#jean kirschtein x oc

[mvrtaiswriting]

Boyfriend x Jean Kirstein. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :

turns out the only character that could snap me out of writer's block is horse face. idek why. whatever. i kinda like how this one turned out so.. enjoy :P

gender neutral reader. no pronouns used.

warnings: angst (it ends well-ish), a bit suggestive, mention of toxic behaviour (jealousy, cheating, idk eren is a lil bitch)

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee.

Taking another sip from the red cup in your hands, you watched everyone enjoying the party, dancing the night away. Everyone plus your boyfriend. Your gaze was locked on him and his new prey as they swayed on the dance floor, the red cup in your hand acting as a disguise. Was he doing it to make you jealous? You weren't quite sure, but at this point you weren't sure if you really wanted to know the answer to that - you didn't know if you would have cared, even. The way his hands grabbed her waist told you this wasn't just a play - Eren wasn't causing a scene, he was enjoying every bit of it. The way his fingers laced on the fabric of her tiny dress, the way his body moved in complete synchrony with hers feeding off every animalistic instinct; you knew this all too well. He had been like this with you too, getting to know every detail of each other's bodies.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you kept staring at them - hoping to feel a glimpse of disgust, a sparkle of jealousy. These emotions were once your go-to-meal, but you must have gotten used to the bitter taste in your mouth because now you felt nothing. Impassible while watching the love you've ached for walking away, trampling on the ruins of everything you had built holding his head up high.

"You might need a refill." Jean chuckled, noticing how you ended up chewing the edges of the cup in your hands. Taking the empty one out of your grip, Jean was quick to replace it with a fuller one. Jumping on the kitchen table, he stared at you for a second, tilting his head slightly as if it could help him decipher the look on your face. Following your gaze, he turned around to see what had your attention.

"Gosh. Still?"

Jean asked, raising his eyebrow. He had lost count of how many times he had to pick up the pieces of your broken heart after a fight with Eren, and he just couldn't believe you were still with him.

"This will be my excuse." you answer, pointing at the newly formed couple, who was now making out right before your eyes.

"My out-of-jail pass. At least he won't cause a scene."

Jean just nodded in response, keeping his eyes locked on you. There were so many things he wanted to say - he wanted to know what was so special about Eren, what made you stay even after being cheated on so many times. Jean wanted to know why you would always go back to the guy who almost hit you during a fight, who ridiculed you in front of everyone - why you would always choose Eren over him. But that night, as every other night, Jean kept silent. He wanted to be there for you, even if that meant being just a friend.

"Cool. Now that you've got your pass, we need to restart the game."

Wrapping his arm around your waist, Jean turned you away from the sight of your stupid boyfriend and walked you to the pool table, just across the dining room. The music that was busting in your ears minutes before now sounded like a muffled cry, covered by the loud laughters and chants of your classmates playing games and getting drunker than ever.

"Collect 2 drinks as you pass from the go!"

Jean winked, before handling you two shots. Finally breaking a smile since the start of the evening, you clinked one of your shot-glass against his.

"Cheers, Jean. Thank you."

A soft smile appeared on your face as you cheered with your best friend, before gulping the liquor down. No more tears would have delved your cheeks - not that night, not ever again. Not for Eren, not anymore.

-

"Connie, for the love of God!"

Your voice filled the room, echoed by the laughters of your friends, in a desperate attempt to understand what the boy in front of you was trying to mime. Trying to win that game was a lost cause. Everyone was now drenched in alcohol - after two beer pong matches and two bets lost, trying to be lucid enough to play mimes was too much to ask. There were no plausible guesses to make, and you were pretty sure it had been Connie's turn for a while now - he probably didn't even know what he was supposed to represent.

Jean had remained by your side all night; not that it was unusual, the two of you were inseparable. Before Eren came into play, you stumbled over the idea of Jean being more than just a friend, but it wasn't long until a pair of green eyes swooped you away.

Resting your head against Jean's shoulder, you reached for your phone. You weren't exactly expecting to find anything, so when you noticed a few missed calls from your boyfriend, you were surprised. Scrolling through your notifications, you noticed some texts from Eren - again, surprisingly. Usually, he didn't even bother telling you he was leaving without you - but this time, it was different.

"You read it. My head feels dizzy and I just don't want to know."

You mumble, passing your unlocked phone to Jean. He was fast to read through the chat, his long fingers quickly sliding down the screen of your phone.

"He blocked you. There's nothing worth reading."

Jean finally said, locking the screen of your phone. Slightly turning towards you, he pressed his lips against your forehead. Despite a certain apathy you had showed the last couple of times something happened between you and Eren, Jean expected this to hurt. Snuggling closer to Jean, you wrapped your arms around his, your face now hidden in the crook of his neck.

Was it pain? No, no. You didn't even read what he said. Realisation. Closure. Relief. That's what it was. Knowing that he had finally gathered the courage to let you go, even if in the most vile of ways, was freeing. The love between the two of you was long gone - it had been months since the last time he had touched you or even remotely cared for you. What kept you together was your desire to fix him, to change him into the better man you had envisioned but that he never was. And Eren made sure to always remind you how despicable he was, how hopeless his soul was - he did it every time he cheated, every time he raised his voice at you, every time he forgot you had a date and left you at home. You had loved him deeply, too much even - but that was never going to be enough. Especially because you only loved the idea of him.

"Can I stay at yours tonight?" you asked, your voice immediately snapping Jean back to reality.

"Don't even have to ask." he replied, holding you tighter into his embrace.

Of course you didn't have to ask. Half of your stuff was at his place anyway, even your toothbrush. Sometimes you stopped there because Jean's apartment was closer to your university's campus. Other times you would sleep at his place because you were hanging out with his roommates Connie and Sasha. Some other times, he would come and pick you up in the middle of the night because you and Eren had a fight and he kicked you out of his dorm. Then there were your cozy saturdays, when you and Jean would binge watch your favourite tv shows. Jean's place was the only home you knew.

-

The end of the night felt like a blur. You weren't sure how you've made it to bed, wearing your pyjama. Opening only one eye, you took a look around you. Some rays of light peeked through the window, the curtains blocking most of the light out - a few weak ray of light filtering through the fabric and lighting up the room. You immediately recognised Jean's room and of course, Jean's bed. Sleeping peacefully next to you, Jean's soft snores filled the room, catching your attention and bringing you back to reality. It was in that moment that you realised just how terrible your headache was, your veins hammering into your skull at every second. Letting out a groan, you adjusted yourself, trying to rearrange the pillow in a way that felt less like concrete and more like a nice, soft arrangement of feathers.

A strong arm gently laced around your waist, pulling you closer to the sleepy boy next to you. Leading your body closer to his, Jean pulled you into a tight embrace before you could realise it, your head now resting on his chest.

"C'mere."

A chuckle escaped your lips as you snuggled closer to Jean's chest, appreciating the warmth of his body. Using his free arm, Jean grabbed the blankets to cover both of you, now almost completely hidden by the duvet.

What happened after was a curious sequence of events, so strange yet so predictable, so complicated yet so simple, so natural yet so craved.

How could you know that carelessly tracing your fingers over his chest could light up such a spark? How could you know that your bodies fitted together perfectly, like the missing piece of a puzzle you waited so long to complete. How could you know that touching him meant feeling loved for the first time. You couldn't. But with your clothes on his bedroom floor and his hands around your waist, you swear you finally knew one thing - you were always looking for love in the wrong place. Nevertheless, it's a known fact that the best place to hide something precious is in plain sight.

[daemontargaryenwhore]

He couldn't afford to lose another kid knowing he's going to lose one just for the battle to end.

[jeankluv]

I won’t fake it || Jean Kirstein x reader

Words: 2.6K

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, modern au, actors au, reader is shy and a bit insecure, readers appearance is never described

Summary: You and Jean have known each other for a decade now, since both of you started working as teens in a serie called Attack on Titan. During the years you developed feelings for him, but never told him afraid of breaking your friendship and afraid of his reaction. Promoting the final season, your managers came with the idea of a PR but Jean refuses, despite knowing he has done it before in the past. You hated the idea of PR but did Jean really hate the idea of ​​going out with you, even if it was pretend?

Note: this came to me when an attack on titan actor au popped up on my feed. I don’t know if I should make another part or leave it like this.

Attack on titan materialist

The series, which you have been working on for the last 10 years, was coming to an end soon. Only a few episodes were left and you were promoting it with the rest of the cast, in New York and Los Angeles.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was beautiful, the makeup was beautiful, the outfit you were wearing was beautiful, everything looked perfect. It had to be. You were about to give an interview on live television, talking about the series finale, promoting it and everything had to be just perfect.

You sighed, you were nervous it didn’t matter what you did to calm yourself down. It's been over a decade since you joined the industry and you couldn’t stop from getting nervous. Your leg was moving up and down, making your heels hit the floor and filling the room with the noise of your shoes.

A knock on the door made you come back to your senses, you swallowed and told to came in. In the door Jean appeared, you smiled at him, your best friend since almost the very beginning of the series.

“Hey.” He approached you and left a kiss on your cheek. You hated it, not because you didn’t like it, because it made you feel so much and you knew nothing was going to happen. “How are you feeling?” He sat next to you. You grimaced, trying to make light of the matter, but you knew Jean knew you too well. “I will be right next to you, so don’t worry. We are together.” You smiled faintly, Jean was always so kind to you and your heart wouldn’t stop beating on your chest whenever he looked at you that way.

“Thank you Jean… I really appreciate having you with me.” You told him and he smiled.

A staff member came in, informing you that you were about to enter the studio for the interview. Jean stood and offered his hand for you to take it. You held it and walked side by side, feeling the comfort Jean was bringing you. You were behind a door and could hear the interviewer talking and the audience applauding. Your names were called and both Jean and you entered the plate smiling and greeting everyone who was there. You sat on the couch with Jean on your left and the interviewer to your right.

“Welcome both of you.” The interviewer smiled. “How are you both feeling? The finale is almost here, crazy isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s honestly crazy that after, what? 10 years right?” Jean joked in a flirtatious way. “But yeah it’s been a whole rollercoaster, but one none of us won’t forget.” He said looking at you.

“Eh… yeah, yeah it’s been a whole experience and… we are really thankful for the fans that have been supporting us for all those years.” You said, trying to hide your anxiety.

The interviewer nodded. “Now tell me about your characters. They are romantically involved and I think everyone can agree that your chemistry on screen is untouchable.” The public started cheering up.

You hoped no one was noticing that your whole face was heating up. If only they knew you had the biggest crush on Jean Kirstein, they would probably lose their minds and start editing every single moment where you both interacted or the moments where you were looking at him like a helpless romantic.

“I guess so, but with y/n it’s so easy. I couldn’t have been luckier to have such an amazing partner to work with.” He laughed.

“You’re just too kind, Jean.” You smiled.

“It’s the truth tho. You’re an amazing actress and friend. And I love filming with you and spending time with you.”

“Wow… Jean if you weren’t in a relationship I would think you are hinting on y/n on live television.” The interviewer joked.

And there it was, the reminder that Jean was just your friend, your costar, nothing else. You were happy when Jean told you he was seeing someone, happy when he told you they started dating, happy when you met her. You were happy, that’s what you always told yourself, that you were happy for him. But it wasn’t true, you weren’t happy, you were a coward because you had those feelings for years but you were never able to confess and then, then he was with someone else, that wasn’t you.

You were selfish, you wanted to be the one holding his hand, the reason for his loving eyes, the reason why his heart raced faster, you wanted to be all that and more.

You tried to keep yourself normal, not to react to that or to what Jean said.

“Well I’m not in a relationship anymore, it’s been over a month since I broke up with my now ex.” Jean explained, leaving you speechless. You didn’t know about this, he never mentioned it. It was true that you were unable to see and talk as much as you usually did due to your busy schedules.

“Then we can say you were hinting on y/n? How do you feel about that y/n?” The interviewer asked once again.

You were starting to get nervous and somehow embarrassed for the whole situation. You wanted to stand up and run from there, but if you did that everyone would be talking about you on social media and that was making you even more anxious.

“You know what Jimmy, I think we should go back to the main topic, talking about our series.” Jean cut him off. “But so everyone knows, we are not Connie or Eren, you won’t be able to get a single spoiler out from us.”

As always Jean was the most natural when it came to doing interviews or talking with other people. The interviewer let the topic to the side and started asking questions about the series, what it was for you to film this final part and how you were feeling about ending it. You played a little game to entertain the audience and finally you ended saying goodbye to everyone.

You and Jean walked down the hall together with your managers, while talking about something. You didn't look at Jean, you didn't want to, you were still embarrassed by what happened a few minutes ago.

“Jean, what you did out there…” He was referring to that flirt with you. “Was brilliant. Everyone is talking about it on social media.” He said showing the phone to Jean, you looked at it out of the corner of your eye and sure enough, the video of the moment was everywhere.

“Josh just leave it, okay?” Said Jean hanging the phone back to his manager.

“No Jean, this could be a perfect opportunity for both of you.” He said pointing at you both. “I was talking to Emma while you were still at the interview and maybe doing a PR isn’t that bad.” You closed your eyes and you leaned against the elevator wall.

“Emma…” You whispered.

“C’mon y/n this could be a wonderful opportunity, you will only have to act like you’re romantically involved, some photoshoots, some Instagram posts. It will be fantastic for your publicity.” She smiled holding you from the arms. You didn’t want it, you didn’t want to fake you had something with Jean because you knew your heart would end up broken in a million pieces.

“I won’t be doing PR with y/n.” Jean stayed not letting any of your managers talk.

“Why Jean? This could be a great opportunity for both of you. Your ship in the show is huge, having you go from friends to lovers would be…”

“No.” Jean said harshly.

“Jean, you have done this before, what's the difference?”

“None of us need this shit, we are already both settled actors.” Jean started to walk away from leaving the elevator.

His manager started to walk behind him, while you stayed there with Emma. You felt your heart shrink in your chest, was that bad idea for him to fake date you? You hated the idea but Jean… Jean looked disgusted with it.

You didn’t see Jean after that, he didn’t contact you either and you didn’t have the courage to do it. You looked at your schedule for tomorrow, you had a photoshoot in the morning and then you would be free for the rest of the day. You sat on your bed, tired of today's journey, you weren’t a big fan of promotion season, you were just too introverted for it and sometimes interviewers were too much for you, they seemed not to care about what you were telling them, they just wanted the gossip and leave. And you hated that, you loved acting from a young age, it let you be someone else, escape from reality but Hollywood was another thing, another world. A world that even after all these years was hard for you to adjust to.

You fell into bed, closing your eyes, you had to sleep tomorrow, you had to get up early and you didn't want to have Emma dragging you around New York with huge circles under your eyes.

＇・＊：．。．　．。．：＊・゜゚・＊

Before you could realize the premiere for the final part was that night in New York City, you were getting ready in your apartment, your whole makeup was stunning, and your dress was just breathtaking. You couldn’t believe you could look this good.

“We will be leaving in 5.” Emma said.

“In 5 minutes?” You opened your eyes.

“Yeah, the premiere is an hour and you have to take photos on the red carpet with everyone and do some small interviews.”

“Okay…”

“Hey!” She said making you look at her. “If you start to feel overwhelmed, tell me and I will take you out of there okay?”

“It’s okay Em, I think I can handle it. I will be alright.”

“That’s my baby, I can’t believe it’s been ten years since you got this role.”

“And you have been supporting me ever since then.”

“That’s true.”

“Thank you.” You hugged her.

“And by the way, I’m so sorry for what happened with Jean and the whole PR thing, when Josh suggested I thought it would a good idea, but I fail to consider how you were going to feel about it.”

“It’s alright Em.”

“Have you talked with him?”

“With Jean?” She nodded. “Not directly, we talked in the group chat, last thing I know is that he was in LA, for an audition or something, I’m not really sure.”

“You will see him tonight.”

“Yeah I know but it doesn’t matter Em, it was a silly conversation and all the flirting thing he did, it was for the show. Not real.”

Emma looked at you with a sad look. “Honey, I don’t think it was fake.”

“Em please, don’t do that, don’t give me hopes for something that will never happen.”

“Okay…” She looked at her phone. “Oh shit, we need to leave or you will be late, c’mon.”

In 10 minutes you were getting out of your car, meeting up with thousands of flashes and screams from fans. You smiled at them and started waving at everyone. You approached a group of fans to take selfies and sign posters.

“Oh y/n! You look absolutely stunning! I love you so much.” You blushed at the compliment.

“Thank you so much sweetheart.” You told them.

“Y/n! Please sign my poster.”

“Sure.”

“Y/n! You and Jean would look so good together.” You heard someone say.

“That’s right y/n!” You heard another one scream.

“Thank you guys, but we are not…”

You were cut by one of the team staff taking you away from them. You waved them goodbye with a sad smile, you sighed to yourself and prepared yourself to pose in front of the cameras. You heard paparazzi scream your name, telling you to look to one side, to another side. You started to feel anxious and feel your sweaty hands, the whole flashes were making you dizzy. You felt someone, holding you from the waist making you jump a little. Looking up, you saw a very familiar tall person next to you. Jean was there, smiling.

