#jess-total-mess

[daily-grian]

embroidered grian based on this doodle

THIS IS SO COOL

[theminecraftbee]

I’ve been combing for like twenty minutes but is there a link to the main hermitcraft host stream? I want to watch all the permitmaster but i can only find jimmy and martyn and such, not the actual host stream. Sorry

the actual host feed is normally on scar's channel! i know it's currently showing the host feed! it also will be on the channels of any hermits who aren't showing their own pov.

[dreamhot]

I am also not watching stream, just watching the live reactions in discord. Much swearing.

basically yes i am reading the server liveblogging and feeling years slip off my life

[dreastmilk]

akira if you like size difference fic, let me introduce you to one of my favourite dream team authors, peanut! (you might have heard of them before)

@negativepeanuthoarder has written a few fics with the premise of size difference, these are all SFW :P (hence why im such a fan, asexual nation rise up) (mostly dreamnap but i didnt even notice the first few times if thats not ur thing, you can read them either way)

Were woof (sapnap cuddles with werewolf dream)

Snuggle me please? (sapnap steals dreams oversized clothes)

Height Difference (the most shippy but also the longest)

I'm subbed to peanuts ao3 A) because of the sfw size difference that isnt about dick sizes and B) because of the AUs (theres a vampire one!) <3

omg hello again peanut! ironically i think you've misunderstood what i meant by that post but i appreciate the fic recs regardless! thanks jess jess <33

[dtblrlove]

@jess-total-mess you are my dearest friend whom I love writing fun little self-inserts with and screaming about random fandom nonsense. I will always appreciate your wit and charm.

May the next year be filled with even more fun little fanfics and sending memes to each other :D

💌 @jess-total-mess

[x-i-l-verify]

Oh. Stars. Girl, I read the first two chapters of the big bang and I commented but—okay I’m trying to be more social, just bear with me—fifteen chapters prewritten of dream-centric au fic where there’s no Tommy and I get my angst? Where he’s not the villain? Sister, I could cry, this is perfect!!!

I love how you made Skeppy just so small! (I’m a sucker for size difference stuff!) And I want to hug Dream and hiss at George and Co. like a demented gargoyle (god I love that descriptor, demented gargoyle) because NO! That’s my GUY! He’s doing his BEST and you better be NICE mister! Or I’m coming for YOU!

I have subscribed and I probably won’t end up commenting much but this fic is shaping up to be something that I’m downloading the moment it’s finished so no matter what happens I can read it and enjoy it forever!

Eeeeeeee! Okay, some of my FAVOURITE pieces from the first two chapters;

“If you finish that sentence, I will stab you,” Ponk said pleasantly.

I get so much joy from bits like this; threat said sweetly or pleasantly or kindly or whatever. The sheer differnece between the threat and the way it’s spoken; also, when stuff like this is used to create humour, I also love that, but here it’s the idea of Ponk smiling with all his teeth and speaking very plainly and laying out what he’ll do and by all accounts he’s being nice but there’s that threat!!!

“Oh, bite me, Techno,” Sapnap snapped.

“Would rather not, thanks. Who knows where you’ve been?” 

The implication that Sapnap is like a stray dog who might have rabies is so fucking funny, and is absolutely something I can picture Technoblade saying. It’s just the perfect response to what Sapnap has said, and is perfectly in character! Also, right after this you mention that Skeppy is perched on Technoblade’s shoulder and UGH anything that reminds the reader of a size difference will have my heart. Always. (Look this isn’t a kink, I just really, really enjoy it, okay?)

Anyway, I WILL be reading all thirteen chapters the moment I see that they’re published, and while I can’t promise any more comments (I am scatteredbrained little bish) I just wanted you to know this fic is epic!

You say you're not good at commenting, but bro, this is the kind of feedback fic writers write for, no lie and no joke. ಥ﹏ಥ tysm for reading and taking the time to let me know how much you liked the story and what parts really stood out to you. <3 <3 <3

Dream needs many hugs, you are correct. He will need a great deal more by the time the story is over. U_U

Tiny Skeppys are the best Skeppys! This is fact. I am glad you agree. UvU

That part with Ponk was really fun to write, actually, glad you liked it!

c!Techno is a joy to write forever and always, mmhm. He provides most of this fic's comedic relief, it would probably get too bleak without him tbh. c!Orphan Trio are criminally underrated and deserve more moments together yessss.

Again, tysm for dropping by! <3 <3 I would of course love if you continued to drop me a line here and there as the fic goes on if you felt so inclined, but do not feel pressured. ^^d If you're worried about not writing a good enough comment, though, I can assure you that you're already doing a swell job. :D I want to print this out and hang it on my wall. *mwahs your forehead gently*

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: No tweets

[at JK Rowling's Scottish castle] JK Rowling: Ha ha! Look at me! I'm possting on the internet! Rowling: "esstrogen turns normal men into rampaging ape beastss!" agent: joanne! stop! agent: you're posting too close to the sun! Rowling: "Gamer ssockss are AGP!"

Rowling: ha ha no one can ssstop me! Rowling: I'm JK fuckin' Rowling! Rowling: I'm a beautiful animal!! Rowling: watch this, i'm gonna poke imane khelif with thisss ssstick agent: joanne! no! Rowling: don't worry, itss a really long ssstick Rowling: i'll be fine!

Rowling: [poking imane khelif with stick] ha ha you like that, you liminal creature? you congenital eunuch? ha ha what are you gonna do about it? Khelif: that's it! Khelif: you've woke the dragon, now prepare to feel her breath!

