#just the extra baggage or whatnot

[thelassoway]

Ted Lasso S03E03 4-5-1

[chuckduckling]

I know it feels natural to compare Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan, since they both end up occupying the same body, but comparing SJ and Luo Binghe (Bingge) makes so much more sense to me.

SJ has baggage that directly parallels LBG’s baggage: they both had abusive childhoods, they both hate themselves and feel unloved, and they use their trauma as an excuse to lash out.

SY, on the other hand, comes from wealth and modern comforts. His baggage is that he’s a transmigrator dealing with knowledge of the original book (also The System) (also a big case of the not-gays).

It’s why I can’t get behind the idea that SJ was born a monster while LBG gets acknowledged as a monster created from abuse. Saying that all of the original LBH’s crimes here were just SJ’s fault...it feels as dismissive as saying LBH’s abuse was Qiu Jianluo’s fault, you know?

(SY can be an unreliable narrator, but remembering details about PIDW is consistently one of his strengths. Projecting those details onto Bingmei, on the other hand...)

More ramblings and quotes under the cut…

(edited to replace MTL analysis with the official translation)

This little excerpt from the 100 Questions extra makes the parallels between SJ and LBG even more interesting, since SJ is rumored to be a lecher (with doubts thrown on those rumors as we learn more about him) while LBG is confirmed here to have assaulted multiple women.

SJ is the villain, so his lechery is a signal to readers of his depravity. LBG is the stallion protagonist, so his lechery is just him fulfilling his role as the male readers’ power fantasy. Doesn't this feel like commentary on stallion novels…? Just me?

Anyways, it seems like SJ gets the vice of child abuser, while LBG gets the vice of serial rapist. Both SJ and LBG share a killer bodycount for their own reasons, though LBG’s is probably much higher.

I sorta wonder if it can be easier for fandom to overlook because:

some of what we learn about LBG is from the untranslated extras

the people who suffer are nameless nobodies

his protagonist halo protects him from all consequences (for example, nobody whose family was killed during one of LBG’s massacres gets to throw Ning Yingying’s bloody ribbons in front of LBG's face and laugh about it while torturing him to death) (just typing that out upset me Yingying baby I’m so sorry!!!)

Even SY comments here on how the Bingge from PIDW feels more alien to him after experiencing the world of Scum Villain and learning to understand Bingmei as his own person.

However, even with his flaws and crimes and whatnot, LBG is still complex, tormented, and sympathetic. He has traumatic reasons for growing up into someone who has done bad things, and he has more to him than just those bad things.

Which is also exactly what SQH says about SJ.

SJ and LBH are both influenced by self-hatred, which acts as another parallel between them. But that self-hatred, that belief that they were born inherently unlovable, doesn’t make them better people. In fact, if anything, it makes them worse.

Self-hatred is not ennobling in the Scum Villain universe. It is self-destructive, and it destroys everything that surrounds it as well.

Thus, I’d argue that these two have both truly earned the title of “poor little meow meow”.

In contrast, I feel like the Huan Hua Palace Master is the one who earns the actual “scum villain” title for SVSSS? He crosses off pretty much everything on the list:

a righteous cultivator who turns out to be a two-faced asshole

a lecher who lusts after his female disciple

has no tragic backstory to explain anything about him, nor any redeeming qualities nor relationships

gets turned into a human stick

dies horribly and painfully for the catharsis of the audience

Of course, this means that there’s a universe out there where someone’s gonna transmigrate into the HHPM and—okay okay I’ll stop.

As always, I'm curious to know other peoples' thoughts...

[nyaagolor]

Werewolf AU

I'm just gonna allow myself to be fully cringe at this point. LFG. It's all under the cut :)

Nemona's family are the descendants of the Paldean emperor, who fell from grace and more or less disappeared after the Treasures Of Ruin + the catastrophe of the Great War with Kalos completely decked the economy and whatnot

The family inherited the king's wealth and political connections, which allowed them to maintain power / status / wealth until the point where they were able to secure themselves as a tech empire within the new capitalist system. Rich people stay rich and whatnot

But being descendants of the king came with extra baggage too-- the king was wildly unpopular and got cursed by basically every witch / mage / merchant / powerful artifact that existed in Paldea at the time. Dude just would not leave the cursed artifacts alone and managed to piss off every magical person and being on the continent so he has a litany of curses

The Treasures of Ruin were sealed and the king died, so a good 98% of the curses and hexes plaguing the king, his family, and Paldea as a whole disappeared. Over time, magic as a practice was mostly forgotten about as Pokemon filled the roles traditionally occupied by witches and warlocks, so everyone forgot about the curses. However, the family still has to deal with a few:

The king once angered a forest spirit by hunting within her woods and was cursed so that his and his bloodline's arrows never find their mark. Tragically this applies to pokeballs as well-- everyone in the family cannot successfully throw a pokeball no matter how hard they try

The king has lousy genetics which has managed to haunt them for centuries. That's not an actual magic thing unless you count being a rich European as a curse

There's also the whole werewolf thing, which is a little more complicated. It doesn't affect everyone in the family, for starters, and only ever affects the wives and daughters. I'm honestly still working on the specifics of the backstory for the whole thing, bc I want it to tie into the AU thematically and also give a reasoning behind who inherits and the curse and whatnot. I will keep yall posted on that one but also am taking ideas bc atm I got nothing

Anyway the curse is related to bloodline, so despite the circumstances for the curse and the mage who did it being ancient history, the curse still afflicts members of the family

It starts when young, and the shifting, because it's mostly driven by emotions, is completely involuntary. It's become family tradition to isolate any werewolf children from the outside world until they can control it / keep their emotions in check, which leads to most of the cursed children feeling lonely because they weren't able to go to school or play with other kids as a child. They do get to interact with anyone in the family though, as they know about the curse and can deal with it, as well as pokemon, who are strong enough to handle it. Don't want ur kid having a tantrum and biting someone with big ol fangs

Speaking of biting bc it's a curse it can't be passed to others by any means so dw about being bit. It'll hurt, sure, but you won't turn into a werewolf

Most cursed kids manage to control the shifting by the time they're around 10, and get to go to school and start playing with other kids around then. By this point they also know enough to not reveal the curse to anyone else

Shifting is dependent on the intensity of emotions like anger and fear so the family suspects it acts a bit like a stress / threat response. It also happens on a spectrum, so there's a pretty wide range of Wolfish-Ness that they can turn to depending on the circumstances. The only non-emotional shifting that can happen is on the full moon-- during the night they shift completely, having lost their minds and acting only on instinct. This is the "lock them in a room you can't reason with them" kinda thing

I see the full moon thing as the equivalent of sleepwalking or being heavily intoxicated. Occasionally there's a vague understanding of what's happening, but all their senses are off the charts and the cocktail of overstimulation, pain from the transformation, and insane bursts of adrenaline makes them unable to be reasoned with. During non-full moon shifting through they have far more control, provided they don't spiral and shift completely

The family does their best to keep anyone cursed out of the public eye and distance PR from them as much as possible, both for fear of their status and power being jeapordized and also because they fear what will happen to the cursed person if people find out

I'll add more later but these are my like. initial thoughts. I feel like the rest of the rival gang doesn't actually know about the curse yet, but roll with it when they do find out-- after realizing your friend's dad got mauled to death by your motorcycle lizard and watched his AI copy time travel I think "werewolves" are pretty low on the weirdness list

[aangelinakii]

THE SWAP

in which black cat makes the swap

chapter : two

character : tangerine

fandom : bullet train

song : zanzibar , billy joel

date : 17th june 2023

as the woman boarded the shinkansen, passengers talked amongst each other as they packed away overhead luggage and marched around to find their seats. she looked down at her ticket; carriage 3, seat 2e. she glanced up, scanning the purgatory between cabin one and two that she stood in. a couple stood next to her, conversing quietly to each other in japanese as they shoved their carry-on luggage into the baggage storage along with the other bags and suitcases and whatnot. black cat offered them a smile before shrugging off her coat and folding it over her arm, strategically covering the silver briefcase she held so closely to her body. if the owners of the real silver case were on this train, she would be foolish to wave around an identical decoy in plain sight.

she stepped through into the second carriage, ticket sat between her index and middle finger as she passed passengers already getting comfortable in their seats.

