#kept waiting for her route to end lol

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬, 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: stop, you’re losing me || part two: in the trees, in the breeze (here)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ your memory kept haunting Coriolanus Snow, so he found the way to end his exile. It’s a new era, but the same old feelings between Coriolanus and you keep causing scandals. Although, you are not ready to let go the pain he caused to you.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ Capitol ballerina!reader, angst, drama, violence and death lol, jealousy, unhinged Coriolanus, sex mentions, reader still has health problems, etc. 13k words fic IM SORRY

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ hear this along Can’t catch me now, I’m not an OR fan but I love that song from her. I mean, who didn’t? And thank you for the wait and loveeeee. PLEASE TELL ME OF ANY ERRORS BC I CAN’T BE ALMOST ACCUSED OF BEING TRANSPHOBIC PLEASEEEE

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

_____________________________________________

Red, blue, red, red, yellow, green, green, pink.

Every color is correctly marked. A nurse smiles with some papers on her hand before she dissapears.

You can get dressed again. The color test was done, your vision was okay.

Purple and green bruises are scattered across your skin. Some appeared on your inner thighs. Two on your knees and one on the ribs from the day you collapsed after the post-Hunger Games celebration. You sigh covering your skin with a long floral dress. The reflection of yourself on the mirror salutes you with a tired, broken and sad face. It makes you force a smile, pretending more people were watching you. The room in empty though.

“Everything is fine. Your body is responding well to the shots.” A doctor asks as soon as he walks in into the room.

“The only thing that worries me is your mental health. Have you been stressed or has anything happened to you that could be considered a traumatic experience?”

The pointe shoes soaked in blood. The unstoppable bleeding on your feet. The late nights with panic attacks and over thinking. That young blonde man and the songbird together. The night on dressing room, how your hand burned after slapping the man so hard. The shock of all the events surrounding your life two weeks ago. How you lost control, your head spinning, blurred vision, heart pounding, numb arms and how you felt the oxygen was leaving. All the things you did for someone who never deserved you, making you shatter, fainting as soon as you finished dancing.

“Miss y/l/n… Are you okay?” The distant voice of the doctor breaks your bubble. You shake your head in disguise before turning away from the mirror, facing him and smiling politely.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was very stressed, yeah. Working with the production of the Hunger Games. My artistic performances, last days at the Academy. It was a lot…” the doctor sighs, annotating something. He then handed you the paper.

“I’m giving you some treatment for that. And please, you have to be careful and calm. Only that way the medicine will help everything to work here” he points his head. You nod, accepting the paper.

After that, you leave the private hospital. Trevor is there, your chauffeur and friend. He smiles, opening the door for you.

“Thank you, Trevor” he starts the car soon after.

“Is everything okay?” You nod, looking at the bright day at the Capitol.

“I just need to relax and eat well.” Trevor had trimmed his hair. It made him look younger, making you smile at the memory of him saying his wife was his hairstylist.

“Good. Oh, I received a call from your mother. This woman…uh, Dr. Volumnia Gaul? She wants to see you at the Univeristy today” you frown to look at him confused.

“Oh? So… Can we go now?” He nods, turning left to start the route. Meanwhile, you wonder what could she want. You made your part, the games had a higher amount of viewers compared to last year. You engaged with the production and the celebration was at full capacity. Your little accident even made it more attractive to the media. Appearing on the papers and magazines across Panem.

And after everything, you still wanted to keep dancing. Or else range would consume you.

…

It’s the first time you step inside the Capitol’s University. It’s very similar to the Academy, but the floor tiles are green and white. There’s a lot of white, cream, golden and black decorating the halls and long stairs.

Since it’s summer, most of the building was empty. Only some of the staff, and very few people who seemed like students. You see they dress very elegant. Some women wore hats with feathers or flowers. The men wore classy suits and you genuinely thought you would fit in.

You couldn’t wait to have some sense of normality as a Univeristy student along Clemensia and Lysistrata. Your only close friends left. Well, also Festus and Sejanus. At the time, you didn’t event know your dear friend was dead.

What seems like the private office of Gaul has a red door. Inside, she had a laboratory, smaller but weirder than the one you had seen before. Full of dissected creatures, tanks and crystal containers with unknown chemicals.

Some steps further and you see her desk, where she is collecting some folders and putting them away in some shelves.

“Glad to see you breathing, miss y/l/n…” somehow you found the humor to smile coldly.

“As you can see.” You reply standing perfectly correct.

“By this point you should know what happened to Mr. Snow” goosebumps make you shake your shoulders slightly, you nod again.

“He was exiled. Twenty years. He lied to me and did not said a thing about cheating on the games”

“Indeed. However this morning, I just discovered he bribed a woman to be sent to District 12.” You bite your tongue to hide your fury. A hot feeling invade your chest in rage. But you just breathe, failing to not show discontent.

“That’s not any of my business anymore.” Even Gaul seems taken aback. However, she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps pulling away the pile of folders.

“Well, since it seems you both parted ways… I must share that I’m deleting any record or data related to the 10th Hunger Games. Too many things happened before, during and after the games. Things that would compromise the reputation of the whole organization. Including me, the Academy, the mentors, you and Mr. Snow” honestly, you don’t know what to say. You just frown slightly, demonstrating how confused you were. But you also understood with half of the context. The death of Arachne, Coriolanus and his odd ways to make his songbird oustand, the rebel attack, Lucy Gray Baird winning from cheat. And the things you didnt know like Sejanus entering the arena.

However, you stick to your parent’s advice. You have to think about you and anyone else.

“I understand. But I did my part. I completed my task so I hope this decision doesn’t jeopardize my grant” she smiles. Dr. Gaul secretly believed that you and Coriolanus Snow could rule Panem together. In a sick and evil way, so she really hoped her dark intentions would work.

“Of course not. We had a deal. The views went up this year. You brought a new vision for the promotion that I’ll hardly let go.” The ambition started tickling you. Making you roll your tongue inside your closed mouth, at the verge of opening it and talking.

“Good.”

“In fact, you would be a nice option to become head of the promotion and relations team.” From the last games, you realized the director only gave instructions but he rarely did the dirty job. You liked having some power over the games. And now, a childish and unjustified resentment towards District 12 made you smile as Gaul offered you a new job.

“Is it a possible option to be working in behalf of my mother’s institution?”

“You��re very smart, y/n y/l/n. You are going further than Mr. Snow” your smile only grows, knowing you are nit being correct. You are letting the rage and resentment to guide you. You will make your last name shine brighter than your parents did. Just to rub it in the face of certain blonde who was now exiled. Probably savoring the country life of District 12.

“I just want to make my family’s name bigger than it already is” the woman giggles, taking out a red envelope and handing it you.

“I assume you’ll pursue the arts as you’re speciality. But if you want to get involved with the production, marketing and relations. You are taking politics and some lessons with me” when you look down at the envelope, the golden logo of the university is greeting you. It’s the admission letter.

“I expect to see you here by the end of the summer” you nod, thanking her.

And as you walk outside where Trevor is waiting for you, you have a cocky smile. Feelings like things could go better. You don’t even remember the doctor’s appointment you were in before coming to see Gaul.

…

Your soft hands gently brush against his forehead. Coriolanus had chills, he hadn’t had fever since he was 15 years old. But your hands are so soft even when they feel cold as ice. He just knows he’s in his bed. In his rottening penthouse. He can see a slightly blurred image of you, wearing a green dress, your hair in a braid, a golden necklace, dark purple lips. He can’t hear your words, but you are talking to him, spreading some cream across his chest, immediately he felt the mint soothing his cough and pain. He must’ve said something funny, because he can now see clearly your face, gorgeous as always. And he can clearly hear you laughing.

Coriolanus wakes up smiling. And he realised he was dreaming.

He was in a small and creaky lower bunk bed. Sejanus sleeping in the upper bunk. The sun hasn’t come up. And he’s a peacekeeper in District 12.

It’s been weeks since he left the Capitol. And since day one, you seem to be haunting him.

Current dreams of you, swearing to be hearing your voice. It makes him want to call you every single day. But he doesn’t. He was able to forget about you when he was in the peacekeeper training and duties. When he was with Lucy Gray any trace of you was gone. But as soon as he had a moment alone, he would remember everyhting about you.

He missed you. Painfully a lot.

Every Friday, he had been sending the letters. He hoped your mother would hand them to you. But Coriolanus knew you too well to know you likely would not be reading them. Nonetheless, he was letting himself to write the most vulnerable pieces of him, putting his heart on each word and phrase. Hoping that by the time his exile was over, you would have forgiven him.

When the sun came up, he was up along the rest of the boys. Sejanus gives him a friendly smile and they’re out exercising and doing jobs all day long. During his break, he’s able to seat in an old bench, with a beautiful view of an open green field.

That’s when he dreams of seeing you there, dancing or simply standing there with a sundress. Like the ones you used to wear on summer when he visited the house your parents had in District 4. He dreams so hard that he swears seeing the skirt of your dress swaying through the trees. And that’s when he knows he’s so fucked up.

But that’s long forgotten after the break is over. And by the night, he’s on the biggest bar of the town. He sees Lucy Gray singing something new. He honestly never understood the meaning behind her songs, but he was enchanted by her do what she loved.

After her live presentation, a big projector was introduced. They started playing the weather with Lucky Flickerman. Which made Coriolanus miss the Capitol so bad.

“They’re probably waiting for some women. That’s why the always start that thing” Lucy Gray said, appearing by his side and pointing at the projector. He smiled at her.

“To see women?” She nodded, grabbing a glass of cold water.

“You know how are men around here” with no tv around, no ostentatious lifestyles, men could get excited with little makeup and satin gowns. Coriolanus was disgusted by many mannerism of the 12. He had heard and seen many disapproving behaviors. But he was happy to be able to find some peace along the songbird.

“Yes, I know. What’s that thing by the way?” When Coriolanus turned around to see the old projector, he almost choked after seeing the big logo appearing.

It was the summer fundraising charity of your mother. Another luxurious gala to help the constructions of the Capitol after war. However, that wasnt the most impressive part for Coriolanus. Seconds after the recovered from seeing something directly related to his past, you appeared in the projector, entering the stage and getting in pose to start a performance.

Lucy Gray Baird was in shock. So if she was surprised, the men all around the bar where cheering and whistling.

There you were, with curled wet hair, metallic bronze makeup, wine lips, golden bracelets on your arms. But it was the attire. A two piece set that let your legs and stomach show off. With bare feet, and two elegant knives, one in each hand. Your cocky smile was back. And it was ruining Coriolanus Snow.

He literally jumped from his seat, leaving Lucy Gray to cross the river of men and properly see you.

She knew you had broken up with him. And that relieved the songbird, as she felt like she could let her feelings for Coriolanus flow freely. But seeing the boy literally hipnotized as soon he saw you, it made her feel uneasy. Deeply she knew that Coriolanus wasn’t over you. And no matter what, you were a sensible subject for him. That not even herself could ever test.

But he kept going. Each step meant hearing them say how good you looked, the places where they’d put their hands on your body. It boiled his blood.

But finally, the dance killed him. Because maybe for the capitol you were still elegant and classy. Their eyes would publicly appreciate your art, and privately let their mind wander with your half naked body. But for people from the 12. It was like throwing a piece of meat to lions in starvation.

With your hips swaying tentatively, pointed feet and letting everyone know how flexible you were. That sassy look on your face that Coriolanus was feeling too personal. It was like you were saying “look what you lost”.

He was used to see you in pastel tutus, hair in a bun. Not this goddess ritual dance type of thing. The music was very different, something very uncommon in Panem. He really wants to punch every man in the room. He sees how most of the women in the bar see your graceful image with disgust. And Coriolanus couldn’t blame them. But it made him remember that he had lost the right to call you his. And that intrusive thought made him automatically think he wanted to go back home so badly.

Your sensual and meticulous steps keep going, the knives making him remember the folk tales of women dancing with sharp objects to show fertility, honor of their kingdom and to seal a man’s faith. Every minute more desperate for Snow, who’s over the edge of hearing men say plenty of things about you. But soon, the music stops with you arched, pointed feet, your curls kissing the stage, the knives perfectly pointing like a clock.

Coriolanus doesnt miss your evil smile. He can sense you are changing. And he remember all the pain he caused you, making him sigh in resignation. His desire of going back for you only growing.

“I’m sorry I left like that” he explains to Lucy Gray. She notices how quick he drank his beer. She was a woman after all, she knew the effect a fine female could have on men. Especially on the man who was their lover. The one that probably hurt her and left her, ending their history in bad terms.

“It’s okay. I told you she was very pretty before” Coriolanus learns that Lucy Gray was not being sarcastic that day at the zoo.

…

It had come to the point where he couldn’t run away from his thoughts. Coriolanus was borderline obsessed with your memory. He constantly wondered how you were doing. He had to ask Tigris every time they talked to see learn anything about you.

For the first time, since he left the Capitol, Tigris shares that she had talked to you.

Coriolanus was surprised to hear that the reason you gave about the breakup was only because he cheated with Lucy Gray.

You didn’t said a word about him the lies, the last argument you two had. You only say that his songbird was special. And that you stopped to be what he needed.

Which was heavily mistaken. Some days before he accepted that you were the only thing he needed to keep going. He imagines a fake scenario where you came to the 12 with him. You find a humble home where you wait till his training is over. The lake where he spent hours with Lucy Gray and The Covey could’ve been hours with you. Talking about anything and everything. He would’ve come straight home to you when the training was over. Make love to you, promise to fight for a higher position, possibly as a commander one day and marrying you. And soon the years would’ve passed, his exile would be over and you would go back to the Capitol with him. Maybe some children along.

But that would never happen. And his delusion was starting to make him find a way to go back where he belonged.

He questioned if his urges where for power, or to get back with the woman he loved.

Whatever the reason was, a lot of people would pay the price. First were the daughter of the mayor and her partner, then the man who had the decency to hide the gun he used to kill those two. Who also happened to be his alleged best friend.

His hands trembling as he pressed to record Sejanus. But he knew there were high possibilities of being heard. And that way, he would go back. He would find you and slowly start again.

The death of Sejanus would haunt him for a long time. He knew he was a close friend of yours, which made him get chills, uneasy to decide what could be your reaction to the news. Either way, it was done. The heavens had to have heard him. He was offered to serve in District 2, gain some money and he could easily take the train to see you if anything.

But Lucy Gray had other plans. And Coriolanus wasnt even sure of what he was doing. Probably in his rambling and panic after everything he went through as a peacekeeper, one side of him wanted to run away and never see back again. To forget about his decisions as a mentor, to forget about his decisions as a peacekeeper and to forget about you. That way he would never have to face all the pain he caused you.

After some hours of walking, Coriolanus should have seen the signs.

“Everyone in the Covey are really good dancers. But I don’t think it’s my thing. I just have my voice…” Lucy Gray said, holding her bag tightly. Coriolanus only smiled, remembering how bad the songbird was when he tried to teach her how to waltz.

“Is it like… exclusive in the Capitol?”

“I think so. Today there’s only one institution, the mother of…” he goes quiet, realizing what he was about to say.

“…y/n?” She asked, almost nervous about mentioning your name. But in reality, she wasnt. After Coriolanus nodded, they just kept walking in silence.

“Her mother founded it?”

“It was her grandmother actually. Mine knew her, and they were kind of friends” he said smiling, trying to look away from Lucy Gray so he couldn’t see him smiling.

Once you leaned Coriolanus was financially struggling some years ago, you ended up visiting him for the first time. That day you learned Grandma’am was friend of your family before your mother was born. And that only made her appreciate you faster. Which made Coriolanus happy. Finally seeing her grandmother to let go the days of the war and any crazy ideas that stayed on her mind. All thanks to you.

“Grandma’am even started planting pink roses for her.” It slipped out automatically, he couldn’t control it.

“She’s like ink…” Coriolanus missed the point. But after some minutes of silence, he understood what Lucy Gray said. Which resulted true. Metaphorically, you were the brightest tint he’d ever seen. He let that ink fall and splash everywhere, leaving stains on him that probably would never leave.

And finally, Lucy Gray Baird fell to her end in the shallow woods. Hunted like a prey. By a broken man who decided to stop being good. Who was losing his mind for the pieces of a woman he let go so easily.

That changes like the destination of Coriolanus.

He’s going back to the Capitol. With tiny sparks of hope. But firmly believing that everyhting was meant to happen like that so he could go back to you.

However, as he came closer, Coriolanus realized he was lost. He had no idea what would await for him. And what version of you would greet him.

…

There isn’t an exact period over the Capitol that can’t be considered as autumn. The summer was practically over, and winter was already happening. Coriolanus had to wait longer than expected to get into University. In the meantime, he accepted the money from the Plinth family. He decided to get ahead of time. He used the last hot days to get Tigris and Grandma’am back to the penthouse. He bought the whole building and in two weeks the whole place was renewed. There was only one thing he couldn’t get rid of. The living room and entrance olive paint you brought. He painted the halls, dining room, studio and kitchen in a dark blue paint. But he wasnt able to get rid of the memories he made with you. His old self was long gone. But he had his supcisions that the version he was for you would never change.

However, he decided to stay afar from the public eye for that month after returning from exile.

Tigris said she hadn’t seen you. But that was okay. He would soon enter to University. He was going to see you there.

Eventually the day came. He gets rid off Casca Highbottom and then he walks towards the big and imposing University of the Capitol. He had a driver now, but he thought it wouldn’t be bad to use the mornings to walk.

In his first hours inside, he has private lessons with Dr. Gaul. Already mentoring him to be a game maker. She kind of suspects he was involved with the sudden death of Highbottom. But for some reason, Gaul has a lot of hopes in him, so she would easily act blind to keep her plans to keep going.

After that, Coriolanus starts looking out for you. He crosses the big seminar rooms and other halls. Until he is able to locate the arts building. It’s smaller but probably the most interesting. With a beautiful barroque facade. As soon as he enters, he sees a group of girls holding large canvas with beautiful paintings on them. Then, some steps later he spots two guys trying to carry a sculpture. Coriolanus believes that kind of modern art was the future of the Capitol. He had to admit the arts building was fully alive, he even forgot he was still at the university.

