#friendship drama

[plumspider]

Why is there so much drama going on AGHH. It’s so bad it’s ruining all of our lives and making so many of us feel so bad. It’s so horrible. I hate drama so much. Why are some people so horrendous.

Idk what’s going onnnn. Like. Everyone says a different story and idk who to believe it’s so sick and eugh.

[demonghost]

Started to cut out 'friends' that always take and never give back.

Realised I only have three friends.

Always thought I was popular, seems like I'm just easy to use.

[aita-ghosting]

AITA for making boundaries with my ex?

I, 25F, used to date this girl Sierra (24F). We broke up amicably about a year ago, and have been friends since, but in a much more casual way. To my knowledge, neither of us have gotten seriously involved with anyone else since, although I have been on a few dates. Recently, however, she's been asking to hang out more often and talking about how she misses cuddling with me. I told her I didn't want to cuddle her and explicitly said I didn't want to date her again but I liked her friendship.

She said I was "yelling" at her and it was undeserved and she hasn't messaged me since, but her instagram posts mention how lonely she is, so aita?

[awhitehead17]

Day by Day - Chapter 22

Chapter preview:

Friday went by in a slow haze. While Tim woke up Friday morning feeling slightly better than he had been during the night, he still felt lethargic and weak throughout the day and doing anything more than laying on the couch took up energy he didn’t have. He didn’t have much of an appetite and looking at screens, such as his phone, was difficult so he surrendered himself to a day on the couch napping and not doing much else.

Jason hadn’t been home when he woke up late morning. He did however leave Tim a note stating he’s gone to work and has called his school to inform he’s unwell and how he’ll be home late afternoon once he’s finished.

Tim can’t say being home sick was the worst thing in the world, if anything it could be a blessing in disguise although he could have done without the throwing up the previous night and the ramping headache. If Tim had gone to school today he wouldn’t have a clue on how to face the group about the situation with Kon. There’s no doubt that Cassie’s told the others what she’s learnt and Tim has no idea how the others are going to take the news. He feels slightly bad for leaving Bart to deal with the fallout by himself but he’ll be able to handle it, they’re more likely to listen to him than Tim anyway.

Being sick has given Tim a chance for avoidance for a little longer and he can’t be too upset by that.

[xaren-jo]

.

had a falling out with a friend yesterday over her continuous shitting on cis people (among other things). supposedly they are the enemy and are oppressing us simply by existing. yes, even those who are just living their lives and minding their own business - cuz if you're not directly helping an oppressed group, you're participating in their oppression indirectly somehow (???). it's cishets and cishets only who came up with all things queerphobic in the first place; if one of our own perpetuates that crap, it's still the cishets' fault, the poor dear is just traumatized and lashing out. as for cis allies who do put their lives on the line for us - their efforts don't mean shit, because they're an outlier, and cis people "as a class" are still the oppressor anyway, so her hatred is justified.

and when i point out to her that appointing a broad, diverse group of people as the enemy helps no one, least of all herself, that's just me being purposefully obtuse and/or a traitor to my own people. and if i keep disagreeing with her, it's only to piss her off and to attack her.

and she's a radfem, so i knew what i was getting into from the start, but this is still just so frustrating. she's such a bright, passionate young woman. how can she be such an ass.

we had both legally transitioned at nearly the same time, pretty much in parallel but in different directions, and we supported each other as we navigated that whole ordeal. it hurts because i understand why she's so angry and why she's so scared, but she just. won't. listen. living with this hatred is hurting her, but she clings to it like a it's a damn lifeline. because being a hateful little gremlin and an anxious mess is the only appropriate/possible response to the current situation, i suppose. silly old me, what do i know.

