#ive met so many people that hate her like HOW

[demadogs]

Nancy Wheeler: certified badass

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

[munamania]

ok. so she stayed over until like. 6am. and this is so hard because well i do like her sooo much and we hung out for like. 9 hours. and obviously i can be so normal about that but it’s like. i feel like. i know im meant to know her. but dear god why did it have to be in this capacity. im gonna go insane

[odysseys-blood]

i think adults that talk shit about children loud enough for them to hear should die actually

[sunghoonnsupremacy]

hey, i just wonder if you'll be able to write something like "enhas reactions when their chubby gf is insecure about her body" cause im that gf and i feel terrible today? sorry if its too much ❤️ love your works

ANGEL BABY<3

idk if you wanted this to be nsfw or fluff so i just made it nsfw for heeseung and sunghoon<3 ty for the ask annonie!! hope you feel better soon♥︎

ot7!enhypen when their gf is insecure about her body.

warnings : smut in heeseungs, sunghoons is suggestive, mentions of pregnancy, the rest is just really fluffy and cute.

words : 762

heeseung : is the sweetest bf ever. showers you with kisses and love the whole day when he hears you talk badly about yourself. "baby, you're the most perfect girl to exist. i love you and that's all that matters, yeah? just look at how pretty you look. gonna look so fucking hot with a pregnant belly when i knock you up. " he tilts your head towards the mirror where you whimper at his hips snapping against yours at a fast pace. aftercare with him is even sweeter, you feel loved and appreciated just by his words.

jay : buys you so many gifts and cuddles with you all day. he hates seeing you upset about something that's not a problem in any way so he cancels all of his plans and never leaves your side until you start to feel better. he kisses every inch and curve of your body with sweet pecks to show how much he loves you. "my beautiful beautiful girl, please don't let your insecurities get into your head sweetheart. there's no such thing as a perfect figure. its all just said to made people feel bad about themselves. i love you so much and im here to protect you from feeling that way, remember that. "

jake : his eyes widen from confusion when you ask him if he still finds you attractive, hence you gaining weight since the first time you met eachother. he immediately says yes and cups your face to passionately kiss you. "i have never stopped finding you attractive, and i never will. even when we're old and crusty, you're forever my beautiful girl and that'll never change. get those nasty thoughts out of your hear , yeah pretty? i love you."

sunghoon : the moment you pout at yourself in the mirror and say you're starting to gain weight, calling yourself ugly he doesn't hesitate to slam you against the wall and kiss you roughly. his fingers quickly unbutton your blouse and run up and down your torso. "don't say that shit again. " he presses a sloppy kiss to your chest and gropes your boobs. you whine in response at his passive aggressiveness but lean your head back at his hands sliding your skirt down. sunghoon gets down on his knees and looks up at you with a possessive glint in his eyes. "let me make you feel better, hm?"

sunoo : you furrow your eyebrows at the pillow thats been thrown at your face and your boyfriend sunoo rushing over to you. "what do you mean you think you look ugly? y/n you're the prettiest girl ive ever seen. " he pouts and pats his thighs, signalling you to sit on his lap. sunoo sighs and pulls you into a hug with a kiss on the neck. "i get how you feel. but i need you to know no matter what changes in your appearance my feelings will never change. keep those ugly words out of that pretty mouth."  he grips you tighter and already helps you feel better. the two of you spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed together.

jungwon : he doesn't even react verbally, just kisses you softly. there's no need for words to be exchanged when you look into his eyes and see the glint of love in his stare. when tears start to fall from your eyes, he hugs you tightly. "it's okay princess, let it out. " he lets you cry on his shoulder and fall asleep since you're already in bed. as much as he hates to see you cry, he's aware that letting our your emotions will probably help you. don't worry. after a cuddle session, he takes you out for dinner at your favorite restaurant and buys you plushies.

niki : you two were hanging out with your friends when suddenly one of them made a joking comment about your weight. you didn't laugh, neither did niki. you're both aware of the fact you've been pretty insecure these past few days which is why he makes the friend repeat themselves when he suddenly throws a punch at their face. you gasp and stand up in shock. its pretty obvious niki didn't find it funny or amusing when he grips your wrist and takes you away from the hangout spot. he takes you to a secluded area and kisses you softly. "why'd you punch him niki..?" you whisper and he scoffs. "you know why. " he kisses you again before walking you home and playing video games with you until late at night to distract you from todays earlier events.

[zeldasnotes]

LILITH NOTES PART. 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

These are my personal observations and not facts!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more posts about Lilith and other asteroids.

•Barack Obama got Lilith conjunct Mercury 0° orb and he is so incredibly funny and videos of his speeches always go viral and leaves people in shock (in a positive way). The way he introduced himself as ”Michelles husband”. I think Lilith conjunct Mercury is a sign of high intelligence and people reacting strongly to what you say.

•People with Lilith in hard aspect to Sun can get into a lot of conflicts in their lifes because they feel a strong need to express their honest feelings. Its a part of who they are and they wont back down.

•Lilith trine/sextile Mars makes someone very strategic.

•People with conjunctions/squares to Lilith might become mean at one point in their life because people always saw them as bad anyways so why not? People are gonna hate anyways you might aswell give them a reason.

•Most Lilith dominants I know are super independent, and from a young age. Like started working early in their life, doing stuff on their own, having their own company etc.

•Lilith dominant women experience a lot of complicated love/hate situations with men because men find them intriguing but at the same time finds it hard to genuinely ”like” the Lilith woman since he feels threathened by her. Which leads to being mean to her while being obsessed with her.

