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#they just are taking a break from my writing space for a little bit
jasperxkuromi · 1 day
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Dealing with guilt and shame around age regression
I've been dealing with some guilt towards my regression the past couple days. I have been feeling self conscious and embarrassed about my regression and it's been making it harder to relax and let myself get into little space. I took some time this afternoon to brain storm a few things I can do and I wanted to share!!
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🐸 Write it out! I have a "worry" journal. I set a 15 minute timer for myself and just let myself write whatever has been bothering me. After the 15 minutes is over I close the journal and throw it across my room.
🐌 You could also write a letter to someone talking about your feelings. This doesn't mean you have to give them that letter!! Sometimes it is soothing to write to someone who hurt you and then rip it up into tiny little pieces afterwards. Another option is to write a letter to your CG about how much you appreciate them and their support :)
🐸 Positive affirmations! I keep a sticky note on my chore chart of a few affirmations I can say to myself when I am worked up.
🐌 Meditation/Mindfulness. You can do ones that are made for kids if it helps! There are also kids toys that are geared at helping little ones slow down and take some deep breaths. My Furby has a relax mode where he guides me to do some breathing. It is both silly and relaxing enough to distract my brain for a little bit.
🐸 Ask your CG to write you a letter you can read when you are dealing with tough emotions. If you have a fictional CG you can write yourself a note pretending to be them! There are also people out there who will write you letters from your CG. Even if you don't have a CG, you can write a letter to yourself. When you are feeling big, write a letter of all the kind things you wish you could say to little you.
🐌 Age regression can be part of a healthy coping toolbox. You are not doing anything wrong by regressing. It is okay to regress. It is okay to take time for you. It is okay to do something that is just for your own happiness.
🐸 You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to be messy and noisy and playful. You deserve love and care. You deserve to have your needs met. I'm sorry others in your life let you down and made you feel this way. But it will be okay, and we can heal together, I promi.
🐌 Remember; it is okay to take a break from voluntary regression for any reason. Your stuffies and dollies will understand and they will be there for you when you return. ♥️
Feel free to add your own!
If you are continually dealing with feelings of guilt and shame, don't be afraid to reach out to someone. It can hard to unlearn these sorts of things on your own. You aren't weak for needing extra support.
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homestylehughes · 4 hours
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4 times quinn wanted to kiss you, and the 1 time he did.
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pairing(s): Quinn Hughes x fem!reader
summary: 4 times quinn wanted to kiss you, and the time he did.
warning(s): absolutely nothing, pure fluff.
wc: 2.1k
an: hi loves!!! before i say anything, i think this might be my favorite fic, i've ever written, i love it so so much. it was so nice to sit down and write another fic, I had the best time writing this. i know the poll i put out wanted the nico x Hughes sister smut but this idea has a hold on me and i had to write it today, but i'm working on that fic currently as well! i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i do, like and reblog If you do! much love always <3
happy reading <3
1.
It had always been yn and quinn, quinn and yn, attached to the hip at 5 years old and neither of you wanted to let go. If you would have told Quinn that the little girl the jack pushed into the sandbox at 5 would be his best friend for the rest of his life, he'd think you're crazy. But here you guys are today starting the first day of college, together.
This wasn't exactly the plan for you guys, it just so happened you got into michigan, the same place quinn was signing to play hockey. 
Today was the first game of the season for Quinn, even though Quinn had played hockey for most of his life, he couldn't help but be scared to step on the ice for his first college game. The nerves are getting the best of him as they line up, ready to headout on the ice for warm ups. 
The first push on the ice takes away Quinn's voice as he looks around the arena at all of the fans in the crowd, his eyes glimmering with excitement as he takes it all in. his heart stops for a moment when he sees you standing in the stands with his family, dressed in his jersey, holding up a sign that says “number 43 is my favorite!”. Holding it high above you head, a wide smile breaking at across your face as look down at him skating on the ice. 
A smile spreads upon Quinn's face, as he looks at you and his family. At that moment he really wanted to kiss you. 
2. 
Quinns hands were shaking as he tried to tie his tie, his mind was everywhere else but where it needed to be. It was the day of the NHL draft, a night that would change the rest of his life and his families. He couldn't help but feel almost sick at the thought of moving to a new state or country, leaving everything and everyone he loved behind, including you. 
After five attempts of trying to tie his tie, he dramatically sighs, dropping his hands away from his chest. Staring at himself in the mirror trying to peace himself together, coaching himself to take deep breaths. Just as he starts to tie his tie again, he hears a soft knock on the hotel door. 
His mom had already ushered everyone out of the room around 30 minutes ago, telling everyone to give him some space. Quinn couldn't help but be annoyed at the fact that someone already was knocking on the other side of the door. Making his way to the door, his brain already settled on whoever was on the other side of the door a bit of hell for disturbing him. 
Opening the door slowly he sees you standing in the hallway, with a small smile on your way as you look at him. All of the anger he had harbored in him, immediately  disappears when he sees you. 
“Hi, i'm sorry to interrupt but i thought i'd just come check on you” she says 
“You weren't interrupting anything, thank you for coming and checking on me.'' Quinn says, pausing for a second clearing his throat. 
“I actually could use a bit of help, i can't tie my tie.” he says a little embarrassed 
“I can help, if you let me in your room, or we can stand here in the hallway whatever works best for you” yn giggles out. 
“Oh shit, i'm sorry come in '' he quickly says, his face heating with embarrassment. Yn quickly walks into the room, quinn shutting the door behind her. 
“Sit on the bed” she quietly says to him, quinn doesn't need to be told twice when it comes to her, taking a seat on the soft bed, leaving his legs slightly open, allowing you to stand in between them as she works on his tie. 
Their faces and bodies are so close together, his eyes catching hers for a moment. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to pull her on top of him and forget about the draft, forget about his future. Because at that moment, he really really wanted to kiss you. 
3. 
Quinn woke up to a constant banging on his front door, rolling on his side to see that the clock on his bed side table read, 3 a.m. “who the fuck is knocking on my door at 3 a.m?” Quinn thought to himself. Quinn trudging pulls himself out of bed, walking slowly downstairs hearing another round of knocking once he reaches the bottom of the stairs. 
Finally reaching his front door, he doesn't even bother looking through the peephole before opening the door. Opening the door he's met with a rain soaked yn on his front porch with flowers in her hand and a suitcase at her side. Quinn thinks he's dreaming as he looks at her, still half asleep. 
“You know i think i forgot how much it rains in vancouver during the summer, as you can see im soaked” yn chuckles out. “Also how dare you not tell me you were being named captain, I'm very upset that I had to find out through an instagram post. But I'll get over that because I missed you, so I flew all of the way here to surprise you.” 
“OH! These flowers are for you” she says, holding out the slightly weeping flowers in front of her.
“I promise they looked better, the rain…ruined them” she says smiling sadly at him.
“I'm so sorry i woke you up with the banging, my phone died and i don't have a key-” 
Quinn quickly cuts her rambling off by pulling her into the tightest hug known to man, spinning her around, as if he never wants to let her go. 
“I'm so happy you're here” quinn says, as he sets her down, his arms wrapped around her. 
“I'm so happy I'm here too.” yn says, looking up at quinn, he can see something in her eyes, love maybe? He’s not sure, but what he is sure of is that he really wants to kiss her, and it's killing me everyday that he hasn't. 
4.
They lost. They lost. They lost in game seven, their playoff run was over. All of their blood, sweat and tears couldn't help them win this game. Quinn couldn't help but let the weight of loss fall on his shoulders as they skate off the ice. The walk to the locker room felt like an eternity. The room is quiet as the players strip out of their gear. He couldn't help but let a few tears fall as he got undressed. Feeling like he let his team, his family, the fans down. 
Quinns mind couldn't focus during the press conference, giving the reporters one to two sentence answers. He didn't want to be there, he wanted to think about anything else other than hockey. He wanted to cry alone, he wanted the voices in his head to stop, he didn't want to be here. 
After the press wraps up, Quinn quickly grabs his things heading out the locker room, as he turns the corner he sees you sitting against the wall, quickly turning your head when you hear footsteps down the hall, making eye contact. 
Quinn had completely forgotten where even at the game, the loss of the game, completely taking over his mind. 
“Yn, what are you still doing here?” he asks as he reaches her, offering her a hand to get off the ground. 
Wordlessly she takes his hand, pulling his bag out of his other hand placing it on the ground below them. Before wrapping her hands around his neck pulling him down into a hug, Quinn's arms instantly wrapping around her waist, his body melting into hers. His face resting in her neck as he feels tears fall out of his eyes, as he clings to her body. 
They stand like this for a few minutes, quinn’s tears finally settling before yn pulls back, running her fingers under quinns eyes wiping away his tears.
“I'm so proud of you, win or lose. I'm so so so proud of you Quinn, please never forget that '' she says, holding his face in between her hands. 
“I love you” quinn mumbles out as he begins to cry again. 
“I love you more” she says, “now let's get you out of here, i think you need one of gina's world famous burgers hm?” she says, grabbing his bag from the floor. Holding her hand out for him to grab, Quinn doesnt waste a second before sliding his hand into her as they head towards the exit. 
Quinns head is no longer filled with thoughts about the game, about hockey. It's filled with thoughts about you, about how much he loves you, and how badly he wants to kiss you. 
+1.
Quinn can't count on his hands how many times he's been to the lake house during the summer, but each time he does it better than the year before. Making new memories with the people who he loves, making new memories with you. 
Quinn insisted that you come to the lake house with him a week before everyone else did, he wanted to spend as much time with you before everyone else got here, and you couldn't say no to that. 
So this brings you to where you guys are now, sitting on the boat in the middle of the lake, watching as the sun sets across the sky. The sky casting hues of pinks and purples across the lake. Quinn couldn't help but look at you as you stare at the scene around you, seeing you look so relaxed and at peace, he couldn't help but smile. 
“I can feel you staring at me” yn giggles out, still looking at the lake in front of her. 
“I was just taking in the scenery” he says 
“Mhm, and that just happens to be my face?” she says, turning to look at him with a smile that matches his on her face. 
“Maybeee” quinn playfully says.
“Well it's creepy so stop it” she says playfully rolling her eyes at him
“And what if I don't?” he asks
“I'll feed you to the sharks” 
“Pretty girl there isn't any sharks out here” quinn says laughing at her
“Stop laughing at me” she says, sending a quick shove to quinns shoulder, causing him to fall back against boat. 
“Oh that's it” quinn days before launching himself at her, pinning her down before his hands start to attack her sides. 
“ QUINN PLEASE NO” she pleads out to him as he tickles her. Laughs fell from both of their lips as they attacked each other. 
“I CAN'T BREATH” yn laughs out as Quinn tickles the skin behind her neck, knowing its sweet spot. Deciding to give in to her pleas, he stops his attack on her neck. Her chest rising steadily as he looks down at her, her lips slightly parted, the plump skin almost looks like its calling is name. 
Before he knows what he’s doing, he slowly lowers his face closer to hers, softly connecting their lips together in a sweet kiss. Yn kisses him back almost instantly, her hands wrapping around his neck pulling him closer to her. The once soft kiss turned hot and desperate quickly, a tension they've been dancing around for years, as finally broken like a dam, and neither of them wanted to stop. 
Neither of them wants to pull away, but the need for air begs them too, Quinn pulling away first causing you to whine at the loss of contact. Looking at her with swollen lips and love filled eyes. 
“I've wanted to do that for awhile” quinn says 
“How long?” she asks as he works hard with the hair on the bottom of his neck.
“Ever since i saw you for the first time” 
“Quinn we were five” she laughs
“I knew what I wanted at five,” he laughs, pushing a piece of hair out of her face. “And i've known that i've always wanted you” he finishes
“I love you” yn says
“I love you more” he replies
“I don't think you do” yn quips back 
“Let me show you how much i do” quinn says before connecting their lips back together, because at that moment quinn wanted to kiss you, and this time he did.
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malachitefields · 1 day
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(original ask by @highestside got lost so ive artfully recreated it, not that you would be able to tell by my phenomenal editing skills)
this is very much my “1 like and ill write an essay” topic so thank you for the excuse to yap!
this is all in the context of this batsplat post, which i cant really build on if im honest so will be referencing/drawing parallels as i go through rather than stealing from thanku pls go read that first
im writing with the knowledge that most ppl who follow me are motogp so wont necessarily know figure skating, so ill do a little introduction to yuzuru (probably yuzu from here on out) so u guys can all join in because i think youll love him. hes truly marc-levels bonkers insane mastermind babygirl.
if you know it already or just only care about the mind games/mental aspect of it feel free to skip past!!
so heres our guy! yuzuru hanyu (born december 1994, saggitarius, name means “a bowstring pulled tight”)
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now retired from competitive figure skating in 2022 because he would “no longer seek those kinds of evaluations” (i.e he was sick of being underscored and everyone else overscored and it wasnt fun anymore so he was going to skate at a competitive level elsewhere like a maniac), yuzu is a 2-time olympic, 2-time world, 4-time consecutive grand prix final, 1-time four continents, and 6-time national champion. he is the only man to achieve what is known as a “super slam”, a grand slam in both the juniors and the senior divisions (athough he wouldve achieved it a lot faster if he hadnt been cursed to only ever achieve 2nd at 4cc, but thats another story). hes the second youngest man to win the singles olympic title (after dick button) and the first man to successfully defend his olympic title in 66 years (also after dick button, ironically).
he broke 19 world records, the most of any skater in singles since the introduction of the GOE scoring system in 2003 (dont ask what we used before that you dont want to know). he was the first to break the 100 point barrier for the short program, 200 points for the free program, and 300 overall, and he did at one point break all three of those records (which were all his) in one weekend, 2 weeks after hed set them. if you want to see what the crowd reaction to that one was like, take a look. the impact of those two weeks literally cannot be overstated, yuzu blew not just the field, but the entire sport so far out of the water that they replaced the scoring system because there was no way anyone could get close (its also probably the catalyst for the severe deterioration in scoring, but thats a whole different discussion)
now ive given a smidge of a background on yuzu (which is tldr he is largely considered the greatest mens singles skater of all time), ill give a bit of comparison between the two sports.
like motogp, fs is hugely a mind game for all of the athletes. while it doesnt exactly involve death, there is certainly a lot of the good ole body horror aspect (i have seen skaters dislocate their shoulders and then just pop them back in to complete their program), and there is comparatively less time to make sure you get things right while youre in competition. that seems ideal on paper, but unfortunately singles figure skating is not exactly known for its lack of errors! (yuzu notoriously won his first olympic title having fallen over twice in the fs) its pretty frequent to see a skater panic over a mistake early in the programme and then just snowball into a big mess thats cost them points.
unlike in motogp, there is nothing to assist in going faster or doing more other than your own body. and when all of your competition time is crammed into 2-4 minute slots, it becomes necessary to keep doing more in that short space of time in order to beat out your opponent. as a result we have ended up at what is referred to as the quad revolution, where the ever ramping up need for more technical complexity demanded more difficult jumps. in this case, jumps with 4 complete revolutions in air, rather than the 3 revolution jumps that were common for a long period of time. adding more revolutions to a jump requires a bigger jump, faster turning, and a larger g force on landing. currently this is thought to be about 13-14g, which doesnt sound like a lot in motorsport terms where going around a corner in an f1 car puts 6g on your neck, but a) the human body is much better as surviving high g forces that are horizontal as opposed to vertical/along the spine and b) they are landing on one foot (always the same foot!) in a inflexible ankle boot, on a piece of metal, on a sheet of ice, on a concrete floor. theres not exactly a lot to cushion the impact other than the grace of your own ankle and knee, and if you fuck that up youre going splat on the ice full body. so the repeated strain is there! and to add onto that, the error truly costs you as there is no cumulative points system across competitions. meaning the maximum 5 (6 if youre in an olympic year) major international competitions really count every time. you could win every major competition of the year up until worlds, but if you croak just enough there that someone outscores you, sorry but youre not world champion this year! so while theres not usually any death in figure skating, its high risk-high reward nonetheless.
never being on the ice competing at the same time as someone else also brings a weird dynamic to the table here. where you are in the running on the day can play a lot on the mental state of the skaters, so if theyre in a close competition with a rival and the rival has just skated a personal best, the pressure is on (more on this in a bit lol). this means theres not really any pressure you can put on a rival mentally during a programme the same way you can with a race. that pressure has to already be there before they step on the ice, or they have to create it themselves.
yuzu specifically largely reserves (or seems to at least from an outside perspective) his mind games for the press rather than his competitors. quite often his competitors do end up as collateral damage though, as they dont exactly know much that the press doesnt already. i think this is a important thing to keep in mind when thinking about quote unquote “mindgames”, as its easy to look at everything an athelete does in a high stress environment as being intentional. marc for example, and his classic towing so he can observe competitors. he benefits in that it may unsettle or stress out the competition, but it may just be for observation purposes in most cases if thats all he really wants to know/gain from it. batsplat mentioned poor rookie fabio getting the observation treatment, which sure could be intimidation tactics! it could also just be curiosity and strategy planning to account for a good rookie on a decent bike, though. once people have voiced an opinion on your actions that others have noticed it can catch on as the assumed intent, even if it wasnt the case at all. but if youre marc marquez and everyone assumes that you play mind games while towing in practice and is unsettled by it, you probably wont bother saying anything about it because it ended up benefitting you in the end.
figure skating and motogp (moto racing in general) are extremely different examples of spectator sports:
a sport that many people find entertaining to watch.
you’ve heard it all before so i almost dont have to say it, but valentino rossi is show, marc marquez is show. they’re such engaging and interesting figures to the spectators not just because theyre technically phenomenal, but also because they are aware of how to engage the spectator. yuzu is absolutely no different, just winning is no fun if its not fun to watch. if we think back to how common errors are in fs, you can imagine the drama of a situation like this (which is how he has described his ideal win):
“I'd like to be in the position where, no matter what happens - even if they skate their free skate clean - if I skate clean, I will win." from here
what yuzu has been after his whole career is undeniable dominance. and i compare it to this quote from marc which rings exactly the same:
“I’m a winner and my mentality will never change. These guys are not better than me” from there can be only one s2 ep3
on face value yuzus quote seems very different than marcs, much more passive in the way it conveys the same intent: that they are better than the rest. but heres where the mind games really come in. theres been a long running argument in figure skating as a result of the quad revolution between whether focusing on athleticism and technical skills was the future of the sport, over “artistry”. basically all of the mens singles skaters at the elite level now all focus on the former as its what gives them more points, with yuzuru being basically the last frontier of elite level “artistry” skaters. there was a lot of back and forth in the media about it, with most of the mens skaters arguing that athleticism was more important, and that the new generation was bringing that aspect to the sport (implying that yuzuru wasnt).
anyway, king of the very subtle but destructive media dig that he is, yuzu dropped this notorious quote:
“That so-called balance between [technical] difficulty and artistry, to me that doesn't actually exist. Artistry is founded upon absolute technical prowess, that's what I think.” from here
damning as that quote is on its own, the context was key in its own right. this was delivered at the official olympic press conference immediately after yuzuru had won his second olympic title, specifically (it seems) as a response to discussions about nathan chen in the media.
nathan had been a favourite to win the 2018 olympics in part due to his differing focus on jumps over,,,,,, well basically everything else in his programs, but also because yuzu was injured shortly before the olympics and hadnt been seen in 4 months. in the end he only came 5th, after landing himself in 17th after the short program after panicking.
