#kax brekker

[whineandcheese24]

people who are mad that s&b season 2 didn’t make wesper a slow burn, What Slow Burn? in the books they literally moved in together the day after their first kiss. kanej knew each other for years and they still haven’t “officially” gotten together. and it took helnik weeks of being together with no one else around to even be friends and then another week and an impossible heist to get together after hellgate. the reason wesper feels like a slow burn is because there just aren’t a lot of scenes of the two of them that are wholly dedicated to advancing their relationship like there are with kanej and helnik

[o-kye]

last night i had a dream i was considering the name kaz. how are you guys.

[thejudeduarte]

Kaz and his cane be like:

[jahayla-parker]

Dead: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 5.8k wc, for the prompt of "You're supposed to be dead" originally for this request but I went overboard so I separated Kaz's!

Warnings: passive suicidal thoughts (NO action), mentions of death and injuries, trauma references, drinking, grief, loss, etc. and typical SOC/SAB trigger warnings

Maybe in the end, Kaz was meant to be alone.

It would make sense after all.

He certainly deserved to end up alone.

Yet, he must have done something right along the way.

After all, the universe, one of Inej’s saints, or whatever other force allegedly existed, had granted him y/n.

He never thought he’d be with anyone.

Kaz thought he was too far gone, too broken, too cruel, too numb, etc.

He never thought he'd be able to love someone; not after Jordie.

He thought he'd never let himself experience that sentiment ever again; much less express it.

He never thought he'd be able to become the person he now was.

That is until some unknown force brought the wonderfully undeserved presence that was Y/n into his life.

Despite his most aggressive and resistant behavior towards forming anything with her, he did.

Despite his toxic actions and inactions, she stuck around.

It was as if there was nothing that could tear them apart.

Not even Kaz’s phenomenal self-sabotage skills could make her give up on him.

However, at some point, Kaz allowed himself to become naive, ignorant, and lovesick.

In other words, Kaz Rietveld has taken control over the bastard's heart and mind when it came to her.

So much so that he’d allowed himself to fall into the position in which he was now facing.

A situation he swore he’d never find himself in.

Not again, anyways; not after having been there before due to Jordie.

Yet, here he was.

Alone in his chaotic mess of an office.

Drinking whatever Saint-forsaken thing he could find.

He knew he was cutting deep into the Crow Club's profits.

Kaz Brekker’s voice tauntingly scolded him despite Kaz Rietveld’s mind still being in control of his emotional state.

He desperately wished Dirtyhands would take over his mind and heart entirely.

It wouldn’t hurt then; or at least not as much.

He’d sworn to never let anyone get close enough for this to happen.

And yet, it had; she did.

He let her get close to him; he needed her to.

So, his naive Rietveld mentality had convinced the Kaz Brekker mentality he formed to learn to accept it.

Oh, how he wished he could go back and undo that acceptance.

But did he?

Is that really what he wanted?

To undo accepting her into his life?

Sure, he’d not be experiencing an excruciating sense of loss right now.

But was the lack of an excruciating sense of loss worth her absence in his life?

No.

Neither part of him believed that he'd choose anything over her.

Ironically, it didn’t matter.

He’d have to experience her absence one way or the other.

For now, it wasn’t anything he even had a choice in.

She was gone.

He could’ve saved her.

He should’ve saved her.

But he hadn’t.

And now, the Bastard found himself alone again.

For the first time in a long time.

And nothing, and no one, could cure the aching and longing loneliness he felt.

Not his sharpshooter, Jesper.

Not his Wraith, Inej.

Not his heartrender, Nina.

Not his demolitions expert, Wylan.

Not his Fjerdan, Matthias.

Not the countless bottles of alcohol he’d downed.

Not the overpriced scented candle Kaz gifted Y/n days prior that used to make him grin over how excited she would be to light it.

Not now that it sat on the nightstand, never to be used again.

Not the throwing of papers and plans he'd done upon entering his room.

Not the reminder that he'd experienced something similar before.

For while that was true, having chosen to risk this type of loss all over again made it much worse now.

And nothing, absolutely nothing, could erase the flashbacks in his mind.

They were there even if he didn’t close his eyes.

They were always there.

But she wasn't.

No one could pull him from the ceaseless sense of drowning inside him.

Not even himself.

None of his previously formed coping mechanisms worked.

No one could get him to open up and talk.

No one could get him to accept it.

No one could get him to heal from it.

No one could get him to move on from the immediate aftermath of her death.

Though, they’d tried.

Jesper had offered to show Kaz how to let go and decompress the way he would after a bad heist.

He knew the Bastard wouldn't talk to him about what he was experiencing, so he tried to help through action.

Yet, Kaz refused to follow Jesper around from gambling den to gambling den.

So, Wylan stepped in and tried to play some relaxing music for him.

Wylan knew music could be healing and calming, but despite his best efforts, Kaz remained the same.

Nina was the next to try but when she tried to loosen his muscles, Kaz snapped at her.

It was the one time he truly said much of anything since that night

But, it told them all they had to know.

Kaz Brekker was gone.

They didn't know who, if anyone, would form over time.

But, their boss -and dare to say it, friend- was no longer there.

Inej merely left a note on his desk that she was there to talk if he wished to do so; not wanting to push him when he was already suffering.

Matthias normally couldn't care less for the demjin, but when Kaz shouted for Nina to leave him be and that he didn't want the pain to leave his body, even Matthias felt sorry for him.

The Fjerdan knew immediately what Kaz was meaning.

He too was willing to feel the pain of his losses (his parents and sister) as it acted as some torturous connection to the person they'd lost.

So, he helped Inej make sure the Crow Club kept operating so Kaz would have one less worry whenever he came back to them.

So Kaz once again found himself alone.

It wasn’t truly the being alone that bothered him.

It was the fact he was alone because she was gone that was painful

He could handle being alone.

But he couldn’t handle being without her.

He couldn't stand living in a world in which she didn’t exist.

He’d contemplated removing that possibility.

After all, he'd taken down Pekka Rollins already.

And now that Y/n was gone, he truly had no purpose here anymore.

But he knew it wouldn’t matter.

Even if Inej was right about their being some form of afterlife, he wouldn’t see y/n after his death.

If such a thing existed, she’d have earned a spot in 'Heaven'.

She'd be somewhere Kaz would never be allowed.

Somewhere almost deserving of her presence.

He wasn’t sure where Jordie had ended up, assuming Inej was right.

He wanted to believe his brother would also go to 'Heaven'.

However, due to Kaz's lack of faith, he didn’t know what behaviors amounted to earning a spot in 'Heaven'.

Nor did he know what behaviors would remove someone from such a place.

For all he knew, the Saints could have some tally sheet of behaviors that they kept track of throughout one's life.

Perhaps y/n wouldn’t get to the highest level of afterlife either.

But, if you asked Kaz, he knew she deserved far higher than him; no matter what she may have had to do to survive before they'd met.

Y/n was far better than him.

Far better than he was.

Far better than he is.

Far better than he ever could’ve been.

Far better than he ever would be now.

And far better than he deserved.

So, regardless of what the Saints might demand to get in, he knew that he’d never see her again even if there were an afterlife.

That didn’t stop the thought of attempting to get to wherever she was from occurring day in and day out; despite the constant alcoholic buzz he had.

No amount of paperwork, liquor, Kruge, heists, etc. could distract him enough from missing her.

He felt her absence everywhere.

The same way he’d felt her presence just days before.

The presence he’d never feel again.

