#jordan i like this new pen i’m using :3

[queddadraw]

Picked up a stray

[rainsmediaradio]

Drake - 8AM in Charlotte Lyrics

Drake - 8AM in Charlotte Lyrics Intro In God's hands (Conductor) Be grateful That He was there Glory (Yeah) I'm out here on the road You can hear it in the voice (Glory) Still get this shit off, though Look Verse 1 The money speakin' for itself, I call it fortune-tell Fire top from a bitch that work at corporate sales Chinchilla ushanka, we skiin' out in Courchevel Breakin' news, they tried to kill him, but the boy prevails I leave for tour and my niggas fuckin' go to jail Preachin' to the dogs 'bout wantin' more for themselves It's weighin' heavy on my moral scale Knowin' they gon' sell another citizen 'caine, they think they Orson Welles Walk in Chanel, they like, "How the fuck you need more Chanel?" I got these cats tuckin' tails on fourth-quarter sales I'm used to seein' tears drop over enormous meals The restaurant clears out, faint echoes of Lauryn Hill I say, "We gotta talk about us," I feel like Jordan Peele Could tell I'm gettin' under your skin like a orange peel 'Cause your words don't match your actions like a foreign film And now it's silence in the Lamb' like the horror film Things get quiet after me statin' the obvious Things get kinky after fifteen years of dominance That October sky is lookin' ominous The money is autonomous Shout' to Oliver North, he out in Rome doin' Toronto shit And Jeremiah the watchdog, you niggas know what time it is I'm in and out of Houston Hobby so much, I'm a hobbyist Hoes waitin' on Cench in the lobby, that boy a lobbyist Savage got a green card straight out of the consulate Where I go, you go, brother, we Yugoslavian Formal is the dress code, dawg, so many checks owed I feel Czechoslovakian, nigga, what the fuck? Interlude Nah, I'm movin' different right now, for real, like I feel like if Mike switched out the glove for the pen, like This shit just too enticing right now, you know? Look Verse 2 Diamonds do the silly dance, I raise up the wine glass Metal detectors beepin' and security bypass The numbers goin' up, someone pull up the line graph The days are goin' by, it's like I'm livin' in time-lapse Been talkin' to Adel like he majored in finance Shania Twain, notepad, I'm makin' it line-dance You tryna rob me, and it's gon' feel like you sittin' at your favorite restaurant 'cause, nigga, that's where you dyin' at Mob ties, I swear we like a bitch with fine sisters and fine cousins, the family all bad I'm preachin' to the dawgs about cleanin' they images I swear I'm like a young T.D. Jakes to my menaces Long-kiss goodnight, PDA for my nemesis Three hunnid acres, PGA on the premises That's what's really brackin' like this verse in parentheses I'm givin' hits to niggas on some, don't even mention it Interlude Like, don't even worry about it, like You can hit me back whenever, or Or don't, you know? It is what it is, I guess Yeah, hm Look Verse 3 You young boys take some of that money and set it aside Not havin' enough to pay your tax is a federal crime You niggas obsessed with me, and it's not on no hetero vibe Handle beef so quiet, you think that I'm lettin' it slide Next thing you know, we tip-toein' past enemy lines Diss me so long ago, we making your memories fly Conspiracy theories start floatin' 'round like the Kennedy guy I'll prolly hold a grudge against you guys 'til I'm seventy-five Ayy, niggas lyin' for a livin', I couldn't relate We all gotta lay in the bed we make, but that couldn't be Drake You forced a lot of fake love when real ones stood in your face That's why you got deserted by your niggas like puddin' and cake I got you on camera bowin' down, but the footage is safe Thank God, another USB to put in the safe Thank God, at the crib, dippin' my foot in the lake I swear that y'all turned me into the villain, I couldn't escape Not sayin' I'm the best at what I do I'm just sayin' that it's me versus whoever wanna lose Pick any one of the Who's Whos, I got .22s for new crews R.I.P. to the DJ from Houston, we loose screws Helicopters, cop lights, and news crews Niggas steady cryin' to my daddy, well, boo-hoo You prolly heard a lot about the boy, well, true, true, haha Outro (In God's hands) Yeah (Be grateful) (That He was there) Read the full article

[vinnieswife]

Hey could you please do a Vinnie imagine where y/n is was in a toxic relationships before vinnie so she has trust issues. They get into a fight and she ends up crying and vinnie reassures her that he would never do anything to hurt her.

Trust issues

Vinnie Hacker x reader

Angst, fluff at the end Vinnie being a cute baby

Words:

Warnings: mentions of toxic relationships

Your past relationships had gone well, everything was happy, healthy relationships as everyone would see, but, in your last relationship, everything was different, when you saw it you thought it was a somewhat strange but normal behavior, but from the outside everything looked Extreme and disconcerting, when both of you went out you had to always be by his side, you had to give him the passwords of all your social networks and you could not publish things without his permission, he reviewed all your conversations with any man, whether friend or family member.

Every time you were going out, you had to send your location in real time and send photos of you and your friends, you thought that he only cared about you, until one day he cheated on you, and how he had led you to believe that without him you were not nothing you fell into his horrible arms again.

So you kept forgiving him over and over and over again until you got tired and finished with him, based on screams, tears and a thousand notices from your friends, you got it, you managed to end the relationship.

After all this you took a break from relationships and men in general, until Kouvr introduced you to Vinnie, you both met at one of the parties at the Hype House, you started talking realizing the amount of things that you had in common, you both exchanged numbers and started talking day and night, making long video calls whenever there was time, meeting at the skate park or just watching movies in his room, when suddenly Vinnie confessed his feelings for you, which you corresponded (who didn't? really)

You both started dating 3/4 months ago, with which you made it public, to your surprise people were already shipping you and they accepted you quickly.

Vinnie had taught you everything that a healthy relationship entailed, and he was surprised when you wanted to give him the passwords of your social networks, refusing to accept them assuring you that it was completely fine since you should have privacy

I also taught you that you shouldn't tell him where you were all the time, or ask if you could post x random photos or videos. "Sweetheart you don't need to ask me that things, you control that, it's your decision not mine"

I assure you a thousand and one times that any item of clothing would fit you perfectly, and that you should not ask her permission to go out with your friends, “why do you ask me that? Im not your father, you can hang out with your friends everytime you want love ”or to meet friends since he had full confidence in you. Everything was fine, and it made you feel safe with yourself, reminding you every day how Precious you were, how much he loves you, leaving soft kisses anywhere on your body whenever he has the opportunity, taking an interest in your tastes, hugging you when you are afraid , teaching you everything your ex deprived you of, making it an everyday act.

One afternoon Vinnie went to a party at his old house, the Sway gaming, everything was fine with that, you decided to stay home since you didn't feel like going to a party surrounded by people you don't know or just don't You wanted to get out of the comfort of your bed.

"See you later, I'll text you as soon as I get there, okay?" "Mhm" Vinnie placed a kiss on your forehead stroking your cheek in the process. "I love you" "I love you more" he replied making your heart jump with joy, finally being able to feel that happiness in you.

15 minutes later your phone buzz, you caught it by flipping it over, seeing Vinnie's message on the wallpaper.

"I'm here, I'll see you in 2 hours, I love you <3"

To which you replied with a "okay, see you later, I love you <3"

You lay back on the bed, refocusing your attention on the series you were watching, some time later you fell asleep for the tranquility and comfort, you woke up with a call from Maddy, you and she had become very good friends since Jordan and Vinnie were like brothers.

~ on the call ~

"Hey Y/n"

"Hey Maddy! Is everything okay?" You Asked

"Have you not seen it yet?" She asked

"What? See what Maddy? "

"Just enter the TikTok room"

"Give me a minute"

~ End of call ~

You quickly opened your Instagram, typing the TikTok room user in the search engine, in which you saw a photo of Faith (no hate on her, just her name) being so-so close to Vinnie, too close, he was talking to Jordan while that Faith was clinging to his arm, you trusted Vinnie, of course, why wouldn't he do something like that to you, right? All your insecurities began to surface, and if just going to the party was an excuse? just to fool you? No, impossible, Vinnie wouldn't do that.

You waited for two more hours, eating your head, turning it over and over to try to make sense of it, you started to pen- Knock knock on the door.

You went down quickly and opened the door to find a smiling Vinnie.

"Hello beautiful" he leaned down to kiss you, but you moved away causing him to kiss your cheek.

"Y/n, is everything okay?"

"I don't know, ask Faith"

"What are you talking about?" He asked in clear confusion and with a frown.

You took your mobile from your pocket showing him the TikTok room publication with a description of:

#Vinniehacker with his new girlfriend? What happened to Y/n, have they broken up? Or maybe Vinnie is cheating on her?

He looked at the photo in amazement.

"Y/n is not what it seems, I promise you, it is not so bad"

"As it is not so much apart, Vinnie I am your girlfriend and I would never think of approaching one of your friends like that, besides Faith? Seriously? Of all the girls at the party, did you have to get close to Faith? The girl who hates me and who humiliates me every time she can or comments horrible things in my videos? That Faith? "

"Y/n, she is just a friend, nothing will ever happen between her and me, why you don't understand it?”

“Be-because I am afraid that you will do the same as him" you said with a shaking voice, tears running down your cheeks, and little sobs escaping from your mouth "I am afraid that you will use me, that you make me believe that you love me and then make me damage, that's what scares me "

Vinnie quickly hugged you, pressing you against his chest, one of his hands traveled down to your lower back, pressing you,even more, if it’s possible, while the other hand went up to the back of your head stroking your hair, giving you gentle caresses.

"Hey, hey look at me." He took her chin in one hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/n, I want you to know that never. Can you hear me? I would never do something like that to you, you are literally the best thing that has ever happened to me,being with you is like living a little adventure every day, because you are the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I will see when I go to sleep, Y/n you make me feel like no one has ever done before, you make me feel good, and I want to do the same for you, yes, that guy filled you with insecurities and you know what? That I will not stop until I eliminate each and every one of them, because I love you Y/n, I love you with everything I have” With each new phrase that came out of his mouth, more tears fell down your cheeks, but these were of happiness and not of sadness and fear. You had finally found someone who loved you in the same way that you loved him and that is happiness.

Then he leaned down and kiss you properly, his tongue dancing with yours in a passionate lovely kiss,one of his hands cupping your cheek and the other one on your waist,your hands traveled to the back of his neck,pulling him closer to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AAAAHHHH I hope you like it like that 🥰

I also want to notify that my orders are open, in case someone wants any special one💕

[gldngrl7]

Another great episode of Superman & Lois! Does anyone else have to rewind and rewatch every scene at least twice before moving on to the next scene?

I swear, it takes me three hours to get through the first watch.

What IS the most embarrassing thing Clark’s ever heard??? You can’t leave me like that!!!

I’m sorry but being a parent who CAN listen in and check on their kids and then asking them not to? That’s a monumental ask. Clark’s a hero just for trying.

Jonathan is seriously a great brother. He’s incredibly magnanimous and even though he ribs Jordan constantly, it’s clear he loves him all the way to the marrow of his bones.

Did Coach Gaines confirm that Jon is the oldest by calling Jordan his “little brother”? I guess we knew Jon had to be the oldest because Clark was always going to name his firstborn after his dad. You know he’s been planning that since he was five....

I wish Kyle would stop treating Lois like she hasn’t seen some shit.

For real, Lana better not be thinking about moving in on Clark. First of all, Lana is better than that and I don’t want them to turn her into some sad sack who could never get over her high school boyfriend. Clois must be sacrosanct.

“Grand Pabbie at Elsa’s Ice Castle” 🤣🤣. And also “Jor-El Debarge” (though I seriously doubt these kids have even heard of El Debarge). Still, Nothing beats HoloGramps.

Sarah only has eyes for Jordan.

All of the Lois and Clark’s scenes tonight were <<chef’s kiss>>

I knew Lois was in trouble the minute she rolled up to that suicide motel from season 3 of Teen Wolf. But damn if I didn’t love the quarter of a second it took Clark to get from Smallville to New Carthage.

That’s what you get for going after Lois Lane!!! A pen to ear — which would have done the trick if he hadn’t been impermeable. Go Lo!

Why do these losers think that Superman comes at them with his full strength out of the gate? He starts off with Superman Lite and then builds up as needed.

Awwww, Clark and Jordan pretending they need each other’s help to carry the water cooler is so adorable.

I’m wondering if Sharon Powell’s son is one of the people Edge is experimenting on (and then obviously using as a goon squad). Maybe he isn’t dead.

Lois and Chrissy are ON THE CASE! Lois has a sidekick!

[sexbirthdeaths]

bau as things my classmates have done, a comprehensive list

spencer

stopped in the middle of his presentation about world news to go on a long winded rant about how we’re all gonna die unless the government cleans up their act

doing actual drugs in the bathroom

derek

keeps doing headstands out of nowhere

uses his arm cast as a weapon

punches his friends in the dick regularly but like, i’m not gay bro

penelope

wears a pikachu onesie to school

cannot read a clock despite being taught several times

stops the whole lesson to ask the teacher her haircare routine

emily

snorted pixy stix powder off the table in spanish

runs up the stairs on all fours

emptied ballpoint pens into a bottle of hand sanitizer then tasted it

jj

that one girl who cannot sing but really things she can

throws gluesticks at the ceiling to see if they stick

rossi

anime kahoot

points deducted in business class because he starts roasting the client about his drug habits

tries to challenge everyone to a dance battle

hotch

argues with people about how human trafficking is justified

wears a suit to non uniform

tara

pretended to make out with a cardboard cutout of megan markle

how many gluesticks can i balance on my head at once

luke

genuinely thought shakespeare was still alive

that one kid who does anime girl moans in the middle of maths

“is love not a tender thing” [sighs deeply] oh.. chicken tendies...

matt

made his entire school council campaign about how he’s asian and therefore you should vote for him

“look!! my ass is fat, okay! it’s fat!!”

jordan

broke a guy’s glasses because he kicked a ball towards her, except it was the wrong guy

slapped someone in the face with a handful of hand sanitizer

kate

headbutts the vending machine every time she crouches to get the item

cries so hard her fake tan is running down her face

alex

“people from wales are ....... wale-ish”

studying spanish for the past 3 1/2 years, asks what “my name is” is

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart Commission - Harry Hook x reader - Prince Behind the Pirate - part 15 - revenge

*mild cursing*

=

….a secret marriage huh? You glared down at the written document defining the arranged marriage between you and Jordan.

