#jamesandkeithweek

[havanarr]

@jamesandkeith week Day One / Confessions

James&Keith // 1400 Words // T // AO3

Description: James doesn't mean to confess to Keith just days after they're reunited. Keith doesn't expect to realise that he feels the same.

Set during Voltron season7ep9 (minor spoilers)

Keith is bone tired by the time they’ve piled into the Garrison issued vehicle. He’s had a tension headache since they landed on earth, pressing into his temples and it had only gotten worse as he sat through endless meetings with Garrison officials. He’d thought a mission to find Hunk’s parents would clear it up. Some fresh air, away from the stifling off white hallways of the Garrison. But then James had caught up with them, and Keith’s headache had doubled in force.

Hunk is silent in the back of the car, he hadn’t uttered a word since vowing to save his parents. Keith is in the front seat, next to James and he lets his eyes slide over him. He’s taller now. They used to be the same height, but now James has a couple of inches on him. His face has slimmed, his features sharper now. His driving is steady, but he’s gripping the steering wheel so tightly that Keith can see the veins on the backs of his hands. He’s been as tense as Keith had been the entire mission.

James pulls the car into The Garrison facility, pulling the hand break up with a jerk. Hunk is the first to jump out, Keith follows him quickly. He’d rather not be alone in close quarters with James, not tonight.

“Thanks guys.” Hunk says, he looks embarrassed, rubbing the inside of one wrist with his thumb. “I’m glad I got to see my parents. Even if we couldn’t help them this time.” He adds hesitantly.

“No problem, Hunk.” Veronica says, giving him an easy smile, and Hunk grins back.

Keith wonders if they knew each other, before all of this. Before pilot error, before Voltron, before the Galra attacked. Or if their easy connection is because so much of Lance is also in Veronica. He’s never been great with people, but even Keith can recognise their similarities; their smiles, their absolute care for others.

“But you should eat something, Hunk.” Veronica adds after a beat, pulling Hunk away by the shoulder. “And then to bed.” Keith hears her add, Hunk gives him a quick glance, a half smile, as he lets Veronica haul him towards the kitchens.

And then it’s just Keith and James. Alone, in the giant Garrison hanger. It’s lined with cars, with wheels large enough to handle any terrain. The jets are at the very back, the ones James and the other MFE Pilots fly, loom over the rest of them creating long shadows. Keith is hit with a sudden need to run, to get out of this situation as fast as possible, but Hunk and Veronica are already gone.

He glances back at James, who’s watching him with folded arms and arched eyebrows.

He looks anywhere but his eyes.

“I-I should go, too.” He stammers out, his voice weaker than he would have liked.

Come on. Some leader of Voltron. You can’t even look him in the eye. The voice in the back of his head taunts.

But James reaches out, a split second faster than Keith can react, his hand gripping Keith’s upper arm like a vice.

“No.” He says, his voice low, moving into Keith’s space, crowding him, so close that Keith can smell his aftershave. He recognises it.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me.” James says as Keith wrenches his arm out of his grip, finally meeting his gaze.

“What do you want, Griffin?” He asks, trying to put as much distance between them with his tone, his choice of name. He hasn't called him that for years. It hadn't taken long for him to fall into using James' given name, not after everything. The steely expression on James’ face flickers for an instant, before his mouth returns to a hard line.

Keith had been trying to avoid James since they returned to the Garrison. He’d tried to leave James behind on Earth as he and the other Paladins, crammed inside the cockpit of a blue mechanical lion, shot into space. It had worked, for the most part. James had become a distant memory, so apart from his life as a Paladin that it became difficult to reconcile who he was with James to who he is now.

But since he’d crashed back to Earth, crashed back practically into James, he’d tried to avoid his gaze. He’d tried to avoid letting his eyes trace the shape of his body through the MFE uniform.

They hadn’t exchanged words alone yet. Both too caught up in meetings and duties and missions.

“I want to know where you’ve been.” James says and Keith can feel the anger rising inside his chest at the words. Can feel the way James has already got back under his skin, like the dirt under his fingernails.

“I’ve been fighting in an intergalactic space war, piloting a giant flying lion, to try and stop the Galra from invading this planet and hundreds of others.” He spits out.

James just looks him up and down. Keith knows that it’s not the right answer. He knows it’s not what James is asking, not really.

Keith holds his gaze, not willing to be the first to break away. Not for James. Not today.

“Where were you Keith?” James asks, emotion cracking open his words, his hard, leader of the MFE's, second best pilot in the Garrison, top of the class, facade breaking right in front of Keith’s very eyes. James had always been the strong one in this, whatever sat between them. He'd been the one to try to pick up Keith's pieces after Shiro, after pilot error. But now their positions have switched. And It's Keith's fault.

“Why did you disappear?” James tries again, the words tumbling out of his mouth hard and fast, his hands finding purchase on Keith’s shoulders, clutching tightly to the paladin armour, shaking him lightly.

“The Garrison said you had been expelled, but you disappeared, there was no way to contact you, and it was right after we-” but Keith can’t let him continue, can’t let him spill the contents of their shared past onto a hanger floor.

He can’t hear it, not from James. Not today.

Not when so much has already been found and lost. His mother, found, but then left on an unknown planet to rebuild the Blades. Shiro, lost and then found. And then found again. His father, dead. Any hope of happiness he had on Earth, sabotaged with a punch to Iverson’s face.

“I ran away!” Keith cuts him off. His own breath coming out heavy. James looks momentarily shocked, pulling back slightly at Keith’s outburst.

“I ran, okay?” He continues, his voice louder than he wants it to be. But he can’t seem to speak any quieter. His emotions won’t let him.

“I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle pilot error, couldn’t handle being alone again. I never fit in here, James. So I left.”

But that wasn’t entirely true. He couldn’t let himself be happy. He hadn’t deserved it. Hadn’t deserved those few night of happiness. Not after pilot error. Not when Shiro was dead. He hadn’t deserved to get close to someone. Every time he did they had ended up dead.

“You left me.” James says, his voice raw from five years of pain.

And Keith is caught off guard by it. By an unsure and vulnerable James. It’s such a contrast from the James he knew. The one who could match him in fire. The only one who could match him in piloting. The only person who could shout as loud as he could; who could throw a punch as hard as he could. The only one who could kiss the fire in him into softness…

“I know.” Keith feels himself say. His throat feels like sandpaper, and it hurts him to speak.

James looks older now, Keith can still recognise him, despite the differences. He’s taller and his shoulders have filled out.  But his eyes are the same, filled with the same determination. It almost burns into Keith as James meets his eyes again. They’re inches apart, the tension between them dissipating into something low and dangerous. The end of a match before it’s been lit. Full of potential. But not ready to explode just yet.

“I was falling for you.” James says softly.

And then he moves forward, hands moving towards Keith’s face, gripping it lightly between them, thumb tracing the scar on his right cheek.

“Tell me to stop.” James says, so softly that Keith’s not sure if he was even meant to hear it.

But he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t want James to stop.

Chapped lips meet his, and Keith responds instantly, his own mouth moulding to fit James’ like two puzzle pieces.

James takes a step forward until Keith is against the Garrison car, his body pressing against Keith’s until all Keith can think is:

James James James.

All he can feel is James. And he lets himself become engulfed in it, lets the fire take him.

Because, if he’s telling the truth, he had been falling too.

[theprodigypenguin]

Look Back at Me

Pairings: Jeith/Jaith (James Griffin and Keith Kogane)

Day one of @jamesandkeith week: Competition/Co-operation/Confessions  

Notes: While brainstorming this fic, I realized that normally it's James who confesses his feelings, so I decided to put my own personal spin on the confession trope. I hope you all enjoy!

Day One / Day Two / Day Three / Day Four / Day Five / Day Six / Day Seven / Day Eight

Ratings/Warnings: fluff, angst, somewhat sweet ending

Read it on Ao3 as well!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started off as something trivial and pointless, an insignificant sense of admiration born of attention he never received otherwise. Keith was quiet, his eyes were set in an almost constant glare, he chased people away just with his presence. People thought he was weird, and hardly gave him so much as a chance to prove he was more than just some emo kid. No one took him seriously, no one ever addressed him formally, even the principal just talked about him as if he were nothing but a discipline case.

Then there was James Griffin. He didn't see Keith as a quiet emo, and was the only one who ever tried to get through to him. He seemed to take Keith's quiet and withdrawn composure as a challenge, Keith still remembered one of his first days at the school, when they were both still so young, how James quickly assessed Keith's loner status before pointing at him and announcing that they were going to be friends one day whether Keith liked it or not.

Of course that didn't turn out as well as James planned. Keith just kept pushing him away, side lining his attempts at reaching Keith. Even so, he was the only one back then who ever used Keith's name, ever addressed him as "Keith" and not "that emo kid", or "discipline issue", or "pity case", and somehow that stuck with Keith. They weren't friends by any stretch, but Keith held enough respect for James to not outright dislike him.

There were certainly bumps in their acquaintanceship, in their time knowing each other, like the way he lashed verbally at Keith and earned a fist in the face for his trouble, but it steadied after that incident. They passed more pleasant words to each other when they caught each others eyes, even taking the time to give each other advice regarding the simulators and assigned homework.

It never reached anything further than leaning towards each other during classes they shared and whispering idle conversation, "Do you have an extra pencil?" "Stop forgetting your supplies, Keith." It was enough, and Keith found himself slowly, ever so slowly free falling through emotions he wasn't familiar with. A warmth in his chest had sparked and slowly began to overwhelm all his other sensations.

Whenever James would look at him in passing, offer a little nod of acknowledgement, Keith's breathing would hitch in his throat, and he'd have to find an open window to calm down and breathe again. There were two or three times when Keith was passing his homework up to James who sat in front of him in their fighter class, where their fingers would brush accidentally. Keith would start to shake, his hand uncomfortably warm, but after the fourth time, he started to search for that hint of a touch, purposely shoving his hand against James' when passing work up.

None of the emotions made any sense, especially for someone who'd been hiding from said emotions since the moment his father's casket had been lowered into the unforgiving desert ground. Feeling things just hurt him in the end, he didn't want anything to do with them, but now it was like nothing else mattered. He felt, in his heart and his head, he felt when his hand brushed across James'. He felt fucking annoyed, that was for damn certain.

It got so bad that Keith relented in his suffering and reached out to the one person he could. Though it was difficult to get out, sitting in the dirt and sand with his knees pulled to his chest and his arms wound around his legs, chin sitting on top of his knees.

"I feel sick to my stomach whenever he's around," he started, lifting his hands to stare at his fingers, "My palms get hot and my fingers tingle and shake. My head gets all light and airy. It's really uncomfortable. My chest gets really tight and my heart beats too fast, enough that I feel like I'm dying or something."

"Hah, I see," Shiro was sitting beside Keith, legs crossed and arms folded across his chest, eyes closed in something like amusement, only proved by the slight upturn of his lips, "Well, I think I can diagnose your symptoms, but you might not like what the doctor prescribes."

"Do I look ten to you?" Keith asked, stretching his legs out and leaning forward to glare up at the pilot beside him, "If you know what's wrong with me, tell me, and tell me how to make it stop, because it's annoying me."

"I gotcha," Shiro assured, turning and holding a hand up with his index pointing at Keith, "I diagnose you with severe crush disorder. I prescribe you confessing your feelings and maybe asking him out."

Keith's jaw dropped and he choked on his tongue for a clumsy moment before managing to make out words, "You want me to fucking what?!"

Shiro laughed when Keith threw a punch into his shoulder, "Okay listen. That breathless feeling you get when you're around him, that's how it started with me when I started to notice my feelings for Adam. I'll say this once. You deserve to be happy, to be with someone who makes you breathless like that. Take a chance, don't wait until you think you're ready, because by then it might be too late. You know you like him, right?"

Keith couldn't seem to find the right words, just stumbled over strange noises of confusion and disagreement. Really though, the fact he couldn't even deny it was pretty telling on its own. Shiro wasn't wrong, Keith liked James, and it only took half a day of contemplation to come to the same "diagnosis" that his friend had.

Acting on that realization, on the other hand, was something entirely different. What was Keith even supposed to say? He wasn't good at expressing himself, he wasn't good at handling emotions at all, but what Shiro said stuck with him. If he waited until he was ready, then he could be too late.

Keith tried several approaches, all of which ended up failing. He wrote his confession on a post it note that he stuck to James' textbook when he wasn't looking, but he forgot to sign his name. At one point he even wrote all his admiration into a letter and stuck in under the door jam leading into James' dorm, but he didn't even know if James had gotten that, or if his roommate had swiped it as a joke.

He did everything aside from verbally confessing his feelings, because the one time he tried, he nearly had a panic attack, choking on his breath before darting away. The fact James actually looked concerned for Keith's sudden unexplained freak out made it even more difficult to get the words out. So he just didn't, and he kept them to himself.

Though he did occasionally leave little notes for James, occasionally sticking flowers into his book bag when he left it unsupervised. It was enough to keep his wild emotions in check for the time being while he practiced confessing in the bathroom mirror, over and over again until his roommate told him to shut up and go to bed.

He was almost ready, almost, until Shiro's warning of waiting too long and losing his chance came to pass. The Kerberos mission, watching the launch, Shiro's absence made Keith sick with worry. Everyone noticed of course, that Keith was being far quieter than was normal for him, wasn't getting into fights, was keeping to himself, even turning homework assignments in on time.

James tried to ask him about it, asked if he was okay, and though he certainly wasn't the first to ask, he seemed to be the first who actually cared. Keith reassured him he was okay, and in that moment he was even ready to tell James everything, how worried he was about his friend, but how he was grateful James was reaching out to him; that he liked him, a lot.

Instead, another road block made itself known in the form of pilot error, and Keith's world fell out from under him. He didn't mean to punch Iverson, really he didn't, but the building stress of losing his one and only friend, the one person who seemed to give a damn about him, coupled with the Garrison officers constantly repeating pilot error, pilot error, was too much to bear.

He was booted, of course, and had nothing but the clothes on his back to take with him when he walked out the front door of the Garrison. It was evening, all the cadets were in their dorms, they wouldn't hear of his expulsion until the next morning. Keith didn't expect to see anyone outside, but there was someone standing at the gate, and the orange of their uniform revealed they were a cadet. It wasn't until Keith was almost on top of them that he recognized who it was, and by then they'd picked up on the sound of Keith's footsteps, head rolling to the side to eye him off.

There was no surprise at seeing Keith there, but there was something along the lines of disappointment, and Keith hesitated, not speaking a single word as they just stared at each other. After a short moment, James turned his head away to look back at the horizon and the sun setting in the far distance.

"So they booted you?" he asked, and Keith dropped his head, hunching his shoulders defensively, his right hand clinging to the strap of the duffel bag on his back, "Yea, I... kind of overheard the teachers talking when I was in the library."

"It's past curfew, isn't it?" Keith asked, "You should be in your room already."

James hummed, not meeting Keith's eye as he dropped his arms from where he'd folded them across his chest, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and searching around before pulling out a folded piece of paper. He stared down at it before carefully unfolding it, but continued to stay silent as he flicked the edge of it.

"Listen, Keith... maybe I can talk to Iverson for you. You're at the top of the class, all of the classes, they'd be crazy to get rid of you like this," he tore his eyes from the paper to look over at Keith, "Besides, I kind of owe you, you know? For that thing..."

