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#ive literally been waiting for this excuse lol
cliveguy · 5 months
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the cycle of trying to get mental help on the nhs is like go to doctor during mental health crisis -> they admit you need serious help and put you on a list -> mental health services are so busy it takes them a year to call you -> when they call you they tell you theyre too busy to help but can refer you to group therapy 2 hours away for grief counselling (you lost a loved one 5 years ago) or alcoholics anonymous (you mentioned you drink on the weekend) -> answer further questions that concern them enough that they concede and get you a therapist -> you have 6 weeks of the worst cbt imaginable -> at the end the therapist says you can either take ssris or be marked as treatment resistant -> you refuse the ssris because you hate them -> you get discharged and left to suffer with mental health that has spiralled even further since when you first got referred -> suffer in silence for a few years until you reach your breaking point -> go back to doctor -> waiting list for mental health services has doubled but they put you on it anyway and try to force and ssri prescription on you
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vaguesxrrow · 5 months
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can u plsss write one about charles with an american reader? like the inspo is the olivia rodrigo song so american lol. like maybe him making fun of her accent and her doing the and back and like the differences between the two cultures?
ACTUALLY INSANEEE bc right before seeing this i was singing that song in my head (i dont listen to olivia but i probably should tbh). alsoo i wasn't sure if you wanted a fic or hcs, so i kind of made a 2 in 1. hope you dont mind! xx
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a/n: im not american nor british and ive never been to the usa or the uk... so excuse any inaccuracies pleaseee
tags: g!n reader, american!reader, alive!reader
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you shivered and exhaled sharply, your breath misting out in front of you. the moment you stepped outside, you knew you should have piled on more layers, but edwin had been eager in whisking everyone out the door to carry out an investigation for your current case.
you burrowed closer to charles. obviously, he couldn't provide any real body heat, but being near him was a boost in morale to keep going despite the temperature.
"alright?" he asked, putting an arm across your shoulders.
"i should've put on more layers," you grumbled.
charles laughed as he kissed the top of your head. "you can have my jacket."
shaking your head, you declined. "it's fine, it's not that cold. and besides, i wouldn't want to strip you of your british glory and your british coat."
charles snorted. "so it's my british glory, now? who was the one making fun of my accent literally just yesterday?"
"litch-rally," you parroted, grinning. "why is it that all your t's turn into ch's?"
"hey, you're one to talk - what is it you were ordering at the restaurant yesterday? a glass of wa-der, was it?"
"bite me, charles."
he raised his jacket up and engulfed you with it in a bear hug. you shrieked with laughter and wriggled in his hold, but didn't protest when he demanded you hold your arms out so he could put the jacket on you.
"what are you, a soccer player? i thought i was your [boy/girlfriend/partner], not your competition," you teased.
"soccer?" he mocked, outraged. "soccer? it's football, mate."
"mate?" you scoffed incredulously, although you were smiling. "way to friendzone me after months of dating."
"oh, come on, you know you could never get rid of me." charles pulled you in again, this time by your hand. "and for the record, you look cute wearing my clothes."
a few beats of silence, in which you two looked at each other with similar expressions of fondness and exasperation.
"yeah, okay, now get away from me, you victorian fossil." you shoved him playfully, and sprinted away to catch up with the other three. niko waved you over, giggling at charles, who was jogging to keep up.
"victorian fossil? i grew up in the 80s!" he exclaimed. "you know this!"
⌦ ---
- you do know very well that charles grew up in the 80s - you frequently ask him what it was like back then, because naturally, you'd take an interest in your boyfriend's life
- however, charles loves how you're genuinely interested, and get how watching times change can feel a bit lonely for him sometimes
- you're a great listener when it comes to this (which you think you should be greatly accredited for; charles' good looks can be very distracting at times)
- imagine: you and charles in your room as he looks around, inspecting the decor you have on display as he rambles about life in the 80s
- he tells you about a huge movie premiere he went to:
- charles: "get this, right - a ridiculously long line outside the movie theatre. the weather is absolutely miserable, and so are the people. no one's talking at all. i think everyone was just hungry - i saw this lady have tea delivered.
- you: 'i keep forgetting you have stuff like tea times. and did everyone really have the patience to wait for that long, in silence?'
- charles, with a fake american accent: yeah, dude. in silence.
- you throw a pillow at him.
- you also like telling hilariously bad jokes relating to his accent
- you: psst. charles.
- he turns towards you, already expecting another jab at his british-ness
- you: what day do british people eat the most?
- charles, in a deadpan: what day.
- you: chewsday, innit-
- he yells 'NOPE' and walks through the wall, leaving you to wheeze-laugh on your own
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gaiathemexicanbeauty · 11 months
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Imagine: Mike is back at his mall security guard job, and reader works at the support desk, but more specifically; is in charge of the lost and found.
1st time was because he found an forgotten phone (or something), and was told to take it to the lost and found, where he first met reader.
Then he starts being extra vigilent when walking around, looking for any item that looks misplaced or lost, no matter how unimportant, just as an excuse to go to the lost and found to talk to reader
(Ive never done this before, so sorry if i did anything wrong!)
lost and found | mike schmidt x reader
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word count: 1.2k
warnings: none! just a nice little fluffy piece about a sad sad man lol <3
to the asker, i hope you know that i saw this in my inbox and literally squealed, i was waiting for someone to drop a mike request
i hope that this is to your liking, i was going back and forth trying to decide how to start this off and coming up with tiny little ideas to add
also this probably goes without saying, but i have never worked at a mall nor interacted with mall staff if i can help it so if anything sounds off, feel free to correct me
to anyone who also writes on tumblr, pls tell me how you avoid using y/n, i tried to work around it as much as possible but some times just called for it
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you hold your polite (albeit strained) smile to the blubbering woman walking away, unsure what to do with yourself as whoever she stands with rubs her back in comfortable circles. another lost wedding ring, gone to the test of time as long as the mall shall live: it's not that you didn't feel bad but after wedding ring #120, you kind of start to get used to the routine of things. lost and found wasn't your first choice when you first started working here but as long as you were getting a paycheck, you weren't going to complain. your side of the mall was rarely visited anyway, giving you the opportunity to do plenty of people watching when you weren't rummaging through piles of lost sweaters and purses.
you let out a quiet sigh once the customers are gone, sitting back in your seat and picking up the book you had once been reading; not like there was anything better to do. fully immersed in your book, you don't even notice the footsteps coming up to the counter. "um, hey." you jolt a bit at the sound of a voice, your gaze snapping from your book to whoever is standing only a few feet away. you have to hold back your reaction when you meet his eyes, tired but trying their best to look interested; it takes you a second to realize this is security and not another customer. "shoot, sorry." you mumble with an awkward smile as you sit up, resting your book in your lap to give the man in front of you your full attention. "how can i help you?" with a thin-lipped smile, he holds up a purse; from the looks of the logo on it, it's obvious this is designer.
you whistle as you take the purse from him, examining it with raised eyebrows. "well, you don't see this everyday. someone should come back for it, thanks." you say, flashing a grin at the security guard as he gives you a much more genuine smile. "no problem. if i had known lost and found got to see stuff like this, i would have put in to work over here instead." he says with a chuckle, folding his hands in front of him as he leans on the counter. "oh, we don't get interesting stuff that often, i promise you." you say with a roll of your eyes, putting the purse behind the counter; anyone in their right mind would come back for this thing. "enlighten me." before you can say something, the security guard outstretches a hand to you with a smile. "i'm mike, by the way. i work security." he says as you shake his hand, raising your eyebrows at him playfully. "(y/n). to give you some insight into how very little happens here, try and guess how many gachapon toys i have behind this counter."
and just like that, you've made a friend; not that you'd admit that mike wasn't sore on the eyes this soon. you just found it easy to talk to him considering you had never seen him around up until this point. after your first meeting, mike would regularly stop by whether he had something lost to leave with you or not: if you were lucky, he would even join you for lunch or walk you out at the end of a shift. little by little, you couldn't help but anticipate his arrival, the same relaxed smile always on his face much unlike the first time he'd approached you.
it's been almost a month by this point, you've had so many lost items deposited to you that after a while, throwing things away or reselling them (specific orders from your boss who was rather shocked at how many items you had in the back room) was required after a certain amount of time: not like anyone came back for them anyway. today was no different than the rest, the sounds of buzzing conversation in the distance from the more crowded areas of the mall. you pop the gum in your mouth as you paint your thumbnail a light-yellow color, scrunching your nose a bit at the smell of the nail polish. you blow softly on it, your eyes glancing up to scan your surroundings. what you see nearly makes you laugh. mike is walking over, seemingly at his normal pace before something catches his attention; whatever it is, you most definitely can't see it. when he stoops down to inspect it, he makes a face that you can only decipher as him being slightly annoyed. he catches you looking at him, an embarrassed smile on his face as he makes the rest of the walk of shame over to you when he realizes he's been caught.
"well, what is it this time? a broken watch? some cap with an unexplainable stain on it?" "what kind of person do you take me for? i'm just a faithful employee trying to do my job." mike says as he extends his arms with a playful smile, making you role your eyes as you abandon your nail polish to look up at the man in front of you. you close your eyes as you hold out your hand to him expectantly, waiting for him to drop something into your palm; after how often he came around, you made it something of a guessing game as to what mike was going to bring out. surprisingly, it's small, definitely plastic from the muted sound it makes when it lands in your hand. "it's a toy." "warm enough. you can open your eyes." you start to say something, opening your eyes and inspecting the item in your hand before you pause.
a small, plastic cat sits on a swing, it's paws holding on to the small chains attached to a brightly colored tab; it's obvious you could hang this off a shelf. your cheeks redden a bit as a sheepish smile grows on your face, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear as your other hand holds it up to inspect it further. you'd never actually stopped at the capsule toy machines yourself, starting your collection only a few weeks after starting your job when they popped up so frequently at the counter. "you like it?" you blink at mike as he smiles fondly at you, one hand propping his chin up; you swear you can see a hint of smugness in his gaze. "it's..yeah. it's cute." you say, unable to help the way you giggle a bit as you hang the toy on the edge of the counter. "good. better hope no one come's looking for it." he chuckles softly, his eyes dropping from yours for a moment as you stare in delight at the newest addition to your collection. "i wouldn't give it to them anyway. not knowing you got it for me." mike's lips part a bit in shock, a scoff of disbelief leaving him despite the smile on his face as you smile up at him knowingly. he tries to defend himself, stuttering to say something before you're called by one of your coworkers. "duty calls." you giggle as you rise from your seat, pretending not to notice the way mike is still trying to recover from being caught as you make your way over to your coworker, a smile tugging at your lips.
SECOND ONE SHOT IN A WEEK HOLY MOLY THIS IS NEW to the asker, i hope you enjoyed this, i tried to add my own little spin to things just to give it that little extra romantic flair lol BUTTT i hope that all of you are having a good rest of your day/night/afternoon and stay safe! :D
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kindestofkings · 11 months
Text
photography era
inhaler x reader (platonic)
potential elijah hewson x reader (romantic) ??
reader is childhood bestfriends/ who doubles up as their occasional photographer, who the lads are trying convince to go on tour with them!
authors note: heyyyy so this is my first time every writing/posting something on tumblr so please be kind 🥹 social media aus are my guilty pleasure so i thought id try my had at one ! let me know what you think <33
yourusername
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
yourusername graduated college baby, celebratory drinks, idiots returned to the homeland, re entering my photographer era, (rare) pretty bus seens, my girls <3
view all 100 comments
bobbyskeetz at least this idiot doesn’t still get the bus at the ripe of 24…
yourusername WHO HURT YOU ROBERT ?!??
collegefriend no cause im gonna miss seeing your cute face every day
yourusername no cause I cant think about it or ill get all sad !!
yourusernamecollegefriend we’ll do coffee loads
inhalerfan1 wait who’s this girl?? How does she know the boys?
inhalerfan2 they’re all mutual friends! they all grew up together, think they met during school :)
inhalerfan3 she’s really into photography, she took alot of the bands earlier pics!!
elijahhewson great no excuse now come on tour with us
ryanmcmahon_15 yeah or youll be a big fat liar
joshjenkinson_ yeah time to join your idiots on tour!
yourusername …. dont tempt me
inhalerfan2 omg to be her
(liked by 50 users)
inhalerdublin
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liked by yourusername and others
inhalerdublin dont mind us, just dreaming of festival season. not long now 📸 @lewevans
view all 66 comments
joshjenkinson_ 🤘🏼🤘🏼
bobbyskeetz oh baby take me backkk
ryanmcmahon_15 who are those good lookin fellas?
inhalerfan1 me 🤝 ryan
thinking bobby and eli are goodlookin
(1.2k likes)
yourusername @lewevans the man that you are, these a sick photos 🔥
lewevans cheers mate! hopefully see you in action this time around ?