Coming down from some stairs, he sees two girls. A red haired and a tanned with black leotards and floral skirts are giggling. They seems like dancers, he doesnt think twice. He’s already approaching the girls.

“Excuse me, ladies. Do you know by any chance where I can find y/n y/l/n?” The girls look cheekily at each other, before smiling at him. Which makes Coriolanus wonder what type of rumours had been flowing around about you and him. Since mostly everyone knew the last Snow heir was dating the daughter of the kings of Panem´s television industry.

“She’s rehearsing a class for new students. It’s on the second floor, you’ll hear the music…” he thanks the tanned girl before going upstairs.

She wasn’t lying. He started hearing the classical piano music. He can hear some distant and low cheering. The whole floor is full of dancers. It’s a long hall, to the right, a big studio, with a classical mural, chandeliers and the most giant mirror he’d ever seen.

The people outside the studio see him with curiosity. But he only has eyes for the ballerina dancing all across the studio.

There you are, with a coral tutu, baby pink leotard and thighs. Your pointe shoes seem new. Your cheeks look so pink and your smile is there.

He has to understand that you have become popular enough to have your own fans. Some rumors said that your mother was offering master classes at the University. And he couldn’t help but think how much your family’s name have growth since he left.

He lost count of many turns you did, but you finish cleanly, offering a beautiful view of your tutu wadding. He can’t stop smiling.

People start a round of applauses. He debates whether to get closer or not. He doesnt have any speech prepared. He doesn’t know what to say to you.

“Coriolanus?” When he turns around, he sees Clemensia Dovecote there. Her old study buddy looked older, but not in a bad way. He saw the scales on her skin. But he didnt had to ask, he knew it was because of the rainbow snakes. It just seemed weird to see her short sleeves but turtleneck, rather than her trying to cover all of her face.

“Clemensia” he greets her. Clemmie was probably your female best friend. It wasnt a surprise that suddenly the woman seemed to dislike him.

“Since when you returned?” He looks back at you again. As the music keeps playing, he just smiles. He know the way things would now work. With no how are you questions or anything like the past.

“Some weeks ago.” Clemensia looks like she’s analyzing every movement and word of him.

“Why are you here?” Her hostile tone only makes Coriolanus to act more relaxed than he already is.

“I made the promise to come back for y/n…” the woman stares at him, probably taken aback.

“She doesn’t need this, Coriolanus. She can’t have this” Clemensia had visited you at the hospital. She learned most of his lies towards you. She knew you didn’t deserved to fall again. And especially not because of him.

“I know, Clemmie. I won’t be a burden for her” the music stops, and Coriolanus decides that it’s not time to talk to you yet. So he smiles once again to Clemensia.

“I hope so. Because you already failed her once…” his smile drops. Clemensia dissapears to get inside the studio. Coriolanus stares at you one last time, before he silently walks out.

…

Before you can reach your glass of posca, a porcelain plate with your food slides on the way. A soft piece pile of fried little steaks, with melted cheese and a golden sauce of mushrooms dripping. Your stomach churns and it makes Clemensia laugh.

She had a salmon fine cut with caviar and other exotic stuff. It was a beautiful afternoon to have dinner at one of the most elegant restaurants of the Capitol Downtown.

“Bless your food.”

“Bless your food” you reply back to her.

“So, How it went the rehearsal?” You roll your eyes giggling.

“It was great, until the girls taking the masterclass appeared to see me” your father was right. After working in the production of the 10th Hunger Games, many doors opened for you. Splendid career opportunities here and there. Only that you didn’t enjoy a lot of attention.

“Are they still at the Academy” you nod.

“Rich girls who can make their parents pay the classes of course” Clemensia smiles, drinking a little bit before getting back to eat.

“Coriolanus was looking for you…” you literally stopped eating. You almost drop your fork, but you decided to hold it firmly.

“What?”

“Apparently he’s back.” She reveals. Making you close your eyes in panic.

“How? He was exiled” you say whispering. Clemmie shrugs.

“Gaul. He’s her pupil star. And with Dean Highbottom dead now…” it must’ve been great for Coriolanus to learn the man was gone. Always putting him in the lowest, it was a mark for change.

“Doesn’t matter, I won’t let this get into my way” she smiles.

“What about what your father said?” During a late lunch, you had been talking with your parents, revealing that you broke up with Coriolanus because he cheated. Your mother was shocked, but soon she joined your father to give a twisted advice. He asked if you still loved him. You answered you weren’t sure.

Then I suggest you to proceed to ignore him. Soon you’ll learn his intentions if he ever comes back. Play with him a little. Show him that nobody will laugh in the face of family like ours. Let your hands get dirty, but never show this insecurity you’re talking about.

From that day, you still wake up every morning without knowing how you actually feel about Coriolanus Snow. You know you can’t just simply forget about all the things you did with him. But you firmly pretended that he was in the past.

“I still don’t know how I feel about him.”

“Are you still in contact with his family?” You remember Tigris and Grandma’am.

“Not as much as I used to”

“Mhm. Did they ever learned what happened?” You sigh.

“Just that he opted to choose the songbird before me. And I know Tigris has her own opinion. I just never gave her the opportunity to share it.”

“With him back… probably you’ll find out sooner than later” Clemensia admits, leaving you thinking for the rest of the dinner.

Turns out that you are not ready to find out yet.

…

The first time you see him, it’s at the gardens of the University. You had lunch and wanted to have a brief walk. Through a maze of flowers and plants, you spot him on a bench. He’s very concentrated reading a book. Your eyes widen, seeing how much different he looked. The posture, the clothes, the hair, the cold look.

Something notoriously changed. And you have your suspicions. It wasn’t a coincidence that Sejanus was gone, and Lucy Gray Baird had dissapeared.

You mourned the death of Sejanus one week. You send your condolences to his parents at the funeral. And that night you can’t help but cry on your pillow. Wondering why had life slowly turned dark. In a matter of months you had experienced things you never thought you would. You lost people, you had your first heart broken. You had lost the will to do much things. But, you had to keep going. And you felt guilty, because you thought you had no right to feel like your life was hard, just for being Capitol. The districts struggled more. However, it’s not on your power to mend their lives. Just as it’s not their case to judge your life.

And now, seeing Coriolanus so firm, so calm, it makes you doubt. Sensing that there must’ve been something off about him. Something bad, like all the things he did and hid from you.

You pretend you’re looking for some papers in your bag when you walk past him. He doesn’t see you though, and you thank it.

A couple of days later, you hear for the first time the rumours about him courting Livia Cardew. It makes you feel depressed. You cry out of anger as soon as you get home.

And to your dismay, the first thing you see after turning into a room for the politics class, it’s them. Coriolanus Snow is talking to Livia just beside the door.

That’s the first time you two look at each other again. He sees the anger, discontent and so much resentment. You see the questioning, curiosity and admiration in his eyes.

Nothing else is said because you break the gazes, you walk inside the room with your head high, and your presence is so evident that even Livia has to look at you. Taking too much time to see your beautiful heels.

A week later, you are having a good time with your friends. Festus and Lysistrata are there with you and Clemensia. You are talking all about the upcoming winter gala held at the biggest auditorium in the Capitol. Everyone is excited because it’s the great opportunity to make contacts and eat the most delicious food.

“Is your mother inviting Coriolanus?” Lysistrata asks with curiosity. You roll your eyes at the subject.

“I hope not. I haven’t even spoken with him ever since he came back” everyone knew you had broke up with him. But only Clemensia knew the details.

“Well, apparently he is courting Livia now” Festus mocks, making everyone laugh. Not that any of you had something personal against Livia. But she wasn’t the most brilliant star at the Academy. Now not certainly at University.

“Why Livia?” Clemmie asks laughing.

“Perhaps it’s becase how naïve she is”

“Or because of her father’s inheritance” you add.

“I don’t think so. He’s now the heir of the Plinth fortune” Festus remarks with dessaproval, which makes you feel angered.

“He’s dancing on Sejanus’ grave” your words create some minutes of silence for your late friend. Even when Festus and Lysistrata had made fun of him for being District and the ways of his parents to go up, at the end, they were friends. And now his absence had created a void.

“Ambitious and annoying. Just like his father…” Lysistrata comments sipping on her glass of water.

“How unfortunate. If he had stayed with you, we wouldn’t be talking bad things about him behind his back” you sigh at Clemensia’s words.

“Speaking of the king…” when you look past Lysistrata seated on her chair, you spot Coriolanus. He was wearing a dark grey suit, he looked so fine you had to admit. But soon you look away, the sudden memories of your last days with him haunt you.

After spotting his old friends and ex lover in a table at the cafeteria, he start walking towards there. Trying to make his first moves to go back to normality.

“Yeah. He would’ve been seated beside me right now. But he consciously choose the songbird before me. At least he’s refining himself a little bit with Livia” your friends turn to look at you in shock after the revelation, Clemmie only rises her brows as she sips her water silently, hiding her smile. By the time Coriolanus arrives the table, you’re gone and he curses himself for not walking faster. Festus and Lysistrata are shocked, making him furrow his brows in confusion.

“Did I missed something?” He asks.

“You had an affair with your tribute?” Lysistrata asks back in disgust. Coriolanus sees Clemensia giggling in silence with her head down. Probably enjoying his embarrassment.

His silence meets the requirement for an answer. One that they take as yes.

“And now y/n knows about you and Livia” Coriolanus frowns ever deeper after looking at Clemensia.

“There’s no Livia and I” He responds firmly. Even disgusted to her his name along the least smart girl of his finances class.

“Oh but everyone believes so. That you’re courting her…” he rolls his eyes, annoyed.

“I’m just talking to her because we’re partners for some stupid research paper” the silent sipping on their drinks at the same time is ridiculous to Coriolanus. He just stares at them annoyed.

“Do me a favor and leave her alone, Coriolanus. You were gone to go to your nobody girl from 12, but I stayed and saw her struggling in that hospital bed” Clemensia speaks confidently. Making the blonde to feel threatened.

So he realises that maybe you could have feelings for him still. And that this rumors could have weight on you. He curses himself. Even without realizing, he’s still hurting you.

“I won’t lose the girl twice, Clemmie. Have a good day” he says with a fake smile before leaving the table in shock.

He had to quicken the pace of his proximity with you. He had to make you see he never stopped caring for you.

…

There’s a shattering mess of broken glasses. You quickly move away from the crime scene, looking for your pills, immediately swallowing two.

Your mother’s assistant opens the door, asking for you with concern.

“Is everything okay, miss y/n?” You turn to look a the woman.

“I accidentally threw the jar. Sorry…” Millie is in her mid thirties. She was your mother’s confidant, and slowly yours too. She sees the news paper in the floor, half of it drenched from the broken jar that had water. She can see the title, The Snow heir tights the knot with the Cardew family?

“I’ll call the maids. Don’t worry” she says looking back at you.

“Thanks Millie.” She smiles, closing the door behind.

You breathe loudly, sighing in stress. Of course you had purposely thrown the water jar because of the news paper. A portrait picture of Livia is placed perfectly aligned with one of Coriolanus. Between some paragraph there’s your name too. But you don’t dare to see why.

You may pretend to be okay to the public eye, but you’re still drowning in the same feelings you got after Coriolanus Snow revealed his lies to you.

It’s almost like if he was still mocking you. Showing everyone how easy he had played with you. And how easy he got rid of you.

Someone had to pay. No, not someone, he. He, himself, Coriolanus Snow had to fail. Only that way you would feel slightly better. Only that way your tears would stop being for him.

The first chance you had, you would take it.

…

While you loved pursuing a dancing career along the production stuff. You still had some duties regarding politics and economy. Which is why you ended up at the submissions office so early in the morning. To send a petition.

You end up at at a messy office. A man is there, moving folders and other type of papers. There’s three baskets that can clearly be read as; approved, denied, pending.

However, you quickly look away to smile at the man who’s sitting behind the chair.

“Good morning.” Your smile is contagious to everyone. The man replies with a warm greeting.

“Good morning, miss y//l/n. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you could hand me a petition form to send” he nods, standing up, leaving the mess of papers behind.

“I can, just let me go and print the form. It won’t take too long…” you smile again, letting him go outside the office.

As you wait, you start seeing the racks of boxes and more boxes filled with yellow and lined papers.

Your curiosity grows, making you look at the baskets on the desk.

You see at first glance some graduation petitions, letters, etc. You are still curious to see why some papers where pending. So you look at the door one last time before diving into the papers. You don’t know the first students mentioned. Until you see the third yellow folder, where you can see a white strip with black letter saying Coriolanus Snow.

You open the folder, seeing what it was all about. A petition to start a political campaign at the age of 19. You frowned. He was good at writing. Even with letters he had some charm. But you know he never beated you to be precise and delicate. You always heard Grandma’am saying he would one day be president. But you never seriously discussed it with him. Now you know it was real. And you can’t help but feel an enormous amount of remorse.

He doesn’t deserve it. He had lost everything once, but the way he was earning everything was through breaking you, and probably others you’ll never knew about. Even when it would make Tigris and Grandma’am happy, you slip the folder into the basket of denied. You don’t feel nothing as you do it.

In fact, you offer the sweet man a smile when he comes back with the form for you. You thank him and then walk out.

…

Coriolanus swears he didn’t intend to bump into your father at the bank. Your father was a frivolous man, but since he knew him, he greeted Coriolanus with respect.

The blonde was taken aback when he invited him to have dinner at your house. And he couldn’t say no.

Your house is the same. At least from the outside, because inside, there’s more color. Coriolanus sees your mother. And she offers him a smile before he leans to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Coriolanus, look at you. You look very handsome!” His cheeks warm, as your father giggles, handing his coat to a maid.

“I ran into him at the bank. Where’s y/n, dear?” Your mother laughs, rolling her eyes.

“That girl. I haven’t seen her out of her room since midday” the sudden sound of your heels gets noticed.

“I’m here” you say, coming down the stairs, putting some earrings on. Coriolanus notices the grey dress and black heels along the red tights. A diadem on your head and a bright smile that soon dissapears as you spot him in your house.

“Look who I found earlier” you sigh, standing straight.

“I see…” Your parents can see the way you correct your posture, showing how uncomfortable you are.

“We’re having dinner…” you ignore Coriolanus and his deep gaze on you.

“I can’t stay for dinner. I have rehearsals and I promised Clemmie to go to her birthday dinner party” they exchange looks. And Coriolanus is at the verge of smiling at the way you are making up an excuse to leave. Running away from him.

“Are you meeting with Jan before?” Coriolanus head almost pops to look at your father. And you don’t know if you should smile. Jan was your dance partner, he would dance with you at the gala. He was older, very handsome. And you wished he wasn’t off limits from you. Because you easily could admit your attraction towards him.

“Can you at least stay for some drinks?” You shrug at your mother, accepting your purse from a maid. You ignore Coriolanus and his way of looking at you, almost petrified.

His head was spinning, he needed to know who the hell was Jan.

“Unless you want me to do horrible at the Winter Gala, no. I cannot stay, mother” she sighs, tilting her head towards your father. He understands, your father was the one who convinced you to ignore Coriolanus and play with him.

“Well, that’s fine. Just be polite and say goodbye to Coriolanus.” You nod, watching them leave inside the long corridor to enter the dinning table.

You remain quiet, looking down at your purse to avoid his eyes.

“You look lovely” he says, breaking the ice.

“Thank you.”

It’s the first time you two talk since months ago.

“I heard you want to start your political campaign” you opt to pretend you are okay and you can face him with confidence.

“I did. But the idiots of the council rejected my essay. Guess it’ll give me more time to focus on university.” You nod, grabbing a pair of gloves from inside the purse. You want to smile so badly. He would never know you were the reason of his failed first steps in the politic of Panem.

“Anyways… How you’ve been?”

“I’m fine, Coriolanus.” the way you sound tired. Like tired of him makes him uncomfortable. But he tries to keep his best smile too.

“Who is Jan?” He asks almost too seriously. You smile politely at him

“No one of your business, Snow” you calling him by his last name takes him very aback.

“You know, I just hoped that… you know. Maybe we could start off again… like friends of course” you giggle, lowering your head. He frowns confused.

“Miss y/n, Trevor is waiting in the car for you” the butler say appearing from the side door, you thank him and he leaves again.

“I don’t think there’s a way to start again. You already failed me once, Coriolanus.” You admit, putting on the gloves with a bittersweet smile on your face. You turn to pat his cheek, and he swears he’s about to melt. He lounged for your touch since the moment he left you at the hospital. He closes his eyes, hoping to slow down time and felt your cold touch.

But you move away your hand. He opens his eyes and sees you putting the last pair of the gloves on. You walk towards the door.

“You know where the dinning table room is.” And with that, you are gone.

…

Your father gave him the green light to court you again. Coriolanus had to swear that he would never cause you any type of pain, or else, your father would destroy his career before it officially started.

That was more than enough for him. Since that day, slowly, he had been greeting you almost every day, at Univeristy and when you ecountered him and Tigris in a furniture store. You personally invited her to the Winter gala, and Tigris agreed to not share the news about the invitation. But to the young Snow woman, it was a surprise that your father had already invited Coriolanus to the gala.

Soon the day came. As usual the gala opened with the performance of an specific play, than everyone celebrated in the hall with fine dining, and everyone gossiped as auctions happened. It had been a couple of weeks, very busy ones. Probably it was even more important than the arts gala on March. But for this special occasion you had rehearsed a lot to be an elegant black swan.

You smile at your own reflection at the mirror, the black tutu was gorgeous. The crown you had to use was very intriguing. And the black makeup made you feel very confident.

“I came as soon as I could” Clemensia suddenly opens the door of your dressing room. She looks agitated, but she looked amazing on a beige dress and her hair in half ponytail.

“You look very pretty” she thanks you.

“But look at you. You are going to be amazing.” She sits and both start gossiping.

“Your father invited Coriolanus.” It makes you roll your eyes tired. But you are having a heartache.

“I’m… not sure if I don’t feel anything about him” Clemmie leaves her glass of champagne.