•Biggie Smalls having Lilith in the 8th house and being not only accused of his best friends death but also being killed himself.😔

•Lilith just like Pluto can turn out differently in a chart based on how you use that power and what other aspects you have in your chart. Just like Pluto you NEED to take control where your Lilith is OR you will be controlled. With Lilith in hard aspect to Sun or Ascendant you need to show dominance bc people will want to put you down otherwise. With Moon conjunct Lilith you might need to be a b*tch towards other women or they will victimize YOU. Moon conjunct Lilith is common in peoples chart who gets hated on by other women but its also common in people like Beyonce, she got Moon conjunct Lilith and women worship her because she got that dominant powerwoman persona.

•Lilith Square/Opposite/Conjunct Moon can also show that you subconsciously got a bad view on women but as you grew up it changes when you learn how its actually society pitting us against eachother. Look at how Beyonce used to behave towards other women 20 years ago when she was in Destinys Child and made the song ”n*sty girl”. Well she was young but anyways she wasnt always a powerwoman. (all women are powerwomen in my eyes btw but you get what I mean)

•Rachel McAdams have played sooo many bitchy popular girl roles and in the movie Passion she plays a psychopath. She got Lilith conjunct Midheaven Square Ascendant so it makes sense that she got a raw look that works perfectly for roles like that.

•Angelina Jolie got Lilith in the 8th house Square Sun and I cant help but laugh because she doesnt even care when people call her creepy and scary. Like she be unbothered as hell💀

•Sad Observation: If a guys Lilith is conjunct your Moon he might not show as much interest in you when he is single but be hell bent on sleeping with you when he is in a relationship. He might like the idea of you being his side piece. But in a lot of cases if he is not a disgusting guy like the ones i just describe it can be the opposite, that he is the one who finally sees you for who you really are and loves you and understands the pain you go through like with pluto/moon.

•Ive never met a Lilith dominant person, no matter age that were not super intelligent.

•Also with Moon harshly aspecting Lilith there is a sense of having to fight hard for everything they got. Leading to them always being emotionally ready for a battle and having to suppress their emotions. Just like with Moon/Pluto.

•If you are someone whos usually not intense, not into sex outside of a relationship etc that will change when you meet someone whos planets aspects your Lilith. Especially if its their Venus/Moon. Read more about Lilith in synastry on @corvoideas post HERE

•I was friends with two girls who had Moon conjunct Lilith in Libra. Their moms borrowed their clothes, got involved in their petty teendrama, were obsessive and rude towards their friends. Very weird relationship to their moms. Their moms also had them very young which explains some of the competition.

•If you have Lilith in the 2nd house be careful with people who will try to use you for your money you give off the impression of being financially stable even if you are not. I have friends with this aspect and they all attract men with huge debts. One of them were with a man who had half a million in debt and no job. He wanted my friend to take care of him. People want to take from you and could feel a right to do so.

•When you have Lilith in the 2nd house people view you as someone who got too much. Too much beauty, too much money, too much fame. People are obsessed with what you have so they get close to you to either take it or ruin it for you. Be picky because this is a placement that attracts crazy amounts of envy.

•I know so many men with Lilith in the 10th house who have a reputation for being a douchebag/promiscuous etc. Might also be falsely accused of s*xual assault. I know of a guy with this aspect who is known in our town for sleeping with over 100 guys.

•I know of another guy who got Lilith conjunct his Sun and he got accused of being a ”snitch” and outcasted by the men in his neighbourhood because of this. Lilith dominants really gets to see the worst side of society.

•I know Ive said it before but damn Lilith in the 12th house people are sooo good at hiding their Lilith side. They can come across as so unknowing and ”Eve” like.

•Lilith conjunct/square Sun or Ascendant might be that kid in the neighbourhood that parents dont want their children to play with.

•If you are a s*xworker and you meet a client whos Lilith conjuncts your Venus/Moon be ready to make money 🤑💰

SIDENOTE: Sometimes when I post about how men respond to Lilith dominant women I get comments like ”Not everything is about men,women can exist without male validation you know” . Absolutely! not everything is about male validation thats true but men being uncomfortable in your presence WILL affect your life when you are young w no education because in a lot of places men got the power. If a you are someone who intimidates men it WILL affect you because men like that will make damn sure to put you in your place. Lilith is not only about sexiness and confidence but also about the pain of being a woman. The pain of being considered ”the 2nd gender”. Being punished for being sexual, having a bad reputation because you offended the wrong MAN. Remember that the whole thing with Lilith was that she refused to lay under Adam. So yes Lilith got a lot to do with men. Its also easy for us living in the westworld saying stuff like ”Not everything is about men”. We dont need men like that but how about women in less developed countries? Women who are seen as disgusting for being divorced, women who have to marry someone who r*ped them bc nobody else will marry now that they are not a virgin anymore, divorced women who arent allowed to shake hands with ppl because people think it brings bad luck to touch a divorced woman, women who are in jail for leaving a man. Imagine telling those women to stop thinking that everything is about men.😔

© 2022 Zeldas Notes

[runningthroughthegarden]

you were never are mine pt3

summary: fake relationships with your enemy are never a good idea. but this one was.

word count: 1.3k last part!!

as soon as jack left, you broke down into tears once more. sure you hated him before, but somewhere along the way the line between real and fake began to blur. you found yourself falling for him. and now, it had been ripped away. 

jack found tears spilling out of his eyes on the way home. as soon as the words left his mouth he wished he could take them back. he didnt know why he blew up on you but he knew you didnt deserve it. he never truly hated you, just frustrated you could never be his. but now that frustration had become reality. 

-

the next few days were awfully silent. a few months ago you wouldve been overjoyed by this fact, but now you felt like a piece of you was missing. the very first premiere was in just two days so you knew you had to pull yourself together. 

the day leading up to the premiere you did anything and everything you could to keep jack out of your mind. on the other hand, you were the only thing going through jacks mind. 