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remember what i said about a rival skating a personal best just before you had to skate? lets quickly have a look at what other skaters say its like to skate immediately after yuzu on a regular competition, or even look at him:
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i swear on my life i have a distinct memory of another skater saying that not only does no one look at yuzu before skating, but that COACHES TELL THEM NOT TO FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. i couldnt find that source, so maybe i made that one up.
this isnt exlusive to skaters that dont know him either, roman sadovsky and nam nguyen were both training mates at toronto cricket club for years with him (and very friendly) and still said this:
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its noticable to fans and press as well, this contrasting idea of someone who is completely normal backstage, but particularly a menace on the ice
“I have been watching Hanyu for a long time and have had the chance to chat with him on many occasions. There is a contrasting sweetness and innocence backstage in conversation to the “killer” who comes out to skate. I have often said, you can see it in Hanyu’s eyes when he takes his opening postion. It’s as if it’s a choice he makes in declaring “this one’s mine””
this distinct aura, if you want to call it that, is something we also see with marc, where he also unnerves opponents, in part because of this monstrous technical ability meaning you know youre at risk, but also because its just straight up scary. batsplats post did a really good job of dissecting how we know marc is probably intending that, but yuzus a little harder to pin down. hes much more subtle than marc in a lot of ways with potential affects on competitors, and theres less need to target specific people than with motogp because youll never come “head to head” with someone in figure skating and therefore need to know their specific strengths and weaknesses (although he definitely does, hes said that before, it just doesnt impact his skating unless they have something he wants to emulate, which became less and less common over time.).
but its still definitely intentional in my eyes, as david wilson, who choreographed for both him and yuna kim (largely considered the goat of the womens singles division) also speculates:
“When I worked with Yuzu, he told me that Yuna was his idol. He idolised her. And I don’t think it was just for her skating, I think it was the way she did it, the way she commanded those four years. You know? He wanted to be that kind of a force.” from here
and here we are back around to the concept of undeniable dominance!
its at this point that i want to discuss probably the most similar aspects of marc and yuzus mind games: being lying liars who lie when it comes to injury when it benefits them
its body horror time!
yuzu has a fantastic track record of not disclosing injuries anywhere outside of his immediate circle and competing anyway in ways that shouldnt really have been possible.
for one, this dudes asthmatic, like he literally used to turn blue in the face sometimes at the end of a program when he was a teenager. one time he just laid face down on the ice at the end. i have no idea why he picked this profession, hes literally said it hurts him. just another point to add to the “bonkers crazy insane” chart i have of him and marc in my mind.
he got silver during the 2016 world championships on a hidden lisfranc injury in his left foot, which is a type of mid-foot injury common in *checks notes* car accidents and contact sports. they werent sure at the time if he was ever going to be able to skate again because even walking was bad, but he still skated at the gala afterwards, which led to probably the most beautiful but also sopping wet sad performance ive ever seen, followed by him dropping the news he was really fucking injured and might never be able to skate again and then going completely radio silent for months over the summer break (end of season). id say that was a one off but he skated at the olympic 2022 gala knowing he was about to retire from competition and hadnt told anyone yet so clearly it wasnt (nico rosberg eat your heart out!) he just likes drama.
but hiding injuries isnt uncommon, and is definitely not that much of a media mind game if you really think about it! what is though, and is very reminiscent of marc and that goddamn arm, is the injury on the run up to the 2018 pyeongchang olympics (remember me mentioning that?)
if we rewind a bit to autumn 2017, yuzu has just won his second world title after delivering what is largely considered to be the greatest figure skate of all time (and a historical record). yuzuru is running a fever during practice at nhk trophy right at the start of the season, and ends up severely injuring his right ankle (his landing foot) doing the highest scoring jump anyone had actually landed at the time. the injury happened live so he couldnt really pretend he wasnt injured, and he goes into complete media blackout for the next 3 months, missing the entire season before announcing he’s competing at the olympics to defend his title. i would like to emphasise here: nobody had fucking seen him in 3 months, especially not on the ice. in the meantime, nathan chen had had a pretty good time scooping up wins and had made himself the projected favourite for the olympic title due to no one knowing fuck all about yuzurus condition.
the first time yuzu was seen on ice was the first of several practice sessions for the mens singles (nathan had already competed in the team competition but yuzu hadnt skated). these are a media frenzy due to yuzu at the best of times, not to mention him being at this point only about 4 months out from a ligament injury on the foot he was meant to be landing 13-14g on repeatedly.
“The real highlight of the skating day on Monday came not during the team event upstairs in the Gangneung Ice Arena, but downstairs in the evening at the practice rink long after the crowds had gone home. That's when defending Olympic and world champion Yuzuru Hanyu made his first appearance on Olympic ice.
Hanyu went through a light workout for 15 minutes that primarily involved strokes and just a couple of jumps, before departing. He attempted no quads during his time on the ice. He did not appear to be in any distress or favoring any part of his body.” from here
the media, who are absolutely ravenous for any information about his condition at this point, get basically nothing out of this practice session that might give away his chances at defending the title. the other skaters definitely didnt either, but that was fine! there was another practice session in a couple of days that might give the game up as to whether he is beatable!
except he uhhhhhh didnt give them anything there either
“After a fairly intensive practice in the main rink on Tuesday morning, Hanyu took a more cautious approach this time, focusing mostly on strokes and steps.
He attempted just a handful of jumps, including a quad salchow, quad toe loop and a triple axel.
When Hanyu's short program music to Chopin's Ballade No. 1 played, he went through a run-through of it without any jumps. The question now is if that was just a precautionary measure to avoid injury or if there was some other physical reason.
Hanyu departed following the training session without making any comments to the media other than “thank you” as he walked through the mixed zone.” from here
he basically just fucked about for a while, did exactly three (3) major jumps so the media got excited, and then left. which was hilarious to watch the media fallout of if hugely nerve wracking at the time.
so for the men who have a chance at the title and therefore want to know what state hes in, all they now know is that hes capable of some of the major jumps at the very least. so hes not completely out of the running, but the lack of intensity is making it look more like his chances are slim. one of the few things people do know is that hes on painkillers.
the lots for the short program running order is drawn and yuzuru is skating immediately before nathan chen, so nathan will know what state yuzuru is in before he even starts competing. while yuzu is poker facing it completely, nathans been hugely dominant this season while yuzus been off, and yuzu looks like hes playing it safe.
hes not.
so much of this is body language, crowd reaction and attitude, so id absolutely watch the performance at this point if you can, with the knowledge that his assumed closest competitor was going immediately afterwards and the media had been effectively calling his downfall for the entire season.
in summary, its a monster of a performance. at 111.68 points its just shy of 112.72, the world record hed set in september just before injury (among people who score recreationally as a hobby, its pretty consistent that people think this should have been just above, and therefore a new record) he literally flicks both wrists and drops the smile off his face after hes finished, and then comes off the ice saying “im back”, where nathan steps onto the ice while they spend the next SIX MINUTES clearing the rink. i mentioned earlier that in figure skating theres no way of affecting another skater mentally while performing, and that it has to be done before they start or done to themselves. by sheer chance of the program running draw, this was the equivalent of waiting until the last second to deliver the blow. yuzu leaves that day having given the impression that hes totally recovered and nathan ends up in 17th. in the end yuzu wins again and nathan climbs back to 5th. this would have been a pretty incredible mind game even without it seeming to very much throw nathan right off, but i guess it was a bonus in the end.
fundamentally, i think this worked SO well because it was a reminder of basically everything that made yuzu someone to fear, someone COMMANDING in the first place. yuzus radio silence had not only benefitted in that it took some of the pressure off him, but that he had (for the first time in quite a while) made himself an unknown quantity. everyone knows what hes capable of at full health, everyone knows hes intimidating and a show to watch! they hadnt seen him in months though, and there wasnt really a clear sign of the old yuzu during practice sessions though so the doubt crept in. despite him being only 23, hed injured both feet/ankles in the span of only 2 years, and the sport was very distinctly going through rapid changes at the time. it seemed possible to some that he just wasnt able to keep up at his level of repeated injury. he wanted a dramatic return and he got it.
marc and his various methods of reminding the grid what hes capable of so hes a constant presence in their mind is like a dripfeed version of this. yuzu has his own ways, usually more passive, of reminding everyone of this. his most obnoxious one is definitely talking about the quad axel though.
axels are the only jump with an additional half rotation, the takeoff faces forwards and they land backwards. this makes it the most difficult of the entire suite of jumps for each additional rotation. triple axels are a staple for the mens field as the highest ranking of the triple jumps, but a lot of them just are not good at it (everyone has better jumps and worse jumps, axels just seem to be a lot of peoples achilles heel)
yuzuru is obnoxiously good at them, his signature jump is the triple axel with an entry called a back counter, which changes direction and blade edge at the last second making it appear like the jump comes out of nowhere (this in itself is a showman thing) its the most difficult entry for a triple axel anyone does, and hes the only person who ever really bothered trying because even for the highest level skaters its ridiculously hard.
at the point in time of the 2018 olympics, every jump had been landed as a quad apart from the quad axel. and there was a reason for it: the predicted minimum scope needed for this jump was HUGE, at least 70cm high and about 4 metres long. vertical nba jumps are the same height. NO ONE EVEN WANTED TO TRY THIS FUCKING JUMP. there were discussions about just bypassing it and going straight for attempting quint (5 rotation jumps) instead THATS HOW BADLY THEY DIDNT WANT TO DO IT.
yuzuru, having now been forced to admit that a) he actually was still very injured (only 20-30% recovered) and was immediately going back into recovery having defended his olympic title and b) the painkillers didnt do shit so hed been in excruciating pain the whole time (although had gone completely painkiller loopy during gala practice at one point) decided that this was the opportunity to remind everyone that he was still very much the guy to beat despite the media talking otherwise, and announced that thats what hed decided he wanted to focus on next. just to put a little pressure on the field who thought the difficulty of their jumps gave them the edge. truly bonkers crazy, even nathan chen thought he was insane for that one.
hed mention it every so often, and did practice during public sessions on a couple of occasions, which was INSANE because he was very clearly getting closer and closer over time. this thing looked unreal to see, effectively because its bordering on the very limit of what the human body is actually able to do. the first quad jump was landed in 1988, the quad axel was landed (eventually) in 2022. thats how long it took to get there.
the effect this gave was a constant nipping threat on the heels of a field that was at this point pretty much all younger than yuzu (figure skaters retire EARLY). he had his own alien status well and truly secured, but the public reminders where you could tell he was getting closer were OMINOUS. you looked at that the same way you looked at marc when he does a save that doesnt look like it should be physically possible, no matter how good you are you will not be able to pull off whatever that is. it makes you nervous.
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this is about marc and also literally from today but is a perfect explanation of the control they both have over the way they communicate.
“Amazing the control he has, not only on the ice but in his life. He controls his choreography, he controls his music. He is just a master at this game” from here
everything is thought out and considered, everything intentional. it means you pay even more attention to their comments even if they sound cryptic. you place more weight in them because you know they are valued and considered.
i’ll wrap it up here as this is ridiculously long! there is a whole other essay i could write about yuzus taste for the show, everything from music to costume to the off ice performance but perhaps another time lol.
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lady-assnali · 1 year
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Ok, as promised here’s the continuation of This Part where Gigi comes back from Paris and Crystal is confused about things. With Jan’s advice, Crystal has to talk feelings
“I missed you so much, I’m so glad you’re here.” Gigi swings open the door and throws herself at Crystal, nearly knocking her over in the process. She wraps her arms around her and squeezes tight, burying her face in Crystal’s shoulder. The brunette sinks into the feeling for just a moment before stepping back, clearing the fuzziness from her headspace.
           “Are you embarrassed by me?” Well, shit. That isn’t how she’d intended to have this conversation. Gigi falters in her own movements, stopping in her tracks and spinning around with wide eyes.
           “What?” Her mouth stays open a bit, her head tilting. “Crys, I-what?”
           “I didn’t mean to ask you so up-front. That was supposed to come out really, really differently. I just-I need to talk to you, I didn’t want to chicken out.”
           “Okay, I…can we sit down?”
           She gestures for the couch and Crystal slips off her shoes, leaving them by the door. Gigi paces around the room, closing cabinets and tossing her blanket over the back of the couch, rearranging the pillows. Finding her place on the couch, Crystal sits on the edge of her seat. The room is suddenly filled with an awkward sort of tension. Gigi looks as if she’s about to cry, deflated and confused and uncomfortable in her own skin. For a moment, Crystal considers dropping the whole conversation. Then, she sees Nicky’s sweatshirt draped over the back of the armchair by the window. This isn’t a later conversation; it has to be done now.
           “Do you really think I’m embarrassed by you?” Gigi starts, her voice an imitation of the way she shrinks into herself.
           “I mean…yeah, kind of. Actually, not just kind of. I’ve been thinking that for a while now.”
           “Crystal,”
           “Why don’t you ever stay during my lives?” Gigi stiffens in her seat, shifting her gaze to the floor. The action both infuriates Crystal and upsets her even further. “Why don’t you ever do any of yours here? You always say how much people love to see you work, but you’re always doing them when I’m not around. I just…I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. My brain is putting things together.”
           It takes Gigi a long time to respond. Her lower lip is jutted out slightly, her head down. She runs a hand through her hair. She shifts in her seat. She breathes slowly until she’s finally looking up at Crystal, eyes glossed over with emotion.
           “I’ve been doing it on purpose. You’re right.”
           “Okay.”
           “But it’s not because of that; Crystal, I could never be embarrassed by you. You’re my favorite person on this earth. I miss you every second of time I’m traveling. I’m obsessed with your art, and your drive, and your passion, and I just…people were ruining that. They will ruin that.”
           “Wha-what do you mean?”
           “The only time I posted you in my story after getting my first job was just…I didn’t realize what I was doing. We were both at the studio; you were painting and I was trying to get some designs done. You put on some 90s hits station or whatever and we were just jamming, hanging out, I thought it would be a cute little thing to put on there like we always do. But then people were commenting on the story asking who you were, going to your profile, snooping around…they were throwing out some pretty hurtful things.”
           “Oh.”
           “I deleted the post and made sure the people who commented were blocked. It just…it threw me. I didn’t realize everything that comes with this. You have a full career ahead of you, you’re insanely talented, and I’m just getting likes for putting clothes on and looking pretty. And these idiots can’t see that.”
           “Why didn’t you say anything?”
           “I didn’t want you to deep dive. I didn’t want any of that to get stuck in your head, or to mess you up. I’m realizing now that I made that decision for you.”
           “Yeah, you did. And it still messed me up-I don’t get comments, sure,  but you not having anything to do with me was just so confusing. Because you’re always saying things about Nicky, or Symone, or any of your other friends. Just not me.”
           “I know, I see that now. I never meant to hurt you, you’re just…you’re different than everyone else. Knowing that people could hurt you just because you’re my friend? Knowing that I would be the person that triggered all this negativity? It’s a shitty excuse, but seeing you hurt like that would kill me.”
           Crystal doesn’t respond. She digs her toes into the carpet, head swirling with conflicting feelings. She wants to forgive Gigi immensely, hug her and reassure her and coddle her until they’ve both forgotten this even happened. Another part of her, the stubbornness inherited by the long line of powerful women in her family, forces her to keep her eyes off of Gigi and her head clear.
           “People can hurt everyone else you’re tagging too.” She murmurs. Gigi bites her bottom lip, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “I just wish you said something sooner, or gave me the choice. I just…I’m lost in the shuffle, y’know? And you say you value me more than that,”
           “-I do,”
           “-Then just…I don’t know. I’m not asking you to make some big long best friends forever post because that feels icky. I don’t want to come across as the kind of friend who doesn’t like you having other friends. I’m happy that you have people in your corner when you’re gone. I just want to be able to let people know how proud I am of you without it crossing some kind of invisible boundary. We talk about everything, and this just came out of nowhere.”
           “You’re right. I’m sorry, Crys.” She shuffles closer to her on the couch, grabbing her arm. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re less than. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’m really really sorry.”
           She’s near tears now, and Crystal squeezes her hand before opening her arms. Gigi falls into them, engulfing her in a tight hug with her legs curled up behind her. They sit like this for a while, contemplating where to go from here when one half of their world knows who Crystal is and the other is completely unaware. She’d been in one photo before, when Gigi had seen her first billboard, but it had been from behind and was tucked away in her feed, buried by professional photos and PR packages. Bringing her to light feels like coming out all over again, and it strikes a nervous chord for both of them even though they’re only admitting friendship.
           After a while Gigi pulls her phone off of the coffee table, tapping her fingers against the screen nervously. She wipes at the bottom of her eyes, opening the front facing camera.
           “Would you be ready to meet the world now?” She asks. The question comes out a bit slow, hesitant, but Crystal nods enthusiastically.
“Wait, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this right now.”
“I do have to do this right now, but not because I have to. I have to do this because I need to make things right. I never want you to feel less than again.”
The model can see her best friend nod through the screen, pressing their faces together. Crystal’s smile is brilliant; effervescent. Gigi isn’t crafting an image of herself, rather she lets the expression on her own face come naturally. After she takes the photo, she briefly contemplates posting it. Her eyes are wide like saucers, and she’s sure the world can see the way she’s lit up, turned into one giant heart. Maybe this is the look Nicky teases her about after she hangs up with Crystal when they’re away. Maybe this is the dead giveaway. But if Crystal is ready for the world to see them, then she’ll do it.
           She’ll just have to ignore her followers exposing her for who she really is; a person painfully  in love with their best friend.
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minty364 · 2 months
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DPXDC Prompt #58 Part 3
Gotham Academy High School was the sort of school where almost everyone was elite in some way or another. Some of them were from old money like Damian who held himself up to a very high standard in his academics and was the top of the class. Others from new money like Dash and the rest of his cohorts became very hateful of somebody like Danny who was given a scholarship by Bruce Wayne, in their eyes Danny was taking advantage of Damian not even knowing that Damian approached Danny for companionship two years ago.
This also meant that everyone including the teachers would compare Danny and Damian to each other even though they weren’t brothers. That didn’t matter though as Danny was associated with them so that was all the reason they needed.
Danny groaned as he sunk into the seat next to Damian. The lunchroom was filled with chatting students and Danny was glad he shared the next class with Damian, which happened to be English. Dash never bothered Danny when Damian was around, probably because Damian had threatened the jock. How he was threatened Danny didn’t know, Damian never told him what happened and he was a little scared to ask. 
The guy hadn’t stopped harassing Danny since he and Jazz transferred a couple years ago. The school year had barely begun and Dash had made Danny his primary target like he was making up for lost time over the summer. Danny sighed as he dropped his paper bagged lunch on the table with a little plop. Jazz had packed for him this morning hopefully before his parents arrived and contaminated the entire kitchen.
“Dash again?” his sister asked across the table, she was seated next to Tim.
“I was paired against him in dodgeball again,” Danny lamented, his head resting on his arms that were crossed on the table.
“Danny, could you just talk to Mr. Lancer or something?” Jazz asked before she took a bite from her sandwich.
Danny sighed again and unpacked his lunch, “I have but no one will listen! They all act like I’m lying or something.” The teachers at this school probably wouldn’t listen to a charity case like him. Dash was a football player and had plans to become captain of the team. Everyone at the school loved Dash and it was precisely why everyone except maybe the four students at the table they were seated looked down and sometimes even bullied Danny.
Danny ignored it all eventually, it was better just to let the jock tire himself out. 
Once Danny and Damian finished eating they made their way to English. Luckily it was easy to carry the material for a class that only required a small binder and whatever book they were reading, in this case it was ‘gone with the wind’. Danny didn’t really care about reading old literature like this but he did what he had to maintain the grades he had. He’d endure anything, even Dash’s bullying, to become an astronaut.
Danny could hardly concentrate today through his afternoon classes. For some reason he had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. He tried his best to ignore it, he was probably just tired or something. Soon the school day was out and Danny packed up whatever homework he had for the day and headed outside to wait with Jazz. Damian and Tim were probably wrapping up their classes. Tim had an AP class that ran an extra 30 minutes and Damian’s last class was art, they were doing a painting and it wasn’t unusual for Damian to finish up what he was working on as he found out over the last few years that he enjoyed painting.
“… Do you think it’ll work?” Jazz asked a hint of hesitation in her voice. Danny knew she was talking about the portal, the both of them had talked about it before. Danny glanced over at his sister, he could tell she was having trouble sleeping lately, her face looked tired and her posture was stiff with her arms crossed in front of her. Both of them had anxiety about the possibilities the portal possessed, and they were especially worried that their parents wouldn’t take it well if the portal didn’t work. 
He was equally concerned that it would work. “I hope not…” he said eventually. It was something that brought the siblings closer as the whole of their family fell apart. How their parents managed to pull off getting the funding in the first place seemed to be a miracle. Everyone called their parents crazy and dismissed all of their science as ludicrous garbage.
Danny wondered how they even managed to stay under Batman's radar, he thought that something like this would be cause for the vigilante to look into it but maybe the thought of ghosts was just that outlandish that even the dark knight himself thought it to be crazy too. Danny himself didn’t believe in anything his parents published, some of the papers even seemed to be biased somehow, even though his parents hadn’t ever actually encountered a ghost. That last part was probably the reason no one bothered to actually investigate his parents, there wasn’t really much to investigate.
The siblings waited in silence and eventually Tim and Damian showed up after their classes and the four headed to Alfred waiting by the car. 
If anyone tried to start a conversation with Danny he wasn’t paying attention. If he was being honest, his parents' portal scared him a lot. He wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous about it, both him and Jazz renounced the thought that ghosts could exist. Something deep down in his guts told him that he should turn and run, that what his parents were attempting was taboo and that his parents were tampering with forces unimaginable. 
