#jfc this is why I do not use Twitch

[dan-crimes]

Y'know Twitch ads wouldn't be so bad if they didn't BLAST MY FUCKIN EARDRUMS Twitch really said fuck poor ppl RUPTURED EARDRUMS BE UPON YE

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐨 - 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 2k

chapter summary: if you were wondering how Joel took his spicy picture for Asha, this is how.

warnings: male masturbation, use of a mirror, nipple play, spitting, very explicit, a tad bit of joel putting himself down, you're not there physically but you're definitely there in spirit, brief thoughts of rimming, lil bit of self ass play

a/n: this is a little gift for all of you guys who love SIB, and it's also an apology because it looks like I won't be able to get the new chapter out this week but believe me, I'm working on it 🧡 This takes place between chapters four and five, if you don't mind getting spoiled feel free to read. and yes those are pedro's hands in the moodboard jfc look at those veins

“Do you like it?” 

Joel looks down, a bit shocked, but not unpleasantly. Between his fingers, he holds a photo of Asha, naked as the day she was born. Her lean hand covers her sex, leaving it to his imagination and her breasts were glistening—he presumes she used an ointment of some kind— and her nipples were hard, indicating that she played with herself before taking the picture. 

His cock twitches and he swallows thickly around the knot forming in his throat. 

“ ‘Course I do,” he groans, shifting on the bed. “And you want me to take one too?” 

“If you don’t mind.” 

“I don’t but I ain’t as pretty as you are.” 

With a grin, Asha traces a hand above the expense of his bare chest, the tips of her fingers dipping over his sternum. 

“You’re prettier than you think.” 

Joel stares at the window, his jaw tight and fingers tense around the small shot glass that he holds. A breeze comes through the window and rustles the curtains. He can hear crickets. With a deep sigh, he throws back his head and swallows the amber fluid. It burns as it goes down. 

He closes the windows, then the curtains. He’s hoping the liquid courage would take its effect soon. The bottom of the glass hits the bedside table and he falls to the bed, staring begrudgingly at the camera. He decided to place the tripod right in front of the mirror, which now he realizes wasn’t a good idea. He’s not that thrilled in seeing himself being so unsure. He drags his palm down his face, eyes falling to the drawer where Asha’s picture lays. He’s still not sure why she asked for it—well, he knows why, he just doesn’t understand why him. 

Joel’s aware he’s not the worst looking out here, he’s definitely caught your gaze once or twice lingering on him whenever he’s out fixing the truck. And Asha surely seems to be infatuated with him. But that had only happened now. Not when he was young. Not when he was attending high school and working full shifts to take care of Tommy. And when people did approach him, it was mostly to get closer to The Tommy Miller—his younger brother was always the one with the charm and charisma. 

Suddenly Joel’s heart feels lighter, hints of joy warming his chest. Asha wants that picture. She wants to see him, wants to keep him close.

Licking his lips, he walks up to the camera and adjusts the timer. His mind wanders to the moment he shared with you at the bar. He’d acted impulsively, kissing your cheek like that. The only thing granting him relief was the fact that it seemed nothing more but a friendly gesture from the outside. 

It sure as hell hadn’t felt friendly from the inside. It felt more than that. 

Before pressing the shutter, he sits back down on the bed. The old furniture creaking with protest. He peels off his shirt, throws it to the floor. He thinks about what kind of pose to do, and about how naked he should be. He’s not that comfortable showing his dick. He’s not that comfortable showing his face either—so what the hell is he supposed to do? 

He cups his cock and rubs his palm through the denim. An immediate burst of heat rolls up his spine, his dick twitching with need. He breathes out a soft exhale and repeats the movement. Grinding his palm against his growing erection. 

Oh, that definitely feels nice. 

A smile tugs at his lips and his pulse quickens. Without much thought, he swipes his thumb over a nipple. A hiss elevates from the back of his throat, his hips stuttering into the air. With a sudden desperation, he unbuckles his belt and cheats his hand down his jeans. He’s rough with himself. Grabbing his cock and tugging at the head until he’s hard and dripping. Joel sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, the pain also adding to the heat growing between his legs. 

“This should be good,” he murmurs, walking back up to the camera. He clicks the shuffle and stumbles back, he tries to strike something similar to a pose. He stretches a bit, sucks in his stomach, and decides to leave his hand lingering down his pants. 

His chest heaves, but he’s excited when he hears the click. He’s genuinely surprised at how aroused he is, thick drops of precum heavy over his knuckles. 

Joel had never considered himself to be a kinky person. As far as he knew, he was into the same things as most guys his age. But maybe he had more going on in this thick noggin of his than he thought. 

Joel definitely doesn’t mind the camera now. 

The picture pops out and he yanks it away from the device. He wags it in the air a bit, a form of a body slowly appearing on glossy paper. He takes a good look at himself. Half of his face is out of frame, which pleases him. There’s a slight blur to the background that he kinda likes. Thanks to the way his hand is hidden underneath the front of his jeans, his forearm looks quite nice and strong. 

With a pleased smile, he places it between the pages of a magazine. Then he allows himself to fall back to the bed, his legs hanging off the side. Joel grunts as he kicks off his jeans, not wanting to feel restricted anymore. It’s not often he’s alone in the house. He plans on taking advantage of it. 

He pulls a pillow down to where his head is, getting comfortable, he glances at himself through the mirror. A flush darkens his cheeks. He never watched himself before. Never saw the faces he makes. Some part of him wants to ignore the sudden interest and just take care of his…situation, but the other part of him wants to experiment. It almost feels like someone is watching him. 

He remembers seeing a mirror in your house. Have you ever indulged in this way? Get naked in front of the mirror and fuck yourself with a toy that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as his cock could be? 

I’m fucking losing it, he thinks. But he can’t stop thinking about it now. 

Joel's hand moves down to his cock, his fingertips brushing over the sensitive head. His breathing becomes shallow as he starts to stroke himself, the soft moans escaping his lips filling the quiet room. He closes his eyes and imagines you there with him, your fingers tracing along his body, your lips pressing against his skin. 

His fingers trail down his chest, gliding over the curves of his nipples, each touch sends a shiver, his tighs going taut and stiff. His eyes flicker to the mirror, he catches a glimpse of himself - naked, a flush of pink creeping up from his chest to his neck.

He hesitates, wondering what he's doing, and why he's doing it. But then he remembers you, the way you looked at him at the bar, the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, the way you leaned in close when you spoke. Your scent; a sharp inhale of blooming flowers mixed with the suffocating scent of the paint that you use. You’re a ghostly presence, something that’s always with him, but not in the way that he wants. 

Joel squeezes his cock and moves up his hand, swiping the head with the flat of his palm. He wants everything to be wet, messy, and tight. With a sudden impulse, he pushes his upper body off the bed and goes to spit on his cock. A soft tremor burrows in his stomach. A rather indulgent moan coming alive in the back of his throat. 

Pursing his lips, he spits again, the wetness instantly being spread out with his hand. He watches the way his cock glistens through the mirror. Joel wants to believe it’s your slick instead, making him warm and wet. You’d be so eager to take him, so needy for him to fuck you. His teeth sink into the inside of his cheek. He’d make you beg a bit for it first. Joel would want to hear your voice getting high and squeaky, but he wouldn’t let the game go on for too long. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s not appreciative of you and your perfect pussy. 

His strokes speed up, wet sounds getting louder. Joel allows his imagination to run wild. A string of sultry images flashes in his mind. 

You, on your knees, struggling to take his cock down your throat. 

You, bent over, asscheeks spread, begging him to fill you up. 

You, asking for him to fuck you harder, faster. 

And him, eager to follow every command. 

Fuck, and you’d look so good too. Moaning his name, soaking his cock and fingers. He licks his lips, imagining how you would taste like. Something sweet, he bets, sweet and maybe a bit bitter. Just like you. 

Jerking himself, a visceral whine crawls out of his throat. His eyes flutter shut for a brief moment and he swears he can feel you. Your weight, your heat—all of it crashing down on him and bringing him near the peak. He loosens his grip, traces the throbbing vein that curls around his cock with the blunt of his nail. With a shallow breath, he slips his fingers lower.

Joel’s mouth floods when he cups his balls, rolling them in his palm, he gives them a gentle tug. The coil in his stomach tightens, a tremble overwhelming him. With his tongue between his lips, his fingers brush the skin right underneath. His eyes snap wide open, liquid, molten, lava-like pleasure boils his veins—he gasps and his hips stutter into the air, his dick painfully hard, drips over his stomach. 

His hand dips further down his legs. Very gently, Joel circles the puckered hole with the pad of his middle finger but doesn’t dare to go further. He never has. This is as far as he’s gone, discovering that the little tease was enough to get him riled up at a young age. He imagines your tongue teasing over the hole instead of his finger. 

“Fuck.” 

His own voice sounds estranged to him. It sounds so deep, and raspy. Like he’s been sick for days. A shudder overwhelms him when he wraps his calloused fingers around his cock once more. He’s so fucking close. His breathing comes in short, shallow pants, the head of his cock a dark red. He fuck himself into his fist harder, faster, tightens the gap, thinking that it’s you. 

His eyes move back to the mirror, his other hand teasing at his nipples, pulling and twisting them until he moans out loud. The sight of himself, of his own arousal, is a heady aphrodisiac. He’s wrecked. It never felt this good before. There’s a buzz in his veins, an itch that can’t be scratched. His cock is drooling all over himself. His breath catches in his throat—He’s about to—shitshitshit—

Joel fixes his gaze on his reflection; he looks so out of it, lips swollen and parted, hair a mess and eyes glazed over. Fuck, he’s starting to understand now what Asha meant by calling him pretty. 

A long whine leaves his lips as the first string of pearly white cum splashes over his stomach. It’s followed by another one, and then another. His eyes roll back into his skull. He feels it on his chest, stomach, knuckles….a growl rattles in his chest. Pleasure rakes his body from his toes to his head. He strokes himself harder, loosening and tightening his grip around his cock to mimic the feel of your fluttering cunt might be. Joel’s eyes flutter closed, heavy pants leaving his lips. He feels dizzy, disoriented. 

When he opens his eyes again, he smooths his hand over his stomach, spreading the stickiness all over his sweaty skin. He cheats another glance at the mirror. 

God, he wishes you were here to clean him up.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little interlude ♡ I do realize that some parts of this might be a bit out of character for Joel but I just love thinking of him as someone who always wanted to experiment more but just never had a chance to do so, a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. He's just looking for that person he can trust to have some fun with 🤭 I also think of him being a bit self coincidence which we will be seeing more of in the future.

Wishing everyone an amazing weekend, new chapter will be coming soon!

[missveryvery]

I want to know wtf is going to happen with the dub of ep 4 *_* in the meantime, while I wait to know how high to turn my anger dial, Ep 5 thoughts under cut.

So many tiny things!

I yelled when Shi Qingxuan landed and his arms were so jacked, holy shit, what?!??!?! He's so BIG.

I thought Hua Cheng swinging his sword around looked awkward ;0; but all the other weapon usage looked good?! Why was e'ming animated at 2 frames a second ;0;?! That's e'ming secret power, lowering the frame rate.

The little twitch in Ming Yi's hand really made it seem like Shi Qingxuan started fighting because he was mad Ming-xiong was hurt instead of just practicality. LOVE THAT.

Xie Lian gripping Shi Qingxuan so hard it left marks ;0;?!?! Xie Lian loves Shi Qingxuan? Must protecc him? ;0;?!?? They're such cute little friends.

Feng Xin being the god on duty and coming before merits were even used. Immediately dropping his hesitation about speaking to him when Xie Lian is hurt.

Mu Qing rolling in like a huge bitch "so what if he's hurt, we all get hurt on patrol >:V" like he's NOT WRONG. Probably, if Xie Lian was any other god Feng Xin would be less freaked out. Mu Qing continually gets pissed off when Feng Xin falls into loyal dog mode. Which is actually him being pissed off at himself for falling back into loyal dog (cat) mode. He loves bitching at people for doing something stupid and then doing it himself right afterwards. Which is exactly what he's going to do in the next episode (assuming it follows the book, the manhua left that part out). "What are you looking so concerned for? >:V *is there, also being concerned*"

We finally got real dialogue out of these two, jfc.

Mu Qing healing Ming Yi!!! And picking him up!! Touching his chest!! A++++!!! Were those 4 dudes who carried Ming Yi away supposed to be his? I wouldn't think so except they made Mu Qing get so handsy there and their outfits reminded me of his blueberry boys from season 1.

Mu Qing looking manic about the idea of Xie Lian killing the royal family! in the book, I thought maybe this was the narrator misunderstanding his facial expression but they really did make him look fucking excited about it. So if he IS thrilled, I'm guessing this is "oh sweet, he got revenge!"? On the other hand, when Xie Lian fesses up to it, he seems as shocked and horrified as Shi Qingxuan and Feng Xin?

So:

He's pleased he got revenge then changed his mind about being pleased once they got the details and then was freaked out

He's pleased Xie Lian is being accused of something fucked up but doesn't think he'd actually do it so he's freaked out that he did

He's pleased he did it, loves that for him, and is freaked out Xie Lian admitted it because he'd prefer he get away with it

He wasn't pleased in the first place and that was just his fucked up facial expressions

(Ohhh he has eyeliner now!!!)

Shi Qingxuan catching Taihua's sword with his whisk, why is he so rad. I love that he thinks in practical, social terms, he considers consequences. "If Hua Cheng hassles you about this, make sure you blame me, it's all my fault" "throwing out merits is way more effective" "you two weren't going to do anything so let me be the bad guy".

[ny000mdraws]

GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED WATCHING EARTHSPARK???

I will contain my thoughts with a bulleted list.

- AAAAAAAAA

- i love the decepticons getting redemption/ doing good/ getting understood instead of being beaten up

- MEGATRON

- DID YOU GUYS NOTICE TWITCH USING MEGATRON’S MOVE IN THE AIR WITH THE BLASTER SHOT-

- nightshade was the mvp. they deserve some science-y gadgets after this

- when jon said “rescue bots to the rescue” I GASPED

- STARSCREAM!!! SLAY QUEEN GIRL BOSS 💅✨✨✨

- AAAAAAAAA

- my god, mandroid was ugly after that transformation

- good riddance karen is gone but JFC THE WAY SHE DIED???

- i love how all the terrans are getting adopted 😭

- that one scene where soundwave and swindle are getting a ride from hardtop. they’re friends now

- BREAKDOWN AND BEE ARE DATING. YOU LITERALLY CAN NOT CHANGE MY MIND.

