#just to be clear that would be pretty meanspirited

[bosooka]

Hey, it really isn’t cool how mean you were to that person who was criticizing the new mandalorians. I know we all have a lot of strong opinions and love Star Wars, but please don’t be so mean to other fans…it’s just not cool :/

Y'know Anon. You sent this at a really great time, about five minutes before I logged off social media for Yom Kippur, which means I got to spend all day ruminating on this, possibly the worst of all my sins:

Being rude to people online over Star Wars.

My first instinct when I saw this was to reply with something along the lines of "no, fuck you", but seeing as how it was Yom Kippur and I was in a mindset for examining my past behavior, I set this instinct aside and looked deeper as to why I get so incredibly angry when people post wildly incorrect New Mando meta where I can see it (y'all, I have every possible variation on the "anti satine" and "anti bo-katan" tags blacklisted. If I see something it's because OP neglected to properly tag their shit. This is a Sin.)

Here is what grates me:

The implicit or explicit assumption that pacifism and nonviolence are A) flawed/complacent, B) undertaken from a point of ignorance, and/or C) the beliefs of the privileged. This bothers the Hell out of me, because anyone who knows anything about violent conflict and civil war knows that no one wants violence to stop than people who are senselessly suffering as a result of it. What takes like "Satine is only a pacifist because she was sheltered by the Jedi" tell me is that the person with that opinion fundamentally does not understand what pacifism is, think physical violence is the solution to anything (it is not), and are probably an American who came out of the womb to the recitation of the War-Hawk Propaganda Handbook.

Absolutely outlandish assertions with no grounding in reality like "Satine committed genocide". I am not going to entertain shit like this and I'm not sorry about it. I understand perfectly well the tension between holding onto cultural practices and letting go of violent traditions. The idea that armor, weaponry and murder are an inextricable part of Mandalorian culture to the point where choosing nonviolence is a form of cultural genocide is vile. If you genuinely believe that Satine "We are a people of tradition" Kryze-- the only (named) Canon speaker of Mando'a in TCW, whose dresses are modeled after Mandalorian flowers, who wears Mythosaur tusk earrings, who is so furiously defensive of Mandalorian autonomy that she allowed herself to become a fugitive just to preserve their independence-- is destroying Mandalorian culture and letting Mandalore become a satellite of the Republic, what I understand is that you're saying is that you think the death cult of terrorists who enslave and murder innocent people and torch villages as a show of power have the correct conception of their culture. The True Mandalorians are NOT CANON. They are NOT RELEVANT TO THIS DISCUSSION, and they are NOT GOOD PEOPLE in Legends anyway. If Satine did dissolve the True Mandalorian organization then that's a good thing, because they were a roving band of mercenaries selling their morals to the highest bidder!

Just about every Satine/Bo-Katan fan I know has gotten hate at some point or another for liking them, usually including accusations of actual real-life racism or bigotry. I, a Jewish person, have been called a Nazi over a fictional character I happen to like. (I know, I bring that up a lot. I hope I don't have to explain why it stuck with me.) Now, I don't know about y'all, but I have never in my life sent hate to someone over a fictional character or opinions on the happenings of a series set in a fantastical galaxy with laser swords. I have never sought people out, opened their ask box, and typed in "kys you fascist waste of oxygen". Let me tell you, people do not show this same decency to myself or my friends. Is this keeping me up at night? Nah. But let's not pretend I'm the Biggest Asshole For Ten Miles when there are users around that genuinely believe that being more interested in Jedi characters than clones is racism and people who do that are racist.

That being said, you're right, Anon! I should be less rude. After all, the last person I scolded reached out to me privately and we ended up having a great and friendly discussion even though we didn't agree on anything. (I did apologize by the way, just nowhere you saw it.) I am aware that I am short-tempered, often judgemental, regularly vindictive, and occasionally petty.

So, here's the deal: I am not going to stop getting angry when I hear people say that violence is the "only" answer to a conflict or a problem, or that pacifism is morally reprehensible, or that my favorite character committed genocide. For heaven's sake, I changed my career path because of Satine, of course I'm protective of her. I have been paraded around like the Queen's corpse on Twitter for saying Thrawn isn't that great of a person so I am going to indulge myself with a touch of over-investment in Satine's fandom reputation, since literally everyone else is doing it.

HOWEVER, I am going to make an effort to be less hostile (and sarcastic). For the sake of my soul but also, more urgently, my blood pressure.

Shanah Tova, Anon, thanks for helping in my self-reflection!

[eowyntheavenger]

I’ve seen a lot of posts like these going around, and just...no. People who say this are unable to accept that some of us genuinely didn’t like Harry Potter from the get go. These posters are assuming that all people who say “I never liked Harry Potter” are just trying to mock Harry Potter fans. I want to make clear, I think mocking fans of Harry Potter for having been invested in the series is bad, and no one should be doing that; a lot of fans feel betrayed by Rowling’s transphobia, and they deserve sympathy, not scorn. But someone just saying “I never liked Harry Potter” is not mocking you for being a Harry Potter fan. They’re just stating their opinion. Posts like these are actually mocking people who didn’t like Harry Potter, because they think we’re just trying to “act special”, and they laugh at the idea that anyone could have disliked Harry Potter when it was still coming out.

Look, some people found Rowling’s writing to be troubling and hurtful this whole time. Some people have been criticizing Harry Potter this whole time, and that remains true whether or not you personally heard them doing it. Mostly, it’s frustrating that these people “can’t take seriously” and find it “absurd” that anyone would not like Harry Potter, and so they assume that we must be making it up to seem “special.” I mean, what on earth? One of the posters here said, “most things that are legitimately problematic in the books are fantasy staples.” That’s simply not true. People have also put forward this idea that there simply weren’t problematic elements in Harry Potter that anyone could have noticed back when the books were coming out. That’s also not true.

Here’s why I never liked Harry Potter.

When I read Harry Potter as a kid/had the first Harry Potter book read to me (I was that young), I found Rowling’s sense of humor to be really meanspirited. The way some of the characters were made fun of by the narration/made fun of each other struck me as uncomfortable. It got worse from there.

From the beginning it stuck out to me how fat characters were repeatedly stereotyped and maligned and made fun of; this was a decade before I even learned the word “fatphobia”, but I noticed how weight was portrayed in the books, and it wasn’t good. Not only are fat characters often shown to be mean and stupid, there’s the part where Hagrid tries to turn Dudley into a pig, and feels no remorse about it (and we’re meant to like Hagrid). No matter how much of a bully Dudley was, that did not sit well with me; not only is the imagery really offensive, but an adult shouldn’t treat a kid like that. And the fact that Dudley very belatedly got a sort of redemptive moment at the end of the series doesn’t change the general issue of fat characters being portrayed badly.

I found the house elves to be handled poorly. I felt that Dobby’s obsession with doing things for Harry (which ultimately led him to die for Harry) made him seem really subservient. It felt like he switched out one person to serve for another, implying that even house elves who wanted freedom actually just wanted to serve humans because that was their natural inclination. Also, since slavery is such a racialized issue, Hermione’s role came across as kind of white saviour-y, like the poor elves just needed someone to come along and save them, because they couldn’t have freed themselves. On top of all this, I also felt the SPEW thing was played for laughs/not taken seriously by the narrative, which it shouldn’t have been; oppression isn’t funny. The whole thing just made me uncomfortable.

I didn’t have the knowledge or language to explain my feelings at the time, but I felt that the characters of color in the books were pretty stereotypical, flat, and tokenistic. I also noticed how the only character with a turban was meant to be creepy and evil. I didn’t know the first thing about Sikhism back then, and I didn’t have the vocabulary to express this, but by having a villain wear a turban, the books were really othering people who wear turbans, and suggesting that they’re untrustworthy and dangerous.

On the anti-Semitic thing. Even though goblins didn’t originate as anti-Semitic figures in European folklore, they have definitely become anti-Semitic figures in lots of stories. Where Rowling took it from bad to worse was that not only are her goblins greedy and hook-nosed, they actually run a bank. I mean, really? Depending on context, a regular old greedy goblin in a story might not be an anti-Semitic trope, because untrustworthy/trickster/greedy goblin-like creatures have existed in myths and folklore all over the world for a long time. But a group of greedy hook-nosed goblins who run a bank in the modern world? That’s definitely an anti-Semitic caricature. You can’t argue that goblins-running-banks is a trope that appears in countless fantasy stories. Just plain goblins are a fantasy staple. Goblins running a bank is not a fantasy staple. 

When I read the books as a kid, I thought Rita Skeeter was a gross caricature of what Rowling obviously thought an unattractive woman was, and I didn’t like how the books seemed overly focused on criticizing her appearance rather than just criticizing her character. It felt really sexist. I got that Rita Skeeter was supposed to be unlikeable, but the books when overboard in criticizing her looks instead of her actions, which is misogynistic. You might find this hard to believe but I did notice how Rita Skeeter was compared to a man, and how it was implied to be a bad thing, and I thought it was messed up. I was always something of a tomboy as a kid and got a lot of shit from people for having “masculine” interests, and I picked up on the fact that culture at large generally frowned upon “masculine” women, so I didn’t appreciate any of this. It’s true that I didn’t have the vocabulary or knowledge back then to identify the transphobia in Rita Skeeter’s portrayal, but I definitely noticed something was wrong.

I also thought Snape’s backstory, which seemed like an attempt to humanize and/or redeem him, was badly done and amounted to abuse apologism. We’re supposed to believe that Snape really loved Lily despite calling her a racial slur and then joining a racist organization that wants to kill people like her. We’re supposed to think his obsession with her was love. There were so many bad things about it. You could say we’re meant to see him as a morally grey character, but the fact that Rowling had Harry name his son Albus Severus gives Snape a certain degree of authorial endorsement. Also, the fact that Snape was secretly working for Dumbledore doesn’t make his literal child abuse any less egregious. And I do enjoy morally grey characters when they’re done well. But Snape came across as a character who Rowling wanted to be morally grey, but she only managed to take him from (pre-reveal) “he’s a Death Eater, he’s 100% evil” to (post-reveal) “okay, his allegiance was technically to Dumbledore, but he still completely sucks as a human being.” As they’d say in Avatar: The Last Airbender, he gets the “not as much of a jerk as he could have been award.”

On top of all this, I also didn’t find the worldbuilding to be particularly engaging or the story to be that original. I thought some of the characters had some promise, but they were overshadowed by all the things wrong with the story. Before anyone asks, “Why did you read the books then if you didn’t like them?” I read them because all my friends were reading them. I wanted to see what all the hype was about because everybody I knew absolutely loved Harry Potter. I kept hoping the story would improve (for instance, I hoped the SPEW plotline would have a good resolution that made it less problematic), but it did not.

To be clear, I have read each Harry Potter book only once, and I read them when they were still coming out, when I was a kid. Like a lot of people, I was young when I read these books, and I didn’t have the knowledge I have now about social justice issues or harmful tropes in fiction. But I still noticed that there were harmful aspects to the books. 

The point I want to make is, just because you didn’t see red flags doesn’t mean the weren’t there, and there were a lot more red flags that just transphobia. What appears “obvious” is different for different people. That’s okay. I want to make it clear that I’m not shaming Harry Potter fans for not noticing this stuff sooner. I’m responding to the type of post above that outright dismisses the idea that people even could have disliked these books all along, or that people even could have noticed problems with them from the beginning.

I’m asking people to consider that, even if you learned about Rowling’s bigotry through her transphobia, she has perpetuated harmful ideas about a lot of other groups too, and plenty of people were offended by her writing a long time ago. We aren’t trying to be “special”. The most important thing is that we all recognize what’s important, which is that bigotry in fiction is harmful, whether we saw it early on or noticed it later.

[thefanficmonster]

Promise

Anthony (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Death scenes, Grief, Housefire, Angst, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Romance

Summary: Sneaked glances and pass-by smiles are often times the start of the most beautiful of love stories. Sadly, many of those stories end too quickly, too soon for the souls in love to be able to enjoy them. This is the story of Y/N and Anthony. The love story that started with a promise and ended in flames.

Requested by @niksoiio Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I apologize for taking so long, but here it finally is! I know how excited you were for this fic, so I hope it fulfills your expectations and doesn’t let you down! Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Never is a love story as pure as one long awaited to commence. The souls patiently waiting to intertwine, the emotions dying to shine through more than just glances and secret smiles. Feelings to mix, collide and dance together, creating a symphony of a lifetime. The symphony of love that lives beyond the end of the very souls that sparked it.

This is a love story, a story of loss, and a clear example, proof that a love simply doesn’t die. It’s an everlasting flame - burning brighter than the one that attempted to destroy it.

                                                              ~~~

“You seem restless tonight.“ Anthony walks into the living room, placing a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table in front of Y/N who’s reading the back cover of the book he has been keeping himself busy with lately. 

Y/N has been Tanya’s friend since they met in middle school. When their friendship carried over into high school, that’s when her and Tanya’s adoptive brother Anthony met. They instantly became friends, sharing their love for thrillers and murder mysteries, similar taste in music and relatively similar personalities - the quiet peacemakers. The lovers, not fighters. Well, not fighters unless necessary. They are both protectors with many people they care about and would do anything to keep them safe. The two of them are pretty similar that way. 

Very compatible, as some would say. Tanya being the first to notice the connection between two of the closest people in her life. Knowing the shyness of the two and their self-doubt, she chose not to speak up about it until spoken to, expecting them to take ages to finally see what’s been going on between them. Guess she wasn’t far from the truth.

On this night Y/N and Tanya were supposed to spend their time studying together for the last exam of the semester before Christmas break began. They have agreed to meet at the Clarke house at six PM in the afternoon which has long passed and Tanya is still yet to return from the date she went on with her boyfriend Vince. She promised Y/N she’d make it home by six, but now it’s eight and there’s no sign of her whatsoever. A snowstorm started slowly taking over the town approximately two hours ago, probably the reason behind her friend’s absence, but to Y/N’s dismay, also the reason she’d have to spend the night at the Clarke household because her parents wouldn’t be able to collect her in this weather, especially not with the run-down car they drive.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She nods in gratitude at the boy who sits down on the couch next to her as she takes the mug containing the hot beverage with as firm of a grip as she can muster with her shaky hands. 

She has indeed been restless since she arrived. Walking into the house, apart from Anthony who had let her in, the first person she saw was the youngest member of the family - Megan. The little girl has never done anything to her in particular, but there has always been something about her that has unnerved Y/N. Something in her eyes and demeanor, how empty and hollow her gaze was, almost like she was looking through people and objects instead of at them. The smile she sent her as a greeting sent chills down her spine, leaving her hands and knees shaky and her body jittery as if the house was colder than the outdoors. The thought that she’d have to sleep in this house made her stomach clench with discomfort, a sickening feeling of wrong taking over her mind and body.

“Maybe it’s the exam. You know, if Tanya doesn’t make it, I can help you. It’s not a difficult subject, after all.“ Anthony attempts to reassure her, giving her a sympathetic look as he takes a sip of his own cup.

She gives him a soft smile and another nod of appreciation for his offer, “No, it’s not that. Or at least I think it isn’t. Exams don’t make me nervous until after I’ve finished them, if that makes sense.” She giggles weakly, basking in the warmth of the porcelain cup in her ice cold hands. It doesn’t have much of an effect though - instead of warming up her skin, her hands are basically cooling the drink and she still feels as tense and endangered as ever. “But a study partner could be pretty useful, thank you.”

After finishing the rather disappointing movie they found on TV as well as their drinks, they make their way to Anthony’s room to actually get some studying done because, judging by the nearing of nine PM and the constant lack of her friend, she wouldn’t be returning on time. Anne attempts to offer them before they go, an offer which they turn down in favor of making the most of the time they have left before their brains would require rest for the day.

“You see, I get that it’s far less complicated than it seems, but I’m terrible at paying attention in classes, let alone at taking notes.“ Y/N admits while they take a short ten minute break between note-reading and revising the chapters they’ll have an exam on the following day.

Anthony’s eyebrows furrow, “Why’s that? I mean, the professor isn’t boring. Not to me, at least.“

She shakes her head, “No, no, far from it. The rare time’s I’ve managed to focus I quite enjoyed the lectures. But I tend to get too stuck inside my head to hear anything else. My brain gets overwhelmed by the future, by what’s gonna happen five minutes, five days or maybe even five years from the present moment. I sometimes get so lost in those thoughts that I end up...this is gonna sound weird, but I feel like I end up living them.” Somewhere along the lines she could no longer hold his gaze, embarrassed and afraid of how his opinion of her might change with this newly revealed information.

However, much to her surprise, when her eyes meet his again he’s looking at her with nothing but intrigue and child-like curiosity. No amusement or humor or mocking, just wondering, hoping to find out more. Little does she know, that’s how he always looks at her when she is facing the other way. “That’s so interesting. I guess the real question is: Do the things you imagine ever end up coming true?” It was said with a lighthearted smile with the intention of easing the tension in her, calming her nerves, but he had unintentionally struck a chord.

She nods her head, her eyes widening slightly, “Well that’s the weirdest part - they do. Almost all the time unless I do something to prevent it. It freaks me out every time.” An aura of fear surrounds and inhabits her as her gaze wanders away from his again, this time subconsciously, “It scares me so much, Anthony. I know something’s terribly wrong with me. I’m a freak of nature or...I don’t even know what. I just know it’s bad. And I probably shouldn’t have told you all of this cause you now won’t ever look at me the same, you will avoid me. Call me crazy behind my back. I see why but-...”

