#legat system

[hauntedbystorytelling]

unknown dancer. Nicolas and Nadine Legat school.

src The Russian Ballet society

[remholder]

hate crimed on the spot

[sapphosewrites]

I think it's interesting and also telling that Garak's punishment was exile, because that seems to be unusual. The other Cardassian punishments we see are death, imprisonment in a labor camp (after which reintegration into society is possible), and one reference to a poet who was exiled during the lifetime of Dax's second host and under the auspices of what may have been an entirely different governmental structure (First Republic, possibly before the military dictatorship). Given that Garak was undoubtedly in possession of dangerous knowledge and skills, why not just execute him? The Obsidian Order kidnapped and surgically altered Kira in order to expose a legate as a traitor, I don't think they've got many qualms about just planting evidence. (Garak himself gives one exile story that involves a frame job.)

I think the exile has nothing to do with the Cardassian legal system, and everything to do with Tain. He tells us honestly what he wants for Garak: a long, miserable life, growing old on a station with people who hate him, and knowing that he can never again return home. For whatever betrayal Tain thinks Garak committed, execution would be letting him off too easy. He wants to torture him instead, indefinitely, until the day he dies.

I wonder if there's an extra twist of cruelty in there too, given that we know Tain thinks Garak is too sentimental and that Garak loves literature, to give him the same fate as an old poet. Like, there's a romanticism to it, almost, and that's just another jab at Garak's romanticism as a way that he failed to measure up.

[brother-emperors]

What do you mean when you say that Pompey is a lover in a story of inescapable violence? I am extremely intrigued

the Late Republic is a stage of violence intent on gorging itself on this violence, the structure of the system leaves no other outcome.

Pompey is both someone born into this cycle and someone who is an acting hand of violence. He fashions himself after a military ideal, Alexander the Great, he positions himself as Sulla’s successor in the arena of political spectacle (rising/setting sun), he is Rome’s conquering hand.

He’s also, in Plutarch’s biography, intensely aware of matters of love and romance and does not treat them as an idle and casual affair. It is, in some way, an inherent part of his character. He is the ideal of a husband, even if it conflicts with whatever other ideals he’s supposed to embody, and apparently trades in his role as a general to remain in Rome with his wife.

We are told that Flora the courtesan, when she was now quite old, always took delight in telling about her former intimacy with Pompey, saying that she never left his embraces without bearing the marks of his teeth. Furthermore, Flora would tell how Geminius, one of Pompey's companions, fell in love with her and annoyed her greatly by his attentions; and when she declared that she could not consent to his wishes because of Pompey, Geminius laid the matter before Pompey. Pompey, accordingly, turned her over to Geminius, but never afterwards had any thing at all to do with her himself, although he was thought to be enamoured of her; and she herself did not take this treatment as a mere courtesan would, but was sick for a long time with grief and longing. (…) Moreover, Pompey also treated the wife of Demetrius his freedman (who had the greatest influence with him and left an estate of four thousand talents) with a lack of courtesy and generosity unusual in him, fearing lest men should think him conquered by her beauty, which was irresistible and far-famed. But though he was so extremely cautious in such matters and on his guard, still he could not escape the censures of his enemies on this head, but was accused of illicit relations with married women, to gratify whom, it was said, he neglected and betrayed many public interests.

Plut. Pomp. 2

All this won him admiration and affection; but on the other hand he incurred a corresponding displeasure, because he handed over his provinces and his armies to legates who were his friends, while he himself spent his time with his wife among the pleasure-places of Italy, going from one to another, either because he loved her, or because she loved him so that he could not bear to leave her; for this reason too is given. Indeed, the fondness of the young woman for her husband was notorious, although the mature age of Pompey did not invite such devotion. The reason for it, however, seems to have lain in the chaste restraint of her husband, who knew only his wedded wife, and in the dignity of his manners, which were not severe, but full of grace, and especially attractive to women, as even Flora the courtesan may be allowed to testify.