“Jean…” You whispered.

“Hello gorgeous, you look beautiful.” He whispered to you.

You smiled to the floor. Stupid Jean. He held your hand, making it so natural, so effortless and easy. He took you out of there, you still heard the screams and the sound of flashes behind both of you. Jean started saluting everyone around without letting your hand go. You were feeling nervous, probably Jean was noticing that you were sweating.

“Eh… Jean.” You told him, he turned to look at you.

“Mhm?” He tilted his head and you looked down to your hands. “Oh…” He said. “Y/n, I need to talk with you.” Jean spoke once again. He was looking at you. “Come with me please.” And walked off with you.

You looked at his big back, he kept walking until a small room far away from the people. He let your hand go and you held both of your hands together, looking down, nervous.

“Y/n can you look at me.” He whispered.

“What happened Jean?” You faintly smiled at him.

“Listen, I know, I know it must be confusing my actitud tonight, all this thing of holding hands and the “show” out there but…”

“You ended up agreeing to the PR thing?” You smiled.

“No I didn’t, I told Josh that I was not going to do PR with you.”

“Why? Is that a bad idea to do PR with me?”

“No… is just.”

“You have done PR before, I don’t understand why you wouldn't want to.”

Jean breathed. “Because I wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“Oh… I understand.” You bite your lip.

“I think you’re not understanding y/n.” He held your face. “I wouldn’t be able to fake anything with you because every single thing I would do, every single word, every single look, would be true.”

You swallowed looking at his eyes. True? It wouldn’t be fake?

“What…?”

“Y/n, I like you. I have liked you for a while now… I was a dick for not realizing my feelings before.”

“I… Jean.”

“Y/n, I know, I have known for a while and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you.” He hugged you and you closed your eyes and smelling his aroma.

“It’s okay Jean… but are you for real?” You broke the hug.

“Yes, every single thing I said it’s real. I don’t want to fake anything with you, I want this to be real.” He said once again looking at your eyes. “That’s why, I want to take you out on a date.”

“A date?”

“Mhm.” He smirked. “You know we could sneak out and I could take you out on a fast date.”

“Jean… this is our last premiere, we can’t.” He pouted, which made you smiled.

“You’re right babe. Our last time, I will miss working with you on screen…”

“Maybe we can work together again, don’t worry.” You smiled.

“Hopefully but only as your romantic interest.” He kissed your cheek. “Now let’s go before they start to be suspicious and I don’t want Eren to start bothering us with his nonsense.” He held your hands once again but you stopped him.

Jean turned around and looked at you. With all the courage in the world you held his face and kissed him. Jean at first was surprised but he instantly kissed you back, tangling his fingers in your hair and increasing the kiss. The kiss finished when you both heard the door being opened. You hide yourself behind Jean, feeling your face burning up.

“So you two are here?” Emma was standing there, you avoided her gaze. “Everyone was looking for you, so you better get your asses back there.”

Both of you nodded and started walking next to Emma, not letting each other's hands go. Emma nudged you and smiled at you, you looked down and got closer to Jean, he smiled at your shyness and placed a kiss on your hair.

[underthetree845]

How to Say "I love you"

Chapter Five: Without Words 

Chapter Index 

Armin/Reader 

Cws: AFAB reader, Reader is Eren’s twin sister, modern high school au, planning a confession

About 5.9k words 

Summary: Reader comes up with an idea on how to communicate their feelings to Armin. 

“You almost WHAT?!” Historia all but screamed, a wide smile growing on her face. 

 Sasha started to choke on her noodles, to which Mikasa began patting her on the back while she coughed. 

“Weren’t you listening, Historia?” Ymir sighed, crossing her arms, “She said she wasn’t sure.” 

“Y-yeah! Well I mean I know something happened, but I don’t know if it was just me or…” you rambled, slowly hugging your knees closer to your chest. 

“Well you may not be sure, but I am! One-hundred percent!” Historia beamed, leaning in closer towards you as her eyes sparkled with excitement. 

You groaned and hid your face in your knees as your cheeks burned, not entirely sure why you even agreed to this in the first place. 

The entire day after your evening out with Armin, your mind would not stop replaying those few moments when you were able to feel his breath on your lips. You had been so close, closer than you ever were hugging or holding hands or even falling asleep on each other, despite the fact that you hadn’t even been touching. 

Mikasa didn’t usually speak up unless absolutely necessary, and this time, she seemed to have found it necessary to confront you about your “strange” behavior after getting lost in the park with the boy. 

To your mother, father, and Armin’s grandfather, for Hannah and Franz’s sake, you and Armin decided to just say that the two of you happened to run into each other by the park, decided to go out for ice cream to the place Sasha recommended, taken a walk through the park afterward, and ended up getting lost till late. 

With Mikasa, there was almost no point in lying. You didn’t even need to tell her about your feelings for Armin in the first place, she just seemed to know. So, when she asked you for the truth about what happened that night, you made double sure that Eren didn’t follow, locked your bedroom door, climbed up to the roof, and whispered it into her ear. 

At first, Mikasa genuinely didn’t believe that you and Armin had almost kissed. You were distressed because you thought she meant that she didn’t think Armin felt the same way, but Mikasa quickly clarified that she just didn’t think either of you would make a move anytime soon. 

“Neither of us really ‘made a move,’ Mikasa,” you fiddled with the hemline of your shirt, failing to suppress your heart racing at the memory, “we were just talking about how much we both value our friendship, and we both started leaning in…” 

You brought your hands up and buried your face in them as Mikasa sighed. 

“And then I called,” Mikasa stated, her words sounding more like an apology than anything else. 

“Don’t worry Mikasa, you couldn’t have known,” you replied with a compassionate smile, removing your hands from your face. “I don’t even know what Armin thinks of what happened, if he even thought or felt anything at all.” 

“Y/n, if it really went as you described, it, I know he was feeling just the same as you were,” Mikasa’s tone was sure, she looked you in the eyes as she spoke. 

“There’s no way,” you half-laughed, “I just support him and he appreciates it. I’m thankful enough that we get to be friends, I don’t want him to think I don’t value that or have an ulterior motive or anything.” 

“Even though you do?” Mikasa noted sharply. 

“Well,” you shrunk away, a slight huff in your voice, “it’s more of an ulterior… hope?”

“You should confide in the rest of the girls,” Mikasa suggested, getting up to move back inside, “I know they’ll come to the same conclusion I did.” 

And that’s how you ended up here after school. It was pure coincidence that Historia suggested organizing a hangout at one of your houses on Monday, but it was Mikasa who didn’t hesitate to offer up your house so that you wouldn’t be able to weasel your way out. 

Now you were sitting on the carpeted floor of yours and Mikasa’s bedroom with three of your friends huddled in a circle, laughing and chatting over card games and snacks. At least that’s how it had been going, until someone (*cough cough* Ymir) felt the need to spice things up with a game of truth or dare, which eventually just devolved into going around the circle and sharing secrets. 

When your turn came, you considered what Mikasa said earlier. What’s the worst that could happen? you thought. “Famous last words,” as your father always said. 

“Y/n there’s no way you can have a meaningful conversation like that with someone and get so close without feeling anything! I know Armin must be thinking the same thing,” Historia seemed to light up, clasping her hands together enthusiastically. 

“Don’t say it like that!” you retorted in a tone harsher than you meant, shrinking back to lean against the side of your bed. 

“Why don’t you just talk to him about it?” Sasha suggested with her cheeks full of food. 

“Because!” you said dramatically, shoving a pretzel into your mouth and clapping your palms together, “Number one, I don’t even know if he likes me that way, and I don’t want to lose him like that. Number two, you really expect me to look into his eyes and say something like that to someone as wonderful as him without dying?!” 

You didn’t have to worry about keeping your voices down. Your mother and father were still off at work, and as soon as Eren realized you and Mikasa were having your friends over, he grabbed his video game controller and left to spend his afternoon at Armin’s house. 

“Number one,” Mikasa mimicked you, trying to sooth your emotions, “Armin cares about you too much to let something like that get in the way of your friendship.” Everyone nodded in agreement. “And number two, I hate to say it Y/n, but that’s the only way he’s ever going to know how you feel. He’s normally smart about things, but he’s stupid about this. You’re going to have to tell him.” 

You sighed and gave a reluctant nod. Although you knew it deep down, you were too scared to face it until Mikasa said it to your face. She never spoke up unless absolutely necessary, and hadn’t managed to give you bad advice yet. 

“Finding the right time and place can be tricky…” Historia hummed, “for example, that hilltop where the two of you were stargazing would have been perfect.” 

“Well yeah, but then Mikasa’s calls started coming through and poof,” Sasha released her hands from fists, “no more atmosphere.” Mikasa looked down guiltily, and you came to her defense. 

“Sasha! It was bound to happen eventually, Armin and I had been lost for almost an hour,” you stated. True, it was unfortunate that you hadn’t been given a few more minutes, but you were thankful enough to have gotten home safely. 

“And you didn’t even kiss once,” Sasha moped, and your cheeks flared up again. 

“See, that’s a good example of right place wrong time,” Ymir pointed out, cocking her head to the side. Historia closed her eyes and nodded contemplatively. 

Silence followed as everyone continued to brainstorm, but your train of thought was cut short when your phone vibrated on your nightstand. You turned to your right to grab it and felt your heart jump when you saw who it was from. 

“Hey Y/n! History fact: Having been a Jew (although not a citizen of Israel), Albert Einstein was offered a position as the President of Israel in 1952. He turned it down because he knew he lacked the experience and people skills necessary, but isn’t that insane??,” the message read. 

History fact, you realized, right. It’s Tuesday. 

A smile stretched across your lips as you replied, and your giggle caught the attention of the rest of the girls sitting with you. 

“Who is that?” Historia questioned with a knowing grin. 

“It’s the blondie, obviously,” Ymir smirked, and Historia gave her a sideways glance. 

“You know it’s bad when you’re smiling at his texts,” Sasha mused, leaning in closer only for you to push her away with a flustered pout. 

“But look how easily you can talk to him!” Historia encouraged with a bright smile, “The two of you just ooze chemistry!” 

You found that you liked the idea of you and Armin having “chemistry,” and other people being able to see it. Being with him felt like the most natural thing in the world. Armin was the only person who could almost effortlessly sooth your emotions and anxieties, but at the same time, make you melt from the inside out and want to scream into your pillow. 

“But that’s only because we’re not face-to-face,” you sighed, clicking your phone off and placing it on the carpet next to you, “You’re right, talking to him is easy, but if I had to actually choke out a confession in front of him, I would just die.” 

“For the last time, Y/n,” Mikasa’s voice was like a cool mist of air, “you’re not going to die.” You turned your head to face her. “But you are going to have to tell him.” 

Everyone’s silence told you that they felt the same, but Mikasa’s words sparked an idea in the back of your mind. 

“What if… what if I didn’t have to tell him?” you asked thoughtfully. 

“Oh great, she’s backing out entirely,” Ymir leaned back and took a swig of her soda. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you explained, sitting up straight with a hand on either knee, “What if I just didn’t say it?” 

“You’re just going to kiss him?” Mikasa was bewildered. 

“No, no!” your cheeks flushed red at the very thought, “No no no no no! I meant more along the lines of writing him a letter and giving it to him somehow!” 

“Oh! That’s such a cliché idea!” Historia clapped her hands together, “I mean that in a good way!” 

“So you think a letter would be well-suited enough for the situation?” your eyes searched for confirmation. 

“Y/n,” Ymir started, “you could show up to his house in the middle of the night wearing a potato sack, tell him you love him, and he would still marry you.” She set her soda can down with a clink. “Not that I would recommend such a method, I’m just saying that I think a letter would work out fine.” 

“Ymir, that was completely unnecessary,” Historia lightly scolded, giving a concerned glance to your frozen form. “Although I do agree.” 

“But what’s wrong with potato sacks?” Sasha huffed, earning a chuckle from the rest of the room, effectively lightening the mood. 

As the laughter died down and someone suggested a movie, the weight of your decision finally hit you. How would you even begin writing a letter expressing everything you felt about Armin? Would he like it? Would he think it was too cringey or sappy? If he did accept, what would that mean for your relationship? What if he just accepted out of pity or obligation? Would he still want to be friends with you after reading it? 

As much as the potential answers to these questions terrified you, you were going to have to take a leap of faith to have them answered. After all, confessing isn’t about whether you “succeed” or not, it’s a test of bravery. 

-

You found it genuinely challenging to summarize all the reasons you had grown to love Armin throughout your life on a single sheet of paper. You would’ve used more, but you didn’t want to creep him out by handing him an entire essay that you put more effort into than most of your school assignments. 

You had yet to decide whether to leave the letter somewhere he would find it, hand it to him directly and run walk away, or hand it to him and wait there to watch his immediate reaction. Leaving it somewhere would increase the risk of someone else finding it by mistake, if you ran away after giving him the letter he would have to awkwardly reach out to you some other time to talk about it, plus he might just follow you, and you weren’t sure you could handle the embarrassment of standing there as he read the paper you had poured your heart out onto. That would be almost as bad as actually confessing. 

Instead of typing up a list and narrowing it down from there, you decided to highlight the things you noticed about Armin over the next couple days. 

The point wasn’t necessarily to swoon Armin by writing up a bunch of praise and expecting him to accept just because of that, but you wanted to let him know how much you appreciate him in at least one paragraph of the letter. That's how it goes, right?  

-

It wasn’t that you and Armin weren’t ever affectionate or compassionate towards each other, you have been friends for the past nine years. You often shared school lunches, volunteered to help each other out with homework before anyone else, noticed miniscule details about each other and complimented them, stuff like that. There were actually a few students and teachers at school who had to be clarified on the fact that the two of you weren’t a couple already. 

However, in the days following the night you two spent under the stars, the intimacy had increased tenfold. It was life you were Armin’s lifesource; every second you spent apart, he spent wishing he could see you again, and every minute you were together, he was practically clinging onto you, never more than two feet away. 

Now, instead of shyly looking away when you caught him staring, he would hold your gaze, a warm smile making its way onto his lips as redness creeped into his cheeks. 

The last three days since Saturday had been some of the best of his life. He felt like his heart hadn’t stopped racing since that night. 

The difference was noticeable. The two of you shared a lot more secret glances and bashful smiles when you thought no one was looking. It was difficult for others to get your attention when you were zoned out in a conversation or even just staring at each other. 

Neither you nor Armin were entirely sure what this new sense of comfort and budding affection would lead to, but you knew you wanted it to continue. It was probably a subconscious effort to recreate the atmosphere from the park. 

The two of you were lovesick, plain and simple. 

-

“Here Y/n,” Armin grinned sweetly, returning to your lunch table from the vending machine, “I got you a soda too.” You couldn’t help the blush that filled your cheeks at his thoughtful gesture. 

“Thank you, Armin,” you smiled in return, taking the can from his hand and almost jumping at the way your fingers brushed. You didn’t miss that he’d gotten you your favorite soda as you both popped your cans open and took a sip. 

Eren and Mikasa watched the two of you from across the desk table the four of you had formed. 

“No soda for me?” Eren questioned snarkily, to which Mikasa elbowed him. “OW! I mean- us?” Eren tried to correct himself and Mikasa internally facepalmed. 

“Sorry guys,” Armin bashfully apologized, “I really would have, but I only had enough for two, and I owed Y/n for a drink anyway.” His blue eyes locked with yours for a moment and you only looked away to sigh in blissful memory of the indirect kiss you two shared. 

You’re thoughtful. 

-

“I-I don’t have any more! Really!” the boy insisted shakily. The bully leaned even closer, slamming his hand on the boy’s desk, clattering his materials around and causing a few pencils to roll onto the floor. 

“You expect me to buy that bullshit?” the bully scoffed, his hot breath puffing on the boy’s face. “If you can’t pay me right now, I’ll expect double tomorrow, or else it’s over for you.” 

“W-wha-” the boy’s eyes shone with fear. 

“Excuse me, Emil?” Armin tapped the bully on the shoulder, only just managing to hold back his shudder when the older boy turned to face him in a fury. 

“Hell you want, Arlert?” Emil spat, his fist releasing the smaller boy’s shirt as his attention was diverted. 

“I saw you sneak in to avoid the Dean this morning so you could avoid uniform checks,” Armin stated, his smooth tone in black-and-white contrast to Emil’s uncontrolled flurry of rage. 

“Was that supposed to be a threat, runt?” he huffed, taking a looming step towards Armin, who was accustomed to his behavior enough to not cower away. 

Every fiber of your being was screaming at you to intervene and place yourself between Armin and the bully. You wanted to let your protective instincts take over, but much to your current dismay, you’d promised Armin otherwise. 

It wasn’t even five minutes ago when you and Armin stepped through the doorway of your classroom to lay your eyes on Emil trying to squeeze money out of yet another victim. 