“The newspaper rumour affected you. Right?” Slowly, you nod. Too embarrassed to look at her in the eye. But Coriolanus had been really good. He smiled at you at any chance he could. Some days he would join you and your friends and he was fun, you had to bite your tongue to avoid giggling. And Clemensia had seen it too.

“I can’t blame you. I was there since the beginning…” your friend had seen the courting, the first awkward hand holding, how you two formed a strong connection. And Coriolanus left you at the hospital.

“You two had a beautiful bond. And he broke it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t miss him” Clemmie goes to hug you.

“Pa’ said to keep playing with him, to ignore him. But I’m tired, I just want to heal” she nods, letting you hide your face on her shoulder.

“You want my advice?” You nod.

“Do not force anything. Be polite to him, but avoid giving him any chance yet. As you heal, you’ll find the answer; if you should let him have another chance or not”

A man knocks. When Clemensia opens the door, he receives a bouquet of white roses.

You could recognize those roses anywhere. You get closer, taking the attached note.

Grandma’am and Tigris didn’t know what flowers to cut.

Good luck.

You try to hide your smile. But it’s impossible.

…

The whole place is full. Coriolanus takes a seat with Tigris besides.

“I talked with her yesterday. She said she was very nervous about this one” Tigris says. Coriolanus knows she’s talking about you.

“She’s always perfect, she shouldn’t feel nervous.” His mind was only thinking about Jan. He did his research. And learned he was a former dancer of your mother’s institution. It made him mad.

“Have you thought about inviting her to have dinner?” Coriolanus shakes his head.

“Not yet, I haven’t talked enough to her”

“Well, hurry up. Grandma’am wanted to see you married by the age of 20” she says laughing. But it doesn’t make Coriolanus smile.

“Oh look, it’s starting” Tigris squealed with excitement. The curtains lifted and the show started.

For the first twenty minutes, he’s so bored. Nothing exciting happens. He thinks the white swan is boring. And for the first time, he meets Jan. It makes him feel jealous.

It only worsened when you appeared on stage. Your black attire makes him go mad. He had never seen you in anything like that. He gets very invested in your scenes. He feels the emotion you are trying to project. Sassy, cheeky and attractive. You succeed to him.

Unfortunely, Jan had to appear too. And Coriolanus has to sigh, dealing with the scene of the man holding you to make you gracefully spin. The music doesn’t help, it holds the sense of you and Jan dancing together. Coriolanus knows dancing has a lot to do with acting. But he doesn’t enjoy the looks of lust and desire between you and your partner. The worst part? He had to seat and watch it for at least fifteen minutes.

His head malfunctions. But he already is telling Tigris he needs to the restroom.

It’s a lie. He goes to the dressing rooms. And his luck was so big that he found the one with the name of Jan. He slowly made his way inside. The place was so old that he didn’t need to check for security or anything, but he wanted to make sure nobody would see him in real time.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to accomplish, but surely he wanted to get rid of the man who apparently had your attention now. Your mother had said you and Jan worked very well. And now, with him seeing the performance, he was more than sure he couldn’t let it move forward.

His hand went to his pocket, and his eyes widened. He felt the little glass tubes of narcotics. The same he used to kill Casca Highbottom.

He thought about it just for a little. Was it worth it? Getting rid of a man just to have easier access to you.

Maybe.

Then he questioned how bad he wanted you back. Coriolanus had missed you since day one. He knew he would never love anyone else. He knew no one would treat him as you once did.

So he poured the liquid from one of the tubes inside the water flask resting on the vanity. And before leaving, Coriolanus slipped two more tubes inside the bag that contained Jan’s clothes.

“You took very long at the restroom” Tigris tells her cousin when he came back.

“There was a long line”

…

This time, is different. You smile and you can hear the big round of applauses as you make reverence to go off from stage. You were the last one and the curtains came down finally.

Once you are free, you have all the time in the world to breathe. Other dancers and production staff members congratulate you. But it’s Coriolanus Snow the one who makes you frown confused. He was backstage, looking at you with a soft smile. His classic black suit makes you go back and remember about the Reaping ceremony. How happy that day initiated, and how bad it turned out.

“Coriolanus.” You greet him, he can see a tiny smile on your face.

“You were amazing. As usual, of course”

“Thank you. And for the flowers, they were gorgeous. As usual, of course” he’s so surprised that you were talking to him with some humor sense. Both of you laugh and it feels… warm, and natural.

“It’s nothing. But.. perhaps we could just sit together at dinner?” Your cheeks warmth. You think about your confusing feelings, what your father and Clemensia respectively said. Sitting with him once wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Yeah, we could.” He smiles, and even when his hair changed, his deeper voice. For some seconds you can see the boy you once loved.

And he almost feels like he was seventeen again. Watching you dance backstage, ready to greet you with a kiss. He sees the girl who helped him so much. And he just know all the horrible things he’d done were worth it.

“I-…” but his words stay lingering in the air. Both of you hear a female scream. Coriolanus and you exchange looks before starting to walk where the sound was heard. In the corridor of the dressing rooms you see a woman lingering to an open door. Immediately you recognize it’s Jan’s room. You quickly make it there, through the pain of your caged foot inside the pointe shoe. Coriolanus goes behind you, already sensing the scene inside.

He hears you gasp in shock, covering your mouth and tears forming on your eyes.

You are in shock, you sob, unable to blink.

Jan is on the floor, pale and blood on his mouth. He’s dead.

And as much as the scene shocks you, you are trained to entertain the Capitol, so you turn to them random woman.

“Go and find Millie. Tell her about this and do keep your mouth shut. Nobody can know beside my parents. Understood?” You indicate the woman with a broken voice. She nods in horror dissapearing through the corridor. When she leaves you can finally cry.

When you don’t know what else to do, you are holding onto Coriolanus Snow. You find comfort on his chest. And he immediately holds you back.

As much as you hate to admit it, you feel you are home in his arms.

With one hand, he closes the door of the dressing room and returns to completely be there to hug you. He smiles, knowing he’s already slowly winning.

Because when your parents find out what happened, they make you put a cute black and green velvet gown with crystals. They make you pretend nothing happened and you sit with Coriolanus and Tigris. Ignoring the upcoming rumors, and certainly not respecting the sudden death of Jan.

…

Two days later, Coriolanus finds you seating on a bench. You are eating a sandwich, looking lost. He takes a seat beside you.

“I’m sorry about Jan. It happened so suddenly” he doesn’t feel sorry. Opposite of what he felt about Sejanus and Lucy Gray. However, he firmly believes it was the only way.

“He was a wonderful man. A devoted dancer, with principales. He had a wife in District 3.” Coriolanus coughs. He wasn’t expecting that. That little detail wasn’t on his research. Something twisted inside him, but he still didn’t regret or felt sorry.

“He didn’t seem the type to use narcotics…he must’ve been very stressed out” you add. Oblivious that you are talking with Jan’s murderer.

“Are you sure you are okay?” You roll your eyes sighing.

“No. I’m not okay, Coriolanus. Not since that cursed Reaping ceremony day”

“I’m just trying to be here for you” he admits, and it’s your breaking point.

“WHY DO YOU CARE NOW? YOU FAILED ME WHEN I MOST NEEDED YOU!” He looks around to see if anyone was around. But the place is empty.

“I know I committed many errors but-“

“BUT NOTHING, CORIOLANUS.” You spit out with such anger, that makes him frown.

“You violated the trust, loyalty, respect and love we had for each other. You dissapear after making me have a damn breakdown. Only to go after that girl. And now you appear trying to mend things?” You won’t tell him about his denied petition and what you did. You just want to share all you couldn’t before at his face.

“Do you know how many doctor appointments I’ve had since you left?” He looks down.

“Twelve. And I have to swallow four different pills every day. Only to stay sane. And who’s fault it is? The hunger games, the galas, dancing, Lucy Gray Baird. But specially, you” when he looks up at you again, you are crying.

“If you really want to be here for me, you need to stay away and leave me alone.” You finall state, looking at his blue eyes one last time, before standing from the bench and walking away.

That wasn’t your day. Neither the following ones. Your pointe shoes died and your size was out of stock. The food took such a long time. Your parents left to have an audience in District 1 and your evening was to listen to music and cry.

But certainly what broke you once again was a phone call.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Y/n?”

“Tigris?” You ask. Her voice sounding worried.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Is everything okay? You sound alarmed, dear” you are able to hear her sighing.

“It’s Grandma’am. She’s sick. Coriolanus is busy at the Univeristy and the doctor I requested hasn’t appeared” your heart beats faster.

“She has a strong fever and it’s been like that for hours.” She adds, finally sounding more worried.

“Tigris, calm down. I’ll call my cousin, he’s one of the most prepared doctors around. I’m going there with you in the meantime” you reassure her, already taking off your nightgown and taking out a dress and coat from your closet.

“Thank you, y/n. I truly appreciate this, thank you.” You hang up after saying everything was going to be okay.

…

You see how changed is the penthouse. Fully renovated, with bright lights that contrasted the dark blue wallpapers. But you find interesting how the olive paint you brought is still there. And your portrait from the day of your eighteen birthday is still with the family pictures.

You wait outside the room of the elder woman, as your cousin is checking Grandma’am. You have to hold the urge from biting your nails. A maid offers you posca, but you can’t think about drinking at the time.

The front doors opens and seconds later, Coriolanus is there. He seems surprised to see you there. Since the day of your argument, he hadn’t see you. He tried calling you but your butler said you were out for the weekend to your grandparents house.

“Y/n?” He asks, dropping his coat on a chair.

“Tigris called me. She wanted a doctor for your grandmother” he worried a bit.

“Is she not feeling better. When I left she seemed better…” he says hurrying to go to her room, but you stop him, grabbing by his forearm.

“Don’t. My cousin is already there with her. I’m waiting for the results” Coriolanus only stares at you. He wants to smile. You came only to help his family once again.

“You look very lovely” you smirk, looking at his window with your arms crossed.

“Really? Your grandmother is sick and you are here saying how lovely I look today?” He smiles.

“You told me to wait. What else can I do?”

“How cynical of you” you respond coldly. After all you told him, he was acting like it never happened.

The door of the room opened and Tigris came out with your cousin.

He revealed Grandma’am was having a little difficulties in her lungs, which made her prone to catch a flu. He gave her some strong medicines and promised it would be fine with some days of resting.

After some minutes, you are also ready to leave.

You say good night to the Snow cousins and leave.

“Y/n. Wait…” Tigris comes out. Stopping you some feet away of the now working elevator.

“I-… Thank you.” She slowly says hugging you.

“It’s nothing, Tigris. I told Coriolanus once I would always help the people I love” Tigris suddenly feels so sad to hear you say that. She really hoped you and her little cousin had a different ending.

“He still loves you so much.” You fight harder against the tears when she says that.

“I know. And I still love him too. But… he never apologized. And I’m not ready to let go my resentment towards him.” You admit looking away.

“Although things did’t work out for you and Coriolanus, I really appreciate and care for you, y/n” se almost whispers in your ear. And your eyes water.

“I feel the same, Tigris. I really do” you reply slowly, controlling your voice to not sound cracked.

“I’ll come back in some days” she nods.

She lets you go and you finally head out. Not noticing that Coriolanus heard everything.

He never apologized.

That night, you are reading on the living room when your butler walks in.

“Coriolanus Snow is asking for you in the telephone” you thank him, walking bare feet towards the kitchen telephone.

“Yes, Mr. Snow?” You ask.

“I just wanted to thank you for coming today. You didn’t have to and yet you appeared here” you sigh.

“Whatever that happened between us has nothing to do with my relationship with Tigris and your mother” now he sighs, from his office, in complete darkness.

“About that y/n…” your hands go numb, and panic floods you.

“You don’t know how much I’m-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, cracked voice and you hang up.

“Sorry” he says through the dead line.

That night, you read his letters. The ones he sent when he was a peacekeeper at the 12. Where he seemed to have projected his more vulnerable and emotional side of his heart. Maybe he had been drunk, maybe Lucy Gray wrote them for him. You’d never know, and you preferred to ignore the idea of him actually feeling sorry.

…

A week later you’re applauding for Grandma’am as she sings for you. You smile, changing her pillow case and complementing how much of a sweet voice she had.

It’s getting late, and you must return to your house.

After wishing Grandma’am sweet dreams, you carefully close her door and you walk with the old pillow case away.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Tigris asks with a sweet smile, taking the pillow case from you. Coriolanus is seated, drinking something as he carefully looks at you. You ignore him.

“I must decline, dear. I have to go back and pack some things” she frowns, stopping to put some plates on the dinning table.

“Pack?”

“Yes. I think I’ll spend the holidays at District 1. My mother is opening a new studio and she’s going to need help. And well, if everything goes right, I might even stay there” Tigris almost drops the pillow case. And Coriolanus almost chokes on his drink.

“What? Why?. What about university? The galas? Your production job for the hunger games” you shrug with an honest smile.

“Lately the Capitol life has... it has been a burden. I want to live a peaceful life. I want to heal” Tigris sends daggers with her eyes to Coriolanus. He coughs, uncomfortable.

“CORIOLANUS!” Grandma’am calls the man, you only sigh. And slowly, he stands up to to the woman. He hears you keep talking with Tigris. And he wants to do something to stop you from leaving. Now he can give you the life he couldn’t before.

“Is everything alright, Grandma’am?” The elder woman looks at him from her bed.

“Are you really letting that young woman to walk away again?” Coriolanus frowns.

“What?”

“You’ve heard me.” Even in her sick days, she was firm.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Grandma’am shrugs.

“I don’t think so. Her eyes shine sadly at every mention of you. She was part of the family after all.” Coriolanus remains quiet. But he admits to himself that’s what he missed the most.

“I think she always waited for an apology. One that never came.” His heart pounds very fast. He tried, and you hung up.

“What do you suggest me to do?” Grandma’am smiles, coughing tiredly.

“You run to wherever she goes and beg on your knees. One time you show her vulnerability and you’ll never do it again. We, women, only want real love, stupid love. You show her that stupid love once and you can silently do it for the rest of your again”

“You already won the money and respect. You’re just missing out the girl” Coriolanus sweats, but when he turns to look at her grandmother again, she nods, reassuring him.

“Go. Get her back, Coriolanus” without saying anything back, he leaves.

When he enters the dinning room, he only sees two plates of food. He looks at Tigris confused.

“Where’s y/n?” She shrugs, taking a seat.

“She just left.”

Coriolanus runs. He actually runs out of his penthouse and when the elevator starts taking to much time, he decided to choose the stairs as his getaway. He feels sweaty and agitated, but as he goes down, he can’t help but feel slightly happy, the adrenaline of making it on time make him hurry.

“Y/N!” He yells your name once he makes it to the lobby, where he can see you turning back to see him.

You are waiting for Trevor when he appears running towards you.

And before you can even blink or breathe, he gets on his knees.

“Coriolanus Snow. What are you doing?” You ask confused and blushed.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“I’m sorry about all the stupid things I did. I’m sorry about letting you down. I’m sorry for ruining our relationship. For letting you in that hospital bed and return to do everyhting but apologize to you” you look at him perplexed, not believing his words.

“I can’t lose you again. Because I know you’re the last and only person I’ll love. I won’t trust anyone else. And nobody would have ever looked down at me like you did when I had nothing” you sigh, feeling the tears coming again. You know he’s not lying. You knew him so well that you sense it.

“If you let me. To give me another chance, I’ll do things right. I will never fail you again in life. You’ll be the only person I’ll cherish and show love.” He offers you his hand, and he looks very suppliant.

You blink quickly to soothe the tears. And you know he doesnt deserve you. But aren’t the best person, so maybe you two were actually meant to be together.and that’s the only viable reason to why you want to let your heart freely beat for him again.

“Please don’t go, y/n” he whispers, waiting for your answer. You sigh, slowly and shaking, but you end up taking his hand.

“You’ll better be the most perfect lover of the history of Panem, then” he wraps your fingers together, and stands up.

“I promise, I swear” he knows the memory of Lucy Gray would always follow him. As well of all the deaths he had caused. But nothing compared to the joy of him kissing you again.

Your lips welcome him in the most sweet way. And he finds himself smiling through the kiss, gently holding you closer to him.

It’s in the start of the Road of Hope in the Capitol where Coriolanus Snow had his fully owned penthouse. Where he had nothing, and now had won everything.

…

Time flies, things had changed, probably for the better. You made Coriolanus keep fighting for a good and healthy relationship. Slowly, he made you completely fall in love again. And although there was certain spark missing, you knew it would never come back. However, you had also accepted that both of you had grown up.

The late talks were mature now. Talking about the future of Panem, planning dinners together. The kisses were more passionate, unlike the softness that was all over your early relationship. The sex was harder rather than slow and sweet like the beginning. Coriolanus would like to leave many hickeys scattered across your body, make a wet mess of saliva and fluids. He loved feelings your almond nails leave gentle scratches across his pale back.

But certainly, the biggest change was the way you two were handling a life together.

After turning twenty, you got married. Soon Coriolanus bought the house he always wished to give you. The one with black and white tiles floor, beige walls and big stairs.

By the first week in, he had done many refurbishments and he had fucked you in every room, every corner and every surface of the house.

Till the day you turned twenty-two. By that time, you had almost ditched your dancing career. Sometimes you still had some chances to perform on galas. But Coriolanus convinced you to focus on public services and the production of the hunger games. Dr. Gaul had officially retired, and it was going to be the first year of Coriolanus as a game maker. Things had really changed.

But everything seemed fine.

“Dear, Are you ready?” You turn to look at your husband, who waits on the frame of the door.

“Just one moment” you run to slip into your silver heels before grabbing your purse.

Trevor kept his job as your chauffeur and Millie was now your private secretary. Sometimes you hated how formal your life had become. Especially now that Coriolanus had some plans in mind.

As soon as you arrive to the fancy patio from a million-dollar man house, many women eye you and Coriolanus.

“Remind me what are we doing here?” You ask him. He holds your hand tightly, smiling at many of the invited people.

“I’m assuming the role of game maker. You are giving a speech about the improvements for the 14th Hunger Games, my dear” you nod, clutching onto his cold hand harder. Both of you were kind of the sensation around the Capitol. You know how they whisper about your dress and your husband’s physic.

