#jacques x bertrand

[beatricebidelaire]

old friends (ex-lovers)

Jacques runs into Bertrand in The City.

~1.7k. past Jacques Snicket / Bertrand Baudelaire

[squidgeworld] / [ao3]

__

Jacques Snicket is sitting at his desk in the Daily Punctilio office, typing up an article for tomorrow's financial column. He feels a certain agitation brewing in him, and his shoulders are tense - although perhaps that's a normal enough thing where Jacques is concerned. One of the Denouements has once commented that Jacques's shoulders are always tense. It's a permanent state of his being. At this point, it's his comfort zone.

Apart from the tension in the shoulders, though, Jacques would like to think his internal turmoil isn't showing that much. Despite the nervousness and agitation he's feeling, he thinks - or at least, he hopes - he's keeping a calm enough surface. He can't really explain where the nervousness is coming from - sure, the schism isn't going well, but there have been no particular drastic developments lately. What's been going on has been going on since forever. And he still hasn't yet managed to clear Lemony's name, but at least there weren't any new rumors spreading lately. Things are, to put simply, just the usual.

Yet Jacques's worried, nonetheless. All his worries are very legitimate worries but nothing new, and nothing to indicate he needs to be more worried than usual. And perhaps he isn't more worried than usual. He's just always worried, but sometimes he's busy enough to distract himself from thinking too deep, or simply too exhausted to let the never-going-away, perpetually-there underlying anxiety gets to him. But he's not just worried - he's agitated, more so than usual. Not over anything particular, but at the same time about many different things that all are sort of reasonable concerns to have. Sometimes Jacques thinks he's most agitated when there aren't many things happening - and not even in the "sensing this is the quiet before the storm" way, just - the feeling that he isn't doing anything right now. Well, he is, and yet - most seem just routine stuff. Which are important as well, he knows. It's the routines that keep things functioning. He's seen Frank at work, after all. But Jacques can't shake the feeling that he needs to be doing something more than this, that he needs to be on higher alert and paying attention to what's going to go wrong next, that what if Lemony or Kit needs his help right now but isn't able to reach him - especially Lemony, because who knows how far away from The City he is at the moment, being on the lam. At least Kit's still in The City.

He hasn't seen her in ages either, actually. But he knows she's still around, in The City. He hears about her. He sees traces of her having been at a place not too long before his own visit. He'd recognize those traces anywhere.

They haven't spoken in years.

Yet he knows what's she's been up to, where she's been, just like he knows she's been keeping track of him, paying attention to what he's doing. If they ever need each other's help - the other will miraculously provide it. Probably. Possibly. Maybe.

Mostly they don't need it, though.

They're both trained to deal with various situations, after all. The well-trained volunteers of VFD.

Unable to shake his agitation away, with anxiousness and nervousness piling up inside him, Jacques stands up abruptly at his desk. He coolly strides over to the coat rack and puts on his trench coat. Geraldine Julienne is steals a glance at him briefly before returning to flipping her collection of Esme's photos.

Jacques doesn't have a particular destination in mind as he walks the city streets, passing over Verne Invention Museum that Kit's always quite enjoyed visiting, the Fountain at the Victorious Finance District, Mulctuary Money Management - and then he turns a corner and comes face to face with none other than Bertrand Baudelaire.

Bertrand looks surprised for a brief moment. And then he says, quite warmly, "J."

The warmth shatter away the cool mask Jacques puts on to hide his agitation. "B," Jacques replies. He belatedly notices the way his voice cracks a little. He clears his throat. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Bertrand says. His eyes peer at Jacques in concern behind the black-rimmed glasses. "I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you look quite stressed, J."

Bertrand may have a reputation for being more diplomatic than straightforward, but when it comes to the Snicket twins he's always been much more direct. Of course, Jacques is aware that Kit gets to see even more of the direct side of him. With Jacques, Bertrand still often injects a certain level of politeness that he doesn't really reserve for Kit. It may be partly due to the fact that they're exes, and Bertrand automatically defaults to maintaining a degree of politeness when it comes to ex lovers. At least, the ones that parted ways amicably.

Jacques and Bertrand have been friends long before they were ever lovers, which didn't last that long actually. They ultimately parted due to differences of opinions on VFD's stance on certain specific subjects, and found that those are differences that they can live with as friends, but probably not partners in a longterm serious relationship. Going from lovers back to friends was a little tense at first, but they were always friends first, and they've known each other since before teenage years. So they went back to being just good friends again - though probably not as close as Kit and Bertrand. But then again, sometimes Jacques feels that he and B have never been as close as K and B have been - aside from the physical intimacy aspect, and only during the time they were dating. Kit and Bertrand have their differences of opinions as well, but they just clicked, in some ways. It's also how the two can be absolutely straightforward and honest with each other. But it's never been romantic.

Now, the simple observation hits Jacques like a truck - perhaps it's the way B so easily reads him, even after all these years. It floors him, suddenly. Overwhelming for a brief moment. But it's also - a relief, he thinks, to have someone who can see through him like that, concerned gaze cutting through his cool mask. To have someone who genuinely cares, and expresses that out loud.

They are exes, sure, but first and foremost they are friends, always have been. Even after Bertrand married Beatrice and the two of them turning their VFD work underground and discreet, a secret hidden away from the children. Even if they only meet with their old associates without the children ever knowing anything.

"Yeah," Jacques finds himself admitting. "A bit. Though I can't even pinpoint an exact thing." He will never admit something like to his siblings, for fear of worrying them. As the eldest, he doesn't want to burden them with something like this. Both K and L have enough troubles of their own. But with Bertrand, it's different. It's - somehow easier to let him see that side of him. Bertrand has that effect on Jacques.

He's had that effect on him before they were even lovers, and after their breakup as well.

"I know the feeling," Bertrand says, gently, and Jacques thinks, yeah, this is why. Because B admits to his own vulnerabilities to J as well, which he doesn't let just anyone see. Jacques is hit with a rush of nostalgia and fondness. Oh, how he misses him. He doesn't see Bertrand that much anymore now that he and Beatrice are keeping the distance from VFD despite still being involved to a degree. He really does miss him. Not in a romantic way, but just - him, as a person. As a friend.

Bertrand asks if Jacques wants to grab coffee together - or tea, he pauses and adds, casting a wry smile. Jacques smiles, too. It's easy, with him. Everything's easy, with him. Aside from a very brief period just after the breakup, there's never any awkwardness. They tried, it didn't work out. As simple as that. But it's okay. He will always love him, in a way, misses him fondly, occasionally a little achingly, but it's not romantic, not anymore. They've both moved on from that, and agreed that they work better as friends.

They go into a nearby restaurant, and Jacques suddenly remember that the last time they were here together, they were still a couple. They both find this a little amusing, a fond shared memory that they can easily talked about now.

"Remember the striped jacket you were wearing that day?" Jacques asks, lips pulling up, a hint of slyness entering his voice.

"Someone told me that those were in," Bertrand huffs.

They glance at each other and burst out laughing.

"Well, they were," Jacques says, mock serious.

Bertrand rolls his eyes fondly. "Thanks ever so," he says dryly.

They chat on, and Jacques asks Bertrand if he's seen Kit lately. Since Bertrand and Beatrice haven't actually left VFD, not completely, Kit and Bertrand naturally remain in touch. It's ironic, how Bertrand now meets with both Kit and Jacques separately more frequently than the Snicket twins see each other.

"We played the pairs tournament together at the City's Bridge Club just last week," Bertrand says. "67%."

Jacques raises an eyebrow. "That's pretty good. And I heard the field was tough."

"K scored us a top with a bold 7D," Bertrand grins. "No other table bid it."

Jacques doesn't play regularly like Kit and Bertrand do, but he does know the rules and still plays occasionally, and keeps up with the news. He still remembers his father teaching him and K when they were little - although that's an older, even more distant memory than the memories of dating Bertrand.

Jacques sips his bitter tea - the way tea should always be - while Bertrand enjoys his cup of hot chocolate, with marshmallow on top. Gradually, Jacques finds himself relaxing a little. Perhaps because of the ambience of the restaurant, perhaps because of the nostalgia. Perhaps Bertrand still has certain effects on him.

Eventually, though, they both have other things they need to attend to. They exchange a friendly hug, solid and warm. "Say hi to K for me when you see her again."

Bertrand tuts. "One of these days you should really say hi to her yourself, you know."

"One of these days, perhaps," Jacques says, noncommittal.

Bertrand sighs. "Alright," he says. Then he adds, "Send F my regards."

Jacques gives him a lopsided smile. "Of course," he agrees. "I will."

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

ASOUE Dynamic Playlists

You can find the list of character playlists here

Unfortunate Gen

The Firefighters

The Firestarters

Olaf/Esmé

Beatrice/Bertrand

Kit/Olaf

Lemony/Beatrice

Olaf/Georgina

Beatrice/Esmé

Georgina/Esmé

Olaf & Beatrice

Kit/Beatrice

Esmé/Kit

Jacques/Olivia (Show!Verse)

Esmé/Olivia (Show!Verse)

Jacques/Esmé

Beatrice & Jerome

I am constantly editing/changing these, most of them aren't really in a coherent order yet and some of them are currently ridiculously short because I haven't really found the right niche of songs for their dynamic yet, but here you go ^.^ (also I will be making and linking a masterpost for each one explaining why I chose all the songs, but if anyone ever has any song recommendations or wants to know about a specific song that's already on there, feel free to send me an ask!)

[the-nonsense-is-mine]

The beginning of a Beatrice-centric take on the opera night.

