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criminal-act7 · 8 days

Text

The Worst

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Blk reader

Genre: angst and nothing but angst. Smut is just a bonus.

Summary: You left the BAU 4 years ago in pursuit of a new career. You and Spencer made the long-distance work until you couldn’t. Two months after the breakup, Spencer and you meet up for closure.

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (f), fingering

Notes: it's been so long since I've written smut, so I'm kinda rusty. Low key I had Don't Smile by Sabrina carpenter in mu head now. I hope you guys enjoy!

Two days ago, everything was perfect. You had returned to D.C. to visit your old friends and colleagues at the BAU, and of course, to see your boyfriend, Spencer Reid. It had been two years since you left the BAU to study music theory in the Twin Cities, and now you were about to start teaching in Minneapolis. While you missed Spencer dearly, and he missed you, too, the long-distance visits hadn’t been enough. But this time felt different.

Spencer surprised you with a romantic dinner, and just when you thought it couldn't get better, he proposed. You had dreamed of this moment for so long, knowing Spencer’s cautious nature meant the timing had to be just right. But when he finally asked, your answer was easy. Yes. Of course, yes.

Now, curled up in his arms on the couch, you feel the warmth of his presence, the joy of being together again. But tonight, as Spencer begins to talk about the future, you realize that your dreams may not be as aligned as you once thought.

“You’re not serious right now,” you say, disbelief threading through your voice.

“I am,” Spencer replies, his gaze steady on yours. He gently brushes his fingers across your knuckles.

“Spencer, I can’t just drop everything and move back to D.C. I just started teaching in Minnesota.”

“I know, but if we act now, we can get this amazing house—”

“Wait, what? You’ve already been looking at houses?”

He averts his eyes for a moment, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. “I found one. It’s perfect for us. There’s even a wishing well in the backyard. We’re getting married, Y/N. Why not plan for the future?”

“We got engaged two days ago! Spencer, we have time. We don’t need to rush.”

“I know,” he says, his voice softening, “but I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Besides, we don’t know what could happen.”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I get it. I used to work at the BAU, I understand. But I don’t want to give up teaching. This is something I love.”

“You don’t have to give it up,” Spencer says, leaning forward, trying to bridge the gap between you. “You could teach in D.C. or even Virginia.”

You shake your head, already knowing where this conversation is headed. “Spencer, I’m not leaving Minnesota. These kids need me. Music gives them a creative outlet. It helps keep them out of trouble.”

He pauses, his voice quiet now. “What about me?”

Your heart tightens at his words. “What about you? We text every day, we talk on the phone, and we video chat when we can.”

“It’s not the same,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing the back of your hand.

“If you miss me so much, you could come to Minnesota,” you offer with a hopeful smile.

“And do what? Teach?” He lets out a small laugh, but there’s no real humor in it.

“You’d make a hot professor,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t land.

“I don’t want to teach, Y/N. That’s your dream, not mine.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m staying in Minnesota,” you reply. “This makes me happy. I’m finally doing something meaningful, something that fulfills me.”

“You were doing meaningful work before,” Spencer argues, his voice rising slightly. “You saved lives. You were a great profiler.”

“And how many lives did we lose? How many victims never got justice?” Your voice wavers. “I wasn’t happy in that life, Spencer. Not like I am now.”

He exhales, his frustration evident. “So, how do we make this work? You in Minnesota, me in D.C.?”

“I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “I thought we’d figure it out.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t just ‘figure it out.’ What, do you think we can hop on planes every weekend, or after I finish a case?”

“Well, if you didn’t have this all figured out, why did you propose?” you ask, feeling the tension rise between you.

“Because I did have it figured out!” he snaps, his voice sharp. “You’re the one who changed the plan, refusing to come with me.”

“I didn’t refuse,” you say, your tone turning defensive. “I just can’t drop my life because you want me to live yours.”

“We’re in a relationship, Y/N! You’re not single anymore. I’ve always supported you. Why can’t you do the same for me?”

“I’m not saying you haven’t supported me. But why should I give up my dream for yours?”

“Because I don’t think you’d be happy long-term!” Spencer exclaims. “You never mentioned any of this before. Then suddenly, you tell me you’re teaching in Minnesota, out of nowhere.”

You stare at him, the weight of his words settling in. “You don’t think I’d be happy?” he looks you in the eyes, his gaze starting into your soul.

“Not in the long run. No.”

“And who’s to say I’d be happy with you?” The words slip out before you can stop them.

Spencer’s face falls, his expression pained. “What do you mean?”

“You think I’d be happy moving to D.C., working at the BAU again, getting married, having kids? That’s your plan, Spencer. Not mine.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” he says, his voice faltering. “We talked about this before we even started dating—marriage, kids, everything.”

“That was seven years ago. We’ve both changed. I’ve changed.” you pointed at yourself as you tell him the truth. He realized that too of course the distance away from him was going to change him.

His face hardens, hurt mixing with anger. “Then why did you say yes?”

“Because I love you, Spencer,” you say, your voice cracking. “And because I thought maybe, somehow, we could still make it work.” you cry as tears fall down your face.

“But how can we, if you’re across the country?” The silence that follows is thick, heavy. You both know the answer before it’s spoken.

“We can’t,” you whisper.

“So… that’s it? We break up?” His voice is hollow, as if he’s already accepted the outcome.

“I—I think we have to,” you say, tears stinging your eyes.

He nods slowly, his jaw tight. “Alright.” You reach for his hand, but he pulls it away gently.

“Spencer… I’m sorry.” you let out a sob trying to wipe your tears away.

“Me too.” he says getting up to go into his room and you stayed on the couch crying as you knew he was doing the same. Neither of you wanted this outcome but you also didn't want each other to be miserable.

The next morning, you woke up before Spencer. Quietly, you packed your things, your heart heavy with the weight of last night's conversation. You had booked an earlier flight back to Minnesota, hoping to slip out unnoticed, to avoid another painful confrontation.

As you approached the front door with your bag in hand, you paused, glancing toward the bedroom—the one you had shared with him so many times before. To your surprise, Spencer was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes red and swollen from a sleepless night.

"I thought you'd at least have the courage to say goodbye," he says, his voice low and rough. He looks just as broken as you feel, like neither of you have gotten any rest.

“Spencer…” you start, but the words don’t come. He doesn’t look at you, staring at the floor instead. Now he was angry seeing you sneaking into his room to leave the ring and some note.

“Just… leave the ring and go. Please.”

His words hit you harder than you expected, and you reach for the ring on your finger. Slowly, reluctantly, you pull it off, feeling the cool metal slide away from your skin. For a moment, you just stand there, staring at the symbol of the future you had once wanted so badly.

Tears blur your vision as you gently place the ring on the nightstand beside him. "I'm sorry," you whisper, knowing it’s not enough. Without another word, you turn and walk out the door, leaving behind the life you thought you would share.

That was the last time you saw Spencer. The breakup was rough on both of you. No matter how much time passed, reminders of him lingered in your life. A month later, a couple of boxes from Spencer arrived at your doorstep—your things from his apartment, meticulously packed and sent back to you. It was everything you had left there, down to the smallest items. The gesture felt like a final goodbye, a clear sign that he had moved on. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. You still had his things. A couple of his shirts, some books, and photos. They haunted you in the quiet moments when you were alone, a reminder of a future that would never be.

Your friend Cassie had advised you to collect his things and move on. “You need closure,” she told you, gently pushing you to take the steps toward healing. But you didn’t at first. You couldn’t. Then, without telling you, she set you up on a date.

His name was Scott. He was a high school English teacher, loved to read, worked out, and was just coming out of his own messy breakup. On your first date, you clicked in a way that surprised you. It felt easy with him, natural. The two of you saw each other a few times, and before long, it had been a month of dates, good conversation, and the start of something promising. But there was one problem.

Every time you went home, Spencer’s presence was still there. His shirts hanging in the closet, the photos of you two tucked in drawers, even old messages you hadn’t deleted. Sometimes you would sit in silence, imagining what his life was like now, wondering if he had moved on in the same way. You’d catch yourself thinking about texting Garcia to ask how he was, but you stopped yourself. Your former colleagues—your friends—were all still close to Spencer. You couldn’t bring yourself to reach out. Not after what happened. You figured it wasn’t your place anymore.

One evening, after a date with Scott, Cassie sat with you in your apartment, and you confessed the nagging feeling you couldn’t shake.

“I feel stuck,” you admitted, pushing Spencer’s shirt aside in your closet. “Every time I try to move on, it’s like he’s still here.”

Cassie nodded, understanding. “You need closure. Real closure. Get rid of his things, talk to him if you need to, but you can’t keep holding onto pieces of him if you want to move forward.”

Her words sunk in, and you realized she was right. So, you broke things off with Scott—kindly, letting him know it wasn’t fair to either of you while you were still processing your past. Then you sent Spencer a text, asking if the two of you could meet to talk. You weren’t sure if he would reply, or if he’d even want to. But you needed to try.

Spencer had tried to move on after the breakup. On the outside, he seemed fine—throwing himself into work, keeping busy with cases. But back at home, it hit him harder. The apartment was eerily quiet without you there. Your photos, the calendar you’d hung with important dates for the both of you, the clothes you left behind—all were reminders of a life that wasn’t his anymore.

What broke him the most was the engagement ring. He found it on the floor after you left, a painful symbol of what could have been. After a sleepless night, he called Derek to vent about it.

“You have to start moving on, man,” Derek had said over the phone. “It doesn’t have to be today, but the sooner you let go, the better you’ll feel.”

So, with Derek, J.J., and Garcia’s help, Spencer gathered all your belongings, packed them into boxes, and sent them to you. It felt like closure at the time, like he was making a step toward healing. He thought he was done with it. Done with you.

Until your text came.

At first, he didn’t recognize the number. It was a message from someone he thought he had put behind him, someone he wasn’t prepared to hear from again. The message explained that it was you, asking if you could meet up to talk.

Spencer stared at his phone for a long time. He felt his heart tighten in his chest, fear rising up. He didn’t want to see you. Getting rid of your things was one thing, but seeing your face—he couldn’t handle that. Not now, not after the progress he had made. So, he never replied.

---

Time has a strange way of healing, but also of leaving scars. Neither of you contacted the other again. A month after you sent that text, you realized you didn’t need to hear his voice to get the closure you sought. You packed up his things and put them away then, you tried to forget.

But life, as it often does, has its own plans.

Two months later, Spencer found himself heading to Minnesota. He never imagined he’d end up there, of all places, in the middle of February. You had moved on in your own way, and by then, you had nearly forgotten that you once asked to meet up. You had put the past behind you—or so you thought. But some things refuse to stay buried.

“Are you sure about this, Reid?” Morgan asks, raising an eyebrow as he leans against Spencer’s hotel door. They had just finished a case today and the team was leaving Spencer had decided to stay another day. No one needed to question why he needed to as they knew the answer.

“Yes, I think it’s time,” Spencer replied, though his voice wavered ever so slightly.

J.J. leaned forward, her face full of concern. “Do you think it’s wise to meet with her after she contacted you two months ago?”

Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No, probably not. But she said she wanted to talk, and I should at least hear her out.” J.J. exchanged a glance with Morgan, but neither of them said anything. They both knew Spencer was the kind of person who needed closure, even if it hurt. Pulling out his phone, Spencer dialed Garcia’s number. It rang twice before her familiar voice came through the line.

“You have reached your tech goddess. How may I help you today?” Garcia chirped, her usual brightness evident even over the phone.

“Garcia, can you check if Y/N has a new address?”

There was a pause. “Wait… you want to see Y/N? Are you okay, Reid?” Her voice softened with concern.

“Yes, I’m okay to meet with her,” Spencer replied, but the hesitation lingered beneath his words.

Garcia was quiet for a beat before she said, “Are you sure *she’s* okay to meet with you? I know she asked to meet you, but that was two months ago, and—”

“I know,” Spencer interrupted gently. “I’ll call her before I show up.”

Garcia let out a long breath. “Alright, if you say so. I don’t know if this is a good idea, but her address is still the same. I’ve sent it to you. Good luck, and please, be safe, okay?”

“Thank you, Garcia,” he said, appreciating her concern.

“This is a bad idea, right?” Morgan questioned as he watched Spencer walk out the door going off to see you. A bad feeling coming onto him.

“Oh, it is,” J.J. agreed, crossing her arms.

It was an ordinary Thursday night, or at least it started that way. You sat on your couch, a bottle of wine nearby, your laptop on your lap, grading papers turned in by your students. The TV was on in the background, playing a movie you’d seen a hundred times. The cold Minnesota winter had gifted you a snow day, so you decided to get some work done now and relax later.

That plan was interrupted when a knock echoed through your apartment. Setting your laptop aside, you paused the movie and stood, walking to the door. When you opened it, you blinked in confusion.

There stood Spencer Reid, bundled up against the cold, his breath visible in the frosty air.

"Reid, what are you doing here?" Your voice was flat, surprise and confusion mixing with a slight edge.

“I came to see you,” Spencer said, shifting nervously on his feet. “I know it’s been a while, but I got your text and thought… why not?”

You stared at him, brow furrowed. “Reid, that was *two months ago*.”

“I know I’m late,” he said quickly, his eyes flicking to the ground before meeting yours again. “But I just finished a case, and I thought—”

“Thought what?” you interrupted, your tone sharper than you intended. “Look, I know I texted you first, but that was then.”

Spencer’s face tightened, a flash of frustration crossing his features. “Well, I wasn’t ready to see you *then*, that’s the issue. You want what you want when you want it.”

You folded your arms, eyebrows raised. “Who doesn’t?”

The tension hung between you for a moment before Spencer sighed. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight, Y/N. Please, can we just talk?”

You paused, considering. After a long breath, you relented. “Fine, you’ve got 30 minutes.”

“Give me 15,” he bargained, his voice quieter, almost pleading.

“You have 10 minutes," you replied, stepping aside and motioning for him to come in. "Starting now."

Spencer shifted nervously, hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, snow still clinging to his shoes. You stepped aside, allowing him to enter. He walked in slowly, glancing around as if expecting something to have changed, but your apartment was much the same as it had always been—warm, cluttered with books and papers, and smelling faintly of the lavender candle you always burned.

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorway. “Alright, ten minutes. Start talking.”

Spencer hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I didn’t respond right away because… I wasn’t ready. After everything that happened, I had to figure out how to deal with it. Losing you—losing us—it messed me up more than I realized. I thought sending your things back would help me move on, but it didn’t. I needed time, and I’m sorry I didn’t answer you earlier.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I get it, Spencer. But you don’t get to just show up here months later and expect me to drop everything. I’ve been working on moving on, too.”

“I know,” he said quickly, looking down at the floor. “I’m not here to mess that up. I just… I thought if we could talk, maybe we could get some closure. Properly this time.”

“Closure?” you repeated, a touch of bitterness in your voice. “And you think showing up unannounced is the way to do that?”

He winced, realizing how it must have looked. “I didn’t plan it well, I know. But I’ve thought about you every day since the breakup. I’ve wondered if we could’ve handled things differently, if we could’ve made it work.”

You stood there, feeling your heart race. Part of you had longed for this conversation, this chance to get clarity on what had happened. But now that it was here, all it did was stir up emotions you thought you had buried.

“You think about it now?” you asked, voice quieter. “You’re the one who packed up my things and sent them back like we were just some temporary fling. That hurt, Spencer. It felt like you had already moved on.”

Spencer’s face softened, regret written in his eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to feel that way. I thought it would help you… and me."

You shook your head, pacing a bit to release the tension building inside. “I’ve been trying to move forward, Reid. I was even seeing someone And you know what? I liked him. He’s a good guy, but I couldn’t fully be with him because I kept holding on… to us.”

Spencer looked at you, his expression tightening at the mention of Scott, but he quickly pushed it aside. “I’m not asking for anything other than to talk. I don’t expect us to get back together. I just didn’t want us to leave things the way we did.”

You stopped pacing and looked at him, really looked at him, noticing the weight he carried in his eyes. “So, what do you want from this conversation, Spencer? What do you need?”

"I just wanted to talk to you to see if we could I don’t know be friends again"

"Are you serious?" you said, your voice sharp with disbelief. "I wanted it to work so badly, Spencer. I uprooted my life to try and meet you halfway, but it was like you couldn’t see that."

Spencer’s expression tightened. "I didn’t feel like you were meeting me halfway. You were building a whole new life in Minnesota, and I felt like I was barely a part of it. You didn’t tell me about your teaching job until you had already accepted it."

"I didn’t think I needed to ask your permission to follow my dreams," you shot back, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I wanted to do something for me, something that gave me purpose."

"And I get that," he said, his tone softening, "but I was supposed to be part of your life too. I felt like you were pulling away, like every decision you made was just... you choosing a life without me in it."

You sighed, the weight of his words sinking in. "I wasn’t trying to choose a life without you, Spencer. I was trying to find a life where we could both be happy. But it felt like every time I chose something for me, it meant choosing against you."

Spencer rubbed his hands over his face, clearly torn. "I wanted you to be happy too. I just... I wanted to be part of that happiness. But I didn’t know how to balance your dreams with mine."

“I know. And that’s why it didn’t work.” You shook your head, the sadness creeping back in. “We both wanted to be happy, but we didn’t know how to make that happen together.”

“So now what?” Spencer asked, his voice heavy with uncertainty.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “You came here for me. We talked it out. I’m done talking. I have your things. I can ship them out tomorrow.”

“You still have my things?” he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“I can’t forget you, Spencer. Unlike you did,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Spencer looked at you, his eyes pained. “That’s my girl! Still can pull the verbal punches!” he says sarcastically as he watches you disappear into the hallway.

“I’m not your girl anymore!” you snapped, feeling a surge of frustration. As you look through your closet for Spencer’s box.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Spencer said quickly, his tone apologetic as you came back into the room. Once you find it you look at your room one last time and then you see it. That Sanrio plush Cinnamonroll, it was the first birthday gift Spencer had given you. You loved the thing and still do.

“Here’s your things,” you said, handing him a box filled with his belongings.

He reached on top of the sealed box and grabbed the small cinnamon roll plush. “This was a birthday gift... You’re really giving this back?”

“Yeah,” you said, tears threatening to spill. “It’s the last reminder of you, Reid.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry. But whether you like it or not, we’ll always have a part of each other in our hearts,” Spencer said softly.

“I know,” you replied, trying to hold back your tears.

“And I’m never going to forget you,” Spencer added, his voice breaking.

“I know that,” you said, your own voice trembling.

“But I have to do what feels right,” Spencer said. “And so do you.”

“Yeah…” you agreed, wiping away a tear.

Without warning, Spencer stepped closer and kissed you gently. The kiss was full of unresolved feelings, the pain of the past, and the hope of what could have been. It was a goodbye you both needed, but it was also a reminder of what you once had.

As the kiss ended, you both pulled away, your eyes locked with his. The silence that followed was heavy, filled with the weight of everything unsaid and everything you both had shared.

Spencer took a deep breath, his face etched with sadness. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Goodbye, Spencer,” you whispered, watching as he walked out the door, taking a part of your heart with him.

Thirty minutes later, as the storm outside raged on, Spencer found himself knocking on your door again. The wind howled, and snow battered against the windows. His team had left an hour ago, and he’d been unable to reach his hotel due to the worsening weather. With nowhere else to go, he found himself back at your doorstep.

When you opened the door, Spencer’s heart sank at the sight of you still crying. His own emotions surged as he took in your tear-streaked face. Without a word, he pulled you into a fervent kiss. It was a kiss filled with all the words you both hadn’t said, all the pain you hadn’t fully expressed.

"I'm sorry-" kiss "I didn’t mean-to comeback I just- fuck" he tried to explain himself but he couldn’t stop your lips from meshing with his. This was messed up and you both knew you just didn't care. The kisses become more passionate as he pushes you against the door, grabbing your hips pinning you. Kissing down you neck as you let out a heavy sigh finally able to think.

"Spencer what are we- fuck what are we doing?" You ask as Spencer brings his hands under your and grabs hold of your breasts. It turned him on knowing you had no bra underneath this shirt the whole time.

Pulling up your shirt over your head he answers "what feels right" he says going back to kissing you this his tongue slides his way into your mouth. Your body wanted no need for this as you decided to speed things up Spencer had another approach. He quickly slipped his hand inside your panties, feeling how aroused you were.

"Fuck-" He groans the tip of his fingers running against your slick folds as you moan. "You're so wet for me" you couldn’t respond to him as he pushes his fingers inside you both groan. You move your legs wider and you need more as he pushes in deeper, your hips pushing against his hand. His fingers curl up inside you, as you start to whine. Pushing them in and out second by second driving you crazy and he didn't want anything but that.

"Fuck I forgot how good you are at this" you let out as Spencer says nothing getting onto his knees then pulling down your shorts along with your underwear. You stared at him as he completely removed his hand from your pussy. Before he could say anything he brought one of your legs onto his shoulders before completely devouring you. Groaning at the taste of you, he missed this he missed you. The sound of your moans were music to his ears as he licked in-between your folds. Your hands going into his hair hoping he'd push his tongue into you. That was all Spencer needed; he never forgot how to please you. He knew your ticks inside and out. His pants felt so strained against his cock bust first he wanted you to cum on his tongue for him and only him.

"Ohhh god Spencer!" You cry as he pushes his tongue into you feeling it tense up inside you making your thighs clench in response. His tongue moves vertically and then wiggles slightly pulling you into this back and forth of need and desire. The pleasure makes you feel dizzy, pulling on his hair tighter. Spencer lets out a groan sending a vibration through your very core. He licked your clit with long, slow strokes, his tongue pushing inside you as he ate you out aggressively. He used his hands to spread your lips apart, giving him better access to your pussy.

"Spence, ohhh yes! Yes!" Spencer loved how responsive you were, your hips bucking against his face as he continued to devour you. He felt your hands grip his hair tightly once again, pulling him closer. He could barely breathe, but he didn't care. He just wanted to make you come on his face.

"Spencer!" You screamed his name as Spencer felt your body tense, he gripped your hips tightly, holding you down as he continued to ravish your core. He felt your body convulse, your thighs quivering as you shattered against his mouth. He lapped up your juices, cleaning you up before helping you back onto your feet. He wasn't done and you weren’t either.

