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#josh Hutcherson update
salfishersstuff · 15 days
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this new video of Josh, he looks so cute. I love him 😭
He's so cute with kids I'm going to cry. I'm having his kids for sure
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1989luvr · 5 months
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TURN YOUR LISTENING EARS ALL THE WAY UP. AND HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT.
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freak-accident419 · 27 days
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after a lot of thought and my tummy hurting and scrolling through tumblr i think i am going to take a break from writing smut and it’s just gonna be fluff all around
just for now of course (until i get horny or something i don’t know) but i’m living for sweetness rn
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sweetheartedbylust · 21 days
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Heyy, I’m alive 💗😭. Y’all life has been catching up
On me but I’m here dw!. I had my birthday a few days ago so yeah. But new smuts and fluff will be coming soon !
( I also might be doing some new things in these fandoms
- slashers
- Jake Webber and jhonnie guilbert / Tara yummy
💋
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sameschmidtdiffname · 2 months
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"Oh, I'm gonna update my masterlist real quick. This won't take long :)"
It's been three hours. My eyes hurt. I don't remember English. I still have shit to edit, but fuck it. I'm done for tonight. Enjoy the new details, pookies. It cost me my fucking soul.
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Whistle by Flo Rida started playing on my Spotify and I for real thought it was THAT Josh Hutcherson edit.
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cryptidcorners · 5 months
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Yo. People who make fics with Josh Hutcherson himself are weird as fuck, IDC what anyone else says. Josh is a real person, not a character for you to put your smut headcanons into. Simp for his characters, fine, but this is a real person holy shit ! If you support smut/headcanons/whatever with Josh Hutcherson in it, please fuck off my blog, thank you.
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lawsbian1234567 · 1 year
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back to the fandom... I guess?
Hey there! I don't even know who is out there anymore as It's been YEARS since I was active on here lol
Anyways, to everyone reading this: I hope you've had a nice holiday!
I had some off-time and decided it would be a great idea to rewatch THG...what I wasn't expecting was me being hit by ALL THE FEELS all over again
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Which brought me here...once again:D I spent literally EVERY day on here during the golden THG/ Joshifer days and can't believe I´m back SO MANY YEARS LATER and I guess the majority of the people have left the fandom but it feels damn good to be back! 
THATS ALL.
I'll end this post with some THG and Joshifer now because I miss them so much. Bye
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peetapiepita · 11 months
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Josh is back in his mother's house in Montana, helping her install a home golf game and buying golf clubs.
Apparently, he was again very nice to the person who helped him with the purchase.
He supposedly stopped by in LA very briefly.
Looks like he's taking a break for now.
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rayghosts · 5 months
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bill cipher is alive, david tennant is the doctor, new supernatural season might come out, homestuck is updating, mcr and fallout boy will headline a tour together, dan and phil are gay, ian and anthony are making smosh vids again, mcu loki has his own show, new scott pilgrim show used the same cast as the movie, josh hutcherson is being thirsted after
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lazyjellyfish300 · 5 months
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DD pt 3 part 2 of 2
Fem reader x Miguel O'Hara who is your Uber driver
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This art was commissioned to accompany this chapter by the incredibly talented @/ejpuki on Instagram. Please go support the original artist!
Pt 1 , Pt 2 , Pt 3 1 , Part 4 , Part 5
Synopsis- fem reader drinks too much and the bartender calls a random Uber for her which happens to be Miguel O'Hara himself. Her friends suck and ditch her. There's a lot of tension on the ride home...
TW: MINORS DNI, some blood, little.violence, suggestive content ,age gap (reader 26, Miguel 34), this one is a sad one, inspired by the original comic
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Over the next few days you two text back and forth and talk on the phone. You feel so happy and excited about this budding romance between you two. It's been so long since you felt safe enough to let yourself catch feelings for a guy. You flood his phone while he's at work. Miguel isn't used to someone texting him so often but it's kind of cute how you update him on every little thing that's happening in your day and he has to try not to burst out laughing in the break room at some of the Instagram reels you send him. 
Your text convo: 
Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️) : Why tf would you send me a video of a banana cat with that sad music 😂😐🤨 and who is that white guy that's always randomly showing up at the end of videos with that whistle tune playing? 
You(amor ❤️): it's a meme babe you don't get it😂😂😂 it's supposed to be random, that's what makes it funny af. And that's Josh Hutcherson. You've never seen or read Hunger Games?! 
Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): no, I haven't. Your sense of humor is a little broken I'm afraid. 🤨 You kids and your memes. 
You(amor ❤️): my sense of humor is just fine 😂LMAO you're only like 8 years older than me. 😂 we're watching it immediately! And we're going to Barnes and Noble to get you a copy. 😇 
Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): hmmm fine.😌 When would you like to, cutie? ❤️
You(amor ❤️): This weekend please? ❤️❤️❤️
Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): I'm so sorry, I'll have Gabi with me. But she'll be at her mom's next weekend. Can we do it then? ❤️ 
You(amor ❤️): that's okay I totally understand! ❤️ Yes please! I'm so excited ❤️ I miss you... 
Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): perfect. I miss you more. ❤️
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Next Friday
Miguel drives to work, his heart like a dead weight in his chest and his mind racing with different scenarios on how he's going to tell his boss he's had enough. This isn't what he signed up for. The project he was overseeing at work was trying to create these "special abilities"in humans. One of the test subjects passed away this week and he'd be lying to himself if he said it wasn't messing with his head. He had nightmares about her. She couldn't have been older than 19. Her blue eyes frantic as she realized she might not make it off the lab table alive. Her horrified screams ringing in his eardrums. Miguel's fist clamped tighter around the steering wheel as he choked back a sob. He felt this was his burden to shoulder alone. He knew he was falling for you steadily now, and he didn't want you to go crazy worrying about him. He knows you love to try and fix people, a lot of times to your detriment and couldn't stand to see you in that position or live with the fact that he put you there. 
 He really didn't care for his boss, Tyler Stone either. Tyler Stone was the 6'3, blonde haired, blue eyed, egotistical vice president over Research and Development at Alchemax. He and the other higher ups just spent all day figuratively (and possibly literally) sucking each other off in boardroom meetings for the hard work everyone underneath them was doing. He was a businessman, not a scientist, and it became clear to Miguel that profit came first for him over scientific discovery and advancement, and his cronies shared the same philosophy. 
Miguel faced the man now, sitting in his office. Tyler sighed and walked over to his decanter set that sat in the corner of his office on top of a polished mahogany drink cabinet. 
"Care for some bourbon?" He asked, rolling up his sleeves.
Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. 
"It pains me to hear that you're wanting to leave, it really does." Tyler says as he pours the bourbon in two short, square glasses. 
"I chose you because I believed you could handle it. Your track record doesn't lie, Miguel. You were top of your class at Columbia University. I've seen your research and read your thesis that you did with them. You know Dain was actually the one that submitted your nomination to me when I was looking for someone to promote?" Tyler hands the glass of bourbon to Miguel who murmurs a low thank you. 
"My point is, if you leave, I got no one to replace you, and that makes my job even more tough." Tyler takes a sip of his bourbon and makes a small face. "I'm going to bat for your little science project every time I meet with the board of directors. I'll be honest with you, they're ready to trim the fat." Tyler's blue eyes bore into Miguel's over the rim of his glass. "But I tell them that this process, is worth the wait. We won't have these superhuman abilities lined up for purchase on shelves tomorrow. But give or take a few years we will be the first to break 100 bil in quarterly revenue when we roll this out to the public.  My point is, I'm willing to do whatever I gotta do to keep this project afloat because I've ran the numbers, I've seen what guys like you and Dain can do. It's a worthwhile investment."
Miguel takes a sip of his bourbon and winces. Fuck it, he downs the rest of the whiskey, his throat on fire. He holds out his empty glass to Tyler who takes it and goes to refill it, his back turned to Miguel.
 "I'm sorry...." Miguel finally says. "I've made up my mind. I'm flattered that you think I'm the right person for this job, but I'm telling you, I don't want to be the guy who all of this is riding on anymore. I'm not gonna gamble if people's lives are the chips."
Tyler's face went dark and he started tapping the side of his glass, his back still turned to Miguel.
Since when did this fucker grow a conscience? He knows he wouldn't be doing this job if he wasn't getting paid for it either right? He'd given Miguel and his team resources that any group of scientists would give their left kidney for. It was thanks to him in those board meetings that those ungrateful bastards even still had a job. And now their hang up is human test subjects? 
Tyler handed Miguel back another glass and said nothing as he watched Miguel down it. Miguel winced again as he finished his liquor, throat still on fire and cheeks starting to flush. 
Tyler turned back around, looking at the now setting sun on the horizon. "I'm afraid I can't let you go." He said calmly. 
Miguel raised an eyebrow, then suddenly his face turned white when Tyler held up an empty vial of Rapture, his back still turned to him. Tyler spoke again, his back still facing Miguel. "Alchemax is the only distributor of Rapture. Leave if you want, but I'm going to have to be forced to let the board know and involve law enforcement when they realize one of their silly little scientists couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar and became a needy little addict." He took a long sip. 
"You're not gonna make me look like a weak little bitch in front of the whole board. I don't lose, Miguel. You're not gonna fuck this up for me." 
Enraged, Miguel shot up, shattering the shot glass in his hand, blood gushing out of his fingers. "You fucking piece of shit!" 
Tyler remained calm. "You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead. I used your sign in to get this vial from the lab. The access history and empty vial next to my dead body will just deepen the hole you dug yourself. Either do as I say, or throw away your freedom right now and kill me before you even had a chance to see your little girl go to Prom." 
Miguel paused. This fucker was playing chess with him. Tyler took another sip. "It'd be a damn shame if you did. Especially about that new slutty girlfriend of yours. Did you even get to find out what her pussy feels like?"
