oozingantfarm

[dayssincethehorrors]

days since q!cellbit has experienced the horrors: 0

time since last reset: 46 minutes

[crossbackpoke-check]

the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything

kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend

[liverpool-enjoyer]

yall for the first time in my life i straight up went up to a guy n made small talk w him n gave him my number n HE HAD A GF 😭😭 WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT??? IM THE STUPIDEST BITCH ON THIS PLANET LIKE HOLY FUCK IM NEVER APPROACHING A MAN AGAIN THATS A PROMISE

[therealgraysonhawthorne]

so then explain why u got hard after carrying lyra if you deny this then ummm your gay

Every part of this sentence is incorrect, even the grammar.

[ta-bajna-cerna-okybaca]

Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each

[grayisblogging]

i love riddler in the batman because he is both batman’s number one fan, and bruce wayne’s biggest hater

[bellossom]

weed guy saw me shitfaced and getting teary-eyed this is like my silent hill I don't know if it gets worser than this girlies I have truly hit rock bottom

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Drea starts a book club when????

OMG NEOWWWW

[commissionsdarian]

https://twitter.com/filmlamet/status/1678927975461400576?s=20 💀

💀

Cillian Murphy and Ben Barnes anons, bane of my existence

[astralmarionette]

stole the stain glass pattern from a Catholic college hope I dont go to hell because of this....

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪. (𝘪'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦) 🧶

⤷ summary: the world meets the newest mclaren team member, and they are loving it! it's poor oscars first day and shit's already hitting the fan sorry dude ): LMAO. lando just experienced love at first sight, while y/n is ready to fist fight

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 32,890 others

mclaren oscar's first day of kindergarten, done. pre-season testing, done. (we'll be even faster soon 🙏🏼 don't worry guys)

2,568 comments

user2 HELLO??? WHO HACKED THE MCLAREN ACCOUNT

user6 we'll be racing past redbull in no time

mclaren a girl can dream

user7 lando is this you??? 😭

user8 budget dropped so low they had to hire the drivers for social media

user3 this is haas money behavior

mclaren excuse you i am NOT LANDO

user8 oscar????

mclaren no sir, i'm the owner of this house 🫵

user9 idk if this is a new admin but this is so unserious

mclaren new year new me babe

user9 give her a raise mclaren 🙏🏼

mclaren REPOST REPOST REPOST

landonorris first day on the job and already asking for more money?

mclaren i'm so sorry lord lando, you forget that us lowly peasants aren't on an athelete salary 🙄

user10 HUMBLE HIM, WE LOVE TO SEE IT

user11 mclaren admin beefing with lando was NOT on my 2023 bingo card

user12 she really said, "ik we're slow but LET US COOK"

mclaren TRUUUSTTT THAT COMEBACK IS COMING (im manifesting)

oscarpiastri KINDERGARTEN??? i'm nearly 22 mate

mclaren teensy weensy baby basically

oscarpiastri your fired /:

mclaren HAHA YOU CAN'T DO THAT 🏃🏻‍♀️

user13 petition for all the f1 team accounts to be run by young admins, this is tooooo good

mclaren screenshotting this for my boss so they don't see these comments and fire me

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user14 she. looked. up. his. salary. 💀 ICON

user15 hiring her was such a rare mclaren W

user16 MCLAREN ADMIN HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND MAKE TIKTOKS 🙏🏼

user17 OMG CAN U IMAGINE

user18 HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE TO PAY MS. MCLAREN FOR THIS OMG

user19 will our team win? probably not BUT AT LEAST WE'LL BE GETTING CONTENT 😘

user20 AYYYYEEEE

user21 LANDO MAY NEVER WIN, BUT THE FANS NEVER LOSE 🤞���

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by mclaren, maxfewtrell, and 60,050 others

landonorris don't mind me, just living my lord life on my athlete's salary. bahrain here we come!

10,750 comments

user22 WHERES THE MCLAREN ADMIN

user23 lando nowins flexing on us poor people

user24 someone come get this man's phone

user25 oh i KNOW pr is mad 💀💀💀

user26 daniel ricciardo leaves and mclaren loses it's mind

user27 daniel leaves and all of us lose our minds 🥲

oscarpiastri jesus christ mate, log out

mclaren i'm not sure he knows how, he might need to pay someone to /:

user28 CRAZZZYYYY

user29 THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

user30 "f1 is a serious sport." the serious sport in question:

user31 the papaya hat 🫵

user32 HE'S SO FINE IM GNAWING AT THE BARS

user33 BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

mclaren phones. on the table. NEOWWW

user33 holy shit this is actually so embarrassing

mclaren at least ur self aware!

user34 she clocked ur asses 😭😭😭

maxfewtrell lord lando flying economy

landonorris I AM NOT

user35 bro took that personally

user36 me thinks the man doth protest too much

danielricciardo i leave you alone for a few months and this is what you're doing

landonorris i learned from the best

danielricciardo DONT BLAME ME FOR THIS

maxverstappen1 ... that's my plane???

landonorris SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

maxverstappen1 you can't just take credit for my private jet. its mine.

mclaren this just in, little lando norris is a little LIAR

mclaren when he steals a plane and wears bucket hats 🫵🤣 everyone point and laugh

landonorris I QUITE LIKE BUCKET HATS

mclaren i quite like bucket hats 🇬🇧☕️🤓

maxverstappen1 🫵🤣

danielricciardo 🫵🤣

charles_leclerc 🫵🤣

carlossainz55 🫵🤣

maxfewtrell 🫵🤣

oscarpiastri 🫵🤣

landonorris OSCAR????

oscarpiastri 🫵🤣 🫵🤣 🫵🤣

mclaren damn he got you there

user37 this cannot be real

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

There were quite a few things Lando expected to be on his agenda when he arrived in Bahrain after him and Max went seperate ways to their own teams. He figured he would meet with his engineers, spend some time getting adjusted to working with Oscar (especially given he hadn't had very much time to meet or bond with the rookie over the break or during pre-season testing), and doing some press interviews as per usual. However no where on his list was an impromptu meeting with Zak Brown. Oscar seemed clueless as to what was going on as well, and Lydia, Lando's personal assistant of two years, was just as clueless.

