#junior centipede

[ckr0kmaster]

They were watching the human centipede.

[carionto]

Hardcore Space Parkour

Some Humans are worryingly agile. And stupidly driven to endanger themselves. For no reason we can understand.

________________________

Within the Coalition governing station of the segment of the Galaxy where the Sol system is are countless embassies for each member civilization. Each is designed to accommodate their respective species (or multiple in certain cases) to the fullest while also being able to host guests from any other member.

Then there are the communal areas, set for a galactic standard that is viable for the majority - gravity at 0.6 Earth, far less of that dangerous oxygen, and slightly more humid and cooler than what Humans are normally comfortable with. In fact, Humans technically fall outside the Galactic standards and are all equipped with a partial breathing assistance unit and pressurized clothing to stimulate their circulation. While they can function reasonably well despite what we assumed would be too draining without assistance, most Humans do make use of these gadgets.

Some, however, prefer to "stimulate" themselves a bit differently.

There is a small group of individual Humans many have dubbed "Leaping Cortix" after an infamous invasive fuzzy gelatinous centipede-like pest species that always manages to make a hive on any sufficiently large space station or vessel given enough time. Everybody swears they're some kind of magic, and it's hard to dissuade such a notion when there are fairly common reports of ships on deep isolation missions, without making contact with anyone or anything else for years at a time, still one day find themselves with a pack of Cortix skittering about near their nutrition supplies!

This group of Humans, found the title amusing and have embraced it. One of them even made a hooded sweater with the name and a stylized Cortix jumping off the letter x.

The reason for the name is simple - despite becoming integrated into the Coalition just around a year ago, Humans seem to appear everywhere within this segment of the Galaxy. Mostly in small groups for tourism reasons, but the point still stands. And these Humans in particular appear to make it a habit to appear out of the most unexpected places.

The leaping portion comes from how this group tends to move around the communal areas. Most Humans adapt to the lower gravity and eventually (rather quickly actually) change how they move around when outside their embassy - the movements seem more relaxed, fluid, some even appear to exert almost no effort at all in their steps. This group on the other hand utilizes the full force of their incredibly dense musculature.

First, they jump good. Real good. Then they bounce and pivot, real fast. After a few days they started a game - get to any place without touching the floor. Not even a day later they managed to always be in the air.

At first it was impressive and quite mesmerizing. Quite a sight to behold as they got better and quicker at chaining their jumps and bounds together into one smooth motion that took them from one part of the station to the other in mere moments.

Then they started getting bored. And one of them had an idea. An "awesome" idea.

Add flying robots and moving obstacles.

Chaos ensued. Naturally.

As the Humans leapt off of one of the maintenance machines they programmed to hover between several distant structures, it could not compensate for the sudden recoil from the movement and crashed down on the floor. Thankfully it was above a small garden and only some artificial plants were damaged, as well as itself, but that was enough to call in the peacekeeping units to put a halt to their antics.

We deliberately brought a Human peacekeeper along to make the reprimand stick. The Leaping Cortix, most of whom are junior staffers and one is a retired military veteran now serving as a consultant, looked ashamed, but also sad. At least they seemed to understand the gravity of the situation (though perhaps not as well as the physics of gravity) as the wreckage was cleared in clear sight of everyone.

After the offending member was issued a token fine (as it was their first offense), the group as a whole became less active. Initially, most people felt relieved, but as the incident grew more distant in memory, the sight of the flying Humans started to become missed by quite a few.

Some from the more physically able races were even inspired to try this "parkour" the Humans had demonstrated and found it quite thrilling. When done in a lower than their normal gravity that is. Trying it at their standard caused a few broken bones and cracked shells.

There is currently a petition by the permanent residents to dedicate a large open indoor field for such extreme physical sports as well as to commission the design of a variety of machines to facilitate, as written in the official documentation - "stimulating courses to improve the physical well being and readiness of all participants".

I.E. - Humans introduced a new sport to us and many are hooked.

[stardust-sunset]

Prev anon from before. Yeah, I get what you mean. :/

In that case, tell us all about your fave Kyle Broflovski. Wholesome hcs?

yeah…honestly just sucks. i’m getting through it though, i’m just really jumpy ig.

as for kyle headcanons? i have a few

He has an extremely close relationship with his mother. He’s a mama’s boy and would sell his kidney for his mother. His father, he’s not AS close with, but he loves his father. They have a healthy dynamic

He gets hiccups real easily

Hes really good at sewing, his mom helped him make his High Jew Elf King outfit and ever since he’s just associated sewing with something he liked to do with his mom

He’s an angry crier, doesn’t cry often, but he has to be absolutely livid before he cries

After the toilet papering incident, he felt kinda bad about not at least giving art a shot, turns out he genuinely enjoys painting. Namely spray painting. He’s really good at spray painting space scenes and such

Hes terrified of centipedes

He’s actually a very nurturing person, but he has to really know and care about you in order to let this side show

He does swim, he’s canonically a good swimmer and can also hold his breath for long amounts of time, so he would likely do swim in the fall, basketball in the winter and lacrosse in the spring

He did football for a year, likely his junior year, but he didn’t have time to do swim and football, and he enjoyed swim more, so he picks swim over football

He’s not a good reader unless he’s genuinely enjoys the topic, otherwise he’s awful at reading

He’s the kind of person to drag his feet about getting a pet but then if you catch him with said pet he’s treating it like his child, snuggling with it, playing with it and doing that stupid baby voice with it, but claims he “never wanted a pet”

He was very tall and lanky in his freshman year, it was really awkward for him because he would get huge growth spurts and be super clunky because of it. Think of a puppy whose paws are too big for its body. That’s Kyle.

