#jschlatt (mentioned)

[dxxdlilac]

0/10 worst cupid ever. shot me dead in the back

happy valentines !!!!!!!!!!

[frostedsugarcookiehearts]

⁷ said their favorite song was pink + white (but they're black & blue)

light themes of abuse! ୨ৎ

it all started with an order for sunnyside up eggs.

schlatt was filming yet another video from a bougie, expensive-ass hotel, showing off the freakin' bidet they had in the bathroom and the robe that felt like it was sewed from a thousand sheep.

but of course, the best part of hotels was the room service! schlatt skimmed through the menu before deciding on a cup'a joe and his choice of eggs, eventually deciding on sunnyside up. so he picked up the hotel room and pressed 3 (which was the button for room service), and waited for someone to pick up.

"room service here! how may i help you?" a cute little voice sang, filling schlatt's ears with a comforting aura he couldn't place.

"uh, hello ma'am." he coughed awkwardly, and all of a sudden his palms felt sweaty. he aggressively wiped his hands on his black t-shirt, letting out a grumble. "could i please have a coffee and... hm, sunnyside up eggs please?"

"of course sir! i'm so sorry, but that may take about ten minutes. is that okay?"

he blinked, bewildered. most room service at other hotels took like thirty minutes, and they practically threw the plate at your face. he could wait ten minutes for his food, he wasn't a douchebag fatass. "yeah— yeah, of course. take all the time you need."

he could hear the person on the other line hum happily. "alrighty then! we'll see you soon. please enjoy your stay!"

"uh-huh." he grinned to himself like an idiot, sounding like a big dumb oaf. "i will."

ten minutes later? the doorbell to his room rang. a cute little knock, one, two, three! echoed throughout the room. "room service!" the same voice from over the phone chirps.

schlatt, admittedly, runs to the door, panting a little as he swings it open. in the doorway is a pretty girl in a button up shirt and skirt, beaming as she holds two trays. "hi mister schlatt!"

"hello. uhm," he glances down to see your nametag, stumbling out your name politely. "you can put that down right there." he points to the coffee table across from the couch adjacent to the bed.

happily, you oblige, putting it right where he said. he expected a plain mug and one sunnyside up egg, but you'd brought a whole tray of coffee, with creamer and sugar— everything you would need. like coffee heaven. and then, under that metal lid was not only eggs, but sausage and a choice of water, orange juice or milk. woah.

schlatt's eyes widened. "am i gonna get paid extra for all'at?"

you chuckle, shaking your head politely. "nope! i just thought some extra food couldn't hurt." you smiled up at him, and he felt his shoulders relax, teeth unclench and his breath steady. you were cute. and the service was actually pretty great here.

(he talked to ted later, who was living in the room across from him, and he got less of an array than schlatt did, but he still got a hefty increase from what he asked for. schlatt smirked to himself once ted told him this— it just proved that he was your favorite.)

after chatting with ted for a few hours and filming a few clips around the two rooms, he made his way to the lobby to thank you, maybe slip you a few tenners (hey, the service was good! and you were cute).

he found you, tucked in a hallway near the receptionist's desk. next to you was a guy who towered over you— not an accomplishment, you were pretty small— but the man seemed imposing. you were absentmindedly eating a protein bar while he spoke, and he plucked it out of your hands.

he cooed patronizingly, "you don't need to be eating all of that, do ya, baby?"

schlatt felt his eye twitch and fists clench. who the actual fuck did this guy think he was? based off the 'baby' suffix, he assumed this dick was your boyfriend. what kind of boyfriend said that to their girlfriend? a bad one, obviously, but still— the fuck?

"...yeah." you mumbled, looking a little ashamed. the man lit up, patting your back and then wrapping a hand around your shoulder. you were about to reach the bar to your lips again, but then your boyfriend's hand tightened around the edge of your neck.

his hand squeezed right at the crook of your neck and shoulder, way tighter than necessary as he barked, "throw that shit out."

your face paling, you immediately chucked the protein bar into the trashcan, eliciting a happy hum from your boyfriend. he promptly kissed the top of your head, patting your ass and walking off. douche.

something tugged at schlatt, but he wasn't sure what. he could tell, obviously, that your boyfriend sucked, but it seemed like there was more to it than that— he placed it when he saw your face blanch when your boyfriend squeezed your neck. he could see a faint mark start to form, but your pale skin basically covered up the blush colored mark from your boyfriend's big hand.

and, for better or for worse, he didn't want to pry in your personal life. for all he knew, your boyfriend was having a bad day or something. it was hard for him to justify it, but it wasn't his business; he needed to know more.

he walks up to you, smiling as he gently murmurs, "hey, thank you. for the extra stuff with my coffee."

you blink up at him, looking frazzled. "oh! it's no problem. don't worry 'bout it."

