#javi martinez x you

[ultrone]

𓂃  ⊹ javi's older sibling hcs 🪽

general :p

you're javi's older sibling by four years; you being a senior and him being a freshmen. as the firstborn, your dad obviously taught you everything he knew about soccer from a young age, and you grew up to become one of the best soccer players at wiskayok high school. this worked well for javi, who isn't into soccer but prefers calmer sports like badminton.

the large age gap between your brother and you caused the two of you to distance yourselves from each other a little bit as you grew up. you had your group of friends and teammates, and he had his own. however, you've always tried to maintain your relationship with him and often hang out at home, or go out together when neither of you have anything to do.

for instance, something that kind of turned into a tradition between you both was watching a movie nearly every night after dinner—unless there was homework. this all started because usually, after dinner, you'd naturally head to the living room to read a magazine or chat on the phone with a friend. but one day, you were both bored, decided to watch a movie together, and it stuck. as simple as it was, every night became movie night for you—if there was one thing javi and you had in common, it was having a similar taste in movies. your parents would get a bit grumpy sometimes since it was past javi's bedtime, but who cared? your dad would go to bed at like 9:30 pm anyway lmaooo

and if your dad was generous with some cash, you'd bring javi along to the movies on weekends. travis, your cousin, worked there, but he had always been a jerk, so he hardly hooked you up with discounts, despite having an unlimited 40% off on everything 🙄

"if you bring me one of those mags uncle bill hides under his bed, maybe i'll think about it," travis said with a sly smile.

"dude, there's a kid in the room," you exclaimed, covering javi's ears in playful shock. “but why don’t you ask your dad to let you borrow his, anyway? oh wait, he left you 😬”

you’d also go to the local arcade frequently. most of the time, you'd find him there instead of going there with him. that boy had a serious obsession with pinballs and street fighter 😭

you’re very protective of him. once, some older kids tried to bother him, not for any reason, just because he's reserved and introverted—easy prey for bullies. of course, you scared them off the next day. you're not usually full of yourself, but being the co-captain of the yellowjackets has its advantages. plus, people know he's travis' cousin, so they steer clear knowing he has anger issues. if only they knew he doesn't give a single fuck about you or javi… 😭😭

you have a secret handshake that you created when you were kids; you always do it before you leave for school, or after a long day of not seeing each other.

in the wilderness. . .

when your dad passed away, it really shook both of you. because of soccer, you had always been a bit closer to your dad than javi, as you spent more time with him. javi had always been closer to your mom. nonetheless, he had a terrible time as well. in the first few days, neither of you said a word to each other as you needed time to process everything. although you always kept an eye on him from a distance, no matter how tough it got.

the only thing you wanted to do was curl into a ball and let the earth swallow you whole, but you couldn't because, as much as you wanted someone to lean on, you had to be there for your younger brother, especially considering how sensitive he was. as a little keepsake for him, you took your dad’s ring, the one he always wore, and a leather string from one of his fancy shoes you found in his suitcase, and made a necklace for javi—which he loves and has worn ever since. the moment you handed it to him was when you two patched things up after what happened and grew closer than ever.

he's very artistic and imaginative, usually expressing himself through drawing using sheets of paper shauna would let him borrow. however, he then took an interest in carving. at first, he was terrible at it, but due to the circumstances and being bored out of his mind, he started spending entire afternoons practising. eventually, he got good and started coming up to you to show you some of the miniature animals he carved. he made a bunch for you, which you keep next to your makeshift bed <33

he actually carved a special one for each of you and told y’all that they were luck amulets to keep you safe 🥹🥹 he was shy about it, though, so he secretly placed them on each person's spot with a small note while everyone was outside. for instance, he carved a deer for lottie, a wolf for nat, a bear for shauna, etc etc…

he even carved a tiny net and soccer ball and put them on top of your dad's grave :(

when both of you are bored, you often play "guess who?" by drawing people with a stick, tracing them on the dirt or snow behind the cabin.

y’all stopped for a while, though, because there was a time when mari was assigned to take the pee bucket to the cliff for two weeks, and you thought it’d be hilarious to draw a saddened mari doing the dreaded chore 😭😭 coach ben caught y’all laughing at it, and as a punishment, y’all had to do the pee bucket duty for a WHOLE month 😔☠️ (which actually leads you to think that mari’s the nasty ass bitch who shat in the bucket 😒 you have no proof but you have no doubts either, plus she has a motive: REVENGE)

when the two of you were little, you invented a secret language that you used to communicate with each other when you didn’t want anyone else to understand you, which comes in handy when y’all are in the cabin with everybody. you use it when you want to share a joke or gossip lmaooo—y’all try to be careful though, because you never know when misty’s ass will learn to decrypt it and catch your asses 🙄

when doomcoming came around, he made you both crowns to wear with sticks and flowers he found around the woods, and your initials carved in the middle of your respective crowns.

you’re the person in charge of trimming his hair when it grows too much. you realized it was time to test out your barbering skills when you spotted him from behind and briefly mistook him for one of the jv yellowjackets 😭☠️

“can i get a low taper fade this time?” he joked. “bitch, you’re lucky if you get a decent haircut,” you said. “i’m not responsible for any injuries or infections you might get from this rusty ass blade.”

the first time you cut his hair, he didn’t talk to you for three days because van said he looked like sharon osbourne LMFAOOO it wasn’t even that bad like c’mon 😭😭

ᰔ javi & travis’ middle sibling hcs coming soon…

[lacyscabinet]

[lheautontimoroumenos]

I stopped caring 'bout a month ago / Sincе then it's been smooth sailing.

Javi & Travis in YELLOWJACKETS (2021-) / Noah Kahan, Homesick

[undercoverpena]

v. a new day

javier peña x dea! f!reader | chapter five of nowhere to run

Summary: Determined to do it better this time, Javier Peña returns to Bogotá to take down the Cali Cartel. With a new promotion, office and team, what he doesn’t expect is the pretty thing outside his office—or why they’re not allowed in the field. chapter warnings: season three narcos spoilers. no use of y/n. smut. oral sex (man receiving), angst. bit of emotions are coming outttttt. Wordcount: 6.3k AN: apologies for the lateness, my personal life has just been throwing things at me and I didn't want the emotions to bleed in when i was editing. also, if there's errors, i'm so sorry, i have had no sleep. pls forgive me. as always, huge thank you to @yeyinde who allows me to ramble continuously and to @guyfieriii who is on her way to get me a magazine and send it to me. I adore you both.

series masterlist

“I can’t believe you caught him?”

“Me neither.”

You lean back, eyes wide, twisting the cord around your finger.

“I did call you—last night. After we’d seen him. Rang your place, work...”

Swallowing, you smile. “I, um—“ 

Looking up as Peña steps out of his office, sliding his tie through the loop, eyes staring over you. Drinking you in. Making every part of you burn up under his gaze. 

“—had a date.”

“Oh. How did it go?”

Biting your lip, you watch him. How his brows furrowed, letting your eyes descend down before noticing his tie. How it sat off-centre—all threaded in a rush. 

You suspect he’s been ordered to attend a meeting. One likely about the day's events, one with a lot of Colombians, officials and higher-ups. So, you gesture. 

The corners of your lips slightly rise, watching his smile slowly grow.

“It was good. Nice.”

Van Ness snorts. “You going to see them aga—actually, fuck this, I don’t think I wanna hear anymore.”

“Wasn’t about to tell you, Van Ness. Hey—I have to go, please be safe.”

“Always am.”

“Says the man catching Narcos—anyway, Stoddard is here, speak soon.” 

“He best not be making you drinks…”

“Promise he isn’t.” 

You place the phone down, standing up as Peña comes to a halt barely an inch away from you. 

“That my name now? Stoddard.”

“Well, you’re struggling to sort your own tie, does seem a Stoddard thing to do, sir.”

He twitches his fingers at his side. Has been doing so since he guided Gilberto out to the flashing lights and clicks of cameras.

The significance of what they’d done—what he had done—crashed into him. Not knocking him off his feet, not even knocking him off his axis. But it kickstarted something.

It truthfully only slid over him when he slid into the seat of a car. 

They’d done it. Proved that surrender wasn’t the only option—that they could be caught. Because they had caught one of them. The ones they all said were untouchable. Right in his fucking home, hiding away. 

A new lease of life spreads as Javi swallows. A thrum of energy, one which has been missing since before he was sent back to the States, rippling through him as though it had never gone. Disturbing the regret he’d been feeling since… 

They’d done it. The thought rolls around, his finger occasionally stroking his bottom lip—sometimes pinching his thigh as the streets flash past the window. Doing so even as his knee hits the door, needing to, just to be certain he’s awake, and not dreaming. 

The truth it’s all a reality weaves into his muscles, the adrenaline bursting into his bloodstream—beautifully blending with the newly rejuvenated oxygenated cells that swim to his heart.  

He knows there's a shitstorm waiting for him at the embassy. For what he’d done—but, then, they hadn’t really wanted him here for the accolades.

Stechner hadn’t vouched for him because he’d been a rule-follower. More someone to blame, to use.

And now, he’d shown them the sheer proof that it could be done—the surrender could be nil and void. They could get more.

That’s what he’d thought as he had hammered his knuckles into Martinez’s door, pulling on a string marked ‘do not touch’. Hoping he’d be forthcoming—that he’d trust him to work alongside him. 

Javi hadn’t been sure if a speech on how much he wanted to do right would make up for what had already transpired. Less excuses spoken, and more acknowledged errors that he’d been determined—foolishly so. Blinded and only seeing through tunnel vision. Focused on the wrong thing; determined, but for what? None of it became clear even when he’d sat in his childhood home—or stood out in the field. The more he looked for answers, the less weight his reasonings had—the fewer excuses he could grasp at why he’d let things poison and ruin. 

In the end, he was grateful he hadn’t needed to spout any of that. The sheer opportunity that Javi had brought it to him, had been enough. 

Not sure any of his truthful ramblings would have made sense, anyway.

It was a true second chance. A hope which had been living in some recess, brushed off and placed front and centre at his feet. His hand outstretched, watching as Martinez shook his—a truce, of some sort, a promise. Maybe, in the smallest way, an element of forgiveness—not that Javi would allow it. It didn’t mean he’d squander or wreck it either, using it to stand a little taller and ensure his shoulders were a little more square. 

It’s why he takes a moment when the car pulls up outside the building. Sitting, spreading his palms in long strokes over his thighs. Catching his breath. 

He can already feel how things have changed. Already knows there will be faces turning when he steps inside, the burden of it meeting his shoulders again. Having temporarily moved it, placed it on the floor while he focused on what needed to be done. Now, the music was playing, and the true heaviness of what a second chance meant began to rest on his bones. The true power of doing good didn't just provide accolades, but gifted in moon-eyed agents and hopefulness he felt guilty squashing. 

It begins when he steps down the embassy stairs, bodies stopping, turning. His cheeks warming, ears burning as they murmur and mutter. Focusing on it, while another part blindly wants to ignore it as he enters the office. It’s why the first clap doesn’t register. 

It takes a moment, the applause slowly raining around him, covering him. Layering in thick noise that soaks into his skin and makes him feel cold, rather than joyous. 

The worst thing is, deep down, he knows there’s an old version of him who would have smirked at all of this. Who’d have relished in it. Likely lifted his chin, and shook each hand—man or woman—rather than sinking his chin to his chest like he’s currently doing. Trying to shy from it, get through them all as they begin to move closer, ready to congratulate him—shake his hand. 

A part of him knows he should be glad. Should be proud he has somewhat earned the notoriety he walks around with now. A slither of it, anyway. 

Finding Stoddard’s hand, he’s the only one he shakes. Not sure what to do with the rest of his body as he lets his eyes move across the room, seeing the closing circle of those wanting to thank him, celebrate and pat him on the back. But, his eyes land only on the pair which pulls him to shore. 

Yours.

The one person not clapping—leaning against your desk, head tilted to the side, doing your trademark smirk. The one Javi likes to think is just for him because he pulls it from you so frequently. The one which hits your eyes and shines like the sun on a cloudless day and warms him, even if he keeps trying not to let it. 

His heart sinks, just a touch. It’s still floating on the surface of the day and is the only explanation for why it doesn’t fall to his feet. Because as he lets his eyes fall over you he realises it’s the first opportunity he’s had to think of you. To allow himself to think of you. 

How he hadn’t had a chance to make sure you got home okay. The last sight of you had been in his office, lips swollen, eyes shimmering with post-lust bliss and your clothes a little off-pristine. Your hand on his wrist, sliding circles into his pulse—all thought-out and considered. You’re gonna get him, Javi. Your teeth chewed the skin of your lip as the words washed over him, a nervousness to you he rarely ever noticed—a slight discomfort in your forced expression.

But he hadn’t asked. 

Swallowing, he releases the hand in his.  

“–Where you going? C’mon, we want to toast you…”

Hearing Stoddard, but watching you. “Start without me.”

He never questioned the tight expression when you released his wrist, his hand grabbing at things from his desk—all set to walk out, to leave. Be safe, Javi. 

It echoes through his ears as he crosses the room, watching as you take a deep breath as the gap between the two of you closes. 

Javi could let himself feel it now—the spark and the concern. Could question it—let it fill him. He could find the words to ask why Cali undoes a part of you, why you always place one particular type of mask up when it's mentioned—when someone goes. Unpicking it all, seeing it all as though someone was showing it to him all on video. 

Having been so laser-focused before, he’d missed it. Placed them all to the side, noticing the other things—the ones inflicted by others' words and actions, and not the looming one hovering over you as you worked.

Something had happened to you in Cali. Something that was left from the reports. 

He tucks you away, hides you—keeps you purely for the times he can spare a second to truly think and consider you. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet—in the calm. A welcomed retreat, a safe haven. A person who populates a carved space in his mind, one you had barely needed to hack at to make. Because, in truth, he made it for you, found a place that he could store you in for when he felt safe enough to let you out, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. 

Now just watching in slow motion as you try to hide what he assumes is relief. 

It’s a gift, how you keep people out. One he would admire if he wasn’t on the other side of it and wasn’t able to recognise how quickly and smoothly you were able to slide up the veil which isn’t breachable. While he doesn’t know what monsters live in your wardrobe or which ghosts haunt you, he knows there’s a reason why you can’t tell him too. 

A reason why you talk in riddles whenever bureaucracy is mentioned. 

A discomfort which ebbs and flows, but never truly meets the two of you, even if it tries to. It did so before he fucked you on his desk. A look so similar to the one you gave him in his office, all soft eyes he wasn’t sure if he could ever earn deserving.

He knows people consider you to be a storm. A restless bundle of anger and lightning—thunder rumbling with every step of your heel.

But, as he comes to a stop in front of you, Javi realises he hadn't seen you like that, not since the first day when you'd tried to convince him you were. Not even as you slide around your desk, using the wooden furniture as a barrier between the two of you. 

Ironic, really. When the two of you used one similar as a surface for relief, hours and hours ago. 

Javi thinks you’re something more akin to a rain cloud—all set to burst and let whatever it is you hold close fall like raindrops. Maybe they’d be acidic, maybe they’d burn those unfortunate to be underneath, but he’d only care for the relief on your face. 

The one he’s sure is hiding behind the smile he’s being presented with. 

“Congratulations, sir.” 

He slides his shades from his shirt, nodding at you. Thanking you. 

Continuing, you clear your throat, “I think the Ambassador would like to see you.” 

You let your words wash over him, before dropping your hand close to your mug, slowly pushing it toward him. A gesture, a bold one in a sea of eyes. 

Voice dropping, you flick your eyes up to his, “You can have one sip.”

“And, if I take one more, cariño?” 

Your lips scrunch, a real smile—all teeth and lines in your cheek—so desperate to break out. “You wouldn’t want to know, sir.” 

Each time he swallows, he tastes your coffee. 

Desperate to find a mug, to enjoy one more sip in some silence—even light up a cigarette, if he could be spared. But, it’s one thing, then another. Almost feeling the flutter of anxiety and adrenaline merging into something unheard of. 

From the meeting to the note in his file, right to the press conference he had needed to lead. 

As soon as it ended, he was led to the staircase—practically shoved off. His feet all heavy, legs like lead as he steps down, ready to hide in his office and release many heavy, simmering breaths.

That had been his plan. His only focus—until he finds you waiting.

Then he thinks of the file room, his place, his desk…

It knots all inside of him—that thrum of disbelief that blends so disastrously with the sudden acknowledgement he doesn’t deserve you. Something he thinks a lot, yet is finding it harder to fight off under tiredness and waning adrenaline. 

It isn’t just whatever it is between you—the fun, non-committal thing neither of you are likely to acknowledge—but your mere attendance in his life. 

The way you make things brighter, shine something that makes the edges a bit more colourful and meaningful. Not quite ready to allow it closer to the centre, to let it touch the parts of him still tainted in darkness and regret. He doesn’t think even your shine can do that alone. 

Wiping a hand over his face, he moves towards you. Absently wondering when you’ve snuck in, having not seen you arrive or between his meeting finishing and arriving here. He’d looked for you, met Stoddard’s eyes and nodded for him to come.

Yet, here you are, shaking someone’s hand as Javi moves past another person, noticing that you’ve removed your jacket, so that he can see the outlines of your bra straps through the back of your blouse. He spots the clipboard pressed to your chest, hand wrapped around another mug—one he soon realises is the one you always give him. 

It diminishes, the part of him which wants to protect you from him. From the disappointment he tends to bring and the fact he’s so thoughtless. That even under your occasional frostiness and many secrets, you’re kind… sweet. 

It’s why he should blink, and turn away—not that he can tear his eyes away enough to solidify his thought of walking away. Your presence practically demands his attention, even if you’re talking to someone else. Your leg crossed in front of the other, a white pen tucked away behind your ear and hearing, as he moves closer, the Spanish flowing from your tongue. It’s crisp, and clear—rolling beautifully to his ear as the conversation nears an end. The man’s hand in yours, another placed on your arm—squeezing—bidding you farewell.

Something unfurls, and stretches its legs inside of him. Only settling when the man’s hand leaves your arm, leaves the close proximity and is walking away. 

“You making friends?” 

Shrugging, you smirk. “Apparently so. You looked good by the way.” 

“I did?”

Nodding, you hand him the mug. “Yeah. Like you were supposed to be up there. You know, before you get into your head, it should have been someone else.”

He nods, taking a sip, wincing at the strong taste of alcohol—frowning at you as you smile wistfully. 

“Thought you could do with something stronger. Also, you doing the conference is smart, I like it—takes the heat off Chris and Dan.” 

He nods again, taking another sip. More prepared this time to coat his throat in amber, staring, wondering how you managed to sneak a mug of bourbon to him. Not that he should be surprised. You seemed to manage to do a lot, keep things turning, keep things organised. 

“So, sir. How do you plan on celebrating?”

He takes a long drag, raising his brows that hopefully says, I think you already know, and from the smirk, you shoot him back, you do. The two of you fall into a walk, one where your strides match, where your eyes can be on the other but not walk into a thing or soul. Not speaking, not for a minute, your eyes taking him in—raking over him, assessing him for something (or nothing) he can’t be sure. 

“Are you waiting for an invite for that or…”

Shrugging, he watches you take the mug back as he narrows his eyes. “Never been one to wait to be asked to be somewhere, cariño.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me,” you comment, sliding closer as you press the button for the elevator. “So, what? You want to take me home and fuck the day away?” 

He looks at you, flicking from your eyes to your lips. Watching as you swipe the tip of your tongue against your lower lip. Your body heat is almost smothering his skin—even through his shirt and jacket. “If I ever say no to doing that, cariño. I’ve got brain damage.”

Smirking, you nudge him, the ding of the elevator's arrival making you step back. “If we have a choice, I choose yours. It's fancier.” 

“I don't know, I bet you have candles and decorative pillows.” 

“That what makes a place fancy in your eyes? The amount of candles someone has.”

“I have no candles.”

Snorting, you shake your head as he presses the button for your floor. 

As the doors close, he glances at you, how your expression is fixed on the metal doors. 

“I’m glad you came back, Peña.”

He hears it, and conjures another set of words. Ones he heard, ones he had been meaning to acknowledge—until the phone rang. Until life hurtled a thousand things, and then he was flying to Cali. 