i got it into my head that i have to help her because she's younger than me, and she's trying to do good for the community, and she's broke and hurt and has suicidal tendencies, but fff. i just can't do this anymore. i feel like crap almost every time we talk. the hatred and the fear just keep spilling out of her to land onto my head. it's like i'm a dumping ground or a fuckin outhouse or something. "oh, men are at the root of all evil, they just suck fundamentally because they're men - not trans men tho, and def not you, you're cool :)", "am i passing??? fuck, i have so much internalized transphobia. how's my woman voice??? i feel like i'm never gonna be a "real" woman, i need this and this surgery", "all sex work is rape, are you in support of rape???", "it's been five whole minutes, why aren't you answering me, i feel like we barely talk anymore :(", "i'm anxious, i'm terrified, i can't get out of the house. i'm taking a break from arguing with terrible people on the internet, it's been taking a toll on me - oh wait, nevermind, i'm back to arguing with terrible people on the internet, because SOMEONE HAS TO", she keeps telling me, day after day and week after week, nothing seems to change, "i want to kill myself right now - what do i want you to do with this information? i don't know, i guess i just want some support", "i remember you told me you feel like you're being used for your money and it makes you feel like crap, i feel so bad about this, but could you lend me some money???", and after i had just told her that i was kinda struggling financially at the moment - "oh, you're so boujee, you should give me money, hehehe :P", "i know this comes off as manipulative and i feel so bad about this, but i'm gonna do/say it anyway, please forgive me", and she begins to cry. "i got it into my head that you will save me - can you please save me?" - springing that shit on me in a public place, during a smoke break at a support group we both regularly attend, girl, wtf. how am i even supposed to respond to that. "let's drop the g and the l, this is a gay exclusionary support group - hehehe, jk, i just mean the cis gays of course :P i'm just mirroring the shit that gays say about us, it's fine", and now she's a moderator of said support group. just great.

AND forwarding me a bunch of articles and videos of trans people getting bashed (including one such video of herself), with no warning, because she's been gathering evidence to make her case for immigration, and she thought she should get it all in one place, that one place being my dms - i got so upset i was close to tears, i walked around in a daze for a week. AND THEN a week or so later forwarding me a bunch of transphobic death threats she's been getting, with, again, zero warning??? not the kind of light recreational reading i've been looking for, fuck you very much.

and again, this is frustrating because she's not a bad person, but damn. she's toxic. it feels like i'm a shitty friend, abandoning her for being inconvenient, but. fuck. i can't anymore. fuck it.

[justsomerandomgay]

i really need advice!!!!!!

so my best friend is about to break up with his boyfriend (who i’m also friends with). but i kind of want to stay friends with his boyfriend and i almost feel like i would chose his bf over him. i feel awful about it. but his bf has been there for me when i’ve needed someone. my best friend hasn’t been. in fact we got in a major fight about that and didn’t talk for 2 weeks because we had band practice (which is very important to my best friend) and i cancelled the night before because i didn’t feel safe leaving the house because i was in a really bad mental place.

also my best friend doesn’t treat his bf that great. he’s kinda distant and is clearly not as in love with him as his boyfriend is (best friend has admitted to this). and at this point the way he talks about him to me is just shit talking not just venting about his problems anymore. he plans on breaking up with him in about a week or so (waiting about a week after his birthday)

i kind of want to be friends with the bf after the break up even though that might mean losing most of my friends. i’m much closer to these friends. but i don’t know… i just really like this guy (platonically!!!)

but i’m scared i’m just drawn to toxic people and his bf just end up hurting me and i would’ve lost all my friends for nothing. that has happened to me before. and the worst part is, is that he reminds me of the girl i ruined friendships for in the past. not necessarily because of his actions but people of how strongly i feel about him (platonically). i have BPD and i think this dude is becoming my FP 😭 and i’m scared he’s going to end up like the last FP i felt this strongly about. and i don’t want to fuck up my other friendships. but part of me does want to fuck it all up. part of me wants to self sabotage. and i can’t tell what part of me is speaking when i think about wanting to stay friends with his boyfriend after the break up. please give me advice 😭

[danpuff-ao3]

The Making of: Spaghetti

No, this is not a spaghetti recipe. Truth be told I'm an atrocious cook. On a good day I can scramble some eggs. Baking is where I shine.

So, no...this isn't about food. This is about Spaghetti: the story.

It's not very long. Only 1,663 words. But for me they're an important 1,663 words.

First: the concept. "Harry's friends don't approve of Snarry." It's an idea I'd long wanted to portray.

Snarry can be a bit of a controversial ship in the real world. I imagine it'd be even more so in the Wizarding World. Even to Harry's friends. The controversial nature of it is one of the many things that draw me in! And I see so few stories exploring that very specific issue.

Harry's friends love him. They trust him, mostly. They want to support him. But they won't necessarily agree with everything he does. And if they think he's in trouble...if they think he's being manipulated, or used; if they think he's being reckless, and foolish...they're going to tell him. They're not going to smile placidly and pretend everything is okay.

They know Harry. And they know Snape. Of course they're going to have a reaction.

Relatedly: friendship dynamics. Taking a step back, not just focusing on the Snarry of it all, friendship is as ripe for drama and misunderstandings as romances. People are not bad friends for having their own minds, and not reacting the way we want them to. And even if your friends are in the wrong, that doesn't mean they acted out of malice.