Leah wanted the main wedding to be secret as to not attract the attention of your parents or anyone who knew about you and Harry.

Then she had sent you a detailed letter about how you and Jordan would start dating and within the next two years, do the grand wedding in front of everyone.

And the secret wedding was in two.days.

You were still in a depression over breaking the news to Harry, which was only last night.

You groaned and face planted in your arms, mentally cursing Leah to hell. You replayed Harry's screams in your head, begging for you to come back.

God, this was going to be hard, and you had to keep up the act of “happy perfect princess” when the secret wedding came along to not arise suspicion about it.

You jumped as your phone buzzed, picking it up and glaring down at the screen. -we will go dress shopping tomorrow, be ready by 3:30- you let out a small huff of frustration and turned off your phone, chucking it on your bed, causing it to bounce off the mattress and clatter on the floor.

“go-fu-AHH!” you screamed, standing from your desk and throwing your chair to the ground, kicking your standing mirror down, punching and shattering a photo of you and your grandmother. “I HATE YOU” you let out a guttural scream, grabbing the photo and chucking it out the window.

You sighed through your teeth, rubbing your face as you calmed down, “fuuuuuuuu” you groaned, turning and sitting on your bed “how am I going to do this” you whispered to yourself.

=

Audrey stomped through her parent's castle, death grip on her phone, if her parents admitted to knowing Leah's plan she would hesitate to rip them a new one. She slammed open their office door, causing the two adults to jump from their desks.

“Audrey whats?” her mother started, her eyes widening as Audrey shoved her phone in her face.

“did you know?! That grammie is forcing (y/n) to marry Jordan?!” Aorua stood and grabbed Audreys phone, looking over the texts.

“WHAT?” Phillip yelled, standing from his desk and walking over to the two girls, glaring at the phone “how dare she, she-what the- Aurora she- what about Harry?!” Phillip looked to Audrey, a horrified look on his face.

“grammie blackmailed her! She said if (y/n) didn’t marry Jordan she would never sign the document allowing more vks!” Aurora turned red, almost breaking Audreys phone in her grip.

“the bitch” she muttered, pressing Audreys phone into the teen's chest and pushing past her.

“Mom what are you-?” Audrey stuttered, running after her mom.

“im going to have a talk with King Ben, I want my mother taken off the council right now, her time has long been over” the usually sunny princess growled, her mother had held a grip on her kingdom of Auroia for long enough, now she would remove her grip on Auradon.

=

Luis brows rose as he stepped out of his limo to see Aurora, Phillip, and Audrey stomping up the steps of King Bens castle.

“my what is going on?” he asked aloud, Phillip turned to him, raising his brow.

“what are you doing here Luis?” he asked, waiting for the older man to catch up.

“Im here to tell the king about your mother in laws horrid plan, I should have told him as soon as I heard it but it is difficult to get an audience with him during such a busy time” Luis hummed, smiling as Phillip nodded along.

“same here, Audrey just showed us the texts (y/n) has received from Leah” Luis and Phillip quickly followed the pissed off Aurora who was swiftly making her way to Ben's office.

Aurora slammed his door open, the teen king jumped in fright, scrambling to catch the empty coffee he had tossed in the air in reaction. “A-Aurora?! What-“

“my mother has decided to go behind my back, AND YOURS, blackmailing my daughter to marry Ariels son in exchange for signing the new vks document, or else she would force my daughter to leave Harry and his friends on the isle to rot, and I demand you remove her from the council” Ben’s jaw dropped and he slammed the coffee cup on his desk.

“WHAT?! How long has this been going on?!” Ben gasped, walking around his desk and digging into a cabinet.

“almost two weeks” Luis sighed, rubbing his chin “there was a secret council meeting and almost all of them agreed with her plan, I tried to tell you sooner but you’ve been booked” Ben winced and bowed his head to Luis.

“im sorry about that, I wish I could have spoken to you sooner, thank you for telling me now though, I’ll be removing her from her seat. Oh, and Aurora?” the blonde princess rose her brow “will you take her place?” her jaw dropped slightly before she shook her head.

“(y/n) shou-“ Ben smiled and shrugged.

“as the ambassador of the isle, she already has a position on the council” he turned to Luis “If you could, please give me all the names of those who agreed to her plan, I want them removed immediately”

Luis smiled and nodded, going over to the cabinet and digging into the files, taking out the other rotten apples of the council.

Aurora hummed for a moment, thinking, before she smiled “Ben, if Im going to be one of the new council members, may I have the new vks document?” Ben grinned and nodded, running to his desk and quickly grabbing the document and a pen.

“here you go” Ben chirped, going back to removing the council members with a scribble of his own pen and a red-stained stamp.

Aurora motioned for Phillip to turn around, and he did, letting Aurora use his back as a writing table. She wrote her name with a flourish and smiled, setting the document and pen on Bens's desk.

Audrey stared at her grammies council document and the other rotten council members, her eyes narrowed and she looked up at Ben, who shivered and looked up at her, his eyes curious. “Aud-“

“We need to make them pay, they need to know what the kids on the isle go through” she snarled, making her parents look at her in shock.

Ben tilted his head at her, raising his brow “….only a few months ago you were saying Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay didn’t deserve to be here, what changed?” Aurora gasped at that, going to reprimand her when Phillip stopped her.

“my sister and her stories of the isle, I still don’t like Mal but she, nor any of the kids on the isle deserved what they went and are going through, my sister has been so sad without Harry because of my grandmother and the other idiots of the council, I want revenge for my sister” Audrey and Ben stared at each other, the fire in her eyes surprising him.

He smiled and nodded, “I think I know a way to do that, would you mind going to get fairy godmother? And tell her to get her wand, we have some council members to spell” Audrey gave a nasty grin and nodded, bolting out of Ben's office with her parents following close behind.

Aurora stopped, looking back at Ben, a smile on her face “thank you, Ben”

“thank you Aurora, (y/n) is my best friend, I can't have her happiness ripped from her” he smiled back, nodding at Luis and calling Lumiere to his office.

Ben stopped, humming to himself before taking his phone out and texting Audrey

-tell FG to spell my father as well, he needs to learn his own lesson about the isle-

-copy that >:)-

=

Leah hummed to herself as she ran her fingers through (y/n)s wedding gown, the modest dress was fit for a princess.

“soon I will have my hands on my own kingdom again” she muttered, a grin spreading on her face.

She stopped, a huge wave of dizziness overtaking her “oh my” she muttered, stumbling back to her bed and falling back into it, “wha?”

Her eyes drifted close and she fell into a nightmare.

=

Leah stumbled around the rotten smelling streets of the isle, eyes watering at the putrid stench of rotten food and…something else, she couldn't tell though.

She looked to her left, gasping in fear as she locked eyes with eh sunken ones of a tiny three-year-old, the child's cheeks thin and gaunt, her eyes drained of life, her body covered in blood and bruises, her ankles and hands dark and bloody.

“oh my-ah!” a large man bumped into her, clicking his tongue at her and whistling. Leah ran, tripping over loose stones and rusty nails. She tripped over a large fallen pillar, screaming as someone grabbed her.

= (yall can imagine the rest of the council and beasts tourture~…can be as graphic as you want~)=

Harry sighed, unable to move from his bed, his eyes hurt, unable to shed another but trying to. “Harry?” Umas muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door “Harry are you okay? You’ve been in your room for almost two days”

Harry sniffed, his throat was too sore to talk “Harry I’m coming in” Uma opened the door and gasped at Harry's curled up form on his messy bed “harry” she cooed, walking over and kneeling next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder “what-“

“(y/n)s bitch of a gra’ma is forcin’ her ta marry someon’ else ta get ‘er ta sign the document for us” he croaked, wincing as Uma shrieked in anger.

“WHAT! HOW CAN-AH!!?” she stood from beside his bed, walking around while ranting, waving her hands about wildly. “she can't fucking do that?! Its actually illegal she-WHAT!?!” Gil softly knocked on Harry's open door, a bright yet confused look on his face.

“um, there's some of Bens guard messenger dudes outside….along with Ben and Mal?” Uma looked to Harry confused and pushed past Gil, going to meet with the king and Lady of the court.

Harry sniffed and rubbed his cheek, groggily sitting up and looked at gil blankly “did they yell yeh what they wanted” he croaked, sighing as Gil shrugged.

“no, they just wanted to talk to uma-“ Gil jumped as uma leaped into the room, a huge grin on her face.

“pack your bags boys! We’re going to Auradon!” Harry's jaw dropped and he stood quickly, walking over to Uma and gripping her shoulders.

“did-“ Uma’s bright grin turned nasty and she chuckled.

“nope~ beasty boy fired most of the council, including (y/n)s grandma, and the new vk document has been signed! You! Are gonna go get your princess back!” Harry's heart sprung to life and he let out a bout of laughter, picking Uma up in a hug, spinning her around for a moment before setting her down and grabbing his duffle bag, starting to pack.

Uma giggled and pushed Gil's shoulder “come one, we need to go pack, the sooner Harry gets his girl the better” the two teen pirates ran out of Harry's room and to their own to pack.

=

You glared at the long-sleeved white dress hanging from your temporary rooms closet door.

….you were getting married in 10 hours.

You also hadn’t heard from Leah in a day, after she had texted you yesterday about the dress, and all the other crap.

Your phone buzzed and you groaned “speak of the devil” you muttered, hesitantly picking up your phone to look at the text.

-from Leah >:C-

-im sorry-

That…surprised you? Your furrowed your brows in confusion, what? She was sorry all of a sudden, well it didn’t matter, she was fucking ruining your life at the moment, and you couldn’t forgive her.

Your phone buzzed again.

You gasped and stood from your seat, squealing as you jumped around in joy

-from Jordan-

-WEDDINGS OFF!!!:D:D:D-

-YEEES- you texted back -what happened!!! How??!-

- i don’t even know,…i…did come out to them? They were completely supportive btw, so maybe that’s why?…. hey btw, whose the new blonde dude, hes cute-

-that’s amazing im so proud of you! And happy for you!!....what new blonde dude?-

Your phone buzzed again, but this time with a text from your sister.

-hey, ur at the Atlantic hotel right?-

You furrowed your brows and texted her back

-yeah? Why OH DID YOU HEAR?!-

-I KNOW!! :D but you need to come outside, im here to pick you up-

You nodded and messaged her back -okay- and rushed to grab your bags, sliding on your jacket and running out of the room. you didn’t bother to take the elevator, it would take to long.

You slammed open the stairwell doors and ran out the building, giggling as you spotted your sister. “Audrey!!” you screeched, dropping your bags and leaping into her arms “hi!”

“hi!” she screeched back, catching you and swaying you in her arms “ohhhh you have no idea what a crazy two days its been!”

“Are you kidding!?! I was supposed to get married in 10 hours!” you cackled, picking your bags up and tossing them into the back of her Cadillac and hopping in her passenger seat.

Audrey giggled and leaped into the driver's seat, putting her seat belt back on and driving towards the school “ooh I know, there's a surprise for you back at the dorms by the way”

You grinned and poked her shoulder “ohhh what is it~?”

“you gotta find out for yourself~” Audrey teased, pushing off your hand.

“Okay okay,” you sighed happily, letting your head fall back against the seat and looking up at the clear blue sky.

The day that was going to be your doom was saved.

What would make it even better was Harry.

But, that probably wouldn’t be for another couple months at best with your grandmother still on the council.

“oh by the way grammie was kicked off the council” you popped back up, staring wide-eyed at Audrey.

“what?!?! Wait does that-holy shit” you muttered, laughter bubbling beneath your words.

Audrey laughed with you, telling you about how mom and dad found out about Leah's plan and foiling it, telling Ariel and Eric that she had gone behind their backs and didn’t know about the arranged marriage.

They were pissed, immediately calling off the wedding and apologizing to your parents and Jordan.

About an hour later you arrived back at the dorms, you raised your brow at the limo out front, multiple bags being emptied from the trunk “Aud whats- HOLY FUCK” you screamed, unbuckling your seat belt and leaping out of the car, running towards the tall Scottish pirate “HARRY!” he looked up, a huge grin spreading across his face.

“(Y/N)!” he yelled, running towards you and catching you mid-air, spinning you around in his arms “my love holy shit I missed yeh” he sobbed in your ear, happy tears running down his face and soaking your top.

“Harry Harry Harry” you muttered over and over again, pulling back and peppering kissing all over his face, making him giggle.

“dawww” Audrey and Uma cooed, Audrey snapping a photo of the reunion. Harry shook off your kisses and grinned at you, yelping adorably as you pouted and grabbed his face, forcing more kisses on his nose and cheeks. “let.me.love.you” you kissed between each word, ignoring your parents and sister in the background, cooing and snapping photos of the two of you.

“lass, lass, love, (y/n)-ah~!” he squealed, setting you down and grabbing your hands and peeling them from his neck “love I’m ticklish please”

“you must be Harry” Harry perked up, straightening as he locked eyes with your dad.

“uh-aye, yes! Yes, sir tha’s me” he said nervously, blinking surprised as Phillip held out his hand.

“thank you for making my daughter happy and keeping her safe when she was on the isle with you” Harry smiled and took his hand, yelping as Phillip pulled him in for a hug and Aurora joined in, greeting Harry with a chirp.

“hello~ (y/n) has told us all about you!” she squealed, ruffling Harry's hair.

“uh really?” Harry murmured, peeking at you through the gap between Aurora's head and Phillip’s arm

You gave him a bright smile and walked over, pulling him from your parent's arms “lass-mmf!?” you pulled him down and pressed your lips to his, humming into it.

Harry's eyes fluttered closed, shoulders dropping and arms wrapping around your waist.

“Okay okay” Phillip chuckled, patting your shoulder “that’s enough, now why don’t we help these four move in”

You turned, gasping as you spotted Uma, Gil, and Dizzy standing at the entrance, Dizzy squealing, and bouncing around.

