#just fish and bugs for protein

[echosthroughthedoorframe]

I had the same thing happen to me when Zootopia came out lol.

I'd had a story idea a few years before it came out of a world of animals which had recently become sentient. The main characters were a fox and a rabbit and they were going to run around the wilderness changing other animals' minds about the predator/prey relationship while solving some curse that was spreading across the land or something.

So the vibe and visual setting was totally different and a LOT darker cuz predators were still eating prey animals. But I knew that people were going to see the fox and rabbit and surface level theme and immediately be " LiKe zOoToPiA?!?!" Or at least be like, "oh, like Zootopia but earlier on before everyone started getting along?" Which like, yeah kinda I guess. Zootopia is what I could imagine this world eventually becoming if the protags get what they want. But it sucks that I'll never be able to prove I had the idea before the movie came out y'know?

So that story got backburnered a bit, I still want to make it though.

You ever see some big budget production resemble an idea you had in high school and feel like throwing up a little

[kedreeva]

Question out of curiousity: Since peafowl are protein addicts and (try to) eat mice and fish and the like, do they also eat chicks? Like birds cannibalizing their own or another hen's chicks, or if a chicken or quail chick were to get into a peafowl pen, would that be dangerous?

I've never seen a peafowl go for peachicks in a way that would suggest they wanted to eat them, although I have seen aggression between hens over chicks, and aggression from older siblings to younger (jealous of the babies getting mom's attention). I know there are some peafowl in captive situations that have killed their own chicks (a friend of mine has a hen that won't tolerate white or BS chicks, they MUST be brown or she kills them), but I've never heard of a pea eating their own or anyone else's peachicks.

HOWEVER. All bets are off for anyone else's chicks. The first time I hatched quail chicks, Bug was dancing and begging for whatever I had in my hands, and I thought well, we're in the mouse room, she probably thinks I have mice in my hands and she's allowed to eat mice. Surely if I show her I actually have a baby bird- oh, nope. She's eaten it. Gone as quick as any mouse. ZERO hesitation on her part. So. I also no longer keep chickens (at all, but especially not) in the peafowl pens because I used to have hackle chickens (bantams) and one of them hatched a half dozen chicks... and they all got eaten by the peafowl by that afternoon. So that was the end of that. I had only had them in there because my BCM, which were BIG standard breed chickens, had not had a problem, and I (mistakenly) assumed that peafowl would not try to eat other birds that were small enough. I never had a problem with them attacking the bobwhites (probably because the bobwhites, though tiny, were full of Fuck You), but the peafowl DID eat all their eggs. All of them. I thought my birds just were not laying but no. the peafowl were following them around and eating the eggs as soon as they were laid. I tested putting one coturnix in the pea pen (hoping for a clean up crew for any spilled food), but the peafowl instantly attempted murder (unsuccessful, since I was standing over the quail) so. That's a no on cohab there, either. It's been a learning curve over the last 16 years, since no one seemed to have answers.

The rule with peafowl is definitely that if it fits in their mouth, that IS where they will put it. Thankfully, prion diseases don't really seem to happen in birds.

[reyesstrand]

If you’re still doing them Maddie, I wish you would write a fic where TK cooks for Carlos for the first time 💖

The weight of a long shift—a week of them, all spilling into each other like dominos—digs into Carlos’ shoulders as he sighs and stretches his neck and thumbs the ridges of his house key before shoving it in the lock.

TK’s been texting him most of the day, just aimless, endearing tangents about a dream he had the night before and the cheesy medical procedurals available to him on streaming, along with a smiley selfie or two, and it’s kept him upright. Upright through the back-to-back domestic disturbances; the multi-vehicle pileups. Carlos didn’t want to bug him with talk of work when his boyfriend’s still on mandatory leave, but he thinks it’s been written on his face, lately, just how tired he is.

“Hey babe.”

Tired enough to not even register TK standing by the dining table, in a pair of dark jeans and t-shirt. His bandage pokes over the edge of his collar, and Carlos focuses on it like he always does; on how much is being held together with stitches and gauze, on how quickly a life—the most important life—could’ve been taken away. Carlos’ eyes drift up to his boyfriend’s face: the slight pinkness to his cheeks, the soft creases around his eyes.

“Hey,” Carlos says, stepping in close and accepting the hug TK pulls him into. “I thought we were meeting up tomorrow night.”

TK’s gaze is warm when he pulls back from the hug and instead cups Carlos’ face. “We still are. I just wanted to check in on you tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Carlos insists, reaching up to gently squeeze at TK’s wrists, sparing an extra second to feel the thrum of his pulse under his thumbs.

“Baby, you’re running on fumes.”

Carlos bites the inside of his cheek, allowing himself to absorb the pet name TK’s been using more and more; allowing himself to wonder what exactly gave himself away to his boyfriend.

“I thought you could use a night in,” TK continues, lacing their fingers together now so he can tug Carlos further into the house; into the kitchen, which he is just now noticing has been used. “The market didn’t have red snapper,” TK pauses, his eyes flashing with mischief as their gazes lock, “but the guy told me the salmon was super fresh. It needs like, two more minutes in the oven and then we can eat.”

Carlos takes it all in: the mixing bowl full of a salad, complete with roasted nuts and segments of citrus; the smell of garlic and onion; the candlelight filling the room. TK gives him a nervous little smile as he gently moves around him in the small space when the timer goes off, filling their plates with fluffy, herbed rice and filets topped with lemon slices.

“Let me help you,” Carlos says, finally finding his voice after watching his boyfriend in quiet wonder.

“I can handle two plates, babe,” TK teases, jerking his chin toward the dressed table. “Go sit. Let me take care of you for once, Reyes.”

He listens to TK and sits in his usual chair, imagining his boyfriend in his home, humming along to music blasting from his phone as he diced vegetables and prepped dozens of ingredients so it could all come together in time. It’s a sight he hopes to come home to forever. It’s a sight he hopes to witness; to be a part of, next time.

Once they’re across from each other, Carlos’ stomach growls. He’d barely had time for a protein bar in the first half of his shift. He brings a forkful to his mouth and hums happily as flavour bursts over his tongue.

“I didn’t know you could cook like this,” Carlos admits, as the side of his fork glides through the fish.

“Well, you’re always so particular about your recipes,” TK jokes, before shrugging his good shoulder. He reaches across the table and squeezes Carlos’ hand. “I want to do this for you more. I want to do this together.”

“I’d love that,” Carlos smiles, thumb stroking over TK’s knuckles. Suddenly not wanting to hold it in anymore, and feeling brave in the golden light of their moment together, Carlos says: “I love you.”

TK beams. There’s something like wonder in his eyes when he replies, “I love you too.”

It feels like a mortal failing to not kiss him in this moment, and so Carlos does; pushing his chair back and leaning over at the waist to cup TK’s jaw in his palm and press their mouths together. Their lips move in an easy slide, and TK tastes of citrus, of something distinctly himself.