"nah, you went out of your way to do that for me. i appreciate it." he smiles, running a hand through his hair.

smiling, you giggle. "anytime, mister schlatt."

"jay," he corrects, his voice soft and baritone.

"jay," you echo. "nice to meet you."

୨ৎ

divider credits @omi-resources

dead dove do not eat divider credit @burdenandacrop

[donteverblameash]

It pisses me off that so many characters in the Marvel universe are based in New York and not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has even a slight New York accent. Steven Rogers, you grew up in Brooklyn, 1920, I want you to sound like a goddamn Newsie.

[schloopcentral]

it makes me happy and that’s all that matters

IDK IF THIS IS AN INTRIGUING OFFER BUT IF ANYONE WANTS ME TO MAKE ONE WITH SPECIFIC PEOPLE IM PRETTY SURE MY ASKS ARE OPEN!!1! 😭

[almostdeath]

Okay. I wanna rant and talk again about C!Schlatt and how it makes sense that he is pro-governmental structure or even a structure with an emperor on top.

Him being a sheep hybrid makes sense in that case. Sheep flocks usually have a sheep that leads them (the role of the leader is usually exchanged among the sheep). There are many different factors that determine which sheep will lead the flock. One of those is age and experience (Schlatt would be one of the oldest in the group, especially if we are talking about the Manberg cabinet), dominance which is determined by social interactions (Schlatts comes off as confident in his beliefs. Doesn't matter if he actually has a high self esteem or not as long as he displays such in public) and also initiative, which Schlatt of course showed.

Sheep are very social animals. They will get stressed and depressed in isolation (which makes a lonely limbo quite impactful for Schlatt and could lead to a scenario in which he would be very desperate to stay near the person that revives him). So him wanting to have a community and clear structure makes a lot of sense. So he would definitely be opposed to anarchy that Technoblade and Phil want.

One of the main instincts is to keep the flock safe...so getting rid of danger (such as Tubbo, as he is a traitor) is a reasonable response. (Not saying that Tubbo deserved death but besides of getting rid of him...there weren't many options. Maybe imprisonment, so he won't carry out important information or plans)

(Also. The angst of Quackity being the one to revive Schlatt and Schlatt just acting overly dependent on him because he was in isolation for such a long time. For something that felt like literal years. Quackity not really understanding. Maybe feeling mocked. But later seeing that Schlatt has that behavior with everyone he knew, like Fundy.)

[keyslox]

twt request ANYWAYS JELQDUO

[tboyquackity]

another thing since we're on the topic. it's actually crazy how cschlatt enjoyers were treated by this godforsaken fanbase are we at the point we can admit none of that was normal. ppl were getting capital h HARASSED ppl were getting DOXXED ppl were getting ostracized and insulted and treated like the dirt under ppls heels and for Why. like WTF Was The Reason. point blank canon period no arguing no 'cuses me's cschlatt didn't even do a quarter of the shit fandom darlings did so why tf was he and anyone who gaf abt him treated like that oh wait he's an addict i forgot ppl won't even see him as a person then L O L. if i had said any of the stuff i say now back in the day ppl would've ripped me to shreds even tho it's RIGHT. it's not a debate it's not up to interpretation i'm RIGHT. even cschlatt kinners and cschlatt introjects were treated like they were dangerous weirdos who needed to be on their best behavior and couldn't even talk abt the shit tht happened to them w/o ppl painting them as abuser losers, like even just existing means they needed to spend forever in penance. actually fucking crazy. if you were a cschlatt in any capacity or a cschlatt fan who was in the trenches yr my #1 forever and ihope the ppl who participated in making this corner of the fanbase completely uninhabitable at least have the good sense to feel fucking bad abt it in hindsight

[quesabo-corner]

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

TedSchlatt (Murder Duo) Platonic or romantic depends on how you want to see it <3 (I wanted to try something clean for once). Inspired by the Smiths ^^ I can't format things sorry >-<