a much shorter male, dressed in the ticket conductor's uniform, appeared before her, asking to see her ticket. black cat presented the slick piece of white paper, allowing the man to look it over a couple times before he offered a small welcoming smile and stepped to the side. "have a nice trip," he said in broken english, though his confidence shone through, and black cat stepped past him.

black cat lingered in the passing period between carriages two and three for the remaining few passengers to finish packing their luggage into the storage, and to leave the compartment to find their seats.

once the compartment was empty, and she knew the restroom behind her was empty, black cat approached the baggage storage, stacked almost to the brim with various bags and suitcases. she crouched down, placing her decoy briefcase on the floor in front of her as she began to sift through the luggage for an identical case. come on... where was that blue train sticker?

and then she saw it.

the woman emitted a soft gasp when she spotted the silver glint in the overhead lighting, and the blue sticker she'd been keeping an eye out for. she grasped the handle and pulled it carefully out from the back, so as to not disturb the resting places of the other bags.

when she placed it on the floor in front of her, beside the decoy, her eyes widened. if she didn't know any better, she could've mixed them up. whoever this contact of hers was, they'd seemed to have studied the real case as a cat studies the birds outside, or as a student studies the content they need to know for their exams. the silver cases were identical, from the way they shone in the calm shinkansen lighting, to the placement of the blue train sticker stuck on the handle, and to the lock combination.

black cat took hold of the decoy briefcase from either side, and pushed it into place where the real one had priorly been. just for safe measures, she pushed it back a little further with her finger, so it sat more snug between the rest of the luggage, and she pulled away from the scene.

she took hold of the true case and hid it under the cover of her brown overcoat, folded over her arm, and set foot into carriage 3; the place she needed to be.

however, as she scanned the carriage for her seat – 2e, if you needed a reminder – it dawned upon her that, if the briefcase had been stored away in the limbo between compartments two and three, that the owner of it would be in very close proximity whilst she was in her new ownership of their briefcase. and now she promised herself to take extra caution as she sauntered down the aisle, to the double-seater which was apparently home to seats 1 and 2 e.

once she'd sat down, she carefully placed the briefcase in the adjacent seat, the window seat, and then situated her long coat on top of it, so that it sat as naturally as possible.

with a smile, black cat reached inside one of the pockets of her coat and pulled out the snacks she'd taken so long to pick out.

CRASH! glass bottles rattled together, the liquid squirming inside each like a hurricane had struck. a couple crisp packets fell to the floor. passengers gasped as they rose from their seats out of curiosity and mild panic. black cat gasped and her head shot around.

beside her, where the snack trolley lady was making her way down the aisle, a shaggy tall man had bumped into her, causing quite the ruckus.

"bloody fuckin' hell, do you mind?" black cat overheard the cockney voice of a young man. when she craned her neck around further to find the source, she saw the same two men she recognised from the station, sitting diagonally behind her in one of the larger four-seaters.

they both sat glaring at the shaggy man, who was rubbing his shin whilst muttering japanese apologies to the trolley lady. the two bowed at each other before the man carried on his way down the train with his head hung low to hide his embarrassment, and his pace had slowed down in order to avoid another situation like that again.

once she'd patted down her navy uniform skirt, the blonde trolley lady turned to black cat, plastering on her shiny commercial smile. she uttered some words in japanese, which black cat didn't understand, although gesturing to the snacks on her trolley – and she was competent enough to understand what she was asking. "oh, no, i'm okay," black cat smiled in return, holding up her pack of pocky to show the lady she already had some food and wouldn't be needing any of hers. the kind lady smiled and continued down the aisle.

and so, now with that commotion finished with, black cat took it upon herself to open up her pack of pocky, so she could enjoy her to-be short-lived shinkansen journey.

according to the map tucked into the back of the seat in front of her, which she'd pulled out the inspect, the first stop would be shinagawa station, and with the train's high speed levels, it was supposed to take roughly ten minutes to reach it. black cat glanced over at her coat, bundled up on top of the briefcase, and exhaled softly. she had a feeling this mission would go smoothly.

[titleleaf]

much ado with red and white, please!

Yesssss YESSSSSS it's body horror consent issues hours on titleleaf dot tumblr dot com

much ado with red and white (Shakespeare's Histories, Henry IV/Prince Hal hanahaki disease noncon, CW for discussion of incest and consent issues

Where the fuck do I start with this one -- I love bullshit medieval medicine and I extra love bullshit medieval medicine explanations for fantastical or imaginary conditions. There's an incredible fic for Webster's Duchess Of Malfi that takes the fandom omegaverse trope and refracts it through the lens of Early Modern medicine and constructions of sex/sexuality, for instance. Translating the unrequited-love focus of hanahaki disease into an Early Modern-does-Medieval context is a lot of fun, and I drew on then-contemporary writing about melancholy and unrequited desire to get the wheels turning here.

The idea that an unrequited craving can be dangerous or have some permanent effect has fascinated me since I was a kid (Rapunzel's mother just wanted some damn lamb's-lettuce!) and I think I brought to the table here too the story of Amnon and Tamar from 2 Samuel, this intensely selfish desire that flips like a switch to disgust and contempt as soon as it's satisfied. On the one hand it's possible to read Amnon's contempt in that exchange as being driven by shame as soon as sexual frustration is no longer there as an obstruction, kind of a very dark form of post-nut clarity, but on the other it's just the basic-ass grim case of a man who really only wants one thing from the object of his desire and has no respect or regard for them otherwise. Henry isn't in quite that position -- his love for his son isn't exclusively or even primarily sexual -- but him pursuing temporary relief is going to wreck him in the long term.

Incest isn't a metaphor for anything and need not be a metaphor for anything but Shakespeare handed me a blank check for all of my favorite things -- complicated relationships between adult family members, childhood baggage with implications for foreign policy, guilt, anxiety, paranoia, poorly-understood desires, the royal family as a criminal enterprise. Hal's relationship to his father has been not just shaped by but actively distorted by monarchy -- in some ways hereditary divinely-appointed rule is this grand, magnified version of the "natural" state of things under patriarchy, but the reality of exile and usurpation and inheritance and allegiance all within one big already-dysfunctional family just kind of shatters any potential for relationships without a shitload of baggage. Henry's feelings regarding his son are cross-contaminated by the whole range of things he feels regarding Richard II (and about his own bygone youth, health, and posterity) and Hal has to navigate that minefield. Dying from Unrequited Pining Disease because you oops accidentally killed the guy you're pining for and it turns out your son is not, in fact, an adequate substitution... oops.

I looooove body horror and botanical grossness -- hanahaki disease first and foremost looks gorgeous, it's super aesthetic and tailored to fanart and moodboards and whatnot, but fusing it to the idea of the king's body having a parallel relationship to the land he rules (fruitful or sterile, health-giving or sick) is really fun.

I forgot how fucking mean it is to have Hal straight-up go "I'll do this only if you step down and let me become king, I don't want to do this, it's disgusting to me" and Henry being like oh yeah totally totally I'll do whatever you want, I'll give you whatever you want, just let me fuck you, and then not even doing it. There's a third part of this fic series that I need to finish up and post already where he gets some comeuppance for that, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hal is trying to make the best of a really really really bad situation.

It was really hard to figure out a plausible textual background for Henry's own understanding of incest, sodomy, and specifically parent-child incest between two persons of the same sex -- he doesn't understand it as destructive or damaging for many of the reasons I or any other modern person might do but in terms of sexual sin and lechery. Robert Manning of Brunne's early 14th century poem Handlyng Synne outlines incest as one part of the seven-part sin of lechery, and it's very explicit about the degree of closeness being part of the problem, here, have a very shitty translation:

Þe þryddë synnë ys þe werst | The third sin is the worst,

Þe clerk[es] calleþ hyt 'yncest,' | the clerks call it 'incest',

 whan men take kyn yn felawrede | when men take kin in fellow-rede

And wyþ hem doþ doun flesshëly dede; | and with them doth do fleshly deed

Þe ner[ë] syb she ys hys kynde, | the closer-related a family member she is to him,

Þe morë plyȝt shal he þere fynde | the more plight shall he there find

There's a whole constellation of fucked-up sexual-sin concepts floating around for both Henry and Hal, but they actively obstruct either of them being able to articulate what's going on between them (Henry having displaced his desire for a more distant kinsman into a nearer one, even) or why it's damaging. Henry's trying to make a deal with what he's doing like it's different from other sins only in severity and it's not going to work out amazingly for him.

