#jesus christ on a cactus

[blacklight-ghoulette]

Why, why is my child like this

It's a fucking cactus, you don't eat it! It's pointy and ouchy! Whyyyyyy??? Why, Jelly?

Also no clue how this cactus is still alive I've meant to repot it forever ago and haven't gotten around to it, and I kinda forget to water it like, forever, but it seems okay I guess I dunno they're the only plants I can't kill besides the infinite onions from my grandma that I stuck in the planter on my front porch and it has been making onions without me doing anything to for over 3 years

[dwarrowdams]

Our jury trial for this week fell and gods, I'm so relieved.

I did contact my supervisor like "hey can I maybe have some help out here? my judge and clerk were kinda worried when I took the record for the entire last jury trial" and apparently those (plus copying my judge and clerk) were the magic words to break the radio silence.

Now I can catch up on work and come home with the energy to read/write/pet Athena.

This also means that I can finish up/post the next chapter of Measurements, which I'm excited about because it's the last bit of calm before the storm.

[yawnderu]

Lorelei — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part V

1 2 3 4 5 6

Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.

This chapter can be read as a one-shot without having to read the whole story! :)

"Are you staying for Christmas?" You ask casually, decorating the cookies you baked with Simon's help. Your daughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib, a small Santa Claus onesie on her, preparing her for the celebration even when there's still a few hours left.

"You want me to?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, brown eyes fully focused on decorating the head of one of the cookie figures, steady hand drawing a skull pattern with ease.

"It's her first Christmas, I think she'd like having her father around." I want you around as well. He's lucky you're focused on decorating your cookies, missing the way his face lights up with a proud smile. It's a lot of progress.

''Right. I got you both some presents in the car.'' He washes his hands on the sink, giving his daughter one last look before leaving the house, trying to gather as many of the gifts he bought as possible. ''Some presents'' was clearly an understatement— he has been building a pile of gifts for months, his car full of boxes and bags for both you and your little girl.

''Jesus Christ.'' You wash your hands and go help him as you see him struggling to carry the pile, taking some from him and putting them under the Christmas tree.

''There's more in the car.'' He seems almost sheepish as he confesses, giving him a small pat on the arm as you go outside to help him. You almost laugh as you look inside, the entire backseat full of presents. It's almost ridiculous, yet so charming how much he wants to make both of you happy, knowing how much it the holidays mean to you, especially now that you have a daughter.

''Isn't this... a bit overkill?'' You joke, earning you a playful pat on the ass now that your arms are busy. You miss the kick thrown his way, jogging after him with a smile when he playfully gets on the other side of the couch to avoid you getting revenge.

''I still got one more present coming, but that's for later.'' He walks back to the kitchen once he made sure you weren't going to kill him for patting your ass.

''I swear to God, Simon, if it's another d—'' He interrupts you by smearing frosting on your cheek, shooting you a cheeky smile that gets erased the moment you do it back— smearing way more than you should have all over his cheek.

''Bastard.''

Your baby was up by the time it was midnight, excited to see her mum and dad opening up presents and even joining in, tiny hands clearly struggling with the wrapping paper, yet somehow managing without help.

''Strong girl, like her mum.'' You smile softly at his words, looking at the way your daughter stares curiously at one of her last presents; a cactus activated by sound.

''Say 'hello'.'' Simon says, getting closer to the toy until it activates, dancing around and lighting up. Astrid looks confused as she looks at it, brown eyes looking up at you before looking back at the toy.

''Hello.'' He repeats, a warm smile on his lips when the toy starts dancing again, much to your daughter's confusion. She babbles at it, tiny hands reaching out to touch it once it starts moving and playing back her sounds, giggles escaping her lips as the toy imitates her laugh.

Simon's phone vibrates in his pocket, getting up from the couch before looking down at his phone with twinkling eyes.

''My mate's here, I'll be right back.'' He doesn't wait for you to reply, already out of the house before you can even say anything. Your focus is back to your daughter, happy that she enjoys playing with the toy rather than being scared of it like you've seen in videos online. Brave girl she is, not a single lick of fear in her.

Simon comes back a minute later, holding a big German Shepherd that can definitely walk on its own. You give him a questioning look as he sets it on the floor, holding his collar just in case.

''Absolutely not.'' You try to protest, yet your gaze softens when you see Astrid crawl to the dog.

''Wa-wa!'' She points out, tiny hands reaching up to pet the dog the same way you've taught her, gentle. The dog doesn't react much besides laying down on the floor for your daughter to pet it, making it much easier for her.