[lleah]

Cinéma français

Truffaut

L’enfant sauvage

Jacques Becker

Falbala (1945)

Jean-Luc Godard

    Masculin/Feminin     Le mépris

Varda

    Cléo de 5 à 7

Robert Bresson

    Pickpocket     L’argent

Francois Ozon

    Huit Femmes     Sitcom (court)

Quentin Dupieux

Wrong Cops Le Daim Incroyable mais vrai *** Au poste

Christophe Honoré

Les bien-aimées Chambre 212 Plaire, aimer et courir vite

Rohmer

    Ma nuit chez Maud (69)     Le genou de Claire

Tati

Mon oncle L'illusioniste (inspiré de )

Resnais

Nuit et Brouillard (55)

Bertrand Blier

Les valseuses Buffet Froid Tenue de soirée ***

Leos Carax

Boy Meet Girl (CHOC) ** Pola X     Les amants du pont-neuf (91) Holly Motors Mauvais Sang

Renoir

Les règles du jeu

Joan Sfar

Le chat du Rabbin Gainsbourg Vie héroïque

Riad Sattouf

Jackie au royaume des filles Les beaux Gosses

Valérie Donzelli ****

 La reine des pommes  La guerre est déclarée Main dans la main Marguerite et Julien

Jacques Demy

    Les parapluies de Cherbourg     Les demoiselles de Rochefort     Peau d’Ane

Haneke

    Amour     Le 7eme continent     Funny games (97) (choc)

Helena Klotz 

L’Age atomique****

Louis Male

    Le feu follet****

George Perec et Bernard Queysanne

    Un homme qui dort ***

Matthieu Kassovitz

    La Haine (95)     L’ordre et la Morale

Justine Trier

Sybil Victoria La bataille de Solferino Anatomie d'une chute *** (palme d'or 2023)

Antonin Peretjako

La fille du 14 Juillet La loi de la jungle La pièce rapportée

Kervern et Delépine

En même temps Effacer l'historique I feel good Saint amour

Céline Devaux

Tout le monde aime Jeanne *** Le repas dominicale ( animation)

Eric judor

Platane Problemos Steak

Jean Pascal Zadi

Tout simplement noir

Agnès Jaoui et Jean-Pierre Bacri

Le gout des autres Place publique Un air de famille Cuisine et depandance

Alain Chabat

Astérix et Obélix, mission Clépatre Didier La cité de la peur RRRR

Nakache et Tolédano

Nos jours heureux Intouchable En thérapie ( série) Le sens de la fête

Maiwen

Polisse Mon roi Jeanne du Barry

[shiho-elliptic]

Crypto CTF 2023 Writeup (JA)

(English ver. https://shiho-elliptic.tumblr.com/post/722391959624433664/crypto-ctf-2023-writeup-en )

CryptoCTF 2023にieraeとして参加しました. 結果は13位(全完, 得点的には1位タイ)でした.

@ta1yak1_8926 視点: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJCWj0LKn

Solved by me

Bertrand (medium, 21 solves)

2nd solve.

暗号文は画像で提供される. 鍵の大きさに応じて回転するが, 回転は4種類しかない($$90\times n\lbrack\deg\rbrack$$)ので, 全パターンを列挙できる. また関数 sox は無視できる.

平文と暗号文はbyte-by-byteに対応するので, この暗号はtransposition cipherとして扱える. 鍵に依存したソート処理も存在するが, 鍵の長さは3に固定しているので, $$\lvert S _ 3\rvert = 3! = 6$$ パターンをすべて列挙すればよい.

後はフラグフォーマットを利用し, 鍵の各バイトを総当りすれば解ける. 最終的な計算量はちょうど$$4\times 6 + 256^3$$である.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/717b44cc1c5cc8b0707a81b7b345cdc9

Insights (medium, 88 solves)

d = next_prime(pow(n, 0.2919)) なので $$d$$ は $$n$$ から唯一定まる. Hardにしては簡単すぎると思っていたらmediumに落ちた. 作問ミス?

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/6ec91e35e4a974572ecb1d576d446ba0

Shevid (hard, 17 solves)

SIDH. 構成からCastryck-Decru attackをそのまま適用できるように見えたため, https://github.com/GiacomoPope/Castryck-Decru-SageMath をもとにコードを少し書いて解いた.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/f5e694e2cf2233fccf3f199f60f45c6b

Barak (medium, 27 solves)

Hessian curveが与えられる. Hessian curveは楕円曲��と双有理同値なので, Marc Joye and Jean-Jacques Quisquater. 2001. Hessian Elliptic Curves and Side-Channel Attacks. 等を読みつつ楕円曲線上の点に変換.

楕円曲線の点として考えるとき, base point $$P$$とすると$$\lvert P\rvert = 3083219685676632130193959041477461850061047352503612$$である. この素因数はたかだか$$2^{35}$$程度でしかなく, ゆえにPohlig-Hellman attackを適用できる. 実際にはPari/GPの ellog 関数に任せた.

ただし, $$m\lt p$$ という制約しか存在しないにも関わらず$$\lvert P\rvert \lt p$$であるため, $$m$$を完全に復元することはできなかった. このため実際の解は$$x _ 0 + n\lvert P\rvert$$の形になる. ただし $$x _ 0$$ はECDLPの解, $$0\leq n\lt 25$$ ($$\because 24\lvert P\rvert \lt p \lt 25\lvert P\rvert$$).

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/cf112ddf554ea9d447dff31cb40731bf

Byeween (hard, 22 solves)

楕円曲線$$E$$とその上の点$$Q$$が与えられる. $$2P = Q$$を満たす点をすべて計算すればフラグをもらえる.

楕円曲線における2分割点はdivision polynomialの解を計算すれば求められる. 実際SageMathの division_points もこれを利用したものである1. 完全にすべての解を求められない場合もあるようだが, ほとんどの場合うまく行く.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/deccae6523d5548086e237ee70f1ee42

Vinefruit (hard, 19 solves)

hash collisionを起こせばよい. 対象となるハッシュ関数$$\mathrm{vinefruit} _ {p, o, m}(m)$$はメッセージ$$(m _ i) _ {i = 1, \ldots, \ell}$$とパラメータ$$p, o, m$$に対し$$f(p)$$である. ただし

$$$ f(x) = ((o + m _ 1) x^\ell + m _ 2x^{\ell - 1} + \cdots + m _ \ell x) \bmod m. $$$

$$p, o, m$$を固定して考えるとき, 最も単純なのは $$\mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)$$ への衝突である. これは$$\mathrm{vinefruit}(x) - \mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)\equiv 0\pmod m$$の$$x$$を決定する問題を解くことで求められ, 特にModular knapsack problemに帰着できる. 次に示す格子はその解を与える:

$$$ \begin{pmatrix} 1 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 0& p\cr 0 & 1 & \cdots& 0 & 0 & p^2\cr 0 & \vdots & \ddots & \cdots & \vdots & \vdots\cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 1 & 0 & p^{\ell - k}\cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 1 & c \cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 0 & -m\cr \end{pmatrix} $$$

ただし $$$ c = ((o + m _ \ell)p^\ell + m _ {\ell - 1}p^{\ell - 1} + \cdots + m _ {\ell - k + 1}p^{\ell - k + 1} - \mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)) \bmod m $$$

である. $$m _ \ell, m _ {\ell - 1}, \ldots, m _ {\ell - k + 1}$$は初期値としてランダムに選択する. 実際には重み付けをしているが割愛した. この格子のLLL簡約基底のうち, すべての値が0から255までに収まるようなものを取れば, hash collisionを引き起こせる.

ただし, この方針で進めた場合$$m$$が大きくなるほど衝突を構成しづらくなる. このため$$m = 2^{32}$$, $$m = 2^{64}$$ の場合のみを計算し, $$m = 2^{128}$$ の場合を無視することとした. 本問題は$$\ell\in\lbrace\,35, 34, \ldots, 17\,\rbrace$$に対してそれぞれ3通りの$$m$$が決まるため, $$(2/3)^{18} = 262144/387420489 = 1/(2^{10.52932\ldots}) \gt 1/1500$$より1500回に1回程度$$m \ne 2^{128}$$を仮定できる. これを利用して解いた.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/bc5cf7f519ad28f2369625ad49bd9089

After the comptetition:

本攻撃は第二原像攻撃を目指したものであったが, 実際には衝突攻撃を解けば十分である. 加えて vinefruit 関数はローリングハッシュとして扱えるため, よく知られたローリングハッシュの衝突実装を引用すれば簡単に解ける (この場合はSVPではなくCVPを解くことになる).

Solved with teammates

Risk (medium, 35 solves)

素因数分解は@ta1yak1_8926が終わらせていた(詳細: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJCWj0LKn#Risk-122-pts-35-solves-Medium )が, $$\gcd(\varphi(N), e) = 10728$$ な状況におけるRSAを解くところで詰まっていたのでそこだけ. $$\mathbb{F} _ q$$へと帰着して$$x^6 - A = 0$$の解として計算.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/cfd56e9dd47c7f2041157ffb6bb7477c

Big (hard, 23 solves)

パラメータ$$a, N = pq$$は既知. $$N$$の素因数分解は@ta1yak1_8926が終わらせていた(詳細: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJCWj0LKn#Big-169-pts-23-solves-Hard ). 最後の部分だけ.

