#learn how to do math and stfu

[evilwriter37]

You know that things can make you uncomfortable without you having to deem them as illegal, right?

[namgyucentral]

OC INTRO PART I !! — Kennedy Siblings

leonard wayne kennedy jr.

first son, first grandson, first child. he was born with all the pressure of succeeding.

and he did.

straight A+s (100% or higher)

QB of the school's football team, got into varsity in freshman year

4.0 GPA

36 on the ACT

5s on all AP exams

Valedictorian

1600 SAT

Graduated at 16, got into Harvard.

He's basically the "burnt out gifted kid" who never really had the chance to burn out. he didn't let himself. he just kept going and going and going until he got where he was expected and beyond.

He doesn't really care for fictional things such as movies or stories or even fictional books. Even when he was in elementary school, he would always check out books from the non-fiction section.

The only fictional books that interest him are the classics.

Not very much of a smiler.

He was always an older brother/authority figure to his younger siblings. As the years went by he just kept losing his inner child and was basically forced to mature by the time he got to 5th grade.

He gets frustrated at people who don't use common sense.

He is a very "you have to see it to believe it" type of person. So in his mind Santa Claus isn't real. Neither are unicorns or fairies. :(

He won't tell anyone but he LOVES American folklore. It's probably the only story he could listen to again and again without pointing out how unrealistic it is. (examples: Paul Bunyan, John Henry, Johnny Appleseed)

He doesn't really tolerate crying. It makes him uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to do or how to comfort the person crying. So he just walks away.

He's never really free to do anything.

He's hardest on Nate & Marion but in different ways.

In high school he was actually quite popular.

He's always in a rush. He gets an assignment, it's completed before class ends. He's always packing up fast, walking fast, he studies for tests fast. Hr has never had a problem with procrastination.

He drinks his coffee black.

He hates sugar, hates anything sweet. Dark chocolate is the way to go for him.

He's one of those people that texts with punctuation and proper grammar.

andrew robert “drew” kennedy

3 (almost 4) years later drew was born!!

don't ever call him andrew.

he hates full names. he will call you a nickname even if you don't have one.

he only really calls people by their full names when he's upset at them.

he believes that everyone has one soulmate whether that be romantic or platonic.

life of the party.

reading is his no.1 opp. he physically can't sit still long enough to get past 3 words. same with movies. he has to be strapped down.

he's a people person, he might not be the smartest person but he always knows what to say to make someone feel better.

he has purple-ish eyes (think elizabeth taylor)

his inner child is also his exterior child.

he loves drag races & speeding. (monthly speeding tickets...)

he doesn't really drink but he acts drunks.

he plays baseball :>

he loves horses! he has a horse named Dippy Dawg.

he ignored his problems, and bottles up his feelings.

he needs to be positive 25/8. serious situations make him super uncomfortable.

d1 yapper. nothing can get him to stfu.

sundays are his least favorite day of the week because he tweaks out trying to sit still during the sermons.

he doesn't understand why school is so important. he believes in learning basic math & english and dipping.

he also tells everyone about how young people should party and have fun and start going to school when they get older.

he cant spell to save his life. txting him is like having to decode ancient ruins.

michael thomas “mike” kennedy

another 3 years later mike was born !!

he is the star quarterback of his high school football team, and is also the captain.

he enjoys teasing and pranking Marion but is more cautious with leo and drew.

he has a small scar on his chin from a football accident in middle school.

his favorite foods are hamburgers and steaks.

he has a bad habit of cracking his knuckles and neck.

when he goes to the gym he always makes sure to do 600 curl ups, 300 push ups, 200 pull ups, a trunk lift and back saver sit & reach that are at least 12 inches, and a flexed arm hang for about five minutes

gym bro lmao

kisses the homies gn

he's been banned from two pizza places for starting “accidental” food fights

he pretends not to care about school but always crams the night before a big test and somehow aces the test.

he refuses to take no for an answer when it comes to convincing his friends to join pickup games after school

he text replies are either lightning-fast or hours late, depending on how distracted he is by football or flirting.

he's one of those people that takes PE games seriously

he has a habit of “borrowing” snacks from his siblings without asking and acting surprised when they notice

his idea of dressing up is swapping his hoodie for a polo shirt and calling it fancy

He always insists on driving during family outings—even if everyone else is nervous about his lead foot.

he secretly has a soft spot for family movie nights (as long as it’s an action movie).

he will never say no to a dare, it doesn't matter what it is, he will be doing it

marion aurora evangeline “mari” kennedy

two years later a girl was finally born.

she's literally babied by all her brothers even if they all show it in different ways.

she LOVES the color pink

screenager

she's either the bitchiest or sweetest person there's kind of no in between

she knows everything about everyone. all the tea. all the secrets.

probably most popular girl at her school

she's learning not to hate greasers so much

sweetest tooth ever.

she gets scared easily

don't piss her off she'll be a bitch to u

she's friends with like everyone

knows everyone's birthdays

heh i'll keep hers short n' sweet (yes that's a sabrina ref) bc ill make more posts on her in the future

I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS YAYAYAYAY

[pbaz7]

Currently taking an sat practice test cs I have mine Saturday (gonna kms)

Paige could actually hoop. She wasn’t flashy about it, but she moved with a gracefulness when she had the ball in her hand

- oh so she’s js like that in every life??? Coo.

If Azzi looked at Paige a certain way, that was all it took and well...Azzi was always looking at Paige a certain way

- oh she’s OVERLY going

Paige had a protector’s heart,

- my princess ass loves this shit like yessss walk on the sidewalk closer to the street. Lock the door once I’m in the car then you get in!!!!!

Azzi had just gotten goddess braids for the off season and Paige hadn’t stopped staring at her since.

- not only is Azzi sexy asf but she’s sexy asf w braids toooo like

“You’re the one out here in all black like you don’t know what that does to me.”

- GLAD TO KNOW ITS NOT JS ME CS ALL BLACK IS SOOOOOOOOO UGH 😩😩

Hold up my break almost over gotta cook (get cooked) on this math part. I’m back math part cooked me still BUT I got a higher reading score than I’ve been getting so a win is a win!!

because Azzi was pissy over another woman touching Paige’s arm.

- valid crashout

“Nobody was flirting with me baby.”

- how abt you js say “okay baby” and move on cs as a fem we always right. Or at least im always right.

that they didn’t hear the front door open. They didn’t hear the keys drop in the bowl by the entrance.

- mommy brink

Rickea and Rae stood there completely frozen, their mouths slightly open, Rickea’s eyes scanning Paige’s torso in shock while Rae’s just stayed locked in place.

- Ik rae abt to tell the Alexa in the crib to play “that should be me” by Justin Bieber

but her gaze hadn’t moved away from Paige’s exposed stomach and the way her opened pants hung a little too low on her hips.

- now Azzi gotta beat her ass too but valid?????

Azzi noticed and her jaw tensed, a slight possessiveness burning in her chest as she snatched Paige’s shirt off the counter and tossed it at her aggressively. “Put on a shirt.”

- iktr but I would’ve clocked Rae first idk

“I—I didn’t even realize. That was involuntary, I’m sorry.”

- yeah you better apologize I can sue you

“I ain’t know you were a lil kinky.”

- a little??? that’s subjective but not to them! Wait yall seen that part in sinners where Hailee spit into my man mouth👀👀 write that down write that down

“So what’s the safe word?”

- man I ain’t pussy

Paige’s house that was previously filled with a peacefulness that made her chest feel open was now just loud and ringing in her ears.

- she’s overstimulated get the ppl out her crib NOW

until her dad brought up the fight.

- damnit bob

He waved her off like she didn’t say anything at all, already pulling up the video.

- UGH CS THIS WHY I JUST CANT TOLERATE MEN

“It’s me, baby,

- nobody sent me here, it’s me baby, it’s me

Her voice was quiet, but neither of them realized that the volume in the room dropped completely.

- now this is a pet peeve. When all of a sudden it’s quiet in a room after being loud and I’m in the middle of saying smth i wanted to be private like fuck.

her dad opened his mouth about the fight again

- SHUT UPPPPPO BOB

Man, that’s a different kind of locked in. That’s next-level. Mind of a killer.”

- now she’s gonna go into a hole smh

“I don’t need you to manage my career, I pay somebody for that.”

- she said ur broke now stfu

she saw Paige lying flat on her back in the middle of it with her eyes fixed on the ceiling like she was trying to find answers in her ceiling.