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
yourusername oh ffs not you too 🫠
yourusername hahah U2 @elijahhewson
elijahhewson ….right prepared to be blocked
yourusername wait no no no come back! I dont even know who bono is !!
elijahhewson removed you as a follower !
yourusername added to their story
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- bobbyskeetz hahahahhaha what an idiot
- joshjenkinson_ oh the receipts are coming out
- ryanmcmahon_15 well you know this is never gonna work to get back in the good books right?
- keep going tho
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername so ill watch you life in pictures like a used watch you sleep 😭
Its now been a million days since my “best friend” cut all contact with me, come back guggi be here 💔
view all 1,000 comments
inhaler1 holy shit these photos are something else
inhaler2 was just thinking this! Ive never seen them before
yourusername heyyy they were acc taken by me! my camera roll is plagued with these boys at this stage lol xx
inhalerfan4 wow i didnt know eli could smile..
bobbyskeetz its yn’s superpower
inhalerfan4 fwfagshsjue wtf hi bobby
joshjenkinson_ and by a million you mean 1 day right?
ryanmcmahon_15 and we were literally all together last night
yourusername god forbid a girl exaggerates every now and again 😀
inhalerfan3 wait omg are they dating?? he looks so boyfriend in these
inhalerfan5 omg they have to be you are so right
inhalerfan2 jesus they’ve said so many times she their bestFRIEND dont be weird
elijahhewson accepted your follow request!
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violetmarkings · 2 years
Text
How Stray Kids would cuddle (based off of tarot readings)
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Genre :: Fluff, Reaction, Tarot reading based
Pairing :: skz members x gender neutral reader
Word count :: 1750
Warnings ::  This is literally a poetic interpretation of tarot readings, lots of metaphors and comparisons, CUDDLES, kisses, hand holding, sappy and romantic, mentions of having wounds, scars, fears (they get soothed), a bit of possessiveness in lee know's, butter croissants, hyunjin wants you to avoid responsibilities, Felix is a cuddle addict, magic (?)
A/N: You guys really enjoyed my poetical take on heartwarming things skz would do while intimate (18+) , so I thought I'd do something else in that writing style! This is the first time I ever do fluff on this account though lol. And since I also do tarot and we've reached another follower milestone, I thought I'd write this as a gift to you guys to celebrate :D  Thank you for the love and follows, guys! <3
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Chan, healing cuddles - V of Wands R, IV of swords R, Wheel of fortune, Justice
The sword, it must be glued to your wrist ;; your body turned into a shield, slashed at - you're weary, full of battle scars from your battles. But to Chan, it doesn't matter if you won or not, all matters that you came to home into his arms. His soldier, his brave, strong soldier, you're back. So many nights he's spent calling you home, sending you doves with secret letters, so that he could hold you again and have you rest ;; let him heal you. The battle's been fought, it's time to let it go now - but how can you, when the wounds still sting? He'll make it better, he promises. He'll be the magical, healing salve you need. The scars, they will always be there, yes ;; but he loves every single one of them. Your heart doesn't need to drum that hard anymore. You don't need to be hyper aware of your foes. It's okay, you're safe. The pain, he's absorbed it, it's gone, disappeared. And no matter how many times you go to war, you can always know, your refuge is always waiting with baited breath, for you to return home, so he can hold you and make all the bad go away.
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Lee know, tight cuddles - VII of pentacles R, X of swords R
Minho's truly like a feline ;; he likes to play with you, play with your heart and nerves. When you want his affection, he'll joke, no you can't have me, but then pull you right back. But please don't misunderstand, you're not just a play mate to him, and he'd never feel ready to let you go. Why? Because although a feline, he's a domesticated one - he can't go on without you, you're his home, his water, his food, he needs you. He might jokingly push you away, but he never ever would want you to leave. Stay, please stay, he'd even beg. The way he'd hold you, although you'd never know - would be as if he was scared you'd disappear the next second, like sand between his fingers. When he'd hold you, it'd be tight, glued to him, you're his, his, he refuses to let you go. Waking up without you would mean breaking to shambles, so please excuse him. Excuse him for squeezing you to his heart, for wanting to drown in your perfume, for putting your body in love arrest. His love birthed demons, and they whisper to him, if he doesn't entangle himself with you, weave himself to you - one day he'll wake up without a home.
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Changbin, royal cuddles - Spirit of pentacles, Lord of pentacles, Nine of pentacles R, Dreamer of Swords
Teach Changbin how to love you, show him who to be, how to be. Nothing is off the table, no, anything for his love. How do you like to be held? Where? When? Your word is law, and he's an abiding citizen ;; he wants to be fair and righteous for you, your figure of justice, your hero. For you, he'll provide, turn himself upside down, there's no limit ;; he'll make sure there is none. He can't only give you one thing, one domain, no, no. Love is complex, love is tangled in a labyrinth of endless ends, and he must explore every path, he must fulfil every sense. A pillow to rest your head, sweet scented sheets for comfort, the warmth of his body he gives to you so you won't feel cold, his fingers are now made to soothe you and his voice is whispering to you, caressing your heart too, how could he ever forget it. You'd think it'd be impossible for him to fetch you hot butter croissants in the morning and serve them to you like your royalty? Well you're wrong. Royalty would envy you, kings and queens stirring in their graves over how well he spoils you.
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Hyunjin, escapist cuddles - VIII of Wands R
There was something pressing on your shoulders before Hyunjin's arms enveloped you. The weight of the world, some sort of societal confection, something urgent, causing you distress. But what was it, again? You can't remember. Good, good, you're in the loop now. You're in his infinity loop, in his hold that seems to repeat itself forever ;; but it never bores you, not at all. But what it is this loop? It's his hold on you, his comforting touch, warmth, smell. Society is calling you? Don't go. There's something urgent? No, it can wait. But you can't always run away from responsibility in his arms, right? Wrong, wrong. In his arms, he can protect you. In his arms, he knows you're safe. In his arms, he can make you happy. Like a broken vinyl player, he'll keep scratching the same note, don't go, stay with me instead. Even if to most it's illusionary, an oasis is the better than the unforgiving desert - so stay. Enjoy the magic and lose yourself in the joy.
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Han, binding cuddles - Spirit of Pentacles, The lovers R, Five of Wands
Jisung loves you with everything he has - he won't be stingy about absolutely anything. His heart? You have it. His body? Yours to move, to feel, to breathe. There's nothing of his that isn't yours, no moment when he'd want to be apart from you. You're entangled in body in soul, only to grow closer and closer and even more inseparable, like two trees weaving their roots with one another. But as trees, you don't need to speak, now do you? No, you can just communicate through the mere touch of branches, that mess you've woven yourself into. Telepathy, that's it. He'll hold your hand, yes baby I hear you. He'll pull you closer, I'm listening, tell me more. He'll kiss you gently, we'll get through it together, I swear. And as your head lies on his chest, on his heartbeat - you can hear them, his thoughts. They're all calling for you, your name sounds so soft and angelic repeating in his mind, and he proclaims his undying love again and again with the voice of his touch. So if your lover is ever being quiet, close your ears and use your other senses ;; because he's speaking, oh he's so loud - he wants to tell you how impossible it is to ever remove his roots from within the grasp of yours.
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Felix, consistent cuddles - Knight of swords, VIII of wands R, Four of wands
Love doesn't need a specific timing, Felix thinks. It comes from a deep place, rooted in the heart, it grows roots and remains there only to grow stronger and taller ;; to hold you close, it doesn't need to be grand, it just needs to be genuine. And genuine he is, yes, when he says there won't be a moment when he won't want you in his hold. He's introverted himself into your arms, and just like the comfort of home, it won't become old or stale to him. So he'll want you, want to cling onto you and warmth and soul, at any point, through any feeling. Sadness, happiness, comfort and it's opposite ;; truth be told, he doesn't need a reason, it's an impulse, an instinct to run to you. Sometimes he'll apologize, that's he's too much, that he's weighting you down, holding you hostage, craving you like an insatiable beast, no matter the time, place and situation - and he hopes, wishes, begs that you won't feel his hugs, cuddles, and affection would lose meaning due to overuse. But he always loves you, in body and soul, without the need of an occasion - so please understand, if his arms are always around you, that doesn't mean it's a meaningless habit ;; every single moment mean the world to him, just like you do.
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Seungmin, dreamy cuddles - Two of wands, Maat, Ten of Swords
You are where he dreams and what he dreams, both at once. Brimming at the edge of an inception, Seungmin dreams of dreaming with you, next to you, of you. Tangled with you, all is right - he can rest his head, his soul, his heart, they're safe with you, in your loving arms. Only by you can he feel at ease to rest, to let himself overcome by slumber ;; because when he closes his eyes and journeys to Dreamland, his body is protected by yours - but even there, in the astral plane, he'll search for you, to inspire him of paradise, of perfection to plaster a smile on his face in the real world. But he doesn't even have to be asleep to dream, no, no. Not when you're around, he doesn't. He's awake, but he's dreaming, looking at you with galaxies in his eyes, caressing your face with gentleness ;; you're the moon in his dark sky, you light up his soul - and then he dreams with you, too. Into the night, he tells you all he dreams of, all his desires of the future, reveals his secrets wishes to never let you go ;; but they won't remain just dreams, no no. They will be plans, they will be real, your future together will happen, paradise is achievable. And as words stop falling from your lips and eyelids slowly close, once again all is well because you're together.
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I.N, magical cuddles - Queen of Cups, II of Swords R, Page of Swords
You've probably never felt something as unique and special as Jeongin's magical touch. His hold on you, it's anything but physical. His trust is holding the hand of your trust, his fears are caressing your fears, his doubts are kissing away yours, his wounds are hugging yours, his vulnerability is cradling your vulnerability with upmost care ;; he wants you to know you're safe. Your thoughts are safe, your emotions are safe, in this bodily hold that serves completely other purposes. And yet, there's some physicality to it too, since your bodies are vessels, communicators of the mind and soul ;; his aura, his effect on you, makes you think you've gone delusional sometimes - because you can swear there's a certain sparkle to his fingertips, and when he glides them above you, it's like he's casting a spell. A spell that heals, a spell that nurtures, calms, fixes absolutely everything. A spell that replaces any evil, any pain - mental, emotional, physical - with purity and goodness. And just how he can caress your mind and heart with his fingers, your thoughts and emotions can smile when he's around.
---
With some members I needed to pull a lot more cards lol, don't mind the inconsistency pls. I also used two different decks in case you're wondering
-Admin Starlight ⭐
If you wish to tip/donate to my work, you can do so on my Ko-Fi!
