#just dumping my feels on ye old internet don't mind me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noxshade · 11 months

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For the Record.

This is about my fanfiction, so I don't know why I feel weirdly anxious about this.

So I just posted chapter 32 of Things You Cannot Forget, and it had some issues. I sort of swerved into this super-fanservicey crossover territory that made no sense in the story, but satisfied the nerd in me.

I sort of knew going in that it would be a leap from the rest of the story, but the real problem is that it was done mostly to amuse me. Which is fine, it is just fanfiction, but I want to make a cohesive story that flows naturally. The fic itself is already a crossover of two different series, it doesn't need me hinging major plot points on references to further other works.

So surprise, surprise, it was not a terrific chapter. It's not a piece of writing I'm not proud of, but it's also I realized I had made some pretty big writing errors and just introduced shit that was of no consequence to fill time when I should be moving towards the conclusion of this story. After getting feedback from a few different sources, I decided to totally re-write the offending scenes. Not all of it is different (the intro and outro scenes are almost untouched), but the middle parts where I dump SMT and Lovecraft lore with little-to-no explanation was Not Great.

All in all, I do like the new chapter much better. It flows better, it focuses on the right things, and it feels more in tone with the rest of the fic. I do want to keep the old chapter up somewhere, and a random ass Tumblr post is as good a repository for this as any. So below the break is the original version of chapter 32, titled Sand Dune.

After a day to recover, the Phantom Thieves reconvened at Leblanc, with the intent of exploring the bottom of Mementos. Makoto, ever the stickler for efficiency, pointed out that there were a few requests they could handle while they plumbed the depths.

“I’m surprised that there’re any requests at all,” Ryuji said, scrolling through the Phansite. “Figure’d Maruki would have gotten all these desires sorted.”

“There are some things even he can’t fix,” Sumire said, her tone worried as she also scrolled through the page. “But these requests are really dire.”

“Some of it might actually precipitate from Maruki’s perfect world,” Akechi commented. “This mother who abandoned her child might be fulfilling her ideal life. Or perhaps Maruki’s brainwashing just missed a detail or got a wire crossed in her mind.”

“Do you send calling cards for these little missions?” Rin asked, standing behind the counter and staring up at the jars of coffee beans.

“No,” Haru explained. “Futaba-chan usually just messages the target in the real world. We found that method simpler and just as effective, provided they don’t have a Palace.”

“Then Chika was right,” Rin said, turning back to the group.

“Your friend?” Yusuke asked.

Rin nodded. “She said that a bunch of people claimed they got a calling card after posting on the internet. She didn’t believe any of them.”

“Wait…” Ryuji said, leaning back in the booth, staring at the ceiling. “Does this Chika go to Kosei?”

“Yes,” Rin answered. “She’s a super-Phangirl. Runs the school newspaper. Or maybe she did. I haven’t been able to check in Maruki's world.”

“Is she datin’ a Shujin boy with short black hair?” Ryuji asked.

Rin thought for a moment. “Yes. They met in Hawaii.”

“Huh. And here I thought Mishima was just lyin’,” Ryuji said, then explained: “He said he had a girlfriend he was spendin’ Christmas with when I texted him, and I called him out, but he said she was a Kosei student, and a Phangirl. I just kinda figured he made’er up. I was going to ask Yusuke about it, but then we got all caught up in this bullshit.”

“Mishima with a girlfriend…” Ann mused. “I guess the world is just full of surprises.”

“I think we should get going, if you’re all quite done gossiping,” Akechi said, a familiar venom in his voice. Akira reluctantly agreed, and they gathered their things and took the train to Shibuya, then passed into the Metaverse and down into Mementos proper. They all gave Rin and Sumire a run-down of Mementos, and answered the odd question that followed. Akira gave a nod to Lavenza, who stood by the door to the Velvet Room, still invisible to the others. They noted the gray, metallic strands that snaked across the ceiling, so similar to what they had seen in Maruki’s lab.

“That has to be the good doctor’s work,” Yusuke said, gesturing up as they all sorted out items and equipment.

“It’s certainly new,” Haru commented. “Oracle, can you scan it?”

Futaba looked all across the pattern of material, her goggles humming slightly. “Nothing special. Whatever he’s doing with this, we’re so far away that my Persona can’t pick up anything. If we follow them deeper, we might get some clues.”

“Well, they will probably lead back to the Prison, if what he told Witch is true,” Ann said.

They finished their preparations, and Morgana was eager to show the two newcomers his amazing transformation, but when he bounced to the ground in van form, neither seemed that surprised or enthused.

“Really? Nothing?” Morgana whined at Sumire’s quiet ‘Oh,’ and Rin’s stone-faced reaction.

“With everything that’s happened, and everything we’ve seen, I guess a talking cat turning into a talking automobile just isn’t surprising,” Sumire admitted. Morgana moaned his disappointment.

Rin was quiet, her eyes squinting behind her mask. “Does the air conditioning smell like cat breath?” she asked, finally.

“Wha- No!” Morgana protested.

“A little bit, if we drive for too long,” Makoto added.

“Are the seat cat fur or cat tongue texture?” Rin continued.

The headlights that served as Van-gana’s eyes bulged, and the purring engine seemed to sputter before he responded. “Gross! They’re fine leather, I’ll have you know.”

“It’s not fine at all,” Yusuke commented. “It's passable, at best.”

Rin didn’t seem to notice, and continued her barrage of questions: “Do you have to eat or fuel up? How does your exhaust work?”

“It just works, okay?!” Morgana shouted back, becoming increasingly flustered.

“Do you get hairballs in your engine?” Sumire asked, joining the inquiry.

“Just get in!” Morgana huffed, rearing up back, then back down on his front tires, as if putting a foot down. “Jeez.”

They all piled in, only to find it cramped with their two new members. Eventually, Makoto opted to step out of the van, and ride on her Persona, which was newly awakened into the vehicle Agnes. Akira took Morgana’s wheel, and the two of them descended into the depths.

After a few minutes of driving and some light banter made awkward by the cramped interior, the Thieves arrived at the entrance to what used to be the Prison of Regression. The gray metallic threads had been woven into the fabric of Mementos, and they had grown thicker as they descended, eventually looking more like roots of a plant. They passed the enormous black stone slabs that marked the beginning of the Prison and disembarked from their modes of transport. The area beyond the entrance was no longer an overwhelming red, but a pale blue color; not at all dissimilar to Maruki’s laboratory. They found the panopticon-like temple not far from the entrance. Instead of the veins of red desire and a enormous red chalice, the space was now filled with cables and wires; with massive lenses and blue floodlights.

“I think we can safely assume Doctor Maruki is behind this change,” Makoto said as she gazed about at the lines of neon cyan and reflective metal that criss-crossed the space. Akira looked up the thread of gold woven into sheets of wires and fiber-optics that held camera lenses the size of large trucks above them, each shifting its internal mechanism in a way that made Akira feel distinctly… observed.

They scaled the root-tentacle-cables down the space, past the now-empty cells and down to the floor of the space. A massive pillar of neon cables rose from the floor, then split apart into separate, glowing streams of energy, bounced between hexagonal plates and leading away from the entrance, to a new hallway at the back.

“This is almost certainly the ‘lynchpin’ Lady Elizabeth mentioned,” Morgana said as they approached.

Akira looked at the structure that had been created… or perhaps grown? It struck him that this was a particularly powerful location: the nexus of thought in Tokyo. From what Elizabeth had said, they were not the first to fight a mysteriously powerful cognitive being. This space had either been created by the Holy Grail or had created the Grail in turn, and now Maruki had been drawn to it by his own Persona, if Rin had interpreted his words correctly. What other beings might it draw from the Sea of Souls or beyond?

“So all the threads he wove through Mementos are anchored here?” Yusuke asked, glancing about. Akira was also shocked by the transformation the space had endured. He recognized most of it, including the plaques on the ground with the Latin names of the deadly sins on them. They had fought the Holy Grail here. They had defeated Yaldabaoth here, in a way.

“Not quite, Inari,” Futaba corrected, scanning the mass of cables and metallic mesh. “It’s the other way around. They don’t converge here; this is where they begin: the stuff we’ve seen all around Mementos starts here and spreads like roots.”

“This must be what he made on Christmas,” Rin said, staring up at the space, her eyes lazily following the glowing lines of the cables.

Ryuji wandered closer and gave the cables a smack with his bat, to no effect. “Doesn’t seem like we can cut it off here,” he said.

“It all looks really similar to his Persona,” Ann said. “If he created this, it makes sense.”

“Meaning we probably have to deal with Maruki to get rid of it and separate the two dimensions,” Akechi added.

“It seems that he may have expanded the space since we were last here,” Haru said, having walked to the side. She gestured to the hole in the wall where the lines of energy were directed out, there were a series of escalators out of the space now. They all circled the central structure with her and approached the dark moving stairs. “I doubt the escalators were something the Holy Grail decided to include.”

“You never know,” Rin said, as they stepped on the moving stairs and traveled beyond the panopticon. The area behind that looked like another floor of Mementos, but… infused with Maruki’s Palace. The subtle white glow, the posters talking about happiness, the blue-veined metal roots burrowed into the ceiling. The Metanav buzzed in Akira’s pocket and notified him of the new area they had uncovered as they did, and a massive new section appeared on the map, one that had them ascending, but on a new path, parallel to the original descent.

“And having reached the bottom of the Inferno, we must climb our way to Purgatorio,” Akechi commented. From the looks other Thieves gave, it seemed only Makoto, Yusuke and Akira had understood his reference to Dante’s work, but Akira’s rebuttal was cut off as a toy car honked its way up the escalator, trailing balloons. The tiny Jose waved at each of them, driving his one-child car.

“Hello, Jose,” Ann greeted with a wave.

“Oh, hello,” he commented to the Thieves. “Are you exploring this new area too?”

“We have some business here,” Akira said, glancing over to see Sumire utterly lost, and Rin tilting her head. “Have you been following us, Jose?”

“No, but I thought it might be a good idea to try this area’s new flowers,” he said. “I’ll see you later!” He honked the car’s toy-like horn again, then sped off down the train tracks.

“Anything else I need to know about this crazy place?” Sumire asked. “This is so weird, it’s like Alice and Wonderland,”

“Alice in Wonderland,” Akechi corrected. “The mental world is bound to not make sense from our rational perspective. That child is no stranger than any Shadow.”

“Why does he have yellow eyes like Elizabeth and Margaret?” Rin asked, to which Akira simply shrugged.

“I don’t really think it’s any of our business,” Akira said. Rin seemed to accept that, and they set off into the new layer of Mementos that the Metanav had labeled the “Path of Da’at.”

They found the targets of the requests with relative ease and handled them. As they ascended the floors of the path, the Shadows grew more and more powerful, each battle chipping away at their resources. New, strange Shadows appeared; not just the ones from Maruki’s Palace and the Qliphoth World, but others; ones that had no interest in negotiation. There were pairs of Obsidian Gargoyles with unnaturally long arms and no faces that hovered in midair, along with bright red crustaceans with wings that Al Azif called Crimson Fungoides. They each had odd, bizarrely powerful attacks that caught the Thieves off-guard, but the hardest fight was the pack of five dog-like Shadows they fought close to the top, each called Canine of Corners. They were oddly immaterial creatures, each with a long, bladed tongue and their solid outlines trailing away into geometric, fractal smoke.