Plut. Pomp. 53

Nevertheless, the marriage was displeasing to some on account of the disparity in years; for Cornelia's youth made her a fitter match for a son of Pompey. 3 Those, too, who were more critical, considered that Pompey was neglect­ful of the unhappy condition of the city, which had chosen him as her physician and put herself in his sole charge; whereas he was decking himself with garlands and celebrating nuptials, though he ought to have regarded his very consul­ship as a calamity, since it would not have been given him in such an illegal manner had his country been prosperous.

Plut. Pomp. 55

The messenger, finding her in this mood, could not bring himself to salute her, but indicated to her the most and greatest of his misfortunes by his tears rather than by his speech, and merely bade her hasten if she had any wish to see Pompey with one ship only, and that not his own. When she heard this, she cast herself upon the ground and lay there a long time bereft of sense and speech. At last, however, and with difficulty, she regained her senses, and perceiving that the occasion was not one for tears and lamentations, she ran out through the city to the sea. Pompey met her and caught her in his arms as she tottered and was falling. "I see thee," she cried, "husband, not by thy fortune, but by mine, reduced to one small vessel, thou who before thy marriage with Cornelia didst sail this sea with five hundred ships. Why hast thou come to see me, and why didst thou not leave to her cruel destiny one who has infected thee also with an evil fortune so great? What a happy woman I had been if I had died before hearing that Publius, whose virgin bride I was, was slain among the Parthians! And how wise if, even after his death, as I essayed to do, I had put an end to my own life! But I was spared, it seems, to bring ruin also upon Pompey the Great."

So spake Cornelia, as we are told, and Pompey answered, saying: "It is true, Cornelia, thou hast known but one fortune to be mine, the better one, and this has perhaps deceived thee too, as well as me, in that it remained with me longer than is customary. But this reverse also we must bear, since we are mortals, and we must still put fortune to the test. For I can have some hope of rising again from this low estate to my former high estate, since I fell from that to this.”

Plut. Pomp. 74-75

I have some vague thought in here about how Pompey was entrusted with Rome’s safety, and that conflicts with his Lover status because you can’t love something more than Rome without Rome deciding to cast you out, and it also prevents him from reclaiming his Soldier role in the ensuing war with Caesar. Doomed by Rome, doomed by Love, doomed by Fortune, etc. but also simply the inevitable cycle of war and violence, the ever turning wheel of Rome.

[radiofreederry]

The galaxy by the end of 9 ABY in me and @gabajoofs' timeline. After the Battle of Endor, the Galactic Empire splintered into several factions led by various charismatic warlords, which fought amongst themselves as the central Imperial government continued to war against the newly-proclaimed New Republic. This "Warlord Period" ended in 7 ABY with both the defeat of Warlord Zsinj and the Liberation of Coruscant. The majority of Imperials remaining have defected to Ardus Kaine's Pentastar Alignment, and the Empire is effectively dead as a polity, with only some dead-enders in the Deep Core keeping the name alive. As the Republic continues to hunt for Imperial war criminals, the galactic status quo has settled into a cold war between them and the Pentastar Alignment, with neither side willing to fire the first shot despite hostile relations. While the Republic governs much of the galaxy, other players also hold territory and influence as well, including the Mandalorians, the Central Committee of Grand Moffs, the New Confederacy of Independent Systems, organized crime groups, and a dark power rising in the shadowy corners of the galaxy...

The New Republic: After the Battle of Yavin, the Rebellion restructured itself into the New Republic, initially based on Chandrila. Over the next several years, the Republic waged a campaign against the fracturing Empire, securing the Galactic South and the Core before finally liberating Coruscant in 7 ABY. A series of escalating scandals brought down the leadership of Mon Mothma the following year, and she was succeeded in her role by Leia Organa, who pushed through governmental reforms and currently serves as the Republic's Chief of State, with Cal Omas as her Prime Minister. The Republic now sits at a crossroads, with several political factions vying to influence its destiny - including a right-wing political coalition led by Mon Mothma's daughter Leida.

The Neimoidian Socialist Confederation: After the election of socialist Thog Rutak as Trade Monarch, Neimoidian society was thrown into a civil war in which the socialists emerged victorious, and set about reforming Neimoidian society and nationalizing the Trade Federation. The confederation has grown to include much of the former Corporate Sector after its own socialist revolution, and is aligned with the Republic as an independent affiliated observer state.