471 notes · View notes
kindkingsarchieve · 11 months
Text
photography era
inhaler x reader (platonic)
potential elijah hewson x reader (romantic) ??
reader is childhood bestfriends/ who doubles up as their occasional photographer, who the lads are trying convince to go on tour with them!
authors note: heyyyy so this is my first time every writing/posting something on tumblr so please be kind 🥹 social media aus are my guilty pleasure so i thought id try my had at one ! let me know what you think <33
yourusername
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
yourusername graduated college baby, celebratory drinks, idiots returned to the homeland, re entering my photographer era, (rare) pretty bus seens, my girls <3
view all 100 comments
bobbyskeetz at least this idiot doesn’t still get the bus at the ripe of 24…
yourusername WHO HURT YOU ROBERT ?!??
collegefriend no cause im gonna miss seeing your cute face every day
yourusername no cause I cant think about it or ill get all sad !!
yourusername collegefriend we’ll do coffee loads
inhalerfan1 wait who’s this girl?? How does she know the boys?
inhalerfan2 they’re all mutual friends! they all grew up together, think they met during school :)
inhalerfan3 she’s really into photography, she took alot of the bands earlier pics!!
elijahhewson great no excuse now come on tour with us
ryanmcmahon_15 yeah or youll be a big fat liar
joshjenkinson_ yeah time to join your idiots on tour!
yourusername …. dont tempt me
inhalerfan2 omg to be her
(liked by 50 users)
inhalerdublin
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liked by yourusername and others
inhalerdublin dont mind us, just dreaming of festival season. not long now 📸 @lewevans
view all 66 comments
joshjenkinson_ 🤘🏼🤘🏼
bobbyskeetz oh baby take me backkk
ryanmcmahon_15 who are those good lookin fellas?
inhalerfan1 me 🤝 ryan
thinking bobby and eli are goodlookin
(1.2k likes)
yourusername @lewevans the man that you are, these a sick photos 🔥
lewevans cheers mate! hopefully see you in action this time around ?
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
yourusername oh ffs not you too 🫠
yourusername hahah U2 @elijahhewson
elijahhewson ….right prepared to be blocked
yourusername wait no no no come back! I dont even know who bono is !!
elijahhewson removed you as a follower !
yourusername added to their story
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- bobbyskeetz hahahahhaha what an idiot
- joshjenkinson_ oh the receipts are coming out
- ryanmcmahon_15 well you know this is never gonna work to get back in the good books right?
- keep going tho
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername so ill watch you life in pictures like a used watch you sleep 😭
Its now been a million days since my “best friend” cut all contact with me, come back guggi be here 💔
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inhaler1 holy shit these photos are something else
inhaler2 was just thinking this! Ive never seen them before
yourusername heyyy they were acc taken by me! my camera roll is plagued with these boys at this stage lol xx
inhalerfan4 wow i didnt know eli could smile..
bobbyskeetz its yn’s superpower
inhalerfan4 fwfagshsjue wtf hi bobby
joshjenkinson_ and by a million you mean 1 day right?
ryanmcmahon_15 and we were literally all together last night
yourusername god forbid a girl exaggerates every now and again 😀
inhalerfan3 wait omg are they dating?? he looks so boyfriend in these
inhalerfan5 omg they have to be you are so right
inhalerfan2 jesus they’ve said so many times she their bestFRIEND dont be weird
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part 2
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eriexplosion · 7 months
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MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.
Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.
"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?
Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.
Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.
Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.
AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"
Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds
THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3
MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.
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HE IS HERE!
God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.
They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.
THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.
I really love the name Hexx btw
"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.
YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.
I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.
The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.
I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.
Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'
That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.
"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.
"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.
Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)
Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.
"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.
My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.
Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.
"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."
GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.
"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."
I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.
Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.
Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.
Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.
"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"
The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.
AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.
Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.
And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.
I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.
Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.
THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.
The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.
And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.
Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.
HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE
Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over
The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.
THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE
"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH
The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.
The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.
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Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?
Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.
But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!
The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.
"Cooperate and you might survive."
Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.
I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.
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Wait why are you supporting that poll?? I thought your polls were over, am I mistaken?? Do you just wanna still be active on the account or did I miss something? /genq
Also why support that side of the argument? (Talking about the twink poll, where you agreed with the borderline rude person running the account 💀) Look up the definition of twink and twunk. There IS a word for larger people who are otherwise twinks, they’re called twunks. Don’t just lump them in with a separate label??? Use the word they already have lol
No, there cannot be ‘fat twinks’, those are twunks. Twunks are valid and we love them, please don’t erase the word :,) </3
hi!!!! ive been working on and just started round one for a second showdown in this account. that has been a thing! sorry you missed it i guess????
you said /genq but it came off as pretty agressive tbh so im not sure how to feel about that????
to adress the twink poll
1. The rules stated both twinks and twunks were allowed! your point that a twunk isnt a twink means nothing here :)
2. a lot of ppl dont think fat men can be hunks either, cause hunks are "strong not fat". so by your logic a twunk would NOT include fat people, actually! then you could say "oh there's the term otter" but thats for hairy men. now u have the fat hairless gay mlm who id w the label of twink but arent accepted under that, or under anything else apparently
3. if you were following the poll before it started, there was a conversation about fatphobia in he gay community, where op even said they would extend the poll to include otters, until one anon said that he, as a fat gay man, was happy to see people being so accepting of "fat twinks", so op decided to accept fat twinks.
4. out of all the characteristics that make someone a twink, why is being skinny so important? there isnt a fat equivalent (see point 2) so whats wrong w fat gay men who fit all the other criteria also wanting to use the label? why does that bother you?
5. the poll runner of @twinkpoll responding to rude people w rudeness does not make them rude. None of these ppl cared to speak up when the nominations were up. everyone actively involved at the time was aware and supportive of op's decision to include fat twinks. thats why guillermo got in. People nominated him a lot.
6. again, a twunk is Not a fat twink. The term for a fat twink does not exist. But even if you were right, it wouldnt mean anything because the rules always included twunks too. literally from when the nominations went live it included twunks and nobody cared until the fat guy got in
7. im fat!!!! i might not be a twink but i have other issues of certain labels leaving me out because of my weight!! thats plain fatphobia and ppl just want to believe it isnt because coming up 2 excuses makes them feel better!! if one fat person is happy w more ppl accepting fat mlm as twinks (like the anon in twink poll) i will be here to support them.
8. Why tf are u messaging me about this if ur not even aware enough of my blog to know i was running another poll? where did you come from?? if you're just here to accuse me of "supporting the wrong side" in a stupid fight that shouldnt be happening, see yourself out.
also dont be a coward if u wanna start shit w someone get off anon, if i get another anon message about this its going straight to the trash
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ovydka · 1 year
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I see you've been making a lot of OC art/posts recently, and they seem really interesting from what you've shared so far, so I was wondering if (or where) I can learn more about them? (No pressure if you're not done with their stories yet, but if there's anything you'd like to share, I'd be interested to hear it!)
hi!!! so theres no place to learn more because i havent worked out most of the story and worldbuilding in a concrete way yet but heres some basic info and fun facts i can give yall now:
it takes place in 1980's soviet lithuania in a secret research facility with the security of a missile launch base (like literally because im basing most of the security around the cold war museum in lithuania)
most of the stuff surrounding the facility is like an absurdist satire on soviet nomenclature, bureaucracy and compartmentalization
the scientists are all divided into departments and are blindly following orders from the higher-ups without having much of a clue on what sort of man-made horror theyre creating
the facility is made up on one normal ground floor and a ridiculous amount of underground floors that hold more important creations and departments the deeper it goes. going any deeper than is allowed by your higher-ups is ridiculously difficult (its sorta like trying to get into the castle in "the castle" by kafka)
the archivist character is based on an unhinged man in my town that looks and acts like jesus and everyone calls (town name)'s jesus. his personality is wildly different, i just based his appearance on him because ive been looking for a reason to paint our jesus for years now
most of the main characters are queer! (a lesbian couple thats had their shit together since uni and a messy gay couple that just met a few years ago and figured out their feeling even later)
also fun fact lina and arvydas are sibling! arvydas is older by 2-3 years
you can also listen to the character playlists ive made for the main 4 on spotify! its music that reminds me of them, not music they would listen to lol (although most of them would fuck with the smiths if they managed to get some of their music)
it would take me 5 business days to explain their characters so this is easier at the moment lol
https://open.spotify.com/user/yk3m3jq9flenwmnvp6mi3xd5h?si=hs44pnADR5uKKDgie8HueQ
(i hope this link works but if it doesnt, just look up ovydka and you should technically find me)
anyways thank you for asking, ive been waiting for an excuse to infodump about my ocs for a while now :D
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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years
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hiiii! i’ll be reacting to 17 & 18.1 so i’m sorry & pls excuse me if this is a lot LOL
17:
you jumped RIGHT into it i see!!! & let me just say..i nearly DIED!! YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND!!! i swear i could’ve passed out right w her😂😂😂 elvis saying that’s not normal like what he’s doing to her is?! PLS!!! the way he ordered all her fave foods, it’s the little stuff that shows how he feel🥹 the flashback?? i understand the craziness of the situation but all i can think about is how elvis is ALWAYS there. every. single. time. we LOVE him. the TENSION & the ANXIETY i was feeling when she was up at the lil get together?! the DISGUST when jack kept pushing up on her?! everytime he calls her treasure i get chills & not in a good way. i never thought i could hate a written character more in my life. the confirmation of “cheating” (bc should we reallyyyy call it that atp?? LOL) being him seeing the hickies?! oh i was shaking in my boots. now, i understand the whole purpose of the way this is written is that i’m putting myself in her shoes but WHEN HE DRAGGED HER OUT THAT BATHROOM, DRESS UNDONE,SCREAMING?!?! OH I REALLY FELT THE HATE & EMBARRASSMENT TIMES 100. STEAM WAS COMING OUT MY EARS. i was surprised elvis didn’t pop his ass right then & there. we love a king w a lil self control. emphasis on a lil😂i think i paused in my reading for a good 10 minutes when jack punched her. jaw DROPPED. & i swear i screamed when elvis started beating his ass. my heart SOARED. FINALLYYYY IVE BEEN WAITING & i CACKLED at the confusion from jack. sir, she had that scarf on AGAIN & you’re confused??? PLS. the way EVERYBODY had to hold him back & bring him to his knees from red?! i was eating it up!! & idk….jack deserved more than a smack from her, but at the same time, he not even worth it. elvis did him in enough. now, w all the passing out & throwing up…. pregnancy is running through my brain. MAYBE IM REACHING IDK IDK. this entire part was so JUICY!!! WHEW i was on edge the ENTIRE time. the excitement i’m feeling thinking about what’s next now that everything is finally out on the table?!?! you never fail to surprise me!!!
18.1:
i know you mentioned possibly doing his pov at some point but THIS?!?! oh this is not what i was expecting!!! i am GAGGED!!!! for one, yk i LOVE your flashbacks. but these?! idk i wouldn’t say these were the most intense but they are the most important to me in a way. maybe bc it really confirms everything for me. like clearly just off everything from before, we know he’s in love. BUT READING THESE?!?! HES BEEN DOWN BAD HIS WHOLE LIFE BASICALLY LOL PLEASEEEEE!! that poor baby!!! we know our girl has been too but at least hers is more so on a subconscious level for so many years lol it’s so insane to me how GREAT you write their connection. i’ll say that 1000 times bc i swear i can literally feel it. my heart physically hurts reading this part! the way he yearns for her is so😩😩😩😩 the way he was holding back for so long but after that night he stayed w her he’s like yea no fuck that!! then BOOM! FUCKING JACK MAN!!!!! i teared up! & me knowing the torment that’s still to come & the YEARS of heartbreak he’s gonna go through got me so SAD!! it took SO long for him to finally have her!!! also, now that i’m thinking. elvis knew jack wanted her from the jump, that’s why he didn’t say shit even knowing they have that intense unexplainable connection but HER?! what’s her tea?!?! after she was done w ted she should’ve been ON IT. BUT i can say i’m glad bc all that ripping & running he was doing early in his career, it wouldn’t have been fair (which actually was probably her thought process now that i’m typing it lol) & it probably all would’ve fell apart. timing is a important thing. i cannot WAIT for 18.2!!!!! something so good always comes after a great flashback to connect & you gave us a few so im ready!!
you really pull some crazy emotions out of me reading this series. I LOVE IT. letting yk NOW, once this is complete?! oh i will pay good money to have this on paper in my bookshelf!!!!
First, I'm sorry it took so long to get to this ask, but OMG, Kelly Honey, I LOVEEEEE this. LOVE. IT. Your passionate reactions are what I live for and thank you for blessing me with them! 🥰 You somehow put into words all the fun emotions I'm trying to glean from y'all as a writer and it's just great to see! So many good observations and theories going on here!