-

sitting in the makeup chair, you felt all your nerves catching up to you. this will be the first time you see jack since that night. not only would it be the first interaction since then, but all eyes would be on you. this event was the day where you and jack officially announce your ‘relationship’ to the world. sure there had been many sightings of you two, but this would make everything official. his hurtful words replay in your head. you had thought that maybe he was falling for you too, but you had never been so wrong. 

stepping out of the car, you are met with screaming and flashing lights. immediately forgetting about any worry, you feel a sense of pride wash over you. all your hard work had payed off. you giggle walking over to fans, signing and chatting. you were so distracted you didnt see jack coming up beside you. 

he was distracted for a moment, taking in your appearance. he thought you looked absolutely stunning. seeing you smile and laugh with your fans, a true genuine smile. he continued on, beginning to chat with fans and sign posters. 

finally noticing his presence, you turn to look at jack. you hate to admit that he looks amazing. you couldnt help but stare, the moment was interrupted by your assistant letting you know it was almost time to walk the carpet. you collect your thoughts for a moment as your makeup artist touches you up. smoothing down your dress you smile walking onto the carpet. you pose for photos, feeling the most confident you have in weeks. that is until jack enters the carpet. you lock eyes for what feels like an eternity, feeling every emotion come over you. he walks over to you, sliding his arm around your waist. you look up at him while he begins smiling at the camera. shaking off your nerves you do the same. the photographers go absolutely insane. 

“jack are you guys a couple?!” 

“y/n over here! what made you fall for him?” 

“jack!!! y/n!!!” 

“you guys are stunning together” 

laughing off your nerves, you are quickly escorted off the carpet and to your very first interview. 

“y/n, listen i wanted to-” jack begins but is quickly cut off by the interviewer. 

“jack! y/n! how lovely it is to see you! so when did this happen?!” the interviewer asks, very excited to see you two together. 

“well we obviously met during the filming of this movie but we really connected towards the end. we started hanging out and it just felt natural to be together” you link your hands together, leaning into his side. 

“so jack, what attracted you to y/n?” the interviewer asks. 

“everything really i mean” he begins, looking down at you. 

“she just has these gorgeous eyes that you could stare at forever. she’s one of the most positive people ive ever met. theres never a moment with her where im not smiling or laughing. she just brings this energy that you cant help but feel comforted by. y/n is one of the most hard-working people i have ever met, she has such a burning passion. i could talk about her for forever.” he finishes, beginning to rub circles on your hand with his thumb. 

“wow, i mean to have a love like yours. i’ll let you guys go but i hope you have an amazing evening” the interviewer ends. 

you suddenly feel overwhelmed and anxious. from jacks words to his comforting hand, knowing he didnt mean any of it. tearing away from his side you rush into the building trying to collect yourself. tears threatening to spill, you take a few deep breaths. jack quickly finds you, rushing after you. you see him and sigh trying to make a quick escape. he reaches for your arm pulling you in. 

“y/n please just talk to me. i didnt mean any of what i said that night-” jack begins. 

“i don't need your apology jack. please don't make me feel more stupid than i already do.” you look up at him, tears blurring your vision.

“what do you-”

“im in love with you jack. i think i have been since the beginning, of everything. these last few weeks i just, ive never felt happier. you make me happy. since that moment in your car, i was head over heels and there was nothing i could do to stop it. somewhere along the way it wasnt an act for me anymore.” you explain, tears rolling down your cheeks. 

silence falls over you as jack only stares. feeling enough embarrassment you begin to walk away. 

quickly pulling your arm, jack smashes his lips against yours. you immediately melt into the kiss reaching your arms around his neck as he pulls you in incredibly closer. every emotion you have ever felt in the past few months is poured into the kiss. pulling apart with red cheeks and pink lips. 

“im in love with you y/n” jack confesses. 

“and im so sorry for that night. i wish i could take it all back, i didnt mean any of it. but i meant every word i said to that interviewer. i am so utterly and hopelessly in love with you.” 

“so much for being enemies huh” you smile up at him. 

pulling him in for a kiss, smiling against his lips. the whole enemy act was overrated anyway.

a/n: too good :) tag list!!

@iloveneilperry @lian2793 @t8lzw @foxymask001 @ourloveisgod23 @valenftcrush @multi-fandom205 @neteyamsz @xh-josii @juleszzz @athenalive

[dilfhos]

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

[handledwithgloves]

two very popular drarry fics that i did not care for and why

in the past however long of my becoming a drarry stan ive read many fanfics and i can say only two had really gotten me so pissed i had to log off

and thats not to say that i never dnf a drarry fic before because i have done that to so many for various different reasons. ive also read plenty dead doves do not eat so… this is saying something i suppose.

and this is no hate at all to the writers of these fics they clearly love what they do and are super talented and no hate to the enjoyers of these fics, like what you like. this is just my person experiences.

first is, harry potter and the welcome to the world of grey. i just gotta say i did not get the hype at all. i hated voldemort so much everything he says to harry is meant to be philosophical and insightful and whatnot and that makes harry question whether or not voldemort is truly evil but mans just talked way too much for my liking. he needed to be shut up and every time harry was tryin to beat on his ass he stopped for whatever reason - i was so pissed. like atp just kill each other istg. and then harry is supposed to be conflicted and all alone and he cant trust dumbledore and he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions and go to jail for killing someone, well too bad pookie! get tf over yourself you're a bad guy now. not only did you kill twice but both times you killed it was not in self defense but your own willingness to do so. like the drarry was good, in fact so good that i got about 3/4ths way through before i had to quit. the drarry was carrying this story and i understand if drarry stans love it solely for the drarry but if there's going to be other parts of the story i need it to make sense to me. harry and voldemort's characters were just not doing it for me.

