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#james potter is a masked singer
c0nsumemy5oul · 7 months
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WIP Wednesday Thursday
I've been working on something ever since I saw this post by @emlovessid and after a lot of planning and hard work I finally have a little snippet to share! I'm still in the first draft phase, so a lot of this might change but I really like what I've got going.
So, jegulus microfic (?) 766 words, rated T.
He knows that it’s impolite to answer the phone, especially when you’re in a radio interview, but it’s Regulus. He can’t not answer.  “Would you mind if I answer that?” Dave, his nosy interviewer, didn’t even have the time to nod before James picked up the call regardless. 
“Hey, hun.” James grinned, hearing his boyfriend’s voice. He lowered the volume so only he could hear it.  “James, hi!” A beat of silence. “Your voice sounds different, are you alright?”  “Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” Dave’s eyes were growing wide in his curiosity. James’ eyes twitched in annoyance.  “Okay, well, I just wanted to make sure you can make it to my gala next weekend? You’ll finally get to meet my friends!” Regulus’s voice sounded a little on edge, like he thought James couldn’t make time for it in his busy schedule. Which is outrageous because that’s exactly what he drilled his assistant about when they made said schedule.  “Of course.” James quickly shut down his doubts. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  “Okay,” Regulus made a sound and James instantly knew he was biting back a smile. “Are you busy? He asked after several beats of silence.  “I am a little occupied, yes.” James shot a glare at Dave from under his mask. “But I’ll call you when I’m home.”  “Alright. I’m gonna go have dinner with my brother now.” Reg told him.  “Have fun.” James smiled widely.  “Love you!”  “Love you too.” James replied, watching the screen as Regulus hung up. He turned back to Dave, uncrossed and recrossed his legs. “Uh, sorry, what was the question?”  “Who was that?” Dave borderline demanded, his eyes alight with curiosity and the prospect of a scoop.  Have some subtlety, at least. James smiled tightly, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” His years in media training will not go to waste.  “Yes, I would.” Dave smiled toothily, like this was some game to him. “I would like it very much.”  Well, James won’t play. “It was my mother.”  He can see the hesitancy on Dave’s face. But the man had to know he can’t call out a celebrity on a lie.  He can’t be an amateur.  “Mr. Prongs…”  Or he can.  James wished Remus was with him so could deck Dave in the face.  “Don’t you know, Dave? I’m a total mama’s boy.”  Dave laughed nervously, a retort on his lips, about to cross the fucking boundary.  “Let’s move on with the interview, shall we?” James said pleasantly, but his voice was laced with poison. “What was the next question?”  Dave cleared his throat and rearranged his notes, finally taking the hint. “Right, um. Fans are speculating about the new album you’ve been teasing, anything you can tell us about it?”  Finally, a question they had agreed upon.  James rattled off a practiced answer hinting some more to what the album is about and the style of the songs. (Mostly love songs. That’s Regulus to blame.)  Towards the end, the same question that James has had to answer in every single interview he ever had as Prongs came up.  “Why the mask?” James had a few answers ready. Imprinted in his mind forever due to the frequency of the query. He got tired of it all.  “Why not?” He replied. “You can’t fault a man for wanting to keep his public and private life separate. And I like my stag mask.”  “I understand the stage name,” Dave smiled again. James wanted to punch him oh-so badly. “But your face, Mr. Prongs.”  “Exactly. My face.” James nodded. “If I were to show it, I would lose every spec of privacy I had left. This way I can go outside and blend right in when I want to.”  “Well, you’d have some privacy left. Your mother’s calls, for example.” Dave joked. He chuckled innocently. James didn’t laugh. He was too focused on not ripping the man to shreds.  He stood up. “Oh, would you look at that! We ran out of time.” They still had five minutes to go. But James can’t bear sitting in the same room as his interviewer anymore. He’ll get shit for answering the phone anyway, might as well really piss off his publicist.  “Maybe we’ll continue in another interview.” They are not doing another interview.  Dave looked at him with hopeful mischievous eyes. James is never stepping foot in this building again.  “It was a pleasure to host you Mr. Prongs.” Dave said. “Good luck on your upcoming album.”  “Thank you.” James nearly spat the words as he stormed out.  He hated radio.
It's not coming out any time soon, if ever. But I do hope you like it. Would love to hear your thoughts!
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Book series that would make good movies/TV shows if done properly
With all this talk about Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones and now Harry Potter being remade for TV, there are a number of popular book series that I am surprised no one has (by now) done a proper film or TV series about. Here are a few that I think are overdue for adaptation on screen. Spoiler break here as this will be a bit long:
(n.b. all cover scans are from my collection)
1. Honor Harrington
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This post was inspired by the fact David Weber’s military SF series Honor Harrington - which traces the career and exploits of the titular character - turns 30 this year. There is some immense world-building by Weber here, more than enough to sustain a TV series and spin-offs. And Honor had the “tough hero with cute cat” look down pat while Brie Larson was still in her crib. I feel old because I read On Basilisk Station when it first came out!
2. Killashandra Ree
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I’m surprised there haven’t been movies adapting Anne McCaffrey’s novels. The Killashandra Ree trilogy - about a young woman who uses her singing voice to mine a precious commodity called crystal. This would be a perfect role for a singer-actress.
3. Illuminatus!
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Shea and Wilson’s Illuminatus! trilogy has been called the ultimate fairy tale for paranoids. Most of not all references to “the Illuminati” which appears in films from time to time take some notes from the Illuminatus! Trilogy. It would have to be NC-17 if done for movies, so this is more likely a Netflix-friendly concept. And once the trilogy is done, Wilson went on to write a number of novels called The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles, another semi-related trilogy, Schrodinger’s Cat, and also Masks of the Illuminati. 
4. Vatta’s War
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If they don’t want to do Honor Harrington, there are other female-led military sci-fi series available, such as Elizabeth Moon’s Vatta’s War series focusing on space academy dropout Ky Vatta’s attempts to redeem herself as she commands a trading vessel caught in the middle of a war.
5. Modesty Blaise
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It’s true, there have been 3 attempts at adapting Peter O’Donnell’s comic strip for the movies: indeed, his very first full-length novel adapted his original script for the 1966 movie version that threw everything out the window in favour of goofy comedy. A 1980s TV pilot was Americanized. A 2004 prequel movie called My Name is Modesty failed because it was a prequel. But if properly cast (Gal Gadot), and properly written, a Modesty Blaise movie would make everyone forget the entire notion of casting a woman as James Bond - they don’t need to do so with retired crime lord-turned-unofficial MI6 spy Modesty Blaise around.
6. Old Man’s War
I was going to include John Scalzi’s amazing Old Man’s War series next, but apparently they are doing a TV series of that one.
7. Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings
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OK, maybe not - but it would be funny to see someone release this as counter-programming to Rings of Power!
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wolves-and-stars · 2 years
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'The tell-all end-all with Sirius Black'
There have been pictures everywhere, ones with him turned just barely enough for us not to be able to see his face, some, where we've caught his face but he always seem to have sunglasses and a mask on. 
Sirius Black, lead singer of The Marauders, alongside Bassist James Potter and Drummer Peter Pettigrew, has been pictured with the same man countless times. 
The vulturing media and lovesick fans are dying to know, who the fella is, us included. Black hadn't exactly come out, or ever even talked about it. According to the Singer, any questions about his private life are off limits. His management, run by James Potter's distinguished partner, Lily Evans, is seemingly respectful of that. 
Countless Interviews cut off, questions unanswered, even legal action taken against anyone who's tried otherwise, and boy have people tried. Ever since their rise to fame when they were sixteen, Sirius has been pictured with the same man, atleast so we're led to believe. 
He seems to have the same build, incredibly tall, towering over the musician, just enough to have the fans cooing at how Sirius has to get on his tip toes to kiss him. 
When the cap isn't on properly, light honey brown hair can be seen peeking out, just enough to show off loose curls. Never once has he been caught without his glasses though, dark blue shades covering any hints towards the mystery man's eye colour. 
Fans often, like the acclaimed artist, swoon over the man's physique, strong, sturdy arms, perfectly visible in a shot of him twirling the singer around. Eclipsing the rockstar, completely hiding him from paps just by standing behind him, leaving us with many missed opportunities inside Sirius Black's mystifying life. 
He's always either dressed to the nines in a black three piece suit, with a charming tie or sweats with a white tee. The complete opposite to his "boyfriend", who's often applauded for his overall fashion sense and risqué outfits. 
However, the shots are always blurry and extremely far away, we simply can't catch a break with those two, intent on privacy. The both of them seemed to have a sixth sense warning them of the media's presence, and in their ten years they've never been caught once. Truly impressive.
Sometimes, very rarely we catch a picture of the both of them rounding up an alley, looking positively ruffled, indicating, well... we all know, now don't we? Those shots always seem to be taken down and black listed.
They were rumored to live together, but the singer kept his residential address strictly confidential, as with all other personal buiness. 
When the first ever picture of the two of them broke out, a month after their first album hit the charts, fans went into a frenzy. There was contant speculation as to who the mystery man was. 
Regulus Black, working at Lily Evans company, as well as Sirius Black's brother refused to comment. As did the others. Eventually some fans contacted their boarding school and scoped out what seemed to be a fourth roommate. 
When news broke out of the existence of Remus Lupin, the media was flooded with pictures of him as young lad, as well as hypothesis of him being said mystery man. 
At the time, Remus Lupin had been launching his start up "Inkwell" which soon became the largest tech company in silicone valley, taking over companies like Apple and Microsoft with seeming ease. 
Teach Giant and Billionaire Remus Lupin vehemently denied even keeping in contact with Sirius Black, due to an incident that occured in their fifth year, referring to it as 'the prank', refusing to comment any further. 
James Potter seen out and about with the businessman, when asked, replied "They had a fallout in fifth year, and nothing's been the same since."
Seemingly convinced most media outlets let go of the Marauders former roommate and moved on to other suspects. However, some fans still whole heartedly believe what they've coined to be "wolfstar", pertainting to the mythology behind Remus Lupin's name and Sirius, in canis major.
"If you look at their pictures in school Remus and Sirius are always sitting next to each other. Even though Remus was lanky in his school days you can match up the picture of him now at some summits he's attended and compare them to the suits 'mystery man' wears." one over-involved fan commented. 
Even surpassing rumours of larry stylinson and phan in their peak moments. he fans are relentless. 
The only comment Sirius Black had to make when asked by an interview was "I love them, i do, they're ridiculously kind people, and i understand the curiosity, however, realistically it's my personal wife. Imagine working at an office and being asked to reveal who your partner is, that'd be absurd" Rightly said, privacy isn't just the respectful, polite thing to do, it's the right thing to do, as our outlet seems to maintian. 
So, what if Sirius has been spotted using an inkwell pen during meetups, James Potter had lent that to him, after all, the Bassist was extremely close to Lupin. So, what if Remus Lupin had been wearing a ring for 4 years, despite claims of being single, people wore rings all time, especially on their ring finger, closely resembling one for engagement. 
The fans speculate what suits them, However reality is often times disappointing. The likely explanation points towards the realistic solution. Sirius Black dating a mystery man he met after attaining fame and Remus Lupin being single. 
Catch us next time as we discuss the Ups and Downs of Marlene Mckinnon's new album.
Mckinnon's EP 'her' alleged to be about her newest boyfriend, Gilderoy Lockhart, written and produced alongside roommate and longterm best friend Dorcas Meadows.
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beansstan · 6 years
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Fly Me To The Moon (chp.1)
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Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (Dorothy ‘Dot’ Baker)
Summary: Dot is running from her past, and she just so happens to run right into Steve’s present and future. 
Word Count: 1,242
A/N: so this is a new story that i’ve started. i had a sort of dream about it the other night and i wanted to turn it into something... and now i have??? i currently have 4 chapters planned out after this one, and i plan on writing more. hopefully you all enjoy. 
Disclaimer: I don’t own any Marvel characters, I own Dorothy Baker’s character and story line.
Dorothy Baker was walking to the library on the corner of the street, looking for books to use for research in her first project of freshman year. She was so excited to be working towards her first A of high school, and of proving herself to the teachers. What she didn’t see was the tall man stalking behind her, waiting for the right moment, and that moment had arrived. Before Dorothy could even comprehend what was happening, she was in the back of a black van with a hood over her head that reeked of sweat, blood and vomit.
It had been about three years since that day. At this point Dorothy really had no idea. Her captors had kept her isolated from the outside world, limiting her to one room with no windows. That in itself should’ve been torture; but that was nothing compared to what HYDRA did to her. They would inject her with God knows what, and follow with various forms of electrocution and beatings. 
For the longest time, Dorothy had no idea why they were doing it, or what they were trying to achieve. She had no idea until the day she escaped. 