My brain is a bit fried from finishing 18.2 just now, so I'll just say that I cannot wait to see how the next part sends you over the edge, babycakes...💋
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idealisticrealism · 2 years
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TCL 2x10 recap
Hi I loooooooved this episodeeeeeeeeee 
Many thoughts below lol
Okay first things first, I already love this song (Velvet Ring by Big Thief) and it has had many plays on my TCL playlist lol. But ugh Thony alone in the house with her critically ill son, her whole life revolving around administering those meds every 6 hours? This show loves causing me pain haha speaking of which, her IV line has not been correctly primed (to remove air bubbles) and I’m being so brave about it lol  But anyway ngl it makes me giggle a bit that this cake has apparently taken like 12 hours to make lol. Ah, stress baking. We’ve all been there. But omg wait IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY???? Aaaaaaahh I know in 2x05 he said he was ‘almost six’ but I didn’t realise he meant he was only like 2 weeks away from it!! Omg which makes me even more emotional about Thony looking back at him before she left to take the jet to Manila, knowing she might not ever be able to come back ughhh. And then they have their little birthday party, just the two of them– just like it used to be, them against the world while Marco was off doing who knows what– and ugh how hard it must be to go back to that after months of having a loving family surrounding them with Fi and the kids and even Arman? And then ugh the way she smiles at him and blows out the candles for him, even though you can see how much it’s breaking her heart to see him like this? Someone save meee
Okay holy hell I don’t know what inspired this Nadia look but I am INTO IT. We stan a stunning and badass queen. But omg the fact RK keeps all his meds in his office drawer? Seems unlikely for a guy who likes to appear invulnerable. This moment is hilarious though bc she takes a pic of the meds, but most of them are turned so you can’t even read the label? Very helpful lolllll. Of the six pull bottles in the drawer, I can only make out one name clearly, which is Ibuprofen, aka literally an over-the-counter mild painkiller, which he also appears to have been given then incorrect dose of.  He appears to be on a blood thinner which I am extremely curious about, plus something for blood pressure, which is unsurprising tbh lol, given the way he works himself up haha– and speaking of which, he’s taking something for anxiety/agitation lol (definitely unsurprising). It entertains me so much that the pill bottle appears to list the medication as ‘benzodiazepines’ which is actually the drug class, not a specific drug itself lol. Seriously, TCL writers, any chance you want to hire me as your medical advisor?? I'll do it for free!! Hell, I’ll pay you to let me do it lol. Bc as much as I loved this ep, the medical stuff was painful haha. But anyway when Robert comes in, Nadia seems to grab the pill bottle from the far end, which is literally the Ibuprofen– and he tells her they’re too strong for her. Help this is too funny. Also I’ve tried that pressure point before (did it actually help? No idea lol) but it definitely won't help rn bc he’s literally not even putting pressure on the spot? Lol. Honestly I thought he was doing this as an excuse to check her pulse and see if she was hiding something, but his fingers aren’t in the right spot for that either. Bro’s literally just sitting there tenderly holding her hand lol (not that I can blame him lol, I’d do the same). But uh oh the way he reacts to her mention of Arman running the club with her, and his “in my business we eliminate liabilities” line… yeah things definitely ain't looking great for Arman rn. Also sidenote but seriously Robert what is up with that silver clasp on your jacket you look ridiculous. Ask your bae for some style tips please lol
Ugghhhh Fi desperately trying to clean for JD, trying to feel like she’s contributing something and not just being a burden, and also trying to show her appreciation and gratitude in one of the few ways she can. ‘Acts of service’ is definitely one of her love languages ugh. Also omgggg Laura the gf is gooooone (sorry, faceless name-buddy, but I’m on Fi’s side here lol) and aaaaaaaaahhh J-Fi are being all cute and flirty and kissing and omg my ship is sailing???? Honestly this is happening waaay too quick and easy and I’m a little terrified about that, but I’m just going to ignore that dread and enjoy it while I can lol. Also poor man is going to get a crick in his neck having to bend down that far to kiss her lol. He doesn't seem to mind though, and i certainly don't either haha.  But sigh Thony couldn’t you have waited another minute on the cockblocking?? Let your girl get some, bc god knows she deserves it haha. (Ngl Thony deserves it too; hurry up and get your act together, Armony! Take some lessons from J-Fi lol). But ugh JD is just so sweet and understanding and I love him???? I love how happy he makes her. And ‘we’re not done with this’ YEAH GIRL GET IT. (Not exactly sure how you’ll go about that when you’ve got a house full of kids, but I believe in you lol)
(*Casually pretends like I didn’t just spend over an hour photo-editing a screenshot I took of the ‘The Cleaning Ladies’ banner hanging on the wall of their office so I could have a good clear copy of their logo lol*)
Aaaanyways, speaking of the office, the decor is so funny to me, with all the colourful cleaning products perfectly spaced along the walls. Like it looks cute and all but I feel that it just has to be a really inconvenient way for them to be stored when they actually need to be used?? Ngl I also have some things to say about how the meds are arranged/displayed in the clinic part as well but I’m just going to let that slide lol. But oooooh what a beautiful serendipitous occurrence that she and Arman just happen to be there ~alone~ at the same time… like hey you two, I hear there’s a free bed at the back of the clinic??? Just saying lol. But ugh I love that Arman goes from ‘oh shit better deflect quick and hope she doesn’t question why I’m here’, right to ‘wait my Thony-is-upset senses are tingling, must give ALL THE COMFORT’ in like 2 seconds flat lol. Tbh I’ll never be over the incredibly gentle way he looks at her here, or that tiny “Hey, Thony?” that escapes him when he sees her struggling to get the words out. Our boy just hates seeing her hurting ughhh. And then finally he reaches for her just like in 1x06– hands not quite touching her, letting her decide whether to accept his embrace or not– and ugh she steps straight into him, her head pressing against his chest as she cries. And honestly I am obsessed with the fact that she only breaks down like this in front of him?? Even with Fi, she works hard to keep herself fairly together– her voice shakes and her eyes get shiny, but she doesn’t cry, and she’s often the one reassuring Fi that it will all be okay. But with Arman she doesn’t have to hold back, doesn’t have to be the strong one. For those brief few moments, she can just let herself be the one being comforted for once, can let herself simply sink into the comfort of his solid body as he holds her, his cheek resting against her head as he promises her that she’ll get through this. Tbh given that we can’t see her right hand, I’m going to headcanon that it’s in between them,  gripping the edge of his jacket and holding on tight because she can’t actually hold him– not when she (mistakenly, obviously) thinks he’s Nadia’s once more. Which is a big part of the reason why she pulls back again before too long, all too aware of all that’s standing between them, forcing her to have to put up her walls again ugh. Ngl I love how carefully he held her though– in 1x06, he couldn’t stop himself from holding her face, from looking at her mouth, making it clear to her how much he wanted her. Now, they’re obviously both already fully aware of that, just as they’re aware of how complicated things are, and so he keeps his hands only on her back, his grip light, letting her pull away when she’s ready. Though lbr after the shit that these two have been through lately, they both need like an hour-long hug lol (damn I should have pitched that to the writers for the finale lol)
Poor foolish Arman was really hoping he was going to get outta there without her asking him again what he was doing lol. Too bad,  buddy. But ugh you can see him considering the idea of lying to her and keeping her in the dark about his plans– like he did with Nadia in S1 about the gun deal/Mexico stuff etc– but he can’t. After 1x05, he and Thony don’t lie to each other anymore, and so even though he knows she won’t approve, he still tells her. And okay I know that this scene has caused a lot of contention in the fandom– and a lot of hate for Thony, which I’m sad about– but I’m going to come right out and say it: Thony is right, and Arman is wrong. Now before i go any further, let’s not forget that I have been one of Arman’s most vocal supporters in the fandom all season, especially when he was getting hate in the early/middle eps; these huge recaps are literally evidence of how much I love and support my boy haha. And I am still very much his supporter now, and I completely understand why he is becoming desperate to free them all from RK (see my last recap for more about that, since I feel I've already covered his perspective pretty well there). But I have to say that in this case, I am in complete agreement with Thony. So let’s see if I can explain lol.
Okay so firstly let’s talk about Arman's plan to kill RK. He intends to do it by creating a toxic interaction between RK's regular medications and the Digoxin that he just grabbed at the clinic, thus causing a seemingly-natural heart attack without ever having to touch RK. Sounds like a perfect crime! No one will ever know! It’s brilliant, right? Wrong! It’s a terrible plan literally full of flaws. And okay look, I can say with some amount of authority here that with the exact right combination of circumstances– taking into account the medication and dose used, the specific medications the person is on, their pre-existing level of cardiac function and overall health, and also like a huge amount of sheer luck– there is the chance it would work. A very small chance, but sure, it exists. In this situation, however? No way. And Thony, a fucking cardiac surgeon, knows this. Even if Arman manages to succeed with giving RK the Digoxin undetected (a huge risk in itself), then the chance of it interacting with his meds is incredibly low, and the chance of it causing a fatal heart attack is practically non-existent. Thony knows all this, and maybe if she was well-rested and stress-free (instead of sleep deprived and emotionally distraught from caring for her dying child) then she would have been able to explain it to him calmly and in a way that he'd understand. But she’s got no mental space for that, especially when her mind is immediately equating the loss of RK with the loss of Luca’s meds– aka, her only chance of saving Luca's life. Because, remember, he is DYING. Like actively dying as we speak. If that fluid around the lungs keeps building up, his lungs won’t be able to take in the amount of oxygen needed to supply his body, and he’ll go into multi-organ failure and die. And that’s not to mention that his liver is already failing– if she can’t counteract that soon with the meds, then draining the fluid won’t help. He’ll die from the flood of toxins being released from his diseased liver, much of which will invade his brain, creating irreversible and fatal damage. And okay I’m sorry I know I’m getting grim here, but I have literally watched people die from this multiple times, because once it gets past a certain point, even an entire medical team can’t help. And I don’t doubt that Thony has seen it happen many times too, and so knows exactly the horrible fate that Luca is heading towards– and yet people are really out here judging her for doing whatever it takes to stop it from happening????? Guys. Guys.
Like okay I absolutely do believe that Arman intends to get her the drugs asap (even though he did a terrible job of actually communicating that intention to her), and I'm sure that he’s confident he can definitely make it happen– but honestly it doesn’t matter.  The risk is just too goddamn high, because if even just one thing goes wrong– and based on his-less-than-airtight plan, it almost definitely will– then the meds will be lost, and Luca is dead. And possibly Arman is too, if he gets caught by RK. Honestly Arman is too blinded by his need to be free of RK to be able to see how flawed his plan is and how grave the consequences could be. He’s also blinded by the hurt and anger he feels when Thony demands “With what money? What resources?” because it makes him feel like she doesn't trust him, and that his money and connections were all that actually mattered to her– not him– and that now that there’s someone else who has far more of both, he’s been tossed aside. Which is absolutely not true (dude, she loves you, you idiot), but it still hits right on target of one of Arman’s main character flaws: his fear that he is only valued or wanted by others because of what he can give them, and that if he can no longer provide those things, then he will be deemed worthless and abandoned. It’s been fascinating to see that trait become more overt this season, but man does it lead to him making some goddamn questionable decisions lol. Ugh but anyway, I feel like I’ve ranted about this for long enough, so TLDR: Thony is right to try to stop Arman, and it’s not her fault that she didn’t necessarily handle the conversation well, especially considering it was abruptly sprung on her when she’s already practically at her breaking point because her child is dying and she is devoting every ounce of energy she has into trying to keep that from happening. Fight me on it lol
Ok this big bald guy better be careful, Thony is having the week from hell and tbh could snap at any moment haha. I think we can all assume he’s definitely there because RK wants her to know that he’s watching, that he holds the power here and that she can’t escape, but I kinda hope that it also is a little bit because he values her now and wants her (or okay, maybe his investment in her) protected from Sin Cara? 