Keith swallowed down the lump in his throat, shaking his head, "You know what I'm like. Nothing's going to change if I stay here. I have to leave...," he felt his entire body chill, "There's nothing left for me here, or on Earth at all."

James pushed off the wall to face him, something along the lines of frustration on his face, but also pain, "Let me help you. If you have nothing, then let me help you. Shirogane's not the only one who saw potential in you!"

Keith stared at the toes of his shoes, feeling lonely despite the fact that James was standing there in front of him, and he felt a wistful smile take to his lips as he clung to his bag.

"Thank you... but... right now I think I need to leave. I think it's the best thing for me, I just... need to think. I need to be alone."

"But... Keith, you're not-."

"Before I go, though, can I say something?" Keith interrupted, and James gave a deep sigh, shoulders sagging, "It's just... I see now that I've wasted a lot of time pitying myself and being scared of rejection. Shiro told me not to wait too long, because if I did then I would just lose my chance, and I guess I technically have, but... I guess that just means I have nothing else to lose, so...," he lifted his head to look at James, who was watching him uneasily, "I like you. I have for a while now. I mean, a long while, like ever since we were in middle school. Also when I say I like you I mean-."

"I know," James was the one to interrupt this time, and Keith narrowed his eyes a bit, though they shot wide when James held out the small sheet of paper he'd been carrying, "All these years of seeing your homework and you really think I wouldn't recognize your handwriting? You're a real idiot."

Keith bristled dangerously at that, eyes burning with anger as his face burned with embarrassment, responding the best way he knew how and leaning forward, lashing out, "So you knew this whole time, and what, you were just playing me? Stringing me along and making fun of me? Laughing at me behind my back when you're with your fucking friends, is that it?!"

"You need to take a minute and control your anger!" James snapped back, relaxing substantially before continuing, "I haven't shown anyone or told anyone, I... needed time to think about it for myself, but... there's nothing wrong with it, you know that, right? I mean I k-kinda might return your feelings anyway, so it's fine," Keith didn't have a chance to react before James was adding, "So you're wrong when you say you have nothing left here! You have me!" he stuck the paper out, waiting for Keith to take it.

It was worn from being folded and unfolded so often, one of the first things he'd written and stuck into James' bag. Cheesy, stupid, a confession of "I like you, and I want to go out with you," in Keith's handwriting. Right beneath it was another line of text, one he hadn't put there, one that made him choke on nothing as he read it.

I like you too, let's go out sometime.

"I'll talk to Iverson," James repeated, and Keith clung to the paper with both hands, "I'll convince him to give you another chance, we can work through this together. I'll help you, Keith, you're not alone. We can keep studying, keep training, enter the Garrison as pilots and teachers once we've graduated into officers. You're not alone, and there is a reason for you to stay here."

Keith didn't even know how to really feel at that point. He was tired. Emotionally exhausted and drained from everything that had happened. He could still feel it, the love and care he held in his heart, something reserved only for James, but at this point, he didn't think he'd be able to open up and love James the way he deserved.

"I... I need time, James. Please," Keith said softly, "I need to be alone, to think, I just... I can't be with you the way I am now. I need time to think through everything."

Silence answered him, and for a horrible moment Keith felt like sobbing, because he really had missed his chance. All this time he could've been with James, but he'd wasted it lamenting over how to confess, before wasting even more time mourning Shiro before he'd even been confirmed... gone. Was it really too late?

"Will you ever come back?" James asked, and Keith tensed, folding the paper up and holding it back out for the other cadet to take.

"I don't know."

James reached out and pushed Keith's hand closer to his chest, "Keep it," he said, and Keith felt his heart jump in panic before James quickly continued, "as a reminder. A promise. I'll wait for you."

Keith took a shuddering inhale, holding the page to his chest, "What if it takes too long? What if it takes years?"

"That's fine," James assured, "I've waited this long, you know. I can wait one or two more years," Keith almost, almost smiled, eyes pinching closed as James leaned towards him and brushed a kiss to his right cheekbone, then stepped past him, a hand squeezing his upper arm, "Come back as soon as you can, okay? I'll take you on a date to Plaht City, how's that sound."

"Plaht City?" Keith's voice broke at that, fighting the burn in his eyes, "Okay. Yea. Plaht City. I'll hold you to that promise."

"And I'll hold you to the promise that you'll come back. Better be ready, I'll be a fully realized pilot by the time you get back, so don't be too surprised."

Keith finally smiled at that, turning his head to look back at James, "Good. Keep studying and training. I know you'll be a good pilot. The best the Garrison has ever seen."

"I'll see you soon," he reached a hand back, and James reached over with his own, without looking, hooking his fingers with Keith's.

"Yea. You better."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"One or two years," Keith paused in his steps, fingers biting into the surface of his red accented paladin's helmet, hesitating before turning to look at who was standing in the hall behind him; James, "We made a promise, but you... might not remember it. Thought I'd ask anyway."

Keith watched him silently before turning his head away, staring at the wall before dropping his head and searching around inside the helmet, slipping a folded piece of paper from inside the lining and holding it out towards James, who hesitated visibly before taking a step closer.

He unfolded the paper Keith handed to him, a grin breaking over his face with an anxious laugh, flush crossing his cheeks pink and shaking his head before meeting Keith's eye. The smile wavered and he reached out to cup the side of Keith's face, thumb brushing the scar marring the skin there and leading Keith closer.

"It's been like six years."

"And you waited for me?" Keith tested, not moving away when James set their foreheads together.

"Guess I'm an idiot like that."

"Yea," Keith laughed out the word, "You definitely are."

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith week extra day - guardian angel AU

Title: Shelter Word count: 1200 Summary: Being Keith’s guardian angel is a very, very tiring job. 

James hated his job. He usually didn’t, but ever since this kid had been born, he’d been working overtime, for eighteen years now.

Keith was the nightmare of every guardian angel, and James thought it was really, really unfair how he had been assigned to him when he’d only been a child too. A child who just happened to be a guardian angel, but a child nonetheless. Keith definitely made sure James had to grow very responsible very quickly.

At four years old, he tripped on the first step of the wooden stairs in his home, falling down the entire flight as a result.

His father told him he’d been really lucky. Lucky, his ass, James thought. It was all his hard work, no luck involved. Just skill, thank you very much.

At five, Keith very, very nearly got lost in the desert and died from dehydration. It was only thanks to Keith’s apparent affinity to sensing supernatural energy that permitted him to subtly nudge Keith back in the right direction to the shed he and his father inhabited.

Keith’s father made sure to teach Keith everything about surviving in the desert he needed to know, so that was at least one thing less to worry about for James.

Then, at seven, he tried to climb a very old, very dry tree, which promptly decided to rid itself of one of his branches when Keith had climbed nearly all the way up.

James couldn’t protect him from breaking a bone, but he was able to make sure it was his arm that broke instead of his spine.

Those were all just the more terrifying incidents, of course. There were countless little accidents, such as cutting himself with a knife by accident (why the child had a knife of all things really was beyond James), falling off his skateboard, trying to pet approximately five snakes before his father finally remembered to teach him about venomous snakes. It was… a lot.

It got worse when Keith lost his father and got into the foster system, where there seemed to be more bad people on his way than bad ones. James did his best to protect him, but he couldn’t prevent him from acquiring a handful of new scars, both physical and mental.

But then, Keith had to go and get on a giant lion shaped alien spaceship with a bunch of strangers and fly off to space.

Space was pretty, James had to admit, and there weren’t that many guardian angels who got to experience it the way he was, since they were tied to their charge and all, so he supposed he could have thanked Keith for that.

But apparently, the price for the extraordinary experience - which got old kind of fast anyway - was a whole bunch of extremely messed up incidents and accidents that would probably have sent James into cardiac arrest, if angels had a beating heart in the first place.

Keith was being sucked out into space more than once, hunted by all kinds of strange creatures, decided to fight a group of Galra soldiers for days only to join their top secret organization. It was a mess, honestly.

During all those years with Keith, James had gotten used to the frequent dangerous situations Keith got himself into, and he liked to think he was at least somewhat calmer about it than he had been the first few years.

But when Keith was steering his fighter straight towards the barrier of the enemy ship to crash himself into it and save his friends, that was when James truly thought Keith was going to die. There wouldn’t be anything he could do against an explosion. He might have been an angel, but Keith was only human - alright, half human, but James seriously doubted Galra were fireproof - and there was no way he could survive something like this.

“God damnit, Keith,” James whispered. He had been by Keith's side ever since they were both children. By his side from the very beginning, and the only thing he could do was standing by Keith’s side until the very end.

Suddenly, something flashed in the distance and James whirled around for a better look. And- there, Prince Lotor’s ship was firing at the barrier, breaking it, and they were still going at full speed, too fast, too close, and James desperately grabbed Keith’s hands where they were wrapped around the levers, pulling them back with all his might so they dashed past the enemy ship in the last possible second.

“Oh my god,” James sighed, relief making his legs shaky. “That was so close, god, Keith.”

From that point, every wound Keith acquired in battle suddenly seemed a lot less scary to James, because if there was a wound, there was at least something that could be treated. A wound wasn’t always a hopeless situation. Anything was better than getting blown into pieces, quite honestly.

And then, they were on a solo mission gone wrong, and Keith was lying on the ground panting and trying to staunch the blood flow from his stomach as he waited for his fellow paladins to rescue him, but James could tell it was getting harder and harder for him to hang on.

“C’mon, I didn’t keep you alive for eighteen years just so you can die here, pull yourself together man,” James told him fervently. “If you die like this, I’m going to be seriously offended on your behalf because this is just ridiculous. You-” he cut himself off, because Keith’s head lolled towards him and Keith was staring, eyes surprisingly lucid considering his state, and he wasn’t just staring in his direction, he was staring at him.

“Uh… Keith?” James tried, because surely that couldn’t be possible.

Keith frowned, trying to say something but he coughed wetly instead. Only the second attempt was successful. “You…”

James’ eyes widened. “Wait, you can actually see me?” That wasn't good. That wasn't good at all. If Keith could see him, that meant he was extremely close to death, even closer than James had assumed.

“Are you my… guardian angel or s’mething?” Keith slurred, his gaze becoming less and less focused.

“Yeah!” James said hurriedly, maybe conversation could help him keep Keith awake. “Yeah, exactly that. My name is James, I’ve been guarding your idiotic ass for eighteen years now and you haven’t made it easy!”

Keith huffed out a laugh. “Thanks. Y’re hot…”

James’ cheeks reddened. “Uh… thank you? You… you too?”

“You gonna stay with me until..?” Keith asked quietly, and James decided he didn’t like the tone one bit.

“No, no, you’re not going anywhere. Listen to me, I’m gonna stay with you forever, but your friends are gonna show up any second now, and you’ll be fine, nobody’s dying here tod-”

As if on cue, there was yelling in the distance, and only a minute later, Keith’s entire team stormed up to them, loud and worried and definitely capable of helping.

Stepping back, James locked eyes with Keith for one last time. “Stop being so reckless, will you?”

“No promises,” Keith whispered back with a tiny smile before his eyes closed and he passed out, safe in the care of his friends.

[kiskisbellart]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James Griffin/Keith (Voltron) Characters: James Griffin (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Additional Tags: Jeith Week, Competition, Frottage, Smut Series: Part 1 of Jeith Week (2018) Summary:

Jeith Week, Day 1

Keith and James see who can hold off cumming.

So guess who decided which ship would be the first smut I wrote online? THIS GAL! For @jamesandkeithweek if you didn’t guess! Check them out if you’re into the ship!

[havanarr]

Second Place

@jamesandkeith week Day Five / Shiro

James&Keith // 2200 Words // T // AO3

set after Voltron S7

James had escaped the battle for Earth relatively unscathed. He'd lead the MFE’s in assisting Voltron and the IGF-Atlus in their fight with Sendak. The second battle, the one with the mysterious alien technology, a ship more powerful than Voltron and twice its size, had left everyone shaken. The MFE Jets had been useless against the towering white piece of technology, barely causing more harm than a fly.

So they’d been called off. Called back to watch the rest of the fight from solid ground.

James had watched as Voltron was thrown to the ground, the Lion taking hit after hit. He’d watched as the Atlus turned into something new and unprecedented, it’s own being, bigger than Voltron. He’d watched as Voltron dealt the final blow.

He’d felt his heart speed up, his panic rise, as he realised the machine wasn’t done with them yet. Realised that there was a self destruct mechanism.

And then he’d watched as the Lions lifted the machine, the Black Lion taking the brunt of the weight beyond the Earth’s atmosphere, saving the rest of them.

And he’d felt his heart drop with the Black Lion as it plummeted, with Keith still inside, back to Earth at impossible speeds.

The Black Lion had landed the closest to the Garrison, bringing a discarded watch tower down with it. It had taken hours for rescue teams to break down the rubble and pull its Paladin out.

It took two days for all of the Paladins to return to the Garrison, the Blue Lion landing the furthest, just off the coast.

All five Paladins had been brought to the Garrison infirmary, the official line was that they were recovering well from strain and minor injuries.

James knew that was bullshit.

He'd tried to fight his way into the ward a few nights later, unable to stop himself. It had been three nights since the fight, since Keith was pulled from the debris of the Black Lion’s crash site and he’d heard nothing.

“Just let me see Kogane.” He practically spits at the security guard. He doesn't know why the Paladins needed security, why the hospital even needs it. The security guard doesn't respond to him this time, doesn't even meet his eyes. He's taller than James, broader too. No way would he get past, even if he did know the security code to the door.

“This is a restricted area.” The guard repeats slowly, as if James is stupid and not one of the best pilots the Garrison has left.

“And why is that?” He asks, leaning back slightly to look the guard in the eyes.

He could try and force his way through, try to take the guard down. But unlike the guard, he doesn't have a weapon. Or the security code. He’d probably lose any future opportunity of seeing Keith too.

“Why don’t you want us seeing the Paladins of Voltron? Is Kogane awake?” he tries instead. But he doesn't get a chance to finish before-

“Cadet!” Someone calls from behind him, he whips around, it's a trained reaction now, to a grey uniform, a head of white hair, a scar across the bridge of a nose.

Shirogane.

Shirogane places a hand on James’ shoulder, leading him gently away. James doesn't miss the nod he gives to the guard, but he follows. Even if James doesn't like him, Shirogane is still a superior officer. They end up in the canteen, Shirogane dropping himself into a chair, looking at James expectantly until he does the same.

Shirogane’s hair is a bright, striking white now. But it doesn’t make him look older. If anything he looks just as young as the Shirogane in the photographs, just as young as the Shirogane James remembers from his early days as a cadet. He folds his arms, letting himself sit at ease. Shirogane hasn't given him an order yet.

When he'd first joined the Garrison he had admired Officer Takashi Shirogane. The Garrison’s golden boy. The best pilot in a decade. He’d hated Keith, partly for his relationship with Shirogane.

That illusion had cracked after pilot error. After Shirogane had, apparently, piloted the Kerberos mission into failure. It had cracked even more after he’d struck up a friendship with Keith. After he’d watched Keith lose himself in grief, in the despair of losing Shiro. He’d tried to help, offering Keith friendship, and then more. He’d thought it was working, Keith calmed down when they were together. Hidden behind the walls of his dorm room he was softer, vulnerable. But then he’d watched Keith throw away his place at the Garrison for Shirogane’s memory, leaving James behind too.

