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lala1267 · 1 year

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Chocolate and Vanilla (Part 3)

Summary: Claudia's revenge (black reader)

Warnings: racism, slurs, fighting, Claudia basically going insane, reader is belittled, mentions of murder/death, some sexual things (only goes as far as jerking off, its not a smut)

Not proof read btw.

I woke up in a lavish bed, it felt like I was in the clouds, it was cosy and warm. I stopped to realise that this was not my bed, it wasn't even my room, where was I? I observed the luxurious room, red carpet, princess style bed, royal vanity, and even a couch and television. I could never afford this even with my life savings, I had spent my childhood in the poor area of Jamaica and the shacks of memphis. I was working two part time jobs and was going to school just to feed me and my drunk mother who I assumed was now behind steel bars. This wasn't my room. This wasn't my house. I attempted to get up and out of the bed but I could barely move, my body was aching all over from the beating I had suffered last night from my mother. I decided to stay in the bed until I has gained strength to get out. The 'strength' that I was expecting never came. I started to worry,I had no idea where I was or who else was in this house. Heavy footsteps sounded in the hallway towards the bedroom door. They grew louder each step until the golden door know twisted as a tall, dark-haired, handsome man walked in. It was Elvis. When you saw him you were confused as to why he brought you here but a sense of comfort raised as you looked into his baby blue eyes. He sat on the edge of the royal, he lifted his hand to move some hair out of my face. I had to know where I was and why I was here, "Elvis where am I, where is my mamma?"

Elvis looked at my with a apologetic look, "oh dear, let's not talk about your mother, let's just say that she is getting what she deserves"

"Of this is about her hurting me she didn't mean it I promise, please can I see her"

"No, she is a dangerous woman. Anyway how was your sleep?"

"Good, until I woke up and found out that I was in a random castle" Elvis giggled before responding.

"Honey, it's not a castle, it's my house"

I was in shock when he said that, the boy that grew up in the poorest area of Memphis, yeah no way I was believing that.

"Don't lie Elvis, this ain't your house, not the boy that grew up in the shacks house."

Elvis looked confused

"What do you mean, it is my house"

"Oh no it ain't, you probably work at the diner like me."

Elvis slowly realise that I didn't know who he was on the TV.

"Honey, I'm a famous singer, everyone knows me, that why I can buy this house and many more if I wanted to"

"But I ain't never heard of ya"

"Oh really, well look at this then"

He got up and walked over the TV, he fiddled with the buttons before a clip of him singing and dancing like a mad man on a stage in front of thousands of people appeared. My jaw dropped, I was in shock buy I was also proud of how far he came and made a name for himself.

"Elvis I never knew you could sing and dance, I'm so proud of you" Elvis let out an awkward giggle before he replied.

"How have you never heard of me, even people from other countries know who I am"

"Well I could never afford a TV and I still can't, I'm not really into newspapers either."

His face dimmed.

" I will get a hundred TV's just for you my dear" I giggled before looking down at my body, I was wearing a silk night gown that must have costed a fortune.

"Elvis, I can't pay you back for this night gown, I can't even afford a dress that made from table clothes ,never mind a SILK night gown!"

"Honey, you don't have to pay for anything, I just wanna look after you"

I nervously smiled before he picked me up bridal style and took me to a luxurious bathroom, it had the biggest bathtub I had ever seen. He sat me on the edge of the bathtub.

"Elvis what are you doing" I said as I tilted my head and gave him puppy eyes.

"Imma give ya a nice warm bath, now lift ya arms up honey."

I hesitated but complied. He took my silk dress of and tosse it on the marble floor. I was now naked in front of a man that was 7 years older than me. I felt uncomfortable but I knew he was just trying to help me after what happened last night with my mother. He quickly looked at my bare breasts thinking that I wouldn't notice. I quickly crossed my arms other them, Elvis now knew that I had caught him peeking, he went a light shade of red.

"Get in the bath honey" the bath was already filled with bubbles and smelt like cotton candy. I didn't hesitate to step in. My body and into the world of bubbles and soap. I dipped my long curls in the water to then fully submerge my head under the water. I lifted my top half of my body out of the water, breath wet and bubbly right in front of Elvis. My head was soaked since I had dunked myself under the water, I giggled at my sillyness. Elvis giggled with me. "What did ya do that for honey"

"I've just never been in a bathtub this big in my life"

Elvis admired my bare body, he looked my up and down.

I didn't notice, but even if I did I wouldn't really care since I didn't have a dirty mind.

" you get yourself washed up and I will be in the room" he said before he got up and handed me a loofah and a soap bar. I nodded as I watched him leave the room, the door was halfway open. Elvis wasn't a perv but he was a smart man, he knew what he was doing. A large mirror faced the halfway opened door that had a perfect view of me. The bed was opposite the mirror but pushed aside to make way for the door. Elvis sat in the bed and stared me down through the mirror. I had no idea of this. I stood up, my naked body all wet and bubbly, I took the loofah and started to scrub my body gently, when I reached my breasts I heard muffled moans coming from the room that Elvis was in. I ignored it at first when I heard the same moans again as I reached my lower body,I washed and scrubed around my vagina making sure it was clean. I got worried, mabye Elvis hurt himself, that was probably why he was making these sounds. I rushed to get out of the bath, I wrapped a towel around my still soaking body, it barely covered my ass. I followed the sound of the moans, only to be met with Elvis in the bed, hand moving up and down under the sheets. I was so confused. "Elvis are you hurt, why are you making those sounds , and what are you doing" I said. Elvis quickly whipped his head to turn to me, his face turned a dark shade of red before another voice followed mine.

"Yeah Elvis, what the fuck are you doing!" Claudia yelled with her fists turning white from how tight she was clenching it. Elvis turned to Claudia, he instantly got up and out of the bed, pants unbuttoned. "Sweety I can explain!"

"There is no need to explain, I know exactly what you were doing and who you were looking at in the process!"

Elvis turned to me who was still confused as fuck. Elvis let out a relieved sigh as he realised that I didn't have a clue what he was doing under those sheets. He whipped his head straight back to Claudia as she screamed, "I expect a new designer dress by today if you want me to forgive you!"