Human relationships are complicated and difficult and weird.

I needed to explore that. Both the friendship hiccups and the Snarry reaction.

Harry knows people are going to have Opinions about his relationship with Snape. He is aware that between his fame, Severus' infamy, and their antagonist history, there are going to be a lot of questions raised. That's why (here) they've kept the relationship secret for so long. To protect it. To put off the inevitable and enjoy their time together.

Telling his friends is the first step. And he knows it isn't going to go well. But that doesn't stop him hoping. That doesn't mean he wants to deal with the questions, the doubts, the judgment.

Importantly, Harry's friends love him. They truly do. And they don't know any better. They have their own views of Snape, their own memories of him. Of course they're shocked.

I like to believe they'll come around one day. It might not be right away. It won't be an easy transition for anyone involved. But out of love for Harry...I like to think they'll keep a wary eye on matters until they see for themselves how real it is.

I like to think that. But I didn't really resolve matters here, did I?

The first draft for this story began during NaNoWriMo 2020. I still have the original in my 2020 NaNoWriMo Scrivener file. I jumped around to various projects that year. Some saw the light of day soon after. Right Now (One Day) I wrote and posted same day. Romantic Notions I spruced up in time for December. The whole Christmas in Hogsmeade series was written and posted that year.

But for Spaghetti...I poked and prodded. I'd leave it to work in another fic, then return to poke and prod some more. I couldn't quite make it work. (fun fact: Neville and Luna featured in the original, and it took place in a pub, rather than Hermione and Ginny's flat.)

It wasn't until June 2021 that I took the essence of what I had and breathed new life into it.

Because...

Second: real life friend issues.

You may or may not know that I escaped a pretty toxic and painful fandom space in 2021. In June of that year I was neck deep in it. I had no idea, at the time, that it could possibly get worse. (Spoiler alert: it got much worse.)

At that time, I felt...lonely. Achingly lonely. The sort of awful loneliness you only feel surrounded by other people. I was overburdened; swallowing down my own pain, and accepting the judgment of others. I cried nearly every day. I was having frequent panic attacks. I was legitimately terrified of interacting with my so-called friends.

It was...a very bad time, to put it mildly.

Just keep trying, I told myself. Keep working on it. Stay strong.

They’re your friends, they love you.

I told myself over and over. That we were friends. That they cared. But so much despair was pent up inside, with nowhere to put it. My friends were too caught up in their own correctness to listen to my hurt, or my perspective.

Maybe they’d understand, if they listened. But they aren’t listening. They’re telling him things he already knows.

Talking, and trying, didn't do me any good. However hard I tried, they were determined to misunderstand me, to twist my words; resolute in their beliefs, unwilling to be swayed.

I was so, so desperate to be heard.

There was no one for me to talk to. There was nowhere safe to turn. When one is buddies with a BNF there is no where to turn. When there is an imbalance of power, you're sort of screwed. I couldn't talk to just anyone about the issues at play. No one could understand without all of the details. And when it came to our mutual friends, well...

Let's just say...no one was listening.

I typed out several messages I would never send. I have a long history of trauma associated with talking. It's hard to talk to people when your words have always been weaponized against you. And though I tried to push past that trauma for said friends, well...The same tactics my abuser used against me were employed by them. I was legitimately terrified. And in my dealings with them, old wounds were ripped open.

The mantra of "They’re your friends, they love you..." replayed in my mind over and over. And eventually I scrapped my messages and began a story.

It wasn't my story, exactly. It wasn't a play by play of the issues I'd been having. But it was my story, in some ways. The fear of opening up to people you should trust, because you know -- you know -- it isn't going to go well. And hoping against hope that you're wrong. It's the bitterness of opening up and being shut down. The irritation of trying to get a word in edgewise when people have already made up their minds. It's the temporary disgust and hatred of people you love. It's feeling so betrayed, and feeling ridiculous.

The story was always meant to be open ended, but the original version was meant to end on a more hopeful note. The original was an outsider's POV, not Harry's. And by the end, at least one of the outsiders would feel guilty for how it all plays out.

In the state I was in, I didn't have the heart to give it that much resolution.

That same mantra opens and closes the story.

In my case...I'm not so sure it was true. For months after, my own situation worsened. And never, not once, did they really hear me out. The pain I felt in June was nowhere near the agony I felt by November, when I finally cut my losses and fled.

In Harry's case...I have more hope for Ron and Ginny and Hermione. I know they mean well and want what's best for Harry. And I really, truly believe they can get there one day.