No one was going to listen to a fourteen year old though so Danny kept his feelings to himself and ignored them. 
Soon they were pulled in front of their apartment and true to their word, Damian and Tim asked Alfred to park nearby. Danny and Jazz took a hesitant glance at each other as they walked into the house. 
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neil-gaiman · 19 days
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This isn’t a question, but I want to thank you for your books and how they’ve impacted my life.
Over thirteen years ago, I read Neverwhere for the first time and it changed what kind of writer I wanted to be. I went on to read more of your books—my other two favourites were The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane.
About 11 or so years ago, I asked you on Twitter if I could read Stardust on a Twitch livestream, and you responded, “Fine by me”. It was one of my best streams, and while life got in the way of me doing more, I still remember it incredibly fondly.
Ten years ago I had a baby, and while he was an infant, I read him, Fortunately, the Milk, in an attempt to read him a book. He didn’t seem interested. I decided I’d try again some other time perhaps. But I did resolve to get him to read The Graveyard Book someday.
Nine years ago, when I was a mother of a one-year-old, I posted a status on Facebook simply saying, “We do not forget.”
Two years ago, I went on holiday, and I downloaded the audio book version of The Graveyard Book from our local library. My eight-year-old son listened to it as he fell asleep, though he ended up missing some parts, and we shelved it.
Last year, he read Coraline and didn’t like it. That isn’t your fault. He read Charlotte’s Web and didn’t like that either. He just didn’t quite have the understanding for them.
This year, he read Coraline and liked it. I told him it was from the same author as The Graveyard Book. He lamented that he never finished The Graveyard Book, and I said he could always download it from the library again.
Then about a month ago, he and I went through a tough time. I was really stressed about life, he wasn’t doing so well either, and our relationship got strained. I was angry with him all the time. I needed a break from him, or I thought I did. But one day when he was at his dad’s I realised that I wouldn’t get this time back. That I needed to fix it. So I asked him if he wanted me to read to him at bedtime. Just like when he was little. And we settled on The Graveyard Book.
On nights when he got to bed on time, I’d read a chapter. It often meant stretching past bedtime, but I could never stop halfway. It had been years since I’d read it too, and I found myself remembering things I’d forgotten. I’d watch his dark eyes widen whenever things got exciting, and I loved when he would interrupt me with an important revelation. “It’s Scarlett! His friend!” he’d say. “The dog! The grey dog!” “I know what Silas is!” He would tell me that I did the voices so well, that it seemed to match each character so perfectly.
We didn’t read every night, but it was a treat when we did. One night we had an argument and he told me he hated me. That he wished I was dead. And that he wanted to be with his dad. I told him to go take a shower, and that I’d ask his dad to come get him. His dad said no, but agreed to talk to him on the phone. After the shower, my son apologised for what he said. I said okay, and told him to call his dad to chat. After their call, he asked if we would still have story time. I asked if he preferred that or to have some space. He said he wanted both, but wanted story time more than space. So I read to him. It was the chapter when Bod and Silas argued, and then apologised to each other. Halfway through that chapter, my son asked for snuggles. I said, what happened to space? And he said, “I want snuggles more than space.”
We were sad when it ended. We finished it last weekend. I cried as I read it. But it was a beautiful sadness. We’ve talked about it a bit since then, to process it. He says he would like to read more about Silas and Bod’s adventures and asked if there was fan fiction about it. I told him to look, and to write some if there wasn’t. Perhaps I’ll write some too, just for him.
Last night he was at his dad’s and I was browsing Facebook and sent him a couple of his old pictures. Then I found an old post. From exactly nine years ago. And so I sent it to him.
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It brought tears to my eyes. I did not remember making that post, and I’ve forgotten a great deal over the years, but I hope I do not forget these little moments with my son. But even if I do, I have them written down here to remind me again.
And thank you. For the words you’ve written and the impact you’ve had on our lives and hearts. I hope that your life holds the same amount of joy and love that you’ve given to others with your words.
That made me so happy. Thank you. I hope you and your son keep growing together.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 4 months
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Baby fever Scenarios and Headcanons with Husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley (Ghostie)
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Thank my baby godson for this one, if it hadn't been for him having me take care of him for the whole day then I wouldn't have anything to write because as of now I have no motivation or ideas to continue my past wips. Render credits are all to the lovely @ave661 who keeps feeding us. My little godson still sleeping on my chest, drool, snore and all as I'm writing this. I can't move, please send help. This is so short too, sorry to disappoint you guys 😭
Y'all CANNOT tell me I'm the only one who thinks of Simon "Ghost" Riley having baby fever from his own children (I would give him more, all he needs to do is ask 😭). Also these are basically moments of Simon with Ghostie, just a bit more general in terms of the baby's gender since some of y'all want boy!dad Simon but originally Ghostie is a girl.
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @trepaika @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld
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❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who loves to toss the baby up in the air, simply just for amusement and both of them needed entertainment. Safe to say Soap never did that until the little one was a lot older because when he did it, he ended up with a glob of drool on his face.
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❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who is always so vocal with his baby, you could just tell the influence of him talking to the baby. Just the rumble of his voice sends the tiny one into a fit of giggles while they're on his chest.
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who was influenced by you to do that viral thing on the internet, people throwing a slice of cheese on their crying baby to make them stop. It worked and they ate it.. now he keeps the fridge stocked with sliced cheese for that reason.
❥ Babyfever!Husband!Simon who was determined to assemble everything, baby's crib, the car seat.. though the bottle sterilizer was something he needed your help with. Both of you trying to figure where the missing piece went only to find your little one chewing on it.
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who comes home late at night yet his little one follows him like a mother duck, as much as he wants to, Simon refused to have contact until he's out and squeaky clean from a shower. Always worrying about how they might catch something from outside while the little one is directly outside the bathroom door waiting for their dad and peeking from the little space underneath the door, knocking every 3 minutes for dada to come out.
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who has the time of his life teaching the baby CPR, it started as a joke between the 141 and now your baby knows the word and knows what to do in response to it, the bunny stuffie is the one receiving the medical attention with the little crisp giggle after Simon praises them.
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who you find laughing his ass off at Soap who was forced by the puppy eyes of your little one to wear a pink tutu that was on the verge of breaking from his size, glittered fairy wings that were made of wire and horrid quality of pink mesh fabric, a plastic tiara and a light up fairy wand. They forced him to do ballet. (Gaz definitely had that as his phone's wallpaper for a month)
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who love cherishing little moments of how the world reminds him of how naive, dumb and gullible his little one could be. Having a leash kid yet for a completely different reason from misbehaving and being too hyperactive. Walking on a bridge with him over a river as a little family outing at the park when your little one pointed at the aggressive stream of water underneath, Simon jokingly asking them if they want to be tossed in and without a word they turn to you with their arms up and wiggling for uppies. When that didn't work they turned to their dad doing the same thing, making Simon chuckle so much that he almost coughed as they slowly let their arms drape back down to their sides, little pout in disappointment. You playfully glared at your husband, having to explain to a toddler why they can't swim in a strong stream of dirty water.
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❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who is very much amused about how the baby likes his stuble, hoping he won't cause a rash to them because of how much they press their face into his. He makes sure it's extremely well kept after the very first time it happened 😭.
❥ Babyfever!Dad!Simon who loves seeing his toddler in their sleep shirt which is basically just his shirt drooping on the floor because it's too big for them but the they're chunky enough to keep it on themselves. Just thinking of Simon hearing the loud stomps of footsteps approving their bedroom, the short pause of silence before the frantic sound of the door knob jingling, he always knew who was about to enter the room. Holding their bunny stuffie while pulling on the blanket of their dad's side of the bed to ask him for help to climb up.
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teddynottss · 1 month
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• - I DARE YOU TO RIDE HIS THIGH - •
PAIRING(S): mattheo riddle x fem. reader !
WARNING(S): thigh riding, his pov, smut
SUMMARY: y/n gets dared to ride mattheo’s thigh, and after pausing the game, they manage to get locked in alone in Draco’s room.
A/N: im thinking maybe threesome theo and mattheo for my next write?
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You and pansy decided to attend a party hosted by some of your fellow slytherin friends at their house. You got your dress on, got there, and began your night.
You got lost into the night, drinking and dancing and drinking and dancing. You met theo, one of the hosts of the party, and danced with him for a bit before the two of you were called to play a game of truth or dare.
Everyone got in a circle to begin the game. Astoria, Pansy, you, draco, theo, blaise, mattheo-theodore’s roommate, who youve never met before, and many, many more. You’d heard about Mattheo before, the dark lord’s son, but what you didn’t know is how fucking attractive this man is.
The game began and so many secrets were revealed and dares were made. Astoria and Pansy were dared to kiss, blaise shared his mom’s number with everyone, draco admitted to once clogging the toilet in his 2nd year, and much more funny stuff.
Theodore spun the bottle and it landed on mattheo. Theo immediately smirked before speaking “i dare you to sit on a chair, while one of the girls rides your thigh for a minute.” A bunch of “oos”were shared in the room. Mattheo just shook his head in disappointment at his friend’s dare.
“Okay so here’s how we’re gonna pick the girl, we’re gonna spin the bottle again.” Theo spins the bottle and it lands on you. Fuck. You were attracted to this man, but thats not how you were planning to get his attention.
Everyone laughs, ready for the show to begin, and you looked up to see mattheos reaction to which you found him staring at you. He came near you and got close, you could feel his breath on your ear “you don’t have to do this if ur uncomfortable.” he whispered. “ its fine.” You stated before you both got to your spot.
He sat on a chair and they started playing music, you got close to him as he manspread, providing enough space for you. You were wearing a dress with just your panties from the bottom, meaning your already wet clit was gonna rub his thigh.
You place yourself on him, grinding slowly at first. Your hands grab his thighs, fingers digging there to remain balanced. He places his hands on your waist guiding you as little moans and whimpers leave both your mouth and his. Good thing the music was loud enough so that the others wouldnt hear them.
his pov:
Gosh, how did i ever end up in this situation. Ive only met the girl for 30 mins and now shes riding my thigh. That asshole theo knows my weaknesses and he decides to use them against me when i tell him about the attractive girl. She’s so good at it it’s driving me insane.
Her clit is rubbing at my thigh and i can already feel myself harden, god fuck she probably felt that. Im now a whimpering mess, i need more than this. This girl is fucking amazing i need her closer. It takes every muscle in me not to kiss her or even throw my head back but this girl is driving me out of my mind.
your pov:
Your wet clit was rubbing against his bare skin since he’s wearing shorts. The only thing separating your skin was your panties. Suddenly, you feel something poking your back, you know what this is and you are aware of this situation.
God, this was the longest minute of your whole entire fucking life. “Times uppp!!” Theo shouts making you jump up.
“Alright everyone, for Christ’s sake we’re taking a break” Blaise spoke as everyone separated from the area. “Woahh, that was fucking hot y/n” Astoria spoke. You smiled at her and glanced Mattheo’s way only to find him already looking at you while his friends tease him about what just happened.
“Yo mattheo, y/n needs to use the bathroom, mind leading her there?” Pansy joked as the boy nodded. Confused and pissed at your friends for this act of embarrassment, you play along and follow the slytherin boy up the stairs. Just then, as you’re both making your way to the bathroom, someone pushes you both into a room and locks you in there. “Have fun in there losers.” Fuck.
As you were confused on what to do, you turned around inspecting the room before you were met with the boy right in front of you. “Heyy, sorry if it was awkward before, i did not want that to be our first impression,” he apologized. A smile tugged at your lips as you said “no worries, i enjoyed that anyway, plus you made a horrible job at covering your boner.”
He smirked playfully as he blushed, then you turned around and before you could walk to the bed, he grabbed your hand, making you turn as he connected your lips. You kissed him back rapping your arms around his neck. He smirked into the kiss as he pinned you to the wall.
His eyes full of lust, his hands working on removing both of your clothes as trails kisses down your collarbone. You help him to remain just in your red set of lingerie. “Fucking hell.” He whispers before carrying you to the bed. You get on top of him kissing him as his hands roam your body. “This is draco’s room, he’s gonna be mad as fuck.” You both chuckle.
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He kisses you again and slips his tongue in your mouth, you grind on him moaning quietly. “Gaaa..d” he moans into the kiss, grabbing your hair. You help him out of his pants and boxers laying between his legs. Your lips only inches away from his hard cock, you take him in your hands, preparing him.
He’s now sat down you the bed, you between his thighs. You tease his tip, giving it a kiss with your mouth before wrapping your lips around his cock, taking everything he has to give. He groans at your actions, grabbing you by your hair guiding you. You even make a few gagging noises which makes him throw his head back “haaaa.. fuck yeah. just like that baby… mmh.”
You then bob your head up and down, speeding your movements. “fuckkk.. shit yeah. hell yeahh ..hmm fuck- faster faster.. hmhh” he whimpers. just then, he cums in your mouth making you swallow every bit. He grabs you by the face kissing you “good girl”.
Then, he unclasps your bra, while leaving soft kisses on your neck. Your boobs pop out, “fuck wow.” he speaks before beginning to pleasure you. He begins nipping and sucking on your left tit, his other hand cupping your other breast. He flicks your tit in his hand, pinching it, making you moan and whimper against his touch.
Trailing kisses down your stomach, he grabs your panties pulling them down, adding them to the pile of clothes that has now formed on the floor. “You’re already this wet hmm?” he smirks to which you nod at. He slips two of his fingers in, curling them inside you, he connects your lips, not allowing any loud sounds to be heard. He speeds his movement as you’re now under him, arching your back to feel him closer, he uses his fingertips to trail your hipbone.
“Mattheo…” “yes, sweetheart ?” “I need you inside me please right now.” his lips tug into a smile before he says “whatever you want baby .” then, he removes his fingers, holds your hands and pins them above your head. He lines his hard cock with your entrance, teasing your clit. Then, suddenly, he pushes inside you making you moan loudly.
“FUCKKK” you scream. “Shh, sweetheart, i don’t want anyone to hear your little moans.” He leaves you to adjust to his size before he begins thrusting inside you. He lowers his face to kiss you, slipping his tongue in. He bites your lower lip, licking it before moving down to your neck. Just then, you speak. “mmh gonna cum” you say with your eyes closed from the pleasure.
“Not yet love,” mattheo then lifts you up, pulling out of you. He places you on the bed, sat and not anymore facing him. He then places his legs above yours, before pushing inside you. This was much deeper and better. You throw your hands above your mouth to keep from making noises as he begins rubbing your clit. You scream as you come clean on him. “Good girl” he praises before pulling out of you.
“We have to clean this shit up or draco will kick me out.” You both chuckle as he goes to the bathroom (in dracos room) and turns the bath on. “I cant walk mattheo.” He laughs loud before pulling you off the bed and carrying you to the shower. “I guess this will be our room for tonight, draco will have to deal with it” you both laugh.
1K notes · View notes
enhaheeseung · 7 days
Text
BREAK UP - L. HEESEUNG
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Pairing: heeseung X fem reader
Warnings: crying, break up, angst, cursing, heartbreak, arguments.
Word count: 2,072k
Note: I'm just writing a few drabbles for now, hoping to get my engagement up a bit. This is really rushed, so it’s not good, but oh well.
-
“Babe, when are you coming to bed?”
It’s twelve am, and you have been waiting hours past your bedtime so you can finally go to sleep with your boyfriend for the first time in literal months.
It’s been a while since he started working from home, and you thought that would free up some space for you both to spend time together.
You thought you guys could go back to normal like how you used to be but now it seemed like he worked even more after being able to work from home on top of his promotion.
You received no answer, and you sighed. This had been going on for months, him ignoring you and solely focusing on work. You disappointedly slipped under the covers so you could patiently wait for him to be finished.
Staring at the clock, you counted down every minute until a full thirty minutes passed.
You decided to give it another go thinking half hour may have been enough time for him to conclude his work. “Honey, it’s so late,” your voice is groggy, eyes half opened, and you’re still worried about your boyfriend’s well-being. How could you not be when he barely ate and barely slept anymore? The last time you two spent quality time together was so long ago you couldn’t even remember. “Please come to bed. I know you’re tired.”
He snaps at your words, only increasing the annoyance that he currently feels. “Can you just stop talking, damn?!” He agitatedly shouts out of nowhere, turning his head in your direction with an angry expression plastered on his tired features.
Startled by the sudden loudness of his tone you jumped a little bit not used to him speaking to you that way. “S-sorry I was just worried” you tucked back under the covers your heart aching in your chest cause of what he said to you.
He was always on edge lately, but you never received that type of treatment from him. Ever even in your five years of dating, he has always been respectful to you.
“You’re sorry?” he scoffs. “You should be sorry I’m the one working hard every day to provide for you and all the frivolous bullshit you buy, and this is the thanks I get. Do me a favor and stop fucking bothering me while I’m working,” he rubs his temples, turning his attention back to his computer.
It most certainly wasn’t the first time he’d said such harsh words to you after your constant nagging for him to eat and sleep more, but this was the first time you felt pure anger from him, and it worried you cause he was never this bad before and you feared that as time went on like this it would just get worse.
“O-okay.” You looked at his stressed back, noticing how tense his shoulders were, and you felt bad knowing he was taking on all of the work to provide for you both. Apparently, all you were doing was bothering him, but you weren’t doing it intentionally. “I guess it’s a crime to care about my boyfriend.” Your voice broke a little, and you turned your back to him, calling it quits for the night. He could come to bed whenever he wanted.
“You know what?” He shuts the computer and sighs. “I think.” he pauses for a moment, the silence getting the best of your nerves cause you were scared about what he was going to say. “We should just break up.”
His words dangle in the air for minutes, and within those minutes, you feel tears pricking your eyes and your heart breaking into little tiny bits. “Hee-“ you sat up now, looking at him with your bloodshot eyes.
“I know you’re going to run down every reason why we shouldn’t, but I’m done. I’m tired of this, and I’m tired of talking. I can’t do it anymore, and nothing you say can ever change my mind.”
You’re left absolutely speechless too stunned to even say anything not to say he would want to hear it or listen now anyway.
You’ve spent so many long years of your life with him that you couldn’t see yourself being with anyone else besides him you thought that he was your happy ever after and to hear him say he wants to break up felt like a dream a very bad dream never in your life did you ever think he’d say the words but he did and it came out so easily like he’s been wanting to say it but only now decided to.
And the thought made you upset because if he’s been feeling this way for this long why did he even bother to string you along knowing he didn’t see a future with you anymore after your guys relationship went downhill?
In the midst of your thoughts his voice brings you back to the present. “I’ll call your mom in the morning so you can get all your stuff and be out by tomorrow.” You don’t respond, and the only thing you hear for the next few hours is typing on a keyboard.
You would go to the sofa, but you’re literally glued to the bed, paralyzed by grief.
The tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and they definitely didn’t stop once he came to bed. If anything, they got worse when you felt his warmth so close to you but yet so far away.
He tried slipping his hand around your waist, but you slapped it away. “Don’t touch me,” you say through your heartbroken cries.
He immediately retracted his hand, a little surprised at first by how quickly you rejected his touch.
He didn’t care really he just thought it might comfort you a little so you could sleep since you’ve been up crying for literally hours but it didn’t matter one way or the other to him as he turned on his side and shut his lamp off.
Heeseung slept soundly while you lay awake, crying every last tear you had left in you.
-
When morning struck, heeseungs alarm woke him up. His eyes shot open, and he quickly grabbed his phone, turning the awful sound off.
He turned towards your side of the bed and patted the soft material in search of your warmth, but he found none.
His eyes opened, and he was met with a few luggage bags that looked to be packed already. He sat up confused for a moment until memories of last night flooded his mind.
He heard a rustle coming from the closet, and you appeared a second later, already fully dressed this early in the morning. Usually, you would still be asleep when he started work.
But obviously, today was different.
His eyes shifted throughout the room. Most of your stuff was already gone.
As you walked to each end of the room collecting your stuff, his eyes followed you, watching your every movement.
The moment he saw you grabbing all your ornaments, he felt an ache in his chest.
You didn’t have much in the bedroom, but those little ornaments had you written all over them, and it was one of the few things that made it obvious to him that he wasn’t living alone, and seeing them all getting wiped out made him feel sick to his stomach. “Y/n?” He mumbled out while nervously picking at his nails.
You didn’t answer. Of course, you didn’t. He said he was done talking, and so were you. Last night, you came to terms with this. It took hours, but you just accepted it.