- HE FCKING WINKED-

- ALSO BREAKDOWN BEING ALIVE WAS THE BIGGEST RELIEF OF MY LIFE

- starscream growing a liking for hashtag (and the other terrans) is not what i expected but i need it to stay that way 🥺

- i also like this version of star A LOT

- like yea, he is still cowardly, but there’s a lot more to his character if you watch

- like he automatically assumes nova and sky would leave him :( maybe it’s a defense mechanism for him so that he won’t feel guilt for trying to survive

- him protecting twitch and hashtag- *cries*

- the one time i got mad at megatron was when he hurt starscream. but when hashtag told him to back off? yes girl, tell him what’s up!

- also im glad megatron let him go, which shows his character. he knows him as dangerous yet when he saw star protecting the kids, he knew he had the capacity to be good

- fck mandroid and karen

- we stan dot, alex, and jon

- also fck that guy who called in ghost when the terrans subdued shockwave?? like they literally took him down in front of you?? YOU BUFFOON!!

- idk why but im so into grimlock’s voice

- i wish tarantulas showed up :(

- AAAAAAAAAAAAA

- since the energon depletion ray/ healing ray was worldwide, this is enough reason for me to believe tracks exists in this universe

- yes, i am delusional. shut up

- some other characters i hope will show up are prowl, jazz, blaster, perceptor, and thundercracker

- really any old character that never get used in animated media would be awesome like inferno or hound

Okay, I think I’m done.

[peejsocks]

pleaseeeee do jealous bam i’m begging and pleading

LOVE ur work

a/n: thank you ❤️‍🩹

i am so sorry for this he is my wattpad bf

jealous bam hcs

first of all it goes both ways

but bam is a jealous boyfriend

he’s jealous of everybody, no one is safe

no matter the gender, if you’re friends or strangers, he will not allow anyone else to be your #1

not the type to start a screaming match over it, rather actually beg for your attention in a very stupid way

it’s flattering

his jealousy is comparable to that of a kid who sees their mother hugging another child for the first time and feels betrayed

before you started dating, he would pretend to not care just to see if you were paying attention to him deliberately

if you weren’t, he’d do that thing where he comes up to you and starts headbanging so you look at him

or laugh obnoxiously loud so you’d want to see what was funny ? maybe ? 👉🏻👈🏻

he loves so much when you laugh with him, of course he proportionately hates when you laugh at someone else’s joke

it could be the jackass or cky boys, if pontius or dico make you chuckle he’ll immediately tackle them to the ground

and then you’re laughing at him squirming on the floor and crouching down beside him asking if he’s okay, oh now all’s good :)

because your eyes are crinkly and your hands are closing around his biceps to help him up

his chest grows 3 sizes when that happens

he’s obssessed with stealing your attention from others and of course his friends notice

ryan loves to tease him the most, constantly putting his arm around your neck from behind and picking you for his team in challenges (like the treasure hunt)

he hates it so much, begrudgingly accepting he has to win so your focus is back on him

oh he will win now

he is obviously very competitive, proud when he gets to tell you “next time, you’re on my team. you deserve to know what it’s like to win ;)”

(the times you are on his team he is so excited, even more restless than usual, constantly asking for your input and making you co-captain)

he finds out ryan tried to get you to flash the camera in the treasure hunt even though it wasn’t on the list and gets sooooo mad

“just ask her out already jfc” - ryan

cky spreading the gossip around the jackass guys to push bam’s buttons

i’ve said it before bam would be extremely jealous of knox, and it’s your friendship with the southerner that finally gets you two together

“johnny! 🥰” - you and april everytime knox shows up in west chester

“hiya, doll” = butthurt bam

“i don’t trust it, man. you shouldn’t either.” “why not?” “do you want to go out sometime?” “…what? did i miss something?”

ofc you say yes and you start dating soon after

everyone is so relieved and not at all surprised

“that’s right, none of you fuckers can do anything about it” - bam, the only one with a defensive attitude about it

his jealousy doesn’t change much, however

def uses the excuse of a camera to show you off and refer to you as “his” all the time

because of you being in vlb, you get a lot of public attention and people trying to hit on you

he will put his finger in faces and start fights

“you pulled that? just saying you come off as a pretty shitty boyfriend, margera. bet i could do better”

holding his hand to try and prevent a brawl but it’s too late

impossible to stay mad at him when you’re attending to his bruises and he asks if he is a bad boyfriend

* nsfw hcs below *

reassuring he’s the best with some +18 activities, trying to be careful with his busted lip

he melts under your praises, cock twitching and hot white liquid dripping down your legs

he sits with you afterwards, holding you in his lap and running his hands over your body, repeating that he is glad to have you

when he finds out the biggest mistake of your life, having an ex’s name tattoed on your back (you were 18 and trying to be rebellious), he’s persistent in fucking you from behind and biting over the inked lettering until it’s purple

“think you learned your lesson?” “for now, but i might need a reminder”

ngl i have so many thoughts on this i just don’t want to make it too long thank you for reading this far

[duskwingmoth]

notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):

girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes

2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe

ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs

do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...

Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"

"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"

"beginning with him dying"

hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"

"while his turret did the hard work"

"predictably nowhere onscreen"

I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead

attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe

S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)

Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death

Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me

There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead

huniepop lmao

I was still in iPhone Hell

Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing

playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here

Scoutposting but it's overwatch

"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"

Bitch shut UP about Pokémon

Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general

The Sword Art Online hater has logged on

All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad

How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal

Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it

(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)

The Traumadumping,

Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half

Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.

The moment

Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time

girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant

Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines

360 controller sucks send post

It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point

girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior

Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday

Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains

Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment

Not long now

The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived

"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about

September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:

There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone

"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance

Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code

Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill

Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even

Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed

Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely

the wii u woes

And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad

I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again

Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important

Also the day i committed to my new name

More coding failure

Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen

(It didn't. We are alive and together)

You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself

A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary

[percontaion-points]

Firstlife chapter 3

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 3

The guard—I call him Colonel Anus—grabs her. At the moment of contact, she spins, raising the arm he’s holding and also cradling it against her chest while rotating her wrist, putting her palm just under her chin. She uses her other hand to latch on to the meaty part of his palm. Then she steps back, twisting his wrist. He drops, hitting the floor with a thud, his arm now positioned behind his back. 

We get it. You watched some self defence videos before you wrote this. Please move on. 

Nurse Ratched pulls a syringe from the pocket of her lab coat. “A special cocktail for a special girl.” Bow is held down and stuck in the neck. Her entire body begins to twitch, but she remain conscious. Most other kids pass out when they’re drugged. 

Guilt fills me. Could I have done something?

How exactly do you tell another “patient” at the “asylum” to stop being crazy?

His eyes...they’re as bright as the sun I haven’t seen in over a year, and they are the most mesmerizing shade of gold with flecks of crystalline blue. In one, there are five flecks. In the other, three. 

How fucking close are they standing where she can see the flecks in his irises? JFC, personal space.

“Let’s do the introduction thing so my heartbeat will finally calm down. I’m Killian. And you are stunningly beautiful.”

Yep. Here we go. 

“Are you playing hard to get, lass? It’s never happened to me before, so I need clarification.” 

“I’m not playing anything. And I’m impossible to get.”

 He rubs his hands together with something akin to glee. “Well, then. Challenge accepted.” 

Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

“Her name is Bow, if that’s what you mean.” 

“Bow.” He laughs, low and intimate. “An archer uses a bow and arrow. How cute.”

This killed the man. 

“Did you get your degree at Discount Psychology?”

Bold of you to assume that he even went to medical school. 

Or school in general. 

A flash-scribe, I realize. A way to send a recorded message. Now I’m even more confused. What does the mother who abandoned me, not visiting for seven months, wish to say to me?

No mention of how her mother raised her up to be brainwashed. And then the second it was determined that Ten had the power of free will, had her locked up in a prison for belligerent children. 

“Sign with Troika, Ten.” Those copper eyes beseech me. “You’ll never regret it.”

 “Prove it. Give me a guarantee.” 

“My word isn’t good enough?”

Why the hell would Ten trust a person in a prison that she met literally a week ago?

Before we parted, the TL assigned to me asked me a question that cracked through a hard outer shell I hadn’t known I’d erected. 

Are you living your parents’ dream...or your own?

And there it is. Her parents are punishing Ten simply because she’s not living up to THEIR expectations. 

I’m not saying that the Troikans are better than the Myriads. But at least somebody had the decency to remind Ten that she doesn’t have to blindly follow along with whatever her parents tell her to do. 

Are you living your parents’ dream...or your own? 

I’d scoffed at him then, but that night and every one after, I’d wondered... Why do I believe what I believe? What is truth and what is lie? What is real? What makes me right and so many others wrong? What if I’m wrong? 

The wily bastard had planted seeds of doubt in the rich soil of my brain, and the more I searched for answers, the more those seeds were watered...the stronger they grew. Now the leaves are so thick I can’t see past them. 

You know what? I am here for this religious deconstruction message. 

I have a lot to say about organised religion, but it’s kind of personal, and too long for this. 

Chapter 3 summary: The guards tell Bow that she has to go to the gym while Ten goes to the commons for socialisation hour before classes start. Bow takes that poorly, and gets into a physical fight with the guards. And she probably would have won, but a nurse comes and gives her the happy shot. 

The “new boy” – who is finally introduced as Killian– slides up next to Ten the second she’s alone. They start flirting, and Ten can’t take her eyes off from his “religious affiliation” tattoos that cover his hands and arms. (I’m still struggling to keep the two factions separate in my mind; they’re literally the same.) Sloan interrupts whatever they’re doing, and starts trying to flirt with Killian instead. He says he’s only got eyes for Ten, which Ten takes offence about. Says that him calling her by her nickname is too familiar. 

Dr. Van comes in and makes Killian introduce himself; this only makes the other girls in the group therapy fall in love with him more. Killian says that he’s a diehard Myriad groupie, and Dr. V thinks that he should force Ten to spend time with him simply so that she’ll sign according to her parents’ wishes. She says that it’ll only make her sign with the other group, but Killian seems to sense that she’s bluffing. 

Dr. V then asks to hear people’s “complaints”, but Ten knows that every single thing will only be used against them later. One girl starts to talk about spiders in her room, but when Ten tries to stop her, Dr. V only turns his attention to HER instead. He openly starts bullying a girl literally half his age, and then when she refuses to play his stupid game, he orders the guards take her for “punishment”. They take Ten to her room, where Dr. V threatens to wash the wall of the “tick marks” Ten had made unless she plays along. She refuses, so it gets washed. 

Before he leaves, Dr. V gives Ten a video flash drive from her mom. On it, Mrs. Shitstain Parent is like “I’m going to get you out of there!” But the entire thing is hella suspicious. And I’m kind of sensing that she’s had an illegal second child since locking up her first. 

Bow then wakes up, and again starts pressing Ten signing with Troika. She explains that Ten is a conduit, a rare and precious person. Which is causing both sides to try and fight over her. This goes on for a couple of pages, but the conversation is rather circular. 

This leads Ten to think about talking with a Troikan labourer, who was like “Are you following your dreams, or simply going along with your parents’ dreams for you?” Which made her start to doubt every single thing she’d ever once thought. 

[unfoundhoney]

little blade ↠

↠ platonic!technoblade x fem!reader ; fluff

↠ masterlist

prior to mcc 4, no one really knew who you were

you started streaming in 2018 when you were about 14

(you’re around tommy & tubbo’s age for practical purposes)

you streamed for essentially no one for a while

you only got a few thousand followers on twitch in early 2020

mostly because you started posting highlights from your streams to youtube & tiktok

you established yourself as someone who’s soft & babie irl but completely merciless in-game

it’s very contradictory & very fun to watch

you could two-hit kill a two-person team in bed wars w/o a second thought then spend the next few minutes apologizing over & over again

you signed up to participate for the first 3 mccs but only got in for mcc 4

you were in the green guardians alongside petezahhutt, michaelmcchill, & vikkstar123

ngl

you were nervous

very nervous

but you buckled down & trained like crazy, w/ & w/o your teammates

soon mcc rolled around

you were just a little bundle of nerves

you couldn’t calm down for the life of you, poor thing :(

but you still compete absolutely beautifully

you sweep the competition & just do so so well

you score top 5 in every event

there’s this compilation of other people reacting to seeing your name pop up at the end of every game & just being like “who even is that they’re killing it”

you & the rest of the green guardians land first place after the 8 events

(yes i’m changing what actually happened deal with it)

so your team & the purple pandas compete in dodgebolt

here’s where you really shine

bc your signature play is a bow

you are a beast with a bow

you get out phil & techno first round but tommy gets you & the pandas end up winning

second round, your teammates get out quickly & it’s a 3v1 between you & the other team

you’re just like “ok here we fucking go come on”

wilbur’s gone

you go for techno (the biggest threat) next

you shoot him out & he’s just raging because “THIS CHILD I’VE NEVER HEARD OF IS BEATING ME AT MINECRAFT WHAT IS THIS”

then you land a shot on tommy

but phil gets you out right after

you’re all (´•̥ ᵔ •̥`) but your team is just hyping you up bc you did so well like wtf

(pete) y/n coming in with the carry!

(vik) let’s go y/n!!

(michael) don’t be sad, y/n; you did so well!

& everyone else is kind of just like “who tf is this child & why is she so doing so well???”

so purple pandas end up snatching first place overall

but second for your first mcc?

that’s poggers, dude

you’re just chilling trying to calm down after that intense dodgebolt game

(you) oh, hello yammy. guys, yammy’s clicking at me this is so cool i used to watch her videos-

(michael) Y/N!!!!

(you) yes?

(michael) you’re first individual!!

(you) .........you wot, mate

you run to go check individual

& there you are

y/nl/n_ with 4419 points, about 100 points more than technoblade

wait

more than-

more than TECHNOBLADE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PLACED ABOVE TECHNOBLADE???!?!!

THE TECHNOBLADE?

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD TECHNOBLADE????

BIG SCARY MAN TECHNOBLADE??????????

YOU GOT FIRST OVER T E C H N O B L A D E

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you’re just staring up at yourself in shock then slowly turn to find technoblade already staring @ you

that’s fucking terrifying jfc

you hide behind a wall & hope he leaves

this is so cool & like wow you’re a god but also oh no you’re on scary man technoblade’s bad side

you get so many more viewers after mcc 4 it’s crazy

you really start popping off

it’s only about a week after mcc 4 when you finally have to face the consequences of your actions

@technothepig tweeted: @y/nl/n_ i demand satisfaction. duel me, coward.

what the FUCK

that’s TERRIFYING oh my god

YOU DON’T DO WELL WHEN THREATENED BY SCARY MEN ON THE INTERNET

@ph1lza replied: techno, don’t threaten young women on the internet.