Before the petrified girl could continue rambling, Anthony takes hold of her hands, firm and comforting. The sudden, unexpected contact of their hands silences her, freezing her eyes on his as she breathes heavily in hopes to stabilize her rapid heart and far worse shakiness. With his hands holding hers, she feels protected, guarded from whatever the future may hold and from the very fact that she could probably find out if she tried. For once though, she doesn’t feel like she has to. She doesn’t need to see what will happen and prepare, she trusts it won’t be so bad as long as she has this boy holding her by the hands, looking at her with such softness in his green orbs staring back at her.

“But that’s all nonsense, Y/N. I’d never say something behind your back, especially not something meanspirited or ill-willed. You...“ he trails off, hesitating for just a moment longer, deciding against prolonging this grey area his feelings have been locked in for far too long as it is, “You are very important to me, more than you know. I could never see you as anything but amazing, mesmerizing. You’re you, Y/N. And that’s why....“ Hesitation and doubt make one final attempt at beating his courage bloody. Much like last time, they fail and Anthony carries on, “That’s the reason I’ve fallen in love with you, Y/N. Quirks, oddities, they are all beautiful cause they are yours. And I love them cause they make you who you are.“

He has somehow managed to turn the tables on her, leaving her to be the speechless one despite her having just revealed her freaky ‘abilities’ to him. What looks like a fiasco in her mind he’s made seem like a perfectly put together kaleidoscope. Like every piece of her shattered courage and bravery is back in it’s spot. Although he’s somewhat managed to put her together, she’s still a long way from being whole, which is why words have failed her now. She hasn’t felt so complete in so long, and now the final piece missing is that response that just refuses to leave her chest.

Seeing her stunned as she is, Anthony feels the need to apologize, justify his out-of-the-blue confession that startled her so much, “I know I should’ve you sooner, or at least picked a better moment but-...”

It’s her turn to cut him off though her method is much more efficient - silencing him by pressing her lips against his.   Though caught off-guard, Anthony is quick to respond to it, kissing her back with the same amount of love she’s put in on her end.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m so sor- WHOA!“ The two pull apart at the sound of the familiar female voice that has suddenly filled the room. Tanya has picked the worst of moments to be coming home, and she’s more than aware of it. Despite feeling guilty for interrupting her brother and best friend’s moment, she’s also glad she didn’t miss it. After all, she’s been watching the two suffer in silence, pining for each other since the start of their high school freshmen year and even now that they’re in college. They’ve been quiet about their feelings for more than four years and she can’t be happier to finally see the prophecy fulfilled. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for you two to finally succumb to your hearts and turn those lame brains you have off?! Oh this is a relief like no other.” The older girl laughs, pleased with the outcome of four years of looking on at two very important people in her life adoring one another and not saying a word. Needless to say, she’s proud of them.

“Do you know what knocking is, Tanya?“ Anthony is the first to recover from the initial shock of his sister’s appearance.

“Only in theory. Not in practice.“ She replies sarcastically, giving a pleased smile that speaks volumes of how her spirits have been lifted all thanks to them. “I’ll go downstairs, pretend I didn’t see what I saw, make myself a cup of tea to warm up and when I come back I want to see that you two have pulled yourselves together. Your faces are burning red.” She instructs, backing out of the room but not before fixing them a narrow-eyed warning look.

She wasn’t wrong - they are indeed blushing a deep red and all they can do is smile when they look at each other, giggling a tiny bit.

Suddenly, Y/N’s eyes widen as though she has just remembered something of great importance. “Wait.” She mutters, more to herself than to Anthony. Her hand swiftly slides the ring off the middle finger of her left hand and offers it to Anthony, “Here.” The boy takes it hesitantly, turning it between his fingers as gently and cautiously as he can as though the ring would crack if his grip became any firmer. “By taking in, you’re making a statement, a promise. A promise that you won’t change your mind about me...about us by tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or by next week.” She’s unable to look at him yet again, instead focusing on her fidgeting hands rested in her lap.

After a brief moment of contemplating, Anthony hands her back the ring, “I don’t need to make a promise, I know I won’t change my mind. You could look into the future and see for yourself too.” He tells her reassuringly, a sweet smile on his face to show the lightheartedness of what he’s said, afraid it might be offensive to her if he didn’t clarify.

She shakes her head, “For once in my life I don’t want spoilers for the future. I’ll just let it play out. I’ll see it when it happens.” She pushes the ring back to him, “But I still want you to keep this. A reminder, if not a promise. A reminder that I promise to love you for a very long time.”

A warmth spreads throughout his chest, the wholesomeness of the moment having reached to his heart and soul. He curls his fingers over the ring protectively, “Alright, I’ll take it. As a promise that I too promise to love you for even longer.”

The strings of emotion connecting them are slowly being pulled, bringing them closer once again. They both lean in, ready to feel that incredible magic of a love-filled kiss another time.

“Consider this me knocking! My hands are kinda full so just open the door if I can come in!“ Lips less then an inch apart, they’re interrupted by the shout coming from the other side of the bedroom door.

The young pair laugh, accepting that their moment will have to be postponed before Anthony goes to let his sister, who’s carrying a cup of tea and some snacks, in. All Y/N can think about is how much happiness she’s found so unexpectedly, in a place she was all but willing to stay at. Life is full of surprises and unforeseen moments, so many things one can never predict. And even though Y/N can predict them, now she’d rather not. She now understands the importance of surprises in life and she wants to cherish them properly.

                                                            *  *  *

Flames, fear, screams, shouts, cries. All painted on the backs of her eyelids. The mortifying images playing out in front of her jolt her awake.

A nightmare, it’s just a nightmare, she tells herself.

But upon opening her eyes she is met by the misty darkness of the smoke-filled room her and her best friend are currently in. 

A nightmare that she could’ve predicted and warned the others about.

“Y/N, get out of the window! I need to find Megan!“ Tanya tells her urgently, ushering her towards the windowsill, “Go! Anthony will catch you!“

Looking down at the snow*covered yard below, she sees Anthony’s figure, motioning for her to jump. She can barely hear him over the ringing and thumping in her head but she trusts him. She believes she’ll be ok if she chooses to rely on him. So, following both his and his sister’s instructions, she jumps, falling into his arms. For a few moments it’s all blank around her and in her head. She wonders if it’s just the feeling of the fall or the fact that she could’ve died so easily. Or maybe the close proximity to Anthony. Either way his whisper wakes her up from the blank trance she has fallen into.

“It’s ok, I got you.“ He steadies Y/N on her shaky feet, taking her head and leading her to the front of the house.

The next few minutes are a show of nothing but horror and pain. Her and Anthony witness it together, unable to do anything but look on as ever member of the Clarke family, one by one, has life escaping their bodies in the most brutal of ways: Tanya and Megan never made it out of the house; Mr. Clarke was caught under the fallen ceiling in the living room and Dennis was the worst, having impaled himself on the fence below the attic window.

They saw it all happen. They couldn’t do anything. Fear-ridden, powerless and helpless, frozen in their spots by the horrifying scenes playing out in front of them.  With tears brimming her eyes and blurring her vision and her knees almost completely giving out, Y/N felt a little bit of her die with each member of the family. A large chunk of her died along with them. She can only imagine how Anthony feels.

“Mom...“ The distressed boy mutters, “Mom’s still in there! Mom!“ Before she could stop him, he’s running towards what used to be the front door of the house and into the burning hallway.

Y/N’s heart drops, adrenaline and the primal instinct to save the person she loves kicking in bringing her legs to life, carrying her forward. “Anthony no!” A loud cry of desperation leaves her aching chest.

She too enters the hallway, surrounded by the overwhelming heat that feels like it’s burning her skin off. She doesn’t dwell on that though, instead she lunges forward, hands grabbing at Anthony’s arm with all her might and yanking him back with as much strength as she has left. Thankfully, it’s enough to send the boy stumbling back, falling on the snow out in the yard, falling to safety just in time.

Just when the ceiling in the hallway collapses. Directly on top of Y/N.

Like the last breath had been drawn out of Anthony’s lungs. Like his last hope had just been shredded to pieces.

Like his life ended along with her, his heart severed and plucked out of his chest, thrown into the flames.

He bows his head, uncontrollable cries leaving his body, each feeling like a punch to the gut - oh so painful and oh so dreadful. As though his very soul is draining from his body with each scream of agony. Then he spots the shimmer in the snow, the twinkle in his darkened vision.

The promise ring that had fallen out of his pocket, its smooth, gleaming surface unharmed, reflecting the raging flames in front of him. Its statement, its meaning standing stronger than ever - an everlasting love. A brightly burning flame ignited by two souls so adored by each other. And even though one of the flames that started the fire has been extinguished, the fire of love hasn’t wavered.

The ring is sending him a message:

This is far from the end of his love. Far from the end of hers either. When two souls intertwine the way theirs have, the bond cannot be broken.

                                                            *  *  *

Half a century has passed and Anthony has never missed the day - each year gracing the town of Little Hope with his presence to commemorate his late family and loved one, bringing a flower to each of their graves.

Survivor’s guilt still haunts him. That night’s events still keep him up at night and the images still seep into his dreams. However, now he has a way to cope with it. He writes. He writes in a diary but in such a way that it’s composed of letters. Letters addressed to different members of his family though the majority are love letters for Y/N. He tells her about his day, how he wishes she were by his side, how he whishes they had more time or acted on their feeling sooner.

How he loves her even more now, how they have remained connected.

“Funny how we haven’t run into each other before. Fifty years and this is the first time I’m seeing you here.“ The deep male voice startles him, “I knew we’d run into each other eventually.“

It’s Vince, Tanya’s boyfriend - the person who’s been placing the flowers Anthony find on Tanya’s grave every year. He always assumed it was him, another man forever in love with the soul that is left to linger after its body vanished. Another man chained by a memory, one he wouldn’t escape even if he could. He still loves Tanya, no doubt about it, and he wishes to never stop loving her. Him and Anthony are rather similar that way.

“Though it was you. No one else knows Tanya’s favorite flowers.“ Anthony motions to the bouquet of white flowers in Vince’s hands, “Surprised you’re still here.“ He knows it’s not the wisest thing to say to a man who’s suffering down the same road of guilt and grief - the road only lit by the everlasting love that has remained in his heart as well as Vince’s.

“Surprised you haven’t stopped coming around.“ He replies though they both know what’s insinuated - they understand why neither of them can let go. They’re bound to bodiless souls that reside here. They are both more than determined to stay as close as possible to those souls they are so hopelessly in love with.  Vince’s eyes trail down to Anthony’s hand which is holding the bouquet he was going to place on his sister’s grave. He catches the glint of a ring on his finger, “You’re married?”

The promise ring. He’s chosen to wear it in place of a wedding ring. It is not only a way to cope but it’s exactly what him and Y/N agreed on all those years ago - a reminder that they’ll love each other for a very long time. For forever.

“Yes. I’m married.“

He indeed is - to Y/N and the memory of her. To her soul that his will forever be connected to.

@artlovingbre  @sparrow-gg  @megandaisy9

[thealmightyemprex]

1960′s Bond films ranked

,1960′s was the era of Bond mania ,and it was the decade with the most movies ,with 7 movies(Second to it is the 80′s with 6 movies ,then the 70′s with 5 ,90′s and 2000′s both only had 3 each ,and 2010′s only had 2 ) ,and since the 60′s is the most classic era of Bond ,I decided  to rank the 60′s Bond films 

7.Casino Royale(1967)

Yup I am counting the unofficial movies too  and this is the only film on the list I would say is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.This is  a crappy movie,pure insanity  with no clear vision and it commits the biggest sin of a comedy :ITS NOT FUNNY .....Woody Allan as a Bond Villain is a funny joke though 

6.Thunderball(1965)

Only Bond film in which I have read the book.It’s an OK book ,love some of the characters  but it was just fine  .....But I like it better then the movie  .This is a boring movie  to me ,Largo is only remembered fondly cause he has an eyepatch as he is a lame villain  ,Domino is a lot less interesting then her book counterpart ,there is a cringeworthy scene with Bond blackmailing a physiotherapist into sleeping with him ,there is a random character who is important to the plot but the film doesnt treat him this way ,the Q scene feels less playful and more meanspirited  and underwater battles sound cool in theory ,but are dull in practice .That said I do like aspects ,Connery  is good ,I like the SPECTRE scene (Love Shadowy Blofeld ) ,the pre title action scene is great (Complete with ACTUAL WORKING REAL JETPACK ),The theme song performed by Tom Jones is AMAZING ,and  I do love the films main henchwoman Fiona Volpe ,she is such an awesome baddie I wish she was the MAIN villain  .I know it’s considered a classic but I just cant get into it 

5.You Only Live Twice (1967)

THis one I am .....Mixed about . I think it’s directed well ,there are some cool camera movements,the Little Nellie gyrocoptor is awesome  ,the fight scene against the driver (Played by Peter Maiva ,the grandfather of Dwayne “The Rock “ Johnson ,which is awesome )  is pretty badass , The Volcano Lair is SPECTACULAR (PRobabbly the best villain lair in the series ) ,Tiger Tanaka is a likable ally ,Aki is a great Bond Girl,Nancy Sinatras theme song is good ,it’s cool seeing a snapshot of 1960′s Japan ,the final battle is epic ,and Donald Pleasence is FANTASTIC as Blofeld ,bringing such a creepiness to a character who has been built up for 5 movies .....But  what holds it back for me is Connery looks so damn bored throughout the entire movie ,the plot I dont really care about ,Helga is just a rehash of Fiona and not even in a interesting  way ,KArl is such a boring henchman ,Aki is killed off just to be replaced by Kissy who is less interesting and I dont know why they didnt just have one Bond girl ,DOnald Pleasence is barely  in the movie ,and then you have Bond going undercover as a Japanese man......Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah.This is just such a mixed bag of a movie for me 

4.Dr No (1962)

Now lets get to the good ones.This is a lowkey Bond adventure(As they couldnt afford to do one of the bigger stories ) ,and I imagine that can be jarring for someused to the high octane globe trotting adventures of the other films,and I have seen some calll it Vanilla  .....And I kind of like the simpler vibe of this film .Connery comes out the gate swinging ,he is suave and with moments of  brutality.Both the Bond girl and villain arent in the film long but Ursula Andress is memorable as Honey Ryder  and Joseph Wiseman as Dr No while only getting really one scene to show off has a cold  detached delivery to his lines that makes him extremely eerie (Would’ve preferred a Chinese actor  and am distressed none were even considered but thats the 60′s for you ) .Anthony Dawson  makes for a good secondary villain as Professor Dent  ,Jack Lord is a cool Felix Leiter ,John Kitzmiller is great as Bonds ally Quarrel ,the film sets up Bonds dynamics with both Bernard Lee’s M and Lois Maxwell’s Miss Moneypenny ,both making strong first impressions ,the film is brutal with it’s action ,and overalll it’s a good introduction to the world of Bond  

3.Goldfinger(1964)

The iconic Bond film .This film is fun ,plain and simple. It has flaws (Mainly there being a whole section of the plot involving gangsters that makes absolutely no sense and how Pussy Galore turns good is REALLLY cringeworthy) but I feel like the rest of the film is awesome  .The villain Auric Goldfinger is one of the best  (Easilly my second favorite in the series )ruthless and greedy but with an odd sense of charm ,I just love watching him .The films main henchman Oddjob   is also awesome  ,a super strong  silent loyal thug  who kills people with a toss of his killer bowler hat .Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore  is fantastic ,easily one of the best Bond girls,and while I dont like how her arc is handled,I do like that she starts off as a baddie .The film is full of classic moments from Goldfinger and Bonds golf game ,the laser scene (And the classic exchange “You expect me to talk”*Chuckles*”No mr Bond ,I expect you to DIE!!”),the fight between Bond and Oddjob in Fort Knox (Which is a gorgeous set by Ken Adam ) and of course the iconic image of the dead woman painted gold .I also have just a personal fondness for this film as when I was a kid we had a whole bunch of Bond films on VHS (From Dr No to Live and Let Die ) and this was the one I watched the most 

2.From Russia With Love (1963)

I flip flop on whether I like Goldfinger or From Russia With Love more ,and I think I prefer From Russia With Love ,for one simple reason :Goldfinger is a fun action romp .....From Russia With Love is a genuinely intriguing spy movie .It’s also cool cause it is a direct sequel to Dr No which is an anomaly in the classic Bond films. There isnt one villain in this film ,it’s an organization ,SPECTRE ,meaning we get a whole ensamble of villains (Including creepy evil genius Kronsteen and SPECTRES head thug Morzeny),but the stand outs are Red Grant  played by Robert Shaw of Jaws fame, a sadistic assassin who is sort of Bonds dark mirror  and Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb ,a former SMERSH agent now working for SPECTRE ,who is commanding in every scene .....EXCEPT fore when she is around the films true villain Blofeld,in those scenes  she is TERRIFIED ,and thats a detail I love cause it adds to Blofeld mystique,that if he can scare KLEBB he is a force to be reckoned with  .I also love that we dont actuallly SEE Blofeld beyond his hands stroking his cat  ,and yet personality wise we get everything we need to know (That and his deep commanding voice which I LOVE ) .We also get Kerim Bey who is hands down the BEST Bond sidekick ,he is so lovable and charming,it’s hard not to like him.Connery is excellent  as usual ,all the action is awesome including Bond evading a helicopter ,a climatic boat chase,an encounter with a deadly piece of footwear,and a absolutely brutal fight between Grant and Bond on the Orient Express .If I have one  complaint I am not that fond of how the Bond Girl Tatiana  is written but  Daniela Bianchi does a good job .Overall this is a great movie  

1.On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

This is my favorite Bond movie .It is at it’s core a love story and a damn good one .Diana Rigg steals this entire movie as Tracy  ,she is the best Bond girl .Telly Savals is charming ,intelligent ,but also tough as hell as Blofeld ,he is my third favorite Bond villain  and hands down my favorite Blofeld .I think the film contains one of the best evil plans (And surprisingly relevent over 50 years later ),Irma Bunt is a terrific henchwoman ,Gabriele Ferzetti is  entertaining as Tracy’s criminal father Draco ,Louis Armstrongs We Have All The Time In The World is a terrific love song  ,I love the setting of the Swiss Alps ,the film somehow makes a BOBSLED chase badass ,and the ending  is unforgettable .Now the one common complaint people have is George Lazenby ,and while I agree he isnt great ......He is a good Bond ,and he hits the dramtic  notes when he needs to .I adore this movie and reccomend it to non Bond fans  even

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 10: Old Love, New Love, Is This True Love

All right, so...like I said, work has picked up and my eyes feel like old marbles from staring at numbers (the woes of working in accounting I guess) so I want to get this written up and tossed into the nether before I lose steam and motivation to do it. The interesting thing about these little write-ups is that as the week goes on they just get harder and harder to write...