You were inclined to flip Emil onto his back, twist his arm, or even go get Eren and Mikasa to help deal with the situation. Armin had to physically latch onto your arm and drag you into the hallway to keep you from immediately intervening. He needed to explain that it would be too risky to pull a move like that for two major reasons. If you strode up to the situation on the offensive, regardless of whether it was in defense of the smaller boy or not, Emil hadn’t hit first, so you would be the one punished for picking a fight, which was the last thing Armin wanted. In addition, it was happening inside of a classroom, not out on the courtyard, so the chance that you would get caught beating Emil down was far too high for Armin’s liking. 

As much as you wanted to take a more direct approach, you knew you could trust Armin when he said he had a plan. 

The idea was that he would go up and “deal” with the situation, whatever that meant, while you secretly recorded from the sidelines. 

“But only if you promise I’m allowed to jump in if he tries to hurt you or anyone else,” you insisted. 

“Alright Y/n,” Armin sighed compliantly, a butterfly feeling filling his chest at how protective you were being. Standing up for others was in your nature; he knew it from the day you first reached out your hand, and he was reminded of it each and every time you faced a situation like this. You didn’t get worked up over many things, but one thing Armin could always be sure about was that you would never let anyone get left behind. 

“It’s a threat if you perceive it to be,” Armin shrugged, giving a reassuring glance to the withering boy behind Emil before continuing. “I’m only here to tell you that I don’t think you should be here right now. Your uniform shirt is open, you’re wearing a bright t-shirt under it, you don’t have your tie,” Armin added a pause for emphasis, “and the Dean is going down the hallway right now doing a once-over of all the classrooms.” 

Emil’s breath caught and he shifted his gaze to peer out the window of your classroom warily. 

“The Dean is in the classroom two doors down right now,” Armin stated, upping the pressure of the situation. 

“Tch, why should I believe anything you say, Arlert?” the bully scoffed, pointing an accusatory finger and jabbing it into Armin’s chest. 

“You don’t have to, I won’t be the one getting in trouble if you get caught,” Armin stated, glancing towards the door before meeting Emil’s eyes. 

“You cocky little- well why would you even tell me this, huh?” the taller boy spat, trying to keep his footing in the situation, “It’s not like we’re friends.” 

“You said you’d pick on me less if I helped you out once in a while, right?” Armin almost failed to hold back his grin. He’d won, you both knew it. 

You had to try your hardest to keep from snickering; you had never seen Emil look quite so trapped. 

“It just won’t look too good if you’re caught out of uniform threatening another student for his pocket money,” Armin piled on, “This isn’t even your classroom.” 

At that, Emil’s thread of will snapped, and he gave one last spiteful glare to the small boy behind him before gritting his teeth and peeking his head out into the hallway, slipping out while muttering curses under his breath. 

The tension in the classroom eased and the surrounding students, including you, let out a breath of relief and turned back to whatever they had been previously working on. 

You stopped recording and immediately stood up to make your way over to Armin. 

“He didn’t hurt you, right?” you asked tenderly, scanning his face for any signs of injury, “You’re okay, right? Say you’re okay.” Even though you had been recording and sneaking glances from time to time, you couldn’t help but worry that Emil had grabbed Armin by the collar or leaned in a little too close when you weren’t looking. Asking these questions after a run-in with a member of the trio was almost customary. 

“I’m okay, Y/n,” Armin reassured you, a gentle smile forming on his lips, “thank you for recording. That’ll be useful if we ever need it.” You nodded and tucked your phone away, turning to check up on the boy Emil had been threatening. 

He still sat in the same position, arms folded over his chest defensively, hunched into himself, only his expression of terror had been replaced with one of admiration, and his gaze was locked on Armin. 

“Hey, did he hurt you anywhere?” Armin asked gently, turning his gaze to focus on the boy in front of him, “That wasn’t the first time, right?” 

“Y-you- thank you so much!” the boy sputtered, standing up and bowing deeply, “I don’t know how I can ever repay you.” Yours and Armin’s eyes widened and you shared a glance before responding. 

“Hey, we just wanted to make sure you were okay,” you place a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “and you don’t have to bow. I’m Y/n, and this is Armin. What’s your name?” 

“It’s, it’s Hayate,” the boy sucked in a breath, finally standing up straight, “nice to meet you.” You nodded kindly while Armin perked up. 

“Hey, 'Hayate,' like the character from that street fighter game?” Armin grinned. Fanboy mode, taking over, you thought with a loving roll of your eyes. 

“You know it?!” Hayate’s voice went up an octave and his eyes seemed to glimmer in excitement. 

“Well, my best friend likes it, so I like to play it with him sometimes,” Armin replied, scratching the back of his neck. You smiled in confirmation. It’s true… you thought, sometimes I think mom wishes Eren were less glued to the screen while playing.  

“W-wow! I didn’t think anyone cool would know the game,” Hayate stared in amazement and Armin did a double take. 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly consider myself to be ‘cool,’” Armin chuckled dismissively. 

“You have to be kidding,” Hayate started, “you’re always so bright when you answer questions in class, your friends seem really cool too (you smiled at that part) and the way you talk back to Theo, Elliot, and Emil is insane!” 

“He has a point, Armin,” you nudged the blonde with your arm, shooting him a genuine glance, “you’re pretty cool on some levels.” 

Armin felt his cheeks begin to flush from all the praise, and he instinctively took a half step back, waving his hands in front of his body. 

“That’s not really true…” he trailed off and you internally sighed. When would he finally understand? “Anyone would have done what I did given the situation.” 

Anyone? Give me a break, you thought, Look around the room, look at all these people who just sat and watched it happen. You have all the more reason to be afraid of a member of the trio than they do, yet… 

Armin had managed to change the topic of the conversation back to videogames by this point. 

…you’re the one who stepped up. Overcoming your fear makes the act even braver, and you do it because you don’t want others to suffer the same way you have pretty much your entire life.

Your thoughts zeroed in as you watched Armin continue to chat with Hayate. 

You are so much braver than you realize. 

-

“Aaand, that should do it, Louis,” Armin said with a satisfactory grin and one last click on the mouse before standing up from the dark wooden chair and making room for the old man to take a look. 

“Hm, it seems to be working fine now!” Louis adjusted his eyeglasses as he peered at his computer screen. 

“It was just a small syntax error on the navigation level,” Armin nodded, “I have to say, your niece is quite thorough with creating websites. Is she a web developer, by any chance?” 

“Studying to be, I believe,” Louis’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. 

“The bookstore’s website is functioning normally on my phone now too,” you piped up, “nice job, Armin.” You gave the boy a sweet smile which he bashfully returned. 

“Yes, Armin, thank you very much. I don’t mean to trouble you, but I do appreciate how you always help with my internet issues,” Louis adds, “You’re quite good at it too. Are you perhaps considering a career in web development like my niece?” 

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all!” Armin confirmed with a polite smile, “I don’t really think I want a career in it, but I guess I am decently well-versed in the field from helping my grandfather out and well… just accumulating information overtime.” 

He really does have a wide variety of interests. 

“Still, I’d hate to take your work for granted. Would you accept a cash reward?” Louis offered, and you turned to look at the boy standing beside you. 

Armin’s eyebrows shot up and his expression formed into one of gratitude, but still… 

“No, I couldn’t possibly,” he declined. “I’m happy to help you, Louis, and I love this bookstore. The task is rewarding enough on its own.” 

You sighed gingerly and couldn’t help but smile a little. Armin certainly did deserve a reward for all the help he always offered Louis, from computer troubles to reorganizing the shelves after a busy week. He always did it with a smile on his face. 

“Are you sure there’s no way I could convince you?” Louis sighed, taking a seat down in his chair. 

“I’m sure, Louis,” Armin clasped his hands behind his back neatly. 

“You could use it to buy a gift or go out somewhere with someone,” the old man suggested with an innocent grin. 

Armin’s heart stuttered at the thought but his main concern was about the fact that you were standing right next to him, and Louis’s suggestion was everything but subtle. 

You didn’t have much time to register the bookstore owner’s suggestion before Armin spoke up. 

“I have enough to do that on my own,” he dismissed the idea smoothly, “thank you again for the offer.” Armin wore the guise of a calm smile on his lips, despite his brief internal panic. 

“Alright, lad,” Louis folded his hands in his lap, “Thank you for the help today, enjoy the rest of your time in the bookstore this afternoon.” 

As you and Armin began to roam the classics section, you found yourself staring at his profile with a soft smile as his eyes scanned over the titles and he traced them gently with his fingers. 

You’re smart, but you don’t take it for granted. 

-

Your phone buzzed with the name of the only person who’s messages you’d set to allow past Do Not Disturb time. 

“Hello Y/n,” you smiled as you read his message, “Sorry to message you this late, I just couldn’t wait till tomorrow.” You kept scrolling and found that there was a picture attached to the bottom of the message. 

“Apollo fell asleep on the jacket you left over here last week!” and sure enough, the picture showed the little gray kitten curled up in the fabric of the jacket on a chair, and Armin in the corner, holding the phone out to take a selfie. 

Your heart warmed and you took a screenshot to save the picture to your camera roll. One, because you didn’t have any pictures of Apollo yet, and two, Armin grinning so adorably in his nightclothes was too precious to pass up. 

“He misses you,” Armin messaged, and you thought for a moment before typing up a reply. 

“I miss him too, give him a hug for me <3,” the boy held his phone to his chest at that last message, smiling from ear-to-ear as he curled up on his bed. 

You sighed and melted into your desk with a stupid grin and Mikasa turned over to face you. 

“Are you going to bed soon?” she asked, eyeing your phone as you put it down. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’ll be done soon,” you nodded, adjusting your lamp light and focusing back on the paper in front of you. 

I love your smile. You always know how to make my day better. 

Mikasa fell asleep to the sound of your pencil scratching against your paper that night. 

-

“Are you sure you want me to proofread something like this?” Mikasa pushed the folded piece of paper you were shoving at her away from her body, and you nervously glanced to the side before looking back at her. 

“Please, Mikasa! We don’t have much time until Armin comes back from the bathroom,” you hissed in a whisper. “I’d rather not have him start wondering what this is. I left blank the spots where I’m going to add his name just in case so it won’t be worst-case scenario, but still.” 

“But why give it to me now, in school?” your best friend questioned, crossing her arms and refusing to budge. 

“I would have given it to you this morning, if you didn’t wake up so freakishly early. I swear, you’re already waiting by the door by the time Eren and I come down for breakfast,” you retort with a sigh, “And my mom was there, she’s more likely to get pushy with what it’s about than Armin.” 

“Y/n, this just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d be good at,” Mikasa resisted. 

“But you’re the only person I trust enough to show this to who I won’t have to worry about trying to tease me or actually suggesting I rewrite the whole thing,” you pouted, “please, Mikasa?” In truth, you were looking for reassurance more than anything. The whole idea of what you had written made your hands clammy, you wanted to run it by at least one person first. 

“What about waiting till we get home?” Mikasa suggested and you let out a sigh. 

“Because! Armin is coming over and we’re all going to make adoption posters for Apollo, remember?” you insisted. “I already have the letter right now and the only time you’ll be able to read it is when Armin and I are picking up Apollo from his house because I know you won’t want to do it when it’s late. Please, Mikasa.” There was a beat of silence between you two before Mikasa finally cracked. 

“...Okay, I’ll take it,” she gave a defeated sigh and you grinned widely before tucking the letter under a notebook on her desk. 

“Ah, thank you! I couldn’t ask for a better best friend,” you beamed, throwing your arm around Mikasa, who reciprocated your half-hug with an understanding curve of her lips. 

-

“Y/n, you’ve been tired and listless all day, are you sure you’re okay?” Armin asked as you slung your backpack over your shoulder and he gathered up his materials. 

“I promise Armin, I’m fine. I just stayed up a little late last night watching a show,” you smiled gratefully, but Armin couldn’t ease his worry. Did you wake up to read his message, then struggle to fall back asleep? Were you restless because of anxiety? If you really were tired just because of a show, how often did you stay up so late? Would it affect your day-to-day operation? He had caught you dozing off a few times in class, and always made sure to divert the teacher’s attention so they wouldn’t notice or even nudge you gently if need be. 

Armin mentally cursed when he realized his thoughts had led him to forget about packing his materials. He now awkwardly scrambled to organize his papers as you stood there and waited with a patient smile. I’m holding her up, and she didn’t say a word… Armin thought. 

“Y/n, I’ll meet you by the shoe lockers so we can go get Apollo in a minute, you can get going,” he told you with a gentle smile. 

“Promise you’ll be right there?” you pressed playfully. A sweet chuckle fell from his lips as he nodded. With that, you turned on your heel and headed towards the classroom door, disappearing with a wave. 

After a few minutes, Armin rushed out the door, paying no mind to Eren and Mikasa’s murmurs behind him. 

“Eren, did you drop off your packet at the science lab yet?” Mikasa questioned, and Eren shot up in his seat. 

“Shit, no, I didn’t,” his eyes widened, “I don’t think I have the assignment rubric though.” 

“There’s a copy in my binder,” Mikasa gestured with a nod, and Eren sputtered out thank yous before moving to shuffle through her papers. She definitely knew he’d forget it. 

By the time Mikasa finished getting what she needed from her locker, Eren was already standing behind her with both their backpacks, a marked-up rubric, and the homework packet he had been given an extension on two days ago. 

“Come with me to drop it off?” Eren asked, and Mikasa couldn't refuse. 

It’s not that your brother was stupid or anything, in fact quite the contrary; he had always been a decent student. Eren wasn’t at the bottom of the class by any means, and didn’t have any real trouble when exam season rolled around, he was just very good at landing himself extra work and allowing his tenacity to distract him from remembering due dates. Your brother mostly relied on Armin for that sort of thing, but the blonde had been wrapped up for the past few days. 

No, you didn’t consider your brother stupid on any level, but if you knew what happened next, you probably would have socked him in the face for being so careless. 

If only he’d noticed the paper that fluttered to the ground as he packed up Mikasa’s things. Why did it have to be that specific paper? 

If only he and Mikasa hadn’t left in such a haste to drop off the packet he was late to turn in. Why did the paper have to be left on the ground? 

If only someone else hadn’t seen it and decided to pick it up. Why did it have to be Jean’s eye that it caught? 

Chapter Six: Things Better Left Unsaid

[kindredspiriit]

epiphany excerpt / jean kirstein

From chapter seven of my Jean Kirstein fic, epiphany

Set during the first Marley visit, right before they all get wasted lol

I’m late. We were supposed to meet at seven and I’m late. This maze of a fucking house is the cause of it. If there weren’t so many hallways I would’ve never gotten lost. 

Eventually, we met up with Kiyomi Azumabito. We were currently at her residence, and we were having a meeting to discuss some sort of game plan. You know, to try and get Marleyans to hate us a little less. But unfortunately I had lost track of time, and only left my room the moment I was supposed to be with everyone else. Through my panic, I completely forgot about the whole tour Kiyomi gave us, so I made about four wrong turns.

After quite literally having to follow the sound of Sasha and Connie’s loud ass voices, I made it to where I was supposed to be. As I stumbled down the stairs, I noticed Eren sitting at the bottom.

“Shit, how mad is Levi?” I asked, knowing I would never hear the end of this.

“I don’t know. But Jean is keeping Kiyomi occupied, so you don’t have to worry about her.” Eren replied coolly. Once I reached him he stood up, and reached out to grab my hair. I had done it up in two low pigtail braids when we got here. I’m not really sure why, but something about being in a different country made me want to try something new. Holding onto my left braid, he chuckled, and twirled the stray pieces that weren’t included in the style in his fingers.

“What?” I asked, completely ignoring him playing with my hair. Which he stopped about as soon as he started. I was confused as to what topic of interest Jean Kirstein and Kiyomi Azumabito would have in common. “What are they talking about?” “You.”

I laughed dryly, “Real funny, Eren. Now come on, let’s get this over with.” I began to walk over to the door we needed to cross, but Eren didn’t follow. “What?” I repeated, my tone whiny as if I were a child.

He let a small smile come over his face, and he shook his head. “You’re so oblivious, Lina.” With that, he walked towards the door and held it open for me. Now that the group knew I finally made it, I couldn’t ask any more questions. I had to push down the interrogation bubbling up in my stomach, threatening to spill out at any second. I gave him a weird look, and stepped into the room.

[angieice]

🧡👩🏻‍🦰🤎~

[14846]

Chapter 4: Life and Blood

Everytime the soldier drew blood he would get emotional. Drip, drip, the scarlet painted down onto the grass by his boots. Pinned against the tree in casual sitting form, Reiner kept himself diligently looking down at the mess in his hands. He had cut himself, and after three years [going on four] of losing the ability to snap into titan form through this power of blood, he still hadn’t gotten used to being so careful with knives. Jean had made himself useful by the fire, busy occupying himself with the bottle of booze he met in matrimony with for the past twenty minutes. Armin was inside Historia’s cabin, oddly enough also making himself useful to whatever important conversations were to be had. Reiner, though coming very close with his Paradis comrades, had still failed to ultimately fit in with the political business of the island. He wasn’t much of a politician, anyways, and he never got offended. 

