#just accept the love and the way people think YOU are leader potential and get the fuck out of my face. unhumble yourself

[stromer]

sorry quinner. but this is a big deal to ME

[qiu-yan]

wei wuxian vs. pragmatism: what MDZS intends to say about righteousness

copy/pasting most of my rather bitchy reply into its own individual post because i think it deserves to stand on its own.

so i think we can all agree that MXTX intends for us to read MDZS and conclude that wei wuxian is ultimately a deeply heroic and righteous person. whether you as the reader agree with this assessment of wei wuxian's moral character is another question entirely, but at the very least it is fairly obvious to all of us that MXTX intends for us to read him as a good person.

so why does MXTX call wei wuxian a good person? what aspects of his character and which of his choices make him a good person? what moral framework and what definition of morality does MXTX employ in order to call wei wuxian a good person?

i posit that MXTX argues that wei wuxian is heroic precisely because he is not pragmatic - because he adheres to his moral ideals despite the consequences, and because he did not make moral sacrifices at critical junctures of his life. the first half of this post will argue that wei wuxian is not pragmatic. the second half of this post will argue that this is exactly why wei wuxian is heroic, and that the moral framework employed by MXTX is deeply idealistic instead.

so let's begin.

let's start by establishing two things.

first: what MXTX argues about morality through the narrative of MDZS and the reader's own beliefs about morality are two different things. me saying "MDZS argues that xyz is righteousness" and me saying "i think xyz is righteousness" are two different statements. the following analysis is concerned not with what i myself consider to be righteous, but rather what MXTX argues through MDZS is righteous.

second: wei wuxian is not pragmatic.

what does it mean to be pragmatic? unless we are speaking about the school of philosophy specifically (which i am not here), being pragmatic means being grounded in reality and focused on practical outcomes. it means being result-oriented and considering the consequences of your actions before you act; it means acting only after you have considered the potential consequences of all possible courses of action and have then decided which outcomes are acceptable. being pragmatic also means recognizing when achieving everything you want is impossible. and, in such situations, being pragmatic thus entails compromising to achieve a desired outcome, even if that means you don’t get everything they want. to put it in edgier terms, being pragmatic means being able to make moral sacrifices.

an idealistic person attempts the impossible. a pragmatic person recognizes when something truly is impossible.

wei wuxian is not pragmatic.

first, wei wuxian is not someone who carefully considers the consequences of his actions before he acts. in fact, he displays a startling lack of consideration for consequences. it repeatedly falls upon other characters to either try (and fail) to hold him back.

when wei wuxian punched jin zixuan for insulting first jiang yanli and then jiang cheng, did he consider that jiang fengmian and jin guangshan might then dissolve the betrothal, and that jiang yanli might have wanted to make a decision regarding that on her own? no. he just punched jin zixuan because he was mad that jin zixuan had insulted two people he loved.

when wen chao threatened mianmian, and lan wangji and jin zixuan stood up for mianmian, and then wei wuxian stood up for them by holding wen chao hostage in turn - did he consider that there might be consequences for humiliating and threatening the life of the son of a warmongering great sect leader who has already proven capable of attacking other sects? no. did he stop and think "alright, wen ruohan has already attacked the cloud recesses, which proves that he's willing to wage war against the other sects. threatening the son of a sect leader is an easy way to earn any sect leader's ire, and since i'm the first disciple of the jiang sect, this puts not just me but the entire jiang sect on wen ruohan's shitlist"? no. it would be one thing if wei wuxian weighed this possibility and then decided that rescuing an innocent girl and the people who defended her was more important was worth the risk - that would show that he considered the consequences and then made his choice. but the thought simply never entered his mind. he acted simply because he wanted to save mianmian, jin zixuan, and lan wangji from the wens; he did not think beyond that.

when wei wuxian busted the wen remnants out of the qiongqi pass labor camp, did he have a clear plan as to how he was going to weather the political fallout? did he have a plan more detailed than "live quietly in the burial mounds until everyone forgets about us"? no. when jiang cheng challenged him as to how he was going to survive the situation, he did not in fact offer anything more concrete than "we'll just wait for everyone else to forget about us." he blustered about being a once-in-a-generation genius who could accomplish the impossible, but he provided no actual plan as to how he was going to do it. this leads me to conclude that wei wuxian did not in fact have a long-term plan for handling the consequences when he went ham at the qiongqi pass camp - that, instead of weighing the consequences and then making his decision, he instead decided immediately that this was something he had to do, consequences be damned.

and then - on top of this - all of his following actions then point in the exact opposite direction of his stated plan of waiting for everyone to forget about them. because instead of doing anything to fade into the background, everything wei wuxian did instead just convinced the jianghu he was an intolerable threat.

and this was not a sustainable strategy.

one thing i really appreciate about MXTX is that she does not make the rest of the jianghu into one-dimensional villainous morons. it's quite easy for lazy writers who want a persecution plotline to have the rest of the story's society magically start hating on the protagonist for no good reason, to make every background character in the story's world a three-braincell moron. but MXTX is not that author. it speaks to MXTX's skill as an author that, from the perspective of the rest of the jianghu, fearing wei wuxian as a mortal threat was an entirely reasonable conclusion for them to come to.

first, the gentry's most recent direct interaction with wei wuxian during this time period is him threatening to kill all of them. when jin zixun doesn't give him the information he wants, wei wuxian straight up says: "if i want to kill everyone here, who can stop me? who dares stop me?" this is a threat! and - surprise - threatening to kill people naturally makes people think that you want to kill them! 

next, wei wuxian refined wen ning's dead body into the first sentient fierce corpse in history, and also the strongest fierce corpse in living memory - and then took wen ning with him on night-hunts. that's where the reputation of "the yiling patriarch and his ghost general" comes from. this very naturally made the rest of society fear him even more, because now the guy who has just recently threatened to kill you has demonstrated even more of the power to easily do so! the unparalleled power to do so, which no one else possesses and it would be very hard for anyone else to counter! add in the fact that wei wuxian's activities were also attracting prospective disciples - people gathering outside the burial mounds because they wanted to learn demonic cultivation - and naturally the public is even more frightened, because now it looks like the guy who threatened to kill all of you is also gathering the political force to do so!

the public is incorrect about wei wuxian's intentions, of course. but what does wei wuxian do to correct these misconceptions? to rehabilitate his public image, because now his public image has the life of not just himself but also all the wen remnants under his protection riding on it? to prove to the public that he isn't an active threat to their lives - that he does not seek to murder them all in their beds - that it is safe for them to allow him to live, and that they can in fact survive if they don't kill him?

nothing.

it would be one thing if the story mentioned how wei wuxian tried to correct the malicious rumors about himself and failed. but that is not what happened. what happened is that wei wuxian sat on his corpse mountain and let everyone else say what they wanted to say. and when he left his corpse mountain, it was to bring his one-of-a-kind unparalleled sentient fierce corpse with him on night-hunts, which of course just fanned the flames of the rumors instead. he doesn't even tell the prospective pupils camped on his front door to fuck off - he just sneaks in through the back door.

this is not pragmatic behavior. though you can argue that wei wuxian's strategy here was to become so powerful and so scary that no one would dare try to fight him, anyone with a brain can tell you that this is not a sustainable solution in the long-term. first, if you want to use threats to keep someone from attacking you, you also need to promise stability - you need to give people the reassurance that if they don't start shit with you, then you'll leave them alone too. if you drive the "threat" factor too high, as wei wuxian did, you instead end up convincing people that if they do nothing you'll kill them anyways - that they have no choice but to kill you if they want to survive.

second, if you want to use threats to keep someone from attacking you, you also need to prepare for the inevitability that, if someone does end up getting hurt, everyone will blame you first and no one will want to hear your side of the story. after all, if someone gets hurt, then the first suspect everyone looks towards will be the guy who's been consistently saying "i'm strong enough to hurt you! i'm strong enough to hurt you! don't start shit with me because i'm strong enough to end you!" for the past few months. this is basic common sense. and yes, the society of MDZS is unfair - wei wuxian deserved a proper trial and investigation after the death of jin zixuan. but the fact that society is unfair is something a pragmatic person would have recognized and planned for.

wei wuxian did not recognize and plan for this reality. even after he accidentally kills jin zixuan, wei wuxian still insists that if only the jianghu investigates jin zixun's hundred holes curse, they'll see that wei wuxian didn't cast the hundred holes curse, they'll see that there was more scheming going on, etc etc. wen qing has to directly spell out for him that, at this point, society no longer cares about the truth of the matter. it seems that wei wuxian was actually oddly idealistic about the true nature of his society all the way until the very end.

all of this leads me to conclude that, when wei wuxian busted the wen remnants out of the qiongqi pass labor camp, he did so without considering the consequences of his actions. he assumed that he could improvise and weasel his way out of this situation, as he's always done in the past with his typical genius - only this time, he was wrong.

wei wuxian acts without considering the consequences of his actions. he does not make a decision only after carefully deliberating over all of the potential outcomes - not at all. instead, he acts in the moment - not out of any rational consideration of potential outcomes, but rather because it is simply something he must do. this by definition makes him a deeply unpragmatic person.

to put it into more familiar terms, for wei wuxian, the righteousness of an action comes not from its consequences, but are rather inherent to the action itself. even if he were doomed to fail, he could not give up on the wen remnants.

second, at critical junctures, wei wuxian is unable to make moral sacrifices. to be pragmatic is to know when you have to sacrifice: to know when, in order to achieve the most inalienable of your goals, you have to give up on some of your other goals. this is something wei wuxian is consistently unable to do.

of course, when it comes to his own wellbeing, wei wuxian is all too willing to sacrifice. he'll carve out any number of his internal organs to save those he loves. but this honestly speaks less to wei wuxian's moral framework and more to his lack of self-worth from a troubled upbringing.

because, when it comes to any moral cause, wei wuxian is entirely unable to sacrifice anything, even if being unable to sacrifice entails more negative consequences. wei wuxian could not sacrifice mianmian, jin zixuan, and lan wangji to wen chao and his goons, so he took action and took wen chao hostage himself. to sit back and do nothing as wen chao threatened the lives of those three was simply unthinkable for him - even if it meant taking a course of action that put yunmeng jiang in danger.

wei wuxian's relationship with jiang cheng deteriorated because jiang cheng did not know about the golden core transfer: because jiang cheng did not know that wei wuxian could no longer cultivate, from jiang cheng's point of view, it looked like wei wuxian was just refusing to help out and fulfill his promises for kicks. wei wuxian could have made things a lot easier for himself and also any wen remnants he chose to rescue had he simply told jiang cheng the truth - but he knew that finding out the truth of the golden core transfer would make jiang cheng miserable, and [jiang cheng's happiness] was not something he was willing to sacrifice.

wei wuxian's single most prominent moral decision is his refusal to allow the wen remnants to be sacrificed. anyone with a shred of political sense had to know that rescuing the wen remnants and then protecting them would be near impossible - that it entails making an enemy of the jin, and due to the jins' power, the entire jianghu. wei wuxian himself knew this; he is no moron. wei wuxian also had no long-term plan, no allies, and significantly less power than the rest of the world believed. yet, despite this all, he acted anyways, because he could not let the wen remnants be sacrificed.

the wen remnants wei wuxian rescued from the qiongqi pass labor camp included both regular civilians and cultivators. perhaps wei wuxian could have negotiated a proper release for the non-cultivating civilians, such as granny wen and a-yuan, had he chosen to give up on the cultivators. but - the question of whether this would have worked or not aside - this was not a sacrifice wei wuxian would be willing to make.

nor could wei wuxian sacrifice the safety of yunmeng jiang. i am firmly of the belief that, had yunmeng jiang formally stood by wei wuxian's side after wei wuxian attacked the jin-run labor camp, lanling jin would have eventually declared war on yunmeng jiang, and yunmeng jiang's would inevitably be destroyed. both wei wuxian and jiang cheng understood this as well - which is why wei wuxian told jiang cheng to let him go.