The two of you kiss passionately as you move to the bedroom as you both try to get Spencer’s clothes off. His vest, shoes, and belt laid in a trail towards your bedroom. When he finally gets into your bed you both couldn't help entangling your bodies together. Both of your moans and groans fill the room as you grind against one another. Spencer knew how worked up you get when it came to clothing. He wanted to watch you squirm under him, beg him to fuck you. Maybe beg him to take you back. But you were impatient tearing his shirt as buttons flew everywhere. You then changed your positions as you sat on top of him kissing his neck and down to his chest.

He looked at you surprised as then at your body. He pictured you riding him for the last time. Admiring how pretty you look and starting picturing you crying as you reached your climax coming apart for him. Even after all this time you were still so pretty to him. Like a goddess, his goddess. If this was the last time he couldn't ruin you like he wanted to, he wanted to make love to you once last time.

Flipping you back over onto the bed he gets up and starts removing his clothes. While he does this you can't help but wonder was this right? Whatever this was, it was messy and complicated and I thought this was one night. What's going to happen tomorrow?

"Spencer, are you sure you want this?" You ask as Spencer looks at you.

"Y/n I just had oral sex with you 5 minutes ago and you're asking me if I want this?" Your heart starts beating faster as he moves closer to the bed. That look he gave you as he slowly walked towards the bed.

"I-I know but-" "But what baby?" You don't say anything as the grabs onto your ankles and pull you towards the edge of the bed.

"Spencer tomorrow-" he cuts you off looking at you in the eyes, his body pressing against yours as his fingers trails down your thighs and back to your pussy. Touching your folds running circles on your clit before dipping it inside of you again. His fingers pumping in and out of your hole until he had enough.

"Fuck tomorrow I want to make love to you tonight" he says kissing your lips once more as you let him push his cock inside you. All doubts expelling in thoughts as all you could think about Spencer putting his dick inside you. Spencer groaned softly as he slowly entered you, he missed this he missed you. Pushing inch by inch gives you both time to readjust. Laying kisses down your neck, his hands cupping your boob's as he kisses those too. Sucking on your nipple as he thrusts inside you.

"So good you feel so good baby" he whispers in your ear, setting a steady pace. His hips snapping against yours as he fucks you.

"Ahh- I miss this so much" you moan out as Spencer doesn’t say anything going a little faster as he looks you "you're so fucking pretty" he groans as you run your fingers in his hair pulling him into another kiss. His hips moving faster feeling you clenching around him. Your legs wrapping around his and his hands starting to grip your hips. The bed creaking and the frame hitting the wall but you both didn't care.

Spencer buried his head into your neck as his thrusts had gone harder and faster. You were milking him clenching around him, you were close he knew it. He needed you to cum all over his cock.

"Spence- Spence please!" You cry as Spencer looks up at you in awe "shhh you don't have to beg baby, I'm here" he groans as he shifts his weight and it drove you crazy. Keeping with that angle he thrusts harder and harder making you do nothing but cry and scream his name.

"Look at me baby" you look Spencer in the eyes, something in the way that he looked sent you over the edge. You came around his cock and in a few more thrusts he couldn't take it anymore. You felt his cock twitching inside you.

"Spencer cum for me please" Spencer tried to pull out but you quickly pulled him back in. He let out a cry as he came inside you for the first time in a long time.

The two of you didn't stop there, you both couldn't keep your hands off each other. On your floor, the dresser, in the shower, and in your bed again. Both leaving marks and scratches behind on one another. You didn't know how tomorrow was gonna go but that was something you wanted to deal with in the morning.

The next morning, Spencer woke up first. The soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on your face as you slept beside him. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to feel happy. Being with you again, in this quiet, peaceful moment, felt right.

But then the weight of reality sank in.

Nothing had been solved. If anything, last night had made things even more complicated. The storm outside may have passed, but the one between you both still raged, unresolved. Spencer stared at the ceiling, the feeling of unease growing.

He gently slid out of bed, careful not to wake you. As he stood by the window, staring out at the snow-covered streets, Spencer’s mind raced. How could he go back to D.C. after this? Could he even walk away again, knowing what had just happened between you.

"Good morning, pretty boy," you say, looking up at Spencer with a sleepy smile, your hair a mess. He stares at you, noticing the faint hickies on your neck and the light bruising on your chest. You seemed happy about last night, and that only made the guilt gnaw at him even more.

This couldn't work. He knew that.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he says quietly, his voice laced with uncertainty.

You roll onto your side, propping your head up with your hand. "I know, Spencer. Look, I miss you like crazy. And I know we hooked up last night, but... give me a year or two, and I'll come back. I could teach in D.C., or Virginia—wherever. I just want to be with you."

"I can’t," Spencer interrupts, his voice tense.

Your face falls, confusion clouding your expression. "What? Why not?"

He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Y/N, last night was... great, but I think we shouldn't have done it."

It hits you like a punch to the gut. "No," you whisper, disbelief setting in. "You're not doing this to me."

Spencer looks at you, his face pained. "I think last night was just... spur of the moment. We were both emotionally vulnerable, caught up in everything. I think the only reason you're so quick to compromise is because of the sex."

"Are you—" You sit up, fury bubbling in your chest. "You're an asshole, Spencer. You know that?" You shake your head in disbelief.

"I want you to be happy," he says, his voice soft but firm.

You let out a bitter laugh. "That's rich."

"I'm serious. I don't want you to make a decision based on one night of meaningless sex."

"Is that how low you think of me? You think this was *meaningless* to me?" Your voice cracks as the anger mixes with hurt.

"No, it’s not that. But you love teaching here, and I don’t want you to come back for me and wake up one day realizing you’re not happy with your life. You deserve more than that." You couldn’t believe this, you couldn’t believe he was here saying this to your face. Here you thought you could make your relationship work again. Hold onto the love you once shared. Thinking that you could compromise yet here Spencer was breaking your heart all over again.

"Get out of my apartment," you snap, your voice cold, the betrayal clear.

"Y/N, at least understand—"

"No!" you cut him off, your eyes flashing with anger. "You said everything you needed to say last night. Now leave." He wanted to say something else, he wanted you to know that he loved you and that he was letting you go because he did. "Go!" You screamed, making him jump as you threw your pillow at him and missed.

Spencer stands there for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any chance to explain, but the message is clear. He quickly gathers his things, his heart heavy with sadness as he walks out of the room, the door closing behind him with a final, painful thud.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

Text

Pairing : Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; miscarriage ; major angst ; Word Count : 3.5k

“Felix!” You squealed as his arms wrapped around your waist from behind, his nose nuzzling against your cheek as the softest chuckle filled your ears that his lips were right beside. Kisses were peppered against any surface he could reach as he swayed your body’s side to side, your own instinctively relaxing against him. “Remember what I said, right?” You murmured, tilting your head up to glance at him, his eyes twinkling with excitement even though he was dramatically pouting at you.

“I know, I know.” He grumbled, his thumb absentmindedly drawing circles against your stomach. “No telling STAY until the 5th month…” He sighed, his chin falling against your shoulder. “I’m just so excited, and I know they’ll be just as excited as I am when they hear about it.”

You knew he was excited, you had recorded his reaction when you had surprised him with the news that you were pregnant on his birthday. The little “Congratulations Dad” card slipped in between the birthday card that you had gotten him, and you were so glad that you had decided at the last minute to film him opening the card. His reaction was genuine and precious, and the tears that filled his eyes as he looked up at you with a questioning smile, awaiting your reassurance that it wasn’t just some prank before jumping off the couch and engulfing you in a hug… It had all been enough to bring tears to your own eyes as you continued to assure him that yes, you really were pregnant.

Sometimes you felt that he was even more excited than you were, and you were only just now entering your 3rd month. Felix had all but started the nursery for the baby by now, the names had already been picked out, and while you wanted the news to be kept from the fans just a little while longer, he was all too eager to tell the guys who shared in his joy about a new family member. He was the best partner to have, when you were feeling your worst and the symptoms were downright awful, he was always there to do his best to help you feel better. That is, until he had to go on tour.

The announcement of the upcoming world tour was unexpected, and even Felix seemed a little taken back by it. The last thing he planned on doing during your pregnancy was traveling around the world, but you tried to think positively about it, hoping that your positivity would brush off on him and he’d be less reluctant to leave.

“So you’re sure you don’t need me to stay here with you?” Felix posed the question as he stood by the front door, a duffle bag swung over his shoulder. Even though the question was meant to make it seem like you’re the one who’d need him to stay, both of you knew that he wanted you to say yes, he wanted you to give him any reason you could to stay with him. As much as you wanted him to stay though, you knew that it would be selfish, especially when so many fans wanted to see him.

“I’m sure, babe.” You said the words through little bouts of giggles as you leaned against the wall, waiting to say those final goodbyes before he was gone. It used to be extremely hard to watch him leave, and you’d usually be the one trying to make up excuses just to delay his departure, but you were used to it now. It’s not that it wasn’t sad still, but after 4 years together, you were better at it, you both were, and you had figured out how to work around the time differences so that you could call each other and at least video chat once a day. This time would be no different, you both knew that. “Plus, by the time you finish the tour and you’re able to come back home, I’ll be close to 6 months, you won’t have to wait so long.”

His head nodded, and as if you had just told him you were pregnant again for the first time, his eyes gleamed with just something else to get excited over. “Alright… You’re right, and then I only have to wait 3 months… Perfect… I don’t like waiting… I just want to meet them…” His eyes formed into thin crescents as his smile widened, his bag dropping to the floor as he walked over to you, his hands cupping your cheeks before pressing a deep kiss to your lips, the suddenness of it giving you a headrush. “I’ll miss you, angel… Keep yourself safe…” He lowered down just enough to brush his fingers along your stomach before giving it a small kiss that had your heart swelling. “And you stay safe too, my little nugget. Don’t give your mom too much trouble.” He rested his forehead against your tummy for a second, letting out a soft sigh, one last opportunity for you to just tell him to stay, but the silence out lasted the opportunity and he slowly got back to his feet, smiling softly to you. “Make sure you send me daily belly pictures, and video call me at doctors appointments so I can be there… Okay? Please?”

Even with your reassurance, you knew that this was hard for him. This was the most exciting time of his life, not just career wise, but now at home as well. His family was growing, and he had to leave you when you were most vulnerable. It made him feel awful that he wouldn’t be there for you, and no amount of it’s okay’s would make him feel any less awful. It would be rough, but not without reward. He knew that once he got home he’d be with you again, and he wouldn’t have to wait as long either.

“Felix, we’re about to go on…” Hyunjin whispered, his hand waving in front of the younger member's face to get his attention away from the video call that he was currently on with you. “We have like five minutes, and I know that you’re not going to just hang up on her, you need five minutes just to say goodbye because you do that back and forth thing that’s really cringy.”

Felixs face scrunched up with embarrassment as his cheeks were flushed a light pink, his head turning to look at Hyunjin. “I do not take five minutes just to say goodbye, and we do not do the cringy back and forth thing. We promised we wouldn’t be like that…” His head quickly turned back to the screen when he heard your snicker that you attempted to muffle. “We don’t do that… Do we?”

Your lips pursed and slightly turned up at the corners. “What if I said it totally isn’t cringe and I love our 5 minute back and forth goodbyes.” You posed, but your laugh sounded through the speakers as his head fell back and he let out a groan, especially when Hyunjin started laughing too, patting the younger man's shoulder and giving him an I told you so before walking off. “You really need to get out there though…”

Now that Hyunjin was out of the room, Felix could return to the matter of the call, and as annoying as his hyung was at the moment, it was a welcomed distraction from what the two of you were talking about. “Call me… text me when you get to the doctors… let me know what’s going on, please.” He whispered, his stress sky high, the first time in a while that he’s felt this way before a show and it wasn’t even due to going in front of thousands of fans that he felt this way.

“I will…” You sighed softly, and even though he could see it in your eyes, in the way you sat on the couch, you were just as worried as he was, you still tried your best to ease his mind and comfort him. “It’s probably nothing though. I’m sure it’s normal. The doctors are probably gonna think I’m silly for coming in for something as small as this.” Your weak chuckle filled the otherwise silent room, but Felix couldn’t laugh with you, he was panicking, and the worst part was that he was on the complete other side of the world right now when he wanted nothing more than to be with you, especially right now.

“I’m serious, angel… I don’t care if I’m in the middle of dancing. Call me, let me know what’s going on.” He said, more sternly now as the knocks came against his door letting him know time was up. “I love you, I love you so much… And I love our little nugget too. Be safe, okay? Promise me that you’ll be safe, that you’ll let me know.”

Your head nodded quickly as you blew him a quick kiss. “I’ll text you, pinky promise. I love you more. Call me when you’re done.” You whispered, and he watched you through the phone, wishing that he could hold you, that he could kiss you, that one push of that little red button at the bottom of the screen wouldn’t make your face disappear from his view. The stupid tour was keeping him away from you, and while you tried to hide it from him, he knew that you wanted him there now, you needed him there more than anything right now.

Felixs mind was completely overtaken by thoughts of you, thoughts of his child as he stood on stage. He couldn’t even focus on the choreography, his steps out of place and he constantly bumped into the other members who, in any other situation, would have gotten annoyed by his continuous mistakes, but they knew he was lost in his own mind, in his own worries about what was going on back at home.

It took a while for him to even begin to calm down, but the lack of buzzing in his back pocket was, in a way, more comforting than it usually would be. Things were fine, that’s what he kept telling himself, what the guys kept telling him whenever they passed him on the stage. Back pats and intermittent hugs were common, trying to keep him from thinking too much about what was happening or what could be happening.

What he didn’t know was that back at home in the small little room with the flowers and the smiley faces on the ceiling, you were curled up on the hospital bed, eyes bloodshot from crying as you held the last ultrasound picture you’d receive from this pregnancy that had abruptly ended with no real reason.

You didn’t call, not yet, not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to deliver the news to him when you knew he was already worried about you, when you knew he was standing on stage in front of thousands of fans. If you told him, he’d definitely run off the stage just to talk to you, trying to find the next available flight to make it home.

So no, you didn’t call him, but you shot him a quick text, hoping that he wouldn’t check it until after the concert was over. “I’m so sorry, Lixie… Nugget is gone…” Was all the text said, truthfully, you didn’t know how to put it. How were you supposed to tell him something so awful when he was thousands of miles away? All you wanted to do was be held by him and cry with him over the future that was snatched away from the both of you without any warning.

The vibration in his pocket was something that he had been waiting for, his hand quickly reaching into the back of his jeans to pull it out, pretending that he was about to take a picture. The smile that had been on his face at the thought of the new ultrasound pictures he’d be receiving quickly faded when he read the message notification on his lock screen.

It took everything, everything for him to not collapse in the middle of the stage right then and there, his eyes already brimming with tears as his arms fell limp at his sides. Fans continued to cheer, adrenaline and excitement emanating from all of them, but he was in his own bubble, his sad, dark cloud filled bubble that all of those joyous emotions bounced off of.

“Felix?” Chan was the first to notice, rushing over to him and quickly pulling him off to the side of the stage, and it was only then, once out of the spotlight, that Felix allowed himself to crumble under the crashing wave of emotions that washed over him. “Wh-What happened? Talk to me, Felix.”

But he could only shake his head as the tears rolled down his freckled cheeks, his mouth opened but no words coming out, only small gasps as a shaky hand held out his phone to the leader. What was he supposed to do now? He felt like a failure, he failed to be there for you, to be the boyfriend that would always stand beside you even during the hardest times. This was the worst time for both of you, yet you were going through it alone.

At this point all the other members were staring at him, the entire venue had fallen silent as every one there focused their attention on the crying man that was just slightly out of view. “I-I don’t know what to do… hyung… What do I do?” Felix whimpered, glassy eyes staring up at the man who, for the first time, didn’t have much of a suggestion. Chan didn’t know how this felt, none of them did, none of the other guys had ever been through something like this, let alone so far away.

“If you need to go home, then go home, Felix.” Was all Chan could offer, a firm hand planted on the younger man's shoulder. “Y/N needs you way more than we do right now, way more than STAY needs you…” And Felix knew that, the problem was that he didn’t know the first thing to do once he got home. Of course, he’d hold you and he’d tell you that it would be okay even though he’d know that both of you felt the complete opposite of okay.

How was he even supposed to step foot inside of his home when it would just be a constant reminder of the child that he had already prepared for, a child that he loved so much before even seeing them, a child that had been stolen away from both him and you before either of you got to even meet them. How was he supposed to keep composed enough to even be there for you?

Even if he didn’t decide to go home, he wouldn’t be able to continue performing. He couldn’t even pretend to be excited, let alone pretend to actually care about the show right now. You, the love of his life, were experiencing what he could only imagine to be the worst possible thing that you could ever have to go through, and there was no way in hell he’d leave you alone any longer than you needed to be. Sure, he didn’t know the first thing he’d say to you, he didn’t even know what to think for himself to calm his own emotions, but the least he could be is there.

“STAY…” He whispered into the mic, not wanting them to worry if he just ran off stage without a word, and he didn’t want to put the weight on Chans or any of the other members shoulders. They’d have to finish the show, the rest of the tour without him, the least he could do is say goodbye and apologize. “There’s… some things… going on at home right now for me… And I need to get back home to help take care of them…” He choked out the words, his eyes glistening under the spotlight that was casted down on him. “I’m so sorry… I promise to make it up to you when I’m able to… But I need to go now.”

There were a few sounds of disappointment coming from the crowd, but he knew that the fans, the real fans, would understand and they wouldn’t hold it against him. He didn’t even wait for the words of the other guys as he rushed off stage, fingers working quickly to undo the mic that he was wired with. Now that that was over with, you were the only thing on his mind.

Tears fell down his face in the solitude of first class on the plane that carried him back home, and most of the flight he slept, unable to keep his eyes open once they got too puffy from crying. He felt like the dictionary definition of a train wreck right now, the makeup that had been put on him before the concert had yet to be cleanly removed, the small amount of eyeliner and eyeshadow blotchy under his eyes from wiping them too much. He didn’t care who might see him or the photos that would come out if any were taken. One day he’d tell the world about what happened, and that day they’d understand why he looked this way, but for now, their words would mean nothing to him, their reports were pointless and false. They could say anything they wanted, nothing would ever hurt him as much as the small two sentence text that he had gotten on stage.

He knew that you’d be upset, he had, in some sense, prepared for that, but he couldn’t have possibly prepared himself enough for the heartbreaking image of you curled up on the couch, your arms wrapped around your stomach and your entire body shuddering from the lingering sniffles that came after your sobs. Your head slightly lifted at the sound of his entrance, both of your eyes bloodshot as they met from across the room. “I’m… I’m so sorry, angel…” He said softly as he made his way over to you, dropping down onto the floor beside you on the couch. You were surrounded with balled up tissues that had been used to cry into and wipe whatever tears clung to your cheeks.

Seeing you from a distance had been heartbreaking, but now seeing you up close, the way your upper lip was raw and puffy from roughly wiping your nose, your hair dampened by the tears that fell into it, your eyes barely even able to open from how much you’ve cried… It was heart shattering, like the broken pieces that had been left over were now being stomped on and kicked around. “They d-don’t know… why… it h-happened…” You shakily said between shortened breaths, your lips chapped from your open mouthed breathing. “You… were s-so ex-excited… and… I’m s-sorry… Lix…”

He quickly shushed you, his fingers quickly brushing away the loose strands of hair that clung to your forehead. “It’s not your fault… It’s not…” He cooed, leaning his forehead against yours as his hands moved down to cup your cheeks. “And I’m not going to leave you. I promise, I’m going to stay by your side no matter what…” It was a solid promise, one that he wasn’t going to break. If you wanted to stay on the couch the entire time, he’d stay seated on the floor beside you. If you wanted to lay in bed all day and be held by him, he’d do that if it meant that even the slightest bit of pain you were feeling right now would subside.

This is why he’s here… It’s for you and solely for you, because even though the pain he’s feeling right now is bad, he can only imagine how much harder it was for you. You had been told the news while you were by yourself, you had to process those emotions on your own, and then you had to go back to the empty house and continue to process those emotions by yourself. You had been the one carrying the baby, and even if it was only for a short 3 months, you had already loved the baby. Felix had caught you on many occasions smiling to yourself as your hand absentmindedly circled over your stomach. Now it was empty, you were empty. He had left for tour, excitedly awaiting coming home and only having to wait 3 more months to meet his child, and now that child was just… gone. There was no family to look forward to, not any time soon, not anymore. Home is where his heart is, you are his heart, you had it entirely. He loved coming home usually… But right now, home is where hurt is, hurt and devastation and shattered dreams.

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nicoline1998enilocin · 2 months

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Could you write constant cuddles because they're touch-starved with boyfriend/husband Tony, with him being the touch-starved one?

Touch-starved

PAIRING || Husband!Tony Stark x Avenger!Wife!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || ~ 950 words

SUMMARY || Tony has been touch-starved for as long as he can remember, but he has been doing a lot better since he met you. However, when you're gone for a long mission without him, it gets worse, and he's clingier than ever when you return.

RATING || Mature (M)

TAGS || Canon compliant. Angst with a happy ending. Touch-starved Tony. Mentions of anxiety, stress, and depression (non-descriptive).

A/N || This is written for my Summer of Drabbles. This was been the first time I dove into Tony being touch-starved, but it was such an interesting topic to explore! I hope to get into this more in longer fics at some point, but for now, I hope you all enjoy it. This is not proofread; any and all mistakes are my own. 🤍

Photo: Source || Other graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Summer of Drabbles

For as long as Tony can remember, he has been touch-starved. He may not call it that, persé, but looking at the symptoms, you both know that's precisely what it is, and it's even worse when you're not with him.

When you and your husband are together, in whatever capacity that may be, he's always touching you in one way or another—from lying a hand on your thigh when you're sitting next to him to wrapping himself around you like a koala bear and everything in between.