second, is the mirror of ecidyrue series. It started off soo well, so well. i loved how all the characters were so in character and everything was cool and draco was powerful and his power was mysterious and bella was scary. i loved how harry met draco and how hermione started trying to befriend him i loved the friendship bracelent draco made her and that snape helped. i even loved jealous harry when draco and charlie were flirting and harry was like 'how old are you again, charlie? 25!? well draco's 14' and charlie started freaking out 'um, 21'. so anyway, strong start! but theeennn... we get later on in the series and for some reason draco starts changing? like yes he gets influenced by the people around him but all of a sudden he's like hyper fem which is not a bad thing in general but definite ooc - i like draco's character so i would prefer him to be in character but whatever i was able to ignore it until they started giving each other nicknames. oh god the nicknames were the worst part. like i get they're cringey kids they do dumb things draco is no exception apparently even though mentally he's like 21 hanging out with 14 yos. so yeah i had to absolutely stop when draco was having sex with 16 yo harry and harry starts calling him dragon in a sexual way... yeah i just had to stop there. i was getting way too much second hand embarrassment that it was pissing me off. i did not like draco lmfao. also i hate that they made lucius abusive lmao.

once again just disclaiming this is no hate to the writers or enjoyers of these fics i just couldnt stomach the stories and thats my own personal fault. i just wanted to share what i thought lol. they definitely made an impression!

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I joined the hobby with my sister in early 2003. We both got our first dolls at the same time but I hated my doll (she arrived blank) and I decided to not join the hobby because I hated the doll so much. My sister stayed active, but passed away in 2016, in which I got my first doll back when they were passing the inheritance and arranging everything. That was my reintroduction into the doll hobby, to connect with my sister in a way.

Enjoyed making friends with people in the community, generally found the community peaceful and positive. I liked playing and taking pictures of my dolls and was interested in trying OC and the biographies people posted because it looked fun.

in 2022 the rest of my family passed away in a car crash. Its been difficult for me to accept this and I keep going into states of "if this" or "if that", and I tried to connect to the hobby but I couldnt escape reality. It didnt help that my fathers side of the family were relentlessly trying to put a conservatorship on me, have me put in a mental hospital and seize control of me, my assets and finances forcing me to go to a psychiatrist and take medication just so I can have freedom and avoid them.

I decide to try and cheer myself by going to a doll event on holiday and get a chance on a doll that is coveted by a niche in the community, as in limited to a few dolls a year that you can only get in person in a certain location on certain dates by a lottery. This is a doll Ive been obsessed with getting, having won two YJA auctions for her (you arent supposed to buy them secondhand or sell them), only to have the sellers always refund the proxy. I won this doll, on my first lottery entry and I feel nothing.

I met two people and one was extremely kind, and the other that I thought I had a connection with was just disappointing to meet in person. Gossiping about people the whole time, including the person that was also there with us, always talking about why they were better than so and so because they did x. Talked about entering the lottery many times but always losing and not to get my hopes up because they dont pick nonresident foreigners. She also suggested I bring in someone to increase my chances, but I said I wanted to play fair and she shocked me when she said good answer; like it was a trick suggestion or she was waiting for an aha moment.

The pure anger on her face when I was called the winner, and then the comment about them picking the lottery winner like I was supposed to feel bad that I was picked instead of randomly chosen was weird to me. I just brushed it off as me being paranoid. Its not jealousy of the doll, but I think anger that they picked someone she saw as unworthy (me). She even called me a whale, but I just ignored the comment because I know Im not even remotely chubby back then.

Then she said something about how maybe this was the universe giving me a present because my whole family passed away a few months ago (at that time). This was the first time I told someone in the hobby about my familys passing and I felt completely emptied? deflated? by the comment. They may have not meant it to be negative, but I felt repulsed. TBH, I havent even taken the doll out of the box since getting her because I keep remembering that comment made. They probably didnt mean much, but it stuck to me. I cant even look at the doll's box without feeling sick. I just remembered this because its been a year + and I saw someone being annoyed that a oneoff winner didnt post an opening even though its been a few months, and now I feel worse because its been a year of her in the box.I was just waiting until I felt happy again so I can at least have the box opening be special. I dont know what to do because that comment; the universe giving me a doll in return of my whole family dying? I cant disassociate it and I wish I never met that person because I feel like it has made the doll hobby unenjoyable to me, but I also know its unreasonable to think this way because Ive met so many that are so nice and kind. I think Im reading into the comment more than its worth. I honestly feel pathetic for letting it affect me this much.

Sorry for writing all of this. I just wanted to get it out of my chest so I can maybe get back to normal. My friends dont like listening to this, because Im a man and am supposed to be more mature, and I also dont like holding on to anger, and I dont usually do, but I feel angry and sad all the time, when I know I should be grateful because I have a lot of blessings. Some might know who I am, and I hope they dont take it as a sign of me needing help, and more of just me venting if they read all of this, that my disinterest in a lot of things isnt them, its just Im not back to normal and I want to be.

~Anonymous

Mod: I'm so sorry anon, you've been through so much. 💗

This person sounds insecure and jealous and imo you should dismiss everything they said to you, it was not coming from a good place. You deserve to have joy and happiness in your life.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 12/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter Twelve: Middle Child

Tim came with me to get my cast off as promised. I felt queasy like I did all the other times, but I leaned forward and covered my face until the feeling passed. I traded my crutches for a cane, and Tim sat beside me as I gently attempted to stretch my leg. “Woohoo! Last one, Jason!” the doctor cheered. I cracked a smile. I liked her. She’d removed every cast I had from the accident. At first, it was because I thought she was pretty, but I grew to like her demeanor. She had a kid —a toddler— and it sometimes bled into her work. She sometimes baby-talked at me, but I didn’t mind.

