#kind of a long post. oops

[mourningmogaicrew]

hi!!! I saw u mention agabpunk before? is there anymore info u have to elaborate on it? would it include being an agab but choosing to identify as a different agab (not just gender but AGAB bc u reject the one u had) or wanting to not have an agab or have it revealed to people? Honestly interests me so much I have a lot of feelings on it and would love to see more terms related to these concepts .. bc I want to id as a different agab and also agables and don’t want people to know or assume mine at all

OHnim sorry for asking I didn’t realize asks were closed I wasn’t trying to request anything btw

Even though coining requests are closed it's still okay to request information about something!

AGABpunk is a label I made up a couple months ago to match other labels like dyspunk or amatopunk. Basically going against social norms and radically accepting things.

It was just one word idea I came up with (along with AGABqueer, AntiGAB, AGABf*ck, etc) to describe people who reject being defined by something they were labeled as decades ago.

I've had a couple people say neoassignments/AGAB-rejecting terms could fit under AGAB non-conforming, and that's true! But I wanted a more specific term to describe the movement in general. The original ask (here) was less "I don't conform to the AMAB/AFAB binary" and more "I am intentionally going against that binary, I don't like the normalization of that binary, etc".

It's kind of like the difference between gender non-conforming and terms like genderpunk, genderf*ck, or gender piracy. They're much more active (loud? rebellious? queer, even? I don't know a good word for it).

People have been playing around with this concept for a very long time, with jokes and sayings like: "I was assigned trans at birth" "not amab or afab but a secret, new third thing" (slur warning ->) "I'm actually afag" "not amab/afab, I'm aPerson" "I wasn't amab or afab, I was a baby". I have heard all of those and more and figured that making neo terms was just the next level of that.

And here are some terms that you may be interested in anon:

-AGABless: not identifying with an AGAB.

-A?AB: viewing your AGAB as irrelevant, or not wanting to tell it to others.

-SAGAB: self-assigning your sex/gender.

-AXEAB: assigned xenogender at birth. The link goes to the archived assigned kenochoric at birth (AKAB) coining but if you scroll down you'll see AXEAB too.

Plus some terms I've made up:

-A_AB: assigned nothing at birth. When you think that you weren't really assigned a gender/sex at birth, you were just a baby that the doctor looked at and wrote things down for. After all, things like recorded weight (and name, if you're trans) also become practically irrelevant as you develop into a person.

-A[]AB (or A⬛︎AB): AGAB-redacted. Refusing to tell people who don't need to know your AGAB, and feeling like it's an invasive question. This especially goes for nonbinary people who are constantly being asked "but which one were you born as?".

-ÆAB: assigned gender/neogender/xenogender at birth. For anyone with a weird gender, or multiple of them, who wants to say that they've always been that gender in a nontraditional way. Kind of like MtM/FtF for binary trans people. The name has the "e" from gender and I combined it with the A. AAAB and AKAB can potentially fall under this.

-AGABvoid: kind of like AGABless and inspired by gendervoid. Why won't you tell people your AGAB? Why don't you have a connection to it? Because it's missing, that's why! You've somehow lost it. (This was written in a very joke-y way but feel free to actually use this term)

It could also be possible I guess to identify with multiple, conflicting, or all AGABs (panAGAB???). For example I know some intersex people will call themself both AMAB and AFAB but perisex people can also do that.

[zaukiel]

long post, but here's a comic i've worked on over the past 2-3 years. i used to only work on it during my 15 mins breaks at work but i took the time this year to power through and finish it.

it takes place after sachiel saves vik's ass from getting killed- the two have a conversation at a bar where sachi can loosen up a bit from his usual stoic persona.

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[ryuuisnotpresent]

lil cutie patootie

[eliasofsunhillow]

so @blunderbussin gave me an excuse to write an essay about hirasawa and im going to do that instead of anything impactful with my life and it's going to probably get stupid long. oopsie

So the aspect of Hirasawa that intrigues me the most is the lore surrounding the interactive live shows, a form of storytelling he's more or less pioneered. While there seems to be no particular overarching story (anymore. but thats a story for another day), all the stories that are told by the different shows are loosely connected, sharing characters or referencing events in previous shows; as well as being supplemented by sporadic stories that Hirasawa writes about some of the characters.

And listen. When i say 'loosely connected' i mean i have spent hours and hours and hours with my closest friends (who are also hirasawa fans) trying to stitch these events into a semi-cohesive whole because this old man does not give two brass coins for any kind of continuity (and he's really loosey-goosey on any kind of details), which drives me absolutely insane because goddamnit i will make this stupid thing make sense all together.