各ビット$$b$$について$$\left(\frac{t}{N}\right) = 1\iff b = 1$$であるように$$t$$を選び, $$c := t - a/t \bmod N$$としている. $$c \equiv (t^2 - a)/t\pmod N$$より$$tc \equiv t^2 - a \pmod N \iff t^2 - tc - a \equiv 0\pmod N$$. 係数はすべて判明しているので, そのまま二次方程式として解けばよい.

Anca-Maria Nica. 2020. Quadratic Residues and Applications in Cryptography. - https://profs.info.uaic.ro/~webdata/doctorate/NicaAncaMaria/Rezumat-En.pdf §4.1.1 Cocks' IBE ciphertexts に同じものがある. フラグもそのことに触れていた.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/07b3440678135f0712d467925b9e81af

感想

本格的にCTFに取り組んだのは数年振りだったが, 良い結果になってよかった. 速度が落ちている感覚はあるので, リハビリがてら今年はいくらか参加していきたい.

https://github.com/sagemath/sage/blob/9.8/src/sage/schemes/elliptic_curves/ell_point.py#L886 ↩︎

[alexlacquemanne]

Février MMXXIII

Films

Danger : Diabolik ! (Diabolik) (1968) de Mario Bava avec John Phillip Law, Marisa Mell, Michel Piccoli, Claudio Gora, Terry-Thomas et Adolfo Celi

L'Horloger de Saint-Paul (1974) de Bertrand Tavernier avec Philippe Noiret, Jean Rochefort, Jacques Denis, Yves Afonso, Julien Bertheau et Jacques Hilling

Les Grandes Familles (1958) de Denys de La Patellière avec Jean Gabin, Jean Desailly, Pierre Brasseur, Bernard Blier, Françoise Christophe, Annie Ducaux et Louis Seigner

Les Ambitieux (The Carpetbaggers) (1964) de Edward Dmytryk avec George Peppard, Carroll Baker, Alan Ladd, Bob Cummings, Martha Hyer et Elizabeth Ashley

Bathing Beauty (1944) de George Sidney avec Red Skelton, Esther Williams, Basil Rathbone, Bill Goodwin, Jean Porter, Nana Bryant, Carlos Ramírez et Ethel Smith

Que les gros salaires lèvent le doigt ! (1982) de Denys Granier-Deferre avec Jean Poiret, Michel Piccoli, Daniel Auteuil, François Perrot, Tchéky Karyo, Nadia Barentin, François Lalande, Florence Pernel, Jeanne Lallemand et Marie Laforet

Pain, Amour et Fantaisie (Pane, amore e fantasia) (1953) de Luigi Comencini avec Vittorio De Sica, Gina Lollobrigida, Marisa Merlini, Virgilio Riento, Tina Pica et Maria-Pia Casilio

Les Ripoux (1984) de Claude Zidi avec Philippe Noiret, Thierry Lhermitte, Régine, Grace de Capitani, Julien Guiomar, Albert Simono et Claude Brosset

Scoop (2006) de Woody Allen avec Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Jackman, Woody Allen, Ian McShane, Romola Garai et Julian Glover

Sous le signe de Monte-Cristo (1968) d'André Hunebelle avec Paul Barge, Claude Jade, Anny Duperey, Pierre Brasseur, Michel Auclair, Raymond Pellegrin et Paul Le Person

Une femme sous influence (A Woman Under the Influence) (1974) de John Cassavetes avec Gena Rowlands, Peter falk, Fred Draper, Lady Rowlands, Katherine Cassavetes, Matthew Laborteaux et Matthew Cassel

L'Enquête corse (2004) d'Alain Berberian avec Christian Clavier, Jean Reno, Caterina Murino, Didier Flamand, Juliette Poissonnier, Pierre Salasca, Éric Fraticelli et Alain Maratrat

Didier (1997) d'Alain Chabat avec Jean-Pierre Bacri, Alain Chabat, Isabelle Gélinas, Lionel Abelanski, Michel Bompoil, Jean-Marie Frin, Zinedine Soualem et Elliot

Les Aventuriers de l'arche perdue (Raiders of the Lost Ark) (1981) de Steven Spielberg avec Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman, Ronald Lacey, John Rhys-Davies, Denholm Elliott, Alfred Molina et Wolf Kahler

M. Hobbs prend des vacances (Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation) (1962) de Henry Koster avec James Stewart, Maureen O'Hara, Fabian, John Saxon, Marie Wilson et Reginald Gardiner

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941) d'Alfred Hitchcock avec Carole Lombard, Robert Montgomery, Gene Raymond, Jack Carson, Philip Merivale et Lucile Watson

Ulysse (Ulisse) (1954) de Mario Camerinia avec Kirk Douglas, Silvana Mangano, Anthony Quinn, Rossana Podestà, Jacques Dumesnil, Sylvie et Daniel Ivernel

Séries

Inspecteur Barnaby Saison 4, 5

Le Jardin de la mort - L'ange destructeur - Vendetta - Qui a tué Cock Robin ? - Sombre automne - Le Fruit du péché - Un village très coté - Le Ver dans le fruit - Les Sonneries de la mort - Meurtre dans un collège anglais

L'agence tous risques Saison 1, 2

Détournement - Le candidat - Un si jolie petite ville - Immigration clandestine - Poussière de diamants - Otages à l'orphelinat - Les mustangs : première partie - Les mustangs : deuxième partie - Histoire d'eau - Pression amicale - Le pain quotidien - La pêche miraculeuse - Agitateurs - Acier - La guerre des taxis - Le Scorpion du désert - Tirez sur le Cheik - Eclipse - Les marchands de poison - Dites-le avec du plomb - La vache maltaise - Pas si facile que ça

Affaires sensibles

10 mai 1981 : l’arrivée de la gauche au pouvoir - Ali contre Foreman : choc des titans à Kinshasa - Le 6 février 1973. L'incendie du collège Pailleron - Sharon Tate : l’Ange et le Démon - Voici l’histoire de Hurricane - Harlem, 21 février 1965 : Malcolm X est mort

Friends Saison 5, 6

Celui qui embrassait - Celui qui a des triplés - Celui qui accepte l'inacceptable - Celui qui rate son week-end - Celui qui a du mal à se taire - Celui qui emménage - Celui qui avait des souvenirs difficiles à avaler - Celui qui s'était fait piquer son sandwich - Celui qui avait une sœur un peu spéciale - Celui qui prenait de bonnes résolutions - Celui qui riait différemment - Celui qui avait un sac - Celui qui découvre tout - Celui qui prenait des coups - Celui qui enviait ses amis - Celui qui ne savait pas se repérer - Celui qui se sacrifiait - Celui qui ne savait pas flirter - Celui qui sauvait des vies - Celui qui jouait à la balle - Celui qui devait casser la baraque - Celui qui était à Las Vegas : 1re partie - Celui qui était à Las Vegas : 2e partie - Ceux qui revenaient de Las Vegas - Celui qui console Rachel - Celui qui était de mauvaise foi - Celui qui perdait sa belle assurance - Celui qui avait une belle bagnole - Ceux qui passaient leur dernière nuit

Coffre à Catch

#101 : Une belle petite pause dans un torrent de merde ! - #102 : Hornswoggle, Evan Bourne : le renouveau à la ECW ! - #103 : WWE Draft : la fin du Mercato d'été à la ECW ! - #104 : CM Punk et Mark Henry champions du monde !

Top Gear Saison 18, 17, 19

Spécial Journée Circuit - Made in China - Une course comme sur un green - La Vallée de la Mort - Une Lamborghini à la mer - Les pires voitures de l'histoire - Spécial Afrique : Première partie - Spécial Afrique : Deuxième partie - 1500 km à fond de 5ème

Spectacles

Un Chalet à Gstaad (2021) de Josiane Balasko avec Josiane Balasko, Armelle, Philippe Uchan, Stéphan Wojtowicz, Justine Le Pottier et George Aguilar

Livres

Friends, mes amours et cette chose terrible de Matthew Perry

Undertaker : Rise Of The Deadman de Rodrigo Lorenzo, Edu Menna, Serg Acuna et Chad Dundas

La renaissance des héros Marvel, Tome 7 : Phénix de Greg Pak, Greg Land et Kirkham

Catch : L'âge d'or, 1920-1975, l'épopée du catch français et les "Michel-Ange" du ring de Christian-Louis Eclimont

[gellavonhamster]

the eye of the storm, or a still life with pineapples

teen and up audiences (?) || Bertrand Baudelaire/Beatrice Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket + guest starring other ships and characters || pre-canon, canon divergence

ao3 link || originally posted in Russian

As famously said by a famous cartoonist and later by an even more famous musician and before them, probably, by many other famous and not so famous people, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. For example, less than half a year ago I was certain that in a little while, I would marry the woman I love, and dance with her at our wedding, which would be held in a place called the Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes. A few months passed, and here I was dancing at the wedding indeed, but not as a groom and not with the woman I dreamed to marry. However, she was also attending the party, and radiating beauty in her refined wedding dress just like in my erstwhile dreams. It was her wedding – her and another man’s, and I didn’t doubt that many guests were surprised I was invited and, on top of that, entrusted with reciting one of the wedding blessings. Then again, there weren’t that many guests: only the trusted long-time associates, most of whom both the newlyweds and I had the honour to consider our friends. Some of them were familiar with the events which had resulted in my bride marrying someone else; as to the rest of them, I hoped they were too well-mannered to whisper behind my back. On the other hand, if they decided to spread some gossip, I would not have minded it much. In these latter days, all kinds of things were being whispered about me behind my back, said out loud, and printed in the newspapers. If I had a chance to choose between the discussions of my love life and the accusations of crimes I had nothing to do with, I would have chosen the former without a moment’s hesitation. Unfortunately, in practice, there were two options: either both the former and the latter or just the latter, and I had no choice anyway.             