They stopped to rest on an empty floor right before the end. Akira passed out snacks, coffee and medical supplies. The climb had been pretty taxing.

“What’s with these new Shadows that don’t wanna talk?” Ann asked as she helped Rin with an energy drink.

“They all feel like those bizarre things we fought in the warehouse,” Haru commented. Akira shared a brief glance with Rin, neither wanting to bring up that they had discussed this exact scenario.

They packed their snacks and moved on. The further they moved into the Path of Da’at, the more Mementos resembled Maruki’s lab. Eventually, following one final set of escalators, the Thieves found themselves in a large, metallic room. Glowing cables snaked back and forth across the floor, all feeding into a large glass tube that rose all the way to the extremely high ceiling. There were futuristic workstations all around, each with a holographic screen that showed some part of Mementos. The group surmised that they had reached the heart of Maruki’s data-gathering effort. Futaba moved to try and see what could be done about it, but from behind them, they heard someone walking in. They turned to see a human figure approaching. Yusuke and Ryuji readied their weapons, and Akira even caught Makoto pulling the hammer back on her revolver, but when they could see who it was, they were all surprised.

“Lady Lavenza?” Morgana asked. The small girl approached them with a smile on her face, her expression calm.

“I thought you could use some assistance in this matter Trickster,” she said, bowing slightly. Her yellow eyes flicked between the different members of the Thieves. “This place has become exceedingly dangerous, after all.”

“I thought…” Akira began. “What changed? I thought this world was too taxing for you and your siblings to manifest. Why-”

“It’s not her,” Rin said, taking a step forward. Lavenza stopped short, her smile dropping to worry.

“Your confusion and distrust is expected, but-” Lavenza began.

“Witch is right,” Futaba cut her off, her goggles glowing a faint red as she scanned the short figure. “It’s not Lavenza. She and her sister registered like Mona. This is some kind of Shadow.”

‘Lavenza’ dropped all pretense, the emotion sliding right off of her face. Her kind yellow eyes suddenly looked dead, and her voice changed to one of an indeterminate gender, but with a Shadow’s distortion. “You all continue to surprise me. I settled on this form after much debate as the most trustworthy and the least suspicious, and you still saw through it.”

A dark haze began to gather around the thing that looked like Lavenza. In a blur, its form changed to Sojiro with yellow eyes, then to Sae, then to Wakaba, then finally to Maruki in his old lab coat and sandals. The Shadow stared at them from behind his glasses and flop of curly hair.

“Good thing we’re not that stupid,” Akechi said, drawing his serrated blade. “I assume you’re some security measure Maruki put here to try to protect this area?”

“You are very wrong, distorted echo,” the Shadow said. Akira raised an eyebrow at the term it used for Akechi, but pushed past it. “I am here of my own free will, as the doctor’s goals and mine align.”

Rin’s eyes narrowed and she shifted in place, brushing her combat sandals on the metal floor. “If you’re here to stop us, then you’re too late,” she said.

“Far from it,” it replied. “You are too late to stop the world that is to come.” It darkened, abandoning the shape of a human, growing to monstrous size and adopting a new form.

“I prefer to use intermediaries for this kind of base violence,” it said, its voice deepening and growing in volume. “But you have defeated the other roadblocks I created. So I shall show you all the truth.” Its form resolved into a massive, three-legged monster. Its head was nothing but a mouth, shrouded by tendrils and contorted into a permanent scream, its head a wriggling, serpentine tentacle. Blue orbs dotted its black body as its green-tinted hands dripped with dark oil.

The entirety of the Phantom Thieves lined up against the creature Futaba’s Persona labeled the Moon Howler. Cornered as they were, it would be hard to not use the whole group in battle.

Looking back on what Akira would remember of this battle later, he would pinpoint that as their mistake.

“Hahaha! Perhaps the time for pawns has not yet passed after all!” it boomed, then raised its hands and unleashed a deep magenta pulse of energy from its gaping mouth, its shroud of tentacles parting. Akira recognized a status effect attack, but his fears were soon exceeded as Ryuji turned and swung at Akira with his mace. It was a brainwash attack.

“No! It got Skull!” Futaba shouted over their mental link from within her Persona. “And Queen, Noir and Fox!”

Ryuji branshied his weapon again, trying to bring it down on Akira’s head. Akira blocked with his dagger as he saw the entire team descending into chaos. Ann was desperately dodging a series of ax swings from Haru, Morgana and Sumire were trying to restrain Makoto as she thrashed about wildly, and Akechi squared off with Yusuke in careful sword duel. Akira looked back into Ryuji’s eyes, only to find nothing there, just a dark void.

“Skull!” Akira shouted, trying to hold back Ryuji’s attack. “It’s me! Snap out of it! It’s just another trick!”

Rin ran full-tilt at Ryuji, tackling him off Akira, and quickly putting him on a kind of leg-lock where she held both his arms behind his back with her legs. Akira was momentarily impressed by her ingenuity, but looking over the internal battle tearing his team apart refocused him on the threat: the Shadow.

“I’m working on something to help, Joker,” Futaba said. “But… It's fighting back. This isn’t just another Brain Jack. This Shadow, it’s different.”

Akira summoned his metallic angel Persona Sandalphon to blast the Moon Howler with a bless attack, but it just laughed at him.

“You face me alone, Akira Kurusu?” it asked. Joker reeled back. How on Earth did this Shadow know his name? “Yes, I know you. I am the darkness of the human heart. I know all humanity, and I know your soul. Nothing you will do here can possibly matter. Free will is an illusion. You think you have escaped the doctor’s prison, but there is no freedom, only larger and smaller cages.”

“You’re wrong!” Akira shouted. “I know we can make a difference. We can’t… we can’t…”

“Fail?” it said, completing his thought. “Hahaha! You already have. I have seen it. This world is one of many, and I have seen the world where you fall. In this, and all others. Nothing you do can ever matter, because in the future of another world, you have already made the opposite choice. There is no hope!”

“That’s bullshit!” he and Futaba shouted together.

“Don’t hit us with that ‘multiverse’ crap, you overgrown tripod!” Futaba said.

“I don’t care about other timelines- I’m still here, and I’m still going to stop you!” Akira shouted. He swapped Personas over to the robed and spear-wielding Odin, who called down lighting on the Shadow. It seemed to injure it, but only a tiny fraction.

“No, you can’t,” the Moon Howler taunted. “Your mind already cracked when it touched oblivion. Let me show you the futility of your actions.”

The Shadow raised its hand at Akira, and suddenly his mind was assaulted again. He screamed and doubled over as images and sensations crashed through his mind. He felt burning heat, smelled decay, and could taste the void. He saw Tokyo. A dozen different Tokyos; each with something terribly wrong with them. The red-veined Mementos Fusion they had averted was there, but then there were more. One where a yellow fog shrouded the entire city as a multi-colored eye gazed down as the citizens slowly disintegrated into mist, then one where the people on the street were replaced with crystal coffins as the moon grew larger and larger in the green-blue sky.

He tried to shut them out, keep his wits about him and remember the techniques for mental control that Maruki had taught him, but the screams of an entire city dying filled his ears. He saw Tokyo turned inside out, the souls of its inhabitants consumed to birth a new god as angels and demons warred over the sand-blasted hellscape that the city had become. Then a chillingly un-fantastical vision of Tokyo: missiles raining down and vaporizing the city in a mushroom cloud.

Each of these visions were compressed with dozens more, like individual frames of a film that made no sense, but played so loud as to drown out all else.

“This is no time to keel over, Joker!” he heard Akechi say at the same time he saw the world end. Vision, after vision, after vision cascaded over him. He wanted to scream; he might already have been screaming, but he couldn't hear his own voice over the thousands of lives being ended as Maruki smiled at him and the world faded away into the roar of the void.

“Joker!” he almost heard Futaba shout. “Something happening… I can’t see… I can’t…”

The rest of what she said was lost as Akira’s entire world became the thrumming laughter of a malicious god.

---

Futaba Sakura looked around herself. She was supposed to be at the bottom of Mementos, supporting her team, but she wasn’t. Instead, she was standing at the top of a ruined building, in a lifeless, ruined Tokyo that was buried by sand.

Her mind raced as she looked around. Her goggles were gone, but she was still in her Metaverse outfit, with its skin tight bodysuit and neon green lines. She gazed out over the city around here. There wasn’t a single living thing in sight. The building she was on was slightly askew, leaned up against a massive hill of sand that was so tall that the top of it spilled over onto the roof, just a bit. All around her were the sand-blasted ruins of Tokyo. Gone was the sea, gone was the horizon, like the city now existed in a permanent sandstorm. She could see the Tokyo Skytree past another row of office buildings, partially destroyed.

She tried to think back. She’d been trying to support her teammates after several of them had succumbed to a powerful brainwashing spell. She had just prepared a special cleansing effect, but then her vision had begun to dim, and Al Azif had warned about… what was that warning it had given her? “Dimensional…” something. Futaba swore, not used to not remembering something. And now here she was, trapped in some kind of dream or hallucination. She was still not quite over spending a week with her dead mother, and now whenever the hell this Shadow was had trapped her in another illusion. Al Azif had given it another name beyond Moon Howler, something Egyptian-sounding. Was that related to the sandy expanse before her? There were no pyramids here, just her memories of her own tomb, and a blazing, dry heat.

Was there anything here? It felt like a post-apocalyptic landscape, like those Australian action movies with the cool cars. Was this nothing more than a figment of her dying imagination? Or had she been-

“Hello, Oracle.”

Futaba spun around to see a person on the roof with her, where there had been no one else moments ago. He looked to be a man of perhaps twenty or thirty. He was tall, with an slender, almost androgynous figure and well-coiffed blond hair that was carefully slicked, but feathered in the back. He was dressed in an immaculately tailored double-breasted black business blazer, with an orange tie and spotless black dress pants and shoes. Everything about him was far too clean and slick to fit in with the sandy surroundings. Futaba focused on his eyes, and saw that he was heterochromatic: his left eye was a deep red, and his right was a rich blue.

“Who are you?” Futaba found herself almost shouting. “Where am I? Are my friends… Did you do this to me?”

“You have so many questions, but only some of them are relevant,” he replied, his voice smooth and even. He was unnaturally calm. Futaba knew instantly that he wasn’t human. He couldn’t be. If she was even still alive.

If any of this was even real.

“My name… well, I suppose you can call me Louis,” the man said, scratching his chin with a ringed finger. “As for where you are, it’s Tokyo. But not your Tokyo, in either the past or the future. You might call it a… possible Tokyo.”

“I know what a parallel universe is,” Futaba responded, slightly annoyed. “I’ve seen movies before. You dragged me to some apocalyptic timeline… for what?”

Louis smiled. “To save you,” he said, turning and walking down the slope of sand piled against the building. Futaba was annoyed, but hurried after him, sliding past him down the bank of sand.