''His name's Riley, he's a retired K-9. Look, I'll pay for his food and even for someone to come take care of him when I'm not here, I just... want you to be safe.'' There's hints of pleading on his tone, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks at you.

''... I'll take care of him.'' You say with a small sigh, knowing Simon wants nothing else than for both of his girls to be safe, especially when he's deployed.

''We gave him extra training to deal with kids and emergencies. Big geezer's patient and good.'' He keeps trying to sell it as if you didn't say yes already, a small giggle escaping your lips before giving him a reassuring smile.

''We'll keep him, don't worry.'' You crouch down to pet the dog, who is clearly enjoying the attention from your daughter, allowing her to rest on his side while petting his head.

There's a smile on his face as he looks down at his family, hands fumbling with the small box in his pocket.

[PREVIOUS] [NEXT]

taglist: @skulfan1 @survivalshxt @ghostslittlegf @yaebaal @thecubanator2 @juliediets @shescabob @kenz-ee @lothiriel9 @dragonstoneshortcake @lunamoonbby @alfie2401 @perfectus-in-morte @mxtokko @cloufie @killergoddess97 @imaracoon @thepurpleaccount @silas-222 @actuallyhiswife @havoc973 @catkatchuck @preeyansha

[wynnyfryd]

the kind of charm we need

written for @steddiemicrofic september prompt ‘charm’ + 548 words | rated T | pre-relationship, fluff, flirting, boys being dumb

🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄

“‘Not the kind of charm we need,’” Steve mutters derisively to himself for the tenth time that day as they pull up to the cemetery curb.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dustin sighs, “your time and talents are sooo wasted on us, Steve, we get it.”

Max glares at him from the rearview like she agrees with Dustin, then shoves out of the backseat and slams the door shut behind her without a word.

Shit.

Steve watches her climb the hill, guilt rolling through his guts. Fuckin’ Nancy. There are bigger problems here.

Like, for example, the metalhead fugitive having a nervous breakdown in a boathouse.

“Oh, my god,” Lucas says from the backseat as the walkie crackles to life, Eddie’s quivering voice calling out for ‘Dustin? Anybody? Hello??’

He passes the walkie up to the front with a look like he’s debating whether or not to just smash the thing to pieces on the asphalt instead. “Can you maybe use your charm on Eddie before I murder him?”

“He’s in distress!” Dustin cries.

“He’s on my last nerve!”

“Seriously, anybody?? Please!”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, give me that.” Steve yanks the walkie out of Lucas’ hand, hauls himself out of the car — leans in to tell the two shitheads to stay put and shut up before he closes the door.

He leans against the driver’s side, head throbbing, body sore. Can’t tell if he’s too young or too old for this shit. He pushes the talk button with a begrudgingly slow press.

“Steve Harrington’s babysitting and distraction service, how may I help you? Over.”

“Stevie!” Eddie whoops, sounding genuinely thrilled to hear Steve’s voice. Steve knows he’s just excited to hear anyone’s voice, but. Hm. “Goddamn am I glad to- wait, where’s Henderson? Sinclair? Are they—?”

“They’re fine,” Steve assures before the creep of hysteria he hears can fully take hold. He kicks his heel against the front tire. “They’re waiting in the car. I’ve been instructed to, like, charm you into calming down, or whatever.”

“Charm me?” Eddie’s voice lilts with interest. Steve can almost see the smile, the way he licks across his front teeth.

“Just a— well, not a joke, but, like…” Steve trails off, gives up trying to explain. Nance has this way of making comments that cling like cactus spines. “Never mind.”

“No, no,” Eddie says. “Go on. I’m ready to be charmed.”

And maybe it’s the way Eddie says charmed like a snake scenting the air, or maybe it’s the stress of the day; maybe he’s finally having his own little mental breakdown as a treat, because for some insane reason he leans into whatever this is, pitches his voice all low and slippery and asks, “What are you wearing?”

Silence for a moment, and then Eddie cackles, the noise so loud it overwhelms the little speaker in the walkie, bursts of laughter breaking through the static noise. Steve finds himself laughing, too, a slow thing that builds and builds, swells inside him like blown glass until he’s warm and bright all over.

“Jesus,” Eddie breathes when he finally calms. “You’re— you’re ridiculous. Shit, man, I really needed that, you have no idea.”

Steve smiles to himself. Bites the inside of his cheek. Not the kind of charm we need.

No, but someone might.

🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄🪄

note: i am aware that this is canon adjacent (which is to say that i meant for it to take place in canon but i didn’t feel like rewatching the scene for total accuracy so like, canon can bite me it’s close enough)

[the-mcyt-crackships-brackets]

Welcome to the MCYT Crackships Bracket Season 2!

Here, we will be seing which crackship is the best, and because that statement is vague, you get to make your opinion!

Each crackships was randomly agenced from characters you chose! (You can still give us submissions via this google form (mcyt crackships brackets V.3. Confirmed ???))

This is all meant to be in good fun, so please be respectful with others and use propaganda the least wisely you can! (propaganda isn't endorsed, it's encouraged!)

We as a community can get inspired by these, make art! fanfics! (and if you do, please tag us) of your favorite Crackship!

Maybe we could even find a name for them, after all, maybe the next "big ship" will be in this, who knows?

We are now in the semi finals

*Smallishbeans - Empires SMP S2 version

*fWhip - Empires SMP S1 version

*fWhip - Empires SMP S2 version

*Inthelittlewood - Limited life version

*Smallishbeans - Escape the night version

*LDshadowlady - Empires SMP S2 version

*Skizzleman - POE (hermitcraft s10) version

*Foolish - DSMP life god version

*Bekyamon - Outsiders SMP version

*Pearlescentmoon - Double Life version

*LDshadowlady - Empires SMP S1 version

*Pixlriff - Empires SMP S1 version

*Goodtimewithscar - Limited Life version

*Zombiecleo - Witchcraft SMP version

*Owengejuice - Pirates SMP version

**The MCYT polls admins polycule | MCYT-rarepair-tournament & transmcytshowdown & MCYT-crackships-brackets

And also PURGATORY 2

*LDshadowlady - Empires SMP 1 version

*Pearlescentmoon - Double life version

*Pearlescentmoon - Double life version

The ship list:

Stressmarian | Grian/Prismarina/Stressmonster

Zolibeans | Zolister/Smallishbeans (Empires SMP S2)

Joesquidd | Joehills/Squiddo

Ethostab | Ethoslab/Cactus (Minecraft)

Ethot | Ethoslab/Magma (Minecraft)

Circus Fools | Clownpierce/Foolish

Luke TheNotable/Mrs Tango

Squiddbrine | Squiddo/Herobrine

The Prison Polycule | Awesamdude/Ivorycello/Kenadian/Seensven

Evil X/Napoleon

Cuteguy/Ponk

Kolabeans | Smallishbeans/Kolanii

Yahiamice/Vintagebeef

Fwhilza | Philza/fWhip (Empires SMP S1)

Fwhilza | Philza/fWhip (Empires SMP S2)

Iskath |Iskall85/Katherine Elizabeth

Baghaimsey | Aimsey/Baghera Jones

Kittenberries | Tinakitten/Fruitberries

Reddoons/Docm77

Majorbomb | Scott Smajor/Hbomb94

Stampylonghead/Skipthetutorial

Bobworm | Renbob/Wormman

Xornothyn | Martyn inthelittlewood/Xornoth

Gillsnoth | Martyn inthelittlewood (limited life)/Xornoth

Antshlattdragon | Antfrost x Jshlatt x  The Enderdragon (Minecraft)

Sandiction/Taneesha

Smallishbeans (Escape The Night)/LDshadowlady (Empires SMP S2)/Aurelien_Sama

Tommyinnit/LetsHugo

Rodent Yaoi | Yahiamice/Doctor4t

Mysticat/Kaboodle

Chizzleman | Cherrifire/Skizzleman

Government Assigned Chizzleman | Cherrifire/POE Skizzleman (Hermitcraft)

Nikirucho | Cucurucho/Niki Ninachu

Ethurpled | Ethoslab/Purpled

Mythrose | MythicalSausage/Hannahxxrose

Pearlescentnight/Pearlnox | Pearlescentmoon/Noxintrus

Rencube | Rendog/MrCube

Tubzam | Princezam/Tubbo

Stressmonster/Luxintrus

Royal Duo | Eret/Welsknight

Blasphemous Duo | Eret/Helsknight

RAM Polygamy | Grumbot Prime (Hermitcraft)/P.A.M.A (Story Mode)/M.A.R.I.L.L.A. (TTYPDKAM)

Boosfer/Camman18

Evil X/Elmariana

Shubbek | Shubble/Bekyamon (Outsiders SMP)