You had to.
Were you going to miss him?
Yes.
Was it going to hurt?
Yes.
But you didn’t want to be in his life if he didn’t want you to be in his.
You continued to pick up the little porcelain cat decorations, and that’s when he decided to slip out from under the covers and walk over to you, standing behind you and taking the figurine from your hand, setting it back down where it had been sitting for the last couple of years. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in your ear while back hugging you, the warmth of his bare chest sending electricity throughout your body. “About last night, sweetheart, I was just tired and said a lot of things I didn’t mean, and I know that it sounds like a shitty excuse, but I really didn’t mean it, baby. I’ve just been so stressed lately, and I hate myself for taking it out on you. I’m so sorry I made you cry.” he closed his eyes, inhaling your scent, the one he’d been missing for months.
You hated yourself for the way you melted into his arms after all the things he said to you last night, but it’s just been so long since you felt his touch on you that you couldn’t help it.
You leaned into him, his body pressing flush against yours. It felt so good being in his strong arms again.
But as fast as you melted, you hardened up even quicker, slipping out of his grasp.
You started packing up your things again, keeping a good distance from him because right now you know you could easily forgive him, but you didn’t want to because there’s no way he could say what he said to you last night and change up so quickly in the morning you weren’t falling for it.
When you walked by him, he quickly extended his hand, grabbing you by your elbow, pulling you into his chest, and hugging you closely. “Little one, please forgive me.” he rested his chin atop your head, stroking your back softly. “I need you. Love, without you, I don’t have anything, you know that. Remember, I’ve told you so many times everything I do is all for you. I know I made a mistake, but I’m sorry. Please forgive me, please?” His voice shook slightly, and you could feel just how fast his heart was beating against your chest and the words were on the tip of your tongue, but for the way you feel right now, you think breaking up would just be for the best.
You two were living different lives, and the compatibility wasn’t aligned anymore. As much as you hated living a life without him, the thought of living a life where he was working and you were being neglected was something you hated even more.
Your breath got caught in your throat the moment his lips pressed against your neck. “Please,” he begged in between each soft kiss he left on your neck. “Say something, please,” he sniffles softly and rests his palms over your stomach.
You peeled his hand off your body, turning around to tell him that you were done straight to his face, but it was so hard cause he looked absolutely distraught. “Heeseung, I’m leaving, and that’s final.”
The sob he let out almost made you break down in tears yourself. He tried to cover it by cupping his mouth, but it was too late. It was one of the most heartbreaking things you’ve ever heard from him, and you had to leave now before you ended up forgiving him.
You quickly grabbed your things, wheeling them to the front door with him close behind you. “I can’t let you go, y/n. I-I love you.” his arms were secured around you again, and you stood there, trying to remain as emotionless as possible until he finally let go of you. “So that’s just it? What am I supposed to do without you, baby?” He asked warm tears running down his cheeks he looked so sad and vulnerable.
“You said you were tired of talking, and at this point, so am I. Goodbye, heeseung. I hope work treats you better than I ever could.” You unlocked the front door and opened it.
“Y/n-“
“Enough!” You shouted at him, losing your patience finally and letting all your months of pent-up anger get the best of you.
He stood there completely stunned by you raising your voice at him, and it left him speechless.
Even though his mouth was parted like he wanted to say something, the words just never made their way out.
The last thing you saw before slamming the door was his sad, tearful expression, but this was what he asked for, and he got it.
-
Thanks for reading likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated sorry for any typos or errors I hope you all have a good day/night♥️
583 notes · View notes
catboyieejeno · 1 year
Text
nct dream reaction ¡! ❞
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
content: smut, cursing, mature, pet names (baby, babe, doll, etc.)
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18+ ! minors do not interact
masterlist
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ mark lee
mark had spent the last few hours hunched over the soundboard, paper and pen clutched in hand as he racked his brain for something, anything that would make the verse he was writing not entirely dull. but it was so hard to think, to conjure a single logical or productive thought, when you were sat right beside him, doing what you were.
your fingertips are scratching at his scalp, right above the nape of his neck. meanwhile, your other hand busies itself on his thigh, nails tracing random shapes over the material his sweats. frustrated, tired, and in a haze of unorganized thoughts and ideas, mark rolls his head back into the palm of your hand with a low hiss.
“something about this verse doesn't sound right,"
"i think you've just been looking at it too long," you press your lips softly into his cheek and he sighs at the feeling.
"maybe," hums mark, "i just want to finish already,"
"what if,” you whisper, “you take a break for a few minutes, that way you can look at it with new eyes, find out what’s wrong with it.”
the feeling of your breath on the shell of his ear makes his hair stand on end. the bare minimum— that’s all you have to do and you have mark’s head spinning, analyzing whether or not your alleged ‘break’ really implied something else. immediately, he feels the blood rush to his-
what is he doing? he needs to keep working on the song.
he shakes his head. mark readjusts his pants, but the gesture doesn't go unnoticed by you. you're quick to catch the way he fixes himself and wipes the sweat off his palms. “babe,” he tries.
“yes?” your voice is sweet and airy, resembling a pant, with fingers lightly trailing his waistline.
“baby.” there’s an underlying warning to his tone this time; nevertheless, you can sense the bit of desperation he fails to hide.
with your thumb, you lift the waistband and slip your hand inside in one smooth motion. at the same time, your lips attach to his neck.
"i need to finish the song," his head tilts to make space for you, contradicting his words, and you smirk against his skin as you feel him gulp.
"you need a break, baby,"
"mmph," why did you have him so hooked, "no, i need to work-"
"then work," you place your hand on him over his underwear, "no one's stopping you,"
you're giving his bulge a squeeze, teeth grazing his neck, when mark mentally thanks the heavens that he's sitting. otherwise, he's sure his knees would've given out.
"yeah, but," he gasps, "i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ huang renjun
"jun,"
renjun hums in response, not looking up from the book on his chest. he's lying down, eyes scanning the text on the pages while his other hand rests on his stomach, fingers bouncing mindlessly.
with a pout settled on your bottom lip, you sit beside him on your knees, practically begging for any bit of his attention.
all of your attempts to divert his focus away from that damned book have been overlooked. you tried changing your shirt, toying with your bra, and nothing. he didn't even bother to try and sneak a glance when you pulled up your skirt, flashing your pink panties at him.
it was all getting rather annoying.
daringly, your place your hand over his, maneuvering it slowly down until you stop right over his crotch.
"tsk tsk," he moves his hand back up, "what are you doing?"
"junnie," you mewl, fingers tracing the outline of him.
he remains unmoving until you decide you've had enough. when your hand goes into his pants, his lips part slightly, sharply drawing in a breath, and his eyes finally break away from the page to look at you. they're wide open in shock.
"i've been trying to get your attention for the last 20 minutes,"
"well, you should've just asked." he laughs, sounding a little cocky. your eyes narrow at him when he speaks again, "i'll make it up to you, baby," when he goes to close the book, you stop the motion of your wrist, a devilish idea coming to mind.
"no,"
"what?"
"i want you to keep reading," you say matter-of-factly. he's taken aback when your strokes get bolder and you feel him getting harder in your hand, "since you didn't want to pay any attention to me, you can keep reading."
"but i wanna make you feel good-"
"keep reading or i'll stop."
renjun picks up his book hurriedly and flips it open to where he left off. this time, when you pull your shirt off, his eyes are roaming your skin rather than the words of his novel, shallow breaths leaving his parted lips.
he's fully hard now, a flustered mess, uttering whispered pleas of your name.
"baby, that feels so-" he whines quietly.
"focus on your book."
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck." his hips buck up into your hand, book falling to the side as he comes into your fist.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ lee jeno
about five minutes ago, you were cursing the day you ever let your boyfriend talk you into working out with him.
jeno is normally sweet, shy, affectionate, considerate, but for some reason, when he steps through the doors of the gym, he discovers each and every new way to push all of your buttons.
he’d try to… encourage you throughout your routine, which resulted in you guys bickering the whole way home because he “just couldn’t let you do it at your own pace.” that, or he’d all-together forget about you until he was done with his own work out, headphones plugged in and blasting for 2, sometimes even 3 hours.
tonight, he had dragged you to a small gym that he claimed had less people, for your comfort and his privacy as an idol, and while that was true, you couldn’t help but think to yourself, of course there’s going to be less people— no one is at the gym at two in the fucking morning.
now, however, you’re leaning against the wall, fully over even attempting to finish your work out, watching as jeno does his usual bicep curls in nothing but his tiny black shorts and a matching tank that is skin-tight.
his jaw is locked and tense, face twisting as he strains while pulling up the weights during the rep. sweat makes the ends of his hair stick to his forehead, and when he’s done, he huffs, chest heaving. even the way he grabs his water to gulp it down is messing with your head.
yeah… maybe you didn’t hate the gym that much.
you don’t know what’s different about today, but you’ve been rubbing your thighs together for the last 30 minutes, hoping he’d announce soon that he’s close to done. when that moment never comes, you take matters into your own hands.
“hi, jen,” you stride over to him, a sly smile playing at your lips.
“hey, pretty baby. i’m almost finished, i just have to do-“
blatantly disregarding what he was talking about, you lean in until your lips are kissing the corner of his, “i can’t watch you work out anymore,” you whine, “it’s driving me crazy,”
confused and oblivious as ever, jeno pulls his eyebrows together, “well, i’m sorry, i thought you liked coming here with me-“
“not that kind of crazy, love,” your hand grabs his, guiding it between your legs, “the kind where i want you to bend me over any piece of equipment in here.”
“w-wha-well, i uhm-“
he swallows thickly when you bring your other hand into his shorts, grabbing his dick and pumping it a few times. his hand stays between your legs, though he doesn’t move.
“baby, i promise,” he pants, “this is my last set and then i’m taking you home and we can-“
“why can’t we do it here?”
“are you insane? what if somebody comes in? i have-shit- i have one more set and- ohh, aah-“
“jeno?”
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
jeno’s arm flies back to lean his weight against whatever machine is behind him, trying to stay upright. his fingers finally start moving, rubbing some much needed friction to the spot between your legs. his brain has become mush in less than 2 minutes, lost in the pleasure that you’re giving him. his work out is long forgotten as he groans out your name.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ lee donghyuck
"you can't sleep with your makeup on, doll," hyuck grumbles, "stop fighting me on this,"
he straddles your lap to keep you from wiggling around, hovering over you with a make-up removing wipe wrapped between his long fingers.
his cheeks are a delicious shade of red, shiny from the sheer layer of sweat that covers his pretty features. he looks boyish and unruly, hair falling messily over his glossed-over eyes as they stare into your own.
your face is surely mirroring his, flushed from all of the drinks in your system. what started as a date night with your boyfriend ended with you having close to a bottle and half of wine each, not that you’re complaining. his body is warm above yours, clouding your judgement more than the alcohol ever could. greedily, your hands wander up his thighs.
hyuck is rambling and slurring distractedly, using the scented wipe to gently swipe away the remnants of product from under your eyes, "it's not good for your skin if you leave your makeup on, you know that-" you can't even focus on what he's lecturing you on because his lips are stained red from the wine, and he seems to have been licking them, given how wet they are.
"hyuck, baby."
"-yes?"
you pucker up your lips, "give me a kiss."
he complies with a cheeky smile, mouth molding obediently against yours. he lets out a throaty moan at your affection.
your fingers fly to the button on his jeans, undoing them. hyuck quickly pulls back, “baby, let me take off your makeup first,”
“but i wanna feel you,” you mumble innocently, hands reaching for the hem of his underwear.
“oh, believe me,” as maliciously as ever, he tongues his cheek, eyebrows wiggling, “you will.”
working as fast and gently as possible, he continues to wipe your face, jaw tightening as you grope him, “hmm, y/n.”
“what’s wrong, baby?”
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck." his head falls into the crook of your shoulder and he shudders at the feeling of your cool hands wrapping around his base. under your palm, you feel him twitch, but hyuck is determined to remain unfazed and not engage in your little game until he’s done.
he composes himself and sighs. another wipe is taken from the pack, softly cleaning your forehead and cheeks.
“shit–alright,” he seethes as you squeeze his tip. hyuck tosses the wipe aside, grunting. your boyfriend roughly grabs your face with one hand, making you stop your teasing, “all done.”
instantly, he leans in, letting his lips meet yours again. this kiss is more lustful than the last; it’s sloppy and needy, and when he pulls away for air, he stays so close that he practically breathes his next words into your mouth, “i should’ve left your makeup on so you could watch me ruin it.”
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ na jaemin
it's unfortunate that you're a light sleeper, seeing as it makes it quite difficult for your boyfriend to do something nice for you.
this morning, jaemin had woken up an hour before you usually do with the intention to surprise you by making breakfast and delivering it to you in bed.
he had everything worked out: he set his alarm on his phone and kept it tucked under his pillow so he could rush to silence it once he woke up, hoping that you'd continue to sleep undisturbed. from there, he rolled out of bed as quietly as possible, tip-toeing out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to make you the best breakfast-in-bed ever.
everything was going according to plan, until now. he had just scooped the first bit of pancake batter into the pan when the padding of your feet alerts him of your presence. your arms wrap around his waist, nose nuzzling into his back.
like a child who didn’t get his way, jaemin whines out and stomps his feet a bit, "babe, you weren't supposed to be up yet.”
"i felt you get up, jaem," you laugh, "let me help you-"
"nope! you're not allowed to do anything. this was supposed to be a surprise,"
"alright, fine."
when you try to pull away to get ahead on the dishes, jaemin's hand drags you back in, right to where you were on his waist.
well, if he won't let you let you help in the kitchen, maybe you can help a different way.
mischievously, your teeth graze his back and shoulders, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the muscles on his stomach, which immediately tense at the contact of your cold fingers. when your actions elicit a reaction from him, a small knowing scoff that told you that he knew exactly what you were up to, you continue your efforts, trailing down to loosen the drawstrings of his joggers.
"oh, yeah," he hums when you touch him. no more than a second later, the free hand that isn’t busy flipping pancakes comes down to wrap over yours, guiding it up and down on his length, “you’re so naughty.”
"i just wanna repay you for getting up early to make me breakfast,"
"if you keep going," he whimpers, "i might end up wanting something else for breakfast," jaemin's chest is heaving at this point.
"the food's gonna burn," you half-heartedly warn, mercilessly continuing your pace.
"well, it just might 'cause i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
there's a clattering noise when the pan is pushed back and off the heat, the spatula dropping onto the counter as jaemin pulls your hand and his from his pants.
he quickly flips off the stove and turns to you, hands wrapping around your thighs to pick you up, situating you on the empty kitchen island.
“breakfast can wait.” he mumbles, then captures your mouth in a kiss.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ zhong chenle
“chenle.”
“the game’s almost over,”
“chenle!”
“there’s 10 minutes left!”
“you’re watching highlights! you can literally watch those whenever!”
“now is also whenever!” he cleverly retorts.
okay, think. that’s the third video he’s watched in a row, the third time he’s fed you the same explanation and promised that this highlight video would be the last.
so, think: how can you get him off his stupid phone?
“you wanna watch your highlights? okay,” you shrug, sitting beside him on the couch.
“okay?” he asks, as if your previous statement is entirely foreign to him, and truthfully, it is. you had never given up so easily before. in fact, chenle had grown to love the banter. half of the time, the only reason he really insists on watching his highlight clips for so long is because he loves to watch you yearn for his attention.
“yep.”
“i’ll be done after this one,” he reminds you, watching closely for your reaction.
you nod nonchalantly, “right.” and give him a forced smile.
you give him a few seconds to get back into the video before you bring your hand over to his thigh. as expected, he doesn’t say anything, continuing his act in hopes that you’ll go back to urging him to shut the video off.
but this time, unlike the others, you remain just as stoic, sneakily inching closer and closer. it’s only a matter of time before he catches on, so you reach over in one motion and undo the button of his pants, putting your hand inside.
oh. so that’s your play?
you catch onto the way his eyes widen for a fleeting moment, but he’s quick to cover it up.
gently, you rub him, leaning in to leave kisses on his cheek, the kind that are so light and soft that they invite goosebumps to spread through his neck and arms.
he resists all urges to shudder or succumb to your touch; instead, he opts for taking his bottom lip between his teeth, a last measure to remain sane as you pleasure him. he can’t care less about the highlights anymore, but he’s stubborn and refuses to lose, so his eyes stay locked on the screen although his thoughts are entirely elsewhere.
you’re supposed to beg for him, not the other way around.
but that’s easier said than done, especially when you’re palming him, pre-cum leaking from his tip as his mind wanders off the game, clinging to everything that is you.
chenle squeezes his eyes shut for a second.
“what’s the matter?”
“nothing.” he says through gritted teeth.
you keep toying with him, bringing your other hand to the button of your own shorts. at this, chenle’s eyes snap over and he mentally curses, blowing air through his nostrils harshly.
his fingers are turning white from the way he’s gripping his phone with so much force. every stroke of your hand is wearing him down, bringing him closer to his climax, but he doesn’t want to finish yet, not before he’s been inside of you.
“chenle, baby, you’re not even watching-“
“yeah, i know, that’s because i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ park jisung
“and then, if you press these buttons, your attack upgrades and deals more damage…”
if you’re being honest, everything jisung has said about his new switch game, which he’s explaining to you with so much interest and passion, is going in one ear and out the other.
it’s not that you don’t care, you do! you’re more than happy to sit and listen to him go on about something he’s excited about, but you simply don’t know what’s gotten into you today.
all you can seem to focus on is him.
his lips are plump, looking softer and more kissable than ever, and you think you may pass out when his tongue darts out to wet them. now, they’re glossed over, just like his pretty brown eyes that reflect the video game screen from the console resting on his chest.
your leg lies across his body, unable to keep still with the ache starting to flourish at your core. you’re practically grinding on his thigh and he’s oblivious as ever.
the fingers that hug his waist have now developed a mind of their own: they dance over his stomach and travel south until they make their way under jisung’s waistband.
“what-“ he clears his throat to cover the way his voice cracks, “what are you doing?”
“what are you talking about?”
all of his muscles tense up, “with your, uhm, hand?”
“oh,” you feign surprise, batting your eyes with innocence as if there could be no another reason your hand was holding his crotch, “it’s warm, my fingers were getting cold,”
he nods rather awkwardly, mumbling something that implies he understands and tries to continue with his explanation.
key word: tries.
his speech is a mess and a nervous sweat has broken out on his forehead. he’s even begun to explain things about the game wrong, spewing out nervous laughs in between weak apologies.
as hard as he’s trying to keep his act together, there’s one thing that blatantly gives him away. under your hand, you can feel him getting hard, and he knew it, too.
the entire time he’s talking, he’s growing harder and harder in your palm and you just cant resist moving a bit.
“aah, that feels-“
“so, what does that character do, again?”
jisung blinks at you with wide eyes, an look of disbelief on his face. after a pause, he answers you quietly.
“they—mmh, they shoot these uhm-“
you nod teasingly, “uh-huh?”
“these fireballs that-“ defeated, he groans out, “baby…”
“woah, fireballs?!”
“baby, i’ll tell you about the game later. right now, i-“ he sets the switch aside and you pout in false disappointment.
“what? why?”
"because—i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
3K notes · View notes
luvvsim · 10 days
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love affair.
⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆
you return home for the summer, relieved to be away from university stress. you notice a handsome new neighbour moving in across the street, lee heeseung, moving in with his daughter, sumi. of course- you can only assume heeseung is married and avoid your growing attraction, spending your whole summer lusting over someone you have the hots for- not ideal.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ lee heeseung x fem reader ⊹ ࣪ ˖
warnings | lowercase intended, age gap (21 and 27), 18+, smut, smut, smut!! (18+ only.) mdni please!! idk if I’ll write 18+ content again bc it was so so hard to do, not edited^^
thank u sm for all the support on this, it means so much to me!! if u liked this pls consider checking out my other works:)) <3
3.9k
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the summer sun casted a warm glow over the suburban neighborhood as you pulled into your parents' driveway, the familiar sight bringing a sense of comfort and nostalgia. it was good to be home after a long, tiresome, hair-pulling semester at university.
you step out of your car and stretched out your limbs, relishing the feeling of being free from academic stress, and gross frat boys for at least for a few months.
as you grabbed your filled to the brim bags from the trunk, you notice a moving truck parked across the street. curiously, you found yourself glancing over and saw a tall, handsome man with big eyes, kinda resembling a deer, you think, directing the movers. he was absolutely striking, with dark hair that fell effortlessly across his forehead and a smile that seemed to light up his whole face. you couldn't help but stare, feeling your heart skipping a beat, he was probably one of the most attractive men you have seen in your 21 years of living.