@technothepig replied: i. demand. satisfaction.

@tommyinnit replied: i agree with techno. fight him, coward. @y/nl/n_

@ph1lza replied: please don’t encourage him

you plan things out & actually end up doing a rip-off 1v1 mcc

techno’s got the rest of the sbi spectating but you don’t really have any streamer friends so you just show up by yourself w/ no posse like:

hi o/

phil feels bad & hops on a call with you when the games start to keep you company

you win skyblockle by shooting techno off into the void

you win build mart as well

techno wins survival games

tgttos: techno wins

rocket spleef: you win

battle box: techno wins

hole in the wall: techno wins

parkour warrior: techno wins

dodgebolt: you win

normal dodgebolt rules don’t apply, so techno wins but barely

you’re a good sport about it; you have no qualms with losing to Technoblade

but after that, techno actually stays in contact with you

you become pretty good friends weirdly enough

he thinks you’re an impressive player & you’ve got this innocent, blunt sense of humor that can just make techno lose it

you are the ultimate “looks like they could kill you, would kill you,” “looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll but would still kill you” duo

y’all are an iconic duo in no time as you two stream together

you leave no survivors when playing sky wars

viewers can’t help but feel sorry for those who go up against you honestly :(

people start calling you “little blade” （｡>‿‿<｡ ）

words cannot describe how much you love that nickname

at first techno was like “that’s cringe” but then he started calling you it ironically & we all know where that leads

uh huh

he calls you little blade unironically now mf uwu

mans is soft for you (& philza) only

it’s well into the smp timeline when you join the dream smp

like, you joined just after the manberg-pogtopia war

techno’s off living in the snowy biome & you join like

hi! o/

you see techno’s on when you first join & want to go find him, but you’re kind of forced into a tour of the server by quackity & karl

quackity’s being himself & karl’s trying to contain him and failing

good content good content

you’re being shown around l’manberg when technoblade shows up out of nowhere, kills quackity & karl, threatens that he’ll canonically kill them if they try to make you join l’manberg, & tells you to come with him

so you do

he takes you to his new base & says you can build a house near his

he even helps you build

the favoritism is strong with this one

everyone knows you’re his favorite

even techno consciously knows you’re his favorite

but he would die before admitting it

not really

in his own streams he’s mentioned how great you are

(techno) y/n is... she’s seriously so great. she’s an awesome friend. she checks up on me & reminds me to take care of myself. she’s seriously-... she just messaged me on discord. oh god, is she watching this?

n/n sent: hey! i’m in class rn but make sure to drink water during your stream <3

(techno) ...is this god telling me to be a better person? .......no one clip any part of this. no one tell her i said any of this. pretend it never happened

in the lore, you always have techno’s back

his reasoning- if a little extreme- is always sound

you & phil are like the only people to not just use him omfg you three make the fans wanna cry ｡･ﾟﾟ･(థ Д థ。)･ﾟﾟ･｡

the butcher army tries to kidnap you & use you as bait to trap & kill techno

but you kill half of them & escape the rest & run off to warn techno

you & dream end up helping him escape & off you went back home

when tommy showed up during his exile, techno was just constantly comparing how nice you are to how annoying & inconvenient tommy is

top tier comedy

(techno) i adopted one child who set the bar too high & now no one will ever live up to the expectations y/n has set- TOMMY STOP EATING MY GAPPLES

you don’t go with techno & tommy when they sneak into l’manberg for the festival

you do however, show up out of nowhere to have techno’s back when tommy goes back to tubbo

what a fucking legend you are

loyalty like you would not believe we love to see it

the next day, you, techno, dream, & phil lay waste to l’manberg

after doomsday you really haven’t done much lore-wise beyond being a good concerned friend for ranboo

(btw you’re good friends w/ ranboo; you, tubbo, & ranboo are a *chef’s kisses* trio)

all in all

technoblade is your big brother

you two are honestly best friends & get along really well

people love your two’s relationship because you seem like polar opposites but get along really well

a wholesome friendship

more ↠

part two

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

Hey you! Ok how about Pedro’s characters and the first time they wink at you. ILY and thank you 🙈

Hey babes! I simultaneously love and hate you for this ask because jfc winking irl is so fucking skeezy but, as with a lot of things I previously thought I despised, when Pedro does it I get a little weak in the knees lol. So now I have an excuse to comb through every gif of him winking. You know. For research. For SCIENCE. (Under the cut, cause fucking HELL. This got loooooong.)

(Gif made by @djjarindin )

Whiskey- On your very first day as a Statesman you make the dubious acquaintance of Agent Jack “Whiskey” Daniels. You’re standing at the window of your new office, flipping one of your knives in the air idly, when a handsome man in tight blue jeans and a black Stetson saunters in without so much as a by your leave. His grin is lazy, charming, and you acknowledge, in the deepest recesses of your hind brain, incredibly enticing.

“Well howdy there, darling,” he greets, thumbs hooked in the front of his belt, drawing your gaze to- is that a flask on his belt buckle? His mustache twitches up on one side as he notices that your eyes landed exactly where he had intended.

“Now what’s a pretty little thing like you doing playing with those pig stickers? You could hurt yourself with knives like that.” He steps closer to you, one hand leaving his belt to brace against the window next to your head so he can lean further into your space.

“Probably the same thing you’re doing playing with those pistols you’ve got under your jacket or that lasso at your hip,” you reply coolly, not backing away from his intrusion into your space. His raises his and he huffs a laugh through his nose.

“Well touché, kitten.” He bends a little at his knees to catch your eyes better and suggests softly in a voice that 90% of you demands you to listen to, “How’s about you and I get outta here and I can give you a tour of the place? Maybe, show you the ropes?” And he then winks at you.

That last 10% of your willpower has something to say to his blatant attempt at getting into your pants.

You slap him.

Javier Peña- You had been warned by more than one person that feminism hadn’t really made its way to Columbia yet when you accepted the portion to field agent and transferred down to the DEA office in Bogota. It was 1990 however, and you kind of expected the Americans you worked with to at least be a little more on board with the times.

That was on you, men were men it seemed, American or Columbian.

The tall blond who introduced himself as Murphy seemed nice enough, he was friendly and a little distracted, and he sounded almost apologetic as he led you further into the office to meet the other member of your team.

“Well hello there, sugar,” a man a couple of inches shorter than Steve greeted you from where he had been leaning on a desk by the door. He stood up straight and sauntered- there was really no other word for how pants that tight made a man walk- closer to the two of you, a wide smile stretched his mustache over his handsome face and showed off the dimples in his cheeks.

Oh lord. One of those men.

“Javi this is-“ Murphy started, clearly trying to diffuse a potential situation but the man interrupted him, and his hand reached for yours, holding it a little longer than necessary.

“A girl too pretty for your married ass to be talking to, Steve.” He still had your hand in between his two large warm ones and you filed that information away for use at a later, much more solitary time. He had the audacity to wink at you and you sighed and rolled your eyes. Ah well.

“I’m your new partner.” Guess feminism still has some strides to make no matter what the nationality of idiot male.

Ezra- You had been stuck on this interminably brown moon for a week and you were going stir crazy. You and your still new partner had landed in a manner that was less than gentle or correct on this nameless rock, and not only was your landing gear bent at an angle a university mathematician would have trouble describing, Ezra couldn’t get the damn thing to start again. 

You weren’t any sort of mechanic by nature, that was one of the things he brought to the table, so until Ezra managed to repair whatever was wrong with this hunk of junk the two of you were still paying off, you were stuck sitting on your hands doing nothing. You had no particular desire to go traipsing around this rock by yourself, protection was one of the other things the man added to your partnership, as you had learned early in your mining career that that generally did not end well for people like you.

So there you sat, bored, listening to the click and clank of Ezra’s tools as he did whatever it was that you needed to do to get an impulse engine working enough to take off and dock to an FTL vessel. And listening to Ezra’s constant talking.

He was currently telling you a rather long winded, even for him and that was saying something, story about how an old partner of his woke up every morning and sanitized the floor of their pod with antibac spray before he would let any of the other four men set foot on it.

“The gentleman in question was a rather odd duck, badger,” he called out to you from half way inside the pod. “Why, in all my years and in all my travels in the black, I must avow never having seen someone so resolved on keeping the extremities of his associates so unsullied. I never cognized if his time running the stars had finally fractured his wits and this was the inevitable concomitant of a life lived as we do, or if it was a tic peculiar to him for all of his life. Still and all, one advantage I did discover at the conclusion of that particular venture: the bottoms of my socks never have been cleaner.” 

An unexpectedly loud guffaw punched its way out of your mouth and you dropped the flat rock you had been attempting to balance on a piece of the aforementioned broken landing equipment. Unfortunately, Ezra decided at that exact time to shimmy his way out from under your craft and instead of falling harmlessly back to the ground where you had found it, it bounced off of his rather distracting ass on its way down. 

He stopped moving and you were about to apologize, you really hadn’t meant to basically throw a rock at him, no matter how much he annoyed you at times, when you heard his voice float up to you again, a little amused, and a little something else that you had had occasion to notice a few times before but had never thought to classify.

“Badger, did you just take your hand to my ass?” You felt your face flush and wondered if this planet’s atmosphere wasn’t as hospitable to humans as you had thought. 

“What?!” You squeaked, voice cracking when it hit a pitch normally very much out of your range.”No! I just dropped a rock!” You heard him chuckle from your feet and refused to look at him as he shuffled all the way out from under to pod and stood to his full height in front of you. He chucked you under the chin and finally you looked up into his eyes. 

“Because darling, I strongly advocate any physical contact that you might desire to have with any part of my body you so wish, at any time of your choosing,” he told you with a wink.

Catfish- You had moved to Texas to take up residence on the ranch your grandfather had left you, not out of any real desire to take up the cowboy life. You hated how hot it was, you hated how slowly everyone talked, you hated how big the entire goddamned state was, and if one more goddamned truck managed to take up three goddamned parking spaces at the grocery store one more time you were going to throw a temper tantrum that would make all their southern asses wish they had managed to secede. 

That was how you had met Catfish (”No that isn’t my real name; no one but my mama calls me Francisco”). He had been the next asshole in a truck to take up more than what your space conscious Yankee ass had deemed his due. 

“Listen ma’am-”

“Don’t you “ma’am” me, how old are you implying I look?!”

“Sorry, miss, if you’re gonna holler at me, could we step a little further away from the truck? I just got that baby to sleep, and if she wakes up starts cryin’ again, I think I’m gonna start too.”

After a meet cute like that, it was inevitable that the two of you would hit it off as well as you did, and so a year later saw you still in a state that you were convinced was trying to kill you (hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, Republicans, and rattlesnakes???), stretched out on Catfish’s beat up couch, more than a little drunk, and a lot happier than when you had left New York to come here. 

Catfish set both new bottles of beer down on the coffee table in front of you and smiled down at you with that big grin that summoned both the dimples in his cheeks and made you feel like your heart was growing four sizes larger inside your chest. He took off his ever present beat up baseball cap and tossed it on your lap. His hair was simultaneously flattened and a mess and you were sure he couldn’t look more handsome in this moment if he had an army of Hollywood stylists attack him. 

He reached down to he hem of his grey Henley and started to pull it up. 

“Whoa there cowboy!” You exclaimed with a grin, sitting up and plopping his hat onto your head for safe keeping. “I didn’t realize I was getting a show when I came over here!” He stopped with his shirt half way off his torso and looked down at you with an eyebrow cocked. 

“It’s hot as goddamned balls in here, baby, and I’m wearin’ two of these things. One of ‘em at least is comin’ off.” He pulled it off the rest of the way and straightened his first layer that had attempted to escape with its compatriot before reaching down and grabbing his hat off of your head and flopping onto the couch next to you. 

“Hey Fish, how long do you think we have before the baby wakes up?” He shrugged, his head rolling on the back of the couch o face you. 

“I dunno, darlin’, why do you ask?” You bit your lip and smiled up at him, playing with the fingers of the hand he had settled on your thigh. 

“Oh, well, you know how watching you nearly get stuck in your shirts really does it for me.” He groaned and slapped your leg lightly as you laughed. 

“I think we’ve got time for whatever you want baby. Helicopter pilots can go straight up pretty fast you know.” He told you with a wink that you were sure was supposed to be alluring. 

Oberyn Martell- The first thing you consciously noticed about Dorne was that it was hot. This was a kind of inescapable heat that permeated your entire body and made you feel like you were cooking from the inside out. You had never before given much thought to what it would feel like to be put into an oven and roasted alive, but without a doubt this is was that feeling. When you went back home to White Harbor you weren’t ever going to complain about the cold ever again.

The second thing you noticed when you put into port in Sunspear- a city quite a bit smaller than most of the cities of the upper six kingdoms the Manderlys sent your father to trade with- was that no one seemed to be wearing a lot of clothes. Which you supposed made sense because you were positively dying in yours.

You quickly changed into a pair of your brother’s breeches and a loose shirt before practically running off the ship and into the dusty warrens of the Shadow City below the walls of the Martell’s castle, eager to stretch your legs after weeks at sea and eat something other than hard tac and salted meat and fish. You figured you had at least a few hours before you would be expected to accompany your father to the castle to haggle about prices for wood and iron and silks and citrus.

The air only got hotter the further from the sea breeze you walked, and as you meandered the twisting and winding bazaars all you could smell were foreign spices and perfumes. Your head was on a swivel trying to take in the sights and sounds of a market radically different from any you had seen before when you walked into a silk covered shoulder. The shoulder belonged to a man nearly a foot taller than you and you wouldn’t have stood a chance at remaining on your feet if two strong arms hadn’t shot out and wrapped around your waist, dragging you back from your rather embarrassing descent to the dusty street and into a warm solid chest.

“I normally have to put in at least some effort in order to sweep someone off their feet, it must be my lucky day that you seem to have decided to do all the hard work for me,” an amused, accented voice said from above you. You felt every word from where your ear was plastered to the bare skin of his chest, his yellow and orange robes belted loosely enough to leave most of his golden skin exposed. You felt your face flush as you shuffled your feet, trying to get them back under you in a way that would allow you to stand and not fall on your face. The man set you back from him gently and you finally looked up

Your savior was beautiful. There wasn’t any other word to describe a face with deep set, smiling eyes that were so deep a brown you really had to look to distinguish his pupils. His nose was curved and prominent, his jaw covered with the same black hair that was cropped closer to his head than you were used to seeing in the North. And his lips were too pretty for a man. They spread into a smile as his eyes met yours, dimples appearing in his cheeks and you were smiling back before you realized it.