I forgot I use the idea that semen is the same kind of life-essence found in bone marrow in this fic and having spent the week elbow-deep in rendered bone marrow, it's especially narsty. Henry ejaculates a horrifying amount across all three of these fics since it seems so intuitively linked to the idea of somehow consummating an unrequited desire but it's all absolutely ghastly.

The title of this fic comes from one of my favorite pieces of Shakespeare writing, Katherine Duncan-Jones' paper on contemporary receptions of Shakespeare's Venus And Adonis -- taken from the letters of William Reynolds, a deeply unwell Elizabethan citizen and prolific correspondent with lots to say about religion, sex, politics, his monarch, sex with his monarch, and the content of Shakespeare's verses:

(It's just a funny off-handed summary of the content of Shakespeare's elaborate wordplay, to me. Like saying Hamlet has lots of stuff about flowers and recorders and shit.) I write about a lot of characters who've fully bought into the whole white-skin, rosy-cheeks, red-lips paradigm of beauty and incidentally a lot of characters with easily-flushed faces, both Richard and Hal among them. Pale sick skin and flowers, jizz and blood, it's all happening in this fic.

[blogmines]

Keep Your Skin Healthy and Glowing While Travelling With These Essential Skincare Tips

Travelling sets the soul free, refreshes the mind but can take a toll on your skin – whether it’s the dry air of an air-plane or the harsh sun of a tropical destination. Exploring a new place, culture, food and vibe brings you a thrill, though your skin might not like it much. Travel planning and preparations consume so much time that personal care stays at the bottom of the priority list.

You might shop for the best clothes, book a luxurious hotel or plan for an exotic location but nothing would convince your skin to glow and flaunt its charm. Skin craves attention and you have to be religious with it. So for your skin, do you have to compromise the joy of your trip? Naaah, not at all. There is no need to put extra efforts or design a master plan for building the right travel skincare routine. Just following a few simple tips and adding the right products to your bag will do the part.

If wanderlust inside you is demanding an expedition to get rid of a boring routine but your skin’s health is stopping you, worry not we have bought you some simple yet effective skincare tips that will keep you glowing on your entire trip. But first, let’s know how traveling can affect your skin.

WHAT DOES TRAVELING DO TO YOUR SKIN?

There are many factors that can cause havoc on your skin while you are on the go. Here are some common skin problems that can occur when you travel.

Dryness:

Dry climates and air-plane cabin air can suck the moisture out of your skin, leaving it feeling parched and irritated.

Dehydration:

When you’re flying, the air inside the cabin is much drier than usual, which can lead to dehydration – both internally and externally.

Sun Damage:

Whether you’re hitting the beach or exploring a new city, chances are you’ll be spending time in the sun. And while a little sun exposure is good for your health, too much can severely damage your skin.

Pollution:

Air pollution is a major problem in many cities around the world. This pollution can clog pores and lead to breakouts, as well as cause irritation and dryness.

Dirty Environment:

If you’re staying in a hotel room or hostel, chances are the sheets and towels haven’t been washed in a while. And if you’re camping or hiking, you may come into contact with dirt and pollutants that can clog your pores and cause breakouts.

Stress:

Travelling is exciting but it is also very stressful. Packing, commuting, punctuality and many other factors add extra baggage of stress to your trip. And it is nothing new that stress is one of the biggest enemies of skin health. It makes the skin look very dull and tired due to fatigue.

TRAVEL-FRIENDLY SKINCARE TIPS FOR RADIANT SKIN:

As we are now aware of the effects of traveling on the skin, let’s see the ways through which you can defend your skin from the woes that can snatch its shine.

Stay in frequent touch with cleanser:

While you are traveling in a completely new place, your skin has to battle pollution, dirt, sweat and whatnot. Regularly cleansing your face will help remove dirt, oil and makeup that can clog pores and lead to breakouts. This will help the skin to be defended against problems.

Pick a pocket-size face wash that can easily fit in a side bag. Face wash will give your skin a fresh and beautiful look while you are amidst dust and pollution.

Moisturizer will be your skin's reliable friend:

Whether you are following your normal skincare routine or a special travel plan, moisturizer is a must. Dryness and harsh environmental conditions can rip off the skin’s moisture levels. Applying moisturizer maintains the skin's hydration levels and prevents breakouts. It also keeps the skin super smooth and supple.

The type of moisturizer you pick should be based on the destination and your skin type. If you are going to a very cold region or have very dry skin, a heavy moisturizer will be a perfect pick.

Be cautious with your meals:

What you eat gets reflected in your skin. A few days of holiday might tempt you to relish the delicious fast food, sugar treats and plethora of unhealthy food. The flavor that your tastebuds will enjoy, will be hated by the skin. Yes, we understand sometimes guilty pleasure is all one needs, especially in a vacation mood, but try to eat it as little as possible. Don’t consume meals in bulk instead eat in parts.

Don’t ditch SPF:

Whether you're hitting a tropical region or exploring a new city, always remember to wear sunscreen. Choose a formula with an SPF of at least 30 and reapply every two hours for optimal protection.

Pick up some sheet masks:

Sheet masks are a great way to keep your skin healthy even when you're traveling. These soaked papers act as a good alternative for the other products that can be hard to take with you on vacation, like serums and special creams.

Say ‘NO’ to make-up:

If you're about to board a plane or get on a boat, it's important to always be makeup-free. A lot of people opt for a tinted moisturizer when traveling, which is often better than heavy makeup. But the best way to protect your skin is to stick with SPF and your day cream so your skin can breathe. Changing weather conditions and the atmosphere can cause your skin to break out—especially with any makeup.

SUMMING IT UP:

Travelling can be a wonderful experience, but it's important to prepare your skin for the different climates, with extra care and protection. Travelling can be tough on your skin, though with the right preparation and knowledge, you can minimize the effects it has on your skin. Be sure to pack good sunscreen and moisturizer, and don't forget to wash your face if you're worried about breakouts, consider bringing along some blotting papers or an oil-absorbing sheet mask. And finally, don't forget to have fun! Relaxing and enjoying yourself will help reduce stress levels, which can also impact your skin negatively.

Source link : https://www.refreshyourlife.in/blog/keep-your-skin-healthy-and-glowing-while-travelling-with-these-essential-skincare-tips

Tags : #orderonline#refreshyourlife#shopnow#skincare#bodycare#skincareroutine#selfcare

[theroyalmisfitmess]

okay hi. q: what would you like to see as the catalyst for creddie? I love the idea that carly starts pining first too. have a nice day!

OOO GOOD QUESTION. i have so many ideas about for this. some set in a more specific situation than others, unfortunately. but to sum it up, i want a good, gradual build-up:

- i think right now, feelings aren’t involved. freddie was genuinely concerned over carly as a friend and carly was looking for a way out of being argued upon. however, camera angles matter. so while they don’t indicate feelings right now, they could be counted as a tease

- catalyst 1: carly will see who she really prefers by putting beau and wes in the same place at the same time and checking how they respond to the situation (i see it as something for icarly). harper calls out carly again and asks Carly what she truly wants, gives carly tips, and whatnot. of course the plan carly does backfires and sets wes and beau off, angrily. freddie then helps carly out and carly has this odd realization that freddie’s response of the situation was her ideal response from either beau or wes

- catalyst 2: carly ultimately chooses between wes and beau, but increasingly starts to spend more time thinking about freddie. wes/beau notices and gets jealous

- catalyst 3: i think this is something i truly want to see. at this point, freddie does not have feelings for carly. if he were to gain feelings for her again, i think it would be through millicent. let me further explain... gwen is out of town and mrs. benson can’t be there for millicent because of an emergency. carly steps into the role as marernal figure in a school event. millicent gets injured and freddie catches carly caring for millicent. he feels something and knows it’s familiar