Dorothy was strapped to a chair when she was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions that seemed foreign to her. She tried and tried to push them down, and to stop feeling, but it didn’t work very well. The man that she had learned to call ‘Papa’ stop in front of her, staring right into her glassy eyes; Dorothy felt as though she was looking into his soul. She could feel everything that was coursing through his veins. Anger. Depression. Longing. Things that she didn’t want to be feeling anymore than she did on a daily basis. Dorothy felt, and felt some more, until she couldn’t take it any longer. 
She suddenly let out a gut-wrenching scream, projecting all the anger that had been brewing inside her for how ever many years she’d been stuck in this hellhole, all the anger that she could feel from everyone around her in the room. It was safe to say, no-one in the room was prepared. Everyone collapsed, overcome by so much emotion that they all passed out. Well, everyone except Dorothy. 
Unbuckling herself from the restraints, she made a run for it, doing her best to find the way out, which she did. Bursting out onto the street she looked quite the sight. With hair down to her hip, the ends of which were changing colour, a hospital gown and crazed eyes, she looked very out of place in the quiet streets of…wherever she was. 
It was now five years since the day she escaped, and Dorothy, or Dot as she now went by, had learned a lot. After being held hostage for what she learned was six and a half years, she had a lot of catching up to do. She’s missed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, she’d missed all of high school, she’d missed her sweet sixteen. She’d missed everything. Dot had been thrown back into the world as a 20 year old with enough life experience for at least seven people. Re-learning everything had been difficult, but it had also lead Dot to discover things that she was passionate about. A lot of the memories she had before HYDRA were fuzzy, and more like distant dreams that actual experiences that she’d been through. 40s music in particular was something that helped her learn to cope. Coping with a constant influx of emotion should’ve been enough to drive poor Dot to insanity, but she was stronger than that. After a good year of extensive research, Dot had determined that she’d been injected with something that caused a mutation to occur in her DNA; the mutation had probably always been there, just never activated. Now she was an empath, and there was no escaping it. 
Dot had relocated herself to New York when she was approximately 23, she never figured out exactly how old she was, so she just guessed based on the year it was. There was a lot for her there. A multitude of clubs that she could sing in, and it was far away enough from where she was held for her to feel at least a bit safe. Singing was her escape, and it gave her just enough money to move from hotel to hotel. Dot had made the decision not to stay in one place of residence for too long, fearing that she would be tracked down and recaptured. She’d developed a solid routine of singing at a few different clubs a week, moving hotel, and singing for veterans on a Sunday afternoon. 
That was how she ended up in Washington about to meet Captain Steve Rogers, the country’s sweetheart, and Sergeant James Barnes, the recently rediscovered best friend of said Captain. Dot had met a kind man called Sam through her volunteering at the retirement homes, and he asked if she would be willing to sing for a group of veterans from multiple wars. Of course she said yes, but she didn’t realise that would mean being flown out to Washington. Dot spotted the two super soldiers walking towards her and took a deep breathe, straightening the scarf she had woven into her hair, hiding the fact that it would change based on her emotion.  
“Steve, Bucky, this is the lovely lady I was telling you about,” said Sam, grinning at the two men that had just joined them. 
“Jeez Sam, you’re making me feel like an middle-aged mother,” Dot giggled, attempting to mask the blush she felt creeping up her neck as she looked at the blond man standing in front of her.
“Hey, I’m Steve, and this is Bucky,” Steve said, reaching out to shake Dot’s hand, a large smile covering his face, Bucky stood next to him, a smile also on his face. 
Dot took Steve’s hand and gave it a short shake. Physical contact was difficult for Dot as it amplified her empathetic abilities. “Hi, I’m Dot.”
Steve seemed slightly dejected at quick loss of contact that he shared with Dot, not quite knowing why he was suddenly craving it. 
“So I guess you’re the mysterious singer that Sam has been raving about for literally weeks,” interjected Bucky, sensing a blanket of awkwardness falling over the current situation they were in. 
“Unless there’s another mysterious singer that I don’t know about, then yes, that is I,” Dot said, “I wouldn’t say I’m worth raving over though. I’m just your run of the mill singer.”
“Oh I have to disagree with you there, Polka Dot,” Dot scoffed at the nickname Sam had gifted her with, “you have a voice that doesn’t belong in our time, it’s beautiful.” Sam made a small smile grow on Dot’s face and he just carried on talking, “Your voice is probably more these Grandpa’s speed to be honest with you, but either way you’re going to stun the audience.” 
Both Bucky and Steve looked at each other with a confused expression, and continued to listen to the conversation that was unfolding. 
“Speaking of the audience, I better go warm up my voice. Can’t be disappointing you after you’ve spoken up my ability so much,” Dot said, waving a quick goodbye at the three men, and then walking towards the makeshift stage area that Sam had constructed for her. 
tags: @bucky-is-a-hero-fightme
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kyloren · 7 years
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«you have witchcraft in your lips» —famous!Bughead
When Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper were cast as leads for HBO’s Harry Potter prequel show Magic is Might, they thought they did not know each other. They were wrong.
note: this is a collaborative work between myself and @lilibug--xx. I wrote Jughead’s POV and she Betty’s. Be warned, we are each other’s betas, too. 
read it on ao3. 
“A dress made of air and webs and you,
The wet dreams evaporate as they come true.
To anyone else just endless blue,
An invisible kite string connects me to you.”
— Pieces of Sky by Beth Orton.
CHAPTER ONE: mr jones and me, we’re gonna be big stars…
@Variety: HBO picks up four pilot episodes, including Toni Topaz’s Harry Potter prequel project.
@Deadline: Up-and-coming musical director Kevin Keller branches off from theatre and confirms working on Harry Potter prequel series with HBO — Magic is Might.
@EntertainmentNews: BREAKING NEWS: Disney darling Veronica Lodge officially casted as one of the leads in Kevin Keller’s upcoming Marauders Era project — Magic is Might.
@Buzzfeed: You will not believe who was just confirmed to be cast in Magic is Might! 
@CherryBombshell: To all my loyal, beautiful followers: Of course, I got the part. How could they not cast moi?
@NZHerald: Singer-songwriter Archie Andrews is rumoured to be involved with HBO’s Magic is Might.
@Deadline: Magic is Might Harry Potter prequel series finds its Sirius Black: “He walked in right off the street and I knew — that is our Sirius Black,” says showrunner, Kevin Keller.
@EntertainmentNews: HBO’s Magic is Might just cast its Remus Lupin, and it’s a very interesting choice.
@Buzzfeed: Magic is Might’s Remus Lupin is now — Remmy Lupin?!
.
.
.
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THE WAYWARD PRINCE:
The thing about Jughead Jones — he was weird, and he liked to be weird.
Jughead Jones was the following things: adroit wordsmith, razor-sharp, and a smart-mouthed asshole. He was not, however, the sort a teenage girl’s dreams were made of. He was a little too tall and a little too angular with a face that was a little too fond of scowling to be conventionally attractive. He had two girlfriends in the span of his entire life, and first one he’d acquired when he was nine for the span of two days. He was akin to a scalpel — sharp-edged, clinical, and very good at cutting people out of his life.
Except, Sabrina.
Never Sabrina.
And because of Sabrina — he was here, regretting everything.
“This,” Jughead grumbled for the nth time, “is all your fault.”
“Yes,” Sabrina agreed, throwing a dusky-blue button-down at him with a glare that clearly conveyed wear this or else, “it is my fault that you’ve landed the biggest television role of this year. I apologise for being magnificent.”
Jughead snorted. “Potter is the lead.”
“Who cares? Sirius is obviously meant to be the hot one. That makes his role the bigger fish. And you,” Sabrina said, tilting his head sideways and inspecting the carelessly casual style she arranged his hair in (read: brushed once and let it air-dry), “cousin-german, will soon be smiling from a poster on every pubescent girl’s wall and be the main feature in their dreams.”
“If it’s all the same to you,” Jughead’s scowl grew deeper, a feat he had not imagined was achievable before he’d done it. “I’d rather not.” 
Two hours later, two thirds of which were spent navigating L.A.’s atrocious traffic, Jughead found himself lounging in a deceptively comfortable egg chair in a Hollywood studio, waiting to proceed with the first script reading session with the rest of Magic is Might cast. Sabrina, primly perched to his right, was scanning the others over the brim of her rapidly cooling coffee cup with shrewd, pale-grey eyes, as Jughead lazily thumbed through the script.
“Stop eyeing them like you want to wear their faces as a mask, Ree,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
“I am so not. I’m eyeing them like I want to make a fashionable skin suit, obviously. Get your facts straight, Jones.”
Here was the thing; — Jughead firmly believed that if you did something, you better put your best foot forward from the start; to do your very best at everything you undertook and not half-ass it simply because it required effort. (Life required effort, Jughead often reminded himself, if it didn’t it wouldn’t be so damn difficult.)
This stance seemed at odds with his disaffected and cynical slacker persona, but what could Jughead say — he was contrary like that. He could remain apathetic and be a pedantic perfectionist at heart; he had layers, like a lasagna.
But precisely that sort of attitude had landed him the lead role in Magic is Might as Sirius Black.
It had happened nine days ago, when Jughead had accompanied Sabrina to her second audition for Magic is Might — she had failed to get Lily Evans’s role and was trying out for Narcissa Black. Jughead was there for emotional support, for the sort of get your shit together, you walking waste of space pep-talks Sabrina and he excelled at. He was there to permit his hand to be crushed in a vice grip as she waited for her name to be called, and to take her to Wildflower Café by their apartment to gorge on breakfast foods and stuff their faces with toasted marshmallow milkshakes in the face of another disappointment.
Jughead Jones was, by profession, a screenwriter; he wrote seven plays, one of which had been actually made into a film. He was not an actor. The universe disagreed, however. Kevin fucking Keller disagreed, too, apparently, because the moment Jughead had walked up to a dumbfounded-looking Sabrina after her audition — handkerchief at the ready, just in case — he’d been spotted by Kevin fucking Keller’s eagle-eyed stare. Kevin fucking Keller who’d taken one look at Jughead, pointed his finger at him and with eyedrum piercing snap, barked out, “You, there — in here, now.” and Sabrina, that fucking traitor, had pushed him forward into the audition room.
It was serendipitous he knew the script like the back of his hand, having practiced with Sabrina until they were blue in the face, it was also fortuitous his reaction in the face of sheer audacity was to fall back on his most defining traits — sarcasm and generally all-around fuck-you attitude.
Both, as it had turned out, were great characteristics for one Sirius Black.
So here he was, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third, newly minted actor extraordinaire with no education about the craft and enough talent, according to Keller, to fill the Pacific ocean and then some — out of his depth, and feeling utterly displaced.
It was a peculiar feeling, foreign and unwelcome — Jughead hated it with the blazing ebullition of pure abhorrence.
“Hey,” Sabrina called, soft as a whisper, placing her hand on his knee, stilling it. Jughead hadn’t realised his left leg had been bouncing. “Relax, bro-bro.”
Jughead opened his mouth to reply something along the lines of Shut it, hambone, but was interrupted when a tall shadow of a small person fell across his lap.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mad Max himself,” commented a small, red-headed girl on berry-red charged murder-weapons on the lam from the law and thus posing as women’s footwear. “So, tall, dark, and inexperienced, how does it feel to finally be in the real show biz?”
There was a refractory set to Jughead’s clenched jaw, so Sabrina answered in his stead, snickering, “I don’t know Big Red, you tell us?”
The girl’s exceedingly red mouth was reset out of its perpetually sullen pout into a grimace of distaste. “For a virtual nobody, you sure have a mouth on you, Emily Strange.”
There were four rules Jughead Jones instinctively followed whenever he chose to speak: Was he being rational? Was he being truthful? Were his words necessary? Were they kind? Often times, if he had not met all of his criteria, Jughead would settle on keeping his silence a while longer.
This, was not such a time.
“Is that all you can do,” Jughead found himself rasping out, “try your utmost to diss people with painfully obvious references? You’re not doing a very good job, are you?”
“You’re a pretty cool customer, huh?”
“I hide my inner pain underneath a stoic visage,” Jughead quipped. Cheryl Blossom looked like would like nothing more than to dig her red-tipped claws into Jughead’s stoic visage.
“Hey, guys,” said a guy in corduroy slacks and a blue-yellow varsity jacket of all things; he was average-height, but with a Heroic Build identifying him as James Potter material. There was a hint of admonishment in his tone, but not enough to reign anyone in. “We’re supposed to be getting along…”
Jughead was utterly unsurprised when he was promptly ignored.
Big Red sneered down on them and with a snazzy flip of gloriously red hair, pointedly perched on the corner of the oval table. Then, she extended a bedazzled with a shape of a cherry phone Jughead didn’t realise she held in front of her on a selfie-stick, and with that godawful pout, began, “See, my lovely cherries, when presented with a choice between either Tim Burton Junior and his blonde Fran Bow or a ginger Kelly Clarkson, Cheryl Bombshell has no choice but to choose herself. I certainly hope their acting is better than their personalities because those are as parched as a dry spell.”