It’s kind of like coming home. And Carlos never wants it to fade away.

(i wish you would write a fic where…game!)

[sol-consort]

I love cooking, it's the only thing I've been naturally good at so far, and gastronomy is so fascinating to me. What are your headcanons on alien cuisine

do you love cooking because you're good at it, or are you good at it because you love cooking?

Asari

Element Zero infused food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Turians

Dextro based food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Quarians

Dextro based food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Hanar

90% meats, raw. Consuming something cooked is very bad for them, especially the oils or too many human seasonings, could seriously hurt their digestive tracks. Fun Fact! Hanar are one of the few species that can safely participate in cannibalism with zero health repercussions—they don't, but they could. Just a food for thought :) Some asari scientists theorise it was part of hanar culture to consume their dead as a part of a religious ceremony back in their early stages of civilisation, but the hanar have yet to deny nor confirm that. Where was I? Oh yeah, human safety... 85% inedible. With a predator as deadly as they are, you really don't want to see the type of eldritch horror straight-outta-Dredge their prey fish were forced to mutate into just to survive. But as a result, the hanar can safely consume 100% of the Earth's aquatic life! Yes, even those freaky fish, at that point poison is the hanar's equivalent of spice.

-

Krogans

Mostly consists of meats, Pyjack and Varren, and bones (their shells require tons of calcium to maintain) 70% inedible only because the human digestive system can't properly break down these items, but only 40% is actually deadly to us—the rest come out the same way they came in.

-

Drell

In theory, 50% ediable to humans. But how do you feel about consuming thorns, spikes, leather-like meat? Thought so. Blended dishes make them safer to eat, but be sure to bring a water bottle because oh boy it's like the drell cuisine has to make love to the world's most dehydrating air-fry oven as the last step in every dish. On the flipside, Drell think human cuisine is too... watery, mushy, and gooey. If they consume too much, they might even get water overdose/intoxication, which is a real thing even humans can get if we ingest too much water, except our threshold is so high, really hard to graze by it unless you're in a water drinking competition or something.

-

Salarian's

Varied with proteins, fruits, and some meat, but very little carbs/grains. They didn't need to invest in agriculture much nor selectively breed their fruits/veggies, by the time they stopped licking their own eyeballs, Sur'kesh was an open buffet of colorful fruits and juicy bugs and small easy-to-catch prey. As a result, their culinary arts didn't develop much besides the basic, there was no necessity for it. Humans can eat their sugary fruits and fiber-rich veggies, some of the bugs. Salarian food is known to trigger an allergy reaction the very first few times you consume it until your digestive system and immune system familiarise themselves with it. 30% inedible, but there aren't many options to eat to begin with.

-

Batarians

Their diet overlaps with the salarians a lot! Except for the lack of meat. The whole species is somewhere on the vegetarian scale. Their culinary arts are more creative and considered a part of their culture, agriculture more advanced, and only 10% of it is poisonous to humans to eat, not deadly, but annoying poisonous. Some determined humans insist a particular batarian plant is basically paprika 2.0, but their vision have yet to be accepted by the masses.

-

Angara

100% safe to eat, but their dishes taste as bland as sin. One serving of beige goop paste coming up! Stuff outta dystopian futuristic movies. Very rich in nutrition value... in the nutritions needed by the photosynthesis electricity-generating angara body—not so much for the plain-jane humans. So don't eat too much, or you'll get poisoned from overdosing on the wrong vitamins. Angara have shown to place great cultural and sentimental value on certian food items, refusing a plate of freshly cut fruit from an angara is akin to spitting in their face, kicking their baby, punching their mother, and burning down their house, in no particular order.

-

Protheans

You don't want to know.

Let's just say, if they've held the power to consume planets and stars, they would've already, it wasn't from a lack of trying either.

They can eat anything and everything under the sun, even you, especially you. Or so Javik claims, and since he's your only frame of reference, you really don't want to put this theory to the test.

Although... he still acts queasy around pineapple juice. He claims it's not because he can't consume it, but for some other personal reason, he would rather not disclose.

-

Geth

Element zero based engines and hydrogen fuel mostly, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Vorcha

Man I don't fucking know what they eat, they scare me. Your mom or something.

-

Humans

Oh my god 100% safe to eat who would've thought, we need to throw a party someone go invite lady gaga.

This is more of a reverse list of what percentage of our food is safe to eat when it comes to galactic species.

Quarians, turians, and Volus can't eat any of our stuff.

Turians can enjoy our alcohol, but quarians can't for some reason.

Hanar enjoy our sushi. The rest is a no-go, but in theory, they can consume the raw meat of any Earth animal... maybe even us included.

Salarians absolutely adore human dishes and our varied cultures of culinary arts. A salarian can eat almost everything a human throws their way, except for a selection of a few items. One of the few species that can handle our seasonings and cooking oils just fine. Except for spiciness. They actually think our desserts and candy are not that sweet, well, in comparison to their sugar-rich Sur'kesh fruits.

The galactic species as a whole are weirded out by our obsession with milk and its incorporation into cooking—there were even plans to incorporate that fact into propaganda smear campaigns against humans by turians in the late stages of the First Contact War if things kept escalating—The thought of using the fluid meant for babies in cooking didn't even cross their mind, until they met us and were briefly horrifed. It simmered down into mild concern after they tasted a cake for the first time.

As a whole, no other alien species had a positive reaction when introduced to spiciness by enthusiastic humans, lots of masochism accusations thrown around.

A lot of them hate our more acidic fruits as well, because it digests them back faster than they can, especially pineapples that have yet to be safely consumed by a species other than humans.

On the other hand, enjoy this mental image a galactic murder mystery with an open can of pineapple slices as the chosen murder weapon, hanar detective and their elcor Watson-like helper that acts as the window for the readers to observe the world from. Homoerotic subtext sprinkled between these two throughout their journey.

[faun-the-fawn77]

Prologue - "𝕎𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀"

"True that I saw her hair like the branch of a tree A willow dancing on air before covering me" ☆.𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊.☆ Word Count: 1.5k Chapter Warnings: Blood, swearing Note(s) at the bottom! <Next: Chapter 1>

It was a rare sunny day in the little town of Sitka. While the heat barely reached 65 degrees, it was still hot enough for the residents to feel sweat accumulating amongst their skin. The seagulls were circling above, screeching with annoyance at the lack of fish surfacing. Boats heading in to unload and others heading out to set gear and bring back what they can get. Sitka was a small town with a population of a little more than 8,000. Sadly, it was tourist season so all of downtown was crowded with out-of-state people looking for souvenirs to bring back. Since everyone was busy, that meant most trails(besides Totem Park) were more open.