He’s a sleep cuddler. If he’s sleeping in the same bed as someone, he absolutely just holds them and when he wakes up he gets really embarrassed

Sends Cartman Happy Father’s Day things

His love language is quality time

Honestly doesn’t know how he ended up in honors. Things just come naturally to him, he doesn’t actually try that hard in school

He sometimes goes to choir concerts or drama shows because he finds them nice. He’s canonically a person who enjoys theater somewhat. (Lion King?? remember?)

Vienna by Billy Joel makes him cry

He thinks Taylor Swift is overrated. He respects her as an artist but extreme Swifties piss him off.

He ends up learning to play guitar, but doesn’t really play often. He’s not a music kinda guy.

He’s a rainbow baby (I made this hdc before but y’know)

Went to law school before he ended up deciding it wasn’t for him, he ended up going to a Colorado school instead to become a child psychologist (or a teacher, idk)

idk if these are good but yk

[icykalisartblog]

Ode to Jiggly

The first time I saw a house centipede was in my childhood home. I was very young, so young I wasn't totally used to using the adult toilet yet, and I was sitting there when I noticed what looked like a huge (to tiny kid me) bundle of hair tucked beside the bathroom door. Then it started violently shaking. I yelled out and ran away. When I talked to my parents about it I learned it was a centipede, and the internet informed me that it was a house centipede specifically. They are beneficials, they eat bugs that tend to be household pests, the Google results said. I was happy to learn this, and I have always loved bugs, but after that experience I was not eager to see one again.

As I grew up, I named a house centipede I spotted in the house occasionally over a period of years "Jiggly" after the movement of its legs. Eventually, this turned into my calling every house centipede Jiggly and dubbing the entire species "jigglies." Maybe it was the experience that comes with age, or just no longer being so small that they looked gigantic, but when I moved in to my college dorm room I was delighted when a few nights into college I noticed an average-sized house centipede sitting on the wall above the radiator! I named it Jiggly right away and was delighted to have it stay.

The dorm I was in was known for roach and rat problems. It was something I had been dreading going in. Fortunately, I never had infestations. Instead, I had Jiggly. Usually I'd see Jiggly at night when the radiator was on, it liked to be on the wall or ceiling at those times. They can run like lightning, but can also stay still for hours at a time. Sometimes I'd see it sitting on the side of the sink, staring at me. I found this disconcerting, but now I'm pretty sure it was just trying to have a drink. Sometimes I saw it disappear into a crack in the wall. I suspected that because I tried to keep my room clean with no food crumbs anywhere, Jiggly was usually just passing through my room to warm up before getting to someone else's that maybe had a bug infestation.

A photo of Jiggly on my dorm room wall

By the next year, I noticed more house centipedes passing through my room! A huge one, which I named Mother Jiggly, and a baby I named Jiggly Junior. Baby house centipedes I think are adorable: they only have a few legs at that point, and they are shaped like a little pill and transparent. Because they are so small, they give the impression of running especially fast. At this point, I really started to love the little guys. They groom all the time, keeping themselves clean, they keep living spaces free of things like roaches or silverfish, and all I had to do was do some basic house centipede-proofing of my room. I made sure to close the toilet, drawers, and anything else that a bug could be trapped in. Other than that, they required no care at all. I ended up thinking they're like tiny cats, but might make even better "pets" than that! They even have cute beady eyes and plenty of stripes!

I did have exactly two scares. Once, Jiggly fell off the ceiling right over my desk while I was sitting these. I jolted as it scurried all over my keyboard, around my cup of water, and then disappeared behind the desk. Another time, I woke up with two itchy red marks on my hand—probably from a house centipede who had fallen on my hand while I was sleeping. I could not find one anywhere in my bed, so hopefully it was okay. House centipedes sting prey with modified front legs called forcipules, and can sting a human, but it only causes a mild reaction and is very rare.

The pandemic, which struck during my senior year, resulted in everyone having to leave campus and move out in a rush. When I was halfway moved-out, I was working on a paper when I heard a scream from the hall. I ran to my door to see what was going on, when I overheard: "WHAT IS THAT?!" and then another person yelling, "IT RAN BEHIND THE DOOR!" I laughed to myself as it dawned on me that two students had their first encounter with a house centipede. I think realizing that jigglies would still be there in the dorm even after I left made me feel less down about moving out suddenly.

I wrote all this down because the other day, I was reflecting on college when I realized it has been over seven years since the day I became a college student. It hit me that from what I have read, house centipedes only live around seven years. All of the ones I became so familiar with, even the baby, are probably gone now. This actually brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. But maybe I can take comfort in the fact that now, in that same building, there are probably so many more jigglies.

[chai-licorice]

I decided for no reason other then being worried for season 2 for...... reasons to make a super self indulgent modern day au for Trigun so here we goooooo I have... many thoughts enjoy :D

Vash got in a bad accident before senior year started which resulted in most of his scars and his missing arm, it was Nais fault but he doesn't blame him. This is the same year Livio and Wolfwood came to their school so they didn't meet until way later.

Wolfwood and Vash met in college, Wolfwood worked at one of the cafes there (because I'm normal and want to combine basic aus) Vash was immediately smitten much to his horror (my guy never had a crush before)

legato and kni met in high-school, Legato was bullied until he was befriended by the weird angsty albino kid and his cheery brother. Legato and Kni started dating after high-school and are great for each other, terrible for everyone else

Tesla is alive and was adopted by Rem, Luida and Brad. She spends most of her time studying botany taking her moms interests to a more scientific degree and is currently away in college where she befriends Zazie an upcoming Entomologist

Meryl and Milly met in college and started dating, Milly is still in college (being a year younger then Meryl) while Meryl recently got hired to be a junior reporter under Roberto

Meryl and Vash meet when Meryl went to seeds to report on a recent incident (something minor like they grew something rare and it survived) Meryl won't admit it yet but she finds Vash really interesting and cute

Chaos still follows Vash but it's really minor, weird things just seem to happen around him but it usually benefits people instead of making things worse.

