#konoha ➼ headcanon

[forusomimiya]

"You like it, huh?" he asks even though you're too busy feeling his fingers quicken in you to respond. "Being a mess, I know" he leaves your pussy aside and drags you to the edge of the bed just enough to bend your legs towards your chest and lick the mess he's created with his fingers.

"W-what are you doing?!"

“Cleaning you up" he lies as he sucks and licks all over you until he tastes your second spill.

SUNA, atsumu, kageyama, IWAIZUMI, KONOHA, MATTSUN, semi eita, sakusa

[kitasgloves]

hq characters realizing they're stupidly in love with you

They stare endearingly while you're focused on cooking instant ramen for them because you don't know how to cook:

Yamaguchi, Daichi, Iwaizumi, Ushijima, Semi, Kita, Osamu

When they find you drooling in your sleep absolutely adorable:

Kageyama, Asahi, Kenma, Yaku, Akaashi, Konoha, Suna, Hirugami, Sakusa

They laugh so hard when you say the corniest and dumbest joke:

Yachi, Sugawara, Hanamaki, Bokuto, Tendou, Hoshiumi, Komori

They sigh lovingly when you're picking your nose while scrolling through your phone:

Hinata, Nishinoya, Oikawa, Atsumu

They make fun of you for being clumsy:

Tsukishima, Kuroo, Matsukawa, Shirabu

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[dark-konohagakure2]

hii, can i request noncon madara capturing tobiramas virgin daughter during a battle and then using her as his personal slave? sorry if this isnt a request you're comfy writing !

tw: noncon, age difference, size difference, kidnapping, enslavement, abuse, breeding, rough sex, degradation, sadism

All characters depicted are 18+

There are very few people that Madara can claim to loathe with his entire being, but if he had to pick one person, it would be Tobirama Senju. Not only had the man constantly discriminate against his clan, but he was also responsible for Izuna's death. Now Madara wants vengeance, and he already has the perfect plan to make Tobirama feel the same pain as him.

During the Uchiha's next battle against the Senju, his main target is not Tobirama, but his daughter, and capturing such a weak girl is almost laughably easy. Madara thinks it's only fair, Tobirama stole someone he loved, and now Madara will steal somebody he loves.

Despite his stoney face, internally Madara feels as giddy as a child on Christmas morning, he now has his hands on not only Tobirama's daughter but Hashirama's niece as well, and he has complete and total power over her, and he plans on using that to his full advantage.

Once he has her in his grasp, Madara will do everything in his power to strip her of all her human dignity, stripping her of her clothes, slapping her around, and treating her like less than dirt, tearing her apart with his harsh words and razor sharp tongue as he makes use of her.

"Shut your mouth you Senju whore. This is what you deserve for having such tainted blood running through your veins, so be quite before I rip your tongue out."

Madara is very rough with his newly acquired slave, holding her down roughly with his bigger body, using his full weight to force her thighs against her chest as he ruthlessly claims her virginity, almost animalistic with the intensity he employs as he breeds her.

He is a much bigger and stronger man than most, so Madara can easily hold her down or lift her up as he takes advantage of her. He'll twist and bend her body in uncomfortable positions to increase her pain and his own pleasure. Madara doesn't care about her comfort, he believes that she deserves every bit of suffering she gets for daring to be a Senju.

Madara doesn't just use her for sex, but for labor as well, making her do demeaning tasks such as cleaning the blood off his weapons and armor whenever he returns from another one of his "dances", he'll even gloat to her during this, telling her with relish about how the very blood she's cleaning off of him is the blood of her fellow clansmen.

Whenever Madara is done with her, he leaves her broken and bruised everytime, his seed leaking out of her holes and her body trembling in equal parts fear and pain. Madara enjoys her pain, knowing that he's not only hurting the girl herself, but her father as well by proxy.

"Does it hurt? Good. That's just a fraction of the suffering your damned father caused me when he killed my brother. Get used to it, bitch. This is your life now..."

Madara sees this as a twisted form of justice in a way. Tobirama took a family member from him, so Madara will simply make himself a new one, and he'll use that Senju bastard's own flesh and blood to do so, the thought of having a half Senju child both disgusting and exciting Madara.

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! characters react to you confessing °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

here’s a little smau of how i think the hq boys would react to you confessing to them ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

(also ignore the switch from light to dark mode again i forgot i was making this last night 😭)

characters: bokuto, akaashi, konoha, kuroo, kenma, lev, yaku, oikawa, iwaizumi

i’m sorry i lowk hate how i wrote kuroo here but i can’t commit hard enough to go rewrite him at the moment, maybe ill make kuroo boyfriend texts to make up for this 😭

[seohyun0306]

I’ll die for the headcanon that Tobirama is actually the youngest of all his brothers and Butsuma’s children. It adds such a delicious layer of complexity and tragedy to his character and upbringing that is so, so enjoyable to unpack and explore. You can pry it from my cold, dead hands but as much oldest daughter energy as he gives, Tobirama was the baby of his family that was forced into being the pseudo oldest sibling.