Lando and Oscar filed into the board room, bottles of water in hand, only to be met face to face with their team manager. Nothing seemed suspicious which Lando hoped was a good thing, but after their underwhelming performance in pre-season testing he knew anything was a possibility.

"Have a seat guys, it's good to see you both. I hope you've been well-rested since testing," Zak greeted with his usual cheerful attitude. Lando and Oscar looked at each other warily but nodded at their boss nonetheless. Zak was usually more of a 'get to the point' kind of man, so this change of pace was unnerving to say the least. Normally it scared Lando a little bit, but truthfully, right now, Lando wanted to be done with this meeting and to get to race preparations.

"That's good, you need all the rest you can get if we're going to try and put up a fight this weekend. In all honesty, I think within the next two years we have a chance to become real competition here. I think we can give Red Bull and Ferrari a run for their money and earn plenty of points this year. Hell," the older man chuckled, "maybe we can win it all."

Lando didn't want to seem skeptical, but he was definitely skeptical. He did not think the car he was given in testing could win the championship, but he would sure as hell be trying.

"But no matter how hard the engineers work the car, and no matter how many sims we do, the one thing we're lacking in is presence. McLaren is notable, we have a famous team and a long roster of famous, successful drivers, including the two of you, but we don't have the same dominating media presence that Mercedes or Ferrari do. And that's what gets us sponsors, and celebrity visits, and fans, and funding. We may not be struggling for money, but if you guys like your multi-million dollar salaries and you want your car to keep being better, we need more media presence. Which is why we decided we wanted to go a bit of a different route this year, with media and all of that."

Oh god. Lando knew where this was going. This was about the new social media admin that had been ruthlessly harrasing him- albeit teasingly- for days now. Only employed for less than two weeks and already stirring up the pot across platforms. Lando looked at Oscar, noting that his teammate was clearly following as well now.

"I know you both have come to realize this already, but there is a new social media manager who runs all of the McLaren accounts. We wanted someone young, someone trendy, someone who knew what the internet is looking for, and who can help us connect and start getting more eyes on McLaren. We want her to meet with you guys today to share a couple of ideas so you can be on the same page for what we'll be doing online. The new manager is just outside. Let me get her so you can speak with her."

Lando nodded dumbly. Right, ok, he could do that. Lando was young, he was online, he was trendy. Plus, most of if not all of the F1 drivers had some kind of media presence already. Lando streamed, he had instagram accounts and twitter, and he even had Quadrant. Lando steeled himself. This would be just fine. An adjustment, but fine.

Zak greeted someone outside of the door and a small bit of shuffling sounds were heard. Before Lando had a chance to stand, Zak was turning and nodding a quick goodbye. Leaving the office room, as a smaller body replaced the space he had been in.

Lando felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs and hoped he hadn't made a noise out loud. He stared, he couldn't help it. He was sure he was slack-jawed, mouth agape and flies coming in. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he should be professional and behave like a normal human being. But the other part of his brain, the dominant part of his brain, was in awe.

Lando looked at the girl in front of him up and down, probably far too obviously, and was stunned. He saw jean shorts, a faded and a mid-washed denim. A colorful-tighter cropped shirt and some layered gold jewelery. Rings on her fingers. Sunglasses in her hair, making her look way to cool to ever speak to him. She rocked on the balls of her sneaker-clad feet- sneakers that matched her clothes perfectly much to Lando's delight- and quickly moved to set her laptop down of the table. She left her small colorful handbag on the table alongside a cup of iced coffee that was already melting in the Bahrain heat. She looked as if she had jumped straight from a Vogue cover (or one of his favorite dreams) and landed right in front of him.

Was it the heat that was making it so hot? Because Lando was becoming suddenly aware of the heat beneath his shirt collar. A stifled cough from Oscar drew Lando from his observation- or rather his creepy, stalker staring- and Lando realized this was not the social etiquette that the situation called for.

Before Lando could even take a step, the girl smirked.

"Nice to finally meet you guys. Hello Oscar," the girl leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

Y/N could now officially say she is not a fan of Lando Norris. The online feud she had cleverly created to generate some conversation about McLaren before the season started had been banter. She had taken no offense to Lando's jokes at all, but now that she was in front of the man and could feel his judgement, her opionions had changed.

From the second she walked in Lando had begun unabashedly staring at her. Looking her up and down, from the shoes she had recently bought to the hair clipped back on her head, and was not sparing a single detail. She felt vaguely like a mannequin on display and it unnerved her.

Oscar smiled at her politely as she set her things down, and she felt thankful for the reprieve from the judgement and critcism she had been recieving since she arrived and was now experiencing again from Lando in full force.

Y/N was aware that her outfit wasn't uniform or professional, but those were not the qualities she was hired for. Y/N had been confident coming in here, feeling like she would likely connect better with people her own age, but was thoroughly dissapointed to find this was not the case.

Oscar ultimately cleared his throat awkwardly, and it appeared as though this finally snapped Lando out of his judgemental stupor, so Y/N decided to finally make her introductions.

