#just pay attention to the funky little guys

[nosfelixculpa]

heart hotel wombo combo my beloved

[fierce-sims]

I'll ask for Pollination Technician Number Nine Smith for character bingo

[heartfullofleeches]

Lowkey get the vibes remmy has medical weed. Like, for his anxiety, he takes weed to relax. Srry if this headcanon is a lil weird tho 😭

Remmy feels like an edible kinda guy - High chance he burns the hell out of his lungs trying smoke pulling too hard and feel worst than when he started. He also uses it without even paying attention to the fact its weed. His parents got him a med card when he was younger and only gave him edibles. His parents still send him care packages to this day that probably includes some gummies.

-

[Stoner Darling finds a bottle that peaks their interest while going through Remmy's belongings]

Stoner Darling: Whoa.... Didn't know you were holding out on me, Rem.

Remmy: Hm? Oh, that's just the candy my mom sends every now and then. You can have some if you want. They taste a little funky, but they help with my anxiety

Stoner Darling: Remiel... You know these have weed in them, right?

Remmy: Seriously?! I guess I never really pay attention to the label..... that's not bad is it?

Stoner Darling: Look at who you're talking to. Just means we have more in common now.

Remmy: Oh... That's good, then. :)

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

please can I request soft/ fluff HCs with Peter quill? it’s sinful how little fics there are of him, so had to ask you :) 💕 preferably female but GN is fine too

hii! omg yess that’s so true, there is literally no fics of him! I have searched for so long to find some quill fics but often come up empty, so if anyone has recs, please please send them my way (I need them and him) ive never wrote for quill so hope these are accurate. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

headcanons/ imagines

peter quill x f reader

warnings || none

a/n || I may have done this first, sorry to all the others in my inbox, this was something fun to do and hopefully it might kick me into writing again

masterlist + rules

taglist

- it’s a given, but you guys talk about music ALL the time, it’s definitely a very important part of your relationship. maybe you share new songs with him from different decades, but you definitely prefer his music and he loves that you love his music

- he has an abundance of funky, fun and cool graphic tees, he loves to share them with you and probably prefers them on you

- he definitely fell first

- he loves to make you laugh, constantly cracking jokes. doesn’t even need to try and you’d just be laughing or smiling at him. his favourite laughs of yours are when you snort or cackle at his unintentional jokes

- it makes him feel special that you pay attention to the little things he says and when you react earnestly to them

- even though he LOVES the other guardians, he definitely prefers one on one time with you and loves to have you all to himself. he also loves your attention, and he definitely craves time with you

- he has major abandonment issues, so he doesn’t like you leaving his side. you’d be like his lucky rock, or a special penny that he always needs near. you are incredibly special to quill and he is often terrified that he’ll lose you too

- he craves validation, especially from you

- he is a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for. he’s definitely learnt tonnes from rocket over the years

- if he ever has to do a mission separately from you (would take a lot of persuasion and reassurance first) but he always brings back some special for you, something tailored and important to you, something that holds significance

- he’s incredibly sentimental, again not always showing it. he feels safe with the other guardians, but even more so with you. he doesn’t often like talking about his mother (he finds it too difficult) it took a lot of time, but he eventually shared that part of his life with you, and he was glad he did because your reaction was exactly what he needed

- an amazing hugger, he’s super comforting and safe. he has a very homely vibe and instantly makes you feel at ease

- you two have a very fun and easygoing relationship, it’s light and airy, but serious and passionate when it needs to be. a very sincere and genuine dynamic

- he taught you how to speak groot, he’s a great teacher but it took some getting used to

- he likes when you sit on his lap when he steers the ship, even though it’s not technically safe, he loves having you near when he is in the captain's seat (or just on his lap in the seat in general)

- but if need be, your seat is behind him, so it’s not too far away

- he loves teaching you things, he wanted to be the one to teach you about the ship and its buttons and controls

- I had this idea: that you take him to earth (he might not be too fond of the idea at first) but you surprise him with concert tickets so you both could see a band he loves. he’d never stop talking about it, and he’d keep the ticket stubs pinned up so he could look at them all the time

- he would do ANYTHING for you, he goes love blind (may have gotten himself hurt a couple of times to protect you)

- you both invented a special code/ encryption so you can talk to each other over comms. if he is on the other side of the ship (maybe tinkering) he’ll send you a secret message to let you know he’s thinking of you

- you guys don’t really argue (that’s not a bad thing either) if you have a disagreement it’s usually very light, and unserious, he’d probably accidentally make you laugh during it and then everything goes back to normal

- but if you ever do get into an argument, he can be quite stubborn

- he is a man-child (but the best kind!!) he can be immature and cocky but he’s always lighthearted. he’s just a fun-loving goof

- he loves when you call him starlord (but you don’t say it too often, so it doesn’t lose its meaning)

- you helped him process his grief, especially after yondu. once he felt comfortable talking about him again, he’d tell you all of these stories about him growing up

- he no longer drinks to forget, he now prefers a social drink after a mission with the crew instead. he doesn’t feel the need to drink himself silly now that he has you

- the guardians think you’re a great addition to the team and love that you make quill so happy

- you and peter share stories of earth with the others, sometimes you’d bend the truth and say wacky absurd things to joke around with them, but that being said it often flies over their heads, especially drax and mantis

- you two are definitely best friends as well as a couple, the perfect balance of friendship and romance, which is what makes the connection so special

[emmyrosee]

…that being said, I have a new thought for today and I’m so sorry for it but I NEEEEEEDDDD to get it out of my system I just wanna be pampered a bit ☹️☹️

okokok so today I went shopping and I got a ton of clothes and I was so happy cause usually clothes shopping and dressing rooms aren’t fun experiences but it actually went really well!! So!!! Fashion show/try on haul when you get back home for your favourite hq guy :) whoever it is, he’d definitely hype you up ask for a spin, overall just keep the high of having a successful shopping experience going with all the attention he’s giving you. (…maybe he insisted on paying for everything before you left, maybe you also threw in an outfit you knew he’d really like on you 👀)… that’s all!! just a funky little thought I had after shopping 😋

anon <3

*deep inhale* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

No because listen. LISTEN TO ME. gonna do atsumu bc we’re married but just so we’re clear, there were several other candidates just begging to be picked- also this got a hair suggestive bc I am a slore so proceed with caution

Like bdosnsoSNISNEOSNSOSNSOSN-

Okay. I’m good.

Like the morning you decide to go out, he’s leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee and his credit card in his thick fingers, sweatpants low on his hips and lips in a smirk as you hustle around the kitchen to get ready. He taps it against the counter for your attention. You give him a playful glare and sigh, “I don’t need it.”

“It’s not about needing it,” he mimics back. “I can’t go with ya, so I want you to pick out things you think I’ll like too.” He lowers his head to peer at you through his brows, “and I know you know what I like.”

“Behave!” Regardless of your scold, you take his card from his fingers and lean in for a sweet, quick kiss which you allow to turn into a more strong, loving one. You nip at his lip when you pull away, “you’ll have fun; the boys need you.”

“They don’t need anything,” he chuckles, taking another sip of his coffee. “They can survive one day without their handsome, sophisticated leader.”

“There is not one thing in that sentence that’s true.”

He snarls and lunges at you while you cackle, clearly deadset on turning him feral and working up his playfulness just before leaving- asshole. “Don’t be a brat, ‘s not fair to do that to me.”

“You know I can’t make any promises!”

And with that, you blow him a kiss and scurry out of the house, leaving him pouty until he has to get ready for the boys.

It isn’t until hours later that you finally come home, arms full of shopping bags and panting with effort; he makes his way over to give you a hand (which ultimately just means he’s left carrying all the bags), and you’re quick to bring him up to the bedroom, only prompted with the words “fashion show.”

“Sit,” you command, and he does so eagerly. He folds his hands in his lap and lets his eyes glaze over your form as they’ve done so many times before. You sink your teeth into your lip to hide away a grin, “I went crazy.”

