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#last year he immediately knew…
heartsoftruth · 7 months
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ganondoodle · 21 days
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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perilegs · 1 month
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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brucequeensteen · 9 months
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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tenrose · 2 months
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Not my cat flirting with every pet sitters I get him during my vacations lmao
#misc#this year it's a man#i was lowkey worried cause my cat don't know many men#(idk if they even can tell the difference tbh lmfao)#but this hoe of a cat smelled him and immediately targeted his legs#sometimes i wonder if he wouldn't cheat on me with another human if he had a chance dusjsjjejz#anyway the guy is a young man and as someone who struggled when i was younger#i feel like doing a good action paying someone to do a cool job#(i mean cleaning the litter is not exactly a fun job but getting paid to pet a cat is)#also i met him through my physio who knows everyone#because last year i chose a pet sitter through a pet sitting website#but it was hella expensive#and it's basically a scam cause i paid something like 150€ but only 50€ was for the pet sitter the other was for that shit website#fuck start-ups#anyway i decided to do it the old fashioned way#through social relationships#but i struggled cause i have not social relationships???#except for coworkers#but I don't want coworkers to go to my home#that's an absolute no#it'd be a violation plus i am ashamed of my home and shit#so i prefer someone I don't know at all#so if i get judged it has no consequences#(yes i have trust issues)#so i had to actually gather my courage and ask my physio if she knew someone because she works with lot of young adults and teens#and turns out the mom of the man was here and she said she'll ask him#can't go wrong with someone vetted by hus own mother lol#anyway he said cats are his favourite pets so we're good#Loki definitely sensed that he can plays him like fiddle
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gallerypeice · 10 months
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i'm just gonna be evil and say i always fucking hated IH and james
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llycaons · 2 years
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I love how many plot holes cql has. just don’t think about it and it’ll be fine
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ragazza-paradiso · 2 years
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one thing that bothers me is when you tell people you’re a fan of eurovision and they just shit on it to you immediately. like if someone told you they had any hobby, like they follow F1 or they like knitting or they go climbing or they’re a big fan of jazz music or whatever else, no one would just instantly shit on it to that person knowing that they enjoy it and it brings them joy. so why do people constantly do this to me?? i’m really tired of awkwardly laughing and going haha yeah. next time i’m just going to ask them what they’re into and tell them it’s stupid too and they’re an idiot for enjoying it.
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exghul · 2 years
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Why did the author kill you off?
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SOMEBODY HAD TO DIE. sorry, kid. really, honestly, i'm sorry. someone had to die, for one reason or another, and you drew the short straw this time around. this wasn't a matter of surprise. no, your death wasn't meant to be a shock, wasn't meant to rattle the audience to their core. your life was a debt, an obligation. somebody had to go, because the story needed weight, needed sacrifice, needed the conflict to have consequences. maybe you had the perfect balance of "emotional impact" and "lack of loose ends", or maybe the author just didn't know what else to do with you. regardless... you deserved better. another writer could have given you more time and a better death, if even a death at all. at least your fans will never forget- at least they will forge their own stories, tales in which you live to see another day.
absolutely yoinked off @hexsreality ♥ yoink it from me if u please :3
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mxbungle · 2 years
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fuck. just heard my next door neighbor OD’d the other day.
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Staring at the screen thinking, "You can reach out! Please reach out! I'm here, I will always be here for you, please message me. Please."