"Nice to finally meet you guys, hello Oscar," she leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."

Lando groaned loudly and Oscar laughed.

"Lando I don't think you'll ever live this one down," and Y/N forced a laugh and nodded in agreeance.

"No, probably not. But that's good, that's what I was hoping for." Y/N stated bluntly.

"You were hoping to torture me?" Lando stuttered out and Y/N rolled her eyes, "You'll live I promise." Oscar laughed before pointing out, "at least your not a kindergartener."

Lando stifled a laugh but agreed.

"What purpose did Oscar's baby jokes serve?" Lando asked, and Y/N forced herself not to punch the man at his judgemental tone. He clearly didn't believe in her ability to do her job.

"It's funny, that was it's purpose," she stated, gesturing to the table for the boys to sit as she opened up her laptop. She turned to face toward them, lifting herself slightly so was seated criss-crossed in the chair. She never had liked sitting normally. The boys across from her stared at her expectantly.

"So you create jokes the make people look at us more?" Oscar asked.

"In a way yes. My job is to manage the accounts, but I've also been hired to help get you guys more fans. Fans love to be interacted with, they love seeing you guys joke around, they like feeling like they have content to consume," Y/N explained.

"By playing into these desires, you get more fans, because they feel they 'know you" in a way they don't know the other drivers." The boys nodded their head in understanding.

"So the plan is for me to keep interacting with fans through the McLaren accounts, playing up jokes with you too, and for us to give the fans new content in a way they don't usually get it. Livestreams, youtube vlogs, inside internet jokes, TikToks, the works." Y/N stated.

"Essentially," she said dragging the word out, "I'm going to make you guys the internet's little papaya stars," Lando laughed but nodded. Y/N, despite her first impressions and her developing dislike for the driver, found herself smiling. She could see the vision. Both Oscar and Lando would be awkward and loveable and humorous. The perfect mix for internet support.

"So where do we start?" Oscar asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Y/N smirked. "Have you heard the clip of 'Cuffing Season' by SZA? There's a TikTok trend I think will be perfect for you to do."

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user38 can we talk about how gorgeous admin is?!?!? LIKE OH MY GOD

user10 only hot people go to mclaren

user40 that check better be huge for her

user41 oscar was so mf stiff 💀💀 free my boy

user42 who had a gun to oscars head, he was so scared

user43 lando thirst trapping ICB 😭 I NEED A BIG BOYYY

user44 god admin is so sexy and smart, that was art

user45 CAN WE DISCUSS HOW LANDO LOOKS AT HER

user46 ikr 💀 get off the floor lando your drooling

user47 i want a man to be that down bad for me

user48 lando loverboy era unlocked

user49 meanwhile admin didn't look him in the face

user50 f1 2023 is going to be a WILD RIDE for us mclaren fans if this is before the first race even starts

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ horn dog - 𝐂𝐒𝟓𝟓 ⚘

（ 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗌 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗑 𝗐𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗌 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌．𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝖺 𝗌𝗈𝗇，𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽，𝖿𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋．．．𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗒

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ✫ originally this was called work wife and it was gonna be about lando and carlos and the reader teasing them but i had a different idea after i thought of one comment 😭 also i’m so sorry for being inactive i just lose motivation when i can’t find the right pictures

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by pierregasly and 2,184,643 others

carlossainz55 I went golfing with Lando

charles_leclerc Very nice thank you for sharing with the class Carlos

yn yeah and he asked me to pack them lunch & cut the crusts off their sandwiches

⤷ landonorris what can i say? i’m a man who knows what he wants 🤷‍♂️

⤷ yn you cried and locked yourself in the bathroom when a bee landed on your shoulder last week

⤷ landonorris hey. it was a wasp alright

⤷ yn yes yes very manly

carlando y/n is so over this bromance

maxverstappen1 Very much hurt that I wasn’t invited.

⤷ yn the last time we went golfing the club flew out of your hands before you even touched the ball

⤷ maxverstappen1 Why am I catching strays?? 😨

yn cute. the hat, not you guys

⤷ carlossainz55 I love you too baby ❤️

⤷ yn get home now

⤷ carlossainz55 Yes ma’am

⤷ oscarpiastri Walk em like a dog sis walk em like a dog 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

⤷ carlossainz55 Don’t make me block you again

⤷ oscarpiastri Again?

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by fernandoalo_oficial and 3,379,802 others

carlossainz55 Date night with my one and only ❤️

georgerussell63 Oh jeez here comes baby #3. Brace yourselves everyone

danielricciardo Okay who let them out for dinner unsupervised?

scuderiaferrari Betting 500$ that it’s gonna be another boy.

⤷ mclaren Get your money in order.

⤷ f1 This is inappropriate behavior. Jk I’m betting on another boy

⤷ carlossainz55 ??

⤷ f1 And if I said twins then what?

⤷ carlossainz55 ???????

landonorris be expecting a pregnancy reveal in about 3 weeks everyone.

⤷ yn well just fuck me then i guess

⤷ carlossainz55 I did?

charles_leclerc Leave that poor girl alone Carlos goodness gracious

pierregasly Lets keep this PG carlos

⤷ carlossainz55 You cannot be talking

⤷ pierregasly You right you right 🐶

alex_albon you dirty dog 😏

⤷ georgerussell63 No. Not the vibes

⤷ alex_albon oh…

alex_albon is anyone else getting hot? 🌶️🥵

⤷ georgerussell63 Just stop trying. It’s getting sad

⤷ alex_albon alright then!

🝮

yn

liked by sunisalee and 7,826,917 others

yn 💌

landonorris wait a damn minute

georgerussell63 Very confuzzled

pierregasly Teach me your ways Carlos

alex_albon does bro have super sperm??

landonorris your already pregnant??