“Piloting Voltron,” Shiro begins, rubbing his temples with his human hand, “isn’t like piloting a fighter jet, or one of the MFE Jets. It takes your everything. It uses everything.”

“So?” He asks, trying to keep his voice even. This was the first time he’d spoken to Shirogane alone since he, Keith, and the other Paladins had returned to earth.

“So, that fight put their bodies under immense stress.” Shiro continues and James wants to stand up, knock the table between them over, grab Shirogane by the collar and shout: What about the time you put Keith under immense stress? What about the time you died, left Keith, left him here, broken without anyone to pick up the pieces?

But he keeps his mouth closed. Purses his lips together, just in case the words boiling in his chest break free.

“And they need to be kept under observation.” Shiro finishes, meeting James’ gaze.

So he switches tracks “Injuries?” He asks. It's curt, straight to the point. He doesn't want to dance around the facts with Shirogane. He just wants, deserves, to know. They would have told the other Paladin’s families this information. Keith didn’t have anyone besides himself and Shirogane waiting for him.

“Keith’s injuries?” Shirogane asks, looking a little taken aback.

James nods. He doesn't dare open his mouth. Just in case some of the anger finds it's way out of his chest.

“I didn’t realise you two were so close.”

No, of course you didn’t. You were dead. It was only you dying that brought Keith to me. He wants to say. But he doesn't. Because a part of him, a tiny, nagging voice, wants to know why Shirogane doesn't know about him and Keith.

Keith had left the Garrison, disappearing into the night. James had searched for him for a while but it was like a signal that had gone dead. Like Keith had fizzled out, like his rage had finally burst and taken him with it. He’d assumed Keith had wanted to leave him, along with the Garrison. But then Keith had returned, with Shirogane,  and he’d assumed that Keith had told Shirogane everything. He hadn’t expected their friendship, their relationship, to become a secret from Shirogane.

“We were.” He says through gritted teeth. Not wanting to give Shirogane any more. Shirogane already knew so much of Keith, if this was something solely between them he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to keep this part of Keith, the soft mummers in his ear late at night, the hands fisted in his hair, to himself.

Shiro watches him for a moment, looking him up and down, as if James’ name badge would give him a hint; James Griffin. Ex-Best friend/Boyfriend . And then Shirogane  sighs, his face softening, relaxing into that of a tired, worried, friend.

“I’m glad,” He finally says. “That he had someone looking out for him down here.”

James feels his cheeks flush, moving his gaze down to his hands, clasped in front of him on the table. He had looked out for Keith, for the months between pilot error and his disappearance. But there had been a year between that and his departure from Earth, between that and the first time Shiro returned.

“He doesn’t talk about the year I wasn’t here.” Shiro continues. “I was worried that he spent it alone.”

James can’t fight the lump building in his throat, the self loathing he'd felt when Keith had disappeared and he hadn't been able to find him. He had shared that worry. It had torn him up inside for a while. He’d been angry, at first. Angry that Keith had left without a word to him. And then worried. Worried that he was alone, that he would hurt himself, that he was dead. But then Shirogane had crashed back to Earth in an alien ship and three cadets had disappeared after breaking him out. He’d seen the footage from the break in. He’d seen the fourth member of that entourage. Had recognised the hair first, slightly too long at the back. Then the lean arms, and finally the fierce eyes peeking out from behind a bandanna.

“He did.” James says slowly, meeting Shiro’s gaze. Shiro doesn’t look surprised. Just disappointed.

He lets the confirmation sit between them, and James takes the moment to study Shirogane’s face again. The scar across his nose is deep, like the one that now sat on Keith’s cheek. He has more muscle now too, James had heard about Shirogane’s stint in Galra captivity. Maybe the scar had been gained then. Or maybe it was a newer addition.

“Keith sustained a head injury.” Shirogane finally says and James’ head jerks up, but Shirogane didn't stop there, reeling the injuries off.

“He also broke three ribs, one puncturing his lung. He’s broken a finger, the middle finger on his left hand.” It’s too methodical, James knows that if he asks him to clarify which ribs had been broken that Shirogane would be able to tell him.

“He’s been patched up, the punctured lung wasn’t as serious as it could’ve been. He’s on oxygen right now."

“The head injury?” James asks slowly. He’d heard that Keith came out of that crash unconscious. One of the pilots in his class had crashed once. He’d been knocked out, lying in the crushed jet when they found him. Head injury. He’d never returned to the Garrison.

“He was going in and out of consciousness when we brought him out of Black.” James tried not to imagine it. Keith, not all there, unable to keep his eyes open. Blood trailing down the side of his head.

“He was nauseous, confused. His pupils were different sizes.” Shirogane’s voice finally cracks on the last word, punctuating his clinical description for the first time.

“He’s sleeping now. We’re waiting for him to wake up on his own.”

James nods, unsure of what to do with the information, before standing up, the chair legs screeching against the floor behind him.

“Thank you, Commander.” He says. “Please let me know when I can see him.” He adds, before leaving.

When he gets back to his dorm room he splashes cold water on his face. It's the kind of cold that hurts. But he needs to feel it, needs to keep himself grounded. So that he can' get rid of the image of Keith, unconscious, unable to wake up, out of his head.

Keith wakes up four days later.

Shiro was the one to pass along the message. James didn’t even bother to respond, walking as fast as possible without breaking into a run.

It's late, there's barely anyone in the corridors. Shiro’s speech, the memorial service for those lost in the final battle had raised morale inside the Garrison. The other MFE Pilots and members of his class were out celebrating, reuniting with their families, thanking God that they were alive.

This time the guard at the door lets him through after a quick identity check. He makes a mental note to thank Shirogane for giving him clearance before storming through to the room marked Kogane.

The door is a ajar, and he doesn't stop, but he knocks anyway, more of a warning than a question. The walls are painted a bright white, like all the others in the Garrison. It's bare except for a bed and some medical equipment. In the dim of the evening he can make out Keith’s shape under the covers. The bandage wrapped around his head is a bright white compared to his dark hair. There's gauze , and more bandages on his arms. Wires protrude from his forearms and the back of his hands, feeding him, monitoring him. His eyes are closed in sleep, his face peaceful, relaxed.

James had only seen Keith sleep a few times before, the first time had been after an extensive underage drinking session. The second had been after a night spent together. Keith had collapsed onto him, and James had run his fingers through his hair until they were both breathing softly. The most recent had been after their kiss in the hanger. James had led Keith back to his room, and Keith had collapsed into him again, his lips trailing down the side of his neck, his hands gliding over James’ body.

He reaches out for Keith’s hair once again, carding fingers through it, careful to avoid the bandages. He’d wanted to do this since their reunion, since Keith had taken off the Paladin helmet. He’d wanted to make sure that it was really Keith, that his hair was still just as soft.

Keith’s chest comes alive at the touch, taking in a deep breath, opening his eyes slowly, squinting up at James.

“Hey sleepy.” He murmurs, keeping his voice low so as not to startle Keith.

“Hey.” Keith responds, his voice comes out rough from lack of use, but his lips turn upward in a small smile. He makes no effort to sit up, but a hand reaches for James’ latching onto his fingers.

“How are you feeling?” James asks, perching on the edge of the bed.

“Bad.” Keith croaks out and James can't help but laugh.

“Yeah, you were pretty banged up.”

Keith nods, his grip slacking.

James goes back to running his fingers through Keith’s hair. It's more intimate than they’ve been in years. They haven't had the time to discuss anything since that kiss in the back of the Garrison hanger. since that night. They’d shared a few glances, James had longed to reach out and grab Keith, give himself some reassurance that he was really there, that he was back. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it.

Keith opens his eyes intermittently, sometimes he speaks, asks a question. What day is it? How long was I out? Are the others okay? Where’s Mom? The last question worries James a little, he’ll bring it up with the doctor in the morning. Most of the time the sight of James seems to be enough.

“How's… Shiro?” He asks finally, eyelids falling shut while he waits for the answer, while James shifts uncomfortably.

“He’s fine. He wasn’t hurt.” He finally says..

If the words came out abruptly Keith didn’t seem to notice.

“Thank God.” Keith says.

James didn’t respond. But he keeps running his fingers through Keith’s hair, enjoying the moment. Because he knew he’d always be second to Shirogane. And that one day he’ll lose Keith to him again.

[theprodigypenguin]

That’s the Tea

Pairings: Jeith/Jaith (James Griffin and Keith Kogane)

Day three of @jamesandkeith week: Earth/Sky/Space

Notes: When Jeith week gives you an Earth prompt, you write about a fluffy day out date on Earth! This was fun to write and I like how it came out a LOT better than the last one I wrote. Not to mention I feel as if the title is very much warranted~ Enjoy!

Day One / Day Two / Day Three / Day Four / Day Five / Day Six / Day Seven / Day Eight

Ratings/Warnings: fluff, soft jeith, date, first love, cute~

Read it on Ao3 as well!

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His hair had been tediously pushed back with water acting as gel, but it didn't look right. James reached over to the hand towel and dried off the drops, brushing it straight. Nope, that didn't look right either. Pushed behind his ears, absolutely not. He took a few menial minutes to braid the side, and muffled a scream into the folded up hand towel before tearing it out of the knot and ruffling both hands through it.

This was happening, it was scheduled and planned and it was actually happening. James went through his check list obsessively in the days leading up to his first task, shoving the paper into Kinkade's hands and asking him to review it thoroughly like he was a professor grading a thesis.

Ryan had taken one look at the paper before his face sagged in disbelief, handing it back with a tiny shake of his head, "This is why no one sat with you in chemistry class."

Firstly, that was rude, James liked being organized, that was nothing to be bagged on about! Second, now he had no one to turn to for confirmation that his list was an accurate representation of how a first date was supposed to play out.

So he had to just run with it and hope for the best.

He found a cart florist on one of his peace missions through the newly rebuilt Plaht City and purchased a bouquet of white Gardenias, because according to Ina, they signified a secret love, and James didn't want to be too overbearing in his courting. He then picked up a small box of chocolates, because everyone liked chocolates, and set about finding the object of his affections.

Even after he found him though, James got cold feet all of three times. It wasn't his fault, he just couldn't seem to find the right moment. The honored Black Paladin was just... never alone long enough to propose an outing, and God knew if James were to ask Keith out when his team was around, they'd somehow weasel their way into it, and they'd never be able to enjoy one on one time.

James knew this because his team was the same God damn way.

The first time he found Keith, he was standing in the hall with Shiro and the Galra named Krolia (James heard rushing water in his ears when he remembered Keith introducing her as his mother), who was holding out a tablet. They seemed to be discussing something important, considering three leaders of three important factions had come together to converse.

James, being leader if the MFE's (though they always teased him "yea you're not the leader" in good fun, they were still his squadron), figured he had a right to pop himself into the conversation, that he would be welcomed as another leader, but the idea of trying to court Keith with A) Commander Shirogane watching and worse B) his fucking alien mother probably judging him, made him feel woozy.

So he backed away and decided to wait for another opportunity.

His second chance was when he found Keith eating alone in the mess hall. He was pleased to see he was actually eating, as he hadn't seen him eat much at all since he woke up from his coma, and also smug that the hall was entirely empty aside from the paladin. It was the perfect chance, but when James tried to walk forward, Lance showed up from the door across the room, and James jerked behind the wall with a soft curse.

Of course HE just had to show up, face brightening as he sauntered over to Keith and sat himself down across from him. As if he had a right to get that close to Keith. Okay, maybe James was thinking irrationally from jealousy, and misplaced jealousy at that, but he couldn't help being annoyed that this idiot had foiled his plans.

He shuffled away dejected, not noticing when Keith cast a glance over his shoulder back towards the door, a frown on his lips.

"Are you listening, man?"

"... yea..."

Third times a charm, but it was a bad luck charm, so James should've known. He shuffled his feet down the hall, looked up to see Keith standing with Matt Holt, and just huffed through his nose before continuing on his way, looking for a trashcan to dump his stupid to-do list in.

He passed them, but they didn't stop talking or show they'd heard him approach at all, which was the perfect unspoken insult to add salt into his wounds, but he had turned the corner by the time he actually heard their voices.

"Just remember you're not alone, Keith, and there are people who would miss you, people who would mourn you, if you were to do something like you did on Naxzela."

"It took you a while to bring it up again, I actually figured you'd forgotten."

"I'm not gonna forget when a team member tries to sacrifice himself."

"I get it, you don't have to worry so much about me. That was a long time ago, I'm different now."

"Yea, well, color me suspicious, but I'm still gonna worry. Just look... things are different now. It's not just Shiro who's there for you anymore. You have me, my parents and Pidge, the other Paladins, your mom and the rest of the blades. That's more than you've ever had before, and all of them care about you."

"More than I ever thought I'd get, that's for sure..."

James felt dizzy as he continued down the hall, wondering what the hell Naxzela was, what Matt meant by that "sacrifice" thing, which didn't sound too great. The tone of their voices had him reaching into his pocket and clinging to the list he'd folded up and stowed away, locking his jaw.

Having friends, having family, was more than Keith ever thought he would get. It was basic necessity to at least have friends, and Keith never allowed himself to even wash in the fantasy of having such things.

James wasn't giving up. Keith deserved more, so much more, and James was going to provide all of it.

It was past midnight, the Gardenias were starting to wilt and James was pretty sure the box of chocolates had melted. He should've been in bed, but he was searching the halls for one last chance. One he found in the abandoned training area.

Keith was sitting on a bench in sweats and a sleeveless shirt, hunched over with his hair tied back and watching as he wrapped bandages around his own knuckles. It was late to be training or working out, but James had no right to scold him when he did the same things.

Especially if he couldn't sleep.

"Hey," he called out to Keith, who paused in his wrapping but didn't raise his head, "You're up... early."

Keith hummed and continued his work, having assessed who was in the room, not like he thought it would be anyone else.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Yea, no problem. I mean yea, problem, but I mean, I do this too when I can't sleep."

"That why you're here?" Keith asked, taking one end of the towel around his neck and patting away the sweat on his face.

James cleared his throat to choke down the knot that had formed there and looked down at the sorry excuse for a bouquet. Now that he was there, alone with Keith, suddenly he could feel his palms start to sweat.

What was he even doing? What were the odds of this going in his favor? Keith, he'd always been an enigma, someone James was incapable of predicting. He was like the sun, if you looked at him too long you'd get blinded, either from his sheer talent and capability, or from the spit fire decking you in the face. The latter was most likely to happen, and had happened before. James had seen it happen to other people, and it had happened to him.

He could almost feel the phantom ache in his jaw still.

This affection, James realized, had been building in his chest for years now. Ever since high school when Keith dominated at the Garrison's flight simulation, to test the abilities of possible recruits. Keith had always been nothing much, a shadow at the back of the room, someone who talked so little that people started rumors he was brain dead.

Then he burst from that emo shell and showed something he was talented at, showed their whole class that he could succeed at something. James would be lying if he said he hadn't been impressed, that someone who'd never shown promise before had suddenly revealed himself to be a prodigy.

Unfortunately, stealing a car right after showed that he still had a long, long way to go. Even if James thought stealing a car was pretty cool, it was still against the rules; and kind of illegal, which was really bad.

Yet even with that bit of red marker on Keith's ledger, James still found himself falling hard. Or, maybe that wasn't the right way to describe it, because he didn't even realize his affections until later in the Garrison.