- catalyst 4: perhaps freddie meets a nice woman who is almost perfect. no nonesense of trying to break people up, we’re way past that. but suddenly, oops! a double date situation where wes/beau, due to not holding it in anymore, mentions the elephant in the room: carly likes freddie. awkwardness ensues. wes/beau break up with carly and then freddie’s date decides they can’t get together. carly and freddie have a heart-to-heart. no kiss. no makeout. no sleeping together. just a mature conversation between adults. did i base this off b99's road trip ep? yes. yes i did

- catalyst 5: THE BIG ONE. something gets pulled from the past. honestly, i don’t fully know what i want yet for THE BIG ONE, but i just know that it has to be painfully disruptive to the present. i'm against what others are saying about carly and freddie getting together or hooking up once carly got back from italy; it would be a total disservice to their platonic friendship if that happened. i'm pretty sure they talked about the kiss even before carly left for italy (when he helped her get her bags). i am also aware that their romantic history may have been counted as "complicated", but let's not read into this too much right now. what i can see as THE BIG ONE from the past is some sort of letter, gift, or secret that wasn't given or found out. again, i don't fully know what this is yet in my head, but it's so big it can wreck a purely platonic relationship. it could be a pact, but it feels way too simple to wreck

- carly and freddie have an argument starts off petty with teenage points brought up, but escalates to diplomatic and debate-like. carly argues that freddie deserves better than what life is offering at him. freddie then tells carly the same and how someone still "whole" like herself doesn't deserve "damaged goods with extra baggage". then there could be this entire part where freddie calls their entire argument ridiculous and rambles (more so about how his life is screwed up). he could maybe question about being last choice at everything and then i imagine something along the lines of:

"You were never last choice, Freddie."

"But I was never first, right?"

"Almost twenty years ago, maybe..."

"But now?... I thought so..."

"I love you, Freddie. I just wanted you to know that."

"I know... I love you too."

and they don't kiss or anything. it's just that. i'd rather their first kiss be in a season finale instead (like jake and amy's in b99 or have it end like the office's "the job").

anyway, i have some other ideas but explaining them would be too time-consuming and lengthy. this is the main framework i want to happen though. it doesn't have to be exact, but i'm just not a fan of those planning-to-break-love-interest-and-other-person-up arcs as well as sudden kisses and hook-ups. i love conversations between characters as they feel more raw and vulnerable

[yesfxckyxu]

☕ 🍀

mun asks.

☕  - Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

mmm, i do love tea. coffee more on rare occasions, but i am always up for tea. i like a lot of teas, especially those that you can add creamer in - and no like the typical milk or whatnot, but sweet creamers that you typically add into coffee instead! that is very fun. like having black tea/Earl Grey with hazelnut creamer. 

☘ - Wildcard! Ask the mun anything you’re interested in finding out.

“your least favorite thing about writing in general/writing for Jack”?

least favorite thing for writing Jack... this is a very, very good question since it has me thinking. i think that the thing that gets give the idea of it being my least favorite aspect of writing Jack is: him being a difficult character to get along with when it comes to him building genuine relationships. and i don’t say this as a ‘bad’ thing, either. just more that is can be frustrating when it comes down to building the more ‘easy’ friendships that shouldn’t be that hard to build. 

but due to Jack having so much ‘baggage’ mentally and emotionally, it is not easy, especially when his paranoia is triggered. so it becomes my least favorite when there are those extra steps and i feel it may discourage others from wanting to take those steps with me. it’s part of his character, and i would never change it - i just hope that is never discourages others like i fear it might. 

[mikiruma]

I'M CLOSING TWITTER FOR THE NIGHT JESUS CHRIST ANYWAY I'M JUST GONNA INFODUMP UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I'M GOING APE

HI I SPENT ALL DAY WANTING TO/STARTING TO WATCH TOTAL DRAMA SEASONS 4 AND 5 BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE MIKE&.... AND MOOMOO DECIDED TO WATCH WITH ME BECAUSE THEY BINGED TDI SOMEWHAT RECENTLY..... AND IT TURNED INTO ME PERIODICALLY PAUSING TO TALK ABOUT OUR OWN SYSTEM AND COMPARING MIKE&'S WITH OURS SO AN 8 HOUR EVENT TURNED INTO AN ALMOST (CHECKS TIME) 12 HOUR ONE..... they went to bed a while ago so i'm finishing s5 by myself.... and it was cool because i know now they're wanting to get to know the others and ask questions and be involved(!!!!) BUT ALSO i know mike& in general is a controversial character.... but as someone who sort of relates to the internal conflict in a weird way or has this being our first time witnessing someone with DID have their alters identities respected and not being treated like a complete weirdo for being plural... i mean there's the mistreatment a la chris and scott triggering a switch intentionally to help himself in a competition.... but other than that!!! and the ending to s5 which i have not reached but spoiled myself with because i wanted to know what i was getting into before i started!!!! i'm legit falling in love with these guys and want to see them go places and it makes me appreciate the one fanwork i've seen rewriting them a bit even MORE...... also i know mal is the most stereotypical/worst rep of anything, for having a persecutor and knowing their roles i SHOULD be saying it's a little singlet bait-y and knowing they added him in the story as the main villain because they knew that's what people would have wanted to see instead of a system achieving healthy functional plurality.... but he reminds me a lot of our persecutor and how they acted back in the day, we haven't entirely patched up and they still have stumbling blocks sometimes but after getting to know them and realizing they're acting in good faith (even if the good faith is spelled out with self-sabotage), i just have a feeling maybe i need to psychoanalyze mal. ESPECIALLY because of mike (and to an extent the show) treating his headmates like EXTRAS instead as other fully fleshed people (at least in s4, though they got their moments to talk to each other and cooperate) and taking control/acting like the others were getting in his way of *his life*.... and mal being the host before but being locked away and having to force his way out and rule with an iron fist before he was given any mind.... that guy needs a hug. and everyone else (MIKE ESPECIALLY) may need to learn how to communicate better. mal just needs to feel important and get attention when he's doing things that AREN'T being mean or acting out.... also i think i just want to give mal a hug in general. not saying mike is the real villain of s5 but i AM saying when he was working with everyone to overthrow mal, they were very clear that mike being in charge, while better, was still not the best because they get pushed aside and not taken seriously.... so i think if they just went to therapy or TALKED TO EACH OTHER (I KNOW THEY CAN!!!! THEY HAVE A HEADSPACE THEY HANG OUT IN!!!!! IF MIKE WAS ONLY ABLE TO ACCESS IT BY THE COMPETITION NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO GET YOUR WORDS IN!!!!!) then it would have been a MILES better solution than. PERMANENT INTEGRATION AND CHOOSING TO CURE THEIR OWN DISORDER ALL BY THEMSELVES WITH NO HELP BY PUSHING A BUTTON IN THEIR BRAIN JUST TO GET RID OF ONE GUY THEY DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god also i just want to mention i know svetlana was trying to be nice and encouraging saying they needed mike because he's better at some things than some of the other headmates but..... that coupling with the integration...... kind of hammers it in that everyone sees themselves as "extra" :( it makes me want to be more conscious of how i think/talk about OUR headmates because i want to try and make everyone feel welcome and valid.....

anyway sorry for the text wall i just love these guys so much but i HATE THE WRITING and i'm stalling finishing the s5 finale because i know they're going to do it and it's going to piss me off so much and i love ALL of them and want them to be ok..... it's hard for me to criticize much else because i can see us a lot in these guys and how things run.... and i'm disappointed they didn't show much else of mike& purely because i was watching the seasons just for them so everything else felt like filler.... IT WAS ENTERTAINING I JUST.... want to see more of them but WITH THE CORRECT DIAGNOSTIC NAME AND SEVERAL THERAPY TRIPS LATER LOL.....

