#jaemin x genderneutral reader

[nanasarea]

Once I Na Jaemin

Genre:  smut

Pairing: sub!Jaemin x dom!reader

Prompt: sub!Jaemin just can’t keep it in his pants 

Request: Hi there friend 🐻 not sure if requests are open but I'll send one in just in case, can I please request a sub!jaemin smut with choking and slapping?? Maybe some overstimulation?? xxx

A/N / WARNING: this is my first time writing smut and i decided to gender-neutralize it, if you get what i mean? Also if you’re uncomfortable with such themes, don’t read ahead. Also as of currently, all requests are open so feel free to send them in :) ALSO NOT PROOFREAD!

“Who taught you to misbehave like that?” You asked, watching as your boyfriend just smirked. 

“I would ask if you know what bratty subs like you get, but it seems as if that’s what you’re asking for.” you took a fist-full of his shirt and pulled him to the bed.

“I think my actions were clear enough, weren’t they?” He asked, innocently. 

“Don’t pretend to be pure now, kitten.” You replied.

“Pants off.” You commanded, watching as he quickly took off his belt and unzipped his pants. 

Once his pants were completely off, he started at you, wondering when you’ll start giving him his punishment. 

“If only I had something to tie you up with.” You sighed, causing his dick to flinch.

“Y-You could use your belt.” He reassured.

“Oh, is that right?” You ask, taking off your belt as he hungrily scanned your body. 

“Stand up, turn around.” You commanded, he eagerly obeyed. The feeling of your hand bringing his hands together and leather on his skin sent shivers down his spine. 

“All done, kitten.” You said, slapping his naked ass before turning him around to face you. 

“Lay down.” 

You got on top of him and started kissing him, your hand travelling from his hair all down to his exposed boner. He moaned into your mouth as you felt him grind his hips up. 

“Eager, much?” You asked with a smirk, starting to kiss down his neck. 

“Please, I need something, anything.” he moaned as he felt you making hickeys near his collarbone. 

“Hand? Head?” You asked.

“I want to be inside you.” He answered, desperately. 

“Only good boys are allowed that, and you’ve been a brat, haven’t you?” He sighed at your respond. After half a minute, you stopped kissing his neck and slapped him. 

“I thought I asked you a question.” You purred into his ear.

“If you slap me again, I’ll tell you.” He smirked. 

“Such a dirty brat.” You replied, slapping him harder this time. 

“Head, please.” He whined as you let go of him and told him to sit up a bit. You stroked him a few times before licking from base to head, causing a whiny moan to escape his mouth. 

“Please.” he whined. 

“Patience, baby.” You smirked as you kissed his tip.

After some more teasing, you decided to finally take him into your mouth, causing him to throw his head back and let out the prettiest moans. You could feel him thrust his hips up and pushed them back down onto the bed. 

“Behave.” You commented before bobbing your head on him again. 

“Oh fuck, that was hot.” He whined, making you smirk. You hummed, causing vibrations on his dick. Without thinking, his thrust made his dick hit the back of your mouth. 

“Didn’t I tell you to behave?” You asked. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t control it.” Jaemin replied with his eyes closed. 

You reached up to his neck with your hand and squeezed, causing moans of your name to leave his mouth. As you continued bobbing your head, you choked him harder every once in a while.

“Y/N, I’m close.” He announced, causing you to move faster and your hand to tighten around his neck. You felt his dick twitch before his cum filled your mouth. 

“oh fuck.” he moaned right as he came. He looked down at you, and you were still going, showing no signs of stopping, cum oozing out of your mouth and onto his dick, causing the overstimulation and the sight to drive him insane. 

“Please, no more, it-” his words were cut short as you took him out of your mouth, but continued to stroke him with your free hand and kissed him.

“See how good you taste, baby.” You said in between kisses, causing him to whine small “yes”s as you continued to stroke him. 

Soon he got hard again and you repeated the process of sucking him off and choking him while also playing with his balls with your free hand.

“I think I’m gonna come again.” He moaned as you took him out of your mouth and got up, leaving him speechless.

“Brats only get to cum once.” You winked and threw his pants and underwear into his direction before walking to the door. 

“Wait, I’m still tied.” Jaemin called out.

“Sounds like a you problem.” You smirked before leaving, making sure to erase and wipe off any proof of your previous actions off your face before joining his members in the living room.

“Did you have to be so loud? Jisung is probably scarred for life!” Renjun yelled, causing your eyes to widen. 

“And please go untie him, I’m not taking care of that.” Jeno commented as you rolled your eyes and made your way back to the room. 

“You really are the “no-fun” line.” You commented before entering the room.

A/N: ok this is so bad, I apologize, but I couldn’t think of any other scenario for thing, I hope you enjoyed it despite my lack of ability to write smut and thank you so much for requesting! :)

[calliopewritings]

only look at me

jaemin x genderneutral!reader

word count: 4.65k

you should’ve known. you mistook kindness for love.

warnings/tags: best friends to lovers (idiots to lovers), fluff, angst

songfic inspired by only - day6 !

-

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful you

I love you

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful you

I want you to know

My dedication to you

In this world

Perhaps you’re the one person

Who doesn’t know it

The amount of colour decorating the school hallways was almost hurting your eyes, several large “PROM!” signs plastered onto the walls, and decorative garlands across the ceilings. Your school really went all out for prom… and it wasn’t even prom night. In fact, prom wasn’t until next week, but the decorations couldn’t wait it seemed. Despite the excessive amounts of glitter stuck to any available surface, you found the corners of your mouth quirking up in fondness at the sight of several promposals being accepted. 

It wasn’t like your heart was made of stone and it was nice to see everyone smiling. There’d been no disastrous prom-related events yet, and you hoped it’d stay that way - you much preferred the promposals with happy endings. You won’t lie and say you didn’t gag at the couple excessively making out in the hallway yesterday, after a sweet promposal, but you’d rather have some not-so-PG-13 action than you’d have people holding back tears as they make a run for the bathroom. 

Grabbing some necessary books from your locker, you paid special attention to some students not far from you. The guy down the hallway, currently mid-promposal was in your Physics class, you knew him fairly well. When the girl accepted and pulled him in for an awkward - but sweet - hug, you smiled in relief. Must be nice, you thought. 

You were shaken from your thoughts when you sensed a sudden presence leaning on the locker beside yours. “What’s got my beautiful angel smiling today?” leaning softly on the locker was your best friend, a cheeky smile on his face. You huffed out a breath “you need to cool it Jaemin, my urge to resort to violence grows every day.”

“Guess I’ll have to try harder.” He pushed off the lockers and offered his hand, “May I lead you to Social Studies, love?” With a shake of your head, you accepted his hand. 

“Do you even listen?” He shrugged. “Your eyes say it all, baby,” he teased, pushing his face into yours, and your nose scrunched at the mere cheesiness. Your head told you it was stupid, he’d just delivered the most generic line ever, but your heartbeat picked up its’ pace and you couldn’t seem to calm it. 

The thing with Jaemin was, he looked at you with what seemed like all the love in the universe, and honestly, you probably did the same with him. Problem was, you weren’t sure that meant anything, at least not to him. He had always been the flirty type, he often made moves on you, but they never meant anything, that was just how he was. Besides, he cared immensely for everyone. That was one of the things you admired about him, his ability to care so much, even for strangers. He was always putting other people ahead of himself. He looked at everyone with love, you were sure. 

You turned your head to look at your best friend - he was already looking at you. Your eyes met his, and your breath hitched at the close proximity, eyes wide in surprise. You didn’t like it one bit. How your breath was ripped from your lungs whenever he came too close, or whenever you agreed to go to the arcade instead of doing homework, and he beamed that beautiful smile of his. You hated that he looked at you with stars in his eyes, and that he took your breath away, and that he held your hand whenever you’d stand next to each other. You hated it because you loved it so much. You loved him so much. But that also meant you could lose him, and you didn’t want to lose him - your best friend, your comfort, your Jaemin. 

So you turned your head again, breaking the eye contact and picking up your pace, as you entered the classroom which you’d reached. Jaemin followed as you took a seat at the back, and he watched as you brought out your book and your colour-coded pens. You felt his gaze. He looked at you with love.

-

You always

Follow my gaze

With uncertainty in your eyes

Packing your notes back into your bag, you got ready to leave school for the day. You and Jaemin lived close to each other, so you always walked home together. At the cross-section where you had to part ways, he’d always give you at least two flying kisses and a not-very-threatening threat to text when you’d gotten home. 

You knew his last lesson of the day was Math, so you went in the direction of his classroom to find him. As you were about to round a corner, you recognised the voice of your best friend speaking. Under normal circumstances, you’d keep walking, but his words made you stop dead in your tracks. 

“Will you go to prom with me?”

Heart in your throat, you dared to sneak a peek at the scene. One second was all you needed, you knew the girl. She was in your Literature class - Jieun - very sweet, caring, fun. You’d never heard a single bad thing uttered about her. You were sure they would look good together, no doubt she’d treat him well. You wanted him to find someone who would treat him well. 

So then, why was your vision slowly blurring? 

However, it wasn’t the person he asked that caught your attention, it was the way he looked at her. He looked at her with love. You should’ve known. You mistook kindness for love. You left in a hurry.

-

Baby, you are my only love

My love is not two

There is only one

So no need to worry, love

I wish you could entrust yourself to my love

And only look at me

“I’ll message you later, then?” You walked side by side with your new partner for the literature assignment. You managed to discuss it a bit as you made your way to the cafeteria. “Sounds good, Jieun,” you agreed, and the girl smiled back at you with an enthusiastic nod of her head. 

You spotted Jaemin at your table, out of the corner of your eye, and just as Jieun was about to part from you and go to her friends, you placed a hesitant hand on her arm. “Uh, do you- do you maybe want to join us for lunch? I-I mean Jaemin and I?” and immediately feared her answer. It was already clear to you, the way she’d be smiling at him, and he’d smile back at her, and it would be sickeningly cute. Maybe he’d hold her hand - he usually held yours - and they’d share food - he always gave you the sweets on the side “they’re almost as sweet as you” he’d add - they’d make a good couple…

To your surprise, Jieun gave a shake of her head, smile still bright, “It’s okay, I won’t disrupt the two of you. Besides, one of my friends owes me lunch.” And then she was off, hurrying towards her own table. Perplexed, but relieved, you went to take a seat with Jaemin, who greeted you with a big smile. 

You finished your lunch faster than usual. His heart eyes were becoming increasingly suffocating to you. 

As you and Jaemin got up and started walking to the next class, you were stopped by someone behind you. “I-I’m sorry but-” the guy looked a little nervous as his eyes flickered between you and Jaemin, and rested for a while on your linked hands. Then he took a deep breath in and looked straight into your eyes. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a second?” Your brows furrowed in slight confusion - Jaemin’s hand tightened around yours. 

The guy’s pleading eyes bore into yours and you could tell he was nervous about something. Letting go of your best friend’s hand, you gave him a small smile, “Go ahead, I’ll be right there,” you assured, and he hesitantly left in the direction of the classroom. 

You focused your attention on the stranger in front of you. “How can I help you?” you asked, a small smile on your lips. He nervously shifted his weight, “You probably don’t know me, and uh- uh we don’t have any classes together, but… I- uh- I’ve seen you around and I think you seem really nice so…-” he visibly gulped and your brows furrowed even further. When he spoke again, he did it so quickly you barely registered it, “WouldYouMaybeWantToBeMyDateForProm?” and he ended it with a nervous chuckle. 

It took you a couple of seconds to register it fully - and then you felt awful. You didn’t want to reject the guy, he seemed sweet. What if he cries? You couldn’t do that to him, no way. But then… you also couldn’t accept. It wouldn’t be fair to him - not when you knew who you’d be thinking of on prom night. 

You looked into his shaking eyes and forced the words out of your mouth. 

“I’m sorry, but… I’m not really looking for a prom date,” you told him. It wasn’t really a lie. Well only partly at least. You were in fact looking for a prom date, but only if he went by the name of Na Jaemin. 

He gave sad smile in return. “Ah, that’s okay. Honestly, I was kind of expecting this outcome,” he rubbed his neck anxiously as his eyes flickered back and forth. Then he cleared his throat, “But hey! If you find yourself in need of a dance partner at prom, feel free to approach me.” You let out a small chuckle, “Of course,” you assured, and his eyes lit up, the sad smile from before dissipating.  

When you settled next to Jaemin in class, he looked a little distraught. You linked your pinky finger with his, which was resting on the desk, and gave him a curious look. “Everything okay?” He merely gave a tight smile in return and turned his attention to the teacher who’d just entered. With a small frown, you did the same and directed your attention to the board. However, your mind was on your best friend. Maybe something was wrong… 

You tapped his hand with your pinky and you saw his eyes flitting to you. “Want to go to the arcade today?” you offered, hoping to cheer him up, and it seemed to work. His gaze was once again on you and the corners of his mouth lifted a little. His eyes filled with love. You didn’t mind this time, you just didn’t want to see him down. You wanted him to keep looking at you like that. 

-

Why would I look at some else?

When the person right in front of me

Is the most beautiful being

In the entire world

It was raining, and it was raining hard. You’d just gotten up to leave for the day when the rain started violently pouring from above. Umbrella in hand, you rushed to get to the gym hall where Jaemin would be. It was located away from the rest of the building, to get there you’d have to run through the rain, which was fine for you - you had the umbrella. However, Jaemin did not have an umbrella. He’d given his own to someone else that very morning when the rain has been light, as he noticed they were trying to shield their face from the rain with their hands. With no umbrella, he’d merely snuggled under yours and you’d shared. 

You and Jaemin usually met at the front gate, and you had no doubt that, despite his lack of shield against the harsh rain, he’d run outside just to get to your meeting spot. So you ran for the gym hall. Luckily, your teacher let you off a couple of minutes before class ended, so you hoped you’d be able to reach him before he stupidly walked into the rain and caught a cold. 

You got there just in time - he was just about to step into the rain when you reached him. He looked surprised to see you there and rested a comforting hand on your shoulder as you put your hands on your knees and caught your breath. “Y/n? Did you run here?” You huffed out a small “Yes,” as you regained your posture, having caught your breath. He sent an amused smile your way and you sent a bright one in return. His smile took away your breath, just as it always did, but you were just happy to have gotten there in time. 

You opened up the umbrella you’d carried, and he stepped under it with you. 

“Thanks, Angel.” You turned your head to see him still smiling at you. He looked at you with love. His hair stuck lightly to his forehead, probably from showering after PE, but the rain had wet his skin slightly as well. Quite simply, he looked ethereal to you (he always did though). Your breath caught again, and your heart sped up like crazy as you took in the sight of your best friend. You looked at him with love too. 

-

You also know in your heart

That I can’t lie

I think you feel my sincerity

A squeal pierced through your ears and you grimaced at the sound. Your friend, Sooyoung, grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you lightly. “You look just dashing! Want to get married?” with a chuckle you gestured for her to turn around, “Just let me zip you up, silly.” 

Prom night arrived quicker than expected - to be honest, you’d been fearing it a bit. You didn’t want to worry about Jieun and Jaemin slow dancing, gazing lovingly at each other, which is why you made Sooyoung promise to not leave your side. 

You zipped up her dress and she immediately sat the two of you down on the bed. “Do you want me to rig the votes? I can make you and Jaemin win?” you noted that she sounded a bit too excited at the prospect and quickly denied. “No way! He’s there with Jieun!” 

Your friend let out a sigh and went to put on her earrings, “If you say so Y/n. Just let me know if you need anything, I’m not opposed to crime either, you know.” With a chuckle, you threw a nearby pillow at the girl, “Don’t make me an accomplice when you actually commit a crime one day, Sooyoung.” She merely smiled at your remark and threw the pillow right back at you. “But that’s what friends are for!” And she pulled you into a hug which had you both toppling over on her bed. 

At least you’d have Sooyoung by your side tonight - someone to take your mind of Jaemin and Jieun and the way they’d look perfect next to each other. Maybe their parents are taking cute photos of them right now… Maybe they’ll be leaving in Jaemin’s car soon… Maybe she’ll sit in the passenger seat, which is usually reserved for you. At least she’s sweet. She’ll be so good to him. She’ll look at him with love. That’s good… Right? 

-

I have no thoughts of sharing this love

With anyone other than you

I am ready only for you

The over-the-top decorations in the hallways were clearly just a small appetiser to the real deal because the school gym hall was absolutely stuffed with decorations and - though the amount of glitter that adorned the room made you fear you might choke and die on it - you were stunned at how pretty it was. Tables filled with snack and drinks placed on your left, Sooyoung on your right. She nudged you with her elbow, “Let’s pillage the snack table,” and then she was pulling you by the hand with newfound animosity in her eyes. 

After half an hour by the snacks, you were able to convince Sooyoung she’d stolen enough already. “I could’ve fit at least three more mini pizzas in there, you know, and those are heavenly the day after,” she complained, and you gave her arm a weak slap. “I’ll buy you as many mini pizzas as you want, as long as you stop stuffing them in your bag,” you assured her, and she turned you to look at her, pinky in the air. “Pinky promise?” With a nod and an amused smile, you linked your finger with hers. “Pinky promise.”

Distraught by Sooyoung, you didn’t notice Jaemin and Jieun talking nearby, nor did you notice his eyes on you the entire time. 

With Sooyoung in the bathroom, you’d sat down at a vacant table to relax a bit. You jumped in your seat, startled, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Whipping your head to see who the owner of the hand was, you were surprised to see Jaemin standing there with a sheepish smile. “Care for a dance?” He offered his hand to you. Slightly stunned, you slowly took his hand and got up. Is it wrong? He was there with someone else after all. Where is Jieun? 

He led you to the dance floor and gingerly placed his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer. Once again, your breath hitched at the proximity but you didn’t dare to make eye contact. Uncertain hands snaked around his neck and settled there. “How’s your night so far?” he asked with a smile as he made you do a small twirl. The twirl caught you off guard, and you found yourself smiling at the unexpected move. “It’s been good. Apprehended a criminal earlier,” you replied, and he chuckled. “Yeah, I noticed Sooyoung’s not-so-subtle theft.”