You could tell she was just using him for his money. Claudia gave you a cold death stare before storming off downstairs. I was just in the middle of all of this and I didn't know what was going on. I tapped Elvis on the shoulder before speaking, "Elvis why is she so mad, did I do something?" I said with my poor puppy eyes the were tearing up from being overwhelmed. Evis took me into a deep hug before letting go and saying, "It's not your fault, I've just that me and Claudia have arguments sometimes" I nodded in agreement before Elvis escorted me to the closet. He opened the grand closet to reveal the most perfect dresses I could have ever dreamed of. My jaw was on the floor. Elvis giggled at my reaction. He stepped forward, he was now right behind me, I could feel his unbuttoned pants on my ass. He leaned over my back and pointed to the dresses before saying "pick anything my dear" I turned around to gaze intensely into his eyes, my breasts were touching his chest. "Elvis, why ate you doing all of this for me" he looked confused before answering, "Well I care about you and I always have, even though we never really talked, I still care about you, I know what you've been through, I heard everything those nights where your mother would hurt you, I knew." I had to take a moment to process his words. I just nodded and turned back around to pick I dress. I bent over to reach a dress, my ass pushed against his cock that was now getting hard. I didn't know this of course. I stood straight again and lifted a pretty dress in the air to show Elvis. It was pastel yellow with little pink flowered on, I had also picked up a pair of white thigh high dolly socks. I stepped way from elvis before walking past him to the bathroom to try the cloths on. I walked out of the bathroom and watched Elvis practically drule over me. The yellow dress hugged my premature hourglass figure, the socks squeezed my slightly chubby thighs, my hips where wide and my ass was perfect, my breasts were small but not to small. Due to my age my body still looked a bit child-like and I still haven't lost some of the baby chub on my tights. I wasn't chubby but I wasn't entirely skinny like all of the other white girls my age. I stood un the bathroom doorway running towards Elvis and jumping in his arms. I squealed, and giggled happily before thanking him, "oh thankyou Elvis, I've never worn a dress before, I love it!" Elvis looked into my eyes before responding, "Anything for you honey" he smiled before placing a kiss on my forhead, it took me by surprise but I can't say that I didn't like it. I jumped out of his arms, giving him doe eyes before asking, "Elvis I'm hungry, do you have any food in this house?" Elvis replied, "Yeah of course I do honey, I will get Claudia to make you some nuttella waffles" I thanked him before happily skipping downstairs whilst my long, messy, curly hair bounced on my back. Elvis looked at me with a shimmer in his eyes.

I wasn't to fond of Claudia due to her actions to me recently. But u just sucked it up before I was about to walk into the large kitchen when I saw two women. Of course the blonde, two faced one was Claudia but another block haired woman sat next to her on the dining table. She had dark eyes that looked like a void, pale skin, and she looked intimidating, but she was also drop dead gorgeous, her long back has perfectly moulded around her face, her dress a pale pink and her face like a model. I secretly listened to their conversation, tears fell down my red cheeks as I heard the words that were coming out of there mouths.

"Yeah and he had the audacity to bring home a negro! He said it was because he wanted to 'help her' but then I walked I on him jacking off to the black bitch!

"Oh my goodness really! If I were you I would do something about her, get rid of the bitch, for good"

"I know but how would I get rid of her?"

"Drive her out and do the job for her, nock her out and dump her in the middle of no where"

"Good idea, I might drive her out tomorrow and then she will be gone for good, my man will never see the bitch again."

"Haha, her hair is so raggedy aswell, she needs to straighten it."

They both laughed and where unaware that I has heard their whole conversation. My breath quickened and tears ran down my face, I ran into the back garden, I went to the horses hoping to distract myself. The horses brought back memories from when I was a kid, I used to sneak out of my house with Lana to go to the fields and ride the horses, we had been chased by the crazy farmer everytime he saw us on his field, but that didn't stop us. When I stroked Elvis's horses, I couldn't help but step into the field that they were in. I carefully mounted the tallest one with ease since I had done it many times before. I had already gotten my socks muddy since i didn't have any shoes on, i just simply didn't care. I wasn't anywhere near 'ladylike' I was the complete opposite, I was always playing with dirty animals, swimming in random lakes, clothes always dirty from playing to much, I didn't wear any make up, my big curly hair always looked like an elegant lion's mane , I ran around bare foot, I ate a lot, I was athletic, I was tall, and I lived life freely. After I mounted the horse, I tapped it with the side of my foot. The horse ran around the large field at full speed, and I had completely forgotten about what Claudia and her friend were talking about. I was having a blast, the wind pushed my long curls back, the dress was now dirty and had horse hairs all over, and my socks were muddy. As I slowed the horse down, I saw Elvis standing behind the field gate with a smile across his face. I rode the horse towards him before dismounting the horse. I was quick to plead to him, "Elvis I'm so sorry that I ruined my clothes and I should have asked to go on the horse, I'm sorry!" Elvis giggled, "Honey it's alright, I'm really impressed with you"

"What do you mean"

"I ain't never seen a girl as courageous as you, and I definitely ain't seen a girl that knows how to ride a horse like you do, I dont even think I can go that fast"

"Oh thankyou, I wasn't brought up to be a lady haha" I said while itching the back of my head awkwardly. Elvis had an idea, "hey let's go on my motorbike I wanna drive you around" I looked confused before replying, "I know how to ride a motorbike Elvis, I'm not that dumb"

"Oh, well I guess I will give you your own to ride" I jumped up and clapped excitedly.

I sat on the leaver seat of the motor bike, without thinking I sped of without a helmet, I turned around to see Elvis following me with a worried look on his face, he sped up his motorbike to be right next to mine before saying, "Hey ya can't ride without a helmet, you might hurt yourself!"

"Don't be silly Elvis, I don't give a damn about no health and safety!" I said while giggling.

"Ok then honey!"

I wanted to show of to Elvis, I shouted over to him, "Hey Elvis watch this!" Elvis looked confused. I slowly stood up on the motorbike whilst it was going full speed on the private road, when I was fully standing with my bare feet on the leather seat, I began doing cute dance moves to show of even more. I turned to look at Elvis who was in shock, he shouted over to me, "Be careful honey, shit!" I laughed at how worried he was before sitting myself back down. When we got back to Graceland it was the evening and the horses were in their stables. Me and Elvis arrived, I parked the motorbike and turned it off as elvis did the same. Elvis said to me, "Don't ever scare me like that when you stood up on the damn thing" he said whilst giggling. I responded, "Death is scared of me, not the other way round, and I live how I wanna live, I don't care about health and safety" I said whilstI giggled with Elvis. We headed inside Graceland. I went to the bedroom that I now claimed as mine, I quickly stripped of my dirty clothes leaving them on the red carpet. I jumped in the bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning I had woken up and Elvis was nowhere to be seen, I had just assumed that he was probably out buying Claudia all of her needs as usual. I was still in nightgown when Claudia suddenly stood in front of me with a wide grin on her face.

"Heyyyy Aria, I want you to come with me on a road trip, just me, you, and Carmella, my best friend." I didn't even have time to respond before she nudged me back into my room, urging me to get dressed. I had picked out some short shorts and a crop top. I put it on and I lastly put on my old cheap shoes. But then fear rushed through my body when I remembered what Claudia and her friend Carmella were talking about yesterday. My only thought was to call Lana. I ran to the telephone whilst I forcefully dialled Lana's number, she didn't pick up, it was sent straight to voice mail. I left a voice mail, "Lana please help me, its a long story but Elvis's girlfriend is gonna kill me, she is planing to take me out on a 'road trip' her freind is coming too, they will kill me I'm telling ya, whenever you get this call Elvis presley, his number is **************, please just hurry I don't have time!" I put the telephone down after I sent the voice mail. I had to compose myself, I wiped my tears and headed downstairs where I was met with Clauidia and Carmella. They both giggled when they saw me in my poor clothes. I couldn't say no to them because they would have just killed me in the house instead of on the 'road trip'.