///////

///////

edit: finished!!! SO! mal admitting he was pushing people away so they didn't have the chance to hurt them first. the others saying integration wasnt getting RID of anyone, just making them a fuller singular person. GUYS I'M SOBBING.... i KNEW mal was doing the typical persecutor song and dance but with the way he even threw around his baggage like it was NOTHING. still upset at the integration since everyone was more willing to cease existing as they were altogether just so mal wouldn't be the host.... it breaks my heart.... ALSO I'M STILL OVER THE MOON ABOUT GIVING THEM A HEADSPACE AND THE LITTLE DETAILS IN THERE!!!! i legit don't know any other media featuring systems that INCLUDED that!!!!! god y'all the end of the system era was pretty disappointing but it just made me think of the guys i'm living with. i know i wasn't a perfect host and was definitely a control freak when i first discovered i was part of them, and every day i try to make that right.... so this just reminded me of those times in awareness infancy where i was like. ok but i'm the one who fronts the most so i must be the real one!!! obviously not true anymore because julian's the host now, i mean i'm still real but knowing that logic is pretty busted... hehehe.... even realizing i was only the host for a handful of years up to that point was a shock!!! but retroactively trying to work things through with everyone and getting us to a functional place despite not being able to see a therapist about it yet... this was weirdly heartwarming in a way? seeing the headmates in their natural habitat, just chilling. seeing them get into internal conflict. dissociation periods used as windows into their mind. mike starting as insisting he was the one in control and who SHOULD be in control, even willing to abandon everyone for zoey, but going to being the least willing to integrate because he would miss everyone and valued their existence.... i know they can only fit so much development in 20 min episodes of a show thats supposed to focus on multiple people (non-systems at least) so i think their story was cramped in that aspect, but if it were a more serious non-reality show focusing more on mike& in general it would have been WAY smoother. but like. i understand the shorthand and can see the allusions and whatnot. i know what they were trying to do. and i LOVE it. it's not perfect but this is the first time i watched something in a good while that felt like it encapsulated ANYTHING close to my personal experiences being in a system and being the disgruntled host, and seeing a little bit of my closest comrades in mike's headmates was just icing on the cake. :) i think the only thing i would have liked better was if instead of an integration they either agreed to work together and be more functional/rehabilitate mal, or if someone new split entirely to act as the mediator.. idk total drama is pretty stressful!! it's the right environment for it!!! and especially the inner system conflict!!! i don't know i think after all that, they needed someone to be the impartial third party to help settle conflicts and junk... just my onion though

[comic-panels]

Comic Review – Mister Miracle

Darkseid has often been presented as THE big bad for large DC Comics events. Much like how the Marvel Movies used Thanos (Thanos is basically a mashup of Darkseid and Metron). He is the existential threat, the final boss and because it's comic books he is an evil rock monster in space that Superman can punch. Darkseid can fill that role fine, but in comics I would say he suffers from overplay. It's hard to remain scary when you lose so many times.

More modern comics (Specifically Grant Morrison's work) have explored the Darkseid as a more internal threat. 

"Darkseid is."

Really playing on the pun of his name, he is the dark side of everyone. As with a lot of Jack Kirby’s work, Darkseid is both metaphor and supremely literal and frankly I think the magic of superhero comics lies in that duality. The part that’s metaphor allows them to be relatable and inspiring, but looking at them as pure metaphor and they break down. The X-Men don’t work as a representational metaphor because being gay doesn’t make you a living weapon who can murder people by looking at them, but it also can work because it can feel like that’s how the world treats you. Ideally there’s a balance.

Also there’s part where Darkseid is a joke.

My first experience with Darkseid was in Superman the Animated Series where he was a legitimately intimidating villain both because of the great voicework by Michael Ironside, and because the actions he took and their real impact.

But as a recurring existential threat he falls flat. Because he's pure evil, he's immutable. He's inflexible.

"Darkseid is."

Maybe that’s not fair. I think he can be a good recurring threat, but often isn’t because resolving a conflict with him takes a certain tact. As scary as he is, as powerful as he is, he’s a villain in Superhero comics. If it comes down to a fight he is going to lose. Superman will win that 1 on 1.

Darkseid as an in your face threat can fall flat because that pure good vs pure evil beat down is straightforward. Where Darkseid shines as a villain is in the shadows. The puppet master pulling the string. Because then Darkseid isn’t just a giant evil rock man in space for Superman to punch, he is also Granny Goodness, Desad, Kalibak, Lex Luthor, and every two bit crook along the way. He is every pain along the way, every compromise, every dark thought, every mistake, every failure.

“Darkseid is.”

But Darkseid is also a literal evil rock man in a skirt. And a joke. So the other way Darkseid really works is when he shows up on your couch.

“Darkseid is.”

Sometimes it’s just a comfy chair or handing you your McDonalds order but the point is he’s just there in the mundane part of the character’s life. His evil permeates everything and because he’s a literal evil rock monster from space sometimes that means an evil eight foot rock monster in a skirt is sitting in your house waiting for you when you get home. “Couchseid” he is sometimes called.

The reason I went through all that is that’s the thoughts and feelings I had about Darkseid going into this comic. The baggage of expectation and desire I had going in. And before I get into the details I just want to say that this comic completely nails this idea. In fact the entire comic embodies it, extending it out to the entire Fourth World. Contrasting the high fantasy war of good and evil Gods with the mundanity of normal life at every level.

Ok, now let’s dig into Mister Miracle.

Mister Miracle written by Tom King with art by Mitch Gerads and lettering by Clayton Cowles opens with Mister Miracle bleeding out in his bathroom having slit his wrists in a suicide attempt. That’s where we start.

“Darkseid is.”

Jack Kirby’s New Gods #1 opens with an epilogue. “There came a time when the old Gods Died!” That’s where we start.

Mister Miracle is a book about dealing with trauma and the trauma at the heart of The New Gods is the exchange; where Darkseid and Highfather exchanged sons to end a vicious war and bring peace to their worlds. This is the first comic I’ve seen question if that exchange was worth it. What does it say about Highfather that he was willing to sacrifice his infant son and condemn him to hell, even though that meant saving countless lives?

This comic can do that because this version of Mister Miracle, Scott Free, is so clearly suffering from abuse and trauma and PTSD and this version of Orion is such a jerk and unheroic.

For Scott and Big Barda the Earth is their home, they have an apartment there, they have normal domestic concerts. Being New Gods and fighting in that war is their day job. But for Orion that war is his life. He is single minded in his desire to destroy Darkseid and his own moral authority. He sees only in absolutes. He’s a cartoon, and in the real world that makes him a monster.

“Darkseid is.”

So there’s another aspect of Mister Miracle that I haven’t talked about that I love and that all starts with Funky Flashman.

Funky Flashman is Jack Kirby’s parody of Stan Lee. Well, of the public persona of Stan Lee. He’s out here shouting “ Excelsior!” and whatnot. Tom King and Mitch Gerads make the most of getting to have Stan Lee in their comic. The whole other layer to Mister Miracle beyond its plot is that it’s also a tremendous tribute to Kirby himself, including his work at Marvel. It’s extra crazy that that made it into this DC comic.

There’s Scott Free’s trial, which takes place in his apartment, that can be read as Kirby up against Steve Ditko’s objectivist beliefs. But the most blatant and amazing is a retelling of The Coming of Galactus and its place within this story. This is legitimately one of my favorite things in any comic I’ve ever read.

It just makes me so happy.

Mister Miracle is a comic I can’t get out of my head. It has so many perfect moments, whether they’re heartbreaking and tragic or uplifting and life affirming; emotional or frivolous, serious or hilarious. It knocks it out of the park on every front. It’s an unbelievable piece of craft.

Back to Darkseid.

In Kirby’s Fourth World Good is always stronger than Evil. That’s foundational. Superman is going to win. Darkseid eventually loses no matter how scary or intimidating he is. But...

“Darkseid is.”

He’s also pernicious and enduring. Ultimately, punches alone aren’t going to solve him. There is some catharsis in that. That’s how Superman: The Animated Series ended; with Superman pummeling Darkseid into submission. But it’s not quite what you want, or at least it’s not quite enough. What’s the answer to “Darkseid is?” What’s the counterpoint? “Darkseid is” is the setup, but you need a punchline.

At the end of Mister Miracle we get exactly that. It’s simple and perfect.

Mister Miracle written by Tom King with art by Mitch Gerads and lettering by Clayton Cowles is a masterpiece and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

So it goes.

Thank You For Your Time.