“Now,” he said, eyes still laughing. “You are either the worst pick pocket I’ve ever encountered or clearly too taken with the sights around you to be trusted to walk unescorted.” You hoped he never stopped speaking. His voice was deep and rich and at the same time soft and musical and no one in the woods and wilds where you had grown up spoke like he did.

“Uh, yes,” you stuttered and felt your ears burn as he smiled wider, eyebrows in danger of disappearing into his hair. “I mean, no, I’m not a pick pocket! I just, sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, my apologies.” You stuttered stepping further back from him, hoping maybe some more distance would restore your ability to not make an ass out of yourself in front of this handsome stranger. “Thanks for you know,” you featured vaguely at the ground.

“Oh, you’re very welcome for ‘you know’,” the man replied, somehow injecting a completely different meaning to your innocuous words than you had intended. Your face could have been used to light a campfire by now. You needed to get back and get changed before you did something truly stupid.

“Okay, well, um, sorry, again, for walking into you,” you said, backing away. “But uh, I’ve got to, uh, go...” You sort of waved and took off back the way you came, taking care not to run into any more handsome strangers.

You made it back to the ship in time for your father to lecture you about how dangerous it was to just run off in a “city full of wild Dornishmen! Don’t think that because you’re dressed like a man you’d be safe! That ‘sort of thing’ is common here, daughter!” while you dressed in clothes more suitable to both your station and a meeting with the ruling house of the kingdom.

It was somehow cooler within the sandstone walls of the castle, and you amused yourself on the walk up to the raised dais by listening to the different sounds your company’s boots made on the marble floor.

There was a woman sitting on a carved wooden seat and a tall dark haired man standing behind her, leaning indolently against her chair at the top of the steps you and your father stopped at. You listened to your father make the appropriate greetings, hoping that they could come to favorable terms of trade for items and goods they all wanted. And you felt someone staring at you. You looked up at the young woman in the chair as your father introduced you and you smiled and curtsied less gracefully than your mother would have liked. Your father turned his face to the man behind the chair and began to repeat the introduction when a familiar laughing voice interurrupted,

“Oh, I believe we’ve met already, haven’t we, little pick pocket?” Your eyes snapped up from the marble floor to lock onto those dancing brown eyes from earlier this morning. You felt your jaw drop and your face turn what you were sure was a very unattractive shade of crimson as Oberyn Martell, Prince of Dorne grinned and winked at you.

Din- You had been flying with the Mandalorian and his tiny green baby for about a month when you decided that hyperspace was boring and if you wanted any amusement you would have to take a page out of the little man’s book and make your own fun. You knew that stealing pieces of the ship and hiding them would not be as cute as when the baby did it, so that was out. You weren’t a tall person, but you were still bigger than the green terror so playing hide and seek was pretty close to useless. You were grasping at straws until suddenly it hit you like one of the utensils that the tiny monster liked to levitate around the cabin.

You were going to get Mando to laugh.

You had absolutely no idea how you were going to accomplish this, or even any idea at all what a near silent warrior monk that you were still not a hundred percent convinced wasn’t a droid would find funny, so you decided to just do what you did best; you opened your mouth and let the word vomit out. 

You didn’t shut up. If you were awake and not actively hunting someone, you were talking. The baby seemed to enjoy the new amount of noise and animation, but thus far you had only gotten a few sighs and what you thought were exasperated glares from your adult companion. At least, you figured they were glares. His helmet turned to face you and frankly, you were beginning to even get on your own nerves, so he was almost definitely glaring at you under that beskar. 

This went on for four days straight until one day the three of you were sitting in the cockpit, watching the stars zip by, and you decided to narrate yourself drinking a glass of water. You had just gotten to the swallowing part and were attempting to put into words what that felt like when he turned around to face you. 

“If one more word comes out of your mouth I will cut into into small enough pieces that the baby won’t notice it’s a human that he is eating for dinner tonight.”

You choked. And you definitely spat water all over the visor of his helmet. 

You coughed and stared at him, terrified, not sure if these were going to be your last few seconds as a breathing creature, but sure that if they were you at least had the image of the Mandalorian with water and spit sliding down the front of his helmet to console you. 

All three of you sat in silence for at least a minute before he leaned forward very slowly. You leaned as far back as your seat would allow. 

“That was a joke,” he told you, voice warm despite the crackle of his modulator. “You can’t see it, but I just winked.”

Screw making him mad. You were going to kill the Mandalorian. 

Tovar- This was officially one of the worst ways that you could think of to die. You sure that if you were given a few more minutes, and a few less spears pointed in your face to distract you, you could surely come up with at least five different ways that were, in fact, worse, but right now, this seemed pretty awful and didn’t seem likely to get any better. 

“I need you to trust me,” your companion murmured in your ear, his hand on your wrist, stopping you from drawing one of your long knives. You cut your eyes quickly to his normally laughing brown eyes and then back to the soldiers in front of you. 

“That never works out well for me, Tovar,” you remind him in a quiet hiss. He moves his arm from his side to around your shoulders and draws you close and tight against his much taller body. 

“Good day, gentlemen!” He calls jovially to the five armored men blocking their way on the road. You can hear the wide grin that must be plastered on his stupidly handsome face and you send up a fast prayer to God that he doesn’t manage to get you into worse trouble than you were in already. Or that at least William can manage to get you out of it again. 

“Halt,” the spear man in the middle orders, and Tovar stops walking, forcing you to as well, still tucked into his side. His left hand strokes your arm casually (you note its not his preferred sword hand which gives you some hope that he might actually have a plan), and he leans a bit more of his weight on you than you think is really called for. Is he pretending-

“Why whatever are you fine men doing in the middle of the road? Don’t you know there’s a war on! Shouldn’t you be off fighting that fierce some mercenary army?” You want to stab him. His entire left side is open and unguarded mere inches away from your favorite knife, you could slide the blade in right there between his ribs, you could have the pleasure of puncturing his lung and watching him slowly suffocate. Maybe he would finally stop talking. 

“No one is allowed past this point,” the spear man informed you, still glaring. “Who are you and what is your business here?” The other four soldiers inched closer and you stiffen. 

“Don’t,” Tovar ordered you through his clenched teeth, smile still in place. “I can get us out of this, I just need you to play along.”

“If we get out of this I am going to personally castrate you,” you inform him, a clenched tooth smile of your own on your face.

“Anything to get your hands on my cock, eh?” You elbowed him in that unprotected side you had been eyeing before he tried to bargain with the guardians of the road.

“Oh but surely sir, you wouldn’t hinder a poor man trying to get home to his farm?”The soldier looked extremely skeptical.

“If you’re a farmer, I’m the King of England.” Tovar shrugged.

“Alright, so I’m not a farmer. This rather attractive filly is, however, only paid for for another hour, and I had meant to have my way with her at least twice before my time was up. Surely you can understand my need to make all haste now?”

Nope, not castration. Castration and then you were going to make him watch as you fed his balls to goats.

“Don’t bite me please,” was all the warning you received before Tovar looked down at you, winked, and kissed you, lips surprisingly soft, and incredibly distracting. Maybe the castration could wait for a few hours.

Max Phillips- When the higher ups bring in a handsome new manager to boost sales and productivity you aren’t entirely surprised that every employee gets called one by one into his office for a “chat”. He’s new, it tracks that he’d want to get to know everybody.

You are both anticipating and dreading your own 2:30 appointment with the new boss man, you’re positive that out of all your coworkers your performance has been the most consistently decent since you were hired two years ago, but who knows. This was a new unknown element. His goal might be to shake things up to keep people on their toes.

You hear a ‘come in’ after you knock firmly on his closed door three minutes earlier than your scheduled time, and you find him working at his computer, jacket off, a pout on his lips that were frankly too pretty to be on such a distinctively masculine face, and his shirt sleeves artfully rolled up.

He doesn’t glance at you as he waves at a chair in front of his desk. You sit as instructed, and try as you might, are unable to help staring at him as he finishes whatever it is that requires such attention. You take in the tiny tattoo on his left hand with a little surprise. And you try very hard to ignore the shift and play of the muscles of his forearms under his lightly tanned skin. This is your new boss get a grip, you scold yourself, tearing your gaze away to rest on the shelves behind his head.

He sits back with a sigh and his palms hit his desk.

“I am sorry about that. I honestly hate computers, they’re just so impersonal, don’t you think?” He asks with a winning smile, eyes and attention totally on you now. You return his grin with a small, polite twitch of your own lips and raise your eyebrows questioningly at him.

“Anyways, I just wanted to get to know everybody here, you know? Know the real person behind your employee file! Find out what makes you tick, what gets you excited!” You’re only half paying attention to his spiel, but he garners your full and complete concentration when as he utters the word “excited” and he grins salaciously and winks at you.

You’re a little taken aback. You know you should call HR. At the very least that was thoughtless and at the worst, utterly inappropriate.

You are unfortunately intrigued. You know you won’t be calling anyone about this.

Maxwell Lord- You’d been working for Lord Enterprises for about a year before you were moved up to the top floor. You liked to think you were good at your job, you were a quick typist and resourceful, and you were excited about the bump in pay that accompanied your new position.

After a week of following one of the other girls around and learning the ins and out of the executive offices, you were turned loose and given your own duties and assignments. The very first of those were to take a pile of files from the desk of the most senior of the secretaries and make sure it ended up in the possession of Maxwell Lord himself. You hadn’t heard much about the the big boss one way or another, so you squared your shoulders and after knocking firmly, opened the door and entered his office.

Lord was seated behind a dark wood desk that you thought was probably a bit bigger than strictly necessary. He was in his shirt sleeves, waistcoat stretched over a bit of middle aged spread that he nonetheless wore well. His hair was thick, blond, and immaculately styled, and he was talking animatedly on the phone, gesturing with his free hand and you could see his body vibrating slightly as he bounced his leg up and down quickly.

He was a handsome man, and a lot younger than you had expected him to be. And when he looked up at you as you walked further into his office and smiled brightly at you his attractiveness only increased. His eyes were a deep, dark brown and they shone when two dimples appeared in his cheeks with his grin.

You held up the stack of folders in your hand and raised your eyebrows in a question. He gestured to the desk in front of him and you moved closer to set them gently down in front of the man. You observed him check you out from your hair down to you shoes as you walked closer and were a little surprised when no chauvinistic comment popped out of his mouth. This might have been the 80’s, but you were a secretary and knew that women’s rights only meant that you could earn your own paycheck now.

You nodded at him as you set them down and he mouthed ‘thank you’ as he continued to listen to the droning voice you could now hear over the telephone.

And then he winked at you.

Maybe this job would turn up some opportunities for you after all.

[funky-boat-zone]

the lighthouse chronicles: part 10/10

big birthday bash

how often do sapient vehicles celebrate their birthdays anyway? depending on how they process time, having their birthday/build date celebration every year could get excessive/tiring. 

in one episode, there’s a really loud audio glitch that scared the shit out of me the first time i heard it. the problem is that i can’t remember what episode it was, just that it happened in a scene involving zorran (because of course it did)

top hat’s voice sounds really off fsr

ffs otis, you’re a grown adult. quit being so pouty to the literal child who gave away the surprise by accident.

never thought i’d say this, but i genuinely feel really bad for ten cents here. he’s just a kid who just made a mistake, and what do top hat and otis (adults) do? top hat rats him out to sunshine, and otis acts all passive aggressive towards him. 

and even sunshine gets mad at him and says that they may as well just cancel the party!

“it’s okay, you can throw me a surprise party another time” or you could at least pretend to be surprised and try to enjoy the party because it’s the mature thing to do, otis? 

“what do you want me to do, sink myself?” “not a bad idea” hey sunshine, what the fuck

the other tugs (seemingly) only forgive him because captain star told them to

and so the party happens and all is well except for the fact that no one apologizes to ten cents for being so awful to him over an honest mistake

stop the music

it’s a whole episode of singing. help

and yes, this is the episode where zorran raps

i am going to outlaw the snugboat harbor song fest

grampus sinking into the water and going “blblblblbl” is a mood

zorran no. zorran please don’t do it, i know you’re evil or sth but-

i thought you were better than this, zorran

“do you want to be famous?” “you mean i’m not already?”

unfortunately, this episode is where i got my headcanon that top hat can sing. i sincerely apologize

grampus dismisses top hat’s singing when he’s the only boat who can remotely carry a tune

sunshine’s voice is at its absolute most grating in this scene jfc

“i’ll never be ready for the song fest :(” (triumphant music playing in the bg)

hooray, “work together” or something, no moral is worth a whole episode of singing

let’s wing it

oh no, vegetable puns

zak’s voice is almost as cursed as zip’s

i never want to hear zorran say “mayonnaise” in any context for any reason ever again 

why do the boats know what salad dressing is?

big stack, quit singing

“wish i could help” i appreciate the sentiment izzy, but you are a steam tramper, not a tug, and your dream of helping with the ocean liner can never be 

and so we end on a vegetable pun

no strings attached

another music-themed episode?? oh no

another log jam? 

are tugboats an instrument?

no patrick, tugboats are not an instrument

coast guard boats are not an instrument either

top hat using his horn/whistle to play the first few notes of the theme song implies that he’s aware of the fourth wall

ten cents, don’t bother cappy. he has important coast guard stuff to do

dammit ten cents, you pulled a coast guard vessel away from his job. people could die

love how ten cents talks abt cappy’s whistle and cappy is represented by a completely different boat.

the rhyming brings up memories of miller-era thomas. and that’s not a compliment

the song sounds like sth out of an obscure 16-bit game that’s only remembered for one song and only because that song was used in a meme

guilty gull

how rich are salty’s parents to get him a working, driveable toy car for his birthday?

you know an episode’s gonna be interesting when it starts with zug getting blamed for something he says he didn’t do 

again with the fire barge! i’m banning zip and zug from having any contact with fire barges unless it’s an emergency

do you think billy’s aware that the tugs only really talk to him when they need him for arson?

i think he is, and he’s cool about it. billy, you deserve better. get some friends who see you for more than your skill at arson

f in the chat for zug, the snugboat harbor scapegoat

i know that it’s just tradition to refer to ships as she/her, but in the context of this show it sounds like the stuck tanker is sapient and the tugs are going to destroy her anyway

sl!zug deserves better 2k21

bivalve blues

sunshine’s voice sounds really strained fsr

“wanna hear my new riddle?” “not now. bye” same, ten cents. same

sad boat hours

honestly ten cents has every right to be sad and upset after the events of “big birthday bash”

that’s not why he’s sad though, he’s upset bc he feels unappreciated or sth

a fire?? that escalated quickly, holy shit

love how bluenose is just sitting in the background with no one noticing/acknowledging him as ten cents takes the fuel barge 

also that split second of bluenose twitching/shaking at the end

honestly i’m more interested in whatever the hell’s going on with him 

i’m sad because they had to incorporate and re-dub that emotional ending scene from “munitions”

ten cents gets cheered up, the other tugs appreciate him, sunshine finally tells him her riddle, and bluenose is presumably scarred for life because this the last episode and we never see him again after this.