“Yeah!” you grinned, grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him into the dorm building, harry intertwining his fingers with yours.

You finally had your pirate prince back.

 -the end, thank you for reading! Also, told you it was a happy end~-

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@lunanight2012​

@musicarose​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​

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[sinceileftyoublog]

Pitchfork Music Festival 2021 Preview: 15 Can’t-miss Acts

black midi; Photo by YIS KID

BY JORDAN MAINZER

While yours truly won’t be attending Pitchfork Music Festival this year, SILY contributor Daniel Palella will be covering the actual fest. If I was attending, though, these would be the acts I’d make sure to see. 5 from each day, no overlaps, so you could conceivably see everyone listed.

FRIDAY

Armand Hammer, 1:00 PM, Green Stage

Earlier this year, New York hip hop duo Armand Hammer released their 5th album Haram (BackwoodzStudioz) in collaboration with on-fire producer The Alchemist. It was the duo’s (ELUCID and Billy Woods) first time working with a singular producer on a record (though Earl Sweatshirt produced a track), and likewise, The Alchemist actually tailored his beats towards the two MCs. Haram is the exact kind of hip hop that succeeds early in the day at a festival, verbose and complex rhymes over languid, cloudy, sample-heavy beats, when attendees are more likely to want to sit and listen than dance. And you’re going to want to listen to Armand Hammer, whose MCs’ experiential words frame the eerie hues of the production. “Dreams is dangerous, linger like angel dust,” Woods raps on opener “Sir Benni Miles”, never looking back as he and Elucid’s stream-of-consciousness rhymes cover everything from colonization to Black bodily autonomy and the dangers of satisfaction disguised as optimism. (“We let BLM be the new FUBU,” raps Quelle Chris on “Chicharrones”; “Iridescent blackness / Is this performative or praxis?” ponders Woods on “Black Sunlight”.)  There are moments of levity on Haram, like KAYANA’s vocal turn on “Black Sunlight” and the “what the hell sound is this?” type sampling that dominates warped, looped tracks like “Peppertree” and “Indian Summer”, built around sounds of horns and twirling flute lines. For the most part, Haram is an album of empathetic realism. “Hurt people hurt people,” raps Elucid on “Falling Out of the Sky”, a stunning encapsulation of Armand Hammer’s world where humanism exists side-by-side with traumatic death and feelings of revenge.

You can also catch Armand Hammer doing a live set on the Vans Channel 66 livestream at 12 PM on Saturday.

Dogleg, 1:45 PM, Red Stage

It feels like we’ve been waiting years to see this set, and actually, we have! The four-piece punk band from Michigan was supposed to play last year’s cancelled fest in support of their searing debut Melee (Triple Crown), and a year-plus of pent up energy is sure to make songs like “Bueno”, “Fox”, and “Kawasaki Backflip” all the more raging. Remember: This is a band whose reputation was solidified live before they were signed to Triple Crown and released their breakout album. Seeing them is the closest thing to a no-brainer that this year’s lineup offers.

Revisit our interview with Dogleg from last year, and catch them at an aftershow on Saturday at Subterranean with fellow Pitchfork performer Oso Oso and Retirement Party.

Hop Along, 3:20 PM, Red Stage

Though lead singer Frances Quinlan released a very good solo album last year, it’s been three years since their incredible band Hop Along dropped an album and two years since they’ve toured. 2018′s Bark Your Head Off, Dog (Saddle Creek), one of our favorite albums of that year, should comprise the majority of their setlist, but maybe they have some new songs?

Catch them at an aftershow on Saturday at Metro with Varsity and Slow Mass.

black midi, 4:15 PM, Green Stage

The band who had the finest debut of 2019 and gave the best set of that year at Pitchfork is back. Cavalcade (Rough Trade) is black midi’s sophomore album, methodical in its approach in contrast with the improvisational absurdism of Schlagenheim. Stop-start, violin-laden lead single and album opener “John L”, a song about a cult leader whose members turn on him, is as good a summary as ever of the dark, funky eclecticism of black midi, who on Cavalcade saw band members leave and new ones enter, their ever shapeshifting sound the only consistent thing about them. A song like the jazzy “Diamond Stuff” is likely impossible to replicate live--its credits list everything from 19th century instruments to household kitchen items used for percussion--but is key to experiencing their instrumental adventurousness. On two-and-a-half-minute barn burner “Hogwash and Balderdash,” they for the first time fully lean into their fried Primus influences, telling a tale of two escaped prisoners, “two chickens from the pen.” At the same time, this band is still black midi, with moments that call back to Schlagenheim, the churning, metallic power chords via jittery, slapping funk of “Chondromalacia Patella” representative of their quintessential tempo changes. And as on songs like Schlagenheim’s “Western”, black midi find room for beauty here, too, empathizing with the pains of Marlene Dietrich on a bossa nova tune named after her, Geordie Greep’s unmistakable warble cooing sorrowful lines like, “Fills the hall tight / And pulls at our hearts / And puts in her place / The girl she once was.” Expect to hear plenty from Cavalcade but also some new songs; after all, this is a band that road tests and experiments with material before recording it.

Catch them doing a 2 PM DJ set on Vans Channel 66 on Saturday and at an aftershow on Monday at Sleeping Village.

Yaeji, 7:45 PM, Blue Stage

What We Drew (XL), the debut mixtape from Brooklyn-based DJ Yaeji, was one of many dance records that came out after lockdown that we all wished we could experience in a crowd as opposed to at home alone. Now's our chance to bask in all of its glory under a setting sun. Maybe she’ll spin her masterful remix of Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now” from the Club Future Nostalgia remix album, or her 2021 single “PAC-TIVE”, her and DiAN’s collaboration with Pac-Man company Namco.

Angel Olsen; Photo by Dana Trippe

SATURDAY

Bartees Strange, 1:45 PM, Red Stage

One of our favorite albums of last year was Live Forever (Memory Music), the debut from singer-songwriter and The National fanatic Bartees Strange, one that contributor Lauren Lederman called “a declaration of an artist’s arrival.” He’s certainly past arrived when you take into account his busy 2021, releasing a new song with Lorenzo Wolff and offering his remix services to a number of artists, including illuminati hotties and fellow Pitchfork performer (and tour mate) Phoebe Bridgers. Expect to hear lots of Live Forever during his Pitchfork set, one of many sets at the fest featuring exciting young guitar-based (!) bands.

Catch him at a free (!!) aftershow on Monday at Empty Bottle with Ganser.

Faye Webster, 4:00 PM, Blue Stage

Since we previewed Faye Webster’s Noonchorus livestream in October, she’s released the long-awaited follow-up to Atlanta Millionaires Club, the cheekily titled I Know I’m Funny haha (Secretly Canadian). At that time, she had dropped “Better Distractions”, “In A Good Way”, and “Both All The Time”, and the rest of the album more than follows the promise of these three dreamy country, folk rock, and R&B-inspired tunes. Webster continues to be a master of tone and mood, lovelorn on “Sometimes”, sarcastic on the title track, and head-in-the-clouds on “A Dream with a Baseball Player”. All the while, she and her backing band provide stellar, languorous instrumentation, keys and slide guitar on the bossa nova “Kind Of”, her overdriven guitar sludge on “Cheers”, cinematic strings on the melancholic “A Stranger”, stark acoustic guitar on heartbreaking closer “Half of Me”. And the ultimate irony of Webster’s whip-smart lyricism is that a line like, “And today I get upset over this song that I heard / And I guess was just upset because why didn't I think of it first,” is that I can guarantee a million songwriters feel the same way about her music, timely in context and timeless in sound and feeling.

Catch her at an aftershow on Saturday at Sleeping Village with Danger Incorporated.

Georgia Anne Muldrow, 5:15 PM, Blue Stage

The queen of beats takes the stage during the hottest part of the day, perfect for some sweaty dancing. VWETO III (FORESEEN + Epistrophik Peach Sound), the third album in Muldrow’s beats record series, was put together with “calls to action” in mind, each single leading up to the album’s release to be paired with crowdsourced submissions via Instagram from singers, visual artists, dancers, and turntablists. Moreover, many of the album’s tracks are inspired by very specific eras of Black music, from Boom Bap and G-funk to free jazz, and through it all, Muldrow provides a platform for musical education just as much as funky earworms.

Revisit our interview with Muldrow from earlier this year.

Angel Olsen, 7:25 PM, Red Stage

It’s been a busy past two years for Angel Olsen. She revealed Whole New Mess (Jagjaguwar) in August 2020, stripped down arrangements of many of the songs on 2019′s amazing All Mirrors. In May, she came out with a box set called Song of the Lark and Other Far Memories (Jagjaguwar), which contained both All Mirrors and Whole New Mess and a bonus LP of remixes, covers, alternate takes, and bonus tracks. She shortly and out of nowhere dropped a song of the year candidate in old school country rock high and lonesome Sharon Van Etten duet “Like I Used To”. And just last month, she released Aisles, an 80′s covers EP out on her Jagjaguwar imprint somethingscosmic. She turns Laura Branigan’s disco jam “Gloria” and Men Without Hats’ “Safety Dance” into woozy, echoing, slowed-down beds of synth haze and echoing drum machine. On Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark’s “If You Leave”, her voice occupies different registers between the soft high notes of the bridge and autotuned solemnity of the chorus. Sure, other covers are more recognizable in their tempo and arrangement, like Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell ballad “Eyes Without a Face” and Alphaville’s “Forever Young”, but Aisles is exemplary of Olsen’s ability to not just reinvent herself but classics.

At Pitchfork, I’d bet on a set heavy on All Mirrors and Whole New Mess, but as with the unexpectedness of Aisles, you never know!

St. Vincent, 8:30 PM, Green Stage

Annie Clark again consciously shifts personas and eras with her new St. Vincent album Daddy’s Home (Loma Vista), inspired by 70′s funk rock and guitar-driven psychedelia. While much of the album’s rollout centered around its backstory--Clark’s father’s time in prison for white collar crimes--the album is a thoughtful treatise on honesty and identity, the first St. Vincent album to really stare Clark’s life in the face. 

Many of its songs saw their live debut during a Moment House stream, which we previewed last month.

The Weather Station; Photo by Jeff Bierk

SUNDAY

Tomberlin, 1:00 PM, Green Stage

While the LA-via-Louisville singer-songwriter hasn’t yet offered a proper follow-up LP to her 2018 debut At Weddings, she did last year release an EP called Projections (Saddle Creek), which expands upon At Weddings’ shadowy palate. Songs like “Hours” and “Wasted” are comparatively clattering and up-tempo. Yet, all four of the original tracks are increasingly self-reflexive, Tomberlin exploring and redefining herself on her terms, whether singing about love or queerness, all while maintaining her sense of humor. (“When you go you take the sun and all my flowers die / So I wait by the window and write some shit / And hope that you'll reply,” she shrugs over acoustic strums and wincing electric guitars.) The album ends with a stark grey cover of Casiotone for the Painfully Alone’s “Natural Light”; Tomberlin finds a kindred spirit in the maudlin musings of Owen Ashworth.

Get there early on Sunday to hear select tracks from At Weddings and Projections but also likely some new songs.

oso oso, 2:45 PM, Blue Stage

Basking in the Glow (Triple Crown), the third album from Long Beach singer-songwriter Jade Lilitri as Oso Oso, was one of our favorite records of 2019, and we’d relish the opportunity to see them performed to a crowd in the sun. Expect to hear lots of it; hopefully we’re treated to new oso oso material some time soon.

Catch them at an aftershow on Saturday at Subterranean with fellow Pitchfork performer Dogleg and Retirement Party.

The Weather Station, 4:00 PM, Blue Stage

The Toronto band led by singer-songwriter Tamara Lindeman released one of the best albums of the year back in February with Ignorance (Fat Possum), songs inspired by climate change-addled anxiety. While the record is filled with affecting, reflective lines about loss and trying to find happiness in the face of dread, in a live setting, I imagine the instrumentation will be a highlight, from the fluttering tension of “Robber” to the glistening disco of “Parking Lot”.

Revisit our preview of their Pitchfork Instagram performance from earlier this year. Catch them at an aftershow on Friday at Schubas with Ulna.

Danny Brown, 6:15 PM, Green Stage

The Detroit rapper’s last full-length record was the Q-Tip executive produced uknowhatimsayin¿ (Warp), though he’s popped up a few times since then, on remixes, a Brockhampton album, and TV62, a Bruiser Brigade Records compilation from earlier this year. (He’s also claimed in Twitch streams that his new album Quaranta is almost done.) His sets--especially Pitchfork sets--are always high-energy, as he’s got so many classic albums and tracks under his belt at this point, so expect to hear a mix of those.

Erykah Badu, 8:30 PM, Green Stage

What more can I say? This is the headliner Pitchfork has been trying to get for years, responsible for some of the greatest neo soul albums of all time. There’s not much else to say about Erykah Badu other than she’s the number one must-see at the festival.