Also there's really some pretty banger concepts in these lives: machines that enforce the reality of the world based on collective perception, totalitarian government ruled by an alien fern, the green nerve network (its really hard to explain), Sim City as a place, an echo of modern cities in a virtual universe, Layer-Green/Communo Hybridia, the digital sea, timeline hopping cyborgs with terminal self-loathing

im talking about HIM my beloved good times girl, my rotten cheese man btw ↆↆↆↆ

anyway. this is a topic i could literally talk for hours about And I Have. i've spent so much time lovingly crafting theories only for them to have about a million holes shot through them because of some silly detail i completely forgot. oops. but im going to shut up for now before i get into the really deep/silly shit because if i speak about the ascii dragon or luuk sathwan khondiaw i will literally never ever shut up. i am a dork

[onethousxndvoices]

SORRY IM LATE. HERE IT IS (full mocha infodump under the cut xoxo)

Basic Stuff :]

22, close to turning 23 around the time she comes along

One o them she/theys

She’s slow to warm up to others, but once she’s grown comfortable around you she’s much more outspoken and willing to goof off. Almost constantly wearing the Customer Service Persona otherwise

Their wrist brace isn’t part of Project Armstrong; they got their augmentation prior to joining Vandelay to help with nerve damage in their wrist.

Their fine motor skills are a little limited because of this, hence why their weapon of choice focuses more on bigger arm movement.

ok NOW on to the lore stuff

Mocha works for Vandelay HR and has been there since before the events of the game (little over a year, give or take). She’s the type to keep her head low and just do her work; drawing any negative attention to herself is the last thing she wants, especially in a company like this.

I guess she worked under Mimosa before everything happened? The game kind of lumps in a lot of HR’s work under Marketing for some reason so like. all the more reason for them to keep a low profile

In a similar vein, though, it DOES mean she would’ve had a hand in putting together Project Armstrong (although it was Very minimal). I like to think they saw Chai’s file while they were going through final passes and made fun of his application LMAO

Mocha was mostly business-as-usual during the day or two the game takes place (both on orders from her higher ups and because she wanted as little to do with whatever bullshit was sending the company into a frenzy as possible). They got dragged to the Armstrong Festival by a coworker who entered their name into the raffle, and they were in the crowd when Chai and the others crashed the party.

She thought it was pretty amusing to see her boss get humbled as hard as she did.

Post-canon leaves Mocha with a ton of work to do since the company is rearranging a LOT of stuff on pretty short notice (hooray /s), so it isn’t until a few months afterward that she and Chai actually meet.

They quite literally run into each other on the way into Vandelay Tower. Chai nearly ran her over after he overestimated his landing and Mocha nearly blew his hair back for it, but she had to awkwardly hold her tongue when she realized they were both taking the same elevator. Chai tries to redeem himself through some small talk on the way up, and through it Mocha eventually realizes why she thought he looked so familiar. She decides to let him off easy this time (he’s nice to look at so she can’t be that mad at him. or whatever)

I don’t really have much on how they grow closer beyond the fact that they just. keep running into one another. At first Mocha thinks it’s just coincidence but eventually she starts catching herself looking out for him in the usual places they meet up at (he’s just a nice friend they can talk to about stuff other than work :-) that’s all)

Music is absolutely one of the things they bond over. Chai was surprised to learn Mocha listens to a lot of the same bands he does (“I dunno, you just didn’t seem like the type to listen to that kind of stuff.” “And what does that mean?!”)

They’ll often share what they’ve been listening to recently with one another in the times they get to hang. They’ve both introduced each other to new artists and genres that way

At one point their random meet-ups becomes something they do on the regular, something that Peppermint DEFINITELY teases him over (although for the first couple months she and the others at the hideout probably doubted that Mocha like. existed LMAO). Chai swears up and down they’re just friends and then in basically the same breath mentions he’s gonna ask her if she wants to come with him to a concert for a band they both like

Mocha agrees. Obviously

I think it’s around this time that Mocha starts to let go of their ‘work-sona’ and express themself more honestly around Chai. The concert is really the first time he sees Mocha’s ‘real’ self; loud and happy and someone who can absolutely match Chai’s energy. They have an absolute blast and they get a little drunk and they stay up way after hours just. Talking (oh god. I kinda wanna write this scene FUCK)

They both talk a little about how they ended up where they are and lo and behold they are total opposites in just about every way

Mocha is basically the poster child of The Modern Adult Under Capitalism (go to college -> get a degree -> get a job and work until you’re old or dead) and she’s spent almost their whole life learning to smile and bear that fact. She kind of hints at her dissatisfaction with that life by saying she wanted to be an artist but. yknow (gestures at her cybernetic brace)

Chai doesn’t delve too much into himself (“Eh, it wasn’t much. I’m out here doing the stuff that actually matters now anyway”) but he does tell Mocha a little about his life pre-Armstrong. He’d always wanted to be a musician but couldn’t get far after he got into a pretty bad accident when he was like. 12ish. He didn’t lose any limbs but his right arm was pretty much a lost cause, hence why signed up for Armstrong in the first place.