⤷ yn BEEN 😇 that picture carlos posted was from 4 months ago

⤷ landonorris i feel very betrayed right now

⤷ landonorris THIS IS WHY WE HAVENT BEEN HANGING OUT? 💔💔

⤷ yn well we can hangout now

⤷ landonorris ok i’m coming over

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton Congratulations you two!! I’m so happy for you guys 💙

alexandrasaintmleux Hardest secret to keep 😫 So happy we can finally have our shopping dates back

⤷ carlossainz I’m not. You guys go out everyday

francisca.cgomes cutest ever 🥹🥹 i’m so excited for baby sainz #3 <33

lilymhe Hottest mommy 😉🩷 i love u all

carmenmmundt Congratulations pretty lady I’m so happy for you and your family 🩵

charles_leclerc HAHAHAH I’VE KNOWN SINCE DAY 1 YOURE ALL LOSERS

landonorris CHARLES AND ALEX KNEW ME BEFORE ME?!?!?!? CHARLES IS SUCH A BIG MOUTH THOUGH

5 minutes ago

landonorris i’m turing around right now. i just need a minute to process this.

5 minutes ago

landonorris ok i’ve processed this i’m standing outside open the door

4 minutes ago

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by georgerussell63 and 1,174,823 others

carlossainz55 The past week

alex_albon big back big back, carlos ate all the big mac’s 😍🌶️🥵😇

⤷ georgerussell63 Alex please

yn oooh hey fattie 🫶🏽

⤷ carlossainz55 Hello baby 😘❤️

francisca.cgomes baby emilio 🩵🩵

charles_leclerc I think carlos jr jr and emilio want to have another sleepover with leo and uncle charlie 😇

landonorris yum 😋 not the pizza, you 😉

scuderiaferrari Our favorite family ❤️

⤷ yn clearly not

⤷ yn who said that?

alexandrasaintmleux This is the most unaesthetic post I’ve ever seen

⤷ carlossainz55 Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today

⤷ carlossainz55 Hold on are you saying my wife isn’t aesthetic?? And my son?? How dare you

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux No y/n and emilio are always aesthetic I’m saying you don’t know how to put the right pictures together

⤷ carlossainz55 I don’t want to hear it

lilymhe only here for my girl and the babies

⤷ carlossainz55 You’re girl??

⤷ lilymhe yes MY girl 😂

⤷ charlos4eva carlos is always fighting for his life in the comments

hoeforsainzzz y/n still being salty is so real

all4lando what i would do to be that piece of pizza isn’t okay 😫😫

operationsainz55 i’ve missed lando always being with them 🥹

sharls_leclercussy baby emilio appearance!! now we need baby los

georgerussell63 Emilio did NOT want to hand that flower over

⤷ alex_albon “emy just pretend like your giving me the flower okay?”

⤷ carlossainz55 You two are the BIGGEST haters I know. BIGGEST if yk what I mean 🐽🐽

⤷ georgerussell63 What are you trying to say Carlos?

⤷ carlossainz55 I’m say you guys are fatties, might wanna cut back on the drinks, you girls are getting beer bellies

⤷ georgerussell63 How dare you, you bastard. I do not drink beer.

charles_leclerc Biggie & biggie jr ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by meretmanon and 2,234,890 others

yn i love you nyc

alexandrasaintmleux We need a girls trip to nyc

⤷ yn omg yes i’m already writing ideas in my notes app

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Already making a mood board

⤷ carlossainz55 We’ll be back in December everyone

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux we?

⤷ yn as in me and alex?

⤷ carlossainz55 Wow

⤷ charles_leclerc Wow

landonorris me and the boys just got done absolutely demolishing some dino nuggets

⤷ yn that sounds very fun lando thank you for sharing with us

⤷ alex_albon they left you guys at the hotel? 😭

⤷ landonorris no they shipped me and the babies back to monaco to have some “alone time” if yk what i mean

⤷ georgerussell63 The baby doesn’t get hurt?

⤷ maxverstappen1 I don’t think it’s big enough to reach 😂

⤷ carlossainz55 Excuse me? I’ll let you know that I have bruised her cervix many times

⤷ landonorris Carlos sainz are you saying your saying you rough up your wife? 🫢 you dirty dog

⤷ alex_albon oh so he can say it but not me?

⤷ carlossainz55 What can I say she likes it that way

⤷ georgerussell63 You don’t need to be big to bruise someone’s cervix

⤷ carlossainz55 Tell that to her belly bulge

⤷ alex_albon and how would you know that George Russell? 🤨

⤷ georgerussell63 Google ho 🤣

⤷ oscarpiastri who is this DIVA💜

⤷ lewishamilton Wow sometimes I forget your not a middle aged man

⤷ oscarpiastri Like you? 🤣🤣 might be time to hang up the helmet old man💀 and rookie Alonso

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial What he say fuck me for??

⤷ yn idk leave me alone

scuderiaferrari Hope you all are having the best time in NYC ❤️

⤷ mclaren Read the fucking room?

⤷ redbullracing Ooh someone took the lead and don’t know how to act 🙄

⤷ mercedesamgf1 I HATE YOU ALL

⤷ f1 ho is u coo?

🝮

landonorris

liked by pierregasly and 1,121,672 others

landonorris life as a single mom

BEING A MOM IS A JOB TO GUYS!!

yn oh shut your face

⤷ landonorris can you not yell?? i just put the boys to bed jeez

⤷ yn are you being cereal right now 😐

⤷ landonorris someone didn’t get d down last night

⤷ yn i’m gonna punch you in the throat when i get back to monaco

⤷ landonorris carlos!! control your woman!