It had been hours of just him. Staring. Staring at the blue light tinted screen. He hadn’t even taken a shower. When he woke up, the clock read 2PM. Now it was 5. So, 3 hours. 3 hours of staring at unrealistic bodies and situations acted out through taboo media. Just him, the screen, and his air pods. Connor hadn’t come in to check on him, he was probably streaming. Not Schlatt. He didn’t have the energy to stream. All his energy was wasted in tissues littered around his bed and his sore right arm. All he did was scroll and click at whatever seemed interesting. It was a virtuous cycle. One started during lockdown. What happened to him? He used to be 150, fit, clean shaven, actually happy with himself. Now he was pushing 200, stretch marks tapered across his thighs and hips, oily hair down to his neck, and the worst he’s ever felt in his life. His spiral, however, was interrupted by an incoming call. Ted. Dang it. What would he even think of him? In bed for three hours just wasting away? Might as well answer. He knew Ted would just ring again and again till someone picked up the phone. “Hey! Schlatt! Are you up?” His voice was cheery. So far from Schlatt’s demeanor. He groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Yeah, yeah I’m up…” “You don’t sound good. You sick or something?” Good, now he was pressing. The last thing he needed was for Ted to figure out he hadn’t left his room. “I’m good. Just… Tired,” he paused, taking in a deep breath, though, the air was stale, no crisp or cool to be found. Just old Texas air. “Well, me and Eddy are heading through Texas today, and I was wondering if you wanted to eat something, join us for a meal. You haven’t been out much, right? Connor said you’ve been kinda down lately.” Fresh… Well, not fresh, but a hot meal that to his knowledge wasn’t from a Marie Calendar’s box made his jaw twinge with hunger. The idea alone was seductive to his sun-deprived body. “Don’t tell me its at Rainforest Café,” he let out a somewhat forced laugh, but it was low enough for the strain to be unnoticed. “Well…” Ted chuckled. He could just hear the smile. “What time?” “In an hour or so. I know its last minute, sorry, but it just hit me that you were in the area.” He sounded almost ashamed, but he wasn’t one to take anything personally, not with Ted, at least. Dang. As much as Schlatt wanted to continue melding into his mattress, to sink farther into the pit he had dug for himself, he couldn’t. For once, he’d be able to see his friend, and go out and get… Well, it was 5, so moonlight. Fresh air to suffice. Something to bring his decaying body back to life. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” his voice was raspy, dehydrated. He realized he hadn’t had anything to drink except a day old cup of red which had been emptied out hours ago. “Sweet. You think Connor can come?”

“I’ll ask…” Schlatt was hesitant to leave the room, especially if Connor happened to be streaming. He and Connor shared an audience, that he knew, so for the viewers to see him, or the husk of himself, was not the most appealing. “Let me get ready, though.” “It’s 5:23, you aren’t up?” Ted laughed, but it hid true concern. “Can’t a guy sleep in?” He rebutted. “Schlatt, be honest. When did you get up?” “2… Ish… I don’t remember.” “What the hell have you been doing for the past 3 hours?” “You don’t wanna know.” That wasn’t a lie. Not for the bit, or the comedic effect. He was too tired to do any of those. That was a true statement. He’d rather put a bullet through his skull than admit to Ted what he had been doing in his cave of a room for an extended period. It was silent on the other end of the line, just for a moment. “If you need to talk, I’m here, man. Just don’t let… Whatever your dealing with mess you up.” It was short, to the point. The metaphorical door of talking was not opened but cracked. Enough to allow a glimpse of himself to be shown but conceded if need be. “Yeah, thanks, man. Let me get in the shower, and I’ll ask, okay? It’ll be quick.” “Yeah, talk to you in a minute.” Ted was the one to hang up. Schlatt sat up with a whine. His back ached from lying in the same position for too long. His head spun with the sudden blood rush. “God…” He groaned. His attempt to stand up was unsteady, his knees buckling backwards, causing him to cuss out of sheer surprise. He got his balance and slid on some boxers, that way if Connor wasn’t streaming, he wasn’t privy to his bare body. He grabbed a tee and some jeans. No way in hell was Ted or Eddy going to see what his body had shaped into. He made his was to his bathroom. Luckily, their house was so big that you could go days without seeing anyone. Sometimes, it led to that mental decline, sometimes, it meant he could get inebriated with no consequences. The shower was inviting to his weary frame. The hot water drenched his hair as soon as he stepped in. “I really needed this…” He muttered to himself. After his shower and getting himself ready, which took 10 minutes tops, he made his way to Connor’s office. He heard some talking, so he just entered. Most likely, he would have his headphones on, so knocking would be futile. Connor swiveled around in his chair, seeing Schlatt in his stream. “Hey, what’s up?” He clicked the mute button, slipping off his headset. “Ted is heading through here later… Well, in an hour, and wanted to know if you wanted to join for dinner.” “Man… I would, but I’m in an event, sorry dude. Tell him I say hi, though.” Real blunt, huh. Schlatt nodded, leaving Connor to finish up whatever he was doing in the first place. He went back to his room. It was an absolute dumpster fire of a living space. Before he got to cleaning, he whipped out his phone.