(you can argue - successfully - that wei wuxian did in fact sacrifice [his obligations to yunmeng jiang and his promise to jiang cheng] by leaving yunmeng jiang to protect the wen remnants. this is true. but i think that - from wei wuxian's point of view - this was not much of a sacrifice, because due to wei wuxian lacking a golden core, he already viewed himself as mostly useless to yunmeng jiang. so him leaving - in his view - is not really that much of a loss for yunmeng jiang.)

wei wuxian promised wen qing that he would return wen ning's consciousness to his corpse. when wei wuxian made this promise, he had no idea if he could actually pull it off or not. but then he did - and, in the process, created the most dangerous weapon the jianghu had seen in living memory. wen ning specifically, or moreso wei wuxian's inability to control him, leads to so much of wei wuxian's eventual downfall: wei wuxian loses control of wen ning and accidentally kills jin zixuan; when wen ning goes to turn himself in at jinlintai, he ends up going berserk again and killing another 10-20 jin and lan cultivators, which leads to the nightless city pledge conference. frankly, wei wuxian could have avoided a lot of trouble - or at the very least, a lot of the public's fear - had he not raised wen ning from the dead. it's not like he'd be completely defenseless without wen ning, either. but wei wuxian promised wen qing he would resurrect wen ning - and he could not sacrifice his promise to wen qing because of what wen qing had already done for him.

a pragmatic person is able to make sacrifices, including moral ones. at the very least, a pragmatic person recognizes when sacrifice is inevitable, when all paths lead to something being lost. a pragmatic person, put in the trolley problem, would recognize that there were only two options and that both options involve sacrifice: either he must kill one person, or he must allow five people to die. there is no path forwards in which all six people live.

wei wuxian is unable to make moral sacrifices. he clings on to all of these moral causes, all of these promises and obligations, and it is precisely because he attempts to hold onto all of them that he ends up losing everything. to reuse the previous example, wei wuxian in the trolley problem tried to save all six people because he could not accept any of the sacrifices made inevitable by the trolley problem.

to put this all together - wei wuxian is not a pragmatic person. he makes decisions with his gut, not his head - he does not consider the consequences of his actions before he acts. nor is wei wuxian able to make sacrifices - even necessary ones in order to avoid greater tragedies.

but. none of this means that wei wuxian is not a deeply heroic person. rather, to do what you believe to be righteous and attempt to live up to your ideals despite the consequences is exactly what MXTX lauds as moral. and to be unable to make a moral sacrifice when everyone else in your society easily does so is in fact deeply heroic.

it is precisely because wei wuxian is not pragmatic that MXTX declares him a hero.

some people, including myself, favor a moral framework that centers pragmatism and reason as virtues. to us, the ideal moral character is someone who makes decisions based on reason and not emotion, who considers the potential consequences of every course of action before making a decision, and who then, based on these inferred future consequences, uses reason to deduce which of all of the possible outcomes is the most preferable.

but this does not in fact describe wei wuxian, nor is this how wei wuxian views ethics. and to be honest, i don't think this is how MXTX views ethics either.

in all three of her stories, MXTX repeatedly comes down harder on the characters who make pragmatic decisions, the characters who are willing to sacrifice. in fact, killing sunshot soldiers while acting as wen ruohan's spy, and then killing nie mingjue's men in order to ensure a chance at killing wen ruohan and saving nie mingjue, was the pragmatic thing for meng yao to do, because that was the least bloody path forwards towards a sunshot victory over qishan wen. in fact, cutting ties with wei wuxian after he attacked the jin-run qiongqi pass labor camp was the pragmatic thing for jiang cheng to do, because it was the only path forward that did not put yunmeng jiang, his first and foremost responsibility, in the line of fire. and yet (though the situation is less clear with jin guangyao), MDZS as a narrative criticizes both jin guangyao and jiang cheng for these decisions - because, to MDZS, righteousness does not lie in pragmatism.

(this is a statement i personally disagree with. but we are here to discuss what MDZS wants to say about pragmatism and righteousness, not what i want to say about pragmatism and righteousness.)

by contrast, the one single act for which deeply controversial jiang cheng is ultimately lauded for in the narrative is also his single least pragmatic, most emotional act. the one single act of jiang cheng's that MDZS does not criticize is when, after the fall of lotus pier, jiang cheng ran out from his hiding spot to distract the wen soldiers from seeing wei wuxian. from a filial, duty-based point of view, this was a deeply stupid and unpragmatic course of action: jiang cheng's first and foremost duty, as the sole surviving jiang and new sect leader jiang, was to survive, rebuild his sect, and avenge his parents. from a consequentialist point of view, this impulsive choice is also what led to the domino-fall of tragedy that followed, since jiang cheng then got captured and had his golden core melted, which then led to everything else. yet this stupid, unpragmatic, and impulsive decision is ultimately the one act MDZS considers to be jiang cheng's single most heroic.

the key as to what MDZS considers to be heroic, what it considers to be righteous, lies in the jiang family motto: 明知不可而为之, attempt the impossible. this line, taken from the analects of confucius, can be considered to be a deeply deontological ideal. i find this twitter thread (warning to my followers: does kind of dunk on JC) to be rather helpful in elucidating this line's meaning. 

to attempt the impossible, to try what shouldn't be tried. "ask yourself not whether you can do it, but whether you should...consider not the result but rather the journey - have a clear conscience regardless of outcome." in other words, what matters is less whether you succeeded or failed, or what sort of outcome your actions brought about - what matters is that you tried. what matters is that, in the face of overwhelming odds, you tried to do what you think is right. and even if you end up failing - even if everyone you sought to protect ended up dying - the fact that you tried still has moral weight.

this is why it was righteous of wei wuxian to save the wen remnants - even though the ultimate consequences of that decision were overall negative, even though everyone wei wuxian tried to protect died. in fact, if wei wuxian had died immediately - if he had been shot down by jin archers at the qiongqi pass labor camp the moment he came within their range - if he had died before any wen in the labor camp realized someone wanted to save him - he would still be a righteous person. because, for MDZS, what makes an action righteous is not its consequences. for MDZS, what makes a person righteous is not what impact their actions have on the world, but rather that they have the sort of moral character that leads them to never give up on their ideals.

wei wuxian does not consider the consequences of his actions before he acts. or, should i say - wei wuxian makes decisions despite their consequences, because despite the consequences there are simply some moral causes he simply cannot give up on. wei wuxian did not save the wen remnants because it was pragmatic to do so. it was in fact deeply unpragmatic to do so. no - wei wuxian saved the wen remnants without a concrete long-term plan, without having thought through anything beforehand, with the knowledge of how weak he was in reality - because he could not give up on the wen remnants, consequences be damned.

to have some moral causes you simply cannot give up on, no matter the consequences - to MXTX, is deeply heroic. in this sense, MXTX's moral philosophy is not pragmatic at all, because to be pragmatic is to be concerned with practical consequences. instead, both wei wuxian and MXTX herself are deeply idealistic, because what matters to them are ideals and principles that extend beyond consequence.

as the linked twitter thread notes, this is why MXTX waits until the very end of the book to reveal that wen yuan, now lan sizhui, lived. this is why wangxian only meet mianmian and her family at the end of the book. this is why all of the cumulative positive impacts of wei wuxian's resurrection -  jin ling forgiving wei wuxian, jin guangyao, and wen ning, for one - are kept to the end of the story: because MDZS needs to move away from the consequentialist argument. MDZS needs to establish that wei wuxian's righteousness is separate from the impact of his actions: that wei wuxian isn't righteous merely because his actions had a positive impact for which others can thank him, but rather because the actions he undertook were inherently righteous on their own. that even if none of these positive impacts existed - if wen yuan had also died, if mianmian hadn't made it - then wei wuxian's choices would still be moral.

this is also why MDZS ultimately comes down harder on characters like jiang cheng and jin guangyao, even though a more results-oriented moral framework would instead laud such characters. both jiang cheng and jin guangyao are deeply pragmatic characters: they put concrete results before abstract moral ideals, and they're willing to compromise on their ideals in order to achieve better results. i am a JC stan and a jiggy apologist because of these exact traits. but MDZS is a narrative that criticizes such pragmatism and instead holds up wei wuxian's idealism as a moral ideal - so, in order to advance its themes, the MDZS narrative ends up criticizing both jiang cheng and jin guangyao.

ultimately, this idealism - this criticism of pragmatism - lies at the heart of MDZS's themes. wei wuxian's righteousness is directly connected to the fact that he is not pragmatic. the fact that wei wuxian makes moral decisions despite the consequences, and that he is unable to sacrifice any moral cause - is all part of what makes him at once deeply unpragmatic and deeply heroic.

---

you see, the funny thing here is that i personally disagree with this theme. as i've said before, i'm a utilitarian. to me, the morality of an action does in fact arise from its consequences; to me, someone who compromises on their ideals to achieve better results is preferable to someone who adheres to all of their ideals and then loses everything. the character i consider to have had the greatest positive impact on this story's world is jin guangyao. the character i consider to have most dutifully fulfilled his obligations is jiang cheng.

therefore, i disagree with basically everything i wrote up there about "trying": i think that if you try to do the right thing, fail epically, and in the process of your failure get a bunch of other people killed as well, the fact that you failed this badly does in fact matter quite a bit. the bulk of my more haterish posts are born from this fundamental disagreement with what MDZS posits is righteousness.

however. as a reader i must recognize that [what i consider to be moral] and [what the author of this story considers to be moral] are two different things. my own moral philosophy may be heavily results-oriented, but MXTX's is much less so. therefore, regardless of what i think of wei wuxian, i conclude that MXTX ultimately intends for us to read wei wuxian as a heroic figure for the exact reasons i gave above - and that fact must then inform every analysis of MDZS i write.

