#jester wife and funny wife mention

[mafia-kay]

YES

YES THE GAYS ARE BECOMING A THING IN THE MAFAI AU

YESSSSSS

[[Lmao @rabid-mercenary16 @unfunnyaceartist look how psyched these people are for us to be officially gay lol]]

[homunculus-argument]

"Maybe magic, maybe mundane" is one of my favourite tropes, especially when it's featured in something where magic could plausibly exist.

One book idea that I had that is currently only a pile of haphazard notes features a character only known as The Queen's Mute - or simply "the mute" for short - who is exactly what it says on the tin: the queen's personal jester, who does not speak. He is also ambiguously human. An eerie, elfin creature who seems to find it funny when people are puzzled by him.

Besides being completely silent, he has an uncanny skill in copying how people hold themselves and move. Gait, posture, the expressions they make, he could just be standing completely still doing nothing, and it's still obvious whether he's standing like the king or the head cook. If you've seen the subject once, you'll know who he's impersonating. He's quick to spot every opportunity to insult someone by doing so - like spotting a nobleman who isn't faithful to his wife and following after him across the room in the exact same gait that his mistress walks in. The king once remarks that he can't understand how the hell someone who can't speak can have so many rude things to say.

The protagonist was sent to spy on the queen, and the mute is almost always with her - making no sound, not even footsteps, but making himself seen, and seeing and hearing everything. One never hears him come or go, he is just suddenly there, sitting on the floor, waiting to see who's the first person to glance down and get startled out of their mind because people don't just pop out of nowhere like that. Being fond of climbing furniture as well, he might also be sitting on top of a shelf.

Though the protagonist first assumes that he is somewhere close to her own age - somewhere in his late teens - and the narration refers to him as "boy" more often than "man", the queen corrects her. He is just as grown now as he was when she first brought him with her, and though she doesn't know his exact age, she knows he is older than she is herself.

The king - despite of being the mute's favourite subject of vicious mockery - tolerates him for some reason. Despite of being aware that the relationship between the queen and the jester is romantic as well as sexual in nature. Their marriage is as loveless as political arranged marriages get, so he finds it preferable to let the queen keep her mute if his taunting antics and his unsettling way of just appearing into places at least keep other men away.

The queen occasionally mentions things that she wasn't supposed to know - and couldn't have known - just to let the protagonist know that she knows more about what's going on than what she lets on. When the protagonist fails to hide her shock and asks the queen how she knew, the queen explains that the mute told it to her. The protagonist assumes this to be a joke, her way of saying "none of your business", since obviously the mute doesn't talk.

But he does talk. Only to the queen, only when absolutely no other soul is there to hear it. And as a plot twist on the last third of the book, it turns out that besides knowing how to move like other people, the mute is a frighteningly good vocal mimic. He can copy the queen's voice perfectly, which they have often used for her advantage. Looking back to every scene where the queen was heard but not seen - behind a curtain or a dressing screen, talking through a door, or just overheard singing to herself in the garden - there is no telling whether the protagonist was actually talking with the queen, or if she had that whole conversation with the mute. This would explain at least one incident where the queen was supposed to be in one place but somehow shows up somewhere else.

The protagonist never figures out what the mute's whole deal is. She never finds a satisfying answer despite of the queen clearly telling her that he is just as much a human of flesh and blood as either of them. The queen often sounds like she's lying when she's telling the truth, as she is now. The mute is completely, entirely human, just somewhat autistic and trans.

[ask-missparker]

The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing | Wandavision 60s blurb 📞

Pairings: Wanda x Vision, Nikolai x Amelia, Marlene x Melissa

Extra characters mentioned: Agnes, Herb, Ji-Hoon, Norm

Summary: A nice day in WestView isn’t it, neighbor? Just a nice day for a talent show in the park.

Click here to read them in the 50s episode

———

“Why are we doing this again?” He yelled from across the room.

“Because it is our neighborhood duty to participate.” She called back.

“And who’s brilliant idea was that?”

“Yours!”

“WAS I DRUNK WHEN I SUGGESTED THAT?”

She looked up with doe eyes shaking her head and said, “No. You were your normal amount of drunk when you came and suggested it.”

“Oh.” He repiled looking surprised for a moment and turned back on track, “Well I’m not going.”

As he turned on his heels, she yelled, “They are serving free drinks and well made sandwiches.”

He stopped his tracks, amused by the latest news and began walking backwards, “What I meant to say was I’m not going without a quick shower to fresh up.”

She smiled and winked at the camera with a shrug. She crossed her eyes, “How about we did a little dance at the talent show tonight as well?”

He yelled from that bathroom, “Only if you wear that sassy little number that make your eyes pop and fit you in all the right places!”

“Now you sound like yourself.”

“Wouldn’t be if I wasn’t!”

“And it’s for the children.”

“We already got one, who needs more?”

“Niky!”

“I love you too!”

~~~~

At the town meeting, Nikolai was sitting down near the round table stuffing his face with a donut half listening to what Ji-Hoon saying as Marlene muttered his ear to share the food.

Herb was talking about the Jesters new playground in the front yard and how they should all invest in their lawns looking just as good.

That’s when Vision walked in standing all awkward and said, “I’ll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse.”

Nikolai yelped pulling up a chair, “Nonsense man, come sit! More the merrier. Maybe you can make the place more interesting. Uh, no offense Norm.”

He muttered, “None taken.”

Marlene snorted at the comment, handing Vision a box of doughnuts in which Nikolai stole from his grasp.

She rolled her eyes instead passing around sandwiches and said, “You’ll love them. My wife made ‘em this morning.”

Vision kindly denied, “Oh no thank you. I don’t eat food.”

“Uh what?”

“..uhh what I meant to say is that I don’t eat food inbetween meals, but at meal time. I’m a regular eating machine.”

“Well more for-“ Ji-Hoon exclaimed about to put them a little to-go box for later but Marlene slapped his hand away, “-ow!”

“No more! Then you won’t be able to fit into your pants later.” Marlene respones scowled at him then turning back to Vision, “Would you like a stick of gum instead?”

Norm was about to say ‘is gum even food’ but one glare from Marlene shut the man up. Vision shrugged saying it couldn’t hurt and took a stick of gum from Herb which made him act kinda funny. They all assumed it was the flavor must’ve been different to his taste buds.

Nikolai and Herb smirked saying it would be great to have a game of horseshoe out back. Vision nodded excited which had Marlene and the others holding back their laughter.

~~~

The ladies however had an interest time at Dottie’s house. Amelia arrived somewhat easily carrying Milo in her arms as the the puppy playing patty cake with Geraldine. She thanked the women for keeping her company as they waited for the others. The girl said it was her pleasure to do so, she wasn’t sure why she came in the first place because she thought it would be more fun. Melissa arrived just in time, saying that her and her wife were having some exact fun that morning.

Both girls laughed.

Dottie looked around counting head and raised an eyebrow, “Uh Amelia right?”

“Hm?” She asked.

“Uh I don’t remember saying dogs could come.”

Melissa smirks as she added, “And I don’t remember you saying that florals were on the list today. I guess we’re both disappointed.”

Dottie looks down at her loud floral dress, flowers rounding her tables set up and the floral curtains. She groaned and walked away as if she was fuming. Melissa smirked to herself as Geraldine and Amelia giggled, they liked florals but this was overkill. Agnes, Wanda and the other ladies finally joined in. Her puppy was being treated well by the staff members there, which made her smile.

Dottie was discussing the incident and plans for today, reminded them that this whole show was for the children. In which the other ladies repeated in unison.

“Did I walk into a cult or something...” Marlene muttered to herself as Amelia snorted.

That earned a little smile from her other friends. Agnes was just drinking meanwhile Wanda was biting down on a cookie that she forgot what was happening.

She removed the cookie from her mouth to clap and repeat along, “For the children.”

Afterwards some ladies went to get ready for the show, but Amelia, Melissa and Wanda stayed behind to help clean up with Dottie.

“Thank you for helping us clean up today, we feel so lucky.” Wanda said with a smile, picking up plates.

“You are.” Dottie responded with a fake ass smile.

Melissa muttered, “I should’ve ran out when I had the chance.”

“You and me both.” Added Amelia with a smile.

The four of them wanted to correct the situation, trying to avoid any confusion and become friendly. Everything was going fine. Melissa was fixing fix up a few napkins hearing the girls speak when the radio started to turn into an oddly specific voice asking ‘Can you hear me, Wanda? Who’s doing this to you girls?’

Dottie got concerned asking who they are, in pure curiosity and shock the glass in her hand shattered as the radio returned back to normal. But she was bleeding a daring red as Amelia rushed over with some napkins to clear that mess up. Dottie was looking between both girls in confusion and slight embarrassment then calmly smiling like a perfectly good housewife should. Wanda stood there with no words coming out of her mouth as Melissa tried to defuse the situation.

“How do you know this much?” Dottie asked.

Amelia smiled, “Well, when your married for so long and had mishaps..you know when to stay calm..”

“Good. I’ll take care of this.”

“But you sure?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Dottie just walked away leaving the girls and Wanda to themselves wondering how uptight and strange the blonde could be. Amelia rushed over to see is the redhead was okay as Wanda nodded saying she was fine, having to get ready for the show.

———-

The show at the park was in full swing, as couples were in their fun acts. Marlene and her wife, Melissa, did a little balancing act for the whole crowd. Everyone clapped and cheered for their performance.

Ji-Hoon was hosting the show talent show dressed in his trademark suit, as Amelia and Nikolai were up next doing their best dance routine yet. The two dance Jailhouse Rock on the stage, doing swings, kicks and twirls. Their footwork was excellent in their eyes, having the whole stage be their dance floor.

They finished off the dance with Nikolai dipping Amelia’s head with a classic grin and wink to the audience. She giggled and smiled across the crowd as they clapped loving their performance.

It didn’t matter if they won, they could all tell the couple had way too much fun. But winning would be nice of course.

The two raced off the stage watching Wanda and Vision getting ready. Amelia noticed that Vision looked like he was drunk, as she muttered if Nikolai had of them drink during their meeting. He just put a finger to his lips chuckled, when in reality he had no idea what happened to Vision.

But they got their answer once Wanda and Vision were performing on stage. It was honestly hilarious on their own magic act how silly Vision was out of the loop meanwhile Wanda was playfully showcasing their tricks.

Some of the crowd was confused, others were laughing meanwhile the whole time everyone was entertained piecing together the magic up.

Suddenly Vision walked off the stage and yelled, “Stand up, Shebert! Say hello to the crowd.”

Herbert stood up awkwardly, “Actually it’s Herbert..”

“Pipe down Sherbie and pick a card!”

Vision was fumbling around with his words, instructing Herbert to do as told. Afterward the tall blonde shuffled the cards then flipping one out with a confident expression.

“Is this your card?”

“Uh no.”

“I beg to differ.”

“No.”

“R-really?”

He threw the card over his shoulder and went to pick another one, as Hebert kept telling him, ‘no’. Vision made a grumping noise flipping across the card rapidly in front of the other man’s face repeatedly asking the same question.

All the cards went flying around the park until Vision held up the last one in frustration asking, “Is this your card?”

Herbert smiled, “It is!”

“It is what?!”

“It’s my card.”

Vision scoffed exclaiming, “Well pardon me, Herbert, have it back!” As he shoved the card onto his chest scrambling away and onto the stage saying he did the trick right. The crowd clapped and laughed.

Vision went on and on with tricks running around the stage like a maniac trying to get a hold of himself but failing. Marlene snorted as Melissa laughed. Poor Wanda had to deal with all of her husband’s mishap, covering it up with fake magic to go ahead his real magic act. Soon enough it was over.

Everyone clapped and cheered at their performance, as Ji-Hoon and Dottie called up all the acts to the stage for hand out awards. Everyone got a little ribbons or small trophies, but the real winner was Wanda and Vision. 

All that mattered is that everyone had fun!

——————

Marlene took Melissa on a walk along the park afterwards then home for a special little treat of their own. All Amelia knew that Melissa was blushing after something her wife said in her ear before they left, Nikolai snorted loudly knowing those two were gonna have fun. He decided to take his wife home where he was greeted by their growing puppy Milo was leaping into his lap the moment he sat down on the couch.

“Sometimes I think you love that little mutt more than me.” Amelia joked putting their small trophy on the coffee table before taking a seat beside them.

Nikolai was kissing Milo’s face who was licking and curling up against him ignoring his wife’s jokes as he smirked. That was tall tale sign that she was right about that. He then pressed a kiss to her face as she tried to scurry away.

“You got dog slobber on you!” She yelled giggling.

“Really?! Can you remove it?” He shouted jokingly, picking up Milo who licked her cheeks as well.

“Ahh! You boys will be the death of me!”

“Take it back!”

“No!”

Nikolai and Milo were attacking Amelia with kisses and doggie breath, as laughter and yelling echoed the room.

The two heard a small rumbling sound coming from outside the house, pausing to look outside the window to see thunder and lightning coming. Nikolai’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment sensing something in the air, as Amelia stayed curious onto the sudden weather conditions.

Which meant a short stormy night for them, but a cozy one. As the pair looked at one around their respective features gleamed in the only bright lights of the living room.

The room temperature dropped then rising again for a moment as a wave of shifting sparkles washed over their home. The streets started to brighten up in brighter shades as well.

Every single house was turning into actual color. It felt completely natural and refreshing to the eyes of everyone in town.

~~~~

Instead of black and white, they were all in color now.

~~~~~~~

————

—————

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this addition to wonderful world of WandaVision. Anything you liked? Let me know 🎶

Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel @gcthvile @rickb-chaos @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @thechoooooosenone @luna-d-marsh @rooster-84 @thecavalrywife @cherrysft and etc

[unlicensedmortician]

bad movies with j&j: divergent part two electric boogaloo.

- they have multiple personality traits. which means they are the worst people ever.