Javi… I was worried. I was worried about you.

You turn your head, flicking your eyes over him. “Another night, I’d show you how unfancy my place is. Tonight, though…”

He knows. Knew even before the teasing had begun about his place or yours. His thumb strokes over his middle and index finger as he chews his cheek. 

“Plus, someone must have come in and knocked all your files on the floor,” you say, a lightness to your tone, “Left your office in a right mess.” 

The doors pinged open, only able to watch as you step out—not waiting for him, just leaving him behind, chewing his smirk.

The moment Martinez left his office, he just remained sat on the edge of his desk.

It had taken longer than it should to sink in. The power people had, the corruption, how it bled and rotted in every corner of the place. The enormity of it all, how without his sacrifice and him handing his notice in, it would have all been undone.

Martinez was the good one. The one who hadn't toed the line, hadn't stepped into the grey, hadn't even been selfish. Not like him.

He drained the glass, finished his cigarette—staring at a patch on the floor until his fingers wrapped around the edge, feeling marks along the wood. For a solid minute, he traces them, feels the lines, the deepness to them, until his mind wonders if they’re from you.

No, Javi. Just you. Only you. 

It’s instant, the way he darts to his bottom drawer, rummaging through until he retrieves the file—the one marked with your name. The one he’d sourced before, now paying attention to the parts he had ignored then. 

From the look on your face, you’re as surprised to see him, as he is that he knocked. A wine glass in hand, the red of it sloshing from side to side as he observes you process his arrival. That he even got out of the car. 

“You… know where I live?”

He drops his hand from leaning on the door frame, wiping his mouth. “I know where you live.” 

Opening the door, you step aside—hands tugging at your cardigan to wrap it around yourself. “Some could call that stalking, sir.” 

“Y’gotta stop with the sirs.” 

“Do I?” 

You smirk—it spreads up your cheeks until it hits your eyes, before your hand pushes the door closed behind him, keeping your eyes on him. 

All he can think is how pretty you are. How beautiful you look, even if you’re all undone—nothing on your face, a baggy t-shirt and some shorts, the thickest socks on your feet. 

“Drinking alone, cariño?” 

It’s slow, how you lean against the door. Not letting the two of them head further into your place. “Some days justify it. Don’t you think?” 

He does. 

More than he wants to say—not wanting to spoil your evening. Taint your home with talks of work and bureaucracy. Things he suspects you know more than you’re likely to share. The thick lines through your file are all an indication of it.   

You take a sip, and then another. 

Adding nothing, just letting him stand there, and he half wonders if you expect him to plead his case here—or whether you’re assessing whether to eject him out of your place as quickly as you left his prior. 

Mainly, he focuses on the fact it smells like you. Floral with a hint of darkness—your decor not all that different from his, just with additional touches. Some candles, some colour—some attempt at making the place feel like a home and not somewhere to rest your head. 

It’s only in the growing silence does he hear the faint sound of music, something low, involving a guitar thrumming in the background. 

“Are you lonely, Agent Peña?” 

He places his hand in his pocket, leaning against the wall opposite you. 

“No.” 

You nod, rolling your lips. “Just in the neighbourhood then?” 

He wipes his mouth as his other hand rubs his palm against his index finger in his pocket. Suddenly unsure why he was here—why he’d found your address and come. 

Javi wasn’t lonely. Didn’t have the time to be. A sea of paperwork on his desk, the guilt weighing down on him, hearing the colonel's voice over and over—the once pleasant taste of liquor now turning bitter in the back of his throat. 

“You forget I know where you live, so I know you’ve come out of your way.”

A laugh escapes and falls from his lips as he dips his head. 

It all of a sudden catches up with him, how the day has been a range of emotions. The delicate way things had needed to happen, the thrum of adrenaline—the joy, the meeting, the conference… 

Lifting his chin, he finds you still watching him.

No smirk. No smile. All soft edges and a comforting presence—waiting. For what, he can’t be sure, but he kicks off the wall all the same. Sliding his hand from his pocket, softly wrapping it around your hip as he places his forehead against yours, walking you backwards, taking the glass from your hand and placing it down. 

He tells himself he needs a moment. A stolen one that doesn’t bleed and change into others. A break in from everything, for a second. 

It only shifts when he wraps each finger on your hip, pulling you close. He keeps your shoulder blades against the wall, the guitar strumming increasing as much as his heart is beating. It’s all rhythmic, a remix of a song he isn’t sure of—but one he is tuned into all the same. 

It takes his breath away how you look at him. How it’s harder to stop himself from falling into them, worsening as your hand cups his elbow. At first, it’s all shared breath and waiting. Neither moving, his forehead just remaining against yours.

“Are you okay?” 

It’s so soft. Barely audible if his body wasn’t pressed against you, as he shakes his head, feeling your fingers slowly sliding in gentle circles around his elbow. Cupping him, keeping him as close as his hands keep you.

“What do you need?” 

He says nothing. Afraid that saying ‘you’ is too much. Having hoped the action would speak louder than the words as he stares into you—mixing brown with yours to make a colour artists dream of. 

“Hey,” you say again. More demanding, assertive. “Javi, what do you need?” 

He doesn’t think, doesn’t attempt to. Embodies the former version of him—the one which had gone to the Colonel’s home, to begin with—the one who takes and takes and takes. 

“You drunk, baby?”

He hears you swallow, before slowly shaking your head. 

“Good,” he whispers.

Closing his eyes, he lifts his forehead before dipping his head, his mouth captures yours. Javi merges the taste of sweet wine, whiskey and his cigarettes together, creating a taste so intoxicating and delicious he’s not sure he ever wants to come up for air. 

Just need you, he thinks as his tongue slips past your parted lips. 

Only want you, he urges as he feels your other hand sliding around his neck, deepening the kiss, his tongue able to taste that small whimper you do when he squeezes your hip. 

It’s different—but then each time he kisses you is. It has been needy, and passionate. Another, it has been soft, almost meaningful. Now, this time, he’s able to feel how warmth consumes him as you kiss him more purposefully. He deepens it in search of more, kissing you more hungrily, full of need and want.

It’s only when he feels your hand skate over the back of his neck, fingers teasing the bottom of his hair, does he slow. In time, pulling back, pressing his forehead against yours—bruising your hip with his fingers as he takes a few deep breaths. 

“Whatever it is…” 

“We can’t fix it, cariño.” 

It’s cold—the way he says it. Wishing he could retract it the moment he sees your brows scrunch. Instead, he shows no sign of letting up his grip on you. Hoping it’s enough to wordlessly explain that he needs you close, wants you—in fact. Needed to just be around you. Even if he shouldn’t, couldn’t… 

He presses two fingers to the side of your cheek, curling them. Your mouth parts, words—likely reassuring ones, knowing what he knows about you—are all desperate to fall and heal over the cracks. But, he shakes his head, watching your lips close as quickly as they had opened, your fingers continuing to draw shapes at the base of his hairline, studying him—searching his eyes.

Then, like a light in a dark room, understanding spreads across your gaze. Illuminating everything, likely connecting the dots in that beautiful—but deeply fascinating—way you do.

“Martinez…”

“Cariño… not, not right now.”

Slowly, you smile, spreading your fingers in his hair—tugging on him, pulling him with far too much ease until his forehead presses back against yours. 

“You did this… before.”

A breath escapes his lips. “Yeah…” 

“Why’d you come, Javi?”

I needed you.

It wasn’t a lie. If anything, it was more truthful than he cared to admit or accept. Which is why he didn’t say it—didn’t let on that the moment the walls began to tremble, he thought of you. Looked through the blinds, bitterly disappointed you weren’t there to be witty and sarcastic, smirk in that way that gets under his skin and make some flirtatious comment that makes it hard not to kiss you.

He could tell you that. Be honest. 

Instead, he says nothing, staring into your eyes until he feels your other hand, the one which has been continuing to grip his elbow, squeeze. 

“Okay. Lemme look after you,” you whisper, before kissing him.

Brushing your lips against him, before pulling away and then kissing him again. Testing the waters, looking for some form of permission as he grips your hips, giving it to you. He doesn’t protest when you begin trailing kisses down his jaw. Your fingers sliding around his arm, to his waist, to the belt holding his trousers up. 

Holding the base of your neck, he stares into your eyes, feeling your palm brush suddenly over his cock. “You don’t have to, car—“

“Shh,” you whisper. 

Slowly, he watches as you lower yourself to your knees, his throat going dry at the mere sight of you. Watching as you grip his cock. All teasingly slow, dragging it out—your tongue sweeps across your bottom lip as you continue to stroke him. 

Eyes closing, he lets his head meet the wall. Needing more—almost asking for it.

It’s what you want, he assumes. Because as soon as he reaches the point where he’s going to ask, you wrap your pretty lips around him. Taking note of the way you run your tongue around the head of him before licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. Finding that your eyes don’t leave his—watching what you do to him, enjoying it. 

It’s endearing.

A desire building, suddenly wanting nothing more than to watch—how he wants an unrestricted view of such beauty—of you taking him down your throat, of your cheeks hollowing, even if your actions are compelling him to close his eyes. 

You’re always pretty—but this is something else. You are on your knees for him. 

Taking as much of him as you can, your hand working what you can't fit—his own hand tightening around your head as you wrap his cock in warmth.

He feels you smirking, your mouth pulling back as you swirl your tongue over the head of his cock, a hand grasping the back of his thigh as you hum around him. 

“So fuckin’ pretty, cariño.” 

The tip of your tongue slides over his slit, making him hiss again—making your name tumble freely from his tongue as he leans himself against the wall for leverage.  

“I know,” you whisper, tracing your lips with his slick head, “Come down my throat, Javi.” 

He grunts, nails digging into his palm as you take him down your throat. His other hand bites into your head as you take him deeper, his hips spluttering, thrusting against your tongue. 

Your eyes have closed.

The window into your need to please him vanishes, and he wants to ask you to open them. To let him see. His finger strokes the top of your cheek, feeling the dampness from a tear at how deep you’re taking him. 

How deep you want him down your throat. 

His hand aids you, fucking into you as you hollow and moan—it vibrates all around him. It covers and smothers his own grunts and groans. The one you pull from him with ease, because everything with you he is slowly learning is easy. Not complicated—even if the situation is. 

All he can think is you’re a fucking goddess, an angel—something he’s now one hundred per cent sure he doesn’t deserve. 

He hisses out your name, feeling your hands clutch at him for balance, his moans filling the hallway of your place until he’s coating your throat in his pleasure. You lap up every drop of it, swallowing it—swallowing all of what he’s given you.

You don’t move, not for a minute. Him slowly pulling himself from your mouth, your hand wiping any spend from your lips to your tongue. 

“You’re… fucking—”

“Something?”

He snorts, arranging himself before he fastens his trousers, shaking his head. His hand offers out to you, pulling you up from your knees as he adjusts your cardigan—as he places his lips against yours. 

“I didn’t… this wasn’t why I came around.”

“Why did you… come round?”

His muscles tighten, swallowing as he stares at you. 

Then you smile, placing a hand over his chest, palm flat, fingers spread. “You got anywhere to be, sir?” 

Javi is frowning, before the rest of your words sink in. His hand captures yours, holding it flat against him as he shakes his head. 

“Because you’re here, may as well let me toast you.” 

Some mornings greet him loudly—sweat clinging to his skin, head hammering, and the world chirping.

The morning, it greets him gently, softly. The sun slides through open curtains, a calmer sound of occasional passing cars greeting his ears.

It’s only then that he registers he’s waking beside you. Your warm, soft skin curled against him—his own arm holding you close, keeping you close. 

It takes a second for the sleep to flutter past his eyes, glancing at the clock on your bedside table—the one which ticks ever so loudly now he’s awake. It’s obvious the two of you have managed to catch a few hours, remembering how he’d brought you in here—thrown your decorative pillows to the floor with a smirk that you kissed immediately from his mouth.

He had told you he wouldn’t stay. 

But, here he is. Now, though, he should move—even if he’s unsure if he wants to. 

It’s never been his favourite thing, waking up outside of his own space. Never mind besides someone else. There were occasions and exceptions. He’s not prepared or currently capable of assessing whether you’ve slotted yourself there, either. 

All he knows is… he likes it, being here. 

Enjoying the fact he’s been allowed to steal a moment of this—of you. Letting himself enjoy it, the sound of your soft inhales and exhales, the way you fit against him—not in a way that looks perfect but simply feels it. 

And it scares him. Just a little bit. 

That thought returning, the one which bellows and beats the drum that you deserve better: than him, than what he can give you and the life you’d have being around him. 

Pinching his nose, he knows he should go to the office. Should begin to unravel the highs and lows of the day prior. Make a start on the paperwork that is already mounting higher than he expected. 

Instead, he turns his head. Selfishly admiring the way you sleep so peacefully, how he’d somewhat expected to find a creased forehead or a tightened jaw. A part had also expected to hear nightmares plague you, knowing there’s something there—living in your mind. A bad memory, a past which hammers at you to get out. 

He’d half expected to have his own rear its head too. 

Instead, he’s sure none had greeted the night air. 

If anything, he slept peacefully, soundly. Almost oddly, for the most consecutive hours since way before Escobar was caught. He shuffles against the pillow, eyes widening when he realises and feels your head rolling ever so slightly on his chest. The smallest of movements that had rippled out into hearing you murmur. 

Freezing, it dawns on him that he doesn’t want the bubble to burst. Studying, secretly praying he hasn’t woken you, as your lashes flutter and your lips don’t press back together. He’s a passenger, unable to stop the undoing as your brows dip, your fingers spread over his chest—

“J-Javi?” 

It’s full of sleep, his name. And fuck, it has never sounded so nice.  

He thought it bellowed or screamed as he fucked someone was good, but this… is something else. It takes a chunk from him, snatches it, and renders him thoughtless as you turn your head on his chest, looking up at him, blinking. 

“Morning,” he whispers, thumb stroking your cheek. “I’m… I should go, cariño…”

You frown, not like normal—smothered in sleepiness that it doesn’t quite form. 

A string is plucked in his chest when your fingers slide over his chest, watching them rub at your face. A desperation rises in him to kiss you, to taste what morning and goodness is like—even if it's coated in unbrushed teeth and last night. 

But, it’s his moment to move—his chance. To relieve you of his presence. 

Not that he takes it. Instead, he absorbs the moment he was robbed of the first night he took you to his—of seeing you without armour or walls. 

“If y’give me…”

“—cariño—“

“… like fifteen, maybe twenty minutes,” you say, words monotone and low as your hand slowly drops from your face to his chest. “I need… really need a shower. Then can come wit’you.” 

As soon as you sit up, cool air brushes over the places you’d been against him—goosebumps appearing over his skin as you stretch. His hand lightly grasps your forearm, keeping you from sliding out the sheets completely as he whispers your name.

Lets it slide into the air of your home, around the two of you—the room he secretly wishes could pause time so neither of you had to leave.  

Not ready to face the fallout from Martinez, the look of ‘what’s next’ on everyone’s face. Never mind the note clearly from Stechner. 

“You don’t… you don’t have to, I need…” 

His fingers move to your cheek, sliding over your jaw, only managing a half-breath as you flick your eyes to look over him—stunning him in a shade, he’s not sure truly has a name. 

“W-what?”

“Nothing,” he lies.

Following your suit, he sits up, your sheet falling to his waist as he marries his lips back to yours. Fingers finding your chin, keeping you there, stealing another moment, and another. Doing so until your hand wraps around his wrist, thumb stroking a line up and down his wrist. 

“I need a shower…”

He snorts. “You don’t have to come with me.” 

“I’m normally in an hour or two later anyway—plus…”

“Plus?”

Your lips slide, less of a smirk but more than a smile. “I have to come and ensure you don’t fuck with my organisational system. No other reason.” 

“Not one?”

“No.”

He tuts. “I can keep things organised.” 

You scoff, light and airy. “Peña, you’ve been here five minutes, and your desk already looks like it’s amassed ten years of files, so—I’m gonna call bullshit. Respectfully.” 

“Respectfully?”

“Yes.” 

He allows a laugh to escape, light and airy, it falling from him with far too much ease. Pulled from some depths he hasn’t allowed himself to explore. 

Sliding from him, you stand, grasping at a t-shirt that begins to mist over your body—hiding your skin, your curves and the marks he’s left from view. 

“I… I should say, I don’t mind that you showed up at my place, Javi.”

He traces his mouth with his thumb, looking at you. “Javi, huh?”

You smile, rolling your lips as you sigh. “You wore me down.” 

“Go shower, I’ll wait for you.”

Pausing at the door frame, you glance at him, half your body framed in shadow and the other in the morning light. He’s not sure he’s ever seen someone look more beautiful in the earliest hours of a new day.

chapter six ->

[thelightsandtheroses]

Secret Smile: Fall to Pieces (Chapter Six)

Secret Smile | Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: Before returning to Colombia to get things right this time, Javi’s childhood best friend asks him to keep an eye out for his sister while they’re both stationed in the embassy. Only you don’t need Javier to keep an eye you her. Your role as a new legal advisor is all about keeping an eye on him after all. Sparks fly, lines will be drawn and broken and there’s everything to lose.

Word Count: 3.3 k Chapter Warnings: 18+ blog, language, reader has a nickname (Blue) but no physical descriptors used Author Notes: As always, thank you for all your feedback, likes and reblogs so far – it means a lot and I’m having so much fun writing this fic. I’d love to know what you think of this next chapter so please feel free to comment, reblog or even send an ask!

Previous | Series List | Next

This is all too much. it’s not enough Blue is haunting him by working in the same embassy, in being assigned to be his glorified babysitter but to be living in the Tome apartment he used to live in?

Javi’s really pissed some karmic force off.

It was surreal, standing there in the Tome apartment he used to live in and suddenly flooded with all those memories while being aware that everything was slightly different, slightly out of place. There were different photos, different plants, different smells and personal touches. It was uncanny.

And then he’d almost kissed you.

He still can’t quite reconcile your reaction, can’t quite make sense of it all. It doesn’t matter though; it was a bad idea. A terrible idea even. There’s something in Javi - whenever he’s faced with those regrets and mistakes, whenever things seem to be going wrong, he wants to find solace in someone else. He did that with Katie, the intern, and he wanted to do that with you too.

Or was it more? He knows you, or at least knew you once. You’re part of his history, of his hometown. In Bogotá that makes you a spectre, reminding him of who he wanted to be, who he used to be. There’s something soothing yet so confusing about your presence right now.

He thinks about you, about what would have happened if you had kissed, the way your lips would have felt, how far it could have gone. Even now, every time you’re in the Tome room, he can feel the rising temptation, the desire to be closer to you, to be with you. He’s no longer immune to the smell of your perfume, to the way you look down at the ground for a microsecond before you smile, or how you fiddle with your necklace when you’re thinking about something. There’s something simultaneously fierce and vulnerable about you; that keeps you an enigma to him.

That moment in your home - at his old apartment - opened a door to something he was trying to keep locked away.

He’s glad nothing happened, glad he didn’t ruin everything with you as well. He probably would have.

That seems to be the way of things now.

Days have passed since the arrest and with them, an itching sensation has risen that things are going downhill. The pressure is slowly building, the tension mounting. Javi feels like he’s a lobster in boiling water, unable to escape and aware of what is coming and not sure whether there’s any fight left, or if he should just accept his fate.

He remembers the way the panic rose as he was called out in the meeting after the arrest; asked what his roadmap to victory was. This new role with its suits, ties and endless meetings? It’s not really him.

He can’t give up though. The names and faces of so many of the people he has let down in Colombia haunt him. Without someone like Martinez on his side too, Javi’s worried.

He needs results. He needs to find Jurado, to get more evidence. If he can’t do this, all the evidence his team has amassed, the progress he’s made, will collapse like a house of cards.

So, he asks Stoddard to play the wiretap tapes, tries to ignore how Stoddard reacts to that, pretends he didn’t hear Stoddard say you would not react well if you found out about this. Instead, he asks Stoddard about where he sees his career in five years if he asks others that question on the tapes’ legality and he feels the weight of the job add just a little more to his shoulders.

The odds are stacked against him, against bringing down this cartel.

What is he supposed to do?

“Please tell me this is a joke, your idea of humour perhaps?” you ask, voice acerbic and body taut.