⤷ carlossainz55 No thanks she scares me 🥰

⤷ landonorris at least give her some of that d man

⤷ carlossainz55 She’s been gettin it trust

⤷ yn why is our sex life always the topic of conversation??

⤷ carlossainz55 Bitches wish they were us

⤷ landonorris ooh we love a sassy man 💋

⤷ yn what is wrong with you

⤷ landonorris please don’t use that tone with me i’m feeling very sensitive right now

⤷ yn aww is it that time of the month

⤷ landonorris i’m the sweetest girl in town so why are you sooo mean? 💔😞🖤😖

oscarpiastri They always look like they just got back from war after being with you for more then 24 hours

charles_leclerc Let’s pray you don’t have kids until your at least 30

⤷ yn you’re*

⤷ oscarpiastri you’re*

⤷ lewishamilton you’re*

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux you’re*

⤷ landonorris your*

⤷ landonorris fuck i can’t do anything right

⤷ charles_leclerc I GET IT DAMN

⤷ charles_leclerc hahaha lando go back to school

⤷ landonorris you coming with me genius?

⤷ charles_leclerc damn

danielricciardo Now why would they trust you with two kids under 5

⤷ landonorris you’d be surprised with how much they trust me with…that’s right guys i know their dirty secrets 😏🍆🍑

⤷ carlossainz55 I’ll spill all your dirty secrets if you spill any of my dirty secrets

⤷ geogrerussell63 How are you guys getting that font??

⤷ landonorris it’s a secret

🝮

yn

liked by oliviajade and 4,769,106 others

yn surprise surprise,

mathéo & matthew 🤍 our little miracles

alexandrasaintmleux So much love 🤍 I’m obsessed with them already 🥰🥰

landonorris two more godsons to love 💙

f1 What did I say? Congratulations you two we are all so happy for your family 💙💙

carmenmmundt How precious 🥹🥹

alex_albon so what i’m hearing is carlos DOES have super sperm?

scuderiaferrari Does this mean we get 1000?? 😁😁

⤷ mclaren I was jking I knew it was gonna be a boy

⤷ f1 Hahahaha you have to pay both of us now 😂🫵🏽

francisca.cgomes so much boys 😭🩵🩵 i can’t wait to meet them 🥹

lewishamilton double trouble 💙💙💙 beautiful blessings truly

landonorris 4 is the best number 😏

⤷ yn don’t make me get pregnant again just to make it 5

⤷ landonorris gonna go cry in the bathroom brb

⤷ yn don’t come back ❤️

⤷ landonorris my heart can’t take this anymore

georgerussell63 You poor girl how are you surviving with all these boys??? 😦

⤷ yn i love my clingy boys

charles_leclerc Can’t wait to get them on the track

⤷ carlossainz55 You and me both brother

⤷ estiebestie i’m not okay

danielricciardo Congratulations on expanding your football team 💙

lilymhe milf 4x 😉 in awe of them 🩵

pierregasly Carlos Sainz the man that you are

carlossainz55 I love you and our sons more then life itself baby, I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone but you ❤️

⤷ landonorris SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

⤷ maxverstappen1 Come on grandpa, let’s get you back to bed

[jo-com]

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚ ༘ ⋆ ➛ Opposite

Oscar Piastri x Fem!reader

Summary: Oscar has always been so grumpy and moody; frowning towards others but when he sees you, his mood changes faster than the speed of light itself.

Genre: Black cat boyfriend x Golden retriever girlfriend

Note: look out for grammatical errors and this is not proofread guys!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

─────── ─ ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚─ ───────

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” Lando joked, seeing as Oscar’s expression rested into it’s usual downward smile. It was always fixated like that so it’s hard to tell whether or not he’s mad or just himself— others often misinterpret his attitude though.

Mainly because of his resting bitch face and the fact that he’s always frowning all the time, but people got used to it overtime.

Oscar just rolled his eyes and shrugged,”Nothing, i was just staring at something.”

“Staring?” Lando scoffed, “mate, you look like you’re about to murder someone.”

Oscar flipped Lando off, not even sparing him a single glance as he does so.

The other driver chuckled at his child like behavior and just shook his head in a playful manner, “I am telling you man, whatever your staring at right now, might think you’re judging the inside of their soul”

“I don’t even care, fuck them” oscar retaliated, his eyes rolling in the back of his head out of habit.

Before Lando could even tease him any further, a familiar voice spoke softly; interrupting their conversation and joining in themselves.

“Fuck who?” You asked innocently, your smile so radiant and bright that it lit up the once cold and mundane atmosphere.

Oscar’s whole demeanor changed and so did his mood— as soon as you set foot in the hospice and when his eyes landed on your pretty figure, he was like a completely new person.

“Hi babyy!” He spoke, dragging the y with an exaggerated smile, his tone going from gloomy to happy.

Lando giggled from the corner, “wow, where did that come from.”

Oscar momentarily glared at Lando— his eyes shifted back to his old one. If looks could kill, Lando would be buried 6 feet under.

His fellow driver put both hands in front and gestured to back off, “guess i am off then, see you around y/n."

"Bye lan, it was nice seeing you!" you replied happily.

Meanwhile, whilst Lando was heading out, Oscar's sharp stare never jearked away from his body; staring daggers at the poor man.

But of course, once Lando has left, his whole aura changed; he was all bubbly and smiley. It's like he wasn't the Oscar from earlier.

Oscar then patted his lap, gesturing for you to sit there, to which you happily obliged. Sitting excitedly on his lap and gripping his waist to try and balance yourself.