The Pentastar Alignment: The largest and most successful of the post-Endor Imperial splinter states, the Pentastar Alignment, known in Republic space increasingly as simply the Imperial Remnant, controls most of the galaxy from Ord Mantell northwards. It has been so successful largely by avoiding conflict with the Republic and the Mandalorians, instead targeting smaller Imperial warlords including Warlord Zsinj. Pentastar has absorbed much of the remaining Imperial fleet and many of its greatest remaining military minds, including Grand Admirals Martio Batch and Gilad Pellaeon, the latter of whom acts as supreme commander of the Pentastar fleet. Governed from Bastion, the Pentastar Alignment is led by Ardus Kaine, former Grand Moff of Oversector Outer. Though he has taken the title of Legate in reference to military leaders of Bastion's ancient history, in all but name he is Emperor, and inspires great loyalty in his men.

The Bright Jewel Free Trade Zone: For a year beginning in 8 ABY, The Republic and the Pentastar Alignment fought an undeclared war over control of the important trade hub Ord Mantell. To prevent the conflict's escalation into a wider war, the belligerents covertly agreed to withdraw their forces and establish a free trade zone in the Bright Jewel Sector. Nominally independent, the zone is home to the Great Game, a covert competition between the Pentastar Intelligence Agency and the New Republic Intelligence Service to establish influence over Ord Mantell.

The Hapes Consortium: The small, independent enclave of the matriarchal Hapans has gone unmolested since Endor. Chief of State Organa is planning a diplomatic mission in the hopes of bringing them into the Republic.

The Chiss Ascendancy: In the Unknown Regions, the Chiss control their territory and watch for threats known only to them. They have not established relations with the Republic.

The New Confederacy of Independent Systems: After Endor, rather than joining the New Republic, a group of former Separatist worlds, led by Magisterial Porro Linn of Balan-Quod and mainly from the Tion Cluster, formed a revival of the CIS. They have received little support, and have not normalized relations with the Republic.

Black Sun, the Iron Triad, the Exchange, et al.: In the wake of Endor and the decimation of the Hutts, organized crime has grown in power. Several worlds in the Galactic south and former Hutt Space are now openly run by crime organizations, in particular the Iron Triad, founded by former Imperial officer Ubrik Adelhard, which is based on Klatooine. After the death of Prince Xizor, the leadership of Black Sun remains unclear.

The Central Committee of Grand Moffs: A small group of Grand Moffs working in concert with Supreme Slavelord Trioculus of Kessel - who claims to be the Emperor's son - has monopolized the spice trade with a small fleet of Imperial ships, conquering the Pyke Syndicate and incorporating it into their own operations. They are considered of least concern to the Republic.

The Imperial Royalist Confederation: After Ysanne Isard launched a coup in late 4 ABY, Sate Pestage and Mas Amedda fled Coruscant for the fortified Deep Core, where they set up their own government on the Emperor's throneworld of Byss. There Amedda rules as Imperial Regent, surrounded by sycophants, and the Republic is content to let him stew.

Mando’ade Aliite be Te Anila Grat’ua Mand’alor (United Clans of Mandalore): After Endor, Death Watch veteran Vasili of clan Bev’miir, who had spent several years uniting the disparate Mandalorian clans, launched an assault on the Empire's holdings in Mandalorian space. After securing Mandalore, Bev'miir, now known as Mandalore the Uniter, waged war to expand Mandalorian space to historical heights, helping to crush the Warlord Zsinj and destroy the power base of the Hutts. Since securing the borders of Mandalorian space, Bev'miir has been content to rule his worlds in relative peace, reforming Mandalorian society and restoring the supremacy of the clans. He recently signed a treaty alongside Chief of State Organa in which the Republic recognized him as the legitimate representative of the Mandalorian people and his government's sovereignty over the worlds it controls.

The True Mandalorians: Supporters of Bo-Katan Kryze's claim to lead the Mandalorians, including her own Nite Owls and several smaller clans, united as the True Mandalorians and attempted to gain their own foothold to unite the Mandalorians. While the Republic recognized Kryze as the true leader of the Mandalorians and offered support, ultimately Kryze's forces were only able to secure Onderon's moon Dxun, losing the planet Jabiim to Bev'miir's faction. Now, languishing on the jungle moon, they have lost even Republic recognition, and their future is uncertain.