Rowling: ha ha what're you gonna do? hit me with your massssive tessstosterone fissstss? Khelif: you and me, rowling! three rounds! sudden death match in the arena... Rowling: haha Khelif: the arena of the legal system! Rowling: Rowling: uh oh

Khelif: i'm taking you to court Rowling: Rowling: Rowling: [sweats] wayon jennings narrative voice: now ol' joanne's got herself in a heap o' trouble. how's that dang ol' snake gonna slither her way outta this mess?

JK Rowling: [shoving documents into a shredder] quick! ssshred it all!! shred fucking everything! Julie Bindel: but dark lord what should we tell your followers?! Bindel: they'll be expecting some patented jk rowling hot takes! Rowling: i don't know, jusst sstall them!!!

[mysterious circle of robed figures] Bindel: i've called this meeting to come up w a reason why the dark lord isn't tweeting Kathleen Stock: maybe we can say she's getting her castle fumigated? Bindel: no we used that when she posted the 'no toilets in hogwarts' tweet

Jesse Singal: oo! oo! i've got one! Singal: what if we say that 'having achieved all of her goals and ambitions, she has decided to retire forever' Bindel: no no that won't work Stock: could we just say that she's brumating?

Kathleen Stock: wait! what if we said she's on vacation? Bindel: hmm i like it! Stock: we could even embellish it with plausible details for additional verisimilitude! Bindel: like that she's... eating vodka-infused candy floss! Stock: exactly! that's very believable!

[midnight society] Barker: interesting, joanne hasn't tweeted in like 2 weeks Barker: seems kind of unusual King: oh i'm sure it's nothing Barker: looks like she's actually deleting tweets King: oh King: huh King: i wonder what that's all about?

Julie Bindel: [rising from bushes] ACTUALLY Jk rowling is actually on a jolly vacation right now so that's why she's not tweeting Bindel: it has nothing to do with any lawsuit! it's totally legit! King: where's she vacationing? Bindel: she's visiting her girlfriend in canada

Bindel: see, i have this postcard right here that she sent saying that she's having a great time on her vacation in vacationia and she's too busy to tweet! Barker: hey can i see that postcard? Bindel: um Bindel: no

Bindel: joanne says that she's having too much fun eating vodka-infused candy floss to be transphobic right now King: wow! i don't think i've ever seen her have THAT much fun before! King: this vodka-infused candy floss must be lit!

Barker: so you're telling me Barker: that jk rowling is right now drunk on vodka-infused candy floss Barker: a product which i am definitely sure exists and is real Barker: and being drunk has made her less vocally transphobic? Bindel: Bindel: [sweats] yes

[seattlesellie]

Jealous. 🎀

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

cw: mean dom!ellie sub!reader, jealous kinda toxic ellie, eating it through the panties, orgasm denial, spit play (literally spits down ur panties like), exhibitionism, some dude named michael.

an: pls be gentle, i haven’t written in a long time! 💗 credit to angel gbc for the mod used in the picture above <3

something we can all agree on is the importance of aftercare — right?

Ellie is big on that obviously, as she should. Caressing her slim fingers down your body, planting wanton kisses on your shoulders, running her palms across your shaky thighs, whispering words of encouragement in your ear;

“Did so good for me, babe”

“I love you, so much”

“Need anything? hm?” She’d murmur against your skin whilst cradling your body from behind.

And she always insists on cleaning you up. She consistently renders you nothing but an achy mess, dried up juices staining your wobbly jelly thighs, combined sweat on your breasts and ribs, back of your neck. The ritual of bringing a wet towel to bed, swiping it’s fabric across your inner thighs, your face, your behind — is a sacred one for her. Not solely because she loves hearing your sweet, exhausted sighs of relief as she cleans the soil away, but also not solely because she gets to see your naked body in all of its glory again.

It’s the act of taking care of what’s hers. In a way, when she wipes your cum away, she’s taking care of herself — too.

Here, lays a solid proof that she can break things apart and put them back together again. She’s not a total fucking fuckup.

The ability of making you scream and cry, then moments later have you whisper in that saccharine voice of yours an airy “love you s’much, Els…”

It’s fucking exhilarating.

She loves it every time, she does it every time.

But today… today you pissed her off. You poked the bear, for real this time.

There’s this new Michael guy in Jackson. He’s handsome, tall, has coal black curls that somehow stay soft and shiny even in this apocalyptic hellscape. He told Ellie and you where he was from, what he did, why he came. Ellie didn’t listen to a thing he was saying. It was like he turned into a fly and started loudly buzzing in her ear. He kept looking at you weird. Smiling at you, smirking, laughing at your jokes, even the ones that weren’t all that funny. She knows you have this affect on people, that damn charm, hell — you have this affect on her.

And she’s usually just playfully jealous, manages to keep it relatively tame and simple by tightening her grip on your waist.

But you just wouldn’t stop bringing him up. “Michael” this, and “Michael” that, “Michael invited us for dinner”, “Michael said this funny thing earlier”,

For all Ellie knows Michael could die in a ditch and she wouldn’t give a fuck.

You're on your way back home from the Tipsy Bison on a chilly Thursday night. Jesse was there, Dina, Maria... and Michael. She thinks of his name and it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, tart, pungent.

"Meh, I'm more of a Tequila girl, Whiskey tastes like shit" you announced with a giggle. Michael rested his hand on your thigh, and agreed with a nod and a chuckle. For you, it meant nothing.

For Ellie, it meant everything.

Her blood pressure was usually low, steady, healthy as a bull. As of now, Ellie felt like she just ran a marathon. The blood rushed to her head and her brows furrowed without intention. She cracks her neck and moves it left and right, takes a long and burning sip out of her Whiskey and shuts her eyes. She repeats a mantra in her head; "I'm not angry, I'm not angry, It's fine."