Vash and Wolfwood found a cat, Vash took her in and Wolfwood uses the cat as an excuse to visit Vash

Livio has two snakes he takes care of much to his brothers horror (Wolfwood hates snakes but they make Livio happy…yay..) they reference a fun little bit about Livio~

Kni was actually very sickly when he was younger due to being albino but he refuses to acknowledge this due to not wanting to be seen as weak

Brad fucking hates Legato and questions him every time Nai brings him over. Rem often shuts this down much to Brad's distaste. Rem isn't a fan of Legato either but he makes Nai happy?? Luida is also not a fan of him.

Legato and Nai watch human centipede bi-weekly they are so normal and in love

and I still have many thoughts so i might explore this au more!

[joethetoonfanandoutcast]

Offspring Rating List: Disney characters

Now, time for Disney, the leading New World Order company. Keep in mind that this is only half done because there are so many characters (especially male-female pairs) that Disney has, I'll have to re-edit this, adding more.

Mickey/Minnie: yes (why hasn't the company ever given them one)

Donald/Daisy: ???

Goofy/whichever girl: ??? (he's been granted Max already)

Pete/Peg: granted two

Gadget/Zipper: granted 42, I think

Max/Roxanne: ???

Max/Mona: ???

PJ/Beret Girl: ???

Bobby/Stacy: ???

Snow White/Florian: ???

Bambi/Faline: granted two

Thumper/Miss Bunny: granted a few

Flower/Miss Skunk: granted one

Cinderella/Prince Charming: ???

Anastasia/Baker: ???

Jaq/Mary: ???

Lady/Tramp: granted four

Scamp/Angel: ???

Ruby/Buster: ???

Jim Dear/Darling: granted one

Aurora/Phillip: ???

Pongo/Perdita: granted 15 (though adopted 84 more)

Roger/Anita: ???

Baloo/Rebecca: Beckers has Molly but I'm not sure about further

Kit/Molly: ???

Hathi/Winifred: granted one

Thomas/Duchess: three plus how many kittens originally planned for a follow-up

Robin/Marian: yes; either six or a dozen

Father Saxton/Little Sister: ???

Bernard/Bianca: ???

Tod/Vixey: yes (six should be just fine, at least that's what Vixey thinks)

Taran/Eilonwy: ???

Basil/Miss Kitty: maybe

Dodger/Rita: yes

Tito/Georgette: ???

Ariel/Eric: granted one

Belle/Adam: ???

Lumiere/Fifi: ???

Cogsworth/Wardrobe: ???

Angelique/Fife: ???

Aladdin/Jasmine: ???

Iago/Thundra: ???

Simba/Nala: granted three

Timon/Tatiana: ???

Pocahontas/John Rolfe: ???

Nakoma/her husband: ???

Nakoma/Thomas (in some sequel-less AU): ???

Centipede/Miss Spider: ???

Earthworm/Glowworm: ???

Quasimodo/Madelleine: ???

Phoebus/Esmeralda: granted one

Hercules/Meg: ???

Mulan/Li Shang: ???

Yao/Mei: ???

Ling/Ting-Ting: ???

Chien-Po/Su: ???

Flik/Atta: ???

Rosie/Slim (if they became one): ???

Tarzan/Jane: ???

Aladar/Neera: most likely

Kuzco/Malina: ???

Kronk/Miss Birdwell: maybe

Milo/Kida: yes

Mike/Celia: yes

Tylor/Val: ??? (if they want to be more than friends)

Nani/David: maybe

Stitch/Angel: ??? (I don't know if they should, considering they were both created by Jumbaa)

Dr. Doppler/Captain Amelia: granted four

Kenai/Nita: yes

Rutt/Anda: yes

Tuke/Kata: yes

Maggie/Bob: no

Grace/Barry: no

Mrs. Calloway/Junior: no

Lucius/Honey: ???

Violet/Tony: ???

Chicken Little/Abby: maybe

Runt/Foxy Loxy: no

Linguini/Colette: ???

Edward/Nancy: ???

John/Mary: ???

Bolt/Mittens: no (I'd rather it was in a human-free anthropomorphic world)

Tiana/Naveen: maybe

Charlotte/Travis: maybe

Rapunzel/Eugene: maybe

Felix/Calhoun: maybe

Anna/Kristoff: ???

Hiro/Gogo: ???

Riley/Jordan: no (I'm not sure if any thing between them would last)

Judy/Nick: ???

Flash/Priscilla: ???

Luca/Giulia: ???

Mariano/Dolores: ???

Meilin/Carter: no

Meilin/Tyler: no

Wade/Ember: yes

Clod/his girlfriend: ???

Gale/Fern: ???

[twsthc]

junior favorite movies & series 🎬

⚠️ warnings: none!

last updated: september 22, 2023

☆

💎📽 CATER DIAMOND: Mean Girls, Euphoria

you know i had to do it to em

wears pink on wednesdays and quotes Mean Girls ALL the fucking time

started euphoria because he heard it was good online

ended up crying while watching it

🍀🎬 TREY CLOVER: Don't Look Up, The Great British Bakeoff

trey is a huge fan of horror and thrillers which no one expects

Dont Look Up is tame enough to be on this list

so no one will look at me crazy like they did when i suggested Human Centipede...

no one understands me...

🏹📽 ROOK HUNT: My Best Friend's Wedding, Predators

they like romantic sappy movies because they are romantic and sappy

has watched this movie 9000 times with vil

"roi du poison, i will really never understand the audacity of this woman..." they say for the nth time (referring to julianne)

also they enjoy nature documentaries

🦇🎬 LILIA VANROUGE: Scream, Azumanga Daioh

i wanted to include a gory anime like csm or higurashi but theyre all riddled with fanservice and/or questionable morals so i went with AD

it was that or lucky star, both are good but eh

anyway he loves horror movies

housewarden headcanons here!