Ever since you overhead Stoddard talking to one of your colleagues in thinly guided hypothetical scenarios a few hours ago, you’ve been waiting for this conversation. You had to sit through a meeting with your manager while quietly planning out everything you would calmly say to tear Javier Peña apart. It is a true skill to be able to do that while looking like you are listening to whatever the other person was saying.

In the past few hours, you have toyed with several reactions. From screaming at him in front of everyone to using that cold, deadly voice you only used at work when someone had really upset you. In some of your more extreme imagined responses, you have thrown the empty glasses in his office against the wall and roared too. However, that strikes you as a little excessive. You’ll save that for Plan C perhaps.

Monologues have been meticulously planned, edited, and rehearsed under your breath as you went about your day. You mentally experimented with the timbre of your voice as you spooned coffee into your mug, with exactly which words to use to best craft your argument, your admonishment.

Only now you’re here, facing Javi and it’s real.

“Blue, I-” Javi looks at you with those deep brown eyes, pleading somehow, but you refuse to fall for that.  He’s wearing one of those infuriating well-fitting shirts, the top button undone and tie loosened.

You almost kissed him …

You look over and notice the ash tray on his desk is once again filled with cigarettes and his desk is covered in scattered papers and files.

You know he’s been under pressure. Over the months, you’ve noticed the way he fidgets; the way he automatically moves his fingers when he’s nervous or under pressure. You know what the higher ups are asking of him, you know it’s a lot for one person to bear. To do what he’s done though? Any sympathy ebbs away.

“Because,” you continue, your voice venomous and arms folded, “after everything we’ve talked about, I know you wouldn’t knowingly instruct one of your team to conduct a wiretap like that, not without going through the correct processes. I know that, right? Because you’re not a complete fucking idiot.”

“I am trying to get a fucking case so we can stop the Cali cartel. Stop being naive!” Javi snaps, finally showing his real feelings. He’s not sorry, you know he isn’t, and that makes this even worse.

“By using an illegal wiretap? Do you have any idea what that could do to the case? Yes, of course you do which is why you didn’t tell me.”

“I was protecting you.”

“That’s not your job, Javi. My job is to protect this case and right now you’re hindering me.”

”Look, I know we can’t use the tapes -”

“Or anything from them! It’s fruit of the poisoned tree, Javier. This entire avenue of investigation isn’t so much on shaky ground as it is utterly destroyed. I - I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

Your head is throbbing and you massage your temples to no avail.

“It took a while, but I am almost there with Franklin Jurado’s wife, Blue and then -”

“Oh, I bet you are,” you bite back.

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”

“What do you think?” you retort, completely lost to the argument at this point. Everything in you is saying to be calm, rational, to not let your emotions dictate but you are infuriated by what Javi has done.

It isn’t just about how ill-advised, how unethical it all is or how it could compromise your case. It’s because he did it anyway, knowing what your role was, knowing the position it would leave you in.

“I’m waiting on a - confirmation of something and then I’ll know where he is and we’ll get him. It’ll be solid. I have a plan.”

You sigh. “You better, Javi, you better.”

The parcel arrives the day after your confrontation with Javi. You immediately recognise the messy handwriting as one of your closest friends from back home, Shelley. Immediately it acts like a balm for your sharp edges and irritation.

To both your amusement and horror, during college she started dating one of your best friends from home, Carlos. Now the two of them are married and live in Laredo of all places. Shelley hosts a local radio show and while the people of your hometown generally seem to prefer more mainstream music to Nine Inch Nails, Shelley is persistently building a small, devoted following.

You miss them both. Shelley had made it clear that she had hoped you would come back to Texas when it was clear you needed to leave DC. She had even joked in your last phone call when you first arrived in Bogotá that she’d told you to go for a fresh start, a new job, but not to leave the damn country!

Over recent years, you’ve mostly ended up meeting outside of Laredo at concerts for bands you loved or last summer you’d all hired a house by the coast for a week. It had been you, Shelley, Carlos and Jamie, your now ex-boyfriend. 

The box has arrived at a perfect time. Javi and you were even more tentative around each other today. Yesterday’s frustration was so thick in the air you could taste it, feel it constricting around your body like insulation.

Beyond that, you’ve been riddled with doubts, anxieties, and unwanted memories since the near kiss. It’s like one moment has dropped you months into the past, back to a time you don’t want to think about.

You hate the double standards and hypocrisy at play, the assumptions you’re trying to prevent. You hate the politics of it all - the way you must prove yourself and prove yourself and never ever let a single vulnerability show while you’re at work.

You don’t open the box from your friends until you’re in your apartment, perched on the edge of your couch as you tentatively cut it open.

There are numerous packets of some of your favourite types of candy, several new paperbacks, three letters and most excitingly of all, two cassette tapes.

It’s funny how just a few small touches can immediately transport you somewhere else, can make you feel a little lighter.

You take in the three envelopes, one is clearly from Shelley, it looks the longest, the next is clearly from Carlos and is short but sweet. The other you can tell by the blocky handwriting is from Jamie. You’d spoken to him before you left for Colombia, told him that Shelley would be the best way to reach you if he wanted to.

You’ve never stayed friends with an ex before, but Jamie is different. You think the real indicator of this was that several months after your break-up when everything had kicked off in DC, he had been there for you, been a steady and calming presence when you were questioning everything and Shelley and Carlos were so far away. It’s probably part of the reason he’s still tolerated enough by Shelley and Carlos that they let him send his contribution to your care package via them, that they would even have reached out to him to get this or would have known you would be okay with that.

For a second you remember the time the four of you had met in New York to go to a concert for a band you all loved. Everything seemed simpler then - life, relationships, work.

You think about the adrenaline of this job; of how much your life has changed since then. Would you ever have imagined having dinner with Javi after he arrested a cartel leader back then?

This country is changing you slowly. Perhaps it’s not all for the bad either.

You open one of the packets of candy and the letter from Shelley first.

Shelley’s letter makes you feel like she’s right there in the room talking to you. You smile warmly at the memories of your friendship with her. Shelley’s always encouraged you, always been there for you, she’s been that supportive voice in all of those moments where you’ve wondered if you can do something. She’s been a friend you haven’t been able to shut out, who hasn’t let you push her away. You hope you represent something similar to her.

One passage stands out in letter because even in this moment, you can’t escape Javi.

Your brother says that a certain Javier Peña is out in Colombia too, which I didn’t think was a big deal but Carlos tells me definitely is. I think I saw him at Danny’s wedding and if I’m right, he is a tall glass of water. Do you see him at work? Tell me everything!

Well Shelley, you think, I completely messed up and almost kissed him, then rejected him and the man just leaves me completely confused. I may also have chewed him out spectacularly yesterday so I don’t think he’d ever want to kiss me again, even I wanted to.

You miss your friends; you wish you could more readily just phone Shelley and have a long talk over a glass of wine. You need to write back to her. Carefully, of course. There is so much that cannot be put in writing at all lest it fall into the wrong hands.  Words are slippery in a world like this; you can’t just say whatever you are thinking, but you can’t avoid replying either.

You can’t concentrate on the letters though. Your confrontation with Javi still rages through your veins - you’ve analysed everything you could have said differently, come up with several witty comebacks you missed and perhaps worst of all, in your mind you ended the discussion far more positively.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t for the near kiss. That’s just as confusing in your mind too.

You were reckless with Javi. There is no way you can afford being seen that way here. It’s too close, too risky, too much. You have already left one job, fled the country once. If anyone from DC even heard whispers about what could have happened with you and Javi …

You scowl, trying to stop your spiral as quickly as possible. It’s okay, nothing has happened.

You take another piece of candy and sigh. You need to forget about what almost happened with Javi. For both of your sakes.

Willemstad is beautiful. The mix of painted buildings and blue ocean makes it look like paradise. You never expected that you would be somewhere like here on a work trip.

A couple of days ago, when Javi had told you he finally had located Jurado, you expected that you would just create the motions and legal briefs. You’d sit in your open plan office and listen out to hear whether the operation was successful. Only now you’ve been swept along with him to this amazing place and you feel a complete imposter.

You’re not an agent; you’re a lawyer. This isn’t like any courtroom or legal office you’ve encountered before.

“Stoddard’s confirmed all the logistics, right?” you ask as you start to walk towards the main police building with Javi, happy to be stretching your legs after the short flight.

“Yes. It should all be in place so you don’t need to worry about that. I wanted you here more for the Miami side - I need this guy on US soil as soon as possible and when he is -”

“We need a deal.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll cooperate? Has the wife given any indication of that when you uh, spoke to her?”

“I think he has to. Fuck, Blue, for this to work then he has to. I need his testimony.”

You look at Javi. For a moment you’re taken aback to some of your initial thoughts about him in Bogotá; that he looked like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders. How is it possible he looks even more burdened now?

“Let’s get it then. I’ll work on the paperwork while you arrest him.”

He’s covered in sweat, a grim smile on his face. The pink shirt he was wearing this morning, the one you thought looked infuriatingly good on him, is darkened with sweat.

“He’s arrested then?” you ask cautiously. You’d heard that Javi’s original plan to arrest him within the grounds of the bank was shut down by the police; apparently that wasn’t how things were done in Curacao. From Javi’s appearance it’s clear a chase has taken place.

Javi nods, running a hand through his sweaty hair and you wonder how easy the arrest was for him and the team. “We’re getting the plane ready and we’re going straight to Miami. The Ambassador said the extradition papers were set? Have you updated Justice?”

You point at a pile of papers in front of you. While Javi’s appears to have been chasing Jurado all around Curaçao, you’ve been stuck in this room typing up briefs and motions in preparation.

“We should have everything we need. I spoke to the Ambassador earlier and then the team in Miami before you came in and we’re all set,” you say, stifling a yawn as you stretch your legs. You’ve been sitting for too long.

You hand Javi your glass of water. He looks like he needs it more than you and he gratefully accepts, gulping it down. You try not to notice the rivulets of sweat on his neck as he does that.

“Have you spoken to Stoddard about the wife? The moment the cartel knows, Javi, they will - and if I were Franklin, I wouldn’t have a deal unless she was included and safe.”

“I know, I’m calling now. We’ve got to get this all in place before they know we have him.”

   It feels like you barely have time to collect your thoughts before you’re on a plane with Javi and Franklin Jurado on your way back to the United States.

You hear snippets of Javi’s conversations with Franklin as you walk back from the bathroom but you’re not paying attention to what is said. Instead you are intent on using the flight time to get ahead on the many other briefs and motions you need to complete, to test out the exact wording of the plea deal with Franklin Jurado, to complete the plans and decision trees for Justice and Jurado’s lawyers just in case.

You miss the courtroom.

You’ve realised that’s where you shine, where you feel able to most make a difference. This job, as varied, as unexpected as it is, is a step removed from that. It’s more about diplomacy, about briefings and managing interested parties and application of the law but not in a courtroom, not where you feel most at ease.

You can’t regret this job. There are so many parts where you feel you are adding value and you needed to leave DC regardless. This was the right decision.

Javi gets up from his seat, walking over and leaning over you from the aisle. You immediately put your file down and look at him.

“We’re landing in a few minutes. You ready for this, Blue? Is the deal ready?”

“Oh yes,” you say with a slight smile, “Now you’re in my wheelhouse, Javi.”

“Looking forward to it,” he says in a low voice.

Tag List

Secret Smile tag-list @darkroastjoel @sullyosully @catsickyellow @spishsstuff @casa-boiardi @living-for-jesus-and-telenovelas @pastelnap @babeincolor @iamskyereads @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk

If you want to be added to (or removed from) one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics if you prefer. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

[rise-my-angel]

Waging Double Edged War

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Length: 6.6k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, fluff, mild blood and mentions of violence, smut, oral (m receiving), p in v

Notes: Takes place mid season 3, follow up to A Future of Unknown Dangers and The Complexities Of Defeat but can be read as a standalone

You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen him as stressed out as he is now. A constant feeling that he’s at the edge of a cliff, and any gust of wind will push him off of it. He tried to play it off to you as if it wasn’t a big deal, but it was clear to just about anyone around him that his superiors wanted him to play their game no questions asked. As soon as Martinez left, the tide had shifted and the walls were closing in. 

Javier had tried to keep the worse details from you, but the kind of reception you got alone from Javi’s superiors told the story all on it’s own. He had been transparent about your relationship upon coming back, and considering you were a low level civilian who had no involvement in actual cases, they let it slip by. What they didn’t slip by though, is reflecting their opinions of Javier onto you as well. 

Walking into the embassy on your own now felt like a mission all on it’s own to avoid any run in with the ambassador. Asking you questions about settling in here and commenting how surprising it was you even wanted to come back a place you were ‘so eager to get out of’. Asking with a skeptical gaze how you and Javier were doing while implying that the only reason you paired so well together must be you had the same kind of mindset or integrity. It wasn’t lost on you that he certainly didn’t speak to you with a favourable tone, and he wasn’t the only one. 

It was when you were alone gathering new ink for the photocopier that Stechner miraculously found his way into the same supply closet. “Well isn’t it my favourite mail clerk.” 

Your shoulders tensed just a fraction as your jaw clenched, maybe hidden enough someone else couldn’t notice it, but he would. “You and I both know that’s not what I do here.” Just keep opening the box you told yourself, he was always seeking some kind of reaction. 

His frame slid just slightly into your peripheral vision, back against the shelves with his arms crossed, looking up at nothing around the ceiling. “My apologies. Simple mistake to make when that’s all I ever see you do, passing messages back and forth.” 

Your grip on the box tightened and your blood begun to heat up. You knew you should keep your mouth shut, but his voice was so grating on your ears it triggered an instant anger response. “Maybe that’s because you’re too busy shaking hands and kissing babies with politicians to notice anything around you. Not that you were ever good at that.” The last part you muttered under your breathe, but not enough to bother trying to hide it from him.

You were treading on thin ice and you knew it, Javi would have just told you to ignore him or walk away, but he stood between you and the door. Stechner wasn’t dumb enough to do anything, but he was bigger than you and far more dangerous, it intimidated you too much to push past him, all you could do was push back. 

At this point your hands remained at the box openings, your brain already forgetting to reach for the scissors you brought to slice it open. You could feel his head leaning more in as he now looked at you. “Is that anyway to speak to your superior?” 

The roll of your eyes was another thing you didn’t bother to hide, you were so tired of this game he had been playing for years now. “You’re a superior, not mine. I, in no way work for you. The only respect I have to show you is to restrain myself from telling you to piss off.” 

Stechner’s eyebrows raised almost in amusement. “Someone came back with a bite. What, that Texas sun burn that nativity right out of you or is that attitude just what happens when you tussle in the sheets with a certain DEA agent?” 

In frustration you turned abruptly to face him directly, your fingers tripping the box edge’s slicing through the skin, leaving a bright tear that instead left you hissing in pain. Holding your wrist to look at the long gash already starting to bleed more you could only look up at his taller frame slightly as he gave a tsk. 

“Already hurting yourself in here of all places,” leaning in there was a smirk you just knew was meant to agitate you. “How are you going to protect yourself the more your big shot boyfriend puts himself in danger?” 

His features flickered to one side in a dismissive mock before he walked away. Turning to you as he opened the door, “You’re out of first aid supplies by the way.” You winced in pain again as he finally left, your cut clearly hit a bad angle and while it wasn’t a dangerous amount of blood, it was enough to leave you feeling a bit uneasy at the sight of it. 

Letting go of your wrist your free hand pressed against your forehead, eyes squeezed shut as finally letting at least some of the anger simmer out. Turning to grab at least a package of paper only to drop it on the ground. You let out a frustrated groan and left, shutting the door a tad too loudly as you did so, no doubt catching some attention as you walked back to the office hoping there was a first aid kit laying around somewhere. 

Unfortunately for you, you had barley even gotten the only one you could find on the desk stashed in Javi’s office when he unbeknownst to you, walked in. You had hoped to get it wrapped up before he ever even saw it, he had a different level of desperate protectiveness this time around then you ever saw before you two came back. 

His eyes going wide at the blood covering your hand, “Fuck, what happened?” in and instant he was rushed to your side taking your cut hand out of your use and tossing the kit open and grabbing things. Most of the blood was from dripping down when you walked back to the office not really putting any pressure onto it, but you knew all he saw was what it looked like. 

Your free hand gently reached out to his working arm in protest, “Javi, really it’s okay it was nothing.” 

Paying diligent attention to you, he doused a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol. “This amount of blood isn’t nothing.” Before you could say anything he lightly swiped it over the length of the cut, you let out a sharp gasp in the stinging pain. Javi tossed it aside, his hand cupping the side of your head for a brief moment of comfort. “I’m sorry quierda, I know.” 

For such rough hands, they handled you gently as you started to relent. “It was just an accident, honestly.” You let him be concerned. It was the biggest feeling weighing him down seeming at every opportunity. No matter what he did, it seemed like every single choice was looked down on now. 

Part of you wondered if it was intentional. Wearing him down until he complies in defeat. You knew Stechner wasn’t there goading you out of sheer disrespect, no he was trying to get a message through to Javi, and you were a channel to that. Just go along with things and you’ll stop being bothered by people here.

If it was clear why you didn’t have Javi’s job, it was because you hide your emotions as well as you wished. It was written all over your face, a train of thought consuming you as you failed to notice Javi had finished wrapping your hand, and was now watching you. He knew you, and he knew that specific degree of frustrated only one man ever made you. 

“What did he say?” 

You shook your head, looking away from him as you tried to pull your hand back, but his grip was stronger then yours. Muttering your name with sternness, you instinctively obeyed and looked back. Only to see that dark penetrating gaze, doing what he did with those in the interrogation room. Figuring out what you weren’t going to say. “I’ve only ever seen Stechner piss you off like that, what did he say?” 

Closing your eyes for a brief moment only finding the energy to open them again half way through your sentence. “It doesn’t matter. He’s just trying to to get to you by bothering me. It’s hard to tell what he ever really wants I’d rather just ignore him.” 

You could really tell how much more exhausted this case was making him, before he would have pushed until you told him right away, but this time he just softened his face as he looked at you. Instead he saved it until you got home that evening. Quietly prompting you at the end of the day that they had things to do tomorrow and should get an early evening. 

It was only a half lie. Judging by the always anxious look on Stoddard’s face, you assumed he knew something about it as well. Javi wasn’t even the one to tell you about the wire tap, apparently your association to Javi made him just as bad of a liar to you as he was to him. Before walking out of the office, you looked at him and made an exaggerated inhale and exhale motion as watched until he did the same, his shoulders losing just a slight of their tension. 

Once out of earshot of anyone else, you and Javi finally felt far enough to relax more into one another. Javi wrapping an arm around your waist and tucking you firmly into his side. You tried to make an attempt to lighten the mood. “I can’t tell if Stoddard is perfect for this job or completely out of his depth working for you.” 

Javi chuckled as he nudged you to the passenger side door. “He’s good at what he does, I just don’t think they thought out putting him with someone like me.” You shared a chuckle, but didn’t say anything more until you both were tucked in the confines of the car. “Honestly most of what I get him to do, I would’ve just given to you if I could get away with it. Considering half the things I convinced you to do for me before.” 

He started the car but didn’t quite make a move to drive. “You didn’t convince me to do anything. I trusted in what you were doing. Bureaucracy wants you to stand back and let it play out by itself, I’d rather help you in actually doing something than keep sitting back and watching you struggle to push through all the red tape.” Javi didn’t look at you, but moved his hand resting on the stick shift to grab at your hand. His thumb rubbing over the skin. “If I can’t help you here Javi,” you leaned over to move your conjoined hands over his heart. “At least I can still help you here.” 

As if there was too much stirring in his head, he shut his eyes and held your hand tight against his chest before finally letting it go, moving back to drive out. “I played ball as much as I could, but they just see numbers and names on a report. They have no clue what it’ really like out there.” 

It’s why he didn’t say much about tomorrow to anyone. It’s why you two never even discussed it until you both were in your shared bedroom going over everything. Javi sat on the edge of the bed, his body slightly twisted to lean over the bedspread to look at the papers in front of him, you sitting near the middle with your legs crossed reciting things out loud to make sure he was going in fully prepared. 