But you're so damn intuitive.

"Els? y'tired?" you murmur towards your auburnette girlfriend. She suckles on her bottom lip and considers saying no, but she lies.

"Exhausted"

You leave the humble bar hand in hand, wrapped up in her big coat that smells of mint and wood and Ellie. She prays you won't mention his name, prays you could just go home and forget about this whole thing, but you do, innocently.

"Oh, Michael said one of the horses is sick, I'm thinking of helping out in the barn tomorrow an—"

She stops you mid sentence with a scoff and a tightening grip on your hand. "Oh, mhm, Michael said that?"

Her voice mocks your own a little.

You stop and shift your gaze towards Ellie who has her lips tucked in a tight line. Internally, she's cussing herself out. You don't deserve her anger, but she can't help herself. Your answer is an unsure hum. Her grip tightens even more, and it hurts your palm but you keep on walking side by side, quietly. Five minutes manage to pass with no words being muttered by no one. That's until she shakes her head and lets go of a husky chuckle.

"Did I do something?", you mutter doe eyed. Ellie stops in her tracks and inhales. She grabs you by your waist and walks towards you, making you have to clumsily pace backwards until your back meets a cold grey brick wall with a resounding thud. "Uhg!" You hiccup, breath catching down your throat. You even sweetly giggle, thinking in your head that this could possibly be just a sweet attack of PDA.

But her eyes are dark, gone from emerald to pine, pupils pitch black as big as a button. Her warm whiskey breath meets your nose and your top lip, you gulp. Why isn't she laughing? teasing?

"El?" your voice is still candied, always. Ellies mouth is agape, scarred eyebrows scrunched and furrowed as if she's confused, or pissed, or provoked. Her forehead meets yours so automatically, you attempt to connect your lips with a kiss but she backs away meanly. Albeit her taunting position, how intimidating and truly scary she looks whilst you're caged within her frame, your'e still smiling, you're still thinking she's just teasing.

You're not used to this, she knows, but god knows she yearns to teach you a lesson.

You don't fuck with what's hers.

She licks her bottom lip before she starts speaking.

"Take off your skirt"

Her voice nearly renders you drunk, It's huskiness, gruffness, it's depth, and really, you've only had one shot. Your cheeks heat up and your ears feel as if they're nearly burning. Her lips are so damn close to yours and she still won't let you kiss her.

"Wh... we're in public, we can't—" you stutter, eyes shifting downwards towards the knee she has shoved near your barely covered crotch. When she brings it upwards just to brush delicately on your inner thigh, you let go of a small gasp.

She responds to your gasp with a barely audible "Mhm?", her eyes sharpening with intent.

"Yes we can", she tsk's, and her voice taunts. Her eyes graze over your face, and you expect her next sentence to bite like the last one did, but her voice goes softer. "For me?", she cocks her head to the side.

And it simply pushes you over the edge.

You peel your skirt off of your body, asscheeks plastered over the brick wall as her body squeezes you further back, and you're left half naked with a piece of fabric scrunched below your knees, resting on your shoes. She eyes your body up and down, meeting your pleading and still confused eyes — and for a moment, thinks of just carrying you home and taking care of business once you get there. No jealousy, none of that.

But it's still bitter down her throat, and she can still picture his disgusting hand meeting your soft thigh, her soft thigh — as your body is hers, so that thought is ever so fleeting. It's either now or now.

Her cold as ice finger traces faint circles on your lower tummy, making the fine hairs of your body rise like soldiers. You whimper quietly as her finger snaps the elastic band of your panties and lets it smack down your pelvis. You rub your thighs together, but you're ever so pliant as she makes your legs spread wide with a boot covered foot opening up your calves like a gate.

She whispers in your ear. "Are you wet?", it makes you shiver.

"M'cold" you whine.

She scoffs.

She kneads your bra cup with her palm, squeezing an erect nipple with her thumb and middle finger. "Didn't ask that"

Her eyes meet your gaze and again she reconsiders this whole thing — because you truly look so needy, and your lips are so pouty and sweet and red with cold, you look as if you'd die if she didn't kiss you right now so how can she even be worried, let alone be jealous?

She knows how much you love her, how much you yearn for nobody but her, how her touch leaves you speechless time and time again.

But it's like something takes over, a dark figure, a figure that's thirsty and starving and wants to prove a thing it already knows.

It's an internal struggle, she doesn't want to be possessive,

She can't help it.

Your panties are striped with pink and white, and she looks at them as if they're the most expensive lace in the whole entire world. Her breathing gets heavier as she curls her fingers inside the cotton fabric, pupils darkening when she notices a sweet clear string of your arousal clinging from the entrance of your cunt to the bottom of your underwear.

She chuckles, followed by a sigh of relief that you notice. You are wet, right in the middle of the street where an innocent soul could catch you at any given moment. "Didn't answer cause you're shy?" She knows you so well. You bite your lip and nod, butterflies fighting in the pits of your stomach. A chaste kiss on the lips is all you get from her, and you deeply whine into the air. "At least kiss me!" you beg, — god, you're so cute when you're pissed.

Before landing on her knees, Ellie looks from side to side in order to check that there's truly nobody around, and no — not because she's scared to get caught, but because she'd die before she let someone see her girlfriend half naked with her skirt down her thighs.

Ellie is face to face with your quivering, pantie covered cunt. A wet patch greets her — a fuckin' pleasure, one she can't help but swipe her tongue across. Your choked up, terrified sound of a moan is a symphony to her hears, fuck Mozart. Her eager muscle of a tongue is so warm against your pussy you nearly forget it started snowing yesterday.