[856764864568]

The prince gave her a curious look

But will it be said. The prince gave her a curious look. If you plough through the marketing jargon, Boost is based on a plastic developed by chemical company BASF. It was down to fours required off each of the balls left.. In Lhazar I slew two of my own serjeants for plotting to steal the gems and gold plate my queen had entrusted to me as gifts for the Lamb Men. His .484 OBP is 4th in the league. The power comes from your abdominal muscles. There all the field-slaves lived and worked. Nor are planters indifferent to the comfort of their gray-headed slaves. Some reported seeing him north of the river, above the grass of the Dothraki sea. Even haibike e mtb 2020 full court. I walk up and down, up and down, here, always alone, always alone, always thinking; thoughts come rushing like a whirlwind! It’s so horrible! One thing I’ve thought of, Vanya; couldn’t you get to know her? You know the countess admired your novel (you said so yourself at the time). 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COLORADO SPRINGS Cole Gunner scored a career adidas eqt rose gold high four goals to led Air Force to a 10 3 win biciclete rusesti vechi over AIC in game two of a best of three Atlantic Hockey playoff series, Saturday, March 7, at the Cadet Ice Arena. Gibran Essa and Crawford Kennedy were champions, beating Pace Academy in the semifinals and Liberal Arts and Sciences in the finals Max Abramson and Aly Shakoor were semifinalists. But not all. "The result is a film that starts off as a solid, workmanlike exercise in horror, but it can quite keep that energy through to the end. “You saw how we went through the wildlings.” Ser Justin pushed back a lock of flaxen hair. I never liked a pair of shoes that I could not effectively use to run (not that I'm paranoid, but sometimes you just need to run). 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Stuart Blackton of Vitagraph spoke of the need for military preparation to protect US territories and recited a pro war poem whose final words were "So fire your forges and dam the bills/For the wings of peace must have iron quills." When Wilson addressed the audience that night, he kept his remarks limited to vague statements about truth in film storytelling. And each airman will have an opportunity to say thank you as well. Again, these teachers tell them that they should search the Scriptures most earnestly, diligently and continually, at the same time declaring that it is not their intention to interfere with the laws which forbid their being taught to read. This lack of mobility can lead to lack of independence, low self confidence and self esteem, depression, and in some cases these issues can lead to loss of employment and therefore detrimental financial implications.. He was very tall, very thin, so long-legged that it was a wonder his feet did not drag along the ground. 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The 6 8 Phillips grad, who has come back from major heart surgery, totalled 29 points, 27 rebounds and 15 blocks in two wins.

[zashamalkin]

Translation of Anna Kasterova’s live interview on 5/29/20.

Thanks to my amazing Gino Anon, the entire interview is translated below the cut. Final word count, btw, is 2405 so like, send big thanks their way. Holy shit! 

Anna got sick few days before the interview. Not covid, just a cold, that later turned into otitis. It was very painful, but now she’s feeling way better, though she still has some trouble hearing with her left ear. They talk a bit about the weather in Miami (it’s been raining there for a few days, but it’s still pretty hot). Igor asks if they’re allowed to swim during the quarantine. Anna says that the 1/ 

beaches were recently open, but there are obviously rules about keeping the safe distance. “Is Zhenya a good swimmer?” “Yeah, he’s great. He’s spending a lot of time with Nikita, teaching him how to swim. More in the pool though, than in the ocean.” “How do you and Zhenya feel about the latest news in NHL?” “I think, the idea is pretty good. Everyone has been waiting on some news about this season. I asked Zhenya if he preferred for the season to be cancelled. He said, he wanted to finish it 2/ 

properly. This season has been great for him, he’s in a great shape. And even though he hasn’t been skating for 2 months, he’s still been training pretty hard, running, roller skating and he didn’t lose his shape.” She thinks everything is turning pretty good so far and it’s great that the teams will have a time for training camps and a chance to go to playoffs.“In your opinion, were the players mentally prepared to continue the season?” “I think, those, who genuinely want to go to playoffs, 3/ 

have been working very hard to be ready, when the time comes. But, for sure, there are some players, who spent more time relaxing, rather than training. A lot of teams are asking their players to come back and start training on the ice and not all of the players follow their instructions.” “What are the rules about practice right now? Are they allowed to train in groups or…?” “There are no details about it yet. It haven’t even been decided yet, what cities will be chosen as Hub cities. So far 4/ 

the coaches are asking players to stay in shape. They have video calls together, where they go through different footage every time. But, as far as I understand, the organization and the coaching staff are ready for the players to come back.” “How do the players feel about the new rules for playoffs this season?” “No negative feelings. They’ve been under a lot of mental pressure, not knowing anything about the season and the playoffs. Everything seems pretty logical and they’re very happy to 5/ 

get back on ice and to have a chance to fight for SC.” “Is there any inside information about what cities will be chosen as Hubs?” “No one knows anything for sure. But I know that they’re very carefully considering epidemiological situation in the cities and will choose the safest options. ” *I SUCK at translating hockey terminology from Russian to English, so I’m sorry if anything is incorrect.* “Do you think it would’ve been fairer to include the numbers of “play-in” (I have no idea what he 6/ 

means by “play-in”) as well as the Robin Rounds into the statistics of regular season? Because it would give the players, like Ovechkin and Panarin, and Malkin to gain more points.” “It’s a very difficult question. But I’m sure NHL and NHLPA have gone over all the possible scenarios and have chosen the best one.” “How has Geno been handling the quarantine?” “He’s been very calm and collected. He’s been doing great mentally, smiling and cracking jokes, and keeping us safe and happy.” “Why did 7/

your family (meaning Geno, Anna and Nikita) decide to do a covid testing in early April?” “I had a pneumonia in November and wanted to find out for myself, if it was covid-induced, if I had any antibodies for the virus. But all the testing came back negative. None of us had it.” “What books did you and Zhenya read during the quarantine?” “Zhenya likes to read fantasy books. He’s been reading “Quantum Warrior: The Future of the Mind” by John Kehoe.” “Does he read in English?” “No, in English 8/

he’s mostly watching TV shows.” “I was very impressed by the story, that after his 1st season in NHL, Zhenya hired Russian language and literature teacher.” “He’s had a lot of free time these past 2 months and he’s hired 2 tutors: English language tutor to work on his grammar and Russian language tutor. (*Sorry, I don’t know if I need to explain this, but Geno obviously knows how to speak Russian. What I think Anna means here, is that the pronunciation of the words in Russian changes depending9/

on where the person is from. Every region has its own accent. I think, what Geno is trying to do, is lose his Magnitogorsk accent and start to speak clearer Russian, like ppl in Moscow of St. Petersburg do.*) He has classes with his tutors Monday to Friday. I’m very happy for him.” One of Geno’s friends in Russia has been robbed recently. Igor is asking Anna, if they ever considered buying a gun, since it’s allowed in US. Anna says no, they feel safe and they live a good neighborhood. She 10/

doesn’t think it necessary or appropriate. They talk a bit about Ovi’s second child being born recently and if Geno and Anna are planning on having a second child any time soon. “Of course, we wouldn’t mind having another child. If it happens, we’ll be very happy. I would like to have a girl, though.” “What’s the best way to describe Zhenya’s and Ovechkin’s relationships today? Are they friends or rivals” “Both. And healthy rivalry is very important in order to reach their personal goals.” 11/

“When Caps and Pens play each other, is it possible for them to go have dinner after.” “No.” “What can you say about the relationships between Zhenya and Sidney Crosby? When we talked with Zhenya last year, he said very nice and kind things about him. Even though Zhenya is in Sid’s shadow a lot of the time.” “I can talk about it for hours. They push each other and make each other stronger. But they also can step in and do more than anyone, when the other is hurt and not playing. Off the ice, 12/

they are very good friends and they support each other. Have I ever thought about what his life would be like, if he was the only star player in a team? I think, he’d be the best player in the whole NHL. He’s very intelligent in terms of building a game, always plans 2-3 steps ahead. He’s very fearless in his game, very talented and vey multilateral player. He’s very unique. They won together THREE STANLEY CUPS! No one's saying Crosby is less talented. He’s an incredible player, he works very13/

hard every day. They are 2 number 1 players in this team. If Zhenya ever asked me if I’d like him to play in New York, f/e, I’d say, no. Pittsburgh is his city, his home. And management and coaching staff are also a very important part of team success. The relationship inside the team is very important. And Pens are the best in that, imo.” “You two watched Super Bowl at Sid’s place. What’s it like there?” “It’s a tradition. Every year Sid invites the team with their wifes/gfs/kids to watch 14/

Super Bowl. His gf Kathy does all the cooking. She’s a very geart person, very hospitable. *omg, this is the first time I hear any1 talking about Sid’s gf 😀, aww* Everyone on the team is very open, very kind, they are great guys. It’s the best thing about Pens. So we’re always happy to accept Sid’s invitation and we always have a great time.” “Do you want Nikita to become a hockey player?” “We’re not gonna push him to it. If it’s something he wants, sure. But I have big plans for his 15/

education. I’d like him to know 2 languages, (English) and Russian, especially grammar, not just being able to speak it freely. I’m studying with him and for an almost 4 yo he already knows quite a lot. And it’s always very hard for a child of a parent, who has achieved so much, to surpass that kind of success. And I don’t want my son to have this kind of pressure on him. I don’t want him to be known solely as “Malkin’s son”. For me it’s very important for him to get a good education and to 16/

choose his path in life.” “Talking about the tv series about Michael Jordan, would you like a bio series to be shot about Zhenya?” “I know he wants to act, in a tv series or in a movie. He talked about it many times. As for a biopic, of course I would like that. He has a huge success story. A man from a simple, working class family. It’s very expensive to play hockey. And he was so talented even in a young age, that his coaches would sometimes bring him a puck, or a stick, or a uniform, for 17/

free. Add to that a story about him finally getting to NHL.” “Zhenya said once in an interview, that you fight sometimes about him not being open enough w/ you, not sharing his problems etc. Has it changed during the quarantine?” “Everything’s been great during quarantine. During the season, he’s under a lot of pressure and always takes it hard if the team loses or if he doesn’t score. Right now he’s very calm and happy, and everything is great.” A question about a conflict around Geno having18/

a USA passport (a lot of people in Russia, his celebrity friends especially, weren’t happy with that, and judged him for that). What does Anna think about it? “He’s a patriot. He loves his country and his city. We were in a hopeless situation, when I needed to get all the documents ready ASAP, and we needed to get married, and him having a US passport would speed that up. You could say, he did it for me. On the other hand, America is his 2nd home. He spends here more time than in Russia. He’s19/

been working here for years. Why is that such a big problem? It’s not like he turned his back on Russia or anything.” Then she talked about Geno’s donation to families in Magnitogorsk, who suffered bc of explosion that happened there in December 2018, and how much he gives to his community in Russia, that ppl don’t know about, bc he prefers not to advertise it. Then Igor keeps asking political questions and Anna is getting more and more irritated by them. Geno publicly supported Putin’s 20/

reelection whenever that was, and interviewer is asking whether him having an American passport is appropriate, considering that he’s a part of Putin team? “Why is it inappropriate? America and Russia are not enemies. Yes, there are some unresolved political issues. They are 2 huge countries, of course they will always feel threatened by each other. But I don’t see any serious political confrontation. Maybe bc we’re in US right now. But Zhenya has a great respect for his president. *bleh, I 21/

don’t like Putin. I know, she has to say nice things about him, bc as long as Geno is a part of Team Russia and wants to have a life in Russia, they can’t be openly against him. But both Geno and Anna don’t strike me as ppl, who will support Putin’s ideals. Sorry for me butting in w/ my opinion*” Question about Geno’s new diet after 18-19 season. “He never drinks alcohol during season. He doesn’t eat potatoes anymore. It’s very hard to cook him a soup w/o any potatoes in it. No sweet things,22/

no gluten. Now before games, he eats gluten-free pasta.” “Is he very superstitious? Do you try to wean him off some of them?” “No, if it makes him feel comfortable, why would I do that?” She declined to name any of them, bc it’s a personal thing for Geno. “Do you put in any work in Zhenya’s image and style?” “I think so, a bit. His sense of style has become better, his taste in literature.” “Zhenya’s favorite music?” “Russian pop-music mostly.” Question about Geno’s gaming habits. Anna 23/

doesn’t try to control him or tell him not to play, bc for him these computer games are a way to relax. She doesn’t mind. It’s his personal time. He doesn’t have his computer in Miami, so he found another way to spend time – studying with his tutors. Question about Olympics. “Yes, he’d like to win a gold medal with Team Russia, when the time comes.” He doesn’t feel jealous about Datsyuk or Kovalchuk, who have an Olympic gold. “Do you think, Zhenya’s last hockey season before retirement will 24/

be in Magnitogorsk?” “Sure, I don’t see why not. He’s very grateful for everything Metallurg gave him and it would seem logical for him to come back there before retiring.” “What is Zhenya’s biggest motivation right now?” “He’s very self-critical (she means Geno’s words about his skills in 18-19 season). He always has a high bar for himself and je always tries to reach it.” Question about Geno reaching 1000 pts. “It was a very big moment for us and a big win for him. He was very inspired 25/

by it and it gave him a lot of self-confidence.” ‘Was Zhenya mad about not making NHL’s 100 players list?” “I was. I was very angry. But he knows his value and what he’s achieved as a player. But it was very strange for me.” “Who do you think Zhenya wil be after his career ends? And how will your life together change? Will you spend more time in Russia or in US?” “It’s a tough question. I imagine a house by the lake, in Russia, with kids and, later, grandkids. With a big fireplace. I think, 26/

after finishing his career, we’d like to travel a bit. But I don’t know. It’s something you should ask him.”

[qscvgyum]

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[insidethegiftbasket]

Yankees (18-16) at Rays (19-17)

Tuesday – 7:10pm on YES and ESPN: Jordan Montgomery (1-1, 4.41 ERA) vs Luis Patino (1-0, 1.17 ERA)

Wednesday – 7:10 on YES: Gerrit Cole (4-1, 1.61 ERA) vs TBA, most likely Yarbrough for the bulk innings (2-3, 4.58 ERA)

Thursday – 7:10 on YES and MLBN: Jameson Taillon (1-2, 5.02 ERA) vs TBA, most likely Rich Hill (1-1, 5.17 ERA)

Rays Injury Report (since we last played them)

RP Pete Fairbanks – activated off IL on May 5th

RP Collin McHugh – activated off IL on May 5th

1b Ji-Man Choi – finishing rehabbing injured knee, expected to be activated for series vs Yankees

RP Chris Mazza – placed on 10 Day IL due to shoulder inflammation, no timetable for return

SP Michael Wacha – placed on 10 Day IL due to hamstring strain, no timetable for return

RP Diego Castillo – placed on 10 Day IL due to strained groin, no timetable for return

C Francisco Meijia – placed on 10 Day IL due to strained oblique, no timetable for return

OF Kevin Kiermaier – placed on 10 Day IL due to sprained wrist, no timetable for return

Rays Pitching

The good news for this series is that the Yankees avoid Glasnow, who’s still pitching at an All Star level. The bad news? The Rays, despite having seven relievers on the IL right now along with three starting pitchers, are still able to put out multiple elite relievers. Obviously guys like Fairbanks, Strickland, Thompson, and Kittredge have put up nice seasons in the past, but they’ve also started to use some of their top end prospects like Shane McClanahan out of the pen too with a ton of success.