- I’ve done this frequently this year when dance was so shit

Then a knock on the gym door interrupted the moment.

- people learned to knock!!

when the gym doors slammed open with a loud bang.

- nvm

“Unfortunately,” Rae admitted with a small shrug, clearly not proud of it.

- AZZI BEAT HER ASS NOW OR ILL DO IT

Rickea leaned over to Rae, whispering. “Don’t do nothin’ stupid or Azzi gon’ get you.”

- YUP

“Don’t be all touchy.”

- yeah cs she’ll beat ur ass too or worse use the strap on u

“Just making sure you don’t forget I’m here.”

- you’re basically in her I think she knows ur there!

“You’re literally in my spine,” Paige muttered.

- right.

“Ma’am,”

- get her outta Texas. Ik she’s not in Texas in this fic but she needs to leave

“You’n gotta be jealous.”

- Paige a yn in another life. Change my mind, you can’t. (The moment she started talking abt Marvin sapp and Fred Hammond I was like oh she’s black too)

You throwing like you're worried about breaking a nail.”

- you’re sending me the money to get it fixed if I break it?

From the bench Azzi narrowed her eyes. She reached next to her on the bench and grabbed a spare wrap, and threw it at Paige. It thumped against her back.

- YEAHHH CS WATCH OUT PAIGE????

and said something too low for Paige to catch.

- say it with your chest mama

“I said...you’re going to make me forget my name if you keep lookin’ at me like that, daddy.”

- actually let’s keep this a whisper…

“I need y’all to come back tomorrow.”

- just easy. Damn. Ain’t got no act right.

“Please remember I’m staying in the guest room!” Subtly telling them to not be too loud

- acting like they gon be all night 👀

This chapter showed their growth as a couple so well and I really like that

- 🥸

oh so she's js like that in every life??? Coo.

i don’t think there’s any universe where she can’t bounce a ball

oh she's OVERLY going

damn look at y’all basically twins

how abt you js say "okay baby" and move on cs as a fem we always right. Or at least im always right.

you sound like my damn girlfriend 😒. the word “no” doesn’t get processed be her ears or something

a little??? that's subjective but not to them! Wait yall seen that part in sinners where Hailee spit into my man mouth 👀👀 write that down write that down

that was a lil tooo much spit for my liking

I've done this frequently this year when dance was so shit

when life goes to shit the ceiling/sky is your bestfriend

[dbunicorn]

Imagine not comprehending either side, weaponizing children to pursue your own agenda and using your office to break the law. Who is confused?

Take Bernie sanders, Naomi klein

Is it too hard for you to read a book or a journal article? Do you surround yourself with idiots deliberately. Can you explain to me your views on Palestine, BLM, and bankrupting the American people? Can you explain the MATH to me? Explicitly, specifically with details. Could you explain your behavior and neglect every other minority? Just like ndp cannot explain their anti nuclear stance or what they would do with the current power energy generation. Learn to STFU and know when your out of your depth. Your voice is unwanted.

Confused? I fucking loathe incompetence. It irritates me to no fucking end.

Grow up, stupidity must be an intellectual disability like autism, fucking morons

Bernie sanders should have retired years ago,

Acolytes that pay homage to a god that never existed. Imagine having an original idea.

What do young woc say when they do this to other women of color? I'm old? Conservative? Contrarian? Libertarian?

What is your self justification I wonder?

Start singing black and yellow? Run small children off the road? Spit at them?

Since we're all willing to put our honest shit out there without hiding like grown women.

Spit it the fuck out.

Power is far too tempting????

Your opinion is utterly useless to me. It has been for a decade. Now tell me about how you want the world to go vegan and it helps keep you slim while you grow your own food and use power for social media.

You act like children that have no free will. I'm not your fucking mother.

Politicians are such pathetic small stupid people.

5 lies, no truth. Just incompetence.

I don't think the Hilary Clinton's, Michelle Obama's Marjorie Taylor Greens,...are better

But particularly annoying are the fucking Democrats who weaponize everything and turn on a dime when challenged at any level. Show up for no one, certainly not women.

You really have no fucking clue what you're doing or how to be strategic circa 2019.

Oregon is a progressive shithole that's suffering because of idiotic policies of their own making. That doesn't mean the KKK roots there aren't just as awful. Both are useless and unproductive.

You are using this moment for your own agenda to the neglect of real issues and reality.

Single payer healthcare to the tune of 4 trillion? Well played. Weren't you assholes blowing modi for diamonds just a year or two ago? Man you connect the dots...... I'm in awe. You might as well be selling donkey flights on private jets with inflatable mattresses.

Does the green new deal consist of bankruptcy and ceding every research vector? Wow, genius.

What are you going to do, call me out for my misinformation without passing high school science? And then use my ideas? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Holy shit Chandra how many opportunitistic cunts pretending to be feminists can you meet in one lifetime? Freud would have a field day.

Do your fucking jobs

PS we've never met. I'd NEVER let you fucking near anyone I cared about.

I won't be reading the updated version on Capital from Thomas Picketty either, although the French do have a sensible nuclear policy

[hanbindans]

zerobaseone as IB students (headcanons)

some fun headcanons for my fellow students. please take these with a grain of salt, obviously I don't know them personally and these are just meant to be fun :) word count: 1.1 k (ca 140 for each) a/n: this is for a very niche target audience but it makes sense in MY head. also I have exams in less than 2 weeks so this is kind of representative of where my mind is at rn. and PSA if you're also an IB student please don't actually skip TOK <3

jiwoong

what's that?? "he's a 24 year old man, it's been years since he completed high school??" sorry I can't hear you too well I'll just go ahead and write this headcanon anyway <3

he's such a drama kid and he would take it even in IB, so theatre and korean lit would be his HLs

I feel like he would take bio and psych sl purely out of curiosity and then immediately regret it when he realizes how much content there is (but would be really good at psych)

aa sl!!! no particular reason tbh I just think he's kind of smart

doesn't understand tok. like...... at ALL. is saved by the fact that his psychology EE is pretty good because he pretty much flunks tok miserably

CAS defender because "guys it builds character I think it's great that we all do volunteer work :))" bless his heart

hanbin

7 subjects :)

is good at tok probably

genuinely puts SO much time and effort into his cas and regrets it in the end but it looks cool on his resumé

psychology and korean lit HL, probably takes VA too but maybe as sl. he gives such lit vibes I feel like he would totally be a literature kid

chinese ab!!!! and maybe ESS because he can and doesn't like science <3

AI SL just because he's so social science but he gets 6s and 7s because it's too easy for him <3

basically he's all the social science subjects but because they're FUN not because they're easy :)

shares notes and study resources in the class group chat because he's cool like that

zhang hao

science kid

HL math AA, geography, and maybe chem or bio. maybe takes physics SL too.

definitely chinese lang/lit and korean ab (he could definitely do korean B but he can't be bothered)

you won't catch him anywhere without a comically large energy drink

completely numbed on the inside but also puts more effort in than everyone else and gets straight 7's

skips tok though because he can't be asked

does his EE on a very niche obsession of his and it gets a really good grade but he puts way too much effort into it

everyone wants to learn his ways but he doesn't do study groups because he gets too annoyed lmao. WILL tell juniors chatting in the library to stfu

he will complain about anything and everything any chance he gets but also catch him getting that 45 at the end of the day.

taerae

also science kid but a lot less intense

HL bio, chem, music, SL AA, korean lang/lit and japanese ab

he would complain SO MUCH about group 2 btw he's one of those science kids who really doesn't want to do 2 languages lol

really only cares about music to be honest but does the sciencey subjects because he thinks they're cool and gets pretty good grades

the type to do a hyper specific science IA and spend way too much time on it just for shits and giggles because he likes pouring things into beakers and swirling them

unintentionally does the most for his CAS, like "oh a service??? yeah I've been tutoring guitar for like 6 months does that count" and genuinely fails to see how other people struggle with it

also excells at tok, like genuinely writes an amazing philosophical TOK essay and gets full marks

ironically cares so little about IB but somehow does so well because he genuinely likes his subjects (and has an iq of like 150)

matthew

7 subjects :)

wants to do more languages than he's allowed because he's just built like that, he likes flexing his multilingualism

HL english lang/lit, french B, history. SL AA, bio, chem, psych

is annoyingly good at all his subjects like HOW are you doing all that and remembering everything?? secretly kind of a genius

does the mostest for his IAs for absolutely no reason other than he's just interested in his subjects and wants to do fun projects :)

also genuinely likes CAS for the same reason (play sports feed stray cats, what's not to like?)

super ambitious classmate who is somehow the only one still sane and always happy

encourages everyone before tests and exams like "come on guys we can do it!! :)"

ricky

this is more likely than you think like do you know how many rich international kids do IB??? in an alternate reality he's M23

visual art HL <33

probably business management HL too, but I could see him doing psych as well!! I think he'd enjoy the human relationships option

chinese lang/lit and english B because why do a bilingual diploma and struggle when you could just breeze through english B?????