“How many casts have you had removed?” Tim questioned.

“The long-arm one, the hip spica, and now this one,” Jason replied, “She’s removed all three. The hip spica twice, though… The bones in this leg wouldn’t heal together, so I had to get surgery which meant I was in this cast for another period. So I guess she removed all five.”

“That hip spica was a yucky one, huh?” the doctor replied.

“Yeah,” I replied. My body had been through hell, but it was healing. Maybe I’d never be the same, but at least I could train again.

“You can go as soon as you stop feeling yucky, okay?” the doctor whispered. I nodded. She left me alone with Tim, so she could grab a treat from her office.

“Jason, are you okay?” Tim questioned.

“Yeah… I’ll feel better in a second,” I replied.

“Does the idea of him returning to finish the job freak you out?” Tim questioned. I never thought about it. I thought about all sorts of things in the hospital, but the clown rarely ever crossed my mind. I wasn’t scared of him. He played a dirty trick and caught me off guard, but he wasn’t the threat everyone imagined he was. The clown was unpredictable, and that’s what frightened people. But I knew better. He had a sick obsession with Batman and was in eternal competition with Robin, but he hated me the most. He hated me because I had a bond with Batman. Batman was different when he was with me. Dick told me that all the time.

“I’m not scared of him. I might be traumatized by what happened, but it could’ve been anybody… Tim, all that Party City freak did was use my birth mom to lure me in and catch me off guard. I hate him for what he did, but it could’ve been anybody,” I answered.

“Is he part of your-?”

I looked up at Tim and shook my head. “I hadn’t thought of him until you asked… And I have no intention of getting revenge. I want to do something on such a large scale that Bruce has no choice but to look at me. I want Bruce to tell me he was wrong,” I answered honestly.

Tim patted me on the back. “I trust you, Jason… And I’ll be there to back you up with whatever you choose to do,” Tim replied.

“Tim, why do you believe in me?” I questioned.

The doctor returned with stickers. I picked one to humor her, and Tim got one for being a good buddy. We met Mr. Drake in the lobby, and he took us for ice cream. I know it wasn’t something Tim’s dad was accustomed to doing, but I had a great time. Janet met with us at the ice cream parlor. For a moment, I felt like we were a family. Bruce was supposed to be like that with me. He was supposed to be my dad, spend time with me, understand me, and-. I missed that more than anything.

Tim enjoyed his parents, and he needed that. "And then, Jason starts quoting the book from memory like it's nothing," Tim half-exclaimed.

It snapped me out of the momentary sadness I felt. "Yeah, but that's not half as cool as when Tim showed me how to develop pictures in a real red room. He's kind of a genius," I smiled. Then my phone rang… And it shattered the moment into a million pieces.

“Sorry, one second. It’s my older brother,” I mumbled as I stepped away to answer his call.

“Dick-.”

“Are you having ice cream with another family on a school day?” Dick questioned. I took my glasses out of my shirt pocket and scowled at him. “Don’t be like that… I’m checking in on you. I heard you got your cast removed.”

“Did Bruce ask you to follow me?” I asked.

Dick shook his head as he crossed the street. “No… But he did say you were mad at him. Can I borrow you for a little while?” Dick asked. I wanted to be cruel, but he caught me in a great mood. I grabbed my cane and met him a quarter of the way.

Dick was cautious once we stood close to each other, not wanting to be the first to start an argument. “Did you throw up this time?” Dick asked.

“Funny,” I rolled my eyes, “And to think I was gonna tell you how much I missed you.” Dick hooked an arm around my neck, nearly knocking me off balance.

“What’s it gonna take to get you home?” Dick asked.

“For Bruce to be normal,” I replied.

“What was your problem with Bruce?” Dick questioned.

“Not a good time… But I’ll tell you when my friend’s parents leave town for work, I promise. Oh, by the way, he’s a big fan, so you’re invited to have ice cream with us, as much as I hate the notion of you meeting my best friend,” I replied.

Dick followed me to the table, and I reluctantly introduced him. “This is my older brother, Dick Grayson. You might recognize him from-.”

“Haley’s Circus,” Tim interrupted. He was practically foaming at the mouth. I hate to say it, but I was jealous.

I swallowed my pride and ate my ice cream because there was no point in me being a spoiled brat about sharing my new brother with my old one… And it was worth the goofy smile on Tim’s face. It felt good to see him smiling. I felt how older brothers felt when they gave the perfect gift. It was nice being able to do something for Tim again. Besides, he’d always be my brother first.

[pebiejeebies]

I hate girls

I don’t mind being one, I just hate other girls yk?

something about them always irks me

the way they’re so clingy, how loud they laugh, how much they fake every single word they say, how two faced they are, how untrustworthy they are, how you can befriend them one day and lose them the next, how girls have to beat each other up and hurt each others feelings to express their “love” for their “friends”, how you can see her smile after making one of her friends hurt and completely ignore their feelings, how they manipulate boys because “A man can’t hit a girl” even though she hurts him, how they just live

It’s just. I just hate girls. I don’t get them.

I get me, I make sense, dad told me that girls are gentle and kind, and I am gentle around people, and I’m kind around people, my dad says being kind will get me friends and help me through out life, and it just, doesn’t happen. In fact, it makes my life WORSE

I get easily manipulated, hurt, and since I’m always seeing them as the angel, I’ll shove my heart away just to make sure she’s happy/p (keep in mind I do this to EVERYONE, and the ones who always managed to hurt me the most throughout my life were girls)

I hear girls saying that boys are the worst, I just wish they could look in the mirror and notice whose the problem

I hate how they pick the worst boys to date, then come back a week later crying about how the biggest red flag hurt them, I hate how much make up they wear, how over dramatic they are, how much they try to catch people’s attention

I am a girl, and so are they, but why are so much girls so.. wrong? So horrible? Why is this normalized? Why is this fine? Whyyy?/genq

“There are always nicer girls out there! You just haven’t met them!” Well, I don’t see that, I don’t feel that, I don’t believe that, it’s just, I really can’t believe it anymore

maybe you’re one of the lucky people to have a nice friend that’s a girl, good for you!/gen

but why has my whole trauma and anxiety come from girls? Social anxiety? Just get over it, it’s not like we’ll hurt you/s

Hate how I look? Just shut up and look at my make up instead. Hate how fake they are? You're just jealous of them, you’re ridiculous.