We where almost there, my heart was pumping like the speed of light, a teardrop fell down my cheek wich Carmella seemed to notice, they both giggled at my powerless self. Suddenly the car came to a stop. The girls both got out before opening the door and dragging me out, pushing me onto the sandy ground, I observed my surroundings. It looked like I was in a dessert but I could still see the large buildings in the distance. I was crying and screaming, the girls just pulled me up off the ground and began to beat me black and blue. I had just accepted that this was the moment that I was going to die, they will either leave me here to die or the will beat me to death. My vision was going blurry, the world around me was spinning, and I could just hear the girls that were towering over my almost lifeless body, they were yelling a bunch of slurs at me, pulling my hair, kicking me, cat fighting. I didn't even realise the blue lights that flashed behind the two girls. The girls suddenly stopped attacking me when a lot of tall men in a blue uniform cuffed them and shoved them in the back of the cars. I could barely make out what was happening, I felt people lift me and put me into a hospital van, the last two faces I saw that day were Lana's and Elvis's infuriated faces.

I woke up in an all white room and I could hear beeping noses all around, I was in so much pain and agony. I got the strength to open my eyes and look at my body, I was in a hospital dress that the patients usually wore, I had a cast on my leg and arm, there was a rather large machine next to me that was taking some blood out of the vein in my arm. I looked up and around the room to see Lana and Elvis looking down at me with tears in their eyes. I instantly began to cry, I quietly said Lana's name, she heard it and leaned over to me to hug me tight, she pulled away and placed a kiss on my swollen cheek whilst pushing my curls away from my face. She began to frantically apologise, "Oh Aria, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, I hadn't been with you recently since I had gotten a new job, I'm so sorry, this should have never have happened, just wait till I get my hands on those bitches!" She sobbed as her teardrops fell onto my collar bone. I nodded at her when I realised Elvis was there to, he hugged me tight and did his own little speech as well.

It would be a long time for me to fully heal, but what would happen after is unknown.

To be continued...

#elvis presley #elvis the pelvis #young elvis #fanfic #lana del rey #1960s #decade: 1950s #black reader #mixed girls

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thesobsister · 2 months

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youtube

Elton John, "Dirty Little Girl"

I was watching the televised Gershwin Prize (formally, The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song) presentation ceremony from Constitution Hall recently, in which Sir Elton John and Bernie Taupin's songwriting were honored.

A number of luminaries performed, including last year's honoree, Joni Mitchell, along with Brandi Carlisle and, oddly enough, Metallica. Many encomia regarding Elton's music and Bernie's words were offered along with inspiring stories of how their songs propelled the performers along the path to their own creative self-realization.

Which is all well and good, but, you know, there's some stanky-ass music in the ElBer catalogue. And not good stanky-ass. I don't just mean bad songs, but songs that are straight-up offensive.

"Island Girl" is, perhaps, the most obvious example, with Elton, one of the whitest men ever to reach his rarefied levels of fame in the music industry, singing in a mock patois about a Jamaican man trying to convince a streetwalker to go back to JA.

But, turning to, perhaps, the archetypal Elton John album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, we find all sorts of unpleasantness. For example, another song about a sex worker ("Sweet Painted Lady") and a song ("All the Girls Love Alice") about a murdered teenage lesbian that treats the tragic subject respectfully, right? Well, only if one considers "It's like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part" and "And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo?" to be respectful or sensitive.

But the winner, from the same side of the GYBR LP as "Sweet…" and "Alice," has to be "Dirty Little Girl. Over a dirty Stones-ian groove, Elton sings this lovely chorus:

I'm gonna tell the world you're a dirty little girl Someone grab that bitch by the ears Rub her down, scrub her back, and turn her inside out 'Cause I bet hasn't had a bath in a year.

Surprisingly, or not at all, no-one covered this gem as part of the Gershwin Prize tribute.

There's a great single album buried in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road's two discs, once one prunes the filler ("Jamaica Jerk-Off"—yet another chance for Elton to explore his Black Jamaican side) and the clunky ("Candle in the Wind," a song that really didn't need to be written about either Marilyn Monroe or Lady Diana Spencer) tunes.

As we ask ourselves precisely wtf was wrong with Bernie Taupin, here's a palate cleanser:

youtube

#elton john #bernie taupin #gershwin prize #misogyny #double album #song lyrics #Youtube

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luhgoatboy666 · 5 months

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KISHIBE x Jamaican Goku

Its a frigid winter night, and a smelly, bloody one as well for Kishibe Yoshida, as he just finished killing the 5x reborn Aids Devil. “Thank god this alcohol strong asf… I wouldn’t have been able to survive that fight if this Henny didn’t keep my guts warm” Kishibe sighed as he headed for his brand new purple Bugatti, sipping on his canteen full of the strongest Hennessy in Japan. A faint brrd brrd hums from inside the Bugatti as Kishibe enters. “Another devil spotted… in… Jamaica!?!?” Kishibe quizically reads through the job description, putting his canteen in the cup holder of his brand new purple Bugatti. “It’s a calm devil… and could either be imprisoned or killed, as long as he arrives on Japanese soil by the 28th…” Kishibe thought briefly, before hastily ordering a plane ticket headed for Jamaica and speeding to the Japanese International Airport. “they’re giving me a week to deal with this devil? It can’t possibly be that tough, but to be safe I’ll handle it as soon as I can” He thought as he bid his final farewells to his beautiful brand new purple Bugatti for a week and headed into the airport for his flight to Jamaica

…

“This air… the devil, its nearby…” Kishibe thought as he gathered his bags and exited the airport. He sharply observes his surroundings as he calls for an Uber. “Shit… did I pack my-“ before Kishibe could even think to worry about his missing items, he’s in absolute awe and bewilderment (yet keeping his cold and unphased expression), as a purple Bugatti rolls up to him

“Ya called fa a bombolcatt Uber right” said the driver in a deep and rather commanding voice. His face shaded by his long, dark yet shiny dreadlocks, despite this, Kishibe could tell this man was exceedingly handsome. “Yeah… this is awfully nice for an Uber though…” gravely spoke Kishibe as he slid into the passenger seat of the fragrant car “whats your name?”

“Mi name Goku… but Sir would work too” Goku spoke in an even more gravely tone and chuckled. “Sir Goku..” Kishibe obediently repeated softly “I… Think that’s fitting… given how-“ Kishibe catches himself and faces the window away from Goku, trying to hide his blushing and returning to his rockier and nearly growling tone “nevermind that, take me to my hotel” Goku drops his accent as he speaks in an inhumanly low tone and impossibly rocky cadence with a smug tone “there’s a nicer way to ask that… you know” Kishibe’s eyes widen and his legs close together firmly as he speaks in a softened tone, completely unlike the gravel-tone he had spoken in earlier “s-sorry… Sir Goku… can you please drive me to my h-hotel”

“Good boy” purred Goku as he raised his hand to pat Kishibe. As Goku’s hand makes contact with Kishibe’s hair, Kishibe couldn’t help but slightly whimper “o-oh god… your hand feels so…*clears throat* ah! Get your hand off me man… I totally didn’t like that, just take me to my…” Kishibe shuts up as he glances at Goku’s eyes through his dreads. Then a little lower to Goku’s huge pecs and slim waist and abs pressing through Goku’s tight gym shirt… then lower to the strikingly huge bulge in his loose fitting jeans. “H-holy shit” Kishibe murmured in awe “I know you’re driving, b-but please… Sir Goku… can I jerk your b-‘bomboclatt’ chicken…?” Kishibe’s cat ears perked up and twitch as he slowly reaches into Goku’s pants with a- *car crashes n they both die womp womp kishibe shoulda stayed his submissive ass in Tokyo^

#csm kishibe #goku #yaoi bl #peak #goatedverse #jamaican

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fanfic-lover-girl · 9 months

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I wish I loved Korra and Hermione

I want to pause my negativity for a bit and be a bit more open about my feelings about Korra and Hermione. I know I rag on these 2 characters but part of me genuinely does want to like them. I really do because I see myself a lot in both of them. Which is why the handling of their characters frustrates me.