[luvnami]

how the haikyuu boys fart

an | this is just for shits (haha) and giggles, don't take it too seriously

polite lil toot - asahi, aone, akaashi (says ‘excuse me’ after), komori

lets it rip loud and proud - bokuto, nishinoya, atsumu (dutch ovens osamu), lev, tendou

silent but stinky - kuroo, sugawara (blames it on asahi), osamu (cuz of all the damn natto he eats)

earth shattering reverb, no smell - daichi, ushijima, sakusa (only when he gets sick)

burps instead - iwaizumi, konoha, suna (his record is 10.2 seconds long)

honourable mentions - goshiki (sharted himself once as a kid and is too scared to fart unless its in the toilet), hoshiumi (can fart on command and on beat), tanaka (only farts in his sleep)

[oshygoshy]

“do you think i’m pretty?”

word count - 567 words

warnings - cringe couple activities (im so lonely) also i'm not sure abt some chars so i put question marks but these can fit any and all ur faves. lmk if i forgot anyone!!

a/n - back from the dead. school started up again and im depressed and i have so many exams next week but here i am procrastinating!! maybe one day i'll write something again but in the mean time have this (it's been marinating in my notes app for like 3 months by now)

“yeah, you’re cute. adorable, even...” 

he said with a million-watt smile, his fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes against your thigh. you raised an eyebrow, questioning his taste. right now, you were wearing his old pajama shirt and bottoms which were both faded and fraying at the hems. out of all the times to call you cute, did he really choose right now? 

he leaned in to kiss the tip of your nose lightly, his fingers making their way up to your hands from your legs. he held them in his own warm palms, and kissed the corner of your lips. “don’t give me that look,” he whispered. “i think you’re the cutest wearing my clothes, y’know.” he kissed your cheek. “it makes me feel at home,” he said against your lips, and you couldn’t help but smile with him. something about his charm was infectious, and no matter how much you might doubt yourself, you knew he would always love you, tattered pajamas or not. 

hinata, bokuto, komori, yaku (demon senpai or not he definitely has a soft spot), aone, asahi, hanamaki, yamaguchi? aran? tendou? kenma? kageyama?

“beautiful. absolutely gorgeous,” he breathed.

your eyes widen, taken aback at the sincerity of his tone. a light flush couldn’t help but creep its way up onto your cheeks, and you look away, abashed. his fingers brushed against your cheek, tilting your face back at him. “why are you being so shy?” he questioned. “i mean it. truly. even the simplest things you do make me fall in love all over again.” his thumb rubbed soothing circles against your soft skin. "every time you fall asleep on my shoulder, every time you raise an eyebrow at me, and even right now when your cheeks are glowing pink make my heart stutter like we're on my first date," he said with a laugh. you could feel your cheeks burn aflame at his honesty, and couldn't help but look away. “quit blushing,” he teased. “i can’t focus when you’re looking so pretty like that.” 

akaashi, sugawara ("little shit") koushi, sakusa, the hirugami bros (acting like they don't have a combined word count of 20 in the entire series), iwa chan, daichi, semi, kita, ushijima?, tsukki?

“you’re pretty sexy.  hot, if i dare be promiscuous.” 

you roll your eyes at first, huffing through your nose and turning your attention back to your phone before he drags you back to his side. “i’m being serious,” he murmured into the side of your ear, his breath tickling your skin. “it goes beyond your looks, you know. it’s the way you walk, the way you carry yourself…the way you’re so confident in our relationship and in me,” he said, heartfelt. “that kind of unwavering confidence? unbelievably hot.” he leaned back, taking in your entire body. “also, you have a nice ass, which really helps.” he deserved the slap he got, but he couldn't help but grin at the sound of your giggles. he placed a chaste kiss against your temple, his hand looping around your waist again. "keep doing whatever you're doing. i'm in love with you, always. it's hard not to be when you're so irresistible," he whispered against your skin. 

kuroo, THE miya twins, meian, futakuchi, daishou, konoha (that legendary "nah, don't wanna" panel lives in my heart), oikawa, mattsun fs,  suna, noya, i would say tanaka but i don't want to be a homewrecker

[nardo-headcanons]

About Shisui Uchiha

just some shower thoughts i had about him. this is very headcanon heavy and rather vague at times.

tw for talks about suicide, manipulation, trauma, abuse, etc

tagging: @uchihaharlot @pxssy-stuntin-for-itxchi @lalalover33-blog @burning-bubble @naruto-scribblings-j

Unlike Itachi, who was born during the last year of the great Shinobi war, it is safe to say that Shisui was born while it was still going on. So naturally, he was exposed to the worst side humanity had to offer, most likely traumatizing him in the process.

His mother is never mentioned, so I assume she must have died during his birth or in his early childhood. His father, most likely ravaged by illness before he even entered the battlefield, lost his left leg, leaving him with phantom pains and high medical bills. As a born shinobi, Shisui’s father lacked the funds and education to pursue any other path of career, leaving his child as the only breadwinner of his family. Shisui probably had to spend his entire childhood and youth slaving away just to keep his father and himself afloat. Additionally, he took care of a terminally i’ll man who didn’t even remember his son’s name. Of course, this would lead to Shisui being very perceptive of the psychology of the ones around him, how else could he search for a sign of his father’s state health changing?