I do apologize in advance to those who like the long-winded write-ups. I’m just not up to it at the moment. Still feeling kind of bleh from the episode.

Let’s go back to an old format, shall we?

The Good

We might as well start out with the things about this episode that I enjoyed! 

Gossip Hour with the Men was one of the best openers they’ve had on the show in a while. It was genuinely funny without being meanspirited. Nobody looked like the bad guy. Everyone just calmly talked about it alike it was a normal thing to maybe call off the wedding. Bill calling out Carson for giving marriage advice was pretty funny, Mike was a delight. I don’t know what to say. I’d watch a whole episode of The Boys just hanging around spending time together.

--

Florence’s worry that she’s ugly was...not a terrible idea for a storyline, but the actress is too good-looking to pretend to be ugly (I saw her in this pretty yellow dress on Instagram a couple years ago and she was smashing)? Also, it’s not like Ned is a handsomely aged gentleman (like Henry lol) so it makes even less sense for the characters. I think they should have gone with Florence feeling she’s “plain” and that dressing up Super Nice makes her feel uncomfortable because she just doesn’t feel like Herself and worries maybe it’s projecting a false sense of Who She Is or something? I guess overall I still liked that an attempt was made to add some depth to Florence and her difficulties in choosing a dress/hairstyle, so...it goes here.

--

Ned asking Henry to be his best man was nice, too. I can forgive the shoddy pacing and weird placement of this request (like I do with almost everything in the show) but only because the scene was just...so incredibly wholesome. 

I like how Henry just casually is like, “Well maybe today’s just not the day.” I think it eased Ned’s mind just a little that he CAN back out if he really wants to.

I think it’s worth thinking about the fact that Ned and Henry would have always worked very closely, since the mercantile would have been a company store before the mine closed down... I like Henry and Ned as pals.

--

I’m glad the “investment” thing with Jesse and Clara’s savings was brought up in a way that...makes sense. And also, glad it wasn’t forgotten.

--

I really liked Molly and Florence in this episode. I’m a little sad Florence married Ned because I AM SORRY BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SHIPPING MOLLY AND FLORENCE TOGETHER UGHGHGHH

But their relationship is so good and maYBE Elizabeth will learn something from them.

Hey Elizabeth...you see that?

YOU SEE THAT?

Just saying.

And then later...

“You are the sister I never had, the mother I forever wanted, the friend I have always needed. From the depths of those dark and terrifying coal mines you’ve walked beside me, picking me up whenever I’ve stumbled along the way.”

AAAAAAAAA IT GOT ME.

--

I’m...really liking Fiona and Mike’s relationship, whatever it is. I kind of think they’re not headed toward anything romantic. Everyone thinks Mike is really into Fiona but at the end of the episode we realize he likes talking to her about business; it’s almost like they have this shared passion for numbers/ideas and he likes infodumping to her (and vice-versa).

I think they’re going to end up being “just friends” and Fiona will end up paired off with the man Elizabeth doesn’t choose. They hinted at Nathan briefly in this episode (with Allie’s hair), but who knows? I’m over trying to speculate on where the triangle is going at this point, but I actually like Fiona’s relationship with Mike so much that I’ll be disappointed if she fades into the background with Nathan or Lucas. Mike deserves more screentime. 

--

Ned and Florence sharing their fIRST KISS. My husband got emotional over this. And I admit, it was starting to get to me, too. I can’t NOT root for them. 

--

I said it before and I’ll say it again: I WOULD DIE FOR THE CANFIELDS.

--

The wedding was nice. I liked that Bill and Joseph officiated it together; it gives Joseph a li’l trial run of pastoring and finally Bill gets to use some of that power of his to officiate a wedding.

“Please, if you’d like” is such a Bill way to say that they may kiss LOL.

--

Also, I have to admit that I did enjoy Lucas calling Nathan out about Allie. She wouldn’t be caught in the middle if he’d leave Elizabeth alone AND HE IS RIGHT LMAO.

The last good thing: Elizabeth telling Nathan she doesn’t blame him for Jack’s death. Nice. Good. Thank you. He probably needed to hear that.

--

...THE BAD

Carson and Faith. UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHH. BREAK UP ALREADY I HATE YOU BOTH.

I appreciated that Carson had the ring ages ago, and I did like his conversation with Minnie—or more accurately, her advice to him. I felt like she was nudging him toward, “Remember why you became a surgeon in the first place.” If he became a surgeon to help people, then there’s no reason he can’t help people where he is. Sure, he might not be doing state of the art procedures but with Faith working alongside him, he can afford time to learn new things and go to doctor conventions or even take a specialized class now and then. No other doctor could get away for very long but he has that chance!

And he’ll arguably be doing more good in the middle of nowhere than in the city. All the doctors want to live in the city. Nobody wants to barely get paid for their time in the countryside.

We had a whole episode that made it clear that Faith and Carson don’t make a lot of money and do a lot of charity work. They also work for trade goods (mostly food). So it’s like...a pretty big difference in lifestyle? 

Half the reason I can’t get invested in these characters is because I really can’t stand Paul Greene. He just...annoys me on every single level imaginable. But he’s a decent actor and I can’t help but feel that his character was a massive waste of space for the past few seasons through no fault of the man himself. Imagine introducing a character like Carson and then leaving him to rot before you try to make him interesting with a romance plot that nobody asked for.

Yes, some people really like Faith and Carson, but as a whole I think the fandom didn’t buy into them as a ship due to the lack of chemistry.

It really is a shame. This episode didn’t do a thing to endear me to either character. Please, Carson. I am begging you to leave town.

--

This one particular line of dialogue almost enraged me.

WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE CAN SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES. WHY DID THEY HAVE ROSEMARY SAY THIS LIKE IT’S AN EPISODE OF A CHILD’S TV SHOW?

--

Elizabeth.........

How could Katie have...looked up to her? She was never in her class? That was? Never part of anything? It was just something they threw in here to force Elizabeth to make 1% more sense in the role she’s in but IT STILL DOESN’T WORK.

I felt like I was back in Season 5 again with Lori and Elizabeth putting their nose in everyone’s business except it’s just Elizabeth!! The whole plot, which was boring and contrived anyway, should have gone to Molly, since she’s Florence’s best friend and another woman from town that Katie would have known as a child.

AND ALSO, MOLLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN KATIE’S MOTHER AND WOULD REMEMBER THE GRIEF THAT NED STRUGGLED WITH.

I know they wanted to make Elizabeth give advice so that she’d Realize that she needs to, I don’t know, make better choices or something, but it was too on the nose for me and I hated it.

GinithePooh on Reddit made a good comparison to Elizabeth in this episode by saying she reminded them of Clippy from Microsoft Word, always popping up and offering to help when nobody really needs or wants advice.

To honor their incredible idea, I opened Photoshop and created this gem, which I will also be posting separately so that people can reblog it if they wish to.

I also don’t think I need to say also filed under The Bad is the fact that Elizabeth didn’t even apologize for being awful to Rosemary and then gave her unsolicited advice to other people for two days straight. I can’t believe they wrote that? 

All I can say is that her apology to Rosemary, when it comes, better be good.

--

And I didn’t like this either:

I wish it had been followed up by literally anything: Nathan saying he’s sorry he didn’t tell her sooner or something to make the hand-holding actually be a little more innocent.

As it is, it just seems so deliberate? 

Maybe the next episode starts off right in this scene and we’ll get that? If so, this might actually end up being fine. I just don’t think it is if it doesn’t get a little more direct attention.

--

& THE UGLY

I debated on putting anything in here, because I’m not ready to talk about my feelings on this matter, at least not fully. But I’ve been pretty quiet all season so far, and...eh, why not just mention things in advance? What will it hurt?

Let me preface this section by saying I’m biased and I doubt hardly anyone on this site will agree with me, so feel free to just ignore this part if that’s the case.

There are two things that I really didn’t like in this episode.

I hate the slanting toward Bill/Molly.

I like Molly just fine but I don’t like her with Bill. I’m biased as all getout and also worried about the future/potential Season 9 with regards to this. I don’t want to see it. Like at all. Why, you ask? You should know why if you follow me. I’m super transparent.

It’s because I like AJ AND I WANT HER BACK LOL.

John Tinker rewatched the series so we know he wouldn’t have missed that hanging plot thread—especially since he didn’t forget any of the other things that were brought up this season! So why didn’t she appear this season? The love triangle absolutely needed to be a focus or it would have never ended, so that’s part of it, but I’m also pretty sure Josie Bissett wasn’t interested in doing any filming last year during Covid. My only “proof” is that Wedding March 6 wasn’t filmed last year even though it was scheduled to be filmed, but it makes sense. Last year was chaos.

THAT SAID, Jack Wagner posted on his Instagram the other day that they are actually filming Wedding March 6 now, so... I guess AJ’s re-appearance in Season 9 wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they wanted to write it.

You’d think I’d be hyped about that, and I kind of am? But it doesn’t come without its share of worries, too. We just had the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles and I really don’t want another one, especially if it makes any of the characters in question look stupid or mean.

I fully admit a well-written love triangle could be a LOT of fun for them* (low stakes because they’re not front and center characters), but I saw how Nathan was written so far this season and I really, REALLY do not want to see that happen to Molly, Bill, or AJ.

Anyway, not a fan of the Molly/Bill stuff. No chemistry. I don’t want it.

*I would totally write a fanfic like this lmao.

--

And finally...the part that everyone will hate me for:

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ABIGAIL COME BACK. And I specifically do not want her to come back ‘cause I do not wanna see Henry/Abigail happen.

I fully recognize that a lot of you like it and ship the heck out of it, and that’s...good. I’m glad you enjoy it. I loathe it, though, and I worry that all these hints (more like...mentions) are leaning toward...something. Like, either they’re:

1) Sending Abigail off/tying up that loose end with Henry (since nothing was ever clarified either way), or

2) Warming up the audience to receive Abigail back on the show.

I’m pretty into the idea of one-sided Henry/Abigail. Hindsight is 20/20, regrets, that’s all some juicy stuff to give a character like Henry. Some things can’t ever be made right again. He had too direct of a connection to the death of her husband and son for me to ever want to see them together. Forgiveness? Yes. A careful but meaningful friendship? Yes. Romantic relationship? Uh...no thanks.

I liked the Abigail mentions at first because I felt like...the character still mattered (as she should) but I’m at a point where I feel like they’re trying really hard to steer the fandom’s view a certain way and not knowing where it’s going is extremely unsettling to me.

--

I’ll probably talk more about the things that bother me when the season ends, because I’m hoping to have a better idea of where things are going to be headed, but for now just...know that I feel very apprehensive.

And keep in mind that I primarily watch this show for Bill these days, since all my previous faves (AJ, Frank, the old Abigail, Dottie) have exited, stage left. I also always really liked seeing Henry. So as you can imagine, seeing plotlines I hate for the only two characters I’m invested in? Is making me consider dropping the series next year.

My husband told me I should hate-watch it, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’ve been following this series for so long...it just...kind of hurts to feel let down like this? 

But sometimes an ongoing series ends up going where you...didn’t want it to, and it becomes something that’s no longer right for you. I hope that doesn’t happen, but last night’s episode makes me feel like...it might be happening for real this time.

I guess if that holds true it’ll be back to fanfiction for me. Will that novelization I planned ages ago end up getting written? Will I write the best love triangle fanfic known to man? WHO KNOWS.

For now, we’ll all have to wait and see! Two more episodes left. I’m really curious to see how they resolve some of the open plots right now. :>

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About “Enchanted Grom Fright”

Salutations random people of the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Shmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I started doing reviews, I told myself to stay limited to specials, movies, seasons, and even entire T.V. shows. I didn't want to do reviews for regular episodes of a show, mostly because there wouldn't be enough to talk about in a single post. For me, an episode has to either be astounding enough or important enough to warrant a review. And low and behold, The Owl House did just that with the episode "Enchanting Grom Fright." Keep in mind that I am going to be spoiling everything that happens in this episode. So if you somehow haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend that you do so. And if you haven't seen The Owl House yet...what the hell is wrong with you?

With that out of the way, let's get started with-

WHAT I LIKE

Luz independently looking for new glyphs: This scene is excellent for two reasons. Reason number one: It shows how dedicated Luz is to learning magic. So far, we have yet to see Hexide teach Luz anything regarding her unique way of doing magic. This is why it's great to see Luz try to find glyphs on her own so she can at least attempt to catch up with everyone else. There's also the implication that it's not an easy task for her, given the multiple crumpled up pieces of paper, which must have been failed attempts to make the plant glyph. This scene adds continuity from "Adventures of the Elements" as well, proving that Luz had learned her lesson in said episode. As for reason number two for why this scene is excellent: It sets up how Luz and Amity defeat Grom. Luz could have used her other two glyphs to destroy Grom, but doing so would take away some neat symbolism with the tree that was grown (more on that later). Therefore, Luz finding the plant glyph was a great set up with a proper pay off. Which is what I love about The Owl House. It takes things you wouldn't think twice about and actually makes something beautiful. Case in point: A 'Grom Night' poster was shown in a previous episode, hinting to the glory that is this episode.

Luz barely texting her mom back: I like this because it finally addresses Luz's conflictions for lying to her mom (Something I may or may not have toyed around with https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321692/chapters/55864000). These scenes present moments of how Luz isn't always the happy go lucky teen that she is. And I like that because it adds layers to a character who is already engaging enough.

That Gromposal: I made a post of all the things Disney has approved of before approving Lumity. I guess you can add to the list a character presenting an anatomically correctly drawn heart with the word 'Grom' written in what I can only assume is blood!

(Jokes aside, I legitimately like the dark humor in this scene, as well as Skara saying yes to the poor boy. It was adorable, damn it!)

Amity’s hostility swapped with being friendly: Here's a nice bit of character development for ya! It's just a few seconds, but those seconds show how far Amity has come since episode FIVE! Which is why Amity is one of the best characters in the show. Her development is so impressive that it's legitimately jarring to compare the Amity who was angry to see Luz, to the Amity who immediately apologizes, to Luz. But she still has years of conditioning from her parents to deal with, so of course, Amity's first instinct is to bare her fangs. And I'm more than positive that that instinct is going to leave her pretty soon.

Eda: While we're on the topic of great characters, let's take a moment to talk about Eda in this episode, shall we? Eda, throughout "Enchanted Grom Fright," has fully embraced her role as a maternal figure for Luz. The way Eda attempts to warn Luz about the dangers of Grom is a testament to how much Eda truly cares about 'her human.' And it's not like Eda doesn't acknowledge Luz's efforts at survival. She knows Luz can take care of herself, but that won't stop Eda from drawing the line when she knows Luz is in over her head. The best part is that when Luz admits that she was wrong, Eda doesn't respond with anger or even with a smug "I told you so." Instead, Eda's reaction is calm and nurturing. A response that Luz needed at that moment. It's sweet and genuinely heartwarming to see.

(And I love how Eda constantly admires her own beauty throughout the episode. Which is something I'm sure most fans can relate to.)

Luz and Amity’s talk in the forest: There is a lot to love about this exchange, due to how adorable it is. So here's a quick list: The clearly romantic music playing in the background. The way Amity slipped in the mud and was inches away from accidentally kissing Luz when getting pulled up. The fact that Luz sits down into the mud so as not to make Amity feel self-conscious about being filthy. Luz's sweet, sincere, and instant "I would" when responding to Amity wondering who would take her place as Grom Queen. The fact that Amity was surprised that someone would be willing to take her place in the first place. The payoff to Luz learning that she really did have a spider on the back of her head (Alright, that one wasn’t adorable, but it was definitely hilarious!).

Amity “destroying” Hooty: While I do enjoy seeing Amity act all sweet and gushy, I will admit that feisty Amity is still best Amity. Plus, this scene was remarkably funny.