When you are not with him, however, it gets worse. He shows signs of depression, his appetite is a lot less as a result of anxiety about your whereabouts, his stress levels are through the roof, and he rarely sleeps - only falling asleep when exhaustion has taken over his entire being.

The past two weeks haven't been exactly easy for you, as you've been gone on a mission with Steve, but each moment you had a bit of time to yourself, you could feel your mind wandering to Tony and how he must be doing now that you're not there.

"Is it okay if I call Tony?" you ask Steve as he controls the QuinJet that's bringing you home. He nods with a reassuring smile before returning his gaze to the sight in front of him.

On the first ring, your husband picks up, and you're relieved to hear his voice.

"Hi, my sweet Angel," Tony says as he answers, and your heart beats so fast, it might as well leap out of your chest as you hear his voice. You love your husband so incredibly much, and to listen to his voice again is something you'll always look forward to.

"Hi, Handsome," you say, and Tony immediately smiles. Your voice always calms him down, and he's been looking forward to hearing it since you left.

"We're on our way home now, and I missed you so much," you say, followed by a sigh as you close your eyes. Memories of your husband flash through your mind as you do, and you can't help but smile.

"I missed you too, Angel, and I'll be right where I always am when you're home. How long will it be before you land?" Tony asks, and when you let him know, he hums in response.

"I can't wait to see you again, Handsome. I'm looking forward to holding you in my arms again and ordering take-out once we've taken a shower," you say, and Steve clears his throat, letting you know he can hear everything you're saying. You roll your eyes before you give him a playful swat against his arm, and he smiles at you.

"Hmm, I can't wait either. I love you so much, Angel," Tony says, and your cheeks heat up at his words. Even after so many years, his "I love you " gets you flustered, but in the best way possible.

"I love you too, Tony. I'll see you soon," you say before hanging up. The rest of the flight is spent mainly in silence, but neither you nor Steve mind. The anticipation of reuniting with Tony fills you with relief and joy. Once the QuinJet has landed safely, you quickly make your way to the exit, eager to see your husband again.

As promised, he's standing right outside the hangar where the QuinJet is stored for now, his arms spread wide. A smile lights up his face, though you can tell he's definitely been very stressed and tired when you were gone, as it's clearly visible on his face.

You also fall into his arms with a giant smile, and you wrap your arms tightly around your husband's waist, pulling him as close as possible. This moment has been on your mind since you left, and having him in your arms again makes every mission worth it.

"I'm so glad you got home safe, Angel. I have been so anxious and stressed when you were gone," he admits, and you nod as you pull back just enough to cup his cheeks. You lean in to place a small kiss on the tip of his nose, making him smile as you do.

"I know, Handsome, but I'm here. I'm safe, and I'm in your arms again. We can cuddle as much as you want now, okay?" you say, and he nods before putting his hands under your thighs and lifting you so you can wrap around him like a koala bear. The physical closeness brings a sense of warmth and security to both of you.

"I love you, Angel, and I'm not letting you go anytime soon," he says as he walks both of you into the Compound and towards his penthouse, where the first few hours will be spent with cuddles and kisses until it's time to take your shared shower and order take-out.

Now that you're home, Tony feels like the pieces of his soul have been put together again. He has his Angel back, and he will not let you go for as long as he can help it. You're definitely not one to complain about it, either.

"I love you too, Tony. And I'm happy to be home and be with you again," you say before nuzzling into his neck. Once you're in bed, you can feel the relief wash over Tony as he curls up against you, comfort and peace seeping into every fiber of his being.

It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep in your arms, finally getting the sleep he's been missing out on when you were gone. You play with his hair until you fall asleep, finally feeling safe with your husband in your arms.

#nicoline's summer of drabbles #tony stark #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark request #tony stark x female reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark angst #tony stark fluff #iron man #iron man request #iron man imagine #iron man x female reader #iron man x reader #iron man x y/n #iron man angst #iron man fluff

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writteninlunarlight-years · 2 months

Text

Confessing to a FWB that they caught feelings and want something more, and the FWB rejecting them and saying they dont feel the same way TW: AFAB Reader, 18+ MDNI, ANGST, Verbal Assult, Emotional Abuse

Adam

When you two first started hooking up, it was right after Eve left Adam, and you had lost your long-time partner to another angel.

It was a win-win. You both could hate fuck the old emotions out of yourselves till everything was fine again.

Sometimes, you two would go on 'dates,' but they were always precursors to what would come later that night.

You wouldn't lie. The dick was divine, and Adam was great at making you scream and cum in ways your ex never did. However, it was just that sex, nothing more.

Till it was more, and you knew you were fucked. Adam would choose specific food he knew you liked, or please you extra in bed by eating you out longer, or even he would stay a bit later and cuddle for an hour after sex.

You saw these as clear signs that he wanted more than just Freinds with Benefits, so you were reasonably hurt when you saw him flirting with Lute and feeling her up.

Was he doing all this for you just to make you feel okay while he was all up touching another woman? Were you even unique to him anymore, or had your pussy not been good enough.

That next night while you two fucked he could tell you weren't in it like you used to be and asked what was wrong. That is when everything went downhill.

"Bitch I am not into you like that; I will fuck who I want when I want. What the fuck do you mean I was treating you nicely? I just wanted good pussy."

You were heartbroken, not only were you destroyed by your ex but now Adam was destroyign you again.

"We are nothing more than fuck buddies. If you can't get that through your skull, you are no better than the bitches I fuck beside you."

Hearing he fucked others behind your back was painful, you had been souly fucking him but he kept true to his word sleeping with many others.

Alastor

He only wanted sex when it benefited his animalistic urges, and you wanted sex to get over someone. Pretty much a good way to establish a powerful allyship.

Alastor had the joy of no one seeing him weak, while you had the pleasure of fucking yourself silly to forget the pain an ex caused you.

The only downside was that Alastor was obscenely nice in bed, probably stemming from his upbringing, but it made you care more than you wanted to.

He was rough when you needed him to be, but he had these really soft sweet moments where he would hold you close and fuck you gently.

Eventually, what was a sound deal of him fucking you to relieve stress and you to relieve pain became you needing him like a fish needs water.

You tried to play it cool and see if he might be interested in something more. He took care of you after sex and cleaned you up, brought you food, and held you till you passed out.

You knew only of lovers doing that, not whatever you classified yourselves as.

One night, you finally found the courage to discuss it, and boy, you should've kept all your thoughts to yourself.

"I find it obsured you even remotely think this is possible, I fuck you out of necessity to keep face not because there is any feelings for you."

You could only sit there, wide eyes and mouth hung open as he yelled at you for stupidity.

"I already hate fucking you I think it is repulsive this primal need to mate and be with something, I don't even consider us friends."

That one stung the worst, you thought at least even if this conversation went to shit you could still be friends but hell that's even out the window.

As soon as he said his peace, he stormed off to god knows where. When you went looking for him to apologize, you heard it outside his door, the moans and begs of another.

He found someone else to complete his deal, and that someone was no longer you anymore.

Lucifer

He was a desperate and lonely man after Lilith, and you were a desperate good-looking sinner that didn't want to fall into Valentino's hands or be killed for not screwing someone.

It was an easy deal. He would fuck you to get over Lilith, and you would be safe from danger while here in hell.

Lucifer, though, was a lover, even if he was just fucking to forget, and you couldn't lie. You were attached.

You had many conversations and open communication about how this will never go anywhere and that when he was ready for a partner, it wouldn't be you solely because of the whole using your sex for healing thing.

You held on to hope, though, that time and chemicals from sex would change things.

One particular night you thought you had struck gold as Lucifer held you closer after a long passionate fuck session. Instead of chasing you out, he kept you beside him and even let you sleep in his room for a week.

However, you shouldn't have been so naive and shouldn't have opened your mouth and lost your protection.

"I told you I will not stay with you; you are a toy to help me get over my ex-wife. Why would I love a sinner like you where there are thousands to choose from."

You held your arms close to your body as you cried. All you wanted to know was if there was indeed no chance, and this must have been the straw that broke the camel's back as it lashed out at you.

"I will never love you; you are not something to be loved. You are simply a toy, that is all. I protect you so I can feel better about myself, nothing more, nothing less."

The fight was long and primarily grueling, and he said hateful and hurtful things from his hurt place. This leads you to believe that you should have never done this and just worked for Valentino.

Husk

When Angel was released from Valentino, Husk and Angel planned to fight for his freedom from Alastor. However, Angel had other plans for his freedom, leaving Husk high and dry.

You had just become a new soul of Alastors, and Husk was your guide through all the fucked up horrors that were Alastor and his shitty contracts.

With that said, there were many nights where you and Husk would end up drunk and between the sheets dancing through the moonlight.

It was a silent agreement that you two would do this once a week to ease the tension and pain of being under Alastors' thumb. However, it also became hard for you to understand your own feelings.

One day, Husk was worshiping you; the next day, he made you feel used and like a toy. Yet, one week, he treated you like royalty in every session you two had.

You almost thought he had a change of heart about your relationship, just like you had months prior, and that excited you to feel loved and no longer lonely.

However, when you broached the topic, you didn't expect the thrown glass bottles and the yelling that followed —enough yelling that Alastor and his other souls were alerted to watch you crumble.

"You really think I give two shits about you, kid? You are just a desperate nutcase who, like everyone else, fell for the radio demons' stupid tricks."

You held your breath and tried to ignore the laugh tracks and claps from the radio demon watching Husk berate you for your sex life.

"You are nothing more than a cheap discount whore; at least Angel was fucking wanted by someone other than a washed-up alcoholic."

You didn't know what to say. You wanted to fight back, but everything hurt, so you just ran—it's all you could do. Things had been tense for a long time, and Alastor used that to his advantage to torment you both.

Vox

All he had wanted was Alastor; every time he could get close, it was like walking five steps backward. You were the closest he could get to the radio demon without getting burned.

You were born and killed in the same period, though instead of having deer or doe-like characteristics, you had a bear motif.

Shy, timid, and easily malleable, Vox quickly seduced you to use you to his advantage.

The nights would be long and passionate or brutal and rough, depending on what Alastor did that day to piss the man off.

You knew your place, that you were just a replacement Alastor and a knockoff made to please Vox when he was too overwhelmed to discuss his issues with Val.

When things began to shift, though, and Vox started to target Charlie over Alastor, you had hope. Vox was sensual and sweet in bed, showing his faithful, fifties husband's lifestyle.

He was almost domestic with you, tenderly touching you, hugging you from behind, helping you cook meals.

However, you allowed a false sense of security to overtake you and lull you into believing that he would love you as you had grown to love him.

"You are worthless, have no powers, and are barely above a speck of dirt. What makes you think I will or would ever love you? I already have Val and Vel. I just use you to get my fill when they can't scratch my itch."

You should have know this was where it was going, it was only fairytale dreams where the contract owner loved the contracted. You kept your head down, allowing the assault to continue.

"You would be better off dying in the next extermination so I could have more useful information about the angels than living here next to me saying this idiotic bullshit."

You tried not to let his words hurt you, but you knew you loved him and that this would only hurt you more and more the longer you held on.

Prompt assistance: @literallurker

#x reader #headcanon #lunarwritings #moons #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbinhotel #adam x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer x reader #husk x reader #vox x reader #adam headcanons #alastor headcanons #lucifer headcanons #husk headcanons #vox headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon

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svtcrus · 1 year

Text

Better without you || geto suguru x gn!reader

ANGST | hurt with no comfort

a/n : another 2am drabble , this one is angsty folks

notes : mentions of death , reader dies , includes some manga spoilers read at your own risk , angsty geto . lowkey just a sad drabble

synopsis : would geto sacrifice you for his perfect world?

"don't do this suguru.." you softly spoke, trying to hide your fear and pain in your voice. yet your words still quivered.

here you were in your formerly shared bedroom with the man you thought loved you as much as you did him.

however that very man had his technique out in the pit of the moonlight that felt brighter than ever. as if the heavens above were welcoming your death already.

here you stood. lips trembling. while geto suguru stood at the doorway with no emotion on his face. the man you've been dreading to see ever since he disappeared after going on that one mission. no excitement nor joy was found within you at all.

while your lips trembled, his lips that looked more dry rather than soft as before, let out a cold chuckle.

"you know I love you y/n. yeah?" it didn't feel like he did.

eyes that were once full with so much colour only bore deep into your fragile soul, darkness is all that engulfs geto suguru.

"but you don't love me enough to stop this?" you unconsciously mutter, a sad smile forming as you look at him. suguru remained silent

when you heard the news of sugurus rampage, killing his own parents, eradicating an entire village. all due to his ever growing dislike of non-sorcerers. that of which was also you, you were a non-sorcerer. every night you slept to the thought of, "does he still love me?", and "am I next?". it took him 5 years to finally answer.

at this point your future was set. you couldn't run away from one of the strongest, former sorcerers of your time. not when you aren't one yourself. so all you did was walk closer to him under the dim light emitting from your bedroom window. the wooden floor creaking from your gentle steps, and next thing you knew you were face to face for the first time in 5 years.

"it's okay. I know why you're here, just do it suguru." you mumble, as tears begun to flow out of your eyes. eyes that used to provide him with so much comfort. so much life. so much love. that's the thing, they used to. now those very same eyes looked at him with nothing but hurt.

'this was all so I could complete my goal' he told himself.

his disgust for non sorcerers was like a drug to him. the addictiveness and glory he felt killing these people he called monkeys. for they gave him an ick, a feeling he couldn't rid himself of if he doesn't rid them first. and he could slowly feel his nerves cringing as you stood face to face with one another.

"it's for the better of the world."

"better without me?"

"yes." was all he said before you felt the piercing of his curse technique going straight through your already broken heart.

"better without you.." he whispered beneath the shadows of his bangs that covered his face. he looked down, now witnessing his last salvation dead before him. yet he didn't feel any guilt nor remorse.

that day geto suguru turned around not sparing another glance to your lifeless form. disappearing once more in the dark.

━━━┅━━━━*✧·̩͙♧︎🫐♧︎·̩͙✧*━━━━┅━━

@svtcrus || 07.27.2023

#geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #jjk suguru #suguru x reader #jjk geto suguru #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #getou x reader #getou suguru #geto suguru #geto angst #jjk angst #getou angst #i miss getou

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juuuulez · 1 year

Note

Hello :) Carl x F!Greene!Reader, Reader and Carl had been pining for each other since they met at the farm but they haven't had a chance to talk about it TO CONFESS so basically more than friends but no label. Back in s5e15 Carl chases Enid when he spots her climbing over the wall. And in the tree scene where they almost kissed, Reader somehow spots them(was on a walk to relieve stress) I am such a sucker for ANGST. You have full reign of how the story will go! Ty v much :))

Little Pleasures.

info: S5Carl x Greene! Reader, technically no pronouns used but u can fill that in mentally, kids being stupid.

summary: You catch Carl and Enid sharing an intimate moment, and can no longer repress your feelings for the Grimes’ boy. Luckily, he intends on making it right.

this was soooo cute to write!!! plss send more request i loved doing this!

You’ve learnt to enjoy the little things in life.

Seeing your sister, Maggie, happy with Glenn filled you with joy. Carol would sometimes bring over cookies, and promised to teach you the recipe. Once Daryl found an old music box while on a supply run, and brought it back for you.

But your favourite little pleasure? Well, that was easily Carl Grimes.

Whenever you were sad, he’d notice, and let you read his comics. He was perceptive like that, and could sense your emotions from a mile away. Maybe he, too, felt this deep sense of sadness, an ache that never went away.

After the death of your father and sister, that ache became all consuming. Some days you couldn’t bare to get up, and yet those where the days Carl turned up, standing on your porch. Throwing stones at your window.

Once again, it was these little things that made life worthwhile. You liked to think that Carl enjoyed your company as much you did his.

Sure, back at the prison Beth had egged you to make a move on him, as it was no denying how the sheriff’s boy made your heart sore. Back then, it was a silly little crush, one you’d indulge in just to pass the time. But now it was impractical. Seeing everybody you loved perish numbed you, and growing attached to Carl would only result in further turmoil.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

So why did seeing Carl with Enid hurt so much?

Whenever you were particularly sad, a walk seemed to help. Except for now, crouched behind a bush watching Carl and Enid hiding in a tree, their faces inches away. It made you feel sick.

Why was he with her? Did she have something you didn’t? Was she prettier? Could understand his comics better?

Your mind ran rampage, the embarrassing feeling of hot tears spilling into your cheeks. This was pathetic. You’d sworn that Carl meant nothing to you, and yet you couldn’t handle seeing him with someone else.

In a hurry, you took off, scurrying back to Alexandria. No more walks. No more going outside. No more little pleasures.

That was until late at night, when the familiar tapping on your window returned.

Ping.

“Stop it!” You shout, moving to pry your window open just before Carl can throw another stone. It makes your insides feel warm and fuzzy, the sight of him standing there, hair messy under his hat. You’d missed him.

“Will you come down?” He asks in a plea, speaking in this whisper-shout in an attempt not to wake the whole neighbourhood. “I haven’t seen you all day. Thought maybe you weren’t feeling well.”

Your jaw clenches, wanting nothing more than to banish him from your sight. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk to you.”

It was harsh, childish venom dripping from your tone as you slam the window shut, the harsh action vibrating against the wall. Sniffling, wiping messily at your eyes, you sat back down on your bed.

Ping.

You groan into your pillow, rolling onto your stomach and kicking your legs against the bedding. Why won’t he give up?

At your lack of response, there’s silence. It sounds like Carl’s gone home. Good. Now you can avoid him all day, all night, and never have to see him that close to Enid again. She can have him.

Only a few minutes later there’s a knocking at your door. You tilt your head out of the pillow, looking across the room. However, before you can give permission, the door is opening, revealing Carl once more.

“I said I didn’t want to talk to you!” You scold him, and in a fit of aggression, throw your pillow over at the boy.

He catches it seamlessly, throwing it into the bed as he approaches you. “Why the hell not? I got a new edition of Hawkeye. Thought you’d want to read it.”

“Why don’t you read it with Enid?” You mumble, turning away from him to face the opposite wall. This all seems so childish and stupid, the exact thing you wanted to avoid by distancing yourself from Carl.

There’s a beat of silence.

The bed dips slightly, a warm presence filling the space next to you. It takes everything within your power not to look at him.

“Enid doesn’t like comics,” Carl tells you, his voice quiet and sincere, like he can sense how upset you are no matter how irrational. “I wanted to see you today. But you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

You roll your eyes, and with one motion, fall back onto your bed with a huff. “I thought I didn’t want to be near you. Incase… I started enjoying it too much.”

You’re met with silence again, like an indication to continue. At least, that’s how you take it.

“Something bad’s gonna happen, Carl. It always does. And I don’t want… to be too sad, when you get hurt. Or when I get hurt.”

There’s a gentle thud as Carl falls back onto the bed, laying next to you over the covers. You don’t look at him, but he’s looking at you.

“Where’s the fun in that?” He asks, “It’s okay to be scared… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do things that make you happy.”

You don’t respond, too embarrassed to admit the feelings that have been eating you up inside. The words you can’t seem to push past your lips, no matter how hard you try.

Luckily, Carl does it for you.

“Do I make you happy?”

It’s an innocent question, yet makes your face flush red, ashamed that he’s been able to pick you apart so easily. If your reaction wasn’t obvious enough, you meekly nod in confirmation.

If you were facing Carl, you’d see the smile that spread across his face.

“You make me happy, too. More than you could understand.” He tells you, an admission that warms your heart.

Finally, you look over at him, and find that Carl is closer than you anticipated. He’s taken his hat off, resting further on the bed, brown hair messily splashed out on the sheets.

A smile of your own makes its way onto your face, feeling understood in a way that’s become so foreign. This couldn’t get any better.

Until it did.

“Can I… kiss you?” Carl asks, an innocent request that reignites that fire within you, the one you’ve been ignoring for so long.

When you speak, it comes out in a nervous whisper, “Please.”

For the first time in months, you’ve found something that truely makes you happy. A little pleasure above all.

The way Carl gently places his lips on yours, hands cupping your face like it were made from porcelain, that you may shatter under his fingers. He’s nervous, but that’s okay. You’re nervous, too.

You could definitely get used to this.

#carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #twd #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #twd x you #enid rhee

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weirdmorefics · 9 months

Note

Hiya, could you do a Aziraphale x Demon!Reader x Crowley (if that's alright with you) where it's the end of season 2 and the reader is arguing with Aziraphale because he's leaving and Crowley is just standing behind them still trying to comprehend what's happening, but because the reader is a demon they have never cried not once in their life so they start breaking down (ugly crying) and it pisses of Crowley seeing reader cry like that, hope this request is alright can change it it you want to x

A/n- Oh my goodness love this request I am a sucker for angst

AO3, Etsy Shop, Youtube,

TW- Major sadness

Reader's Pronouns- They/Them

Word Count- 978

Nothing Lasts Forever

Crowley x Reader x Aziraphale

Y/n anxiously plays with their hands waiting for Aziraphale to return, "Do you think he's safe with Metatron?"

"I am sure he will be fine. As much as we love to save our dear angel and mock him mercilessly, he's been protecting himself for eons," Crowley replies confidently.

Despite Crowley's confident words his face does not appear to match. He places Y/n's hands in his own and does not speak a word about it.

After sitting in silence for a long time, just the two of them ruminating on their own thoughts, a bell rings. Y/n stands up speedily and Crowley is quick to follow. Y/n moves closer to Aziraphale to check if any harm has been done but he has the widest grin on his face so the pair doubt he is injured.

"What did he want," Y/n asks fearing the answer.

"With Micheal being gone... there is a space. He wants me to be an archangel," Aziraphale beams with shock and joy.

Y/n is frozen in shock and Crowley steps closer, "He said what?"

"He said I could appoint you both to be angels! Come back to heaven and-and everything!" He uncharacteristically stutters due to the pure amount of joy. "Like old times probably even nicer!"

Y/n clenches their fist and gulps loudly even though they don't technically need to as a celestial being it just seemed like the situation desperately called for it.

Crowley went straight to anger, "And you told him where he can stick it? Oh, we're better than that! You're better than that, Angel! You don't need them! Y/n and I certainly don't need them! They ask Y/n and I back to Hell! We said no! I am certainly not going back to their team! Neither should you!"