“Oi, Cherry Bomb!” a female producer barked sharply, the one with pink-striped hair and a punk attitude, “don’t fucking live blog a closed script reading, you imbecile!”
“Don’t call me that!” Cheryl Blossom snarled, teeth unnaturally white against the vivid red of her mouth. “How are my cherries supposed to know what I’m doing at any given moment if I don’t blog about it?”
“I don’t know,” Jughead grumbled, too low to be heard by anyone but Sabrina, who promptly elbowed him in the ribs, “maybe try not to seek validation from a faceless mass of people online?” said the kettle to the pot, he mentally added.
The woman with the pink hair was even shorter than Cheryl, but when she stood up, she cut an impressively intimidating figure nonetheless. “This,” she growled, “is what we get for casting a bloody Instagram starlet.”
“She’s a solid choice, Toni,” Keller admonished, softly, gingerly prying away her fingers off his bicep, “she can act and her hair is iconic. What more could we ask for?”
“A fucking professional attitude for one. And maybe,” Topaz, that was her name, Jughead finally remembered, pointedly shouted in red-head’s direction, “not to always pout like she’s about to suck dick.”
Cheryl Blossom looked up from the highly-focused examination of her razor-sharp talons she’d been performing and pouted. “I don’t suck dick on sheer principle, you grotsky little byotch.”
Varsity Jacket raised his hands in placation. “Okay, seriously, maybe you should—”
“Toni, go smoke a fag and find your chill,” cut in Keller, and her hand immediately shot up, giving him the middle finger, but she left the room nonetheless. “And Cheryl, take it down a notch. I’m serious, you hear me?”
Cheryl turned away from him with a huff, but she hadn’t said anything. Instead, she began typing away furiously on her phone.
Huh, thought Jughead.
Kevin Keller was not a tough guy, he noticed, he did not have a commanding presence. Even Varsity Jacket drew more attention to himself with his ridiculous floppy hair, freckled face, and All-American attitude. But, Jughead decided, Kevin Keller understood women. With that in mind, Jughead settled back in his chair, reading over the script yet again.
It was fifteen minutes later when Toni Topaz strode into the room, her combat boots practically abusing the dotted, grey linoleum with the force of her steps, not looking an iota less stressed. “Fuck it,” she announced, “if we wait anymore for those two, we’ll get behind schedule.”
“All right, then,” Keller said, clapping his hands, “places, everyone.”
Like the asshole she was, Sabrina took the seat assigned to him, next to Varsity Jacket, and switched their name planks with a wink. Jughead had neither the inclination nor the naiveté to question her choices, so he dragged the chair he had been sitting for the last half-an-hour towards the table by its back, and positioned himself on Sabrina’s left, straightening the SIRIUS BLACK plaque so it was uniformly aligned with all the others.
The plague before a lounging Cheryl Blossom did not read BITCH FROM HELL, much to Jughead’s surprise, instead, it said — LILY EVANS.
A thought streaked across the forefront of his mind: We are all royally fucked.
Varsity Jacket’s named turned out to be Archie Andrews. Jughead knew that now because the first words out of that kid’s mouth were, quite literally, “Hey, there. I’m Archie Andrews, I’m eighteen, you may know me from last year’s 16 Birthday Wishes, and I look forward to working with ya all.”
Jughead could not have conjured this kid up had he even tried. He shared a concerned glance with Sabrina who mouthed, is he for real? and Jughead only had the energy to shrug. Yeah, he decided, he could see this Archie Andrews as one James Potter. If he squinted.
Cheryl Blossom did not introduce herself. She scowled at all of them, even poor golden retriever puppy personified Andrews, called them philistines, and proceeded with reading her lines. Interesting development: she could act. Expected conclusion: she packed too much malice into her lines and came of as passive aggressive. Keller had to intermediately correct her. That was, however, a correctable quality she could redeem herself from with enough effort; or so Sabrina had said, Jughead’s inescapable, little-devil-on-the-shoulder-type expert on all things acting™.  
When it was his turn to read, Jughead did what he had always done when he read out loud his scripts during editing: tried his damndest not to stutter, keeping his voice smooth and even, and detached himself from the situation, rendering himself utterly impervious to nerves and apprehension. It was not Jughead Jones who had been reciting the script from memory as the lines printed on paper streamed before his eyes in a confusing, maddening swirl — it had been Sirius Black doing all those things; teasing his friend James, flirting with prim and proper Lily, arguing with Narcissa.
Disassociating might have kept Jughead’s anxiety at bay, but it made Sirius Black come alive.
So, of course, once Jughead had gotten into the swing of things, the universe rained on his parade: the door slammed open, revealing two girls standing on the other side of its frame.
“Oooops,” said the shorter one, her dark hair reflecting light attractively as she stode in the room. She had not sounded particularly sorry, Jughead noticed. “Apologies, hadn’t meant to barge in quite so—”
“Veronica,” Toni cut in, as bitingly as a wolf, “you were supposed to be here half-an-hour ago!”
“That late, huh,” muttered Veronica assumingly Lodge, flipping her wrist to check the slim, diamond-encrusted watch on her left hand. “Apologies, Toni, darling, but L.A. traffic is simply odious, as you well know. Got held up.”
“By what — appearance of abominable snowman in the middle of Franklin Avenue?”
“Not quite,” Veronica replied, a sly not-quite smile settling on her face, “Betty and I—”
“Of course, you had hamstrung Cooper, too.” Toni cast a dirty look over Veronica’s shoulder at a willowy, nervous-looking blonde still hesitating in the doorway. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you there, princess.”
“Well, as I was saying, Betty and I,” continued Veronica Lodge, bulldozing over Toni completely and out of the corner of his eye, Jughead could see Call Me Archie Andrews’s jaw unhinge a little, “were late completely by accident, but it was all my fault. Let’s just say, a Lodge doesn’t always land on their feet.
“Still, I had to amend such an insufferable grievance,” Veronica smiled, charmingly, still sly as a fox. “Imagine how tickled pink I was to learn we are not only headed into the same building, but for the same script reading—”
“To which you are late; both of you,” grumbled Toni, but she seemed to have lost most of her heat. Kevin was rubbing her shoulders soothingly as she massaged her temples. Momentarily, Jughead wondered if she was prematurely grey beneath all that pink dye.
“—long story, short: Betty here,” Veronica said, stepping back and drawing the taller girl into her side. “Is my new BFF and I love her to pieces.”
“From a five minute meeting,” Kevin asked, corner of his mouth twitching.
“Boo, you whore,” teased Veronica, earning an unexpect snort from Sabrina, “it’s love at first sight. Don’t judge.” Then:
“You there,” Veronica snapped her fingers in the direction of a fish-eyed assistant Jughead took care to ignore — she’d been making moon-eyes at him, according to Sabrina, and there were times to be wary of his cousin’s advice, but not in instances such as this one. “Fetch me a skinny venti white mocha, one shot, with two pumps of sugarfree vanilla, no whip — pronto. I can’t think clearly without my daily recommended injection of sugar and caffeine.”
Immediately, the situation dissolved into absolute bedlam as everyone clamoured for Ginger’s attention to place their coffee order, too. She’s a sly one, Jughead thought for the third time, smart, too.
Here was the thing about Jughead Jones: he was an objective observer of life, not an active participator. An introvert and a borderline misanthrope, he regarded the world from a safe distance of cool, clinical detachment — he watched and he recorded and he understood because he noticed enough to pay attention in the first place; he was perceptive, and he used this to his advantage. 
And as if enticed by a magnetic pull, Jughead’s eyes drifted towards the leggy blonde to his right. The first thing he noticed her was this — she was uncomfortable. The second was that she was seemed nervous, displaced; and third — well, she was making her way towards him.
This girl, however, was totally throwing him for a loop.
She was dressed in a diaphanous, intricately embroidered, sapphire-coloured blouse, and when she shifted to pull out her chair, Jughead could see her laced brassiere through the silk material. Unexpectedly, she sat next to him, across from a plaque reading REMMY LUPIN. She had a striking look — blue-eyed and golden-haired with a face like a porcelain doll’s; wide-eyed, lovely, and haunting in its stillness. I met a lady on a moor, Jughead though, aureate hair, refulgent eyes; a dancing, starry sprite.
“Hi,” she greeted, turning to him, face splitting into a blooming, honeyed smile, white teeth gleaming, the streaming sunlight from the window behind them set her braid into a molten blaze, “I’m Betty.”
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THE DREAMER:
“Three creams, two splenda, please.”
Betty Cooper was already running (hopefully, fashionably) late; not exactly a good first impression. She had woken up behind schedule (she had sort of fallen into the black hole that was Tumblr, recently, and had taken to staying up late); her cat, Caramel, had thrown up all over the kitchen floor. One side of her hair had dried flatter than the other — she was never going to bed straight from the shower ever again. And her uber had been running behind. Fantastic, she had uttered when finally arriving at the address given. The time on her phone alerting her that she should would have been inside already, had her morning gone accordingly, sipping on her coffee without a care in the world.
Well, that last bit was a stretch. If you asked anyone who knew her, they would say without a doubt that, Betty Cooper cared too much, about everything.
It was kind of her thing, though. Betty had a profound sense of perseverance and applied it to anyone in need of help that she came across. Polly (her older sister and recently, albeit somewhat regrettably, her manager) akined it to her being like a new mother, babying her fresh-faced ducklings. It often impeded her own desires and well-thought out plans.
Betty was a goner for a schedule. She could plan her day like nobody’s business — rarely did it ever actually go according to plan though. She would describe herself as being meticulous bordering the edge of perfectionist — Betty actually detested that word. Being in control of the situation, however, gave her life.
This was all new to her though, at least, fairly. Acting, that is.
She had been on edge of booking a flight back to San Francisco for what seemed like months. With only $200 to her name, and a can of cold soup sitting like a rock in her belly, Betty had auditioned for a role in Magic is Might. She had been failing auditions for months, her savings account was gone, and she was exhausted from working two menial jobs in order to have money to even go to auditions.
So, by all accounts, Betty figured an extra boost of caffeine was in order to make it through the whirlwind day that had been plotted ahead. A table read with her cast mates of Magic is Might, who she had yet to meet, was slotted for the whole day. As well as some promotional pictures of the group. The whole thing came together rather quickly for an HBO show, as she understood. Betty would be forever grateful that they hadn’t found anyone for the part of Remus Lupin yet.
Somehow, her name had been misspelled (she wanted to glare at Polly) and they thought it had said Elizander, on her papers. Whoever had been manning the audition hadn’t done a thorough look-through at the time and had barely looked up at her, just shooed her through the door. They seemed desperate.
To be fair, she hadn’t realized that the part of Remus was male. Of course, she had read the Harry Potter books, who hasn’t? But Polly had simply implored her to get her ass to this audition, without much else to go on.
Everyone had stared at her when she entered the room, but the guy in the middle of the group seated before her had stood up, planting his hands on the table with a loud smack.
“Excuse me, this isn’t —”
“No, excuse me, but that was incredibly rude.” A blush bloomed across her chest, streaking upwards, despite her outward display of confidence. “I’m here to audition, so let me audition before turning me away.”
It turns out that the man was Kevin Keller, one of the showrunners. Betty had desperately wanted to curl into a ball from mortification when she found out, but instead she had been engulfed in a hug while he had exclaimed “Such fire!”, and had let her do the audition.  
They had complimented her afterwards. Apparently she had an inner voice that matched Remus’s suppressed darkness à la werewolf unequivocally. They were going to change the character and rework the script for her. Betty was unperturbed usually, but she had been floored by their sentiments.
Now, granted, they had done the same thing for the character of Snape, but that was for Veronica Lodge — ex-disney starlet who had bowed out of the limelight for several years only to return and turn everyone’s heads when she demanded the part of Severus Snape.
Betty mussed her life was going to be very different from here on out (assuming the show gets picked up after the contingent episodes), but she was looking forward to not cringing every time they ran her card through a register. She loved food, and coffee was a vice she wasn’t willing to give up.
In L.A. there seemed to be a Starbucks on just about every godforsaken block, so she had been thankful there was one conveniently close to the building she was now ardently walking toward. Betty was practically jogging as she took a sip of her drink, the mouthful of cold coffee was sweet and creamy. It was really refreshing — had she not just spilled it all over her shirt when someone plowed into her shoulder, jarring the cup from her hand.
Betty had stood frozen in place, her muscles turning tense as she panicked. Of course she had worn her favorite outfit today. Her pale pink sweater was now sticking to her skin uncomfortably, but thankfully there were only a few drops on her jeans — the dark color of them would prevent a stain from being noticeable, but her sweater…
“Oh my god, fuck, I am so sorry.”