“You’re going to be fine. You always choose the right words. And your voice can charm anyone here” he whispers on your ear, pressing a soft kiss on your temple.

“Thank goddess I’ve been studying the constitution. Or else these men would bury me” Coriolanus laughs. Soon you enter the actual event. With long white tables, candles and everyone dressed either on red or black.

“Men around here don’t know how smart my wife is” he says shrugging, remembering how many honors you received from university. Some of the wives ask you to join them. You wave hello to them before leaning to your man.

“Do not make me jealous or leave me alone during the speech.” You firmly say to him.

“Of course not, my love”

“Love you.” And with one last kiss, you walk away.

For the rest of the night. You feel uneasy. Because you succeeded with the speech. But once you read the part from Coriolanus, you are at the verge of babbling.

He shared some of his initial proposals for the games. Like lowering the age of the tributes, increasing the obstacles in the arena, using more mutts, allowing weapons, and making the interviews with Lucky Flickerman longer.

It had been a long time since you think about the games so much. But that guilt you felt after seeing Coriolanus as mentor, never left. And after that dinner, everyone claps for your husband and you, after being considered as the couple of the next generation for Panem.

In the privacy of your new home, you constantly zone out to think about it. You can’t ask Coriolanus to stop the games, but he could make some changes.

You knock swiftly on his door.

“Come in.” You walk in and he drops the papers he was signing to smile at the sight of you.

“Hello, you.” he says cheekily.

“Hello, you’.” You reply. He indicates you to seat on his lap and you do so. His arms lock around you, hands resting on your back.

“Are you coming to bed anytime soon?” You ask.

“I just need to sign some things, darling” he watches you frown, and he won’t say you look older, because you don’t. But you certainly look wiser, mature and more like a woman rather than a girl.

“I’ve been thinking about the games” He’s all ears now. He knows you had some specific opinions. You had said in your first interview how brutal the games were.

“What about them?”

“I would never ask you to stop the games. But…” you stop, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

“But what, my dear?”

“Don’t you think those tributes are humans? Yes, the Districts deserve to be reminded of the consequences of their acts. But most of the tributes are kids. Who don’t even understand everything that conveys a war.” Coriolanus sighs, trying to choose the correct words to answer you.

“What are you suggesting?” He tries to sound calm, but the mere subject makes him a little irritated.

“I don’t know… Maybe giving them more opportunities?” He giggles, caressing the skin on your hips.

“Giving them opportunities means going soft on them. And going soft on them could trigger a new rebellion” this time you sigh, trying to persuade him by brushing his hair, softly grasping his chin.

“Not like that, Coryo. I mean… raising the majority age of the tributes. Giving them at least the chance to train. To eat a proper meal on the last night. To show who they are one last time before they’re sent to die” Coriolanus would always believe that you’re only one weakness was your humanity. How you always turned to see down on others, feeling guilty from being born with all the commodities.

So, he tries to ignore it. He tries to see your suggestions as a way to punish the tributes harder. Give them everything to then killing them.

So, he smiles, urging you to kiss him. You reply immediately, holding him closer to feel the heated proximity.

“I could arrange some changes. Would that make you feel better?” You nod on his lips, smiling.

“Now let me finish this before meeting you in bed. And I expect you have this thing off before I get there” he says grabbing your nightgown. You laugh with a potent blush, gently pushing him away.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly. In two days, we start the tour, we will be very tired to make love daily as we do now” you roll your eyes, almost running away ad your husband laughs, making fun of your embarrassment.

“This is madness. I’m going to bed” you say getting out of his office.

“Don’t forget about what I said!” He yells, making you smile in love as you leave upstairs, wishing good night to the maids and butler. For the record, you do not forget about your husband’s petition.

…

The best part of the house is the rooftop in your opinion. A terrace with cristal walls and ceilings that had a gorgeous view of the Capitol. A view that included some monuments and the snowy mountains surrounding the city.

You had a little bar there, an eccentric dining table and some couches with colorful cushions.

Grandma’am made you take some of his roses so you could start your own garden. That brought tears to your eyes. But now, it was only you and Tigris there.

You asked the chef to make some vegetables and creams as your sister-in-law arrived for dinner. Coriolanus and you were set to leave the next morning for his political campaign tour.

“Have you packed everything?” Tigris asks.

“Yes. I wish I could take Trevor with me. But only Millie will be able to come” you say smiling. Tigris notices how you constantly look at the door, hoping to see Coriolanus entering.

“Have you told him?” You shake your head at the woman.

“Not yet. Probably by the time we arrive District 4. We have good memories from there” Tigris smiles. She was really excited when you got back together with Coriolanus. She even made your wedding dress. And now she was so proud of the career you two were making.

“Sorry for the delay. I was arguing with some incompetent who cancelled the delivery of our new chandeliers” Tigris rolls her eyes as your husband cheekily smiles.

“Dinner isn’t ready yet, anyways” you say patting his back as he takes a seat beside you.

“You shouldn’t be stressing over the tour. Your dear wife must’ve prepared the most wonderful speeches for you to say” Coriolanus smiles, turning to give you a peck on the nose, making you laugh.

“It’s not that, Tigris. It’s the time that’s freaking me out. I don’t want to be gone for almost two months.” You sigh, trying to keep everything together. You just pray that the tour goes smoothly.

“Each district will host you with all commodities” it’s a lie. Coriolanus isn’t ready to go to District 12 again. Where his father died, where he committed the worst decisions of his early life. He knows those days will be a little sour. But he’s willing to play pretend very well for you.

“It’s going to be fine. Pardon me, dear” Coriolanus says after seeing your face of over thinking. His wife is so smart that she’s probably wondering the same as him. And that’s the least he needs of.

You take his hand, before hearing the food has arrived. The air changes, the dinner flows happily as you talk and gossip with Tigris and your husband. It’s a great dinner actually.

Maybe he broke your heart when you were teenagers. But you delayed his political campaign for four years. Maybe he had looked too much at Lucy Gray Baird, but at the end it would only be you.

You could’ve done better to get rid of that guilt for participating in the hunger games, but you just realize that maybe you didn’t because you are not a good person either.

Even so, every morning, you wake up in his arms as he fulfilled his promise of never failing you again.

You just hope that the tour, the upcoming games and everything else doesn’t get into your way. Nothing can be a bother. Not when Coriolanus Snow’s first child rests peacefully in your womb.

The future was uncertain. But your past and present along him always seemed like… a hatred road.

_____________________________________________

fyi, in my head, if reader hadn’t delayed Coriolanus political emergence, the second rebellion would’ve started earlier and probably it wouldn’t have been successful. (Basically it would’ve been like a second time “dark days” situation and then back to reconstruction again)

Taglist: @dear-bunnyboo @daydreamerprocrastinator @lecrercsgirlshhs @athanasia-day @devils-blackrose @reader-bookling123 @cookielovesbook-akie @justacaliforniandreamer @m1ndbrand @blairfox04 @darktrashsoulbear @fartybobabutt @diannana @iwantosleep @sarysuniverse @unclecrunkle @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @didneyworld13 @imguce @angelscrime @impeterporker @lem122 @cryaka @ietss @michelleisheres-blog @capsiclesworldsblog @circe143

[campfam4lyfe]

Got any campfam aus or ideas in the works?

hey anon! I wouldn’t say I have any ideas in the works, because I have what I like to call commitment issues when it comes to writing fic.

This means that while I have an abundance of ideas, outlines, and wips in my Google docs for the fandoms I’ve been in. I’ve never actually finished a fic and posted it.

In fact, the only single time I have, (diff fandom!) I am not counting properly, because it was a collab with a close mutual, and a lot of the legwork was them. I had the initial plot bunny and was going to leave it as a one off tumblr post, but my mutual rlly liked the idea and we bounced drabbles and such back and forth. We wrote a bunch of snippets and put them together in a doc, until we had cohesive chapters, as we filled the empty spaces with more and more work, ending up to a total of 18 chapters. It took us a year and a half to post it, and that was mostly my fault, as where my mutual had finished most of their allotted sections, different hyperfixations kept pulling me to other unfinished works. This is why I won’t promise anything—I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

But, that being said. I do have ideas, hcs, and aus! One that is currently consuming me, was actually inspired by this one other post I saw recently. (When I find the post ima link it dw!) OP of the post was saying that there should be a Carmen Sandiego au for CC and I jumped on that SO fucking fast anon. I LOVE Carmen Sandiego, and have since it first aired when I was in HS.

So. Here’s some of the Carmen Sandiego au thoughts copy/pasted from my Google docs. (Yes I do always write out my outlines as if I’m taking to someone but that’s bc i sometimes end up sharing the doc link with some friends)

JWCC Carmen Sandiego AU:

Y’all know Kenlynn is my JAM and so is RedCrackle. So obvi I thought of mixing the two right? But here’s the thing. While I love Carmen/Gray, I am also in love with Carmen/Ivy and Carmen/Julia.

So with that in mind. Kenlynn is going to take a backseat for a second (meaning tho they'll become a thing and obvi they will bc they are a constant to me, theyre not the center of this), and my fave girls YASAMMY will be at the forefront of this au.

I’m thinking. Carmen Sammy. But I’m not entirely sure about whether or not that’s what I want? It could be argued that Sammy’s love for her family is a core driving force in her character, and Carmen doesn’t KNOW her family. But also—a huge plot point is that she’s looking for her mom. So. Tentative Carmen Sammy.

MANTAH CORP AS VILE MANTAH CORP AS V.I.L.E MANTAH CORP AS V.I.L.E

So I figure not everything is going to be one-to-one. This means I am placing Kenji in the role of Gray/Crackle. His story is going to be different tho, bc whereas Gray was a recruit, with MANTAH CORP AS V.I.L.E that means Daniel is already on the board. So kenji trying to make his dad proud? More likely than you think.

(I just wanted my Sammy&Kenji besties. Bestie betrayal can be just as good as romantic betrayal)

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this if we’re not going the redcrackle route. Thats right. YASMINA JULIA.

I considered at first, YASMINA CARMEN and SAMMY IVY, but in the end the need for Sammy Carmen was too great.

So I also considered Dave and Roxxie as Chase and Julia but, I decided to scrap that idea for now. You know me, at some point I might revamp most of the au anyways lol, now is not a time for fine tuning it’s just a tentative starting point.

Torn between DARIUS as Player or Brooklynn as Player. I considered Ben of course, but I think we need to put him on an island at some point—he needs a Bumpy, no matter the universe.

WAIT. REVISITING BEN AS PLAYER. BECAUSE DARIUS AND BRAND AS ZACK AND IVY. This means no Carmen/Ivy vibes but since we ditched the Gray/Carmen as well in this au I think it’s fine.

Ben still has to end up with Bumpy somehow tho? Original Ben plan, when Darius was a Player candidate, was Ben is also a V.I.L.E recruit.

V.I.L.E having a faction that deals with genetics and cloning (in addition to like. Kash and his robots) and ending up with a dinosaur—Bumpy! And that being Ben’s flip to the other side/Team Sammy. He defects and steals Bumpy on his way out.

Okay I’m a little too attached to that, so yeah. V.I.L.E recruit Ben, so Brooklynn as player??

Oh! She doesn’t have!!! IRL friends!! Brooklynn being an Internet famous vlogger as in canon. So we get that running gag of Sammy and Brooklynn always being in contact and Brooklynn being a big part of the heists through investigative work and such, yet she’s constantly on the other side of the globe? Sammy needs to be in Sydney but Brooklynn is in New Orleans. That kinda stuff.

Works with Brooklynn having traveled all over the world, she can also do those factoids player does—she’s got the deets.

Oh!???? THATS HOW WE GET MY FAVE DUO OF DINOSTAR BESTIES!!! They both love their facts. They’re nerds.

Mae as shadowsan? Tentatively?

Okay. Player Brooklynn. Except instead of being home most of the time, she’s usually on the go. She’s talked to kenji a few times during Sammy and Kenji’s V.I.L.E recruit era.

Kenji as the Gray of this au. he’s a V.I.L.E legacy. he became friends with sammy his recruitment year, and he'd talked to brooklynn a few times, due to sammy introducing them because kenji was curious about whether or not sammy has friends in the outside world, and sammy noticing brooklynn feeling a little left out/jealous that sammy had friends she was hanging with in person rather than over a phone call.

kenlynn kenlynn kenlynn

does he recognize her voice from her vlogs? does he even watch them? i dont think hed be a brooklander, guys got a lot on his plate and thats impressing his dad

ben is a V.I.L.E. recruit. maybe a bit of mime bomb, in that he was. not as close? with the other recruits. i do think having ben come in as a recruit the year sammy defects would be cool tho. so he doesn't know her as "black sheep" or whatever code name V.I.L.E refers to her as. he'll first meet her as Sammy.

yaz as JULIA!!!!! a junior agent? a former athlete. trying to make it make sense, but i think it fits.

omg. yaz. is alex rider basically holy shit

was thinking of dave as chase, and decided that i was going to keep it.

roxxie as the Chief.

mae as shadowsan.

yes. it IS because i want a roxxie/mae/dave love triangle and that need's final form was ot3

DARIUS AND BRAND AS ZACK AND IVY. i dont want their mom to be dead. but i dont know WHAT happened to her and why theyre involved in this life of crime? i love the og carmen&ivy&zack meeting. and i love that they were involved with racing. trying to find a way to incorporate it and make it make sense

important question.....is darius and his dad's great shared love still dinosaurs?

OR IS IT CARS? RACING?????? BRAND BEING INVOLVED IN THE RACES BC IT WAS IMPORTANT TO DARIUS AND THEIR DAD AND DARIUS CANT DRIVE YET

AND. SAMMY. AS CARMEN!!!!!!

okay so carmen's dad was a former V.I.L.E. agent who left it all behind for the woman he fell in love with right? well. obvi this au isnt a one to one. like there clearly have been changes in characters and dynamics. but i think involving elements from this could work. lemme map it out to make sense

okay so in cc sammy spies for mantah corp despite her parents not wanting her to. meanwhie carmen's dad defects from V.I.L.E., i think shadowsan was there and so was the chief and he dies.

okay so--sammy's dad was a V.I.L.E. agent, fell in love, defected. V.I.L.E. catches up with him, and does A.C.M.E. and in the fallout, the house collapses. A fire? an explosion? they think sammy died. (im not killing off sammy's dad bc damnit she needs a happy ending)

yaz losing faith in the system and having her hot girl summer being romanced by the pretty thief she's supposed to be catching

ben ditches VILE/Mantah Corp with Bumpy and meets Darius at some point--oh!!!

mae/shadowsan joins Team Sammy at the end of s1 i think? okay, so, when she joins, she brings ben, a fresh defector with her.

obvi ben left after he stole bumpy from them

at some point during their occasional talks, kenlynn became friendly with each other. then The Train scene happens. and kenji is promptly deemed a disappointment and dealt with the way gray is.

brooklynn ends up coming across a memory-wiped kenji during one of her vlogs. he doesnt know he knows her, just that something about her voice seems familiar.

brooklynn brings it up and the other are Concerned but also have a lot on their plate rn/dont truly trust him again or are unclear on whether or not they should. darius/brand bc their experiences havent been good so far, and sammy doesnt want to risk them. but he was still one of her first friends. shes torn

brooklynn making contact with him. smth smth she ends up needing a camera man for one of her vlogs and kenji volunteers. they grow closer during her sporadic visits. he asks her out.

DANIEL KON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. SAMMY NEEDS BROOKLYNN TO DO HER THING. SHE MISSES THE DATE.

Meanwhile, that entire interactive ep??? of carmen sandiego with the julia/carmen??? THAT. THAT HAPPENS. YASAMMY DANCE AND WE GET THAT SCENE YOU KNOW THE ONE

[ruru-me]

Wait whats the time line? Hertha left when Strade died to find Ren or??

Did Strade die???

I’m confused 😭😭😭

Hey anon

I know it sounds confusing but I promise it makes sense (I hope so)

Yes strade died in this timeline, and there are two possible endings to this but I'll just explain the one I'm working on at the moment (this one is like the bad ending of hertha's life lol)

Strade dies --> hertha was between 6-8 years old and ren 22-24

.

.

Ren kept hertha, and in this timeline he never met lawrence, only the MC and this leads up to the ending where he kills them and from there on everything goes down the tpof route

.

.

Ren and hertha work together with the whole human tra//ff//icking scheme and streams, Ren is known as fox and hertha (when she appears in streams) is called sombra (or shadow in English, I haven't decided on this name yet so maybe it will change in the future idk)

Edit: And no ren didn't run away when strade died, he couldn't leave hertha alone and there was the whole thing about him feeling something for his abuser so bro just took off the shock collar but stayed stuck in that house for a while, it didn't help that now he also had to look after strade's daughter who lost her mother because of ren.

Its just a quickly summary of the whole history

Hope it helps

[goosewriting]

Hi!! Hope you're doing good, this is for the prompt request, raph with number 10 on color blue (miscellaneous), where reader lives near where the turtles live (not in the sewers lol), and everytime he goes on a mission or just walk close to their house, he starts to crush on them, so when his brothers found out they try to perform a date, but since raph is some shy, it doesn't go as planned (even that reader is really charmed by raph personality and in some time they start to crush on raph too and more time later they start a relationship), sorry if is really long, just some fluff for the raph boi <33, I really love your writing and i hope you do good, thanks for your time and also that if you don't feel like doing this you can pass for it, don't worry :)) (forgot to mention thst this is situated after the kraang situation so reader don't get a little freaked out about raph)

A very special mission (rottmnt Raph x reader)

prompt 10: "Abort mission, I repeat abort mission.” “What? Abort what mission? All you were doing was introducing yourself to your neighbor?” “Yeah, and they’re too attractive. I can never speak to them again.”

summary: Raph gets a crush on reader and April sets up a meeting.

relationship: Rise!Raph x GN reader

warnings: none, fluff!

word count: ~910

A/N: i have to admit this one was one of the more difficult ones for me, it’s been in my wips for so long! i ended up changing the dialogue slightly to fit the scenario better. hope you still like it!!<3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

It had been around 3 weeks since the Krang invasion and the city was recovering slowly but surely. Many buildings that had been destroyed by the aliens were almost done being rebuilt. With every day that passed there were less and less construction sites and scaffoldings to be seen.