- i can’t even go “this is such obvious propaganda how is anyone falling for it” bc ive been on twitter recently

- oh girl that haircut is really bad

- that haircut is “this is the first time i’m asking for a masc haircut and the hairdresser my mom took me to just goes with fuckass pixie cut” bad

- “only a divergent can open this box” be so fucking for real. what are you talking about. it’s a magic box? that only a divergent can open? because they’re so special? because they’re acoustic? what are you saying

- hey . what? “i need to kill jeanine” didn’t a large chunk of the plot of the last movie revolve around how tris doesn’t want to kill people. what’s happening

- “tris you can’t just go around killing people”

- caleb. shut up

- “hey how do these people know you? why are they looking for you?” “:)” hey king that’s not? an answer?

- this man’s mother looks like. 28. he looks older than her. what the fuck

- she and tris look the same age?

- four looks like he’s 36. he looks like he has a mortgage. he looks like he doesn’t pay child support. his mother looks 29 at MOST

- THE ACTRESS WAS IN HER FORTIES IN THIS MOVIE?? GIRL WHAT IS UR SKINCARE ROUTINE!!

- tris rocking up in a forever 21 ass outfit

- hey caleb are you wearing a white tshirt a denim flannel and a suit jacket made by carhartt?

- ah yes the ya dystopian female lead uniform: extremely fitted utility vest with 25% of ur back exposed and nothing underneath

- christina girl what was she supposed to do

- “i’ve been assuming all divergents are the same” and you’re supposed to be the smartest bitch alive?

- oh i wonder who could be the most specialist special one of them all

- “sometimes i think i see lights out beyond the wall” wow that’s crazy girl

- jester said she runs like a sim and they’re right oh my god

- i can’t tell if i keep zoning out or if this movie just makes no sense

- this fucking guy again?

- summary execution. average good guy behavior

- wow she’s 100% divergent? she’s who they’ve been looking for? that’s fucking crazy. who could have seen this coming.

- oh shit girl you fucking kilt him

- is this nonbinary representation

- girl how did you get a full beat and a blowout in this economy

- can’t get over how much jeanine looks like a pastors wife

- yeah ok that was a pretty effective way to send a message. also, what the fuck

- i feel like. this whole divergent problem could be solved if you just didn’t mention that they exist and let them pick a faction and stick to it. like they would probably just do that.

- please don’t make me watch them bone on screen i can’t do it

- oh yep she’s turning herself in. thought so

- i feel like most people would be pretty willing to try to stop innocent people from being forced to kill themselves no matter what their dominant personality trait is but ok

- peter is kinda serving cunt tho

- “it’s ok u can kill him if you want we have plenty of guards” “… WHAT” ok. that was funny

- damn they acupunctured her

- i love watching actors do a muscle up that engages absolutely none of their muscles

- unfortunately i just think these trial sims are kinda dumb as hell and i don’t really care that much

- standing in the shower really normally tris

- this movie is almost completely relying on tris being a pretty skinny blonde white girl in order for you to care about what’s happening

- this is giving me a migraine

- tris you look really stupid unfortunately

- hello?? is she fucking dead??? there’s a whole other movie with her in it ??

- also like. what the fuck is in the box

- imagine if it’s just like. a piece of paper that says “i fucked ur mom”

- ok slay go off peter. i guess. sure.

- he’s the realest bitch here

- tris vs tris with an even worse haircut somehow

- honestly couldn’t tell you what happened in that last simulation

- plot twist! the entire base concept of this worldbuilding is fake and made up and contrived!

- so she’s the savior of humanity? with that haircut?

- yeah that’s p average dictator behavior

- do you guys think the milf is gonna end up being the new dictator

- and there’s a whole other movie after this ¿? this sort of feels like. the conclusion.

- she’s soooooo special. oh my god. what ever

- oh fours mom shot jeanine. ok

final thoughts: hm? huh? what? this has to be one of the stupidest things i’ve ever seen. sorry to everyone who was really into this in 2014 i will not be changing my opinion. how do i get @ghostcasket back for showing this to me i genuinely can’t think of anything

[bedoballoons]

What medieval/royalty roles would you give to your anons?

Oooo good question! (Also not sure if these are all the same person, but the Christmas present version of this I am in fact saving for December <3)

Im also gonna add a bit of fantasy in here too!

Fairy anon: Starting right off the bat with fairy anon being a fairy of course! It's not only fitting name wise but she just truly has the perfect vibes for it!

Mushroom anon: They would definitely be a mushroom person, a adorable very small (and I mean mushrooms are bigger than them kinda small) person with a cute little mushroom hat and a sketchbook to write/draw about the mushrooms they grow!

Sleepy anon: Sleepy anon would be a royal guard! Might snooze off a little here and there but the second there's any trouble they are right there to help save everyone! They also like to sneak away when they have a break to sketch fish in the river!

Starstruck anon: A astrologist! They are searching the stars for answers and figuring out the things that make the world go around. Commissioned by royalty often to see out prophecies, although they themselves look to find love!

Bananon: I feel like bananon would be a sweet maiden, they find life hard sometimes but also see beauty where others don't. They wish to find someone who understands their point of view, romantic or simply friends! Definitely talks to animals too!

Donut cat: A black cat who actually brings luck to others! (Random I know but hear me out) They constantly appear when others need a laugh, causing a fun ruckus or just finding ways to make people smile! Good friends with the maiden too <3

Princess: Clearly a princess! But truthfully a kind ruler, wants the best for her people and has alot she wants to say as well. She likes to have fun and flirt alittle with her royal guard 😉 A magical person all around though!

Fox anon: A traveling adventurer! They appear every so often with gifts and stories to share! They are always mentioning the wonderful people they met on their journeys and always make the people who listen wish to adventure too!

Ramen anon: The royal chef, doesn't always know exactly what he's doing but he tries. He loves his beautiful wife and spoils her the best he can with the royal spoils he receives as payment. Hopes one day to learn the most delicious recipes so he can get more payment and buy his wife the perfect home to live in.

Pancake anon: The royal jester! Full of jokes and super funny, but when royalty isn't looking they are just adorable! They give treats to little kids and also attempt to make everyone laugh! Sweet and funny!

(Goodness I hope I remembered everyone this time 😭)

Also...isn't this technically writing headcanons about my anons...

[ithinkabouttzu]

Hi!! Can I have a BoB ship?

I’m pale, sort of auburn-blonde, green grey eyed, 5’6” and fairly slender but with big boobs and hips.

I'm very passionate, always smiling, empathetic, sarcastic, smart, and easy going. I hide behind my humor so people can’t get too close, and I overcompensate my shyness by talking to everyone, so no one believes I really am. I’m riddled with anxiety and massively self critical and can be stubborn and proud. But I try to always put others first, and I like to challenge myself. I’m fiercely loyal once I let someone get close to me. I’m a nurse, and I’ve been told that instead of being like “work wife,” I’m “work jester” because I just go around trying to make everyone laugh.

I love animals, especially dogs (I have 9, plus 1 geriatric cat and 8 chickens). I also love learning about anything and everything; I spend a lot of free time listening to lectures or watching documentaries. I’m an avid traveler and reader. Music is very important to me, and I listen to just about every genre from every era. Drawing and painting are my catharsis, but I love doing anything creative.

Thanks in advance! 🦊

Thank you for your request sweetheart!!

and you gotta hear me out ok this but

I ship you with…

Denver “Bull” Randleman!

- Okay so let me say how ENAMORED this boy is first upon meeting you, like man thinks you’re GORG

- HAS to come up to you and introduce himself, and that’s when his southern hospitality really comes to play LOL

- Has millions of pet names he calls you (darling, princess, sweetheart, pumpkin, honey, doll) Be ready because he can get CREATIVE with names 🤣

- He thinks your smile is SO pretty and tries so hard to see it whenever he can 🥹

- He loves how outgoing and funny you are! When you guys first met, you showed that side of yourself to him and he couldn’t get enough LOL

- Always tries to see more than your funny jokes and (even though he loves them), he knows it’s just a defense mechanism and wants to see that genuine side of you.

- but don’t forget how *obsessed* he is with your body and curves, like if you wear tight fitted tops or pants he cannot keep his hands to himself

- Sometimes he can tell when you get shy or nervous and will make sure to talk to everyone with you!

- He also loves how loyal and passionate you are, He knows you keep the people you love close to you and he admires that so much.

-He also knows if you want something you’ll try your best to go for it! He sees that fieriness in you and loves it!!

- He hates when you start to be hard on yourself and always reminds you it’s normal to not be perfect in everything you do (even though you are perfect to him 🤭)

- Literally breaks his heart when he sees you get nervous or when he can tell when your anxiety acts up.

-he always tries to talk you through it (if you let him ofc) or if you guys just want to get away to take your mind off of whatever it is, he’s ready!

- Both of you are MAJOR animal lovers and i could def see you guys having a whole farm of animals ( like loves ALL 9 of your dogs once he meets them) Also those chickens 🤣

- Saturday nights are definitely movie nights where you guys watch all of your favorite documentaries. bull isn’t as much of a fan as you are but he still enjoys it (cause he’s with you ofc 🤭)

- and whenever you guys have free time, oh boy, he’s planning all these cool places you guys can look at and go to. Both of you are ambitious to explore together and make memories with each other 😩

- I can see you and bull just winding down together and listening to music (he definitely sings all of the romantic songs to you 🥹) There’s definitely songs that remind him of you and whenever he hears them he just stops and smiles like omg

- Also can we mention how he loves your drawings?!? Like Van Gogh who? He finds it so cool that he can see your feelings and emotions through your work, he feels closer to you in some way when he looks at them (so cute omg)

- But overall this boys main goal is to just SPOIL you and love you! he just cherishes you so much 😭 (and can’t wait to put a ring on it) LMAO

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hey honey I hope you like this and thank you again for requesting! Let me know if you’d like to request for another BoB guy and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey I hope you love this and if you want another BoB guy just let me know!! 💞

- He thinks you are such a special person,

- loves your curves like so much 🙈 whenever you wear something tight that accentuates your chest or your hips he literally cannot keep his hands to himself 🤭

-

-

[wrestlinghistorywithkay]

Say His Name and He Appears: Counting Down My Favorite Joe Hendry Songs

Hello All My Awesome Readers! Before you ask , you did read the title of this article right! I will be counting down my favorite Joe Hendry songs! Joe Hendry has been one of my favorite wrestlers to watch recently. He is a talented wrestler and one hell of a musician. I laugh every single time I hear his songs.

#5 - Edge’s Bitch

I couldn’t stop laughing when I first heard this one. This song was done for Matt Cardona in 2023. Hendry debuted the song in TNA after Cardona and his tag team partner , Brian Myers , lost in a tag team match . The song is about how Hendry says Cardona will always be Edge’s bitch , referring to his time in WWE. It also included Myers and Chelsea Green, Matt’s Wife. The music video is also hilarious too.

#4- Backstreet’s Back Parody- I know wrestlers will and try to do anything to get booked. But , I have to say , this one is one of my favorite ways a wrestler has gotten his name out there . Hendry talks about how he professional and punctual he is when he goes to shows. Plus , I really think that this one really shows his talent as a singer and also a cool way to get booked.

#3 - I Believe in Joe Hendry - This is most well known song. It is also his entrance music for TNA and NXT. This one first debuted in 2019 when Hendry was wrestling in Ring Of Honor . Hendry wanted to make a song where he wanted fans to participate. The cool thing about this song is that it went to the top of the charts , beating out artists like Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift. I will admit , it’s on my playlist.

Honorable Mentions :

Joehemian Rhapsody ( Bohemian Rhapsody Parody )

Hendry Ball ( Wrecking Ball Parody )

Local Hero ( My Hero Parody )

Pokémon Intro

Cheez-It Champion

#2- Jack Jester’s In My Room- This one is too funny to me. It is a parody of the Venga Boys. The video for this song is even funnier. I couldn’t get it out of my head the first time I heard it and I will never be able to. When I watched this entrance , I could tell that Jack was trying so hard not to laugh. He was even fist pumping to it as well.

#1 - I’m Drew - This one is a parody of Eiffel 65. It came out when Drew came back to Scotland and went back to ICW. I love it because I love Joe and Drew , and I also thought it was super cute and funny. Drew also confirmed that he had to hide his face behind his hair to prevent fans from seeing him laugh because he was a Heel. This means that he was a bad guy and was supposed to be angry that Joe made the song about him. Thus, they praised each other in different interviews.

My Final Thoughts:

I love Joe Hendry. I think it’s so unique how he uses his musical talents to stand out in the ring . I also think that he is a great wrestler as well! I’ll be going to WRESTLECADE and I hope that I will get to see him there. I saw online that he will be there for TNA and a meet and greet. What is your favorite Joe Hendry song? Let me know!

Love You All,

- Kay

[chipper-smol]

Hollow Knight Telephone Round Two: Pale Jester Chain 1

Prompt: PJ finds himself alone with the Grimmchild after the bug who finished the ritual abandons the Grimmchild charm

By @alaska-ren-works​

“Oh, the red casts great and terrifying spells Ones which no one knows The drums go bang and the bats ignite ‘Lo and behold a toad!”

The Pale Jester hummed to the beat of his steps, the atmosphere of King’s Pass having a little color now, PJ thinks. Little taps from crawlids and squawks of vengeflies adding a little harmony to his cheery bells. Ah, to have an orchestra of his own to play and dance to. Never the mind, there’s always his friends he could sneak away with. He’s sure Brumm wouldn’t mind if he borrowed him and his accordian. Brumm was always a lovely companion with his somber mood. Hm, now if only he could remember where he left his lute he’d be on his way to play with the troupe.

The jester paused when mued noise echoed from a tunnel above. Shrugging, his bells jingled as he scaled the stone up and up while wondering what this little mystery was. A statue of a great bug with red eyes a-plenty loomed from the jester's place on the edge, guarding over a single opened chest. The noise echoed from its hollow depths.

A grub? It must be. Unless something else can make such high-pitched sounds.

The jester jingled quietly to the chest, preparing a little song to cheer the poor sap out. Who would leave a child in a desolate place such as this?