That was it. Miguel threw his chair against the wall, the wooden legs splintering into the cabinet Tyler was leaning up against, a neutral expression on his prick face as he sipped more bourbon. 
Miguel turned and left the office, and slammed the door so hard the receptionist let out a small squeak of terror as Miguel tore down the hallway, rage seething out of his ears. 
  "Aaron?" Tyler asked in his cold expressionless voice. 
A short, balding man in his mid-thirties with green eyes and thick black rimmed glasses stepped out from behind a two way mirror in the corner of Tyler's office. 
"You rewrote the code in Machine A-2099 in sector 8, right?" 
"Yes boss." 
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You hummed happily as you lit a few of your favorite vanilla almond scented candles on your coffee table. You went all out with a smorgasbord of treats for your movie date night with Miguel including popcorn, gummy worms, Milk Duds, Pretzels, M&Ms, beef jerky, and root beer floats. As soon as you got off work, you cleaned the whole apartment top to bottom and put fresh sheets on the bed. You checked your phone anxiously.
Text convo: 
Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️): Good morning beautiful ❤️ how'd you sleep? Have a great day, I'll be at your apartment at 8 pm. 
You(amor ❤️): you just made my whole morning!🥰🥰 Good morning handsome! I slept great! I'm so looking forward to movie night tonight. I have a bunch of treats and goodies for us to snack on too. 😇
Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️): that sounds wonderful, baby. ❤️ Driving to work now, I'll text you when I get there but I'm not going to be able to talk much today. I have a meeting with the boss and a bunch of other stuff related to the project I'm overseeing. Just wanted to let you know not to worry ❤️ I'll call you at 6! 
6 pm came and went and you felt sick to your stomach. 
You(amor ❤️): Babe? Everything okay, I tried you twice. 
Nothing. 
You (amor ❤️): Miguel? It's 9 pm. Are you okay? Please just call or text me to let me know everything's okay...
It was now 10 pm. He wasn't coming. Your stomach lay in knots. You had called him 28 times with no answer.
What's happening? Is he cheating on me? Did he get into an accident? Is he dead on the side of the road while I'm hundreds of miles away and can't do anything?
He gets busy at work but he always, always checks in with you. You can't help but fight back tears at his untouched root beer float sitting next to yours. You knew going into this that you had to jump, knowing you were gonna fall and he might not be there to catch you. Well, here you were with a small dagger in your heart on what was supposed to be your second date. You couldn't help but let yourself get in your head. His rejection of you this time confirmed everything you feared about yourself. You laid down on the couch and sobbed quietly to sleep. 
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That same night at Alchemax
Miguel's painful screams reverberated off the tiled floor of the genetics lab at Alchemax. The tall powerful man he was, was writhing on the floor in agony. It was as though his blood had turned to acid. His whole body felt on fire. Please God, if I'm supposed to die right now just take me already. He hadn't felt pain this intense ever before in his life. His eyes turned bloodshot, foaming at the mouth as his saliva bubbled and splurted out in incoherent gasps. 
Aside from his screams, the machine responsible for his pain let out a low beep. Miguel knew that a copy of his original DNA sample was logged into one of the gene altering machines that he set up when he was first put in charge of Tyler's superhuman project. He knew that as long as he had a drop of Rapture in him, he'd remain an addict defenseless against his new dependency Tyler forced on him. He had tried in vain to rewrite his current biology back to the original, but Tyler was one step ahead. Tyler knew nothing about science or how DNA worked, but it didn't take much to convince Miguel's bitter, jealous subordinate, Aaron Delgado to sabotage the machine. Very little was known about what type of effect that might have on a human, so there was a good chance he'd just die. Just what they wanted. Aaron and Tyler's smug faces entered the lab, watching Miguel suffer and taunting him, even pouring up another round of bourbon while they waited for the show to end. Yep, he'd be dead in just a few more minutes. They had an alibi and a cover up ready to go. They'd post his job opening by Monday and then they could pretend like this never happened. Miguel suddenly became still, his chest seeming to freeze in place, no longer rising and falling with his normal breathes. 
Gabriella, my little girl...I'm so sorry....I love you more than anything 
His eyes became glassy with tears. He was on his way to finding happiness with you too, only to have the rug pulled out from under him, now he was going to die here, alone. And those who killed him would never know justice behind their corporate wall of privilege and greed that would surely protect them. He uttered your name, his lips barely moving before his eyes fell closed and saw only black.. 
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Pt 4 coming soon! Thanks for the support 🖤
@mysteris-things
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1989luvr · 5 months
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could you please write something where Mike becomes more comfortable and confident in his relationship with the reader? I think he might be worried and nervous at first but then become more relaxed when he’s with the reader, feeling comfortable enough to talk freely about how much he admires them and wants to get married one day
you’re like my fav fluff Mike writer on here so thanks!!
comfortable.
a/n: oh my god that's so sweet thank you so much i'm crying 🥹 i really hope you enjoy this! i'm so sorry this took so long, i kinda went a little off but i still hope that you enjoy this!! 🩷🩷🩷
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Getting Mike comfortable in your relationship was hard, he was always very hesitant, and you didn't mind. You knew he's had a very hard life and that he might not be ready for anything yet. You stood in the kitchen making Abby's lunch before you went to work, when you felt a pair of arms go around your waist and a head on your left shoulder. Out of the corner of your eye you see Mike, ever so relaxed and content, this was new but you didn't mind. "Hey, baby" you lean your head against his. He mumbles a small 'Hi' into the fabric of your crewneck.
"You alright?" you look at him, his eyes glistening in the sunset that was leaking through the half opened blinds. "You look pretty as usual, wanted to make sure my brain wasn't fucking with me." Mike mumbles again. You smile and you feel your face grow hot. "I assure you, 'm real." you turn your head and press a kiss to his cheek. He was never really affectionate but, maybe he finally trusted you more than he already did and is finally realizing how much you love and care about him and that brought a huge smile to your face like you're a teenager again. You plated Abby's lunch and Mike's grip on your waist got tighter, you laughed confused. "Mike, cmon I gotta go give Abs her food." you softly say. "One second, please?" Mike pleads. You sigh as you give in. 5 minutes later he lets go, "Y/n, after you get back from work, can we talk?" Mike questions, following you to the table. "Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?" you ask as you set the plate on the table. "Yeah, yeah. We just haven't been able to like, uh be alone in awhile." Mike shyly plays with the strings of his hoodie while making eye contact with you.
"Yeah, I agree. I'll be back here around 7." you smile at him and gently take his hand and squeeze it. Abby comes into the room and sees that you made her lunch, "Thank you, Y/n!!" she wraps her arms around your hips and gives you a huge hug before sitting down. "Of course, sweet girl." you rub her head and that small interaction makes Mike's heart swell. "I gotta get to work, i'll see you two later." You kiss Abby's head and go to Mike and kiss the corner of his mouth and exit the house and go to your car.
"When are you going to marry her?" Abby asks once the front door is closed. "Abby!" Mike exclaims, slightly embarrassed, and locks the front door. "Oh come on, Mike! It's been like a million years!!!" Abby sighs dramatically. "It's been like six months, Abs. Haven't even told her I loved her or have had our first real kiss yet." He mumbles the last part out of Abby's ear shot. After a beat, he sits down at the table and makes conversation with her while she eats.
Later that night, you arrive back at Mike's house at seven, just like you said you would. He gave you a spare key a few weeks ago so you used that and gave a small knock before opening the door, "Mike?" you softly call out. Mike was in the bathroom, making sure his curls looked just right, he comes around the corner smiling. "How was work?" he sat on the couch, looking at you twiddling his thumbs. "Pretty decent. Didn't get yelled at too bad but old ladies, so its win in my book" you kick of your shoes neatly by the door then hang your coat up on the coat hanger and make your way to the couch and sit down.
"What did you want to talk about?" You question, facing him. "Uhm, I uh, just wanted to say thank you, for a lot of things, like putting up with me these past six months. I appreciate you and I love you so much. I know I've never said it but, after every interaction I want to say it but a big part of me is saying that it will scare you off. I love you." Mike gushes. You smiled widely scooting closer to him. "I love you too, Mike. I am more than grateful to be in your life. I know that you've gone through tough times and I'm always here for you, I'm not going anywhere." You grab his hand. "I want to be with you forever, I am committed to this, to you. I want to marry you one day, I don't know if i'm moving to fast in this, I just have felt the need to get it off my chest and-" He looks at you, but before he continues to speak you feel like you're about to burst, you swiftly cup his face and pull him in for a proper kiss.
His shaky hands meet your middle and you both melt into the kiss. In the next moment you are both pulling away for air. "Sorry, your reaction was cute. I'm just as committed to you Mike as I am to Abby. I love you guys. I love you, Mike Schmidt. To the Moon and to Saturn." You smile.
"The Moon and to Saturn?" Mike gains a bit more confidence in himself, with a boyish grin painted on his face as he pulls you closer.
"Definitely." you smile before he pulls you in for a kiss.
a/n: oh my god i'm so sorry this took so long and i'm also so sorry if some parts don't make sense i lowkey went crazy this weekend #lol but I really hope you enjoyed <333
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skyewritesstuff · 5 months
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paper rings (mike's version)
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my masterlist.
entry 2 in my (taylor’s version) songfic series.
summary: despite the recurring hardships, you and mike make a vow to stay together through it all.
pairing: mike schmidt x reader
fandom: five nights at freddy's
warnings: tooth rotting fluff, yall. :')
notes: based on "paper rings" by taylor swift. has been beta read. yall, i swear i'm going to leave the josh hutcherson tag alone for a bit after this, i promise lmao. i also know i need to update my masterlist. i'm going to do this soon!
word count: 3k
At this point in your life, you did not need an alarm clock. 6:30 in the morning started at 6:20 when you’d hear the tell-tale honk of your boyfriend Mike’s car being locked. You technically didn’t have to be up until 7:00 to get Abby up and ready so that she’d be on the bus right at 7:45, but you always liked to greet him when he walked in since work had never been something he’d regard as an easy part of his life.