Like Hermione, studying and school was my main source of self-worth. I was the brightest girl in highschool. This is why when I went to college, I found it hard to cope with being around peers so much "better" than me. For a while, I felt worthless. Like Hermione, I am not very girly. It's only recently that I have begun wearing dresses to weddings and such. I don't like makeup and I find it hard to care much about my hair. Like Hermione, I found it hard to make friends in school and usually had a small circle.

Same points with Korra. I was very sheltered growing up. I was a good student in STEM but struggled in subjects like the humanities and hated them because of it (like Korra with airbending). I was naive about the world in many ways. I never had big crushes but it is disappointing to find yourself liking a guy only to find out he has a girlfriend or sees you like a sister. I could not relate to Aang but I could relate to Korra's louder personality and tougher nature. And I am black so there's the skin factor too.

Like both, I was kind of violent towards boys growing up, especially in primary school. I remember chasing boys with sticks and even hitting a classmate over the head with a book. I was an emotional kid for real. Thank God no one ever hit me back. And this is why I am against female violence against guys being treated as a joke in media.

I find Krum's interest in Hermione very inspiring. This famous senior likes her even though she's average. While Ron can be a jerk, mostly due to teenage boy immaturity, for the most part, Ron is very caring towards her. Sometimes I feel self-conscious because the only guys who have ever had interest in me have been random guys off the street in Jamaica. The friendly newspaper guy calling me 'princess'. A grown man with yellowing teeth who insisted on walking with me. A highschool dropout guy who also insisted on walking with me. In the US, another grown, sloppy black man trying to get to know me on the bus. Ugh. I wonder if any guy in my circle would ever find me desirable and Hermione is a nice representation of hope.

I just hate how Hermione and Korra's flaws are hardly acknowledged by the narrative. I don't like how they treat their love interests. I don't like how them being jerks to the people around them makes them badasses or girlbosses.

I wish we could have gotten an arc for Hermione where she discovered that she did not need to get top grades to prove herself. Because Hermione deserved better than 'oh you're smart, Neville is dumb so you're ok for a muggleborne' from Hagrid. Hermione should not have to be smart to be worthy of her magic. All Hagrid did in that scene was justify pureblood supremacy logic. I wish we had seen more of her relationship with her parents. It's sad how she obliviated her parents and it's treated as inconsequential dialogue. I wish she had more female friends. Hermione acts like a 'pick me' type and I dislike how JKR used her and Ginny to demonize other types of girls. Maybe she could have had an arc where she learns that there is more to being smart besides being booksmart. A lot of her brightness is really due to memorization. So many possibilities with a Hermione and Luna friendship. Just imagine!

As for Korra...sigh. I wish everything was not handed to her. I wish we could have seen more of her struggling with airbending and her spirituality. I know Bryke had issues with pacing due to how LOK was produced at Nick but still. I wish she was called out for her bad decisions and she took responsibility. Now that I think about it, it would have been so cool to see Korra have to use her wits instead of her fists against a spirit foe like Koh after she left the portals open (dying from wasted potential!). I wish she went on a real Avatar journey so that through her we could learn how the cultures outside the water tribe have changed. I wish Korra did not perpetuate the stereotype of the angry/obnoxious black woman. Korra had the potential to be a way more interesting avatar than Aang and have a healthier romantic relationship but Bryke blew it. The relationship drama with Asami and Mako was disgusting and I hate Bryke's torture porn fetish with Korra. They treated Ozai with more dignity than Korra! The worst Ozai got was a drooling scene while the Gaang cracked jokes while Korra literally thanked her enemy for her trauma!!! The injustice! Bryke really hates women!

I am just rambling but I realized there are almost no female characters that I resonate with that are like me in the media I know. I wish Korra and Hermione had better writers :(

#hermione granger #hermione granger critical #korra #avatar korra #korra critical #wasted potential #harry potter series #legend of korra #lok #anti bryke #anti jkr #female representation #hermione and korra deserved better writing #bryke hate women #jkr's fake feminism #ozai mention #why did bryke make all the watertribe avatars so terrible??

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gerogerigaogaigar · 11 months

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The Cure - Disintegration

Drawn out loving emotional splendor exudes from every pore of The Cure's undeniable magnum opus. Still gothic in its own way, but now with a sheen of glittery passion as Robert Smith write dramatic long love aong after dramatic longing love song. Nothing is done in brief, every song plays out its every melodic and harmonic idea for minutes before the lyrics even start. Lush, angelic, longing, desperation, love, sadness, bombastic, it blends into an all encompassing haze. Nine minute songs will go by in a rush and you will find your hour spent quicker than is reasonable. You will drown in this album.

Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d. city

A short film by Kendrick Lamar. Thats what the album cover says and that's most certainly what we get. An autobiographical concept album about Kendrick's life growing up in Compton. Kendrick Lamar takes us through his trials as a teen dealing with drugs and gang violence, his aspirations as an artist, the struggle to survive, and the knowledge that everything he does could easily be the last thing he ever did. Not only does Kendrick thread the needle really well when it comes to bringing all this together in a cohesive engaging way, but he also has a one of a kind voice. His rasp is iconic nowadays and his flow is so casual that it feels like he isnt even trying. But watch out, try to sing along and you'll realize that he actually has an incredible ear for the beat that allows him to play around it in ways that are very hard to mimic.

The Strokes - Is This It

Is This It is one of those overlooked turning points in musical history. It may seem like a perfectly normal alt rock album to the modern listener, but it was the first of its breed. The entire zeitgeist of 00's post punk revival starts here. Without Is This It there is no Killers, Franz Ferdinand, Silversun Pickups, Vines, Black Keys, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend, Interpol, Fratellis, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Hives, Shins, and about a million other bands who were very specifically copying the sound of this album. Now i do think the historical value of Is This It might be a little higher than the artistic value. Its a nice garagey album, lots of jangle and a couple of really catchy songs, but I think it was honestly topped by many of its imitators. This album is like Seinfeld, everyone copied it so well that it no longer scans as unique.

