#kourtney hsmtmts x reader

[dellabearry]

so i just watched hsmtmts 3 and the moment i laid my eyes on jet, i knew that he could pass off as young jesper fahey. you cannot tell me otherwise. adrian lyles is young jesper. now i just gotta find someone who could pass off as young wylan.

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 10 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 10.1k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, more high highs and a lot of low lows, tooth rotting fluff

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: saucy flashbacks, nini and ej are very unprofessional, more fake texts, more coping through the arts, ricky realizes he's a real theatre kid, ricky is simping for you, seb being seb/a good friend/an absolute sweetheart, ricky distancing himself from lynne (slay), spilling tea (after getting permission to do so), conflicted feelings, nini (and ej but mostly nini) ruins the show, three seperate nini pick me moments, reader is about to snap, ricky and reader are mvps, one playful 'babe' from reader to ricky, nini is one delusional bitch!, brief mention of reader's trauma (jumpy at loud noises, flinches when someone raises their voice), ricky and big red are bros, big red has good opinions bc he stans dr phil, minor big red x ashlyn, kourtney and ricky do not get along lol, reader DOES snap, nini is terrible idk how else to rephrase it she's just the worst, nini gets yelled at by both you and ricky (slay), realizations happen, jones BIGASS love confessions and neck kisses.html, flowery descriptions, ricky picks you up briefly, making out, ricky is good with kids and it's adorable, nini is the only one who calls it YAC, theatre kids at denny's jumpscare, mike is a good dad, you wear one of ricky's shirts, saccrine amounts of love declarations, tooth rotting fluff

summary: after the disaster that was act one, act two also finds some way to go unplanned, causing you to be completely fed up with Nini's unprofessional behavior. you turn a night of confrontations around as you realize something and ricky finally gets something important off his chest.

song recs: entr'acte (hands clean) - jagged little pill obc, smiling - jagged little pill obc, what am I to you - rm, you stupid bitch - crazy ex girlfriend cast, first - niki and gabi, for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic - paramore, I hear a symphony - cody fry, something to believe in - newsies obc, let's go to the movies - annie (1982), sunrise - in the heights obc

a/n: fangz again 2 cici for beta reading, prepz fuk off. I'm watching american horror story murder house so uh. i'll let you know how that goes. it's hilarious so far tbh i love basement babyman. also this is ricky at you

tags @yesv01 @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @hopefullhearts @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You had heard the first part of their argument from your dressing room. After that it was muffled yelling - most of which you hoped was Ricky’s. When Natalie called for places, they were still going at it. You found Miss Jenn as quickly as you could, worried about Ricky, unsure if he was still okay to perform. 

“EJ is already getting ready to go on.” She tells you. It’s the only answer you need for how ugly things got. She ushers everyone to their places, trying her best to squash their questions and speculations of what’s going on. 

“Nothing you need to worry about, just find you places, get in character, get ready for act two…” she instructs. She pulls you aside before you enter the wings. 

“Mr. Mazzara is escorting her out as we speak.” she informs you quietly. 

“Wait, Mr. Mazzara is here?” you ask. She pauses.

“Uh, yes. He’s been… helping run the lights up in the control booth. It was a last minute-” she shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, the… shrew is leaving and Mike is on his way back to check on Ricky.” You’re relieved that his dad is here for him - and Miss Jenn. You look around momentarily. 

“Where is he?” you ask. 

“That dusty storage room we shoved the creepy mannequins in.” 

The one with the piano. The one where he helped you come down from a panic attack your first day at the El Rey, and… 

“...So they’re probably going to wait until the show is over, then head home.” You snap out of the onslaught of memories that stirred up at the mention of that storage room, catching the last half of what she said. “You can keep your phone in the wings to stay in touch, just make sure it’s not a distraction.” 

“Okay,” you agree, already feeling it buzzing in your pocket. She nudges you toward the wings as the intro to I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You starts playing, Nini and EJ’s voices should be floating through the house. 

“Now, go be Sharpay!” she says with a smile, and you start to turn the corner, then pause. 

“Miss Jenn!” you whisper-yell, and she looks back up at you. “Thank you! For everything.” you say sincerely. She places her hands on her chest, smiling, and you finally find your place backstage. 

“Like, full on screaming,” you hear Zeke say to Martha. You try to ignore them, and everyone else talking and whispering. You knew it would spread like wildfire, backstage drama always does. You pull out your phone, blowing up with texts from Ricky and his dad. You keep switching between the two text threads, trying to figure out what happened, to make sure Ricky’s okay. As you type out replies to both him and his dad, you look out onto the stage. Something doesn’t sound right, the gaps between the dialog are too long. 

Your brow furrows, trying to figure out what’s going on. EJ’s hand comes up to his collar and he leans forward. Nina delivers her next line more stilted and awkward and out of character than anything you’ve ever seen. You watch, confusion turning into disbelief as Nina covers her mic with her hand, and whispers something to EJ. Being so close to where they’re standing, you’re able to catch most of what she says - ‘seriously, EJ, where’s Ricky?’, or something to that effect. 

High pitched feedback whines at the disturbance to her mic, and for a moment you think you must have imagined it. There’s no way, no chance in hell she covered her mic with her hand, broke character onstage, and got EJ to break character too. You take a few breaths, reminding yourself that you’re not the director. Miss Jenn will have to deal with that one. Your phone buzzes as you get more texts from Ricky, and you check it again. 

Ricky stares at the little gray box on his screen, letting your words sink in. He still has four shows to perform in. He has more than just tonight to look forward to. All of those shows, every single one of them, is going to go just fine. Even now, through the worst possible nightmare of a thing that could have happened, the show is still continuing; the show must go on. And it will. It is, right in front of his eyes, as he and his dad enter the auditorium, taking two empty seats, Ricky’s right on the aisle. EJ and Nini harmonize, dancing around the stage - like he was supposed to. They finish the last verse of Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, as the audience applauds. He claps politely as the lights go down. 

He mentally runs through what he would be doing if he were back there with you guys. You’re probably getting ready for the scene at Sharpay’s locker with Zeke, standing center stage in the dark, looking at the prop accessories in the pink locker, while Zeke mentally goes over his lines and blocking in the stage left wing. The lights go up, and he’s right. He knows this whole show inside and out, he realizes, and it makes his chest squeeze. Instead of dwelling on that, he leans forward, watching the scene begin to play out. He realizes suddenly that he gets to actually watch you perform. Not just from the wings or during rehearsals or in a grainy camcorder video, but he gets to watch you live. 

He smiles a little, realizing how special that is. You deliver your lines flawlessly, bringing a chuckle from the audience with your attitude right when you want one. It’s crazy how you play the mean girl so well, when it couldn’t be further from your real personality. He figures you’re just that amazing. You let out a shrill, frustrated scream, then storm off stage with Zeke trailing after you. When the lights go down, he claps loudly, letting out a cheer. He lets out a shaky breath, knowing you’ll be in the next scene, too - you’re probably quick changing for it right now. 

He’s right again, and backstage, you pull on your jacket, relieved to be done a little earlier than usual. It’s probably nerves from everything that happened tonight making you go a little quicker, but you’re not complaining. 

“So,” Seb says quietly next to you, bending over to tug on his heels, “what happened earlier? It sounded bad…” You let out a slow, frustrated sigh. He gets the sense it wasn’t just bad, it was really bad. 

“Just…” you search for the words, “some personal stuff. Family stuff, I guess.” 

“Bad enough for him to leave halfway through the show?” he asks, and you can tell he’s concerned. You pause fixing your belt, looking up to the catwalk and praying for the strength to get through tonight. Seb is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, and you know he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but the last thing you need to do is add to the whispers, the desire for someone to spill the tea on what happened during intermission. 

“It’s really not for me to say…” you trail off, glancing at the other groups of castmates waiting to go on and techies listening for their cues. ‘Later’, you mouth to him. You have to go on any minute, and you want to text Ricky about it before you tell anyone anything. It’s really not your place to tell anyone what’s going on in his homelife. You pull out your phone, sending him a quick text that says some of your friends are worried about him, and does he want you to say anything or keep it under wraps for now. You turn your phone on silent and hide it in your bra before making your entrance on time. 

Seb lets out a huff, then follows you off stage as the ensemble runs in from the wings and the music for Wildcat Cheer reprise starts playing. As the ensemble begins dancing, Ricky checks his phone again, seeing a new text from you. ‘What do you want me to say?’ He pauses, staring at the screen. What does he want you to say? Nothing, at first. For a painful, fleeting moment, he wishes none of this had ever happened in the first place, he wishes he didn’t have to keep making up excuses and brushing things off. He doesn’t have to, he realizes. He doesn’t have to keep covering for her, and overcompensating for her shitty decisions. He bites the inside of his cheek, then texts you back. 

Backstage, you return to the stage right wing, ready for your next scene. You check to see if Ricky has texted you back, and he did. ‘Tell them she showed up unannounced and we got in a fight. I’m not trying to make her look good anymore.’ You agree, and a part of you is glad he’s not making himself responsible for his mother’s emotions anymore. When your scene is over, you rush to your dressing room to get ready for Bop to the Top. You have a full costume and hair change, and you need to tweak your makeup a little, so it usually takes you the longest to get ready for. Once you’ve applied enough body glitter to choke a bratz doll, you leave your dressing room, meeting Seb on the way to the wings. 

Most of the cast is onstage right now, so it’s not very crowded backstage where you stand, waiting for the current song to end. Seb moves a little closer to you and lowers his voice.

“I know it’s probably not a good time to ask, but what in the Mount Saint Helens happened with Ricky?” He asks in a hushed, worried tone. You bite back a smile at his turns of phrase, and sigh. You think back to Ricky’s text, how he said he’s done covering for her. 

“His mother showed up…” you say slowly, pausing at the shocked expression on his face. 

“She what?” he exclaims quietly. 

“And she tried to corner Ricky during intermission,” he gasps, and you continue, “and they got into a huge fight.” 

“Oh my god.” he says, thinking back to the yelling he’d heard. 

“Mhm.” you confirm, “Miss Jenn had to kick her out so she wouldn’t cause more of a scene.” 

“Oh my god!” he gasps in disbelief that it got that bad. He feels like he’s on an episode of Real Housewives. Or maybe Dance Moms. 

“Poor Ricky… Is he okay?” His mind constructs different images of Ricky’s mother ambushing him while he tries to get ready for act two. He can’t imagine how terrible that must have been. 

“As much as he can be right now,” you say. Seb can see how worried you are about him. This night took a toll on you, and he’s sure Ricky’s dad and Miss Jenn can’t be doing much better. It makes sense, and he’s glad to at least know what happened. 

“That’s pretty much it, but I’ll give you the details later.” you say, noting that you have to go on soon, and walking over to Ashlyn so you can enter together. 

The music starts, and Ricky has never been more excited for Bop to the Top. He’s never had the opportunity to see you and Seb perform full out like this from the audience, he’s always been just out of view before because of the blocking and where he was supposed to stand on stage. But now, he’s front and center, watching the light bounce off the glitter scattered across your chest and arms. You’re in a gorgeous, glittering teal dress that bounces and moves with every step you take. Your silver sparkling heels match your bracelets, and your hair is pinned up with big pink and white flowers on the side. Seb begins to dance with you, wearing a coordinating outfit that’s just as flashy. 

As the music cuts between the basketball game and science decathlon, you and Seb continue to steal the show. Your singing is gorgeous and your choreography is flawless. You harmonize as you spin around, totally in sync. Your attitude, your charisma is overflowing. The two most important events of the show are happening on either side of you, and you’re keeping all eyes center stage. He’s never seen a number with this much energy, this much flare, and based on the way the crowd is reacting, they feel the same way. 

As the tension builds, as the time to score the winning shot runs out and the science questions get harder and harder, as the music builds, Ricky’s breath is taken away. At the climax of the number, the East High Wildcats win the championship basketball game, and the science decathlon at the same moment. You and Seb hit the final note, holding it out as you strike your ending pose. Right as you’re done, Taylor kills the lights. 

Ricky is stunned at how good the show looks from the audience. But in spite of how amazing it’s been, he can’t ignore the gnawing in his chest anymore. He’s been trying so hard to focus on you, to not be jealous of EJ standing up there reciting his lines, singing his parts and doing his choreography. Seeing EJ up there, seeing Carlos struggle to fill in as Chad makes his stomach sink. It’s supposed to be him up there. He’s supposed to be the one scrambling to make it to callbacks on time, just like he did in real life all those months ago. He turns his attention back to you, as you begin your biggest Sharpay diva moment of the show. 

You storm off with Seb at your heels, and you both begin to get changed for the finale. As you get dressed into your white and red outfits, you can’t resist telling him a little more about what happened during act one and intermission. 

“...And she just stormed up to me, demanding to see him. Like, I told her, ‘you’re not cast or crew, you are so not allowed to be back here’, but she didn’t care!” Your voice is intense, but hushed. 

“Are you kidding?” he demands, shock evident on his face. 

“I wish I was…” you laugh softly, just as flabbergasted by the recent turn of events as he is. You inch closer to the curtain, and see Ricky wave to you in the audience - or more specifically in the general direction of where he knows you’d be right about now. His eyes are still a little pink and puffy, and it’s obvious how much everything that happened tonight has fucked him up. Your chest squeezes at the sight, and you wish you could hug him or do something to help. You sigh, trying to think of something encouraging to text him when you get a spare minute to. You snap out of your train of thought when you realize it’s quiet onstage. Your stomach sinks as EJ repeats his line, trying to cue Nina.

“Oh god,” you mutter next to Seb. 

“Did she forget her lines?” he asks. Her head turns, and you see what she’s looking at - who she’s looking at. You’re minutes away from the finale of the show, and she’s staring at Ricky. EJ begins speaking again, reciting his lines, but he just keeps going.

“Is he improving?” you ask rhetorically. “Why is he improving?” 

You have no idea what’s going on, but this show is going off the rails so fast. It’s like a slow motion trainwreck, and you find yourself unable to look away as Nina whispers to him out of character, for the second time in the last hour. You can feel your blood pressure rise as she breaks character too, the both of them floundering onstage and deviating from every rule of theatre Miss Jenn has been drilling into your heads for the last three months. Again, EJ speaks up, not even trying at this point. 

“I’m not the Troy you want,” he says melancholically. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” you hiss, and Seb can tell that after everything that happened tonight, this is really the last straw for you - you’re out for blood. You watch in disbelief as EJ just… walks offstage. And that’s it. You think it’s a really good thing he exited to the other side of the stage, because you sure have some choice words for him right now. 

“What is he doing?!” you question again, more pissed off than Seb has ever seen you. As if things couldn’t possibly get worse, you can’t believe what you’re seeing. Nina picks up her mic and begins to walk toward the edge of the stage, singing acapella. 

“She better not fucking do what I think she’s doing.” your voice is quiet, dangerous, and Seb is momentarily worried on her behalf. Even though you’re like, the nicest person ever, he doesn’t think anyone would want to be on your bad side.

Your hand flies over your mouth in utter disbelief as she walks into the audience and right over to Ricky, signaling for Big Red to follow her with a spotlight. Just when you think this couldn’t be more of an amature hour shit show, she pulls out her phone, turning her flashlight on him. You have no idea what she thinks that’s going to do, and thank god when she puts it away after a minute. She grabs Ricky’s hand, trying multiple times to pull him out of his seat. His heart is pounding, and he can feel himself freezing up. He has no idea what’s happening or why she’s doing this, and he has even less of an idea what he’s supposed to do. 

“I’m… really not at my best right now…” he manages to choke out. She doesn’t listen, and grips his hand, limp in hers. 

“Just look at me, Ricky. Right at me.” She smiles, like that will fix anything. He shouldn’t go up there, he shouldn’t go onstage when he’s like this. He and his dad had a whole conversation about it after intermission. But with everyone staring at him, Nini begins to sing. When she holds out the mic for him to finish the verse, he does, almost on instinct. He can’t leave her hanging, not like this. He panics, and next thing he knows, he’s letting her drag him onstage. He doesn’t know what’s happening, why she’s doing this, but he moves automatically and lets her drag him onstage. 

He’s struggling to keep his voice level, using all his effort to push past the pain, and smile at her. As she finally brings him center stage, taking his shaking hands in hers, he fights with everything inside him to make this work, to make it convincing, and be the finale it was supposed to be. He just has to keep it together for this last number, work through the pain, the ache in his chest and stomach that’s killing him as he stands up there, just for three minutes. As the rest of the cast begins to hit their cues, the energy has never been higher. They’re giving it everything they’ve got to hype him up, give him something to hold onto. He can feel them reaching out to him, singing and dancing their hearts out to lift him up. 

He’s trying so hard to be Troy, to seem convincing, to smile sincerely - not at Nini, but at Gabriella. He holds her hands, beaming, thinking about how badly Troy wants to kiss her. He clings onto this moment, the music, this role like a lifeboat. Troy has a great relationship with both his parents, Troy doesn’t come from a broken home. Troy is okay, he’s never been better, which means that Ricky gets to be okay vicariously through him, just for a little while. Just for a few minutes. He holds onto this catharsis as tightly as he can. He’s not going to let this moment be taken away from him too. The audience is cheering louder than ever as they make their way to the end of the song, incredibly confused at the cast changes and Nini’s actions, but they cheer everyone on - especially Ricky - nonetheless. 

He smiles at her through misty eyes, holding her hands and gazing at her in adoration. ‘This is it,’ Nini thinks, ‘my Ricky has come back to me. It’s always going to be us.’ He caresses her cheek, and looks at her like he really wants to kiss her as they harmonize. She knows he wants to kiss her, he’s always loved her and he’s always going to. They’ve had their ups and downs, but she knows that Ricky will always be hers. She was his first love, his first everything, and that’s what really matters. They have history, and you can’t fake that, you can’t manufacture that. 

The song ends and she drags him into the wings away from you and Seb, shoving his finale costume at him. He fumbles to take off his jacket, desperately trying to stay in motion, to keep moving, keep smiling, keep being Troy. He throws the sparkly white and red tracksuit on over his remaining clothes, and has seconds before he’s going to get dragged back out for the finale of a show he was only able to half participate in. He hates her so much for ruining this for him. He hates Nini for dragging him back up here, for literally putting him in a spotlight in the aftermath of the worst event of his life. He sucks it up, putting on a smile and getting hyped up to sing along to the megamix. 

It takes one look at your face for Seb to know just how bad this is. He can feel the rage, the disbelief radiating off of you, and he has no idea what’s going to happen after this. He thinks it’s nice that Nini tried to include Ricky, but she definitely didn’t go about it the right way. He’s sure you’d feel that’s probably the biggest understatement that could be made about the situation. 

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, really worried. There’s already been so much drama tonight, he knows your bullshit tolerance is in the negatives right now. You stare at Nina across the stage, watching her whisper something to Kourtney with an expression on her face that infuriates you.

“Not sure yet.” You answer quietly, voice dangerous. Finally, you hear your cue, and you and Seb enter the stage.

He watches you change on a dime, transforming into a sassy, fun, reformed mean girl. You dance with him, and flirt with Zeke effortlessly. He can’t find a trace of your previous rage once you’re past the curtain, singing and dancing as Sharpay. There’s a light, fun, playful energy around you, and it’s infectious, making Seb and Zeke and everyone else around you have even more fun out there. For a moment, he forgets how ugly this is going to get once the lights go down. 

You make your way over to Gabriella, doing a little dance with her, just like you’re supposed to. You flash her a thumbs up, and wink at her supportively when Troy pulls her closer to dance, just like you’ve been practicing at every rehearsal leading up to this moment. Nina smiles at you when you do, interpreting yours and Ricky’s behavior as more than just stage directions. She feels a sense of benevolent camaraderie with you in these fleeting moments. Maybe she will be the bigger person, maybe she will extend her friendship to you, because even though you did try to steal Ricky from her - unsuccessfully at that - fighting over dumb boys is stupid. 

She and Gina run off to pull Miss Jenn onstage so she can deliver her infamous deleted line. It was your idea initially, but you made sure to tell the rest of the cast before tonight so the surprise could be from all of you. The cast and house cheer as she delivers her line, and you can see how much it means to her. You get a minute to dance with Ricky, and make your way over to him as quickly and naturally as possible. You couldn’t seem happier or more care free, but when you speak, your voice is strained. 

“I am so sorry that happened…” you say, barely loud enough for him to hear over the swell of the music and the rhythmic clapping as the audience keeps time. He can see it, the frustration being masked by your energetic, jovial nature. You’re doing the same thing he is, he realizes. You’re using this moment onstage and in character to keep the real world at bay. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt closer to you than he does right now. He wants to say something, he wants to feel horrible - he’s sure it’s justified - but when he looks at you, he can’t 

You’re onstage together at the end of your opening night performance, with a full house clapping and cheering and singing along with you both, with the whole cast. And in this moment, you’re worried about him. You’re worried about him. He’s so overwhelmed by this feeling of being onstage with all his friends, an audience full of people who came here and bought tickets and watched the show and are now cheering them on for this, the penultimate moment of all their hard work and dedication and doubts over the last three months culminating to this. He knows you know this feeling well, that this is the first show you’ve done in so long and how badly you’ve missed it - and you’re still up here, worried about him. 

“There were some… hiccups, but…” he starts, locking eyes with yours, looking at you that way that he does. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more strongly for you than he does right now. “This is kind of the best, right?” You smile suddenly at his words, relief evident on your face. You feel like you can breathe a little easier knowing he’s doing okay - or at least, better than he was. 

“This is just the tip of the iceberg babe,” you chuckle, nudging him playfully. You’re still livid at that… stunt Nina pulled, that hasn’t slipped your mind. But for now, Ricky is okay. That’s what’s important. You’ll deal with her later, if you get the chance. 

“Just wait till you see what I have picked out for the spring musical!” you both look over at Miss Jenn as she smiles, drawing an excited laugh from you and Ricky. 

Nina looks over, hearing you laughing with Ricky. It makes her stomach sink. She scoffs, figuring it must be platonic. He’s probably just giving you closure, or something. She looks back out into the crowd, and stops dancing as she watches the scout from YAC leave. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief. If she doesn’t get into YAC, the performing arts school of her dreams, what was the point of all this?

After everyone runs forward in groups, then individually to bow in front of the audience, You, Nina, and Ricky are the last to go. He stands between you, lined up with everyone else, holding both your hands as you and all your friends bow as a cast.  He snaps to attention as he hears a certain part of the music, squeezing your hand in warning. Confetti cannons go off from the wings moments later, drawing out a new wave of cheers and applause from the audience. You’re grateful for the warning, and you squeeze his hand back as a thank you. Your heart is warmed that even now, after so many difficult things happening back to back in one night, he still remembered that loud noises can make you jumpy. 

When Nina goes to share a look with Ricky, her smile drops. He’s already looking at you. There’s a certain type of joy in his eye, the kind you can only find amidst the ashes of misery, as he realizes that through everything that happened, he’s still okay. You’re still here. That’s the important part. You’re still right here with him, holding his hand. He made it to bows. Everything is going to be okay. In sharing this eye contact with him, you can’t help but reflect on how pretty he looks in the blue cast of the stage lights as he looks at you that way that makes your stomach twist. 

The curtains begin to draw closed, and you all wave at the audience until they’re out of sight. Sporadic cheers are let out around you as hugs are initiated here and there, and everyone begins flooding to the dressing rooms to get changed. As you make your way to the back, Ashlyn already leading everyone in a very loud, high energy reprise of We’re All in This Together, you squeeze Ricky’s arm. When he looks at you, he seems to be doing exactly as well as you’d expect - okay for now, the massive high from the end of the show keeping him afloat for now, but you know it won’t last forever. 

“I’m gonna go get changed real quick, I’ll say hi to my mom then we can go home, okay?” you say quietly, and he can tell from your tone of voice that you’re here for him, he just needs to hang in there a little longer. 

“Okay,” he says with a shaky breath. He doesn’t really need to get changed since he has his street clothes on under his tracksuit, so after hanging it up in its place, he waits in the hall outside the dressing rooms. A few minutes later, everyone who got changed the fastest are in the halls and on the stairs outside the dressing rooms, talking and congratulating each other before they go to the lobby. There's a silent understanding that you're all waiting just a few more minutes before you have to leave, before you have to acknowledge that the show is over. Big Red runs over to Ricky as soon as he spots him. 

“Are you okay, dude?” he asks quietly, clearly worried about him. Ricky lets out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Ricky realizes how stressed he must be, having no idea of anything that was going on until half way through the show. "There’s a lot to fill you in on." Ricky nods his head, and they move to a more secluded area so Ricky can begin catching him up. He goes over the series of events from earlier tonight quickly, trying not to get worked up over all of it again. Soon he's wrapping up his summary of the horrible things that happened in such a short span of time, and his eyes are much less misty than he was worried they'd be. 

"Oh. My. God." Red states, laughing in disbelief that his mother would do something like that. 

"Yeah." Ricky nods, still in shock. 