Schlatt: Connor can’t make it. Sorry. I’ll be going tho. What time? Ted: :( Man. Alright. Around 40 mins. Schlatt: Sounds good. See u then

Luckily he was already dressed and clean, but it was the state that he was living in that now bothered him. His first action was opening the windows. Instead of warm sunshine greeting the walls of the room, it was a soft sunset. He took a moment to just… Look. It was gorgeous, the way it dipped beneath the houses that lined the street. The Texas sun coated the sky in a hazy pink and orange, the clouds similar to cotton candy at the state fair. It was one of the few things he enjoyed about this state, besides the open carry, guns, and video opportunities. Sure, Texas couldn’t hold a candle to the nature of his home state, but it had its silver linings, the sunsets and sunrises being one of them. I got to get cleaning; he thought to himself.

His cleaning spree, rapid and much needed, was cut short by a vibrating in his back pocket.

Ted: Hey we’re here figured you wanted to ride with us Schlatt: Be out in a few

He dropped the vacuum he had dragged out and slipped on some tennis shoes. Just something to walk in, since he was going to a boardwalk. He walked outside, greeted by the honking of Ted’s rather dingy truck. His window was rolled down. “Get in the back, we’re going to eat!” Ted laughed. Schlatt obeyed, having to run to Eddy’s side as luggage was piled up behind Ted. “Hey Ted, Eddy.” Schlatt gave a curt nod to the other man sitting in front of him. He returned the gesture with a smile, albeit rather hidden from his mustache. “Buckle up, Schlatt,” Ted reminded. “Oh, yeah.” He did as he was told, making small talk the whole time. ‘How was the ride?’ ‘Liking Texas so far?’ It was all very meaningless. Just to keep the action moving. It was around a 20-25 minute ride until they got there. All three men hopped out of the car, which groaned at the loss of weight. “Dude, you gotta get your suspension checked.” “She don’t need a thing,” Ted smirked, patting the car before leading them to the entrance. Eddy opened the first set of doors, and Schlatt opened the second. ‘Why have two doors’ was something Schlatt always asked himself when going to chain restaurants like this. Immediately, he felt out of place. It was three 20 something white men in a Rainforest Café. They weren’t the usual target audience. Except Ted. This was Ted’s ballpark, his magnum opus. He mused the decorations, ones he had seen before, but the magic still lingered for him. Eddy was impartial to the 30 minute intervals of thunderstorms, to which they walked in on one pretty much on que. “Jesus, could it be literally any louder?” Schlatt grumbled. “It was blaring in our ears once. We got sat next to the elephant animatronics one time. Now we request to be seated away,” Eddy playfully rolled his eyes with a shrug. Clearly, the experience wasn’t foreign. To Schlatt, despite the rather loud atmosphere and bright colors, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the birthday parties, not even exclusively at a Rainforest Café. Like, the ones from 2nd grade where he’d go to Chuck-e-Cheese or Dave and Busters where he’d just eat chicken tenders and run around with his friends. Just for a moment, his mind wasn’t running through video ideas, porn clips, or general anxiety. For just a split second, he was 9 again running around space, pointing at the massive animatronics with his friends while his mother yelled at him to get back by her side and to not embarrass her in front of the other parents. For a moment, he was chewing misshapen pizza with animatronic creatures singing in the background, truly content with his life, even at the time it was just mediocre pizza on a Saturday. He felt his eyes sting, just for a second. Normally, he wasn’t emotional, but for some reason, his apathy was softened by the rather simple scene. It was just a restaurant, a family entertainment center. He couldn’t truly place why he was getting misty-eyed at massive animal animatronics and slightly better-than-average food, but he was. Maybe it was pureness of it all, maybe the fact his friends cared enough to drag him out here. It wasn’t truly clear. “Dude, you alright?” Ted’s voice cut through his nostalgia trip. He blinked a bit. “Yeah, just takes me back.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Me too,” Ted smiled before having a server lead them to a table. Schlatt glanced over the menu that he was handed. “They have alcohol here?” He was a bit surprised, but there needed to be something for fathers in their 40’s with a failing marriage to order at a ‘family outing.’ That’s at least the reason Schlatt put behind the rather out of place menu section. “Yeah, its okay. I recommend this one,” Eddy pointed at a rather toxically blue drink. It probably had fifty different sweeteners in it, all synthetic, but Schlatt shrugged. Might as well.