[tempenensis]

In your opinion, what animals represent some jjk characters? I’ve been thinking:

Sukuna- tiger (the markings, he is a predator)

Yuuji- wolf/tiger (his fight with mahito, his nickname as the “Tiger of the west junior high)

Megumi-lamb/deer (his role in the story and Cristian undertones that match well with his name)

Gojo-?

Nobara-?

Yuki- lion (self explanatory lol)

Mahito-centipede lmao

Any more ideas?

Usually in jpn fandom, Megumi is associated with either dog, wolf, or bunny because of his shikigami lol. I've seen a lot of fanarts of Gojou being a snow leopard. Nobara... hm, I think fox?

Lol to Mahito. He surely gives that creep vibe

[marisoft-paint-adventures]

Pgs. 385 - 445

TG: skepticism is the crutch of cinematic troglodytes TG: like hey mom dad theres a dinosaur or a ghost or whatever in my room. "yeah right junior go back to bed" TG: fuck you mom and dad how many times are we going to watch this trope unfold it wasnt goddamn funny the first time i saw it TG: just once id like to see dad crap his pants when a kid says theres a vampire in his closet TG: "OH SHIT EVERYONE IN THE MINIVAN" TG: be fuckin dad of the year right there

so fucking true Dave, keep spitting.

EB: that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that's all i'm saying.

ULTIMATE WHITE BOY BRO STRIDER.

oh hey it’s the page I used to showcase Hussie’s affinity for slurs.

uh

still bad.

me when I fucking sTAB MY MOTHER.

I’m having rough flashbacks to HS^2 and I don’t like it.

also I just gotta say that Mom is the coolest looking person in this entire comic I mean just look at this fucking POSE.

it just screams “hello daughter you are going to get fuckin served.”

yes. the pony. beloved Maplehoof.

I’ve always seen this idea that the process of creating Earth, and by extension Universe B, involved taking the attributes and interests of the 12 trolls and morphing them into brand new instances and ideas, like how Gamzee’s Juggalo religion manifested as ICP on Earth.

I like to think that the entirety of the For Assholes book series exists through a recycling of Karkat’s personality.

also that fucking Asshole Note is comedy gold.

aw yeah time to fucking beat the shit out of an imp let’s

shit.

W magnet.

alright for real this time let’s kick the shit out of this imp.

goddammit.

also another White John can be found in this flash, collect all 7 to turn Super White.

also the Egbert Centipede I guess.

Tip: I am so fucking mad.

OK 1 MORE TIME.

he did it. he destroyed the fucker. John man.

YES.

DO THE THING.

YEEEAAAAAAH.

yeah.

fuck you cat I am about to revive.

IT’S HER, CLOWN GRANDMA.

HI NANNA.

TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever TG: or semi-semi ironic TG: man i dont even know TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up TT: I've seen his websites. TT: I like them.

what did she mean by this.

what did she mean by this?

what did she mean by this?!

TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that TG: with those dead eyes jesus TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

not saying it.

Page 422, titled “[S] GO ON. ==>” completely underrated flash, just listen to this fuckin song.

it captures the feeling of a big expository RPG cutscene so damn well I love it, it’s like I’m a kid again.

this is also just one of my favorite Sburb mechanics, I love the concept of basically deciding the abilities and aesthetics of the NPCs via prototyping, it’s such a cool little thing and opens up a lot of possibility for any fan-sessions.

JOHN: ok, i think i get it now! JOHN: so i guess the battle against good and evil is sort of irrelevant? well, i don't know, that all sounds kind of weird, but in any case, we build the house to get to these gates, and then i can save my dad! NANNASPRITE: Yes, John! JOHN: and then after that, we solve this ultimate riddle thing and save earth from destruction!!! NANNASPRITE: Oh no, I'm afraid not!

NANNASPRITE: Your planet is done for, dear! There is nothing you can do about that! JOHN: oh...

I fucking love this sequence because John activates the Cheery Protagonist Mode ready to assemble a team of teens with attitude in order to save the world from Dark Chess and whatever only to hear that the entire world will end and his response is just “aw..... :(”

I went on this entire shpeel about the potential of writing an isolationist John based off of willy nilly prose narration at the beginning but MAN do the early versions of the kids not give a SHIT about what’s going on.

“John Egbert, the Earth is doomed, it is going to explode, all life will die, you and your friends will be the last living things remaining.”

“:(”

AND THEN HE JUST MOVES ON.

this is a very weird moment that sticks out when looking at the comic as a whole because the weight of literally all life dying at once is nonexistent, but at the same time, this is fucking hilarious.

it makes think about a lot of rewrites I’ve seen where they try, emphasis on try, to give the fact that world ends more emotional relevance, and they basically kinda force this by introducing random background characters who are obviously going to die immediately.

like “oh hi my name is Huma Nfriend I’ve been besties with John Egbert since childhood we’re very close and cool and we’re gonna play a game called Sburb!!!” and then they just

I understand y’all want to make the characters actually feel something in regards to the entire home blowing the fuck up but there’s gotta be better ways than inventing some characters just to fridge.

also John does this.

uh, yeah. I don’t know.

he’s having a moment.

just give him some space.

ok now that’s just rude.

god Rose’s house during the winter is so pretty.

holy shit a Jade and Rose conversation, I hope we get plenty of these! (we do not.)

Jade knows about Sburb??? and it could bring Jaspers back to life???? what could it me- ok this joke already fucking sucks.

ah yeah it’s time to beat the shit out of the local whiteboy.

this shit is so fucking cool oh my god.

also there are literally meteors falling as Dave looks out and I guess he does give a shit.