You both knew approaching Christina Juardo wouldn’t be a one way solution. Javi needed to get in the door, put who he is in her head, and let her slowly come to terms with what he wanted, but then the wiretap came though. And suddenly Javi knew exactly where her husband was hiding. 

It was all a mess, but that was the only state of affairs the DEA was allowed to function under anymore. For the first time though, you didn’t quite feel the gut wrenching fear you used too. Curaçao was a far cry from running through the streets of Cali or Medellín. It was one of the only times now where Javi leaving for a field job didn’t leave you sick inside at what could happen. Franklin Juardo was a money man, not a fighter hiding out in a city that posed no threat to Javier's safety. 

Neither were things you could be sure of after he gets back. Eventually he had to relent, everything was ready to go, just none if it made either of you feel any better. The last time you two had been in Colombia, a night before an arrest like this, Javi would have needed to let out that intense fire in his nerves, and your softy pliant body was the perfect place to let that out on. You’d take his cock however many times in whatever ways he needed, but tonight was different. 

The way you fucked now was intense, brought out of a painful helplessness you both experienced day after day. He was tense and so were you, and he never wanted to take that out on you. His anger was different now than it was before, and he was constantly aware of making sure not to let that turn into handling you so roughly.

So that night before his flight, it was just his lips against yours, and quiet whispers between them. It was tender, and it hit you right in the heart at how soft and vulnerable he was allowing himself to be with you. 

You just hoped thing’s in the upcoming weeks wouldn’t take away that deeply rooted feelings between you. That whatever was inevitably going to crash down, didn’t take Javi down with it. 

Waiting around the quiet office all day ruined whatever tenderness last night filled you with. Part of you felt bad, you didn’t know almost any of these people upon your return so they must think you’re just a quiet, tense bitch. Or at least stand offish. They knew you and Javier were together, he had disclosed that upon your own reapplication, but between Cali somehow remaining two steps head and the constant push back from the ambassador, Javi hasn’t come off as less stand offish than you have. 

As the only thing your mind could focus on was the clicking of keys and the ticking clock, you begun to wonder if this was how Connie felt. This feeling of knowing you won’t hear from them until they’re back and you just have to spend your day not knowing anything or if they’ll succeed, and what happens if they didn’t. More than once Stoddard tried to not so subtly bring things up, but you shut it down just as fast. You really didn’t want to talk about what Javier was doing with anyone not Javier. 

It wasn’t until there was hustling and rushed activity in the halls that you suspected he was back, and judging by the security making their way over there, had Franklin Juardo in custody. Your palms sat flat on your desk, eyes shut as you took a deep breathe in. You felt relieved he was back, but somehow it didn’t make you feel any better. 

At some point you had seen his lawyer enter the embassy, and if he had looked your way he definitely would have noticed the glaring squint sent his way. You didn’t want to even start wondering just how much he was being paid to sacrifice any dignity or integrity he had to protect these people. 

Whatever had happened once they returned, it also didn’t make Javi feel any better either. By the time he made it to his office, it was late. Late enough the sun had started going down and you were in his chair with your feet resting on the desk. Your uncomfortable shoes kicked off over an hour ago as you flipped through the same file over and over. 

Once again the droning of the clock distracted your brain enough not to realize anyone had approached until Javi quickly opened and more aggressively shut the door. Carelessly tossing his DEA jacket off onto a nearby chair before rubbing a hand over his face. Your head tilted with wide eyes as you waited for him to come to you. 

Finally he looked at you with a large breathe, hands on his hips. “Christina?” Shaking your head no, you could see his jaw tick in frustration. He walked further in and sat on the edge of his desk beside your resting feet. “Brave of a subordinate to think she can just use her bosses desk as a footstool.” 

As he nodded down your face fell in regret, immediately moving them up only to have Javi chuckle softly to himself. Grabbing your feet gently and pulling them into his lap, gently massaging what spots he knew were uncomfortable. You looked pensively at him before finding the courage to ask. “How bad is it?” His head turned more to you with a look of confusion before you clarified. “The lawyer. I saw him when he first got here.” 

Javi let a large sigh out, turning his focus back to the soles of your feet. Sometimes a distraction with his hands helped his brain focus, probably why the nicotine gum didn’t do anything to help. “Said he’s sure I can’t make the charges stick, that he’ll get Juardo off in no time. He’s good.” 

Your brows furrowed, sitting up properly and leaving Javi’s touch entirely so you could lean in closer to his face. “He’s not good, Javi. He just knows his own clients can throw money around to do whatever they want. He’s expensive and doesn’t give a shit about being moral, that’s all.” 

Deep brown eyes bled into yours, as the softer Javi returned slowly to you. Standing up you moved in front of him, his legs giving you just enough space to properly keep close. Your hands cupped the sides of his jaw, thumbs rubbing over the skin, an act normally soothing enough to see Javi’s eyes flutter shut but this time he just caressed one of your wrists with his as he held your waist with the other. 

“I’m just waiting for Crosby to pull me into his office and tell me that nabbing the cartels own money launderer was somehow the wrong move.” His hands raised just long enough to pull you in as close as the space allowed, guiding yours to wrap around his neck. Holding your chin with his fingers he nudges his nose against yours. 

“They don’t like anything you do because they want to keep you focused on the carrot on the string, rather then going for the food directly.” As soon as you said it you got it. A smirk along with a laugh as he runs his hair over the side of your head. 

 “That’s it. You’ve done it that was the worst one.” You started laughing as well, Javi pulling you in with a smile when you tried to get away. “Good thing we didn’t hire you for the marketing team.” 

Your foreheads eventually found a resting spot against the other as Javi switched from holding you static to squeezing where his hands lay on your body as he thought more and more. “You know what I mean though, Javi. They want you to think that you’re the one in the wrong for caring about how much harm these people actually do. You saw it, what looks good on paper is all that they care about producing. That doesn’t take away from what you’re doing, which is actually wanting to help the people men in Cali hurt.”

Javi finally nudged his nose against yours once more, but this time cupping your cheeks softly to pull you into a gentle kiss. A kiss that turned a little more urgent the longer you didn’t have the will power to pull away. 

You slid your hands down to his sides, tempted to sneak under the fabric of his shirt to enjoy the feeling of his bare skin, but managed to pull your lips away from him leaving a much more soft kiss to his forehead. Eventually you let each other go a big, Javi holding you at the waist while yours rested on his thighs. “If they don’t like this, they’re certainly not going to like what we’re going for next.” 

Your eyes remained firm. Out of the four only one remained in charge here in Colombia to have any major influence. “Miguel.” 

Javi nodded. “Miguel. We get him I may actually have a fucking chance at ending this.” One thing he still adored on you was that look you held right now. Focused and intense, always paying close attention to whatever he shared with you no matter how much of it you likely weren’t supposed to know. “If this informant of Feistl and Van Ness comes through, it’d give us the upper hand. Getting Miguel Rodriguez is huge at this point. Everything goes through him now, and if we take that away from they might not recover from it.” 

You both wished his tone was hopeful, but it was increasingly more touch each day to find the bright side of Javi’s gloom. What he needed now wasn’t that though, he just needed you there with him. That was enough to keep him going, for now at least. Your hands rubbed over his thighs now mindlessly, but the caress was strong enough that Javi could feel it. “When you said Cali was going to be completely different, I didn’t realize that meant having almost no one on your side. I mean I know it’s all technically the same, but this time just feels...” 

While you trailed off Javi knew exactly what words they were. “Bleak. Way more fucking bleak.” The tension in his jaw returned and it poked at your heart again. You glanced to see shut blinds at his office window and took a deep breathe through your nose as you turned back to him, hands rubbing over his thighs both higher and now a purposeful degree of firmer. 

Javi breathed an almost silent laugh out, standing up off the desk, pulling you close into him sharing a softer kiss than before. “Even here, you just can’t control yourself can you?” 

As your fingers danced up the length of his shirt he snatched them and shook them away. “Let’s go home, bebita. I’ve got a few ideas how you can cheer me up.” Smirking at the clearly flustered look your started to grow, Javi turned you around and nudged you to go grab your things. 

It wasn’t until you reached the door that you stopped and turned around, seeing Javi still standing there watching you. Before you could ask, he closed the gap and pushed you out with a hand on your lower back. It was easier to get Javi to open up at home than it was here. This place now kept becoming a constant reminder of his almost impossible mission. 

As much as you liked to tease Javi and his insatiable appetite, you preferred to properly take care of him first. You declined a very tempting and handsy offer to join him in a shower, wanting to make him something warm and comforting to eat. He did it for you, but never his own comfort food and never for his own sake. 

Focused on making sure everything was cooking right, you failed to notice the sound of the shower turning off at all until two strong arms wrapped around your front followed by a very large needy creature pulling you back slightly into his chest. Javi didn’t say anything, simply allowed you to cook while his face was tucked into your neck, whispering occasional compliments for how good everything smelled. 

From your position, you could feel his jean were back on, but forewent a belt and sat undone likely as a ploy to entice you with the coarse dark hair you might just be able to see if you looked long enough. A soft tee shirt covered his chest, which was rare these days for him to choose something casual. Almost as if he wanted to always be closer to be ready to go at a moments notice. 

His hands roamed your stomach and instinctively you flinched almost out of his touch, only to be gently pulled back in, one hand now playing with his palm flat against it and the other holding onto your hip. “Hey, there’s nothing to be self conscious about, queirda.” That one had been a slow process between you, accepting what you looked like without comparing it to what he’s been with before. 

Moving from your front, Javi slide his hand up to grasp your bandaged one. He seemed to think for a moment before the words whispered themselves out. “It wasn’t-” You felt a deep sigh of air on the side of your face. “Seeing that kind of blood on you, it knew it wasn’t serious but it still just..”

“Scared you.” Finishing his trailed off sentence, you turned the burner off twisted in his hold to face him. Moving the bandaged hand up to cup the side of his cheek. Your face was soft, but you felt the same kind of fear in your heart. “You’re not the only one.” 

It was a quiet moment standing in each others arms. There was worse things ahead that neither of you could predict, but you needed to keep your own head afloat, if just to help keep Javi’s up too. You watched whatever thought he was lost in, move on as a small smile took its place again. Tapping your side he moved to the cupboard. “You’ve done enough, let me do this go sit down.” 

Javi moved around the kitchen with a comfortably you don’t remember existing beforehand. It was there in when you two left for Texas, him and his father working in perfect synchronicity like he loved being in the kitchen, but being here it wasn’t one you had been used too. 

Getting together with Javi was both easy and incredibly difficult. The feelings between you two was the easy part. It genuinely surprised you how well you got on right from your first day, and he had to be the one to chase you. He took every opportunity to show you what you meant to him and how much he cared, and quickly it pulled the mask off. 

Javier cared deeply, more deep than most of the people he worked with. It’s why his actions were so brash and sometimes questionable. He did what he did because he’s not here to just shove cartels behind bars, you know he sees the country, walks in the city and sees the lives of the people those cartels effect. The people he’s watched get hurt, or worse along the way. 

Javier shows his heart on his sleeve, but so many people brush it off as arrogance or anger. But watching him, start serving the warm little meal you made for him, moving around the kitchen with little things you both finally added too. 

Last time you had been provided an apartment, but once things with Javi got started, he suspiciously got you to stay over with him more nights than not. Always suggesting you bring this or that over just in case you need it, and before you knew it you had decorated his place with some of your life. Now though, you both lived here, and it was the first time it felt like a home for both of you, not just a space you included yourself in. 

You wanted to hold onto this feeling for just a little while longer. Give him just enough to keep that content look on his face with you as long as you could before it all gets swept away the second he steps into the embassy. You had more than one idea for that, but food was first. 

It wasn’t until later, when you told him in a sweet but needy voice, hands playing with the open button of his jeans as your finger tips brushed his stomach. “I should get you out of these jeans, they can’t be comfy right?” 

Javi’s smirk read right through you, “What did you have in mind instead, quierda?” All you did was tug at the fabric a little more nodding to your bedroom. Laughing a bit, he kept a hand on the back of your neck suddenly. The gesture almost having you jump in surprise, Javi knew exactly what he was doing. His large band was so warm on your neck and it almost tingled down your spine as he held you firm enough that he could direct you elsewhere with any gesture. 

You knew where his path was though. Javi moved suddenly to crowd you up against the bedroom wall, his lips capturing yours in a heated kiss. His tongue heavy and demanding on yours as he kept that one hand on your neck. His groans coming out almost more aggressively as he switched from coaxing your moans out with his tongue, to forcing gasps from biting your bottom lip. 

He switched back and forth as if he couldn’t get enough of either taste. When your hands slipped under the softness of his shirt and gently raked over the bare skin, Javi made up his mind. 

His hold on you pushing enough to put you down on your knees. You wanted to look up at those daring aggressive eyes as he let his lust control him, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the dark hair just teasing you as it sat above his cock under the jeans. Your hands braced themselves on the meat of his thighs as you made your mind up. 

This was Javi’s show, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to take care of him. Javi murmured your name only to be interrupted with a hiss as you leaned your head in to nuzzle your nose against the impressively large bulge straining against him. Your mouth pressing harder against the fabric to just barley tease his cock, and by the twitch he let out, you knew his cock wanted to be treated well too. 

Sliding your hands up to just on either side of his hips, you looked up at him. “Will you let me take care of you Javier?” 

Javi nodded as he grit his teeth, “Pull me out, baby.” His hand rightly wound itself in your hair, jilting you head back just slightly as you pulled his jeans down just enough to get your hand around his cock. Jeans resting now just below his ass, you had enough space to move your hand gently over him as much as you wanted. 

The moan Javi let out as you kissed his tip was music to your ears. You almost instinctualy shut your eyes, your insides wanting you to lose yourself in the pleasure even just giving it to him, but Javi always pressed you to look at him. So you behaved. Licking and kissing the tip just enough to suck just that into your mouth you already could taste the precum spilling out. So you sucked more, uncaring that it was mixing sloppily with your saliva. Pulling away you properly wrapped a hand around his cock. 

You always were teased about having small hands, but it was only apparent to you when Javi’s thick cock would need two of your own hands to reach all the way around. But you kept one on his thigh as you used the slickness around his tip to coat his cock, unable to resist trailing you mouth down the sides your hand wasn’t touching. Adding to the slick mess as you stroked him. 

The sound was obscene, the wet slide of your hand as you left almost greedy kisses with your tongue down his length until the grip on your hair was almost painful. “This your idea of taking care of me?” 

Looking up, your hand was still stroking up and down as your mouth left him enough to give a much more warm and gentle tone, “I’ll always take care of you.” That gentle softness ruptured by you finally sliding his cock into your mouth. 

There wasn’t much room to work with, Javi had you pinned up to the wall. The most room you were going to work with was to suck him deep. Javi’s thighs trembled as your warm mouth sucked him over and over, his hand gently guiding you faster if you slowed down to teasingly. It had taken time to get such a small mouth used to his size, and the deeper he brought you the more your eyes stung from how much they were starting to water. 

But you sucked him more, your lips sealed tight around him, his cock sliding deep into your throat as if it was as warm and tight as your pussy. He was impatient, he always wanted to pull you off before he cums so he can fuck you. 

That look on his face right at that moment, his head thrown back with his mouth opening in a moan, is what you wanted to keep him feeling like. Just giving him something good for his own pleasure, nothing more and you were starting to think he was going to accept that, at least this time. 

Swearing, his tight grip in your hair shifts to rake through it almost more sensually, hazy eyes looking down at you he tries not to lose it then and there. “Taking me so well, don’t you? Always wanting my cock so deep.” 

One hand of yours drifted up from his thigh, winding up right at edge of his hip close enough that your palm partially siding behind him. Javi let out a wistful sigh, the tender almost innocent gesture pulling him far closer to the edge than expected, and this time what he wanted was exactly what you wanted. “Fuck- oh fuck, I’m close. I’m so fucking close, this fucking mouth..” 

You could feel Javi’s body tensing under your palms, a slight shake to his muscles as you pulled his orgasm closer and closer with every bob of your head. Your eyes slid shut totally, wanting to focus on nothing but how he feels and what he sounds like. The heavy weight of his cock on your tongue was so overwhelming, how thick and deep he was in your mouth sending your nerves into a frenzy of if you could handle it, but you did. 

Javi’s gentle groan of your name caught your attention, and you squeezed the part of his cheek that your hand had found itself cupping in response, but you never let him go without you. “Gonna cum down you’re throat, bebita. You gonna be good for me? Gonna swallow it all for me?” 

The closer he felt his orgasm, the more Javi talked, some nonsense, some muttered Spanish you couldn’t make out. “Let me fill your mouth, baby let me fill you,” his cock throbbed in your mouth and his voice moaned out in desperation as he came. 

You could barley pull off of him he was so close to you, so you pulled his hips into your mouth deeper, the dark hair around his cock brushing against you as Javi spilled into your mouth. Between you pulling him in and Javi’s hand keeping your head in place, he filled your mouth with his cum so intensely. 

Trying to swallow everything as he came, but your eyes watered more and more at how overwhelmingly deep he was and how much he came right down your throat. The sensation forcing whines out of you that vibrated more against his sensitive cock. Milking his cum for every drop he could spill. 

As the last of it was swallowed down, you could hear Javi’s breathing in pants as his entire body sagged in relaxation. You very slowly pulled his cock out of your mouth, the slide causing him to let out a mix of a gasp and a hiss as you did so. 

For a moment all he could do was look at you, your red eyes with tears drying on your cheeks but all with a dazed proud smile as you watched him come down to earth. Finally you moved your hands to gently cup his cock as you ever so lightly licked his length once over, cleaning him of what cum had been mixed with your saliva coating what you didn’t swallow. 

“Jesus, fuck, come here, queirda-” Javi pulled you up to your feet as he jaw clenched from the over stimulation. Wanting to put more force into it initially, Javi paused. Struck at how softly you cupped his cheek and the gentle press of your lips on his, demanding nothing greater than a chaste kiss.  

His hands moved to your hips and pushed you slightly against the wall, returning the kiss just enough to keep him stuck in that fuzzy overwhelmed state, your hands raked through his hair as you pulled him off your lips. Pressing a kiss into his cheek, you moved both of you so Javi could sit on the edge of the bed. 

As his hand tried pulling you into his lap, you snatched your arm away to grab some simple sweatpants for him. Turning your back to face him you had a cheeky grin on your face. “You think you can handle this part by yourself?” 

A full laugh left you as Javi’s face fell into a flat unimpressed look. By the time you both got into bed, Javi had laid down first, and tried to coax you up onto his mouth. His grumpiness only shining through at being denied giving you pleasure was endearing. You just shook your head, cuddling up to his side as he turned onto his to properly hold you. “Really? You’re denying me the pleasure of tasting you? How is that far?” 

You shared another gentle kiss before you nudged your nose against his. “Sometimes it’s not about me Javi. Some nights I just want to make it about you. You deserve good things.” 

There was an unspoken moment of silence between you, he could snark back at how much pleasure he got from getting to taste you, but it was the first time in days he truly felt relaxed. That his muscles could melt into the sheets, and for now he accepted it. Pulling you close into his arms he muttered things against the top of your head in Spanish that he hoped you wouldn’t catch onto quite yet. 

In the quiet of the night, the only words spoken between you were short and simple before sleep over took you both. Javi’s voice rung deep in your ears, “It’s only going to get worse from here, quierda.” You wound your hand up onto his face to pull him into a final sleepy kiss. 

“Whatever happens I have your back, no matter what anyone else feels.” 

[star-girl69]

Ultraviolence

Natalie Scatorccio x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: mentions of death, swearing, mentions of a knife, mentions of starvation, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Six - Prayers

Chapter Six - Prayers

—-

1996-

Late last night, Misty had heated up the blade of the axe she used to cut Coach Ben’s leg off, and pressed it to his wound. He screamed for only a moment, before it tapered off- stopping abruptly.

When you got up to check if he was still alive, Misty was wrapping the new burned wound on his leg, and his breathing was harsh and heavy, but he was breathing.

With the silent forest, save the crackling of the fire and the sounds of the wilderness, you eventually fell asleep- telling yourself that morning will come, and so will rescue.

When you woke up, there was no rescue, and all of the girls whispered that it would simply come later in the day.