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock, would you please explain the differences in your husband rotation when they're in a "normal state/character" compared to when they exhibit yandere tendencies/ are extremely yandere? I'd love to read your thoughts🖤!

this was such an interesting question that i've been thinking about it all day HGETJNKR

speaking in general terms, even when writing 'non-yandere' versions of the husband rotation, i still make them a lil weird. just a dash of unhinged. what changes depending on if they're yan or not is how willing they are to consciously impede on the reader's wishes for their personal gain. now, getting into specifics...

my take on non-yandere and yan chrollo

there are a lot of little specifics that change depending on the variation of the character i'm writing for, but we'd be here all day if i got into that. so, i'll be focusing on the most prominent differences. regarding mr. lucilfer, i consider the most pertinent changes to be: him divulging his identity to reader and how out of his way he goes to rope reader in.

yan chrollo holds off on revealing that he's the leader of the phantom troupe, but is eventually fine with you finding out. it serves a dual-purpose. first, you're Extra cognizant of the power difference, thwarting any potential shenanigans you might get up to. second, he can unapologetically be himself. non-yandere chrollo's fine expressing his apathy toward the plight of others in small, socially acceptable increments. he's less blunt about it overall because he doesn't want you to drift away from him.

then there's his manipulation of outside variables to scooch you his way. yan chrollo accepts subjecting you to some traumatic things as a 'means to an end,' whereas his non-yandere counterpart values your mental well-being more. thanks king. regardless, they're both going to stalk you to varying extents, utilizing morally ambiguous methods without any guilt. they're also both going to make liberal use of lying by omission.

non-yandere and yan gojo

i am physically incapable of writing gojo being normal toward reader. it'd lack the pièce de résistance. that being said, non-yandere gojo is weird and yan gojo is weird with malicious intent. i'm not sure if that makes any sense, so allow me to elaborate.

they're both not the best with respecting boundaries, although in non-yandere gojo's case, that'd improve slightly with age. i always write reader as having attended high school with him because that's the dynamic i find most intriguing. in both cases, gojo in his teenage years is going to be obnoxious and unapologetic about keeping your eyes on him. non-yandere gojo deviates in his ability to mature by trusting you enough to believe you when you say you're not going anywhere. yandere gojo always has that gnawing fear that he'll end up with no one who can truly understand him if he isn't vigilant.

either way, you're not locked up in some dungeon where you'll never see the light of day, which is a boon. they're both content to let you interact with geto & shoko in your high school years, as well as their students into adulthood. selfish as yan gojo can be, his dream of the next generation usurping the status quo is paramount. he believes your influence too invaluable to deprive his students of. they both complain about how much you dote on megumi though.

non-yandere and yan scara

... ahem. the differences here are less pronounced. a driving factor behind scaramouche's character is his fear of abandonment, along with the resentment from the betrayals he previously experienced. they're both not the easiest people to be in a relationship with (or the healthiest). there's always going to be some level of codependency with non-yandere scaramouche. his yandere variation just cranks that to the highest setting.

the key difference lies within your ability to steer him away from being a weirdo. there's a skill ceiling for yan scaramouche, you can only make it so far. non-yandere scaramouche, on the other hand, has a sliver of hope. it'd require a mind-numbing amount of patience and forgiveness, but it's technically possible. everything comes down to how much you love him at his worst. should you accept him, albeit with some conditions (such as him being more honest with his feelings), he will make a legitimate effort to reform himself.

anything else nets you a bad end. he's emotionally volatile and prone to callousness. it isn't like yan scaramouche wants you to hate him — he's driven by paranoia. compounded by your understandable distaste for his new, restrictive behavior, he ends up saying things he'll later regret. tl;dr scara is eevee and will evolve into a slightly normal partner or yandere depending on your stats.

non-yandere and yan blade

somehow the most normal from this lineup?????? not that that's an achievement, since that bar's in hell, but it's still kinda funny.

unlike the other weirdos on this list, non-yandere blade could come to accept if you loved another. it isn't inconceivable or a reality he'd seek to alter. if anything, non-yandere blade would find your romantic interest in him far more perplexing. he's a jaded, immortal weapon who guiltlessly sheds blood. he knows you deserve better and that you're likable enough to find another partner. said partner would be subject to his scrutiny, but he wouldn't be vehemently opposed.

yandere blade thinks a similar way. what changes is his self-restraint — or lack, thereof. would you be happier with another? yes. can he love you the way you deserve? absolutely not. that doesn't remedy the incessant urge to possess you. you don't even have to like him back, per se, just having you around satisfies him. you quench this hunger that his non-yandere self ignores (with great difficulty).

here's to hoping this makes any sense 😭...

[lovewitchtarot]

general tarot reading

this is a very random reading there's no rhyme or reason to it its just what came up for me when I pulled cards for all the piles some of it is love and relationships and some of it is work and school

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading; take what resonates, leave what doesn't. Never use tarot readings for medical or legal advice, and for the sake of legality, don't act on anything that could potentially hurt you or others because of a tarot reading. Don't take this reading or any others too seriously. Remember, this is for the collective, not just one person.

Pile one

Don't be afraid to embrace who you are; do what makes you happy without fear of what other people may think or say. Engage in hobbies and things that really make you happy. Now would be a good time to explore your shadow self as well, do shadow work, and dig deep into who you are as a person. Self-acceptance is really important for you. Now would be a good time to channel your creativity into a new hobby or project. Try new things with the thought of progress and self-exploration instead of fear of failure. Try to be more fact-based, although it can be hard to get out of your head. Remember to think logically and take other people's thoughts and feelings into perspective before you act or make a decision. Don't think so quickly; take time to understand before you do things. Be kind to yourself; don't let life knock you down. Even when times get tough, remember to be kind to your heart and your soul. Nourish yourself with self-care and self-love. If you are having a hard time in love, remember the saying “don't chase butterflies; instead, build a beautiful garden and wait for the butterflies to come to you. If the butterflies don't come, then you still have a beautiful garden.” Self-love and self-improvement are so important. Even if you aren't going through anything tough, remember to love yourself and treat yourself with kindness. It is time to take a journey that could be school- or work-based, but you are ready for a big change—a positive one. Be prepared to receive a spiritual gift. This gift is going to be vast and incredible. You are going to gain great success and wisdom, or you may already have it, but with this success and wisdom, you are going to become a great leader. You are about to come into a very memorable and incredible time in your life. I'm seeing a new school, maybe college, or a new job. This is the time of your life to make memories and just “go for it." . I'm hearing “you only live once” to describe this energy. You also need to accept the past; you need to learn to trust again; and you need to let go of this stagnant energy. Also, remember that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn, so don't hold onto your past mistakes. Don't forget to balance your professional life and your personal life; keep them separate and balanced. Don't forget to use your intuition. Don't be afraid to live your truth as yourself and wear it with pride. I see a counterpart coming into your life; this could be a friend or a spouse. This person could already be in your life, but this is a divine counterpart. You two are harmonious together, and you have or will have a beautiful relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic. 

Pile two

You are a very talented person. You may not have found your talent, but once you do, you can expect to be able to make a career from it. The career you end up pursuing will be very fun for you, and you'll love work. If you are currently working and you don't feel this way, then don't expect this to be your permanent job. There is about to be a choice or decision that sets a lot of change into motion. This is a positive change that you will greatly benefit from. Again,  this could be a new job throughout this change. Be flexible and go with what life brings, as it's inevitable to fight. Don't be afraid to direct it, though you still have control in many aspects. I see you standing up, maybe for your beliefs or rights. I see you fighting for what's right. I see you stepping into your spirituality; you are a naturally spiritual persona, and I see you learning to channel it into your practices. You may just be starting out on your spiritual journey, or you may have been on it for a while, and you're just now getting ready to level up. Remember to balance spirituality with your everyday life. Stay grounded and don't live in your third-eye energy so much. Remember to stay spiritually protected and cleansed; physically cleansing your space is a great way to invite positive energy in and expel negative energy from your life. If you're going through a slump, try to clean your space both physically and spiritually. Also, indulge in self-care, replenish your soul, and see how things positively change around you. It's time to step into your healing energy and take time to heal from the inside out. Eat more warm foods, as comfort is really being prioritized right now, but don't only feed your body; also feed your soul. Someone is currently thinking of you as a friend, but I see more of a love interest, and I see that this particular relationship is about to level up significantly. Don't neglect your friendships with your partner. Remember that all of your relationships, romantic and platonic, are equally important, so make time for friends and family as well. Be on the lookout for manifestations, as they are about to appear in front of you. This could be a manifestation that has been long in progress, so be prepared for that. There are going to be temptations in your path, but stay focused and patient, as the right outcome for you will soon appear and you will be triumphant. You are really stepping into your spirituality, and it is going to do great things for you. I'm seeing a romantic partner coming, though. Try to pamper yourself, even if you find it hard; it is extremely important. 

pile three

You are going to be traveling soon and setting out on new adventures. You are going to have a completely fresh start as well. This could mean that you are moving or just going on a trip. I see you studying abroad as well. Cycles are going to come to an end. This could also mean graduating either from school or a work position (moving up in the company or to an entirely new job). You will be making a new romantic connection or strengthening an old one. This person is very romantic and sensual. This relationship is going to be or is absolutely wonderful and fulfilling. However, don't overly push things; they will happen when the time comes, and make sure each person is putting in equal amounts of effort and contributing their share. Overcome any fears you may have, as they are holding you back from your full potential. Trust your intuition when it comes to finding out the truth about situations and other people. Don't be afraid to dig deep into things to learn the full truth about them. Keep up your spirits if things go wrong. Don't turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms; ground yourself and try yoga or meditation. You are soon to be recognized for your hard work; this could also include receiving a reward. Remain faithful and loyal to your friends and other relationships, as it is very important. If you need support and encouragement, don't be afraid to seek it out, but also don't be scared to give it in return, as it is the best gift to give someone. Make sure to stay protected both spiritually and physically, but mainly physically. If you end up traveling, be sure to be safe on your adventures. Now would be a good time to dive into your creative side and try different types of art, as I can see you really benefiting from it. Mass abundance is coming your way. This could be physical things or it could be more sentimental things, such as friends or memories. Don't be scared to speak up for what's right. I can see you stepping into a motherly energy that can apply to anyone, whether you want kids or not. You can be motherly to your plants or animals, even just your friends and family.

[torchwood-99]

"her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on"

I love you Gandalf. He just gets it.

The sexism that blighted Eowyn's life, that came from the hands not from enemies but loved ones, reduced her and cut her down to fit her into a box, until Eowyn didn't even feel like a person anymore. And Eomer, when it's spelled out to him, goes back and looks at their life together differently, and realises the wrong that's been done to her.