He didn't realize it until Keith was gone, which was ironic and cruel in every way possible. That he came to the conclusion he was in love only after he'd lost his chance.

Or so he thought, but here Keith was again, safe after the strain of war, returned fresh from the crushing nothingness of space and an intergalactic war he had no responsibility to fight in; and he was like a daydream coming true.

Keith was different. Still quiet, still as unapproachable as ever, yet there was a maturity to him that he didn't used to have. He'd mellowed out, he was a seasoned pilot, a warrior. He was calm and defined and, God, he was even better, and James wanted him even more.

"Hello?" Keith called, waving a hand to get James' attention, as he'd been silently staring at Keith for a few solid minutes.

His face burned and he swallowed thickly, clearing his throat and hesitated, pulling out the Gardenias from behind his back and presenting them. A few white petals shook loose of the bouquet, drifting through the air and settling on the floor, a few catching on Keith's sweatpants, more in his hair, and the speckles of white stuck in his black hair like snowfall or stars.

Keith appeared fully taken aback, lifting his hands up as if trying to catch the petals, gaping at the few that settled in his palms before lifting his surprised eyes to James, who was glaring at him. It wasn't the best expression, it wasn't soft or adoring, but it was so entirely James.

Keith was someone to respect, to strive to be like in skill and prowess. Asking him out was a challenge that James was walking into head on. This was a stand down between two of the best pilots in the Garrison, and James had no intentions of backing down. It was a test of wills.

For a long time Keith just stared directly at the flowers, before his brow curved and he lifted his gaze to James, "What?"

"They're for you. As a gift," James said simply, and Keith lifted his hands higher, hesitated visibly, and finally reached out to take the bouquet.

His fingers brushed the back of James' hand, clammy and warm from his workout, and James had to hold his breath to keep from making a strange noise.

"What are... what's it for?" Keith asked, holding the flowers carefully, "Oh. You're thanking me or something?"

"Huh?" James uttered, cradling the back of his hand, and Keith looked at him again.

"You're not the first person to give me flowers in thanks for aiding in the war," then looked away just in time to not see James' face crunch up in annoyance, "All of us have gotten gifts and flowers, gift baskets. I, uh... don't really keep any of them, but... I guess I could hunt down a vase or something."

James still didn't know how this conversation had taken such a left turn, so he ended up just murmuring, "Huh?" again.

Keith shrugged, lifting a hand to delicately touch one of the soft flower petals, "I don't really have any use for it all, so I give it to the other paladins or my mom. It's not like I pilot the Black Lion for glory, that kind of thing makes me... uncomfortable. So... but I mean, thank you. You're the last person I expected to thank me, so I'll try to take care of them."

"Wha- no!" James stepped closer, "That's not what this is, moron! I'm not thanking you! I mean I am, thank you, but that's not what the flowers are for!"

Keith blinked before his face drew in and he scowled, "Well what the hell are they for, then?"

"Well if you were smarter you'd realize I'm trying to ask you out!" James snapped out the response, and Keith's face contorted into an expression of stunned disbelief.

It took James a minute to comprehend he'd blurted that, while his original plan was to softly offer a day out. It was done now, though, so he huffed through his nose and yanked the small box of chocolates from his pocket, handing it to Keith, who reached out cautiously to take it.

"Are you free Wednesday? Go out with me."

Keith opened his mouth, nothing came out, so he closed it and looked down at the flowers. It seemed he was having an internal struggle with himself, clearing his throat a few times and touching the petals a second time.

"Uh, I don't...," he stopped, and his eyes became faraway, before his cheeks became softly flushed, "This Wednesday?"

The way he'd started to speak, the hesitance in his voice, made James think he was going to say no, and he was preparing for the rejection. The rejection that didn't come. Keith definitely looked nervous or out of his comfort zone, but instead of saying no, he asked for a specification.

"Yea, this Wednesday."

Then there was another moment of silence, until Keith's body relaxed substantially, and he shrugged loosely, "Yea, sure."

"Really?" James asked, "Wait, really?"

"Yea."

"You'll go out with me?"

Keith shrugged again, "Yea."

"Okay," James held his hands out, "I just want to be clear, you do know that this is a date, right? Like we're going out, on a date."

"That's sort of what I figured."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Why not?" Keith glanced over at James before looking down again, "It's not like I hate you."

That might've been the best thing he could have said, that he didn't hate James, and it was those words that had him so excited the following Wednesday as he fixed his hair in the bathroom mirror.

Dressed as casually as he could without seeming like he was trying too hard, in a simple white tshirt with a maroon over shirt buttoned up, the collar folded down. Blue jeans held with a brown belt and his boots. He figured he looked pretty good, and gave himself a thumb up in the mirror.

"I'll be back late," he said when he went back into his dorm room, picking up his coat and wallet, "Don't wait up for me."

"I won't," was Kinkade's easy reply, and James cast him a narrow eyed look at where he was sitting with a book.

No time to call him out on it, though, since it was almost time to meet Keith out in the garage. James had his Garrison dune car keys in his hand, expecting to drive them like the gentleman he was.

He was throwing his keys up and catching them, his other hand in his pocket and his coat hanging over his arm. When he caught sight of Keith waiting, though, he fumbled for his keys, which seemed to fall through his hand and hit the ground with a clang.

James figured he'd been the only one worrying over his appearance, but it legitimately appeared as if Keith had put thought into his outfit. He'd never seen the paladin in casual dress, only ever his cadet uniform and paladin armor.

Now, he was wearing a black short sleeved shirt, skinny black jeans, boots that reached his knees and were accented with red colors, his hair tied back and goggles hanging around his neck. A black leather jacket was draped over the handlebars of the hoverbike he was leaning against, holding an orange phone up, but he lifted his eyes when he heard James drop his keys.

They stared at each other for a long time, long enough for James to see Keith's ears turn pink and drop his eyes, turning.

"Ready?"

"Uh, oh, yea," James ducked down and grabbed his keys, freezing when he stood straighter to watch Keith grab the jacket and pull it on, throwing one leg over the hoverbike, "Wha-what are you doing? I was going to drive us."

"Yea, but...," Keith shrugged, "It's been a while since I drove one of these. Is it okay?"

"Yea, no worries," James said, his voice cracking, feeling his heart jump in his chest when Keith held out a second pair of goggles.

"Here, and hold on."

James had sat himself down behind Keith and pulled the goggles on before he felt himself almost ask "to what", but stopped himself, hands hovering over Keith's waist.

He didn't grab him at first, just listened to the sound of the engine turning, jerking back as it started forward. That's when he grabbed Keith, out of necessity so he wouldn't fall off (that would've been very attractive), not that he didn't think about holding him around the waist almost all the time.

It was nice, really nice. Keith was warm, his waist was slim, but James could feel muscle beneath his hands, exercising incredible self control by not stroking his fingers along those muscles. He really wanted to, but that was moving too fast.

This was their first date, and it might not even go well. It was likely that Keith would get mad at him halfway through the day and ditch him in Plaht, forcing James to walk all the way back to the Garrison, thus ending any possible relationship that could be between them.

So because he wanted this, whatever it was, to last, he just held on as loosely as he could, keeping just enough grip on Keith so he didn't roll backwards off the back of the bike. Again, an absolutely wonderful start to their date.

Plaht City was bustling when they drove into it, as it normally was these days. Alien refugees and human citizens who'd survived the war had built up a coexisting community, the first alien settlement on earth to symbolize their alliance with other planets.

There were booths of food, earth food that James was familiar with, and alien foods that he wrinkled his nose at, though Keith seemed familiar enough with it all, even pointing at a few remarkably strange looking items and naming them for James.

"That tastes like a pomegranate, but a little spicy. That one tastes like chicken. Hunk really likes that, and Lance likes that because he says it tastes like garlic knots. Aren't garlic knots just garlic bread? I asked him and he got offended. Yelled at me in Spanish and huffed off."

James nodded his head furiously at everything, even though he only understood a fraction of what Keith was saying, while the other half of the time he was just dumbstruck that Keith was talking at all. He still held himself around James somewhat cautiously, like he was treading on thin ice, or figured any side tossed statement could put them on tense terms, but he was talking.

And he seemed to be enjoying himself, which had been one of James' initial concerns. That Keith would be bored, lose interest, or that he'd assume James was trying to get something out of him when all he wanted was a connection, to see Keith loosen up around him.

The day went well, neither started an argument, James didn't even feel like he was being put on the spot or challenged. The only time he felt a spark of their former rivalry was when they had lunch. They argued for a bit about who would buy food, but after a bit, Keith seemed to calm down and relent, arms folding stubbornly across his chest and looking James dead in the eye.

"If you buy, I get to pick what to eat."

James agreed, but didn't have any idea of how big a mistake he'd made until they sat down and Keith revealed his chosen cuisine, which appeared to be some unnatural alien meat with a side of... fruit, maybe.

"What is this?" James asked, sitting across from Keith, who was already using a toothpick to stab into cubes of space meat, dipping them in some kind of unnamed and clearly not earth born sauce that was green and way too thick, like mashed up caterpillar or something.

"It's meat," was his clear answer, holding out the cube he'd been just about ready to eat, "Here, try. It's good."

"Right, and what animal did it come from?"

Keith looked at the cube of meat, lips in a pout, "Well, who cares?" it sounded like a question and that was certainly suspicious, "While we were travelling, we learned to just not question it. So long as it tastes edible and nutritious, we ate it. Plus, Hunk can cook really well and make anything taste good," he held the cube closer to James' face, right against his lips, "Just taste it."

James grit his teeth and stared down at the cube of meat, slowly taking it from Keith and sniffing it. It smelt the barest bit like teriyaki chicken, so he took a tiny bite. His suspicions were confirmed, it absolutely tasted like a blend of pastrami and chicken doused in honey and teriyaki sauce. Honestly it was amazing, so James stuck the whole thing into his mouth and shrugged with his hands.

Keith grinned, and James felt entirely too pleased with himself for bringing that expression, but at the same time, the smile looked smug. It wasn't until they were finished that Keith actually revealed what they'd eaten was meat from some kind of giant space bug found on Olkarion. James nearly threw up, until he reminded himself how honestly delicious it had been. So he ate a bug, so what? No one could say he was a coward now at least.

"My turn," James decided, because although he was okay with eating a bug, he still felt the need to one up Keith, if only for fun.

He was holding out two chilled to-go cups with straws stuck through the tops, and Keith squinted at them suspiciously as he took one, "What's this?"

"Tea," James answered, one hand propped against his hip and looking far too satisfied in himself, "Milk tea to be specific. It's good. Never had it?" Keith shook his head, and James smiled his own smug smile, "Good, this should be fun then."

Keith just hummed, staring at his tea. He was quiet for a long time as James enjoyed his own drink without hesitation, turning his head back and forth slowly. They had taken a seat on a bench just off to the side of the pathway, so they could both see the aliens and humans walking by, shopping or just enjoying their day. James was enjoying it, that was for sure. It had been simple and predictable, but even following his list had been a good idea.

First he and Keith walked the full length of the booth street. No cars or vehicles drove on the street, because it was lined with booths and stands of food and useless junk, knickknacks from both earth and alien planets. It was remarkable to watch, how Keith could easily converse with the alien refugees, but at the same time had issues communicating with the other people from earth. As if he felt more at home talking to races he wasn't part of.

It was sad that he felt so out of place there, on the planet where he was born, and more at home with aliens who had purple skin, or eyebrows that grew out above their temples and twitched like antennae. James hoped that, maybe with his influence, and the influence of acceptance at the Garrison, that Keith could start to feel more open and at home there.

"Hey," the silence was broken by Keith, who was mixing the tea he had yet to taste with his straw, "Can I... maybe ask you something?"

James shrugged, "Sure."

"... why'd you ask me out?" Keith held the cup in both his hands, propping it against his knees and staring down, "Are you trying to make up for something? Or did someone set you up?"

"What? No, jeeze, what kind of asshole do you think I am?" James questioned with a huff, tensing and looking away, "I asked you out because I wanted to."

"What for?" Keith questioned again, and James sighed heavily, leaning back.

"Jeeze, do I need a reason?"

Keith's shoulders seemed to sag, "Guess I was hoping you did. I mean, I haven't really been out of the Garrison much aside from before when we went on missions, and the medics haven't even cleared me for active duty, so I figured getting out and walking around would be the best I can get until I'm allowed to fly again," he set the cup down on the bench beside him, "Sorry, I guess maybe I took advantage of you, but if this didn't mean anything I shouldn't feel as bad," James opened his mouth as if to speak, but Keith beat him to it, shoulders hunching, "Weird, though, because I do still feel bad. So... sorry."

"I asked you out because I like you, Keith," James said stiffly, "We just won a three year war that killed a third of the population, a war that almost fucking killed you, and me, and a lot of other people, so fuck it. You know what, I asked you out because I like you and I've liked you since high school, okay? I've liked you for years, even when you punched me, and I figured this was my last chance to tell you. I thought I lost my chance when you left the Garrison and disappeared into space, then again when you and your lion fell and... I thought you were dead for a while until Shirogane told us everyone was okay. So I figured this was my last chance. I didn't ask you out from pity, or because you're some hot shot and I was trying to weasel my way into your life for status, or whatever else you may assume. I liked you when you were an obnoxious punk ass brat who couldn't follow rules for shit, and now that you're back, even though you've actually changed a lot, I still like you. Okay? There, I said it."

He folded his arms, a slight scowl on his lips. It was remarkable, honestly, how easy it was to actually get the words out once he'd started. It was like another challenge against Keith, who could confess first. Not that Keith felt any similar feelings, clearly he only agreed to go out with James because he wasn't medically allowed to do much else. Still, that just made James worry more.

"Are you feeling okay?" he tested, and Keith hesitated, "I mean, are you hurting at all? We've been walking around a lot, and I... guess I got so excited I forgot you were only recently let out of the hospital."

"I feel fine," Keith said, lifting a hand to rub at his head, "I, um... I never knew you felt that way."

"Well, I never told you," James mumbled, arms still folded, head bowed and knee bouncing, "Honestly, back then, what would you even have said?"

"Good point," Keith said softly, "I would've just gotten mad at you, more likely than not. I would've thought you were lying or making fun of me or something."

"Yea... and what about now?"

Keith pulled at the edges of his gloves, "I still sort of think you're lying or at least crazy, but... you've changed too. I don't think you'd make light of this kind of thing, especially after a war. Which means... you're probably being truthful in saying you like me, but it's still kind of hard to grasp."

"You don't think you're likable?"

"Not really," Keith sighed out, reaching over to pick up his tea again, stabbing the straw against the bottom of it with hollow thudding sounds, "I mean, no one really seemed to like me before. Then again I never did try to impress anyone back then... and you still liked me anyway, huh?"

"Yea, I guess I did, and still do," James leaned back, head tilting to look up at the sky, "Quite the mess of a crush, I certainly know how to pick 'em."

Keith snorted, holding the cup higher, keeping his head bowed, clinging to the sides of the to-go cup so tightly that drops of condensation dripped down the backs of his fingers. He was silent for a long time, just sitting there, lost in thought before finding the words and opening his mouth.

"I never thought about... having a relationship before. I was sort of busy surviving on my own, but... this was really fun, today. Getting out of the Garrison, talking to familiar faces, seeing your reaction when you ate that food," one corner of his lips curled up, "I guess it was kind of cute. So..."