As the song slowly came to an end, you couldn’t take his gaze on you anymore. “Don’t look at me like that,” you told him - harsher than you intended, but just as you were about to apologise, his face inched closer to yours. “Like what?” he teased. You didn’t respond - not verbally at least. Your body was screaming at you, responding in almost every way possible. You merely turned your head to the side. His gaze, which you barely caught out of the corner of your eye, turned from teasing to worried. “Angel?” You hummed in acknowledgement, and he let out a sigh. “Want to get out of here?” he offered, and you turned to face him again, head tilted in confusion. What about Jieun? “What-What about your date?” you asked, incredulous, and you’d never seen your best friend look so perplexed. “I don’t have a date?”

Your heart twisted in stupid hope, and you tried to stop it. He doesn’t have a date? How? Where is Jieun anyway? You searched the room for said girl, but couldn’t spot her anywhere. Did she reject him? No way, right? With a million thoughts floating through your head, your best friend shook you back to reality, and you noticed his curious eyes on you. 

“You really don’t have a date?” you asked again, and he shook his head. “Ok then,” you gave a nod. “Let’s go.”

You expected him to smile and lead you out then, but you could tell he was now battling something in his head. Mouth opening and closing, he asked a hesitant question. “What about yours?” Your head tilted in confusion again. “My… what?” 

“Your date.” He said as if it were obvious, and you let out a noise of confusion. “I don’t have a date either. Why would I have a date? Who would even be my date?” you spluttered, flabbergasted at his assumption. Jaemin looked just as surprised as you did, completely frozen it seemed. He slowly regathered his wits again, and took a hold of your hand, “Well, let’s go then.”

Don’t worry

This love is yours

There is no one else for me but you

Hold onto me tightly with both hands

And please don’t let go, you

You entered Jaemin’s car, taking your usual spot in the passenger seat. Jaemin never drove to school but sometimes he’d stop by your house and insist you join him for a trip to the beach. Countless hours were spent in the passenger seat of his car - on sunny days, with the radio on, and full hearts.

He started the car and rolled onto the road, you knew exactly where he was going. Your town had a secluded hillside - like one from a horror movie, where the kids get murdered, except this one was beautiful and safe and it reminded you of Jaemin. He first took you there, when someone at school had thrown their drink at you because you refused to do their homework for them. You didn’t want to see anyone that day, so Jaemin took you to the hillside and assured you no one would disturb you there. Back then, he didn’t have the car, you were kids, so he’d grabbed you by the hand and started the 15-minute walk… That was many years ago.

“Why don’t you have a date?” he asked, and you turned to look at him. His eyes were on the road. You let out a small giggle at the question. “What do you mean?” You noticed his lips slowly turning into a pout. You knew he wasn’t aware of the cute pout forming on his face - you took your time admiring him. 

“I just- That guy… That day in the hallway. I was sure he’d ask you out,” he told you, and you unconsciously bit your lip. “Yeah, he did,” you admitted, and his head turned to you for a quick second, before flitting back to the road. 

“Then why-”

“I didn’t really know him,” you told him. Again, technically not a lie. He slowly nodded in understanding. He pulled onto a more secluded road, and you knew you were nearing the destination. 

“What about you?” You turned to look at him, “Why don’t you have a date?” His mouth opened as if to speak, but he closed it again. You decided to speak up then instead, “To be honest, I overheard you one day in the hallway,” you told him, and his face contorted in confusion. “I heard you ask out Jieun, Jaemin.” The car was silent for a moment, you waited for him to speak up. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to listen in on it. I don’t know why you two are not here together, but whatever the reason is, you should know that anyone would be a fool to reject you and-”

“You think I wanted to bring Jieun to prom?” he asked, incredulous, as the car came to a stop at the destination. Perplexed, you looked at your friend, “Why else would you ask her?”

You saw him hesitate for a second, before he stepped out of the car, and walked to the viewpoint. You followed him. 

“I was practising asking someone else out,” he told you, with a blush slowly spreading across his cheeks, and looked at your best friend in slight wonder. “You looked at her very fondly though,” you shrugged, and focused your attention on the city below you. You sensed his eyes on you. 

“Why would I look at someone else, when the person right in front of me, is the most beautiful?”

One second. Two seconds. You lost count. Did he- Did he say that to you? No one else is here. No way. You turned to catch the gaze of your best friend - your breath hitched and your heart beat so loud you couldn’t hear anything else. He looked at you with so much love, he always did. So why does it seem different now? You never wanted him to stop. You caught his eyes flickering - to your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips - as if he were trying to read you. He was nervous. 

“J-Jaemi-”

“I can’t think straight with you,” he interrupted. The world spun a little faster around you. “Angel, you are my only love. There is no one else for me but you. I thought I made it obvious, but- perhaps you’re the one person who doesn’t know it,” he let out a soft chuckle, and it tugged on your heartstrings and warmed your cheeks. Your hands itched to reach out and hold his, but you stayed put. 

“Jieun offered to help me practice. I was practising asking you out.” His eyes settled on the ground, head low, he looked like a child being scolded. “I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same. I- uh- I just wanted you to know, you know?” he softly kicked a rock on the ground as he rubbed his neck anxiously. You could do nothing but stare at him in adoration - you’d never seen your best friend like this before. You should’ve known. You mistook love for kindness. 

“Even if you- If you don’t feel the same, I’ll always be here for you… If you want…” and his eyes slowly looked up to meet yours. Questioning gaze boring into yours. You weren’t sure how you were looking at him, but perhaps it didn’t quite radiate the overwhelming warmth he’d caused all over your body, because he seemed embarrassed, stuttering out another apology. “I-I’m sorry, I’ll give you some space, I shouldn’t have-” but you didn’t let him finish his sentence. Instead, you gave in, and let your hands reach out to grab his, as you used the grip to pull him closer to you. When your chest pressed against his, you heard his breath hitch - you weren’t sure how long you’d been holding your own. Your arms wrapped around his waist as you hugged him tightly. 

“The last thing I want from you is space,” you told him honestly, and pulled back to look him in the eyes. His eyes were still a pool of uncertainty, and you realised your response hadn’t cleared up your feelings very well. Though you had to wonder if he couldn’t feel your heart beating wildly against his own. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, hoping to bring the nervous boy some comfort, and then you kissed him. 

The kiss was slow, but sure, and the moment your lips met, you felt him exhale into the kiss. His arms relaxed around you, and his nervousness faded bit by bit. Letting the hand that wasn’t caressing his cheek, pull him closer by the neck, you deepened the kiss. You didn’t want to part ways until you’d made sure there would be no space to doubt, just how much you loved him back. In turn, his arms tightened around your waist and you were pulled flush against him. 

You wanted to keep going, to shower him with kisses, but you couldn’t help your happy giggle, and he soon followed. With lovestruck smiles on your faces, you both pulled back, foreheads resting against each other. “My love is yours, Jaemin, all yours.” 

He let out a boyish giggle and hugged you tighter. “My angel is all mine,” he teased with a cheeky smile and you fake gagged at his antics. He only smiled brighter as he brought you in for a kiss. When you pulled away, you caught his gaze. You looked at each other with love. 

I got only one love

Not two

For you

I got only one love

Just the one

I got only one love

Not two

For you

I wish you could entrust yourself to my love

And only look at me

[give-seconds]

I Love You

This is part two of my Jisung fic for A Vibe collab! If you haven’t read part one, here it is!

Paring: Jisung x genderneutral reader

Warnings: Death of a parent

Summary: In which you’ve been obsessed with the idea of meeting your soulmate since you were born, but your soulmate doesn’t think the same.

Word count: 19.9k

---

It’s been a month and a half since you found out Jisung was your soulmate. It took a week of Chenle’s magic counseling (his words, not yours) until you were able to stop avoiding him and Jaemin. Chenle made you realize that even if they had something now, Jisung was your soulmate. The more you got to know each other, the easier it would be for you two in the future. No matter how far away that future is.

After that week, you had to slowly condition yourself to be around them. It wasn’t easy at first, and it took you a few days to be able to look Jaemin in the eyes. Even though it took a month for you to be semi-normal with them again, they never pushed you to spend time with them. Of course, they still made offers for you to join for certain activities, and Jaemin made sure to let you know you didn’t have to do anything you weren’t comfortable doing.

In short, you quickly realized what Jisung saw in him. If you didn’t know who your soulmate was, you might have wished he were your soulmate.

“If you were to give someone an ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so weird lately, but thanks for being so understanding’ gift, what would you give them?” you ask into the phone.

“I don’t know, man. If you ask me, you don’t even need to get them anything,” Chenle answers.

“But you don’t understand,” you sigh, picking up a bar of chocolate and flipping it over to look at the back, “I’ve been so distant from them. They’re my only friends here, and I’m thankful they didn’t drop me after I left during that first lunch. I mean, I ghosted them for like a week or two. If I were them, I would’ve dropped me.”

“Okay, okay, I get your point. Get them a flower or just a card. Oh, offer to buy them lunch.”

“I already got them lunch, but I want to give them something more. So maybe a plant or something?”

“Unless you don’t like plants.”

“Why would you say that?” you laugh, stepping to the side of the aisle to try and stand more out of the way.

“I don’t know! Just buy them a fake one. That way, if they like plants, they can have one that looks like one. If they don’t like them, then they don’t have to worry about keeping it alive.”

“Have I ever told you how useless you are in these situations?”

“What can I say? I’ve never been in this situation before. So you have fun, and I’m going to enjoy sitting at home with my ice cream.”

“Completely, utterly useless.”

“If you’re done hurting my feelings,” he says, and you hear the sound of clinking as he picks a spoon from the drawer, “I have ice cream to get back to.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “Fine. Abandon me, like you always do.”

He chuckles. “Finally, I can’t wait to be rid of you.”

You smile to yourself, rolling your eyes at his words. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Was that your soulmate?”

You jump, spinning around to meet the person behind you, hand held against your chest. “Why did you do that?”

Jisung smiles. “I had to let you know I was here somehow.”

“And just saying ‘hi’ was too hard?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “There’s no spark in that.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “There’s a reason Jaemin and you get along so well, and I think that’s a big part of it. But uh—” you look away from him, turning your body to look at the same bar you looked at earlier “—no, that wasn’t my soulmate. Just my best friend.”

He nods, his eyes wandering around the aisle. “You two seem close. And before you worry too much, my English isn’t good enough to follow the rest of the conversation I heard, which wasn’t much to begin with.”

You smile softly, not taking your eyes away from the chocolate. “We are. We grew up together. He’s in China now, so I don’t see him that much,” you place the bar back on the self, turning to smile at him, “but I make sure to call him often so he can’t forget me.”

It shocked you for a second, Jisung asking you if someone else was your soulmate. You forgot for a second that you are the only one between you two who knows of the connection between you two.

“Sounds about right. If Jaemin moved to another country, I think I’d do about the same thing.”

“I’m glad you understand.”

“So what are you doing here?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Oh, I’m looking for a gift to give my classmate. It’s his birthday coming up, but I don’t know him that well, so I was thinking of a plant? Do you like plants?”

He tilts his head from side to side. “Eh, kind of. I like how they make a room look though; they definitely spice things up.”

“Well, how about, if you’re not busy, you come and help me pick one out? His personality kind of reminds me of a mixture of you and Jaemin.”

“Sure. I was just here looking because I’m bored, so it’s not like I’m in a rush.”

“Weird, but okay.”

“Says you!" he exclaims, following you as you leave the aisle and walk towards the plant section. "You’re here buying a plant for a guy you barely know.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

---

“Hey y/n, on Friday, Jaemin and I are going camping to celebrate the end of summer. Would you like to come with us?”

After you gave them the apology plants, Jaemin and Jisung had, of course, accepted your apology. It had turned more emotional than you thought it would, with Jisung telling you he didn’t have a lot of friends outside of you and Jaemin, and he was thankful you still wanted to stay friends. Jaemin agreed, saying he was worried they had pushed you away. He further went on to call you stupid and say you had nothing to apologize for.

“For how long are you thinking?” you ask, not looking up from the table you are wiping down.

“Just for the weekend,” Jisung answers, spinning himself on one of the stools that sat at the counter. “We’d be back Sunday night.”

You nod your head, dropping the rag back into the bucket and grabbing the spray that sat next to it. “Yeah, that sounds fun. How far out are we going?”

“It’s about three hours away. But Jaemin is going to borrow his friend’s car, so we don’t have to take a bus or anything. He’ll be our personal driver.”

You snort, shaking your head slightly as you walk into the backroom to put the cleaning supplies away. “Sounds good,” you yell.

“It’ll be fun,” he yells back so you can hear him. “We’ll all share one tent, and I'll be sure to put you in the middle so you feel safe and sound."  

“Tell me why that makes me feel more unsafe?” you ask, leaning on the counter next to him.

He shrugs, smiling innocently. “Because you have an active imagination and a low opinion of us.”

You pretend to think for a second before nodding your head in agreement. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

---

“You guys will never guess what just happened,” Jaemin exclaims, drawing your attention away from the card game in front of you.

“Sounds like the walk to the main office was more exciting than I thought it would be,” you joke, placing your cards face down on the metal table.

“Yeah,” Jisung answers, placing his cards on the table opposite yours. “I thought Y/n teaching me how to play spoons would be the most eventful thing, given it is the most stressful card game I have—”

“You’re just weak. Spoons is the best game—”

“You’re a psycho.”

“Psycho!”

“I’m hijacking this conversation to bring the attention back to me,” Jaemin interrupts, taking a seat next to Jisung. “Are you ready to hear the best thing to ever happen to me?”

You smile, happy to see your friend practically vibrating from happiness. “Yes, Jaemin, don’t keep us waiting any longer.”

“Are you ready Jisung?” he asks, hugging his arm excitedly.

“Yes, yes I am,” he laughs, trying to pull his arm away.

“Okay, okay,” he takes a deep breath, shifting his eyes between you and Jisung, “I met my soulmate while at the main office.”

You immediately look over to Jisung, watching as his smile slips off his face, watching again as he forcibly puts it back on.

“That’s great, Hyung. I’m so happy for you.”

“Yeah, Jaemin,” you force your gaze away from Jisung to look at Jaemin, smiling softly at him, “that’s great. What are they like?”

You’re thankful Jaemin can’t see the sad look in Jisung’s eyes or hear the forced happiness. You know Jisung must be hurt, and as his friend, you can’t help but feel bad for him—even if he is your soulmate.

“She’s absolutely wonderful,” he gushes, hugging Jisung’s arm tighter. “She’s here with her friends, and she was going to the main office when I was on my way back. Up until now, I didn’t know what my mark was. But when I made eye contact with her, everything except her lost its color. She was literally the light of my life for five seconds.”

You smile, the soulmate enthusiast in you pushing away the pain you feel for Jisung. “That sounds beautiful Jaemin, congratulations.”

“Thank you y/n! Also, and if it’s okay with you two, I was going to take her to dinner tonight to get to know her better. Is that okay?”

“Of course, have fun on your date Jaemin.”

Jisung nods his head, effectively pulling his arm away from Jaemin. “Yeah, go have fun Hyung.”

Jaemin smiles widely, pulling Jisung into a hug. “Thank you both so much. I know I set out to find us a dinner place and am now leaving you, and this is our first day here, but I’ll send you a list of some nice places that are within walking distance. And if you don’t want to go out, we have food in the cooler.”

Jisung nods his head, smiling sadly. “Yeah yeah, we got it Hyung. Go have fun.”

He nods his head, smiling brightly as he stands up from the table. “Okay, thank you both so much. I’ll see you when I get back.

You wave as he jogs out of your campsite and somewhere to the left.

After Jaemin leaves, silence falls over you two. When you turn to look at Jisung, he’s staring in the direction Jaemin had run off in. Your heart breaks at the sight of his watery eyes, knowing it must feel more or less what you felt when you found out about Jisung being your soulmate.

You clear your throat, picking your cards up and combining them with the deck. “I’m not feeling very well. Are you okay if we stop playing?”

He wordlessly nods his head, not taking his eyes away from the spot. “My head is killing me; I think I’m going to go to the tent and sleep.” He turns his attention to you, weakly smiling. “Are you okay with that?”

You nod your head, smiling back at him. “Yeah, of course.”

He nods his head, a faraway look in his eyes, as he stands up from the table and makes his way to the tent.

---

Of course, this had to happen on what was meant to be a fun trip with his friends. He knew Jaemin would never love him back—that was something he had been slowly telling himself. This was too much too fast, though. He isn’t ready to lose Jaemin yet.

He pulls his knees close to his body, hugging his sleeping bag closer to him. He wants to cry, but he knows he can’t. It had taken him months to come to terms with himself and his bisexuality, but he doesn’t know if he’s ready to tell anyone else. He had gotten so used to telling Jaemin everything it felt weird that there was something more he was hiding from him.

He’s thankful you’re not questioning his sudden change in attitude. That is if you even noticed.

He squeezes his eyes shut, taking deep breaths to try and keep the tears from falling. He feels so alone, and he knows that if he just manned up and asked for help, he wouldn’t feel like this.

Taking a deep breath, he sits up enough to pull his phone out of his backpack. Laying back down, he turns on his phone and scrolls until he finds the one person he knows can make him feel better.

“Jisung-ah! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

He smiles at his mom’s bright voice, and when he closes his eyes, he can imagine her face. “Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. It’s a nice day, and I just wanted to call my mother.”

“Don’t insult my motherly skills,” she says sternly, and Jisung snorts at her response. “Now, tell me what’s wrong before I force it out of you.”

“Now, how would you do that?”

“Park Jisung, don’t change the subject.”

He sighs, the fake smile he put up to try and convey a happy attitude falling. “There’s nothing wrong, so to say, I just set myself up to get my feelings hurt and have to deal with the consequences.”

“There’s no way it’s that black and white. How did you set yourself up?”

“I—” he cuts himself off, debating what he can and can't tell her. He couldn’t tell her he fell for his best friend. She would know right away that he was talking about Jaemin. “I started to like someone who wasn’t my soulmate. Then today, she found her soulmate.”