AI and ESS sl because he cba, he just wants to pass fr.

to be honest he only really cares about visual art (does his EE in it and regrets it every day) and his social science a liiittle bit, other than that he's just doing exactly as much as he needs to pass

super chill classmate though like all IB kids need a Ricky in their class to humble our god complexes

gyubin

IB but because he's an exchange student :') like he didn't even know what IB was when he started it

cramming the night before tests because he can't be asked to dedicate his whole life to studying

actually the nicest classmate though

eng b HL and breezes through it

ESS and AI sl together with ricky (they sit in the back of the class and snack together <3)

also like business management/psychology or something equivalent but he's REALLY good at it and gets easy 7's?? like he will be that 1 kid who has that 1 subject that he's an absolute god at

cries every tok lesson but it's alright

favourite part is ironically CAS because he has an excuse to volunteer at dog shelters and play basketball with his friends :)

gunwook

peak IB child I bet he would take this programme for real

4 hls (economics, psychology, korean lang lit, chemistry)

I have no justification for these subjects btw I just spat out 4 that I think he would take. he definitely would do 4 HLs though because that's how he rolls

ALSO takes cas very seriously for absolutely no reason

also takes tok SUPER seriously- he will lead class discussions and get into heated debates about stupid shit like if newspeak would work in real life

AA sl and japanese ab because that's just his vibes

kind of overworked but is always helpful and shares notes with his classmates :)

does his EE in economics and ends up getting way too invested in it and becomes obsessed with economic development policies or something niche like that (nerd but affectionately <3)

very stressed and overworked but he WILL get those grades at the end of the day <33

[softluci]

aggressive affection, i think

(part two here!)

[ @yourlocalsinnamonroll​ (hi!) sent me an ask to do more gen z headcanons and i started working on something for her, except it isn’t actually a set of headcanons, but rather a really long...one-shot? but anyway, i thought of actual headcanons that i can share now, so i can return to my ROOTS hopefully this will do in the meantime. ]

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth.

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

lucifer

“blindsided,” does not even begin to describe what you’ve done to this man. while his recovery time was quick, he was still so, so confused. 

all he said was, “you look nice today,” why did you threaten to kiss him? was that even a threat? 

he doesn’t know because you said, “stop before you get kissed on the mouth,” but it doesn’t matter because you failed to consider that he is obsessed with you in dire need of a kiss on the mouth, and you, silly thing that you are, just provided conditions under which he can get one. 

that said, have fun trying to explain to this man that you were joking while he’s holding you against him with the most smug look on his dumb little face. if you don’t wanna kiss him, okay, but by the time he feels like letting you go, your face is gonna be scorching and you will have properly learned not to do that again. unless you enjoyed yourself, in which case—

by the way, if you believe in a higher power, you had better pray he doesn’t do this to you because now that you’ve planted the idea in his villainous little brain, he’s just biding his time. so the next time you compliment him innocently, and he says, “be quiet before i kiss you,” like the monster he is, assert your dominance by kissing him first, it’s the only way to maintain your dignity. 

mammon

why would you do that to him. he is literally in love with you, you can’t be doing this. he knows he’s an attractive person, but you can’t tell him that, and you especially can’t do it by flirting with him, it’s embarrassingly disarming. especially since he was going to make fun of you once he saw that you were looking at the issue of majolish with him on the cover. he had a plan and everything, and you ruined it. he was gonna say something dumb cool, after which you would be embarrassed , and he would laugh. 

but then you looked at him, said, “i’m gonna eat you,” and his entire plan was thwarted. now you have to stand there and watch him struggle to form a sentence while his face gets red. you should take this opportunity to bite him, give him a little nom on the shoulder or something, just to razz him. it’ll be great, i promise. 

luckily, he can’t even think about doing this to you without having to lie down, so you should be safe—unless, of course, he catches both you and himself by surprise. so if you get nommed on, you had it coming. 

levi 

you menace. you absolute villain. you’re laughing. 

levi was about to go into a match he was nervous about, and then you said, “it’s okay, no matter what happens, i will always wanna make out with you,” and then he dropped his controller and blacked out, and you’re laughing. 

you’re terrible. absolutely awful. acquaint yourself with shame while you blow cool air into his face and shake him awake. 

when he does wake up, and he reminds you that he’s the avatar of envy, do nawt be surprised. 

try to explain to him that you were kidding and let it slip that you say these types of things to everyone and you’re getting a tail around your waist. no matter how much he might stutter while he makes his point, the fact remains that he’s the only one you’re allowed to say these things to now. you can do it to the others while he’s not around if you feel so inclined, but he’s going to find out eventually, so good luck explaining yourself while he doesn’t keep his tail still when he uses it to hold you in place. 

your only saving grace here is that he is physically incapable of doing it to you, but, you know. that probably gets overridden by how possessive he’s gonna get.

satan

you’re deranged. or just really confident. or a fool. it doesn’t matter, you fucked up. he said a normal thing, and then you threw him for a loop. 

you were nervous about an exam the next day, he said, “you’re a capable person, you have nothing to be worried about.” 

and then you, evidently forgetting that he is not one of your human friends, said, “flattery will get you made out with,” and tried to walk away. 

first of all, how was that flattery? he was stating a fact. second of all, who said he didn’t wanna make out with you🤨. he never said that, you are making assumptions about him and his character. 

anyway, he has no idea where you think you’re going, but you didn’t make it very far before he caught up to you anyway. 

when he repeats what you said back to you in the form of a question, with that deceptively polite look on his face, know that he is being rhetorical. do not bother trying to explain yourself, it’ll be difficult to do so in a convincing manner while he’s backing you up to the nearest wall. do not be surprised when he takes this opportunity to blindside you with praise, directly into your ear, with that fatally smooth voice of his. and do NAWT be surprised when he pulls back and says, “why am i not being made out with?” with a dumb little smile. it brings him a lot of joy to see you squirm.

you don’t even have a saving grace here. this man is ruthless, he’s gonna do this to you literally whenever he wants, and he won’t even let you look away, let alone run away, so find joy in the monster you have created. 

asmo

listen. unless you are genuinely empty headed, there is absolutely no way you did this on accident. 

he wasn’t even doing anything out of character either, it was the middle of self-care night, he was putting moisturizer on your face for you, and he went, “you’re even cuter up close,” which is a normal, tame thing for him to say.

so unless you just have uncontrollable knee-jerk reactions, no way did you say, “so make out with me then,” to this man, by accident.

you’re lucky he has some knowledge of the fact that you sometimes say things that aren’t smart, so he didn’t just immediately jump on you; however, you are by no means in the Clear. 

you blinked and he was nose to nose with you and basically in your lap. now you have to deal with his wandering hands while you try and explain yourself—that is, if you can even overcome how flustered you are, which you probably can’t. luckily, he knows you probably didn’t mean it, but he’s still asmo, so he takes it upon himself to be respectfully heinous like the gentleman he is.

so when he somehow manages to get even closer to you and says, “honey, you should really get a handle on those impulses of yours, unless you plan on following through,” like the bastard he is, know that from that point forward, whatever happens is on you. 

here is another man with whom you have no saving grace; now that you’ve given him the idea that he can be more explicit with you,,, well.

beel

you’re a heathen. why would you do something like this. well, you know what, maybe you aren’t that much of a heathen, considering that you did bake cookies for him. that was really sweet of you, so he thanked you and complimented your skill, like a regular person.

so why, exactly, did you say, “i only accept thanks in the form of kisses, preferably with tongue,” ? something is genuinely not right with you. 

now you have this man standing there, confused and red in the face. he’s trying to do the math, and nothing is adding up. like, it’s definitely doable, he can definitely do that, but, like, why would you make this request so suddenly?

this is probably the only instance in which you can coherently say, “i was kidding, you don’t actually have to do that,” and it almost doesn’t work. 