Jean had insisted they camp by the fire for a few more hours, and Reiner had a bottle or two too-much for his liking. His cheeks were a bit pink, and with the warmth he felt hovering over his head, he decided that he shouldn’t have any more alcohol for the night. However, that stray of coherent thought was lost when he found his hands buttering over a stick with his pocket knife. 

“Ah shit,” the blonde’s voice wavered ever so quietly to not alert his vain friend. His teeth bared together and he felt his lips purse upward to form a frown. Good thing it was dark. Sure, it was painful, but being able to see life burst through his skin and not ultimately iterate toward a 2000 year old curse was beautiful. It reminded him how lucky he was to have peace, to have his friends, and to be able to live in the memory of those who could not join him today. He did not cry this time. Janette had seen him do that and it was enough embarrassment for him to endure for the next several months straight. 

—

A similar situation had occurred the last time he’d been with his girl. He was a bit curt about their relationship to his friends, but deep inside he knew that he was just about smitten with her. Jean did not need the details to recognize how distracted the burly man became anytime something about Janette came up. It was strange to the mullet-coiffured friend. Coming back to Paradis, everyone expected the blonde fool to trip his way to Historia, but one look at her husband and he backed off. Nobody even asked why, because there wasn’t ever a reason to ask in the first place. Obviously he had become self conscious about the situation. In fact, he hadn’t even looked at a girl once until some months later when Janette just appeared out of nowhere. It became so casual, and even Jean had become fond of how polite and caring this girl was. She was stern, but appreciative and oddly selfless.

Reiner had left the interior about a week ago, and his heart still was a sopping mess. This was so horrible. He’d had his share of flings, short-ended and long-ended (somewhat) relationships, and only a few made him feel this way. Maybe it was because Janette made it the forefront to become his friend first. There was nothing entirely romantic about their first date, even. She had even made him laugh. The boy needed some more of that, and Jean couldn’t keep holding that end of the stick alone for much longer. 

—

He’d stop by the tavern in the blinding daylight and walk with her when it was her break. He looked forward to these strolls, and there were only a few reasons he could chalk it up to. Normalcy was one. She had no background in government or military roles (not that it really mattered at the end of the day), but it brought him out of the line of life that he had lived in for a drastically long time. She brought up topics of funny situations within the community, drama with the upstairs neighbor and her husband. How a Mrs. Binnecker was ushering a man away with a broomstick when he asked her daughter on a date. She got in on a lot of the townspeak, considering that she was a barmaid and friendly with all the customers. She made him happy.

In all honesty, he had a hard time visiting at night, because despite their daily strolls becoming more and more personable by this point, he did not have the courage to ask her the official question yet. Did there need to be a question? They had already kissed once- or twice. Maybe he was overthinking the situation, but even then, his guts wrenched anytime he’d find himself around the block and the moon would be out. She never enticed any of the men who visited her bar, he thought, but those same thoughts turned into mere jealousy when they would stray to the image of another man flirting his way into her heart. Did love stories happen at bars? He wasn’t sure- he supposed his story did. She clearly had a soft spot for soldiers, but what about him? Did he mean more? 

He’d known her a good time now. How long was it? Several months, minus the few scheduled shifts from when he’d leave to visit his own home from time to time. Everytime he left he had the immediate fear that she would shack it up with a man she found better than him. He didn’t even think of what that would entail. She didn’t deserve those kinds of impure thoughts. She was a good woman helping her father with his business, working her way to go back to college whenever it was possible. Degrees had become majorly successful now that the whole world had opened up to the island. 

Pushing those brash thoughts away, Reiner entered the tavern in his usual gated fashion, though this time it was just barely becoming dark outside. He already had his walk with her and bought her some food for her break, so why was he coming back? He didn’t mention anything about returning later to her. She was nowhere to be seen, and his heart fluttered and just about sank down into the darkest depths of his chest. He left. Maybe it would’ve been romantic if he stayed maybe five minutes longer to see her coming back from the back door with a couple of crates of booze to restock.

Lucky for her, the working barman caught sight of the man (as again, he stuck out like a sore-thumb in any crowd), and the brunette ran outside to see if she could catch him. Gone. Like a fish who had just nibbled on the bait but did not bite. 

Luckily it was still just hardly 5 o’clock, plenty of time to see what he was up to. It was her turn to drag him out of duty, seeing as she had only done it a couple of times before. She felt bad for him always coming down to catch her on her break, so maybe now when he had obviously been free, maybe she could skip work. She went back inside and grabbed a nice bottle reserved for the more expensive-tasted customers, and she made her way further into the interior.

Considering that she had fetched this boy from his quarters a couple of times in the past, she figured not much would change when it came with her expectations of security in the building. They knew who she was by this point, because even at times when he had taken her from her work-breaks, they had to make a few stops in his room. Most of the time it was because he had forgotten something, maybe a letter or whatnot that he intended to take to the post-office. Every single time they came into the building and waltzed into his room, nothing ever happened. It remained entirely platonic, and honestly his behavior was just increasingly surprising to her. At first glance, you’d look at the man and think that he must’ve been some himbo-coded boy who might’ve compared his cock size to his friends. However, after getting to know him, he rarely set the precedent to such behavior. Well, except for a couple of times. Once, he had obviously trailed behind her with the excuse that his shoe wasn’t fitting right- or was it his sock? The blonde man had shuffled one leg up and toed his sock up his ankle every couple of steps until he lagged just a foot behind her, and after a solid minute of this, he made no effort to return to her flank. At one point Janette did not understand what the whole situation was, even offering a question as to why they didn’t just stop for a second when she noticed that he had been making eye contact with her ass. He tried to make it clearly evident that he was not doing such a thing, and he complied with her question and bent over to ‘fix his sock’. He was so embarrassed that even their conversations were pretty short-ended from there on out for the rest of the day. The second time was when he had kissed her. For being such a polite man, Reiner made the first move and kissed at once before he let her go back to work. He definitely knew how to maneuver his lips around hers, so it could only suggest that he simply had that kind of experience.

Someone opened the entrance door for Janette, and she took a few steps in and waved over to the CQ desk. She assumed it was someone Reiner knew because the female waved back and nodded her head toward the hall where Reiner’s quarters were. Was she even allowed to do this? She assumed so. She recognized the room where the male lived and she politely knocked in courtesy for his own sake. A pause, audible shuffle, and the hazel eyes of Reiner peered from the crack of the door until he lugged it all the way open. His brows were pinched together, eyes piercing down at her from what felt the heavens above (as there was a height difference). The entire pause between them had Reiner feeling self conscious for his room. At least his bed was made? 

“‘Mm doin' laundry, sorry for the mess,” he granted her room to enter. She blinked. There was hardly a mess, but maybe he had become so used to keeping things tidy in the military. A small stack of linens were folded on his desk, and a basket of freshly dumped, warm laundry were waiting to join their folded companions.  “It makes the room smell nice,” she teased, and waved the bottle in the air to show him what she brought to him. Voodoo. He was going to have to hide that. He smiled. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any glasses in my room.”

“We can just drink from the bottle, it’s fine,” Janette answered, adding it on his desk by his stack of clothes. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by?” she added, her head tilting to catch what the other was doing. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, somehow looking a bit more tired than normal. She made herself useful and retracted the bottle from the table and took a few steps over, casually shuffling onto the floor and wedging her back between his calves. “You don’t have to sit on the floor, Janette. There’s space up here, and a chair over there,” his head nodded to said lounge chair. She started to twist with the bottle with one hand, and her other grabbed at his forearm and prodded it over onto her head. “Yeah, but I think I’d rather have you play with my hair instead.” He did not argue, and they sat like that for a good while taking turns drinking excruciatingly small sips from the bottle. Maybe he wasn’t the best head masseuse, but it was doing the job. They laughed a couple of times, her more so than the blonde on several occasions. A couple of times his hand intertwined with her hair that she could’ve sworn he was taking a gander at gripping into it. 

There was this unexpecting silence between the two. The both of them knew very well that it was getting to be odd that they were playing this game of cat and mouse. They treated each other like they were the titled ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’, guiding their hands around each other’s own and introducing the other to their own friends. They kissed a few times, slid their hands around a little too inappropriately for a public eye, but never much more. 

She could never tell him that she would touch herself at night when she felt so lonely. It was becoming a bit more agonizing, and the wish that she could meet him in the middle and intertwine into the bed sheets was lulling a bit stronger. She felt so out of place in his room, a nervous pinch sweltering into her chest as she longed to get to know this place a bit better. She was surely wishing desperately on that night star for her sweet prince to come if you know what I mean. They were adults, for crying out loud, but she was feeling more and more like a horny teenager every passing day.

By this point she had made herself comfortably lean back against the side of the bed, Reiner’s thighs posed on either side of her face. The man had resolve, because even now he was still running his hand through her hair. She tried not to take notice of something else resting close by behind her head. Or maybe, she did. She took the excuse to tilt her head back and look up at his face innocently, the back of her head touching against that something else between his legs. He slowly cast his eyes down to meet her gaze, and raised an eyebrow questionably at her. Obviously he didn’t think this was made to be on purpose, and after a couple of seconds he quipped a small smile. They both knew, but neither objected. She noticed that his breaths started to get a little more steady as if it were helping the blood flow remain in his head. 

“Kiss me..?” She asked quietly, a genuine softness to her tone that didn’t suggest anything more. It seemed for his brain to take a second to register her request, but without a verbal answer he slowly bent himself forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. How polite. She murmured another quiet “kiss me”, and he complied with another by her eye. She only mouthed the request a third time and he made himself occupied by planting sweet, small kisses over various points on her face. Her nose, her eyes, her forehead; the corners of her lips, the arch of her jaw. Not once did he slip and extend any of his kisses into something deeper. She became stuck in the moment, and once any part of his face merited close to her own mouth, she’d lip a small kiss of her own in retaliation. Her hand abandoned the bottle and instead found it gently wrapping to Reiner’s hand, and she pulled it and caressed her fingers over the back of his palm. Her fingers tucked between his own and during his parade of soft kisses over her face, and she guided his hand over her collarbone and to her breast. 

The cadence of his kisses did not halter as his digits raked over the fabric rested over her bosom, and slowly he massaged his palm over the ball of her breast, his hand finally gating a gentle grasp around her. That big forearm by her face, that feeling of being surrounded by him, his gentle kisses and welcoming warmth made her feel complete at that moment. A small whimpered sigh escaped through the nook of her lips as she tilted her head away from his and planted a small peck against his arm. The blonde’s face was tilted and watching her; in awe with her. He was captivated and starting to feel that his face must’ve been fully drained by now. In fact, his face was burning so much that it felt that he must’ve had a large band-aid freshly ripped off of it somehow. 

He wondered what she thought of him. He was so apologetic with her, so understanding and soft that she placed him on a pedestal when he was with her. He felt guilty when he'd retreat back to his room and fist himself in bed or the shower. He felt that in those times he became barbaric compared to how he tried to nullify any of that behavior with her. He'd stand alone, dock his hand in place and take it to pound town, so caught up in his head about her that he couldn't rest until every thrust was satisfied. Post nut clarity made him feel like a mess, but he got so used to the red pill that he didn't even question it anymore.

 She noticed that his eyes had left planet Earth. They had become enraptured by her, and she doted on how unmistakable it was. The attention he gave her made her rif her thighs together, only subtle enough for her own satisfaction. He made her feel this way. Every time he smiled at her. Every time he'd tilt his head and speak so softly just for her. The way his forearms looked around anything he did with his hands. The way his pants were always clipped together by a nice belt and how the pant legs hugged around his thighs. How his button-ups were always ironed and tight in all the right places. He looked too fine to be treating her so kind. He never asked for anything, and yet always was on his best behavior. She wanted to tear him all down and mold him back up into her. She wanted to hold him close and allow him access to all of her.

He saw her as a friend, obviously in a different context to how he treated his comrades. A.. really good friend. He loved how serious she would get, how focused her gaze would become and the way her eyebrows pinched together as she listened to people talk. She hated the bar life, and he knew that. She had compiled her plans to attend university later that fall. In all honesty, he was excited for her. What made him self conscious was what he could offer to her. He had no college education. The only thing paying him enough was the government, and luckily due to his rank and rigor, he was paid handsomely. He wasn't sure how the tallies all added up, but he was sure she was just out of his league. She would dress so nice, care about her hair and somehow make herself look so put together. She was normal, and he was not. He might be traveling or taking part in some official business and couldn't tend to her. He had been trying to convince himself that it wouldn't work. Even then just one look at her frame and he'd smother himself down into ash. 

She continued to tap her lips against his forearm. To also continue to make himself useful, he skirted his other hand that was still semi-planted in her hair. He ran it over her shoulder and collarbone a couple of times before he slipped his digits just under the fold of her blouse, just enough to mark a better massage by her neck. A gentle pause, and her head tilted back again to meet with her lover. 

—

Right, the blood. Reiner looked at the once doomed, perilous sky as he sat against the strong tree across from Historia’s cabin. Where had his thoughts gone?

 He’d mentioned what the function of blood was to Janette when it came to Titan shifting. Mainly due to her own curiosity she presented to him that night he was thinking of. In concession to their bedroom flirting, the mood of the room suddenly shifted. The girl sat up and shuffled onto her knees and pivoted to face him. She propped her arms up on his kneecaps and the blonde had no choice but to sit up straight. 

She had noticed he was tired. So naturally she asked “was it hard?” The male blinked, unsure of what she was referring to at first considering she had been deathly close to his crotch. He felt his cheeks flame red until the brunette explained further, having noticed the misunderstanding for herself. “The war? Being a titan?”

Titans. 

“It was just as hard as it was for you to live through.” “I lived in the interior, Reiner.” “Yeah..” A pause, and the blonde’s gaze carried elsewhere in his room. “You lived for so long, half titan,” she looked down and slowly reached for his hand, and turned it upward so his palm was facing toward the ceiling. “I heard-” she raised her other hand and ran her finger down the center of the clutch of his hand- “you had to draw blood to turn into a titan..”

An uncomfortable hazel gaze down to their hands confirmed it for her. So she knew now. A couple of hours later and his friend left with no baggage or success to claim other than another lonely night by herself. 

—

He set the scene in his mind, getting deliriously lost under the stars. A few days before he left..

Reiner made it transparent that he was going to be gone for a few weeks, and Janette practically begged for the lug to hang one last night at the bar. Drinks were on her, she iterated. He couldn’t deny her, but he made no plans on getting intoxicated. 

Janette was working double time as an influx of customers happened to spare their time within the business. A table of buffoons she was serving had made themselves a nuisance, but as always, Janette’s best behavior remained. She carried a tray of booze and cocktails over, and in a way of horrible manners, the bloke scooted his chair back right as she was cornering their table, and the platter went crashing down before she could even begin to think of dispersing their drinks. 

Reiner had been on standby, leaving her to perform her job when she would announce to him her adieu to her customer’s needs. He did not want to buck his way in like some knight in shining armor, but only because she had told him how the buggards had been treating her the entire night did he find his stride quickly encroaching the scene. 

“Hey,” his stern, yet cool voice interrupted his girl’s apologies and the gimmick of comical comments between the drunk men. There wasn’t anything he could do. He had been so used to rolling with the punches and letting them hit him in the past that he still wasn’t akin to confronting personal business. He could hold his own, but this was not the time. He made eye contact with Janette after sweeping his eyes across the table of evident offenders. The sight of the burly man made the intoxicated jokesters quiet down, only slightly snickering once and a while for reasons they couldn’t help. 

Reiner arched his knee forward and planted it against the plank floor and started to pick up some shards of broken glass. At the time, Janette begged for him not to help, but the soldier did not listen. She relented and left to grab some rags and bags to secure the glass fragments, and upon returning they worked together to bag the bigger pieces and clean the crime scene appropriately. A few confident comments from the tabled stragglers were thrown to Reiner, many of the words scoring some sort of ailment of “you suck her dick or something?” or “is princess cleaning?” The customer was always right.

A pinch in his hand told him something had happened during their slander. He must’ve not been paying attention. The pair continued to clean before a few more hands of workers butted in to finish up the job. The entire time of this shift of turns to clean the mess stood the soldier, staring down at his hand with an ever so blank expression. He had cut himself quite deep. Just like how he had failed to be the best head massager, his hands weren’t made for delicately picking up broken glass, either. Blood was drizzling across his palm and he had no choice but to cover it up with his other hand. He couldn’t just admit he was bleeding to his friend, not when there were so many people around them. His nerves got to him, and he felt his face warm up. Damn. He really was the princess..