Chai kinda chickens out from the vulnerability talk and tries to awkwardly change the subject but I think it’s here that Mocha confides in him that this is really the first time in a while she’s opened up to someone like this. She’s a hell of a lot more forward when she’s got that liquid courage in her so she kinda lays it on thick; she tells him that she feels like she can really loosen up when she’s around him and that she considers him someone she’s really happy to call her friend.

(Chai is thanking whoever’s upstairs that he blushes when he’s tipsy cause erm. haha)

He offers to walk her home after they’ve both sobered up enough and to his surprise, Mocha’s the one asking when they can do something like this again. Chai’s like “HELL YES” and he promises to let them know if there’s another show in town and Mocha does the same and Chai is like “haha it’s a date then :-)” and Mocha’s like “what” and Chai goes “HAHA NOTHING GOODNIGHT” and leaves

That’s all I’ve got for this really but 99% of this is just them mutually pining for each other but both of them being either too stupid or too scared or both to make the first move.

Mocha’s got a whole laundry list of reasons why she’s hesitant (has gotten burned A Lot in the past and is extremely guarded w/ their heart) (aspec so they have a weird relationship with commitment and romance in general) (doesn’t wanna ruin her friendship with Chai) (kinda was taught that the guy should make the first move when she was growing up and hasn’t really unlearned that yet) (please god help this poor girl)

Chai on the other hand has uh. Never been in a relationship before. He’s had flings with both guys and girls in the past but none of it was ever that serious, mostly because he’d kind of impulsively push them away when he felt like they were getting too close. Growing closer to Peppermint and the others (platonically) I think has helped him a lot in learning to trust the people he cares about more, but there’s still a lot of that uncertainty right before the leap of faith that’s keeping him from taking it

I think if this relationship were to work both of them would have to gain each other’s trust beyond what they have as friends. They both struggle with vulnerability but I think that in spending enough time together they’d slowly start to break down each other’s walls.

Also 808 would 100000% play ultimate wingman here. She’d let the others in on what’s going on between the two of them which is probably good cause bless these two but I don’t know if they’d get together without an extra outside nudge LMFAOOO

(Speaking of which I wanna flesh out how Mocha meets the rest of the party but I’ll save that for another day cause it’s uh. 1:30 in the am and I’ve written WAY too much about this already LOL)

Misc. Stuff yippee

Mocha carries a briefcase around with her for work that’s infamously heavy to most people other than her. She carries it like it weighs nothing but there’s a reason she doesn’t hand it to other people if she knows they aren’t very physically strong.

This is because the briefcase is a compact version of her hammer. She keeps it concealed most of the time because she doesn’t typically need to fight, but she’s come to understand the need to be ready if things come to blows (and sometimes you just need to hit things really hard with a hammer. like after you try talking to an unresponsive client for the third day in a row)

She has a vinyl collection at home! Mocha only recently picked vinyl collecting as a hobby so it’s nothing too overly impressive (yet), but she likes the feeling of owning physical copies of things.

Also because of this exchange I had with my friend Cherie:

[autisticaradiamegido]

hi thank you for all the aradia love this blog

do you have a favorite headcanon about her, even a very small/niche one?

day 284

well i assume u mean aside from the one in the blog title lol

a fun one is this dumb imaginary report card i imagine sometimes

obviously i interpret her as autistic, but i also think shes asexual, sssomewhere on the aro spectrum? and agender! which is all fun because her name also starts with a. call that a straight-A student

[total-drama-brainrot]

my total drama oc is a reversal of the show's pre-established "villain" archetype.

right off the bat, they're just the worst person; outright antagonistic towards everyone and constantly causing conflict amidst the cast, openly orchestrating people's eliminations, blatantly cheating but in such a way that technically they're not breaking any rules- without disguising themself behind a mask of geniality (like alejandro, heather and julia did).

and they're kept around well into the competition because their villainy? it's ratings gold. people love a good antagonist, especially one that's so productive. the audience loves to hate them, or hates that they love them, and everyone is gunning for their downfall- which only becomes more and more tempting with every elimination.

plus, chris is more than happy to enable them so long as they keep things interesting.

interestingly enough, they never seem to use the confessional. or at least, none of their confessions are aired. well, that's not exactly true. one confession is aired, and it's them boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, and that they don't deserve to hear their thoughts.

consequently, the audience has no idea what they're thinking at any given time, only seeing glimpses of their schemes throughout the episode until everything comes to fruition- like a puzzle finally being completed. it's a smart move for the network, because it means the audience gets to watch their plans play out in 'real time' without their insight/foreknowledge, making it just as impactful to the viewers as it is to the competitors. it helps with immersion, which is a boon for the ratings!

until their elimination, wherein their confessions are played out on the big screen, and it's heartbreaking.

they explain, in their first confession, that they were accosted by chris at the beginning of the competition to act as the main antagonistic force for the show, and that he's turn a blind eye to their antics so long as they kept the viewers watching, even paying them a decent salary if their act was good enough. because they're smart- smart enough to play the rest of the cast like a fiddle if they wanted to, and chris wants them to.