Betty looked up from where she was still staring at her coffee soaked front, hand crushing the now empty cup. She blinked owlishly at the girl who had spoken. A dark haired girl with an equally empty cup, however stain free clothes — impeccable, by the way, in front of her. Small hands covered in white lace gloves (really? The urge to roll her eyes was strong) were reaching out for her and grabbing hold of her arm, gently albeit forcefully. Betty had no choice but to be tugged along and out of the path of the ravenous L.A. goers on the sidewalk.
“It’s… fine, really,” Betty hadn’t wanted to use the word, but there wasn’t anything else on the tip of her tongue. “I’m running late to my read through anyway, I should —”
Veronica interrupted her, raising her impeccably arched brows even higher. “Read through? As in, script?”
Nodding, Betty looked up to the tall glass front building they were almost in front of. She had been so close…
“Well, I think we’re headed to the same place then. Veronica Lodge,” the raven haired girl extended her glove covered hand and Betty raised her hand that wasn’t a sticky mess to shake it. Veronica continued, “pleasure to meet you…” she trailed off and Betty interjected.
“Betty Cooper.”
“Betty, allow me to offer you a new blouse, I simply can’t let you in there like that.”
Betty had started to shake her head, fingers itching to reach up and tighten her ponytail, but alas, she realized, she had worn her hair in a loose braid that brushed the edges of her collarbone. “No, that’s okay, you don’t have to do that.” she waved a hand, tossing her empty cup into the trash bin they had stopped by.
“I insist. Come,” it wasn’t up for debate anymore, that white glove grabbing Betty’s wrist again and pulling her toward a sleek black car that was parked some spaces down. “Don’t worry about being late, if we both are then they really can’t do anything about it."
Betty was surprised that the words didn’t sound pretentious coming from the other girls mouth, but humble. Veronica had pulled her inside the car, instructing her to pull the door closed. She hesitated before doing so, the door shutting with a soft click. She never thought being in a car alone with Veronica Lodge would ever be on her agenda, but here she was, with a collection of delicate tops spread over their laps that were distinctly not at all Betty’s style.
But beggars couldn’t be choosers.
Her green-blue eyes examined the choices carefully, taking in the price tags still dangling from them. Her throat was dry, her swallow surely audible. Everything was more-than-her-rent expensive. Plucking the one with the smallest numbers up, a transparent (okay maybe she had made a mistake here…) sapphire-blue blouse with colorful embroidered flowers, “This one is great,” she smiled at Veronica.
“Oh, excellent choice. Can’t go wrong with Derek Lam 10.”
She scrunched her nose up, fingering the material. Veronica had leant back against the seat, arms crossed expectantly. Betty glanced around to the car windows. “You want me to change here?”
“I expect you, too, yes.”
Betty sucked in a breath of courage and peeled off the stained sweater. Thankfully, her white (unlucky, she had decided) lacy bralette would be suitable underneath the barely-considered-a-shirt. She felt Veronica’s dark eyes on her, watching as she slipped the garment on over her head. Betty tugged it down gently, it only hit the top waist of her jeans.
Veronica reached out a hand to snap the price tag off, tossing it into the empty front seat. “There, oh you have to keep it, it looks perfect on you.”
The blonde smoothed a hand down her somewhat exposed stomach, wishing she were thinner or more toned. “Sure. Thanks, Veronica.”
“You’re quite welcome, darling. Nothing bores friendship quicker than the sharing of clothes and gossiping over boys. So one down, one to go.”
Betty couldn’t help the smile blooming across her face at Veronica’s words. She could use a friend. L.A. had been a lonely place the past two years, which did nothing to help her anxiety.
“Of course, I’m looking forward to it. We’ll be spending a lot of time together after all.”
The other girl smiled back, tucking glossy black hair behind her ear. “Indeed, we might as well make the best of it.” she paused, checking the fancy was fastened around her delicate wrist. “We are incredibly late now, darling. We had better hurry along before Toni sinks her teeth into us.”
Betty nodded, climbing out the car door as gracefully as she could with shaking hands. Veronica had saddled up to her side, linking their arms together as they walked. Feeling a burst of adoration for the girl Betty felt she had wrongly judged in the past (she grew up watching Disney channel, after all) she vowed not to judge any of the other actors based on the same principle.
The ease of being by Veronica’s side made her nerves calm until they were in front of the appropriate conference room door. A wicked smirk graced the raven-haired girl’s features and she disentangled their arms. A dainty platform heeled foot kicked the door in with surprising force for such a small girl.
It had Betty stepping back, hiding away from the doorframe a ways, eyes darting around the room and taking in the scene. It looks like they had already started the read through, and the ball of nerves in her stomach started to grow again.
She did not think it would ever leave her.
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tbc.
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note: Title comes from Shakespeare’s Henry V: “You have witchcraft in your lips, Kate. There is more eloquence in a sweet touch of them than in the tongues of the whole French council.” Chapter title comes from Mr. Jones by Counting Crows. 
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lilibug--xx · 7 years
Text
》you have witchcraft in your lips《
—famous!Bughead
When Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper were cast as leads for HBO’s Harry Potter prequel show Magic is Might, they thought they did not know each other. They were wrong.
note: this is a collaborative work between myself and @strix. I wrote Betty's’s POV and she Jughead’s. Be warned, we are each other’s betas, too. 
read it on ao3. 
“ A dress made of air and webs and you,
The wet dreams evaporate as they come true.
To anyone else just endless blue,
An invisible kite string connects me to you.”
— Pieces of Sky by Beth Orton.
CHAPTER ONE: mr jones and me, we’re gonna be big stars…
 @Variety: HBO picks up four pilot episodes, including Toni Topaz’s Harry Potter prequel project.
@Deadline: Up-and-coming musical director Kevin Keller branches off from theatre and confirms working on Harry Potter prequel series with HBO — Magic is Might.
@EntertainmentNews: BREAKING NEWS: Disney darling Veronica Lodge officially casted as one of the leads in Kevin Keller’s upcoming Marauders Era project — Magic is Might.
@Buzzfeed: You will not believe who was just confirmed to be cast in Magic is Might!
@CherryBombshell: To all my loyal, beautiful followers: Of course, I got the part. How could they not cast moi?
@NZHerald: Singer-songwriter Archie Andrews is rumoured to be involved with HBO’s Magic is Might.
@Deadline: Magic is Might Harry Potter prequel series finds its Sirius Black: “He walked in right off the street and I knew — that is our Sirius Black,” says showrunner, Kevin Keller.
@EntertainmentNews: HBO’s Magic is Might just cast its Remus Lupin, and it’s a very interesting choice.
@Buzzfeed: Magic is Might’s Remus Lupin is now — Remmy Lupin?!
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THE WAYWARD PRINCE:
The thing about Jughead Jones — he was weird, and he liked to be weird.
Jughead Jones was the following things: adroit wordsmith, razor-sharp, and a smart-mouthed asshole. He was not, however, the sort a teenage girl’s dreams were made of. He was a little too tall and a little too angular with a face that was a little too fond of scowling to be conventionally attractive. He had two girlfriends in the span of his entire life, and first one he’d acquired when he was nine for the span of two days. He was akin to a scalpel — sharp-edged, clinical, and very good at cutting people out of his life.
Except, Sabrina.
Never Sabrina.
And because of Sabrina — he was here, regretting everything.
“This,” Jughead grumbled for the nth time, “is all your fault.”
“Yes,” Sabrina agreed, throwing a dusky-blue button-down at him with a glare that clearly conveyed wear this or else, “it is my fault that you’ve landed the biggest television role of this year. I apologise for being magnificent.”
Jughead snorted. “Potter is the lead.”
“Who cares? Sirius is obviously meant to be the hot one. That makes his role the bigger fish. And you,” Sabrina said, tilting his head sideways and inspecting the carelessly casual style she arranged his hair in (read: brushed once and let it air-dry), “cousin-german, will soon be smiling from a poster on every pubescent girl’s wall and be the main feature in their dreams.”
“If it’s all the same to you,” Jughead’s scowl grew deeper, a feat he had not imagined was achievable before he’d done it. “I’d rather not.”
Two hours later, two thirds of which were spent navigating L.A.’s atrocious traffic, Jughead found himself lounging in a deceptively comfortable egg chair in a Hollywood studio, waiting to proceed with the first script reading session with the rest of Magic is Might cast. Sabrina, primly perched to his right, was scanning the others over the brim of her rapidly cooling coffee cup with shrewd, pale-grey eyes, as Jughead lazily thumbed through the script.
“Stop eyeing them like you want to wear their faces as a mask, Ree,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
“I am so not. I’m eyeing them like I want to make a fashionable skin suit, obviously. Get your facts straight, Jones.”
Here was the thing; — Jughead firmly believed that if you did something, you better put your best foot forward from the start; to do your very best at everything you undertook and not half-ass it simply because it required effort. (Life required effort, Jughead often reminded himself, if it didn’t it wouldn’t be so damn difficult.)
This stance seemed at odds with his disaffected and cynical slacker persona, but what could Jughead say — he was contrary like that. He could remain apathetic and be a pedantic perfectionist at heart; he had layers, like a lasagna.
But precisely that sort of attitude had landed him the lead role in Magic is Might as Sirius Black.
It had happened nine days ago, when Jughead had accompanied Sabrina to her second audition for Magic is Might — she had failed to get Lily Evans’s role and was trying out for Narcissa Black. Jughead was there for emotional support, for the sort of get your shit together, you walking waste of space pep-talks Sabrina and he excelled at. He was there to permit his hand to be crushed in a vice grip as she waited for her name to be called, and to take her to Wildflower Café by their apartment to gorge on breakfast foods and stuff their faces with toasted marshmallow milkshakes in the face of another disappointment.
Jughead Jones was, by profession, a screenwriter; he wrote seven plays, one of which had been actually made into a film. He was not an actor. The universe disagreed, however. Kevin fucking Keller disagreed, too, apparently, because the moment Jughead had walked up to a dumbfounded-looking Sabrina after her audition — handkerchief at the ready, just in case — he’d been spotted by Kevin fucking Keller’s eagle-eyed stare. Kevin fucking Keller who’d taken one look at Jughead, pointed his finger at him and with eyedrum piercing snap, barked out, “You, there — in here, now.” and Sabrina, that fucking traitor, had pushed him forward into the audition room.
It was serendipitous he knew the script like the back of his hand, having practiced with Sabrina until they were blue in the face, it was also fortuitous his reaction in the face of sheer audacity was to fall back on his most defining traits — sarcasm and generally all-around fuck-you attitude.
Both, as it had turned out, were great characteristics for one Sirius Black.
So here he was, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third, newly minted actor extraordinaire with no education about the craft and enough talent, according to Keller, to fill the Pacific ocean and then some — out of his depth, and feeling utterly displaced.
It was a peculiar feeling, foreign and unwelcome — Jughead hated it with the blazing ebullition of pure abhorrence.
“Hey,” Sabrina called, soft as a whisper, placing her hand on his knee, stilling it. Jughead hadn’t realised his left leg had been bouncing. “Relax, bro-bro.”
Jughead opened his mouth to reply something along the lines of Shut it, hambone, but was interrupted when a tall shadow of a small person fell across his lap.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mad Max himself,” commented a small, red-headed girl on berry-red charged murder-weapons on the lam from the law and thus posing as women’s footwear. “So, tall, dark, and inexperienced, how does it feel to finally be in the real show biz?”
There was a refractory set to Jughead’s clenched jaw, so Sabrina answered in his stead, snickering, “I don’t know Big Red, you tell us?”
The girl’s exceedingly red mouth was reset out of its perpetually sullen pout into a grimace of distaste. “For a virtual nobody, you sure have a mouth on you, Emily Strange.”
There were four rules Jughead Jones instinctively followed whenever he chose to speak: Was he being rational? Was he being truthful? Were his words necessary? Were they kind? Often times, if he had not met all of his criteria, Jughead would settle on keeping his silence a while longer.
This, was not such a time.
“Is that all you can do,” Jughead found himself rasping out, “try your utmost to diss people with painfully obvious references? You’re not doing a very good job, are you?”
“You’re a pretty cool customer, huh?”
“I hide my inner pain underneath a stoic visage,” Jughead quipped. Cheryl Blossom looked like would like nothing more than to dig her claws red-tipped into Jughead’s stoic visage.
“Hey, guys,” said a guy in corduroy slacks and a blue-yellow varsity jacket of all things; he was average-height, but with a Heroic Build identifying him as James Potter material. There was a hint of admonishment in his tone, but not enough to reign anyone in. “We’re supposed to be getting along…”
Jughead was utterly unsurprised when he was promptly ignored.