"You two obviously said not to Hell, they're the bad guys," Aziraphale states surely. "Heaven is the side of truth, light, of good," he lists confused as to what Crowley is not getting.

If I could throw up I think I would. If Hell loves punishment so much you think they would make vomiting a must because it looks really painful when humans do it. Again maybe they wouldn't do that because vomiting is a way of cleansing your stomach and they are very against that.

"When Heaven ends all life on earth all humanity will be just as dead as if Hell did it," Crowley states. "Tell me you said no," Crowley says each word as if it were the end of a sentence.

Aziraphale does not respond and I am finally able to push words out of my mouth, "You did say no Azirapahle... right?"

"If I am in charge I can make a difference," he looks into Y/n's eyes with pity.

Y/n eyes have an unfamiliar feeling, they feel wet and sting.

Crowley starts to pace, "Oh god, oh, I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say. I better say it now. Right okay. We are a team a group of us, we have known each other a long time, we all rely on each other. I would like us to- I mean if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it. Go off with each other, then we three can! Just the three of us! We don't need Heaven we don't need Hell. They are toxic! We need be away from them and just be us," he looks between the two of us.

The unfamiliar feeling in y/n's eyes spreads leaving a trail of wetness down their cheek. The wetness keeps spreading they can feel several different lines of water down my face.

Aziraphale runs up to Crowley, "Come with me to Heaven I'll run it the best and you will be my second in command! We can make a difference!"

Y/n bites her lip harshly, " What about the bookshop? What about humanity? The new food inventions you will miss out on? What about our life here!"

The two look at Y/n oddly and the new feeling in them makes them clench their eyes tight and gasp. Y/n wipes their hand across their face and looks down at the wetness in their hands. The wetness won't stop streaming down my face. This isn't right. I shouldn't be able to cry. I shouldn't feel this deeply. Nevertheless, I can't stop the water in my eyes and can't stop gasping for air that I don't even need.

Aziraphale looks at me in a way he never has before. It's the gaze humans give their offspring when they first realize the world is unfair and unjust.

"Oh Y/n, nothing lasts forever," Aziraphale says regretfully.

Y/n puts their palm to their chest and gasps, "Oh."

Crowley looks at Aziraphale with disgust, "That's how it is... good luck then."

Y/n looks up at Crowley vision blurry with newfound tears and Crowley looks back mournfully. Crowley throws his arm around Y/n's shoulder and starts to escort them out the door.

"Good luck?' Aziraphale gasps. "I don't think you know what I am offering the two of you!"

"I think the two of us know better than you do," Crowley snaps back.

Aziarphale tries to negotiate with Y/n, "Y/n, please you are supposed to be the reasonable one out of the two of you! You are no demon you are crying!"

Crowley's jaw tightens and Y/n clenches their fists harder than they have in their entire long life.

Y/n can barely gasp out, "You hear that?"

Aziraphale shakes his head rapidly, "I hear nothing!"

"Exactly, no nightingales," Y/n gasps again.

"You idiot! We could have been something! Just the three us," Crowley shouts as he leads Y/n out the door leaving a stunned and a little bit broken Aziraphale.

#good omens fanfiction #good omens x reader #crowley x reader #crowley x aziraphale #crowley x arizaphale #crowley x y/n #crowley x you #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale x y/n #aziraphale x you #aziraphale x reader #good omens drabble #good omens oneshot

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cumulo-stratus · 5 months

Text

Embrace[s.r]

spencer doesnt feel like hes anything more than his intelligence, but ethan proves him wrong.

WARNINGS- angst, internalized homophobia, self esteem issues, crying, mentions of mommy issues

college au!Ethan x college au!spencer reid ][ hurt/comfort ][ masterlist!!

a/n- ok this is actually my first ship fic and im so excited!! i've been obsessed with Ethan x spencer ever since i started writing this! hope y'all enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing <3

1.25k

there was a soft breeze drifting through the window ruffling the non-existent curtains that no college student was going to spend their little money on. Instead there were some cheap shades provided by the university.

Ethan never minded his small means, his small dorm with a small bed despite being in his junior year. The bed was big enough to fit him and Spencer and that's all he cared about.

but tonight, in the dark room they weren't sitting on top together- no Spencer was hunched over himself his body wracking sob after sob, and ethan’s arms wrapped around him. they left comforting circles on his back, and squeezed spencer tightly against his chest.

the darkened room left both boys faces wailed by shadows, hiding spencers tear track stained cheeks from his best friend.

ethan’s hushed voice was deafening over the silence of the tiny dorm room. He whispered quiet small nothings into spencers ear.

spencers cheek was smushed into his best friends shoulder, and his face was in ethan’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his worn university sweatshirt.

spencers knees were pulled to his chest in a self soothing motion, and ethan’s arm wrapped around the ball of spencer in his lap. Spencer also had his arms wrapped tightly around ethan’s waist, white knuckle gripping the back of his sweatshirt.

spencer had never felt worth more than when he was with Ethan. Ethan saw him for more than a 187 IQ or a multiple degree nerd. To Ethan, spencer was a man who had humor, deep empathy, and so so much love to give.

And it was nights like these were sometimes spencer needed a little help remembering that.

after all, thats what best friends are for right?

by two am, spencers body didn’t have any more tears to cry. He was a tired cookie sinking into his best friend’s arms.

“i, im sorry,”

spencer sounded hesitant, voice still shaky and throat still frogged. Ethan only chuckled lightly to himself, causing spencers eyebrows to knit together slightly and his head to perk up from its place on the other boys shoulder at the sound.

“spencer you've nothin to be sorry for” ethan’s soothing drawl lulled spencers worries along with the bashful smile he held for the idiotic genius in front of him.

this caused a small smile to crawl its way onto spencers lips and a blush on his cheeks.

“everyone needs a lil’ reassurance sometimes- even geniuses like you spence,”

spence. only Ethan called him spence. spencer liked when ethan called him that. the only other person who had a nickname for him was his mother, and thats a whole other can of worms filled with mommy issues we dont have time for.

these reassuring words caused the aforementioned smile to grow on his lips a centimeter or two. Spencer had now raised his head to look directly at Ethan. Their faces were so close, they could feel each others breath warming the others’ lips.

Ethan couldn't help but let his eyes drift downwards to spencer’s pink lips, the moment getting the better of him. the young genius was too busy staring into ethan’s beautiful deep brown eyes.

the bearded man tentatively lifted a hand to spencers cheek. he cupped it gently, his thumb rubbing away the tear tracks littering spencers soft cheeks. Ethan could feel the heat rising to his already warm cheeks.

this caused spencer to smile a bit, his eyes crinkling slightly from joy and bashfulness. they reminded themselves of school girls, blushing and grinning for eachother.

Ethan leaned in closer without actually touching spencers face with his, if that was possible. though it was spencer who took the final leap to close the gap.

Spencers lips felt exactly how Ethan had imagined them for months, the kiss feeling electric as they danced. Ethan had been pining for his best friend for months, but this whole experience was new for spencer. He had never really kissed anyone, and he had never really imagined it being with a man. but it felt right. like so many things had just clicked into place and spencer felt at peace in ethan’s arms

finally pulling away air, they both grinned big bashful smiles at each other. “that was nice, i like doing that. i like kissing you.” Spencer the ever logical man of science stated them as facts, though the hearts in his eyes were far from logical.

“can i kiss you again?” Ethan phrased it more like a statement than a question, but the offer still stood. instead of a response, Ethan got a kiss, which i guess one could say is a response. this time neither was caught off guard, and they could enjoy it more.

spencer felt fireworks behind his eyes to say the least.

when the pair reluctantly pulled away for air again, Ethan couldn't help but stare into spencer blown, honey brown pupils. Thais caused spencer to blush, a warmth creeping up his cheeks, blending with the buzzing lingering on his lips left by ethan’s own lips.

“i like you, ethan, like a lot”

ethan chuckled a bit, not at spencers admittance, but at the fact he fel the need to say it. “oh really spence, we practically just made out. but for the record i like you to, like a lot” Ethan had a warm smile fas as he spoke, looking down at spencer, who was still resting the side of his head against ethan’s shoulder.

spencer blushed a little when Ethan called him out, but knew he only meant it lovingly. though lovingly was the only way ethan ever spoke to spencer.

Even before spencer collapsed into his arms crying when he came over to vent about classwork, even before Ethan comforted him with no hesitation, and even before they practically made out. which was why Ethan felt the need to support

“hey spence?”

“ya?”

“you know it’s okay that you kissed a guy, ive known i was into guys since freshman year, its okay.”

spencer looked down, fiddling with his fingers like he always did. Ethan took the opportunity to take spencers hands in his. “hey, honey, look at me, it’s okay.” spencer darted his eyes up to Ethan’s and he said with an obvious frog in his throat “its okay that I kissed you, its okay that im in love with you.”

ethan’s smile was warm at spencer’s words, and he placed a peck on his cheek. “thank you handsome, thats all i wanted to hear.” spencer was even more blushy at the pet name, leaning farther into ethan’s shoulder in the hopes of obscuring his face in the other boys sweater.

“you know if your in love with me, then i think that means we should be boyfriends, right?” Ethan had a playful tone, but the questions till stood.

“i think so too, boyfriend.” spencer spoke joyfully, a smile on his face as he placed one last kiss on his now boyfriends lips.

without any other words said the new couple laid down together. spencer laid with his back resting against his boyfriends chest as he curled in on himself.

Ethan took the opportunity as the big spoon to rest in face in spencers hair, the smell of his hair gel bringing comfort.

Spencer fell asleep to the sound of ethan’s breathing and the feeling of his boyfriend’s warmth against their skin. He felt like more than enough in ethan’s arms, in ethan’s embrace.

The End

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lizzaneia-elizalde · 9 months

Note

Hey Liz, today marks a day after my birthday and I haven't cut a cake yet. My father forgot to buy me a cake which is okay i guess? Some people don't even get to cut it even once in their life, so what if this year is this way, but nonetheless I'm a little depressed, cried a little but I'm fine now..

Damon, Azreal and Amor have a special place in my heart so how about a tidbit where they see reader celebrating her birthday alone in the middle of a cold park? Hehe i think it'll cheer me up as my only birthday present this year ^^

Thanks, i love you and sorry if it's too much to ask, you can ignore it:)

-🌼

Yandere men and their Darling's lonely birthday

Aw 🌼anon, it's completely valid to feel like that. We all have our own problems and struggles, wants and desires. No need to degrade your own wants for others. Sure, it makes you somehow feel better, but sometimes thinking for yourself is okay.

Don't worry! I got your other ask correcting who the yanderes you wanted the scenarios with. But, as a small gift/bonus, I decided to add all of them!

Btw, happy belated birthday 🌼! May your days from here on out will be filled with mirth and joy, with little to no sad days (/^-^(^ ^*)/

ALSO FORGIVE ME, THE PLOT IS ALL ANGST AND I CAN'T TWIST IT TO A HAPPIER ONE--

YAN! ASSASSIN

Azrael, whistling due to another successful mission, had his mind set on finding his darling to celebrate. Although, there is a nagging feeling in his heart that he forgot something important.

Surely, if he forgot it, it's not that important. Right?

It was already night time when he passed by the abandoned park. He saw a figure in there, softly singing happy birthday to themself.

"Pfft. Loser." Azrael rolled his eyes before jogging towards the bakery to find the perfect cake to celebrate.

It was warm inside, a stark contrast to the snowy cityscape outside. It felt like a whiplash from the difference of the temperature, but did it feel good.

He remembered the figure celebrating their birthday in the park once more. He felt bad for them, so he bought hot chocolate for them to drink up with.

But, as he paid for the food, he realized he's feeling bad for a stranger. A stranger.

Strange.

The bell rang once he got out. His eyebrows scrunched up as he slowly walked towards the park. The snow scrunching beneath him.

It felt like cold water was splashed onto him when he realized something was amiss.

No, someone was amiss.

There was his darling, eating cake in the cold winter by themself. He felt his blood run cold as he's rooted to the floor. His eyes followed their movement. The way their hands slightly tremble as they used a plastic fork to eat cake. Their lips chapped and cracked from the cold.

"Darling..." He whispered, slowly going to him.

He forgot his darling's birthday...

He knelt in front of you, who was surprised to see him. You cleared your throat, clearly not wanting the pity.

"I am so sorry..." He whispered, his hand clutching his chest. His eyes wide as tears slowly formed. "I forgot your birthday. The day you were given to me..."

He didn't even ask you why you didn't tell him, why you're celebrating outside, or why you're alone.

"Darl, I got cake here too. Here! Hot chocolate. drink it. Please." Azrael whispered, siding with you and making sure that his body heat overwhelmed you.

He kissed your head, hugging your body.

Were you this small against his frame?

You were usually so cold and high strung. But in this case, even if you were complaining, guilt ate him up so much as he buried his lips on yours.

Forgive me for forgetting darling. Forgive me...

YAN! JOCK Damon bursts through the gym doors, irritated and angry by the fact that his coach extended practice for him. He didn't even bother hiding his real self as his fellow teammates pursed their lips, scared by the sudden change in Damon.

"Damon! Get back here!" The captain yelled, not aware of the sudden rage surging through his blood.

"You don't order me! You hear?!" Damon, filled with trepidation, roared out at the now stunned captain. "Because of you... Because of coach... FUCK!"

He didn't even grab his bag. Only the giant gift bag as he ran through the railings and hedges towards the parking lot.

Hopping on his motorcycle, he revved it up and sped out. He didn't even hear the guard yelling at him. All he knew is that you were waiting for him.

His jaw ticked with worry. Eyes now filled with agitation as his heart pumped through his chest.

You were already waiting for two hours.

TWO HOURS.

His phone was dead. With no outlets available, and with his useless teammates not having their phones with them too, he was dreading the clock as it ticks by.

He almost ran over people and had a huge risk of crashing on a truck just to get to you.

He didn't even bother parking in the right spot once he got to the park.

His legs, powerful as they may, felt so slow as he ran through the park's entrance.

He's so close. Please, please... He hopes you're still there.

Then, he saw a familiar head of hair.

Damon froze, before shaking off of his daze immediately.

Turning to his right, he pushed pass annoyed people and onto the denser parts of the park.

And there you are.

You don't even look sad, annoyed, or angry.

You're just quietly playing with the half eaten bento cake. You didn't even care that people were staring at you with pity, or worse, mockery.

And, when Damon arrived with a gift bag, they assumed the worse and whispered quietly amongst themselves.

He flushed red before walking towards you.

"Hey... I'm sorry i'm late..." He almost punched himself. That's the first thing he says?!

"It's okay." You sighed before shrugging. "Really."

Guilt ate him up alive as he felt the distance between you two widened greatly.

You felt so out of reach that it's almost dizzying to think of.

He shakily handed you the gift, which you gently took without a word or a peep.

"Thanks."

"I... I'm truly sorry. I swear it's not my fault. The coach, the captain, they held me back and I just..." He tried to reason, but you only smiled.

A formal, heartachingly distant smile.

Please don't leave me...

YAN! PLAYER (Genuinely speaking, Amor wouldn't forget your birthday. If he himself forgot, the gods would remind him. But if he did...)

Amor clutched his head.

He just woke up and the gods are bombarding him with messages. So mixed that he can't decipher the messages properly.

But all of them had the same tune.

"It's Y/N's birthday!"

Amor felt his heart squeeze in pain.

It's his darling's birthday?!

How could he forget?

How dare he sleeps through it?!

He scrambled upwards and to the end table. Almost hitting his skull on the headboard as he read the time.

The suddenly felt so cold when he realized it's already 10pm.

How much did he drink that he only got to wake up now?

He didn't waste any time. He immediately grabbed his coat and wore his pants. He didn't even pay attention to his butler as he made a mad dash towards the parking lot.

"God! Why is the mansion so big?!" He yelled throughout the house, his voice echoing his paranoia, announcing in the middle of the night.

When he reached the parking lot, he's already a mess. He got to the nearest car and slammed the door shut once he got inside.

The gods buzzed in his ear again, calling him useless as he could just use their powers.

"SHUT UP! I'M ALREADY PANICKING, ALRIGHT?!" For the first time in his years in this life, he felt so helpless as he bangs his head on the stirring wheel. "Please... Just tell me where they are?"

The gods whispered before one of them finally got the location.

"The park? Alright. Why are they... Whatever."

Stomping on the accelerator, he drove through the weavings of cars inside the parking lot before impatiently honking at the large garage vault door to open.

"OPEN THE GATES!" He yelled through the intercom when he passed by the garage intercom so he could just speed through without waiting for the gates to open.

It felt like a blur as he zoomed through the city. His head was spinning from the ache in his heart as he stopped at the parking lot.

He took his time, biting his already broken nails as he sped walk through the park. He doesn't even know why you were there. Maybe you had a party there?

He's hopeful. Even if he's getting insanely jealous from the prospect of you being with someone else, it was much better than being...

"Alone..." Amor whispered, his eyes glazing over with overwhelming love and pain at seeing you singing by yourself in a somewhat cheerful way.

Were you always this alone?

"Hi..." He cleared his throat, his heart aching as you looked up at him with a pleasant and excited surprise.

You looked so happy seeing him. His heart yearned to ease your loneliness.

"Uh hi, I was just passing by. And couldn't help but hear it's your birthday!" He tried to cheerfully say, but the edge of sadness was evident and he wished that you can't hear it. "And I figured hey, it's my favorite barista's birthday. Why not celebrate it! Come on, my treat. You can get all of the gifts you want!"

He gave a wide grin, now a small seed of hope planting inside of him as your eyes now held a genuine happiness in them.

I will spoil you greatly, darling. Never you will be lonely again.

YAN! VILLAIN Eros sighed, massaging his temples as he looked through the mountain of work in front of him, now reduced to a small stack.

He's happy that he got through the work the new Emperor gave him. After all, the ascension to the throne is never not the busy one. Everything needs to be smooth for the new ruler.

Once he finished, he called for his butler to give all the documents to the palace by tomorrow.

Eros got out of the room and summoned a shadow, ordering it to see what you're doing right now.

The nagging feeling that he forgot something was so strong though. He knew that something was wrong, and he just can't shake it off.

He found himself going to his room and his walk in closet, picking at the seems of one of his suits for a ball.

Then, his shadow returned.

He paled.

He hastily wore the suit, desperately yelling for maids to get inside to help him wear the outfit.

It's your birthday banquet today?! How could he forget?!

And if it's your birthday banquet, then the prince...

As the maids, confused yet still doing what he's ordering to, retouched his face, he couldn't help but feel his overprotectiveness surge through his body.

"Okay, that's enough! Out, now!" The maids bowed before scurrying away.

"Where is it?! Where is it?!"

He finally found the jewelry box in his drawer. Grabbing his late mother's (Ugh) necklace, he hastily found a velvet box to put it in.

The necklace, passed down to women of his family, will be given to you in your "anniversary"

But he doesn't give a damn about that anymore.

Swallowed by his shadows, he appeared in front of your chateau and marched upwards the stairs.

He ignored the people who greeted him, but their eyes were telling him that something happened.

"Announcing, Duke Eros!"

His eyes scanned around the ball and zeroed on Yuno and Elysia dancing in the middle of the ball. No remorse as this fiance of yours paraded his mistress.

He felt sick.

And where are you?!

He made a mad dash towards the middle and pushed away Elysia before grabbing Yuno by the collar, making the people gasp in fear.

"You fucker. You're dancing with your mistress in your fiancee's ball?! How low could you go?!" He yelled, making the people bow their heads in shame, including Yuno.

He threw Yuno to the ground, glared at Elysia, before going outside the mansion.

"Sweetheart! I'm here! Where are you?" He yelled, looking around the gardens.

He heard your soft weeps, and his protectiveness surged through him.

"Sweetheart! Where are y-- there you are." He gulped, seeing your teary eyes look up at him. His heart clenched. "What happened?"

"That lowly woman!" You spoke through unbridled tears. "She dares humiliate me on my own birthday? Telling the whole ball she slept with..."

You didn't even finish talking when you felt queasy to the stomach from the memory.

"And you... I thought you'll protect me?" You whispered, eyes brimming once more with tears. "I felt so helpless there. Their eyes felt so forebodding..."

As you sobbed through the pain, Eros's heart ached for you.

With shaky hands, he opened the velvet box and gently made you wear it. The cold jewel felt oddly warm on your skin as your senses were filled with his scent.

"I truly apologize for not being there to protect you." He whispered, brushing away your hair. "Now, shall we go back inside to let Yuno and Elysia see who are they messing with?"

I promise to protect you always, Darling. So cry in my arms, i'll brush those tears away.

YAN! HOSPITAL CHAIRPERSON

(It won't make sense for you to be in a park since you did get unwittingly imprisoned in his mansion. So, I adjusted a bit.)

Xavier had another tiring day in the hospital. It was annoying, as the stakeholders are continuously badgering him to expand his business to other ventures.

He already has his hands full with the hospitals and clinics. What more if he decided to go beyond the medical field?

He groans, driving through the night back home.

Once he got to the house though, he caught a whiff of something sweet.

Cake.

"Oh no..."

He rushed to the kitchen, not even sanitizing first.

There he saw you. Your head buried on your arms as you sat in front of the island counter. An unlit birthday cake in front of you.

It was cold, dark. The only light there is the moon illuminating your sad and lonely figure.

A cry was about to claw out of his throat as he slowly approach you.

"Hi... How's my birthday celebrant?" He winced, the shame and self anger evident on his voice. "S-surely I didn't make you wait too long..."

In denial.

Then he noticed the liquor bottles in the sink. Two bottles, empty.

He can smell the alcohol on your body. The island had a puddle of wetness too, clear and leading up to your cheeks.

A sob threatened to get out of his body as he hugged your figure.

"I'm sorry for coming home so late..." He whispered, kissing your head. "I really thought you won't want to celebrate with me... I guess i'm wrong."

He watches your body rise and fall, fully asleep and drunk.

"Let's celebrate tomorrow. No, the whole week." He whispers, putting the cake in the fridge before gently carrying you upstairs to your room.

