#john and millie

[spnwin-reader]

All hail the prickliest of all: Millie Winchester

Much like a more seasoned Dean, Millie carries the scars of abandonment—and she doesn’t hide it, making it clear from the very start.

JOHN: Love what you've done with the place. MILLIE'S FIRST WORDS: My husband and son walked out on me, so. This is the best I could do.

John swallows, unsure if he’ll get affection or a reprimand. She breaks into a smile.

MILLIE: "Dammit. Welcome home, kiddo!"

I think it was one of my moots (maybe @minalblood?) who pointed out that it becomes more obvious on a second watch that Millie is a hot-and-cold, passive-aggressive figure. Her heart is full of sincere love, but it's been through the wringer, so it's guarded.

While the audience knows Henry did everything to protect them and was true and loyal (there was nothing between Henry and his coworker Josie Sands, for example), the characters don’t.

This mirrors how Castiel’s protectiveness is often more apparent to the audience than to Dean—or even Sam.

Note: Much like Dean calls Jack “kid” and “kiddo,” Millie does the same with John.

//

Dean's parallel wound?

Dean, as the cosmic narrator, might be grappling with this too.

His family is mostly accounted for—mom and dad both in heaven, Sam on earth, and he himself left off chatting with Bobby—but what’s missing? Jack and Cas are “somewhere” doing “something.” (Working?)

(1) His son’s attention. The Jack as he knew him left. (It’s unclear if he’s found that in this mini-God version of him by the end of this series). But anyway, from a high level, Jack’s run off to find meaning in the cosmos, to do work for a much larger Heavenly Cause than Dean himself is a part of.

(2) And then there’s Castiel, that aching ABSENCE in the narrative—just as Henry is for Millie. Dean was sundered from Cas without a chance to say goodbye. We will learn that Millie too had a fight with her spouse, and while they always said "I love you" no matter how bad things were, in that fateful last moment... she didn't.

//

Millie's garage kitchen

And here it is—our first kitchen, yay! Millie’s Garage Kitchen. It’s almost bunker-like, isn’t it?

Despite the tension and the brokenness between them, John still helps himself to Millie’s garage kitchenette. What an adorable brat!

He helps himself to a beer, like I AM AN ADULT NOW, MAMA!

JOHN (teehee): "What? I'm legal now!"

(Also, a shoutout to the “family-coded” picnic table and the beautiful shot with the garage fan, symbolizing movement, forward motion, and the search for purpose/meaning through work.)

*Snatches beer*

"Not today, idiot-who-illegally-joined-the-Marines-by-forging-his-dad's-signature."

Millie shakes her head, chastising him for running off like that, sidestepping her permission to do something crazy and illegal...

Interesting here, how the signature/initials comes into play here again here. John's father Henry never got to make a proper mark on John's life, so John’s left to forge one, trying to feel connected in the only way he knows.

Millie knows her kid, and she recognizes so astutely that it’s all driven by pain and grief.

MILLIE: "Two years gone, and now look at you."

JOHN (somber): "I'm fine, mom."

MILLIE: "Hell you are! You’ve been chasing your dad since you walked out our door. It's why you enlisted. And it's—it's time to let the past go... (whispers) ... Kiddo."

Of course, neither has she.

He hasn’t let go, and she’s bitter—a woman abandoned. They can’t move on partially because they don’t know what the hell happened. They think Henry just... left. Both are scarred by Henry’s loyalty to his work, unable to reconcile the grief of his sudden absence.

//

In Mother’s Little Helper in SPN prime, Henry gets a premonition of their permanent familial separation.

And it’s no accident that he’s on a case where he and his partner are undercover and clothed in religious vestments, a coded “heavenly” duty to the Men of Letters. (Duty that, in Henry’s eyes, came before everything else.)

But tragically, Henry’s premonition and gut instincts were right. He did leave Millie a widow and John fatherless. Later, when he meets Sam and Dean, he’ll describe Millie and especially John as everything. But it’s too late. There was no closure.

They don’t even know that they were so truly loved by him.

(Note: This working pair has distinct s9 & 10 Hannah and Cas-like echoes. The episode culminates in a scene with a black "Baby-like" car—one that feels a bit Dean and hunting-duty coded. That's because the “work” spirals all the way down through each level of life, high to low.)

///

What's next?