Even the celebration venue was not what I had expected. The Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes was undoubtedly very lovely at that time of the year, but just like many other gardens, libraries, restaurants, post offices, bookstores, and tailor shops, it had lately become unsafe for the members of our organization. It was far too risky to organize the wedding in a widely known place. That was why the ceremony itself, as well as the celebratory banquet, took place in a small hotel outside the City. It was called The Eye of the Storm, and that name was more than appropriate. “The eye of the storm” is an expression which means an area of calm weather at the centre of a hurricane, both literally and figuratively, and so the present celebration seemed a calm moment at the centre of the hurricane of feuds and treachery that was raging in my life, as well as in the lives of the groom, the bride, and all the guests. An attentive visitor would also notice another eye – the motif used in the design of the hotel, from napkin rings to the moulding on the ceiling. To paraphrase the definition provided above, one could say that the eye of the storm is an area at the centre of a hurricane where the world is quiet.      

“Snicket, wake up!” called the lady I was dancing with. “Do you want us to bump into someone?”

“Sorry. I got lost in thought. And we wouldn’t have bumped into anyone: you’re the lead.”

“And good thing that I am. For a moment I felt like I was dancing with a coat rack or something like that. You alright?”

“Of course I am, R,” I smiled at my partner who was none other than R, the Duchess of Winnipeg. “How about you?”

“I’m fine, L. You know me,” she smiled back, but I saw it in her eyes that just like me, she couldn’t stop her gaze from drifting to the bride, who was dancing with her beloved in the centre of the ballroom. “It’s been long since I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is how it’s going to end. It’s only that when I used to imagine all of this before, it was you, not Bertrand, and it was easier somehow. But it’s nothing.”  

When I first met R, she was yet to become the duchess and the renowned meteorologist and the multiple fencing champion of VFD. Back then she was just the daughter of the previous Duchess of Winnipeg, now deceased; just a little girl who had just got her volunteer’s tattoo and, being confused and a little bit scared, went to explore the infirmary in search of someone who would explain to her where she was, why she was taken away from home, and where her parents were. That evening, she didn’t find the answers to all of her questions, but she found a little boy – me – who, like her, had just been tattooed and didn’t understand what was going on. We were already friends when we met Beatrice, the woman whose wedding we were dancing at today. When we understood that both of us were in love with her, we promised each other that we wouldn’t let that circumstance ruin our friendship. There is an absorbing Gothic novel in which three friends propose to the same girl, and remain friends after she chooses one of them. Similarly, my friend and I both courted Beatrice, leaving it up to her to choose one of us and not expecting that in the end, just like in that novel, there would be three contenders for her heart, and it would be the third one that she would favour. One could only hope that at that point, the similarities with the novel would end, although taking into account Beatrice’s fondness for bats, she would surely be amused by the prospect of being turned into a vampire.        

“I do know you, R,” I confirmed. “And that is exactly why I am worried.”

“Oh, come on. If you want to know, today I feel much better than over the last two months combined. Look around, L: even in these trying times we’re surrounded by noble and trustworthy people. My dear friend got married and is happy. I am dancing at her wedding in a wonderful dress and in an excellent company, and who knows,” she winked at me, “perhaps it’s in that excellent company that I’ll meet someone who would help me to let go of the past at last.”

“You will meet – or you have met?” I asked, intrigued. My friend smiled cryptically. “Who is she?”

“Look to your left. See a beautiful girl in a peach dress standing by the window?”

The girl was beautiful indeed. Something about the features of her face seemed familiar to me but I didn’t know her name, which was what I told R.

“Sally Sebald,” she told me, with the same conspiratorial look. “The little sister of Gustav, our Monty’s new… assistant.”  

If “our Monty” had heard the way R had spoken the word “assistant”, he would have definitely pretended to be offended to the marrow of his bones. However, at that moment he was busy dancing with that very assistant. The music stopped, and the band bowed in response to the applause, then proceeded to flip through the sheets, selecting the next piece to play.    

“I’ll leave you for a while,” R announced. “I must ask her for a dance. Promise me you won’t just stand by yourself ruining everyone’s mood with your long face.”

“I promise. Go for it,” I squeezed her hand, wishing her luck. “And I’ll go grab a bite.”

With that, I made my way to the cold table at the opposite end of the ballroom. “Cold table” is an expression which here means “a buffet-style table with the dishes that the guests are expected to help themselves to” not a table that is cold to touch, although I couldn’t have had any idea if that particular table was cold to touch before I ever touched it. As I was eating mushroom tartlets, I watched the dancers. Here was my brother waltzing with Olivia Caliban, and there was my sister, talking animatedly about something to her partner during the dance – and looking, as I was pleased to notice, like after all the recent troubles and worries she was finally at peace. Some of the guests might have been watching her too and wondering who she was dancing with: Frank or Ernest? That was, of course, the wrong question, while the right question would have been “How many Denouement brothers are there, actually?” I shifted my gaze to R, who was dancing with Gustav’s sister, then to Gustav and Monty and then to Ike and Josephine Anwhistle and so, looking over the dancing couples one by one, I finally met Beatrice’s eyes as she looked at me over her husband’s shoulder. My heart sank. That ballroom was full of people I held in great affection, and still I had to abandon them tomorrow, to flee abroad in order to save myself and everyone who was closely associated with me and could get in the firing line because of that. I didn’t know when I would see all of them again. Just the thought of it made me suffocate with grief.        

“Snicket,” someone said. I turned around. There was a woman standing next to me, one that was different from the other guests for two reasons. Firstly, most of the invitees were the same age as the bride and the groom, while this woman was much older. Secondly, I have never met anyone with a hair as thick, long, and unruly, presently already greying. Even if she had tried to arrange it in some sort of a hairdo on the occasion of the party, all the pins and clips clearly were already lost, unable to tame this natural disaster. “Do you mind?”

“An interesting question. For a well-mannered person, there’s only one answer to it,” I observed, “which could be in equal measure correct or incorrect depending on how much…”

“Snicket,” my chaperone interrupted me, annoyed, “I asked because you’re standing by yourself ruining everyone’s mood with your long face. If you’re fine with being in such condition, I can leave you alone.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Theodora,” I objected. “Shall I pass you something? The salmon sandwiches are really good.”  

“Thank you, I’ve enough for now,” she showed me a full plate. For some time we stood there eating and not saying a word, enjoying the music, the meal, and, to the lesser extent, each other’s company. Finally, Theodora said what she apparently wanted to say from the start.  

“I grew wary when I saw you here, quite honestly,” she began. “I knew you were invited, as astonishing as it may be, but I was still surprised you’ve showed up. I’ll admit I feared that at the last moment you’d… pull some trick. I even told Bertrand about it, but he just waved it aside.”  

“Well, that just proves the student has surpassed the teacher when it comes to getting other people,” I shrugged. “I suppose you wouldn’t trust me, but I didn’t even think of ruining the ceremony. Believe it or not, I sincerely wish Bertrand and Beatrice nothing but happiness.”

“You’re a peculiar person, Snicket.”

“Am I? I thought I am insufferable and lack respect for my elders.”

“And that, too. It won’t ever cease to amaze me that you and Bertrand hit it off.”

My brain instantly came up with a couple of presumably witty responses concerning how well we hit it off indeed – the champagne might’ve been to blame – but I restrained myself. There were some things she’d better stay unaware of.

“Life is full of surprises,” I observed instead. Theodora looked at me dubiously.

“I’d like to believe you’re telling the truth,” she said. “That you really came here to congratulate them on their marriage, and not to wallow in self-pity or make them doubt they made the right choice. You’re a peculiar person, Snicket, and that is precisely why I feel I really might be right to believe that. Care to ask the old hag for a dance?”

“With pleasure,” I agreed. This conversation was somewhat upsetting me, and it appeared I was already failing to keep the promise I gave R anyway. “May I have this dance, Theodora?”  

The look on her face told me she was expecting some other answer, in which I would have pointed out, for instance, that I see no old hags here, but she still gave me her hand, and we went dancing.

 ***

 The celebration ended late into the night. Many kind words were said to the bridal couple, many wonderful songs were sung, and the young Quagmire, evidently inspired by the example of his friend Bertrand, seized the moment to propose to his beloved. Finally the time came for everyone to head home. I was hanging around the hotel lobby and making my adieus to the guests: some of them were waiting for their taxis to arrive while some preferred to make use of the secret tunnel that connected The Eye of the Storm to a number of VFD buildings in the City. I was bidding farewell to my friends: sometimes a handshake, sometimes an embrace, and sometimes simply an exchange of phrases which would’ve seemed nonsensical to the uninitiated. My future appeared to me full of uncertainty and loneliness, and the volunteer’s work kept becoming more and more dangerous with every passing day. If I was destined to never meet my comrades again, then I wanted to remember them precisely the way they were that evening: happy, content, elegantly dressed, and with a newly found confidence that we may still be bound to witness the victory of nobility, valour, and erudition over cunning, avarice, and bad taste.                  

“We’ll meet you by the road junction at nine,” my brother said, clapping me on the shoulder. He was obviously worried. I didn’t want him to worry about me – I was doing that myself just fine. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave earlier? You could get there in time to catch the…”

“It is highly likely that our enemies have infiltrated the crew of the Prospero. You know that yourself,” I didn’t let him finish. “I’ll take the train. Don’t fret about me, Jacques. Better try to get some sleep. Or…” I cast a sidelong look at Olivia, who was standing nearby and apparently waiting for my brother, “spend the time until morning the way you see fit.”