you absolutely should not have been leaning against the counter because now he’s standing in front of you, and you have nowhere to run. 

however, the thing about beel is that he is someone who flusters people without meaning to, so he has no idea of the effect that his, “are you sure?” has on you. 

luckily, you’re still mostly coherent because you know that beel isn’t heinous like his brothers, so you manage to tell him that he doesn’t have to kiss you if he doesn’t want to because you were kidding. 

you have every right to be surprised when, all of a sudden, you’re sitting on the counter, and he says, “why do you think i don’t want to?” 

do you have a saving grace with this man? kind of. he would never say what you said or something similar, but the next time he compliments you and you choose to be normal and say, “thank you,” he’s gonna ask if he should kiss you, so try not to collapse.

belphie

now. he isn’t the Worst Person you could’ve done this with. but by god you are out of your mind.

your first mistake was choosing to lie down next to him, not because you had plans to be a menace, but because he is always a menace and has a thing for reminding you, which he can do more easily when you’re in proximity to him. 

so when he said, out of nowhere, “are you ticklish?” you should’ve just rolled away, which wouldn’t have worked, but it would have been less chaotic then saying, “you are legally required to make out with me before you try and find out.” 

you said it so casually that he was almost stunned into staying still, but his recovery time was excellent.

the next thing you knew, you were laying underneath a very smug, very menacing man, who seemed entirely too prepared to listen to what you had to say for once. 

“legally?”

okay, so, maybe you should’ve chosen your words more carefully, but he was seconds away from tickling you, so you didn’t exactly have time to defend yourself. you can never backtrack with belphie anyway, so it makes sense that you went headlong into your claim, telling him that yes, this is, in fact, the law of the land. 

“i was never one to pay attention to the law, but since you’re being so insistent, i guess i don’t really have a choice—”

leave it to him to pretend like you’re a burden as if he isn’t literally head over heels in love with you like everyone else fond of you. bastard. 

there is absolutely nothing to save you from this man. he isn’t tactful enough to wait for an opportunity to do this to you, like satan or lucifer, so expect to be Just Sitting There when he tells you that you’re required to make out with him right this instant—it’s the law. 

[li272]

Putting the things i wanna talk abt bc no one wants to talk shit w me.

If you wanna talk shit w me on discord or insta here

Discord : Yoshoa#9318

Insta: pr3tty.when_i_cry

(i use a priv acc bc like there are too many creeps in the internet man)

so quirky so edgy 🤭‼️

Ne way: the tea scene 1 act 1

So we had our exams today we had math first and i was kinda struggling and all bc like girl i did not study for shit so i solved that hoe in my own way but i was thirsty and like i didn't really drink water bc i fel quirky and decided to get sparkling sakura flavored water instead. Anyway i passed my paper early and then my teacher said that it was all so wrong but like honestly, idc what's important is that i answered it through and through. She said i answered it wrong and like girl stfu if u rlly wanted us to learn how abt not bw absent for like a week and actually explain it to us 🤨.

Scene 2 act 2

A hours after that it was time for another exam and bc i finish the previous one early i went outside to not distract my other classmates who were still doing their shir and all. Ne way i went outside and saw the whore that always calls me cringe even though ironically their literally the most cringe one in the classroom and the bitch who's fr trying too hard to be a copy of me bye. She was bragging of how she went to this event sumwhere and like yeah okay but like she was trying so hard to copy my accent and all like bro .. pls stop it's so cringe 😭😭. Anyway she then starts talking abt the guy who she knows that lives in la like it's the first time she'd seen sum1 that lives that lives there. Im so done im crying cars. Personal opinion: Ppl from LA are one of the worst kinds of America you can ever meet in your life.

[lostbbygorl]

THE GENERAL AND ULTIMATE MODERN AU EREN YEAGER HEADCANON POST:

✨ Oooohh boy..... Eren Yeager

✨ In this post, I'll be discussing Eren as a child and Eren as the 19-year-old Chad we now know him as

✨ Okay, so Eren as a child

✨ WHERE TF DID HE GET THAT RAGE?

✨ Everyday he wakes up looking like an angry gremlin and he growls at people saying hi to him in the hallways

✨ The elementary school teachers genuinely like him and they know deep down he's a very sweet boy but KIDDO PLS GET YOUR HANDS OFF LIL TIMMY'S NECK AND DO YOUR MATHS MANIA MULTIPLICATION WORKSHEET HE DIDN'T MEAN TO DROP YOUR FAVORITE ERASER

✨ Mikasa and Armin were the only people who could calm him down

✨ You know that one kid who gets sent outta the classroom every week? And like teachers always call said kid's parents for a meeting? Eren is that kid

✨ At first, a very disappointed Grisha went to the meetings, and then neither parent went cuz they were too busy, and then Carla always went. By "too busy" I mean having yelling matches and digging up old bones and then storming off like toddlers. That was the hardest part of Eren's life

✨ A lot of Eren's rage came from his parent's crumbling marriage and he missed his dad but MY GOD he was relieved when Grisha left them. Eren has a soft spot deep down for him, but he's gonna break a damn wall if he sees Grisha again, and near his mom

✨ Eren's behavior improves at the start of middle school though. He's still not to be fucked with and lowkey terrifies the teachers, but he's much more amiable

✨ Eren's grades also improve in middle school. He finds more motivation and his study routine is shite but atleast he's putting more effort. Speaking of grades, he always scores 100% in PE

✨ Eren was always the fastest runner and even though he isn't super passionate about sports, he's competitive

✨ I feel like Eren would sometimes do sports for fun, but his main interests lie in martial arts. I hc he learns karate or judo or smth and get numerous degrees in it throughout the years

✨ Eren is popular despite being a hardass. He still gets clowned doe

✨ PLENTY OF FUCKING INJURIES AND BRUISES

✨ Now onto college Eren with the long hair and dem abs

✨ He's chill for the most part ig, still scary doe

✨ He gets daily reminders from Mikasa and Armin to study and that's the only reason he passes

✨ I feel like he'd take the same classes as his friends and be nonchalant about college but then get interest in his subject and find it's his passion

✨ "Woah", Eren doing a perfect Gabbie Hannah impression at 3 AM after realizing how much his major means to him

✨ Eren's handwriting is messy but readable. Hw takes notes on random pieces of paper and random notebooks so the night before the exams he's turning the house down looking for that half ripped sticky note

✨ But I mean the grade is good so he won't stop the bad practice

✨ 9/10 times Eren is the veteran face showing new college students around the campus. Him and Jean actually

✨ In a modern world, Eren and Jean are frenemies becuz Eren finds him annoying. They have roast battles and even rap battles. Eren tells Jean to stfu if he even breathes

✨ Eren goes to bed at 2 and he actually tries to fix his sleeping schedule but then Jean sends him game invites and he's just MAD

✨ Sasha and Connie throw parties every weekend and you best believe Jean and Eren are in the convenience stores getting snacks and then tampons to make a tampon princess castle tgt later on

✨ Eren is the friend who has a nice ass car. He picks ppl up and drops them off everyday

✨ He LOVES going on late night rides with his peeps

✨ ESPECIALLY Mikasa 😳

✨ Eren is head over heels for Mikasa and Mikasa is the same and their mutual pining is so fucking embarrassing atp

✨ Eren is one of those ppl who are scared of love so the intensity of his feelings for Mikasa scare him so when he's hanging out he's like

" Mikasa looks pretty I wanna hold her hand. Welp, time to fuck or beat one out"

✨ Eren is defo popular among the ladies but he isn't flirty, he's just polite. He isn't a fboi despite what other writers say

✨ He does like hookups doe. He'll back off if a gal aint interested doe

✨ Eren also seems like a tattoo kinda guy. He has one of an eagle on his neck and his initials on his back

✨ Idk why but he rubs me as the type of dude who'd be friends with kids. Like 1 or 2. Namely, Gabi and Falco

✨ Eren goes to Paradis college and FalBi go to Paradis middle school. They used the college performing hall for a play and Eren volunteered to help prepare the stage to get out of classes. That's when he met a sweet, quiet Falco and a hyper, feral Gabi. He was amused by their interactions and got nostalgic seeing them tbh cuz he remembered his elementary days with Armin

✨ Gabi was trying to rope Falco in for another one of her dangerous plans and Falco ultimately caved

" Let's sleepover in this hall tonight. Our parents are out and I bought all the stuff we need"

" What? That's crazy! What if we get caught?"

" Come of, Falco. Pleeaaassseee?"