"Don't take this the wrong way, dude," Red says tentatively, "but that does sound like something she would do; the guilt tripping, mind games, all of it." Ricky can't help but agree. In retrospect, Red does remember her using a lot of language that read as passive aggressive or guilt  tripping. There’s no way they could have picked up on that as kids, but hindsight is 20/20. Ricky loses Red's attention real quick as Ashlyn walks toward her friends, no longer loitering outside the dressing room she shares with you and Nini - and soon, Gina. She holds up a piece of paper from the mystery bouquet she'd been inspecting more closely. 

“We found a card!” she says excitedly. Ricky nudges Red, encouraging him to tell Ashlyn that he was the one to send the flowers. He looks at Ricky, nervous, and gets an encouraging nod. Big Red takes a breath, steadying himself, then stands up and walks towards Ashlyn. 

"Actually…" he starts. He doesn't need to say anything else, watching the realization hit. They walk a few feet away, talking animatedly and seeming to have a good time. More people start to filter out to see their friends and family, and as they dissipate, he realizes he still hasn't seen you since you went to change. He spots Kourtney passing by a few feet away and runs over to her. 

"Hey, uh," he starts carefully. He knows Kourtney hasn't been too fond of him for a while. "Do you know where Nini is?" He knows where Gina and Ashlyn are, and he really just wants to grab you and get out of here without even more drama. Kourtney sucks her teeth, considering how to respond for a moment. She could say something, she always has something to say when it comes to Ricky, but she knows tonight was hard on him. She doesn't know the details, but she's sure the last thing she'd want in his position is more animosity. 

"The scout left, and she's taking it hard. I think she's with her moms, but I don't know for sure." He waits a beat, realizing there's no other shoe that's going to drop, no glares or snarky comments.

"Thanks," he says quietly, before making his way to your dressing room. You're probably just having trouble getting everything back in your bag. He thought you had way over packed when you showed him the huge tote bag you got ready for tech week, but by the end, every 'just in case you had brought had been needed more than once. You really know your way around a theater, he thinks. 

When you first enter your dressing room, all you want to do is get changed and get out. Ashlyn talks a little - mostly to herself - about how excited she is for the next show. You reply as politely as possible, doing everything you can to avoid Nina, ignore her as much as you can. You just have to get changed and get out. You have bigger issues to deal with, bigger fish to fry than to chew her out for what she did back there. 

"Yeah," she replies, a faux chipper tone to her voice "hopefully we won't have as many last minute cast changes tomorrow night," you pause, gripping the empty plastic hanger so hard your knuckles turn white. "But who knows, right?" 

You've tried your best, you really have, but you can't take her bullshit anymore. The hanger snaps in your hands with a loud crack. Ashlyn's eyes widen in surprise, and now out of costume, she makes her way to the door. 

"I'll give you two a minute…"

The cacophony of voices get louder for a moment as she opens the door to leave, then it's quiet again. You turn away from her to tug on your shoes, praying to god she'll just leave it alone, let you get out of here quietly. 

"Sorry," her voice is dripping with a passive aggressive ignorance that grates on your ears. "Did you have something to say to me?" Before she can scoff and drop a yeah, that's what I thought, you turn, looking over your shoulder at her with a stone cold glare. When you speak, your voice is so deadly, so sharp she feels like she's been stung. 

"Count yourself fucking lucky that I don't have time to hang around right now, but I swear to god, Nina, if you pull shit like that again-"

"Wh-" she sputters, "excuse me? Pull what? Including Ricky, and helping him?"

"You think you were helping him?" You repeat, turning to face her. You roll your eyes scoffing. "Wow." She starts to say something, but you cut her off. 

"Look, I don't know why you're here, but some of us actually take this seriously. This actually means something- this matters to some people, and nobody needs you turning it into a little three ring Nina circus, and ruining it for the people who actually want to be here!" Your voice rises as you continue, driving your point home, and refusing to let her interrupt you. By the time you’re done, her mouth is hanging open.

“I don’t care what you do in your free time,” you continue decisively, “I really don’t, but don’t ruin everything for the people who actually give a fuck!” you say, a humorless laugh at the end. You don’t know who’s been coddling her up until now, but you are sure as hell are not going to let someone get away with a stunt like that. It’s clear from her reaction that no one has ever spoken to her like this, and you think it’s long overdue. “That was the most unprofessional load of bullshit I have ever fucking seen! And I’ve been around the rodeo a few times.” 

Nina blinks hard, fighting tears prickling the corners of her eyes. She feels like she’s just been slapped. Her? Unprofessional? Wow. You’re really reaching now. She’s the most professional person at this whole school, she just… She freezes as it hits her in a split second of clarity, that she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She broke the cardinal rules of theatre; she broke character, went into the audience, broke the immersion. She ruined opening night. You can see the moment of lucidity where she realizes she’s in the wrong, and it’s gone just as fast. 

“You’re one to talk about being a professional.” She spits. You look at her incredulously. Once again you have no idea where she’s going with this. When you don’t react, don’t instantly get it, she continues. 

“You had a Broadway career handed to you on a silver platter, and you threw it away!” she searches your face for shock that she figured out your secret, continuing, “And for what, so you could slum it at some midwestern high school full of amateurs?” 

You figured it was a matter of time before someone found out you’ve done professional theatre before, so if she’s waiting for a reaction from you, she’s not going to get one. The only reason you didn’t tell anyone, the only reason you kept quiet about it is because you didn’t want to come across as cocky or seem like you were bragging. Plus, with how hard things got towards the end, you don’t really want to go around and dig up memories from that time in your life. Besides, you’re not in New York right now, you’re at East High. You’re here with all your friends, finally getting a little piece of normalcy. You’re exactly where you want to be, so why would you waste it living in the past?

Before you can answer, she continues.

“The point is, you need to stay away from Ricky and stop lying to him. Okay?” she demands. Her voice is muffled through the door, but right outside, Ricky hears her loud and clear. He didn’t hear you two before, but now the halls and dressing rooms are mostly empty.

Is she still seriously going on about that? You let out a breath, trying to regain your composure. 

“I really do not have the time to keep having the same conversation with you over and over - or explain to you that you can’t tell people who they can and can’t date!” you exclaim. You’re about to drop it, but there’s one more thing you need to get off your chest. “And for the fucking record, you don’t know jack shit about what else was going on in my life when I left New York. And I don’t owe you an explanation either.” you say coldly. You’ve said your peace, the only thing you need to do is fucking get out of here and find Ricky. 

“I can’t believe I actually used to look up to you!” she exclaims. “Look. It was cute, or whatever, at first, but this little game of yours has gone on for long enough. He’s mine. Now can you leave him alone, please?” she demands. She’s dripping that passive aggression you’re really starting to get sick of. You look at her in the mirror, illuminated with lights. 

“Seriously? You seriously want to do this right now.” You say, exhausted. She either doesn’t hear you or pretends not to as she continues.

“I knew him first! I dated him first, I kissed him first. Everything he’s done with you, he did with me first.” she states. She doesn’t know how else to get it into your head that she was his first everything, and you’re just a rebound or something. What they have isn’t something you can just get over like that.

“You weren’t… every first, Nini.” You both look over at Ricky, and you wonder how long he’s been standing in the doorway, how much he heard. 

“Ricky… what?” she whips around at the sound of his voice. He stares back at her, teary eyed and serious. 

“You weren’t every first.” he repeats. You both look at him in disbelief. Nina furrows her brow. She can’t believe he’s disrespecting their relationship like this. You stare at him, thinking back, reanalyzing your memories. He can’t be saying what you think he’s saying. There’s no way you were his first time. That couldn’t have been his first time. There’s no way that Ricky Bowen was a virgin before he showed up at your house that night, there’s no way that you took his virginity. ‘Oh god, I did, didn’t I?’ you think, remembering the way he looked at you, how nervous and desperate he was. Heat floods to your cheeks. You have no idea what to do with this information.

“How could you say that?” she demands. She was his first crush, his first kiss, his first date, girlfriend, heartbreak. She was all of it. 

“Because it’s true!” he exclaims. “The only first I care about, the only first that matters, is right there.” he gestures to you. 

Oh yeah, no, you definitely did take his virginity. You did not expect this, much less that it would make you feel so… tender? Flattered? Warm and fuzzy maybe? You hold back a flustered laugh. Whatever warm thing it is, you’re sure feeling a lot of it. You stare at the ground, cheeks hot, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you process this in the back of your mind. The majority of your attention is still on Ricky. You’ve been so worried, but he seems okay, which is a huge relief. He catches your eye, and your stomach twists. He’s looking at you like that again, and you’re sure you must be looking at him the same way. Anyone could see it. You snap back to attention, remembering Nina is still in the room with you. 

“We should get going-” you start quietly, reaching for your bag.

“Stay out of this!” she snaps, and you recoil at the sudden sharpness to her voice. “This is between Ricky and me.”  She turns to him, continuing, “And we are not done talking about this.” 

“Don’t talk to her like that.” He says quickly, more defensive of you after what happened earlier. He walks over to you, standing in between you and her. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say it in front of her.” Even though his voice wavers with emotion for a moment, Nina can tell he’s not backing down on this. She weighs her options. 

“Okay.” she starts, sucking her teeth. “I think she’s manipulating you.”

He lets out a breathy laugh with a bitter edge. He rolls his eyes, looking away for a second.

“That’s… hilarious, coming from you…” he mutters. 

“What? She’s been lying to you this whole time! She’s been doing professional theatre for years, Ricky, she-”

“That’s what this is about?” He realizes. “Oh my god, I already knew that!” he yells. Relief floods him as it clicks that all the bullshit she’s been spewing is nothing he didn’t know about already. She really was just trying to get into his head. “She’s not manipulating me, Nini, she’s there for me! There’s a difference! She actually cares about me - unlike you, and Lynne, and everybody else.” 

“That’s not fair-”

“She’s actually there for me, and she doesn’t just bail when shit gets hard. Not like you’d know anything about that.” he says the last part quieter, but she still hears it. She doesn’t have a comeback, she doesn’t have anything she can say to that. 

“I don’t have to listen to this.” She grabs her bag, brushing past him. Before she leaves, he turns to her, finally saying something he never thought he’d be able to. 

“I’m starting to think I wasn’t the problem in our relationship.” 

She freezes, turning to him slowly, eyes glistening.

“What?”

“You heard me.” he states. 

“You know what?” There’s nothing she can say, no comeback, no way to defend herself. She lets a single tear fall. “Screw you, Ricky.” She leaves quickly, huffing at what he said. He turns to you, still staring at where she left in disbelief. You exhale for what feels like the first time since this confrontation began, then immediately turn your attention back to Ricky. You’re grabbing your stuff as quickly as you can, desperate to finally get out of here, laughing nervously. 

“I can’t believe this night keeps getting worse. Look, we can just go home, we don’t have to go to Denny’s or anything if you don’t want to, I just want to make sure you’re okay, because obviously a lot of-” 

“I love you.” 

It tears from his throat with more raw emotion than you’ve ever heard, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyes widen as his hands come up to hold your face. He wants to kiss you so badly, more than he’s wanted anything, and you can feel it. He keeps going.

“I love you so much, I wanted to say it before. I’ve wanted to say it since that first amazing night we spent together. Ever since you snuck me into your room, and we talked and watched old episodes of cartoons, and you took me in when I needed you, I have loved you. And then you got those little plastic rings when we were running late for rehearsal, because we stopped for coffee and peach scones, and- and we traded colors, I felt like my heart was going to explode.” 

His thumbs caress your cheeks, and it makes you light headed. 

“I wanted to say it when we were dancing at homecoming and you were so beautiful I thought I’d die, I wanted to say it every time we kissed, and every time you laugh so hard your nose scrunches up, I wanted to say it. You made me fall in love with theatre, and this beautiful place, and with you. You love everyone around you so selflessly,” his voice breaks, “please, let me love you. The way you deserve to be loved. Even if you don’t want to say it back-” 

“I love you too.” You can’t help interrupting him, unable to ignore how true they are any longer. He’s stopped dead in his tracks. “I would have said something sooner, but the last thing I wanted was for you to feel pressured, so I… figured I’d follow your lead.” The room is quiet as he tries to get the air back in his lungs. 

“You love me?” he breathes.

“Yeah,” you confirm, nodding, “I do.” 

He takes one look at you, holding you intensely in his gaze, confirming that you really just said that. In one swift motion, he pulls you close to him, dipping you, and finally connects his lips to yours. He kisses you more passionately than anything he’s ever done. He kisses the air out of your lungs, kisses away the little space between you, desperately kissing everything he feels for you onto your lips. You lose yourself for a beautiful moment in that kiss. You’re not sure how long you stay like that, holding each other as close as you can get, with kissing as the only means of expressing the depths of your feelings, but it’s long enough that your lungs burn when you finally pull away. He barely moves his face away from yours as you attempt in sync to catch your breath. 

“Say it again,” he murmurs against your lips. 

“I love you,” you say, soft and sincere, that beautiful smile on your lips where his ache to be again. He reacts instantly to your words, picking you up, and kissing you again and again. You wrap your legs around his waist, giggling in surprise. He sets you on the table in front of the big dressing room mirror where Ashlyn’s character shoes still sit. The mental note to make sure she doesn’t forget them flies out of your mind as Ricky kisses you again and again, mouth open against yours. His lips are all over your face and your neck, turning you into a giggling mess as he holds you tight. He mutters sweet nothings against your skin that turn sensual very quick, but mostly he keeps telling you how much he loves you between kisses, mumbling the three words into your skin over and over. 

“Ricky…” you trail off as he bites your neck playfully, causing you to let out a flustered noise. “We have to go upstairs…” you start to forget what you were saying as he runs his tongue over your skin. “Our parents are waiting!” you laugh, desperately holding onto the train of thought. 

“Let them wait…” he murmurs, “You said we could kiss after the show, and… it’s after.” The flustered look on your face is too much for him, and he presses his lips to yours again, pushing his tongue into your mouth. You feel so good, your skin is so soft and you smell so sweet, and it’s all so much more now that he’s said it, now that you said it back to him. He squeezes your thigh and bites your lip and moans into your mouth, loving every noise you make, every tug of his hair and grab of his shirt. He’s so desperate for you and your touch, he would fuck you right here if he could. He considers it for a moment. 

After eavesdropping too long for her own good, Nina feels a solitary tear roll down her cheek. Ricky’s words ring in her ears. He loves you. He didn’t just say it back, he initiated it. She didn’t stick around too long, just enough for it to hurt. She reaches into her bag, pulling out her songwriting book. She’s sure this will give her plenty to write about, she thinks bitterly. She could probably get a whole album out of it. ‘At least then the pain would be worth something…’ she muses, taking one last look over her shoulder before leaving the dressing rooms - and Ricky - out of her sight.

Eventually, you and Ricky manage to drag yourselves upstairs and greet people in the lobby. Mike finds him quickly, pulling him aside to check on him. He looks back over at you, accepting flowers from your mom and pulling her in for a hug. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m okay.” He doesn’t look away from you, and Mike doesn’t miss this. His son is a lot of wonderful things, but he sure wouldn’t describe him as subtle. Ricky watches you as a girl in a pink dress walks up nervously to you with who he presumes is her sister. He’s too far away to hear your conversation over the chatter from people milling about, but your face lights up after she speaks. You pull a hot pink sharpie out of your bag and sign her playbill before handing it back to her. The sight makes his chest squeeze. He didn’t know you were good with kids, but it makes total sense - you’re good with everybody. 

Mike nudges him toward you.

“Go ahead,” he smiles, so Ricky does. 

“Hey,” he starts, pausing when a woman walks up to him, a little girl hiding behind her leg, looking up at Ricky in admiration. 

“Excuse me,” the woman says, getting his attention. “You were fantastic. She really loves High School Musical, and we wanted to know if you’d sign her playbill…” 

The girl looks up at him nervously, and he smiles, letting out a flustered chuckle. He didn’t expect this, he doesn’t even have a pen - but luckily as always you’re right behind him, extending a sharpie his way. 

“Yeah,” he smiles, “sure, of course!” He scribbles his name across the front before handing it back. “What was your favorite part?” he asks. She considers. 

“We’re All in This Together.” she decides, singing out the song title. 

“No way, that’s my favorite song too!” The way her face lights up is something he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget. She jumps excitedly that someone as cool as Troy Bolton has the same favorite song as her before hiding behind her mom’s legs again. The mom thanks him again before picking up her daughter. Ricky turns to you, not even needing to say anything. 

“I know,” you smile, “it’s the best, right?” 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is.” Your eyes light up that way they do when you remember something, and you reach into your bag. You pull out Ashlyn’s character shoes - thank god you remembered to bring them out with you - and gesture down the hall to where Ashlyn is talking to some of her friends that came to see the show. 

“I’m gonna give these back to Ashlyn, and I’ll meet you and our parents by the doors in like, two seconds.” He agrees, and you part ways. 

“Thank you!” Ashlyn gasps when you hand her the shoes. “I was looking everywhere for these.” 

She pauses, remembering how tense things got between you and Nini earlier before she left. 

“Was everything okay with…” she trails off, jogging your memory. 

“Oh,” you start, a little unsure of how to answer. “Yeah. Everything’s fine now.” You look off to the side, and she follows your gaze to Ricky. He’s talking to his dad and seems to be doing a lot better now, and you seem to be doing better too. 

As you make your way down the hall and across the lobby you’re stopped by a woman you don’t recognize, but she seems to know you, addressing you by name as she introduces herself. 

“I’m Kalyani Patel, the dean of the Youth Actors Conservatory in Denver. I’ve been following your career for some time, and I have to say, I’m very impressed. You’re incredibly talented and have a lot of notable credits for someone as young as you are. We have one more available place available for the upcoming semester, and we would be thrilled for you to attend.” 

“Thank you so much, Kalyani. I’ve heard a lot about Youth Actors Conservatory, and I’m so honored by your offer, but I’m not planning on switching schools at the moment.” You say as graciously as you can. 

“Of course, I understand.” She smiles. 

“Thank you again for the opportunity, and I hope we can work together in the future.” You smile back, saying goodbye, and making your way over to Ricky and your parents. 

After returning to the dressing rooms to write sad song lyrics and watch herself cry in the mirror, when Nina finally finds her moms in the lobby, she has a piece of good news for once.

“The dean of YAC!” she exclaims. 

“I thought they were full, sweetie.” Carol says. She and Dana had gotten a rejection letter addressed to Nini a few days ago, and were trying to find the right time to break the news. 

“She said a spot opened up,” she beams, “which means I’m going to YAC!” 

Her moms hug her, congratulating her on the good news, and that they’d discuss it in detail at home. Nina looks over to where you and Ricky are standing. He holds your hands in his while you talk quietly. You have no idea that soon she’ll be out of here, and you’ll never see her again. She was on the fence, but after what he said to you, she’s made up her mind. She’s leaving this town, and going somewhere that she’ll be appreciated, somewhere she’s wanted. If that happens to be a boarding school in Colorado, then so be it. ‘Take a good look’, she thinks, ‘because that’s the last you’ll ever see of Nini Salazar-Roberts.’ 

 After more mingling, congratulations, flowers, and playbill signing, you turn to Ricky.

“You ready to go home?” you ask, walking toward your car. He stops, turning to look at you. 

“You know what? No.” he lets out a breathy laugh. “I don’t want to go home. I… want to go to Denny’s! I’m a theatre kid, and I just finished my first show, and it’s like, tradition to go to Denny’s, so I want to!” You smile at his sudden enthusiasm, laughter matching his. 

“Yeah, okay,” you smile, “let’s go!” 

You both walk over to your castmates, who are trying to figure out a carpool to get everyone there before it gets any later. You nudge Ricky.

“So, does anyone need a ride to Denny’s, or should we just meet you there?” he asks. For what feels like the millionth time, everyone erupts into cheers. You know all your friends were worried about him after what happened, and Seb instigates a group hug, that everyone quickly jumps on to. You think it’s important to end the night on a good note like this, spending time with your castmates, cramming into booths and singing obnoxiously in an empty restaurant. It’s sort of a rite of passage, and you’re glad that Ricky’s able to participate, especially after opening night of his first show. 

You sleep over at his place that night. After everything Ricky’s been through, after he seems to finally be okay again, the last thing Mike wants to do is not let him spend time with someone he’s so close to - especially considering what a good influence Mike thinks you are on him. From what Ricky told him, you didn’t instigate any drama tonight, and spent every spare moment off stage trying to help Ricky through what was going on. It’s not the first time you’ve helped Ricky navigate the ups and downs of growing up in the time you’ve known him, so when Ricky asked if you could stay the night, he agreed. While you’re brushing your teeth, Mike pulls Ricky aside to talk. 

“I spoke to Nini’s moms,” he starts, and Ricky braces himself. “They’re going to talk to her, and I said I’d talk to you to make sure these last shows go smoothly, alright? So, no more fights, no arguing, no more of this… reality tv stuff.” 

“Believe me,” Ricky sighs, “I don’t want any more drama. Especially at the expense of the show.” 

“I know,” Mike agrees. “So just… it’s only a few more shows. Try your best to…” he looks for the words.

“Politely avoid each other?” Ricky supplements.

“Exactly.” Mike nods. “Just politely avoid each other for a few more days, and all this will blow over.” 

When he finally reenters his room, he hands you a t shirt to wear. He knows you probably brought pajamas, but he wants to tell you he loves you in as many ways as he can, like wearing his clothes. When you come back in and sit on his bed in his big shirt and your little shorts, he doesn’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful. 

“Do you want to talk about anything?” you ask tentatively. 

“Not really,” he chuckles. “I feel like I’ve kind of talked it all to death by now.”

“You know what we haven’t talked about?” you ask, a look in your eye that immediately has his attention. “How Nina and EJ - but like, mostly Nina - ruined the finale of the show.” 

“Yeah,” he starts, remembering how stunned he was. “What the fuck was that?” 

You talk shit until you have nothing else to say about it, and soon you’re curled up under the covers together. You’re laughing and talking, and things almost feel normal again. It’s like every bad thing never happened tonight. He doesn’t know how you do it, how you make things feel so okay again, but he holds you tight, clinging onto the feeling. He was going to say it earlier, but he was so distracted by you, by how beautiful you are. 

“I love you.” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He feels you smile against his chest. 

“I love you too, Ricky.” 

You sound so content, so comfortable with him, and he feels like his heart is going to burst. 

“I love you,” he says again, running his fingers along your waist. 

“I love you too,” you giggle sleepily. Every time you think he’s asleep, he says it again, and again, and again. He can’t help himself, he loves the way you blush and giggle, loves how warm you are against him, loves the way you say it back to him. It’s quiet for a little while, but you feel his hands still tracing little shapes into your skin. You glance up at him to find him staring at you  in that way that makes your stomach twist. 

“Close your eyes,” you mutter, drowsy. 

“But I love you.” he replies quietly, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I love looking at you. I love everything about you.” 

“I love you too,” you answer groggily, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt better than he does when you say it like that. “But we have a full day of school in the morning, then homework, then another show to perform in, so we have to get at least a little sleep.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, eyes growing heavy as the day catches up to him. “As long as we have time for coffee and peach scones.”

“There is literally always time for coffee and peach scones.” he chuckles at how quickly you respond. You lean up, pressing a kiss to his nose, then snuggle back into his chest. It’s his favorite time of day again, he realizes, where he gets to sleep next to you, and kiss, and cuddle. Except this time, it’s better than it ever has been, because right before you fall asleep, he gets to say it.

“I love you.” he breathes, kissing your forehead.

“‘Love you too.” you mutter, barely awake. Your words reverberate and replay in his mind as he closes his eyes, finally drifting off. He doesn’t know how the next shows are going to go, he doesn't know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about what will happen when the sun rises,  he’s just excited for it to happen with you. He sleeps better than he has in a long time. 

[jimblejamblewritings]

luck be a (leading) lady | part 11.

[Posted 2022.09.29]

Summary: Y/N has always been a background character. That’s just life for some folks isn’t it? But what if she’s determined to not just be another member in the ensemble? What if someone helps her step into the spotlight in her own special way?

Warnings for the Series: a teeny bit of angst but mainly fluff, slow burn

Pairing: ricky bowen x black!reader

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: I’m thinking 3 or 4 parts left after this. It won’t go much further in the story than when Ricky and the reader actually get together.

A/N II: My writing style in this isn’t my favorite but I never realized how hard it would be to do hsmtmts as a series fic. I still love the plot though so I’m going to see it through but serious thank you to all the readers that enjoy this story because I’m honestly not sure about my own writing here.

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist) 

“EJ, care to share why we aren’t in a stretch circle right now?” Kourtney asked through a yawn. 

“Corbin and Channing need more.” 

“More?”

“Just some reality style juice to bring everything to life.”  

“What EJ means is that the docuseries and the musical are getting canceled if we don’t bring some pettiness to our performances,” Carlos explained. “So the three of us spent all night, and well into six am, making a plan. I present the RCOSL.” 

“What?” Ashlyn just stared at the first posterboard in confusion. 

“The Real Campers of Shallow Lake? I thought that was pretty self-explanatory.”

“Look, it’s easy,” EJ encouraged. “You know how as real people we pick up on social cues and other people’s feelings?”

“Do we?” Gina asked pointedly. 