In the meantime, the grave digging started.

They weren’t finished until noon, using scrap bits of metal from the plane as shovels. Everyone stands around the small plot of graves, marked by pieces of metal with names drawn in marker.

You wonder faintly if that’s what they would have wanted.

Now, the earth is freshly scared with the imprint of the bodies, raising up the soil, but soon- the scars will fade. The ground will level out again. And besides for the metal marking the graves- no one would know they’re there.

“Before we took off,” Van starts, staring at the grave right in front of her, “I heard Rachel say that she was going to see Oasis at the Meadowlands next month. She was really excited. And she’s never gonna hear “Wonderwall” again.”

You can’t help but dig your feet into the ground, the tip of your Converse making a small indent in the soft soil. You thought back to what Shauna said to Javi. Is it really like sleeping? Does the dirt feel like a blanket? Are they warm? Cold?

“Come on,” Laura Lee says after a moment. “Let’s join hands.”

Squished between two freshmen, you hold out your hands, and the two girls on either side of you tenderly intwine their hands with yours.

“We’ll pray for them,” she says, and you almost smile- because what else would you expect from Laura Lee?

Slowly, all of the girls follow suit, grabbing hands, closing their eyes.

“Rachel,” Laura Lee starts, “You just moved up from JV, so we didn’t really know you. But, in Trig, you never confuses your secants and your cosecants. You seemed really smart. Anyone else?”

“I saw her carry a flute case once,” Van rushes out.

“Oh, Lord, please accept Rachel Goldman into your arms so that she may fill your kingdom with music.” She licks her lips, and blinks harshly. “Please accept Coach Martinez into your glory, too, and flight attendant Janet, pilot Robert, pilot Fred. Even thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

The world seems to fade out, and you faintly remember the funeral your mother had taken you too, the open casket, the eerie stillness of the body of a woman you never knew. But she knew you.

Your mother had told you not to be scared of death. But she had never been to the wilderness before.

“The Lord is my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is my strength. Whom shall I fear?”

“I’m going for a walk,” Tai announces suddenly, letting go of the others hands, walking towards the forest, away from the graves.

And soon, everyone followed suit, their hands dropping.

—-

“This is all we have?” one of the girls asks, a group gathered around the small collection of food and drinks the flight attendant was giving out.

“Yeah. We gotta ration,” Van says. She studies the small collection, before glancing at Shauna. “Okay. Cut them,” she says, leaving the knife next to the food. “Split this water,” she says to another girl, giving her a plastic water bottle.

“Well,” Jackie starts, looking at a small chocolate covered treat Shauna had given to her, “Maybe we can find something in the forest. I saw some berries-”

You perk up. “What did they look like?”

Jackie frowns. “Uh… they looked like little oranges.”

“Oh, no, you can’t eat those.” Everyone looks at you, confused and curious. You feel your cheeks warm up, but a suddenly realization comes to you. You are useful. You know the plants. “They’re probably Buckthorn berries, which are native around here. If you eat them, they cause swelling of uh, the nervous system, I think.” Another moment of silence. “My mother is a botanist, so…”

“Shit, really?” Van asks, looking around the woods. “You know what we can eat from here?”

You nod, feeling a little proud. “Um, elderberries should be around here too. If we cook those, then they’re not poisonous, but uncooked one’s are.”

“Okay,” Shauna nods, “we’ll have a little more to go off of.”

Akilah starts rationing out the water using the little plastic from the cart, everyone reminding her not to spill any.

Suddenly, Travis stands up and marches over to the pile of food, grabbing a bag of CornNuts.

“Dude!” Can shouted after him.

“Travis, what are you doing?” Jackie asks, and all of you watch as he marches off, not even looking back.

You stare at the small bag he has clutched in his fist, your stomach twisting angrily at the sight.

“Uh… Maybe you didn’t notice, but we’re kind of in a situation here, Flex.” Lottie says.

“Don’t.” Nat says.

Travis turns around for just a moment, leveling a sharp glare at Lottie, before continuing into the trees.

“Who died and made him king of snacks?” Lottie spits.

“His dad, Lottie. Literally… his fucking dad.”

“Nat’s right,” Jackie sighs. “We should cut him some slack.”

“I guess it’s fine if we all starve to death, as long as Travis’s feelings are okay…” Mari says.

“No one is starving to death. When the rescue team gets here, it’ll be fine, but for now-” Jackie starts.

“You mean if it gets here.”

“Don’t say that, Van.” Jackie says, looking slightly shocked.

“It… has been three days, Jackie.”

She smiles a bit, whether to cover up her true feelings, or if she really believes that they’ll come, you don’t know.

“They’re coming.”

—-

“Guys!” Tai shouted, returning finally from her long walk, panting. “Guys! There’s a lake! There’s a lake. I saw it from over that hill,” she points, “It looks about 4 or 5 miles away.”

You couldn’t help a small smile from winding its way onto your face. Elderberries would grow well in the soil by a lake, and other plants too. Maybe if you could just get there and recognize a few of them, you would remember more, and be able to help more-

“Do you think we can hike it?” Shauna asks.

“It’s pretty rocky,” Taissa breathes, “but yeah.”

“Uh, we, uh, we can’t… we can’t just leave,” Jackie stutters, standing up and gesturing from the plane to the direction Taissa came from.

You can tell she has no support.

“We have two days of water, tops.”

Jackie shakes her head slightly, as if to say “so?”

“And then what?” Tai continues. “Just sit around and die?” Your stomach twists.

Before all of this, you had things you wanted to do, a life you wanted to live.

“What of the rescue team comes?”

“Do you think they’re taking their time on purpose?” Taissa looks around, and while some people haven’t accepted it- you’re not a fool. If they were coming, they would have come by now. “If they knew where we were then they would be here already.”

“You don’t know that,” Jackie sneers, not unkindly, but she gets the point across.

“What do you think, Coach?”

Everyone turns to the man who you once thought wouldn’t make it through the night, now barely alive, sitting on a plane seat the girls had dragged outside. He relied on Misty for everything.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” he says, clutching his amputated leg. “Uh, I mean, you’d have to leave me behind. But, whatever.”

“We could make you a stretcher,” Tai declares, looking around. But at the first inkling that going to the lake would keep you all alive for longer- most of the girls were swayed.

“Oh, okay,” Jackie laughs.

“Seriously. If we take turns carrying it-”

“N-no! This-this is bullshit. I say no. Okay? No way.”

After Jackie’s outburst, no one speaks for a second. You look around the group of girls gathered, and most of them can’t even look at Jackie. They’ve already made their decision. You look at Nat, but her eyes are fixed to the floor.

“Let’s put it to a vote,” Tai says, staring at Jackie. “All in favor of waiting here?” Jackie raises her hand. Only a few other girls follow suit. “All in favor of the lake?” Tai raises her hand, and after a moment, you do as well.

Natalie raises her hand too.

Even Shauna raises her hand, which earns her a scorching glare from Jackie, but before anything else can happen, Tai speaks.

“Then it’s settled.”

—-

You stuffed all your clothes into your bag, a hairbrush, other toiletries- and finally, after a moment, you grabbed the small glass cube. Your mom had gifted it to you a few years ago, back when she was around more, before your dad had left, and she hadn’t thrown herself into your work and slowly stared to forget about you.

The rest of these girls probably all had people who cared for them. Who wanted them to come home. You wondered if your mother had even noticed your absence.

Inside the small glass cube was a preserved sample of deadly nightshade. A small stem with a few berries, one leaf. You wondered often if the poison still worked.

Slowly, everyone filed into a rough line, and you all began your descent to the lake.

You wondered faintly if Laura Lee should have lead you all in prayer before you started the hike.

—-

taglist:

@sweetdayme4427 @dreaming-for-an-escape @peachydoki

[nightendale]

The killing moon part 1 | natalie scatorccio x reader (Yellowjackets)

Master list

Words 6k

Chapter one “I heard a rumour, what have you done to her”

"Gabriella you've got work on your footing" She can hear him, she can always hear him, he stays in the back of her mind as a constant reminder that no matter what she wasn't what he had planned for his life, she knew from birth she was a series of supposed to bes', second bests, she was supposed to be born a boy, a mistake made by one of the doctors who didn't look close enough, she was supposed to be an Olympian in the making, for god sake, her father was a soccer coach it was in her genes, but no matter how many things her father had planned for her she always fell second best a constant reminder of what should've been.

Gabriella knew from a young age that she was never going to live up to what her father wanted, but she tried god she tried. She was so selfish for his love, so selfish and so desperate which is why when her father shows praise for another girl on her team, a girl Gabriella hasn't bothered to even get the name of, she feels it, the thing she's felt her whole life and knows she has to get his attention any attention, bad, good anything she needed it, that mindset alone was dangerous but the fact that she had now made eye contact with the stick poking out of the ground was more.

"She's bleeding"

"COACH SHES BLEEDING"

"Gabriella's bleeding"

Gabriella laid on the ground smiling up as everything around her moved at fast paces, she knew she was selfish, how couldn't she be in a life like this when acting selfishly is the only way to receive love.

"JACKIE" a teammate had shouted from somewhere on the grass making Gabriella look towards the girl whose name was being yelled, the Yellowjackets, her father's greatest accomplishment, were currently playing their last game of the season, the game that was the deciding factor of whether or not the Martinez house was going to be silent or boastful. The game so far didn't look too good, the teams coming up on a tie, that's until Gabriella watches as the ball shoots right at Jackie's head bouncing off and landing right into the goal.

For a second it is silent, the realisation of what just happened slowly hitting everyone.

Then it goes.

"WERE GOING TO NATIONALS BITCHES"  a scream is heard.

Then a circle forms, and someone's hand grabs Gabriella's wrist and drags her into it as well, she stumbles clashing against her other teammates but no one notices or cares, they're too busy jumping.

"BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" The girls are cheering and laughing so hard that Gabriella can't help but join in, they're going to nationals.

-

"That was a good game, Gabriella," her dad starts and before she can even get happy at the acknowledgment, "but you still gotta work on that left foot of yours" It comes crashing down again, she knows he isn't saying this to be hurtful, lord knows he's said worse, and at this point, she doesn't take his cruel words to heart anymore, the desperation for her father's affection whilst still strong, doesn't crumble her world as much as it used to, at least not since the incident.

Gabriella acknowledges what her father says worth a grumble, then turning to stare at the window, she wonders what it would be like living a life that doesn't feel like a battle for approval, a father that wanted a girl.

After a bit of driving the father and daughter duo pull into the family's garage, the two getting out of the car and heading inside their nice suburban home.

"mija how was the game today" Gabriella's mother greets her, cooking some dinner in the kitchen.

"Was good" Gabriella replies shortly, giving her mom a nod to which her mother just turns back to the task at hand. "You going to nationals?" She hears a voice ask from the kitchen table, it's Javi her little brother, the only other person that's just as much a fuck up in this family as she is. "Yes el perdedor" Gabriella replies while putting a hand in his hair and ruffling it.

"Gabriella leave your brother alone," her mother tsks at the two teenagers "But that's amazing, you Yellowjackets are something".

And Gabriella knows her mother is right, she just hates that she has to share that stage of talent with others.

Gabriella nods at her mother's comment and mumbles something about needing to go to her room for a bit.

-

Gabriella has gone the last four years without forming a singular proper bond with any of her teammates outside of what was necessary, it honestly wasn't something she did on purpose she just didn't have time for a social life by the time she was finished with everything else, soccer and her school came first, people are disposable and are to only been interacted with when they can provide something.

This is why it is very awkward for her on days like this when they're doing a prep rally, a whole event dedicated to them which meant acting like she was happy to be sharing the spotlight.

In the locker room and she stares into her blue locker, thinking of soccer strategies while her teammates all around her are singing along to Salt n Peppas shoop.

"Girls what's my weakness!?"

"MEN!"

The Locker room erupts in louder singing, laughter and what seems like Taissa and Natalie doing a makeshift dance or rap battle with each other, the noise catches Gabriella's attention and she looks at the Miniature concert, as she does  she makes eye contact with Natalie, one of her teammates who in particular has a vendetta against Gabriella, she's short to everyone else but Gabriella with shaggy blonde hair that just screams I don't care, and dark eye make up that makes her already piercing blue eyes somehow even more piercing, so piercing in fact that Gabriella takes one look and slams her locker shut walking off, not wanting to feel the strangeness she fills in her stomach, people are disposable.

Gabriella walks into the bathroom area of the locker room seeing more of her teammates in there, Van and Allie, Van is the teams' goalie a pretty girl with sharp features and red hair and Allie is their youngest addition, a freshman that honestly Gabriella doesn't really understand how she got on the team but she doesn't question her father.

Upon Gabriella entering Van looks up smiling at her, " hey flex, You want a bee too?" She says nodding towards the pile of face paint next to her being used to draw a bee currently on allies face, while Allie is mumbling about something.

Gabriella shakes her head no, giving Van what she hopes is a kind smile. It luckily must've come across as such cause Van smiles at her back and then goes back to focusing her full attention on allies cheek.

Looking away from van she spots Lottie standing in the doorway that leads to the auditorium, nodding her head at her in acknowledgment Gabriella realises she hasn't seen one of her team members at all, "where's Jackie?" She asks, why are you asking , she shakes the thought and looks back at Lottie awaiting the reply.

"Coach asked to see her" Lottie says a little sheepishly, Gabriella feels her jaw tense a little at hearing this, she knows what this meeting means and she also knows she should be in there not Jackie, but she doesn't voice these opinions just puts a polite smile back on and nods.

Disposable

Gabriella turns away from the other girls back here and looks in the mirror fixing her appearance up, looking at herself she takes notice of everything, her nose is too long too manly she thinks, her brows are too unkept, her blue eyes look dull and lifeless opposed to others, her shoulder length brown hair is too short for her liking and so is her fringe that is cut into a micro-bang style a hair style only to make sure nothing goes in her face while playing, after assessing her face she decides it's too manly and probably the reason she's never had a boyfriend, not that she minds too much, boyfriends don't provide anything to her.

She then looks down at her body currently covered by the blue and yellow colour soccer uniform, and decides that while her face is too manly her body is too womanly, her body developed too much while having a lot in the truck on her chest, the lower part of her body was just put muscle from the years of playing soccer.

She stares at her body deciding her chest is what was the cause of those years of torment from bobby and she can't stand to look at herslef anymore when that thought flashes through.

Stepping back from the mirror she grabs her straightened hair and puts it in two low buns.

Finally out of her own head she hears van scoff "you're done" she says to Allie, the younger girl nodding and practically skipping off while van still stands there in shock about something. Before Gabriella gets to ask what she missed Lottie scoffs and comes to stand next to van, "Jesus Christ" van and lottie laugh "does someone wanna tell Kelly Kapowski to maybe worry less about prom and worry more about not fucking up nationals" Lottie finishes while fixing her hair, van making faces in the mirror and taissa now joking the four of them in the bathroom also looking in the mirror.

"Oh come on." Van says.

"If she plays like she did at states-" Lottie starts until taissa looks up with a knowing smile "don't worry, that's not going to happen" she says crossing her arms still smiling, she then walks off.

Gabriella is left standing there feeling like she might've missed some big context, but doesn't bother asking cause honestly she couldn't care.

Disposable.

-

"Now our next act needs no introduction, so let's  all just make some noise for your New Jersey girls state soccer champions" Gabriella hears the Principal yell out marking the girls cue to run out.

The train of Yellowjackets leads with jackie the girls all running out to the beach boys good vibrations playing loudly over the auditorium speakers, as they run the girls crack smiles all feeling like a prize in auction on show while the school students and staff all cheer and holler for them.

The girls run into a line standing next to each other, Gabriella stands somewhat in the middle of line next to Natalie, she looks into the crowd of people cheering for her basking in the delusion that her dad is there cheering on for just her, but she knows the reality of it. While standing there, she feels soemthing brush against her hand, not thinking much of it she continues pretending her dad is there watching only her, when she feels it again, she looks down and see Natalie trying to press her pointer finger tip to hers, she glared at Natalie and as subtly as she can moves away from the touch not caring to even look at the other girls reaction.

Disposable.

-

Walking out of the school building next to shauna , Gabriella sees three of her other teammates in a semi circle talking, Gabriella guesses soemthing serious is getting spoken about because she can feel the tension from here, and from that alone she is ready to walk away and have no part in it, until she over hears taissa.

"This is what we worked for all season you really wanna take that chance?"

Upon hearing this both shauna and Gabriella make their way joining the circle, "yeah cause I'm not a fucking asshole" Nat retaliates back.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shauna questions, Gabriella not bothering to speak but curious.

Lottie looking a little bit stressed is the first to give any idea to the conversation at hand "Allie."

Before Lottie can say anything else, "what about her?" Shauna questions again.

"Did you black out at states," taissa questions looking at the Shauna and Gabriella "she totally choked-"

"She's a freshman tai" Natalie cuts in. "She's a liability" taissa finishes.

"So what do you want to do about it?" Shauna questions again, Gabriella staring straight at taissa wanting to hear what she's got planned, as much as Gabriella thinks getting to know her teammates is pointless from what she knows of taissa she trusts her judgment when it comes to winning, taissa is headstrong and taissa is selfish like Gabriella she fights for that spotlight as well and will do what it takes to win no matter the cost, something Gabriel can admire in a person.

"She can't screw up if she doesn't get the ball." Taissa says as a matter of fact.

"You want to freeze her out?" Shauna says finally understanding what's going on.

Gabriel looks around trying to have the other girls opinions, none of them are readable except taissa who has clearly given this some thought and Natalie who looks so offended by the sheer idea of the context of the conversation.

"Atleast we'd know what we're working with-" taissa says arms crossed looking around to see if any one agrees with her, "she does have a point." Gabriella says dryly, the other looks at her in shock that she's stated an opinion and actually spoken to them, all of them except Natalie though who is now glaring daggers at not just taissa but also gabriella.

"She does kinda suck," Lottie also adds, "but I don't know"

"That's because it's bullshit." Nat says still looking at gabriella with a look that can only be described as betrayal, Gabriella doesn't humour her with a expression back choosing to remain unfazed but she doesn't understand nats looks at her, she doesn't owe her anything.

"Oh yeah what's your plan then?" Taissa says with a hint of venom in her tone dropping her hands.

"I don't know, play like a fucking team and win," Natalie says returning the tone, looking taissa up and down "it's worked so far"

"Everything works until it doesn't, and for the record you smell like a wino, get your shit together" taissa says back to her.

Natalie looks around at everyone seeing if they are going to say something, she stops when her eyes land on Gabriella, Gabriella raises a eyebrow to her and Natalie's eyes turn back into a glare.

"You know what," she looks down a smile now on her face "fuck this" she says, giving one last harsh look to Gabriella  and storms off away from the girls.

"Wow." Taissa says, turning to the group.

"Doesn't feel right." Lottie says leaving in the same direction Natalie did.

Gabriella decides to leave at the same time as Lottie, not bothering to state an opinion anymore , once Taissa has her mind up on something there's no changing it anyways, not that she wants to change this one.

-

"Alright everyone bring it in, take a knee ladies," coach Ben says, blowing his whistle to get the team who is currently doing drills attention.

"What's up state champs!," the girls are now on their knees on the ground in front of him, his words causing them to cheer at the mention of their recent win. "Okay so, jv is gonna help us out with a little scrimmage today, coach Martinez had to take care of a family thing," his words bring confusing to Gabriella, family thing? There's no family thing? He never misses a practice, clearly some of the other team members have the same train of thought as her cause when she looks up again there's heads turned looking at her, "so jv you're gonna grab a penny from misty and get started" coach finishes the curious girls not interested in what's going on with coach anymore.

"Coach Scott shouldn't we say a prayer first?" One of the girls says, Laura Lee a tall blonde girl with a heart of gold and a love for religion, if there's anyone on this team you can't hate it's her.

"Ah it's just a scrimmage Laura Lee" coach says a little uncomfortable. Laura Lee in her politest way possible is not taking that for an answer and shoots coach ben an awkward half smile, "but, uh sure yeah knock yourself out" he finally relents.