[peachyzens]

camp counselor! seungkwan au

camp counselor! seungkwan au

genre: flufffff summary: a summer with camp counselor! seungkwan is always destined for fun and memories to last! (2,208 words) a/n: just a disclaimer that i have never been to a camp so my knowledge comes from tv shows and whatnot….anyways here is seungkwan’s installment that should’ve been out like two weeks ago for the seventeen part time job series! series masterlist can be found here!

seungkwan would definitely be a camp counselor for kids

and one summer you just happened to volunteer for the same camp he works at!

honestly i imagine seungkwan in a little camp uniform like the one russel from up wears LMAo

ok but like he loves his summer job as a camp counselor and he’s been doing it every year for as long as he could!!! whether it was an actual paid position or even a volunteer like you are

but when it’s not summer he actually works with kids at a preschool

in conclusion he loves children like a LOT

anyways you ended up volunteering at the camp because your little brother was going to camp and your parents wanted some extra supervision for him

so it wasn’t exactly your ideal summer but there wasn’t anything else you could do about it LOL not like you were going to do anything else

so you showed up to the campsite dragging not one but TWO bags since your little brother was too excited so he ran ahead, leaving you with the baggage

and by the time you reached the campsite he already made friends and you just stood away from all the people

the parents were like interrogating the camp leaders already

so you were like let me hang out here

but then seungkwan approaches you, thinking your another anxious parent

“hello there! my name is seungkwan and I am one of the counselors here, if you have any worries or concerns feel free to ask me!” he spoke in such a perky voice you actually felt your mood get lifted a bit

“uhh, hi.. i’m actually y/n…one of the volunteers here” you responded very awkwardly because he was just BURSTING with radiant vibes

“oh y/n! i’m glad you’re here!!! we normally don’t have many people who apply for the volunteer position so i’m glad you did! let me show you around and get you familiar with the camp!” he spoke, still as perky as ever

he then gestured for you to follow him, but you were still struggling with your bags

he actually started walking already but you were stuck behind trying to drag all the bags

so when he realized he was just talking to air he turned around to see you breaking a sweat trying to drag the bags and actually had to hold back a laugh

he thought it was pretty adorable, how out of place you were in this type of environment

but he vowed to himself to make this an unforgettable experience for you and the kids of course

“let me help you with that” he offered, easily taking one of the bags

you actually let out a sigh of relief

“thank you, i felt like my back was going to break” you joked, earning a chuckle from seungkwan himself

so first he took you over to the bunkers, allowing you to put your stuff and your brother’s stuff in your respective bunkers as he waited outside

because neither of you wanted to carry those bags around any longer

so when you come back out, seungkwan is there, waiting for you with a smile

and your heart kind of flutters a bit seeing how adorable he looks with his cheeky smile and cute little uniform

maybe this camping trip won’t be that bad, you thought to yourself

so seungkwan proceeds to give you a tour of the campsite

he kept up a lively conversation all throughout, you both shared jokes and many laughs

by the time the tour was over it was time for the camp festivities to start, and you were kind of sad that seungkwan had to split away from you but its ok you still had the rest of the summer

you both actually ended up getting really close, sharing many interests!

you were both the perfect compliments to each other, he was the loud one but you were the one to quiet him down

the kids loved you both, well they always loved seungkwan since he started working there but you quickly became another one of their favorites

your little brother was also very popular at the camp for being your little brother, the kids kissed up to him with the goal of getting closer to you

it was so adorable seeing all the kids attach themselves to you, despite them being quite the handful

it was quite a surprise actually, you expected to be awkward and distant with the kids but it was quite the exact opposite

you were awkward with the kids but they didn’t care, they just loved you

seungkwan would always watch with an amused and proud smile seeing the kids listen so well to you

he also found you adorable when dealing with kids, your patient and calming smile and how you would just stare at the kids with stars in your eyes

he was so glad to have you here with him, most of the time the past volunteers were older people who often stayed behind and didn’t interact with the kids as much, leaving the responsibility on him

but you!!! were an angel

he loved that you were so good for the kids and you really made his job easier, since dealing with kids is quite a tough job

“seungkwan, minho stuck crayons up his nose again”

“what??? i just pulled them out like twenty minutes ago”

“well he put them back in aNd WoW would you look at the time i gotta go set up for dinner see ya!!!!” you checked your imaginary watch on your wrist as you dashed away

seungkwan would roll his eyes at your antics, but deal to his duties as the main counselor anyways

“minho, if you put the crayons up your nose once again we are going to take them away, alright?” seungkwan would scold the little boy, with a smile that was sweet but also intimidating at the same time

but the little boy would just nod at him, finally learning his lesson

while seungkwan was quite the fun counselor, he could be serious when he had to

especially when doing more dangerous activities like swimming at the lake or whatnot

but he would be serious in a way that wasn’t too scary for the kids!! they could just feel his seriousness even though he would still be smiling

that was one thing you really did admire about seungkwan

his professionalism and ways of dealing with children was definitely over your head, you don’t know how he did it

like when you had to be serious to a little boy who kept mooning everyone you actually made him cry

but seungkwan came to the rescue and made him stop crying but also explained to him that mooning wasn’t a good behavior at the camp LOL

so whenever it came to scolding you left the job up to seungkwan

but one aspect you excelled in was the arts and crafts activities with the kids!

you were quite artsy yourself, so you enjoyed these activities the most and so did the kids

you would create all sorts of unique projects that would keep kids occupied for a while, and it was during this time seungkwan was thankful for you the most

the past years he didn’t do much arts and crafts, as he wasn’t the best at it

like one of the first activities you did with the kids where you guys were making pipe cleaner butterflies, you had to contain your laugh at seungkwan’s attempt

it was quite the asymmetrical and bumpy butterfly, compared to your perfectly symmetrical butterfly

when he noticed you stifling your laugh he sent you a glare that made you want to laugh even more as you took notice of his burning cheeks

anyways! the kids loved you two both to death

they also loved you two together ;)

there are often times when they would bring up their kid fantasies

“seungkwan, will you let us be the choir for your wedding?” one of the kids would ask him, all the other kids nodding excitedly in agreement

“what wedding???”

“the one you’re going to have with y/n!” they responded happily, cheering and whatnot

seungkwan almost choked on his juice box

“what the, what are you kids talking about?? we’re just friends???” he would say once he recovered, cueing the kid’s mischievous giggles

and the other kids would pester you with similar questions, and you would react in the same way

to be honest though, you really did like seungkwan a lot, but you weren’t sure if it was in the friendly way or romantic way..

like you both clicked very well from the start! and you both were practically the perfect pair in handling the kids

the two of you also enjoyed spending time together, kids included or not

seungkwan felt the same way, he’s never felt this connected to anybody else

also, the way you would smile and laugh with the kids would sometimes linger in his mind

he wasn’t sure himself if he’s just glad to have met someone who works so well with him, or if he was actually falling for you

anyways! time jump to the conclusion of the camp

you both were waving with teary eyes to the kids as they all left one by one, their parents picking up

the kids were crying too, but you two promised that you’ll be back next year!

so when all the kids left and it was just you, your little brother, and seungkwan, a solemn silence took over you three

“did you mean it?” seungkwan broke the silence, his voice a whisper

“mean what?”

“that you would come back next year” he looked up to you, trapping you in his gaze

with a shy smile you nodded

“i would love to, i had more fun than i expected this year. i also got too attached to the kids, and everybody else..like you” you muttered the last part, but it was loud enough for him to hear

with a bright smile he stepped closer to you, forcing you to direct your attention away from the ground and to his face instead

feeling bold, seungkwan wrapped his arms around you, surprising you

but nonetheless you wrapped your arms around him too

you let out a sigh of contentment, his arms enveloped you in a warm sense of security

he was just the PERFECT person to hug, and you couldn’t help but to think you both fit perfectly together :,)

he also savored the feeling of you in his arms, he also felt like you two were the perfect pair

so you both just savored each others touch and warmth, before your little brother interrupted your moment

“mom’s here!!!!” he yelled, tugging on your shirt

you both pulled away with a rosy cheeks, having gotten too carried away in each other’s embrace that you forgot he was there

“y-yeah! there they are, we should go!” you stuttered, nervously rubbing your neck

“well, then i guess this is it for now, we’ll see each other soon,” seungkwan said with a sad smile, almost about to cry

“stop it with that sad face!!! you’re going to make me cry, and who says we can’t hang out even when camp isn’t in session??” you lightly smacked him, you both going back to your regular banter

with a slight smirk, he brushed your hands off

“of course, you think i would just let my perfect partner get away from me that easily?”

