#just gotta survive the scene block

[dojunie]

hihi will u be posting lake house fic before ch5?

SURPRISE!!! i answered this one a little too late to actually reply but ch5 is out first 🤕 lake house is giving me a little bit of a problem writing wise, im stuck on a scene that's holding me up, but if i don't figure it out the next time i open the doc im just going to rework the part until it's no longer a problem LOL i so desperately want to get this written, i need to see mc/jaem come to light....

[rosewaterandivy]

Everyone But You - a Life as We Know It au

Ch. 2 - I've Got That Lefty Curse

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Summary: hey, you know what a funeral is decidedly not for? gettin' your dick wet. | OR eddie munson's no good, very bad lay. Pairing: e.m. x f!oc w.c.: 4.9K warnings: NSFW / MDNI, immersive second person narration w/ a name and background but no physical description mentioned, grief, character death, funeral, jason carver mention, badly repressed emotions, poor emotional regulation skills, bathroom antics inspired by the moves of Paris Geller and that one scene from Catch & Release tagging: @powderblueblood for coming up with Eddie's nickname for the rover 😘

The garage door trundles open as Eddie twirls the keys in a flourish. You squint behind your sunglasses, bringing your phone closer to avoid the sun’s glare as you triple-check the directions to CPS.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” Eddie grouses as the car comes into view. It’s big, some kind of SUV, a Range Rover apparently, if his grumbling is to go by, one that is impeccably clean.

“What’s the problem?” You walk toward the car as it chirps to unlock, “Keys,” You point to his outstretched hand, “Driver,” You point to him and finally gesture to the car, “Vehicle.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Right, sure. Lemme drive this car that’s worth more than my life, that’ll go real swell!” He choruses in false cheer before his face falls, “Yeah, no. Think fast,” He lobs the keys toward you which you step to avoid, and the pair of you watch as they rattle to the floor.

“Well shit, Sherlock, y’know you’re supposed to catch things as they’re thrown at you.”

You roll your lips between your teeth and raise a brow, “I don’t drive.”

“Riiiight,” Eddie says, scooping down to collect the keys. “Of course you don’t, your majesty. Wouldn’t want to sully ourselves with something so pedestrian.” He yanks the driver’s side door open and hauls himself inside.

Settled in the passenger seat, you buckle your seatbelt and pair your phone to the bluetooth in the car. Eddie adjusts the seat and mirror before deciding on a Sirius station for the fifteen minute journey to downtown.

“For the record,” He says, pulling out onto the residential street, “I have a driver’s license, not a boating one. This thing is a goddamn behemoth.”

The car lurches forward as he navigates toward the stop sign at the end of the block, the seatbelt seizes against your chest, jerking you backward into the seat.

“Munson, sort your shit out! There’s going to be an actual baby whose well-being we’re responsible for in here, you know.”

He kisses his teeth and huffs in exasperation, “Sorryyy, I can’t figure out the damn clutch on the S.S. Fuck The Planet, princess. Jesus H. Christ.” 

You make a mental note to have the insurance policy switched over and update the title on the cars as well. Swiping over to the notes app, you tap out a reminder and add a trip to the grocery store for good measure. The list is titled: HOW TO SURVIVE IN HAWKINS and has such gems as: whole foods - where?, research moving co.’s NYC, check out brownstone, contact attorney & set up will, utilities & electric??, and baby books!!!

While you prepped for the impending arrival of Zoë and a prolonged stay in the Midwest, Eddie prattled through the house like Jacob Marley’s ghost shuffling from one vacant room to the next. He’d sent something off to his agent and editor via email about pushing the deadline back for his current novel, and had thrown his duffle in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, the one furthest from Chrissy and Jason’s room, naturally.

You’d settled in a room close to the nursery and across the way from Eddie. The guest bath was conveniently at the end of the hall just before the staircase. Neither of you bothered unpacking after Max left, just threw your bags upstairs and scrambled to the garage to pick up Zoë as soon as possible.

The ride smooths out, eventually, Eddie seeming to get a hang of the clutch or whatever it was, and soon enough you’re being escorted back to the caseworker’s office at CPS. 

She instructs you to sign the form with your intention of temporary custody just until the court can set a date with the judge to award full custody. Until that time, a caseworker would be checking up on Zoë and your care of her, the findings of which would be presented to the judge at a later date.

“And if you’ll sign here as well, Mr. Munson.” 

Eddie scribbles off his disaster of a signature just as Zoe is brought in.

“Oh,” You sigh, relieved as you rise from the chair. “There she is.” You adjust the strap of your tote on your shoulder and leave the room, gently taking her from a woman with a nod of thanks. Keeping your voice soft and low, you greet Zoë. “Hi, sweetheart. Hi sweet girl!”

It’s rare that Eddie ever hears you like this, voice pitched just so as not to hint at any sadness you may be grappling with currently. And Zoë, she looks so pink and cute— footsie pajamas decorated in little hearts. 

“Oh, honey. It’s so good to see you.” You brush back her downy blonde hair just as she begins to fuss, blue eyes falling to Eddie, who is rendered speechless in the office. He sniffs to clear any welling tears and quietly thanks the caseworker before joining you in the waiting room.

“I know, I know,” You soothe, rocking her back and forth, watching as Eddie steps beside you. 

Zoë continues her soft cries, not nearing meltdown territory yet, but rather expressing her confusion or discomfort. Eddie’s hand cards through her wisps of blonde hair as you turn and say, “Hey, look. Hey, look – it’s Uncle Eddie!” Which seems to placate her somewhat, as chubby arm reaches toward him.

Lifting her from your hip, you continue to narrate: “Wanna go see him? Good, he’s right here.” And place her squarely against his chest, his hands coming to grip her sides as she tucks herself against him, little fingers gripping the worn fabric of his shirt.

You watch as he holds his goddaughter, her soft cries falling away to nothing as she nuzzles into his neck. “Okay,” You breathe, “We should really get her home.”

The car seat, however, proves difficult. Eddie has grimaced and groused his way through various belt to lock combinations, determining all of them to be useless.

“Who designed this thing, a fuckin’ Space X engineer?”

Leaning against the car with Zoë, you decide fifteen minutes is more than enough time for Eddie to dick around with the car seat. “Shove over Elon, this is getting ridiculous.” 

Seamlessly, you set Zoë in the car seat and buckle her in. “See?” You ask, a taunting lilt to your voice, “Was that so difficult?”

“Well, that’s because I eliminated all other possibilities, so obviously you—”

“Shut it, Munson. And drive.”

You’re nearly back to Loch Nora when a cop lights up behind the rover. “Really, today? C’mon man!” Eddie pulls off to the side of the road, going for his wallet before stopping short. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh shit? What do you mean oh shit?!” You whisper frantically, “This isn’t really on ‘oh shit’ type of moment, if you hadn’t noticed!”

“God, would you shut up for, like, two seconds so I can think?!”

“Please, let’s not pretend you think.”

An intentional elbow jabs into his ribs with enough force for him to hiss. He’s about to snarl something not fit for tiny ears back at you when two raps on the window shocks you both into silence.

Eddie reluctantly rolls down the window with a pained smile. 

“Morning officer, what seems to be the problem?”

There’s a pause before a bellowing laugh. “Munson!? Well, of all the gin joints in all the world—”

Eddie’s face flushes pink, “Uh, right. Hi there, Hop.” He clears his throat, “How are… things.”

“Bout to ask you the same thing, kid.” He pockets his aviator glasses and leans against the door, propping one arm to rest on the roof. “D’you know you rolled through that light down on Main before turning onto Pinebow?”

“Uh, no. Sorry, must’ve been distracted.”

“I’ll say,” The officer peers into the car, gaze falling on you. “Morning ma’am. Mind getting me the registration from the glove box?”

“I, uh,” You supply, uselessly. Eddie leans over to do it himself before you can ask what a registration would even look like. Your eyes dart back to Zoë still sleeping soundly. 

“I need to level with you Hop,” Eddie says, handing the paper over to him. “This is not my car, this is not my beautiful wife, and my license is expired.”

“It is!?” You ask, furious. How could he be so irresponsible? There is a child riding in the backseat! Before you can rip him a new asshole, the officer chuckles.

“Can’t say I’m surprised Ed. Shame about the wife bit though.” He reads the registration and passes it back to Eddie. “But considering the circumstances … I’ll let this one slide.”

“The circumstances?” You prompt, wondering how the hell a traffic cop would know about Chrissy and Jason’s accident.

“My condolences,” He says with a frown and furrowed brow, as if the very idea of their absence unsettles him. “It’s a small town, I’m sure everyone’ll know by day’s end.”

Hop puts his glasses back on and steps back from the vehicle. He nods to you with a small smile, before his eyes narrow on Eddie. “You need to get this taken care of, Munson.” Slapping the roof of the car, he turns on his heel and walks back to the cruiser, “See you Friday!”

Eddie waves him off and pulls back onto the road. Offering positively zero explanations as to why this man you’d never met before today would be showing up to the house later this week.

“Munson, why does that cop think he's coming by the house later?”

“Hmm, oh, Hop? He’s not just a cop, he’s the Sheriff.” 

As if that made it any better.

“Do I want to know why you’re friendly with the boys in blue, er, khaki? Thought you were the commander and chief of ACAB.”

“That,” He says, punching the button to open the garage as the house comes back into view, “Is a story for another time. But for now, just chalk it up to the fact that Hawkins is a verrrry small town, princess.”

By Friday, your bags still remain unpacked by the door to the guest room. It would be so easy to call a car, book a flight and just leave, like it had never happened in the first place.

You’re pretty sure that’s what Munson is expecting you to do. He doesn’t trust you, nor you him. How can you? It’s not like you were ever friends. And it’s not like you’ve seen him in that way since—

A soft knock from the door has you turning to find him holding Zoë in the crook of his arm. She’s smiling and sleepy, fresh from her bath. One that had left you positively drenched, prompting a hasty retreat to find a change of clothes.

“They’re, uh, driving up now.” Eddie mumbles, and though he hasn’t said it, hasn’t complained one bit, you can see how exhausted he is. Essentially dead on your feet from your first night with Zoë. 

She’d cried and wailed all night, or so it felt, and you were sure you’d wake up to a noise complaint or violation of the HOA’s quiet hours or some such shit. Eddie had volunteered to stay with her that night, elected to sleep on the couch in the nursery because he’s “slept on worse.”

He’s said it as if he didn’t already have dark circles under his eyes, as if they hadn’t been awake for over 24 hours, and you want to refute it, to say you can keep the baby monitor on you instead, but the look in Eddie’s eyes tells you this isn’t just about staying the night with Zoë. 

It’s that he wants to make sure Chrissy’s daughter is safe, to protect her daughter in the way he wasn’t able to protect his best friend last night.

“Could you just sleep in—” You tilt your head toward Chrissy and Jason’s room, it’s closer to the nursery anyway. But you don’t get to finish your thought before he’s swept in to the room and settled Zoë in her crib for the night. The conversation effectively over.

“Right,” You say, peeling off the door frame to leave, “Forget I asked.”

But that was last night, and you’d be remiss to say that you’d made it much longer on your own. The room was far too quiet, the sheets too stiff, and you couldn’t find your sound machine to save your life.

It’s two o’clock when you stumble into the nursery, nearly tripping over Eddie’s prone leg because he’s too tall for the small couch, but he doesn’t wake. You make yourself comfortable on the plush white rug, the one Chrissy had sworn felt like a cloud and rest your head on the pillow you’d snuck in from the guest room.

Maybe it’s the white noise machine looped to Zoë’s crib, or maybe it’s the proximity of being close to her that brings a sense of calm that’s enough to lull you into sleep. And maybe, it’s the soft snores and snuffles that fall from the tangle of limbs precariously close to slipping off of the couch.

Regardless, you and Eddie had somewhat survived your first day as guardians. Had struggled through feedings and diaper changes, nap time, and seemingly endless loads of laundry. You’d read Chrissy’s parenting books and ordered more to be delivered tomorrow. Eddie had returned victorious from a Target run and you’d each set about slapping sticky notes and scribbling furiously on a huge tear away calendar— you’d even assigned colors: you were purple, Eddie was neon green, Zoë was pink, naturally.

Max, Eddie’s friend and the estate attorney, had apparently rallied the troops for a family dinner for that evening. You and Eddie were to do nothing, under strict instructions from someone named Nancy to relax and focus on Zoë. You could hear the front door opening as people made their way inside for dinner. 

Gently, Eddie passes Zoë off to you and helps you wrap the sling around your torso. After watching several tutorials on YouTube, you felt confident that everyone would feel more comfortable this way. Plus, your arms were killing you— who knew carrying a baby around could be so tiring?

Once downstairs, introductions are made. Eddie names off everyone in attendance as they stare at you like a new exhibit at the MoMa, or maybe the zoo is more accurate. Immediately, you can see that you don’t belong. Everyone is dressed down casually in jeans and t-shirts, their shoes kicked off by the door.

Whereas you, on the other hand, announce your presence with the click-clack of your heels on the floorboards. Swan into rooms with impeccable posture and sport dresses never more than a season old, unless they’re archival vintage, of course. A bold lip and manicured nails, not a hair out of place.

To the assembled people of Hawkins, you sure cut the figure of a Stepford wife.

“Hi,” A voice pipes up from the man to your right, “I’m Ste—”

A metallic clang sounds out, muffling whatever he had to say. Quickly followed by an exasperated, “Oh, goddamit!”

You smile at him, “The pleasure is all mine. Dean, you said it was?” 

“I, uh,” He stammers out, unable to land his gaze anywhere on your person.

“Right,” You say primly, hearing more cursing from the kitchen, “If you’ll excuse me.”

And, of course, the source of the cacophony is none other than Munson himself. He’s got the hood fan going on the stovetop, and there’s smoke pluming from the oven. Company has been here all of ten minutes and he’s already going to burn the house down.

You grab the sheet pan he’s using to dissipate the smoke from the alarms on the ceiling and narrowly avoid smacking him upside the head.

“I never took you for an arsonist, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.”

He coughs into his shoulder, his hand waving through the air uselessly. But before you can tell him to shove over and let you handle things, people stream into the kitchen. Eddie is shuffled from the stove by a kind woman named Joyce, only to be pulled away by an older man, his uncle Wayne, while Hopper takes over in the kitchen.

Windows are opened by Max and Lucas, allowing the smoke to dissipate. And eventually, Joyce offers to take Zoë and put her to bed after her dinner of mashed peas and carrots. Begrudgingly you let her, dropping a kiss to her downy blonde curls before she’s whisked away.

Dinner is nice as is the company, even if conversation is a bit stilted and awkward given the circumstances. You don’t say much and no one expects you to, but every so often Wayne will catch you gaze and offer a small smile. It’s easy to appreciate his silence, to see it as a comfort because god knows his nephew is normally anything but.

You’re on your second glass of wine for the evening, listening to Robin as she details the various hijinks of what she refers to as the Scoops Troop. But she keeps mentioning someone named Steve and you have half a mind to ask her who that could possibly be. Dean, for all his lack of being mentioned in these stories, laughs along good-naturedly.

It’s when you yawn for the second time in five minutes, that Eddie suggests: “Hey, you should go up and get some sleep.”

You scowl, confused and pleasantly buzzed but stand up all the same. “Fine, but no promises, Munson.”

It had been decided that you’d give the eulogy for the service today. Eddie sits with Zoë in his lap – she's dozing off and you’re thankful – and when Eddie stares up at you, you can feel your heart in your throat. Initially, it seemed that Eddie would deliver the eulogy, this was, after all, his hometown and this church was full of people he’d known most of his life.

But when he’d come to you two nights ago after Zoë had finally fallen asleep, shaking like a leaf with crescent hollows beneath his eyes that the moon would envy, and he’d said in a voice so broken and empty: “I just can’t do it. Please don’t make me.”

And so you didn’t.

Halfway through, while the crowd is chuckling sadly, politely, at your anecdotes about Chrissy and Jason. Things are going well until Zoë begins to hiccup and throws a tantrum. Ellie, Chrissy’s mom, scoops her up into her arms easily and carries her out of the church. Over her shoulder, Zoë’s arms stretch out toward the front of the church, her face crumpled as she cries for her mommy and daddy.

Me too baby girl, me too.

You force yourself to look back at Eddie, and his eyes meet yours. It's a moment of understanding that goes straight to your gut and steals the breath from your lungs; Chrissy wasn’t ever coming back.

The wake is held at the house, a tasteful catered affair courtesy of Jason’s parents. Everyone thought it best for Zoë to be in a familiar setting to try and stick to her routine. People mill about downstairs stopping every so often to shake your hand and offer their condolences, thoughts and prayers, or claim that their hearts are with you during this difficult time.

It’s all you can do not to scream as you hold Zoë like a life raft. So, instead of snapping something at someone’s handsy uncle who has had you cornered for the last five minutes or so, you talk to Chrissy in your head.

What were you thinking Chris? This wasn’t the plan at all, in fact, you’ve jumped the gun by about sixty-odd years y’know. If you care to recall, we said we’d outlive our husbands and buy a place on the Cape. Descend into spinsterhood in style, and then haunt the shit out of that property, as is our right.

Ellie checks in on you with a soft touch to the arm, ushering pervy uncle toward the hors d’oeuvres. Small miracles. You can feel the tears gathering on your lashes, and you know that your tolerance for these platitudes is quickly dwindling. You haven’t seen Eddie since he fed and changed Zoë an hour or so ago.

He’s been distant since that night, the one where you’d refused him and drawn your line in the sand.

Catching sight of Robin, you tell her that Zoë is going for her nap and she promises to make your excuses. She latches on to that guy she seems permanently attached to, (Dean, you wanna say?) and they begin to spread the word in an attempt to clear everyone out.

You take the stairs slowly, not wanting to shift the dozing girl in your arms too much, as you step onto the second floor landing. Turning into the nursery, you set her down on the changing table and rid her of her funeral dress.

No little girl should ever have one, much less be given the opportunity to wear it.

Back in her comfy pjs, you sit on the rocking chair and kick off your heels. Zoë nuzzles against your neck as you hum softly. Sooner than you’d anticipated, the rhythmic rocking to and fro has eased her into sleep. Rising as gently as you’re able, you lay her down in the crib, turn on her sound machine, and step out of the room with baby monitor in hand.

Downstairs, you can hear rumblings of conversation overridden by a male voice: “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!” 

Chuckling, you duck into the guest bathroom before any of the hangers on can spot you as they take their leave. Back hitting the door, you allow yourself a moment or two to breathe. Surrounded by people all day on what has arguably been the worst day of your life to date. Smoothing down the skirt of your dress, you pull the shower curtain aside and step into the basin of the bathtub. Once settled, you draw the curtain closed again and let your head rest against the tile wall.

“Why did you leave me alone like this, Chrissy?” You say, voice ricocheting off the bathroom tiles. “You know I can’t handle anything without you.”

Not two minutes later, and someone comes barreling in. Huh, guess you never did lock that door. 

Before you can alert them of your presence, a high-pitched giggle sounds out followed by the scuffling of feet. The door is shut, and the lock is thrown as the giggle turns into a high, breathy gasp. They sound closer now, if the wet sounds of tongues battling for dominance is anything to go by.

Rearing back, you sink into the corner of the tub and will it all to go away. The noxious, ringing laughter continues unabated only punctuated by the sounds of a belt buckle clinking against the sink, a zipper being pulled down.

If you were so inclined (which you are decidedly not), you could simply turn your head to the left and feast your eyes on the shadow sexual escapades of one—

“Oh, Eddie.”

For fuck’s sake! As if this day could get any worse.

But, oh wait, it does.

“Sock it to me!” 

Biting the heel of your hand to quell the rising laughter, your eyes blow wide at her litany of ‘sock it to me’s’ – it’s as if that’s the only thing her poorly wired brain will allow her to say mid-coitus. Eddie’s laughter, understandable given the circumstances, devolves into an attempt to shush his conquest from what has got to be the most unimaginative dirty talk you’ve had the misfortune to be privy to.

When she finally reaches her peak (“Yeah! That’s so good!”), you’ve already mentally catalogued the ways in which you could have a) killed yourself in the interim, b) killed Eddie, and c) killed this poor woman, in all likelihood saving her from a life of mediocre sex at funerals.

“Thanks.”

Well, at least she’s polite.

“Uh, you’re welcome.”

Eddie sounds embarrassed, voice tight and you can imagine he’s doing that thing where he drums his fingers against his thigh, impatiently waiting for this all to be over. His lips are probably tucked between his teeth while she washes her hands, eyes anywhere but on her.

There’s the sound of the door being unlocked and the throw away line of “Call me,” and with that, she’s gone.

The sink runs again, Eddie muttering to himself under his breath, and for the briefest of seconds when you dramatically pull the shower curtain open, you could’ve sworn you saw something akin to regret (or was it disgust?) as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Fuck!” 

He jumps back, startled at your Houdini-esque appearance. All too calmly, you step out from the bathtub, gaze fixed on him all the while. You pluck the joint from his fingers and stow it in your pocket. 

And you haven’t launched into him yet, so maybe this isn’t the verbal crucifixion that Eddie thinks it’ll be. There’s a curl to his lips that says he’s going to be a problem, that he’s going to make a joke out of this, as if he hadn’t buried his best friend earlier today and then gone and screwed a cater waiter in the bathroom of her house during the wake.

“Well, well, well, if it isn't my Lady Disdain,” He drawls, arms loosely crossed against his chest, “Are you yet living?”

It is only in deference to Zoë that you don’t go scorched earth on his ass right then and there. There’s a soft squawk from your other pocket where the baby monitor is as she likely rolls over in her sleep.

“I am only going to say this once, Munson, so you better get it through that abomination you call a skull.”

Briefly, someone attempts to enter the bathroom, the door nudging open only to be forcefully shut as you, in an impressive feat of balance, slam one Manolo Blahnik clad heel against the door and shove it closed.

“Occupied!”

You wait a beat or two, leg slotted against the door to be sure that whomever was on the opposite side did not attempt further entry. 

If only your yoga instructor could see you now.

Releasing your hold on the door, you flip the lock and take measured steps back to Eddie who is now crowded back against the pedestal sink.

“Did ya have some fun? Get you rocks off? Add another notch to the bedpost?” You seethe, and he knows better than to interrupt when you’re like this. “What a fitting way to send off Chrissy, huh? By defiling her home because you lack something called self-restraint.”

“Hey, that’s not—”

“What, is that not accurate Munson? Because from where I was sitting, it sounded like you couldn’t wait bust your nut into the next woman who batted her lashes at you, who maybe, juuuust maybe,” You take one step closer, a mere breath away from him. “Suffers form an undiagnosed brain injury and lowers herself to slum it with the likes of you.”

“Tell me how you really feel, sweetheart,” He sneers, “All those years of therapy seem to be doin’ wonders for your self-esteem. Because you’re too high and mighty to count yourself one of the crowd, right?”

“You have no right—”

“I have no right? Are you kidding me? I'm not the one who shuts down at the first opportunity, who would rather run away than stay here and deal with this!"

"It's not like I’ve left! I'm here, aren't I?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know that?" He demands. "We are not just playing house here! And you can’t pretend that we’re not partners in this. If you’re so scared, why didn't you say anything?”

You storm toward the door, unlocking it as you turn the knob to leave. To get away from him and his pitying looks, his judgment.

"Because I don't need you!"

Eddie’s hand covers yours, “Maybe I need you!" He snaps, almost shouting. "Maybe I need you to work with me instead of against me. Maybe I need you to stop doubting yourself, because there's already so much to worry about and I can't help worrying about you. Maybe I need you to stop being so damn independent and self-absorbed. Maybe I need you to realize that you're not the only person here who lost a best friend."

The heartbreak on his face is so painfully clear that you can feel it in your chest; you can't believe you didn't noticed it before.

The door creaks open.

"Hey, are you guys – oh, sorry."

You turn from Eddie to see Robin on the stairs, hesitating. You clear your throat and blink away any tears, as you step through the door. "Can I help you?"

"I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You're not interrupting," You say, turning toward her and smoothing down your dress.

"Okaaaay." She looks doubtful. "Everyone’s cleared out, leftovers are in the fridge. I checked on Zo and she’s still zonked out."

You nod, “Thanks, for everything.”

“Happy to help.”

You wait until her footsteps fade away, and the front door shuts. Gritting your teeth, you watch as Eddie steps away from you and avoids making eye contact, your jaw clenched tightly enough to hurt.

There's something empty and aching at the base of your throat, and no matter how much you swallow, it won't go away.

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: To Be Found (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

To Be Found 

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

Its an average Thursday with Y/n struggling to ignite her writing mode. What start’s out as a normal night for Y/n, quickly turns into the worst weekend she’ll ever experience. That is... if she survives the whole ordeal. 

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the story!

Last Chapter  |  Next Chapter

It always rained in Gotham but that didn't dampen Y/n's mood. After spending majority of your life in the rain, your body simply adapted to it. An umbrella felt like an extension of your hand nowadays.

Today's forecast was a light drizzle, stuck in between being a nuisance and the beginning stages of a downpour. This was Gotham, so it leaned more towards the latter. Paired with the unbearable humidity and the constant rain, your natural hair didn't stand a chance here.

"Why did I move to Gotham?" You asked yourself wistfully.

Still inside your apartment you sighed at the wet, dreary city outside and packed your trusty umbrella into your tote bag before mentally creating an outfit geared around your rain boots.

For a lazy Thursday afternoon, things were relatively lax at your residence. Soft soul music played from your record player and you took the liberty of living alone to dance around because truly, no one was watching.

One of your giant floor length windows overlooked a nearby park a few blocks away and thankfully you had no neighbors on either side of you to witness you dancing.

You had nothing but your royalties to thank for your cozy Old Gotham apartment near Grant Park. As a matter of fact you had a clear view of it and parts of the Fashion District come night time. You loved the gothic architectural charm of Downtown mixed in with the modern restoration and because of its respectable distance away from Otisburg and Burnley.

Everywhere in Gotham was dangerous but at least you didn't sleep in Joker's playground.

GCPD and Wayne Tower were within walking distance of your apartment if need be, something that put your parent's minds at ease back in Blüdhaven and it ultimately became the final factor in renting the place. Well that plus the original claw foot bathtub but safety came first!

Just mentioning the name of your hometown made your skin crawl. You were forever grateful you escaped that God forsaken city only to land in far worse conditions, but you chose to bear it. Your dreams were limited back home. At least you had a chance to embrace them here in Gotham City.

Ever since you were a little girl the art of creating stories fascinated you. Buried deep inside your mind was the power to create different worlds for people to explore and escape to.

What started out as a simple pastime after studies grew and caught the attention of your school teacher. From there you wrote in local underwriters contests and dabbled in the underground poetry scene until you were eventually scouted out by a publisher. Three novels into an original series with a few standalone books on the side, you were quite a big deal within the YA fiction world. You got a taste of your dream and nothing would stop you.

With your recent book tour complete and the final recording for your third tv interview done, nothing was available to occupy your thoughts which meant it was fast approaching.

Writer's block. Every writer experienced it but the feeling always hit you the worst. By no means were you under a strict contract but as the months rolled by with no new book material, your manager expressed her concerns.

'You gotta give me something to work with, Y/n. I don't want your contract to lapse. Just a few pages! I'll take a novella draft at this point just.. please send me something to beta.' 

You loved Cindy. She meant well and had been the person who scouted you out of Fat Joe's coffeehouse back home and took a chance with you. She saw your potential and wanted to see it flourish. Her keen editing eye and patience for your slow updates made you two the perfect team. Add in the fact she was around the same age as you and boom, everything was golden. 

Who said your manager couldn't be your friend? 

You didn't want to disappoint Cindy but there wasn't any creative juices flowing upstairs. You moved to Gotham to have unlimited inspiration readily available but recently, nothing jumped out at you. The absolute worst case scenario would be getting a new book idea identical to your previous work. A consumer didn't want to read the same story told twice, much less by the same author. 

In time something would reach out and grab you, no need to force greatness. The Greeks Among Us came to you during a midnight stroll past the seedy GC Olympus nightclub in town and your best seller to date, Will Hunter Bill hit you in line at the butcher's market. 

Your loud exclamation in the store terrified a few people but when an idea hits, you tend to get excited. You purchased your meat and jotted down the storyline on the subway ride back home. Two weeks later, Cindy got five rough draft chapters dumped on her desk with the promise of more to come. 

You can't eat a steak anymore without smiling wide. That book was your David, your Mona Lisa- and you feared nothing else would top it's perfection. 

You wish you could pen another bestseller! Oddly enough your thriller hit started out as a flop until a few kids online created a cult following for it and made it mainstream. The true message for the story went over so many people's heads it collected dust on local bookshelves until the Mayor's wife was spotted reading it at her hair appointment. 

Before you knew it, copies were flying off the shelves and Cindy was begging you to write a sequel and boy did you deliver. Your hit series gained attention around the East coast and attracted all types of readers- even infamous ones.  

The Riddler used a direct quote for one of his deadly culling game traps, giving your publisher a liability lawsuit scare.

Then Two-Face was recorded giving his split review about it. He demanded justice for the book's murderers, going on and on about how they needed to be punished and given a fair trial. They were fictional characters! These psychopaths really knew how to test your patience. 

As long as people enjoyed your work that's all that mattered to you. Sure notoriety was great, the royalties were even better, but seeing a fan nose deep and distracted by your story that they couldn't spare a moment away, was worth the late nights spent toiling in front of your laptop. 

It was only natural that you wanted to give the people more material to read, however you knew your writer's block was fast approaching like a freight train. 

You so desperately needed a muse to fight it off. Usually a long walk through the city would spark the mood but it was too dangerous to go out on the weekends (or any day really, Gotham's crime did not rest) especially during the hours your insomnia kept you up. 

You could hear your friend Barbara now. "It's far too dangerous to be walking around at night Y/n! Have you lost your mind?" 

Cue you chuckling to mask your labored breathing. Of course you were out walking whenever she called. It seems she always caught you red handed. 

Barbara stayed up during late hours but you knew computer analytics usually worked at night. A phone call from her at 3AM was normal. Both of you were night owls so no feelings were hurt. 

"Don't worry Barbs! I'm uh.. on my way back right now. I'm walking up Hamilton street as we speak." 

You heard her fingers stop typing over the phone and knew the tongue lashing was imminent. Sometimes Barbara played the part of the 'mom friend' a little too well. Your real mother would be proud of the redhead. 

"Y/n. Isn't that like thirty minutes from your place?" She sighed and resumed her rhythmic tapping. "I'm gonna put a tracker on you one day."  

"Haha, don't be so overprotective Mom. It's not that far!" Little did you know Barbara considered bugging your phone numerous times with a bat tracker but she respected your privacy. 

Now she was regretting that decision. Maybe she could plant one on you at the next brunch you two planned. For now she would settle for keeping you on the phone until she heard your apartment keys jingle in the door. "Okay! I'm back home Barbara. Can I go now?" 

You didn't mind her nightly check-ins. Barbara was good people and a very close friend within your minuscule social circle. 

You didn't get out much and making friends wasn't your strongest suit but after you got lost at your own charity event (another mindless event to promote your first book in the series) and found Barbara talking with a very handsome guy in an empty corridor, the two of you instantly clicked and became fast friends. 

You apologized for intruding on their moment but Barbara waved off your apology and kept it moving. She introduced you to Dick Grayson and thereafter to the savior of Gotham himself, Bruce Wayne. 

Both men hid their relief when you didn't immediately worship the ground they walked on. In fact you didn't recognize their faces or make the connection as to who they were since you were far more fascinated by their matching lapel pins. 

"It's Will's family crest! Where did you get these?!" You gushed, only to be startled out of your fangirl moment by Dick clearing his throat. 

It jumpstarted your brain to notice your hands placement that was practically glued to Mr. Wayne's chest. From what you could feel and you felt quite a lot.. he was very buff for a rich businessman. Maybe he worked out to get the ladies? Anyways.. 

"Oh!" Your ears flushed red. "I'm so sorry! I'm usually not so touchy-feely with strangers. I guess I got too excited! I've seen a lot of fan merch but never one so detailed.." 

"Fan merch? I don't quite follow?" He questioned. 

"It's short for merchandise old man.." Dick chuckled in the background.

Barbara facepalmed and gestured your way. "Bruce, this is Y/n L/n, the author of Will Hunter Bill."  

It took Bruce two seconds to process their comments before he switched into his philanthropist mode. He became the one apologizing for not recognizing you and rambled on about how much he loved your work. You mentally checked out after that. 

"You.. you read my books?" 

His gentle laugh was soothing but it didn't compare to his smile. No wonder so many women fell for his charms. 

"Of course! The way you captured and deceived the audience for half the book only to discover that we the readers are responsible for the murders occurring in the book. It's simply genius. I encouraged all of my staff to read it in their downtime. People need to learn that their actions can influence others inadvertently, no matter how minuscule it may seem."

You soaked up his praise that day. No one summarized your book series so perfectly like Bruce did. 

Cindy appeared and tried to steer you away to mingle with other potential connections and sponsors at the event but you stayed with Mr. Wayne, "Please, call me Bruce." okay.. you stayed with Bruce and Barbara, the latter whom you already exchanged numbers with. 

Two hours passed and not a second of it was wasted with the deep conversation you and Bruce held. 

You didn't care about how your close proximity to Bruce was perceived. You were socializing and making new friends, all while talking about your passion for writing. Let the press have a field day. You would deal with the rumors later. 

The following months after the event gave you enough time to establish a close friendship with Barbara and Dick to call them on speed dial whenever. Be it a quick chat or a long conversation about absolutely nothing, they would answer but you didn't dare program Bruce's number into your phone. 

It was probably his main business number he gave you but the slip of paper sat like a stone in your purse for months after the event, taunting you. 

It didn't feel right calling up such a busy man just to chat. I mean.. what would you talk about besides your books? You two had nothing in common! 

Barbara teased you about it every chance she got. "Bruce rarely gives out his number to people so someone made a great first impression on him." 

You rolled your eyes, "Barb quit it. It's probably his work number, plus he's almost twice my age!" 

You two were sitting at a local restaurant that was handicap accessible, enjoying the rare occasion both of you were free. The humidity from outside fogged up the restaurant's windows but it was pleasant inside away from the rain. 

Her green eyes mimicked yours as she laughed. "Are you sure? Was the card black or slate grey?" She waited for your answer but frowned when you looked unsure. "What's wrong, you don't remember?" 

"It wasn't a card Barbara. He gave me a piece of paper with a number written on it." 

In total, only two minutes passed before you realized just how dumb you were. "Oh my God! Bruce Wayne gave me his personal cell number and I've been sitting on it for almost a year!"  

Your loud shout gained attention from the nearby tables but so did Barbara's howling laughter. 

"This isn't funny Barb!! I don't want the guy to hate me!" You whined. "Oh do you want him to like you?" She replied just as fast. 

"Gah! Here you are encouraging this behavior like a devil on my shoulder! What would my mother say if she knew that Bruce Wayne, of all people, was interested in me?" You tried to explain. 

"Congratulations?" Your glare only fueled her laughter. 

"Oh come on he's not that old.. and age gaps are becoming more popular if you're so worried." Was she trying to convince you or herself? "Look, I've known him for years and I highly doubt he noticed your lack of response with how busy he is and if he did, so what? Just tell him the truth." 

That was the point, you didn't want to accept the truth. It seemed impossible that Bruce Wayne, a successful billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist, in a league of his own, and drop dead gorgeous no matter his age, was interested in you. 

Not to discredit your own success but it didn't (and would never) match Bruce's. 

Despite being a popular author in your prime, until a movie producer came along your stories would be just that. Books on someone's bookshelf. Your fame would fade and so would the steady income. It was no wonder many authors never became wealthy from only their literature. 

Cindy tried to get you to schmooze with some silver screen board directors at the charity event but you choose to dissect your series page by page with Bruce instead. 

The way he talked about your characters and gave them more personality than you ever could had you starry eyed. You joked that he should write only to receive his deep chuckle. "I don't have the time but maybe I can commission you to pen a biography for me." 

You never blushed so much before. He trusted you of all people to write something so important? Surely he was joking. You discovered while talking with Bruce that he had a good sense of humor. 

You hoped your words didn't insult him. "Well I would need to study you and your life in detail to make it authentic. And no offense Mr. Wayne, but that would take quite a bit of time.. time you don't have." 

He smiled at that. "That's true but," Bruce brought his glass up to his lips as if you weren't waiting for his response with bated breath. "I thought I told you to call me Bruce, Y/n." 

"Oh right um B-Bruce. I'd love to write your biography but the matter of time in which to study you is still an issue." 

Instincts should have warned you. Common sense all but threw it in your face but in that moment you didn't put the puzzle pieces together. Bruce liked you. 

He reached out to tuck a wayward curl of hair behind your ear. His fingertips left a slight burning sensation on the curve of your ear and it made your entire body freeze up. 

"Ask of me anything. I will defy my own will to grant your desires." Bruce cited with a confident grin. 

"Did you just quote.." You were beyond speechless.

No one quoted The Greeks Among Us to you before. It was the second book of your oeuvre and the most neglected due to its Greek mythology and ambiguous ending. The fact he quoted it perfectly and from memory confirmed that Bruce was truly a fan of your work. 

"I can make time for you, Y/n. Do you have a pen and paper?"  

You nodded robotically. A writer without a pen and paper wasn't worth her salt. The tiny clutch you carried was bottomless; a sticky pad was given to Bruce along with your favorite ballpoint pen. He jotted something down and handed everything back to you while ignoring your eyebrow dipping in confusion.

"Call me whenever you're ready to begin." He was going to flirt a bit more but Dick appeared and whispered something in Bruce's ear. 

From the dark look that schooled his features, whatever he was being briefed on wasn't good. 

Bruce left you with a warm smile and a suggestion, more like a command, to call the night short and go home. You were tired and Cindy was busy rubbing shoulders with the stiff suits on your behalf. You weren't needed here so you took Bruce's advice and went home.

Little did you know not even five minutes after you left the party, it was robbed by local criminals looking to strike it rich. An unfortunate but normal occurrence that happens in this city. Another thing its citizens simply adapt to.

You on the other hand were still new to Gotham. Next month would be your one year anniversary of moving to this living hell. But your dreams were possible here. You could live a relatively normal life surrounded by your books. The very stack of books you almost tripped over while dancing.

You quickly corrected your balance to avoid a nasty fall and decided to stop dancing for now. Everything was all fun and games until someone got hurt.

The rain was still beating against the windows outside. During your deep reflective thoughts the rain had picked up from its light drizzle to the steady downpour you had predicted earlier.

Johnny Charisma was now crooning in your apartment and your tote bag was still lying open on the couch waiting for more items to be shoved inside. 

You blinked rapidly trying to remember what you were doing before your brain went down a rabbit hole but came up short. You shook your head but in the process you spotted the breaking news banner on your tv. 

It wasn't unusual for you to keep it on as you worked kinda like a much needed break for your overworked eyes.

As if the tv screen was any better than your laptop but with the tv muted your brain had space to think unrestricted. You found the tv remote and raised the volume. Immediately the news anchorwoman's voice flooded the room.

"...The Joker has once again escaped from Arkham Asylum custody and is at large at the current hour. We do not have any leads as to how he escaped the infamous island but police personnel are once again advising all citizens to shelter in place until he is arrested, effective immediately. We are uncertain of how long the curfew will last but we can confirm The Joker has killed six people during his escape. Commissioner Jim Gordon has not responded to any comments about the Asylum employee in critical condition but we will update you if he does. All of us here in Gotham expect to see Batman's signal in the sky tonight and in the many nights to come. Reporting live from GCN.."

You muted the tv coverage. Great. Just wonderful! Another curfew for the city in fear, all over a clown. When would your fellow citizens begin to see these criminals for what they truly were, normal human beings crying out for help?

Maybe because you were an optimist or perhaps just touched in the head, but you had no fear for these so-called criminals who tormented the city. Blüdhaven was far worse. It housed the rejects of Gotham trying to restart their lives.

Your neighbors growing up were serial killers. You went to school with their children. Most of your family members still had active lives in crime and your old unpublished work was based off of their stories. Crime was all around you growing up, so what was the purpose of a curfew for just one person?

So what if Joker was running wild in the city? The odds of you meeting were lower than one percent.

Although you did need groceries.. so it might bounce up to 0.5 percent if you took a trip to the store.

Whether it be a natural disaster, normal grocery shopping, or a current shelter in place curfew, Gotham citizens always stocked up like Armageddon was coming. The shelves would be empty by dinnertime if you didn't go now.

Another glance out the window made you sigh. "My hair is gonna get wet." At least the rain would buy you some time before the rush hour crowd clocked out from work.

You groaned but shuffled to your kitchen while grabbing a pad of paper to make a quick list. You had the basic kitchen essentials like milk, bread, and eggs but if this writer's block was anything like its counterpart from the beginning of the year, you needed a plethora of snacks to hold you over.

Since it was Thursday you jotted down ingredients for a hearty, rainy weekend dinner and wrote down a few other things you were low on. Drinks, chips.. ingredients to make some homemade desserts and hopefully they stocked up on your favorite fruits to make a fruit bowl. Your tiny list quickly grew but you rather be safe than sorry. Of course the city curfew was lax but you didn't feel like leaving the house anytime soon once you settled yourself indoors.

You needed to get motivated and start a new work. Not only to save your lapsing contract but for your own sanity. A day spent without writing felt like torture to you.

Your hands itched to type or research a source, anything! As the next song played on in the background, you ventured to your room to get dressed for the rain.

Your closet was a treasure trove of finds ranging from foreign designer threads, to thrift store overalls, to lazy day sweats, but today you decided on an off duty model look for your shopping trip.

You fished out your cobalt blue leather pants and your thigh high snakeskin boots, nodding at your vision. No oversized cloggy rain boots here, you stepped out in style.

The rain was a permanent feature here in Gotham but it never stood in the way of a killer outfit. A simple white crop top was added to your ensemble before you dug out your floor length puffer raincoat you bought on an urge. It was slate grey with blue undertones that would work perfectly with your bold colored pants.

Just because it was dull and gloomy outside didn't mean you had to be.

You twirled around in the mirror nodding to yourself at a job well done. All you needed now was some silver hoop earrings and a way to style your hair.

In its current state it was bound to get wet and curl up on you so you decided to rock the wild frizzy look until the wheels fell off. Wash and go's were another permanent fixture in your life. Hair day would have to be tomorrow; no more putting it off.

With a final outfit check in the mirror your tote bag was thrown over your shoulder along with your phone being shoved into its designed side pocket.

Your list was tucked away from the rain and you locked your apartment before riding the elevator down to the front lobby and making small talk with a neighbor as they walked by.

"It's another rainy one huh?!"

They were soaking wet and that made you cringe and open your umbrella as you walked outside. The rainfall was steady. Could be worse, but you took it in stride.

The congested sidewalks and honks from taxi cabs to the distant police sirens in the city were background noise compared to the loud pitter patter of rain. It had a way of hogging all of the attention as it washed over the city and drowned out the hustle and bustling noises of Gotham. A peaceful reprieve in the city of crime.

You boarded the subway without any issues. Your puffy coat and umbrella shielded you from the rain unlike the other passengers you spotted on your way to the station. Gotham citizens either chose to shield from the rain or to embrace it.

The ones who chose to embrace the weather were in various states of wetness. Some were bone dry like you or soaked completely through but most were in between, neither wet nor dry.

It made no sense to expose yourself to the elements, possible illnesses, and overall discomfort simply because you didn't want to carry an umbrella.

It was Gotham; a little rainwater wouldn't kill ya but a random citizen most definitely would and probably enjoy themselves while doing it. The city you moved to...

A calm feminine voice announced your stop. You hadn't moved from your standing position by the door and you were the first person out when the subway doors slid open. Living in Gotham for almost a year educated you on the tips and secrets necessary to stay safe.

Every adult has their favorite grocery store where they memorized the store layout and/or knows the butchers and other workers. That was normal right?

If not, you didn't care. This store was a little on the pricier side but their selection of food was worth it.

You entered the store, shaking your umbrella dry before sliding it into the storage area; a normal amenity in a rainy city like Gotham. Upon paying the small renting fee for a shopping cart, you pushed it around the front of the store as you dug out your shopping list and pen.

"Don't look at the fresh flowers, Y/n. You don't need any more flowers.. stick to your list!" Although you fought temptation, you still ended up in the florist section browsing through the vast options.

Your mind was working overtime to save you from your impending writer's block. Dancing around the apartment didn't work so it moved onto buying pretty things with the hopes of baking sweet treats if the flowers failed.

The florist saw your wandering eye and waved from behind the counter. "Hi Y/n! Care for your favorite bouquet?" She turned to get started when your undecided tone graced her ears.

"Nah, not today Morgana. Can you surprise me this time? I'm thinking something bright and whimsical to promote some motivation." You eyed the single stems on display and knew she would work her magic yet again. Morgana never disappointed you.

She smiled brightly. "Free creative reign?"

"Duh of course! I'm gonna shop around but I'll come back and pick them up when I'm done. Have fun; there's no limit."

From one artist to another you knew your words sparked the match in Morgana's mind.

Her brown eyes sparkled brighter than her smile. You heard her long ponytail whip through the air from how fast she turned to begin. She looked like a woman on a mission, already grabbing stems to form a base. You smiled and pushed your cart towards the produce section to start shopping.

Oddly enough, the shelves were still relatively stocked but you did beat the 5PM work crowd. You took your time and stuck to your list browsing through the options. You were debating between two packets of meat when your phone rang.

"Oh geez.. who could that be?" Dropping both packets inside your cart to free up your hands, you quickly answered your phone. "Hello?"

"Thank God you answered! Did you not get my text messages Y/n?!" Barbara's frantic voice sounded off in your ear until you pulled it back to check your phone. Lo and behold, ten plus messages increasing in worry from being ignored greeted you.

"Oops.." You scrolled through other messages as you waited for Barbara to scold you.

Sure enough, "That's it? All I get is an oops? Anyways.. I've been trying to reach you. Did you hear about the-"

You totally forgot you were in the grocery store. A sharp ahem drew your attention away from Barbara's phone call to a middle aged woman trying to get by with her buggy.

Your apologies meant nothing to her but you did your best to get out of her way. She snatched a whole chicken out of the bin and gave you the stink eye until she turned the corner. Who peed in her cereal?

"...Y/n? Y/n, can you hear me?!"

Where was your brain today? You scrambled back onto the phone. "Yes, I'm here Barbara! I'm at the store and this Karen caught an attitude. You were saying?" Her fingers missed a key creating a familiar noise. One you memorized by now.

"Does anyone honor my dad's curfew?" She sighed.

You added a packet of beef to your cart. "Nope."

"I see." Barbara said. "But people should be indoors where it's safe!"

It was your turn to sigh. Pushing your cart towards the non-perishables, you picked up a few boxes of baker's chocolate and stocked up on flour and sugar. "No offense Barb but when isn't The Joker free? I'm still relatively new to the city and I don't get the hype for a shelter in place. It's just one guy.."

"Who killed nineteen people in half an hour." Her rhythmic passes across the keyboard started up again and each key echoed loudly in your ear. Maybe you could gift Barbara a new keyboard for Christmas, preferably one with silent keys. The body count however had you confused so you asked.

"Nineteen?! The news said he only killed six."

"Y/n, my dad's the Commissioner. Please tell me you don't believe anything GCN reports? Let me guess, they used their favorite lie, "Commissioner Gordon has not responded to any comments, but hey we didn't reach out to him in the first place to receive such a response!" You kept quiet on your end.

"Your silence confirms it. I can't believe people will listen to GCN before they believe the words of my father, who is the Commissioner! Please go home, Y/n. At least for me? I don't know what I'd do if you were hurt." Barbara mumbled.

You came to a stop in the middle of the store. Her words touched you deeply for you never had a friend growing up that cared about your safety. You led a lonely life but you were slowly opening up and letting people in it.

"Awww love you too Barb! I'm almost done shopping. I promise I'll head straight home. Remember my contract lapse is creeping up so I really need to get into my writing mode and produce something. I promise I won't be going anywhere until Joker is captured or I have a book idea drafted."

You turned down the snack aisle and selected various goods to join your growing cart. Somewhere in between your phone call with Barbara you did away with your list and got whatever you wanted.

Sure you might have some trouble carrying it all back home but you needed more food than what you originally planned.

Who knows how long recapturing Joker might take but you knew it would take even longer for you to draft a story with your current uninspired mind.

"Thank you Y/n. I can work in peace knowing you're safe."

A few more pleasantries were exchanged over the phone before you and Barbara hung up. The rest of your shopping trip went by uneventfully and you purchased your items including the fresh cut flowers that Morgana arranged. She was nervous about your reaction which was completely unnecessary. You would buy thorns and dead roots if she arranged them, the woman was a genius.

A beautiful bouquet of white roses coupled with ivory and lavender mixed elegantly between thistle leaves and blue snapdragons. She added Veronica's and purple scabiosas to round off the display. It looked and smelled delightful. You hoped it would liven up your apartment and boost your creativity.

You declined the store's offer to help deliver your purchases to your residence, (you weren't poor, but definitely not rich enough to afford the tab) and heaved the four heavy bags, two in each arm, with your umbrella hoisted in your grip out the store. Your flowers were wrapped in brown kraft paper and tucked securely in your tote bag. It was a struggle, but you made it back home without getting robbed, soaking wet, and without dropping and/or losing anything.

The first thing you did when you stepped inside was turn on your record player for background noise to unpack to.

Everything had a place and slid neatly into it. Your flowers survived the trip although being slightly smushed on the subway ride. No major damage, so you trimmed the stems before giving them a proper home in your favorite flower vase.

From your writing desk you could smell their sweet aroma. You opted to move your work space from your spare guest room out to the living room to give you the perfect view out the floor length windows you loved so much. The people walking in the park outside and on the city streets below allowed your mind to wander and take a break while you typed.

You loved your apartment's layout and so did Barbara the many times she came over. The open space was ideal for her wheelchair and she was also a big fan of the bright yet cozy aesthetic your place showcased.

Speaking of the redhead. Now that you were fully settled, you sent a text to Barb letting her know you were safe.

An immediate buzz announced her thanks along with a promise to try and check in with you later. She mentioned being super busy tonight and that might impede her promise but she would try her hardest to honor it.

No worries! If not we can talk tomorrow :) 

You hit send and tossed your phone onto the desk. A vanilla beeswax candle was lit and a bowl of snacks from the store sat to the left of your laptop with a drink. The scene was set and with you tucked away inside from the rain, all you needed to do was start writing.

. . . . . .

But nothing came. A few hours had passed in your failed attempt at writing. Staring at the empty word document, the cursor blinked slower than normal as if taunting your lack of progress.

You didn't type a single word but the entire bowl of snacks was gone. Your candle was halfway burned through and the rain outside had let up to its original light trickle.

"This is going nowhere." You said.

You buried your face in your hands and groaned. "Focus, Y/n! Pull ya self together. No need to flesh out an entire story. All Cindy needs.. no, all I need is an idea. The rest will come later. It always does."

You glanced over at your mood board hoping for a spark. The designated white wall was devoid of clippings or other media of art. "Oh, I didn't update that." You picked up your phone only to see the low battery alert staring back at you.

"That's what I get for not charging all day." You inserted the charger into your phone, holding back a few frustrated tears.

All your normal avenues of inspiration weren't working all except for one. You were tempted but you promised Barbara you wouldn't.

You promised you wouldn't leave the apartment until you started a rough draft. Although you couldn't start a story you weren't motivated to write. The loophole presented itself.

A quick glance at the clock made you cringe. It was well after midnight but this was your golden hour. What harm could a ten minute walk do? You could walk a few blocks down to Repp Street and be back before anything dangerous happened. But you did make a promise…

"No walking around the city at odd hours of the night" but what Barbara didn't know wouldn't kill her. You needed a walk to clear your head and get the gears upstairs back a turning. Nothing bad would happen! As a writer you should've known better. You probably just jinxed yourself. 

Regardless if something did happen, you made an executive decision to go anyways and blew out your candle before shuffling over to your rain boots.

You put them on along with your puffy grey jacket from before and stepped out of the apartment. Your keys were still in your pocket so you walked down the hallway to the stairwell.

You didn't share the floor with anyone but Ms. Langstrom downstairs was adamant she could hear you walking back and forth at night. The old scientist forgot there was a whole maintenance floor separating you from everyone else. It was one of the many pros of owning the penthouse.

A con was the elevator didn't run this late. No matter how much the rent was in this middle-upper class building, they put restrictions on its hours of operation.

Just a short walk you told yourself, (the eleven flights of stairs didn't count) a couple of blocks around the corner, and then back, that's it.

It didn't dawn on you that you left your phone charging on your desk or that your alleged two blocks turned into a full walking exercise over the bridge to Somerset and into Chinatown.

You never walked this far on foot before but with your scattered brain the distance was nothing. The smell from the Chinese street vendors and restaurants wafted in the air, clearing up your thoughts and stimulating your imagination.

You haven't penned a historical fantasy book yet. Warm wonton soup, splashes of calligraphy ink across stark white ancient scrolls, and the distant twine of an Erhu played, on or was that sirens?

Sure enough you broke out of your trance to the sound of police sirens in the distance. Six GCPD cruises flew down the street giving you a mini heart attack but you were grateful for the distraction.

"Wait, how did I get here?" You looked left and right taking in your surroundings. It seemed only a few minutes had passed when in reality, it was almost two hours.

Red, yellow, and purple neon lights in traditional Hanzi characters flashed on every building and colorful streamers hanging from the rooftops enclosed the street, giving it a cozy and intimate feeling. It was a town of color vastly different from the bleak streets of Gotham. Ornate dragon statues stared back at you behind piles of trash and strings of red paper lanterns shined brilliantly from the rainstorm.

Inspiration was all around you waiting to be documented. You had an idea. Right now. You patted your pockets for your phone to jot them down, but froze.

"Where? Oh no. No no no no!!" If you didn't write this idea down it would fade away with no hope of returning. Where is your phone?! 

A vision of your sought after device charging at home popped in your mind. "Dang it!" Just your luck you forget to bring it!

In your anger you didn't notice the approaching figure. You kept searching through your empty pockets, (like that would do you any good) right into the stranger.

Somehow in the tumble his, or was it your balance, gave way and both of you crashed onto the pavement. Thankfully a few trash bags cushioned your fall, thus staining your coat, but that was the least of your worries.

Hovering above you was Gotham City’s worst nightmare: The Joker. Up close he wasn't as scary as the media painted him out to be. What terrified you the most was the 9 mm digging into your forehead.

It clicked off the safety right as his voice warned you.

"Make any noise and I'll blow your pretty little head off." His other hand gestured wildly to mimic your brain exploding before righting his balance above you.

You nodded as police dogs barked loudly and pulled their owners past the alleyway you and Joker fell into. Was it a blessing they didn't find you or a curse? More sirens and shouts rang out, getting closer and closer. Maybe you would stand corrected.

"This way!" One officer yelled while leading the rest. A helicopter circulated above and flooded the area with light yet it narrowly missed the two of you as you hid in plain sight.

Joker's body weight pressed you further down towards the pavement almost like he heard your thoughts. He couldn't afford to get caught and he was pleasantly surprised you were keeping quiet as the police personnel went by.

Usually his hostages would be sobbing uncontrollably by now or babbling nonsense in their delirium. He definitely would have shot them for it but you? You were different.

You remained calm although he felt the way your heart beat wildly in your chest but that could all be chalked up to the normal adrenaline rush after a jog. Joker glanced down at your attire and knew that wasn't the case. You were dressed like a rich spoiled brat caught in the rain. Snakeskin boots and leather pants? Were you asking to get mugged?

He chose to ignore how your pants hugged your figure… and what a figure indeed..

You breathed a sigh of relief or perhaps of regret when the helicopter and police left the area. Joker berated himself for checking you out and not paying attention to the search party. For a moment everything was quiet until you remembered Joker was practically lying on top of you.

You also remembered his threat from earlier and dutifully kept your mouth shut but it was getting uncomfortable as the minutes passed.

Was he gonna leave and do whatever wanted fugitives did in their downtime? Your weekend was free but that didn't mean you had all night to spend lying in some dirty alley.

The one time you leave the apartment without your phone you would run into the very person the entire city wanted to avoid. Whatever happened to your one percent chance rate? The one time you didn't shelter in place.. this would happen!

Your annoyed sigh got Joker's attention. His hooded eyes flickered over to you and scanned your features.

You were definitely something to look at but he was a busy man. He couldn't get distracted by some normal citizen with a pretty face. Since when was the last time he admired a girl simply for her looks and not by her usefulness as a hostage? Well currently you were a hostage but he felt no urge to kill you. Yet.

There were other ways you could be useful. Joker shifted his weight and even with his high tolerance for pain he couldn't hold back his low groan

The unexpected noise made you blink and break his orders. "Um.. are you okay?"

Silence. 'Well duh. What else were you expecting, Y/n? A response?'

He didn't pull the trigger or reprimand you so you pressed your luck again but right as you parted your lips to speak, he rolled off you. Was it wrong to miss his weight on you? Were you finally losing it? He did feel kinda nice– warm and solid, smelling faintly of rain and gunpowder, a shockingly good combination.

You watched as he awkwardly fell onto his side next to you. If he didn't want to answer your question fine, but you knew something was wrong.

Joker's gun was no longer pointed at your forehead, allowing you to sit up and search for the cause of his grunt. The red glow from Chinatown illuminated the narrow alleyway that you and Joker rested in and upon first glance, he looked fine.

The GCN’s news prioritized the deaths and injuries of the Asylum workers but failed to report Joker's condition. Not like anyone cared but somehow in his escape he sustained some kind of injury.

Laying on his side you noticed he favored his left leg more and now that you got a closer look at him, you saw that he was bleeding.

"Oh um you're bleeding!" Your head snapped up hearing his sarcastic laugh, though it sounded more winded than it usually did on tv. "As one typically does when.. ah shot."

"Y-You've been shot? Where? How did you run from the cops with a..."

"Ahtttt." Joker waved his gun in your face. That was one way to end a conversation.

Here you were trying to be a Good Samaritan and forgot who you were talking to. "This isn't my first rodeo toots. It's just a scratch." To prove his point, Joker jumped to his feet, scaring you with his agility before rightened his suit jacket and looking ready to leave.

You almost believed his act until his leg buckled under its own weight when he tried to walk away. You sprung into action and caught him– well you kept him upright, the wall behind you did most of the catching.

Joker's appearance was tall and lanky but as you held him up you discovered the truth. He was all muscle underneath his tailored suits and haunting visage. You didn't know how to process that new information and wisely steered the conversation elsewhere.

"You need a doctor." You huffed out. Your face was so close to Joker's that you saw his tongue dart out to lick the outline of his grease paint.

"No, I don'T." He stressed the t in don't.

You noticed that Joker articulated certain words to get his point across during his theatrical conversations and deep monologues. As an author you found his speech pattern very intriguing but right now he was being stubborn. "Yes you do."

"Hmm. Me and my.. uh primary care doctor never quite goT along. Let's just say.. he's no longer accepting new patients, if you know what I mean." You did. This was the infamous Joker you were talking to. The physician was probably dead and decomposing in the Gotham River.

But while that disturbing thought danced around in your head, the constant reminder that Joker still had his gun and most likely plenty of other weapons on him failed to deter your crazy decision.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you blurted out the invitation. "My apartment is in Old Gotham. Do you think you can make it that far?"

'Stupid stupid stupid! You have officially lost your mind!' Your inner self screamed after your suggestion. How dumb could you be inviting Joker to your place? This was not a tea party at a slumber party!

Joker was... well The Joker– a madman that killed because it was fun and you opened your mouth and invited him over. The awkward silence stretched on as you waited for his response or for your death. Whichever came first.

"Harboring a fugitive, are you sureee about that?" He asked. You could hear the grin in his words, slick like oil.

"Well, you do have me at gunpoint. I don't think I can just up and leave now can I?"

He let out a chuckle or was it a masked cough? Just how bad were his injuries? "Pretty and smart, I like that." He stood straight, taking you with him, and poked your rib cage with his gun. "Lead the way."

How the two of you managed to walk from Chinatown back to your apartment with Joker’s injured leg shocked you. Even at 2AM the streets were busy with people yet you kept to the backstreets and stayed in the darkness to avoid being spotted.

Joker cracked morbid jokes the entire walk back and when you two crossed the bridge over into Old Gotham, he quickly noted which direction you were leading him to.

"Now here I thought we were, uh, getting along. Care to ex-plain why we're headed towards GCPD?" You froze, feeling his gun dig into your side again.

Thankfully you stopped in an alleyway near Repp street.

Ironic, since this was your original stopping point for your walk but you kept going and ultimately landed in the mess you were in now. Supporting half of Joker's weight while being paranoid at being caught. The realization of how far you walked mentally and physically tired you out. Joker's gun was the last thing on your mind when you turned and snapped at him.

"My apartment is on Quinn street overlooking Grant Park. I'm not dumb enough to lure you to the police, Joker. It just so happens that I live in the same vicinity.

"Ah, so you're just dumb enough to help me. Gotcha."

You sighed and kicked off the building you were resting on. With your arm around Joker's waist and the other keeping his arm around your shoulder, you chose to ignore his insult.

"We're almost there. See?" You nodded up the street to a cluster of apartment buildings. "Do you see that white building with the all glass roof? That's my place, it's the next block over. C'mon."

Maybe the adrenaline rush helped or maybe you were that anxious to get home, but it felt like you teleported Joker to your apartment only to run into another problem. The lobby staff was gone for the day so you didn't have to worry about being outed. The problem was the elevator itself.

Joker noticed your hesitation and rolled his eyes. "What now? Aren't we going inside?" You made eye contact with the Prince of Crime and in your panic, explained.

"The elevator doesn't work at night." He licked his lips, giving you another flash of his tongue. He saw where your eyes dropped to and leaned in closer.

"Will that be a.. mmm, problem for us?" He finally had a moment to appreciate your fear.

A shame it wasn't directed towards him but he admired it all the same.

Your doe eyes took on a pinched edge and the color darkened a few shades as you tried to strategize. Oh but he loved your wild untamed curls that shook about your head. The humidity finally got a hold of them and he happened to like its chaotic state. Though he took an issue with the abuse you doled out on your bottom lip.

He tsked to himself and playfully slapped your cheek. You jumped at the contact. "Hey, hey. Look at me! There she is... Now, will thaT be a problem?"

"Y-Your leg... I live on the top floor."

You watched Joker sigh and crack his neck. It made for a scary sight and you knew nothing good would follow it. Imagine your surprise when he scratched his forehead with his gun (did he not value his life?) and shooed you with it. "Show me."

"Huh? Show you what?" Joker escaped your hold and stood on his own. "Uh.. the elevator, sweetheart."

"B-But.."

"Shhh shh shhhh." He cooed to you softly. "Trust me on this. I'm a man of many talents." His dark glare hinted to those many talents, some you didn't wish to think about..

You nodded and after glancing around for witnesses, ran to the front door with Joker hot on your heels.

You used the nighttime keycard to grant you access and the low hum of the door opening and then closing steadied your pounding heart. You looked over your shoulder seeing nothing but darkness himself patiently waiting for your next move.

Right the elevator. You walked towards the lift and sighed. "Like I said, it doesn't work after midnight. I'm sorry but we'll have to take the stairs."

"Gimme that." Joker said, already snatching your keycard out of your hand.

He flipped it over, inspecting the black device and then the lift and its power pad. You wondered how he was going to override the restriction but he was The Joker for a reason. In less than two minutes he cracked some invisible code and the elevator whirled to life on its way to come pick you up.

You lived here almost a year and never could get the lift to work after midnight. "How did you do that?"

The door chimed open waiting for its passengers, offering much needed light to the dark lobby however Joker adopted his sinister persona again and slowly backed you into the elevator. Your back hit the mirrored wall with Joker coming to a stop in front of you.

You were at a loss in front of his towering height. He didn't break eye contact with you as he stabbed the twelfth floor button on the panel.

Cornered. That's how you felt trapped in an elevator with Gotham City's deadliest criminal. His eyes took on a more greener hue in the artificial lighting and you couldn't look away. His black war paint was smudged a bit from his sweat and it bled into the white, and the distressed look made him even more menacing.

Once again your gaze dropped to his mouth where his scars were covered with red paint. It was probably the adrenaline still raging but you boldly lifted your hand up to touch them. That is until Joker grabbed your wrist.

He looked disappointed for a split second until he perked up with an eerie smile. "You wanna know how I got these scars?" He craned his neck, showing them off but your eyes flickered up to the elevator floor dial indicator flashing two.. three..

"Why won't you look at meee, hmm? Do they scare you?" You turned to Joker with furrowed brows.

"What? No, I actually like them. They remind me of the scars Bill gave.. was it Jess? No, Mallorie at the retreat lodge." You held back your laughter at Joker's deadpan look.

"I'm a writer. I-I write things, m-mostly books and your scars reminds me of a character I created in-"

"Will Hunter Bill. I should've recognized that face of yours. You're Y/n L/n."

Why did your name sound so alluring when he said it? You would think about that later, shock was hitting you full force right now.

"You know me?"

"Hmm." He pretended to think and curled a strand of your hair around his finger in the process. The elevator was slowly creeping up toward your floor but not fast enough. There was only so much of Joker in this close proximity that you could handle.

"You wrote… Distracted By Her Justice did you noT?" He put emphasis on his t's again. His pronunciation of certain words almost made you snicker but the words itself caused your brain to screech to a halt.

Distracted By Her Justice was the first novel you ever wrote during a small internship back home in Blüdhaven. Cindy had yet to discover you but she read the short story and hired you because of it. You then went on to write a few lesser known books and your current hit series WHB.

The fact Joker knew about Her Justice let alone read it horrified you. "How do you know about my first published work?"

Joker swayed on his feet but had enough energy to cup your face. His touch was gentle at first until he tightened his grip on your chin. His unpredictable mood swings scared you as the elevator grew closer and closer to your floor.

What did you get yourself into? You noticed his face paint also covered the inside of his mouth this close up. Maybe that was the reason he licked his lips so much? But why would he wear something that's uncomfortable?

Ignore the fact that you noticed. Seriously, what was your fixation with his mouth? You had other things to worry about like the way Joker sagged his weight on you between the 9th and 10th floor.

He sighed and pressed you more into the elevator wall. You didn't know it but Joker's energy was waning and fast.

Before he bumped into you, his henchmen were doing a terrible job at escaping the authorities. He broke out of Arkham around lunchtime but it took forever getting off the island and back to the mainland. They took refuge in an abandoned warehouse until an anonymous tip ratted them out. Joker's plan was to retreat back to Amusement Mile but GCPD were swarming the place awaiting his arrival. He hated being on the run and the pouring rain wasn't helping his mood.

Another move towards Otisburg resulted in a shootout with the police and although Joker lost a few of his men, he killed more of Gotham's finest.

Yet the shootout continued. Joker hated guns. They were too quick and he didn't get to savor a kill but he was wise enough not to bring a knife to a gunfight. His mind didn't register he was shot until a henchman pointed it out. It was more of a nuisance than anything, but he managed to escape with only three goons at the end of things.

Two would scout ahead while the other secured a getaway car. Joker waited an hour. Then two, but after three hours without the scouts or the getaway car returning, he knew he was alone. Police sirens in the distance made him laugh aloud. Gordon and his men were working overtime tonight.

If he wasn't sporting a nasty gunshot wound, Joker probably would have stayed in his makeshift hideout but he needed medical attention and fast. Wherever this bullet was lodged wasn't good. Perhaps a hostage could help in his situation but before he could scope out his surroundings, his location was compromised. The Canine unit had found his scent and forced him out of the warehouse and onto the streets of Chinatown.

'Head north towards West Mercy Hospital. Snatch a resident on their smoke break; anyone would do.' Joker knew his plan was foolproof but he didn't factor in his blood loss or you getting in the way.

He bumped into you and his remaining energy just gave out. He lost consciousness periodically during your interaction together but you didn't seem to notice.

He was a good actor after all and quickly took control of the situation. Joker was about to force you into finding him a doctor but you surprised him with your offer of staying at your apartment. He checked you out far too many times tonight; he knew rich people when he saw one. Paired with your naïve heart and generosity, this would be too easy.

Only problem? You weren't afraid of him or his dangerous personality, nothing scared you away.

Joker liked that. You were a challenge to crack and ultimately break. Being held at gunpoint shocked you at first but overtime your muscles relaxed and you didn't shy away from his presence, if anything on the walk to your place you snuggled up closer to him.

He noticed your stolen glances and how your eyes always wandered back to his mouth. You were intrigued by him. Like an innocent lamb trying to befriend the lion.

Joker didn't have any plans after escaping Arkham but riding an elevator up to one of his favorite author's place wasn't on the agenda.

He was a man of chaos but also of literature. Studying people's psyche and predicting their next move before it happened took a high level of intelligence. Joker didn't care for elaborate plans (okay maybe just a few) but he liked to be knowledgeable and reading literature regardless of the genre, helped him immensely.

He stumbled upon your oeuvre by chance and read your books in order. He enjoyed The Greeks Among Us for its ambiguous ending.

Would Thaleia embrace her hatred for her own people and annihilate them all or descend back to the human realm to die with her revenge unsatisfied? He loved how the reader got to pick which open ending to believe.

His favorite book of yours was Distracted By Her Justice. You dived deep into the social and political injustices within Gotham but covered up the controversial views by making the characters high school students learning about romance.

It read like a teen romcom but Joker and other like minded individuals knew better. Almost all of your books had a double meaning behind the flowery rom-com plot. He desperately wanted to meet you and talk about your philosophies but why would a normal citizen like you want to meet him? It would never happen.

Then you wrote Will Hunter Bill. Joker knew then you were a scholar under-appreciated in this era. And so young! He could only imagine what you would write as you matured. Your books were based on real life issues that were swept under the rug here in Gotham City and for once he thought someone would blow the whistle and expose them.

Standing in this elevator with you as your e/c eyes took him in, he felt ridiculous for thinking it, but you were probably the only person capable and bold enough to do it.

Unfortunately Joker lost too much blood and he wasn't thinking straight. You were nothing but a naïve little girl reaching out in horror to catch him. Wait..

"Joker! Are you okay?! Please say something!" Just a few seconds ago he was alright, (albeit lost in thought) and staring off to the side.

You knew he was looking at something beyond this elevator when his eyes rolled back and he began to fall.

You caught him for the second time tonight and with perfect timing. The elevator arrived at the twelfth floor of your apartment. The doors opened with a soft ding that gave your stomach butterflies.

You were finally home 

Just a few more feet and you would be at your front door. You took a deep breath and used the last of your adrenaline to adjust Joker's weight in your arms and half carried, half dragged the psychotic clown to your door 

Joker mumbled something inaudible as you fumbled with the key. He was resting on your pocket that held it but after some careful maneuvering, you fished them out. You got it through the lock and with a twist, a gush of cold vanilla scented air hit you before gravity worked its magic and he started leaning towards the floor 

"No no no turn left! Go left!" Somehow you guided Joker to your couch before he slipped into unconsciousness, leaving you alone with a wanted criminal in your apartment. Reality kicked in fast.

"Oh my God. I'm harboring a fugitive."

[dangertoozmanykids101]

Mistaken: An Arranged Marriage Bratva Romance, by Arianna Fraser (aka @caffiend-queen )

Look what arrived last night!!! Written by our very own brilliant @caffiend-queen !!

I love the cover my dear. But of course we all know that our main anti-hero / dastardly villain / antagonistic Adonis REALLY looks like, don't we y'all.

The REAL Maksim Morozov

I continue to ramble and swoon over this book and its characters after the break below. I've chosen gifs to fit my mental picture and a theme song I've assigned to @caffiend-queen 's book.

Walking with his bodyguard.

Always on the phone.

Weight of society's underbelly rests on his shoulders. Wide wide broad muscular shoulders that block out the sun when he towers over his beautiful Ella Givens, our brilliant protagonist and heroine in this story.

And the Real Yuri Morozov - Maksim's second hand man and cheeky loyal brother.

Don't forget, he's Maksim's right hand man. So dangerous!! *Gulp.

He's the personable friendly brother. He's the lucky one who doesn't have to strike fear in everyone ALL THE TIME. He's allowed to smile and laugh sometimes. OMG I WANT TO FUCK THE BROTHER! I'm Team Yuri all the way!! Am I allowed to call out a Team Yuri?

Damn. It would have been so much easier to pick out the right image if the characters were simple and two dimensional. RIGHT?

But like all of @caffiend-queen 's characters - these two men - two terrifying, beautiful, brave, ruthless, loyal, sexy, kinky, fucked up, violent, infuriating men have a lifetime of experiences that add up to who they are today. There are so many moods, so many hats, so many roles they play with every different character, who they are to them, how they act with them. How much they reveal and when. When do they let their guard down versus when they don't. In the end, the men are just living roles they were dealt within the world they were born into. Trying to survive, thrive even, and take care of their family.

OMG.... The ACTION SCENES!! This is so intense I've been on the edge of my seat!

Y'all gotta read this!!!

Check in with @caffiend-queen for info. It hit the 'bookshelves' just this month. Both e-book and the hard copy. I love it!

One morning I heard the PERFECT theme song for the chapters I'd been reading the night before. The entire drive to school and back I had to play it multiple times. (And it's now my son's favorite song, so he has been requesting it specifically each car ride for a couple weeks. It goes to say that the whole family can sing it word for word by this point.)

I'm so excited to have all y'all listen to it and tell me if you can see the intense action scenes from the book play out in your mind like they do in mine when this song plays. Please let me know what you think??

Give And Take, by Poor Man's Poison.

Someday I'm gonna show up on your doorstep, @caffiend-queen , with a huge box of all your books I've collected over the years for you to sign for me. :-) I can't wait!

Spread the word and boost this signal. REBLOG PLEASE. Support and promote our sister. All her profits go to the local Crisis Nursery in her city. Such a wonderful way to support them and help families in crisis. Again check in with @caffiend-queen for the exact details.

@nildespirandum @emeraldrosequartz @ladyoftheteaandblood @alexakeyloveloki @tilltheendwilliwrite @jtargaryen18 @imanuglywombat @myoxisbroken @lokisgoodgirl @devikafernando @threeminutesoflife @talklokitome @latent-thoughts @mooncat163 @nonsensicalobsessions @angelriverwrites @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @frostbitten-written @just-the-hiddles @redfoxwritesstuff @imnotrevealingmyname @shiningloki @grufflepuff-writes-stuff @so-easy-to-love-me @wolfsmom1 @what-is-your-plan-today

[writinginthesecrettrees]

Gotta love when the police leave a man who just SHOT HIS WIFE alone. Just let him stay free.

"We're monitering the case," they say. "It doesn't mean he won't be arrested."

Worth noting that the shooter is a retired officer.

"There's nothing we've seen that indicates there's a danger to people there," they say, as if the man didn't shoot his wife. As if the man who refused all attempts at communication is in any way safe for the community.

If I was his wife (who thankfully survived to be taken to a hospital, whose injuries are thankfully NOT life-threatening) I would not feel safe.

(full article text below cut)

A man who allegedly locked himself inside his Pleasant Hill home, shot his wife through a closed door and refused to talk to police negotiators has been left alone after an hours-long standoff.

At about 7 p.m. Thursday, officers were sent to a home in the 200 block of Cleopatra Drive, where they found a woman who had been shot through a locked garage door while she was trying to get into her house, according to Pleasant Hill police.

She was allegedly shot by her husband, who police say fired a single shot from a shotgun.

She was treated at a hospital for injuries that aren't considered life-threatening and was later released.

The man was later identified as former Pittsburg police officer Chinliam Saechao.

Saechao stayed in the house while SWAT team members secured the area, according to police.

For several hours afterward, Saechao allegedly refused to communicate with crisis negotiators who tried to contact him via telephone and loudspeaker, police said in a news release Friday.

At about 2 a.m., the SWAT team "disengaged from the scene and the husband was left alone" inside the house, police said.

"The case is still active, it doesn't mean he won't be arrested. We're monitoring the area," said Pleasant Hill Police Lt. Jason Kleven.

Kleven said officers left the immediate area in order to initiate "a little cooling-off period."

"With us there at his house, it makes tensions run a little bit higher," Kleven said. "We're not giving up the case or anything like that."

During the standoff, several streets around the home were closed to traffic, including both directions of nearby Monument Boulevard, and neighbors were asked to evacuate or shelter in place.

Also, Saechao continued to post to social media during and after the standoff, including some messages that police believe indicated he might be suicidal.

Since the SWAT team left, the surrounding streets were reopened, neighbors were allowed back into their homes and officers continue to reach out to the man, Kleven said.

"There's nothing we've seen that indicates there's a danger to people there," he said.

[scoutisnthome]

whats the lindworm???

Jay of jayberd fame you have no idea what you have done (unleashed my autism)

The lindworm is a creature (and my favorite little guy) originating in the Danish folktale of the prince lindworm, theoretically arriving in Denmark somewhere around the 1700s.

(read more for people who don't care about my prince lindworm synopsis)

What a lindworm is, is a basically a snake dragon thing? It's hard to describe because reports and descriptions vary in terms of how humanoid it is (my depictions of him air on the more monstrous naga side of things) but the common factor is "insanely huge snake".

The story for this specific lindworm goes that there was a childless king and queen in Denmark, the queen went on a walk in the forest one day and was approached by a witch.

The witch asked her what was wrong and when she said it was because she couldn't concieve the witch gave her a solution. She said to turn over two handled jugs in her garden and leave them over night. In the morning they will have a white rose and a red rose respectively. She should eat the red rose for a boy and a white rose for a girl, but never both.

The queen goes home not expecting much, but when she wakes in the morning she finds the promise roses! She goes back and forth but eventually decides on the white rose, eating it. But apparently said rose is so tasty that she eats the red rose too. Which as stated, is not a good idea .

The queen falls pregnant as promised, and gives birth while the king is at war. And instead of a baby boy or girl, her first child is a baby lindworm, which promptly skitters away into the darkness. The queen thinks she's hallucinating and moves on, giving birth to her second child, a son.

Years later, when the human son is older and ready to be married, he sets off which a horse and carriage to find a bride. The fully grown lindworm blocks his way saying "a bride for me before a bride for you". The younger prince promptly goes home and the queen goes "shit man I thought he was like a vision or something. He is technically the older son tho so I guess we gotta help him get married."

So they do that and they bring a princess from a foreign kingdom too marry the lindworm, which he promptly eats and demands a second bride because apparently it doesn't count. So the entire thing happens a second time with the same result. The king running out of disposable alliances approaches his shepherd, who has one daughter, asking the shepherd to allow his daughter to marry the lindworm. The shepherd refuses but the king doesn't take no for an answer.

So the shepherds daughter goes on a forest walk lamenting her death a little bit and is met by the same witch who talked with the queen. And the queen instructs her that if she is too survive her wedding night she should wear every shift she owns (presumed to be 10 or 9) and when the lindworm tells her to shed a shift (in order to eat her) she should respond by telling him to shed a skin and they go back and forth taking off layers for a while, and then when the shepherds girl is on her final shift she needs to hit him with the whips, throw the liquids at him, and hug him. If only for a moment. She agrees and starts preparations.

The wedding day comes and she is married to the lindworm. And after they are led to the wedding chamber the plan goes off basically without a hitch until the lindworm is a writhing mass on the ground (the body horror makes me insane). She whips him and throws the buckets and VERY NOTABLY IN MY MIND (I'm Ill about it) instead of just hugging him for a moment she picks him up, lays him on the bed and promptly falls asleep cuddling with him. That was NOT in the instructions that was a DELIBERATE act of kindness.

And then he wakes up as a prince and it's happily ever after I guess. But yeah I'm consistently Ill about the skin scene specifically because as stated 1. There were deliberate asks of kindness there on the shepherds girls part that were not required of her, 2. The lindworm isn't stupid at a certain point he HAD to realize what was happening, the fact that he didn't attack her then and there was a show of both immense vulnerability and trust, and 3. The intimacy of it all drives me nuts it's so good. Also something comedy about it is that when asked to remove a skin he says "no one has ever asked me too do that before" which makes him seem almost flustered by the request it's cute.

I think about them constantly and I'm insane about the nuances and symbolism of this story. Also the body horror and my trans lindworm theory (I can go into immense detail). There is both immense comedy, horror, and emotional turmoil in the details of this story and I'm insane about it.

[greenflamedwriter]

What type of Fanfiction did I transmigrate too???

A/n: I read a REALLY good fanfic of the OG Bingqiu where Shen Qingqiu made plans in place to survive Binghe and ended up seducing him and now Luo Binghe wants him to pay but also wants him as his empress and they come to a conclusion Shen Qingqiu was able to reveal his past and even apologised in his own way.

Anyway NOTES And warnings! This will have NSFW sex scenes etc, those scenes WILL have a warning later on down the story if you want to SKIP them- I did plan on writing more but now I'm drawing blanks ^^; So sex scenes, etc blah blah blah enjoy!

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were still fucked up, their relationship bordering on possesion and survival, then it turned into trust but both still regarded each other as two predators cross paths.

So they get together, Shen Qingqiu is fine with the harem in his words they give Binghe what he can't give, Shen Qingqiu had the title of empress, As long as Binghe doesn't have a harem of husbands he's fine.

Enter Shen Yuan!

When Shen Yuan transmigrates into PIDW he freaks out- Shen Qingqiu's alive!? so it's the beggining of the boo- wait Luo Binghe is exposed as a heavenly demon- So Shen Qingqiu is ABOUT to get his arms ripped of-

Their MARRIED!?

Welp, this had to be an alternative PIDW, [later on once he meets up with Airplane he gapes as he's told this was the DRAFT version but the conclusion wasn't finalised as the author was dead so the characters just naturally choose marriage?]

Anyway Shen Yuan figured to just 'avoid' the couple, thanks to Empress Shen Qingqiu there was NO merging of the worlds and Shen Yuan could cultivate and explore this world to his hearts content :D

So far he's living his afterlife to the fullest, right until he almost dies...again.

The fact that he was saved was surprising. He was hunting down a beast that resembled one of those monsters from Spy Kids 2 made by that nutty professor, if you cut of one head another one appears.

But this thing had two heads, he couldn't dodge the two for long and almost lost his leg to a pair of poisinious fangs.

Thankfully a black blur swooped in and sliced the neck- Shen Yuan grimaced no wait not thankfully that was going to-

But instead the necks pulsed black ooze out the wound as if the sword caturiased the necks to stop them from growing. Shen Yuans eyes widened.

...Well thats one way to do it.

The man landed and before Shen Yuan could even thank him the sword as aimed at him.

"Since I saved your life, this beast is mine so it's best if you scram."

How rude!?

"What? No way- I almost killed myself to see a hydra." Shen Yuan stood up and almost slapped the sword away but then thought better of it.

The man eyes narrowed, and Shen Yuan figured he might just get murdered. Backtracking he spoke holding his hand up.

"I was just observing and wanted to document it. Can I have five mintues?" The man tilted his lips then nodded, not sheithing his sword.

Shen Yuan reached into his pockets taking out his journel and flicking it over to his page and notes of hydras. He scowled, he had nothing for weakness, freakishly weird sword isn't something anyone can use.

He began to sketch the shape as best he could and even leaned closer drawing in detail the head and even the scales, he was blocking in shapes and only drew the details in real time for later.

The guy was staring at him and it was making him nervous. He really wanted to be accurate in this. He paused as he gazed at the Hydras mouth and paused.

Taking out a knife he lifted the lip and saw the venom still dripping from the fangs...that could be really valuable.

"Is it okay if I take some venom?"

"Why?"

"A mans gotta eat." Shen Yuan quipped back, say what you will about cultivating but he was starving half the time. Some venom would could set him up for the next month.

He heard the other scowl, "Fine."

Shen Yuan hummed happily, and rumaged around he even used a device for milking snakes- it was a gift and he's never used it UNTIl this moment! How lucky.

He then did the other Hydra head as well so he had two large jars of venom. Nice.

As he stood up he walked over to the man looking stormy, he held out the jar.

"Here, as thanks for saving me." Shen Yuan smiled.

Even if he was a jerk. He still saved him.

Shen Qingqiu scowl could kill anyone, he watched as Shen Yuans eyes locked onto his and saw the immediete effect he had on him.

Shen Yuan tensed his eyes immiedtly looking away terrified. Oh Shen Qingqiu scared him?

good. He'll keep away from Luo Binghe.

Shen Qingqiu layed on the bed scowling, "You have a harem, but you can't have men too when you have me. Shouldn't I be enough?" He sat up scowling. He knew if he asked Luo Binghe would kick out Shen Yuan, would think nothing off it.

Luo Binghe stroked his face "Who said he was for my harem?"

What?

Luo Binghe looked amused, his voice sounded considering "I wasn't pursuing Shen Yuan for myself, he could be yours. You could have your own harem, not all of them could be for sex it could be just us like this." Luo Binghe spoke kissing his forehead but he felt his lips curl against his forehead.

"But I've noticed how much you like to bully him, seeing him cry. You enjoy it, I know you've been lonely when I'm with my wives you can use him. Have Shen Yuan warm your bed. You're my empress you deserve the best."

Shen Qingqiu couldn't believe what Luo Binghe was thinking, he was too overwhelemed with jelously he never realised that this was for him.

That Luo Binghe in his own way, was trying to please Shen Qingqiu.

"You don't want Shen Yuan?"

"Not unless you're willing to share, but if you don't want him then thats fine, I'll move him to another palace maybe under Mobei-Jun he seems to like that rat Shang Qinghua."

Shen Qingqiu was considering, he was so focused of seeing Shen Yuan as a rival, as another hoity cultivator who could steal everything away from him.

Shen Qingqiu lay back down, his hands shaking. Luo Binghe took his hand and gave it a kiss.

"I will never let you go, Shen Qingqiu. My Empress, I will never replace you or leave you- I worry you might get bored with me. Leave me for Yue Qingyuan." He stroked his hand bringing it to his lips.

"The self control I have, I would cut off your arms and legs, hide you away in my bedroom, have you rely soley on me for your needs. Keep you by myside forever. I will never let you go."

Instead of horryfying him, Shen Qingqiu found himself smiling, snuggling further into his husbands chest. "Likewise, if you marry Shen Yuan and leave me, forget me. I'll kill you."

Ah young love.

Shen Qingqiu knew Shen Yuan wouldn't understand this, the possesive behaviour both of them have with each other. He doubted Shen Yuan would survive him never mind both of them, he would think they were gross, disgusting. Unhealthy. But both Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were survivors, everything they've ever had was ripped from their hands. Once they've gotten stronger they would defend what they love with everything they had.

With this change Shen Qingqiu began watching Shen Yuan in a new light, he knew the other didn't like him. He was almost like Liu Qingge, assuming he was scum and the worst person to exist.

It didn't help him warm up to Shen Yuan, the two barely got along. He had no idea what Luo Binghe was thinking. But after Shen Yuan returned from the Northern realm he suddenly looked at Shen Qingqiu to report and blanched.

He couldn't look him in the eye and almost looked...ashamed?

Shen Qingqiu's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Why are you acting so skittish for?" He asked once he cornered Shen Yuan, who looked like he would be anywhere but here.

"Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you."

That caused a reaction, Shen Yuan eyes snapped to his obviously irritated. "Whats wrong with you?"

"Nothing- nothing you should be concerned about it's just...Shang Qinghua didn't tell me anything he just...cleared up a miscomunication. That's all."

Shen Qingqiu gazed at him cooly so what did that have to do with him?

"And?"

Strangely enough, Shen Yuan straightened- even though it didn't do much for how short he was, but then he bowed.

"I Apologise to Empress Shen. I trusted baseless rumours which clouded my judgemnet of you. For that, this foolish one apologises."

Shen Qingqiu blinked "Rumours?" He immiedetly stiffened. Shang Qinghua was a rat- he wouldn't be surprised if he knew about Shen QIngqiu's past if he told Shen Yuan everything.

His hand tightened on his fan, only Luo Binghe knew because it was clawed out of him but he was the only one he trusted. Qui Haitang was executed after he learned that fact. But even Yue Qingyuan didn't know-

"What do you know?" Shen Qingiu asked and Shen Yuan stood up straighter.

"Nothing, only that you and Luo Binghe were similair which is why you're both so compatible, if I wanted to know the truth I should ask the source."

Shen Qingqiu scoffed as if he was going to spill anything to this worm. He realised this was the truth, Shen Yuan knew nothing.

"I never knew you were stupid enough to believe rumours." He would actually, Shen Yuan was gulliable, he noticed the other clench his fists glancing to the side.

"My information came from a trusted source, they've never been wrong before. I had no idea they could be biased."

When he called out airplane they kept reciting.

"Ever heard of unreliable narrator? idiot :p"

Still it was better being called stupid by Shen Qingqiu than by Shang Qinghua.

---

"What is the meaning of this, worm?" Shen Qingqiu was losing his patience with Shen Yuans incompatence. Yes the man was smart he was a walking enclopedia of beastiarys and fuana strangely enough.

And yet he couldn't even get this right.

"Do you have any idea on how to prepare ink?" Shen Yuan fumbled and almost spilled the crushed ink that he was crushing for Shen Qingqiu and made a mess. If he was going to have Shen Yuan as his servant or even entertain Luo Binghes ludacrous harem idea but with his standards and this worms incompatence he wasn't off to a great start.

This pathetic excuse of a man should be grateful, he's done worse to Binghe.

"Well?" After the other didn't respond, looking down Shen Qingqiu fan pushed under his chin lifting up Shen Yuans face to look him in the eye, the next words on his throat faltered.

Shen Yuans eyes were red and he was looking to the side his breathing trying to even out. The humilation burned his cheeks.

"This one apologises, Empress Shen."

Shen Qingqiu was fascinated. He tilted the others face, his own still unomved by the display but inside he felt something akin to excitment. The worm was too easy, Luo Binghe was fake, always smiling and pretending nothing fazed him. Shen Qingqiu barely poked this soft thing and he was close to tears.

"Crying worm? How unbecoming of a cultivator. Is this how you represent the pride of the heavenly empire?"

Shen Yuans hands clenched trying to hide but Shen QIngqiu smacked his face with a fan a soft slap to keep his face turned towards his.

If he was so easy towards a scolding what would a praise do? He should wait.

"Try again. If you spill on drop of ink you will be crushing inkstones for the whole palace until you get it right."

Shen Yuans eyes widened. There were tons of servants and schollars here who used inkstones and the wives alone used them for poetry and sending letters to their family!

His hands would die to arthitius.

With one final slap, with the fan. Shen Yuan moved back to continue his task. He was better this time. Tears staining his cheeks.

Shen Qingqiu face twitched hidden by his own fan. On second thought he might reconsider Luo Binghes ludacrous idea.

Shen Yuan hated him, he hated Shen Qingqiu- if he didn't value his life he would poison him in his sleep. He was running jim raggared and knew if he didn't have a vacation he was going to snap. After talking with Luo Binghe [more like begging] he was given a holiday leave.

Yay!

Shen Qingqiu was going with him "Oh Shen Yuan! I heard you were leaving the palace, I might go with you I need to stretch my legs."

Shen Yuan was lucky that Shen Qingqiu didn't need an entire party to go with him, both went alone with only their swords and tailsmans and even wore disguises. Seriously, Shen Yuan was going on this mission to save this village because it might have a rare demon that wasn't in his beastiary.

big action scene.

Shen Yuan began to draw the beast and even doted down the information in a column on the side. He felt Shen Qingqiu hover over his shoulder and began to break out in a cold sweat. He knew he wasn't a gifted artist, he just needed to draw them because he missed the fan-wiki page of PIDW. He just liked looking through it as a refresher for this world.

He heard Shen Qingqiu hum and prepared himself for the scathing comment.

"You're really good."

It slipped out, Shen Qingqiu scowled, but it was true. Shen Yuan was really good through this whole trip he never questioned why Shen Qingqiu went to the brothels for intel. Even seemed to agree with it and was respectable with the women it was pretty obvious that Shen Yuan wasn't interested in them that way. Helping the villagers and even knew what to say to reassure them, Shen Qingqiu only made things worse by breathing.

And his art was good and so was his calligraphy- making his own ink confused Shen Qingqiu though but alas, he wondered if maybe Shen Yuan had some talent for the four arts of Qing Jing peak.

He fantasised thoughts of having Shen Yuan as a disciple, but it ended the same as how he treat Luo Binghe.

"Hmm, thank you?" Shen Yuan spoke and noticed the other huff "Your art and calligraphy. Even your Beastiary is impressive. You should be a proud scholar."

He watched Shen Yuans stunned face, before he caught himself his face burning red and immiedietly ducked down his head his hair falling as a curtain to hide "T-Thank you Empress Shen."

No don't hide! Shen Qingqiu smirked behind his fan, who knew the worm had such a thin face?

Maybe he should get him a fan, he could paint it himself.

Luo Binghe had to smile behind his hand as he watched Shen Yuan trail behind his Shizun like a duck. How he was waiting for praise from his Shizun before his dejected look as he was shot down.

But compared to before, he realised this better than before. Usually Shen Yuan looked resentful Luo Binghe was worried he would have to do away with him for any assasination attempts.

But this looked more playful, Shen Yuan bounced back immedielty following his Shizun and chatting away while the other listened.

He knew kidnapping Shen Yuan was a good idea...

NSFW undercut

----------------

Shen Yuan couldn't believe this was happening, the sounds of skin slapping skin, watching how his cock was disapearing into a tight hole and as he pulled back the skin tugged on almost sucking him in. Shen Yuan was moaning clutching the soft skin as he chased his own pleasure. Shen QIngqiu wanted him to be loud.

"Empress Shen? Empress Shen does it feel good?"

He couldn't believe the things coming out of his mouth. This was dialouge from a shitty stallion novel.

But it just slipped out, like second nature. Shen Qingqiu was tied down his pale arms held tightly with red rope that hung snug against his pale flesh like a caress.

Shen Qingqiu was panting, only his breaths the only sound other than the wet squelch as Shen Yuan hips thrusted forward- almost possesed.

To think their relationship became like this- Shen Yuan was ignorant he had no idea Shen Qingqiu wanted him like this-

To be used.

But Shen Yuan was a servant, it couldn't hold a candle to both Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghes relationship that was love.

Maybe this- being used, with no strings attatched would make their union much sweeter in comparison.

Shen Qingqiu responded, his legs shaking and his own neglected dick leaking pre-cum.

"Hey, what if someone walked in? Imagine their shook to see Empress Shen like this- being used by a servant like some common whore."

Shen Qingqiu tightened almost gasping that time.

"How does it feel being fucked by a worm Shen Qingqiu." he spoke his name, familiary then smirked "Shen - gege?" The other did gasp that time.

"You love it, this one thinks you want to be caught," He panted his arms laying on the bed as he leaned over the Empress his hips pistoning in and out, in and out-

"You want others to see how dirty you are,"

No- wrong thing to say.

Shen Qingqiu didn't react, but his breathing hitched, and his movements stuttered.

"Maybe Luo Binghe might come in and watch." Shen Yuan tried with a slow role of his hips.

"Seeing his husband being pleasured by a pathetic worm like me. You think I'm lower than dirt but what does that make you?" He spoke but was still gauging Shen Qingqiu's reaction.

He was back to moving again now moaning, almost spurring Shen Yuan on.

"Seeing the Empress like this, you're so messy."

Messy was fine, that was okay to say.

"You're just a hole to be filled up." Shen Yuan snapped his hips going faster and purposfully missing that spot.

"Do you want to cum? You have to ask nicely..."

Shen Qingqiu scowled and Shen Yuan hummed "Fine then, be that way." Shen Yuan latched onto Shen Qingqius ass and began to thread the skin as he felt close to coming, Shen Qingqiu was sopping wet, precum dribbling down his thigh. He was so sloppy.

Shen Yuan came with a grunt still grinding his hips to empty himself in Luo Binghe's first husband.

Shen Qingqiu was panting into the sheets, his thighs shaking his cock twitching and looking painful.

Shen Yuan kissed his back "shh, Shen-Gege, I won't neglect you."

Shen Yuan moved back and grimaced when he pulled out with a tug feeling sensitive and heard Shen Qingqiu gasp.

"Y-You vile worm how fucking dare you!"

Shen Yuan flinched, he almost forgot Shen Qingqiu asked for this. He smiled, but it was all bravado. Shen Qingqiu was scary and this was close to being hot...but was also scary if he messed up- he was a virign for gods sake and here he was acting like an experienced Dom in a BDSM scene!?

Well they say fake it till you make it.

"Aw, is Shen Qingqiu feeling left out?" At least he'd read tons of hentai and Stallion novels. "Just Relax, This one will serve Empress Shen to the best of his abilities." He quipped hearing Shen Qingqiu grumble and curse him out calling him worm.

Which had Shen Yuan shiver, Shen Qingqiu had a thing for pet names, Beast for Binghe. Maybe he should call his Empress something.

Raging cat was not gonna slide.

He watched as Shen Qingqiu's hold twitched almost begging him to be filled again. But he emptied himself and watched how Shen Qingqiu was twitching, his stomach rumbling. That couldn't be good.

He carresed his thigh and raised his hand to his plump ass, he kneaded the skin then his index finger pushed into the twitching hole. He watched as his finger was sucked up and began to flex his finger as he massaged Shen Qingqiu's ass at the same time. It wasn't enough as he avoided his spot.

"Get off me- I'll kill you!"

Shen Yuan hummed, "Are you sure about that? You'll look me in the eye and remember what this one did to you- the places he's touched." He used his other hand and pressed his thumb and finger together to make a ring then pressed his hand feeling Shen Qingqiu's cock pushing through his fingers before he began to stroke him, feeling the skin on Shen Qingqius cock tug and he pulled down feeling his hand began to slicken as he began to slowly stroke Shen Qingqius cock with only two fingers tightly held around it as they stroked up and down almost milking him as he other hand began to push in and out of his ass in a rythm.

"Stop-you vile insect!" Shen Qingqiu's voice wavered and Shen Yuan knew he was doing okay.

He heard the sounds and began to brush against that spot, feeling Shen Qingiu twitch, he moved his hands faster and faster watching how Shen Qingqiu tensed.

He could edgeplay...but not for their first time...

He ripped his finger out and watched as his cum began sputtering out before he watched as Shen Qingqiu's ass gaped open then closed as his cum began to leak out making a huge mess on the bed. Shen Qingqiu cried out his hips stuttering as he came.

He collapsed and immedietly Shen Yuan stood untying the robes and pushing his Qi to soothe the man.

He began to clean up, taking a warm wet towel and wiping Shen Qingqiu down. He had already made sure his insides were fine and once the bed sheets were removed began to tuck Shen Qingqiu into bed who seemed to be in a daze.

Both Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe would have a bath later.

Shen Yuan climbed into the bed and lay onto of Shen Qingqiu. After that and Shen Yuan was the little spoon, but he liked being held.

Shen Qingqiu took his hands brushing his thumb back and forth-

Oh Shen Yuan was shaking.

"Did you hate it?" Shen Qingqiu asked softly, voice bereft from judgment. "No! no I liked it..."

There was a But in there.

They had to talk about this though, Shen Yuan insisted on it. What he liked about the scene what he didn't like.

"I noticed you don't like me saying dirty."

He felt Shen Qingqiu tensed and kept talking "I don't need to know- I won't say it again...does Luo Binghe know?"

"Yes." The other said tensley and Shen Yuan relaxed "Good, now I'll know not to say it. Empress Shen-" "Shen Yuan you've fucked me. Lets drop the formalities."

Shen Yuans face burned red, Shen Qingqiu!?

"But thats not what bothered you." Shen Qingqiu stated and Shen Yuan sighed, his breath tickling the others skin.

"I don't like...using you. This 'blackmail' play is fun but I don't want to do it all the time," He pressed a soft kiss to the others chest before nuzzling him. "I want to serve Empress Shen, spoil you, treat you how you deserve." He failed to see Shen Qingqius eyes widen.

"What if I liked to be forced? Forced to submit, since I will never willingly let others touch me."

Shen Yuan spoke feeling tired and trying to stay awake, they had to talk about this if they were going to continue.

"Well bullying you is one thing. But this whole "wow a servent is fucking you," Shen Yuan made a bleh face, it was a typical rape revenge fantasy that he was not a fan off. It was not it his poison. But he was curious about the type of Hentai Shen Qingqiu wanted.

"Bullying? How would you bully me?"

"By spoiling you? You can still be tied up, but I would just try to make you sweetly ask to be fucked. Change the roles a bit,"

"How so?" "Well I would ask, what would you ask from this servent? Want me to touch you here? Suck here? Please direct this useless servant, but this one knows Empress Shen is too proud, so this one would build up the pleasure, tease you have you on the edge before your a shaking crying mess."

He felt Shen Qingqiu hands twitch, and Shen Yuan kept speaking "Or you could use me? I think theres an array or cultivation technqiue to keep someone hard, you could use me take your pleasure and leave me to deal with it myself." His own cock twitched at that. Using Shen Qingqiu then being used himself. Both were just toys to one another until Luo Binghe comes in.

He felt Shen Qingqiu suddenly adjust his position and straddled Shen Yuan who blinked confused.

"Those all sound interesting." Shen Qingqiu spoke almost considering, but his hard length against his length made it obvious how much he liked some of his ideas.

But- Shen Yuan was tired he couldn't do anything-

Shen Qingqiu huffed reading his mind "Be a good servent and let me use you." He told Shen Yuan to press his thighs together tight and Shen Yuan gasped as he felt Shen Qingqiu pushed through his cock grinding against his own length clutching his ass and he kept Shen Yuans thights together and thrusted shallowly through them.

Shen Yuan moaned his own cock giving a valiant twitch as Shen Qingqius kept pushing against at it, grinding and making a sloppy mess of his thighs chasing his release. Imagining what he could do to Shen Yuan now that he realised being tied up and used wasn't the only thing he wanted.

He'll admit, usually Binghe was strong enough to hold him down and be rough. If Shen Yuan was too scared to try some of the things he and Binghe did on the regular thats fine.

A thought of making Shen Yuan watch, watch Binghe take Shen Qingqiu apart showing how much the older wanted to be used to forget his name to enter that dreamy floaty state.

But Shen Yuan was inexperienced, it was obvious. He must of taking notes from yellow books of all things. Typical.

But Shen Yuan was a fast study and mostly open to most of Shen Qingqiu's desires.

Yes, Luo Binghe made a right choice in choosing his concubine. And with him being prepped it would make his time with Binghe easier.

He wasn't some self lubricating women so this was a big help!

Once Shen Yuan slept after staining his thighs, Shen Qingqiu left the rooms to have his back with Binghe who returned from his own wife.

Would Shen Yuan be countered as his wife?

Thinking on it he laughed at how accurate it was, he liked carriages, sweets was way too delicate and sensitive, even in bed he acted like a clingy mistress.

"What are you laughing at."

"Shen Yuan." He spoke bluntly and felt Luo Binghe hum his hands exploring the soft bruises and felt Shen Qingqius hole his fingers exploring and his blood parasites flooded to that area to make sure his first husband was uninjured.

"this master is fine, just had a silly thought." he admitted then scowled slapping Luo Binghes arm "Stop- water will go in."

He felt Luo Binghe mouth against one of Shen Yuans bruises digging his teeth in deeper, was he possesive? Wanted to have an indirect taste to Shen Yuan? Thought the other was too soft and the bruises should be deeper?

The last one Shen Qingqiu could agree. Shen Yuan was so timid. Once he realised how much Shen Qingqiu could take he probably wouldn't hold back anymore.

"Timid hmm?"

Shen Qingqiu nodded with a groan "Yes, and I won't blame inexperience. You were like a beast." He think he tore something and felt Luo Binghe's sharp grin against his skin.

He manuvered Shen Qingqiu ignored his squawking his he impaled him onto his cock, the other grunted his hands clenching and gripping Luo Binghes arm almost ripping bloody marks into his arms.

"You beast-" He cut off as Luo Binghe with no fanfare picked Shen Qingqiu up fucking him up and down on his cock, the water sloshing around and Shen Qingqiu's pants echoed around the room.

"Look at your stomach, did you reach that deep?"

With Cultivation Shen Qingqiu knew he could take this demonic cock, he glanced down his own stomach portruding and saw the cock head bump up and down his flesh expanding with each thrust, his cock twitched at the sight that something that huge was inside him.

"No- I didn't see."

He doubted it. Binghe was a monster. Luo Binghe preened but Shen Qingqiu gave a huff.

Size literally didn't matter, Shen Yuan was so close to his spot and could've pleasured him perfectly, Shen Qingqiu thought he was just bad at it.

But his fingers knew exactly where it was after he was done. But Binghe's cock went so far to the point of painful, just being full wasn't enough when that spot was further down and being ignored.

He felt the beast move faster and Shen Qingqiu felt teeth at his throat he almost blacked out, being used by Binghe was always intense. Usually Luo Binghe would massage him, slowly using creams on his body and edging him before entering him. Thanks to Shen Yuan's prep they were able to skip to the main part.

The only thing Shen Qingqiu was grateful for. Is that both he and Binghe would never tire of one another.

"...I wish you would share him. I want to see how this person pleases my first husband." Shen Qingqiu wanted to be jeleaous. But strangely enough. He liked Shen Yuan.

Outside of the bedroom he just fit with the two. He was becoming Luo Binghe's third hand almost taking over Mobei-Jun. Anyone else Shen Qingqiu would be suspicious. But he knew that his A-yuan was just stupid. He loved beasts, and liked to journey with Luo Binghe to save a nearby village to document them. He knew he loved the demons more than wanting to sneak with his husband because he always went on the intersting missions with anyone. Shang Qinghua mostly and Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu knew most would use this to curry favour. Not Shen Yuan he was excited and began to go into detail about all the demons he read about.

They didn't even have sex!?

Shen Qingqiu was fuming when he got back, much to Luo Binghe's confusion. And he saw how Shen Yuan only loved Binghe was his library. Shen Qingqiu has never felt more irritated and wrong footed but also...he knew deep down that someone like Shen Yuan could leave. He could be stationed somewhere else and Shen Qingqiu didn't want that.

Luo Binghe was always attentive and knew the thought process of his Shizun. He knew his Shizun grew attacthed to Shen Yuan just like he was attatched to Ning Yingying and Sha hualing and Liu Mingyan. His shizun accepted it.

Both knew that they didn't love, love was a fairytale and it wasn't real.

Obession. Finding something worse holding onto to benefit yourself, that they understood. Which was why they were husbands why Shen Qingqiu and Binghe were Emprorer and Empress. Both were of the same mindset, not so simple as their wives and concubines. They knew they were broken and weren't enough for a relationship which was why they had others to fill in the pieces.

They knew if they had to let them go they would. But Luo Binghe would never allow Shen Qingqiu to leave, and vice verse. It seemed unhealthy. But that obsession with each other. Knowing that the other would fall to torture to keep them there- for someone like Shen Qingqiu who wanted safety and stability latched onto this like a safety net.

And Luo Binghe's entire drive his need for revenge which then turned to ownership was what kept him reliant on his Shizun without him, he would be adrift. So would Shen Qingqiu.

Both knew they were poisnious and ruined any relaionships, take Yue QIngyuan and Ning yingying for example they ruined everything they touched and most of their drives and passions were too much- too scary for others sensitive ideals.

And yet Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu made each other better, they became more healthy working together ironically and improved their stations but also their frame of mind. They knew how to navigate one another and the mind games was what made it fun.

[Shen Qingqiu knew he could run away and Luo Binghe knew he would be too impressed to leave him be and not chase him]

But none of them would say it outloud, they understood each other. The others didn't-

Except for Shen Yuan. He looked at them and saw them. He didn't have judgment and even encouraged their relationship yet never said what they should or shouldn't be doing.

"You're still together? You obviously know something that I don't."

Not once has anyone spoken about their relationship and had respect that they knew what they were doing, and Shen Yuan almost knew their wavelengths. Almost being he was wary of Luo Binghe, sweating buckets thinking he would fall to Xin Mo for touching his husband.

It was almost funny, he saw how Luo Binghe's eyes would light up almost wanting to bully Shen Yuan.

To 'teach' him a lesson, Shen Yuan had the type of face that you couldn't help but want to tease and get a reaction from he made it so easy. And being scared? Sweating buckets but also blushing when he remembered just how he had Empress Shen the follwoing morning and pretended that nothing was wrong.

How Luo Binghe didn't pounce on him and bend him over-

Shen Qingqiu was impressed at his restraint but also disapointed...

oh that was a startling thought- he found he didn't mind Luo Binghe taking Shen Yuan. Unless he was watching or even participating.

When he invited Shen Yuan over, Shen Qingqiu didn't believe in talking it out. He gave Luo Binghe his blessing and instead sat at a table going his his correspondence with Yue Qingyuan. It was always a hassle and something he put off. Once he had a good incentive to respond would he do it in a timely manner so he could enjoy his reward later.

That would be Shen Yuan walking through the door.

And being slammed into the wall by Luo Binghe as he practically devoured his face, Shen Yuan let out a meep like a startled animal before melting into the kiss as he realised he wasn't going to die.

"Y-Your highness?" Shen Yuan spoke confused and saw Luo Binghes dark grin as he descened, Shen Yuan watched in a daze before Luo Binghe began to pull his robes back stroking his dick.

The protagonist was on his knees in front of him "Your highness!?"

Shen Qingqiu huffed "Shen Yuan, I think we are well past formalities you can call him Binghe, or beast." Shen Qingqiu sneered and heard Luo Binghes huff of amusement

[lesbianneopolitan]

How will Neo get away with murder and deal with loose ties?

(also am i reading too much alex cross, help)

First of all, couldn't help thinking of this song after reading the first part:

I actually have a lot of thoughts about Neo's process to commit crimes, so let's see if I can order them without forgetting stuff or writing down a mess-

She's absolutely paranoid about leaving clues behind, so no fingertips, either because of gloves, a cover with her Semblance to make proof very misleading (aka, changing her fingertips to something random- thanks god her illusions are physical) or in the worst case, the fact my interpretation of Neo burnt her own fingertips to not be easy to identify via those.

I'm sure she enters the scenes with the appearance of someone else. If there are cameras, she eventually destroys or disconnects them with the faux appearance. If we pay attention to canon, Roman has always been the face of the crimes, and Neo doesn't seem to appear anywhere, not even after the Vytal Festival when Cinder's group is wanted by the authorities. So she's good at hiding her true identity.

I'm sure she would even try to let the blame fall on someone else by taking the appearance of citizens of Vale when more 'exposed'. Take for sure she's too good with identity theft. Seeing how easily she just took over the damn Atlesian ship to free Roman that one time, this bitch knows what she's doing.

Like, come on, she entered a high security military airship, made a cleansing before freeing Roman, and then they had the airship for themselves.

Being a fighter that mainly works by counter-attacking or blocking attacks, I'm sure she rarely makes a mess when it comes to murder. I want to believe in a normal situation, her last hit to kill a person is always with the unsheathed blade of Hush, but only if you've 'entertained' her enough. Otherwise, if you don't have the pleasure of amusing her, I can see her just cutting necks with a broken piece of glass made with the Semblance (to not leave any weapon proof behind), so they either die from blood loss or choke with their blood.

She actually carries a Swiss knife in her back pocket, but that thought aside...

So, you usually can get from her either a person that died from a profound stab wound (if she used the rapier from Hush), or a cut to the neck (that, adding as a side note, I can see it being kind of like her 'mark'- going for the neck on her victims because of the lack of her own voice).

It doesn't help that I can actually see her using her Semblance to add extra misleading clues at the crime's scene (on top on the fingertip trick) when the limit is only her imagination, because I'm sure she loves to play around with the cops or Huntsmen so they go crazy trying to figure everything out.

Crimes of theft alongside Roman are another story, but if she can get away with murder, she can get away with petty theft.

I also wonder how easy it's to corrupt the cops by bribing them, seeing as how Jimmy Vanille paid them to stay shut about Trivia's first crimes, or knowing Huntsmen on the 'other side of the law' also exist.

To remove blood off her clothes? Oxygen-producing detergent. With her being a trained assassin (and seeing how skillful she is), I can imagine that the crimes she usually commits or, the murders, in this case, hardly make her sweat, and even less bleed because you gotta get over her Aura first.

With some extras on crime activity:

Would she get rid of the corpses? Maybe sometimes, if she feels like it.

Would she torture people if Roman needs someone to 'sing'? Definitely. I even headcanon she plays this song in the background whenever she has to torture for info, she has a lot of fun, if they survive they will be left traumatized. She usually starts with removing the nails off people's hands.

Idk, many thoughts, if she hasn't been caught yet, it says a lot.

Mafia shit.

[manofmanymons]

survive kids holiday party hcs?

Opening up with a hc I STOLE from @dingbingbats which is that Takuma's mom would make sweaters for all the kemonogami jsjsjd

Also my brain has apparently designated Takuma as "that friend whose house all the parties happen at"

They try to make gingerbread cookies together, but you do NOT need eight people and eight monsters to make cookies, so only a couple of them are even doing anything while the others are absolute hindrances, awkwardly standing in the way or throwing flour at each other or eating the raw dough.

When the cookies DO manage to get made, it devolves into that one scene in Adventure where they're arguing over egg toppings, but now it's cookie toppings.

Minoru and Takuma put too much icing (although with Takuma it's mostly bc Agumon seems to really like icing), Aoi doesn't put enough, for some reason Ryo is using any condiment BUT the royal icing, Miu found the candy eyeballs from Halloween is making all the snowmen biblically accurate, Kaito keeps using red instead of green on all the trees so they look like they're bleeding (only Dracmon appreciates the artistry), Saki's going ham on the sprinkles (Floramon approves of the sparkles. Floramon is a chaos enabler.), and Shuuji is the one sane person making Normal Cookies.

All the younger boys are on clean up duty afterwards because they were No Help baking and 90% of the mess was their fault.

I think they should be allowed to have fun in snow also. Sometimes you gotta let go of your responsibilities and roll around in snow with the besties for a bit. There is a group effort to make the largest snowman possible. They go all out, even getting their partners with flying evos to help them make it taller. It catches the eyes of everyone on the block.

A true modern tower of babel.

...can Dracmon make a snowball or would that just be jamming snow in his eyes ksjskdn

For all their usual arguing, I like to imagine that these kids would actually have an easy time settling down and picking holiday movies. It's the most wonderful time of the year, after all, and even they can't get on each other's nerves ALL the time.

Plus they feel guilty about being too rowdy when Takuma's mom is around. (She doesn't actually mind it).

They don't do presents because there are simply Too Many Of Them and that would get complicated and stressful and awkward. As corny as it sounds, the best gift is being together.

[dundunny]

Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened

And within the same day, I beat another game. When my friend watched me playing, he commented how he recently read the breadth of the works and could not recall any scene in which Holmes walked on invisible rocks in a nightmare world, and that is because this game is melded with Lovecraft. It starts with Holmes and Watson investigating a missing servant and ends up with a cult set on resurrecting Cthulu. I think Chapter One remains as the studio's magnum opus, partially because The Awakened is actually a remake, and judging from the wikipedia article, they remained rather faithful to the original. Chapter One was pretty open world and there were tons of investigations to the point I felt I was stumbling upon a new one every block, whereas this has a linear and relatively short plot. I haven't played the original 2007 game so I can't say how they've updated the gameplay or clues, but I would put this on par with Chapter One in terms of difficulty. I didn't like how they dealt with the mind palace with the neurons dealing with small issues. I prefer all the clues laid out at once to show the overall picture, but I guess this game was just one case (as opposed to Crime and Punishment and The Devil's Daughter having a different case each chapter), so we would be left with one mind palace screen the entire time. There was also a lot of Watson action in this installment, and he wasn't a pain in the ass like in The Devil's Daughter so that was pleasant.

I'm willing to cut them all the slack in the world though because the developers reside in Kiev. I supported the Kickstarter for this and occasionally they would send apologetic emails about delays due to cut power from airstrikes and I'm like... it's OK. You're OK.

One interesting note is, judging from the wikipedia article, The Awakened deviates significantly from the original in chapter III, when the pair travel to the insane asylum. For one, Watson was supposed to be waiting on the outside whereas here he stays as a guest doctor and provides pivotal help in Holmes' plan. For two, the wikipedia article states, "Holmes unexpectedly discovers that his nemesis Moriarty is a patient, though a weakened shadow of his former self having survived the fall at Reichenbach. Using Moriarty as a distraction, Holmes extricates himself from the asylum." That is very different from what I played. Moriarty wasn't there at all. I'm bringing this up because of an interesting sidequest. In Chapter One, you can solve a bunch of crimes organized by this individual named "M," whom the player can easily deduce is Moriaty. In The Awakened, Mycroft asks Watson to investigate an agent of his, who is found dead and an M is written in his notebook in different handwriting. Upon reporting this to Mycroft, he immediately orders Watson to forget about everything and do not mention it to anyone, again hinting Moriaty. Considering this remake The Awakening takes place immediately after Chapter One, I'm wondering if the studio is leading us somewhere with this and there'll be another addition in the series where Holmes and Moriaty go head to head.

I did like playing it, but it's my least favorite in the series just because I'm not a big horror fan. I still say go for it, but I would recommend playing Chapter One first because they make lots of references to it, particularly when Mycroft talks about Sherlock's mental illness. (I wonder if that was in the original? They hadn't made Sherlock's dissociative disorders with Jon yet in this universe.) Just as I finished it, I saw they released The Testament of Sherlock Holmes on PSN, so I guess I gotta get that next. After, you know, Diablo IV, Tears of the Kingdom, and Final Fantasy XVI. Too many games released this year, man. Spider-Man 2 and Super Mario RPG is coming out later too.

[fourseasonsfigs]

Accompanying You for the Rest of Your Life

What a sweet name for a fig set, and how apropos. But I gotta say, A-Xu is NOT looking too happy with a certain someone!

It's hard to describe the expression on A-Xu's face other than unhappy. And no wonder, he's holding the evidence of the crime in his left hand.

In my mind, this is one of the in-between scenes between episode 36 and special episode 37, and is all about a certain someone getting an epic scolding after the shenanigans he pulled. The guilty looking shenanigan-er, meanwhile, is apparently trying to soothe the savage beast with a tune on the xiao - hey good luck, Lao Wen!

This fig set arrived, as most new PVC figs do, individually sealed in an airtight bag:

Well, normally they are totally sealed, never mind the big hole there in this one. These bags are great because they protect the fig from dirt, water, damage of the non-crushing kind, etc. What they do tend to do, however, is kind of scrunch up around the fig, so they bend in any PVC parts that stick out. So Baiyi, for example, gets real bendy. I typically just run the part under hot water and gently bend it back into shape several times, and it's usually just fine.

Baiyi is obvious because it sticks out, but I had totally forgotten about Lao Wen's xiao! So you can see it gained quite the bend. Oops. I'll have to go back and adjust that to be nice and straight.

Wow does A-Xu look distraught here, at least to me. Kind of shell-shocked, and no wonder, he's been through a whole lot recently. Lao Wen, on the other hand, looks kind of exhausted, which makes sense, as he's also been through a whole lot recently.

Am I clearly reading way too much into this fig set? Could be!

Nice to see a rosy glow in those cheeks though, that's for sure. A-Xu is looking particularly small and cute in this side shot.

Hmm it seems like I could probably bend the top of the Yin-Yang Book too to be a bit straighter too.

You notice that Baiyi hits the ground? Seems to be a common issue with the figs with the swords held off to the side like this. Makes sense - making them shorter would ruin the effect. So even though these figs are stable on their own, I'll still put them on fig stands so there's some clearance there.

You can see how these figs, like many with the robes to support them, are nice and stable on their own. No individual robe/pant details here - more of a straight block.

I love the big swoosh of Lao Wen's bangs here - fig makers seem to definitely enjoy this hairstyle!

Baiyi isn't entirely straight here, but this is because it's hitting the ground, which bends it a bit.

I'm betting that crockery is not gonna survive the beat down that's about to occur just now. A-Xu, I say you dramatically throw down the Yin-Yang Book at Lao Wen's feet to illustrate your extreme displeasure, throw the pots his way (which he can bat down with his xiao, which will explode in a showy shower of jade fragments), chase him across the mountain with Baiyi, cussing him out the whole time, and then catch him in your arms when he swoons from not quite being recovered enough. And then - scene! Roll episode 37.

Material: PVC

Fig Count: 191

Scene Count: 14

Rating: Together forever 💙❤️

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[daisylikesmedia]

Series 4 Episode 6: The Doctor's Daughter

The Doctor has a DAUGHTER?? WHAT?? Yooo we’ve gotta talk about this.

So yea new character introduced, Jenny, and she’s actually pretty cool. She’s a spunky, more athletic version of The Doctor who’s so new to the world, and having her learn from The Doctor and change as the episode goes on is lovely to see. The journey from soldier to pacifism is great to watch and it makes the ending of the episode so much more tragic.

This episode is centred around two warring factions, the humans and the hath, fighting it out to be the first people to reach the “breath of life”. This war has gone on for generations, but it is revealed that it’s only been going for a week. It’s just that so many clones have died/been born that the people have forgotten why they were fighting in the first place. It became war for the sake of war. At the end of the episode, General Cobb, leader of the humans, is so angry at The Doctor for proving his beliefs wrong, and ending the war, that he goes to shoot him, only for his bullet to be blocked by Jenny. This leads to one of the most iconic Dr Who speeches (in my opinion) where The Doctor aims the gun at Cobb, and then throws it away, proclaiming that these two races “make the foundation of this society a man who never would”. It’s a banger scene and might be part of the reason I’m such a staunch pacifist myself 🤔, but during this we see this familiarity, this happiness glow up inside The Doctor throughout the episode as he becomes a father to Jenny, and to have that all dashed away ooo that’s some good Doctor Who.

However there are some slight issues in this episode I do want to point out. Martha is, ONCE AGAIN, mistreated in this episode (god I feel like I keep blowing the same damn horn here). This time instead of being just a damsel in distress, she gets to sit around with the hath, walk across the surface of the planet, lose her hath friend, and then joins back up with the party like nothing happened. All whilst The Doc/Donna/Jenny are having an amazing adventure. Her actions genuinely had 0 impact on the plot and it feels she was only in this story to give a perspective to the hath side of things and show how similar they are. Which whilst is better than nothing, is still something I’m not a huge fan of. Characters shouldn’t be plot functions, they should be characters (tho she does get to do some doctor-y stuff on her end).

Also some people really hate the ending of this episode, where Jenny uses time lord energy to survive the gunshot and run away into the stars. I kind of love it? Yea it *is* kinda wish fulfilment and potential that was never followed up on (seriously how has Jenny never shown up again??),  but time lord energy is a good enough way for her to survive and the idea of her being able to see the stars just as she wanted to with her Dad is a wholesome lil cherry on top of this episode.

TL:DR/Overview: Whilst The Doctor’s Daughter can be a bit blunt with its pacifist messaging, and once again shows how badly the writers handle Martha, the highs are just so high. The Doctor’s scene about revenge and pacifism, Jenny’s development across the episode, and the wholesome ending that (not to this episode’s fault) was never capitalised on. I’m placing it in A tier.

[wrathofthelambbs]

I keep having dreams about being friends with her again and reuniting with her like making up. it’s a subconscious thing I think. I don’t actively think about it anymore and I’m not like sorrowful over it lol it’s just a shame. if I told any irls about this I’d be told to get over it and that I’m clinging onto nothing but for reals it’s not even me it’s my subconscious LMFAO like my brain is making me have dreams of making up and asking her things I can’t ask now. Strange because now I straight up just replay scenes and memories over and over in my head and that leads me to think about the girl who hates me which doesn’t do well for me. this is pretty pathetic she has so many new connections and is best friends with a girl who treated her and her ex best friend like crapballs just because of some letter and also has a gf like my name probbalt doesn’t even cross her mind 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I wonder where she kept the journal and I’m glad I didn’t take it back because it would’ve made me worse I think. I wonder if she did remove my 18th after I told her to becwusw she prolly didn’t follow through. this is stupid and it probbalt doesn’t even mean as much as it does to her compared to me but srsly I haven’t had a connection like that at all ever and I took it for granted pretending like i did. I think I’m pretty hypocritical. cognitive dissonance? i think I have many bad traits I should fix becwuse even though I’m constantly looked down upon even by msylef I still have the guts and mindset to make excuses for looking down on others it’s strange like what even is this is it self hatred? I don’t think I hate myself like it’s not a dominating thought ot whatsver . i truly do try and speak positively of her even if some of my brain fluid tries to flood becwuse at the end of the day thinking back on it I wasn’t even the victim i don’t know actually when we talked about it I was unstable and in a frenzy of crazy depression so we never even cleared a lot of things up solidly. Or maybe I’m lying to msylef and she confirmed eveyrbing and the truth is is that she really had prepared and was not sad a single bit because she was already disconnecting herself from me. I think the more I think about it the more things I connect and I will probably continue to do this until I get over it. maybe it’s that. and environmental factors? We didn’t even talk about that I only discovered it after that having access to help was a huge contributor. Did she talk shit about me to her parents and friends is she talking badly about me to the girl who hates me? I mean honestly it was quite literally confirmed that her new friends saw my negative effect and probbalt told her to block me and cut me off so really honestly I’m not eventhe good person here. did she talk about me like she even ever liked me? I don’t think I can just let this go because so long as I’m in this school she will forever looo at me that way and be best friends with someone I had a crazy falling out with. I try to tell the story now clarifying that I wasn’t the victim but maybe I’m just pitying myself trying to prove I’m not saint but I’m not evil because I want to take accountability or something. The roles reallt switched and I think it’s on me that I keep flashing back to so early on where. Ugrhk this is a horrendous thought and it’s extremely selfish and I gotta stop prioritising myself pretending I think of others before msylef bevwusw in all honesty I don’t and it’s crazy selfish a lot of the things I do but I force a pretend mindset on myself. I think I keep pretending I’m some saint who is always goikg to be correct in these situations but like what the hell. I think I will survive

[survivor-marieta-islands]

Episode 11: "we plan and G-d (the new schoolers inability to keep it together) laughs"—Jinx

Amy

not jinx saying they felt abandoned at merge (aka when I left for my roadtrip) and that they were hearing things I was saying (mostly hairie lol from what jinx relayed) but I'm also like huh what did I say lol like the only one who knows anything of worth is raffy tbh like I haven't been online enough to be too messy but I have now today learned that talking to people generally counts as leaking information? Idk but I think jinx's worry was when ppl were asking me who I was close to I wasn't saying jinx every time but also I wouldn't? I don't give complete info to ppl I just start talking to but it's actually so funny i was just saying huh I don't think I've lied in this game like sure left out info but I have been so busy it's hard to like sit down and speak to each person in the unique ways for each personality. But *flips hair* I'd love to hear what the people are saying about me.

Trinica

Hairie got an idol 😭 and here I am, once again holding info I feel obligated not to share. Raffy will probably want to vote for Hairie or Arvin next I could tell Hairie if it's him and get him to idol out Zo maybe? We'll see.

I'm lowkey hinting to Brandi and Raffy that Hairie COULD have something just so they're like not overly confident about voting him out. But now they want to pool money to buy merch and I don't necessarily want to give up my money to give Raffy an idol...but I gotta be a team player!

Raffy

I’m so bad at hunting in this idol hunt.

Brandi

JAY WHAT IS GOING ON

Raffy

Now, I’m just fearful that Hairie has an idol which probably means he’s gonna idol me out cause I called him out in the alliance chat. Ah well. You do it to yourself sometimes. My plan now is just to target Arvin and see where that gets me. I don’t have the confidence to flush something out at this moment.

Amy

jinx threw a vote when where ahahahahahaha

anyway earlier I was just messing with hairie 's mind for entertainment talking in circles asking "how do you define leaky 🤔"

entertain me y'all 😭

Brandi

I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

Amy

I didn't do well on that challenge but I tried lol

Congratulations Brandi and your husband's film degree 👏

Anyhoozits wouldn't it be fun to just stir up some chaos and see if I can survive

Zo

Now that Clefford is gone it feels like mayhaps we shall be returning to old yellers vs new kids on the block. With the even split i’m worried nobody will be organized enough to try and shake things up in time for tribal and we’ll end up with a tie vote. Maybe i’ll go start some drama for fun 😘

Trinica

Fuuuuuuuuuh--

I am STUCK in the middle with YOU!!!! You being Hairie, Brandi, and Raffy. My F4 that splintered because Hairie leaked so much then lied to Raffy about it (allegedly).

As we speak, Raffy is telling me to approach Jinx about voting for Zo. BUT Zo is finally talking game with me pre-tribal and wants to save Hairie. Who, incidentally, just got a SECOND idol, only this one is a cursed one and will reveal all the votes at tribal council when played. So he'll probably play it tonight, because Zo told him his name is out there. Which means tonight, I will be EXPOSED if I don't play this so so carefully.

I truly don't know what I'm gonna do tonight. I'm trying to put the vote back on Hairie, because if Zo is willing to work together for a bit, that's a good thing. And if Hairie has a successful idol play, and I need to vote him out, it'll be all the easier to do so later once he has a(n even bigger) target on his back. Plus I'm not ready for him to go now that he's being honest with me again. Then I vote Hairie, he plays his idol, he takes out...idk, Adeline maybe? And we move on from there, with me not looking like I'm playing both sides.

I wasn't trying to play both sides! Why do my allies always turn on each other!

Hairie

Scene It Challenge

This was the challenge I knew I could not win because it's just a tough one for me personally. What I did want out of this was to be in the top half so I can get some coins. AND THAT I DID.

Post Clefford vote

He gave me his snow globe, 35 coins, and some heartfelt words. I was genuinely shocked with the goodies and even more with the final words. Clefford I know you're a good person and I hope we can reconnect post game about this. Love you Kuya <3

Idol hunting

I already managed to snag an idol from the festival stand. So all that's left to do was find the other idol that is not in the marketplace. Today (5th September) got on call with Trinica to catch up and that we were worried no names are out there yet. While doing idol hunting live, I took a risk and it was REWARDING because I FOUND AN IDOL on my 4th hunt attempt. Like woah !!

And right on queue even when Zo (we've both not talk game at this point) came to me and said she's heard my name and wanted to keep me and work together. She also told me she's heard Arvin's name and that her name was also circulating out there. I was shock about her name.

Raffy then told me they've also heard Arvin's, my name and Zo's.

Oh I also bought a festival merch from Raffy and gifted it to him to repair our trust.

Quoting Zo's word: "Adeline is the one who told me and sort of alluded that trinica said it but i don’t think that would be true? "

Quoting Adeline from a couple of rounds ago: "I honestly hairie just don’t know what’s going on, and i feel pretty much like i can’t play with you or trinica individually because you’ve made it clear that you are a strong duo regardless of the tension, and that things will be leaked in between y’all. It doesn’t make me wanna be honest with either of you, it doesn’t make me feel like a valued number at all. And i said the same to trinica but i feel like I’m floating on a boat rn lol"

I of course immediately exchange notes with Trinica. We've discussed about us not having any game talks with Zo but there was never a mention of pushing Zo's name. In fact other people were telling us to watch out for Zo. (I can't remember who I heard it from).

This round:

Jinx prefers Arvin but Arvin is a number for me and Trinica (we've made it known to people).

I think Colin going is better for my game and Trinica's. The problem with that is that nobody but Jinx is receptive to the idea (for this round). Plus I don't want to make Raffy mad at me or us.

Knowing this, it would be good to convince Jinx that keeping Arvin here would be beneficial for them too because Arvin will be a number to vote for Colin when Jinx wants to.

Adeline wants me gone and is very anti Hairie and Trinica - According to Raffy and what his POV is from convos with Adeline in DMs.

Zo has shown that she want me around and sharing this information.

The middleground that we all can meet at this point is to vote for Adeline. And I'm not oppose to the idea so I hope it works.

I have not heard from Amy, Colin, Brandi, Adeline or Arvin (3am 6th September SGT).

I have to catch a call with Zo and Jinx separately. Then a call with the host pets chat.

We're gonna get it, get it together, I know I'm gonna get it, get it together somehow

Raffy

Trinica and I have landed on an Adeline name because Adeline is throwing Trinica under the bus AND they are getting close with Zo and Colin, which has us concerned. We do not want a powerful trio to be able to topple our own. I think I got Amy on board and we are working on Jinx. We were gonna do Zo, but we decided against it since Jinx gave some push back. And next round we are just gonna do Arvin to appease people and get out a goat. We shall see how this all ends up.

Amy

Ugh raffy said a move on Adeline? 👀 Bc apparently Adeline is closer w zo and Colin and I'm like isn't that good? And I was chatting w zo and she was like Adeline said my name? And then I went to Trin like these are the names I've heard and they were like Adeline made up that they heard Zo's name from trinica? And can I be SO HONEST HERE there's a GLARING PATTERN of EVERYONE hearing things from trinica that are "made up" and then trinica just votes them out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's giving creating your own villain character so others aim that way, the classic move. But anyway apparently trinica was talking with Brandi and raffy about the Adeline vote. Personally I'm fine with voting Arvin here take a number from Trinica. And tbh I'd also be fine voting hairie out with his nonsense of reporting directly and immediately to trinica who is openly trying to make me distrust him. Tbh I might just throw a vote on trinica here "rumors only grow" but like I'm glad I look clueless and out of the circle and out of the line of fire but y'all I guess we just have to wait and see until raffy and trinica fight it out??? bc at this point I feel like those are the puppet masters. I want Trinica OUT I'm scared to SPEAK to ANYONE and have them make me a villain for funsies. I want hairie reporting to ME not Trinica!! Like listen Arvin is a cool dude but he's clearly just a goat for Trin like at least I'm doing a little more while being raffy's goat.

But anyway I might step back and let this be an Adeline v trinica fight.

Jinx

we plan and G-d (the new schoolers inability to keep it together) laughs

Arvin

I really hope it's not me tonight, Its sucks to always be the back up vote just in case there would be an idol play, but I'm gonna give it my all that I'm not going to be voted out tonight.

Amy

AHHHHHHHHHHH

not a secret plan that can go very wrong!!!! Raffy killing me bc even if (when) this blows up it will be hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anyway apparently hairie has an idol and zo, Colin, raffy, me, and an extra vote are blindsiding him. Like the extra vote just gets us to a revote??? Ahahaha anyway silly goofy fun fun times let's ROLL

very concerned jinx will just flip after this 😅 but hairie needed to go anyway and also zo mentioned trinica next maybe which yes 😀

Y'all???? How??? Are??? We??? Doing??? This??? Bye. (Also if it's me this is a hilarious last confessional you're welcome)

Colin

hEY THERES ONLY 10 MINS TO TRIBAL.

ORIGINALLY IT WAS GONNA BE ARVIN

THEN ADELINE WAS KINDA BIMBO AND BLEW UP HER GAME

SO PEOPLE WANNA VOTE ADELINE NOW

EXCEPT ME AND RAFFY HAVE BEEN DOING INVESTIGATING IN THE IDOL HUNT AND DEDUCED THAT HAIRIE HAS AN IDOL

SO NOW WE'RE BLINDSIDING HAIRIE

SHOULD BE FUN

Trinica

(mid-tribal confessional) You're all a bunch of dirty scheming liars!!!!!!

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 131 Rundown

Inuyasha: We get the continuation of the weird demon painting murder women plot from last week and turns out the sealed demon in the painting was a giant salamander needing specifically male skin to revive which doesn’t make much sense given it’s a demon and a female so idk why specifically human male skin is what it needs but okay. Miroku figures out that if he punches the women with sutra charms on his fist he can get them to puke up the baby salamanders so they just kinda go around doing that for a bit until Inuyasha Wind Scar’s the salamander but turns out Sango’s still possessed and she and Miroku honestly have a pretty cool fight like it’s a lot more grounded and melee-based than Inuyasha’s usual sword lasers and Miroku and Sango are a lot more evenly matched. Like in a straight fight without the Wind Tunnel Sango has Miroku’s number any day of the week but he just needs on solid hit to win and after getting carved up a bit he does get it and everything’s all better. They kinda imply that this is Miroku’s fault for pissing off Sango enough for her to go get possessed by demon Salamanders which idk what the ethics of that are like that’s just one of those questions that’s so weird I dunno how to even begin to answer it but I feel like they’re a little hard on Miroku here.We then get a nice little scene of Miroku and Sango talking and Miroku telling her because she’s someone he’s on a murder mission with and someone he risks his life with on a daily basis it’d be unfair to try and put them in any kind of relationship which does kinda check out like Miroku mostly flirts directly with Kagome and Sango at the very beginning of the series and then mostly with tertiary women after they become an established group. But Miroku basically asks Sango to marry him if they both survive all this and return to being normal people which is pretty cool and it’s a really nice scene even if they have to undercut it with Miroku not promising to stop flirting around because we still have like 100 episodes of this fucker to go and we can’t cut a running gag short, we got a lot of filler and shit to make jokes about.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Sensui reveals his martial art to be a mix of that Bruce Lee fluid water deflection shit and Capoera so he flicks off your attacks with his hands and fucking kicks the shit out of you with his long ass yaoi legs. Genkai’s like ‘oh my god you have to know all the martial arts to make that work so it’s like he’s Batman’ but like they also say he basically has the same fighting moves as Yusuke who has zero martial arts training and is just really good at street fighting plus ‘block and kick’ doesn’t sound like the height of martial arts so I guess this is prolly an exaggeration. Anyway Sensui kicks his Spirit Soccer Ball into the building where Shizuka and Botan are and fucking breaks Shizuka’s arm before she can go tell Yusuke that Kuwabara’s the one they’re after but she passes the message to Keiko and this episode is basically a string of people barely missing hearing that Kuwabara’s the target. They chase Sensui through the streets and Kuwabara even fights Sensui and he blocks the fucking sword with his hands and Sensui mentions it couldn’t cut butter so idk if Kuwabara’s default sword got nerfed by him getting his powers back like twelve hours ago or if this is just power creep. Anyway Sensui is able to dance around all of them and split them up so Gamemaster and Gourmet can jump Kuwabara and they legit just throw him into the back of a pickup truck and Yusuke tries to blow them all up and Kuwabara and Kurama are like ‘the fuck dude if that had worked Kuwabara would be dead’ like luckily Sensui’s broken and just kinda flicks it away with his Spirit Soccer Ball, meanwhile Yusuke’s gotta take off after them on a fucking bike and the preview shows him actually catching up to the damn truck like if Kurama came with them they coulda just sliced the tires with his whip but nooo.

Fate/Apocrypha (SPECIAL DOUBLE FINALE!): So Shirou has the Bigger Cup make the whole ‘make everyone soulblobs’ thing happen but because the Bigger Cup continues to be as shitty as the Big Cup it doesn’t make that just happen but instead turns the Hanging Gardens into a Death Star that will absorb enough magical energy to make that happen like why do we even have these Cups they don’t seem to do shit they’re just macguffins that do things that it seems like people could’ve already done with enough planning, it’s like if you wished on the Dragon Balls to become immortal and instead it gave you a ritual for killing a hundred baby seals that gives you eternal life, like fucking Ikea DIY dragon ball bullshit. But yeah Sieg and Jeanne are there now and Shirou’s in his final villain form and they FINALLY find out what his plan is like they’ve been just assuming it was an evil anime villain doomsday plan this whole time and even now it takes some gymnastics to get to why it’s bad. There’s a lot of navelgazing here but the gist of it is you can’t just give humans eternal happiness and peace because they gotta earn that shit and even if they evolve into spirtblobs at some point you gotta let them do it themselves because something given isn’t as meaningful as something earned and if humanity can’t turn into happy little blob people on their own maybe they shouldn’t have it. Kinda strikes me as a ‘you can’t cancel student debt because I worked so hard to pay off my student debt’ argument but I get what they mean in the broader sense like if we skip to the finish line we as a race will never know if we could’ve done it on our own. Like I didn’t know evolving into spiritblobs was on the table but I guess in the Fate universe it is because magic and shit, though given what we’ve seen in Fate Extra the world’s fucked in like a hundred years so idk if that’s gonna happen or what verse everything takes place in. Anyway Gilles gives Jeanne enough of a strawman of this argument for Sieg to make his “Kingdom Hearts is Light” speech and they decide to fight and Jeanne tells Gilles that he’s fucked up and everyone will hate him forever which I mean that’s true but damn girl, I thought Jeanne Alter was the queen of the burns. Like it’s kind of a weird way she explains it to him but the gist of it is something I’ve been trying to put into words for a while like basically there is no karmic scale that erases one mistake because of another good deed you just gotta keep going and do good when you can and avoid bad when you can. Anyway Gilles makes the giant flag wall while Jeanne prays and Jeanne does some fucking metal shit and uses the fires that killed her as a weapon to take out Shirou but Shirou has a black hole in his arm so Jeanne just ends up dying right after having a premonition of Sieg as a dragon which since I’ve played FGO I know what that means. Anyway Shirou’s like ‘yeah bro we don’t have to fight’ and Sieg’s like ‘fuck yeah we do you killed the ancient historical spirit possessing my waifu and I’m not sure which one liked me but I’mma murder you’ and Astolfo comes in but apparently Semiramis has just been hanging back this whole time half dead and chains him down and apparently Astolfo is weak to chains or some shit because he spends half this series chained up. Anyway Shirou and Sieg have a cool anime swordfight and because it wouldn’t be Fate without a Servant we thought was dead turning the tide at the last moment looks like Fran possessed Sieg with some kind of hamon power transfer bullshit and just has decided not to help until now for drama so being half-powered by two different servants lets Sieg go Super Saiyan and do a kamikaze tree blast when Shirou impales him. Also Shakespear is there.

And with the finale we get Shirou and Semiramis dying and then Shakespeare falls off a cliff or some shit. Sieg’s transported to the Majora’s Mask Moon with Astolfo and is like ‘oh no everyone will be immortal and happy and that’s still bad for some reason I can’t quite remember’ I don’t know enough about Siegfried’s legend but for some reason him taking over Sieg’s body turns him into a dragon or something idk so Sieg’s like ‘okay sure turn me into a dragon and I’ll do some mythological bullshit so nobody gets eternal life but me’ so yeah humans have to keep being dicks to each other until the moon burns out or whatever happens in Extra like I get the point is supposed to be an optimism that humanity will eventually progress to a point where they’re good on their own but I just don’t share that optimism. Anyway Sieg’s a dragon, Laetcia goes back to school and tries to forget about that one summer she was the incarnation of a historical figure I guess, she’s really kinda rolling with that pretty well honestly for being a normal-ass girl who’s pretty religious I guess. Astolfo’s still being fed by the moon dragon energy so he gets to go around and show everyone his monster energy drink can and convince them there is hope for this world and I guess he’s doing a pretty good job of that even out of universe. Caules goes to Fate Hogwarts and is assimilated into Waver’s wacky crew that I assume is fleshed out more in the Waver series (man at least Marvel tells you what order to watch the million series they come out with for them to make sense, feel like there’s no starting point for Fate where you’re not already missing info) and apparently his sister is getting physical therapy to learn to walk again which is something she can just… do I guess? Like did they legit just stick her in a doc ock chair and not try to help her? Or did the magic dolphin sex with her brother lift the burden of the crest thing to let her be able to heal enough to work towards that idk. But yeah Jeanne and Sieg meet again at the end of the universe and I gotta admit it is kind of the most romantic shit like I love the whole ‘even in oblivion I’ll find you’ trope and it’s only slightly undercut by the fact versions of both of these characters exist in FGO and live under the same roof and never talk to each other.

Speed Grapher:  Okay this finale episode starts out fantastically with Saiga calling Suitengu out for what I was calling him out for a couple episodes: him killing his sister was not necessarily an act of mercy but him not being able to handle her becoming a mentally damaged sex worker like it wasn’t that she was beyond rehabilitation but that Suitengu was too far gone to even see her as human anymore and I am very glad that came up in the text of the story. But yeah this is all basically Suitengu’s guilt trip dragging Kagura into this. Meanwhile as missiles are literally crashing into the place, Saiga fights Suitengu and Ginza’s fighting Makabe and Tsujido. Makabe is crushed saving Tsujido from the rubble and Tsujido unleashes his Euphoria Factor which allows him to legit turn into a wolf all Wolf’s Rain style like I figured that’s what it probably would be. Ginza gives him a chance to just leave and live but Tsujido knew this was a suicide mission and comes after her so she knifes and shotguns him, reflecting they were both pining for a man that would never be theirs. Saiga and Ginza meet on the roof and find Kagura who turns out is NOT dead but was just like sleeping or some shit. Turns out she’s bought into Suitengu’s guilt trip and wants to die here to attone for creating all the Euphorics despite her literally being unconscious and manipulated by adults for the whole thing. Saiga rightly tells her what a dumb idea this is and that she isn’t an adult yet and you don’t get to go off and make dumb decisions based off random teenage flings of angst and she needs to go and live now so he can fulfill her promise to make her free. Meanwhile Blood Sephiroth is back on the roof and it’s time for Saiga and Suitengu to have their final showdown. Ginza fights with Kagura about how she wanted to be best girl instead and fucking knocks her out to drag her ass out of the tower because she’s working on her integrity character arc. Meanwhile Saiga’s basically 90% blind at this point as is no fucking match for Suitengu and uses his last shot to preemptively blow up the missile heading for the roof so it doesn’t kill them and buys more time for Kagura to get out. Suitengu watches Saiga blind and buried in rubble and flies him to a nearby rooftop before going back into the building and meeting a wounded dog!Tsujido and having him carry him to the vent controls and fucking cooks the entire Roppongi club and Tennouzu Tower in a huge fucking fire, taking $18 Trillion of combined private and public investments out of the Japanese economy so Anime America gets nothing from this transaction and the total $40 trillion of Japanese debt evaporates from the global economy and fucks up the whole system while money literally rains down into the streets.

The epilogue is five years later, the last surviving member of Suitengu’s Team Rocket trio is now a mob boss gathering cash for memorial towers for his three fallen friends, Ginza’s rookie policeman buddy took Saiga’s job and is an amateur newspaper photographer and Bob and Saiga are apparently living together overtop the transvestite bar from the first couple episodes and all those girls are doing well too, think some got their surgeries too so good for them. Saiga’s blind but takes a single picture of the city from every day to show how it’s changing. Ginza apparently went from being a hot cop to a hot nurse working with Friendly Doctor in Africa and apparently those two got married, like they didn’t talk at all in the series but it’s been five years and I’m glad she found a guy she likes that’s not a camerasexual and she found her own form of self-respect, good character arc. Kagura’s supposed to be with them but they notice there’s no mention of her in the latest letter and it’s revealed she’s returned to Tokyo and ends the series by saying she’s home and giving Saiga a big hug. I’m glad they left any romantic possibilities between them ambiguous given the age difference like a lot of series feel the need to give in to the shipping but here they leave the potential open for that while not outright saying it for anyone that it would turn off which I think is probably a smart move since I tend to like a more parental relationship between them anyway. Honestly yeah I’ll be honest I was anxious the ending would get weird about the potential ship very fast given how long ago this was made and how much more was considered acceptable at the time but they very neatly averted anything by leaving it open-ended. Honestly Speed Grapher kinda nailed its ending and this series has been one of my favorites in a long time, like the action and animation aren’t the best but it has so much cool shit in it and the story’s pretty solid and most importantly it didn’t do anything to majorly piss me off at the end and actively answered some of my nagging problems throughout so yeah major points, love this series, god damn.

Now with two shows down I'm down to just two shows, not sure if I'll go back up to seven or stick to a smaller number but I definitely want to pick up some new shows for the block soon since I've been holding off in case Toonami gets some of the big names for their block but it looks like they're dragging their feet with new anime and sticking to Gendy and DC for their new stuff and preferring double blocks instead of new shows. So I'm prolly gonna say fuck it and just go ahead and watch what I want and if they do end up showing it on the block down the line they shouldn't have held out so long idk. Might have a poll up for some of the biggest candidates for suggestions but yeah, thanks!

[maxyboii527]

AND NOW, PRESENTING (what i should have presented ages ago but completely forgot about,)

BEST THEATER QUOTES (Mostly Mr. J)

Ten Ways to Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

s = student

J = Mr. J

s "Can I eat these grapes?"

J "Yeah, but dont spill or I'll take away your birthday"

J "I think all of you are gonna die in this scene, I gotta read the script again"

s "Can I get hit with an axe?"

J *tiredly* "Dear god-"

J "Asher- wait- UGHHH i mean ARCHER"

J "If one of you- ugh this is cringe, but if one of you wanna do this *dabs* go ahead"

J "This isn't the booty show"

J "If you all just walk in quietly it feels like a weird cult"

J "Maybe eat a rat? I don't know, thats what you guys eat"

J "I'm just gonna move you all like mannequins"

J "She has EXPIRED, she has EXPIRED"

J "Who's reading a Brandon Sampson book? Oh, he's a good author :)"

J "THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC! *running offstage* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- wait- *running back on stage* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

s "So everybody gets to watch me get eaten?"

J "Yup"

s "This is abuse! This is Jimmy abuse!"

J "The BLOCKS"

J "When you hear 'meat shield', that's a very weird queue, but when you hear that, get up"

J "My Amazon search history... is going to be very weird"

J "Zombies, you can't read"

s "aw :("

J "We're about to have peace, but not really, because SOMEONE *looks at susan* is going to ruin it"

J "I think all of you are gonna be consumed"

J "I don't know if I want Christy to make it"

J "I think you'll have nerf guns as well"

s "Can I shoot the survivors too?"

J "NOOOOOOO- jeez, you guys are morbid-"

J "-And then I think we'll feast on Christy"

J "You'll rise up, take her down- AHHHH-"

s "brains-"

J "LOUDER"

s "brAINS"

J "There's only like, 10 backflips I need you to do. Just kidding. Or not, you'll never know :)"

J "Alright, impress me! no pressure"

J "I can breakdance! I'll break something-"

J "You aren't gonna like this, but I love you-"

J "I know I lied, but this time I'm not lying"

J "Did you just flop onto the floor?"

s "Yeh"

J "Behave or I'll put you in a tote and close the lid. You'll have to stay here overnight"

J "Wow, that is morbid but I love it"

J "After Nana gets consumed, what happens next?"

J "Ugh, that would be a weird amazon purchase. I have 15 rats coming so probably not too weird though"

J "It's so sad" *laughs*

s "So where are these zombies coming from anyway?"

s "Global warming"

s "Makes sense"

s "Zombies are imaginary, just like Britney Spears!"

J "No one cares about your little emotional issues, ok"

J "And then- aw, I don't have the music for that yet :("

J "Try to do it on the other side so we can see you choking him- things I thought I'd never say..."

J "Times are tough in the apocalypse 🤷‍♂️"

J "I love it! We're all gonna be a hot mess- we're all gonna be a hot mess together :)"

J "Yeah, she might need resuscitation again"

J "Jimmy, Allee, you're doin great :)"

*Jimmy and Allee are dead on the floor*

J "Jim's a little cold by now, but you can feast on him too. He's like leftovers!"

J "All you wanted was peace, but she took a piece out of you"

J "First we need to determine who's the most attractive person here!"

*narrator stands up*

s "uhm, no" *pulls him back down*

J "You don't have time to tie your shoes in the apocalypse!"

J "Who has not had a chance to be eaten?"

s "I'm too pretty to die!"

s "Take him, he's German!"

J "We did decide to kill them, didn't we!"

J "We ready for scene seven?"

s "Yuh!"

J "Yuh, get into it!"

J "We have a surprise guest! It's cranky Mr. J >:("

J *on megaphone* "Hey, I'm using this now"

*falls really hard*

s "Asher, ya good?"

s "YeAh"

J "Ok, zombies, we're too boring- I know that sounds mean, but I'm sorry"

s "I'm deceased, I have to go die"

s "Hey, I've totally moved on!"

*looks at brick wall with 'Sam x Susan' graffitied on it*

s "Yeah, mhm"

s "Will eating us make you happy?"

J *nodding* "yep"

s "Will it fill the aching hole in your heart?"

J *still nodding* "You bet"

J "Yeah, zombies, if you die, you can get back up"

s "Except me?"

J "Except you."

s "Haha! Never trust the narrators, we're like the media!"

s "So... if I were the last guy on Earth-"

s "I'd date the zombies."

s "Fair enough-"

J "Middle schoolers scare me, when I have to pass through the cafeteria at lunch I'm terrified"

J "We're gonna keep an eye on this red thing- if it starts smoking, turn it off"

J "Dear god, I hope no one loses their pants on stage"

J "It's good practice for if you go to prison :)"

J "Guys, back up, you make me nervous"

J "It's ok, I don't teach math"

*is a calculus teacher*

J "This is what you'll do when you go to prison! Don't smile for your mugshot though"

J "Let's run the show with fog, we'll see if anything starts on fire"

J "I'd be screaming if I was being eaten alive"

s "I'm not becoming a granny, my skin's just dry"

J "I love mutilating chickens on stage"

J "Just dont fall off the stage, thats my goal"

J "Did someone die? nobody die until after Thursday"

J "Welp, she's deceased"