It was twilight outside The Eye of the Storm, but I had no doubts Jacques blushed.  

“You’re taking a lot of risk, L,” he said, displeased. “Are you sure it’s worth it? After all, everything has changed now…”

“I know,” I said. Deep down, I wasn’t sure indeed if it was a good idea. If it was appropriate now, no matter how much we wanted to believe it was. But I couldn’t act differently. Firstly, I had given a promise. Secondly, if I changed my mind, then – who knows – I might miss the last chance to feel happy that I’d get in my life. “I am only sure that if I leave now, I am going to regret it. See you tomorrow, Jacques.”  

He frowned but said nothing more and, after hugging me once again, got into the car and left. I headed back to The Eye of the Storm. My brother and Olivia were the last ones to leave; presently the only ones staying at the hotel were the employees and the newlyweds. I sneaked a look into the ballroom and saw them talking about something to the hotel owner. The bride laughed at something and took her groom – her husband – by the hand. I was standing there in the dusk and thinking: what if my brother was right? Wouldn’t it be better for me to leave before it’s too late – just like that, without saying goodbye? I shook my head, chasing these thoughts away as if they were circling me like Snow Gnats, and hurried to the second floor. At the very beginning of the corridor, a bored-looking hall porter was sitting on a chair and cleaning his nails. I approached him.  

“Mr. and Mrs. Baudelaire are wondering if the still life with pineapples displayed in the ballroom is for sale,” I said.

The hall porter raised his head to look at me.

“Unfortunately it isn’t. It’s the only thing our owner has to remember his late grandmother by,” he replied, and gave me the key from the luxury suite. There was no further conversation between us; I took the key and headed to the suite.  

I entered the room, closed the door behind me, and looked around. As it is commonly known, luxury accommodations differ from the regular hotel rooms in the number of amenities and the refinement of the furnishings. In the present case, one of the indisputable advantages of this suite in comparison to the other rooms was a bookcase with a great number of books on its shelves. I looked over the room, checking, among other things, the presence of weapons and fire extinguishing tools hidden under the bed in the event of the enemies of the bridal couple finding out where the wedding was taking place and deciding to pay a visit. Then I took a collection of poems by Oscar Wilde from one of the shelves and immersed myself in reading, hoping for once I wouldn’t get much time for that.          

Indeed, I didn’t have to wait for long. There was the sound of steps and voices, and the just married burst into the room – it struck my eye that they were still holding hands. They didn’t notice me because as soon as Mr. Baudelaire shut the door behind him, Mrs. Baudelaire pinned him against that very door and kissed him. Since she threw off her high-heeled shoes the moment she ran into the room, she had to stand on tiptoe to kiss him, which looked absolutely adorable.

I watched those two who had clearly forgotten at that moment about the world around. Without a doubt, the Baudelaires were a beautiful couple. Beatrice was lovely even wearing an old tracksuit covered in dirt after the annual orienteering competition held in the city sewers – presently, in a white and golden wedding dress, she looked like an angel. Bertrand, handsome and well-built, looked dapper in a cream-coloured suit with a tea rose on the lapel. I was feasting my eyes on the both of them, all the while racked by doubts as to whether I’d better withdraw through the window before they noticed me. I even started to reflect on how wide the windowsills of The Eye of the Storm were, but then the Baudelaire spouses pulled away from each other and finally realized they were not alone in the room. My presence did not surprise them in the slightest.          

“You’re here,” Beatrice said, and her face lit up with such joy that I shook all the thoughts about the windowsills out of my head.

I put the book back on the shelf.

“I asked the hall porter about the painting with pineapples,” I said. “It is not for sale.”

“What a pity,” Beatrice replied merrily, ran up to me, and kissed me on the lips.  

I was not destined to tie the knot and start a family. When I was engaged to Beatrice, I tried to ignore the thought of it but it was always with me, in some hidden corner of my mind. It was there when Beatrice accepted my proposal and in the early days of our relationship and when I was twelve years old and Theodora was telling me that her previous apprentice, the same young man who was half-smiling now as he watched me kiss his wife, would become a husband and a father, while all that awaited me was loneliness. I was not destined to find the happiness harped on about by writers and telenovela characters and the designers of those advertisement posters that featured parents and two children, always a boy and a girl, carelessly consuming cereals or ice cream. But I knew happiness of another kind, and while the creators of cereal advertisements would hardly be able to appreciate it, I suspected that some writers could have understood me. I was kissing the woman that wasn’t mine in the eyes of the law and the society yet still was mine as much as I was hers – that is to say, with all her heart and all her soul – and I was happy. That was more than enough.          

Beatrice pulled away from my lips.

“I was mad the whole evening I couldn’t just come up to you for no special reason,” she told me. “Couldn’t dance with you, not even once.”

“It is important that as many people as possible are sure we’re not together anymore,” I reminded her. “You have plenty of your own enemies, Beatrice. You shouldn’t have to deal with mine to boot.”

“I refuse to believe that any single one of the people who were here today…” she started, but stopped short. Perhaps she remembered how fragile the bonds of friendship can be, and in how much danger they can be put both by ambition and the sense of duty. Perhaps she remembered about the family whose manor she used to visit as a child and about a night at the opera and the poison darts; about the articles in The Daily Punctilio and the stolen sugar bowl. I pulled her close. I didn’t want her to think about those things on the day of her wedding.    

Bertrand coughed. I met his eyes, and felt Beatrice softly push me away. It occurred to me that kissing the wife right in front of her husband’s eyes is extremely improper, so when he approached me I decided to atone for my behaviour, and kissed him too. If Beatrice always kissed with all the fervour of the woman who could fight off a giant eagle with her bare hands, then Bertrand always did it with all the thoroughness of the man who enters a lions’ cage without fear because he has studied their habits in all detail and thought out all the actions required in case the situation gets out of control. I didn’t see Beatrice’s face the moment my lips touched Bertrand’s, but I knew she was smiling.          

I ran my hand over his chest and felt for the tea rose.

“Been wondering all evening if it’s natural or not,” I said. My head was spinning. I still hadn’t fully got used to the effect these two had upon me, and this might have been our last night together.  

“Artificial,” Bertrand said, took the flower out of the buttonhole, and put it into my pocket. “Take it. As a keepsake of this day.”

“Thank you,” I said. As I was looking at him, I hoped yet again that if Beatrice’s children (who were bound to be born one day: she’s always wanted to become a mother) take after their father, they’ll inherit Bertrand’s features, not mine. I wouldn’t mind to pass on the colour of my eyes or my hair, but certainly not my innate tendency to corpulence that created certain inconveniences when it was necessary, for instance, to exit the building through the basement window. As to Bertrand, he was outrageously good-looking from head to toe – I remembered vividly how it used to annoy me back when I had just met him. I used to be itching to hit him even though he never actually provoked me in any way. I didn’t want to admit for a long time that what was hiding behind that was simply the longing to touch him. “But I think that can wait. I am not leaving yet, after all.”      

“Will you stay till morning?” Beatrice asked hopefully.

“I am to meet Jacques and Kit by the road junction a mile from The Eye of the Storm at nine o’clock. They’ll take me to the railway station – not the nearest one, but the one after – where I shall board the train at nine twenty-nine.”  

“It’s five minutes to two now,” Bertrand observed, glancing at his wristwatch.

“About seven hours,” Beatrice said, taking a step towards Bertrand and me, and put her hand on my cheek. “Almost the whole night.”  

“Your wedding night, by the way,” I reminded. “Are you sure that…”

“Lemony Snicket,” she interrupted me petulantly, and slapped me on the lips lightly with the tips of her fingers, “yes, we are sure, we’ve discussed all that more than once, we told you the password that got you the key to our room for a reason. If the world was simpler and quieter, you would’ve been getting married today as well. Consider this as your wedding night too. And before you’ve managed to make some other silly statement: yes, we’ve discussed that as well.”  

I looked at Bertrand. He nodded without thinking twice.  

“The fact that Beatrice and I are married now doesn’t change a thing,” he said. “Remember that when you return to the City. You will return one day, won’t you, Snicket?”

I was about to answer honestly, “I don’t know”, but I just couldn’t.

“I’ll try to,” I said. That was also true. I would have given anything not to leave the people I loved more than anything else in the world, but since I had no other choice, all that was left to me was to make every effort to come back to them sooner or later.  

“All right,” Beatrice said. “All right,” she repeated, and it seemed to me I saw tears glisten in her eyes and I felt scared. She stopped me with a motion of her hand before I could say anything to her. “We’ll talk about that later. Are you feeling sleepy?”

“Are you suggesting I go to sleep, Beatrice?”

“I suggest you accept that you’ll only get to sleep on the train.”

With that she pushed me to the bed – a large bed, the kind that three people would fit on with ease. Beatrice moved towards me and I moved back until I fell on my back right on the blanket. Beatrice lifted her skirt a little and climbed first onto the bed, and then on top of me.    

“Careful, Snicket,” Bertrand said as he noticed that my hands slid under her skirt. He sat on the bed and bent over me. “She’s got a dagger in her garter. Sheathed, of course, but you never know.”

I grabbed the tip of his necktie and pulled him closer.

“How interesting,” I said. Beatrice was straddling me, rising a little and then pressing herself to me again, and I was moving towards her in sync. “Do you also have anything hidden underneath your clothes, Mr. Baudelaire?”