Arathain/Goodtimewithscar

Falseforge | Forgelabs/Falsesymetry

Rolliam | Sir Billiam (Tales of the SMP)/Roier

Cubfan/Bagi

DogDuo | Stacyplays/Pearlescentmoon (Double life)

Holy Cumscarian | Cubfan/Mumbo/Goodtimewithscar/Grian/Jesus Christ

Holy Cumscarian | Cubfan/Mumbo/Goodtimewithscar/Grian/God

Keralis/Speedsilver

Fishbowl Wives | Ldshadowlady (Empires SMP S1)/Nautilux

Lag Duo | Pearlescentmoon/Ashwagg

Doubleslime(d)up | Slimecicle/5up/BdoubleO100

Bighills | Joe hills/BigB

Zloysuma |ZloyXP/Xisuma

Mogza | Mogswamp/Philza

JadeGem | Jaiden & Geminitay

Gemiku | Geminitay/Hatsune Miku

The Ayharem | Aypierre/All the lifers

Chayanne & The Egg

Pixscar |Pixlriffs (Empires SMP S1)/Goodtimewithscar (Limited life)

Seapeekarl | Karl Jacobs/Seapeekay

Death Yuri/Clistin | Zombiecleo (Witchcraft SMP)/Kristin

Life Mariage | Zombiecleo (Witchcraft SMP)/Life God Foolish (DSMP)

Fundy/Grian

The MCYT polls admins polycule | MCYT-rarepair-tournament & transmcytshowdown & MCYT-crackships-brackets

Owengejuice (Pirates SMP)/Kiply

Gaonashi Duo/Ethoboo | Ethoslab/Ranboo

Shubble/Skeppy

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[weepylucifer]

SINCE i'm thinking about using the Capeside apartments as a fic setting, i've decided to look into the logistics of the place and, jesus christ. what is going on in here on this day

So the Smoker and the working class family have their own kitchens and bathroom stalls (which apparently at least include a toilet and shower) which is well and good for them, but the ground floor bitches? Are ON their own

What is happening with this place?? The entire floor has to share one disgusting communal bathroom. Do they all have to queue up for the shower in the mornings? Untenable. The foreclosed apartment has a bathtub and giant fridge but none of the other ones have anything like that. There is zero kitchen space to be found. What do all these people eat? Do they all live off of takeout all the time? There aren't even any takeout places in Martinaise. Is there one fed up pizza guy who drives out from Jamrock every day with these people's dinner orders?? Where does all the trash go, if the only dumpster around there is for exclusive use of the Whirling?

Also apparently someone planted herbs and a cactus out back. A cactus?? It's snowing half of the time. How is a cactus alive??

[kapanbenernya]

Back 4 Blood -- It is Now Literally Left for Dead

As I have touched in this post, this is one of the games I still play, and for good reason. It has huge replayability, it's easy to pick up, it can fit all of my friends, and most importantly: it's fun. Yes you heard it right here folks, I like Back 4 Blood despite being aware of all it's faults and imperfections because it's still fun. And because of that, I will spend what free time I have to talk about this game and what I appreciate from it.

First, let's talk about the apocalypse

As we all know from the Left 4 Dead comparisons everyone throws around, the setting to Back 4 Blood is a plague apocalypse. Notice that I use the word "plague" instead of the straight "zombie" apocalypse because there are almost no zombie apocalypse in mass media anymore. Ever since the year 2010-something everyone just shied away from it like last month's fast fashion.

"LOOK AT HIM STILL USING CONVENTIONAL UNDEAD ZOMBIES! LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A SIMPLETON HE IS!"

And with the traditional undead zombies declining in popularity, rose the new hotness that I can only describe as scientifically induced zombiefication, in which the "zombie" is caused by a scientific phenomenon like fungus, virus, bacterial infection, etc. Popular examples including 28 Days Later, The Walking Dead, and of course, Left 4 Dead. In the world of Back 4 Blood, the cause of the zombie mutations is an entity called the Worm which is said to proliferate in the waters and could mutate human flesh into all sorts of malformed abominations. And it's up to us, the cleaners of Fort Hope to thin their numbers and save the future. Or at least our group's future

But who is our group? And what are the Cleaners?

As mentioned before, we play as Cleaners. Essentially a ragtag group of survivors from Fort Hope sent out to execute missions such as community outreach, resupplying, and more often than not, blowing shit up. The characters available to us ranges from a soldier, a doctor, a delinquent, a prepper, two war veterans, and two nutjobs each with their own unique craziness. The variation is more than just salad dressing mind you, as each character comes with their own character and party skills. Such as the doctor that affects how well you can heal and how resistant the party is to long-term health damage, The prepper that can somehow turn the zombies into pinatas of ammo and grenades, and a young man whose only purpose is to annoy me every time he opens his fucking mouth.