“Are my friends safe?” Futaba asked as Louis finished walking down the slope, the sand sliding right off his dress shoes.

“That depends on a great many things, Oracle,” he said. “They were attacking each other, and at the mercy of an Outer God, so I would say no, but you were preparing to aid them. So perhaps the answer is yes.” Futaba was quickly burning though what little patience she had. This cryptic super-being was more annoying than any Shadow they had faced, but she had to go along with him if she wanted answers.

“What do you want?” Futaba asked.

“I want a certainty of outcomes,” Louis said as he passed Futaba and kept walking. Futaba followed after him.

“What outcome do you want to make certain of?” she asked.

“Your victory,” Louis said. “Your world is one I have always treasured, because He was unable to influence it. And even though He is unable to directly affect your world, His design and intentions can still manifest. Patterns propagate, regardless of intent. You handily defeated His shadow in the Grail, but now this doctor with the Idiot God in his heart is trying to carry on a dream that will bring about a vision of the world very close to His.” Louis stopped and looked back at Futaba. “Too close.”

“Can you just skip to the part where you help me?” Futaba asked, frustrated by his rambling.

“My, the children are impatient these days,” he said, snorting a small laugh. “I had to convince Stephen to help me contact you like this, in this imaginary pocket space, and you just can’t wait to leave.”

He kept walking, and Futaba was forced to follow him as he made his way around the ruined city. “Your world is important to me, Oracle. More than you could ever know. But I can see that you are concerned for your friends, so I will keep this brief.” They arrived at a clearing, what might have been the Shibuya crosswalk, buried under sand. It was hard to tell where they were with so many landmarks eroded. “The location you are fighting at in your world is one of immense significance. It can empower lesser, banished Shadows like the unwelcome guest currently making a mess of your group, but it can also allow those outside your world to cross over, if they are powerful or interested. And I am both of those things.”

“Then you can help us fight that… thing?” she asked, remembering the other name her Persona had assigned it. “That… ‘Nyarlathotep’?”

Louis shook his head, his blond hair fluttering slightly. “Each transgression across borders invites a reaction and reprisal. Even I dare not interfere beyond this chat. But this fact can be used against your foe, for he is an interloper. He should not be there. If you can attract the attention of higher powers, then the reprisal he deserves will deal with him and remove him from your world.”

“So I… call his bosses and tell them to come deal with it?” Futaba asked. It couldn’t be that simple, could it?

“If it is helpful to think of it that way,” Louis said. “I can give you a phrase that will summon a being that will ‘deal’ with him. Though it will only work once, and only at your current location, as that is the only location where such a summoning can occur.”

“And you’re sure you can’t come back and help more?” Futaba asked. “You’re clearly some kind of big-shot metaphysical super-boss.”

Louis smiled and chuckled. “My aid and power is available in your world to those who have cultivated the power of the Star. Your Joker can call upon me, but he has chosen to avoid summoning me, as he is frightened of what my power may represent. If you make it out of this mess, tell him this from me: it is not the effect of great power he should be concerned about, but what those with power will do to those without.”

Futaba swallowed hard. That particular sentence felt ominous. The wind picked up and pelted her with sand; she felt it was time to go, but she had one last question to ask.

“Why me?” she said. “Why not tell this right to Joker if you know him?”

“Because I want to minimize my involvement,” Louis said, reaching into the pocket of his blazer. “And you hold the tome of forbidden knowledge in your world, so you are much easier to contact.” He withdrew a small, rigid rectangle of black paper: a business card. He extended it towards Futaba, between his index and middle finger.

Futaba reached a hand out, but felt herself recoil with doubt. “And there are no catches for this help? No fine print?”

“Normally, there would be,” Louis said. “But in this, I offer only knowledge, and I offer it freely. Our objectives align.”

Futaba reached forward again, and tentatively took the black business card from his fingers.

And before she could form another thought, she was gone.

---

Akira’s head felt exceedingly empty. The visions had stopped, as had the screaming from his party. He stood, shaky at first, but was helped to his feet by Ryuji and Yusuke, who had apparently been cured of their brainwash-effect. He looked around, and saw four of the Thieves lined up against the Moon Howler. Morgana, Akechi, Sumire and Ann held the line against a wave of Almighty attacks from the Shadow.

“You feelin’ better, bro?” Ryuji said as he steadied Akira and helped him stand. Rin, Haru and Makoto were a few feet away, hiding behind a computer console and patching each other up with their medical supplies.

Akira was about to respond, when he looked up and noticed that Futaba’s Persona was glowing with… unusual colors. The runes on the underside of the triangle shifted and changed, and Akira could have sworn he heard… chanting? What was happening?

“Oracle, what are you doing?” Akira asked, his throat sore like he had been screaming. (Had he been screaming? He couldn’t remember.)

There was no response as the droning, chanting sound from her Persona and shifting lights reached a fevered pitch. Then, without warning, the metallic triangle stopped and a noiseless pulse of sound emanated from her Persona. Everything in the room stumbled at the sudden lack of noise, even the Shadow. It seemed to look around, its green tentacles writhing. It seemed… shock? Anxious? Akira could hardly be said to be an expert in its body language.

“No!” it shouted. “No human has had that knowledge in a century!” Akira looked back up at Futaba’s hovering Persona, but something else caught his eyes instead: an eye.

On the impossibly high ceiling of the cavernous room they were in, was an eye. A human eye had opened, and it was the size of the entire room. Akira blinked, and it wasn’t an eye anymore, it was a glowing, luminous ball of energy. Akira blinked again, trying to make sense of it, and the ball had multiplied, and not instead of giving off light, they looked like bubbles filled with swirling nebulae and stars. Akira glanced down at his teammates, only to find each of them also staring up at the sight unfolding above them. Akira looked back up only to see even more spheres, but instead of bubbles they now resembled spheres of flesh and blood, with fibrous tendons holding them together and black ichor flowing across their surfaces, dripping upwards.

At that moment, Akira knew what it meant to see something your mind could not comprehend.

The spheres grew and multiplied downward, each time shifting and changing, until the entire space some ten meters above them was occupied by human eyeballs, each wildly swinging about.

Then, each eye turned on the Moon Howler.

The Shadow seemed to shrink under the pressure of the many-eyed gaze. “Guardian-Gate, I-”

You have transgressed beyond your role, Crawling Chaos.

The voice came from everywhere and nowhere. It was a deafening silence that reverberated in every fiber of Akira’s being.

You can not remain where you are not permitted.

“All-in-One, no!” the Shadow protested. “If this world ends then, our kind may be free again. I have aligned the stars, you need only let me fulfill-”

You will not remain where you are not permitted.

Akira glanced down from the unblinking eyes to see the Moon Howler be rent apart, shredded by invisible forces down the green and black dust.

It didn’t even have time to scream.

The eyes turned to look at the Phantom Thieves. They all tried to prepare themselves for whatever might come next, but Akira still felt exhausted. Instead of any attack or another thunderously quiet voice, the orbs shifted again, rapidly shrinking and multiplying until there was nothing but a sea of light brown specks suspended above them. It was sand, he realized; an inverted sand dune. The sand began to fall in a narrow column in front of all of them, like it was the top of hourglass. The frontline backed away, but they were all too exhausted to put up any real defense if whatever this thing was turned out to be hostile.

The falling sand reshaped itself into a human figure. Tall, but completely obscured by a pure white shroud. As it emerged, Akira noticed Futaba touch down on the ground next to him, her Persona recalled.

“Greeting, children of men,” the white-robed figure said to them, his voice strangely accented, but smooth and pleasant.

“Who are you?” Makoto asked, standing up from behind the console.

“Do you mean to harm us?” Yusuke asked.

“I am called ’Umr At-Tawil by some,” the figure said. “And I mean you no harm. The Crawling Chaos was banished from this world, and as a relation from the other side of what you understand as the Sea of Souls, I was bound to hold him to the law.”

“So that thing is gone?” Akechi said, his sword still drawn.

“And you’re not going to harvest our eyes or anything?” Rin added.

“The Crawling Chaos can no longer access your minds, or the minds of mankind,” the figure said. It made some indecipherable gesture beneath its shroud. “Your destinies are your own to shape.”

And with that, the figure vanished in white mist.

“That was fucked up,” Ryuji said.

Akira agreed. They all wanted to talk, but no-one had much to say. They were all injured from the battle, and Akira could feel that most of them just wanted to get this over with. Futaba hacked the system controlling how Maruki gathered data, which cleared a path forward back in the Palace.

On their way out of Mementos, Futaba slipped Akira a small black business card. There were dark gray characters that looked like Arabic on one side, but it was what was on the other side that shocked him. In silver letters he saw a name:

LOUIS CYPHER The Morning Star

Akira recognized the pseudonym. He swallowed hard and looked back at Futaba, who shrugged at him. “Where did you get this?” he whispered to her.

“I think my Persona gave it to me?” she said, her brow creasing in confusion. “I don’t really know what happened. It’s hard to remember… But something tells me you should have it. Like the star Jose gave us: it feels like it’s for you.”

Akira wondered what force could possibly evade Futaba’s near-eidetic memory, and felt a chill roll down his spine considering that question. He still felt sick from the Shadow’s assault. They’d have to take some time to recuperate. Hopefully things would be smoother for them in Maruki’s Palace.

---

Nyarlathotep is ejected from the Metaverse. His no-quite corporal form that he projects from his exile is spat out on a rooftop in Tokyo, one that overlooks Shibuya. His disguise is failing, so he reverts to an older form: the man with long gray hair and a red suit, the one with the monocle.

How dare that brat call upon the All-in-One? How dare the One-in-All banish him? This is their only chance to return. There is no other way. The Crawling Chaos seethes, rapidly pacing on the deserted rooftop, trying to put together a new plan. He overstepped his bounds, directly confronting Persona-users like that, but he needed to stop them soon. It was a calculated risk, and the math is rapidly changing now. The odds of them being able to overcome the doctor and his expression of Azathoth are too slim. But he needs to hurry. This transgression will attract the attention of his opposite, and in his weakened state, he is no match for Philemon’s tools. If he-

“There you are.”

Nyarlathotep stops as he hears the voice behind him. No, no, this is not the end. Even those who rule over power can be tempted, after all. He turns to see which of them has tracked him down. The man suddenly sharing the rooftop with him is tall, with platinum hair slicked back under a blue cap. He is dressed in a blue outfit reminiscent of an elevator attendant’s, a thick tome with a mauve cover held in his arm.

“You evaded us for some time,” he says, his yellow eyes staring into Nyarlathotep’s illusory ones. “But you must leave. You were defeated and banished. Your interference is unwelcome.”

“You’re not looking at this right, attendant,” Nyarlathotep says. “You’re not thinking of the possibilities.”

“There are no possi-” the man begins, waving a hand.

“You could bring her back,” Nyarlathotep says.

The man freezes.

“Oh yes, Theodore, I know about her”, he continues, sensing opportunity. “I know your sister left her duties when she lost him, but you chose to stay when you lost her. In this world, humans’ hearts are being mended and even the dead may live again. She could return.” The man called Theodore takes a step closer as Nyarlathotep continues: “The barrier between desire and reality has never been weaker. If you stay, keep this world in place, you can finally save her.”