what a great deal, right? being given blanket permission to be as conniving as possible, and a pay check to boot- who wouldn't take the opportunity?

and they round it out by "getting into character" on camera, sneering haughtily at the lens and- you guessed it- boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, before giggling dorkily at the silliness of their statement, commenting that it'd we way too obvious they were faking if they acted that snooty. they're a theatre kid at heart, so the idea of "playing the villain" is exciting! it's going to be so fun!

but their second confession is sombre. they're visibly tired, wiping away at the concealer under their eyes to reveal some heavy bags, and they're curled up into a pitiful ball in front of the camera. they divulge that the pressure to constantly live up to the shows expectations of antagonism is crushing, and their status as a social pariah is more draining than they'd care to admit, and that- despite the apparent glee they've been committing these acts of villainy with- being so outwardly morally corrupt has left them with a constant churning of guilt in their gut. they only agreed to be the "bad guy" for the money, which would help their family's financial situation tremendously, but they're growing increasingly uncertain if the reward justifies the risks.

by the third confession, they're actively sickened by their actions, eventually devolving from airing their frustrations, lamenting their choice to method act as such an awful person, to throwing up into the confessional's toilet as they hold back guilt-leaden tears and repeat a mantra of "i'm sorry, i'm sorry,". they're drowning in the murky waters of their persona, and backing out now would only lead to more scrutiny and suspicion from the people who were supposed to be their friends, and they know they'd deserve the mistrust. plus, backtracking from their deal with chris would jeopardise everything- from the dirty money they've earned from their antagonism to their place in the competition itself; they'd be voted out in a heartbeat without the network's safety blanket of plot armour!

they don't know what to do. they barely even know who they are anymore.

and then the camera's focus cuts to the real-time them, who's sat ashen-faced and deathly still as their weakest moments are broadcast, not only to the people who rightfully hate them, but to the whole world.

[isopodsoup]

When Hanzo was born he was a ridiculously sweet baby. Looked like something straight out of a 'cutest babies ever' list, never screamed even when he cried, had the cutest laugh ever that sounded like his mothers, always cuddly and loved hug naps. The baby lottery.

Sojiro got kinda confused why his family were so insistent babies were loud, horrible and stressful. He was actually starting to like this whole 'papa' thing. Another baby couldn't hurt, right?

Genji was all the ugly, snot nosed, screaming, hyperactive baby chaos Hanzo wasn't born with personified. Sojiro definitely regretted Genji for a while LMAO 💀 Especially when the damn kiddy leash couldn't come off without him bolting somewhere until he was like, 13...

[sophegg]

i love the egg child part of the qsmp so much i just need to put it into words. it’s such a smart idea for how to make sure the server stays active — it’s not an activity requirement, but if you don’t take care of your egg, it will die. theoretically, you could just let your egg die and you can let someone else take care of it when you aren’t free to join. but people fall in love with their little pixel children and then they WANT to be active, it’s not an obligation they have to fill but something their consistently excited to do.

and having the parents be an english streamer and a spanish streamer is such a good way to make sure they all interact with each other across the language barrier. sure, there is some in-game translation to make things easier, but they also end up talking on discord to coordinate childcare and in the screenshots we’ve seen i think it’s so interesting how they’ll often speak the other person’s language rather than just picking one to both use or only using their own. co-parenting also gives them the basis for building up strong and unique relationships between the streamers themselves and their qsmp characters, which would’ve been much harder to develop without being given a starting point given the language barrier.

it’s just so clear how much thought quackity has put into this server and it’s so fun to watch everyone fall in love with their little egg children

[dailyoyo]

paradox rambling. ok so like . when coin got murdered cube kind of fucking Gave Up. this isn't something she showed or maybe even realized she did immediately, but she did. like obviously both she and combo wanted some kind of closure, maybe even justice, but cube was already teetering on the dangerous line of nihilism and so what galvanizes combo to try to fucking DO SOMETHING (even if he isn't sure WHAT) just kind of causes cube to internally shut down.

and combo suggests they go to japan to follow the last lead coin left them, and cube feels almost nothing. this will fail, but they're doomed anyway, so might as well, right? and they go, and they're lost, and they're clueless, because what the hell DO you do when you're just two displaced small-time street vandals up against a bloody global corporate conspiracy?

and they split up to cover more ground and cube has just given up COMPLETELY, she feels fully validated in her defeatism. and from there she joins (and becomes leader of) poison jam, because nothing matters anyway, yeah? might as well just fuck around (...she does end up making the gang's entire mental health tank badly btw. probably part of the reason garam decides to leave the sewer to join the ggs - he wasnt a proper member of poison jam but REGARDLESS hanging around their steadily worsening vibes was getting STRESSFUL.)