He'd have a word with the young one's parents. A strongly worded one at that. If he had a child, he would never abandon them when they needed him most.

Indeed. You have done far, far worse. Strange. Is the wind howling voices? What a peculiar land this is.

The sound whimpered louder and at this the jester froze. It couldn't be. No, of course not. Master had made sure the bug was to be trusted. They would never... They would never do such a thing...!

He hurried and his claws dug into the chest's metal. His heart stopped when he saw what, or who, was inside. The black gleaming horns. The scarlet flame stuttering under glassy eyes.

No.

"Grimmchild?"

A stuttered whimper his only reply.

How dare that excuse of a life betray our child.

Grimmchild did not respond when the jester picked them up, cradling them in his puy-sleeved arms. Dark red stained their cheeks. Dark, sorrowful red.

"Child," he gently cooed, frowning when they hardly moved their head. "How long were you left here?"

No reply. What have they done to you?

“Let’s go home, little one. I am certain you are tired after your long adventure,” he sang with restrained tones, his fury marbled with his grief for this little one. "I have a few tricks I want to show you! Made them perfect while Brumm learned how to juggle. He's not the most dexterous of us all but perhaps one day he can handle flaming darts! What fun that would be!"

No reply.

The Jester trembled with every rocking of his arms for the child. He remembered how the child laughed and beamed when the bug took them to gather the scarlet flames. The child sang with such glee at the bug's performance with the master. The child grew more brilliant with every step this bug took with them down to the kingdom's last flame.

Come to think of it, he had not seen the bug once the heart was defeated. ... No.

"O, child," the jester piped. Taking one step, a stalactite fell from above. His hand moved on its own and in moments, the rock turned to powder under his clenched fist. The child merely curled in his arms, eyes dimming to a close. "Child, you need rest! Once you wake, you'll be in such a lovelier place with the most delightful of games to play with!"

That... fiend... left the child when the ritual was over? Like a mere toy to be buried once play time ends?

That abomination will pay. For every tear this child shed.

Every. Damned. One.

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By @lametinkerer​

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By The Grimm Chronicler

At first, it was easily muffled by all the noise outside. Then he heard it. A thud, a sudden cry of desperation.

Investigating at the source, there he found it, hidden away within a small chest. A child. A weeping, frightened child, clinging to his robes so tight and desperately as though the mere mention of legging go could mean that they would return to the chest and be trapped once again. 

"Oh, child..." The Jester whispers. "Who could do something like this to you? How long have you been there?" Questioned the Jester, though he knew he'd receive naught but silence. Embracing them as gently as possible, he rocked them evenly back and forth until they stilled, having given in to slumber.

His investigation has proven itself to be quite uncomplicated. Within no time, he found out about the child's former guardian and how they were so utterly left aside to simply rot away in the confines of an ornate chest in a secluded area. The mere thought brought forth despicable, hideous emotions he never thought himself capable of experiencing.

Anger. Pure, unbridled anger.

He swore that he'd find the one responsible for this sick malevolence and bring them to justice. Mayhaps even the Master would offer his aid. It mattered little whether he did so or not, the Jester sought naught but to seek out the evil being and he would do so relentlessly. He promised that. As he held the child in his hands, their crimson eyes staring innocently at the funny man with a strange makeup and even stranger outfit and pointy prongs on his head, they giggled at the sight. "That abomination shall pay for every. Single. Tear you ever shed. I shall see to it. They will not go unpunished for such atrocity."

The Jester brought them closer to him, closing his eyes. They giggled at the contact, embracing him back.

"I promise you."

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By @lagt-duck​

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By @al-the-frog​

the unexpected isn’t always desirable

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By @largeegg​

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By @wasabi-arts​

The audience departed, the stage left empty, not a sound. Usually Brumm’s pleasant tune filled the halls draped in red with faint echoes of the notes, but tonight remained silent. It wasn’t often the bug was left with the distinct lack of noise, with no joke to entertain himself or company to keep. All that greeted him was the faint whispers of an audience no more, the spirits that haunted the troupe.

And to think at first you loathed him- a creature created by the king of all nightmares after humiliating your very existence as the king’s little fool. However. . now? You feel pity for him while you watch the jester in red with his head in his hand, sitting on the edge of the stage. He’s weighed by a misery he can’t understand, memories he’ll never recall, all in a world through the holes of a stice striped mask. The stamp of the Grimm Troupe.

On the stage, the jester just stared at something in one of his hands, round and white. Normally, it's something you’d dismiss- perhaps a relic spawning a curiosity that would be short lived- but the curled carving, the white charm shape- it was unmistakable. Something that he and his wife had once shared, then split in two- was suddenly regained.

Several emotions filled your mind as you, in your ghostly shadow of self that remained trapped in the nightmare realm bound by a red string, inched closer to your physical counterpart. The kingsoul. Last you remembered- no, last you knew you held it on your cold dead corpse in the palace long since gone, hidden within a lingering dream. The other half was to your wife, if she even still considered you as much after everything you had done.

Tears ran down his face while he laughed, unaware of the peeking figure standing by the entrance- Grimm, though not the one bound by nightmares. Though the cloaked one’s look of pained sympathy wasn’t where your interest lay.

“Ah. . . .h . a . . ha h.” He laughed through tears, some falling on the kingsoul he held in his hand. “Isn’t this hilarious- laughing over a rock!”

He cringes at calling it such a thing as you do, staring with a mix of disgust and sadness, watching the red flame’s reflection flicker in the charm. The broken crown even seemed to sag even more, a dinky replica of what you yourself once were.

“Did-” A pause from the fool sitting on the edge of the stage- his stage that was built for him in this troupe of misfits. “Did she give this to me to make me cry? Hah-ha! M-Maybe it has a crying effect.”

Your annoyance and anger switched into a deep sadness, watching your counterpart laugh through tears, tears of which he knew not where the source was.

“That’s not what that is-” You say to no one, letting out a sigh as you turn away, responding to a world that wouldn’t hear you regardless. “You won’t know, and I doubt anyone would tell.”

The jester and the peeking Grimm didn't respond, as you expected. Though, finally your counterpart peeked up, catching the taller, monstrous bug in a spare glance. In an instant he hopped up on his feet, charm in hand, greeting the master of the troupe with four open arms- the charm in one.

“H-Hello hello!” He cheered, voice cracking through his tears, the unfamiliar sense of deja-vu crippling his very being. He bowed. “Why, my performance as long since ended, but if my master himself wants another show- then I shall prepare for one-!”

“That is not needed, dear Jester.” Grimm said simply, waving a hand to pause the jester’s actions, finally deciding to enter the room. “While I do enjoy a good show- I didn’t wish to disturb your thought.”

“Thought. . ?” The jester questioned, stature changing from fun to a distinct slouch. You huff- and he looks in your direction, though he doesn’t see you. You’re merely a shadow haunting this jester’s mind. Soon enough his focus drifted back to the round object in his hand. “Ah.”

“Are you feeling alright-”

“Splendid! I am doing fantastically, Master!” He exclaimed as you scowled. Master- what a disgraceful word for a wyrm to call such a makeshift god. Though he’s not a wyrm, nor are you. Not anymore. “I have just been given a cute little charm by a fair lady deep within the gardens. Well- half of it! The beauty said I had the other half, haha!”

Grimm cocks his head, in worry and curiosity, making you wish your counterpart- the one born for the stage and as a mockery of yourself- wasn’t nearly as tone-deaf.

“Hm, you had the other half, she said?” Grimm asked, moving closer to the jester.

“Why, yes! And you’ll never believe where I found it- in some dark little place deep below. How odd!” Grimm let out a ‘hrm’ in response as he spoke.  “Found it on a corpse of all things- a hollow shell of armour! Don’t you find it curious, Master?”

“Hmm- that is quite odd. What do you plan to do with it?”

You watch the jester flinch in a rather odd fashion at the question.

“Well- I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll hang it on to it- or perhaps I’ll wear the darling little thing! Maybe it will help me cry on command, wouldn’t that be hilarious?” Silence. A long, agonizing silence greeted both for a moment, the red flame glittering in the dark room. All these tents had for light were shades upon shades of red- you quite hated the color.

“I suppose it is.” Grimm said, extending out a hand. Long, bony, black. He seemed to lack a lot of the segmentation that typical bugs had. “Why don’t you allow me to hold on to that until you decide what to do with it? We certainly don’t need such a thing getting sawed in half during one of your splendid performances!”

“Why- of course, Master! If you would like it- who am I to refuse such a request!” He hummed back, reaching out to give it to the taller bug. The action disgusted you. Giving away such a precious charm that was your’s and no one else’s, let alone to that made your blood boil.

“Are you going to let go?”

You turn, finding that the jester hadn’t let away his grip of the carved white stone. In fact- it was almost like he couldn’t.

“I--I apologize, Master. I feel like. . . I don’t want to let it go? That’s not very funny, though! Ha-ha! I-”

“Then you can keep it.” he said, the slight smile of his pointed teeth not hidden under his collar for once. “It is yours- so you will do with it what you wish.” The Pale Jester turned his gaze from Grimm to the charm once more, turning it in his hands once. Twice. “However, let’s not focus on that- you have a grand show tomorrow, and I would love to view it from the audience this time around.” He turned to leave with a bow. “I expect an even grander performance than before! ANd I am greatly looking forward, my dear Jester. Have a pleasant night.”

“Goodnight, Master.”

And with Grimm gone, you look back on your counterpart, giving a joyful wave with a solemn, sad expression on his face. The charm lay loosely in his hand. And for once, you wonder what he was thinking in that separated mind of his as he left the stage.

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By @ded-lime​

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By @vivifrage​

The wyrm was in tears.

In times like these, it was even harder to remember that the broken, warped Jester dancing around the Troupe’s grounds used to be these lands’ god-king. Cold. Stoic. Unfeeling, many claimed. Ruled by and ruling over pure logic and calculation.

Easily enough disproved with sufficiently annoying input; Grimm’s own memories trotted out tales of delighting in that knowledge over and over. The wyrm was a stick in the mud, a hardass, arrogant and prim and so fun to bother until he was literally incandescent with anger he’d deny up and down and up again.

Yet here the wyrm stood, muddied white carapace given a pink cast from the tent’s fabric all around, tears still slicking the black tracks in his mask, giving them an obsidian shine. And for the life of him, Grimm couldn’t feel that spark of delight in seeing the pale bastard showing some kind of emotion.

(The Heart certainly could, but its smug pulse felt oh-so-alien versus this dismal thing dampening all the rest of his core more thoroughly than any rain could soak an eternally-burning god.)

He couldn’t quite bring himself to a smile, even a polite one, when the Jester hopped over, something clutched tight in one hand. He settled for an inquisitive look, a soft tilt of the head, eyes alert and bright, hands raised in greeting.

The Jester waved back, in that brief moment as cheery and oblivious as ever. But the moment passed, and he hesitated, hands sinking back against his sides, the closed fist kept close to his collar.

Whatever he held, he pressed it to the lower third of his mask, be it in hesitance or reverence.

Or both.

Grimm let him take his time.

It was the least he could do, really. For the both of them. The wyrm to find his words, Grimm to settle the dread rising in his throat. That rather particular sort of dread, too, that one that anticipated an ugly, ugly task.

“Master?” the Jester asked at last, “May I tell you a story?”

“Of course,” Grim said. It was not a lie. It felt like it was.

“Well, once upon a time, there was a- a-” He clicked his fingers together. “Something bright, almost shining. Resplendent. White, white as snow or ash or death. A tree! No, a tree’s root. And she had crystals for eyes, but they’ve long clouded.

“And in exchange for a laugh, a smile, and a goodbye, she told the funniest tragedy. One of two lovers who saw in each other the world, and whose deeds drove them apart. She gave me a token of their story, of their love, and told me to do with it as I will.”

He opened his fist.

Cradled in his palm was half a charm. White, a colder color than even pale ore, so white and with such a sheen that it seemed to cast the tent in winter tones, the most direct reflections twinkling like evening stars. All save for a black stripe cutting across the face, through the hole of the eye, dug through the detail in the same way the marks on the Jester’s and Grimm’s own masks featured their otherwise plain faces.

Grimm’s stomach dropped. He clenched his jaw to keep it from hanging open. Deep within his chest, the Heart sang in shock, confusion, and uncertainty.

That was wrong.

That was so, so very wrong. In so, so many ways. In ways the Jester could not know.

His eyes traced the mark from halved forehead to fractured jawline. That should not be there. It never should have been in the Jester’s hands but that should not be there-

The Heart swallowed his burst of flame-hot anger, echoed it back with the roar of a furnace.

Grimm put on a polite face. It just so happened to bare his teeth.

The wyrm continued.

“Personally, what I would like to do is mug the other half of the other lover’s no-good corpse!” He twittered with laughter in a way the dour king never would have. The sound just made his carapace crawl. “Ah, but that would require finding it, and the Ritual has us so busy, Master. It must be a matter for later fools.

But, in the meantime, I don’t- It hurts. Such a story. It’s cliché, is it not? The doomed lovers? I could tell you six like that with my tongue tied, and I’m sure you could tell me twelve right back, and we’d both laugh at how silly they all are, to think their love could ever be enough. Perhaps it’s something about holding this little trinket but-” He closed his fist again, held it to his throat. When he spoke, his voice was choked, and he pressed two hands to his temples, another two covering his mask. “The sight of her stung my eyes and I drank her words as sorrowful wine, and now my tears fall and my tongue bleeds in all the pretty reds-”

“Jester?”

The wyrm stared at the waiting hand Grimm held out between them, eyes slowly rising to meet his. There was a spark in there, shadowed behind those vacant carvings in the mask, something bright and cold staring back at him. He smiled at it, and let the chill sink into his teeth.

“If it upsets you so, may I hold it for a time? For your respite, of course. I seek no undue pain from my people, and perhaps I could look into this local legend myself, so we could discuss it together. Besides, it is quite the curious artifact, and I would love a closer look.” His hand bobbed, palm up and curved into a perfect receptacle for the little broken charm.