“Oh thank god, I was getting used to having a foot of closet to myself.”

“You wear a jersey, you don’t need a foot of the closet. Anyways.” Your hand reaches into the bag and pulls out armfuls of clothes, and he beams because he knows the absolute trials you go through sometimes with outfits, so the idea that you were able to completely stock up on things that are going to make you feel as confident as you deserve to feel makes his heart skip.

The outfits you got, too, are amazing.

There’s a few for more important things, like meetings for work or outings with him at sponsor events, then more casual things, like when Rintaro comes around or hanging out at Osamu’s shop. There’s some sleepwear and a dope new hoodie he’s gonna steal from you, all of which he hoots and wolf-whistles at, but it all comes together when you come out in this goddamned dress.

His jaw slacks when you come out in it, eyes settling on the way it squeezes the meat of your hips a little too tight, and he swallows to combat his cotton mouth and shifts his sweats to conceal anything that might give him away. The color makes the undertones in your skin pop, it’s on the shorter side and it shows off the sexy thighs he loves to mark up, and you look exactly like a picture he would’ve kept under his mattress as a kid.

“This one was a tossup,” you confess, turning to look at yourself in the full-length mirror. Your hands smooth out the fabric, “because like. The color is absolutely divine, but like… I don’t know, it looks kinda tight-“

“Is it comfortable to wear?”

“Yeah but I feel like it looks tight-“

“I feel like I want to toss you on this bed.”

“Atsumu!” You gasp, immediately turning towards him. He shrugs cockily and stands back up wrapping his arms loosely around your waist.

“I’m a simple, perverted man; I like you in tight clothes. Is that wrong?”

“Of course not, but…” you fiddle with your fingers, “this isn’t the thing I bought for you; I bought this just for a night out, you weren’t supposed to… reach to this.”

“Guess that says more about me than it does about the things you wear,” he says simply, and when you open your mouth to speak, he quickly crouches to grab the back of your thighs, pulling you up and wrapping around his waist with ease, threads popping on the dress and his own wide grin spreading over his face as you giggle and toss your arms around his neck.

“You’re so annoying!” You scold around some giggles, and he chuckles before, indeed, dropping you onto the bed and silencing your squeals with a kiss.

“Tell your girlfriends ‘tough luck,’” he purrs, sponging kisses down your neck while you lace your fingers into his hair.

“This outfit’s for me, now.”

[mamawasatesttube]

terrible time in a Put This Guy In Situations way or a Oh Fuck I’m In Love With My Best Friend way? cannot wait im on the edge of my seat<3

mostly the latter but i think he's going OH FUCK about it so hard that he's kind of in situations the entire time. here's a little bit of what i mean:

“Oh! Tim!” Kon whirls on him, swinging Bart around. “You gotta take your Lactaid!”

Pssshhhh. Who needs Lactaid? Certainly not Tim. Like, sure, he’s lactose intolerant, but fuck that. “I didn’t bring any,” Tim shrugs. “I was just kinda gonna rawdog it, y’know? Deal with the consequences… later?”

Kon raises his eyes to the heavens. “Yeah, I know you fu—freaking were, you … fudging dingus.” He glances back at the family behind them, but they don’t seem to be paying attention anyway. “Which is why I brought some. It’s in my pocket. Get it and take it, or I’ll deploy Bart to eat your sundae before you get a single bite in.”

“Harsh, but effective,” Cassie observes.

“Team Mom: two. Team Dad: zero!” Bart cheers.

“Two?” Tim objects. “That was one! How is he at two?”

“Sunscreen,” Bart explains.

Ugh. Fair point. Tim tips his head in begrudging concession, sighs, and looks at Kon. “Fine… Which pocket?”

Kon turns. “Back right,” he says, and hefts Bart up on his back so Tim can reach easier. “It’s two packets. You should probably take both ‘cuz, I mean, ice cream’s pretty heavy on the dairy.”

Back… right…

Oh, no.

Kon’s hands are full of Bart. And they’re in public, surrounded by people, which means he can’t just TTK the pills out into Tim’s hands. Which means…

Oh, no.

“Tim.” Kon sounds a little huffy. “Take your pills, dude.”

Tim takes a breath. Lets it out slowly through his nose. “…Yeah. I’ll just, uh. Do that.”

Kon is wearing boardshorts with a two-inch inseam and a funky red, blue, and turquoise hibiscus print. Tim can see the vibrant pattern through the sheer fabric of his cover-up dress; he clearly picked the dress fabric to match the turquoise on the flowers, albeit much lighter. And if Tim focuses on the floral print, he can avoid thinking about how he’s definitely just staring at Kon’s ass right now.

Fuck.

Better to just get this over with before Kon prods him again. He might assume Tim’s being petulant about the pills, or, worse, ask what his deal is, and Tim definitely can’t explain to him you basically just asked me to grope your ass without being weird.

Okay. It’s fine. This is fine.

First, he has to lift the lacy hem of Kon’s dress; his cheeks burn as he does, even though Kon’s been running around all afternoon without wearing it anyway. There’s just something about the act of lifting his skirt up over his hips, exposing the delicious strip of golden-brown skin just above the waistband of his shorts… the soft dimples in his lower back…

Tim swallows hard. He’s just getting pills. He’s just getting the pills in Kon’s back pocket. That’s all.

(Fuck!)

[c0ld0utside]

Hi💜💜💜

Firstly I just wanted to say that I loved your writing, it's very good and I loved the story you wrote about the human father and the monster son, I would like part 2 of this story if it wasn't too much trouble (of course only if you want to do it)

What’s this, a part 2?

Yeah, it’s a part two. 

Joey and Tim back at it again.

Warnings (Let me know if I need to add any): Mention of force-feeding, mention of bondage, mention of “Joey”!Reader’s horns are filed down, mention of “Joey”!Reader getting muzzled, infantilization(?)

It’s been a few months since you were adopted by Tim, and the first few weeks with him were rough, to say the least. Any chance you got, you’d either bite, headbutt, and scratch him, or you’d make a break for it. This led to him having to file your horns down after one of them nicked his cheek and putting a muzzle on you after you bit him so hard he had to get stitches. Tim wasn’t happy about it at all.

He wasn’t happy about having to force-feed you, either. He didn’t know why you wouldn’t eat the meals he made you. Tim made sure to include everything since he didn’t know what your species ate. Meats, seafood, dairy, grains, greens, fruits…you either wouldn’t eat it or would find a way to cough it up. Tim had to settle on making you drink smoothies and protein shakes.

“I hate doing this to you. You’re not an animal, sweetness. Stop making me treat you like one.” He’d say, rubbing your head gently as he tried to help you fall asleep. It would’ve been nice had your arms and legs not been tied together with rope. “Anyone else would treat you like one, but I don’t. I know you’re sentient enough. You’re not a dog. Just work with me, okay?”

“I’m doing so much for you, you have no idea. Can you even fully understand me? Probably not. I wonder what that’s like- well, I kind of can. It’s been a while though.”

Begrudgingly, you did. You stopped lashing out and let him feed you food that wasn’t put through the blender. You pay attention when he reads you stories and shows you those silly things on his “phone.” Tim called them “educational videos,” leaving out the fact that they were targeted at pre-schoolers and elementary school kids. You fight the urge to run whenever he has you trace the cursive prints in the writing workbooks he bought.

Tim is especially understanding whenever you voice your hatred for math with hisses and growls during the middle of a problem. It was easy at first- adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing…and then fractions and decimals came in. Once you got the hang of reading and writing, Tim enrolled you in online classes. “Remember to put on those contacts I got you,”  He’ll say at least ten minutes before your first class starts.

Unlucky for you, Tim works from home as a translator, so that means no escape attempts during the day. He changed up the lock to your bedroom so it locks from the outside and nailed your window shut. “I’m really sorry sweetness, I don’t trust you entirely just yet.” Tim had explained. “It’s fair, right? You don’t completely trust me, and I don’t completely trust you to not run away.”

