#kpop funny quotes

[love-zara-skz]

[mangocustard16]

Carats: Are you flirting with me? Jeonghan: No, I’m just hot and talking.

[meowmk]

i got piercings so here’s nct crack tweets part 5

[soopibean]

SEVENTEEN VS DISPATCH

This is how Seventeen would react to seeing a dispatch reporter following them.

Disclaimer!! As we all know, dispatch is a questionable entity and obviously the members of seventeen wouldn't react in this way. HOWEVER this is just meant for fun so don't take it too seriously.

Warnings: Mentions of cultish activities, Jeonghan is a scary man, reporter may like coups a little too much. Kidnapping?

Scoups

He angrily rants at the reporter, aggressively telling them what he'll do if he sees them here or around his members again. (Papa coups)

The reporter is left feeling a mixture of fear and arousal. Doesn't return either way.

Jeonghan

They're not watching him, he's watching them.

After a few days of following him they begin to realise he's visiting places they frequent. Restaurants they eat at, even the school they went to... But the most terrifying is when they realise at the end of the day, Jeonghan drove right to their house.

The reporter bursts through his front door to find Jeonghan eating a meal with his own wife and kids, a sinister smile played on his lips.

The reporter quits his job the next day and leaves the country.

Joshua

Simply gives them a gracious smile as he approaches them, offers a firm handshake as he begins his indoctrination. He doesn't see 'dispatch', he sees lost souls perfect for his cause.

The reporters are easy to convince.

Jun

Hasn't noticed. Assumed they were the trash collectors so he personally hands them his bin bags when he sees them. This was a good opportunity for them to snoop, though after opening them, all they find are bags full of scrunched up paper. It's all completely blank.

The reporters are left confused and empty handed.

Hoshi

'Horanghaes' in their direction whenever he see them, asks them to do it back. If they don't he becomes very upset.

The reporters now do it on impulse in most situations... They've become the laughing stock of the office.

Wonwoo

Notices them immediately. Convinced it's the government. Goes into hiding and starts wearing a tinfoil hat.

The reporters receive a bonus for capturing a photo of Wonwoo in said hat.

Woozi

They wait outside his studio for weeks. The blinds are always pulled, the lights are always on but no sign of life is seen. They finally leave but as they do, they miss the chance to see the wild Woozi emerging from the building, hissing at the sun and passing out from dehydration.

The reporters wasted everybody's time and are swiftly demoted.

DK

Greets them like old friends, asks about their families, brings them coffee on occasion. Even if they did find something they could report, they could never bring themselves to betray him.

The reporters become his personal protectors.

Mingyu

Immediately thinks they've caught him in a dating scandal. They follow him as he leaves the dorm late at night dressed perfectly in an expensive suit. He arrives at the restaurant, greeting somebody with a hug... It's Jungkook.

The reporters get sued by HYBE.

The8

Starts filming and taking pictures of them out of spite. Glares in disapproval at any given opportunity.

The reporters end every day feeling judged and self conscious.

Seungkwan

DRAMA QUEEN. Acts annoyed but is actually flattered. Begins to create his own fake scandals.

'O-oh I didn't see you there, I was just talking on the phone to my- oh I shouldn't have said that'

Struts off giggling, looking back every few seconds in hopes they'll follow.

The reporters decide to leave him to it.

Vernon

Does. Not. Care. Completely devoid of emotion when it comes to them. Simply stares blankly and unblinking in their direction.

The reporters are left feeling insignificant. They do little tricks to try to impress him. It doesn't work.

Dino

After watching him get left behind by the entire group on a beach trip they were having, the reporter offers him a ride home out of pity. Dino doesn't question the man and happily accepts, just grateful to have some company on his birthday. After hearing this the reporter couldn't bring himself to turn in any of the information he had gotten.

The reporter goes home and hugs his son.

However, if Dino had waited a few more minutes, he would have seen Seventeen returning with a birthday cake adorned with candles. Though upon seeing their youngest member missing and witnesses claiming he left in a suspicious vehicle, they are now convinced he had been kidnapped.