"hey, y/n!" your mother called from the front door, breaking her reverie. "welcome home honey!"
"hi, mom!" you replied, tearing your gaze away from the new neighbor. you walked up the path, your mind still lingering on the man across the street.
inside, the familiar scent of your mother's cooking filled the air. you let out a relieved sigh as you quickly plopped your bags in the hallway and hugged her mother tightly as she let out a surprised gasp.
"it's so good to have you home," your mother said, beaming. "i've missed my little princess so much."
"i've missed you too mom," y/n replied, though still spaced out with thoughts still wandering to the man across the street, you hadn’t seen him around your small suburban area at all, if you had you know for a fact you would’ve remembered..
that evening, as you sat on the porch with your mom and dad catching up, you saw the man again. this time, he was accompanied by a little girl, who couldn't have been more than six years old. the girl was absolutely adorable, with a head full of curly hair and pigtails with a bright, infectious smile. y/n watched as the man scooped her up and spun her around,booping his nose with hers as her laughter echoing through the neighborhood.
"that's lee heeseung," your mother says, noticing your focused gaze. "he just moved in across the street. seems like a young nice man."
your mom says throwing you a knowing glance, with makes you roll your eyes in a playful annoyed manor.
the sight was a bit disappointing, don’t get me wrong- the little girl and her father just looked absolutely adorable, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little sad the man was taken with a family, and you were definitely not about to thirst over a married man that lives right across the road with a family.
you nodded at your mother’s words after a long pause, unable to take your eyes off him, though you felt a little guilt. there was something about heeseung that intrigued you, a magnetic force towards him that you couldn't quite explain as you’ve never felt anything like this before.
“y/n, are you listening?” your dad says snapping you out of your thoughts.
you sigh as you block heeseung out of your mind.
“yup.”
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over the next few days, you found yourself watching heeseung and his daughter, sumi, from a distance. they seemed to have a very close bond, and you often saw them playing on their trampoline in their yard or walking hand-in-hand down the street to go get ice cream from the neighbourhoods convenience store. despite your curiosity, you felt a pang of guilt each and every time you looked their way. heeseung must be married, you reasoned with yourself. a man that handsome and good looking, with a beautiful replica daughter, surely had to have a stunning wife.
"good morning, neighbour.”
on one summer morning, as you were watering the plants in your front yard, as your mother had ordered and the sun shining on your bare back, probably leaving tan lines on your tank top straps, you heard a voice behind you. you felt goosebumps crawling up on your skin as you heard that familiar soft tone.
you turned to see heeseung standing at the edge of your driveway, a charming smile on his face. up close, he was even more attractive, with warm brown eyes and a chiseled jawline.
you stared him down like a hungry beast, but hey- it wasn’t your fault he decided to walk around in just a pair of sweatpants.
he had also been studying you for a while, his eyes stopping at your exposed neck as your hair had been tied back.
"good morning," you replied feeling extremely flustered, trying to keep your voice steady as it could possibly be.
"i'm lee heeseung," he said, extending a hand. "just moved in across the street."
you stared at his hand, it had looked very big compared to yours as he held it in his palm as you shook hands, the veins in his muscular hands bulging out making you want to scream, god- you were going absolutely crazy over a married man and it was not good.
"y/n," you replied, shaking his hand. his grip was firm, and you felt a jolt of electricity at his touch. "welcome to the neighbourhood heeseung!." you say in the cheeriest tone you can muster up- and you pray he doesn’t hear the nervousness in your voice.
"thanks," heeseung said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "i see you've noticed my little doppelgänger, sumi. she keeps me on my toes."
you laughed in complete and utter embarrassment. could this possibly get any worse? you think, there was no way in hell he had seen you basically watching him and sumi play everyday he had been here so far.
"she's adorable. you two seem very close, she’s too cute to not pay attention to!” you say trying to cover up your tracks.
"we are super close," heeseung replied, a hint of sadness flickering into his glossy bambi eyes. "it's just us two nowadays."
your heart ached at his words, and you felt a surge of empathy for him. "i'm sorry," you said softly.
it couldn’t have been easy, having an absent wife, you thought.
heeseung smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "it's okay. we're doing fine."
“well i hope you guys make up-“ before you can finish your sentence, you get cut off by the sound of sumi calling for her dad.
“sorry y/n, i’ll see you around! duty calls.”
he says before saluting you with a gentle smile which made your heart thump, leaving you with a warm feeling growing in your chest.
as the summer days flashed by, days turned into weeks, your and heeseung's paths crossed quite frequently. you exchanged pleasantries and shared small talk, each encounter laced with an undercurrent of tension that was almost impossible for you to ignore. you found herself drawn to him, your thoughts consumed by his smile, his laughter, and the way he interacted with sumi, so affectionate and loving.
despite your growing attraction, you kept your distance. you couldn't shake the feeling that your feelings for heeseung were wrong, given that he was likely married. you saw no sign of a woman around the house, but you had assumed his wife must be at work or away due to a fight, assuming heeseung’s last words about her.
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one warm evening, as you sat onto your porch, lost in deep thought, heeseung approached you quietly. his expression was serious, and your heart began to race with nervousness and confusion, why was he here?
"y/n, can we talk?" he asked, his voice low and hesitant.
"sure," you replied, almost whispering. your mind racing with possibilities. has he had enough of your staring? or even worse- you’re making sumi uncomfortable-
you snap out of your thoughts as heeseung clears his throat, trying to gain your full attention.
heeseung sat down beside you, his gaze intense making you shiver in anticipation. "i've noticed you've been avoiding me," he said. "did i do something wrong?" he says with a hurt expression.
your heart sank. you hadn't meant to make him feel that way. "no, heeseung, it's not that. it's just.. nothing that concerns you.”
“it concerns me if you’re avoiding me y/n." heeseung asked, his eyes searching yours with furrowed brows.
you took a deep breath, deciding to be honest. "i feel something towards you, heeseung. i can’t help it even though i tried. but i know you're married, and i don't want to cause any more trouble for you and your wife- so please just forget about this." you ended with a pleading, embarrassed self.
heeseung's eyes widened in surprise, and then after 1 whole minute of silence, he burst out laughing. your cheeks burned with embarrassment, this is exactly what you were afraid of. what’s the worst that can happen people say? this.
heeseung notices your quiet demeanour and quiets himself down still smiling brightly. "married? i'm not married, y/n," heeseung said, still chuckling. "sumi's mother and i separated a long time ago. it's just me and sumi now."
your eyes widened in shook, your heart soared at his words, but you still felt a twinge of doubt. he has a daughter, and you’re a stranger. there’s no future for you two at all.
"but i see how happy you and sumi are. i don't want to get in the way of that, heeseung."
heeseung's expression softened, and he reached out to take her hand. "y/n, you could never get in the way. in fact, i'd love for you to be a part of our lives, haven’t you seen the way i’d been looking at you and talking to you the first few weeks we were here?”
a flustered smile fell on your face as you looked into heeseung's earnest gaze. "i was so afraid my feelings were wrong," you whispered.
"they're not wrong," heeseung said, his voice low and an unfamiliar tone. "i feel the same way about you, y/n. i've been drawn to you from the moment we met, and it took me this long to realize but i’m here now.”
your heart pounded in her chest as heeseung leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a heated-passion filled kiss. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, their connection deepening with each passing second.
with the misunderstanding was finally cleared, your relationship with heeseung blossomed. you spent more time together, your bond growing stronger with each shared moment. heeseung's teasing nature and quick wit kept you on your toes, while your warmth and compassion brought more light into his life.
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one bright afternoon, you found yourself at heeseung's house, helping him unpack the last of the moving boxes. sumi was playing in the backyard, her laughter a joyful melody in the background as you and heeseung shared kisses and hugs.
"thanks for helping me with this," heeseung said, wrapping his hands around your waist, his eyes sparkling with gratitude. "i don't know what i would have done without you."
you gave heeseung a warm smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "it's my pleasure hee. besides, it gives me an excuse to spend more time with you." you say wiggling your eyebrows.
heeseung grinned, his teasing tone returning. "oh, so you need an excuse now?"
your eyes rolled playfully. "you know what i mean."
as you both worked, the air between them was charged with an undeniable tension. every brush of your hands, every shared glance, seemed to ignite a spark that neither of you could ignore.
finally, as you finished unpacking, heeseung turned to you, his expression serious. "y/n, there's something i've been wanting to tell you."
you frowned at the serious tone and put your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
"what is it?"
heeseung took a deep breath, his gaze intense. "i haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time, ever since sumi’s mom left me, i’ve felt emotionally unavailable but then you- you make me feel alive, y/n. i want to be with you, and i want you to be a part of sumi's life too."
you felt tears brimming into your eyes as you reached out to cup his face in your hands. "i feel the same way, heeseung. i want to be with you, too."
your lips met in a passionate kiss, the world around them fading into the background. it was a kiss filled with promise and hope, a declaration for your shared future together.
you both quickly separated as you heard sumi’s little foot steps running inside. “daddy, can i please go over to yunah’s house for a bit! she has the new little mermaid movie on her tv!”
heeseung chuckled and pat her head, “go ahead baby, but i’m coming in 2 hours to get you okay?”
sumi squeaked excitedly as she hugged you and heeseung goodbye before running back to her friend.
“we should organize some more hee,” you say turning your back over to him as you felt something in the air shift.
you knew he was watching you, taking in your curve as the sundress you picked this morning just for heeseung hugged you body. the silence hung heavy between you as the air grew thick with anticipation.
heeseung approached you, his footsteps soft against the hardwood floor. your heart raced as he stopped just behind you, his presence filling the space between them with electric energy.
you felt his hands gentle on your waist, his touch sending a jolt through your body. he pulled you slowly towards him, your back pressing against his chest as he rested his chin on your shoulder.
"you have no idea how long i've wanted this," he whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear.
you visibly shuddered at his words, a tingling sensation spreading between your thighs. you knew the tension had been building for the both of you, and tonight you were done pretending it wasn’t there and ready to explore what had been simmering below the surface.
you turned your head slightly, your lips brushing his earlobe as you whispered back, "then take what you want, hee." it was an invitation, a challenge, and a surrender all at once.
heeseung's hands tightened on your waist, his fingers digging slightly into your soft flesh. he spun you around to face him, both your bodies now flush against each other. his eyes searched yours, a question hanging in the air, to which you responded by rising on your toes and capturing his plump lips with yours.
the kiss was fiery and passionate, your mouths moving urgently against each other. you could taste the sweetness of his strawberry flavoured chapstick you gifted him as your tongues danced together. you moaned into his mouth as you felt his hands moving down your body, cupping her ass and pulling you tightly against his growing boner.
breaking the kiss, heeseung trailed hot, wet kisses along your jawline and down your neck. "you have no idea how many times i've thought about doing this," he murmured, nipping at the sensitive skin of your shoulder. you let out a soft giggle, a mix of nervousness and excitement bubbling up within you.
"then show me," you challenged, your eyes sparkling with desire.
heeseung's responded by lifting you up and sitting you on the kitchen counter. he stood between your legs, your bodies still pressed intimately together. his hands found the hem of your dress and slowly began to slide it upward, his eyes never leaving yours.
“you wore this for me huh?” he says looking at you with his lust filled gaze as you shyly nodded.
“god- you’re so perfect-“ heeseung kisses you softly.
you raised your arms, allowing him to lift the dress over your head, leaving you bare before him except for a lace thong. his eyes devoured you, taking in the swell of your breasts, the beauty marks on your body, and the curves of your hips.
"you're so beautiful," he breathed, his voice hoarse with desire.
you smiled, feeling confident and powerful under his intense gaze. "touch me," you commanded, your voice low and desperate for anything at this point.
heeseung needed no further encouragement. his hands found your breasts, palms brushing against the sensitive peaks as his thumbs gently massaged the soft flesh. you arched your back, a soft moan escaping your lips as pleasure began to coil within you.
his hands continued their exploration, tracing a path down your body until they reached the thin strip of lace hiding your most intimate place. he hooked his fingers into the fabric, slowly pulling it down your legs, his eyes fixed on the treasure that was now revealed to him.
you felt your breath quicken as you felt the cool air against your wet center. you watched as heeseung's fingers gently parted your folds, his eyes darkening with desire as he saw the proof of your arousal. he leaned forward, his tongue snaking out to taste you, and moaned as your flavors exploded on his taste buds.
he ate you out slowly, his tongue tracing lazy patterns on your clit as he savored your sweetness. you gripped his shoulders, your head falling back as waves of pleasure crashed over you. you could feel your orgasm building, a coil of tension in your lower belly, and you knew you were close.
heeseung sensed it too, his tongue flicking faster, his breath hot against your sensitive bud. you cried out, your body shaking as the orgasm ripped through you, leaving you boneless and sated.
but heeseung wasn't done. he stood, removing his shirt and kicking off his shoes. you watched, your breath catching in your throat as he unbuckled his belt, sliding his pants and boxers down his legs, freeing his hard dick.
he returned to stand between your legs, his length pressing against her wet center. you whimpered, needing him inside you. heeseung teased you with a smirk on his face, rubbing his tip up and down your slit, collecting your juices, before slowly pushing inside.
you gasped at the sensation of being stretched and filled. heeseung paused,
“are you good, i can pull out if you-“
“no-no, please just move” you whisper against his lips as he leans down to kiss you.
allowing you a moment to adjust to his size, he starts beginning to move as he clasps his hands with yours. he thrust slowly at first, building a steady rhythm as he pushed in and out of you throwing his head back.
your eyes locked, each lost in the pleasure of the other. you met his thrusts, your hips rising to greet each drive, your bodies moving in perfect harmony. you could feel the same tension building in you as you clawed at his back, heeseung's thrusts became much more harder and faster as you let out squeaks.
"cum for me," he groaned, his voice hoarse as his hands gripped your hips tightly.
you cried out as the orgasm swept through you, your body shaking uncontrollably as she clenched around him. heeseung thrust a few more times before grunting, his release spurting hotly inside you.”
as both your breathing slowed, heeseung leaned forward, pressing soft kisses to your sweat-slicked forehead. "that was..." he started, searching for words.
"incredible," you finished, a lazy smile on your face as you cuddled him closer.
heeseung chuckled, a satisfied smile on his lips. "i think we can safely say we've moved past the tension."
you laughed, snuggling closer to him.
"definitely. but i have a feeling this is just the beginning."
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despite your growing love, you and heeseung faced a problem that troubled your relationship. sumi, though fond of you, struggled with the idea of her father being with someone new. it took time and patience, but gradually, sumi began to warm up to the idea of you being a part of their family.
one evening, as you and heeseung sat together on the porch, heeseung wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close. "i know it's been a bit tough," he said softly. "but i can't imagine my life without you now."
you smiled at his words, resting your head on his shoulder. "we'll get through it together. as long as we're honest with each other, we can handle anything."
your bond with heeseung grew stronger with each passing day, your love deepening as you navigated the ups and downs of your relationship. you faced misunderstandings and doubts, but your commitment to each other never wavered.
as the summer came to an end, you found yourself so deeply in love with heeseung.
the fact you had to be gone for another year before you could settle down back with heeseung broke your heart.
“hey, you okay?” heeseung said breaking you out of your thoughts, wrapping his arms around your body staring at you from the mirror.
you found your eyes welling up with tears as heeseung frowned, he left soft gentle kisses on your neck trying to make you laugh.
“i’m okay hee.. just gonna miss you and sumi” you say softly as heeseung feels butterflies in his stomach.
he couldn’t believe he found you, somebody so loving and caring, and yet you still loved him even after learning he has a daughter.
he knows it’s a lot, especially for a 21 year old university student. but he knows you try your best, and that’s all he needs.
“we’re gonna be okay, you’ll be back in 6 months and we can be together again, okay?”
you turn around and nudge your nose against heeseung’s as he lets out a soft laugh.
“we’ll be okay.”
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@luvvsim
777 notes · View notes
thegnomelord · 22 days
Note
me very patiently waiting for that mothussy :3
oh and here’s another wittle thing i thought…i tend to hc price as a bear hybrid or other so i think he would go into hibernations,, since hes still on duty he wouldnt go into a long-term one like other bears, but simply sleep a LOT of the day…i would wanna cuddle big bear price so bad awaawaewfgwh 🥺 hes really hairy but instead of it being coarse hair, its more fluffy cause its the winter!! so his facial hair puffs up a bit…and his chest hair…and the happy trail…you get the idea :3 idk i just like bear price i want him to pound me into the mattress and suck my cock until it falls off hug me!!
-❀
Give me like a couple more days lol, I got ghost and soap more or less done in a rough draft format, just need to write out price and gaz then a quick rewrite to clean up the draft. Cause rn all mini drafts are about 1k and very rough so when I clean it up they're probs gonna be bumped up to like 2k? Just knowing me and how my drafts end up doubling in size lol.
Also duuude you are a treasure trove of ideas lol. I want bear price now and now I'm horny so here's a bunch of bear price
Help a Bear Out
CW:NSFW, MDNI, daddy kink, dom/sub, oral, somno, edging, foodplay, cockwarming. Bear Price x Top Male reader Ao3
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Imagine Bear Price who is by no means a small man any time of the year, bear genetics + having to be physically fit to take down terrorists leads to him having a very strong and imposing build befitting a Kodiak bear. The fur only adds to the striking image, making him look larger and his arms appear thicker, letting him scare many young boars from trying to tussle with him lest he crack their skulls.
But he turns massive in winter.
He can't help it; There's no escaping the iron clad control nature has over his body as his dark fur thickens and gains a fluffy golden color. No evading the instinct telling him to eat and rest and grow fat for winter until his hard earned muscles disappear beneath the cloak of fat. No ignoring sweet lull of sleep's song when he's yawning every five minutes and the words on the report swim in his blurry eyes.
Imagine Bear Price who, in his younger days, used to be self conscious about the changes his body went through. Growing up surrounded by humans was tough, dread would start building in his heart the moment the first leaf from the trees would fall. He's lost count how many times the kids would laugh at him when he'd show up to school after winter break with a chubby face and barely able to run a lap with how tired he was.
As he grew and started being curious about sex, it only got worse. He'd snatch the porn mags his sisters would buy behind their parents back, spending hours looking in the mirror and comparing his pudgy belly and fat thighs to the chiseled abs and lean muscles of the models. He'd spend hours exercising and trying to loose the weight he'd gain, but it would be all for naught.
And it didn't stop when he graduated and went into the military. His superiors may have tolerated the extra sleep and rations Price needed because he was a monster on the field, but they by no means were happy about it. He'd end up with thrice the amount of work and run ragged in training until he returned to his pre-winter weight.
Imagine Bear Price who doesn't give a shit about how he looks like now. Why would he, when he sees how you look at him? How you touch him? How you worship him?
Your hands wind around his waist and the groan you let out when you realize the space between your fingertips has gotten bigger is hungry. Your face burrows into his chest, his soft fluffy fur tickling your face as you nuzzle his pecks. The way his pudgy belly and love handles jiggle under your wandering hands makes you wish you had more arms so you could feel every part of him.
A content growl rumbles from the bottom of his chest, eyelids open just enough to watch you. "My boy's forgotten his manners." He chuckles, but there's no way to hide the wagging of his little bear tail. The reverent way you touch him makes him feel like a king.
"Sorry sir." There's absolutely no shame in your voice or your actions, not when your mind is held captive by the soft fluffy fur and the warmth of his skin. Without thinking you slide your hands up to grope his chest and you groan — the squishy fat covering his muscles and makes his pecs so large they don't fit in your hands anymore, fat plumping up between your fingers and his flesh jiggling as you press his pecs against your head and motorboat him.
The surprised laugh you earn is like ambrosia to sweeten the heaven you're drowning in.
Imagine Bear Price who gets so sleepy as the nights get longer and colder. While he still gets the work done, and for the most part doesn't mind the 'old man' jokes his boys make, it's obvious how irritated he gets when he's forced to stay awake longer than he needs to; each extra second spent explaining to a muppet how to do his job makes his eyes darker and voice rougher until he's passively growling like a construction engine.
Luckily you're there to calm down the beast.
Groping his ass or scratching the base of his tail to distract him so you can kiss along his jaw and rub your cheek against his beard. "You're doing it again sir." You mutter, voice smooth and low enough to soothe his prickled mind. Kissing him sweet and slow so you can tug his lazy body back into his room, into his den, where you can give him what his mind and body craves the most — sweet sweet sleep. . . and you.