“Alright, thanks.”

Food came, and it was better than expected. The safari fries had a creole seasoning to them, the flavors mellow and savory. His burger wasn’t half bad either. The cheese melted across the patty and the lettuce was fresh. The drink wasn’t awful as he thought it’d be. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it was strong. He could handle it though; he had drunk his way through 2020, so a tolerance for the drinks had been built up. “This is actually really good,” Schlatt noted. “Did you think we were gonna take you somewhere with crap food?” Ted joked. “Well, you’ve said how it can be bad!” Schlatt raised his hands in mock surrender. “Now, c’mon, you know us better then that.” Ted grinned. “Yeah, yeah…” Schlatt shook his head with a smile, slipping out his wallet. “No, you aren’t paying for jack-” Ted began, but it was too late. The server had approached their table, receipt in hand. Ted tried to yank his arm down, but Schlatt reached out his hand, craning the card towards the waiter, who took it, impartial to the internal conflicts the table were undergoing. Eddy just laughed and filmed, shaking his head. “You… You…” Ted seethed, glaring at the other man. “I have too much money, I don’t even know what to do with it.” “We have a sponsor! They literally offered to pay for the meals… Oh my god…” Ted groaned, head in hands. “Well, keep the sponsor money, I don’t care,” Schlatt shot him a satisfied smirk. Eddy blinked. “So…” “Yeah…”

“We owe you, Schlatt, like… I dunno, a cameo or something.” Eddy glanced over to Ted, who nodded in agreement. “You owe me nothing, just taking me out was enough.” “It was on your dime!” Ted exclaimed. “You drove me, though.” “It was a 20 minute drive!” Eddy butted in, fake aggravated as well. “Well, sucks to suck,” Schlatt leaned into the back of his chair, hands behind his head, stretching his upper back. The waiter approached once more. “Your card, sir.” They smiled. Schlatt took the card, careful not to seem hasty. “Thank you,” he responded. “Wanna go to the pier?” Ted suggested. The boardwalk was right outside, so no driving was necessary. It wasn’t particularly hot outside either.

“Sure,” Schlatt shrugged.

The moon swayed in the reflection of the water. It was larger than he remembered it being, but then again, he hadn’t stepped outside in a couple days. The windchill was low, so no jacket needed. They just walked and talked, catching up on their lives. It was few and far between when they had time to just chat about things other than YouTube and videos. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’ll be back,” Eddy didn’t interrupt, but he did warn, waving as he jogged to off to the public restrooms. It was just Ted and Schlatt, the latter running his fingers across the wooden barrier. He was careful not to get a splinter, but reckless enough to do it in the first place. Ted slowed his walk, Schlatt mirroring the action. They turned to the water. Ted leaned on the barrier, turning to his friend. “You okay, man?” Schlatt was slightly taken aback. “Uh, yeah, why?” “You just haven’t seemed okay lately. I wasn’t gonna bring it up in front of Eddy, but I just wanted to know.” Ted’s hand seemed like it moved towards his own, but it stopped. “I…” Schlatt couldn’t really explain what he was going through. Not just because he was in public. No, he’s talked about more obscene things with friends in bar more times than he could count. But this was different. “You don’t have to share; I just want to know if you’re okay.” Ted’s voice was soft and low. Soothing to him. “I’ve just been really struggling with some stuff.” He kept it vague. Not like he needed to know what he was doing under the sheets. “Well, if you ever just need to take your mind off whatever’s up in your head, just give me a call. I’m up to talk anytime, okay?” His smile was sweet, genuine. “Thanks, man.” Schlatt felt a tear run down his cheek. Ted chose not to point it out but instead open his arms. Schlatt accepted, giving his friend a squeeze. He tucked his head into his friend’s shoulder. Ted rubbed circles into his back. It was soothing. Calming. The people around them seemed to just melt away. Just the two of them by the moonlit water. It lasted only a few moments, a little under a minute, but it was well needed. “Of course,” Ted murmured before Schlatt broke the hug, wiping his damp eyes. They stared at each other, just for a second, before they heard approaching footsteps. Eddy. “Hey, sorry, there was a bit of a line,” he explained. “You’re good.” Schlatt tried to hide the wavering in his voice. “So, I heard there’s an ice cream joint down on the end of the pier if you guys want to go get some,” Eddy suggested. “Sure. If you want to, Schlatt,” as if a second thought, Ted turned to Schlatt.