[angrylizardjacket]

wishful drinking // Charlotte&Lola

Summary: After Charlotte, Peach, and Eileen go missing, everyone else believes they're dead. Everyone but Lola and Tommy. It's difficult to cope and hope at the same time, and sometimes it even reopens old wounds.

A/N: Wow a song fic, christ. Loosely based on Wishful Drinking by Tessa Violet which just gives me so many emotions about Lola. Ido believe this is the single angstiest thing I've ever written on this blog. @misscharlottelee @peachonscreen I'm so very sorry this is so sad and dark jfc. WARNINGS: Focuses on alcohol addiction as a coping mechanism, there is a funeral, acute references to Lola's childhood trauma, a panic attack, and heroin use right at the end there, and there is some very mild implied suicidal ideation

----

separate me from the rest of the herd so I can run away from all of my hurt oh

drink what I want, be what I want, say what you want me to say like I can pretend that I don't wanna end I'm afraid

I'm dangerous

Everyone keeps saying they're dead, but there's no proof so how can they sound so certain?

Lola's already halfway through a bottle of rum, as Charlotte's parents scowl their way through a list of rules that sound more like demands, of what the band is and isn't allowed to do at Charlotte's funeral. For which their is no body. Lola rolls her eyes and takes another drink.

This is the second speech like this that they've had to sit through this week, since Peach and Eileen's parents seemed equally sceptical of the band's ability to behave appropriately at their daughters' funeral. Which was a farce with no bodies. Lola takes another drink and squeezes her eyes shut.

Nikki's got a hand on her thigh, and Tommy's got an arm around her, the three of them squeezed onto a sofa probably built for two.

Nikki was fucked up out of his mind on more drugs than Lola had ever known him to take. Losing Charlotte had broken something inside of him, and when Lola had told him that she and the other girls had gone missing, he'd sworn until his voice was hoarse, crying more genuinely than she'd ever seen him do before. He was terrified of being lucid, of remembering his reality and reacting like that again.

"I wasn't... I was never in love with Charlie, but I really did love her, you know, like I love Tommy; he's like my brother, but she... she was good for us. Better than any of us ever deserved."

Lola takes another drink.

Tommy's lucid and full of rage, two cans of beer and a line of coke before lunch is all he takes now since she's gone, high off anger, demanding people find her, reading maps, triangulating where she could possibly have gotten lost, trying to put together search parties. He, like Lola, won't believe she's gone until he knows for certain, but unlike Lola, he won't take 'her plane disappeared in the mountains of another country, there's nothing we can really do, I'm so sorry' as an answer.

He holds Lola tighter when Charlotte's parents level a teary-eyed glare at him and spit that he's not allowed to start spouting his conspiracy bullshit about her still being alive, at the funeral. He squeezes his eyes shut and turns, pressing his face into Lola's hair and heaving an irritated sigh.

"I know," Lola mumbles back, words spilling into each other. Tommy's breathing is deep and level in a way that's completely controlled, like he's working on subduing his feelings. Nikki gives Lola's thigh a squeeze, but she's not quite sure if he meant to, it could have been a hand twitch. Lola leans against Tommy just a little more, "I know."

She takes another drink.

None of them are allowed to make a speech; Charlotte's mother and Tommy's sister will both be reading eulogies, but if any of the band speaks up, they will be removed from the ceremony.

"What about Razzle?" Vince is the one to speak up, and Lola's breath catches in her throat.

"Nicholas..." Charlotte's mother finally softens her tone, and casts a look to her father, a silent question.

"Nicholas will do his best to prepare an address, but has also told us that he will decide on the day if he will be able to present it," its the fairest thing they've said all day. Their sensitivity to Razzle and his situation keeps Lola from hurling her bottle at them; if they'd shit-talked Charlotte's grieving fiance, she'd have no qualms beating up her missing friend's parents there and then. Instead, all Lola can picture is Razzle, overwhelmingly upset to the point that he can't even bring himself to read a eulogy at his fiance's sham of a funeral.

As much as Lola believes its a sham, she won't push that on Razzle, either way, Charlotte's not here; it hurts like a fresh wound, she can't even begin to imagine how he must be feeling if he really believes she's gone for good.

Lola's bottle is emptying quickly.

"Is Penny okay?" Vince asks, voice soft and concerned for the missing woman's two-year-old daughter.

"She's with Nicholas," Charlotte's mother says, but tears well in her eyes and the words catch in her throat. Charlotte's father puts his arm around her, drawing her in close.

"She keeps asking for Charlotte," his voice cracks, "and... and none of us know what to tell her."

weave a story so I don't have to talk, no, it's not a problem if I never get caught oh

drink what I want, be what I want, say what you want me to say like I can pretend that I don't wanna end I'm afraid

I'm dangerous

Charlotte would either be right furious, or annoyingly understanding, about the fact that Lola is wine drunk and trying to act sober at her funeral. But if Charlotte has a problem with Lola's behaviour at her sham funeral, she should come home and tell Lola herself.

The only people who Lola isn't glowering at are Razzle and Penny. Razzle's in the quietest outfit she's ever seen him in, all black, not a hint of flair or personality, and Penny's been put in a little, frilly black dress, with a black headband which she has thrown on the ground, since she's in the middle of a screaming fit.

Razzle is desperately trying to hold himself together while Penny demands to see her mother at the top of her lungs. Tommy, for all he loathes the pageantry of this funeral, feeling as though it's being put on to make Charlotte's extended friends and family feel less guilty about giving up the search for her, has nothing but kindness and gentle understanding for the man he considered to practically be his brother-in-law.

Kneeling in front of where Razzle's bouncing Penny on his knee, Tommy lays a gentle hand on his other knee, and when Razzle looks to him, as if startled out of focusing entirely on his daughter, there's tears in his eyes. He can't even form words, mouth opening and closing like a fish, but he quickly stills moving Penny, who tries to throw herself on him, her little fists beating his hands insistently, somehow getting louder with her demands.

"I miss mommy! I want mommy!"

Tommy quickly scoops Penny from her father's hands, and Razzle doesn't stop him, just looks on with a painfully helpless expression, like he's not sure what to do with himself now. Tommy chatters away to Penny, hugging her as he takes her to walk around in the sunshine, away from the other guests, and Razzle's lip trembles as his eyes refuse to focus on anything but the beautiful picture of Charlotte her parents chose to display for the event.

Right as he bursts into tears, Lola slides into the seat beside him. No words pass between them, but she wraps him up in a hug, and he holds her tight in response, nails digging into her, apologies babbles almost incoherently, and Lola feels a wave of guilt sweep through her.

The night she'd found out Charlotte had gone missing, she'd gone to Razzle's hotel in tears, full of fury, looking for answers, for anything, knowing only that he and Charlotte had fought right before Charlotte, Peach, and Eileen had taken the spontaneous flight on which they had gone missing. She'd blamed him, at the time, for Charlotte leaving. She'd blamed him, at the time, for Charlotte going missing.

Lola whispers apologies back as best she can in her quietly drunken state, rubbing his back, wishing she'd thought to being her flask; maybe it would have helped ease some of his pain, she knew it definitely would have eased some of hers.

She can't find the words to tell him that she knows its not his fault, not before Tommy comes back right before the ceremony starts, and sits himself on Razzle's other side, Penny quiet in his arms.

When Razzle turns to see his daughter, he sees her reach out with both her arms, asking for a hug. Razzle holds her close, holds her tight, and looks to Tommy with question in his eyes.

"Told her that it was like when you went back to Finland to make music, but a bit longer."

"Momma was sad," Penny's little voice was muffled against Razzle as she refused to let go of her father. Tommy nodded sagely, and Razzle's lip trembled.

"Charlie needed a lot of hugs from Pennylope while you were away; told Penny that you'd need a lot of hugs too, now." Tommy's voice was quiet, his tone gentle like he was still explaining to Penny, and Razzle pulled his daughter back a little, giving her as much of a smile as he could muster.

"You're too good to me, Pennylope; I do need a lot of hugs," and he holds her close again, taking a deep, shake breath, "I'm never gonna let you go."

oh, wishful drinking

tell myself that I'm not thinking bout how I could drown

drown drown drown

wishful drinking

Perhaps part of the reason why Lola can't believe Charlotte's really dead is the fact that Lola had kind of always assumed Charlotte would outlive her. Its morbid, but its not ab inherently false assumption to make, considering Lola drinks probably more spirits than water and gets into fights for fun. Statistically, she should already be dead. So why was she at a funeral for Charlotte.

She finishes her glass of wine and reminds herself firmly that the funeral's a sham.

She can't actually remember how she got to the bar of the hotel that she and Nikki we're staying at in Charlotte and Tommy's home town, but a majority of the people from the funeral were there, to drink and pay their final respects, so Lola assumes one of them had brought her.

She sits at the bar and orders drinks in rapid succession, while Tommy mulls over the same glass of JD for half an hour beside her while chain-smoking and people watching. It feels like they're the only two on the same page, knowing intrinsically that Charlotte's still out there any everyone who refuses to believe that is betraying her.

"Why her?" Lola mumbles into her drink.

"She's not dead, don't you start talking like she is, too," Tommy frowns into his glass. Lola finishes her drink and pushes it out of the way as she rests her arms on the bar, and her head on her arms, looking at Tommy with a strangely blank expression.

"I know, but she's still not here; why any of them? None of them deserve it, deserve to be missing, deserve to have people stop caring about looking for them," Lola's brow creased into the barest frown, "but if people knew that they weren't gone and were just missing, just needed to be found, they'd know they still need the girls," and she gives a forlorn sigh, "they don't deserve this, people still need them."

Behind her, Tommy sees where all of Hanoi Rocks has crowded into a booth with Razzle to keep him company, doing their best to cheer him, to comfort him, each of them taking it in turn to entertain Penny, who was overjoyed at seeing her band-uncles again. The picture looked incomplete without Charlotte.

"Why them?" Lola said softly, sitting back up and ordering another drink, and Tommy hears what she really means this time, the way she implies 'it should have been me'.

go ahead and stop your thinking now

and throw it down

down down down

wishful drinking now

Lola develops a new game over the following weeks, where every time someone mentions Charlotte, she takes a shot. Or four.

Nikki's getting back to normal faster than Lola is, just says that Charlie wouldn't want to see them moping around.

Vince and Mick, still shaken by the loss of Peach and Eileen respectively, agree.

Tommy's still looking for ways to try and find them in his spare time, but focuses on the band so Charlotte will be able to come back and be proud; something about his reasoning makes bile rise in the back of Lola's throat for reasons she can't quite put her finger on.

Lola drinks, because she's come to realise she's useless. She doesn't have the actual band resources to put into helping find the girls, and Doc only keeps her on the payroll because the band won't let him fire her, he doesn't need an assistant.

The only person she would felt safe talking about all of this to was missing.

So Lola drinks.

What else is there to do?

hide your demons where no one can see em, outta sight but in your mind you believe em

drink what you want, be what they want, say what they want you to say like I can pretend that I don't wanna end I'm afraid

I'm dangerous

Lola knows now why Tommy's desperate playing to make sure Charlotte's happy upon her return makes Lola feel sick.

He kept mentioning it, kept asking whether the others thought their new album would be as good as their old stuff, the stuff Charlotte liked, and Nikki had snapped, fed up.

Lola had been in the kitchen when he'd started yelling that she wasn't coming back, and when Tommy hollered that he was an asshole at the top of his lungs.

"If she was alive, she'd be here! But she's fucking not!" Nikki's words rung through the air and were met with stunned silence, "you know why she's not here?" He hissed venomously, and Lola drops the glass she'd been holding, recognising that tone from almost a decade ago.

Nikki, in the present, snaps that its because Charlotte's gone for good, but Lola doesn't hear that. Lola hears her mother.

Lola hears that her father's never coming back because she's a disappointment, because shes not good enough, or kind enough, or talented enough.

The wrong wires connect in Lola's brain in a way that's all too familiar, in a way that makes her scars ache and tears well in her eyes.

And in another moment its gone, and Lola sees the shards on the ground and knows that Charlotte would hate a dirty kitchen. She sweeps them up.

Later, Tommy will find her, and before he can even open his mouth, she's holding his face in her hands, reassuring him that Charlotte would love their new music. His expression brightens, and he kisses her in thanks; something eases in Lola's chest.

No matter where Charlotte is, Lola will never let Tommy believe what was beaten into her for years, she'll never let him believe that he is the reason Charlotte's not here. Nobody deserves to believe that... And yet a voice in the back of Lola's mind tells her she has to do better, for Charlotte.

The voice sounds like her mother's.

do you think do you think that they notice

I keep a bottle by my bed it's the focus

drink what I want, be what I want, say what you want me to say like I can pretend that I don't wanna end I'm afraid

I'm dangerous

After a while, Doc stops praising Lola for showing up to the studio on time and sober - she's absolutely not sober, but she's also not had enough to drink for it to effect her composure. When he stops praising her, she worries that he knows she's always a little buzzed, and then she gets annoyed, thinking that he's just an asshole. It takes her a full week to realise that it's neither, in fact, its just that she's been doing it consistently enough that he's come to expect it of her.

People note her improved work ethic, compliment her even, and its nice, and she knows that if Charlotte were here that she'd be saying nice things right along side everyone else.

Nikki had been right, Charlotte wouldn't want to mope around, so Lola had to actually do well so when Charlotte came back, she could prove that she hadn't been moping.

Sometimes that voice in the back of her mind gets harsh, tells her she's not doing enough, but Lola reminds that voice that Charlotte would roll her eyes at Lola's antics, but she'd somehow always be understanding in the end. Lola didn't need to be perfect, she just needed to be better.

And she was!

She takes a shot to quiet the voice down in those moments anyways, just for good measure.