(Well, not perfect. Only two beings in the world had ever had hands for that.)

Wordlessly, the Jester handed it over. It clinked into Grimm’s hand, its weight off-balance in a way that itched at his mind. And, for everything he knew it was, it struck him as so mundane. Like there should have been something to it, holding a wyrm and a root’s wedding charm. Even half of it. But rather, the thing felt…

Dead, it felt dead.

Comatose, at best.

(Or worst.)

(He glanced back at the Jester. The spark had faded from his eyes, replaced with mellow-warm embers.)

(The Heart thudded its relief.)

“Thank you,” he said, and stepped back.

The Jester blinked, visible only as the slightest hint of eyelids moving behind the mask. He stared at his empty palm, touched the tracks of his mask and rubbed the lingering wet he found. “Was I upset?”

He stared up at Grimm, searching his face. “What was I upset about?”

Grimm offered only a shrug before he turned away, and left the Jester standing alone.

“Brumm,” he muttered, clasping the other bug’s shoulder as he passed by, “Prepare a fire. I must commune.”

Brumm hummed in that low, doubtful way he always did when he sensed Grimm was up to something he ought not to ask about directly. “Are you sure you can’t rest for it? I’d not blame you a moment’s respite.”

Grimm paused, reached back, took his wrist and squeezed it gently. “I know. But I must be of clear mind for this.”

His thumb rubbed the halved charm, stroking up and down the new line carved into its face. The Jester’s story turned over in his head, biting in like a sliver of carapace caught between the teeth.

The dread grew sour.

This could not go on.

The Jester didn’t come to dinner. An odd happening; his appetite easily rivaled Divine’s, and he knew it had been suppressed. Allegedly for how recognizable a wyrm trait that was. But also, the Troupe only had so much in their stocks.

Still, a Troupe member in poor state was a Troupe member in poor state, and Grimm sought him out.

He wasn’t hard to find, exactly. Easier than it used to be by far. The Jester was loud, extroverted, and flashy. But even in his quiet moments, he had a pull to him.

No matter his background, though, Grimm should not have found him in the first tent he checked, hidden away under the first curtain he got a suspicious feeling from.

The Heart sank, staring at the Jester’s back as he curled up, sobbing into his hands. Something was going horribly, horribly wrong. The Jester was the dancing fool the wyrm had shown himself to be, that was all. If he cried, it was when something got too close, and Grimm had told the Grimmkin to ensure he stayed very clear of anything that could trigger that again.

Grimm sunk to the floor beside him, letting the curtain fall back into place. It brushed his back, the fabric thick and heavy, and absorbed everything but their breaths and the sound of the wyrm’s sobbing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, with all the fireplace warmth he could muster. His hand ghosted against the Jester’s back, bumping over the rings dangling where wings once laid.

(Going back up, stroking again, this time pressing harder, he swore he felt slight swells where the buds should have been burned out.)

“I don’t know.” Desperation bit through the wyrm’s voice, through all the tears and despondence. He shuddered, sucked in a raspy breath. “I don’t-”

He turned his face away, pressing his knuckles into his eyes. He keened, the low sound of a hurt creature, kept close and intimate by all the fabric they’d hidden in.

Grimm just rubbed his back, and let him find the words.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have. Perhaps he should have taken a more directorial role in this two-bug production, and told the Jester what was going on, what his poor soul ought to be feeling. How he was new to the Troupe, and some of the changes took time to settle in, he would be fine. Most everyone had been upset for at least one Ritual, especially their first, and sometimes it was hard to place those feelings, wasn’t it? It would pass, it would get better, it meant nothing, really. Not in the long run.

And, if his memory ran long, that sometimes stories just struck a chord, but he need not be upset at simple trinkets and tragic stories with doomed lovers. They were all so silly, weren’t they? Thinking that, in the end, their love would matter.

Why, he ought to set all of it out of mind, and come to dinner. Surely he was hungry?

His tongue laid still, his mouth stayed shut.

“I- I miss- I don’t know. Someone? Something? I don’t know. I can’t find them, they’re slipping through my hands every time I reach. But Master-” His voice broke, cracking into a plaintive cry. He clutched at his chest, hands pawing uselessly at the fabric over his heart. “It hurts.”

Grimm clucked his tongue and cooed. His arms wrapped around the Jester, drawing his form, at once limp to his touch and much too tense, close, until he tucked him against his chest. Head held to heart, listening to its steady beat. All four arms wrapped around his abdomen, knees bumping against his thigh, while Grimm held him and drew his wings from their resting place to wrap around them, shielding the Jester even further from the world beyond.

“I’ve got you,” he purred. The side of his jaw brushed against the wyrm’s horns. “I’ll make it better.”

The Jester shifted in his arms, head tilting up til Grimm found himself cradling its back. When he stared down to meet his eyes, he found that spark staring back, cold as ice and with just as sharp an edge. “How?” he asked.

It could have been a coincidence. A slip of the tongue, the familiarity in how he spoke, with a voice like a lone gust of wind trailing through a cavern. The weight to just that one word, the melancholy it steeped in.

Grimm fought the chill clawing at his back to give him a smile. Gently, he rested the wyrm’s head against his chest again, where the Nightmare Heart beat. “A nightmare feels so very real, does it not? As false as it may be?”

(Again, the sickly sweetness of a lie on his tongue.)

The Jester hummed. After a moment, he snuggled close, full body up against Grimm’s, cool against the Troupe Master’s warmth. “I guess.”

“Take your respite, Jester. Let me care for you.” He leaned back as far as he could, letting the Jester’s weight rest on him. “Then we can get dinner, yes? I bet you’re hungry.”

“Oh!” The Jester’s hand curled against his stomach. “Yes, that would be good. But… a moment, first. To catch my breath.”

“Of course.”

Forgetting was the greatest kindness he could offer the Jester, and the cruelest punishment the wyrm deserved. Let his troubles slip his mind. Let him cry and wail for things he didn’t know, acting out grief for the horrors he didn’t know he committed.

But there was not supposed to be such a gouge in the Kingsoul’s face. There was not supposed to be that soul behind his eyes. There were not supposed to be stories of beautiful roots or jokes about horrible wyrms. There were not supposed to be wing buds in the Jester’s back. The side of him that resided within the Nightmare was not supposed to have such a strain in its voice, nor was he supposed to feel the snap of spellwork.

Something was going wrong.

And all he could do was watch and try to stuff the wyrm back into the Jester’s shell.

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By @artisticdragons​

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

Ladies and gentlemen… Tonight, I bring you-

✨🌟MARX HEADCANNONS💫⭐️

Gremlin

Bipolar - One moment he’ll go from growling or cursing someone off to smiling and acting normal before a minute passes. He also tends to have random moments of fear and nervousness before he starts feeling back to normal. He believes that it’s the lingering aftermath effects of his soul form, which is when it started happening.

Has elf ears (IN HIS ANTHRO FORM PLEASE LETS NOT IMAGINE A GRAPE LOOKIN BABY YODA WITH WIDE EYES AND VAMPIRE TEETH)

He’s very creative. If he’s stuck at a bump in the road, he’ll find his way around it in the most peculiar ways you could ever think of (that was a metaphor)

He considers himself straight (heterosexual) he never really experienced attraction toward men, and since Kirby is Non binary and asexual, it still counts to him as hetero

Doesn’t mean he hasn’t kissed a dude before

He doesn’t like talking about it, and he’ll probably rip your head off if you mention it to him in even the slightest way

Prosthetic arms. Magolor made them for him. He covers them with rubber gloves so nobody notices from afar. You’d have to touch his bare arms to really notice, and even then he wouldn’t want you doing that to specifically feel his arms. (He’ll most likely take away your arm privileges)

He spends his free time juggling, blowing up his beach balls, face painting, setting up devious pranks, and other jester things

Prank lord. He commits devious licks with Magolor aaaall the time. It’s only occasional for him to ever go too far, and even then the damage can be easily mended to

One time however, nearly ended with Meta Knight’s Galaxia in his throat (note to self: don’t ever try to leave a banana peel in his unauthorized wake)

He ain’t a clown, for he is the entire circus

He tries to be the big spoon in the relationship, but Kirby always weaves around and Marx always ends up being the wife of the pair

He’s head over heels for roses, especially the red ones. He gives them to Kirby a lot, but he lights up like a firework whenever Kirby (or anyone special) gets them for him

Experienced in flirting. Although, instead of cringey, cheesy flirts, he mostly relies on comedic pick up lines that’ll make your funny bone tingle

Ain’t no ladies man, that’s for sure, but he’s a total bro and can get along with almost anyone, despite coming off as annoying, wild, and unsettling or even Jack-wild crazy

When you’re feeling down, he’ll tell you a friendly joke or two. If that doesn’t work, then he’ll offer you a rose or maybe buy you an ice cream, and another for himself because: “guess what m8 I want ice cream too”

He gets a little agitated and a teeny bit aggressive when he’s hungry. Remember, he’ll be your best friend if you keep him well fed!

When he gets agitated or nervous, his eyes start twitching or he fiddles his fingers. It’s not too bad to where it’s aggravating but it’s still noticeable. It’s because of this that he’s usually bad at hiding his nervousness or fear

He has a few issues with his parents. They never abused, neglected him or anything like that , but they isolated him during his early childhood because of how naive they always were of the world. They’re a couple of pussies, you see. He grew up with no friends - except for Gryll, but even then she turned out to be a bitch later on, sooo…

Despite that, he still wants to see his parents again and see how they’re doing. But he’s never been able to find them.

His childhood trauma (isolation) is why he has a few flaws in communication, and can come off as off putting and morbid-humored when you first meet him.

A lot of his jokes are morbid and he uses them as a shitty coping mechanism. Even though early isolation didn’t really scar him, his past relationship with Gryll sure did.

Someone get this dude therapy

Like, he’s only fucking 17 Jesus Christ almighty

And 5,6 feet lol

Some of his jokes are ass-aching hilarious tho lmao

He speaks Spanish very fluently. Meta Knight had to do a double take when he heard the jester say it. Marx also knows a bit of Italian, and he maybe accidentally summoned a demon back when was still learning how to speak it. Mario and Luigi also had to do a double take upon finding out his multi language skills during smash bros

He first fought Kirby when he was like 11 years old and returned to Popstar when he was like 16, about 5 months before Kirby Star Allies took place

He lives with Magolor in the Lor Starcutter

He’ll probably start laughing in inappropriate situations until he realizes, yeah, it’s not a joke

He works at castle Dedede as both a jester, psychological warfare, and as one of the strongest forms of security in castle Dedede (they only use him in a last effort situation, so if they need him they’ll be like “RELEASE THE JESTER!”)

He’s strong af - not physically but magically; his skills have to be put to good use after all

There are some people who rumor him to be a psychopath. While some of his companions find it to be insulting and rude, Marx just laughs it off. Him? Psychopath? Bitch please. Wait till you here about his ex!

The communists jokes are getting a liiiittle bland. No, seriously, he’s THIS close to fucking strangling the bright sunny day out of somebody if he hears someone call him a commie one more time.

His last ex was Gryll. His ex before that, Meredith - Magolor’s younger and only sister. Unlike Gryll, Meredith provided Marx a much healthier relationship and a means of support. And even if they’re not in love anymore, they’re still close friends and they trust each other a whole lot

He loves kids. He’s a natural with em, yknow? He’ll entertain them by doing tricks, imitating and doing impressions of popular children’s mascots, and sometimes he’ll even have candy for them! Some may think it’s because he’s a jester, and because of that he’s supposed to tolerate children and shit, but it’s mostly because of the fact that he’s fond of their childlike wonder and enthusiasm, as he had barely as a kid himself due to having no friends and was always spoon fed a darker perspective of the world by his parents

Don’t worry, he’s a trustworthy guy around them. In fact, he also acts like their body guard a lot. Once he chased off a seedy prick who was acting suspicious towards a kid. Promise you this: Marx let that shithead off easy.

If you’re dating him (or just normal friends with him) he’ll get very physically affectionate. He’ll hold your hand, either give or get piggy back rides, give you right hugs, and sometimes even forehead kisses when he’s really happy or if you're feeling down. Return that forehead kissy back, you monster >:C

Flexible. af. Does this hoe even have a spine? Like, seriously, what he’s able to stunt on the yoga mat looks like something straight out of a horror movie. Jesus Christ. He should probably audition for one since he also likes acting and theatrical drama performance

He can get a little out of hand when he’s mad. He gets very aggressive, sadistic, and you’re gonna have to hold him back or calm him down, else you’re gonna have to bury someone 6 feet under. If you haven’t taken a guess, then it’s the aftermath effects of his soul form.

Other after effects include: sudden fidgeting, random and unexpected outbursts that last for only about a millisecond or two, sudden fits of giggling or grinning from ear to ear for no genuine reason, sudden aches and dull pains, and his mind just rebooting on him and leaving him confused.

Speaking of soul form, he can still do that scream he did when he was defeated by Kirby. He’d only use it for a war cry and a last resort to call for help. He can also still do the split-in-half technique; he does it during major performances a lot. He tries not to do it whenever Kirby’s around because he’s aware of the trauma he inflicted on ya boi

He can’t stay still for a second. If you’re able to keep him still for longer than a minute, he’ll be sure to get visibly impatient

May know about a prestigious, French accented dimension hopping magician, a chaotic carousel jokester who’s been behind bars and is also bipolar, a stretchy limb - gothic makeup having ass pink chick with pigtails, a sexually attractive robot imp from hell, another pink lady with tons of regret and trauma and has a major baking and party throwing hobby, and a young girl whose names starts with “screw” and ends with “ball”

Smells like a salted pastry

Because he loves pastries, and sweets, and food!

Vampire teeth

(I wrote this within a google doc instead of just blindly typing it out on here like I did with Magolor’s. Therefore, I gonna use the same tactic with every other headcannon sheet I do. Thank you all for reading this!)

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 32 (01/10/21)

Brody was missing from this session so Joker filled in for him.