and basically she ditches combo. dude's left wandering around an unfamiliar city alone. and yeah, he's pissed and hurt, but he's also concerned. he's rather good at recognizing the feelings of others and he gets that cube is in a totally fucked headspace. unfortunately the ability to sympathize doesn't do HIM much good, especially given any attempts he had to talk to cube about it at the time only end in him running out of optimism and patience. by the time yoyo talks him into joining the ggs he's pretty much out of options and is on the verge of himself giving up, and he's well-aware that if he continues as he is without any kind of safety net he's likely fucking doomed.

but joining the ggs turns out to actually be surprisingly good for him - cube's just kind of chosen to surround herself with desperate yes-men who will nod along to her nihilism like it's sage wisdom, but the ggs are a much more complicated and vocal mix of worldviews and it helps keep combo from reaching that drain he was circling and he's finally able to confront cube in a way that pulls her away from her inferiority complex-power trip-downward spiral.

and so she joins the ggs, and then gouji is brought down and all that. and yeah cube is still fucked in the head, and her friendship with combo is still in shards that will be difficult (but hopefully possible) to put back together, but ultimately its like. "hey. you're still alive. we're still alive, despite what you thought was gonna happen. and we're just gonna have to contend with that now, okay?"

and everything is fucked and by the nature of things will always be at least a little bit fucked but that doesn't mean they have to suffer and roll over and die. Look at me. Look at me .

[void-kissed]

taken life, given soul (Xenoblade Ship Week 2023 Day 1)

Vanea's work in constructing Face Nemesis requires a suitable pilot to house the soul of Lady Meyneth. After finally acquiring a worthy candidate, she is surprised to learn that the chosen Homs still lives after the procedure, and is even more surprised at her willingness to strike up conversation with a supposed enemy. (2311 words)The second part of this writing replaces the Face Nemesis cutscene from the end of Chapter Six.

This is the first meeting between Vanea and my self-insert, Citri! ..Not the most conventional or romantic of first meetings, but here it is in writing nonetheless! Despite being a couple of days late on the finishing, I decided that hopefully this could be fitted to this year's Xenoblade Chronicles ship week, as set up by a friend of mine - I hope that that's alright ^-^

(Anyone is welcome to comment on or reblog my work if they wish, as long as my DNI is respected! Tag list and document transcript are under the readmore.)

Tag list: @dragonsmooch | @hiraya-rbs | @bugsband | @sunlight-ships | @winds-beloved | @goatfaggot | @starlit-selfships | @stargazer-sims | @sharkyaoi | @detective-with-one-arm | @deepsea-loves | @wexlcr | @artificervaldi | @thatslikesometaldude (To be tagged in (or stop being tagged in) what I make, please see this post!)

Document transcript:

The Central Factory that lay within the chest of the Mechonis was where all Homs were taken after their capture, ready to be repurposed in the bodies of the Faced Mechon and used to assault the titan they had once dwelled upon. The recent attack on Colony 9 had provided the Mechon with some valuable resources, even if some of the initial reports were conveying worrying news about a new wielder of the Monado arising. Within the metal walls of the facility, new Mechon soldiers of all kinds were constantly being manufactured, mass-produced Faces among them. All operations were brilliantly orchestrated by the lone man spearheading the charge against the Bionis, who even now was doubtless deep in thought about how best to proceed in his efforts.

However, in an illuminated chamber that sat above the rest of the vast factory, his sister - a similarly-tall Machina woman with long grey hair - was overseeing the automated construction of a vast white-silver figure. Its parts all towered above her, interlaced with golden details and a doubled red diamond on its helmet-like faceplate. Below the mechanical figure lay an additional array of compatible pieces resembling parts of a human body, ready and waiting for a pilot to be fitted into them. Dozens of individual pieces were being put together by fine machinery, each one being subtly tweaked or modified as the woman carefully adjusted the many glowing controls before her, but the overall structure had yet to be properly assembled.

"Lady Vanea." came a sudden voice from the communication system above the woman. "There is a matter which requires your attention."

"What is it?" Vanea responded, addressing the empty chamber with cautious, distracted uncertainty. "I am still trying to resolve the faults in this Face's digits; can the matter not wait until this is resolved?"

The other voice seemed to pause, but only for a moment, before continuing its announcement. "It is about the pilot for the Face you are currently working on. Two potential candidates have been identified by our preliminary systems."

That was enough to catch Vanea's ear, as her eyes widened slightly before she finally turned her head to face the other voice. "..Very well. Please bring them here immediately, then."

A few robotic chirps could be heard, before further machinery began to whir into action - this time at the other end of the chamber, which Vanea had now turned to face with her back to the silver Face's controls. Its parts continued to be constructed without her direction, aside from what should have eventually become its pilot's fingers, given that they still lacked the proper range of movement to be fitted onto such an important Faced Mechon.