“See for yourself,” Bertrand offered, and kissed me.

The storm was raging outside the hotel, yet only figuratively. Clouds were gathering over all the fearless and well-read people who have dedicated their lives to science, literature, and keeping the world quiet. But I and those two that I loved were in the eye of the storm: literally, because that was the name of the hotel, and figuratively, because that night we weren’t thinking about the schemes of our enemies and the everyday dangers that befell our friends. I was happy in a way the one whose beloved has just married someone else rarely is, and here, in the eye of the storm, nothing could take that happiness from me – at least not until the morning.      

[visual-findings-disclosure]

👗 and/or 👓?

👗 (favourite costume from the series)

this is tough because there were so many fantastic costumes, but overall Beatrice’s dress + wings on the opera night were most beautiful. 

I loved how they gave Baudelaire's costumes in TPP that were inspired by Helquist’s illustrations. Also I loved the Cafe Salmonella salmon-waiter costume and Lemony in the Snow Scouts costume - so hysterical, yet so perfect. I can’t really choose the best Count Olaf costume, mostly because those wasn’t just costumes but all the physicality of the different characters that he played. 

👓 (favourite ship)

Although I'm not a dedicated shipper, I think that Quiglet is my favourite ship in a way. (and my 10 years old me favourite ship). It was one of my first ships if I can call it that. 

I also love Lemony x Beatrice, but mostly story-wise, how dramatic it was - and I like happy Lemony. But in the end, I think that Beatrice x Bertrand was a better endgame. I have similar feelings about Kitlaf and Kit x Dewey - I like how Kitlaf makes a dramatic backstory, but I think that Kit and Dewey would be happy together (if they weren’t dead :/). 

Oh, and I also ship the rare ship of Gustav x Jacquelyn (only in the series, not books) and in a way, Jacques x Olivia (again, only in the series) 

When it comes to ATWQ, I ship Cleo x Jake and, in a way, Moxie x Kellar - but like, when they are older cause they’re only around 13 and that is not really age for romance. But in my mind ATWQ doesn’t end with the last book, I like to imagine what happened next with the whole town- so there’s no problem. 

[calamitous-collection]

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Charles/Sir (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Dr. Montgomery Montgomery/Gustav Sebald, Beatrice Baudelaire/Bertrand Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket, Larry Your-Waiter/Jacques Snicket Characters: Charles (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Sir (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Gustav Sebald, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, Bertrand Baudelaire, Lemony Snicket, Beatrice Baudelaire, Jacques Snicket, Larry Your-Waiter Additional Tags: Fluff, First Kiss, Kissing, Alcohol, Smoking, Awkwardness, Pre-Canon, Canon Queer Relationship, Hugs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Snakes, Sleep, Awkward Conversations, Polyamory, Episode: s02e02 The Austere Academy Part 2, Hypothermia, Frostbite, Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fill, One Shot Collection Series: Part 25 of Cuddles, Part 215 of Tumblr Prompt Fills Summary:

A collection of ficlets featuring first kisses.

Cuddle number 25: with a first kiss

[mincentmango]

here's some Series of Unfortunate Events VFD members (from before the schism) incorrect quotes cause I recently rewatched the series :)

characters included: Josephine Anwhistle, Beatrice Baudelaire, Bertrand Baudelaire, Monty Montgomery, Gustav Sebald, Jacques Snicket, Kit Snicket, Lemony Snicket, Larry Your Waiter, and Count Olaf. (sorry if i've missed anyone!)

Colour Thingy (mainly for me to remember while writing this)

Josephine , Beatrice , Bertrand , Monty , Gustav , Jacques , Kit , Lemony , Larry , Olaf

(yes there will be jacques x larry content here they were in love and i will die trying to prove it. (there will also be lemony x beatrice here because i love them with my whole heart.))

----

Bertrand: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

Larry: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Bertrand: So blurple.

Larry: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Bertrand: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

Larry: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

----

Olaf: I'm totally useless :(

Jacques: You're not totally useless.

Jacques: You can be used as a bad example.

----

Beatrice: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Kit's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

----

Larry: Jacques is playing hard to get.

Larry: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

----

Lemony, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

----

Josephine: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Josephine: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Joesphine: I also want to softhack his circuits.

Kit: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

to be continued :)

----

Olaf: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Olaf: Not all this "how dif you get into my house" business.

----

Monty: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!! *aggressively throws water bottles*

Kit: Uh... what's up with him?

Gustav: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Monty: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!

Larry, crying: It's working.

----

Jacques and Lemony: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Lemony: WE NEED AN ADULT!

Jacques: Lemony, YOU ARE AN ADULT.

Lemony: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT!! GET KIT.

----

Kit: I have a problem..

Olaf: Kill it.

Kit: Can you chill for like, two seconds??

----

[beatricebidelaire]

like a noir movie scene

Jacques is standing on the train platform when Bertrand gets off the train.

~1.1k. Jacques Snicket / Bertrand Baudelaire. also features: Beatrice Baudelaire.

Jacques is standing on the train platform when Bertrand gets off the train. He's wearing a brown trench coat, and a newsboy cap of matching color, his head inclined downwards at an angle that passers-by can't quite see his face. His hands are tucked into the pockets of the trench coat.

Trench coats are fairly "in" this season, according to the Daily Punctilio, so Jacques rather blends in nicely without attracting much attention. On the other hand, Jacques has the talent of picking whichever outfit that's supposedly in at the current moment, and makes it look vintage on him when he's wearing it, as if it's always been a classic since the beginning of time. Some latest fashion will look like latest fashion, the edge of all trends, on certain people - the recently up-and-rising actress Esme is one, and Beatrice another - but Jacques makes anything look classic.

Or perhaps Jacques is just a classic, himself.

Well, that's Bertrand's opinion. Kit's opinion is "you're biased, B, because you're half-in-love with him".

The night is quite cool, and just a little foggy. Jacques is standing by one of the lampposts on the platform, one of the few spots that are more illuminated on this foggy night. The cigarette he's smoking might've dampened the effects of the warm light, though.

The train takes off again, heading to the next station. Bertrand walks a few steps towards the trench coat figure, and notices a smaller, far more petite figure just nearby.

Beatrice is quite miniature compared to Jacques's lankiness. She is wearing a big black hat on her head, on which an elaborate bat - not a real one - rests. She's wearing a tailor-made black dress and a dark red coat, both with a large number of pockets in which she can carry many things, ranging from her mini-dictionary she takes everywhere with her to assorted small weapons of various levels of destruction, including a box of darts and a bottle of poison that can be coated onto the darts. The hem of the dress is just right above her knee, which is the innest length of the season, and so are the pair of leather shoes she has on.

Beatrice Baudelaire, in contrast to Jacques Snicket who makes fashion looks vintage, makes fashion looks extra fashionable. The fashionable look is partly designed to distract people away from the danger she can pose, the incredible selection of weapons hidden underneath.

Kit's comment is that it "combines practicality with fashion, a very clever and neat design", and Bertrand's response is "sure, but since when do you care about fashion, K?"

But despite the incredibly fashionable in selection of Beatrice's and Jacques's outfits, Bertrand takes a look at those two and feels like he's in some kind of noir movie.

The fog probably plays some role, he thinks.

Jacques Snicket. Beatrice Baudelaire.

Detective and femme fatale. Except he's not her detective, and she isn't his femme fatale.

Passing by Beatrice on his way to Jacques, Bertrand discreetly slips a small packet into one of the pockets in Beatrice's dark red coat, but the two don't exchange a word. He continues towards Jacques, who finally raises his head and briefly nods at Bertrand, cool and succinct.

They leave the train station together.

Jacques and Bertrand, that is. Beatrice remains on the platform, waiting to take a train that will arrive in 10 minutes, where she'll board with the small packet Bertrand just slipped her, and continue to carry it towards the next destination.

The intricate methods of communications and delivery of VFD.

Jacques leads the way out of the station, Bertrand following, and they arrive at a nearby alley with an old taxi parked. It looks even more weary and worn than the last time Bertrand saw it. Jacques unlocks the taxi, and they climb aboard, but not before Bertrand puts his suitcase in the trunk first.

Jacques takes off the newsboy cap as he settles down on the driver's seat comfortably. Inside the taxi, he looks a little less like some noir detective image encapsulating loneliness of The City, and simply just the Jacques that Bertrand knows quite well.

The fashion column editor of the Daily Punctilio gives Bertrand a lopsided smile. "Hi, B," he says.

"J," Bertrand says, quite warmly, relaxing.

The taxi always has that kind of effect for him. He likes to think of it as an old friend, the way the Snickets are to him. Not quite a far-fetched comparison, considering the taxi's been in the family for quite a while. He's heard the story about how it dutifully carried Jacob Snicket and his bridge partner to an important tournament that they were almost late for, only arriving at the last minute.

"The only one that calls my father Jake," he remembers Jacques explaining at that time when he told the story, referring to the bridge partner.

Bertrand leans in now, closer to the driver's seat, and kisses Jacques. Quiet. Slow. Savoring and tasting and feeling and melting into it. Jacques kisses him back, equally slow.

The inside of the taxi is slightly warmer than outside, but not by much. The air more still, feeling more so now as things seem to slow down around them. Not that the world seems to be moving too fast on a night like this.

They break apart. Jacques turns the ignition key, and radio comes up in the background, and orchestral sounds fill the inside of the taxi.

Jacques Snicket is a man of classics, Bertrand thinks.

"Nice trench coat, by the way," Bertrand says.