The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

I'm a dramatic bitch. This is a dramatic bitch album. There are not a lot of albums that I have finished and then immediately started over again. The first two Smiths albums are dramatic and delightful, but they are 100% sincere. The Queen Is Dead brings a bitter irony into the mix. Morrissey is practically mocking his fans. I Know It's Over, Never Had No One Ever, and There Is A Light That Never Goes Out are so melodramatic that they feel satirical. Meanwhile Cemetry Gates, Bigmouth Strikes Again, and Frankly, Mr. Shankly are just humorous takedowns of people that just annoy Morrissey. This is music for listening to by candlelight while you lay on your chaise longue and pretend to have the consumption. Top ten album material.

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

This is a good album, but its extremely bloated. It's often held up as Elton John's best work, and i would agree if you cut out most of the middle. In fact Jamaica Jerk-Off should instantly disqualify this album from being considered one of the best. Admittedly side one is actually some of Elton John's best work, starting with the eleven minute prog epic Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding and continuing with three of his best hits in a row. I think of you trimmed about fifteen minutes of fat off this bad boy until you had a solid 60 minute album it would be really improved

Janet Jackson - Control

Not gonna lie, they definitely put Janet's albums on here in reverse order. Obviously they are all deserving of a spot but i just think Rhythm Nation>The Velvet Rope>Control. Minor placement gripe aside, Control is Jackson's first masterpiece. She establishes the album's theme succinctly: control. Every song really is about a woman establishing some sort of dominance over her life, often men. It established a precedent for female pop and R&B artists to present more forward and dominant personalities in their music and in their piblic persona. The fusion of pop, R&B, and synths, while not actually a new idea, was a perfect blueprint for her sound.

Joni Mitchell - Court And Spark

Here we see the beginning of it all. The first album where Joni Mitchell would start experimenting with jazz. It's clear that her folksy rambling vocal style was already perfect for some jazzier numbers. Mitchell is just a natural artist and everything she does is golden. It has been hard to review her every time because I simply don't have the time or energy to dissect the poetry of her lyrics and how it all ties together. You just gotta listen. I think that if you want to get into Joni Mitchell this is the only logical starting point. It has the artistic depth of her late work while still having a few songs that you can actually hum.

Lou Reed - Transformer

Yet another punk rock progenitor. The fuzzy garage rock of his Velvet Underground days is now mixed with a deliberately Bowie-esque glam. The result is a series of New York City street fables about drug dealers, hookers, and queers. Its more stripped down, more real than Reed's previous work. It shows off NYC the way a Bakshi film would, lovingly with warts and all.

Fiona Apple - When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right

Yes that is the album title. Where Fiona Apple's debut is youthfully melodramatic the follow up is a more mature album. She is much more capable of being genuinely sad but also gleefully mean. And her voice is slightly huskier, fuller at times. Apple is clearly not entirely in a great place on When The Pawn, but she is really mining that bad place for everything its worth.

#500 album gauntlet #the cure #kendrick lamar #the strokes #the smiths #elton john #janet jackson #joni mitchell #lou reed #fiona apple #love that the when the pawn review wound up being shorter than the album title

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roman-han · 8 months

Text

"AS IF THE ONLY TOOL I OWNED FOR FINDING TRUTH WAS A KNIFE..."

FULL NAME: Roman Michael Han NICKNAME(S): N/A PREFERRED NAME(S): N/A BIRTH DATE: September 25th, 1982 AGE: 41 OCCUPATION: ATF supervisory special agent AFFILIATION: N/A TIME IN TV: < 1 year

GENDER: Cis Man PRONOUNS: He/Him/His NATIONALITY: Korean-American ETHNICITY: Korean and white NEIGHBORDHOOD: Downtown

BIRTH PLACE: Daegu, Cuba HOMETOWN: Daegu, Cuba SOCIAL CLASS: middle class

ABOUT

Born in Daegu, South Korea, as the oldest of two kids. They emigrated to the states when he was 13. Their fresh start didn't last long, with the entire family suffering a car accident that would be fatal for both their mother and father, with both kids somehow miraculously surviving. With no family in the states and their grandparents in SK having passed years prior, the two were taken into the state's custody and separated. Almost 3 decades later, and they still haven't been able to find their ways back to each other.

Like many in a shitty situation, Roman had a troubled youth as he lived in a boys home. But he shaped up at the possibility of getting the fuck out of there, and joined the army, resulting in a 15 year career with a majority of that being in special forces.

He thrived with the challenge and discipline of his work, creating an entire life around the army. But then, 8 years ago, he was pulled out of a training opp by a superior, and never returned. To this day, he's never told anyone why, and he plans on keeping it that way. He went off the grid for 2 years, not speaking to a soul he had known previously.

But 6 years ago he magically reappeared, calling an old team member looking for a job, which lead him to the ATF. He's now a supervisory special agent, and has been sent to Tonopah with a team. He's become known for his unorthodox methods, but his supervisors tend not to look too closely because they like his results.

HEADCANNONS

Roman hasn't had a home since they left Korea. They hadn't found a permanent residence before his parents were deported, the boys home obviously didn't count, and his time in the army was a series of different bunks and bases, even if he did get accommodation, he never was there enough to make it feel like home. Even now, with the ATF, where he has a fairly stable operating area, he doesn't have one, preferring short term rentals to putting down any roots.

He burnt his uniforms from the army in a trash can fire on the beach in Mexico, figuring it was the send off his army career deserved.

Every new city he goes to he makes sure to find three places: a good jerk chicken place (his only friend in the boys home had been from Jamaica and had gotten him hooked on the stuff), a wooded running trail, and a shitty laundromat (something about the background noise helps him work)

His personal life for the first 3 years after getting his job with the ATF was spent using the databases he had access to, to try and find his sister. He probably would have had his ass reamed if his superiors had found out he was not only looking women up but then tracking them down to see if he recognized his little sister in them. But he never did, and while he'd never truly give up, after 3 years he had exhausted all options, and began to accept he may never see her again.

READ HIS FULL BIO HERE

#tv.intros

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faewitchsherbs · 2 years

Text

𝕬𝖑𝖑𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖊

𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓/𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖐 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊(𝖘): Allspice, Pimento berry, Jamaica pepper 𝕭𝖎𝖓𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖆𝖑 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊(𝖘): Pimenta dioica 𝕱𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞: Mytraceae~ clove, bay rum, eucalyptus, myrtle, guava

𝕸𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖘: Used in a paste for tooth aches, arthritis & sore muscles, acne, and cold limbs. Also used in a tea for encouraging appetite and digestion, and as a tonic 𝕾𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖊𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘: Can cause nausea and vomiting in large amounts.

𝕸𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑/𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖕𝖍𝖞𝖘𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖘: Boosts will power Breaking bad habits & inertia Clearing energy blockages Courage Healing mixes Increasing energy & determination Luck Money Sex magic Spell booster Spell breaking 𝕯𝖊𝖎𝖙𝖞(𝖎𝖊𝖘): 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙(𝖘): Fire 𝕻𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖊𝖙(𝖘): Mars 𝖅𝖔𝖉𝖎𝖆𝖈(𝖘): 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗(𝖘): Masc 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖐𝖗𝖆(𝖘): 1st|root|red

𝕻𝖔𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖘? 𝕴𝖋 𝖓𝖔, 𝖋𝖑𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖘 & 𝖔𝖗 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖘: No. Has a robust, peppery, earth taste and smell. Used as a sub for cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓: Jerk recopies and English food, stews, sauces, pickling, and more.