McClanahan, a consensus Top 100 prospect in baseball, is a lefty who made his first career MLB appearance vs the Yankees in the ALDS last season, and mixes a sweeping slider with 33 inches of drop and 4.4 inches of horizontal break (both significantly above average) with a 99mph four seamer with 52% more horizontal break than average.

The slider is legit—in 12 at bats ending with the pitch, opposing batters have struck out eight times and only gotten one hit. The fastball however is a different story—despite having a lot of life to it, he’s leaving it smack dab in the middle of the zone and people are teeing off on it to a tune of a .506 xSLG.

The other main new piece the Rays have been trotting out is Tuesday’s starting pitcher Luis Patino. He was MLB Pipeline’s #23 prospect in 2020 when he was with the San Diego Padres organization, and was one of the main pieces of the Blake Snell deal this past winter. His star started to shine a bit less after a messy 2020 season in San Diego, as he had a real trouble with throwing strikes (16.5% walk rate was in the second percentile) and was miserable when even or behind in the count (opposing batters had a .845 OPS when ahead in the count, a 1.118 OPS when even in the count, and just a .495 OPS when behind.)

I saw him pitch when he was with Single-A Fort Wayne, and you could tell then that he had the potential to be truly special. He was just 18 years old, nearly four years younger than the average Midwest League player, but his stuff is just electric- he has a fastball that sits in the mid 90’s and lasts throughout the whole game, but can touch 100mph. It doesn’t have a ton of movement to it, but it does have a ton of spin (89th percentile in fastball spin rate in 2020, to go along with 94th percentile in fastball velocity.) The go to out pitch however is a disgusting slider- only 27.1 inches of drop (20% less than average) but it gets nearly double the average horizontal break on it. The slider has a 45.5% whiff rate this season and has gotten 8 strikeouts in 14 at bats. More importantly, he’s started throwing strikes more:

Those are his 2020 pitch charts, where he was really all over the place and had to use his change up more often (more on that in a second).

Compared to his 2021 pitch chart, where everything is a lot tighter and he’s thrown the slider for strikes.

He also has a change up, which is 88mph with a low spin rate and low movement, and he uses that almost exclusively against lefties—it’s really the pitch he needs to improve upon if he wants to live up to his billing as a top end starting pitcher, but despite not really having the underlying numbers to back it up, it has been successful so far in his MLB career. In his limited MLB career so far, he actually has reverse splits (righties are slashing .259/.368/.414 and lefties .158/.273/.536), but in his last MILB season righties slashed .163/.259/.220 compared to lefties slashing .262/.308/.443. I’d be willing to bet that his reverse splits right now are nearly purely small sample sizes and that things will go back to normal quickly.

Rays Hitting

Tampa has been improving their offensive numbers, and are up to a 99 OPS+ as a team so far this season (tied for 13th in baseball.) Getting Choi back helps, as it can for Tsutsugo out of the lineup more often as his 38 OPS+ is dragging down the Rays offense drastically—Tampa has the 5th worst OPS out of the DH position. Ideally, they’d be able to play Meadows there more often, but Kiermaier’s injury takes away his Gold Glove level defense and forces Tampa to play Meadows’ Garbage Glove level defense in LF.

Tampa has been getting good production from the majority of their team however—Zunino has doubled his OPS+ from last year so far and Diaz, Wendle, Meadows, and Arozarena are right where you’d expect them to be in the heart of the order. Adames has been the weak link so far of the every day guys, which is not a place you want to be in when Wander Franco, the consensus top prospect in baseball, is currently crushing the ball in AAA.

Yankees Focus On: Starting Pitchers

Because we’ve faced Tampa twice in the last month already, I figured it’d be a little better to spend more time breaking down our own starters for this series.

First up—Jordan Montgomery: if you want to look at some upside with Gumby, you can point to the fact that he has really battled back from some lousy starts and moments that he just didn’t have it this season. If you want some downside with Gumby, there’s been a lot of those moments. Gumby has a 6.00 ERA in the first inning this season, batters are slashing a very high .364/.417/.871 when leading off an inning, and against non-Orioles teams he’s been a mess:

He’s had miserable platoon splits—lefties are slashing .138/.219/.138 with 10 Ks and 1 BB in 32 PA, but righties are slashing .272/.323/.489 with 18 Ks and 7 BBs in 100 PA. His home/road splits are similar:

Now it’s easy to say “oh it’s been a month, give it some time” with Gumby, and with some of the other pitchers on the team I’d agree, but unfortunately all his career numbers are similar—significantly a different pitcher at home, vs lousy teams, and against lefties than he is on the road, vs winning teams, or against righties. One of the biggest issues he’s running into is that he just really struggles against the best of the best:

It’s hard to trust Gumby when he’s on the mound because of all this—he’s reached 90 pitches in a game just twice in the last two seasons and pitched into the 7th just once (he was pulled after letting the leadoff hitter on in the 7th inning this season against Tampa).

His underlying numbers aren’t that great either—he’s still not walking guys (just a 6.1% BB rate) but he doesn’t get strikeouts and allows a lot of hard contact. Last year he was in the 95th percentile in average exit velocity, this year he’s in the 33rd percentile, mainly because his sinker and his cutter suck.

Those are two pitches with not a lot of movement to them and not a lot of speed to them that are being left in very hittable places for hitters—here’s a zone chart for SLG and xSLG for righties against Gumby:

Not great! He’s leaving those cutters and sinkers all over up in the zone and guys are destroying those pitches.

That being said, the curveball has been elite offerings from him this season: curveball has a .071 SLG and .192 xSLG and is actually his most used pitch at 23.7% of the time (although he does throw a variation of his fastball over 50% of the time.) His change up has gotten good results- right now it has a decent .314 wOBA (although it does have a much higher .440 xWOBA, and if it starts to perform like that then he’s really in trouble.)

At this point I’m not writing Gumby off, he did have a really nice 2017 after all, but he’s now three years removed from Tommy John surgery and the results just have not been there.

In much more positive news, Gerrit Cole is really freaking good at baseball.

Those are his numbers in his Yankee career, and he’s been really worth every penny of the contract so far.

Maybe the most insane thing that Cole’s done this year is put up a 40.2 K% and a 1.8 BB%: the only two SP with a higher difference are Jacob deGrom and Corbin Burnes, who both have roughly a 45% difference between their K rate and BB rate. He’s also drastically cut his HR/FB% down, last year 18.7% of his fly balls left the yard, this year it’s down to 7%. He gave up 14 homers in 73 innings last season, this year he’s given up three in 44.2 innings.

Obviously the big change Cole made this season, as YES mentions every time he steps out on the mound, is that he has embraced the Matt Blake Change Up Factory approach, and to good measure. Last season he threw a change up 5.6% of the time, almost entirely against lefties and to the tune of a .268 wOBA. This year that number is up to 15.1% of the time, it’s used against righties and lefties, and it has a .041 wOBA thanks to one hit against it in 31 PA. His change up is the third best change up in baseball in run value so far this year, only behind John Means and Ian Anderson. He also has the 17th best four seam fastball in run value, and those two pitches play off each other perfectly:

That is excellent tunneling for two pitches with similar movement but a 10mph difference to them—Cole’s change up actually drops significantly less than the average change up and has similar horizontal movement to his four seamer, so it’s really hard to tell the difference in the two pitches. Here’s a pitch chart from his start against Detroit, with four seamers in red and change ups in green:

He’s able to keep the fastballs up in the zone and use his change up as essentially a low fastball, but with a 10mph hitters are just really struggling to identify it and do anything with it.

Starting the final game of the series is Jameson Taillon, who’s really been improving his last couple times out. It’s interesting with Jamo that he’s had Gary behind the plate for every one of his starts so far, and also very interesting in that his expected stats are all significantly better than his actual stats: he’s given up seven homers already this season, but if it was park adjusted he’d be expected to give up five homers. His expected ERA is nearly two runs less than his actual ERA. What he’s running into, and why I am not worried about Jamo long term, is this:

To me that screams “this dude hasn’t pitched in two years and is just building up his stamina” more than anything. He’s also been significantly better with an extra day or two of rest, and between him, Kluber, and Severino once he returns from injury, I can definitely see the Yankees try to get them all extra rest when possible.

His slider has easily been his best pitch on the season—.205 wOBA against (.301 xwOBA) with a high spin rate and sitting at 87mph. He’s used mostly that and his four seamer, which has a lot better expected numbers than actual numbers—xSLG of .430 as opposed to actual SLG of .612. That said, when your chart looks like this, it’s easy to see why his SLG is higher than it should be:

High fastballs are good, but he’s allowing too many high fastballs to be way out of the zone, and they are all really high up. Five of his seven homers are off the 4 seamer, which is totally believable when you look at how his pitches are winding up. A little more time and a little more control can fix that problem however, and I don’t think it’s going to be too long before we see Jamo living up to his potential.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#68 Jessi and the Bad Babysitter: Chapter 10

I think Jessi wins the award for Dumbest Thing Said in a BSC Book Ever in this chapter. You’ll see what I mean.

Jessi gets to the Pikes five minutes early and, sure enough, Wendy isn't there, even after Jessi begged her to show up early the day before. Mallory reassures Jessi that she'll probably be there in a minute (especially considering, you know, Jessi showed up five minutes early), and Jessi explodes, “I specifically asked her to be on time!” Whoa, calm down. You're turning into Kristy! Besides, you're early; if she arrives right after you, she's still on time! Jessi has a warped understanding of how “on time” works.

Mrs. Pike asks Jessi where Wendy is, and Jessi says she has no clue. Jessi tells them to go, Wendy will probably be there soon. Mrs. Pike panics over the thought of Wendy not showing up and decides to sit around for a few extra minutes. Since the Pike kids will all melt into puddles of goo if there aren't two sitters there and it isn't that important to get What's-Her-Name to the doctor right away. She says she can't cancel the appointment though because it was the only available slot when she called last week. What the hell kind of pediatrician do the Pikes use that doesn't take patients on an emergency basis?

And while we're on this tangent, why is it such a huge issue if there isn't a second sitter there? I know, I know, more than 4 kids = 2 sitters. But the Pike kids are drinkers of the BSC Kool-Aid, they're only a handful if the writer wants to show how chaotic/wacky they are, or if they're doing one of their ~projects~ and this one isn't their brainchild. The rest of the time, they practically take care of themselves! And Vanessa and the triplets are 9 and 10. When the series started, Mallory was helping out and she was, oh yeah, 10. And two chapters ago, we got this whole thing about Vanessa being responsible and able to help out with watching the younger kids. What? Already forgotten? And the other Pike kids aren't expected to help out the way Mallory does because she's the family punching bag? Ok.

Jessi finally gets rid of Mrs. Pike and Mallory by promising if Wendy doesn't show up in 15 minutes, she'll call Aunt Cecilia to come over and help. Jessi says she doesn't even like the idea, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Anyway, Mrs. Pike finally takes a hint and leaves with Mallory, anxiously reminding Jessi to do something if Wendy doesn't show up. Geez, calm the hell down, Mrs. Pike! After they get the hell out of there, Jessi does the usual “make the rounds and see what the kids are doing” routine. The boys are playing Nok Hockey downstairs, again the triplets have no problem letting Nicky play with them. And upstairs, Vanessa's doing her homework and Claire's doing a puzzle on the floor. Claire says Margo kicked her out of their bedroom. Jessi heads over to the younger girls' room, wondering why Margo would do that.

Um, let's see. You caught her shoplifting the other day, she was acting secretive and weird last time you sat for her...you don’t think she’s holed up in her room with the ring she stole? Geez, the BSC is not good at putting 2 and 2 together. Especially Claudia.

Jessi knocks on Margo's door and she doesn't answer until Jessi threatens to come inside. Margo opens up and claims she was asleep, though Jessi heard footsteps inside. Jessi wants to talk but Margo says she wants to “sleep” for like another hour and feigns a yawn. Jessi lets her and Margo shuts the door before either of them can say anything else. 

As she walks downstairs, Jessi wonders if Margo's coming down with whatever Mallory has. Are you fucking kidding me? She faked being asleep, when she obviously wasn't. Jessi herself noticed that. Add that in with all the other stuff...she's clearly hiding something and chances are, it involves her shoplifting. Jessi is such a moron in some parts of this book. The real doozie's coming up soon where she says what quite possibly could be the dumbest thing she's ever said.

Hey, whoa! Wendy's 15 minutes are up (in more ways than one), so Jessi calls her house first. Mrs. Loesser answers and says Wendy had a babysitting job after school. Jessi wonders if it's the Pike one or if she forgot about the Pikes and took another one without telling the club (blasphemy!). She asks Mrs. Loesser to call her at the Pikes if she comes back and hangs up. Now what? Things are calm and quiet, so she has half the mind to keep it that way. But Mrs. Pike wanted another sitter there, dammit! And Jessi's in no rush to call Aunt Cecilia, so she goes looking for someone else.

The victim is Mary Anne, who doesn't have a sitting job until 7:30 but was going to spend the afternoon working on a paper. Jessi calls her, begging her to come help out, since Wendy isn't there. Mary Anne says she can't because the paper's due tomorrow and since she's been so busy with the BSC, she's had like no time to work on it. Kristy, when the sitters' academic time is suffering, IT'S TIME TO HIRE NEW SITTERS AND NOT BE AN UNWELCOMING BITCH TO THEM! Bring on the Shillaber twins, we haven't heard from them in ages.

Jessi begs her again and Mary Anne says she will, as long as she stays at the kitchen table to work on her paper and is only called on in an emergency. Uh...doesn't that defeat the purpose of having another sitter if she's going to pretty much be useless?

Mary Anne shows up, armed with four books and a pen behind her ear, explaining that the paper counts for a quarter of her grade. What the hell is she doing taking tons of babysitting jobs if she's got a bigass paper due? Forget this whole “Seven sitters is ENOUGH!” crap, hire more people and keep them! Even if they are normies. And geez, Mary Anne, no Kid-Kit? You're slacking!

Well, not long after she arrives, there's a knock at the door. It's Wendy! Jessi demands to know where she's been. Oh no...she is turning into Kristy!