After a few moments, an opening appeared in the dark metal floor of the chamber, and the bodies of two young Homs women were lifted up through it, held up by actuators from the factory. Both looked somewhat similar at the first glance, being the same height and appearing of similar age - they both had golden blonde hair (though one wore it in a long dishevelled plait where the other's only fell to just past her shoulders), and as they were each scanned for further information, Vanea could see on the displays that they both had dark green eyes. One had freckles dotting her shoulders and rounded cheeks, and was littered with a number of scrapes and bruises, while the other's skin was clearer and she appeared to have suffered one particularly significant wound that had clawed at her clavicle.

"..What about these Homs has marked them out as worthy vessels?" Vanea asked, before the continued operations of the myriad machines circling each Homs began to output the pertinent results on the floating screens around her in the chamber. Carefully examining the data that had been gathered, Vanea found the answers lying within each girl's scanned memories, snapshots playing from them like a slideshow - the pair clearly shared a long history with not only each other, but also several other inhabitants of their home colony, and one boy with light blonde hair stood out particularly strongly to the Machina.

"..The Heir of the Monado." she said aloud in recognition.  "They were both friends with him, it would seem.."

She pored over the memories closely, trying to glean what information she could about the two Homs' personalities from them. It seemed like somewhat of an invasion of privacy to do this, but it was of the utmost importance that everything was as perfect as it could be for her current project, so such measures had to be taken to ensure the correct compatibility. Finally, after some time, she had made her decision - it was the freckled Homs with the longer hair who would be used for this purpose, due to the piercing injury sustained by the other one potentially making it difficult for the key component to be added correctly. The glimpses of her many days spent pursuing scientific endeavours with the Monado's newest wielder had also caught Vanea's eye more strongly.

"Please take this girl and prepare her for piloting Nemesis." the Machina stated to her assistant machinery, before turning to look over her shoulder at the unfortunate error still blaring from the screens behind her. "..Adjust the current pilot specifications to her body plan, but- try to preserve her original hands, if possible. That may have to be the workaround for the defects in the current digits, non-ideal though it may be.."

She then sighed, and addressed the chosen girl's companion.

"This other one does still hold promise, though.. Perhaps see whether any of our experimental designs might be compatible with her frame - Azure, for example."

As the machinery around her whirred to action once more according to her choices, and each girl was sent to her fate, Vanea took a moment to compose herself, staring up at the pieces of her dream - the central prism of golden metal standing out above all others.

A vessel had finally been found to hold the soul of her people's goddess, and with her divine revival thus at hand, the time had come for the tides of war to shift.

As long as everything in this experiment proceeded as it was meant to, the end to such ceaseless conflict may have finally begun.

What a shame that the Homs' past would be erased in the process..

==========

Enough time had passed for all the preparations to be made. The Homs girl chosen by Vanea now had most of her body replaced by the mechanical components made beforehand, each piece now individually modified to ensure maximum compatibility with her remaining reconfigured immune and nervous systems. The only parts of her left that still appeared biological were her head above the neck and her hands past the wrists, though even they had received artificial upgrades below the surface to better serve as the Faced Mechon's central nerve unit.

This pilot unit was now being lifted into the central cockpit of the much larger silver Mechon, which had now itself been fully assembled. Its spiked and winged structure hovered high above Vanea like an angel, ready and waiting dutifully for its first activation as the final touches were smoothly made to its surfaces.

“Face Nemesis." Vanea began, addressing the construct above her.

"Your frame is complete.  

As is the integration of your pilot."

Some of the assistant Mechon receded, revealing the pilot's unconscious figure sat in place within Nemesis' torso.

"This Homs..  

She holds memories of the Heir of the Monado.  

She appears to have seen him as a friend.  

..I wonder what she would have been like to know.  

But, that is not important here.  

It only means that her body will be an able vessel for you, my Lady.  

All that remains is the soul transfer..”

All other machines departed as the final Mechon descended, carrying the golden metal prism in its grasp. With exactly-calculated precision, the triangular component was fitted onto the chest of the Homs pilot. There was a moment of silence, before familiar red energy started to flow through the body of Face Nemesis; the soul component then started to glow with power, before settling down again as the armoured plating closed over the cockpit chamber.

"..I have fulfilled my duty." Vanea stated, allowing herself to smile as everything finally fell into place.

"You and only you can bring about a new age on Mechonis -

no, the entire world.

My mistress,

Lady Meyneth."

She waited, and then became all too aware of how empty the chambers around her still felt.

"..Lady Meyneth?"

A feminine voice suddenly rang out through Nemesis' speakers, but it was not the kind and caring tone that the Machina so fondly recalled, even all these centuries since she had last heard it directly.

"Ah.. Where.. W-Where am I..?"

Vanea's own voice caught in her throat from hearing such an unexpected response, and her brow furrowed. "You.. Are you Lady Meyneth?"

"What?" came the other voice, sounding weary and confused from inside the Faced Mechon. "No, my name is Citri. Um.. What *is* all of this..?"