You’d known Mike since high school. You’d been chemistry lab partners, occasional study partners, and then prom dates. It was as cliche as a “will they/won’t they” situation could be until you two separated after graduation. You’d gone off to college and Mike had stayed local. You didn’t reconnect until you ended up back home working as a nurse in the local hospital and one of Mike’s various work (fight) related injuries landed him in the ER. After reconnecting there and exchanging numbers, you began casually seeing Mike whenever you could. Sometimes he’d flake due to job and schedule changes, not feeling up to it, or needing to meet Abby's needs. That was until the dates became more frequent and it wasn’t so casual anymore. You then moved into his small home with him and Abby, sticking by him despite his numerous job changes.
You got up, putting your discarded pair of Hello Kitty pajama shorts back on despite the black t-shirt of Mike’s falling to a point where they were almost covered. You then wandered into the living room, still a little sleepy, but glad to see Mike after spending all night sleeping on your own.
“Hey, you…” You said with a yawn, reaching to take his vest and keys from him to hang them up.
“What are you doing up?” he asked, sounding rather groggy himself.
“You ask me that every single day…” You laugh, leaning in to gently kiss his lips, “I just want to be there for you as soon as you get home, because I’ve been on graveyard before and it’s the longest, shittiest night you can have.”
He leaned in and kissed you again, his lips curving up into a slight smile, “Thanks, baby…as always.”
You take his hand and begin to walk with him back towards your shared bedroom, knowing you only have about twenty minutes or so to lay with him before you have to get back up for Abby. Mike strips down to his boxers and then crawls into bed with a heavy sigh and you follow suit, not even bothering to take off your pajama pants knowing what little time you had was going to pass by in what felt like an instant.
“Things still super weird down there?” You ask, referencing the pizzeria where Mike had taken his security position.
“As fuckin’ always…” He mumbled as he scooted into your side, hiding his face in the side of your neck.
“I wouldn’t get too comfy, babe…I’ve gotta get Abby up and situated in like ten minutes.” You warned, only to get a passive ‘Mhm’ in response. “I’m just warning you.” You rolled your eyes affectionately, wrapping one arm around him, lacing it into his hair, and running your fingers through his hair as you picked up one of the random books he had on the bedside table. This was a book with photos of nature and wildlife in the mountains of Wisconsin. As you flipped through the pages, you were trying your best to avoid falling back to sleep. As much as you wanted to lay there with Mike, you knew that if you fell back to sleep it’d mean that Abby would miss the bus. You’d either have to take her to school yourself, causing your morning to be shot or she’d miss school altogether, ruining any chance at having a day at home with just you and Mike on your day off.
Right at 7:00, you carefully slid out of bed, putting a pillow in your place. This didn’t seem to phase Mike, who was sound asleep when you walked out of the bedroom to head across the hall to wake up Abby.
Abby was already awake, sitting up in her bed. She was still in her pajamas with a sketchbook in her lap and a crayon in her hand. She was drawing a very abstract-looking yellow rabbit when she looked up at you.
“Do I have to go?”
“Yes…Please get up and get the outfit we picked out last night, okay?”
“Is that Mike’s shirt?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Gross”
With only short instances of protest over what shoes to wear, brushing her hair, and the lack of orange juice in the house, Abby was ready for school. She collected her backpack and gave you a tight hug before running out the door towards the yellow vehicle. Once you were certain she got on safely, you headed back to the bedroom, yawning as you crawled back into the warm bed. You settled under the covers and then moved over next to Mike, who was now turned with his back towards your side of the bed. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed your lips to the back of his neck gently.
He stirred slightly, moving to rest his hands against yours before lacing them together. “Welcome back…” he murmured, “Abby on the bus?”
You nodded, “Mhm…even ate two bowls of cereal this morning.”
“Good work, baby.” he chuckled before turning towards you, wrapping both arms around your waist to snuggle into you. “I try.” You replied with a soft laugh, kissing his forehead. It wasn’t much longer before Mike was sound asleep again and you were starting to drift yourself. The blankets were just too soft and warm. Factor in Mike’s body heat and you were a goner from the start. Sleep took you over sooner rather than later and you found yourself snuggled up into Mike as you finally got to go back to sleep.
Roughly three hours later, you were woken back up by the sound of the trash truck coming to collect the garbage from the cans placed by the curb. You groaned, wanting nothing more than your peace back as you slept next to your boyfriend, but instead, your eyes didn’t feel as heavy anymore.
You turned to Mike, letting out a sigh of relief when you noticed how soundly he was sleeping. It wasn’t a normal occurrence by any means. Normally, he’d sleep for an hour or two before being jolted awake by nightmares from his past and whenever you could be there, you’d try to hold him and coax him back into what you hoped would be a more relaxing sleep.
Today, he was lying in your arms with his head on your chest, breathing slow and steady and his expression was peaceful. You stayed next to him, attempting to fall back to sleep to no avail for around an hour before deciding to slip out of bed and head to the kitchen. You began to prepare breakfast, despite it being almost noon, turning on the small radio in the kitchen so that music would softly begin to pour out of the speaker without being loud enough to wake Mike.
You were focused on the food, trying to make sure nothing burnt, blissfully unaware of Mike leaning against the wall in the entrance to the kitchen. “You know, I’ve told you before you don’t have to do all of this for me.” He sounded both sleepy and amused, but his sudden presence still caused you to jump, emitting a small gasp as your hand came to rest on his chest.
“Michael, I swear to God…”
He fully laughed this time as he watched your reaction with a smirk, “Cute”
“Not cute, you scared the shit out of me. How many times do I have to tell you to stop sneaking up on me?”
“What can I say? Maybe those creepy ass animatronics at work are rubbing off on me because I swear I’ve seen them move without anyone pushing the button…” He spoke, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning into you. He knew you were a bit of a scaredy cat. You’d made it known several times how you could handle all the real-life gore of a lifetime at work, but horror movies…let alone being in an abandoned building for five nights a week…were an absolute no-go for you.
A chill ran through you, partially due to what Mike said and partially due to the kisses he kept casually pressing against your neck, “That’s so weird. I hate that. I hate that. Maybe they just kind of settle…like how the house settles and makes weird noises.”
“Or they’re possessed..” You could feel him shrug from behind you and you rolled your eyes.
“Like that happens…who’s going to pull a Chucky and voodoo their souls into a giant animatronic bear?”
“The world’s full of freaky people.” he said, letting go of you to go sit down at the table. You promptly turned on your heel and leaned back against the counter, prepared to drop the sarcastic comeback that immediately popped into the forefront of your brain.
“Oh, I know that for sure. You should meet my boyfriend.”
“I’d love to. He sounds like a winner. He’s probably pretty hot too.”
“You’re a loser.” You laughed.
“Please, at least your first jab was original. Your mother calls me a loser like that’s my actual job title.” He was also laughing despite the awful reality of his statement.
You sighed, “And that’s not true and you know that. She and your aunt are just shitty people and when we get our shit situated to the point that we do not need them…then, no contact and we live stress-free.”
You turned back to the stove and started plating the food as Mike replied, “I genuinely don’t think stress-free is ever something in my future.” Your heart sank as it always did whenever Mike would make a statement like this. He’d made one mistake, as a child nonetheless, and it’d started a chain of events that consumed his entire life. He deserved better and a much brighter future than the present you two were currently situated in.
“You know I love you, right?” you said, turning, and putting some of the plates on the table.
He nodded, looking a bit confused by your question, “Yeah…”
“So, let it be known, that if it’s the last thing I do…We’re going to have the best life. You, me, and Abs and we’re going to be fine..” You sat the rest of the food out and then walked over to his chair, nudging it with your foot so he’d scoot back from the table, allowing room for you to sit on his lap.
“I mean…If this is where I think it’s going, I’ll be more than fine.”
You pursed your lips, taking a deep breath before putting both hands on each side of his face. His hands were on your thighs, trailing upwards very slowly as if you wouldn’t notice. “Mike…focus…what I’m saying is…I’m with you. I’m with you no matter what and even if things are shitty and could be better, you’ve still got me and you’ve still got Abby at the end of the day. I know you’re going to tell me no…but again, if we got married the benefits would be there for you and possibly Abby and…”
He shook his head, “I’m not marrying you for benefits. That’s just…shitty. That's beyond my levels of shitty. I want to marry you, but not like that. You talk about me deserving better all the time, but you deserve better than that. You take care of all of us and haven’t ditched me even after I beat the ever-loving shit out of some guy at the mall. You’re a saint. If I can’t properly propose with like..a ring, candles, Abby not harassing me about when I’m going to do it like she’s been doing for the past…I don’t know…six months…then, I’m going to put it on hold.”
You chuckled at his comment, “You think too highly of me, baby boy.”
He wrapped his arms around your waist and raised an eyebrow, “Do I, though? You do all of this on the regular and I don’t even ask you, and in fact, I’ve told you to stop.”
You shrugged, still laughing softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “Just accept the love, Mike.”
You leaned in and kissed him gently. “You could do so much better, you know?” he stated. You kissed him again.
“How can I do that when I’ve already got the best?”
You spent the rest of the day with Mike, relaxing at home, watching TV, and napping off and on until Abby got home from school. Once her homework was done and everyone had dinner, Mike had gone to lay down for a bit to prepare for his nightly shift at Freddy’s and you were sitting at the table with Abby. Abby was drawing, per usual, and you were trying to finally put some of the pictures of Abby, you, Mike, and all three of you that you’d gotten developed placed into the frames you’d thrifted a few days prior.
“Why do we have to look at Mike any more than we have to?” she stated, eyeing a frame you’d just shut and were putting to the side containing a picture of the three of you on Abby’s last birthday.