So lost in thought to a space held so captive in his mind. The soldier was careful to birth the malediction from his hand. The hair stood on the back of his neck, his arms proliferating with lanes of goosebumps. The feeling was the same- that innate sensation where an incredible source of life would bore between the fragmentation of the heavens and hell. The lights around him blurred and conformed in one proper, the glowing orb sore in front of the water laminating over his eyes as he felt every muscle tense. Could he breathe? The pain, exhaustion, and discomfort it took to partake in the sacred 2000 year old ritual. He was the chosen one. A goddess from the deep firmament bestowed this power and divinity into his blood, and every time any spilt in offering, the praxis of worship ensued. If so desired. 

Control.

Hold it back.

It had been too long for him. Control wouldn’t be merited anymore, and accidents could happen. There were gods before the lands, when humans were conceived by driftwood, rolled and formed by the Jotunns. The great giantess Ymir painted their husks in her image, and promise affirmed their being. Generations resulted in reparations for the subjects. Accidents. Their bodies and blood turned to wrath and dishonesty, soon sludging the curse forever. So many souls lost in the paths. His burden.

And like the tugging of his affliction where body meets the mind and spirit; something else. A tug that made his arm lurch forward and reach out above for air. Breathe. He could not. The only exit to his blind lament was to Keep. Moving. Forward. Firm like a dove’s wings berating against the blue above, loose like a soul lost at sea, his heart hung out on the line sliding closer and closer to freedom.

He supposed it was the publicity or the embarrassment, but his eyes cleared as he was being tugged outside. His tear ducts could not catch his blurry vision in time, and the brackish water tapered to the tops of his cheeks and rolled down to meet at his jaw. His un-tugged arm folded and cleaned off the emotional stains before Janette could turn and see him, but regardless, she could tell the blonde male had been teary by the redness in his gaze. She did not expect him to speak, much like the first time she met him. 

She did not need an explanation. She had already known. Titan or not, he was paralyzed by the trouble of war and peace. They were a pair of beer-scented, disheveled individuals on the street. To any scout of the night, it could’ve been reckoned that the duo was an inebriated beau getting disappointedly walked back home by his flame. 

He had come to, enough to walk with a bit more sophistication, and about a few steps in their venture back to his quarters did she finally pause to access his current state. A state of love and trust. His fingers pinched at her sleeve and lightly pulled at the fabric a couple of times. This only made the brunette tilt her head in question, not totally understanding where the man was coming from. Relief. He looked.. Relieved? 

He was saved. By gods, he was saved. He was so lucky to have this life. 

“I embarrassed you,” he said quietly. His thought flinched from relief to the fact that he could’ve just ashamed her in front of her whole business. He didn’t want to imagine how he must’ve looked in his still, pointless panic. There was a deafening pause to their bubble. “I haven’t bled,” he included quietly. “Not like that..” It sounded stupid to any dumb ears, but the translation made it through rather clear. 

Her free hand slid over to the man’s fist that was clutched to her sleeve, and she cupped whatever would fit underneath her grip as she held eye contact. It was enough. She turned on her heel, disengaged with the sentiment as she pulled the man along up the street. He didn’t embarrass her. He hadn’t done a thing wrong, and if this was an incredible relief to him, by gods she wanted to maintain it. 

Time had skipped in their speechless walk where he lived. They were such messes, but they were the youth. There was something so uniquely handsome about this untied feeling the world offered. Reiner could never forget the pain, the suffering, the feelings of when life was a constant panic for him and the other people serving. The constant running, the amount of times that pain had become so prevalent that it was just a part of the contract he served. Another number, another statistic in an upward battle. It was rare for this world to know what true luxury of having a day of no worries was like. 

He was looking forward. He had been given another chance. He couldn't dwell that his world would still be far from perfect, and he couldn't be jealous that maybe the future generations would finally experience what he did not. The only people truly at peace would be the humans who were resting far in the dirt and away. It was only fair for him to continue life for them. He missed Bertoldt a lot.

He unlocked the door for her and allowed her entrance into his dark chambers..

—

He woke up alone. He was forced to flex his fingers after finding they had become incredibly stiff around the temporary wrap he had created around his knife wound. He prepared himself for the day, regretting the pounding ache he felt in his temples. Lightweight. Or maybe the alcohol was unusually strong. He hoped for the latter. 

There was still a divide in the government from the aftermath of Eren Jaeger. When it came to handling a resolution to political disputes between the parties for the republic and the Jaegerists, there would only be short-ended remarks his comrades would make about their fallen, suicidal maniac. He was the same. He had never forgotten. Historia was perfecting the plans for a new proposal: to accentuate the services of the military and to recapitulate the meaning of a unified country. The mission’s time near the interior was heavy in meetings and calculations for an actual, official court date. The civil matter happened to be fine with Reiner considering he could discern a schedule with Janette without much unorthodox conflict. The new government was still very much not what it used to be, and so scheduling conflicts were prevalent until now. 

With Historia’s vouch, the group of war heroes were hoping for a chance to regain the trust and help to ultimately open all services to and from the outside world. It was still incredibly limited, as Reiner later learned, of what Paradis had and had no access to. 

The journey back for the official meeting, and the veterans found themselves advancing toward what sounded like a loud buzzle of noise on the street approaching the court. The driver of their vehicle attempted a slight detour in order to avoid the crowd of a mere small group of pissed people. Against them. There must’ve been some sort of leak for this to start. They were heroes to most people, right? No.. This was the whole point of their mission. Plead their case, build a common cause, and mend together. A bottle slammed into the window, breaking straight through the primitive car’s thin layer of a looking glass, and hitting the driver right in the head, causing a swerve into a shop kiosk nearby. 

Historia warned of something like this happening, but the group was so adamant to remain presentable by some wage of normalcy to prove to the people that they were all the same, created and serving for the same cause. It was a risk Armin was keen on taking, and like many times before, the other blonde’s face was of pure shock as the car crashed into the booth. 

The crash, but no immediate move was made to what Reiner was sure would’ve happened. The soldier vetted that this rage of violence would only merit a further attack against the cornered group. Nobody came, not immediately. The crowd must’ve been shocked after realizing their own power in the situation. Maybe it had been a long time since these people felt the vigor of having any jurisdiction over what happened in their lives in a long time. 

Some yells, evident shuffling and arguing pursued and the group, one-by-one, was pulled out of the car by some government security. The car had made it only 100 yards from the court. Just as soon as the male was jerked out of the car by a firm, helping hand of security, another managed to meet his face at blurry speed. He hadn’t even made it fully out of the car, but now the only way out seemed to be his body meeting flat with the street. The punch managed to contort his positioning and hook his boot into the sidebar of the automobile, and in a horrible sight, he found his shoulder met in first contact against the harsh ground. A kick. Was that a pipe? For the love of the Jotunns, why him?

His hazel eyes pierced into the slow movement. The pride of the wielder. The way his attacker held such a gesture of a god slamming down punishment to his subjects. Their eyes met, and from there Reiner could read everything. There was no need or power of any Titan that could have studied it on his behalf. Distraught, anger, sadness. Most importantly, betrayal. This commoner- or perhaps he, too was a soldier once- felt betrayed. There was a power in his swing. 

They were cursed together. 

His blocking forearm caught a wind of the blow, and thankfully, not so much of the brunt force upon the second swing, because Reiner managed to twist his torso enough in time that the pipe met firm with the street. He wasn't getting any younger, but the blonde ran over this reasoning thousands of times. The devil descent 13 year lifespan he was given alike tended to age the shifter quicker. Not for wisdom or lack of grace, but because of the physical pressure it put on one's bones, one's heart, one's lungs, and one's mind. The very soul would be the only thing to ring in the youth that the body could not account for.

Regaining your youth was simply something Reiner would have little chance to work with. His back ached, but the burly man quipped out his arm and lurched it at his attacker's own leg. A short break in the fight led to a tussle to the ground, pipe long discarded, and both men were grappling for dear life. For what? One perhaps wanted to do a number on the other, one perhaps wanted to hold a restraint but was gaining less and less of an opportunity to play a defensive tactic.

The soldier was going to have to abandon all of his ethics and turn offensive despite the years and years of being affirmed a defensive role. Right. Being placed in the bottom of the tussle was the first matter to deal with. Reiner was restraining the other's arms as his attacker was thrashing and finding any way to reach for their own pocket. It would be over if he allowed that maneuver to happen. 

A millisecond. It was all it took for Reiner to fail, and for the other to free his hand and rush it to his side. Reiner's grip reached for an opening, but like a sick comedy his oppressor managed to take control of the other restrained hand and twist at the lunging grip with such an impounding force that the blonde soldier had no choice but to convulse his knee in the air.

Over. The oppressor pulled a knife unlike any model the hazel-eyed man had seen in Paradis. How was it that such a man of far-right nationalism took part in the opposing foreign expansion that he was so against? The thin curvature of the blade no doubt told him the reason why. It was a special forged hunting knife, and Reiner was the perfect target for its purpose to be utilized. How sickening. Obviously pure nationalism had limits when it came to foreign purchases to this man.

A few kicks in a weak attempt to get the other man off. A bewildering time to remind himself of his mortality. Ironic, how when he could turn to the power of the titans for the immortal strength yet have his life so shortened and limited. Now, when there was no immortal strength, he had to suffer the consequences of potentially dying with the odds of living for much, much longer.

His forearm blocked the resistance. Reiner faced inches away from the tip of the blade, and he swore his pupils were sweltering double vision at how close it was impending. Another grip of the blonde's other hand slapped against his wrist to hold up and maintain the resistance. Now the only thing blocking him from death was the unimpressive box he had shaped with his arms.

The entire time the soldier had been working up his knee closer and closer to their torsos. It had been a terrifying situation for him, because it seemed every inch his boot could chafe and work leverage against the street, the fight would send it back another two inches in their struggle. It was all within plan if he could just succeed. Reiner's planned attack would have to start with just a little movement. With friction on his side, and a questionable, horrifying bump, the other accommodated drastically. Reiner's arms were quick in succession. The oppressing rebel had faltered to maintain balance to Reiner's nudge. The goal was now to keep the blade at its new location: his collarbone. The other did not seem the slightest displeased, as the attempt looked like it had been a poor performance for the blonde to free himself.

 He had witnessed the fighting technique in a few graphic novels he had scarcely found growing up in the Liberio internment camp. Surely pain elsewhere in his body was something he could deal with much better than his face. A release of the tension, and the knife buckled and met with the textile of his greens. The pinch and rip of the threads were inaudible, but the sensation was much louder and sound. The controlled stab was the best resort. In all time sense, the whole thing happened in the span of mere moments. 

The slight release of tension from his attacker due to the shock of this whole incursion being successful- a powerful contender to how shocked the other protesters were when the bottle shattered into the vehicle. The soldier could tell from the very beginning of the incident. These people were still terrified of consequence. The look in the other's eyes as the knife met flesh confirmed his suspicion all the more.

And Reiner saw his chance. He took a gander and hammered his arm into his opponent's hand to deter any more chance of a repeat offense. This may have battered the knife a bit and coursed its blade to the side- which caused an insurmountable amount of pain for Reiner- but at least he was homeward bound. An arm out, another to defend. Repeat. The other was still off guard.

Professionalism was key. Reiner hooked the heel of the boot to the other's shoe, locking it in place against the boundary of themselves. A slight pivot, as he remembered from all those days of endless training, and the blonde thrusted his torso upward and followed his whole body weight in a switch of power. 

He did not expect the strain or tearing of blood fighting to keep a steady course along the wound. So much scarlet liquid seemed to pour out, and so much loss in gravity as the balls fell and hit the ground. A tide bloomed around and stained the green of his rather proper dressage for the day's original plans. So much, that it was pathetic to see how something so unified and whole that cased a soul was utterly failing to stay together. Droplets lost contact with other droplets, and Reiner could imagine the world of red cells fighting to keep together to only be torn apart and separated from their home. 

Adrenaline made it effortless for the opponent's back to get slammed into the street. It could not be enough. He was dying, and his comrades would have nothing for it if he could not defend his life for them. He was a traitor once. He was a traitor again for this foe attacking him. He was a mockery of a puppet being strung by elites for his whole life. He needed to inexplicably prove he could save and protect what was dear to him. Another man free meant another man to endanger the people he loved most. We are the same. He had been told that before, and sulking with disparage had done nothing but prove to him that he would also do anything to protect his friends. 

The blonde could not let this go. The moment made him barge out a noise of pain as he yanked the knife out (yes, this is bad), and he threw it yards away from both their reach. A sickening gaze from his hazel eyes, and without a flinch of hesitancy his arms twisted, his knee boring against the other's chest as he moved around and struggled his arms around for a headlock. Kicking, screaming, even beckons for forgiveness pursued from the other. Sounds of choking, the feeling of the other's heart against his arms, and fight for movement. Reiner was not numb to it, and suddenly the entire situation made him feel nauseous. 

He let go.

He was sick.

There were no heroes in this case. Both held onto their hopes of what a good future for their children would look like. A strong word with strong meaning, yet a multitude of reasoning behind it.

It's braw, aye it's braw, a captain's lady for to be And it's braw to be a captain's lady-o It's braw to ride around and to follow the camp And to ride when your captain he is ready-o Twas in the early morning, when we marched awa And O but the captain he was sorry-o The drums they did beat o'er the bonnie braes o' Gight And the band played the bonnie lass of Fyvie-o The captain's name was Ned and he died for a maid He died for the bonnie lass of Fyvie-o

*Lots of info, sorry for the dump.

Chapter 5 soon!

[tender-hearteddd]

i really did not like that the only two options for the liberation of paradis in aot was eugenics and genocide so I’m using my OC and my fic to really just be against that because those two options are both bad and I think isayama failed to provide more options. so here’s a quick and very messy explanation on what’s gonna go in my fic :D

so when we’re first introduced to the outside world, we know that there is war between marley and the mid east but we don’t know why. we know that marley is losing its geo political power due to losing the colossal titan, the female titan and in my fic, my OC’s titan that originally belonged to the fictional country of Dadar which the mid east was apart of until marley came along and separated them into different countries. since there’s literally no canon knowledge about the mid east, I’m going to give more insight into the mid east and it’s relation to the world. the mid east is a marley settler colony, along with like most of the world in the aot universe. it’s just another country to increase marley’s geopolitical power. the mid east is ruled by the osman royal family. their betrayal by siding with marley centuries ago is what caused dadar and the mid east to separate into two different countries. the osman royal family and marley ended up stealing the titan that originally belonged to dadar from a woman named Ma’at.

Ma’at was a young 16 year old girl who stayed in an all girls orphanage and was to be adopted by the osman royal family due to her ability of being a titan shifter - the osman royal family only wanted to adopt her in order to gain marley’s power so they sacrificed their whole entire country. after that - dadar became impoverished and the mid east was on its way to become one of the biggest geo political powers of the world. Ma’at’ orphanage ended up developing into an all women secret organization (started by Ma’at’s best friend) where the main goal was to gain back Ma’at’s titan and to unite the Mid East and Dadar. In order to do this - they infiltrated Marley’s training program by sending OC to become a warriors candidate and they infiltrate the royal family by marrying a girl named Fatma to the Otman Prince.

their plan fails when marley sends OC to paradis operation on purpose so dadar wont have any access to OC’s titan and when Fatma abandons them in order to pursue her own plan. Fatma’s plan is for the Mid East to completely abandon Marley as a whole and become its own nation but due to Fatma’s disdain for Dadar, the Mid East and Dadar would not unite again and Dadar would become a Marleyan AND Mid Eastern settler-colony once OC is back from her mission, so OC could forever be in the hands of those who do not belong to her. When OC learns about this when she comes back from her mission, completely and utterly depressed and angry, she attacks both Marley and the Mid East and war is broken between the three nations.

Marley wants more geo political power, the Mid East also wants more geo political power by sacrificing its sister nation once again, and Dadar wants full sovereignty and for the Mid East and for Dadar to become one country again. OC believes Marley is the center of the worlds issues. When OC sided with Marley to win against the Mid East in war, it’s another secret ploy to overthrow the Marleyan government. When the Survey Corps attack Liberio, this plan is ruined as Dadar and OC are obligated to help Marley. Marley’s plan is to completely destroy Paradis - OC’s plan is to talk to Eren and to convince him to join her and the rest of the oppressed to stop Marley - that the whole world aren’t enemies but also victims basically.

TLDR;

overthrowing marleyan government>>>>>genocide

[meliakirschtein]

A Sleepless Night

Jean stirred in his sleep… if you could even call it sleep. Some nights were better than others, but this was one of those nights were his sleep was restless, and the cold hard ground was not helping. He and the rest of the special ops squad had been on the run from the government. Eren and Historia were abducted, as were many of the other Survey Corps soldiers. It was only a matter of time until they were arrested as well, so they fled into the woods and managed to set up a makeshift base there.