MILLIE (gets her emotions in check, shoving them down, turning stern): So what are you gonna do next?

Millie is all about motion—always looking forward, never backward. But here, that drive isn’t helping them. Every time they get near anything emotional, Millie shuts it down.

It doesn’t feel like wisdom; it feels more like a dismissal—“get over it.”

If the Campbell way is lone wolfing, then the Winchester way is work, work, work. (Sam knows this one too well!) Keep moving forward, don’t look back. Leave the past in the past.

But here, that mindset isn’t helping. You can read it on John's face. This isn't what he needs.

It's everything but the heart of the issue.

Here, John is more aligned with Dean’s way of dealing with things—heart, emotions, feeling it all. He needs to face what’s behind him, not just keep asking "what’s next?" That mentality—the constant forward motion—is likely what pushed him into action, like enlisting, like hunting.

Millie doesn’t understand why John runs. But it’s because she’s not emotionally present. She’s the one asking where to next, focused on the future and the next step.

She’s not in tune with the emotions he’s trying to process—he’s looking at what’s in the rearview, while she’s pushing forward, unwilling to stop and face what’s been left unresolved.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 AGH.

///

The quest for purpose and meaning

John is searching for meaning, but his mom can't give him that. She's too wounded to see any meaning in her own loss, too consumed by her grief.

Because there is no emotional honesty between then... John doesn't tell Millie about the letter.

In the quest for meaning, he goes alone.

He takes the letter and carries the pieces of his decade-broken family with him, running parallel to Mary, who is also reeling from her newly broken family.

When they meet, it won't be about a bright future—it will be about finally seeing each other, not through hope, but through the mess of their pasts.

Dean-the-narrator knows this all too well—building and rebuilding his life with Cas and his family, over and over. Their pasts, their obligations, always in play. Because that’s what real life is. The whole messy business of not living the apple pie fantasy or the white picket fence ideal, but facing the mess, the baggage, and still moving forward without pretending life will never let you down. That’s what running your own race looks like.

[shallowseeker]

Hi. They really went out of their way to make sure Millie called John variants of kid / kiddo, didn't they?

[menlove]

identity crisis? help is here. if you ever wanted to know which x coded y girl you are but for the beatles this uquiz will tell u everything u need to know. 100% satisfaction guaranteed

[quarterlifekitty]

first of all i love womens hockey, strong ladies slamming up on the glass, amazing.

i went to a pwhl game and a man with his like teenage daughter were next to me and THAT MFER LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE JOHN PRICE hat and blue eyes and beard and everything it was nuts. anyways john price is a hockey girl dad of a scary 13 year old who kept staring at me the whole game.

just needed people to knoww

(fuck that mans gorgeous irl)

also i love your writing. Thank u for sharing ur brain w the internet.

That makes me think like. Imagine being John’s neighbor. You haven’t spoken more than pleasantries to him, introduced yourself to him and his daughter, made small talk at block parties.

And one cold day after school, his daughter is sitting on the front steps shivering, because she forgot her house key. You don’t have a spare, and John won’t be home for hours— so you tell her to stay inside your place until then. You call John and leave a message to let him know.

She’s a little wary of you, which is good. It’s not like you’re a total stranger, but you’re also not necessarily trustworthy yet. She just parks herself on the couch and watches whatever you’d had on tv, a little awkward as she sips the cup of tea you’d made her so she could warm up.

She ends up getting kinda attached. You joke with her that you watch the show that’s on because of the hot guys in it, and she smiles. She’s at that age, but of course she doesn’t really want to talk about it with John. You remember being 13, and she likes talking to you. John comes by once he’s home, thanks you profusely and apologizes for having to take up so much of your day. You tell him it was no trouble at all, and that she’s welcome any time.

She ends up taking you up on your offer. Usually after school, when her dad is still at work. You just leave the door open. She asks you questions about boys, about makeup— things she’s a little curious about but her mother isn’t around to answer. You get invited to all of her hockey games, with John insisting you sit next to him (when he can make it, that is).

You do holiday baking with her. She invites you to her birthday dinner. You’re welcomed over to John’s for every Christmas and other holiday they can manage to throw together a little gathering for. You’re so focused on her that you completely miss how John stares at you every single time you’re with his daughter.