Imagine Bear Price who's chest rumbles with a purr without stopping the second you settle into his den, his clawed fingers sliding over and groping your naked skin with just as much love and adoration as you show him.
Wrapped in so many layers of blankets and furs, engulfed by his bulk and his own fur, you are so so warm that neither one of you need clothes. Price's favorite position is to hug you like a Teddy bear. Despite the irony, it lets him wrap his body around you so you're safe and protected, practically suffocating in his fur. Not that you mind, especially when Price can nuzzle his nose into your hair or skin, to breathe in your scent to his heart's content and purr low praises into your ear: "Good boy,"
And, if you're especially good, he lets you use his ass as a pillow. He'll growl and grumble about not being able to scent you or hold you, but he'll soon be sleeping peacefully with you slumbering on his large ass.
Imagine Bear Price who, between the long stretches of sleep, get's horny. It's a natural reaction from sleeping next to his naked mate, wanting to feel you and hear your moans, but he doesn't have the energy to actually fuck. His lethargy turns the feeling of languid arousal into Hell.
Both of you try to initiate a couple of times; fumbling beneath the sheets, wandering hands roaming and groping as far as they can reach, his teeth nibbling on your neck and your hungry lips laying hickeys on his thick neck. Not wanting to undo the tangle of limbs you two end up grinding against each other, breathing the same air between kisses as sweet pleasure burns in your belies.
Then you stop just long enough to grab the lube, and Price's mind, still half way in lala land, only needs a couple of seconds of inaction to pull him back into deep sleep. By the time you return to him he's already snoring, limbs reaching out to grip you tightly and pull you close, but all thoughts of sex are forgotten.
And Price is so, so, angry with himself when he wakes up and realizes he left you high and dry again, shame eating away at his stomach because what kind of bear leaves his mate unsatisfied? The unworthy kind.
Imagine Bear Price who's mind is blown when you suggest cockwarming. Hibernation is about sleeping and relaxing, not strenuous sex, so the thought of being able to feel you while still fulfilling his body's need to rest? Oh it gets him hard.
It takes a while to figure out the perfect position, Price is too big and heavy to lay on top of you without crushing you, and his fingers earn to grip and hold you close so spooning him viable either.
Finally you end up with him laying on his back, legs spread with you laying on top of him and oh, it's perfect. You can feel him purr as you slide inside his blistering hot hole, his strong arms wrapping around you and claws scrapping along your spine. "That's my boy, perfect f' daddy." He mumbles through the fog of sleep, throwing one heavy leg over yours to keep you close.
You can't help the shudder that races down your spine, his musky earthy scent curling in your nose and making your cock throb inside him. You only stretching him long enough to be able to take you without tearing something, and Price relishes the slight sting of pain nibbling on his nerves when your cock hardens.
You don't try to fuck him, by the time you're fully settled inside him he's already snoozing. A slow roll of your hips and the resulting tightening of his hole is enough to sate your lust when it arises, enough to keep you half hard and stretching him out. His pecs make such a good pillow, thick fluffy fur and chest hair tickling your skin, the slow and calm beating of his heart lulling you to sleep before you know it.
Imagine Bear Price who gets an insatiable sweet tooth. There’s not a single secret stash in his room that doesn’t have his favorite bottle of honey in it. Hell, there’s more honey hidden in his room than cigars.
And his lazy mind decides to combine his hunger with honey with his hunger for you.
"Hold still for daddy, baby boy." Price mumbles against your abdomen, big hand gripping your hip to keep you still so not a drop of the honey he drizzles on your cock goes to waste. "Good." He purrs, wide tongue lolling out of his mouth to lap at your tip, claws massaging the skin beneath them.
He can spend hours laying between your legs, lazily lavishing your cock with attention while satisfying his craving for sweets. Whine and moan as much as you want, uselessly buck your hips as best you can against his unfair strength, nothing will make him rush — with his energy drained he'll spend meticulous minutes following every vein on your cock with his tongue before he even thinks of gently suckling on your tip. "Relax my boy, just enjoy this." He mutters, lips pressed against the sticky flesh of your shaft.
And when he does take you into his mouth, it's just as slow. His mouth hangs open so you can see your tip resting on his tongue before he laps at your slit, drool and honey running down his chin and sticking the strands of his beard together. When all the honey is in his stomach he just drizzles more, nibbling on your thighs or stomach to keep his mouth and mind occupied with you before starting the torturous process all over again.
The slow torturous pleasure is easy to endure just so you can see his eyes light up when you start leaking precum.
Imagine Bear Price absolutely loves loves loves the salty tang your cum adds to the sweet honey, the delicate combination of flavor dancing on tongue and only fueling his gluttonous mind to demand more.
The distinct taste is the only way to cut through the fog of lazy pleasure in his mind, turning him greedy. Price mumbles and growls incoherent words around your cock as he swallows you down to the root, swallowing around you and holding you down when you try to buck up. "My boy tastes so good." He mumbles as he rises up, nuzzling his cheek against your weeping tip, looking up at you with hungry blue eyes. "Just for daddy, yeah?"
"Ye-yes sir." You whimper through your clenched teeth, your head lolling back against the pillows when he swallows you whole again, your tip bumping against the back of his throat. "Just fo- fuck, fuck,- just for you." You don't know how he doesn't choke on you but you don't have the mental faculties to even think about that when your brains are leaking through your cock.
Price smiles around your cock, the purr rattling his chest and making his throat vibrate around you. "Smart boy," He praises after he pulls off, precum and honey swirling on his tongue as he takes the moment to savor the taste. He knows how close you are, he can feel the cum churning your balls when he rolls them in his rough palm. "You can give daddy a bit more, can't you?"
You honestly don't know how long you will last.
Imagine Bear Price who can get so insatiable he growls like a tractor when you try to weakly push him off your cock, so aroused that you think even the slightest gust of wind will make you pop.
Price bites your thigh enough to hurt and only his hand squeezing down on the base of your cock keeps you from cumming. "And where do you think you're going boy?" He demands, claws digging into your skin to pull your hips closer, little kitten licks of his tongue driving you to the brink of madness.
"S-Sir!" You moan before you can stop yourself, your hips twitching uselessly against his hands, thighs shaking. "'m sorry, I'm fuck, I'm so close." You whimper, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. Every nerve in your system is on fire, pleasure so strong it's turned to pain along your body.
Price huffs, but his tight hold lessens. "It's alright sweet boy," He hums, placing a sweet kiss on your cock head. "I know how you can make it up to daddy."
Imagine Bear Price who's only placated when you slide your cock back inside him. Your muscles ache from the strength it takes you to hoist his heavy legs over your shoulders and keep them there, but your rewarded with the tightening of his sweet hole, a pleased rumble leaving his throat.
“G-good boy-.” He growls, long claws scratching down your back as you pound into him. Your thrusts are slow but deep, making his toes curl every time you bottom out, tip scraping his prostate and making his cock spurt a dollop of precum with every thrust. “Fucking daddy so deep. I taught you well, yeah?”
"Yes, yes, yes!" You agree to everything he says without hearing any of his words, your body moving automatically to bully your dick into him. Every thrust is heaven and every second spent pulling out from his tight heat is hell, the sensitive veins of your cock scraping against his walls.
He moans when you manage to clip his prostate with your thrusts, one clawed hand sliding down to grip your hip hard enough to bruise. "Harder boy," He demands, rolling his hips to meet you half way, other hand raising up to scruff you. "You can go har-hm!- harder. . . don't you wan- fuck, want to make daddy feel good?"
Clenching your eyes shut you slam into him as hard as you can, feeling the fat widening his frame jiggle with every hard thrust. Without thinking Price pulls your head down to smother you in his pecs, soft fluffy fur tickling your face as the ample flesh suffocates you. The sweet scent of honey mixed with his musk erases any vestiges of sentient thought in your head, leaving your animal brain to pick up the pieces — Pin him down harder and mate him, rut into him until he's roaring with his full chest, his hard cock slapping against your stomach.
Price reacts to the change in your behavior by pressing your face even harder against his chest, his walls clenching around your cock like a vice so you have to try harder to push into him. Price’s lips brush against your ear, voice low and rumbly. “My boy, come in daddy.” He urges you on, both legs now tightly wound around your waist so you can only hump your aching cock into him. “Co-mh!- cum, cum in me son, you want to be good for daddy right?”
That's all it takes to drive you over the edge, mind going black like a piece of paper as your orgasm rocks through you with the intensity of lighting. The sensation of your hot cum spilling into his hole triggers his own orgasm and he cums with a thunderous roar, sticky seed shooting across your abdomen.
You collapse on top of him, his legs keeping your softening cock inside him, not that you have even a single functioning muscle to try to pull out. His big hand cradles your skull, honey flavored lips placing soothing kisses on your temple. "That's my boy." Price murmurs, his chest rumbling with a soft purr. "Did so well for me." He yawns, eyelids fluttering as that fog of lethargy settles over both of you. "Now rest," The order is spoken in the softest voice he's ever used, and it works like a horse tranquilizer on you.
As you drift off to sleep, you feel his hole clench around your soft cock, the cum inside him squelching as his body unconsciously tries to persuade yours into filling him up just a bit more.
It's gonna be a long winter.
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moonstruckme · 9 months
Note
could you do a poly!marauders with fem reader where reader doesn’t swear at all (or like REALLY rarely) and the boys are with her and something happens and she just starts cussing like a sailor and the boys are like O: ??where??did??that??come??from??
Thanks for requesting my love! This is not based at all on anything that's ever happened to me ofc (I've never cursed even once in my life and am a very attentive driver) but it was fun to write!!
cw: near-miss car accident
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 820 words
“I can’t believe you keep the seat so far back,” you say, squinting into the rear view mirror. 
“Right?” James backs you up from where he’s gently massaging Remus’ knee in the backseat. “Moony, your height is an injustice to us all.” 
Sirius smirks out the passenger window. “I don’t mind it.” 
You laugh, glancing into the mirror to assess Remus’ countenance. He’s usually the one to drive the four of you around, but he’d woken up this morning with his knee aching and none of you had wanted to chance him getting a cramp or tweaking a muscle while he had his foot on the gas. He claims the pain isn’t bad and the rest of you are playing along, but his promises do little to reassure you. Remus’ tolerance is crazy high from years of aches, pains, and injuries, so him saying it doesn’t hurt very much is like when Sirius says he’ll be over in five minutes; he probably believes it to be true, but everyone else knows better. 
Remus’ lips are twisted slightly upward at your bantering, though, and when you scan his face for signs of tension or discomfort you don’t find any. He starts to lean onto James’ shoulder, then shoots back up, eyes widening. 
Sirius’ sharp inhale has you whipping your attention back out the windshield, where another car is trying to butt into the small space between your car and the one in front.
“Fucking fuck!” You hit the brakes and slam the butt of your hand into the horn, letting it blare until the intruding car swerves back into their lane. If you’d hit them, it would have been Sirius’ side colliding with the driver’s door. Your blood pounds in your ears. “What the hell, jackass? Stay in your own fucking lane!” You start to pass them, and the driver hastily puts down his phone, avoiding your gaze. “Yeah, how about we stay off our goddamn phones while we’re on the road? Fucking dumbass.” 
You blow out a harsh breath, refocusing on the traffic around you now that the danger has passed. The car has gone completely silent. “Oh no, Remus, did it hurt your knee when I braked, honey? I’m so sorry.” 
A beat, and then Remus clears his throat. “Uh, no.”
The tension doesn’t break. You wouldn’t blame the boys if they were still in shock from your near-miss, but the quiet is a bit unnerving. You’re fighting the urge to look over at Sirius or glance at Remus and James in the rear view mirror, not wanting to take your eyes off the road again. 
You jump when James asks, “What just happened?” at the same time as Sirius shouts “Fucking yeah, baby!” and holds up his hand for you to high-five. 
You barely brush it with your fingertips, hesitant and a bit wary. “What?”
“Dove,” Remus says hoarsely, “I’ve never heard that kind of language from you.” 
“Oh.” Your ears burn. “Yeah, sorry.” 
Sirius makes a sound that’s half startlement, half something else. You chance a look his way, and he’s grinning at you, mouth hanging slightly open. You think those might be stars in his eyes. “Don’t fucking apologize,” he laughs, sounding downright giddy. “That was great! Fantastic! I didn’t know you had this side to you, gorgeous.”
You shrink a bit in your seat, but there’s nowhere to go. You know if you check your mirror, you’ll find two more pairs of eyes staring at you from the backseat. “I don’t usually…well, you guys haven’t been around me while I’m driving before.” 
James guffaws. Sirius has begun to shake with silent laughter beside you. “Do you mean to tell me this happens every time you drive?” James asks.
“Not every time,” you say defensively. “They spooked me.” 
“They spooked you?” Sirius hoots from beside you, and now you can hear even Remus’ quiet chuckling. “Baby, I didn’t know you knew half those words! If that’s what happens when you drive, I want you behind the wheel every time.” 
“Oi,” Remus objects, but there’s no offense to be found in his tone. “It’s not like I don’t cuss.” 
“No,” James replies, reaching up to squeeze at your shoulders playfully, “but with you it’s not usually such a performance. That was a spectacle!” 
“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised,” you say, but you’re giggling now too, worse when Sirius joins in on James’ teasing, pinching at your side. “You all curse like sailors, you were bound to rub off on me eventually.” 
“It’s not like you’re not allowed to curse, dovey,” Remus says. “It’s just that we weren’t expecting it from you.” 
“And what, you’re gonna act like it’s our fault?” Sirius scoffs, poking you in the ribs and grinning when you squirm away. “As if any of us would ever say ‘fucking fuck.’ That’s an amateur's work, gorgeous. Can’t blame us for that one.” 
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nickfowlerrr · 10 months
Text
i never thought you’d happen to me - 2
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part one / part three
pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader
warnings: 18+ only. smut, fluff, bit of angst. time travel via magic. dad!bucky and mom!reader. steve x nat. some morally dubious homemade porn viewing 💀. if i’m missing anything that should be tagged, please lmk!
words: 6.7k
notes: this idea came from a prompt post i saw not too long ago and coincidentally fell into some bingo spots for my @the-slumberparty bingo card. fair warning: this is so completely self indulgent and a little trope overload lol but i had such a good time working on it and it was fun to write so who really cares 😌 thank you in advance for reading and reblogging! as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated. please let me know what you think!
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Back at the house, your house, you wander around the living room as Bucky sits on the tablet in the kitchen, consumed by whatever it is he's looking through.
You stop at the large bookshelf that's screwed into the wall, the picture frames all around catching your attention.
You smile at the baby pictures of the twins, admiring their tiny faces as you and Bucky each hold one, looking down at them like they were the only things in the world that mattered. You note how close you are to Bucky in the photo, practically in his lap as you lean into him.
Your eyes drift down the case before landing on a gorgeous shot, breathtaking, really.
You're in white, the elegant dress you don seemingly straight out of your dreams as you recline into Bucky who stands behind you, his arms around your waist as your hands cover his. You're smiling as he appears to be whispering something in your ear, a smile of his own evident as he does.
It's intimate and delicate and it seizes your heart as you can't seem to take your eyes off of it.
Your mind can't seem to make sense of it, though.
How do you get from here to there? How can you ever have this life? It seems so unreal.
Bucky can’t stand you more than half the time,  he's made that fact abundantly clear. So how the hell does he go from that to this? What changes? Why?
The sound of your name being called gets your attention as you wipe at your welling eyes. You hadn't noticed it happening, but you felt it when you finally blinked and looked away from the photo.
"Yeah?"
"My card is linked to this thing apparently, I was gonna order food."
"Okay," you breathe.
"What do you want?"
"I don't care. Whatever is fine," you brush off as you finally turn around and meet his eye. "I'm gonna shower."
He doesn't respond, but he doesn't take his eyes off of you either, watching you intently as you pass him and walk back to the room.
----
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. The car ride back to the house seemed longer without the twins there to distract you from your close proximity to Bucky. And being alone together once you finally got back, despite the huge space allotted to you in this house, still seemed stifling. There was a growing tension between you that was more than ready to break.
You weren’t unfamiliar with the feeling. 
It seemed to be ever present when you two were around each other and only intensified the longer you were alone with one another. 
As you began undressing, starting the water for your shower, your mind wandered to the last time you found yourself in such close quarters with him. 
You were both beyond exhausted when you’d gotten back to the tower after your mission. It hadn’t gone as smoothly as anyone would have hoped, but you got the job done, if not just a little worse for wear. 
You were leaning against the right side of the elevator, facing the door as Bucky stood closer to the left side, facing the same direction as you. It was quiet, and though your body was sore beyond belief, you mentally chided yourself for not just taking the stairs. You’d just finished giving him a piece of your mind after he made yet another unhelpful comment about how you could have easily avoided being flung down a flight of stairs earlier. 
Crazy as it might have seemed, receiving a play by play of every tiny misstep you’d taken after a mission as grueling as that one didn’t go over too well with you. Especially as you stood with bandaged ribs, miscellaneous cuts, bumps, and bruises all over your body, and what you were sure was a concussion causing the throbbing in your head. 
You closed your eyes as you let your head rest against the wall, one hand on the rail and the other holding your duffel. 
A sudden jerking had your eyes snapping open as you held tighter to the railing to keep your balance, the light above shutting off briefly before a dimmer one returned as the elevator completely stopped moving.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you groused under your breath before sinking down to the floor in utter exhaustion. The elevator had been on the fritz since before you had even left for the mission last week, you assumed they would’ve gotten it fixed by the time you returned. Clearly you were wrong.
You watched as Bucky hit random buttons on the panel in front of him in a vain attempt to get the thing to move again. You wanted to say something snarky but just sighed exaggeratedly instead. After a moment, still no words spoken between either of you, Bucky took out his emergency phone and called for help.
You didn’t pay much attention to his conversation as the pressure in your head grew, but his next words caught your attention completely. 
“What the hell do you mean an hour?” he nearly growled into the phone. 
You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation well but there were only so many people he could have called at this hour that would be able to help and the snicker that made its way through the line had you betting on Stark.
He hung up and chanced a glance to you, meeting your gaze. “Might be a while,” he huffed before looking away. 
He approached the doors of the elevator and you winced at the sound they emitted as he pulled them open slightly. He was greeted by nothing but the walls of the elevator shaft before he allowed the doors to close again. You watched as he checked the time on his phone before he sat down himself. You let your eyes shut again, your tiredness winning out in the quiet settling over you. It was maybe ten minutes later when you were rudely awoken by Bucky.
You were impressed with his bravery because you could still feel your irritation roiling off of you from your earlier exchange. Your eyes were still closed when you felt his fingers brush against the bruise on your jaw. 
“What?” you asked harshly, swatting his hand away from you as you shot daggers at him with your glare.
“Considering how often you find yourself in the med bay, you’d think you’d know the basics of what not to do when it comes to head trauma.” 
“Jesus Christ, you just never fucking stop, do you,” you huffed before snapping completely. “I get it, Bucky, okay? I’m a fuck up, I’m reckless and careless and I don’t think before I act, is that what you wanna hear? Are you happy now? I admit it! I’m everything you say I am. But at the end of the day, I have never put you or anyone else in harm’s way. And just a reminder, I got the files and took out everyone I needed to along the way by myself. So I don’t know, maybe give me a little fucking credit for once,” you raged, the pain in your body only adding to your anger.
“This isn’t about me or the mission getting done or anyone else,” he fired back, his tone catching you off guard, though you refused to show it, “I’m never worried about any of that. But you are careless. Look at you! You put yourself in needless danger over and over again, and yeah, it pisses me off. You always end up hurt when you never should have been in the position to get hurt to begin with. You think I enjoy seeing you like this? I’m your partner, I’m the one who’s supposed to have your back and yet every assignment, you continue to go out of your way to make it damn near impossible for me to do.”
“Your job isn’t to keep me from getting hurt,” you deflected, not wanting to focus on the way his words were making you feel as you flicked your eyes away from his burning blue ones. It was too confusing. A mix of care and chastation you were having trouble processing at once. 
“And yours isn’t to get killed in some pathetic attempt to prove yourself,” he shot back before his tone quieted significantly. “You have nothing to prove,” he finished. 
Your gaze softened at that, a sense of embarrassment coming over you at how clearly he saw through you; The simultaneous feeling of validation his last words offered had the previous tension you felt in your anger lightening before you let your eyes slowly return to his.