A makeshift base being a campfire and all the cadets sleeping together under the stars… Each took turns keeping watch, in case the Military Police managed to track them down, and as Jean stirred in his sleep, he ended up sitting up and looking over towards the campfire to see who was on watch. He saw Melia Bodt sitting next to the fire, poking it lightly with a stick. He and Melia had been close since their cadet days, thanks to her close bond with her brother Marco. But after his death, the two became even closer, both harboring unspoken feelings for each other.

*Melia? She was on watch when I first laid down to sleep… but how long ago was that? Why is she still on duty?* Jean thought to himself as he tried to untangle himself from the grasps of sleeping Connie and Sasha, who he was currently sandwiched between. He quietly made his way over to the fire and silently sat down next to Melia. “Why the heck are you still on watch?? You should be alseep…” he said, picking up a stick and joining her in poking the fire.

“Actually Captain Levi is on watch,” she said, looking off into the dark distance, apparently where Levi must’ve been watching from. “I just can’t sleep…” she said. Jean looked up at her, her face being dimly lit by the fire as she rested her chin on her knees folded up in front of her. “It’s about that girl still, right?” he said, referring to the girl she had shot and killed on the speeding wagon earlier that day. She nodded, not looking up from the fire.

“I-I’m still so sorry,” he said, apologizing again. “If I had just done my job…” he began. “It’s not your fault… I’m the one responsible for my actions… it’s just-“ she said, finally looking up at him. “When I saw her with the gun pointing at you… I couldn’t control myself, I was so afraid of losing you, I didn’t stop to think about her…” she continued, some tears welling up in her eyes. “And I’m alive thanks to you… the problem is that I DID stop to think about her and hesitated, which is why you had to shoot in the first place,” Jean said.

“I should’ve been the one protecting you. If she did shoot me, you would’ve been next in line… if that happened, I wouldn’t have kept my promise to Marco,” he said, shyly looking down at the fire. “Marco?” Melia asked, looking over at him. “Before our mission to Trost… He made me make a promise to him… that if something ever happened to him, I would look out for you,” he answered. Melia blushed, thinking back to her brother, who could immediately tell his sister had a growing attraction to Jean.

Her brother that always looked after her… and Jean did too… though she imagined they viewed her in the same light, as a little sister. Though she had been crazy about Jean, she always assumed he was still into Mikasa, which was apparent the first time he encountered her. “So… all those times you looked after me… was because of the promise you made to Marco,” she said, thinking back to all those times Jean swooped in to save her from a titan. “Well… not entirely,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and blushing, to Melia’s surprise.

“It’s like you were saying… I didn’t think about it… in those moments all I was worried about was you. I- I care about you, Melia,” he said. Now, she was blushing, too. She glanced over in the direction of their sleeping comrades. “Careful what you say… Mikasa may hear it,” she said, defensively. Jean sighed. “You always tease me about Mikasa,” he said, furrowing his brows. “Well you’re into her, aren’t you?? You have been since our cadet days…” Melia replied.

“Well… I guess I was kinda into her at first for awhile… but, she’s not the one I fell in love with,” Jean said. His face was a deep crimson red, so he was thankful that the light was so dim and Melia probably couldn’t see how embarrassed he was. “Ugh, IDIOT! It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!!!” Jean said to himself, hiding his face in his hands as if regretting saying anything. Melia just stared at him with her eyebrows raised, not quite sure what to say.

“I wanted to confess to you somewhere romantic… like over a homemade candlelit dinner… or a horseback ride with just the two of- hey! Are you laughing at me?!” Jean said, realizing that Melia was chuckling quietly. “I’m sorry… you’re just always so confident, but you’re so flustered right now, it’s cute,” she said, smiling up at him. “Oh, shut up,” Jean said, playfully giving her a light shove. “Sorry, I’m just trying to hide my own embarrassment,” she said, covering her face slightly. “I lo-“ Melia began, but was cut off suddenly.

 “Hey, what’s going on here?” the voice of captain Levi from the darkness, followed by him walking into the dim light of the fire. “Shouldn’t you two be sleeping? We’ve still got several hours until sunrise… and we’ve got some distance to travel tomorrow, you better be rested up,” he said, plainly. “Sorry, sir… I was having trouble sleeping,” Melia said, realizing that her mind was no longer on the MP she had killed. “Whatever,” he said, going over towards the sleeping soldiers to wake up Sasha for her watch.

“The Captain is right, Melia… we really should be getting some rest,” Jean said, standing up and offering her a hand. “Yeah,” she said, taking it and following him back over towards the sleeping bags. Sasha passed by them, smacking herself in the face as if trying to wake herself up for her watch. Jean laid back down in his place and pulled the blanket over him as Melia laid down next to him where Sasha once was. She pulled the blanket over her and curled up on her side, facing Mikasa.

She stared at her friend, wide-eyed… though her mind was no longer on the MP, her mind was now filled with thoughts of Jean. She flipped over to the other side and saw Jean facing her, his eyes closed already and his hands resting in front of him, partly obscuring his face. She watched him for a moment, then realized she never finished what she was set on saying earlier. “I love you, Jean,” she said in barely a whisper, admitting aloud something she always knew deep down.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, opening his one eye in view, as if to peek at her before shutting it tightly. She could see a tinge of pink on his cheeks, even in the dark, and she reached in front of her and set her hand next to his, barely touching it. He must’ve felt it, as he moved his hand on top of hers, grasping it gently. His simple touch put Melia at ease, knowing Jean would be there to protect her… finally knowing that he loved her back. She was finally able to fall asleep.

[marleysfinest]

another!!!!!! I said another!!!!!

this is basically a "sorry" for both leaving it so long between parts and also the last one being so woefully short ajsjfkdsjfskf

With this, we could bring back someone from the very brink of death and have them inherit a Titan, simultaneously breathing new life into them and condemning them to carry a desolate burden. Would that necessarily mean shifting the tide in our favour? None of us knew for sure. I tried not to think about the possibility of this serum being used on anyone in order to eat Reiner. That being a possibility alone was enough to stomach, and I couldn’t dwell on it any further. 

[nixie-writes-aot]

From Darkness We Flee

Chapter Five: Ice Queen Zakai

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical angst

Characters: Zakai Eriko, Connie Springer, Jean Kirschtein, Marco Bodt

Word Count: 1.3k

Zakai was simply going through the motions again. She was tired and this life was crumbling under her touch, she stared into her potato soup as life happened around her. How long had it been? A week? Just a week? Zakai sighed, her mind was always elsewhere these days, wasn't it? From her paranoia to this hopelessness, it was far from where it should be. Zakai couldn't help but think about Reiner, about Bertholdt, about Annie. Yet it was a shocking reveal to herself, one that burned and blazed within her own heart. You still need to atone. Zakai reminded herself, closing her eyes. What was she meant to do? With them? Tell Shadis? Who would believe her? Zakai tilted her head downwards, all the more conflicted. Zakai could make him believe her but at what cost to herself? Was that the best course of action? Zakai couldn't decide which would garner the best results. Let them rip this world apart limb from bloody limb and survive in whatever they leave behind? Tell the instructor and likely be ignored or dismissed? Zakai wouldn't really blame him either, not realizing the horror that is a reality ripped out of their very memories. Zakai could show Shadis that titan shifters do exist, show herself off as a sacrificial lamb. What will stop him from slaughtering me? Scratch that, torturing me for days on end while they get to escape with little consequence? 

Zakai stood abruptly, she knew eyes on her. It was a burning feeling. She looked beside her at Eren, the brunette was beyond bewildered. Those teal eyes wide, similarly Armin was just as surprised. Zakai wordlessly left as Eren opened his mouth to speak, leaving those at the table to come to their own conclusions. Anger blazed its way through her veins, fear gripped her heart with its icy tendrils. A clash of hot and cold, searing and freezing. Zakai slammed the door to the mess hall shut behind her, narrowing her eyes. Zakai would not let them dictate what path she would take. As she originally ascertained, she needed someone. Zakai could not be caught by either side, she knew that much. Zakai slowed her pace to a stop, staring up at the dawn above her. The way the chill in the air felt on her skin, causing goosebumps to rise along her arms. 

It was just a moment of peace, with no one around to see how she settled and let the sky draw her in. It felt like freedom. 

Zakai never wanted to stop feeling this clarity ever again, the way there was orange and pink along the sky as the sun rose with every passing minute. Zakai inhaled deeply before letting her stress melt away as she exhaled. Zakai let a small smile grace her face. However, it fell in an instant as she grew rigid, feeling someone wrap their arms around her torso from behind. Zakai scowled, annoyance flickering in her blue grey gaze. 

"If you value your life, let go before I end it, worm." Zakai growled, voice giving away her irritation. 

Zakai felt the person hugging her go stiff and tense at her words, another bursting out in laughter. Zakai was certain there was only one moron who would be convinced to sneak up on her. So, with a cold calm that could terrify far too many, Zakai grabbed one of the arms that had been slowly releasing her. 

"No, no, no, NO!" Came his panicked voice, "HEL-"

And in a split second, Zakai swung the person's entire body over her own. It wasn't unlike Annie's own move except it wasn't using the momentum and weight of someone else to execute the throw. Zakai stared down at the boy who had shrieked as he was thrown. A resounding thud resonated from the bald boy's body. Connie laid there, staring up at the sky in both shock and pain. As if on cue, the laughing got louder. 

"Kirschtein." Zakai growled, turning and letting her gaze focus on the taller culprit. 

Jean was doubled over, holding his stomach as he laughed. Zakai was hardly impressed but looked to the small chuckle of the other beside Jean, she sighed and chuckled just as small as the freckled cadet. Zakai pressed a hand against her cheek, watching as Jean recovers and stands up straight. 

"You torment me, Pretty Boy, you really do." Zakai sighs.

Jean felt his cheeks redden, "Thats not my name!" 

The freckled boy stepped forward, "It was nice seeing you so calm before… Connie and Jean." He stated with a friendly smile and an awkward chuckle, "I'm Marco."

Zakai recognized him immediately. The boy she was sure would die for the military, after all… Wasn't he just way too nice? Those people either get corrupted or die. Either way, his reputation thus far would help her so she needed him. 

"Zakai, it's a pleasure." She hummed.

Zakai ignored how Jean rolled his eyes, stepping towards Marco. "Ignore Pretty Boy, he's just jealous of you. I'm sure." Zakai added on with a tilt of her head, "Not everyone can be as… Nice as you are." 

"You are such a bitch." Jean grumbled, approaching Connie and helping him up.

"An Ice Queen!" Connie remarked, "... You didn't have to throw me so hard!" 

Jean smirked, "Yeah. Ice Queen Zakai, huh?"

Zakai glanced over her shoulder, lazily glaring at Connie and Jean, "Then don't be such a moron, I won't have to beat intelligence into you." 

Marco sighed, "... Man, what a first meeting. Jean and Connie meant well! It's just… You left so abruptly and looked so…" Marco trailed off, shifting under Zakai's gaze.

Zakai stared at Marco. She felt a twinge of guilt. Was she really going to use him? Corrupt him all herself? This scene felt almost familiar as she furrowed her brows, shrugging, "I'm fine. Don't you worry, Marco, was it?" 

The black haired cadet perked up, "Yeah. That's right." He muttered, cheeks a touch red. 

"Marco's got a-" Connie began to ask, looking to Jean. The latter slapping a hand over his mouth, "Shut it." He growled, "You really are a moron, Ice Queen over there was right." 

Zakai finally turned to face the two, Marco by her side. She perked a brow but otherwise didn't show her reaction to the scene at hand. She snickered hearing Connie let out a muffled, "Ouch." Jean looked to her. The two at a standstill. Zakai knew he was observant, that much had been picked up through how fast he was improving at the ODM gear. She also knew she was highly skilled at covering her bases. Yet did he know? 

"Hey, what was that whole thing between you and Reiner a week ago?" 

Zakai grew stiff, staring at Jean for a few moments before sighing. "Why? What has the brute been saying?" She questioned, eyes narrowed.

Braun… You bastard. Zakai was cross, to say the least. Jean shrugged with a scoff, "Yeah, thats the weird thing. For all he does say, he's not really telling anyone much. It's damn annoying. I just want to know what stupid drama you've got going on, Captain's Daughter."

Zakai tapped her foot impatiently, "Nothing of any real note." She lied flawlessly, "I just don't like him. He's annoying and weak." 

Connie stared, "Am I just stupid or does that make no sense?" He questioned.

Jean scoffed with a loud hah, "If thats not the freshest load of bullshit I've ever heard. Weak? That guy? He tackled me and I felt like I got hit by a horse. If you call that "weak", how strong are you? 'Cause I saw you go down the other day pretty easily. Against Ymir." 

The brunette pressed her lips together in thought, "He… Used to be different, let's just leave it at that." Zakai grumbled.

Zakai thought for a second, about Reiner. About everything, just for a moment. Zakai had to navigate whatever he was saying, decide whether or not to expose those as lies or play along as he had told her. Zakai could say confidently, she hated Reiner Braun. That much she would never hide. Not now nor ever would she make the mistake of keeping quiet regarding that man ever again. 

[first] - [previous] - [next]

[comeawneileen]

HELLO THERE!

My name is Eileen! I’m a 26 y/o writer who has a love for roleplay and video games! My pronouns are she/her.

I’ve been really wanting to write in a few fandoms for awhile now; I’ll list some ships that i’ve been wanting to do!

OVERWATCH: Moicy ( Moira x Mercy ), OuiHaw ( Widowmaker x Ashe ), Cashe ( Cassidy x Ashe ) PharMercy ( Pharah x Mercy ), LifeSym ( Lifeweaver x Symettra ).

JUJUTSU KAISEN: SatoSugu ( Gojo x Geto ), NanaShoko ( Nanami x Shoko ) ChosoYuki ( Choso x Yuki )

I write the following characters in Overwatch: Ramattra, Dva, Ashe, Widowmaker, Pharah, Lifeweaver, Junker Queen.

I write the following in JJK: Satoru Gojo, Shoko, Choso, Sukuna.

Some miscellaneous characters i’ve written: Simon Riley ( COD ), Jean Kirschtein, Annie Leonhardt, Marco Bodt, Zeke Jaeger ( AOT ), Doctor Strange, Captain Marvel, Thor, Silver Sable, Loki, Star Lord ( Marvel ), Koska Reeves, The Mandalorian ( Star Wars Universe ), Tommy Miller ( TLOU ), Julian ( The Arcana ). Howl Pendragon ( Studio Ghibli ) Bulma, Future Trunks ( DBZ )

I also have a plethora of oc’s!! I’ll name them here: Yulia Volkov, Klara Becker, Stefan Myers, Fatima Nazari, Andromeda, Serru Akiko, Billie Barrows, Vavara Pasternak, Rain Goruu, Daldon Canto, Octavia Boyd.

A very very off the wall and out there ship that I did almost six years ago was a crossover ship between Widowmaker and Doctor Strange ( and it was BEYOND CUTE ), and somewhat recently, i did Simon Riley and Harley Quinn ( loved that one fr ), so i’m also incredibly down to do multifandoms!!

Some things to keep in mind:

1. I do not like pushy writers. I will reply when I can. Unless you’re paying me, I will take my time ( RP is a hobby! )

2. No Self Inserts. It’s cringe.

3. I will write with writers that are 21+ ONLY.

4. I prefer to write on discord and use the Tupperbox bot.

That’s about it! Feel free to shoot me a DM if you’d like to talk/Like this post and i’ll hollar at you!

[kribuki]

{Closed} LOOKING FOR ATTACK ON TITAN LITERATE-ADVANCE LITERATE RP PARTNERS [OCs welcomed]

I'm Kri, in my early 20s, in the CET (GMT+1) timezone, literate to advance literate, 1500~ keystrokes, 300~ words, third person perspective, past tense, only use Discord and absolutely love to dive in details and characters' psychology. I'm an enthusiastic and hyper writer who might annoy you with headcanons, plot-relatable clips, ideas and memes so I'm not for the weak hearts (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

We might be a good match if:

You're around my age or older (20+ y.o.).

You are not interested in smut-centered roleplays. I'm okay as long as the smut isn't more than a 70/3O plot to smut ratio.

You're active: I don't expect fast replies but I'd appreciate if you can at least send one/two replies per day. Of course, I completely understand if you'll be busy, just tell me in advance.

You can write multiple characters and multiple couples: my style of writing evolves around many characters, since it's a nice way to insert drama and chaos. We'll have our main characters in a main couple, but I also like to include a secondary couple or more. It can be considered as doubling, if you'd like, but maybe it's closer to mumu, since I prefer the ships to be written in the same story rather than having a complete different rp.

You like to mix different genres: romance is a must for me; it will always be there either as the main plot or subplot, but I also love to include many other genres, such as action, thriller, psychological, drama, fluff, angst, gore, fantasy, even comedy.

You're okay with mature and dark themes (dead dove: do not eat): I'm not going to write sugar coated stories, I like to write and explore many themes and they include possibly disturbing ones. I don't want to traumatize anyone, so, if you want to write with me, be prepared. I do not have triggers, although my only objections are adult x minor ships and incest. You may talk with me about your triggers and I'll gladly respect them.