Carlos cut in after EJ faltered. “Anyway, forget being nice. Think of the three Bs. Bombshells, betrayals, and bitch slaps.”

“Look I love the real housewives but we’re students not millionaires. We have no money to burn or kids to blame, so how are we pulling this off?” Kourtney asked. 

Jett leaned back in his seat. “Can I be Team Kourtney on this one?”

Carlos sighed and showed the next posterboard. “Here’s how. Everyone needs roles and we’ve already taken the liberty of assigning them. Play your part to a T.”

No one was quite sure about the plan but if it saved the show then they would consider it. Although, they were starting to wonder how much of these roles were completely made up. Some seemed a bit personal. The judgy one, the jilted ex, the one with a dark past, the crier, the one who's here for the wrong reasons, the one the audience pities, the one with a catchphrase, the shrink, the bad boy, and the instigator. 

“It’s a formula and the formula works,” Val said with a nod.

“Isn’t this a little tawdry?” Kourtney asked. 

“I was going to say the exact same thing,” Jett spoke up from behind Kourtney. 

“And that is why, Kourt, you get to be the judgy one,” Carlos said. 

Val slapped Kourt’s picture up on the board underneath the label that read judgy. Everyone else started getting parts assigned. Jilted ex— Ricky. Dark past— Ashlyn. Crier— Maddox. Wrong reasons— EJ. Pitiful one— You. Catchphrase— Gina. Shrink— Val. Bad boy— Jett. Instigator— Carlos. Everyone else could pick who they would stick by throughout the show.  

Ricky and Gina looked at each other. Gina raised her hand. “Um, is giving Y/N the role of being the one the audience pities a good idea?” 

“Of course,” Carlos said. “She doesn’t even have to act, it limits risks of everyone messing up the less actors we have. It’s why I’m the instigator. And Val’s the shrink because she’s a psych major.”

“Oh, good, so we aren’t stretching for these parts,” Kourtney said. 

Carlos pointed at her. “Good. I want a lot more of that energy today.” 

“Wait, why is it less risk?” Gina was focused on that part.  

“Because her social anxiety and the fact that she never gets the lead despite having enough talent is the perfect thing for the audience to root for.”

Ricky sat up. “Dude, that’s not cool.” 

“People have to be exploited, Ricky. Why do you think you’re the jilted ex?”

“I’m not jilted.”

“But you are an ex, just play it up.” 

Ricky’s nostrils flared slightly but he dropped it. Everyone started to get a bit excited about the idea, mainly Ashlyn and some of the ensemble. It was just another role. Besides, everyone knew that reality tv wasn’t all that real. They listened to their four goals for the day. Cry, Slap, Throw a drink, Get caught saying something scandalous on a hot mic. Aside from the drink throwing, it seemed easy enough. Even the drink wouldn’t be too bad— they just had to find a scenario that called for drink throwing. Carlos had already organized how the slap would be done. At some point they’d have an exercise on fake slapping for theater and someone would just “accidentally” hit someone else. It was brilliant. Now, they just needed to figure out who was willing to take a handprint to the cheek for the team. 

They were all working on slaps and other things while waiting for Corbin and Channing. Maddox and Ashlyn were backstage trying to figure out a way to make Maddox cry. She wasn’t someone who could just turn on the tears. Nothing Ashlyn was suggesting even made her think about crying. Carlos walked by. 

“We’ll work out the kinks… I know! You two are in love with the same boy. How about…” He looked around. “Oh, Jett! Perfect, everyone loves a bad boy. You both are in love with Jett but he’s obviously in a relationship with Y/N— But he’s looking at Kourtney. We get a love triangle and a potential cheating scandal all in one. We might actually be better than the housewives.”

“Jett? Oh, God, no,” Maddox protested but Ashlyn was so in. 

“Oh, God, yes. It makes sense that I, with a dark past, would be attracted to the bad boy.”

Carlos called Jett over to explain. “Jett, do you know Maddox? She has the hots for you.” 

A mix between a laugh and a scoff escaped his mouth. Before he could protest, Carlos held up a hand. 

“And so does Ashlyn. But you have the hots for Kourtney which creates a problem and is the source of mega angst in your relationship with Y/N.” 

“Woah, we are not d—”

“Channing is here!” EJ yelled. “Let’s practice Kristoff and Anna first so we can get some good ex stuff with Ricky and then we’ll move into Young Anna and Elsa for Carlos’ diva moment.”  

Carlos left before Jett or Maddox could protest about his idea. They both looked at each other and shuddered before getting to where they were supposed to be for the camera. You could feel the tension when you finally made it to The Barn for rehearsal. Everything started to go wrong as Alex and Emmy rehearsed the scene where Young Anna and Young Elsa created Olaf for the first time. Carlos had started complaining and the two girls who you watched be friends were suddenly at each other’s throats about who was in charge of the snow. 

“Is this supposed to be fake snow?” Carlos complained. “Because it looks like sea salt.” 

“Emmy’s the one that grabbed the wrong prop.”

“Me? You’re Elsa, shouldn't you be in charge of all the fake snow?”

You stepped in between the girls. “How about I be in charge of the snow? Remember what you learned as part of the Guppy Troupe.”

“Arguing about the problem doesn’t solve the problem,” the three of you repeated. 

“Perfect. So since I’m the Principal Snowflake, I’ll make sure the snow looks better and spread out more. Deal?” 

The two girls muttered an “I guess” and stepped aside. Val was waiting to see your dance planned for Anna and Elsa building Olaf. You wanted to make it simple and really highlight the girls since they wouldn’t be onstage for pretty much the rest of the show. You took off the booties protecting your ballet shoes and showed Val. It was really simple. You planned on starting behind Carlos. Emmy would toss snow and then Alex. Since Alex was Young Elsa, you thought that was when you would spring to life. In between the two girls you would do a couple of balancés to grab each bucket. 

“And then just simple soutenus as I throw snow, maybe a pique when I toss the buckets off stage to Maddie. Oh and all in demi pointe since Elsa’s powers aren’t very developed yet, so I wanted to use my standard ballet slippers instead of pointe for the first bit.” 

“That sounds decent,” Val said. 

“Decent? That’s what she came up with? That’s it?”

Your eyebrows knitted together as you looked between Carlos and Val. Was the routine that bad? It wasn’t the top of your skill set but that was the point. They knew that. They had seen your work before… Well, they hadn’t. No one showed up to watch you in The Nutcracker and you weren’t sure they ever bothered to watch the performance video of it. Maybe they did think this was the best you could do. You felt your breathing start to get a bit shallow. Ricky closed his script, putting his focus on you.  

“Carlos, I said it was decent. Decent means we have time to workshop it. The rest of the routines aren’t like this are they?” 

“You think Clara could put together something better.”

“I-I wanted the girls to sh-shine so—”

“Then what’s the point of having a principal snowflake? And where were you earlier? We had to push this scene back you know, we did Ricky and Gina song first. It’s not even close to the top of the show.” 

“I told EJ.” You gestured feebly to the director. “I was working on the dances and I had an audition fo—”

“An audition?” Carlos looked around you to focus on Val. “She isn’t even focused on our show.” 

“Carlos,” Ricky cut in. 

“Were you doing something else, Y/N?” Val asked you. 

You stuttered through another sentence about EJ knowing. 

“Are you always this unfocused because we can talk about it some other time but right now the show is our priority.” 

“She’s always like this,” Carlos added. “Not to be an instigator but that’s why she’s never been more than principal dancer. Her talent is probably the best but she thinks she’s better than everyone just because she’s gone pro.” 

He said the last bit in an exaggerated stage whisper. EJ winked at Carlos and Val, knowing Channing’s camera wouldn’t catch him in frame. This was going great. You could feel your face get hot as it got harder to take a proper breath. Ricky watched your fingers tremble as you tried to clasp your hands together. You took a couple steps backwards when the tears started. Both Jett and Ricky moved towards you— Ricky reaching first— to stop you from accidentally falling off the stage. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Ricky barely got the words out before Jett was moving him out the way. 

“Don’t bother her more. Y/N/N, look at me.” Jett held your shoulders. “We’re going outside now, okay?” 

You hit at your chest. 

“We can breathe better outside.” 

You followed Jett’s lead to stand on the porch of the barn. Inside, they were still rolling with the scenario. Ashlyn turned to Maddox. 

“Doesn’t it suck that he went to go help her? I mean I guess that’s his girlfriend and all.”

“They aren’t dating!” Maddox blurted out.

“We can only dream, Gadget, can—”

“She’s our cousin!” 

“I k— wait, what? Our cousin, you and Jett…” 

“Are siblings, yes! He’s the literal worst but he’s still my brother. I never want to date him, oh, and I’m gay.” 

Maddox stormed backstage to the props table. She was okay with the reality script just not okay with anyone ever insinuating that she and her brother would be a thing. Channing thought he got enough footage for the day and started to pack up most of his film equipment. He told the cast they needed to take a picture for promo. He’d be back shortly to show them the preview for the documentary to drum up interest in people watching the musical on livestream and also to watch the docuseries when it came out. EJ went to go get you and Jett for the picture. Ricky lit up at hearing Maddox’s words. 

“Wait, they’re cousins?” 

Even Carlos looked surprised. “My straightdar must be broken. Can we all agree they were definitely the grumpy sunshine trope?” 

Everyone nodded their heads. You came walking back in, immediately moving to sit next to Ricky. He was on the edge of the group and you didn’t want to be smushed in between everyone. It felt too claustrophobic at the moment. He wiped at the tear stains to try and make them less visible for the photo. Ricky looked down when you reached for his hand, barely lifting his head in time for the shot. While everyone else was discussing what to do next when Channing returned, Ricky took you outside. You both sat on the bench attached to the barn’s porch. 

“Carlos didn’t mean anything.” 

“I know, it’s for the reality show. Jett told me.” 

“I can’t believe you two are cousins.” 

“Of course we are. Why do you think I talk to him and Maddie with no problem? We’ve known each other since diapers.” 

“Everyone kind of thought you were dating.” 

You gagged. “Jett? Ew, really?” 

“You can’t blame us.” 

“Yes, I can. Come on, Maddie, Jett, and I are obviously related.”

Ricky raised his eyebrows. “Obviously?” 

“Same smiles.”

“When have we ever seen Jett smile?”

“Okay, fair enough,” you said with a laugh. 

“Hey, what audition were you talking about?” 

“Oh.” You picked at your booties. “For the ballet. Saltwater always holds auditions in summer for the first musical and ballet of the season but most pros are on tour so they can send in videos. Normally I do it in person but they moved up the date this year. I need to send it in by the day of our show or I’m not auditioning.” 

“What’s the show?”

“The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.” 

“Really? That’s awesome. Are you going for Susan or Lucy?”

“Do I look like I could pull off either? Don’t even think about mentioning Clara again.” You chuckled when Ricky closed his mouth. “I was thinking maybe The White Witch? They showed us the costume designs and part of her solo.” 

“Well, whichever one you want. It’ll be perfect. Hey, do you wa—”

“Y/N! Can we talk? Like sister time.” Gina stood in front of you. 

You gave Ricky a half-smile but he just brushed it off and encouraged you to go. You walked with Gina through the camp just so she could walk and talk. She was going through a somewhat rough patch with EJ. He was a bit tense this summer. But she was more pissed that he seemed to be confiding in Val instead of her. It wasn’t even jealousy over Val. It was the fact that maybe he didn’t trust her enough to say anything. 

“I just didn’t think my summer of firsts would involve my first boyfriend fight. We’re not even fighting. It’s like one-sided confusion.” 

“Maybe,” you started to suggest very carefully. “You need a break.” 

“What?” 

“Not forever. Just until the end of camp? EJ is going through a big transition in his life and it’s very clear what you want and where your boundaries are. It’s not like I’m saying go explore other options. Sometimes, you need alone time to figure out what you really want. You know what you want, G, but maybe he doesn’t? Or maybe he doesn’t know how to get what he wants?” 

“You think a break would help?”

“I think if you explained it clearly to him. Who knows, you might not even need the break then? Just talk to EJ, he might not even realize that he’s making you feel this way.” 

Gina gave you a hug. “This is why I love sister time. I’m gonna miss staying with you.” 

You laughed as you hugged her back. “You act like you’re leaving Salt Lake. It’s just your mom coming back to town, you can still come over for breakfast just like Ricky.”

Ricky went to go figure out something while you talked to Gina. He was pretty sure he saw a little campfire area with almost proper log benches and some bushes. Instead of seeing an empty bench, he saw Jett sitting there. 

“How do you always manage to find my hiding spots?”

“Dude, don’t.”

“You okay?” Ricky sat down next to him. 

“The blow-up Maddie and I had back there wasn’t even the half of it. She’s seen me as the bad guy for most of her life, she doesn’t think I was playing a role today. Forget it.”

“Why don’t you try to show her you’re sorry? You can’t be all that bad.” 

Jett huffed. “I see why you like Y/N, you two have the same blind optimism in people.” 

“I don’t l—” Ricky didn’t even bother finishing as Jett walked away. 

Carlos passed by. “Is he…”

“Oh, he’s fine. It’s about him and Maddox.” 

“Thank goodness. I just found Y/N. I had no idea she didn’t know about the plan, I thought someone would have filled her in.” 

“She knows now. And you killed it today.” 

“Thanks,” Carlos said with a smile. “So did you. Jilted ex suits you, bro… Oh, oh, I said bro and now you’re probably going to reveal something.” 

“It’s possible I wasn’t completely acting. Except I don’t know if I can be a jilted ex if I never got the chance to be an ex.” 

Carlos turned his entire body to face Ricky on the bench. “Wait? That wasn’t an act today? You and Gina—”

“Gina? No. We’ve always been just friends.” 

“Then who? The only other girl I see you wi— wait, are you gay? Are we talking about EJ, Jett?” 

“Close to Jett— I like Y/N. I’ve been trying to be just friends but I’m slowly failing. I think I more than like her. Is that crazy? I couldn’t even say it to Nini but with Y/N... I think I love her, Carlos … What?”

Carlos pointed, with wide eyes, behind Ricky. “I guess that covers the hot mic scandal.” 

Ricky looked to see Channing running out of the bushes. He squeezed his eyes shut. Did Channing just catch his confession on tape? This was bad. The entire world was going to hear it. You were going to see it. Ricky had to face the idea that he was going to have to tell you. It would be better for you to hear it from him than from a documentary. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You had so easily told him about your past crush on him… but you had said it like it was nothing. You got over it but Ricky wasn’t sure he could get over his. He had no clue what he was going to do. 

(part 12)

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[mickeytheticklee]

Jealousy tickles

Pairing: Ler!Gina Porter x Lee!Reader

Summary: You throw a surprise for Gina after a bad night of jealousy

Warnings: Tickling, raspberries, bad flirting?, hsmtmts spoilers if you care about that, writing this I realize there's no mention of Ricky Bowen

An: Based on the one episode where Ricky decorates Gina's trailer

Having a girlfriend makes you do weird things, such as suddenly being an expert on arts and crafts on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Wait Gi I'm not finished.", You say, although Gina enters her trailer. You would stop her from entering but you were too busy setting up streamers and making sure it didn't drop. Sure enough when Gina opened the door it fell again, but with dozens of failed attempts you gave up. But one streamer doesn't matter when you decorated a whole banner, got her a gift basket with all her favorite goodies, and a Build a Bear stuffed animal clothed as a cheerleader in less than three hours. Gina was flabbergasted, not believing the surprise you left in her trailer. It was as if you were throwing a birthday party, even if both of your birthdays landed during second semester. Before seizing a splurge of kisses or a hug you fix one minor detail to your plan.

“Wait!", You say, putting your hand up. You grabbed the red and white confetti from the couch and swooshed it in the air. Yes it made a big mess but it didn't matter, since there's people to clean up the mess. “Okay now I'm finished."

With much energy Gina gave you a big hug. The ones that she loves you a bit too hard that it sucks your soul out. You've gotten better at holding her whenever she leans foward in hugs. Usually when she does your masculine strength can barely hold on and you almost fall over. But not this time. Secretly in your mind you give yourself props for that.

“You did all this?? How??", Gina asks, looking around at her trailer filled with treats. She's never been happier in her entire life. Plus this was perfect timing as she's been having a tiring day from filming scene to scene on HSM4 with costar Mack.

“It took two days, bribery, and some advice from Ashlyn but I made it happen.", You say, smiling at Gina. Preparation was WORK, but it was worth it to see a billion dollar smile from Gina. In one day you were on a mission to get Gina's favorites from the mall and set them up into a basket. As for the cute bear in a red cheerleading outfit you had a friend from Build A Bear to give you a discount (not because you were friends but because your girlfriend is a movie star). As far as the trailer you told your plan to Ashlyn, the only person that knows about you and Gina from an accidental make out in the bathroom during Halloween. She liked it, although complained that it was missing something. That anyone who was dating Gina needed to go big or go home.

Coming from the person who lived with Gina for awhile, you can trust her word.

“You're such a surprise everyday y/n, but why?", Gina asks, having her hands on the back of your neck. She had on a cheerleader outfit on with her hair straightened with a ponytail, such a look that you absolutely love. Gina has been flaunting the hell out of her cheerleading outfits that it had put you in such a lee mood. Which makes you rewind that you set this surprise up from you seeing Gina share a tickle moment with Mack.

“I wanted to apologize for being a dick with Mack and being a downer during the whole. It wasn't me.", You say, apologizing for what happened last night. You two sit down on the couch, discussing of what came from the small gathering at Ashlyn's house.

“I can't be mad, Kourtney was sort of pushing it with the ship questions between me and Mack.", Gina says, holding your hand. A couple of days ago there was a celebration of Gina being the lead role of HSM4, the reunion. As everyone was dancing to hsm songs and eating pizza from Biggie's pizzeria the main event was Mack coming. He came with stacks of Apple cider for everyone to enjoy, all while wearing the matching purple and blue bracelet as Gina. Suddenly that small detail had the party questioning if there was a secret relationship with Gina.

She's in a secret relationship, just not with him.

Thru numerous denies everyone was suspecting that they were a thing. Even though the evidence in question was being in a movie with him and matching bracelets they had to make for a scene. Yet she was wearing the headphones you gifted her and her lipstick being smack dab in the middle of your neck, in the open. Same shade and all. Yet the small photo that Kourtney took of them made them viral in less than twenty minutes, and now suddenly people were asking questions and making ship names for them. MaGi, seriously?

“I know, but I haven't been much of a supportive girlfriend since you've been casted. I'm proud of you for taking this opportunity and that after school you'll go to new Zealand and be a pretty princess.", You say, grazing Gina's chin. Gina giggles, her nose scrunching while looking at you. “I sort of...been jealous of you and Mack. I mean I know we're supposed to have a secret relationship because of the documentary and hiding that you aren't such a mean bisexual but I thought maybe someone could've gotten the hint. Excluding Ashlyn because she's nosy. But I'm sorry, I should've never acted that way."

You were waiting for a response from Gina's big brown eye stare. She stares trying to copy your habit of wandering in her eyes and just smiling. When she stops she leans in for a soft kiss. Feeling the small spark you both kiss again. “I accept your apology, and I understand. Having to idolize Mack and making a movie with him people have seemed to be more delusional than me. But I promise once this musical and movie are over we'll hangout more and hopefully they'll get the hint that we're dating. But Mack is America's puppy, you're my puppy.", Gina says, patting your head. You weren't ever sure if your friends will get the hint of you and Gina dating. They'll still bring up the Mack cutout even if she was wearing your sweatshirt.

“Also...there's a lot of things that I wouldn't do to Mack that I'd do to you.", She says, her tone getting slightly lower while making intense eye contact with you. You make intense eye contact back, almost wanting to break it by how wide your smile was getting. You thought Gina's flirt was another chance to kiss you, but sometimes you never know what she's thinking.

“And what is it?", You saying, leaning closer trying to close the hint with a kiss. As you get closer Gina doesn't budge, but she does smirk. “Why don't I tickle you and find out.", Gina says, not even giving you a five second head start and tickling you. You were laughing with your head back over Gina's probing to your side.

“GIGIGIGI!!", You say, already laughing and barely getting any strength out to release her hand from the grips on your side. Although you say her name in hopes for her to stop you make no effort to push the tickles away. In fact you tried to get in a comfortable position on the couch to get your giggles in from Gina. Even if most of the tickles were done sneaking in Gina's bed at night a small brown couch in the trailer will do. Your laughter melts on the couch, letting your body vibe with the giggles and scribbling of Gina's fingers to your tummy.

“I forgot you haven't been tickled for four days, no wonder why you've been a bit jealous.", She says, teasing you. Still laughing upon the tickles you cover your face in embarrassment. You can sense the pink rising from your cheeks. “SHUTUPUPHAHAHA!!", You say, reacting to the pokes and deep thumb massaging on your side, inching close to your ribs. You were laying down, being surprised that your limbs were under control from the wild tickling. But that's the power of Gina's tickling, to where everything else is calm but your still screeching and wheezing until it stops.

“Shut up? Make me. Use that masculine strength of yours to get me to stop.", She teases you once again. You always brag about being strong and calling it masculine energy by holding the door for Gina or opening the car door her. Yet Gina adores your high pitched laughs whenever her finger squeezes through your armpit. “STOPHAGAHAHAHA!!!", You laugh, trying to use that energy but instead to Gina unlimited access to tickle your armpits and neck.

Gina giggles, loving to tickle you. “Want me to stop? Okay, I will.", She says, not tickling you anymore. Of course she even knows that won't be possible so she circles your palm with her finger. Within a minute you were pouting and clinging onto Gina, wondering when you'll get tickles back. “I was kidding...", You say whining to Gina. Yet Gina can't go one week without teasing you, even if afterwards you get tortured and you feel better.

“You want me to tickle you? Recite the Mark and Spark theme song.", Gina says, insisting you do that as a reward of possible tickles. As much as Gina obsesses over that show you haven't seen a lick of yet. You tried to sing the melody from the times Jet made fun of Gina for liking such a childish show. Once your mind was able to work you had half of the song memorized, with a few mumbles in between. But it was enough to satisfy Gina.

“Okay lay down so I can tickle you.", She says, pushing you back down and using her one hand to scribble your tummy. The other was holding your hand, still lightly grazing your palm with her thumb. You were giggling, looking at Gina and loving these tickles. You took your hands and scrunched them around Gina's face, wanting her to get closer for a kiss. With each small kiss and little pecks trailing off to your jawline and chin became a very unexpected neck raspberry. “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!", You say, bursting into a fit of giggles. It's surprising that such a thing would make you laugh this hard, since this is Gina's first time ever doing it.

“Wait, that was kind of fun.", Gina says, loving the reaction you gave. You were laughing about it, nodding but being too tongue tied in your giggles to respond back. “NONONOGINAHAHAHHW!!", You say until your words get cut off my laughter again of another neck raspberry from Gina. Since you two been dating she's loves to tickle you. But it's only ever soft tickles while you two are cuddling and watching a movie. You love your soft tickles but you wanted to be challenged and get tortured by Gina. She's been procrastinating on her research because of school and extracurricular activities, but you were good up to now about her not knowing the secret of raspberries.

Still Gina was tickling your tummy, having her hands either on the sweatshirt you were wearing or the bare skin exposed from wiggling around too much. You were still laughing, unable to think of a sneaky comeback that'll make Gina tickle you more. “IHAHHAHAHHAHAHNN", You laugh, still hating how your brain can barely form words from Gina having her fingers around your neck and pinching your thighs. You were gasping for any sense of words but it gets tangled in your loud, bubbly laughter. “Let me give you a break before something happens.", Gina says, giving you some water from her backpack to give to you. Even when hydrated you were still whining about feeling empty without your tickles.

“I'll tickle you tonight during our HSM marathon. But for right now let's go before Kourtney goes on a hunt to find me.", Gina says, helping you up and making sure your sweatshirt isn't too wrinkled. By this time practice would've been over and everyone heads down the block for pizza. She fixes your collar with stars in her eyes, giving you one last kiss before you're not allowed to be five feet near each other. “Thank you for this surprise."

“Anything for my superstar."

[thewidowsghost]

Ashes (HSMTMTS x Salazar-Roberts Reader) - Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

"Ladies and gentleman, just a reminder that the auditions for the musical will begin in the auditorium in five minutes," The words ring from the intercom.

Nini fixes her gaze on her sister excitedly.

(Y/n)'s gaze sparkles warmly. "Let's go!" (Y/n) says and Nini bounces excitedly.

. . .

"People! Make sure your audition number is clearly visible on your clothes!" Carlos yells over the bustle of the room. "This isn't a game."

(Y/n) chuckles, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Nini and (Y/n) were sitting on opposite sides of the room - their usual audition ritual. Nini is accompanied by EJ and Kourtney.

(Y/n) leans over her guitar, her fingers gently plucking a soft tune - her usual audition ritual - her eyes closed as her nose points down towards the guitar.

There is a knocking on the doorframe of the room, and there is a ringing silence.

"Okay, theatre people," Miss Jenn, who had walked into the room, claps her hands. "Let's do this."

Then her eyes fall on (Y/n), whose guitar is still sitting in her lap.