Schlatt hummed with a nod, gaze softening at the sight of his friend.

By the time they got to the ice cream place, the lines that would have normally been there on a Saturday night had dissipated. “Crap, they’re only open for like 10 more minutes,” Eddy bolted towards the door, Schlatt and Ted in tow. Once in line, it didn’t take long for everyone to order. “One chocolate in a bowl,” Schlatt said. “Strawberry in a waffle cone for me,” Ted added. “Just a vanilla in a sugar cone,” Eddy finished. Ted and Schlatt turned to the other. “Sugar cone?” They said in almost unison.

“Oh, f off.” Eddy rolled his eyes.

They all sat on the wooden pier, leaning against the rails. Schlatt was savoring his, Ted was just a slow eater, but Eddy had pretty much finished his aside from a few remaining bites of the sugar cone. “What the hell do you guys have against the sugar cone?” Eddy frowned at the two, using a napkin they were handed to clean off his mustache. “It’s in the name, Ed. Sugar. It’s sweets on top of sweets. Just enjoy the ice cream with a crunchy superior cone. Sugar cones have the consistency of Styrofoam,” Ted explained, taking a bite of his waffle cone for demonstration. “Well, hold on Ted, sugar on sugar is the point of ice cream!” Schlatt interjected. “What is the point of ice cream without a good cone?” “You have a cup!” Ted jabbed his finger to point at the truth, that yes, his ice cream was in a cup. “It was the cheapest option!” Schlatt defended himself. “You are a millionaire and you cheap out on a CONE?” Eddy burst out laughing. “Wha- hey! Nonono, it was on your card, I don’t go ordering just anything!” Schlatt’s face was red, maybe from mock anger or just plain embarrassment. “We have a sponsor! We told you this! It’s fine!” Ted was getting riled up at the sheer absurdity of Schlatt’s rather backwards logic. “Oh my god…” Schlatt groaned, stuffing his mouth with more ice cream to avoid the conversation. “Jesus,” Eddy breathed. “Waffle cones are best,” Ted finished off his ice cream. “Agreed,” Schlatt nodded.

“Well wait-”

After ice cream, dinner, and some more walking, Ted and Eddy drove Schlatt home. His home loomed in front of them, Schlatt still in the car which was parked in his driveway. Schlatt stepped out and began his walk up to the door but paused when he heard another door shut. “Schlatt.” He turned around, Ted jogging up the path. “What’s up?” His hands were deep in his pockets. “I just wanted to give you a good hug. I won’t see you for a while, so,” Ted’s face was a bit red, but Schlatt disregarded it. “Yeah, of course,” Schlatt opened his arms, Ted accepting the silent invitation. Ted wrapped him in a hug, not loose or weak, but firm. “Know that I care about you, dude. A lot,” Ted murmured. It was quiet, even if no one else was around. Meant for Schlatt and Schlatt alone. “I love you too, man,” Schlatt reciprocated. He couldn’t remember the last time he said “I love you” to another person. But he meant it. Ted broke the hug, rather reluctantly. As much as he wanted to stay there with his friend, he knew that he needed to get back on the road. Eddy was still waiting in the car, probably confused.

“I’ll be seeing you around. Podcast filming tomorrow, right?” Ted asked. “Yeah.” “Try and get out of bed early, okay?” He teased. “Screw you, man.” “Love you too,” Ted responded, giving him a smile before turning to his car. The words lingered for a moment in Schlatt’s mind as he waved goodbye. He didn’t enter his house till the truck was out of sight. But when he did return to his room, now clean, he felt calm for once. He opened his phone.

Schlatt: Thanks for a great night. Good luck on the road, get some rest He got a response immediately. Ted: Thanks! You too :)

He stared at the text for a bit longer than one should, but when he put down the phone, the lights shut off, he acknowledged that he felt better stepping outside. Hanging out with friends. Not holed up. He grabbed his phone again. He set an alarm for 10AM. Earliest he’s probably gotten up in a while. He placed the phone back down. Good. He smiled to himself before settling in and eventually falling asleep, feeling better than he had in months.