"Heavenly father let our efforts remain fruitful," Laura Lee begins the prayer, some girls put their head down prayer some others just stay silent in respect. Gabriella has never been the religious type remembering how awful it felt getting dragged to church as a kid, but she also isn't the non religious type, it's kind of another thing that feels disposable to her, serves her no need or goal.

"Amen" she hears some girls shout bring her out of her short thoughts, the word signifying Laura Lee end of grace, and the start of practice.

At the command of coach Scott the girls all start practicing, Gabriella taking her place at the back as a centre back she watches the game unfold in front of her.

Throughout the game she notices Natalie passing a lot to Allie something that brings an eye roll to Gabriella's face, and as much as it seems Natalie is trying to help Allie out, Allie is still falling at getting the ball.

Being reminded of the conversation from earlier she notices Taissa run up to coach and says something to him, nothing Gabriella can hear from her position. "Alright let's go variety, Taissa wants to see you step it up and quite frankly so do I"

That's when it happens, Gabriella watches the scene happen so fast, disposable, it starts with Taissa taking charge of the ball stealing it from Allie, Allie then trying to take the ball back in retaliation and Taissa reacting to this by pushing Allie away "this is the game step it up" Gabriella hears being said between the two girls.

She watches as shauna goes up to Taissa where they have a small conversation, Gabriella not able to hear this either, but she knows what's about to happen isn't good she feels it, she feels it like she felt it that day.

She runs, she runs fast, runs from her dads words, her teammates screams, she runs, she sees it, a stick, a big stick it's got almost 30 centimetres of height to it and a thick pointy end, she runs to it and without thinking she does it SNAP.

She wishes bones snapping didn't sound so close to a stick snapping, because if it didn't she wouldn't be standing here in the middle of her soccer field trying to calm what feels like might be a panic attack. Taissa had a plan, and Taissas selfish like her.

The scene feels unreal to her, like it's a cruel joke set out to remind her of the wrong she'd done. Taissa had broken allies leg, not just broken her leg she had hit her hard enough the girls bone snapped in half and was currently out on view for all to see the damaged caused by Taissa.

Everyone around her is panicking, allies screaming is all she can seem to focus her mind on, she's trying to understand but everything feels to much, she wants to help she wants to say something, do anything but she can't she is selfish, she doesn't want to speak and feel any burden of guilt of what had to been done to his girl, so she doesn't help she stays quiet, and she stays quiet as she watches misty try to help, she stays quiet as coach Scott and her teammates rush to aide, and she stays quiet as Allie is rushed off to hospital.

-

Ironically enough the locker room is too quiet, everyone's acting busy getting ready to go home so no one has to mention what just happened on the soccer field.

Gabriella sits on the floor back against some random locker, she has her head down focusing on her breathing when Jackie comes in "I know we're all really worried about Allie, but it might not be as bad as it looks." Gabriella looks up at Jackie, staring blankly wondering what her father sees in this girl to make her captain.

Natalie says what everyone's thinking "you could see her fucking bones Jackie, I'm pretty sure it's exactly as bad as it looks." As she finishes she shoots a look at Gabriella.

"I'm going to be sick." Van says nausea radiating off the girl.

"Ok but, I mean, we're still a team and we still have each other." Jackie says crossing her arms over, she looks so desperate to be a leader that Gabriella kind of feels a bit of putty towards the girl.

"And the lord works in mysterious ways" Laura Lee offers up trying to be kind. At her works Natalie stands up and slams her locker shut grabbing her bag storming out, "nice work Taissa" Natalie's words leaving a solemn aura to the room as no one dares to say anymore.

-

"How was school turd?" Gabriella asks as her little brother gets into the passenger seat. The young boy looks up and rolls his eyes at his sisters name calling, "it was fine, how was your prep rally and practice?"

Gabriella sighs and gives a dead look back, jacks understands what she means by that and turns the radio up, setting the two Martinez children into a comfortable silence.

You'd think Gabriella would be over silences, with how silent her day to day life is but the truth is there's nothing she loves more, silent means no socialising, silence means not saying the wrong thing, silence leaves no room for mistakes and that comforts Gabriella.

The rest of ride home is silent only ever sometimes filled with the noise of javi sketching something. Gabriella drives but she can't stop thinking about Natalie's look, it was so distraught, so betrayed? Gabriella wonders what she has done to the girl, they hardly knew each other, the lingering thought of you know why keeps voicing itself in the back of her mind, but before she can even touch on it the siblings are pulling into the family's drive way.

Upon walking into the house Gabriella can sense the tension, today their house inst a place of home but instead a warzone. proving Gabriella's suspicions right when she turns the corner into the dining room her mother and father sit clearly ready to have a family talk.

Javi and Gabriella share a look between themselves, "mi hijo sit please," their mother says quietly ushering them to sit down.

Once the two teens are seated their father clears his throat, "me and your mother are taking a little break," he starts, Gabriella feels her fingers start ripping at the skin around her fingernail, "I've done something to upset your moth-"

"cerdo you slept with a another woman!" Gabriella's mother shrieks cutting her father off, "me and your father are getting a divorce" she states plainly staring at her once was husband with disgust.

Javi goes to say something but Gabriella stands up loudly, "no," she says about to walk off.

"What do you mean no?" Her father says growing angry at the situation and his daughters growing attitude.

Gabriella stands tall for once not feeling afraid of her father, he doesn't have perfect anymore "I said no, you both don't get to do this to me, I leave for nationals tomorrow, you didn't even show up to practice today dad. You held getting to nationals over my head for Months you don't to get just push this onto me as well, sort it out after nationals." She says leaving her parents a little stunned, she doesn't get to take much of it in though cause as quickly as she spoke she was out of the dinning room ignoring her fathers booming voice to come right back and heading upstairs instead.

Gabriella enters her room, its a medium sized room decked out like a image of what a teenage girls room should be, all white furniture with big white fuzzy blankets and a small bear plushie in the middle of her pillows, the room screams femininity all furniture bought by her dad and not allowed to be changed, the only thing that shows Gabriella actually lives in this room is the wall of soccer trophies from over the years and a framed photo of her and javi on her nightstand, other then that you'd think this was a show room and sometimes she has a hard time remembering it's not.

Gabriella for the past four years hasn't socialised with anyone, her limited socialisation comes from her teammates and javi, she's been too a couple of highschool parties never really enjoying them, but she's never been to one for the Yellowjackets something about it seems commit full like if she goes she's pushing an image she doesn't know if she likes, which is why she's confused staring at her freshly make up caked face and an outfit consisting of a black sweater and small black skirt.

She looks at her hair deciding to just leave it down and heads out her house before she can have any second thoughts about going to this party.

-

The whole way to the party Gabriella tries to not think think about what happened at the last party she attended, she makes a point to note the same won't happen again tonight.

Upon arriving she notices shauna and Jackie drinking together with a bunch of other people she doesn't know too well around a bunch of cars, she also takes notice that Natalie is here, choosing not to notice the clammy feeling her hands have suddenly gotten, and decides if she's gonna make it through this party she needs a drink.

Grabbing a drink off van who seems to be guarding the keg Stand she walks off to sip at her drink leaning against a tree regretting even coming.

In true Yellowjackets fashion she gets reminded why she doesn't come to these events when shauna walks over to Taissa.

"I admire your resilience knowing you fucking crippled someone today" Shauna says to Taissa, clearly drunk, Lottie and van standing next to the girls but not getting in the conversation yet.

"Ok good talk" Taissa says defeated and goes to walk off until Shauna speaks up clearly not wanting this argument to end, "just admit you did it on purpose"

Taissa turns around slowly and walks back up to Shauna, Gabriella stands heading towards the girls the sinking feeling from practice coming back again. "excuse me?" Taissa says on the defence instead this time.

"You heard me"

"Your wasted" Taissa says trying to diffuse the situation.

"And you're a sociopath." Shauna says back keeping the argument going.

Van seeing where this is heading puts a hand out on Shauna "woah, calm down."

Shauna immediately pushes van off, "no, listen you guys we don't have to worry about the Allie problem anymore, because Taissa fixed it for us." Shaunas getting louder and louder by the second, causing more attention to be drawn to the group of girls, Laura Lee and Natalie now also joining the girls.

"What's she talking about?" Gabriella hears Laura Lee ask Natalie. "She's talking about Taissa little plan."

Taissa turns to them both "oh please, since when did you give a shit anyway, don't you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck?"

Gabriella goes to defend Natalie but Shauna beats her to the chase "don't talk to her like that" she semi slurs at Taissa.

"Oh fuck off shauna, I don't need you to defend me," Natalie says sounding more pissed off "last time I checked you were fine with the whole freeze her out strategy."

"Okay seriously what are we talking about?" Laura Lee finally exclaims louder.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LAURA LEE!" The group yells in unison except Gabriella.

"Okay can we all just chill the fuck out no need to yell." Gabriella says moving to stand close to Laura Lee, she pretends not to notice Natalie's odd stare at her movement.

Some of the girls like van and Lottie start talking over the test agreeing that they need to stop until Taissa decides to start it back up again, "somebody needs to take her wasted ass home"

Shauna gets closer to Taissa "say that again bitch" at this the two girls start arguing and trying to fight each other.

Van and Lottie trying to push them apart and diffuse the situation, Gabriella just standing there noticing Natalie's stare.

The argument starts actually getting physical with Gabriella now also trying to get the girls to back off from each other, but it doesn't matter cause all the yelling has drawn them an audience and some boy yells "cat fight!" The girls still not stopping only getting worse also gets Jackie's attention who now stomps over to the group.

"ENOUGH!" She yells at them causing them all to go quiet, she looks around seeming a little shocked her yell worked and honestly Gabriella is too cause even she's tuned into what Jackie's got to say.

After a moment Jackie says loudly "Yellowjackets with me NOW!" And storms off further into the tree filled area, all the girls following suit, even Gabriella to her own surprise, maybe her dad was right. Disposable

"I don't know what the fuck that was, but I do know that it's over," Jackie starts talking to the group of girls, "we're about to go to nationals and based on what I'm looking at right now, we may as well not even bother getting on that plane." She pauses looking at her team, seeming like she's thinking up something.

"Alright," she pauses "everybody line up" she stops for a second and when nobody moves she continues "no I'm fucking serious line up come on!" She orders clapping her hands together.

The girls start forming a line Gabriella placed between lotting and Shauna and she thinks again about her dads choice of Jackie being their leader and kind of understands his decision.

"Here's what we're gonna do," Jackie starts once the girls are in a proper line "I want each of you to go down this line and say one nice true thing about every other girl on this team."

"What is this fucking Girl Scout camp." Taissa says softly to van causing van to snort.

"Who wants to go first?" Jack asks. "I'll go Jackie" Laura Lee says enthusiastically stepping up to do this activity causing Jackie to break out in a smile and let Laura start.

Laura Lee makes her way in front of Taissa first "Taissa, you are beautiful in the eyes of our lord" Gabriella can already tell how this gonna go based if this first interaction but doesn't say anything.

After Taissa let's out a mumble of acknowledgment laura Lee then moves down to van.

"Van you are beaut-" "oh my god" Lottie exclaims with annoyance causing some of the other girls to giggle.

"Ok laura Lee fall back," Jackie says seeming a little stressed "okay, I'll go first"

Jackie makes her way in front of Taissa, "Taissa turner, you have more fight in you then anyone I've ever know, I'm inspired by your determination." Jackie says to the girl leaving her seeming at a loss for words.

When Taissa doesn't reply Jackie moves down to van, "Vanessa Palmer," van does a little head nod at this, "your smile makes me feel happy everytime I see it" Jackie giggles out, van blushes and nods her head in what seems like gratitude.

"Laura Lee, I truly admire your faith" Laura Lee smiles and nods happily.

"Nat I love that you don't care what anybody thinks," Natalie looks a little uncomfortable hearing the compliment but Jackie continues "your so completely yourself-"

"She's also deadly at beer pong" van announces causing laughter erupt within the group, "so go on tell her," Jackie says urging the girls to partake.

Gabriella gets paired up with Taissa first, "taissa I admire how loyal you are to the sport, how you'll do what you can to make sure we'll succeed" Gabriella thinks up on the spot, she doesn't know these people she cant really participate in this activity but she tried and Taissa seems to understand that and gives her a polite smile and nod.

"Flex, I think you're very strong and like how you never back down on your opinions" Taissa says making it Gabriella's turn to smile and nod.

Somehow after tassia Gabriella lands face to face with Natalie, who's staring down at her with big eyes, her pupils dilated by ten fold. The two girls just stare at each other for a second not knowing what to say or who to start when Natalie breaks the stare off by giggly softly.

"I think you're prettyyy," Natalie giggles playing with Gabriella's hair "and I think about that night a lottt" Natalie adds on still playing with the other girls hair, her words slurring a little bit clearly on something judging from the state she's in, knowing that Natalie is saying this while under the influence leaves a small pang in Gabriella's chest, but it goes ignored.

Gabriella freezes at that last sentence her mouth going dry, disposable, your sick, get away from your sick, starts screaming in her head, she feels it again, she felt it when she carved that stick into her back, she felt it when bobby farleigh made up the rumour of her being a dyke, she felt it when her and Nat kissed at that party, and she felt it when she saw allies bone. She needs to leave she needs to get out she can't be sick.

Gabriella pushes Natalie's hand off her and speed walks away, ignoring the confused where are you going and come backs of the others and especially ignoring the look on Natalie's face, she needs to get home, she can't be here anymore.

On her way home she tries to force her brain to think about nationals, nationals is all that matters, not Jackie's stupid line up, not Natalie's constant reminder of that party, not her parents marriage, just nations the rest of it all was just disposable.

Notes:

Word count (5844) hey guys so this is the first chapter!! I don't have a set in plan for the story yet but it is going to follow the episodes quite closely but also with some cannon divergence cause yeah Travis inst there but instead my girl Gabriella. Also non of the things in this story said about lgbt+ is meant to harm or reflection of my feelings, it is just Gabriella is a closeted lesbian in the 90s she's gonna have some internalised homophobia so sorry about the words used. But anyways I hope this whole chapter made sense and you guys enjoyed it, idk when chapter two will be out cause this took me awhile to write but hopefully sometime soon :))) byeee.

[startheimpactfangirl]

star x Leona playlist so far

Stupid with love

Goodbye,My Danish sweetheart

I won't say I'm in love

Not another song about love

Boyfriend by dove Cameron

Highschool sweethearts

Lemon boy

Honeypie

Partners in crime

something stupid by frank sinatra

Falling for ya by teen Beach

Love sick - laufey

Valentine - laufey

Don't wanna fall in love - kyle

Light shower - Melanie Martinez

Movie Scenes - Javi That’s Me

Still into you - Paramore

Rescue me - OneRepublic

My love mine all mine - mitski

The perfect pair - beabadoobee

Bad habit - Steve lacy

Clusterhug

Lay all your love on me - Abba

[proceduralpassion]

It's Gonna Be A Scream

Day 29 of Narcoctober- Create a fanwork inspired by your favorite horror movie.

Character(s): Javier Peña x Reader; Steve Murphy, Connie Murphy, Horacio Carrillo, Trujillo, Hugo Martinez

CW: violence, blood, character death (both implied and real)

WC: 689

A/N: The way this needs to be an entire fic and/or series??

Your lungs were on fire. The muggy Texas air didn’t help matters. All you felt was hot, thick cotton stuffing its way down your trachea with each breath you took. Every ounce of energy was going into getting away from certain death. You were too tantalized with fear to turn around and see if you were still being chased. Instead, you looked in front of you. Working overtime to catch up to Javi.

One of your best friends ever since you got to college kept swiping glances back at you, not sprinting too far away from you. The two of you got separated from the rest of the group somewhere in all of the frenzy and now you were both alone as you ran for your lives.

Adrenaline was a hell of a drug. No one was given much chance to come to terms with finding Hugo’s bloodied remains in a heap outside the lone Victorian-style farmhouse they had stopped at for help with their overheated travel van. Connie’s screams had permeated through the air as she realized that she had discovered the newly deceased body of their college friend and travel buddy. Steve immediately pulled her away, yelling, “Holy shit, that’s Hugo!”

Everyone’s yelps of confusion and horror gets drowned out by the sound of a chainsaw and the large man wielding it who’s charging straight at them. 

Horacio and Trujillo take off towards the house while Steve is pulling Connie back towards another vehicle on the land, hoping and praying that it’ll work. 

You immediately flee for the opposite direction in which the violent slaughterer is coming from. Javi falls in step with you and he points out the woodsy area that would hopefully provide shelter. It’s farther away from the roads in which you all drove in to get to the house, but you’re left with no choice. 

Your feet pound into the ground, carrying you further and further away except you don’t hear the sound of the chainsaw growing less quiet with time. You know he’s following you. You can’t bear to turn around and confirm, but you know it. 

Javi looks back once more now that he’s several steps in front of you, “Come on!” 

You clear the tall grass of the southern fields. It’s reedy and thick for the first several feet. The sound of the deadly weapon dissipates some, like he’s stopped. You’re catching up to Javi finally, but the two of you don’t stop. The fescue grass starts getting thinner in some areas, patchier, but there’s trees up ahead and you’ve got a good chance of completely losing your friend’s murderer if you can get across where there’s possible civilization. 

The sound of the chainsaw grows quieter and quieter and there comes a point when the two of you don’t hear it at all. Javi puts a finger to his mouth, willing quietness. He grabs onto your hand and pulls you both closer to the ground. The grass is getting shorter and there’s about thirty feet between it and the expansive space of trees. There’s no cover in that small feat. If the killer’s attention was no longer on them, it wouldn’t matter anyway, but it was still a risk.

You glance into each other’s eyes and realize the same thing at the same time. It’s do or die. Now or never. 

The both of you stop at the border that stops at the reeds and begins the wide open field before hitting the woods. A few seconds feels like a few hours. Thousands of words are exchanged between the desperate gaze the two of you share. The confessions you want to make. The feelings that you’ve both held for years. The promises you make to yourselves and to each other of what happens when this is all over. 

There’s no silent countdown. The two of you just nod and dart out into the open, making the rough, muddy terrain your track field.

Your lungs burn. 

Your feet hurt. 

The chainsaw drums up again. DALLAS MORNING NEWS- 7 University of Texas Students Reported Missing, Last Seen Traveling Together on Spring Break

Click here if you wanna be added to the taglist! Taglist: @asirensrage @drabbles-mc @ashlingnarcos @narcosfandomdiscord

[flightlessangelwings]

La Estrella de mi Vida, Part 2/3

Javi Gutierrez x fem!reader (nicknamed Estrella, no use of y/n)

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: smut (18+ ONLY!), handjob, unprotected sex, outdoor car sex, injury and blood (not super descript), reader has medical knowledge, hurt/comfort, feelings, fluff, lots of movie easter eggs in this one (please let me know if I missed anything)

Notes: This is my favorite part cause of all the fluff and feelings and sweetness! I see this part taking place about a year before the movie. And I promise the ending to this part is much happier than it was in part 1 lol! And I hope y’all enjoy the movie references I put in here too. Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates​ is my update blog to stay up to date on when I post!

~

Your father’s clinic has been busier than ever lately. Part of you was grateful for it; helping your father out was a good distraction from your heartbreak, but at the same time it was draining work. You mostly helped clean and sitch up injuries, the same thing your father specialized in, and you also did all the books for him and helped keep the clinic running behind the scenes. 

Since there were few your father trusted, a lot fell on you.

Since the day Javi pushed you away years ago, you hadn’t been back to the compound. Yet, you thought about him often, especially when other cartel members would talk. Sometimes you saw one of Javi’s men, and the temptation was there to ask about him, but you kept your mouth shut.

A lot of the men you tended to sometimes hit on you while you helped them, but they usually backed off once they realized you were the doctor’s daughter. Mostly you ignored their advances, you were used to the looks anyway, but lately you would pick select men to see for one night to try and fill the void that Javi left. None of them ever lived up to Javi though, and you never called them again. Not that they expected any more than one night with you anyway.

“Mijia,” your father called from his office one afternoon.

You rushed in since his voice sounded urgent, “Something wrong?”

“I need you to go on a house call for me,” he hung up the phone and stood, “The Martinez brothers are keeping me busy here and the Gutierrez estate just called needing help.”

The name froze you in place, “Javi…” you whispered.