I'll make it up to you, completely. So, sleep tight, love.

#lizzaneiaelizalde #yandere writing #yandere imagines #yandere boyfriend #yandere male #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic

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jhuzen · 2 years

Note

Hi!! I wanted to make a request if you're taking them right now! (Sorry if you aren't, feel free to just ignore!!((in love with your writing by the way it's amazing)))

My idea is Zhongli with a partner who is very usually very cheery and chaotic but very emotionally closed off. Until they get drunk for whatever reason and sobbing to Zhongli about how much they're in love with him and how he's the best thing that ever happened to them etc.

Basically just very mushy drunk reader.

Anyway, hope you're doing well, make sure to drink water and be nice to yourself!

truth serum [gn/m.reader]

asmsiskdkcmeimcwdc?? not me absolutely having fun with this godsend ask. like. tysm anon. i love it. you have no idea how amazed and happy i am to see this ask. good shit. another big brained anon ftw. also i hope i did it some justice 😭 i really enjoyed writing their chemistry,, it’s so cute hehe

𖦹 a pinch of angst, drinking, alcohol, an attempt at a cute scenario

In all the years that Zhongli has known you, there was nothing short of joy and amusement that you brought into his life. Since the day he met you up on one of the mountains he’s shaped and created, you’ve enticed him and drew him in so effortlessly and he complied, growing closer like a moth to a flame. You were the sun that everybody looked forward to — him more so.

And he wasn’t wrong with his judgment, you gave what you offered. You were the gentle glow and the warmth that radiated on the nights that he’s cold. Always blessing him with that smile of yours — how ironic was it that he was the famed archon, and yet he looked to you and worshipped you far more than anyone in the people of Liyue could ever do so with him. To him, you were the unsung deity, the person that deserved a throne but never needed one, your benevolence exceeded anyone’s expectations and anyone wouldn’t be ashamed to have you.

You are Zhongli’s pride and joy, the only one capable of forging the embers of passion that sweltered within him. You are his everything.

And even with such a kind attitude, you were no downer. You exhibited a form of exuberance that immediately drew everyone in. With that warming smile of yours, everyone wanted to be near you for a chance (though Zhongli still with the characteristics of the draconic Morax would refuse anything closer, you were his even before he staked his claim).

Said exuberance of yours often turned you into a mad riot — a whirlwind of pure excitement that anyone could barely keep up with. Zhongli had to stifle a quiet laugh when he had to come get you from Wanmin restaurant, Guoba scolding you as you tried to beat Xiangling on who can eat the most Jueyun Chilis. You lost to young girl, but Xiangling wasn’t doing any better. You tried to reason out that you were losing on purpose, but with your labored breathing and your adorably red face, Zhongli could tell otherwise.

Often times, Zhongli would get dragged into such schemes, to the point that he has to save you from plummeting down into Osial’s prison when you tried to propose to him to be your lover in the stone forest. It truly was memorable for all the wrong (and right) reasons.

You’ve endeared him when you took the leap of faith and came to him with open arms, ready to finally have him after the long-winded pining, the hinting glances he would give you, and the way the former archon only seems to care about you and only you far more than anyone else.

Being with you was nothing short of delightful. Everyday, Zhongli would wake up to your breathtaking smiles and home-cooked breakfast. You entertained his endeavors and stories that could last for days, even making remarks of your own. You bought him trinkets that ranged from something simple, to something he knew even Tartaglia’s bank would quiver at. You were perfect.

Well. Generously speaking.

By all means, you weren’t a bad partner or a lover, you gave him everything, from the material possessions, down to the intimate moments you and him shared.

It was only that there are times, when Zhongli would be left in the silence of your shared home, he would zone into those moments that were so intimate emotionally and found… that it was only him that ever shared the appreciations, the loving gratitude, and the genuine love that he feels for you. And you accepted it wholeheartedly, only to turn the other way and continue on with what you’re doing.

It worried him greatly.

Even more when his thoughts were proven right as you held him so closely as you and him laid under the shade of the tree, with him comfortably resting on top of you. He could hear your heartbeat from your chest, as he laid his ear on it, quiet thumping can be heard and if he were to listen close enough, there was a timber of kindness and love inside it.

He sighed, content and at peace within your arms, “I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated life more than now…”

“Hm? Why do you say that?” You asked, hands slowly removing itself from his waist as you played around with the strands of his hair. “You’re not dying on me, are you?” You jested and he only scoffed with no malice. Ever the joker you are, it’s ridiculous how he fell for such charms.

“I am merely appreciating the finer things in life. Madame Ping has urged me to talk more about it,” a mere white lie for him to coax out your vulnerability. Madame Ping was far too aware of his happiness now that he has you — she was always the one on the receiving end of his talk of fondness about you.

“Oh? Then what makes you appreciate this life then?”

“Complications are far behind me now that I’m no longer the one in control… everything feels so much simpler yet so intricate,” he looked up at you, chin resting on your chest as he flashed you a small smile. “All of it because now I have you. I love you, [Name]. I would give you all the stars if I could, and slay a thousand beasts to keep you from harm… you are my everything and without you, I can no longer see myself as something…”

He watched with glee as your eyes widened at his words, no doubt taken by surprise. Zhongli can feel it, your vulnerability, ready to bare itself to him with the same level of intimacy as he’s displayed. Just that, and he can be the most content man in the world.

“I— ah, that’s good.”

Zhongli blinked owlishly as you stumbled over your words. Struggled even. He felt your muscles tense up beneath him.

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy, dearest.”

He couldn’t shield you from the way his eyes flashed a smidge of hurt at your response. And you weren’t an idiot. A bit reckless to the point of trouble following you, sure, but you were far from ignorant. Especially to your lover. You frowned a little and tilted his chin up, “Hey now, don’t make that face. I’m glad you’re feeling okay in the life that you’ve been living. And I love you too,” you tried to salvage what you could but even you were aware at how lacking it was.

Zhongli wasn’t unappreciative of your efforts, but he could only nod and stomach the gnawing worry inside him as he felt your lips brush against the skin of his forehead. Surely there’s a way to pry you open, right? There was something holding you back… and he doesn’t know what.

He was aware already that despite how accepting you seem, no one has ever seen you so vulnerable. You were an individual so full of life, but you never once wore your heart on your sleeves. And if people could look past those smiles of yours that are just so full of life, they would’ve known just how closed off you truly are. It was confusing, really, and Zhongli was starting to doubt things.

If he can’t even know your true feelings… then what’s stopping you from suddenly going up and leaving, only to never come back? Zhongli was heartbroken at the thought, he can’t lose you, not in a million years and even more than that.

But how… in Teyvat is he going to pry you open?

“ALCOHOL!!”

Zhongli almost yelped as he watched the poor you crash into the cobble streets of the harbor, jolting at the sight of the infamous Crux Captain on top of your back, with an incredibly huge smile on her face. He grimaced at your weak groan. He knows you can stomach a little pain. He knows that after he watched you confront Azhdaha to help the traveler into coaxing him to give them some materials for something important.

“[Name]!! I’ve arrived with a hundred souvenirs and a thousand more kegs! Courtesy of the rich lady up top, of course.” Beidou cackled as she finally got off of you, helping you up to your feet. “Oh! Hey there! Hope you don’t mind me borrowing your beloved for awhile!” She winked at Zhongli… but from her one eye, it only seemed like a mere blink.

Zhongli tilted his head a little as the look of confusion crossed his features, “Pardon? What do you mean by that, Captain Beidou?”

You dusted off the last bits of dust on your clothing and laughed a little, “Ah, I almost forgot. Y’see, before Beidou left, she told me I owe her a challenge.”

“A challenge?” The former archon cocked an eyebrow.

“A challenge!” Beidou parroted with a loud laugh, patting your back rather strongly to the point that you almost went back down to kiss the ground. “I challenged [Name] into the greatest drinking contest ever! Them against me, of course! It’s finally time for us to prove who’s the one that can hold the most liquor in the world!”

Zhongli looked at you questioningly, and you returned it with a shrug, “It’s what she wanted. And she won’t leave me alone until I say yes. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the ship.”

“Like there was even a chance for you to say no!” Beidou laughed again before patting your back and Zhongli’s shoulder, “Alright, I’ll see you in Liuli Pavilion! The booze is waiting and I don’t want my rival backing out!”

You had to rub your back from the soreness and sighed, “Though I doubt she’ll win, you have to admire the captain’s spirit. It’s hard not to honor her request.”

Zhongli stepped nearer and fixed up the lapels of your suit, smiling a little, “You know it’s a rather unfair match, right? While the Captain is amazing, you’re basically impossible to even get drunk.”

“That may be true, but hey, who knows?”

Who knows, indeed — is what all Zhongli could say as he gawked at the many barrels of alcohol that were stacked upon each other. The captain was not kidding, she secured barrels of it even, and the spark of glee that was within her eyes was relatively alarming. He merely tagged along so he can at least help clean up, but now curiosity was lingering at the back of his mind.

He’s never once seen you drunk. Often times, it’ll be him already mumbling about on the occasions that you and him would go out and drink to unwind (often in the company of one harbinger who would always challenge you and subsequently lose). He’s even seen you offer a handicap and drink Snezhnaya’s fire water in one bottle and Tartaglia still got wasted first.

You simply held your alcohol so well. Zhongli figured maybe this was the reason for Beidou’s challenge, to finally outdo you.

And Zhongli would have called it a night if it hadn’t turned for the unexpected.

But before that, expectantly, Beidou was out. She couldn’t beat you, and probably not even a million years. But she managed far more than any other human out there, swigging drink after drink with little to no care, keeping up with you all the more. It was almost inhuman, really, to see her empty the huge beer glass with so much gusto, the accompanying snacks as chasers left to the crew members who were also around to witness their captain’s victory.

And when she finally tapped out, surprisingly, you… you were already drunk.

Zhongli waited in bated breath as you and him were the only ones awake in the establishment. He was positive even the owners had to have dozed off with how long this competition has been going on already.

“Z…Zhooooong…zhongzhong…” you murmured and he was already by your side in a flash.

“Dear? Are you alright?” The concern inside him was quelled as he watched your flushed cheeks brighten even more. You’ve had one too many to the point that you were barely coherent. He was surprised to say the least — seeing you so feverish and so drunk.

“Zhonnnngggzzzzzzzli,” he blinked as you looked up, letting go of the beer glass you had in your hand. “Did I… win?”

“Sure did. We’re the only ones awake.” He laughed.

You raised a wobbly and weak fist in victory, “H….Hhhh…. Y-Yep. D-Das’right… I am the… undefeated champ,” your fist landed softly on the back of Beidou’s head, bonking her slightly with a slurred grin, “Take that… you… sea lady thing…”

Zhongli sighed a little, it was definitely in your fashion to get yourself into this kind of situation. Definitely your style to agree to something as ridiculous as a drinking contest and get drunk for the very first time. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips, “I will go get you some water and carry you home, yes?” He said and you nodded.

Only that when he did stand up to get water, you pulled him back down from his coattails, making him sit on your lap.

“[Name], I…”

“Shhhshshshshhh, no. Shush.” You huffed, enveloping his waist with your arms as you buried your face into his chest. He let out a breath, “Shush.” You chided and Zhongli obliged, trying to breathe quietly… however that’s done.

You and him stayed in silence, and he relished in the feeling of you within him. It was a sight to behold, something he will definitely remember for all eternity.

“Zhongli…” you murmured into the fabric of his coat, he only let out a quiet hum in response, playing with your hair like you did with him before. “I love you.”

“I know, dear. And I lo—”

“No!” You suddenly yelled and one of the crew members stirred at your volume, but you could care less. You lifted your head from his chest and held his shoulders, pulling him back a little as you looked at him square in his eyes. “I. Really. Love. You.”

Zhongli smiled a little and nodded. But you cut him off before he could say it back again, “I don’t think you realize just… how much… I love you. It’s ridiculous. I love you so much that it’s soooo annoying,” you drawled and the former archon had to wonder what you meant.

Lucky him that you were going to tell anyway. It seemed as though a moment of sobriety and clarity came upon you, as your lazy slurring left your system while you spoke.

“You… are probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I know I don’t say it much, but,” you hiccuped and Zhongli only then saw the tears cascading down your face, “I really, really, really love you so much. You have no idea how much it broke me when I saw your face before. You looked so sad, Zhongli, so, so, soooo sad. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before, love. I don’t know what came over me, and I—!”

“Oh dear,” an airy chuckle left Zhongli’s parted lips as he watched you suddenly break open the emotions you held in your indestructible dam, flowing through like the tears in your eyes.

“I just— I just… I just!!! I just love you so much, man! Y-You treat me so well and give me all that I hope for!” You wailed so dramatically and Zhongli had to wonder if anyone woke up (he hopes not for the sake of your dignity and that he only wishes to be the only man to see this side of you), “Zhongli, I will marry you. It’s not even a want to do kind of thing anymore, I-I feel like if I don’t have you, I will die.”

It wasn’t even your intention, but soon tears pricked at the ends of his eyes, sniffling at your display, “Let’s hope we do not come to that point, yes?”

You pouted a little, “…Yes… Anyway… I’m… sorry I couldn’t say much… it’s hard for me, I guess,” you confessed and Zhongli understood. He always will for you. “But please understand… that if I also could, I would bring you not just stars but all worlds, that for your safety, I will not just kill a thousand threats but also build the strongest home… I will do it all for you…”

Suddenly, the fears within Zhongli were quelled and sent away as you finally gave out, letting him know that his worries were nothing but anxiety and that he will always have a place in your heart. He could feel his cheeks warm at your proposition earlier of tying the knot, even he couldn’t resist the giddiness that flooded his system at your drunken promise. It was enough for him to know that you still loved him even when it was expressed through a drunken honesty.

“…I love you… Zhongzhong…” you took your final shred of consciousness to breathe out your little declaration, eyes finally closing as you gave into the blissful slumber.

He cupped your cheeks and pecked your lips with a content smile, “I love you too, [Name].”

Zhongli was right about himself when you finally laid your feelings to him so openly. Because right now, he can confidently claim that he is most content man in the world.

#this fic is just me flexing my high alcohol tolerance too #shsjsidmc #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact x male reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #zhongli x gn reader #zhongli x male reader #zhongli x reader #jhuzen’s stupid one shots

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whitesparrows97 · 2 years

Text

Not quite the same – Part 6

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid!Jungkook x Dog Hybrid!Reader

Summary: You had always thought that your home with your family was the final stop. After your owners abandon you and a storm drives you into the nearby forest, you think things can’t get any worse. At least until you run right into the arms of a pack of wolves.

Genre: Hybrid AU; angst, smut, fluff

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Making out, grinding, dirty talk, Y/N having a little bit too much fantasy (in more than one way); also the ANGST is starting

Word Count: 7.9K

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A/N: Hello, hello!!! I didn’t plan on going on hiatus for as long as I did, but the healing process of the surgery turned out to be a little bit more difficult than expected. I’m all right now, so please don’t worry! Thank you for your sweet messages though, they really helped me through some not so great days! I’m also really excited about writing again, as this story finally takes up a little bit more speed. As always, please read the warning, it’s getting intense now. I hope you’re all doing well and are just excited about this chapter as I am! Sending my love to everyone xx

Stepping outside onto the terrace for the first time in ten days, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Fresh air filled your lungs and a weight seemed to lift from your shoulders. Even though you were used to being locked up, you would probably never get used to it. None of the others had explicitly told you to stay in Taehyung’s room, but you hadn’t been in the mood to go out or talk to the others for the past few days. The short conversations with Seokjin and Namjoon, who had taken turns to bring you food had been enough social contact for you.

Now, however, you couldn’t stop grinning when you saw Jimin and Taehyung digging up the soil of the flower beds with shovels and spades. You had spent the last few days watching the others working in the garden from Taehyung’s window after hearing voices and laughter outside. The image of Jungkook came into your head; shirtless, kneeling and concentrating on his work digging up the earth, sweaty skin illuminated by the sun.

You swallowed.

“Y/N!” Taehyung shouted as he caught sight of you and waved effusively.

This snapped you out of your thoughts and with a laugh on your lips, you headed towards them. Jimin stood up as well.

“How are you feeling?” he asked when you stopped beside them.

“Better,” you replied. The night before your heat ended, but had taken the precaution of waiting until morning to get enough rest. The suppressants that Namjoon had gotten you from Marten had drained your body. The first night you had thrown up and you had had to convince Seokjin to keep taking them.

But it had been worth it to you, because you had been dying to see the others again.

“You must be here because you want to help us with the gardening, right?” Taehyung grinned and nudged you with his shoulder. “Jungkookie actually promised us too. I don’t know where he is.” He looked toward the house with his eyebrows drawn together.

You followed his gaze and new joy rose in you as you thought of the other hybrid. “Why are you even awake already, Taehyung?”

Jimin snorted at your comment and you didn’t miss the evil look Taehyung gave him.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Taehyung pouted and picked up the shovel from the ground to continue digging. This time with a little more force than necessary.

“Not that easy when you have to share the room, huh?” Jimin looked at the other with a grin.

“I’ll let Seokjin know that you can move back into your room, Taehyung.” You felt bad that Taehyung couldn’t sleep well because you were occupying his room.

However, to your surprise, he looked at you and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s okay, you needed the room more than me.” He gave Jimin a quick sideways glance. “Even though Jiminie’s a real pain in the ass. I didn’t know anyone could toss and turn so much in their sleep.”

Jimin pouted. “You should be thankful, you could have slept on the sofa and you know how early Seokjin-Hyung always gets up.”

Taehyung paused. Then he nodded in agreement. “I guess you’re right about that. But we’ll have to solve the room arrangement in the future.”

Heat rose in your cheeks and you looked intently at the tips of your shoes, which were digging into the loose earth. Jungkook’s comment came back to your mind that you could share a room. Deep in thought of the upcoming conversation with him, you didn’t notice how your tail had begun to sway from side to side. The movement was amplified when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Sorry, sorry! Seokjin put me on kitchen duty, but I’m here now–”

You turned around and the smile was on your lips before your eyes even met. Jungkook had sprinted down the steps of the patio and then stopped in place when he caught sight of you.

“Hey.” His voice sounded deeper than you remembered. His still-damp hair stuck to his forehead, and with an absent movement he brushed it back.

“Hi,” you said, quieter than he did and strangely out of breath. Not even two seconds later you had thrown yourself into his arms, which wrapped tightly around your body at the same moment. You inhaled deeply. Under the soap and detergent of his clothes you could clearly make out his scent and you pressed your nose even harder against his chest. Then you felt his nose in your hair.

“I missed you,” he murmured very close to your ear, which twitched slightly and you thought you felt him press a kiss to the place where your ear disappeared in your hair.

You hummed contentedly and pressed yourself a little tighter against him.

You almost forgot about the other two standing just a few feet away from you. Until Jimin eventually cleared his throat, causing you and Jungkook to flinch. You detached yourselves from each other, if you could call it that. Jungkook still had his arm around your shoulders and had you pressed against his side while his focus was on the other hybrid.

Jimin scowled at Jungkook. “You’re late, you promised to help us.”

“That’s what I was trying to explain,” Jungkook said, rolling his eyes with a smile on his lips. “Seokjin made me do the dishes and I had to do that first because someone didn’t do them last night.” He gave Taehyung a meaningful look. The latter, however, was exceptionally focused on his task of pulling weeds and seemed oblivious to the conversation.

“All right,” Jimin said, lowering his folded arms. “You’ll get away with it this time. Will you two get some tools from the shed?”

“Will do!”

With that, Jungkook had grabbed your hand and was pulling you toward the shed, which was almost at the edge of the clearing. The closer you got to it, the more clearly you saw that the others must have been repairing the roof. Boards of different shades of wood were in place like a patchwork quilt, holding up to the rain and storms. The door squeaked as Jungkook opened it and the only light that fell into the otherwise dark shed came through the small window across from the door. It smelled slightly musty in here, possibly a bit like mold, but mostly like earth and grass.

“Do you need gloves?” asked Jungkook, who was already digging in a box while you were still looking around. You wondered if the others had all the equipment from Marten. “Hmm, can you try these on?”

He held out a pair of gloves to you and as you slipped into them and they slid over your fingers far too easily, Jungkook laughed.

“Okay, these might be a little too big.” He grabbed the fingertips that weren’t even close to being filled by your fingers and pulled the gloves back off your hands. “We don’t have any other size, unfortunately. Jimin grabbed the smallest ones.”

“That’s okay,” you said. Your eyes fell on a small shovel and a box of a wide variety of seeds. “I can help plant them. And I have no problem touching the soil.”

There was silence between you as you took various little bags out of the box and looked at them. You were so engrossed in reading the various inscriptions – tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, strawberries – that you didn’t notice Jungkook’s gaze on you.

It wasn’t until he mumbled your name, that you looked up. “I’m sorry I left you alone like that with your heat.” He looked from you down to his feet. “And didn’t even visit you. Jin-Hyung told me not to.”

You lowered the box to the floor, straightened up, and took a few steps towards Jungkook. “You don’t need to apologize for that.” The situation just before you had last seen Jungkook had shown all too clearly that Seokjin’s decision had probably been the right one.

Jungkook shook his head and emitted a frustrated grunt before his gaze found yours again. “It still wasn’t fair. I wouldn’t have done anything! Especially nothing you wouldn’t want me to.”

You had to smile. “I think that’s what Seokjin’s concern was, though. That we’d both do something rash because we both wanted to.”

The corners of Jungkook’s mouth twitched up slightly as well, but the crease of frustration between his eyebrows hadn’t quite disappeared yet. You took one last step towards him, so that the tips of your feet almost touched his, and brushed your thumb over it. You watched the skin under your finger relax.

Jungkook grabbed your wrist and turned it so that the inside was facing him. Your eyes met as the tip of his nose touched your wrist and only left each other when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I think I’ve told you this before,” he murmured, running the tip of his nose along the veins on your wrist, “but you smell amazing.”