After the invasion, the everyday routine resumed fairly quickly. You kept going to class and your part-time job as always. But lately you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched. You tried to shrug it off and went on your way.

Above you on a roof, from within the shadows, a certain ninja was keeping an eye on you.

Raph had been watching you for some time now. Because of the repairs after New York’s partial destruction, the turtle brothers had to change their patrol route, and that’s when he had spotted you talking to your friends on the street.

It had been like love at first sight for Raph. Ever since seeing you that day, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even after the repairs were done and he could have gone back to their normal route, he’d always make a quick escapade to your street, hoping to see you.

One night he was escorting you home from afar (unbeknownst to you) after work, and you ran into April on the street. You two greeted each other like you were friends and had a quick chat, then went along your way.

The next day, Raph basically interrogated April about you. It turned out you had actually been friends for a long time, but you had moved away for some years, and now came back. She just hadn’t had the time to catch up with you yet and introduce everyone.

Hearing this, and knowing that Raph had a massive crush on you, the other turtles all but begged April to set you up with him somehow. It didn’t take much convincing at all, because she was actually planning on doing so sooner or later. She was convinced you’d get along really well, with all of them.

So when April asked you if you were up to meeting a friend of hers, you said yes. You were kinda intrigued at how mysterious everything was about the meet-up. She wouldn’t tell you much about this person other than his and his brothers’ names, and that he was a really good guy.

You were told to wait on a street that wasn’t busy at night-time. If April hadn’t been there waiting with you, you would have had second thoughts about meeting a stranger in a deserted place like this. But she was confident that you’d like her friend, so you waited expectantly.

The turtles were waiting on a rooftop across the street, and Raph was half-way down the fire escapes when he suddenly stopped. He clenched and unclenched his fists in annoyance at himself, trying to calm down his pounding heart. Isn’t this what he had been waiting for for weeks? To finally meet you face to face and talk to you? All his pining came down to a boil within him, evaporating immediately, leaving him only with uncertainty.

Looking around, you turned to look at either side of the road, your form illuminated by a streetlamp. Raph’s breath hitched when he noticed that you had actually chosen a nice outfit to come out here; it wasn’t your usual clothes you wore to go to work and back.

You had dressed up for him and he was too much of a coward to go say hello.

With a groan, he buried his face into his hands.

April was starting to wonder why Raph was taking so long. She gave you an apologetic look and was about to contact him with her turtle comm, when it beeped in her pocket.

"Abort mission, I repeat abort mission” came a voice through the device.

“What? Abort what mission, Raph?” said someone else. “All you were gonna do was introduce yourself to April’s friend?”

“Yeah Leo, and they’re too attractive. I’ll never be able to speak to them.”

What Raph had forgotten was that April was also connected to their call, so you had heard everything.

Heat rised to your cheeks at Raph’s comment. But you did like his voice, it was kind. So with a sudden burst of confidence, you took April’s device from her hands just as she was about to reply (probably reprimanding him about leaving you out here when he wouldn’t even show up).

“C’mon Raph” you called to him, then switched to a more flirtatious tone. “Let me see you… I don’t bite.”

You heard a clatter somewhere on the building near you, where Raph was holding onto the railing for dear life after almost falling down, face as red as his bandana.

– – –

Bonus: (a couple of weeks later, after you two started dating)

“Hey, remember when you were too scared to come meet me for the first time that night?” you asked Raph with a playful tone, lightly jabbing your elbow into his side.

“Ugh, yes” he responded, looking to the side for a second with flushed cheeks. “I was scared out of my shell to be honest… I still don't entirely understand how I managed to snatch you but I'm glad I did.”

You merely smirked at him. He sighed.

“You’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

“Heh, nope” you said, leaning up to place a smooch on the tip of this beak.

[bluerosesonata]

I played and finished Slay the Princess last night while I was puppy sitting. I had such a great time. She’s my scary wife now.

Spoilers + more detailed thoughts below the cut, but without spoilers:

[points at devs] haha horror podcast fans

I’ve always loved Nicole Goodnight from her first appearances on Nosleep. she did so excellent as the Princess.

Very impressive scope, even with the very definitive ending I got, I came away from the game feeling like there were still paths I hadn’t seen.

Just as a general tone setter, I love the opening card/disclaimer that ends with “This Is A Love Story.”

GREAT visual style and art. I’ll get into this in my breakdown below, but with my amateur eye I love how they took a non-traditional approach to way the images/characters are displayed in a renpy game

INCREDIBLE music.

Hard to avoid Disco Elysium comparisons with the aspects of the Self mechanic, which I’m sure is either a received as a high compliment or is a source of annoyance for the devs, lol

Highly recommend it for OELVN fans, horror fans, and lesbians.

First and foremost, I’m genuinely very impressed at the amount of variety to the paths.

On my first playthrough, I got on a loop where I kept the princess locked up, and then she came upstairs and killed me. The next loop, The Paranoid showed up, and when we went into the basement, it was all spooky and distorted. In this one, we had some great banter with The Princess before I ultimately decided to slay her, and trapped me in the basement by warping reality and removing the stairs, forcing me to kill myself to escape that loop. The Cold showed up in chapter 3, and I think that was when I tried to leave the woods.

In subsequent loops, even when choosing all the choices I made to the best of my memory, I couldn’t recreate that first loop at all. It really speaks to the scope of the game in an impressive way.

The first vessel I managed to provide was The Tower. (It was the outcome of being mauled on your first encounter with her, then perceiving her as a dominating, inevitable force.) After discovering my new objective, the endings I saw were The Prisoner (It’s the ending where you just wait for the cell to rot away around you), The Razor (GOATED route, I will be calling her ‘Knife Wife,’), The Damsel, and ended with The Adversary (devil horns), before reaching Awakening.

These are the only routes I can talk about, but I’m certain there were at least 2 I missed/didn’t get to see. It’s an EXTREMELY impressive scope, and fully voiced, to boot, so my hat is off to the devs on that front.

(The next few paragraphs are about the voice acting, if you want my story thoughts, I made a small heading for that bc my VA thoughts got a bit out of hand lol)

Voice Acting

While I’m on the subject of the game being fully voiced: Nicole’s voice acting really shines here, and it’s absolutely essential to making this game what it was. I think a version of this game without it would be very Good, but not nearly as Haunting. The sheer variety of reads on certain lines based on how you first approach the princess is incredibly impressive, as well. (Again— scope!!!)

As far as the narrator VO goes, i can’t deny that Jonathan did a great job, and with his history of being the main narrator for The Magnus Archives, he was a good fit for the tone and audience of the game. I would even posit that, even if there were other people who were considered in the early phases of development, the cross-promotional potential of drawing in even a small section of an audience already primed for cosmic, reality-altering horror via TMA was a very smart business decision, and I applaud them for it. That being said, I think one unintended side effect of his casting may be that people familiar with his TMA character (a…semi-reliable narrator) might immediately come in primed with doubts about the Narrator. They seem to have anticipated this, though, and included skeptical and suspicious dialogue choices with him right off the bat in the first chapter, which is fun.

(A brief aside: If it seems like I am being very measured with my thoughts on the Narrator, it is not because I have anything negative to say about his performance. I am being measured simply because the narrative devices the game employs makes it impossible to not draw comparisons to Big Hitters like The Stanley Parable and Disco Elysium— both incredible games that I personally would be both delighted and terrified to be brought up when discussing a game I created or a role I was playing.

These games did not Create the idea of “a narrator you interact with and who is sometimes rude to you” or “multiple voices with distinct Traits butting in on your current predicament,” but both games are incredibly prolific in how implemented those devices and the vocal performances involved….so it is not a fair comparison.)

Story Thoughts

The subtitle for this section could also be “Faron ranks how hot they find all of the versions of The Princess.” jk.

I am not going to do summaries here I’m just going to assume most people reading this have played the game.

But let’s start again with the sentence at the beginning of the game: “This is a love story.”

Not long ago, there was a big discussion on tumblr about the statement that horror is “about love”, (it might have even been spurred on by TMA, lol) and that lead to a lot of justified (but not always kind) posts from my fellow horror fans being annoyed by that take. I’ll spare you a rehash of all of that. But it is exactly Because of that discourse (and my general gothic preferences) that I like the choice to open with this a whole lot. The phrase “This is a love story,” written in bold, at the end of a disclaimer saying ‘there are no wrong choices, just different paths,’ has an immense power to it. It is a mic drop way to open up a story, as a way to prime the audience to be open to the Princess as more than a monster, and creates the anticipation for a greater relationship to be uncovered between the protagonist and the princess.

It could also be that the phrase hit my brain in a weird way because of Fata Morgana. I don’t think The House in Fata Morgana had a similar line in the actual game— but my roommate who handed me Fata Morgana very specifically told me, “it is a horror game, and it is a tragedy, but at its core, It Is a Love Story.” And that’s always stuck with me. (I digress.)

A Brief Address to Loops and the Popularity of the Looping Narrative

I could sit here all day and talk to you guys about looping metanarrative structure and the different approaches to it, but you’ve probably all played a VN with that before. (If you haven’t, and this is your first time encountering something like this and it blew your mind…Go play Zero Escape: 999. Run, don’t walk.)

I believe very strongly that reviews should be about what a game Is, and how well it accomplished what it aims to be, not about what you wish the game was. But it is an even stronger opinion of mine that loop narratives, especially in visual novels, can sometimes get too bogged down in the details of “why am i in a time loop.”

I am extremely glad that this game (mostly) avoided this, bc it offers an opportunity to say something about the subgenre as a whole.

At the end of the day, looping narratives mainly exist as a metanarrative device in VNs to acknowledge and offer a reason why your character’s behavior (and/or your choices) change. It’s an easy way to create ludonarrative harmony, and to inject some extra drama with little extra effort.

But BECAUSE it’s easy, it can also feel Extremely Overused, and starts to become an expectation.

I won’t go on a soapbox about it, especially because I feel like this game handled it very well, and the looping, metanarrative aspect is suited to the themes and character subject matter of Beings Who Are Concepts, even if they Why doesn’t really satisfy. At the end of the day, this is a love story, and the why matters less than the feelings involved.

Specific Path Thoughts

All versions of the Princess are incredibly strong concepts, and the game is structured in a way that I very much would enjoy seeing how different people’s first loops influence their opinions on her. It’s got IMMENSE “streamability” in that regard.

Someone that encountered The Damsel version of the princess first would have an INCREDIBLY different experience than someone who encountered the Adversary first, which ties very neatly into the subject of the greater love story and can also generate some great post-play discussion.

I think, undoubtedly, the Aspects of the princess that made the biggest impressions on me were The Adversary (demon wife) and The Razor (Knife Wife). Part of this is due to the sheer length of their paths, as both of them take 3+ loops (correct me if I’m wrong) to reach the conclusion of their sections, whereas The Damsel, The Tower, and The Prisoner all only took 2. (See the next section for more on that). Thinking about it, every path was similar in the amount of sheer resources created for them (illustrations, animation), but these two create the illusion of having more than the others simply due to being the longest action sequences and loops in the game.

The Razor has an OUTSTANDING design, and the sequence to slay her would have been an incredible finale in its own right, as we get introduced to EVERY Aspect of ourselves as we die over and over again, even shoving the narrator out of the way so we can just jump to the cabin and fight her again, and the PC reasoning that “if there’s enough of Me, I might be able to overcome her”. For this reason, and because of the big knife skeleton body, I think that the Razor path is more Fun than the Adversary’s.

Flavor-wise, however, I feel like The Adversary is a much stronger character and narrative thread. A princess who doesn’t want to escape— she just wants a good fight. She wants you at your best, and she won’t have any less. That’s exactly the sort of character dynamic that really gets me going. I love single-minded women, and I love a main character who meets them on their level of crazy.

Both of these paths involve the Aspects of Self “The Hunted” and “The Stubborn,” and they are the aspects of the PC that by FAR have the most color to them (besides the lover, who is more of a buffoon.) I think they were my favorites.

That being said, I adored how exhausted the Narrator got during the Damsel path, and I thought there was a very quiet, profound power in the Prisoner version of the Princess. She had an austere, quiet pride to her, tinged with an undeniable sorrow.

I really do appreciate the variety of ways they provide for one to approach your dialogues with the Shifting Mound after every loop. They really create a lot of space for the player to decide how they feel about her. Even if it sort of bothered me that every time there was a choice to tell her you would slay her once it was all over, I appreciate the option being there. (And, again- the sheer amount of dialogue!! Sheesh!)

Lastly, the finale. It was incredible, going through all of the forms, reliving all of the choices you made. But this is the part that the amount of options started to detract from my experience.

Again- I love that they left a lot of space for people to decide how they feel. I like the amount of responses provided, and I get the impression they don’t change the final choice in any way, just the dialogue she says to get to it.

But it bothered me that there was an option to just…opt out of seeing every vessel, either by submitting to her or by killing her. I can’t see a world where anyone playing a finale like this would WANT to cut the big final movement short. It seems silly.

The payoff was worth it, though. It was a beautiful end and one that definitely will stick with me.

(And Obviously I decided to take her hand and remain endless with her! How could I not!)

Mechanical Musings

Note: I am a dabbler in Ren’Py, but I have been a dabbler for over a decade, and I went to college for game design. (You’re allowed to laugh) I’m not GOOD at programming, and I forget the class names for basically everything unless I’m looking at it.

All of this is all to say I am PURELY speculating on how certain parts of the game were accomplished.

UI/Display/Visuals

The choice to omit a typical text box was an objectively correct one for this game, in no small part to how they decided to do the visuals on this game. It kept the game looking clean and drew the eye to the stunning visuals. The right aligned prompt box similarly aided in that respect, and I think that being forced to scroll down to resist during certain tense sequences was a great touch. Makes me wonder if there’s a timed element on those responses.

The choice to eschew using typical talk sprites (outside of The Long Quiet scenes, the sequence with The Damsel, i thiiiiink the confrontation in the basement maze, and the finale) in favor of using scenes/displayed images really aided in the storybook vibes, and the animated loops they had on those images gave the pencil work an amazing kinetic energy for the scenes where the princess is just standing or sitting still. (For the uninitiated- It’s incredibly simple to program animation loops using static images in RPY, but I’m not clear if that the most memory-efficient way to do so; I’m going to assume they did this though)

The menu Ui is what gives it away as Renpy to me, but you know, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, lol.

I’m sort of surprised there wasn’t anything like a scene viewer or gallery that unlocked at the end, but I guess that might sort of be immersion breaking.

Gameplay

Just from my hobbyist eye, I can tell there’s a looooott of dialogue flags in this one, where they track previous things you’ve said in the scene. There is absolutely a variable for “Princess hostility,” just based on the fact there’s several like reads of her answering the questions you can ask in chapter one, but since I only did a single run where I didn’t pick up the knife in chapter 1, I can’t be sure if it’s points based or binary “has knife = true.”

My guessssss about how the Aspects are inherited is that it might be a point based system combined with a flag indicating how you died; this would explain how I inherited “the paranoid” in ch2 my first run, but never after that.

I can say with almost complete certainty from the way it completely locked me out of deciding to leave the princess locked up after my choice to leave the woods that there is a true/false variable tracker for each path that stores if you’ve reached the Long Quiet or not, bc no matter what I did I could NOT do that again. Either that or there’s a flag where the narrator will lock you downstairs after seeing that screen once.

There’s also probably some variables tied to your appearance changing in the mirror, but i would need to double check achievements to be sure that text isn’t just set to appear after X vessels being provided.

There’s also a distinct possibility there are different “pools” for the princess’ aspects to be pulled from after each “level” of ascension; this would set it up so that it’s impossible for you to end with an event that is only 1 loop long, and it would be easier to assure story pacing that way.

(Ex: “If Vessels < 2, use Event_Pool_A, Else use Event_Pool_B”, where pool A contains vessels that use less than 2 loops to complete)

All in all, if I ever got the chance to crack the hood open on this, I would. I highly recommend it.

[stuck-on-boops-alt]

First and foremost, the overuse of the word naughty this volume had me rolling my eyes hahaha.. please stop.

There were a lot of cute moments with the LI.. they were probably shared lines, but still they were dorky (compliment) enough that I will just imagine that it's just Hamish.

The eliminated guy shared some info about the LI of your choice (behind a paywall ofc), and I relate with Hamish on the part about building up walls because of feeling misunderstood, and feeling like it's hard to fall in love with someone because of that. (idk if this was a shared description for all the LIs so looool)

Eddie, of course, is being a pot-stirring gremlin, as expected. There is no redeeming that guy, unless you wanna do the burn the villa route probably. He dared to make Hamish doubt about Lyn's intentions b r o.. Anyways, Lyn just kept dodging and ignoring all the drama that was happening. Her eyes are just fixed on Hamish and waiting for their turn to be an official couple lol. My unbothered queen.

Also, Natasha was dropping all the facts at the girls' choice dumping. My bestie 💜 ... Tbh I wish there was an option for my mc to say, you know what guys, fuck the rules and let's all vote for Eddie to be dumped. It would've been satisfying. (then my mc ends up being single loool.. still it would've been amazing to have that guy kicked out now)

Man it's already the final recoupling next volume.. I kind of feel mixed-up about it. Too much stuff going on in the latest volumes, and it feels really rushed in a way. But I'm also kinda relieved it will be over soon 😂

[rorywritesjunk]

Down in the dark where the waves won't go, I'm bound to find my way.

Sunny and Buggy disagree over the next steps of their life together leading to them spending time apart.

Rating: PG-13 to be safe for swearing and arguing. Warning: Each chapter will have a specific warning. This chapter focuses on Sunny and Buggy with bonus Shanks and Rayleigh. Sunny ends up gushing a bit about her husband, kid Buggy gets upset, and Shanks eats his weight in beignets. Word Count: 2,588 A/N: The direct sequel to "No locked upon land...", the fic that started it all. I do not use "You" in this as now that Sunny is an established OC I decided not to go that route. This will be several chapters. Originally (lol) it was just two parts but... but I had to expand but I don't expect it to go much longer than the original fic. It's a few chapters longer than the original fic.