“It doesn’t sound too critical, there was a car accident and he can’t make it over here. I think you can handle that on your own,” your father tried to reassure you as he crossed the room and put his hand on your shoulder, “You got this, corazon.”

While you hadn’t told your father the details of your brief relationship with Javi, he was a smart man and he knew something was up when you came home the next morning with a solemn look on your face. Of everyone that he saw in the clinic, your father would have been happy to see you with Javi. He was a good judge of character, and he could tell that Javi was a good man with a good heart and would take care of you when he couldn’t. But, it didn’t seem in the cards for you, so your father just supported you as best he could, even in his older age now.

“I’m proud of you, you know that right?” Your father nudged you to try and coax a smile. He noticed the way your body tensed at the name, and though he knew you weren’t happy about it, you could go since he asked you to. Still, he truly meant those words to you. Although there were times he wished he could have given you a better, safer, more stable life, your father was still grateful to have you by his side.

“Thanks papa,” you flashed a brief smile and gave him a hug before you gathered your supplies and went on your way.

You gritted your teeth the entire drive to the Gutierrez compound as you mumbled incoherent curses to yourself. This was the last place you wanted to be, but duty called. You were good at what you did, though it wasn’t your calling. It was just what seemed like the next step in your life, following your father’s footsteps.

Your grip on the steering wheel tightened as the massive estate came into view, “Dammit, Javi,” you muttered to yourself as you forced yourself into a more neutral expression. How would you react when you saw him again for the first time in years? Part of you wanted to just slap him silly, but you also couldn’t help the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of seeing him again. The guard let you in and you quickly made your way into the grand room where they kept Javi.

But all your conflicting emotions vanished when you walked into the room and saw Javi lying on the couch in a bloody mess. Even from a distance, you saw a huge bruise on his cheek and his side was soaked in blood. He looked terrible, and yet when he saw you, his face lit up and he looked just as beautiful as the day you last saw him.

“Mi estrella…” his voice was so soft that you barely heard him, but you knew exactly what he said.

Suddenly, nothing from the past mattered anymore and all you cared about was getting him fixed up, “Shit Javi, what happened?” you asked as you rushed to his side and quickly dug out your tools.

Javi let out a labored laugh, “It was stupid,” he dropped his head in embarrassment, “I was driving through the cliffs and lost control.”

Somehow, his story was a relief to you: no gunfight, no break in, so cartel related battle, just a car accident. “Let me see,” you gently coaxed his hand from his side to inspect the wound underneath. It was a good sized gash, but it was superficial, so you quickly ruled out the possibility that something punctured an organ. There were several more cuts and bruises along his torso, with one more major one along his collarbone, and a bruise on his cheek and cut above his eyebrow. Overall, it was messy, but nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

“It looks worse than it is,” you sighed with relief, “This just may sting a bit while I clean and sew this up,” when your eyes met Javi’s again, the look on his face nearly took your breath away. But, you quickly regained your composure, “Do you have any drugs in your system right now?” you asked.

Javi only giggled as his head fell back onto the couch, “Ay, estrella…” he sounded like he wasn’t fully here, and it partly gave you the answer you needed. Still, you needed to know exactly what he took.

“Javi,” you made yourself sound as stern as you could.

He lifted his head and looked you in your eyes and you swore the world around you froze for a moment. After a pause, Javi exhaled and admitted quietly, “LSD.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed deeply, “You took LSD and then went driving in the cliffs?! How could you be so reckless?” Your voice trembled more than you wanted it to, but you bit the inside of your cheek to keep any tears at bay.

It must have been the worry in your eyes or the tone of your voice, but the grin on his face melted away into a more somber expression, “I am sorry, estrella,” he said sheepishly.

Not sure what to make of his demeanor, you just stared at Javi for several moments. It wasn’t until he hissed in pain that you remembered why you were here in the first place. You quickly grabbed some materials from your bag and got to work, “Ok, I’m going to use some numbing here so I can close this wound,” you told him as you used disinfectant on his skin and prepped the needle, “This will pinch a bit, but then you shouldn’t feel anything other than pressure.”

“I trust you,” Javi whispered your name as he stayed still and let you work.

You didn’t dare look him in the eye again, but you felt his intense gaze on you the entire time. The wound truly wasn’t as bad as it looked once you cleaned away all the blood, and no major blood vessels were damaged. While Javi remained silent and watched you during the whole process, you talked him through every step you made, just like you would any other patient. You still kept your eyes away from his face, but you hoped it brought him some comfort.

Once the big gash on his side was sealed, you turned your attention to the smaller marks and cuts. First, you inspected and bandaged the slash on his collarbone, and you tried your best to ignore the feeling of the soft skin of his chest or the steady beat of his heart under your fingers. Then you cleaned and disinfected the smaller cuts along his skin until only the bruise on his face remained.

That was when you had to look into Javi’s eyes again, and the look on his face nearly made your heart explode from your chest. He looked so sincere, and he looked like he wanted to say something to you, but held himself back. 

The truth was he wasn’t to tell you how sorry he was for that morning, and how much he missed you. He wanted to explain everything to you, and tell you that he only ever wanted to protect you.

But now was not the time.

“Ok, that’s it,” your voice broke Javi out of his own head, “The numbing will wear off in a few hours. Make sure you take something for the pain because you’ll be sore. And no more acid until you’re healed… And don’t drive while you’re high for fuck’s sake please Javi.”

Your words brought a soft smile to his face. With everything he wished he could tell you, he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he decided to try and make you smile instead, “So you think I’ll live?”

Javi got his wish and you cracked a slight smile at his joke. Not like you hadn’t heard that joke a thousand times before, but this felt different coming from him, “It was touch and go for a bit,” you joined his banter, “But I think you’ll be ok.”

He grasped his chest dramatically, “Oh thank you, thank you! I owe you my life.” If you only knew how much he actually meant those words, even if he was joking with you at that moment.

You rolled your eyes playfully and stood up, “Just take it easy, Javi. I’ll come back in a couple days to check on you.”

“I look forward to it, mi estrella.”

The tone in Javi’s voice awoke something within you, and you swallowed hard to contain the sudden rush of emotions and ran through you. With a nod, you turned and left. And for the second time in his life, Javi watched you walk away though everything in him screamed to tell you to stay.

Like clockwork, you came back three days later to change the bandages and check on Javi. He looked drastically improved from the day you saw him covered in blood, and that you were grateful for. The truth was you hardly slept all those days, too worried for Javi to sleep. And Javi practically counted the hours until he saw you again. It was easier for him to push you away when he didn’t see you, but now that you were in front of him again, he felt weak against his own feelings for you.

“You did a good job,” Javi praised you as you put away your materials.

“Thanks,” you replied, “Years of patching up drug dealers and arms traders really prepared me for this one,” you added, trying to stay light-hearted. But the heaviness hung in the air despite your best efforts.

Javi stared at you as you lingered and fiddled with your fingers. Both of you seemed like you had so much to say to the other, yet neither of you were sure how to start that conversation. So, you just stayed awkwardly in Javi’s large house as the clock ticked the seconds.

“Well, if you’re better, I guess I should g…”

“Do you want to take a drive out to the cliff with me?” Javi cut you off before you had a chance to leave him again.

You gave him a stern expression, yet it held no malice. After a pause, you finally answered, “You clean today, Javi?”

He let out a deep breath of relief as a smile flashed across his face, “I swear.” 

The cliffs were sincerely stunning. No wonder Javi liked to drive out here so much. It was beautiful and peaceful, with just the trees and bushes around for miles on one side and the coast on the other. It felt like you and Javi were the only two people in the world while you were out here, and all of your problems and troubles were far behind. Javi drove in a comfortable silence for some time until the sun started to drop in the sky.

He parked the truck along the cliff so you could settle in the back and watch the view. The way the sun glistened off the waters was breathtaking. The faint sounds of the waves crashing against the cliffs below only added to the serene atmosphere.

“It’s so beautiful,” you sighed as you gazed out along the water.

“It is,” Javi agreed, never taking his eyes off you.

The two of you were seated side by side in the back of his truck, your hands close enough to touch. Though you both felt the warmth of the other, neither of you dared to move and touch the other. Perhaps neither of you were sure what would happen if you gave in to that temptation. And you did not want to get yourself into a similar situation as the last time you were alone with Javi and gave into your feelings.

Both you and Javi opened your mouths and turned to the other at the same time. Your overlapping words drowned out the other as you both tried to talk at the same time. But, as you looked into Javi’s eyes, suddenly you felt a warmth and you couldn’t help but giggle, to which Javi quickly joined in.

“You go ahead,” he insisted as he sat back and waited for you to gather your thoughts once more.

“I just,” you let out a deep breath, “I can’t believe I’m here… With you.”

“I cannot believe it either,” he whispered.

You exhaled heavily, “It’s just… What happened, Javi? That morning?”

When you turned and met his eyes, Javi wasn’t prepared for the hurt he saw behind them. It felt like he got punched in the gut when you looked at him like that. “I…” he paused, “I couldn’t…”

 Before he could finish, you felt a sudden rush of emotions and you couldn’t help but burst out, “Do you have any idea how used I felt? You fucking broke my heart, Javi!”

“I’m sorry, estrella. But I did what I had to do,” he tried to fight the tears, but his eyes watered anyway. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do, yet he still hurt you anyway, and for that Javi could never forgive himself.

Tears of your own formed as you choked back a sob and raised your voice, “Have you even thought about me at all? Or was I just a distraction for you?”

“You were never just a distraction! I thought about you every single day!” Javi shouted back, “Not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. Your perfume stayed in my room for days… and every time I looked at the stars… I remembered how beautiful you looked in their light. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of you.”

“Then why did you push me away?” This time your voice was just a whisper, but Javi heard the pain behind your words.

That was it, Javi couldn’t keep the secret any longer. Between the emotions he felt and the way you looked at him, he knew you deserve the truth, “To protect you,” he paused when your eyes went wide, “When my cousin took over the cartel, he made me be the figurehead. And he told me it was the best way to protect you but… I knew you wouldn’t be safe if you were seen too much with me. And I could bear putting you in danger because of me.”

You were stunned into silence for several long moments as you processed what he told you before you spoke again in a soft tone, “Javi, you forget who my father is. I’ve been in danger since the day I was born. Let me make my own decisions on what I want to risk.” 

Javi was stunned. “And you would take that risk… for me?”

You leaned forward and cupped Javi’s face, “I would,” you whispered before you took his lips with your own. 

Javi moaned into your mouth as he grabbed onto your arms. His lips parted for you and the moment your tongue hit his, an explosion of emotions and memories flooded his veins. The taste of you may have left his tongue, but it never left his mind, or his heart.

But suddenly, Javi was brought back to the present when you moved yourself into his lap and straddled him. Your lips never left his as you shifted and settled yourself over him.

“W-wait…” Javi breathed. He couldn’t let you go, but the weight of his burden was heavy on his shoulders still. And though you made your own decision, Javi still worried for you. 

“What’s wrong Javi?” you asked, sacred that you might lose him again because of your boldness.

Javi’s fingers tapped random patterns on the skin of your arms, “Are you sure we should be doing this, estrella?”

The fear in Javi’s eyes made sense now, and you let out a deep sigh as you studied every tiny expression in his face. It took a moment for you to answer his question with one of your own, “Are you going to break my heart again?”

The question made his face drop and his eyes misted. Javi stared back at you as he processed the emotions you held in your face. “I only tried to protect you… But I promise you,” he whispered your name, “I will never hurt you ever again.”

You exhaled deeply as a soft smile flashed across your face, “Well figure this out,” you leaned in and hovered your lips over his once more, “We’ll find a way. That’s my promise.”

Javi said your name in a soft prayer as he cupped your face. His thumb brushed your cheek as happy tears welled in the corners of his eyes, “You are…”

Before he could finish his thought, you crashed your lips into his as you grabbed the collar of his shirt. Javi let out a muffled moan as he tightened his grip on your face. He was immediately lost in your touch, but not so lost to miss the tears of your own that fell down your face and splashed his hands. A sudden desperation came over both of you as you both tugged at the other’s shirts hastily until you were both topless.

But before Javi could reach for you, you already fiddled with the zipper of his pants. When your eyes met his, he saw the fire that burned there, and he remembered the last time you looked at him like this. Instead of fighting you, Javi just rested his hands on you once more and let you take the lead. A smirk flashed on your face when you understood the wordless gesture.

His pants were silky soft under your fingers, and the zipper came undone easily. You were too eager, too filled with need to get his pants off entirely, so you focused on just freeing his cock. A low whimper escaped your lips when you set your eyes on him again after all those years, and Javi’s cock twitched in your hand at the sound you made.

“Estrella…” Javi whispered as his hands roamed all over your skin wherever he could reach.

“Javi,” you echoed as you wrapped your hand around his length and slowly pumped him.

His eyes fluttered shut as he rocked his head back the moment you touched him. To have you again after all these years was surreal to Javi, yet he didn’t want to wake up if this was a dream. He thought of you every night, every time he jerked himself off he pictured you. Every night when he went to bed he remembered what it was like to have you there with him. Truly not a day went by that you didn’t cross his mind at least once.

But the reality was even better.

Javi moaned as you stroked him harder. Your hand was so soft and warm, and you squeezed him just in the right spots. As you sped up, Javi groaned louder and tightened his grip on your shoulders. He saw stars every time you reached the tip and rubbed your thumb across the sensitive skin there. And when you hit the base and gently tickled his balls, Javi inhaled sharpy and his eyes flew open.

He wanted you to keep going. He never wanted you to stop pleasuring him with your expert touch. He never wanted you to let him go. He wanted to surrender to you forever. But, Javi also wanted- needed- to be inside you again.

“Wait,” Javi panted.

Immediately, you stopped and rested your hand on his chest, “What’s wrong?” you asked in concern.

“Need you… Estrella…”

Even though the broken thoughts and heavy breaths, you knew exactly what Javi wanted… What he needed. And you wanted him inside you just as badly as he did. It had been far too long since the last time you saw him… had him. As much as you tried not to, you thought about Javi all the time. The way he made you feel was unlike anyone else before, and you were sure you wouldn’t feel like that towards anyone else but him. Javi was special, and he was the only person in the world who held your heart.

“Oh Javi,” you let go of his cock and dug your palms into his chest as you lunged forward and kissed him desperately.

Moans and groans from both of you reverberated between your bodies as you rocked your hips against his. You squeezed and massaged Javi’s chest while his hands dropped down to your ass and gripped it firmly. He smirked as he swallowed the moan you let out before he hastily worked on removing the rest of your clothing.

The kiss deepened as Javi stripped you without breaking away for even a second. He missed the taste of you, and he wanted to spend as long as he could tangled with you. And you didn’t want to break away either.

In what felt like a flash, you found yourself in Javi’s lap in nothing but your bra and panties. The rest of your skin was exposed to the world, and the crisp fresh air made your skin break out in soft goosebumps. But, the heat from Javi’s touch perfectly balanced the cool air from the sea, and everything just felt right. It felt like you were meant to be here, in this moment, with him.

And the sight of you in just your lingerie only made the beautiful scenery around you all the more radiant. The setting sun made you glow, and the way the light reflected in your eyes made you look like a goddess.

“Javi… Please…”

It was your turn to plead desperately as the two of you lost yourselves in the other’s eyes.

“I’ve got you, Estrella,” Javi guided your hips over his cock with a tender touch.

You let out a sigh as you pushed your panties to the side and lined yourself up with the tip of his length. Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream as you felt the thick yet familiar stretch of Javi’s cock against your pussy. Javi let out a whine as he watched you slowly sink onto him and he disappeared inside you. 

As your warmth immediately engulfed him, Javi let out a whispered, “Fuuuck,” and gripped you even tighter.

“Shit,” you murmured as you fully sat yourself on his lap and felt his length fill you up completely, “Fuck Javi I’ve missed this.”

Javi let out a labored chuckle, “Estrella I have missed you every fucking day.”

Fresh tears formed in your eyes before you could stop them as you looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity there. Everything about this moment was perfect, and the only negative either of you could think of was that it took so long to get here.

Not trusting your voice, you leaned forward and rested your forehead against his as you slowly lifted yourself up and then back down. Javi wrapped his arms around you and held you as you rode him in a slow and steady rhythm, both of you moaning and breathing heavily in the other’s air.

As the need grew, you moved faster. Your moans got louder as you impaled yourself on Javi’s cock over and over again. Javi grunted as your heat enveloped him over and over again. You were so wet and warm and comforting, and Javi was sure this time he wouldn’t let you go. 

Javi grunted as he ran his hands up your sides and cupped your breasts through your bra. His action made you moan loudly and you threw your head back. Your sounds echoed through the cliffs but you didn’t care. All you cared about was Javis’s hands on you and Javi’s cock inside you.

“Ay, Estrella,” Javi groaned before he leaned forward and bit down on your exposed neck, “You drive me crazy,” he licked and sucked wherever he could reach.

“Oh fuck… Javi…” you couldn’t form any further thought than his name.

“Your beauty compares to nothing,” he murmured against your skin, “I am the biggest fucking idiot for letting you go before,” Javi moved his hands to your back and nudged you forward so that your gazes met again, “I will not make that mistake again.”

“Javi,” you were breathless as you stilled yourself for a moment.

He smirked, “Now let’s make up for lost time.” 

This time Javi took the lead as he positioned himself below you. He bucked his hips up as he thrust into you from below, which made you scream in pleasure.

“Fuck!”

He held you close as you placed your forehead on his again. Javi’s sudden enthusiasm caught you off guard and all you could do was hold on to him while he pounded into you from below. 

It didn’t take long for a familiar warmth and tingle to spread from your core. And as your moans got louder and louder, Javi could tell you were close. And his own grunts and moans mirrored yours as he was close too.

“You going to cum, Estrella?” Javi strained his words as he didn’t let up his pace.

“Yes,” you whispered, “I’m so close, Javi.”

He groaned as you cleaned around him, “Me too,” he kept one hand around you while the other snuck between your bodies and played with your clit, “Cum with me, hermosa.”

The scream you let out went right to Javi’s cock and he couldn’t help but thrust harder and faster. He moaned your name as he felt his climax quickly approach, and the way you dug your nails into his shoulders told him you weren’t far behind. With just a few more thrusts, both of you came at the same time; moans and curses and whimpers flowed between you as you both rode out your orgasms together.

You trembled against him, and you felt his body do the same. Sweat lined both your bodies as the heat spread between you. It was hot and heavy and desperate and the way you rocked against each other spoke everything that words couldn’t.

When neither of you had anything more to give, you both collapsed down onto the flatbed of the truck in a sweaty panting mess. Heavy breaths were the only sound for several minutes as you laid on top of Javi, his cock still buried deep inside you. But it was a comfort for both of you; neither of you were ready to lose that connection just yet. 

But as the sun set, a chill ran up your spine and you knew you had to move.

“Hang on Estrella,” Javi slowly pushed himself up, “I’ve got you.”

You whimpered as you felt him pull out of you, but Javi never broke away from you completely. Even while he settled himself and reached for a blanket, he always kept at least one hand on you. Too tired to move too much, you let him care for you as he pulled you against his chest and wrapped his arms and the blanket around you.

For some time, you both just laid together like that in the truck as the sun set. Javi gently caressed you as you laid on his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It wasn’t what you expected would happen, but you wouldn’t complain at all. It was perfect anyway, and it was all because of Javi. No words were needed for a long while as you laid comfortably together.

“Do you think you’ll take over when your father retires?” Javi broke the silence with something that had been on his mind for some time.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “He never said anything either way to me, but it’s not like I can just leave completely. You and I both know that this isn’t a world you simply walk away from.”

“I know…” Javi paused as he just held you tight, “What would you do if you had the choice?”

“I’m not sure, I never really was given an option so I never thought about it,” you shifted so that you looked into Javi’s eyes, “What about you? What would you do if you could?”

“I’ve… I’ve always wanted to write a screenplay,” he admitted shyly.

A smile lit up your face, “You should.”

“You really think so?”

“I do,” you placed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose, “That eulogy you wrote for your father was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I think you would be amazing.”

Javi only exhaled with a bewildered smile on his face before he guided you back down to rest on his chest. A comfortable silence fell between you again, and you just stayed in Javi’s arms for some time as you both watched the sun set completely.