Today’s different. Much to his surprise, you’ve curled up into his side, watching as he translates a book into French. Tim’s surprise melts into pure joy. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer as he works. 

“What’d you learn today?” Tim asks, gaze shifting back to his laptop screen. “How genes work,” You reply simply. “It made me wonder who my sire is. I take after them more.” 

Tim hums in reply. “You’re a funky little guy, I’ll give you that.” He says, gently scratching your head, fingers running through your…mane? Hair? He doesn’t know what to call it. “Does your species have a name?” Tim asks, sounding genuinely curious. You shake your head.

“My parent never told me much about my “species.” We just are, I guess. That and to stay away from others because they’ll try to kill me.” You say.

“Like bears?” Tim assumes. You can only shrug. “Probably. How do bears behave?” He shuts his laptop. “Alrighty, documentary time,” Tim says, getting up to put his laptop away. 

“What about your job?” You ask, sitting up on the couch. “No need to worry. I’m almost done and I could use a break, anyway.” He answers dismissively, plugging the device in to charge on the counter. Walking back over to you, Tim grabs the TV remote off the coffee table and turns it on. Opening up some streaming service, he turns on a nature documentary and sits down next to you.

“Isn’t this nice?” Tim asks. “Sure,” you offer, reaching up to feel your horns. They’re coming back in, slowly but surely. Tim promised that he wouldn’t file them down again unless you tried to hurt him again. Which is fair. He takes notice of your movements, expression turning apologetic. 

On the TV, the narrator observes a herd of zebras. “...Is it still a firm no?” You pipe up. Tim lets you have online friendships with the other kids in your classes, but won’t let you see them in person. “On meeting up with Shay and Lucas?” 

Tim sighs. “Sweetness, you know it’s dangerous. Other humans aren’t accepting like I am, and I don’t want you to be taken away and prodded at by scientists. You’re a person, not an-” “-Animal. I know.” You cut him off irritatedly. 

“Hey,” He says, tone softening. “...How about this. You can meet up with them, but I come with you. Deal?” 

“Is that the only option I have?” You ask. “Mhm,” Tim hums.

“Fine. Deal.”

-

I'm taking advantage of my break to catch up on asks instead of writing an essay. No regrets. As always, criticism is welcome.

May I just say, you're looking divine today. Have you ever had a fruit bowl before? You should try it.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Stampede Character Thoughts: Vash

I've been putting off this write-up since I finished the show if for no other reason than whenever I go to analyze this funky little dude my entire brain just stalls and goes

✨ Hi, Vash. Hi. :) ✨

...anyways.

Here's a quick collection of thoughts on him now that I am finally more coherent! The hardest part of this was trying to make something readable with the sheer amount of things I could say about him. Geez.

(Please note that I have only watched Trigun Stampede! As of this moment, I am starting the manga and have not seen 98 Trigun. I thought it might be interesting to compare and contrast once I've read the manga. Bear with me in the meantime!)

Right off the bat, the show introduces us to who Vash is as a character - a pacifistic gunman who, while incredibly skilled, avoids confrontation when at all possible. When Meryl accuses him of running away out of fear, it's pretty quickly made apparent that, while it is out of some semblance of fear, it is not fear for himself. Rather, his concerns lie with other people's well-being first and foremost.

Or, really, his concerns lie near completely with other people's well-being. What happens to him is of very little consequence if it means everyone else is okay.

I want to talk about three different things when it comes to Vash, namely:

His incredible skill and competence

His terrible self-image

His solidly held pacifistic convictions

Skill and Competence

Ohhhh ok. So, I can't really comment on exact positions or maneuvers (I used to do martial arts pretty extensively, but it's obviously not the same kind and I know absolutely nothing about guns or marksmanship sorry), but I can sure tell you that I loved the way the animators had Vash move in episode 1 right before he pulls out his gun for the first time. I wish I knew how to make gifs properly because I would totally make one of that part. Even before Roberto's line that "acting brave is foolish" and "he's not long for this world" had finished, I was already convinced of the exact opposite. As someone who's done martial arts. Guys. The way he moves here.

It's a three step movement - he steps to the right, then to the left in an almost meandering way, shifting his body weight as he goes, before he grounds himself in a wide stance. It's slow, fluid, and calculated - a distinct contrast from his often jerky, exaggerated motions that we saw earlier. God I wish I had a gif. I don't think I can simply explain how insane it makes me. The animators could've just had him approach directly or run up to it - a lot of the times, with action heroes, there's a lot of flashy motion or jumping around, etc., which looks cool but isn't exactly something to be role modelling in an actual fight lol. But here? In the next episode, Nebraska mockingly says "this isn't the ballet" with regards to the dodging and spinning Vash does, but a lot of his motions... really are dance-like. He's damn near effortlessly shifting his center of gravity while remaining fluid in motion and completely balanced. No novice moves like that. He clearly has a lot of experience. For me watching, Roberto's line was refuted before he even finished it.

...which of course makes it even funnier when he realizes he's out of bullets. Oh, buddy. You looked so cool for a second there. Hjhdfnv

Really though, pay attention to the way he moves while fighting or shooting. He's always well-grounded, and the more serious the situation, the more fluidly and less exaggeratedly he moves. It's so, so cool. I don't know if I've quite seen that kind of motion in animation before, especially cgi (though it is possible I just haven't seen enough too...hehe...).

The episode 12 fight too! Again, Vash is balanced, even as he's being knocked backwards. He falls correctly, and allows his body to move with the gun. All his motions are precise and fluid. Contrast that to Nai, who is, uh... totally unbalanced lmao.

And then the way he tucks before he jumps out the window! The animation actually convinced me of this guy's over 100 years of experience. I actually believe it.

What's nice is that Vash, too, is aware of his own skill. He moves with a lot of confidence, and he clearly has a great degree of trust in his own ability to fight and shoot without seriously harming anyone - not once does he show the slightest bit of doubt in his abilities. One might expect, given Vash's refusal to kill, that he might be worried about accidental injuries when in the middle of a gunfight - but he isn't. Ever. The only way I can interpret this is complete confidence in his own abilities, and he most likely trained hard to specifically ensure that this would never be a concern. The trope of "character who doesn't want to fight or hurt people turns out to be really insanely skilled/strong" is always cool and fun, but in this context it's really a neat take on it, since I feel it is only because he refuses to kill that he intentionally developed such god-tier level marksmanship - I am going to go out on a limb here and assume it is much easier to accidentally inflict serious injury with a gun than it is to actively avoid doing so lol. He probably worked at being a really good fighter and gunman specifically so he could avoid killing.

I also find it kind of refreshing that he never calls his skills into question, since that does tend to happen with characters who have a poor self-image or low esteem. Which, uh, takes me to the next point.

Self-Image

Yeah, Vash's self-image is kind of in the gutter. He places the blame for all the tragedies that follow him on himself, despite the fact that he always puts in his full effort to prevent them from happening.

The majority of this ties back to his feelings of culpability for the fall. I want to direct your attention to the scene where Vash is digging the tally marks into the wall in episode 8 - it can't possibly be the number of days that have passed since we see the transition of the sun only twice and Brad looks shocked when he sees the all the tallies (which he wouldn't be if they had been there for that many days). With the way Vash's tallies look a bit like crosses and the fact that he greeted the people in cryosleep on Ship 5 by name in the first episode, suffice to say, he is probably making a tally of all the people who didn't make it through the crash - people whose deaths he feels personally responsible for.

Really, I wouldn't consider Vash even remotely responsible for any of that - he had the access codes but like. Zero intent or knowledge of what Nai was about to do with them. Regardless, Vash carries the guilt from it in the way Nai won't, because in his mind, someone needs to take accountability. Also important to remember is that the only reason any human being still lives on No Man's Land is because of Rem's sacrifice. Vash needs to maintain his belief in the capacity for human kindness and his no-killing code, because if he doesn't, her sacrifice would be in vain. He keeps her values and beliefs alive. She's in everything he does. Even hollowed out and stripped of his memories and identity, the mass of roots and flowers that engulf July take on her likeness.