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Epilogue Taglist: @hey-august @lostfirefly @ane5e

Chapter 6

Rayleigh was amazed how Sunny managed to handle directing both Buggy and Shanks in the kitchen. She made him and Roger wait for breakfast as the boys wanted to cook up a feast for the two of them with Sunny's help and well, she was managing to do it while favoring one foot. 

She put Shanks in charge of the eggs and bacon while Buggy handled coffee and toast. Sunny stood between the two to prevent arguments as she already explained to them how important it was to be safe in the kitchen. If they even began to bicker then both of them would be dismissed and she would make breakfast herself without help.

Neither of them wanted that so they were on their Best Behavior for Sunny.

Rayleigh wondered if they could recruit her for the ship. He'd never seen the boys go so long without arguing before.

She checked the eggs and bacon that Shanks was watching before giving him the next instructions. Once Buggy had the coffee poured and toast ready, she put him to task with pancakes. It was kind of nice not having to do a single thing but watch the two. They seemed eager to spend time with her and she was okay with that. The two of them were sweet.

Once everything was ready, she helped the boys plate the foot before directing them to the table. She limped after them before taking a seat at the table.

“Enjoy! The boys worked very hard on this meal for us.” She said with a smile as the boys beamed at the praise. “Once we're done we'll clean up as well, and later today maybe make some beignets for fun.”

The boys had no idea what beignets were, but if Sunny thought it would be fun then they'd want to help. 

~

The jacket wasn't ready yet. An apprentice came to the ship to break the news. Sunny recognized the girl as someone who had been finishing up her apprenticeship when Sunny joined, but she didn't say anything. She shouldn't really go around saying she was from the future, but it was hard when Buggy made it clear who she was when they all first met the day before.

Instead she was made to sit back and rest while the boys did their chores. She was given a seat on the deck so she could be outside while she propped her foot up. There was a bruise and it was uncomfortable to walk, but she would be fine. Buggy kept coming to check on her to make sure she was okay, but after a member of the crew teased him about it he didn't come around for a bit.

If Rayleigh didn't show up when he did to bark orders at the man, Sunny was pretty sure her fists would have needed icing. 

“Do they all really tease the boys like that?” She asked him as he stood beside her. “I just… don't get it.”

“It's just the way it is on here.” Rayleigh shrugged. “They don't mean any harm, but Buggy just takes it far too personally sometimes which creates a bigger issue.”

“Maybe they need to stop and think before making their dumb jokes.” Sunny sighed. “I've known my husband for over 10 years and he still is sensitive to that sort of thing. It sticks with you, you know?”

“I have to say, when Buggy announced who you were, it was surprising.” Rayleigh told her. She looked up at him and frowned. “I know he's young now, but he isn't someone I thought would want to get married.”

“Well, it was all him.” She replied. “It happened so fast. He was a customer of mine at a shop I worked at, we became friends, but he's kind of that… love at first sight type. He was very… Buggy about everything, from dating me to proposing, it was very sweet.” She smiled softly as she leaned back in her seat. “He gets so passionate about things and has a blind stubbornness about him when he knows what he wants. I cared about him but I wasn't really in love with him until he was doing little things to show me he cared, and I saw someone who needed to be taken care of and he let me, so that's kind of why I fell for him.” She paused and looked up at Rayleigh, her cheeks pink as she realized she rambled on. “I shouldn't be saying all of this.”

“No, no, it's sweet.” Rayleigh chuckled. “Buggy deserves someone like you in his life.”

She went quiet, watching the two boys sweep and clean up the deck. They had yet to argue once this morning which Sunny was pleased by, though she knew it could still happen. Buggy kept glancing over in her direction and she smiled at him which seemed to help his mood a bit. He looked rather grumpy from being teased, but since Sunny wasn't doing anything other than look over at him, it seemed to help him relax.

~

The boys brought lunch out to her outside. It was kind of nice to be waited on. Usually she was the one bringing food to her husband but the boys insisted on bringing it to her. Buggy carried a plate of food while Shanks had a drink for her.

“I could get used to this.” She chuckled as she took the items from them. “Thank you, boys.”

“See? You should stay and then we can do this all the time.” Buggy told her with a smug look. “I'd take good care of you.”

“I know, honey.” She smiled. “But you still got pirating to do before anything else, okay, so we aren't changing your path. I'm only here for a little bit, remember?”

He huffed softly, looking a bit defeated. “I know.”

“Can we still make bennies today?” Shanks asked. Sunny took a moment to figure out what he was asking.

“Oh! Yes, if you two are done with your chores for now, we can make beignets.” Sunny told them. “Can both of you check with the cook to make sure we have all of the ingredients first?”

~

Sunny had to warn them again about not arguing while they were in the kitchen for everyone's safety and she was pleased they listened for a second time around. For a little bit.

Dealing with oil to fry up the beignets was the most dangerous part and even after explaining the best way to put the flat pieces of dough in the hot pan, the two argued about who was doing it wrong and Sunny immediately kicked them out of the kitchen.

Shanks wasn't too bothered but Buggy was upset. While the red haired boy waited outside the kitchen hoping to at least eat a beignet, Buggy went elsewhere on the ship to sulk. She opened the door to the kitchen when she was done, expecting to find the two boys, but she was surprised to just see Shanks.

“Where's Buggy?” She asked as she held a plate of the powdered treats. The boy shrugged and took two for himself.

“He went off somewhere.” He replied as he started to eat. “Don't know where.”

She sighed and wondered if she needed to go looking for him. She needed to get off her feet for a little bit but she was worried for him. She gave Shanks another treat before she went to go find Buggy.

It only took her fifteen minutes. He was down in the crew’s quarters on his cot, glaring up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. 

“There you are! You need to eat these while they're fresh.” She told him as she went over to him. He turned over so his back was to her. She wasn't too bothered by that. “C’mon, Shanks already had three.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” He mumbled as she sat on the edge of the cot and helped herself to a treat. “You said not to argue in the kitchen and I did.”

“Yea, well, you made a mistake knowing the consequences.” She told him. “I told you both what would happen if you started arguing in the kitchen around me, and since the two of you decided to do so, I had made you both leave. It’s all about safety, you know, the kitchen isn’t always safe.” She finished off the beignet, licking the powdered sugar off her fingers. “I’m not mad at you, Buggy. A little disappointed, yes, but I’m not mad.”

He rolled back over to look at her with tears in his eyes. “You’re disappointed?!”

“Wha- I mean, not now? Earlier, yes, for a few moments, but I was disappointed in the two of you, not just you.” She told him. She shouldn’t have been surprised by his reaction but it caught her off guard. “It’s okay, Buggy, because even as an adult it will happen. It’s a very normal thing to do, it doesn’t change anything.”

“But-But I tried to be good, but it’s-it’s hard because I want to be the best but then Shanks or someone says I’m doing it wrong when I’m not and I don’t want you disappointed in me!” He sobbed as Sunny helped herself to another beignet before holding one out to him. He took it from her, sniffling loudly as he held it in his hands, not ready to eat just yet. “I’m so-sorry, I don’t want you to be mad at me!”

“Buggy, honey, I’m not mad.” She assured him as she set the plate down and scooted closer to him, being mindful not to leave sugary fingerprints everywhere. “I promise I’m not mad. Like I said, I was a little disappointed but I was never mad at the two of you.”

“I don’t want you to hate me!” He cried. Oof, this was a little too close to home. There were times when Buggy would have too much to drink and get sad-drunk, sobbing in her arms about the littlest things and how he didn’t want her to hate him because he forgot to wash a plate properly or he didn’t make the bed like she asked that morning. He would beg her not to hate him for messing up and he didn’t want her leaving him for some other better looking pirate.

She rubbed his back as he clung to her, crying in her arms as she tried to think of what to say. Maybe she’d just let him cry it out to get it out of his system, maybe just use gentle reassurance that she did care for the boy and that she didn’t hate him, but for now she just let him cry. The plate of beignets was forgotten about.

~

Buggy calmed down after a while. He asked to hold Sunny’s hand as they returned to the deck and she allowed him. A few of the men started to tease Buggy but he chose to ignore them, scowling as he led Sunny back to the kitchen to help Shanks clean up. He had Sunny sit down and wait while he and Shanks finished off the beignets and cleaned up. She wondered if either of them would want dinner later after stuffing themselves with sugar.

Thankfully the boys got along while cleaning and she didn’t have to kick either of them out. Rayleigh came to check on the boys later, pleased to see them getting along once more. He looked over at Sunny as she sat back with her foot propped up once more while she sipped a cup of tea.

“What’s your secret?” He asked. “To keeping them quiet for longer than fifteen minutes?”

Sunny shrugged. “Buggy just doesn’t want me to be disappointed in him, that’s all. Shanks just goes along with whatever I ask but Buggy is the one who wants to be good.”

“Huh.” 

“Yep.”

~

When bedtime rolled around, Sunny was back on the cot in the captain’s room. He wasn’t there yet, doing nightly rounds to check on the crew and the ship. This was one of the few times Sunny had been by herself all day. If Buggy and Shanks weren’t with her, then Rayleigh or Roger were checking in on their guest. Some of the crew came to check her out, literally, asking if she wanted a proper tour of the ship to see some of the more secretive places. She turned them down, thankful as well that Rayleigh was nearby to hear some of that. She never saw grown men scatter so fast. 

Spending time with the boys was… tiring for her, but in a good way. Sunny was finding herself starting to miss her husband at times whenever she’d have to comfort Buggy. It was no different than comforting him as an adult, just less alcohol was involved. One part of her was relieved to have distance from her husband. She… she felt it was needed. She was still thinking things over, such as still wanting kids but at what cost? Her husband was stubborn. If he didn’t want to do something then he wouldn’t do it, so if he really did not want kids…

She wiped the tears forming in the corner of her eyes and cleared her throat. No, no, she wasn’t going to start crying. It just was hard. She found herself wanting to be a mom finally and she really wanted Buggy to be a dad. In her mind she thought he’d be wonderful at it. He had always been good with her little cousins whenever they’d visit her family, and often he’d be the first to end up with a baby being shoved in his arms even without asking. He didn’t usually freak out too much, just accepted he’d be carrying around a baby while entertaining the younger kids with his Chop Chop abilities. 

She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. Was she being unfair dropping this request on him? It wasn’t anything they really talked about much lately, but the fact he did mention it a few weeks ago in passing sparked something in her. She couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy when she thought of her husband holding their child, one she hoped would look just like him, from the hair to his nose to matching scowls. 

Maybe they just needed to revisit it and talk it out. 

“Sunny?”

She hastily wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before sitting up. Buggy was in the doorway in his pajamas, looking at her with concern. She smiled at the boy, hoping he didn’t hear her.

“Hey, honey, are you okay?” She asked. He shrugged a bit and she opened her arms for him. He hurried over to her, crawling into her lap as she wrapped her arms around him. “Have you been asleep yet?”

Buggy shook his head as he leaned into her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Honey, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” She insisted. 

“You seem sad.” He told her. She forced herself to laugh and smile.

“I’m fine, really, don’t worry, okay?” She assured him as she hugged him. 

He frowned at her. He didn’t believe her but he didn’t want her to get mad if he kept pressing the issue. He just leaned into her and closed his eyes, wondering if she’d let him stay with her again for the night. He found he slept a little better when she was around.

[an-aroaces-harem]

Sooo, I google translated my way through the little Ellis short story from the last collection event that just ended sadly I didn't rank, so I don't have his pov version and at first I was just confused, then I went 'awww' and in the end it left me with a big question mark.

I don't even try to keep it short because I simply can't, so here we go.

It starts with Kate wanting to go to bed until someone knocks on her door. Of course, it's Ellis. He notices that Kate actually wanted to sleep but Kate's like 'if it's just for short time, we can talk' but Ellis just responds that it can wait and puts her into bed

—and just lies down beside her. Of course Kate is confused and asks why he's doing that and Ellis smiles at her, telling her they are lovers, so it's simply natural to sleep together. Kate is stunned because she cannot remember getting together with him but in the end, she just accepts it as the truth.

Still, Kate is totally not used to sleeping beside him and tells Ellis she cannot sleep because she can't calm down. So Ellis proposes doing innocent lover things and hugs her (after she agrees of course, man's a consent king it seems). It's no suprise Kate still can't calm down and it leads him asking her if he could kiss her.

He kisses her forhead, her ear, her neck but when he closes in to her lips, Kate suddenly snaps out of her daze (I don't blame her lol) and puts her hand on Ellis' mouth (cue sad pikachu face!ellis), telling him she doesn't want to. Ellis being Elllis, he's okay with it and kisses her palm instead.

Everything was cute and wholesome though I kept wondering what the heck is actually going on? Like is it real? Are they really lovers? On the other hand I was gushing about Ellis and anticipated his next move.

That being him asking Kate if she could kiss him. Kate contemplates a bit because she refused a kiss on the lips earlier, so she needs another place to kiss him. Remembering how he kissed her palm earlier, she wants to kiss his palm too; basically making it a little ritual/secret between the two of them. Oh, and according to google translate, Ellis' hand is large and boney, in case you're interested.

But what would be an Ellis post without any mention of happiness? Right, it would be missing something. After the palm kiss, Kate realizes how happy she is and of course, tells Ellis that she's has never been happier than right now. The thing is, one would assume Ellis would be happy about this, right? After all, making others the happiest they've ever been is his goal.

But instead, his expression becomes sorrowful and hardens, telling Kate he's sorry. And I just there on my bed, staring at my phone screen. Like, is this foreshadowing? What is Cybrid trying to tell us with this reaction? Gimme more information.

Sadly, that doesn't happen because Kate suddenly jolts awake, no Ellis in sight and it dawns upon her that everything had been a dream. But she wonders though, why did it feel so vivid and real? And actually, she felt comfortable with the thought about being lovers with Ellis, and is now probably unable to look him into the face after this.

Aaand that's the end. The whole bed scene was just so fluffy and wholesome and when Kate confessed to him, everything just shattered. Ellis' reaction made me so curious and left me hanging. I wanna know more. I mean, I'm sure Ellis' route will be a rollercoaster full of angst and trauma but I can't with these little crumbs. I. NEED. MORE.

[wefallforever]

Season 4 and 5 Once Upon a Time Rewatch Reflections

I’m combining the two seasons because my season 4 post kept getting flagged as mature and then I lost my phone which had that write up on it 😔😔

-the dynamic between Emma and Regina gives me heart eyes! They are so fiercely protective over each other it makes me swoon. Honestly they should have kept Hook dead so that swan queen could finally happen. When Henry refers to them as his moms or when they call Henry THEIR son I die!

-thank god Belle finally accepted that Rumple ain’t shit. I know his accent is hot but damn girl stand up!

-It’s good that they gave Ursula a happy ending. I think it’s sus that they killed Merlin off in such a brutal way 🙃 anti-Blackness is too much man.

-Zelena is a dastardly ass woman 😭 getting pregnant so your opps can’t hurt you? Fucking diabolical. She’s in a race with Rumple for worst villain on the show.

-I’m glad they brought Mulan back but her story line still makes me sad :( Asian queer women deserve better than this smh.

-I was shocked that Ruby and Dorothy got an on screen kiss!!!!!! I guess gay shit is ok as long as it’s not the main characters? 😒😒😒 THIS IS MAKING ME SO MAD WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLL!

-Dark One Emma is incredibly hot ok?! I love how sultry her voice is.

-I don’t care how big a tantrum my kid would throw, there is ZERO chance I would be taking them to the underworld on a mission to save my dead lover. You can stay your ass at home with Granny and Merida! Henry is sooo willful I guess it runs in the family!

-When Cruella called baby Neal chisel chin junior I laughed for several minutes lol.

On a final note, I’m really intrigued by the idea of destiny and how it plays out in the show. I believe there is a path set out for us in life but it can take many routes, twists and turns. We as individuals navigate these routes based on our actions, environment, personal goals and ambition. We can choose to lean into our selfish “evil villain” urges in times of conflict, then change our direction by being compassionate, then turn back to confrontational behavior all in one day! We can choose to let our pain and suffering fester into “monstrous” behaviour, or we can confront it and transform it into our own personal “magic.” We are truly the authors of our fate. Here’s hoping that despite everything the writers put Regina through she has a happy ending!

Also I decided to wait until I finish the entire series to make the astrology post because I want to see everyone’s complete character development before I make my final judgement. I’m almost halfway through season 6 so it’ll be here soon ☺️.

[icey--stars]

Born For Tragedy: Part 14

Series Index

She was tragedy. Nothing except death, fear and pain followed in her wake. When she was young, she was beaten. Now she’s the one doing the beating as an assassin. A mysterious stranger comes to her, paying an absurd amount of money for her to kill Beron Vanserra, and protect the eldest son until the job is done. She stumbles across a story much similar to her own, and knows what must be done.

a/n: so, tbh, my motivation for this story has been dying (with less than 2 chapters to write? why brain) but im going to try and power through it and write the ending. anyway, figured id update yall lol i have up to part 17/20 finished, just gotta get 18-20 finished 😔😔

also ill be honest, i didnt expect the route this chapter took despite having it outlined. i just let it go lmAo and it turned out pretty good i think?

finally, im on vacation all of today (this is queued lol) until thursday so i won't be able to respond to your lovely comments until then! nevertheless, i hope you enjoy :D

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

When Valda awoke, she practically launched herself out of the bed, breathing hard and eyes blown wide as she remembered what she had to do today. She had to get out now. She wouldn’t be caught dead in front of the High Lord of the Night Court. He’d snap and she’d be bloody mist.

So she quickly reached for the clothing she had on hand– all black and strapped on the weapons she’d had strapped on her for the ball.

There was a knock on the door as she finished the last tie on her boots and she practically leaped out of her skin.

“Come in,” Valda called, standing to glance around her to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything stupid. She’d winnow to her little hideout and gather most of her materials in the bags there and then go to Redwood and complete her task there before she came back to the House late at night.