It wasn’t that he had forgotten it was possible to lose her.

He just pushed aside the fear of that pain for the -at the time- current comfort of being with her.

The guy who cared only about his own survival found someone he was ready to die for.

Yet, he was denied the chance to show her that.

Instead, he was forced to watch her die while he stood by helplessly.

He always accounted for everything.

But losing her was not something he could have seen coming.

It should’ve been.

He knows that.

But the idea was far too terrifying and painful to even contemplate, much less anticipate or prepare for.

So he hadn’t.

He always took measures to ensure her safety.

Certainly during heists.

Yet, it wasn't enough.

It wasn’t enough to save her.

He wasn’t enough.

He hadn’t been calculated enough.

He hadn't been smart enough.

He hadn’t been focused enough.

When it came down to it, he hadn’t been enough.

And now she was gone.

And the only person he could truly blame was himself.

Of course, by now each of the opposing parties had been dealt with in a very Kaz-like manner.

He hadn't done so with the hopes that it would’ve eased his pain or his guilt.

He knew it wouldn’t.

But he couldn’t let them get away with it either.

She deserved better.

The least he could do was take their lives the way they took hers.

Yet, it did nothing to lower the waves -that normally rose to his chest- that now nearly reached his nose.

Nor did it do the one thing he was truly desperate for.

The bastard of the Barrel was never one to be seen as desperate.

Well, apart from having been desperate for revenge against Pekka; and perhaps Kruge.

But even so, that desperation was kept in check.

However, this was not.

And Kaz didn’t bother to pretend otherwise.

He couldn’t muster the energy to maintain his normally stoic demeanor to the full extent.

To most who didn’t know him, he probably looked like the same careless Barrel boss as before.

But those closest to him, his crows, and even some of the closer dregs saw the drastic change in him that night.

He’d always been troubled and plagued with his past and his losses.

But he now seemed haunted and hallowed by them.

No one knew what to do and they’d all been grieving in their own rights so no one found a way to truly comfort him.

Not that any attempt would be successful; as Kaz did not see himself coming back from this one.

Y/n had helped him with the trauma surrounding his brother Jordie.

But no one would be capable of helping him with the trauma of losing her.

He knew she had more power and impact on him than he’d ever care to admit.

But by the time he knew this, he was too far gone to effectively resist.

Losing her was like not only losing a part of himself but himself altogether.

He lost the drive that Kaz Brekker had.

His immediate anger and heartbreak had alleviated the people who played a role in her passing.

He now had no one to hunt, scheme against, nor harm.

No one to blame.

No one but himself.

And yet, even he knew that no one could have seen this coming.

Not even Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker.

Yet, he was the only option he had as a source to assign blame to.

Nonetheless, he lost the confidence and passion that the Barrell boss once had.

He lost the small spark of light that y/n instilled in him.

The light that made him believe even Kaz Brekker deserved a happy ending.

Now he was resigned to the fact he was clearly meant to end up alone.

If only he’d stuck with that belief, perhaps she would still be here.

He lost the happiness he’d worked so hard to accept from her.

She had been his one true source of happiness.

The crows and successful heists brought similar emotions.

But, only through y/n was he able to truly appreciate all of it.

He also lost what remained of poor, pathetic, little, Kaz Rietveld.

Any innocence that may have lingered deep down inside of him after Jordie’s death was now undoubtedly erased after y/n’s.

Any kindness or compassion he felt towards others felt ripped away from him as he fell into a numb state of being.

He hadn’t accounted for what his life would be like if she’d passed.

If anyone had asked prior to that night, he’d have told them he would be fine.

Of course he would, he’d have said, after all he’d experienced loss before.

And it drove him.

But even with Jordie, he didn’t truly survive.

A new version of him did, but he wasn’t the same.

Not until y/n had managed to resurrect what remained of the original version of himself.

Now both versions were destroyed and he didn’t know where that left him.

Other than in his office, endlessly drinking liquor as if it were a life source, and feeling sorry for himself.

Oh, if only Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker could see himself right now.

------

Kaz had drunk himself into such a stupor that he didn't hear the knock on his door.

It was now several nights after the incident and he hadn’t emerged from his chambers in well over 48 hours now.

So, unbeknownst to him, their home had an unexpected presence.

After much debate, the crows had agreed to step back and allow Kaz to contact the presence first.

Hence why Wylan's knocking increased in tempo; as if trying to show the urgency behind it.

Yet, the sound merely reverberated off the walls of Kaz's room without him noticing.

From the other side of the door, Jesper huffed loudly.

He signaled for the others to move back; ready to take whatever drastic measures it took to alert his best friend to the news he knew Kaz needed.

Nina gently placed her hands on her friends' shoulders and guided them away from the doorway.

Jesper smirked at the girls beside him before he aggressively kicked the wooden door, his smirk growing as the wood splintered and the door swung open.

“Kaz” Jesper said firmly as the crows all squinted in order to adjust to the dim lighting of his room.

Kaz either didn’t hear Jesper or chose to ignore him.

Instead of responding, he merely sipped on the amber liquid in his glass.

“We should leave you to it” Inej suggested, giving her friend a smile and shoulder squeeze before having to all but drag the others away.

Kaz’s eyes never changed from the distant look they had seemingly taken on before they'd entered.

He hadn’t moved one millimeter other than to take another sip of his drink.

Anyone could see the state of distress the Bastard had been in by just seeing the state of his room.

There was broken glass and other debris around the room, empty liquor bottles piled up in an overflowing garbage bin, an unusual lack of papers/plans on his desk, etc.

The phsyical state of his room along with the completely dissociated gaze his eyes held broke y/n’s heart as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.

She wasn’t sure what she expected after that night.

She knew he likely thought she was dead.

After all, she thought she was going to be.

She should’ve been.

She knew Kaz loved her, in his own way.

So she expected some kind of reaction to her apparent death.

But, she hadn’t expected this.

She hadn’t wanted this.

Shed made her way back to their home as quickly and safely as she reasonably could.

It had taken over a day to do so, but she didn’t want Kaz’s crew or their fellow Crows to spot her.

She knew they’d immediately tell Kaz and given that he’d seen her fall after being shot, she knew he’d lash out at the reporting party for spreading gossip.

She hoped she could make it to him undetected but quickly enough to prevent him from much grief.

But even though it hadn’t taken her much more than a day to reach him, he seemed to have already spiraled.

She took a deep breath and slowly walked closer to his desk.

Y/n hated how his eyes never left his glass despite her movements.

He was never this unobservant.

Or perhaps he no longer cared nor had the energy to bother with his surroundings.

Either way, she hated this.

Y/n cautiously set a hand over the far side of the rim on his glass as she tried to block him from taking another slug of the beverage.

She watched as his body reacted slowly.

While it took much longer than normal, his reaction was enough to show Kaz had been able to sense a change, which was more than she’d gotten so far.

Kaz’s glazed eyes dragged upwards from his glass to her face in a painstakingly glacial pace.

When they finally landed on her, he froze for a moment, his eyes now appearing needy and hungry.

Once his eyes seemed to take in her presence, they shut tightly as his body shook.

Y/n swallowed thickly as uncharacteristic tears pushed their way through Kaz’s closed eyes and down his face.

“Kaz” y/n whispered.

She wanted so badly to kneel by his desk as to be closer to him, but her wounded leg wouldn’t let her.

She watched as he slammed his glass down, the liquid splashing out the rim onto his desk.

He drug his hand down his face and gripped the edge of the desk “fuck”.