There was a thick silence between you as you looked at one another, nothing but your slowing breaths to be heard. His gaze wasn’t as harsh now, but it still took a lot out of you to hold it. The intensity his eyes held was unmatched. You hadn’t realized before, how much closer he had gotten to you, but it was evident now as you nearly felt yourself buzzing - suddenly all too aware of everything in the confined void you’d found yourselves in. 
And then, you couldn’t say why or how, but you found your eyes falling to his lips. A stuttered breath leaving you as inadvertently leaned in a bit closer to him. 
That wasn’t you, though, you’d realized after a split second, one hand reaching up to hold the rail. 
The elevator jolted a bit as it began to move again, only a few seconds passing before the ding signaling its arrival at the top floor sounded. You were still looking at one another, maybe more intensely than you’d realized, when the doors slid open.
“Uh-oh, did I interrupt something? Let me guess, lover’s quarrel?”
Your gaze quickly turned into a glare as you both turned to see Tony waiting at the doors for you.
You rolled your eyes and got up as quickly as you could, trying to hide your winces of pain as you did. 
“Fuck off,” you said as you brushed past him.
“Is that your catchphrase now?” he called after you, “Ya know, I like it, it suits you.”
You remember how embarrassed you were after that night, praying that Bucky hadn’t noticed where your eyes had drifted to, or if he did that he’d have the decency to pretend he hadn’t. You’d chalked it up to a moment of weakness. You weren’t stupid enough to expect him to return your (very well kept to yourself) feelings. You never expected anything out of him, and honestly you’d been trying to shake them yourself since you’d been partnered up. You avoided him for a good week straight after that night, and neither of you has brought it up since.
Even now, you could pretend all you wanted that those feelings didn’t exist, but deep down, you knew they were alive and well. And clearly, as you looked again at the picture of you and Bucky sitting on the bedside table, it wasn’t something you could believably go on denying much longer.
The shower helped. Kind of. You feel better physically, but your mind is still dead set on trying to figure out the future. You take your time drying off and getting into a clean pair of pajamas while Bucky waits in the kitchen.
He's scrolling through every app he can, trying to piece together his future as it stands. And if he's being honest, trying to figure out how the hell he was able to get you to stop hating him. How he was able to get you to fall in love with him..
He opens up the photo library, grinning as he sees photo after photo of the twins, and some family photos, pictures of you, pictures of him, intermingled in.
He backs out of the gallery and scrolls down mindlessly through the albums. His eyes land on the "Hidden" tab and he clicks on it without too much thought, his face unlocking it and granting him access.
His eyes go wide, his mouth goes dry at the images that liter the screen. 
He should close out, look away, something, but he doesn't. The scandalous photos grab him and he just can't. One icon in particular catches his eye and he clicks on it without thinking, the video playing instantly.
He watches the screen intently, hunching over the tablet as he holds it tightly in his hands. Sees himself leave from in front of the camera, his movement revealing you as you wait for him on your bed. You're peering up at him attentively as he approaches you before you spare a glance to the camera and then back to him. A soft smirk playing on your lips as he towers over you, causing you to look up further and further as you recline until you’re on your back. 
“Hi,” you simper breathily, earning a smirk from him in return.
“Hi,” he breathed, leaning ever closer.
He watches as you scoot back on the bed and he follows you, his hands tracing down your curves, fingers playing with the material of your lingerie before he drops his head and begins trailing kisses from the softness of your stomach, up your sternum and along your neck before finally your lips meet.
Bucky is completely enraptured in the scene playing out before his very eyes. He’s sitting here feeling jealous of himself as you run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to you before you bring a leg up around his hip, arching your body into his own.
It’s sensual at first but you both seem to grow impatient quickly as your kissing heats up and becomes more and more hungry. 
Finally, you slip a hand down and tug at the waistband of his boxers until he pulls away. 
Bucky can see your face perfectly, your eyes are dark as you push yourself up onto your forearms, watching him.
Instead of ridding himself of his boxers right away, he slowly, teasingly drags your silky underwear down your thick thighs as you watch him with heavy eyes, your legs spread just for him.
“Look at the camera,” he hears his own voice command.
Your eyes flick from him to the lens as Bucky swallows thickly, still completely unable to look anywhere but you. 
You gasp suddenly as he quickly buries his face between your thighs, your fingers tightening in his hair as your head lolls back some. Your soft moans begin tumbling past your lips as he focuses his attention solely on you, devoted and unrelenting as you mewl and writhe under his ministrations.
When a whimper of his name leaves you, it causes Bucky to shift in his seat, trying to ease the ache growing in his shorts as he watches you rock yourself against his face.
“Buck,” you moan, “please,” you whine with a tug of his hair. 
He watches as your toes curl, feet arching, and your entire body seems to tense around him, your eyes squeezing shut as your mouth hangs open until your legs quake and you let out a tight, shaky whimper on an exhale. You bite your knuckle in an attempt to keep yourself quiet while he continues working you through your orgasm. 
When he finally lets up and gives you a chance to collect yourself, he moves up your body, finding your lips as he kisses you again, leaving you even more breathless than you had been.
“It’s just you and me tonight, doll. Don’t hold back on me,” he kisses you again, his hands going around your back to undo your bra. “I’m gonna wanna hear you when I watch this back,” he smirks.
You're completely naked as Bucky stands before you, finally taking off his boxers. “Turn around for me,” he tells you. 
You do as he says, getting on all fours with him situated perfectly behind you. He angles you both so the camera has a better view. Bucky watches as he teases your entrance with his tip, over and over again as you whine and wiggle your ass in pure desperation for him.
He keeps the volume low as he lets the video play, he isn’t sure how much time passes as his eyes are glued to the screen, watching himself take you as you let him. He listens to how prettily you cry for him, to the salacious sounds of his cock driving into you over and over, the wet squelching mixing with the slapping of skin as he fucks you hard.
Bucky feels his cock twitching in his shorts as he watches you come for him before hearing himself groan deeply, moaning while he empties his load into your pretty cunt.
He watches the come down, sees himself running his hands along your skin, peppering kisses all over your body, before you roll over beneath him, pulling him down to you and kissing him desperately.
He is entirely unsure about the morality of this all, but he can't look away.
"Fuck, you're amazing," he breathes heavily as he pulls away from you just so. "Thank you, sweetheart," he grins lazily, stroking your cheek.
"Mmm,” you hum contentedly as you look up at him before continuing, “If anyone ever sees this, I'll kill you," you promise him with an 'I mean it' stare before pulling him back to you, crashing your lips together.
"No one'll see it, doll. I promise. For my eyes only," he says as he nuzzles into you. "You have no idea how much I miss you when I'm gone, baby."
"I think I have some idea," you respond, the sultry tone of your voice effortless as you wrap a leg around him.
It looks like you're about to go for another round, and the thirty minutes left in the video seem to confirm that thought, when Bucky hears the door of the bedroom finally opening.
He quickly closes out of the video, sliding the tablet away from himself before trying to hide and adjust his very obvious erection before you come in.
He clears his throat loudly, a bit awkwardly, as you enter the kitchen, earning a questioning brow from you as you walk toward the pizza box.
"You good?" you ask him as you grab a slice, not bothering with a plate.
He nods a bit too stiffly for your liking as you assess him. His cheeks are a little flush and he can't seem to look you in the eye.
"What did you do?" you question accusatorily.
"Nothing. I'm gonna shower now, if that's alright with you?" he questions haughtily.
You make a face at his tone, rolling your eyes as you turn around to grab a glass for water.
He doesn't mean for it to happen, but as you turn from him, his eyes fall to your ass, and he has to work to stop the groan that threatens to tumble from his lips as his mind replays the video for him.
Fucking creep, he chides himself as his cock twitches again. He takes the opportunity to stand and get to the bathroom as your back is to him.
---
You're on your third piece of pizza when Bucky returns to the kitchen, grabbing a slice for himself.
He's spent the last half hour going over in his mind exactly how you two could have possibly ended up here. He's still confused. And at his wit’s end.
Bucky speaks before he can think better of it.
"Why do you hate me?" he asks, seemingly out of the blue, causing you to turn toward him with quizzical eyes as you swallow your bite.
"Excuse me?" you ask in disbelief.
"Why do you hate me?" he repeats himself, his gaze never faltering as he holds your stare.
You're honestly dumbfounded.
You sputter for a second before attempting to form actual words. "I don't hate you, Bucky," you answer as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And seeing your future, you were pretty sure it must have been. "I mean, clearly," you add a little embarrassed for yourself.
"No? Then why do you act like you do?"
"I -,” you’re about to deny the accusation, but truthfully, you know he’s right. So you pause before giving the only answer you can come up with. “I don't know. Self-preservation?"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Defense mechanism. I mean, you've been a complete dick to me since day one, Bucky. Am I supposed to just let you ream me whenever you feel like it - justified or not. And for the record, most of the time, it's not. You treat me differently from everyone else, sidelining me over nothing, questioning my every move, and I don't know why but I stopped trying to figure it out a while ago," you spoke candidly.
He was quiet for a minute as he took in your words. You watched as his brows furrowed, his gaze dropping as he licked his lips mindlessly.
"I'm sorry," he finally said at last. It was soft, but sincere as a pained look seemed to have taken over his face. "I never meant to make you feel that way. But clearly I did. It's just.. you're so stubborn," he says with a shake of his head as his eyes meet yours once again. "I do treat you differently. Because, truthfully, you fucking terrify me. You can be reckless; you act like you're expendable, and you're not. You're the furthest thing from it. I just don't want to see you get hurt. And maybe I was too scared to actually voice that aloud before, but it is the truth. I don't know, I guess, I thought I was keeping you safe somehow, protecting you. And I know you don't need me to. I'm sorry. For being a dick, for interfering when I shouldn't have, and for not talking to you about things before. I am sorry."
You’re silent and quietly awed at his admission, swallowing hard before forcing yourself to break away from his brilliant blue gaze.
"Thank you," you accept, not knowing where to go from here. "Good to know you don't hate me," you add.
"Yeah, same here," he smiles softly. Another moment passes before you speak again, something unspoken growing between you.
"So, just to be clear, was that you admitting that...you like me?" you ask, hearing how juvenile you sound but not really caring all that much.
"That was me admitting that I care about you."
You take a breath and nod, "Oh, okay. So, you don't like me?"
"I didn't say that," he almost scoffs.
"So you do like me?" you ask again with a furrowed brow.
"Jesus, doll," he laughs lightly, "We're married."
"Not yet," you counter.
Bucky walks toward you, pizza long forgotten by you both as he suddenly gets to his knees before you while you stay seated in the chair, his face right about level to yours as you watch him with stilled breath.
His eyes are blazing a fiery blue as he holds your gaze. You have to blink at the intensity.
"I like you," he breathes quietly, careful not to break the soft air of intimacy as you stay so close to each other, earning a small smile from you in turn.
"I told Kate I had a crush on you during recruitment, that's why she always makes comments about us going on missions together so often," you admit unprompted, the urge to tell him the embarrassing secret you'd tried to keep hidden from the moment you let it slip to Kate just overcoming you.
Bucky smiles boyishly at that. "Steve was convinced from the beginning I had a thing for you, that's why we go out on missions together so often."
You can't fight the half smile that adorns your lips at his words, "Was he right?" you question. 
He nods.
"He was right," he whispers as he leans in closer to you. "Does our future not make that obvious?" he teases.
You don't think as you lean into him, one hand finding the back of his head and raking your fingers through the soft, dark brown strands as you breathe a bit heavier with anticipation, you watch as his eyes close at your touch, leaning ever closer. You’re sure he can hear the uptick of your heart as he meets your gaze once again, before your eyes flit to his lips. 
You shrug, a playful tilt to your lips.
"I can think of some other things that might make it more obvious," you murmur as you let your forehead press against his own, waiting for him to close the distance between your lips now.
His hand comes up to gently hold your face before he slowly brushes his lips against yours. 
It's soft and gentle as you kiss him again, but after a moment, one kiss turning into another and then another, your lips press harder against each other, hotter as it intensifies, your hand gripping his hair ever so slightly as he kisses you back just as hard before finally you force yourself to break away.
You shudder a breath as you part, catching your breath, but neither of you drop your hands.
Bucky's thumb gently strokes your cheek as you gaze into one another's eyes. So much unspoken, and yet so much being shared with the look alone.
The ringing of the tablet breaks you two up, though, as a FaceTime call pops up.
The contact is Natasha and seeing her name has you grabbing for the tablet and accepting the call right away.
"Hey," she greets as the sound of a movie playing in the background mingling with the giggles of children and fake cries for help from Steve can be heard just beyond her smoky voice.
"Hey, what's up? Did something happen?" you ask, hoping you don't sound as uncharacteristically panicked as you feel.
"That's what I was gonna ask you two. There a reason your daughter keeps twirling around shouting 'fucking dick' into the air every ten minutes?" She asks.
Your brows raise in surprise as your mouth parts open on nothing.
Bucky titters at the thought of that precious angel twirling around with a mouth like a sailor - a mouth like her mother. He smirks, answering for you.
"Yeah, that'd be thanks to her mother over here."
"Why am I not surprised," Nat responds.
"Sorry, she was mimicking me this morning and we didn't tell her to stop," you grimace. "Hey, can you put them on really quickly?"
"Yeah, that's actually the real reason I called. They wanted to say goodnight before they go to bed," she says as she walks into the living room.
"Linc, El, got some folks who wanna talk to you over here."
Your eyes light up as their perfect little faces fill the screen as Nat holds her phone for them.
When they register it's you and Bucky on screen, they smile brightly, calling out to you both.
"Hi, munchkins," you smile at the screen, Bucky right beside you.
"You guys getting ready for bed?" he asks.
"We're ready, Daddy! Just have to say goodnight to you and Mommy."
"Yeah we have to say goodnight so - and then we can sleep,"
You chuckle as Lincoln rubs his tired eyes.
"But I miss you Mommy," he pouts at the screen.
"'S okay, Linc," Ellie says as she takes her brother's hand, comforting him easily. You swear you're on the verge of tears as you smile at the sweetness.
"Sweetheart, I miss you, too. We miss both of you very much. But you guys are gonna have so much fun tomorrow! And we'll see you so soon, I promise. You two be good and listen to your Aunt and Uncle, okay? Oh, and Ellie,” her eyes widen as you say her name, looking attentively at your face on screen, “let's keep 'fucking dick' just an at home thing, alright?"
She giggles at your words but nods, "Okay, Mommy."
"Alright, goodnight you two," you say softly, not sure you’re ready to call it a night with them knowing what tomorrow is promised to bring.
"Goodnight, Mommy. I love you," they respond in unison.
"I love you more."
"Daddy's turn!" Linc calls for his father.
"Goodnight, Daddy," he says when Bucky leans further into the frame before you hand him the tablet to hold completely.
"Goodnight, Daddy," Ellie smiles.
"I love you," they say, again in unison. The sound is the cutest thing you've ever heard.
"Goodnight, guys. I love you more," he finishes with a soft, almost sad smile of his own before they run off the couch and chase Steve out of the room with the other kids. Nat offers you both a goodnight and a happy anniversary, parting with a wink before she hangs up.
"Those are ours," you say after a moment, astonishment lacing your tone.
"Yeah," Bucky chuckles. "We made those little punks."
"Ya know, I don't think we did too bad considering it's our first day."
"No, we were great. Naturals. They had absolutely no clue we'd never known them before today."
You laugh at that before the silence grows between you again. It's not something unusual for you guys, but the hot tension mounting in this moment in particular certainly is.
Bucky is still kneeling beside you, his large hand settled on your thick, plush thigh.
You scoot back, your weight pushing the chair. The movement allows his hand to smooth over your skin, sending sparks through you and raising goosebumps under his touch.
You try to pretend that it didn't send sparks alight in your belly as you move back further and stand, Bucky turning his gaze to follow your movements.
The sight of him on his knees before you, looking up at you with those devout blue eyes, it has your stomach fluttering as you take a deep breath.
He stands after a second, towering over you once again, somehow even closer now as you look up at him.
"What now?" you whisper.
"That's up to you, doll," he responds, voice lower than you've heard it before, his warmth radiating off of him and into you.
You see his hand twitch by his side, like he's holding himself back from reaching out and touching you again.
"Well," you swallow, "they said it's our anniversary, right?"
"Mhm,"
You raise your brows, shrugging the tiniest bit as you nervously lick your lips.
"You wanna celebrate?" you ask, your voice a little tight and heady as you flick your gaze back up to the darkening oceans of his eyes.
His lips crash into yours without another word, his speed catching you off guard as you gasp into his mouth. Bucky lifts you up like you weigh absolutely nothing and your legs circle around him as he holds you up, his lips never ceasing as he walks you out of the kitchen.
You only part to catch your breath, your forehead against his as he strides into the bedroom, your heavy breaths intermingling. Your hands are in his hair as your arms are wrapped around his neck.
He sets you down on the bed before backing away, granting you space you didn't ask for. You look at him, clearly not happy with the distance he'd put between you. Before you can say anything, Bucky speaks first.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" he asks intensely.
You look at him for a moment, hoping he can see the sincerity in your eyes. "If I'm being completely honest, Bucky, I've wanted you from the moment I met you. I wanna do this," you answer him. "I'm sure. Are you?"
Bucky pulls off his shirt as you breathe a sigh of relief, a soft titter escaping you as you watch him. He steps closer to you, taking your face in his hold, kissing you deeply. “I’m more than sure,” he speaks against your lips before pushing you back on the bed. The move has a scene playing in his mind and has him hesitating from going further as shame creeps up on him.
“I-,” he squeezes his eyes shut as he thinks through what he’s about to admit to, “I need to tell you something first.”
“What?” you ask, worry clear in your voice.
“I, well.. Hold on,” he says before getting up and leaving you sitting on the bed confused and concerned. 
Bucky returns with the tablet in hand as you eye him.
He looks like a kid about to confess his wrongdoings, eyes down on the tablet as he approaches you slowly.
“I, uh. I came across this, and.. Uhm,” he clears his throat, “I,” he takes a heavy breath, “I.. watched.. it.” he says stuntedly. “Well, not all of it, but more than I should have..”
You’re confused as he hands the tablet over to you, but take it with a quirked brow.
An image of Bucky shirtless is on the screen and you trepidatiously hit the play button, wondering what the video could possibly be. 
Your eyes go wide as you see yourself on the bed in lingerie, Bucky sporting nothing more than a pair of tight boxers. You look up at Bucky still standing before you as a blush grows on his cheeks. You watch, still wide eyed as it goes on. You’re on your back, Bucky leaning over you, and god help you, there’s a tingling in your core growing as you look on.
“No way,” you say in disbelief as it suddenly connects in your mind, eyes flicking back and forth between him and to the screen. “Is this-? Did we-? And you watched it?” you ask, scandalized as your gaze shoots back up to him. 
He rubs the back of his neck self consciously, avoiding your gaze. “I know,” he says sheepishly - you’ve never seen him like this and it’s honestly a little entertaining, a bit endearing. “I’m-” your moan coming from the speaker cuts him off and grabs your attention as you look back down at the screen, mouth going dry as your core is anything but. 
“Fuck,” you breathe as you watch Bucky on his knees, between your legs. You almost stop breathing before you look away, catching yourself and pausing the video. “Uhm. Well, that’s- this is.. Unexpected. I mean, obviously we- they- have.. sex, but, a sex tape?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have watched it, especially not as far as I did, and I just-”
“How far did you watch?” you ask, cutting him off.
You watch as he swallows hard before sitting down next to you, taking the tablet and scrolling to about the point he had stopped when he closed the video.
“Twenty five minutes?” you ask with a light laugh, looking at the time stamp, the screen paused on a still of you pulling him down on top of your naked body. 
“I’m sorry,” he says again, clearly ashamed of himself. You can’t help but laugh, loving how remorseful he seems.
“‘S’okay,” you say with a light shake of your head, pulling the tablet from his hand and locking the screen, tossing it on the opposite side of the bed. It’s not until you straddle his lap that he looks at you finally, his hands coming up without thought to hold your waist. His eyes twinkle with something akin to wonder. “I get it, can’t blame you,” you admit, your arms draped over his broad shoulders before slipping them behind his neck. “It’s hot,” you speak sultrily, leaning closer to him, allowing your lips to brush his briefly.
His eyes fall to your lips as he breathes headily, pulling you flush to him as he holds you tighter. “You think?”
“Mhm,” you nod, your chest brushing against his bare one with your every breath before you finally let yourself kiss him once again, your noses brushing against one another. 