(also, as weird as this sounds, cw for mentions of blood IRL)

…

Astro: Joker, do you wanna vouch for me that I didn’t kill this person? Joker: Astro and Skizz didn’t, but Astro was thinking about it. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth. Etho: We all have those thoughts though.

...

Impulse: I will admit, I have a weird new role that I don’t know what it means. Astro: Poisoner? Impulse, the poisoner: No. Skizz: Jerkface McJerkyton? That’s not new.

...

*Evil and Skizz are accusing each other, Astro is the deciding vote* Astro: I have a question. Give me a number between one and twenty. Skizz first. Skizz: Wow. I go first? Astro: Yup. Skizz: Uhh… ten. Astro: Okay. Evil? Evil: Eighteen. Astro: By the… laws of the… averages, uh… *votes* Sorry, Evil.

...

Joker: I’d like to make an announcement. Skizz: Go. Joker: I’m not friends with Skizz anymore. He marinated me. I’m not talking to him anymore, so if someone can tell Skizz this information, that’d be great. Skizz, laughing: Impulse, if you could tell the Joker I don’t care.

...

Etho: I trust Evil the most this round. Evil: ...and I’m not sure I trust you, Etho. Impulse: Ooooohhh. Spicy.

...

Evil: -and when I came back up, Pearl was dead. And I only heard one other voice. And he’s a very slippery fruit. Endless: Oh dear. Impulse: Apples are slippery too. It wasn’t me, though. Tango: Go slip on an apple! Endless: I was reading way too much into that statement, okay, let’s go.

...

Impulse: I was heading to the microwave in the cafeteria to cook a burrito. Skizz: Was it bacon and egg or bean and cheese? This matters. Impulse: I didn’t make it to the cafeteria cuz this got called. Tango: How do you know it was a burrito, then? Skizz: OOHOOHOOO. VOTING IMPULSE. Impulse: Cuz that’s what I’m hungry for! Allow me to dream!

...

Joker: I was there with the body. It was Endless. The last thing he said, and I quote: “Joker is amazing. And I’m sorry that I have to die.” Impulse: Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it. Joker: That’s what he said. I held his body as he died and that was the last thing he said. *pause* Joker: He also said “make sure to let everybody know that Skizz smells like poop.” Skizz: Ah, there it is.

...

Tango: Voting Skizz. Skizz: Whoa! Impulse: Was Skizz on the stack? Etho? Skizz: I was several steps away from it. Tango: I dunno, Skizz deserves to be voted off. Joker: I mean, I have to agree with that.

...

*Skizz cut his foot on broken glass during the break* Endless: Not gonna lie, my wife would kill me if that happened. She’d be like “yeah I’m sorry about your foot but what’d you do to the carpet?” Tango: Yeah, you heal; the carpet doesn’t.

...

Impulse: Think we might have to go another round without Skizz. Joker: Are they gonna have to amputate? Impulse: Probably. Joker: Yeah, I’d imagine so. Impulse: Be cool if he got one of those peg legs. Joker: I think he’s got an extra foot in his mouth, so he can use that. Evil: Wow… Impulse, snickering: Brutal. Joker: Was- Was that too soon? Impulse: Too soon, too soon. I mean, the dude’s still bleeding, you know?

...

Tango: Is Skizz back? Skizz: I’m back. Tango: Eyyyy, Skizzleblood! Skizz: Dude, I cleaned up all the glass, I cleaned up all the blood- Tango: Tell me it’s like a crime scene in your living room right now, that’s all I wanna hear. Skizz: -and then I made myself a drink and I’m coming up the stairs - I have tile stairs - and I’m like “oh there’s blood all over the stairs- I’ll get that later.” Tango: YEAH! Priorities! That’s what I like to hear!

...

*Skizz’s colour has turned from blue to grey due to a glitch* Tango: So Skizz, you’ve been grey. Skizz: I got- I got nothin’. Tango: Did you- How much blood did you lose? Are you turning into a- Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Zombieeeee.

...

*body is reported* Tango: I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! *pause* Endless: Congratulations? Tango: I PIPED!

...

Joker: If Tango could just finish his pipe dream earlier, the game would’ve been over. Tango: Is there a kick feature in this game? Just curious, asking for a friend. Endless: Yeah, if you go into the chat, there’s a boot option. Tango: OH! Joker: Endless. Shut up.

...

Evil: Do we wanna switch maps and see if there’s more stability? Tango: Yes. I’m done with this map. Impulse: But I just took pictures! Tango: Can we play, like, the real map? Impulse: I got kicked off the ship for taking those pictures! Joker: Whoa. I dunno what I just walked into but that did not sound right. Endless, overlapping: Yeah, I’ve been there. That’s- That is not something you want on your record.

...

*Impulse saw Tango morph back from being yellow* Impulse: *calls meeting* Impulse: What’s it like when an apple tries to become a banana? Skizz: Ooh, it’s like a smoothie! Endless, chuckling: What? Skizz, in a funny voice: Put a little blueberry in there. Tango: We got a little fruit action going on there or what? Joker: How much blood did you lose, Skizz? You feeling okay?

...

Skizz: Etho. Say words. I like your voice. Etho: What’s up, buddy? What do you want to know? Skizz: I wanna know why you killed sweet Pearl. Etho: Which round? Skizz: Ohohh man. THIS round! Body’s not even cold!

...

Astro: We’re trying for our first task win. Oh, unless Joker’s not gonna do his task. Joker: I- Uh… What, Astro? Astro: Huh? What? What? Where? Huh? Joker: Tasks?

...

Skizz: Who is not doing their tasks?! What IS that? Astro: I’ll give you seven guesses. Skizz: Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker. Joker: Someone called? Skizz: Are you- Are you not- Do you have tasks, Jokes? *long pause* Joker: Um… Are we talking about like, around my house? Skizz: *sighs* Okay.

...

Joker:*reports a body* Joker: OH I found this! Impulse: *laughs* “Oh I found this”? Joker, also laughing: I don’t know why I said it that way.

...

Skizz: Can you do your last task? Cuz that would just be super. Joker: Yeah, Endless. Can you do your last task? Endless: My tasks are done, dude! Joker: Oh. Then I guess you don’t need to do it. Skizz, why are you asking him to do his last task? Skizz: Talking to YOU, Jokes.

...

*Mrs Tango’s body is reported* Endless: It’s just Mrs Tango, let’s move on. Joker: That’s rude, Endless. Endless: Skipping. Moving on.

...

Endless: Whoever killed Mrs Tango, you’ve got my full support. Joker: Endless. Stop it.

...

Impulse: I wonder if Endless and Evil were both imposters and they were trying to cover it up by having a fake conversation in the upper left engine. Evil: No, it was a conversation about the fact that I miss him. Impulse: Yeaaaaah, that felt strange. Like, nobody misses Endless ever. Skizz: Yeah that’s definitely fake. Impulse: That’s what sold me, dude. I was like there’s no way he’s giving him compliments.

...

Skizz: I love you buddy but I just- I’m not even gonna vote for you, I just want to put some sus because- Impulse: You’re wrong. You’re wrong; you lost too much blood. You’re wrong. Skizz: That could be it. That could be it. Impulse: You’ve admitted that you’re off tonight, right? Skizz: No I didn’t, I’ve been crushing it. I was off on Etho ONE time and it got me a little- It shook my confidence. Impulse: Get me voted off, Skizz. I want your confidence to be crushed. Skizz: Oh…

...

Joker: You know what, I just wanna vote Endles out cuz I’m getting tired of his… poop. Endless: Do it, let’s do it. Etho: He might be jester. Endless, in an ominous whisper: Yesss, I’m jester.

...

*Joker is ejected* Endless: If this is wrong, we’re never gonna finish this game. Joker: Nope. You’re not. Now you gotta figure it out. Skizz: If we’re wrong, you gotta [do your tasks]. Do it for me. Oh, that was never gonna sell him.

...

Skizz: I think Impulse might be jester, I think the imposters are Etho and Evil, and the only legit people are me and Pearl. Impulse: *gasps* Evil: Wrong. Skizz, you are so wrong. Skizz: I KNOW I AM; I CAN’T DO THIS GAME ANYMORE! I WAS SO GOOD WHEN WE STARTED! I HATE THIS GAME! Pearl: You are wonderfully right, I had my hand on that scanner. Skizz: I BELIEVE PEARLY POP! VOTING EVIL!

...

Skizz: Hey! Tango! Why is Joker done with his tasks like three weeks before you? Tango: I dunno, man. I don’t know what’s happening right now. Joker: Yeah! Yeah! How’s that, huh?! How about now, sucker?! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Joker: I- I dunno, I felt… I felt vindicated for some reason.

[forzalando]

The Perfect Arrangement | George Weasley | Pt. 2

Pairing: George Weasley x F!Reader AU: Bridgerton!AU Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: Bridgerton spoilers, a gross man stepping into your personal space, definitely not historically accurate bc i never mention chaperones 

Summary: As a woman in the early 19th century, you’ve been told all your life that marriage should be your ultimate goal, however, you do not share that sentiment. When the insufferable George Weasley devises a plan that may solve both your problems, how can you say no?

A/N: woohoo, part 2 is here!! not a whole lot of drama/interaction between George and the reader but some necessary developments. plus! Eloise! my favorite lady! as always, thank you so much for reading💛

“George, everyone is staring at us,” you whispered as you took his arm.

“Well, we are the most attractive couple promenading this morning, don’t you think?”

You stifled a laugh; partly because you didn’t want to draw more attention to yourself and partly because George’s ego was large enough without knowing you thought he was funny.

“Should I glare at the men staring at you? Let them know that they don’t have even an ounce of a chance?” George asked.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” you mused. “However, I don’t know how your sister would feel if every eligible man in the ton held disdain for her older brother.”

“Oh, please,” George scoffed. “You know as well as I do that Ginny is marrying Harry, it’s just a matter of time.”

You hummed in agreement, though slightly distracted by the way George held you so close. It was unnerving how comfortable you felt with him; most men had always made you uncomfortable, but never George. Even though he was incorrigible, garish, and irritatingly handsome, he never made you feel anything but at ease.

“Lord Beverly is approaching us,” George whispered, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Quick, say something funny and make me laugh, maybe he will turn around.”

“I’m not your jester, nor can I make you laugh on command. Comedy is derived from opportunity, and here, I have none, just your orders.”

“Now we’re quarreling, he’s walking even faster.”

“That’s your fault for acting like my sense of humor is at your beck and call!”

You turned sharply to face him; a scowl settled on your face and nostrils flaring. He was looking at you the same, with his eyes narrowed and a slight blush on his cheeks, whether it was from the summer heat or anger you couldn’t be sure. George opened his mouth to speak again, when someone interrupted him.

“Is this why you wouldn’t give me the honor of a dance at the Danbury ball, Miss Y/L/N?”

Lord Beverly was stood directly in your path, his hands clasped behind his back and a smarmy  smile on his face. He may have been handsome, but Philip Beverly was as horrid as men came.

“I do apologize, Lord Beverly,” you retorted, sickly sweet. “Mr. Weasley has been the object of my affections for quite some time now and I simply could not bring myself to imagine myself with anyone but him all night.”

You looked up at George and smiled, staring into the warmth of his eyes and heaving a dramatic sigh; one you hoped was the sigh of a woman in love.

“Yes, I suppose I understand your trepidation,” Lord Beverly scowled. “However, I have been speaking with your father this morning and I believe Mr. Weasley has not yet proposed, is that correct? Lord Y/L/N made it quite clear he has not received any mentions of a proposal.”

“Why, yes, of course he hasn’t. He has barely begun courting me, the season only began a week or so ago.”

“You’ve known each other for years, surely you must know by now if you are to propose, Mr. Weasley?”

George looked to you for guidance, just as confused as you at the interrogation taking place between the two of you and Beverly.

“As Miss Y/L/N said before, we’ve barely begun courting. I have always had the intention of marrying her, ever since we were children, but I wanted to make sure we are comfortable as partners, not just friends.”

“I am quite wealthy, you know,” Beverly reminded. “My family has considerably higher standing than the Weasley’s and there is so much more I could offer you than he can, Y/N.”

Lord Beverly took a step towards you, completely ignoring George standing beside you, but before you could ask him to step away, George thrust himself in between the two of you.

“If you ever so much as look at my future wife again, I assure you that you will see just how much influence my family has, Lord Beverly,” George spat. “You flaunt your money, your perceived power, when I have friends in much higher places than you could ever dare to dream.”

Philip backed away; his ever present smirk still adorning his face but he could not hide the glint of fear in his eyes.

“Well, I suppose I’ll be on my way,” Beverly grimaced.

“Yes, you shall,” George responded with a glare that would frighten even the most courageous of men.

As soon as Lord Beverly was out of earshot, you breathed out deeply. There was something about that man that made your skin crawl, more so than the other slimy, rich men of the ton.

You laughed quietly, and kept laughing until you were in a fit of giggles, prompting George to look at you quizzically.

“Y/N, what could possibly be so funny about being accosted by that scum?”

“I’m not entirely sure, I just find it amusing how intimidating you can be when you really try. You should be an actor, you know.”

“An actor? Why do you think so?”

“You played the part of a jealous lover far better than I ever could. One might believe you’re actually in love with me,” you snickered.

If you had looked at George for even a moment after your joke, you would have seen the hurt expression flash across his face. He tried to keep it at bay, but the reminder of the nature of your relationship ate at him far more than he imagined.

He had convinced himself that in time, your feelings for him would grow; how could they not when he was so sure that you were soulmates? Destined to be together for the rest of your lives? In doing so, he never stopped to think of the consequences of his actions if you were to never return his affections.

George began to wonder if his heart could bear it, because every time he looked at you and saw your beautiful smile, he felt it breaking piece by piece.

“What do you say to that, Weasley?” you asked with a smile, breaking George from his thoughts.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I was distracted, what were you saying?”

“Pay attention, Georgie, otherwise you might lose your only current prospect for marriage.”

“You’re my only prospect, period, not just current,” he chuckled.