The Hutt Empire: Campaigns by the Mandalorians and Iron Triad, and a revolt of the Evocii on what was once Nal Hutta, have destroyed most of the Hutts' power in the galaxy. Individual crimelords such as Dertykop of Taris or Teemo of Tatooine still exert power, but the Ruling Council retreated to Varl and the Bootana Hutta, there to rule what remained of Hutt Space. The Council was overthrown in 8 ABY by the warlord Muuka, who has proclaimed himself the new Emperor of the Hutts, declaring that the Hutts must return to their ancient ways of warfare and conquest to survive and reconquer their rightful territory.

The Proto-Sith: A number of dark side factions, including the Knights of Ren, the Prophets of the Dark Side, the Lost Tribe, elements of the Reborn and the Inquisition, and the Sorcerers of Tund have gathered in what was once Sith Space and the Centrality. The Rule of Two died with Palpatine and Vader at Endor, and it is time once again for the Sith to cheat death…

There are also several factions which hold little to no territory, but which have a great deal of galactic influence regardless:

Moff Royen's Imperial Remnant: A small fleet of ships which remains independent of the other major Imperial remnants, mainly patrolling the Red Hand Cluster.

The New Jedi Order: After a quest of several years to uncover secrets of the Force and find Force-sensitive recruits, Luke Skywalker, now a Jedi Master, has reformed the Jedi Order, heading the new Jedi Council. He has established a temple on Tython to headquarter his Order, which numbers around 100 Jedi, both survivors of the old Order and new recruits. The Order is independent of the Republic, but a treaty of friendship between them saw the Republic establish a fleet to defend Tython and the Order from threats.

The Children of Ghorman: The Republic Commision for the Prosecution of War Crimes and Crimes against Civilization was established in 6 ABY for the prosecution of Imperial war criminals. Valarr Ulgo, an Alderaanian former ISB officer and member of Republic Intelligence, formed the Children of Ghorman in order to secure these criminals, a group of Rebel veterans who were all impacted personally by Imperial atrocities with the sole objective of capturing those Imperials who were beyond the Republic's reach and bringing them to justice.

The Mining Guild: The fall of the Empire was a boon for the Mining Guild, which regained its independence. Under the leadership of Athor Skarhill, the Guild has moved in a left-wing direction, and affiliated itself with Garm Bel Iblis' People's Union Party.

[vaguely-concerned]

A Stitch In Time First Read Reactions & Thoughts Monster Post Part 1

Basically exactly what it says on the tin! I kept making notes while I was reading and somehow it grew into this sprawling monstrosity that had to be split into three parts haha. In short: I loved this book, 10/10 incredibly gay and full of yearning Garak is there the whole time would recommend. 

Quotes from the book in normal text, my reflections, reactions and self-indulgent bits in italics :) Please, please only click on that read-more if you're ready for some truly long-winded nonsense, I fear I have gone and been extremely myself about this and I can only beg your forbearance for it while I get it out of my system lol

Part 2, Part 3

- My dear Doctor:

Forgive my delay in responding to your kind communications. I wanted to give this modest chronicle I’ve enclosed a modicum of organization and update it before I sent it on to you. Thank you for your concern. I have thought of you often since our last meeting, and I am pleased to hear that your life on Deep Space 9 remains challenging and productive. Considering all the changes that have taken place I would have expected nothing less. And I’m certainly not surprised that your research proposals have been accepted. You’re a brilliant young scientist—even if you are genetically enhanced. As for my life here …

This is such a deceptively innocuous and normal-sounding beginning to what is about to be an extremely unnormal and unhinged thing to send a friend as a letter. He made it all of one paragraph of keeping it chill and I honestly think that’s pretty impressive all things considered. Thankfully Julian Bashir — who, let’s not forget, gave Jadzia his fucking diaries to read after much shorter acquaintanceship than what what we’re operating on here — is possibly the one person in the galaxy with the unhinged energy to take it.  