[lavenderstarsx]

ayyy

so for the past few days i have been writing a dsmp high school au fic. i just wanted to post it on here just in case anyone cared.

if you like crime boys, tnt duo, and clingy duo then i am pretty sure you will like it. :)

it mostly centers around tommy and wilbur.

lots of angst

i'm an okay writer but i’m really proud of this fic i also try to write a chapter every day that i can

so if you can check it out that would be great :)

[greeniscosmic]

I need jschlatt to play backyard baseball so badly

good news!!! i vaguely remember him mentioning playing it when he was younger!!! big win for the backyard baseball fandom

[homiesexuallaj]

LFGGG JSCHLAT MENTOINNNN

JSCHLAT MENTION ‼️‼️

[nick-close]

Sometimes I think about the jschlatt fan who stopped supporting dndads because the cast was ‘problematic’. I wonder what they’re doing right now.

[regretfulmoth]

Old art of Kristin from my old magical girl au from last may/june (lore under the cut)

In the au she's a vigilante with Phil who is against Schlatt turning the artform of being a magical girl into a glorified, government funded dog fights/beauty pageants. Kristin was once actually apart of the MGA (Magical Girl Association/Arena) back when it was just a program that paid magical girls for the work they do for the city. But once Schlatt retired being a MG and started running the MGA more as a business, Kristin was kicked from the program for her powers being seen as "too gruesome and unprofitable".

The MGA makes its profits in two ways: Selling licensed merchandise of its MG's and letting outsiders watch/make wagers on the MGs fighting each other as training. Kirstin, also known as "Lady Death" when she's in MG form, has the ability of speeding up one's lifecycle by touching them. (think of the Forest Spirit from Princess Monokoke) The speed of this rapid aging does somewhat depend on her emotions and her relationship with whatever living thing she touches (Example: if she touches Phil while calm for 30 seconds, he'll age 4-5 years. But if she touches Schlatt for the same amount of time while emotions are high, he would be a pile of bones.) Her power is known as "Life Acceleration" and is theorized to contribute to her slower aging. This power cannot be turned off and she wears gloves 24/7 to prevent any accidental aging. Its also been theorized that once/if she dies, then her life acceleration will plague the world and cause the extinction of life on earth, but those are just silly fan theories and head canons :).

Well with this darker reputation in mind, Lady Death had a fairly small fanbase and an even smaller demand for merchandise. Lump in with the fact she can't train like the other MGs because of the risk of killing her fellow MGs. At first Kristin was pissed but rather understanding as of why she couldn't be a part of the MGA to an extent but as the policies became more restrictive and bias towards more "profitable magical girls", her patience with the program grew thin.

Her final straw was the day the MGA change their payment policies to the point where only the most popular and "brand safe" MGs could ever make a living under the MGA. A program where its whole point was to give the dozens of people brave enough to defend civilians from danger the resources and pay they need to continue their work is now throwing money to whoever throws more back. These new policies essentially forced Phil into finding a new job because what once could comfortably cover his life with Kristin and a small family down the line is now barely anything.

So, during the day Phil and Kristin work their full time jobs and at night they each do commission work as Magical Girls as a side hustle. Since the new policies there has been a shortage of MGs who can/are willing to deal with threats that are causing a muck. This has led to people personally commissioning Unofficial Magical Girls to do smaller jobs like patrolling on a smaller scale to prevent any situations from happening. Doing commission work is rather risky because its illegal to be a MG without a proper license and the only way to get one is if you're part of the MGA and you work under the programs regulations.

The couple, especially Kristin is very against the MGA and what has become of it. There was a brief moment in time where the two were very vocal of these changes in policies but the movement was not successful. Kristin to this day is a unofficial magical girl and her persona as Lady Death is still openly against the MGA. Meanwhile Phil has retired from the magical girl scene and is now focused on being a stay-at-home father.

[thislilfecker]

make a poll with five of your all-time favourite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favourite.

I was tagged by: your mom

Anyone who wants, please consider yourself tagged!!

[schlatt-is-president]

”I love my little anorexic ram.” -Nxvison talking about Oves

[revivedbigguyschlatt]

WILLLL WHERE ARE YOU MY WIFEE MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIENDDD <\333