You looked at her and then eyed the picture that she’d been drawing for the past hour. “That’s pretty bold coming from someone who puts him at the center of all of their artwork.” You laughed, causing her to immediately flip the paper over and act like nothing was there to begin with.
“You say that like you don’t pick on Mike too!” The younger girl rebutted. You shrugged in response. She had you there.
“You both just gang up on me. I’m outnumbered here. Two girls against me.”
You looked up and smiled, seeing Mike standing against the wall in a very similar stance as he’d appeared in the kitchen that morning.
“If you two have a baby and it’s a boy, we’ll all be even.”
“Abby!” You and Mike called her name in unison causing her to look up at the both of you as she flipped her drawing back around and grabbed a black crayon. No matter how long you and Mike spend informing Abby that she can’t just share whatever thought crosses her mind, all efforts seem to be futile. The comments should be expected at this point, but they still never ceased to shock not only you and Mike but her teachers and peers as well.
“What? I’m right.” she said, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the picture.
You let out a long sigh, sinking into your chair a little more as you went back to finishing the frames and Mike made coffee as part of his routine before work. He sat back at the table and took a sip, looking at what you were doing before looking at what Abby was doing. He sat his coffee mug on the table and took a piece of paper from Abby.
“Hey!”
“You’ve got like…twenty more pieces. You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but I could’ve had twenty-one!”
You rolled your eyes at the banter between the two siblings before putting the photo frames into a box so that you could start putting them out after Abby went to bed. You set the box aside and then turned your attention back to Abby and Mike. Abby was delicately coloring in the sky in her picture and Mike was ripping a small square out of the paper. You watched him carefully as he started folding the small square in a few different directions, his brows knit together in concentration.
You let your head come to rest on your hand as you watched Mike. He remained completely oblivious to your observations of him and kept working until the square of paper had been transformed into a small circular shape. He reached over and grabbed Abby’s red crayon, drawing something on top of it, and then put the crayon back before the girl even noticed its absence.
“What are you…”
Before you could finish your sentence, Mike had gotten out of his chair and dropped to one knee right in front of you, holding up a paper ring with a small misshapen heart drawn on top. Abby abruptly turned her attention to her brother’s action, the dark blue crayon in her hand falling to the floor as her jaw dropped slightly.
“Y/N L/N, I love you more than life itself…which doesn’t sound like it’s saying a lot coming from me, but I promise it is. You talk about giving me a good future, but I just want to do the same for you. You deserve so much more than I’ll ever be able to give you, but I promise I’ll love you for the rest of my life. Will you…one day…let me replace this with an actual engagement ring…and marry me?”
You couldn’t help the way your face heated up at his words, your hands coming to cover your face to try to hide your reaction.
“Are you serious? Is this real? Do you really want to marry her? Is this finally happening?” It all left Abby’s mouth in a string of what felt like run-on sentences.
“It’s not up to me anymore, Abs.” Mike said, nudging your leg with his free hand that wasn’t holding the ring.
You laughed, shaking your head as you removed both hands from your face and held your left hand out, earning a gasp out of Abby. “I’d marry you whether you replaced the ring or not. I just want you.”
Mike grinned and then slid the paper ring onto your finger, “Then, I’m yours.”
You grinned back before leaning in to kiss him, your left hand coming to rest on his cheek as he smiled into the kiss.
“Oh gross…no…let’s skip to the part where I get to pick out a pretty dress.”
“Abby!”
In paper rings, in picture frames, and all my dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
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mothdruid · 3 days
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Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.
My Fandom Experience.
The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.
Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.
After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).
The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.
Fandom Etiquette.
If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.
Don't send hate anons to people
Block/unfollow people you don't like
If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it
Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided
Use AO3 filters
Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like
Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"
There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street
Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that
If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it
YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)
The Doxing Situation.
For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.
I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.
Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.
The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.
My Thoughts.
Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).
I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.
This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.
If you've read all of this, thank you.
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merakigifs · 6 months
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in the SOURCE you will find ONE HUNDRED gifs of JOSH HUTCHERSON in friday night at freddy's ( 2023 ) . these were made from scratch by me so, please do not edit, claim or redistribute these gifs. these gifs will be updated as i continue to gif from the rest of the movie. please give this a heart or a simple reblog if you use my gifs ! consider buying me a ko-fi to support my work.
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concretevampire · 6 months
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Building Holes
Part One
mike schmidt x afab!reader ☆ 8.9k ☆ no use of y/n and no reader description ☆ meeting for the first time; people being humans; adult themes; no serious warnings
A/N: I’ve been a FNAF and Josh Hutcherson fan since I was in middle school so this feels necessary. updates for this story will be (mostly) regular. English is not my first language.
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You can see the panic in his eyes before he probably even thinks about it.
You don’t know him. Of course you don’t, he’s just a guy who happened to be standing in front of you at the check-out line.
But you feel bad. Really bad.
The cashier: they look disgruntled. Annoyed too. You can hardly blame them though– crying children irritate people– but you can’t help but be irked. Whoever this guy is, he’s obviously trying his best.
And what can you really do when something like this happens?
Some glittery, pink, thingamajig was right in the little girl’s line of sight and kids don’t like the word “no”. It didn’t help that he barely glanced at her when he told her off mundanely; quietly, eyes trained on the scan of item after item.
So, she’s throwing a fit. A torrential, hysterical, fit.
She can’t be older than nine, you think. And him, maybe a college student. An odd pair, but the world is filled with those. They’re so human it almost hurts; a gasp for air, a vase that’s older than you are; autumn leaves on concrete, the curve of a dandelion.
He’s processed his panic now, going pale as he spins to look between the girl and the cashier. Bag the groceries or calm her down?
The cashier looks more exasperated than anything else now. Impatience billows like drying laundry in their chest, wafting dew toward you.
A particularly pitiful sound shrieks from the girl and the thought that you want to go home enters your mind. It’s selfish, especially as you watch this guy bend down onto one knee, his thumbs wiping away the tears that muck the girl’s cheeks; muttering apologies and gentle pleas to quiet.
The fluorescent lighting of the store deepens the shadows underneath his eyes.
You decide then that your groceries aren’t really an emergency but the only thing you’ve got in the fridge is pickles and frozen pizza. You could make do but you don't want to.
“Do you want me to bag your groceries for you?” You ask, side-stepping past your cart and to The Guy, who’s precariously offering hushed solutions to the girl’s self-imposed grief.
He looks up; between you, his girl, the cashier, then the box of cereal on the counter that sits soundly.
Blue and unbothered.
Back to you. His eyes shine so brightly, you find yourself convinced he’s on the verge of tears. That’s just how he looks, you realize. Dark, dark eyes– condors and tarmac– and the twinkle of artificial light in them.
He nods weakly. “If you don’t mind.”
You shrug and walk past him, to the end of the cash register.
There’s Chef Boyardee, Donettes, Yummy Dino Buddies; they all get bagged– one by one– together. The Guy comes to stand next to you, now holding his girl; her ruddy, sobbing face tucked warmly into the crook of his neck. She’s clinging to his OMSI: Pacific Marine Camps t-shirt, snot getting on the printed Spicebush Swallowtail.
His dark eyes follow your hands as you set aside the eggs.
“Thank you,” he says, but you’re barely halfway done. He’s earnest about it though; gaze on your jaw as one of his warm palms rubs firm circles into the girl’s back.
You shake your head half-heartedly. “It’s okay,” you tell him.
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“I offered.”
He goes quiet, glancing towards the cashier a couple of times nervously. “Most people wouldn’t.”
“I dunno,” you set the eggs on top of the Donettes and whip open a new bag to place milk and Kraft Mac n’ Cheese in. “Stuff like this happens all the time.”
The little girl’s sobs have receded into hiccups and sniffles, still crying, but quiet.
The cashier picks at their nails.
When you finish bagging The Guy’s groceries, you give him a smile. Something that you hope is reassuring. Warm: the apple cider you had a week ago bubbling up on your cheeks.
Then, you return to your cart and the cashier begins scanning your items.
The Guy lingers.
A minute later he’s offering to pay for your groceries.
“You’re acting like you’re in debt,” you tease with a bewildered smile, borderline grimace.
“I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
When you exit, he follows; pushing his cart with one hand, holding the girl up with the other. She’s not crying anymore.
The pair follow as you step over a mess of expired coupons that have been trodden into a fine paste over the parking lot’s concrete. Baby wipes: two for one.
“You’ve gotta let me repay you,” he implores.
You shrug a shoulder.
He opens and closes his mouth, struggling to find the right words. And there probably aren’t any, but you can’t tell him that. That’s something he’s gotta figure out on his own. You throw the back of your car open and shove groceries in.
He watches quietly.
“Thank you,” he then says, stubbornly. Like you’re a tornado; flightless fog and feathered ozone, a nightmare, something so earnestly destructive.
He has no clue how to approach it. You.
You turn to him fully, the air turning more yellow between the two of you as the evening deepens. The sun, a molten yolk melting and dipping into the bread of the Earth’s foundation.
He’s handsome— strong arms, broad shoulders, sharp jaw— and entirely constructed by hard-headed exhaustion.
Awfully young to be taking care of a girl like that, you think, but shit happens.
Shit always happens.
You close the trunk of your car.
“Good luck,” you tell The Guy, waving softly.
He’s quiet but he begins to step away, and the girl finally looks up– still clutching onto his shirt. Her dark, dark eyes glue stickily to yours: a gooey, feathered, glittery, arts n’ crafts project.
You smile at her, something you hope is reassuring. She sniffles.
“Thanks,” he says, moving further away, “you too.”
•---------•
“Happy Birthday.” You present the manilla folder lazily to David. He raises a brow.
“Those aren’t the divorce papers, are they?”