Training Luz for Grom: This scene was a fantastic showcase for each of the Blight siblings. Now, because I've talked a lot about Amity (and will continue to do so), I want to start talking about Edric and Emira first. When first introduced to Ed and Em, my initial reaction was that they were meanspirited versions of the Weasley Twins from Harry Potter. Sure, Fred and George are known to cause mischief, but they do realize that there's a line you don't cross when it comes to family. That is something that Ed and Em ignored during their debut episode, where they tried to reveal Amity's diary to the world. Luckily, the writers picked up on this quick and made a subtle detour in terms of Ed and Em's personalities. They're actually decent supporting characters, and it's legitimately sweet with how they willingly help Luz. As for Amity, it's great to see that she still takes things seriously despite crushing on Luz. Most shows fall into the trap of making characters a nervous wreck when around their crushes. And while Amity does have those moments, there are still scenes like this that prove she isn't just some smitten kitten-and I hate myself for saying that. Amity is the voice of reason to her and Luz's relationship. And I'm glad that the writers mostly focus on that aspect of her personality rather than write her off as a flustered girl with a crush.

Those boys dancing together: While it's nice to see Luz and Amity's relationship blossom, that doesn't mean we should sleep on great representation such as this. While it's great to see so many romantic pairings between females in the last few years, it's rare to see two boys liking each other, especially in animation. Sure, male pairings exist, but I haven't seen them as celebrated as often as female ones. This is why it's nice to see that The Owl House crew sprinkled in these two boys dancing with each other. Representation matters for everyone, and this little acknowledgment is something worth mentioning, even if it isn't the main ship.

The hallway scene: But let's face it, this is what we came to see. Now when you think about it, there's nothing all that special with this scene. It's a typical romantic moment with a heart to heart discussion followed with witty banter, all while a romantic melody is playing in the background. You see this in multiple types of media, especially in Disney cartoons. The only difference is that this scene features a same-sex pairing and that what makes it amazing. It's essentially normalizing something that has been seen as inappropriate for years. And the fact that Disney of all companies is the one that greenlit a scene like this? That just makes this moment all the more impressive. Plus, I mean, c'mon. You have to have a will of iron not to think these dorks are adorable with this little exchange.

Splash zone: There's not much to talk about or analyze here. I just think the dark humor of a kid waiting in the 'splash zone' is funny. Because what does the splash zone get used for? Grom? The fighter? I don't know, but the fact that a splash zone exists for either of those reasons is what gets a chuckle out of me.

Skara and her date getting hyped for Grom fight: That's it. Skara is officially the best background character. I'm sorry, but a character earns that title when they immediately switch from wanting to kiss their date to "WHOO! BRING ON THE GORE!" 

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

Luz’s greatest fear: This is something fans could have seen coming due to rewatching and reanalyzing the promo that dropped a little over a month ago. But for fans who ignored the promo, the episode did a great job of setting up this reveal. From the two times that Luz practically ignored her mother's texts, it can be pretty clear that Luz's fear would be something involving Camilia. However, before the episode premiered, everyone jumped on the idea that Luz's greatest fear would be Camilia forcing Luz to come back home. Instead, the scene portrays Luz's greatest fear as her mother's negative response to Luz lying for weeks. That idea is much more interesting to me because it reveals how much Luz cares so much about what her mother thinks of Luz. And unlike Amity with her parents, Luz's fears are much more justified due to Camilia actually being a good mother. A mother who planned to send her daughter away to summer camp, sure, but still a mother who would do that type of thing out of love rather than to protect an image. Which makes me hope to see more of Camilia in the future, just to witness the mother/daughter relationship she has with Luz. Because honestly, it feels like I've been working triple time with portraying that relationship myself.

Amity’s greatest fear: Ah yes, the one thing none of us could have predicted...ok, that's not true. Some of us did predict this, but most of us didn't take those predictions seriously. And BOY, were we wrong to do so. Because the idea that Amity's greatest fear is being rejected by Luz is both sad, yet kind of adorable. It proves just how much Amity has come to care for the same human she nearly got dissected, in episode THREE. It's a nice bit of character growth that I just can't help but gush over how sweet it is. But again, it's also depressing knowing that Amity is afraid by being rejected by Luz of all people. Luz! The girl who's sweeter than honey and would absolutely let Amity down gently if Luz didn't feel the same way (Which she does. She just doesn't realize it yet.). What's even more interesting is that it makes so much sense as to why Amity is more afraid of showing her fear to the school. Not only would Grom reveal that Amity has feelings for Luz, but it also has the problem of outing Amity as a lesbian, presumably long before she's ready. And seeing how her parents reacted to Amity's friendship with Willow, imagine what would happen if word got out that Amity had a crush on a human girl. Yeah, let's just say that Amity must be really grateful that Grom morphed into a vague, shadowy figure.

(Speaking of, can we PLEASE calling Luz oblivious for not knowing that Grom morphed into her? Yes, to us, it's painfully apparent who Grom was supposed to be. But it also looks vague enough to the point where it isn't unbelievable for Luz to not know it was her. Because from where Luz is standing, the only similarity is the height and body shape. If the crew stuck to using Luz's more apparent traits, then I'd say it's fine to say Luz is oblivious. But as is, it's not too far of a stretch for Luz not to know it was her.)

That dance scene!: Remember how some fans have been hoping for a slow dance between Luz and Amity? This is better.

From the choreography to the smooth animation, to their expressions, to even pure epicness of this scene. Everything about this dance is just so astonishing that I am convinced that several fans have watched it over and over and over again since the episode's release. And you want to know the best part? This scene has so many problems that I don't care about due to how great it is. Why does Eda just stand there and do nothing? I don't know, and I don't care. Why does Grom stand there and do nothing? I don't know, and I don't care. How did Luz and Amity come up with this perfect plan without communicating? I don't know, and I don't care. How did Luz catch Amity, even though it looked like they jumped off of the abomination at the same height, and would've landed at the same time? I don't-Ok, you get the point by now.

Don't get me wrong, these are all valid criticisms. But that's the testament of good writing to me. Because if a scene can make me forget/ignore the problems within it, then it's ok in my book!

The cherry blossom: And now we get to that symbolism that I've mentioned before. Because according to a five-second Google search: The Chinese describe the cherry blossom as a symbol for feminine dominance and, of course, a symbol for love. Now the feminine dominance part is clear, but I'm confident that The Owl House staff concentrated more on the whole "symbol of love" thing. Because how else are they supposed to hint that Amity and Luz are meant to be the endgame relationship? Reveal that Amity's gromposal was meant for Luz? C'mon. That would be-

It’s revealed that Amity’s gromposal was meant for Luz: ...You know those moments that are so awesome, iconic, and downright perfect that you just can't help but give a grand old cheer to it? That's this moment right here. Speaking of which: WAH-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

Seriously, some of you have no idea how big this scene is. It would have been so easy to cut the scene short at Amity throwing her half of the note, and leaving it up to interpretation for who the whole thing was for. But the fact that we get to see that it was meant for Luz, thus confirming that Amity has a crush on her, is absolute perfection. Not only is it because this is a big step for Disney in terms of representation, but to me, it seems like a normalization of gay culture. This type of reveal is something that would be done for several heterosexual relationships. So to confirm that Amity has a crush on Luz as if it was nothing...that's...that's just awesome. It's awesome, and I am so happy that Disney even greenlit this decision. And I'm not even gay! So I can not comprehend how some of you are feeling about this moment!

(Also, this does not mean that Lumity is canon. But it does at least mean that Lumity is going to be canon. Only now it's a question of when rather than if.)

Luz’s Text to Home: This was just a sweet moment. You get a better understanding of the love Luz has for her mother within these few seconds, then you did throughout the entire series so far. I also like that this implies that Luz is going to try being more honest with her mom about being in a whole new dimension. Which is again, is something I've been playing with.

Speaking of my aforementioned fanfic, during this entire scene, I was thinking to myself: "Man. Maybe I don't have to write a chapter based on this episode, after all. It pretty much did the job for me. I'm just glad that show didn't do anything that would make what I wrote completely worthless. Because that would just-"

Camilia is getting LETTERS?!: “...Well shit.”

Ok, gags and goofs aside, I honestly love this reveal. Because this presents a whole lot of questions. Like, how is Camilia getting these letters? When did she start getting them? And more importantly: Who the hell is sending them?! This is another thing that I enjoy about The Owl House. Just when you think you're satisfied with the episode you're given, the writers throw in something you could have never expected in a million years. This is why lately, it's a toss-up between The Owl House and Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts for the best show of 2020 for me.

(BTW, WATCH KIPO AND THE AGE OF WONDERBEASTS! It's SO GOOD!)

Those Grom pictures: These were just cute. Especially the last one.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

...Uh...Oh! I know!

King’s B-plot: A small complaint that I have for The Owl House is that most of the b-plots in several episodes just feel unnecessary. Episodes like "The First Day," and "Adventures in the Elements" had b-plots that were pointless and not as engaging as the a-plot. What's worse is that they seem like padding for time, when most of that time could be used for significant moments in the main plot. And honestly, King's story in this episode is the worst one yet. It's filler that is poorly paced and wasn't really all that funny (aside from the other b-plots which at least offered a few good jokes in them). I don't know. Maybe it's because I have Lumity brain rot and wanted more moments between those two, but I just could not get engaged in King's story.

And...yeah, that’s about it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This episode deserves a well earned A+! Sure it has its fair share of problems, but the many, MANY, things it does right outweighs what it does wrong. On top of that, its one of the few episodes of any show I've seen that kept me up at night. Why? Because I couldn't stop thinking about how amazing it was. "Enchanted Grom Fright" is a worthy contender for the best episode of the season, and probably the entire series. It was heartwarming, engaging, and quite possibly the most important thing Disney has made in years. What else could you call it other than Enchanting.

(And no, this doesn’t mean I’m reviewing episodes of The Owl House from now on. Just the ones that are worth talking about.)

[docholligay]

Love and Other Four Letter Words

For the Same Prompt Party! 800ish words. I don’t really do Mako and Ami, but I know a lot of y’all love it, so here is my contribution. 

Ami should be studying. She should be home, sitting at the little table in her room, poring over a book for some class, or test. It wouldn’t even really matter which one, it would all be a better way that she could be spending her time than pacing outside of a cafe. She had always kept her eyes on her books. Books were simple, and they didn’t judge her or contradict her, and if they frustrated her, she only had herself to blame.

Words on a page were safe. 

But she had said yes, barely knowing what she was saying yes to, and even now she assumed she must have gotten it all wrong. The date on the calendar didn’t really matter, and it was just as likely as anything else that Mako only needed help with studying, with some subject in school. Mako was straightforward. She would have said exactly what she meant, if she had meant it to be anything else. 

She was like math that way, and maybe that was why Ami liked her. She liked the other girls, as well, of course, but Usagi was so irresponsible, and Minako was confusing. Rei was sometimes horribly pushy and meanspirited. Haruka wasn’t that bright. Michiru--well, perhaps it pushed the boundaries of honesty to say that she liked all the other girls. 

But Mako, she liked. Mako was tall and broad and honest, like an oak tree in the sun. She had a quick smile, and an easy laugh, but with none of the carelessness Ami found in Usagi. She lived on her own, and she managed her own affairs so well that it seemed like most of their teachers didn’t even seem to realize it. Mako was, Ami supposed...pretty, though it seemed like such an out of character thing to think that she wondered how she’d ever arrived at it. 

It hadn’t been whatever it was at first sight. It had grown in Ami like a flower, like some wild rose she had not expected. Ami didn’t even know things like that could grow in her, that she could feel that way, until Mako had placed a friendly hand on her shoulder, and Ami felt her face grow hot. She found herself ashamed without quite knowing why. It wasn’t because she was blushing over a girl--Haruka and Michiru did much more than that, and no one seemed to mind, to say nothing of Minako--but simply because it seemed so WRONG on her. 

Ami looked for the signs, for the pieces of her formula that might add up, that might mean that what she thought of Mako might be returned, however alien it was, but she could not divine it. There was no solving for x, this time. 

The whole thing was stupid, really, and she felt a whole new red rush to her face as she thought of it. How ridiculous that everything in this world had to be cast in this light, had to make her think that two girls going to a little bistro cafe with fluffy cakes topped in pink icing had to be something other than a study date. Mako would have said if she wanted to meet her for any other reason, it could only be this. 

Mako hadn’t said why, of course, but Ami had brought all her books, weighing heavy on her back, all the same. She had probably just assumed that Ami would know. AMi was always invited out for study sessions. 

“Ami!” She knew whose voice it must have been the instant she heard it, but spun around instantly all the same. 

Mako was waving to her from down the street, dressed in a pink confection of a dress that should have looked silly, but somehow swooped about her and softened her, hitting delicately against the spring green of her sleeveless cardigan. Ami looked down at her clothes. She had been so sure this was just a study date, but people didn’t dress like that for study dates, did they? She might have been going somewhere afterward, that was the clear variable Ami had forgotten to account for. 

And then Ami saw the small bouquet in her hand, and the soft smile on her lips, with a hint of strange shyness. 

It had been the thing Ami thought it could never be, all along. She should have been excited, but all she felt was a twisting grip in her stomach, the way her too-big cardigan slumped off her shoulder, she pushed her glasses up, again and again, as if it could possibly straighten up the entire outfit. 

Mako stopped in front of her, twirling the ribbon on the bouquet in her fingers before handing it to Ami. 

“You look great.” 

Ami took the flowers, held them against her chest, and smiled. 

Maybe there was enough studying. Maybe it was time for field research.

[saintheartwing]

The Continued Targeted Harassment Campaign from the Troll Mundo De Bee, aka Debtoons, Aka Dedehbee

I'm sure this particular person I'm thinking of who recently sent me some VERY unkind guest reviews on my "The Pigshit Troll" tale on FF.Net will find out about this. I didn't WANT to talk about them anymore but then they kept sending more and more vitriolic reviews. Not just to me, but to my friends.  

See, here’s some of the things they said along with accusing me of trolling their fic, which I didn't, my critique was that their story seemed to be overlooking the fact Zim had done the mass slaughter of innocent humans and enslavement on top of that, and was Dib and Prof. Membrane hostage and can kill them at any time...all to make Gaz love him. So there's an inherently abusive power dynamic. But this person who I...at FIRST...was reluctant to name disregarded these very real issues I brought up and just told me, and I quote, "Go away, then. This story is happening whether you want it or not. :/"  This happened months ago. In fact, I brought attention to what they said back in OCTOBER on my DA account. So now you’re getting an idea of what they’re like. In response to a reasonable critique about problematic undertones, they just basically told me to get lost, then blocked me before I could respond to that. I tried to reach out to her friends after she complained about my review, and then she got mad about my "Jeremy" story, seemingly thinking that because I did a story about dark subject matter, I was being a hypocrite for complaining about what Zim did. 

Uh...that’s NOT HOW IT WORKS. 

The issue was the story wasn't addressing what Zim did as bad, my story made it REAL DAMN CLEAR what Jeremy had done was a tragedy and horrible, and that what he'd been through WAS VERY BAD. 

But YOU? YOU didn't do that in your story, it almost came off like you were putting Gaz in Stockholm Syndrome and going a kind of "Twilight" route of sort of glorifying a very problematic relationship. Now, I didn’t SAY specifically that in my review, do I actually think that what’s happening IS Stockholm Syndrome or exactly LIKE Twilight was, but it’s problematic in a SIMILAR VEIN. And THAT  was my problem. Not the dark subject matter, but you not caring about the implications...at least, that's how it looked to me. Or at the very least, not, in-story, treating Zim like what he'd done was wrong when it was. 

Anyway, that was months ago. I had basically forgotten about them until just I got these three anonymous guest reviews. I'm guessing that because they blocked me, they had to do it that way, they don't want to unblock me to leave a normal review. The reason why I'm pretty sure it's them is because they said, in their review, AND I QUOTE...

"And if my story had ANY grammar/spelling mistakes, that must be because I'm... not from U.S.? And don't speak English fluently? As a matter of fact, if you speak "only" intermediate English in my country (like I do), that's already one hell of an accomplishment. That's already getting xenophobic, ok?" Okay one, me criticizing spelling errors isn't xenophobia, how am I supposed to know you're from another country unless I actually go to your webpage or the like, and I'm not going to see that if I'm just replying to a review. So that's one reason I think it's her. 

Another is that she wrote, in her third reply, from "Opinadora (Guest)". Since that's Portuguese, and it happens to be the most spoken language (based on my Google research) in the home country this person says she's from on her homepage, i was damn sure it was her. She saw my Pigshit Troll story, thought it was about her even though the story was really more about addressing the...well, the actual, real life Pigshit Troll going around FF.Net, while also doing a critique both of common tropes in typical Zim story fare and also critiquing the common critique. It was me addressing issues with my own stories just as much, with Gaz forcing Dib to realize his own flaws. It wasn't really about this person who happens to be from Brazil (if her page is to be believed). They also said stuff like "I would say you draw like a 12 years old, but that would be a compliment, 'cause when I was 12, I used to draw at least three times as better than you" and "Also:I forgot, but if we're talking s*** about each other's works: not only you draw like a 8 years old, but the titles to your stories are also so f*** creepy that they make me nauseous even before reading the first chapter". 

So "Frost" is creepy? I can get why "The Pod People Invasion" is creepy, but a title like "Don't Read This Book" isn't inherently creepy. "Soft Hands" isn't. You're kinda just cherry picking. I made this journal pot on DA because she had decided to keep this "thing" going on going by leaving those guest reviews and assuming the story of “The Pigshit Troll” was about her, and she was just a total jerk about it. I had left her alone for weeks, MONTHS even until she popped up making those guest reviews again. And then she wrote "P.S.S.: If you give my name out to anyone who has nothing to do with this, and tell them to hunt me down, like you did to my watchers (which, BTW, wouldn't surprise me if you did), that just proves you're indeed a troll, and no better than PigShit here, okay? ". 