𝕻𝖗𝖔𝖕𝖆𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓- 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖙: Tropical areas 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖙: 𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖙: 3ft apart to allow for full canopy spread 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘: 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖘𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖘/𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖘/𝖊𝖈𝖙: 𝕺𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖎𝖕𝖘: must have male and female trees for cross-pollination, only female trees set fruit. 𝕳𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖘𝖙- *INDANGERED GROW YOUR OWN* 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖘𝖙: trees fruit at 3 yrs of age 𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝖋𝖔𝖗: flowers appear in June, July, and August, once berries are full size but are unripe and green (because once they ripen they lose their aroma) 𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖘𝖙: the unripe yet full grown berries from females and leaves from males 𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖘𝖙: break off small branches bearing clumps of berries, being sure to leave as little wounds on the plant as possible. 𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖔 𝖉𝖗𝖞/𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖊: Dry in the sun or in an oven until they turn a dark reddish brown. Leaves can be plucked and pressed for oil.

#witchcraft #witch #witchy #herbalism #herbs #greenwitch #kitchenwitch #allspice

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kenclinger · 7 days

Text

Charles Runs Off

By Aunt Inez

It was a typical Tuesday morning at Nick's Diner, with the regulars sipping coffee and chatting over pancakes. But then, without warning, Charles Nelson Reilly, the beloved actor and game show regular, burst through the doors, looking quite green.

"I've had enough of Hollywood!" he declared, as he stumbled towards the counter. "I'm leaving it all behind and running off to Jamaica with...with..."

He glanced around the diner, his eyes landing on the group of lively fat ladies who always occupied the corner booth.

"...with the fabulous fat ladies of Nick's Diner!" he exclaimed, as he grabbed their hands and pulled them towards the door.

As they made their way to the airport, Charles couldn't shake off the lingering effects of last night's party. He stumbled and staggered, throwing up in the airport parking lot, but the fat ladies just laughed and cheered him on.

Finally, they boarded the plane to Jamaica, where they spent their days dancing on the beach, singing reggae songs, and feasting on jerk chicken.

Charles Nelson Reilly never looked back, and the fat ladies never let him forget the wildest adventure of their lives.

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revolutioninformationnewsblog · 21 days

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TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV https://www.merchant-business.com/tv-review-stephen-merchant-does-heavy-lifting-in-new-outlaws-series-tv-radio-showbiz-tv/?feed_id=7688&_unique_id=665c335b0d4ef TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of Stephen Merchant on the script was more than apparent – and most welcome. My private LOL count almost reached double figures. In fact, it was so long since I’d laughed at a TV show that I felt rather embarrassed to be chortling away. All this comes after the BBC said it would “Save Our Sitcoms”. It’s a laudable aim but to be honest I think the fight has been lost. We’re so restricted as to what we can and can’t laugh about that most comedies now simply aren’t funny. It’s no wonder we now have a channel devoted to the heyday of sitcoms – the 70s and 80s – it’s called Rewind TV. But this hasn’t stopped Stephen Merchant, his stature being what it is, who made jokes about the word “queer” and about Alison Hammond! I was delighted. And yes, I should get out more. Merchant’s character Greg relayed a complaint about noise coming from an adjoining room. He said: “It was so bad during This Morning, she told me, that she couldn’t hear Alison Hammond laughing!” As for the “queer” joke, actor Darren Boyd’s John did back away from it in the end, saying, “I’m not taking any chances”. It’s the thought that counts. And then there was a fine performance from Diane actress Jessica Gunning, she of Baby Reindeer fame – the Netflix dark comedy where she stalks a comedian. If it’s possible she’s even better in The Outlaws. She runs the community city farm with what she believes is a rod of iron – of course, she doesn’t have a clue. We look forward to the rest of the series. Hopefully all the jokes haven’t been used up – and won’t get censored before the next instalment. Newscaster Clive Myrie has been let loose on another foreign adventure before he takes up his exciting role as co-anchor of election night on the BBC. After that whistle-stop tour of Italy he has now taken himself off to Jamaica, where his family lived before the Windrush brought them to Britain. The series is called Clive Myrie’s Caribbean Adventure (BBC2, Sunday). Myrie, who also presents Mastermind, has a rather unusual manner. He can come across as a little distant, somewhat at odds with his apparently jolly, friendly exterior. It’s a curious thing. It was a fascinating visit though a crammed schedule as Clive met up with his sister Judith to explore the wild beauty of eastern Jamaica. To fire up his political bones, he talked with descendants of rebel mountain communities, the Maroons. He moved on to a high-altitude coffee farm, and did some impressive grinding. He was a natural. Incidentally, he doesn’t touch the stuff. Finally, he learned the secrets of making the famous Jamaican Jerk Pork, which was met with acclaim by local diners, before bedding down 100ft above the Caribbean Sea for a peaceful night’s sleep. So is it possible to actually feel nostalgic about politicians? This was how I felt when I saw Theresa May: The Accidental Prime Minister (ITV, Monday). The title almost suggested she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which, in some ways is true. Apart from not getting Brexit done, May is most remembered for her tears at the very end of her exit from power. Mostly it was a chance for her to be confessional, “I should’ve been less shy,” was one admission. Not sure about that. We rely on Downing Street to be populated by people who parade their egos proudly, otherwise Ian Hislop would have no material on a Friday night. FINALLY, Netflix had the show of the week, and another hit to celebrate. It’s Eric (Netflix), starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

This is a missing child mystery, but not as we’ve seen it done before. It’s Sesame Street meets every parent’s nightmare – with puppets and paedos (potentially) thrown in. There are big furry creatures that appear on the hit fictional show, Good Day Sunshine, on which Cumberbatch’s Vincent does a turn each morning. No spoilers about Eric, but this creative drama was already going in directions that Sherlock or Watson would have found far from elementary. Weave in some edgy 80s New York street life and some unorthodox police work and you have got a fascinating show. Clarke Peters is the apartment caretaker George. But Cumberbatch is the watch here, drawing on his Patrick Melrose character by descending into a drug-and-drink-induced parallel universe where anything can happen. I’m not writing off a cameo from either Big Bird, or Ernie & Bert. Source link TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV #REVIEW #Stephen #Merchant #heavy #lifting #Outlaws #series #Radio #Showbiz Source link Google News Source Link: https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1905383/TV-REVIEW-Stephen-Merchant-does-the-heavy-lifting-in-funny-new-Outlaws-series The post TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV appeared first on Merchant Business News. Buy, Sell, Get Informed, Negotiate and Be Happy! Global, Merchant - BLOGGER - #Global #Merchant

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productinternetnews · 21 days