"Bring the guitar," Miss Jenn says, then she leaves, (Y/n) blinking in surprise.

(Y/n) puts a strap on her guitar, and she follows her twin out of the room, her guitar resting on her back.

. . .

Miss Jenn stops beside (Y/n), who is sitting offstage, tuning her guitar.

"How long have you been playing guitar?" Miss Jenn asks, and (Y/n) blinks, looking surprised.

"About nine to ten years," (Y/n) replies.

"Well, good luck," Miss Jenn tells her.

(Y/n) watches Miss Jenn with a slightly confused look on her face, but as she goes to focus back on guitar, she catches the eye of a very pretty redhead who is standing in a line to do her audition readings.

The redhead is dressed in a pink sweatshirt with the same shade of pink sweatpants, and her hair is pulled back.

The redhead smiles at (Y/n), her eyes crinkling cutely.

All the breath leaves (Y/n)'s chest and she sits stunned for a moment before she shakes herself.

(Y/n) looks up again when she sees Miss Jenn stop in front of the redhead.

"You," Miss Jenn studies the redhead closely. "You're giving me uncommon depth. Ms. Darbus?" Miss Jenn offers.

"I'm dying. I'm deceased. Yes." the girl says and (Y/n) giggles uncharastically.

"Oh, your application says you play piano?" Miss Jenn asks.

"I dabble," the girl replies.

"You ever written a song?" Miss Jenn asks.

"I mean, nothing I've ever shared with anyone," the girl admits.

"I always thought the drama teacher should have an Act Two power ballad," Miss Jenn smiles at the girl.

(Y/n) continues to watch as Miss Jenn reaches Nini. "And how about we have you read for Kelsi?" Miss Jenn asks.

(Y/n) sets down her guitar and goes to stand next to the last boy in line.

Nini pauses, and she glances down at her twin. (Y/n) nods her encouragement.

"Gabriella," Nini corrects. "I wanna audition for Gabriella."

"Okay," Miss Jenn smiles at Nini. She moves on to the boy in between (Y/n) and Nini. "You're reading for Ryan, right?" she asks.

(Y/n) can sense the boy's discomfort, and Carlos pipes up, "I think he'd rather play Sharpay."

Miss Jenn looks back at the blonde haired boy, and he grins. "I love that. That is so fresh."

Miss Jenn takes one more step to stand in front of (Y/n). Glancing back at Nini, Miss Jenn can see the similarities between the two girls.

Studying (Y/n) closely, Miss Jenn glances down at her clipboard.

. . .

"Okay, the last of the Troys," Miss Jenn says as EJ walks onto stage with a basketball clutched in his hands. "And he comes with props." EJ fake throws the ball, and catches it again, chuckling. "Whenever you're ready," Miss Jenn tells EJ. "Okay," her voice softens, "what do I need to know?" she asks Carlos, who is sitting beside her.

"EJ Caswell," Carlos begins. "Most Instagram followers. Co-Captain of the Water Polo team. Senior class treasurer. Wakes up looking like that. Doesn't know I exist."

"I hope he can carry a tune," Miss Jenn says.

As EJ sings his piece, Nini smiles, her eyes softening with affection.

"Well, excuse me, Armie Hammer just called," Miss Jenn says and (Y/n)'s eyebrows raise. "He wants his jawline back." (Y/n) chuckles and EJ looks confused, glancing over at Nini and (Y/n), who were standing next to each other. "We're moving on to the Gabriellas," Miss Jenn goes on as EJ walks over to the wings.

The girl - Gina Porter, who had the fancy dance moves in the warm up - sings her piece with a steady voice.

"She's good," Nini murmurs in (Y/n)'s ear, sounding worried.

"We're going together," (Y/n) replies. "You're leading. You'll do amazing."

EJ comes to stand beside Nini and Nini turns to her boyfriend. "Okay, I could really use some last-minute tips. Like, now."

(Y/n) steps slightly away so they could talk.

"And that's why I love you," (Y/n) can hear EJ say, and Nini freezes.

. . .

(Y/n) is walking up to her bedroom but she freezes at her door as Ricky rushes past.

"Ricky?" (Y/n) asks but Ricky doesn't answer, his head bowed.

(Y/n) messes with her doorknob before she moves to Nini's room where her twin was hugging a pillow to her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Nin?" (Y/n) asks, moving over to her sister's bed.

Sitting down, Nini collapses into her sister's arms, sobbing against her shoulder.

. . .

"You ready?" (Y/n) asks her sister.

"Any intel on these two?" Miss Jenn asks as the two sisters walk out into the center of the stage.

"Nini Salazar-Roberts," Carlos says, nodding to Nini. "Harmless chorus girl. Usually plays farm animals and trees. (Y/n) Salazar-Roberts," Carlos goes on, gesturing to (Y/n). "Orchestra girl. Plays cello, guitar, viola, and piano. Co-Captain of the cross-country team."

"Okay, Nini, (Y/n)! Whenever you're ready," Miss Jenn says louder so the twins can hear.

Nini goes to start, but there are heavy footsteps approaching somewhere, and (Y/n) and Nini pause.

The door at the back of the auditorium slams open and (Y/n) scowls as she hears Ricky yell, "Am I too late? Am I too late?"

The redhead, whose eye (Y/n) had caught earlier, watches (Y/n) as she turns, facing her twin, murmuring something that the others can't hear. The redhead can see Nini relax a little, however.

"We're all set on Troys," Miss Jenn tells Ricky as he jumps up the stairs. "We're low on Chads. You can read after the Gabriellas."

"I-I only studied the Troy scenes in the movie," Ricky stutters and EJ rolls his eyes.

"Troy would have arrived on time," Carlos replies, looking annoyed.

"I hope that was ironic," (Y/n) comments and the others laugh.

Miss Jenn turns away from Ricky and back towards (Y/n) and Nini, who were standing shoulder to shoulder, (Y/n)'s feet spread slightly, as though grounding herself.

"Whoo!" EJ yells, cheering his girlfriend on.

Miss Jenn starts, her coffee spilling on the light board.

Electricity crackles and the lights flicker off, leaving the others sitting in darkness.

"Nobody panic!" Miss Jenn calls after a moment, trying to mop up her spilled coffee with a few sheets of paper. "Girls, let's wait for the lights to come back on," she goes on. "I don't want this to throw you."

(Y/n) takes a deep breath, exchanging a glance with Nini.

"We're not thrown," Nini says, furrowing her eyebrows.

(Y/n) and Nini begin the song, and both Ricky and EJ jump up, flicking on their phone lights and shining them in (Y/n) and Nini's eyes.

. . .

Watching the twins sing, the redhead notices how well their voice complement each other's, Nini's higher voice easily matching up with (Y/n)'s lower voice.

Just as the two finish, the lights flicker back on.

(Y/n) glances at Nini. "Funny how that happens."

Nini regards her twin with amusement, while the others on the stage laugh.

Miss Jenn considers the two in front of her for a moment, Ricky and EJ turning off their phone flashlights.

"Good job you two," Miss Jenn says, looking impressed.

(Y/n) grins at her sister and the two walk over, sitting down.

Nini had plopped herself beside EJ, leaving (Y/n) to sit in between her and the pretty redhead that had caught her eye earlier.

"You, late boy," Miss Jenn calls back to Ricky. "Let's do the Chad sides."

(Y/n) throws a protective arm around Nini's shoulders as Ricky walks to the middle of the stage.

Word Count: 1484 words

If you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

[retvenkos]

“and the thought of you fills my mind”

requested

MY GIRL KOURTNEY HAVING A SECRET ADMIRER WOULD JUST HAVE TO INCLUDE SOME OF THE FOLLOWING...

okay, so when she gets the first note in her locker before school, she definitely looks at it and laughs

she thinks it’s some kind of joke, and she goes to throw it away

nini, however, grabs it from her and reads it

“you have a secret admirer, kourt?”

kourtney denies it, but nini keeps it and doesn’t let her throw it out

when the second note comes, nini gives her this pointed look

and kourtney reads it, and not gonna lie, it makes her smile

and when you see this from at the end of the hall, you definitely smile and start brainstorming the next note you are going to leave her

for weeks, kourtney got a note in her locker every day

small, cute messages

your smile brightens the darkest of days

i love the way you are so confident

your eyes sparkle like beautiful diamonds when you are talking about something you love

they were always small and silly, and never anything too revealing that she might know you by

and this was great. you got to see her open her letter every day as you talked to a friend at the end of the hall

she would smile or laugh and then excitedly show it to nini and as the two whispered about who it might be you would head to your first class. 

then you would see kourtney in your english class, after lunch, and you would get ideas for your next note.

you figured that there was no harm in your notes

she smiled, which meant that she wasn’t freaked out by them, and they were vague enough to not give away your identity

in fact, one day, in english, you saw her the cover of her binder and noticed your flowy cursive (of which you spent weeks perfecting) in the plastic sheath

you had blushed at that and couldn’t stop smiling the entire period

things were going great

you were able to get out your feelings

kourtney didn’t seem to know

and, she wore her denim jacket more often after you had complimented it in one of your notes

and fam, she looked good in it

however, one day you got bold

i mean, it was valentines day!

you were in a mushy mood

so you gave her a letter

and, because you are a romantic idiot, you wanted to leave it on her desk

that necessarily wouldn’t have incriminated you, but you made two grave mistakes

you see, you were an ensemble member in the musical

and when you wrote her the letter?

it was  l o n g  - like, multiple pages long

you had read through it twice to make sure your identity was kept safe

but... some secrets are hard to remember

that was your first mistake

secondly, you were dead set on giving it to her in english that day

so when you walked into class and she was already sitting there, you started to panic

a lesser person would have stopped right there and decided to give it to her another day

but you were stubborn

so you waited

when she left took the hall pass, you acted fast, setting everything up on her desk while the teacher played a video about how to write sonnets

he thought it was appropriate for the holiday

you had silently agreed

perhaps you would start writing sonnets for kourtney

when she came back to a letter and her favorite candy bar on her desk, she had her secret admirer cut down to twenty-two possibilities

that was your second mistake

kourtney read the letter you wrote her three times by the end of the school day, and when she walked into play practice, she knew who had been writing to her for weeks on end.

here��s the thing

there were only 22 people in her english class besides herself

there were only two people in her english class who were in the musical

and in her letter, they mentioned her singing

not just any song - bop to the top

“and when you sing there’s this light that comes out from you. When I first saw you sing, the smile that you had on your face was infectious. You were so beautiful and confident in that moment - you were a beacon of light. I have never listened to Bop To The Top the same since hearing your dulcet voice sing those words.”

only the cast of high school musical had heard that.

kourtney walked into the auditorium, and at that moment she spotted the two people it could be

there you were, in the middle of the stage with carlos, going over choreography for one of the songs, laughing as you got the moves wrong

the letter was still in her hand, and as she watched you from across the room, she smiled

she had only talked to you maybe four times, but from what she did know about you, the words were fitting

besides - she was pretty sure e.j. was not her secret admirer

that would have been a twist

she walked over to you, and even though in your letter you had mentioned how confident and sure of herself kourtney was, she couldn’t help but feel incredibly nervous

when you noticed kourtney walking over to you, you were at first just excited to see her

butterflies, the whole shebang

but then,,, oh no,,, the letter

it was clutched in her hands, the paper crinkling from her tight grip

how did she figure it out?

you weren’t ready for her to know it was you!

“hey”

her sudden quietness couldn’t be good. kourtney was loud, outgoing, funny, beautiful. 

n e v e r  quiet

“hey”

just because you could pretend you were shakespeare when you were writing doesn’t mean you were eloquent in real life.

quite the opposite, actually.

“you’re a great writer, y’know” she gestured to the papers in her hands and you just stared at her dumbfounded “don’t know where you got your inspiration from though.”

“you”

your voice was strong, but laced with confusion.

how could she not know?

“i mean, of course, you would be the inspiration for your own secret admirer letters. who else?”

your sudden courage was unexpected on your end but very much appreciated

kourtney laughed sheepishly and looked down

“yeah, i guess that makes sense.”

you opened up your mouth to say something more - although what you weren’t exactly sure - when miss jen called the ensemble to meet at center stage

kourtney laughed at the bad timing, and you looked at her fondly.

it was now or never

“you really are something special, kourt.”

and you kissed her on the cheek before racing off

kourtney stood there for a moment, a love letter in hand with a flustered smile gracing her lips

she thought of all the ways she could return your weekly favors

and when she came up with a worthy idea, her smile became a smirk and she walked off with that confident bounce in her step

not that you were looking

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

[solarwriting]

good 4 u

e.j. caswell (formerly) x fem!reader

summary: after a bad break up, y/n writes a song and plays it with her band at a party her ex is also at.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, unedited and written at one a.m.

note: i don’t know what this is but the song is so good and i watched the first ep of season two and this was born?? if you want a pronoun change let me know!

posted may 17, 2021

it seemed as soon as he broke up with nini e.j. found a new girl to entertain him. y/n l/n, she wasn’t a part of the musical. it wasn’t her lack of talent so much as it was a lack of interest, she figured focusing on her own music and starting a band would make her seem more serious.

she was pinning a band tryouts flier to the bulletin board in the cafeteria, unaware of the eyes on her. almost the entire cast of the musical was staring at her. nini sighed, “guys, stop. she’s gonna notice us staring.”

“do you think she knows what happened with you guys.” carlos asked, turning back to face her, leaning in to hear her answer.

“no. i don’t know. i shouldn’t care, it’s just- whatever.” she groaned, pushing her food around with her fork.

“convincing.” seb commented.

“i know he’s my cousin but honestly e.j.’s a bit of a whore.” ashlyn muttered causing the table to laugh.

kourtney leaned into nini’s shoulder, “let’s give y/n the benefit of the doubt and say she has no idea?”

“i mean how could she? she’s not part of the musical, she focused on her band.” ashlyn explained.

“wait, she has a band?” carlos asked.

“she’s starting one, she plays guitar and drums but she wanted a drummer another guitar and singer. i think that’s what she was putting on the board.” ashlyn shrugged, everyone looked at her confused, “what? we used to hang out.”

“wait, really?” nini wondered.

“yeah, she’s actually really nice. and really talented, girl can really shred. you guys would really getting along, you know if you forget about my stupid cousin.”

nini laughed along with the group, her eyes fell back to y/n who was now sitting with e.j. and his friends. maybe they could be friends.

it turns out e.j. is really bad with girlfriends because it only took a few weeks for them to break up, no one could really figure out why though just that y/n left school wednesday crying and didn’t come back until the following monday.

a few days later y/n caught her on her way to rehearsals for the musical, “hey, nini. can i ask you something?”

“yeah, sure.” nini was hesitant but thought on what ashlyn said.

“so you write songs right?” nini nodded and y/n continued, “so i’m writing this song for my band and i was wondering if you could give me some pointers. i know you probably won’t want to because of e.j. actually forget i asked, it was stupid.”

y/n turned to walk away before nini stopped her, “y/n wait. i can help you, come on.”

“where are we going?”

“i have to go to rehearsal and since they’re not doing any gabriella scenes we can work on it in the auditorium.” she motioned for the girl to follow her.

“hi, miss jenn. this is y/n, is it okay if we sit over there while you’re going over the scenes i’m not in?”

“of course. nice to meet you y/n.” miss jenn smiled.

they sat a few rows back, behind miss jenn and y/n pulled out a notebook, “it’s really rough right now. and it’s kind of embarrassing but you can look at it.”

nini was quiet as she read over the lyrics she had written down. “is the about?”

“yes.” y/n said quickly, “sorry if that’s weird.”

“no it’s okay, i actually really like it.”

“i was just really angry when he ended it- and did you know he’s already seeing someone else?”

“really? it hasn’t even been a week!”

“i know! she’s a cheerleader i guess.”

“and here i thought his type was musicans.”

“right? from what i’ve heard they’ve been off and on since his sophomore year and they started hooking up again while he was still seeing me.”

“i guess ashyln was right about her whore statement.”

y/n laughed and they continued to work on the song together. by the end of rehearsal everyone was talking about how two of e.j.’s exes had created a bond, at one point e.j. himself noticed the pair and looked like he was going to be sick. the girls finished the song and were getting ready to leave.

“hey, would you actually like to join my band, i need another singer and your voice is killer. we’re playing a party tomorrow night.”

“i would love to, will this song be on this set?” she asked.

“of course, imagine e.j.’s face when he sees two of his exes singing about him.” y/n laughed.

the two girls left and later that evening nini met the rest of the band (y/n managed to find a drummer and bassist a week ago) and practiced their new song as well as a couple of covers for the party.

the next evening, which was a friday, the band found themselves at the party. y/n couldn’t remember the name of whose house they were at though, a friend of a friend who offered her band to play.

y/n passed around shots of tequila to her bandmates “for the nerves” she had put it before downing hers with a groan. the rest followed suit before they made their way in to the basement, where the main part of the party was and where their instruments were set up. y/n pulled her guitar off the stand and plugged it in, she grabbed the microphone and adjusted it.

“hi, i’m y/n and first song i want to sing is an original written by myself and the amazing nini.” y/n motioned to nini who stood next to her, “this song is for anyone whose ever gone through a breakup where their ex got off better than they did, this is good 4 u, enjoy!”

y/n nodded to the bassist who began playing and nini started in with the first verse with y/n doing back up vocals,

“well good for you, i guess you moved on really easily

you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks

remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world”

y/n leaned into the mic and continued with the next line, 

“and good for you, i guess that you've been working on yourself

i guess that therapist i found for you, she really helped

now you can be a better man for your brand new girl”

the drummers began playing and y/n began strumming her guitar and nini leaned into their shared mic as they both sang the chorus,

“well good for you

you look happy and healthy, not me

if you ever cared to ask

good for you”

y/n and nini smiled at each other as they continued,

“you're doing great out there without me, baby

god, i wish that i could do that

i’ve lost my mind

i’ve spent the night

crying on the floor of my bathroom

but you're so unaffected, i really don't get it

but I guess good for you”

y/n took the next verse and nini did the back up vocals. y/n joined nini to sing,

“baby what the fuck is up with that?

nini continued the next verse on her own with y/n joining in on the chorus again. y/n sang the bridge on her own before they both sang the chorus. they both found e.j. in the crowd as they sang. the girls smiled at one another before locking eyes with the boy to finish out their song,

“well, good for you, i guess you moved on really easily”

the crowd of excited, drunk teenagers cheered as the song ended. “i hope you all liked that!” y/n announced, out of breath. she looked at nini who was smiling just as widely as she was. she pulled the girl into a hug (being mindful if the guitar hanging around her). they bowed and nini grabbed the mic, “we will be taking a short break but we will be back!”

the band shared a group hug before breaking apart to find a drink or friends. carlos, ashlyn, and kortney quickly found nini who was with y/n looking for water. “that was amazing!” carlos squealed, pulling nini in for a hug followed by the two girls.

“y/n, that was incredible!” ashlyn gushed, hugging her as well, “i’ve missed hanging out with you so much!”

“i have too!” y/n exclaimed.

“hate to interrupt but can we please go find some water?” nini shouted over the music someone put on. y/n nodded and threw her arm over nini’s shoulder before they began their search.

[rbowens]

thinking about Her (olivia rodrigo)

[joshyybassett]

Olivia Rodrigo x y/n

(Female reader)

Summary: Y/n just wants to have some alone time with her girlfriend but when they both work on HSMTMTS and Olivia has her busy life, there’s not a lot of time.

SMUT!!! FLUFF!!! HAND KINK!!!

————————————————————

“Hey! How are you, Y/n? I feel like we haven’t done any scenes together in a long while.” Dara was right. In HSMTMTS Kourtney and Ellie (your character) don’t really interact that often, and if they do it’s normally a shorter scene. You really did wish they could have more scenes together, although it’s just not in your control.

As much as I really wanted to talk to Dara I also knew that Olivia was currently not busy for the first time in forever. It’s been a week since I have been able to really talk to my girlfriend about anything, so I needed to be there, with her, now.

“I’m good! I’m sorry I got to go, maybe I’ll throw a little cast get together this weekend and we can talk then! I’m so sorry!” I say in a rather rush while starring down the door.

“No no I get it, Olivia’s not filming right now. Go and get her! Of course I’ll come to a cast thing this weekend! I’m free and I’ll bring snacks!” She was smiling so I knew she couldn’t be too mad.

I said thanks and ran away. Olivia was okay with Josh but obviously they’re on awkward terms at the moment. Josh is my best friend but he dosent know about Olivia and I yet. As much as she tells me it’s okay if tell him and as much as I want to tell him, I know that he needs more time. He can’t handle it right now and I think that’s understandable. Maybe I’ll tell him this weekend if I do throw a thing. Actually, the biggest issue right now is maybe I’m not ready for it. Dara and Olivia are the only ones who know I’m bisexual. I’ve been to scared to tell anyone else which is ridiculous because most of this cast isint straight anyway but still. I’m taking my time. I’m terrified.

“Olivia! Liv!” She turns around as she was trying to open her trailer door and smiles.

“Y/n! Hi love!” I ran into her arms, practically knocking her over. I stand up, grab her arm, and we spin in circles.

“Ellie looks super hot today. What’s with the bikini though?” Liv asks me. Immediately my cheeks become warm. I have no idea how someone like Olivia can find me attractive, but I love her and am glad she does. Ellie had a swimming scene today which was interesting to film. Honestly a bit embarrassing.

“Y/n? You ok?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n/n.”

“The bikini was just a for a dumb swimming scene with Ellie. I know I look terrible I just haven’t had time to change yet.” Olivias eyes went wide after I said that. I’m not sure why though, I was just telling her what had happened.

“Y/n, don’t be so rude to yourself. I was just going to say that you’re hot.” Olivia takes your hand and pulls you into her trailer. After she shuts and locks the door she looks you up and down. Olivia has never been someone to have a hand kink until she met you. HSMTMTS costume department loves to dress me in jewelry. I mean it does match Ellie’s vibe. One time Olivia saw me with a bunch of rings on and she adored it. She talked about all of them for an hour.

Olivia pulled you in for a hot kiss. You could taste the cherry chapstick on her lips from earlier. She bite at your lower lip so you opened for her tongue. She was obviously loving the moment but you were loving it even more. You always find Olivia crazy attractive, so this was only amazing.

She pulled away from the kiss and said,“Remember we can stop whenever you’d like.”

“I want to keep going.” The only I am positive about right now.

She took two of my fingers and placed them in her mouth. She sucked until she was out of breath. I could feel her tongue making out with my fingers. Instantly I felt a pounding down there. All while doing this, she was starring right into my eyes. I never thought I would be alive this year, let alone fucking my hot girlfriend.

You pulled her shirt off her body. She immediately returned the favor as I played with her bra. You run your fingers over her nipples. She let out a soft moan on my fingers. Their girl is going to be the death of me.

She then took my fingers out of her mouth and looked at me like a little puppy.

“You’re so pretty and hot Liv.”

“So are you.”

She slowly licked the bottom of my neck to the top of my neck. Then bite my chin. She then pushed me onto her couch and straddled me.

I was a virgin when we started dating. This is now our fourth time. I know what she likes and she knows what I like. The best part is that we both like almsot everything.

Olivia started grinding against my hips. She started moaning like crazy. She was still in her underwear so she stood up and I pulled them off her. She then got back on top of my stomach and started grinding again. You could feel her wetness dripping through to you.

“Choke me.” Your pretty little devil.

I never knew someone could love hands so much though. So I placed my hand around Livs throat and choked her a little. She let out a loud moan and I moaned back. Her wet pussy was still riding me. I flipped us so she was laying down.

I fingered her with all my strength while still applying pressure to her throat. She eventually reached her climax. Her moans made my soaked.

The thing I love most is her tits. I started sucking on them. She flipped me back over and licked my pussy until I reached my orgasm.

Once we both had calmed down, she went and grabbed a blanket. Her trailer was always cold and neither of us felt like putting our clothes back on yet. We snuggled with the blanket over us.

“Liv.”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m going to tell him.” She sat up at looked at me.

“Josh? Actually?”

“Yea.”

“I’m so proud of you baby.” She then pecked my lips. “He broke my heart but he’s still your best friend and it’s only healthy that you tell him.”

“I know.”

“I love you baby.”

“I love you too.”

—————————————

Today was the day that I tell Josh. I start walking towards his trailer when I come to a pause. This is terrifying. Am I ready? Is this the end of our friendship? Will he b- No. You got this Y/n.

I reach his trailer and knock on his door. I hear him unlock the knob and then I see his face.

“Hey Y/n/n! You haven’t been to my trailer in a while, what’s going on?” He looked genuinely concerned which only hurt more.

“Can we sit down? I have something I really need to get off of my chest.” He nods his head, closes the door, and sits down next to me on his small couch.

“What’s up?”

“Josh I’m dating someone.” I searched his eyes for a response.

“Why were you afraid to tell me that? That’s amazing!” He then looked more confused than before I said anything.

“Josh, I don’t know why I haven’t shared this with you but… I’m bisexual.” I immediately looked away from him, not wanting to see his disappointed look.