So, really, in addition to Vash just being a generally compassionate soul, his staunch pacifism is a refusal to betray her beliefs and let his mother figure die a second time. I need to fucking lie down.

With all this strain he puts on himself, it's really not surprising that when tragedy inevitably strikes, he is very hard on himself, and from what we've seen this actually manifests in a set of consistent self-punishing behaviours - I am of course referring to episode 3's "I don't deserve to cry" and his refusal to eat in episode 4 (despite apparently needing to, unlike Nai). This is very similar to what we see in episode 8 with him as a kid, where he goes somewhat blank (no crying, no anger, all his negativity directed inwards and at himself) and refusing all food except what little he needs to survive because "it's a waste".

The worst part of this though, to me, is that we see from certain throwaway bits ("one bullet is two slices of pizza/two dozen donuts!", his kid self's eagerness at the sight of the birthday cake and the spread of food, his first question on seeing the geranium being to wonder if it is edible) that he not only needs to eat but also seems to enjoy eating - so his refusal to eat is not only a denial of a basic necessity but also of one of the few things he genuinely likes that he will allow himself to partake in. In the context of Rem framing food as something to share with everyone, it also makes me wonder if his self-denial is something along the lines of "I don't deserve to share this with them". In that sense, it's really important that Luida echoes a similar sentiment as Rem (implying she wants to share this food/include him, and that some of Rem's views survive in these remaining people).

I do wonder if, because food is associated with sharing to him, that it has something to do with needing to "earn a place at the table" in a way. While I think Luida was trying her best to juggle a lot on Ship 3 behind the scenes after the fall and clearly didn't want to keep Vash locked up like that, the crew only started treating him better and trusting him after he found a way to help them. The unfortunate view that Vash receives then is: "I need to earn their trust by being helpful." Vash is a chronic people pleaser - I can't think of a single point where he does something solely for his own benefit. He has no desire to scare or harm anyone (quite the opposite!) so he goes out of his way to be as helpful and non-threatening as possible - hiding his true nature as a Plant (to such an extent that he doesn't know anything about his powers and has effectively sealed them away - he's practically human), masking his facial expressions by cleverly hiding his face or letting the light reflect off his glasses, trying to laugh off his competence as luck and his scars as embarrassing.

Is it because he doesn't want to scare people? Is it because he doesn't want to feel othered from them? It's hard to say. It's probably a bit of both.

Nai accuses Vash of loneliness and desiring love, and of seeking to fill that gap by appeasing humans. While I don't think this is necessarily wrong, it can't possibly be accurate as a core motivation, since Vash doesn't seem to really... accept a lot of positive interaction. Whether out of concern for others' safety, a lack of feeling like he deserves it, being secretive about his past and identity, or some combination of the above, Vash tends to leave a lot. He leaves Jeneora Rock's celebration early, tries to walk away from Meryl even as she's calling out to him, runs away from Home when Brad and Luida listen to the recording. He throws walls up and distances himself by laughing things off, or smiling, or simply not explaining anything.

I mentioned this during my live blogging while watching episode 9, but as Independents, it's intriguing to me that both Vash and Nai exist outside the cycle of dependence we see between the Plants and the humans - both of which cannot survive without the other. Nai appears to revel in this detachment, but Vash also seems to self-impose a certain distance between himself and everyone else - for all his friendliness and inability to leave someone hanging who needs help, he practices a lot of recognizably avoidant strategies. He exists on the periphery, never staying in one place too long (he can't), and treating every interaction with a certain kind of resignation - an understanding that it is temporary. He seems to expect the inevitability of being chased out over and over. The slightest of kindnesses given to him he always feels incredibly grateful for. Perhaps he feels that kindness is more than he deserves.

I honestly dread to think how he'll react once he regains his memories of what happened to July. I trust that he'll keep pushing on, as he always does, but is he going to remember that he deserves to eat and smile?

I really hope so. Otherwise I will need Meryl and Wolfwood to bonk him on the head.

Pacifism and Conviction

The thing about Vash's pacifism is that it's very difficult to tell whether it is primarily motivated by love or guilt. Vash carries an incredible amount of survivor's guilt with him and he absolutely is doing his best to keep Rem's memory alive, but I don't think it can be denied that he isn't just acting out Rem's beliefs - he really does believe in them himself. He's also genuinely compassionate and does care and become invested in the well-being of others. In the end, I'm not sure it really matters. I don't think the guilt or love can be easily extricated from each other at this point; they are both powerful drivers of his actions and core to his identity as a person, and while this is not exactly ideal for getting him to be kind to himself, they both strongly feed into his continuous choice to be kind to others.

And it is a choice, not naivety, as pacifism is so often brushed off as. Vash's compassion is something he chooses over and over again, in spite of the way he is often treated, and the way his powers hold far more potential for destruction than even Knives. Wolfwood thinks that Vash doesn't understand harsh realities and is going to receive a rude awakening but he does understand - Vash just chooses not to accept violence as the only way forward and believes that things can change and improve, and is willing to expend that energy and extra hurt into making that a reality. Nai thinks Vash is helpless and brainwashed into his belief - note the way Vash frequently appears as his child self when Nai tampers with his Gate or his memories; the implication here is that Nai sees Vash as incapable of making choices for himself and in need of protection - but not only is this horribly demeaning to Vash's personhood, it simply isn't true. Even Meryl chews him out for what looked like running away to her early on, and Roberto thinks he's going to get himself killed sooner or later. Everyone underestimates Vash, at least at first. And well, it's easy to. He's just a silly little guy! He's a bleeding heart who tries to help everyone he comes across! He talks about nobody needing to die in a world where most everyone is starving and desperate! To the people in-universe, he would look like a total fool, and far too idealistic to last long.

Except, he has. He's around 150 years old, he's scarred to hell and back, but he's still alive and he still chooses kindness. That takes a special kind of improbable mental resilience and stubborn conviction - and that's what most of the other characters overlook. Vash is, indeed, very sensitive and emotional and an idealist - he's also much tougher and more rational than hardly anyone gives him credit for. He's an excellent judge of character too!

His ideals and that stubborn faith are everything that makes Vash who he is.

This scene in episode 12 is the only true moment of triumph in what is otherwise a tragedy all around. Nai would go as far as to destroy Vash’s very identity to get his brother back, but at the cost of losing everything that makes him Vash. These ideals are the core of “Vash the Stampede”, and no matter how foolish they may seem or how little others understand his conviction, this is an identity he has chosen for himself. It’s who he is. And this assertion, coming directly on the heels of Nai trying to erase him and remove that autonomy, is an undeniable brief triumph in the midst of it all. Nai will always be Vash’s brother, and he will always love him I’m sure, but they diverged in their persons a long, long time ago, and Vash adamantly refuses to be an extension of or accomplice to his brother’s crusade of hatred… even if that means going against him.

Vash’s kindness is so necessary to a world like the one we see in the series, on the verge of extinction and giving up. Approaching situations with understanding and communication is really the only way to help improve understanding amongst others - and this is one of his biggest strengths; it's even reflected in his use of his Plant abilities (communicating between himself and the other Plants, the way he can open a path both to and from the higher dimension unlike anyone else). In this way, Vash is something of a necessary conduit. I just wish he'd let himself feel a little more tbh. He represses a lot - he canonically won't allow himself to cry if he feels responsible, any flashes of anger are brief, he doesn't stick around to have fun really. Personally, I'd like to see him allow himself grief through tears, a little bit of genuine letting loose and celebrating, and actually expressing things like irritation and annoyance next season. Perhaps that's wishful thinking.