“And what would you know about her?” Theodore asks, his voice low and dangerous. He waves his hand, and Nyarlathotep’s human guise falls away. Where the red-suited man with a monocle stood, now there is a thin humanoid with black, stonelike skin. It has no hands or feet, only sharp claws at the end of its spindly limbs. Small red wings spread out behind it, motionless as it floats just off the roof. There is no face on its head, but black orbs set all around its head are surmounted by a golden crown made of endless spines.

“You are the darkness of the human heart manifested,” Theodore says. “You misjudged their potential when you thought humanity would destroy itself. Because of that, you have failed to grasp why she made the choices she did, because you cannot understand sacrifice. You are selfishness, greed, spite, nihilism and misery, given form. Nothing more.”

“You cannot destroy me,” the mouthless creature says, its voice calmer, more accepting. It knows what comes next. “I am undeniably part of the human heart. I am eternal. Where there is darkness, there are Shadows.”

“And to the shadows you shall return,” Theodore says, opening the book in his arms. “You do not belong in this world.” He thrusts his hand forward, and the crowned creature disappears in a flash.

His quarry finally banished back to beyond the world of humanity, Theodore sighs deeply. He looks over the edge of the roof, to the busy street below, where humanity remains enthralled. Shutting the Crawling Chaos out of the world won’t undo the damage he has done, but now he can do no more.

Theodore feels his arms grow weak. This reality has already worn him down, he can’t handle much more of it. He needs to return to his master and report. Then he and his sisters can return to their duties.

The fate of the world falls to a group of young Persona-users yet again. Perhaps that is how it is meant to be.

Wearily, Theodore opens a door back to the Velvet Room, and disappears.

#NoxContent #fanfiction #cthulhu mythos #archive of my own

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rayshippouuchiha · 2 years

Note

Hello again!, I wanted to ask some advice (I know tumblr is maybe not the best place to ask, but you seemed really wise in your responses and mature when people talk to you about problematic things), thing is I haven't been able to get over something that been bothering me for a while, so much that I stopped browsing social media and just read fanfics to cure boredom. And I wanted to ask, how do you do it? You interact with people and I have no doubts you receive hate, how do you deal with it?. My problem is, I didn't know how much hate women get on the internet, I tought it was at least a bit exaggerated, because how would some people spend time of their life's doing videos on how awfol women are, WRONG, I found a crap ton of videos of men saying that women when they reach their 30 are useless, worthless, shoukd just stior trying to date because they time has gone and are no longer beautiful and don't deserve love and I'm SHOKED on the amount of videos of this and the people that agree. It's disgusting reading the comments on how it's better to wait for a 17 old to turn 18 so they can date them. How is this posible? Can't believe people like this existed. It hasn't leaved my mind for a while and it has been bothering me, I just want to get over how disgusting people can be. Do you have any advise? Sorry for problem dumping on you but I'm out of ideas and how to stop thinking about it

Ah yes the background radiation of the internet (and life) that so many of us have to deal with on a daily basis.

The internet has given humanity the ability to share both the best and worst parts of themselves with the entire world. The anonymity, the ability to reach a platform without ever leaving your house and/or basically no matter where you are, all of it has contributed to both a spreading of social awareness as well as an ease in the spreading of hate. Most of the hateful content you see on the internet has always existed it just has an easily accessible platform for everyone else now.

Honestly, as a woman who has been on the internet for years, I mostly ignore it. Yes I'll speak out about things occasionally or when I feel it's absolutely necessary, and if someone sends me hate on here I won't hesitate to put them on blast, but more often than not I ignore it.

Because look, the truth is that horrible misogynistic/hateful bullshit exists online just like it does in every other aspect of human life and spending every second of your day dwelling on it and worrying about it can be exhausting.

I block accounts and people who attempt to bring that kind of vitriol into my sphere directly. Occasionally I report things. Overall I do my best to keep myself educated on social matters and I do what I can to curate my part of the internet so that I don't have to come in contact with the hateful kind of content that I do not agree with.

And, most importantly of all, I do not let the things these people say crawl into my head and spirit and nest there. Because at the end of the day that is what they want. They want the attention, they want the people they are targeting to suffer and they want everyone else to agree with them. I will give them neither.

But that's speaking as someone who has known this kind of thing exists and has been dealing with it for years upon years.

So again, my best advice, as someone who's been playing this game for years, would be to educate yourself but do not burn yourself out.

Be aware that, just as you said, there are horrible horrible people on the internet saying horrible horrible things. You should allow yourself to learn about why these things are bad but you cannot let the fact that they exist consume you. Block people, report accounts, and curate your own internet environment.

And if it gets to be too much don't be afraid to unplug, put your devices down, do what you need to do to unwind and feel better and take care of yourself.

#RayRambles #misogyny #sexism #don't feed the trolls and don't give them room in your garden

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i-love-hobbies · 3 years

Text

The biggest criticism Lilith's redemption arc gets and Eda's biggest strength

(ft. me getting completely side tracked and wanting a Hooty redemption arc)

Ok, so firstly I wanna talk about real life and then say how it was done in the owl house.

I hate the words "Everyone should get what they deserve." Cause firstly this never happens, secondly, the words are very vague and it opens a window of miscommunication and thirdly, cause in Lilith's case they are focused at, she needs to be hurt in order to change.

There are even people that have said that they are looking forward to watching Lilith suffer (I don't know if I've said it on the internet but I was one of them.)

Revenge has been proven to not make people feel better. And a lot of therapists usually say you need to forgive people. That doesn't mean fix the relationship, it means try to stop wishing they get hurt. Cause the feeling is only hurting you.

Also it's a normal human feeling to be angry, so no I'm not calling people monsters for this. And forgiveness is a hard process that takes a lot of work, but it usually isn't helped by hurting others.

The words people usually use to defend this sentence are:

"Consequences change people's minds or at the very least make them scared of doing it again."

Ok so how about we use this sentence instead, it's short enough and the main mission now is keeping ourselves safe Instead of it being hurting someone, you're still wishing it but it's not the main goal, it's a secondary one.

Well, cause it immediately shows two issues both statements have.

Firstly a friendship with someone that wants to hurt you but is scared of doing so is not a healthy one, cause they'll just try to be sneaky. You can only do it with people that aren't close to you like how the authorities do it towards criminals.

Secondly punishments rarely change people's minds. They've never worked on me, especially when you attack my identity, cause this way you make it even worse. And expecting that you can change someone usually means you're about to fail.

"But we can't get rid of punishments, people will hurt us."

I'm not saying we should. I'm saying our main goal should be our safety and hurting them may happen but it shouldn't be important.

Or better yet:

"Building healthy boundaries to the point where you're not getting hurt anymore, but not going overboard."

Examples:

- You have a friend you see Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. But on Wednesdays, after work, they usually are very ignorant of your feelings and sometimes joke at your expense. So you stop going out at Wednesdays.

They might never ask why you did it and that's ok, cause you're not getting hurt anymore.

But usually they do ask why? You explain to them the issue with respect, don't call them names.

Some people will change after this and you can get rid of the boundary later on.

Other people may acknowledge this and say it's a good idea, cause they are overwhelmed, but never change.

Other other people may start hurting you even more. You build the boundaries even more, sometimes to the point you cut them out of your life, even if they weren't hurting you intentionally.

Which is completely ok if you can't maintain contact without being hurt.

- Eda's handling of Gwendolyn's cures is another good one. She never called her names or anything. She just made sure that Gwen can't hurt her anymore. Cause it wasn't only the cures. Eda's feelings were always getting ignored. She literally couldn't talk with her about anything other than the curse. Her emotions were getting neglected.

- Eda's handling of Tibbles is also an interesting example.

At first after the scamming she just left him. She couldn't see how he could hurt her.

And in episode 14 she killed him. Cause he showed that he would do anything to murder her dump kids and knew their address. Almost same story with Adegast.

Yes murder in this extreme cases can be a healthy boundary.

Lilith's relationships with the owl fam

King:

King didn't know Lilith was living with them and knows about her neglect.

Luz:

Luz would only stand up for others never for herself which is very unhealthy. I don't know if she forgave Lilith, but I can see her not mentioning it if she hasn't and playing along as a teacher.

"The real mystery is how she can be both so smart and yet so wrong at the same time. Academics, am I right?"

The closest one to her she has roasted like this, is her mentor, who firstly makes people feel safe.

"EDA, You're embarrassing me Infront of my crew." - Raine, after thirty years of not seeing her.

Secondly, she was being a jerk, she was teaching Luz about cards while she was begging for magic lessons and was not getting it for weeks.

"Cards, the paper rectangles that old people think are fun."

Heck, she might even be scared of Lilith. She almost got killed.

So far I don't have a reason to think she likes her. She hasn't really talked with her or about her much.

Eda:

Eda has already shown that she can handle conflicts in relationships. Like in episode 9, where she got Luz into Hexside and everything I already said.

I made an entire post about Eda being too emotional and I still stand by it, but serious situations that have to do with relationships, she usually is very rational and good at handling them. Probably because of the curse making her afraid of her anger and countless people attacking her.

At the beginning of the series Eda probably was expecting that the worst case scenario would be for Lilith to catch her and if Lilith isn't given the time to realise what she did, she'd be killed and best case scenario Lilith changes.

Episode 5, where Lilith burned down her wanted posters, episode 8 where Lilith was gonna get her straight in the coven instead of arresting her, episode 11, where Lilith said she wanted for Eda to join on her own and episode 17, where they played grudgby.

Proved to her even more that Lilith cares a lot for her and maybe she will change.

Then episode 18 happened and King wanting hugs and Luz's "Let me die!" Suddenly the worst case scenario became not her dieing but her dieing and the trauma the kids will experience. The fact that they won't have her in their lifes.

Lilith says "Then why were you so easy to curse?!?" This does not sound like "I accidentally did this and I'm sorry." No, Eda thought Lilith did this on purpose. And now her kids might get killed by her own sister cause she was too naive to trust her.

From now on I don't think she was trying to kill her cause Lilith isn't dangerous without raw power like Adegast and Tibbles, but to disable her is a possibility.

To add to this Eda wasn't rational almost throughout the entire finale. She probably didn't pick up on the line "If you would just let me explain." Just like she didn't question why Lilith was thrown in a cage.

Then she learns that Lilith commited treason together with her kids and started feeling like she doesn't know the full story, but Lilith is still a caring person. So she jumps Infront of the beam to save both Lilith and King.

Afterwards Lilith shares the curse and has nowhere to go if she gets kicked out so there is no reason to believe that she would hurt them physically.

I know in a post I said I don't think she fully processed the situation with Lilith. But now I think I was only half right.

She didn't fully process how much she was hurt but she understood Lilith's situation. Forgave her as soon as possible, not immediately. But that doesn't mean she rebuilded the relationship as soon as she forgave her.

First of, the forgiveness part happened after episode 1. The entire episode she was guilt tripping her, which I don't think was helping the situation. It makes Lilith more emotional which then makes it harder for her to face reality.

I'm not calling Eda a bad person for this but I do think it was a mistake.