“Oh, Jisung,” she whispers, and he can feel the sympathy in her voice.

Would she still care if she really knew who it was? The thought alone was enough to make tears fall from his eyes.

“It’ll be okay. At least the bandaid was ripped right off, right?”

“Yeah,” he sniffles. “I just wish I had more time to prepare for the bandaid to be ripped off.”

“I know my love. But you still have your soulmate out there. Maybe you’ll love her even more than this girl.”

He suppresses a scoff. He feels horrible lying to his mom like this; she’s been his best friend since he was young. Like with Jaemin, he tells her everything.

“Yeah, I’m sure I will.”

He can’t tell his mom everything, not this time at least.

---

“Can I sit?”

Jisung blinks once before turning his head to look up at you. You smile down at him, your hands held behind your back. He silently nods once before he turns his attention back to the water in front of him.

He knows he is being dramatic, but he can’t help it. The man he loves is out on a date.

“I got you this,” you say, bringing your hand out from behind your back as you sit down to hand him an ice cream bar.

He smiles weakly, taking the ice cream from your outstretched hand. “Thank you for this and for bringing the food into the tent for me. I’m sorry both of your friends aren’t being very fun after we practically dragged you on this trip.”

You shrug your shoulders, eyes trained on unwrapping the ice cream. “It’s okay. You’re not feeling very well, and on top of that, your best friend just found his soulmate. It can’t be easy.”

Jisung freezes slightly at the comment before forcing himself to unwrap the bar to make himself feel less suspicious. “Why would Hyung finding his soulmate make me feel bad?”

You smile softly, not looking away from the bar. “My best friend found his soulmate, and that was really hard on me. I mean, I knew I wasn’t the most important person in his life, but at least I was someone. And I still am someone, but I don’t matter as much as I used to. Me and him still talk almost every day, but when he first found her, after every conversation, there was this nagging thought of 'and now he goes back to his soulmate.'” You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “And maybe I’m being selfish. But at the same time, I’m used to being his go-to. And now that he has someone who can be there for him when I can’t—in more ways than one—I just felt this great sense of loss.”

Jisung nods his head, taking a bite of the bar to try and keep the tears from falling.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you continue. “I’m happy for him, and I can’t wait to meet her. I just hope that when I see her, this feeling I have of being replaced is gone.”

“Replaced. That’s a good word for it.”

You nod your head, turning your attention away from the bar and out to the water. “You know, my friend once told me something when I was talking to him about my worries. And to summarize, he told me how no one could fill my place. That Xiulan holds a place in his heart as his soulmate, a place I never had, nor could I ever fill. I don’t know if this will help you, but after about a week of sulking, that advice helped me. So it might not be okay right now, but maybe with this ice cream and some time, you’ll realize you haven’t lost him.”

Jisung silently nods his head, letting silence fall between you two. He appreciates you offering your advice, and he can’t explain how relieved he feels knowing you think he’s only sad because he lost a best friend. He’s also thankful he doesn’t have to go through this alone. He’s glad Jaemin made him befriend you.

“Thank you, y/n.”

You glance over at him, smiling softly before looking back out at the water. “Eat your ice cream before it melts.”

---

This has got to be the weirdest situation you’ve been in in a long time.

Jaemin, and his soulmate Ki, decided to have a “bonding breakfast” with her and her group of friends. So now, you and Jisung are sitting at a picnic table with her three friends while Ki and Jaemin make pancakes.

You and Jisung exchange a look as the three girls on the opposite side of the table continue to talk to each other. They had started off including you in the conversation, but they had somehow trailed off to some inside story that you and Jisung had no choice but to listen.

“So uh,” you start once you notice their conversation come to an end. “Do you guys live far from here?”

“Oh no,” Gaeun, a girl with short hair and a dazzling smile, answers. “We live like thirty minutes away. How far out are you guys?”

“We’re like three hours or so away,” you answer, nodding your head. After a few seconds of awkward smiling and eye contact, you turn around to look at Ki and Jaemin, silently wishing they would hurry up.

“So y/n, Jisung, what are your soulmate marks?” Kyungsoon, a beautiful girl who, despite the meaning of her name, was anything but mild.

“Mine is the tally mark one,” Jisung answers, and it surprises you how nonchalantly he answers.

If your past said anything, it was that, normally, this question wouldn’t bother you. In any other situation, one where your soulmate isn’t literally sitting right next to you, you would have been the first person to ask this very question.

But because your soulmate is sitting next to you, and he doesn’t know you’re soulmates, you find yourself freezing at the question.

“I-uh I don’t know mine yet,” you answer, rubbing your wrist under the table. After all, for the majority of your life, it wasn’t a lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kyungsoon says, and you smile softly at the sincerity in her voice. “Maybe your mark is something like Ki’s, and you’ll know it when you see them.”

“Yeah, maybe. How about you guys?”

“Oh, I actually met my soulmate when I was in my last year of high school,” Kyungsoon gushes. She reminds you a lot of yourself, and given your current soulmate situation, it’s nice to see someone as romantic as yourself. “He’s the nicest man I’ve ever met. And he knows how to cook! Which, for me, is a lifesaver. I can’t cook to save my life.”

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you Kyungsoon.”

She smiles brightly. “Thanks y/n! I bet you guys will find your soulmates soon.”

Jisung laughs, drawing your attention away from the girl opposite you.

“Jisung?”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes with a bitter smile. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to meet my soulmate, and I don’t know if I ever will be. I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to interrupt. Soulmate conversations are just hard for me to have.”

“What? What do you mean?” you ask. You’re not sure if you want to hear what he has to say; the message was pretty clear the first time around. There is still a small sliver of hope that says maybe you’ve misunderstood.

“I just don’t know if I ever want to meet my soulmate,” he repeats, shrugging before he turns to look at Kyungsoon  “That’s not to say I’m not happy for you, because I am. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t think a soulmate is for them.”

The other girls nod their heads, saying something about how they can understand that. You can hear them talking, but the only thing that processes in your head is that if Jisung found out who you are, he wouldn’t want anything to do with you.

“My parents were like that too,” Lian, a quiet girl who is by far the calmest member of their group, adds. “They met when my dad was in China studying abroad and had me a year after they graduated; despite not being married or soulmates. When I was six or so, my dad found his soulmate when he was back here on a visit. I’m not saying this to force you to find your soulmate, but just keep in mind that if you chose to live like that, nothing is certain.”

Jisung smiles softly, nodding his head in acknowledgment. “Having a soulmate who values you isn't certain either.”

After his statement, a silence settles over the table. It takes everything in you not to continue to stare at him. You can feel the awkward atmosphere, and normally you would do something to try and fix it. Right now though, you can’t bring yourself to even care. All your thoughts are centered on the fact that Jisung doesn’t seem to want anything to do with you.

“Pancakes are ready!”

---

Jaemin isn’t quite sure what happened.

The breakfast had been nice. It was fun getting to know Ki and her friends better while also hanging out with his own. After they had walked back to their camp, you, Jisung, and he packed up the camp.

It is now twenty minutes into the drive, and he could tell something had happened. On the drive here, you and Jisung had fought over the passenger seat. The car ride had been filled with conversation, and he thought the drive had passed relatively quickly.

Now though, Jisung had silently taken the back seat, and after the first five minutes, the conversation between you and him had mostly stopped. He tried to pick it up again, but he knows when people aren’t in the mood to talk.

“Hyung, can we stop at the next rest stop? I have to use the bathroom,” Jisung quietly asks from the backseat.

“Yeah, of course,” he answers, smiling into the rearview mirror.

Jisung isn’t looking at him and is instead gazing blankly out the window. It hurt Jaemin, the way Jisung had asked the question. He has never heard Jisung use that tone of voice with him. He sounded so hollow.

When they got to the rest stop, Jisung practically jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped.

“Should we go buy some snacks?” He suggests, looking over to you.

You nod your head, unbuckling your seat belt. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jaemin hates this situation. Yes, there is something wrong with Jisung. But now, as you’re walking into the store, he sees something is wrong with you too. He feels helpless because he has no idea what even happened, and no one is telling him anything.

“Do you, uh, do you know what’s wrong with Jisung?” he asks nervously, sending a quick text to Jisung telling him where you are.

You wait a few seconds to answer, which he takes as you definitely know what’s wrong with his best friend. Again, it hurts him that his best friend, and now you, are hiding something from him.

“Yeah, I do,” you start slowly, and he can tell you’re hesitant to tell him. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this, so don’t tell him I told you. But I think he just feels threatened by Ki. I think he’s worried you’ll replace him.”

Jaemin nods his head, taking in a deep breath. Why does there have to be a downside to one of the happiest moments of his life? He’s been looking forward to this day since he heard the song Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood five years ago at his music club in high school.

Like most people in the club, he was shocked when the title had been translated into Korean. He felt almost embarrassed for the girl that brought it up, worried that she would be judged by the other members—despite them being the nicest people he’s ever met.

But when she explained that the song was about the lead singer struggling to deal with his dad’s death and about how he loved the girl for her problems, he was able to see why she loved the song. The idea that a person could love someone else for their problems was magical to him.

That was when he decided he was looking forward to meeting his soulmate. He knows that just because people are soulmates that doesn’t mean they don’t have their problems. That being said, soulmates are made for each other, and he wants someone who is made for him, who will love him for his problems.

“I appreciate you telling me, even if Jisung didn’t want me to know. I’ll talk to him about it when we get back.”

You nod your head, picking up a bag of chips. “I’ll just have these. Are you getting anything?”

He shakes his head, picking up a bag of chips he’s seen Jisung eat many times. “I’ll just get something for Jisung. He texted saying he didn’t want anything and is going to wait in the car. But I know him better. Hey y/n?”

You hum in response. Despite the minimal response, he’s glad you didn’t seem to mind his quick change in topic.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong.”

“I don’t know. You just seem … different. Did Ki and her friends make it awkward or uncomfortable for you?”

“Oh no,” you shake your head, sending him a small smile before mindlessly looking at the different snacks. But the look on your face seemed tired—and not from a lack of sleep. “I just hate long car rides. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Ki and her friends, but it’s a bit tiring for me to socialize with people I don’t know that well first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, okay. Well, thank you for doing that for me. It means a lot.”

You smile softly, nodding your heads towards the cashier. “You don’t need to thank me. I enjoyed talking with them.”

Jaemin smiles, following you to the cash register. “Well, the snacks are on me, as a thank you.”

You smile softly in thanks before turning and watching as the cashier scans the items.

He doesn’t know you as well as he knows Jisung, but he thinks you’re lying. He knows when to push, and right now, before a two-hour drive, is not the time to push.

“Ready to go home?” he asks, handing you your bag of chips.

You smile tiredly, nodding your head in response. He smiles back, trying to ignore the sadness in your eyes.

---

“Hey, how was your trip,” Chenle asks after you exchange hellos.

“It was fun!” You lean back against the kitchen counter, crossing your legs. “It was nice having some time with them outside of school.”

“Oh, I bet. Anything fun happen? Any bear attacks?”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “You know it! There were five bear attacks.”

“Wow, that little? Normally it’s in the twenties. How lucky you three were.”

“I know right! And on top of not being attacked by a bear, Jaemin met his soulmate.”

The line goes silent, and you almost feel bad for changing the mood so fast. But Chenle’s your best friend, he’s always there for you, and you’re always there for him.

“Is Jisung okay,” he asks softly.

You shrug your shoulders. “He’s as okay as you can imagine.”

“And how about you? Are you okay?”

You sigh, rubbing your free hand over your face. “You know, in full honesty, I was happy. I mean, this was my chance to show him how worthy I am of being his soulmate. This was my chance, Chenle.”

“Then what?”

“Then he said he doesn’t want to meet his soulmate.”

He sighs, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“I know I have this conversation with you all the time,” you take a deep breath and push back the tears in your eyes, “but why does this have to happen to me? I like to think that I’m a nice person, so why doesn’t my soulmate want me? I just-this isn’t fair.”

“Y/n no,” he coos softly. “It’ll be okay.”

“How Chenle, how? Because the person I have been waiting my whole life for just said he didn’t want me.”

“Y/n you were worried about the same thing when you found out about Jaemin. That turned out okay and so will this.”

In any other situation, you would appreciate his optimism.

“Come on, Chenle. I appreciate you listening to me, don’t get me wrong, but do you really think this will be okay? I mean, he said he didn’t want to meet his soulmate at all. Last time, you told me it would be okay because I had a place in his heart that couldn’t be filled. Now, though, I’m trying to win a place in his heart. He doesn’t even want me, Chenle.”

You take a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut. You hate everything about this situation. You have never liked drama, and ever since you met Jisung, your life has gotten more dramatic.

But he’s your soulmate; you love him.

“Okay y/n, listen. I know that right now, it seems impossible. But you believe in soulmates, right?”

You blink your eyes in shock. “Chenle I- yeah, of course, I do.”

“Then there’s your answer. He is your soulmate, y/n. He was made from the same star as you, and you have been with him for every single one of your past lives and will continue to be with him for your next lives. So maybe in this life, you guys just have a long story.”

You sigh, wiping your eyes. “Why me, though? I like to think I’ve been a good person, so why does my happy ending have to take so long?”

He laughs, and you can imagine he’s leaning back against the wall next to his bed. “Life has not been easy to us, has it?”

You chuckle, thinking about all the times you would stay at Chenle’s when your parents were too busy to look after you, or vice versa. High school had been the worst for both of you. It was when your parents decided you were old enough to look after yourselves and they could start taking more time-consuming projects.

You chuckle. “No, no, it wasn’t.”

“Do you remember that time when both our parents were gone, and you called me to come over because you were just having a horrible day? To be more specific, it was the first time I used the key to your house that you gave me. I opened the door, and the first thing I said was ‘sit down, I’m going to make you the best dinner you’ve ever had.’”

You chuckle. “Yeah, I remember. I’d had the worst day ever, and you put marina sauce on bread with cheese on top and called it pizza after cooking it in the oven.”

“And it was the best dinner of your life.”

“Whatever floats your boat.”

“You’re just in denial. Anyways, my point is, you’re going to be okay. You didn’t have parents around every day like most kids, but you came out just fine. And if your soulmate isn’t someone who sticks around every day, you’ll be okay too. There are other options.”

You scoff. You know what the other options are. They’re dating apps and bars made specifically for people whose soulmates had died or rejected them. Just like when you first read about your mark, you pitted the people who went there. And now, that person might be you.

“I know those options don’t seem very desirable, but if that’s what has to happen, then that’s what happens.”

“You’re right. I’m overthinking things.” You know you’re not unreasonably overthinking things; Chenle just has a way of seeing things simply. This is your soulmate, after all, the person you’ve been dying to meet since you could form a coherent thought.

“No, not really. I just have an outside perspective, so it’s easier for me to be objective,” he replies cheekily.

You smile, rolling your eyes at his attitude. “I raised you better than this.”

“Obviously not. How does it feel to fail?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

—-

“I’m sorry, what?”

To say Jisung is nervous would be an understatement.

This morning, you had sent him and Jaemin a text telling them they had to meet you at this café they had never heard of and that it was important. He had been the last to arrive, but judging from the fact Jaemin was still looking at the menu, he isn’t too late. He decided to sit next to you, and he tried to ignore the little glance Jaemin sent him over the menu.

It has been a month since Jaemin found his soulmate, and Jisung is still having a hard time adjusting. He knows Jaemin isn’t dumb, and he knows Jaemin noticed something was off about him. He just can’t force himself to be around him and act like everything is normal. It hurt too much.

“Listen, I know it’s fast,” you explain. “But my friend is coming back from China, and he didn’t tell me until this morning. He’s a very spontaneous person, and he said he wanted to meet you guys, and I was so excited at the fact that he’s back in the country that I just said yes.”

Jaemin chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slides the menu across to him. “How come we’ve never heard of him? I didn’t even know you had a friend in China”

“Neither did I,” he adds, picking up the menu to see what drinks they have. Since he hadn’t known he was going to be meeting you today, he had already eaten.

“Okay, yes, but I have mentioned him to you, Jisung. He was the friend I was talking to when you scared me at the store.”

Jisung nods his head, not looking away from the menu. He remembers that friend, the friend who sounded like your soulmate but wasn’t. The fact that he’s about to meet someone so close to you without knowing anything about him worries him. What if he says something stupid to make your friend hate him, causing you to hate him?

“Fine, let me revise. Why haven’t I heard of him?” Jaemin asks, and Jisung can tell he’s smiling.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you look down towards your wrist before looking back up. “He just never came up, I guess.”

“Fine, then what is his—”

“Y/n?”

You and Jisung turn towards the voice before his attention is quickly drawn to you shooting out of your seat to hug a boy with light brown hair. “Chenle! Welcome back.”

Setting down the menu, Jisung slides out of his seat as quietly as he can and into the vacant seat next to Jaemin. Jaemin smiles softly at him, and Jisung quickly flashes him a smile before bringing his attention back to you and Chenle.

“It’s good to be back,” Chenle answers, and Jisung smiles softly at the way he hugs you tightly.

“I see you dyed your hair brown again,” you smile, backing out of the hug and ruffling his hair.

He smiles back at you, rolling his eyes. “I was telling Xiulan how much you liked my brown hair, and I realized how much I liked my brown hair, so I brought it back.”

You laugh, and Jisung notices how much happier you seem. “Well, you look nice. Now, before we make my friends uncomfortable,” you turn to face Jisung and Jaemin, your wide smile still present, “Chenle, this is Jaemin and Jisung. Jaemin and Jisung, this is my best friend, Chenle.”

“It’s nice to meet you two. Y/n has told me a lot about you both,” he says as you both sit down. Chenle smiles at them both, but Jisung notices the way his eyes linger on him longer than Jaemin.

Jisung smiles shyly back, breaking eye contact out of nervousness. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too. But I can’t say y/n has told me a lot about you. This is actually the first time I’m hearing about you,” Jaemin greets, and he doesn’t miss the teasing smile Jaemin sends you.

“What? Are you ashamed of me or something?” Chenle asks, poking you on the arm.