Y/N was busy putting together her hiking pack for her trip up Thimbleberry. She wanted to make it up to Heart Lake for lunch and rest for a bit before coming back down for the day. The essentials she usually has on her were:

Phone, battery pack with charging cables, headphones, water bottle with more ice than water, protein bars, bug spray, bear spray and whistle, a speaker, a pocket knife, a first aid kit, and a change of clothes.

This time, since she was going to be gone for longer than normal, she had also added her iPad with the stylus, a lunch box that had more than just the protein bars, one more set of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, a hoodie and a blanket big enough to sit on.

She made sure to tie a rain coat around her waist in case it decides to rain(it usually does 360 out of 365 days a year). While the weather app on her phone did say it was going to be cloudy with sun all day, rain has a tendency to show up when unwanted. She sprayed herself with the can of bug spray to avoid any pesky mosquitos from biting her, making sure her hair was out of the way.

Her outfit for today was a thick strapped tank top and sports bra, thermal leggings underneath cargo pants, thick socks, and chunky hiking boots. She double checked her pack, making sure her pocket knife was in a pocket on her pants, and that her water bottle and the bear spray were easily accessible. Her bluetooth speaker was hooked onto her backpack and fully charged.

She huffed as she picked up the pack and lugged it out her front door. She made sure her cat was fed and had plenty of water before she took off for her day trip.

"I'll see you later, stinker." Petting the feline, she stepped out and locked the door to her house.

The house itself, while not that amazing outwardly, meant everything to Y/N. It's been standing from the early 1800's and passed down throughout generations in her family. Making sure the knob couldn't turn, Y/N picked up her gear and headed towards the Jeep Wrangler sitting in the gravel driveway. She unlocked the vehicle, stuffing the pack into the passengers seat, and closing the door.

The drive to Thimbleberry was bit long for a town that only had 14 miles of road from one end to the other. The scenery passed by in a blur of green and blue, the trees swaying and the ocean waves crashing against the shore. The concrete structures of whales in Whale Park were being climbed upon by kids and finally the lot for Thimbleberry was seen. Two other cars were parked closest to the entrance which Y/N paid no mind to.

Walking around the front of her car to grab her pack, Y/N unpocketed her phone to connect it to her speaker. Usually playing something loud was enough to scare off any of the bears who decides to wander too close to the trails. Putting on her 'Classic Rock' playlist, she grabbed her pack and hoisted it up on her shoulders, making sure to tighten the straps.

The walk through Thimbleberry was scenic and relaxing. Y/N stopped a few times to take pictures of whatever she found interesting and what she'll probably draw later. She picked a handful of salmonberries to munch on as well. Finally, Heart Lake was in her sights. It was a huge lake surrounded by evergreen trees. The water was clear and you could see the bottom full of colored rocks. A wooden dock was built out a few feet from shore and a two person boat with oars was tied to a pole on the dock.

Y/N walked a bit more till she found a small grassy area near the lake shore. A giant spruce tree was at the edge of the small grass area and that is where she shucked off her pack and crouched down. Unclipping her blanket, she rolled it out to sit on.

"Maybe I can nap for a bit before heading out..." She mumbled to herself. She kept an arm looped through one of her pack's straps and settled against the thick trunk of the tree. The speaker was blasting out the song 'Highway to Hell' as she fell into a deep sleep.

The feeling of falling was what abruptly woke Y/N up. Her brain didn't seem to register the fact that she was free falling through the air until she tried to sit up. A scream tore through her throat as wind whipped by. Her arms immediately clutched the closest thing to her, her hiking pack. Closing her eyes, she hoped this would be a quick and easy death. Unfortunately for her, she didn't die. Her back was cut up by the smaller branches of the trees she is currently crashing through.

Her spine made contact with a thick branch and she could feel the wind get knocked from her lungs. Letting the hiking pack go, she curled up and landed roughly on the forest floor.

Breathing was difficult, but she pushed herself up to sit. She looked around to see if she could identify where she was, assuming she was still in her small town in Alaska.

It was dark. Looking up, she could see the full moon glaring back down. The stars were a lot clearer and twinkling against the dark blanket of the sky. The forest she was in was quiet. Actually, it was suspiciously quiet for someone who grew up surrounded by the woods.

Reaching for her pack, Y/N dragged it closer towards her and opened it. She grabbed the green kit full of medical supplies, opening it, and grabbing the bundle of bandages. She could feel the blood from the cuts on her back drying against the tank top that was surely shredded to pieces.

Taking off the piece of clothing was a chore itself. Her arms and torso were screaming in pain as she slid the torn up fabric off of her. She wrapped the bandages around her as best she could, stuffing the tank top into her pack for extra bandages in case.

Armed with only her pocket knife and gear, Y/N got up. Grunts of pain escaped her chapped lips and she could taste metal in her mouth, whether that was from blood or her tongue piercing, she did not know.

The song 'Paradise City' was now playing through her speaker. She almost forgot that she was supposed to be at Heart Lake. No sign of water nearby and no critters making noise was heard.

Y/N huffed, dragging her feet through the broken branches on the ground. Her brows furrowed as she listened intently for any kind of noise. The lack of forest fauna was concerning to her. There wasn't even any buzzing from mosquitos. Walking further into the dark woods, a faint screaming could be heard.

That was definitely human. Y/N picked up the pace, gripping her pocket knife tightly in one hand and the other was holding onto the strap of her pack.

The yelling intensified as she got closer. A spark of hope burst into her chest and now she was running. Closer and closer she finally broke through the trees into a clearing where a boy with burgundy hair was on the ground covered in wounds and a child, no older than 12, was glaring at the boy.

"What the fuck."

The two turned towards the foreign voice. Y/N stared back as she took in the scene. That's when she noticed the appearance of the 12(?) year old boy who was definitely not human. Everything about him screamed supernatural. Looking closer, she could see something printed in his eye.

"Sorry to interrupt but, do you two know where the fuck I am?"

The two slow blinked and, faster than Y/N could see, the white haired boy shot his arm out at her. She could feel something wrap around her. Her body was now hanging upside down with the blood rushing to her head.

"Your fight is with me! Leave her out of this!" The burgundy boy lunged at the kid, katana drawn and ready to hack the kid's head off in one swipe. Y/N almost passed out from shock. What language was that? And katana's?! Why is he attacking that kid?!

Wait...

Squinting her eyes, she took in the faces of the two.

Well, shit. She fell into Demon Slayer.

PROLOGUE IS DONE!!!! Hope you guys like this! I'm looking forward to writing this story!

TAGLIST:

@eris-rose-86

[minimechacowboy]

Such a unique idea to have Tsmugi be a mimic octopus!! But, that also made me think of something.

So, I know that there are some characters that are carnivores. But, how do they get their proper protein?