For a moment, you allowed yourself to believe the weight behind his words was truthful, that your courtship was real and true. You’d convinced yourself for years that you held George Weasley in no higher regard than an acquaintance, but at any given moment where you were in the same room you always found your way to each other; bantering back and forth that, to an outsider, must have looked like disdain, but in your heart you knew that you held him at arm’s length to keep yourself from falling.

It had only been a week since the Danbury ball, but spending every day in secret with George (the two of you weren’t quite ready to announce to the public yet until today) and getting to know him as more than just a friend had opened your heart to frightening feelings that you shoved aside.

George Weasley had always wanted to marry for love, an ideal that you never allowed yourself to believe in and now, he was to marry you only because the true object of his affection was not an option.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. Does that…does that bother you? Do you have any regrets about what you asked me?”

“I’m not sure yet,” George whispered, dropping your hand that he had held so tightly the entire morning.

No, you simply couldn’t allow yourself to entertain the foolish fantasy of feelings, not when you had the sole responsibility of taking care of your own heart.

“Walk me home, please, Mr. Weasley.”

“As you wish, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” cried a familiar voice from across the street.

You turned with a smile to see Eloise making her way towards you, her journal in hand as always.

“Thank you for walking me home, George, you can be on your way. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for the Norrington soiree, correct?”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Have a lovely day, Miss Y/L/N.”

He quickly raised your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Even though you were cross with him, you smiled shyly at the feeling of his lips on your hand, though it slowly faded away as you realized it was all a show for the audience on the street.

As Eloise hurried to you, you couldn’t help but watch George’s back as he walked down the cobblestones towards his own home.

“How dare you? I had to hear from gossiping mother hens this morning that George Weasley is formally courting you? Not only that, but he plans to propose to you? What happened to never marrying? Does your family know? The whole ton has been talking about it!”

“I – I don’t understand, this morning was our first outing together, I’ve just been spending time with him at his family’s home. How could anyone possibly know – ”

You paused, remembering your conversation with Lord Beverly earlier that morning.

“Oh, for goodness sake. Lord Beverly went to my father this morning while I was out with George, asking about proposing to me.”

“LORD BEVERLY?” Eloise shouted, interrupting your explanation.

“Yes, I know. A horrid man, but I don’t believe he will be bothering me any longer. George practically had him running away in fear but, as I was saying, Lord Beverly went to my father and of course I haven’t told my parents of our marriage plans yet, we’ve only just begun courting, so Papa told Beverly that I have no prospects. He approached George and I on our promenade, and practically interrogated us! One thing led to another and George expressed his desire to propose and, well, here we are. Beverly must have opened his mouth and now everyone in town knows.”

Eloise stared at you blankly, her wide eyes blinking rapidly trying to process all that you had just told her.

“Are you in love with George?”

“It appears so…”

You hated lying to her, but you and George hadn’t discussed if you would ever tell anyone and who you trusted to tell in the first place.

“Well, it’s about time!” Eloise yelled in your ear.

“I – excuse me?”

“Oh, you can’t possibly tell me you’ve been oblivious to his feelings all these years. And your own! It’s been painful watching you drone on and on about how you’ll never marry when he’s been right in front of you since we were children.”

“Eloise, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean, he’s courting you and is planning to propose, what is there to misunderstand?”

“Quite a lot, if I’m being honest.”

Eloise saw the guilty look on your face and immediately her jaw dropped, memories of her sister and the Duke clouding her thoughts.

“Of all the lousy schemes to get yourself involved in, Y/N, I cannot believe you. It’s all a ruse?! Is this a common theme with the prized debutante of the season, am I missing something?”

“Quiet yourself, Eloise! It’s quite simple, George cannot marry the woman he loves and I do not wish to marry. We get along fairly well and have things in common. We figured it would be to both of our advantages if we married each other and were able to live our lives as we please without people breathing down our necks about marriage.”

“You are truly oblivious, Y/N.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“George Weasley has loved you for years, I didn’t think it was a secret. The only issue is that you’re too stubborn to look past this aversion to happiness you’ve been harboring.”

“Education makes me happy. Traveling the world would make me happy. My own wants and desires make me happy. I don’t need a man or love to be happy, I thought you of all people would understand, Eloise.”

“I do understand, and because I do, doesn’t that make what I say all the more believable?”

Your reply got caught in your throat, the weight of Eloise’s words left a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“I see the way you look at him, Y/N,” she continued. “You’ve convinced yourself so greatly that there isn’t a man who will love you for who you are that you’re blind to your own affections and the fact that there is a man who loves you exactly as you stand before me. You’re just afraid. I never thought I would call you a coward – ”

“That is quite enough, Eloise,” you snapped.

“I will relish in saying ‘I told you so,” she quipped back.

You watched her turn swiftly and did the same; stalking into the courtyard and up the stairs to your own home, all the while pondering the words you had shared with Eloise.

Secretly, in the depths of your heart where you never dared to venture, you hoped that she was right about George’s feelings for you, and that thought scared you more than anything.

taglist: @theweasleyslut​ @vivacesole​ @weasleyclaw​ @nuttytani-reblogs​ @theweasleysredhair​ @hufflepuffbaby9​ @theboywhocriedlupin​ @swellwriting​ @fortisfiliae​ @thoseofgreatambition​ @woakiees​ @wildfire-whizbangs​ @gcdric​ @cherrycolakxsses @amhyeah​ @62442-am​ @letsgotothehop​ @emrysts​ @fuckoffthanos​ @uponashelf​ @confusedpretzel @theghost1345 @justalittleweirdoo​ @evermoreweasley​ @feminafatales​

please let me know if you’d like to be added to the bridgerton series taglist or my permanent taglist!! if your URL is bolded, i was unable to tag you!

[stasammenarchive]

General

Full Name: Redom Gioia Nickname: Reed Other Nicknames: Pinkie, (Alberto (timberfell)) Fragola (Alberto (timberfell) Age: 14 Gender: Female (MTF) Place of Birth: Florence, Italy Birthday: April 15th 1948 Currently living in: Portorosso, Italy Species: Human Ethnicity: White Italian Blood Type: A+ Romantic Orientation: Panromantic Social Status: Working Class

Appearance

Body Build: Slender Height: 5’3” Skin colour: Tanned Hair style: Natural hair is short, reaches up to just above her shoulders and is quite bouncy and curly. Her wig is long, sleek and lightly curled, and reaches her mid-back, framing her face. Hair colour: Naturally blonde. Wears a pink wig / dyed pink in the future Eye colour: Green / Pink contacts Distinguishing Features: Mole underneath her right eye, usually wearing a pink wig. Preferred Clothing: comfortable monochromatic clothes, typically black and white - comfortable in skirts, trousers or shorts. Tends to wear flip flops and comfortable yet cute shirts. Accessories: Always has a black cloth choker around her neck. Also wears anything heart or strawberry shaped.

Mental/Emotional State

Archetype: The Jester Myers-Briggs: ESTP Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good Temperament: Sanguine Act before thinking/Think before acting?: Acts before thinking Emotion-wise, generally: Positive, Happy and Upbeat

Likes/Dislikes

Likes: Magic, Cryptids, Gelato, Bike Riding, Comics, Practical Jokes, Heart Accessories, Strawberries, Dancing, Birds, Pink Hair. Cosmetology Dislikes: Bullies, Styrofoam, Mushrooms, Clowns, Being Cornered, Alcohol, Clams, Being Misgendered, Being without her wig

Hobbies

Reading about Cryptids, Performing Magic Tricks, Rock Climbing, Making Jewelry, Making Nail Art, Collecting Heart Shaped Items, Cooking

Habits

Picking at Nail Beds, Biting Inside of her Cheek, Wrinkles Nose when Confused, Rocking back on Heels, Twirling the hair of her wig around a finger

Strengths/Weaknesses

Strengths: Brave, Funny, Energetic, Charismatic, Forgiving, Curious, Dedicated Weakness: Swimming, Impulsive, Reckless, Impatient, Nosy, Insistent

Favourites

Food: Struffoli Colour: Pink Animal: Cockatoo Number: 16 Holiday: Christmas Season: Summer Time of day: Morning

History

(TW: domestic abuse, child abuse, mention of dysphoria)

Reed was born Redom Altamura in 1948 to Carlotta and Niccolò Altamura in Florence, Italy. Born male, Reed had a standard life, though her father was exceptionally hard on her, wanting her to succeed at everything, and pushing her beyond her limits and what she was comfortable with. He had a drinking problem, and was known when he drank to get violent with his wife. Given the time period, she stuck out the abuse, doing her best to protect Reed from her father’s ire. He never laid a hand on her to begin with, content with simply shouting at her and pressuring her to work harder.

Reed was always quiet, keeping to herself and not making many friends, having unusual interests and being seen as a little ‘odd’ to her peers. She tended to stand out, and that frequently made her the target of bullies. Her father would constantly tell her to stand up for himself, and so, Reed would get into fights at times in self defense, getting in trouble time and time again. It was one of the many things bothering Reed about her life in Florence, but the other issue was much bigger.

All her life, Reed had felt as though something in her body wasn’t quite right, feeling disconnected from the person she was, but as she hit her teens, seeing girls in the city in their pretty clothes and colours, it began to hit her.. She felt as though she WAS a girl.. As though she hadn’t been born in the right body. It was an issue she struggled with for some time, trying to make sense of the conflicting feelings inside of her that she didn’t understand or comprehend fully. Eventually, when she was thirteen, she found the courage to admit to her mother that she felt as though she were a girl stuck in the body of a boy.

Carlotta encouraged Reed to not tell her father about this bit of information, as she knew that he couldn’t and wouldn’t understand it. Carlotta herself didn’t understand fully what Reed meant, but she did her best to be supportive, if she could. She began to secretly buy her daughter ‘feminine’ clothes to try on in secret, and Reed began to let her hair grow out instead of having it cut. When she was alone, Reed felt like she could truly be her authentic self. She wore the clothes her mother got for her, even started practicing applying make-up, the way she had seen other girls do in the city.

One day, however, Niccolò returned from drinking at the bar early, and Reed was unaware, happily playing music in her bedroom. Her father entered in order to tell her to turn the music down, and upon seeing who he perceived to be his son in women’s clothing, flew into a rage. It was the first time that Niccolò had ever hit Reed, and she was beaten quite severely. Carlotta, hearing the violence, rushed to her daughter's aid and took a large brunt of the beatings, and when he was done, and stormed out of the house, Carlotta shakily tried to comfort Reed, and told her to pack up what she wanted to keep the most. They were leaving.

Leaving before Niccolò returned home, Reed and Carlotta took their things and made their way to Carlotta's parents home, just outside of Florence. It was a temporary arrangement, until Carlotta could find somewhere new for them to live, though Reed didn't mind it. She loved her grandparents, though she didn't touch her 'girl clothes' while she was with them, still traumatized from her father's reaction to them. The peace, however, couldn't last.

Soon enough, Niccolò found where they were staying and began to stalk them both. He would wait outside of the school gates for Reed, send flowers to the school for Carlotta, posted letters to them both  and would occasionally stand outside Reed's grandparents house. Reed and Carlotta were terrified and Carlotta knew she needed to get them out of Florence, quickly. In her searching, Carlotta found a small little town called Portorosso, a fishing town, which was quite a journey from Florence.. from everything and everyone that Reed had ever known. A fresh start. The two of them changed their surnames to Gioia and began the journey to Portorosso.

With no one who knew her as Redom save for her mother, she took on a new name, Reed, and began to fully present as female all the time. Her still short hair, however, made her feel.. self conscious and uneasy, worried people would call her out as being a boy. To try to help Reed through the transitional period until her hair got longer, Carlotta offered to buy her daughter a wig, and delighted, Reed chose one she fell in love with: long, luscious and pink. She decided quickly that she didn't want to be seen without it, and it became a permanent fixture of her style.

Arriving in Portorosso, Reed was struck by just how small it was, and yet it felt cozy and comfortable. Carlotta got a job at the school just outside the town borders, and also took on an extra job at one of the local bars.(ie. cafè) Reed often helped out at times, wanting to help ease some of the pressures from her mother's shoulders. Now, she's beginning to settle into life in the town, finding it quaint and charming. It isn't perfect, but it's definitely better than what she left behind.

Personality

Now that Reed no longer has to hide who she really is, she is lively and outgoing, full of mirth and laughter. There is nothing she loves more than being with the people she considers to be her friends, and finds herself being unapologetically herself, no matter how weird that person might be  She has an outpouring of chaotic energy and loves to cause a bit of trouble from time to time, though she normally knows when to draw the line… not always, however.

If she is taunted or goaded, it can cause her to lose any shred of rationality she had left in her mind, which causes her to act recklessly and without thinking, out of a desire to prove others wrong, and a need to prove herself.

She is extremely loyal to those she loves, putting everything she has into protecting and caring for them. All she wants to do is to be there for the people she loves, and she worries about them, never wanting them to suffer the way she has suffered, or worse.

Her interests can be a little.. quirky to put it mildly, loving the idea of cryptids and the mysterious, making little beaded jewelry and performing magic tricks she learned from her grandfather. She loves to perform and make others laugh.. bringing joy to those around her makes her happy, too. All in all, she just wants to have FUN, and be authentic and true to herself.

Relationships

Family: Carlotta Gioia (mother), Niccolò Altamura (father, estranged) Love interests: Alberto Scorfano, Hiro Hamada, Camilo Madrigal (timberfell) (verse dependent) Friends/Allies: Luca Paguro, Giulia Marcovaldo, Massimo Marcovaldo, Gabriele Capasanta (Best Friend), Mirabel Madrigal, Ercole Visconti (reluctantly)(verse dependent) Enemies: Ercole Visconti (verse dependent) Pets: Ammiro (Galah Cockatoo)

[bloodyshadow1]

Beauyasha week Day 3: Scars

You're Worth Trying to be Better For

I did metaphorical scars for today's prompt, not much more to say. Hope you like it, more prompts on their way, at least 1 more, though I'll do my best to write more. If you like my work and feel like encouraging me to write more, leave a comment if you want. They help more than you know

“Hey Yash,” Beau said calling after her girlfriend. They had just dealt with a band of giant spiders that was plaguing a small town in the southern parts of the Empire. It wasn’t a hard fight, not after the year they had, but for most normal people they could have been a problem.