She was a tool, something to be leant on and used, to provide support for the men's desires and the men's ambitions and the men's glory, with no will of her own.

Her family loved her, but they saw her as what they would have her be, viewing her through the lens of what they believe women to be instead of seeing Eowyn (and women as a whole) for herself, instead of recognising her as her own being with own merit and skills.

It's that thing of sexism not only making women less equal, but less human.

They are a tool, a service. They are a monolith, a group assigned to perform certain roles, valued for performing those roles (to an extent) but not actually individuals, with individuals thoughts and hopes and skills and dreams. Not to the same extent as men.

And because these are the roles they're meant to serve, there's no injustice, no tragedy of lost potential and missed opportunities, because as women they don't have that potential and they don't need those opportunities.

It's no wonder Eowyn wanted to die in battle. Going to battle, riding out against the orders of all those who caged her in, that was her regaining control of her life, a life that seemed to be no life, because she was no real living person. Just a staff to be leant on. And in going to battle, when she has been told not to, in making a choice for herself, she reclaims her humanity. But she's been so broken down that she thinks the only way to avoid going back to being an object is to die in battle.

Faramir doesn't treat her like an object. He treats her like a person, one similar to him. He sees her worth and merit and he admires her strength and her deeds while also feeling compassion for her suffering. After Faramir meets her, he seeks out Merry, to try and find out about her, instead of making presumptions about her based on her sex.

Faramir bothers, he takes the effort to find out who Eowyn is, instead of deciding for her.

And Merry, who rode to war with her and also sees her who she is, helps. No wonder he and Eowyn, though parted by distance, remain great friends and Eowyn adores him.

But Eowyn doesn't just get a happy ending from having a man in her life who treats her decently.

Tolkien makes a point to have Eowyn not just declare herself as choosing to live to be Faramir's wife, it's not a case of unhappy feminist who wants to be like a boy but is finally happy when she "accepts femininity" and finds a good man to protect her.

She says she will be a healer. Faramir has spoken nothing of that. It's not a role he has chosen for her or he's taking on and she's going to do to help him. They will be married and support each other and share a life, but she will also be her own seperate person.

It's a role that she's chosen for herself, without orders or pressure from anybody else. A role that will put her strength and her wits and her stomach iron to good use, and means she won't have to wait until battle to feel alive. A role that is seen as a mark of leadership, for the greatest leaders in Middle Earth, men and women, are also healers.

This such an important arc, and it really is incredible of Tolkien to write it.

A woman who has had her own goals and skills overlooked in favour of how she can serve men, who has been kept locked in the home to tend to her family's needs with no relief or chance to go out and live life on her terms.

Who is beloved by her family, who are good people, yet still mistreated because sexism is just part and parcel of her world and even well meaning people take part in it.

A woman whose humanity has been diminished at the hands of her loved ones because of sexism and gender roles.

A woman who proves the naysayers wrong by riding out to battle, bringing along Merry who has also been left behind, and proving herself pivotal to the victory.

A woman who only finds hope for the future when she is ceased to be treated as a useful object, when she forges bonds with Merry and Faramir who don't see her as a staff for the men to walk on, nor a faulty one who keeps trying to run off on its own and needs to be brought back, but as an individual with her own hopes and failings and dreams and skills, not defined by what the patriarchy says a woman's role is.

A when she does find hope for life again, she does so not only in finding love and friendship and camaraderie, but in a vocation that will be her own, in a career that will give her own her role in the world, a role that is associated with leadership, and leadership in her own right, not as an adjunct of her husband's.

And this is how she gets her happy ending. From love (Faramir), friendship (Merry), understanding (Eomer, looking at Eowyn anew in the House of Healing) and through independence (becoming a Healer). This is how she gets a happy ending, because this is how she reclaims her personhood.

[dykeulous]

LISTEN TO DYSPHORIC VOICES

can non-dysphoric people stop speaking over dysphoric people? this goes both to non-dysphoric radfems, non-dysphoric tras, and non-dysphoric trans-identifying people.

why do some non-dysphoric radfems think they have the right to claim dysphoria isn’t real/stems strictly from socialization/societal pressure/is never innate etc.? i think i know myself better than that. i have always had sex dysphoria. we don’t know why & how dysphoria develops. i have later developed social dysphoria as well, which was due to socialization, societal pressure & gender being forced upon me– however, sex/physical dysphoria isn’t the same as social dysphoria; and it’s anti-intelluctual to claim dysphoria is the same as any other form of body dysmorphia. they keep telling us to just shut up & love ourselves, but they don’t realize that it’s not as easy as they make it seem. i also think it’s very debilitating when non-dysphoric radfems constantly tell me transition isn’t the only solution. i know it isn’t, and i encourage bringing awareness to other ways of easing dysphoria, i encourage bringing awareness to the potential risks of transition, and i encourage therapy before hrt/surgery. but if someone genuinely believes transition is the best solution for them, nobody should harass them for it. after all, radfems are supposed to be advocating for bodily autonomy, no?

why do so many non-dysphoric tras think they have the right to redefine our existence? the first step to accepting being trans & bringing about our liberation is to recognize who are: we are dysphoric. dysphoria is a neurological problem. we cannot progress in any way, shape, or form, without firstly disclosing that. dysphoric people constantly get erased. the first step of erasure is redefining set definitions, ignoring research & revising history. old school trans people would be devastated if they had the opportunity to see where we are right now. dysphoric people have been pushed to be leaders & icons of queer capitalism, without our consent. we are being used as weapons against homosexuality. we are being exploited by capitalism, the market & the media, our bodies are being commodified, and trans-identifying non-dysphoric people are appropriating our movement.

trans people of the 80s would be so disappointed if they saw how easily we lost the forefront of our own activist movement. any trans-identifying person who claims that this trans joy would follow up simply if dominant social structures were destroyed, is probably a non-dysphoric person using the trans identity as an aesthetic. they aestheticize our suffering & then speak over us. so many people are using & appropriating our labels as a “fuck you” movement, as a way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy ( @tirfpikachu expands on it), which would be fine if they didn’t consistently shun actual dysphoric people down & actively choose to support our erasure. i don’t really believe that identifying as trans is an effective way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy, as it can lead to the formation of actual dysphoria, and those people tend to be misogynistic & bio essentialist anyway– but that is a matter of perspectives, and as an actual dysphoric person, i just feel genuine jealously & anger at the people who took the forefront of our movement while not having to face half the challenges we do.

they tell us that we can just be happy & that we would be if social norms no longer existed– but they are saying that only because it applies to them; after all, they are just gender non-conforming people, who would probably contribute more positively to the fight against the cisheteropatriarchy if they just stayed gender non-conforming people, instead of using trans identity for it & then speaking over actual dysphoric people. i’m not going to be all pessimistic now, or say that dysphoric people cannot ever find happiness (by transitioning or simply finding other ways to deal with dysphoria, or healing– which is, by the way, possible– if any of you cared to listen to detrans voices, which i know you don’t– not all detrans people are “cis people who just made a mistake”), and i do understand trying to cheer dysphoric people up, telling us that there’s nothing damaged about us & that we can have fulfilling & happy lives– but selling this fallacy of dysphoric people suffering only because of the discrimination we face is harmful.

if we no longer faced systemic discrimination, we would be able to express ourselves more freely, that is true, yes (which is why i love gender acceleration); but we would still face multiple challenges. see it like this: if mental illnesses such as bpd, schizophrenia, npd, aspd or c-ptsd were destigmatized, and if they no longer faced medical discrimination/if doctors no longer used saneist & ableist terms to refer to the disorders & the people who have them– the people with said disorders would face significantly less challenges, but that does not mean that their inner battle would end. as an autistic transmasc, i was always able to see the connection between my dysphoria & neurodiversity: but those unwilling to listen to me will just shout “don’t group us in with those neurodivergents!”– like. damn. just call me the r slur at this point? if non-dysphoric tras actually cared to listen to us, they would see how this analogy is useful, but given that they’ll just call me a transphobic trans person– they will simply say that i’m claiming dysphoric people are inherently doomed. we aren’t, but we will be, if non-dysphoric trans-identifying people keep taking the lead of our movement. stop erasing us. listen to our voices. stop weaponizing our pain. stop turning our movement into a pseudo-religious spiritual thing.

it all goes back to the same thing: non-dysphoric people will never understand dysphoric people. both non-dysphoric tras & non-dysphoric radfems (and no, not all of them, this is aimed at those who are) tend to be largely made of gender non-conforming people who, for some reason, believe that they have the right to speak over us & reassure us that dysphoria isn’t as debilitating as we make it out to be, simply on the basis of them being gender non-conforming. they are, in essence, arguing for the same argument, despite constantly steering fights against one another. stop speaking over us. listen to dysphoric people, listen to those who have & those who haven’t transitioned, listen to those who are no longer dysphoric & listen to detrans people.

[backgroundagent3]

for the character ask, daisy johnson!

Thank you so much for the ask! 💜 I love any excuse to talk about Daisy Johnson.

First impression: I'm trying to squeeze my brain here, but all I remember was trying not to like her at first because I knew se was a double agent for the Rising Tide. It goes without saying I failed miserably about three episodes in.

Impression now: She is my favourite character of all time.

Favorite moment: I really can't choose, but one that comes to mind was the final fight of season 5. I think it's a very underrated fight scene, because it's the end of the world, her dad is dying, she has been recently betrayed and tortured by her friend, and she still goes into battle BY HERSELF against Talbot, and if that wasn't bad enough, when she's about to die a horrible death she realises that the only way she can save the world is if she takes the serum and basically condemns the person she loves most to his death. It's so heartbreaking and poetic, but very cool to watch, and I just love so much it, idk.

Idea for a story: This is angsty but I would love to read something where the events of 5.14 are properly dealt with. May watches the security cameras and goes ballistic on Fitz, and Daisy gets time to grieve and heal. They get Coulson back and he's horrified, and Jemma is so conflicted but she's there for her best friend.

Unpopular opinion: Since apparently I can't stop thinking about season 5, here's some more. I think she actually did a good job of leading the team in season 5b. Especially if you consider that she's been recently tortured, her family doesn't seem to care, she has no experience, and hasn't gotten a good nights sleep in about 5 years. She might be tough, but hello? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD?? You have to be at least a little bossy if you wanna make it through that. Also if you're gonna be a baby and call her a hard ass maybe you should have thought twice before joining SHIELD.

Favorite relationship: If it's romantic, then Sousa. I love them so so much, they're literally perfect and despite my obvious outrage at season 5, I will forever love the AoS writers for somehow pulling that off. As for platonic relationships, I'd say May. She's the perfect mother figure for her, and I love the parallels between them. I think Daisy has the best relationships in general, but this one is my favourite. Honourable mentions go to Coulson for being the most unhinged dad ever, and to Jemma for being the sweetest friend in the earlier seasons.