“Y/N! THATS AMAZING! You know I’m queer, why would I be sad or mad about that?” He looked worried, like someone might of said something bad about it.

“I do know that I guess you’re just going to be furious as to who I’m dating.”

“Y/n, I know you’re dating Olivia.”

“Wait what? How did you know that. I only told Dara and I didn’t think she was someone to tell secrets like that.”

“She’s not. Y/n/n you’re my best friend. Why else would you be in Livs trailer everyday? Why else would you make that slightly sad look every time the script mentions a Ricky and Nini scene? Know the real question is, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you would be mad.”

“Why would you being happy make me mad?”

“Never leave me becuase of her. Promise?”

“Promise.”

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 9 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 9.6k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, not really fluff but a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: miss jenn is a legend icon queen slay goddess (cited two times), iconic interactions between the cast, jealous ricky being a cutie, ricky and EJ are not bros yet, nini has gone from messy to borderline evil, your mom is a legend, kourtney anxiety foreshadowing, opening night/theatre vibes so strong it made me tear up a little /hj, lynne bowen is a horrible horrible toxic person!!!, todd jumpscare, ricky has a mental breakdown, EJ is trying his best but horribly misreads the situation, ricky is in a crisis, ricky bpd episode, art to cope :'), ricky has a good support system, reader is good in a crisis, nini is REALLY testing your patience, gina gets a well deserved moment to shine, terrible theatre etiquette, ricky gets emotionally ambushed, mike is a good dad, nini gets yelled at by reader (slay), reader yells at lynne (slay), reader gets slapped (in a dramatic way not a violent or sexy way), reader gets called a slut as an insult, ricky defends you, messy necessary screaming match (slay), things are said that cannot be unsaid :/

summary: opening night is just as magical and incredible as ricky hoped it would be, just as wonderful as you made it sound - until the worst case scenario comes to fruition. but the show must go on, right?

song recs: something about this night - finding neverland obc, twenty million people - my favorite year obc, opening up - waitress obc, twinkle in her eye - leann rimes, window seat - amelie obc, this is how I disappear (instrumental) - my chemical romance, un organo suona - ennio morricone, the music and the mirror - a chorus line obc, holding onto you - twenty one pilots, you oughta know - jagged little pill obc

other media: "art is not a luxury, it's sustinance" - ethan hawke ted talk clip, "and the way he sings sends a chill right through me" - lullaby for the taken lyric by kimya dawson, "what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to" - text post/poem by tumblr user vympr,

a/n: fangz to cici for reading!!! I felt like my immortal chapter 6 "paragraph" 4 while writing the last part trying not to under or overuse dialog tags lmao. remember when I said it's gonna get messy? it gets worse :)

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You and Ricky had been planning to get to the El Rey early on opening night since tech week, to make sure you have plenty of extra time to get ready, warm up, and get in character. Plus, you’ve been telling him how much you’ve missed just being in theaters, and near stages. The more time you’re there, the better. When you’re on the way over Ricky couldn’t shake the excitement gripping him. You can’t seem shake the feeling something was going to go wrong.

It was different from nerves, different from anxiety or worries that everyone can get before a big event. It was the same small, nudging feeling you got the night the basement flooded during your run in Matilda. It’s not as bad as it had been that time, but you take in a breath, steadying yourself and knowing you should be ready for anything. When you do, the feeling is quickly overshadowed by your excitement. You haven’t acted in far too long, and you’re ecstatic that you’ll get to perform again soon. 

Once you get to the theater, you and Ricky are the first to sign the sign in sheet. You draw a little smiley face next to his name, and when he glances back at you, eyes falling on the paper. He smiles, struck by sudden joy at the little face. He leans back over and grabs a pen, drawing a smiley next to your name on the line below. Miss Jenn glances down when he returns the pen. 

“Oh!” she exclaims, seeing the little faces, “How cute. I love this energy we’re creating.” she gestures vaguely before shooing you off to your respective dressing rooms to get ready. 

Soon everyone’s there, and you’re once again wrapped up in the familiar hustle and bustle of show nights. You and your castmates are simultaneously getting in costume, warming up, and trying to get ready while helping each other’s hair and makeup. Ashlyn and Nini join you in an impromptu karaoke session, singing your hearts out to Bop to the Top while Nina riffs and harmonizes. The boys, one or two rooms away, start singing Getcha Head in the Game at the same time. In spite of the chaotic cacophony of voices, it's both a good way to warm up, and a good outlet for the nervous energy growing, bouncing from one person to the next, turning electric. 

Kourney enters suddenly, grabbing some bobby pins.

"Do you know if you have any safety pins?" She asks.

"Uh," you pause doing your hair, tying it up into a bouncy low half updo, and fumble through your bag, "how many do you need?" 

"Two or three?" She says hopefully. No matter how many you buy, bobby pins and safety pins always seem to be in short supply at every theater you've been to. You dig around for a minute before finding them, handing them to Kourtney.

"Thank you!" She declares, "Seb's shirt just completely-"

"Has anyone seen my glasses?" Ashlyn asks, and Kourtney pauses, noticing she's not wearing them. 

"Shit," Kourtney mutters, both of you looking around for them.

"Knock knock!" Comes Seb’s voice from behind the door.

"Decent!" You and Ashlyn reply in unison. Seb enters, holding the side of his shirt together with his hands. 

"Any luck?" He asks Kourtney. 

"Right here," she replies, holding up the safety pins. "Turn around." Nina puts in her headphones and starts doing some vocal exercises and scales to warm up a little more. Seb lifts up his jacket so Kourtney can pin the ripped seam back together.

"Oh," she remembers, "have you seen Ashlyn’s glasses?"

"The really big ones?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Nope." He shrugs. She turns to Ashlyn. 

"We'll find them." Kourtney reassures her. Seb heads back to his dressing room he shares with Ricky and EJ, and you move on to the last few steps of your makeup routine. 

"Where are they?" Ashlyn huffs rhetorically. Natalie pokes her head in a moment later. 

"40 minutes till show time!"

"Thank you 40!" The three of you reply together. A little while later, you’re finally dressed and waiting for the glue on your eyelashes to get tacky, when you hear EJ call your name. You stumble out of your dressing room, zipping up your boot, and you’re greeted with EJ in his Chad costume, clearly in a huff. 

“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” he asks, a slightly petulant tone to his voice, handing you a black pencil. You laugh. 

“Yeah, hold on.” you go back into your dressing room, passing by Seb telling Kourtney something. You dig through your makeup bag as Seb reenters, Darbus glasses in hand, presenting them to Ashlyn. 

"Where were they?" She exclaims. 

"The prop table!" He says. 

"Why?" Ash asks, stating your thoughts exactly. 

"Natalie says they're technically a prop because in the detention scene when you…" you find what you're looking for, missing the tail end of his sentence as you leave a moment later with a stiff angled brush in hand. You grab EJ and lead him to the stairs where he can sit down. He does so, and you rub the bristles against the eyeliner, demonstrating for him. 

“This will make the application a lot more precise. Close your eyes…” you instruct, tilting his head back. You smudge the outside of his lash lines, careful not to make it look like too much. 

“Okay, now this is the scary part…” you trail off, gently lifting up his eyelid. “I swear I’m not going to stab you, just look down and don’t blink.” you instruct at the worried look on his face. You tight line the middle of his lash line for a defined, natural effect, then repeat the step on the other side. 

“Okay,” you say, pulling away to check that it looks even, unaware of Ricky standing a few feet away, watching you hold EJ’s face. You look so focused, and a twinge of jealousy flashes through his stomach, wishing you were holding his face, looking focused at him like that. 

“You should be good,” you say, and Ricky approaches, dragging you away as EJ thanks you.

“I just need to borrow her for a second.” he cuts EJ off, smiling tensely at him - one he returns. Ricky takes you a few feet away while EJ goes back into their dressing room. 

“What’s up?” you ask. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“I just… I can’t figure out this whole bronzer thing.” You bite back a smile. You know that  it’s bullshit, specifically because you went through his whole stage makeup routine with him twice last night. He could do his makeup and anyone else’s with one hand tied behind his back, so he obviously just wants your attention. You can’t deny that it’s really cute - and it’s working. He’s probably nervous, you figure. You chuckle, taking the brush from him. 

“Make a fish face,” you instruct, sucking in your cheeks and puckering your lips. His face mirrors yours, and you blend the product into his foundation. Your hand rests on his jaw, angling it this way and that until you’re satisfied with your work. He glances briefly back at the stairs, where EJ has long since left. Ricky’s about to look for any other excuse to keep you here for a few more minutes, your eyes light up, remembering something.

“Oh!” you exclaim, turning around, “Stay right here.” You’re back a moment later after digging through your bag past bobby pins, safety pins, your water bottle, script, sewing kit, extra makeup, makeup wipes, bandaids, and throat lozenges. You grab a small box, holding it triumphantly before running back out to Ricky in the hall. You stand in front of him, that glimmer in your eye. 

“I have a surprise.” Excitement swirls in his chest.

“What is it?” he asks, trying to suppress the anticipatory giggle bubbling up, his energy matching yours. You hand him the small box, and he looks at it, confused. He opens it slowly, pulling out a little charm. It’s a dog tag with the number 14, and a metallic T on a jump ring.

“Oh my god…” he breathes, looking at it closer. You’re beaming, so glad that he likes it. 

“You know,” you say softly, “something to remember your first show by. And your heart ring was looking kind of lonely.” You smile, pointing to the plastic ring he still wears around his neck, waiting until the last possible minute to take it off. You barely get the words out before he grabs your arms, pulling you close and kissing you. His lips are warm as they move against yours, and for a split second, you forget where you are, completely losing context for everything around you. 

“I love-” he murmurs against your mouth, freezing for an instant. Your hearts skip a beat in tandem, then he cuts himself off to kiss you again. “I love it.” he finishes. You smile against his lips, pulling away very reluctantly. He leans back in, pressing a few more kisses to your lips before you wiggle out of his grasp. 

“Ricky!” you laugh, “We’re gonna mess up our makeup. We can kiss after the show.” He runs his fingers up and down your arms, gazing at you as you talk. You have all his attention. 

“Okay,” he says in that light hearted, joking tone of his that always makes you laugh, “but I’m gonna hold you to that.” You laugh again, and he takes off his necklace so you can slip on the new charm. After getting it fixed on the chain, you reattach it to his neck. 

At the end of the hall where you’re standing, Nina lingers, watching Ricky touch you and kiss you like that. It makes her sick, and she finds herself holding back a gag. Her hours of research had turned into days, and she has your playbill.com page open on her phone at this very moment. She’s torn, reminiscing over how much she loved your performances and how obsessed with you she was as a kid, and simultaneously fuming over it. You’ve done all this professional work, you’ve acted on Broadway, and now you’re here at East High? 

She scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. She wanted so badly to be you, to have your perfect life, and you threw it all away for what? To come do crappy high school theatre in a town that couldn’t be further from New York? She fights a laugh suddenly, realizing just how much dirt she has on you. There must be a reason you’ve been keeping this secret, lying to everyone, lying to Ricky. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know why yet, but she’s going to find out. 

35 minutes before curtain, Miss Jenn gathers everyone for circle time, and a cast meeting to boost morale before the show. Everyone is finally in costume and Kourtney follows Seb, makeup pallet in hand, adjusting the finishing touches to the glitter on his cheeks. You can feel the energy stirring and growing, electric between all of you. 

“Most of you know that our dazzling Taylor had to leave under family circumstances. Gina sends her love and support, but has left for the east coast and will not be able to make it to tonight’s performance.” Miss Jenn says. You and Ricky share a look, trying not to be too obvious. You got Gina a plane ticket together, and your mom is at the airport right now to pick her up. The last you heard from her, Gina’s flight was delayed. Now there’s only a slim chance she’ll get here in time. You silently keep your fingers crossed, praying to whatever theatre gods are out there that she’ll make it to the theater before it's too late. 

“And so,” Miss Jenn continues, “I have asked… Kourtney to fill in, in her place!”

The room erupts into cheers. Kourtney smiles, eyes on the floor bashfully. She’s praying she doesn’t seem as nervous as she feels. It’s not that she didn’t expect you guys to be supportive of her subbing in as Taylor, but seeing first hand how excited everyone is for her eases some of the worries that have been building up. 

“Now,” Miss Jenn continues, “everyone join hands.” After some heartfelt words of encouragement and other usual circle time warm ups, she claps her hands.

“Let’s go, wildcats! 20 minutes to curtain!”

Once again, the room erupts into cheers. 

“Now, if I can get my main characters and my ensemble members starting the show with a mic on stage for mic check?” she directs, pointing towards the way to the wings. You walk with everyone else towards the stage, pausing when you pass Miss Jenn. 

“Do you want me to help Kourtney get ready?” you ask. Her hair and makeup are done, she just has to get in costume, but you can sense that she needs a pep talk. 

“That would be fantastic,” she says with a look that indicates she thinks Kourtney could use a pep talk too, “thank you, Sharpay.” She pulls out her walkie to let Big Red know you and Kourtney are going to be released from mic check early to finish getting ready. After singing We’re All In This Together while Big Red adjusts your volume from the sound booth, Kourtney sings Bop to the Top, voice getting louder and quieter as Red tweaks the settings. Once you’ve both gotten the thumbs up, you scurry backstage to your dressing room, handing her costume pieces while she gets changed. 

“Oh, wait,” you say before she pulls on her top. You grab your setting spray you use for shows from your bag. “Close your eyes.” You mist her face with the product, fanning it dry so it doesn’t smudge. 

“Thanks,” she says. You take one look at her expression, and can tell she’s nervous.  

“You okay?” You ask. She hesitates, then sighs.

“I had two weeks to learn all my lines. I had two weeks to learn all the lines and the songs, I haven’t even gotten to rehearse on stage with you guys, and I’m just so worried I’m going to blow it, or choke in front of everyone…” she trails off. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg, and she fiddles with her bracelets, trying to get out some nervous energy. 

“There is no way you’re going to choke.” you say confidently, “You know this show inside and out! Plus, haven’t you been running lines with Nini the whole time?” you ask.

“Yeah,” she replies, listening carefully, trying to grab onto your reassurance.

“Almost all of Taylor’s scenes are with Gabriella.” You state. Her expression changes as she realizes you’re right. She knows this part better than she was giving herself credit for. 

“Plus there will be scripts in the wings if you need to refresh between scenes.” 

“Yeah,” she says again, more confident this time. “I know my lines, I know the songs, I know the dances - mostly, at least - so it’s all going to be fine! Even if the choreography in Stick to the Status Quo is still totally terrifying, and I have no idea how to dance with a lunch tray or do a death wack, it’s going to be fine!” Her laughter turned from relieved to slightly panicked again. 

“You think you’re nervous for Stick to the Status Quo?” you ask rhetorically, a comedic note to your voice, “I have to get caked in the face!” You exclaim with a chuckle. You’ve only practiced with an actual cake once, during the last tech rehearsal, and it was messy, to say the least. Literally and figuratively. 

Kourtney laughs, remembering the whipped cream that got everywhere, how loud you were yelling in character before storming off. It took more makeup wipes than you'd expected to get the sticky sugar off your face. 

“We’ll get through it together.” You state, holding out your hand. She squeezes it, reassuringly.

“Yeah. We will.” 

“Five minutes to places!” Natalie calls, poking her head in. 

“Thank you five!” you both reply. You check your phone one last time, the new text from your mom stating that she’s still at the airport, waiting for Gina’s flight. You text Ricky the same thing, letting him know you’re all still waiting for more updates on the delay. The good news is that your mom’s friend from work - who was planning on coming to see the show anyway - is going to stream the show to your mom until she can get there, that way she won’t miss anything. 

It doesn’t feel like five minutes has gone by when Natalie is calling for places, ushering everybody into the wings and into their starting places and positions. Hushed whispers of encouragement and break a leg spread through the wings, and everyone falls silent as Miss Jenn begins her curtain speech. It’s unusual for a group of such high energy people to be so still, so quiet, and you soak up every moment of it. This is your favorite part - or one of them, at least; it's those few fleeting minutes when everyone’s backstage in the wings, the opening of the show is seconds away and hurdling closer and closer with every breath, every heartbeat. This is one of those magical, transformative, fleeting times that can only really be described as in between. 

You never knew just how much you would miss this, the distinct and irreplaceable energy, the feeling of being in a theater. Tears spring to your eyes as it really hits you that you’re home, back where you’ve always needed to be. You close your eyes, taking deep, measured breaths to focus, to get into that headspace of being in character. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel it around you; the rich wood and cement mixing into different sections of the floor, the heavy curtains, the grid and catwalk and lights, all intangibly high and far away. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful that you don’t know how your body is supposed to contain it. You know now that you could never leave, not really. Theatre will always be your home, and you know this feeling will only solidify more and more with time. You realize, too, that it’s a home that will always grow and change and evolve with you, because that’s in its eternal, fleeting nature. That’s the most beautiful part, you think.

You squeeze Seb’s hand in excitement and encouragement and every other good thing, a gesture that he returns. In spite of the silence and the stillness, you know that everyone is just as excited as you are. Ricky’s in the opposite wing, or else you’d be squeezing his hand right now too right now. You use this moment, this stillness that's growing and getting more charged with energy every second, to become laser focused on giving this performance everything you've got - on really getting your head in the game. 

Nini looks around, then over at Ricky - again. He’s been avoiding her this whole night, and she can’t stand it. She leans closer. 

“I need to talk to you. After the show.” someone shushes her, and she lowers her voice, continuing. “She’s been lying to you about everything. You don’t know everything about her, Ricky.” 

“Yes, I-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to feed into this. Not now. “I have to get into character.” He says, moving away from her. He tries to focus on the energy the cast is creating around him, on becoming Troy. He takes a breath, centering himself. 

“Without further ado, I am proud to present… East High’s High School Musical: the Musical!” Miss Jenn’s voice is drowned out by applause, and the music begins. 

The first few songs and scenes go smoothly; everyone is on time and remembering their cues, and the audience couldn’t be more engaged, applauding and laughing right when you want them to. During Jack Scott’s announcements after Darbus reveals what the winter musical is going to be, you leave to get ready for What I’ve Been Looking For. You pass by Ricky, who’s quick changing for Get’cha Head in the Game, and shoot him a big thumbs up.

“Great job!” you whisper enthusiastically, stomping your feet quietly in excitement.

“Thanks,” he smiles, beaming as he pulls on his jersey. He watches you scurry down the hall before getting nudged toward the stage right before his cue. He shakes his head, wondering why he let Nini get him so worked up before. Of course he knows you. He knows everything about you! There’s absolutely nothing on earth you could tell him that would throw him off, or scare him away from you. She’s probably just making something up to get in his head, to drive a wedge between you. That seems like something she would do lately.

“Let’s see some hustle! Move, move, move!” Coach Bolton calls from onstage, and Ricky jogs over to him, as ready as he'll ever be.

“Sorry I’m late, coach.”

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he’s trying to stay in character and stay focused on the scene, Nini’s words are still echoing in the back of his mind, throwing him off a little. He catches his dad’s eye in the crowd as the music starts. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this proud, and it steadies Ricky. He takes in a breath, and begins to sing. Part way through the song, he notices a woman in the crowd who looks weirdly like his mom. He doesn’t miss a beat, making sure to look in his dad’s direction instead. That’s weird, he thinks, but it can’t be her. There’s no way she’d come all the way from Chicago for something like this. Just like what Nini said to him before the show, he won’t let that distract him from performing, and tries not to let that throw him off.

During the dance break, he gets hooked up to his harness, and his stomach erupts into excited butterflies as he slowly moves up. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd that turns into cheers as he hovers in front of the hoop, ball in hand. Up here, he’s not blinded by the stage lights, and he looks down at the crowd, able to see his dad’s face even better than before. He’s filled with such euphoria, he knows you’re right - nothing can beat this feeling. He feels more alive, more awake than he ever has, simultaneously enveloped by a deep sense of peace, of rightness that he doesn’t want to let go of. 

On the other side of the auditorium, someone moves, catching his eye. Some guy is making his way into his seat, presumably because he showed up late. He leans over to his date, kissing her and touching her leg. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what he saw when he pulled away. Past the blinding stage lights, his stomach plummets back down to earth as he’s able to make out more faces in the audience - including hers. She’s here. She’s really here, and she brought that douchebag with her. She’s whispering something in that bastard’s ear, barely five rows away from his dad. They’re all over each other, talking close and kissing and smiling. 

It’s only when she points up at him that he snaps out of it. He realizes the pit has been waitin for his cue a beat or two longer than usual, and follows up quickly with it. He had dropped his basketball when he was up there, and he’s scrambling to make it through the rest of the number. He tries desperately to get back into character, to focus on the lyrics and choreography, to focus on the music instead of what he just saw in front of him, but he can’t shake what just happened, what he just saw. Even as he’s being pulled backstage to change into the costume for his next scene, it takes all his effort not to let that overwhelm him. He can’t crumble right now, not like this. There’s a whole cast and crew, all his friends, that are counting on him. He gets some water, tries to pull himself together. 

EJ looks for Ricky backstage, having a few minutes before their next scene. Even he has to admit he was impressed with Ricky’s performance back there. He looked so conflicted, so torn between basketball and singing. He even managed to make his distracted blocking and choreography look so organic EJ was worried he’d messed up for a second. He’s been giving him a hard time, butting heads on and off stage, but Ricky is really shining tonight. He’s committed, and EJ has to commend him for that. 

“Ricky,” he says, just loudly enough to get his attention. Ricky turns around. “I have to hand it to you; you’re doing great out there, man. You deserve all the applause you’re getting.” 

Ricky takes a breath, closing his water bottle.

“Thanks.” 

He stares into space to the ceiling on EJ’s right, gripping his water bottle until his knuckles have a white cast to them. EJ’s brow furrows. He actually seems a little out of it. 

“Are you okay?” he asks carefully. They’re not really close like that, but even EJ can see that he seems a little off. 

“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “I am totally fine. Because it’s opening night, and nothing’s going to ruin this.” 

Suddenly it makes sense. He knows exactly what Ricky’s going through. He sighs. 

“Look, everybody gets stage fright. Just take a deep breath, and use the music and your lines to stay grounded.” He claps Ricky on the shoulder supportively.

“Thanks,” he chokes out again. EJ leaves to fix his mic tape, and Ricky is once again exactly where he doesn’t want to be - alone with his thoughts. Even though EJ has no idea of the scope of issues Ricky’s dealing with right now, his advice might still work. Instead of waiting in his dressing room, he hovers in the wings, going over the chemistry class scene as it happens, waiting for the lights to go down so he can talk to you, or at least be near you. He’s so tempted to barge onstage and drag you away with him. Instead he listens closely to your dialog with Gabriella. Just hearing your voice is enough for him to hold on to for now.

The lights go down, and you exit into the wings. You’re surprised to find Ricky there - he usually comes up about half way through Jack Scott’s narration. One look at his face and you know something’s wrong. Before you can ask, he’s pulling you into a less busy area by the prop table. 

“She’s here.” He grips your arm, hand shaking. He doesn’t need to say anything else, you already have a full grasp on the gravity of the situation, the effect this is having on him. 

“Here?” you ask, needing to clarify, and he nods. “Are you okay?” you ask sincerely.

“I’m…” he struggles for an answer, “trying to be.” You take his hands in yours so gently he doesn’t even notice until your thumbs are stroking his skin reassuringly.

“Okay,” you say calmly, and he can see the gears turning, see you figuring out the perfect solution as you speak. “Why don’t you have some water, stay right here, and I’ll go get Miss Jenn, okay?” 

He nods, and you move quickly to Natalie, asking her if she knows where Miss Jenn is. She picks up her walkie talkie, asking Miss Jenn to come to the stage right wing. Jack’s narration scene wraps up and the crew changes the set to Darbus’s detention. You have seconds before you have to get out there, and you turn to Ricky, worried about him. 

“Are you going to be okay?” you ask in a hushed whisper. 

“Yeah.” he says, “I think so.” 

You see Miss Jenn walking toward the stage right wing as you’re about to head onstage.

“We’ll talk to her right after.” you tell him in a hushed, reassuring whisper. You give his hand one more squeeze before you find your places in the dark. Moments later, the lights are up, and the scene begins. In all the time you’ve spent acting, you’ve gotten very good at staying in character, compartmentalizing thoughts and worries about your personal life while you’re onstage. You find it a little more difficult to keep the disgust at Lynne Bowen’s blatant lack of basic respect, or even awareness for the consequences of her actions, buried in the back of your mind as the scene plays out. 

Sitting on the wooden flooring of the stage, warm under the bright lights, Ricky does exactly what he’s supposed to do - he uses the scene and dialog to stay grounded. He follows the dialog while doing his stage business, listening for his cues just like Miss Jenn thought him to do. If he stays in character, he doesn’t have to think about any offstage drama. As long as he doesn’t look out to that section of seats, as long as he can keep his eyes from being magnetically drawn there, he’s going to be fine. He stays in character, stays right there as Troy, clinging to his character like a life raft. If he can be Troy, he doesn’t have to worry about everything he’s going to have to deal with as Ricky for just a few more minutes. It's desperate and fleeting, but it's the only thing he can do right now. 