A smile spread across your lips. “You can tell me as much as you want.” You raised your free hand and watched as your fingertips slid through his hair. When your fingernails lightly scratched his scalp, a satisfied rumble filled the shed. He pressed his nose even closer to your skin for a moment before finally disengaging from your wrist and letting it sink back to your side.

You heard his heartbeat beating fast and strong and one of your own rushing in your ears. Before you knew it, you had moved closer until his forehead finally touched yours. A hand clutched your hip and pulled you against him until your breasts touched his torso. The air escaped you as your torsos met.

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?”

A short laugh escaped you and you shook your head. “Not yet.”

“Then you’ve got plans now. I’ll show you my favorite place here in the woods.”

“Is this a date?” You leaned back a little to look at Jungkook. His eyes reflected the grin he wore on his lips. Then he nodded.

But before you could say anything, the door of the shed was pulled open. The light blinded you for a moment before you realized that Jimin was standing in the doorway.

He had his hands on his hips and was glaring at the two of you. “I know you can’t keep your hands off each other,” he began, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks for the second time today. “But leaving Taehyung and me alone to do the gardening isn’t nice. We’re counting on you guys.”

“We didn’t do anything,” you affirmed, but Jimin only raised his eyebrows. Suddenly you were aware of how close you and Jungkook were as you felt his chest against your cheek.

“Oh yeah, sure, of course not,” Jimin said as he was already turning around and heading back to Taehyung.

For a moment, you and Jungkook stood there silently, both of your eyes fixed on the still-open door of the shed, before Jungkook began to laugh softly.

Immediately, your head snapped up to him. “Stop laughing.” You wanted to hit his chest, but he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers together.

Small wrinkles were still visible even when Jungkook had already stopped laughing. With a smile, he looked into your eyes.

Then he detached himself from you and bent down to the watering can he had already taken from the shelf and gave you the small shovel with which you could easily dig the holes for the seeds. Jungkook tucked the box of seeds under his arm.

“Let’s go,” Jungkook said euphorically, “before Jimin gets even more obnoxious,” he added quietly so the other hybrid couldn’t hear him. You still had to laugh.

Taehyung showed you how deep you had to dig the holes and that you shouldn’t pour the soil over them too tightly so that the seeds would easily find their way to the surface. Jungkook helped you by watering the freshly planted seeds with a little water. You worked your way through the morning like this until the sun beat down on your heads.

“Oh! Look,” you suddenly called out, crouching down. “An earthworm.” You leaned forward until the tip of your nose almost touched the damp earth. The earthworm wriggled from one direction to the other. Shadows appeared beside you, covering the earthworm.

“He probably got lost and thought it was raining,” Jimin explained.

“You’ve never seen an earthworm before, Y/N?” Taehyung asked, without sounding accusing.

“Only from books that my owners gave me,” you replied, watching intently as the earthworm dug its way back into the ground. “And I think I saw one in the street once when it was raining. But I was pulled away before I could get a closer look.”

There was silence for a moment, during which the four of you watched the worm disappear completely into the earth.

“Geez,” Taehyung said, “your owners were jerks.”

“Taehyung,” Jimin said, shoving him against the shoulder so that he fell backwards onto his butt.

“What? It’s true.”

“Still, you don’t have to blurt it out like that.” Jimin continued to argue with Taehyung, but you kept your eyes on Jungkook, who had crouched down next to you.

“Did you know that earthworms come out of the ground when it rains because the tunnels they have dug are flooded?” You shook your head and Jungkook ran his fingers through the soil to loosen it up. “There are some birds that stomp on the ground, imitating rain. Then the earthworms think it’s raining and leave their shelter in the earth.”

You gasped. “Oh no, the poor earthworms.” You looked sadly at the small pile of soil the earthworm had left behind as it burrowed back into the earth.

Jungkook laughed softly when he heard your tone. “You’re cute.” He leaned to the side and pressed a kiss to your cheek so quickly that he was up before you even realized what had happened.

When Seokjin stepped out onto the terrace and called you to lunch, you could still feel his lips on your skin.

. . .

A thought solidified throughout the day and didn’t let you rest during dinner. When the conversation turned to the next grocery shopping trip and Namjoon and Seokjin began planning who would drive to town next, you plucked up your courage. Although you had never learned how to handle money, you knew that the money your former owners had given you would not last forever.

You followed the conversations that were thrown back and forth like balls between the others and waited for the right moment. Several times you started to speak, only for one of the others to beat you to it and close your mouth again. You wondered if perhaps you should discuss the issue privately with Namjoon.

Jungkook sensed your nervousness and squeezed your thigh. Once briefly and very fleetingly, but still you felt your jaw relax as you stopped pressing them together.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jungkook as you let out a frustrated breath. Jungkook’s question, even though it was asked quietly, drew the attention to the others, so that a second later, five pairs of eyes were on you. The conversations had fallen silent.

Out of reflex, you ducked your head and flattened your ears, unsettled by so much sudden attention. You sought Namjoon’s gaze. “I heard you and Seokjin talking, and I know you’re worried about money.”

Astonishment flitted across his face, but was gone as quickly as it had come. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I do, though,” you objected. “The next few months will be a little easier because we’ll have plenty of food to plant and lots of animals in the forest. But what will we do when it gets colder? How did you guys survive the last few winters?” Jimin and Taehyung avoided your gaze, while Seokjin looked thoughtfully at Namjoon.

He, in turn, straightened up so that he was sitting bolt upright in his chair and looked a few more inches taller. “We’ll get by. We have been for the last few years.”

You snorted. “And how? By a hair’s breadth and just barely?” For a moment you paused. “You let me live here without expecting anything from me. But with me, you have the possibility that we can afford more.”

“That’s out of the question,” Namjoon interrupted you.

“I have a work permit–”

“And what if they check with your owners?”

“Then I’ll put your phone number in the contact information.”

“That’ll never work.”

“Why are you resisting this so much, Namjoon? I’m trying to help you, why don’t you want my help?”

Namjoon had fallen silent and looked at you blankly. A thought formed; like a parasite, it bore into your mind.

When you spoke, your voice was very quiet. “Is it because you don’t want to depend on me? Is it because you hope I’ll leave in the next few days?”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t expect that statement. “Why, do you want to leave?” he asked.

Jungkook beat you to the punch with his answer. “What kind of stupid question is that?” He had straightened up in his chair next to you and leaned forward, resting his palms on the table. “I thought we settled that matter? You promised me we’d include her in the pack!”

Your heart sank when you heard that. There was nothing you would have liked more than to finally be accepted. To finally arrive. Slowly you lowered your eyes and stared at your entwined hands. Your eyes burned as thoughts popped into your head. Namjoon had just been gracious enough not to kick you out in your heat. But it had never been in his interest to include you in the pack. Him no longer assuming you belonged to RCH and trusting you enough to take you into the family were two very different things.

“She could work for Marten,” Taehyung suggested. Some warmth spread through you when you heard that he also stood up for you.

“True, he wouldn’t ask about her owners either,” Jimin agreed. Still keeping your gaze on your hands, the smile he gave you escaped you.

The loud and sudden slam of a flat hand on the wooden table made you wince. Dishes clanged for a brief moment before silence fell.

When Namjoon spoke, his voice was controlled. But you heard the effort behind it as he spoke the next words slowly and clearly. “If I say no once, that must be enough for you as an answer. If I say that Y/N will not work – whether for Marten or for someone else – then you must accept that.” He paused for a moment. “Do you understand?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the others nod. You, on the other hand, remained sitting motionless. Even though you knew they had no choice but to agree, you felt betrayed.

“But what is–”

“I know what you want to say, Jungkook,” Namjoon interrupted him. “And you should know that I don’t like having words put in my mouth.” You felt Namjoon’s gaze on you, but didn’t dare look up. “I’ll ask you again, Y/N. Do you want to stay with us?”

Silently, but without hesitation, you nodded.

“Good,” he said. You didn’t know what was good about the fact that you wanted to stay with them but Namjoon objected. You were all the more surprised when Namjoon spoke the next words. “Then we’ve settled that. I never said I wanted to get rid of you, Y/N.” His voice, which now sounded far softer than before, finally made you look up. “All I said was that I didn’t want you to work. It has nothing to do with you, it has to do with other factors.”

“What factors?” you mumbled.

Namjoon sighed. It was the first time you had heard that sound come out of his mouth, and if you didn’t know better, he almost sounded frustrated.

“I can’t say much about that yet if I’m not sure myself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Jungkook. The irritation hadn’t completely disappeared from his voice, yet he sounded far more relaxed than he had just a few moments before.

“Namjoon,” Seokjin interjected, “we’re a family. You should tell the others.”

Namjoon closed his eyes for a moment and you saw his chest rise and fall significantly as he took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, your eyes met.

“It’s not Y/N I don’t trust. It’s Marten.”

“Marten?” came from several mouths at once.

“Namjoon thinks that Marten is acting strangely,” Jin clarified.

Namjoon turned to the side and looked at him. “When I walked into his office, I felt like I caught him in something. Like I interrupted him doing something. He was all agitated,” he explained, gesturing wildly with his hands. “He put a note in his jeans pocket that he didn’t want me to see. I’m sure he’s hiding something.”

“Namjoon…” Seokjin put a hand on his upper arm. “This doesn’t have to have anything to do with us. We’re not his only customers, so who knows what kind of shady people he’s dealing with.”

But Namjoon shook his head. “My hunch has never been wrong before. Not with that asshole four years ago, and not now.”

“But you were wrong about Y/N.” Jungkook had grabbed your hand and was sitting upright beside you.

“That’s right.” Namjoon nodded and turned his gaze back to you, “And I apologized for that.”

“It’s okay,” you said softly, and Jungkook squeezed your hand.

“Does that mean we won’t go to Marten anymore when we need help?” asked Taehyung.

“I’d prefer if we try to manage without him for the next few weeks,” Namjoon confirmed. “Just to be on the safe side.”

. . .

You sat on your bed, your legs pulled up against you, looking out the window into the cloudless night. The sky was speckled with tiny white dots and you wondered how far away the myriad stars were from you. Whether someone was staring out the window at the same time as you, on a completely different planet far away, asking themselves the same questions as you.

The door to the room opened and you quickly wiped your face with the back of your hand.

“I brought my bedding–” Jungkook fell silent. Then footsteps quickly approached. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook lower himself onto the bed, but you dodged his gaze that was on you.

“Hey, what happened? Is this because of what Namjoon said?”

You shook your head and tears flew from your cheeks onto the bedspread, staining the light blue material dark. Sniffling, you looked up. Jungkook’s ears were folded back and his lips pressed into a straight line.

“It’s fine,” you placated him, “I just get sad sometimes when I think about my owners. I think it’s just all a bit much for me right now.”

“I understand that!” Jungkook said, moving a little closer so he could clasp your hands with his. “Well, not the part about the owners, my owners were shit. But I know what it’s like to lose a family.”

You released one hand from Jungkook’s grip and wiped your face with another sniffle. “What happened back then? I only know the part about how you and Jimin joined Namjoon and Jin. What was your life like before that?”

Jungkook expelled a long breath and played with your fingers as he thought. The silence stretched for several seconds. “Different,” he finally said. “Definitely lonelier than now.”

You frowned when you heard that.

“I don’t know exactly how many hybrids we were, maybe around a hundred? A hundred and fifty?”

“A hundred and fifty?!” You had never seen so many hybrids in one place, not even at the shelter. There you had been divided up, by breed, age and sex.

Jungkook just smiled at your exclamation. “I know, it’s hard to imagine. And it wasn’t always easy… actually, it never was. As far back as I can remember, there was always fighting between different packs. Everyone wanted to be first on the food chain, because whoever was at the top had the best chance of survival.”

“That sounds terrible.” You clasped Jungkook’s hands tighter.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Looking back, it was, but I didn’t know any different. And I was never alone, so that was quite nice. I still was really lonely though. I only got to know what a family was when I met Jimin.”

“Was that the time of the Jungkook who would never have watched romance movies?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment before a laugh fell from his lips. “Of course you haven’t forgotten Jimin’s comment.” He shook his head, his expression getting a bit more serious. “I’ll be honest with you, Y/N. I wasn’t always the sweet, reserved hybrid you see sitting here in front of you. I was really rebellious, even when I joined Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung.”

“A rebel?” Now you had to laugh, because you couldn’t imagine how the dark-haired wolf in front of you, with his gentle smile and soft hands, could have been so different.

“I was unbearable,” Jungkook nodded. “I thought that only loud, tough-minded hybrids made it up the food chain. And that’s how it was back then. The louder, the more popular you were with those who sat at the top.”

“Where were your owners in all of this? Did they just leave you to your own devices?”

“Not necessarily,” Jungkook replied. He avoided your gaze, but you followed his eyes with your head, making him look at you. “My first owners didn’t care about me so I eventually ran away. I got picked up pretty quickly by an organization, that’s where I met Jimin. When we were old enough, they took us to fights.”

Your heart stopped for a brief moment. One word and immediately your heart began to race. How many times had you read about it in the newspapers, seen it on the news, before your owners had been able to switch away? The secret arenas that made millions of dollars selling tickets to people who spent their free time watching living beings hurt each other. The countless hybrids who didn’t come back alive from those same fights.

When you spoke your voice was very quiet. “Did you have to participate in one, too?” You didn’t even want to say the word.

“One time they made me fight. That’s why I have this scar,” he pointed to his cheekbone, where a small indentation in the skin was visible. Gently, you touched it.

“Do you have any more scars?”

Jungkook shrugged as if you were talking about trifles and not a traumatizing experience. “A few, I might show them to you sometime. They’re hidden though.” He said the last sentence with a grin and before you knew it, he had planted a kiss on your forehead. “Now enough of all the negativity. I was actually trying to cheer you up, not worry you more.”

“You don’t worry me, Jungkook,” you said, “I care about you and I want to know what happened in your life before me. At least the part you want to share with me.”

Jungkook clicked his tongue and tilted his head. “That might take a while if you want me to tell my whole life story.”

You laughed and leaned forward. Jungkook caught you and wrapped you in his arms. His fingers slid through your hair and as his fingertips began to tickle the base of your ears, you let out a sigh.

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”

“Me too,” Jungkook murmured, resting his head on yours. “I think you’ll really like this place. I know some pretty good spots.”

You had to chuckle. “You know some spots, huh?” You leaned back and looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Is that where you take all your dates?”

“Uh-huh.” Jungkook’s attention was no longer on your eyes, but had slid down a few inches. “All the hundreds that roam the forest here every day. Haven’t you noticed that yet?”

“Must have missed it,” you returned, subconsciously licking your lips as you noticed what Jungkook was staring at. His grip on your body tightened as his gaze followed your tongue and the wet sheen it left behind.

“Fuck, you’re driving me crazy, do you know that?”

“Maybe,” you said with a grin. “Maybe I do.”

Jungkook’s eyes met yours, and only now did you see how dilated his pupils were. Almost black, they stared at you before Jungkook blinked several times and the dark brown reappeared.

“Tomorrow,” he said, squeezing your sides. “Tomorrow.” And that sounded like a promise you could hardly wait for.

. . .

Jungkook swung your clasped hands back and forth as you followed the narrow path of trampled grass through the thicket of the forest. You studied him from the side; the way his eyes roamed over the trees and bushes, his ears turned in different directions, and he took in every sound in your surroundings as he led you both through the forest. There was not a trace of uncertainty or doubt on his face, and you found it remarkable that he knew his way around so well. Even though you knew that he and the others had lived here for a few years, you still admired him for his knowledge of how to get around.

You decided to ask him if one day he would teach you to rely more on your senses. All the years before, you had had to suppress your instincts so that they eventually withered away. But that was no longer necessary and you wanted to strengthen them again.

A twig cracked and you turned your head. Your hand wrapped a little tighter around Jungkook’s.

“Just a rabbit,” Jungkook reassured you, squeezing your hand.

You, too, now saw the small gray tuft of fur scurry past across the path behind you. Consciously, you focused on the scent it left behind and how it mingled with that of the damp earth, wood and leaves.

You turned back to the front and met Jungkook’s gaze. “I’m a little jumpy, sorry.”

“It’s all right, you don’t need to apologize for that. The sound of the forest can be scary at first.” He smiled. As you looked down at him, your eyes fell on the woven basket dangling from his other arm. The faint scent of freshly cut fruit, sandwiches and steaming tea had you humming softly as you continued to follow Jungkook.

You finally came to a stop in front of a tree about half an hour’s walk from home. All around you, you saw only tree trunks, grasses, and bushes, and you wondered why Jungkook had chosen this particular spot for your picnic.

For your first date together.

Jungkook spread the checkered blanket on the ground and settled down on it, grinning. Then he patted the spot next to him and quickly you dropped down next to him. Laughing, Jungkook caught you. His hands stroked up and down your arms a few times before he turned and pulled the picnic basket towards you.

“Seokjin-hyung baked fresh bread especially for us,” Jungkook said, placing different varieties of sandwiches on the blanket in front of you.

“Oh, that’s what smelled so good earlier.”

Seokjin had blocked your view with his body when you had gotten up and came down to the kitchen. That’s why you hadn’t been able to see what he had prepared for you and Jungkook. You were even more surprised when Jungkook didn’t stop taking things out of the basket.

Fresh fruit, vegetables from the garden, a few pieces of cake, the sandwiches… even a bottle with a cloudy juice Jungkook placed in front of you.

“Apple juice from the apple harvest this year,” Jungkook explained when he saw your questioning look.

You turned the bottle around and stroked the self-written label on it, which revealed in neatly written letters what was inside. “Where did you learn all this? To take care of yourselves I mean.”

Jungkook leaned forward to look into the basket, but then put it away when he realized he had unpacked everything. “Seokjin and Namjoon had no choice but to teach themselves everything. We all acquired things so we could survive. And if I’m honest,” Jungkook said, “it’s not that hard. Gardening is even fun, and there’s something soothing about watching the plants sprout and flourish.”

“I had fun yesterday, too,” you agreed, “even though I don’t know anything about it and you had to help me a lot.”

“Oh nonsense! You were a natural.”

Laughing, you bit into one of the sandwiches, knowing that Jungkook was just being nice to you. You still had a lot to learn, but as you listened inside of you, you found a deep peace within yourself. Because you knew that you would still have all the time in the world – as part of the pack and at Jungkook’s side.

You had just stuffed the last bite of the cake into your mouth when Jungkook suddenly took you by the hand. “Come with me,” he said, and led you to the tree trunk that had blended inconspicuously into the rows of other trees just a few minutes before. Now, as you looked up the tree from close by, you could spot a platform at the top.

Excitedly, you began to wag your tail. “Is that what I think it is?” With wide eyes, you looked at Jungkook, who laughed at your reaction.

“If you think it’s a tree house, then yes.”

“Oh my god,” you gasped breathlessly, touching the bark of the tree with one hand as your gaze roamed over the branches. So many times you had tried to persuade your former owners to build a tree house in the big tree in the backyard. But after they had told you several times that this would be too dangerous for a hybrid like you, you had eventually given up.

“Come on, what are we waiting for?” Jungkook wrapped his hands around a thick branch, then his feet followed before he maneuvered himself onto the branch with the swing of one leg. You could only stand and stare. “Let me help you,” he said as he saw your helpless look. Then he held out a hand to you, which you grasped hesitantly. “Support yourself on the branch with your other hand, and I’ll pull you up.”

His grip on your hand was firm, and as you gripped the tree trunk with your other hand, you felt weightless for a moment. Then Jungkook reached under your arms and helped you up. Your legs trembled a little as you looked down where you had been standing moments before.

A finger slid under your chin and lifted your gaze. “Don’t look down, you’ll get dizzy.”

“And then how do we get back down?”

Jungkook made a sad face. “You don’t want to go back down already without seeing the view, do you?”

You tilted your head – the platform didn’t seem so far away anymore. Looking at Jungkook, you nodded, “Okay, but only if you help me.”

“Sure thing.” He squatted down, then looked up at you. “Ready?”

You nodded.

He grabbed your hips and lifted you up so you could grab the branch above you and pull yourself up with a little effort. When Jungkook was sure you had a firm footing, he followed. Like this you made your way up the next few meters until you finally arrived at the top of the tree and you no longer had branches but wooden planks under your feet.

You took a shaky breath and leaned exhausted against the tree trunk, which grew through a hole in the floor of the platform. Only when your arms were no longer shaking with exertion did you look around. The tree house was much more of a viewing platform. A small hole next to the tree trunk was the only entrance, enclosing the platform all around was a waist-high wooden railing, so you couldn’t fall off.

“Who built this?” you asked, taking a few steps forward so that you were standing at the railing. Any more words stuck in your throat when you saw the view.

“Seokjin, Jimin and I,” Jungkook explained, stepping up beside you, “do you like it?”

Mouth agape, you let your gaze wander over the treetops you could see over. You could even make out the road in the distance that led to the town you had come from. The sunset bathed the green of the leaves in an orange glow and made you perceive the forest as something completely different. No longer was it eerie and gloomy, something you needed to be protected from. But something that felt familiar. Warm. Almost like home.

You had to swallow and cleared your throat to relieve the lump in your throat. “It’s beautiful,” you croaked out. A tear ran down your cheek as you looked at Jungkook, who was already returning your gaze. He quickly wiped the tear away with his thumb.

“I could say something really corny right now.”

You turned to face him and immediately one hand settled on your hip while the other stroked from your cheek backwards, eventually burying itself in your hair.

“What?” you asked when he gave no further answer. Your gaze fell to his lips before quickly darting back up.

“I could say right now,” he began and had to clear his throat as well. For a different reason, though. “That the view isn’t as beautiful as you.”

You grimaced, pretending to be disgusted. “So that’s what kind of guy you are.”

Jungkook pulled you closer with a slight tug. “That’s the kind of guy I am,” he murmured, his gaze fixed on your lips. “Do you want to kiss me anyway?” He was so close to you by now that you could feel his breath on your face.

“Hmm,” you said, pretending to think even though your heart was pounding up to your throat. “After that sentence, I’m not so sure.”

“At least then I won’t be able to do any more of those.” His voice was low and with each syllable you could feel the touch of his lips against yours.