Big Red sneered down on them and with a snazzy flip of gloriously red hair, pointedly perched on the corner of the oval table. Then, she extended a bedazzled with a shape of a cherry phone Jughead didn’t realise she held in front of her on a selfie-stick, and with that godawful pout, began, “See, my lovely cherries, when presented with a choice between either Tim Burton Junior and his blonde Fran Bow or a ginger Kelly Clarkson, Cheryl Bombshell has no choice but to choose herself. I certainly hope their acting is better than their personalities because those are as parched as a dry spell.”
“Oi, Cherry Bomb!” a female producer barked sharply, the one with pink-striped hair and a punk attitude, “don’t fucking live blog a closed script reading, you imbecile!”
“Don’t call me that!” Cheryl Blossom snarled, teeth unnaturally white against the vivid red of her mouth. “How are my cherries supposed to know what I’m doing at any given moment if I don’t blog about it?”
“I don’t know,” Jughead grumbled, too low to be heard by anyone but Sabrina, who promptly elbowed him in the ribs, “maybe try not to seek validation from a faceless mass of people online?” said the kettle to the pot, he mentally added.
The woman with the pink hair was even shorter than Cheryl, but when she stood up, she cut an impressively intimidating figure nonetheless. “This,” she growled, “is what we get for casting a bloody Instagram starlet.”
“She’s a solid choice, Toni,” Keller admonished, softly, gingerly prying away her fingers off his bicep, “she can act and her hair is iconic. What more could we ask for?”
“A fucking professional attitude for one. And maybe,” Topaz, that was her name, Jughead finally remembered, pointedly shouted in red-head’s direction, “not to always pout like she’s about to suck dick.”
Cheryl Blossom looked up from the highly-focused examination of her razor-sharp talons she’d been performing and pouted. “I don’t suck dick on sheer principle, you grotsky little byotch.”
Varsity Jacket raised his hands in placation. “Okay, seriously, maybe you should—”
“Toni, go smoke a fag and find your chill,” cut in Keller, and her hand immediately shot up, giving him the middle finger, but she left the room nonetheless. “And Cheryl, take it down a notch. I’m serious, you hear me?”
Cheryl turned away from him with a huff, but she hadn’t said anything. Instead, she began typing away furiously on her phone.
Huh, thought Jughead.
Kevin Keller was not a tough guy, he noticed, he did not have a commanding presence. Even Varsity Jacket drew more attention to himself with his ridiculous floppy hair, freckled face, and All-American attitude. But, Jughead decided, Kevin Keller understood women. With that in mind, Jughead settled back in his chair, reading over the script yet again.
It was fifteen minutes later when Toni Topaz strode into the room, her combat boots practically abusing the dotted, grey linoleum with the force of her steps, not looking an iota less stressed. “Fuck it,” she announced, “if we wait anymore for those two, we’ll get behind schedule.”
“All right, then,” Keller said, clapping his hands, “places, everyone.”
Like the asshole she was, Sabrina took the seat assigned to him, next to Varsity Jacket, and switched their name planks with a wink. Jughead had neither the inclination nor the naiveté to question her choices, so he dragged the chair he had been sitting for the last half-an-hour towards the table by its back, and positioned himself on Sabrina’s left, straightening the SIRIUS BLACK plaque so it was uniformly aligned with all the others.
The plague before a lounging Cheryl Blossom did not read BITCH FROM HELL, much to Jughead’s surprise, instead, it said — LILY EVANS.
A thought streaked across the forefront of his mind: We are all royally fucked.
Varsity Jacket’s named turned out to be Archie Andrews. Jughead knew that now because the first words out of that kid’s mouth were, quite literally, “Hey, there. I’m Archie Andrews, I’m eighteen, you may know me from last year’s 16 Birthday Wishes, and I look forward to working with ya all.”
Jughead could not have conjured this kid up had he even tried. He shared a concerned glance with Sabrina who mouthed, is he for real? and Jughead only had the energy to shrug. Yeah, he decided, he could see this Archie Andrews as one James Potter. If he squinted.
Cheryl Blossom did not introduce herself. She scowled at all of them, even poor golden retriever puppy personified Andrews, called them philistines, and proceeded with reading her lines. Interesting development: she could act. Expected conclusion: she packed too much malice into her lines and came of ass passive aggressive. Keller had to intermediately correct her. That was, however, a correctable quality she could redeem herself from with enough effort; or so Sabrina had said, Jughead’s inescapable, little-devil-on-the-shoulder-type expert on all things acting™.  
When it was his turn to read, Jughead did what he always did when he read out loud his scripts during editing: tried his damndest not to stutter, keeping his voice smooth and even, and detached himself from the situation, rendering himself utterly impervious to nerves and apprehension. It was not Jughead Jones who had been reciting the script from memory as the lines printed on paper streamed before his eyes in a confusing, maddening swirl — it had been Sirius Black doing all those things; teasing his friend James, flirting with prim and proper Lily, arguing with Narcissa.
Disassociating might have kept Jughead’s anxiety at bay, but it made Sirius Black come alive.
So, of course, once Jughead had gotten into the swing of things, the universe rained on his parade: the door slammed open, revealing two girls standing on the other side of its frame.
“Oooops,” said the shorter one, her dark hair reflecting light attractively as she stode in the room. She had not sounded particularly sorry, Jughead noticed. “Apologies, hadn’t meant to barge in quite so—”
“Veronica,” Toni cut in, as bitingly as a wolf, “you were supposed to be here half-an-hour ago!”
“That late, huh,” muttered Veronica assumingly Lodge, flipping her wrist to check the slim, diamond-encrusted watch on her left hand. “Apologies, Toni, darling, but L.A. traffic is simply odious, as you well know. Got held up.”
“By what — appearance of abominable snowman in the middle of Franklin Avenue?”
“Not quite,” Veronica replied, a sly not-quite smile settling on her face, “Betty and I—”
“Of course, you had hamstrung Cooper, too.” Toni cast a dirty look over Veronica’s shoulder at a willowy, nervous-looking blonde still hesitating in the doorway. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you there, princess.”
“Well, as I was saying, Betty and I,” continued Veronica Lodge, bulldozing over Toni completely and out of the corner of his eye, Jughead could see Call Me, Archie Andrews’s jaw unhinge a little, “were late completely by accident, but it was all my fault. Let’s just say, a Lodge doesn’t always land on their feet.
“Still, I had to amend such an insufferable grievance,” Veronica smiled, charmingly, still sly as a fox. “Imagine how tickled pink I was to learn we are not only headed into the same building, but for the same script reading—”
“To which you are late; both of you,” grumbled Toni, but she seemed to have lost most of her heat. Kevin was rubbing her shoulders soothingly as she massaged her temples. Momentarily, Jughead wondered if she was prematurely grey beneath all that pink dye.
“—long story, short: Betty here,” Veronica said, stepping back and drawing the taller girl into her side. “Is my new BFF and I love her to pieces.”
“From a five minute meeting,” Kevin asked, corner of his mouth twitching.
“Boo, you whore,” teased Veronica, earning an unexpect snort from Sabrina, “it’s love at first sight. Don’t judge.” Then:
“You there,” Veronica snapped her fingers in the direction of a fish-eyed assistant Jughead took care to ignore — she’d been making moon-eyes at him, according to Sabrina, and there were times to be wary of his cousin’s advice, but not in instances such as this one. “Fetch me a skinny venti white mocha, one shot, with two pumps of sugarfree vanilla, no whip — pronto. I can’t think clearly without my daily recommended injection of sugar and caffeine.”
Immediately, the situation dissolved into absolute bedlam as everyone clamoured for Ginger’s attention to place their coffee order, too. She’s a sly one, Jughead thought for the third time, smart, too.
Here was the thing about Jughead Jones: he was an objective observer of life, not an active participator. An introvert and a borderline misanthrope, he regarded the world from a safe distance of cool, clinical detachment — he watched and he recorded and he understood because he noticed enough to pay attention in the first place; he was perceptive, and he used this to his advantage. 
This girl, however, totally threw him for a loop.
And as if enticed by a magnetic pull, Jughead’s eyes drifted towards the leggy blonde to his right. The first thing he noticed her was this — she was uncomfortable. The second was that she was seemed nervous, displaced; and third — well, she was making her way towards him.
The girl was dressed in a diaphanous, intricately embroidered, sapphire-coloured blouse, and when she shifted to pull out her chair, Jughead could see her laced brassiere through the silk material. Unexpectedly, she sat next to him, across from a plaque reading REMMY LUPIN. She had a striking look — blue-eyed and golden-haired with a face like a porcelain doll’s; wide-eyed, lovely, and haunting in its stillness. I met a lady on a moore, Jughead though, aureate hair, refulgent eyes; a dancing, starry sprite.
“Hi,” she greeted, turning to him, face splitting into a blooming, honeyed smile, white teeth gleaming, the streaming sunlight from the window behind them set her braid into a molten blaze, “I’m Betty.”
.
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THE DREAMER:
“Three creams, two splenda, please.”
Betty Cooper was already running (hopefully, fashionably) late; not exactly a good first impression. She had woken up behind schedule (she had sort of fallen into the black hole that was Tumblr, recently, and had taken to staying up late); her cat, Caramel, had thrown up all over the kitchen floor. One side of her hair had dried flatter than the other — she was never going to bed straight from the shower ever again. And her uber had been running behind. Fantastic, she had uttered when finally arriving at the address given. The time on her phone alerting her that she should would have been inside already, had her morning gone accordingly, sipping on her coffee without a care in the world.
Well, that last bit was a stretch. If you asked anyone who knew her, they would say without a doubt that, Betty Cooper cared too much, about everything.
It was kind of her thing, though. Betty had a profound sense of perseverance and applied it to anyone in need of help that she came across. Polly (her older sister and recently, albeit somewhat regrettably, her manager) akined it to her being like a new mother, babying her fresh-faced ducklings. It often impeded her own desires and well-thought out plans.
Betty was a goner for a schedule. She could plan her day like nobody’s business — rarely did it ever actually go according to plan though. She would describe herself as being meticulous bordering the edge of perfectionist — Betty actually detested that word. Being in control of the situation, however, gave her life.
This was all new to her though, at least, fairly. Acting, that is.
She had been on edge of booking a flight back to San Francisco for what seemed like months. With only $200 to her name, and a can of cold soup sitting like a rock in her belly, Betty had auditioned for a role in Magic is Might. She had been failing auditions for months, her savings account was gone, and she was exhausted from working two menial jobs in order to have money to even go to auditions.
So, by all accounts, Betty figured an extra boost of caffeine was in order to make it through the whirlwind day that had been plotted ahead. A table read with her cast mates of Magic is Might, who she had yet to meet, was slotted for the whole day. As well as some promotional pictures of the group. The whole thing came together rather quickly for an HBO show, as she understood. Betty would be forever grateful that they hadn’t found anyone for the part of Remus Lupin yet.
Somehow, her name had been misspelled (she wanted to glare at Polly) and they thought it had said Elizander, on her papers. Whoever had been manning the audition hadn’t done a thorough look-through at the time and had barely looked up at her, just shooed her through the door. They seemed desperate.
To be fair, she hadn’t realized that the part of Remus was male. Of course, she had read the Harry Potter books, who hasn’t? But Polly had simply implored her to get her ass to this audition, without much else to go on.
Everyone had stared at her when she entered the room, but the guy in the middle of the group seated before her had stood up, planting his hands on the table with a loud smack.
“Excuse me, this isn’t —”
“No, excuse me, but that was incredibly rude.” A blush bloomed across her chest, streaking upwards, despite her outward display of confidence. “I’m here to audition, so let me audition before turning me away.”
It turns out that the man was Kevin Keller, one of the showrunners. Betty had desperately wanted to curl into a ball from mortification when she found out, but instead she had been engulfed in a hug while he had exclaimed “Such fire!”, and had let her do the audition.  
They had complimented her afterwards. Apparently she had an inner voice that matched Remus’s suppressed darkness à la werewolf unequivocally. They were going to change the character and rework the script for her. Betty was unperturbed usually, but she had been floored by their sentiments.
Now, granted, they had done the same thing for the character of Snape, but that was for Veronica Lodge — ex-disney starlet who had bowed out of the limelight for several years only to return and turn everyone’s heads when she demanded the part of Severus Snape.
Betty mussed her life was going to be very different from here on out (assuming the show gets picked up after the contingent episodes), but she was looking forward to not cringing every time they ran her card through a register. She loved food, and coffee was a vice she wasn’t willing to give up.
In L.A. there seemed to be a Starbucks on just about every godforsaken block, so she had been thankful there was one conveniently close to the building she was now ardently walking toward. Betty was practically jogging as she took a sip of her drink, the mouthful of cold coffee was sweet and creamy. It was really refreshing — had she not just spilled it all over her shirt when someone plowed into her shoulder, jarring the cup from her hand.