Like, compared to other anthrofied universes, what does this compare best to? My original idea was Zootopia, but they eat fish in that universe, and aquatic animals are personified. Is it like Beastars rules, where sea animals can also speak, but are more lenient with meat eating (but bugs aren't personified so idk). Or, is it Bojack Horseman rules, where it doesn't matter if it's personified, animals are still eaten.

Or do they just use meat substitutes?

(Sorry if this is a loaded question, I just really like world building)

Mmm to me they more just look like animals then if they actually ARE animals, so yeah I think it kinda falls into bojack horseman logic,

I drew most of the characters with five fingers and the bird characters kinda don’t have wings just a bird head lol

[radiantrookie]

Entrées Flavor Texts:

A good meal is like a good caper-throughly planned, well-executed, savored, and satisfying. You come away feeling fulfilled. Now, whether that means a fully belly, a full heist bag, or a backup drive full of secrets...that's entirely up to you.

Tails's Adabat Griller

I discovered this dish while traveling with Sonic on yet another adventure to save the world. You can never go wrong with a skewer, and this one showcases all the local delicacies in one ho. Thanks to Big's adviice, I added a bit of fish, too!

The Knuckles Wrap

It doesn't matter if you're searching through Pumpkin Hill, Wild Canyon, or Aquatic Mine, this wrap is just satisfying. You'll keep coming back to it and be thinking about it long after it's finished.

Rouge's Spiral Roast

I don't do anything small. My spy ops need to be thrilling. My jewel heists can't be for mere trinkets. And when I sit down to dine, I need something exquisite and robust. Never settle for anything less than the best, my darlings.

Eggman's Eggs-Quisite Lunch

A man of my genius and work ethic needs a hearty lunch to get me through the day. This hefty helping of omurice and tempura is more than enough to satisfy me. That is, of course, because I'm inspired by its plotting grin before I dig in. That is the (replicated) smile of a genius.

Trivia: This appears as an edible item in Sonic Unleashed.

Eggman's Master Meal Plan

If I'm to maintain my signature feared figure, I need a steady supply of protein and calories. I've mastered the art of fry cooking, and thus my bountiful box of golden fried goodness comes out perfect every time.

Vector's Garlic Collector

Aw, yeah! A meal fit for a king, I tell ya! Each slice is as good as the last. Every time you finish one, you'll say, "I want one more" until it's all gone! 'Course that happens a lot faster when a couple of freeloaders decide they are hungry after all and muscle in on dinner.

Vector's Tangled leads of a Delicious Mystery

Now this is where you go when you want to load on carbs when you aren't loaded. It's simple, it's cheap, it's filling, it's cheap, and you can dress it up however you like. Also, it's cheap! Just because you can make it easily doesn't mean it's low quality, though!

Espio's Hidden Truth

Like the ninja, the onigiri hides its true nature deep within--it's delicious, hidden nature. Its unassuming appearance can even fool the uninitiated. And like a well-trained ninja, it is versatile. This is my preferred recipe, but onigiri can be filled with almost anything.

Froggy's Fortune

I go fishing with my pal Froggy all the time. He's a big eater, so I catch lots of fish. He only eats bugs, though. More fish for me, I guess!

[mutipede]

wait wait wait you can keep diabolical ironclad beetles? are there any recommended sources on their care? i've been considering what kind of invert to keep as a pet lately and i had no clue you could keep those

Yeah! There's a load of desert beetles that have the same care requirements, and they're... ridiculously easy. I basically got a glass terrarium with a mesh lid, a heat lamp (I think the one I got was a zoo med nano, gets the basking spot a few degrees above room temperature, not even necessary unless your home is colder than average but they like it and it makes them more active) - and then just give them fruits & vegetables and beetle jelly for moisture and nutrients, and fish food pellets or dead bugs for protein every few days. It's great.

I got mine from Bugs in Cyberspace and he has a youtube channel with a bunch of good info about setting up terrariums and taking care of various bugs.

Clint's Reptiles and Aquarimax Pets are great resources too 8]

[neonblessing]

1.

The cats were fighting, and Maggie was singing to them. It was Tater's birthday, apparently. How wonderful.

Shiv cracked her eyes open. The ceiling looked like shit: the paint was peeling, and there was some sort of stain spreading from one corner. The harsh morning light of the street lamps streamed into the room through the busted shade, casting crooked bars of shadow across the room.

The rest of the house looked worse than the ceiling. The cats had left scratches on everything they could reach, and time and neglect had left their marks on anything the cats couldn't. The furniture all looked out of place, collected over decades and haphazardly repaired.

From somewhere in the mismatched house, Maggie was babbling to her cats. "Come on, Candy. Share the fish with your brother. It's his birthday. Share the fish with the birthday baby!" Potato Chip's mournful wail filled the air, accompanied by the sound of chewing and a wary hiss.

Shiv sat up, wincing. She wrenched her head from side to side experimentally, to no avail. Rubbing her neck, she awkwardly swung her legs off the couch and stood up. Shiv picked her way over to the kitchen, for once managing not to stub her toe on the cabinet that protruded into the door frame.

"Morning, Mags."

Maggie jumped as Shiv spoke. "Oh, good morning! I made coffee." Maggie was fucking old. Her eyes were older than Shiv: they were some vintage shit, with protruding lenses that stopped her eyelids from properly closing. An awful little part of Shiv figured their value was somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 grand from an avid collector.

"Where'd you get the fish?" Shiv took a mug off its hook and poured herself some lukewarm coffee. The slogan on the side of the mug demanded silence, at least until the bearer had finished their name-brand coffee. The winking face of a defunct coffee logo grinned up at her as she took a sip.

"A trader's in town, just for the day. Some sort of pilgrim."

"Anything else good?"

"Protein bars, holy symbols, ID chips, and..." she looked around, as if Shiv hadn't swept the place for bugs last week, and dropped her voice. "...ammunition. No guns."

"What did you give him?"

"Some of the kitchen knives."

"You gave him knives for a fish?"

Maggie wrung her leathery hands nervously. "It's Potato Chip's birthday! Besides, they were getting dull."

"You have a whetstone!"

"I don't know how to use it right, and you..." she trailed off, but couldn't stop the glassy lenses of her eyes from flickering to Shiv's shoulder. Or rather, to where her shoulder used to be. Maggie swallowed, her gaudily-dyed hair bobbing in distress.

"I could have taught you! And Tater didn't even get to eat his fish." A contented Candy Bar wound her way about Maggie's legs, purring. Maggie opened and closed her mouth a few times, but said nothing.

Shiv wordlessly grabbed her bag off the couch. It still smelled like the factory that made it, even after a month. Much as it irked her to waste money–she’d already owned a perfectly serviceable bag–this one had velcro. Zippers were too much trouble these days.