You buck your hips inwards, she groans. "No moving", she warns — simply to assert a dominance that has already been asserted. She kisses your little clit, coo's at the way it slightly pokes out of the fabric, erect and pumping on her tongue. "Ellie... Ellie... Ellie", you babble like a prayer, which she nods to. "S'my name, that's fuckin' right", she groans as her husky voice is muffled by your soaked panties.

"Ellie..." you repeat, thighs beginning to ache as you try and spread them further apart, almost sitting on her face.

Ellie, not Michael.

She smiles, greedy, triumphant.

She flicks her tongue on your clit, once, twice, three times before biting on your meaty pussy lips. You bite your knuckles in order to keep your voice down, but she glares up at you. "Do that again n'I swear to god I'm stopping" she growls.

You're not used to this side of her at all, but her voice makes your hole leak a small stream from deep inside. She feels it's wetness on her tongue, eyes closing in ecstasy as she audibly suckles your sweet, tangy, heavenly juices from the now sheer fabric. Her own spit runs down her chin, she doesn't even bother to wipe it off. All you can hear are your breathy, whiney moans, tiny begs of "take 'em off, please", regarding your panties, and Ellie's throaty groans. You're so wet from your own juices and her saliva it nearly gets uncomfortable, but then again you're so goddamn close to cumming.

You try taking matters to your own hands, attempting to peel off your panties from your waist with a shaky hand but she snarls and slaps your wrist away.

"Nuh uh, pussy's fuckin' mine, don't touch it"

With relentless sucking on your drenched clit, and soiled panties, she opens her eyes to merely glare at you again with a warning look. "When you're close, you let me know" she bites.

You don't respond.

A stinging slap meets your pussy, which makes your thighs shake, whole body jolt, and throat ache with a high pitched yelp.

"You're not listening" Ellie warns.

"You listen when I talk" she warns again. Her tongue meets your clit and it pushes it further and further up. You shake, eyesight gone blurry, you're close, you know it by the way the coil down your stomach threatens to snap, and by the way it tickles down there so damn bad.

"M'close" you brokenly wail.

She grunts deeply and stops completely. your heart nearly breaks, no no no no no. "Ellie, Ellie, Els, no!" You try and buck your hips forward but she holds you in place with an iron like grip. You buck them again and she peels off the fabric of your underwear, slightly rising up as she stares inside at the mess she made of you. There's a devilish smirk that creeps up from her lips, apple of one cheek rising. You let out a sigh of relief, thinking that perhaps she'll actually fucking eat you out properly instead of letting you suffer inside a warm, wet material of a mess that truly doesn't look like something wearable anymore. Instead, she audibly spits inside with a "Ptu'", letting the band snap shut. Her saliva mixes with your warm sleek. You're so confused she nearly feels bad, but she's such a cunt that she really doesn't.

"Were going back inside," she murmurs so casually as if she didn't just fuck you up in the middle of the street, as if her chin isn't shiny with your precum. "N'if Michael puts his hand on you again, I'm eating it in front of him"

[theshiniestgemstone]

what I think your relationship would be like with the family if you were dating gideon

pairing: gideon gemstone x fem!reader

shamlessly going to mention that this is kinda self insert, oops

jesse: oh i think he'd love you, but in a weird way that boosts his own ego. i feel like he'd pick on you a little bit (quickly chastised by amber, gideon or eli "leave gideon's poor girlfriend alone"), but he would 100% love being able to say my son's got a girlfriend and he's definitely marrying up. i think he'd cry if he thinks about you two settling down. he’s also the king of accidentally bonding with you over things like conspiracy documentaries and then refusing to admit it. I never said I liked that Flat Earth one, I was just watchin’ it to prove ‘em wrong. don't twist my words.

amber: based off of season 1, i feel like she definitely has a soft spot for gideon. once she realizes that you're really sticking around, i think she'd really like having a daughter-in-law and get all the things she missed out on with her boys. im talking shop 'til you drop, frozen yogurt, spa days, etc. you mention offhand that you like a candle she’s burning? she buys you three and a new sweater. you'd also be able to count on her to knock some sense into gideon if he's being stubborn.

eli: he's the one that gideon really wants to impress, so you're nervous the first time you meet him, afraid that you'll upset him, but he's so nice. the one time you end up sitting at a table alone, gideon and amber come back to find you and eli in literal tears from laughing so hard. he absolutely adores you because you make Gideon better. he’ll quietly pull you aside and tell you, I’m glad he found someone who really sees him. it reminds him of aimee-leigh taking a chance on him.

judy: gives you shit for a week and one day she stalks up, shoulders square and asks if you really love gideon. when you say yes, she tones down the insults and jabs. if you're the kind of person who can dish it back, you help her come up with complicated insults for her brothers. suddenly you’re bonding over iced coffee and she lets you borrow her clothes (I can't have you looking a mess next to me). she lets no one borrow her clothes.

bj: totally has no idea how to talk to you. he knows you're young, and kids like memes, right? he asks you about grumpy cat and impact font. you think he’s kidding until he shows you his meme folder, and it’s just Bad Luck Brian and he's in literal tears. after that, you have weekly internet lessons, vine comp watch parties, celeb gossip sessions, and a notebook full of modern slang. he hasn't quite made it to skibidi, but he loves "wtf is up kyle" and as an optometrist, iridociclytis. he also manages to use rizz in every context but the right one (he'd once said: who wants dessert? I’ve got rizz crispies!)