Y/n saw he was wearing his gloves despite being alone in his room and her heart somehow hurt even more.

He hadn’t done that in years.

Yet, here he was, unable to handle the feeling of even his own skin.

“Kaz, please talk to me” she tried again, desperately wanting to help him.

She watched as a sob shook his body and barely squeaked past his lips.

The sound made her own tears fall faster.

“Love, I want to help-“ y/n whispered after giving themselves a moment to regain their composure.

“You’re not real! Just fucking stop” Kaz shouted, both of his hands flying to his face.

One of his hands began pulling at his hair until it hurt, the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

He felt insane.

He knew he’d been drinking far too much.

Perhaps this illusion before him was somehow his consequence.

Y/n watched him closely, unsure how to reach him.

They’d worked on his touch aversion before but now hardly seemed like the time to push it.

“Kaz, I am real” she spoke tenderly, watching his body language for any signs of him listening to her.

He only shook his head and stifled another sob.

Y/n sniffled and audibly took a deep breath, “I know… and I’m sorry, I came as fast as I could-”.

“It… it isn’t… it is not possible” Kaz repeated to himself.

“Look at me, please. Kaz I need to see your eyes” y/n begged.

It would usually work as Kaz knew how comforting it was to look into her eyes so he’d always returned the favor when prompted.

However, y/n watched his fingers grip together tightly as he resisted looking up at her.

“Look I tried to… I know I was bleeding…-“ she began trying to explain but was uncertain how to do so.

“Hey, see my leg? That’s from the fall, but I’m not dead” y/n attempted, pointing down at her excessively bandaged leg.

Kaz shook his head defiantly, not glancing up from the desk.

There was no way she didn’t die, he’d seen her fall.

He’d never have left her if he didn’t know she was dead

Even when he knew, Mathias had to shove and push him back to the club as his body froze at the sight.

All of his survival instants evaporated when he watched her fall to her death.

He threw up the contents of his stomach once he’d made it back and realized Matthias had been touching him the whole time.

So, he knew this illusion before him had to be wrong.

But he couldn’t figure out why his mind would do this to him.

Because, despite the illusion of her presence in this moment, Kaz had the image of her death burned in his mind.

The image had played in his mind on endless loop for hours, hence the never ending flow of alcohol.

Seeing his once again distant stare, y/n sighed, “Kaz I’m alive… it’s me, I promise. I’m okay, I’m not dead”.

Kaz’s brain replayed the torturous flashback upon hearing her words.

His eyes stared blankly ahead at the wall as his mind once again recalled the night he’d lost her.

The heist had gone wrong, the crows were detected far earlier than planned due to the sudden rainfall.

The intense rainfall diminished the fog Wylan’s explosives were supposed to offer, prompting the guards of the house they were fleeing to spot them much faster than anticipated.

This meant everyone was rushing back to the Crow Club and not as attentive to their surroundings.

Well, everyone but Kaz.

Kaz, of course, stayed as attentive as always.

He saw the way the water was gathering in the sight depressed areas of the old roofs.

He warned y/n and Inej to be cautious and aware of them.

But they still had to hurry nonetheless in order to not be caught.

Kaz was a few feet behind on the ground when it happened.

He watched in horror as a bullet pierced her left shoulder, making her dodge to the right in response.

But as she did, she lost her footing when she stepped into the small puddle of water that had formed in a small bowl shape indentation on the roof.

Kaz watched as her ankle buckled and she fell to her side, her upper body hanging over the edge.

Kaz had unconsciously begun to painfully climb the stairs on the side of the building.

Despite the pain in his legs he needed to reach her before the situation worsened.

So he pressed on, reaching the top rather quickly.

But as he pushed himself onto the roof, he could only watch as the guard shoved her lower body off the slanted roof.

It took only seconds for Kaz to disarm the guard and turn him into a bloody withering mess.

As the man slid off the roof, Kaz neared the edge only to see the exact thing he feared he’d see.

Her limp body was laid there, eyes open but blank, blood puddled around her shoulder and head.

He pressed his cane into the roof more to stabilize himself as the rain continued to gush down on him.

He stared at her, waiting for her chest to begin rising and falling again.

It had to.

She had to be okay.

He wasn’t able to think clearly enough to even question it when something suddenly shoved him away from the scene.

His eyes may have physically left the scene at that moment, but the image of her limp frame was already burned into his retinas.

And that image was all he saw until he’d arrived back at the club.

And that image was what continued to haunt him now.

Kaz slowly came back to the present moment, his body trembling and lip bleeding from biting it so aggressively.

He looked up at the illusion of her and glared, “I don’t know what alleged Saint I’ve wronged, but what kind of Saint does this to someone?!”

With a sorrowful look in her eyes, she shook her head, “Kaz, there’s no Saint involved. It’s me, it’s y/n”.

Seeing the anger and disbelief still in his eyes, she closed the distance and smiled softly.

She set her hand palm upwards on his desk, as an invite for him to touch her and see that she was real; if he were able to.

It took several silent minutes of him staring at her hand before he moved.

But, when he did, he reluctantly removed one glove and placed his fingertips against her palm.

His chair squeaked against the floor as he jumped at the feeling of her hand against his fingers.

The feeling he knew and cherished.

As his eyes became glassier, Kaz adjusted so he could firmly place his fingers over her wrist in search of her pulse.

When he acknowledged there was in fact a pulse, his grip on her wrist tightened some.

“B-but-..” He cleared his throat, eyes fierce as they looked up at her in frustration, “You’re supposed to be dead!”

“I’m not though, Kaz” she assured him with a delicate smile.

When he removed his hand from hers to out his glove back on, she waited for him to speak.

However when he didn’t soften his intense glare, she spoke again.

“If you prefer that though..” She teases hoping to break the tension, “I can just-“

“Don’t” Kaz’s raspy voice demanded as he abruptly stood.

He let his eyes scan her whole body slowly.

Both in search of injuries or signs of her fall, and in searches of all the tiny details only he knew.

Like the way she had a faint scar on her elbow from a fight she’d won the night Kaz met her.

Or the details he memorized in the way that she would stand when nervous.

Once he’d had adequate time to take in her appearance, she softly assured him, “I’m here Kaz. It’s me”.

“I thought…” his voice broke and he cleared his throat as to not sound weak when speaking again.

“I lost you” He stated, eyes furrowed as he looked at her.

“Kaz you didn’t-“ she sighed sympathetically as she scanned the pain in his features.

“Yes I did” He corrected, sitting down when his legs shook.

“Losing you was a nightmare that I begged every day to awake from." He admitted, resting his sweaty forehead in his gloved palms as he propped himself up with the support of his desk.

She drug over a chair, her chair that was across the room when she’d arrived.

Sitting beside him without touching him, she spoke softly, “you’ve awakened from it now Kaz. I’m so sorry it to me so long to-“.

“How?” He cut in, eyes dazed as he looked at her.

“How?” She asked, uncertain which topic he was referencing.

“How did you survive? You- he cleared his throat you stopped breathing and the … blood..” he whispered, his gravely voice thicker than normal.

She nodded, “Nina’s friend, Lieke, from the little palace? Well, she happened to be nearby”.

“She’s a heartrenderer?” Kaz asked, racking his brain to see if he already knew this.

Y/n nodded again, “I’d never met her, but Lieke said she owed Nina a favor”.

Kaz was silent as his mind tried to play through it to make sure this wasn’t some twisted scheme.