(‘I have thought of you often’ he says. And how., as we shall see)

- Yes—I’m afraid you weren’t expecting this response to your kind inquiry; it goes a bit further than “Greetings from Cardassia—Wish you were here.”

Fhksjdfhasdkj well. In spirit that is exactly what you’re saying tho garak fhdskjaas. It’s just that you’re also pathologically incapable of shutting the hell up and for this I love and treasure you. 

- So why Captain Sisko is so upset with me because I accomplished the goal (which he established!) of getting Romulus into the war against the Dominion baffles me. And it’s not because of the few lives that were sacrificed. Federation expansion has taken a toll in countless life-forms—about most of which they are blissfully unaware. The moment you step into a garden and begin to cultivate and prune, you become a killer. Perhaps the captain was upset because he had hesitated to do what was necessary to insure the integrity of his garden. Sentimentality is another trait that makes humans dangerous.

*Garak voice* Julian please tell me why your boss is so mad at me I literally solved all his problems for him. for which he’s wELCOME btw

Eyes open for recurring metaphors about gardeners, Tolan is haunting this narrative and it’s only polite to say hello whenever he shows up

- Indulge me, if you will; I need you as a witness.

Can I just say how fucking wild it is in terms of character development for Garak to openly admit he needs someone interpersonally. Incredibly fucked up that he writes both parts of this directly to Julian, though — both the part where he’s pretty sure he’s going to die trying to free Cardassia from the Dominion, and the ‘now’ timeline on post-war Cardassia where he seems to be dazedly coming to the realization that he might live, actually, and what that means to him. 

- As a child I would go to the Tarlak Sector with Father, and while he supervised his crews I’d play by myself amid the black-and-white angularity of the monuments, imagining myself a great gul or legate giving the funeral oration for a fallen comrade. 

Already we are starting to spot the thread, if you’ll excuse the expression, of why Garak might be Like That

I also came to admire Damar’s idealism, which led him to renounce his allegiance to the Dominion. If he had one weakness it was his propensity for long-winded speeches. But given the fact that none of us are perfect, the man would have made a fine leader.

As I stood at the memorial service, I thought about all the grand affairs I had witnessed here when I was a boy. None of our famed heroes and statesmen has ever had such a humble service—and none of them, from Tret Akleen on, deserved more than Corat Damar.

You are a species of long-winded speakers and Pythas Lok 

- Dr. Parmak, the unit leader, worked furiously to stabilize the little girl, and when she was evacuated by the transport unit he broke down. He’s a very good man, this Dr. Parmak; he reminds me of an older version of you, Doctor. 

Introducing Dr. Kelas Parmak, last seen in the then-noodle incident mentioned in The Die is Cast. Quite possibly the chillest person who has ever lived, considering he gets over the whole thing where Garak like tortured him pretty fast. (To be fair Garak DID say he was sorry. Between this case and Odo’s, that apparently goes a surprisingly long way lol) 

- But Garak, you’ll say, there’s no excuse for killing a defenseless woman. And there isn’t… unless you’ve been brought up in our system.

I love that he keeps a little Julian around in his head to talk to at all times. That’s one of the most freakishly intimate things in this whole book of freakish intimacy. Garak has a little Tain on one shoulder and a little Julian on the other shoulder and they have heated debates as to the validity of murder as a solution to any given problem that’s put before him

- I also thought about this Cardassian sense of duty and how it is largely responsible for bringing those of us who are left to these current circumstances. I asked Dr. Parmak how an entire people can come under the sway of this duty and blindly give allegiance to a state that goes mad and murders its own children.

“Poisonous pedagogy, Elim,” he replied. “We believe what we are taught.”

Poison/Disease contagion is a metaphor that will wind through this whole thing,and different people mean different things by it. Parmak means it about The Facism, which is the right one. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that Dukat Sr. has a rather different spin on it, and that he’s wrong! 