Wendy starts to say something, then notices Mary Anne's there and stops herself. Mary Anne asks if everything's ok and Wendy tells her she had something to do at school that went long, and she knew Jessi would be at the Pikes, so she thought it wasn't a big deal. Nice save. Jessi reminds Wendy that Mrs. Pike asked for two sitters, since her three next-eldest are unable to babysit, being that they're a year younger and oh-so-immature. Wendy responds, “I knew you'd get here on time!” and smiles but Mary Anne and Jessi are not amused. 

With Wendy there, Mary Anne gets out of there faster than Claudia in a library and that's the last we hear from her on this...or is it?

After Mary Anne leaves, Wendy confesses to Jessi that she really didn't have anything at school. Well, then where was she? Just like her mom said, Wendy was at a babysitting job. Her neighbor that she usually sits for grabbed her that morning in an emergency to ask if she could watch her baby after school. Wendy said she couldn't say no to her and took it knowing the Pike kids wouldn't be left alone since Jessi was there. Strike 3 and strike 4! Wendy is going to meet her doom at the next BSC meeting...it was nice knowing you, peripheral character!

Jessi freaks out and tells Wendy that she wasn't allowed to do that! Kristy told her so! Yeah! You can't babysit for anyone unless the BSC approves it! Ok...I know Wendy was irresponsible in not calling up Jessi and telling her that she was going to be late. Not to mention she didn’t bother telling Jessi about this at school before they left for their babysitting jobs. Really not smart. But Wendy's faux pas is overshadowed by Jessi here. Seriously, this is like the stupidest shit she ever said in the series. I'm including it in its entirety for posterity:

“Nobody else knows this baby,” Wendy insisted. “She won't go to just anybody.” (OH SHIT! She just dissed the BSC!) “Besides, Mrs. Behar only asked me this morning as I was leaving for school. What was I supposed to do?” “Well, I'm not exactly sure,” I admitted. “I guess you should have told her no, or given her the number of our club.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? God, it's taking all my will power to not hurl this book against the wall. Where is the logic in that? Neighbor asks for babysitter in emergency, usual sitter says no because the BSC won't let her take jobs without everyone else's approval. Did Jessi seriously expect her to say, “I'm sorry. I'm in this babysitting club now and I can no longer sit for you on my own. Here's the number, you must call on these days only and at these times only. I know you don't know everyone else but that's what I'm supposed to do now. Hail Kristy!” This makes absolutely no sense. And despite all this, we're supposed to side with the BSC and look at Wendy as the bad girl.

And you seriously can't tell me that, like, Mrs. Newton (who, in the words of another snarker, can't go to the bathroom without calling the BSC) has never called Claudia on a Tuesday morning to ask her to watch the kids in the afternoon because a family emergency or something came up? That's such a stupid rule and I don't remember the BSC ever making a huge deal out of it before. Plot device!

Wendy gives Jessi the same response I just did, only in a lot nicer terms, of course. Jessi's response? “If all of us took our own private jobs we wouldn't have any club customers.”

Good lord, IT WAS AN EMERGENCY!!!! Of course they don't all take their own private jobs all the time, but in an emergency situation, why not? I'd rather take the job than turn it down over a stupid rule and make the club look unreliable. Hear that, Kristy?

Before they can keep arguing, the sound of another fight interrupts them. They run downstairs to find Jordan accusing Adam of cheating at Nok-Hockey. Wendy breaks up the fight and suggests they do a rematch, with her as referee. Since the BSC charges always obey their sitters, the boys agree. Argument averted. Jessi goes upstairs to do her homework (with essentially only one babysitter on duty. How is that different from having one sitter?) and thinks to herself how good Wendy is with kids. Doesn't say she's a good babysitter...good babysitters don't defy the BSC I guess.

An hour goes by and Jessi realizes she didn't talk to Margo. Whoops! She goes upstairs but just as she does, Mallory and Mrs. Pike come home. Dammit Mallory! You ruin everything! Turns out Mallory's ok...the doctor thinks she's riding out a virus and is rundown. Oh, and she also might be anemic, so she has pills for that and they did blood work. The results aren't back yet but I'm sure they're back in time for the next book, when they discover she has mono.

Jessi's relieved and I guess it sucks for Mallory, because now everyone can give her more shit than usual and not have to worry about the whole “she's sick!” thing. Everyone hates Mallory. Jessi wonders if she should tell Mallory about Margo and Wendy but stays quiet. For the time being at least. And don't worry about Wendy, everyone in the BSC will be finding out about that soon.

[robotsandzombiesarebi]

Looking at the same sky

HSS (CA)

MC (Bailey Westlake)

MC x Skye

Notes: This is my first attempt at a choices fanfic so I hope I can do some justice. This is going to be a few instalments long so bear with it. Hope you enjoy.

————————

Bailey wiped the sweat from her brow as she rushed from table to table, trying to clear with one hand and jot down orders with the other. The Golden Griddle was swarmed with people as it usually was on a Friday evening. Cedar Cove was a nice town, but there wasn’t much of a dating scene which left young couples with the choice of the arcade, the beach or the Golden Griddle. While balancing a small stack of dishes on her bent elbow, Bailey held the note pad and pen, turning to the next table without taking her concentration off of the precariously balanced stack. 

“Welcome to the Golden Griddle” She said, breathlessly. “What can I get you?”

“A black coffee…. and a kiss.” Said the soft voice that Bailey could only just notice.

“OK, that’ll be out for you in just a sec.” With that, she rushed to the window that joined the kitchen to the dining room. “Hey Casey. We need 3 Apple pie slices for table six, franks and eggs for table two and a black coffee and a kiss for table five. I’ll get the coffee if you pass out the rest.”

She ran the tap that poured out piping hot water, quickly nudging a cup in to the stream. After stirring in the coffee and setting it on a dish with a few small sugar packets she called back to Casey. “How are those orders coming?”

“Here’s table two and six.” Casey chuckled as he passed the plates through the opening.

“What about table five?”

“Bailey, read the order.”

“I did! Black coffee, which I’ve done, and a…” She stopped short, looking slowly up at the table across the diner where she saw the familiar shine of deep red waves spilling over the matching stripes of a tight top.

There sat Skye Crandall, trying her best not to burst with laughter at Bailey’s obliviousness. Bailey turned and scowled at Casey for not correcting her sooner. She quickly tore open the sugar packets, emptying six into the dark drink before rushing it over to the table where her girlfriend sat.

“Hi…” Bailey said with a tired smile.

“Hey yourself. Sorry about the order, I just know how you get in to work and couldn’t resist messing with you a little.” Skye smirked.

“It’s fine. I should have recognised your voice.” Bailey laughed, setting the coffee in front of Skye. “I already poured your ridiculous amount of sugar. Why do you have so much anyway?”

“The coffee here is really bitter. My mom always buys this almond infused stuff so I don’t have as much at home. What time do you finish?”

“Maybe another hour or so. Why? Are you going to whisk me away?”

“Um, no? But I wondered if you wanted to walk me home. But only if you want to. No obligation or anything.” Skye stammered.

“I’d love to, as long as you don’t mind waiting. Where have you been?”

“Nowhere, just thought I’d come see you at work. Is that weird?”

“Wait. You came all this way to see me for a hot minute at work and you’re worried I’ll say no to walking you home?”

“Urgh, I knew this weird. I’ll just leave.”

“NO!… I mean, no, stay. I’ll finish up as quickly as I can, then I’m all yours.”

Skye laughed. The faint embarrassed blush creeping away from her cheeks. “All mine?”

“All yours.” Bailey said with a salute as she walked backwards to get back to work. As she turned, she collided with a large frame, knocking herself to the floor while the person she bumped into stood firm.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.” She squeaked as she scrambled to her feet. Looking up she saw the person she had crashed into was Jordan Daniels (JD). The most popular girl in school, captain of the football team and victim of the leg breaking incident of Bailey’s first day at Berry. “Oh, JD. Sorry!”

“You said that already” She laughed, straightening her clothes. “Its fine, no harm done. Are you OK?”

“Yeah. Yes, I’m good. Just overworked.”

“Yeah…” JD said as she glanced around the diner. “Its usually pretty quiet in here. Serves me right for craving your dad’s chilli-cheese dogs on a Friday, huh.”

“Yep. It’s like…”

“BAILEY!” A stern voice interrupted. “Come on, there’s people waiting.” Came her dad’s voice from the kitchen.

“Sorry! Can you start a chilli-cheese dog please?”

“Oh, and a double strawberry shake and fries?” JD called out to Bailey’s dad, doing her best Bailey impression; laughing when he failed to notice, also buried under his workload. “We’ll be in the corner booth, Bailey.” She smiled, making her way over to the beautiful blonde sitting across the diner.

Bailey continued her work, clearing table after table and waving goodbye to customers as the diner slowly started to clear out. When just a few patrons remained, she caught her dad’s eye and gave him a pleading look, motioning towards Skye. He gave a stiff nod, and barely hid the sorrowful look on his face as he turned back to finish clearing down the kitchen. 

“Time to go” Bailey said with a grin as she put out a hand for Skye to take. “Sorry you had to wait. I hate Friday shifts.” 

“its OK, really. i wasn’t expecting you to just drop your work for me.”

“But, you know i definitely would if i could. I’d give anything for more time with you.” at that, Skye looked taken aback.

“You really mean that don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“I do.” Bailey laced her fingers through Skye’s as they walked together. “And i always will.” The two of them walked closely through the town in time to see the lights of the stores and other restaurants shutting off. The night was quiet aside from the occasional rumble of a motorcycle passing somewhere close by. They walked in silence for most of their journey. This was a usual thing. Skye wasn’t much of a talker at the best of times and Bailey was glad to enjoy the peace after the rush of the diner. Another usual thing that occurred was, the closer they got to Skye’s family home, the more she would start striking up things to talk about. Bailey could easily recognise what was happening. Skye would try to keep her talking for as long as possible to buy herself valuable minutes before re-entering the house and switching her attention from the one person who brought her serenity to those who gave her nothing but stress and anxiety. 

Midway through Skye talking about a new movie they should go and see, (not even one she would usually be interested in, but that was irrelevant right now), Bailey cut her off.

“Hey, so tell me if this is too forward, but…” She blushed furiously, earning herself a half smirk from the darkened lips of the beautiful girl before her. “…Did you want me to ask my parents if you can stay over tonight?”

Now it was Skye’s turn to blush. Her face heated at the mild implication and her breath caught in her throat. “Um, yeah… Yeah, that sounds, nice.”

Without wasting another second, Bailey called her mom and had to focus to stop herself from bouncing on the spot with nervous energy.

“Hello?” Her Mom answered.

“Mom…..” Bailey dragged the word out, tryng to soften the blow of what she was about to ask. “Skye and i were wondering….”

“Are you about to ask me if she can stay over for the night?” Her voice had a slight teasing tone which sounded positive to Bailey.

“Yes. But!… I’ll keep my door open a crack and we’ll just be watching movies and its not like she never stayed over before, but this time there’s no one else to worry about. Also, i’ll walk Biscuit every day for the next month, even the days that Casey owes me and you definitely let Erin stay over super late for Casey and i am technically the older sibling…”

“Bailey!” her mom’s voice rang through so loud that the phone was almost unnecessary. “Thank you for being mature enough to ask me, and you do make a very convincing argument. But i’m afraid tonight just wont do sweetie”

“oh… OK. but, why not?” She asked, sounding as though the breath had been pulled from her body along with every ounce of her excitement.

“Your Dad and I need to talk to you and your brother. Don’t worry, the discussion is not off the table. We’ll talk about it very soon OK?”

“Yeah, OK Mom. i’ll head home now.” They said their “I love you”s and hung up. Bailey turned back to Skye who had a look of grim acceptance on her face, her eyes flicking repeatedly over to the lit-up window of the living room of her house. More-so, the shadows that kept passing it. “I’m sorry Skye” 

“It’s OK. At least i always know i have you near, and if i need you, you’ll come rescue me, right?” 

“Always” Bailey smiled 

“Then there’s nothing for me to worry about, right?”

“Right!” Bailey pulled Skye by their still linked hands in to a tight embrace. it was never going to be long until they saw each other again, but the moments in between haunted Bailey. Knowing what the Crandalls were like was bad enough, but what truly haunted her were the things she was sure Skye didn’t tell her. 

“Get home safe, OK?” Skye whispered against the tender skin of Bailey’s neck.

“You be safe too.” She said concernedly 

“Duh, i live right there…” Skye smirked, pointing to the house a few feet from them. Bailey smiled back but was sure that Skye knew what she meant and was just covering up her own worry. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” She waved as she walked out of the yard and on to the streets. “I love you.”

At that they both stopped, still getting used to the three words passing beautifully between them. 

“I love you too.” Skye smiled earnestly before opening the front door and disappearing inside.

The walk home wasn’t far from Skye’s house and though it wasn’t cold out, Bailey could feel the chill on her hand and up her arm, in all the places that Skye had been making contact on their walk together. Seeing her house come in to view, her mind began to wander. Thoughts of how different things could have been tonight, if Skye had been allowed to stay with her. First came exhilaration of the possibilities of having her first serious girlfriend to herself all night, and the things that they had talked about up until now, maybe, finally happening for real instead of just fantasies. Exhilaration gave way to worry when she thought of where the girl she loved was instead. In a pit of vipers that hiss as venomously as they bite, and her alone to face them.

Forcing herself to push the negative thoughts aside, promising silently that she would text Skye as soon as she was in her room to check in, she opened the door to her home. What she saw inside was curious. Both of her parents looking extremely guilty, and Casey just looking confused.

“Whats going on?” she asked, looking from one member of her family to another.

“Bailey, come and sit down. You need to hear this.” Her mom said calmly. Bailey made her way to the dining table where they were sat, trying to figure out the unfamiliar look on her twins face. “The thing is honey…”

Before she had a chance to finish her thought, Casey stood abruptly up, knocking his chair over with the force. “They’re making us move, Bailey! Regardless of our friends, our relationships, our school!”

She was sure she could still faintly hear Casey yelling, but her ears rushed and her head span. Fighting past the feeling of sawdust in her mouth, Bailey only managed two words before the tears pricking at her eyes threatened to spill.