No-one seems to notice if she's four shots in before noon, one more won't hurt.

this is not a problem if I don't want it to stop

can't call it a problem if I never let a plate drop

this is not a problem if convincing that it's not

don't call it a problem it's the only thing that I still got

Nikki is spiralling into his heroin addiction of his own accord, but Lola knows Charlotte would think they're both better than that; Lola won't be able to convince Nikki, but she can keep herself away from it.

Her job's going well, and she and Tommy are still close, and she is allowed to babysit Penny on nights when Vince takes Razzle out partying. Its trust earned, that she never would have been able to earn if she hadn't been trying to do good for when Charlotte gets back.

But the world goes to hell in a single night.

What the fuck are they meant to tell Penny?

Her dad is dead.

Another thing Charlotte can't come back to.

Turns out they don't have to be the ones to tell Penny; Razzle's parents come to pick up her and their son's body, and though Tommy begs for them not to take her, they're terrified of her ending up just like her parents -

"Charlotte's not dead -"

"Wake up, Thomas, you're putting false hope into this girl's head, it'll ruin her mind if you don't let her live in reality!" Razzle's mother spits, while his father has already taken Penny out to the car to take her to the airport.

Tommy's in tears when he calls Lola.

The pair of them are devastated.

Why would Charlotte come back here if Penny and Razzle weren't here? The only person she'd loved more than Razzle was Penny, and now they were both -

"Lo, what's the point?"

"The point?"

"Of being all good and shit, for Charlie?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's not gonna come back to us," Tommy sighed, sniffling, "she's out there, but she'd go to Penny before any of us, and now..."

"Please don't say that," Lola's voice trembled, her heart beating in an erratic staccato in her chest.

"There's nothing worth coming back here for -"

Lola drops the receiver, curling in on herself, shaking all over as his words play over and over and over in her mind while all she can think about is the fact that yet again, she's not enough for someone she loved and felt safe with.

She's gasping for air, chest tight and tears stinging her eyes, heart beating in her ears while she's shaking like a leaf, in the full throes of a panic attack.

It takes her a long while to calm down, to ground herself in the feel of the carpet beneath her and the sound of the ocean outside, and the cars and the wind and the smell of the sea.

The first thing she does after she stands, is to get a drink, and then another, and then another, then to take the bottle into the bedroom, in to Nikki.

"Babe -?" He sees her red rimmed eyes first as she jostles him awake, and he wants to ask questions.

"I need something to get me out of my fucking mind, please, anything," she begs, lip trembling as she tries to focus on Nikki and not Tommy's words on loop in her mind.

"You sure?"

"Anything, the world is a fucking nightmare, and nothing fucking matters," and Nikki leans over to his nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a kit Lola knew was his heroin kit. Now it didn't seem like a bad choice.

"Is this about Razz?" Nikki asks, making quick work of preparing the drug for her. Lola swallows hard, and sits on the bed.

"Neither of them fucking deserved it," and Nikki knows immediately that she's referring to both Charlotte and Razzle, and he pauses, "the world needs people like them."

The room is very quiet for the few moments where Nikki cooks the powder to a liquid, pulling it up into his syringe. He instructs Lola on how to tie off her arm, and carefully injects her after double checking that its what she wanted.

As the tie around her arm is loosened, and the drug hits, Lola laughs, but there's no humour in it, her head tipping back, bottle still clutched firmly in her other hand.

"Its a fucking joke that the world is stuck with people like me."

[ficforthought]

Dean loves to nuzzle into Jack's neck because he smells like ____________

JFC, anon, you (whether singular or plural) are really pushing my buttons with all the Jack, Belphegor and Alex asks. The bunnies are certainly hopping! *fans self* 😍

I know the title is corny, but hey, the muse gave us two ficlets in the same day, take the win! 😉 Also a bit more schmoopy and domestic than usual, I guess.

Heaven Scent

Jack is making a mountain of a sandwich when Dean walks into the kitchen after he and Sam get back from their hunt. It’s late, the rest of the occupants of the bunker will be fast asleep but Dean knew the kid would still be awake. He smiles to himself, Jack will deny he waited up for them to get home safely, he may not even know that’s what he’s actually doing, but it still makes Dean feel warm inside knowing he’s coming home to someone nowadays.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says quietly from the doorway, his smile growing with the look of delight and relief on Jack’s face when he sees him, “you’re up late.”

Jack blinks at him in that adorable way he has and points the knife in his hand towards the counter, “I was hungry, I’m making sandwiches,” he says, unnecessarily, “do you want me to make one for you and Sam?” His smile dims a little at that and looks over Dean’s shoulders, “Where is Sam, is he OK?”

Dean pushes away from the door frame and walks over to the boy, “He’s fine, just unloading the car,” he assures, running a thumb over the small frown making a crease in the smooth skin of Jack’s forehead, “I doubt he’ll want anything other than a drink, I could eat, though.”

The Nephilim leans into Dean’s touch, resting a hot hand on the hunter’s waist and the older man can feel him almost vibrating with his need to step into his lover’s arms but the new development in their relationship isn’t public knowledge so they have to be careful, “You’re always hungry,” he replies, a fond smile on his face. He throws a quick glance at the door, “for one thing or another!” he adds.

Even though he’s damn near exhausted Dean’s cock stirs a little at that, “Damn right,” he says in a low voice, lifting his own hand to rest on Jack’s pyjama clad hip and then sliding his hand around to squeeze the kid’s ass quickly before the sound of Sam’s footsteps makes him step away. He reaches out to open the fridge and pull out a beer, waving it at his brother, “Want one, Sammy?”

Sam shakes his head, “No thanks, I’m gonna get some water and then sleep for at least a day.”

Jack quickly moves to fill a large glass and hands it over, “There you go, Sam, is that enough?” he asks, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for the man’s approval.

“That’s great, Jack,” Sam replies with a tired smile, “g’night.”

“Night, Sam,” the kid replies, his right hand raising in his trademark wave even though the other man’s already turned away.

When Jack picks up the knife again and moves back to the counter to cut the sandwich in half, Dean takes the opportunity to take a few deep swallows of his beer then presses himself up against the kid. He slides his hands around the slim waist, hooking his chin over the boy’s shoulder to nuzzle into his inviting neck. The shiver and small moan that falls from Jack’s soft pink lips makes the older man smile, the kid is always so sensitive. He lays the knife down and tips his head to one side, giving the hunter more access, trusting him completely.

Dean presses a gentle kiss to the smooth skin, drawing in the addictive scent of the young man as he does. Somehow Jack always smells like a combination of candy floss and sunshine that morphs into something spicy and woody with underlying earthy, musky notes that drive Dean insane with desire. He knows from experience that for now the sweetness is the overriding scent and he breathes in as deeply as he dares, if he allows himself to indulge too much he’ll end up bending Jack over the counter and it’s too risky. He pressing another couple of kisses to the Nephilim’s neck, followed by one behind his ear, then when he can feel the slight tremble in the kid’s body and hear his harsh breathing he buries his nose in the hair at the nape of Jack’s neck where the woody scent is stronger.

“Dean,” Jack says, his voice shaky, “I want you.”

The older man smiles against the soft blond hair under his lips and slides one hand down to cup Jack’s hard dick through his cotton pants. From the damp patch already there he guesses his boy isn’t wearing anything underneath them, “I know you do, sweetheart,” Dean says, his voice low and husky. He allows himself one stroke of the boy’s shaft, earning a gasp in response before he forces himself to let go and step away. The disappointed noise Jack makes goes straight to his cock, twitching to full hardness, now.

Sandwich forgotten, they head quickly and quietly to Jack’s room where Dean wastes no time in getting the kid naked, mapping out creamy, unblemished skin with his hands and mouth until the Nephilim is squirming and begging for more. The older man of course gives his boy exactly what he wants - what they both want - working his fingers then his cock into the perfect heat and tightness of Jack’s hole, kissing and licking into that sinful pink mouth, pulling away only to listen to the soft pleading sounds the boy makes and to kiss his sweaty neck and throat, pulling in the changing scent. It’s salty-sweet and musky now and Dean’s convinced that the kid is giving off some kind of cosmic pheromones because he can practically smell and taste Jack’s approaching orgasm.

The boy clings to Dean’s shoulders, moans getting louder, his slim hips bucking underneath the older man’s rough hands, his long legs wrapping tight around his lover’s waist as Dean fucks into him with harder and faster thrusts as the boy tightens around him, coming with a strangled cry. The extra pressure around his dick, Jack’s torso covered in his own come and the earthy, musky smell of it is what sends Dean over the edge, too.

After his softening cock slips out of Jack’s body he rolls them onto their sides, wrapping his arms tight around the boy, despite them both being hot and sweaty. One arm loops around Jack’s waist and the other rests across his chest, hand loosely wrapped around that long, elegant neck to hold him in place while Dean presses kisses into his sex damp hair at his temple and nape. He breathes in deeply, taking the uniqueness of the Nephilim’s new scent, the one that combines all of his own elements with Dean’s, and their shared sweat and come.

“I was doing some reading,” Jack says, after he’s caught his breath, his angelic healing allowing him to recover quickly..

“Mmm,” Dean replies, “nerd. What did you learn this time?”

Jack shifts in his embrace and Dean loosens his arms so the boy can face him, “The internet says that some people like to eat food off each other.”

Dean frowns, not quite following the kid’s train of thought, exhaustion and afterglow making his brain sluggish, “What about it?”

A sly grin crosses the Nephilim’s face, “I was thinking maybe we could get you a nice warm cherry pie, tomorrow, I know how you love to smell it before you eat it so I figured you might want to, you know...” he trails two fingers down his own chest and Dean’s eyes follow the movement.

A new wave of lust sweps through the older man’s body as his brain catches up to what Jack’s offering. The kid has never complained about the way Dean smells him even though he doesn’t really get why it turns him on, and now here he is, basically bringing the only other hot, sweet scent guaranteed to have Dean’s mouth watering into the equation, “Fuck, yeah,” he groans, imagining the combination of the heavenly scents and flavours of his lover and his favourite food.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

@winkline

[elizabethsharmon]

Every time I read the words Russian Fans here or on Twitter I swear my eye twitches, my heart rate picks up and I feel like screaming. I don't know if I feel bad for them because they were lied to, angry for all the special privilege they had or stupid because there's still a tiny tiny part of me that still believes that there gonna give us something elu related. 🙈🙃😫

ajsjkfdj I think I mostly get angry at all that special privilege of some fans, like I would really like to know how does one get a tour around the set and some locations? Like what did you have to do to get in that inner circle to unlock the access to all the juicy inside info? And in the end it's just really fucking unfair to all the other “regular” fans and it automatically creates the drift between the better more privileged fans and the worse sort of the rest of the fans. Also it was so annoying during s5 and beginning of s6 when those fans who knew everything from their bffs from the crew were policing the rest of the fandom and saying shit like “i can assure you that you know nothing lol” and “it won't be like that so shut up” and yeah it's easier when you know the bigger picture already cause you didn't have to wait for 10 weeks but were told everything from the beginning 🙃 Honestly I don't have any hopes cause the whole s6 showed how much they don't care about elu and the old generation, I think if we might get anything then it might be Eliott posting something on insta for Lucas’ birthday - unless they'll disrespect him one last time and won't even wish him happy birthday 🙂 Also @ russian fans!!! Please finally spill those beans, why are you still hiding it jfc it's obvious we're not getting it, just let us be annoyed and disappointed with you

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

BTS after a breakup

Part 2 of 3

Hyung Line

Part 2 of 3, titled This is Still So Angsty I'm Sorry

Alternate Title: Salty Bois in Their Feelings

Alternate Title 2: The Mystery of Why Any Bitch Would Break Up With J-Hope Continues

Warnings: alcohol, angst

Word Count: 3,160

Namjoon (RM)

After a month, Namjoon felt a little better

He missed you like crazy and continued to send you texts every week, but the subject matter brightened a little

He limits himself to only looking at your social media once a day, but other than a couple selfies, you have never posted much so it's a moot point except he gets to see your pretty face

He will be completely silent about the situation won't say shit about you and the boys will avoid saying your name because of the look on your face when he hears it

He drinks too much wine at dinner but he's still on top of everything

Won't ever text you unless it's that one day a week, and he spills out everything

He thinks he's doing better he's proud about his progress

Until he is cleaning the bedroom and he finds a book you were reading under the bed

It's dog-eared in the place where you'll never finish it

Bc you left it here just like you left him

He has a mini breakdown over it but manages to try and get some work done

As soon as he opens his internet browser, he knows it's just gonna be a shit day

He sees his name in the headlines

"Rap Monster Kim Namjoon's Ex and Her New Man?"

He doesn't wanna know, but he can't stop himself from clicking on it

He knows the blurry picture is you because he'd know you anywhere

It isn't as if you're all over the guy or anything, but there's a close up of you holding hands and Namjoon feels like he's been punched in the throat

The thing that really gets him though

Is that he's an idol, too

A leader, even, and Namjoon can't help feeling replaced

The reason you left, the whole issue was because he didn't have time for you but you're moving on with another idol?

It made him think it was him, not the time, that you just didn't want him

Jin calls right away to check on him

"You know how the media is, Joon. It doesn't mean anything."

He's right, of course, but when Namjoon lies down to try and sleep, the image of your hand clasped with that guy's haunts him

He texts you just one sentence that week

"I hope he makes you happy."

You call him and Namjoon is so shook he almost drops his phone

"Y/n?"

"I just want you to know that it isn't what you think."

"I guess it isn't my business anymore." He says, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice

"I don't want you thinking..."

"What? That it wasn't the lifestyle you couldn't handle? That you just didn't want me?" He can't help the angry tears that spring to his eyes

"I never wanted anything as much as I wanted you, Joonie."

He doesn't miss that you're using the past tense.

"I mean it, you know. I hope he makes you happy." He does mean it. He always wants you to be happy

"He's just my friend, Joonie. I would never-"

He closes his eyes against the tears burning behind his lids. He doesn't want to hear you lie to him to protect his feelings

"Yeah, ok. He's a big guy, he can protect you from the paparazzi at least."

There was plenty of photos of that, too, of Hyunwoo with one big arm around you, shielding you from the cameras

"Joon, don't-"

"I miss you," he cuts you off

"I miss you, too."