I don't know how to accurately summarize my thoughts on Vash well enough other than to say, in keeping with the whole Plant thing, he reminds me strongly of dandelions. Bright, cheery, grow through cracks and root where you don't expect them to ever be able to eke out a living. Regarded as a weed by many but very difficult to get rid of. Hardy, resilient, and pop back up after being beaten down. Kids make wishes on them.

Anyways. Hugs him hugs him hugs him x 60,000,000,000

[subskz]

i don’t know why, but jisung gives off serious energy of someone who’d say, “ooh you wanna kiss/fuck me so bad~” during an argument… and he’d be so fr abt it too 😭 severe brat behaviour smh. honestly he’s too cute so if he said that, i would just prove him right… </3 omg i am always caught lacking on this blog when it comes to him 😮‍💨

we’ve established that he’d appeal to your soft (n maybe not-so-soft) side by crying when you’re angry, but other times, i think he’d also try childishly teasing u nonstop in order to get out of an argument, so that u finally reach the breaking point and snap, releasing all your frustrations by ruining him into tomorrow (reminds me a bit of ‘pay attention’… pls excuse me as i go reread that masterpiece of a fic for the nth time)

yknow, with minho being the funky lil guy he is might say it too just to throw u off, i mean god knows he does the most outta pocket things sometimes. would say it with that trademark straight face, but then ! then see the little pastel blush tinting his ears !! how could u ever take his little facade seriously when his body tells all his secrets ♡ gets unreasonably surprised when u actually follow through with his snide remark, like he would get so shy if u pulled him by his shirt collar into a kiss even though was the one who initiated it

same goes for seungmin when he gets into one of those hyperactive puppy moods of his n just wants to play with u, so he’ll bother u out of affection n say whatever he thinks will get the best reaction out of u

waitt i could also picture chan saying it in the heat of the moment if you’re just playfully bickering bc secretly he’s always wanted to say smth like that but then immediately getting SO embarrassed n shy with himself ^^; cue him hiding in his sweater paws n letting out soft, high giggles of embarrassment (i know you know the kind i’m talking about </3)

— 🌸

we must be on the same wavelength bc i immediately thought of jisung lino and seungmin when someone asked a similar question as well 😭 our insufferable lil trio

hannie would be so fr abt it…the moment he realizes he’s losing the argument he’d say it without an ounce of shame lmaoo it can be so hard to make him take anything seriously esp when he can get a lil petty when he’s emotional…he is not above resorting to crying (sometimes he doesnt even mean to…sensitive baby) or throwing out the most childish retorts to try n get the upper hand, but he’s kinda endearing abt it and laughably obvious abt what he really wants. he might not be content w losing the argument but he is content w surrendering the moment u decide to put him in his place and wreck him until he can’t run his mouth anymore 🙏

what u said abt lino got me so good also…it’s the most lino thing on earth to throw out a provocative comment like that just to get a reaction out of u, and then crumble the instant u actually return that energy to him…like the way he gets all up in ppl’s faces then shies away when they actually lean in…kitty can dish it but he cant take it! the lil sputter of surprise he’d let out when you pull him in and kiss that crooked smirk right off his face would be so adorable, he breaks instantly ): and his ears would absolutely be on fire!! no matter how smart his pretty mouth is, his body is always betraying his true feelings~

seungmin’s hyperactive puppy moods 💔 he can be just as good at lino at saying exactly the right thing to get u riled up…but in his case you’d get that irresistible proud puppy grin bc he knows exactly what he’s doing n isn’t even trying to hide it! but what he doesn’t expect is for you to follow through n leave him w the cutest wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression staring back at you…the one surefire way to make him short circuit so he has nothing clever left to say anymore <3 he’d definitely try to use it later n claim that he won the argument w his irresistible puppy charms

and CHANNIE! i hadnt even considered him but ur absolutely right…him and his tendency of not thinking it through before saying the most deranged things known to man and flustering himself so bad 😭 u wouldnt even have to do anything for him to just fold immediately and break out into those infectious squeaky giggles, cringing so bad…he’s losing the war against himself but just like jisung he’s cute enough that he gets away w it every time ㅠ imagine how shy and red-faced he’d get when you pull his sweater paws from his face and kiss him just like he wanted…i think his brain would fizzle out!! never has an attempt at teasing backfired so spectacularly

[laundrybiscuits]

(wait for the season to come back to me tag | 1 | 2 | 3)

“Okay, so when you say you were a monster, what do you mean?” asks Robin.

“Ah-ah-ah, pay attention, Buckley. This is important.” Eddie kicks up his feet, arms stretched across the back of the couch. “I am a monster. Present tense.”

“What kind of monster?” Robin’s voice is very even, but Steve can see the way she’s gone still. 

“It’s funny,” says Eddie. “Harrington hasn’t asked a single question about that.”

Robin gives Steve a look. It’s not hard to guess what she’s thinking. She’s not wrong, but—it’s just seemed so much more important to show Eddie the photos, in case it might make Eddie smile. He'd just wanted to get Eddie to stick around a little longer. It had seemed important.

“So, here’s the rundown,” says Eddie. He’s still leaning back, eyes half-lidded, but his voice has sharpened to something firmer and more authoritative. “I’m basically a vampire. The labcoats gave me some kind of fancy official scientific name, but I drink blood and fly, so they can suck my undead balls. Animal blood’s okay to keep me going, but I need a hit of human every so often or things get funky. I’ve got a hookup at St. Joseph’s, which is why I’m in this damn city at all. Um, what else…oh, sunlight’s not great for me. I’m a bona fide card-carrying creature of the shadows now.”

“Shit,” says Steve. “Wait, where are you staying during the daytime? Is it safe?”

Eddie stares at him. “That’s your next question? What the fuck, Harrington.”

“Hey, hi, I have questions,” says Robin. “This St. Joe’s hookup, what exactly is he giving you? How did you find this guy? Have you ever killed anyone? How worried should we be?”

“Well, the answer to that last question is complicated.” Eddie winks at her, grinning. “But don’t worry, Buckley, I’m not gonna eat you.”

“Uh, good,” Robin snaps. “You’re not exactly my type, Eddie.”

“Oh!” Eddie clutches at his chest, draping himself over the side of the couch. “The heartbreak, the agony, how will I ever recover. ‘Tis a mortal wound, Lady Robin.” 

“So where are you staying during the daytime?” Steve asks again. 

Eddie sits up. There’s some fluff in his hair, because they don’t clean their couch basically ever. “There’s an empty building around Logan Square, think it used to be a hairdresser's or something. I just need somewhere with cover during the day, so I’ve been camping out in the back room. I’ve got—they’re giving me, like, an allowance as long as I come back in for testing every month, but it turns out it’s kinda complicated to rent a place when you legally don’t exist.”

“Stay here,” Steve says instantly. “You should stay here.” He glances at Robin to double-check it’s okay, but she’s already nodding.

“Yeah, Eddie, don’t squat in abandoned buildings. But first tell us some more about your secret blood dealer at St. Joe’s, because I think we need to have a house discussion before we start storing bodily fluids in the fridge.” 

———

Despite his best intentions, it’s been a long day, and Steve starts nodding off around midnight while Robin peppers Eddie with endless questions. 

He swims halfway back to consciousness at the low rumble of Eddie’s voice. It’s coming from above him, and he muzzily realizes that his head is on Eddie’s lap. Good. At least Eddie can’t leave without Steve noticing.

“So…don’t take this the wrong way.” 

“Eddie, nothing good has ever followed that phrase in the history of the world.”

“I just wanna know. It seems like Steve’s…like you’re doing a little better than Steve, with like, me coming back and all.”

Robin makes a considering noise. Steve can picture the exact face she’s making. He stays very still and keeps his breathing slow and deep. 

“It’s not that I didn’t…I think by the time everything went down, back then, I already hated Hawkins. I already knew I wanted to get out and see how much more I could learn about the world. Steve was still hanging onto this whole idea of being normal, you know? He still wanted to stay in Hawkins, raise a family, do all the shit his parents did.”