"No seriously, Jesus Christ, just shut the fuck up Evangelo"

On top of the skills that comes with each unique character, you also have to build your own personal skill with the Skill Card system. It's essentially buffs in the form of cards that you form into a 15-card deck filled with multiple buffs and/or debuffs that will combine to fill a certain role within the team. The cards are unlocked via an in-game currency called copper (boy am I glad they didn't charge us micro-transactions for those) and you earn copper by playing the game. The system sounds pretty okay on paper, since you unlock your skills quite organically and slowly build yourself up as you play. But as you know things that sounds alright on paper might just be fairy farts in the real world, and the skill card system is no exception. The downside is that the skill cards are unlocked via packs that will randomly spawn on the shop. So if you're in a hurry to unlock certain cards, you can take a cactus up the arse and get fucked.

Wait. We've veered too much into gameplay territory now. Let me actually switch the topic to gameplay

It's no secret that the gameplay is very much similar to Left 4 Dead, so any attempt to explain the gameplay is a waste of time because everyone knows Left 4 Dead at this point. Its simple formula of "move from the starting point to the finish zone while dodging obstacles in the form of zombies" has been tried and tested for so many years now that it can almost vote. Attentive readers might have realized that I didn't put the words "killing zombies" in there because it wasn't really the main objective in L4D. They're more nuisance in the form of very bitey assholes, not unlike a teething baby that just learned to run.

"Yeah, not so tough now are you?"

Aside from them however there also the special infected that are so famous that they don't need an introduction. What I need to emphasize however is how good their designs are. I'm talking about each of them are so visually and audibly distinct, and how their roles are so synergistic with each other that they are still downright terrifying to face even with a tight 4 man group.

As the self-proclaimed "spiritual successor" of Left 4 Dead, and how the tagline for the game is "From the creators of Left 4 Dead", one would rightly assume that the game would at least maintain such quality. A thing that they unfortunately, did not manage to do with this game. Dishonorable mention goes to the special infected that can be very hard to discern unless the game spells it out for me. Not to mention that their roles aren't very distinct from one another that they all just blur out into "collective nuisance" for me. Overall, such a letdown from the people that made L4D.

Before we go to the final say, let me list the good things I really like from this game

Oh my god, it's the weapon system. The way the weapons handle, the customizations, the brutal melee weapons, the satisfying OOMPH some of the weapons have, and aiming down the sights? Good lord killing zombies haven't been this cathartic since COD Zombies. This is one of the reason why I think this game is still fun despite all it's shortcomings. The other reason? Nothing else except the fact that it's very much competent. It already has a satisfying gameplay loop that could carry the game by itself. All we need it just for the devs to keep this putrid ball of cadaver rolling.

And as we are now in the current future of 2024, we know that the Developers have pulled out like a couple of teenagers fucking on a risky day. This post by the Developers (almost exactly a year ago, by the way) has cemented the death of this game. The lack of community modding means that the game will stay the same as it was until the servers inevitably close. It truly has been the final nail in the undead coffin. The devs did say that they were gonna "be Back, bigger, bolder and better than ever!", but seeing how they treated this promising IP? Might as well get the phone ready to call CPS

In Brief

I'd still play it. No matter how much shit the community says about this game, I'd still play it given the chance. I still truly believe it's a competent game that just need a few fixes. I dare the developers to get off their ass and actually put community modding and/or map maker to the game. If that happens, I'm willing to bet one of my testicles that the game will re-flourish and we're going to start seeing a lot of new fan-made content and fixes it sorely needed.

But we will not get it of course. Not because the devs are lazy or incompetent, but I'm thinking it's because there is no money to be made in implementing it. We still remember the backlash about "Paid mods" back in 2015 so monetization is a very tricky issue. Apart from that, the devs will just look greedy by doing so. And trust me, Turtle Rock Studios cannot afford to tarnish their reputation any more than this. Not after Evolve

22/02/2024

[blowflyfag]

Hallo Eris! For the Smash or Pass:

Cactus Jack Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose Brian Pillman (Sr)