Shisui often spent time wondering what it’s like to have a family, a family in which he is allowed to be what he is: a child. Someone who is cared for, someone who is looked after. Despite being an Uchiha, his relation to Kagami Uchiha - the Uchiha allied with Tobirama, the very person planting the seed for all the discrimination the Uchiha would face, up to a point of their genocide, would probably lead him to feel ostracized within his own clan. And like everyone of us, he is trying to find the balance between individuality and belonging - the latter being the one he lacked. His abilities as an Uchiha become a defining factor of identity for him, leading to him being willing to let a comrade via withholding aid - just on the basis of that comrade potentially being stronger than him. Once his comrade dies, the young Uchiha is ravaged by feelings of guilt, by the awareness that the blood of his friend is on his hand.

But nevertheless, he is blessed with a new Uchiha ability - the mangekyou sharingan. His entire life he had to enter a role he didn’t want to be in, robbing him of memories he could have had. So what better mangekyou ability to have than the one that alters memories, and, in extension, alters your role in the world?

Shisui’s resentment against his Uchiha identity starts bubbling up inside him again, and being a shinobi who frequents B- or even A-Rank missions as a literal teenager (how else would you pay for your father’s medical debt as a shinobi, eh?) he was closer to the village from the start. Hailed as the strong and talented Uchiha boy, taking on missions to serve his village, behind the facade a broken kid forced to grow up way too quickly. His first serious doubts begin when he is forced to kill Mukai Kohinata, a direct reflection of Shisui, just the other way around: a father wanting nothing but funds to care for his dying child.

Things don’t get better when the tension between the village and the Uchiha rise. His own brethren or the collective - who will you support? Getting into Shisui’s mind and twisting his perception of what’s right is an easy game for Danzo, almost too easy. A civil war breaking out in Konoha would be a repetition of his initial trauma - the one thing Shisui wants to prevent the most. Shisui starts feeling conflicted, until he finally stumbles upon THE miracle solution: forcefully keeping up the status quo by manipulating the leader of the revolution - an unpleasant reality, but better than the Uchiha clan’s extermination or a civil war breaking out, right? To Shisui, atleast. And honestly, who could blame him? As a ninja who graduated young, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he lacks the methodical and critical thinking outside of the parameters of violence and manipulation he is used to from Danzo and the shinobi world.

And then it happens. He agrees to suppress the revolution of his own ethnic group just for the sake of keeping up a false sense of peace, and suddenly, his co conspirators, the man that is supposed to be guarding him, leading him, suddenly abandons him and steals his eye? Shisui’s entire identity as the Uchiha boy from Konoha collapses and he doesn’t know what to think or believe anymore. In his last moments, he becomes aware of the utter pointlessness of the killing and the brutality of the shinobi system, the sheer feeling of powerless overwhelming him. At this point, death seems like a sweeter option than continuing to live powerlessly in such a system.

Shisui is a skilled ninja, but not always in contact with his emotions. Therapy is a rarity in the leaf, with even the counselors themselves not being able to give advise outside of the parameters of what’s “acceptable” in the hidden leaf.

So, what better way to hide your agony than behind a -albeit manufactured- goofy smile?

[canonsinthehead]

love ur random village headcanons!! what do you think is the beauty standard in the villages? for girls & boys

GALAXY BRAIN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT! YOU ARE ONTO SOMETHING...

It's a subject that has been on the back of my mind for a while so imma try to make sense of the few full paper notes I have... --------------------------------------------------//////////////------------------

Naruto Headcanons - Beauty Standards in Different Villages.

BEFORE WE START, i wanna remind the fact that not fitting these description doesnt make you ugly. It is what is considered ideal based on the village's cultural norms, history, social norms and etc.

KONOHA:

Because of the founders Hashimara & Madara's traits, like blonde hair or other flashy colors (except red) are perceived as uncommon/strange.

Over time, the standard switched from Hashirama features to Madara's.

Ironically, Konoha pumps out the most plastic surgeons than any surgeons than any other nations. Most of them operate outside the Country of Fire.

STANDARD FOR KONOHA MEN:

In the past, long hair in men was admired and desired as it signified you live long enough for them to grow. Wow! you made it this long, you must be strong but this ideal is lost as the preference shifted towards shorter haircuts.

Long slim face

High nose bridge and long nose

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

(obviously, Sasuke Uchiha & Minato Namikaze)

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Yuji Itadori (Jujutsu Kaisen) & Kang Dahyeok (Killer Crush)

STANDARD FOR KONOHA WOMEN:

Same here, Having long hair has always been perceived as the pinnacle of female beauty. those who cut their hair short or never grow their strands past shoulder-length often get bullied.