His arms still holding you, Bucky turns you both onto the bed, ending up above you as you continue your soft makeout. His hands wander your body, touching and squeezing your softness lightly as you sigh under him, your hands wandering his body in turn. You feel like a teenager, experiencing something you’d only thought about in the far recesses of your mind for the first time, it’s intimate and exciting and you don’t even care to take this any further, your focus only on feeling each other, on being this close.
The ringing of the tablet, though, breaks through the moment. You glance over as Bucky continues kissing you, his lips on your neck as you try to read the screen - but it’s too far and out of your reach.
“Bucky,” you urge him, causing him to finally break away from you, turning to look at who was calling. 
His eyes squint as he sits up, reaching for the tablet and answering the call.
“Steve?” he answers in question. 
“Hey, sorry to interrupt, Buck. Linc’s having a hard time going to sleep, he wanted to talk to you again, I told him I’d give you a call.”
“Yeah, yeah, put him on,” he responds.
There’s a sniffle before Lincoln’s soft voice comes through the speaker, “Daddy?”
“Hey, buddy, it’s me. What’s going on, having trouble sleeping?” he asks, sitting up more attentively as you watch him.
“Miss you,” Lincoln answers solemnly, you can imagine him rubbing at his teary eyes already as you hear him sniffle again, your heart clenching at the image. “I need Wolfie, Daddy. You forgot to bring Wolfie,” you can hear his pout over the line.
“I’m sorry, pal,” Bucky apologizes sincerely, despite neither of you having had any knowledge of “Wolfie” being a necessity. “How ‘bout we bring you Wolfie?” he asks before looking over to you briefly.
“Yeah, can you bring him to me please, Daddy?” he puffs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll bring him right now, buddy. Don’t worry, we’ll be there soon, I promise.”
“Okay,” he says, voice wobbly. “Love you, Daddy,” he adds breathily on a huff, sounding on the very verge of tears. 
“I love you, too, buddy. We’ll be right there.”
“He’s on his way, champ,” Steve says as he takes it off speaker, bringing the phone back to his ear. “Sorry, guys,” he offers to you both.
“Don’t worry about it, we were just, uh,... hangin’ out,” he says, scrunching his face at his own stupid response as you give him a ‘what the hell’ look, your hand gesturing of its own accord.
“Oh-kay,” Steve says at the odd response, “What is up with you guys today?”
“Uhhh,”
“Wait, don’t tell me.. Are you guys expecting again?” he asks, voice hushed.
“Yeah,” Bucky answers stupidly on an exhale, your mouth dropping while you gawk at him. 
“Really?” 
“No,” Bucky answers quickly again, “I mean, maybe. We don’t- we’re not sure. We don’t know,” he tries to remedy his previous baseless answer. “Look, I have to find Wolfie, so I’ll see ya in a minute.” He doesn’t wait for Steve to respond before he ends the call on his end.
“What the fuck was that?” you say on a titter.
His face is in his hands as he sits on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, “I don’t know.” His response is muffled by his hands as you crawl over to him, pushing on his back to make him stand up.
“Go get the wolf,” you say as you push on him.
As he stands, you get off the bed, too, throwing his shirt at him before he turns to the door. 
“Ya know, you’d think you’d be better at this,” you taunt, earning a glare from him as he heads to the kid’s room down the hall. 
“Can you go start the car?” he huffs as you watch him walk away.
You stifle a laugh through your nose, “Mhm,” you answer before heading down the hall yourself, grabbing the keys on your way out.
As you turn to close the front door, you’re surprised as Bucky’s already behind you, the plush white wolf in hand. 
“You’re so slow,” he teases, taking the keys from your hand while you blink up at him, a smirk on his face as he passes you while you just watch, your turn to huff. 
“Dick,” you accuse as you follow him, his smirk only growing at your insult before he gets to the passenger door, holding it open for you to get in.
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2K notes · View notes
lvlyghost · 9 months
Note
Hello do you take requests cause I had this idea in my mind but I suck in writing
how bout a ghost x reader where he had a bad day and takes it out on his beloved reader who he's been in a really long relationship with, by starting an argument and maybe saying some really mean and bad things that break the reader. Like the reader is only a shell of herself and completely ruined by ghosts words and just crying or sitting completely still staring off the wall or just staring at nothing just being numb.
What would be interesting is Simons reaction when he realizes the damage that he's done, maybe he would cry/break down idk when he sees the usually happy reader being so dull and almost lifeless yk
But Pleasee don't do this to our hearts and write some comfort and a happy ending please I couldn't handle too much angst❤️😭
The Weight of the World
PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader
SUMMARY: You promised to always lean on each other but sometimes love isn't enough.
WORD COUNT: 1.5k
TW: heavy angst, literally got some mid anxiety writing this🥴 swearing, self-doubt, hurt-comfort and slight fluff towards the end. lmk if i missed any.
A/N: finished this in one sitting lol, also not proofread and poorly edited, i've been having a shitty week so expect more angst lol. meet me in therapy. Enjoy anon!🤍🌟🫶🏻💕
Masterlist✨
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You hesitate right outside Simon's studio, the place where he secludes himself from everything and everyone. Ever since he came from his last mission he seemed to be on the edge constantly. The usual softness that he reserved specifically for you was... absent.
Still you wouldn't let that stop you from approaching; having dating him for a few years now let you know so much of that. You knew when he was hurting. When he was sad, angry, jealous or even happy. Little to no people could say that.
Somehow this was different. He wasn't even letting you in, constantly keeping you at arms length and that hurt. How were you supposed to get to him this time? Get him to talk to you?
To look at you again with that same glint in his eyes, the spark that you ignited in him and that won't fade away even years after.
The sound of a chair creaking startles you, the same time the timer in the kitchen goes off. You walk back, turning the oven off, and sticking out the apple pie you so happily baked for both with hopes that you'll get him loosen a bit that dark cloud that's been looming over Simon these past few days.
The door of his studio is yanked open the heavy stomp of his boots resonating across the small apartment you two share, then his bulky frame appears just to grab the keys to his black motorcycle.
"Simon!" You call him, burning your hand in the process. He stills halfway through the living room, waiting for you to say something else. Wetting a cloth hurriedly and wrapping it around the burnt skin.
"I made something for us... maybe," standing behind him you leave a reasonable space between the two. You swallow down hard. "Thought we could have it together and just, you know spend...-"
"I don't have time for that now." His voice is cold and monotone. "Don't wait for me."
"But Si-" he turns on his heels, eyes hard and unyielding. He approaches slowly, making you gulp. "What's gotten into you, Simon?" You fight back the tears, this was the man you loved so dearly, the man you knew loved you back; there was a reason for the golden engagement ring on your left hand. "I..-"
"Fucking hell would you stop that? Please just..." he notices the wetness in your eyes. "I can't do this. Not anymore."
"Whatever it is I promise we can work it out together!" your lips quivered. "Just talk to me!"
"I don't need to talk about anything girl!" He seethes, one finger pointing at you. "Think some cheap counseling with you will make things right? Bloody hell no. Neither some homemade bread, this isn't fucking working and it won't until you learn how the bloody world works."
It breaks your heart into a tiny million pieces, breathing becomes a challenge and the injury in your hand can no longer be felt. Simon's words were worse than any physical pain. Where was the man you loved? The man who used to lift you up and kiss you on the forehead? The man whose hands couldn't stop roaming your body late at night? The man who'd helped you reach out for things he probably put away in the highest shelf so you'd ask for help. That same man that had proposed to you no long ago, right before he was deployed to a special op God knows where. The fabric of his mask moves when he keeps talking but you don't listen. You can't. Just like you can't stop the tears dribbling down your cheeks and the tremble of your hands. Simon's jaw clenched, brows furrowed as he takes a step back and leaves.
You walk sluggishly to where the dessert awaits. It's when your knees buckle that you finally let out a loud cry.
-
Simon knows he isn't a good man. He's done quite questionable things that he could never say out loud. He knows he's fucked in so many ways. But he also knows that there's one thing that kept him from spiraling further down into an abyss of death and self-loathing.
You.
The woman he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The girl that didn't care about his past, the bad moments and his complicated persona. You who would selflessly love him without asking for something in return. What had you seen in him in first place? Even now after three years he can't wrap his head around the fact that he has someone who waits for him.
Simon knows how much he loves you, but what he doesn't know is how—or in what earth—he deserves every part of you.
You've been avoiding him ever since that horrible night. Words he can't take back. Looks that haunt him every time he closed his eyes. He hears you cry when you go to sleep or when you're taking a shower. Muffled sobs and wails that will come for him until the day he dies.
You avoid him like a plague, when he walks in. After all he's the one to blame. He wanted to ask you to tear him apart maybe that'd feel less painful.
The last remaining of sanity that was left in him came crashing down when he began to notice how you stared off in a haze, numbly looking at the window. He was losing you. Destroyed the one good thing he had. So, a few days later, despite his own demons. Despite the things that broke him all irreparably during the last mission in Moscow, he comes to find you. Sucking in a sharp breath as his eyes set on your left hand.
The engagement ring was gone, forgotten someplace unknown. Simon felt the panic wrenching his guts.
It's all on him.
He whispers your name, calls you softly. Slowly sitting in front of you, the coffee table creaks under his weight. Words get caught in his throat.
"May I take your hand?" He pleads, not getting an answer. Simon sighs, lowering his head as silent reigns yet again. "I don't deserve you." He murmurs, eyes bored into the floor. "I... I ruin everything I touch. Just never thought I'd ruin my girl."
Your eyes flutter shut, wet tears clinging to your eyelashes. Simon watches as you stand and leave without a word, he follows close behind to your shared room.
"Love..."
"Don't call me that!" the hurt in your voice... the resentment in your eyes, he's earned it.
Simon reaches out for your arm, grabbing you firmly but gently, mindful not to harm you.
"Right I deserve that." If there's one thing Simon regrets it's being the reason that your eyes no longer shine. "What I said... what happened I...-"
Shaking your head and biting down your lip.
"You never gave me the chance, I thought we said we'd always find a way."
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry baby." in an instant he's pulling you close, although you want to push him away, scream at him, slap him for the calvary he made you go through. "I'm not good with words, and I'm no good person." You feel his body shaking with anxiety as your eyes widen in shock. "I tried... I can't forgive myself for my mistakes."
"Simon..." he hushed you, cradling your head with his big hand. "I can't sleep knowing I can't protect you from what's out there, couldn't bloody protect that kid in Moscow, or my family."
You guide him to the bed, sitting down side by side and holding onto each other.
"Said I would always be with you Simon, why the hell did you push me away?! Have I not given my everything to you? We promised to always make it work!" He grabs your face staring intently into your eyes. "What happened there?"
He blinks, deciding how much to say. There was no need for you to know the entirety of it. He wanted to shield you from the horrors of this world, and he would as long as he lived.
"A young lad whose life's was cut short because I wasn't there on time. How can I come back to you, be happy when someone else just lost their kid..."
"That wasn't on you! Simon Riley you stop that now." He inhales, cinnamon and vanilla flooding his senses. It's you all of you. "Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. We do that together, yeah?" Your chest hurts from how hard it's beating. "You've done far so much. You won't lose me."
A rumble in the sky and cars passing by outside your home is all you hear. Brown eyes like honey stare back into your soul.
"You took it off..."
"I burnt my hand, it wasn't healing properly. And you know what?" He quirks a brow. "It wasn't homemade bread. It was an apple pie, you silly."
"You'll never forgive me for that one won't you?" He doesn't chuckle but the air feels lighter.
"No. Probably won't." Simon takes your burnt hand bringing it to his lips, they're soft against the marred skin.
"But we're still getting married, yeah?" He asks.
You smile fondly, humming when he kisses your forehead, tears have now dried.
"Yeah. We're still getting married."
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wheeboo · 9 months
Text
seventeen and apologising to their s/o in their native language after a fight
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PAIRING. seventeen x gn!reader GENRE: maybe more angsty than expected, hurt/comfort, headcanons WARNINGS. depictions of arguments, terms of endearment, mentions of kissing WORD COUNT. 1.8k
requested by @mirxzii: haii haii my rani ^^ idk if u saw this in the serv last night but!! svt members fighting w so and accidentally saying smthn mean (like i hate you) and they feel so bad they apologize to u in your native language to try n show how sincere they are :((
notes: i kinda dont like how i wrote this, but i hope it came out okay ^^ totally didn't write most of this at like 3am lkjdfsdf its vERY Rushed i wrote everyone past jeonghan in one setting lmasoo
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choi seungcheol
"i can't stand this anymore!"
immediately feels that pang of regret in his chest, taking all the responsibility of his words deep in his heart. the heat of the moment had gotten to him and once he caught sight of you shriveling in the comfort of your arms and the tears forming in your eyes, he feels all that prior anger wash away as he reaches over to bring you in his arms, uttering out his apologies and feeling tears brimming in his own eyes.
once you've calmed down a bit, he'd whisper so softly just next to your ear, "i'm sorry," in your native language. "i'm so sorry."
you feel this strange wave of comfort wash over you, hearing him conveying his apologies in your native language bringing a different jump to your heart than what you've experienced.
yoon jeonghan
"so you want to break up? is that it?"
is usually calm and collected during arguments, but there was just a bit more hurt laced to his words than intended. he sees the way your words get caught in your mouth and the way your face distorts achingly. grabs your hand in his, half-expecting for you to let go, but you don't. cups your face with his other hand, thumbing away the tears streaming down your face. starts off with small reassurances and murmurs of apologies, before taking one long look at your face.
"i'm sorry, angel," he apologises in your native language. "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean it like that, i'm sorry."
there's a very inconspicuous lift to the corners of your lips at his words, and he finds himself letting out a soft sigh of relief when you hold his hand just a little bit tighter.
joshua hong
"i hate fighting with you."
you know he means it, even from the gap between you both on the couch and your energy depleted from your spewl of banter. you're both quiet now, and he knows that silence is just as bad as the hurtful words you both said to each other this night. sighing, he closes the space and cups your face gently in his hand, encouraging you to look up at him.
"can you... can you look at me?" he asks, and you do so hesitantly. your eyes meet his, and you can see the genuine regret in them. 'i'm so sorry. you know i love you more than anything. anything."
he says it in your native language, and it adds an extra layer of tenderness to the apologies leaving his mouth, and you can't help but faintly smile through the tears.
wen junhui
"maybe we're just better apart!"
his words hang torturously in the air, and he immediately regrets letting them slip from his lips, the panic beginning to course through his body. he watches as your eyes well up with tears, and he can't bear to see you hurting like this. reaches out to hold your trembling hands in his, his own hand shaking equally with yours.
"i-i'm sorry, i didn't mean it like that, pl-please don't cry, Y/N," he tells you nervously, the feature of your native tongue making your eyes widen. "i love you so much, and i don't want to be without you, please."
when you meet your eyes with his, you feel as if an arrow had shot through your own heart. all you do is silently reach to palm your hands over his this time, and he takes the chance to press a sweet kiss to your forehead.
kwon soonyoung
"you're being so difficult right now!"
his frustration had gotten the best of him at this ungodly hour in the middle of the night, yet he immediately regrets his harsh words when he sees the hurt in your eyes. at that very moment he swears he can just drop to his knees and wish your worries away, but he knows it isn't that easy. instead, he takes a step closer, hesitant hands at his side, before caressing your tears away with both of his thumbs.
"crap, i..." he loses his words for a moment, before letting out, "i'm so sorry, baby. i'm so so sorry. i just... i hate it when we fight. i'm sorry."
his words are quick, but you can pinpoint the remorse in them, especially when your heartbeat quickens upon hearing him say it in your native language. his eyes are pleading when you look back up at them as you give him a small smile.
jeon wonwoo
"i can't deal with your drama anymore."
his words cut deep like a knife, and he can see the pain in your eyes once it sets in what he just said. immediately regrets his choice of words and reaches out to pull you into a comforting hug. it's an impulsive act, he knows that it is, but he can't stand the feeling of the words he just said separating the two of you. not ever.
it takes him a few moments of relishing your presence in his grasp before murmuring, "i'm sorry, my love."
it's a very small, simple apology, yet one that warms your heart more than expected once you hear it in your native language. when you pull away from him slightly to look in his eyes, he says it again, each feeling like a new stitch to your heart.
lee jihoon
"you're impossible to talk to."
regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth, and he feels his chest tighten with guilt as soon as he pinpoints the hurt in your eyes, quickly replacing whatever anger he had with worry. but for a second, he hesitates, and curses himself for doing so. yet when that wall finally breaks, he approaches you, gently taking your hands in his and squeezing them softly.
"i'm sorry, Y/N, " he says in your native language, voice quiet yet filled with sincerity. "i want to talk to you, i just got frustrated, and i... i'm sorry. i really am."
hearing him apologise in your language makes you feel understood, and you offer a nod, even with the tears still brimming in your eyes.
xu minghao
"i'm done with this conversation."
he didn't mean for it to get this far, but he knows right away that resolving this wouldn't get anywhere if you two didn't talk it out properly. and you know it too, seemingly not having moved from where you stood as you gaze at him with a look of defeat. there's just something about it that makes his face soften, and he steps back up to you.
"i'm sorry," he confesses simply in your native tongue, yet it's enough to convey his genuineness. "i never want to push you away like this. let's talk this out, okay?"
you feel the sense of comfort hit you, and you give him a nod, interlocking your hand with his and letting him lead you to the couch.
kim mingyu
"you're making this harder than it needs to be."
it comes out harshly, more than he expected it to be, that it's even enough to shatter his own heart at his own words. his frustration is quick to dissipate when he hears the way your breathing is shaking in the silence, and from the tears starting to form on your eyes. it hurts, gosh it hurts so bad to see you like this. steps back up to you, grabbing your hands and pulling you closer to him.
"baby, i'm sorry. i..." then he takes a deep breath, giving him a moment to secure his words. "i'm sorry, i love you. i'm so sorry."
even in your native language, his words touch your heart as you're quick to pull him towards you, and his large arms wrapping around comfortingly you just like his words do.
lee seokmin
"you're driving me crazy right now!"
his words are loud that you feel it riddling in your bones, drying up whatever you wanted to say. the regret is quick to hit him, so fast that you can't make out the unintelligible spill of apologies leaving his mouth. the tears well up in his eyes at your quietness, knowing he had pushed a nerve, and his hands unsteadily make his way into yours.
"i'm so sorry, sunshine. please forgive me, i..." he pauses, blinking back his tears. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry for all of this. please don't cry... i never want to hurt you."
you hate seeing him cry; you hate fighting with him too, but his words are enough to give him a faint smile of forgiveness. you know that he's sorry, and hearing it in your native language makes it more endearing.
boo seungkwan
"you're being so unreasonable!"
his voice had taken a rough edge at the heat of the argument, the frustration evident in his words. but when he catches sight of the pain to your face, he feels his heart drop to the floor, realising the gravity of what he said, and he couldn't believe he'd let his frustration get the best of him. feels his thoughts begin to soar, trying to put together an apology right away, just anything.
"Y/N, i... i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," he lets out quietly, cautiously, in your native language, voice pleading. "can you... no, nevermind, i'm sorry. i really am."
he's looking deep into your eyes now, trying to decipher through your face, and he can see the instant, slight change when you hear his words.
vernon chwe
"i can't put up with you right now."
it feels cold, his words sending a shiver running up and down your spine like a madman. it's enough to make you freeze in place, making your thoughts think the worst things, yet also enough for him to notice the weight of what he just said. he calls out your name quietly, momentarily snapping you back to reality, having the urge to grab your hand but hesitant to do so.
"Y/N?" he calls out again, and when your glassy eyes meet him, his he feels something drop inside of him. "Y/N, baby, i..." he brings himself closer to you, locking one of his hand through yours and the other to your side. "i'm... i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that, baby, i'm sorry."
you didn't expect the switch to your native tongue, and you can tell by his gaze how serious he is. but it holds the regret that he feels and the sincerity in his words.
lee chan
"just leave! if that's what you want, just leave!"
his words had been sharp and filled with frustration. you feel like the ground beneath you is crumbling, and it's as if the world is crashing down around you. but almost instantly, his face registers the pain in your eyes, and he realises how hurtful his words were. he steps closer to you, his eyes wide with regret, and he reaches out to take your hand.
"i-i didn't mean that, i'm sorry," he says softly, apologising in your native tongue like it was natural, voice quivering. "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean any of it."
hearing him apologise in your native tongue reassures you that he truly regrets his words, and you slowly nod, though tears still in your eyes, but a glimmer of forgiveness in your heart.
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