Soon, the lights are down, and you’re hustling toward the stage right wing, where you know Miss Jenn is waiting. He finds your hand in the dark, the sparkly pink sequins on your outfit unmistakable even in the darkness. He holds onto you desperately, until you’re both standing in front of Miss Jenn. She knows from one look that whatever is going on, it’s bad. 

“Um," Ricky starts, swallowing hard, "my mom is here…” he hates that his voice is already trembling so soon. It sounds more like a question than a statement, and his stomach twists at how foreign the word now feels in his mouth. My mom. The last time he called her that had been months ago when he told you and Miss Jenn what had happened. Ever since he’s only referred to her through pronouns and as briefly as possible, trying to disconnect the person she is from who she was supposed to be. Who he thought she was. The closest he’s gotten to addressing her has been vague statements; she didn’t call back, or I think that was her recipe, let’s find a different one. Actually saying it, actually calling her that makes his jaw feel stiff. 

“My god.” Miss Jenn says softly, unable to believe that she could have the audacity to show up unannounced after what she put Ricky through. Ricky hesitates, and she knows there’s more. She nods, waiting for him to continue. 

“And she, uh,” he swallows thickly, hating his throat for tightening up so much when he has to sing in a few minutes, “she brought her boyfriend…” Your eyes widen and Miss Jenn gasps. 

“They’re in the sixth row, they keep talking and kissing, and-” he cuts himself off, unable to continue. His hands are balled up, tight and shaking. 

“Okay. Ricky, sweetie, why don’t we talk about this somewhere a little more private.” You both guide him to the boys’ dressing room, and after making sure no one’s in there, she sits down facing him, and takes his hands in hers. 

“From the beginning, what happened?” 

He was barely able to get it out the first time, but now he can’t stop. Everything he’s been trying so hard to ignore and shove down for the last 20 minutes - and it’s felt way longer than 20 minutes - comes tumbling out. He doesn't think he could stop talking if he tried. He doesn’t even realize how loud he’s getting until Miss Jenn gently shushes him. 

“We don’t want the audience to hear us.” he nods, taking a breath for the first time since he started talking. You left a minute ago to check on how much time you have before the next scene, and reenter the dressing room now, looking stressed. 

“They’re almost done with Auditions.” you state. You need to go up there now, you and Seb have What I’ve Been Looking For soon, and you don’t want to miss your cue. 

“Go,” she says. Ricky nods, so you do, knowing that Miss Jenn has this under control, that she can help Ricky right now. Your footsteps recede, and Ricky turns back to Miss Jenn. 

“Ricky,” she starts calmly, “what she did was wildly inappropriate.” He already feels a little better, less crazy, and he waits for her to continue. 

“Showing up unannounced with a…" she chooses her words carefully, "date, was… probably the worst thing that could have happened tonight.” 

“Yeah,” he scoffs in agreement. She continues.

“You have every right to be as upset as you are. Whatever you need right now, just tell me, okay?” He nods. “I think what we should do is get your dad, and let him know what’s going on. I can try to have one of the ushers escort her out, but I’m sure the last thing you want tonight is even more drama.” 

“Got that right,” he breathes, relieved. 

“I’m going to talk to EJ and see if he can go on as Troy-” 

“What? No.” he protests. 

“Ricky-” 

“No, Miss Jenn- I have to play Troy. Please, I have to!” 

“It might be best for you-” 

He stands up suddenly. “What’s best for me is going out there; acting and singing, like we rehearsed -  like I’m supposed to! Please, you can’t…” 

“Okay,” she says, standing up and trying to calm him down a little. “Okay. If you think you can do it, you can go back out there.” 

He relaxes a little. 

“Thank you.” his voice breaks as he speaks, and she realizes how badly he needs this right now.

“Why don’t we revisit this at intermission, see how you’re feeling then? Just to check up on you.” she adds quickly. 

“Okay.” he agrees. She puts a hand on his arm. 

“I’m going to let EJ know to get ready, just in case you change your mind. We’ve got to be ready for anything, right?” She smiles gently, one he tries to return. 

“Right,” he says. A stagehand pokes his head into the room.

“Troy, we need you.”

“Be right there,” Miss Jenn says. She claps her hand over Ricky’s one more time. “Okay, Ricky, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go out there and sing a ballad with Gabriella that will make the audience swoon,” he smiles, “and I am going to do my best to get this situation resolved as quickly and discreetly as possible. If anything else happens, or you need anything, come tell me right away.”

“Okay.” he says, this time, with a note of determination in his voice. Miss Jenn pats him on the back, sending him off. He runs through the halls, making it just in time. Once he’s in the wings, she pulls out her phone to text Mike, and fill him in on everything that’s going on. He enters on Gabriella’s cue, and Miss Jenn pauses, watching him deliver his lines. All the distress, all the pain melts away as he steps into character.

It’s giving him a break from everything, she thinks, it has been the whole time. Theatre isn’t just a luxury or a passion for some people, it’s a means of survival. It hits her all at once, that in staying here, in facing the challenges and struggles that came from directing this show, she’s helping Ricky through one of the hardest things he’ll ever go through. She’s become the person she needed when she was his age; with only one parent, feeling completely lost at sea. Her chest squeezes, and she watches them sing, their voices sending a chill through her. 

Backstage, in the few dark moments of the set change for Cellular Fusion, Nina somehow manages to corner you. 

“What did you do to him?” she demands, and you know she’s referring to Ricky, who exited to the other wing. You stare at her, aghast. You lean in close, lowering your voice, desperately holding on to your professionalism. 

“We have to go onstage, literally right now. I am not doing this with you right now.” 

“Huh,” she scoffs with a fake smile, “you’re one to talk.” You have approximately two seconds to look at her, baffled by everything she’s saying, before you have to go on. You enter, and hit your mark. At the cue, you and Seb begin to harmonize. Right as you do, your phone - tucked away in the wings - silently begins to buzz. Your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you that Gina’s flight has finally landed, and they’ll be at the theater any minute. 

You run off stage as Cellular Fusion wraps up, and Miss Jenn and Carlos are trying to figure out what to do about the Taylor dance break coming up. Kourtney has been doing great so far, but she doesn’t think she can handle choreography that complicated with so little time to rehearse.

“I could tell the pit to cut that section…” Carlos offers. You check your phone and your eyes light up, looking at the doorway. 

“Uh,” you start with a smile, “I don’t think that will be an issue…”

Miss Jenn, Carlos, and Kourtney look over at Gina, smiling timidly. 

“Oh, thank god,” Miss Jenn chokes out. She turns to Kourtney, then Gina. “You, go out there before you miss your cue. And you, quick change into something more 2006 before the dance break.”

They both agree, and a stagehand runs over with something for Gina to change into, guiding her to the dressing rooms. 

“Is he doing any better?” you ask Miss Jenn before you go on. You don’t have much time, but you need to know if he’s okay.

“A little,” she says, “I think.” You both know it’s better than nothing, and you’re just hoping whatever he’s doing keeps working. 

Stick to the Status Quo couldn’t be going any better. There’s so much happening, so much organized chaos, that he forgets about everything for a few wonderful minutes. There’s no time to think about that when he’s dancing on tables, begging his classmates not to sacrifice their individuality so they can fit in. It only gets better when you and Seb enter toward the end of the number. You look so genuinely pissed off that people are breaking free from the boxes they’ve been put in, and your voices sound perfect harmonizing together, reverberating through the auditorium.

He tries in vain to stop Zeke from giving you a cake, watching with bated breath as it smashes into your face. He turns away, just like he’s supposed to, but his eyes accidentally land on the one place in the audience he shouldn't be looking at.  His stomach plummets. Has she been on her phone this whole time? After running from everything this whole night, it finally gets the best of him. He can’t stand it any longer, running into the wings as you let out an ear shattering scream, loud enough to finally make her look up.

“Someone… is going… to pay for this!” you yell furiously, before the lights go down. The curtain draws to a close as applause thunders through the building. The lights in the house go up for intermission, and you hear a slow rise of chatter as people mill about and make conversation as you exit the stage. You grab a makeup wipe a stagehand has ready, thanking them as Natalie calls out that intermission is starting, and you have 20 minutes to places for act two.

“Thank you 20,” you call out distractedly, searching for Ricky. You run to the back, wiping the rest of the whipped cream off your face, and check the boys dressing room to see if he’s in there. He is, sitting in there by himself, seeming worse than before. One look at his face and you know something else happened.

“She was on her fucking phone the whole time!” he states in disbelief, “Like…” The words dry up as he holds a pillow in his lap in a death grip. 

“Oh my god…” you say, shaking your head. He’s not doing good, clearly. No one would be in his position. He pulls you in for a hug as soon as you’re close enough, one you reciprocate. He holds onto you tight, feeling just a little more stable as soon as you’re in his arms. Surrounded by your familiar grasp, it’s just a little easier to breathe, to think clearly. Unfortunately, it also means he has a much clearer grasp on everything that’s happened tonight and how it’s affecting him, how he feels about it. His dad is right behind you, and he lets go of you long enough to stand up and greet him. His dad pulls him into a hug, patting his back. 

“I’m so sorry, kid. I had no idea she was going to pull something like this.” Mike’s voice wavers, and when Ricky doesn’t answer, you know it’s because he’s choked up. Miss Jenn enters a moment later, walking over to Ricky and Mike. 

“The both of them have been removed from the premises.” She states. 

“Thank you,” Mike says earnestly. 

“Oh, it was nothing a little faked parking violation couldn't take care of,"  she says, earning a small smile from Mike. She turns to Ricky, continuing. “I filled you dad in on what’s been going on, too.” 

“Maybe we should just go home,” Mike offers, knowing he probably won’t want to. 

“No,” he protests, “I can do act two, I want to. Plus, if we leave now, she’ll know where we are and she’s going to ambush us again, and-” 

“The one place you’re guaranteed not to run into her is here at the theater.” you finish quietly. 

“Yeah,” Ricky agrees, motioning to you. Mike considers, weighing his options. Since she’s gone, if Ricky thinks he can handle it, he doesn’t see why he can’t do the second half of the show - especially since he seems to want to so badly. Maybe now isn’t the time to take that away from him, even if he means well.

“Okay,” he sighs. “But if anything happens, if you change your mind at all-”

“You’re the first to know.” Ricky agrees quickly. 

“I want you to stay plugged in with me, okay?” Mike says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Text me when you’re not onstage, let me know how you’re doing.” Ricky agrees again. Miss Jenn looks between them. 

“Alright. Well, in that case, Ricky, you should get changed for act two.” She says with a tentative smile. He nods. 

“Thank you. Thank you guys.” he says sincerely to his dad and Miss Jenn. Before you leave, you catch his eye.

“I’m going to refill my water, then I’ll be back here, okay?” 

“Sounds good." He says, "Hurry back,” he adds quickly, giving you that sweet look with those big puppy dog eyes, and it makes your chest squeeze. 

“Absolutely.” you agree. 

You barely leave the dressing room before you're met with Nina. She barges forward and stands in front of you, arms crossed, and you realize she's waiting for you to move out of the way so she can get into the boys' dressing room. You don't budge. 

“I need to talk to Ricky. I heard what happened, and I'm the only one who can convince him to go on for the second act, and I don’t need you-” 

“Wow,” you begin, cutting her off, once again amazed at her audacity, “now is really not a good time. Don’t go in there and stir things up.”  

She looks you up and down, letting out an indignant scoff. 

“Don’t act like you know him like that. I’ve known him since we were in kindergarten, I know him better than anyone.” 

You take in a deep breath, trying so hard to stay patient. 

“Sure. You know him better than anyone.” you say, in a pacifying tone, “So you should know the last thing he needs is more pressure on him when he’s in the middle of a family crisis, right?” The question is rhetorical, and you continue, patience with her finally starting to run thin. “If you actually care about him, then for the sake of his well being you’ll leave him alone and let him get through this. Now is really not the time, Nina, read the goddamn room!” 

The sentence is finished with an aggravated, humorless laugh. Your priorities right now are Ricky, and getting through opening night. You need to help him process some of the shit that's been happening tonight, make sure he’s okay, so he can perform like he wants to. The last thing he needs is Nina barging in there and telling him he’s letting the cast down, or that he’s not serious about theatre, and that he should have quit after auditions - all of which you’ve heard more times than you can count over the duration of rehearsals, even up to a few days ago. 

You’ve tried so hard to be patient with her, but dear god, she’s really starting to get on your last nerve - nevermind the fact that you have a special type of hatred for the kind of people like Nina, who shit on people that are still learning about something they have more experience in; like telling someone they’re not serious about theatre because it’s their first show, for example.

“Do not fuck with him right now.” you state, rolling your eyes at her shocked expression.

You push past her, walking over to the water fountain. She watches you walk away, mouth hanging open, and lets out an indignant scoff. You swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong tonight, if one more person tries you, you’re going to absolutely lose it. You take a few deep breaths as you fill up your bottle, trying to calm down and center yourself a little. Once you’re done, you start to walk back to the dressing rooms, but you’re stopped by a woman who is definitely not cast or crew. She sees you and approaches, seeming a little pissy. 

“I’m looking for Ricky Bowen?” she states. As she speaks, your stomach drops. 

You recognize her voice from when you heard it on the phone, and from the voicemail Ricky showed you over Thanksgiving. This is Lynne Bowen. As in, the Lynne Bowen. The one that left.  The same woman who’s made such a tactless and selfish decisions over and over that have ultimately caused her son to be on the verge of a breakdown just down the hall from where you’re standing right now. 

“You are not supposed to be back here.” you state, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this. You pull out your phone and text Miss Jenn, ‘code red, really need backup’.

“Can you just tell me where Ricky Bowen is? I’m his mother.” she says it in a way immediately expects sympathy from you, sympathy she doesn’t receive. You stare at her blankly, and she continues, much less kind than she’d been pretending to be. “I need to see my son, okay? Maybe when you’re a mother someday you’ll understand-”

You’re not sure what about her, about the way she’s talking to you specifically is the last straw for you, but your patience is already running so thin it’s practically transparent. Against your better judgment, you cut her off. 

“He does not want to see you. He doesn’t want to speak to you - or be anywhere near you right now, for the record - and you need to fucking respect that, okay?” you say decisively, offense written all over her face, “And you are really not allowed to be backstage if you’re not cast or crew, which you’re clearly not-” 

“You are way out of line, young lady!” she yells, “I don’t care if he doesn’t want to talk. I’ll talk to him if I want to; I’m his mother.”  She adjusts her purse, clearly expecting you to fold, to tell her where he is. You know you should keep your mouth shut, you know you should be diplomatic and patient and professional like you always are, you should wait for Miss Jenn to handle this, but you’ve spent the past three months watching Ricky suffer because of this woman and her choices. You can’t stay quiet when the woman who hurt him is right in front of you. 

“I think you lost the right to pull that shit when you walked out the door and chose not to be in his life!” you snap, a dangerous smile on your face. The stunned look on her face is better than anything you’ve ever seen. It’s clear no one has ever tried to take her down a peg until now. 

“How dare-” 

“You gave him a free pass to hate you forever, because you’re not the parent who stayed! You didn’t try-” 

Your words lose momentum as you find yourself suddenly looking at the wall to your right, your cheek stinging. The sound of her slapping you across the face echos across the walls for a moment before fading away, and you freeze, tears prickling the corners of your eyes from shock.

“Listen here you little slut,” she says, much more ferocious than before. All facades of a concerned mother have melted away. “You have no right to talk to me like that-” 

“What the fuck?!” 

You snap out of it, and she turns around at Ricky’s voice at the end of the hall.

“Ricky, my baby,” she starts, walking toward him, but she’s thrown off at how distant he seems toward her. “I’m sorry you had to see that, this girl is so-” 

“Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” His voice is stone cold as he brushes past her, analyzing your expression closely to see if you’re alright. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice shaky.

“I’m fine,” you say as calmly as possible, “are you okay?” 

He’s decidedly not, but he tries to pull himself together. 

“If you are, that’s all that matters.” Behind him, growing impatient, Lynne takes a step forward.

“Ricky,” she demands. He takes a breath, and leans closer to you. 

“You should change for act two.” You look between them, wishing there was something else you could do, some way that you could make this better. You agree, stopping before you leave for your dressing room. 

“Text me if you need anything.” you say seriously, and he agrees, understanding the subtext of your words. Text you if he needs backup, or if it gets to be too much, because you’re there for him. Lynne moves toward him again. 

“Can we talk?” she says with a domineering tone to her voice, and you both know it’s not a question. You want to object, but all he wants is to get her away from you. He nods, indicating you should go, and you do - albeit, very reluctantly. He turns back to her. 

“Yeah,” he says seriously, “I think we need to.” 

She grabs his arm to lead him down another stretch of hallway, but he shakes her off immediately, walking a few feet in front of her. 

“Ricky, are you alright?” she demands, once they’re relatively out of earshot. She crosses her arms. “I was so worried about you when you ran offstage like that.” 

“I’m surprised you noticed.” he murmurs. She either ignores him or doesn’t hear. Regardless, she continues. 

“Why did you leave? Is it stage fright? Because a lot of people are counting on you, honey. You made a commitment to this-” 

“You’re one to talk about commitment,” he mutters, voice low, but loud enough to be heard. His impulse control is not at all where it should be, especially with how she just talked to you, what she called you.

“I’m sorry?” Lynne demands. She’s not used to Ricky yelling at her. She’s always had a lot of influence over him. He used to do everything she said, he’s always been such a mama’s boy until now. 

“I mean, do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?” he snaps, “Did you even care that you ruined the only thing I’ve been able to count on in my life- I can never get this night back, Lynne. And now…” he trails off, trying so hard to regulate his emotions, even though he knows he’s out of control. He takes a shaky breath, trying with everything he has inside him to reign it back in a little. 

“...Why would you bring him to the show?” 

Lynne looks stunned at his question. 

“Wh-” she starts, “This is about Todd?”

“Why would you bring him here?” He demands, repeating himself.

“I…” she struggles for an answer, “wanted him to meet you.” she infuses as much guilt into her words as she can. He should feel bad for the way he’s speaking to her. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to throw you off.” 

It doesn’t work this time, and he refuses to back down, to fawn for her. He doesn’t buy it for a second.

“So you waited until I was suspended, mid air over a basketball hoop, for me to see you all… cozied up together? You didn’t think - not for one second - that might be just a little upsetting to me?!” 

“Ricky-”

“And what about dad, huh? How do you think he feels watching you feel each other up right in front of him?” tears brim in the corners of his eyes as everything he’s been suppressing all night, all these weeks and months finally breaks the surface. She lets out an indignant scoff and tries to say something, but he ignores her and keeps going. It’s an avalanche now, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. 

“He didn’t leave the couch for a week after you left!” he roars, remembering how hard it was to see his dad like that, to have to be the one to drag him out of it. 

“...I didn’t know that-”

“How could you?!” he laughs bitterly, "You weren't there!" He screams. He doesn't think it's ever felt better to say something than it does now. "You weren't there the whole time I was rehearsing, you weren't the one running lines and going over blocking, and teaching me how to listen for cues and do stage makeup and quick change! You weren't there for any of the work that went into this, and you just waltz in here with the newest guy you're screwing to your fucking son's musical like you've been here the whole time, but you havent!" He's never yelled at her like this, but a part of him thinks after how much she hurt him - and his dad - it's long overdue. "You don't get to enjoy this show, and you don't get to be around me, or dad, or anything we do because you walked out!"

"You are way out of line-" she starts, voice cracking. 

"No, you know what’s way out of line?" He demands, all too ready to throw her words back in her face. "Breaking my heart, breaking dad’s heart, then acting like everything is fine when it’s not!"

"You think I wanted to leave you?!" She screams back at him. 

"Yeah," he answers quickly, "I do, because you did! And you know what? I'm glad you left." He spits, watching the pain grow in her eyes, his words like venom. 

"All you do is hurt us." 

She blinks like she was just slapped. He takes a step forward, shaking, angry tears silently spilling from his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is low and dead serious. 

"Don't call me anymore."

Before she can say anything, he starts to walk away. She calls out to him, desperate to get the last word in, to make him know how much pain his words have caused her. 

"You are really hurting me, Ricky." She says, voice shaking as she cries, "you're breaking your mother's heart."

The sound of his mother crying like that because of something he said should have wrecked him, but he pushes away any last remaining scraps of guilt his rage hasn't burned away yet. He turns back to her, no love in his eyes, and laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. You know, the one thing I got from you is the ability to ruin any relationship I have, so thanks for that, mom." He spits, turning to leave. She takes a step forward. 

"Don’t you walk away from me-"

"Like mother like son, huh?" He barks. With that, he's gone. He doesn't stick around for any more of her manipulation or guilt tactics. He just really, really needs to see you right now.

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 7 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 4.5k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: post school theater burning down, ricky is spiraling, one "look at me" but it's necessary and works, more of reader comforting ricky, ricky has a lil dissociation moment, op being gratuitously horny for the inherant beauty of theaters and rehearsal spaces, descriptions of a panic attack/some ptsd/mild trauma, square breathing to come down from said panic attack, brief trauma sharing, reader's dad was abiguosuly "scary when mad, reader's dad didn't show up to important events, ricky comforts reader, disgusting cursed backstage couches, fingering, protected vaginal sex, yet another mid fuck near love confession bc duh it's ricky, almost getting caught, I think that's it

summary: After a tragic incident renders the school theater unusable, you find a beautiful theater to perform the show. You're getting really excited about it, and Ricky is too. When tech rehearsals begin with a more than rough start, Ricky gets the opportunity to comfort you, to be there for you like you've been there for him.

song recs: 27 - fall out boy, I can't handle change - roar, at the ballet - a chorus line, bop to the top (kourtney's version) - dara renee

a/n: been reading my immortal again and in chapter 34 there's a line where Enoby tries to describe a dress that professor sinister was wearing as "kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic" followed by the http/ of a link and nothing else then she just continues on and I almost wept about that in public and I love it so dearly so fangz 2 Cici for proof reading, u rok, mcr rox. fuk off prepz.

tags @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @hopefullhearts @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

It’s a bad dream. It’s another bad dream that Ricky can’t wake up from. Soggy ash carpets the formerly scuffed floors, as serious looking adults clad in reflective yellow and khaki drag hoses around and talk to Miss Jenn. Everything is ruined. It’s all destroyed. This is worse than anything, any flooded basement or mildewy props, this is the worst thing that could happen. There’s not one thing in this goddamn theater that hasn’t been tainted by destruction, there’s nothing left to salvage. He feels sick. He pulls out of this horrible spiral of thoughts when he feels your hand tug his arm gently, guiding him into the hall. You can tell by the look on his face how bad this is before he even starts.

“We’re gonna figure it out.” you start. He runs a hand through his hair, eyes still stuck on the ruins just through the doorway. 

“H-how can-” 

“Ricky, look at me.” you place your hand on his jaw, getting his attention back on you. His teary brown eyes are locked on yours, desperate for something to grab onto. You take a steadying breath, and he follows with a shaky one. “We are going to figure this out.” 

Your touch, your gaze, the unwavering confidence in your voice grounds him. He takes another breath, this one slightly deeper. 

“If a flooded basement didn’t stop Matilda, some scorch marks sure as hell can’t stop the Wildcats.” 

He nods absentmindedly at your words.

“Okay?” You ask. He nods again. 

“Yeah,” he breathes. He grabs tight onto your hand and you both head back into the smoky theater with everyone else, where Miss Jenn quickly gets everyone’s attention. 

“Hug your neighbor, take a moment,” she directs, still holding the deflated, scorched basketball in her hands, “let’s reconvene in the cafeteria after school to talk about options.” She addresses Nini and Ricky, then, when her eyes linger on the way Ricky is holding onto your hand with both of his, you as well. 

“Spread the word.” 

“Got it.” Nina says quietly.

“Of course,” you acknowledge with a small nod. 

He’s trying to breathe, trying to think, trying to do something, but he can’t. He’s trying to listen to Miss Jenn, but he can feel himself spacing out. His eyes are fixated on a soggy, burnt piece of neon tape that had peeled off of the floor, and his chest rises and falls automatically in shallow breaths. It’s not supposed to be there. It’s supposed to be downstage left, it’s supposed to be where he stands for Get’cha Head in the Game. That’s why it’s orange, because that’s where Miss Jenn said he’ll fly up in a harness and dunk a basketball in slow motion. She made it sound so easy, but they haven’t even done the choreography for that number yet. How the hell is he supposed to know where to stand if his strike tape isn’t in the right place. Strike tape? Or is it spike tape. Maybe-

“Ricky?” Miss Jenn calls, and he snaps out of it. 

“Uh,” he sputters, “yeah.” He hopes he didn’t miss too much in the few seconds he had totally spaced out. You don’t let go of his hand until you get to your next class. 

“We just have to get through today, okay?” He nods, agreeing carefully. You just have to get through today. Then everyone will be together in the cafeteria and Miss Jenn will know what to do. That will fix everything, and it will all be okay again. 