"So...," James' voice cracked subtly, and he lifted a fist and coughed into it, "I wasn't cute."

"So maybe this would be nice to try," Keith finished, sitting straighter, and James could almost feel the way his mood changed from shy and cautious to tight and determined, that aura he used to echo when he was younger and ready for a fight, "This with us, whatever it is, I want to try it."

"So... that means you like me back or..."

Keith tensed again, lips pressing into a tight line, "I... don't know. I don't know what it's supposed to feel like to... like someone... but I'm having fun, and I don't really feel pressured, and it's easy to be myself around you, so... if I don't like you, why do I feel so comfortable?"

"Pain meds?" James offered, and Keith swayed to the side with a roll of his eyes.

"Just take the fucking compliment, ass."

"Drink your fucking tea already."

James didn't know why he felt so happy. He didn't expect Keith to flat out confess to him, or accept his feelings right away, but the fact he actually wanted to try and maintain this relationship said a lot. He liked James enough to try, and that was so much more than James had ever expected. It made him happy.

"So... um...," James looked over at Keith again to see him hunched over, one hand clinging to his cup, his other arm wrapped around his chest to cling to his upper arm, "I guess... step one of this is being honest about stuff?"

"Sure, I guess. Why?"

"I, uh... kind of lied?" Keith's voice choked a little, and he cleared his throat, "I actually don't feel that great right now. Walking around all day, my head kind of hurts. I'm okay, just sore."

"Oh," James breathed, "I'm sorry, I should've noticed something was up. We should head back to the Garrison so you can rest."

"We still have a few hours of sunlight left, don't we?" Keith asked, sitting straighter again, "I can handle a tiny headache, so I want to spend some more time just with you."

James felt his cheeks burn, but he just smiled crookedly, "Sure... but let's sit here until you're feeling a bit better. Seriously, drink," he waved at the cup, "It's good, and it's healthy. Try it."

Keith huffed through his nose and nodded, lifting the cup, "So I guess this means we're officially dating, right?"

James choked on his own tea, but nodded furiously like it was the best idea he'd ever heard, "Yea, yea! We can come back to Plaht on our days off whenever you're feeling okay, and if you're feeling kind of sick, we can just stay at the Garrison. I'll fill you in on the years you missed."

"Yea, I'd like to hear it," Keith agreed, taking a sip of tea as James continued to talk.

"Cool then, I'll tell you about the MFE's, and how I completely obliterated all your sim scores, and-," he paused when Keith jerked forward, pulling the cup away and slapping a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

James immediately reached over to grab his shoulder and steady him, "Hey, easy. What happened, did you drink too fast? Are you choking?"

Keith just turned to face James, gaping at him with wide eyes, slowly pulling his hand away and opening his mouth to let small black pearl shaped spheres fall out. Then he looked at the cup of tea, and James snorted, leaning back with a gut busting laugh.

"What the fuck...?"

"Keith oh my god!"

"What the fuck was that? Why is there a solid in my fucking liquid?"

"I-it's bubble tea!" James reached over to settle his hands over Keith's, "Those are tapioca pearls! They're good!"

"The fuck kind of tea did you just give me?!"

"Isn't it good, though?!"

"I don't know!"

The rest of the day was slow and peaceful, relaxing in the best way. They walked from bench to bench, buying drinks and snacks. James kept a close eye on Keith as they walked, making a note of his body language and the way he walked. Whenever it seemed like he was slowing or staggering his pace, James suggested they sit down, picking up food and water, at one point picking up something that the alien called a healing herb which he boiled in water and offered to James. When he mentioned it was for Keith, the alien excitedly shoved the cup into his hands.

"It's free! Anything to help the paladin's of Voltron!"

James took that as a good thing, and forced Keith to drink every drop, despite the cringe on his face, "This tastes like shit. I prefer the bubble tea."

"Shut up and drink, it's supposed to help."

Keith mumbled and clung to the cup with both hands, hiding the red tint to his cheeks by burying his face in the rising steam. He wasn't used to being cared for like this by anyone aside from Krolia, so it was somewhat overwhelming, and embarrassing. It definitely showed how much he cared, though. He certainly hadn't been lying about his crush, if his actions meant anything.

"Why are you making me drink gross medicine anyway?"

"I just don't want you to be uncomfortable or in pain."

Yea, Keith figured he'd say that, but he wanted to hear it for himself either way. It made it easier to stomach the bitter flavor. He didn't want to worry James any more than he already had, after all.

They decided to head back home when the sun finally started to settle in the distance. Keith was wobbling on his feet but trying to hide it, so James shed his own coat and draped it around the paladin's shoulders on their way back to the hoverbike.

"I'll drive us back," he decided, not leaving any room for argument as he held his hand out for the keys, which Keith sleepily offered to him, "Hold onto me, okay? Try not to fall asleep or fall off."

Unlike James, who'd been uneasy about clinging to Keith while riding, Keith wound his arms unabashedly around James' waist, hiding his face between his shoulder blades and mumbling a thank you before the engine started. James concentrated as well as he could on the road despite having Keith's arms around him, and when they got home, he had to help Keith off the bike, seeing as he was falling asleep where he sat.

"Geeze you're losing energy pretty fast."

"I'm fine," Keith rubbed at his eyes, but James stayed close to him.

"Need help getting back to your dorm?"

"Hm... I should say yes, shouldn't I?"

"Unless you wanna fall asleep on the way there? Probably."

"Mm, fine."

"Come on," James stepped in front of Keith and crouched down, waiting for Keith to fall against him before standing up, hooking his arms under Keith's knees to keep him steady, "Hold onto me, don't fall off."

"Right," Keith agreed, arms wrapping around James' neck, silent as they walked towards the Garrison.

It was dark out, everyone was either sleeping or tucked into their dorms, so there was no one in the hallways as James carried Keith towards his dorm room. They were both relatively silent, until Keith tugged on his sleeve.

"James."

"Huh?"

"Thanks," James tensed and paused in his steps, so Keith continued quickly, "I mean... I never thought I'd miss earth before, and I didn't miss earth, I really didn't. I didn't even plan on ever coming back, I had nothing here to come back to. I found my mom in space, I found another home with the blades, and the paladins didn't need me for a long time, until...," he stopped, hesitating, squeezing James around the shoulders, "This was a really fun day, though. Having an earth date with you... was fun. I'd like to go on another with you sometime. I want more reasons to stay on earth."

James chewed the inside of his cheek, nodding and continuing to walk, "Sounds fun, but before that, take care of yourself. Sleep, recover. It's like you're suffering from hypersomnia, with how tired you keep getting and how quickly. Promise you'll take a day off, yea? Just to sleep."

Keith seemed to consider it before nodding against James' neck, "Okay. Only if you buy me more of that tea."

James snorted, "Is that all you want?"

"Yea. I liked it. It's weird, but not bad."

"Okay then," James chuckled, "I'll get you more tea. All the tea you want," Keith's breathing had evened out, signalling he'd fallen asleep, and James smiled softly to himself, "I'll take care of you however I can. If buying tea is what helps, I'll do it. Sleep well."

[theprodigypenguin]

Hush

Pairings: Jeith/Jaith (James Griffin and Keith Kogane)

Day two of @jamesandkeith week: Dreams/Nightmares/Fantasies 

Notes: I don’t like how this came out :/ I definitely want to expand more on James, his own PTSD (because don’t make the mistake of thinking he doesn’t suffer from something), and the nightmares he can get because of intense guilt and fear, but I just didn’t have enough time to add what I wanted, so here we go. I might write a 2.0 version of this, longer, later on, because I love the concept, but for now I really hope ya’ll don’t hate this. 

Day One / Day Two / Day Three / Day Four / Day Five / Day Six / Day Seven / Day Eight

Ratings/Warnings: angst, whump

Read it on Ao3 as well!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stay close to me, we don't know what to expect," the words in James' throat felt weird, weighed down, as he crouched down in the dirt outside the hulking and eerily accented black and purple Galra facility, looking over his shoulder towards is three teammates. They were all armed, the lines in their faces set in determination and concentration.

This was supposed to be an easy mission, simple, but the air smelt heavily of iron and rot, metal and oil, and it had James raising an arm above his mouth and nose, squinting his watering eyes as he rose to his feet and moved forward. There was a clock ticking away in his head as he strode forward in stale confidence, knowing that his team would follow. They trusted him after all, he'd never strayed them wrong before, and he'd spent hours, days prior to the mission, planning every last insignificant detail until it made him sick.

It would be an easy go, he knew that, but he was left in complete shock when the facility doors swished open and his vision blacked out. The noise in his ears was muffled, and he tightened his grip on the gun in his hands as he swung back and forth with wide eyes, trying to see the interior of the facility. He couldn't see a damn thing, though, so he felt himself panic, calling out to his team.

"Rizavi! Kinkade! Leif! Regroup and retreat!" he didn't get the responses that he wanted, no sass snapped at him from Nadia or Ina coaxing him into continuing the mission with a fact on why he'd gone blind and why it was fine, or the confirmation of comprehension in the form of a grunt from Ryan.

He got nothing, and suddenly he was blinded by a flash of white light, coiling in on himself and pulling an arm up to shield his face, peeling his eyes open after a moment to find himself outside, back at the Garrison, the sun beating down on him, gun still in his hands. There were rows and rows of seats set up, laced with black ribbon and red spider lilies, and the stage at the front was weighed down with three portraits wreathed with lilies, gladioli, and hydrangeas.

The gun in his hands was suddenly heavy, and he uncurled his fingers to let it fall to the ground, the object hitting the dirt with a wet splash that had him tensing, shoulders trembling as he curled his hands into fists, slowly, fearfully turning his head to cast his gaze to his feet. His stomach lurched up into his throat and caught on the startled scream as he staggered backwards, arms flailing to grab onto the chairs to one side of the aisle.

Dirt and sand and dust was stained crimson with splashes and puddles of thick blood. James' breathing quickened as he looked around frantically, pushing away from the chair and lifting his hands in front of his face, his panic increasing when his eyes caught the sight of dried blood beneath his nails and smeared across his fingers, set into the lines in his palms.

"James," the voice that addressed him was unearthly, gravely, and instinct dragged him away from its source, staggering over the blood slicked ground and towards the stage at the front of the rowed seats, stumbling as he reached it and dragging himself onto it, nails digging into the wood and cracking as he hauled himself up, before getting to his feet, freezing when he realized what exactly the set up was for.

A memorial service, and the three officers they were honoring were... his. His team. Ina, Ryan, Nadia, their faces immortalized within stained frames and pressed beneath glass. James' head spun as he stepped up to the closest stand and photograph, touching the surface with blood stained fingers and smearing red across Ryan's brow before jerking his hand back.

"James," that voice again, and his back went rigid as he started to turn, choking when he managed to face the front.

Each seat was occupied with Garrison cadets and officers, some he recognized, some he didn't, with their heads lifted and eyes locked on him. There were no expressions, just dead eyes and pale skin, and James staggered back as a deep voice rumbled.

"A mission gone wrong, complications arose," he turned his head sharply to see Iverson standing at the microphone, hands on the stand, "Our hearts will not soon forget this pain, and we will honor these fallen pilots with every breath we take. It's only right we continue to live in order to respect them, but I can't help but wonder," his head turned, a glassy eye met James', "Why there aren't four memorials up here, instead of just three."

"What did you do, Officer Griffin?"

He jerked around to see Sam Holt standing on the stage, and opened his mouth to whisper, "What? I didn't... do anything. No, there's no way, no way I would let my team die! Not like this! I planned for days before the mission, I had everything set out!"

"Plans go astray sometimes," that voice broke him more than Sam's had, and he turned a weary head in Keith's direction to see him standing at the edge of the stage, "You're always so uptight, James. Look at what you did," James dropped his eyes to his stained hands, they still seemed heavy, the blood still hot and wet, fingers trembling as he gaped at Keith again.

"I would never do this, please. I didn't mean to. This is a joke, where's my team?" Keith just shut his eyes, and James took a few threatening steps towards him, "Where the hell is my team?!"

Keith's eyes opened and James jerked back at the blood red sclera, thick red tears pooling before cutting down his face, lips parting to release a rush of blood that stained his chin and neck, dampening the front of his shirt in seconds before his knees buckled.

"Keith!" James lunged forward to wrap his arms around Keith before he could hit the ground, craddling him awkwardly as he lowered himself to his knees, which soaked through from blood he couldn't even see, "No, don't do this. Stop, come back, I'm sorry!"

"James...," Nadia's voice had him jerking his head up, once again in the Galra facility, violet lights flickering and broken sentries scattered around the floor.

His three teammates were lying on the ground in front of them, close to one another, as if they didn't want to die alone, blood staining their clothes and pooling around their unmoving bodies, rips and tears in their uniforms. Ina looked so small curled up with her head against Ryan's ribs, hair shielding her face, pale color making the stains of blood far too striking. Nadia's face was turned in his direction, the lenses of her glasses cracked to distort her eyes, which were open, against the gray and yellow of her skin and the blood crusting the corners of her mouth, which moved as if her jaw needed to be oiled.

"Help us... please... it hurts...."

"Nadia," James whispered, looking down to find Keith still in his arms, unresponsive, placid; all forms of dead, "No, no, no."

"He-help... please... James..."

"NO! No, I'm sorry!" James screamed, he broke, he carried Keith unceremoniously over to the rest of his team and fell back to his knees, curling over the unresponsive paladin and pinching his eyes closed tight, keeping one arm curled beneath Keith's shoulders as he reached out the other, attempting to hold all of them, cling to their clothes, ending with himself draped over them, mouth open in a scream.

An apology came tumbling from his lips as he sobbed and shook, begging for his team to come back, begging them not to be dead, his body heavy with guilt and his head nothing but slush as he screamed in distress. Not even the hands that grabbed his shoulders could shake him from his pain.

It wasn't until the floor fell from beneath him, his grasp on his team, his family, failing as they disappeared from his arms and he fell that he jerked upright with a short cry. His body felt cold and heavy with sweat, hair hanging in his eyes and obscuring his already blurred vision. His hands raised to slap onto his face, digging the heel of both palms into his eyes as he sucked in deep, long breathes, relieving the burn in his chest so he could sigh out, shoulders trembling in sudden intervals, breath catching on a hiccup every so often while large, lazy tears continued to heat his cheeks.

"James?" the voice that called him was soft yet cautious, as was the hand that settled onto his shoulder.

He flinched, but slowly let himself relax as he grew more conscious and aware of where he was. At the Garrison, in his dorm room, in his bed, after a hard days work with his team, who were all safe. God he hoped they were safe. Keith was kneeling beside the bed, concern heavy in the set furrow of his brow. He was still half dressed in his paladin armor, though the chest and gauntlets had been removed, showing he'd been in the process of dressing down for bed before James had somehow interrupted him.

"Keith... what time is it?"

"Past midnight," Keith answered, squeezing James' shoulder and leaning back on his heels, "Are you okay?"

"I-yea. I'm fine," James lied, and Keith's frown seemed to deepen as he stood up to remove the rest of his armor, leaving him in only the black undersuit, "You're, uh... getting back late."

"Training ran past due," Keith explained, "The simulation mom programmed kicked our asses and she wouldn't let us leave until we'd beat it at least once."

"Oh..."