you blushed harder than before, nothing but stutters coming out of your mouth

“w-whatever! i’m going now, bye” you huffed and stomped away, feeling the water works build up in the back of your eyes as you stepped away from seungkwan

he could only laugh at your antics, knowing you too well at this point

he waved at your departing car, heart filling up with warmth when he sees you and your little brother stick your head out of the windows to keep waving at him until you were out of sight

with a content smile and warm heart, he took one last look around the campsite

“until next year” he would whisper to himself before leaving

…

“so, when are you and seungkwan getting married?” your little brother asked in the car ride, nearly giving your mom a heart attack

“what!!! are you talking about!!! i’m not getting married anytime soon you little brat” your face flared up again, hand reaching over to cover your little brother’s mouth as your mom gave you a knowing look in the rear view mirror

“fine, how about when will you guys start dating first then?” he asked next, hand slapping yours away

“be quiet you little brat!!!!”

meanwhile, your phone beeped with a message in the midst of your little fight with your brother

i hope you’re free next saturday! i want to take you to this new restaurant i found :) -seungkwan aka your perfect partner, the message read

your cheeks burned once again as you let out a little giggle, typing your response

“oOoOoOoOo y/n’s in love!” your brother cooed

“shutup you lil brat!!!!!”

but he wasn’t wrong ;)

[iorast]

Here’s the thing, Lolo. When you’ve been alive for as long as I have, you, ah, you realize that love–love the way mortals see it, anyways, isn’t as simple as they make it out to be.

Love isn’t undying. It isn’t something that just is. It’s kind of like, uhh, like a garden, maybe. As long as your garden doesn’t have man-eating flowers. Or, well, maybe in some cases, that’s alright too. Um. I’m losing my train of thought here.

Oh! Oh! Love. Right. Garden. So. If you don’t care for your garden, it dies. And it’s not just watering it. No, you have to pull weeds out before they suffocate your plants, and you need to keeps bugs and other animals away so they don’t eat what progress you’ve made. Of course, that’s easy to do for the summer. A lot of people can manage a small garden for sometime. But when the weather gets cold… usually, the plants–uh–the plants die. So you can’t… leave your plants in the cold, obviously. You need to build a greenhouse if you want them to survive the year. And, um, a lot of people…a lot of people don’t do that. It’s too much work. And, like, why bother with a greenhouse when next year you could just get a new garden, right? But–but if you like this garden, then you’ll go the extra mile to keep it, ah, keep it safe in the weather.

Then there’s things that might hurt your greenhouse. Natural disasters. Kids with rocks. You know, the whole nine yards. So when windows break, you need to put forth the time to fix them… and nobody wants to do that forever. That’s why gardens die. Right?

But, ah, alright, Lolo, so, you know what I mean, is… in the metaphorical garden of us… well, um…

I have been alive for a very long time. And I have found… it’s really–uh–it’s really hard to love something for that long. The only thing I think I’ve, y'know, ever come close to loving is my games. Competition. And that is–well, that’s just something that has always come easy to me. Something I didn’t have to work on. I don’t know if I’d still love them if I had to put effort into that love.

But then, you see, then I look at you, little falling star, and I realize that loving you is… a chore. A mighty big one at that, with all that, emotional baggage and whatnot. (Like, seriously, dude, you’ve got a load on ya) But I look at you and, um, I guess I don’t mind the work.

And I wouldn’t mind it if we kept this thing going until the, like, sun explodes, or something. In fact, that sounds like a fun challenge. 

A game, even.

[benotafraidofwriting]

Together, or Not at All

Summary: Dan flashes back to the day Phil asked him to co-host the radio show with him.

“I’ll be right back.” Dan Howell said over his shoulder to Phil Lester as he entered the health food store just off the busy street in London.

Phil merely gave a hum of acknowledgement as he dialed his phone to return a call from a producer.

Dan perused the aisles, looking for a new hypoallergenic soap. His favorite had been discontinued and he was running low.

Dan caught sight of Phil in the shop window, still on his phone. He stopped to admire the sight of Phil, his brow furrowed in concentration and his lips moving as he apparently negotiated with the businessman on the other end of the line.

Despite Phil’s jokey personality, he actually had a good head for business. Granted, he had to use a calculator when he was looking over bills and whatnot, but Phil was good at talking to stuffy-headed people in suits. After all, it was what got Phil chosen for the radio show at BBC One. Dan hadn’t really seen Phil’s power in action until one fateful night in Manchester.

This was back when he was dropping out of university. His spirits were low and he felt as if his life had dead-ended. When he thought of his future, he felt nothing but despair as he imagined himself homeless in a dark alley somewhere, starving and cold.

His ears had picked up Phil’s voice just outside his room, where Dan lay curled in a ball of self-pity and tears.

“Hello, this is Phil Lester. May I speak to Mr. McGuffin, please? Yes, I’ll hold.”

Phil’s voice gradually faded as he continued down the hallway towards the living room. Dan, curiosity overpowering his depressed state, got up from his bed and pressed his ear to the door. Phil was muffled, but Dan could still hear him distinctly.

“Hi, Ted. It’s Phil.”-pause-“Yes, I’m all set to start in May.”

Dan’s stomach sank. In all his fretting over university, he almost completely forgot that Phil had scored a radio show in London and had planned to move next month. He suddenly felt like a proper dickhead. The love of his life had scored the job he’d been yearning for for a while and Dan had been too wrapped up in his own misery to celebrate with him.

Then, his heart froze. Phil was moving and they lived together. What would happen to Dan? He would never get in the way of Phil pursuing his dreams. He also didn’t expect Phil to drag him along. He was jobless and apparently going nowhere in life. He was extra baggage.

His thoughts were interrupted by Phil’s voice. He opened the door a crack to listen better.

“You see, I like the concept of the show, but I wanted to make some changes”-pause-“Yes, I realize this is last minute, but circumstances have changed. I’d like to do the show with someone, to make it a duo hosting.”-long pause-“I appreciate your recommendations, but I already had someone in mind. Have you ever heard of danisnotonfire?”

Dan nearly stopped breathing, listening more intently that he’s ever had in his life.

“His following on Youtube is the same amount as mine.”-pause-“Yes, I realize we’re both unknown to radio, and it would increase the longevity of this show if we brought on a well-known radio celebrity to co-host with me. But, you don’t understand. If there’s no Dan, there’s no me. No me, no show.”

Dan’s stomach had erupted in giddiness. Phil was willing to risk his dream job for Dan? He honestly loved this man.

“No.”-pause-“He gets the same pay as me.”

The rest of the conversation was mainly salary negotiations but Dan’s working brain drowned that out. He got up and did a happy little jig before collapsing on his bed with a breathless giggle. Phil wanted him! Phil didn’t want to leave him behind! In that moment, Dan felt so giddy and happy, he was floating.

A knock sounded on his door.

“Come in!” Dan said, his joy evident in his voice.

Phil walked in.

“Hey, sounds like you’re feeling better.”

“Oh, I am.” Dan said as he bound across the room and kissed Phil softly.

Phil laughed. “Well, good to hear. Want to have lunch? I have a little business proposition for you we need to discuss.”

That was the day Phil asked him if he wanted to co-host the radio show and Dan’s life had changed. They had moved to London together and expanded their profiles, leading to TATINOF and many other projects for them together and separately. Dan couldn’t be happier.

Dan was startled from his reminiscing as another customer jostled him when they walked past. Looking around, Dan realized he had been standing in the middle of the aisle for a good five minutes, just staring out the window at his boyfriend. He sheepishly chose some soap and paid for it.

Phil had finished his call and was playing with his phone when Dan joined him on the pavement.

“That was not ‘right back’” chided Phil, grabbing the shopping bag to hook over his arm with all the other bags from their excursions to other stores.

“I had to choose right, Phil. You know how sensitive my skin is.” Dan shot back, but he was grinning.

Phil just shook his head, smiling back at Dan, and then they walked up the street towards home.

Together.    

[trombonesinspace]

I think The Defenders really needed 13 episodes for its story. If only because that would've given more room for Matt's post-Daredevil season 2 baggage to be properly explored and whatnot.

That would have been nice, for sure. The further we get from DDs2, the less likely it seems that we’ll ever see those issues properly dealt with. Season 3 is going to have its own business to take care of, and I’m afraid all the personal conflict from season 2 will just get swept under the rug and forgotten. It seems like Matt and Foggy resolved some of their stuff offscreen between DDs2 and Defenders, but Matt and Karen clearly didn’t.