“I’ll be honest, I thought you would still be asleep,” Eris drawled from the door.

Valda turned to look at him, already outfitted in fancy court attire. “I won’t be caught dead with that monster around,” she growled.

“Rhysand?” Eris asked. “I suppose that’s an accurate way to describe him.”

Valda felt near catatonic still being in the Forest House with Rhysand on his way. “I’ve got to leave, I’ll see you later tonight-”

“Wait,” Eris called as she moved past him.

She paused for a moment to turn back to him. “What?”

Eris smiled softly. “Stay safe,” he said. “And Rhys isn’t supposed to be here until noon. He’s only here for the afternoon. You’re okay.”

Valda nodded, taking one deep, calming breath. She felt more focused.

“Also, I think you’re forgetting a letter on the bedside table,” Eris pointed out.

Valda perked up and turned back before groaning. “I’m a dumbass,” she said as she retrieved the unmarked letter. Just a wax seal kept it closed, and even that was just black with no imprint. “Right, see anything else I’m forgetting?”

“I think you’re good to go. I’ll see you later,” Eris replied. “Stay safe.”

“An assassin’s life is never safe,” Valda said before she walked out the door. She marched herself out of the House, sneaking past servants before she was freed from the building.

A swirl of shadow distracted her and she narrowed her eyes as she walked down the side of the House. Then she saw a male. An Illyrian with hazel eyes and blue glowing stones. Valda held her breath as she recognized the shadowsinger of the Night Court. Fuck, she thought. She had to warn Eris about the spy who seems to not have noticed her yet, but also not get caught. This male, she knew, was a spymaster and an elite one at that. She didn’t want to get caught here, which might prove difficult due to a literal shadowsinger being here..

The male turned suddenly and Valda tensed, shoving her magic over her head like a hood.

The shadowsinger’s blue jewels, siphons, all seven of them, glowed threateningly. “Reveal yourself,” he ordered.

Valda glanced at the window to her right briefly, remembering a door that led into the room just around the corner and could be locked very easily. It might lead her directly into the guard’s lounge but she had no choice here.

Valda didn’t waste a second and turned and ran.

The shadowsinger didn’t shout but she heard crunching behind her on the leaves.

She opened the door, slipped through and then shut it. She turned the knobs for all three locks there. Then she turned toward the empty broom closet, glanced at the window beside the door where the shadowsinger was currently staring at her before sprinting down the hallway connecting the broom closet to the guard lounge.

As she barged into that room, there was a flurry of motion, but she got past them and continued sprinting as fast as she could, heading for the High Lord’s suite.

“It’s an assassin!” One guard screamed.

Not for Eris, she growled to herself as she gathered her magic. You should be more worried about the Night Court crony behind me.

“ERIS!” She yelled loudly as she barged past a group of servants. “GET OUT HERE ERIS VANSERRA!”

A familiar face finally popped out of Eris’s old room. The same place she’d left him. Her room now.

“What?” Eris asked. “What happened? Why do you have 10 guards chasing after you?”

“ASSASSIN!” The guards screamed.

Valda panted for a few seconds before managing to get out the words she needed to. “Shadowsinger. Night Court. Spying. Ran to warn you.”

Eris’s gaze hardened.

“Stop,” he ordered the guards barrelling down the hallway. “She’s not an assassin. She’s my spy.”

The guards paused. “Well why’d she come through the damn broom closet of the lounge?” One guard asked.

“Be more worried about the Night Court shadowsinger on the Forest House premises,” she growled.

“Secure the area,” Eris ordered. “Everyone on high alert and guards at every corner. Inside and out. Report any signs of shadows to me directly.”

“Yes sir,” the guards said. “If you’re sure those shadows aren’t a danger.”

I internally winced. I couldn’t take these off. My cover as Adira would be blown a bit too early.

“Not at all,” Eris replied. “Now go.”

Valda panted for a few more moments before chuckling. “Well that wasn’t the plan.”

“Where was he?”

“West side,” Valda managed despite her dry throat. “Mostly invisible because of those shadows, but armed with all seven of those damn siphons. Very clearly spying.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Wanted to know who I was,” Valda coughed out. “That’s all. I didn’t do anything.”

“Sir!” A servant came running, holding a paper. “A message from the Night Court.”

Eris hummed and took the letter, tearing it open.

Valda peered over his shoulder curiously.

Eris,

I see you found my friend. Tell me who yours is. I’m coming earlier than planned.

- Rhysand

Eris scoffed. “His mind powers are truly interesting to navigate,” Eris mused. “It seems Azriel was here and Rhys told him to do it. Now he wants to know what kind of Night Court High Fae I have here.”

“I need to leave,” Valda cut in. “Just tell them a short story about Adira. It doesn’t say when he’s going to be here. I need to leave.”

“And if he finds you?” Eris asked. “Azriel is likely still near.”

“Once I’m out of the damn wards, I can winnow wherever I want and get my actual materials,” Valda said. “I’ve been chased before. I know what I’m doing.”

Eris tensed a little before sighing. “I’ll glamor you until you’re out of the wards. Walk with you.”

“Fine,” Valda allowed, despite not needing it.

Suddenly, she felt a heavy blanket of magic wrap around her and she stood up straighter, humming.

“So that’s an invisibility glamor? That sucks,” she joked.

“Careful, you can still be heard,” Eris warned and began walking down the hallway.

Valda quieted, stalking in the wake of Eris’s footsteps. Eris sent off a few more orders as they walked, but made it outside. She felt a dramatic increase in the magic of the air and sucked in a breath.

It smelled like burning.

“I’m just strengthening the wards,” Eris whispered. “Meant to do it today before Rhys appeared, but it seems Azriel has taken advantage of the ones my father left.”

Valda didn’t reply, but inwardly wondered how much stronger Eris would be in comparison to Beron if his wards were that weak.

The end of the wards came soon and Valda reached for her magic.

“Stay safe,” Eris told her sternly. “And come here if you get attacked. No matter what.”

Valda briefly nodded, wondering if Eris could see through the glamor briefly before she winnowed straight to her hideout.

She felt the glamor slip away and took a few deep, calming breaths in the wake of the morning’s events.

That shadowsinger better not fuck around with her when she manages to get Eris to let her winnow through the wards. She could snap and he’d be gone.

“Right,” she muttered to herself and scanned the little treehouse before she began rapidly packing things into a backpack. Mostly weapons, some clothing and some other random materials. The treehouse was clean in a matter of 20 minutes.

Not wanting to linger, she pulled on her hood and winnowed to the general location she knew of Redwood. She’d only briefly walked through there for some food while on a brief scouting trip, but it was enough to get her close enough.

She squared her shoulders and marched toward the town, locking her darkness away under a veil inside of her. The town started out as a few stray wooden cabins, but quickly grew into a thriving residential area before she made it to the market square.

There were people talking everywhere and she saw many interesting signs.

A few were calling for Eris’s death and a few in celebration of Beron’s. A very diverse opinion of the lower class so far. Someone suddenly tore down one of the posters for Eris’s death and she blinked as she beheld the small, dirtied boy who’d just plucked it down.

A lord was in the center of the chaos, yelling loudly and dressed in all sorts of finery.

“He must be stopped! He didn’t even search for the assassin who killed him! Eris must be killed!”

“Get him!” A peasant female screamed. “Put him behind bars! Eris is spreading good!”

Valda wasn’t expecting this level of chaos already. Damn, she thought. It wasn’t a riot, but it was more of a mob against the lord of Redwood.

Valda pulled one of the males at the back to the side who’d been yelling briefly and asked in a kind, curious tone, “What’s happening sir?”

“This lord thinks he can call for the death of our High Lord!” The male shouted.

“You like Eris?” Valda asked.

“Of course! He’s lowering taxes for us and paying us more! My family isn’t starving anymore! And this lord thinks he can take it all away from us!”

“Well that’s certainly not fair,” Valda agreed. “Does this entire group like Eris then?”

“Yes!” A female beside the male piped up. “Eris is our savior. For once the farmers and merchants can live in peace!”

Valda grinned. “That is a wonderful thing.”

“Who are you?” The male asked.

“Oh, I’m a messenger for Eris,” Valda said. “The High Lord was looking for some feedback on his new laws. It seems that it’s held high in the hearts of the lower class.”

“Hell yeah it is!” The female shouted, grinning. “You tell that male he’s doing good that’s long since overdue.”

Another person who’d looked back rushed to speak to Valda as well. “My daughter, my daughter! The High Lord has saved my daughter from starvation. He’s-” The rest of what they said couldn’t be heard over more and more people vying for Valda’s attention.

That was all she needed before she winnowed onto a nearby roof, cloaked in darkness in the shade of a large tree.

The mob’s attention refocused on their original goal.

As she relaxed her shield of darkness when she wasn’t spotted, someone spoke to her from the left.

“Eris’s messenger, huh?” A male asked.

Valda jumped, balancing on the top of the roof with an unsheathed dagger in her hands.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he placated. “Chill out man. I was curious.”

Valda narrowed her eyes before settling back down. “Yes, what of it?”

“What’s your name?”

“Classified,” Valda replied on impulse. “Yours?”

“Same,” he chuckled. “Tell me, why were you here?”

“I had a task that’s none of your business.”

“So you’re reporting to Eris tonight then?”

Valda was suspicious of this male. Very, very suspicious. “You don’t need to know what I’m going to do tonight. Leave me alone.”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything,” the male said, using a hand to use a placating hand gesture. “I was just curious about one thing.”

“What?”

“Who killed Beron?”

Valda’s jaw snapped shut. “An assassin,” she ground out. “Goodbye.”

She winnowed away, farther into the forest. She’d gained the information she needed anyway. Now she just had to wait out Rhysand’s visit until night came.

-----

Waiting seemed like it took forever, but she left the letter on the edge of the Autumn Court with a quick winnow. So it wasn’t all wasted. It just felt that way.

While she waited, she watched the Forest House from the outside before catching sight of those damn shadows within the meeting room. Then she left, resolving to hike through the red, orange and yellow forests instead. Only one person on horseback decided to attempt to question her on why she was there, but she merely swiped a dagger from her thigh and held it visibly while explaining to the person that she wouldn’t tell them and could stay where the hell she pleased. They left. Valda couldn’t help but chuckle a little. People were sometimes too easy to scare.

For a brief second, the thought that Eris wasn’t scared of her flashed her mind. Eris wasn’t afraid of her like the others were. And that little thing felt so prized to have with her.

When the moon hit its height for the night, she finally dared to return to the Forest House.

However, she saw a lot more guards than usual, which wouldn’t have been a problem normally, but some were dressed in black, which wasn’t typical. It was suspicious.

An entire group of black dressed people suddenly darted around a corner and a guard pointed briefly towards them.

Shit, she swore. Invaders? Assassins? Who are they?

She needed to know and needed to stop them. So she threw her pack into a tree and stalked forward, unsheathing her curved blade from her back and holding it tightly in her right hand.

Valda watched the group of enemies grow larger. The guards were mostly unaware of the gathering forces. Valda lunged forwards over the short fence, feeling the wards slide over her. No winnowing out now, she supposed.

“What was that?” One patrolling guard asks his partner. “Did you see someone-”

“Who are you?!” The other yells in my direction.

She holds her breath and stays still behind the bushes.

“Call backup,” one mutters. “We don’t know whether it's an assassin or not and Eris demanded full coverage of anything suspicious.”

“You go, I’ll watch.”

Valda internally growled in frustration. Back up for her and not the group of enemies where the group was almost thirty!? Damn it.

She carefully manipulated her power, placing a small sound barrier between her and the guard before covering herself in the darkness of the night and leaping out of the bushes, onto the grass. Not wanting to waste magic, she removed the sound glamor and lowered her darkness to the ground, knowing her black clothing was enough to cover her in the less lit area.

The enemies now stood tall and faced the Forest House. She saw a glowing magic start at the fingertips of one of them. Fire, she recognized. Autumn Court? But-

A huge fireball was shot at the building. The guards shrieked but Valda ran forward. She covered herself with a magic shield and then took down one person- then a second before they noticed her.

All of them jumped at her. Valda grunted as flame hit her shield from all sides. It wasn’t as bad as Beron’s, but it was wearing her down fast from all the winnowing she’d done for the day. It was fucking midnight. This was insane.

“Get them all!” One guard shouted.

Shit, Valda thought. She was lumped in with the black clothed people. That meant literally everyone was against her. Damned idiot, she thought to herself. She was an idiot. A complete and utter moron.

She yelped as someone shoved against her shield. The tiniest trickle of fear began to boil in her stomach. She’d long since taken her fear and buried it down into the depths of her soul, but she’d fucked up. Badly.

She drowned the area in pure, rolling darkness and escaped the people that caged her in even as swords clanged and people screamed in pain. She threw her darkness around herself as she leaned against a nearby concrete pillar, groaning.

One- no… three people came running at her with a sword swinging. She rolled to the side just in time, unable to muster the energy to shield against a sword. Maybe fire for a while longer but this… this was getting too close. She still had more than 20 people to get out of the area and she was too close. Not as close as Beron had brought her, but too close for comfort.

A dagger was thrown at her and embedded itself in her thigh as she stood. Valda groaned, fear flooding her senses more strongly now. She needed to get out. She’d messed up.

She shoved a shield of darkness around her again, using their lack of senses to her advantage but then-

“IT’S THE SHADOW!” Screamed one guard.

Valda swore.

“EVERYONE GET THE ASSASSIN!” Another shouted.

People sprinted for her as they unified temporarily against her. Motherfuckers.

Fear edged her senses as she turned and sprinted for the end of the wards in a desperate hope to escape. She could winnow somewhere. She could-

Another dagger embedded in the back of her shoulder and she screamed, falling down. The fear was endless now.

But then there was silence.

Silence wasn’t normal.

She turned, possibly thinking she was dead, but then she saw flaming auburn hair and nice court clothing. Then a deep blue fire in the palm of Eris.

Eris, who stood between her and her attackers.

Eris, who was willing to go against his own guards to do that.

Eris, who was protecting her.

“Funny,” Eris drawled. “I’m pretty sure half of you aren’t supposed to be here.” He glanced at the people in black. “And the other half is chasing after… who?”

“She’s the Shadow!” One screamed. “Kill her!”

Eris glanced back at Valda.

“Guards,” Eris commanded. “Shackle those dressed in black and take them to the dungeons for questioning.”

One went toward her.

“Not her,” Eris growled, the fire in his palm glowing even brighter. That growl sounded possessive, protective and downright aggressive.

“But High Lord-”

“Leave the assassin alone,” Eris snarled.

The guard reluctantly turned back.

Within seconds, the enemies were locked up. Not one of them had tried to run, which surprised her to be honest. It meant they’d had some other goal in mind.

Eris finally turned back to her, leaning down onto the balls of his feet. “Valda,” he said gently. “I’m going to take you to the healers-”

“Why?” She interrupted him.

Eris blinked. “What?” He asked, confused.

“Why did you protect me? In front of everyone?”

Eris opened his mouth, but hesitated. Then a piece of her chest yanked. A string connected to her heart. It yanked so hard she almost lost the minimal balance she had and stabbed her shoulder even worse than before.

Then it glowed golden.

Valda then felt emotions that were foreign to her. Fear, hope, and something along the lines of must protect.

She knew what that meant. Any fae knew what that meant.

“You’re my mate,” she whispered.

Eris didn’t breathe in.

Her eyes widened and she felt unbelievable terror fill her and she suddenly turned and sprinted for the wards.

Eris called after her but as soon as she was free- she winnowed away.

She landed in the frozen wastelands from her training, running for the entryway she knew all too well. A place she went to fear unafraid, because she was forced to not be.

That terror in her chest wasn’t fear for herself anymore though.

The dread was for Eris. This… mate bond would interfere with everything. And she would hurt him. She could never go near that male again. She would not let him get hurt. She must not.

As she stood in that same throne room in the Masters’ Underworld location where she killed them all.

She shivered as she leaned down to remove the dagger poking out of her thigh and then from her shoulder. No danger from either of them. They were not ash nor ash coated. She healed quickly and set out to make a plan.

A plan to protect her mate and to keep herself away.

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

TAGLIST (see post for getting added)

@bunnymallowo, @officiallyunofficialperson, @margssstuff, @rebloggiest-reblogger, @inpraizeof, @graciereads, @eos-princess, @imma-too-many-fandoms, @mali22, @sassybluebird, @bubybubsters,

[altairring]

hi hi as the resident rio stan I need to ask you an important question: exactly how many times is emma's life put into danger in his route?? including both ends (I need it for a fic idea I have lol)

RESIDENT RIO FAN????!!?!??!?!?!?!?!

Huge honor to be called that lmao. Also, sorry for the late reply! I got busy today <//3

I swear, I read his route more or less six times so if I freaking forget something I will cry.

tl;dr: she was in danger about 4-5 times.

Good luck with your fic, ahhh!! :DD pls tag me, hehe

Under the cut are the specific scenes. Rio's route spoilers ofc for those who haven't read it yet.

I'll list it out for you:

Common Route

On his common route, they were sent by Silvio to an auction to win a rare piece of jewelry. After they got it with a bajillion gold (thanks, Clavis!) Rio stayed behind because he "forgot" the rose jewel itself. This isn't precisely when Emma got into some danger because the ambush is intended for Rio, but I will include it anyway. I am assuming he left so Emma wouldn't be in the middle of the trouble.

After the auction, Silvio has been missing for a few days now. The two tried to find him in the Rhodolite palace, but nada! So, they went to the Benitoite Embassy to catch a glimpse of him. While waiting for 'Silvio,' the servants gave them some tea. Emma was about to drink, but Rio insisted he drink it first, just in case. Surprise, surprise! Emidio poisoned the tea.

Romantic Route

The only time I can remember where Emma's life was put in danger was when they confronted Emidio in that one mansion where the ex-queen's ledger contained all the illegal trades. Rio got stabbed with a knife in this confrontation.

Dramatic Route

Silvio kidnapped Emma and thankfully escaped by distracting Carlo. Since the place where she was kept was deep in the forest, she encountered some wolves on the way. Rio came at the right time and saved her.