“Sure,” says Eddie. “Not exactly a surprise.”

��Right, but, the thing is…he would’ve been so, so miserable. I thought exactly the same thing as you when I met him: that he was just another dumbass who peaked in high school and didn’t have the freaking imagination to want anything more than pep rallies and a nice house. But Steve’s not like that at all.”

“I’m starting to see that,” says Eddie softly. His hand ghosts over Steve’s head.

“Yeah.” Robin sounds like she’s smiling. “He’s kind of a weirdo. Anyway, with everything that went down over that Spring Break, I think he finally realized that Hawkins was just a shitty small town in the middle of nowhere, and that if things had gone a little differently for him, he might’ve been Jason Carver himself.”

“Who? Oh right, the basketball guy.”

Robin laughs, still kind of quietly. “Hot tip: don’t say his name around Steve. I think he, like, embodies everything that Steve hates about Hawkins now. Steve totally blames him for your…you know. What happened to you.” 

“Shit.” There’s a rustle as Eddie leans back. “That week really made an impact, huh.”

“Honestly, if it weren’t for you—like, if Vecna had picked some other random victims, I think Steve would still be in Hawkins, married to some former prom queen and hating his life. I mean, obviously what happened fucked me up too, but it didn’t completely reroute my life the way it did with him. For me, you coming back is like, a big deal and amazing and great and also completely crazy. But it's like, an event, you know? It's something new that's happening. For Steve, it’s like one of the most defining moments of his life is suddenly getting a sequel.”

“Glad I could contribute to his character development,” says Eddie. 

“I mean, yeah? So did I? And he contributed to mine, too. That’s just…meeting people. That’s just letting people matter to you.”

“I’m not mad about it, Buckley, christ. It’s just weird to think about, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been platonic roommates with Steve Harrington for like eight years now, and you’re a vampire. I don’t think any of us really know how life’s going to go.”

Eddie hums in agreement, petting Steve’s head a little more. Steve lets himself sink back down into sleep, safe and warm and known.

[exoticalmonde]

Part III. Hortus de Escapismo Dr. Evealia's Reaction

Transcribed: [The executor suddenly points.

Federico: Come out.

Lively Child: Ah... he found us.]

They are so cute but god do I need Executor with his gun pointed at the little kids and their reaction being... 0. Like, absolutely not impressed and simply disappointed he did find them so quickly.

---

READ MORE to find out what happens to the cute little blue-haired child with the adorable duck sock puppet by clicking this funky little button.

(But WARNING, the following post contains spoilers about the entire Hortus de Escapismo event, including the story, art and my commentary. I think this part is covering HE-4 to the first half of HE-6)

THEY ALMOST FREAKING EXPLODE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS HOLY MOLY STOP TRYING TO GIVE ME HEART ATTACKS ONE OF THOSE WILL BE REAL!!!

---

No... My heart, oh no, not the flowers...

Transcribed: [Gerald once said the Sakraz have no home, only war that follows them wherever they go. They swore to their lord in the hope of finding a home of their own.]

---

Oh Clément I am so sorry... Stupid wench was she the one who set the chapel on fire? Is she even capable of using that kind of arts? Or is this an illusion? I am actually really heartbroken, I like Clément and I was really happy that he existed as a fellow Felafia, but... Why is it just not working out for this guy?

I'll get you a greenhouse with all you need it in babo, stay strong.

---

Yeah, my heart is.

---

Transcribed: [Race is not proof of innocence. I would not hesitate to destroy the sacrarium if I thought it necessary.]

*Hands Federico the 'best not racist' award*

Or ultimately

*Hands Federico the 'most racist' award*

At this point I don't know, but you do what you're doing.

---

Hey, the baby ducks found a new mom.

---

Transcribed: [

Lemuen: Quiet. This is a resedential area. You'll bother the others.

Twisted Monster: (Growls)]

You know what, forget the whole 'amazing strong character' trope that Arknights has going on for everybody, can we just sit and enjoy the fact they always talk to themselves, or to something that is supposedly incapable of understanding them the same way every person speaks to their pets. They don't expect a reaction, and in moments where it FEELS like it was a reaction they have a kick out of it, but otherwise they're... so sweet to watch. In a horrendeous and terribly traumatic way.

---

Transcribed: [The Executor kneels down. No one pays attention to the dirt on the edge of his robe, and the adornments that represent his status.

Federico Giallo gazes straight into the children's eyes.

Federico: The disappearence of an inhabitant is within the scope of my mission.

Federico: Yes, I will find your mother.]

What a wonderful, wonderful, amazing scene. To watch Federico retain his personality but also grow as a character after being introduced to his tasks in the new role he carries is so refreshing. Reading the story feels so short, the levels are hell, but the way he is growing is GOOD and well-paced.

---

Honestly, bast scene. I don't care what terrors and sadness or how cool they will be, this is peak interaction.

---

[Quite the lady's man, aren't you?]

GERALD YOU TEASE!

---

Shots fired, yet no guns were raised.

---

What do I feel about Aulus apart from the fact he kind of reminds me of a taller Pantalone (Genshin Impact)? He fed the creature, he protects it and then just shows up here and there to talk to people and refuses to elaborate. What is your plan? What are you even doing with your life, Father Aulus?

Though guys, I think he found the coolest stick...

---

SHE STOOD! SHE STOOD UP!! LEMUEN???? STOOD UP??? FROM HER WHEELCHAIR????

---

[You may not set foot in Paradise.]

LOOK AT HER GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

---

[The thin door plank is pushed open from the outside.]

I want to die.

ANYTHING BUT THAT PLEASE

[The unsuspected visitors do not disturb their soft breathing.]

[It falls into the soft, meek little 'prison'.]

Wait a second...?

[Twisted Monster: Eren... Sara...]

Oh thank GOODNESS, my heart was about to leap out from my chest. What a rollercoaster. I am so glad they're safe, thank you.

[matt-imagines-popcorn]

Hey! This is my first request so sorry if it's kinda funky!

May I please request romantic headcanons for zeku, Seth, and juri with a himbo reader? Like the reader is huge and buff (a little chubby), but he's so oblivious to everything.

Please and thank you. Sorry if this doesn't make sense.

Hell yeah we need more himbo readers out there lol

Warning; Yandere/Unhealthy relationship for Seth's bit!

Juri, Seth, and Zeku with a himbo boyfriend!

Juri Han

See the reason that it took so long for the two of you to hook up finally was that Juri just assumed you ignored her advances as most people did. But she caught on quickly during one of her handsy moments and saw just how flustered it made you!

“All your brains must’ve gone to your muscles big guy!”

She’s a bit mean about it and will subtly poke fun at your intelligence a bit, finding it funny watching her boyfriend slowly realize that she is either being a jerk or a flirt. But no one else is allowed to insult you like that - only her. She’s like your mini guard dog [which is a bit funny to imagine, considering you could probably lift her up by one arm if she allowed you]. She makes sure no one takes advantage of her boyfriend.

As much as her comments about your body are, more likely than not, sexual [or at least, a bit flirtatious in nature] she really does love the size difference the two of you hold. Something about it gets her going and makes her - almost giddy in a way. Especially your tummy. Yeah, she might tease you about it but never out of malice - she thinks it's cute.

Seth

Seth is quite hard to pinpoint on this subject. On one hand, they're an egotistical sadist. They don’t generally view humans as equal to them - only ranking them by their usefulness. You, at least seem to be strong - but too clueless to be of any benefit to them, too easily manipulated by others. However, I see this as a sort of reason they're so drawn toward you. Believing you're no better than one of Bison’s dolls. But it's when you prove them wrong, they become… different towards you.

Similarly to Juri, Seth does poke their own little fun at your obliviousness - through their much more obvious and harsh about it, not fully expecting you to catch on. Their also less defensive over you, allowing others to tease you as well but only up to a point, and it never ever gets physical. Anyone who is caught being hostile to you is as good as gone.