Favorite headcanon: before she goes off to space at the end of season 7, she rebuilds Afterlife with the help of Sousa and Kora. I've said this before, but I think they are actually the perfect team to do this. Kora has lived in Afterlife her whole life, she's seen Jiaying help people go through Terrigenesis, and she's been though it herself in a much healthier and safer environment than Daisy. Sousa is reasonable and calm, which are good qualities to have when you're helping someone who's terrified and potentially dangerous. He has experience leading people, which I think would make him a good mentor for the Inhumans. So Kora has the experience, Sousa has the qualities, and in my opinion, Daisy has a nice combination of the two. She has a different and much more horrifying experience of Terrigenesis that people who accidentally go though it can relate to, and she has spent years exploring and controlling her powers, so she knows what the deal is. And she's also a good leader, so where Sousa can help the Inhumans pre-Terrigenesis, she can train them after if that's what they want. Because that's another thing, SHIELD may be funding Afterlife, but they've learnt their lesson and they're not sticking their noses where they shouldn't. They accept new recruits and help train them, but if that's not what the Inhumans want, then SHIELD helps them get settled back into their normal lives. Anyways this got long but it's one of my favourite headcanons, so there you go.

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for rambling, but I have a lot to say about Daisy. 🌼💛

Character Asks.

[one-strugling-bean]

Thinking abt Hater n Peeps...

thinking about how they probably started out as friends with similar interests. Two losers with a damaged heart and a need to feel respected (and loved) meet and decide to conquer the world that wronged them before together

Thinking how at first they probably saw each other as more of a means to an end: ill make him do all the boring paperwork stuff while I actually conquer everything vs ill let him believe he's the number one and show his face while I pull the strings from behind type of shit. but eventually grew to appreciate each other's company, found interests in common, and went through shit that forced them to grow closer

(especially since they were probably each other's first friend. imagine the giddiness over finding someone you just click with after a whole life of being lonely)

thinking bout how much hater must have soaked in peepers praise from the start. Peepers being the 1st person to have ever called him cool. to support his dreams. even if hater hides it under a "sure you can tag along, if you do everything I say" kind of facade, he actually becomes super addicted to (and dependent on) peeps right from the get-go

Thinking bout how peepers must have been the opposite. He sees the potential hater has from the start, but for all the praise and admiration to become more than a way of manipulation it takes a bit. Still, it's only a small matter of time before peeps drowns in all the charisma and power being with hater brings. besides, he's found in Hater companionship the likes of he'd never felt before with anyone.

When he decides to make Hater the nº1 villain in all the galaxy, he knows he's sealing his fate - but he doesn't regret it one bit.

They essentially become best friends (also each other's 1st and only friend), though they never properly talk about it because ew feelings, and "they're supposed to be villains, and villains aren't friends". but they still see each other as friends and act accordingly

but then their pipe dream actually starts looking like it could work, and what before sounded like a make-believe game the two played with each other while they travelled the galaxy together, starts looking like a reality

They are ecstatic. they buy a customized ship. peepers convinces his people to fight for their cause and suddenly they have an army as well! hater steadily learns how to behave like a terrifying overlord instead of an edgy teen, and suddenly their fame is spreading everywhere!

they're unstoppable! hater is on his way to becoming the biggest threat to the galaxy and peepers is the 2nd in command that made it all happen! everything is perfect!

then, hater hurts peepers with his powers for the first time and things are... different.

They're both shocked that 1st time. hater has hurt many people by that point, but he never lost control on someone close to him. even if he was upset... peepers is also shocked because by that point he trusted hater with his life. he saw himself as a valuable part of their team, - their partnership! it felt like a betrayal. to both of them, actually

and slowly, these excuses become the reality. hater hurting peepers physically and verbally becomes the norm, and perhaps in an unconscious bout of retaliation, peepers becomes hater's biggest critic, just as he is his biggest fan. He's the first to point out hater's mistakes (under whats acceptable of him) knowing exactly where to press on his insecurities to make it hurt more

but they don't talk about it, just like they never talked about whether they were friends before, so separately, they start making excuses. Hater is the leader - the greatest Villain in the Galaxy - of course he shouldn't spare anyone! and Peepers is working for him right? If he makes a mistake, of course he should be punished! they were always using each other for their own goals

...there can't exist a betrayal of something that never existed, right?

they stop hanging out informally as much because "they're not friends it's just a mutual partnership". they still do hang out sometimes, because they're still lonely and have no other friends but its less... carefree

time passes and the empire grows. the more it does, the more they fall into their make-believe roles - the evil villain and his assistant. hater becomes crueler, peepers becomes more obsessed with his work (and crueler) and slowly they lose that spark that started them out in the 1st place

Then wander and sylvia come around and the make-belief starts to crack.

things start getting out of control. Hater's cruelty doesn't kill the enemies. peepers work isn't efficient enough. the two are once more thrown into unlikely situations together that force them to be closer, and the occasional chaos breaks the carefully crafted characters they'd built over themselves for so long.

they start being seen as jokes again. the empire is losing its edge and so are they. all the while, they start losing that shadow of subordination that had been controlling their relationship for so long

but wounds and misunderstandings have been piling up for years, and there's only so much "casually hanging out with my friend-turned-toxic workplace relationship-turned-sorta friend again" they can do before something gives

and by the end of season 2, hater's fate seems inevitable - he'll let go of villainy sooner or later. but what about peepers? the other half of the same pipe dream, the other half of the same messy relationship.

Was he gonna be able to let go of it too? What was going to weigh heavier in the end? The fractured friendship? or the pipe dream?

were they meant to be able to solve their issues and regain that initial connection that drove them to conquer the stars together in the first place? Or just... break apart, for good.

...god i rly want a season 3

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June MC of the Month: Eva Archer

Please welcome June 2024's MC of the Month: @dutifullynuttywitch's Eva Archer

Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

Learn more about Eva below

1- In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.

She’s an idealist, preoccupied by social justice. While at the Tower, she constantly fought the authoritarian leaders, which resulted in her and her sister needing to flee so she wouldn't ‘get disappeared’. Now that she’s leading her own colony, she is still trying to find the right balance, ensuring everyone’s voice is heard and feels welcomed.

2- Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I think we both lean towards social justice and fairness in our decision-making. And I definitely gave her some of my musical tastes! (Though I have more grunge and alternative in my repertoire.)

But other than that, Eva is much cooler than I could ever hope to be!! 🙂 She’s a fighter, brave, willing to put her life on the line for others.

3- What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life?

Eva is not the bravest, but she is fiercely loyal to her friends. Being forced to leave her fatally injured sister Brynn, her only family, behind after narrowly escaping The Tower was the hardest thing she’d ever done. It left her deeply scarred. She refuses to lose anyone else she's close to and will put her own life on the line if she can save her friends or members of her colony.

Her friendship and frequent quests with Eli and Angel help her gradually feel more confident in her fighting skills. As a leader of the newly established Olympus Colony, she speaks up against injustices and tries to be conciliatory. What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

She despises cruel, self-centered people. Unfortunately there are too many in her post-apocalyptic world, who will do anything, kill anyone just to survive a day longer.

While she generally loves Troy’s easy-going attitude, she absolutely loses her temper when he shirks on his chores - which he unfortunately does regularly.

4- If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

She would find a cure for the parasite that converts people into zombies. She’s in no way a scientist, but she wholeheartedly supports her best friend Shannon Fox in her ongoing investigations.

5- What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song?

Wild Horses, The Rolling Stones.

It’s a bittersweet reaction, really, having lost both of her fathers in a horrible way (one became a zombie and killed his husband), and more recently her sister. She holds on dearly to the lyrics that “wild horses couldn’t keep me away”. It’s how she feels about Troy, and her friends Eli, Shannon, Angel, little May…

Her favorite quote is more inspirational: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.” – Emily Dickinson

6- Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?

I adored the Choices book Wake the Dead. Such an interesting, dark concept, where your choices matter, with tons of potential for world-building… I wanted to create a character that had lived through terrible things, resulting in deep-seated trauma, but at the same time could see the light in the world and continue to strive to better her life and that of those around her. This is how Eva was born!

7- Other facts about Eva

Eva was born close to Reno, Nevada before the zombie apocalypse.

She previously worked in pest control from the age of 18, then became a scout at 25 at her former colony, The Tower.

Eva is dating Troy Hassan, her childhood best friend from her Tower days. This was a slow burn, friendship to love. Troy’s an absolute charmer, knows her better than anyone and is her emotional support. He’s much more carefree, which brings out her lighter side – necessary with all the stress and pressures of running a colony during an apocalypse!

She dearly misses her sister Brynn, who died shortly after escaping the tower. Eva admired her fierceness and how she bravely ventured out as a scout every day to support the colony. Eva hopes to become as tough as her sister.

Thank you so much for reading through my MC profile, I had a blast sharing Eva Archer with you!! And thank you @choicesficwriterscreation for giving us the space to gush about our fictional babies!!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

I found this on the Descendants subreddit:

What do you think?I dunno I feel about this.

For starting orders, are these from the Descendants guide book??? Because if so, I didn't know that was potentially out yet...unless these are preview pages??? If so, kinda weird Red or Chloe didn't get their pages previewed...unless they contain spoilers and can't be shown unlike Mal's and Uma's and the page on transformations... Not gonna lie though, these preview pages are kinda making me wanna buy it...soley to see how the fuck Descendants explains ANYTHING in its universe at this fucking point.

But to answer the question: let's get transformations page out of the way first, because uh, I find it the most meh lol- its just basic knowledge about transformations and Maleficent, Mal and Uma being the only characters so far to have that ability...though confusing how its surprising to Auradon, since they a fairy tale kingdom, transformations shouldn't be a surprise really... Though they really gave a list of shit Mal did with her dragon but then said 'oh and Uma can transform too I guess' like they really did not care to go into Uma much there, though curious why they saying its only via necklace she can do that as I assumed it was Ursula's magic/DNA in general that allowed Uma to go octopus form... Plus lemme just add: 'battled Uma' last I checked all Mal did was fly around and blow FIRE at WATER and that's it, Ben handled that shit more then Mal did really.