I was trying to be civil... despite how INCREDIBLY PISSED I am at you. And she also kept calling me a religious fanatic and other crap to her friends. I'm not, a simple look at my journals on DA or my posts here would prove that, so it amazes me that you couldn't be bothered to do research on me yet you expect me to instantly know you're from Brazil. So I find it interesting you expected me to look you up and find out things about you so I wouldn't leave a review you could find objectionable...but you couldn't be bothered to do any research about me. I mean, you seem very liberal, concerned about LGBTQ rights, worried about the deforestation in Brazil, those are big issues. And I sympathize also with having a fascistic leader in charge. You got Bolsanaro, we have Trump. I get how it feels.

That doesn't excuse how you behaved towards me. I'd stopped reviewing your stories, you're the one who brought all this back by reviewing mine. So if you want to talk, unblock me on FF.Net or here, and let's talk this out like adults. If you've got a problem with me, actually outright say it, don't leave it in a guest review.

Now, if she’d said "Look, ZAGR is just what I'm into, it's just a fetish of mine", then fine! FINE. She should have just SAID that to me. But don't just dismiss the moral questions I had by going "Don't like don't read". Because that's a fallacy. A story can start out great, but turn bad. Or start out bad, but turn better. And how am I supposed to know if it'll do either if I don't keep reading? Take, for example, Star Wars's sequel series. Started great! Amazing!...ended poorly. Star Wars prequels! Started bad! But the ending was pretty darn good! So don't just go "don't like, don't read/watch", because that's not a real, actual good argument. 

I had hoped, writing all this, she’d actually try and reach out. Or she’d stop.

But she didn’t. Let me quote what she sent to me next. "I was only mad because you plain trolled me on your review. Did you ever heard of "common sense" or "constructive criticism"?" 

Which my critique was. 

It was a critique of the character behavior of the main characters, not trolling. Bringing up the fact that Zim had taken Gaz's family hostage and could kill them at any time, but we were supposed to overlook that is a perfectly reasonable critique. 

But instead of responding normally, you just leave another guest review. I was willing to talk to you normally and to work things out fairly, but you keep being a jerk. Everything you've said hasn't been an actual, reasonable, fair criticism of any of my stories. It's just been 'ad hominem'. 

What IS ad hominem? That’s when you don't address the SUBSTANCE of someone's argument, you just attack the person arguing. Like if someone says "I think your story is glorifying abusive, unhealthy relationships" and you go "Yeah but you're into the inflation fetish so there"! That doesn't actually address the problem brought up about your story, it's just you attacking the other person. And she was doing that. 

For weeks I was nice enough to not bring up your name, but I said “if you keep it up, I’ll reveal your screen name because you're the one being unreasonable now by keeping this going, when I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie.” 

Her response? 

“Opinadora:I find it funny how you know you can't strike me back, because you know that I'm ten times more talented than you and that you're just jealous of me... u.u I'm not one to talk down on other artist's work, but that's what you get for being a snob. You're no better than me and you know it. In fact, you're no better than ANYONE, and I say that because you really are worthless. Yet you like to act superior and talk down on everyone to have some fun or... IDK. People like you shouldn't even be called "people". You're just psychos.”

She was engaging in the very behavior she said I was doing. I don’t get how she functions like this. This was getting insane. 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! 

She posted a of blog entry and I'll quote what they said. "I've been contacting a troll of mine" Anonymously, you did it via guest reviews on my story, you started all this again after I left you alone for months with three meanspirited reviews insulting me and my work when I'd been leaving you alone. And yeah, I responded by making the "fight" public, you refused to speak to me normally. I was willing to speak with you normally through notes or PMs on FF.Net or DA, you were the one who ignored that and kept insulting me in guest reviews because you still have me blocked. "He's not being civil enough to keep anyone anonymous." I haven't used either your real name (which I don't know) or your screen name. So this is just a lie. "He's going after my watchers to complain about me" I contacted ONE of your watchers who I knew that also made a story in which an entire chapter was deliberately invoked to insult me because an obvious villain character with my SCREEN NAME was used as an easy enemy for Zim to blow up. I contacted them to say "Can you please tell your friend to stop". Here's the full text, basically. "I’m sorry I keep sending these messages to you, the only reason I decided to note you to begin with was because your friend (NAME REDACTED) sent me three anonymous guest reviews, and called me a bunch of names like “douchebag” while insulting my art at the same time. I was willing to ignore her until she sent not one but THREE meanspirited shots at me. And I can’t reach her, so..." So it wasn't "your watchers" plural, it was ONE watcher whom I knew you knew because I couldn't find any other way to contact you, because, again, you childishly blocked me and refused my olive branch. "He should have enough common sense to know that his issue is with ME and none other." But you refuse to let me talk to you openly. On top of that, you're the one who blocked me, not the other way around. "He's such a lunatic he said he would give out my REAL NAME, if he knew. O.Ò" I never actually said that, I was clearly referring to your screen name. "I was nice enough to not bring up your name, but if you keep it up, I WILL use your screen name, because you're the one being unreasonable now by keeping this going, when I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie. " So now you're just lying. Plain and simple. I would say you should be ashamed of yourself, but it appears you don't understand shame. I know some people say "don't feed the trolls" but that doesn't always work. Sometimes shining a light on them is the only thing that does. And I swore to publish every word they've said to me if they kept doing meanspirited guest reviews done solely to insult me. 

What was their response to THIS? Well, they called me a retard. 

"Seu retardado:It isn't Stockholm syndrome...? And I KNOW that nobody will believe you 'cause you're just using ANONYMOUS reviews against me. Now, you've been quoting me on your tweets nonstop even after I blocked you. Just so you know, I ALSO reported you for abuse multiple times." "But go ahead. Do you really believe that they'll take your side of the story? I only gave out your name to warn my watchers about you ONCE, but you just keep quoting me when I blocked you, so we'll see what happens THEN." "VSF:Wow... You must REALLY be retarded. And here I was just saying that to insult you. O.Ò But I'm not apologizing for that when you didn't apologize for flaming my story, attacking my watchers, nor even trying to act superior, when... You're not. O.Ò And still you want to believe that you're a better artist than me. I should be laughing about that. 9.9 Seriously, what did you take? "

I’D HAD ENOUGH. Because they didn’t JUST call me all these names. They started going after fellow artists on FF.NET and friends of mine and leaving insulting guest reviews too. So...

What’s their name? I dunno their real name. But their screen name is Mundo De Bee. AKA Debtoonz AKA  Dedehbee. 

This is their page.

https://www.deviantart.com/mundo-de-bee 

This is their Twitter. Both normal AND NSFW 

https://twitter.com/Bee_Zorra

https://twitter.com/Bee_Zorra_Total

Their current FF.Net account (or at least I BELIEVE it is) https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8252861/Debtoons 

And their instagram.   https://www.instagram.com/bee.zorra/

They keep leaving really nasty reviews on my work. You can find some of their “samples” here. https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13241492/0/1/

Here's what they've also said. 

And this: 

They also said this on a friend's story in an anonymous review.

""Debtoons chapter 1 . 3h ago

You think Shaeril McBozo did all this? You're mistaken troglodytes. Shaeril McBrown is a stand by, she works for me, doesn't have a choice in the matter. Pigshit is an urban legend, he works for me. You're all such fools, you have yet to realize there is more to come, much more, and I will bring you all down. I have not forgotten what you all have done. I'm always watching, you're all my pawns, the game is mine, and I play to win. La Cefiera Queen Bee AKA Debtoons Also, stop copying my ZAGR ships, yours suck was."

I've tried to ignore her. But this has now been going on for MONTHS. I am done trying to be NICE, and trying to hold back. So I’m exposing her for what she is. She’s a bully. A hypocrite. A troll. She NEVER ACTUALLY RESPONDED to any of my actual problems about her story, instead just DEFLECTING and misrepresenting my points, then attacking the misrepresentations. 

I wasn’t even sure, at first, it was her  Even after getting another anonymous review from someone who said "I already know your name. Shaeril and little Debbie told me. Hi I'm Striberz. Actually, I'm anyone I want to be, but let's go with Striberz for now. Good to meet you b***!"

Little Debbie. Debtoonz.

She also sent THIS anonymous review to me.

The way  the review is written, the style, the little details, bringing up "Oompa Loompa" and the like and other little things that I never brought up publicly...this is why I believe Mundo De Bee, aka Debtoonz, is leaving me targeted harassment reviews.

But even THEN. After ALL THIS. My online friends suggested hold on, slow down. One of them said "I'll ask her about this". To try and get her side of the story. MAYBE it wasn't her. MAYBE it was just someone posing as her and trying to emulate how she talked. Months later, Mundo had written another story called 'Something called love', another ZAGR and DATR story. In the story, Zim was 20 years old, but Gaz was only 16. A friend of mine reviewed the story, making mention of the age gap and said 'Wait, that's illegal'. 

It was mostly a joke review but in all of five minutes, Mundo furiously spouted off not one, not two, but THREE pissed off PMs, calling my friend “Some Dude Who Likes To Write” on FF.Net retarded and the review retarded. Pretty horrible. Nevertheless, Some Dude wanted to be diplomatic, even after Mundo left a super nasty review of my story. Theyw  went to her Deviantart and asked if she left that revieand she said 'No', but the second they brought up the 'Oompa Lumpa' insult, a comment that Mundo had used directly to me in a note, well...she hid the comment and then ignored the other ones that were left and blocked Some Dude, pretty much indicting herself. 

Then, several weeks later, guess who leaves a review in which she accuses Some Dude of being a xenophobe, transphobe, misogynist and homophobe? Well, Some Dude knows someone who knows Mundo. They ask to talk. She PM’s them, she asks "What do you want to accuse me of now”. Some Dude says he’s not accusing her of anything, they just don’t like being called a bigot. Her response was to just deny leaving that review...and then to block them AGAIN.  Then we see a series of dozens of insult reviews, false accusations against myself, Zim’sMostLoyalServant and Some Dude along with others, all being attacked by her. She also evidently admitted to Some Dude that if she came across any review Nick and I left, even if it was positive, she would report it and tell the admins we sent the authors death threats. Which would be a LIE. 

And so...that’s what happened. Now you all know the truth. This woman from, I assume, Brazil, has been harassing me for quite a while. Me AND my friends. 

All this...because I wrote a bad review of her story asking why the story was glossing over Zim's cruel behavior and how much the story seemed to be like "Twilight" in a problematic way. I could have overlooked Zim falling in love with Gaz easily. My issue was why the story was overlooking his blatantly evil mass murder/blackmailing stuff and not acting like these were bad things at all. 

Her literal response was, and I again, I quote from her directly, "Go away, then. This story is happening whether you want it or not. :/" So no actual response as to why the story wasn't addressing the elephant in the room. Just that...and then blocking me when I tried to reply. 

I call that "cowardly". 

She's always responded like that. She never unblocked me, she just sent nasty guest reviews to me instead of reaching out to me directly on DA, or Twitter, or a variety of other methods. It can never be her directly putting her name on anything because she didn't have the courage to do that. 

She's a coward, she's a bully, she's a troll, and she's a hypocrite, doing all the things she's accused me of. What projection. How disgusting.

When I have an issue with a story, you know what my issue usually is? A moral one. And I'll say things like "This looks like domestic abuse, why are you acting like it's a you-go-girl moment for Gaz" or "Why is the fact Zim caused millions of deaths just casually overlooked". 

It's not "YOU SUCK!" or lots of swears or insults or all caps. Cuz that sort of thing IS a flame. That IS a troll. 

Saying things like "Why is the story acting like this character is a badass when their behavior's morally repulsive" isn't a flame. Or being a troll.

Anyway, now you all know. Mundo de Bee, Debtoonz,  La Cefiera Queen Bee, Dedehbee , whatever you wanna be called, this is what she’s like. 

SHAME. ON. YOU. 

[cooltrainererika]

Alt-talia: It’s Starting to Feel Like Christmas

Hello, hello everyone! Joy to the world!

For some reason I thought this event began today, not yesterday, until pretty recently… but fortunately, while it’s a day late, I got to write this! I did plan on others, but I’m releasing this now so I can get it out just in case, especially since the two others could also fit on another day. This is mainly for 12/16: Presents, but it can also fit under Decorations and Traditions, so three in a row! Woot!

This time, I want to write more about characters I may have missed during Hetaween, since my character pool ended up narrower than intended. ...And saying that, I’m writing about two characters I’ve written twice in that event! Yay!

I debated whether to write about this topic in general or about it specific this year, but chose the latter. I hope I’ll get to release a more in-depth fic about it in general some other time. So yeah, I’m using some really fresh material again this time.

Oh yeah, BTW, most of my fics take place in my “Alt-talia” semi-AU where I aim to capture history and culture more faithfully and most importantly overhaul the many characters who make no sense drastically. This will especially be noticeable for England. So yeah, you have been warned. Though maybe he’s a bit OOC here compared to how I usually write him? Also, it should be noted that I use country names when talking about the characters as countries, and with human names when referring to them as individuals; while in Alt-talia the difference can be more hazy than canon, I mean more talking purely about their personal interactions and the like. 

Also, this is not intended to be shipping! 

This was supposed to be like a few lines with no real arc, but whelp. At least I still kept it short. Also there’s a deleted scene I didn’t know how to end as a bonus at the end. 

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(Oh, and those who read my fics; please comment or reblog? I work hard on these, and they would be highly appreciated.)

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It’s Christmastime Again, Lukas Haraldsen

Every year since 1947, Norway had a tradition of sending special Jul presents to a certain nation very dear to him. 

His Norwegian Spruce trees were prized by all; he regularly got bidders from all over Europe, and had witnessed many a fight over them get ugly. But the best of the best were only reserved for a certain United Kingdom; and the best among these, the Queen of the Forest, nurtured by the songs, voices, and arms of some of the world’s best, most loving foresters, for England. Specifically his capital, London.

After all, nothing could make up for the debt he had for him. In the dark days of Nazi occupation, London for him was hope; it was where England protected his royal family as they awaited the Nazis’ demise, from where the radio blared and urged him to fight on, where the skies have become a proving ground to show that the Nazis could be vanquished. 

He knew this year had been a mess for his friend, and his recent election, the second one that year, had done nothing to mitigate it; and while even Norway knew only he himself and his uncharacteristically impulsive decision really was to blame for his current situation, hopefully, this would improve his mood for the uncertain road ahead. 

Norway was a quiet, unassuming man, but he took his presents seriously. And he also took Jul seriously. 

And this year was no different. While he sent many trees every year to different cities in the kingdom, including to some of Scotland’s, the most important was of course the one sent to the City of Hope itself. 

And now, in the heart of Trafalgar Square, wearing a traditional sweater which may as well have been a T-shirt compared to the attire of the Londoners passing by as they started their day, whistling En stjerne skinner i natt and Vårres Jul to himself. 

“Mmm… Ah, Arthur!”

He waved and smiled gently as the man in question, dressed very much warmly in a thick duffel coat and wool knit scarf, came into view. 

“Ahem. I’m here too.”

Today beside him was one Peter Bates, or Sealand as he preferred to be called, adorably bundled up in a woolen coat, mittens, knit hat, and light blue scarf, now crossing his arms. 

“Right, right. Sorry.”

“Ello, Norway. Don’t mind him, he said he wanted to see the tree again and ‘His Highness’ Prince Bates told me to take him with me. Bloody cold here today, isn’t it?”

He was shivering a bit, his nose a noticeable red and his breath a white mist. 

“Nothing I’m not used to. I’ve been waiting for you here. I chose one which is much older and taller than usual. See for yourself.”

Norway moved aside so that his gift would be in full view of his friend. It was a product of the forests on the banks of Trollvann lake, raised with love as any tree worthy of Trafalgar Square would be, almost twice as tall and two or three decades older than the first tree to have had the honor to have the honor of being offered on this annual occasion. 

England stared at the tree. 

Silence. 

“Wow, it’s huge!”

Peter was the first one to speak, his eyes sparkling. 

“England? ...England?”

Norway asked, watching his blank expression. 

“Well… I know that I am causing quite a bit of annoyance, but if I remember correctly, you weren’t in the EU, right?”

Norway was now perplexed. 

England looked to him with a with an expression that could only be said to be both a gentle smile and disappointment at the same time. 

“It seems like it needs a drink, does it not? It looks a bit dry and quite thin.”

Norway thought he felt his heart sunk a little. 

Peter sharply elbowed England in the side, making him gag. 

“Sealand, please don’t.”

“It’s a present, you jerk! ...Don’t listen to Scrooge over here, she’s beautiful.”

“Well you do live on a metal platform in the ocean…”

He jabbed him again.

Norway’s face went a bit red. 

“She’s much older and taller than the usual ones. It won’t look just like a smaller one you would have in your living room.”

“Sorry. I’m just saying it looks a bit sparse, is all.”

Norway lifted up one of many boxes of lights. 

“Mmm… Well, will you be too busy to help?”

“Yes, am afraid. More negotiations and all. So I am presuming it will be lit in the cucumber style as per usua- ach!”

Peter this time kicked him in the knee, making the older nation’s legs buckle a bit. 

“I’ll help, Mister.”

The boy said. 

“No, no, you don’t have to.”