“But…No….

To be continued.

[seven-oomen]

Since you’ve been posting candid type pics/story ideas, this is one I found that I had almost used for one of the moodboards, because I was like “hey, group of the adults”, but it has Susan in it, and I wasn’t sure if you had plans to bring Natalie into the story or not, so I skipped it.  But it’s adorable and worth sharing, anyway.

And your explanations for Jackson and Ben are entirely sensible and logical, but I still like my theory. XD  I also look forward to meeting whatever future spawn you decide on for the boys.  I can’t decide if it would be more entertaining for Noah’s mini-me to also be a druid or turn out to be a wolf.  Speaking of twins, a friend’s 10yr old daughter said recently “if I had a twin that was five minutes younger than me, I’d tell them ‘When I was your age’ and then describe what I was doing five minutes, ago”, and I can’t figure out if it sounds more like Allison or Malia, but it definitely sounds like one of them.

Apples to Apples is basically like a more kid-friendly version of CAH, unless you are playing with people like my friends, who can find a way to make anything deeply wrong and vaguely offensive if they wish.  And also I feel like there are many incidents of Stiles and Jax getting stupidly heated while playing Candy Land with their little siblings, to the point where they end up banned from joining in.

I adore the idea of clothes sharing (hence me being so determined to find images of them in what I could pretend was the same black button down for the family moodboard.)  And I feel Chris and Peter would have vastly different ideas about what constitutes “too tight” than Noah and would occasionally try to get him to wear some of their shirts anyway, for their own enjoyment.  (The olive green hoodie Peter is wearing in the ep where he and Derek hire Braeden seems very his style, for example.)  I don’t think either of the other two are quite brave enough to try Peter’s “v-neck cardigan worn like it’s a normal shirt” look, though. XD  All of which also begs the question of whether they do it for…other reasons, too.  Like if Noah is ever stuck in an endless budget meeting only to suddenly get a text from the other two of them wearing some of his spare uniform shirts and very little else.  Or if Peter ever comes home to find his Omegas each wearing one of his leather jackets  (because you know he’s got several) and their triskelion necklaces, and suddenly he’s getting “we missed you, Alpha” crooned in both ears simultaneously in a gravelly whisper, and wow I’m getting way off topic here…  Anyway, yes to clothes sharing, is what I’m saying.  (Also, the pen thing is golden.  Just imagine the looks on people’s faces.)

And I like the new preview, am super happy to see Jordan.  I can’t wait to see how he fits into things and helps with everything.  I don’t think I’ve ever really seen an a/b/o that tackled how nb identities would fit into that sort of society, so I’m excited to see it explored.  Also he always tends to come across as pretty calm and easy-going, and lord knows they could use a few people like that right now.

Hope you’re feeling better, and that Mo has calmed some.  I know just how much the pressure changes from storm systems can mess with someone, especially if you were already not feeling the best.

I’ve honestly just been smiling at this the whole day and I managed to write 3.3K to the draft because of this message and the new review by @ready-to-kick-some-ass. 

Right now the chapter has almost 8K on it and I will probably try and get it to 10-12K.

I’m not sure if I’ll add Natalie and if I can naturally fit her into the story. But I definitely know she was a part of the friend group in this universe, so that picture is just really fitting. It’s so sweet <3.

As for the twins, I’ll let you have your headcanons. But I’m not gonna tell too much. It’s fun watching you speculate ^^.

Speaking of twins, a friend’s 10yr old daughter said recently “if I had a twin that was five minutes younger than me, I’d tell them ‘When I was your age’ and then describe what I was doing five minutes, ago”, and I can’t figure out if it sounds more like Allison or Malia, but it definitely sounds like one of them.

Both of them. Either of them. Malia or Allison would absolutely do this to Jax and Stiles. They’re both about 20 minutes older than their younger siblings, so they would definitely describe something they’ve done 20 min ago just to piss the boys off.

And my god would they be banned. I feel like Chris just listens to them screaming for twenty minutes until he finally has enough of all this bullshit and just bans them from playing that game ever again. Malia is quickly banned thereafter when she gets heated over having to move backward and loses to Ben and the youngest twins. Allison and Lydia take over playing the game with the kids.

And you know they would. Chris has quickly figured out that he can get either of them home within ten minutes if he sends them a risque picture of him just wearing a toolbelt with his hunter gear on it. He’s not wearing anything else, just the toolbelt with the guns and bow and the triskelion necklace. But it works just fine. (The weapons are positioned in just such a way that he’s not actually revealing any of the goods, but he’s also not wearing any clothes. So.. yeah)

Chris and Peter would send Noah pictures of them wearing his uniform shirts while he’s in budgeting meetings or performance reviews or whatnot. Especially during the months when they’re actively trying to expand the family, things would crank up to 100 with these boys. But even when they’re not, they love to get each other riled up with sexy pictures.

And I feel Chris and Peter would have vastly different ideas about what constitutes “too tight” than Noah and would occasionally try to get him to wear some of their shirts anyway, for their own enjoyment.  (The olive green hoodie Peter is wearing in the ep where he and Derek hire Braeden seems very his style, for example.)  I don’t think either of the other two are quite brave enough to try Peter’s “v-neck cardigan worn like it’s a normal shirt” look, though. XD

Fair point, they absolutely would try and get him to wear their shirts. Because let’s be real, he’d look absolutely smoking in a tight shirt or a tight-fitting hoodie. And seeing Noah in their shirts just does something to Peter and Chris. It’s a matter of staking their claim on their sheriff.

And I think nobody can wear those v-necks but Peter. Chris lovingly refers to them as the porno shirts. Because honestly, only Peter or a porn star could get away with a shirt cut that low.

They certainly need a calm mind right now, and I really wanted to add a trans* NB character who’s also on the aro/ace spectrum and somehow that just clicked for Jordan. I don’t know why. But I really want to explore a society where there are two ‘main sexes’ (both with two variations male and female) and then add someone who doesn’t identify with any of them. And yet said person is probably the most level headed and calm of them all, so to speak. I’m excited to add Jordan to the cast list and explore his identity.

Mo and I are doing okay today, he’s been really clingy after the thunderstorm but it’s slowly getting back to his usual behavior. I reckon he’ll be fine by tomorrow.

[creativityworks-sx]

5 of the Best Alternative UK Rap Albums of 2019 by Dwayne Wilks

With us all home-bound for the foreseeable future, there’s no better time than now to catch up on the music, film and television that might have passed us by in recent times. When it comes to rap in all its forms, the UK took it to new levels in 2019. Dave delivered a seminal album early in the year. Headie One might have established himself as the star of the drill scene with Music x Road. Through Kano and Wretch we saw the scene’s OGs continue to push themselves and cover unchartered territory (can we also acknowledge the crazy feature run Ghetts has been on). Amidst all the heat and the D-Block Europe clones that 2019 has provided us with though, a lot of sick projects from established artists didn’t get the shine they deserved. Here are 5 of the best that fall within that category: 

Blood, Swvgg, Tears/Youngs Teflon

For the past 10 years Youngs has consistenly delivered quality UK rap. Now a veteran, Blood, Swvgg, and Tears sees Tef’ continue with gritty tales of the trap and the South London streets, while sounding hungrier than a lot of the scene’s newcomers. The sample driven Aaliyah and the conceptual Broken Safety exhibit Young’s vintage storytelling abilty, the latter inspired by his favourite rapper, Nas’ classic track I Gave You Power. Being a decade deep in the game, Teflon, (aka ‘Jimmy’) has sharpened his pen to the point that almost every bar comes packaged with a punchline and those punchlines don’t (often) miss. Couple his wordplay with the overall sonics of the project; hard-hitting drilly beats that align the album with the current sound of the scene, and Blood, Swvgg and Tears establishes Jimmy as a stalwart of UK hiphop. That’s if he wasn’t one already. The best thing is, it looks like he’s still getting better. 

(Best Tracks: 3AM In Brixton, Clout, Rehab, Survivor Stories Pt.2)

Kojey Radical/Cashmere Tears

Cashmere Tears gifts us with Kojey’s usual intricate and poetic flows, introspective content and performative delivery. As he has been for some years now, he gives us finely crafted bars about steeped in introspection, but this time they are delivered over warm sultry basslines and endorphin-inducing horns. On Can’t Go Back, producer Swindle’s joy-filled funk is married with Kojey’s lyrics celebrating his re-emergence from a dark mental space. This is the formula that carries much of the project; candid, vulnerable bars atop infectious instrumentation. When it comes to levels of funk, the album resides high up in the stratosphere. I’m not sure there’s a rapper in the UK that’s as comfortable up at those dizzying heights. Don’t believe me? Do yourself a favour and listen to Kojey glide over the album’s title track Cashmere Tears.

The warm basslines and brass sections are repurposed later in the album, matching the more sombre topics Kojey tackles. Case in point being the track Eleven which sees Kojey grieve the death of his close friend. The vulnerability showed on songs like this and the choir assisted closer Last Night has an endearing effect on you as you listen; you can’t help but appreciate the raw honesty in the act of exposing your lowest moments. Cashmere Tears is an example of how music can offer a view into an artist’s conscience and psyche. When it comes to pushing the boundaries of the UK music scene Kojey Radical is at the forefront, his workload far outweighing his acclaim. 

(Best Tracks: Cashmere Tears, Eleven, Feel About It)

Money Over Everyone/P Money

P Money has never made the most humble music. Moretime he’s spitting bars soaked in arrogance over grime instrumentals, and it’s this arrogance that makes Money Over Everyone 3 so hard. P Money revels in his longstanding refusal to comprimise from the grime genre, taking every opportunity to tell everyone that doubted his and grime’s staying power, “hate to tell you ‘I told you so’… but I told you so”. Countless times on M.O.E.3 P Money shamelessly champions his own integrity, like his boasts about touring Australia for the fourth time on Shh Hut Yuh Mout which has JME repeat one of his classic refrains all over the hook. There is a deliberate attempt to align himself with JME who is featured and name dropped at several points on the album and P is fully deserving of the type of recognition that the BBK legend recieves, especially after an album like this. Amidst all the boasy talk, M.O.E.3 does have its more reflective moments; Live This Twice has P show that he doesn’t at all take his success for granted and on That’s Air Manga St Hilare assists in explaining the mindset of the kids on road that have nothing to lose and move accordingly. 

(Standout Tracks: Where & When, About Grinding, Live This Twice)

Little Simz has recieved a lot of praise this year, mainly for starring in the latest season of Top Boy on Netflix. While she’s fully deserving of the acclaim for her acting, her muscial endeavours might have gone slightly under the radar. Grey Area is Simz’s best work yet; at times vulnerable and at times aggressive, at times sombre but always honest. The raw drum break and distorted bassline underpins Simbi’s boasy, hostile tone in the opener Offence. Within no time it’s clear: Little Simz can rap. So as impressive as these aggresive moments are, it’s elsewhere on the project that Simz really shines. 

There’s a dope moment of nostalgia on the song 101FM; nostalgia both in the sonics and sentiment of the track. From this, the mid-way point of the album, Simz gets into her personal bag. On Therapy she opens up about attending therapy sessions to cope with the burdens of fame and relationships, but unexpectedly declares the practice of therapy ineffective and unhelpful. Unexpected because the next track, Sherbet Sunset, is a rambling confession of the pain of a broken heart. Lines like “ Still it hurts tremendously, can’t bear the intensity”, “ Lost part of myself, and I can’t get her back”, “ Who am I? I’m a mess, more sinning, more spending” paint a picture of someone in dire need of therapy. It seems though that Little Simz’ prefers to heal through her music, putting her pain in her lyrics provides all the catharsis she needs. And long as it works for, I’m here for it. The blessings and burdens of fame, the contrast of her introversion and her intensity, it all makes for Little Simz’ Grey Area.  

(Standout Tracks: Selfish, 101 FM, Pressure)

Not Waving But Drowning/Loyle Carner

Not Waving But Drowning feels longer than its 45 minute run time. The record’s generally slow-tempo and Carner’s easy flow don’t make for the most thrilling of listens. Carner’s effortless delivery might even be enough to send the more passive listener to sleep. Animated and energetic it is not, but Carner’s magic is found in his deeply personal lyrics, full of feeling. In his patented fluid rhyme style, he tells of a train journey that spurs thoughts of a future family in Ottolenghi, the track made all the more touching by tenderness of Jordan Rakei’s singing on the hook. There are a host of touching moments on the album like the song Desoleil (Brilliant Corners) which features elusive UK singer Sampha and is a perfect fit for the vocalist, with its ballad-like pace and fleeting drums that hide in the back of the track, allowing the piano riff to lead.

The personal, touching moments continue with songs like Loose Ends (for which Jorja Smith lends her vocals) and Krispy, an attempt to amend a failed friendship. Maybe the most intimate moment is Looking Back where Carner explains his feelings of being lost because of being mixed race. This song isn’t the contrived and corny stuff we hear from some (*looks in the direction of Logic*), but is as earnest as it is honest, exemplified by the hard-hiting line “I’m thinking that my great grandfather could’ve owned my other one/ And yo, that shit is weird”. Despite the reminiscing on times less certain and existential struggles of Not Waving But Drowning, the album doesn’t feel negative or depressive. Even though much of the instrumentation is melancholy in feel, much is also pretty feel-good. There is a lot of optimism about the future and there is a lot of talk of love, whether it’s directed towards his friends, family or partner. Loyle Carner probes around in his own feelings in this project and invites us to join the search.

(Standout Tracks: Ice Water, Ottolenghi, Desoleil (Brilliant Corners), Looking Back)

Written by Dwayne Wilks

[prorevenge]

Got my boss arrested for possessing child porn also resulted in CEO arrested for embezzlement.

I apologize for the long-windedness of this story. I'm not a writer, so I am just writing from memory and it got a bit longer than I had originally anticipated.

Almost 2 decades ago, I worked in the magazine publishing industry as an advertising and marketing manager. What this meant is that I sold advertising spaces in our line of various publications. You know those fancy clothing ads or product ads in between articles? Yeah those. And when you're good at it, you can make embarrassingly large stacks of cash. I was about 20 years old, making a very healthy $150K/year. So I thought I nailed a dream job.