Now onto Mal's....first: United States of Auradon...okay nice to know I guess Beyond The Isle Of The Lost definitely ain't gonna be connected to the film at this rate because there they called it United Kingdom of Auradon, but now we back to the film title here, aka United States of Auradon. But heyyyy! We can celebrate that they actually resisted the urge to blame Ben for Mal's problems for once! ...It's sad I consider that an absolute win, really, but its Descendants so... "Confident and natural leader"...wait is that meant to be serious or...because I kinda laughed there given how much of a 'confident' and 'natural leader' she was in D2 and D3... "Particularly because she felt guilty about the VK's she'd left behind" Yeah, she felt so guilty in fact that she literally showed zero fucking concern in D2 about the VKs when treating the Isle like a get away place, let alone showed zero concern when Evie did on the Isle about the VK's and in D3 basically went, "Fuck those kids, my happily ever after is more important-", when choosing WITHOUT HESTIATION to close the barrier and punish the VKs for crimes they didn't do and still intended to do this even during the lies revealed scene...so clearly guilty about leaving the VKs behind, guys. "Eventually, she helped convince the Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep." And by that, I mean likely everyone else did the work but Mal's being given credit because main character and Descendants wants you to believe she actually gave a crap about the VKs after that council meeting scene lmao. "Mal is talented in a lot of areas, both in artistic endeavors and in spells and magic"...wait we NOW remember shes into art???? Because D2-3 did not fucking remember that detail well before making her into generic main character for personality and shit- but also where's being a bully and getting away with it and other crimes like love spelling someone and lying in those talents? She's very oddly good at those, even after she's meant to be good. "mess with other students" Well, that's a brutally honest description of what Mal was like with magic in Auradon Prep lmao. "the queen she was always meant to be" I...Do I need to point out saying Mal was always meant to have a form of power over people isn't great, given what she's like, or...? Like, taking someone who had a form of power on the Isle and used it to be a bully and shit and giving them power over a kingdom when they haven't even changed much isn't great, but Descendants seems to think Mal's the greatest so no wonder they acting like it was simply destiny she was always meant to be queen... Also I guess Mal still has the ember and didn't donate it to the museum so uh, there's that...also why does Hades' image look the most awkward lmao???? Did they not have a stock character image of Hades like Maleficent and Ben or...

I...really don't have much to say about Uma's page lmao- not because its meh or bad, its just not giving me much to complain about as it didn't at least villainize her like Descendants normally loves too...though interesting choice to say Uma only wanted to go to Auradon because she was envious of Mal and not because she wanted to free the villain kids...but I guess we can't let someone else care about the villain kids when we pretending like Mal gave a shit about them suddenly! But uh, guess this is confirmation that Fairy Godmother fully retired??? She and Ben's parents really do just like to ditch their jobs at the nearest chance and hand it off to the nearest young person- though I still really don't get why Uma would want to be a head mistress of a school, like I know she'd want to help villain kids and such, but like, she can do that outside of being head mistress technically, it just feels random for her character. Also niece of Uliana...are they actually gonna address this fully in the film or...we know Uma captured by Queen of Hearts so like....sigh, Uma suffering more in plot bullshit, first it was Mal's plot bullshit, now its Queen of Hearts bullshit, she cannot catch a fucking break. And one last question: when did the Isle of the Lost become a KINGDOM??? It was called a prison last I checked, why does it count as a home kingdom now??? If I was a villain kid and asked my home kingdom, I wouldn't say the Isle of the Lost, because that's a prison I was stuck on for existing basically.

[obey-my-twisted-logic]

Truth Spilled : Prefect is not the perfect extrovert they're assumed to be - not at all. Idia Shroud x GN!Reader (may be slightly fem leaning, apologies in advance if I missed anything like that)

Synopsis : post book 6, after Idia shows his skills, Prefect decides to take him aside when he seems overwhelmed by the people, leaving Ortho to entertain those who remain. As they reassure and comfort him, the cracks show and the shell reveals a close guarded secret.

Warnings : crying, mental health confessions, ptsd and beyond. Occasional cursing on both ends. Basic proof reading, potentially missed grammatical or spelling errors is higher than you think. Angst is real, but there's some playful fluff in the end. Only platonic in this blurb.

Authors Note : very self indulgent. How I personally have been feeling as the game progresses as someone with severe PTSD and anxiety. Had I been in a dorm, definitely would have been Ignihyde 100%.

---

After the impressive amount of prowess and just cocky amount of game play by the usually introverted dorm leader, you decided to rescue him when the nervous sweating kicked in. The initial adrenaline had worn off, and you knew the only reason he hadn't bolted was because Ortho had never looked happier, getting to interact and be normal with a group of friends, and making sure his big brother got to join in the fun.

Big brother was all "fun"d out, and as a good host, and just sympathetic anxiety riddled bean, you take him upstairs with the excuse of needing assistance with some older technology you had been relying on.

After gently steering him up the stairs and to the furthest guest room, you hold on lightly to the sleeve of his jacket to guide him. Nothing too invasive, but still a comfort, despite his initial flinch, he seemed to accept the action and looked almost grateful for the escape.

"Here we are. Furthest back and best insulation, trust me." You say leading him in and closing the door quietly. "Sorry for the white lie, but you looked like you needed the break, so I thought-" immediately your cut short by a nasty look and a huff as he dropped onto the bed and fell back.

"What would you even know about how I feel? What was I not cheerful enough for your liking? Perfect Prefect, of course you'd notice. Why'd you bring attention to it?" Idia snapped giving you a dirty look. Now Ortho would be upset and think he hadn't had any fun.

Sigh escaping your lips you take a seat on the floor and lean against the closed door. Eyes closed you steady your breathing the best that you can. Despite your best, tears streak gently and slowly from each eye. You can hear him shift panicked on the bed, assuming he was sitting upright and staring. You decide to keep your eyes closed, more amused by the expression in your mind and not wanting to embarrass yourself further.

"Idia, I know you're smart, I know you think you know all that there is to know about everything." Slowly you open your eyes, ignoring the tears, allowing yourself this moment. He wanted to know why you did it, why you interfered, well he'd certainly find out today. "You're not near as smart when it comes to any information you think you know about me."

"I grew up in constant survival mode. As soon as I begin to heal from the nightmare my life has been, I'm ripped into a world that I've never known. Most memories have been ripped from me of my old world, and I was dumped here with only my survival instincts keeping me from truly breaking down." You wipe some tears away, just to clear your vision to catch his gaze. He looked guilty and chewed at his lower lip.

"I've been nearly killed by half the damn people I call my "friends" and honestly, I do love them all, but the only reason it's even been possible is my desperation for survival." You laugh coldly and stand, the rant and your breathing becoming more erratic as it all comes tumbling out.

"Perfect Prefect? I don't have any other way to protect myself. Idia I didn't even have a phone until the THIRD overblot. THREE of the most powerful students on this campus had to try killing me for the fool of a headmaster to give me this... technological piece of shit." You toss your phone next to him on the bed. "I may not know much about this world, but I know about technology. It's different but very similar to what I used to work with in my old world..." Catching the surprised look on his pale face you can't help but laugh. "Yes yes, pitiful, magicless human knows how technology works. There's a reason that my grades keep Grimm an honor student, I'm far from stupid."

The crying resumes and laughter is mixed in as you give him a pathetic look. "Even he's attacked me, and Grimm's the closest I even have to a family in this hellscape. Idia I'm so tired." You choked up a sob and sank to your knees, back pressed against the wall now.

Unable to, refusing to look weak, you dry the tears beat you can as you answer his initial question. "What do I know about how you feel or why I interfered?" You let out a low and sad chuckle and look up to him. "Because I so desperately have needed to be saved, to be rescued and taken somewhere quiet so I could breathe that I couldn't just leave you like that. I couldn't just ignore the panic you were in." You let out a sigh and hug you knees unable to stable your breathing as much as you'd like.

"Feel free to leave or stay, do what's best for you. I'm just going to be here." You say after one minute stretches out into several. "I'd appreciate if-" Once again the Idia interrupts you, but in a much more surprising and soft way.

He embraces your trembling form, kneeling to be on the floor with you and just embraces you. He mumbled a genuine and quiet apology, stroking the back of your head. His hair provided a soft and safe warmth and glow.

You look up nearly sobbing again, and question him "Idia, will you be the friend I can be myself with? Will you give me the space to be pathetic and cry my anxiety away?" The sobs came out choked and desperate, pleading for him to be your safe space.

"Of course." He replied gently, never breaking the embrace. He gave the bed a dirty look. "First things first, we're getting you a new phone. Immediately." He grumbled unlocking his own to put in a rushed order. "There's no way you're going to be able to play games with me on that thing." He growled clicking his tongue, distaste for the headmaster evident on his face.

You burst into laughter and hugged him back, burying your face against his neck. You ignored his embarrassed noises, he didn't pull away or push you away, so he must be fine with it. "Sounds good to me." You mumble out, feeling a genuine sense of comfort from someone who finally could understand at least some of what you've been feeling for the entirety of your life.

[olympeline]

Would you want to say more about omega Arthur and how he presents as an omega? I like both alpha and omega Arthur but as an omega I think of him as the more rebellious type who doesn’t want to be forced into that typical omega role. 🤔

Oh and maybe tell us about his potential alphas and their relationship if you want to? 👀

Would I like to talk more about omegaverse Arthur? The answer to that question is always and forever: yes, yes I would love to 👀

To me, Arthur is one of the most fun characters to headcanon as an omega. It works in any setting but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll stick with the canon Hetalia verse.

National personifications are born from their people and reflect the societal attitudes of the time. Make it omegaverse and why would second sex be any different. Every country would want their nation-person to be an alpha because they’re seen as being the best. The strongest, the most powerful, the natural leaders, etc. Being part of a nation with an alpha personification is something to be proud of. In contrast, a nation-person presenting as omega would be shameful. An ill wind, a bad omen, a portent of hard times ahead, all that good bad stuff. Betas would be in the middle: not as good as alphas, not as bad as omegas. There would probably be a shared attitude that alpha nation-people mean empires, omega nation-people mean getting stepped on by empires. It’s not actually true - there’s no link between how strong a nation is and which second sex their personification has - but people believe it anyway. They wouldn’t stop believing it until omegas started getting equal rights. Something I headcanon as only happening in modern times, but that’s another story.

So, that’s where my interpretation of Arthur comes in. He’s always struck me as a character with a huge thirst to prove himself, which makes sense if you look at England’s history. Specifically if you stretch it back to the pre-Roman era. Extreme oversimplification here, but England/the British Empire is kind of the opposite of what happened to the Roman Empire/Italy. A nation that started out in ancient times as Europe’s punching bag, but then went on to become a great power. Which fits so well with the trope of an omega hiding their true nature to stop it being a hindrance to their rise. They’ve come out into the world, teeth bared and fists swinging, and are determined no one is going to put them back down again.

Arthur wants to be great. He wants to be strong like the nations who used to rule him. He wants to be an empire. He’s been raised to believe omegas aren’t empires. Been taught that what he is is shameful and a hindrance for his people. So Arthur, ever ruthlessly practical, decides if being an omega is such a problem then he simply won’t be one. I said he might try to fake being an alpha for clout in my other post, but I actually tend to headcanon him as an omega who fakes being a beta. I’m not sure Arthur could pull off alpha and make it believable. Even in canon he’s described as being “slight” and alphas are tall and larger framed. Think Ivan or Alfred. Arthur isn’t built like them and he wouldn’t want to arouse more suspicion than he had to. So he grudgingly settles on faking a beta identity even though he would have preferred alpha. Better to fake being second rate and not get caught than to try for first and risk being outed as third, you know?