You are open to both canonverse and AUs: I personally prefer AUs (alternative universes), since I believe they allow more freedom and creativity. Examples could be medieval, royalty, knights, monsters, ghosts, gangsters, professional hitmen, mafia, car racers.

You can write multiple rps: we all know how hard it is to find the right people with whom we enjoy writing, so I'd be very down to write multiple stories with you if we truly click and get along well. I like to make friends out of my partners, so we can write a lot and to our hearts' content.

You'll match my energy and don't mind OOC (out of character) chatting: like I said earlier, I get very excited and will most likely send you random stuff related to the story for fun and I love it when people can match my energy and spam me with content. It helps me keep my interest up and also gets me emotionally attached to our story. Moreover, I would really appreciate if you could be honest with me. I wish for both of us to enjoy the story we are writing so if you lost interest, if you want to change/drop it, please let me know instead of ghosting me.

Ships I'm interested writing

Only mxf ships. In bold are the characters I'll write. If both are in bold, it means I can write either of them. ♡ = prefered (but I like them all).

Ships as main couple:

Pieck Finger x Jean Kirstein/Kirschtein

Pieck Finger x Levi Ackerman (I know it's not a common ship, but I'm kinda curious about them 'cause, you know, they almost think alike, they both care deeply for their comrades, she is tactic smart, he is action-oriented, and they are both shorties lol. So if you'd like, we can try)

Pieck Finger x Zeke Yeager (also as side couple)

Pieck Finger x male Hange/Hanji Zoe

♡ Nanaba x Mike Zacharias (also as side couple)

♡ f!OC x Levi Ackerman

f!OC x Jean Kirstein

♡ f!OC x Mike Zacharias

♡ f!OC x Furlan Church (also as side couple)

Ships as side couple:

Erwin Smith x f!OC

Kenny Ackerman x f!OC

Zeke Yeager x f!OC

Eren Yeager x f!OC

Mikasa Ackerman x Eren Yeager

Mikasa Ackerman x Jean Kirstein

Reiner Braun x f!OC

Reiner Braun x Historia

Reiner Braun x Annie Leonart

Bertholdt Hoover x f!OC

Bertholdt Hoover x Annie Leonart

Porco Galliard x f!OC

Porco Galliard x Pieck Finger

Nile Dock x Marie / f!OC

Petra x Oruo

Please keep in mind I do want my main character to be a female. My secondary and side characters can be of any gender. I'm open to any ship if you want to write an OC. Those listed are the ones I'm most confident writing, anyway you just need to ask. I'll put as much effort in the side/secondary couple as the main couple so I'm not going to cast your ship aside because I love including many characters and see different dynamics. And I just recently found out this thing is called mumu (multi-muse) lol.

Ok, I'll stop here and thank you for reading this long post! If you're interested feel free to dm me, if you've got any questions I'll gladly enlight you. I look forward to meet you! (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[jeankluv]

Finding you || Jean Kirstein x f!oc

Words: 5,8k

Warnings: fluff, canon & post canon, some angst, spoilers for aot, the female character has a name but her appearance is never described, Jean’s pov mainly.

Summary: Jean never believed in love at first sight, it wasn’t until she appeared on his life

Notes: This is a story that has been on my drafts for over a year now, and I decided to finish it as a goodbye to one of my favorite characters, Jean Kirstein.

Materialist

Months passed by and no info about Eren was found. It was like he disappeared completely. While they searched for him they also investigated Marley and the world, that was the mission they had until some news from Eren came.

As usual Jean woke up early in the morning, he went to the kitchen of the apartment he was staying in, none of the group were staying in the same place but they were close to each other just in case. He prepared himself the usual breakfast and once he was done, he went to buy the newspaper. It was something he always did, that way he could recollect information for the group. He walked down the streets of the city, it was early in the morning so there weren't a lot of people around, just the ones on their way to their work.

He arrived at the store where he always bought the newspaper. He smiled at the owner and paid for it. He starts walking to a nearby coffee shop, so he can get coffee while reading the newspaper. That’s until he bumps into a girl, way smaller than her, and she falls to the floor. Jean looks at her and tries to help her stand but, she is faster, and pulls Jean to her and stamps her lips against his.

Jean doesn’t move and his eyes are wide open. He hears some people running behind them, searching for someone. That’s when the girl separates from him and looks around. Once she makes sure no one is around, she tries to run away once again.

“Hey!” Jean stops her. She tries to free her but Jean is way stronger. “Hey! Stop!”

And she stopped. “What?” She said with an angry look, looking at Jean.

“What? You just bumped into me and then kissed me. And now you want to leave without any explanations?” He said looking at her and crossing his arms.

“Yes, any problem big boy?” Jean smirked, she really is something.

“Those people… were searching for you?” He said pointing to the direction where they went.

She looked in that direction. “Why do you care?”

“Well… maybe I can help you.”

“You already did that.” She said and tried to leave but Jean grabbed her once again. “You don’t know me… so why do you care so much?”

“Because… maybe I don’t know your situation but you seem desperate and maybe I can help you.”

She laughed. “If you knew what I am you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be touching me or you wouldn’t even want to breathe the same air as me.”

Jean didn’t respond this time, something clicks in his head. Could she be a eldian too? So those people probably knew about her being an eldian and were trying to catch her and who knows what to do to her. This makes his blood boil, why it’s the outside world like this with them? He comes back to his senses, just to find that she is gone.

“Damn it!” He started ñ walking trying to find her but she is gone. Just like she appeared, she is gone.

Frustrated, he started walking back home. He really hoped the girl would be okay.

“Jean!” He heard his name being shouted by no other than the two most scandalous people on earth.

“You two really can’t keep a low profile, don’t you?”

Both made a sad face. “C’mon Jean boy, don’t be mad.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Now who is making a scene?” Asks Sasha laughing.

Jean lets out a sigh and keeps walking, followed by Connie and Sasha who are talking about going to the cinema, since finding out about it the whole group has been fascinated with it. The three of them arrived at the place where they usually met to talk about the things that they learned. The rest were already there, so they all sit around the table to talk. The reunion ends up with not much info or new clues.

“You seemed distracted.” Armin said. “You didn’t say a word during the whole time. What’s on your head Jean?”

“It’s nothing Armin, I was just tired.”

“You went out last night again? You know that if captain…”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Hey man. You know that if something is going on, you can talk. Right?”Jean nods and drinks from his coffee cup.

“Jean, are you coming to the cinema tonight?” Asked Connie.

“Yeah… sure why not?”

“Brats remember to be careful.” Captain Levi spoke looking at the group.

The whole group nodded after hearing their captain's order. It was early to go to the cinema, so they decided to hang out and enjoy their time together, pretending to be normal and not soldiers from the devils of the island. The five of them were on a bar drinking and enjoying the day. It really seemed like nothing changed, like they were still in their cadets day. Like all their commanders were still alive. It was nice, it was warm to see them happy, that’s what Jean was thinking while looking at his friends.

“Oi Jean!!” Screamed Connie into his ear.

“Are you dumb or something?!”

“I have been calling for you for the last 5 minutes.” Jean rolled his eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Ask for another round!” He said, raising his glass.

“Connie, if you keep drinking you want to be alright to watch the film.” Spoke Armin this time.

“C’mon Armin! We are young! Let’s enjoy ourselves! Right girls?” He said looking at Mikasa and Sasha, who until a few moments ago they were talking with each other.

“Yes, let's go, Armin!” Sasha screamed this time and Mikasa laughed at her friend's reactions.

Armin sighted, knowing it was a lost battle. “Alright, let’s have another round. Jean could…”

“Sure, I will buy another round.” He said standing and going to ask for another round. “The same as…”

“Disgusting eldian!” A man shouted, the whole group froze in place. “I’m calling the police! They have been searching for you right?”

Jean turned around to look at the place where everything was happening. There she was, the girl from the morning.

“Is she one of the devils?” A woman asked.

“Yes, this morning police were chasing her, and now she was trying to buy something here at my shop, pretending to be one of us!”

People started surrounding her and calling her disgusting names. Jean clenched his fists and tried to go to her.

“Jean… what are you doing?” Said Armin while holding him by the arm.

“We can’t leave her, she needs help!

“We can’t. If we do something they will suspect us.” Sasha spoke this time.

“I can’t do that! Sorry…” He said ignoring his friends.

He was being selfish, he was putting all his friends in danger and for what? For a girl that he met that same morning. What was he thinking? I must be going crazy. He pushed some people aside, to get where she was.

“You think a garbage like you, can keep escaping?! Oh no! You will go back to where you belong! Stupid slut!” The man said, grabbing her by the hair.

“Please… stop…” She said with hot tears rolling down her face.

“No you beg for mer…” Jean didn’t really think before punching the man in the face.

People gasped in shock and the face of his friends went completely blank.

“You…” The man said. “Who do you think you are?”

“I hope you can run. Because we are leaving right now.” Jean whispered to the girl, who stood next to Jean.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Why are you defending that evil?” The man shouted. ”Don’t tell me… you are also one of them?”

Jean grabbed her hand tightly, she looked at him. “Now!”

And both started running, as fast they could, ignoring anyone that shouted for them to stop. They kept running for a little while more, until it was safe no one was following them. Jean stopped and tried to catch his air again. He looked at her and saw her down on her knees facing the floor. She looked so small, fragile, different to that same morning.

“Hey.” Jean kneeled in front of her. “You okay?”

No response came from her, she didn’t even look at him. Jean sighted and stood back, looking around once again, making sure no one was near.

“We need to…”

“Why did you help me?” Her voice came out, almost as a whisper. “Now,…. Now you’ll be in danger because you helped me.”

“Because I wanted to.” Jean said, looking at her.

“Because you wanted to?” She stood facing him. “Are you completely insane?!”

“Maybe I am but what I did, it’s my problem.” He got closer to her. “Now, come with me. We need to treat those wounds you have.” He said touching her cheek where there was a wound.

“I can treat myself.” She said, moving away from his touch. “You don’t have to do anything more for me.” Jean rolled his eyes.

“You know what?” He said, focusing his eyes on her once again. “I don’t care, you are coming with me, I’m treating that wound of yours, then you will take a shower and eat something. You get it?”

“But… you’re so stubborn.” She said pressing her lips together, making a thin line. “What if you’re a pervert?”

“Would you believe me if I said I’m not?”

“No.”

“Then you will have to trust me. I won’t do anything to you, I just want you to be okay. That’s all.”

“You don’t even know my name. Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.” Then he looked at the left. “He would have done the same.” His words came out as whispered, difficult to hear but she did hear them.

She remained silent, looking now at his back. Why is he really helping me? She wondered.

She ended up accepting, because it really seems like he is worried and wants to help her. They both walk side by side, going through the less crowded streets to avoid suspicious people. None of them says anything, he just keeps walking, being followed by her. They both walked for a few more minutes until they arrived at the building where they entered. He must live here.

“You can make yourself comfortable.” He says letting her enter the place.

She nods and enters, the place feels comfortable and warm.

“I will go for the things to treat your cheek… you can take whatever you want from the kitchen.” He says pointing to the kitchen.

“Thank you…” She said and before he leaves she warns him. “And don’t forget, I won’t hesitate on killing you if you try something.”

He laughs and leaves the room. That girl…

“Captain Levi is going to kill me after he finds out what I did.” He spoke to himself while searching for the stuff. “Fuck, I really fucked up this time.” He sighed and grabs the kit from the shelves.

Jean made his way back to the living room and there she is, sleeping.

“I can’t believe her.” He whispered with a smile on his face. “You really fall asleep in a strangers place?” He sayid knowing no one will answer him.

He gets closer to her and looks at her face. She looks so peaceful like that. He shook those thoughts out of it.

“Hey stubborn girl.” He shook her.

She woke up startled and ready to punch him on the face. If it wasn’t because Jean had fast reflexes, he would’ve probably ended up with a purple eye.

“Hey! Easy.” Jean said, still holding her hand.

“Shit.” She said and took her away from Jean’s. “I fell asleep… fuck.” She whispered.

“It’s okay. You looked tired anyways.” Jean tried to calm her down.

“It’s not okay… I was reckless and I shouldn’t get so comfortable with someone I don’t know.”

“My name is Jean.”

“Why are you telling me your name?”

“You said you didn’t know me, well I’m introducing myself.” He gave her a faint smile.

“Still… you could…”

“I could what? Listen, I’m not going to give you in alright?”

“I… I can not believe that, you marleians, you lie so easily. You probably made a call when I fell asleep and the police are already coming for me.” She stood and started walking around the room.

Jean could see how her body was shaking from fear of the possible outcomes. He knew that telling her his real identity was risky, hell it was so fucking risky but he needed to tell her. Jean stood from the sofa and took her by the arm, making her stop walking. The stubborn, angry, defensive girl was nowhere to be seen at that moment, everything Jean could see right there was a scary, vulnerable girl.

“Please… I know I was rude and an asshole. But let me go… I… I need to go back home, please.” She started to silently cry. “I swear I will never come back, you will never see me again. I swear but please let me go.”

“Hey please calm down.” Jean tried to comfort her. “I’m not turning you in. I am… I am also an Eldian okay?”

She looked at him, shocked. What was he saying? No no no no if he was an eldian too, it meant he was also risking his life? Why? Why?

“Hey.” Jean spoke again. “Stop overthinking.”

“Why would you do what you did, you idiot?” She said and punched him on the chest.

“Here she is again.”

“Don’t laugh, why are you laughing idiot. You’re fucking risking your life for a stranger like me. I don’t understand, I truly don’t. Is it because I kissed you? You’re one of those perverts? But fuck… if they find out not only you are helping me but that you are also an Eldian, they will kill you and all because of me… Again, it’s happening again.”

Jean saw how something broke on her after the last sentence. She fell to the floor, crying and repeating, it’s happened again, again. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to make her feel safe, to make her understand that nothing was going to happen to her or him, that whatever she was thinking was not going to happen. He kneeled in front of her and embraced her, she tensed at first but then she continued sobbing into his chest.

“I’m sorry…” Jean heard her whisper.

“Listen, angry girl. Nothing is going to happen to me or to you. I promise.”

“Don’t do that…” She said. “Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep. Please.” She looked at him, still with tears rolling down her face.

“I will try my best to keep the promise…” He said, whipping her tears away. “Now, let me treat your wound.”

She nodded and sat next to Jean on the sofa. Jean put the kit on the table and took out the necessary stuff he needed to treat her wound. He had treated thousands of wounds since he joined the survey corps years ago, he knew how to do it but this time was afraid of hurting her. The wound wasn’t really that big but still he didn’t want her to suffer anymore. Once he was done he put everything back on the bag and turned around to look at her once again. Her eyes were still red and so was her nose.

“You want to eat something?”

“No. I really need to leave and go back home.” She said not looking at Jean.

“It’s already dark outside, it will be dangerous if someone sees you alone at night.”

“It’s… it’s okay, it wouldn’t be the first time I sneak out in the middle of the night.”

Jean thought for a moment. “I will go with you.”

“Wait… no no, you already did enough.” She stood following Jean’s footsteps. “You saved my ass twice today and you’re an Eldian too, it would be dangerous if a police stopped us and they asked us for our documents. We would be…”

“Hey.” He turned around and looked at her eyes. “Trust me okay? It will be alright, I will take you home, safe and sound.”

She stayed silent, observing each one of his movements and trying to understand why that man, named Jean and an Eldian like her, was helping her. No Eldian is willing to help another one if it means risking the little freedom they have and yet, the man she had in front of her was risking everything for her, someone who was an asshole that treated him poorly since the first minutes their destinies crossed paths.

“For more that I try to understand, I just can’t comprehend why are you doing all this.”

“Maybe you enchanted me with that kiss.” Jean passed next to her with a smirk on his face.

“Now you’re flirting? Is that what you want from me? To fuck me?” She angrily asked.

“Wait no no no no.” Jean shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong okay? It’s true that I couldn’t get the kiss out of my head, because it took me by surprise but I’m not doing this because I want to fuck you. I’m doing this because I think you desperately need someone to give you a hand. I’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Okay… sorry it’s just that… it’s not easy.”

“To trust someone?”

“Yeah…”

“I understand but try to trust me okay.” She nodded, still hesitant but with a feeling in her chest that made her believe his words. “Okay, put this on, it will be cold outside and like that we can cover you up, so those assholes don’t recognize you.” He grabbed the jacket and gave it to her, it smelled like him. “It looks gigant on you.”

“Maybe because you’re like two meters tall?” She said looking at the jacket and then at him.

“Almost two meters.” She rolled her eyes and tried to hide the smile on her face.

“Idiot…”

“You know, you can call me by my name, Jean. And by the way, you still haven't told me yours.”

“That’s right but I’m not telling you. Not yet.”

“And what should I call you then?” He tilted his head.

She was about to respond when a knock on the door made her freeze. She could feel her whole body trembling. Did he lie to you? It was the police, he called them?