“Oh, you know it,” you respond, wacking his hand, “I knew they wouldn’t want to hang out with me if they knew I hung out with someone like you.”

Jisung and Jaemin chuckle softly at the bickering. It might be too early to tell, but Jisung is willing to bet with Chenle here, he’s going to see a new side of you.

---

“Thank you, sir,” Jisung thanks, handing the cab driver the amount owed.

Jisung isn’t sure he can do this. Sure, it had been fun hanging out with Chenle, and, at the time, he thought it would be fun to hang out with him again.

Now that he was standing in front of a house he has never been to, with the intention to go in and watch a movie with you and someone he met this morning, he’s having second thoughts.

Despite it being hard to be around Jaemin, he wishes more than anything that he was standing next to him now. Had he known Jaemin wasn’t able to make it, he probably wouldn’t have accepted. Maybe it was his own fault for being slightly distant from Jaemin recently, but he used to know when Jaemin was busy and when he wasn’t.

Sighing, he pulls out his phone and presses on your contact. “I’m here y/n,” he says as soon as you pick up.

You chuckle. “Hello to you too. Chenle's on the third floor, apartment 311.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

Sighing again, he hangs up the phone, shoving it back into his pocket before he pulls the door open. Tapping his finger against each other as he walks to the elevator, he pushes against the feeling that something bad is going to happen. He should have brought something, a gift of some kind. Isn’t it rude to show up at someone’s house without a gift of some kind?

Shaking his head, he pushes the up button on the elevator, stepping in a second later.

“It’ll be okay, Jisung,” he mumbles to himself, watching the red number at the top change. “Y/n’s there, and they won’t put you in an uncomfortable position. You’ll be fine.”

He finds himself repeating the last three words as the elevator dings open, and he begins walking in what he assumes to be the right direction. Judging by how the numbers on the door kept increasing, he’d say he made the right decision.

Soon, he finds himself in front of the door with 311 posted on the front. Taking a deep breath, he brings his fist up and knocks on the door three times.

“Welcome to the-“ Chenle announces as he opens the door.

“Lee household,” y/n finishes. Judging from the confused glance Chenle sends you, that wasn’t part of the plan.

“Thank you for inviting me here,” he responds, slowly walking into the room and placing his shoes with the others. “Are you sure I’m not overstepping? I’m sure you want to spend some time with your family.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’re not,” Chenle answers, closing the door behind him and walking to the left.”My parents don’t get back for another two days. Your company is welcome.”

“What about me,” y/n responds. “I’m literally sleeping in the room across from yours. Am I not enough company for you?”

Chenle pokes his head from around the corner, looking you up and down, before shaking his head and letting out a simple, “Nah.”

You gasp dramatically, and Jisung watches in amusement as Chenle disappears behind the corner again.

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" you huff, leaning against the wall as you wait for Jisung to remove his shoes. "You're friends with someone for as long as you can remember, and this is how he treats you. Make a mental note, Jisung men aren't worth it."

Jisung chuckles. "Yeah, I'll be sure to remember that. I'm sure it'll help me tons in my life, you know, being a guy and all."

"Glad you agree! Now come this way, and follow me to the semi comfy couch."

"What did you say about my couch?" Chenle asks, watching as you both walk into the room.

"That's it's semi comfy," you answer, taking a seat next to him. "Ready to start?" you ask, patting the spot next to you and looking up at him.

“I’m just going to go to the bathroom first,” Jisung says awkwardly.

“Okay, it’s just down that hall and to the right. You’ll find it,” y/n answers, pointing to a hall on the other side of the room.

He walks towards the hallway, checking over his shoulder once to make sure he is going in the right direction. When you nod in reassurance, he turns the corner and is met with a short hallway with two doors. Pushing an already open door he assumes to be the bathroom further open, he’s met with a white bathroom.

“My mom would be so jealous of this room,” he mumbles to himself, closing the door behind him.

Coming out of the bathroom, he finds himself face to face with a photo of what he assumes to be Chenle’s family. Above the picture, the words “种 family” are printed in black letters.

Jisung tilts his head to the side in confusion. He can’t say for sure, but from what he remembers from the Hanja lessons at school, 种 doesn’t translate to Lee.

He doesn’t know what it translates to, so he takes a photo of it to check later. He feels like he’s overstepping, especially since Chenle invited him into his home despite only meeting him this morning. It just doesn't sit right with him; why would you lie to him?

“Y/n,” He hears Chenle whisper as he walks closer. The rest of the conversation is continued in fast English, making it hard to follow. Not that he’s trying to eavesdrop.

His presence in the room causes the conversation to end, and he freezes a second as they both look over at him. He smiles shyly, quickly walking towards the couch and taking the seat next to you.

“Ready to start?”

“Yeah, what are we watching?”

“Hope you like horror, Jisung, because that’s our favorite genre to watch together,” Chenle answers, scrolling through the movies on Netflix.

“Of course, if it really makes you uncomfortable, we can watch something else,” you add, smiling softly at him over your shoulder.

Jisung looks at the movie on the screen, a movie called Hush. “Um no, horror is good. I haven’t watched too many horror movies, so it’ll be nice to find out if I like them or not.”

“Good!” Chenle cheers, pressing play. “Then off we go!”  

--

“We’re soulmates.”

You blink back at him, the smile dropping off your face. “How’d you know?”

“You knew, didn’t you.”

Normally, Jisung isn’t this forward. He liked to word things carefully and do anything in his power to avoid confrontation. Normally, instead of meeting you outside your dorm building, he would’ve met you at a café or a park. Right now, however, he is too annoyed to take the time to be polite. You had lied to him.

You nod your head. “How did you find out?”

“There was a photo of Chenle and his family that said ‘Zhong family.’” He rolls up his sleeve to show you his tally mark. “Knowing that, the ZCL wasn’t too hard to understand. You really went on a date with your best friend?”

Your eyebrows raise in shock, and Jisung only barely notices the sharp tone in his voice. “Are you judging me?”

“No, no, I just better understand how you were able to give me such good advice about Jaemin.”

You laugh. “Listen, I don’t know why you’re being like this but you have no right. I have never had any interest in dating Chenle. I was able to give you that advice because while I may not love Chenle how you love Jaemin—which is fine, by the way—I do love him.”

Jisung is taken back with embarrassment. He feels naked now that you know about this part of him, and for a moment, he’s worried you’ll ridicule him. How did you even know? He hasn’t told anyone and he thinks he’s been relatively discrete about it. Then it clicks. You’re his soulmate. Again, he finds himself hating soulmates. If it weren’t for this, no one would know.

“You-you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You sigh. “Jisung, I’m—”

“Y/n,” he interrupts, his embarrassment fueling his anger. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“Wait,” you laugh humorlessly. “Let me get this straight, you’re deciding you can’t be around me anymore because I’m the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with?”

“You don’t understand,” Jisung sighs. Despite the embarrassment, he knows he isn’t in the right to be annoyed or angry; but you don’t understand what he’s trying to do and it's furthering his annoyance. He’s trying to help you.

“You’re right, I don’t. Because there isn’t anything to understand. But please, tell me what you think I need to understand.”

“I don’t need to explain this to you, so if you can’t understand I’m sorry. But I never liked the idea of soulmates, okay? My parents are soulmates and they didn’t fit well together, they still don’t. There is nothing certain about them, so why do I have to spend my life looking for this one person when I don’t even know who they are? I want to get to know the person before I decide if I want to spend my life with them. Not because I’m supposed to be with them.”

You scoff. “You’re being selfish and contradicting your own logic. You got to know me before you found out we are soulmates.”

“Selfish?” he laughs. “How am I being selfish?”

“Because you’re deciding you’re more important than I am. You’re deciding that your feelings of ‘oh, my parents failed as soulmates so me and y/n will fail too’ is more important than anything I have to say. Instead of considering my side, which is, ‘I understand that Jisung is afraid, but I’m willing to work with him to realize it doesn’t have to go the way he thinks it will.’”

He scoffs. “I hardly think that’s being selfish.”

“Oh, you don’t? I’ve waited my whole life to meet my soulmate, and when I did, I found out he wants nothing to do with me. So you know what I do? I put my feelings aside, and I decide I’m going to prove to you that I’m worthy of being your soulmate. That if you still don’t want me after I’ve given my all, then I’ll respect your wishes and you’ll never have to think of me as your soulmate again. But you, you weren’t thinking about me when you decided this, and you’re still not thinking about me. If not selfish, then what?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not going to let you talk to me like this. We can talk more when you’re calmed down.”

You nod your head. “Okay, you do that. My words may be harsh, and maybe I could have worded this better, but none of it is false. So you go, think about what I said, and let me ‘calm down.’ Then later, you’re going to decide how you want this relationship to continue for the time being. Because I love you, Jisung, and I’m not going to give up on you yet. But if you come to me tomorrow and decide you don’t want me right now, then I’m done chasing after you for the time being. I need a break from being second best.”  

You and Jisung look at each other in silence before he takes a deep breath and turns away from you, quickly walking away from your dorm building.

---

When he gets back to his room, he quickly throws himself face-first onto his bed. He still can’t believe the conversation he just had with you. How could you not understand? He was trying to help you; he was trying to save you from a forced relationship.

Sighing, he flips around onto his back and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. Opening his contacts, he scrolls until he finds the one he’s looking for. Jaemin’s contact.

He knows he has been distant towards Jaemin, and he feels bad that he’s only starting to get close to him again because he needs his advice. Better now than never, right?

“Jisung!” Jaemin exclaims as soon as he picks up. “What’s up?”

“I was hoping I could talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, of course. What is it?”

Jisung sighs, the conversation still fresh in his mind. “Y/n and I are soulmates. They knew we’re soulmates and they didn’t even tell me.”

The line goes silent, and Jisung can imagine his friend is having a hard time deciding what he should say. “How do you feel about that?”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders, putting the phone on speaker before laying it on top of his chest. “Just as you imagine I would. I never wanted to meet my soulmate, and now I find out my soulmate is one of my best friends. How is that fair?”

“Well,” Jaemin starts slowly, and Jisung can tell he’s still having a hard time picking his words. “I can say that if I were in your shoes, I’d be happy. Not that I’m not happy with Ki, she seems very nice, I just mean it would’ve been even better had I been friends with her before.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jisung sighs. “You know me, and you know about my parents. So you know why I don’t want my soulmate. I’ve said this many times before, but there isn’t anything certain about soulmates so why should I have to spend my life with them?”

“Did you tell them that?”

“Yeah, I did. I told y/n I couldn’t see them anymore, and they then proceeded to call me selfish.” He complains.

“How so?”

“They said that by deciding that I didn’t want to meet my soulmate, I was only considering my feelings and not theirs. Which is something I decided when I was like 10, so I hardly think that qualifies as selfish. Plenty of people decide they want to meet their soulmates at 10 and they aren’t called selfish.”

Jisung can’t hide how annoyed he is. He knows he should try and explain things a bit more, or mention how you had been calm at first until he started arguing. But he didn’t want Jaemin to side with you. Even if he is wrong, which he can’t understand how he could be, he doesn’t want Jaemin to say it. He just wants someone on his side right now.

“Well that in itself isn’t selfish. Is that what they said was selfish?” “Well, no. They said I was selfish for not considering their point of view; by not giving us a try. But there is no us,” he laughs, “We’re not even dating! Why should I have to give us a try when, a, I never wanted to meet my soulmate, and b, I don’t have romantic feelings towards them right now. How is it selfish to not want to go on a date?”

“Of course it isn’t. I think they just mean it’s selfish not to look at their point of view. If y/n didn’t tell you right away, that must mean they were considering it might be fast for you and chose to wait. I think they’re just hoping you’ll do the same.”

“But why do I have to give up this thing that I’ve held so close to me since I was little. I watched my dad treat my mom like she wasn’t the person ‘made from the same star’ as he was. He acted like we were just there. Which, yeah, I guess I should be glad he never physically hurt us. Jaemin, he doesn’t care about us. And I’m worried that if I find my soulmate—who is y/n, a friend—then we’re just going to end the same way. I mean, I may not like it, but half of me is from my dad. What if the same thing that is in him, the thing that makes him not care, has passed down to me and by the time y/n realizes it, it’s too late for them to leave. So I don’t think it’s fair that y/n thinks I’m being selfish when I’ve said everything I’ve said for them. It isn’t fair.”

Jisung takes a deep breath. He hadn’t expected to talk to Jaemin about this, but he’s glad he is. While he may not be able to talk to Jaemin about everything—mostly him being bisexual—he is glad he can talk to him about soulmates. Frankly, nothing scares him more than meeting his soulmate. It made him think about his dad; made him wonder how much like him he really was.

“So this is a fear thing, you know that right?”

“Well, no, not exactly,” Jisung pauses, thinking over what he just said before sighing. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Okay, then I think you should tell y/n that. I imagine they would be willing to work with you on that.”

“I don’t know if I want to do that.”

Jisung can imagine he’s tilting his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t want to work through it. This particular thing has never been a problem for me until now. And it’s only a problem because it’s my soulmate. So if I just keep my distance from them—like I said I would—then I don’t have to fix myself.”

This, Jisung knows, is extremely selfish. But he doesn’t care. Why should he have to change who he is because he’s scared of one person? Why can’t he just save himself time and avoid the root of this fear?

“Jisung,” Jaemin sighs. “Do I have to tell you what’s wrong with that?”

“No, you don’t. I just don’t understand why I have to be the adult and change my whole way of thinking for this one person.”

“Y/n isn’t just a person, they’re your friend. Relationships are the same thing as friendships; you have to work together in order for them to work. Now, I don’t know everything about the situation, but from what you’ve told me and from what I’ve seen, they’ve been trying to work with you. Don’t you think it’s fair that you work with them as well?”

Jisung sighs again, bringing his hands up to rub his face. His annoyance is gone and it’s been replaced with tiredness. Jaemin has a point. “I-I know what you mean. I’m just so tired.”

“Tired? Tired of what?”

“I feel like I always have to change myself. I know it isn’t a bad thing to work on yourself, I just don’t know if I have the energy to change myself even more. This year has been so hard on me; so much has changed in my life. I’m just so tired of having to change myself.”

Jaemin hums and Jisung can imagine he’s nodding his head. “Yeah, change is hard. But if you do the work now, imagine how much better you’ll be in the future. I know this is something you’ve held onto since you were young, but at the same time, y/n has had it in their mind that they’d meet their soulmate and live happily ever after. They changed their thinking and were able to accept that it wouldn’t go the way they thought it would.”

Jisung knows he’s being selfish—now that it’s being thrown back in his face. “Alright, thank you for talking with me Jaemin. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” Jaemin pauses, and Jisung can tell he has more to say. “And Jisung?”

He hums in response.

“It was really nice talking to you again.”

Jisung closes his eyes. “Yeah, it was nice talking. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant from you lately. Like I said, a lot has changed and it’s just been hard adjusting.”

“Well if you ever want someone to talk to about that change, I’m here for you.”

“I will, thank you Hyung.”

---

“Long time no see.”

Jisung chuckles awkwardly, looking down at his cup. “Yeah, I’m sorry it took so long for me to get back to you.”

“No, it’s okay,” you smile softly. Honestly, the three days it took for Jisung to finally message you had been filled with worry. You thought he was never going to get back to you.

“So uh, I thought about our conversation,” he starts, slowly looking up from his cup. “And I just wanted to talk some more before we … decide anything.”

You nod your head, leaning forward in your chair. “Yeah, totally. Go ahead.”

“First, I want to apologize for how I talked to you once I found out. I was hurt because you lied to me, and I was,” he pauses, shaking his head and sighing, “embarrassed you knew about me and Jaemin. So I’m sorry that I used that tone with you, and I want to know what I can do to make it up to you.”

You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. No one, when apologizing, had ever asked you what they could do to make it up to you. That, paired with the sincere look in his eyes, gave you butterflies, and you found yourself struggling to answer. “Um, you don’t need to do anything. The fact that you’re even asking me what you can do to make it better is enough for me. It means the world to me.”

“Okay, I’m glad,” he smiles. “But if you think of anything let me know. Now I hope you’ll be patient with me during this part. The apology part is the only thing I really prepared for, so I hope you don’t mind me rambling like an idiot.”

“No, of course not. Take your time.”

He takes a deep breath, flashing you a quick smile. “So the first thing I want to talk about is what you want from this relationship. Because you know that I’m … a little hesitant to meet my soulmate and start a romantic relationship. So where are you hoping this will go?”

“If I’m being completely honest, years down the road, I want us to be together and have a family of sorts. Whether that family is kids or dogs, cats, or hamsters, I don’t care. But I can imagine that’s scary for you, so we can take it slow if you want. We continue to stay friends until you’re ready for more.” you take a deep breath, bringing your hands up to wrap around your cup, eyes looking down into the liquid. “Or, if you can’t see yourself even being around me, I can try and get used to the idea that you truly don’t want me. But I meant what I said, I don’t want to give up on you yet. I’ll give you some space and time, and then I’ll try again.”

Jisung nods his head, an emotion you think could only be ununderstanding clouding his eyes. “And this might be weird, but you said you loved me? Do you really?”

You nod your head. “Yeah, I’ve loved you since I was little. As soon as I was able to comprehend soulmates, I knew I loved you. And when I met you, before I found out we were soulmates, I thought you were cute. The way you were so nervous about having dropped that coffee on me was precious and reminded me of myself, and it just made my day better overall. When I found out we were soulmates, it was the first day we went out—all three of us to your friend's dad’s restaurant—was so sad because you loved someone else. I still loved you though it didn’t change how I felt about you. Then once I got to actually know you, my feelings were confirmed? I don’t know, that sounds weird. I just had this faith that you would be a good person, and once I met you, I was sure I was right.”

He blinks at you. “But-but I don’t understand. And maybe it’s because I never intended to meet my soulmate, but how could you love this person you’ve never met?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t think everyone thinks the way I do. I think if you asked Jaemin or Chenle if they loved their soulmate before they met them, they’d say no. It’s just a me thing. I have faith that the universe put us together for a reason, and because we’re connected, I’m going to love you. Had you turned out to be a jerk, I probably wouldn’t love you now. But you’re a nice kid, Jisung, so I still have that love for you. I hope I don’t sound too weird.”