[yourdicc]

Sooo I been thinking about the centipede theme that kenjaku (lowkey also geto) got going on and I wanna share some thoughts.

First off I'm not sure if kenjaku likes to use the centipede curses simply cus they're fond of them or cus they're effective and versatile in combat. - probably both.

Regarding geto, I have no idea if there is any deeper meaning behind him using centipedes, except maybe to comliment his villainy. I mean most people find centipedes kinda disgusting, and geto's vision was also very much disgusting so that's that prolly. If anyone knows if there's more to it I'd be happy to hear about it.

Now to kenjaku again- looking back, they heavily used these curses in the fight with yuuji as well as the one with choso. Seems like ken likes to attack their children with yucky bug horror for whatever reason. I think it's gross and brutal and it seems like a punishment that's being dished out to the kids specifically - kenny is petty like that. It would make sense for choso since he's deemed a failed experiment and thus disappointment, but yuuji is quite alright in kenny's eyes i think, so idk about that. Could just be tough love lmao

And now to the most interesting part; the giant hairy centipede silhouette from ken's imagination.

It made me think of the omukade (giant centipede yokai), more specifically the one from the tawara toda (aka fujiwara no hidesato) monogatari. Tldr this tawara guy slays the giant centipede seta with bow and arrow.

Now hear me out. We know the 3 important sorcerer clans are meant to be descendants from japan's 3 most famous vengeful spirits, one of them being emperor sutoku who is supposedly the ancestor of jjk's kamo clan. Both emperor sutoku & tawara toda were part of the fujiwara family/clan, so there's the connection.

Now which kamo wields bow and arrow? You guessed it, it's none other than noritoshi the junior. IS THIS A COINCIDENCE

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? Noritoshi gonna save the day and destroy kenjaku's dreams? Ofc all this is only relevant if kenjaku's plan succeeds and the curse would look like how it does in their imagination. But bruhhh this got me thinking...

[chunkathang]

Back when I was going through my James and the giant peach obsession in my junior year.

This was my version of Mr. centipede, I’m prolly gonna try and remake it but with more arms and stuff :>

[djmossback]

Spacebar Thrd Spc Sat 16 Sept 2023

THE SETLIST

Let The Music Play, Shannon (lp cut)

Bad Life, PiL (12" 45 RPM)

Give Me Some Slack, Cars (lp cut)

Every 1’s A Winner, Hot Chocolate (lp cut)

Ms. Fat Booty, Mos Def (12" explicit)

Jive Talkin’, Bee Gees (7" 45)

Oh Sheila, Ready For The World (7" 45)

Rock The Casbah, The Clash (7" 45)

Back & Forth, Cameo (12" 33 1/3 )

Roxanne, Police (7" 45)

I Thank You, ZZ Top (lp cut)

Ex’s & Oh’s, Elle King (lp cut)

Walk This Way, RUN D.M.C. (12" 33 1/3 )

2200 hrs

Metal Gods, Judas Priest (lp cut)

You Dropped A Bomb On Me, Gap Band (lp cut)

Sex Shooter, Apollonia 6 (12" 45 RPM)

Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man, Bob Seger System (lp cut)

Let’s Dance, David Bowie (12" 33 1/3 )

Pick Up The Pieces, Average White Band (lp cut)

Got To Be Real, Cheryl Lynn (7" 45)

Couldn’t Get It Right, Climax Blues Band (7" 45)

Love Action, Human League (lp cut)

Love Plus One, Haircut One Hundred (7" 45)

Knock On Wood, Amii Stewart (12" 33 1/3 )

Boogie Oogie Oogie, Taste Of Honey (lp cut)

No Scrubs, TLC (12" 33 1/3 )

Declaration Of Rights, Abyssinians (lp cut)

2300 hrs

Clint Eastwood, Gorillaz (12" 33 1/3 )

She’s Crafty, Beastie Boys (lp cut)

Boys Are Back In Town, Thin Lizzy (lp cut)

The Futures So Bright, Timbuk 3 (lp cut)

Do The Du, A Certain Ratio (12" 45 RPM)

Black Sap Scriptures, Plague Vendor (lp cut)

Hair Of The Dog, Nazareth (lp cut)

Dirty Rat, Orbital (lp cut)

Pressure, Ari Lennox (lp cut)

Keep On Movin, Soul II Soul (12" 33 1/3 )

YAH, Kendrick Lamar (lp cut)

Joan Of Arc, OMD (12" 45 RPM)

West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys (12" 33 1/3 )

Mama Used To Say, Junior (12" 33 1/3 )

Nothing Left To Lose, Everything But The Girl (lp cut)

Midnight

Original Sin, INXS (lp cut, Dance Music comp)(Pictured!)

Rock With You, Michael Jackson (7" 45)

Maneater, Hall & Oates (12" 33 1/3 )

Rise, Herb Alpert (12" 33 1/3 )

Money (Dollar Bill Y’all), Jimmy Spicer (lp cut, hits comp)(Pictured!)

Funk You Up, The Sequence (12" 33 1/3 )

Chameleon, Herbie Hancock (lp cut)

Open The Iron Gate, Max Romeo (lp cut)

Who Do You Love, Bo Diddley (lp cut, mono, hits comp)

Seven Nights To Rock, Moon Mullican (lp cut)

blue bones (deathwish), Billy Nomates (lp cut)

Remembering Me, Cate le Bon (lp cut)

The Meaning Of Love, Depeche Mode (12" 45 RPM)

Little Fluffy Clouds, The Orb (12" 45 RPM Drum & Bass mix by Youth)

Love my Spacebar people.