You leaned in to his embrace and shifted yourself to comfort.

"What were you guys talking about?," you mumbled, moving your head up to see his face clearly.

Oscar let out a contented sigh as he gently laid his hand in the roof of your head and ruffled it. You were just so damn adorable, sitting on his lap like that.

Your eyes narrowed from his movement, "What was that for?" You gasped confusingly, earning a soft chuckle from your boyfriend.

"Nothing you're just too cute not to" Oscar spoke, using his free hand to pinch the side of your cheek.

He looked at awe with your confused look-- he doesn't know why it affects him that much and why it makes his heart go beat crazy, but he likes the feeling.

Only with you though.

You guys were too busy with each other that you didn't even notice another presscence blocking the doorframe.

Only when a subtle gasp where let out that the two of you knew that there was someone else.

"IS THAT A SMILE I SEE FROM THE OSCAR PIASTRI??"

"LEAVE US ALONE PIERRE"

And he's back.

...

Sorry for not updating in a long time, I've not been myself lately😭

[fastandcarlos]

Through The Years : ̗̀➛ Lewis Hamilton

summary: you've been with lewis since day one, and you've got the instagram posts still saved to show just how much you guys have been through over the years

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked ynusername, mercedesamgf1 and 2,419,593 others

lewishamilton: WORLD CHAMPION BABY 🏆🏎️

291,492 comments

username1: always knew you were destined for greatness

username2: congrats champ 🏆

ynusername: pretty cool to say I’m not dating a world champ 💕

lewishamilton: @/ynusername you’re welcome 😂

username3: IM SO PROUD OF YOU LEWIS!!

nicorosberg: I’ll get you next year 😂

kimimatiasraikkonen: amazing season lewis, congratulations 👏🏻

username4: my world champ 🌍🏆

username5: we always knew that you’d get there…first of many 🫶🏻

jensonbutton: nice to see the trophy coming back to british seas 🎉

username6: cannot wait for you to be world champion for the next twenty thousand seasons 🥺

aussiegrit: amazing season, great racing with you this year!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lewishamilton, nicorosberg and 992,138 others

ynusername: apparently i'm a mercedes girl now, 2012 season incoming and i'm here for it, wishing you all the luck in the world my love

32,103 comments

username7: five years on and I’m still so thankful that lewis has you in his corner yn ❤️

jensonbutton: mercedes is the best team anyway 💙🏎️

username8: it’s taken years but she’s finally convinced 😂

username9: if you ever change your mind I’ll come and be a mercedes girl instead

lewishamilton: thank you for always being my biggest fan my love 💞

ynusername: @/lewishamilton always on your side 😘

username10: another world title pending…

username11: lewis doesn’t need luck, the title is his yn!!

nicorosberg: still can’t believe you’re not wearing my shirt around the paddock 🙄

ynusername: @/nicorosberg last time I checked I wasn’t dating you 🤷🏻‍♀️

username12: this is the level of girlfriend I aspire to be

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1,982,503 others

lewishamilton: yn said we weren't allowed to have children yet so i went and got the next best thing, introducing roscoe 🐶❤️

148,580 comments

username13: omg roscoe is just the cutest 😭😭

ynusername: I already deal with a child every day living with you 😂😂

lewishamilton: @/ynusername stop exposing me like this!!

schecoperez: can’t wait to meet roscoe at the paddock soon!

username14: proudest dog dad ever!

username15: can I also be adopted by lewis and yn like roscoe please???

aussiegrit: how much are you paying poor yn to dogsit during race weekends 🤔

lewishamilton: @/aussiegrit she’s paid in love and affection don’t you worry 😂

username16: YET…there’s hope for the future still!!

valtteribottas: how have you adopted a dog and only just told me now? 😡

username17: roscoe is already my best friend and no one else’s

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, valtteribottas and 3,491,508 others

lewishamilton: still just as sweet to win all these years on, thank you mercedes fans for your continued support

104,592 comments

username18: true legend of formula 1 🤩

valtteribottas: congratulations, so proud to be your teammate 🏎️

username19: a decade on and still your number one fan!!

maxverstappen1: let someone else have a win for one will you? 😂

ynusername: and I’m still just as proud to see you on the podium as I was all those years ago 💕💕

username20: it’s unfair how talented one man can be 😭

username21: just tell us your secrets pls 😂

username22: all the other drivers wishing that they could be as talented as you!!

kimimatiasraikkonen: couldn’t think of a better guy to be p2 behind ☺️

danielricciardo: can you just retire already and leave us alone??

lewishamilton: @/danielricciardo: you’re stuck with me a little while longer yet

username23: no one else will ever compare to you…

hulkhulkenberg: teach me how to overtake like you 🙏🏻

username24: I’m not prepared for the day we experience f1 without this man 😭

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 859,182 others

ynusername: oh yeah...did i mention that i have a husband now?? 🥺

47,620 comments

username25: my two favourite people in the world are married…I can’t cope 😭

danielricciardo: congratulations, couldn’t be happier for the two of you 🥂

valtteribottas: we had the best time celebrating you guys ❤️

username26: how did they manage to get married and keep it an entire secret from the world???

username27: I want to see all the photos asap

landonorris: okay and my invite was where exactly??

ynusername: @/landonorris whoops must’ve got lost in the post somewhere 🤷🏻‍♀️

username28: the ultimate boyfriend material just became ultimate husband material

charles_leclerc: couldn’t have happened to two nicer people 🫶🏻

username29: my heart just skipped a beat with pure happiness for this 🥺

lewishamilton: have I mentioned how proud I am to be your husband? 💞

ynusername: @/lewishamilton I bet not as proud as I am to be your wife!