Thus chaos ensues... But that's a story for another time ;)

[incquotesx]

jungkook : bitch

jimin : *blocked*

jungkook, calling jimin : wait, unblock me I've something to tell you

jimin : *unblocked*

jungkook : bitch

[singgibanggipoongpoongbanggi]

carats: I am so tired of life I need some inspiration

dk: no matter how hard it is you'll get through it

dino & mingyu: as someone who's be subjected to disrespect all the time your problems are nothing :)

wonwoo: you're stronger than your daddy issues

seungkwan: bitch get over it

woozi: try killing yourself

[mykoreanlove]

Hyunjin: I really feel that I have grown and matured. I’ve really come to like myself as a person.

Chan: What’s the problem?

Hyunjin: Everyone else hates me.

[vanilla-almond-cupcake]

bts: *messes up the choreo*

hoseok: *glares*

the rest of bts: *fearing for their lives*, *tell my parents I love them* *help* *if I beg for forgiveness will I be saved?* *we done messed up folks* *rip bts 2013-2024*

[stay-dazed]

jeongin: look minho-hyung! i drew a picture of you as leebit. he has his arms crossed because people keep irritating him. do you like it??

minho, in tears: it's okay, i guess

[btsicedtea]

namjoon: where's the crab i brought from the beach?

seokjin: *uncovering the seafood boil* wait you didn't bring this for dinner?

namjoon: ...

seokjin:...

the rest of bangtan:...

namjoon: start praying

[love-zara-skz]

Minho, texting: Hey babe, what are you wearing?

Jisung: just my boxers ;)

Minho: so you haven’t done the laundry?

Jisung: i have not.

[minhosimthings]

Interviewer: So what are your pronouns?

Jisung: I identify as a fucking threat. My pronouns are try/me

Interviewer:

The rest of stray kids:

Chan, sighing: alright that's enough sugar cakes for you

[soopibean]

Seventeen MTL likely to get scammed

Most

DK

Gets scammed regularly. You don't even have to do anything and he's already giving you his credit card information. Gets scammed the next day by the same person. Coups has taken control of most of his accounts since his cant be trusted. Still genuinely believes he has a long lost brother in Europe that he sends money to every month, the others tell him its not actually his brother but he's already bonded.

Hoshi

Likes to believe he'd never get scammed but actually falls for it pathetically easily if you know the right angle. Basically say the words shinee or tigers and he begs you to take his money.

Dino

Thought he got scammed once, didn't eat or sleep for days, not cause he was worried about his money, he just knew the others would never let him live it down if they ever found out. Eventually told someone when he reached his breaking point only to find out it was Jeonghan playing a prank on him... You'd think he'd be relieved but his worst fear came true, they found out, and now its only a matter of time before carats find out too. Is high on the list cause he would get scammed more if not for the constant paranoia.

Seungkwan

ALMOST got scammed once and made a huge deal out of it. Intentionally gets scammed on occasion for the drama and for more anecdotes to tell on variety shows.

Jun

Got scammed. Still hasn't noticed.

Mingyu

Jeonghan gives out his information to scam callers when he's bored so he gets scammed by default.

The8

Got scammed once, but made the scammer live to regret it. Takes them to court and leaves their lives in tatters. Dares someone to scam him again. Doesn't even need anti virus at this point, everyone fears him.

Vernon

Doesn't particularly care either way. If he gets scammed, oh well.

Scoups

If DK wasn't around he'd probably get scammed more but he's become so well versed in scams at this point that he knows all the signs to look out for. If he did get scammed, he'd have a similar reaction to The8 though.

Wonwoo

Deeply paranoid about getting scammed, too careful to ever have it happen to him. Has anti scam leaflets he hands out, once gave his signature to a carat on one of them.

Joshua

Anyone that scams him immediately gets sent to hell, he doesn't make the rules.

Woozi

Is practically off the grid at his point, he physically cant get scammed. He doesn't answer his phone, he doesn't go outside. He's untouchable.

Jeonghan

IS the scammer. Even if someone tries to scam him it doesn't matter, he'll have everything they own within the hour.

Least

[correct-kpop]

Dino: so who do like look up to?

Woozi: everyone. I’m like super short

[singgibanggipoongpoongbanggi]

wonwoo: i like to think I lead a complex emotional life but then sun comes out and I'm happy again. I'm functionally no different from a big leaf

[mykoreanlove]

Chan (hitting on a girl): Babygirl, do you come here often?

Seungmin: Hyung, that line is older than you are.