kelvin: ally. similar to BJ, i fear you'd keep him up to date and help him out with prism. kelvin is your ride or die. he calls you “babygirl” platonically and FaceTimes you from Sephora for opinions on moisturizer. he’s forever asking for help putting together his little fits for Sunday services, asking both you and keefe is this too much glitter or just enough Jesus?

keefe: ever the oddball, you walk away confused from every conversation with that man. in the moment you think you get it and you're nodding along, but the moment you're more than ten feet away from him, you're just absolutely lost. that being said, he knows the best indie films. he shows you one that changed his life. it's in nepali. you watch it without subtitles. you've never been the same.

pontious: that boy couldn't give less of a shit if he took one right then and there. you're the only person who he can beat in that racing game he and his brothers play. he acts like he doesn’t know your name even after a year of knowing you, but not in a mean way—in a “he literally doesn’t care enough to store the info” kind of way. you’ll walk past him and hear, Ay, Gideon’s lady… girl… woman. You want the rest of this Red Bull? he’s been drinking it for an hour. it’s warm. you politely decline.

abraham: the littlest of the gemstones is a tough nut to crack. he just stares at you at first. no words. no expression. just intense eye contact from across the room, like a little FBI profiler in a Minecraft hoodie. until you give him a share size pack of skittles and buy him mcdonalds when amber asked you to pick him up from practice on your way to the compound

baby billy: he immediately tries to ask if you have funds to help him get his christian based leisureware off the ground. i feel like you'd be one of the only people he would be able to take critiques from without an outburst. that being said, he did make you cry twice

aunt tiffany: you call her aunt tiffany right off the bat and she loves you immediately. she once helped you curl your hair before an event and you constantly have to set aside time when she comes to town to let her do some hairstyle on you.

[sweetimpurity]

You guys let me know if I’m crazy but-

Thinking about Miguel, the most stressed out man in the multiverse. Who sometimes has to order Lyla to leave him the fuck alone and turn off all the lights in his office. Jerking off in the pitch blackness because he can’t afford another spider person storming out of the society in the event of his outbursts. It’s like the only way he can relieve any stress, the only way to get some happy hormones pumping through his blood.

I’m telling you, this man schedules time out of his day to pleasure himself. Because if nothing else, he’s organized. Sweating and groaning like an animal in rut. It’s the only time his baritone voice cracks and becomes hoarse. When he’s bucking his hips up into his hand and practically pulling his own hair out with the other. Panting and moaning with countless expletives leaving his bitten lips. Sharp canines threatening to burst the soft skin there. A glowing blush over his cheeks when he’s done, leaning back in his chair, a mess in his hand and on the cold metal floor of his platform.

He’s doing it multiple times a day. Cursing and hating himself for it in the end. Feeling so guilty. Probably in part because of his Catholic upbringing. His angry clenched fist covered in his essence.

Imagine this time being before you even show up to HQ. He doesn’t even know you yet. And he’s jacking off everyday like a hormonal college freshman who just saw his first set of boobs. Because he’s just that wound up, that he needs that release or else he’ll burst and rip Peter B’s head off.

Some of it is thanks to his complicated genetics. Pulling him into rut and making him a total nightmare. The spider half of him begging to mate. The other part of it is the stress of the multiverse on his shoulders.

When you finally show up as one of Jess’ new recruits, oh, game. over. That same night he’s thinking of you and withering into a moany mess. He feels like a creep. Thinking about you, you’re young and beautiful and have no idea this beast of a man is pleasuring himself to your memory. And you’re sweet as can be when he finally gets to know you. Making it even worse for him. Now he can’t stop thinking of filling you up, taking you in every way he can imagine. Breeding you.

But he’s too busy to approach you about that sort of thing. Too hardened after all the years to let you in. Too miserable to do anything about it. You might think he hates you, but he’s thinking about you later on and cumming all over himself.

[safetypinned]

thumb idly traces the pattern on the kitchen counter--sam watches the swirls and marks slip underneath one side and appear out the other. thoughts drifting back and forth from one subject to another. a small smile curls the edges of his lips--weird how just waiting for someone to come home is an unabashed pleasure that he can still barely believe he's got. when he hears the door open--he slips around the corner and is there to meet her. "finally," he murmurs happily as she rids herself of what she's carrying--upon which he gives her a quick smooch to the cheek and goes about eyeing the smoothies remembering he's barely ate since breakfast. something else in mind. he shoots her a grin. playful and polished off with a wink. yeah he could have something else in mind..give him two seconds..if ya follow winkwink!

he picks up the beverage with his name on it instead--tossing her a quick glance as he unwraps the straw. "not bored. just too damn quiet. is it weird that i like waiting to see you walk into the room? doesn't matter which one. or," his nose crinkles--head tilts, "is that stalkery? it's stalkery, huh?" queue the quiet chuckle.

@safetypinned asked: [ 25. ] receiver returns home only to find sender already there. "finally." from the yellow sunrise meme !!

she's barely in the door and he's already right beside her. her bag is tossed from her shoulder beside the cup carrier she just set down on the table and then she's wrapping her arms around him and peppering his jaw with some kisses. ❝ finally?? i was only gone for one night. you know, i'm reeaally starting to think you have a crush on me or something. ❞ she's teasing him and yet her cheeks already burn from the smile stretching across her face. in moments like this it's almost easy to forget everything awful that's happened since he left to find his dad with dean. ❝ come on, i got us some smoothies. you can tell me all about how bored you were without me. unless you had something else in mind? ❞

[dreastmilk]

Bestie I have airplanes tomorrow! I’m going across the world! Imma be drugged for my anxiety! And he drops it THEN????? *sobbing*

HES DROPPING IT NEXT WEEK

[1-have-no-idea]

how they kiss you; part two

Pairing(s): 501st, implied fem reader

Overview: literally just how they kiss you. It’s literally just that.