“Deal.” You bridged the last millimeter until your lips were on his. Immediately he pressed himself tighter against you, so that no sheet of paper could fit between your bodies. His fingertips scraped lightly over your scalp and you sighed into the kiss. A grumble emerged from Jungkook’s chest; deep, but not at all threatening. On the contrary, you felt yourself fall into his arms and relax completely.

Your lips moved together, his tongue exploring your mouth, fighting with yours for a moment before pulling back and dragging your lower lip with his teeth.

Your much-too-fast breath hit Jungkook’s chin as you looked down, laughing, at your intertwined bodies. You couldn’t wait until you saw them without clothes, feeling his skin on yours. As you ran your fingers along his pecs, he shuddered. You could feel the abs under his t-shirt and paused for a moment as your fingers reached the waistband of his jeans. They played with the buckle of his belt until Jungkook’s hand gently tightened around your wrist.

“Soon,” he promised. Then he pressed a kiss to your cheek, your temple, your forehead. Every little bit of skin on your face he explored with his lips until he reached your mouth again. His hand stroked your back; giving you the hold you needed as Jungkook intensified the kiss. His satisfied grunt sent electric shocks down the center of your body and as if on its own, you pushed your hip against his.

You sucked in air as you felt him hard between your legs, but it wasn’t enough. Jungkook seemed to feel the same way. For a brief moment, his promise was forgotten as he let his hand wander down, gripping your butt so tightly that you gasped again, pressing your pelvis tightly against his.

“Jungkook,” you groaned out.

The tip of his nose tickled your temple before he murmured in your ear. “You make me completely forget myself. I’d love to take you right up here. Bend you over the railing and fuck you from behind.” He moved his hips back and then thrust forward again. You were clawing at his t-shirt by now, afraid to fall over. “But I don’t think the railing can take it.” He bit your earlobe before leaning back and your eyes met. You could see yourself reflected in his dilated pupils, see his gaze bounce back and forth between your eyes.

A breeze passed over the treetops and hit your bare arms, making you shiver. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into an embrace. His body heat helped a little, but still you couldn’t suppress the chattering of your teeth against each other.

“We should get back,” Jungkook said, sighing. When he let go of you, you shook your head and wrapped your arms tighter around the middle of his body. “Baby…” Gently, he stroked your hair. “You’re cold, and we still have quite a walk ahead of us.”

“I don’t want to go yet,” you murmured into his chest. “I don’t want this day to end.”

He gave you one tight squeeze. “You do realize this isn’t our last date, right? We can come back here tomorrow. Or I can show you more parts of the forest. Or we can cook something together. I have countless other ideas.”

For a moment longer, you enjoyed his warmth and his body against yours before lowering your arms. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jungkook looked at you through narrowed eyes. “Well, that doesn’t sound very enthusiastic. I’m disappointed.”

You laughed and wrapped your arms around yourself. It was cooling off fast, and you wished you’d brought a sweater. “I’m just jittery about the descent, that’s all.”

“Ah,” Jungkook said, “I see. That’s why you want to stay up here. And I was beginning to think it had something to do with me.”

“Idiot,” you said quietly, walking toward the hole in the ground.

“Hey!” he yelled out and ran after you. “You better be nice to me or I won’t help you down.”

Wide-eyed, you looked at him. “You’d really just leave me up here?”

He paused before laughing, shaking his head and lowering himself down the entrance. “When you look at me like that, no way.”

The last thing you saw was his arms stretching upward through the hole, waiting for you.

. . .

The descent was faster than the ascent, probably because gravity came to your aid, so only a few minutes later you had packed the picnic basket, rolled up the blanket, and were walking hand in hand back the way you had come a few hours before. You thought you recognized a few distinctive places even in the twilight and were proud of yourself.

The hoot of an owl and the soft chirping of bats accompanied you and the last rays of sunlight lit your way. When these had faded away, Jungkook went ahead and led you. He warned you of every stone, every branch or bump in the ground, so that you did not even stumble once. For a short time you even closed your eyes and let yourself be led blindly by him, until you suddenly ran against his back with the tip of your nose. Because he had done something that you had not expected.

He had stopped.

Quickly you opened your eyes. “What’s going on? Why have we stopped? Are you lost?” you quipped. But when Jungkook didn’t answer, you noticed how tense he was in front of you. You walked around him so that you were standing next to him. “What’s wrong?” you asked again, this time panic mixed into your tone.

Jungkook put his index finger to his lips and closed his eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his ears perk up and turn forward. You also tried to listen, but you couldn’t hear anything except for the animals and the rustling of the leaves. You could hear a whooshing sound, perhaps a nearby stream, but maybe it was just your heartbeat pumping blood through your ears.

“Jungkook, you’re scaring me,” you whispered. You were afraid to speak out loud.

He opened his eyes, his gaze directed into the distance among the trees. Towards the cabin, you believed.

Briefly, his eyes darted to you, “I’m not sure.” When he tried to disengage his hand from yours, you protested. Then he grabbed you by the upper arms, his expression serious. “It’s probably nothing, but I want you to stay here. I’ll go check and be back in ten minutes. I promise, okay?”

You were about to protest again when he pressed a kiss to your forehead and moved away from you. “Don’t leave me.”

He turned to you once more. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched as his dark silhouette grew smaller and smaller, blurring into the darkness of the forest sooner than you would have liked. A little longer you could listen to his footsteps, until they also disappeared. Then you began to count. Ten times to sixty. Until you had finally stretched all ten fingers from you and you still stood rooted to the spot where Jungkook had left you. Still no sound reached your ears, no Jungkook came running up to you with a grin to explain that everything was all right.

The cold had seeped into your limbs by now, but you were shivering for a different reason. Panic rose in you as you counted to sixty ten times again and nothing happened. Uncertainly, you looked back and forth between the path behind you, the path to the tree house, and the path in front of you.

Jungkook would never have left you alone in the forest at night. Especially not when he had promised you to be back immediately.

You pressed your lips together to suppress the sob. Your eyes fell on the picnic basket, carelessly set down on the ground. With stiff fingers from the cold, you opened the basket and rummaged around in the darkness until your fingers finally closed around the metal. The moonlight reflected off the sharp blade of the knife Jungkook had used as a bread knife.

You took a deep breath and tried to make out the spot where Jungkook had disappeared over twenty minutes earlier and started walking.

Written 2022. Do not copy, translate or repost without permission.

#hybrid bts #hybrid!bts #bts x reader #bts hybrid au #bangtanarmynet #wolf hybrid jungkook #dog hybrid reader #bts angst #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts fic #jungkook smut

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bbobpul · 1 year

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break my heart again 2 — njm

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader SUMMARY.how's jaemin gonna give back for all of y/n's efforts now that he finally can? it's been years—just how much has everything changed? GENRE. angst, fluff, she fell first 🤭 W/C. 3.5k NOTE. hello, part two is here! so sorry i couldn't make a taglist. i didn't have time to make one. nevertheless, i hope this fic make its way back to you. love u all and thankies sm !!!! also, my requests are open !!!

(⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→ my other works !!!!!! part one here!!

i find it hard to picture myself ever being as dedicated to something or someone again, just like how i dedicated my entire college life to na jaemin.

lately, i've been feeling like i forgot what it's like to actually have a dream. back then, na jaemin was my dream, he was my driving force. i would force myself to wake up so early in the morning just so i could see him (or his car) enter the gates of the university. i would go to school even though i am sick and feel a lot better when i get home because i saw na jaemin. but now two years after graduating, i still haven't found a decent job that i actually enjoy.

it's a common experience that many people go through, and i suppose i shouldn't complain about it. maybe i need to put in more effort and push myself harder. part of me wonders if having na jaemin back in my life would rekindle that same sense of dedication that i once had. but as i say these thoughts out loud, they sound absurd, even to myself. why would i wish for my first love to return just so i could find a decent job? why would i long for na jaemin to come back merely to feel that spark in my life again? it's puzzling why i'm even dwelling on thoughts of him and wondering if he holds the key to my happiness and success.

oh, to dream.

oh, for that old dedication to still burn within you.

if only you hadn't acted so dumb that day. could life have taken a different path? are you even happy now? if you hadn't let fear hold you back back then, if you'd actually been brave enough to listen and follow through, would you be happier today?

but no matter how much you keep bothering yourself with that memory, if people come up to you and ask if you feel bad about everything that happened that day, you'd say no. you don't feel bad at all.

deciding to let him go was one of the best things you did. he seemed happy when you left, and after that, you never heard anything about him. he's like a touchy subject in your group of friends, which can be tough sometimes since you share friends. but does it really matter now? him not being in your life probably means he's happier and more peaceful, right?

are you feeling peaceful? is being stuck in a 9-5 job that hardly brought you joy a happy situation? scratch that. did being in that job make you happy? clearly not, as you've just mustered the bravery to quit. and in doing so, you've never felt more joyful.

did you really make the right decision?

just as you were pondering your own question, your phone buzzed on the bedside table. you grabbed it and saw that the caller was renjun, your incredibly patient best friend.

"y/n," he said, his tone becoming unusually serious. "what's up?" you asked. "do you need money?" "yeah?" "here's the deal: our college is putting together a documentary film, and they've chosen your department. but guess what? your old classmates are bombarding me with messages because it looks like you're ignoring them all. frankly, i can't believe you even answered my call," he griped. "wait, hold on. what film? and why would they pick me? are they searching for someone with a post-college life so sad that it belongs in a documentary?" "well, you were practically a legend back in college, so… and apparently, the director specifically wants you, which leads to… well, another issue…" "what's the problem now?" "it's going to be directed by jaemin."

and just like that, you ended the call. but a few seconds later, renjun's call came in again.

"i'm not going to do it." "you stubborn brat." "why him?" "i have no idea!" "why is he even directing? wasn't he studying architecture or something?" "i don't know, y/n. i haven't heard a single thing about him since your graduation." "what do you mean?" "that's not important now, y/n. you're in need of money, right? seize the opportunity. do it for the cash." “so will you do it or will you do it?” “for the cash.”

...

"y/n, you've moved on, haven't you? what's done is done. i'm pretty sure jaemin has forgotten all about it. this chance is coming your way, so just accept it." "i guess i will."

you're drawn in by the idea of making some extra money and the possibility of catching the eye of potential agents or employers. right now, you're at a crossroads, thinking about how this documentary could be a stepping stone to more job opportunities down the line. this situation is different from what usually drives you – this time, it's not about others, it's about focusing on your own goals and aspirations.

you're deliberately avoiding dwelling on your past. just as renjun mentioned, you've moved beyond it. what's done is done. right now, your focus is firmly on the present and the potential that lies ahead in the future.

what's in the past is behind us, including whatever existed between jaemin and you.

from renjun

tomorrow at lunchtime, they'll be going over the schedules and discussing what to film. if you want, you can chat with the director now. his number is 0825 813 2000.

in response, you simply replied with a "okay."

the night before the lunch meeting, a jumble of emotions has you in its grip. the idea of reconnecting with jaemin, who used to be your best friend and is now someone distant, fills you with a sense of awkwardness. you tell yourself that this is about working together and the chance to grow professionally.

after taking a deep breath, you decide to shoot jaemin a text. your fingers hesitate as you type, and the uncertainty you're feeling seems to seep into your message. you finally press send, and your text reads, "hey, it's y/n. heard we're meeting tomorrow for the documentary. just wanted to check in before that."

in almost no time, your phone buzzes with a response: "hey y/n, good to hear from you. yeah, looking forward to our meeting. let's catch up and chat about the project."

the conversation is polite, but beneath the surface, there's an unspoken layer of complexity. you can feel the hesitation in your exchange, a silent recognition of the shared history that's now a distant memory. as you talk about the meeting and the documentary, the easy flow you once had is noticeably absent.

as the texts go back and forth, a sense of tension seems to hang in the air. it's as though the years of friendship you once had are casting a shadow over your conversation. the effortless connection you once shared now requires effort, and both of you can sense the change.

as the conversation wraps up with a simple "see you tomorrow," you're left with a mix of excitement and anxiety. the idea of seeing jaemin again, especially in a professional context, stirs up a range of emotions. this situation is a stark reminder of just how much things have changed – and maybe how some things can't go back to the way they were.

you believed the conversation had concluded, only for your phone to ring once more, bearing yet another message from him. as you read the words on the screen, "i missed you, y/n," a rush of emotions floods over you.

"what's going on with him?" you mutter to yourself, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. your gaze remains fixed on the message for a moment, your attention drawn to the three blinking dots in the corner – a sign that he's in the process of typing a response. several more seconds tick by, the dots eventually vanishing, and in response, you shut your phone off. you make an attempt to settle into bed and get some rest, but truth be told, it's hard to claim you managed to sleep soundly that night. an undercurrent of thoughts and emotions keeps your mind restless.

the day of lunch lunch finally arrived. you sat across from jaemin, his words forming a distant hum as your thoughts remained clouded and preoccupied. the lingering impact of his recent message kept you in a state of unease, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation he was leading.

then, something inside you snapped, and you found yourself abruptly interrupting him with a question that had been gnawing at you, "why me?"

he looked at you, his gaze steady, and his response was quick, "why not you?"

your frustration simmered as his words hit you. he was choosing to be cryptic, and it was only adding to your confusion. pushing past your exasperation, you pressed on, "listen, i know we didn't part on the best terms, but why come back now and act like everything's fine? i mean, sure, it's better than hostility, but why choose me? i'm the one who's no longer part of your life."

his expression remained neutral, void of any emotions as he replied, "that's not true."

you raised an eyebrow, challenging him to elaborate. "what's not true?"

"that you have nothing to do with my life, y/n," he stated firmly.

the weight of his words settled heavily between you two, the gravity of the situation growing more apparent. the lunch table had transformed into an arena for confronting unresolved issues.

you scoffed, unable to hold back your disbelief. "jaemin, i made one mistake, and now you're trying to imply that my actions shaped your entire life?"

his eyes held yours, unwavering. "y/n, it's not just about that one mistake. everything that followed, everything that shaped who i am today… it's all connected to you."

your mind reeled, trying to grasp the enormity of what he was suggesting. the complexities of your shared history seemed to crash over you, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and a tangled web of unspoken feelings.

the weight of his words left you momentarily speechless, and in an attempt to shift away from the intensity, you sought to change the subject. "where are the other producers? why is it just you here?"

"y/n…" he began, his tone suggesting he wanted to continue the previous conversation.

however, you opted to sidestep the discussion entirely. you pretended as if the profound exchange hadn't just occurred. "i notice you're taking on the role of a director now. quite the career shift, huh?" you inquired, masking your internal turmoil with a casual demeanor. you acted as if there hadn't been a two-year gap in your connection, as though things between you were perfectly ordinary.

he met your gaze, a faint hint of something unreadable in his eyes. "i pursued another dream when i felt i'd lost the chance for my first one."

"your first dream… not architecture, then?" you prodded, curious about the direction he had taken.

he shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, leaving you puzzled yet again. "no, not architecture. well, i suppose that just wasn't meant for me back then, but maybe it is now."

the cryptic nature of his response only added to the layers of confusion and intrigue that surrounded him. there was something about the way he spoke that hinted at deeper currents beneath the surface, emotions and experiences that he hadn't fully revealed. you found yourself torn between the desire to push for answers and the instinct to allow him his privacy. the lunch meeting had transformed into a stage for untangling not just the complexities of the documentary but also the intricate web of emotions and history between you and jaemin.

leaving the restaurant, a whirlwind of unanswered questions dances in your mind. yet, for now, you choose to tuck those thoughts away, focusing instead on the looming filming date just a few days away – next saturday.

in the span of time between that lunch and the upcoming shoot, jaemin proves consistent in his attempts to bridge the gap between you two. he regularly reaches out, updating you about his day and proposing get-togethers, which you consistently decline.

the days pass, marked by a series of messages and missed opportunities. despite the undeniable tension, there's an undeniable persistence on jaemin's part, a determined effort to reconnect and reestablish a sense of familiarity. however, your apprehensions and the memories of your past dynamics hold you back, keeping you from embracing his overtures.

as the countdown to the filming day continues, you find yourself in a delicate dance – balancing the unresolved history between you and the prospects of the future. the lines between your personal and professional lives are blurred, and the documentary project becomes a backdrop against which the intricacies of your relationship with jaemin play out.

you find yourself constantly pondering what his intentions could be. his actions leave you wondering, and you can't help but question what he's aiming for. in your perspective, you're merely a negative aspect of his life – a streak of misfortune. you would have expected him to have learned from the past, but his determination remains unshakeable.

as you contemplate these thoughts, your phone lights up once more, bearing yet another message from him. his name on the screen triggers a whirlwind of emotions – a mixture of uncertainty, annoyance, and a hint of curiosity. opening the message, you brace yourself for whatever he might convey this time. the consistency in his attempts at communication only serves to deepen the intricate web of emotions you hold for him, leaving you caught between your shared history and the unpredictability of the present.

"the offer's still there, y/n. :)" "jaemin, let's be real. just because i'm on board with your documentary idea doesn't mean we're suddenly best buds again. a lot has changed." "i want to reconnect, though." "actually, scratch that. i want to get to know you all over again." "jaemin, i appreciate the effort, but let's keep things professional, okay?" “i’m sorry, y/n. goodnight.”

after your straightforward message, his responses ceased. a silence settled in, stretching on until saturday – the day you were set to see him again. the anticipation and uncertainty had been building, and now the moment was finally at hand.

you stepped into the studio and immediately noticed that you and jaemin were the only ones present. your confusion must have been evident on your face, prompting him to address the situation promptly.

"um, the team thought having fewer people in the room would create a more personal atmosphere," he began, his voice carrying a hint of unease. "and, well, they decided to keep me here, you know, being the director and all, and also because we have a history…"

his words trailed off, and there was a subtle vulnerability in his tone. it was as if he was acknowledging the intricacies of your past connection, while simultaneously recognizing the complexities it introduced into your current dynamic. the studio, usually a place of creativity and collaboration, had transformed into a space laden with the weight of your shared history.

"it's okay," you responded, your words carrying a touch of reassurance. as your reply registered, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips – a detail you couldn't help but notice. after all, it was that very smile that had ignited four years of your life, a smile that held memories and emotions you had both shared.

"um, i'll just ask you a few questions, and then you're free to go," he stated, his voice carrying a hint of nervousness that didn't escape your notice. this new facet of his demeanor felt unfamiliar to you, a departure from the confident jaemin you had known.

you found yourself disliking this uneasiness, and a thought occurred to you – maybe it was time to rekindle something within him. as he began asking you questions, you decided to respond in a way that would evoke a certain familiarity between you two. it was a subtle attempt to bridge the gap, to draw out the person you once knew.

you had believed that his silence was what you wanted. you had convinced yourself that distancing yourself from him would protect you from the past mistakes. but now, facing the reality of the situation, you realized that perhaps a certain selfishness was ingrained within you. maybe, just maybe, you yearned to erase the distance, to defy your own rationalizations.

in this moment, you found yourself yearning to rekindle what had been lost, to bring back a connection that once meant so much. the conflicting emotions within you painted a complex picture of your desires – a battle between self-preservation and the longing for something more.

however, as you locked eyes with him and saw the lack of any discernible emotion in his gaze, a haunting wave of fear resurfaced within you. in that moment, it was as if time rewound, taking you back to the day of your graduation when your heart and spirit had felt shattered. the memory of that painful experience rushed back, accompanied by the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued you.

if you were to truly confront your own feelings, you'd admit that what you witnessed that night had left you questioning your own worth. the events had stirred up doubts about whether you had ever been deserving of taking risks for, whether you had ever been someone worth fighting for.

"hey, good morning, y/n."

"morning, director."

"how's today treating you?"

"pretty good, thanks."

"hmm, and what's life been like after college?"

"…"

"take your time."

"at first, i felt okay. my friends were all getting closer to their dreams, and i was genuinely happy for them. especially…"

"especially who?"

"especially the person i left behind."

"…"

"i was content being happy for someone else. then another year went by, and i wasn't feeling so great anymore."

"do you really think they're happy?"

"hmm?"

"the person you left behind."

"yeah. and my other friends seem happy too. they've got jobs they love, they're with people they care about, and i only had… renjun *laughs* … but sometimes, i can't help but feel like i'm the one who got left behind, you know? even though i was the one who walked away."

"let's talk about your person."

"oh *laughs* he's not my person."

pausing for a moment, you glanced at jaemin behind the camera. the question lingered in your mind: what was he trying to do? his actions and intentions remained a puzzle.

his expression grew serious, his gaze fixed intently on you. it was as if he had something to convey, something he was holding back.

"the last time i actually saw him was in an instagram post. he was with some girl. it happened on my graduation day. i waited the whole day, hoping he'd appear in the midst of the crowd. when he didn't, i held onto the possibility of seeing him by the gates. but that didn't happen either. my last hope was maybe he'd send me a single message, but by the end of the day, nothing came. then i went on instagram and saw a photo – a warning, i guess. a warning that i should just stop hoping. that… happened a few weeks later, i think. or maybe it was just a few days after our argument, the one where he told me he couldn't love… yeah."

you met his gaze and once again, his face was serious. his eyes were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open. a few moments passed, and he let out a shaky breath. screw it, you thought, it's out there now and i don't care anymore.

your silent exchange was interrupted as he shifted the camera away. confusion clouded your thoughts as you watched him move. he turned back to you, his expression still serious, and then he grabbed a chair from the nearby table. he sat down with his back facing you.

the room felt charged with unspoken emotions, leaving you to question his intentions and actions. it was as if he was peeling away layers, searching for something beneath the surface.

"did you know that…" he began, his voice breaking the silence. "she was his sister?"

"i never told you about her, that's on me," he admitted with a chuckle. "that was her last day, y/n. so i decided to spend the entire day with her. i'm sorry."

you were taken aback. "i'm sorry–"

"it's okay, y/n."

"i know i left you with so many questions that night, but let me tell you… every effort you made, every cookie you baked, i cherished all of it. i loved you. i'm sorry if my actions made you doubt yourself."

another pause filled the air.

"i left when you left."