Betty had stood frozen in place, her muscles turning tense as she panicked. Of course she had worn her favorite outfit today. Her pale pink sweater was now sticking to her skin uncomfortably, but thankfully there were only a few drops on her jeans — the dark color of them would prevent a stain from being noticeable, but her sweater…
“Oh my god, fuck, I am so sorry.”
Betty looked up from where she was still staring at her coffee soaked front, hand crushing the now empty cup. She blinked owlishly at the girl who had spoken. A dark haired girl with an equally empty cup, however stain free clothes — impeccable, by the way, in front of her. Small hands covered in white lace gloves (really? The urge to roll her eyes was strong) were reaching out for her and grabbing hold of her arm, gently albeit forcefully. Betty had no choice but to be tugged along and out of the path of the ravenous L.A. goers on the sidewalk.
“It’s… fine, really,” Betty hadn’t wanted to use the word, but there wasn’t anything else on the tip of her tongue. “I’m running late to my read through anyway, I should —”
Veronica interrupted her, raising her impeccably arched brows even higher. “Read through? As in, script?”
Nodding, Betty looked up to the tall glass front building they were almost in front of. She had been so close…
“Well, I think we’re headed to the same place then. Veronica Lodge,” the raven haired girl extended her glove covered hand and Betty raised her hand that wasn’t a sticky mess to shake it. Veronica continued, “pleasure to meet you…” she trailed off and Betty interjected.
“Betty Cooper.”
“Betty, allow me to offer you a new blouse, I simply can’t let you in there like that.”
Betty had started to shake her head, fingers itching to reach up and tighten her ponytail, but alas, she realized, she had worn her hair in a loose braid that brushed the edges of her collarbone. “No, that’s okay, you don’t have to do that.” she waved a hand, tossing her empty cup into the trash bin they had stopped by.
“I insist. Come,” it wasn’t up for debate anymore, that white glove grabbing Betty’s wrist again and pulling her toward a sleek black car that was parked some spaces down. “Don’t worry about being late, if we both are then they really can’t do anything about it.“
Betty was surprised that the words didn’t sound pretentious coming from the other girls mouth, but humble. Veronica had pulled her inside the car, instructing her to pull the door closed. She hesitated before doing so, the door shutting with a soft click. She never thought being in a car alone with Veronica Lodge would ever be on her agenda, but here she was, with a collection of delicate tops spread over their laps that were distinctly not at all Betty’s style.
But beggars couldn’t be choosers.
Her green-blue eyes examined the choices carefully, taking in the price tags still dangling from them. Her throat was dry, her swallow surely audible. Everything was more-than-her-rent expensive. Plucking the one with the smallest numbers up, a transparent (okay maybe she had made a mistake here…) sapphire-blue blouse with colorful embroidered flowers, “This one is great,” she smiled at Veronica.
“Oh, excellent choice. Can’t go wrong with Derek Lam 10.”
She scrunched her nose up, fingering the material. Veronica had leant back against the seat, arms crossed expectantly. Betty glanced around to the car windows. “You want me to change here?”
“I expect you too, yes.”
Betty sucked in a breath of courage and peeled off the stained sweater. Thankfully, her white (unlucky, she had decided) lacy bralette would be suitable underneath the barely-considered-a-shirt. She felt Veronica’s dark eyes on her, watching as she slipped the garment on over her head. Betty tugged it down gently, it only hit the top waist of her jeans.
Veronica reached out a hand to snap the price tag off, tossing it into the empty front seat. “There, oh you have to keep it, it looks perfect on you.”
The blonde smoothed a hand down her somewhat exposed stomach, wishing she were thinner or more toned. “Sure. Thanks, Veronica.”
“You’re quite welcome, darling. Nothing bores friendship quicker than the sharing of clothes and gossiping over boys. So one down, one to go.”
Betty couldn’t help the smile blooming across her face at Veronica’s words. She could use a friend. L.A. had been a lonely place the past two years, which did nothing to help her anxiety.
“Of course, I’m looking forward to it. We’ll be spending a lot of time together after all.”
The other girl smiled back, tucking glossy black hair behind her ear. “Indeed, we might as well make the best of it.” she paused, checking the fancy was fastened around her delicate wrist. “We are incredibly late now, darling. We had better hurry along before Toni sinks her teeth into us.”
Betty nodded, climbing out the car door as gracefully as she could with shaking hands. Veronica had saddled up to her side, linking their arms together as they walked. Feeling a burst of adoration for the girl Betty felt she had wrongly judged in the past (she grew up watching Disney channel, after all) she vowed not to judge any of the other actors based on the same principle.
The ease of being by Veronica’s side made her nerves calm until they were in front of the appropriate conference room door. A wicked smirk graced the raven-haired girl’s features and she disentangled their arms. A dainty platform heeled foot kicked the door in with surprising force for such a small girl.
It had Betty stepping back, hiding away from the doorframe a ways, eyes darting around the room and taking in the scene. It looks like they had already started the read through, and the ball of nerves in her stomach started to grow again.
She did not think it would ever leave her.
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tbc.
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64 notes · View notes
aion-rsa · 4 years
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New Christmas Movies to Stream: A Holiday 2020 Streaming Guide
https://ift.tt/3fD2QHM
It’s the holiday season again. Thank goodness. After what has been a particularly difficult year, a little seasonal cheer has never felt more comforting or needed, even if the smiles need to be hidden behind  Christmas themed masks.
There’s never been a better time to curl up with a good Christmas movie on the streaming service of your choice. Of course that includes all of your favorite Christmas classics, which we’ve rounded up a schedule guide for here, but it also means a chance to try something new. Netflix has already gotten a hardy start to the holiday season, and yet more streaming carolers are headed for your door. So without further ado here is a guide to the new streaming presents waiting to be unwrapped.
Angela’s Christmas Wish
Available on Netflix on December 1
Certainly a Christmas movie meant for younger families, Netflix’s upcoming animated film, Angela’s Christmas Wish, promises gentle Yuletide cheer for all-ages. With computer-generated imagery, this film is a sequel to Angela’s Christmas. Like the earlier film, it’s set in the town of Limerick, Ireland at the turn of the 20th century. There Angela is desperate to be reunited with her father for Christmas. Unfortunately, Da’s in Australia. So her first notion is to travel Down Under for the holidays. When that doesn’t work, her next choice is to wish very hard…
The Christmas Chronicles 2
Available now on Netflix
Santa Claus never looked as cool as when Kurt Russell slipped into the red furs with The Christmas Chronicles, a mini-holiday event on Netflix. And with the much anticipated sequel, the man who once was Snake Plissken is bringing real holiday firepower back to the Christmas hearth.
Read more
Movies
New Netflix Christmas Movies in 2020 Ranked from Best to Worst
By Delia Harrington
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Christmas Movies on Disney+ Streaming Guide
By David Crow
For starters Goldie Hawn reprises the role of Mrs. Claus in The Christmas Chronicles 2, but this time as more than a cameo. In fact, the whole film is set in the North Pole with Santa’s workshop never looking so grandiose in its Dickensian cheer—at least until Hunt for the Wilderpeople’s Julian Dennison tries to steal its Christmas magic! A sincere Yuletide epic, this is the first Christmas movie Chris Columbus has made since helming the original two Harry Potter movies. Before that? He directed the all-time classic Home Alone and wrote Gremlins. Will he finally  give Santa’s workshop the Hogwarts treatment?
Dear Santa
Available on VOD on December 4
After helming the sweet and heartfelt documentary, Batkid Begins: The Wish Heard Around the World, filmmaker Dana Nachman returns with this all-ages doc for the holidays. Dear Santa shines a bright light on one of the noblest duties of the U.S. Postal Service, which USPS has been executing for more than a century. With “Operation Santa,” the letters and Christmas wishes of thousands of children from around the country are gathered and sorted—and a lucky number are then answered by Santa’s helpers at the Post Office.
From Small Town, USA to Operation Santa’s ambitious outreach in New York City, Dear Santa might offer some much needed unity and happy tidings this holiday season.
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
Available now on Netflix
Dolly Parton is amazing, isn’t she? Just this year, she may save us all as one of the key sponsors of a COVID-19 vaccine that is showing significant promise. And in addition to sponsoring coronavirus research and being an absolute delight, this national treasure still found time to star in and write the songs for Christmas on the Square, another all-original Netflix Christmas movie musical.
The film is a bit of a Christmas Carol parable with Christina Baranski being a real Scrooge: She plays a woman who is going to sell her entire small town and evict all her neighbors on Christmas Eve. But with a little musical cheer and divine help from an angel—played by Dolly Parton, of course—she’s going to learn it’s a very Dolly Holiday, after all!
Fatman
Available now on VOD
Even Santa Claus has his limits. And they begin with threats on his life. That’s the amusing premise of Eshom and Ian Nelms’ dark comedic take on the Santa Claus legend. Essentially trying to ground Santa in the same type of earthy nihilism that James Mangold brought to Logan, or Clint Eastwood infused into his own onscreen legend via Unforgiven, Fatman stars Mel Gibson as Chris Kringle, a man at the end of his rope.
He’s over the hill and exhausted about the loss of Christmas Spirit in today’s youth. Worst of all, some snot-nosed kid he gave a piece of coal to has hired a hitman (Walton Goggins) to take him out. Essentially a Western in the North Pole, and a violent one at that, Fatman is amusing because of how straight it plays its nonsense. Definitely not for everyone, we’re sure this film will find its niche by the time of Chris’ big night.
Happiest Season
Available now on Hulu
A true crowd-pleaser, Clea Duvall’s Happiest Season is the type of holiday movie most filmmakers hope they’re lucky enough to make. As a story about family, love, and tinsel, this is an old-fashioned Christmas romantic comedy with a modern twist: It’s the love story of Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis).
In the film, Abby is going home for the holidays with Harper for the first time to meet her family, which includes a stiff WASPy patriarch running for mayor, Ted (Victor Garber). He and Mom (Mary Steenburgen) are happy to meet their daughter’s roommate… but they know her only as a roommate. Harper passed for straight her whole childhood and still won’t come out of the closet now with her father’s political career potentially on the line. Festive holiday cheer and familial anxiety abound in equal measure.
Read more
Movies
Fatman: Why Mel Gibson Found Christmas Spirit at the End of a Gun
By David Crow
TV
100 Best Christmas TV Episodes of All Time
By Wesley Mead
Our own Natalie Zutter said of the movie: “That tension will be familiar to all who have weathered past holiday seasons, while the comfort of a happy ending is a much-needed panacea. You’ll want to spend every future Christmas with Abby, Harper, and DuVall.”
Holidate
Available now on Netflix
Like all romantic comedy subgenres, the Christmas rom-com has been underserved in the last decade. Once a reliable staple of any multiplex diet, it could produce fleeting entertainments like The Holiday or genuine all-time classics like Love Actually.
Holidate will not be mistaken for a classic by anyone. It’s a film that gets by a lot on the general charms of stars Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey, as well as the ability to indulge an R-rated vocabulary in its humor. Otherwise, it’s a pretty standard rom-com setup with both Sloane (Roberts) and Jackson (Bracey) being ridiculously beautiful people who just can’t find a date for Christmas. So they decide to pretend to be a couple to appease each’s family by going on “holidates.” Guess what happens next?
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
Available now on Netflix
John Legend and Philip Lawrence wrote the songs to this all-original Christmas musical. Let’s repeat that. John Legend, the Grammy winning singer and songwriter behind “All of Me” and “Glory,” and Philip Lawrence, another Grammy winning songwriter partially behind hits like “Grenade” and “Marry You,” wrote the songs for a Christmas musical.
Read more
TV
Is A Muppet Family Christmas the Best Holiday Special Ever?
By Wil Jones
Movies
The Best Christmas Movie Soundtracks of All Time
By Ivan Radford
To top it all off, the film stars Forest Whitaker as Jeronicus Jangle, a toymaker who has just finished his masterpiece: a sentient doll that will change Christmas forever. There’s also a dastardly Keegan-Michael Key as a rival toymaker who wishes to steal the toy, but the point is it’s a Christmas musical with ear worms for days. What are you waiting for?
Operation Christmas Drop
Available now on Netflix
Operation Christmas Drop is a real procedure that is one of the most remarkable (and remarkably overlooked) performed by the U.S. Air Force. With cooperation with local authorities in Guam, the American military drops medicine, food, and toys over multiple islands across Micronesia, bringing Christmas to tens of thousands of people each year. And this event is finally getting recognized as the setting for a lovely Christmas comedy that it is.
In Operation Christmas Drop, the Netflix movie, Kat Graham plays Erica, a congressional aide who has come to the islands looking for a promotion, and perhaps unwisely toward a future as a Grinch. She’s here to determine if Operation Christmas Drop is money Congress no longer needs to allocate. But with the help of a dreamy smile from an Air Force captain, and a little Yuletide adventure, she might just discover Christmas miracles really do come from the sky. 