TASTING NOTES

I was kind of prepared. Lots of new records. New old records, too: a wealth of vintage mid-70s funk and disco 12” records came into my possession. But, none of those made it into the crate; I had plenty of other acquisitions to integrate into the flow. I am constantly on the search for the familiar unexpected, and the unfamiliar unexpected, without falling prey to the obvious. And I did what I set out to do. Some of the best segues I have ever done happened tonight... often followed up with the most ham-handed and poor transitions in the history of Third Space Saturday. I’m just happy DJ IGA was not there to witness it, and scowl at my transgressions!

It probably didn’t sound like anything in the house, but your audience or listeners aren’t concerned with the details or technicalities. They want to play Centipede, or get nice with someone.

Cyberjewel gave herself the night off, which probably lent itself to me getting stuck in the elevator, and getting to the booth at 2058, for a start time of 2100 hrs. I wanted to get there early to set up, because there was a live event the night before. Luckily, except for the house sound, things were largely in order. I struggled with volume in the house, problems that weren’t solved until Jules showed up unexpectedly halfway through. Within 5 minutes, the PA was set properly, and I had an Athletic NA in a glass. 

Will was in the house, stationed at the print shop bar. It was great to play for the man who is piloting the spaceship. “She’s Crafty” was played for him. He was excited to get to “hear a Mossback set.” He set up my backgrounds on the TVs you can see on the video and busied himself breaking down the stage setup in the performance area. He works hard. I’m so happy I get to contribute to this thing he made happen. And I will stay as long as they want me. 

The crowds, as usual, were several waves of different people rolling through. At first there were normals. And that’s when the two “request” inquiries happened. Lately I’ve been engaging with people to help read the room, without actually playing what they request. Tonight, I was just trying to get situated. So, I politely declined. But the third person that came up asked about the Shannon track that I opened with, so I was pumped for that! I loved seeing the early 20s kids dancing around to “Maneater” by Hall & Oates, too. The kids are alright. The ones that come through the bar during my sets are game for anything. Well, not the guy who came up and asked for Drake. No bueno. 

I worry that my approach to things is too laid back, like part of the atmosphere. Perhaps my lack of self promotion, and my “let the music be the program” attitude, doesn’t lend itself to making Mossback sets an “event.” Maybe I need to get on the mike and relentlessly exhort people to wave their hands in the air, and relentlessly name check “MOSSSSS-BAAAAAACK!” ad nauseum. I am going to get some coasters made, maybe that will help.

There were some slack periods, unusual for a Saturday night. It made set construction challenging. The energy from the people in the bar contributes to your set in subtle ways, and it was challenging to play without it. But I found my footing, and learned to play without it. I made choices I might not have made with a crowd there. 

The Shannon track I started with was from an LP, but it was a 12” dance mix. It’s a “dance”-oriented compilation from Atlantic Records that also has INXS (which I played) and Phil Collins (which I didn’t play but may in the future). “Sususudio” kicks! The comp is set up in a good way, three songs per side. It almost feels like cheating, but there is a lot of useful stuff on there and it doesn’t take up a ton of space in the crate. And the three-songs-per-side format sounds good, lots of low end. For what I’m doing, it works out fine. 

Compilations can be too loaded with material to be useful in this setting, too many songs crammed onto a side, bad remastering, no thump or presence. So I’m sparing in my use of them. But I carry several around with me just for fun, like Soul Jazz comps and the Trojan Records Toots and the Maytals collection.

Will loved the Jimmy Spicer track I played from the Ace Records subsidiary BGP collection chronicling the first decade of hip-hop called “Dollar Bill Y’All.” It consists of records released by the Spring label, which was run by an industry lifer Bill Curtis, who was also a member of the band Fatback. Dude heard the potential in the hip-hop sound early, and the Spring offshoot Posse had early work from Ice-T, Afrika Islam, Marley Marl and artists promoted by Russell Simmons, like Jimmy Spicer. I followed that up with a Sugar Hill Records group, The Sequence. I like the old hip-hop sound. It still sounds good in the club. Will also dug the Herb Alpert “Rise” mix I have. It was so much fun to see him and the crew dancing around to it. 

I ended right at 0100 hours. Funny how that worked out. I just didn’t feel like going any longer. Maybe I got too much rest that day. I usually like to go until close, just because I like it there, but tonight it wasn’t right, so I bugged out and got home at a decent hour.

Next Third Space is 21 October, 2023. 9PM to 1AM, unless I get inspired to stay.

[barclaysangel]

When Devon and Jake did a netflix and chill for their first date:

Devon: You like french toast? That’s my favorite too!

Jake: Really? I loved french toast, especially with powdered sugar. You like Scooby-Doo?

Devon: Do I like Scooby-Doo? Who do you think inspired my love for horror? My mother?? Well, she did but Scooby-Doo also played a part in that.

Jake: Really? Just out of curiosity, *getting popcorn* What’s your favorite film, Devon?

Devon: *wide smile* It’s the best movie of all time, I swear to god! A masterpiece of art, if we wanna get technical. It’s called “Human Centipede”, and there’s three movies! We can watch all of them!

Jake: ..I — Human Centipede?

Devon: Yes! Or The Platform. The graphics and costume design was an absolute highlight for me.

Jake: Oh, really? *now a bit nervous since Junior told him that people who like movies like that are “red flags”

Devon: Uh-huh! But, only you want to.

Jake: Sure, why not?

Devon, internally: Oh, thank the Heavenly Lord above. I thought this was gonna be the sixth date in a row I’ve ruined.

Jake, internally: He is totally gonna kill me one day.

Jake wondering if he’s gonna die is so funny XD and fun fact: I recently saw like half of The Platform with my horror obsessed bestie lol

[azuraghost]

The High Priestess - Just Your Average Teenage Oracle

"Hey Kanzaki, a few of us are heading to that new café after class, did you wanna come with us?" Ever since meeting her in their first year of junior high, Hiyori Nakamura, a bubbly outgoing student at Sapporo High School, had always made an effort to make her classmate feel involved whenever she and her friends hung out. However, despite her efforts to get to know her classmate better, Kanzaki Tsukino has never accepted or reciprocated the gesture; always going straight home after school ends for the day. 