“No, no, you don’t,” he quickly denies. “It’s just I grew up watching two people—two soulmates—not love each other. I mean, my dad didn’t even seem to care most of the time. So I grew up thinking that soulmates didn’t work out like people said they did.”

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been hard.”

“It was what it was. I mean, that isn’t something I normally tell people, but I want you to understand I’m not doing it to hurt you. So can we stay friends? I’m not saying we’ll never be together. Right now, it’s just hard for me to say that I’m ready to be my soulmate’s other half.”

For a second, neither of you says anything. You can tell he’s nervous, and you mentally applaud him for keeping his composure. “Of course, I don’t mind staying friends, Jisung. Whatever you need to do.”

He lets out a relieved sigh before he pushes himself up from his chair and walks over to awkwardly hug you. “Thank you for understanding.”

You hug him back, gently squeezing him. He’s the love of your life; what’s the rush?

—-

“Y/n will you please come to the lounge of my dorm?”

“Yeah, sure. Is everything okay? You sound off.”

“I’ll explain when you get here. I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in like 5 minutes.”

Once the line goes dead, Jisung leans back in the chair, running a hand over his face.

Jisung isn’t sure why he called you. In the past three months since he told Jaemin about you being his soulmate, they had slowly become normal. Jisung will still get pangs of sadness now and again when thinking about Ki and Jaemin, but it’s better than before. Since he and Jaemin are okay again, why didn’t he call him? He’s who he would normally call.

“Jisung, hey. What’s wrong?” You greet as you set your bag down and sit in the chair across from him.

“My dad died.”

He watches as you freeze before you blink slowly. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugs his shoulders, averting his eyes to look out the window. “I didn’t even know him that well, you know? And then my mom calls me crying and tells me that he died because of a drunk driver.” He takes a deep breath. “I guess I just thought one of these days, when I’m older, I’ll finally get to know why he never bothered to stay around when I was growing up. That I’ll be able to tell him how well I’m doing despite how little he was around, and he’ll tell me that he’s sorry.” Jisung chuckles, shaking his head. He can feel tears start to well behind his eyes. “If you had known him, you would know that’s so unrealistic. Just a fantasy.”

Your face softens, and you nod your head. “That’s not a dumb thing to wish for. I don’t blame you for wanting your dad to show that he loves you.”

He nods, biting his lip. “All my life, I’ve never thought of myself as lacking. My mom was all I needed, and I didn’t need a man to teach me how to be one. But now that he’s dead, it just hurts. And I don’t know why it hurts, and I think that’s why I feel as upset as I do.”

Jisung looks at you with what he can only imagine are pleading eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, he just hopes you have it.

“I’ll be honest, Jisung, I don’t know what to say. Both my parents were as loving as they could have been, despite being gone a lot. If I had to guess, though, it hurts because even if you weren’t close with your dad, he’s still half of you. He was also in your life every day.”

Jisung nods his head once before tipping his head back. Just yesterday, if you asked him about his dad, he wouldn’t have hesitated to say said he didn’t want to talk about it. He wouldn’t even feel bad saying he was a jerk.

Now that he’s dead, he doesn’t know what he can say. Of course, he isn’t going to lie and say he was a great dad, but something feels unresolved.

“I think I feel guilty,” he admits, bringing his eyes back to focus on you.

“About what?”

“I feel guilty that he died, maybe thinking I hated him.” He shuts his eyes as a few tears escape his eyes, and he quickly wipes them. “I don’t hate him.”

A silence sets over you two, and Jisung suddenly realizes how unfair it is of him to suddenly dump this on you.

“I’m sorry-“

“I didn’t know your dad,” you say, cutting him off, “so I can’t say for sure what he thought. Even if I had met him, I wouldn’t be able to say. But unless he was completely delusional, then he was able to see what a good kid you are. If he saw that, then he’d know you didn’t hate him. You should talk to your mom about it. She knows your dad better than anyone—I mean, assuming you’re not close to his parents.”

“Yeah, okay. Would you-would you come with me? When I go back home later today?”

You nod your head. “My last class ends at 2:30 pm. Can you wait until then?”

Jisung nods his head. He’s stopped crying, but he can imagine his eyes look glossed over. “Yeah. I’m not going today so I can meet you outside your class. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, let me just send you the classroom number so you remember where it is,” you respond, pulling out your phone. His eyes are drawn to your wrist and to the black line drawn across it.

He’s noticed that recently you have stopped hiding it. Before, you used to wear long sleeves or cover it with make-up. It was weird seeing the initials of his ex-girlfriend written in black across your skin. Next to the black line is the scar with Jaemin’s initials.

“I’m sorry.”

You tilt your head to the side, setting your phone on the table in front of you. “Oh, I don’t mind. I’m happy to come back with you and be there for you. You’re someone I really care about.”

“No, not that. I don’t know why I wasn’t more specific about that. I just mean, I’m sorry about the scar on your arm. From me.”

You raise your hand, twisting it around to look at the scar on the inside of your wrist. “You can’t help who you fall in love with,” you whisper, dropping your wrist. Taking a deep breath, you smile at him, hoping to show that it doesn’t bother you as much anymore. “It’s okay. The actual scar didn’t hurt for long.”

“Yeah, but I wish I weren’t this way. I mean, if I were normal, I wouldn’t draw attention to myself, and you wouldn’t have that scar on your wrist.”

“What do you mean ‘draw attention to yourself?'”

Jisung sighs, looking away from you. “I loved Jaemin, and I liked Gaewon. That’s different than normal. And since I’m that way, I’ll have to tell people, and then they’ll have it in the back of their mind whenever they talk to me that I like both men and women. That I’m bisexual.” He whispers the last part, not even wanting to say the word bisexual.

He’s never said the words “I’m bisexual” out loud before, and he never knew words could be so hard to say. He remembered when he finally decided on a label; he was so happy he almost cried. Here was this label that perfectly described what he felt, and here was this community of people who were telling the same story he was living.

After a few days, however, he found the joy slowly start to seep away. He identifies with the label, yes, but he hates it. Since he found out, he would go through different periods where he was okay with who he was and periods where he hated his label. His whole life, he has never wanted to stand out. Now though, he’ll stand out to anyone who knows. Which, right now, is one too many.

“If it’s any consolation, I’ve known about this side of you for as long as I’ve known we’re soulmates, and I’ve never thought of you any different because of it. You’re the same Park Jisung that spilled coffee on me. If I ever thought about you loving Jaemin, it was never thoughts of disgust or judgment. Maybe jealousy, but never judgment.”

He looks at you, watching your face for any hints of dishonesty. He sighs, averting his eyes. “Thank you y/n. I didn’t mean to talk about this today; I guess I got carried away on the emotion train. But I’ll see you at 2:30?”

You nod your head, smiling softly at him. “Yeah, sounds good. Call me or Jaemin if you need anything else.”

---

You glance over to the boy sitting next to you, nervously bouncing his leg. He seemed different than when you met him that morning; more nervous.

“Is everything okay?”

He glances over at you before returning his gaze to look out the subway window across from your seats. “I just haven’t been back in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother very much. It was just too weird with him there. But it will still be just as weird. On top of that, I’m coming back home with my soulmate who I haven’t told her is my soulmate, and I feel bad lying to her. I just feel like if I tell her, there will be some kind of pressure on us to act like traditional soulmates. Which I know is something you want, so then I circle back to feeling this pressure that isn’t even there. Now I’m stress rambling.”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “You’re okay, Jisung. Let’s take that apart point by point. No matter what you do, going back right now is going to be weird. But if you go now, it won’t be as stressful in the future; and that is something to look forward to. Now about us being soulmates. You don’t need to tell her if you don’t want to, but if you feel bad lying, just tell her the truth. And the truth is that we’re waiting for our relationship to develop more before we do anything else. You don’t need to feel bad about jumping straight into a relationship with me because you think that’s what I want to do. What I want to do is whatever you want to do.”

He sighs, ruffling his hair in what you assume to be stress. “But I’m worried you’re just saying that because you know that’s what I want to hear. You can be honest with me. I can take it.”

“I am being honest!” you laugh. “Trust me, Jisung, if I were the type of person to try and force you into a relationship, you’d know.”

He smiles. “Yeah, okay, I’m sorry. I’m letting the stress get to me.”

“Yes, yes you are.” You pat his knee.

---

“This is it,” Jisung whispers as you come to a stop outside an apartment door.

You turn your head to look at him, rubbing his arm in comfort. He sighs, shakily pressing in the code. He rests his hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open. “Mom, I’m back. I brought a friend with me too.”

“Jisung!” his mom laughs. She walks around the corner, wiping her eyes. “You should have told me you were bringing someone! I would’ve cleaned myself up a bit. Hi, I’m Jisung’s mom.”

You smile, bowing in greeting. “Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Park. You look just fine. My name is y/n.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you. But you don’t have to lie.” She smiles briefly before turning to Jisung. Her eyes start to water as soon as they meet his, and you move out of the way so she can hug him. “It’s been so long.”

“I know, mom,” he says, hugging her back. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back.”

She pulls back, giving him an adoring smile. “Are you guys hungry? It’s around lunchtime, isn't it? Want me to make you something?”

“No, mom,” he shakes his head. “Let’s go out to eat. I imagine you need to get out of the house.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” her voice breaks, and a few more tears escape from her eyes. “Really. I’m okay.”

Your heart breaks, and you smile softly. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Park, that’s on my part. I told Jisung I wanted to take you out to eat since it’s my first time meeting you.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that.” She dabs at her eyes.

“But I want to! Your son and his friend are the only close friends I have, and I want to show you my gratitude for bringing him into this world. He really is an important person to me, and it’s important to tell people that you’re grateful for them.”

She blinks at you a few times, more tears streaming from her eyes. “That’s—thank you for saying that. As a mother, that is the best thing I could ever hear.”

You smile softly. “So you’ll let me take you and your son out to eat?”

She smiles, sniffling. “Yes, of course, I will. Let me go freshen up, and then we can go! Jisung, show our guest to the living room.”

He nods his head. “Yeah, right this way.”

You send his mom a smile before following him to the living room. He sits down on the blue couch across from the tv, patting the spot next to him.

“Thank you for covering for me. I didn’t know how I was going to come back from that,” he says softly, staring blankly ahead.

“No problem. And I meant what I said. I’ve been trying to let people know when I’m grateful for them, and I’d say I’m grateful you’re alive. It’s the least I can do, especially after her loss.”  

“That’s all?”

You tilt your head to the side, laughing at the silly question. "What do you mean ‘that’s all?' What other reason could there be?”

He smiles, shaking his head. “Nothing, never mind.”

“Okay, weirdo.”

“You know, when I was in high school, my mom and I used to watch TV here every night while we ate dinner.”

You smile softly, looking around the room. “Really? That sounds nice.”

He nods his head. “It was. She said she wished we could do family dinners, but they made her feel awkward because it was never something her family did.”

“I get that. As someone who had family dinners whenever both my parents were home, there could be some awkward dinners. Especially after a fight.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he sighs. “We’ve always been so close, y/n, so why am I having such a hard time coming up with things to say to her?”

“Because this is an extremely hard thing to deal with,” you answer. “I don’t know what I’m going to say to one of my parents when the other one dies other than that I’m here for them. But I won’t be in the situation you’re in now. You have to figure out how to ask your mom about your dad. My parents may not have been around a lot either, but I know they loved me and I know the type of people they are.”

He leans his body against the couch, sliding down so his head is resetting against the top of the cushion. “When should I ask? Is right now too soon?”

“I don’t know, Jisung. Maybe you should spend some time with her and see where she’s at? But I don’t think waiting is going to help anything either. If you can spend the night, I would do that. Then you don’t have to feel like there’s any type of rush.”

"Would you,” he hesitates, turning his head to look at you. His eyes look so tired. “Would you be able to stay with me?”

You open your mouth, ready to tell him you have work early in the morning and would only make it if you left before they work up. But the longer you look at his eyes, the more you can tell he needs you. You smile softly, nodding your head. “You’re lucky tomorrow is Saturday. Let me just call into work and tell them a family member passed away.”

His eyes widen, and he pushes himself back into a sitting position. “No, you don’t have to do that for me.”

“Nonsense. You’re my family, so therefore he was my family. I’d do the same for Chenle or Jaemin, assuming they didn’t ask someone else. Well, I’d do it for Chenle whether he asks or not, I’m afraid I love him too much.”

He smiles, not breaking eye contact. You try to give him what you hope is a comforting smile, finding it hard not to let it turn into a shy smile. There wasn’t anything different about the way he was smiling at you—it always made your heart skip a beat.

Ever since Jisung told you he would be willing to take it slow with you, you have found that his smiles are more heart-fluttering, and his normal characteristics are more charming. For the first time in your life, you understand what it means to have a crush on someone.

"Okay, I'm ready to go!" Mrs. Park announces, walking into the room, digging around in her purse for something. "Where were you thinking of going?"

"Wherever your favorite restaurant is," you answer, pushing yourself off the couch.

She laughs. "Okay, how about we go to your favorite restaurant, Jisung? The Italian one?"

"Yeah!" Jisung answers, and you jump slightly at how unexpectedly close he was. "I haven't been there in forever."

"Italian it is then! Let's go."

--

Jisung doesn’t know what to feel.

He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep tonight. After he got the call from his mother about his dad’s death, he knew he was going to be up all night thinking about their time together and how unnecessarily mean he had been at times. Because of you, however, he had the strength to ask his mom questions he otherwise would have never asked. Because of you, he was able to hear that his father loved him the best way he knew how. That his mother had known him for a very long time, had seen his relationships with other people, and knew that his dad loved him more than anyone in the world. She showed him a box of memories his father had been saving for when he turned 21. Inside were photos of him from when he was younger.

She told him she thought he was a very sad man. She thinks he wanted to love her, but he couldn’t. She doesn’t know why, and when he asked what made her think such a thing, she just shrugged.

“I know how it looked, Jisung-ah,” she had said. “He did stay out late, he sometimes stayed out for days on end, and he felt distant from us. I know sometimes it felt like he was just this person instead of a father. Believe me, sometimes it didn’t even feel like I was married. I can’t explain it exactly, but I just got the feeling he wanted to love us but couldn’t. Maybe it was the box he made me promise to never tell you about or the new toys that would sometimes appear out of nowhere when you were a kid or the gifts that would be mailed to my office on our wedding anniversary or my birthday that makes me think this. I think he knew what was right, but he just didn’t feel those things, and I think that made it hard for him to be around us.”

While that didn’t make the past better, and he still holds a little resentment towards his dad for treating his mother so poorly, he thinks he might be able to better come to terms with his death. Even though he doesn’t know if he can say his dad was a good dad, he might be able to say he did his best.

In the end, his mom thinks his dad loved him. When he had tearfully asked her if she thought his dad thought he hated him, she told him that she doubted the thought had ever crossed his mind.

So when he set off to bed tonight, even though he wasn’t excited to share a bed with his mother—he had found out at a pretty young age that he hated sharing a bed with people—he thought he would be able to sleep tonight. That because the thoughts of his father weren’t taking up as much space in his mind as they used to, he would be okay. The thoughts of you, however, are loud enough to keep him up.

He has told himself that there can never be anything between you two because you’re soulmates. He had planned to let this continue until the end of college, where you would both go your separate ways, and he would try and let you down in a way that didn’t make you completely hate him. But lately, you’ve been turning his plan upside down.

He isn’t sure when exactly the plan started to go astray, but he does know that today was the wake-up call he needed to see things weren’t going how he planned. Maybe it was because of how emotional today was that he is suddenly feeling a strong pull towards you. He just knows that the way you helped him with his mom, the way you dropped everything to stay the night with him, and the way you constantly made him feel loved makes him want to spend every second of the day with you.  

“Shit,” he whispers, quickly covering his mouth and turning his head to see if he woke his mother up.

Falling for someone has never scared him before. Granted, he doesn’t have that much experience, the two times he had done it hadn’t scared him. Sure, falling for Jaemin had been worrying at times, but it never scared him. This—you—terrified him.

He wasn’t supposed to catch feelings for you. Hell, he wasn’t even supposed to meet you. Jisung sighs, flipping onto his other side and hugging the blanket closer to himself. He focuses on the warmth of his mother next to him and on trying to hear her breathing. He’ll deal with this tomorrow.

---

“Good morning dear, y/n made breakfast.”

Jisung freezes in place, looking between you and his mom sat at the small dining table.

“There’s some food in the pan on the stove. Grab a bowl and come join us,” his mom suggests, pulling out the chair between you two and smiling up at him.

He slowly nods his head, looking between you both once again before turning around towards the pan. “What is it?”

“It’s eggs and tomato. It’s one of Chenle’s favorite dishes, and I learned how to make it the other day,” you answer. “I was told I wasn’t allowed to leave until I got the recipe down. So since I had to deal with Chenle lovingly criticizing my every move, I thought, why not try it out on you two.”  

“Chenle, that’s an interesting name. Are they your soulmate?”

“No, he’s just their friend,” Jisung answers, staring down as he sets his plate on the table and takes the seat next to his mom.

He looks up as he scoots his chair closer to the table, quickly averting his eyes as he makes eye contact with you. He doesn’t miss the strange look you give him.

“Oh, okay. Sorry I assumed. I just thought that because you knew his favorite food, you must be soulmates. But thinking about it now, he could’ve also been your sibling,” his mom laughs.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Park. He and I are very compatible—sometimes it surprises me that we aren’t soulmates.”

She laughs, reaching over to pat your hand. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you have such a good friend. Jisung here has never bothered to bring the infamous Jaemin over. I have no way of knowing if my Jisung is in good hands.”

Jisung looks at his mother, holding her stare as she smiles at him. He knows she’s trying to embarrass him; she never talks like this. He squints slightly at her—he isn’t going to let her win.

You laugh, and he breaks eye contact with his mom to look over at you.

“Having met Jaemin, I can assure you he and Jisung are just as compatible as me and Chenle. He’s a great match for Jisung.”