username30: why do I feel like I’ve been betrayed by not being told this news sooner??

georgerussell63: fyi best wedding I’ve ever been too!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and 2,492,608 others

lewishamilton: our greatest blessing is yet to come, yn and i are so happy to share that we are expecting our very own little one just before christmas...i could not be any happier as we start this new chapter ❤️❤️❤️

149,528 comments

landonorris: ah I’m so happy for you two!!

username31: omg this is just the best news ever!!

username32: my two faves are having a baby 🤯

schecoperez: I’ll make sure to pass all my tips onto you 😂

lewishamilton: @/schecoperez I’ll be needing all of them

username33: I’ve never been happier then I am right now 😭

ynusername: I can’t wait for this next adventure with you 💕

lewishamilton: @/ynusername no one else I’d rather do this with!!

charles_leclerc: cannot wait to meet your little one at the paddock soon!

jensonbutton: being a parent is the best feeling in the world ❤️

username34: I’ve waited so long to see this post and now it’s finally happening 🎉

username35: nobody speak to me for the next nine months

valtteribottas: uncle duties pending…

username36: they’re going to be the best parents I can already tell

carlossainz55: I know how much this means to you two…congratulations!

username37: THIS IS EVERYTHING 🥺

nicorosberg: simply couldn’t be happier, the biggest congratulations 👏🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux and 729,501 others

ynusername: the best daddy i could ever dream of our little girl having, on cloud nine right now ⛅️

33,495 comments

lewishamilton: thank you for giving me the greatest gift ever 💞💞

username38: dad lewis is just something else 😭

carmenmmundt: I can’t wait for all the cuddles asap!!!!

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt I cannot wait to introduce you as soon as were at a race 😭

username39: my heart can’t cope with how adorable these photos are

georgerussell63: well these are just a little bit cute eh??

username40: thank you yn for blessing my timeline like this

username41: it’s not fair how one baby can be so cute 🤩

landonorris: this kid is too cute to be lewis’ surely 😂😂

username42: you can just tell she’s already got lewis wrapped right around her finger 😂

charles_leclerc: stop rubbing it in how cute your daughter is 😂

username43: ultimate daddy’s girl right here 🥺🥺

sebastianvettel: these photos are adorable yn, so happy for you guys!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, charles_leclerc and 1,492,043 others

lewishamilton: everything in life i do for these guys, everything i've ever wanted and more

42,291 comments

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[chappucino]

My dad forgot my parents' wedding anniversary for the first time in 31 years because he ..... hyperfixated too hard on chopping firewood .... 😭😭😭 he got so upset when my mum reminded him and teased him about forgetting 😭😭😭😭

[cherrynflowergarden]

demon in my head||joão félix

an; hiiii pookies how are y'all joão is literally so husband coded urg it's unfair i hate pretty people sm❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 people are so crazy??? blaming a single man for the loss??? hello the last time i checked football is a team sport so how can you blame ONE PERSON???? honestly if anything it's on the team not on a single person tbh it's not even on the team shits happen there are days were everything goes against your wish im really disappointed by ppl who are hating félix rn like poor man is just 24!! he's a human!! he's allowed to be nervous and feel overwhelmed!! he's allowed to make mistakes!! cmon man even your goat couldn't score a goal in 120 mins then how come you're shitting on félix there's so much i want to say but im too angry for that now peak stupidity lowkey feel like it's 19 nov 2023 (portugal version) (my desi ppl will understand the trauma behind this date😀💔) but atleast we didn't troll our players and won the t20 wdc before the legends' retirement so there's that hehe 🎀🌷💌 F1!READER YAY ALSO THAT MAGUI (ew) DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS AU SO YAY JOÃO ISN'T TRAUMATIZED BY THAT THING!!!!! ALSO SINGLE JOÃO ERA BEFORE HE DATES BEAUTIFUL YN ERA 😇☝️

summary; yn yln is a formula 1 driver. and pretty famous one. but sometimes she forgets that.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

liked by maxvestrappen1, logansargeant, joaofelix79 and 1,755,962 others

yourusername guys the person on twitter wasn't me it was the demon in my head😇😇😇😇

view comments

username GIRL I CAN'T DEFEND YOU ANYMORE

username she's so pretty urgg

username JOAO IN THE LIKES OMG

logansargeant YOU ATE MY CHEESECAKE???

yourusername SORRY POOKIE IT WAS CALLING MY NAME I SWEAR

logansargeant don't talk to me yOU SAID IT WAS LANDO

landonorris SO YOU'RE THE REASON FOR THE DIRTY LOOKS HE GAVE ME

charles_leclerc you're a menace yn😟

yourusername urg leave me alone i'm just a girl 😖🎀

francisca.cgomes GIRLFRIEND🩷

yourusername MY BABY🩷

pierregasly THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND GET AWAY YN!!!

yourusername no

joaofelix hi

this comment is deleted by author

joaofelix hello?

this comment is deleted by author

joaofelix excuse me🤨

this comment is deleted by author

username LMAO NOT YN DELETING JOAOS COMMENTS 😭

username it's ok yn happens to the best of us

joaofelix STOP DELETING MY COMMENTS😾

yourusername NO❤️

joaofelix WHY😓

yourusername BECAUSE I CAN😇

joaofelix no👺

yourusername okay😖

username wtf just happened

username do they know dms exist 😀⁉️

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

liked by maxvestrappen1, yourusername, and 982,829 others

redbullracing welcomes joaofelix79 to the redbull garage ✨

view comments

username OMG

username SOMEONE CHECK ON YN IS SHE OKAY

username yourusername BESTIE ARE SO BREATHING????