Warning(s): Hardcase refers reader as ‘pretty mama’ at one point, cursing (in Mando’a and English), implied smut, descriptions of smut, yeah, basically just smut, tiiiiny bit of angst but it’s not

Word-count: I honestly did not count

Rex:

-OH YEAH

-why not start with our dear old captain first??

-just look at that smirk, you know this man would DEMAND kisses before any mission. It’s religious at this point

-well- I mean. Not in the beginning.

-Rex is a lover boy. Straight up.

-I mean, did you see his face when he stumbled onto Cut’s family?

-he’s a family man 😭

-so, he thinks you’re an absolute dream come true

-I mean, c’mon. A pretty partner? A loving partner? He loves you with all his damn heart, Maker.

-…buttttt, despite his love for you, he’s actually really shy. He doesn’t wanna mess up, or rush into anything.

-so, this translates into you having to kiss him first :/

-which, hey! That’s not bad whatsoever! Cuz guess what?

-YOU TOOK HIS FIRST KISS

-that’s something to remember. Especially for Rex.

-and for the first time, he actually does well!

-once he learns, he can’t stop.

-his kisses are firm. Real soft, though. Like he’s afraid if he kisses too hard, he’ll hurt you. Like he wants more but also wants to break the kiss and hold you instead.

-oh, but don’t worry

-you should see him when he’s all worked up

-he actually won’t use tongue, but he’ll use his tongue anywhere else (take that as you will.) As for kisses, they’re deep. God, you can guess what else is deep.

-he won’t come up for air. He’ll kiss you until y’all are breathless

-“Maker—- love you, love you s’much, mesh’la- take it- take it deeper f’me, haah—“

-yeah, ahem. So, that’s him.

———————————————————————————

Jesse:

-Good Lord

-so, uhm.

-this guy’s smooth. Really. Smooth.

-I’m pretty sure it’s canon that he goes to the 79’s, along with Kix, and well, with the people there and letting loose an all, it’s not that surprising that Jesse most likely has a body count

-at least like, two or three people he fucked in the refresher

-so, he’s experienced

-unlike Rex, he’s not shy

-he will GLADLY make out with you all day

-…once you two become a thing, and behind closed doors

-yes, even though Jesse’s a bit freaky and lowkey kinda a slut in the 79’s, once he meets you and actually well, gets with you

-he settles down

-due to how y’all are serious, he becomes more private. I mean, he definitely wants people to know he’s yours and you’re his, but he doesn’t want to flaunt you out there

-in the beginning, his kisses are hard. Demanding. Teasing, even. Tongue down your throat in seconds. Would literally always lead up to sex.

-but, as your relationship progresses and he realizes this isn’t just to get in his pants or anything, the kisses become softer

-more tender

-they don’t shorten, don’t misunderstand me, but they’re not demanding anymore. At least, not all the time

-this time, he kisses you because he loves you

-he kisses you because he really can’t know when the last time he’ll be able to

-he kisses you because he wants you to know how much you mean to him

-it’s a lust-to-love thing

-oh, but sometimes he may swipe his tongue over your bottom lip. Just to tease you. He’s not a total softie, doll.

———————————————————————————

Kix:

-aw, just look at him

-so, as mentioned before, Kix would go to the 79’s with Jesse a lot

-but, he wasn’t really a slut 🤷‍♀️

-he’d go there for the drinks and for fun. But not to get laid

-I mean, c’mon. There’s too many health risks. STD’s, potential pregnancy…

-what else would you expect from the medic

-BUT! That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t flirt.

-if he was interested, he’d talk. Say hi, hello, how are you, bla bla bla, but he wouldn’t take them to bed. It was always just hello for him.

-until he met you

-Kix is very old schooled

-very gentlemanly.

-it will at least take three to four dates and consistent talking for him to actually be hooked, and want something more, let alone kiss you

-oh, but once you get there

-he’ll kiss you when he thinks the time is right. It has to be the perfect moment.

-maybe when a quiet moment appears during one of your dates, or after a heart to heart or when he’s dropping you off or before he goes off on a mission

-the first kiss is soft. Firm, though. Full of meaning and unspoken confessions

-and then he’ll part, just for a second before returning one last time for a second kiss, and then he’ll be on his way.

-if you were to get intimate, though, his kisses are somewhat the same

-the only difference is there’s a hint of desperation in his kisses

-they’re chaste and a tad frantic, as if he’s rushing

-he is.

-like he’s trying to convey all his love to you while also struggling to hold back and not just—- pound you until you can’t sit right

-don’t worry, he’s a gentle lover though. But if you ask, who is he to deny?

———————————————————————————

Hardcase:

-oh, my silly little hyperactive adhd clone

-with no hesitation or anything, Hardcase absolutely geeks over you

-he’s jumping up and down when he sees you, grinning so hard you think his teeth might crack, laughing boisterously while scooping you up into a hug

-cuz you’re his baby, his hot stuff, his pretty mama

-and he’s NOT SHY in letting you know

-believe it or not, Hardcase actually wasn’t experienced before you. Surprising, right? Well, not really. Hardcase is somewhat of a himbo, and usually can’t take a hint on whether someone’s hitting on him or not. Plus, whenever he hit the bar, he’d usually be too drunk to realize if someone was or not. He’s there to just have fun.

-but he was eager to kiss you

-extremely. Extremely. Eager.

-you think he’d be a natural his first time?