“Well, if you’re any indication in his choice of friends, then I’m sure he’s great. It’s been a joy getting to know you, and I really appreciate you being here for my son. Speaking of,” she turns her attention away from you and looks at him, her eyes changing from teasing to sad. “I think I’m going to spend a few weeks with my mom. It’s—” she pauses, looking around the room. “It’s too hard being here.”

Jisung tilts his head to the side, setting his spoon down. “Of course, mom. Do you need me and y/n to help you pack some stuff?”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. I only ask that you stay here with me until I’m done packing. I’m used to the house being quiet, but this is too much.”

You nod your head. “Yeah, of course. When you sleep in someone’s room, you get a sense of who they really are. And I have some questions for your son.”

Jisung scrunches his nose, and before he can respond in some sarcastic way, his mother interrupts him.

“I think that’s a great idea. You guys hang out, Jisung, show your friend the photo album, and then we can all leave together!”

He nods his head, smiling softly at his mom. “Okay, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

She smiles at you two before she pushes back the chair and walks to her room. Jisung lets a silence settle between you two for a second before he takes a deep breath and picks up his bowl. “Ready to go?”

You nod your head, pushing back your chair and following him to his room.

“Was the bed comfortable?”

“Yeah, thanks again for letting me take your bed.”

He nods his head, turning the knob and pushing open the door. “No problem. You’re already doing me a huge favor by staying here with me. The least I can do is let you sleep in an actual bed. Now have a seat on the bed. There was something I wanted to show you, so this is a good chance to show you.”

You nod your head, taking a seat on his bed and crossing your legs. He sets his bowl on the ground before walking over to his dresser and pulling out a photo book from the bottom drawer. He takes a seat next to you on the bed, setting the book between you two before bending forward to pick his bowl back up.

“This is my own photo album. I don’t think my mom even knows about this one.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Why doesn’t she know about it?”

He shrugs, taking a bite of his food. “I started it as a way for me to have my own album. When I was younger, I loved looking through my mom’s photo albums, and I wanted to start one for my future kids. One day, I was going through photos with her, and she threw away some photos she didn’t like. But those photos were important to me, so when she left the room, I took them from the trash and kept them here.”

“That’s sweet, Jisung.”

He shrugs. “You can look through it.”

Jisung hasn’t looked through this album in forever. Granted, when he was younger, he only ever looked through it when adding a new photo—which wasn’t often. This time, however, until this morning, he forgot he even had this album. He watches as you flip through the album, smiling at the photos of his first cat and some photos when he went to camp.

He lets his eyes drift from the album up to you. You’re smiling down at the album, commenting on how cute he was as a kid. Sitting here with you feels like something from a movie. He is sitting with you, on his bed, him finishing his breakfast and you wearing one of his shirts and pajama pants—they were technically his dad’s, but they had been put in his room a long time ago, and he never bothered to give them back—and he’s showing you something he’s never shown anyone. It feels surreal.

He puts the spoon in his mouth without any food and lets it hang there, hand still holding onto the handle. His thoughts from last night suddenly come rushing back, and he feels slightly anxious. He's falling for you, and he is slowly accepting that. But now that he's starting to accept that, he feels anxious not telling you. At the same time, the idea of telling you makes him anxious. He inwardly sighs, why is life so hard?

“Hey, Jisung,” you say, lightly touching his arm. “Is the spoon better than the food?”

He shakes his head and takes the spoon out of his mouth. “Hum? What do you mean?”

You laugh softly. “I asked you a question, and you didn’t answer. So I looked up, and you were just sitting there with a spoon in your mouth. I tried to make a joke, but I’m not very funny.”

“Oh, no, sorry. The food was great, all of Chenle’s loving nagging paid off. It’s just a thing I do when I finish my food, and I guess I got lost in thought. What was your question?”

“I was just asking who this was,” you answer, pointing to a photo.

“Oh, that’s Eunseong, one of my mom’s old friends.” He smiles down at the photo. It was a photo of him, his mom, and Eunseong looking for a Christmas tree. “He lived with us for a while.”

“Can I ask why?”

“When I was in fifth grade, my dad got transferred down to Busan for a year. Not that my dad helped all that much, but mom thought she needed more help so she invited Eunseong to live with us for a year. I think she just wanted to have someone you know? This was one of the photos she threw out.”

“What? Even though it is none of my business, why did she do that? You all look so happy.”

“Well, he felt like I did about my dad and wanted my mom to leave him. His soulmate had died, and I think he had feelings for her. Anyways, I remember there being this argument where he said that if she didn’t leave my dad, then he was done with us. They thought I was asleep, it was like five am so I was supposed to be. I remember her crying and nothing else. But the next few days he was still there and I thought it would be okay. Then, like a week before my dad came home, they got into another fight. I’m not sure what this one was about, but it was really bad. He yelled at her, and then he just left. He just left her, crouched on the floor and bawling her eyes out. I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there with her. I decided then that I wouldn’t miss him. He came back the next day while I was at school, grabbed his stuff, and left.”

A silence settles over you two once again, eyes never leaving the photo.

“I’m sorry,” you finally say. “That sounds hard. But why would you want to keep this photo?”

“He was still part of my life. He was only with us for one year, but he actually ate with us on the couch. And while I’ve never thought I needed a constant father figure in my life, he was the closest thing I had to one. I remember that year when we were making gifts for our parents on parents day, I told the teacher I had two dads—one stepdad and one dad,” He shakes his head, trying to get his thoughts back on track, “Anyway, the point of the story was to say that while I may not have liked him at the end, he was still an important part of my life. And I think it’s important to remember him.”

“I agree with you. I think it’s important to remember even the hurtful memories. They help us grow.”

He nods his head in agreement. “I even have some of my parents' wedding photos; despite my mother hating how she looks in them. Of course, she still has some in her albums, but none of them are out to see. I think she looks beautiful in them.”

He turns the page and finds the photo of his mom and dad at their wedding. The photo he has is one of his favorites; one where his mom and dad are standing next to their parents. He always loved this photo because his mother looked so radiant. Aside from that, the idea that there was once a time his mom and dad were happy is something he’s always dreamed about. He knew, however, that the smiles in the photos weren’t one hundred percent genuine on his mother’s part. She always mentioned how stressed she was when planning it and that she was glad she never had to do it again.

“She is beautiful,” you agree.

“My dad looks so young,” he comments quietly.

“He’s very handsome. I guess you take after him.”

“No, I don’t look like either of my parents. My mom says I have his eyes, but I’ve never been able to see it.”

“Okay, be that as it may, I was just trying to compliment you on your looks and you should take the compliment.”

You laugh softly, and normally, Jisung would’ve laughed with you. This time, he just looks at you. The more he thinks about it, the more you and Jaemin have similar characteristics. You both care for him, you both have that teasing attitude (although Jaemin is more… aggressive with his actions), and you both mean the world to him. He thought that once he found out you were his soulmate, he would realize how incompatible you two are; how unfit you two are to be a couple.

Being here with you, watching as you cared for him and his mother in little ways, has made him realize how close to perfect you two could be.

“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I did.”

“No, it’s not that. I just think—”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” his mom says, poking her head into the room. “but I think I should let you two know I’ll be ready to leave soon so if you want to leave with me you might want to change now. Of course, you guys can stay after I leave, I just thought I’d let you two know.”

“Are you okay with leaving with her or do you want some more time to get ready?” He asks turning his attention back to you.

“We can leave with you, Mrs. Park. Let me just go get changed, I’ll do the dishes, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

“Oh you don’t have to do the dishes,” Jisung says.

“Nonsense. I’m the one who made the mess in a house that isn’t mine, I should be the one to clean it up,” you answer pushing yourself off the bed.

“Really, I don’t mind. You cooked us food. Plus you’re my guest, what kind of a host would I be if I let you do more than you already have?”

“Park Jisung,” you say, not turning to look at him as you bend to pick up your folded pile of clothes. “If you don’t let me do these dishes, I will get your roommate to lock you out of your dorm for a week, leaving you cold and sad.”

“You do that and I’ll get Jaemin Hyung to—”

“Oh, you’ll get him to do what?”  

“Well, if you’d let me finish, I’d be able to tell you now wouldn’t I?”

“Like you have it in your heart to hurt me.”

He rolls his eyes, a small smile breaking out. “Okay one, I never said I’d hurt you. And two, right now it isn’t hard to imagine causing you a small inconvenience.”

“Did you hear that Mrs. Park? Your son is threatening me,” you walk towards his mom, stopping once you’re next to her.

His mom laughs, shaking her head slightly. “My my Jisung, how college has changed you. That is no way to treat a friend.”

“That’s low l/n, telling on me to my mom.”

You wink at him over your shoulder. “I’m here to win, Park.”

Before he can get another word in, you’re already walking towards the bathroom.

“I’m glad you have a friend like that,” his mom says softly.

“Yeah, me too.” He turns his attention away from the last place you where to his mother. “Hey mom?”

“Yeah hun?”

“I- uh,” he starts hesitantly, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Can you come here a sec? And could you close the door? I want to talk to you privately.”

“Yeah, of course,” she answers, quickly closing the door and taking your spot on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. I just—I just want to thank you. You’ve always been there for me, and I want you to know that I appreciate it.”

“You don’t need to thank me, I’m just doing my job as a mother. Is that all you needed to talk to me about?” She asks, worry lacing her tone.

“No, not exactly. I, um, I met my soulmate.”

He looks up from his hands in time to see his mother’s eyes widen and she excitedly pulls him into a hug. “Oh my gosh Jisung! That’s great, I’m so excited for you.”

He hugs her “Yeah, it’s been something.”

His mom pulls away, a bright smile spread across her face. “I always thought you didn’t know what your mark was; what’s your mark? Tell me about her.”

“It’s the tally mark one. See?” He turns his wrist out so she can see the black tally mark spread across his skin. She grabs his wrist, lightly tracing over the black line.  “But before I tell you about my soulmate, I have a few things I want to talk about.”

“Sure, go for it.”

“If I— if my—” he takes a deep breath, “Sorry, I’m kind of nervous.”

“No it’s okay baby, take your time. But I am kind of worried, is there anything wrong?”

“No no, nothing is wrong. Well, hopefully not anyways. If my soulmate were a... if they were a boy how would you feel?”

His mom freezes, and he quickly averts his eyes to his hands. I can’t believe I said that, I should have waited to tell her. God, what am I thinking?

“Is your soulmate a boy?” She asks hesitantly.

“I—just if they were, what would you feel? If I dated someone or liked someone who was a man, what would you say?”

“I don’t know Jisung, I’ve never thought about it,” she takes a deep breath, and he can tell she isn’t any less relaxed. “If I’m being honest, because you know how I feel about beating around the bush, it would make me slightly uncomfortable. But it’s not because I have anything against your soulmate being a man, I would prefer them to be a woman, it’s just because it’s different. Different is hard. But who you date or who your soulmate is won’t change the fact that you’re my son and I love you with my whole heart. I would die for you, Jisung, and while I might find it uncomfortable at first I could get over it.”

Jisung looks up at his mom, feeling his eyes well with tears. “Do you mean that? You really wouldn’t care?”

She nods her head self-assured. “Like I said, I would prefer it if it were a woman, but we can’t help who our soulmates are. If they just so happen to be a man, I’ll get over my hesitance towards it. But I don’t want you to worry about what I think, Jisung. You just need to live your life however that is.”

He feels a few tears escape his eyes. “I—thank you. Thank you.”

Jisung never knew how much of a weight this question had been bearing on him. While the answer isn’t exactly an ideal answer, it is still better than what he feared she would say. The fact that his mother is willing to change for him is good enough.

“Now,” his mom smiles, patting his knee. “Why don’t you go get changed and then we can leave together? It was an emotional day yesterday, and I think we both need to leave this house.”

Jisung nods his head, smiling weakly at his mother as she walks out the room. Jisung spent a lot of time in the house alone, so he is used to the house being quiet. His mom is right, though, now that his father is dead, the house is too quiet. He hasn’t been left alone since he got here, but now that he’s sitting alone in his room he understands what his mother was talking about. Even though his dad wasn’t around much, it still felt weird being in the house knowing his dad wasn’t going to be coming through the door ever again, no matter how late.

Taking a deep breath, he pushes himself off the bed and walks towards the closet. Pulling open the middle drawer, he looks down at the cloths inside. He hasn’t worn these clothes since he left for college. They are mostly the clothes his father had given him before he left.

It was when he had been away on a business trip for a week in Buyeo and he came home with three pairs of jeans and two shirts. It is the proudest he can remember his dad being of him. Even if he had tried to pass it off as his mom had told him that Jisung was running out of good clothes to wear and if he passed any clothing stores to get something. The fact that he even got him a congratulatory gift for getting into college had made Jisung falter.

“The one nice thing I know he actually did for me, and I never even showed him I appreciated it,” he whispers, smiling sadly as he pulls one of the shirts and one of the pants out of the drawer.

“I really want to thank you,” he hears his mom say as he leaves his room. “It means a lot to me that you’re here for my son.”

“Jisung is someone really important to me, Mrs. Park. You did a good job with him.”

“I don’t know what Jisung has told you about my husband, but he helped a little too. I think him being as… absent as he was really helped shape him into the person he is today.”

He leans against his door, listening to his mom talk. They have never really talked about his dad much, other than the few times he asked his mom why she stayed. It was new hearing her talk about him like this.

“Well, you and Mr. Park did an amazing job raising your son. Like I said, he’s an amazing person and someone who means a lot to me and Jaemin.”

“Yeah, yeah we did a good job didn’t we?”

---

“Will you come get some coffee or something with me?” Jisung asks, nervously messing with his hands behind his back.

“Sure! So long as it isn’t the place I work. I’m supposed to be grieving with family,” you answer, smiling brightly at him.

“Before we met you, there was a favorite place me and Jaemin Hyung loved to go. Let’s go there!”

You nod once, linking your arm with his and following him as he leads you down the street.

Jisung feels his heart skip a beat and he smiles to himself. After his talk with his mom, he feels like he can do anything. He had plans to talk to you today no matter what, but knowing his mom was accepting of who he was helped him feel more confident. As Jaemin would remind him constantly, confidence is key.

It didn’t take long for you to get to the shop from the bus station. When he enters the shop, he looks around in wonder. It had been a year since he had been here and it still looks the same. Along with his mom accepting him, it helped to be in a place he was comfortable with.

“What do you want to drink? I’m paying,” he offers as you’re both staring at the menu.

“You don’t have to do that Jisung,” you answer slowly, still reading the menu. “I can pay for myself.”

“Nonsense, you paid for our dinner last night, this is on me.”

“If you’re sure,” you answer hesitantly. “I’ll order, and then I’ll go get us a table.”

“It’s nice out, why don’t we sit outside?”.

You raise your hand to flash him an okay sign before walking up to the register and ordering. He watches as you smile at the cashier, nodding your head once before you turn towards the left and out the side door towards the outside seating.

“God, today feels so long,” you sigh, leaning over the back of the chair and stretching your arms out.

Jisung chuckles. “Yeah, and it’s only one in the afternoon.”  

“When I get back to my dorm, I’m just going to lounge.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Hey y/n,”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”

“I’m feeling really good right now. Well, let me rephrase that. It’s been an emotional few days. And in those few days, you have been there for me. These past few days, my dad has died, I talked to my mom to try and figure out the mess that is my relationship with my father, and then I talked to my mother about her feelings on me dating a man. So overall, I’ve been all over the place the past two days.” He laughs and you laugh nervously with him. “My point is, you’ve been there for me. You’ve been there for me despite how complicated I made our relationship, however many weeks ago.”

You awkwardly laugh, and Jisung worries he’s made you uncomfortable. “You don’t need to thank me, Jisung. That’s what friends are for.”

“Um yeah, but we’re not friends. We’re soulmates.”

Your face drops. “I tried to take things slow. I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I’ve been trying to keep things normal. I’m so sorry.”

“Are you done?” Jisung asks, trying to smile comfortingly despite how much he was freaking out on the inside.

“Yeah, yeah I’m done. Just know that I’m so sorry if I forced this whole soulmate thing on you.”

“Okay, first of all, you should be able to see that I’m trying to tell you how grateful I am for you. Did you miss the part at the beginning where I told you how you’ve been there for me?”

“I thought that was a way of you saying ‘you overstepped your boundaries as my soulmate being just a friend’ and that you needed space from me,” you answer quietly.

“You shouldn’t think so much,” he chuckles. “I said what I said to show you that I’m thankful for what you’ve done for me and my family.”

“Oh, well like I said, it’s what friends are for.”

“And like I said, we’re not friends; we’re soulmates.”

“See, that right there,” you point a finger at him, shaking it slightly, “This is what confused me. What is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, we’re soulmates. That’s what the tally marks on our wrist mean.”

You blink at him. “I’m aware of that, Jisung.”

“And you’ll have to forgive me, because I know I’ve been going about this all wrong but I’m really nervous right now.” He clears his throat, smiling nervously. “What I was trying to say is that you’ve been there for me the past two days. Had this happened five months ago, Jaemin Hyung would have been the one in your place. I’ll be honest, at first, I wasn’t sure why I even called you. I mean yeah, things with Hyung haven’t been the easiest since he found his soulmate, but he’s still someone I find comfort in; he’s my best friend. But since I spent this time with you, you have shown me how much you love me. Let me just say, it’s nice knowing someone loves me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted; someone besides my mom to love me unconditionally.”

“How do you know I love you unconditionally?” You joke, but he can see it in your eyes that you’re nervous.

“Well I guess you never said those words specifically. But you said you’ve loved me since you were a kid, and that just makes me feel warm inside. I think I should chase that feeling.”

“Jisung I’m still not understanding.”

“I’m saying, I think I want to try being soulmates.”

Your eyes widen, and he can tell you’re fighting back a smile. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be caught up in everything that’s happened and just tell me what you think I want to hear. I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I won’t regret this, y/n. The only reason I didn’t ask you sooner is because you’re my soulmate. I held you to this standard that we would be an unfit match together, and thankfully you failed to meet that standard. I think we would be a good fit.”