"Here," Keith tossed a clean shirt onto the bed as he reached for the zip on the back of his neck to undo the black suit, "Change. You could get sick sleeping in your own sweat."

"Ah," James cringed and picked at the front of his nightshirt, which was heavy and damp.

Honestly he wanted to take a shower, but he was exhausted, so relented to simply stripping the ruined shirt and changing. He balled the old one up and threw it into the hamper beside the door, then looked over at Keith, who was setting his helmet on the desk before turning, fully clothed in sleepwear and joining James on the bed.

James laid back down and scooted towards the wall so Keith had enough room to slide beneath the covers next to him, and for a moment they laid in silence. James just stared at the ceiling with his arms folded over his stomach and his hands clenched in the sheets there, until Keith shifted around and rolled onto his side to face him.

"Have you calmed down a bit more?"

"Huh?"

"You know you're awake? Safe? In our room?" James choked a little, tensing, and Keith eased closer, head falling against James' shoulder, "It's okay. Tell me what happened."

"Just... a bad dream."

"What kind of bad dream? Memory?"

"No, just...," James trailed off, trying to find the right words to explain everything.

Nightmares weren't uncommon between the two of them. Keith had them more often than James did, and they were bad enough that the first time James tried to help, he'd struck out and busted the pilot's lip. It took them both a bit of personal research to understand that when your partner was having a nightmare wrought by PTSD, you had to let them wake up and calm down on their own.

If they were lucky, they'd fall asleep immediately after their breathing had regulated, and wouldn't even remember their nightmare in the morning, but there were times, like this one, where they couldn't get back to sleep.

Normally when James had his nightmares, he didn't remember them. He was the one who woke himself up in a panic before flopping back and passing out almost immediately. Keith was more often than not the one who woke from his nightmares and paced because he couldn't wind back down. Situations like that, James would just hold Keith tightly so he felt safe and secure, and usually that helped.

He rolled onto his side, a shiver running down his spine, and Keith held his arms out, letting James wrap his arms around his waist and hide against Keith's shoulder with a huff, "I'm worried. We managed to make it through three years of war, but so many times I could have messed up and lost my team. I can't do it, Keith. What if I'm not as good a leader as I like to think I am? If I ever lead my team into a situation where they were hurt, or worse-."

"Easy, striker, do you really think you'd ever get them hurt?" Keith lifted a hand to card his fingers somewhat roughly through the back of James' hair, "Look, accidents will happen, and there are casualties in war, but don't ever think that makes you a bad leader. Your team adores you, they trust you with their lives, and even if they did get hurt on a mission, they would probably blame themselves before even thinking of blaming you," he hugged James tighter, "Saying that probably won't help much, you'll still beat yourself up over nothing and have guilt fueled nightmares, but you're not alone, okay? I'm afraid of the same things."

James just sighed and shut his eyes again, "Right. Thanks. Can I maybe stay like this?"

"Yea," Keith hand lessened to rough petting into a gentle caress through his hair, "You've helped me through plenty of nightmares before, it's only fair I let you do the same. Sleep."

James hummed, rubbing his face against Keith's chest, "Thanks, babe. I was probably just missing this, that's why I had a nightmare."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"I'm trying to trick you into not working late."

"Bullshit, if you can cop out of sleeping early because of mission plans and paperwork, I can for paladin simulations and training. Now shut up before I decide to draw on your face as soon as you fall asleep."

"Prick."

"Bitch."

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith week day 1 - confessions

Title: Stars Above the Desert

Word count: 700

Summary: “I had a crush on you, you know,” Keith tells him when they’re lying next to each other in the dust, watching the stars above the desert. “Back when we were both students at the Garrison, I mean.”

James turns his head a little, surprised. “You did?”

“Yeah.” Keith laughs quietly at the memory. “Hard to believe, huh?”

“I had a crush on you, you know,” Keith tells him when they’re lying next to each other in the dust, watching the stars above the desert. “Back when we were both students at the Garrison, I mean.”

James turns his head a little, surprised. “You did?”

“Yeah.” Keith laughs quietly at the memory. “Hard to believe, huh?”

James hums in agreement. “Kind of. You always punch people you like in the face?”

“Not always. Only if they’re jerks.”

They’re facing each other now, eyes locked. James is starting to find it a little hard to breathe, suddenly, with the way Keith’s purple eyes are fixed on his, and god, he’d dreamt of those eyes for all of the past years.

“I was, wasn’t I? A jerk, I mean. I’m sorry. Before you got expelled, I always meant to apologize at some point, but I never did, and then it was too late,” James says quietly. It’s the truth, he has many regrets in life, quite honestly, but never getting to apologize to Keith is definitely high on the list.

Keith exhales. “It’s fine. We were just kids, and I think we both made mistakes. Punching someone in the face isn’t the best way to confront them either, in retrospect.”

“Yeah, that really hurt,” James huffs. “But seriously, what I said back then… it was uncalled for, and I’m sorry. I deserved that punch.”

“If you say so.” Keith smiled. “I’ll accept your apology if you accept mine for hitting you. Deal?”

“Deal.”

They don’t shake hands on it, though. In fact, they still haven’t moved at all, still staring at each other, stars long forgotten. James thinks he might be imagining things, but he feels like even their breathing is in synch. What a stark difference from the way they used to be around each other, it’s kind of funny.

They’re being incredibly open, honest, and James feels like this is his only chance to say everything he wants to say, so he admits, “I had a crush on you too, back then.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You were the cause of some really confusing feelings. I thought I didn’t even like you, imagine what it felt like when my heart suddenly sped up when I saw you.”

James snorts softly. At first, he genuinely thought he just had a very intense hatred towards Keith, to the point where his body reacted to it, but a conversation with his sister made everything look a lot different all of a sudden.

“I really didn’t understand you, or myself for that matter. I think I was envious of your skills, mad because you would push everyone away, and I was kinda pissed at myself for still having a crush on you. Pretty silly now that I look back.”

“No, I get that. I was... bad at letting people in,” Keith says, and damn, he’s really changed since before he disappeared.

If anyone told James’ younger self he’d be lying here with Keith of all people, having a civilized conversation where nobody is being punched, he’d have laughed. Not that’s he’s complaining, though. It’s nice, and he somewhat wistfully finds himself wishing they could’ve done that earlier. From what he knows, Keith didn’t have anyone before Captain Shirogane took him under his wing, and James kind of resents himself for not having made an effort to befriend Keith.

Something must’ve shown on his face, because Keith whispers, “James? It’s okay, really. You don’t have anything to feel guilty for.”

James is still mesmerized by the colour of Keith’s eyes, but Keith finally breaks eye contact and turns so he’s lying on his back again.

Again, James feels like he has to say everything he wants to say, it’s now or never. He takes a deep breath and rolls onto his back as well. “I think I still have it.”

“Have what?”

“The… crush on you. I don’t think it ever fully went away.”

“Huh,” Keith says, and then he’s silent for a while until James thinks his heart might just beat out of his chest from nervousness. “I think… I still have it, too.”

“Huh,” James echoes, and when Keith’s hand hesitantly finds his, he closes his fingers over Keith’s and squeezes gently.

[theprodigypenguin]

Phew, almost done outlining my fics for the jamesandkeithweek, and day 6 I have something super unnecessarily bitter and spiteful planned, but you know what, I deserve it, and people who don't like it can drink a different tea.

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith week day 3 - space

Title: Space Sunrise Word Count: 1100 Summary: “Fine, Keith huffs. “I was trying to ask you if you wanted to go to space in the Black Lion!”

“Have you ever been to space?” Keith asks out of the blue one day.

James blinks at him incredulously a few times before he narrows his eyes. “What kind of question is that? No, I haven’t been to space, I’ve been a little busy trying to defend Earth from some aliens. What, are you bragging now because you’ve been to space and I haven’t?”

And then, Keith actually has the nerve to roll his eyes at him. “No, you moron, I wasn’t trying to brag.”

“Then what were you trying to do?”

“Maybe now I don’t want to tell you anymore.”

“Keith,” James sighs. He’s tired, and he doesn’t exactly have the energy to bicker with Keith now, no matter how much fun it usually is.

“Fine, Keith huffs. “I was trying to ask you if you wanted to go to space in the Black Lion!”

James deflates. “...oh.”

Keith glares at him. “Yeah.”

“I- uh,” James says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I would like to go, actually. If you still want to.”

Keith’s glare disappears and is replaced with a shy smile. “Cool. We can go now, if you don’t have any other plans?”

It’s eight o’clock in the evening, they’ve had a long day, and they’ll have a long day tomorrow. Yes, James has other plans, such as taking a shower, maybe eating something, and then collapsing onto his bed without moving until the next morning, so naturally, he says, “Sure. Yeah. Let’s do that now. Uh… as long as you get us back before we’re needed again tomorrow?”

Keith gives him an unamused look. “Yeah, sure, I promise to bring your boring stuck-up ass back in time. No worries.”

“Well, excuse me for caring about rules,” James huffs, but there’s no real heat behind it.

It sounds a bit surreal, going on an impromptu space trip right now, but honestly… he has seen stranger things at this point, and so he follows Keith who is already making his way to his huge lion shaped spaceship - which also sounds quite fake when he thinks of it like that, but whatever.

The Black Lion is impressive, James has to admit. It’s enormous, inside and out. The cockpit is full of strange symbols, buttons and levers, and James doesn’t understand any of it despite being a pretty damn good pilot himself. Then again, from what he understands, the lions are somehow bonded to their paladins, so maybe it’s something that can only be understood by someone who has the bond to a lion… or maybe Keith is really just that much better than him, but he really prefers his initial theory.

When he takes a closer look at the setup of the cockpit, he laughs as he realizes something.

“What,” Keith immediately wants to know, frowning at him.

“Such amazing tech, so advanced and stuff, yet they didn’t think to add a passenger seat?” James grins.

Keith’s face falls a little, and James instantly feels a little bad for it. “Oh, right… Sorry, I kinda forgot about that. You’ll have to stand, sorry. Unless you don’t wanna go anymore at all..?”

James quickly waves him off. “Nah, don’t worry, I’ll just stand.”

He doesn’t mind standing when he’s about to go to space, no matter how tired he is. Even better, he gets to go to space with Keith, which is honestly more than he’s ever imagined.

A relieved smile spreads across Keith’s face. “Okay, great. Now, hold on tight!”

Space is gorgeous. Once they’re up there, James completely forgets how to speak for a solid five minutes. Keith turns his lion so they’re facing Earth, letting James admire the unique view of his home planet from the outside.

“You like it?” Keith finally asks, looking amused by James’ expression of complete awe.

“Are you kidding?” James asks right back once he’s managed to pick his jaw off the floor. “This is amazing. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful…”

“Just you wait,” Keith tells him, pushing a lever, and the Black Lion goes even faster than before.

At some point, Keith actually flies them through an asteroid field, and James thinks it’s simultaneously the most amazing and terrifying thing he has ever lived through, and that was counting the alien invasion and the enslavement and genocide of a big part of Earth.

It’s exciting and all, but after a while, they’re flying through a pretty dark, empty part of the universe for quite some time, and now that the novelty of being in space has worn off a little and there isn’t anything to focus on in this part of space, James begins to feel even more tired than before.

He stifles a yawn, but Keith still notices. “You can sleep in the back if you wanna. There’s a mat and a blanket in the cabinet over there.”

James hesitates. He kind of really wants to sleep a little, but… they’re in space, he feels like he shouldn’t sleep in space. What if he misses something?

“We’ll be flying through this boring part of the universe for a while longer,” Keith says as if he’s been reading James’ thoughts. “There probably won’t be anything cool til we reach the spot I wanna show you. I’ll wake you when we’re there, promise.”

Staring at Keith for a moment, James considers. Stares out of the window, back at Keith, then at the cabinet with the sleep stuff Keith mentioned, and finally back at Keith again. He sighs heavily. “Yeah, fine, I’ll… do that. Thanks.”

Once he’s lying down, it still takes a few minutes for sleep to claim him because he can’t quite silence the thought of being in space, but in the end, he still falls asleep.

Someone shakes James’ shoulder gently, and he groans and tries to shake the hand off his back, but it remains where it is, giving him another shake.

“James,” Keith whispers, “Wake up. We’re here.”

Sleepily, James opens his eyes and stares up at Keith’s face where he’s crouching beside him. He actually feels a lot less tired than he did before, which leads him to wonder…

“Hey, how long have I slept for?”

Keith blinks in surprise. “Uh, a few hours. Why?”

James pales a little. “Have we been flying all this time?” If they were, how are they supposed to get back in time?

Keith rolls his eyes at him, though. “Relax, we’ve been here for hours. I just wanted to let you sleep a little more, we’ll still make it back in time. Now get your ass up, I wanted to show you something.”

James lets Keith pull him up and towards the window, and what he sees nearly takes his breath away.

Keith has landed the lion on the surface of some planet Earth’s scientists probably haven’t even discovered yet.

And outside, there is the most beautiful sunrise James has ever seen.

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith Week day 7 - Garrison Days

Title: Sharing Burdens Word count: 2500 Summary: Snippets of Keith and James being roommates at the Garrison.  Notes/warnings: Emotional child abuse,  if you want to skip it, skip [It was visiting day, and James was dreading his parents’ visit.] to [“Thank you. I… needed to hear that. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll get over it.”].

James was in the middle of unpacking his suitcase when the door to his new dorm room opened and a familiar person stepped inside.

“Seriously?” he groaned when he realized who it was.

“Yeah well,” Keith growled, “You’re not what I expected to see either.”

He stalked towards the free bed and threw his suitcase under it before turning on his heel and marching right back out of the door.

James was left staring after him. Just great. Out of all people, he’d just had to be stuck with Keith. As if it wasn’t enough that he absolutely destroyed him and everyone else in the simulator, he even had to share his room with that show-off now.  

Avoiding Keith was easy enough, even before they’d had a public fist fight, but even more so after that. James didn’t really see him as the outgoing type, not to mention he didn’t have any friends at all, so the most logical guess was that he spent all his time with Officer Shirogane who had for some reason started to mentor him or something.

James certainly didn’t mind Keith’s absence, as he spent the better part of the day in his dorm studying, when there wasn’t class of course. He would have hated to have to look for a new place to study if Keith had been in the room the whole time because he definitely wouldn’t have stayed.

Keith only got back a few minutes before curfew most of the time, and sometimes, he even snuck back out again when the night patrol had looked into the room and ticked them off as present.

When he did that, James itched to tell him off and remind him of the rules. He always felt nervous when Keith went out after curfew, as if it were himself who could be caught, which annoyed him more than anything considering he didn’t even like the guy. But he also knew it wouldn’t matter if he said anything, Keith was very unlikely to listen either way.

So when Keith disappeared in the middle of the night once again, James just sighed in defeat and turned on his other side facing the wall, trying to go back to sleep.

The unfair thing was that even though Keith spent most of his nights doing anything but sleep, he seemed to be in top shape every morning nevertheless.

James, on the other hand, was always tired, no matter how many hours of sleep he got. It was normal for teens to be tired a lot, according to the internet, and he was a cadet at a military school, so there was a lot of physical exercise that tired him out as well to the point where he barely even made it to the curfew at times. It made sense, he supposed.

What didn’t make sense was how Keith seemed absolutely unaffected by those allegedly normal teenage things. It was like he wasn’t even human.