Y/n knew from the look on his face what he was doing

So, she continued her weak attempt at explaining the situation she barely came to terms with herself.

“I guess she recognized me and us all, thanks to Nina’s stories and your reputation, so when she saw me … fall…” she whispered.

“She waited until it was safe and then she took me in and patched me up. She said I wasn’t awake for a few days… So,.. so I had a late start getting here. I’m sorry-” y/n frowned.

“Don’t” Kaz barked harshly, closing his eyes in guilt at his outburst.

After a moment of tense silence, he took a shaky breath and continued.

“Do not apologize for that” Kaz demanded, “I don’t care how long it took”.

She gave him a thankful timid smile as he glanced up at her.

“I shouldn’t have left you” he said, his voice laced with guilt.

“Kaz, you thought-” she argued, her voice far more sympathetic than Kaz felt he deserved.

“I know what I thought” he snapped, his eyes glazing over again.

“There is no greater terror than watching something you love fall right in front of your eyes” Kaz remarked, staring straight ahead.

“L-love?” Y/n asked, a small gasp escaping her lips.

He nodded once firmly, moving so his eyes were now staring into hers.

She knew he loved her but he hadn’t been able to say it before.

“I love you too Kaz. I’m here, you can breathe now” she calmly said, giving him a tender smile.

Kaz stared at her silently.

He needed to say it.

He wanted to say it.

He thought he had missed his chance before.

He couldn’t risk missing it again now that she was here.

This wasn’t how he thought he’d finally say it to her whenever he found the nerve to.

But, he supposed it was also kinda fitting for them.

“I do” he started, taking a deep inhale upon seeing her confusion, “I do ..love you.”

Her lips snapped up into a wide grin as she gazed lovingly back at him.

“I love you” Kaz repeated, more confidently this time.

She stood up beside his desk, setting her wrist out on his table again.

Kaz glanced at her before tugging off his gloves and gripping her wrist, fingers splayed crossed her pulse.

He closed his eyes as he fought the urge to puke.

But, as his fingers met her skin, her warmth and steady heartbeat under his fingertips was distraction enough.

And the fact it meant she was here and alive was rewarding and calming to him.

When he opened his eyes he saw she’d been switching between watching him and looking at the room.

Kaz instantly became aware of the state of his room.

He felt kiss cheeks warm faintly, “I’ll clean it up”.

She shook her head, tentatively reaching her fingers toward his forehead.

They had touched more than this before, but he was appreciative that she was cautious given everything that’d transpired the last week.

He wasn’t sure how he’d react either.

He nodded at her in approval and his heart fluttered warmly as she delicately pushed some stray hairs from his forehead.

For a few minutes they silently stared at each other, staying like that with her fingers minimally touching his forehead.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve been feeling Kaz” she told him sorrowfully.

Dirtyhands fought with him to stay silent, the way he’d done since the incident happened.

Yet, the fragmented pieces of Kaz Rietveld crawled their way through his walls and told him to open up to her.

He could see the look in her eyes and knew from the tone of her voice that she wanted to understand how he’d been since they last were together.

So, despite his reluctance, he let the pieces of his former self - the ones he thought had died with her-reignite.

“I wanted to scream” he began shyly.

“ I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to die, but all I could do was stare at the wall in silence and drink” Kaz admitted, motioning to the bottles scattering the floor.

She hummed softly, moving her hand that was near his forehead to place it on top of his hand that had been resting in her other palm.

Kaz closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, but as she went to pull away, he pressed his other hand over hers silently to keep it in place.

When he reopened his eyes he lifted a hand up to cup her cheek, “you’re here”.

She moved closer, “I am. I’m here”.

Kaz gave her cheek a tender stroke with his thumb as he offered her a smile; the kind only she ever got to see.

“No more rooftops” Kaz said, abruptly pulling back and writing something on a piece of paper he grabbed from the floor.

Y/n smirked and rolled her eyes.

Normally she’d argue with him about his overprotective behavior, but she knew better.

She didn’t want to imagine how she’d have been if the roles were reversed.

So instead, she nodded slowly when he looked up at her waiting on her annoyed argument he expected.

He let out a soft sigh of relief and gave her a small nod before he resumed scribbling, “The heartrender was Lieke, you said?”

Y/n smiled and nodded, “Lieke Abspoel. Super nice, from the Little Palace. That’s all I’ve got. Nina probably has more information on her.”

Kaz nodded and made a note to have Zenik bring this heartrender to him later.

For now, he planned to let himself enjoy the moment.

Sensing he was staring at her as she looked around the room, y/n turned back to him.

Smiling softly she walked to the bookshelf across the room and grabbed the hard spine of a book.

Kaz only realized in that moment that when he’d been staring off at the wall, he has actually been staring at that particular book without realizing it.

When she sat on the ledge of his window perch, Kaz routinely joined her, taking the book from her hands.

As he read the title, he felt his face warm and he grinned faintly.

The book he’d been unknowingly staring at the whole time was her favorite book.

Of course it was.

Dirtyhands wanted to smack himself for the loving and soft thoughts floating through his mind right now, but Kaz didn’t care.

He was just glad he hasn’t an actually lost her.

After reading the first line, he abruptly stood up and placed the book down.

Y/n watched in confusion as he dragged his desk chair over to her.

With her nonverbal approval, Kaz tenderly lifted her leg up onto it.

He glanced from the injured leg to her face and she smiled reassuringly “she could only do so much, she said it’ll take another week or so to fully set, but it doesn’t hurt”.

“You shouldn’t have walked here “ Kaz told her, almost scolding her.

She shook her head, “I needed to see you, couldn’t have you thinking you should be moving on without me”.

His eyes snapped to hers and he gave her a firm stare even if she’d been teasing, he wasn’t, “that wouldn’t ever happen”.

She hummed softly and nodded.

He slowly rejoined her, opening the book and holding it just above her leg closest to him as he prepared to read to her.

While he knew things would likely return to normal in the coming weeks, he would always cherish this moment.

Kaz had his girl back.

And now, he knew of additional ways to keep her safe.

Including, perhaps hiring a second heartrender to be on call should the need arise.

Kaz Brekker Navigation/Masterlist

Six of Crows Navigation/Masterlist

Grishaverse Navigation/Masterlist

Freddy Carter Navigation/Masterlist

Main Navigation/Masterlist (All My Works)

Current tag list (comment here to added): @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkershadowsinger @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

[hourglass-full-of-stars]

don't take the money (the bleachers)/ six of crows (leigh bardugo)/ crooked kingdom (leigh bardugo)

[phantasmicfish]

[ladylokilaufeyson5]

MYSTERY - w/ Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey please ! <33

A : "She's/They're/He's crazy!"

B : "Me? No, just goal oriented!"

C : "..I think the barrel's finally gotten to her/them/him.."

A/N: enjoy<3

Pairings: Kaz Brekker x Reader (could be romantic if you want but it's not really specific)

Warnings: mentions of illegal activity. idk anything else

Words: 300+

“You want me to break into the governor’s house – which, by the way, is illegal–”

Kaz cut you off with a huff and a roll of his eyes. “As if you haven’t done worse.”

“Yeah, I’m actually concerned why that’s the part you’re emphasising,” Jesper added with a small chuckle.

You glared at the sharpshooter, who only waggled his eyebrows in response.

“I’m leading up to it,” you grumbled. “Anyway, you want me to break into his house, get into the most secure safe in the world and steal his most prized possession – which is worth well over what most people see in a lifetime – and also kidnap his wife?!”