Jacques smiles, just a little. "I thought so as well. It was my father's."

Bertrand raises an eyebrow. "Mr. Jacob's? It looks quite well-preserved."

"Yeah. I don't think he wore it much." Jacques says. "From the looks of it."

Bertrand suspects this is more just a deduction on Jacques's part - something Jacques's quite good at. Also because the Snickets don't really know that much details about the daily lives of their parents.

"Mmm. I heard that trench coat's back in again," Bertrand says.

"Thought it's about time," Jacques shrugs. "I've been wanting to wear this in public for a while." He puts his hands on the wheel, "So, to the hotel?"

"I was rather hoping to crash at your apartment tonight, actually," Bertrand says.

Jacques looks at him.

And then he smiles. "Of course."

He steps on the accelerator, and off they go.

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

What did the sugar bowl gen do with their commonplace books?

I realised that all of VFD must have had them, and then got to wondering what the individuals would have used them for and... I’m going to be honest, once again I had way too much fun with this and once again it got super long so I put everything under the cut

Beatrice

People watching. Each page is dedicated to a different person (sometimes people she knows, sometimes people she doesn't). The title is the date, location and either the subject's name or a brief description of them if they're a stranger ("woman. Big hat, dark glasses" etc). She'll write down little details and mannerisms that she notices, if they seemed stressed or happy or like they were hiding something. Later, she uses this to become a better actress, both on the stage and off of it

Olaf

Ruined it. Every time. He filled it with random thoughts, reminders to himself, shopping lists, anything - all in an awful chicken scratch that he could barely decipher later (if he ever even tried). He would spill things on it, use it as a coaster, and the pages would always be torn and crumpled. The others were horrified whenever they saw it and kept getting him new ones, but they all ended up looking just as bad within two weeks. He once went swimming in a filthy cannel while it was in his pocket, and Kit swears you couldn't even tell the difference afterwards

Bertrand

Inventions! Every time someone mentioned something that bothered them ("I wish we could just do X", "why is it so hard to do Y?") He would write it down on a clean double page. Later, he would try to invent a solution, and even go so far as to sketch out designs and list what he'd need to create it. Sometimes they resulted in incredible feats of engineering, but sometimes it's just a mostly blank page with a small coffee stain and a lot of half-erased pencil markings

Esmé

Records. If someone insulted her, it would be written verbatim in perfect handwriting, alongside their name and the date. If she revealed something about herself, she made sure she knew precisely who she told, and sometimes she'd make things up just to see who spoke about her behind her back. If someone told her a secret, it would be written in a code only she knew, based around what was In on certain days in the past (each correlating to a particular letter, and changing depending on the day it was written)

Lemony

Unfamiliar words. Ever since he was a child, every time he heard a word he didn't recognise (which, being raised in VFD, happened frequently) he would write it down along with the pronunciation. He'd try and guess at the meaning from context and write that down too, and every week he'd take a dictionary and copy out the correct definitions. This eventually evolved into his habit of defining the complex words he used so other people didn't have to do the same thing, because he found it rather tiresome

Jacques

When he was younger it was dedicated to his budding investigative talents, and he’d solves all sorts of mysteries that other people hadn’t even noticed were mysteries (including, most notably, that of Dewey Denouement - with the help of his sister, of course). When they graduated Prufrock, though, his books became focused on some very particular mysteries; the whereabouts and wellbeing of his fellow Volunteers. Lemony had the most pages dedicated to him, and Jacques was always determined to ensure the safety of the people he cared about (resulting in him sending letters to warn Jerome and investigating various accidents where someone claimed to have seen Lemony Snicket, or even anyone matching his description)

Kit

She writes down any quote that she likes, and precisely where she heard it. From books, plays, the radio, her own friends, or even overheard snippets of conversation from a stranger, she notes them down and will often spend hours at a time analysing them later. She refuses to admit that’s what she’s doing, though, and her frequent scribbling in her book has often been the topic of curious conversation among her friends

The Denouements

Anything about the other members of VFD. Stories, anecdotes, even a fleeting conversation - it would all get recorded to build up a picture of their fellow Volunteers, and so they all knew how the others saw them. To this end, they would make sure to distinguish between what people said and how they acted towards "Frank", compared to "Ernest". The triplets spent many nights comparing notes and ensuring that they could all imitate each other perfectly, if required. They kept up this practise well into adulthood, though Frank and Ernest stopped after the fire (or, more accurately, after they lost Dewey). Pretending to be twins suddenly felt so much worse when there wasn’t a third triplet in on the joke

Josephine

A bucket list. Every time she heard of something exciting that she wanted to try, she would add it on, and a surprisingly (and, some might say, worryingly) high amount of them were crossed off within the week. Her book was frequently damaged by her lifestyle, as she always kept it on her in case she got a new idea. For example, it sustained significant water damage from the time she went over a rather large waterfall in a barrel. The only reason the others didn’t mind too much about the state of her book was because it was practically pristine when compared to Olaf’s. After Ike’s death, she couldn’t bring herself to write in it anymore, and locked it away in her safe, refusing to even read about all of the dangerous things she once dreamed of doing, for fear of her old spirit overtaking her once again

Monty

Reptiles (obviously). He would plan expeditions in the back, and sketch new species he discovered with detailed descriptions and diagrams in the front. When the two sides inevitably met in the middle (which always ended up happening far faster than he’d anticipated) he would start a new one, but he had an entire shelf in his room exclusively for his old books, just in case he ever needed to refer back to any of them. The last entry in his final book was dedicated to adding extra supplies for his expedition to Peru - enough for three children to accompany him

Olivia

What other people liked. Every time one of her friends mentioned something they liked, or got excited when they saw something, she'd note it down in their page of her book. Every time she made a new friend, they'd get their own page. Favourite foods, songs, jewellery, clothes, places and just about anything else would be contained within those pages - including how they liked to be comforted when they were sad, or congratulated when they were happy (even going so far as to write if they preferred to talk about their problems or be distracted from them). She was, unsurprisingly, the best at gift-giving, and the others would always go to her for advice or companionship

Georgina

A coded book of everyone’s hypnotic trigger and release words, and their purposes. When she was younger, it used to be for any interesting piece of information she learned, but when she discovered hypnotism that became a far more productive use of her book. Because of it’s sensitive nature and comparatively small spatial requirement, she’s only ever had one book since she adopted this new practise, and she keeps it on her at all times. The most recent entry, if anyone had found the book and managed to decode it, would have involved Klaus Baudelaire and the word ‘inordinate’

[unfortunate-sapphic-disaster]

asoue abc’s

A: a series of unfortunate events/arson/ Al Funcoot

B: Baudelaire/Beatrice/Bertrand/books/bad beggining

C: Count Olaf/captain sham/couplets/coach Ganges/Caligari carnival

D: Denouement/Dewy decimal system/Duncan/duchess of Winnipeg/dunklaus

E: Ernest/Esme/”eagles aren’t mammals!”

F: Frank/fire!/Fiona/Fernald/Figley, my only hetero ship/for Beatrice...

G: Grim grotto/gay/”gum isn’t lunch, it insn’t even a snack.”

H: Hostile hospital/hookey/henchperson of indetermineate gender

I: “If you are interested in story’s with happy endings you’d be better of reading some other book”/Isadora/”I’d rather jump of a cliff”/”I’m married to the sea but my girlfriend is a large lake”/increadably deadly viper

J: Jacques/Jaqulyn/Justice Strauss

K: Kit/”keep chasing your schemes”/ “Klaus, it can’t understand you.”

L: Lemony/”look awaaaaay”/Lachramose leeches/lumber mill

M: marvelous marrige/miserable mill/”my name is Carmelitaaaaaa!”/

N: “No happy endings, not here and not now, this tale is all sorrows and woes”

O: Olaf is the woooorst!/Orwell is an optomistrist.

P: Phil is an optimist./”people aren’t either wicked or noble, they’re like chef salade.”/ “Perished means killed.”/ Poe

Q: Quagmire/Quigley

R: R

S: Snicket/slippery slope/sunny

T: “The world is Quiet here.”/

U: Unfortunate/Uncle Monty

V: Violet/VFD is not a cult/Viodora is the best ship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

W: when we drive you away in secret, you’ll be a volunteer, so don’t scream when we take you..../well read people are less likely to be evil/we didn’t lose our family, only our parents.

X: Xylophone is not an adjective, Bruce!

Y: Your parents have perished in a terrible fire./Yessica haircut

Z:.........Zippered?

Okay! That’s all of the letters, if you think of something to add you can tell me. This was fun, why can’t I be this creative everyday?

[the-golden-ghost]

A series of unfortunate events >:3

1. The first character I first fell in love with

Probably Charles since I read the series in the wrong order and so I read The Miserable Mill first. Charles was great and I love him. SO glad the Netflix series righted the wrongs done to him in the books by having him break up with Sir and start dating Jerome

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now

Dewey Denouement is my forever boy even though he's dead and only appeared in two chapters

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t

Never did like Esme Squalor, not even in a "love to hate on her" way. She mostly just pissed me off. A lot of people do enjoy her in that sense and I get the kind of "girlboss" joke going on with her but she never did anything for me.

I also hated Book!Carmelita but Netflix!Carmelita owns. I don't think many people liked Book!Carmelita though

4. The character I love that everyone else hates

Dunno if I have one of these, there aren't many beloathed characters.

I guess I love the Denouement triplets and most everyone kind of ignores them, but they aren't hated.