Jisung watches a wide smile spread across your face. “Jisung I promise you you’re not going to regret this. We’ll go as slow as you want to and you let me know anytime I make you uncomfortable. This—thank you Jisung, thank you so much.”

He mirrors your smile. He knew you were going to agree to this, but there was still that underlying fear that you’d reject him. “I know, trust me I know. I want to thank you once again for being patient with me. I know I’ve probably been taking this slower that you would’ve liked, but you have been so understanding of me. Even when I was being selfish.”

“Well, all you needed was for me to point out your self centeredness and you snapped right out of it,” you respond, leaning back in your chair.

He smiles, nodding in agreement. “Yeah yeah, you were right. But look where we are now! We’re able to sit here and have a nice cup of drink.”

You laugh loudly, a sweet smile still spread across your face. “Yes, we are having a nice cup of drink. Nicely put Park.”

“Thank you thank you, Korean is my first language” he tips his head slightly as a bow.  “You know,” he starts slowly, averting his eyes to look down at his cup he has yet to take a drink from. “If you are having a good time, this could be our first date?”  

When you don’t answer right away, he looks up at you. “Or, don’t be afraid to say no. I didn’t even ask you. Not that it has to be me who asks for the first date, I just thought that since we’re waiting on me to be ready, I should be the one to ask.”

Laughing, you cover your mouth with your hand. “I am so happy right now even your rambling is cute.”

“You should move your hand away from your mouth when you speak, it isn’t very polite.”

“Awww, look at you,” you coo, leaning forward onto the table. “You’re embarrassed. You're clenching and unclenching your fist and you won’t look me in the eye. You’re so cute.”

“I can take back my offer, you know. I’m not afraid to take back my offer, and leave you here,” he threatens. He knows you don’t take him seriously, based on the euphoric smile plastered on your face. That, and the fact his words hold no truth to them. You have him pegged.

“Oh come on,” you whine. “The date has already started, you can’t back out now Park.”

“Oh, so you are agreeing to this being a date?” He cringes slightly at how excited his voice sounds.

“Of course I am! Jisung, I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was little. So sitting here, with my wonderful soulmate who bought me a nice cup of drink, why wouldn’t I say yes?”

He nods his head once, smiling widely. “I um, wow I’ll be honest I thought you were going to say no. I had plans to take you to dinner or something.”

“You can still take me to dinner, can’t say I’d complain.”

“Yeah, but I have to keep the bar low. If I start at the top,” he brings his right hand up a few inches above the table, “then I can only go down. But if I start here,” he brings his left hand up and dramatically sets it on the table, almost spilling his drink, “then I can only go up.”

“Ah, good plan, good plan. Do tell, what comes next from here?”

“I’m thinking a few convenience store runs, maybe a trip to the zoo or something. We got to slowly build our way up, you know?”

You nod your head thoughtfully. “Yeah okay, that sounds smart. I mean, it’s not like we’re soulmates or anything so why try and impress me right?”

He snaps his fingers, pointing at you. “See, look at you go, you smart little thing.”

You roll your eyes, picking up your drink and blowing softly on it. He shakes his head, smiling softly.

“Hey y/n?”

“Hm?” you hum, finally taking a sip of your drink.

“I think we’re going to be really happy.”

You bite your lip, smiling as you set your cup down. “Yeah, yeah I think so too.”

---

Okay! Sorry for how weird this was posted, I’m the slowest reader alive so it took me forever to do the final read through. Thank you yo @jiwvnie for reading more than I told her she had to, I truly appreciate her. I have always wanted to write a soulmate au so I would love to know what you thought of this. 

Have a great day/night!!

Masterlist

[milfgyuu]

Love Language → Pairing: Na Jaemin (NCT) x GenderNeutral!Reader Tags: 500 words, Fluff, Suggestive, NCT What Is Love? Event, Some dancing + kissing. Summary: It’s nearly impossible to cook when bf!Jaemin is around.

“If you’re here to steal more food, you can forget it,” You huffed out the moment your boyfriend’s arms slipped around your waist and his chin hit your shoulder. 

Jaemin hummed quietly, ignoring your words as he began to sway you both to the beat of a song only he could hear. It worked of course, the little frown on your lips slowly turning up at the corners and Jaemin paused his humming just long enough to kiss your cheek. He was truly a nuisance in the kitchen but he was impossible to stay mad at when he was like this. 

You finally release the spoon in your hand and allow him to spin you around in his arms. “Hi,” he murmurs through a soft smile, pulling your arms up around his neck before returning his to your waist. 

“Hi,” You smile back at him, your eyes meeting his own before falling to his lips out of habit. For some reason this always happened when you tried to make a meal for the two of you. Cooking leads to dancing, and dancing leads to kissing, and by the time you finally got around to eating, your food was cold and swiftly replaced with fresh takeout. 

All your hard work gets put on the literal back burner when you look at him and that terribly wonderful smile he gives you every time he distracts you like this. Right on cue, he closes the distance, soft vibrations from his gentle humming pressing against your lips in a way that makes your knees weak. The moment his tongue slides over yours, you pull away with narrowed eyes. 

“Not this time, you menace,” You playfully chided him and he didn’t even bother to look guilty. 

Jaemin loosens his grip just enough to let you know that you’d won this round. He could be patient for a little while longer. Just long enough to sit for dinner before whisking you off to the bedroom like he had planned. You just knew his game all too well. 

“Maybe food is my love language, baby,” Jaemin teases, stealing one more kiss before he lets you turn back to the stove though he is not inclined to release the grip on your waist, opting to place his head back on your shoulder. 

“We both know exactly what your love language is, baby, and it isn’t food,” You laugh, one hand patting his linked hands while the other stirs the pot on the stove. 

“You say that as if you’re not my favorite full course meal.”

“Oh my go- please!” You laugh harder, pulling a chuckle from Jaemin’s pretty mouth, “You’re lucky I love you because that line was heinous.”

Jaemin squeezes you softly and kisses you just below your ear, “Made you laugh didn’t I?”

“Mhm,” You mumble back, still stirring the pot dazedly as Jaemin’s lips trail over the column of your throat. Your eyes begin to close on their own but you’re startled back to reality when his teeth scrape over your pulse point and they fly back open as you wiggle away from his grip.

“That’s it. You’re banned from the kitchen.”

NCT M.List | Main M.List

[seulgiswhoreee]

𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙾𝚠𝚗 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 | 𝙽𝙲𝚃 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚋 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕

Who is our creator? Who picks and chooses the families we’re put into and the lives we’re meant to lead? Is it definite? 23 individuals in their different kingdoms are all unhappy with their way of life but little do they know, that their future holds the unimaginable. Their story shifts, the plot thickens and the normal lives they once lived have been pushed to the side. 5 discover magic powers, 6 are urged into the evil of their kingdom, 6 are forced to kill off the Robin Hoods of their Kingdom, and as for the last 6? They are pushed into the monarchy of their Kingdom, forced to soon become King/Queen. These individuals have never met, their stories are in no way connected, but they all are able to choose their own fate.

If you would like to join this collab, please dm me with your desired member and role. Please reblog and join the discord server through the link I'll send once you have joined and your name is on the list.

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This is an NCT collab.

There are 22 member spots to fill, I will be taking one member for myself.

There are 4 roles to choose from and each role will have 5 or 6 members assigned to it.

It does not have to be genderneutral!reader x member. You may write a reader of a specific gender if it’s easier that way.

At least one person in the pairing has to fit the role (role!reader x samerole!member / role!reader x member / reader x role!member).

Stories do not have to be connected or in the same Kingdom.

First come, first serve basis.

The minimum word count is 3k.

The deadline will be in December 2022 because we all have lives.

You have to be 18+ to write smut and 16+ to write suggestive content.

No smut for Sungchan, Chenle, and Jisung.

Suggestive content for them is allowed, as long as it is not too heavy.

All genres are allowed as long as you have all of the warnings.

No non-con, dub-con, incest, pedophilia, anything like that.

You must have a discord so I can communicate with my writers.

If you change your URL and/or would like to drop out, please dm me on Tumblr or message me on Discord.

If you would like to drop out, please do it before June 2022 because I feel it would be difficult finding a new writer on such short notice.

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Writer One: @jaesspresso

Writer Two: @dreamyyang

Writer Three:

Writer Four: @urlocalnctstan

Writer Five: @pixiescriptures

Writer One: @seulgiswhoreee

Writer Two: @127-mile

Writer Three: @geminirules

Writer Four: @junjungsunwoo

Writer Five:

Writer Six: @symoneismeh

Writer One: @seulgiswhoreee

Writer Two: @hachanbaecon

Writer Three: @qianinterprises

Writer Four: @sakuracheol

Writer Five: @raven0499

Writer Six: @dundun-baby

- Writer One: @mingyuwus

Writer Two: @yuta-senpai

Writer Three: @jaxminskale

Writer Four: @moondustaeil

Writer Five: @dundun-baby

Writer Six: @leelatte

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Taeil: @urlocalnctstan

Johnny: @sakuracheol

Taeyong: @raven0499

Yuta: @127-mile

Kun: @moondustaeil

Doyoung: @hachanbaecon

Ten: @qianinterprises

Jaehyun: @seulgiswhoreee <3 (i spun a random spinner wheel lol)

Winwin: @mingyuwus

Jungwoo: @symoneismeh

Lucas: @yuta-senpai

Mark: @seulgiswhoreee

Xiaojun: @junjungsunwoo

Hendery: @jaxminskale

Renjun: @dreamyyang

Jeno: @geminirules

Haechan: @jaesspresso

Jaemin: @dundun-baby

Yangyang: @dundun-baby

Shotaro: @pixiescriptures

Sungchan:

Chenle: @leelatte

Jisung:

[fullmoonpieces]

christmas spirit

Haechan x GenderNeutral!Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Haechan cost you your best friend with his playboy ways and you’ve been bickering ever since, but a wise man once said: Christmas is the spirit of forgiveness

Warnings/Tags: Enemies to lovers-ish, fluff, suggestive themes, bickering, swearing

Prompt 11 from this list

-

You had met up with your friends at the local library to see each other once more before the Christmas break. Jisung and Chenle were discussing which games they were going to play, while Krystal pretended to listen, with a fond smile. Jaemin was excitedly bouncing in his chair, insisting, “This year I’ll learn to ice skate!”

“Right, and Haechan will find the love of his life and settle down,” Jeno commented, to which Haechan laughed and Jaemin pouted.

Haechan was seated across from you, slouched in his chair, arms nonchalantly swung over the armrests. He’d always been the flirty type, but about a year ago, he’d started sleeping around, the ‘no feelings involved’ kind of thing, which was fine, he could do whatever he wanted, but he crossed a line when he played your best friend.

She had stormed at you, furious and with tears running down her cheeks, yelling about how Haechan broke her heart and how she couldn’t bear to look at you.

She stopped talking to you after that. Every time you approached her, you were met with cold eyes and the same words: “We’re not friends. Leave me alone”.

You’d been positively furious with Haechan, and what had previously been a friendship between you two, had turned into bickering and curses. Your friend group had quickly grown accustomed to your bickering and even had a bet going on about who’d retort to murder first.

“Okay, but what are you actually doing this break Haechan?” Jaemin asked. “Who am I doing,” he corrected, “and it depends, I’ve got a couple in mind,” he smirked.

“Tasteless, Haechan,” you tell him, and he raises a challenging brow at you.

“You’re no fun, Y/n, such a bore,”

“Well at least I still have my dignity,” you retort to which he snorts and opens his mouth to respond, but he doesn’t get far, as he’s interrupted by your phone ringing.

You look at the screen and see that it’s your mom calling. “Hey, everything okay?” you speak.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Look, I’m sorry to be a bother, but we could really use your help at the shelter, it’s incredibly busy here today,” she tells you and you can instantly picture your mother rushing around the shelter, even with her fragile back.

“You’re never a bother, I’ll be there soon. Should I pick anything up on the way?”

“No, I think we’re good, love you!”

“Love you too, I’ll get going now!”

You quickly picked up your things, stuffing them in your bag. “Oooh,” Jeno hooted, “Is our Y/n finally seeing someone?”

“Sounds like it,” Krystal quips, and at this point, you’re packed and ready to go. You merely smile at their antics, and wave goodbye, “Gotta go, Merry Christmas you guys!” you yell as you’re running out the library, earning you a pointed look from the librarian.

-

As you left the library, Haechan couldn’t help but be disappointed. Right from the moment you’d picked up your phone, he’d had a sour taste in his mouth. Who was the person taking you from him? A frown adorned his face as you spoke into the phone, “Love you too”. And when Jeno and Krystal started teasing you, he didn’t participate, instead, he pondered, are they really seeing someone?

He decided right then and there, that this Christmas, he’d tell you how he felt, at the very least apologize for the past… before it was too late.

-

“I’ve handed out some extra blankets, do you need anything else at the moment?” You asked. You mom turned to you, still stirring the soup, she pointed to a door, “Get the boxes out there, will you? The ones with bread and cups,”

“Got it”.

You’d quickly located the box with bread but had been in a 10-minute search for the cups. Sighing, you decided to deliver the bread to the kitchen, before you search any longer. You carefully made your way to the kitchen, the box in your arms, obscuring your vision, and causing you to almost trip a couple of times. With a huff you put down the box, “Sorry it took so long mom, I couldn’t find the cups,” you said with a pout.

As you turn to face your mom, you’re shocked to find an equally shocked looking Haechan. Without thinking, you raise a pointed finger at him, “Who let him in?” At that, he huffs out a breath, and regains his usual nonchalant posture, “Very classy, Y/n”.

“You two know each other?” Your mom inquires from her spot at the stove. “Acquaintances,” you tell her, as Haechan lowers your arm that’s still pointing at him.

“We’re friends,” he corrects you, “I’ll go get the heaters,” and with that, he leaves the room.

You look to see your mom smiling at you. She raises a brow, “He’s cute,”

“Right, I’ll go look for that box!” You excuse yourself and rush to the storage room.

-

The meal had been served, and you’d seated yourself next to a nice elderly man who seemed to be alone. Throughout your chat, you’d been sneaking glances at Haechan. What was he doing at the homeless shelter? He couldn’t possibly have expected to meet you, he’d been just as surprised as you to see each other here. I guess he really is just here to help, you thought.

It was just so out of the ordinary to see him like that. His smirk had long ago been replaced with a genuine smile as he spoke to an elderly woman. He was wearing a ridiculously tacky Christmas sweater that you were sure he would never let your friends see him in.

The man beside you gently nudges your shoulder, “Preoccupied are we?” he smiles, and you look down embarrassed, “I’m sorry, just a lot on my mind,” you explained. He nodded thoughtfully, “You should talk to him, the guy you’ve been staring at,”

“I-I wasn’t staring!” You exclaim, flustered, “Besides, we have a history… he hasn’t exactly been a great guy,”

“I see… Still, my advice is the same. Christmas is the spirit of forgiveness, and who knows, maybe he had his reasons,” he finished with a smile.

You looked at Haechan again, a confused pout on your face, and saw him laughing with a little boy. He has a nice smile, you guess.

-

You pick up the trash bags silently and Haechan does the same. You silently curse out your mom for assigning you AND Haechan to carry the trash bags outside. He holds the door for you, and you step outside in the cold, instantly freezing as you weren’t wearing a jacket. No one breaks the silence until you’ve reached the waste container. He throws the bags in the container with a huff, and you finally get a closeup of his ridiculous sweater. You fail to hold in a chuckle, and without thinking, you mumbled: “You look strangely cute in that sweater”.

You instantly shut your eyes, and pray that he didn’t hear, but then he speaks up, “You’ve finally succumbed to my charms, huh?” And you look up to see an annoying smirk on his face, but what catches you off guard is the glint in his eyes and his tomato red cheeks. Must be the cold, you think.

“In your dreams,” you manage to speak, as you throw your bags in the container as well. He lets out a low chuckle, “You know it,” he says with a cheeky smile, and you’re reminded that he’s the biggest flirt in the entire town. Despite that, you can’t seem to look away, as snowflakes gently fall onto his head, one landing on his nose, making him look, dare you say, adorable.

“Right…” you sigh and turn to go inside again, but he grabs your arm, gently, much to your surprise.

“Listen, I never really apologized for you know, costing you your best friend and all, and I-”

“No need. It’s not like it’s bothered you the past year anyway, so-”

“No, I wanna explain. Please?” He looks at you pleadingly, and you find yourself turning to face him again. He sighs and you notice that he’s trembling slightly, and you start to doubt that it’s the cold. You consider placing a steadying hand on his shoulder, but let your hands fall to your sides instead.

“I made it very clear that it was a ‘no feelings involved’ thing, I made sure of that, but then she told me that she liked me, and I-I told her I didn’t feel the same, but I really wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, I promise. But when I told her that I didn’t like her, she got really mad and got all hysteric cause she-...”

He visibly gulped, and his cheeks reddened impossibly more and though you were curious to hear the rest, you waited patiently for him to continue. “She somehow knew that I-I kind of definitely had a crush on you, and before I knew it, she was cursing you out and blaming me being an idiot on you, so I just kind of… told her to piss off, and I know that wasn’t the best way to handle things, and I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I am not sorry that she left, cause quite frankly she was a bit of a bitch, and you deserved better,” he finished, out of breath.

You blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice, before Haechan nervously spoke again, “Y-Y/n?” You finally looked at him and realized just how vulnerable he looked, and all you could think about was how much you wanted to hug him.

That wasn’t what you did at all, however, instead you spoke: “The old man was right,”

“Excuse you?” He questioned, a nervous smile adorning his face, and you allowed yourself to finally admit that he was definitely adorable.

“Sorry I never even gave you a chance to explain,” you uttered, still baffled by his explanation. He nervously rubbed his neck, “It’s okay, I probably shouldn’t have slept with your best friend in the first place”. You looked at him incredulously, “Probably?” you asked with a laugh, and he joined in too.

“Come on, we should head inside, it’s freezing cold out here,” you spoke, and he smirked, “You’re right, we can’t have your mom thinking we’re up to no good,” he teased, and for the first time ever you were relieved to see he was back to his usual, smirking, nonchalant self.