" Fine, but it's on you if we get in trouble"

✨ " Kid with the ponytail, that's a crazy plan but Imma cover for you", said Eren joining in

✨ They've been talking ever since and when Eren realized Gabi is Reiner's fave and closest cousin, they became closer

✨ Overall, Eren is a loveable dude despite being a bit chaotic

[robinw00d]

PJO characters as things I heard In my school👐

Jason, *looking at solangelo*: OMG they're the most beautiful thing in the history of the world and of the universe in the hole earth thanks God I can see them togheter

--

Grover @annie, talking about percy: please I hear he talking about you everyday in the last three years, ask him on a date or something I'm so tired

--

Hunters: EW A MAN

--

Annabeth: you're wrong, its 324 and not 334

Leo: YOU are wrong, of course its 334, right piper?

Piper:

Piper: man idk i got 764

(At the end, piper was suprisingly the right one)

--

The whole gang:*putting LGBT+ little paper flags everywhere* DID YOU HEARD THAT?? IS A HOMOPHOBIC CRYING!

--

Percy @octavian: oh, you're here:( that makes me sad

--

Nico: (just joking) that's homophobic

Jason: it is?? IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO-

--

Hazel: AaAaAaAa WHY IS MATH SO CONFUSING

--

(Text messages)

Leo: Jason ghosted me and now I have deprecion

Frank:"deprecion" is you writing it with a c and not two "s"

--

Will:

Will: what if glitter is the straight cure

Nico: I like it, its true

--

Leo: "Nico" is such a straight person name

Nico: ??? HOW DARE U STFU

--

Frank: guys, I wanted you to know... I'm trans

Jason: so is everyone here

--

Percy: idk sometimes I just fell so sad

Nico: that sound like your problem

--

Percy: so.. you know (name of a really bad president of my contry in the 90's) that we're learning about on history?

Percy: I told my mom about him and she told me to wash my mouth and that she didnt wanted "bad words" at home

--

Piper: do you se that girl right there? She's gay

Leo: ??? How do you know

Piper: 🌠GAYDAR🌠

[shoukohime]

jujutsu kaisen headcanons because I'm soft and they live in my head rent free

- gojou and yuuji's favourite past time activity is learning tiktok dances. nobara joins in. megumi suffers.

- getou (who is alive and well and not a villain) walks in on gojou reading bedtime stories to the first years. "how did you end up being a single dad to three teenagers?" he asks

- gojou, who's not single in this scenario: "wouldn't that make you their 2nd dad?😙"

- yuuji, megumi and nobara retching in the background because ew our parents are flirting??

- nanami retires at 27 and builds a house in malaysia, kuantan, on a secluded beach to catch up with all the books he's bought but never got around to read 🥰

- yuuji exclusively listens to female pop artists. He knows all Nicki Minaj songs by heart and when kesha had her comeback with praying he couldn't stop crying for 2 hours straight

- kugisaki once challenged him to a superbass rap battle and never recovered

- when asked about his current concerns, megumi vaguely points to yuuji singing WAP all day

- don't leave maki unsupervised. "yuuta is overseas so while he's gone I'm gonna collect all buttons I can find in this house and store them in a box" "wtf why" "he's basically 85% of my impulse control"

- cue next day everyone waking up to the buttons on their school uniforms being torn off and missing

- while the 2nd years are pros at inumaki-language, the 1st years are still trying to decode his words. so far, they know "salmon" means "yes" and "avocado cream cheese" means "stfu you dumb ass bitch"

- none of the 1st years are fully functional human beings. imagine broke college students but worse. they're unsupervised high schoolers. megumi has lived with gojo half of his life. nobara never helped with the chores at home. yuuji is a domestic wreck. The dishes pile in the kitchen, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in 3 weeks, you literally can't step into a room without sth breaking under your foot, Obama is there

- gojo: I raised you better than this wtf

- megumi figures out a way to manipulate the others into doing basic chores for him. "kugisaki, have you done the maths homework already?" "shut up and do them yourself" "I'll let you cuddle with my shadow dogs later" "maths homework coming right up!"

- yuuji: "hey man it's your turn to wash the dishes" "I can summon the bunnies for you" "oh wait, it's my turn to do the dishes"

- since inumaki can't speak much, he's a pro at texting and a closet memer. when maki rages over inumaki spamming the group chat, he simply sends "mum pick me up i'm scared"

- mai and todo fight over who gets to marry taka-chan later. mai wins.

- shoko is the teacher to go to when you want to talk, have concerns or need life advice because gojo will simply laugh in your face over your mortal, little problems. "cramps? I'll get you pain meds and make you hot cocoa real quick", "you think you might be bisexual? that's great. thank you for telling me." & "please do not cut off your shirt sleeves, yuta won't be overseas for much longer"

[happystawberry]

Rick and Morty fan™ , “gifted kid” and high IQ

I’m angry as usual but no Jean-Claude, watching and understanding Rick and Morty doesn't mean you have a high IQ.

I keep seing that meme where someone explain that, in order to understand Rick and Morty, they have a high IQ. Thats fucking b*llshit.

I will add that having a high IQ (>130) isn’t a cool things and that people get the wrong idea because of bad tropes of the “genius-child-with-a-high-IQ-OMG-they-can-do-math-at-3-y/o″ in movie, books, serie etc...

Just like many people have a false idea of what been on the autism spectrum really is like, most people things that having a high IQ mean that you’re a genius...They’re also dumb and ignorant af.

I know i will pass as a f*cking annoying person but i don’t care so : Stop. Making. Joke. About. Having. A. High. IQ.

It’s just as offensive as those OCD jokes (i got both an high IQ and OCD so stfu) or Anorexia jokes or Depression jokes. Why ? Because (and i'm not saying that those horrible mental illness are comparable to having a high IQ, I'm sayin that mocking the existence of those concerned by them is just as bad) you are invalidating a part of whole a*s person by using it in one of your stupid and unfunny joke.

Just because it is seem as good things (and wtf) in our society doesn’t mean it’s actually a good things.

It affect a lot of people (between 2 and 3% of the world population) and i'm tired of seeing everybody romanticizing it.

Stop thinking it’s cool, it’s not. It affect your daily life, keep you from making a lot of relation, make you feel like a weirdo, affect your school works most of the time in a bad way, 10% to 30% of kids with a high IQ have psychological and comportemental troubles, most of them are bullied, it cause hyperstemia, anxiety, depression, ED etc... It.Is.Not.Cool.

I’m tired of seeing people on tiktok talking about how they where a “gifted kid’. No, you where not. That is a term mainly use by people living in the U.S.A to call academically talented children. When i learned english and did research about how to call a person with a high IQ the term “gifted” came again. Gifted kids should be what we call child who passed an IQ test and get a result superior then 130 not Emy who used to get A in middle school.

There is barely any GIFTED community anywhere because other people like Amy or like a “Rick and Morty fan”™ (and any person who does this IQ  joke) steal what should been OUR space to talk.

I’m sick of both of them. We aren’t many but we still exist. Stop romantizing being GIFTED. Give us a place in the neurodivergent community and fucking let us in peace. We aren’t your meme or whatever. I’m tired of seeing kid being insulte in a comment section because they just say a fact about them that apparently make them a assh*ole who believe their better than everyone.

Go educate yourself and for the love of God, go learn to make actual joke.

[sofijaeger]

so i took my psats today and lemme tell you...

IT SUCKED ASS

i sat for four hours reading about bumblebees and ravens, for what? to most likely receive a three-digit number as my score😫

And it didn’t help that I thought about:

HOW THE AOT FAM TAKES BIG > TESTS <

| modern, high school au |

eren. would be completely out of the zone from the start. Waking up early only to sit still for hours, on top of trying to complete questions within restrictions of time gets him so frustrated. How can he answer the questions when he’s forced to read page-long excerpts in less than a minute? He thinks the tests are absolutely ridiculous (and used these reasons to back up his real excuse of never knowing there was a prep course).

jean. To be fair, he did try at the beginning, and understood a good amount of the questions, but his brain couldn’t separate math and calculator, so by the start of the third section he was a goner. Probably watched the PSAT cheats and tricks on tik tok for prep, and by the end he just randomly bubbled answers in hopes the majority of them would be right.

armin. Let’s all think logically here and say that armin prepped before it was even mentioned at school, and he plugged his scores into his early college account from the previous years so it was ✨personalized✨ for his advanced learning capabilities. He still didn’t enjoy sitting in his seat for so long, and became fatigued quickly. Mom and Pap’s were most likely the main source of pressure, and he studied so much the poor baby didn’t see his friends for weeks:( Besides that, it’s safe to say he’s winning a National Merit Scholarship😌🏆

mikasa. I see her being such a great student and making very little mistakes, but those small slip ups can affect a lot and IT BOTHERS HER. Can she answer all the questions? with pin-point accuracy, but she’s completely unaware of time management, and she’ll be bubbling her answer into question 9 out of 36 at the ‘10 minutes left’ mark. Lowkey gets pissed in the last few sections and might even bubble random answers if she must.