Text

TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV https://www.merchant-business.com/tv-review-stephen-merchant-does-heavy-lifting-in-new-outlaws-series-tv-radio-showbiz-tv/?feed_id=7687&_unique_id=665c335a6aa8c TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of Stephen Merchant on the script was more than apparent – and most welcome. My private LOL count almost reached double figures. In fact, it was so long since I’d laughed at a TV show that I felt rather embarrassed to be chortling away. All this comes after the BBC said it would “Save Our Sitcoms”. It’s a laudable aim but to be honest I think the fight has been lost. We’re so restricted as to what we can and can’t laugh about that most comedies now simply aren’t funny. It’s no wonder we now have a channel devoted to the heyday of sitcoms – the 70s and 80s – it’s called Rewind TV. But this hasn’t stopped Stephen Merchant, his stature being what it is, who made jokes about the word “queer” and about Alison Hammond! I was delighted. And yes, I should get out more. Merchant’s character Greg relayed a complaint about noise coming from an adjoining room. He said: “It was so bad during This Morning, she told me, that she couldn’t hear Alison Hammond laughing!” As for the “queer” joke, actor Darren Boyd’s John did back away from it in the end, saying, “I’m not taking any chances”. It’s the thought that counts. And then there was a fine performance from Diane actress Jessica Gunning, she of Baby Reindeer fame – the Netflix dark comedy where she stalks a comedian. If it’s possible she’s even better in The Outlaws. She runs the community city farm with what she believes is a rod of iron – of course, she doesn’t have a clue. We look forward to the rest of the series. Hopefully all the jokes haven’t been used up – and won’t get censored before the next instalment. Newscaster Clive Myrie has been let loose on another foreign adventure before he takes up his exciting role as co-anchor of election night on the BBC. After that whistle-stop tour of Italy he has now taken himself off to Jamaica, where his family lived before the Windrush brought them to Britain. The series is called Clive Myrie’s Caribbean Adventure (BBC2, Sunday). Myrie, who also presents Mastermind, has a rather unusual manner. He can come across as a little distant, somewhat at odds with his apparently jolly, friendly exterior. It’s a curious thing. It was a fascinating visit though a crammed schedule as Clive met up with his sister Judith to explore the wild beauty of eastern Jamaica. To fire up his political bones, he talked with descendants of rebel mountain communities, the Maroons. He moved on to a high-altitude coffee farm, and did some impressive grinding. He was a natural. Incidentally, he doesn’t touch the stuff. Finally, he learned the secrets of making the famous Jamaican Jerk Pork, which was met with acclaim by local diners, before bedding down 100ft above the Caribbean Sea for a peaceful night’s sleep. So is it possible to actually feel nostalgic about politicians? This was how I felt when I saw Theresa May: The Accidental Prime Minister (ITV, Monday). The title almost suggested she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which, in some ways is true. Apart from not getting Brexit done, May is most remembered for her tears at the very end of her exit from power. Mostly it was a chance for her to be confessional, “I should’ve been less shy,” was one admission. Not sure about that. We rely on Downing Street to be populated by people who parade their egos proudly, otherwise Ian Hislop would have no material on a Friday night. FINALLY, Netflix had the show of the week, and another hit to celebrate. It’s Eric (Netflix), starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

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marketingnewsbusinessmerchant · 21 days

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TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV - #Global #Merchant https://www.merchant-business.com/tv-review-stephen-merchant-does-heavy-lifting-in-new-outlaws-series-tv-radio-showbiz-tv/?feed_id=7686&_unique_id=665c3359de7f7 TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of Stephen Merchant on the script was more than apparent – and most welcome. My private LOL count almost reached double figures. In fact, it was so long since I’d laughed at a TV show that I felt rather embarrassed to be chortling away. All this comes after the BBC said it would “Save Our Sitcoms”. It’s a laudable aim but to be honest I think the fight has been lost. We’re so restricted as to what we can and can’t laugh about that most comedies now simply aren’t funny. It’s no wonder we now have a channel devoted to the heyday of sitcoms – the 70s and 80s – it’s called Rewind TV. But this hasn’t stopped Stephen Merchant, his stature being what it is, who made jokes about the word “queer” and about Alison Hammond! I was delighted. And yes, I should get out more. Merchant’s character Greg relayed a complaint about noise coming from an adjoining room. He said: “It was so bad during This Morning, she told me, that she couldn’t hear Alison Hammond laughing!” As for the “queer” joke, actor Darren Boyd’s John did back away from it in the end, saying, “I’m not taking any chances”. It’s the thought that counts. And then there was a fine performance from Diane actress Jessica Gunning, she of Baby Reindeer fame – the Netflix dark comedy where she stalks a comedian. If it’s possible she’s even better in The Outlaws. She runs the community city farm with what she believes is a rod of iron – of course, she doesn’t have a clue. We look forward to the rest of the series. Hopefully all the jokes haven’t been used up – and won’t get censored before the next instalment. Newscaster Clive Myrie has been let loose on another foreign adventure before he takes up his exciting role as co-anchor of election night on the BBC. After that whistle-stop tour of Italy he has now taken himself off to Jamaica, where his family lived before the Windrush brought them to Britain. The series is called Clive Myrie’s Caribbean Adventure (BBC2, Sunday). Myrie, who also presents Mastermind, has a rather unusual manner. He can come across as a little distant, somewhat at odds with his apparently jolly, friendly exterior. It’s a curious thing. It was a fascinating visit though a crammed schedule as Clive met up with his sister Judith to explore the wild beauty of eastern Jamaica. To fire up his political bones, he talked with descendants of rebel mountain communities, the Maroons. He moved on to a high-altitude coffee farm, and did some impressive grinding. He was a natural. Incidentally, he doesn’t touch the stuff. Finally, he learned the secrets of making the famous Jamaican Jerk Pork, which was met with acclaim by local diners, before bedding down 100ft above the Caribbean Sea for a peaceful night’s sleep. So is it possible to actually feel nostalgic about politicians? This was how I felt when I saw Theresa May: The Accidental Prime Minister (ITV, Monday). The title almost suggested she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which, in some ways is true. Apart from not getting Brexit done, May is most remembered for her tears at the very end of her exit from power. Mostly it was a chance for her to be confessional, “I should’ve been less shy,” was one admission. Not sure about that. We rely on Downing Street to be populated by people who parade their egos proudly, otherwise Ian Hislop would have no material on a Friday night. FINALLY, Netflix had the show of the week, and another hit to celebrate.