What wasn't a mistake but a good thing is Eda wasn't the one to listen to her problems, it was Hooty. Cause her emotional health matters too and standing in one room with her sister is challenging.

And now I'm wondering does Eda know about how Lilith was treated by both the coven and their parents.

Eda calling Lilith a tool, seems to me more of them competing with each other rather than the recent events. Also Lilith forcing her rules without saying why they are there.

I'm glad the episode ended with them switching roles, where Lilith is now more powerful. Though I'm pretty sure the roles are getting switched again.

So what about the rebuilding of the relationship or should I say trust.

Well they didn't show us much, but I think the trust isn't fully back.

Cause she has only been proving that she can be physically trusted like when she saved King's life.

Eda never opens up, which is unhealthy. But in this case it's a healthy boundary, cause King did it and he got Lilith projecting onto him.

Lilith isn't good at being mentally supportive and still has bad habits.

Lulu and Hootsifer

Hooty helping Lilith was something, she really needed and didn't take for granted, cause the only one to ever even consider this is Eda.

They are buddies that look out for each other. I wouldn't say they talk a lot about feelings as they have no idea how to do that, but there are examples where they do.

Like "What kind of a witch am I?" and Hooty's letter.

Her letter for Hooty, was supportive, but ignored the issue of Hooty always being in people's personal space.

Which led to Hooty drugging Eda, kidnapping three children and almost killing said kids when his plans didn't work the way he wanted. He also ate the letter for King.

I want a Hooty redemption arc, now!

#toh #the owl house #eda clawthorne #toh eda #eda the owl lady #edalyn clawthorne #the owl lady #lilith clawthorne #toh lilith #toh Luz #luz noceda #toh king #king clawthorne #hooty #toh hooty #lulu and hootsifer

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hoseokslefteyebrow · 4 years

Text

You've Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven't You? || BEN DROWNED

Pairing : Yandere! Ben Drowned X Reader

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Yandere

Summary : Appears as a normal dude, but plot twist he's really not.

Wordcount: 4k lol

WARNINGS : This is fic is labeled as Yandere, for those who don't know what it means: "Somebody who is sweet and kind at first glance. But when it comes to their love (crush)they will act obsessive and violent." - Urban dictionary, poorly (but still disgustingly) described dead people, I know Ben originally doesn't kill but in the story he does, idk? Shit written¿

Also disclaimer this is my first time I've tried doing a yandere and it's obviously not my strongest point. Hope you enjoy either way.

You glance at the abandoned game console which your friend had dumped at your place earlier this day.

According to him, something was very, very, wrong with it. The Nintendo 64 was old, of course, but your friend mentioned not being able to pass the boss battle. He mentioned something along the lines of 'it keeps glitching and Link keeps dying'. In other words ' I know you're a hacker and I suck at this game, please hack it for me so I can feel less like a loser'.

You keep writing the email you're supposed to sent to your boss for another thirty minutes, before letting your curiosity lead you.

Before you know it, you've plugged in the old console with more cables than originally planned because of how old it is, and with how modern your tv is. The first odd thing that strikes you is that there's only one account on it, and it's not labeled with your friend's name.

Instead of 'Noah', it's labeled with 'BEN DROWNED' in bold passive aggressive letters.

Simply pushing it to the back of your mind, you start playing.

The second odd thing about the game is that the game has a specific date and it mentions how far BEN, or well, Noah is in the game. Yet when you click it, you have to start all over.

You shrug that off too, simply noting it as the game being old.

Before you know it, several hours pass, and you're finally at the boss battle Noah mentioned. Deciding to see if you can beat it first, you do not plug your laptop in at the Nintendo 64, and opt to play instead.

However just like Noah mentioned, you die as soon as you're close to winning and the game starts glitching.

It takes you barely ten minutes before you're fed up with it, and soon enough you plug your laptop in. You start up some programs and open up a few sites, quickly starting to work. Your fingers glide over the keys of your laptop as you type in the codes in order to hack the game, however after a few minutes, the game starts glitching heavily, and suddenly there's a sentence in bold red letters on the screen of your tv.

' YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT'

It says before the glitching becomes way too much, and some weird kind of red circle appears. Your eyes widen before unplugging the tv and game console, forgetting that your laptop is connected to it.

You miss the small glitches on the laptop screen.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - -

He gritts his teeth as the access to his portal is suddenly denied, the power cut early enough to avoid him.

His red eyes wander in the green coded space, looking for an exit, something that'll make sure he can get his hands on whoever this is. Lucky for him, there's a small white space what'll lead to the outside of it.

Once he's trough, he realizes he's still close to his victim. In fact, he's even closer now.

He smirks as he realizes.

Killing her is fair game now.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - »

You tap your chin as you look as the items on the shelf.

" Should I get the red one or green one?" You mumble to yourself.

" I'd recommend the green one. Green is always better." A voice from behind you startles you.

You whip your head around to look at the stranger who's talking to you.

Behind you is a male you don't recognise from anywhere. And as you start to study him, you realize he's quite handsome. He's got blonde hair, blue eyes and a rosy skin colour. He's wearing black ripped jeans, a dark green shirt, along with a black zip up hoodie, which is left open, he's got a few black ear piercings in his right ear, and has a gold chain around his neck, which disappears beneath his shirt, weighed down by a charm hidden away from your eyes. To top it all of, he's got a matching dark green beanie on top of his messily styled bangs.

" What? Did I say something wrong?" The blonde boy suddenly sweats.

You smile and shake your head.

" No, you didn't. I just tough I was alone here." You smile at him.

ØⱧ ₴₩ɆɆ₮ⱧɆ₳Ɽ₮, ɎØɄ Ⱨ₳VɆ₦'₮ ฿ɆɆ₦ ₳ⱠØ₦Ɇ ₣ØⱤ ₳ VɆⱤɎ ⱠØ₦₲ ₮ł₥Ɇ ₦Ø₩.

" I take that you talk to yourself then?" The male spits at you.

You're not sure if that's meant offensive or not.

" Um, yeah? I tend to do that sometimes yeah." You say, looking down at your hands who're still holding the red silk scarf and green silk scarf.

Đø₦'₮ ฿ɇ ₳₣ɽ₳łđ, ł ₩ø₦'₮ ⱨʉɽ₮ ɏøʉ. Øɽ ₩łⱡⱡ ł?

The unknown male's eyes soften subconsciously, looking at you with an emotion you're not familiar with.

" My name is Ben. What's yours?"

Ben? Haven't you heard that somewhere before?

You smile at him, oblivious to the fact that you're talking to a killer.

" I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you Ben."

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ »

His mind flooded with ideas.

There's so many options on what he can do to her.

Should he mess with her laptop?

Should he just kill her now?

Or should he become closer?

Maybe he should.

He looks at her trough the screen of the laptop, which is almost always open, today not being any different.

He watches her as while she watches something behind the laptop, from the sounds he can hear trough the mic, she's most likely watching tv.

Perhaps he should become closer to her.

Pull her closer only to have her blood staining his hands.

Oh yes, her blood shall soon become his.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦łvɇ₴

She doesn't realize it when her laptop suddenly starts itself up, nor does she know that there's a figure crawling out of it.

He stared at her with deciphering eyes, silently wondering how she isn't dead yet.

If this was anyone else, he'd had them killed already. Their blood would already be staining his face and she would already be screaming in pain and dispair.

Yet here she was, laying peacefully on her bed. Asleep, obviously not dead.

He wonders exactly what he should do next. She doesn't know that he's standing right next to her. It almost makes him laugh.

She doesn't even know that he exists.

She doesn't know that he's here.

He glares at her before moving back into the world of codes and technology.

For now, she lives.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦łvɇ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ

" And then it suddenly started glitching and stuff. Weird isn't it?" You finish off your story as you look at your new friend, Ben.

After meeting in the grocery store, he had suddenly texted you.

Not knowing how he got your number, you got concerned, and asked him. According to him, you had given it to him yourself. At first you didn't believe him, until he told you to check the time of his first message, which somehow was indeed around the same time you were in the grocery store. After that you just shrugged it off as that you forgot it yourself. After all, you knew yourself to be a person with the memory of a goldfish.

Today the two of you met up again, for the fourth time this week.

" Odd indeed. What did you do after that?" Ben asked, acting as if he's interested, even tough he's really not.

" I unplugged it. I think I'm gonna lay off hacking for a while." You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink.

Before he could even think of a response, there was an unknown woman at your table, also holding a cup of coffee.

" Y/N? Long time no see." The new woman greeted you with a smile, sitting down beside you on the booth.

Ben scowled at the newcomer.

Ⱨø₩ đ₳ɽɇ ₴ⱨɇ ₴ł₮ ฿ɇ₴łđɇ ₩ⱨ₳₮'₴ ₥ł₦ɇ ₩ł₮ⱨøʉ₮ ₥ɏ ₱ɇɽ₥ł₴₴łø₦

" Hey, Sara. It's indeed been too long. How are you?" You started chatting with Sara.

Meanwhile Ben's anger only grew.

" My names Ben." Ben suddenly dryly joined your conversation as he slammed his drink down onto the table aggressively, looking straight into Sara's eyes.

" Sorry. Didn't see you there. I'm Sara nice to mee-"

" Yeah, yeah, whatever. Leave. We didn't invite you to come sit with us." Ben spat at her, looking at her with an intense look in his eyes.

Both you and your friend turned to look at him in confusion.

" Is something wrong with me being here? Did I offend you?" Sara asked, genuinely concerned.

Ben was fuming now, on the inside. Who does this girl think she is? First she comes to sit at their table uninvited, then she's capturing the attention of his new favorite plaything, and now she's questioning him? She has to go.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ

He heard her conversation with a male he certainly doesn't know trough her phone, using the microphone without her knowing.

According to what he knows, they're on a date. And according to her contacts, his name is Jaime. He can't find where they met, nor did he know why they met up.

But now that she's checked her reflexion one too many times, and made a pic of her full outfit to send to him, probably to mock him for not having her, ɏɇ₮, he realizes that she's on a date.

After some research by surfing quite literally trough the internet. It turned out this 'Jaime' person was Mexican, and had a soft persona. On his facebook page were pictures where he's working with animals or doing volunteers' work or overall just something where he's helping others. He found the black haired male pathetic, weak even.

In all honesty, even he himself didn't really find him a threat. Not when he looked like that and was overall just kind and bambi looking.

However, all his expectations are thrown out of the window when he hears them say their goodbyes.

" You know, I had a lot of fun tonight. You're really a nice person. In fact, I'd like to go on another date with you again." This voice was definitely that of a male's, probably Jaime.

" I agree. I had a lot of fun too." She said.

₣Ʉ₦? ⱧØ₩ ₵₳₦ Ł₮ ฿Ɇ ₳₦Ɏ ₣Ʉ₦ ₩Ł₮ⱧØɄ₮ ₥Ɇ?

" Good. Do you have a ride or would you like me to drive you home?-" He blocks out the rest of their conversation.

It appears that the good guy needs to go too.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆

" We should spend more time together." Ben says randomly as the two of you snuggle on the couch.

You giggle, your ears tinting red.

" We're already together all the time tough." You tell him softly.