<3 - Mitch

Hello Mitch!!! You have no idea the can of worms you justopened up

I think about cactus jack a lot hes so fucking cool and like. ugh i dont know i want him though hes like i have such a vivd image of meeting him on the road having the wildest night of your life and then never seeing him again. im deranged about cactus jack

anytime anywhere once again with moxley and ambrose they're all so.. jesus christ im like fascinated by them. i want to study him bro. dean ambrose i've really been interested in lately this ginger is ruining me

I LOVE BRIAN PILLMAN SO FUCKINGGGG MUCH listen to starfuckers by nine inch nails and think of him because that song is him it would be a fucking insane time so smash

[whatharrysang]

Harry Styles & alone

Harry Styles

Kiwi - When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus

From the Dining Table - Woke up alone in this hotel room

Fine Line

Golden - I don't wanna be alone

To be so lonely - To be so lonely, to be so

Harry's House

As It Was - "Harry, you're no good alone"

Satellite - I can see you're lonely down there

Boyfriends - Don't wanna be alone

Songs Harry wrote for other artists

I love you - Maybe if I got my timing right, I wouldn't end up alone

One Direction Songs Harry wrote on

Summer Love - Wish that we could be alone now

Still the One - Couldn't blame you 'cause I know I left you all alone, yeah

Still the One - I know that I left you all alone

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - Now I'm searching every lonely place

Stockholm Syndrome - But now together we're alone

Change Your Ticket - Girl don't leave me all alone in this hotel

Change Your Ticket - And it's not good to be all alone

If I Could Fly - For when you're lonely and forget who you are

Olivia - When you go and I'm alone

Unreleased Songs

Already Home - Together we’re alone, both of us agreeing

Don't Let Me Go - It lies there alone in it's

Don't Let Me Go - 'cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't Let Me Go - 'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone

Half the World Away - I'm gonna to sleep alone tonight

Jesus Christ, Happy New Year - And I’ll be alone in the back of a hearse

Lay Down - But we need a little time alone

Make My Day  - Friends call me a loner I know they're wrong

Try Honey - She said "you make me feel so alone"

Without You - Alone on the hotel floor it’s gonna be long

See also: Lonely

[d3ad-on-arriva1]

tell me about yeehaw chainshipping pleas

OKIE!!

lawrence is a long time cowboy who is off his ranch to visit a friend and he finds adam just half dead in the sand is like hrm wtf and eventually its like sorta revealed that adam is a manifestation of his religiousness and his fear of god and im trying to decide if adam is actually real and just a narrative parralel or an actual ghost or spirit

anyway snippet below cut

Adam. The only things that are watching you out here are the cactus and the coyotes, and Jesus Christ, I’ve been out here longer than youve been alive, and not once, have I seen God in a coyote’s eyes. Theres nothin’ holy out here, Adam. 

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

I don't have the energy to message people individually so here is the vent I sent to @munsons-maiden.

I'm tagging people who asked or people I wanna tell - @fandomohana @thefreak0fhawkinshigh @rosesloveletters @darklylucid🫂💗🫂💗

HERE IS WHY TODAY CAN GO DEEP THROAT A CACTUS.

Okay so first of all, I got into work today knowing I would have to do a raffle, but I was told that it would be from 2pm, meaning I had the majority of my shift to do my normal workload. It would be a tight squeeze but it was doable. BUT I GOT THERE AND FOUND OUT THAT I HAD TO DO THE WHOLE THREE HOURS 11AM-230PM, MEANING I ONLY HAD THREE HOURS FROM 8AM TO 11AM TO DO AN ENTIRE SHIFT OF WORK WITH NO HELP, WHILE ALSO HELPING THE OTHER PERSON DO THEIR WORK TOO BECAUSE THEY'RE A TRAINEE!!!!

So that had me on edge almost as soon as I clocked in, and then I saw a dead bumblebee on the ground and just immediately burst into tears. I love bumblebees, just as much as I love cats and snakes and sharks, and it just totally set me off. I'm really sensitive about animal harm/death ANYWAY, I can't watch a horror film if it has it in it, and all I could say to a coworker was "there's a - thing - and it - dead, can't - " and then I was gone; I was sobbing for about twenty minutes and then crying on and off for about forty minutes after that, while doing my normal work, I was just letting myself cry. People were so so sweet and kept asking if I was okay and I'd tell them what was wrong and that would set me off all over again. So I'm going between my work and my co-workers because we only had three hours to do all of our work which normally takes an entire shift, because we had to do the raffle at 2pm (it was a summer fete at our care home today).