Reiner. The poor dude has so much potential, and is a very academically and athletically inclined student, but cannot function in silence no matter how hard he tries. Something about hearing his own thoughts gets the best of his anxiety, and he probably shakes his leg like a motor engine or uses his #2 pencils to become the lead drummer in a rock band to think out each questions. Every, single, one. Everyone continuously tells him to stfu.

Historia. she also prepped for the test, but not as much as armin because she has to keep her social life in check too. Was definitely prepared for the test until she got there, because she wore a light blouse or something and forgot that testing rooms are ALWAYS cold. (idk man it’s the algorithm). bb was shivering the whole time and could barely focus

Ymir. Who the fuck put ymir at the opposite side of the classroom as Historia. Ymir couldn’t really care less about the test, but actually tried until she heard tiny teeth chattering from the other side of the room. She was so pissed the entire time watching her poor girl freeze, and she would’ve gotten up and given her, her jacket if it werent for Levi sitting at the desk right next to her.

Levi. HAH he’s the supervisor. Mainly because he’s the only person who manages to shut the entire class up, yet he seemed very content knowing he could receive a peaceful quietness for a few hours. His eyebrows even unfurrowed for the first time in well, forever. I know y’all would think he did exceptionally well, but this dude didn’t give one shit back when he was in high school. (Still managed to snag a decent score bc he’s god-like🙄🤚🏼)

Sasha. Academic wise she did quite well, and didn’t stress in either subject bc she’s pretty smart, she just won’t admit it. But when this girl realized she couldn’t touch her snacks for 4 freaking hours she threw a fit. Had a whole thanksgiving meal before she got to school, and kept fidgeting in her seat to make her tummy grumbles go away. (they never went away).

connie. he assumed it wasn’t mandatory and didn’t show up to school for his freashman practice. He slept through his sophomore one too. By Junior year though he wanted to take it more seriously and tried asking teachers and friends around for help, but since covid rolled around, it wasn’t mandatory anymore. Babes never signed up and has still yet to take it😩.

I might do a part two, so let me know if you’d like that!!

[dorigvbcorvis]

I feel so incredibly used, roped in, ambushed and finally picked apart like I was in some Lord of the Flies tribal warfare and I am Piggy and my shell has just exploded. My crime? I placed an angry emoji on a a thread started with a meme that said "Kurtofski is endgame"

I did as a final act before unfollowing a "Glee Fan Fiction FB Channel". I thought that's all I had to do. But then yesterday a mod invited me to answer why I felt the way I do. I obliged her and said I didn't understand why anyone who ship two people so ill suited I said that Karofski is woefully ignorant racist thug who thinks it is okay to push around girls half his size. That was my reason but more to the point I said bullies like him are seldom redeemable unless they receive anger management...that unless they do they go on to commit crimes at higher rates than those who were never bullied. I said bullies are more likely to use violence as both a coping mechanism but also as conflict resolution. In short they are people no one should want to be around.

Shipping Kurtofsky made little sense

Whatever the reason I suggested there might be racist component because the same crowd wants anybody not Blaine

Sebastian Karofski Adam Elliot even Rachel what do all these characters have in common...They are all white

But it is worse because nearly all are also vile.

Sebastian and Karofski are both abusive racist thugs...

Adam is a nice guy but he is as boring as observing the oxidation process of liquid pigment applied to vertical substrates

Elliot also nice guy but a better friend than a boyfriend.

Rachel even if we get past being the wrong sex she is a egotistical narcissistic racist bitch.

Blaine is the right sex he is not a thug, he is kind, and thoughtful so what is there left?

He is half Asian?

And so I have wondered why it seemed people were desperate to ship Kurt with anybody but Blaine

Why we can look past toxic qualities and I keep coming back to race as possible reason but I am an Apistevist so I am not firm on this and I use unafirming language like it seems this way or it might be this way

I also said Karofski was woefully ignorant

But my words were strawmanned into the mod thinking I was calling her stupid, desperate, and a racist

So I reiterate back how this was a strawman fallacy

I didn't call her stupid, desperate, or a racist

I said I didn't even say Karofsky was stupid I said ignorant

So the mod administrator says Karofski can't be ignorant his father said he got good grades and he took Calculus

I said Karofsky said he was "going to calculus" he didn't say why he was going or even if he was taking Calculus. For all we know he could had some body else who needed to be escorted to class

Again I said ignorance is not the same as being stupid. It is about the knowledge and learning or lack there of, of a curtain subject

I restate how Kurt and Karofski are ill suited for each Kurt has all these interest that Karofski doesn't have nor does he ever want to have in that sense Karofski is the purest form of ignorance in that he wishes to ignore these things.

Imagine loving someone but then having nothing to love if you have zero in common

I also mention as a side note how Karofski could not possibly have been taking Calculus. This is because he was in remedial math in 10 grade and same year carried a Pre Algebra textbook in the episode called Bad Reputation

••••

I was invited to share my opinion I was honest I share something deeply persona about how I was bullied both at school as a child and at home by some I knew who used a unloaded gun to rape me over a span of many years. These two incidents are forever interconnected The trauma at home led to Complex PTSD, Bulimia, a stuttering problem, I also sucked my thumb for emotional comfort, and I wet my bed until an age 11 I only stopped when I was strong enough to move a big dresser in front of my bedroom door and smart enough to put a wedges in the windows to prevent it from being opened from the outside ....At age 11 I took care of myself because my parents didn't want to admit their son was racist asshole thug. This home trauma made me a trouble emotional kid I was bullied for all of it ...And yes I have since gotten help - So thanks but no thanks to all the new Glee Fan Fiction FB recommendations who can now all collectively stfu...because the problem isn't me. The problem is the perception we have of bullies. Some want to write them off like what they are and do are just a facts of life. In the immortal words of Chris Colfer who is just so apt in this moment but screw that. If those at Glee Fan Fiction FB Group can't see bullies for who they are - who will have their backs when they are bullied?....As for Glee Fan Fiction channel on Facebook who took more than a pound of flesh from me today...maybe it was naive of me to think I was only being invited to state my reason...and that once said I could back out the way I came... I mean I had already unfollowed the channel.

But also true maybe they now have to ask themselves if the mod has to secretly invited all these other friends of hers to join her using her IM so I didn't see this was going on behind the scenes... maybe they should be asking themselves why if this position that well grounded and the character of Karofski was such the up standing guy/such a decent young man and epitome of the kind you take home to meet mom...well then why does one need help taking turns taking pop shots at someone who disagrees???. I guess in an ironic sense another mystery piece of why this crowd people who like Karofsky and why they can relate to a bully and a thug is that they are bullies themselves

[softluci]

aggressive affection (round two!)

[ part two of this, with the now dateables. guess which one(s) i have a crush on—i am actually so embarrassed because i'm getting shy trying to write this, but it's a must that i put this into the universe. if you want to read this first, rather than the one with the brothers, here is the preface: ] 

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth. 

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

dia

you—why did you—look. 

dia is a very nice, social guy; very smiley, you guys get along great, that's great! 

he is still very much a demon (the prince of them, in fact)  and very much not one of your friends from the human world, no matter how much he wants you to treat him as such. 

you should've known better. 

he'd invited you to the castle for tea and a nice chat—a regular occurrence between the two of you so that he could see how you were doing, how the program was going, talk about lucifer, play catch up; nothing out of the ordinary. 

he complimented you on your performance thus far, telling you about how well you've done—which was just standard kindness—so would you like to explain to the class why your immediate response was, “so kiss me then,” ? 

he was totally fine with it, but he was also very confused, so it was only fair that he pulled you into his lap to get a better understanding of what you meant. if you do the math, it adds up, i swear. 

luckily, you don’t even have to explain yourself with this one because it seems like he already knows. this is good because, given his proximity to you at that moment, you wouldn’t have done a good job explaining yourself anyway. 