“Um,” you bring the folder back to your chest– an evil, rectangular teddy bear– and flip it open, “‘Complaint for Divorce’ in parentheses, ‘No Children’,” you look back at him. “I dunno, could be.”
He groans and reorganizes the staplers on his desk that have already been neatly placed at the corner. Twenty-degree angles on top of ninety-degree angles. All aligned in minimalist, careful, simplicity.
Perfect.
“I’m glad someone’s getting some amusement out of my divorce,” David groans, flipping drawers open and closed. Looking for something imaginary, something that will keep him busy. An object that will be an excuse in the future for his own failures.
“Our divorce,” you plea sarcastically, “You’re not gonna be my brother-in-law any more.” As if it ever mattered.
“Why are you here anyway?” He asks, finally straightening. One of his thick brows raises. “And not her assistant?”
“She wanted the personal touch.” You joke, setting the folder down on his desk. It feels incriminating when you hold it yourself as if you’re the one holding the gun up to their marriage, pulling the trigger. David eyes the folder warily. He reaches a skinny hand out, flipping through the papers tentatively.
His tendons swing and swell like frantic waves under his tan skin.
“I guess one nice thing about marrying a lawyer is that paperwork’s never a problem,” he mutters.
“And there are copies.”
“Oh, joy!” He exclaims, but then slumps in his chair, temples balanced in his palms. He’s awfully small like this. Crumpled at his desk. His blue and green argyle tie, a ruined knot at his neck. Gray suit, a poor stitch of used paper towels surrounding his frame.
Something about seeing a man so weak feels sacrilegous. Feels like a taunt. Feels like God is sitting on your shoulder and giggling.
It doesn’t help that his desk is so pristine. Neat where David is fucked. A nameplate sits perfectly in the center: DAVID CASTILLO VICE PRINCIPAL, it screams, confident.
“I should go,” you say when he doesn’t twitch from his hunched position for sixty seconds.
He nods, then shakes his head, then pinches the bridge of his nose as if a spider’s unfurled its legs in the cave of it. “No,” he starts, “No, um,” he glances at the divorce papers and looks away just as quickly. There’s a picture of him and your sister hanging on the wall to his left. He stares at the frame. “How about I take you out to dinner? Or something?”
“Sure,” you shrug.
“Okay.” David inhales deeply.
It’s quiet. A clock on his wall ticks, again and again, impending itself into your skin and his soul. “Do you want me to wait outside?” You ask, pointing a thumb at the door.
“Please,” he mutters.
The school is empty. The ‘Welcome Back to School!’ display is still up in the lobby, even though it’s mid-September and a chill is starting to ghost the air every few days. A janitor scoops up a leaking trash bag, throws it over his shoulder, and rolls the bin into the hallway.
You stroll past a wall absolutely littered with papers; drawings hung up like samara fruit in waxy colors. Lots of suns with smiley faces and brown, pea-bodied dogs. Theres a family of rainbow turtles and a wonky drawing of Ariel from The Little Mermaid. You recognize a dragon and a field of camels too. It’s endearing.
David wanted kids. Your sister didn’t.
That’s not the reason they’re getting a divorce but it’s one of those little microcosms that sums up why.
One little minute passed but it changed the hour. Changed the day too, maybe. Or the week. The month. For all you know, even the year. That’s what happened with them.
Just one minute. That’s all it takes.
You expect the cafeteria to be empty like everything else but it isn’t. There’s a woman sitting near the entrance with barrel hips and kinky, salt-and-pepper hair that's clipped back viciously in a bun. She smells warm, like peaches and laundry detergent; shea butter too.
A spice you only dream about.
The woman looks up at you from her book– something by Toni Morrison– and her brown and pink lips purse at you.
For a second she looks mean, but her hands seem so soft; so, so soft; the color of warm, brown egg shells. Her nails are lacquered in a hazy shade of lavender that reminds you of glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and the taste of milk with honey.
Sweet potato pie.
“Are you here for Abby Schmidt?” She asks, her voice low and smooth like the afterthought of a lullaby. Her eyes then turn to a girl sitting at one of the cafeteria tables. She sits alone, her dark hair hanging in rivulets around her ears and jaw, and she scribbles mindlessly with crayons on paper.
“No,” you tell her, adjusting your messenger bag a little. “I was just dropping something off for Mr. Castillo.”
The woman closes her book. Her eyebrows are thin. Neat stitches arched above wrinkles. “Are you a friend of David’s?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Okay,” she relents and opens her book again. You smile fractionally and nod, even though she doesn’t see.
Your footsteps echo against the linoleum as you walk deeper into the heart of the cafeteria. The girl doesn’t look up from her work, even as you approach, and you find yourself standing behind her. You’re looking over her shoulder at her art, arms clasped behind your back.
“I like your drawing,” you utter. The girl— Abby— turns to look up at you. Her eyes stick to yours.
“Thank you,” she says, trading a green crayon for a pink one. Then she looks back up, assessing you like you’re a division problem she hasn’t quite learned yet. “I like your jacket.” She settles.
“Thanks,” you say genuinely, shifting on your feet, “Can I sit with you?”
Abby nods and scoots over as you join her. She keeps coloring. Your eyes scan her drawing some more.
Two scribbled figures. Both with dark hair, and dark eyes, and smiles. One is taller than the other, and you can tell that the shorter one is herself: she’s wearing the red overalls in her drawing. The taller figure sports a green sweater— deep green.
Evergreens, ferns; huckleberries falling off the branch.
“Is that your dad?” You ask, hand waving towards the taller figure. She shakes her head.
“That’s Mike. He’s my brother.”
You nod. “Is that who you’re waiting for?”
“Mhm. But he’ll be here soon.” She checks the little purple watch on her wrist like she’s the president of the United States. “He’s usually late.” She turns to you. “Are you waiting for someone too?”
You guess you are. “Yeah.”
“Are they late?”
You shrug. “Sorta.”
Abby then narrows her eyes at your face. “I know you,” she says resolutely.
“Do you?” You ask, propping your head up with a palm as you rest your elbow on the cafeteria table.
“Yeah. You’re that lady who helped Mike at the grocery store.”
Your brows twitch upward, an interested leer wide on your lips. Abby looks suddenly familiar. Dark, dark eyes and fluorescents catching on them.
You’re surprised she remembers that at all; not only because it happened back during the tail-end of July, but because she was sobbing through the whole situation. She only saw your face for a solid five seconds and still recognized you as That Lady.
Smart girl.
“Yeah, that was me.”
She assesses you again; but more like a bird on a tree. “I’m Abby.”
“Nice to meet you, Abby.” You introduce yourself too. She beams and turns back to coloring. You watch and then ask, “Can I draw with you?” and Abby is quick to shove a paper and brown crayon in your hand.
She seems very pleased about the development.
Ten minutes later she’s frowning at your purple cow-dog-unicorn-thing and shaking her head. “I don’t think it looks like a cow.”
You look down at your work with her.
“Maybe if you squint? It’s abstract.” You narrow your eyes and bite the flesh of your cheek, doing what you think the high masters did when they made shit too.
She tries a squint and then frowns harder. “No.”
You laugh. “Well, maybe it’s my own animal.”
“Does it have a name?”
“Hmm. Wanna help me think of one?”
“Umm,” Abby tilts her head this way and that, the curls of her hair springing as she does. “I can’t think of anything.”
Before you can reply with something funny, someone runs into the cafeteria, panting. It’s The Guy. Mike. Her brother.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Harris, I-“
The woman ignores him, flipping another page in her book. He sighs and swallows, turning towards Abby. Then he looks flatly at you.
Abby stares– unwavering– as he walks over, hands crossed neatly over one another on the table. Mike takes her scrutiny like it’s orange juice with pulp while glancing strangely between her face and yours.
“Mike,” she starts. “You’re late.”
“Yeah, I know, um,” he looks vaguely towards you. This feels like a routine and it feels like you're breaking it.
Abby introduces you. “This is the nice lady from the grocery store.” She supplies. His eyes widen momentarily, suddenly putting all the pieces of the past and the present together, a jigsaw falling into place. His eyes trace the slant of your nose, the curve of your eyes; linger on the pocket above your lips and the eve of your jaw.
Mike clears his throat and straightens his back. “I didn’t know you worked here?”
“I don’t,” you say, and look at your purple abomination. “A family member does.”
Mike nods and momentarily loses interest, walking around the table and grabbing Abby’s backpack. He slings it across his shoulder. It’s phenomenally tiny on his sback and you realize just how small Abby is. And the little pack is so bright against him too; shining in reds, and yellows, and deep blue cerulean against the gray-green of his jacket.
Abby stands, gathers her drawings (yours too), and grabs Mike’s hand when he offers it. There are bandaids on his thumb and pointer finger, bruises like nightshade crawling from underneath the torn brown.
But Abby doesn’t look away from you when Mike makes it for the exit. She makes an annoyed, high-pitched sound from the back of her throat and glues her eyes to yours desperately.
He stops, head knocking back to stare at the ceiling tiredly, before dropping to look at her. “What’s wrong?” He asks her gently.
“Wanna go to Sparky’s with us?” Abby asks you, with no regard towards Mike. Like he’s an imaginary presence. His eyes go wide though, catching the light like moths as he stares tight-lipped and in utter horror at the back of Abby’s head.
And then he comes to terms with it, frowning between you and her.
“Um,” you start, then scoot closer to Abby in your seat. Your eyes level with hers. “I think that’s something you need to ask Mike about,” you settle gently, hoping its the right thing to say.
She whips her head to look up at him. “Can they go to Sparky’s with us?”
Mike clears his throat; shifts his stance like it’ll suddenly root the words into his mind; adjusts the strap of Abby’s bag on his shoulder.
“Maybe later,” he decides.
“When?”
“Abby. C’mon.”
“When, Mike?”
You rise from your seat. “Are you free Friday?” You ask him, head tilting. He purses his lips at you, jaw working, and then seemingly gives up.