At that moment, all Vanea could do was blink. She had never spoken with a Face pilot directly before, and the concern rising inside of her about what she had done wrong was making it all but impossible for her to properly address the anomaly.

"Something has gone wrong with the soul transfer.." she mumbled to herself, beginning to anxiously flit between the different screens and keyboards in her vicinity. "Yet, the scans themselves seem to be indicating that everything is properly in place.. Her presence is clearly *detectable*, and yet the central core is not showing signs of *activity*-"

A sense of panic flared within her, and her ability to maintain a composed exterior was rapidly deteriorating.

"My dearest goddess, what have I done wrong..?"

As she stifled a sob, the sound of mechanical joints moving rang out through the chamber, before they stopped (having been moved in error) and the torso plating opened back up instead.

"Um.. When you say "central core", do you mean this part?"

A tiny *tap-tap* noise, much quieter than any type of metal hitting metal could produce, prompted Vanea to lift her gaze. The Homs girl - *Citri*, as she had called herself - was tapping her still-organic fingernail on the prism of golden metal that was fitted to the chest of her new body.

"..Yes, that is correct." Vanea admitted, blinking uncertainly again.

"It.. feels as though something is inside of it." she then tried to explain, tilting her head as much as the cockpit would allow her to. "Some*one*, rather, if.. what you were saying before about your goddess is true. But.. I'm not sure whether she can wake up yet?"

The Machina took a moment to consider Citri's words. "That would be unfortunate, but.. it is reassuring to know that you are able to sense her presence."

Citri gave a small nod, very tentatively, but her expression was uncertain.

"..What was supposed to have happened?" she then asked.

"That Lady Meyneth's soul would be swiftly transferred into your body, overwriting your own, for her subsequent use as a vessel to pilot Face Nemesis." Vanea stated matter-of-factly. Then she stopped.

"..That was rather callous of me, wasn't it?"

"Somewhat, yes." admitted Citri, who would have mustered a smile if not for how disoriented she still felt. "But if nothing else, you definitely answered me clearly with how you said it, so.. thank you."

An awkward silence then settled in between the two.

"..Could you possibly tell me more about what's happened? What you've done to me, and all?"

The genuine nature of such a question, and the absolute lack of malice that she had expected to permeate through any Homs unwillingly stolen by Mechon, made it impossible for Vanea to simply dismiss the girl's curiosity. Something softened in her expression, and she opened her mouth to try and form an explanation, but the same voice from before piped up through the communication systems as she did so.

"Lady Vanea." it called out. "Master Egil wishes to see you."

This made her pause with some uncertainty. "Understood. Tell him I will see him.. momentarily." she then settled on.

"Acknowledged."

The device whirred away as Vanea's gaze fell back onto Citri, her red eyes meeting her green ones for a moment before neither felt able to hold the gaze further.

"..I apologise for this interruption, but- you may have my word that I shall return to these chambers once I have finished meeting with my brother." she then said. "It may well be that Lady Meyneth has properly awakened by that time, but if not, then.. If you would listen to our story, then I see no harm in sharing it with you."

"I understand." replied Citri. "That means a lot, Vanea."

She smiled at the mention of her name. "You miss little, I see. Very well then. I shall return shortly, Citri."

With nothing more to say for the moment, she then left her alone within Face Nemesis.

Only *after* she had turned to leave the chamber did Vanea realise her own instinctive use of the girl's own name, and she was surprised to have found herself recalling it from one mention. Nevertheless, she persisted in her next objective, doing her utmost to regain her usual composure even as she silently came to the conclusion that it was a name she wished to remember, despite part of her also knowing it was not a name she should have ever had a chance to learn.

Thankfully for both, there would still be many opportunities in the days that followed to converse, and to learn, and to get to know each other more than either could have envisioned beforehand.

[lesbianlovelanguage]

Post S3 Billy lives AU except the Mindflayer’s control cause traumatic brain injury which results in Post-Traumatic Epilepsy. (read more about pte here)

before I start just want to clarify that most of these are based on MY personal journey with epilepsy, and it may look different for other people 🤷‍♀️

some hcs:

He lives with Steve after he wakes up from the coma, bc he couldn’t go back to living with Neil. How the hell would he explain anything? He’s drowning in NDAs that say he can’t talk about any of it, but Steve already knows. Plus big empty house = perfect.

The first seziure doesn’t happen until about 2 weeks after everything’s calmed down. He’s just going about his morning routine, eating breakfast, when he blacks out. The next thing he knows is some random dude in a paramedic uniform asking stupid ass questions like “What’s his name” and “Who’s the president”. He’a able to answer most of them, but they still take him to the hospital.

Cue four weeks of various MRIs and EEGs (who knew there was a 48-hour EEG where he had to take home a weird looking tv thing?) He’s diagnosed with PTE and put on a new anticonvulsant. They also transfer his primary care to someone whose actually in the know about the UD, and it starts to kind of work as a form of therapy since he has to go once every month at first.