“is this how you talk to your human friends?” 

it was a simple question, with a simple answer, it’s just that you were nose-to-nose, and his eyes were hooded all of a sudden and his hand was cupping the side of your face so, naturally, you had some difficulty forming words—fortunately, you managed to nod instead of embarrassing yourself by trying to talk. 

“and do they ever do what you ask?” 

again, it would’ve been foolish of you to try and speak, so you just shook your head. you were doing a surprisingly nice job of maintaining your dignity, well done! this is nice compensation for the fact that you seemed to forget you were dealing with the demon of demons, but he was kind enough to remind you—

“well, i’m not one of them, so i’ll do as you say. you don’t mind, right?” 

do you have a saving grace with this man? meh. he doesn’t want to do anything in front of the others, but he can literally go somewhere private with you under the guise of wanting to talk. it’s not like anyone is gonna tell him he can’t. 

barbatos

you don’t make any sense. you watched black butler know that he’s the scariest person in the devildom, why did you think you could do this? he might be a menace not too far underneath that professional exterior, but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck around and find out. or maybe that’s exactly what that means. 

all he did was bring you tea. he saw you sitting in the castle’s library doing schoolwork—dia offered to let you study there to enjoy some quiet that you wouldn’t have gotten at the house, and because you aren’t one to forgo such a kind gesture, you accepted. 

he set it down on the table in front of you, much to your surprise. 

“oh, thank you! you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him from your seat. 

“nonsense,” he started, smiling softly, “you’ve been working hard.”

you, for whatever reason, took this as an opportunity to pretend barbatos was one of your human friends. 

“you shouldn’t say that unless—” 

that’s all he let you say. what you were going to say was, “you shouldn’t say that unless you plan on making out with me.” trouble was, he already knew that. you must have forgotten who you were talking to. 

before you could finish, his hand was under your chin, and his other hand was resting on the arm of your chair, effectively caging you in, and effectively keeping you from looking away. 

his smile went from benevolent to teasing meaning you got the menace you wanted, as he asked,“unless what?” 

he took more joy in your flustered state than he would care to admit, but he’d recently learned that you had an affinity for trying to catch people off guard, so he thought it was more than fair to do the same to you—as a treat, for him. 

that said, it’s no surprise that you had to endure relentless teasing, him asking you what you wanted from him, why you were so shy all of a sudden, telling you not to be shy and that he wouldn’t bite, unless you asked nicely. what? he liked how warm your face made his hand. 

“what’s wrong? don’t you want to kiss me?” 

okay. that was the last straw. you never even hinted that you didn’t wanna kiss this man, and here he was, making assumptions about you as a person. 

you, in your infinite confidence and assertive nature, said, “i—i never said i didn’t want to.” 

and you know what, you really showed him because even though he laughed at you, even though he made a show of taking off his gloves, even though his hand moved from the arm of the chair to your thigh—even though he took every necessary step to remind you that he was in control, you still got what you wanted. and then some. 

your only saving grace with him is the fact that he breathes professionalism and he’s always busy. when he isn’t busy, however. well. 

simeon

you goddamn heathen. oh, you fucking freak. simeon has a reputation to uphold, you can’t treat him like one of your heathen little human friends, which means you can’t just say whatever pops into your head when you’re talking to him, which means—you should really learn to take compliments normally. 

simeon is a nice guy, and he likes you a lot, so it only makes sense that he compliments you whenever he can. in other words, he dishes out anywhere from one to four compliments whenever the two of you are together. he can’t help it, he just thinks you’re neat! 

the fact remains that you chose to be a menace to the angelic persona he is supposed to project at all times. 

it was a simple compliment. he enjoyed spending time with you, and he told you so, just telling you that your presence was a pleasant one. 

your response was actually normal—it was a simple, “i like being around you too!” 

in a way, this is simeon’s fault, if you think about it. he could’ve just said, “thank you,” and kept it pushing, but instead, he said, “really?”

why would he think you didn’t like being around him? that was unacceptable, so, really, what choice did you have but to give him the most solid affirmation he would ever hear? 

“of course! every day, i’m like, ‘wow, simeon is so cool, we should make out,’ you know?”

what you were expecting was for him to blush and laugh it off, call you silly, and maybe pat your head for good measure. that was a reasonable thing to expect, albeit that is not even close to what you got. 

since you were being so casual, simeon figured that he could—that he should—do the same. it was only natural that he stop being a model angel for a little while, right? 

oh, don’t look so flustered, it’s not like you’ve never been backed against a wall before. how many times has a demon done this to you? it’s only fair that an angel gets a turn. 

“actually,” he started, lips already brushing against yours as he spoke. “i don’t know. would you mind showing me?” 

if you are, understandably, too flustered to function, he will gladly make the first move, don’t worry, but if his first move happens to be taking your bottom lip between his teeth instead of kissing you, well… there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it, so you may as well just enjoy. 

i mean, you tempt an angel, and you get what’s coming to you—that’s all there is to it. 

similar to barbatos, you will only be safe from this man when he’s in public or around a few of the others. if you’re alone with him and in private, he’s already under the impression that he doesn’t have to be an angel with you, so find joy in the side of him you’ve uncovered. 

solomon (derogatory)

you two deserve each other, really. both of you are public enemies. he was just as terrible as your friends from back home, except he was always walking the line like a tightrope. he was always on the verge of making his teasing into a reality, and to be quite frank, you were starting to get fed up—and you were right to be. but this is what you get for being a dirty solomon enjoyer. 

all of his empty threats and demands about kissing you, his lingering touches on your lower back or waist or thighs, his dumb little smirks on his dumb little face, his occasional bites wherever you were vulnerable, his habit of putting his hand around your throat for fun (or so he says)—those all came with the territory. he hasn’t had a friend to tease in ages (he can’t do it to asmo without it immediately turning into an hour long event), so you get it all at once, congratulations! 

don’t look so upset, he’s an attractive guy, so this is still a win. 

now, all of that said, you were hard pressed to find an opportunity to catch this man off guard, but once you got your chance, you latched onto it exactly as you should’ve. 

the two of you were in his room, studying (“studying”) for an upcoming exam. he was sitting in a chair, and you were on his bed a few feet away. you needed something from your bag, which was on the side of his chair farthest from you, so you decided to walk by him to get it, like a normal person. look at you, acting regular for once.

evidently, that was a mistake. as soon as you were in front of him, his hand was on your waist, and you were pulled into his lap. 

you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and everything, and he seemed to have an explanation ready to go, paired with one of his signature smiles.

“i was wondering when i’d get to bother you again.” 

this was your chance—probably the only chance you’d get in a while, so it made sense that you took this opportunity to be heinous, even though you were in a rather compromising position. 

“either sleep with me or leave me alone.”

you did it. for a moment, you had him. the surprise plastered on his face was enough gratification to last you a lifetime, however fleeting it may have been. unfortunately for you, he had a wonderful recovery time. 

before you could fully enjoy the look on his face, it was gone, replaced by a more sinister expression that almost made you regret your decision. 

for what it’s worth, you didn’t have to see that menacing look of his for long because he turned you away from him to press your back into his chest. if that makes you feel any better. 

“i’ll never leave you alone,” he hummed, teeth already grazing your neck. his hand moved from your waist to your inner thigh, slowly separating one leg from the other. “but you already knew that.” 

you didn’t have a saving grace with this man before, and now you never will.

[zerobaseonefics]

wassup 361 guesses! 🤭🤭

and yes you're right! once you're finished with grundschule/elementary school (which you start at 6 or 7 y/o and end at 10 or 11 y/o = 4 years) you get to choose wether you go to the gymnasium or secondary school.

gymnasium is till 12th grade and you get an abitur once finished (which is the best qualification to have (ignoring stuff like university etc)). secondary school groups students into two groups in 7th grade: realschule and hauptschule. realschule is till 10th grade and hauptschule is till 9th grade.

the hauptschulabschluss is the worst one and gives you barely any opportunities. it's mostly for the guys and gals thats struggle too much / don't have good grades at ALL. mostly for foreigners that still struggle with the language and the german disappointments that start doing drOOgs at 13.

realschulabschluss has two different types (again): erweitert ('advanced') or just normal "realschulabschluss". advanced is obviously better and in order to get it you have to be in 2 foreign language curses (english and another one, most commonly russian or french) AND you need to have good enough grades. in the three main subjects (english, german and math) the lowest you're allowed to have is two B's (15 points) and one C (13 points). If lower you're automatically unable to get the advanced realschulabschluss.

i got the advanced realschulabschluss🤭🤭🤭 i had an A in english and two B's in german and math CALL ME GENIUS

anyway thank you for listening to me poorly explaining the german schoolsystem for no reason at all have a nice day

-anon²🤓🤓

GIRL STFU I DIDNT HOW THE GAME WORKS OKAY

i always learn things when i talk to you i love it <_3 i knew roughly about the german system because idk if i told you i have cousins there but know i'll say i'm a pro thanks to you 🤭

ANON² IS A GENIUS WBK. I NEVER DOUBTED YOU ON THAT

[riverroan]

Girlsies hcs i can think of and worked on at 11-12 AM last night

fun fact before we start: Kathrine (Joesph’s daughter) actually died in 1884. Who knew?