As soon as Miss Jenn proposes looking at other venues to host the show, you’re already pulling out your phone. You’d been thinking the same thing, and spent every free moment between classes not texting your castmates or helping console them googling neary (or nearby-ish) theaters and potential venues. You’re no stranger to this; when you were in Fun Home, the whole production had to change theaters twice. You were a kid and it was years ago, so you don’t remember what the reasons were exactly, but you all adapted and the run got extended by two months, so it all worked out. 

You skip past the ones you ruled out earlier, the first option on your list is the El Rey. It’s pretty close, and business has been slow, so it shouldn’t be too expensive to rent. 

“What about the El Rey?” Seb asks.

“I think that could work,” you say, “it’s not too far from here, and it doesn’t look like they have any shows or events going on right now.” You tilt your phone so Ricky and your other friends sitting nearby can look at pictures while Seb does the same. “It shouldn’t be too hard to rent out.” 

“Well-” Miss Jenn starts, seeming a little hesitant.

“My uncle Reuben’s the listing agent,” Carlos says, pulling out his phone to call him. One short excited conversation in Spanish later, you get the green light for the El Rey. 

Once Ricky’s beetle is stuffed as full as you can get it with salvaged costumes, props, and anything else you could fit, you start the drive over to your new theater. You have their website pulled up on your phone, and you start reading him some of the past events, shows, and concerts they’ve hosted. He’s not sure why he’s so excited if he hasn’t even been there yet, but you’re making it sound… magical. 

“Oh my god,” you turn to him, shocked. “This is the same theater where the touring cast of Into the Woods performed in 1989.” 

“Really?” he smiles at how excited you are. 

“Yeah! Oh my god…” you chuckle in disbelief, then look at him again. “This is going to be really, really great.” 

He smiles. He thinks you’re right. If anyone would know what makes a great theater, it would be you. A few minutes later, he pulls into the parking lot, recognizing the other few cars there, and seeing Nini and Kourtney help Miss Jenn unload the props and costumes from her car. You get out of the car, and Ricky watches you jog over to Miss Jenn, asking where she wants you to put stuff, while Carlos talks to his uncle, who’s unlocking the door. You head back over, grabbing a few boxes and walking toward the door. 

“She said to put them backstage and we’ll organize it all once we know what we’re working with.”

A few of your friends are right behind you, arms filled with boxes. Carlos opens the back door, and Miss Jenn passes around some flashlights before guiding you all into the building. You pass through the backstage area, past the dressing rooms, and into the wings, finally stepping onto the stage. Even in the dark, with miscellaneous old props and storage boxes, it’s breathtaking. The dust floats down gently in your flashlight beams, reminding you of the first snow of the season. 

Next to you, his flashlight beam sweeping over the dusty couches and empty chairs sitting on the tables, Ricky’s breath is gone from his lungs. A huge wave of emotion overcomes him, and he sees it. The inherent beauty in all theaters you had been telling him about. Next to him, Miss Jenn rests her hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. 

“Welcome home.” 

He feels it, he feels that he’s finally home. A little while later, everything has been brought in and stacked somewhat neatly. As they’ve been bringing in boxes, moving props, and sweeping up, there’s a tangible sense of togetherness growing between the cast and crew, one Ricky notices.  Miss Jenn now has her cast on stage while her crew tries to make sense of the lights, soundboards, and other backstage areas. 

The lights are finally up, you’ve cleared off the stage for the most part, and Miss Jenn gets ready for her welcome to tech rehearsal speech. No one has been able to get a hold of Gina, and Natalie is still recovering from getting her wisdom teeth out. She’d sent a selfie of her with her cheeks all swollen, accompanied by the caption, I lived bitches. Her sister texted on her phone a few minutes later letting the cast group chat know she’s totally knocked out, and will be asleep for a while, so you all sent her nice messages for when she wakes up. 

Miss Jenn gets everyone’s attention to introduce tech rehearsals, expectations for the cast and crew, and some words of inspiration, and the excitement is palpable. Before she can, a large sandbag falls suddenly, crashing less than a foot away from you. You scream, hands flying to your ears as you jump back, and Ricky pulls you close to him reflexively, one arm over your head, the other around your waist. 

Every muscle in your body is tense, and he can feel you shaking in his grasp while the shocked frightened noises from your castmates die down. He suddenly hates this theater. He looks up at the catwalk with a venomous glare, a warning not to scare you like that again. 

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly. You don’t answer. You’re staring into space, hand clutched over your mouth and shaking like a leaf, breaths fast and shallow. Miss Jenn takes one look at you, eyes widening in realization.

“Okay, Ricky, why don’t you two go backstage and run some lines while we… sort this out.” she gestures vaguely above you. He agrees, guiding you into the wings, while Miss Jenn gets everyone’s attention back on her. 

Ricky ushers you through the wings, past the dressing room, and into a secluded storage room. In the back behind the piano and table stacked with boxes, sits a couch, that like everything else in the building, is covered in a thin layer of dust. You sit down next to him, shaking and trying not to cry. A binder slips out of one of the boxes and falls to the ground, loose paper fluttering down, and you jump like a terrified alley cat. You cling onto him, and he rubs your back, hoping that will help. You haven’t said a word yet, and he’s starting to get worried. 

“Are you okay?” he asks again. You’re clearly not, and he’s struggling for words, for something that will help you feel better. He doesn’t notice you pulling out your phone and typing until his dings with a text from you, the familiar text tone he set just for you resonating in the quiet room. He checks the text you sent him. It’s a diagram for breathing exercises for panic attacks. That’s what’s going on, he realizes, you’re having a panic attack. He freezes for a second, mind racing. He realizes after a moment that freaking out isn’t going to help you at all. He takes a shaky breath, then looks at the diagram. 

“Okay,” he says, “you ready?” You nod.

He inhales, holds his breath, lets it out, and holds it again in four second intervals, counting you through it as you breathe together. He repeats the steps again and again, feeling your grip on his arm gradually loosen. He notices the changes, slow and gradual, as the breathing exercises start to work. The relief you both feel as he witnesses you progressively come down from this is unlike anything else he’s ever felt. A little while later, you think you’ve calmed down enough to talk about it.  

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice soft and tender. 

“Yeah.” you say. He’s never been more relieved to hear your voice. You take in a shaky breath, fumbling for the words you’re looking for. 

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, dude.” he says, nudging you gently. You pause, then let out a breathy, weepy laugh, remembering the first time you said that to him. It gets quiet again. You can tell him, you think. You’ve mentioned that your dad was an asshole in the past, so you’re sure it won’t be too much of a shock. Your therapist has said it’s good to talk about this stuff in places where you feel safe enough to. You don’t think you’ve ever felt safer than in a theater, than with Ricky right next to you. You take in a steadying breath.

“My dad, before he left,” you start. Your voice is so small, he’s never heard you speak so quietly, “he got… scary… when he was mad sometimes. Loud noises still make me kind of jumpy, you know?” 

He understands what you’re saying. More than he hates this theater for putting you in danger, he hates that someone ever made you afraid like that - especially someone who was supposed to take care of you. He’s never met him, and he’s sure you wouldn’t want him to, but Ricky really hates your dad now. 

“Yeah,” he says softly, still rubbing your back. You fidget with your fingers. It’s quiet again. 

“He never came to any of my shows.” 

There’s a retroactive, humorless laugh towards the end.

“I started giving my comp tickets to friends cause I knew he wouldn’t come.” 

Ricky somehow hates this guy even more. You look up, eyes moving around, taking in the details of the room.

“I guess that’s why theaters have always felt like more of a home, you know?” you chuckle, remembering how much normal stuff you missed out on to be at rehearsals so much. “Even when things were bad, they were still good. Plus, it was the one place he was guaranteed not to be, so…” 

At some point, you curled up against him, and your head now rests on his warm chest. His hoodie is soft under your cheek, and you feel close to him. It’s a nice feeling. 

“So, why did you stop?”

“Stop what?” you ask, snapping out of your train of thought circling around how nice he feels against you. 

“If theatre’s your home, why did you stop?” Maybe he shouldn’t ask, but you’ve told him so many times how glad you were to start acting again when you started at East High. You let out a dry laugh, a cynical tinge of hindsight present in your reply. 

“I thought it would be easier.” you state. It sounds so stupid to say out loud now, but it did make sense at the time. “Going from such a face paced, high pressure environment to normal life in a suburban town… I thought I could be normal. I thought I would feel more fulfilled if I really committed to letting myself be a normal teenager for a while, but…” You laugh again, this one warmer.

“I couldn’t stop.” you confess. “I did one summer completely free of any and all performing arts - I even quit dance - and I practically lost my mind. It was terrible. In a profession like this, it either drives you totally crazy or keeps you sane. I guess I need theatre to keep me sane.” You laugh again. “God, listen to me. I sound like such an actor…” you chuckle, hoping he doesn’t think you sound too pretentious. 

He understands. There’s a certain peace he’s noticed he only finds in rehearsal spaces. He wonders if that makes him an actor too. He hopes it does. He can sense how comfortable around him you are, and it makes his heart feel full, that you trust him when you’re so vulnerable. You trace your hand across his chest, then idly through his hair, and he feels like his heart is going to burst. It gets quiet again, the only noises are your soft breaths mixing together and his pulse racing under your fingertips. 

“Thanks for this…” you begin, but the words dry up in your throat as you look over at him, realizing how close you are, how alone the two of you are. It hits you how close you’re pressed against each other, how badly you want to touch him. Based on the way he’s looking at you, he’s thinking the same thing.

You can’t hold back from kissing him any longer. Besides, why should you? Life is short, who are you to deprive yourselves of the pleasure of kissing someone you’re really into? Especially in such an intimate moment like this, all cozy and tucked away together. You start to lay back, letting him pin you against the cushions of the couch, but a cloud of dust rises up on impact, followed by the noise of something that you swear was a rat scrabbling away. You clap your hand over your mouth, you and Ricky staring at each other in shock. 

“Nope.” you say.

“Nope.” he agrees, standing up. 

“Nope.” you echo, both moving quickly away from the couch. Before you can take a look around for another convenient place to make out for a little while, Ricky picks you up in one swift motion, setting you on the table full of boxes stacked nearly as high as your head that he can just see over. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you back in for another kiss. 

“Ricky…” you giggle when he bites your neck, moving his hand into your pants. 

He’s never felt closer to you than he does now, holding you tight in his arms while his fingers plunge in and out of your dripping heat as you sigh against his skin. No matter how many times you feel them stretching your tight walls and rubbing that spot that makes your eyes roll back, it never fails to amaze you how good his fingers feel inside you like this. They reach places yours could never, and maybe it’s the years of playing guitar, but they always seem to know just what to do to make you throb and squeeze around them. 

Soon you’re ready for more, you need more, and he can feel that. You watch in anticipation, breath bated, as he undoes his jeans enough to pull out his cock, hard and leaking for you, pulsing in his hand. He quickly rolls a condom up his shaft, just as needy to be inside you as you are for him, and lines himself up with your entrance. He works his way in, gently, slowly burying his cock inside you. He peppers your face with kisses until he’s all the way in, his pelvis nudging against your twitching clit. 

He starts to thrust slowly, settling into a rhythm and squeezing your hips in his hands. You wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to push your tongue into his mouth. He makes you feel good, so good, and he’s barely gotten started. He ruts his hips into yours, giving you everything you need, fucking all the residual stress and sadness out of your sweet, pretty head. He’s careful not to go too crazy, toeing the line between comforting pleasure and overstimulation. 

You cling onto him so tightly, so vulnerable in his arms, batting your pretty eyes up at him and god, it makes his stomach twist. Your breath fans warm across his face with every little pant, every moan he draws out of you, and it feels better than the warmest shower on the coldest day. He’s dizzy with pleasure, burying his face into your neck to get high off the sweet scent of the perfume you’re wearing today - this one smelling like book pages and fruit. 

In spite of the way you cling to him and clench around him and moan his name, he doesn’t know how you feel, what you are. He wishes he had an answer, because he can feel it building up. You’re so tight and wet, squeezing him so pretty than any strength he would have had not to say it so soon is gone.

“I-”

“Ricky?”

You both freeze at the sound of Nina’s voice making her way through the crowded room. Ricky sees the instant your eyes get wide and you bite your lip, eyes locked with yours, and he has to try not to cum on the spot from how goddamn cute you look and how quick you clench and squeeze around him. He doesn’t hesitate, pulling your head down to his chest, below the line of the boxes as Nini finally walks past the piano and sees him obscured by boxes. Tucked into his chest, you’re out of her line of sight. You can feel yourself squeeze around him, pulsing, a breath away from cumming. You’re surprised at how turned on the protective gesture makes you, the feeling of his hand on the back of your head keeping you tucked away. He lets out a low hiss of air only you hear.  

“Um, Miss Jenn wants to know where you guys went.” she says. If Ricky hadn’t been so focused on looking relaxed and casual instead of like he wasn’t balls deep in the tightest wettest warmest cunt he could ever dream of, he would have noticed the shape her mouth made. He would have recognized it as the same tell she’s had since they were little and asked why she was lying, what she really wanted. Nini tries to look around the room for you, but Ricky jumps in before she can. 

“I think she went to the bathroom,” he gestures toward the doorway, “I’ll go find her and we’ll be there in a couple minutes. You can head back, and tell Miss Jenn.” He takes slow, shallow breaths, trying to keep a poker face, trying not to let her realize anything is going on. She looks around the room a little more. 

“...Okay.” she sighs. “Hurry up.” She looks back at him once before leaving. You both wait with bated breath until you’re sure she’s gone. 

“That was such a close call,” you breath, ethereal and glowing lighting his skin on fire wherever you touch and he feels it build up in a rush again. 

“Yeah,” he chokes out, hoping the wrong words don’t slip out instead, “It was.” He’s teetering on the precipice, the words about to spill out, practically edging himself by staying still when you throb and squeeze and pulse around him like that, so he does what anyone would do - he presses hot, wet, open mouthed kisses against your soft pretty lips, and bends over to fuck you within an inch of your life. He moves down your neck as his hips piston into yours, knocking all the air from your lungs. 

“Ricky!” You giggle, overwhelmed with the pace he’s set and the playful kisses he’s smothering you with. 

“Shh, peach, we don’t want someone to find us in here again, right?” he mutters into your skin, that sensitive spot below your ear, and you let out a shuddering sigh. You’re trying so hard to stifle your noises but the best you can do is dampen them. Everything he does feels so good, and he’s so… excited to touch you like this, to make you giggle, that it makes you light headed from all the attention. He pants, resting his head on your shoulder and nuzzled into your neck, overwhelmed by you. He squeezes his eyes closed and scrunches his nose when he smiles in disbelief that someone can make him feel so good, that he love someone this much, and god, he loves you so much. 

The nerve builds again, and he can feel himself getting dangerously close. It’s not the first time by any means, and he’s sure it won’t be the last. So fuck it, he thinks, throwing caution to the wind. What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t do stuff like this in a dusty storage room full of cobwebs and props unless you really like someone, right? And really liking someone is close to loving them. Maybe he should take a leap of faith. He takes in a breath.

“I love-” 

The words and air alike are knocked out of his lungs as you clench hard around him, cumming hard. You hide your face in his shoulder in an adorable attempt to muffle the sounds you're making, nails lightly scratching his back as you hold onto him for dear life. The breath he was going to use to tell you that leaves his mouth as a moan instead. You catch your soft, pretty lips with his, and shove your tongue down his throat to quiet both of you, and it’s enough to send him over the edge. He cums hard, drowning in that pleasure that only you can give him. 

“Fuck,” he moans into your mouth, panting against your skin as his hips rut and spasm against your sensitive walls, your throbbing clit. You gradually come down from your high, and manage to run into the bathroom to get cleaned up before walking back together, trying to be inconspicuous. Miss Jenn gestures for Ricky to come over to her so she can ask if you’re okay. During his brief absence, Nina shows up next to you. 

“You were gone for a while,” she starts quietly, trying to see if your story lines up with Ricky’s. You look over at her smiling, mouth agape, and point to Kourtney, who’s belting her heart on stage. 

“Oh my god!” you breathe, excited and trying not to interrupt, “Did you know she could sing like that?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Nina starts. She’s Kourtney’s best friend, of course she knows she can sing. 

“She’s amazing…” you smile, wondering why she didn’t audition initially. You hope she will in the future, you’re sure Miss Jenn could use someone like her in the cast as well as the crew. Before Nina can wrap back around to her initial question, you’re slipping away to get your water bottle from your bag. Miss Jenn catches your eye, silently and sincerely asking if you’re okay. You flash her a smile and thumbs up. You are now. She nods, then continues typing something on her laptop. 

On your way back, you catch a glimpse of her screen. It’s a total accident, but you don’t like what you see. She’s emailing Principal Gutierrez about using the school gym for the show instead of the El Rey. Your brow furrows. Why wouldn’t she want to use the El Rey? It’s beautiful, affordable, and available, it’s the perfect fit. The school gym? How would that even work? You pull out your phone to text your mom, determined not to let Ricky perform his first show in a gym when a beautiful theater is ready and waiting for you. 

One quick text to your mom  - who’s just as confused about that as you are - and she tells you she’s on top of it. You thank her, glad to have someone that great in your corner. You look over at Ricky, who’s currently sword fighting EJ with a wrapping paper tube. You smile. He’s so sweet, and he’s been through so much, the least you can do is make sure he has the best experience with theatre you possibly can - and that means performing right here on opening night. 

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 8 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 3k

genre: fluff, slice of life

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: making out, more fake texts (please politely ignore that it's facebook messanger it's the only fake text app I could find that's actually functional), nina tries hoovering, nina is generally a messy bitch, kourtney is a good friend, ricky is a sappy down bad bitch

summary: you and Ricky spend the night before opening having a classic sleepover at your place. Ricky falls even harder for you. Nini follows a hunch.

song recs: when you're home - in the heights, better left unsaid - ariana grande, research me obsessively - crazy ex girlfriend soundtrack/brittany snow, home is in your eyes - greyson chance

a/n: I WAS SO EXCITED TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER I LISTENED TO THE WIZARD AND I FOR HOURS CAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY SONG THAT COULD MATCH MY TRIUMPHANT ENERGY. as always thank you to cici for beta reading next part posted at 10 good reviows prepz fuk off xxx666xxx. been reading more my immortal if you couldn't tell. I, like profesor trevolry, am too adikted 2 volxemortserum.

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @brinaslittlefreak @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

Sleepovers at your place are something that’s become a staple in Ricky’s life, and he doesn’t think he’s ever needed one more than tonight. It’s the one night the whole cast has off before opening night, so of course you’re going to spend it together. Tech week was one of the most intense things Ricky has ever experienced. It was one week straight spent at the El Rey, doing homework in between scenes, getting used to costumes, sets, lights, and props, and more importantly, getting used to all of it together. The first full run through felt surreal. If the last few rehearsals had been that exhausting and amazing and exciting, he can’t imagine how great opening night will be. 

So what better way to decompress from a week straight of late nights and re-running the same numbers and scenes and working out the kinks, than being where he is right now. Ricky sits on your bed across from you while you sort through the snacks you’d picked up. There’s a comfortable, cozy energy between you, like there usually is. This is exactly what you both need, he thinks. A relaxing, fun night together before you gear up for show time. You’re trying to contain your excitement, but he can see it simmering, growing stronger in the back of your mind. 

The door opens and your mom enters, holding the last few DVDs of shows you’ve been in. 

“Took me a little while to find them, but here’s Matilda - regular, and the stripped down version - and Fun Home.” She smiles, beaming the way she does whenever she talks about you performing. 

“Thanks mom,” you smile at how excited she and Ricky are about your shows. Ricky looks at the titles in her sharpie handwriting on the plastic cases, excitement fluttering through him at getting to see more of you performing. It might be corny to say, but you’re definitely his favorite actor.

“Which ones have you seen so far?” she asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway, happy to have someone to brag about you with and talk about your shows. Ricky lists off all the musicals you’ve watched together over the last few days. 

“...And we just finished Tuck Everlasting.” 

“That one’s my favorite!” she gasps, beaming, and Ricky agrees. He can see why; you brought the role of Winnie Foster to life, and he can’t believe it had such a short run. She’s about to leave, when she remembers the paperwork she dropped off at city hall earlier. 

“Oh, by the way,” she starts, “I heard back from Mitch in permits and zoning, and all the paperwork was expedited. Everything you need to perform at the El Rey has been approved, and you got a green light for opening night!” You and Ricky start yelling and freaking out - exactly what she expected - and you jump off your bed to squeeze her in a tight hug. 

“Thank you!” you cheer, and Ricky echos. 

“Of course!” she smiles.

“That’s amazing!” Ricky beams, “My dad said it might not be ready in time.” 

“Well,” she continues, “I may have pulled a few strings to get it expedited…” 

She barely gets the sentence out before you’re loudly thanking her again. 

“Okay, okay,” she says, calming down your cheers and heading for the door with a smile “have fun you guys.” 

She closes the door, and you’re alone again. He takes in a breath, embracing this moment, here in your room with you. He looks at your decorations, the snowglobe on your bookshelf, the posters on the wall and polaroids taped to your mirror. The jacket you had been wearing earlier is now tossed on the back of your desk chair, and your backpack is still where you’d dropped it earlier when you got home. 

He’s overwhelmed with that big warm feeling in his chest he gets whenever he’s around you. He loves your room, loves sleepovers with you, loves… he chokes down the thought. He can feel the urge to spill his guts, to bear his soul, but he shoves it down. As easy as it would be to pull you close and kiss the breath out of your lungs and tell you everything he’s ever felt for you, he knows the timing isn’t right. He fights temptation, helping you unbag the rest of the snacks you got to distract himself from the unspoken words he’s barely holding back. You hand him the stack of DVDs and your fingers brush. His heart jumps at the contact. 

"Here," you say, "pick one out." You smile with that easygoing energy that's become so familiar to him. Sleepovers have been a pretty regular occurrence for a while now, and they still fill him with a warm, bubbling excitement. He decides which one he wants to watch first, and you slide the disc into your laptop. 

“Oh wow,” he starts laughing at the grainy camera quality, “Matilda caught in 4k.” 

“Shut up,” you laugh, nudging him playfully, “this was from, like, 10 years ago.” 

At first it was hard to look past the sketchy camera quality and low volume of the bootlegs - or slime tutorials as you jokingly called them - but now he’s learned to see past it. He latches on quickly to your singing, feeling himself get sucked into the story right away. He’s seen another version of you performing as Matilda, but this one is the infamous stripped down one. Even though he knows the reasons behind the drastic set change, the critics were right - it does add something to the way the story is told. He realizes that even though they’ve kind of been flying by the seat of their pants to make it to opening night, it will still turn out okay.

After watching Matilda, you practice your stage makeup, and have Ricky help you pick out the perfect shade of Sharpay pink nail polish. You had put on High School Musical - it was practically obligatory - and you made it about 15 minutes into the sequel before you were in Ricky’s lap. His lips are all over you, pressing into yours, your neck, your cheek. He squeezes your waist, arms snaking around to pull you closer to him. He bites your lip playfully, getting you to gasp a little, and pushes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands are on his face, in his hair, and he can’t get enough of your touch. He lets out a soft moan into your mouth, angling his head to deepen the kiss. 

Your phone buzzes as he pulls away, kissing down your neck. He runs his tongue over your skin, biting, and making you giggle. You get so flustered when he kisses you like this, and he absolutely loves watching you get more worked up for him. You glance down, seeing the notification from the pizza place you ordered from on your phone. 

“Ricky,” you start, and he hums in response, biting your neck again, “Ricky, the-” 

You’re cut off by a knock at the door. He pulls away reluctantly, and you take in each other’s disheveled states. 

“Pizza guy.” you finish, getting off his lap to go down stairs. He sighs, staring at the doorway you just disappeared through. He’s still full of that frenetic energy he gets when you touch him. You look so sweet when you’re blushing and giggling for him, he wants to make you even more flustered like that. His phone buzzes with a text from Nini. He’s still getting used to seeing her contact without the hearts that always used to be around it.

Before he can finish typing out a response, you reenter the room holding up pizza and breadsticks triumphantly. He smiles and sets his phone face down. He wants to be here with you, eating pizza and watching sitcoms, trying not to get too nervous and excited about how close opening night is. The only drama he wants to think about right now is the onstage kind. 

Nina sits on her bed, homework forgotten as she rants to Kourtney over facetime. Ricky left her on read. Again. He never used to do that, not until he started hanging around you. Kourtney’s been listening to her talk about you to death for at least an hour, and she’s out of ways to respond. 

“I am so done talking about this.” Nini laughs, shaking her head. 

“Good, cause-” 

“It’s just, like,” she continues, and Kourtney thinks she should have known where that was going. It was at least the third time Nini declared she was done with the topic at hand. Nini continues, “do you think hanging out a couple times gives you the right to be so possessive over someone?” 

In the time they’ve been facetiming she’s cleaned her room, picked out her clothes for tomorrow, and finished her homework. She’s half way through her skincare routine, and secretly hoping this will wrap up soon so she can get some rest for tomorrow. 