Neither of you hang up for a long time, just longing for everything to go back to the way it was

Jin

Jin is absolutely not handling this well

He talks about you constantly, asking everyone for advice and boys get so tired of hearing your name jfc

Skips dance practice every other time to move around the house

Flips through your social media pics together several times a day and gets real emo

He's got a new phone and he makes your picture his lockscreen

Cannot stop drinking wine and reading articles with theories about you and your new boo

Gets tipsy and talks shit about Changkyun in troll accounts on YouTube he's that petty

Reads too many articles about Changkyun being a huge flirt and fuckboi and gets way too drunk because it makes him imagine how he is seducing you

Always on your social media acting like he doesn't give a fuck (he gives many fucks)

Likes your pictures of yourself out with Changkyun, comments 👍

Slides in your dms when he sees you're active even though he knows you'll ignore him

Won't say boo to the media just shrugs them off

Jin knows you're staying at your sister's

Everyday he tells himself not to go over there

Not to embarrass himself

But since he's gotten a new phone he can tell himself that's why you're not calling

He sits at the coffee shop by her house every morning, hoping to get a glimpse of you

When he does, of course you're with that idiot

Jin wants the ground to open up and swallow him

Luckily he's wearing a ball cap and face mask

He can hear your voice

"Thank you for being here for me through all this."

Jin watches Changkyun take your hand and he has a fantasy of breaking his fingers one by one

"Jin is an idiot for letting someone like you go, y/n."

Oh boy

So much for not embarrassing himself

Jin rips off his face mask and stalks over to the two of you

"I never let her go. You took her!" He growled, and you stand up and push him out the door to talk

Changkyun peeps his head out to ask if you're ok and it takes every bit of Jin's will not to lunge at him

"Oh will you fuck off?"

He does, and you're looking at him with your chin jutted out and he knows you're mad but he wants to kiss you so badly

"Jin, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Having coffee. Alone. Since my girlfriend left me for some kid. How about you?"

He can't help the bitterness of his words

"Well, I'm having coffee with a friend because my boyfriend fucked someone else on tour."

"Y/n, I did NOT fuck her, or anyone else for that matter."

You scoffed. "Save it, Jin. You all but told me when you were drunk dialing me last week."

"I was shitfaced! Hello! What about that picture you sent me that made me destroy my new phone?"

You shrug. "Maybe I was trying to have some fun."

Jin tugged at his hair as if he wanted to pull it out. "Fun. Fun, you say. I'm going crazy here and you're out having fun."

"Whatever. You're single now, do what you want. I am." You know you're being petty but you don't believe him, after all the pictures, all the articles, the way he had almost apologized for it

You turn to go and he grabs your wrist, pulling you to him, looking fiercely down into your eyes

"This is just a fight we're having, Jagi, yeah? It's just a fight just like the time you went to lunch with your high school boyfriend and i was an idiot and you spent a week with your parents?"

He sounds so uncertain, voice shaky, and you just want to stop this and let him hold you

"You're not really fucking him, are you?"

You pull out of his arms, annoyed

It's not like he actually cares

His pride is hurt, fragile male ego, while you're heartbroken

"It's not cheating. I'm single now, I can do what I want."

"Don't play with me, sweetheart," he warns, eyes flashing

"Or what, Mr. Worldwide Handsome? You'll fuck some idiot girl? Too late. I'm not worried about it. I'm not even thinking about it."

"Of course you aren't, you don't think of me at all, do you?"

He's angry again and you know you're being cruel but you're hurt and angry and you can't help it

"You're right. You think I imagine it's your hands on me instead of his? I don't. He's so good I never think of you." You spit out the words like venom and Jin reacts as if it were, flinching, hurt evident on his handsome face

You leave him there, standing shellshocked on the sidewalk

Yoongi (Suga)

Yoongi feels better after a good night's rest that he finally gets the next night after Hobi makes him take an Ambien

Hobi is legitimately the only human on Earth that knows, Yoongi is confident you'll be back so he swears him to secrecy

Absolutely nothing changes on his social media just work stuff as usual you've changed your relationship status to single and that stings but he won't change his

Over the two years you'd been together of course you'd had spats

You had a flair for the dramatic, it was one of the things he loved you for

He was the quiet one and you were the social butterfly, outgoing and sweet, making up for what he lacked

You were right, after all, he had been distant, with the comeback album coming out in a month

He'd been neglecting you and you just needed some attention and for him to spoil you a bit

He sent two dozen pink roses to your best friend's house with a note reading "You know I love you, brat, so come back home, yeah?"

When you don't call him in 24 hours though, he gets worried

To get his mind off things he goes out for a few beers with Namjoon and Hobi

Afterward he finds himself walking to your best friend's house

He's surprised when you are the one answering the door

You're in a bathrobe with your hair in a messy bun like you do when you're applying makeup to go out

"I'm not ready yet, Chanyeol-" you say without looking and when you see Yoongi your breath catches in your throat

His eyes are puffy as if he's been crying or not sleeping, bleached hair messy

You look so beautiful that Yoongi wants to grab you and kiss you but your words are making doubt claw in his stomach

"Expecting someone else?"

He pushes past you before you can think and when he sees the bouquet of roses on the counter he thumbs one of the petals

You eye him warily

"Yoongi, are you drunk?"

"A little," he admits easily, looking you up and down. "I've been feeling pretty shitty since my girl walked out on me."

"Maybe you should've treated her better, then." You snap back

The corner of his mouth twitches. He loves it when you're sassy, but he feels uncertainty and jealousy rising in his chest

"Did you find someone to treat you better already, princess?" His voice is low, eyes flashing almost dangerously

It's kind of hot, really

But you're in shock at his accusation

"Wh.. what?"

"Chanyeol, was it? You must've met him while I was on tour. That's why you walked out over something so stupid, huh? Just an excuse." He reaches out to pluck another petal from the rose, and although his voice sounds eerily calm you can see his hand shaking

All of a sudden you're livid. After ignoring you for two weeks and calling you a brat via roses, he's really calling your concerns stupid and accusing you of cheating

"Get out." You say, voice shaking

He smirks at you bitterly. "Time for loverboy to show up? Aw, I wanted to stick around to see what the guy who's fucking my girl looks like."

His crude words pierce through you but before you can respond Chanyeol walks through the door unannounced.

"Hey, y/n, you ready?" He looks from you to Yoongi, bewildered

He takes a few steps toward you and then stops

Yoongi looks him over and then sets his jaw as if thinking for a moment

Then he lunges at the taller man, punching him square in the nose

You scream and try and yank Yoongi off of your best friend's live in boyfriend

He's already stopped, breathing hard

You go to Chanyeol who is gasping on the floor, blood all over the shirt he was wearing to take you and your bestie out since you were feeling sad

Yoongi looks down at you, looking miserable instead of angry

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Get out!" You scream, angry tears streaking down your face

Yoongi nods, and he goes, but not before he grabs the vase of roses with one hand and hurls it against the wall, glass shattering everywhere, making you scream out in surprise

He stomps out the door, stepping over Chanyeol as if he weren't there at all

Hoseok (J-Hope)

Deals with it in the healthiest manner of all the boys even though he legit has no idea why you left

Lets himself be sad, doesn't drink too much, just maybe overworks himself a little

Social media isn't an issue since you've never posted anything but memes and an occasional silly selfie

He goes through all the pictures in his phone though and gets emo

Gives you space

Hobi gives you a few days before he tries to reach you again

He could sense that you needed some time

He was hoping that was all you needed and then you would come home and explain things

You'd always been wary of expressing your negative feelings, knowing that Hoseok was such a positive person

You always said you didn't want to bring him down or stress him out

He wishes you had talked to him more

Wishes you had known that whatever was happening, he'd be by your side to work things out

When he calls, some guy answers, and it's not your brother's voice so he's shocked for a moment

The guy says hello a couple of times before he responds

"Um, is this y/n's phone?"

That was a stupid question since he was the one who paid your phone bill, but he was shook

"Yes. She's lying down because she isn't feeling so well. Can I take a message?"

Hobi doesn't miss that you must have deleted his contact name and that stings

"Just tell her Hoseok called?"

"Sure, man."

He hangs up and drums his hands on his knees, full of anxious energy

He's trying real hard not to jump to any conclusions

He's trying to be grateful that you have someone looking out for you, but he's internally screaming

Thankfully you call him back within the hour, before he can lose his mind completely

Tears spring to his eyes the second he hears your voice saying his name

"Sunshine!" He exclaims.

You can't help but smile at his nickname for you, even though you felt a lot darker than sunshine lately

"Hey, Hobi."

"Sunshine, what's going on? Where are you?" His voice sounds thick like he's about to cry and you hate it

"Don't worry about me. I'm just fine. I'm being well taken care of."

He's very quiet, and that's so unusual for him that you feel like you need to explain

"Jackson answered the phone for me. You know, my buddy from college?"

"Buddy" was an interesting term for an old college boyfriend, but Hobi was so grateful to talk to you he didn't complain

He'd met him, anyway, several times, and you were sure it would be awkward since you and Jackson had broken up a literal week before you met Hoseok

But Hobi was so sweet and not even remotely the jealous type and they'd actually gone out for beer and chicken a few times without you before BTS started the world tour

They were both rappers of course so you were sure they'd have plenty to talk about (they talked about you, mostly)

You knew hearing that it was Jackson would put his mind at ease

It did not

As much as Hobi did like Jackson he could see the way he looked at you with longing in his eyes

But it didn't matter because you were finally talking to him

"Sunshine, why did you leave me?"

"Oh, it's a long story. I just needed to get away for a while."

"I could've gone with you. It looks like you've moved out though, babe, I just wish you'd talk to me. When are you coming home?"

The silence on the line makes him feel a thousand miles away from you

"I...I don't know if I am."

His voice was choked with tears when he spoke again

"But...but why not? What did I do?"

"Nothing! Nothing, baby, you're perfect. It's me. It's all me. I can't...I can't be what you want anymore."

"You're everything I want. You're my sunshine, you know that."

You sigh

"That's just it. I can't be your sunshine anymore. I just have to be me for a while."

"Do you think I've been putting too much pressure on you? I know I talked about flying you out on tour but I just missed you so much-"

"I think I just need to move on, Hoseok."

You using his first name, not baby, not Hobi, was a bit shocking

"Move on? What does that mean?"

He hears a racket in the background

"I gotta go, babe. I'll call you next week, okay?"

"Next week? Sunshine, wait-"

You had already hung up

Hobi burst into Jin's apartment without announcing himself, knowing he left the door unlocked when he was home

Jin stopped mid bite of ramen

"Hyung, I need to talk to you."

Jin sat down his chopsticks carefully. "You hungry?"

After he all but forced Hobi to eat a little ramen, Jin asked, "Is it about y/n?

"Yes," Hobi said, squirming in his chair

"She won't me what's wrong, only that she needs time and needs to move on."

Jin, bad at hiding his facial expressions, winced

Hobi's heart sank

"What is it?"

"I don't know, bubs, but the only times I've ever heard that from a girl it's been bad news."

"How bad?"

Jin winced again. "Look, Hobi, I really don't know. Y/n has been going through some stuff lately..."

"She has? You've talked to her?"

"She called me a couple of times crying while we were on tour."

"What?! Crying? You didn't tell me?" He's all but yelling

"She begged me not to! She didn't tell me much, just that she had been in a bad place and she didn't want to worry you. I thought I talked her down, but maybe something is going on we don't know about."

Hobi started to cry and Jin hugged his friend

"I just don't know why she felt like she couldn't tell me, hyung."

Jin didn't have any answers for him, could only rub his back and hope you came clean soon

[vrenaewrites]

HUSH HUSH by Becca Fitzpatrick thoughts: Prologue - Ch 11

Full video here.

We start right away with a bible verse which, if you’ve read any of my books, you know I’m a big fan of

We have a prologue from 1565 France…

The visual of a person perched on a gravestone and mistaking them for an angel statue at first is cool tbh

“Who are you?” “One of the devil’s brood”

The mind control parts of this I like, and I already have a feeling this is the gonna be the best part of this book

Except we don’t get another example of someone fighting it the way he is fighting it - nora doesn’t even realize it’s happening when it happens to her which isn’t as fun

The guy being maniped is a duke and the angel tells him no you’re half fallen angel so do what i tell you (nephilim)

This angel doesn’t have wings but a big cut in the shape of a V on his back

CHAPTER 1

The image of a barbie and ken taped to the chalkboard of the sex ed class is great

Her best friend’s name is V!

“Camera phones to take photos for the school E-zine”

Oh shit she’s a hoe

“V as in virgin” never mind

“It may not have occurred to you kids that sex is more than a 15 minute trip to the backseat of a car” lmaoooooooo

Is this book gonna be good? Did yall lie to me??

The school e-zine

V is a “few pounds over curvy” damn

V is my “untwin” i love that

“I’m all legs like a barstool”

The sex ed teacher is making them all sit by new people...in april…

She knows everyone except the transfer who of course is her new seat mate...this is a very convoluted way to get them to sit together

“It was a smile that spelled trouble with a promise”

“Human reproduction can be a sticky subject” LMAO

“Call me patch. I mean it. Call me.” and he winks

He takes pictures “of an ezine columnist who…” and describes a bunch of stuff about her and she’s like what the fuuuuuuck

And then he is like “you’re scared of what you can’t control”

He knows she plays the cello

She doesn’t wanna ask for another partner because she doesn’t wanna let him win and i’m like NORA CALL THE FUCKING COPS!!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY HAS BEEN STALKING YOU?!?!?!?

She has a cut on her wrist, her dad was murdered

At the end of class he gives her his number so she can get her answers - she no longer has it by chapter 18 but doesn’t remind the reader that she did have it written on her hand so we just think becca forgot nora already got his # for a bit

She’s a sophomore, he’s a senior

He has black eyes and wears all black because ofc

CHAPTER 2

They get a lot of fog and don’t have many neighbors

Mom is an auction coordinator so she’s not around a lot so there’s a german housekeeper that watches over her

But she leaves her alone at night...i already KNOW patch is gonna be “Watching over her” ala edward watching bella sleep i just KNOW

She’s thinking that patch seemed closed off but she liked what she had seen - aka his bod

“Smile that was part playful, part seductive” NOTHING about the interaction y’all had sounded seductive!!!!!! This is exactly like in crave when she’s getting horny that jaxon is yelling at her...like these men seem UNHINGED. Why is that sexy????

“Biology was my toughest subject, i teetered between an A and a B” i’m gonna punch you. I know you wanna go to ivy league so this matters but…

She calls patch!!!!

She asks if he wants to meet up to finish the assignment...you couldn’t...ask...over the phone??