        Tsukino looked up from her school bag at the girl whose pigtails bounced as she shifted her weight from side to side, "Sorry Nakamura, I have to head straight home to help my mother with some housecleaning, maybe next time though." She said as she stood up, placing her bag on her shoulder, and pushing her long hair away from her face. Hiyori sighs as she watches as Tsukino starts to briskly walk away. 

        "That's what you always say though."

        "I even mean it this time." Tsukino replied half-heartedly. "But I really do have to go." she then swiftly headed out of the school to catch the bus home. 'I only have twenty minutes to get home before my first reading today, if I'm late again mom will kill me,' she thought to herself, a shiver going down her spine as she sat on the bus. 'Not that it really matters, my readings are bullshit anyways.' Resting her head against the glass, Tsukino watched the scenery pass by. After staring listlessly for a while, she sees an all too familiar sight. A curse, and a nasty one by the look of it. In her family, the only ones that could see them were her and her mother. 'Mom always said to pretend I can't see them -- that I would only get hurt if I tried to do anything; as if she knows anything about fighting curses.'

         Kanzaki Tsukino had been first member of her family in about one hundred years to have been born with a cursed technique. The Kanzaki clan were once a family of powerful sorcerers, but after so many years of no new curse users being born, they fell out of favor with both the sorcery world, and the general public. Nowadays, the defunct clan has been reduced to a bunch of con artists selling bogus tarot readings to the public, Tsukino being their major money maker, due to her ability. 

        The young girl had been "blessed" with a technique centered around divination; having the ability to summon tarot cards using cursed energy, with each card having its own effect. Her mother always called it a blessing at least, saying that this was the dawn of a new era for their family -- chance to rise up from the ashes of its past. Kanzaki however, felt that her technique was nothing more than a burden, causing her to work tirelessly at her mother's behest. The worst part being that her mother told her that she should only ever use her technique to benefit her family, and that she was often strict about enforcing that rule. 

        Just as she was about to look away from the gnarly curse, she noticed a small child being cornered by it. For a moment she hesitated, thinking of what punishment might be in store for her if her mother were to find out that she had used her technique, without her say-so, but ultimately decided that she could not pretend that she had seen nothing. Calling for the bus to stop, she rushed off and back toward the curse she had seen, running as fast as her legs could carry her. 

        'I made it in time' she thought, huffing to catch her breath. Composing herself for a fight she observed her opponent. The curse was about ten feet long and had the body of a centipede with a tough greyish blue outer shell and a pink fleshy underside, but its legs looked more like a human's arms that of a bug's. Its eyes were a veiny red and practically bulging out of its head. She then turned her head to address the young boy being cornered by the serpentine bug, trying her best to sound reassuring. "Hey it's gonna be ok, I'll get rid of this creepy-crawly."

        Taking a deep breath in, Tsukino reached her hand into the left sleeve of her school jacket, pulling out a single card, flipping it over to see if luck was at all on her side. "Sweet! Strength is one of my favorites!" She cheered briefly to herself before getting into a fighting stance as she felt a pair of weighty silver gauntlets materialize over her clenched fists. Her muscles tensing, already felt immensely stronger. Cracking her neck as she rolled her shoulders in anticipation of the incoming fight, she lets out a sharp whistle to divert the curses attention to her, quickly dashing toward its bulbous head. As she approached the disturbing monster, one of its arms began to reach out as if attempting to strangle her. Tsukino delivered a swift punch to the offending limb, hearing a crunch upon impact as the arm bent backward and the centipede-like curse was taken off balance. She smiled gleefully as she then grabbed hold of the its antennae and began to swing the buggy curse around in circles, finally releasing it and launching into the nearby wall. She could hear a series of frantic clicks as she approached the curse's fleshy underbelly, watching uncaringly as its many limbs flailed around trying to turn itself upright. She looks down at the curse, finishing it off with a punch that nearly goes through the creature, her jacket being stained with blood of the curse that's now withering away. 

        "Are you okay, miss?" The young boy asked while running up to older girl as she dismissed her technique. 

        "I'm alright! Do you know where your parents are?" Tsukino responded with a light smile, still feeling the rush from her fight.

        "I'm not sure, we got separated and then that monster showed up." He responded, tears welling up in his eyes.        

        "That's okay. I'll help you look for them, alright?" the boy nodded in response and reached out to take the girls hand. 'I'm toast, there's no way she wont notice the blood on my jacket.' She thought to herself worriedly as she led the crying kid back toward the street.

        "Akira! Akira where did you go!" Shrieked an older woman, running toward the duo. Rushing over to her son she began to turn him from side to side making sure he had not been hurt.

        "Don't worry mama, the pretty blond lady helped me!" Akira exclaimed, while pulling his savior forward. 

        "It was nothing really, I just saw him all alone while passing by and walked with him until you found us." Tsukino replied, winking at Akira with her hands behand her back to hid her bloodied sleeve. "I do have to get going, though." She quickly added, running off before the woman could say anything, completely unaware of the eyes following her every movement. 

        "You're late." A cold voice sounded out, as Tsukino stepped into the house. An older woman with sunken cheeks and greying hair glared harshly at the girl from across the room. "Do you even care about the reputation of this family?"

        "Of course I do mother! I'm sorry I was late, I was helping a lost boy find his mom and I lost track of time." She responded, desperate for the matriarch to believe her fib. Unfortunately, it was all for naught as her mother strode toward her with quick, long steps, grabbing her stained sleeve in a tight, boney grip.