A bad mother, many bad female teachers, too many bad female classmates, my sisters (2 of them)

Why is it all girls?? Why are boys so much more nicer towards me?? My father is THE BEST, I’ve talked with boys before and they’re SO SWEET AND SILLY

What is it with me and girls?? Why do they always take away my freedom and friends? Why do they take away my childhood? Why do they do this to me??

Even my sisters are good examples sometimes

I hate girls

I hate girls so much

Maybe I’m just a stupid narcissist that thinks I’m the best girl and everyone else is the worst.

I’m not saying all girls are bad

I’m saying all the girls IVE MET are bad

Meeting them online is better, I guess

At least I can smile genuinely around them..

If you’re a girl, don’t take this personally please <3

(it’s a bit ironic, but me and @akalikestodraw were chatting in the middle of this vent, and istg they made me smile <33 so thank you for lifting up my spirits ig)

[iloveavatar]

Hey hey lovie!

I have a request for a neteyam x reader. (Already established relationship if possible)

So, reader is an orphan from a traumatic experience, and Jake and neytiri raised reader as one of their own.

But, because reader was on their own for a while before being found by jake and neytiri so their fiercely independent and doesn’t really have l a regard for their own life and is often reckless. One day reader almost dies on a mission bc of their recklessness and neteyam finds out, freaks out, cries, begs them to take care of themselves and reader is like “I don’t care about myself” or “who cares if I get hurt” neteyam reassured them and it’s just fluffy comfort?

(Holy crap I’m sorry it’s so long I just have it so planned out In my head 😭)

i’m fine!

this is so amazing. i LOVE THIS IDEA SM. i’m so sorry this took so long💀

obv neteyam x fem!reader (already in a relationship)

neteyam has known the feeling stress from lo’ak. he knows the pain of that gut feeling tell him that something has gone wrong.

however it’s different when it’s her.

he has never felt this kind of stress before. it’s similar to lo’ak… except if you were to ask anyone how neteyam is handling it, they would tell you he’s not.

he’s not handling it well at all.

y/n brings neteyam a whole new feeling of stress. he deeply cares for her.

why wouldn’t he care about the woman he’s with?

now let’s just explain how neteyam got in this situation first yeah? yeah.

he was around 4 years old, he was hanging out with his grandmother. however when neytiri was out by herself she heard a baby crying out in the middle of the beautiful forest. obviously she followed the sounds, because who would leave their child here?

she ran into a young na’vi who looked around neteyam age.

long story short neytiri decided to take y/n (which is what the little na’vi said was her name) home and have her stay with the sully family.

when little y/n went home with neytiri, she was introduced to jake. she was nervous seeing all these different people and the couple took notice.

neytiri gently asked her, “is something wrong little one?”

y/n timidly shook her head “no ma’am! i’ve just never seen so many people before…”

the couple exchanged a look of confusion. there was only neytiri, jake, and y/n in their tent so far… what did she mean ‘so many people?’

“y/n… who are your parents? do you remember?” jake gently asked while sitting down.

y/n looked at the rug that was sprawled across the floor of the tent. tears started to rush to the surface of her eyes. she huffed because she hated crying.

“ive never met my dad… and my mom left me. she said i wasn’t useful enough for her to love me… so i want to become the best hunter i can!” y/n started out with tears, but then ended her sentence with a determined, stubborn look.

the couple felt their heart breaking at the reveal. they then made eye contact with one another, almost having a conversation with their eyes.

neytiri would help raise y/n and train her to become a hunter like how she wishes.

years later and neytiri stuck to her word. y/n eventually became such an amazing hunter that the clan looked up to her. she became an expert at such a young age due to neytiris help.

y/n having such an independent, strong, fierce personality and mindset, is exactly what made neteyam fall madly for her.

if you were to ask neteyam who was the best hunter in the clan… he would say y/n. after saying his mother of course.

and he wouldn’t just say this because they were dating… but because it’s true.

y/n climbed the ranks of being an amazing hunter so fast it could give someone whiplash.

y/n was so stubborn to prove that she was the best. she would train nonstop, barely sleep, and never ever ask for help.

that being said… y/n was so reckless because of her stubbornness.

neytiri and jake, even neteyam have tried to tell her that being reckless can lead to consequences in the future if she’s not careful.

she would also argue that “she’s fine” and that “she’s got it under control”.

as much as everyone loved her… they all thought she was stupid for risking her life nonstop.

this said reckless behavior is what has neteyam stressing in the first place.

y/n was out on a hunt with his mother to feed the clan, and neteyam was in charge of keeping an eye on lo’ak while they were out.

everything was going well until neteyam heard his mothers war cry.

his head whipped around to see his mother carrying someone else on her ikran.

it was y/n.

she had scratches up and down her body, blood seeping through and making her look like a bloodied mess.

neteyams heart stopped.

he got up and sprinted towards the crowd of na’vi that had eventually ended up forming. except when he finally pushed past everyone, he noticed the back profile of his mother running towards his grandmothers healing tent.

he started to sprint.

his heart was racing in fear.

once he made it to the tent, he found his mother and father waiting outside.