“Look at me.” And she did, those honey eyes were looking at her and for some reason she knew right there, that he didn’t call them, that he didn’t lie and that she could believe him. “It’s probably my neighbor, so don’t worry, okay?” She nodded and watched him walk to the door.

She saw how he smiled to the person on the other side of the door and how politely talked to them.

“Jean, I heard a woman's voice earlier, are you finally settling down?” Jean laughed, he wished he could but in his position it was impossible.

“It’s not like that Miss Aldrich.”

“C’mon! Let me meet the girl.” Jean tried to stop her.

“Miss Aldrich I don’t think that’s a good idea, she…” C’mon Jean think about something.

“Oh I get it, yeah you two were having fun, alright Jean boy, I will leave you. Hopefully this old building will soon have new people.” And she left.

Jean sighed in relief, he loved Miss Aldrich and was a good woman but he couldn’t risk anything at that moment.

“Bee.” Jean heard from the other side of the room.

“What?”

“Call me Bee.”

Jean nodded at Bee and she gave him a faint smile. Bee didn’t know why she was willing to tell him her name but something inside her told her to do it, that it was okay.

“Okay, Bee. We should get going, so you can go back home.” Bee looked at him, he was offering his hand. “It will be easier if we pretend that we are a couple, if they stop us I will just show my ID.”

“But you…” She wanted to tell him if he was insane, if he lost his mind. But Jean winked an eye at her, making her heart race.

“I have a fake one, don’t worry, okay?”

“Okay…”

Bee held his hand and they both got out of the apartment. Jean held her tightly but gently, afraid of hurting her, afraid of someone taking her away. They needed to be careful, but the night was already coming so it was going to be easier for them to go unnoticed.

They walked the streets, like a normal couple would do, not making themselves notice. It wouldn’t be true to say Jean’s heart wasn’t racing like crazy, he was nervous about the possibility of getting caught and holding Bee’s hand wasn’t something that was helping. He couldn’t deny that she was beautiful, breathtaking to be more exact. But he couldn’t think about her that way, no, he needed to take her to her home and then hope she would be able to live a normal life, while he kept searching for Eren. That’s what was going to happen and they wouldn’t see each other anymore.

Bee moved beside Jean, guiding him in the direction of her house. From time to time she would look at him, he was serious, looking around, making sure no one would come for her and not letting her hand go. It made her feel secure, protected, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. It almost made her cry in that instant.

Both of them kept walking for a little longer, leaving the most crowded streets behind, almost leaving the city behind. Bee stopped when they reached a small neighborhood, with old houses and almost no light.

“It’s here…” She said letting Jean’s hand go, feeling emptiness when she did it.

“Oh…” Jean looked around and nodded. “Alright…” he swallowed.

“I guess… it's a goodbye.”

“I guess so.” Jean played with his feet. “Are you sure you will be alright?” He looked at her with worried eyes.

Bee swallowed and blinked, trying not to throw herself to him and cry saying that nothing would be alright, that she was afraid and ask him again why everyone viewed them as monsters, why couldn’t see feel safe like she did with him. But she didn’t and she simply smiled at him.

“I will be. Thank you again.”

Jean nodded and they both stayed looking at each. Jean knew he should turn around and walk away, forget about her, forget about that whole day, go back to his life but something wasn’t letting him move, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to move away.

“I think… I will be heading home.” She whispered and started to walk away.

“Wait!” Jean held her hand and made her turn around. “If you… if you ever need anything, just look out for me okay?” She nodded. “Jean Kirstein.”

“I will Jean. Thank you…”

And with that, they both walked away, with a heavy heart and the feeling of a missing piece on it. They met for less than 24 hours but none of them wanted to leave each other. Bee for a moment considered going back to him, asking him to take her away from that place, for them to pretend they were monsters but she couldn’t do that to someone she hardly knew but desperately wanted to know. Jean on the other hand, would have everything for her, for a girl that cornered him, the girl that was so stubborn, the girl that despite looking so strong was so broken, if she only asked to.

But they didn’t say anything and they both saw each other for the last time that night. Bee kept surviving and trying not to get caught, while Jean kept searching for Eren and distracting himself so he wouldn’t think about her.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

It was April, Jean’s birthday, thinking about it he never thought he would make it to his 20s after joining the survey corps. But there he was in a small bar near the refugee camp with Connie, drinking beer and chatting. After the Rumbling and everything falling apart live has been going too fast, it seemed like they couldn’t stop for a single moment, the attack on Liberio, then the rumbling, then helping those who were still alive, try to find peace. Hell they didn’t even properly mourn Sasha, Hange or even Eren, like they deserved, back then. He didn’t even have time to try and reach his mom and let her know that he was alright. He even thought about Bee, did she make it through the rumbling? Was she saved?

Although he met her for less than 24 hours, her memory was still on his head and he wished he could see her once again, at least to know she was okay.

He turned around to look at Connie, who was heavily drunk and dancing, although there was no music on. Jean smirked, he was grateful he had Connie with him and to have these stupid moments with him.

“C’mon Connie, let’s go home.” Jean stood and held Connie’s arm.

“Why? C’mon Jeanboy! It’s your birthday! You are entering your 20s, let’s celebrate it!” Connie went to the dance floor once again, ignoring Jean and forgetting about everything.

Jean sat back on his seat and sighed looking at his best friend. It was good that at least Connie was enjoying himself, but it was going to be a pain in the ass bringing him back home.

He simply stayed there, looking at his best friend, while with each drink he wandered in his thoughts. Two hours later they were kicked out of the place. Jean didn't think he was completely drunk, but his head hurt and he knew that tomorrow would be a hard day. He grabbed Connie's arm and dragged him to the place they now called home.

“You seemed to need help.” A female voice spoke, while Jean was trying to open the door.

“It’s okay, I can do it.” Jean responded without looking at the woman standing next to him.

“Let me help you.” She said and took Jean’s keys from his hands. “I own you one.” She whispered.

Jean blinked, trying to focus his gaze on the woman but he couldn't, everything was double for him.

“I don’t think… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay Jean… hopefully tomorrow you will feel better.” Jean saw how she started to walk away. “I’m glad you’re alive Jean.”

And with that the woman went away, leaving Jean confused and with Connie already sleeping on the floor. He moved him and started walking to their dorms, kicking Connie into his dorm and letting him fall on the couch. He covered his face with his arms, trying to make the headache stop but it was useless. He once again tried to think about the woman, tried to remember her face, but it was impossible, his vision had been too blurry, but something in her voice had seemed familiar. Jean finally fell asleep on the couch and it wasn't until the next morning that he woke up due to Armin waking him up.

“You should try and sleep on your own bed.” Was the first thing Armin had told him.

“Mhmm… I know mom.” Jean grunted, scratching the back of his neck. “Fuck my head hurts.”

“No wonder why, you and Connie had some fun last night.” He said, giving him a cup of water.

“Not every day you turn 20 you know?” Jean drank from the cup.

“A woman asked me about you.” Armin walked to the kitchen.

Jean blinked and stood up, following him. “A woman?”

“Yeah… she asked me about you this morning.”

“She told you her name or something?”

“No, just asked me if I knew you.” Armin shrugged. “Did you hook up with a woman? Jean we are on diplomatic…”

“Wait what? No. No I haven’t hooked up with…”

“Jean hooked up with someone?” Connie appeared in the kitchen.

“Connie… you were literally sticking your tongue inside on everyone’s mouth last night.”

“Hey! Don’t expose me like that bro.” Connie cried.

Jean rolled his eyes. “Where did you see her?” Said looking back at Armin.

“On the market, she was shopping.”

Jean nodded and without a word he left, he started walking across the streets, looking for the girl he met in Liberio. It had to be her, it had to be Bee, she survived and she was there, looking for him. Jean kept walking, looking everywhere, but who assured him that Bee would still be in that market? He reached the end of the market without any success, sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. He turned around and started walking in the direction of his house. Maybe today was not the day he was supposed to run into Bee, but they were both in that place so at some point they would meet.

“Hey big boy!” Jean stopped walking. “Are you sober already?”

Jean turned around and there she was. “Bee…” His feet started to move on their own and when he realized he was embracing Bee in his arms.

“Wow big boy, careful. You are much bigger than me.” She laughed.

“I’m sorry… I’m.” He broke the hug and looked at her. She was still beautiful. “You’re alive.”

“I am and so are you.” She smiled. “I heard you are some kind of hero.”

“I wouldn’t call it that. But… Bee I’m so glad to see you are okay. I…”

“Me too. I saw you a few weeks ago and felt so relieved, strange isn’t it? We met for less than 24 hours and only knew each other's names but somehow, I couldn’t keep you out of my mind and when the whole rumbling happened, I prayed to meet you again… Oh god, you must think I’m crazy or something.”

“No, no, I mean, I kinda felt the same and… maybe now we could get to know each other better. Grab some coffee or tea or whatever you want, I don’t mind. And only if you want of course.”

“Jean, are you flirting?” She raised an eyebrow without hiding her smile.

“I mean… maybe? Would you be bothered if I did?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Coffee sounds good.”

“Good. Should we go now or are you busy?”

“Now it’s alright.” She started walking.

They both started walking side by side, slowly and enjoying the sun of the day and each other’s company and presence. Jean was beyond excited and happy, to know she was okay and that she seemed happy, despite the whole world went to shit. He didn’t regret hugging her right after seeing her for the first time, he really needed to do it and it just felt right.

He never believed in those stories of someone falling in love with another one at first sight, he used to think it was unreal and stupid. That was until that day in Liberio, after weeks passed by he tried convincing himself that his stupid self only felt like that because Bee stole his first kiss, but as much as he wanted to believe it was because of the kiss that she was still on his head, he couldn’t. He really fell for her just by seeing her and spending some hours with her.

“Is this place okay for you?” She pointed.

“Yeah… it’s okay.” He nodded.

And they both sat on one of the tables of the coffee shop, Each one ordered something to drink and waited in silence until it was brought to them. Bee watched through the window at the people passing by, from one side to the other, while Jean looked at her profile and admired her beauty. He was thankful that none of her friends were around her, otherwise she knew she would have them making fun of her for days.

“So… how, how did you get out?” Bee turned to look at Jean after hearing his voice. “I mean, away from the rumbling.”

“Oh… it wasn’t easy but after that weird message, something inside of me told me we had to get the hell out of there. So we took the last train that was leaving, most people weren’t eldians so they had no clue what was going on, so it was easy to sneak into one of them. After that, when the… the titans started to show up, I prayed to be safe and we were saved. A couple of weeks later we ended up here and that’s it.”

“You said we, you weren't alone?”

“No, my nephew was with me.” She drank her coffee. “It’s just me and her now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, if it wasn’t because you saved me that day from those people I wouldn’t have been able to go back home to her.” She smiled.

“It was nothing, really.” He shook his head. “I’m glad, both of you are okay. I need to know something, why did you risk yourself back then?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you kissed me to get away from those policemen.”

“Oh that.” She looked down and smiled. “Something told me it had to be you. I guess it was right after all.”

Bee and Jean continued talking for hours, about everyday things, Jean told her about Paradise and Bee told her about her niece, her sister. Even when Bee had to leave to look for her niece, Jean accompanied her and continued listening to each of her stories carefully, without missing any detail of what Bee told her. Upon arriving at the school where Bee's niece was, Jean stood in front of her and took a breath.

“Would you go out with me?” Jean slowly spoke, meeting her gaze. “As a date, I mean.”

Bee's heart skipped a beat and she felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach. His honey gaze made her nervous and those words were making her even more nervous. With Jean she had felt security, protection and tranquility, but she knew there had been something more and her heart beat for it, she had liked him a lot. Very much. But the thought of never even seeing him again or anything happening between them had long since disappeared. Until a week ago she saw him again and her heart raced again like that time in her apartment. Bee licked her lips and looked first at her worn shoes and then at Jean's gaze. Maybe this was the destiny telling her that finally she was going to be happy.

“I would love to.” She smiled and so did Jean.

[warrioronce]

Hi hello there!

First of all, I’d like to say that this sideblog will eventually become a rp blog for Reiner Braun ( anime based ). As of right now, I’ll mostly be seeking out rp partners via discord.

What I’m looking for is some Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin roleplay.

I have years of rp experience, and tend to write medium to longer length replies. Literate too, but I’m not strict about anyone’s grammar or style. I prefer to write third person, and hope my partners will as well. I’m in my 30s, so keep that in mind. I prefer at least 18 of age, due to graphic themes in the roleplays (gore, angst, spice if applicable ). I’m all for NSFW themes so long as it isn’t simply smut without any kind of plot.

I prefer writing canon characters, and while I’d rather also write with canons, OCs are not out of the question. If I vibe with the character and the idea, I’m happy to explore it. I have a lot of favorite ships, but please feel free to mention a character you’d prefer to play if it isn’t on the ‘wanted ship’ list. It doesn’t have to be a romantic roleplay. It can be platonic, a one sided pining, toxic - whatever, so long as we both agree to it.

Full list of Characters I am interested in playing: BOLD who I am most interested in writing.

Reiner Braun

Levi Ackermann

Erwin Smith

Bertholdt Hoover

Zeke Jeager

Eren Jaeger

Armin Arlelt

Porco Galliard

Annie Leonhart

Miche Zacharius

Marco Bodt

Falco Grice

Hange Zoe

Jean Kirschtein

Ships I’m most interested in: Bold being who i’d prefer to play.

Reiner x Bertholdt

Levi x Erwin

Reiner x Galliard

Reiner x Eren

Armin x Annie

Armin x Eren

Miche x Erwin

Miche x Hange

Hange x Levi

Erwin x Zeke

Marco x Jean

Bertholdt x Annie

Mikasa x Eren

Zeke x Levi

Levi x Eren

Conny x Reiner

I’m down for discovering other ships. These are just suggestions of what I love, in case you do too. Again, doesn’t have to be romantic or NSFW heavy, but here are my primary interests. I’m down for exploring different dynamics, etc.

I love aus, I love a wide variety of different tropes and ideas, so let don’t be afraid to message me on my primary account: americanasitgets in case i don’t see a response on this message.

[beezlub]

Requests Information; ♡ requests will be done on a first come, first serve basis! ♡ i do have a right to refuse any requests that i personally do not feel comfortable doing ♡ i can write OCs if commissioned, but any requests sent through my inbox will be X Reader to make them more applicable to readers alike

what i write; ♡ X Reader primarily ♡ romance, fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers, smut*. basically anything under the sun tbh ♡ *smut is a rare thing i will write for a request. i will write it for characters i know are canonically of-age. i will though, write nsfw headcanons of under 18 characters, but not the actual act itself (if that makes sense) ♡ AUs & canon ♡ M/M, M/F, F/F ♡ feel free to add in any details you'd want!! (ex; hogwarts legacy; fem reader, hufflepuff, song 'yellow' by coldplay, sebastian and reader go on their first date to hogsmeade and they end up dancing in the snow under the fairy lights in the plaza). make it as detailed as you want, or give me free reign lolol

what i will NOT write; ♡ heavy gore ♡ furry related stuff ♡ fandoms i am not currently in ♡ school papers

fandom list; ♡ Hogwarts Legacy - Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt, Garreth Weasley, Poppy Sweeting, Anne Sallow, Imelda Reyes, Amit Thakkar, Aesop Sharp ♡ Attack on Titan - Levi Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirschtein, Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Hanji Zoe, Connie Springer, Pieck Finger, Sasha Braus, Erwin Smith ♡ My Hero Academia - Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Hitoshi Shinsho, Ejiro Kirishima, Tamaki Amajiki ♡ Genshin Impact - Albedo, Alhaitham, Beidou, Cyno, Diluc, Zhongli, Jean, Kazuha, Ayaka, Ayato, Kaveh, Keqing, Lisa, Neuvillette, Ningguang, Ei, Childe, Tighnari, Traveler, Xiao, Yae ♡ Honkai Star Rail - Asta, Blade, Bronya, Dan Heng, March 7th, Gepard, Himeko, Jing Yuan, Kafka, Luka, Luocha, Natasha, Sampo, Seele, Trailblazer, Welt ♡ Stranger Things - Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Johnathan Byers ♡ Haikyuu!! - Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kuroo, Kenma, Oikawa, Issei, Iwazumi, Bokuto, Ushijima, Satori, Atsumu, Osamu ♡ Baulder's Gate 3 - Astarion, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Gale, Halsin ♡ Stardew Valley - Abigale, Alex, Elliot, Emily, Haley, Leah, Maru, Penny, Sam, Sebastian, Shane ♡ Yellow shaded fandoms are the ones i'm active the most in at the moment! ♡ Listed are the characters I'd write anytime! If there isn't a character listed that you want, feel free to ask in your request! There is a minimal amount of characters from these fandoms that I won't write for lolol.

thank you for reading all of this! if you wanna request something, please do! i love writing for all of you and including all the little details you guys ask for. if you're interested, just go to my little asks/reqs box and type away to your heart's content!