Delicate Hands

Round Eyes

Oval Face Shape

PALE SKIN (applies to everybody), as crazy as it sounds, Konoha & Kiri are nations where social status bumps up your attractiveness but let's be real for a minute. The Hyuugas & Uchihas are upheld to such a high pedestal for their social status AND adherence to the beauty standard (pale + oval face + slim long nose)

Also if you have something with your eyes (whatever it is), it's perceived as a positive since special ocular appearances is associated with great physical stregnth.

Along with all the features previously mentioned, if you have a (face + spirit) that shines like the sun or burns like an unstoppable fire, it is considered very attractive on both genders.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Ino Yamanaka & Mito Uzumaki

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) & Shirley Fenette (Code Geass)

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IWA:

STANDARD FOR IWA MEN:

Being larger is seen as a positive. it is believed that a thicker male body proves it is wealthy and well-fed. On the other side of this, skinny shaming among men is crazyyyyyyy (they don't want to leave Deidara alone). Not all men are bigger or thicker but there's high chances you'll get look down upon for being "too skinny".

if you look like you can't carry a bag of rocks, you don't fit the standard. there's a saying mentioning the need to be "build like a rock" and how its a measure of men's value based on appearance

Larger nose are liked on men, in other nanations (excluding Kumo) would cut you off the beauty strandard by this feature alone

"You need to eat more." "You look like a twig"

facial hair

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Monga

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Dalton (One Piece) & Genjirou Tanigaki (Golden Kamuy)

STANDARD FOR IWA WOMEN:

The athletic slim built has always been the standard along with being tall since the average female height is the highest in the world

the perfect combo is perceived to be slim built + long legs.

due to the influence of the massive adult/corn industry, large breasts became valued in women and made their way to the beauty standard.

breast augmentation surgery is a huge and profitable industry but most of the surgeons performing it come from the counrty of fire.

going with the element associated with each village (in this case stone), earth tones colors are seen as more attractive.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Iwa Kunoichi

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Nico Robin (One Piece) & Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter (Sailor Moon)

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KUMO:

Clear and bright skin, no matter the skin tone.

Yes, Darker skin tones are heavely celebrated are seen as a sign of health and vigority. It is the only nation to consider this feature in its beauty standards modeled after the bloodline of the Raikage. It lead to the prevelence of tanning salons all over the country

in case you don't have it, it's still fine since Kumo is very considered of its diversity. But if you dont, please have clear skin since acne and pimples is frown upon on both genders especially among adults

Kumo has something for pale hair, the hair dye industry is huge over there.

STANDARD FOR KUMO MEN:

it may sound weird but a neat hairline. Also if you start balding, you might as well shave your whole head before being sent to bullying jail.

Strong legs are seen as the peak of mobility and aesthetic for men.

slightly longer faces

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Karai, C & Raikage (for his immaculate physique and the standard for older men)

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Kento Nanami (Jujutsu Kaisen) & Aomine Daiki (Kuroko no Basket)

STANDARD FOR KUMO WOMEN

Curvier bodies (Coke bottle body shape) are upheld as the peak of the female beauty standard. hence why Karui was mocked for being slim and small chested. for this very reason, Kumo is the Lipposuction captial of the world.

plump/bigger lips

Winged Doe eyes

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Karui & Mabui.

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Alex Benedetto (GANGSTA), Yoruichi Shihouin (Bleach) & Balalaika (Black Lagoon)

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KIRI

for centuries, just being of a higher caster could carry you to higher levels of physical attractiveness

STANDARD FOR KIRI MEN:

Shark teeth are a sign of great beauty in men for various ethnicites trough out the country of Water. It signifies resistance and tenacity as many past regimes attemped to supress/breed out this physical trait. Some men shave their own teeth to achieve this look.

Small firece eyes

Short Dark hair

A large and muscular back

Being Tall, by average male residents are the tallest in the world but the out of reach ideal sits around 190-195 cm. Men this height were prime picks for millitary and guerillas trough out Kiri's history, now most of them this height are affiliated with criminal behaviour but aknowdledge for the physical strenght a body this big can offer.

(NSFW) A large schlong. it is a feature more present among the lower caste demography and has been demonized by Yagura's regime as a mean to dehumanize this male population. Ironically, according to many traditions it is perceive as a sign of fretility and often goes hand-in-hand with the height.

it is only recently that "softer" features made their way into the male beauty standard

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Kimimaro & Zabuza Momochi

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Kuroko Tetsuya & Kagami Taiga (Kuroko no Basket), both fit the Kiri modern beauty standard (if you ignore Kuroko's height)

According to the most popularized/old school/traditional beauty standard than it would be: Guts (Berserk) & Gyomei Himejima (Demon Slayer)

STANDARD FOR KIRI WOMEN:

Feline/Siren like eyes

Brown or Black Hair

For the longest, curvier bodies were associated with prostitutes belonging to gang or the mobster's female counterpart. The standard have always been average built for women. It goes along why many found Sera very vulgar when she started her carrer. They associated her appearance with women of lower caste.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Suiren

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Yomi Isayama (Ga-Rei Zero)

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SUNA:

While facial markings/paintings are related to your family/clan/lineage, they are perceived as a great sign of beauty in men and women

head coverings are used for all types of reasons but are well regarded for both genders since it represent the ultimate form of modesty

Unfortunately, Suna has to be the most fatphobic nation out there as bigger people seen as unfit for (basic) survival in a desertic country

STANDARD FOR SUNA MEN:

Since Gaara became Kazekage, Red Hair became a sign of beauty and success regardless of being a rare trait in the Country of Wind. It is ironic since it has been a feature many people have gotten severely bullied for in the past (Gaara was when he was a child).