        "Do not lie to me, you foolish girl!" Her mother snarled, shaking her youngest child's wrist back and forth aggressively. "You fought a curse, didn't you?" Tsukino only nodded in response, knowing that at times like this silence was her best option. "We will discuss this later tonight, you have a customer." With that, her arm was released and she quickly headed upstairs to change into her tarot reading costume. 

        Tsukino entered the reception room in a white dress with layers of varying lengths and a black lacy veil covering her eyes. "Hello again, Miss Tanaka. I sincerely apologize for my tardiness. I do hope you have been well since our last meeting." She greets with her head lowered in a show of false humility. 

        "It's alright dearie. I was hoping that you could do a reading regarding my daughter, she recently moved away for college and I am just so worried about her," responded the elderly woman. She had been coming to see the young girl for her fraudulent readings every month for the past three years. 

"Of course I can, Miss." She responded with a saccharine smile, sitting down and pulling out a box containing a deck of tarot cards. "Shall we begin?"

[nobdybettrthnbuttr]

Book Review: Animorphs Book 1: The Invasion

TLDR version: Fun book but none of these characters are getting away from this without some serious therapy needs. So Animorphs is one of those books that I was the perfect age to read as a kid. Only problem is my reading skills as a child weren’t the best and I never made it past the early couple of books. Now that these books seem to be trending (due to someone revealing all the traumatic stuff that goes down) it seemed like the perfect time to read them. Now that I’m an adult who has much better reading skills, I finished the first book in two days while reading between customers at my day job. So I think it’s safe to say I won’t be having the same issues. So for those who don’t know, Animorphs is a book about five middle/junior high school students who are at the mall on a Friday night and on their way home, decide to cut through an abandoned construction site. While there, they suddenly are visited by an extraterrestrial creature in a spaceship. The alien is called an andelight, looks like a blue centaur with a scorpion tail. Plenty of drawings online if you want to know what it looks like. Anyway, said creature tells them that humanity is being invaded by body snatching slugs called Yuurks and that he tried to defend the planet, failed and is dying. He then proceeds to use a blue cube to give them all the power to absorb the DNA of any animal they touch and then morph into said animal. However if they do not morph back to their original form in under 2 hours, the morph remains permanent. Shortly after the alien gives them the power, they have to hide because the bad guy spaceships come and another andelite, this one under the control of a Yuurk and is named Visser Three, steps out of the bad guy spaceship, morphs into a giant alien monster and rips the friendly andelight apart. In front of these kids. Did I mention the andelight is psychic and the children hear his dying screams in their heads? This is why the Animorph books are infamous. You come for the weird cover of the book of the boy slowly morphing into a lizard and stay for the traumatized child soldiers, body horror and war crimes. Anyway, the five kids are as follows. Jake, the main narrator for this book and the guy that for whatever reason, everyone looks towards as a de facto leader. Marco, Jake’s best friend and the guy who seems to be there to tell everyone what a terrible idea it is that they are thinking about fighting an alien race. Rachel, Jake’s cousin. She’s not really given much description in this book beyond being really self confident and also tends to break out into cursing when she’s pissed. Since this is a children’s book, the cursing is not actually said on page but is implied. Cassie, the flower child whose mom and dad are veterinarians and has way more access to deadly animals then any child should. And lastly Tobias, the awkward bullied kid who hangs out because Jake saved him from bullies once and has a terrible home life. CHILDREN'S BOOK EVERYBODY! Anyway, so the kids have to make a daring escape after being chased by Hork-Bjars (race of scary looking aliens that are apparently peacful and are just enslaved by the Yuurks) and Taxxon (weird centipede monsters that like to eat anything and are allied witht the Yuurks of their own free will). They escape and the next day start talking about what to do. Jake is on the fence. Marucs is against it because he’s afraid if he dies, his father will have no will to live. Long story, mom died two years ago and now Marcu’s dad is in a deep depression and has trouble holding down work. Tobias is all for it because of awesome morphing powers that let him get away from his own depressing existence and he had some sort of weird connection with the andelight before it died. The girls are leaning towards yes. But then Jake finds out his brother is actually a controller, that’s the name given to people who are being controlled by Yeerks, and that tips Jake into wanting to fight. The group goes to this weird cult thing that is secretly a Yuurk recruitment/abduction trap that the Yuurks run disguised as a youth group and Jake uses his morph powers to turn into the family dog and sneak up on the secret meeting. Finds out the Vice Principle is a controller Then he hears that his brother suspects him of being at the crash site and that they may need to kill him. So that’s more trauma. Then Jake morphs into a lizard to eavesdrop on his vice principal and discovers the site of the Yeerk Pool. Yeerks have to leave their host body once every three days to recharge in these pools or they will die. Then they go to the zoo and get some better morphs to fight. Then Cassie gets kidnapped and is about to be infected by a Yeerk but then the kids come to save the day with their super awesome battle morphs. Visser Three shows up and they fight. Jake temporarily frees his brother but he gets recaptured and then they escape. But at the last scene in the book, Tobias shows up in his hawk form and reveals he spent more than two hours as a hawk and is now stuck. Overall....the book is entertaining. I can see why they are fondly remembered. But my god, the amount of torture these kids are put through just in book one is immense. I’ve read spoilers for the later books so I know it's only going to get worse. There are a few things that don’t make sense. During the scene where they are running away after gaining morphing powers, Jake is running through the half finished building and wakes up a homeless man. But how did the homeless man not wake up from the destruction of a spaceship literally right next to his sleeping spot. Also why is everyone so hung up on Jake being the leader. I can understand why Tobias would, guy kind of hero worships Jake. But Marcus is constantly questioning him the entire book. And Rachel and Cassie just seem to decide to make Jake the decision maker. Beyond those small gripes though, it was fun. Watching children fight for their lives is always a delight. That was a joke. Protect the children. I’ll continue reading for now and let you know what I think of Book 2.