————

Norway had to admit; maybe he had gone too much for size this time around. But Peter insisted that it not looking completely picture perfect was what made it look real instead of “Plastic tat”. 

And, as usual, put up the lights his own way, pure white streaks from top to bottom, “cucumber style” as England called it. 

And despite his complaints, on the night of lighting two days later, as the streams of light lit up in the heart of London in the crisp air and Norway listened to Peter cheer loudly with the crowd, the mayor of Oslo give her speech, and children caroling, amongst a sea of Londoners peppered with tourists, England stood beside him. 

“Well, it indeed finally feels like Christmas now.”

Norway looked to his friend, whose eyes were on the star, towering almost 25 meters above. 

“Well… maybe it is not quite up to your usual quality. But stability has been hard to come by nowadays; this tree being here every year, that I can rely on.”

Norway merely gave a quiet “Mmmm.” in response. 

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So that’s that. If anyone desires an explanation, I’ll provide it in a reblog or something, but I’d rather my stories inspire further research.

Also, “Lukas Haraldsen” is the name I’m using for Norway now, since a lot of Norwegians don’t seem to like “Bondivik”. “Haraldsen” because the founding king of the country is said to be King Harald Fairhair, and as Alt-talia nations can choose their surnames I thought it would be fitting if the surname Norway chose was “Son of Harald”. This name isn’t final though. Especially “Lukas”; does baptism change names again? Also Sealand has been renamed to “Peter Bates” instead of Kirkland; I don’t know why Hima chose that surname, since Sealand’s whole shtick is that he wants to be seen as an independent country. Why would he have the same surname? “Bates” is the surname of his owners, BTW, if that wasn’t clear. 

Again, this wasn’t really supposed to be a complete story with a neat conclusion, and not as heartwarming as intended. Kind of a similar case to Keep Calm actually, which also just happened to involve England. It was an opportunity to show England being a d*ck because, believe me, Alt-England can be an absolute d*ck when he wants to be. But despite the fact that he’s one of the characters whose d*ckery I actually kind of enjoy writing in a Love to Hate way, I haven’t had the chance to do that so far in these events... and I guess I got halfway there? I guess just ending it on England passive-aggressively insulting the tree was just a bit too meanspirited for me. 

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Deleted scene

<F%CKYE4H: Wow, it’s like ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ in real life! What, are you gonna break out the aluminum trees now?>

<StillInInferno: Mate, at least you have a real tree, because down here it’s not only hot as hell but if I had any Christmas trees to begin with, they’ve already fucking burned to shit.>

<MooseOfMaple: Dad… With the hassle you’ve been causing everyone you might not have the right to complain about someone showing kindness and holiday spirit to you.>

Arthur huffed as his children ribbed him in the family chat that night. 

<RuleBritannia: Don’t preach to your father, we went over this.>

<F%CKYE4H: Still, giving, not receiving, y’know.>

<MooseOfMaple: Dad, please… As someone who knows spruce trees very well, I do question Norway’s decision, but still. The world doesn’t revolve around you anymore.>

<RuleBritannia: I do not think that. Please stop accusing me of it.>

<BlacKoru: Yeah. It revolves around America. Make of that what you will.>

<F%CKYE4H: Kiwi! I can see that!>

[murasaki-murasame]

The moral of Ao no Flag chapter 44 is that Shingo is definitely the kind of person to be like ‘I vote third party because both political parties seem equally bad to me’.

Anyway, oh boy do I have some Thoughts on this chapter, which will be under the cut.

This is definitely gonna be a really polarizing chapter for a lot of people, and in a lot of ways I’m nervous about where it’ll go, and which characters Kaito is being more sympathetic toward here.

Since this whole chapter was about characters talking about homophobia from different angles, I may as well just jump straight into it as well and talk about the ideas and themes being discussed here.

To be blunt, Shingo’s attitude in this chapter pisses me off because it’s the kind of ‘neutrality’ that actively benefits oppressors and abusers. It’s the kind of attitude that just keeps victims from being able to defend themselves, and that allows abusers to keep hurting people. It’s the type of middle-of-the-road nothingness that supports the status quo, which in practice just means that people like him just end up sitting back and watching homophobes beat up gay people and all they feel like doing is going ‘hmm I dunno guys, both sides seem equally at fault here :/’. This is exactly the sort of situation where the idea of the paradox of tolerance comes into play. If you express universal tolerance toward everything, including intolerance, that just creates a situation where bigots and abusers get free reign to hurt people, which is obviously a bad thing. The only way to actually take any meaningful steps to punishing and preventing bigotry is to accept the fact that not everything deserves to be tolerated, and that punishing hatred is not morally equivalent to hating and hurting innocent people.

The situation with Touma and Kensuke pretty bluntly illustrates the imbalance of power and blame that lies at the heart of this. Literally the only thing that Touma did was being gay and having a crush on his best friend. And on the other hand, Kensuke decided to step into this situation that didn’t involve him at all and physically assault Touma over it. Acting like those two things are on any level meaningfully equivalent is cowardly and selfish. Kensuke’s own feelings and personal history are a separate topic that at this point have nothing to do with the immorality of how he treated Touma. Particularly because what Touma did has literally no direct connection to Kensuke. All Touma did was just tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke was outside of the room eavesdropping. He wasn’t involved in the conversation at all, and he wasn’t even the subject of Touma’s feelings. He just went out of his way to force his own insecurities and baggage and bigotry onto a situation that has nothing to do with him. Maybe if it was a situation where, like, Touma had a crush on Kensuke and suddenly kissed him and Kensuke freaked out about it, then his past trauma might at least somewhat excuse it, but that’s not what happened.

Even though on paper the topic of male victims of rape is something that should be discussed and respected, I feel like it was kinda haphazardly thrown into this chapter to try and make Kensuke seem even somewhat sympathetic, even if it didn’t really work. As I said, the fact that Touma was talking about having feelings for someone other than Kensuke, and that Kensuke wasn’t part of the conversation at all, means that there’s absolutely no room to act like Kensuke’s trauma has anything to do with it. Him having past trauma because of some other gay person he knew doesn’t give him the right to randomly beat up any other gay person he knows about. Again, it’d be one thing if Kensuke was actually part of the conversation, or the subject of Touma’s feelings, or if Touma actually acted inappropriately toward him in a way that would be triggering, but, yet again, literally all Touma did was tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke decided to go out of his way to barge in and assault him. Besides, if we’re going down the route of moral equivalency, it seems hypocritical for Kensuke to use his own past assault to completely ignore the fact that he also assaulted Touma. If they want to play the both sides card to get sympathy points, they don’t get to have it both ways and ignore Kensuke’s own assault toward Touma.

Which is it’s own thing, really. That most people who try and play the devil’s advocate centrist role aren’t actually what they seem to be. They’re usually not arguing in any sort of good faith. More often than not, they have their own biases and prejudices, and don’t in fact see everything equally. They just use the idea of politeness and tolerance to try and guilt-trip people who want to point out that it’s shitty of them to beat up a gay dude just for him being gay.

On the one hand, you can definitely say that Mami’s friends were inconsiderate and disrespectful toward Kensuke’s past assault, but honestly that whole plot point felt so transparently like ‘a plot point’, so to say, that I can’t even really suspend my disbelief over it, so I can’t exactly blame them for not caring. It’d be one thing if these were real people talking about real experiences, but since they’re just fictional characters, in this sort of situation I think what matters more is the author’s own intentions and methods in how and why they chose to bring this sort of thing up in the first place.

I was kinda hoping that there might be more layers to the whole situation with Kensuke, but nah it really was exactly what it seemed to be right from the get-go, and he really is just inexcusably bigoted and awful. But at least I expected that. I’m more disappointed with Shingo for deciding to completely throw Touma under the bus in order to try and protect Kensuke and his gross homophobic violence. He’s very rapidly losing points with me after this chapter, to be honest. Even on top of how incredibly rude he’s being to Touma by more or less accusing him of being just as bad as Kensuke, it seems really shitty of him to suddenly be defending Mr. “I have literally no choice but to treat men and women differently and to treat all women as sex objects and all gay men as rapists. I am just a smol creacher I cannut help it uwu” after the whole flashback with him sticking up for Mami and validating her desire to just be seen as a person and not as a woman. It kinda makes him seem really fake and two-faced in retrospect.

Not to mention the last minute implication that the blonde girl is apparently Shingo’s girlfriend, which makes his attitude seem even more shitty, honestly.

I honestly have to wonder if there’s some deeper reason why he seems to be pretty much abandoning his morals so he can aggressively double down on defending Kensuke’s actions at all costs. It just seems like a bit of an unnatural 180 for him.

And then there’s the whole scene with Futaba and co at the end of the chapter. Which is it’s own whole thing. I don’t really have much to say about it, but I do gotta admit that the whole way that they’re hammering in this idea of it being rude to Futaba for anyone to wish that Touma and Taichi could have gotten together is kinda feeling more and more uncomfortably meanspirited as time goes on. I dunno exactly how to put it, but especially after the whole “Touma’s apparently just as bad as Kensuke and apparently deserved to get assaulted for being gay” thing, it just seems all kinda of uncomfortable and loaded with all sorts of potential baggage that we immediately then had a whole scene of Mami basically going “you shouldn’t care so much about Touma’s feelings, you should just prioritize yourself and be happy about the fact that YOU’RE the one who ended up dating Taichi instead of Touma”. It really just seems like Touma’s getting shit on from all sides of the equation here. In a lot of ways it doesn’t really help that I don’t even think Taichi and Futaba’s relationship is that interesting or deep, so it’s just kinda annoying to see it get propped up and used as ammunition for this weird guilt-trip-y ‘if you want Touma to be happy, that just means you hate Futaba and her relationship with Taichi’ attitude.

Then there’s the whole thing at the very end of the chapter with Futaba unintentionally striking a raw nerve by being all cliffhangery and suddenly bringing up the [not-so-]hypothetical situation of Masumi being in love with her. I’m curious to see how that goes, but let’s just say that I don’t really want Masumi to also get shit on in the next chapter after what happened in this one, lol.

On the note of Masumi, we also finally got confirmation that she, for one reason or another, suspected that Touma was gay before she eventually became certain of it. I’m still curious to see if there’s any specific reason why she suspected it that early on, but I guess we’ll see.

Most of all I really wanna see more of Taichi’s thoughts on everything, since he’s been kinda non-existent for the last few chapters. Though I’m a bit nervous about whether or not I’ll even like what happens when we get a deeper look into his head.

At least for the time being I’m not going to personally judge Kaito for what happened in this chapter, since at the very least everything the characters said is more or less realistic for how teenagers talk about these things, but the big question is just which side of the argument Kaito wants us to sympathize with more in the long run. It’s one thing to just present different sides of an argument in a piece of fiction, but when it becomes clear that you as the author personally advocate for one over another, then it’s something worth talking about, one way or another.

This was really negative and ranty, but it’s not like I hate the series or anything, lol. I mean, my opinion on it might take a sharp downward turn if it becomes clear that Kaito just wants to throw Touma [and Masumi] under as many buses as possible while cozying up to violent homophobes, but we’ll see if it gets to that sorta point.

I’m just particularly sensitive about these sorts of centrist, willfully ignorant attitudes because they’re so directly at fault for so many of the world’s current political problems.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Doug Walker’s The Wall

You know, I thought that nothing could harm the Nostalgia Critic’s career after he survived the whole #ChangeTheChannel fiasco. I thought Doug Walker would be able to survive anything. I thought the Nostalgia Critic could never sink that low again.

I was wrong.

The latest review by Doug Walker is, in fact, not a review – it is a full-on parody musical that lampoons Pink Floyd’s The Wall. But lampooning is probably a bit too kind; this lampoons its subject matter in a way that would make Seltzer and Friedberg blush. This is pretty much the nadir of parody right here, there’s no getting around it.

In short: This fucking sucks. But leaving it short isn’t any fun, now is it? Why does this suck?

Well, for one, Doug seems to have absolutely no understanding of the subject matter, despite claiming to love it. He makes the most third-grade observations, like “It’s BORING!” or “It’s PRETENTIOUS!” but literally none of these criticisms hold any sort of water or weight because everything is being sung in piss-poor parodies of Pink Floyd songs. Despite Doug’s claims that this is all meant to be a loving tribute, it comes off more as what someone who just utterly hates Pink Floyd’s music would say the music sounds like. I think perhaps the worst ‘criticism’ of all is when he calls one of the songs “Oscar-bait”… you know, despite the movie being based on an album, not the other way around. The song wasn’t made for the movie, the movie was made for the song.

The music is just downrtight awful as well. The reinterpretations of the original instrumentals are soulless and disgusting, Doug and everyone else in this can’t sing for shit, and the lyrics are just vapid non-criticisms or observations a grade schooler would make. Then there’s getting Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor to star. He can’t act for shit, and despite being a famous musician with demonstrable talent in his field… he never once sings. Well, he does sing once, but it’s the SpongeBob theme for some reason. Maybe this is a sly allusion to the widely-hated SpongeBob special “Atlantis Squarepantis,” where they got David Bowie to play the king of Atlantis and, despite the episode being a musical, never have him sing. Of course, I think that’s a bit too cerebral for Doug, so probably not; it’s just an accidental comparison to a vastly superior piece of media I can make. And yes, “Atlantis Squarepantis” is a piece of shit, but it’s still better than this.

Another big flaw is the absolutely shitty production value. One of the reasons The Wall is so great is because it has incredible production value, incredible animation… and all of that is absent here. This has some of the most mind-numbingly awful animation on the internet, with crappy CGI and stock video effects coexisting and congealing into a fetid pool of garbage. And that’s not even getting into the god-awful animation for the freaky monster that is existing as a tribute to the wonderfully deranged animation from the beloved trial sequence; in fact, I’m pretty sure that the entire trial segment in this video is nothing but an excuse to show off a bunch of furry OCs, because there is no other discernible rhyme or reason to anything being shown onscreen.

There’s also the way this whole thing where he seems to be… modernizing the whole album? Like aside from adding his insults to the work of Pink Floyd to the songs, a lot of the imagery he’s throwing into this is just really bad, shallow, and nonsensical. And of course, there’s something really tacky and tasteless about trying to update a very personal, slightly biographical work that is filled with cultural context that Doug just constantly ignores. Perhaps the worst such moment is the chants of “HASHTAG” in one of the songs, but then it just hits you with the goose-stepping phones right after and frankly that takes the cake.

I think the worst part of all of this is Doug’s sheer delusions of grandeur. Look at the way he talks about the album during the commercial break, blatantly lying and calling it a “love-letter” as well as saying it’s “great stuff” when it just so clearly ISN’T. The music is awful and lifeless, Doug just can’t sing for shit, the whole thing is so bitter and meanspirited… And then there’s just the sheer audacity of this man who is standing in front of framed pictures of his own movies, his big YouTube subscriber count award thing on the wall behind him, calling this movie pretentious, egocentric, and up its own ass. This movie is like the physical embodiment of a lack of self awareness.

And you know what? Maybe all of this wouldn’t be so bad if there was any actual reviewing in this. The entire review is like two lines at the end of the video. Two lines that are preceded by a shitty stock video effect.  This is a monument to Doug’s sins. This is his egomania in its purest, most unadulterated form. The fact he actually wrote Corey Taylor pointing out that he needs to review a movie in a movie review and then proceeds to not do that and just lead into a nonsensical reference is just… insulting. Doug wastes nearly forty minutes of your life, insulted you, and refused to give any insightful or valid criticisms. And this is a guy you are ostensibly watching for his opinions and critiques of films in between the comedy, and he can give good insight, especially in his more down-to-earth reviews, so it baffles me even more why he would think it is a good idea to eschew analysis of one of the most symbolic films ever made just to do a shitty Disaster Movie-quality parody album.

I think what’s so strange is how I have no idea who this video is supposed to be appealing to. Pink Floyd fans will hate it, people who like music will hate it, people who like Doug’s reviews will hate it… there’s literally no one I can see enjoying this video in any sense, not even an ironic one. Maybe if you’re a hardcore furry who wanted more fursonas in The Wall you’ll enjoy it, but you have to get through half an hour of Doug’s shitty singing to hear it and then you have to sit through the worst animation this side of Doogal. It’s not worth it. Just go to e621 and beat off, it’s a better and less shameful time than watching through this fucking trainwreck.

Fuck you for this, Doug. If this was your passion project, it’s pretty clear to me your passion is best focused elsewhere, because if you really did put your all into this your all is worth absolutely nothing. This is insulting, embarrassing, and downright pathetic. I have never felt so much secondhand embarrassment for another human being in my life than I did watching this. I’m a man who can find something to love in some really crappy movies, but god fucking dammit, this is beyond me. Doug Walker deserves every ounce of hatred and scorn he gets for this video. It is, without a doubt in my mind, the single worst piece of film of this entire year, and perhaps the single worst video on YouTube’s website. It certainly deserves that “honor” more than some goofy pop song by a teenager ever did.

Oh hey, maybe I should end this review on an ambiguous, nonsensical, open ended note like Doug did, because apparently that’s what GOOD reviewers do! Here’s the baby from Eraserhead.

Fuck you Doug.

[jancys-blue-bayou]

Come on now, how am I supposed to not want every single number on that list for jancy??? Except for the appearance one I guess unless we're talking uh 👀👀👀 things that are less... apparent. (Sorry I'm terrible)

 Holiday headcanon

Answered!