“Like, last summer Ricky went on dates with a few girls - not just hanging out - and by the start of school he only wanted to be with me. So, really she’s just making herself look desperate. It’s just sad that he’s going to dump her soon and come back to me like he always does, and she’ll have no idea it’s coming. Like, that’s going to be really embarrassing for her, right?” the faux sympathy in her voice turns into a chuckle. 

Kourtney’s brow furrows. In spite of how sick she is of hearing about this, she can’t shake the feeling that you and Ricky are obviously closer than two people who have just hung out a few times. She’s seen the way you look at each other, the way you talk to each other. People who feel platonically about each other don’t do that. 

“Uh, Neen, what exactly did she say?” she tries to sound casual so Nini doesn’t get suspicious, but she’s so wrapped up in her train of thought, she doesn’t notice the I have a hunch about something look Kourtney always gets when she suspects something is up. 

“She was like, uh,” she begins in an exaggerated impression of you, “we like, totally hooked up a couple times, but we haven’t made anything official, but that still means he only likes me. Also you dumped him, so… like, you have no right to be in his life anymore, and he basically hates you now.” 

Kourtney squints. Through Nini’s very biased recount of the exchange you had, if any of that was verbatim, if you really did tell her you hooked up with Ricky… what kind of hooking up did you mean? Nini seems to think it’s the casual meeting up kind - let’s all hook up at denny’s after the show -  but Kourtney isn’t so sure. It’s none of her business, it’s really none of her business. Plus, pointing this out to Nini would just make her even more obsessed and freaked out than she is. She needs to move on from Ricky, and the last thing Kourtney wants to do is make that harder for her. She and Ricky aren’t together, and she’s certainly not going to be the one to enable any prying or backsliding, intentional or not. Instead, she redirects. 

“Uh… I don’t think she can cut you out of his life for him.”

“Right?!” Nini exclaims, glad someone agrees with her. “Like, we’ve known each other since kindergarten. I’ve known him longer than anyone. You can’t get that close to someone that fast.” She sighs. “Also… there’s something about her that’s been bothering me…” Kourtney scoffs.

“What about her doesn’t bother you?”

“No, no,” Nini laughs, thinking back, “it was something Gina said…” it's been itching in the back of her mind for a while, and she can't ignore it any longer. She has to finally figure this out. She shakes her head, knowing she shouldn't keep Kourtney up any longer. "It's probably nothing. Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow night, Kourt." 

"Okay. Night, Nini." 

Finally, she hangs up. She should go to sleep. She has a big day tomorrow - it's opening night for god's sake - she should go to bed. Instead she opens her laptop, typing 'broadway matilda basement flood' into the search bar. She clicks on one article, then another. Eventually she finds a picture of three girls in matching Matilda costumes and is hit hard by nostalgia. She was obsessed with Matilda when she was a kid, always begging her moms to take her to New York so she can audition and be a Matilda on Broadway, be part of the friend group of other girls her age acting on Broadway together. The girl on the right was always her favorite, and she used to watch the backstage videos she was in for broadway.com vlogs all the time. She completely forgot about her Matilda phase, how obsessed she was with those girls. 

She looks at the caption of the photo, caught off guard by her favorite's name. It’s the same as yours. But that can't be you, right? The last names are different. And her parents are divorced. She remembers when you mentioned it at rehearsal once. She opens another tab, continuing to search for an answer. Hours pass and she's deep into the Google rabbit hole. Hours pass, and she confirms it’s you. You played Matilda on frigging Broadway. After extensive research, she pieces together that you and your mom both had you last names changed to her maiden name, presumably after the divorce, and it doesn't look like you've acted professionally since. She opens the same tabs on her phone to look at later. She shuts her laptop and flops back into her pillows. She stares at the ceiling in disbelief that you've somehow managed to keep a secret this massive from everyone. 

After eating a majority of the pizza and breadsticks, drinking several cups of tea, and watching some more Netflix, you and Ricky are finally ready for bed and curl up under the covers with each other. You're lying up next to his chest, your body heat minglinf together, and he doesn't think he's ever felt more at peace. Your hand is warm through his shirt, and he keeps pressing kisses across your face just to hear your sweet giggle. You smile at him, blinking sleepily, and when he looks into your eyes he feels it. He's home. He gazes at your face, enamored, never wanting to look away. You look so pretty like this, curled up next to him and half asleep. He's learned to tell when he's going to sleep really well and it's always on nights like this. He never knew how badly he needed to feel his breath sync up with yours, feel your hearts beating in time. He can't imagine being more content than he is right here, with you. Even the air in your room smells sweet to him, just because you're here so often. 

He thinks back, running through the whole night again, returning again and again to being right here with you. Every moment with you is amazing. You have this way of transforming the mundane into something special. He’s still in disbelief that he’s the one who gets to lay next to you at the end of the day, he's the one you have whispered conversations with when you're both stupid tired. He gets to be the one to make you giggle and smile over nothing. He remembers a tweet he saw a while ago that said 'You're in her dms, I'm dancing in the kitchen with her while the bread we made bakes. We're not the same.' You might not be in the kitchen right now, but he really understands the sentiment right now. You're cuddled into his chest, melting into his touch, blushing and hiding your face when he looks at you too long like that. It’s him, not some other guy. He doesn't think other guys could be as devoted to you as he is, they couldn't love you the way he can, the way you deserve to be loved. 

He's really glad you're with him and not with some fuckboy who would just want you for your body and break your heart. The idea that anyone could even think about doing that to you, even some hypothetical fuckboy, makes him sick. You're so sweet, so easy to love. He doesn't know how everyone you've met hasn't fallen in love with you, how every guy isn't throwing themselves at you. A twinge of jealousy passes through him at the thought. He brushes the thought aside, reminding himself that you're here with him. As if proving his point, you set aside your favorites squishmallow to cuddle him closer and his heart feels like it's going to burst. Girls don't do that if they don't really… really like someone, right?

You settle against him and let out a big sigh. He's had enough sleepovers with you to know that means you're about to be out like a light. He is too, and he fights off his heavy eyelids long enough to get one more good look at you before they close. He smiles as he starts to drift off. This is his favorite part, getting to fall asleep next to you do he can wake up next to you, just like he wants to forever. He can't imagine a morning where he doesn't get to see you, doesn't get to hold you in his arms, and he doesn't want to. He brushes that aside, and focuses instead on how nice you smell, how comforting your breath is on his neck. You're so warm, you make him feel so warm, and he can't get enough of your body heat and his becoming one under the mass of blankets. He doesn't know what tomorrow will hold, but he's so excited to experience it, to have his very first opening night with you. 

[jimblejamblewritings]

luck be a (leading) lady | part 10.

[Posted 2022.09.29]

Summary: Y/N has always been a background character. That’s just life for some folks isn’t it? But what if she’s determined to not just be another member in the ensemble? What if someone helps her step into the spotlight in her own special way?

Warnings for the Series: a teeny bit of angst but mainly fluff, slow burn 

Pairing: ricky bowen x black!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I’m thinking 3 or 4 parts left after this. It won’t go much further in the story than when Ricky and the reader actually get together.

A/N II: My writing style in this isn’t my favorite but I never realized how hard it would be to do hsmtmts as a series fic. I still love the plot though so I’m going to see it through but serious thank you to all the readers that enjoy this story because I’m honestly not sure about my own writing here. 

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“What’s this?” you asked in the morning when you left Honeycomb to see Ricky at the door with a cherry popsicle from the food hall. 

“They don’t have smoothies here and I’m pretty sure the nearest McDonald’s is twenty miles from here.” 

You sighed. “I’m guessing I’m not Anna or Elsa.” 

“Sorry.”

“What did you get?”

“Kristoff,” he said, not quite looking at you. 

“Really?!” 

Ricky stood at the door for a moment after you ran back inside. You came out with an instant camera around your neck. Taking Ricky’s hand, you practically pulled him towards the cast list. Yep, there you were as the ensemble. But Kristoff was a big deal. Ricky gladly let you move him to stand next to the cast list so you could take a picture. You turned after feeling a tap on your shoulder. 

“Morning, Val,” you said quietly.�� 

“I know casting directors don’t have to justify their choices but I feel like I should explain.”

“You don’t have to. I know I’m shy but I’ve been in the professional program since I was nine, I’m used to not getting parts. Just wasn’t for me. Or it was but someone was better. I can never remember how Bennet says that phrase.” 

“Well, I love the attitude. But, no, this one I do. You were honestly one of my considerations for Anna or Elsa but paired with Gina and your voice is too light to be Elsa. And you both are amazing dancers but you played Clara s—”

“Playing the lead cost me the lead?” You asked in confusion. 

“No. Well, yes. But I want to use your ballet in the show. So you couldn’t be Anna. You did bring your ballet stuff like all the years before right?” 

“I have a sneaking suspicion I’m playing a personified snowflake.”

Val clicked her teeth while giving you finger guns before walking away. You had to laugh. You turned back to Ricky to take another picture. Gina and Kourtney were dragged into your picture. They all smiled largely. You handed each of them a polaroid that they held like a porcelain doll. Ricky took your camera from you. 

“I heard Val. You need a picture too, Prima.” 

“What’s Y/N doing?” Ashlyn asked. “It says we’re both ensemble.”

“Is it playing a person?” Carlos asked, still salty he was Olaf after being Lumiere.

“A snowflake,” you answered. 

Ricky held up the camera. “A very special snowflake… That came out…”

“Just take the picture, Ricky.” 

You were fighting everything in you not to laugh. He handed you the picture and your camera back. You agreed to show him around the camp while waiting for the hours to pass until the campfire. He had seen the entire camp by lunch time. Instead of eating in the food hall, you and Ricky ate on the pier of the lake. 

“So why is it called Shallow Lake if this giant thing exists?” He asked as he took a bite of his sandwich. 

“It used to be a lot bigger than this way before it became a camp. It’s also not nearly as deep as it looks. Almost everyone can touch the bottom, you might need to be on your tippy toes but still… Hey, you don’t mind if Gina and Jett join our log, do you?” 

“No but wouldn’t Gina be with EJ?”

“He’s working on the script tonight cause of the read-through tomorrow. It’s kind of eating up all his time so I told Gina to just hang out with us and try to forget about it for a bit.” 

“Well, I’m totally fine with them joining.” 

You both started to head back to your cabins to get stuff for the campfire. It was supposed to be a night to sleep out in the woods so you advised Ricky to bring a sleeping bag or find a tent buddy. The two of you met back up at the actual site. You went to your favorite log right in front of the fire. The large brooding presence behind you was clearly Jett. Without looking, you handed him a blanket. 

“You could try to look a bit more enthusiastic… Hanns.” 

Jett just sighed. 

“That’s a big deal! Ricky, please tell Jett playing Hanns is a big deal.” 

Jett didn’t really seem to care if the message came from someone other than you. You decided to drop the matter for now. Ricky was pleasantly surprised when you sat in between him and Gina. He honestly thought you would sit by Jett. He didn’t know what was going on between you two but Ricky wasn’t sure if you even lit up that much with him and Gina. 

“This is Maddie’s favorite time,” you said as you dropped your head onto Ricky’s shoulder. 

Maddox gave you a smile before turning her attention to the other campers. You weren’t kidding about this being her favorite night. She loved scaring people with the story of the woman in the woods: Susan Fine of Shallow Lake. Despite hearing the song that started the story, you still tapped your foot as EJ and Maddox sang it. EJ disappeared back into his tent as soon as it finished. Maddox stood up to walk around while speaking, she felt it really enhanced the story. You listened intently so she would always have someone to look at in case she felt the others weren’t paying attention. 

“And what Susan Fine when she wandered out here by herself?” 

“Corbin Bleu’s helicopter?” Jett half asked, half stated. It earned a light round of laughter from the others. 

Maddox stumbled over her next lines. “N-no. She was out in the woods for so long that she never came home. And it was so long ago that she still roams to this day lost, hungry, and angry.” 

“You guys, am I Susan Fine?” 

“You are pretty angry dude,” Ricky joined in on the joking. “Like all the time.” 

The laughter died when Maddox got visibly upset. Her scary story time was turning more into campfire laughter than anything. She stormed off, making you and Jett look at each other. You tilted your head but Jett just looked away. With scary story time effectively over, everyone started to retreat to their tents. You stayed at the fire with Ricky while Gina and Jett both left the log. 

“We have all the stuff for s'mores. Gadget kind of stormed off before handing them out. You want some?” 

“Sure but first I promised Carlos I’d help him scare Kourtney.” 

“Well, I will be here, eating a s’more and acting like I know nothing.”

Ricky patted you on the shoulder before walking off. You weren’t sure how they were going to scare Kourtney but you were positive it was going to be elaborate. It must have worked according to the screaming you heard minutes later. Ricky came bounding back in a fit of laughter. He accepted a s’more and dropped back down on the log. 

“Wow, it’s quiet without everyone out here,” he said as he reached for a bottle of water. 

“Yeah, a little too quiet.”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, you wish, Ricky. I just meant usually you can hear the other campers doing stuff. I guess everyone called it in early tonight.”

“Or Susan Fine got them.”

“I’ve been hearing that story for seven years in a row. You can’t scare me with it.” 

“Are you sure you’re not scared? Because my heart is racing.” 

Ricky grabbed your hand and placed it flat against his chest. You felt his slightly fast heartbeat underneath your palm. After a few moments, you pulled away with a scoff. He wasn’t going to prank you like he and Carlos just pranked Kourtney. You refused to get scared. Ricky smiled as you bit into another s’more. This was the first proper alone time he had with you in a while. And while it wasn’t the park and milkshakes, this was definitely just as good as Midnight McDonald’s. 

“You’ve got some chocolate right… Here, I’ll get it.” Ricky’s thumb gently wiped at the corner of your mouth. 

“This is why I don’t eat these often. That and Jett refuses to even look at marshmallows. How do you hate marshmallows?” 

Ricky’s hand faltered. Right, Jett was a thing. Potentially? You looked up at the sky after finishing your last s’more. Ricky looked up for a little bit before looking back at you. 

“What if we slept out here? I think I’ve only slept under the stars twice in all my years of camp.”

“Why not?” 

The two of you grabbed sleeping bags from your tent and went back to the campfire area. Sleeping under the stars proved more peaceful than either of you thought because you didn’t wake up until you heard singing. 

“Is that Sharpay?” you asked a bit groggily. 

Ricky sat up straight. “Sharpay song… Carlos’ voice. I think we might have missed something important.” 

“Well as long as we aren’t late to rehearsal, I think we’ll live. Speaking of which, we don’t have much time to get ready.” 

You both jumped out of the sleeping bags and began the brief walk back to the main camp area. While you were changing into proper clothes after taking a shower, Maddox was lovely enough to tell you that Carlos’ singing was because they were trying to impress Corbin Bleu. Well, the plan was to impress Corbin Bleu. His helicopter hadn’t arrived at the time they thought it would. You couldn’t care less about that and were actually kind of glad that you slept in. 

The more you thought about the documentary, the more it sounded like a bad idea. If you had only looked closer at the release forms but you assumed it was the typical release forms for when Camp Shallow Lake wanted to film campers for promotional videos. Your goal with the documentary was to not bring much attention to yourself. If you were in it then you were in it. But you wouldn’t go out of your way to garner Corbin or his cameraman’s attention. There were enough stars at camp who could do that. 

“You clean up nicely, Mr. Bowen,” you said as you entered The Barn. 

“Back at ya.” 

“What is Val having us do?”

“Stretch and a compliment circle. I think we got the compliment part out of the way.” 

“We are such overachievers.” You started to stretch properly. 

The stretching circle could have been comforting if it wasn’t for the fact EJ was circling you all like a hawk while he read the script over and over again. You weren’t sure why he was so nervous. This might have been his first time directing but it wasn’t like the cast was full of newbies. If he thought this was hard, he should see a week of classes with the Guppy Troupe. Eventually— and hopefully soon— he would get over the perfectionist director persona he seemed to have randomly adopted. 

Corbin and his cameraman came marching through the doors. You weren’t sure how it was possible that they had more enthusiasm in the morning than the entire cast combined. He started walking past each of you one by one. You snickered when it looked like Ricky tried to get a hug that was rejected when Corbin didn’t even pay attention. He gently pushed you but that didn’t stop you from snickering again. As you all gathered in the friendship circle to give light back massages, you looked over to where Corbin and his camera guy were talking. The camera dude gave you weird vibes. You weren’t sure why he just seemed odd. Corbin was kind of weird too, though. Maybe that was Hollywood for you? 

He had some odd advice to try and pull emotions out of people. At one point he suggested that Kourtney and Gina use their real life to inspire. The idea itself made perfect sense except the example he gave was asking if they both liked the same guy. You and Ricky laughed off to the side. Gina and Kourtney had completely different tastes in men. Also how pretentious of Corbin to assume they both liked the same boy, what if it was a girl? Not with those two but he didn’t know them to know that. You laughed even harder when it was suggested that Carlos was the guy. His face deadpanned. 

“Yes, that’s me. The notorious womanizer of the group. Somehow pulling all the ladies I show no interest in.” 

The cameraman— Channing— turned the camera away from the two girls and focused on you and Ricky since you two had been laughing. He got an extra tight shot to really highlight that you were resting your head on Ricky’s shoulder. As an ensemble member, you didn’t need to look at the script for lines. If you guys weren’t singing then you weren’t speaking. So there wasn’t much else to do but just listen to everyone else. Ricky held up a hand slightly. 

“There’s no drama between any of us. We’re all just really good friends.” 

EJ agreed. “This is a pretty drama-free zone.” 

Corbin gave a forced smile. “Okay let’s just move on. You were at Kristoff’s part.” 

“Hey, my ice,” Ricky read. He poked your cheek. “That’s you.” 

“That’s me.” You did spirit fingers, making the others chuckle. Val had let everyone know the extra role you were taking to really make the show next level. 

“Kristoff picks up his bag of ice while Anna and Hans are oblivious,” Val read the stage directions. 

Gina picked up. “I’m sorry, so sorry… Jett’s line is next.” 

You lifted your head from Ricky’s shoulder. “He’s not here?” 

With a sigh you got up from your chair. Channing kept the camera on Ricky who just kept watching you. Maddox grabbed your arm before you left the doors. 

“Why do you still try with him?” 

“Maddie…”

“Go, fine, go find him.” 

You looked around the entire camp multiple times. Either he was actually lost or was oddly good at evading you every step of the way. But it wasn’t in Jett’s nature to avoid you. He might’ve ignored you but that was after you sat next to him. He never got up to leave and he never purposely tried to make you leave. So where the hell was he? You gave up looking but told Dewey who was going to call someone. Stomping your way down a small hill, you found Ricky and Gina practicing lines. Wow, you didn’t realize you had taken up that much time looking for Jett.

“Y/N!” Gina called out, holding up a piece of paper. 

Ricky tried to grab it from her but she stepped out of the way in time to hand you the paper. The words Ricky’s Bucket List were plastered at the top. The first idea that immediately caught your attention was hug a celebrity. 

“Is this why y—”

“Gina already laughed at me on your behalf.” 

“I wasn’t going to laugh… Say yes to something that scares you?” 

“Was agreeing to date Lily not scary enough?” Gina asked. 

“Will you two leave me alone?”

You linked arms with Gina. “Come on, G, let’s go find a space rock so Ricky can complete his dream of walking on the moon. 

She threw her head back in a fit of laughter as the two of you left Ricky to keep practicing his script. It was important to get ready for movie night anyway. You were glad to have missed the rest of rehearsal with Corbin and Channing. You tried to fill Gina in on all the details of how everything worked at camp including movie night and which popcorn flavor was worth it. The movie was supposed to be High School Musical 3 but apparently Gina had asked Val to change it. 

“I’m not trying to say anything to anyone but I think you could help Kourt,” Gina said as you kept walking. “I think it’s anxiety maybe.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for her but asking Val to put on her comfort movie was a great idea.” 

To make sure Kourtney felt comfortable, you and Gina left Ricky and EJ to share a blanket and shared with her instead. Of course, Gina still took the side that put her next to her boyfriend. Kourtney seemed to feel calmer as she ate popcorn and watched Camp Rock. Almost all your attention was on the movie. The rest of it was thinking about your individual rehearsal with Val tomorrow. It was necessary that she and EJ split responsibilities to get the show done in time. That meant you needed private time to figure out what she wanted from you as a snowflake/ice block. 

All you knew of Val’s plan so far was that you would be there for Kourtney’s Let It Go number to help with the magical effects and then you were doing a little bit of Carlos’ In Summer and then dancing with Ricky because Kristoff’s entire personality was that he loved his reindeer and ice. It wasn’t nearly as intense as ballets at the Saltwater, especially the upcoming one, but you were still nervous all the same.

Ricky left movie night a bit early, not feeling up for watching the mini talent show afterwards. He wanted to be up early to work on lines and enjoy more of the nature side of camp. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin when he opened the door to the cabin and saw Jett laying in bed while reading a book. 

“You’re back?” 

“Look, I already got a lecture from Val. I don’t need one from you.” 

“We were counting on you dude. Y/N spent the entire day looking for you.” 

“She always does that, it’s kind of our thing I guess.” 

Ricky scoffed. “That’s a bit messed up to do to someone who cares about you. I get it grumpy sunshine is like your thing but you could’ve even tried to tell her you weren’t gonna be there instead of wasting everyone’s time.” 

Jett closed his book and propped his head up on his hand. “Just a question. Are you actually upset because I took off or does this somehow have to do with Y/N?” 

“Whatever.”

“Great comeback.” Jett went back to his reading.

Ricky ignored him for the rest of the night. It continued into the morning, even when Jett reluctantly stood next to him as they walked to The Barn. You weren’t there yet, probably listening to the music and trying to figure out a dance to it. It wasn’t like you were really needed until lunch. This morning was supposed to be Kristoff and Anna work mainly. Ricky took a seat in one of the chairs set up in the middle of the room. Carlos, Val, and EJ were standing in front of everyone with creepy smiles and a posterboard presentation on a stand.

(part 11)

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[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Kourtney Greene Masterlist

none yet!

[solarwriting]

If you’re still taking these, fluff 4 with Gina from hsmtmts?

(Fluff) 4. "OH, you're jealous!"

Y/n entered the auditorium and saw Gina and Ricky sitting together on the piano, singing a song. A love song of a things. Y/n frowned and turned on her heel and made her way to her locker.

Gina soon found Y/n and the two of them made their way home. "I though you were going to meet me in the auditorium." Gina said confused.

"You seemed busy." Y/n said, shrugging.

"What? What are you talking about? Are you mad at me?" Gina's confusion grew at Y/n's comment.

Y/n shrugged again, "You seemed cozy with Ricky. That's all."

Gina's face lit up in realization, "Oh, you're jealous!"

"What, no. I have no idea what you're talking about." Y/n argued at the two girls entered Gina's house.

"It's okay," Gina said grabbing Y/n's hand. "It's cute." She finished before pressing her lips to Y/n's.

[retvenkos]

just saying, these ej caswell x reader pairings i came up with are great. however, to be the only ej caswell writer on this app as of now calls for sharing these ideas for fun bc i can’t write them-

av club! ej x journalist! reader

rival! ej x north high dancer! reader (exes to lovers imo, my favorite)

ej x reader as marriage project partners (friends to lovers !)

water polo! ej x swimmer! reader

ej x injured dancer! reader (with the just friends and will they won’t they romance??? chef’s kiss ! angst ! all of it)

and honestly,,, prom. just prom bc i know they won’t give me a prom episode 🥲

thank you for letting me put this in your inbox olive sorry to bother you FJSKFJSJ these ideas just have so much potential ✋🏽😭

mARRIAGE PROJECT PARTNERS!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that is the kind of content we deserve.

it reminds me of how my friend had to take care of an egg as her "baby" with this guy who was an sbo and they were complete disasters. big idiots to lovers energy (she had a crush on him but it sadly never went anywhere). first, my friend put the egg in an empty face cream jar that was filled with necessary padding, but then she closed the lid so her teacher told her that her child was suffocating and the sbo was like "we need to talk about cUsToDy" (jokingly). but then this man leaves the kid at the school over the weekend, so he had to get back into the school when the basketball team had a game. my friend went with him and i can only imagine it was very funny for them to have to ask the custodian for the key to the biology room because they left their child, tommy, in there. (part exercise was that you had to give it a name and call it your "child" not your "egg". idk.) my friend jokingly got to be like, "we need to get a dIvOrCe." it was great.

and for another baby egg story, my mom had to take care of one when she was in high school, and her partner dropped it in the cafeteria.

i could see there being an entire episode of hsmtmts about the main cast getting assigned egg babies or marriage project partners, and all of this drama (and more!) ensues. its so in character for the series. just imagine..... nini gets paired with ej for maximum "we used to date" awkward energy (but also they work really well together, i want their friendship to be sacred),,,, gina and ricky get paired up for maximum tension and “how can i be a parent when mine are not great models?” freak outs,,, kourtney and seb are great parents that really get into it (taking pictures and everything), and big red and carlos are just like..... i let my egg sit here beside me. i haven't had half the problems that everyone else has had. 

but also.... don't school use fake baby dolls now? isn't that a thing? that would be even worse, tbh, since some of them can cry...