Slight Tan/Olive Skin

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Gaara/Sasori & Shira

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Shanks (One Piece)

STANDARD FOR SUNA WOMEN:

Thick Eyebrows

you can see some of the most dramatic make ups in Suna (the golden highlights+ full eyeshadow+ contour). it goes the opposite way of other nations since the clothes designs are more simplistic and stays away from anthing considered too flashy. So makeup operates as a for of self-expression without standing out too much.

small chest

brown hair

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Maki

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Cana (Fairy Tail) & San (Princess Mononoke)

[erumai-maadu]

more Konoha 12 headcanons bleaker

i’m gonna assume that last word is a typo???? unsure. BUT HAVE MORE HEADCANONS!!!!

team 7 and team gai are always together and team 10 and team 8 are always together. such is the consequence of your jounin senseis dating

tenten’s Eternal RivalTM is temari but she’s never actually admitted it out loud. shikamaru is so scared that tenten is going to steal his girlfriend through the power of youth and sweaty challenges

lee and sasuke are both insane about training and randomly challenge each other to taijutsu battles. as well as lee and naruto get along, him and sasuke have a similar intensity and focus level when it comes to training and lee prefers to train with sasuke when he can’t train with any of his team or with sakura

speaking of team 7 and taijutsu, sakura trains with team gai all of the time, especially with lee. their sparring has gotten so out of hand that tsunade had a special training ground made for them out in the mountains so they’d stop breaking the communal training grounds and pissing off all the chunin and jounin.

shikamaru and neji play shogi together all the time. neji has only beaten shikamaru a few times, always when he’s distracted thinking about something else

ino, shino, and tenten are the snoops/detectives and somehow know everything about everyone all the time

slugs aren’t bugs but shino still goes wild over sakura’s slug summon. deeply upset about naruto’s toad summons though

choji and lee have spicy curry eating contests all the time and are basically keeping the curry of life shop open with their patronage alone

kiba, naruto, and tenten are the agents of chaos of the group and their victim is somehow always neji

hinata hangs out a lot with team gai because of neji and is really close with lee and tenten. lee is one of the people who helps bring hinata out of her shell and become more confident in herself

shino insists on addressing all of team gai with ‘senpai’ until they finally get him to stop after they all get promoted in the second chunin exams.

lee cries whenever someone calls him senpai

the girls all hang out together regularly and have sleepovers at each others’ places all the time. the guys see the girls making plans to hang out and THEN decide they should plan something too

neji isnt allowed to play card games because everyone thinks he’ll use his byakugan to cheat. hinata is allowed to play but nobody ever notices that she keeps using her byakugan. kiba has lost so much money betting against her

sasuke nearly gets banned a few times for trying to use his sharingan but he gets clowned on for it because it’s so noticeable and he gives up after that

sakura loves using her strength to carry people around. she’ll just pick up her friends and start walking around, especially if she’s drunk

speaking of getting drunk, sakura tenten and choji have insane alcohol tolerances and because of that they’re usually the one paying for drinks when the k12 go out. sakura is the one to beat in drinking contests and the only one who has is tsunade

[eiloveir]

→﹐naruto hc! <3

‹𝟹 :: ⭑⭒  🗨 !!  naruto characters and their social media habits

warnings: rushed and out-of-character

note: this is just something I decided to create on a whim, though I was inspired by a post on a clock app. i imagined how these characters might use social media, so here it is.

characters: konoha 12

𓋭  ۫   ☔️ ﹒ ❊  ͚

uzumaki naruto

this guy’s the reigning king of shitposting. he’s got a knack for calling out anything he deems “overrated,” and he doesn’t hold back. his feed is a never-ending stream of complaints about everything from minor inconveniences to full-blown disasters. you might see posts about how his ramen was too hot or things like pineapple on pizza. he’s the kind of troll who wouldn’t hesitate to pick a fight with kids on roblox, turning every argument into a battle that leaves them in tears and scrambling to save face (konohamaru). he would also be the type to start internet beefs over the most mundane things. if you’re ever scrolling through your feed and see a heated argument about why a certain trend is lame, chances are he is behind it.