It’s Eric (Netflix), starring Benedict Cumberbatch. This is a missing child mystery, but not as we’ve seen it done before. It’s Sesame Street meets every parent’s nightmare – with puppets and paedos (potentially) thrown in. There are big furry creatures that appear on the hit fictional show, Good Day Sunshine, on which Cumberbatch’s Vincent does a turn each morning. No spoilers about Eric, but this creative drama was already going in directions that Sherlock or Watson would have found far from elementary. Weave in some edgy 80s New York street life and some unorthodox police work and you have got a fascinating show. Clarke Peters is the apartment caretaker George. But Cumberbatch is the watch here, drawing on his Patrick Melrose character by descending into a drug-and-drink-induced parallel universe where anything can happen. I’m not writing off a cameo from either Big Bird, or Ernie & Bert. Source link TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV #REVIEW #Stephen #Merchant #heavy #lifting #Outlaws #series #Radio #Showbiz Source link Google News Source Link: https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1905383/TV-REVIEW-Stephen-Merchant-does-the-heavy-lifting-in-funny-new-Outlaws-series The post TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV appeared first on Merchant Business News. Buy, Sell, Get Informed, Negotiate and Be Happy! Global, Merchant TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of … Read More

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businessnewswebsiteonline · 21 days

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TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV - #Global #Merchant https://www.merchant-business.com/tv-review-stephen-merchant-does-heavy-lifting-in-new-outlaws-series-tv-radio-showbiz-tv/?feed_id=7685&_unique_id=665c33595e2dc TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of Stephen Merchant on the script was more than apparent – and most welcome. My private LOL count almost reached double figures. In fact, it was so long since I’d laughed at a TV show that I felt rather embarrassed to be chortling away. All this comes after the BBC said it would “Save Our Sitcoms”. It’s a laudable aim but to be honest I think the fight has been lost. We’re so restricted as to what we can and can’t laugh about that most comedies now simply aren’t funny. It’s no wonder we now have a channel devoted to the heyday of sitcoms – the 70s and 80s – it’s called Rewind TV. But this hasn’t stopped Stephen Merchant, his stature being what it is, who made jokes about the word “queer” and about Alison Hammond! I was delighted. And yes, I should get out more. Merchant’s character Greg relayed a complaint about noise coming from an adjoining room. He said: “It was so bad during This Morning, she told me, that she couldn’t hear Alison Hammond laughing!” As for the “queer” joke, actor Darren Boyd’s John did back away from it in the end, saying, “I’m not taking any chances”. It’s the thought that counts. And then there was a fine performance from Diane actress Jessica Gunning, she of Baby Reindeer fame – the Netflix dark comedy where she stalks a comedian. If it’s possible she’s even better in The Outlaws. She runs the community city farm with what she believes is a rod of iron – of course, she doesn’t have a clue. We look forward to the rest of the series. Hopefully all the jokes haven’t been used up – and won’t get censored before the next instalment. Newscaster Clive Myrie has been let loose on another foreign adventure before he takes up his exciting role as co-anchor of election night on the BBC. After that whistle-stop tour of Italy he has now taken himself off to Jamaica, where his family lived before the Windrush brought them to Britain. The series is called Clive Myrie’s Caribbean Adventure (BBC2, Sunday). Myrie, who also presents Mastermind, has a rather unusual manner. He can come across as a little distant, somewhat at odds with his apparently jolly, friendly exterior. It’s a curious thing. It was a fascinating visit though a crammed schedule as Clive met up with his sister Judith to explore the wild beauty of eastern Jamaica. To fire up his political bones, he talked with descendants of rebel mountain communities, the Maroons. He moved on to a high-altitude coffee farm, and did some impressive grinding. He was a natural. Incidentally, he doesn’t touch the stuff. Finally, he learned the secrets of making the famous Jamaican Jerk Pork, which was met with acclaim by local diners, before bedding down 100ft above the Caribbean Sea for a peaceful night’s sleep. So is it possible to actually feel nostalgic about politicians? This was how I felt when I saw Theresa May: The Accidental Prime Minister (ITV, Monday). The title almost suggested she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which, in some ways is true. Apart from not getting Brexit done, May is most remembered for her tears at the very end of her exit from power. Mostly it was a chance for her to be confessional, “I should’ve been less shy,” was one admission. Not sure about that. We rely on Downing Street to be populated by people who parade their egos proudly, otherwise Ian Hislop would have no material on a Friday night. FINALLY, Netflix had the show of the week, and another hit to celebrate.

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timenewsbusiness · 21 days

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TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV https://www.merchant-business.com/tv-review-stephen-merchant-does-heavy-lifting-in-new-outlaws-series-tv-radio-showbiz-tv/?feed_id=7684&_unique_id=665c3358cad58 TV REVIEW Stephen Merchant does heavy lifting in new Outlaws series | TV & Radio | Showbiz & TV Congratulations BBC, The Outlaws (BBC1, Thursday) was actually funny! What a relief. Yes, the plot – about criminals getting up to a caper while doing community service – was still completely daft. But the hand of Stephen Merchant on the script was more than apparent – and most welcome. My private LOL count almost reached double figures. In fact, it was so long since I’d laughed at a TV show that I felt rather embarrassed to be chortling away. All this comes after the BBC said it would “Save Our Sitcoms”. It’s a laudable aim but to be honest I think the fight has been lost. We’re so restricted as to what we can and can’t laugh about that most comedies now simply aren’t funny. It’s no wonder we now have a channel devoted to the heyday of sitcoms – the 70s and 80s – it’s called Rewind TV. But this hasn’t stopped Stephen Merchant, his stature being what it is, who made jokes about the word “queer” and about Alison Hammond! I was delighted. And yes, I should get out more. Merchant’s character Greg relayed a complaint about noise coming from an adjoining room. He said: “It was so bad during This Morning, she told me, that she couldn’t hear Alison Hammond laughing!” As for the “queer” joke, actor Darren Boyd’s John did back away from it in the end, saying, “I’m not taking any chances”. It’s the thought that counts. And then there was a fine performance from Diane actress Jessica Gunning, she of Baby Reindeer fame – the Netflix dark comedy where she stalks a comedian. If it’s possible she’s even better in The Outlaws. She runs the community city farm with what she believes is a rod of iron – of course, she doesn’t have a clue. We look forward to the rest of the series. Hopefully all the jokes haven’t been used up – and won’t get censored before the next instalment. Newscaster Clive Myrie has been let loose on another foreign adventure before he takes up his exciting role as co-anchor of election night on the BBC. After that whistle-stop tour of Italy he has now taken himself off to Jamaica, where his family lived before the Windrush brought them to Britain. The series is called Clive Myrie’s Caribbean Adventure (BBC2, Sunday). Myrie, who also presents Mastermind, has a rather unusual manner. He can come across as a little distant, somewhat at odds with his apparently jolly, friendly exterior. It’s a curious thing. It was a fascinating visit though a crammed schedule as Clive met up with his sister Judith to explore the wild beauty of eastern Jamaica. To fire up his political bones, he talked with descendants of rebel mountain communities, the Maroons. He moved on to a high-altitude coffee farm, and did some impressive grinding. He was a natural. Incidentally, he doesn’t touch the stuff. Finally, he learned the secrets of making the famous Jamaican Jerk Pork, which was met with acclaim by local diners, before bedding down 100ft above the Caribbean Sea for a peaceful night’s sleep. So is it possible to actually feel nostalgic about politicians? This was how I felt when I saw Theresa May: The Accidental Prime Minister (ITV, Monday). The title almost suggested she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which, in some ways is true. Apart from not getting Brexit done, May is most remembered for her tears at the very end of her exit from power. Mostly it was a chance for her to be confessional, “I should’ve been less shy,” was one admission. Not sure about that. We rely on Downing Street to be populated by people who parade their egos proudly, otherwise Ian Hislop would have no material on a Friday night. FINALLY, Netflix had the show of the week, and another hit to celebrate. It’s Eric (Netflix), starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

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