This Making Of is, perhaps, a bit too personal. But this story itself is a deeply personal one. For all of the stories I've written that have reflected my own thoughts and feelings, that have acted as therapy for pain I've been dealt, I had never, until then, written a story so intimately associated with current issues. And I haven't since. Writing is a way of revisiting old wounds. It is a way of looking back, and working through, matters that have left a scar. Rarely do I dare delve into an open wound.

Spaghetti might not look like much, but it's a very special case. Part nostalgia; for an old idea, an ongoing desire finally put into words. And part diary; a very real reflection of what I was dealing with at the time it was written.

[apollosbisexualass]

You know when you know your friends are talking shit behind your back but if you leave they’ll cause so much drama and gaslight their way into making you the guilty one so you stay kinda trapped in this never ending cycle of tiredness?

[stormyy-bluezz01]

conversation me & my lil bro just had

my lil bro: "what are high school arguments like?" me, who has already been in one singular friendship drama that involved a high school argument, but still has too drama free a life to be able to describe it: "idk."

[anonymous-secretboard]

The following has been submitted anonymously…

“Trio friendships never work. How does one work when two friends are closer and does not include the other? Let’s call them Person A and Person B. Person A can be…well, overbearing. She’s what you’ll like to call, a mom friend. Person B is what you think a good person is, but reality, she has many issues and likes to play pretend.

I am Person C. I understand the “out-growing your friends” or “sometimes life gets in the way”, but how are these two so inconsiderate?

We all began as friends due to our boyfriends. Typical. We weren’t so sure how to be close but we were friendly. However, Person A and B had some history. Slowly, Person B’s boyfriend broke up with her, and I’ll admit…he was an asshole and she was a chaser. Not her fault since it was her first love…and she was naive.

Of course, she continued to be naive as she went after older guys who…obviously wanted her body. She enjoyed it…or she thought she did. Vaped and cut. Sadly, she went through a lot. I can’t blame her. We were there for her as her friends. While Person A comforted her, I was critical and held my tongue when I was too harsh. Person B and I had a strange awkward relationship. It was as if she didn’t really want to know me, want to hangout with me, or care. She always felt more interested to talk to Person A.

Now Person A, she has ADHD. She is not on meds nor does she want to. She is the type to be a mom friend, kind and considerate. However, she makes side comments. Snarky and things that are not needed to be said. She is the type to call out others a ‘sore loser’ but likes to cheat at the same time. She’s helpless and never, and I mean NEVER wants to get out of her comfort zone. Person A is also the type to convince others to do stuff for her and…well, convince others to not do so. Her boyfriend is a pushover and since it’s his first relationship, she doesn’t take any accountability for whatever he has issues with. Even if she does, the cycle always repeats.

Although I may be close to Person A, I have grown irritated by her behavior. Even presence. I’ve stopped interacting with both A and B since I’ve noticed a pattern. Particularly, when either one would have an issue. A problem with their boyfriends (or B’s bf at the time) or gossip. It’s sad. It’s whatever, but typically it’ll always been this way. Here and there, there would be good news. By the end, just a quiet group chat.

Yes, of course, life gets in the way. Explain why Person B would always be on SC? Person A would be chatting about her classmates? Might I add how they talk more together than with me?

Boo-Hoo, I’m left out. Blame me for not trying to talk to them as well. It never felt like I belonged. I did talk to them about it. How I felt. I mentioned how I felt as if I was the one initiating the hangouts. I would be the one talking and updating them about any funny occurrence. Person A did try. Hardly enough, Person B never really replied back to our messages. I continued to communicate my feelings for a whole year. They would try and go back to the same cycle. Each hangout consisted of: Gossiping, boys, high school nostalgia, and taking photos.

It was boring. I would be the one listening to them. I dread planning hangouts that only consists these topics.

I had it and I told them it was unfair they would never try to plan the hang outs. I would be the one asking the days they had off, what days would work, and figure out where we should hang. Person A said we’ll talk about it one day during a hangout. They never did. And funny enough, they finally did press the button.

They hung out without me. I found out on Person B’s birthday. Person A posted a SC birthday story for Person B. The photo was from two weeks prior.

Next thing I knew, Person A and I were at a big group hangout and she had to leave. She said she had a sleepover with Person B. Not even mentioning it to me. I cried. I still felt so emotional about losing my friends. After a week, I had enough.