- But Tain at home was anything but mysterious. It was not unusual for Uncle Enabran to appear and take me away on some excursion that involved a long walk through a section of the city. During these walks he’d test my awareness, and challenge me to describe a house or a person we’d just passed. If I hadn’t been paying attention and couldn’t remember the details, the walk was over and we’d silently return home under the oppressive weight of his disapproval. He also seemed to know how I was performing at school, and if he wasn’t satisfied with my progress or behavior he’d punish me. I was a hard worker but I had a mischievous streak, and I enjoyed getting others involved in questionable activities and arranging it so they were found out and took the blame. On those rare occasions when I was caught, Tain would somehow find out and punish me—not for my misdeed, but for having been caught. And after he discovered my fear of small, dark spaces, his favorite punishment became keeping me in one until I had convinced him that I had analyzed and fully understood how my mischievous scheme had gone wrong. I found it odd that Mother and Father never had anything to say about these punishments.

. . . 

At first I thought I was in trouble, and my face must have reflected this fear because Father attempted to reassure me with a forced smile. But the uncharacteristic falsity of his behavior and his barely concealed agitation only made the situation worse. I had never seen him like this. Mother’s face was a mask; it revealed nothing. She spoke as if I needed to clean off the day’s work before we ate.

Garak treats him and Bashir ‘drifting apart’ the same way he describes his young self being trained by Tain to go over his ‘mistakes’ — what did I do wrong? You also see it (almost most heartbreakingly to me) from Tolan when he gets sharper out of worry at the end of the scene where the agent comes to take Garak away to the Bamarren Institute: 

I was stunned. I wanted to ask more, I wanted to ask about the dedication ceremony that afternoon, but I didn’t dare. Father had that look when one of the workers didn’t get it right the first time. But what had I done wrong? 

Oh buddy. He’s so fucking confused. The only thing you’ve done wrong yet is having been born with some connection to Enabran Tain, Elim, I’m so sorry

- We were the “missing pieces”—and in order to find our place in the mosaic of civilized society, we had to be broken down and reconstructed from the bottom up.

Keep your eyes open for ‘broken down and reconstructed’ too, it will be on the final test lol

- The good captain gave me one of his bemused stares.

Sisko ILU. He’s not in this book a lot so I’ll take the chance to say it here, because I do. 

- It was explained to us that until we became disciplined in our relations with the “complementary gender” we would make better progress this way. When I asked One Tarnal how we would learn this discipline without interaction between the sexes, he blinked and mumbled something about “distractions.” When I asked what that meant I was told that I had a loose mouth and given five days of hygiene-chamber maintenance as punishment.

“You don’t know enough to ask so many questions.”

Elim 'Genuinely & Guilelessly Too Deeply Pansexual To Be Able To Follow This Logic’ Garak

- Pythas/Eight descriptions because this is a bad mutual crush situation: 

- Unfortunately, the only student left was quiet Eight Lubak, who kept completely to himself. He agreed to accompany me and quickly moved to the door. He was short and slender, and his dark eyes and long lashes made him look younger than the rest of us. He was almost too delicate for a Cardassian. I was not encouraged … but I had no choice.

‘Dark eyes and long lashes’ huh lol

I started to follow him, but he made it clear that I should stay where I was and wait. All during this, Eight was quiet and controlled—and as sure of himself as if he’d done this many times. How did he know where he was going?

. . .

His face was dark, intense with concentration; his brow ridges, which were unusually pronounced, cast shadows over his eyes. My heart began to pound when I realized what Eight was planning. These were certain to be older students, but he expressed no hesitation, no doubt.

. . .

I didn’t know then if I could ever call Eight a friend. Something about him was strange and impenetrable. But it didn’t matter. At least I knew there was one person in my section I could trust. How I had misjudged him. It was obvious that Eight had what Cardassians call a ferocious spirit—and that I could learn a great deal from him.

. . .

Eight also came from a “service” family background, and it was soon clear to everyone that he should have been designated One Lubak, a fact not lost on the actual holder of that designation who, judging from his behavior and speech, came from the highest echelons of our society.

. . .

Five was an athlete who also did well in class. I could see that he was attracted to Eight. As indeed I was. 

Big round of applause for Andrew Robinson managing to sneak the skywritten subtext into the text like this, it’s an exceedingly rare gift to get to have from the media of this time 

. . .

But by then the group had passed. What murk? Me? Have all the others been captured? Surely not Eight. I couldn’t believe that was possible.