“After four, yeah.”
“Great. Me too.”
“Okay.”
“Friday at five then?” You beam down at Abby. “Sparky’s right?” Back at Mike. “That’s on 65th and Jefferson?”
“Yeah. Sure, sounds good.” He says, but you don’t believe him. He’s got this barely-there wince on his face like there’s a nail in his shoe.
He’s sorry, you realize. Sorry about Abby; sorry that he’s supposedly forced you into this. You shake your head at him with an easy smile.
It’s okay. But he doesn’t believe you either.
You feel like he’s the type of person who’s always on his own page. Not because he wants to be but because he’s worried that other people can’t read between the lines. Can’t look deeper, past the words and into the real meat of it all.
Or maybe Mike’s more comfortable ripping the book apart than letting anybody settle down into it with him.
He leaves.
Abby waves at you, a flutter of little fingers as she walks out the door too, trailing behind Mike.
David shows up five minutes later.
His tie is situated perfectly around his neck; firm and rigid into the confines of his freshly buttoned suit. He smiles at Mrs. Harris and she asks him how he is. David says he’s fine. You wish he didn’t have to lie but he waves you over like his life is a dream and you accept that this is the reality he wants. And that you’re, in some way, a part of it.
Dinner with him is a blur. The week is a blur.
On Friday, you almost forget that you’ve committed to go to Sparky’s but one of your coworkers mentions how her daughter has a ballet recital; and you’re suddenly reminded of Abby.
Reminded of the fact that there’s now apparently a child in your life that is affected by your actions.
You think for a moment to talk about Abby but remember suddenly that you don’t really know a thing about her. You don’t know whether she prefers apple juice or orange juice: what her favorite cartoon is: or if she’s still using kid’s toothpaste.
Abby’s not your kid or your little sister, and that fact doesn’t change even if you think she’s cute and funny.
You wonder what she’s drawn today.
Maybe she’ll show you. You think about how small she is and if her little eyes will stare into yours, hop-scotching across the strange adult sadness you can’t seem to shake off on warm, overcast days like today.
You drown out thoughts with the radio while you drive to Sparky’s.
It’s a hard place to miss.
It’s just outside the center of town, and the flat-topped building sits under a large neon sign that says “SPAKY’S GIL & DINR” because the owner can’t really afford to fix the letters that don’t light up anymore. The smiling, cartoon dog– Sparky— doesn’t light up anymore either.
He’s got bird shit on his left eye.
You’re five minutes early when you open the glass door to the diner. A bell tinkles, signaling your arrival.
Mike and Abby have already situated themselves in one of the gray laminate booths. They sit on one side together. Abby’s got her head down, already scribbling at a paper with a green, broken crayon. Mike’s looking out the window, an arm across the back of the booth behind her. Calm, reserved.
A little, yellow teddy bear is propped up between them.
Mike only turns your way when you sit down across from him. Abby looks up from her drawing immediately, her head jolting up. Her grin is palpable, like strawberry shortcake, when you say hi.
“You came!” She exclaims, grip tightening on the crayon. It might snap.
You smile. “Of course I did. I said I would, didn’t I?”
Abby nods and returns to drawing; her arm moving twice as fast as it was before you came.
Mike makes eye contact with you. His eyes then drop to linger on the collar of your shirt, reading the hem like an instruction manual, before raising again.
You’re not sure what he learned from the stitching.
Something by The Doors is droning on the speaker; fuzzy, blurry, like fog. Jim Morrison moans out “Let it roll, baby, roll~” and your foot taps along.
“Did you just get back from work?” You ask him, shrugging your jacket off.
“Yep.”
“What do you do?”
“Construction.” Something you could’ve guessed, judging by the Carhartt pants and steel-toed boots.
“Nice,” you say, authentically.
He nods, then says, “How about you?” like the words are gumming to his teeth.
“Boring stuff,” you wave Mike off and watch Abby trade for a blue crayon. She’s humming along to the music. You can feel his eyes on the side of your face and turn your head back to sit eye-to-eye. He raises a quizzical brow. “Seriously,” you implore.
“You don’t have a job,” He says simply. He’s not really bothered by the notion that you’re unemployed.
“I do,” you huff, “I just,” so you tell him about it. He looks tired while you talk, occasionally eyeing the ketchup and continuously rereading the label while actively pretending not to. But he’s an honest, good sport about it; at the very least trying to seem interested. Mike nods in all the right places, giving “yeahs” and “mhms” when he should.
In the middle of your drone, the waitress comes.
She’s fifty-something, with chalky eyeliner bleeding under her eyes; her ginger-dyed hair is pulled back in an impressively messy beehive. You easily imagine royal honey dripping from the split ends. She smells like stevia and tobacco. The name tag on her chest says “Susie”.
Susie blinks at you warmly and tiredly. “What can I get for you?”
Mike orders first, orders for Abby– who barely flinches at the mention of her name– and then you order.
Susie leaves without writing any of it down.
Mike turns back to you, tense. “You don’t mind paying for yourself, right?”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” you joke, but he doesn’t really smile. Abby suddenly looks up from her art and leans in your direction, a little valence electron swarming into a new orbital. Her small shoulder pushes into Mike’s bicep. He stills her with a soft look like he wants to pillow her in peach fuzz and call it a night.
“Do you like your job?” She asks, sitting up on her knees. The hand Mike has resting on the booth moves to fix her sweater to her shoulder. She doesn’t even flinch.
You shrug a little. “It’s okay.”
She seems troubled. “Why do grown-ups never like their jobs?”
You stifle a laugh but shake your head. “I’m not sure about that. There are a lot of grown-ups who like their jobs.”
“I don’t know any.”
You glance at Mike.
He’s wincing at her words– scratching at the skin behind his ear– looking properly embarrassed. They’re a funny pair; like pickle relish and peanut butter. Weird fishes swimming and circling together because they have nowhere else to go. They know this routine; know the angle of each other’s currents.
“There are,” you assure her. Your eyes drift toward the drawing she abandoned. “What do you wanna be when you’re grown-up?”
She shrugs and tells you “I dunno,” like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “This boy, Jesse, in my class, he wants to be an astronaut.”
“Do you want to be an astronaut?”
“Sure. Space is cool. And the moon is pretty.” Abby looks towards the ceiling as if it’ll break apart and reveal Mars.
Your fingers reach tentatively for her art and when she doesn’t protest, you take it fully. You hold her work up with two hands in front of your face like a mask. “You don’t wanna be an artist?” You ask with a sly smile, peeking around the drawing. She shrugs again and Mike rubs her back a little.
You face the paper.
It’s a grassy scene; blue sky, yellow sun wearing sunglasses. Five figures are the subject; Abby in the middle and then two other children on each side of her. On her left; a redhead boy with a hook for a hand and another boy in a top hat. On her right; a blonde girl in a pink dress and finally, a boy in blue with bunny ears.
You put down the paper to look at Abby. Her eyes are wide, expectant. Mike’s are the same.
“Are these your friends?”
“Yes!” Abby exclaims and leans on the table to look at you closer. “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess,” you grin, pleased.
Mike shifts awkwardly. “Imaginary,” he clarifies. “Imaginary friends.”
You give him a private, amused smile. He relaxes a little.
Abby hands you a blank paper. “You should draw your friends.”
You obey, picking up a crayon, starting with yourself. Mike watches you carefully, eyes on your hands, sometimes trailing the curve of your eyebrows and the fall of your lashes.
“You’re good,” he says as Abby hands you a pink crayon– which you take dutifully. You draw a flower while sending him a wry smile, shaking your head. “I’m serious,” he implores, but you can hear the joke behind it.
“Sure.”
Then you finish coloring your jeans in and lean back to think.
Friends. You could draw your sister. But she’s not a friend. She’s your sister, and a lawyer, and a now ex-wife, but she’s not a friend.
David isn’t a friend either.
Dinner with him was quiet and he’d broke down into tears (again) by the end of it. You paid for the bill out of pity. You think that’s probably the last time you’re ever going to see him.
The waitress drops your food off as you start to outline the shape of red overalls.
Abby chews deftly on her chicken nuggets and leans into Mike’s shoulder while he dips his burger into a heaping pool of ketchup: the two of them eye your drawing together. You’re reminded of this photo you saw once in a Nat Geo magazine of two dark-eyed owls burrowed together.
You bite a smile.
When you’re done coloring a green sweater, you straighten and pop a self-satisfied fry into your mouth.
Abby wipes her hands off with a napkin that Mike hands her and takes your drawing. She gasps when she sees. Mike’s brows raise and you reflexively hope he doesn’t hate it.
“It’s us!” Abby says excitedly, vibrating with joy. You take a bite of your food and nod. She turns to Mike, huffing, and very seriously tells, “This is for the fridge.”
And finally, Mike smiles, almost snorting. But all he does is nod and say “Sure is,” between his bite
“You even drew my overalls.”
“I did,” you say. “They’re totally cute.”
“I like the flowers you drew around us.”
“Pretty, right?”
Abby looks so happy you could scream.
By the time both Mike and you are done with your food, her eyes haven’t left the drawing. And you must be doing something right because at some point Mike smiles at you.
Quietly. Mostly unseen.
Mike is comfortably out of your reach but he flutters in and out of your grasp fleetingly; a moth seeking light, heat, maybe something more. When he lands, you don’t close your fingers; only hang your palm open and let him decide if he wants to stay.
Maybe you are on the same page but you’re not sure if he knows it.
When the check comes Mike suddenly offers to pay. You refuse, waving him off and sticking your card in with his.
Susie comes to pick it up and then returns five seconds later, wishing you a nice day. You walk out of the diner as one big group– Mike holding the door open for you and Abby– and you find yourselves stuck under neon signs.
Mike looks at Abby carefully. “Can you wait in the car for a second?” He asks. She looks immediately offended, wanting to say no.