I talked to a friend I wasn’t so close to and she understood. We’ll call her Person Y. She was the definition of mom friend, but will let you learn your own lessons. The type of friend who was emotionally mature and had other things to talk to you about besides boys, gossips and taking photos. We became closer after talking more about movies, skincare, hair care and finding more relatability.

I talked to a couple, we’ll call them Person M and L. They were the type of people who looked out for another. They were real with their experiences and know how to have a good time. They had more experience than my boyfriend and I, but I was so pleased to have met others who were real.

The three of them told me to drop Person A and B, but were understanding if I was not able to. If you don’t know, we’re all adults. Adults sorta have to slowly distant themselves from undesirable people.

It was hard to accept at first because what if I was the problem? I thought hard for half the year we’ve been friends and I would cry about the issue to my boyfriend.

By the end of the day, my boyfriend encouraged me to talk to Person Y, M, and L. I realized I put my effort on the wrong people, and made friends with people who actually care more. Who actually are mature.

There is more to this story. To this drama. By the end of the day, I am salty they haven’t tried to contact me. But that is for the better.”

What are your thoughts?

[aroacecreature]

🇯🇵 Neko Zamurai - 2013

👉 No romance or s*x

⚠️ Don't take the drama seriously

This drama is all about the relationship between a human and his cat, the couples are just briefly mentioned and there's also sweet friendships along the story. Also the cat Tama-chan is just so freaking adorable! I recommend watching the two seasons of the drama and the prequel "Tamanojo goes to Edo".

Instagram: @aroacecreature

[aita-ghosting]

Might be slightly out of bounds but- was I the asshole for not staying with a friend who ghosted the rest of the group? I (17F) was part of a group chat with A (16M), M (16F), S (17NB), C (16NB) and a couple other people who aren't relevant to the story. Anyway, a few months ago, A started having some mental health issues. I know he relapsed on self harm and he often spoke about being lonely. I tried to hang out with him a few times, but we live pretty far apart and I have chronic fatigue so sometimes I was just too tired. I know A used to hang out a lot with M since they used to date, but A had moved on to date C and M was dating S. (A's parents don't approve of C so he can't see them). M and A were still friends but I guess she just wasn't prioritizing him anymore? I know M and S were hanging out a lot.

Anyway, after a month or so of this episode, A left the group chat and ended up getting hospitalized a few days later. When he came back, he had some kind of huge fight with M and S and he totally cut contact. I don't know what the fight was about since M and S totally refuse to talk about it and when I dmed A he basically said he didn't want to get into it or ruin my relationship with M and S. We talked for a little but it was awkward since we weren't that close.

It's been maybe two months and I haven't talked to A at all since then. I'm still in the groupchat though, and it feels a little unfair to A since he was going through a rough time. C is still in contact with A- I think they're still dating, but it's hard to tell since M gets really upset about any mention of A and we mostly talk through the GC. Anyway, AITA for not getting more details on the fight or not talking to A more?

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny couldn't really explain why he always answered this specific summoning ritual. It was like a feeling. One of warmth. Of a mug of hot cocoa in your hands and a nice weighted blanket dropped around your shoulders as a fire blazed in the hearth in front of you, keeping the chill in the rest of the room at bay.

Danny always lost himself in the sensation and found himself back in that stupid circle of protection with that same wierd guy demanding answers. But Danny didn't know anything about a "Lazarus Pit" or a "Pit Madness" let alone a cure for it. Even if he did he wasn't going to tell Red Robin anything after all the times he'd used the marriage summoning spell to get him here.

Earlier on Red had explained it was the only spell known to thier universe that could summon an entity from "The Lazarus Dimension" Which he guessed was another name for the ghost zone and Phantom was the only one to ever be summoned.

Danny couldn't help but wonder why...

After escaping Bird boy and his supernatural pop quiz (oh look, another test for him to flunk) he returns home only to discover his parents had seen him get summoned and accused him of being a ghost that replaced thier baby boy.

Naturalally the next time Red Robin had summoned Phantom he was angry. He was tired and dirty from being on the run from his parents, his worlds US government, and Vlad. Not to mention his own rogues gallery didn't exactly cut him any slack.

So Danny decided that if Red Robin wanted to abuse the power of a marriage ritual than the very least he can do is put his money where his mouth is.

Danny grinned and exited the magic circle, taking delight in Reds widening eyes before he lunged. A kiss sealed the deal, making sure Danny had a safeish place to stay.

After all, married couples in the infinite realms were obligated and even compelled to protect and care for eachother.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

[chuuowos]

Emo era!! >w<

[clarissasbakery]

bro who let the cat have the front seat…

redraw of this