" I know, but still. By the way, did your stupid date reply yet?" He asked, eyes focused on the tv in front of the two of you.

" No, and don't call him stupid." You pout, softly scolding him.

₲ØØĐ

He grins at you with mysterious eyes.

You shrug it off, knowing it's part of him. The two of you have been hanging out for a while now. Almost three months to be precise. And you two have gotten very close. What used to be keeping distance and keeping the line between acquaintances and friends, had turned into friends or something more. You two almost hung out every day, you were basically attached to each other's hip now.

After a few peacefull moments, you excused yourself to the bathroom.

Right as you left, your phone rang.

He turned to look at the disturbing sound his eyes widening at the name which is appearing on the screen.

SARA

He stumbled over the couch to pick it up, an unpleasant feeling of suprise rising whitin him.

" Y/N?! You have to listen to me! Ben is not who you think he is! He's this-"

" I'm this what?" Ben smirked.

Damn you were taking a long time in the bathroom, not that he minded.

The other end of the line was dead silent.

" Don't worry. You don't need to say anything. I'll come home soon. And trust me, once I am, you will never be able to speak a word again." He spoke, an eerie calm in his voice.

" Goodbye, Sara." He said before hanging up.

" Sara called?" Your voice suddenly startled him.

" What? Oh, yeah. But she was in a hurry so she said she'd call you later." He smiled innocently.

You nodded and the two of you resumed watching the movie.

" Isn't there a way, that we could spend more time together?" He suddenly wondered out loud.

You sighed and turned to face him.

" I'm sorry Ben, but I have a job and I like spending time with other people too. So I'm afraid not." You told him softly.

An idea coded itself into his mind.

JɄ₴₮ ₮ⱤɄ₴₮ ₥Ɇ, ɎØɄ'ⱠⱠ ฿Ɇ ₥Ł₦Ɇ ₴ØØ₦

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ

You sighed in dispair in the night air as you walked home. Once again, you were rejected in a job interview.

A few days ago you were fired from the job you actually liked. You couldn't understand why either. You didn't do anything wrong, you were quite hardworking and always finished the documents in time.

Your supervisor looked afraid, terrified even when he told you to immediately pack your bags and leave, and ever since you just can't seem to get in anywhere. Not even the gas station wanted you in charge.

" Well hello there. What do we have here." A creepy voice suddenly sounded from behind you.

You turned around only to be greeted by a man with a creepy smile and even creepier, eye lid-less eyes. He was holding a knife, making his intentions obvious.

You didn't need to think twice about his intentions and whipped your phone out of your pocket with the intentions to call the cops and running.

The killer sadly isn't stupid, and has you on the ground under him whitin seconds.

Your phone's screen crack and slides to the other side, the dialed number not pressed on call yet.

" Don't cry sweetheart. It doesn't suit your pretty face. Don't fret, I'll make sure, you'll smile forever. " The killer tells you happily.

Both of you don't realize that your phone screen suddenly lights up in a green colour. Nor does either of you realize the figure crawling out of it.

The both of you don't realize, until the killer is off you and tackled down on the ground beside you.

" I've told you before. She's fucking mine. Go bother someone else." Ben's voice sounds suddenly.

You turn your head to look at him.

This time he does not wear jeans and a sweater. No this time, he looks like he came straight out of a... Video game? He looks like Link, the main personage of the game which your friend Noah had dropped off at your place around six months ago.

Ben never told you he was into cosplaying.

Your ears suddenly tinted pink as you realized, he called you his. Suddenly you felt a little giddy, the guy you like so much might actually like you back.

The killer underneath Ben growls out something you can't hear before throwing the shorter off him and leaving.

" Are you okay?" You ask him.

He turns to you with red eyes.

Red. Fucking. Eyes.

And that's not the only thing about his eyes that changed.

Instead of the usual white eyes have, his are now black.

And even there it doesn't end.

There's blood running down his eyes onto his cheeks, as if he's crying blood.

You take a step back.

What the fuck is this?

" Don't be afraid! I know I look a little... Weird, but it's all just part of my..... Cosplay." He explains.

You ponder over it.

He's never gave you a reason to not trust you right? Or did he?

You ignore the instinct to run away from him, instead choosing to calm down and follow your heart, which is telling you to trust him.

" Come with me. You can stay at my place tonight." Ben tells you, holding his hand out to you.

You take it.

₲ØØĐ ⱠŁ₮₮ⱠɆ ₱Ʉ₱₱Ɏ

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ ›

It took longer than expected to reach his house. The whole road to his house is creepy. Ben appartly lives in this supermodern house in the woods.

Which is off already, the woods are known troughout the whole town as mystery. According to urban legends, there's creatures loving in there who shouldn't exist. Because of that, there's barely any people there. According to Ben, everything is all clear and safe, and you trust him with your heart.

You don't question him after his answer and instead follow him into the,indeed very,modern little house which is situated hidden behind the trees.

You get directly hit in the face with a copper scent as soon as you step foot into his house.

" Would you like something to drink?" He asks you as you enter his house, neither of you bothering to take your shoes off.

" Just water please." You tell him as you study the place.

The inside of the small house is more modern than the outside, with a big living space and an open kitchen. There's also three doors in the hallway.

One to the bathroom, one leading upstairs and one leading into the basement.

" Here you go." Ben returns, handing you a glass of water.

" Thanks, aren't you going to take off your make up and lenses?" You ask him.

His smile fades a bit, and for a moment you think you've accidentally offended him, but he nods with a pout before you can think about it twice.

" Yeah, that's probably a good idea. The livingroom is at the end of this hallway, feel free to make yourself comfortable." He smiles before going upstairs.

You stand still for a moment in the hallway as an eerie feeling suddenly starts crawling up your spine.

You ignore it, and instead start walking towards the livingroom.

Until the sound of something falling reaches your ears.

A sound that is directed from the basement.

Your first idea is to call for Ben, to alert him that you two probably aren't alone.

You don't do that however, because it could just be something falling off a shelf, right?

And so you decide to investigate it yourself.

As soon as you open the door to the basement, you're directly hit in the face with a very prominent copper scent. The same on you already smelled when you entered his house, except it's way too strong and there's something eerily familiar about it which you just can't pinpoint.

You silently push the door open, and turn on the lightswitch to the basement. Behind the door is a stony staircase, the rest of the basement is hidden away behind a wall. Curiosity takes over you, and you make your way downstairs before you can think about it twice.

As soon as you near the bottom, you spot blotches of red. The deep red substance is spread like a trail from he bottom stairs onto the rest of the room.

And then it clicks in your mind. It's blood. That's also the smell in the air. Was the intruder injured?

You step down the stairs while following the blood trail with you eyes.

You stumble back in fear and unpleasant suprise at the sight that greets you.

There's dead people down here. Most of which you don't recognise, but a few you do.

You gasp as you look into a pair of wide blue eyes.

Sara.

She's sitting there, eyes wide open, with cuts all over. There's big ones in her rib case and near her organs, you can even see Intestines spread over the floor.

She's obviously dead.

But how come she's here?

Ben didn't do this? Did he?

Next to her is Jaime, who's eyes are closed but his chest is rising and falling.

He's alive.

You run over to him and shake him awake, not minding the blood that's now on your hands.

" Jaime! Please! Wake up!" You say desperately, tears now escaping your eyes.

" Y/N? Y/N! You have to get out of here. Ben, he's not who you think he is!" He tells you desperately.

" I'm not leaving you! Can you walk?" You ask him trough your tears.

" I'm chipped Y/N, you have to go. Get help. Ben's insane. He's a de-"

" Demon? Mass murderer? Failure? Dead? Is one of those what you wanted to tell her? How dare you lie to her! I'm none of those!" A voice suddenly booms trough the air.

You turn around while starting to shake. Jaime tries to hold you close to him with the little strength he has left. There Ben stands, still with red pupils and black eyes, dried red streaks still on his cheeks.

" Don't fucking touch her." Ben screams angrily, ripping you all but gently away from the male, causing you to tremble against him.

" Don't be afraid my love, he won't touch you again." Ben sushes you.

Is he really thinking that you're afraid of him?

" N-no. Let me go. Do-don't touch me." You tell him, pushing away from him.

He looks confused by your behavior.

" What's wrong baby? Please don't believe whatever lies he told you.-"

" What lies?! That you've killed my friend?! That you've killed these innocent people?! That you've chipped him?!" You yelled.

" They all deserved it Y/N! They're all in the way of our love!" Ben yells back desperately, stepping towards you.

" I don't even know these people!" You say, stepping back into the wall, knocking into a shelf.

You turn around to see what you knocked into.

Wait, is that the Nintendo 64?

" They all stared at you with sick twisted ideas! They really do deserve it." He tells you.

Suddenly it clicks in your mind.

" You're Ben from the game." You state.

He nods.

" Yes bu-"

" How?.."

" You clicked my game onto your computer remember."

" It was you wasn't it? You're the reason I've lost my job. You're the reason my friends all turned their back to me." You wishper, eyes now gathering in your eyes.

You've been so incredibly fucking stupid.

He's the reason your life has turned down the drain.

" Yes. But it's good right. Now we can finally be together." He says like a crazy man in love.

Which he is.

You start sobbing as you fall onto your knees realizing, all these people here. They've all died because of you.

" Hey, don't worry my live. We can now finally be together."

ɎØɄ'VɆ ₥Ɇ₮ ₩Ł₮Ⱨ ₳ ₮ɆⱤⱤŁ฿ⱠɆ ₣₳₮Ɇ, Ⱨ₳VɆ₦'₮ ɎØɄ?

ᘜ ᗩ ᘻ ᘿ ᓍ ᐺ ᘿ ᖇ.

#creepypasta fanfiction #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #ben drowned x reader #yandere creepypasta #yandere #angst #creepypasta one shot #jeff the killer #jkjk #first time lol #idkeitherman

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with-love-ally · 2 years

Text

🌻January Dumplings🌻

Hello dear internet!

Kamusta? I know, it’s already February and I’m done with my first semester for this year. Next semester, I will finally take up my pre-service teaching and be officially “gradwaiting” (yey confetti). Wow, three years ago I was so giddy with the idea of practice teaching and sharing experiences with students. But two years into this pandemic and that feeling somehow grew a little bit out of me. :( It would’ve been nice and interesting to teach kids in an actual in-person class. Because as someone with enough resources for this new normal learning set up and still struggles, imagine for students who cannot avail the same privilege. And the amount of additional works and problems given to teachers, it actually makes me rethink “should I still go for this?” ('te reality lang talaga). I know certainty is a question, but I’m still hoping for better days. I kept reminding myself that the chance to make the world a little kinder starts with what you can offer. I’m not an angel and I definitely have financial shits to think of. I’m still wondering how far my “ambags” will go. Chariz. (I need money kadi mga mars. I have baby number 2 coming up. pls pabulong naman diyen)

Anyway, here’s a photo I saw on Facebook the other day. And it was something that was stuck in my mind ever since.

It’s not just “grief”. I think it applies in whatever we feel: from pain to passion. Sometimes, the world is bigger than what you think it is, and so are you. Stay safe and sane everyone.