“Who is your favorite actor?” Javi changed the subject into something lighter. Perhaps he just wanted to feel like he was on a real date with you, no pressures of the underground world, no dangers, no worries. Just you and him.

“Hmmm,” you thought for a moment, “Oscar Isaac.”

Javi scoffed playfully, “Of course he is,” he teased as he gave your shoulders a squeeze.

“Don’t be jealous,” you retorted right back as you poked his stomach, “What about you? Who is your favorite actor?”

He didn’t answer right away, and just fell silent as he scrunched his eyebrows deep in thought. After some time, he broke the silence with a question you didn’t expect, “Estrella, can I show you something I have never shown anyone before?”

You lifted your head and looked at him with a puzzled expression, “Please don’t tell me you have a large drug stash… Or a pile of bodies or something.” You were only half joking since you had no idea what he was up to the past few years. And you wondered what his question had to do with his favorite actor, “You don’t have your favorite actor chained in your basement do you?”

“No, no,” Javi chucked, “Nothing like that,” he paused, “Come, let me just show you.”

“Ok…” you trusted Javi, but you still had no idea what to expect as you both got dressed and hopped into the front of the truck.

But whatever you were expecting definitely wasn’t this.

“Oh… Wow…” you were at a loss for words.

Javi seemed nervous beside you, “You don’t think it’s ridiculous?”

On the far end of Javi’s compound was a sealed room with a mirrored door and inside was the largest collection of Nicolas Cage merchandise you had ever seen in your life. Everything from movie posters to signed photos to movie props lined the walls. You knew he was a big fan of the actor, but you had no idea Javi was emmassing a collection like this.

But, you had no judgment whatsoever, “Not at all,” you turned around and faced him and kissed him softly, “You truly have it all, it’s impressive really.”

Javi rested his arm on your waist and pulled you close with a laugh, “I don’t have it all, estrella, not yet.”

The cheesy line made you burst into laughter as you placed your hand on his chest, “Javi…”

He joined your laughter and the two of you just stayed like that, enjoying the other’s company as you descended into a fit of giggles. Javi took the opportunity to kiss your cheek as he pulled you in closer.

A week later, a package arrived at Javi’s compound with a note on it. When he opened the letter, it was your handwriting:

“For the man who has everything.” 

Inside the box was a sequin pillow. It was red and shiny at first, but as Javi ran his hand across it, a face appeared. He couldn’t help the bright grin on his face as his curls fell into his eyes as the face of his favorite actor was revealed. A joyful tear rolled down his cheek as he held the pillow close and whispered…

“Te quiero, mi estrella.” 

[ultrone]

Can I please request a yellowjackets fic of platonic Jackie x younger sister reader (sort of like Travis and Javi’s relationship - maybe reader could be friends with Javi too), I don’t really have an idea for a plot though maybe some sort of tension and fight w Jackie but then everything is fixed by the end? And reader is like pretty different from Jackie - in typical sister style. That’s so unspecific I’m so sorry I suck at ideas I just crave big sister Jackie (I feel like she’d be a Nancy wheeler variant) okay ty bye ily

𝗢𝗟𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗝𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗢𝗥 ┊ 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗒 𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀

cw. just siblings fighting, javi & reader being friends

wc. 1.5k

n/a. tysm for ur request <33 at first i wanted to make her an overprotective sister (so that she was kinda like nancy) but i felt like making her bratty fit better with the storyline lmaooo, i hope it's what you were expecting tho :) if not lmk and maybe i can work on a protective sister blurb or something.

"Uno! Take that!" You exclaimed with enthusiasm, celebrating your third victory in the one-on-one game against Javi.

"This is so unfair," Javi said, rolling his eyes. "Let's play again. We're not leaving until I beat your ass." He spoke with determination.

You were grateful that you had packed your Uno deck in your backpack for the trip. Being stuck in a cabin with a bunch of teenagers and having nothing to do except stare at the rooftop for hours turned out to be more boring than you had anticipated.

Since the crash occurred, you and Javi had grown close. While you shared a few classes at school, you had never spoken to him before. But the shared misfortune of being on this trip as guests brought you together — Javi accompanying his dad, the team coach, and you accompanying your older sister, Jackie Taylor, the team captain. Not to mention that both Travis — Javi’s older brother — and Jackie were being assholes.

The initial weeks were challenging, to say the least. Jackie was being extremely annoying — she still is —, constantly bossing you around and disregarding your feelings. It seemed as though she was too absorbed in her own frustrations, always venting about the unfairness of the situation and the social events she was missing out on, like Rutger's rush week and all the frat parties. You knew Jackie didn't mean any harm, but it still bothered you. Additionally, the age gap with everyone being around three years older than you made you feel like an outcast and useless. Thankfully, you and Javi started getting along. You were assigned similar tasks, such as picking berries or fetching water from the lake, since both of you were younger and unable to handle more demanding activities. Thanks to this, you began spending a lot of time together and eventually became very close friends.

"What are you doing?" Javi asked incredulously, his eyebrows furrowing. "You can't play a +2 card after a +4 card," he pointed out.

You were aware that Javi was right, but decided to push back. "Yes, you can. It's literally stated in the instructions," you replied, attempting to gaslight him.

"No, it's not. You're lying," he insisted, firm in his belief.

"Fine, you got me," you admitted, flashing a playful smirk. "I'll take these four cards just so you don’t start crying," you teased.

“Ha, ha, so funny,” Javi responded with a smile.

Interrupting your playful banter, a voice called out from behind. "Hey, Y/n," Jackie said, grabbing your attention. "Have you seen my red lipstick?"

You let out a sigh as you glanced at your sister. Lately, she had been even more irritating than usual, probably because of the problems she was having with Shauna. Not that you were particularly invested in their drama. But the last thing you wanted was to engage in conversation with her, knowing all too well that it would probably lead to another argument.

"Yeah," you responded casually, briefly glancing away before returning to the game.

"Okay... So, where is it?" Jackie asked, her tone growing slightly impatient.

"I used it to write the S.O.S message on the plane," you replied nonchalantly, as if it were the most obvious thing.

"Wait... What?" Jackie exclaimed, her anger starting to rise. "Why the heck would you do that?”

Rolling your eyes, you replied sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sorry, Jackie. I forgot that packing a sharpie was at the top of our survival essentials checklist in the wilderness."

"You didn't even bother asking me!" she complained, her frustration evident.

"Well, maybe I didn't ask because you're such a self-centred bitch, always whining about missing out on your stupid parties," you retorted, your voice tinged with irritation. "It was the only thing I could find to leave a message for whoever might be searching for us. Stop being such an ass. I mean, you clearly wanna get out of here, dont you? Cooperate a little."

Jackie let out a loud huff, her lips pursed and a deep frown etched on her face as she stormed off, making her way towards the cabin. In her haste, she bumped her shoulder harshly into Van, who was heading to the lake. "Hey! Watch out!" Van exclaimed, her voice filled with surprise and annoyance. She followed Jackie's retreating figure with a confused and perplexed expression before turning back to you. You simply shrugged your shoulders, raised your eyebrows, and nonchalantly returned your focus to the game, leaving Van with a sense of bewilderment.

Javi gazed at you in stunned silence, but he didn't utter a word. After all, if someone could understand you it was him, as he had to deal with Travis. Without saying anything about the previous exchange, both of you chose to brush it off and swiftly changed the topic, resuming the game as if nothing had happened.

Three hours had passed since your argument with Jackie. After playing with Javi for about an hour, you decided to lend a hand to Tai with boiling the dirty pads. Once you finished the task, you stayed there for a while, gossiping with her and Van.

“I’m getting kinda cold, I’ll be right back,” you announced, rising from your spot on the ground and making your way towards the cabin to retrieve a hoodie. They nodded in acknowledgment as you left.

You entered the cabin and opened the shared closet, scanning its contents for your favorite hoodie. Once you found it, you slipped it on and turned around, ready to make your exit. However, Jackie stood there, blocking your path to the door.

You tried to walk past her, but Jackie swiftly reached out and grabbed your arm, preventing your escape.“Nope, you’re not leaving. You’re finally gonna tell me what the heck is going on,” she declared, her arms folded and her stance blocking the door knob.

You hesitated for a moment, contemplating your response. "What are you talking about? Nothing's going on," you insisted, trying to downplay the situation.

Jackie pursed her lips, clearly not convinced. "Okay... Liar," she responded, tilting her head slightly.

You made another attempt to leave, but Jackie swiftly blocked your path with her arm. "No! You've been distant and acting weird for weeks. Not to mention how mean you've been towards me," she argued, her frustration evident.

"Well, what did you expect?" you retorted, your voice laced with exasperation. "Huh? The only thing you've done since we got here is complain and do nothing except act like a child. I'm scared and I miss home too, and the fact that my older sister, the person I should be able to rely on the most, is behaving like a brat, doesn't help me at all, okay?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you spoke, the pain evident in your voice. "I just wish you were more like Tai or Van," you expressed, your voice filled with disappointment. "They take better care of me than you do.”

Jackie's expression softened as she listened to your words, her remorse evident on her face. She let out a deep sigh and her shoulders slumped. "I... I didn't realize," she admitted, her voice heavy with regret. "Shit, I'm so sorry, Y/n," she apologized, her words sincere. Without hesitation, she pulled you into a tight hug, holding you close. "I'm really sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with genuine remorse.

Overwhelmed with emotions, you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "I'm sorry too, for being a bitch," you confessed, your voice filled with regret. "I just wanted my sister back. I'm so scared, Jackie," you admitted.

Jackie gently pulled away from the hug and tenderly wiped away your tears with her fingers. "I'm scared too, but we'll get through this together, okay?" she reassured you, her voice filled with warmth and determination. "Everything will be okay, I promise," she added, a soft smile gracing her lips. A tear escaped from her own eye, reflecting her sincerity. You nodded in response, feeling a renewed sense of hope and comfort in her words.

You embraced Jackie once again, holding onto her tightly. "I love you, Jackie," you whispered, your voice filled with genuine affection. She reciprocated the sentiment, her voice soft and comforting. "I love you too," she replied, her hand gently caressing your hair.

"But, shit, I just lost 10 bucks," you exclaimed, separating from her with a disappointed expression.

Confused, Jackie asked, "What do you mean?" Her fingers continued to caress the sides of your arms.

"Javi and I made a bet about who had the crappiest older sibling," you explained with a mischievous smile. "You apologized before Travis did to him, so now I owe him 10 bucks."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you," Jackie responded, playfully pinching your side. "And don't ever compare me to Travis. I might be a brat, but he seriously needs professional help with his anger issues," she argued.

You burst into laughter. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," you replied with a grin, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her outside with you.

[lacyscabinet]

Drew this on my dad's window and he asked me if I became a satanist

[lheautontimoroumenos]

Shauna Shipman in S2E09 'Storytelling' of YELLOWJACKETS (2021-) / Agamemnon, Aeschylus

[narcosfandomdiscord]

narcos october masterlist ii

This masterlist is for days 11-25 of the @narcosfandomdiscord's october prompt event, which you can read about here and join in!

For days 1-10 of the event, check out masterlist i, and for days 26-31 of the event, check out masterlist iii.

(Note: character x character indicates a romantic/sexual relationship; character & character indicates a platonic one.)

October 11 — Day of Fun

Create a non-visual, non-fic fanwork: quiz, game, playlist, incorrect quotes.

↳ Narcos Incorrect Quotes by @proceduralpassion — many characters from OG & MX

October 12 — Day of Death

Kill a character who lives in canon.

↳ Behind The Curve by @drabbles-mc — Hugo Martinez Sr. & Hugo Martinez Jr, 1.4k

↳ It's You by @proceduralpassion — Rafa x Reader

.

.

October 13 — Day of Life

Create a fanwork in which a character avoids their canonical death.

↳ Adamant by @drabbles-mc — Enedina x Claudio, 2k

↳ Undefined by @artemiseamoon — Danilo x OFC, 1.1k

↳ I'm The Sky To You by @proceduralpassion — Carrillo x OFC, 1.1k

↳ Chasing ghosts and choices by @hausofmamadas — Enedina x Claudio, 1.7k

.

.

October 14 — Day of Support

Create a review, response, or analysis of a Narcos or Narcos Mexico fic, in the style of an Amazon review or a NYT book review or something like that. Please keep it constructive and positive, no roasts.

↳ In defense of Wonderbread White: Eureka!Character moments by @hausofmamadas — Steve-centric fanfic analysis

↳ she's got the range by @ashlingnarcos — analysis of the #narcoctober fics written by @drabbles-mc

Quote prompt: “I got you.”

↳ Debts Paid by @drabbles-mc — Navegante & Salcedo ficlet

.

.

October 15 — Day of Absolute Filth

Create a smut fanwork that includes three different kinks and/or sex acts (basically you could tag it with at least three tags that are Pure Filth).

↳ Control pt 2 by @artemiseamoon — Verdin x OFC 1.5k

↳ First on Speed Dial by @drabbles-mc — Steve x F!Reader 1.5k

↳ XTASY by @proceduralpassion — Rafa x Reader 1.4k

.

.

October 16 — Day of Surprises

These prompts were revealed at the start of the day.

Create a fanwork that focuses on dreams, either literal or metaphorical.

↳ not in this life by @narcolini — Güero x Reader ficlet

↳ Crumbled to Dust by @drabbles-mc — Carrillo x F!Reader (+OC Diego Ramirez), 1.2k

↳ TO THE SMASH N GRAB CREW by @hausofmamadas — Smash & Grab Crew, also Kenny x Cici, gifset and meta

↳ One Uniform by @proceduralpassion — Trujillo focused ficlet

↳ To live and leave fast by @hausofmamadas — Andrea x Carrillo angst and smut, 2.3k

.

.

October 17 — Day of Rare Treasures

Create a fanwork about a character that only shows up in one (1) season of the show. the rarer the better honestly

↳ Marta fanart by @tofuwildcard

↳ One day at a time by @artemiseamoon — NYC hairdresser from Narcos S3, trauma recovery, 1.2k

↳ Cómo Puedo Ayudar? by @drabbles-mc — Sal & Cece Garza, 1.7k

↳ Denouemont by @proceduralpassion — Dani x Walt ficlet

.

.

October 18 — Day of History

Create a fanwork about characters experiencing, participating in, or witnessing a real life historical event (could have been depicted in canon or not) e.g. moon landing.

↳ The Moon Landing by @garbinge — Javi & F!Reader, 1.3k

↳ Get To You by @proceduralpassion — Javi x OFC, 1.2k

Create a fanwork about two exes meeting unexpectedly.

↳ Ninety Days by @drabbles-mc — Walt x GN!Reader, 2.9k

.

.

October 19 — Day of Hurt

Create a fanwork about a character so emotionally or physically hurt that they can’t help but start crying even though they don’t want to.

↳ Could've Been It by @proceduralpassion — Javi x OFC ficlet

.

.

October 20 — Day of Comfort

Create a fanwork about a character getting exactly what they need from someone unexpected.

↳ Best Bet by @drabbles-mc — Carrillo & Connie, 1.3k

↳ Walls Closing In by @proceduralpassion — Amado x Reader ficlet

.

.

October 21 — Day of Women Who Will Step On You For Free

Create a f/f-centric fanwork.

↳ At Your Service by @drabbles-mc — Andrea x F!Reader, 1.3k

↳ Don't Question by @proceduralpassion — Maria Elvira x F!Reader ficlet

.

.

October 22 — Day of Cross-Fandom Pollination

Create a fanwork that includes at least one Narcos character and at least one character from another fandom.

↳ Flying In (1) by @drabbles-mc — Narcos OFC & multiple Narcos and Mayans MC characters, 2.8k

↳ Family Reunion by @drabbles-mc — Steve & Rick Flag (from Suicide Squad), 2.3k

↳ A Bad Habit by @artemiseamoon — Chepe x OFC, Lalo Salamanca x OFC, Better Call Saul crossover ficlet

↳ Borgias & Narcos Mexico crossover fanart by @tofuwildcard

↳ And You? by @garbinge — Jax Teller (Sons of Anarchy) & Steve ficlet

↳ The Job by @proceduralpassion — Billy Russo (The Punisher Netflix) & Miguel ficlet

The occupational hazards of living by @hausofmamadas — Rust Cohle (from True Detective) & Barrón, 4.5k

.

.

October 23 — Day of Threes

Create a fanwork that includes three items you can currently see.

↳ Sweet Dreams, Angel by @proceduralpassion — Steve x Connie ficlet

Create a fanwork including three canon characters. extra difficult version: three canon characters that have never met.

↳ Acquaintances at Best by @drabbles-mc — 3 characters are: Steve, Jorge Salcedo, Don Berna, also Steve & Javi, 2.7k

.

.

October 24 — Day of Monsters

Create a fanwork about a character turning into a supernatural creature.

↳ Wolf Pack by @artemiseamoon — Ramón & OC ficlet

↳ Amado as an angel fanart by @tofuwildcard

↳ Night of the Comet by @proceduralpassion — Walt x Reader ficlet

Quote prompt: “The world isn’t made up of heroes and monsters. Just broken people balancing between the two.”

↳ Hard to hate up close by @hausofmamadas — Andrea & OC, 3.2k

.

.

October 25 — Day of Wow, That Escalated Quickly

Create a fanwork that begins in a canon-compatible place, but ends up going somewhere more dramatic.

↳ Distant Echoes by @proceduralpassion — Carrillo x Juliana ficlet

[halsteadssneakylink]

character list

everything is x f!reader unless specified otherwise

if you want gn! or m!reader be sure mention it when you ask

the age of the characters determine the age of the reader (i won’t write anything with an illegal age gap)

the boys

frenchie

mothers milk

billy butcher

starlight (annie january)

kimiko

bridgerton

simon basset

anthony bridgerton

benedict bridgerton

kathani sharma

chicago fire

kelly severide

stella kidd

matt casey

sylvie brett

brian “otis” zvonecek

leslie shay

peter mills

chicago med

connor rhodes

will halstead

ethan choi

maggie lockwood

april sexton

chicago pd

jay halstead

erin lindsay

hailey upton

kevin atwater

adam ruzek

antonio dawson

eternals

thena

ikarus

ajak

kingo

gilgamesh

full house

jesse katsopolis

greys anatomy

meredith grey

christina yang

jackson avery

derek shepherd

addison montgomery

mark sloane

lexi grey

callie torres

hawaii five-0

steve mcgarrett

danny williams

chin ho kelly

kono kalakaua

adam noshimuri

kickin it

jack brewer

jerry martinez

kim crawford

mcu

steve rogers

tony stark

natasha romanoff

bruce banner

bucky barnes

sam wilson

wanda maximoff

stephen strange

t’challa

loki

yelena belova

carol danvers (pre & post powers)

mission impossible

ethan hunt

ilsa faust

benji dunn

august walker

narnia

peter pevensie

susan pevensie

edmund pevensie

caspian

outer banks

john b

jj

pope

sarah cameron

topper

rafe

the punisher

frank castle

billy russo

dinah madani

scandal

olivia pope

fitzgerald grant

abby whelan

harrison wright

shadow and bone

alina starkov

aleksander morozova (general kirigan/the darkling)

kaz brekker

nina zenik

jesper fahey

inej gafa

matthias

genya

star trek (aos)

james tiberius “jim” kirk

leonard “bones” mccoy

s’chn t’gai spock

nyota uhura

montgomery scott

hikaru sulu

supernatural

dean winchester

sam winchester

castiel

dad!bobby singer x child!reader

demon!dean

soulless!sam

svu

olivia benson

rafael barba

nick amaro

dominick “sonny” carisi

to all the boys

lara jean

john ambrose

peter kavinsky

margot

christine

trevor

top gun

pete “maverick” mitchell

nick “goose” bradshaw

tom “iceman” kazansky

charlotte blackwood

penny benjamin

bradley “rooster” bradshaw

jake “hangman” seresin

javy “coyote” machado

natasha “phoenix” trace

robert “bob” floyd

the witcher

geralt of rivia

yennefer of vengerberg

jaskier

rpf

ben barnes

chris evans

glen powell

jared padalecki

jensen ackles

karl urban

leo howard

noah centineo

oscar issac

scarlett johansson

sebastian stan

sophia bush