He looks exhausted.
Abby glares at him, then looks sadly at you before walking away and clambering into the back seat of his Honda Accord.
You turn to Mike and he turns to you when the door slams shut.
“Thank you,” he says immediately like he’s been holding it in his lungs the entire time.
“It’s nothing.”
“No,” he urges, “seriously. Abby, she,” he glances at the car, “she has a really hard time with people. Shit, I have a hard time with her too and I’m her brother.” Mike takes a deep breath. “She really likes you.”
You’re quiet for a second, letting the shadow in your eyes escape and mingle with his. “I get it.” You tell him. “Kids are…” you scuff your shoe against the pavement, “hard. Big emotions, little bodies, ya know?”
He nods. “Yeah.” He exhales. “You’re good with her.”
“I was a weird kid too.” You tell Mike with a grin.
Something like a smile is offered as he shakes his head. “You, uh,” he stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans and glues his eyes to the ground. “You wouldn’t mind meeting up again?”
You take a deep breath. This is a lot.
You should say, “Yes, I do mind,” but honestly, you really don’t. You’re not bothered by their company. You like both of them. Mike’s got something sad about him though; constantly in the eye of a storm, waiting for the hazard to hit again. And Abby’s Abby: sweet.
“It’s just, she doesn’t really,, click. But she did with you. And I know she’s gonna wanna see you again.” He elaborates.
“Sure,” you breathe, blinking. “Do you want my phone number or something?”
Mike nods. “Yeah, that’d be good.” He gives you his phone and sniffs when you enter your digits and hand it back.
You step away, steeping yourself deeper into the night. “See you around?”
“Yeah,” he nods and turns to his car. Abby rolls the window down, thin arms circling quickly, and peaks her head out.
“Bye!” She calls desperately as the engine starts. She probably thinks she’ll never see you again.
“Later, alligator!” You call back, waving.
She grins toothily and Mike asks her to roll the window up as they pull slowly out of the parking lot.
•---------•
Mike doesn’t contact you for the next two weeks. You expect it.
By the third week, you’ve settled that he’s realized just how odd this situation is and won’t call you ever. Something like disappointment aches awfully in your chest but you brush it off as a human reaction to the departure of warm summer evenings.
October is right around the corner and you’re starting to feel it.
The days are getting crisper; dirt turning to mud, dew on the grass, leaves turning orange. There’s also a bug going around at work and you’re not spared of its spread.
You wake up one morning with a scratch in your throat, an ache in your head, and a clog in your left nostril. You’re not really that sick; after a cup of coffee, you feel better. But your psyche still feels like it’s made from popsicle sticks and cotton balls.
You take it to the pharmacy before work.
There’s Nyquil and a row of untouched Dayquil next to it. Concentrated Tylenol and Cepacol. Zyrtec and Claritin. Dimetapp. You take the Aspirin and Nyquil and shlump towards the counter.
Mike is there, looking casually fatigued in front of the check-out counter, his hands in his pockets.
“Hey,” you say, the inflection of a question in your voice; the hesitance that maybe Mike wants to be ignored. Remain unseen. Unperceived. He jolts a little at your greeting and doesn’t relax when he turns to face you.
“Hey,” he says back. He takes a glance at your hand. “Sick?”
“Just a runny nose.”
He nods, takes a nervous look towards the empty counter, and then scratches at the growing stubble on his jaw.
“How ‘bout you?” You ask.
His eyes won’t meet yours. “Just some medication.”
You nod and look slowly toward the rack of non-prescription reading glasses. There’s a glittery, red pair at the very top– so small they could probably fit in the palm of your hand. “How’s Abby?”
Mike relents a little, shoulders going from concrete to rubble. “She’s doing alright. She asks about you sometimes.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, that drawing you did? She loves it.”
“I’m glad.”
There’s a quiet spell– the two of you looking in your own directions– and when the pharmacist finally shows up, paper bag in hand, Mike nabs it and leaves.
Then you step forward to pay, a polite smile on your lips, eyes flicking to your watch to take a mental note that you need to get to work soon.
Mike’s waiting for you outside the pharmacy; awkward and dark against the white overcast. It’s foggy this morning. You don’t know how he isn’t cold, only wearing a pair of jeans and a Foo-Fighters t-shirt that’s a little tight around the arms and chest. That makes you swallow.
You slow to a stop in front of him.
“I was gonna call you,” he sighs. “I got busy.”
“It’s okay.”
“Do you wanna,” he raises a hand, then drops it uselessly, “do something with Abby soon?”
“Sure.”
“She’s got a half-day on Wednesday. We could take her to the park?”
It’s a good plan. You don’t know why he sounds so unsure. “Get her outside before it gets too cold to?”
“Yeah,” he says, breathing a little easier.
“Sure, I’d love to.”
Mike straightens his back a degree. “You know Marylheights Park? It’s close to the school.”
“Yeah, I know it.”
“Is one okay? Or are you working?” He suddenly realizes.
You shake your head. “I can come by on my lunch break.”
“Alright. Great. See you there.”
You smile, nod, step away a little, and then leave– abandoning Mike under the eave of the pharmacy.
True to your word, you show up at one o’clock in the afternoon at Marylheights Park. Mike and Abby are already there– he’s sitting on a bench, wearing a flimsy black hoodie and she’s bundled up in a pink and red jacket, a beanie knitted in a cacophony of colors on her head.
She runs over when she sees you, a heap of colors on the breeze, a smile bright on her face.
“I haven’t seen you in forever!” She exclaims, tripping a little on the bark-chip. You see Mike twitch and then falter when she catches herself.
“You okay?” You ask, reaching a hand out for support if she needs it. She grabs your fingers, tight, as she leads you toward the playground. There’s a couple of other kids with their parents playing too.
“Do you like my hat?” She asks, stopping in front of you to show off.
“I love it.”
“Mike made it for me.”
You glance at him. He’s slouched lazily on the bench, hands stuffed in the pocket of his hoodie.
“Really?”
“Mhm.” She dawdles around you, skipping and humming as she climbs the monkey bars. “I saw a turtle today.”
“That’s cool.”
“Yeah, it was really cute.” She hangs off one of the bars, letting herself swing back and forth. “Lauren brought it for show-and-tell today.”
“What did you bring for show-and-tell?” You ask, leaning against a post with your arms crossed.
“My friend.”
“Your friend?”
“He’s in my backpack right now.”
You nod like it makes perfect sense. “When I did show-and-tell I brought my big sister.” It’s not true but it's funny to think about.
Abby looks at you wide-eyed and a flock of Canadian Geese honk above you; black and white, obnoxious angels. “You can do that?”
“Duh.”
Abby drops from the bar and stares at you. “You’re lying to me.”
You grin. “Maybeeee.”
She rolls her eyes the same way that people do it on TV and suddenly walks away when she sees a round of Lava Monster is starting up. It’s a weird, convoluted game you used to play all the time. You’re suddenly upset that you forgot the rules; as if it didn’t used to be one of your favorite things in the whole world.
You sigh and meander over to Mike, sitting next to him.
Your eyes stay on Abby as she toddles along the play-structure in the middle, unsteadier than you like. Mike hands you a brown, paper bag wordlessly. You raise a brow and take it.
Inside is a white-bread sandwich in a ziploc bag, a juice box, and a folded note.
“What-”
Mike cuts you off. “You came on your lunch break.” You raise your head to look him in the eye. He’s so hard to read sometimes. ”Hope you like turkey and cheese.”
You beam, flushing between joy and embarrassment, and grab the juice box. There’s a cool guy surfing on it. “Thanks,” you say, stabbing the straw into the top. “You didn’t have to.”
He shrugs and turns to watch Abby. She clambers across the slides to avoid being tagged. Some of the other kids yelp and scream wordlessly.
“I owed it to you,” he breathes, his words turning to a puff of vapor in front of his nose.
The two of you split the sandwich in half and you don’t miss the way Mike watches you pick at the crust. When you eat it anyway you hear him puff a sharp exhale of laughter through his nose, shaking his head.
The game filters out and Abby makes her way to the swings, shoes toeing the ground as she sits.
Your fingers lift the note from the bag when you finish eating— unfolding to find a small, crayon drawing, no bigger than your hand.
A purple cow, better than yours, and actually tangible as a cow. Impressive.
“Abby did that,” Mike says, chewing. “She said you need it.”
You close your eyes, amused and overjoyed. Your fingers fold the little piece of paper back up and place it carefully in your bag, in a place you know it won’t be ruined. “God, she’s so sweet,” you huff, hand clenching. You’re not sure what to do with yourself.
You feel like husked corn; chipping paint in a parking lot. Like the curl of peeled apple skin.
“She has her moments,” Mike says gently, almost smiling.
Abby starts spinning herself on the swing, twisting and knotting the chains together and then letting them unravel to leave her in spirals. He frowns at that.
“Abby,” he calls, fixing his slouch on the bench, “quit it! You’ll make yourself sick!”
She sticks her tongue out at him. He grunts. She grins at you and waves. You wave back. She goes back to swinging normally; progressively higher and higher. Another kid ambles over to join her wordlessly.
Mike frowns and shakes his head, first at Abby, then at you. “I’m starting to think she likes you more than me.”
You snort at him. “I’m an adult who isn’t an authority figure in her life.”
“Still.”
“She adores you.” You tell him. You don’t really know either of them well enough to say that but you’re sure of it. You’re sure of it not only because you said it but because Abby’s a sweet, smart kid. She’s got her problems but she’s generally well-behaved. More importantly, she seems happy.
Unbothered, by whatever situation she and Mike are in. Whatever he’s doing, he’s doing pretty good.
And maybe she doesn’t look at Mike like he hung the stars but she certainly treats him like it. The thing about kids is that they’re brutally honest:
If she didn't like Mike, you’d know.