Seth’s new body had made their mind break. Not only has their hatred for M.Bison increased but their need to protect you as well. Sometimes they malfunction and view your close friends and family as enemies using your ignorance against you. You can try to escape them but know that they will not stop searching for you, destroying anything in their path to get to you.

Zeku

If he found someone he really likes, I imagine Zeku can be a big flirt. He thought at first you were joking with him whenever he tried to hit on you or perhaps even playing hard to get - but thoughts of those quickly disappeared once he started to pay more close attention to your actions and realize you’re just oblivious. Which is fine by him of course! Means he just has to be more open about it s’all!

Old Zeku is more than happy about being more physical and clear about his love and appreciation for his boyfriend - it's the young Zeku who has a tiny problem with its. He’s much more subtle compared to his more aged counterpart and anything above simple touch is enough to get his face all red. Old Zeku finds it hilarious watching him try to flirt and you just not catching on - at all.

Zeku never pokes fun at his boyfriend, especially for his intelligence! He understands that you’re smart! Just a bit clueless about certain social cues, which has caused him to be a bit protective. Old Zeku knows that you can handle yourself well in conversations so he mostly lets you take over, till he notices someone being rude - young Zeku doesn’t fully understand that yet and oftentimes, intimidates your friends into silence.

Sorry, this took a while! Seth and Zeku were bloody difficult to figure out. I think I got Seth semi right but Zeku was a bit tougher. Might rewrite his one-day :P Hope it was still enjoyable non the least!

[thekoicupid]

Hey! Can I request some angst headcanons for Bloodhound? I like the funky enby guy! :) It can be platonic or romantic, your choice! :) I don't care if there is pain/no comfort, or if there is a happy ending, but maybe it could be about the reader being a legend and hating Bloodhound for continually beating them, since the reader admired them before getting into the games ? I imagine this could be resolved by them talking things out, or the reader admitting to them that they were a big fan and then discussing :)

Hello, I know you asked for HC but when I read your request I could only think of doing a fanfic because this idea is so perfect

It was already the seventh time in a row that this had happened, only your team was left and Bloodhound's team, his teammates had been eliminated, and there was a problem to get to the beacon you would have to go through Bloodhound.

Stealthily walking to the beacon was the best idea however it didn't have the expected result, before reaching it everything went out, when your eyes were opened the blank ceiling embraced your vision.

'Shit, again' I thought as I stood up and looked around the room for my team, it wouldn't be hard just to find a green blur that won't stop and a robot looking for a high-five.

Looking close to the door it was possible to see the two of them talking, getting up was the easiest thing, the hard part was going to be getting to them both.

-Hey buddy, let me help you -Pathfinder commented when he saw me walking towards them.

-lo hiciste muy bien amigo - Octane commented while probably smiling from behind his mask.

- I turned to the side to see Pathfinder with his hand outstretched for a high-five, I sealed the two "hands" and walked over and said goodbye to both of them and started to leave the medical area.

It couldn't be worse, I thought to myself as I walked on without paying attention to my surroundings.

I looked again at where I was going when I reached the corridors of the rooms, looked for my name and quickly entered.

Without looking too much I started to take off my equipment, the only thing I wanted now was to lie in bed and forget that I kept losing to the legend that I admire the most.

It was frustrating, no doubt about it, but that wasn't they fault, they just gave the best they could if I train harder I will get past them I can be better than this, I need to be better, the team I fall to is sure to win.

I look in my closet and see my sweatshirt and jogger pants, I better start training now when the sooner the better.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table, it was 6:00 PM, the shooting range should be open and I had never seen that place closed, and if everything goes right I will be back in time for dinner.

Walking towards the range I managed to find Fuse who greeted me and went on his way, the arsenal of weapons was at my disposal looking at the R-301, and now the hour of truth or I get better.

It should be long past time by now the sky was dark with stars, but I don't care about that now I will only stop when I feel I have improved a little if I don't feel it I won't stop.

I could feel my body starting to want to shut down, it was warning me that it couldn't anymore but I couldn't care less I can deal with the consequences of this later.

Another gunshot noise was heard, one that didn't come from my gun, I look to the side and see the one I try to outrun what is he doing here?

-Good night, warrior - Bloodhound spoke as they looked in my direction.

-Good evening - I replied as I walked to get more ammunition, there was no further interaction between us.

An hour of silence must have passed, until I faltered and dropped the gun, tiredness was taking over, Hound had noticed so much that when I picked up the gun and took aim again the vision in front of me was blurred with black dots, in the distance I heard someone calling me but I couldn't answer as I felt my body give way and my vision finally turn black.

When I woke up, I was neither in my usual room nor in the medical ward, I looked to the side and could see a crow, and what looked like the skull of an animal hanging on the wall.

-How are you feeling?-the voice came from in front of me, the Hound mask was looking at me they were sitting in front of me.

-Well, thank you," I said as I stood up, I had no idea what time it was supposed to be but something was certain I had lost yet again to the raven breeder.

I wanted to cry, not of sadness but of anger, no matter how hard I try I will always fall behind.

-Are you sure? You don't sound very good- they voice was calm but distant she was distant I couldn't hold back the tears, I didn't want to have to admit this I didn't want to show my weakness.

My thoughts were too loud, nothing in my reality made sense anymore, not even some of the thoughts did.

But something cleared the thoughts, the very reason for the thoughts Bloodhound was standing in front of me not looking at me but giving me a hug.

-Elskan what ails you? - they voice managed to come out calmer than before.

-I can't, no matter how hard I try I'm always going to fall behind -my best isn't good enough.

-Elskan, it's okay, you do very well no matter what others say, and almost dying of exhaustion is not going to solve this, it will only get worse. - Hound said this and began to make circles with his hand on my back.

- Thank you Hound," I answered as I returned the hug and I could feel my eyes heavy again, "Hound I." I barely finished my sentence as Bloodhound interrupted me.

-you'll sleep here and tomorrow we'll go to the infirmary, I'll keep an eye on you Elskan, go get some rest - was the last thing Bloodhound said before letting go and putting me on the bed.

[bright-and-burning]

hello please can you tell me: a) what your favourite bit was to write of chapter 2 of relax and b) can you tell me more about your headcanons for this line 'to pay attention to the Logan-George-Alex calculus he’s doing in his head'

<3 merci in advance

oooooo thank you thank you !!! (putting this under a cut bc a) long and b) nsfw)

a) my favorite bit to write...

i wrote the club scenes first (like actually before most of chapter 1, that's how early on i had this vision) and they definitely came very easy BUT. i think honestly it's probably a tie between the bit w oscar on lando's lap and that transition between oscar coming and lando getting off??

oscar on lando's lap was just Fun like. writing little bantery dialogue is fun! lando being a menace and forcing his knees to give out so he flops onto her, but also the concussion bit, the air quotes, the making out (i had to think so hard abt kissing for that i was like hang on how DO you kiss??? not in a 'never made out' way in a 'ive never thought abt the logistics before what the fuck is happening' way LMAO). i also think it's a like nice transition from what we Know (soft dommy lando) to this new realm (dom-ish oscar)?

the bits between oscar coming and lando coming are. yeah. im immensely proud of myself for that "He leans forward to kiss her forehead... ...He pulls her forward, and grimaces." section? frankly never written something and then immediately gone oh fuck that's Hot before without having like. at least a month of distance between me and writing it. so probably that bit. especially that first paragraph with oscar leaning over to find her grinding against her wrist. honestly extremely proud of that like. yeah actually that IS hot

b) my headcanons for 'to pay attention to the Logan-George-Alex calculus he’s doing in his head'