"you were my dream. architecture wasn't really my passion, you know? i was struggling a lot, but luckily, you were there with me. i decided to chase after what i truly loved when you left, because i realized if i wanted you back in my life, it should be when i'm at my best, right? i wasn't lying when i said i couldn't love. i didn't want to love you when i was broken. i wanted to be the best version of myself for you. i thought that if i wanted you to be with the best person, then that should be me. so i became that person, a director, and then i planned all of this." his eyes finally met yours.

"i was always looking at you."

tears welled up in your eyes, and he seemed to notice. he took a step towards you and enveloped you in his arms.

"i'm sorry for not holding onto you back then, baby. but i promise, i won't let go of you now," he whispered.

"i'm sorry for leaving, jaemin," you sobbed.

"shh, you did what you thought was right."

"do you want to have lunch with me now?" he asked.

a mixture of emotions flooded your heart, and with a nod, you replied, "yes, jaemin."

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wzrd-wheezes · 1 year

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Nothing More - Pt 1. R.L x Reader

Remus Lupin x Reader.

1.2k

Warnings: Nothing crazy in part 1, flatmate remus and reader, alcohol, swearing, slight angst if you squint.

A/N: Not going to lie this fic took me way longer than I care to admit and I'm planning on making it a multi part fic so please let me know if you'd like me to carry this on! Not a great deal happens in this part but there's going to be a lot to come lol

It was late evening and Y/N was cooking dinner in the kitchen of the flat that her and Remus shared. Remus was sat up on the kitchen counter crossed legged, drink in hand, staring melancholically at the floor. He was complaining, as he often did, about his life.

“I’m just bored, you know?” he said, taking a sip of his beer, “I just feel like I’m stuck in this time loop with the most boring, repetitive life ever and it’s making me go insane.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at him playfully, used to this kind of behaviour from her best friend after their years of friendship.

“At least you’ve got a repetitive, boring life with a best friend that’s as good as I am.” she grinned, reaching over and taking the beer bottle out of his hand and having a swig.

“Oi, no fair taking away one of the joys in my life,” he protested, “You already eat most of the food I make, at least let me keep something.” He snatched the bottle back from her with a laugh.

“I’m literally cooking you dinner right now, idiot.”

“I think my life would be so much better if I just moved to another continent altogether.” he groaned, looking at Y/N with a half-joking expression. She let out a snort and he looked at her quizzically.

“You need to have a drink.”

“I’m having a drink, idiot.” he parroted her from earlier, flashing her his beer.

“No. We need to go out for a drink. To a pub or a bar or something so you can distract yourself from this weird existential crisis that you’re having.” she said, taking the pan off of the stove and portioning the food into dishes. “I’ll give James and Sirius a call. They’re always up for a spontaneous night out.”

“They’ll just get drunk and start singing,” he chuckled, “Fine, but you have to look after them if they get plastered. Also, if I wake up in the morning and Sirius is half naked asleep on our sofa again, I’ll kick off.”

They wolfed down their dinner and both retreated to their rooms to get ready. Y/N made a quick phone call to James and Sirius who were both on board with the idea of an impromptu night out. She was stood in front of the mirror zipping her jeans up and deciding what shirt to wear when her bedroom door swung open.

“Are you ready yet or wha-” Remus stood frozen in place as his eyes fell on her body. Y/N’s head snapped round and she quickly covered her chest with her arms, albeit wearing a bra. A blush crept onto Remus’s pale cheeks and he quickly backed out of the room shouting an apology over his shoulder.

“Sorry about bursting in like that, I didn’t think.” Remus said apologetically when she walked into the living room having finished getting ready. He was stood leaning against the kitchen counter drinking another beer. His oversized leather jacket hung from his shoulders and he had a cigarette tucked behind his ear. “I should’ve knocked or something.”

“Remmy, I don’t think you’ve ever knocked before you come into my room,” she laughed, unphased by what happened, “Besides, it’s not like you’ve never seen some tits before.”

He chuckled awkwardly, setting his empty bottle down on the side and ushering her out of the door while mumbling something about being on time for meeting the others.

Sirius and James were already at the bar when they arrived and waved them over to where they were standing. It took a mere number of seconds before Sirius had order a round of drinks and handed them out. They made small talk for a few minutes, Remus standing awkwardly next to Y/N after their encounter from earlier, his cheeks still tinted pink. Y/N excused herself to go to the bathroom and Remus was left alone with the two other boys.

“Have you guys just shagged or something?” Sirius quizzed, smirking slightly. Remus spluttered, all but spitting out the drink he had just taken a sip of.

“What?”

“Oh, come on, Moons.” James nudged him, “You’ve been blushing and looking awkwardly at her ever since you got here. What happened?” Remus took a breath and downed the rest of his drink.

“I walked in on her changing earlier and I may or may not have seen her boobs.” He blurted out quickly. Sirius barked out a laugh.

“Bloody hell, Moony. You’ve seen some boobs, big deal.” James laughed.

“Oi, leave him alone. I remember the first time I saw some boobs.” Sirius said sarcastically.

“Yeah, I remember it vividly and you definitely weren’t this excited.”

"It’s not the first time I’ve seen some boobs and I’m not excited.” Remus rolled his eyes, “It’s just that it’s her and-”

“And you’ve been pathetically in love with her since we were at school.” The other two boys said simultaneously.

“I am NOT.” he replied, “she’s my best friend, that’s all. Nothing more. I’m just worried that she thinks I’m some weird pervert or something.”

James cleared his throat and jerked his head to the side, gesturing towards Y/N who was making her way back over to them, manoeuvring through the crowds of people. It was a Friday night and the bar was packed, the lights had been dimmed and drinks were flowing freely. Most people had packed themselves onto the dancefloor, their sweaty bodies pressed against each other while their hands clutched onto their drinks.

“Are we going to dance then, or what?” Y/N asked, grabbing her drink back from Remus who had been holding it while she was gone. The boys nodded and followed her to the crowd of people.

One thing about going out with Sirius Black is that he buys rounds of drinks like it’s going out of fashion. He makes sure his friends have a drink in hand at all times. This being the reason that the four of them were now quite drunk. Sirius and James swayed tipsily to the music and Remus laughed at them. He noticed suddenly that Y/N wasn’t stood with them anymore. Assuming that she’d just gone to the bar for another drink, he wandered over. His eyes danced over the bar and across the sea of bodies that were surrounding it. No sign of her. Sighing, he ordered himself another beer and decided to carry on looking. His eyes darted quickly around the room before finally landing on Y/N, he smiled and started walking over. The smile soon dropped from his face as he realised what he was seeing. Y/N had her arms tangled round the neck of a guy, his hands resting on her waist as he kissed her. Remus’s knuckles went white as his fist tightened around the bottle of beer he was holding. His jaw tightened and he swore that he felt his stomach drop.

“Fucking hell, Moons, we’ve been looking for you for ages.” Sirius’s voice suddenly spoke. His eyes followed Remus’s gaze to where Y/N was standing, “Ouch.”

“It’s fine.” Remus’s voice came out strained, “She can do what she wants.”

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin #maruaders #the marauders

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instantnoooodles · 2 years

Text

A Driving Force

An ancient ask from an old friend, it came to me in a dream. Viola.

Gibbs x Reader | No use of [Y/n] | 3.2 k | Mentions of Childbirth, swearing, pregnancy, mentions of sex, fluff with little to no angst

Pregnancy has got you ready to throttle your husband.

Nearly eight months pregnant, and you are going to kill someone.

Someone's name is Jethro.

Jethro, who- after your first baby- thought it would be a swell idea to have another (don't get me wrong, he is more than good at making them, it's the labor and the first trimester that does you in.) Jethro, who is at work and not at home making you tea or rubbing your calves, or doing literally anything other than being at work. It's driving you nuts, and your son may as well be training for the baby Olympics. There's no reprieve, not with a heating pad, not with an exercise ball, not with the piss-poor excuse for a nap you'd tried to take, nothing.

So you do what anyone would've done: You drive your ass to his work and give the security guards some vaguely veiled threats to let you up to the bullpen.

And naturally, he's nowhere to be found.

"I am going to kill that man," you grumble, reclining in his chair, leaning your head back, and closing your eyes. Ironically enough, the background noise helps- you feel more relaxed than at home.

The elevator dings, and in comes the trio. (McGee- you assume- is down in the lab. Jethro says he prefers it to fieldwork some days.) And- naturally- they're yelling.

"I had him!"

"You had shit! That dude outran you by miles! He's halfway to Timbuktu right now!"

"Dinozzo-"

"Boss, I am telling you-"

"Dinozzo."

They stop in the bullpen, and you stand, hand over your stomach, and downright glower at your husband. "Leroy."

Tony's face crumples into something like horror, Kate looks like a bomb might go off, and Jet- well, he looks a little south of terrified. As he should.

"Sweetheart," He walks toward you, hands outstretched, and immediately goes in for a gentle peck on the cheek. You swat him away. He frowns comically.

"Your son is driving me up a wall."

"You shouldn't be driving like this," he reaches down and caresses the bump. Damn him and his soft voice. Usually, you only hear it in the comfort of your home, never at work, and maybe that's what melts your resolve of putting up a fight.

You sigh, slouching into him and leaning your head into the crook of his neck. He takes it all in stride, cupping his hand on the back of your head, drawing circles with his thumb on that place where the base of your skull meets your neck. It makes you fall apart like a card tower. You groan- he has the decency not to laugh, just winds his other arm around your waist. "Is he giving you a hard time?" It's asked softly, gently, kindly, with all the warmth of a roaring fire and the bourbon in the basement. This is the Jet that makes you question if he's really an agent.

"He's been kicking my bladder for hours," you groan into his shirt. It smells like sawdust and mint. "You'd think he's training for boot camp in there."

Jethro rubs gently at your waist- Tony and Kate sit quietly at their desks and have the decency to stop arguing. Tony even takes a field trip to God knows where- it makes you smile. "Better or worse than Dani?"

Dani is your nearly five-year-old. A bundle of joy and Jethro's entire world, she has a smile to light up a room.

And a temper to rival Hell, she gets it from her dad, but he handles her well.

You scoff. "Dani didn't take up gymnastics, and if I recall correctly, you missed the first eight hours of my labor."

"Twenty more to go- didn't miss much." You smack him gently on the back, and he only chuckles and continues to rub the muscles of your hips and neck. "You damn near broke my hand."

"Twenty-eight hours of labor, Jethro. You're lucky I didn't break every bone in your body and shoot you." He mumbles something like 'touche', and you stand in silence for a moment. Jet quietly says 'here' and untangles himself from you (you nearly kill him) until he spins around. Facing your back and winding his arms around to your stomach, he reaches underneath your bump, intertwines his fingers, and lifts.

You come this close to moaning in the middle of NCIS headquarters.

Jet started doing this sometime towards the end of the second trimester when your bump became less of that and more like a mound. (These days, it feels more like a mountain.) The muscles in your abdomen relax, and the relief is instantaneous. Your head lols back onto his shoulder, and you kiss the underside of his jaw. "Thank you."

It comes out in a whisper, but he gets the idea and returns the gesture to your forehead. "'Course sweetheart," And then you just stand there. It could be hours- it could be seconds. Realistically, it was probably closer to ten minutes. Jethro is strong, despite his age and his appearance. If you asked him he could probably do this for another hour and then some. Come to think- he'd do anything you asked him to. And you'd do the same, quite frankly, but right now- right now this is plenty.

Jethro releases the weight of your baby boy slowly, oh-so-gently and it nearly makes you sob (damn pregnancy hormones) and hugs you from the side, careful not to undo the release he's just given you. You peck his cheek, leaning into the embrace, and close your eyes.

And then water splashes down your leg, down your pants, and onto a puddle in the NCIS bullpen.

Motherfucker.

Echoed both in your head and out loud by your husband, Tony chooses this perfect moment to come barreling into the room. "Boss, we got something- oh shit."

"Dinozzo, go get my car," and Jet hurls the keys at Tony's head. Tony, with all his goofiness and jokes, makes none about the situation and beelines for the staircase, Kate hot on his heels.

Contraction number one hits with full speed, nearly taking you to your knees, and Jet hugs you around your waist, keeping you from collapsing and yanking the phone from his back pocket. "If the nurse doesn't give me an epidural this time, you have my full permission to shoot them."

"Yes ma'am," he says, throwing the phone onto his desk. You don't see what he's done with it, you're too busy trying to stand.

The contraction fades, you rise, and Jethro rises with you. "You're early."

"Dani was three weeks early," you breathe deeply through your nose and out through your mouth.

"This is nearly four."

"Well, then, Jet, get a damn move on." And move he does. He makes sure you're standing steady first, before flying behind his desk to grab a bag. You do a double take. "You keep the hospital bag in your office?"

He gives you a quick peck on the cheek, slinging the bag over his shoulder and guiding you toward the elevator. "Been with me for two months now, sweetheart."

You're going to sob.

Jet's gentle hand on your elbow and back gets you both to the elevator in one piece. An agent- you don't know who- is standing there as the doors ding open. Jethro gives him a look that could freeze over hell as he turns around to ask what floor, and the mystery agent steps out.

You poke the 'G' button as another contraction punches through you. Jet gets you to lean against the cool metal wall as the elevator begins to move, and you grip his forearm tight. You're not swearing, not yet, just breathing deeply, but at this rate, you'll be calling the doctor a fuckwad the minute you walk through the hospital doors.

Tony and Kate (bless their hearts) have the car running right out of the elevator in the parking garage. Tony reaches for your arm to help you in but a sharp, "Hands off my wife, DiNozzo!" Stops him dead in his tracks. Kate steps in as Jet throws the bag in the backseat. He opens the passenger door while Kate leads you.

"You're gonna do great, call us when the baby's here, and we'll handle the case, Gibbs." The last part is directed toward your husband, who takes your other forearm as you sit gingerly in the car.

He drives like Jethro. Which is to say: Like a maniac.

You don't complain, even if it feels like you're in the middle of a police chase. He cuts the fifteen-minute drive to the hospital in half, skidding to a halt in front of the maternity wing, and barely remembers to turn off the car before reaching behind him to snag the bag and half-carry you to the doors. You can hardly blink before they've got you in a room, changed into a hospital gown, and are telling you to push.

Mike Leroy Gibbs' labor clocks in at a whopping two hours.

It's a very painful two hours. Jet may have threatened several doctors and nurses to give you an epidural (who complies, you don't know the details and you don't want to.) They whisk him away to check vitals and clean him up, though Jet also threatens to maim or seriously injure someone if Mike isn't in your arms in fifteen minutes.

He's returned rather quickly (you have a feeling you'll have to do damage control when you give a shit.) And he is the cutest bundle of warm brown hair and the brightest blue eyes you ever did see.

You don't let Jethro hold him for something close to an hour, you damn near fall asleep with him on your chest for a little while, but with a soft, "Jet, look at your son." He takes him

Jethro is pretty quiet while he holds him- he was the same with Dani, awestruck by her existence and speechless. He coos at Mike, who's fast asleep, and sways him gently back and forth. He sits down, the armchair pulled as close to your hospital bed as it can get, with one hand cradling your son and the other holding your hand, rubbing gentle circles on the meat of your thumb.

(You crushed his forearm during labor. Not literally, Jethro is still injury free, but there will be bruises in a few days. He knows how sore you are though, and if he wasn't occupied with his new son, you'd be sure he'd be giving you a massage. He was just as good- if not miles better- than when you gave birth to Dani. He was on a case, deep cover, and didn't get the phone call from Ducky or the hospital until you were well into labor. Ducky's phone call was far more urgent- Gibbs drove at least forty over to get to you.)

"Jet, I gotta call Donovan, he still has two more days with Dani-"

"Already taken care of sweetheart."

You're going to melt. Absolutely dissolve into a pile of lovey-dovey goo. "Thank you."

He brings your hand to his lips to kiss each of your knuckles. "He's on his way, your brother drives slower than I do-"

"Jethro, everyone drives slower than you."

The corner of his lips twitch upward at that, and he doesn't argue.

The room is... nice. It's the only way to describe it. You feed Mike, and Jet is respectful and goes to find you OJ while you do it. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable, hun. Figured you could just use some time with him, skin to skin."

Yeah, you're gonna cry.

You actually do, while he's away and Mike has finished. It's not sad tears, they're definitely happy. When Jethro comes back he seems to know it, you don't even have to say anything, he just sits on the side of the bed, curls an arm behind your shoulders, and pets your hair. There are kisses laid atop your head, and he rubs your bicep. He whispers in his soft voice, the one you're so used to hearing that when you visit him at work his 'Boss' tone makes you do a double take. (Is it hot? Absolutely. But there's nothing quite like the quiet tone he uses when he asks if you're ready for bed.)

You sniffle, Mike shifts in your arms as Jethro wipes a tear and a series of gentle knocks at the door sound through your hospital room. One, two, three, four, five, heads poke through the sliver in the open door. "Boss? Can we come in?"

Gibbs looks to you for permission before answering. You nod and smile softly, and he beckons to the agents. Abby and Kate file in first, closely followed by Tim, then Ducky, who holds the door open for Tony, who's carrying two huge plastic bags filled with something that smells magical.

Abby gives you the first hug, careful to avoid your newborn, she wraps an arm around your shoulder while Jethro untangles himself from you to help Tony. ("Did ya buy enough for the whole wing, Dinozzo?")

Kate comes in next, taking Abby's place with a hug around your shoulder. You share grins, and she asks you how the labor was- the conversation is easy and nice. (Everyone knows how bad Dani's labor was. You've come into the office a few times a month, usually with coffee or breakfast, or-hell, even dinner for your husband and his crew when the nights turn long. You used to come in once a week during the first trimester. You and Gibbs would be in the NCIS bathroom with your head in a toilet, hair held back, and circles rubbed on your shoulders. Those were rough days.)

"Do you wanna hold him?"

Kate looks a little dumbstruck. Ducky and Tim are giving her encouraging glances, grinning ear to ear. "Y-you're sure?"

You smile up at her, readjust, and hold Mike out. "Make sure to support his head, arm under his neck, keep the blanket- there you go." Kate kinda giggles- a breathy laugh escapes as she turns toward Gibbs and grins wide. He smiles back- then wider to you- and winks. To this day, it still gives you butterflies.

Kate moves around the room- pacing in circles, bounces your son in the crook of her elbow, and quietly talks with Ducky. Tim comes in for a small hug. "Congrats, Mrs. Gibbs. You feel alright?"

You scoff and pull him in with both arms. "I'm exhausted- I think Jet threatened someone for an epidural."

You give him a peck on the cheek as he steps back, unfolding himself. Tim blushes pink and smiles. "Anything I can do? Food? Clothes?" You nearly start crying again. "I make a mean quiche, waffles too- Abby's can vouch for me-"

You laugh (Jethro's eyes light up at the sound, Tony notices.) "That sounds wonderful, Tim. Thank you, I mean it."

He smiles, genuine, and you get the feeling sometimes Tony and Kate are a little hard on him. Then you remember how they rallied when he was in the hospital from a gunshot wound, and all those thoughts fade away.

"McGee! Get over here!" Tony yells from across the room, gesturing with a plastic knife.

Kate comes over to hand back Mike, but you gesture to Ducky. "Go ahead, Duck. I'm sure you've had your fair share of holding babies, don't make me lecture you."

Ducky smile kindly (everyone seems to be smiling lately, and as cheesy as it sounds, it makes you happy. The my-heart-hurts-with-happiness way. You think the work is thankful, but even that seems too small of a word for what you feel.) Kate hands Mike over, carefully, slowly- his head fits neatly into the palm of her hand, where it waits until Ducky re-settles the blanket over him.

Duckys' a natural- he sways with Mike and regals him with PG versions of his cases. Mike, sleepy and half-conscious, wiggles out of the blanket and wraps one of his teeny-tiny hands around the doctor's fingers. Abby and Kate coo and fold the blanket back over your son. They wiggle their own fingers at him, but Mike stays sound asleep, shifting minutely in Ducky's arms.

Tony comes in next for a one-armed, light hug. (You suspect Jet is behind that- you pull him in all the same. )

"Gibbs mentioned you were hungry," he gestures to the small table ladened with takeout boxes. "Said you were craving pasta."

You pull him back for another, tighter hug, gifting him with a peck on the cheek too, "Thank you, Tony, that's really sweet of you."

He blushes lightly, with a smug sort of look on his face. "You guys can keep the leftovers- McGee's idea."

You give his hand a squeeze instead of words, but he seems to get the idea, winking and holding up your shoulders while you sit up as Jet brings a plate over. He doesn't chastise Tony for his hand placement or the still-visible blush painted across his neck and cheeks, but you're more focused on the heavenly-smelling, rich, and sauce-loaded noodles being presented to you.

You groan. "You are a saint, hun. Thank you." You grab the plate and fork with eager hands. Tony laughs and meanders off to grab a plate of his own while Jet sits on the side of your bed. He's got his own plate- carefully portioned and balanced on one knee as he catches a noodle falling off your fork and nearly onto the sheets.

"Thanks," you reply with a mouthful, but it comes out more like a grunt. Jet gets the message anyway, smiling down at you. You're more at an even height now that you're sitting up, and you watch cheerfully as Ducky looks to you for permission to pass Mike to Abby.

Tim and Kate are chatting quietly. They look over at you and Jet once and a while. (You get the sneaky suspicion you won't have to cook or do chores in the house for months.) Tony is still ladling noodles onto his plate, and you watch as he hands a similar one to Ducky.

You didn't notice when they first entered- or maybe she was hiding it- but there's a little (not-so-little) bag sitting at Abby's feet as she takes Mike oh-so-gently from Ducky. You guess it might be something black- it'll contrast with his eyes, and you giggle internally at the thought. Abby sways over to Tony, rocking Mike in her arms- you think Tony calls him Giblet Number Two, and you roll your eyes playfully.

It hits you suddenly how happy you are, nearly knocks you breathless as you watch everyone crowd around Abby as Mike opens his eyes. This is... wonderful. You don't have words for it: you have everything you can ask for and more, and Jethro seems to read your mind (as always.) He reaches down to squeeze your free hand, looking sideways through his eyelashes. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

You smile tearily at him. "I know."

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