He gets away with it because he presented late. That slim frame came from a childhood of high stress where there often wasn’t enough to eat. Arthur got his first heat way past when he should have. Everyone had already accepted him as a beta, so it was easy to hush up his true nature. After that he just maintained the illusion. Until some handsome alpha catches him out during a surprise heat and all the steamy sex happens because yes please give it to me I will never get tired of this trope shut up and take my money

So, to sum up my thoughts: omegaverse Arthur wanted to be an alpha, thought he was a beta, only to eventually present as an omega. World prejudice against omegas made him decide to keep faking a beta identity. Both to avoid disappointing his people and to make the international community take him seriously as a potential world power.

There you have it. I hope this was entertaining to read because I love rambling about this stuff. Oh, and if you’re wondering about what happens with Arthur’s future mate, about his interactions with the alphas in his life, about when his true second sex would eventually be revealed to the world, about the resulting fallout from it, etc. my answer is: I think I’ll save those questions for their own post because this one is getting too long. 😉

[sequinsmile-x]

I love Hotch, he is such an amazing leader. But lately, I've been reading many reddit posts about people discussing him being a father and husband. I don't think about that too much. I think because I like him as a character, I just turn that part of him off. But now, as I am older, I realize how I agree with those redditors. Do you think if Emily were to tell him to choose, it is possible for him to choose the BAU again like before? Because even after Haley's death, he still came back. So, if I turn off the part of me that loves him, I genuinely don't know if he would like being told to choose.

I think is very nuanced, especially because in canon Hotch does eventually leave his career behind for his son (albeit when he's already been through a lot more by that stage than most people would accept.)

In my opinion, the true answer to this question really lies in the difference between Haley and Emily. I like Haley as a character, I like writing her in the fics I've got her in and I find her perspective when it comes to Hotchniss interesting to explore.

The thing is, Emily understands the job in a way Haley never could and never did. She understands what it takes from you, how the things they see change you. She understands the guilt he would feel at leaving it all behind, the voice in the back of his head saying it's his fault if someone dies and he was the one who could have saved them, because she gets that too.

So, if Emily were to ask him to quit it would be for a really really good and potentially devastating reason. And he would know that.

[asherisgone]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS DEAR SATAN SCROLL AWAY DON'T PRESS SEE MORE.

I've had major whiplash from the last 15 minutes of episode 6, so I'm here to analyse because it's eating me alive.

So I know a lot of people have theories that Aziraphale's been manipulated or miracled or the coffee is suspicious: whatever. I'm not here to fully push any theories, I'm just here to provide evidence and things for people to make their own conclusions.

First part of this is analysing Aziraphale himself:

Before we can even begin to dissect his statements, let's talk about who he is.

This angel hasn't changed his outfit in a century, forget the damn hair that has been the same since the universe even began.

He loves humanity and being humans because he is, even if he can't accept that, never has. All the way back in the aftermath of Jobe's story, their conversation, aziraphale doesn't find his peace during it, he desperately holds onto 'heaven = good' even though we've proven that isn't true. Even in Edinburgh, he's adament what they're doing is wrong (heaven's ideals) until Crowley shows him the truth of humanity; EVEN THEN he still can't accept the grey area of it all ("the side of truth... of good"), where Crowley is comfortable with his humanity, aziraphale clutches onto the "light grey" because he still craves heaven's approval.

*quick aside, I am aware Crowley does say "dark grey" but I read his tone as mocking and playful, plus he says it himself in the argument that he doesn't need hell or heaven.

But to sum that part up, that explains why Aziraphale takes the job, why he wants Crowley to be an angel again: he never got the closure he needed from heaven, he can't accept that it's just as corrupt as hell (if not more so since at least hell are doing it on purpose). He is sick of being worried and scared for Crowley, he wants to change everything so they can be together safely...

So onto the argument then..

Aziraphale says he may have misjudged the Metatron, why? because the Metatron praises him deeply to gain his trust "you're a leader, you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear."

and honestly it's mostly exaggeration.

He's a lousy leader, Crowley walked all over him during the battle of the bookshop, he even says himself that they just have to do whatever Crowley says; he steps up to his potential at the last minute with the halo. He's not only a people pleaser (cause he thinks that's what angels are), but he also knows how to say things people want to hear to get his way, especially Crowley.

THE WHOLE JOBE MINI EPISODE IS ABOUT AZIRAPHALE UNDERMINING AND LYING TO HEAVEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

So we cannot trust the Metatron - he just needs someone who he can influence and control to rule heaven, that's why Gabriel was thrown out the minute he began to make his own decisions. It's why he uses Crowley as a bargaining tool to get Azi on his side after he says "I don't want to go back to heaven"

This entices Aziraphale because as someone who doesn't like change, he'd be able to be with Crowley "like the old times" without disrupting their dynamic of unspoken partnership.

Crowley immediately feels something is off "You're better than that", after all, what happened to "we're on our side" or "we carved it out for ourselves". Crowley is entirely comfortable in being human or on his own side... until aziraphale comes along to show him he doesn't need to be alone

Crowley repeats "tell me you said no": at first in disbelief, thinking he knows aziraphale wouldn't be that rash, his face immediately falls, in complete and utter disbelief at the possibility he's losing his angel.

So he repeats the question, this time it's a plea, he's practically begging for Aziraphale to correct him even though he knows it's not possible. His eyes widen, his fear is true and he's panicking as he knows what Aziraphale just signed up for. He shows so much betrayal in this one look too it's insane how well-done this scene is...

His last minute declaration of love is wholly an attempt to convince Azi to stay, the panic in his voice is unmistakeable "I think I'd better say it now." he's rushed, he's desperate.

*another aside, Michaels delivery of "come with me" in the softest voice and puppy eyes known to man is the absolute death of me. But it speaks to his innocence and sheer ignorance of what's going on.

Crowley knows his angel, "you can't leave the bookshop" which, as far as I'm concerned, is a euphemism for himself and their relationship. (of course literally as well, I mean aziraphale would die with their shop) and with the response being "nothing lasts forever. That's an insane line, ineffable husbands? nah sorry. But it's simply untrue, he doesn't like change, he hasn't ever sold a book, he doesn't change his hair and his style simply doesn't waver. This isn't something Aziraphale would say and mean. (which is also something people are using as evidence of Azi not being himself). Although, it also shows that he's willing to give up the bookshop and earth and everything he worked for if it means he and Crowley may have a safe future in heaven.

Everyone's noticed that Crowley shows his eyes more in season 2, but only when he and aziraphale are alone, he has them off the entire conversation until after aziraphale says that nothing lasts. He puts them back on. His facial expressions and body language are all so insecure all of a sudden; they can't even look at the angel they've been pining for since the beginning of time.

Aziraphale is unwavering, which is so confusing, he has smile still plastered on his face - an incredibly forced and frankly naive smile, but he absolutely cannot grasp the concept that crowley likes and actively accepts being human, but Azi is desperate to be an angel, once thinking he lost his way and now clawing back because otherwise he isn't good. "We could be together... Angels! doing good...".

I'm entirely convinced that considering only Crowley knows about Gabriel being thrown out for thwarting heaven's plans, he knows that aziraphale and him couldn't make a difference if they tried, the reason the Metatron even suggests the two of them can work together is to control them: afterall they're the ones who prevented armaggadont the first time, and also almost declared a war between heaven and hell. If you were the Metatron you'd seek to stop them too.

This seems to be why Crowley immediately fucks off the minute he senses Aziraphale can't understand what's going on "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do". Crowley laid his heart out to the one person he thought understood him, but Aziraphale gets ahead of himself and insisting Crowley joins him in heaven signifies something utterly world shattering as they were grey together, and he thought aziraphale understood that (again I call you back to the story of Jobe). "I could always rely on you"

Aziraphale stops him for obvious reasons, but that's why when Crowley says "no nightingales" it's more than just a metaphor. Obviously they reach an impasse in the conversation, it's Crowley's way of saying they're done, but what it signifies a new shift: this isn't his angel anymore. especially when you follow this with "you idiot-" because all I can think of is "how can someone as clever as you be so stupid" back from season 1. Crowley at this point has given up. he's done.

(*aside, this is an observation if you take it as a way to say that Azi is under a miracle or manipulated that's for you to decide.)

Aziraphale tries desperately to hide his emotions, the fake smiles and the depth of regret and sadness in his eyes, he looks at Crowley like he doesn't recognise him anymore even though it's not him who's changed.

and then...

EVERY - their kiss for those who did not have the misfortune of it being spoiled for them.

Is it only me who feels physically nauseous watching this? And I don't mean because I didn't want this to happen, of course not, but it's the amount of emotion charged behind it that makes it so devastating. The anger, pure desperation and DAMN IT IM SO SORRY I CAN'T BE CALM BUT AZIRAPHALE'S FACE AND REACTION GENUINELY MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLY SAD.

two sides of this I'll analyse now.

Crowley - this is his absolute last chance and card he can play, he's done with words, "Well then... there's nothing else to say". He is heartbroken at this point, filled with desperation and pure longing for the one thing he's always been certain of: he needs this to work out. He literally runs to save their relationship, and fucking yanks aziraphale (love the parallel to season 1) but look at his determination in the furrowed brows... This isn't a loving and sentimental kiss, this is life or death as far as he's concerned.

Aziraphale - dear lord, where do I begin... He's caught off guard but something looks so wrong, it's not the look of a welcome surprise, it almost angry. He's upset that it's happening now, not that it's happening at all. He wants Crowley from 5 minutes ago, before their world crumbled in on them, but now he's hurt and he won't let himself have this Crowley that won't be with him as an angel, supporting him as supreme archangel... My only evidence for Aziraphale wanting to kiss Crowley just not in that moment is purely his hands. Granted, Crowley was holding that fucker tight, like goddamn- but he didn't stop it by any means, not for a whole 12 seconds. He wavers, holding him gently for only a moment with the most amount of trepidation, before reeling back as if he'd be burnt if he lingered, holding his hands away.

Afterwards?

that's the most betrayed look I've seen in my life... It's a "what the hell did you just do, you've only made this harder for me and yourself" Aziraphale has made his mind up and knows exactly what his plan is, he wants to make peace with leaving crowley, giving up on taking him with him, but this has proven how dedicated Crowley is to this, only making separating that much more painful.

That's why he doesn't say anything. Settling for "I forgive you." The very same words he echoed in season 1. A demon, the unforgivable fallen angels. Aziraphale is giving him another chance almost, saying "you were never fallen in my eyes" but also allowing him to leave, forgiving him for throwing away the opportunity Aziraphale is giving to him (I'm not saying that as in I think that's a good option I mean it from Aziraphale's perspective.)