Steve becomes UNBEARABLE after his diagnosis. Any sudden noises Billy makes result in a frantic and terrified Steve barging in and asking if he’s okay (no matter where Billy is, including the bathroom).

They learn about absence seziures and wham. Suddenly any time Billy spaces out thinking about something, whether it’s a car problem he’s trying to fix or disassociating after a nightmare, Steve instantly thinks he’s having a seizure and yelling at Billy. Eventually they come to an understanding, Billy acknowledging that it’s Steve’s way of expressing his care, while Steve learns to calm his reactions to just a verbal confirmation.

Billy has to sell his Camaro. It was a really depressing moment but he’s not legally allowed to drive it and won’t be anytime soon, so it’s not worth the upkeep. He cried for two nights straight.

The most embarrassing moment of Billy’s life is the first time he has a seizure in front of the kids. He’s worried he’s traumatised the poor kids who’ve already gone through so much. Until Dustin makes a stupid joke and everyone laughs it off.

He still does pull Max aside and talk to her personally because she’s taking it the hardest. He’s embarrassed so it starts off aggressive as hell, just all blustering and “Don’t treat me like fucking glass Maxine, I’m fucking fine.” But after they scream at each other for a minute, Max just starts… sobbing, and Billy realizes that “oh shit she really does actually care” It’s the real turning point in their relationship (although they have a long way to go)

He never really goes into a like ‘remission’ period, but he learns what will push him over the edge. No weed (he’s a little sad, but he finds he doesn’t need the escape as much now that Neil isn’t there). He gets sleep and eats regularly. Absolutely NO flashing lights (even slower ones tend to give him at least a migraine). Diligently takes his meds everyday. He’s never 100% seziure free, but the time between them grows until it’s been years between them.

He gets an alert dog, and it gives him a little more comfort. He’d been crashing on Steve’s couch for a while because everyone’s scared of him living alone, but he used the money from selling the Camaro to purchase a golden retriever named Fitz because the agency has a terrible sense of humor.

Max is constantly coming up with new stupid metaphors for having a seizure. The top one is still currently “his brain deciding to do the worm for no reason.”

Once the time between seizures goes from months to years, he’s able to get his license again and he packs up a small picnic, gets Fitz in Steve’s mom van, and goes to the Quarry for the first time in a long time. The peace is nice.

[homosociallyyours]

.

[pwurrz]

eiden’s discovered an incredibly cute fact about yakumo. when you compliment him at first, he’ll get that trademark shy smile on his pretty face with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

the more you compliment and praise him, the more he’ll squirm and stutter and try to hide, whining softly and trying to brush off your words, downplaying his talents in a futile attempt to ignore the embarrassment that comes from being the center of such positive attention.

and it’s not often that eiden feels slightly mean, the urge to tease yakumo and push his buttons until.. something happens.

then again, if he didn’t continue teasing yakumo he’d never find out yakumo cries from embarrassment when you praise him too much.

it definitely catches eiden off guard at first: he didn’t want to make yakumo cry, he just wanted to tell him how amazing he is! but a little questioning revealed it’s not an unhappy reaction, necessarily, rather it’s just the result of so many positive feelings welling up inside of him until they overwhelm and boil over in the form of tears.

eiden doesn’t like seeing yakumo cry, but he has to admit his flustered reaction is extremely cute.

…

to say yakumo isn’t used to being praised this much is an understatement. he’s definitely been praised before, but that was mostly when he was a child, and it was mostly given out by his grandparents.

when he met eiden and the other clan members, and switched to living at the mansion full time, he wasn’t expecting to receive so many compliments, given out with such ease. but he could handle the nice words of his new friends, his heart feeling warmed by their reactions to his cooking.

eiden though.. eiden complimented him in ways he’d never been complimented before. he’s never been called pretty before. never been told he’s adorable when he blushes. never been told he’s charming. and he’s definitely never been told he has a handsome smile.

it makes yakumo happy, it really does, but it’s also incredibly overwhelming. eiden means so much to him, and it seems like eiden thinks highly of him in return. it’s just.. he’s not sure if he’s allowed to feel so happy, the warm feeling of love spreading through his body with each quickened beat of his heart. does he really deserve to be the subject of so much of eiden’s attention? he’s not used to be praised for things unrelated to his skills. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of such kind words.

he manages to communicate this to eiden (somehow. he doesn’t know how he did when his words were muffled behind his hands and the embarrassment welling up inside of him making him feel like he was hyperventilating, but he did), and eiden just sighs in understanding. the smile on his face and the mischievous glint in his eye makes yakumo’s heart skip a beat, though.

“well… if you don’t believe you deserve to be praised, i guess i’ll just have to compliment you every single day until you have no choice but to believe me!”

[intimidatingsqueak]

『ぷっ』すま: 1999.3.26 (intermission part deux)