She tore it open to behold the extent of her worldly possessions. A change of clothes. Her knife, the one Raz had given her. Rope. A pack of bandages. Disinfectant. Four days of nutrient bars. A wallet, empty save for a credit card and a few coins. A well-worn prayer tablet. A needle and a spool of thread. A ballpoint pen. Content that everything was where it should be, she closed the bag.

Shiv swung her bag over her good shoulder, then fumbled with the doorknob for a moment, nearly dropping her mug. Maggie took half a step forward as if to help, but whatever she saw in Shiv's eyes kept her rooted in place. Shiv pulled the hood of her coat up over her head, and turned to leave. "I… Sorry. I'm going out. Be back by midnight unless I get shot."

Next Page

[altocat]

I'm kind of down today. do you have sephcanons for me?

Hope you feel better soon, anon. And of course.

Sephiroth requires a steady degree of protein in his daily diet. His Jenova-influenced traits have made it a mandated MUST in order to keep him at peak strength. Since Hojo believes he needs to keep Sephiroth off of red meat for health-related reasons, Sephiroth's meals mostly consist of lean meats or fish.

Sephiroth is regularly invited to attend major SOLDIER parades in Junon. He comically ditches almost every single time, never onscreen for more than a few minutes.

When Angeal's gardening tracks bugs indoors, Genesis shrieks and gets a broom. For the bugs AND so that he can hit Sephiroth with it when Sephiroth immediately stoops down to admire the nasty pests.

Sephiroth has been blinded before by his enemies during a particularly nasty confrontation on the battlefield. His opponent foolishly believed that this would render him useless in a fight. To everyone's collective shock and horror, Sephiroth's unnatural eyes merely regenerated minutes later.

Sephiroth's least favorite food is eel. Even as an avid lover of sushi, he refuses to eat eel under any circumstances.

Hojo has various trackers on Sephiroth at all times, most of which Sephiroth doesn't even know about.

Sephiroth genuinely doesn't understand how Rock-Paper-Scissors works and all attempts to explain it to him have resulted in him perceiving it to be a challenge to fight.

Sephiroth has an instinctive sensitivity to bright lights. There's always an automatic fear response that wells up inside of him whenever bright lights flash in his face. Fortunately, he has long since learned how to conceal his reactions.

Fire is the ultimate weapon for Sephiroth, far more than his sword. He views it as something sacred and powerful, worthy of respect and reverence. It's the great destructor and the great cleanser--it ends life and yet makes room for new life to sprout from the ashes. His torching of Nibelheim is just as symbolic as it is cruel. Sephiroth believes this to be his reawakening of sorts. Burn down the person he was to begin anew.

[escapismmaxing]

skywing redesign + headcanons

birds of the sky,,.,

physical traits

small little fellas, in order to be the fastest fliers they are the smallest of the pyrrhian tribes! but still bigger than the pantalan bugs

most of my headcanons really just focus around making them more flight focused

i know it’s canon that they have huge wings, but i make their wings fucking huuuuuuuge like their wings are discounted when scaling their size in relation to other pyrrhian dragons but if it wasn’t, they would be “bigger” comparatively

also their wing membrane stretches partway down their tail in order to really catch the air

their shoulders have locking mechanisms like albatrosses perhaps

also,,, for aesthetic purposes,, i think they have those little butterfly tail things like swallowtails or luna moths

they have short tails so less drag is created

their horns are very long and branching, but they bend back and tend to follow the curve of the spine/neck so that they don’t stick out and create excess drag when skywings are flying

this one exists in theory more than in drawings,,, but they would have those faceplates that owls/hawks/birds of prey have that angle air into their ears in order to hear better when they're flying

they have relatively small/thinnish bodies, with honeycomb structured bones (i really just redesigned them around flight tbh)

they don’t really have “spines” but they have plated scales that can be ruffed up around their neck

colors have a huge range, basically any color the sky can be a skywing can be, but i think maybe their eggs only hatch during the daytime? so they don’t overlap with nightwings in color a lot

i think reds and oranges are perhaps still the most common? but blues, purples, yellows, and even pinks aren’t unheard of

i also think their scales can match the cloud formations during their hatching

culture and societyyyy/ family structure 

skywings have family units! not really nuclear families how we’d think though because i really hate limiting fictional dragons to a western understanding of family structure

however i do think fewer partners are involved, like 2-3, raising their hatchlings under one roof

still a strong community, but with dragonets returning to one house for the night

i think there’s certainly a “town” daycare somewhat that young dragonets will go to and be communally watched over

however skywings are comparatively more fractured than other tribes due to their home in the mountains, so it’s somewhat small pockets of dragons all looking after one another scattered through the mountains

as for school,, i think skywings have a stricter, more academic schooling model closer to what icewing schools are like? learning a variety of subjects in an academic setting rather than learning the family trade from the family

there are still skywings who have a family trade such as farming (herbs, root vegetables) and artisan trades like metalwork and glasswork. but these artisans often take in apprentices rather than raising their kids to be their apprentices

farming is pretty common because skywings don’t eat a lot of meat! in line with the whole,, bird,,, fast flying,, etc, they have to digest lightweight things that are still high in protein, so they eat a lot of seeds and leafy greens

they don’t eat a lot of “heavy” meat like cows, pigs, etc, and they tend to avoid eating birds at all. some skywings do eat fish and rabbits though

skywings also have a pretty strong hierarchy within the castle that degrades pretty fast outside of the castle

although this begins to fade as queen ruby takes over

there wasn’t the circle system exactly, but it was very clear who scarlet favored, and the favorings of the queen directly correlated to jobs and housing given within the castle walls

this falls apart outside of the castle, where towns are generally kind

skywings have a lot of festivals/celebrations surrounding flying, racing etc

adrenaline seeking skywings will have crazy dangerous flight races through precarious pillars of rocks

on the topic of sports, falconry is super popular and falcons and other raptors are considered holy by basically all skywings

on certain days, festivals will be held where skywings decorate their wings with beads, thin fabrics, jewelry, feathers, ribbons, etc, and flaunt their wings, perform some tricks, etc

flutes, pipes, and wind chimes are very common for music! generally just any using wind to make noise instruments is common, like an ocarina!

another example of me making music more present in the world,,, many skywings can learn simple ish wind charms that give them semi control over the wind, while this is helpful during flight, skywings also use wind charms to essentially play the mountains as a huge instrument!

of COURSE skywings speak with hoots and chirps and tweets and basically any bird noises. like any and all bird noises. which meeeeannsssss skywings can also be really good mimics! not as good as rainwings but still very good at mimicking animals and other tribes

fashion and jewelry

alpacas are very common in the mountains, so spun wool fabrics are very common! shawls and coats and capes are very common

skywings have very diverse jewelry since the mountains give them access to a lot of metals and gems, but a lot of this jewelry is for royals and nobles, and commoners tend to wear simple metal bands and piercings 

a lot of trade happens so thin, silky, gauzy materials are used for drapes and shawls

basically, a lot of fashion (especially closer to royalty and nobles) would be very inconvenient to fly in

and fashion for commoners is a lot more focused on wooly shawls and scarves to help skywings stay warm since they’re silly little guys living in the peaks of mountains

religious-y superstitions 

so. much. bird. idolization

there is somewhat of a bird hierarchy but at the same time all birds are good birds

a very common religious “pilgrimage” for skywings is traveling around the continent and going birding. making and keeping birding journals. 