HEHEHE this line literally had me rubbing my hands together like a VILLAIN! i actually spent a long time waffling back and forth abt alex's gender for this (initially alex was still a guy!) but i Knew i wanted it to be clear that lando's not the only woman on the grid. and so i made alex a girl! but i wanted to have that line in there (the line came before any of the gender decisions lol) and i was feeling iffy on girl alex + guy george + guy logan. but then i was like omg... all girl 2019 rookies........... girl alex + girl george + guy logan.... and my brain shorted out for like 3 minutes

like, the way alex and logan interact being Exactly the Same but alex is a woman? and then you have george and logan's lore (the mentoring and such, and you Know george would be SOOOO george abt having been asked to coach a man, ykwim). and THEN you have obviously george and alex being fuckin weirdos abt each other. and when this was initially just like throwing spaghetti at a wall and they were all guys obviously i am rotating funky eiffel tower dynamics in my head.

so like. toppy alex + her long term relationship w george! but then there's this new guy who folds sooo fast to her poking and prodding and clearly likes her and also his ears turn pink whenever she mentions george so... the thesis here is logan getting his world rocked by bossy george and menace to society alex, i think.

the reason OSCAR is doing this calculus is bc him n logan are friends! and he's like. been slooooowly connecting dots. like watching him blush at alex's teasing and being like ...ok... but then hearing lando complain abt george and alex being soppy and being like ...ok so just a unrequited work crush (he is distinctly Not Thinking abt any parallels to his life. not even a little). but then seeing george and logan at some point like needlessly close and being like ok????? and like looping through a very confused cycle of these steps where the number of ellipses and question marks increases each round. and refusing to just Ask anyone abt it (minus some really weird veiled questions to lando who thinks literally less than nothing of it bc she's always asking him weird questions out of nowhere why wouldn't he). bc a) that would be giving in b) that would maybe cause a Situation and c) it's kinda fun to work out what's going on from clues. it's like a really advanced sudoku. so this bit right now is him seeing alex head over to george and logan cozied up in a dark corner with a smile on her face (or at least you know. not looking like she's just found out she's been getting cheated on) and like recalibrating his mental model of the grid. he probably would've figured it out sooner if lando hadn't taken half of his weird veiled questions as being lowkey abt them. and also if he hadn't been wrapped up in lando in general lol

[iaminjail]

HEY YOU. ATTENTION NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem. anyways hi. so you may know me by many names; iaminjail, eonak, max, guy who draws excusively klavier gavin yet only gets notes on the drawings that aren't klavier gavin, etc. well, now you can know me by another name and that name is POOR. I AM A BROKE ASS LITTLE MAN.

but with your help, i don't have to be! i have started ko-fi commissions where you can pay me money to draw you anything you want! finally, my ace attorney followers can force me to draw apollo and nothing but apollo! my followers who followed for literally anything else can get fanart of literally anything else! i may even draw terrible two fanart after 50,000 years!!!

its all in the palm of your hands (your wallets). now please, spare some coins and i will draw silly little men for you (just read the readable shit first so you don't look like an utter buffoon)

here is my funky commissions chart (examples on the ko-fi itself):

thx for reading please consider this offer of a lifetime (not really)

also pls reblog i do not have many followers so even if you aren't buying you can help :3

[hummingbird-games]

chatty gemmy cathy tonight (who's STILL procrastinating + fighting the anxiety allegations) 🙂

I leave my additional rambling under the cut for your scrolling needs

LOL okay. So. Aside from meager updates and treats on ko-fi, I'm just way too anxious to make a proper new year post??? I've gotten caught in this loop where I want to spill my guts but I don't want to be perceived. So. knowing that most people scroll by posts anyway allows me the illusion that I'm sharing international secrets WITHOUT me acknowledging that I am sharing international secrets. yeah?

HSD:JY #2

as for what I can share here, I've been working--until right now--very quietly in the background and I get a thrill of excitement every time I touch the outline document?? I am also currently job hunting in the hopes of entraining a new place of employment that allows me to pay bills, fund this funky enterprise, and alleviate the physical and mental stress in my bubble of life. yup. but honestly being a game dev is still somehow cheaper than therapy so that tells you EVERYTHING you need to know kjzsfjsjf)

CRUSHED

Confession. I was supposed to fucking REST during the holidays. I was supposed to finish my little reading challenge and spend time with my family, and even if the holidays weren't holi-daying, just focus on my family who I do love dearly and could stand to show it more. yeah um so like I got to talking with some friends??? I mentioned this before lol. but I got to talking. and I got inspired. and then the next thing I knew, I was taking time away from what should have been spent on HSD (if I was gonna be stubborn and careless with said rest) annnnnd started working on Secret Project. or what my sibling calls Secret Project 2025--because I told them that this project wasn't supposed to be worked on until 2025.

Would you like take a guess as to what this secret project that will no longer be secret once I hit the "post" button is?

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any guesses?? give up?

Crushed #2. Previously under the working title "Folded" which I wasn't married to, and then renamed to "Loved" as I got deeper and deeper into the draft.

As it stands, Loved is gonna need some more "love" LOL!! Crushed was a very fast process from inception to production, mostly because writing Corey was as natural as breathing once I let go and Let God ☠️ Loved is Jacob's POV and um....listen, I love the guy, and I love him for Corey but fucking damn, his ass needed three outlines, all of my attention and wanning energy, a cry session, touching grass, and then the acknowledgment that the first draft was not going to be the final draft.

I really love how Jacob's POV came to be, I loved getting to know him outside of Corey and as his own character. and I loved being surprised by things in the draft. But it's so heavy. It's. Soooo. Heavy. Once again I found myself writing about grief (because 1) i'm so original and 2) because another story needed to be told authentically). But. I don't want it to be this heavy game when it's released out in the world. So when I have fresh eyes I will return to it and figure out if there's parts of Jacob's story that I missed due to tunnel vision that balances things out. and ofc there will be the fun things of getting beta/sensitivity readers because of Jacob being biracial--I've done research but certain things need more than my eyeballs on it--.

I'm gonna be super honest with y'all...it would be bat-shit crazy and an absolute dream of mine to get this game out to y'all by the end of the year. like december 2024. the only thing that's holding me back is HSD (because again that should have my full attention...Crushed is my baby but more players care about HSD and ahahah that's valid). The only thing--part 2--that's holding my back is funds. I VERY briefly considered a kickstarter but I'm still not built for crowdfunding and I've already had enough bad ideas 3 days into the new year, and I should spread it out more 🤧

but yeah. the reason this was supposed to be a 2025 project?? because I selfishly want to get to keegan and oke's story, and I KNEW that to get there, Jacob's came first. So in my infinite wisdom I decided to start now to be "prepared" to finish Jacob's POV later. and then I sat and wrote out the full draft.

🤡🤡🤡

anyhoo. there is so. much. STUFF. I wanna say about Loved, and I'm super proud of myself for keeping it kinda vague here, but I promise that if I suddenly get an inheritance from a dead family member, I will put it to good use in getting Loved done AND share all the swirling thoughts in my head about the game. oh and also be able to pay the sensitivity readers for their time and expertise, damn gemini ☠️

THE KNIGHT DANCE

not much to say here except if HSD is the main concern, TKD is the second main concern because I had to shelve this baby twice and HBG is overdue on a sapphic story (yes HSD has lovely sapphic content but as a player you can choose not to interact with it soooooo....)

this one will definitely force me to take initiative and reach out to people for all the roles and I still have Great Fear and Low Brain Cells so once I sit down, review the script, and figure out what roles need fulfilling, we can start cooking with oil!

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

keeping this very short and very vague, but...one of the things I pride myself on and strive to improve and keep up my skills with AND have been complimented on has been encouraged to be in the spotlight in a very low stakes way, but my brain as decided "no pressure" really means "yes pressure" and suddenly I believe myself to be the Worst Candidate. but I'm believed in and I don't want to let people down so it's just...distractions x 10 until I finally exhaust myself and get to work ☠️

i'll get over it just gotta be dramatically anxious first

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GOOD TALK!!!! lol and with that, I think I shall leave tumblr and find a soothing activity to participate in 🤣🙃