Beau was worried, her girlfriend had been distant the last few days, even quieter and withdrawn than usual. Beau didn’t want to push her, she didn’t have a lot of experience being a girlfriend and didn’t think forcing Yasha to talk about things would help. But now that she wasn’t even scavenging parts of the dead spider’s to eat as a snack later Beau knew something was wrong.

So when Caleb created the tower for the night, Beau moved to talk to Yasha in private. The barbarian didn’t even come to dinner with the rest of them, she just retreated to her room in the tower without saying a word. She had barely used it since they became girlfriends, most nights they spent together in Beau’s room. But the last few days they both slept alone, Beau respecting Yasha’s privacy up until now.

Beau knocked on the door, there wasn’t an answer, but the door opened all the same. She saw Yasha sitting on her bed, just staring at her wildflower mural turned away from the door. “Yasha,” Beau said again, more pleading this time as she tried to keep her heart from breaking.

Yasha didn’t say anything but she did stop and turn around to look at her. Her eyes were distant and unfeeling, like they had been when they first met and Beau was trying to ignore the pain. She was already doomed, in the, ‘when she’s hurting I’m hurting,’ phase of their relationship.

“I’ve tried to give you space,” Beau said inching closer, “I really have. But you’ve been so closed off the last couple days. If I’ve done something wrong, I’m sorry, please just tell me so I can fix it,” she begged.

That got a reaction of Yasha, “what are you talking about,” she asked unsure of what Beau meant. Her voice was rougher than usual, after not being used for days it came out even more gravelly.

“Y-you’ve been so distant and quiet,” Beau said softly, not trying to agitate Yasha, trying to not sound too accusing. “I figured it must be something I did, so please just tell me so I can make it right.”

It all came crashing down to Yasha, it wasn’t about Beau, but it wasn’t not about her either. Yasha knew, a part of her at least, knew that Beau for all her strength, and beauty, and brilliance, was incredibly fragile. In their time together, Yasha had done her best to make Beau feel as loved as she deserved to mitigate the damage her family had done to her. No wonder she’s like this, Yasha withdrawing, instantly translated into her doing something wrong.

“Beau,” Yasha said softly, “come here,” she patted a spot next to her on the bed.

Beau moved slowly to sit down at Yasha’s side, not wanting to say or do anything to upset the larger woman. Beau knew it had to be something she did, it was always something she did.

“Beau,” Yasha said with her hand on Beau’s chin so her girlfriend would look at her, “you did nothing wrong, I promise.”

Beau was a damn good liar, that helped her know when people were lying to her. She knew in her very soul that Yasha, tall, powerful, beautiful Yasha wasn't lying to her. There wasn’t a trace of falsehood in her violet and green eyes. “T-then why,” Beau started to ask but couldn’t form the words.

“It’s not because of you Beau,” Yasha said feeling ashamed she had put her girlfriend through, “it’s because of me. A few days ago, I had a dream and it bothered me,” that was an understatement if there ever was one. She turned away from Beau, staring into her beloved’s face would make it harder to formulate her thoughts, Beau had the right way of making her mind leave her in all the best ways.

“Was it, you know,... Obann,” Beau asked carefully. Yasha had spoken the the party about her time under Obann’s control, but she knew it was still some of the worst time in Yasha’s life under his control.

“No, I haven’t dreamed about him in a long time, thankfully,” Yasha said struggling. Beau deserved to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt. “It wasn’t a nightmare, it was a good dream, a very good dream,” she said more to the room than to Beau.

“Well…, that’s good, right,” Beau said, knowing the answer. Yasha wouldn’t have been so distant if it was a good thing.

“The dream was good,” Yasha said gripping her hands, her knuckles turning white, “it was of Zuala.” Even after all this time it hurt to say her name.

“Oh,” Beau didn’t know what to say, she knew Yasha was married before, that her tribe killed her and she ran away. But she barely mentioned her and Beau didn’t want to pry. “Well I mean that’s normal, she was a huge part of your life, I’m sure you have a lot of good memories of her.”

“I didn’t dream of our past Beau,” Yasha said, the words coming out like a curse. When Beau didn’t say anything she continued, “it wasn’t real, of course, but when I dreamed I wished it was. I dreamed that I charged forward instead of running away, that I took my wife in my arms and we ran away together. I dreamed of what our life would be together, if she survived.” Yasha sounded miserable.

“I can see why that would make you feel terrible once you woke up and she wasn’t by your side anymore,” Beau said.

“I woke up miserable because I remembered that I loved you,” Yasha shouted. “No, not like that,” Yasha said moving to Beau whose face fell, cupping Beau’s face so she couldn’t look away. “I felt like I was betraying you…, by dreaming of her.”

“What,” was all Beau could get out.

“I love you Beau, I love you so much,” the pain in Yasha’s voice hurt. “But I can’t love you with all my heart. Zuala will always be a part of me, no matter how hard I try to bury my memories of her, they keep bubbling up. When I’m awake you’re there and I don’t think about her as much, but when I’m asleep alone, I can’t help where my mind goes. If I could stop them I woul-.”

She would have kept going but Beau stopped her with a finger to her lips. “Yasha,” Beau said calmly, “I don’t want you to forget about Zuala.”

“H-how can you not,” Yasha asked, as tears started to pour down her face. “How can you be with a woman who doesn’t love you with all her heart. You deserve someone who loves you more than anything in the world, Beau.”

It took a bit for Beau to get her thoughts in order, to decide on what she was going to say. Finally, she came to a conclusion, “Yasha, can I tell you a…secret I guess. I wasn’t really trying to keep it a secret but I also haven’t tried talking about it.” She looked at Yasha for confirmation and when Yasha gave her a nod she continued. “I have a crush on Jester, a big one. I’m not going to break up with you, or cheat on you, or do anything with her, I promise, but it’s still there.”

“I don’t really know when it started, you know how I am with pretty girls, she was the first real friend I ever had and then as we kept traveling together maybe something grew as my feelings for you grew also. I felt like shit, like I was living out every lesbian stereotype in the dirty books I read as a kid, obsessing over my best friend who has a crush on a guy, it’s so cliche, but it still happened. I couldn’t control it any more than I could control falling in love with you. I’m happy for her and Fjord, and I’m even happier for me and you, but I still have feelings for her. They’re not nearly as strong as the feelings I have for you now, but when you were controlled they were pretty damn strong because Jester’s cheerfulness was one of the few things that could soothe the ache in my heart not knowing if you betrayed us or not.”

“I’m not trying to say this to hurt you or to pull this out to counter what you told me, but I just wanted you to know because you need to know you’re not the only one whose heart is made to love more than one person. After telling you that, do you still love me,” Beau asked very quietly now, truths on the table, ball in Yasha’s court.

“Of course not,” Yasha said, surprising herself with how easy it was to say. Yasha knew in her heart that there wasn’t anything Beau could do that would make her hate Beau.

“Well I feel the same way,” Beau told her, giving her girlfriend a smile. “I know you don’t want to talk about Zuala, and I respect that. But I’m not the jealous type, I know she was beautiful and amazing. And I’m just happy she was there for you when you needed her to be and I’m so sorry she was taken from you before her time.” She kissed Yasha’s hands.

“You didn’t even know her,” Yasha said, trying to resist, but if their time together has proven anything, she is bad at resisting Beau.

“No,” Beau admitted, “but you loved her, you love her, I can’t believe that someone you love so strongly, even after all this time could be anything but wonderful.”

“You know that means you too now,” Yasha meeting Beau’s eyes for the first time in a while.

“I-I don’t know about that,” Beau mumbling some excuses. It was funny to see her stumbling over her words, but it hurt to see her so down on herself. Beau was amazing, she was strong, smart, funny, beautiful, and so much more, yet she can’t see it. Beau’s heart was so strong but covered in the scars of what her parents had done to her, just like Yasha’s had been for what the tribe had done to Zuala.

“Well how about we help each other out then,” Yasha suggested. “Not today, but someday, I would like to talk about Zuala, if you’ll be willing.”

“You telling me stories about beautiful women, how can I say no,” Beau said, trying to be funny.

“And maybe, I can show you how wonderful you are so you stop hating yourself Beau,” Yasha said, cupping Beau’s face softly in her massive hands.

“I’m not sure it will work Yasha, I’m pretty broken,” Beau told her, “but I’m willing to try anything for you.”

“That’s all I’ll ever ask Beau, because I won’t stop trying, ” Yasha said, kissing her. Her heart was still hurt, but it was healing, a lot of that is thanks to Beau. And she’d love Beau enough to make her stop hating herself one day. There would always be scars on her heart from losing Zuala, but that was okay because women digged scars. At least her woman did and that was all that mattered.

Notes:

To be honest, I'm not super happy about the ending, I rushed it because I wanted to post today and I have my dnd game in a few minutes but I hope you enjoyed it all the same.

[seulgiology]

when you smile | bae joohyun

pairings: wife!irene x wife!female reader

words: 1.1k

genre: a lil angsty fluff

synopsis: “hello! I am craving some massive fluff so can I request a wedding day scenario with irene? Her being nervous and the girls having to calm her down and all that shit? Thanks in advance if you do it <3” ~ request

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, crying, nervousness, overall a kinda angsty situation 

a/n: yer yer , admin 1 here :3 this is what the dress looks like, scroll on the website to see more references. hey guys, admin 2 is gonna be a lil inactive probably cause she’s working on pink ferrari !

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. Thank you and enjoy :)

—

She gulped down the heavy lump in her throat, trying to stay still as the makeup artist added the sheen champagne-colored eyeshadow.

Her favorite BoA songs were playing in the background. But the only thing playing in her head was the intrusive thoughts she wishes she didn’t have.

Not on her wedding day.

“Irene, I finally found it! You wouldn’t believe who had it.” The perky sound of her bandmate, Sooyoung, could be heard as she stepped inside the cosmetics room.

She looked beautiful in her beige-colored bridesmaid dress. The bride gave her a tight-lipped smile and moved her newly styled hair out of the way so the piece of jewelry could be clasped around her neck.

Sooyoung took a step back and sighed a satisfied sigh. The choker-like necklace had white pearls as the straps with a sparkly pendant situated at the center, giving the perfect vintage look.

But a frown quickly overtook her features as a distressed and troubled look overcame her friend's delicate face.

The bridesmaid gently reached down and squatted face-to-face with the older woman she’s been working with for several years.  Making eye contact with the other, she tried to silence the hiccups that made their way up.

“Joohyun-Unnie, it’s ok to be scared.”

Those were the things she needed to hear for her to begin sniffling.

Someone signaled for everyone to leave the room, leaving only three other women to stay behind.

The rest of her beloved and gorgeous members crowded around to check on their leader. Their youngest brought her up and sat her down in the comfortable chaise towards the back of the room, continuing holding her hand even after they sat down.

“I just- I can’t even describe the love I have for that girl. And there’s nothing more I want then to be with her for the rest of my hectic life.” She started, looking up towards the ceiling to try not to let her tears ruin the quality makeup the artists worked on.

She gave a watery hiccuped that shook her body, thinking about the shit that her wife is going to have to go through. She felt herself being pulled into a group hug by her other members, comforting words being gifted to her in the best way possible.

“The media hates her, my family but my dad disapproves approves of our relationship. I don’t want to put her through it anymore.” The uncontrollable tears began to free fall, the pressure of her love-life taking a toll.

“Joohyun, look at me,” The most stable of all, Seulgi, softly held her chin and tilted it towards her direction.

She was a sight to behold as the tears streaked her face and a hopeless looked shined in her tears eyes.

“Why do you think you’re here right now, honey? That’s because Y/N wants to be with you. She’s willing to face the backlash, the hate, the sacrifices with you.” The whispered words crept in her mind, slowly overlaying her doubts.

She let the words of comfort creep their way through her being, knowing the words being preached to her were right.

“Yeah, and, ReVeluv’s are all for it. The GP might love a controversy here and there, but that’s not what matters right now. What matters is that you’re getting pussy for the rest of your life.” Yerim commented, a humorous smile adorning her face.

Even that one.

“You can always count on Yerim to say some bullshit like that,” Their main vocalist stated as she lightly bumped the youngest.

As she laughed, the tears dried on her cheeks. One of the few genuine smiles she pulled today.

“Ah, there’s that pretty smile. Why were you hiding it for so long huh?” Sooyoung said snapping a quick picture of the candid moment.

The stars couldn’t have aligned for anybody but the five of them to meet as one. — The delicate ivory tulle dress hung loosely on Irene’s body. It’s elegant flow and puffy sleeves design made her feel like a fairy in an enchanted forest.

The people attending to her makeup and hair weren’t as upset and quickly touched it up before she was fitted in her gown.

She took a deep breath, holding tightly onto her father's arm and the peony bouquet in her other arm.

“I’m happy for you, Joohyun-Ah. Let’s hope this marriage isn’t another strict contract.” He jestered playfully.

“You’re really funny you know that?” They chuckled lightly together.

“Don’t forget to smile, okay?”

She never got the chance to smile as the big and ominous doors awaited her destiny.

And there you were, watching the love of your eternity gliding down the aisle like the angel she is. The way the light caught her dress made her look absolutely heavenly. Your cheeks hurt, and your heart burned with an undying love for the woman coming towards you.

She lightly bowed towards her comrades that worked with her. One of her long time friends, Johnny, and his group gave you thumbs up and discreet finger hearts.

When she finally stood in front of you, you really couldn’t breathe. You didn’t believe in that cheesy phrase “as time stood still,” but shit, you wish it did.

Neither of you was the religious type, so instead of a priest speaking, you kindly asked her esteemed friend, Jennie, to do the honors.