Such a natural with her— and he’s had such a hard time connecting with her now that she’s becoming a teen. They’ve always had hockey, but it’s hard for him to accept that she’s not a baby anymore (even thought she’ll always be his baby). She storms over to your place every time they fight, and he’s eternally grateful she has somewhere to go for comfort when he doesn’t understand her.

She’s over at yours so much that he thinks it might be easier if you just moved in. That it would be a big age gap, but his daughter might like to have a little sibling. That if anything ever happened to him he’d want you to have every right to look after her. If that’s what you wanted, anyways.

And he loves his girl more than anything in the world, but it hasn’t been easy. Between raising her and his work, he doesn’t hardly have any time for dating. Whenever he’s tried— his daughter had found a problem with whoever he’d brought home, and that had signaled the end. It was hard enough to find anyone interested in dating a single parent.

So when you’d moved in next door, he couldn’t help himself. You’re pretty, single. He can see you through his window almost any time he wants. You don’t close your curtains nearly as much as you should, either. He’s just a man, y’know?

So, yeah, he’s made himself cum thinking of you more times than he can count. And it only gets worse once he has those fleeting thoughts about you being a mother for his girl. Maybe a few more kids if he can manage to get a ring on your finger. Insane thought to have when he’s never even asked you out on a date.

[millieduboisart]

Just like old times 😎✨

Ko-fi/Commissions

[sconesfortea]

The attention to detail on the cars in the background!

[rhiandoesfandom]

A slow clap for all the ASTOUNDING voice acting in Ghostfuckers btw.

[cephalopistol]

ms paint things from bsky part 1

2 - 3

[milfzatannaz]

no because this panel of John talking to Daniel about Morpheus is making me SCREAM

[ringosmistress]

[spnwin-reader]

MILLIE (wry, with good humor): If they start trying to blame everything on the mother, you're out of there, got it?" JOHN: Of course. We all know it's dad's fault, anyway.

It's a cheeky exchange, but it's also a red herring. The line nods at the outdated frigid mother theory, a relic of 20th-century psychology that blamed women—especially grieving or emotionally guarded mothers—for everything from neuroses to homosexuality.

But here’s the thing: Millie isn’t frigid. She’s loving.

And yes, her grief has created barriers—but what else can grief do when there’s no safe place to put it?

And what of Henry? "It's dad's fault."

Is it his fault he was trying to support his family and uphold a legacy? His fault he was manipulated and murdered? Blame is easy to pass around, but it’s the wrong question.

This isn’t about whose fault it is—it’s about the conditions that create that need to assign fault at all. The truth is, the American dream makes big promises to get people to serve—through war, through secret societies, through generational duty—but when it breaks them, it offers no safety nets.

No support for the grieving. No stability for those working themselves to the bone. No buffer when trauma strikes and resources run out.

Blame is a distraction.

The real story is what happens in a country that doesn’t catch you when you fall.

[asummersarah]

John Lennon and Paul McCartney defeating Jinkx Monsoon with music wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card but here we are

[swiftiesbuddie]

what in the wandavision?

[variouspolltournaments]

Anti-Propaganda is not allowed. Please only give reasons to vote for something and not give reasons to vote against something.

[pestopastaenjoyer]

if salmondean or john do ever makes u so angry that u want to throw ur remote across the room pls consider that being fucking stupid and insufferable and horrible runs in the family and quite literally comes with the last name. i’m not talking abt the predetermined fucked up biblical fates part. i’m talking abt the fact that henry had arguably the baddest baddie at home (millie) while simultaneously having the most awkward bizarre palpable sexual tension w ‘josie’. are you fucking kidding me

[happy-mokka]

Doctor Who?!?

I am currently re-watching Doctor Who ("NuWho" starting with Christopher Eccleston). I already liked it the first time and that very much.

But it is just now that I truly start to recognize the pure genius of it all...

I cannot give Russel T. Davies and the other writers enough credit on how they achieved to create something, that on one hand makes you chuckle and laugh all the time at the epic silliness of the whole thing...stories, characters, settings, effects...and at the same time gets you emotionally invested to an amount, that you even start to cry here and there over a sad or melancholic story arc or cleverly woven in cultural or political topics and criticism.

I cannot hug my dear friend tight enough for having me pushed into watching it. She once wrote a post here on Doctor Who and called it "art" and that is exactly what it is...in it's whole complexity and variety it is just that: true art.