And then oooh Nadia has a guard too (again, for protection, but also because RK is possessive as fuck lol) and I appreciate that he at least didn’t even try to stop Arman going to see her? Tbh I could have believed RK giving the order that Arman is to be kept away from Nadia, but he probably didn’t want to upset her by doing that. But omg okay hold up, Arman is making Nadia dose RK? Holy shit, this is further evidence that Arman really is acting like a cornered animal and not thinking things through, bc he would normally have never put her at risk like that. He would have used her to get the info he needed, like what drugs RK is on, and maybe to create a distraction, but he would do the risky bit himself. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you and it’s not going to come down to that” you can’t promise that!!! Your plan is so full of holes you could use it as a fishing net! And omg "just put enough of these in his drink to stop his heart" oh yeah and do you know how many that is, Arman?? Do you??? I can guarantee Nadia doesn’t! Plus there's no certainty that the drug will even have that effect on his heart!! This plan is the worst aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! But ugh at least he has actually taken clear steps to find Luca’s meds and get access to them– and omg the helpless look on his face when Nadia realises that the meds he's so determined to get are for Thony, and the way he tells her it's not up for debate?? That was hot. But see this is what he needed to make clear to Thony at the clinic, that he was actually actively in process of getting the meds and that he wasn’t going to kill RK until after he had them. Unless maybe it was their argument that made him realise how urgent the situation was and so he stepped up his meds-acquisition plans to show her that he could be relied upon and that he wouldn’t do anything that might endanger Luca. Who knows. 
Curious about why Thony did a peritoneal tap (draining the abdomen) rather than a pleural tap (draining the chest), considering Luca's abdomen didn't look at all distended/swollen, but lbr it was probably just easier to film lol. Also the ‘dressing’ she put on would be practically useless in preventing fluid leakage or the infiltration of bacteria, but whatevs lol. It was cool getting to see his Chevron incision from the surgery– ngl I’d wondered which kind of incision she’d used (oh, the things I think about lol).
Honestly I’m surprised Garrett didn’t immediately go track Arman down and bring him in the moment he saw that partial print, but I guess Russo is managing to keep him under control for now. (Since it’s at least the day after they matched the print, I’m curious about what he did when he got home– get drunk and stare at Maya’s photo or something? Or did he stay late at the office trying to find more evidence begot finally going home to crash?). But lol at his theory that Arman killed Maya bc he found out she was an informant, and was worried she would rat him out– for what, lol? Arman and Maya literally never met until the night he shot her, and he had nothing to do with Cortes’ whole cartel thing until the FBI made him get involved. Maya would have known absolutely nothing about Arman or any of his activities. Also slight sidenote but I find it so funny that they never tied Hayak’s death to him– like clearly the autopsy would have found the puncture mark in his neck, and so the next logical step is to check the camera footage for everyone who had been in the infirmary lately and might have gotten access to needles? And if they'd done that, they would have seen who had just been in there earlier for a check of the wounds he received after being attacked by inmates who were clearly hired by someone with lots of money? C'mon detectives. This is not a hard one lol. But sigh anyway, I’ll forgive this show for a plothole or two– especially one like this, because Arman getting pinned for Hayak’s murder and spending his life in jail would have been very inconvenient for my Armony shipping plans lol. But hmm ok Russo does seem genuinely determined to get RK and everyone he’s connected to, so maybe my conspiracy theory is a little crazy lol. Oh well, it was a fun thought
You know it surprises me how much I actually love Thony/Nadia scenes. There’s obviously tension there– resentment from Nadia, guilt from Thony, and jealousy from both sides– but idk, they’re oddly united by the simple fact that they both love Arman. I’d also like to think that it was a deliberate costuming choice in this scene that they are both wearing blue rn– which has been the colour most associated with Arman through the show (for Nadia it’s green, and for Thony it’s obviously red) but that’s probably just me imagining things lol. But so anyway, I love that Nadia could have had her big security guy immediately throw Thony out, but instead she wordlessly led her to the office where they could talk. Ngl though I did giggle at her ‘well that’s progress’ line when Thony said Arman wasn’t answering her calls. The snark is strong with this one lol. But ugh their argument is amazing for so many reasons? Thony begging for Nadia’s help, knowing she has no right to, but doing it anyway because there’s literally nothing she won’t do to save Luca. Nadia clearly feeling a reluctant pity for Thony even despite her anger. Thony trying not to react to the way Nadia keeps using ‘we’ to refer to herself and Arman like they’re a single unit. Nadia getting pissed at Thony for working with RK and ‘betraying’ Arman, which is exactly what Thony got pissed at her for doing only a few eps ago. Nadia clearly now believing that Thony just uses people to get what she wants and then discards them (making the point by referring to RK as being Thony’s ‘hero’ now, after having called Arman that multiple times in previous eps)– a belief which would then make her even angrier that Thony destroyed their marriage seemingly for nothing. And– maybe because of that– Nadia deliberately not mentioning that Arman is literally out getting Luca’s meds for her right now. Then there's Thony’s instant and strong reaction when Nadia accuses her of not caring what happens to Arman, and then going quiet and clenching her jaw at the genuine worry and certainty in Nadia’s voice when she says RK is going to kill Arman, and the way she then leaves without trying to argue further. And let’s not forget the fact that she didn’t actually tell Nadia that they can’t kill Kamdar, but just told her to wait. Honestly I think that once she got her hands on Luca’s meds and ensured he was safe, she would have actually helped them to kill RK (and in a much smarter way lol), and I think that if Arman had answered any of her damn calls, she would have told him that. When they spoke at the clinic she was already upset and also completely caught off guard by his plan, but she’s had time to calm down and think about it now, and I think she would have talked it out with him and come up with a joint plan that would have protected both him and Luca. But instead of that, we got some real 'Romeo and Juliet' style miscommunication happening here, and well, that’s never led to disaster, right??? Right??
Lol if I saw Arman walking through my workplace, I too would follow after him and stare at him like these two guys are hahaha. Btw where is this shipping container place? Vegas, surely, because I assume he didn’t drive the 4 hours to LA just to talk to this guy lol. Also ngl I have to giggle because it’s been literally like a couple of days since Thony was in Manila, and yet they’re all acting like the meds have already reached the States or will be arriving at any moment, despite the fact that shipping something on a freighter from the Philippines to the US would take at least 3 weeks haha. Ah, TV magic. But ugh anyway who cares about that when Arman is so hot in this scene?? Firstly there’s his annoyance at this guy disrespecting him and trying to haggle with him– something I bet he would never have even dared to attempt in the pre-prison days– and then there’s his fury about the fact that by practically holding the container hostage, the man is endangering Luca. (Not to mention that any delay with getting the meds would mean that Thony would keep on believing that Arman can no longer be relied upon to protect Luca– I mean, not that she actually believes that, but Arman thinks she does). Honestly Arman is probably relieved to have the chance to let out his anger on someone (he could have literally just pulled his gun on the guy, but he chose to get physical haha), and unlike that asshole guy he beat for RK in 2x05, he’s doing this for himself. Ugh I have missed Big Bad Mob Boss* Arman (*with a secret heart of gold lol). I also love how useless the two musclemen were at protecting their boss haha. And then ugh his "nobody touches the cargo but me!"– he's really not taking any chances with Luca’s meds now ughhhh. I would die for him Your Honour
Nadia is crushing up pills in the bathroom and I am wheezing because a) our girl has clearly had some ~experience~ at this, which tbh is hardly surprising considering the type of party we first meet her at; and b) she’s literally got three tablets??? THREE. Three tablets of 250mcg of Digoxin (the dosage was on the bottle). That’s a total of 750 micrograms, aka LESS THAN A MILLIGRAM. For RK’s approximate weight, that’s literally considered a normal therapeutic dose. You know how much Digoxin it generally takes to create a severe acute toxic reaction? Usually more than TEN milligrams, but at the very least more than 5mg, unless someone has some pretty significant health issues and just happens to be having some REALLY shit luck that day. And as far as I could determine from his meds, the only thing RK was taking that has any potential to interact with the Digoxin would be the Benzos, but he takes a low dose and likely only uses them as needed, which means he probably hasn’t got any in his system currently. And hey, again, you know who would have known all this? THONYYYYY.  Like I’m sorry if I’m ruining the very serious moment of Nadia putting her would-be ‘murder weapon’ into her cleavage in a folded up $20 lol but I just can’t deal with any of this at all hahahahaa
Ooooh Thony meeting with Garrett in the carwash, so clandestine haha. And tbh I’m actually impressed that he manages not to immediately give away that he knows about Arman and Maya, and about Thony likely lying to him, especially when the first thing she does is ask him for yet another favour lol. But holy shit she just comes right out and says that Arman is planning to kill Kamdar? Ngl that caught me off guard (I want to google if it’s technically actually illegal to make plans to kill someone– like I assume so, depending on how detailed and feasible they are?– but I don’t want to bring the feds to my own doorstep by looking it up lol). But man it really shows that Thony has come to trust Garrett– lbr him protecting Chris would have gone a long way for that– but also that she took Nadia seriously when she said that Arman was in danger from RK. Bc consider Thony's line “Arman is planning on killing Kamdar, and I need you to protect him”. Garrett takes that to mean that she wants him to protect RK from Arman, which is partly true– until she has Luca’s meds, she does still need him– but I also think that when she says ‘I need you to protect him’, she also means Arman. He needs protection from himself– from taking part in a foolish plan that could easily get him sent to prison or killed– and he needs protection from RK’s men, who could also come for him before Arman even has a chance to act on his plan. And so she asks someone she trusts– a man who is literally a trained FBI agent, and who has already protected someone she loves– to keep an eye on Arman, and keep him away from RK. I can see how some fans would call this a betrayal of Arman, but I honestly don’t see it that way at all. I see it as Thony doing the only thing she can to protect both Luca (by preventing RK’s death and the loss of access to the meds) and Arman (by literally giving him his own bodyguard). Yes, this will screw over Arman’s plans, but that’s a price she’s willing to pay– and like I said last week regarding Arman choosing to protect himself and Thony by killing Kamdar even against her wishes, her stopping him is just the same– both are a situation of “I love you enough to do what needs to be done to save you, even if it makes you hate me”. Which is why Thony is doing what's necessary to protect Arman, even if it comes at the cost of damage to their relationship and the trust between them. After all, it keeps coming back to what he said to her in 1x01: “when it comes to keeping your son [aka the people you love] alive, it’s not about doing things the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can.”  
But man this ep really is aptly named, huh? Practically every scene explores the concept of trust– Thony wanting Arman to trust her judgement and not act on his plans. Arman wanting Thony to trust that he can and will protect Luca. Arman trusting Nadia to carry out this plan with him. Nadia trusting that his plan will work. Thony trusting Garrett to protect Arman (and him breaking that trust by almost murdering him). Garrett's trust in Thony being broken by her lying to him about Maya. Fi being forced to question her trust in Thony. Like damn writers, you’re really exploring human nature here aren’t you
Lol at first I thought all these texts were from Nadia to RK, and that he had actually stood her up bc he’d figured out their plan and had ditched their dinner to go abduct Arman again. But then I learned to read and saw that the texts were to Arman. Clearly something has held him up, since he said he was 10 minutes away and the tone of her texts suggests it’s been longer than that. Also sidenote, but on rewatching I noticed that right before the shot cuts to the next scene, you can see the actor who plays RK in the background, waiting just outside the door for his signal before he starts walking into the main club area lol 
Aaaand now we know why Arman is delayed haha. Fell for the old kidnapper-hiding-in-the-backseat trick huh? Though tbh given the size of that car I think it would be very hard to miss a six foot man scrunched up in the backseat lol. Guess Arman just had a lot of other stuff on his mind haha. But daaaamn Garrett this is definitely not what Thony meant when she said to keep Arman away from Kamdar! Tbh I don’t love that they clearly split the scene of Nadia in Fastlane and put this in the middle of it, because it throws the chronological order out of whack, but I guess it created more suspense this way or whatever lol. 