The Princess Switched, Switched Again
Available now on Netflix
Remember The Princess Switch from two years ago? It’s the one where Vanessa Hudgens plays both a small town American girl and a European royal who, as luck would have it, are complete doppelgangers. And they switch places just in time for the holidays! Either you recall it or you don’t, and if you do we’ve got good news: They made a sequel!!!
Read more
Movies
Inside Pixar’s Soul and the Secrets of Life Before Death
By Don Kaye
Movies
A Christmas Carol: the best and worst adaptations
By Robert Keeling
In the follow-up, the princess and small town gal switch places again during the holiday season. But wait, there’s more! Lady Margaret (Hudgens) also has an evil cousin named Fiona who looks pretty familiar (she’s also played by Hudgens)… and who switches places again with the princess who is not in fact a princess. Surely Santa won’t be the only one confused by all these hijinks come Christmas Eve.
Soul
Available on Disney+ on December 25
While technically not a movie about Christmas, we can’t imagine a more festive film for the actual 25th than Pixar’s long-awaited Soul. A new film co-directed by Pete Docter (Inside Out, Up), Soul is Pixar’s most ambitious film since Coco and a real emotional stunner.
In the movie, Jamie Foxx voices a guy named Joe, a jazz musician who finally gets his big break… and then falls down a manhole. Seemingly sent to the other side, Joe’s not ready to go toward the light and instead ends up taking another soul under his wing… literally since 22 (Tina Fey) is a soul who’s never lived, nor has any desire to do so until Joe teaches her the magic of jazz, pizza, and, well, living. It’s sweet, surprising, and more than its marketing suggests…
Captain Underpants: Mega Blissmas
Available on Netflix on December 4
Technically more of a “Christmas special” than a Christmas movie, Captain Underpants: Mega Blissmas appears just too blissful to ignore. Based on the mega popular Captain Underpants children’s books by Dav Pilkey, this Netflix special follows George and Harold’s misguided attempts to make Christmas “Blissmas,” a period of supreme satisfaction for everyone… but perhaps with too much selfishness. Can Captain Underpants save the day? Do you have to ask?
Also coming to streaming:
Mighty Express: A Mighty Christmas (Netflix, Dec. 4)
Super Monsters: Santa’s Super Monster Helpers (Netflix, Dec. 8)A Trash Truck Christmas (Netflix, Dec. 11)
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cathygeha · 4 years
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LIBERATION THROUGH HEARING 
RICHARD RUSSELL
 2 APRIL 2020 | HARDBACK, EBOOK, AUDIO | £20 | White Rabbit
A spiritual journey through music by the Mercury Prize nominated musician and the man behind some of the world’s biggest recording artists including Adele, Dizzee Rascal and The Prodigy
For almost 30 years as a musician, producer, label boss and talent conductor at XL Recordings, Richard Russell has discovered, shaped and nurtured the artists who have rewritten the musical dictionary of the 21st century, artists like The Prodigy, Adele, M.I.A., Dizzee Rascal and Giggs. Growing up in north London in thrall to the raw energy of 80s US hip hop, Russell emerged as one part of rave outfit Kicks Like A Mule in 1991 at a moment when new technology enabled a truly punk spirit on the fledgling dance scene. Initially identified in the early 90s with breakbeat and hardcore before embracing a broader musical aesthetic, Russell’s stewardship of the label was always uncompromising and open to radical influences rather than conventional business decisions.
Released in April 2020 via White Rabbit, Liberation Through Hearing sees Richard Russell telling the remarkable story of XL Recordings and their three decades on the frontline of innovation in music; the eclectic chorus of artists who came to define the label’s unique aesthetic, and Russell’s own story; his highs and lows steering the fortunes of an independent label in a rapidly changing industry, his celebrated production work with Bobby Womack and Gil Scott-Heron on their late-career masterpieces and his own development as an artist as Everything Is Recorded.
Always searching for news sounds and new truths, Liberation Through Hearing is a portrait of a man who believes in the spiritual power of music to change reality. It is also the story of a record label that refused to be categorised by genre and in the process cut an idiosyncratic groove which was often underground in feel but mainstream in impact.
RICHARD RUSSELL SAID: ‘Writing this book was an opportunity for me to reflect on the last few decades. I hope people will get something from it. I’ve tried not to compromise in anything I’ve done, and that includes writing Liberation Through Hearing.’
LEE BRACKSTONE SAID: ‘To have any understanding of the music that has soundtracked the past three decades you need to read this book. Liberation Through Hearing documents Richard Russell’s investment in the great artists who defined rap, rave and all its infinite tributaries with a piercing honesty.’
EXCERPT
PRELUDE 1
SALFORD, 17 APRIL 2019
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It’s an overcast early spring afternoon. I’m in a recording studio on an industrial estate on the outskirts of Manchester. I’ve been here for an hour. It would have been hard to locate but I was collected at Manchester Piccadilly by a professional who had researched the destination and got us here easily. He used to drive Keith Flint during The Prodigy’s UK tours, and having picked me up we spent the short journey reminiscing about Keith, who passed away less than a month ago, at the age of forty-nine.
I arrive in a sombre mood. There are three musicians here. A man known as CASisDEAD has just arrived from a stopover in Nottingham. He is the most idiosyncratic, articulate and fluent British rap lyricist I have heard since Dizzee Rascal emerged from Bow E3 in 2002. CAS’s themes are typically the underbelly of street life, drug sales and sex work. In the first really classic song he has made, ‘Pat Earrings’, he tells the apparently heartfelt and melancholy story of his ill-fated relationship with a prostitute. At the conclusion of the song, he finds she has continued to see clients despite telling him she has stopped. ‘Heartbroken, I’m at wits’ end / She’s never accepted by my friends / That’s cool ’cause I never liked them’. The narrator is bereft.
As is often the case with those who make disturbing art he seems a person of integrity. Those in the public eye who go out of their way to seem benevolent, the supposedly squeaky-clean ones, are the ones to beware of. Nasty pretends to be nice, and vice versa. CAS has his face covered at all times when in public. Oscar Wilde said, ‘Give a man a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.’ CAS has a taste for the analogue synthesiser sounds of the 1980s, music that soundtracked my youth and was popular around the time he was born.
I have programmed my Roland TR-808 drum machine in order to echo the feeling of the year that the machine was first released: 1980.
This item is my favourite material possession. Its sounds and groove have been enjoying a renaissance in popularity since the James Brown samples of classic East Coast hip-hop made way for the more electronic palette that was being used by rap artists from the South. Its distinct sonic character is still a crucial part of the hip-hop production landscape.
Drums are only part of the story. In creating music for this session, I have enlisted someone who not only has the ability to craft unforgettable melodies but owns a collection of the vintage analogue synthesisers necessary to sonically execute this job properly. He sits behind one of these while his daughter Missy and his best friend Remi potter around. His name is Damon Albarn and, as frontman of Blur, mastermind behind virtual band Gorillaz and all-round musical polymath, he has scaled every imaginable height of creative and commercial success.
Damon and I are both fortunate to have benefited enough from our musical endeavours to each have our own first-class recording facilities in west London. We are in this particular location because of the third musician. We want him to record a hook for the song and this is where he wished to do it. He possesses a deep, deep soul voice that evokes not just the specific time we wish to reference, the mid-eighties, but the theme CAS wants to explore in this song, which is intended for his debut album, for release on XL Recordings.
This theme is the ephemeral nature of fame. The song is to be called ‘Everything’s For Sale’. It may become a worldwide hit. Or it may never be released, or even completed. At this formative stage of the creative process uncertainty is a given.
This third musician’s name is Alexander O’Neal, and he is a sixty-fiveyear-old former Prince associate from Natchez, Mississippi, by way of Minneapolis, where he was the original lead singer for The Time, before making three solo albums with legendarily great production and writing duo, and fellow Prince acolytes, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. These albums were quite successful in the US, but in the UK he became a huge crossover pop star, scoring Top 10 singles with his songs ‘Criticise’, ‘If You Were Here Tonight’, and his duet with Cherrelle, ‘Saturday Love’. His second album, Hearsay, went triple platinum in the UK, and he sold out three consecutive nights at Wembley Arena.
His appetites were always legendary. Along with most other eighties success stories, his star faded through the nineties. With each new decade music changes irrevocably and only a tiny number of musicians can transcend the decade they found fame in. In recent times Alexander has appeared on reality TV programmes Just the Two of Us, Wife Swap and Celebrity Big Brother.
When CAS gave me a list of the eighties voices he wished to try to feature on his album, I knew that Alexander O’Neal was the one to pursue. My guess was that we would find him in LA, perhaps living near the airport, but it turns out he lives in Manchester.
We’re here to capture the voice of this weathered soul survivor, and prior to the session he has been supplied with a map in the form of a recording, a guide version of the song that Damon, CAS and I made in London. Our preparation and planning have been exemplary and, while I have experienced enough ‘best laid plans’ scenarios to know that nothing is ever guaranteed, an hour into the session we have a heartbreakingly soulful performance from Alexander O’Neal on our hard drive. CAS says to me that it is important to absorb moments like this. I agree. I have had many of them but they always feel dreamlike. Alexander says he needs to buy a bed, inexplicably, and with that he is gone
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ABOUT RICHARD RUSSELL
Richard Russell (b. 1971) is a British record producer, musician and the owner of the British record label XL Recordings. He has nurtured and guided some of the most influential recording artists of our time including Adele, Dizzee Rascal, The Prodigy, M.I.A. and Giggs. As a producer and musician, Russell has made albums with the likes of Gil Scott-Heron, Bobby Womack, Damon Albarn and Ibeyi and most recently launched his own artist project Everything Is Recorded, whose self-titled debut album was nominated for the 2018 Mercury Music Prize.
ABOUT XL RECORDINGS
XL Recordings is a British independent record label founded in 1989. Widely regarded as one of the most influential labels, XL releases on average just six albums a year and has worked with artists such as Adele, Arca, Beck, Dizzee Rascal, FKA twigs, Gil Scott-Heron, Giggs, The Horrors, Jai Paul, Jungle, Kamasi Washington, King Krule, M.I.A., Nines, The Prodigy, Peaches, Radiohead, Sampha, SBTRKT, Sigur Rós, Tyler, the Creator, Vampire Weekend, The White Stripes, and The xx.
ABOUT WHITE RABBIT
White Rabbit is a new imprint published by former Faber Social impresario Lee Brackstone launching in April 2020. In its inaugural year of 2020, White Rabbit will publish twelve titles by music industry legends like Carl Cox, Richard Russell, Mark Lanegan, Annie Nightingale, Chris Frantz and Jehnny Beth of Savages amongst others. Dedicated to publishing the most innovative books and voices in music and literature, Brackstone aims to build on the uniquely successful publishing he was responsible for at Faber Social with authors like The Beastie Boys, Viv Albertine and Jon Savage. Brackstone’s titles for his Orion imprint indicate the range and personality of a list that will encompass memoir, history, fiction, translation, illustrated books and high-spec limited editions.
ABOUT THE ORION PUBLISHING GROUP
Where every story matters.
The Orion Publishing Group is one of the UK’s leading publishers.  Our mission is to bring the best publishing to the greatest variety of people. Open, agile, passionate and innovative – we believe that everyone will find something they love at Orion. Founded in 1991, the Orion Publishing Group today publishes under seven main imprints: Gollancz, the UK’s No1 science fiction and fantasy imprint; Orion Fiction, a heartland for brilliant commercial fiction; Orion Spring, home of wellbeing and health titles written by passionate celebrities and world-renowned experts; Seven Dials, for the very best commercial non-fiction, beautifully designed and produced; Trapeze for commercial fiction and non-fiction books that start conversations; White Rabbit, dedicated to publishing the most innovative books and voices in music and literature; and Weidenfeld & Nicolson, one of the most prestigious and dynamic literary imprints in British and international publishing.  
The Orion Publishing Group is part of Hachette UK which is a leading UK trade publishing group.
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newyorktheater · 5 years
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Now is the time when interest in Broadway is at its peak, piqued by the three-hour TV commercial for Broadway known as the 2019 Tony Awards.
Get tickets to attend the Tony Awards in person!
I regularly get asked for recommendations, especially from out-of-towners planning a trip to New York. When I try to explore the person’s tastes, they typically say to me “I just want you to pick the shows for me.” So here are ten (plus several “bonus” selections.)
THREE NEW PLAYS
The Ferryman Bernard B. Jacobs Theater (242 W 45th Street New York, NY 10036) Opened: October 21, 2018 Twitter: @TheFerrymanBway
Theatergoers have only until July 7, 2019 to see this feast of Irish storytelling in a breathtaking mix of genres – from suspenseful thriller to family saga to ghost story to history lesson to morality tale. Now with an American cast, this play by Jez Butterworth and directed by Sam Mendes tells the story of Quinn Carney (Brian d’Arcy James) who was once a member of the Irish Republican Army but is now a farmer with a sprawling brood — but on this day of the annual Harvest, his past comes back to threaten him.