-HAH. That’s cute. But no.

-the first kiss is sloppy. Rushed. I mean- it’s deep, don’t get me wrong, but just- very sloppy.

-noses squishing together, lips not even locked, teeth clacking together—

-yeah, it’s not the best. But it was for him!!

-at least, he thought it was

-until you actually taught him

-and for the first time, he froze. Everything in him went calm. Well, for a couple seconds, at least

-then he was giggling like a school-girl again and pecking all over your face

-Hardcase’s kisses are quick. Sometimes sloppy, and rushed, but it’s just because he gets so excited!

-s’not his fault, babydoll, believe him. It’s just easy to get too excited around you.

-and, well, that also transfers in the bed

-hope you can last a couple of quick rounds. He doesn’t plan on taking any breaks.

———————————————————————————

Dogma:

-guys, be for real. You think this man would know how to kiss?

-nah.

-he’s clueless. I mean, c’mon, all he does is work, work, work, and follow orders!

-he doesn’t get out much, give him some slack!

-so, well, you’re gonna hafta initiate everything and everything.

-Dogma is uptight, and fiercely believed that a clone’s person is strictly only to follow orders, so don’t get your feelings hurt when you try to initiate any affection for the first time and he flinches away or scowls. It’s nothing personal, really. He just doesn’t know how else to react.

-reassure him. Praise him. Tell him that he’s more than just a number to you, that you don’t just see him as a piece of hardware

-Dogma absolutely craves praise

-so when he first kisses you, he instinctively starts worrying and asking you if he did alright, if it made you feel good, if you were happy with him

-do him a favor and just kiss him to shut him up

-it works. It really does.

-Dogma’s kisses are shy. Barely there presses, fluttering and fleeting.

-you’re gonna hafta hold his face to keep him from pulling away almost immediately

-and then, once that strict and by-the-book soldier melts away, leaving the praise-starved and lowkey needy man beneath, Dogma will melt.

-you just need to guide him

-tell him what feels good, how good he’s being, how much you love him

-and Maker, isn’t he a pleaser

-he’s a suck up. He wants to please you.

-and doesn’t he do a damn good job of it

———————————————————————————

Tup:

-sweet baby, right?

-probably has no idea what he’s doing, right?

-WRONG

-look, sweet baby, yes, he is, he’s a sweetheart

-but he’s not a prude

-and he’s DEFINITELY not innocent

-I mean, c’mon. Have you seen his brothers? They’ve probably shown him holoporn at one point or tried to hook him up with someone

-that being said, he’s still newer, but he’s not completely ignorant

-and it’s not like he really liked playing around that much, either. He didn’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelings 🥺

-and when you appear? Well, you can guess how sweet this boy is to you

-he courts you.

-he’s not timid, but he can be shy, but it’s not like, really shy. He’s just very polite and doesn’t wanna scare you away, because in all realness, Tup is a bit insecure

-please reassure him.

-he may be shy of touching you at first, but once you assure him, he’ll start to. When the moments right, of course.

-his kisses are short and sweet

-a peck here and there

-oh, but don’t be disappointed. If you want more, he’ll give more, you just have to ask

-but, then again, he’s still a little hesitant about it. Just take the reins with this one.

-like I said, Tup isn’t innocent, he’s not a prude

-but he’s still a virgin. He could kiss, he could flirt

-but he’s always been to scared to give his virginity away, because that was special to him

-well anywho- we’re not on that topic! Yet :)

———————————————————————————

Fives:

-and last but not least! Fives!!

-look, Fives is a stud

-he’s goofy, flirty, cheesy, oh, so cheesy

-and he turns up that cheesiness all the way when he meets you

-so he’s experienced

-he 100% his, but when it comes to you, he’s not all ‘oh, yeah, to the bed, baby,’ but instead more of a, ‘hey, got a map? Cuz I’m getting lost in your eyes—-‘

-yeah. It’s bad.

-oh- but just- just give him a chance- kay? He’ll prove it to you—

-his kisses are DEEP

-PASSIONATE

-he uses tongue

-not to where it’s overwhelming, but to make you breathless and yearning for more

-kisses hard, one nip to your bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue and then just going for it

-you know he has you pinned against some place while he kisses you

-Makes out like his life depends on it

-but it’s not just lust for him, don’t worry!

-he’ll be breathing out his love for you with every kiss, growling under his breath while he thrusts into you deep and slow

-“Kriff— hold on- hah- fuck! Feel me right there- like that? Yeah, hahaah, yeah, ya like that, baby? Yeah, I know you do—“

-yeah. It gets heated really quickly.

-he’ll have you squirming in no time

-you’ll be yearning for this man in every way

-so yes.

-Fives is a very passionate man.

-and he just gets even more passionate when he’s with you

[hiiikiko]

𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕤𝕥!𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

ellie williams x reader | mini fic for casual

casual m.list | tlou m.list

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

୨୧ ellie is very musically talented, sometimes she’ll hear a few notes in her head and within half an hour, she’ll have a pretty decent tune

୨୧ she’s the founder of ‘the infected’ she came up with the name when she accidentally cut herself and the cut looked really gnarly n infected and then she was like.. woah that’s a pretty sick name

୨୧ jesse and dina teased her about the same bc it sounds like she’s go a uti

୨୧ it took her awhile to convince jesse and dina to join her band because 1. too much drama and 2. jesse didn’t care for being on stage

୨୧ she coaxed him into it by telling him that dina’s gonna get a lot of fanboys/girls n she’ll leave him in the dust for good

୨୧ she carries her journal everywhere with her in case inspiration strikes when she’s grocery shopping