Apparently Nadia managed to get off a few more texts in the 10 or so seconds before RK crossed over to her from the doorway haha. Honestly though I think I’m becoming paranoid bc when he held out the gift box I was like IS IT GONNA HAVE SOME KIND OF PROOF IN THERE SHOWING HE KNOWS SHE’S PLANNING TO BETRAY HIM?? But then it was just a matching necklace, which then prompted the thought of ‘watch out it’s a listening device!!!!’ lol. God this show has me too on edge. Also lol RK is so goddamn Extra, like he wants to take her to Buenos Aires for sunrise?? Cool just a casual 14 hour flight in a tight dress lol. Though then again maybe his whole plan is to get her out of the dress for the flight haha. Love the ‘To our new beginning’ today bc from her it's  more like ‘to your end’ lol. Honestly I have so much respect for Nadia for what she does in this next scene; like not only does she stall him for an hour to give Arman time to show up, but then when he doesn’t come, she doesn’t abandon the mission?? She makes her own distraction and then actually goes for it and doses his drink??? Like firstly omggggg girl you are literally drugging someone in a crowded area where there are multiple potential witnesses, not to mention cameras, and also where Robert himself could turn around at any second and catch her in the act?? Tbh I am now headcanoning that Sophie the waitress did actually see her do it, bc she fills up the glass literally moments later, but since Nadia has always been nice to her and RK only pays her minimum wage, she’s like ‘eh not my problem’ lol. Women supporting women, amirite?? Ngl I would totally watch a Sophie POV series of all the drama she witnesses between RK, Nadia, Arman, and Thony lol. But anyway speaking of the champagne– even once the drug is in the glass, she has so little time for it all to dissolve away???? Like did she experiment beforehand and see how long it would take?? And what about the way the medication would change the taste??? God this plan is the worst and while I am so impressed by Nadia’s bravery and her taking that risk for Arman (well, and also for her inheritance, since it makes me feel more comfortable to think that she’s doing it for selfish reasons as well as for Arman lol), this whole situation still stresses me out far too much aaaaahhh
Oh man Garrett taking Arman to the dumping spot looks so disturbingly reminiscent of Arman killing the guy in 2x04 aaaaaah. But ugh the resignation on Arman’s face– lbr he’s been waiting for this moment. Whether it was Garrett, or RK, or someone else, he’s known that this day was coming for him; that after all he’s done, he’s been living on borrowed time. I just keep thinking of the Hamilton lyrics for him:  I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. Is this where it gets me, on my feet, several feet ahead of me? I see it coming, do I run or fire my gun or let it be?  But ugh even for all Garrett’s big talk (“do you think anyone would give a crap if your body was one of [the dumped corpses]?” like uh yeah buddy, Thony would sure as hell care) his gun isn’t steady and he’s clearly trying to work himself up to the idea of pulling the trigger. Also dude it annoys me so much that he says "What I really want is to know everything about the night that you put a bullet in Maya’s head" because she wasn’t shot in the head??? We clearly see (when her body is pulled out of the river) that Arman shot her in the chest. Which is also the place that makes the most sense??? It’s a bigger target, it’s quick and clean, and there’s just no way Arman would shoot an innocent woman in the head. Ugh c’mon writers, keep up lol. I thought maybe Garrett was trying to bait Arman into correcting him and revealing he did shoot her, but it didn’t really seem like that.  But sigh anyway. Clearly Garrett needed to get all of this stuff off his chest about Maya, and the kind of person she was, and how she’s dead because of Arman– but tbh I think Garrett is also saying it to himself a little, like reminding himself that if she’d never met him, she never would have ended up in that river.  I love that Garrett is the one to bring up Thony, showing that he knows what it means to Arman that Maya saved Thony from Cortes. Garrett knows what they are to each other, which is why when Arman turns and looks him in the eye and tells him (even though he knows that Garrett might have a recording device on him that's listening to every word) that he’d had to choose between Maya’s life or Thony’s, and that if Thony hadn’t been there, then things would have turned out differently– Garrett knows that he’s telling the truth. And even more than that, he knows the impossibility of the choice Arman was faced with, which is why he lowers the gun. He later says that he never would have done what Arman did and taken a life like that, but honestly I’m not so sure, and I don’t think he is either. He didn’t hesitate to kill Cortes when Maya was potentially in danger from him, and though killing an innocent would have been much harder for him, the whole point is that the ‘rat’ in the chair was going to die no matter what, so the choice was either to kill the rat and ensure the survival of the woman he loves, or to let all three of them be murdered for nothing. Faced with that situation, I’m certain Garrett would have pulled the trigger too.
Also dude I would have loved to see what the drive back to the gas station was like, the two of them sitting silently next to each other, both dwelling on their own grim thoughts? And then ugh when Garrett tells Arman that the second he's is no longer useful to him, he will bury him? That was hot tbh. Honestly I am living for the connection developing between these two, these former-nemeses-turned-reluctant-allies, and I can’t wait to see more of them. Their relationship is so fascinating because there is so much tension and resentment and anger but there’s also a grudging respect and regard, at least from Arman’s side (because of everything that Garrett has done for Thony) as well as remorse from Arman about his role in Garrett losing the woman he loves. Ngl I dream of a S3 where Arman and Thony are badass mob bosses of their medication import business (Nadia is happily elsewhere being queen of La Habana and Fastlane, being fawned over by men and women alike) and Armony have their morally dubious FBI buddy who they feed info to about bad guys and help him put them away behind bars. Please give it to me writers, I’d do anythiiinggggg  
Okay excuse me show, you cannot just put the Armony theme music over a scene with Fi and Luca??? Firstly Luca has his own damn theme music, and secondly, don’t you know I have a very strong Pavlovian response to this specific melody lol?? That was just cruel lol
Anyway ughhhhh J-Fi are so cute with their flirting over the phone and her giddy little face, she’s like a schoolgirl with a crush omg I love themmmm
Ok honestly, I just really don’t understand how people are hating on Thony for this ep. Like she finds out Arman’s plan, and then literally the moment she is done with the procedure that Luca needs to stay alive, she leaves him with Fi while she goes to La Habana to try to talk to Arman and keep him from putting both himself and Luca in danger. But instead she finds Nadia, so she begs her to stop the plan. Then she goes straight to the one person she knows who has the best chance of keeping Arman safe, and begs him to help. And then later she literally goes to RK himself to try to convince him of how beneficial it would be to have Arman working with her on the medication importing operation, how she needs an asset like him. Like guys the woman literally left her critically ill child at home and spent the day running all over town trying to protect Arman (and ok yes, protecting Luca’s meds too, but it was never just about that). And then ugh at Fastlane when RK tries to get threatening, asking her if she’s telling him how to run his business, she stands her ground and tells him that her and Arman running the meds operation together for him was what they had all agreed to in the first place, and ugh just look at these two brave women both trying to protect Arman from RK?? Albeit going about it in very different (and somewhat conflicting) ways lol. I do kind of love that RK genuinely seems to think highly of Thony and her Badass Mob Boss potential, and wants to see her free herself from Arman, who he clearly considers to be purely dead weight. Like aw that’s nice that he’s been drinking his Respect Women (And Their Right To Do Crime) Juice lately, but shame that it comes with the side effect of hating Arman even more for the fact that he is valued and desired by these amazing women lol
So I hope you didn’t think I was done with my medical ranting because hoooooooooooo boyyyyyy I am not even CLOSE haha. Like honestly I was just going to let all of the medical stuff in this ep slide and not say anything, bc it’s TV and inaccuracies are just an inherent aspect of that, but @enigmaticfox (the little devil on my shoulder that she is) told me to go for it, and so now you must all suffer with me haha. So where to begin?? Maybe with the fact that acute digoxin toxicity is most likely to take around 2 hours post ingestion to actually start showing symptoms? Or that it is far more likely to present with vomiting and abdominal pain than sudden cardiac arrest? And oh boy I could definitely say many many things about Thony’s CPR lol, but instead I will be generous and admit that it can’t be all that easy to simulate true CPR on TV (though I have certainly seen it done much better than this on other shows haha). But I will NOT be generous about the whole "we don’t know what meds he’s on, so shocking him could kill him" nonsense lol. Important PSA to anyone reading this: if you see someone collapse from what seems to be a heart attack, and there’s a defibrillator nearby, please for the love of god put the defibrillator on them. It will literally TELL you whether their heart is in a rhythm that can be shocked or not. (And honestly even if it’s not, as long as they’re not breathing and don’t have a pulse, getting shocked anyway won’t actually hurt them– it just won’t help fix the problem at all, and will delay you resuming CPR for no reason which is definitely not what we want). So basically they 100% should have at the very least put the defibrillator pads on and checked the rhythm– and in fact, the two main cardiac-arrest rhythms caused by Dig toxicity are VF and VT, which are both shockable. But I guess the writers wanted to make it clear that without Thony there, Arman's plan would have likely succeeded and RK would have died; and that because of her choice to take actions to save his life, she indirectly condemned Arman. But dude, it just ain't that simple. Firstly, if Thony did nothing and then RK miraculously somehow survived anyway, he would definitely have her killed for not trying to save him. And though she knows that saving him means he remains a threat to Arman, he won’t be able to come after Arman immediately, meaning there’s time for her and Arman to figure out a way to get him to safety, like asking Garrett to get him put in WitSec. And maybe she’s hoping that by saving his life, RK will feel indebted to her, and will give her whatever she wants in return– which, of course, would be him sparing Arman.
But anyway, back to complaining lol. She tells the paramedics that RK is bradycardic, which literally just means that his heart is beating slowly, but she could have only known that by having felt his pulse– and if someone has a pulse, then they are not in cardiac arrest, and they don’t need CPR lol.  And her telling the medics that they need an EKG makes me feel so much secondhand embarrassment, bc like dude. They know. This is literally something they deal with almost daily in their job. But then lolllll they don’t even take his shirt off and they put on like 2 leads instead of 10 and no one asks for or gives any history of what happened or any details about RK, and someone is giving him oxygen without even holding the mask to his face (meaning the O2 is all just leaking out around the mask rather than going into his lungs) . And then Thony recognises from the EKG that he might be hyperkalaemic (have a dangerously high potassium level, which to be fair does happen with Dig toxicity) and tells them to treat it by giving dextrose– except she doesn’t mention insulin which is the other very essential part of that treatment (as in, the dextrose is useless without it), and she also mentions calcium gluconate which should actually be calcium chloride which is more appropriate in cardiac arrest. Plus these are treatments which generally happen in the emergency room, not with paramedics. Also she says that the EKG shows peaked T waves and widened QRS’s, but the actual rhythm visible on the screen (while definitely slow) actually shows normal T’s and QRS’s. And also she stops CPR because they apparently ‘got a rhythm’, and gives instructions to not shock him ‘if his heart stops again’ (which, again, is bullshit) but then she tells the medic to carry on CPR??? Girl you have literally just proved he’s not in arrest????????????  This is honestly so painful haha. And omg the way the medic acts like such a robot in following her orders, like he would have had no idea what to do otherwise? Gah. Honestly even as a doctor with emergency training I would not be giving the paramedics orders??? I would be discussing my concerns with them but I would be trusting them to do their jobs??? They literally have protocols upon protocols for this shit man. But ugh. Anyway. Nadia congratulating Thony on just killing Arman was kinda funny bc she’s clearly forgetting that now she is in danger too as his accomplice– so technically, Thony may have just gotten both of them killed. Well, they got themselves into that situation so we can’t really blame Thony tbh lol. But aaaanyway I apologise for all of that, but I guess I just have a lot of Opinions haha?  (/EndRant)
Sigh it’s a relief to see Luca looking better. And I appreciate that Fi actually checks in with Thony about how she’s doing; I feel like her own wellbeing gets overlooked a lot, except (for the most part at least) by Arman. And ugh she admits to Fi about having to make a difficult choice today which may have endangered Arman, and you can see how much it weighs on her. Fi immediately reassures her about Arman seeming to be able to take care of himself, which is a very valid point tbh. He’s a grown man who has lived in a very dangerous world for the last two decades; he’s no stranger to his life being at risk. Still, I think Thony would have trouble accepting that argument bc as we have already seen over the past 2 seasons, she’s very protective of Arman and worries about him at the best of times, let alone when his life is being threatened by someone like RK. She breaks it down so clearly though when she says that the decision today involved her being asked to choose Arman over Luca– because for her the situation was that simple. Letting Arman kill Kamdar to protect himself would risk losing access to Luca’s meds, which Luca would almost certainly die without; and so of course she had to choose her son– who has been her entire world for over six years– over a man who she loves, but who has only been in her life for literally about 4 months, and she honestly doesn’t even know if he will choose to stay in her life. To be totally honest, I think that just the simple fact that the decision was genuinely difficult for her to make– not in terms of knowing her choice, but in terms of acting on it, knowing the potential consequences it would have for Arman– is incredible, and shows just how deeply she cares for Arman. But lbr I’d be very concerned about any parent who did put their romantic kind-of-partner above the life of their child– like if Fi or JD had to choose between saving each other or saving Jazz, both of them would pick Jazz without hesitation, because they’re her parents. It kind of comes with the territory???