And I was nervous about that because I have severe generalised anxiety (I scored 21 out of 21 on the GAD test💀) and I cannot do crowds of people; our care home is always busy when we do events and last year during the summer fete I had multiple anxiety attacks; I did my shift while darting upstairs every now and then to cry and pull myself together. People at work KNOW I am severely anxious but my work senior, who wasn't there today, volunteered me to do the raffle a) without asking me first and b) knowing I don't like crowds, am an introvert and very anxious and c) asked last year not to be made to do the summer fete this year, and between all of this, the call bells constantly going off, the doorbell ringing with people coming in, running around with drinks orders for coworkers while also trying to do my own work in time and help out my coworker, I was overstimulated by 11am and the day just didn't get any better.

I have been itchy, ANGRY, bad mood-y, everyone get the FUCK away from me all shift, while also having to smile and do the raffle and occasionally go off to finish something I couldn't do in those three hours before the raffle, I didn't get any break because we were too fucking busy so I couldn't even sneak a look at Eddie or sneak an Ozzy song to help me pull through, the music was shitty and too loud, people were too close and there were too many of them, I don't like crowds or people or being expected to deal with things like this, and I was honestly in such an awful mood and yeah, to an extent I took it out on my coworkers, one of them brought me a coffee because "you're getting bitey" and they weren't being mean about how dead my tone was but I felt so guilty so that didn't help and then when it got time to do the actual raffle, neither me nor my coworker knew how to do a raffle so I was totally flying blind and that didn't help the anxiety so I was just following vague instructions from people who DO know how to do it and the whole fucking shift was a fucking MESS and then when it got time to get changed to go home, I GOT ASKED TO HELP CLEAN SOMETHING UP AND PUT THINGS AWAY SO I ENDED UP DOING OVERTIME WHEN I HAVE ALREADY DONE OVERTIME THIS WEEK AND JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY JOB IS TAKING TOO MUCH FROM ME EVERY DAY.

It's a good thing I'm not at uni at the moment, the weather is so hot and my job is so physically intense with every shift being between 26 - 28,000 steps AS WELL AS IT BEING EMOTIONALLY INTENSE so all I have the energy for when I get home is to take care of my body and then collapse into bed to watch horror films. I haven't 'seen' Eddie or read a fic or ANYTHING for almost a week because I'm just so tired and I miss Eddie and I just... I just want Eddie. I'm overstimulated STILL almost four hours after my shift ended, I want to cry, I'm angry and pent up and frustrated and I'm working now until Wednesday; that's my next day off and I just KNOW tomorrow and all the other days are gonna be this demanding and my job is too fucking much but in this economy, I'm lucky to even HAVE a job and hhhhhhhhhh I just want Eddie and I want Uncle Wayne, too.

I don't know how to calm myself down, it feels like my skin is on fire with itches and it's hot outside and I.... I'm just really REALLY tired. I want Eddie. But also, I wouldn't want him to see me like this, at my worst. This isn't the Eri I'd want him to see. My job is eating me alive.💔

Every shift is like this, it's relentless, there's no let up, and I feel so inadequate and like I'm not enough to deal with this. I'm so tired.

[theflirtmeister]

I would love to hear more of ur omegaverse au thoughts. Like anything. Maybe under a read more?

I apologise to everyone who hates omegaverse and is on mobile.

Okay so we’re running off the universe rules that the world is trying to be more progressive towards omegas - look they can vote now! Unclaimed omegas can go out in public! You don’t have to sit at your alphas feed and be hand fed! But obviously people are still Weird about omegas (And Adam’s parents were v upset when he presented as Omega and that’s partly why the relationship is fragmented) and betas just think the whole thing is Weird in General. 

Adam and Scott have been heat mates since high school, they fuck each other whenever Adam is in heat/Scott’s in rut, but they don’t actually?? Like each other very much?? Scott is PISSED when Lawrence claims Adam after the bathroom incident, and Adam is like “jesus christ my life is awful”. 

Hoffman + Amanda are both alphas and hate each other, it’s very hard to be in the same room as them - luckily now that Adam is claimed, he still smells amazing, but Lawrence is mixed in as well, as a kind of Back Off. (Obviously though, Hoffman and Lawrence have a weird thing going on so Adam is kind of used as a pawn between them)

I am also adding Jigsaw 2017 into this now because I fell in love with Logan and Eleanor - He’s a beta and she’s an alpha, and she’s been using him for her ruts whenever she needs him, but they don’t really have a romantic relationship?? Logan is perfectly happy by himself, and Eleanor’s my favourite little weirdo and does her own thing! She thinks Amanda is So Cool, and keeps trying to show friendly alpha behaviours like smiling and being submissive and Amanda is a prickly cactus who Does Not Understand.