haruno sakura

the feminist and activist extraordinaire! she’s the type of woman who not only supports human rights in every way possible but also cheers on the LGBTQ+ community with gusto—because, spoiler alert, she’s part of it. she’s someone who’s fully aware of the impact social media can have and is determined to use it to amplify her voice and make a real difference. i also think she has multiple social media accounts like a pro—there’s her private twitter account where she rants about how messed up the government is, her ao3 account where she writes fan fiction with a side of social commentary, and of course, her tumblr where she’s a curator of memes, political discourse, and everything in between. (me)

uchiha sasuke

god, bruh. this dude is basically a social media ghost—he hardly ever posts anything, but when he does, it’s like the internet has just won the lottery. he’s that guy who seems to do absolutely nothing yet somehow manages to grab everyone’s attention. he’s not really into posting on social media, but when he does, it’s always so aesthetically pleasing that you’d think he has a personal stylist and a professional photographer on speed dial. he doesn’t even try to make his posts look good; he just rolls out of bed and somehow manages to be effortlessly cool. man could post a picture of his breakfast and it would still get more likes than your entire feed.

nara shikamaru

this lazy ass (me) would probably end up being a streamer, posting about his win streaks and achievements in every game he plays. despite barely lifting a finger to do anything else, he’d be all over social media, bragging about every victory and high score. he’s the kind of guy who’d stream his gaming marathons from the comfort of his bed, racking up followers while casually lounging around in sweatpants. If there’s a leaderboard, you can bet he’s at the top, and he’s not shy about letting everyone know it.

yamanaka ino

girlie is the famous influencer! she’s always buzzing with posts about the latest fashion trends, beauty tips, and social events. like, you know, the kind of Instagram girlie who’s always flaunting her ootd and setting style standards. she’s practically a fashion icon with every outfit she wears. she’s also the type to post inspirational messages like “wear whatever makes you feel good” or “your body, your choice.” she’s incredibly popular across all her social media platforms and has a tiktok account—she’s all about those thirst traps and dance covers.

akimichi choji

my boi would definitely be the type to either watch mukbangs obsessively or become a mukbanger himself. he’d spend hours trying to replicate recipes he’s seen online, turning his kitchen into a culinary experiment zone. and you can bet he’d be posting all about it—sharing his attempts, successes, and occasional fails. his feed would be full of mouthwatering food shots and videos of him devouring his creations, proving that he’s just as passionate about cooking and eating as he is about sharing it with the world.

tenten

she’d regularly post about her daily life, giving followers an inside look at her studies or work. her feed would be filled with a lot of photos showcasing her favorite books, snapshots of her workout routines, and candid moments with her for lifers. she’s all about fitness, making her social media a hub for health tips and personal growth. you’d see her posting everything from meal prep ideas to gym selfies. she’d be the type to inspire others with her discipline and positivity.

rock lee

lee would be the type to flood his feed with gym and fitness content, sharing everything from his daily workout routines to personal fitness goals. his posts would be packed with enthusiasm and motivational messages, like “don’t judge a person because of their appearance” and other self-improvement quotes. despite his positive energy, not everyone’s a fan—especially naruto and kiba, who might be more inclined to roll their eyes and make a shitty rant about his optimism.

hyuga neji

this dude, much like sasuke, is totally indifferent to social media. he doesn’t bother with frequent posts but when he does, they’re thoughtful and deliberate. you might see him sharing reflections on life, articles he’s stumbled upon, or insightful news about everyday occurrences. he avoids jumping into pointless online drama or trends, yet somehow, he’s always clued in. that’s thanks to lee and tenten, who can’t stop talking about the latest gossip and social media happenings. despite his apparent disinterest, he picks up on all the chatter and remains surprisingly well-informed about the buzz. so, even though he’s a low-key user, he’s never completely out of the loop.

inuzuka kiba

his socials would be about random rants and memes. he’d post exaggerated complaints about the most trivial matters. his feed would be a fucking mess of humorous and offbeat content—think sarcastic comments, goofy polls, and plenty of memes featuring akamaru. he’d frequently stir up controversies, posting impulsively and diving headfirst into debates. his online presence would be a whirlwind of arguments, especially with naruto, where they often argue over who’s the dumbest between them.

hyuga hinata

she’s the type to be a crocheter, the kind you see on tiktok with an account just for her yarn creations. her feed would be packed with posts showcasing her latest crocheting projects—everything from cozy blankets and stylish scarves to adorable amigurumi (crocheted plush toys). she’d share detailed photos and videos of her work. her account would also feature tutorials and tips for fellow crocheters, helping them improve their skills. she might post about her extensive yarn collection, offer free patterns, and give followers a peek into her crafting process. whether she’s showing off her latest masterpiece or sharing a behind-the-scenes look at her studio, her feed would be a inspiring hub for all things crochet.

aburame shino

the random entomologist on your feed. he would be all about his shit for insects and the natural world. his posts would feature photos of various bugs, often accompanied by educational captions about their behavior, ecology, and characteristics. his feed would include updates from his fieldwork, observations on insect behavior, and informative posts about conservation efforts. while he might occasionally share glimpses of his other interests or hobbies, the focus would remain firmly on nature and entomology. whether he’s showcasing a rare beetle he’s spotted or sharing insights on preserving insect habitats, his content would be a treasure trove of knowledge for fellow nature enthusiasts.