My director, on the surface, seemed like the most awesome boss. He was charismatic, he knew how to lead. He was a retired Marine and was incredibly good at motivating his subordinates. He was friends with the actual Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, and had him come in to our company to teach us how to close sales. And yes, I know how to "sell you this pen."

My director, we'll call him D, was in actuality one of the shadiest people I've ever met and his over confidence in his skills led to not only his downfall but also led to a huge scandal in the company resulting in multiple investigations including his arrest and the CEO's arrest on different charges.

I won't get into the backstory of how I started there or how I rose up the ranks under D. All you need to know is that he took me under his wing to train me as his protégé. D was known in the company to create advertising initiatives that would be insanely profitable. He would then move one of his subordinates into managerial role on that project so he would move on to the next initiative. What most people didn't realize was that his initiatives were only sustainable for maybe 2 to 3 years before they would start losing money. But because D was such a prominent figure in the company, the manager who took over the project would take the blame for it, citing "lack of proper management skills." So D was largely untouchable and never took the blame.

D put me in charge of one of those initiatives. But instead of losing money, I was able to sustain it for more than 7 years. This gave me a staff of 200 additional sales reps to oversee. I was also the supervisor, the graphic designer, IT, HR, and I had my own accounts to manage as well so I was working from 6am to 11pm 6 days a week. Not including my commute of 1 hour each direction in Los Angeles traffic. I knew I was working myself into an early grave.

One of the things I always thought was weird about how D managed his subordinates was that he required everyone to provide him with their PC login and password. Keep in mind this was the early 2000's and our IT was barely able to build a corporate network so this was our best way to monitor what people did on their PC's (or so I was told).

It turns out, after hours, D would log on to their PC's and would not just go through their company emails (it was against company policy to use Outlook for any non-company related communication. And this was audited by D weekly). He would also look through people's browsing history. He would set everyone's browsers to automatically save any passwords entered, so he'd read their browser emails (Yahoo, Gmail, etc.). His justification was that he was looking for any evidence of corporate espionage or violations of proprietary information.

One of the most irritating was that he required everyone to save their company Outlook .PST files (where emails are stored) to his network drive. This allowed him to monitor people's company emails from his own computer.

So when our team got so big, we had to hire our own accounting team. Because they fell under D's jurisdiction, he had access to their PST files as well (but our accounting team didn't know this). This allowed him to monitor a lot of financial communication between our parent company, and also predict where budgetary changes were being made.

D would use this to maximize how he strategized his next project initiatives. He clandestinely knew where the money was going to be before anyone else so he had time to come up with plans on how to get a bigger chunk of that cash. On the outside, his ability to do this seemed almost preternatural. But all he was doing was just reading confidential emails without anyone knowing. All accounting information was kept confidential just within the finance team, so they didn't know D was readily accessing this information. Like I said, our IT team was barely conscious.

D decided he wanted to take a 2 week vacation and left me in charge of monitoring duties. He showed me where the PST files were. Internally, I was utterly aghast at how much he was looking at our personal communications. But, I was young, naïve, and making a salary that most 20-somethings could only dream of so I thought this was normal corporate operations.

During D's vacation, one of our reps dropped a cigarette down a plastic drain pipe outside the office. Turns out he'd been doing that for weeks and the back up of cigarette butts eventually caught fire and it set off the smoke alarm in the building. We were forced to evacuate and close up shop for the day. Because I could work remotely, I copied all the PST's to my laptop and headed home. That's when I discovered something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

In my haste to copy the PST files, I inadvertently copied D's to my computer as well. Out of morbid curiosity, I figured what the hell, why not? So I started looking through his emails. At first, I found emails to another director, where he was disclosing how he was able to 'go where the money is.' Turns out, another director in another branch was also doing the same thing and they were joking about how they were able to make so much money and set up the manager they left behind to fail. They talked about how they would share this financial information with advertisers, other publishing firms, etc. to put themselves in strategically advantageous positions for prime accounts. In a nutshell, what they were doing was sharing corporate information without tacit approval from the legal team. I saw junior associates get taken to court over this.

I also saw emails from several female colleagues who were mysteriously "removed" from the company. Turns out, D had 9 sexual harassment claims against him from these female colleagues. But because he was so profitable to the company, the CEO turned a blind eye, settled them out of court and then moved D to a different team to avoid any negative perceptions. Many of these emails between D and these female colleagues was very explicit, and it was very clear his advances were unwanted. Lots of dick pics, lots of pics of D and his wife engaged in sexual activities hoping the female colleague would want to join in, etc.

D also had a folder called "New Accounts". By this point, my image of D was shattered. The guy I thought was a great mentor was just a sleazebag. So I looked into that folder, and found a massive collection of some of the most explicit child porn. My mind will be forever haunted by the filth that I found there. Even just thinking about it now makes me want to cry for the lost innocence of those poor children. So I wanted to sink this guy.

My thought process was this: If I straight up reported the CP, it would be obvious where the reporting came from since I was the only one who had access to his PST file. I didn't want to have a vindictive angry Marine breathing down my neck. So instead, I reported the accounting irregularities through our anonymous company hotline. This would trigger an immediate investigation which includes a thorough audit of a person's computer. Even though D had his laptop with him on his vacation, his desktop computer was still very much online at the office.

Accounting and legal took the investigation insanely seriously. Things moved so fast that I got a call from D the next day with a request. "I need you to write up two notes. One note says 'This is my two week notice.' and the second note says 'I tender my resignation effective immediately.' If the CEO asks about me, hand him which ever note you think is best."

He wanted to resign and collect a severance before the investigation concluded, knowing that the company would have to call the police when they found his CP stash. If he resigned before the investigation finished, chances are the company would just sweep it under the rug since the "problem is now gone." I never handed the note to the CEO. And the police were called. D was arrested. His wife was also arrested. His daughter, which turns out, was one of the kids in the stash, was taken in by another family member who completely cut themselves off from D.

An added bonus to this was that the subsequent accounting investigation led to a discovery. Turns out the CEO filed bankruptcy for one of the magazines to secure additional $15 million in funding. But instead of applying that money to the failing magazine, he pocketed $12 million of it and spent it on lavish homes in other countries. This led to the CEO also being arrested as well.

I left the company shortly after, realizing that the entire place was a toxic shithole of backstabbing and the kind of behavior that went on was actually the norm at this place.

Last I heard, D was still in jail, the CEO was penniless, and the entire company was sold off to another parent company because it had gotten so toxic to be associated with it.

TLDR: Boss did some shady accounting stuff and I discovered he had CP on his computer. Accounting stuff was reported and police got involved to arrest my boss. Further accounting anomalies led to discovering CEO was also doing shady stuff with money and he was arrested as well.

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Addendum: Hey all, I've been reading some of the comments and thought I would add some additional insight and thoughts behind my post.

Yes this story is factual. While the identities of the company and those involved will remain private, for those who have worked in high pressure sales environments will know that people like D are not a rarity. It's the nature of the type of people that get hired for those kinds of roles. If you've ever seen the Wolf of Wall St, you'll know the kind of people that were hired at this publishing firm.

Yes I was making that much in my 20's. I had been in magazine publishing since my mid teens. In the 90s I started my own print publication in the whole import automotive racing scene. It started small, but did gain some notoriety in street racing circles and help caught the attention of some very worthy advertisers. Being bilingual in Japanese and English, this allowed me to expand my magazine's advertising reach overseas to Japan where the street racing scene was in full swing. I learned very early on how to do advertising, marketing, sales, and publishing. However, once that scene started dying down the magazine lost its appeal so I took a lot of my advertising accounts with me to the publishing firm where the above story took place. Many advertisers are loyal to the sales rep and not the client.

The event of the story took place around 2008. While I had a team of 200 sales reps under me, most of their PST files were relatively small since most of their work was via phone sales. This company was incredibly old fashioned with tech. Like I said, I was the graphic designer. I knew how to use Photoshop, InDesign, etc. from my old magazine but I would never actually consider myself to be a professional graphic designer by trade as it was all self taught and very limited. I just knew how to make things "camera ready" (this means high enough resolution for print...300 dpi). Because I did a lot of graphic design work, I was given a pretty high end laptop for the period. The hard drive alone was 640GB (it was two 320GB drives in RAID0 array).

Evacuation of the office. Perhaps this was strongly assumed to be an immediate emergency evacuation. We sent everyone home while management assessed what the cause was with the fire department. That is what I meant by closing up shop. So it did give me ample time to copy over the PSTs knowing that I'd be working from home later that afternoon.

To whose who say they would happily work those hours for that kind of pay. I used to think the same thing, which is why I took the job. My base pay was $60K plus commission. And I made a lot of commission and I never missed a sales goal. I also made commission of my teams. Those 200 people were divided up into various sub-teams for each magazine we published. I earned commissions of their total sales as well on top of a monthly sales commission bonus for goals reached. Keep in mind this was just before the housing crash in 2008. People were spending money like it would never end. And our company raked it in. But here's the rub...I was so perpetually stressed. My girlfriend at the time, she was a sales rep on a different team, would cry in the car on our way in to work every day. I worked 6 days a week. I would be so stressed that my Saturday nights were spent in isolation on my computer playing video games. I wouldn't sleep until the sun came up on Sunday, then I would sleep all through Sunday until Monday morning. I was subsisting on 4 to 5 hours of sleep per day during the week. It took an incredible toll on my body. Many of my reps were coke addicts and we turned a blind eye to it because it helped them dial faster and sell more. Some of the managers would staff sales reps from temp agencies asking for people specifically who came out of rehab, knowing they'd relapse at this place where we'd either fire them for performance issues and not pay the staffing agency their hiring fees or they'd be so coked out they'd make a killing in sales.

To my shame, I never reported the CP. I had this image of corporate lawyers coming after me and fighting this never ending legal battle of trying to maintain my innocence. I was young, naive, and didn't know what options I had. That is why I went with the accounting route through the anonymous company hotline. I knew they would do a scan of D's computer and audit his emails which is why I moved his CP folder into a more prominent place for it to be found. Like many corporations, they are more concerned with maintaining a public image and this is something they wouldn't want getting out if it was reported to law enforcement agencies by an employee. I knew once they found that folder, they would be compelled to contact authorities anyway, so it removed the onus from me and removed me from the equation. Plus, after learning about D's darker side, I didn't want him or someone sent by him coming after me for ruining his cushy job. I went with the route I felt would involve me the least and protect my own self the most. I wish I could have reported it to the authorities. Now that I'm much older, looking back, I don't know what things I would have done differently. But now that I'm married and I have a stepson, I think about if I found his photo in there, I can definitely imagine me waiting for him to return so I could exact revenge personally. But that is a bunch of "what if's" and life tends to go very differently.

Our company IT. My office was a satellite office in downtown Los Angeles 45 miles away from our main HQ where the IT team was. It was set up specifically for my team of 200. To give you an idea how inept our IT team was, our IT project manager was tasked with hiring a consultant who would scope out and build us a custom sales/phone software that would link with our database of advertising accounts and other businesses in our database. We had one of the largest databases of businesses in this industry where competitors would offer us very large sums of money just for a portion of this database. Our IT team spent close to $1.6 million on this consultant, and in the end what we were told was a custom program was actually just a turn-key software...for inbound call centers. We were an outbound sales team. What this means is that we were given a program that wasn't custom built for us, had problems using our database, and was designed for call centers that received phone calls (eg - cell phone or cable company call centers). We were an outbound center. We weren't just a call center as many of our reps also traveled nationally to visit advertisers, so an inbound software was absolutely junk to us. Because of our IT's ineptitude, I had to learn a lot of IT basics myself. As far as browsers, most of our staff was using Firefox since it used to be fairly lightweight and quick.

Like many of the stories in this thread, I understand the skepticism. Some of the stories sound so over the top and sound like a fabrication. One thing I've learned from being able to experience quite a lot in life from early on is that there really are shitty people out there like D. The reason for the throw away account is because my main reddit account is used for work in my current industry and I, unfortunately, deal with the public in my job and I don't want this associated with my actual identity.

So why post this at all? I don't care about internet points or accolades, but I do appreciate the comments of support. In a way it's been a bit cathartic for me to share this publicly. I've told the story to coworkers before, and I've felt I never really had any closure with it. This doesn't give me any closure either, but being able to share it on a forum designed for stories like this does help with that burden just a bit. I hope D's daughter grows up to be as normal as can be expected from a situation like that. I still keep in contact with a few of my old sales reps. While I now live quite far away from Los Angeles, I do like to hear back from them to see they're doing ok in life.

Addendum 2:

After I posted this story, I reached out to a few of my former colleagues who I worked with during this time just to see if there were any additional bits of information I might be able to learn. Even with the few friends and colleagues I do keep in contact with, many of them left before this story happened and many were moved to other teams before the following hammer dropped.

One thing I found out tonight from a former colleague was what the aftermath was. After the CEO was removed, the parent corporation was deciding what to do with my branch. Because the embezzled money came from one of the magazines my team was on, during the legal hearings the entire office was shuttered. And it was done in a really shitty way.

Every employee at that branch received a FedEx letter on a Saturday stating their employment with the company was terminated. Again...on a Saturday. This was done to avoid having to do it face to face while everyone was at the office. Because this was a surprise, many of them immediately drove down to the office to retrieve their personal belongings only to find hired security guards who were instructed to not let anyone in. The now-ex-employees were understandably upset. Part of the reason was because of the amount of embezzled money, the legal teams needed to make sure employees weren't removing any potential evidence. But what this meant was that they weren't able to retrieve their personal belongings, and some even had their cell phones, valuables, and other items they wanted to retrieve inside the office. Apparently the office was locked for nearly a year before the staff was able to get court-assisted permission just to retrieve their personal items.

Since then, the building we worked in has been leveled and is now an area being gentrified and has totally turned into a modern, hipster apartment complex. When the toxic magazines/assets were sold off to a new publishing firm, luckily many of the employees were able to be rehired by the new publishing firm and are still working there. Fortunately, the new publishing firm is quite the opposite of the one we worked for.

(source) (story by FalconerXV)