. . .

The only member of my group who performed as well in all areas was the taciturn Eight.

. . .

The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

. . .

Eight remained for a few more minutes. I had the feeling that he wanted to say something more to me. Suddenly he turned and disappeared behind a barrier. The air was filled with whatever went unsaid. He was as shy as anyone I had ever known.

The boys are being useless lesbians at each other omg……… what must this whole mess look like from Pythas’ POV tho. He’s been keeping an eye on his friend/crush so he doesn’t get himself killed by running his mouth off too much to the wrong person and before he knows it the guy is embroiled in an inadvisable bisexual sandwich of betrayal and savage intrigue. I wonder if anything would have been different if Garak and Pythas had managed to actually talk to each other here.   

- Eight was the only person who deserved number One as much as I did—maybe more. My solitary behavior was not always in service to the group. Eight and I exchanged encouraging looks. The support of my one constant friend was all I wanted. I sat there and shut out everything else.

*Garak whenever someone prefers Pythas over him* understandable honestly I’d do the same thing he’s the best have a nice day

End Pythas/Eight teen crush corner

- My mind wandered. I was sure that I heard sounds of the women students gusting with the winds. Suddenly mother materialized … she looked like she was apologizing. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her, but her image dissolved and … Father took her place. I knew he was telling me something very important, but I was growing dizzy and afraid that I’d join Six on the ground … his words were carried away by the winds.

Suffering and agony

Some assorted 'Just assure me that I'm not going mad, Doctor'/Garak's ever-tenuous grip on his mental health moments:

-I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised that he knew. Instead, I was grateful; it told me I wasn’t going mad.

A recurring worry for him I’m sure it means nothing! I feel the same fellowship with him as I do with Harrow in The Locked Tomb series, which I’m sure says even less, don’t worry about it.  

And how do we even begin to rebuild a world that doesn’t exist anymore? A world that exists in my mind with the same arid bitterness as the dust in my mouth. I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It’s almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.

“Why save him?” it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. “You’re only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?”

I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn’t there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I’m sure I must have looked like a madman. Dr. Parmak tried to send me home, but I refused—alone it’s even worse.

I’m just imagining Julian arriving on Cardassia like ‘hey yeah I got your letter and we should fuck about it right now but first of all have you told Parmak you’ve been having vivid hallucinations again because that’s very relevant medical information Garak!!!’ 

- But it was in the Pit and my work with Calyx that I suffered the most. My dreaming made me “an air man.”

“You have no grip, no focus. How can you find your strength if you can’t hold your place? Living in your dreams is like living in exile.”

*whisper* pls don't...

- As I tried to put faces on the shadowy children, they began to approach me. They became more distinct as they moved through the rain and haze. Can you believe it, Doctor? They weren’t my schoolmates; they were the Cardassian orphans from the Resettlement Center on Bajor we once visited. The orphans left after the Cardassian occupation forces withdrew. The same young girl was their leader and her lips formed the same question.

Have you come to take us home?

I jumped up. I felt the shed closing in, threatening to swallow me. I ran out into the rain and gloom.

“There is no home anymore! Can’t you see that? Look around you! It’s gone!” I screamed at them and fell to my knees in the sodden waste. They continued to stare back with that same look of fragile trust that I would somehow relieve them of their fear and bring them home. I couldn’t look at them anymore and dropped down into the muck. My despair was no longer just a voice; it was this monstrous world the evil had created, and it surrounded and overwhelmed me.

I don’t know how long I remained curled up in the mud. I felt myself being lifted and half carried, half dragged back into my shed. It was Dr. Parmak. He cleaned and changed me as best he could. He prepared a cup of Tarkalean tea, which made me think of you, Doctor. How ironic, another doctor pulls old Elim out of the muck of his despair, but this time he’s a Cardassian.

The fact that in the episode itself, Garak (in a haze of endorphins and practiced dissociation) is barely like ‘yes yes I’m sure we’re ALL very upset about the orphans. Or whatever. Well what do you want me to do about it Doctor it’s just the way of the world’ and then it just haunts him horrifically for the rest of his life forever and ever the end! Very on brand.  