He stares at you for a second longer than you’d expect him to and turns back to watch her.
The two of you stay like that for a while. Side by side. Almost shoulder to shoulder. Abby sometimes comes over to take a break, or ask what you thought of her drawing, or tell Mike what she wants for dinner. It’s peaceful. Quiet.
Okay.
Some parents leave. Some new parents show up. The two of you stay.
At some point, you glance down at your watch and panic floods your synapses.
“Shit,” you mutter, standing up. Mike raises a brow. “I’m really sorry but I’ve gotta get back now. I’m gonna be late and-“
“Don’t worry.” He tells you easily, fixing his posture so he isn’t slouched under your eye. You smile apologetically. Abby runs over from the slides, panting, her wide eyes expectant on yours.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I have to get to work now.”
“But you’ll come back right?”
You bend down to her level, fix the hat on her head so that it sits evenly. “Yeah, of course.”
“Okay.” She sighs, seemingly relieved, but the trace shadows of upset are still visible in the gleam of her eyes.
“Have fun with Mike?” You tell her, rising. You linger despite yourself.
“Later alligator?” She asks like a wet mutt as you start the walk to your car.
“In a while crocodile.”
You wave and she waves back. Mike keeps his eyes trained on you, raising a hand too. Your smile widens.
•---------•
Your older sister is the prettier, smarter, more put-together version of you. The version of you that you pretend to be.
She doesn’t laugh and she doesn’t smile, and you can’t tell if it’s because she genuinely can’t feel joy or is afraid of getting wrinkles. You’re sure it’s a mix of both. She lives in this big, minimalist penthouse suite that you’ve only been in twice; her heels have red bottoms. She has avocado toast for most her meals and the hoops on her ears are real gold.
In short summary; your sister has got it good. You’re pretty sure she’s miserable.
She tells her assistant, Christa, to get her a coffee and Chrsita offers to get you one too with a sweet smile. You want to say “Yes,” but she looks awfully close to having a mental breakdown. You tell Christa, “No, thanks,” smiling gently back.
When she leaves, you turn and stare at your sister’s pursed lips.
You drove into the city for once and your sister could only make time for you to come and sit in one of the stiff chairs she has placed in front of her cocobolo desk; the chairs for clients. You look around her office.
It’s neater than David’s and ten times bigger.
Vast and white. A tundra of dreams scotch-taped together.
“You were almost late.” She says, annoyed, eyes stuck to the papers in front of her.
“Sorry, I had to get cough drops at the pharmacy.”
“You’re sick?”
“Just a sore throat.”
You lean forward to poke her cheek. She squawks and slaps your hand away, scandalized and disgusted.
“That’s disgusting!”
You laugh and she steels you with a hard glare, a scoff caught in the back of her throat. “I do wash my hands,” you tell her.
She shakes her head and drums her perfectly manicured French tips against the heavy table. You tuck your own hands under your thighs. You like her nails; you want yours to look like hers but they’re inconvenient for people like you. Real people, with real lives and realistic, boring jobs.
But it's nice to look at them, especially on your sister.
“Heard from David?” She asks as if she isn’t divorcing him. Like he’s a houseplant that you’re taking care of while she takes a quick business trip.
New York. London. Shanghai. Amsterdam. Seoul. You’ve seen the photos.
“Nope.” You bite your lip and Christa comes with the coffee. A cappuccino that she places in front of your sister. Black. Tiny, little cup. Christa gives you a dazzling smile that has you grinning back at her fully, like an indulged schoolgirl. And then she’s gone; clicking off to document review in her little black heels.
Your sister glares at that.
You look her over.
Look at the way she’s curled her lashes and glossed her lips. Her shirt is buttoned straight– stiff and crisp around her neck. There’s a little permanent divot between her eyebrows and the white light of the office washes her out.
“You look tired,” you say flatly, a fairly normal thing to say to a woman who’s a criminal lawyer for an inner-city law firm.
She barely looks at you. “Thanks.”
And then it’s her turn to look you over. You’re sure she doesn’t like what she sees. She rarely does. “Have you been eating?”
“Of course I have.”
She stares for a moment longer before saying, “Just checking.”
Someone knocks on the door and peaks their head in– a young man with dark hair. Bright hazel eyes. She glares at him wordlessly and he makes eye contact with you before shutting the door quickly. You watch her scoff and then carefully pick up a pen before signing the papers gently; like hemlock and hummingbirds.
Your sister. Elegant.
You tilt your head.
She starts. “So, any luck-“
“Oh, can we please go five minutes-“
“I was going to ask-“
“-without talking about-“
“-about your job!”
“-things I know you don’t care about!” You stare at her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine. We won’t talk about it.
You smile. “I like your shirt.”
“Fuck off.” She flips open a stack of papers with a fit of impressive anger, scribbling something hotly in the margins.
You know she doesn’t hate you but sometimes you have to wonder.
She’s mean and a bitch; but she constantly worries— and she worries more about you than anyone else. More than she ever worried about David. Which says quite a bit about what the two of you have done and put up with for one another.
Your sister: less of a counterpart, more of a weird black shadow of a half-twin. Not the moon and the sun; but a tree and the ferns that grow underneath.
Your sister stares at her cooling cup of coffee and looks into your eyes like they’re blurry. “Do you need money?”
Her solution to everything. A pretty good one, you won’t lie. “No.” You say quickly, waving her off.
“So everything’s good then?”
“Yeah. Good. It’s all good.”
She raises a brow but looks away to read something.
“How about you?” You ask.
She sighs heavily and stares at the wall. “Well,” and for a moment she doesn’t look like your sister. More like any other woman– any other person experiencing life for the first time. She’s thinking about her job and her home; the wonders and horrors of burnt toast and manilla folders. Of sending people to jail or keeping them out of it. Of going to bed in her 1200 thread count, Egyptian-cotton bed set.
Then she blinks, as if remembering who she is, and suddenly your sister’s sitting in front of you again.
“It’s alright. Fine. Boring.”
“Makes sense.” You tell her with a nod.
“How’s Mac?” She asks off-handedly, eyes on her work. Mac. Full name Tarmac. The stray cat that’s been haunting your house for the past couple of years. A dumb, skinny little cat who loved you with all of his heart.
“Dead.”
“What?” Your sister exclaims, wrist dropping to the edge of the table, pen still in hand. “How are you not,, a wreck?”
“It happened a few months ago.”
“God.” She finally takes a sip of her cappuccino and clears her throat. “Well, just don’t get upset one night and, I dunno, drink yourself into a sobbing mess.”
You grimace. “Says you.”
She sends you a hard glare. “Don’t.”
“I’m not the one who had to be bailed out of-“
“When are you going to stop bringing that up?” She groans. You laugh a bit now, dropping your head towards your lap and your sister looks properly embarrassed. “I passed the bar, have a Porsche, and have a personal trainer, ya know!”
You laugh harder. You can tell she finds it almost funny too but is raging too hotly to care.
“And then I had to-“
“Stop!” She exclaims.
You leave her alone but still giggle through it, fingers pressing against your lips in a complete failure to contain your amusement.
There’s another beat of silence.
She takes another sip. You watch her. Christa comes by again with a new, impressively thick stack of papers for your sister and walks out.
“Where’s your shirt from?” You ask your sister, eyeing it. “It’s nice.”
“Balenciaga.”
Pricey. The white, simple, button-up shirt she’s wearing probably cost her more than a hundred dollars.
“Is it cotton?” You ask her, leaning forward for a better look.
“Yes.” She side-eyes you warily. You lean back. “You better not steal it.”
“I’m not going to!”
“You’ve done it before.”
You roll your eyes.
Your sister finishes her coffee off in silence. It’s awfully quiet for a law firm. You wonder if her office walls are sound-proofed.
At some point, she tells you she has a meeting and that you need to leave. She’s in a good enough mood to at least walk you out herself.
In the firm’s garage building the two of you wait for the valet to bring your car.
She looks strange, sad, lonely. You love her. But you don’t know what to do about it because she gives you no place to put it. That’s just who she is. Her person. Being in a constant state of distress is part of her identity and really, there’s no escaping it. Self-imposed, mortal limbo.
“You’ll be okay?” She asks gently, like for once she means it.
“Yeah.” You tell her, tender. Human. “You?”
“Of course. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry about your divorce.” You finally tell her. You didn’t say it at first when it was too new and too fresh. When she was more concerned with paperwork than emotional damage.
She shakes her head like the mention of it is merely a fly in her face. “Don’t apologize. I wanted to thank you for bringing those papers to David.”
“Anytime.”
“It’s just, you live nearby and it would have been easier for you to do it than Christa, and-“
“Seriously.” You cut her off. “It’s fine.”
She sighs and looks you over. It’s a long, extended look of softness. Mike looked at Abby the same way. But it’s a rarity from her; one that has you giving her a confused smile, hands going into the pockets of your jacket— the nicest, crispest one you own— as she stares.
“What?” You ask.
She steps forward, raising an arm, and you step back. She huffs, annoyed. “I wanted to give you a hug but you ruined the moment.”
You scoff incredulously. “You’re so weird.”
She glares. “Fuck you.”
The valet comes with your car.
Shitty, and old. Reliable and well-loved. Needs an oil change.
You step around to the driver’s side and the valet places your keys warmly in your palm. Your sister stays in the spot you left her in.
“Bye.” She says stiffly.
“See you soon.”
She glances at the valet. “Right.”
“Give me a smile?” You joke. You see her right hand twitch to flip you off but with the audience she contains herself. All she gives you is a deep-seated, disappointed frown and a shake of her head.
You grin and step into your car before driving off.
Even as you pull out of the garage you can see her standing still in that over-priced button-up shirt; arms wrapped around her torso, watching you go.
You tell yourself she’ll be okay but when a song from your childhood plays on the radio you doubt it.
Nostalgia will kill you before she ever does.
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