There was one particularly bad morning; James had stayed up late to finish his homework - he took extra classes because his father was never satisfied, it was never enough, he could always do more - and he’d only gotten about three hours of sleep for the third day in a row.

They were assigned to the simulators that day, and for once, it wasn’t Keith who messed it all up. Instead, James proceeded to crash not only his own fighter but also take two others with him and leave the rest defenceless.

“That was absolutely horrible!” the instructor barked. “You all are gonna do extra drills tomorrow. Thank Griffin for that. Dismissed!”

A collective groan went through the group as they got out of their seats to leave.

“Fuck you, Griffin,” one of the other cadets muttered angrily, shoving him in the shoulder in passing.

James remained seated, the screen in front of him blurred as tears gathered in his eyes. He was sure he looked pathetic, sitting there slumped on his seat desperately trying not to cry, and the thought just made him want to cry more.

Quietly, he sniffled, and flinched when a hand landed on his shoulder hesitantly.

“Hey,” a voice said, and for a moment he wasn’t sure who had spoken because the voice was familiar, but he only ever heard it laced with anger or blatant disinterest. Now, it sounded almost gentle.

“Leave me alone,” James muttered weakly, blinking back tears. His cheeks burned in shame. Of all people, it just had to be Keith who was there to witness this moment of weakness.

The hand fell from his shoulders and the sound of soft steps grew quieter as they moved towards the door, and for some reason, that was when he broke for good and started sobbing uncontrollably.

They never talked about the incident. Keith remained as absent as ever, James threw himself into his studies.

A part of him regretted pushing Keith away because it had been one of the times during which he really could have used a friendly touch and maybe a few kind words. But receiving them from Keith… he couldn’t imagine it. They were nowhere near close enough for that, after all. Keith didn’t have to bother with his issues, and he didn’t have to bother with Keith’s. It was easier that way, wasn’t it?

Except, he was forced to throw that plan out of the window one night when Keith was actually in bed and asleep for once.

James had always been a light sleeper, so he wasn’t really surprised when he woke up in the middle of the night. Taking a moment to figure out what had woken him up, his eyes landed on Keith’s bed.

Keith was moving, sleeping fitfully, and he was… talking in his sleep?

James couldn’t make out what he was saying, and he wasn’t sure what to do. Wake him up? Just let him sleep and hope he calmed down on his own? Pretend he hadn’t woken up in the first place and it wasn’t his problem at all? That last option was stupid, there was nobody he needed to pretend for after all, and he couldn’t exactly fool himself on that one.

He kind of wanted to let the situation resolve itself, but somehow, it seemed cruel to leave Keith alone to deal with his nightmare. His mind kept replaying how Keith had touched his shoulder in what could probably be called a comforting gesture when he’d broken down in the simulator.

“Damn,” he hissed to himself before he threw back the covers and tiptoed over to Keith’s bed.

Now that he was closer, he could make out some of the words Keith was muttering. “Shiro… don’t leave… please…”

Shiro… that must have been Officer Shirogane; James had heard one of the other higher-ups call him that a few times.

James moved his hand and carefully made to touch Keith’s arm, but the second his fingers made contact, Keith shot up in his bed and drove his fist straight into James’ face.

Lying on the floor dazed, James groaned pitifully.

“Griffin?” Keith whispered. “Oh, shit!”

James sat up and gingerly touched his cheek where Keith had gotten him. It hurt, but the punch hadn’t been quite as hard as the time Keith had hit him deliberately. If he was lucky, it wouldn’t even bruise.

Keith moved off the bed and crouched in front of him. He looked pale and tired and his hair was sweaty from the nightmare. His hands were shaking ever so slightly as he hesitantly reached out to James before he seemed to think better of it and withdrew his hand, crossing his arms in front of his chest instead.

“This is the second time you punched me, what the fuck,” James complained, but there wasn’t much heat behind it. He was too tired to be angry, and to be honest, Keith looked like he didn’t need more shit right now.

“Sorry,” Keith said, sounding sincere. “I… didn’t mean to hit you. You just startled me. What were you doing there?”

James shrugged. “You were having a nightmare. I wanted to wake you up, I guess, but that wasn’t very smart.”

“Oh. I- thank you. You didn’t have to.”

James finally picked himself off the floor. It was getting cold and he longed for the warmth of his blanket. “Yeah, well. You gonna be okay?”

Keith nodded, straightening as well. “Yeah, I just need to…” he motioned towards his phone on the nightstand.

“Okay,” James said, stifling a yawn as he climbed back into bed. “Night.”

“Night,” Keith replied, getting back into his bed as well.

The screen of his phone lit up the room for a few seconds, and after a few more, there was a quiet ping that indicated a new message.

There was light for a few moments longer when Keith was probably texting back before the room went dark once again and Keith’s breathing evened out soon after.

Only after Keith had gone to sleep, James was able to fall asleep as well.

It was visiting day, and James was dreading his parents’ visit.

There really wasn’t a point, it always went the same way. They were going to demand he’d show them his grades. They wouldn’t be enough. He would be reprimanded. And then they were going to leave because they’d have the information they came for. It wasn’t like he ever asked about him on a more personal level, after all.

He was used to it.

Except, today was worse. He didn’t know what was going on with his father, but he seemed even less patient and more easily irritated than usual.

When asked about his grades, James handed them over in defeat, already knowing what his father was going to say.

“James, do you realize how much money we pay for you to go to this school? You weren’t good enough for a scholarship, but we’re still giving you the chance to be here. And this is how you show your gratitude? I’m starting to doubt you’re worth the money we’re paying to keep you enrolled here!”

It stung. It shouldn’t have, James had heard the same words over and over again, but it still did. “I’m sorry, I did the best I could-” he tried, but his father wouldn’t hear.

“Well then, obviously your best isn’t good enough.”

His father turned, walking out of the room without even saying goodbye. His mother followed suit, never even trying to defend him. She never had.

The door clicked shut softly and was banged open again only moments later by a positively seething Keith.

“Keith!” James gasped, cheeks turning red in shame as he realized Keith must have heard what his father said to him. “How much-”

“Enough,” Keith hissed, stalking over to James and coming to a halt directly in front of him. “Does he always talk to you like that?”

James nodded, trying to laugh a little, play it off, but it came out weak and pathetic. “Most of the time, yeah. He’s never happy, no matter what I do.”

“Well, he’s an asshole,” Keith told him fervently, and then his eyes widened. “Wait- does he hit you? I swear to god if he’s ever hit you-”

“No, no,” James quickly interjected, before Keith could actually stomp off and murder his father or something, “He’s never hit me. He just says things like… what you just heard. It’s okay, really. I’m used to it.”

Looking a tiny bit calmer but no less murderous, Keith scoffed. “That doesn’t make it better, you know. That’s still not okay.”

“Yeah, I… I know,” James whispered, defeated. He knew, of course, that it wasn’t okay how his father treated him, saw how other parents acted with their children, but it was different to say it out loud. More real, and without the trace of doubt that always accompanied the thoughts he had about this not being alright. Having Keith of all people telling him it wasn’t… for the first time, James felt like he was right and his father wasn’t.

“Thank you. I… needed to hear that. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll get over it.”

Keith didn’t look happy, or like he believed him, but he nodded sharply and didn’t push.

“So,” James started, desperate to change the subject. “Why aren’t you with your parents?”

“Don’t have any,” Keith shrugged, but the way he pressed his mouth into a tight line betrayed the nonchalant way he tried to say it.

“Wait, what?” James asked in bewilderment. Surely, Keith had to have parents?

“Don’t have any,” Keith repeated. “My dad is dead, and I never had a mother.”

As if it were being punched into his mind, James suddenly remembered the words he’d said to Keith before they’d had their fight back then. Oh, god. He really was a jerk.

“I… I’m so sorry,” he told Keith sincerely. “I didn’t know, I swear. I wouldn’t have said what I did back then if I’d known.”

“It’s fine,” Keith said, with an apathy so forced James nearly shuddered. “You couldn’t have known.”

James wanted to say something else, to let Keith know he really was sorry, but he had a feeling silence would be more appreciated at the moment. “Okay. I’m… really tired, kind of, so I’m gonna nap for a bit, but you don’t have to leave.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Keith said, already walking towards the door. “I was gonna meet with Shiro anyway.”

The door was shut softly, and for a frightening moment, James wished Keith would have stayed.

Pilot error.

All the progress he and Keith had made was lost after those two words. They didn’t even go back to their previous antagonistic relationship. Instead, Keith ignored him completely, during the few moments they were both in the room. Keith only was there to get himself ticked off as present at curfew before he walked out again and stayed out all night.

He no longer looked in top shape after nights of no sleep. Now, there were dark circles beneath his eyes, he was pale, and his hair was a mess. His performances in the simulator were abysmal, and even the instructors gave up on yelling at him about it. Instead, they benched him, their top student, no longer good enough to complete the most simple simulations.

It was hard not to feel pity, knowing how much Officer Shirogane had meant to Keith, but James knew Keith wouldn’t want pity, so he focused on the anger instead.

Anger at the Garrison, mostly, for the way they dropped Keith as soon as he no longer performed the way they wanted him to. Nobody even tried to help him, they just benched him and wrote him off. It really wasn’t fair, he thought, how people only ever seemed to be worth something when they lived up to the expectations that were placed on them.

James wondered how long it would be before Keith lost his scholarship, but before it could even come to that, Keith punched Iverson in the face, got himself expelled, and disappeared without a trace.

He was soon going to be assigned a new roommate at some point, James supposed, but for now, all he could do was stare at Keith’s empty bed, wondering if he was going to be alright.

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith week day 4 - hoverbike

Title: Speeding Word count: 1k Summary: James hates breaking the rules. Keith knows James hates breaking the rules. And sneaking out at night to ride a goddamn hoverbike most definitely counts as breaking the rules. Yet, Keith is currently standing in the door fully clothed, goggles his head and a second pair dangling from the hand he’s holding out to James, and a borderline manic grin on his face.

James hates breaking the rules. Keith knows James hates breaking the rules. And sneaking out at night to ride a goddamn hoverbike most definitely counts as breaking the rules. Yet, Keith is currently standing in the door fully clothed, goggles his head and a second pair dangling from the hand he’s holding out to James, and a borderline manic grin on his face.

Keith also knows for some reason James can’t say no to him, and it really isn’t fair how he chooses to use that knowledge.

“Keith, c’mon, you can’t be serious,” he groans, knowing fully well how serious Keith is about it.

Keith doesn’t even bother saying anything, just keeps holding out the goggles for James to take, staring at him without even blinking.

“Keith…” James tries again, weakly, but determined not to go down without a fight.

No response.

“God damnit, fine,” James snaps, snatching his jacket from the coathanger and taking the goggles from Keith as he shoves past him out of the door.

Keith catches up with him within seconds, and James doesn’t even have to look at him to know there’s an incredibly smug look on the asshole’s face.

“If we get caught, you’re dead,” James hisses at him, unsure about who he’s more irritated by, Keith, or himself for always cracking when Keith tries to rope him into something.

“You should consider removing that stick up your ass, Griffin,” Keith replies easily, clearly not even bothered by the comment.

Not for the first time, James wonders how they went from insulting each other with the lowest shots imaginable and punching each other in the face to… this. Keith’s only opened up since Officer Shirogane started actively spending time with him, and James is quite grateful for it. Keith accepted James’ awkward apology about the uncalled for comment about his dead parents and even apologized for throwing a punch, even though James kind of deserved it. And now… James has to admit, Keith isn’t so bad. Somehow, they’re friends now, which apparently means James has to be dragged into all kinds of nonsense he’d most definitely prefer not doing. But of course, his opinion doesn’t count one bit when it comes to that.

He sighs heavily, accepting his fate once again. He agreed to it after all, so there’s no use in complaining now.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” James complains when he’s presented with that… thing that looks like an absolute death machine, especially if Keith’s the one driving - or flying, or whatever - it.

“Relax, Shiro taught me how to ride it,” Keith explains easily, looking more excited about being on the hoverbike than he’s looked about pretty much anything else since James met him, which is honestly about the only reason why James even considers going along with this.

His reluctance must be more than obvious, because suddenly Keith is frowning a little, looking away uncertainly. “I mean… if you really don’t want to, you don’t have to. But I’d make sure nothing happens to me, trust me.”

And that’s what tips the scales, really. James… does trust Keith. It’s crazy, and he probably shouldn’t, but he does, for some reason unbeknownst to him.

“I trust you,” he decides, already knowing it won’t be long before he comes to regret his choice as he’s climbing on the hoverbike behind Keith.

“Thank you,” Keith says, soft and unguarded, and it’s almost enough for James to drop all the doubt he has about the whole thing. Almost.

But Keith is warm and James can smell his hair from where he’s pressed closely to Keith’s back, partly because there isn’t much room on the seat, partly because he has his arms wrapped tightly around Keith’s middle so he won’t fall off.

Then, Keith starts the engine and suddenly they’re above the ground and speeding past the rocks in the desert, and it isn’t as horrible as James thought it was going to be. In fact, it’s kind of a good feeling, the wind in his hair, the landscape passing by in a blur, the sensation of freedom, and Keith.

Keith laughs joyfully, which is kind of a small miracle because Keith never laughs, and the sound is enough to make James’ cheeks heat up, and damn, when did his crush get this bad?

And then, Keith is steering straight towards a cliff.

“Keith, what the hell are you doing?!” James yells, voice nearly drowned out by the wind. Suddenly he’s reminded why this was a bad idea, an absolutely terrible idea, and Keith is an absolute nutcase.

“Trust me,” Keith screams back at him, and maybe that statement was enough to get James onto the hoverbike in the first place, but it certainly doesn’t work nearly as well when they’re nose-diving off a fucking cliff at full speed.

James isn’t even able to scream, all the can do is holding onto Keith for dear life and hoping for whatever mighty being there is to save them.

The mighty being turns out to be Keith himself as he pulls the hoverbike up in the last possible moment before they shatter on the ground and they safely continue dashing over the sand before Keith finally slows them to a stop.

“Keith, I swear, I’m going to murder you,” James tells him weakly. His entire body suddenly feels like jelly and he lets himself collapse limply against Keith’s back, burying his face against Keith’s shoulder from behind. His arms are still locked around Keith, and he doubts he’ll be able to let go anytime soon. With how badly he’s shaking from the adrenaline, he’s sure he’d fall right off the hoverbike if he tried.

“Shiro was teaching me how to do it,” Keith recounts proudly, completely ignoring the death threats he just received. “I only nailed it for the first time yesterday.”

James chokes. “You- you’ve only been doing this for the second time and thought it was a good idea to drag me along?!”

“Yeah. But it worked out fine, didn’t it?”

James can’t find the strength to argue. Instead, he just keeps his head where it’s resting quite comfortably against Keith as they’re flying back to the garrison at a more reasonable speed, wondering once again why he’s even friends with Keith.

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith week day 5 - Shiro

Title: Second Chance Word count: 1100 Summary: James wants Shiro to like him if he’s going to date his little brother

“Dude, why do you keep staring at Captain Shirogane like that?” Rizavi asked when James glanced at the Captain out of the corner of his eyes one too many times and not as secretly as he’d thought.

“I’m not staring at him, shut up,” James hissed, actively trying not to blush, which was kind of stupid when he thought about it because he had never actually met anyone who had been able to control whether they blushed.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. “If you aren’t, then why is your face red?”

James needed new friends.