Kaz shrugged and turned in his chair. You honestly had your doubts about this little mission – of course, you’d done things like this before, but never at the same time. All six of the other crows were in the room too, and quite a few of them were also clearly lacking confidence at the plan. Of course, no one was doubting your ability to get the job done, but more so the level of difficulty required, as well as the fact that you were going to have to do it alone.

“I know you can do it, Y/n,” Kaz said, twisting a gold coin between his fingers.

“Actually, I agree with Y/n,” Wylan interjected. “Are you crazy?” 

“Me? No, just goal oriented,” Kaz responded, not even looking a little bit alarmed or even angry that someone had just accused him of being insane.

Which he might actually be.

“I think the barrel’s finally gotten to him,” Inej whispered.

“The barrel got to me a long time ago,” Kaz countered. 

Matthias sighed loudly. “So you’re telling me we’re running around with an mad man?”

“As if you didn’t know that already,” Jesper scoffed. “It’s all downhill from here.”

“Or, it’s not,” Kaz disagreed. “Wouldn’t you all like to be rich beyond your wildest dreams?”

Kaz turned to look at you, his stare hard but softer than he ever looked at the others. It was barely noticeable, but you could see it. See the worry and care in his eyes, see it being battled by his faith and confidence in you.

“I’ll do it,” you decided.

Wylan sighed and whispered to Jesper, “I think the barrel’s gotten to Y/n, too.”

come and join the celebration!

[nightingalewithavoiceoflonging]

You've all got it wrong. Tolya and Inej going off together at the end of sab season 2 isn't setting up a love triangle (in the traditional sense) but instead a dope ot3 with 2 poetry dorks and their knife wife 🥰

(This is about the show BTW)

[lady-ashfade]

Just a pawn

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Notes: kinda wanna make a part two..but maybe I just will leave it here.

Warning: Angst, heartbreak, no comfort, short, cursing, I wanna hug the reader.

This was exactly what you signed yourself up for, you tried to stop it. Telling yourself to bury the feeling deep down so you couldn’t get hurt, you hated feeling weak and this was exactly what you expected. You knew he would crush your heart, that you would wait for the end of time for him, just for him to feeling anything…

Anything other then anger.

“Don’t you walk away from me!” He shouted from behind you as your back was turned. You bit the inside of your cheek ready to cry and scream in anger. Spinning yourself you glare at him, his face dirty and sweat dripping and he looked as miserable as always. “Or what, Brekker?” You stepped closer, never letting your anger slip.

“Because we both know you can’t afford to let me go, who else would you have to throw in harms way? Inej, oh not your wraith. Jesper? Not him, your charming shooter. Nina, wylan, Matthias? Because for fuck sake he risk anyone he doesn’t care about!” You shouted as loud as you could, actually hoping everyone could hear you in ketterdam.

“Don’t you shout at me, this wasn’t my fault. We got the job done so stop yelling like this.” He groaned out. You laughed and put on a smile, “Oh thank the saints! We got the job done, so glad my almost death was worth it.” You cheered while putting your hands up.

Kaz looked at you with a glare and stood up straight not having the slightest bit of amusement from you. “For fuck sake, I had a plan. Yes you almost died but that happens on jobs like these. You came to me remember? You signed yourself up for this.”

You sighed yourself up for everything.

“No, I did not. If jesper wouldn’t have acted fast I would have fell from the building, nothing under me or could stop me from hitting the ground. I knew i could die on these jobs,” you went quieter and your eyes become heavy and flickering with tears, “what I didn’t know is that I would be used as a target to just toss around. Each time it’s always me who almost dies and you tell me to do it.”

He glare softens and his jaw unclenches it self. “I don’t toss you for you to die. You know that.” But did you? Did he ever give you a reason to believe that? “I actually don’t, kaz. I know nothing of what you feel or care about other then yourself.” The words cutting him like a knife. She wasn’t yelling or shouting but speaking to him in such a hurt tone.

“I know you know how I feel about you, kaz. I tried to hide it but it was just too hard, and I thought when you looked back at me- That you felt the same way I did.” You laughed and wiped the tears rolling down your face, “Funny huh? It was pathetic of me to believe that. Because you never could care for me like I want you to, you can’t even treat me like something other then a pawn.”

He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything as she broke in front of him. She didn’t know that it was her he cared about the most and it scare him how deep his feelings went. He pushed her away each time to not let the feeling take over, always yelling at her or moving her around. And it killed him to know he could never pull her close and touch her skin.

“Nothing to say? Fine, I’ll talk for the both of us. I’m leaving and when I come back we will forget this ever happen. You wouldn’t speak to me other then on a job, no glances from across the room. Nothing but acquaintances.” Speaking clearly with her mind made up.

Kax watched her walk away to the door and all he wanted to do was go after her and make her stay with him, tell her just how much he cares for her. But she could never know, he could never give her what she deserves. He stepped closer and his body moving on its own, but he forced himself still. You turned around and looked at him half way out the door, a sad smile on your lips and glossy eyes.

“Goodbye, kaz.” And then he lost sight of you and his heart shattered. He knew this was your way of saying goodbye to the way it was between the two of you. It was never going to be the same, a goodbye to him as yourself. He huffed and turned around to clear his deck of everything on it in anger. He shouted and slammed his hands on the table knowing it could very well be goodbye forever.

“You never were a pawn.” He sighed to himself like he was talking to your ghost. Everything he wanted to say.

[mara-brekker]

Request you want a request? I am happy to ask!

Can you please write a Kax x reader from shadow and bones? Could it be a "she fell first but he fell harder"? But add a little bit of angst in the please, maybe having him yell at her for always being there and she listens to him and gives him space and stuff. Idk just a thought

Ur Wish is my demand

My Investment

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Words: 1127

Warnings: angst, Kaz yelling? xD mention of blood

.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・

I've known Kaz Brekker for a few years now. I saw him for the first time on the streets of Ketterdam. Three men touched me and asked me if I was alone.

One of my many problems was not being familiar with the streets of Ketterdam. My father never allowed me to leave our big house. He always said that weird people would catch, torture and kill us. He listed countless names of these people I didn't know, but only one of them stuck in my mind: Dirtyhands.

But when said and his brown-haired companion helped me out of the mess and, as I learned, Nina offered me a place to sleep, it was soon to become clear to me

...

Kaz Brekker.

For some the devil himself.

However, no one saw the sparkle in his eyes, or his beauty in general. His smile made me blush every time, but I never really noticed that he was only smiling at me.

I knocked on his office and after a "mhh" I entered. "You came"

"You called." His eyes sparkled.

I slowly approached his desk, which had a pile of plans on it. Kaz got up and walked over to me. "I wanted to ask you if you could get me something." I nodded. I didn't care if it was relevant to all of us or just him, I would do it. "I need a box." He pointed to a sketch and I just nodded again. "The content is..." he looked at me "very important to me. But I can't get them. The crate will be found in a carriage. Jesper and I are out tonight and I guess I won't be able to get her before the carriage leaves.” He pointed to a map of Ketterdam as he talked. "I'll do it," he smiled, but only briefly. I was about to leave when Kaz said my name and I turned to him. "If the city guard or anyone else gives you trouble and you can't make it out with that box, leave it." I just looked at him in horror. "Kaz, it would only be a job half done if I returned without the target." But he just shook his head. "I really shouldn't have sent you. Just drop them if you're in danger.” Nodding, I left his office to go change.