With love,

Ally

⬇️⬇️⬇️ I dont have many ganaps, but here's some 2D dumps ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Baby 2 Update! I'm on my 2nd/3rd trimester na. We're planning to have a "gender" reveal this February. Does the bb number 2 have pepe or tete hahahaha I'm very thankful to my sisters-in-law (ate gina and maymay) and ate (nanay) Sharm for planning our party huhu my heart loves you three so much mwaaaa I'm so excited!!!! 😍

Pio's "House" This is Pio's tent gifted by his daddy (isama mo na rin ako kunyare) last christmas. When I was young, I always dream on having my own smol house for bahay-bahayan and Jep always dream on having his own tent. We are so happy Pio's able to achieve that dream for us. Char. Yes, I always tick off "clean and organize Pio's toys" everyday on my to-do list. As a virgo, I love organizing. But as a mom, sometimes, I just don't have a choice.

Mi Pamilia. ♥

Spent some January nights re-watching our old favorite movies.

Building and playing legos

Random singing of Encanto's movie soundtracks. Pio's ultimate favorite song: WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO. He even sings it while he poops and takes bath. 🎶 THUNDEEEERRRRRR 🎶

End of Sem. Ending my semester with virtual demo teaching in one of my subjects. Sleepyhead, Pio. Slept for almost 12 hours grabe!!! Di nagpatinag sa boses ko habang nagtuturo! (Photo below: accidentally screenshot or captured myself while setting up my phone). Also, we're finally done with the final manuscript of our thesis! Orayts.

SIX YEARS. I love you, Jep! Tuloy lang ang biyahe, mahal. ♥

😊 January Daily Bean Moods 😊

#lifelately #januarydumplings

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autiebiographical · 4 years

Note

Hi, autie.

I love you.

Um, sorry... I don't have a word to tell you how thankful I am to your comics. So if you perceive this as a kind of love confession, I'm sorry as my love see you as friends.

Please skip this to end part if you feel tired, it will be a long story from the start.

Uh... I admit I don't have a good english and my own tongue, so let's hope that my words will reach you.

I am an Introvert Feeling with autisme and I only knew it last year (I am 20 right now as four days ago it's my birthday (but I'm feeling that I still in 10 years old or older than 50)).

At first, when I'm still ten years old, I have uncontrollable emotions like angry at jokes and broke things (fortunately, I kind of controlled it now?). I kind of keep myself caged at library or my room as playing with other children will trigger my trauma. The same year, I had accident cause I saw my higher class did it and nothing happened to him. I followed him even though I kept telling me to stay away. But I remembered that I don't feel anything, like I am confused to see my teachers worried? And I went to hospital.

After that, I remembered when I was in kindergarten. When I accidentally made my friend fell of from spinning wheel (it's crowded and I am the spinner (I'm not on it)), I am confused why she's crying and only focus on the spin (kind of, my memories was hazy). Now, I feel guilty everytime I remembered that.

I felt that I'm dangerous (not only because of that), so I shut myself away from peers. Even, from my families.

Everytime, everyday, every month, and every years... I always asked myself, why I am like this... why I did that... or why I keep thinking this instead of interacting with human?

I don't know and the god answered me with one book (I realised it one year later). It was about Autism or Asperger Syndrome. I remembered that I told my parents to bought that for my interests looking and want to learn psychology (cause in the past, I met it and interacted with some? Or I was bullying them without me realizing? I don't know)

I related some in the book but it still didn't clicked my mind. I just thought, "Isn't it normal?"

And one year later... I got diagnosed for depression, anxiety, etc. It was the test online from university that I dropped out now (I don't feel anything, just like when I was accepted by it).

Not only that, I was sent by the doctor to psychiatrist cause I always said that my body feel pain even though I'm okay? (I only knew the reason after I learnt about bio psychology only for two weeks ago)

After questioning many things, my psychiatrist said that I have to test three times. One is for my iq (this was fine as I always love this kind of quiz), one is for my like or hate (I always exhausted and kind of made some questions in bland), and finally the one I didn't recognized (The answer of all my suffering but I still need help cause I don't know the feeling in the question).

I answered it all with more honesty than I would in high school (cause I thought with the brain, not feeling) and kind of shocked to my answer. It has more than one answers, as like 'how much this will happen questions'

And... voila, my psychiatrist asked me if I know Asperger syndromes?

I said maybe but don't catch the memories where did I knew the words. I searching in internet and found one pictures that related to my experiential live hoods (surprise! I am a girl). Somehow, my life been flashed around my eyes. Just maybe... I did that (the 'bullying' or imteraction I had to them) because I was kind of jealous of them, like they can be free to express their emotion because someone already knew their diagnosis (my parents until now didn't get the official result of my test (and I always thought that they think I just want some reason to be... accepted behaviour (remember... that I have to kept this thing all by myself for 8 years)). Fortunately (before I went to the new university), I had a therapy (only for four times cause money and time), kind of better now.

So why am I so thankful to you?

It's so many so I just list what I remembered now.

1. Your comics helped me to write about autistic OCs (yeah... It's kind of piled up now) and recognized that my info dumping was informations about all of my OCs (yes, I kind of remembered that) and making relation one to another characters.

2. You are one of the reason that;

I love myself,

I picked psychology course,

I know how to interact with other autistics,

I know that it's okay to be self diagnosed,

I know that I'm not alone,

And finally... It's okay to info dumping but I still see the situation first.

In conclusion, you saved my life. But why?

Oh I forgot to tell you, it's really crucial for me.

I kind of have suicidal mind, like my thoughts were step ahead of me and I saw myself jumped to the running car when I wanted to crossing the streets (in the past I kind of got hit by motorcycle and I was fine only scratches (it was a secret)) or when I was using the knife, I saw it as my skins got bloody.

Fortunately, all of that only illusion and I still kind of controlled myself (cause my lessons in school and my mother scolded me that I am important to my parents (I always thought that they still had my younger sister if I were gone since my childhood))

As I am reading your comics, I kind of had found hope in my life now... like if you can tell your comics to the world, why I can't be?

So... Thank you and I am sorry if you feel attacked or think that I only joking with my autistic diagnosis (i'm not joking). Don't worry to skip my ask if you feel uncomfortable (I knew the feeling to feel tired through a long chat in group chatroom but I can't help it).

Oh and sorry for not watching you live, cause my anxiety made me not liking to hear other my family's voice even my own voice (except songs, I tolerated that).

I learnt that if someone said love to the one their loved ones, It will came back to you. (I got it from my imagination friend, yeah... I still had them until now).

Then goodbye and I love you with your comics, see you soon😁

Thank you so much. I really don’t think you’re joking about your autism, and this message didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or attacked at all. Sorry it took a while to respond though.

I’m so happy that my comic helped you so much. Life is so scary, and confusing when you think there’s something wrong with you, and that you’re alone, when in reality there’s nothing wrong, and you’re not alone. The fact that my comic helped you learn to love yourself just fills my heart with so much joy. It took me so many years to learn to love myself so I understand how hard it can be. I wish you nothing but the best, and hope that your life just keeps getting better!

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shitplanetblog · 3 years

Text

Children suck and school bus drivers are driven insane because of it

For example.

You've never heard of Willow Village, I bet. That's because you won't be allowed to live there, because it will be a closed company town for Facebook employees/slaves only. Charming. Zucc does not have problems, he IS a problem. And so are his employees.

This made me laugh my ass off. The internet is rotting partly because of fuckheaded libertarian "digerati" scum like, I dunno, Jonathan Zittrain.

And this went by with almost no mention. I'm guessing the business media don't read Mother Jones because it's too commie-ish. This got more attention, because New York Times of course!

How about some more overpriced shit real estate? Try NewTree Ranch for a great example. "Ventana Big Sur’s rates of over $2000 per night might be jaw-dropping for most of us, but it’s Sonoma County's new $45,000 per month — and, yes, there is a 30-night minimum — “farm stay" that really boggles the mind." Plus, the old Dr. Wilkinson's Resort in Calistoga was just a 1950s motel with a hot spring. Now it's owned by something called "Chartres Lodging Group". Rooms in this 1950s motel start at $299/night.

Mona Lisa's restaurant in Eau Claire, Wisconsin became world famous recently. And not for their goddamned food.

Nothing says "The Register" like "Radioactive hybrid terror pigs".

Already forgotten: Russell Walker. His election website has been abandoned and is now run by Indonesian spammers. Jesus didn't save!

Seneca Lake used to be an ugly, polluted place. The most famous local landmark was a now-defunct Army base that was renowned for its ammo storange bunkers exploding. Now the good people of the Finger Lakes are trying to "gentrify". Apparently that includes dumping hot water into the lake, so a hedge fund can mine Bitcoin.

Howdy chief, your miserable copyrights and trademarks are worthless. Feel the love.

Odd how gay people sometimes fake research to make certain segments of society look "gayer" than they actually are.

yeah whatever blecch, The Aristocrats?

#real estate

0 notes

pen-tagon-wvja-blog · 7 years

Text

DON'T FALL(jungkook high school au)

Jungkook high school au Genre: high school au(fluff) Word count:…who knows? Paring:jungkook and reader(y/n) Summary: You are in a very popular kpop group called Krushed and jungkook is in BTS. You’re around 18(because your the maknae). You have to learn korean in order to move to korea and go to a korean school. Lets just say that going to the same school and entainment building as flirty jeon jungkook is, as you expected…..hard..

CHAPTER: 1 Part:½

Besides being half english and half korean, in the last two years a lot has happened. Such as living in LA (speaking english), to being forced to audition for bighit entertainment and being in your own kpop group, causing you to live in seoul (speaking korean). You have just done your comeback so you have more time at school; and you don’t know if that is a bad or good thing yet. You go to a school where most kpop artists go because its a overall art school which covers the subjects of art, dance, drama, photography, vocal and music. You didnt mind having to walk to school as was only a couple of streets away which is great because if you wear a mask not many people will recognise you. You knew some of the kpop artists and trainee’s in your classes and you werent in a class without your best friend, Momo. Apart from art, your favourite class was photography, but lunch time is the best.

In your kpop group there were 5 members: Yeonjoo- Leader, oldest, sensible, vocal Taeyoon- Lead dancer, tomboy, main rapper Yura- 4D and silly, vocal, friendly Happi- happy?!, dancer, vocal, cute, energetic Hyunji- vocal, dancer, sleepy and lazy Y/N- main vocal, main dancer, main face, flexible, shy, a bit of rap SIGH! You got along with all of the members but with taeyoon you could tell her anything anything and she would understand, she knew you inside out, you could trust her. You were worried about if people would like you, so you usually look your self up on the internet and people are usually nice but they all find it cute how you and taeyoon are so comfortable around each other, like when you casually just layed sprawled across her on the sofa.