A little too quickly, he stood, nearly sending his chair toppling over in the process. “You guys are terrible. Now excuse me, I’ve got… stuff to do!"

Marching out of the room, he tried not to make eye contact with anyone, not his friends, and certainly not Captain Shirogane. He nearly headed towards the training facilities but remembered in time that Keith was there more often than not, so he turned on his heels and went for the hangar. He couldn’t just take his fighter and go out for some flying without permission, and he wasn’t Keith after all, but he could still wash it or something.

He was in the middle of scrubbing his fighter with a sponge when he heard someone approach and didn’t even have to guess who it was.

“What do you want, Ryan?” he asked curtly, not even bothering to turn around to face him. He’d thought he had made it quite clear he wanted to be alone - because of course he knew they didn’t believe his half-assed excuse - but of course, his friend had to show up anyway.

“Tell me what’s up,” Kinkade told him, and it wasn’t even nearly a question. And Kinkade could be stubborn, that much James knew.

But so could he, quite honestly. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Stop being a dick. This is about Keith, isn’t it?”

James nearly dropped his sponge and hoped sincerely his hair would hide his ears that were very obviously bright red with how they were burning.

“I thought this was about the Captain, how did we get to Keith?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“You know what? Fine,” James half-yelled, throwing the sponge to the floor in frustration and hopping off the fighter to stand in front of Kinkade. “I need him to like me, okay? I can’t read the Captain, at all. I have no idea if he likes me, respects me, hates me, or if I even exist to him. I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me!”

“Why would he hate you? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who randomly hates people, you know,” Kinkade moved, but James just groaned, frustrated his friend wasn’t getting it.

“It’s not random, that’s the problem,” James cried. “He was already friends with Keith when we had that huge fight in our first year here, he knows what kind of shitty things I said to Keith back there. And we weren’t the best of friends after that, either.”

Kinkade hummed in understanding. “And now you want him not to hate you because..?”

James stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Are you this stupid or are you just pretending to be? Keith is basically his little brother. And everyone knows big brothers are scary protective!”

“Ah,” Kinkade said simply, and James really didn’t like it. “So you finally admit you have a crush on Keith.”

And shit, he played himself. “I… never said that.”

“Whatever you say. Look, just get your shit together, Griffin. I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. That incident happened years ago when you were both kids. You’ve grown up, he knows that. He won’t blame you for being a jerk back then anymore. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance.”

James hated to admit it, but Kinkade has a point. Captain Shirogane does seem like a reasonable person, he probably wouldn’t hold any grudges, would he..?

“Ugh,” James complained. “I hate this!”

“I know,” Kinkade said, patting James on the shoulder comfortingly before he headed for the exit. “Remember to get your shit together.

That evening, James decided to get his shit together for real, as Kinkade had put it so eloquently.

“Captain Shirogane? May I talk to you in private for a moment?”

“Sure,” the Captain replied, giving him a friendly smile as he got up and followed James out of the door and to a more private room. James hoped he’d still be as friendly when he figured out James’ feelings for his baby brother.

Captain Shirogane closed the door and looked at James expectantly. “So, what did you want to discuss?”

“I… uh-” Suddenly, words failed him. He hadn’t exactly prepared a speech, but he had gone over what he wanted to say a few times that afternoon, but somehow, he’d forgotten just about everything.

“If I may,” Captain Shirogane interjected gently, an amused smile on his lips. “I wanted to talk to you as well, so I can go first, if that’s alright. I have a feeling it’s about the same thing.”

“Y-yeah, sure,” James muttered, embarrassed, and then added, “uh, sir!” quickly when he realized he’d forgotten.

Captain Shirogane watched him with an unreadable gaze. “Are you serious about Keith?” he finally asked.

“I- we-” James stuttered, completely caught off guard. “Keith and I aren’t…”

“I know,” the Captain said, “But you could, if you two just stopped dancing around each other. Don’t worry, I told Keith the same thing.”

Now that was… “Does that mean-”

Captain Shirogane sighed. “It’s not my decision who Keith gets to be with, but even if it were, you’re a good guy, Griffin.”

There was a pause, Captain Shirogane contemplating his next words, and James just completely and utterly speechless.

“Look,” the Captain finally said, “Just… please don’t ever hurt him intentionally, and don’t just leave him one day without warning or an explanation. He’s been through enough in the past.” And he only just learnt how to trust again, that went unspoken, but James knew nonetheless.

“I also know you’ve been through a lot, so be good to each other. Talk. Better one time too many than not enough. Talk about problems, and about your happiness. You never know-” the Captain cut himself off with an odd glint in his eyes, and James had a feeling he was witnessing something he wasn’t meant to see, so he averted his eyes and nodded slowly.

“I- yes. I’m very serious about him. Thank you,” he said, offering Captain Shirogane a small smile of gratitude.

As he left the room and walked through the hallway, he mulled over the Captain’s words. Talk one time too many instead of not enough, he’d said.

James took a deep breath to steel himself before he made his way to the training facilities. He had to talk to Keith.

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith Week day 6 - Pining

Title: Strange New Feelings Word Count: 1300 Other Ships: Shiro/Adam, Broganes Summary: Shiro is willing to help Keith with any problem he has. He just hadn’t expected the problem to be romance related. 

It was understandable that Keith talked about James right after the fight they’d had. It was also understandable that he talked about him for a few days afterwards, Shiro supposed. He was probably still angry at him, so that was fine.

But when it had been three weeks and Keith still started nearly every single of their conversations with something James had done that annoyed him

At first, Shiro hadn’t given it much thought, simply indulging Keith when he went off about that Griffin boy, but now it seemed a bit strange for Keith to be that… obsessed with him.

“Keith… I don’t mind you telling me all of this but why is it you notice James so much but never any of the other kids?” he asked carefully once Keith was done with another rant. He sincerely doubted Keith even knew any of his other classmates’ names, so the question was justified, wasn’t it?

But Keith stared at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Are you kidding? He’s just… ugh, he’s so irritating. I can’t help but notice him when he’s always so annoying,” Keith complained, making a face. “He’s always super fussy about following the rules and getting good grades and not talking shit at the teachers, who does that?!”

“Language,” Shiro reminded him, ignoring Keith rolling his eyes at him. “I just mean, you don’t care about what anyone else does. Nobody else annoys you. Why does he?”

Keith opened his mouth, then gave the question some actual thought and closed it again. “I…” he said, looking at a loss all of a sudden. “I don’t know? I dunno why I notice him that much, I just kinda do, I guess. I mean, it’s not even like he does anything to annoy me directly,” he muses. “It’s just that everything he does is annoying.”

“Alright,” Shiro said, sounding something between amused and exasperated. “It’s not nice to talk about your classmates like that, you know.”

Keith just snorted. “Yeah, yeah. It’s not my fault he’s annoying.”

Shiro sighed but decided to let it go. He wasn’t getting anything else out of Keith today, that much was obvious. “So, hoverbike?”

“Shiro?” Keith asked one day, sounding shy and insecure in a way he hadn’t in a long time, so Shiro was worried almost instantly.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?” Shiro inquired, giving Keith his full attention. “Did something happen?”

Keith didn’t meet his eyes, instead, he kept playing with the strings of his hoodie, and… was he blushing?

“Keith,” Shiro said gently. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I was just wondering..:” Keith mutters hesitantly, but falls silent once again. “Nevermind. It’s dumb, I’m just gonna-”

“Keith.”

“Ugh, fine. I was gonna ask… how did you know you like Adam? Like like him, I mean.”

And just like that, the penny dropped. “Oh .”

Shiro coughed awkwardly. Out of everything, he hadn’t even considered this would be relevant just yet… although, now that he thought about it, Keith was an age at which most kids started being interested in someone. It had just been so easy to ignore with Keith, because Keith didn’t even attempt to make friends, let alone show any interest in anyone romantically. Keith wasn’t interested in anyone at all. Except… Oh.

Realizing he still owed Keith an answer, he put his hand to his chin in thought. “Well… I began to notice a lot of things about him. Physically, obviously, for example, that I really liked the way he styled his hair, and how soft it looked. And his eyes, they’re one of the most gorgeous features of his. Sometimes I felt like I was going to get lost in them,” he recounted. laughing when he noticed the mildly horrified look on Keith’s face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all sappy on you. There were other things too, of course. I noticed how he always adjusted his glasses when he got nervous, he has his own special way to do it. I noticed how he drank his coffee, and where he liked to sit in class.”

Shiro smiled at the memory. Adam hadn’t been his first crush, but definitely the most serious one. “Once, we got coffee together and I was there earlier, so I already bought his too. When he arrived, he asked me how I knew how he drinks his coffee.” He laughed. “That was kind of embarrassing, I think I told him it had just been a good guess, and then quickly changed the subject. I was kind of awkward, back there.”

Keith still looked sceptical, though, so he added, “But that’s not the way it has to be, you know. That’s just how it was for me. For you, it might be completely different.”

Keith scowled at him. “So you’re saying there’s no sure way of knowing if I like someone? That doesn’t exactly help me, you know,” he complained.

“I think it’s best not to think about it too hard. I’m no expert, but I think it’s something you’ll just know. There’s no universal way to go about it, and I’m afraid you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.” He reached out to ruffle Keith’s hair, and Keith let it happen for a few seconds before shaking him off.

“Thanks, I guess,” Keith sighed. “I gotta go now. Still got homework. See you tomorrow.”

“Sure, but don’t stay up too long,” Shiro told him before he could disappear from the room. “And don’t worry about it too much. Things like this usually work themselves out.”

Shiro started paying closer attention to Keith when they were with the other cadets. He still wasn’t interacting with anyone besides some curt replies when he was asked a question, but he did space out a lot.

That wasn’t unusual per se, Keith often spaced out, and most teachers had given up on calling him out for it since he still got above average grades no problem. The only difference now was that he usually stared out of the window when he was daydreaming.

Now, he was always staring at the same thing, or rather, the same person.

James Griffin.

It was kind of sweet, actually. James would be doing something, usually small things barely worth noticing, and Keith would be watching his every move, and he wasn’t even being subtle about it.

His expression was what kept everyone else from figuring him out, Shiro supposed, and he had to give him credit for it. His face was still as impassive as ever, seeming aloof and disinterested, and most people were probably mistaking his staring for spacing out staring at nothing.

But Shiro had background knowledge, and the longer he watched Keith, the more obvious it became he’d been right when he’d suspected James was the one Keith was had been talking about when asking about Shiro and Adam.

Watching Keith was fun, but observing James every now and then was also worth doing. James rarely spaced out, he was way too focused on his grades for that. But every now and then, Shiro would catch him doodling something on the sheet of paper in front of him for a few seconds, glancing at Keith from the corner of his eyes before quickly erasing the doodle and focusing on the teacher instead.

First crushes were an amazing thing, Shiro decided. They were sweet and innocent and if things went well and your feelings were reciprocated, you could figure things out together. And from the way it looked, Keith had a pretty good chance at having his feelings reciprocated.

Years later, Shiro returned to Earth with one arm less, his hair looking as if someone had taken a picture of it back on Earth then inverted the colours, and a whole bunch of teens he had come to consider family.

He was a war veteran, he’d lived through torture, gone through all kinds of crazy stuff in space, hell, he’d died up there.

So he really, really felt like he didn’t deserve having to watch the man he considered a little brother and his first crush going right back to dancing around each other without either of them actually making a move, again.

“I swear to god, Keith...”

[thisfairytalegonebad]

Jaith/Jeith day 2 - nightmares

Title: Sleepless Nights Word count: 800 Summary: They both have nightmares.

“Keith? Keith, come back, you’re okay!”

Keith is breathing harshly, sitting up in his bed as he only slowly starts to notice his surroundings. It’s dark, but the moon is shining through the window glass, giving everything a pale tint. He’s in bed, legs covered by the blanket, but his upper half is left bare, and he shivers as he realizes how cool it is in the bedroom.

Unconsciously, he pulls it up some more before he turns his head towards the person sitting next to him.

James.

“I’m… I’m back,” Keith whispers after a few missed beats.

James releases a breath he’d been holding. “Okay, good. Lie back down?”

With a slow nod, Keith complied, lowering himself back down onto the soft mattress. He lies there on his back for a while, staring up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. Next to him, James moves to find Keith’s hand.

“Shiro again?”

“Yeah,” Keith whispers. He has nightmares about a lot of things, but… Shiro’s clone trying to kill him is definitely high on the list. Biting his lip, he catches himself glancing at the phone on his nightstand from the corner of his eye.

Of course, James catches on immediately. “Wanna call him?”

Keith shakes his head, though. “He’s probably asleep anyway, it’s in the middle of the night.” Plus, he doesn’t think hearing Shiro’s voice right now would do him any good, but he doesn’t say it. Instead, he rolls on his right side and shuffles closer to James until he’s close enough to rest his head on James’ shoulder, face nearly buried against his neck.

James turns his head so he can press a kiss on Keith’s head. “Really? You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith sighs tiredly. “Thanks, James. For being here.”

“Yeah, sure,” James whispers back, never letting go of Keith’s hand.

Most of the nights in which Keith doesn’t have nightmares, James has them instead.

He doesn’t bolt upright like Keith does, and he doesn’t scream or yell either. His eyes just open wide and he’s suddenly fully alert, feeling hyper-aware of his rapid heartbeat and too fast breathing.

Carefully, to avoid waking Keith next to him, he sits up and reaches blindly for the bottle of water on his nightstand. After a few sips, he feels a little better already, so he leans out of the bed a little to put the bottle back on the nightstand.

When he goes to lie back down, Keith stirs next to him. Shit. He can’t even be quiet enough to let his boyfriend sleep, couldn’t do shit against the Galra, wasn’t even able to save his family. How he hasn’t gotten his entire team killed yet really is beyond him, these days, he truly feels like he can’t do anything.

There’s the overwhelming urge to check up on his team, to text each of them to make sure they’re all in bed safe and sound, and not being killed, tortured or enslaved. When he closes his eyes, he still sees the images his mind came up with in his dreams, and it doesn’t even matter none of it ever actually happened to one of his friends. He’s seen it happen enough to other people, it’s not hard to imagine.

He quickly presses his hand over his mouth, hard enough for it to hurt, but it’s not enough to quite stifle a choked sob.

Next to him, Keith is waking up for good, sitting up sleepily as soon as he catches on. “Hey, you okay?”

James sniffles. “I…” he trails off, he really wants to lie, tell Keith he’s fine and try to go back to sleep, but he’s already crying pathetically so there isn’t really any point in it, is there.

“You wanna tell me about it?”

“No, it’s just…” James sighs in defeat, breath hitching since he’s still crying. “Same as always, really. No point in it.”

Keith nods understandingly. “Okay. I won’t force you. Think you can go back to sleep, or should we get up? It’s a little early, but the sun is already starting to rise, so…”

James wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and makes a face. He still feels bone tired, and the thought of a few more hours of sleep is definitely tempting.

“I’m… not okay,” he admits, belatedly, and not an appropriate reply to Keith’s most recent question, but he feels like he has to say it. He trusts Keith with his life, after all. He can trust him with his emotions.

He moves, so he’s lower on the bed, and cuddles up against Keith who is lying on his side, with his face buried in Keith’s stomach and his arms wrapped around Keith’s middle. “But I will be.”

Keith doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around James’ head protectively, and James is asleep within seconds.