2. Cooking headcanon

Jonathan “Breakfast Boy” Byers is the better cook, having cooked for his family for years. I go a little bit back and forth on Nancy, I don’t think cooking would be something she’s particularly into, her mom is always in the kitchen and maybe she might’ve had a phase when she was little where she liked to help out in the kitchen but think she outgrew that and so isn’t used to cook much at home, though she’s not an idiot of course and knows her way around a kitchen she’s not a spectacular cook. She might like baking more? Since that’s a bit more precise and exact “science”, you can follow a recipe exactly while cooking you generally wing it more, and I can see Nancy liking to do things like that, exact and precise. I think Jonathan likes cooking more than Nancy does and therefore is the one to cook more often, but also Nancy enjoys cooking with Jonathan more than on her own.

3. Sleeping headcanon

Jonathan Byers is the comfiest pillow in the world. That’s what Nancy firmly believes, I believe. We see in s1 Jonathan turn onto his side/tummy when sleeping. My hc for their sleeping position together is not set in stone, I lean towards Jonathan sleeping on his back but kind of turned towards his side and Nancy sleeping with her head tucked into the crook of his neck or on his chest, her arm slung across him holding him and his wrapped around her, I like them nestled close like that, at least in times of comfort. Can also see them both like sleeping on their side, heads turned to each other and like as close together as they can be without actually being on top of one another, and limbs all entangled. Can also see them spooning.

4. Driving headcanon

Jury’s still out on whether Nancy has her license or not. I hc that she does but that she prefers letting Jonathan drive, she feels completely safe with him at the wheel and he’s had more driving experience while she’s a bit unsure perhaps. Kind of feel like driver’s ed could’ve been a thing Nancy struggled with, which I kind of like? Like with her straight A’s in school and studious smart mind can kind of see her having a weak spot like that, and her problem not being to learn traffic rules or anything like that but rather speeding and being to antsy a driver. I hc like with cooking that this is a thing where it’s something they both can do but Jonathan is a bit better at it and also likes to do it more than Nancy does and so she’s happy to let him take the wheel.

5. Bathing/showering headcanon

Answered!

6. Hugging headcanon

Answered! (Mostly for Nancy but Jonathan is just the same, they’re huggy huggy huggy).

7. Kissing headcanon

Headcanon: They’re really really good at it okay? For real though that amazing passionate hungry kiss/makeout/pinnacle of human achievement aside it’s uh…. real nice. They kiss a lot. A lot a lot a lot. Jonathan just finds it really hard not to kiss those lips I mean look at them. And Nancy finds that Jonathan is a natural and is just shook by him kissing her like that I mean jesus christ. Kiss time they see each other in the morning and Nancy will just keep leaving him with little kisses throughout the day. Quick pecks and cheek kisses at school as they’re not super big on serious PDA. Oh and darkroom kisses! You better believe they make out in there all the time. And to Nancy’s pleasure it’s often Jonathan initiating it then.

8. Sex headcanon

Answered!

9. General physical contact headcanon

They’re ALWAYS touching okay. If not kissing or hugging just holding hands or arms around the other or cuddled together on a couch or Nancy plopping herself down in his lap. Look at how even before they got together they always stood like needlessly close together for no real reason at times lmao like all that was missing was the final step of physically touching. Also just feeling Nancy’s hand on him is huge for Jonathan. Her caressing his hand after wrapping his palm in s1. And even more so her comforting, strengthening hand on his shoulder as he’s apologizing to Will’s unconscious body in s2, it’s monumental okay. She can always strengthen him just by putting her hand on him.

10. Physical appearance headcanon

Ahem. He’s got large hands okay. Make of that what you will. That’s all I’ll say about that.

11. Wardrobe headcanon

Kind of moot to answer given we’ve seen both their fall/winter wardrobes and in bts pics of s3 filming their summer wardrobes so not much headcanoning left to do here but I’ll say I am in love with it all okay. I rock a strong sweater game myself if I may say so, so much respect to the Sweater King and Queen of Hawkins. Also Nancy looks amazing in her summerdresses. And I’m glad the bts pics of s3 seem to confirm one headcanon I have: Jonathan Byers does not wear shorts.

12. Jewelry headcanon

Another kind of moot to answer (guess these are more aimed for literary characters) we know of Nancy’s ballet necklace and Jonathan not wearing any. Like I wrote into my Christmas fic I can see Nancy getting Jonathan some cool slightly unusual necklace that’s very much him, like something music related. And thinking he looks super cool in it (like Charlie who wears necklaces very well).

13. Nickname headcanon

Always always always the Thumper headcanon started by the eponymous @iamthethumperanon here and used by me in uh, many fics but for instance here. Otherwise there’s always Nance. I don’t like Jon, he doesn’t feel like a Jon he feels like a Jonathan. And lmao I’m still very pleased with the phone nicknames I gave them in the modern AU sexting fic I did, Nancypants and Jon-Jon aka Thumper. I like him calling her Nancypants sometimes lol and she always lightly smacking him on the arm when he does.

14. Dancing headcanon

Jonathan’s not a dancer. But he’s also not one to say no to Nancy Wheeler. Still mourn we didn’t get more than the iconic look at the Snow Ball come on Nancy could dance with Dustin for one or a few songs but then we needed Jonathan sliding up with “Mind if I cut in?”. Hell I hc that they danced on their own afterwards instead. If Nancy puts on some music in private and beckons for his hand he’s never one to turn her down

15. Singing headcanon

Answered!

16. Anger headcanon

At each other? No. Apart from the fight in the woods and getting huffy over their pent up feelings in the motel room they’re sweetie pies to each other all the time. They have playful banter but it’s not meanspirited in the slightest. I think what would infuriate Nancy the most about Jonathan would be if he kept putting himself and his own needs last, always prioritizing taking care of others above himself. But she wouldn’t get angry at him for it because it’s not something to have anger about, but she’d try to make him see it’s okay to think about himself too. Sure they’d have a fight eventually like all couples but they don’t walk around are meanspirited and angry at each other all the time. And on the other side of the coin, quickest way to poke Nancy or Jonathan’s berserk button is of course to endanger the ones they love. Jonathan beats the shit out of Steve in the alley because of what Steve spews out about Will and Joyce, but with where his and Nancy’s relationship is now, insulting Nancy like that would provoke the same reaction.

17. Soft spot headcanon

Not sure what this one means but uh… Jonathan has a soft spot for everything Nancy does and vice versa? Idk.

18. Favorite possession headcanon

Answered for Nancy here! For Jonathan it’s the camera Nancy gives him in s1.

19. Favorite photograph headcanon

Oh boy. Probably as of yet untaken in canon. Think Jonathan’s favorite photo would definitely be one he takes of Nancy sometime, or one of Nancy together with Will and Joyce.

20. Relationship with/thoughts on _____ headcanon

Music. They overlap more than some might think. We’ve gotten a lot in canon on Jonathan’s music taste (The Clash, Bowie, Joy Division, Television, Talking Heads, The Smiths) gives a pretty clear picture. For Nancy we have the Blondie thing on her wall and Africa by Toto playing in her room in s1 (as I recall it was diegetic music at least? Right?). I hc that Nancy listens to pop, would love Madonna for instance, but also likes new wave and stuff like it and I think Jonathan with his tastes would like new wave too so they’d meet there and I hc Nancy liking Bowie too. She broadens her tastes a little through Jonathan (what did they listen to in the car on the way to Murray?) and she likewise influences him, getting him to open up a bit more to some more poppier stuff (at first tolerating it in his car then discreetly bopping along and finally admitting he likes some of it). And ofc she loves to tease him like she did in the hallway scene and Sassy Boy Byers teases her right back.

[lia-nikiforov]

Spring 2018 Anime Watchlist

THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME THIS SEASON I HAD TO BINGE 37 EPISODES IN THREE DAYS TO CATCH UP

Dropped

Mahou Shoujo Site: Although I originally intended to irony watch this one, expecting something like MahoIku or King’s Game, its sadistic reveling in the main character’s suffering was impossible to stomach. I felt physically ill at the end of it. I’m not, in principle, opposed to gory stuff, y’all know I sat through the whole stupidity that was King’s Game, but MahoSite doesn’t even reach the level of ridiculous over the topness to make it funny, it’s just a cascade of misery porn with not a single moment of levity or triumph for the heroine. I think I was done the moment that gratuitous “if you punch my stomach my period won’t come” line, because apparently some dudes get off on the idea of a woman being so brutalized she stops menstruating??????

Kakuriyo Yadomeshi: I was willing to give this one the three-episode trial after the first episode in spite of the godawful main love interest and the fact that the grandfather sold the MC into literal slavery wtf, because the main girl seems proactive and independent buuuuuuut fuck I hated episode 2. Not only does she seem to quickly forgive her grandfather for SELLING HER OFF, the men around her keep speaking over her and making decisions for her and she turns out to be just independent enough to not be a complete doormat, but not enough to appear defiant and I hate it. Thanks but no thanks, I ain’t here to see a romantization of being literally sold into an arranged marriage.

YOU THINK?!

Cutie Honey Universe: Before this, I’d had zero interaction with any other iteration of Cutie Honey, so I wasn’t sure of what to expect beyond knowing this was from the creator of Devilman. Certainly blatant homophobic jokes and jokes about physical abuse wasn’t in my list of thigs I expected to see, yet here we are. I ain’t here for “hyuk hyuk look at these fat/butch/ugly lesbians, aren’t they ridiculous” jokes either.

Butlers x Battlers: I completely forgot I watched this one. I don’t remember anything about it except being confused

GeGeGe no Kitaro: This one didn’t do anything wrong, but I was never gonna watch it. I just checked out episode 1 because I heard it made a dig at Logan Paul. I wish they’d gone all the way through and killed that character, but I guess you can’t have it all. It was actually a pretty decent episode, and in a weaker season I’d probably keep watching it, but there’s just too much stuff coming out. And I have watched previous Kitaro anime and it’s sometimes too meanspirited for me.

Uma Musume: I didn’t expect much from this show and was pleasantly surprised by the double-length first episode. Special Week was a nice, fun protagonist to root for and although the world-building was weird as heck, it was fun and positive. So I’m not exactly sure of what happened with episode 2/3 that it left me feeling completely dry. The pacing was super rushed, the characters all felt horribly flat, and the races weren’t super exciting because rather than any strategy or strong emotional realization, Special Week just has to start running even faster and faster in the final leg. It was also kind of implied she had gained weight? But then never brought up? And it’s not made very clear why she lost in the end? Was she supposed to learn humility and not getting too complacent? Seems too early for her to learn that when she’s supposed to be an underdog. I don’t know, it didn’t really work for me and I don’t feel like I care to watch more of it.

Because this post is long af and has a lot of gifs some folks were having trouble loading it on mobile, so you’ll have to read under the cut to know which are the shows I’m actually watching oops

Chopping Block: 

There is too much anime and I’m near the end of the semester so I’m gonna have to cut at least one -preferably two- of these shows

Sword Art Online Alternative: This was another one I intended to hatewatch? But rather than offensive or idiotic it’s so far been pretty boring. Episode one was a slog. The first half of episode two was a horrendous spectacle of hating your own body. The only think I liked was the friendship between LLENN and Pito (btw Pito meand ‘dick’ in Spanish and every time she says “call me Pito” I die). Then episode 3 was more boring exposition. FPS games are the least interesting I could think of, and I’ve never been into Let’s Play, so this show is hitting all the right notes to make me bored out of my mind. I also don’t appreciate the big dude not telling Llenn the plan and just kind of being condescending to her. If next episode is just 20 more minutes of the dude explaining things to Llenn, I’m out. (Also, Pito is 100% Elsa Kanzaki)

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Not feeling this reboot at all. It’s all very dry and just dudes expositioning strategy at each other. Also there are 30 characters in the Ending and only 2 of them are women???? I’ll give it one more episode, but tbh I’ve had problems even paying attention to 2 and 3, it just doesn’t grab me.

Libra of Nil Admirari: Although I like the heroine and she might be one of the strongest reverse harem heroines I’ve seen, the plot itself is very... eh. The guys are also very uninteresting so far. There’s also the fact that Tsumugi claims to have no interest in men or love, but this being a reverse harem with a bevy of men starved for her attention makes me worry this’ll end with her being “fixed” by an actual nice guy who is worthy of her or something. But the OP is very cute!

Hatewatch

Darling in the Franxx: Boy oh boy, the otaku have been creaming their pants and tearing their clothes off for the last three weeks, but “Don’t call it Fucking, It’s Making Love” in the Franxx’s greatest achievement in my eyes is going for idiotically offensive to just bland and clichéd. A recent AMA on reddit with the producer seems to imply that none of the themes of sex, gender and heterosexism that have been at the core of the show were even properly thought out, nor were their implications even remotely considered. I don’t know if the show’s heterosexism would be worse if it was active propaganda rather than what it seems to be: a bunch of ideas the producers thought would be “cool” and “titillating” with no particular meaning to them. Also we’re 15 episodes in and all we’ve achieved is Palurdo has finally tamed his beast waifu who is Not Like Other Girls. Oh, and I guess the monsters actually had humans in there, what a shocker, never seen that before, never expected such a clever twizzzzzzzz....

Mid Priority

Tokyo Ghoul: Re : I thought I was done with Tokyo Ghoul after trying to read the manga and being bored shitless by all the unnecessary exposition, but this one, while not quite excellent, managed to pique my interest. The conceit of Kaneki losing his memories and joining the Doves and helping in exterminating ghouls I’m super not interested in, but his encounter with Nishio has made me curious enough about what has happened with the rest of the characters to keep watching for now.

Rokuhodou Biyori: The iyashikei show of the season I guess. The guys’ personalities are a little bland, so I might bump it down to the chopping block, but it’s only been two episodes, so I want to give it a fair chance

Persona 5: My history with Persona has never been good. Episode 1 of P4 made me sleep, and I watched the first P3 movie THREE TIMES and never managed to parse wtf it was about. This show shares some of the same problems in making me struggle to pay attention, but at least so far the plot seems interesting, the visuals are creative and striking, and I really like the main character’s design. I’m also more inclined to keep watching because Sayokan directed the OP for the videogame.

Hisone to Masotan: There’s a cynical part of me that watches this show and feels like I’m watching a commercial for the JSDF. Yvan eht nioJ, come join us, we have cool dragons!!! I also don’t love the fact that the dragon turns into a plane :/ BUT the characters have a lot of heart, the dynamics so far between Hisone and Masotan and Hisone and Kanzaki have been very touching. A part of me though, wishes Hisone had stuck with Otofu because it’s such a cute name and she sounded really funny yelling “OTOFU!!!”

Safe Sequels

Although some of these sequels would go in higher categories, I was unsure about how to rank them -especially the 2-cour ones- compared to some of my top premieres of the season, so I’m just putting them all together because there are A LOT of sequels.

Yowapeda Glory Line: FINALLY SOMETHING POSITIVE HAPPENED FOR SOHOKU. I was starting to feel exhausted with all the gloominess, especially for seeing Teshima punished, HE DESERVES EVERY GOOD THING. Now we can get back on track and hopefully have a fun race without Teshima brooding all the way through the episode. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT TESHIAO CONTENT

Nanatsu no Taizai: FINALLY ESCANOR SHOWED UP. It’s felt like the first half of the show dragged a lot compared to the manga, so I’m happy we’ve reached one of the coolest parts. Though if memory serves, the rest of the season will be spent floundering around, but damn, the Escanor vs Galand battle is very satisfying to watch.

Lupin III Part V: So this time around they’ve added the social media factor into Lupin’s adventures, and so far the result has been quite interesting. I don’t have a lot to say, the artstyle looks closer to classic versions of the franchise and has lost some of the edge from part IV, but the comedy and Lupin’s plans are still creative and fun to watch, even adding a unique spin to the social media component, so I’m excited to see where they take this. But we need more Fujiko yesterday pls

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss: A soft reboot of this magical girl parody franchise, with frillier costumes and even more ridiculous attacks and transformations, and I’m here for it. I do wish we’d get at least some cameos from the original gang. I also feel that so far, apart from the Red guy (Kyotaro?) the others don’t seem to have much of a distinctive personality. It’s only episode three, so hopefully that’s something we’ll see developed as the show goes on.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s the same as it’s always been, a brilliantly dry workplace comedy. If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, you’re missing out on one of the best comedies of this decade.

Boku no Hero Academia 3: After the recap first episode, the series has gone back full gear ahead into the next story arc and so far it looks pretty cool. Although I’m never a fan of “regular MC activity gets interrupted by villains”. Idk why it bothers me a lot -a prime example being the S Class exam getting cut short in Fairy Tail and the concept of S Class mages completely ditched thereon after. But anyway, I have faith in the writing that they’ll make this villain interruption cool and worth it. I do however wish they’d let us meet the Class B guys better.

Steins;Gate 0: You know, I was 100% ready to be disappointed and abandon this one right away, but damn, damn have these first two episodes been brilliant. The nuances in Okabe’s characterization, the portrayal of his grief, and his more mature attitude seem like a mirror of the watcher who has grown all the same in the seven years since the show’s original season. I’m hoping the teases about Maho as a potential love interest are a red herring, but other than that, I’m blown away by how good it has been so far. Just delete Daru please.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card: Things have started happening! We’re starting to see that Akiho’s mysterious book is somehow having an effect over the events of Sakura’s life. The episode with the animals was particularly strong, with a new card that had a nice renovated design, and a really emotionally effective scene of Sakura and Syaoran embracing to help Sakura regain confidence to save her friends. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series so far, so hopefully we’ll have more of those and less of the “finding a card that only minimally makes 10 cm from a bookshelf disappear” type. As a sidenote, I find Akiho’s obsession with Sakura’s play a bit offputting.