Immediately after the wolf encounter (and having the "no yandere allowed" talk), Emidio stabbed Emma. I was so, so, so shocked in this part because the sword went through her. She passed out from the pain and also, of course…from bleeding out (my poor, poor Emma, ahhhh).

[shmowder]

What you said about Yulia makes so much sense!! "She'd act like the perfect Victorian era husband" I love it. Tbh at times I think I'm missing something essential about her by only knowing her P2 self because I've never gotten especially butch vibes from her; yeah maybe in comparison to many of the other women in town, but not as much as the fandom seemed to regard her as. I know that some people were dissatisfied with the redesign for that reason, so I know P1 will be another story. And you're right of course, it's important to consider what was "normal" for the time period too.

About the toxic relationship, my first reaction was Noooooo not the dishes 😱😱 But I think you're right about that too, unfortunately, haha.

-

I think I'm something of a P1 Haruspex Day 1 expert by now ;) Noo I'm joking, I bet there's a lot I'm still missing, but I've begun Day 1 three times now and maybe the third time's the charm. I just didn't use my time wisely the first time, and on the second I didn't do the Isidor's house side quest. At least Victor and Yulia's voice acting seems unobjectionable.

The wonkiness is starting to grow on me and the walking speed isn't as bad as I expected. It's more like a power walk sort of. I was just reminded of the old Pokemon games before the running shoes existed :o

As time goes on I wonder if I'll ultimately view P1 and P2 as two separate games or if I'll start blending them together, choosing what I like best from each one. 🤔

"Alexander Cuckburov for being a gaint tree branch wedged into my urethra" LOL that is. VIVID

-

Having a perfect vision of the end result and the struggle to get there and knowing it might be altogether impossible to produce what you've dreamed up in your head... I feel you big time on that :( I would hate for my request to be a source of stress for you, so if you want to post the snippets you have and do a bg3-style list for the remaining characters, I won't mind. Or I don't mind waiting longer if you want to pause on that request and pick it up again later. I'm sorry if I sound patronizing 😅 I don't mean to, I just want to say that I'm okay with whatever you're comfortable doing. You've given me so much already, and I'm grateful for all of your replies ♡

Here's a goofy little affirmation of the day: 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉

🐿️ anon

I get it, I totally didn't get her being described as butch at all while playing P2. You'll meet her in the bachelor P1 route, and it will click eventually. She dresses and behaves more similarly to Daniil than to other women, and it's that era's equivalent to butch.

I like her P2 design, I just wish they kept her pixie cut instead of giving her a bun.

-

Pfjwojfjs me and you are the world leading experts on restarting the Haruspex day one. It's really The loaded everything bagel out of all the other routes, oh and don't worry!

The days somehow get even shorter + more loaded the more you progress. No rest for the wicked... or Menkhus it seems.

At one point I was literally restarting a whole day because I was a few minutes off from midnight in some bullshit quests, you'll absolutely hate Oyun this time around. No more mister pathetic soggy old cat, he is a cunt through and through and will make you almost tear your hair out from the debilitating quests he has.

But I'm happy you're enjoying it!! It's so beautiful and very fun. About the trashcans, there are actually more than P2, but they aren't conventional places alongside the streets this time around.

They're scattered through the town. Sometimes, they're grey trashcans that blend in with the gravel streets. Sometimes, they're large bins that blend in with the throw up colored streets.

A lot of times, they're wedged in between buildings or thrown into corners. You have to go out of your way to check the bins.

-

Thank you for your sweet words <3 It feels nice knowing someone relates to the experience too. It's never a source of stress I promise, I experience this with my original work too.

[mrgreenie007]

"I hate having a crush."

🍄Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader

🍄short drabble about y/n having a crisis over passing by her crush.

**********************************🍄***********************************

You look behind you, staring at the glowing exit sign above the door. It seemed to be calling your name and you were so close to succumbing and running away like always. 

You take a deep breath clutching the secured goods that need to go into the mailroom before closing time. But by the looks of it the mailroom will probably close before you even take your first step. You try thinking of another way you can get to the mail room. In your head you lay out the map of this maze like institution but there isn’t another route, going down the hallway of the east wing is the only way.  

“Y/N you got this! don’t freak out,” you say to the endless versions of you that are making this extremely difficult as they bombard your already unhealthy brain with endless scenarios of what if’s.

What if you trip again, what if you fart, what if you freeze, etc.

Your phone vibrates and you sigh as you don’t even have to look at who’s calling to know that it was Lisa. She has called twice already to tell you to hurry up or she was going to leave without you. 

You bite the inside of your cheek and look over at his direction. He was deep in conversation, his eyes were sparkling and his brows were slightly furrowed. His two co-workers seemed to be hanging off his every word as they nodded like puppets. 

You just have to wonder why, out of all the space available in this place, today was the day he had to be standing adjacent to the door that you needed to go through.  

“Ok,” you finally decide and start taking slow strides towards the white double doors at the end of the hall. Your eyes stay focused on the silver lettering above the door that said the mail department. Surprisingly the hallway was fairly empty and you couldn’t even hide behind anyone today. 

You are getting closer to the double doors, his voice is becoming louder and your hands are getting sweatier. Please don't notice me, please don't notice me- 

“Hi Y/N,” he says and you almost melt.  

You freeze and you feel yourself going into overdrive, you're panicking but trying so hard to act normal in front of him. You turn slowly and smile awkwardly. Just say hey, iits going to be okay.

“ Hiii Toji,” you squeak in a high pitched voice that you swear the light twitches above you.  

You don't even wait for their reaction or let what happened process it self. You just know that everything happened so fast after that and now you were inside the car almost crying.

“What happened?” Lisa asked concerned as she kept looking at you every time we stopped at a red light. You screamed and sunk in your seat wanting to disappear.

“I sounded like a fucking whale,”I whined and squeezed my eyes shut but opened them after a spit second as all I saw was his face.

Lisa looked at me and laughed hitting the steering wheel and accidentally beeping at the car in front of us. 

“ I hate having a crush.”

🍄 Authors note: Lol don't know if I should continue itt!

[the-passenger-if]

Had a dream last night I played The Passenger and so I did. Just in time to avoid spoilers. And wow I'm so glad I did because getting to discover everything by myself was amazing!!

Where do I even begin? First, I love the characters a lot. I was not romantically interested in her but Fiama is one of my favorites. I love her and I hope she can raise Bruno well. She's doing amazing. I lover her. And Livvy!! Oh my god Livvy!! I love her so much. She's wonderful. For an idea of how my playthrough went, I got the Roach/Horizon polyam route, I befriended everyone and kept them alive, I got to 100% essence and got to heal Livvy (wow!) and now my Newman Keres and xyr lovers Roach and Horizon are gonna go on a cool roadtrip together. And I broke the cycle by not eating the Hunter. So I think I got the best ending, go me!

I got so attached to my Newman. I love how autistic the writing of Newman as a kid feels in general, being autistic myself, I just recognized myself a lot. Well I never bit down my fingers to the point of almost severring them. Keres (xe/xem/xyr) is pretty imposing, doesn't emote well, doesn't understand so many social cues and has pretty low empathy, but xyr humanity stat was pretty high. Because xe doesn't feel much empathy but go at it with logic. Kind of like "I know this is a bad situation and so I'll be compassionate". At first it was to blend in. Then it became because xe really did care. Xe didn't want to leave this world also, mostly because of Livvy at first, but then because of Roach and Horizon as well- But a lot of it was Livvy.

I was just terrified when Tzr'nekre blinded Livvy and had Horizon possessed and everyone captured. I was so worried I picked the worst choices and made a huge mess. I'm so, so glad I was able to work everything out in the end. The ending I got was so satisfying. The revelations along the way felt like gut punches, like Newman being responsible for killing Roach's kind? Ouch! I loved The Passenger back when it was a demo, and I absolutely adore it now that it's out. I'm not sure I'll replay doing different routes (I just love Roach & Horizon too much lol) but I'll definitely replay in the future building another Newman with completely different stats. Keres was imposing, responsive, cautious and goal-oriented, it'll be interesting having a Newman who's very different from that. But I definitely will stick to the nice choice, can't begin to think about hurting my blorbos lol. I love all of them. They deserve the best ending possible.

Also love to imagine post canon shenanigans. I think Roach, Keres and Horizon should all wear dresses. Roach would have one that fits pretty well probably. With pockets everywhere to hide stuff in. Horizon would probably have a very fancy one, long and pretty that suits them perfectly. Keres would throw on whatever fits as long as it's comfortable. Roach probably laughs a lot at xyr disastrous fashion sense. Horizon tries to help gently. Because Keres is 100% capable of putting together the worst outfit known to humankind and cosmic horrors without even trying.

Alright it's been a pretty long message so I'll end it here but I'm definitely keeping this IF in mind as one of my favs of all times. It was amazingly fun, and I loved every second of it. Thank you for writing it!! Can't wait to see the spoiler asks you'll answer to and see more stuff being shared! I'll also definitely stick around for your future IFs if you choose to publish more, your writing is top notch.

Hope you have a good day!

(hey that’s the medicine seller! sexy bastard)

Thanks, I’m glad you liked TP and had such a fun (if nerve wracking) time :3

[tipsy-scales]

Anyway I caught up to the Nier Automata anime! I really wish there was more because I’ve had so much fun watching it. It’s been a long time since I just sat down & watched an anime. I missed it.

When I bought the game I was hoping to play it with my dad, but he hasn’t seemed interested. I know he’d really like the story & watching anime is easier, so I was hoping instead to show him the show. I’m a little unsure how friendly it is to new viewers though. There’s so much information & I feel like it’s palpable that not everything will be fully covered & is more a reference for fans. Even if someone doesn’t know exactly what was changed or what is missing, I think they can still tell the story has a lot to it. So I don’t know still. I’ll definitely wait until there’s more episodes to decide.

The only episodes I didn’t like were episode 1 which I felt looked cheap. I also played through that part of the game a bunch (I kept losing) so maybe I’m tired of seeing that part. But also the CGI flyers looked really cheap…

Also episode 4 which is the one with Simone the opera singer machine. They barely showed the amusement park. I wish they had walked through it just a bit because it’s such an interesting location & I’d have liked to see more. Then the fight with Simone was really cool, but they really held back on her backstory. Instead of spelling it out clearly like the game does, it felt more abstract. If I were an anime only viewer I would probably think it was only a strange sequence & move on. Whereas that was one of my favorite stories in the game…

The story pacing is interesting too. By combining the 9S & 2B routes, we’re getting both of their full personalities at once. First off that means we’re right away suspicious of command & the true nature of the machines. I feel like the game allows you to sit in that doubt a little longer which is meaningful. It’s probably an unavoidable change since this is a different medium but ehh

Then they’re giving 2B a lot of emotion while showing the unsavory side of 9S at once. I wonder how it affects people’s impression of 9S. He’s my favorite but I think it’s easy to misunderstand him. Now 2B is the hot one AND the compassionate one. I hope when the time comes, people can still empathize. I think his story should be treated delicately lol.

The extra stuff has been super interesting though! And I haven’t minded changes in the story direction. I think they’re understandable.

The opening & ending are growing on me, but I wish they had more of the vibe of the soundtrack. The animation is growing on me as well. I’ve been hating on it for a bit LOL

[selfless1978]

MAD DASH FOR LOVE

ok, I feel like I should explain a few things before I throw my AU stuff out there. first off, my OCs Vicky and Cris live in "this" world. They go back and forth between dimensions by using a portal Donnie made. Second, Vicky and Leo share a mindlink. That happened after she got mildly mutated. This Particular story takes place "here" where the turtle lair is "there".

I hope this doesn't confuse too many folks lol

.

.

My eyes narrowed as I took the situation in. It wasn't a good one. There were a large amount of bodies between me and my target, and I didn't have much time. I ended up cursing my typical bad luck as I scanned the area, trying to plan the best course of action in this situation. Almost immediately I came to the conclusion that a frontal rush would be the best solution here. I took a deep breath to steady myself, then took off in a run.

Using the agility I had spent countless hours training, I easily dodge through the mass of bodies in front of me. The old lady pushing the shopping cart was a bit of a problem but I solved that by just vaulting over it, to her opened mouth shock. I ignored it as I kept going. I had more important matters on my mind. That buxom blonde bimbo was getting too close and I had a lot of ground to make up. She knew I was coming too but she got hung up in her own rush of bodies. I smirked at her as I pulled ahead, and that promptly earned me a faceplant with an end of aisle display that I didn't see. Of course if I had been watching where I was going...

I rolled back to my feet leaving the tipped over shelving unit and it's contents where it fell, flipped over another cart pushing customer and hit the floor running. Cursing the mistake of talking on the phone on the way in about what I was wanting to get. And then seeing even from across the store that there was only one left. And this bitch thought it would be a good idea to get it too all of a sudden. Dumb broad...just couldn't come up with her own idea and had to steal mine. I knew that's what she was wanting to do as soon as I saw her eyes light up. And with a "Hell fucking no!" the chase was on.

Great...now there were two carts in front of me, both spaced out a bit apart. I would lose time if I tried to do a double jump or tried to weave my way around them. In a split second I chose another route. I flipped up onto the top of the shelves, my feet knocking everything over off of the cluttered thing, running along it to the delightful squeal of the toddler in one of the carts that caught sight of me. Of course by the time his mother turned to see what had him giggling away I was already past them.

My eyes narrowed when I noticed that smackaho was closer than me and I put on some more speed, stepped off of the edge of the shelf and landed in front of her right before she reached out to grab it. With an immense feeling of triumph my hands landed on it first and I picked it up and held on tight. Then I turned and gave her the most evil grin I could before I sauntered off to the checkout counter. This was my Valentine's present dammit and I was going to give it to Leo.

I quickly lost my smug feeling when I turned and noticed the destruction I left behind me. Ooops... I took the long way around, hit the self checkout counter and hauled ass outta there right about the time a few cop cars pulled in. Well...I wasn't coming back to this store again. Didn't bother me a bit though as I clutched my prize and slipped into my Jeep and headed home before they even got out of the patrol car. I'd have to ask Donnie, on the sly, to see if he could erase all the evidence this little mishap caused. You know, the video feeds, police reports...shit like that.

It was with a large feeling of relief when I finally made it home, to find Cris and Marina waiting for me by the door. Both of them were looking at me as if they had just spent a large amount of time laughing at me.

"What?" I asked my chuckling friends as I slipped out of the Jeep.

"Did it ever occur to you to hang up the phone before you went on your rampage?" Cris asked me back.

"Huh?"

"We heard it all." Marna laughed. "Cris put it on speaker phone. Donnie is already working on cleaning up your mess."

"Oh..." I blushed. Ok...so I wouldn't ask him on the sly. "Leo doesn't know...does he?"

"No." Cris grinned. "He was in the lair meditating. Still is actually. You're off the hook on that one...for now. Well, let's see it. It better be worth the effort you put in to get it."

I sheepishly opened the back door and carefully pulled it out.

"Oh Vicky... It's perfect for him." Marina's eyes actually misted up a little and Cris quietly nodded her agreement.

I blushed again at their reaction as I carefully brought it into the house. "I'm...going to bring it to him now. Nowhere really to hide it for later and he's in the right spot for me to give it to him."

Cris smiled. "You go do that."

So I did. I walked through my house, trying not to pay Donnie any attention as he gave me a quick glare as he muttered and worked, and into the lair. My footsteps carried me towards the dojo, through it and to the little room adjoining it where he usually meditated when he didn't sit in his father's room. I hesitantly brought up a hand and knocked on the doorframe as the other held the present close to me.

Leo sat cross legged on a mat in the dim room, his eyes closed and his face softly lit by the scented candles that flickered on the low table in front of him. "Come in dear one." His blue eyes opened.

I looked around the room that was otherwise bare of furnishings. Leo never really did need much so his meditation area was just as bare as his room was. "I have something for you."

His head tilted curiously as he noticed the item I was carrying. "A picture by the looks of it." He got to his feet.

I nodded and turned the large frame around so he could see as I held it out to him. "Happy Valentine's Day. I know it's not the typical Valentine's gift, but I didn't want to get you some cheesy ass teddy bear stuffed in a mug... I wanted to give you something special."

His eyes grew wide as he took it from me, then they took in every detail of the Japanese painting I had found...and trashed a department store to get. He held it with one hand and ran the fingers of the other over the pristine landscape pinned under the glass, the colors mixed perfectly to highlight the mountains in the background, the forests on each side and the quiet little village tucked in the middle field. Even the clouds were perfect and seemed to float across the painting. Then those eyes looked at me.

"I...I thought it would be nice to hang it in here... Give you something pretty to look at if you can't sett-"

He cut me off with a kiss after he pulled me too him, careful to keep the painting out to the side. That went on for a minute or two. Was a little busy to keep track of the time there.

"Thank you Vicky." He told me when he finally gave me a chance to breathe again. Leo then turned and carefully placed it on the low table between the candles and leaned it against the wall. Then he stepped back to look at it as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. "It's perfect."

"I did good?" I smiled the question at him.

"Very good." He smiled back. Then an eyeridge came up. "But did you really have to destroy the houseware section of the store to get it?"

My jaw dropped open. How did he...

'You forgot to shut some memories out dear one.'

God damn it...

His laughter filled the room then as he turned me to him and pulled me into a hug. "Oh Vicky... I do love you."

"I hope so. Otherwise I'm going to end up on America's most wanted for nothing..."

Leo chuckled as he shook his head in amusement.

"I'll go pester Donnie for a hammer and nails." I tried to leave the room, only to have him pull me back to him.

I squeaked in startlement as he spun me back around, then I shivered when I noticed that look in his eyes. "That can wait..." He murmured. His mouth came in again for another kiss even as his hand reached behind me to close the door. Right after that Leo guided me to the mat, the first churr of many filling the room.

Leo's meditation room was used for something besides meditation that afternoon. The painting bearing silent witness to our love making as our candlelit reflections mirrored off of the glass. A perfectly beautiful painting that was almost as perfectly beautiful as the love we shared for each other.

@turtle-babe83