Sadly you got woken up by water being thrown on your face by yeonjoo.“Wake up y/n…. sorry, i even tried tickling your tummy” were the first words you heard that morning. “Why are you like this?!” You replied with a groan while rubbing the water of your face and the sleep out of your eyes. “You should be excited becuase its your first day at your new school!“she said. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble but i’m not excited at all, if anything i’m sort of nervous.” It was true, it had to be said that you were nervous but when you said that you thouht to yourself that anyone would feel like that…its normal. “Don’t be, you’ll be fine. Here get ready. ” she declared while dumping my school uniform on my head. Yeonjoo was like a mum to the group, as none of us lived with our real mums, she took that place and made it her job to take care of us. UUUUURRRRGGGGGHHHHHH You had to wake up. As you opened your eyes, you realised that the school uniform was BRIGHT YELLOW!! just think positive. Anyway yellow could be the new fashion…….pppfftt……NO!! You decised to get it over with. At least you didnt look like a banana, it looked okay..ish. As you were the youngest you still had to go to school while all the other lazy members layed on theirs buts all day except when they have to open the door for the take-away man to give them their unhealthy lunch. You did your morning routine and headed to the living room which had hyunji laying face down on the carpet. You carried her to her room and layed her dow on her bed said bye and went to have breakfast. You had breakfast, brushed your teeth and grabbed your bag ready to go. Finally you shouted “BYE UNNIES!” And left. As you were halfway down the flat stairs you realised that you had forgotten your mask so you had to go back and get it. “ IM GONNA BE LATE!” So you ran to the dorm and back after grabbing your mask and putting it on.

《~Jungkooks POV~》

Jungkook practically had the same morning, with that he got water chucked on him, told to get ready, got ready, went, forgot his dancing clothes, went back, got them, and was late. “Well done jungkook!” He said to himself sarcasticlly.

《~ Y/N POV ~》

As you nervously tried to find the location of the school, your hands turned sweaty. Finally after a long search you found it and said “you can do this y/n” to yourself. Then you confidently strolled into the school looking like you were meant to be late. You tried to find the reception so they could take you to your class. YESSSS!! They have signs up!! You followed the signs untill you reached the counter of reception. They told you what class you were in, gave you your timetable and a vague direction of where to go. Squinting your eyes to try and figure out what the worn out signs said above each door, was a difficult task. Uuurrrgghhh they werent in any specific order, which wasnt helping. Aa-ha! You found one that looks like your class number so you knocked on the door politely and waited for an answer. You got an answer and went in. “Excuse me sir but is this class 18 because as im new i cant really read the worn out signs very well.“you said while gulping because all the eyes were on you. “Its okay, im sorry but this isnt class 18. Class 18 is just round the corner, i could get someone to take you if you like?” He said kindly and you replied with “Yes please sir”.

《~jungkooks POV~》

You werent running to school because you had a nice homeroom teacher who lets you off because your an idol. If you were really late, you would just say that there was lots of fans outside and if there wasnt then no one would disagree because people knew not to mess with you. As you casually strolled into school with no worries you saw something that stopped your movements completely. A girl. Not any girl but it just had to be a transfer student that was lost and looking really cute because she couldnt find her classroom. But this time she was REEEEEAAAAALLLYY pretty, like heart stopping pretty. And you being the flirty jeon jungkook you were, decided to go talk to her and help her find her class. Lets g–. Suddenly you felt that legs wouldnt move even if you willed them to move…they didnt. Uurrgghh why now?! You completely froze! Come on brain….ENGAGE! Then you realised that she was walking away from you…your eyes widened. She was going to YOUR classroom! She knocked, waited then turned the handle. It was like as if everything was in slow motion. You removed your headphones that were now playing sad music…typical. You knew you were a flirter and you admitted it, you did it for fun but this time was no fun, this was dead serious. You were in love… TRUE love. And not any part of you could deny it, you had fallen for this mystery girl who looks foriegn…. but what if you dont speak her language?! Aaaahh i bet namjoon hyung will speak her language… *sigh*urgh jungkook wake up you havent even spoken to her yet, GET A GRIP!! You kind of recognise her though…

《~Y/N POV~》

“Yes please sir” you replied politely. Suddenly it hit you, you were an idol thats why they were all staring at you! “Hhhhmmmmm, Ah! Taehyung! Would you like to go and take this student to class 18?” He asked one of his students. Because you were too busy talking to yourself you forgot to look around the class. You looked around the class and your eyes imediatly landed on the tall boy at the back who was asleep whith his head against the window, mouth wide open. You scoffed quietly and waited for a responce from the student that is so called taehyung. WAIT! like KIM taehyung, THE kim taehyung…from bts!? WAIT. You looked at the sleeping student and stared at his face intensly with wide eyes. IT WAS TAEHYUNG!!! “TAEHYUUUUNG!!“said the teacher obviously annoyed at the fact that he got no responce. You looked at the teacher and saw that he was looking at the same boy you were looking at! The cute kpop idol woke up with his back straight and eyes wide open and looking straight at you. You felt a bit centered so you broke the intense gaze that he created. "Yes sir?” He answered while finally breaking the gaze between you and him and looked at the teacher in question. “I wouldnt like you to sleep in my class but i would like you to take this new student to class 18 please.” He declared which you sneered at. STOOOPP! That means that taehyung will be taking me and me only around the school with no one watching us. WE WILL BE ALONE!!! eeeekkk! “Yes sir” he said with his big box smile on. To be honest you had huge crushes on taehyung and jungkook, you just didnt show it in order to seem respectful to your sunbaes. Taehyung took his precious time going down the middle of seats. But before he finished his admirable walk he banged his foot on the leg of a table. Wow, real smooth. “Ow.” He said like it didnt even hurt when he was making a face that said it hurt a lot. Reaching where you were standing he gave you a sly wink when he walked past and the teacher wasnt looking. OOOMMMMMGGGOOOSSSHHH!!!!! TAEHYUNG JUST WINKED AT ME……AAAAHHHH!!! You were silently fangirling on the inside but on the outside you were blushing sooooo hard. You told your cheecks to calm down but they didnt. You didnt have many friends at your old school, only close ones but when they heard you were a trainee they all wanted to be your friend. Typical. The reason you didnt have many friends is because you were naturally cold hearted towards new people. You probably didnt notice but you were being cold towards taehyung and you couldnt help it even though you practically knew him inside out. Back to reality. Taehyung walked past you and he purposely brushed his hand against yours while reaching for the door handle. You were totally fangirling inside yourself. You still couldnt believe that TAEHYUNG was beside you. It looked as though taehyung didnt recognise you which is good because if he did then he might treat you differently. When he was leaning past you, you took in his scent and it smelt manly but friendly at the same time. You loved it so much. After that he opened the door with ease and held it open, signalling for you to go through. ‘Such a gentleman’ you thought. You walked through without a smile and stopped outside, waiting for him to direct you where to go.

《~jungkook POV~》

It was true though, you did recognise her. You stood there thinking about how she would react if you flirt with her, but if you flirt with her she might not like it and therefore not like me, I’ll probably come across as too in her face, confident and needy so lets not do that. By now your legs could move and you could go in your classroom, sit next to her, know her name and dream about her. You started to walk in the direction of your classroom untill when you were about 5 metres away from the door you saw her walk out after someone opened the door for her. Maybe she got the wrong classroom, i mean the signs arent very clear. Then you were about to walk up to her and say hi untill you saw who walked out after her….taehyung. Dont get me wrong i like taehyung because we are best friends but this time you got a bit annoyed about him being with your girl. What are you thinking!? She is not your girl, stop dreaming jungkook. Although it would be nice if she was… YAH!! stop it!

《~y/n POV~》

After taehyung came out after you, he said “this way” and heads in the direct to your right. He leads the way and after 2 seconds he stops which makes you bump into his back. You rub your nose and look around taehyungs body to see a boy staring.WAIT!!!!! IS THAT JEON JUNGKOOK??!! OOO MMMMM GGGOOOSSSHHH!!! IT IS !! You blushed while standing behind taehyung but peaking around him with wide eyes to see 2 of your crushes. Jungkook just stood there staring but you couldnt tell who he was staring at yet untill taehyung spoke. “Oh!! Jungkookie!! What are you doing here?, are you late for the hundredth time?” Taehyung took steps towards jungkook and embraced him in a ‘man hug’. jungkook didnt say anything and stood there with his mouth slightly agape, still staring. But this time he was staring over taehyungs shoulder at you. Inside you were screaming so hard and trying not to scream outloud. [He was staring like he is in my profile picture]. AAAHH 2 BIASES IN ONE TOGETHER TAEKOOK.!!….AHHH. WAIT!! he might have recognised you as you were both kpop idols! Oh no! WAIT STAY CALM, JUST CALM DOWN CHEEKS GO ON YOU CAN DO IT. GO BACK TO NORMAL. You think your cheeks have gone back to normal so you instantly bow and say “hello jungkook sunbae, i am y/n” aaaaahhhh you let sunbae slip out of your mouth, that means he will know that you are a kpop artist. NOOO! So you covered it up with “i mean hello jungkook ssi, i am y/n”. At this piont jungkook looks really confused and so does taehyung because of your mistake. “How do you know me?"he asked piontlessly. "Um jungkook if you havent noticed, your a kpop idol…practically everybody knows you.” You answered casually. Suddenly taehyung burst out laughing at the fact that jungkook still had a shocked face on. You started to giggle too, i mean how could you not when taehyung is snorting. After all the laughter we all calmed down and stood staring at each other so you decided to break the silence. “Taehyung was just showing me to my classroom, what were you doing jungkook-ssi?” “Just going to my classroom” he said calmly. That was the first thing that you have heard his say in real life instead of through a tv screen. WoW. “Anyway…y/n… lets go” taehyung said as he put both his hands on each of my shoulders and lead me through many doors while chatting untill i said “didnt sir say it was just around the corner?” “Yes he did but we are going the long way.” He confirmed. “Why?” I asked confused. “Well truly because i wanted to spend more time with you” he said and after slightly blushing. “Really, why?” “Well because i thought you were like jungkook. 1: because you were really shy, 2: because your cold at first but cute on the inside.” “YAHH! You think i am cute on the inside?” “See? You werent like this earlier because you were cold on the outside.” “I see…. then your like a hyeena!.. 1:because your hair is brown, 2: because you have big ears and 3 because you laugh a lot!” “ummmm, thank you?…. anyway would you like to sit with me at lunch?"he asked curiously. "Of course!” Your walk came to an end and at the last step you took taehyung grabbed your hand and looked straight into your eyes. “Y/N when class finishes and its time for lunch, wait outside here and DO NOT move because i will come to show you where the canteen is…okay?” “Yes” was all you could say becuase you were still over whelmed that he was holding both you hands!!!! AAAHHHH!! *fangirling inside* “promise?” Taehyung asked with a serious face.“promise."you confirmed."okay, see ya later” he said while giving your hands a little squeeze and walking away. YOU COULD LITERALLY FAINT RN AAHH!!He was holding my hands!! You had to compose yourself before going in and introducing yourself. The rest of your classes went by like a blur and it was soon lunchtime. And as taehyung told you to do, you waited outside the class….

*TO BE CONTINUED*

Authors note: I dont expect many people to read this fanfic but oh well. I will be proud of myself for getting 1 like. Wow i used a lot of capitals in this chapter! I am too tired to finish this off so i split it into 2 parts and left it on a cliffhanger. Hehe lol😜😏thats it, im finished…😊 Ep 2 should be done by 20th February 2017 Dated: 11/1/17

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