(Also Hoffman is the worst alpha because he keeps falling for other alphas - he's trying to display alpha mating techniques for both rigg + strahm and they're reading them as threat displays and freaking out)

[cathedral-of-the-forest]

Fair warning, if you start your Covid is fake, no big deal, a conspiracy, shit around me, you’re going end up thinking it might have been nicer to have a cactus stuck up your ass than to deal with me.

In the past 4 years, I’ve been leveled multiple times by sickness. Not just “hey, I feel like shit”, but “Jesus Christ, what the fuck ran me over and left me for dead”. Before then the worst I’d ever felt was a case of the Flu about a decade ago.

Now I’ve had multiple “Gee, the Flu ain’t so bad in comparison” experiences in 4 years, this latest one the worst. Now, I’m a mean son of a bitch, so the dogs still got taken out and walked/exercised, I stilled worked each day (one of the down sides to remote working), meals got cooked, chores got done, errands got run. But, I really fucking did not like it. It sucked, and I would like to never do it again. After a week, I’m now feeling like I just have a cold, and that feels dandy compared to last week.

I ain’t a scientist, but I ain’t a dumbass either. Covid is the only new player over the same time period. “But you got vaccinated, it’s the vaccine.” You say. Well I’ve been sick pre and post vaccination, so again let me lube up that cactus for you. The fact that I have managed to stay out of the hospital is amazing to me. But, yeah, fuck this. I’m starting to get down right ornery, which is saying something for me.

Okay, I’m done being a bitch now. Oh, and Go Blue!

[glorious-blackout]

I associate you with a whole bunch of things, all of them obviously very lovely! Like Muse, especially the Matt Bellamy pixie description; Arctic Monkeys, especially TBHC and your various funny tags for Alex; TLSP, especially your love for Les Cactus and the Miracle Aligner Hairdo (shudder); concert and book reviews, amazing writing (ANGST), amazing comments on my own writing and drawings (thank you thank you thank you!), Derry Girls (Sister Michael!), "harold they're lesbians ", "not to be a lesbian but jesus fucking christ", junior doctor shenanigans, Brian the squirrel and his many cousins, SCOTLAND 🥰🥰🥰

Awww thank you! 💖💖💖

Literally all you needed to add was Eurovision and you'd have summed me up entirely 😅 And I hope you know just how much I adore your lovely comments on my writing as well 🥰

(Also shush, the Miracle Aligner hairstyle is a masterpiece)

[senor-plume]

Ole Aloha

Ole aloha

Rock music Shindig party At my place Right now I am rougher than cactus And a freeze head

Jesus Christ plugged in Strapped and ready For the show to begin

Play that slide guitar For me Missy Kimmy With your so sweet tits And an average tattooed Inner thigh

Braille And I can read along With the best of them Blind folks Who claim the spotlight In the midnight sun

Three brave woodsmen Follow me still And the Four horsemen Called in sick Tonight Leaving me to Pollute the world With propaganda As I see fit

Red hot chimp woman Melts my cock with Her slick moist tongue And I come to the conclusion That she is All right with me

All the while The fat man Sings folk songs To the disinterested With acoustic pianos And a drum machine That beats the fuck out of Ringo Any given day

I am your Eminence player Under rock steady needles And I bleed a bit From the corner of my eye As Bridget Bardot Masturbates with a tuba In her snatch Blowing out The Flight of the Bumblebee Giving the Horn blower A stroke But his lips Are a sweet and steady flavor Of womanly juice

Ole aloha

It is time for me To carry my sack of Soldiers to the beach Now

To prepare them for Nazi steel Flying high in the sky And coming down Like a bazooka shell In which gravity Is no one’s best friend

I love my life With calloused fingers Going a mile a minute With guitar strings Flowing through my hair In a Las Vegas wind storm

And I Can rock And I Can roll And I Can fuck And I Can shoot And I Can leave And I Can end this With just a few more rocking letters

But the voodoo snake Shakes its hips To the tunes That are blasting from the Bubble factory jukebox And it is too hot But do you recall Just what we were doing in 1984?

I do

On a Easter morning roof We sat Lighting up the pipe As the church goers Gave us a hypocritical finger And we just Laughed

This is a tourist trap now And the ice cream flows like Gymnasium sweat And this poem… This rocking little number Will end Just Like This

Ole aloha