Kathrine Pulitzer

Lesbian

Her favorite show is The End of the Fxxxing World

“I’m so gay for alyssa like wtf?”

“We know kath”

She and Spot are saltmates

“Hey, madison? Who sings that song?”

“Bruno Mars”

“Please let him sing it”

Legit when he’s doing hw

“Kath, stfu. I’m trying to think”

“Yeah i know i can see steam”

After Spot finally gets a bf

“Gross”

“I mean at least i can get someone but yeah, me too”

“ BL OCK ED”

Jack and Kathrine have dated before

She was confused

He was helping

Chaotic Good™

She fucking loves her siblings and they all accept her

“What a lovely day to be-”

“Gay”

All six of them say it at once

Her mom’s chill with it

Dad not so much

He doesn’t shame her

But he isn’t gonna try and force her to be straight cause honey he knows she’s deep into the gay hell hole

She wears buns constantly

Also when she doesn’t wear makeup she looks like a goddess

“Wow you should stop wearing makeup more often. I may actually go straight for once”

“Fuck off spot”

Whenever she and sarah finally get together

“well my saltmate and my best friend are together who would’ve figured.”

“Spot leave my lesbian ass alone you gay irish boy”

Cuddles

Kathrine is very loveable and anyone who says otherwise gets beat by the guys

Doesn’t matter how they get beaten

Just know these boys cherish their girls to death

Even if they’ve known them for an hour

“Wow ily to death tf”

Specs and Kathrine and the bestest friends ever okay

They have a treat yo self day

Whether it’s small or big

They will legit have a blast

Specs came out to her as pan after watching Deadpool

“Wow can you believe me a Deadpool have something in common?”

“What?”

“Being pan”

When she figured out she was the first person he came out to she felt amazing

She went home and told her mom everything about it

Her mom was pumped up for her daughter

Specs and Kathrine went to homecoming as friends together and left with their own dates

Specs and romeo

Kathrine and some chick named caitlin

Kathlin didn’t last too long

Turns out caitlin was moving

Theyre still great friends

ANYWAY

Specs told her about his crush on romeo

“He’s just so sweet and funny and ughhhhhhhh”

“I feel ya babe”

Then at homecoming they hooked up

Still together to this day

Kath loves their relationship

She calls them goals

Then in eleventh she got with Sarah

Theyre actually the oldest of the group

Her favorite artist is Dua Lipa

Why?

She’s a queen

Why else?

Shes in debate team

Also the school news

She wishes they had a newspaper but they wanted to be more “Advanced”

Also she knows whether she’ll win an arguement

She can just tell by the way the other person holds themselves

If she knows she lost she’ll nod her head respectfully and go on

She doesn’t let that get to her though

Her favorite subject is ela

Only really big musical she likes is DEH she hates the others

“Why watch some musical of the Heathers when there’s the original movie right here?”

Sarah Jacobs

Her fave subject is math

“Why are gays supposed to hate math?”

She and spot are besties

“I wish stars were out in the day too”

“You’re doing a lousy job as a lesbian if you don’t know girls already exist”

“Are you sure you’re gay?”

These two dated

It was because spot was confused

“Well this was fun, but i like guys more you’re the best love youuuuu”

She also dated jack

“Isn’t that awkward? Dating one brother then six months later go out with the other?”

“No”

“Jack you dumb fuck, haven’t you learned she has no shame don’t question my lesbian best friend and her logic”

She’s not too sure what she’s into honestly

Like holy shit guys are caring and their hands feel great

But like,,, girls are amazing

Spot just calls her a lesbo as a joke

Her fave youtuber is Macdoesit

“We worship queens in this household”

The jacobs’ already knew their first two kids were gay

They don’t care how any turn out as long as they finish school and live happy, healthy lives

They don’t have the time of day to tell them they’ll “go to hell” for being in love with whoever they want since they should be happy

That’s all that matters

“Hey mom, dad, i think i’m bi”

“Cool when you gonna bring a boy or girl over so we can meet them?”

Also after Sarah and Jack broke up Jack started dating Davey after dating another dude after Sarah (it was like two years later)

“isNt tHAt AwkWARd?? dAtiNg ONe sIBlinG tHEn Two YEars lATer Go oUT wITh tHe oTHer????”

“shUT UUUP”

Sarah knows the whole Bee Movie

She also has a shirt of the script

Doesn’t actually like musicals

“They just aren’t for me”

Prefers movies

True Neutral™

don’t get me wrong though

she worships Rent

“I thought you didn’t like musicals”

“leave me alone, Mimi’s coming”

allergic to animal fur actually

so she went all kim possible

“I have a hairless mole-rat”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“Be nice to Rufus”

Chowder is her childhood

so is kim possible tbh

Smalls 

She’s Medda’s only daughter

Everyone will fight for this kid

She’s actually younger than everyone else

She’s tough for an eighth grader

“YOU WANNA GO”

“Smalls calm tf down”

Favorite color is mint green

“It’s just so pleasing to the eye”

“So are boys”

“Race i didn’t ask for your commentary”

She wants to be in band but like,,, she only wants to play drums

Not the other percussion instruments

“Who wants to play those other lame instruments when there’s the drums?”

“Actually-”

“I DONT CARE DAVEY”

She listens very well actually

Also she remembers too many small details

“No one knows my middle name”

“It’s Aaron, what you talking about????”

She’s smart mouthed Delanceys’ a lot

They don’t do shit cause 1. That’s a kid and 2. That’s a girl

Their parents taught them better

Her favorite movie is shrek

“soMEBODY-”

“Smalls, please, it’s four. I need sl e ep”

Chaotic Neutral™

She’s attacked someone with a broom before

It was Jack

He jump scared her while she was sweeping the kitchen

Spot couldn’t breathe while medda and crutchie laughed along and checked if he was okay

Smalls laugh is a snort

“Who sounds like a pig?”

“Don’t call my sister a pig tf dude”

She’s not allowed to be around coffee

It doesn’t do anything really

She’ll throw the cup with the coffee still in to attack people if she’s angry enough though

I said she was chaotic neutral but i’m making her ass sound evil

She shares a room with crutchie

They have bunk beds

She’s top bunk

She hates that bunk but she understands why he’s bottom

She’s actually the youngest Medda ever adopted

When she adopted jack he was 15

Crutchie: 13

Spot: 16

Smalls: 10

She’s 13 now

She goes to her family for different things

Stories: Medda

Nightmare: Jack

Can’t sleep: Spot

Just wants cuddles: Crutchie

Theres different reasons behind these

For Medda she tells her stories about her exprience in theatre and Smalls finds them really nice since Medda’s voice is really soothing and she ususally falls asleep listening to her voice

When she was freaked out over a horror movie he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close and well she found it really nice, eventually falling asleep since it was warm there and she was freezing and she relaxed a lot too

When she first moved in she couldn’t sleep that night and went downstairs to get water and then Spot came down cause he couldn’t sleep either (it was 3 am) and he helped her reach a glass and he just let her crash with him for the night (she fell asleep quick)

When Smalls felt sick one night she went down and cuddled with Crutchie since she couldn’t sleep and she ended up falling asleep quickly like that

When her brothers friends spend the night she always tries to avoid the mess

But fails

One of her brothers will always drag her in

OKAY BUT WHEN HER BROTHERS GO OFF TO COLLEGE SHE IS SO HAPPY FOR THEM

When she goes off to college she goes to NYU for nursing

she’s confused too

“Okay so... guys are cute but like wow girls are too”

“We finally have someone attracted to girls”

“Mama’s a lesbian what are you talking about?”