[mallgothyamaguchi]

what haikyuu characters would major in at My College™ -secondary characters edition!-

i’m having a lot of fun with this :) i’m kind of just doing main side characters and ones i have a good idea for, but if you have a request, feel free to send a reply or ask!

oikawa - …spanish major with latin american & caribbean studies minor. sue me

iwaizumi - easy easy easy mr. iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer is pre-med track biology major and i stand by that

kenma - easy this kid is computer science to a t, but he also minors in business administration (influence of kuroo)

kuroo - business administration with minors in chemistry (can’t disappoint everyone’s fanon career for him as a chemist) and media & communications (he is a sports promoter after all)

fukunaga - look did i just put him in here to say that he’d be part of one of the many comedy groups on my campus? yes absolutely. theater major.

bokuto - not even furudate knows what he went to college for, so i get to go a little crazy with this one. i like to believe he’s on the education track and majoring in english & creative writing. he’d be everyone’s favorite english teacher in high school.

akaashi - similar path as bokuto major in english & creative writing, with the complementary english literatures major or minor

konoha - hehe public health and chemistry major, looking to get his graduate degree in medical leadership (my pharmaceutical boy) he will also most likely go to pharmacology school post-grad

ushijima - he’s the rare student with only one major and one major only: environmental science.

tendou - hot take, but a chemistry major with a theater minor

semi - he is a musician, so i will give him our music major, but he is also a civil servant (yall ignore that a lot), so i give him political science or political economy & public policy

aone - physical science major with either a project management or supply chain management accelerated program worked in

futakuchi - there’s definitely sustainability studies in there, but interestingly, i’d also add physics

koganegawa - i’d say physical science major as part of the dual degree engineering program, adding in the innovation and entrepreneurship minor

kita - most definitely an environmental science and sustainability studies major with a religion studies minor :) (yes i know he specifically says he doesn’t really believe in the gods, but i can’t help but associate him with religion…) i think he’d also be interested in my college’s abroad trip to japan, which focuses on ecology and religion in japan (i really want to go on this trip…)

osamu - easy. business administration.

atsumu - maybe an interesting take, but i’d say psychology. the amount of psychological warfare he tries to use i think is enough explanation.

that’s all for now! let me know if there are more characters you’d like to know about ! i’m having a lot of fun with this so please send in requests 🙏

[halfamask]

Would they be at the smoke sesh? Naruto edition

Shikamaru: starts it, obviously. Definitely the asshole who spends fifteen minutes grinding and brushing and rolling a joint. Smokes the entire time and passes out as soon as people leave.

Choji: brings a bong. And the snacks.

Ino: is there but only because of fomo. Hits the bong and smokes the joint exactly once. Gets hella giggly with Sakura.

Naruto: is at the sesh, passes the joint with Shikamaru for a bit and munches with Choji after. Is ultimately there for a good time.

Sakura: shows up once in a while, usually late, with homemade (and very strong) eddies for her and ino (and absolutely no one else, will tell people to fuck off if they ask). Gets hella loud and giggly.

Sasuke: lowkey very straight laced. Rarely indulges and if he does not very much. Prefers edibles because he’s worried about smoke damaging his lungs and not being able to fight because of late onset asthma. Tried to get higher than Naruto once to prove that he can handle more but definitely got super paranoid and bad and never did it again.

Sai: makes fun of people for willingly subjecting their nervous systems to this. Rarely comes if ever, and when he does it’s to observe this part of the human bonding experience under impairment.

Hinata: usually doesn’t come, brings homemade cookies or brownies if she does (not the funny kind just normal sweets). These are fully devoured by Naruto and Choji.

Kiba: brings an extra joint to pass around in the circle, gets loud and obnoxious with Naruto and competes with him for snacks even though he doesn’t have the munchies.

Shino: the actual supplier of the joint Kiba brings. A regular part of the circle, very very quiet to the point people think he’s not good but he just gets too high to really want to move his mouth.

Neji: rarely comes as he doesn’t approve, only ever joins if Hinata wants to go or if Lee/Tenten/Naruto bother him into coming. Doesn’t indulge, but spends most of the night observing his friends and laughing (affectionately).

Lee: takes one hit exactly, somehow gets extremely high, and is yelling and rolling around and paranoid and woozy. It’s usually not very bad but he thus very rarely joins in the actual circle.

Tenten: definitely a fixture in the circle. Brings her own weed about half the time so that she’s not bumming off everyone else but has someone else roll it. Outsmokes Naruto and Shino but not Choji, Shikamaru, or Kiba. Knows when she’s done and hangs out with Neji and Lee or Ino and Sakura after depending on who’s there. Ultimately has a good time and goes home.