#so did you know tiktok has a new feature where you can see when aomeone has viewed your profile? did you know?#i learned that the other day when it notified me of like. an old coworker checking it#now he and i are just checking each other back and forth. to me its a fun little game#yknow whats not a fun litle game?#the fact that when i got that notification i immediately went and checked an old friend's that im no contact with#and then she checked mine back..and i checked hers again#and today i got the notification that she checked mine again#im feeling really normal about this by the way#neither of us have anything posted. so maybe im crazy. but im checking just so she gets the notification#and i have to assume shes doing the same. but maybe not#last time we talked i told her she was always welcome back in my life#but i knew i couldn't be the first to reach out. it'd be up to her#and at the time she said she didnt anticipate that being the last time we would talk#so for the last three years ive been hoping praying and waiting for the day that she comes back#even though realistically i know it wont happen so i almost wish she hadnt said that#but this is the closest weve come to speaking in those three years. checking each others tiktok profiles#and im just staring at the notification whispering 'you can come back. please come back'#i will die wishing that she would call me#i know that to be true as much as it hurts. but for right now i can be hopeful. or something like that#and keep checking her profile. in the hopes that she'll come back
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tronlightcyclerun · 1 month
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hey did you know its very nearly 1 year of me being insane about this movie
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pickledworm · 2 months
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almost 4 months after going to the eye doctor and a month and some odd days later after whining abt it online I finally ordered new glasses
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harrycherryhigh · 3 months
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Broke up with my man today for real this time
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floral-hex · 3 months
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okay, so lil steroid shot seemingly hasn’t done much for my breathing, but it did give me a bit of… uh… *squints at side effects* insomnia and sore butt
#lil lil lil bit on edge#hmm hmm hmm maybe nothing is going to help this except time and work which is… laaaaaame 🙄#my butt cheek is still kinda sore#so that’s… what I got going on#doctor wanted to give me vistaril and I immediately shot that shit down#that is evil benadryl#I got some for anxiety attacks about a year ago and HATED them#makes me super sleepy but also extra anxious and helpless and nauseas#I tried one just the other night to see if maybe my body was better with it now. NOPE! that made me feel scared.#brains are weird. I’m sorry buddy. I’m trying to find you good stuff I promise. I still love you mushball#anyway. I went to after hours care. everyone was very nice.#knew they wouldn’t be able to do anything really in depth but they got me a shot and I appreciate them actually listening to me#no copay luckily so… maybe it went ok. got a shot. got to complain to someone. got to feel like I was actually doing something. kinda good.#I apologized for not shaving my butt. but he seemed like a cool dude. he was young. had a neat mustache. nice guy.#I daydream about someone pushing a tube through my nasal passages and opening everything up#that’s all I want.#and then someone going in and excising every growth and expanding all my passages so I have huge fuckin tunnels for nasal passages yeehaw#it’s take everything one hour at a time now#I was so anxious last night. still anxious and on edge today. I’m sure I’ve got some bad vibe chemicals building up in my blood#what like cortisol or something. I don’t know juices! I just know it’s not good to be on edge for a month nonstop.#I didn’t mean to put this many tags#anyway I love you. think of me as your whiny uncle. tell me about your Minecraft world. I know my eyes are closed but I swear I’m listening#you can ignore this#text
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foldingfittedsheets · 2 months
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My nana maternal grandmother who taught me swears had one of the most ridiculous pet names for her cat when I was growing up. For reasons known only to her, she simply called the cat: Kitty Kitty Meow Meow. The creature in question was an absolute love bug and lived to be almost twenty.
When I was dating my last boyfriend Brendan we ended up living with his mom briefly before we moved up north together, and his sister lived at home too. One day I was sitting in the kitchen and heard Brendan call teasingly to his sister, “Okay, Miss Kitty Kitty Meow Meow!”
His sister laughed but my head shot up. “What did you just say?”
Brendan ambled over to me, “Oh, it’s an old inside joke. There was this one day I was riding the bus to Charlie’s house and I heard this girl on the bus say her grandma’s cat was named Kitty Kitty Meow Meow. It was so stupid I rushed home to tell my sister. It’s like naming a dog Doggy Doggy Bark Bark.” He was hysterically giggling just relating this story.
I stared at him.
I said, “Charlie and I were on the same bus route.”
He blinked, his giggles tapering down and slowly started to frown.
“That girl was me. That is the name of my nana’s cat.”
It turned out that while Brendan, a year younger than me, had never met me before we both graduated high school, he had apparently sat behind me once on the bus and turned a brief snippet of my life into a meme with his sister. Then a decade later we met through Charlie in college and went on to date. We were both flabbergasted by this coincidence.
But there was one more twist in store for me. I told my family about the way our paths had crossed before we ever dated and they thought it was hilarious.
Then a few weeks later I got a frantic call from my parents while they were in California visiting my paternal grandmother.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?”
There was weird excited static and thumps as the phone passed around and I heard my dad in the background urging my grandma, “Tell her!”
My grandma said ponderously, “You know my cats name is Kiki.”
“Of course, it’s a really cute name.”
“Your dad wants me to tell you the full thing.”
My eyes widened. I could not believe what was about to happen to me but I knew it was coming.
“Her name is Ki-Ki Meow Meow.”
I got it on both sides. Both my grandmas, in different states, with no contact, had named their cats the same silly ridiculous thing. I immediately ran to tell Brendan who laughed so hard he almost threw up.
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