multiple jobs revolve around the upkeep of birds, especially in the palace, there’s multiple different sectors that house exotic birds and are dedicated to the care of those birds

falconry is very common, as is all bird keeping

they’re not really considered pets as much as they are companions

when a dragons companion bird dies, it gets a skywings funeral since skywing and bird souls are considered to be one in the same

if you see a bird and the bird sees you it means fate has turned her wide eyes unto you. if the bird doesn’t see you it means fate passes over you (for now, it always comes back around)

scrying with feathers

like skywings will have bundles of feathers and then scry by asking questions and throwing the bundle of feathers onto the ground

the answer depends on the orientation of the feathers

since skywings burn bodies, but bones don’t burn, they keep the skeletons usually in very fancy clay urns

this wasn’t happening during the war with ruby, so there’s currently a huuuuuge project within the kingdom of recovering the skeletons and trying to match the bones to put them in an urn

it’s very slow moving work but dragons also think it’s essential

there’s kind of a paris esque catacombs being created under the castle where all the urns are ending up, but dragons are trying to make it look a lot more lively

gems embedded into the walls, skylights when they can, etc

skywings do the same thing with bird bones! especially the bones of companion birds

the birds bones will be kept in their own urn until the dragon dies, at which point an urn big enough for the bones to be mixed will be produced

also,, in line with wanting to make magic more prevalent in all the tribes outside of animus,, skywings being bonded with birds will extend the bird’s lifespan 

the bird wouldn’t get the dragon’s lifespan, but a blue jay would live to be ~20ish rather than 7 years

also (random but related to birds) some icewings were freaked the fuck out by skywings because icewings consider birds to be BAD LUCK. icewings who live not in the castle, but a little bit north of the more populated border, do sky burials with their dead because the ground is too hard for graves. so these icewings consider carrion birds to be kind, but also omens of impending death, so when they roll up to the skywing kingdom and some fuckass has a black culture absolutely chilling there’s a lot of 👁👁

i think skywings can be super cool and interesting but i do kind of struggle to spice up their designs,, bc i dont like drawing feathers. maybe one day ill learn! idk. but i think theyre funky fresh

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Tobi:

How long do you boil water for hard boiled eggs?

How long do you boil eggs for soft boiled eggs?

Is there a thing like medium boiled eggs?

Do we have eggs?

Where are the eggs at?

Have you seen my cloak?

Have you seen my gloves?

Have you seen my sandals?

Have you seen Zetsu today?

You left your piece of pie in the refrigerator for 3 days can I eat it?

Do ladybugs have toes?

((early morning)) Do you ever think about how we’re all just wiggly spirits wearing suits made of skin and bones and teeth and hair?

From Hidan:

Fucking Kakuzu getting on my fucking nerves today!

Wanna go half on a pizza?

Ditch that mission with the puppet, it’s hot let’s go swimming.

My shampoo is half gone let me find out it was you who used it asshole!

Did u see how Uchiha limped outta the shark’s room 😏?

I accidentally took Konan’s bra from the laundry room n now I’m scared to give it back bc she’ll beat my ass like last time 😓.

From Itachi:

Did you take my face cream?

Did you take my lotion?

Did you eat my dango from the fridge?

Do you have the $20 you owe me?

Where did you put my sandals?

Are you the one who left that drawing of me and Kisame on the bathroom door?!

From Obito (using a fake number):

You’re so beautiful.

That puppet doesn’t deserve you.

I would treat you like a king.

I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.

Every time I see your face my heart sings with joy and pain. Joy from the miracle of your existence, pain from knowing I will never have you.

What? No! Who is this “Tobi” you speak of??

From Konan:

Face masks tonight?

Made brownies you want one?

Can you come help me paint my toenails?

Did you borrow my leave in conditioner?

Quick come to my room I have some hot “tea” from Konoha !!

From Kakuzu:

Rent’s due.

You either kick in for your share of the utilities or I’m cutting your lights off tonight.

You and Hidan get your asses downstairs and clean up all this mud you tracked into the house!

Start picking up your food and drinks or I’m putting you outside. You are attracting ants. We can’t afford the bug guy again.

If I step in one more wad of clay I’m throwing it all in the trash!

Please cease your attempts to set Tobi on fire. We can’t afford hospital bills OR a lawsuit.

Fuck no. I can barely feed you little brats. A dog is out of the question!

I just got this months phone bill. STOP PLAYING ALL THOSE DAMN GAMES BRAT! That phone is for BUSINESS COMMUNICATION only!!

From Nagato: 

Where’s your mission report?

Mission report due IMMEDIATELY.

We need to talk about the grievances Tobi has brought to my attention.

Don’t lie: were you and Hidan the ones who put black hair dye into my shampoo bottle?

Stop giving our address to food delivery drivers. This is a HIDEOUT. We are supposed to be laying low.

From Zetsu:

The next time you decide to set off a bomb in a public place can you be considerate enough to ASK whether I was planning on eating any of the people first?! 

From Kisame:

Come help me scale these fish and you can have some when I cook them.

Like a double date? Sure. But only if you swear to be nice to Itachi.

No. Samehada is not a toy.

I don’t care kid, make Itachi cry again and I’m biting your head off.

Swimming?

It’s not chocolate it’s a protein shake.

From Sasori:

Already said No. Stop begging.

Dinner tonight?

You left your shirt in my room.

Stop asking me to rate your selfies. I’m a busy man. And they all look the exact same.

Only if you agree to wear a hairnet or something. I’m not spending an hour picking blonde hairs out of my sheets like last time.

Oh come on, please? You’d be the centerpiece of my entire collection!

No. Stop being lazy and write your own mission report.

I miss you. 

Did you spill juice on that puppet? It’s all sticky.

Kakuzu said No? What’d you do to piss him off?

Alright. Be safe. Love you ❤️

[kedreeva]

I work in a whole foods supply store, and one of our customers is a lovely old lady who lives out on a rural property, way beyond the city limits.

A pair of peacocks have nested and made babies at the edge of her land (two clutches so far this year), and she has taken it upon herself to feed them, so she comes to us to buy food - seeds, chopped nuts and dried fruits.

I know she means well, but she says the babies now come to her door to 'beg' for food, which means they're habituating, so I feel like she's doing them more harm than good.