…

I didn't care what Kaz said.

I will take this box with me even if one of my legs is in danger. I was standing in a dark side street where I should see the carriage that should come right now. The first thirty minutes passed when the people in the carriage didn't want to get off. But when they did, guards stood at every door. I saw a friend of my sister's walk past me and quickly asked her if she could help me distract the men. Of course I had to put down a few coins for it, but the female charms were reliable because both guards were now talking to her at the horses. So I crept quietly to a door and opened it quietly. I saw a box similar to Kaz's sketch on a bench and picked it up. Just as I stepped out of the carriage, a city guard ran up to me.

I ran and suddenly one guard became three and they even followed me onto the roofs. Unfortunately, the box was unwieldy to carry and one certainly couldn't climb it. I only felt a slight twinge in my left hip, and when I touched it, my hand covered a warm, red substance.

i was bleeding

I tried to run, climb, and jump, but the box made my pain worse and I dropped it. Like Kaz said.

It was easier to lose them now, and so did I. I arrived at the hiding place with a limp.

"Kaz she will surely come soon." I only heard Jesper's voice.

When Kaz saw me, there was relief in his eyes. However, this quickly faded and turned into anger. "My room. Now."

When I got to the top, I had no more strength. I had to take care of my wound as quickly as possible.

"I see you didn't manage to get her." I just covered my wound and tried to breathe calmly. Kaz must have seen from my look that I wasn't feeling well since he was walking towards me now.

"Take off the vest." I did as he said and he examined the wound. He hastily went to one of his closets and pulled out a needle, thread, and bandage. When he stood in front of me again and stared at the wound, his hands were shaking. He wanted to help, but for some unknown reason he couldn't.

"I can't," he said, looking at me. "That's ok" I answered and took the utensils from him to make myself comfortable on a chair. I picked up my shirt and started sewing. "You had them didn't you?" he asked and I nodded. "Why didn't you drop her sooner. I told you the same thing!” he now started to get louder. "Why do you think I said that? Just so that doesn't happen here. You are my investment and cannot be hurt and prevented. And then for nothing.” It wasn't anger that could be heard but something like fear. He was afraid for me.

"Why do you think I gave you this job? Because I trust you! I can't lose you too.” I could see tears in his eyes now.

“In these boxes were only pictures. Worthless pictures of me and my brother!” he said in panic. "You didn't look worthless to me."

"What do you mean?" he asked and I reached into my waistcoat pocket and pulled out said photos.

"My photos" there was the smile from him.

"As grateful as I am to you." He looked at me intently. "Don't ever do that again. You have no idea what I would do to myself if you died out there.” he said while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"My brother was older than me..." he began to talk. That evening I learned his great fear of further loss or why he avoided touch. But what I loved hearing from him the most was why he had called me his investment.

.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・

I Hope that I don’t have any mistakes in it :)

[makethosenarratorsfight]

REVIVED UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE A

[marvinthecrow]

Kaz and Nina don't always get along but they sure are a lethal duo!

Instagram | Ko-fi | Redbubble | Twitter

[rubysunnday]

mission possible

request - anonymous: hello!! congrats on reaching 2.6k followers! may i request sentence prompts 2 and 11? it would be really cool if you could make it a crack/humor and fluff typa fic !!! love your works and cant wait for new ones <3

"We need theme music."

Three heads slowly turned to stare at Jesper.

"I know I'm going to regret this but, why?" Y/N asked, turning her head and leaning past Inej to look at Jesper.

They were hiding in the bushes outside a Mercher's house, waiting for the guards to change. Kaz and Jesper were both dressed in the uniform of the guards - thick, navy wool coats with silver piping, black trousers and hats that resembled a weird looking cake.

Inej and Y/N were dressed in finer, fancier clothes that the wealthy merchant wives often wore to big balls or events such as the one happening inside the house.

Y/N had no idea where Kaz had found the clothes - the man seemed to have a wardrobe full of costumes and disguises - nor did she know how Jesper managed to weave jewels and expensive combs into her hair.

She was resisting the urge to steal one for herself, Kaz would inevitably find out and force her to give it back.

Kaz had overheard their target, a merchant by the name of Samuel Herys, bragging about a necklace he'd just bought his wife for their anniversary and how it was the most expensive thing his jewellers had ever made.

Naturally, greed had taken over Kaz. He was hungry for money and he wanted the necklace. The diamond and ruby necklace was locked away in the upper rooms of the house which made up the Merchant's home gallery. It was supposedly under armed guard but with a ball occurring in the ballroom on the ground floor, the least experience grunts would be on guard duty up there.

Kaz's plan was surprisingly simple for Kaz Brekker. Jesper and Kaz would go in first, dressed as the guards. They would scope out the room holding the necklace, dispose of any guards who were actually doing their job and when the clock chimed eleven bells, Inej and Y/N would sneak in and join them.

Inej and Y/N were dressed like the rich and wealthy of society so should they get caught, a guard would just assume they were a part of the ball and had gotten lost.

Despite their immaculate planning, there were still thousands of things that could - and probably would - go wrong. But knowing Kaz, he probably had a Plan A through to a Plan F.

"It would make things far more dramatic," Jesper explained, waving his revolvers around to make his point. "Imagine, us sneaking through the bushes and into the house with secretive, heist like music."

Y/N turned to her right and looked at Kaz. "Please let me shoot him."

Kaz's lips quirked upwards ever so slightly. "If I let you shoot him, my Plan E will go to hell."

Inej shushed them both and they looked up again. The guards were getting ready to change, groaning as they stood up from their little cubby house and stretching.

Kaz and Jesper looked at each other and nodded. They moved into a crouch and began slowly walking through the undergrowth. The two men went around the corner of the house and then appeared again seconds later, looking like they were a part of the guard.

The two guards who were getting ready to leave looked happy to see them and didn't even question why one guard was limping slightly.

"And the Merchant's wonder why their stuff keeps getting stolen," Y/N muttered, tutting. "At least try and make it a challenge."

"Now you've said that, Kaz will give us the most difficult thing to break into next, just watch," Inej replied.

"I'd like him to! I want a challenge. The Ice Court would be a good one - apparently impenetrable, different security levels - all that jazz," Y/N said, waving her hands.

Kaz whistled at them and Y/N and Inej stood up, clambering through the undergrowth. Inej was like a dancer, effortlessly dodging the twigs and vines.

Y/N, however, cursed softly as the heel of her shoe got caught on a branch and she heard Inej smother a laugh.

"Please do not die before we even get into the house," Jesper said, walking up to her and holding a hand out to Y/N.

Y/N took Jesper's hand and swore as her foot got stuck in a vine and she nearly tripped over the hem of her dress. "I miss my usual clothes," she grumbled, gripping Jesper's hand tightly as she kicked her foot free of the vine.

"Remember, diamond and ruby necklace," Kaz said quietly as they stood in a circle in front of the house. "If my intel is correct,`' he looked at Inej, their eyes locking onto each other for a moment, "then it's on the third floor in the gallery. It isn't locked away but there are two revolving guards who patrol the upper floors-"

"Which is where we come in," Jesper finished, catching up. "Right?"

"Exactly. We start guarding the doors and on the eleventh bell, Inej and Y/N come up and steal the necklace. We leave the way we came in," Kaz said, looking at them all one by one. "If anything goes wrong, we go to Plan H."

"And what's Plan H?" Y/N asked, picking at the neckline of her dress.