୨୧ she also carries around a guitar pic because she likes to have something between her teeth and since she’s trying to quit smoking.. this is the next best thing

୨୧ she will NEVER EVER admit this to anyone but the reason why she moved to Seattle to start a band was because of Kurt Cobain (also why she has short hair and wears flannels)

୨୧ everyone should thank joel for him showing ellie nirvana bc without it, she may have never started a band

୨୧ ellie sometimes deprives herself of music because she doesn’t want to make anything that’ll make ppl say “that sounds like <insert band name>” it’s torture but it works

୨୧ ellie would’ve totally been the lead singer but she prefers to write and compose rather than be in the spotlight

୨୧ she wasn’t surprised when the band was starting to get traction (she in fact was and had to take a lap around the room)

୨୧ her fans paint her as this ‘player’ which she kinda revels in bc it gets her more pussy (she actually kinda hates it bc it makes her feel like a bad person but hey GAME IS GAME)

୨୧ she LOVES pop punk shows, one time she saw a bigger band and their show was so crazy, like crowd surfing, people pushing against the barrier, guards having to keep them in the pit, and everyone screaming the lyrics… she hopes her band will be that big one day

୨୧ she loves attending concerts but she can’t help but compare herself to the other bands

୨୧ she’s an audiophile, she goes to best buy just to compare headphones and their sound quality then leaves with nothing (ofc)

୨୧ every ellie in the ellieverse is a nerd, it’s a canon event, this ellie is not only a comic book nerd and a space nerd.. she’s also a GUITAR NERD !! (new ellie unlocked) she knows every type of guitar, yes, even the one that was made a minute ago in new guinea!

୨୧ ellie got her job at the guitar shop she works at bc during the interview, she completely nerded all over the place about the guitars on the walls, the old manager didn’t even need to go further in the interview, he slapped a name tag on her (he messed up and her name is elsie now) and booked it outta there

୨୧ she takes her job very seriously, it’s cute to see her working, it’s like watching a young bill gates talk about his apple products except this bill gates is wearing a raggedy flannel (she says it makes the customers trust her more bc it makes her looks like kurt), messy hair, and glitter from the concert last night

୨୧ she stays up to date on the latest guitars

୨୧ fun fact: she only gets her guitars from joel, her loving dad who runs a guitar/woodwork shop back in jackson :)

୨୧ speaking of joel, he supports ellie’s dream of being in a band because he wanted to be a singer when he was younger and he sees that younger self in ellie, it makes him happy when she talks about the concert she had last night.. it’s almost like he’s talking to his 20 year old self

୨୧ even though joel supports it, it still scares him, he doesn’t want ellie to end up like him

[a/n]: okay that’s all for now!! hope you guys like this mini thingy :3 i’ll write the next part tmrw!!

[zuliuli]

high school au Jesse is a total clumsy mess just like most shojo mc and Lukas is totally here for it (Also Jesskas going to prom feel like the story happy ending 🥹)

We love clumsy Jesse....even if he ends up causing some disaster on accident one day :)

[effietrinket1619]

Lanternfam tiktok chaos:

Everyone in the house but especially Keli has been pavloved into getting tired whenever someone announces "night time sleepy socks". (It's either Simon or Hal who started it, I can't decide.)

leading to:

Jess, filming: night time sleepy socks!

Kyle, yawning so wide it breaks his face:

Simon, getting up to the bathroom to brush his teeth before bed:

Hal, Jo, and John, ex-military: *already asleep*

Guy: JESSICA IT IS FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON

oh i love this but i'd like to let you know that this came so completely out of left field that i sat and laughed at it for five minutes straight.

okay, so it totally originated as a Thing on like longer space missions. especially because most planets don't have the same rotational speed as earth so there's no consistent day-night cycle they can follow. the rest of them are complete messes of adults but keli has hope of living a semi-normal life (probably maybe possibly hopefully). hence, the set bedtimes and someone (as you said, most likely either simon or hal) saying 'night time sleepy socks' (where is that even FROM).

but again, they're all messes and sleep deprivation is a bitch. jet lag from space has to suck an inordinate amount so they start taking that phrase as a signal to wind down as well. a couple of weeks pass and boom. pavlov'd successfully.

no one realises this for another couple of weeks either. when guy says it as a joke, they turn and watch simon and jess yawn in perfect unison. hal's already conked the hell out. no one is horrified about this revelation until jess finally does it in a video.

the caption reveals so little. jess just mentions they've all been pavlov'd in the weirdest possible way and she says it, all chirpy like she would to keli. "Night time, sleepy socks!" the results are immediate and incredibly satisfactory.

kyle yawns a yawn that splits his entire face in two. it's like watching a snake eat but worse because somehow. he immediately flops over to pass out on the nearest thing.

simon gets up and when jess asks where he's going, he says he has to brush his teeth before bed. he's responsible like that. let me make it clear that the sun hasn't set yet. it's still bright outside. there is sunshine coming in through the windows. the blinds are up. and simon is going to brush his teeth before bed.

hal, jo and john being asleep immediately because they're ex-military is so fucking funny. they don't even think about it. jo's phone slips from her fingers, john tucks his head into his arms and hal collapses into an armchair and starts snoring. literal sleeper agents.

guy? guy is visibly fighting a yawn and the sudden and violent urge to throw jess out of the window. how the hell is he supposed to watch the goddamn game when he wants to fall asleep on the spot. he was supposed to cook today. what kind of role model would he be if he fell asleep over the stove.

this video only cements how fucking weird these people are. the viewers get no answers. jess has successfully become an internet cryptid. all is right in the world.