If you knew of someone doing this, would you leave them to it, or try to dissuade them? Also, is the food I described above actually okay for peacocks?

She says the peahen is a bright, beautiful, unblemished white, which I thought was quite rare? She is going to bring me photos on her next visit...

Unless you're in India, they're not habituating because they're not wild animals, they're feral domestics. If they're hanging around and being fed, congrats, she's got free range peafowl. It's free birds!

As for the mix, I would cut out the nuts. Fruits are fine but they don't really like citrus and they shouldn't have avocado. Fresh fruits are better than dried, dried concentrates the sugars and doesn't provide any hydration. If she'll listen to you, tell her you have a friend that breeds peafowl and that they suggested better treats would be live mealworms or superworms, dubia roaches, farm-raised hornworms, or mouse pinkies. They also like fish (at least feeder fish, but possibly also larger fish they can pick apart) and meats. They can be given veggies, but they don't rip things apart the way chickens do their beaks are not as able to tear into hard things, so veggies should be chopped small. They will happily rip up greens or melons that are cut open though. Banana too! They love banana and berries.

Black oil sunflower seed and safflower are good seeds, limit corn intake. No beans allowed except refried ones. Planting clover in her yard will be a good source of nutrient-rich greens (and good for bees!).

But honestly, a good high-protein dry chow with some water added fresh to it will provide a lot of benefit, just as much attention, and probably be cheaper since you can get 50lb for like $20. I use Belstra 28% turkey starter crumble from a local feed mill. It may not look as interesting but my birds get a LOT of varied treats and chow mash is one they'll eat every day without any hesitation, and leave nothing behind. The only other treats that is true for are bugs and farmer's helper golden egg nugget treats. Even peanuts they have turned their noses up at a couple of times.

As for the white color, it's not that rare. A lot of people don't like to keep them because they get dirty easily and because colored birds often HATE them. Hens often won't mate with them if they can see other males, and males often attack or attempt to chase off white hens. In the wild, a white animal draws attention and opens the flock to predation.

[crevicedwelling]

Probably a stupid question but, can invertebrates become overweight? Animals kept as pets can get too "loved" and become overweight, but can this also happen to, idk, slugs, millipedes, etc.?

depends on the bug! in general most bugs will just not eat if they don’t feel hungry. quite often my amblypygi and centipedes refuse food, and will do so for long periods of time when close to molting.

many herbivores or detritivores like slugs, caterpillars, millipedes, isopods, or cockroaches will eat plant matter all day until they meet their needs. however, for certain animals. captive diets can be too rich in nutrients. most roaches are adapted to eat low-protein diets and therefore store protein efficiently as uric acid crystals. in captivity, too much protein essentially give roaches gout and can kill them, so dog/cat/fish food should be given in moderation (depending on species, 20-30% protein is more than enough and less is fine, I raise B. dubia entirely on vegetable and fruit scraps).

predatory bugs also can be overfed. some tarantulas can become obese which is concerning for them since they have thin, soft abdomens which rupture easily, so obese tarantulas are more susceptible to injury and molting failure. my A. chalcodes Cassandra hasn’t eaten since the previous autumn and not lost any weight, so it seems to depend on the species and individual’s metabolism if they’ll overeat. some centipedes can look awfully bloated in captivity, but not enough is known about them to say if that’s unhealthy. I try to keep my centipedes fairly slim, and mine seem to not feed if they’re not hungry as well.

in general, my advice for feeding arthropods is to try and mimic natural diets as much as possible. slugs and caterpillars need to eat constantly to extract nutrients from their watery, fibrous plant diets, so should always have food available. cockroaches, millipedes, and isopods are detritivores, so should always have dead leaves or vegetable bits to eat, and protein can be offered in moderation as needed. predators should be fed plenty after molting, and maintained not-at-bursting for the rest of that instar

[endangered-aquarium-fish]

Toba betta (Betta rubra)

Endangered

One of the domestic betta's 74+ wild relatives!!! The Toba Betta is just a tiny little guy at only 2 inches long, and it's only found around lake Toba on the island of Sumatra, under a canopy of tropical pine forests. It's known for being very expressive, with just as much personality as domestic bettas- theyre goofy little guys, always exploring and interacting and showing off (or squabbling) with other fish and people, and changing colors to communicate - males seem to glow with a stunningly bright crimson when they're ready to mate.

Betta rubra is one of the more adaptable wild bettas, living both in stagnant peat swamps and fast flowing hillstreams, but always in soft, acidic water. It's one of the best fish for someone who wants to get into wild bettas for the first time.

Most fish in its family build bubble nests to raise their fry, which is such a wonderful thing that anyone who keeps them would recognize, but the Toba Betta has its own way- it comes from an ancestor that only lived in fast currents that would pick up the whole nest and carry it away if they could, so it came up with a new strategy called mouthbrooding - the males just hold the whole clutch inside their cavernous mouths!!! the eggs can take a couple weeks to hatch and the fish holding them goes that entire time without ever eating. Toba bettas can be very aggressive about constantly mating, sometimes doing it right as the fry from last time are released, so they sometimes go for months without any food 0.0

And that's not the only one of its clever tricks either!! Like other fish in the gourami family, Toba bettas have an entire unique organ to help them adapt to stagnant swamps and pools without oxygen. It's called a labyrinth organ after its mazelike fractal structure - and that structure is used to breathe air. Yeah!!! Air breathing fish!!!! They've gotten to the point where they actually need access to both air and water to breathe from or they drown.

Overall they're a lot like a more chill and funky version of a domesticated betta :3

Make sure you have at least a 5-10 gallon tank for your bettas, and 15-20 gallons is really best for a pair or small group - they're normally peaceful but it's important that they can get away from each other if there's a conflict. They jump a lot, so it's also very important that the tank has a lid, and that the water level is about an inch or more below it so they have enough oxygen to breathe (make sure the lid isn't completely airtight - you can poke holes in it or something)

Toba bettas love soft, warm (70-80 F), acidic water with a gentle current and some tannins from decaying leaves, wood, and seed pods. If your tap water isn't naturally soft this may not be the best fish for you. The tannins are medicinal, help grow food for the babies, and help the fish feel a bit safer. My favorite way to get them is from oak leaves and twigs and acorns since they're tannin rich and readily available where I am.

Like most wild bettas, Toba bettas love to have plenty of shade and cover from aquatic plants, rocks, and wood. Some of my favorite plants to use for this are pearlweed, susswassertang, frogbit, banana lilies, and Cryptocorynes- they'll all help your bettas feel safe and at home :3 (and they help the water quality a lot!!! do not underestimate the power of photosynthesis >:3)

Bettas have a reputation for being aggressive, but not these!! They're a bit more peaceful and can be kept in pairs or trios, and with other small, slow moving, peaceful fish if you give everyone enough space and cover, but males are very territorial to each other so only add one unless its a large tank. The one other thing they won't get along with is shrimp - they love eating crustaceans and their adaptation for mouthbrooding means they have a bigger mouth than you think.