"You'll find out," Kaz replied. He walked up the stairs and stood in the doorway, Jesper on the step below, looking back at the two girls. "No mourners."

Inej and Y/N nodded, their jewels in their hair and on their dresses sparkling in the moonlight.

"No funerals," both girls replied softly.

Y/N sighed to herself and sat down on the steps of the back door, stretching her legs out and splaying the skirt of her dress to the sides like a fan.

She scratched her arm, the sleeve of her dark green dress itching her skin. She felt uncomfortable in the sparkles and the glamour and the jewels - it was a far cry from her usual clothes.

"Knowing me," Y/N said, looking up at Inej, desperate to break the silence, "I'll probably end up falling over in this dress,"

Inej laughed, her eyes sparkling. "Or falling down something - remember when you fell down the stairs at the Crow Club?"

"Oh, Saints, and I knocked Jesper down!" Y/N exclaimed, wincing at the memory. "And we nearly knocked Kaz over too - he looked like he wanted to murder me."

"Kaz always looks like that, Y/N, it's a permanent expression on his face," Inej replied.

Y/N threw her head back as far as she could without knocking any of the jewels out and laughed. "Don't, Inej, don't, I will end up saying that to his face."

The bell tower began to ring eleven and Y/N stood up. Inej went first and they kept to the shadows as they walked up the back stairs to the third floor where the gallery was.

Classical music wafted up from the ballroom below. Y/N leant over the bannister and caught a glimpse of the couples dancing, their dresses fanned out around them as they span. The chandeliers sparkled, illuminating the ballroom in a warm, welcoming yellow.

The hallway that linked all the rooms of the gallery together stretched before them as they came onto the landing. It was broken up by a large fountain in the centre that was quietly trickling water up and down.

Inej took the left hand side of the hallway and Y/N took the right, looking for any sign of Kaz and Jesper.

Y/N wobbled in her heels and swore softly. "Saints, these bloody shoes."

"I don't think I have ever heard you complain so much."

Y/N jumped, whirled around, tripped on the hem of her dress and fell straight into Jesper.

"Oh, falling for me already, are you, gorgeous?" Jesper asked, catching her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Y/N shoved herself away from him, righting herself. "Oh, shut up."

Jesper winked at her and Y/N tried not to punch his arm as Inej appeared with Kaz.

"The necklace is in the civil war room," Jesper announced, nodding to the biggest room that was full of mementos and paintings from the civil war centuries ago.

Each wall was full of giant paintings of soldiers, duchess, dukes, kings and soldiers. The necklace sat on a cushion in the centre of the room, sparkling in the soft yellow light.

Y/N stopped, looking up at a beautiful painting of a young duchess dress in a soft, light blue dress, holding a fan with her hair curled up and decorated with pearls.

"Don't get any ideas," Jesper muttered as he passed her.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Says you."

Kaz and Inej were standing in front of the necklace, quietly talking to one another and clearly having an argument through eye contact as they usually did.

"What's wrong?" Y/N asked quietly, standing beside Ineh.

"Kaz," Inej said, pointedly looking at the man, "thinks it is fake."

"And what do you think?"

"I think it looks genuine," Inej replied, looking at Y/N.

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at Jesper. Jesper was busy looking at a pair of revolvers to notice.

Y/N sighed, taking he necklace off the cushion and picking the cushion up, throwing it at Jesper's head. "Jes."

Jesper jumped as the cushion hit his head and he whirled around. "What?"

Y/N nodded to the necklace. "Real or fake, chip chop."

Jesper sighed dramatically. "Fine," he grumbled, quietly stomping over to the necklace.

He held his hands out in front of the necklace and closed his eyes, focusing on the particles inside the necklace. A minute later, Jesper opened his again and nodded.

"It's genuine," Jesper confirmed.

"Ha," Inej said, smirking.

Kaz rolled his eyes. "Just take it."

Inej stepped forward and carefully lifted the ugly necklace from its stand. "Saints, it's heavy!"

Kaz held out the small bag he'd brought with them and Inej dropped the necklace inside it. He put the bag in his coat pocket, his eyes glancing around them, double checking there wasn't anything else he wanted to steal.

"Kaz, stop shopping," Y/N muttered, resisting the urge to whack him with her shoe. He needed to get his priorities right.. "We need to go before the ball ends."

Kaz blinked. "Jesper, Y/N, go the back way out. Inej and I will go the side way - meet at the back door in the alcove. If you're not there by the time the clock strikes half twelve -"

"I'll make sure he's there," Y/N replied, cutting Kaz off. "I will physically drag him if I have to."

Jesper scoffed. "I would like to see you try."

"Jesper, stop flirting with Y/N, we all know it doesn't work," Kaz said, sighing heavily. "Now, can we get going or do we have to revert to Plan H?"

Jesper nodded, adjusting his hat. Kaz patted his pocket, double checking that the necklace was still there, and began walking out the room, Inej in his shadow.

Kaz and Inej went left and Y/N and Jesper went right, keeping to the shadows. The music from the ballroom was still playing - having changed from a fast waltz to a slower, calmer one.

Y/N walked ahead of Jesper, stopping before each corner to check there were no guards approaching. She looked down for a moment, looking at her shoes, and then looked up again, stumbling to a halt.

Jesper walked straight into Y/N's back. "What are you -"

He looked around Y/N and swore softly. Three guards were enjoying a bottle of kavas between them, playing cards and sitting on the balcony next to the side stairs.

"Fuck," Y/N whispered.

One of the guards happened to look up and his face dropped as he spotted Jesper and Y/N standing in the hallway looking very suspicious.

"Oi!" He yelled, jumping up and grabbing his rifle.

His cry alerted the two other guards and they also jumped up, clicking the safety off their rifles and pointing them at Jesper and Y/N

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking for the ladies room and got lost," Y/N lied smoothly. "This lovely gentlemen here was walking me back to the ballroom."

"I ain't seen you around before," one of the guards said, looking at Jesper with narrowed eyes.

"Uh, I'm new," Jesper replied, nodding.

The guard sniffed. "Aight."

The three guards sat back down and picked up their cards again, watching Jesper and Y/N closely as they walked past to the stairs.

"Wait."

Y/N and Jesper paused. Y/N looked around subtly, trying to work out other ways of to escape that didn't involve a gun fight. She had her back to the balcony that extended out over the back entrance and could, potentially, climb down it.

The third guard - who had kept quiet up until this point - stood up and walked up to them, standing incredibly close to Y/N. She kept her shoulders back and chin raised, not wanting to show an ounce of fear towards the man who was standing closer than he should be.

His lip curled into a sneer. "You're from the Dregs, ain't ya?"

The guard pushed Y/N out onto the balcony and she stumbled back into the railing, her back hitting it hard.

Y/N glanced at Jesper, who was being held by the two other guards, his arms pinned behind his back. He nodded once.

Y/N kicked the guard in front of her in the groin, shoving him to the side. Jesper broke free of the two other guards and punched one in the face and smacked the other one around the back of the head with his revolver.

The guard Y/N was fighting with recovered quicker than she had expected and he shoved her against the balcony railing again. The railing groaned as he pushed her against it, his hand wrapping around her throat.

"Barrel scum," he spat.

Y/N waited until he relaxed slightly and then attacked, unsheathing a knife from her sleeve and stabbing him in the neck. She spun and kicked him against the railing - the iron railing instantly giving away under the sudden weight.

The guard reached up as he fell backwards and grabbed the back of Y/N's dress, yanking her backwards.