High Priority

Mahou Shojo Ore: Given how little I knew about this series going in and how excited I was about it in spite of it, I’m pleased to report the show has lived up to my expectations in one way or another. The weird comedy is on point and also everyone is fucking gay. I’m rooting for you Blue Girl! Easily the superior show with Mahou Shoujo in its title.

Hinamatsuri: You know, I didn’t have super high expectations for this one, but it’s turned out to be a very nice surprise. It has that charming paternal relationship between Nitta and Hina that is cute and hilarious. I have to say I’m not super into the classmate-forced-to-become-a-bartender storyline and I’m not sure how that even fits with the rest of the show, so I hope there won’t be a lot of vignettes about it.

Piano no Mori: Wonky CGI and occassionally questionable character design choices (Ajino was so BEAUTIFUL in his youth, why does he look so ridiculous in the present?!!!) aside, this has been one of the strongest premieres of the season. I know fans of the manga have criticized it, but as someone unfamiliar with the original, I’m definitely intrigued by this story.

BESTEST

Megalobox: This one wasn’t on my radar at all. It’s one of those numerous cases of me seeing a title that sounds stupid and deciding to ignore the show based on that alone. I’m glad I stumbled on all the praise the premiere episode received because damn is it good. The story behind the cameras is that this is a 50th anniversary project for Ashita no Joe, and it was meant to be a reboot, but the director couldn’t find a way to make it work, so he created something entirely new, and aren’t we glad about that. It has a unique retro look and although the plot beats do call back to Ashita no Joe, our Joe feels like his own person alright. I think my only nitpick is that I’m not entirely sure of what is even the point of the additional gear. Also, I know how Ashita no Joe ends and I hope this show won’t end like that too :’D

Golden Kamuy: How long has it been since the last time a multi-awarded manga not only wasn’t disappointing but ended up being one of the most promising anime adaptations of the season? Yes, everyone’s seen the ugly CGI bear, moving on, this is a captivating and unique historical show with a so far excellent portrayal of Ainu culture and a kickass lady coprotagonist.  I am really excited to see where this one will go. Also, it was really exciting to hear characters actually speaking ainu language. I’ve done some research on Ainu history (and kickass Ainu women) for school, so I’m very pumped about this one.

Otaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: By far my favorite premiere of the season. So far, two episodes in, it’s all I ever hoped it would be and more. The characters are charming, Narumi and Hirotaka’s relationship feels natural and effortless -both the romantic aspect of it, and the way they easily become comfortable with one another-. Narumi is delightful and very well-rounded, being as cheerful and optimistic as she can be cynical, and her quick-developing friendship with Hanako is so violently relatable I was screaming. I really love this show. ALSO THE OP IS SUPER CUTE

I FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME

[justjensenanddean]

When I worked on Dark Angel I created a character, one of Max's missing siblings, who as a child was the mythmaker of the group. He kept them from losing faith in themselves by telling stories in the darkness of the dormitory, stories with heroes and spirits and demons, and now that Max is all grown up and the group is scattered and in hiding, she finds that people are being murdered according to the mythological details of those childhood stories. Her beloved storyteller has grown into a serial killer. This was a tough role to cast. You needed someone you could believe was a genetically engineered human; who could, when necessary, radiate both intelligence and menace; who could be scary one minute, and who could give you a lump in the throat the next from his sheer vulnerability when he admits to Max that he's broken and begs her to kill him. I sat in casting as actor after actor came in. It was one of those evenings when you listen to the words of the script and wonder how they can sound this horrifyingly bad -- dear god, am I truly that wretched a writer? Then Mr. Ackles walked in. The first scene involved his character sitting handcuffed as he tries to convince Max to let him go. It was tonally challenging, because although he's cuffed, you have to have the impression he's extremely dangerous -- that in fact just listening to him is dangerous because he'll screw with you psychologically. "Mind if I sit on the floor?" he asked calmly, in the voice of one who's worked it all out ahead of time. He put his arms behind his back, did that scene, and wow. Young Hannibal Lecter, hello! Then he did the death scene, made my eyes tear up, walked calmly out, and we looked at each other. This was exactly the character I'd envisioned. It was clear to me that if anybody else got this role, I would have to commit ritual suicide. Fortunately everyone else wanted him -- except one highly placed producer. Now, although Hollywood as an entity has issues with women, my personal experience on writing staffs has been almost uniformly positive. This producer happened to be an extremely rare exception -- and it's not that he was in any way meanspirited; he was a perfectly nice guy, kind and gentle, but sometimes your head snapped back just listening to him. He was upset by the fact that the people in casting that night had been mostly women; that we all liked Jensen Ackles; and that he was a good-looking actor. Because, clearly, that must be what was influencing us. "Something very disturbing was going on in that room," he insisted. Leaving his opinion of our emotionality aside, I asked what his issues were with Ackles -- hadn't that been a terrific reading? He admitted the reading was fine, but -- "He doesn't have muscles." "What?" "He doesn't have muscles, he doesn't look like a soldier. If he was genetically designed to be a soldier, wouldn't they make him strong?" My head spun for a moment. I said, "Our heroine is Jessica Alba." And yes, she'd worked out pretty hard for this role, but she was still a slender-looking, gorgeous young woman, who was usually shorter and much lighter than the men we regularly showed her throwing around with such abandon. I said, "Clearly whatever genetic manipulation was going on involves strength that's not determined by the sheer volume of the muscle." I'd reached this conclusion the moment I saw the pilot, and thought it was unarguable, given what we'd been portraying on screen for the past season. But he had a reply to that: "She's a girl," he said -- clearly bewildered that I would even bring this up. Sigh. But the angels smiled for a moment, Jensen Ackles got the role, and though my script was rewritten it did still retain a certain amount of what I'd been going for. The direction was tight, the acting full-throttle, and the episode was so well-received that the series was sold for a second year on the idea of "more like this!" I, however, had moved on to Smallville the following year. There, we discussed casting for one of the early guest roles. "Jensen Ackles!" I said. The executive producers went away, returned, and I was told with compassion, "I'm sorry, Doris. He's just been booked for the year." "Really? Where?" "Dark Angel." Yes. The producer who'd been so opposed to him? After seeing his work in that episode, he hired Jensen as a regular. And apparently he also made him bulk up -- because boys need muscle. I said, "But we killed him!" "He's back as a clone." Damn you, science fiction, and your wicked genre ways! Someday, Jensen Ackles, I muttered. Time passed and I found myself on the second season of Tru Calling. We had a character, a medical student, whom we first meet as a sort of golden boy -- a nice guy, funny, the sort who tries to do the right thing. Brilliant, but with some self-esteem issues that have kept him from his full potential. Tru and he become friends, and as time passes, they start to become more deeply involved. Then, partway through the season, he dies; and Tru, who's had enough of death, resolves to stay awake until someone somewhere asks for help and her day rewinds -- thereby allowing her to save Jensen as well. (Yes, shockingly, he ended up with the name Jensen. I think it was my sheer repetition doing subconscious work.) I'm going to quote here from an earlier post: ============== But Jensen's soul is already committed -- it can't return, but his body, memories, and the habits of his personality continue after the time he "died." The idea was that over the course of the arc we would gradually see anomalies of character develop -- unsettling moments, as the imprint of Jensen's personality disintegrates, at the same time it becomes fascinated with death, in an almost wistful way. This would be pretty damned creepy, coming as it does alongside Tru's growing physical intimacy with him. Jane Espenson wrote a beautifully disturbing scene that I'm sorry you'll never get a chance to see -- on one level, it's just Tru and Jensen talking on the sofa during a movie, and on another level, oooooh. As the arc plays out, we hear the jarring comments he'll occasionally make, the way the things that used to mean something to him -- like his need for his father's respect -- are just no longer vulnerabilities. We see scenes that suggest a growing involvement with violence, in an unsettling but ambiguous way, so Tru can't be sure it's there or not. Till one morning Tru wakes in bed with Jensen and goes about her day, which rewinds over the murder of Jensen's father. Just before the rewind she learns that not only did Jensen do it, he's been behind a string of recent killings (born of his fascination with learning about the thing he's apparently been barred from -- i.e., death). She rewinds -- and wakes up in bed next to him, knowing now that he's a monster. And that she created him. This was once a young man who won her with his generosity and understanding, his good humor and sweetness. He's still bright, he's still clever, there's no evidence against him. And he'll be creating a lot more victims, starting on this rewind day with his father -- unless she takes the responsibility for putting an end to him. So she finally turns to the person with experience in ending people's lives: Jack. =============== Now, obviously this was going to be the kind of role where you can't count on a pretty face to pull you through. (And sometimes there's pressure to go with a pretty face, even when the necessary screen power is not behind it. This doesn't make sense, because it means the audience will never spark to that role the way they should, but sometimes executives think the fact they can promote the show using a particular actor's name makes up for that. The unfortunate truth that you can get people to watch once, just long enough to drive them away permanently if the goods aren't there, doesn't always sway the decisionmakers.) We needed someone who could say long words as though they know what those words mean -- and I'm not being sarcastic here; that's harder than you think. But someone who could also be funny. And sweet. And boy-next-door. Oh, and also turn on a dime and scare the beejeezus out of you. "Jensen Ackles!" I said, pretty much every time the subject of casting came up. But the process ground on a bit slower than we anticipated, and one day I was informed -- again, with compassion -- "We're too late; he's booked elsewhere." I asked where. "Smallville," they said.Smallville? Those bastards, how dare they listen to me? Who told them to respect my opinion? This was clearly my fate -- to make so much noise about Jensen Ackles at any show I'm on that they'll grab him first chance they get, which will inevitably be when I'm at my next show trying to get him. One of the writers, hearing this news, turned to me and asked, "Are you solely responsible for this guy's career?" The answer to that would be no. Clearly he doesn't need my help, but you have to admit that the aura of Ackles doom I bring to each production is amusing, at least. At the time I said to myself, sour-grapes fashion, "Well, I hope that Smallville role is as interesting and layered as this one will be," and went on with life. As it turned out, we were fortunate at Tru. Eric Christian Olsen took on the role, and it was clear from the very first look at his reel that we were in safe hands. (In fact, when I first saw his work I had that sense of awe I always feel in the presence of good acting, because it is so very much something I cannot do. Really, I have no idea what button actors push to suddenly convey, "This is real," but I know it when I see it, the way Robert Graves says you know a true poem when you hear one. Recently I was talking with a medical consultant and mentioned that I'd just come out of a read-through of a script. "It's always cool to hear the script at a read-through," I said. "Why?" he asked. I was surprised at the question. "Because they do that magic actor thing," I said. Why else?) In any case, I'm sorry you never got to see the character's turnaround, because I have no doubt he would have been compelling. And as it turns out, since the show was cancelled mid-season, maybe Smallville was the better bet after all. And now I'm at House, and surrounded by such talent that it would be the height of ungraciousness to do more than note that Mr. Ackles has a show of his own this coming season. And while it's not mine, I'm forced to admit that that might not stop it from being, well... good.

[ Doris Egan, Posted on 2005.08.18 ]

[lancecarr]

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch review ֠The choice is a lie

[The following contains SPOILERS for Black Mirror: Bandersnatch]

About two decades ago, a much younger version of me saw an ad in the newspaper for a movie called Mr. Payback. The ad bragged that it was the first interactive movie ever devised. I asked my older cousin to take me to see it and shortly thereafter, we went to a Showcase Cinemas to check it out.

The plot of Mr. Payback (such as it was) centered around a cyborg named Mr. Payback who would use his special powers to get back at people for their sins. Every seat in the theater was outfitted with a controller and at key moments in the film, a set of three choices was presented to viewers. Whichever choice received more votes would be the one that the character on screen made, so button mashing was a must in order to get the outcome you were interested in.

At the time, I was dazzled by the technology, even though each “playthrough” of the film only lasted 20 minutes (and for a full price ticket, no less). I didn’t necessarily think that this would be the future of cinema (I wasn’t thinking in those terms back then), but I really appreciated the novelty of seeing movies and videogames collide in a big way.

Of course, with the benefit of hindsight, it’s clear that Mr. Payback was a terrible film with awful characters. The acting and writing were subpar and meanspirited (despite Back to the Future screenwriter Bob Gale being involved in the film’s creation). Its method of storytelling never caught on for a variety of reasons, but one truth remained clear: It’s hard enough to do a good job of telling a single narrative with only one ending.

In the intervening years, interactive storytelling has thrived, but mostly not in movie theaters. PC games with FMV (full-motion video) on CD Rom and the Sega CD gave way to incredibly ambitious stories like Red Dead Redemption 2, Mass Effect, and the games of David Cage. The most successful of these limited the total number of potential outcomes. Sure, there might be minor differences in dialogue, or in which characters survived, but most great games stuck with only a few endings (As a recent example, see the hugely successful Red Dead Redemption 2, where your “honor” level dictates how some of the later sequences play out, but limits the outcome to 3-4 distinct endings with minor variations).

There’s a limit to how satisfying an ending can be if you can get to it by dumb luck. The laws of physics (and production schedules) dictate that the more endings there are, the less time and energy can be invested in each one.

Which brings us to this week. Netflix released the latest entry in the Black Mirror franchise, an interactive film called Bandersnatch. The story is about a game developer played by Fionn Whitehead who desperately struggles to ship a game he’s working on, Bandersnatch, before a holiday deadline. Admittedly, the tech behind how Netflix made and executed this is impressive (although bafflingly, newer devices like Apple TV and Netflix are unable to “play” Bandersnatch). But is the story any good?

Mirroring its branching structure, Bandersnatch is hugely ambitious, with threads splintering off the main storyline and increasingly widening its scope. Depending on which choices you make, there are philosophical ruminations about the nature of choice and free will, a stark depiction of burnout in the video game production process, a direct connection drawn between mental illness and creativity, and a protagonist who struggles with daddy issues and (dead) mommy issues. It’s all very Black Mirror-esque, but without any of the focus that make the commentary and satire land effectively in a regular episode of the show.

I found the experience of watching/playing Bandersnatch to be enormously frustrating. The film frequently presents you with two options without any sense of what outcome you’re even supposed to be interested in and which choice might lead you there. Am I supposed to want to drive the protagonist to the point of insanity, or am I supposed to want him to take a more healthy path? Should I nurture his relationship with his father or should I stoke the flames of familial discontent?

All of this would be fine if the endings were comparably interesting. However, not only do some choices lead to the film abruptly ending in an unsatisfying fashion, but Bandersnatch’s creators have already stated that there are certain endings that are “definitive,” with conventional credits to accompany them. By implication, many decisions lead you to “dead ends.” One of the endings even comments on how unsatisfying the outcome is (Note to filmmakers: Commenting on how bad an ending/joke/line of dialogue is doesn’t make it better). Thus, watching Bandersnatch is equivalent to being placed in a maze without an inkling of where the exit is, or if the exit is even a desirable destination.

I can already hear some readers responding, saying, “Why are you complaining? That’s the whole point!” Indeed, one of the main themes of Bandersnatch is the idea of free will. We believe we are driving the decisions of the protagonist but, in fact, it’s the filmmaker that dictates the outcome. We can decline to get high, but our drink will be drugged. We can try to avoid talking about the memories of our mother, only to be forced into it later. The filmmakers want us to consider the possibility that free will is an illusion, and that the forces driving us may not be ones that we know, understand, or can control.

If indeed this is one of the purposes of Bandersnatch, then I can say that it makes its point, but not in a way that I found to be particularly entertaining or enjoyable. “I’m going to make this decisionmaking process enormously frustrating and constraining for you, so that you may understand the pointlessness of all your actual real-life decisions!” is not a pitch that excites me for something to consume. In fact, it’s actively off-putting (Side bar: For an example of this type of commentary done well, see The Stanley Parable).

That said, Bandersnatch is not without merit. Previous Black Mirror director David Slade does a great job nailing the period look and surreal feel of the story, and Whitehead’s performance is a chilling depiction of a descent into madness. Bandersnatch also wants the viewer to consider the concept of technological enslavement. If there’s one theme to take away from the previous season of Black Mirror, it’s that we should consider if/when the technology we use might ever “suffer” in a way that we might understand that term.

In one of the more effective and mind-bending storylines, the viewer is able to inform the protagonist that they are controlling him via Netflix, and attempt to explain what all that means to a character who only has knowledge of 1980s technology. It’s a great meta moment that makes you as the viewer reconsider your relationship to the entertainment you consume. After all, everything you watch is ostensibly there to serve your viewing needs.

My first playthrough of Bandersnatch was only 30-40 minutes long, as I quickly made a choice that led to the Bandersnatch game being released in a poor state. Conveniently, the game allows you to rewind to previous decisions and, in an interesting twist, previous playthroughs can often impact the outcome and nature of future ones. I ended up spending around 1.5-2 hours with Bandersnatch before I realized that I had seen most of what it had to offer, and exploring further would necessitate wasting time re-watching a lot of content I’d already seen. The stories and their outcomes just weren’t interesting enough for me to further engage.

Bandersnatch is a mile wide and an inch deep. How you choose to get to the bottom of it is pretty much immaterial.

Disclosure: I currently work for Amazon Prime Video. The opinions expressed here are solely mine and do not represent those of my organization or company.

The post Black Mirror: Bandersnatch review – The choice is a lie appeared first on The Life and Times of David Chen.

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