You’d only just entered the warm building again, when your mom stopped you, “Freeze!” she yelled. “What. Why? Are you okay mom?” you asked from the doorframe, where you’d frozen in your spot.

She let out a girlish giggle and you shot her a confused look. “I think I’ll let Haechan explain, Sweetheart,” she mused as she speed-walked to the kitchen.

You turned to the boy, “What did she mean?” you asked with a confused pout, and he only let out a nervous laugh. When you tilted your head in question, he let out an awkward chuckle and pointed above your heads, to a subtly placed mistletoe.

Your cheeks were on fire at once, and you thought you might just pass out when you made eye contact with Haechan, whose nonchalant demeanour had quickly vanished again. Your eyes flickered to his lips for a second, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him. Your mind was running wild, searching for words to say, but stopped dead in its tracks, when his warm lips pressed against yours.

He pulled back as soon as his lips had touched yours, seemingly shocked by his own actions, as he started apologizing profusely.

You broke out of your trance and grabbed his cheeks, his face squished in your hands, and pressed a confident kiss to his lips. He felt so warm against you, his hands hesitantly went to gently hold your hips, and you found yourself thinking that this was home… he was home. Despite what you expected from him, the kiss was innocent, wholesome, and everything you could’ve asked for from a first kiss.

When you pulled away, both your faces were burning red, and as your eyes met, you couldn’t help the smile on your face, soon turning into a giggle, and Haechan quickly followed.

“Be mine?” He asked, beaming, and you thought you’d never seen anything more breathtaking. “Already am,” you told him, and placed a small peck onto his lips.

“Merry Christmas Haechan,”

“Merry Christmas, Love”.

[midnight-writ3r]

Morning glow

Haechan x Genderneutral reader

Genre: Tooth-rotting fluff

Inspired by: My soft hours for Donghyuck :'(

Summary: When the morning comes, you have to wake up from this dream. You have to leave this world of youthful euphoria and magical city lights, illuminating the darkness.

But fear not; Donghyuck is there to show you that the dream continues in the morning.

A/N: anyone want some super soft Donghyuck boyfriend? Because I do TT I really really do TT ugh, I love you fullsun <3

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"That was fun."

You smile to yourself, squeezing Donghyuck's hand in your own, "Agreed. I really thought Jeno was going to die when he attempted that flip from the fence."

"He'll probably regret that tomorrow" Donghyuck purses his lips in thought, "but one thing is for sure: I've never wanted to remember something so bad, the morning after a party."

You hum, feeling yourself sway with the couple of drinks you had had that evening. Donghyuck seems relatively stable on his feet, but when you look at him, he gives you that dopey, dazed grin that you know from all the parties you've been to together.

"You know what I wanna remember?" you ask after a while of silent walking.

"Renjun having to lick whipped cream from Jaemin's cheek?"

"No thank you" you snort. If you weren't so drunk you might have been embarrassed at the sound, but right now you really couldn't care less, "No, I want to remember this."

Gesturing at the air around the two of you, you chuckle to yourself. Donghyuck seems to get it though: The streets are silent and empty, street lights and stars shining alongside. They're both starting to fade out though, in the rosy glow that starts to flood the sky. It's more peaceful than anything you've experienced in the last weeks, what with schoolwork and working at the local dinner.

Admittedly there is no one you would want to spend this moment with, more than the boy that holds your hand right now. Both of you have yet to speak your feelings, but for now you settle with this: Quiet understanding. It's easy, considering that Donghyuck has always been the one to understand you without the need for words. You could worry about it tomorrow.

Right now, you just want to live.

"I don't think I could forget it, if I wanted to." Donghyuck finally says, his gentle smile directed at the few tree crowns above you, "It's too special."

Again, you can't hold back a smile and you allow yourself to fall against his side and let your shoulders brush, as you walk down the street. You have ditched the sidewalk a while ago. After all, no one drives around a tiny town like this, at the crack of dawn. Now, you walk in the middle of the street, surrounded by the calmness of night.

You find you don't want it to end. Silently, you plead with the sun to take its time today.

All too soon though, a different end faces you: Your front door. The lights are out, naturally, your parents probably went to bed hours ago. Donghyuck stops next to you, with a sigh, as if he, too, had hoped you'd get more time.

"We should do this again." he says. The same thing he always says, after walking you home late at night.

"You bet we will." The same thing you'd always answer.

Despite following the sort of routine you've established together, something about tonight is different. You couldn't explain it, if someone asked you, but there is a tingling in your fingertips and a rush in the air that sobers you with a start. Maybe though, it's just about the way Donghyuck is standing a little closer than usual. Or the feeling of his hand that slides against your waist, so careful, he might be scared of doing something wrong.

"I want to make this night even more memorable." your heart beats fast. His voice is so shaky and it's the cutest thing you've ever heard. You want to squeal, when you see him gnawing his bottom lip and fidget with his free hand, as if not knowing what he is supposed to do with it, "May I?"

"Go off."

He laughs and you blush with your blunt reply. God, he managed to break you down into the most embarrassing mess, with just his boyish, curious eyes. However, hearing those endearing hiccups as a reaction, makes it worth it.

"You're so cute." he says, speaking your mind.

He pulls you close then, your hands on his chest and his on your waist. Unable to bite back your smile anymore, you beam up at him. His expression softens and under your palms you feel his breath stutter.

Donghyuck gulps and whispers: "God, I'm so into you."

Even if you would have been able to gather the courage to reply, you don't get a chance to. His lips meet yours and you have half a mind to close your eyes and dive right in. Donghyuck kisses you, like he had wanted to for way too long. You move with him, heart hammering against his and wrap your arms around his neck. Steady hands support your body, even as your head starts to spin with how much you adore this boy. How this could only be a dream, yet when you breathe, there is his scent. Something your mind could never come up with.

The sun doesn't wait for the two of you, but you don't mind anyways. You kiss, until the stars fade into pink, pale yellow and finally a soft baby blue. You kiss until the street lamps flicker out. You kiss until the town awakens.

Yet, something inside of the both of you lingers in that night. Your night.

When he pulls away, Donghyuck looks like he wants nothing more than to dive right back in, "Now that's something to remember."

"Sure beats Mark with boxers on his head."

"Thank you for ruining this amazing moment with a picture that will forever scar my mind." Donghyuck says, lips pursed.

You place another peck on his lips, "any time."

"How can you expect me to let you go now?" Donghyuck whines, burying his face in your neck, "You smell so good and you're so soft. I don't wanna leave."

"Don't, then."

He whines again, "Your parents will kill me, if I keep you out here any longer."

You dig your hand into his hair and scratch his scalp as you hold him as close as you can, "Guess we'll just have to go on a date as soon as we can."

You're half scared he'll say no, but when he pulls awaz and grins so wide at you, his gums show, you know that that was a silly worry, "In my opinion, that sounds like the best idea you've had all week. No, all year."

"What about ice cream at the festival tomorrow?"

"That's a close second. Wow, look at you, it's a string of good ideas."

You shrug, "Guess I'm just that brilliant."

He looks at you with a soft smile and strokes your cheek with a thumb, "Yes you are." A gentle kiss is placed on your forehead and then, Donghyuck finally pulls away, "Good night, baby."

You blush at the nickname, but Donghyuck doesn't comment on it. Your hands stay linked as long as they can, until Donghyuck is too far away, breaking the contact. It takes everything in you, not to run after him, as he backs away backwards, trying to keep his eyes on you for as long as he can.

At some point you walk inside. What you don't see, is the boy that is in love, walking down the street with the biggest smile on his face. He dances with the happiness, cheers and imagines the next time he gets to hold and kiss you again.

[s4myj0]

Welcome to my blog! My name is Joy and this post is intended for you to easily navigate through my blog! I write short imagines and sometimes some longer fics! I answer all asks and play a lot of tag games so this post will help you to get to know me and to find stuff to read! Enjoy!

↳ About Me

Joy

19 / sept. 5

Filipina

Dancer

Ult: Na Jaemin

Tag: about me

↳ Blog info:

This is my side blog, where I mainly write about NCT!

I do take requests but I apologize if I take way too long to write them since I tend to procrastinate a lot^^"

I am pretty much open with every plot, although there are some I feel uncomfortable with. But just ask away! I will see if I am going to write it!

I do not write smut and also not member x member.

The reader is always genderneutral unless stated otherwise!

Feel free to tag me, send feedback, asks, or chat with me! I would love to become mutuals! (Beware tho I am very awkward until the ice breaks. Then I'm just a crazy and fun person hehe)

Please do not copy and paste my works. Being inspired by them is okay!

↳ Masterlist

↳ Works in progress

↳ Tags

#joy talk -> basically every post that is not an imagine

#tagged -> all tag games I participated in

↳ Main/side blog

@s4myj0-main — my main blog where I reblog important information, memes, etc.

@saemiya-joy — my other side blog where I reblog stories that I personally liked a lot or want to read some other day!

[nanasarea]

could i pls request fluff 14 with jaemin please~~

Jaemin + “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

Jaemin was the mom of the Dreamies, you were aware, but you weren’t aware that you would become a co-parent. He did the cooking, he did the cleaning, he did keep the nana real sweet for your eating (sorry) , so when he came whining to you, you gladly helped. Not that you had a choice, you just can’t say no to his smile.

“y/n, do you think I can fit my head into this basketball hoop?” Chenle asked, excitingly showing you his new toy. “Chenle, you have such a big head, and yet you have nothing in it, what the hell?” Renjun commented, not even looking up from his phone. “You know what, let’s not find out.” You said, taking the toy away from him and setting it down. 

“y/n, what’s 46x28?” Jisung asked, looking up from his notebook. “Why are you asking me?” you asked “I thought parents were suppose to help their kids with their homework.” He answered, confused at your question, but before you could reply, you were startled by Haechan running at you and then hiding behind your back, his laughter filling the room. 

“Lee Donghyuck, get back here!” You hear Jeno scream “Never!” Haechan yelled back before running away again. 

You looked at Jaemin, who was just looking at all of this go down. “You deal with this everyday?” You ask, his immediate response being fake crying and hugging you. “Aww, babe, come on, let me help you with the tteokbokki.” You suggested.

After Renjun almost killing Chenle and Jisung, Jeno crying because he misses his cats and Haechan almost setting the room on fire, you and Jaemin finally finished the food. He put it on a plate and turned around to see the chaos that was NCT Dream. He kinda just stood there until you screamed “Kids! Food!”.

You all sat down at the table and began eating, but it wasn’t quiet, no. Renjun was bickering with Jisung about alien life, Jeno was asking Chenle to calm down and Haechan was calling Mark and telling him that he misses him. The weird part? This was all normal to you at this point. 

After eating, they all fell asleep on the couch, all stacked up on one another, leaving you and Jaemin to do the dishes, again. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

“Maybe because then they’re actually quiet for once.” Jaemin whines. “Come on, we’re almost done, and besides, if all of them are asleep here now, then maybe the parents can have some fun in your room, how’s that sound?” You teased, making Jaemin’s hands move faster to wash the one remaining plate before grabbing your hand and dragging you to the bedroom.

A/N: yes this was basically Dream’s new video where Jaemin was a tired mom. Hope you enjoy! :)

[nanasarea]

I did, sir I Na Jaemin

Prompt: When Jung Jaehyun sees his little sister marked up, he gets overprotective

Genre: fluff

Pairing: reader x Jaemin

a/n: yes this is inspired by the “who messed with my daughter?” “I did, sir” twt meme w 2jae.....but like since everyone is doing angst, I wanted to do a more fluffy version, y’know haha also what is proofreading

Sneaking around with Jaemin became almost like a habit. You knew your brother was extremely overprotective. He would always say that you can go on your first date after you’re married. He was joking, maybe, at least you thought he was joking. 

“Shhh, if Jaehyun catches u-” “He won’t, he’s not gonna know.” Jaemin reassured as he started kissing you again. Almost no one believed the lie that you were studying together, but it meant no additional questions from your brother. It did start like that, in your defense. He suggested being study buddies, but instead of doing homework, Jaemin was planning on doing you.

He started kissing down your neck and next thing you knew, you had a huge hickey on your neck, causing you to slap his shoulder when you finally saw your reflection in the mirror. “Now he’ll know!” You yelled at him, but all he did was smirk. “This isn’t funny, what if he ends up beating you to death?” You asked, to which he only replied “Worth it.” 

You came home when Jaehyun wasn’t so you tried your best to cover it up with makeup. Thankfully, no one noticed when you had dinner, but since you had to remove the makeup before bed, it meant you were going to makeup with the hickey fully visible, which when Jaehyun saw it. 

You usually woke up before him so your plan was to get to the bathroom before him and apply the makeup, but you overslept and you were still half-asleep when you walked to the bathroom. Right before you were going to open the door, you saw Jaehyun in the corner of your eyes. You were confused as to why he had that expression on his face before you realized. 

He, thankfully, didn’t bring it up at breakfast, but once you got to school, he stopped in front of your locker. “Who messed with my sister?” he asked, which is when Jaemin walked towards you and wrapped his hand around your shoulder “I did, sir.” He said, calmly as Jaehyun tried his hardest not to kill Jaemin on the spot.

Your brother chuckled angrily before he grabbed his shirt and pushed up against the locker. “If you hurt her, I will make it my cause that you never know a moment of happiness ever again, got it, kid?” Jaehyun asked as Jaemin gulped before nodding. He let go and looked at you, saying a quick “I’ll pick you up after school” before leaving. 

“Told ya.” You told Jaemin, but he only chuckled. “At least I can kiss you in public now.” He smiled. 

a/n: I’m in my Jaemin feels 🙃

[hcuyk]

15 | epilogue

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : crazy how this series managed to end on my birthday,, i can't think of a better way to end this tbh, so i guess this is my birthday present to everyone <3

this smau has been very cliché, but i'm not mad at it considering it is my first smau

it was a short journey with all the quick updates given and how fast paced this series was, but i do hope it was worth it!! i wanted to make the epilogue about how prom went with their friends, but i figured sweet moments between the main pairing would suit this story better, so overall it's an open ended ending

thank you for all the support intersection has been given, and i am currently focusing on a new nct dream smau!! it would probably have longer updates compared to this and a more in depth storyline, so if anyone's interested, do send me an ask <3 if you are interested in the synopsis, check my nct dream masterlist ;)

i'm so sorry for making jaemin's last words in this series 'arf arf' idk what went on in my mind

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a @wonnieluvs @cutiiex1994 @thejungjaehyun @jaemcupcake @jaeminielovebot @markistheloveofmylife @lcvekdy @lokideadontheinside @99swinwin @flwrtbz @cookydream @nctflix @luvlyjaemin @rinrinslovebot @sunshine-skz @woniecstasy @shnchintya @ryujinnz @parkmejeon004 @13isacoolnumber @ikyk-leeknow @nilesig @t1huy @jeon-jungkook-is-actually-god @nycol-ie

UNABLE TO TAG : @euphorin @renjunvibes

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[hcuyk]

14 | game day

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : I'M SCREAMING HI second to last chapter how's everyone feeling 😁

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a @wonnieluvs @cutiiex1994 @thejungjaehyun @jaemcupcake @jaeminielovebot @markistheloveofmylife @lcvekdy @lokideadontheinside @99swinwin @flwrtbz @cookydream @nctflix @luvlyjaemin @rinrinslovebot @sunshine-skz @woniecstasy @shnchintya @ryujinnz @parkmejeon004 @13isacoolnumber @ikyk-leeknow @nilesig @t1huy @jeon-jungkook-is-actually-god @nycol-ie // want to join the taglist? fill out the form or send me an ask/dm !!

UNABLE TO TAG : @euphorin @renjunvibes

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[hcuyk]

13 | listen to us

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : everyone say ty jungeun and jinsoul,, also posting this earlier because i'm tired

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a @wonnieluvs @cutiiex1994 @thejungjaehyun @jaemcupcake @jaeminielovebot @markistheloveofmylife @lcvekdy @lokideadontheinside @99swinwin @flwrtbz @cookydream @nctflix @luvlyjaemin @rinrinslovebot @sunshine-skz @woniecstasy @shnchintya @ryujinnz @parkmejeon004 @13isacoolnumber @ikyk-leeknow @nilesig @t1huy @jeon-jungkook-is-actually-god // want to join the taglist? fill out the form or send me an ask/dm !!

UNABLE TO TAG : @euphorin @renjunvibes

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[hcuyk]

12 | i'm sorry

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : i'm sorry for how much i've written, this chapter was kind of a mess :/ also jaemin being up in the middle of the night while he's an early sleeper :(

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a @wonnieluvs @cutiiex1994 @thejungjaehyun @jaemcupcake @jaeminielovebot @markistheloveofmylife @lcvekdy @lokideadontheinside @99swinwin @flwrtbz @cookydream @nctflix @luvlyjaemin @rinrinslovebot @sunshine-skz @woniecstasy @shnchintya @ryujinnz @parkmejeon004 @13isacoolnumber @ikyk-leeknow @nilesig // want to join the taglist? fill out the form or send me an ask/dm !!

UNABLE TO TAG : @euphorin @renjunvibes

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[hcuyk]

01 | so...prom?

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : i laugh whenever i read renjun's tweet everyone i'm so sorry ALSO if you spot any typos in this series, they're most likely intentional :]

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a // want to join the taglist? fill out the form or send me an ask/dm !!

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[hcuyk]

08 | late replies

INTERSECTION : y/n catches the football quarterback practicing for a promposal in the woods and offers to help him out

PAIRING : footballplayer!jaemin x genderneutral!reader

A/N : everyone's honestly embarrassing in this story i am so so sorry like stfu with the yeahs

also for some reason tags aren't working so reblogs are greatly appreciated :(

TAGLIST : @kimaya2209 @remit0wn @marklexleaf @wooyoung-a @wonnieluvs @cutiiex1994 @thejungjaehyun @jaemcupcake @jaeminielovebot @markistheloveofmylife @lcvekdy @lokideadontheinside @99swinwin @flwrtbz @cookydream @nctflix @luvlyjaemin // want to join the taglist? fill out the form or send me an ask/dm !!

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