Tickets to The Ferryman
  To Kill A Mockingbird Shubert Theater (225 W 44th Street, New York, NY 10036) Opened: December 13, 2018 Twitter: @mockingbirdbway
Aaron Sorkin has adapted Harper Lee’s beloved novel to focus more on the murder trial of an unjustly accused black man who is defended by Atticus Finch (Jeff Daniels.) But Scout (Celia Keenan-Bolger), her brother Jem (Will Pulled) and her friend Dill (Gideon Glick) still feature in the show, all played by adults.
Tickets to To Kill A Mockingbird
What The Constitution Means To Me Helen Hayes Theater Opened: March 31, 2019 Twitter: @constitutionbwy
Fifteen-year-old Heidi Schreck earned enough money for her college tuition by winning Constitutional debate competitions across the United States. Now she re-creates one such competition, portraying herself, as a way to explore the relationship between the document and four generations of women in her own family — and by extension all women. This smart, informative, funny and moving play has engendered an almost cult-like devotion, serving as a kind of communal salve for the politically shell-shocked and disaffected. It ends on Broadway on August 24, 2019.
Tickets to What The Constitution Means To Me
  Bonus Play
Opened last season:
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Lyric Theater (213 W. 42nd St., New York, NY 10036) Opened: April 22, 2018 Twitter: @HPPlayNYC
This continuation of the saga of the boy wizard is really for (the legions of) Potter fans, but the special effects are awe-inspiring:
Tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
THREE NEW MUSICALS
Hadestown Walter Kerr (219 W 48th Street, New York, NY 10036) Opened: April 17, 2019 Twitter: @hadestown
This sung-through musical taking place in Hell adapts the Greek myth of retrieving his wife Eurydice from the Underworld. Anaïs Mitchell’s score features sweet and sexy folk music, rocking jazz, and down-home blues.
Tickets to Hadestown
Oklahoma!, Broadway 2019
Oklahoma! Circle in the Square Theater (235 W 50th Street NYC) Opened: April 07, 2019 Twitter: @OklahomaBway
This is of course not a “new” musical, but this fifth Broadway revival of the landmark musical, directed by Daniel Fish, offers such a different interpretation that it feels like new. It’s a darker take, and the music is countrified, with a small on-stage band (and some of the performers) playing fiddle, accordion, banjo guitar.
Tickets to Oklahoma!
Ain’t Too Proud The Life and Times of The Temptations Imperial Theater (249 West 45th St. NYC) Opened: Mar 21, 2019 Twitter: @AintTooProud
Fans of 1960’s Motown are in for a treat in this musical whose performers can sing and dance as well as the Temptations — and act too.
Tickets to Ain’t Too Proud
Bonus Musicals
Opened in previous seasons:
My Fair Lady Lincoln Center’s Vivian Beaumont (150 W. 65th St) Opened April 19, 2018 Twitter: @MyFairLadyBway
If you haven’t seen Laura Benanti in this fourth Broadway revival of the Lerner and Lowe musical, you have only until July 7th to do so.
Tickets to My Fair Lady
  Dear Evan Hansen Music Box Theatre (239 West 45th St.) Opened: December 04, 2016 Twitter: @DearEvanHansen
Evan Hansen is an anxious high school student with no real friends who becomes the center of attention when a classmate he barely knew commits suicide and, through a misunderstanding, people think that Evan was his best friend.  Evan turns that misunderstanding into a lie, and the lie gets out of hand. The musical offers insights into an array of issues, from adolescent insecurity to the downside of social media, while keeping us emotionally engaged with the characters. The songs by Pasek and Paul are tuneful and deeply felt.
More on Dear Evan Hansen
Tickets to Dear Evan Hansen
James Monroe Iglehart as Thomas Jefferson
HAMILTON Richard Rodgers (226 W. 46th St., New York, NY) Opened: August 6, 2015 @HamiltonMusical
I loved this hip hop musical about American founding father Alexander Hamilton,  Off-Broadway ,  on Broadway  and now with the new cast , finding it ground-breaking and breathtaking.
There IS a daily lottery online  where you can try your luck at snagging one of the tickets for only  $10 (because Hamilton’s face is on the ten-dollar bill.)
Tickets to Hamilton
  FOUR LONG-TIME HIT MUSICALS
These musicals have proven to be audience favorites, but a caveat: The original casts have long since moved on.
THE BOOK OF MORMON The Eugene O’Neill Theater Opened: March 24, 2011 Director: Jason Moore and Trey Parker Twitter feed: @BookofMormonBWY This musical by Trey Parker and Matt Stone (book), the creators of South Park, and Robert Lopez, one of the composer-lyricists for “Avenue Q” and “Frozen” (music and lyrics) is about the founder of the Church of Latter-Day Saints and his modern disciples. It is outrageous, irreverent in one way, but also deeply reverent to (even while parodying) the best traditions of the Broadway musical.
My review of The Book of Mormon: Ridiculing Religion, Worshiping The Great White Way
Tickets to Book of Mormon
  THE LION KING
Minskoff Theater (200 West 45th Street) Opened: November 13, 1997 Twitter: @TheLionKing Based on the 1994 Disney animated film about the coming-of-age of a young lion in the African jungle, this musical offers African-inflected music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice and the visual magic of Julie Taymor. Taymor is the director, a composer and lyricist for some of the songs. But above all, she is the designer of the costumes, masks, and puppets — and it is these visuals that make this show a good first theatrical experience.
Tickets to Lion King
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Majestic Theater (247 West 44th Street) Opened: January 26, 1988 Twitter: @PhantomBway The Phantom of the Opera, based on a 1911 French novel by Gaston Leroux, is about a disfigured genius named Erik who lives in the catacombs of the Paris Opera House and falls in love with Christine, an aspiring singer whom he helps…until an old flame of Christine’s named Raoul steps back into the picture. However, the story in the musical, written and composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber — with more than its share of 1980′s heavy power ballads — is starting to take second place to the story of the musical, which is the longest-running Broadway musical of all time, and the most profitable. I find this show too loud and overwrought for my taste, but it is the one exception I’m making to the list of recommendations based on my personal taste, because it’s a tourist favorite, and admittedly visually stunning – people still ooh at the falling chandelier.
  Tickets to Phantom of the Opera
  Wicked NY
WICKED Gershwin Theater (222 West 51st Street) Opened: October 30, 2003 Twitter: @WICKED_Musical The musical tells the story of “The Wizard of Oz” from the witches’ perspective, more specifically from the Wicked Witch of the West, who was not, as a child, wicked at all, but just green-tinted, taunted, and misunderstood. There is so much to like about this musical, the clever twists on the familiar tale, the spectacular set, and music that is a lot more appealing in context (such as the song “Defying Gravity”) that I will forgive the contortions necessary to tack on a happy ending.
Tickets to Wicked
  ON A LIMITED BUDGET?
There ARE ways to get affordable tickets to Broadway shows, especially if you are willing to 1. Wait until the day of the performance, and 2. Live with uncertainty. Getting tickets to a hit Broadway show for as little as $10 (and no more than $80) takes time, luck, knowledge and/or ingenuity. Most shows now have digital lotteries and “rush” tickets. For a show-by-show breakdown on the discounts available, check out Broadway for Broke People
  DON’T FORGET OFF-BROADWAY
Some of the best shows on Broadway began Off-Broadway. Off-Broadway shows tend to be more adventurous and less expensive. But they also tend to have more limited runs, and be less publicized. Off-Broadway shows don’t get the attention they deserve. A willingness to hunt a little will pay off in a satisfying discovery, and bragging rights possibly for years to come.
LOOK OUT FOR THE NEXT HIT
Check out my latest monthly calendar of openings to what’s newly available on Broadway, Off-Broadway and Off-Off Broadway.
What Broadway Shows Should I See? Top 10 Suggestions Now is the time when interest in Broadway is at its peak, piqued by the three-hour TV commercial for Broadway known as the 2019 Tony Awards.
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tabloidtoc · 5 years
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Entertainment Weekly, August
 Cover: Ruby Rose as Batwoman (cover 5 of 5)
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Page 1: Contents, Melissa Benoist as Supergirl 
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Page 2: Sound Bites -- Pauly D, Priah Ferguson on Stranger Things, Samuel L. Jackson in Spider-Man: Far From Home, Debi Mazar on Younger, Katherine Ryan on Glitter Room, Shane McAnally on Songland, Bruce Nozick on Big Little Lies, Kathryn Dunn on Big Brother, the top 6 tweets -- Lena Waithe, Ryan Reynolds, Gabrielle Union, Jeff Goldblum, Lil Nas X, George Wallace 
Page 4: Editor’s Note -- Entertainment Weekly is going monthly but keeping the name, all 5 of the collectible covers 
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Page 6: The Must List -- Four Weddings and a Funeral 
Page 8: Power, Moulin Rouge 
Page 9: The Yelllow House by Sarah M. Broom, Of Monsters and Men 
Page 10: David Makes Man, Harry Potter Wizards Unite 
Page 12: Where’d You Go, Bernadette, Q+A with Cate Blanchett 
Page 14: Chance the Rapper, Good Boys 
Page 17: First Take -- Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding in Last Christmas 
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Page 20: The Masked Singer 
Page 22: Anna Paquin in The Affair 
Page 25: Comic-Con 2019 
Page 26: Arrowverse 
Page 30: The Flash 
Page 31: Supergirl 
Page 33: DC’s Legends of Tomorrow 
Page 34: Batwoman
Page 35: Meet Your Maker -- Greg Berlanti 
Page 36: The biggest and buzziest pop culture projects at Comic-Con 
Page 37: The Witcher 
Page 38: The Good Place 
Page 39: Terminator: Dark Place 
Page 40: Snowpiercer, Stumptown 
Page 41: The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance 
Page 42: Jay and Silent Bob reboot, Star Trek: Picard 
Page 43: House of X & Powers of X 
Page 44: The Rook 
Page 45: It: Chapter Two -- James McAvoy
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Page 46: November 
Page 47: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, The Walking Dead 
Page 48: Westworld 
Page 49: The Boys 
Page: 50: Veronica Mars 
Page 54: The Mummy -- The director and cast of 1999′s The Mummy unearth the terrifying secrets of the franchise-inspiring box office monster 
Page 60: Hollywood True Crime -- the most shocking crimes and seamy scandals of Hollywood’s misspent youth 
Page 66: The Hitmen -- legendary producing-songwriting team of Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis tell the stories behind some of their biggest hits 
Page 68: Reviews -- Glow 
Page 72: Movies -- Q+A Quentin Tarantino 
Page 75: Jillian Bell laces up her sneakers for her first leading role as a newbie athlete in Brittany Runs a Marathon, Luce
Page 76: Disney’s live-action reboots 
Page 77: Director Marielle Heller on A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Blinded by the Light 
Page 78: The stars of The Kitchen -- Tiffany Haddish and Melissa McCarthy and Elisabeth Moss 
Page 80: The Shot -- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy 
Page 82: Beauty Hunter -- Vanessa Kirby 
Page 84: Milo Ventimiglia in The Art of Racing in the Rain 
Page 85: Classic Dog Performances -- Hooch in Turner & Hooch, Bruiser in Legally Blonde, Charlie in A Star Is Born 
Page 86: TV -- Ginnifer Goodwin and Lucy Liu and Kirby Howell-Baptiste star in Marc Cherry’s new decade-jumping drama Why Women Kill 
Page 87: The Terror: Infamy 
Page 88: Dan Harmon and Justin Rolland preview season 4 of Rick and Morty 
Page 89: David Spade, Dear White People 
Page 90: Burning questions about Stranger Things season 3 
Page 94: Your outdoor oasis do’s and don’t from Flipping Exes realtor Nina Klemm
Page 96: Music -- Ahead of Woodstock’s golden anniversary performers and attendees reflect on the three-day weekend that altered the face of American culture 
Page 99: BJ the Chicago Kid -- 1123 
Page 100: 3 questions with Ben Folds 
Page 102: The Flaming Lips -- King’s Mouth 
Page 103: How shifting dynamics disrupt the longtime critics-vs.-musicians model -- Jack White
Page 104: Books -- Is There Still Sex in the City by Candace Bushnell and Three Women by Lisa Taddeo 
Page 105: Reasons to Be Cheerful by Nina Stibbe, The Need by Helen Phillips 
Page 106: Two new books ask why can’t we get enough of the millenial grifter -- Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino and My Friend Anna by Rachel DeLoache Williams 
Page 107: The books and family sitcoms that influence Laura Lippman 
Page 108: The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead 
Page 109: The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall, Chances Are... by Richard Russo 
Page 111: A.J. Jacobs recommends he five funniest books he’s ever read 
Page 112: The Bullseye 
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