Anyway speaking of JD, he appears and is not at all happy about being manhandled by Mr Big, Bald, and Brawny. Tbh though I kind of love this bodyguard guy? Like every time he speaks you just know that there are no thoughts going on in that big bald head. He’s clearly a former boxer based on his cauliflower ears, and tbh it looks like he got just a few too many concussions lol. Honestly I would love for him to start feeling a sense of respect and regard towards Thony somehow (like maybe she helps him with a medical issue or something) and he becomes like a big ol’ loyal dog following her around haha. But anyway ooooh I kind of like that JD calls Thony out on things? I think having someone force her to look at herself and her actions is important to make sure she doesn’t disappear too far down the rabbit hole. Though it does kinda suck that he’s (very fairly) forcing Fi to be torn between Thony and the kids… but I mean, like I literally just said, she’s going to have to choose the kids, just like Thony would. But ugh when she tells Thony about the ultimatum he gave her… Thony looks so sad, because though she knows what the right choice is and will support Fi in making it, she knows it means that she will lose her entire family and be alone with just Luca once again. Tbh I’m just the tiniest bit happy that she is the one on the receiving end of this decision this time, because it might give her a sense of how it felt for Arman, and might make her be more open with him about why she did what she did and how much she wished she hadn’t had to make that decision. Ngl I have already drafted a fic where Arman turns up at her house after the events of the ep and they actually finally talk it all out and maybe also make out lol
“I’ve never had an issue with my heart” Hmmmmm are you sure you even have one, Robert?? Lol. But seriously though, one of the pills in his drawer was a ‘blood thinner’ and so that literally means that he has to have something wrong with his heart– or if not that, then a problem with blood clots, and those can obviously also lead to cardiac arrest as well anyway. So really this heart attack shouldn’t have been that much of a shock. “They checked your blood for toxins” lol like what? What funky tests are these guys running? Though to be fair, if they do take his request to test for ‘everything’ seriously, then Nadia is in deep shit because our genius boy Arman picked one of the few meds that we actually have a blood test for. And which can also cause a very distinctive waveform pattern on the EKG as well. Like siiiighhhhh have I mentioned yet how stupid this plan was???
Anyway oh mannnnn I cannot say how much I enjoyed this ep (even despite the medical ridiculousness) because holy shit literally every interaction between the characters was so good and all of them took actions that were so completely in character and ugh I am just so excited to see what happens tomorrow aaaaaahhhh
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strawberryseeded · 1 year
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ok more thoughts (tbh just typing out stuff until it makes sense) abt the wwdits finale cos i was kind of out of it/frustrated whn i made the last post lol ^^;
literally everything, EVERYTHING until now indicated that nandor didnt give a fuck about guillermo and he was gonna 100% kill him, actually, literally, for having another vampire turn him, since this is a HUGE disrespect towards him in the vampire world. and ill be honest we as the audience kind of know already that nandor does care abt guillermo... but we also know that nandor isnt really aware of this, and thats hes pretty selfish and proud (and also an idiot). so yeah, hes very well capable of killing guillermo tbh!! but he doesnt!!!!
instead, he tells guillermo hes too important for him to do that, and that hell be sad if he dies! AND he even helps him turn completely by giving him human blood. unusually quick to catch on to what the problem was, i might add. as if he had taken guillermo's vampire hunter's blood and how it would affect turning him into consideration before. AND when he realizes that guillermo is unhappy he not only -as i said before- is the 1st one to notice, but he IMMEDIATLY cooks up a plan to help him revert the process. a GOOD one (wtf) and again, very quickly too, as if he was expecting this turn of events. HECK HE EVEN SAYS THAT EXACTLY he says that he suspected/feared that guillermo wasnt 'cut out' to be a vampire, which i think is something that has come up before in the show but in context im sure we all brushed off as a mere excuse for not turning him, since thats just the reality for familiars in this universe.
in the end, they go back to how things were b4 guillermo was bitten. everything goes back to normal… right? right, except we as the audience have a different perspective on things.
again, we kind of knew that the vampire clique(?) uh yea idk sorry im calling them that rn lol) kinda, sorta, cares about guillermo. maybe. well, now its... somewhat? confirmed, via the guide subplot that vamps are assholes to others bc they just hv a vampire way of expressing things. then again, this whole thing was towards another vampire, and until the last episode they dont see guillermo as a (true) vampire.
so like okay whats these two (guillermo and nandor)'s deal then
ok so this is the first time i actually think abt this sorry im slow lol.. until now ive been just seeing things unfold and just kind of paying attention to some details or other's ppls opinions. BUT NOW(?) i can actually SEE (kinda) whats goin on !!!!! i have some Personal Opinions & Feelings after the s5 finale
clearly theres the plot embryo structure at play here, and i think i now understand guillermo's arc a lot better.
theres something he wants, somethings he's always wanted: to become a vampire. for some LONG 4ss time now hes been very frustrated bc his master doesnt seem to have plans for turning him any time soon. hes growing anxious bc of this but we know thats not the only reason; he clearly thinks the vampires in the house dont value him, dont see him as an equal. he thinks nandor doesnt care about him. and hes not entirely wrong, tbh.
the "final" decision to ask derek to turn him comes from mostly these feelings of being inadequate, of feeling like hes the only one who actually cares (about guillermo himself. about what he wants. about him and nandor's apparently dead end relationship)
so he gets sick of waiting, and he just goes to get what he always wanted by his own means.
and regrets it completely. so much so that at the end he makes the decision to turn back.
so... what it is what he truly wants, then? or, better yet, what does he need? his true wish. why did he want to become a vampire this whole time? what is he after?
in the last ep is also revealed that (apparently?? idk im gonna need a bit more context) its guillermo who choose nandor as his master. or at least, he genuinely thought nandor was a really good choice. the best even. he admires him, wants to be like him. wants to be near him.
guillermo probably admires the vampire's lifestyle more than being a vampire itself. he has a very supportive family but they are also... vampire hunters, so its clear they dont like vampires, and probably disagree with their lifestyle for that same reason, which obviously ties together with it being a religious family and also the fact that guillermo's sexuality is pretty obviously closeted.
ok im gonna leave it there i think the conclusion its p obvious at this point
but what about nandor??? welllll ok i think i got it but lemme try to figure it out entirely?
i think nandor's most important arc until now was... kind of the opposite but also the same as guillermo's. he tried to become human.
the reason he did this was bc he felt lonely as a vampire. yea being a vampire is cool as fuck but its kind of isolating in a way too when youve got no one to share it with. im not gonna go super in depth talking abt this bc 1) i saw this season whn it came out n havnt rewatched it since n dont wanna misquote anything -.-;; and 2) i think the meaning its also pretty self explainatory. im literally describing it and you can already tell what everything means. of course its guillermo who goes to get nandor back to tell him that thats not who he is.
ok moving on. nandor is p much still alone in the romantic/lifetime partner sense. he alredy tried changing who he is to get a partner (or at least, to have a place where he doesnt feel as lonely) and that didnt make him happy. NEXT, with the help of the genie (sorry idk if thats how u write it eng is not my 1st lang im lazy etc) he tried, on the contrary, to change all his partnerts to the point they werent themselves anymore to accomodate his needs and whims. he tried to find the "perfect" partner, one that did everything he wanted, exactly. well, surprise, that didnt work out either. that didnt make him (or anyone) happy.
at this point i think its p obvious that he needs to compromise with other people. hes too self absorbed, too focused on what he wants as an end goal and doesnt truly see who his partners are as people. for him, they just serve as a role, they just exist to feel this void he has, this loneliness.
woooow guillermo's and nandor's issues are way more similar than what i thought!!!!!!!!!!!wooooooooooow using my brain worked u guysss ^^
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hyperfix8ed · 2 years
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and if your life won’t wait: spoiler free 2022 update
hello dear readers. if ur here from my fic welcome. if u just follow my blog, sorry. also, go read my fic.
okay, a… lot has changed since i started this thing. moment of silence for all cis tua writers with unfinished works from before season 3. im literally a trans man and had no idea how to handle this. im also completely disconnected from the fandom and i have no idea how other people have been doing it lol. anyway.
in regards to my fic, season three changed three big things for me. 1). viktor 2). klaus’ reincarnation powers are more fleshed out and canonical 3). my perceptions of the characters
viktor’s whole deal is probably the most relevant, so ill start there. when i started this fic, i had absolutely zero idea that elliot page would come out as trans, and subsequently his character would change as well. so the first ~5 chapters make absolutely zero mention to him being trans. the way i saw it, going forward i had two options. control f and retrospectively make him both trans and transitioned (which i honestly think is not only a valid option but one that i lowkey wish id done, way fucking easier) or rework his planned story arc around gender identity.
look. i said it already. im trans. i was deeply attached to viktor BEFORE he came out. he’s my guy. i have to write a coming of age trans story for him, even if that means dead naming him for a few chapters while we get there. he’ll be okay. he’s fictional. he’s figuring it out. this is a story about learning to let your family be in your life in a meaningful way so you can actually be happy. in the context of the fic, he also just watched his brother die and come back to life, so he’s a little preoccupied. don’t worry though, if there’s one thing you can count on the hargreeves to do, it’s prioritize their own personal drama in the midst of extremely important things happening around them.
i don’t write shitty endings for trans people. he’s going to have his little moment where he triumphantly cuts his hair and wears a too big button down with all the confidence of a seventeen year old freshly off their meds. i love him. please trust me. ive made the decision that the story i want to tell involves him not figuring things out for a little while, but he will figure them out. worry not. i came up with an incredibly convoluted excuse to get him pamphlets from an lgbtq resource center. you’ll see.
as for klaus… keep in mind reading these first few chapters that i was working with the knowledge of the first two seasons. that’s the knowledge with which i built this worlds life and death system. season three didn’t change too much, except canonize klaus’ ability to come back to life, and confirm that reginald did know about this ability and tested it in him, aka killed him over and over again until he was satisfied, and then klaus repressed the whole thing. tua plays pretty fast and loose with ghost rules, so i pretty much ignore all that to do whatever the shit i want, but this was really important to the plot, so i had to make a decision about whether or not i was including it.
there’s a bit of a mystery element that comes in down the line pertaining to reginald’s role in the story, so i wont say too much, but i did want to address it! just know that yes, i do understand the worlds death rules, i promise. this fic’s premise is basically taking their dumb death rules and throwing them out the window so that i can tell a story about family bonding. however, im really proud of the direction the story ended up going in light of the new season, and im excited to share it with you.
the third thing is characterization. now, this could be its own post, so ill keep it brief, but to me season three proved a few very important things about the hargreeves. they’re mean as fuck, irredeemably stupid, and love each other almost as much as they love their own respective attachment issues. they are a mess. im fucking obsessed with them. they love each other, and are incapable of being normal about it. it’s perfect.
a few important things to note:
- ben is as much of an asshole as the rest of them! confirmed!!! he may have been the nicest of them, but they’re all terrible, he’s just a little less terrible! big win for the ben is a dick community (population: me and klaus)
- as kids, allison was nicer to viktor then anyone. allison was NICER. TO VIKTOR. THEN ANYONE. that is such a wonderful revelation to me. i always interpreted their relationship as more like allison was trying to make amends and knew she had to make amends with viktor specifically, but no! allison was nice to viktor!! nicer. then ANYONE. i could talk ab s3 allison for a million years. she might be a little irredeemable. but i love her. and this fic and every fic forever will be allison friendly
- mostly just a gentle reminder that i am not writing about bitter thirty year olds carrying around decades of trauma and horror. i am writing about fresh faced seventeen year olds who have never had a brother like, actually die, never spent years on the street or on the moon or completely alone or getting into fights or watching their brother slowly kill himself or being an a list celebrity. they have the potential to be those bitter assholes, they really do, but for now, they’re kids. i want to write kids. the world is so bad. i want to write a coming of age where kids having their family with them gives them a happy ending. this is what i want and i will not give this up for any reason.
thank you for reading, sorry it’s a monstrosity of a post <3
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mccoyyy · 4 years
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Bring historical accuracy to Carlisle's early life, pretty please 🥰
absolutely (and thank you @pandabooraccoon and the other two anons who asked something similar to this too I love you so much). I'm putting this under a read more cause, yeah
ok, to start of with I am nowhere near an expert, but this time period in history really fascinates me cause there was so much going on. 
so Carlisle was born in 1640′s London, and at the time there was a shit tonne of religious and political upheaval going on. You had the Union of Crowns, disagreements over the Church systems, covenanting, Civil War and Cromwell, Executions and the removal and restoration of the Monarchy. Shit was mad. But I’m gonna start with Carlisle’s dad (I’m going to call him Abraham but full credit for that one goes to @panlight​) cause I have so many thoughts
Abraham was a pastor in 1640. He most likely started working when he was breached and then took over as Pastor (Preacher) after his dad died. I’m going to say he was born around 1620, married in 1639ish and then Carlisle was born a year later. So he would be what, 20 when Carlisle was born. 