They're really easy to feed - other than your shrimp, they love to eat most protein rich foods, like fluval bug bites and freeze dried or frozen blood worms, mysis shrimp, etc., but they really prefer live foods like mosquito larvae and daphnia if you can provide that to them.

They're easy to breed too, just put a male and a female together and keep them happy and well fed and you'll have babies in no time. The male will wrap around the female and squeeze out all her eggs before fertilizing them and scooping them up into his mouth until they hatch a couple weeks later. Keep a separate tank ready so you can move the female after breeding or she's likely to eat the babies once they're free, and don't move or stress the male while he has eggs or he might swallow them. The male should be removed too once the fry are swimming - they don't usually eat their own young, but they certainly can. The fry need humid air, like 90% or more, otherwise their labyrinth organ won't develop properly and they can die - luckily it's pretty easy to just put some plastic wrap or a good lid over the tank. They're super tiny and they love super tiny foods, including the millions of little creatures already living in the substrate, dead leaves, and plants. Some of their favorites are microworms, daphnia, and baby brine shrimp. As long as you keep the water clean and feed them well you'll have lots of new thriving colorful bettas in a couple months :3

Toba bettas are endangered in the wild from habitat destruction/degredation, invasive species, overexploitation, and climate change. So go keep them alive at home!!!!! its fun i promise :3

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

"I hate the phrase 'healing my inner child' just state what normal activity you are doing and call it that"

Well I for one am healing my inner child by eating a platter of fish, eggs and fries.

You see, when I was a baby and then a toddler, my mother's number one complaint to my doctor was that I was hungry all the time and if she didn't feed me enough I'd go do something like hunt bugs in the garden and eat them... Or scream for more milk than she could make at all hours of the night, etc...

And he always told her that this was probably normal and healthy for me because I wasn't overweight and humans are primates, after all, but she should try giving me more protein in my diet so I didn't risk eating a dangerous bug, because i was like 2 and would just eat anything that moved.

So my mother took to cooking up platters of chicken nuggets and other meats and leaving the plate on the counter or table for me to find and "graze on" through the day... No word back yet on if this is why I seem immune to salmonella poisoning come to think of it... To the point where if I found a platter of meat left out, I just assumed it was intended for me. I was a literal baby, okay?

Did this cause me to eat the whole platter of fish they caught at a family reunion once, because my uncle ignored my mother's warning not to leave it sitting where I could reach it? Yes. And my mother is pissed at him to this day and annoyed at the whole thing because I went on to eat half a burger and an ice cream cone.

I was a skinny kid. [no one thought to figure out HOW/why]

I was occasionally a fat baby, but then I'd have some big growth spurt and the pain of growing would kill my apatite, so I'd grow in these particularly concentrated spurts where I would go from the smallest of my age range to the tallest, and pack on weight in between to make up for it. The base doctors had to repeatedly assure my mother that I was doing okay so long as it was working for me.

Flash forward to being a skinny preteen. 98 pounds on a good day and already 5'7"

I move in with my step mother just before hitting puberty.

She was raised protestant, and I would later figure it out judging by the kinds of abuse she passed on to us.

She was also paranoid of us being fat because she used to be a size 14 dating mr. america or some shit and felt like she had ruined her life by letting herself go since she met my dad. And her daughter had the genes to be heavier, so she was constantly limiting what we ate.

If I took food from the cupboard after school, it was called "stealing", if I took anything outside of meal times, it was called "stealing" and I was punished for it.

She herself would describe me as "gaunt" when this started and was annoyed I didn't fit her daughter's hand-me downs, but still restricted what I ate out of fear I might get 'fat' or it would "catch up with me"...

During mealtimes if I reached for seconds or anything more that what she felt was an appropriate serving, she tried to use shame to stop me by calling me a "glutton" [literally I know that's a little on the nose but gluttony is the name of the sin she thinks I was committing], even when I tried to point out I was just hungry and was growing, and obviously wasn't over-eating.

She also preemptively slut shamed my asexual ass so hard that when men [yes men he was 18] were inappropriate towards me I knew I couldn't go to my parents about it without being blamed. There were a lot of issues. Nearly all of it her insecurity about us not being her children and religious abuse under a different name.

At school, meanwhile, I was passing out from anemia, but if I wanted steak, or my steak rare instead of cooked to boot-leather and/or wanted more than one, she'd leave in anger to go for a walk if my father wouldn't let her stop me.

I have so many complaints about my father too but props to him for the time he "accidentally" under cooked my steak and wouldn't let her almost literally take it out of my mouth to stop me from eating it.

We went from my mother being poor and doing the best she could to feed us -regardless of what other problems I have with her care- to being shamed for being hungry in a house of plenty. Literally my mother was convinced to send us to live with my dad in part by pointing out how much better they could provide for us... There were always leftovers, there was no argument to be made I was somehow eating to keep the food out of anyone else's hands. Food went bad in that fridge. And I got in trouble sometimes for "stealing" and eating it before it could.

I cannot tell you how much this probably stunted my growth or fucked up my development or added to stress that caused me to start developing autoimmune conditions while I was still in high school.

And imagine if I had internalized that she was right instead of looking at the facts and concluding she was delusional. I got up to being 140 ish pounds with lots of muscle, huge fuckign tits, and finally being stopped at 5'8". I wasn't fat then, even if I hated the girl shaped wiggling, and I am not fat now, eating whatever the hell I want and still being about 140 pounds and 5'8" but not being dangerously anemic and on the edge of fainting all the time. If I was fat it wouldn't change anything, but genuinely the point was that nothing -even based on bad principles- was being gained by keeping me from eating and it was only ruining my health. It was about control, not care. Don't get me wrong on this I don't think the parents of fat kids should be restricting their diet either, but if I was on my way to 300 lb at 14 I could understand my parents trying to be body positive but having genuine concerns I did not need a 2nd steak at dinner. The way they treated my step sister who -was- heavier wasn't appropriate either, it was still about control and it was still unhealthy. But the fact was I was skinny and fainting and I was being denied food -that was left to go bad- when I was hungry.

This started somewhere when I was between the ages of 10-12, but even before that after my dad left my mom and she was feeding us on the salary of a waitress with 2 kids and a semi dependent mother... Remember when I mentioned my sister and I were so unused to large meals we split a happy meal on trips?

So yeah, when I eat a big fucking platter of meat protein to help myself heal and recover I am healing my inner child.

Also my inner teen, and also my connective tissue the fuck that's what food is for.

It is an act of self-care and of protest.

And my inner child is at the surface singing a little song about "eat eggs!", and this is normal and healthy for primates when they make themselves food actually.

RIP to you but I have a platter of fish and lack hate in my heart.