Crowley immediately picks up on that, his voice defeated upon realising that aziraphale wasn't receptive to his efforts "don't bother". His lasts words to the angel that he no longer recognises and who doesn't recognise him. His angel basically admitted that he doesn't love him as a demon, only as an angel...

And that's the most poignant part I think. Nina is right, they don't communicate, and although a lot was said, it wasn't enough...

Aziraphale's touch of the lips shows so much. It's almost as though he feels violated or robbed of what was meant to be pure and special, but soured by their own inability to talk. Not only that, it's clearly a lingering feeling, he doesn't fully understand what just happened, still trying to catch up with his own feelings, it's the last thing from Crowley that he's got now, their relationship in total tatters.

right if you made it this far, I'm sorry for rambling on but I do sincerely hope you all found this interesting and can add to my observations!! I love this fandom and don't forget to keep watching, we need that season 3.

[squadmuse]

IN LOSS AND LOVE

AN AARON HOTCHNER X OFC STORY

A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST EVER POTENTIAL MULTICHAPTER STORY SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE TOO (1602 WORDS)

A woman stood alone.

Empty cars were lined on either side of her, one of them her own, and yet she could not move another step, even as snow started to fall down from the heavens upon her.

She didn’t know what she was doing here, she didn’t want to be here and god knows that she shouldn’t be here, but here she was standing in front of the community hall.

Death.

That was the reason for her standing there, and for why her heart was shattered. Death had snatched someone away from her, someone important and involved within her life, and grief had fallen upon her heavier than the incoming snowstorm.

He had been her husband, her best friend once upon a time. Life hadn’t been easy for them both, and they had divorced a while ago, yet he had been so integrated into her heart and life, that just walking through those big doors before her, it felt that if she did, then it meant he was indeed gone and she was somehow betraying him.

But she needed to do this, it wasn't just herself she had to worry about, and she had been struggling, the entire family and their friends had been too. So, with a heavy heart and deep sigh, Eleonora persevered and let courage prevail.

Her gloved hand felt shaky as she held the door open for herself, but the warmth of the heat indoors made Eleonora feel somewhat relaxed. The soft clicks of her heeled boots seemed to echo slightly as she made her way along the corridor, her hazel eyes looking for the room that the group were to be meeting in.

Luckily, it didn’t take Eleonora long, as she found the room easily. She could hear muffled chatter from within, and again she felt her anxieties rising from within herself. This was it, finally confronting that Joseph was dead, and she pushed herself through the heavy door.

It was like she had imagined the group to look like. A number of chairs were set up in a large circle, and a few people had gathered already and were chatting. They seemed friendly enough, guessed Eleonora. There was even a small table where some were making tea or coffee. Coffee sounded quite heavenly at that moment to her.

Alas, Eleonora didn’t get to go make her coffee as an elderly woman seemed to appear out of nowhere and before her. She seemed kind, a soft smile upon her aged face, painted dark red. A frail hand reached out, with matching dark red painted nails.

“Ah you must be Eleonora?” asked the old woman to Eleonora, who nodded with a kind smile.

“Yes, I’m Eleonora, and I’m guessing you are Margot?” replied Eleonora. Margot had been the one to reply to her email about the group and the group leader.

An even wider smile came across Margot’s face as she nodded. “Ah it is good to see you here, it’s always hard at first, but I think you’ll find us a friendly bunch who are in the same boat,” said Margot as she rubbed Eleonora’s right arm gently.

Eleonora sniffled slightly. “It’s been a couple of weeks and with Christmas coming up, not having Joseph there is just heartbreaking…,” replied Eleonora as she accepted a tissue from Margot.

Margot nodded. “I wish I could say it will get easier, but there’s always a piece of you missing. It has been fifteen years since I lost my George in a car accident,” she added, sighing sadly.

Eleonora felt her heart break for the woman before her. “Oh I'm so sorry, how do you get by after so long?”

“Back then I had a good family around me, and I had my three children too,” replied Margot as she walked slowly with Eleonora towards two seats next to each other. “But I found this group, and it helped a lot and I mean it. I found that I wasn’t alone and people who completely understood the loss of a spouse or partner too.”

Eleonora nodded as she slid down onto the foldout chair. “I was really nervous about coming to be honest, Margot. It just feels like being here cements that Joseph isn’t ever coming back.”

The elder woman grabbed hold of Eleonora’s hands and held them in a gentle grasp. “The first step is always the hardest part, but you are here, and we always help each other here. Joseph might be gone, but he’s still there in your heart, isn’t he?”

“Oh yes, I mean we might’ve been divorced, but he was still so important in my life!” said Eleonora to Margot, who smiled comfortingly at her.

“You had a son with him, didn’t you? That you were co-parenting?” asked Margot as she leaned closer to Eleonora, the scent of lilies and roses wafting towards her.

“Yes, Theo. He turned three years old back in August. God, he misses his papa, but he’s so young that he doesn’t really understa-” replied Eleonora, her voice breaking as she thought about her little boy crying out at night for his papa or wanting to speak to his papa.

Margot sniffled herself as she pulled Eleonora into a warm hug. Eleonora could feel the tears running down her cheeks, but she didn’t care nor worry. Just from meeting and chatting with Margot, she felt safe, and she felt comfortable showing her emotions.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” murmured Margot as she comforted Eleonora. “I know exactly what you’re going through and just let it all out. Nobody will ever judge or ridicule you here.”

Eleonora pulled herself away from Margot’s embrace and wiped her wet eyes. “God, I probably look like a drowned cat right now… do you have any tissues and maybe some coffee?” asked Eleonora as she held onto Margot’s outreached hand.

Margot nodded and turned to another member of the group. “Emmett dear, will you fetch some of the tissues from the supply cupboard? I don’t think they’ve been put out yet.” she asked, and a tall man nodded and Eleonora guessed that he was indeed Emmett. “Now back to you my dear, some tea will do you some favour instead of caffeinated coffee!” she added as she brought Eleonora over to the little table she had seen before.

“I’ve never been a big tea drinker before, and I’ve been drinking coffee nonstop lately, I feel,” said Eleonora as she watched as Margot whipped together a white polystyrene cup of tea for her.

Margot nodded as she worked. “Tea was such a blessing for me, helped calm me and helped me sleep too. Do you have milk in it?” she asked, and Eleonora nodded and before long she was holding the warm cup in her pale hands.

After one sip, Eleonora did feel more relaxed somehow. Perhaps it was the warmth, or maybe it was the milk or just that someone had made it for her. The last few weeks had been tough, and she had been prioritising Theo over herself. “Wow, this is probably the best tea I’ve ever had, Margot!” she stated as more people turned up through the doors that Eleonora had been nervous about walking through herself.

Margot chuckled and rubbed Eleonora’s arm. “I’m glad you like it, now I hate to be rude, but I need to go welcome the other newbies!” smiled the old woman who Eleonora was now already fond of.

“Don’t let me keep you, I’ll just sit here and drink my tea!” replied Eleonora as she brushed a strand of her own light brown hair away from her face as Margot made her way to the new arrivals.

Eleonora hadn’t been joking about the cup of tea, it was a great cup of tea, and it didn’t take long for her to wander over to the table and take a biscuit to nibble on. Emmett chatted away with her for a bit and introduced her to some others he knew, and it was then that Eleonora knew she had made the right decision to come tonight.

It was only as she was talking away to Sara and Juana, two women close in age to herself, that Eleonora locked eyes with another set that she had not seen in over ten years, but she would never forget those brown eyes nor the man who they belonged to. Eleonora found herself rising from her chair and, if by autopilot or something more, she felt herself hurrying ever so slightly to who she had seen and who had seen her too.

Eleven years had passed, and a lot had changed in Eleonora’s life, but Aaron Hotchner had not.

"Ella is that you?" he asked, his gaze unyielding yet filled with withheld emotion.

Eleonora nodded, feeling herself begin to tear up at the sight of Aaron after all these years.

"Yeah, it's me, Aaron," replied Eleonora, and with that she felt herself being pulled into his tall frame and into a deep hug that was exactly how she remembered.

"It's been so long. I missed you," he murmured into her neck.

"I know, I missed you too. But we've found each other again," she whispered, staring up at him.

Years had passed, loves had been lost and lives created, but at that moment, the two of them were there, together and perhaps just what each other needed.

[kidrunaway]

I don't understand how people think Markus wouldn't develop some sort of ptsd or atleast a few symptoms of it after the war happened. I hate it when people say he lived a good life in a mansion when he did NOT have a good life at all. He just had a "good owner." (I have a google document of me and @hamartia-grander talking about how Markus had suffered with Carl)

People overlook Markus' story way too much and make such stupid assumptions that make me want to rip my eyes out. But I won't be talking about this for now. I want to talk about how much of an emotional character Markus is, and how he would be like after war and how it could have potential fanfic writing.

Markus has gone through nothing but hell. We all know this. His story includes some lingering loneliness to it because it seems that everything he touches turns into poison or is dead. He clearly carries the guilt of his people/friends dying. The second after he deviates, it doesn't matter what choice you pick, he still ends up carrying the guilt of hurting someone. Having to be responsible of God knows how many people can be exhausting, and the rooftop scene with North clarifies how absolutely lost and helpless he feels. He was quick to accept Norths' love during that scene. it's unsurprising that he got with the first person to give him any kind of romantic attention because he's lost almost every positive relationship he's made (I'm not a norkus shipper and won't be one, I just want to give insight to people of how much he's hurting and how it's having an effect on himself.)

People still have the audacity to say he didn't suffer enough to justify being Jerichos leader. After he first was traumatized the second he hurt leo/Carl, had to go through the junkyard and was pretty much hyperventilating during that scene (Just a lovely reminder that his diagnostics program wasn’t working either so he knew it was bad but didn’t know what‘s wrong or how long he had left), and he kept getting more and more traumatized throughout his story. You can see how numb he becomes. Compared to when he first deviates where he's crying and is stressed, to seeing his friends die, he does nothing but sigh because at this point, he's had enough. Now that's just upsetting. He's grown so used to seeing people die around him. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him. It still absolutely does. He just shoves it down.

What happens to him after everything is over is now just a bunch of headcanons, but I like to think he still has this instinct of always wanting to protect his friends. He can't let his guard down. The second he hears a loud noise, he goes to investigate it. He doesn't sleep anymore, and even if he does, he twitches in his sleep and sometimes even wakes himself up (I like to think they're small internal electrocutions). He cannot open up properly. He randomly gets flashbacks about everything that has happened to him and pauses with whatever task he's currently doing. It passes by like a short film and disappears just like that, leaving Markus upset. It's like a reminder of what happened to him.

I've been thinking about writing a simarkus fic about Markus opening up and breaking down. I've seen endless fanart and stories of Simon doing that, but never Markus. So I want to turn that around. I want Markus to be a little more soft. I want to write about how he should know that he's allowed to let his guard down and can be soft.