“you cannot disrupt your grandmother neteyam… let her work” said neytiri gently stopping him from entering the tent.

“what happened.” neteyam demanded. his voice came out strong, which was unintentional but his parents knew it was out of worry.

“we were hunting, and per usual she was amazing. however that being said, she was also being reckless once more. she inched closer to her target… something from behind the herd made a noise and they ended up running towards her direction… “ neytiri started to form tears in her eyes

“ i called out for her! i heard a sickening snap and everything else didn’t matter anymore. i tried to get there in time i swear my love…” she cried while taking neteyams hands gently.

“once i made it to her… her bow was trampled on, completely shattered. her body covered in marks and blood. bruises were already starting to form.” she sobbed.

neytiri felt awful. she saw y/n as one of her own. she thinks that she failed to protect y/n. she blames herself.

neteyam tightly hugs his mother with his own tears in his eyes. “it is not your fault mother. please do not put the blame on yourself.” he took a breath. “do you think grandmother will be able to fix her?” he hesitantly asked.

jake jumped into the conversation, “of course she will. y/n is stubborn as hell either way. if mo’at won’t heal her, y/n will find a way to do it herself!” he lightly joked, trying to take the tension off the mother-son duo.

the three of them lightly laughed.

they then waiting for about a half hour until mo’at came out of the tent.

“she’s healed. she’s getting some rest so you can come in and see her in a little while. stubborn one that girl! i thought she wasn’t going to make it through but she proved me wrong once again!” she praised with a smile on her face.

neteyam then waiting an hour or so to walk into the tent.

his parents figured it would be best for neteyam so see her first when she was awake.

he walked into the tent slowly, scared of what he might see.

he saw her laying down with multiple bandages on her body. tears instantly formed in his eyes.

y/n heard the sniffles and slowly opened her eyes. she turned her head gently towards the source of the sound. it was neteyam.

“oh ma teyam…” she softly started to say. “it’s ok! i’m fine..” she whispered.

“no it’s not ok! you’re too reckless… it’s like you don’t even care about your life anymore!!” neteyam shouted with a shaking voice. tears started to fall from his eyes now.

y/n gasped at his sentence.

“i- i don’t care about my life… it’s worthless!” she stated with a strong voice.

neteyam was shocked at the reveal. “h-how could you not care? i care for you. my family cares for you. everyone in the clan cares for you!” he loudly said with a broken heart.

“well clearly not everyone! if everyone cared then my mother wouldn’t have left me!!” she shouted with tears in her eyes.

“… she would’ve loved me..” she whisper while crying.

neteyam felt his heart shatter even more. he didn’t realize that she was still holding onto such sorrow.

neteyam rushed over to give the woman he loves a gentle hug, careful not to open her wounds.

they both sobbed in each other arms.

“y/n…” neteyam started out in a whisper. “you don’t need your mother to love you..because i love you.” neteyam stated sincerely. he looked into her teary eyes to show just how much he was being serious.

y/n started to sob.

“i-im sorry ma teyam!” she wailed. she finally felt the pressure of sadness she has been holding, break down and flow out like a river.

neteyam takes her in his arms again and doesn’t let go. he whispers sweet nothings in her ear until she slowly stops crying and falls asleep from exhaustion. neteyam feels his eyes slowly close and let’s sleep consume his body.

a couple hours later, neytiri walked into the tent to check on y/n. she noticed her eldest and his soon to be mate fast asleep cuddling one another.

she smiled at the sight and slowly backed out of the tent letting them sleep.

from that moment on… y/n was more careful with her life. she finally had something to live for. she didn’t care about her mother anymore.

she saw neytiri as her mother now. she wanted to live for her new family.

she wanted to live for her mates family.

she wanted to live for neteyam.

with neteyam.

from that moment on she had something and someone to live for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i’m so so sorry this took so long!! i’ve been on my period and i literally avoided everything and anything.

hopefully this is ok!!

if there’s any mistakes please lmk.

~S!

[jewfrogs]

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS NORMAL ABOUT DEMETRIUS.... God the way people hate him so much for NO REASON is baffling to me and then they say things like "his relationship with Sebastian makes me hate him" yet, and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm like 90% sure Robin NEVER mentions maru by name or anything and I never hear A WORD about how Robin is evil. The double standards is nuts. Demetrius I will defend you to the DEATH

i am so so glad that i got a positive response here because seeing people talk on reddit and in youtube/twitch comments was seriously soul draining. delighted that ive cultivated an Intellectual Community here

as an aside, from what i know (without looking at the files or anything, based on the wiki), robin mentions maru in one line

Maru likes gems. She uses them in her inventions. So how are you and Maru getting along?

but she has 3 regular lines about sebastian

You’ve met my son Sebastian, right? He lives downstairs. He’s a little shy, but I’m sure he’ll warm up to you if you’re nice to him.

I found an asthray in Sebastian’s room, and it smelled really weird. Should I be worried about this?

Sometimes I worry about Sebastian… he doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t really seem to care about his future very much… I would talk to him about it but he never opens up to me.

and 3 lines if you marry him

I miss my Sebby… he was always a little misunderstood, but I believed in him.

Sebastian told me he’s trying to quit smoking! I’m really proud of him.

I think the farm life is really healthy for Sebastian.

(no lines about you marrying maru). and somehow nobody is accusing robin of favoritism. fascinating

[esther-dot]

"Gently, he spoke of Braavos, and met a wall of sullen courtesy as icy and unyielding as the Wall he had walked once in the north. It made him weary. Then and now."- Tyrion(ASOS VIII).

"I hate this Wall," she said in a low angry voice. "Can you feel how cold it is?"- Jon(ASOS IV)

"I almost fell," she said, with tears in her eyes. "Twice. Thrice. The Wall was trying t' shake me off, I could feel it." One of the tears broke free and trickled slowly down her cheek."- Jon(ASOS IV).