OH a lot of people hate Fiona for some reason and I enjoy her a lot. Widdershins, too. The Grim Grotto my beloved (seriously I love that book)

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer

Uh... hell I dunno. How about Jerome? I don't DISlike him but I don't like him as much as I did as a kid cause now he seems like more of an ineffectual loser

6. The character I would totally smooch

Kit but lbr who wouldn't

7. The character I’d want to be like

I don't want to be like ANY of these clowns

Okay maybe Jacques. In reality I'm more like Lemony though

8. The character I’d slap

ISHMAEL CAN CATCH THESE HANDS

FUCK that guy

9. A pairing that I love

Lemony x Beatrice, the only ship

...Though I also like Beatrice x Bertrand. It's complicated

10. A pairing that I despise

Sir x Charles is a bad ship and Charles deserved better

I also hate Kit x Olaf but mostly for personal reasons (the personal reason being that it just gets on my nerves)

[loo-nuh-tik]

What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi (1977) (x)

Jacques Dutronc – Hippie Hippie Hourrah (1967) (x)

[shiho-elliptic]

Crypto CTF 2023 Writeup (EN)

(日本語版: https://shiho-elliptic.tumblr.com/post/722392022714073088/crypto-ctf-2023-writeup-ja )

I participated to CryptoCTF 2023 as a team "ierae". we're placed at 13th (we completed all challenges, so the score is equal to 1st team's that).

My teammate's writeup: @ta1yak1_8926: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJbEomuF2

Solved by me

Bertrand (medium, 21 solves)

2nd solve.

We have an image file which is encoded the ciphertext. The encrypt function has been applied rotation to that, but rotation degree is only four patterns ($$90\times n\lbrack\deg\rbrack$$, $$n\in \mathbb{Z}$$) so we can enumerate the all cases. More, we can ignore sox because it used at image generation phase only.

The plaintext (= flag) and ciphertext corresponded byte-by-byte, hence this cipher can interpret as a transposition cipher. Further, It has a key-based sort process, but the key-length is only three bytes so we can enumerate all cases of that easily (It's only $$\lvert S _ 3\rvert = 3! = 6$$ patterns!)

I used the flag prefix CCTF{ as "known plaintext" for brute-force the key of that. the allover complexity is just $$256^3$$.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/717b44cc1c5cc8b0707a81b7b345cdc9

Insights (medium, 88 solves)

$$d$$ is uniquely determined from $$n$$ since d = next_prime(pow(n, 0.2919)). that's all.

Note: the difficulty of this challenge is "hard" at first. I thought "too easy for hard" at solved, but it was changed to "medium" later. lol

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/6ec91e35e4a974572ecb1d576d446ba0

Shevid (hard, 17 solves)

It's an instance of SIDH. We can apply Castryck-Decru attack. I wrote a script that used https://github.com/GiacomoPope/Castryck-Decru-SageMath and solved it.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/f5e694e2cf2233fccf3f199f60f45c6b

Barak (medium, 27 solves)

We have a Hessian curve. Hessian curve is birationally equivalent to Elliptic curve, so I transform given curve and points to corresponded Elliptic curve and the points on that. Marc Joye and Jean-Jacques Quisquater. 2001. Hessian Elliptic Curves and Side-Channel Attacks. was a good reference for me.

When transformed on the Elliptic curve, the base point $$P$$ holds $$\lvert P\rvert = 3083219685676632130193959041477461850061047352503612$$. Any its prime factor is smaller than $$2^{35}$$, therefore we can use Pohlig-Hellman attack to this ECDLP instance. In fact, I used ellog function of Pari/GP.

Nonetheless, We can't get the plaintext $$m$$ even solved ECDLP correctly. It caused by that holds $$m\lt \lvert P\rvert \lt p$$. so "actual solution" is formed "$$m = x _ 0 + n\lvert P\rvert$$" where $$x _ 0$$ is the solution of ECDLP and $$0\leq n\lt 25$$ ($$\because 24\lvert P\rvert \lt p \lt 25\lvert P\rvert$$).

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/cf112ddf554ea9d447dff31cb40731bf

Byeween (hard, 22 solves)

We have an ellitic curve $$E$$ and a point $$Q$$ on $$E$$. We need to compute ALL $$P\in E$$ that satisfies $$2P = Q$$ to get the flag.

In general, the two-division points of a point can compute by compute the roots of division polynomial for that. SageMath's division_points method1 uses that too. It can solve this challenge with fail a few times, because that can't compute the all solutions sometimes.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/deccae6523d5548086e237ee70f1ee42

Vinefruit (hard, 19 solves)

We need to collide the given hash function. the target hash function is defined by $$\mathrm{vinefruit} _ {p, o, m}(m) := f(p)$$, where $$(m _ i) _ {i = 1, \ldots, \ell}$$ is target message, $$(p, o, m)$$ is parameter, and $$f(x)$$ is

$$$ f(x) = ((o + m _ 1) x^\ell + m _ 2x^{\ell - 1} + \cdots + m _ \ell x) \bmod m. $$$

For simple, we fixed $$(p, o, m)$$ and omit that in below discussion.

Set $$\mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)$$ as a target to collide. In this situation, the challenge can transform to "Compute a $$x$$ that satisfies $$\mathrm{vinefruit}(x) - \mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)\equiv 0\pmod m$$" . In fact, we can reduce this challenge to an instance of Modular knapsack problem, so we can solve this challenge by LLL-reducing following lattice:

$$$ \begin{pmatrix} 1 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 0& p\cr 0 & 1 & \cdots& 0 & 0 & p^2\cr 0 & \vdots & \ddots & \cdots & \vdots & \vdots\cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 1 & 0 & p^{\ell - k}\cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 1 & c \cr 0 & 0 & \cdots & 0 & 0 & -m\cr \end{pmatrix} $$$

where

$$$ c = ((o + m _ \ell)p^\ell + m _ {\ell - 1}p^{\ell - 1} + \cdots + m _ {\ell - k + 1}p^{\ell - k + 1} - \mathrm{vinefruit}(00^\ell)) \bmod m $$$

and choose $$m _ \ell, m _ {\ell - 1}, \ldots, m _ {\ell - k + 1}$$ randomly as an initial state. In actual code, I decorated(i.e. weighted) to the lattice but omitted. We can collide the hash function by a message constructed by a vector, that is LLL-reduced basis of the lattice and all element of that is an unsigned 8-bit integer (i.e. it is the 0 to 255).

However, this strategy is not effetive when large $$m$$ because the constraint "unsigned 8-bit integer" becomes too hard. I decide to ignore the case of $$m = 2^{128}$$ and precompute the cases of $$m = 2^{32}$$ and $$m = 2^{64}$$ (Note: $$m$$ is only these three cases).

In this challenge, $$m$$ is determined for every $$\ell\in\lbrace\,35, 34, \ldots, 17\,\rbrace$$ so the probability of "All $$m$$ does not equals to $$2^{128}$$" is $$(2/3)^{18} = 262144/387420489 = 1/(2^{10.52932\ldots}) \gt 1/1500$$. Hence we can solve that with about 1500-times reconnect.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/bc5cf7f519ad28f2369625ad49bd9089

After the comptetition:

This attack is a second-preimage attack. However collision attack is enough to solve this actually. In addition, vinefruit function can interpret as rolling hash, so we can attack that using any famous implementation. In this strategy, It use the Closest Vector Problem to solve that whereas I used the Shortest Vector Problem.

Solved with teammates

Risk (medium, 35 solves)

Prime factorization is done by @ta1yak1_89262. but he stucked to solve the RSA with $$\gcd(\varphi(N), e) = 10728$$. I solved that using the cannonical map $$\mathbb{Z} / pq\mathbb{Z}\hookrightarrow \mathbb{F} _ q$$ and solve $$x^6 - A \equiv 0\pmod q$$ by SageMath's roots() method.

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/cfd56e9dd47c7f2041157ffb6bb7477c

Big (hard, 23 solves)

We know parameters $$a$$ and $$N = pq$$. Prime factorization is done by @ta1yak1_89263, I solved only after that.

For every bit $$b\in\lbrace\,0, 1\,\rbrace$$, Select $$\left(\frac{t}{N}\right) = 2b - 1$$ as randomly, and put $$c := t - a/t \bmod N$$. Since $$c \equiv (t^2 - a)/t\pmod N$$ so we have $$tc \equiv t^2 - a \pmod N \iff t^2 - tc - a \equiv 0\pmod N$$. all coefficients are known so we can solve that as an ordinary quadratic equation (over $$\mathbb{F} _ p$$ and $$\mathbb{F} _ q$$). CRT is useful.

If you interested in the theoretical details, see §4.1.1 Cocks' IBE ciphertexts in Anca-Maria Nica. 2020. Quadratic Residues and Applications in Cryptography. - https://profs.info.uaic.ro/~webdata/doctorate/NicaAncaMaria/Rezumat-En.pdf

Solver:

https://gist.github.com/elliptic-shiho/07b3440678135f0712d467925b9e81af

Afterwords

It's been a while since I played CTF seriously, and I could get a good result. Feel Good Inc.

However It's taking longer than it did before to solve challenge. I wanna participate to CTF as much as possible in this year.

https://github.com/sagemath/sage/blob/9.8/src/sage/schemes/elliptic_curves/ell_point.py#L886 ↩︎

Details: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJbEomuF2#Risk-122-pts-35-solves-Medium (in Japanese). ↩︎

Details: https://hackmd.io/@taiyaki/BJbEomuF2#Big-169-pts-23-solves-Hard (in Japanese). ↩︎