First of the bat, there is no way that Abraham would still be alive and kicking when Carlisle was 23. The life expectancy back then was just under 40, so a 43 year old Abraham cutting about burning witches (and we’ll get to that in just a moment) just isn’t realistic but neither are vampires so oh well. In terms of religion if were being historically accurate, then Abraham would have most likely been an Anglican pastor as that was the dominant form of church in England at the time and he would have been fucked up by the mob/church/general public/all of the above for being anything else
However, it gets sticky when you bring in the idea of Puritanism. I firmly believe that Abraham would have loved Cromwell and puritanism (cause I like to headcanon him as an utter dick) but if were doing that then it creates a problem. If Abe was a devout Protestant Anglican, he would have believed in the divine right of kings (a monarch has no authority other than the word of god and therefore doesn't need to listen to anyone else) and therefore seen Charles I as the mouth of God, and had issues with the whole execution thing, so if Abe was a Puritan, then he would probably have to be a Presbyterian (dominant form of church in Scotland and also the parliamentarians) but again, this causes problems cause no one really liked Presbyterianism (understatement). It’s possible that he could have been influenced by Cromwell and switched from Anglicanism but religion back then was very different to what it was now, it took a lot to get people to change their ideas over faith (see the plague) so I’m gonna go out on a limb and blame Charles I who first started to undermine parliament and try to start Absolutism which lead Abe to change his loyalties. Either that or he supported Cromwell’s agenda but didn’t agree with execution which is the most likely option tbh.
With Abraham out of the way, we can now move on to our boy. Carlisle, the son of a pastor in 1640, there is no fucking way that this dude didn’t know the year/date he was born. Know why? cause dates were recorded by none other than the fucking church. aka his father. Carlisle is just bad with dates but that's ok buddy i guess that happens when your like 300. Secondly, his dad wouldn’t have raised him. It would have been left up to his mum, but cause she wasn't around he would have been raised by a wet nurse until he was breeched and entered the adult world at the ripe and grown up age of six (at least I think but I’m not 100% sure) when he would have started helping his father with sermons, and received an education of some form (probably a clerics education). Either way, he would have been helping his father at a very young age and exposed to so much shit
Back to Abraham for a wee second. Smeyer writes that he hunted down and burned vampires but again, this isn’t likely. Vampire hunters did exist but not in London. They were most common in Bulgarian/Serbian beliefs and even then they were very different to the modern idea of vampire hunters. And secondly, they wouldn’t have been burned! pyres weren’t used in the 1600s and instead would probably have been killed through hangings, torture or trials to determine whether they were a witch or not. So the good news is, Carlisle didn’t have to watch women being burned alive from the age of like six, he would only have to watch women being drowned, tortured, disembowelled, branded and hanged! and not just women accused of being witches, but most likely Catholics too!
We don’t know much about Carlisle’s life from his birth to his ‘death’, so I’m gonna take creative liberty and make some stuff up. London in the 1640s was utterly awful. It was dark, bleak, and really smelly. He was pretty lucky in terms of the plague cause the only major outbreaks occurred just before him and just after him (1603, 25 and 65) but there would have been the odd outbreak. I like to believe that Carlisle was an argumentative little shit and from the age of like 10 argued with his dad about literally everything. Canon says that Carlisle didn’t agree with his fathers particular brand of faith, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that whilst he was still a protestant, and most likely Anglican, he probably followed an early form of religious tolerance at the least. Lutheranism didn’t reach England until around the enlightenment so I don't want to call him that but it was in existence in Germany at the same time so others had probably moved towards it a little, it just didn't have a name. His tolerance probably came from watching his father punish Catholics from the age of six, and their main argument as he got older was probably regarding tolerance of Catholicism. As much as I hate to say it, its low key unrealistic that Carlisle wasn’t married as a human so that would probably have been another point of contest between Carlisle and Abraham.
During Cromwell’s puritan reign was the most prominent witch-hunting years too, so if were being really nit-picky then Abraham would probably have only started hunting witches or at least started doing it a lot more frequently than he previously did round about here.
Cromwell died in 1658, and the monarchy was restored in England in 1660, but Carlisle’s dad most likely still followed puritan ideals and was not happy with the restoration period, and again, the revival of Christmas, theatre and fun was something that 20 year old Carlisle and Abraham would have disagreed over. Carlisle would have taken over a lot of his fathers duties round about this time, leading sermons and all that because Abraham should have been dead by now so I guess smeyer can have that one.
And now we get up to our boy’s final years. And this is like shooting still targets. Carlisle was hunting vampires in London sewers when he got bit, and then crawled into a potato cellar where he writhed in agony for 3-4 days. Firstly, sewers. The London sewage system wasn’t built for one or two hundred years. London was so fucking smelly. Like so much so that if it was sunny the house of commons/Westminster had to be evacuated cause the (literal) shite in the Thames would have warmed up and became especially pungent, and it was only when it started to affect MP’s that they though that maybe they should do something about it (which is probably another reason that super-senses-vampire Carlisle boosted to France as soon as possible). So he wouldn’t have been fighting vampires in sewage systems, but instead an alley, slums, or even along or near the Thames if you want to keep the sewage aspect. 
After being bitten, it would have been pretty difficult for Carlisle to drag himself into a potato cellar because he’d be crawling for quite some time. Potatoes didn't become a staple crop in society for quite a while. They were about and people ate them, but were largely seen as food for the lower classes in society, and there certainly wouldn't have been cellars filled with them.
Also just as a little end note, plague devastated London 5 years after he was turned so literally my favourite headcanon to give Carlisle is that he blamed the outbreak on himself. Yes, he may have went along with the miasmic theory that Plague was caused by bad air instead of his fathers ‘divine punishment’ theories, but there’s nothing like a good bit of puritan guilt am I right? seeing and maybe helping with the plague (masks and so many herbs stuffed inside them would have blocked the smell of blood) is also what I like to think made Carlisle want to go into medicine.
And there you have it. A (sort of) accurate version of Carlisle’s and Abraham’s life. and again, disclaimer, I am nowhere near an expert, so there might be inaccuracies and mistakes here. But basically, smeyer please. Google is free. 
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garlique · 4 years
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today seems like it is going to b a good spoons day i woke up went and got blood drawn and then got breakfast, got covid tested, AND got my flu shot all before 11. i think the new meds placebo hit today lmao
tw for panic attacks and alcohol in the tags!!
#of course tonight i will be DRINKING which is v exciting hehe#but literally i have ONE class meeting left it's at 2:30 i have one thing due for it that's like 80% done#and then the only thing i have to do for finals is prep for a 20 minute oral final exam and then edit my mus final based on the peer review#so YES i am getting blasted i have come up with a foolproof plan to get as drunk as possible without vomming again lol#every time i take a shot it will be a double except the other shot is gonna b lemonade#and i will simply measure the shots with my heart#and so i shall simply get absolutely blasted hehe#but before that caitlin n i r making grace dinner to try to make up for david having to leave it will not b good but we r making raviolis#so for that it is also good im having a good spoons day so i can cook plus i need to do the dishes before that so good spoons day VERY good#it's s weird because i had a debilitating panic attack last night like lasted for over an hour typa bad#on a whole other note i DID make the conscious decision to let grace like help me last night which i feel like weirdly ok about#i dont like asking for help when im in like Crisis crisis because i always feel bad and that is of course my mother's fault but i won't#get into that rn#and so every time i feel a panic attack/meltdown coming on in front of other people i try to immediately excuse myself#and last night i debated for like a minute between leaving and letting grace help me and i like did decide to let her help#which was probably for the best but that was also SUCH a bad one#like she saw me have one over my computer breaking but this was bad. i kinda wanna ask what it looked like from the outside lmao#SCREEM ok wait now i feel bad abt it because i just remembered IM supposed to be HER emotional support housemate rn lmao#anyway yea yea yea it's weird im doing so well today considering how bad i was doing last night#ive been bouncing back from things suspiciously quickly lately honestly. like am i like?? coping??? mmm anyway
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Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1
🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶
Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??
Yes.
Wushanju Crew Chat
Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.
Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS
Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.
Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES
Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol
What glittery bead curtain
Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.
What could this mean?
Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?
Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES
Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat
Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU
I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS
BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING
GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS
PANIC AT THE DISCO
Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.
Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.
Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT
SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?
Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES
BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.
Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop
Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.
Wang Pangzi: LOL
Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?
Zhang Qiling: No.
Wu Xie: okay who’s next
Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN
REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)
Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?
Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.
Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS
BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL
ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS
Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted
Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL
Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off
Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year
He and I go way back
Zhang Qiling: Way back where?
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT
IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS
YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM
Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.
Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY
LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE
Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.
Main Chat
Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival
Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that
Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.
Re: the trip
He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju
Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital
And frankly the hospital hates him too
Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL
I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT
A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE
WOULDNT YOU SAY
XIOAGE
Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?
Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?
Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.
ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED
Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?
Li Cu: uh nope
Unless u count the outdated memes
Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing
Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet
Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really
(I mean maybe? but who knows)
Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age
Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age
Wu Xie: …hey:(
Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.
Wu Xie: ????????
Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck
Unknown Number: …close enough.
Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that
Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck
Are you
Li Cu is underage FYI
So Im staying on this chat
Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that
Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g
u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember
And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat
we have been discussing u
Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!
What a surprise:)
hi so nice to meet you:)
Main Chat:
Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT
FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT
IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS
Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?
Not my problem? Good.
Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU
HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH
IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE
Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance
has he been collecting on two allowances??
Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?
Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.
Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?
Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)
Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.
another dangerous adventure. again. prick.
Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago
Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago
Li Cu: That isn’t funny.
Unknown Number: …What?
Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.
…I use humor as a coping mechanism?
Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?
Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means
He doesn’t cope, like ever
In fact
It’s kind of why we met
Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh
Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao
Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?
Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why
Main Chat
Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv
Who do we know who spends time in jail
Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process
Also how’s the curtain case coming along
Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?
Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure
Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH
Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat
Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit
u are sus as hell
Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night
I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles
Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved
Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.
Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha
Forget i said anything
Delete this chat even
Li Cu: shit I meant
Legally, biologically, I meant—
shit
…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?
Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!
Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here
lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e
Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff
Wu Xie: uh…okay.
Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail
As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less
I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”
Well maybe the sand
that shit was everywhere
Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
Li Cu: no, no it’s just
I do technically have a dad
who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.
So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there
Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh
Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right
Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that
Li Cu: ew tmi
Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery
I moved my stuff here, I live here now
So you can’t die anymore
Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned
anyways abt the curtain
Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea
I am in tears.
Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here
Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb
Go hug Pangzi or something
Maybe delete this chat
Or the curtain thing
Focus on the curtain thing
Just stfu and go away
Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3
Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.
Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything
Main Chat
Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*
Wang Pangzi: I MEAN
HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH
BUT SURE
CUTE I GUESS
Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)
Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.
Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE
NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN
DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID
Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid
Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?
Wu Xie: right
Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH
Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.
Unnamed Chat:
Unknown number: so the curtain…
Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know
Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive
Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out
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