[dark-konohagakure2]

How about Edo Tensei Hashirama and Tobirama kidnapping and breeding Sasuke’s virgin older sister when they come across her? Hashirama is kinda obsessive and thinks he’s in love because she looks so much like Madara, while Tobirama is that much more savage/abusive with her for the same reasons. (hatefuck, noncon, cnc, mindbreak, loss of virginity, size difference bc they’re both giants, belly bulge)

tw: noncon, threesome, Edo Tensei, size difference, double penetration, past HashiMada, breeding, discrimination, hatefucking, abuse, belly bulge, slight yandere

All characters depicted are 18+

When Hashirama and Tobirama are brought back into the world via the reanimation jutsu, they quickly realize that the famous Uchiha clan has gone nearly extinct and each have different feels about the matter, Hashirama is deeply saddened, while Tobirama barely tries to hide his schadenfreude, but when the two of them discover the only surviving female of the Uchiha clan, who bears a striking resemblance to someone from their past, the brothers both have very different reactions, but very similar intentions.

As the two brothers corner her, Tobirama can't help but roll his eyes at the noticeable blush on Hashirama's face and the even more noticeable bulge in his pants, he had always suspected that his elder brother had a thing for Uchihas, although to be fair, so does Tobirama, but their shared Uchiha fetish manifests in difference ways, Tobirama's is about domination and hatred, Hashirama's is about a genuine love and attraction towards the Uchiha clan's members.

Tobirama is incredibly harsh, biting down on her shoulder roughly as he pumps his cock into her, growling insults into her ear and letting her know exactly how much he loathes her clan, and how this is the fate that the females of that cursed clan deserve.

Hashirama is much more gentle throughout encounter, unnerving her with how gentle and affectionate he is towards her, even as he bullies his thick cock into her pussy alongside his much less gentle younger brother.

"Ah~ Oh you're just too cute, my dear~ and you look just like someone very dear to my heart too, that just makes you even more enticing~!"

Both of them are very big men, and their cocks are big as well, so they stretch her out and fill her to the brim, with Hashirama lovingly taking her from behind while Tobirama savagely pounds her from the front, her stomach bulging with the shape of their cocks from just how deep they are inside of her.

Hashirama will scold Tobirama for being so rough with the poor girl, reminding him that she's very precious, being both the last female of an extinct clan and the spitting image of their dear former 'friend', but Tobirama will retort, emphasizing that he's only being so brutal because of those very reasons.

The juxtaposition between how the brothers treat her is almost unsettling, Hashirama is cooing praises into her ear, his thrusts deep yet gentle as he calls her his good girl, while Tobirama is using her like an unvalued toy, harshly hitting her womb with his cock at a rapid pace while telling her how much he detests her, and how someone as tainted as her deserves such unkind treatment.

Despite both being reanimated, they're still capable of cumming in this state, which they do, a lot. The two of them both cum inside of her fertile womb multiple times, filling her up to the brim with their superior Senju cum.

"Take that, Uchiha filth. This is what you deserve for being from the same clan as him, and get used to being filled up like this, because you belong to us now."

Hashirama is more than happy to have a substitute Madara that he can spoil and love, while Tobirama is glad to have an Uchiha to torment, so for once the two polar opposite brother's are in agreement on something.

[devilstruly]

haikyu!! headcanon

saw this on pinterest earlier today and all i can imagine is a filler episode during the nationals arc

fukurodani is in their rooms and strategizing about their upcoming match tomorrow against inarizaki and akaashi is the one who made the most observations about the team with time so he keeps going on and on about what they need to be wary of, how skilled the twins are, atsumu's serves, suna's technique etc.

and then it cuts to said dangerous team - the twins on their 10th fight of the day, suna cleaning up the mess and aran who has literally given up on everything

(if anyone knows the artist lmk so i can credit them)

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Konoha 11, rate them from the absolute worst at kissing (slobber, waaaay too much tongue, etc.) to GOD TIER. The kind of kisses that make you wanna worship the ground they walk on.

yurrr lets do it - love you whoever requested this one too!! - Boruto era for all, of course, idgaf we're just kissing

Kissing Tier List

Notes: i didn't even swear!!! also, barebone explanations, but this is still about kissing so i'll throw down a cut just 'cause.

Masterlist💿

11. Lee 🪙

Tongue flicking and darting and shoving it down your throat - he's too excited every time.

10. Kiba 🪙

Wet, hot, slobbery kisses await our Kiba-Lovers.

9. Choji 🪙

He's not the kissing type, much better for a peck.

8. Hinata 🪩

Not much reciprocation from our resident pillow princess.

7. Tenten 🪩

Terribly shy in her kisses and needs a little while to hit her groove.

6. Shino 🪩

Hasn't had much practice, but he's not bad once he gets it.

5. Naruto 🔮

He's great for tongue-less kisses but is kinda spitty otherwise.

4. Neji 🔮

Now here's one suave mother[lover] - he had to get some practice in, but he's as good as gold

🥉 Ino

Whew - she's got grace, and is so polite with it, while still taking some command in the kiss.

🥈 Sakura

Seriously, could only be described as the kiss of an angel, do not play with me rn. Delicate, yet so full of strong emotion.

🥇 Shikamaru

Not a soul is surprised!! But!! Facts are just facts!!

He's got the French Kiss in a deathgrip, and his passing smooches are to kill for. Shikamaru knows he's a magnificent kisser, and will always give you a kiss if you ask nicely enough.