But I don’t think it was ever going to happen in Defenders. Partly because spending that much extra time on Matt would skew the balance among the four leads (although, I would have loved more time spent on Luke, as well–how the heck did Foggy get him out of prison so easily? I’d like to have seen the process of finding whatever evidence proved him innocent!)

But also, I just don’t think the Defenders writers cared much about Karen, as a character, or about Matt and Karen’s relationship. If the show had gotten more episodes, that isn’t what they would have used them for. That’s not what they were interested in, and it’s not the story they wanted to tell.

I really hope the Daredevil writers will do right by them, but we’ll just have to wait and see!

[thomas-anonymous-nyc]

April 21

5:06am

I’m not afraid to admit that I really like to drink. That doesn’t make me a bad person, and I don’t need to add on any of the extra baggage that comes with tying my identity to the word “addict” or whatnot. It’s a method I use to procrastinate. I’m the dieter who likes cake and fried chicken, I’m a dude who likes to drink beer and not do anything.

So let’s ween myself off of this the way I’ve done with fried chicken and beer over the next few months. Let’s get pumped to make some progress on those logs, on some dancing, on selfies with narrow jawlines, on beautiful songs and walking basslines I’ll be able to play on my piano.

It’s going to be fun and I’m going to emerge from this with more appreciation for these things I avoid.

3:38am

This is the year dude.

I’m going to finish all this booze and not drink for a while. I’m going to get that body, open up dancing, build all my shit, and tell Mary I’m in love with her. I will get an answer.

And from there, I go into 2021 ready for the future and not lingering onto these things the way I have in the past 2.5 years.

Let’s get hot. Let’s build some shit. Let’s be vulnerable.

Life is short. I’m going to have a lot more relationships, get a lot more physical, and put myself out there.

2:38am

One thing I’ve learned about my tendency to overdrink during these breaks is I really am not an alcoholic. A problem drinker for sure, but at the same time as J says this is a proxy for things. I revert to booze at times when other forms of delaying aren’t quite doing it for me.

In the end, just staying away from it is enough and I can be happy about that and the progress with it.

I’m thinking about Mary and dropping weight. I’m thinking about gaining steam as I bust my ass on projects in the 3rd and 4th weeks.

In my first month of working in 2017, I wasn’t hitting goals in January. It all started picking up in February when I “drew blood” on the acts. In the next month, I’m going to work on drawing blood and believing.

Programming, dancing routines from the beginning, jazz practice that gets progressively better.

The person I’m going to be in September is not going to be the same person I am now in April. That’s why I don’t need to worry. I’m literally going to be in a different realm.

[mcwriting]

A Flight to Remember

Wow guess who's back with another Tom Holland x Reader bc i love him and can't stop. Also couldn’t think of a better title but its fine.

Fandom: Once again, Marvel-ish bc Tom is Spiderman

Ship: Tom x Reader

Setting: Airport (not specified)

Word Count: 1,060

Warnings: None? Idk 

Rating: Lol probably K

Quick background: Reader lives in suburbs near a small regional airport and is coming home, meets Tom Holland and crew™️ at said airport on his way to an event in the city

     You reached your arm out to grab your smoothie from the counter of the little drink stop in your home airport. Buying a drink after landing back home was something you never really did, but you had been gone a week and this was technically the closest drink stop to your home, since you only lived a few minutes away. 

You had been gone visiting a friend you hadn't seen in years, and the long flight home had surely taken its toll. A week of traveling all over the city with your friend, waking up early this morning, and sitting on a plane for hours had left you dragging and you really just needed a pick-me-up.

You turned from the little shop and walked into the hall. You were looking at your phone to tell your friend you had finally made it home, when one body hit yours.

Two strong arms reached out to steady you, and a distinctly British voice called out, “I’m so sorry, darling. Are you alright?”

You looked up, about to reply with the generic “oh I'm fine” or an apology for not paying attention, but you stopped when you saw who was holding you. 

“Uhh.. um...”

The person standing in front of you was none other than Spider-man himself, Tom Holland. Of course, the only thing that came out of your mouth was the first thought that popped into your head.

“You're Tom Holland,” you blurted awkwardly, face heating up.

He chuckled slightly before answering.

“That’s right, dear. In the flesh. Are you sure you're alright?”

You finally got over yourself and stood up straight.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I was just surprised there for a minute. What brings you around here?” You asked, trying to start up a conversation. You mentally cursed yourself for deciding to throw on black leggings, an old sweatshirt, and a baseball cap (to hide the fact that you hadn't washed your hair that you had straightened yesterday) that morning instead of the nice outfit you had originally picked out.

He smiled as you, him, and the others moved out of the middle of the hall towards the wall. 

“Well, there’s a convention we’re visiting this Friday, and we have a few other visits set up during the rest of the weekend. Oh, by the way, this,” he gestured towards the two boys behind him, “Is my best friend Harrison and my little brother Harry.”

The both boys stuck out a hand for you to shake.

“What’s your name?” Tom questioned.

“I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you all.”

“Are you from around here?” Harrison asked politely.

“Uh yeah, actually. I just got home from a visit with a friend I haven't seen in years.”

“Oh nice. Do you think you could possibly help us out?” He continued.

Your eyes went wide and you internally berated yourself for not offering your help before. 

“Oh of course! What was I thinking? What do you need?”

Tom looked at the two boys before turning to you sheepishly.

“Well... we’re having trouble navigating. Could you point us to baggage claim?”

“You’re in luck, because i was just headed there next. This way,” you pointed forward and began walking, Tom falling in step beside you while the other two followed.

“So, how long are you here for?”

“Well we have this whole evening to settle in, and then we leave Sunday afternoon, so technically five days.”

“That’s nice. I’m sure they have all kinds of places planned for you to eat and tour and what not,” you casually replied.

“Actually, not really. They told us that they would let us choose where to go based on where we were during meal times, so we really don't have anything other than a list of possible restaurants and local stores we might be able to visit.”

You narrowed your eyes. 

“That’s odd. I figured usually they set up all that kind of stuff for you guys weeks ahead.If you have the list handy I could tell you some of the ‘must visits’ and whatnot, if you like.”

Harrison stopped us and reached into his backpack, grabbing a neatly folded paper with all different places for them to possibly visit.

“Here you are, love,” he said, handing you the sheet.

You scanned the list, pointing out your favorite places as you went.

“I hope you don't mind me asking, but which hotel are you staying in? Some of these are on opposite sides of town and if you're at the hotel where the convention is, it might not be worth going to them.”

Tom turned to Harrison for the answer, who told you just what you had suspected. 

“Harrison is my ‘assistant’ for these trips, but really its just like bringing my best friend everywhere. Plus, he's better at remembering those sorts of things,” Tom explained.

You told them about your favorite places near their hotel and the mall that was just down the road as your little group went down an escalator.

“Well everyone,” you started when everyone had stepped off, “here we are. It was nice getting to meet you and help you all out.”

“Hey, y/n,” Tom stopped you, “Do you think we could exchange numbers or something, in case we have any more questions or something?” 

You smiled, handing over your phone for him to add his contact into while he gave you his. 

“You know, y/n, you should go out with us tomorrow night to that one restaurant you raved about,” Harrison suggested, eying Tom. Harry smiled at the suggestion after Tom exclaimed, 

“Yes! That would be so awesome! I mean, if you want I guess. You don't have to if you don-”

“I’d love to. Is seven alright?” You asked with a smirk. Tom froze, causing Harrison to step in again.

“We’d love that,” he said, before leaning in to whisper, “and I’ll make sure Tom’s on his best behavior as well.”

You giggled slightly, replying at an equal volume, “I’ll shoot you a text tomorrow night for extra preparation time.”

He leaned back and smiled when your bag on the baggage belt caught the corner of your eye.

“Oh! That’s me. Well boys... See you tomorrow I guess.” you called, walking away. As the boys waved you off, you couldn't help but think of this afternoon’s events as a flight to remember.

A/N: should I do a part two? I can't decide if I should of not. I also have an idea for another Tom x Reader (shocker, I know) that isn't about airports and hotels for once, but idk if I’ll write it (even though I probably will haha)