It was a hilarious mess when the poor young woman called for any objections, and all of her bandmates declared they loved her first.

“YOU’LL ALWAYS BE OUR PERFECT 10 IRENE!”

If that didn’t make her want to cry of happiness and joy even more, then the end of your vows would surely leave her a sobbing mess.

“I pledge to remain your companion and friend, I promise to be with you always, to care for you, and to love you no matter how far apart we may be. I will always show an interest in the things you do and your ideas. I will be with you in your heart, and keep you safely in mine. When you are happy, I will be happy with you. When you are sad, I will make you smile. I swear it on my soul it’s so beautiful when you smile,”

Her hands tightened in yours as she held back sobs and tried to keep her composure.

“I will encourage you to continue growing as an individual as we work toward our mutual goals. Things are hard right now, but we'll get through this together. It's okay to step back and breathe. I stand with you as your best friend and wife and acknowledge that your choices are valid ones. I promise to give you love, honesty, trust, and commitment, and, in general, keep your life more interesting and chaotic than NCT 127s music, as we grow old and beyond. I love you, Joohyun.”

She trembled in the overwhelming feeling of yearning as she looked into your intense eyes. All she can see is promise and unconditional love.

“You know I love you more, Y/N.”

With the seal of a delicate kiss of plush lips pressed against each other and arms pulling her in tight, dress against dress, she knew she could overcome anything with you by her side.

[thefiveavengers]

jester and sexuality/romantic inclinations

so, this is my last day of summer break (actually the day before last, but tomorow is monday) and I decided to put into words what my thoughts about this dicey, dicey subject are. First, these are solely my opinons based on 1) watching the second campaign, 2)watching talks machina and the meta knowledge that comes with that and 3) assuming the players are playing in good faith and are open minded to organic changes that might come to their characters along the way.

and second, I do have my biases, and I come from the following inclinations: I ship lavorregard, and I don’t believe Jester is straight.

That said let’s begin. I’ve written a far amount about the lavorregard ship, but mostly focused on Beau’s feelings and her perspective. Right before the ep that Beau reveals the crush to Nott I wrote the following: “ If I were to put a chronology on Beau’s feelings for Jester it would go something like that: 1)“This girl is cute and somehow I like her way more than I usually like, well, anybody” 2) “This girl is cute and we are… friends???” 3) “This girl is cute, we are friends and I love her” 4) “We are friends, I love her AND I think she is hot” 5) “This girl is hot, I love her and maybe I love her as more than friends?”

But last ep I think it shifted to, “I’m definetely into Jester as more than friends and she’s never been hotter AND I think I’m getting to a point where I’m ready to actually process my feelings regarding that and be open about it.”

And lo and behold, the very next ep we saw Beau actually processing her feelings when talking to Nott. But what about Jester?  

         I’ve seen some people express the idea that “wouldn’t it be galaxy brain if all three cr ladies had independently decided when creating their characters that they are lesbians?” and honestly, while a cute thought, I don’t think that’s what’s happening. In my opinion what happened was, Marisha created Beau as a lesbian and she made sure to make that clear as possible from the get go, and one of the reasons I think she did that is because she entered the campaign looking to avoid a pc/pc romance, since the one she was in in cr1 took such a toll on her. She probably figured it would be a safe bet, playing a lesbian she would shield herself from the male characters and most likely the other female characters would not be interested in Beau, right?

      Enter Ashley Johnson. Honestly I don’t think Ashley had such a clear idea that Yasha was (or is) a lesbian. She had a wife, and from what has been said in canon Zualla was her only romantic and sexual relationship. Now, from what we’ve seen Yasha hasn’t expressed any interest in men, but to be fair she hasn’t really expressed interest in much anybody. She called Jester adorable in the very first ep and she seems to be fond of Beau’s flirtations even if not directly responding to them. The conversation where Yasha has said that she has “seen {Beau} a lot” coupled with one of the songs in Yasha’s playlist has me convinced that Yasha has some kind of feelings for Beau, even if is just a small crush. And I say this as someone who doesnt ship Beau/Yasha. I don’t think they would make a good match, but that doesn’t mean I’d deny either of them having interest in the other. But that doesn’t mean Yasha is for sure a lesbian who would never engage with a men ever. She seems pretty adamant on not having any romantic connections, so its hard to gauge really where her interests lie. She is for sure though a wlw. 

      Now, when it comes to Jester and Laura Bailey that’s when things get complicated. I would assume that most of us that have considered the possibility of Jester not being straight have read the excellent essay on comphet by tumblr user fuzzy-face ( https://fuzzy-face.tumblr.com/post/185001577009/you-make-your-own-fairytale-jester-comphet ), so I’m not gonna rehash what she’s said already. While I do agree almost wholeheartedly with this post, I’ll say this, I don’t think Laura Bailey when creating Jester set out to tell a story of a wlw learning how to overcome comphet. But (BUT!,!) I also don’t think her idea was Jester is totally straight and that’s that! I think she created Jester as a sexually and romantically inexperienced young woman that almost immediately got a crush on Fjord because, among other reasons, he reminded her of a hero from her smut books. 

       Recently, with the new upload of talks to the CR youtube channel, I rewatched this talks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZqJzNj_1tI , which is about the ep a Hole in the Plan, deep into the pirate arc, but before the first big Beau/Jester moment, the conversation they had in the boat on ep 46. First I must express my annoyance  at the fact that Laura and Marisha are the guests and yet at least 80% of the questions are about Fjord. I know it was in his arc, but COME ON! Also I was very surprised by how open they are talking about Fjord/Jester as if it were a done deal alaready. When anyone involved in Talks claim that they don’t do shipping questions, you should show them this ep because it is all about shipping questions. Anyways, Laura clearly states that Jester has a crush on Fjord (at the time at least) and she compares it to a super intense high school crush. So to me there is no refuting the fact that at least at some point Jester had a crush on Fjord. 

    What I do find it interesting is when you compare her answers in that talks to what she said in the most recent talks she’s participated  ( https://youtu.be/_NmZ2b_Q3So ) which seem to at least indicate that Jester has, on a level or another, moved on from said crush. It’s also, the now infamous moment where Laura talks about Jester’s crush...es. We’ll get back to that.

     That’s all good and dandy, but this is meta outside the game. Let’s go analyze actual in-game developments. As far as I can remember (and I’m not an expert in Fjord/Jester, so I might be forgetting something) these are the moments Jester spoke directly or inderectly about her crush on Fjord; when Caleb point blank asked her if she was sweet on him (to which she answered “I don’t know” and let’s keep that in mind); when she talked to nott about first kisses and the best thing she can say about it is that it didnt make her feel dead, and to me the most significant moment; when she asks the traveler  how to make a boy like her. Now, I’ve seen some people band about this as irrefutable proof that Jester IS straight, otherwise she wouldnt be asking the traveler advice about boys, but in this case she wasn’t talking about boys in general, she was talking about ONE boy and that was Fjord. 

      And that’s the crux of the matter isn’t it? Jester has demonstrated sexual/romantic interest in one man and one man alone, and that’s fjord. That does not mean she is straight. It doesn’t even mean that she, if a wlw, is bi. Her crush on Fjord has been wrapped around in all these expectations and I think its hard to parse how much was just projecting, among other things, the romance her parents had. Also, let me comment on how all these developments were long ago, during the pirate arc, over one year ago in real time.

     Jester has commented about Fjord’s appearance and Caleb’s and even pointed out to Reani that hot boi Essek was hot, but its all done very matter-of-factly. And if we are going to talk about Jester commenting on people’s apperances we have to acknowledge how Jester cannot SHUT UP about how she finds women beautiful. From Beau to Nott, from Reani to random shop girl in Uthodurn and her obssession with the Bright Queen in particular its all very in your face. Once someone wanted to argue with me that this is just how straight girls air their insecurities, and even if that’s true and not just misogyny, the only time Jester commented on a woman’s apperance with any kind of insecure note was one time when she compared herself to her mother.  

     Look, the thing is, if we take at face value every comment Jester has made about Fjord’s looks and strenght, we also have to take at face value how distraught she looked and sounded facing the idea that Beau’s new vestiments wouldn’t let her abs show. Is it funny? Yes, but it’s funny for the idea that Jester is very appreciative of Beau’s abs, which, I’m still waiting for the straight explanation if anyone if willing to give me. 

     To end, this goddamned book that I’ve started, the thing that gives me the most certainty that Jester is not straight and that a Beau/Jester romance is not only possible but likely is that I do not believe Laura Bailey is cruel. If she had no interest in exploring the possibility of a not-straight Jester and a B/J romance she wouldn’t been doing what she has been doing for awhile now.

     And what do I mean about that? I mean that even before Beau’s confession there’s been a different dynamic to their relationship. I already mentioned the “but can I see her abs????” incident, but also her encouragement about beau’s qualities and abilities (beau, you’re super strong), using the traveler as a proxy to her feelings (the traveler thinks you’ll do great, the traveler thinks you’re awesome, the traveler loves you), waiting to hold beau when she went up a column and showing disapointment when she didnt fell into her arms, listening to Beau regarding her wanting to confront her dad, being super, and I mean SUPER bummed out when Beau and Reani kissed and took a walk. And after the confession things ramped up.

   Like, that was Laura Bailey listening to the conversation between Nott and Beau, not Jester. She could have had continued to play out their friendship as usual, but that’s not what she did. She used this opportunity to play the romantic possibility as never before. Making sure that Jester shielded Beau’s body in combat, being VERY specific that when her double cured her, she leaned over her body and put her hands to her face and even contradicting Matt, pointing out that when she woke up, it wasn’t the laughing hand that she first saw, but Jester’s face. And then there’s ep 89, the juiciest lavorregard ep since ep 46. It’s romantic comedy set up, one character confesses their love to a third one, and the one character who is the target of that love starts a conversation with “Are you avoiding me? Because I think I know why.” That’s a romantic trope ladies and gents, and Laura Bailey the genius she is played it to perfection. Not being sure why she was so upset about not curing Beau (a sentiment that battle mercy Jester has never expressed before). Wanting to punish Beau’s dad for not treating her right, getting to an agreement after arguing about tarot and molly. Afterwards engaging Fjord in an activity that she usually associates with beau, that goes disastrously and thanks to the dice gods, I could see, in real time the comphet melting away.

And concluding with the fact that she bet 20 extra gold on Beau on the down low.

So coming back to the idea of Jester having crush...es, to me is very clear those crushes are, the one she has/had on Fjord and her new emerging one on Beau. do I think Jester herself is aware of these feelings? Not really, but Laura sure is.

     look this is not about being entitled or acusing anyone of queerbaiting if my ship doesnt pan out. its just, you know, laura’s sister is a lesbian, and I do think that gives people some perspective that they might not have, and I genuinely don’t think she would be playing things as she is, if she didn’t have any interest in playing out to the end.

[heamatic-archive]

best scene featuring your muse? (chapter, film, episode) // what does your name mean? // share a funny story // list your top two movies

* interview the writer

best scene featuring your muse? (chapter, film, episode)

Cassie: I’m hesitating between two so I’ll mention them both: in MK11, after she’s defeated Sonya at the beginning and she hugs Johnny – it’s not just her, it’s the pride in both her parents at the way she matured so much in the past few years. You can tell she worked really hard to get where she is. The other is actually from MKX, funny enough, and it’s when Cassie goes at Kung Jin and says: “You want to take this opportunity to tell us what the fuckshit you were thinking?! “ Idk, I just love that bit a lot. Fujin: I’m gonna have to go with the now classic scene between he and Jax, not just because it showed how connected he is to others, like Jax, but also because we got a glimpse of his backstory and his relationship with Raiden. It’s probably THE most important scene for him to me. Raiden: Raiden didn’t exactly do much for me in MK11, oddly enough (I enjoyed him in it, but he didn’t have many key moments), so it’s actually the scene in MKX where he speaks to a younger Kung Jin stealing the statue. It’s very deep, and it shows how compassionate and understanding Raiden can sometimes be when the time calls for it. Sindel: The scene after she returns from being a revenant in MK11. It is literally the Sindel we’ve come to know and love. Just the way she searches for Kitana, how she addresses Sheeva with such respect. I loved that. Hanzo: In MK11, when he fights his younger self and he mentions how it is not his clan that keeps him going but his wife and child instead, and how he manages to be level headed enough to turn his younger much more stubborn self around. It showed how much Hanzo has matured over time compared to how he was not just as his younger self but how he was in MKX.  I also really liked most of his scenes in the animated movie tbh. So I can’t really choose just one there.

what does your name mean?

I went through a few names on Tumblr. Jess, which is my name basically, but there’s a LOT of Jess’s in the rpc. Then I went by V. for a while, short for VortexQueen. But then a group of friends and I got into Critical Role, and my favorite character became, ofc, Jester (and also apparently I’m a lot like her according to them? Lol ) so it stuck, and for a while we all had Critical Role names. While for some it changed overtime, mine remained, and Jester carried through to this day.

share a funny story

Wow I suck at those, I can never think of one. Okay maybe this one: so the first time I ever got high months ago, it hit me pretty hard but in a good way. My hubby was with me to supervise and make sure I was okay, and we stayed in the bedroom the whole time. At some point he asked me to close the curtains since it was getting dark, which I did, but forgot to open the light so it got super dark. I shit you not, it took me 10 mins to get from the curtain to the lamp (a whole 5 feet) because I thought it was too far away, and I kept saying “WHY’S IT SO FAR?” while hubby laughed like a loon. Like, I couldn’t make normal steps. And instead of just re-opening the curtains, opening the light, close the curtain again, I tried to do everything in the dark feeling like I was walking down a whole, long hallway. Also I couldn’t stop laughing for three hours.

list your top two movies

Admittedly I don’t watch a lot of movies because… honestly? I have the attention span of a gold fish and get distracted super easily, or remember I gotta do something and pause the movie for it and don’t come back to it for hours. But, I suppose I do have a couple of older movies I indulge in once in a while.

Atomic Blonde 47 Ronin Those would be my two go two movies rn.