Y/N yelped as she felt the balcony disappear from underneath her feet. She grabbed onto the floor, sticking her fingers through the metal grating as she held on tightly.

Jesper skidded to his knees above Y/N, the only sign of his scuffle being a busted lip and the fact he'd lost his ridiculous hat.

"No, no, take your time, I'm fine swinging away," Y/N said, looking up at him.

"Do you want my help or not?" Jesper asked as he stripped off his jacket and wrapped his hand around Y/N's left wrist. He paused. "I have a question to ask you."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, what?" Y/N asked, feeling her fingers beginning to cramp up.

"My revolvers were missing four bullets and had gunpowder on the handles," Jesper said. "You wouldn't know anything about this, would you?"

"I am hanging on for dear life and you want to discuss this now?!" Y/N exclaimed, glaring up at him.

"Well, either you tell me or I let you swing," Jesper replied, shrugging with one shoulder.

"Fine."

Y/N's grip faltered and Jesper tightened his hand, his grip so tight it was leaving a mark. Y/N knew he wouldn't let her fall and that this was just him teasing. So, because she loved her friend, she played along despite the fact her arms were protesting.

"Yes, I used your revolvers," Y/N replied, sighing. "I was practicing."

Jesper smiled as if he'd won something huge. "Thank you."

He reached down with his other hand, grabbing Y/N's hand, and began pulling her up, back onto the balcony. It wasn't graceful in any shape or form and Jesper and Y/N fell backwards awkwardly, Y/N landing on top of Jesper.

Y/N dropped her head onto Jesper's chest and sighed in relief. "Thank you," she whispered, lifting her head to look into his silver eyes.

Jesper winked. "Second time tonight you've fallen for me."

"Shut up, Jesper," Y/N replied, whacking his arm as she rolled off him and clambered to her feet.

Jesper stood up and held a hand out to Y/N as they stepped over the two unconscious guards on the floor.

"What did you do to them?" Y/N asked, gaping at the men.

"It is amazing how much damage a revolver does," Jesper said, looking down at his revolvers with a significant amount of love in his eyes.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Jes, you could flirt with a wall if you wanted to."

"I know, it keeps me awake at night," Jesper replied, nodding seriously.

The two of them fell into silence as they crept down the side stairs. As they reached the side door, the clock chimed half twelve. Kaz and Inej were waiting outside and abruptly moved away from each other as Jesper and Y/N joined them.

"You're late," Kaz said, looking up at them.

"We're on time!" Jesper exclaimed.

"For Y/N, that's late," Kaz replied.

Y/N winced slightly. "Sorry, nearly fell to my death, but I'm fine. Just ignore the guard over there on the floor."

Inej and Kaz turned their heads and looked at the guard lying in the bushes.

"Next time, Inej goes with Y/N," Kaz muttered. "Too much chaos goes on with you two."

"I take offence at that," Jesper said as they began walking towards their exit.

"Someone make him stop talking," Y/N complained. "He does not stop."

Inej laughed softly. The four of them walked across the back courtyard, past the broken balcony and the guard in the bushes, and towards the gardens and the broken wall they'd snuck through.

"I think that went well," Jesper said, unable to keep quiet. "Y/N was amazing - took out a guard all on her own."

Y/N beamed as she looked up at Jesper. "Why, thank you," she replied, spinning in a circle.

As she span, she noticed the guard who'd fallen slowly crawl to his knees and pull out a revolver, aiming it at Jesper. Y/N's brain didn't even register her actions. She grabbed Jesper around the waist and threw herself at him, knocking him to the side.

Jesper and Y/N fell into the wall of the house as a gunshot went off, hitting the tree in front of were Jesper had just been.

Y/N hit her head against the wall and fell to the ground underneath Jesper, the man landing on top of her with a grunt.

She heard the sound of Inej's knife flying through the air and the grunt as it hit its mark but she couldn't see.

"Hey, hey, Y/N, open your eyes."

Y/N suddenly realised her eyes were shut and opened them, Jesper appearing in her vision, his eyes full of concern.

"You alright?" He asked, his eyes scanning her face frantically.

"Mmhm. You are squashing me, however," she managed to squeak out.

"Shit, sorry," Jesper said, rolling off her and landing on the ground next to her. He propped himself up onto his elbows. "Part of me wants to punch you for being reckless but the other part of me wants to hug you and never let you go."

Y/N, who was still in a state of shock and reeling from what had just happened, turned her head. "Hug. Please hug me, I might start crying otherwise."

Jesper pulled Y/N so that she was sitting and then immediately wrapped his arms around her tightly, engulfing her in a hug. Y/N buried her face in the soft, silky fabric of his burgundy shirt and closed her eyes.

"Kaz, you can just leave us here," Jesper said, looking up at his boss.

"No, don't leave us here," Y/N said, lifting her head up and looking at Kaz as well. . "I don't want to be stuck here."

"Would one of you like to get up, then?" Kaz drawled, rolling his eyes but he was fighting the urge to smile. His Crows. "Come along, children."

Kaz began limping off towards the broken garden wall, Inej following in his shadow. Jesper jumped to his feet with little effort and yanked Y/N to her feet.

"Did he just call us children?" Y/N asked Jesper softly.

Jesper shrugged. "Well, I mean, we kinda are."

"How?"

"He's our leader."

"Yeah, leader, not father," Y/N replied, frowning. "Just because you have daddy issues, Jes."

Jesper stared after Y/N as she jogged after Kaz and Inej, linking arms with Inej as soon as she caught up with her.

"You just ruined a wonderful moment, you know!" Jesper yelled. "We had a hug and everything!"

[emmaannaelisabeth]

part one of “oh so I killed her?” tw: death

Inej dies and Kaz goes on complete carnage mode. he slaughters the ones who took her life, and some who just happened to be in the way. he doesn’t care. why hold back now that she’s gone? when he doesn’t have a reason anymore to even try?

but Inej hasn’t died, someone put a spell on her and she’s turned into a crow. a crow trying to get Kaz’s attention, a crow trying to make Kaz stop, see me, Kaz, I’m here, it’s me.

angry, desperate, not himself, high on revenge, lost, broken, delirious from grief, his heart shattered into pieces, he swings his cane at the bird that’s flying around his head, without thinking.

it’s only a second later he realises it’s a crow. and he feels himself break even more inside - he didn’t mean to hurt one of his own.

so he puts the bird out of its pain, out of its misery, thinking he’s making some kind of last good thing for Inej.

and that’s when the spell breaks and Inej lies there.

dead.

[holden-caulfield]

HEYO, HERE'S A POSSIBLE REQUEST FOR KAZ

A heist with split parts. Inej, Jesper and reader are in one place, working on stealing something Kaz needs. Him and Nina (or just rearrange the roles as you wish) are outside, backing them up in case of unexpected events. Inside, the three of them trigger a security system, only the two manage to get out, the reader gets locked in. Knowing she's able to get herself out, they return without her before getting caught. They wanna plan accordingly, but Kaz get's furious, worried, tense, you name it. Ignoring the danger and the plan, he goes back for her, killing and destroying everything in his way to get her out. How about in the end when she's safe, all of the tension and anger falls off of him and a hint of previously hidden affection gets revealed, unintentionally? (Feel free to change something if you want to <3)

hey leah. your request was lovely, as you already know. and i am very scared, i hope you like it hehe :)

-> seven bells

[dam-mango-cheese]

nina: i could cuddle you 23/7

matthias: not 24/7?

nina: waffle brakes

matthias: okay understandable.