yourusername NO I'M NOT

username OMG YOU REPLIED

username IT'S OKAY IT'S JUST JOAO

yourusername WDYM IT'S JUST JOAO????? IT'S JOÃO FÉLIX OMGGGGGGG

username UNDERSTANDABLE BUT KEEP YOUR COOL WE DON'T WANT TO SCARE HIM AWAY

yourusername OMG YOU'RE SO RIGHT

yourusername ok so im cool now😇

joaofelix79 hi yn

yourusername i lied i'm not cool anymore 😫

username potential father get out you're scaring mother 😖

oscarpiastri what

maxvestrappen1 it was great to have you in the garage!

liked by author

username lmaooo yn losing her shit in the comments is so funny

yourusername so my miseries are fun to you

username yes☺️

yourusername what kind of fans do i have

username lovely ones☺️

joaofelix79 thank you for having me redbullracing

liked by author

redbullracing i'm afraid we need to confiscate your phone yourusername

yourusername y'all hate seeing a woman happy😣😣

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

liked by landonorris, honeymoon, lilymhe and 1,365,797 others

yourusername table for two 🌷🪷🌺

view comments

georgerussell63 update the gc

landonorris NEOWWW

oscarpiastri stop ignoring us

charles_leclerc YN WE SEE YOU LURKING IN THE COMMENTS UPDATE THE GC

yourusername no

username OMG

username wait no joao in the likes or comments???

yourusername GUYS LANA DEL RAY IN MY LIKES OMG????

yourusername SHE KNOWS I EXIST

yourusername IMMM WHARTRRRRR

yourusername ggrttggfsyiddgjk

maxvestrappen1 what is wrong with you

username MISS MAAM TELL US WHO PLS

yourusername no

username b-but why i thought we're besties 😣

yourusername we are but it's fun to see y'all loose your minds hehe😇

carlossainz55 is this who i think it is

yourusername maybeeeee

lewishamilton 🫶🩷

yourusername the only sane driver 🎀

alexandrasaintmleux y'all she went on a date w me

yourusername so real wife imy come home the kids miss you

alexandrasaintmleux ofc my love 🩷

charles_leclerc excuse me??

yourusername you're excused

username for the sake of my mental health i need this to be joao🙏🙏

username bae it's ok u can tell the world it's me🫶

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

liked by peargas, kikapika, wtfisakilometer and 58 others

tagged ynshusband

ynluvslily do u think he'll kiss me after getting high bc we're dating 🤨⁉️

view comments

lilyluvsyn DOUBLE DATE WHEN

ynluvslily SOON LILS😖🩷

ynshusband why are you in my gfs username 🤨⁉️

lilyluvsyn she was mine before yours you common football man😡

ynluvslily you tell em wifey🫵‼️

ynshusband alnobone you let this happen 🙀

alnobone unfortunately 😓

landoyesrizz i don't wanna see ur ugly face post ur bf🔥🔥🔥

ynshusband 😘😘😘

ynluvslily girl you have carlos leave this one for me😡😡

smoothoperator right im better than him anyways

ynluvslily excuse me 🤨😡

smoothoperator he's a barca player yn🚩

ynluvslily stay mad🫶

redbullracing for the sake of my sanity i'm assuming that the caption is a joke and you won't get high before race

ynluvslily hehe🎀

oscarpastry why does your team follow your spam

ynluvslily admin is literally my child how can i not let them follow my spam😇

redbullracing mother🙏

olliethebear y'all are so cute adopt me pls🥹🩷

ynluvslily OFC OLLIE YOU'RE OUR BABY FROM NOW ONWARDS

parttimemusician EXCUSE ME THAT'S MY CHILD HOW DARE YOU

ynluvslily YOUR CHILD DOESN'T WANT YOU GO AWAY 🤺🤺🤺

parttimemusician GASP OLLIE WHAT IS SHE SAYING

olliethebear you forgot about me ex dad😣

parttime NOOOO I COULD NEVER

ynluvslily SHUU CHARLES LEAVE MY SON ALONE

mickeyschumacherrrrr are u up for more adoption

ynluvslily OFC ML AND UNLIKE CHARLES I LOVE ALL MY CHILDREN 🔥☺️ SO YOU'LL BE ALWAYS TAKEN CARE OF😁🫶

mickeyschumacherrrrr YAYAY

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

liked by maxvestrappen1, joaofelix79, pablogavi and 1,984,893 others

yourusername 2nd slide is literally me

view comments

yourusername me and guy i pulled by being borderline psychotic 😁🎀🫶🥹💌🩷🌷✨

pinned by author

username OMG

username SHE KEPT THIS A SECRET FOR SO LONG?????

joaofelix79 😁🩷

yourusername 🤭🩷

username i understand yn bc joao looks so yummy

liked by author

redbullracing favourite couple ✨

liked by author

username MOTHER AND STEPFATHER

username NO MOTHER AND FATHER WHO STEPPED UP

yourusername CHILDREN

joaofelix79 baby atleast ask me before adopting more children

username 1. we were here before you so wtf u talking about 2. wdym by adopting more children

joaofelix79 1. sorry my bad? 2. she adopted ollie, mick, logan, half of the f2 drivers and the redbull interns

username MOTHER FR🙏

username shaking in my boots bc wdym joao félix replied me

username father children bonding time😇☝️

username y'all are so cute

carlossainz55 he's a barca player yn red flag

yourusername you literally played football w him yesterday you're not fooling anyone

yourusername WHO TAUGHT YOU WHAT RED FLAG MEANS GRANDPA