“Nora” he says my name like it’s the punchline to a joke

He hangs up on her because he’s playing pool

She starts her assignment anyway: “jerk” “smokes cigars, will die of lung cancer, hopefully very soon” i laughed v hard tbh

“Excellent physical shape” and then crosses that out lmaooooooo

She flips a coin and it makes her decision: go to the arcade and confront patch

The cashier is pissed that she didn’t pay to get in so she sneaks by

“I was like a rolling snowball gaining speed and momentum” weird out of place metaphor but ok

Patch says she’s with him and the cashier lets her go

His black eyes are magnets clinging to her every move

She feels something different here, more animosity, more electricity...more horniness

“Queasy tap dance in my stomach”

Something about patch wasn’t right, something about him wasn’t normal, something about him wasn’t safe

“Biggest dream” “to kiss you” she doesn’t buy it so like good for her but still blech

Patch says he’s never been to school before and nora’s like you’re a liar

And he says he came because of her

He says “those cold pale grey eyes” are surprisingly irresistible

There are almost zero connections between what she’s saying and what he’s saying, as if he’s having a conversation with himself...it’s really hard to follow

“And that killer curvy mouth” ew

“You seem to know a lot about me,” i said, making the understatement of the year.

“Say provoke again, your mouth looks provocative when you do”

Her jaw twitches when she lies

He has a birthmark in the same place she has a scar...soulmate shit fer shure

She says after her dad died a strange presence felt like it was “orbiting her world, watching her from a distance” like...a guardian angel perhaps

She feels someone in the house with her and i’m calling it now: patch is “Watching over” her

CHAPTER 3

She’s trying to come up with reasons for patch not to be her partner anymore...he fucking ADMITTED TO TAKING PHOTOS OF YOU AND STUDYING YOU AND BASICALLY STALKING YOU. IF THE COACH WON’T LISTEN GO TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s anemic and has to take iron multiple times...a day??

“What qualities are you attracted to in a potential mate?” asks the teacher

She’s not ready so patch answers, “intelligent, attractive, vulnerable”

“How do you indicate if a female is interested?” and patch says, “if she’s biting her lip and playing with her hair the way nora is doing right now” lmao

“She’s game”

He puts his arm on the back of her chair and mouths “vulnerable” and while i would literally call the cops on a man for this, it was kind of hot in context

She tells coach she feels uncomfortable sitting by patch and he’s like, “not only are you gonna keep sitting by him i actually need you to tutor him.”

Fire this fucking guy IMMEDIATELY.

How lazy is this writing becca. How lazy. You couldn’t think of any other ways to make them spend more time together??

She and V go to the movies to write a review for the e-zine and v says: “can you imagine living your whole life without a clue that the only reason you’re being kept alive is to be used as a sacrifice?”

Do you smell that? The foreshadowing

V says patch’s dark side calls to her and nora is thinking, yeah no shit.

There was a dark magnetism, i felt lured to the edge of danger, at any moment it felt like he could push me over the edge.

Edge twice in the same sentence, crave’s editor has been in the game since 2009 apparently

V’s basically like nora you’re not attracted to anyone and nora’s like i haven’t found love and v’s like it’s about fun not love dumbdum

V says Patch would probably be “really good”

Nora says patch isn’t good for v and v says, “Careful, you’ll only make me want him more” and i’m like...i know this book came out when i was a freshman but somehow, becca fitzpatrick managed to put me from sophomore year in this book lmao

Marcy a cheerleader with “half a bottle of foundation on” and “¾ of an inch between her skirt and underwear, if she was wearing any” sits beside them

Yikes

She calls V supersize: YIKES

Marcy’s being a dick to V and V just goes, “you have food stuck in your teeth, chocolate ex-lax maybe?” i love this so much

Patch is at the library…

V’s like “i’m trying to read the title he’s checking out...how to be a stalker?” lmao i love V

V thinks patch is following nora but she’s kind of into it lmaoooo

Nora’s like he’s alluring but also fucking scary

She hits someone during a storm on the way home

He’s wearing a ski mask?!??!?!?!?

The car died oh my gooooooood

He’s tearing the door off??!?!?!!?

He punches through the window!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 4

She’s like totally freaking out but doesn’t wanna tell V that a dude almost tore the door off the car

She goes to V’s to avoid being alone

When she and v examine the damage...there is none…

She realizes the eyes behind the ski mask were black like patch’s eyes

She can’t remember hardly anything about the crash which is freaking her out

They meet some dudes called elliot and jules who is SIX FOOT TEN

They are probably other fallen angels that are after nora, and then elliott says he just transferred to their school from the prep school as of today, so yeah, this is what’s happening

Also...it’s fucking april. Who transfers schools in april

“You smell good” “it’s called a shower” lol

They’re having like an “are you following me” talk during the quiz

“I wanted my life to go back to the way it was before patch barged into my life”

I truly don’t know if it’s the delivery of the audiobook narrators that is making this issue SO GLARING to me but jfc

She confronts him after class to talk patch into asking to switch seats but he’s like “nah you’ve grown on me”

V really wants to sleuth around and read Patch’s file

CHAPTER 5

they go to the nurse’s office using nora’s iron pills as a distraction to get into the files in the front office

Nora needs to register her iron pills with the nurse...it is april...she has been taking pills out of her backpack all year...no one cared???

She says this is all because she thinks patch is stalking her - which no shit he admitted to taking pictures of you…

V called in a bomb threat from the pay phone outside!!!!!!! I’m fucking crying

Also if you guys don’t know what pay phones are, let me know

She’s trying to punch through the window in the door!!!!! V is the fucking greatest

IT WAS UNLOCKED ANYWAAAAAAY I’M SCREAMING

“As patch’s biology partner, i had a right to know”

The principal caught her but doesn’t suspect her

She meets back up with v at a mexican restaurant

The one patch works at!!!!!!

He asks her what she’s doing sunday night

“You’re getting cocky. I like that, angel” - bleck

“Not on a date, not alone” a hot thrill upon speculating what a night alone with patch would entail

Bitch!!!!!!! You just committed a crime to find out if this dude is STALKING YOU but you still wanna fuck him???????????

“Did you just call me angel? I don’t like it.” “it stays, angel” negging asshole

He brushes his thumb on her mouth and says “you’d look better without lipgloss” HARDIN SCOTT HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

“Interested? We’re talking about you, i’m fascinated.”

“You aren’t ready to know me”

I looked in your student file - BITCH. NORA. IF HE IS STALKING YOU. AND YOU FOUND OUT SOMETHING SERIOUS IN HIS FILE. THAT GIVES HIM SOOOOOO MUCH CAUSE TO LIKE...MURDER YOU?!

It’s totally empty. “I’m going to expose you” “i look forward to it”

“Why are you looking at me?” “because you’re nothing like what i expected” “neither are you, you’re worse”

CHAPTER 6

Elliott is in her gym class

The fog seemed to clog my lungs...fog and clog...don’t like it

Marcy miller… “that’s because you haven’t met anyone better, like me.” marcy twisted her hair around her finger. “You’ll hear all about me soon.”

He calls her gray, her last name, which is a trope i thoroughly enjoy

We describe marcy’s smile as toxic twice in 2 paragraphs

Elliott comes up behind her to help her with her batting stance

“Let me show you, like this, you feel that? Relax” EXCUSE ME

She hears her name in her mind said in someone else’s voice, it’s patch

“Batting lessons, nice touch” elliott is TOTALLY a rival angel guy

“I told myself i imagined the words because the alternative was considering that patch held the power to channel thoughts into my mind. Which couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.” this type of stuff makes me roll my eyes.

“Not yet” she hears in her mind, and ends up slamming it out of the park

She gets smashed in the head with the glove and ball, ouch

Elliott blows on her scraped kneeeeeeeee

“Had he talked directly to my thoughts? Was there some inexplicable link between us that allowed it happen? Or was i losing my mind?” meh

Elliott “i’m not gonna chase after an unavailable girl”

He invites her on a date

CHAPTER 7

There’s a convo with the housekeeper about “reinventing the sexy side” and not changing yourself for a boy…

V calls and is like “let’s go to the party on the coast”

Driving moccasins?

Damn V is like “you look like a boy, put some lipstick on”

And Nora isn’t wearing makeup because patch planted the idea in her mind - NEGGING!!!!!!!

The delphic coast sounds like a blast

The new ride is called the arcangel lmao

Patch is at the arcade omg

Jules looks as enthusiastic as three day old meatloaf - this is a very weird metaphor but i don’t mind it much?? It would have bothered me in crave but there haven’t been many in this book so far so it’s not like completely pulling me out of the moment

It’s a new day, and today, the name patch is really irking me. It sounds like a dog

V is STIRRING THE POT between Elliott and Patch god i love her soooo much

Elliott wants to talk to patch about leaving nora alone!!!!

V is a messy bitch who lives for dramaaaaaaaa

Nora goes to talk to patch so elliott won’t start shit

“He was tall and lean and hard and i was sure he had street fight scars under his clothes...not that i wanted to look under his clothes” LMAO

She asks what he’s playing and he says, “baseball, wanna stand behind me and give me a few pointers?” LMAOOOOO he hates elliott so muuuuch

Patch challenges her to a pool game, she punches his arm, he says “Careful they might think we’re flirting” this guy is MADDENING

“Part of me wanted to run away from him screaming fire, the other wanted to see how close i could get without...combusting” AHHHHHHH

He’s talking to her in her thoughts and then being like, “you know that sounds crazy don’t you?” GASLIGHT CENTRAL

“You scare me, and you’re not good for me” “i could change your mind”

“Meet me at the arcangel, i’ll be waiting”

CHAPTER 8

Nora goes to get cotton candy and sees the arcangel, and she goes

She gets the “cold heart-stopping feeling that someone is watching her” and spots a hooded figure

She runs into patch and he’s like “if you keep running away from me, you’re never gonna figure out what’s going on” and she’s been drinking dumb bitch juice so she’s like OHKAY.

Now she’s not scared of the arcangel because patch makes her feel safe...no he DOESN’T?!?!?!?!?

“If you ride without screaming, i’ll get coach to switch our seats” why do i feel like this is gonna be that scene in the movie fear where they hook up at the top of the ferris wheel

“I don’t scream, not for carnival rides.” not for you is her inner voice i assume and ommggggg

He sits in a car that shows demons ripping the wings off an angel, an angel sitting on a gravestone and watching children, then possessing a little girl

Okay foreshadowing

“Scared, angel?”

Our car flew demonically fast - we get it

Her seatbelt came undone and she fell out!!!!!!!

Oh wait...she didn’t? She ended up grabbing him and screaming??

CHAPTER 9

He offers her a drink from his soda can and she’s like “ooh my mouth where his mouth is”

Her phone is dead so she hitches a ride with patch...did he kill her phone with angel powers somehow??

V had left her!!!!?????

Ooh or did the boys kidnap her??

So she’s sure the mind-talking is real but not sure if the guy in the mask or the falling off the coaster is real…

Patch rides a motorcycle because ofc

He takes her home and then has her keys in his hand somehow

He is totally fucking with her, the key won’t turn if she uses it but he can get it to work

“Go ahead, i’m home alone” immediately i realized it wasn’t a smart thing to say

Self preservation has left the chat!!!!!!!! The same boy you thought was stalking you 3 days ago, you just told him you are home alone...dumb bitch juice

“Dorothea will be here soon. She’s old but strong, very strong” You would absolutely be the first to die in a horror movie, nora

He comes inside without her inviting him so he can make her tacos

He...knows where her kitchen is...fuck no

She is scared of him having a knife but also...goes over to him so he can show her how to make tacos…

So idk if most teens are so horny they’re literally willing to die for it, because i was on antidepressants when i was grace’s age and i had no desire to get busy...please let me know in the comments below if you ever went from scared of a dude to wanting to bone him at breakneck speed the way nora continually does in this book

“I’ll answer your questions if you make tacos”

This is a VERY horny scene where he stands right behind her and like whispers in her ear how to cut the tomato…

“Did you follow me to the library?” he smiles and she’s like OH FUCK I WANNA KISS HIM RIGHT NOW

NORA!!!!!!!!! FOCUS

“Scared?” “no” “maybe i’m just scared of -” “liking me?” “yes...wait no”

“I feel a scary attraction to you”

He lifted her onto the counter!!!!!

“You should go” “go here?” his mouth went to my shoulder “or here?” it moved up my neck AHHHHHHHHHHH

Her mom calls and she’s like “can i call you back?” her mom says “sure what’s wrong” and she HANGS UP LMAOOOOOOO

UMMMM THOUGHT HER PHONE WAS DEAD?!?!?!?

CHAPTER 10

V calls her and is like “i was looking for you all night” and nora is like “ummmm no you fucking left me???” and v’s like “DID Y’ALL KISS?!”

“I’ll pick you up at 4” “thought we were meeting at 5?” “circumstances have changed” lmao V for president tbh

We get a weird story about lionel dorothea’s godson daring nora to lick a broken piece of glass, “falling for patch would be like licking that shard”

This is the WEIRDEST analogy i think i have ever heard…

This is a first draft analogy for sure

She acknowledged that her phone had been dead so wtf happened

They go to victoria’s secret and she’s like “ooh sexy stuff ooh patch” wait i shouldn’t be thinking about dangerous patch

“I secretly enjoyed the attraction between us but the eeriness outweighed it” ma’am are you trying to lie to yourself or the reader because 1. It’s not a secret, 2. We (i) keep SCREAMING at you to have a shred of self-preservation but you threw it away for tacos

I’m going to flush patch out of my system like a detox diet, except last time i did that i binged” welp...i’m sure that’s not a sign…

Lmao V tries to take the clearance stickers off the clearance bras and puts them on the nice ones I LOVE HER SO MUCH

The hooded guy is watching her from outside…

But he’s gone before V sees him

V develops a diversion to get the hooded guy to follow her...but they can tell it’s actually a girl…

V gets hurt?!?!?!?!

CHAPTER 11

V is in the hospital with a BROKEN ARM THAT NEEDS SURGERY!!!!!

Patch is absent…

She goes to the new school psych...WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NEW PEOPLE COMING IN APRIL!!!!

She’s def also an angel

She brings up that nora is supposed to be tutoring patch and is like “all tutoring should be under adult supervision, and i don’t want you meeting alone” um...thank you for being reasonable because this dude is creepy but ALSO. Just...don’t have her tutor him…?

She goes to the computer lab in the library to look up reviews but then she’s like “i should google patch” but nothing

“No facebook, no myspace” OH MYSPACE!!!!!

She comes across a kinghorn prep article about a hanging, and finds out elliott was with the victim on the night of her death

Elliott is right behind her!!!!!

“Something cold flushed through me, like a blush, only opposite”

He’s like “Call your mom and tell her you’re taking too long at homework” and she’s like STRANGER DANGER

~~~

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL