#just pages of notes of little ideas

[lady-assnali]

Ok, as promised here’s the continuation of This Part where Gigi comes back from Paris and Crystal is confused about things. With Jan’s advice, Crystal has to talk feelings

“I missed you so much, I’m so glad you’re here.” Gigi swings open the door and throws herself at Crystal, nearly knocking her over in the process. She wraps her arms around her and squeezes tight, burying her face in Crystal’s shoulder. The brunette sinks into the feeling for just a moment before stepping back, clearing the fuzziness from her headspace.

           “Are you embarrassed by me?” Well, shit. That isn’t how she’d intended to have this conversation. Gigi falters in her own movements, stopping in her tracks and spinning around with wide eyes.

           “What?” Her mouth stays open a bit, her head tilting. “Crys, I-what?”

           “I didn’t mean to ask you so up-front. That was supposed to come out really, really differently. I just-I need to talk to you, I didn’t want to chicken out.”

           “Okay, I…can we sit down?”

           She gestures for the couch and Crystal slips off her shoes, leaving them by the door. Gigi paces around the room, closing cabinets and tossing her blanket over the back of the couch, rearranging the pillows. Finding her place on the couch, Crystal sits on the edge of her seat. The room is suddenly filled with an awkward sort of tension. Gigi looks as if she’s about to cry, deflated and confused and uncomfortable in her own skin. For a moment, Crystal considers dropping the whole conversation. Then, she sees Nicky’s sweatshirt draped over the back of the armchair by the window. This isn’t a later conversation; it has to be done now.

           “Do you really think I’m embarrassed by you?” Gigi starts, her voice an imitation of the way she shrinks into herself.

           “I mean…yeah, kind of. Actually, not just kind of. I’ve been thinking that for a while now.”

           “Crystal,”

           “Why don’t you ever stay during my lives?” Gigi stiffens in her seat, shifting her gaze to the floor. The action both infuriates Crystal and upsets her even further. “Why don’t you ever do any of yours here? You always say how much people love to see you work, but you’re always doing them when I’m not around. I just…I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. My brain is putting things together.”

           It takes Gigi a long time to respond. Her lower lip is jutted out slightly, her head down. She runs a hand through her hair. She shifts in her seat. She breathes slowly until she’s finally looking up at Crystal, eyes glossed over with emotion.

           “I’ve been doing it on purpose. You’re right.”

           “Okay.”

           “But it’s not because of that; Crystal, I could never be embarrassed by you. You’re my favorite person on this earth. I miss you every second of time I’m traveling. I’m obsessed with your art, and your drive, and your passion, and I just…people were ruining that. They will ruin that.”

           “Wha-what do you mean?”

           “The only time I posted you in my story after getting my first job was just…I didn’t realize what I was doing. We were both at the studio; you were painting and I was trying to get some designs done. You put on some 90s hits station or whatever and we were just jamming, hanging out, I thought it would be a cute little thing to put on there like we always do. But then people were commenting on the story asking who you were, going to your profile, snooping around…they were throwing out some pretty hurtful things.”

           “Oh.”

           “I deleted the post and made sure the people who commented were blocked. It just…it threw me. I didn’t realize everything that comes with this. You have a full career ahead of you, you’re insanely talented, and I’m just getting likes for putting clothes on and looking pretty. And these idiots can’t see that.”

           “Why didn’t you say anything?”

           “I didn’t want you to deep dive. I didn’t want any of that to get stuck in your head, or to mess you up. I’m realizing now that I made that decision for you.”

           “Yeah, you did. And it still messed me up-I don’t get comments, sure,  but you not having anything to do with me was just so confusing. Because you’re always saying things about Nicky, or Symone, or any of your other friends. Just not me.”

           “I know, I see that now. I never meant to hurt you, you’re just…you’re different than everyone else. Knowing that people could hurt you just because you’re my friend? Knowing that I would be the person that triggered all this negativity? It’s a shitty excuse, but seeing you hurt like that would kill me.”

           Crystal doesn’t respond. She digs her toes into the carpet, head swirling with conflicting feelings. She wants to forgive Gigi immensely, hug her and reassure her and coddle her until they’ve both forgotten this even happened. Another part of her, the stubbornness inherited by the long line of powerful women in her family, forces her to keep her eyes off of Gigi and her head clear.

           “People can hurt everyone else you’re tagging too.” She murmurs. Gigi bites her bottom lip, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “I just wish you said something sooner, or gave me the choice. I just…I’m lost in the shuffle, y’know? And you say you value me more than that,”

           “-I do,”

           “-Then just…I don’t know. I’m not asking you to make some big long best friends forever post because that feels icky. I don’t want to come across as the kind of friend who doesn’t like you having other friends. I’m happy that you have people in your corner when you’re gone. I just want to be able to let people know how proud I am of you without it crossing some kind of invisible boundary. We talk about everything, and this just came out of nowhere.”

           “You’re right. I’m sorry, Crys.” She shuffles closer to her on the couch, grabbing her arm. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re less than. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’m really really sorry.”

           She’s near tears now, and Crystal squeezes her hand before opening her arms. Gigi falls into them, engulfing her in a tight hug with her legs curled up behind her. They sit like this for a while, contemplating where to go from here when one half of their world knows who Crystal is and the other is completely unaware. She’d been in one photo before, when Gigi had seen her first billboard, but it had been from behind and was tucked away in her feed, buried by professional photos and PR packages. Bringing her to light feels like coming out all over again, and it strikes a nervous chord for both of them even though they’re only admitting friendship.

           After a while Gigi pulls her phone off of the coffee table, tapping her fingers against the screen nervously. She wipes at the bottom of her eyes, opening the front facing camera.

           “Would you be ready to meet the world now?” She asks. The question comes out a bit slow, hesitant, but Crystal nods enthusiastically.

“Wait, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this right now.”

“I do have to do this right now, but not because I have to. I have to do this because I need to make things right. I never want you to feel less than again.”

The model can see her best friend nod through the screen, pressing their faces together. Crystal’s smile is brilliant; effervescent. Gigi isn’t crafting an image of herself, rather she lets the expression on her own face come naturally. After she takes the photo, she briefly contemplates posting it. Her eyes are wide like saucers, and she’s sure the world can see the way she’s lit up, turned into one giant heart. Maybe this is the look Nicky teases her about after she hangs up with Crystal when they’re away. Maybe this is the dead giveaway. But if Crystal is ready for the world to see them, then she’ll do it.

           She’ll just have to ignore her followers exposing her for who she really is; a person painfully  in love with their best friend.

[cyanbobaaaaa]

DAY 6-9 OF DRAWING PHIGHTING OCS

(These have been in my gallery for way too long -_-)

Origami belongs to: @catdemons13

Clown Bomb belongs to: @circusparadox

Bomb and Coil belongs to my good silly: @machinesheart

hope y’all like em!!!

reminder that I draw any and all phighting ocs yall send in asks (if I don’t respond I probs won’t draw em)

[eyelinerdean]

oh my god dean wanted to be a rockstar. do you think he wrote songs

[seaofreverie]

I listened to a new Sparks album and it was all I could think about for two weeks straight afterwards, a.k.a. My Hello Young Lovers Review

Okay, so here's my fabled review (I mentioned having written it once about three months ago, so I guess there's a chance that someone still remembers that). It's hecking long (seriously, it's long.) and consists mostly of me pointing out specific sections of the songs and raving about which specific elements of the songs I particularly like. And also attempting to make some sort of general statement on the style / atmosphere / themes etc. of the whole thing. I wrote this back in november, after 5 full listens of the album, over the course of about a week, and I didn't update it with any new opinions that I have formed since, to keep it true to that original form, besides some side notes where I thought they'd be useful to add. I hope you enjoy my yapping, however unprofessional and all over the place this whole thing probably is.

How to start album reviews? Well, I could sum up the general vibe / thing / feel / theme with the album but that seems much more fitting for the conclusion of the whole thing.

So let's kick this off with the first thing we see instead!! The album cover, the sleeve! (note: I got this album on vinyl for that first listening experience, the 2022? reissue) Ohh so pretty and cute, isn't it? Even inside, so much pink, even over-the-toply-so (for real though, I didn't even really think about what to expect from the inner cover, besides some photos that I knew would be there, but it was certainly not THIS. level of pink and cute), it looks so pleasant and sweet, doesn't it? And the band photos too, fun times all around!

Oh wow, ok, let's get back to reality here, I knew what I was in for (knowing just one track and excerpts of other two + reading misc comments on the album before already, as it is inevitable, you know. And frankly, that was actually the exact right amount of info from that commentary for a peak enjoyment here. Not going in totally blind but still encountering many surprises). This is a prime and, imo, very well executed example of mood dissonance. In a way where, idk, maybe it comes from me still having this even small amount of info beforehand, but it's the kind of situation that you can actually tell that something is off.

So yeah, the visual aspect of the album does fit it and I'd even say it does so VERY well, but as to how and why, maybe I should start exploring the atmosphere and themes and elements of individual songs first so we can make more general conclusions from that! So yes, I think it's time to dive in!

1) Dick Around ▪︎

Shortly put, amazing, showstopping and life changing song. And one of the earliest ones for me too! As a part of the extremely important and memorable playlist (note: my first time hearing a bunch of random popular sparks songs), it appeared somewhere in the latter half on the mix and oooh boy, was hearing this song for the first time, on the road in the dark evening too, an experience. I certainly found it intriguing to say the least, maybe I wasn't yet completely SOLD you know, and let's not forget that the second time I heard it (july) it actually kind of freaked me out in a way, but still, it certainly made an impression immediately. There's a reason this is one of the more well known / popular / important songs of theirs overall. This song is truly a journey and it messes with you in so many ways, oooohhh so many ways. I was super looking forward to hearing it again properly after being teased with some parts of it in the more recent weeks, so ok, maybe this is where I get to the individual parts I want to talk about.

Actually wait, first let's maybe say something about the placement. Of course it's the first song as I was pretty much certain it would be (and maybe already had kind of possibly spoiled..?), and it does work incredibly well as a mood-setter for the rest of the album, so it truly couldn't work any other way in my view. So yes, speaking of parts, there are so many different ones! Hearing this again was extra fun also because I would remember the main "point" / mantra of the song ("all I do now... is dick around") but not much else, then be reminded of another notable but very different part, then listen after this whole time properly on pretty much repeat now and be aware of those other little touches and bits that bring it all together...

So, let's start with the pleasant vocals & piano break near the beginning, it's, well... I just really like it (I hope I'll be able to say more specific things about other elements in these songs that I think need to be mentioned as I go on LOL), and right after that we have some very nice strings, then, suspenseful strings!! Idk why but I really really like it when those come in, they really set the unnerving classical tone that follows and returns throughout the album, then the same "calm" / bouncy vocal melody and a more "all over the place" piano returns (at least from what I remember, the notes are sort of more expansive in range in this part I think...). And soon enough... we reach the real moment of the song when it gets, well, real. And very intense. And this is almost jumpscare-like, ohhhh it's so good, even when you know you can expect it it still hits the spot amazingly.

So this is the rocking part that's honestly pure distilled joy and amazement to hear for me each time, the repeated echoey "hey hey"s for a second there are just the icing on the cake, so so so good. And, in fact, it doesn't get more rocking than this for the rest of the album. Dissappointing? Maybe it WOULD be, if there weren't other things still going on later, which were also in their own ways showstopping, so I think that yeah, those can make up for all that follows not really coming close to this level of unhinged. And this is the right word here I think, unhinged!! Damn, this freaking song. Like for a second there I remembered that in one of my early-ish hearings I just found it almost uhhh, unbearably raw? Idk if it's the right word but yeah, it gets... ugly for a second (I need to stop cringing at every more unusual / to the point word I use or I won't be able to write any genuine reviews in my life). Before going back to the main mantra of course! And then it goes on in a circle a bit more again, with more changes and some progression of the story and all that. And end on the mantra again. I don't know if I'm leaving out any super important bits here, I might be... Well, it comes back to full on rocking near the end too, with some variation too, so that's awesome! And very suspenseful and unnerving strings too for a moment!

So, should I talk about the lyrics / the story just a bit now? Ok, I won't go super deep into these or any of the following ones, I'll try to focus more on specific bits and the feelings that come with them and a general "theme" if anything. So, I think this song and its story is very engaging and I like it a lot and it certainly provokes further thoughts and ponderings, those 6 and a half minutes fly by super fast (guess that's just the power with sparks and their long songs, it's kind of incredible how maybe this goes ESPECIALLY for songs that rely a LOT on repetition, because those might work this trend the best), lots of variation, while still keeping some prominently repetitive / reoccurring parts balances it very well. You're really just thrown from one part to the next with this song. Ok, I wrote a lot about just one song and I feel like there's still more I could say if I thought about it hard, but let's move on now, we don't have all day (night)...

2) Perfume ▪︎

This is a favourite. An instant favourite. Right away this song grabbed me with its subdued, brooding and honestly pretty dark tone and sound. Low vocals, kind of ragged but driving guitar sound, and the DRUMS. They do SO much for this track, something about this specific drum pattern / style is very pleasant to me, very atmospheric. It's like a specific pattern that works to deliver some kind of effect (ok, I think through that, in a way, I just described the whole thing with repetition in sparks' music, especially in this era, nice, I guess that's how I view it and why it works so well) there's still a lot of interesting stuff going on there, plus it just sounds nice, idk. Once again, maybe "driving" is a good word for it. But now I need to mention that there is this one odd-one-out part that sounds much more cheerful, or maybe hopeful (and it returns again near the end). Because it has this specific thing, the different intonation of the SAME lyrics than the rest of the song ("and that's why...") feels strangely emotional. It certainly hit ME in the feels once I noticed it, so, yeah!!

So I think this is one of the darkest songs in mood and sound, while it also has something extremely COOL about its sound that I can't really categorize, I think I'm gonna feel like repeating this for every other song on the album but it just feels so CLASSIC, it's that typical song that always existed type of feel, yeah. But here it's less so due the melody necessarily, and more due to the whole picture. With some others it's also the song as a whole of course but they don't necessarily feel as much as a representation of a whole THING / genre / type of song / feeling in music of sorts (I'm really bad at articulating my exact views on these, am I not...) rather than those specific special moments that just bring it all to the next level. But OHHH I can't believe I almost forgot this, but the piano lines (I mean the post-chorus ones specifically) in this song, oh my goddddd!!!!!!! They're truly THE thing that sold me on this song completely, they're just so... something. So I guess this song also has that special "it" moment after all, doesn't it? Well, still possibly not quite as prominently as the next one, because...

3) The Very Next Fight ▪︎

Well, this is the kind of song that's completely made up of those specific parts making a very special whole. Starting with, of course, that melody line during the chorus "it's always the same. It's always the same". But maybe, just to be fair, I should actually start with where the song actually starts so, well, hmmm, the beginning. The very solemn piano and overall kind of heavy atmopshere here kind of slows down the momentum after the first two songs, and it delivers something quite different instead. So yeah, well, that chorus melody!! Oh wow!!! Isn't it so simple though? But it works so well!! It's simply beautiful honestly. It absolutely is! And later the electric guitar comes in for more effect and oh wow, it feels so incredible, yeah. And then some more solemnity with the... I think harpsichord?

This track feels very empty (as in the atmosphere, I'm not actually calling it empty as a bad thing or something like that, no no no!!) in some parts, then it has those emotionally charged bits, and let's not forget that it has some more really amazing guitarwork near the end. That kind of guitar "wailing" sounds beautiful in its own right too, it also kind of reminds me of some other rock-adjacent genre(s), I can't tell what exactly though...

4) (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country ▪︎

In all honesty, after my first listen I decided that this was probably the song I was the least impressed by? Kinda strange, yeah, because I no longer think that, and yeah, it was another one that I was only slightly familiar with already. Very slightly. It's a very interesting song once again, I think it's really unique after some thought actually (as are most all of the songs on this record tbh, obviously). It's unique, but it once again has this special classic quality to it that just feels like it represents a very specific type of sound.

I wanna say that the chord progression in the chorus might be some variation of one of the "usual" progressions although OF COURSE I might be very wrong here, it's just the feeling I get because maybe it's worth mentioning that 1) a while ago I started noticing this one type of progression in songs that made them sound very similar to Kiss Me, Son of God (They Might Be Giants song), so I figured it must mean that KMSOG is just in some kind of typical progression that is used a lot, especially in country-sounding songs from my experience 2) there was also an element of some classic rock / rock&roll (?) / punk (??) songs that also made them sound very alike after a while when I started listening to this one internet radio station recently, idk if it's the same progression or its variation or if all those songs use different variations mostly but are still based on a very similar thing at the end of the day, but yeah. I might still not understand chords or be able to catch them while listening, but there's now at least a little part of that whole section of music theory that I might be able to recognise in music just by myself, so that's some major music literacy development on my part I think... Anyway, maybe the progression in this song didn't even remind me of that usual pattern specifically, but it just made me think of that thing nevertheless, maybe it's similar, maybe it's not... So this was kind of an irrelevant tangent on my part, oops.

So ok, let's get to the jist of this... What exactly I like about this song and such, or just what I wanna mention. Well, I wanna mention that this is probably one of the more repetitive songs, also one of the longest I think, maybe the third longest, I wouldn't be surprised by that (the opener and closer are both pretty tough competition in the length department) but it doesn't feel monotonous, it flies by super fast, once again.

I think it's also possibly the brightest sounding song on the record, the word that immediately sprung to mind here is "triumphant". Certainly fitting with all those awesome horns!! They're truly what really sets this song apart. I'm especially a fan of the horns in the bridge part, I think it's the bridge. Sooo so cool sounding, kind of "descending". I also really like the layering of the different vocals and their melodies and such, the acoustic guitar also brings it all soooo nicely together, it's so pleasant sounding, especially in the quieter "baby, let's invade" part.

Idk what else to say, very awesome song though and I definitely don't mind listening to it twice (with the repeat as a bonus track, which I'll also get to briefly at the end) at all, in fact this might be the least "intrusive" song in a sense, so that makes the best choice for a repeat, if I had to choose, I could see myself going with this one, it's just very pleasant all around.

5) Rock, Rock, Rock ▪︎

So things get real once again, huh. This is one of the songs that I count in the category of kind of sick and twisted but in a way where I only respect them more for making it, so that puts it right next to, hmmmm, sherlock holmes for sure, maybe some others I can't think of right now. Big part of that factor is surely played by the repetition which just works, well, very well. Specifically the choruses.

One part of this song I was pleasantly reminded of on my first few listens were the short strings interludes, they really give it some of that pleasant classical feel (a separate thing from what i describe as classic feel here!) that I could say kind of contrast with the song and its atmosphere in general. Or maybe spruce it up, idk, we do have very dramatic strings during the verses too... The very deep drum sound is also pretty prominent in this track I think, pretty great.

As to some more notable parts in the vocals department... Let's just say that the way Russell says some words is very, uhhhhhh, effective (i think this sounds more cursed than it should, but i mean exactly that, the delivery just really hits you... and other times it's kind of silly instead). And also, with that repetition and it creating something great in mind, there's the repeated "and since you put-" part near the end that's also really great. The repeated "I"s in the bridge I think also need a mention. It's like they know exactly what word / phrase to repeat, what amount of times, and in which part of the song for it to work the best, like the perfect placement and number.

I think this song also has a bit of a fake ending, so that's also something of note, especially when it's supposed to sound as dramatic as possible (at least that's the idea I get from it). And actually, oh, so does the previous song! I forgot that part even though it's even more noticeable / memorable in that song than it is here imo.

6) Metaphor •

Second half of the album starts off with something that's very elegant and all the while very pleasant and melodic, all of which makes it a very nice track, even in a more usual pop song sense. Some very cool piano to start things off, and the electric guitar accompaniment, which also enters pretty early on. And then we have that slightly more strange part, kind of like an early bridge, that honestly has a bit of a comical effect imo (with no disrespect intended!!)? As in, I find it kind of funny and silly personally. Yeah, the "who's up for a metaphor" part, especially when we get the repeated "don't don't"s and "we we"s, and, well, what follows is what's definitely the greatest part(s) of the song, when Russell enters his falsetto mode and we get the "aaaaa-ªªªªª..." etc. backup vocals in choruses. Those are the moments of the song that are just, well, ONCE again that classic factor that makes the melody & everything else super special. But more specifically, I think those parts are just kind of beautiful. Yeah, I'd say this song is the prettiest in sound that this album gets overall. Truly wonderful and gets you excited for the remaining songs.

Meanwhile, the spellings of dig as d-i-g might feel kind of random I guess? But it works. Adds variety or whatever (note: it's also a very good moment of a rhythm change I believe, I think now that's what makes it sound as cool and satisfying as it does). So yeah, kind of a heavenly song I think, in a sense, also one of my top faves just for that factor (note: this song is now probably my favourite on HYL, and also among my top fav Sparks songs overall. It wasn't instant, but it grew on me quickly and oh man, I truly love this song so much now)

7) Waterproof •

I think this is kind of an odd-one-out actually? And why? I think it's probably the closest on the album to being sort of a fully, or at least MOSTLY, "normal" song. It doesn't have so many parts that are just downright weird and unexpected I'd say, it's just kind of friendly instead compared to the other ones (note: it took me perhaps too long to realize that this song just doesn't have quite as much repetition, which most other songs here rely on heavily, so that's definitely what makes it stand out the most). Not that it's an entirely bad thing! Sometimes you gotta slow down and relax a bit I guess...

I do appreciate the kind of sudden switch with the "the sky is starting to cloud up" part, and the little orchestral bit right after the first time the aforementioned switch happens (the second? or generally some later time it happens again there are also some very awesome horns! Really starts feeling like a quaint rainy street in some french town or something...) when, well, I was going to say that the vocals and the strings do the same melody, but they actually don't, at least not fully, still though, I did have that illusion before I made sure it wasn't the case with another relisten, either way, when it DOES happen, and Sparks do that a whole lot I feel like, it's always quite awesome, I mean, syncing the vocal melody with some other prominent intrument's melody...

The I think harpsichord also makes a return, yay! And then there's the guitar part, that does have some real surprise factor when it comes in, but this time for sort of the opposite reason - it sounds bright and nice this time around, and also it reminds me of Sparks' later style tbh, specifically in their following more rock-centric songs of course. And I think that's very nice, we see the always progressing evolution of their sound here I think. That guitar bit also has some album closer vibes, that kind of fake closer (or nearly-closer) situation kind of reminds me of a similar thing I experienced with Bon Voyage on Propaganda for example (note: I have since learned that Bon Voyage IS the closer on Propaganda, and the following two songs on streaming are just b-sides. So it makes sense that it would sound like an album closer because it IS one).

Annnddd the last thing that I just can't forget about here is Russell's another epic falsetto moment (waterwatereverywherebutnotadroponme!~) that part actually makes me smile. Yeah. Legit. I paid attention and I did smile on that part during my relisten today. ... Ok, let's go on.

8) Here Kitty •

When this song came on the first time during my vinyl listening I of course instantly knew exactly which song it was (bcs I've heard the title before, and a few words on it too) and had this little amused "oh no" moment. And, well, turns out this song is actually very awesome and veeeery interesting! It adds something really unique to the album. I saw someone call it quite impressive in the vocals / vocal lines layering department recently (in the last week, so already after hearing it myself I'm pretty sure) and I absolutely agree.

First off, let's settle that - this is a very strange song. But that's exactly what makes it so good of course. The strangeness keeps you so distracted from this fact, that when we reach the bridge of the song you suddenly realize that beneath all the "tatata"s, meows and unsettling rising piano notes we have the very much usual song structure with verses and choruses. Yeah, I think I actually sort of figured it out, what might be the verse, and what might be the chorus... Speaking of which, the parts that I identified as choruses have this, well, it's the same thing all over again (but each time the specialness comes from a different place and is totally different of course), but that very classic feel, indicative of maybe even some specific genre but idk what exactly...

Besides that, well, maybe let's go back to my oh no moment for a minute, and let me say that I either am very illiterate in that sense (and yeah I am tbh) or the lyrics aren't as overtly, let's say, innuendo-filled? as I expected. They actually have a semblance of a story you know... I mean, NO, not even a semblance, it IS a story! Let me also say that this is a very interesting song to have stuck in your head a lot over the course of pretty much an entire week. Yes, it got to the point where it could be annoying. One last bit of the song I really like is at the very end, when one vocal line starts to sound kind of echoey / distant, nice touch.

9) There's No Such Thing as Aliens •

The song that first cemented itself as being by far the shortest song on the album, sort of an interlude before the incoming epicness of the last one (that was quite literally my very first impression before I even heard either, looking at the vinyl this one was visibly much shorter than the last, and of course I expected the last one to be fittingly grand, and so it was obviously, but we'll get to that in a minute). The funny thing is, it's not even that short, as I figured even before eventually making sure how long it was in fact, and that's almost 3 minutes, which, well, of course that's still something around well over two times shorter than the last song.

But enough about its length, this song actually does kind of work as an interlude thematically too, which it is? it sort of even feels like it doesn't quite fit with the themes of the other ones, I mean, maybe not that it doesn't fit but just that it's defintely the furthest removed from the much more similar topics of the other ones (more about that also later!). Plus it's pretty sparse lyrically, once again, there's less you can fit in under 3 minutes anyway. Which supports the interlude argument also I believe.

Anyway, the music. First of all, waltz time!! Always a treat in sparksland to have that rare spooky 3/4 time track. The feeling I get from this track is: grand, very orchestral, anddd, hmmmm, elegant. But is it more elegant than the rest of the album... Idk, I wanted to use 3 different descriptors. I honestly don't think there's much more to say about this one, it's great, the melody is really great, the grandiosity of the choruses, the even more notable waltz time during verses. I think that yeah, I could pick this track as the most orchestral / classical inspired of the album. One cool moment I'll mention though would be the very ending, with the repeated "no"s going for longer than you'd expect them to maybe, and the deep drum accompanying all that. Very grand ending.

10) As I Sit Down to Play the Organ at the Notre Dame Cathedral •

Well, how do I even start on this one. I think I can say that with literally each single listen I become more and more in awe of this song. Could I even call it even more of a journey than the opener? In a sense, yeah. There's so much going on here. So much that I almost feel like breaking it down into individual parts and giving all of them their due because they all work for the amazingness of the whole. In fact, I might even already have this track roughly memorized (all... 7 minutes of this track) so it could be done. But ok, I'll just go with each part as I remember it, we'll see if I in fact do go over nearly all or all of them.

So. Echoey synth (?) intro, then the first melody part, with the individual words repeated, kind of "urgent" vocals part, very nice rhythm and something I just find very cool. As it progresses we get another part of just the synth / electric guitar-like synth / guitar or whatever this thing is, then a mix of both + this clicky instrument and / OR is it the harpsichord again? Giving it all more urgency and a nice constant rhythm. I also really like when the "byebyebye" vocal gets looped before the synth reenters. Overall, this part of the song has a very electronic, drony feel that I greatly enjoy and find very atmospheric and immersive already.

But, well, it doesn't end here. Because later, everything else stops and we hear a church organ. Even the melody it enters with is very much like something you'd hear in a cathedral, indeed! Good environmental storytelling, isn't it? But then... the organ transitions into this very very cool frantic melody (and by very very cool I mean that it's probably the #1 thing that stood out to me about this song right from the start) which returns consistently throughout the song and is just oh so very awesome.

So we enter the next part, what could probably be called the central part "as I sit down to play the organ...", tension is rising, the organ is doing its thing in the back, then some "hallelujah"s and BOOM! The chorus? The "I've got faith" part of course. And with it some epic strings, and I don't think I can really say what exactly it is about this part that makes it SO FREAKING GOOD & ABSOLUTELY SHOWSTOPPING but it's easily in my top 3 moments on the album at least. Then it's followed by the slightly considerably calmer "she's here..." section and we go mostly full circle for now, more variations on the same parts. Some grandiose "lalala"s & epic drum action too. And then, the "I believe" sections which I cannot let myself neglect, mostly just on the basis of them being kind of sickening to me. You know, in the "why did they do this (said respectfully)" way.

Ok, did I really just talk about all of the individual parts, I guess so. But before I move on I have to mention the moment when the very first major part, the "bye-bye-bye my baby" part, makes a sudden comeback. It's honestly just so good and satisfying, when completely different sections switch and make unexpected (or maybe you actually DO expect them on some subconscious level, and that's what makes them work so well??) returns like this, if a song has that it's very likely it will become a top top favourite or at least have a very big effect on me. Or even HUGE effect, like here.

So yeah, the song does eventually end (I mean technically unbelievable somewhat, since it's so long, but have I actually mentioned yet that this track goes by about just as fast as the first one, because it sure does, you do not notice the time passing WHATSOEVER) on some more "hallelujah"s. And the album's over. Wooo boy.

Bonus tracks

Well, it's not really over yet if it's not the vinyl but the streaming version. We still have just two more bonus tracks, technically just one? So I'll go over both quickly now for completion's sake.

First we have "We Are the Clash" which is a pleasant song for sure, can work as kind of a denouement after the crazy journey of the previous track, so you're left on a little less of a mood unresolution and can become a little less unsettled after all of this going down... Idk.

But yeah, I actually have this impression veering on pretty strong conviction that this song is a cover actually. It could even be a cover of the band whose name is mentioned in the song, which would put this version in a extremely funny area of how far stylistically it might be from the hypothetical original, if it exists (what's up with all these bands and their "we are the [band name]" songs, there's so many). Of course I could also be very wrong about this so all I just wrote could turn out to be absolutely hilariously off target, still, a fun little attempt at guessing things and connecting ideas on my part, whatever the truth turns out to be (I will learn the truth... in due time. My experience tells me that when I'm still fully in initial unwell mode over an album it's difficult for me to read and retain any outside information / commentary on it. So no need to rush it, heh) (note: yeah I was right for once. I meannnn I guess it was obvious anyway but still, let me have this, I've been fooled by assuming that a cover was someone's original song way too many times so I'm happy to not be fooled for once).

So ok, the last last track. Baby baby can i invade your country is baaaaaack, not much to say but it's pretty much the same other than the lyrics, since well, it is the "alternate lyrics" version, not "alternate" version. I do think that it might be slightly longer than the final version though but it's also likely I'm misremembering.

Anyway, lyrics, all I can or feel the need to say is that they seem to be definitely way more to the point on what this song's actual topic is (not... invading... countries . I don't need to explain it here do I) so subtlety win for the final one I guess. Just so it is known, I have not read these two songs' lyrics unlike all the main album tracks'. But I think I caught enough to get the main idea from both, you know. I do think also that the final version's lyrics just kind of sound better, idk if it's the rhythm of the words or what but they do just have a nicer flow. So, improvement, probably, still very nice to know this version anyway of course. (note: yeah i have learned since that most of the final lyrics are the US national anthem. Makes sense that if any song were to have alternate lyrics it would be this one)

To round it all up...

I think there's still a lot that can be said about this album as a whole but how do I go about that. Well, I did mention earlier that I'd come back to a) the overall feel / atmosphere here b) the themes / stories and how they connect. So those shall work as a guide to my conclusions part of this whole review.

First off, I could even say a bit about the main vibe / sound here in reference to Lil' Beethoven! Since it really does work as a sequel, at least in sound, by all means. I described LB with stuff like... cold, distant, cathedral-like, what else was there.... Ok, I have more, lifted directly from my LB write-up. (note: finally listening to LB a month prior to this was enough of a big deal for me that I wrote down my live reactions to hearing the songs) Impersonal / detached. Alien. Spacious.

Do those apply here too? I think so, yeah! Pretty much all of these words also feel like pretty good descriptors here. But honestly, the more I think about it.... Maybe it's just that the distance / the detachedness and alienated feeling is a bit lower here? Or at least in some songs more than the others. It's hard to explain honestly.... That similar atmosphere continues here but it's just..... not as pronounced maybe. Idk, maybe it will become clearer with this next point I wanna make which is that LB actually is less, uhhh friendly in sound. Less accessible! Yeah, I do think that this album could be seen as: LB started the experiment, HYL perfected it by taking it in a slightly more accessible direction. Or is perfected a wrong word here, who can say which was, or should be considered the better outcome here.... I think I actually have a problem putting concepts into the right words today. But maybe at least some of my feelings about this can still come across here...

So yeah, I don't think it's possible to tell if HYL is better or LB, it also depends on how you look at it! As it kind of always does when judging stuff per good / better. One thing that I can say sort of for sure though is that LB certainly started ideas / techniques that HYL expanded on and toyed with further, so in that sense, it could be considered an improvement. And so it is clear, I don't think I can say 100% that I like one more than the other. It's not that simple. I guess you could however say that HYL was more of an instant hitter and LB really just grows and grows more in power overtime....

So yeah, they kind of did take the LB concept and all of the avant-garde, experimentation factors that come with it, and made it more accessible, which is a form of art and an achievement and a testament of skill in itself. I think the somewhat friendlier, more palatable approach of this album also lifts off the coldness aspect a bit, but it's still there, especially on tracks 1, 3, 5, 10, off the top of my head.....

But maybe I should talk more about the album and its sound as it stands on its own before I move on though. Maybe we could jump from the words I already used: classic, orchestral, brooding, dramatic, dark, aggressive (yes, I somehow see it as friendlier than its predecessor despite also being much more aggresive in all senses. Raw even. How does that work? I can't tell you today. And idk if I'll ever figure it out. And also personal, YES, that's the word, this album feels soooo very personal and emotive. Not in the sense that I'm trying to say that it must be personal to them, more like it just shows some very personal feelings and struggles), triumphant (but that goes only for that one song really), driving, ELEGANT. I think the word elegant is the key here. In all of its subtler or less subtle tone shifts it keeps that very elegant, kind of graceful feel, all throughout. Even when it seems to be touching subjects that wouldn't necessarily bring that kind of atmosphere to mind, it kind of elevates them and gives them, idk, a new meaning?

So is this a good segue into the topic of themes? I guess the album name sits well with what I think is going on here, because my main impression of the whole thing was something like.... stories of fucked-up guys with self-image problems / feelings of inadequacy, which they try to go around fully convinced that they're right (and their messy love-lives too ofc). Or are they just, normal, regular guys actually. Who can tell. It certainly gives you an idea / a whole concept to work with and ponder here and to connect and visualize kinda.

I think that yeah, out of what I've heard so far this has to be the most thematically-consistent sparks album there is. It comes to a point where all the songs give this little impression of a whole universe where all of this takes place, and while I've had these kind of impressions from albums that are way more all-over-the-place conceptually with their lyrics (I mean like.... pretty much every They Might Be Giants album. You can create this sort of illusion with more than words, the music and its atmosphere and often also its stylistic consistency might be even more important actually), this comes, in my mind, almost close to concept album levels in that regard.

The definition of a concept album probably calls for something more specific than all the tracks being in sort of a similar theme but you know.... I don't think it really happens most of the time in music in general, that the whole album has this sort of a familiar idea / spirit throughout that makes a unique whole. (note: apparently wikipedia calls this album a concept album. Another win for me in that case, lol). You could probably try to connect different songs' themes and work with that in some way.... Which is something I already did in all honesty, but actually it's a between albums thing here, because I do believe that the dick around guy could be the same guy that the narrator from ugly guys with beautiful girls talks about. Similar ideas you can connect! That's what I'm talking about. I love it when songs tell overarching stories.... Make me think about characters from songs or little universes and vibes created by even the vaguest of lyrics and the ideas those create and the imaginings they bring, any day.

Ok, what else can I say. I think I mostly covered everything I could actually. Should I say something more about the cover with the added context now. I already said that it gives off a "something's wrong" feeling, but I think it's also compelling in how it conveys that elegant, non-threatening and polished image, sterile kinda. Well, I think only one of those four words I just chose doesn't really apply to most of this album's songs. I mean non-threatening ofc. Hmmm, maybe sterile doesn't really work here either, besides those prominent examples of the coldness of sound on this album, it would actually go more with LB, which also has a fittingly minimalist, all-white cover. Collected and orderly to a distressing degree. Just like here, it also gives off some.... distressing vibe. As I already said with the "this isn't right" feel.

What else can I say. In reviews you usually give your opinions, which I very much did throughout this thing here, everything like this is always somewhat subjective I think, but even then, a final verdict could also be said here. I think it's pretty damn clear by now what my opinion on this album is. I wouldn't spend several days writing a review and analysing every little detail if I didn't have a very strong (positive) opinion on this album (I guess I technically can imagine writing a very throughout review of something that just annoys you so much that you simply have to go through everything wrong with it and have some relief and closure through that. I can't see myself doing that kinda thing however, I'm not that kind of hater (or really a hater at all lol, i hope), I'd rather devote my time to things that I find actually cool and awesome and stand-outs in a positive sense, and worthy of attention and that dedication).

So this comment I fittingly found on tumblr over the last few days feels pretty relevant towards my opinion of writing "reviews" of stuff (this was more of a, very detailed analysis I know, but review just kind of fits, especially with how people call their recaps / commentary / writeups of concerts "reviews" a lot of the time):

(note: yeah I think I should come clean here that despite my very recent start of actual social media participation I've already been a serial lurker in various places for years now, lol, I mean, that's probably a normal thing to do though, I hope. I mean, probably lots of people do or did that at some point, but still. And I don't know whose post this is anymore sadly. But I thought I'd keep it here because it's a good summary)

And also, just for the record, this is my opinion on HYL pretty much. Yaaaayyy i loved it i had so much fun!! For real. i'm glad they're creating something!!!! Absolutely. One of a kind album that I will cherish as yet another great and unforgettable entry on the list of albums that changed me (TM) and brought me lots of fun and great memories / associations, even in such a short time. And the actual FIRST on the new list of albums that I'm happy to have brough the utmost attention to and dissected like that. It's out of love.

Thank you for reading this far! Here's a little bunny as a prize!

Whoa whoops this gif was supposed to be small! Have a huge bunny in that case, you deserve it! 🐇

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Yeah... I remember seeing the architectural design majors at my uni having this breakdown each semester...

[starbuck]

My new favorite activity is scrolling through the black sails tag and commenting my interpretations on random people’s posts and they’re like “wtf are you talking about?” and i’m like 👍🏻

[imwritesometimes]

when you know a little bit abt the history of something you wanna include in your fic and then you do some research and it turns out the more in depth historical facts actually help bolster what you envisioned for the fic

[gothamcityneedsme]

i can't believe i never posted any of my snk fic. like. i have MULTIPLE NOTEBOOKS of handwritten stuff, and a LOT on my phone but like. i was into snk when i didn't have access to a computer. so almost none of this is typed and so thus also none of it was ever posted.

[denimshortsdean]

The thing about me is that I am constantly terrorising the groupchat with destiel ideas that come to me out of nowhere. I say sorry but we all know it will happen again in like. 6 hours

[danielnelsen]

anon who asked about chasind headcanons, i am not ignoring you, that is actually step 3 of my current project:

gather all chasind lore in existence

organise it into something coherent

fill in the gaps

unfortunately i have been on step 1 for about 2 weeks and it is currently a 130 page document and will still take a while to finish

but i am getting there!!! and i have formed many headcanons in the process about all kinds of things

[nexus-nebulae]

whenever i see hollow knight theorists talk about the grubs i almost never see anyone mention certain things that i always think about so i'm just gonna infodump and see if these theories make any sense? I'm going to be such a nerd about taxonomy and real-life bugs. also note that i haven't genuinely studied this shit in school, i am running purely on wikipedia and Autism™

First things first: they're grubs. They're larvae. They're not finished growing, and as we see from the charm they give, they metamorphose into some form of flying being. It's not clear what, but if the Elegy charm in any way resembles what a Grubberfly actually looks like, then they would seem to have multiple wings and a thick, tapered body (with no apparent legs). We also know that the process of being eaten by the Grubfather involves some form of metamorphosis- either of the Grubs, or even the Grubfather itself. You can even hear them making noise within Grubfather, meaning they're not dead (yet. we don't know if they Will Be Eventually).

most of the time "grub" refers to beetle larvae, but... moth larvae can look pretty similar. grubs and caterpillars are often mistaken for one another. the main thing that gets me is the legs- the legs of the caterpillar are typically a lot thicker and better for movement. whereas most grubs have thinner, typically segmented legs and often can barely even move around with them. We see the grubs in hallownest with relatively thick legs- most other bugs in hallownest just get black lines for legs- and they're able to move incredibly freely.

Now- there's a lot of types of bugs in hallownest, which means a large variety of larval stages. We've got moths, obviously, which are caterpillars. We've got mantises, which have no larval stage and instead hatch directly into nymphs (So, the Mantis Youth enemy is likely a nymph). Baldurs are like woodlice, or isopods, meaning intstead of larvae they have manca, which essentially look just like tiny versions of the adult (e.g., the regular Baldur compared to the Elder Baldur). Bee larvae are simple white grubs, which are typically sealed inside of the surrounding honeycomb until they metamorphose. Spiders hatch as spiderlings, which we see plenty of in-game (and, before the Lifeblood update, Deeplings would even actually pop out of eggs when broken).

We have flukes, which seem to moreso resemble maggots, or fly larvae. The tiny flukes we see at the entrance to Flukemarm are clearly the youngest of the larvae (despite the Flukefey being labeled as such in the Hunter's Journal- the larvae in the walls aren't considered an enemy type in the Journal, however, so were likely not considered). Despite the fact that the Flukes more often resemble worms, we know they are not, as some varieties have legs or wings. Annelids (true worms, like earthworms, leeches, etc) never have legs, much less wings. Meaning the flukes are most likely arthropods, and thus most likely are something close to flies.

And then we have creatures that are in completely different phylums to arthropods, such as the jellyfish (cniderians), snails and slugs (molluscs), and mushrooms (fungi. not even in the animalia kingdom).

But by far the most common type of bug in Hallownest are beetles. Beetles are some of the most diverse insects on the planet even in real life, and in Hallownest it's no exception. We see plenty of beetles based on real life- Dung Defender being a dung beetle, the Nailsmith being a rhinoceros beetle, Willoh being a giraffe weevil. Most other insects in hallownest mostly resemble beetles than other insects, with hard, plated shells and often visible elytra (the hard shell casing that covers the wings). Because beetles are so abundant, and because most other insect species in the game tend to keep within their own separated groups, "grub" most likely became the colloquial form of "baby" within Hallownest. Therefore, these Grubs might not even be grubs at all, but another form of insect larvae that was labeled as grub due to its similarity to beetle young.

We never see any direct inclusions of the young of the Moth Tribe nor the various beetles found around hallownest. There is only a single known caterpillar seen in-game, and that is Marmu. It is not known if she is connected to the Moth Tribe or not, however Marmu's design was based on a Puss Moth caterpillar, of which the real-world equivalent grow up to be similarly fluffy moths to the ones seen in the Moth Tribe. The visual similarity between Marmu and the Grubs is striking- and they even sound remarkably similar, meaning they could be of related species.

Now, back to actual Hollow Knight Lore™:

We know that the Collector is definitely related to the Kingsmoulds, as they are both made of void and have the same body template. All Moulds were made as servants to the king, and do not seem to have their own motivations or interests. The Collector, however, definitely has a personality, ranting and raving about how much it loves the Grubs.

The corpse holding the Love Key in Queen's Gardens is a Husk Dandy, or one of the high elite of Hallownest. It was clearly a high-ranking member of society, and may have had some connections with Lurien, or even the Pale King himself. The Tower of Love was most likely this Dandy's tower, and it was likely the one who began the collection of grubs, with the Collector as some form of assistant (thank you mossbag for this one).

Now, the Dandy's Dream Nail dialogue says "Too long spent together... we become as one...". This, paired with the black streaks around the Dandy's eyes as well as the Void particles seen around the corpse, leads most people to assume that the Collector being made of Void somehow started to physically affect the Dandy, leading to its death. But what if it weren't simply one-way? What if, somehow, the Collector started to mirror the Dandy- if the Dandy was enthusiastic enough about its work, then the Collector may have become obsessed as well due to this.

We also know that the Pale King was attempting to snuff out almost everything he could about the Radiance. The Moth Tribe were apparently born from the Radiance, either metaphorically or literally. While the Moth Tribe did reject the Radiance and follow the Pale King, some moths still chose to remember their old god, until, according to the seer, "all of Hallownest began to dream of that forgotten light". Somehow, this hushed worship of the Radiance could have led to the infection taking hold in the world.

From what I could find, it was not entirely clear if any of the Void experiments began before or after the beginning of the Infection. The Collector could have been created any time in between the creation of Hallownest to its fall- it could be an early, perhaps unfinished form of a Kingsmould- it could be a typical Kingsmould that was altered in some way- it could be a late, more adavnced form of Kingsmould with traits unlike the other more typical Kingsmoulds (for example, it has a voice, where seemingly no other Void being does whatsoever).

Another thing to note- it's not made clear what kind of power exactly the Elegy charm draws from. Because of the Grubsong charm's connection to Soul, one might assume it is also Soul energy, however the slash doesn't draw from the Knight's Soul meter and any charms that directly affect spells or Soul use (other than Grubsong) don't have any sort of affect on the Elegy charm when equipped together.

So, my theory:

The Grubs are actually caterpillars, created by the Radiance in her return to Hallownest. The Pale King, or someone underneath him, noticed the appearance of these bugs and decided to study them- that, or they already knew of the bugs' connection to the moths and thus decided to trap them. The Dandy was the one in charge of this, the head researcher who collected and researched them. The Collector was a Kingsmould gifted to the Dandy by Lurien (or even the Pale King himself) to help with research- and perhaps, if they knew about the Radiance connection, also as a form of extra security (The vessels were Void beings created to contain the Radiance. The Collector is a Void being who obsessively contains Grubs. There's a reflection there). The Collector may have even specifically been granted a voice in order to be able to communicate with the Dandy.

Over time, the Dandy and the Collector being around each other so much caused them to start to become one. Not just in the Dandy becoming somehow infected with Void, but also in the Collector's obsession with the Grubs. This ultimately led to the Dandy locking the Collector in the Tower of Love and attempting to run away with the key before succumbing to the Void in the Queen's Gardens.

Being an experiment specifically created by the Pale King and his court, the Collector likely had some form of "programming" by the court to complete its intended tasks. Unlike the Kingsmoulds' simple programming to Defend the Pale King, instead the Collector's would have been to collect or trap bugs. It could have even been the case that the Collector was the Dandy's field agent- going to collect the Grubs itself so as to not put the Dandy in danger. We can even see this in its attacks- it doesn't necessarily slash at you, but instead makes a grabbing motion. Perhaps the Collector was programmed to Contain and Protect, with protect applying both to the Dandy and the collected specimens (a dead grub is no use for research, now is it?). However, now there seems to be some sort of bug in the programming (pun not intended) where the Collector doesn't seem to distinguish between what it should or shouldn't collect- we see bottles of Vengeflies and Aspids and Baldurs, and even the player's Shade, but these are only ever found within the Tower of Love where the Collector is locked away. It's likely it was the Dandy's orders that told the Collector exactly what to collect, and without those it simply overdoes its programmed task.

Unfortunately, the Knight eventually comes along and destroys the entire operation before we can find out the real truths regarding the Grubs. Hopefully the Grubberflies aren't actually tiny Radiances.

[elegyofthemoon]

i wonder if anyone's discussed the buddha statues and their representations of the days of the week and their general meaning yet or am i going to have to do that

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also let's hear it for our [cam stone exists] entry being the only one (so far) of the 2 trans 2 furious zine to have an editor's note, hell yeah

[sang8262]

i already know 150% that i'll get burnt out within a week,

BUT... i always wanted to do those ask blogs that draw the answers / prompts, even though i have negative confidence in both my ability to make good hc scenarios, and to actually draw them in a timely manner

[lyreinthewind]

listening to hadestown haunted by the knowledge that my senior year theatre teacher is friends with patrick page and informed him that i continuously analyze hadestown for fun and apparently he said that is cool this concludes today’s lyreinthewind fun fact

[devondespresso]

More Steve Henderson AU!! I love love love your idea behind how Dustin and Steve end up so close--it's so fitting for what glimpses of Dustin and Claudia we get in the show

sngdjysynsnysngzngsmh thank youuuuuu i really really appreciate it!! your encouragement means the absolute world to me 🕺✨

anyway we finally started writing scenes today!! with dialogue and everything!! woohoo! this snippet is part of a missing scene after the tunnels in season 2

“Yeah, so lets get his car back before he wakes up and he won't notice it was ever gone” Mike interrupted, slinging the passenger door open. Max glared at him. “He’s going to notice. He notices everything with his car.” “And there's mud all over the sides” “And there's definitely going to be mud inside after we ride back” “And its pretty safe to say at least some of Steve's blood got on the backseat” Oh God they're screwed.