Tyrion and Ygritte feeling weary of the Wall and hating the Wall.

Oh, 👀👀 Years ago I wrote this:

We also have all those references to her courtesy being a wall (I’ve been collecting them to write about it sometime) and Tyrion wishing to get around it but he can’t. I’ve mentioned before how it’s fitting that Sansa, who bled for the North’s freedom as a prisoner in KL, would secure the North’s freedom, but I forget how Sansa’s refusal to have sex with Tyrion, her refusal to let him in, isn’t cruel, isn’t just about sex, it’s a decision that is protecting the North. I know the fandom likes to use Tyrion’s decision to not rape her as a sign of his virtue, but Sansa builds a wall to protect herself, and with it, Winterfell. A shame that’s not appreciated more. (link)

So I'm very interested in Sansa's wall and Jon's declarations of the Wall is mine which happen throughout ASOS and ADWD, especially as his struggle between his vow/the Wall and desire for Winterfell is decided in his declaration that Winterfell belongs to Sansa, a contrast to Tyrion who wishes to use Sansa to take Winterfell. Tyrion being pained and frustrated by his child bride (who was a prisoner of his family!) not opening up to him has got to be one of the most self-absorbed moments in the story. I’m just incredulous each time I read it but moving on

There are many intersections between the ASOS Jonsa chapters, and this one seems pertinent as it is another connection between Tyrion and Ygritte:

Jon is in a similar position with Ygritte (a captive being forced into a "marriage") as Sansa is with Tyrion. And, in addition to the general similarities, when they both are “married” (Sansa officially, Jon by giving in and having sex) there is this: "Two hearts that beat as one. Mance Rayder's mocking words rang bitter in his head. Jon had seldom felt so confused." (ASOS, Jon III) "'Here in the sight of gods and men,' he said, 'I do solemnly proclaim Tyrion of House Lannister and Sansa of House Stark to be man and wife, one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever, and cursed be the one who comes between them.'" (ASOS, Sansa III) Those lines in the chapters with similar considerations mimic each other as a mockery of Jon and Sansa’s romantic ideals, their dreams, what they would want a marriage to be. (link)

Sansa is greatful for what she deems Tyrion's kindess to her, her feelings never develop beyond that although he does respect her boundary on the wedding night and opts not to force her to have sex with him. Jon on the other hand develops deep feelings for Ygritte, so her lines about the Wall trying to throw her off are fascinating to me if we're reading it as more than her experience with the physical Wall. We could read it as references to Jon's attempts to prevent her from sleeping with him, his feelings immediately after she forces the issue or his mixed feelings later once he eagerly participates in the relationship. Once I wrote this:

Another way to look at this is the idea of what the characters represent. I’ve mentioned how Ygritte is representative of the FF for Jon, spending time with her is about learning the culture, coming to care for the people, realizing that they have some sympathetic grievances, but if Ygritte is the FF, we might look at Jon as the people of the North, as someone whose boundaries are disregarded, the things he attempts to use to protect himself circumnavigated, and his person violated. (link)

which is an interesting thought paired with how Ygritte views the Wall. Her anger at the Wall's existence makes me think of this passage where she wants to...well, kinda violently possess Jon:

Ygritte had looked so angry he thought she was about to strike him. "All of us," she said. "You too. You're no crow now, Jon Snow. I swore you weren't, so you better not be." She pushed him back against the trunk of a tree and kissed him, full on the lips right there in the midst of the ragged column. Jon heard Grigg the Goat urging her on. Someone else laughed. He kissed her back despite all that. When they finally broke apart, Ygritte was flushed. "You're mine," she whispered. (ASOS, Jon V)

[bigpussysopranos]

i wanted to write last saturday about campbells performance, how it was spring clarity &ease borne through effort (midwifed?) by opening and closing your eyes. i have been seeing so many cherry blossoms lately, i wanted to say how it was like a ballet or something, or water running over a sheet of glass that you can split and divert with your fingers but never stop, or cool polished quartz you can press your cheek against that makes you remember you are 99°f.

i am very glad i met her. i have trouble expressing myself to other people. i like using simple language because it is easier for me to say things that are true. i met her in october 2022 at her apartment. the apartment was set up like a cartoon femur, a long hallway with pockets of people on either end. in october 2022 i was 2 months out of a psychotic episode i hve never really fully healed from. i was paranoid and had forgotten how to relate to other people. i didnt plan to go, i had to write a paper and i was genuinely afraid of other people even though i wanted to be normal again so badly. however, my last minute costume was the joker so thats how she met me as. i think one time she said im like the youngest out of the 4 of us. i hope its not that im immature but that i was not really myself yet when i met all of you, but campbell the least of all. and that im still learning to be a person who can be close to other people and that im incalcuably grateful.

i admire a lot about campbell. i admire that she is a hard worker, even at the things she hates and are shitty to her. i admire that she is so open and connective. she is like a neuron that fires and hits everyone else and bursts into the web of impulse to go hang out. i would not be lucky enough to have the friends i have if i had never met her. the first time we met i did NOT help her clean up vomit even though i insincerely offered to (was not going to do that shit...) and she def saw right through it. and then we cried at attica -_-

i appreciate her so much but not in a way ive ever really vocalized. i like that she is such a hater (she's funny about it). i like that she is so open even though i still feel kind of alien about everything sometimes. she is so wonderful and talented and im so proud of her. watching her play was an honor. knowing that such a difficult time lead to the grace of the performance, looking around the room at everyone who was so proud of her and felt so special to be able to be there made me cry and i was NOT alone lol. shes a very loved person for good reason, shes wonderful and funny and epic and i hope she can see why everyones so proud. yayyy