Garak does seem to genuinely like and care for children in general, which makes my heart all weird and sad

Also Parmak making Tarkalean tea and Garak being like ‘oh. Like Julian :’(‘ about it my HEART. The fact that he’s a serial befriender of very patient kindhearted doctors willing to put up with his nonsense is probably the only reason he’s still alive lol. Thank u Parmak

- A difficult move under pressure against strong physical resistance from an opponent … and something would snap. A painful blow might set it off, a whispered insult, perhaps just a thought or a feeling of hopelessness, and I would suddenly lose control and lash out like a madman. I became suffused with a raging, crimson anger that poured out from some black hole somewhere deep inside me.

I feel like we see the outlines of this still in him by the time of the show — more tucked away and harnessed, but definitely still there. He’s got an instinctive Fight response a mile wide, it’s just that these days he mostly expresses it by becoming incredibly fucking MEAN when he feels threatened rather than outright physical attack. 

- And there was a soothing quality as it spoke of dry legal definitions. It acted as a balm for my bruises and bitterness. I began to feel such longings. It was like hearing music that you love when you least expect it. How I missed Mother, and working with Father in the flower beds. How I longed for home. I dropped my guard and surrendered to the voice. The tears I was determined never to shed accompanied choking waves of shame and relief, sadness and joy. I finally was able to admit to myself how unhappy I was.

*me with my magnifying glass studying the Palandine/Bashir parallels* listening to Bashir talk about Federation nonsense things presumably fills much the same niche in Garak’s psyche as this haha

- “I assure you, I am not in the habit of attacking people I don’t know in public places. We got our feet tangled in the crush, and he went down—just as, moments before, I nearly wiped out the scent display when he ignored the fact that I was standing in his path. I trust he’s not hurt.”

“I expect more from you, Garak,” Odo lectured. “We’re all under a great deal of strain.”

“As am I, Constable. Please, sit down at least. I feel like a schoolboy being disciplined by the docent.”

Odo sighed and awkwardly perched on the barstool next to mine. 

Their dynamic is. Everything to me. Also we learn later that the guy Garak picks a fight with here because he’s upset Julian is hanging out with Miles (lmao oh… buddy) isn’t just anyone or on impulse, but is one of the most hostile-to-Garaks Bajorans on the entire station with a small gang behind him, and Garak knows exactly who he is. Which lends it a certain… something. Almost an edge of very roundabout self-harm.  

“I can’t stay long. I have to finish dealing with this …”

“ … situation,” I finished. “You’re very fortunate, Odo.”

“How so?” he asked.

“These people have come to trust you. They rely upon you. You’ve made a real connection here.”

Odo merely grunted. I was careful not to mention Major Kira, knowing how reserved he was on the subject.

“Do you still want to go home?” I asked.

The question startled Odo, and for a moment the mask of official reserve dropped from his face. This was the first time I had brought up the subject since his admission to me during the “interrogation” in the Romulan warbird and Tain’s ill-fated attempt to destroy the Founders’ homeworld.

“ I … can’t say,” he replied ambiguously.

“Well, I can. There’s certainly nothing here to keep me.”

“I never told you how sorry I was about Ziyal’s death.” Odo could be quite sensitive in such matters.

“You did, actually,” I nodded. “But thank you.”

“Still, you and Dr. Bashir have created a strong bond.”

“Not really,” I answered quickly. “I’m afraid that what I have to offer has run its course. It’s certainly no match for darts.” I heard the bitterness of my tone, and so did Odo. We sat in silence for a moment.

“I understand you’ll be involved in the invasion. You must be pleased.” Odo steered us away from the heaviness that had descended.

. . . 

“When do you want to schedule your consultation?” I asked. Odo—no doubt influenced by his budding relationship with the Major—was about to branch out sartorially. But it occurred to me that Quark was the last person he wanted to know about it.

“We’ll talk,” he replied, nodding to Quark as he briskly marched back to the Promenade.

AHdorable all around. Hilarious that Odo picked up on trouble in human/lizard paradise and, with the vigor of a person who has freshly had love work out for them for the first time, going ‘not on my fucking watch you’ll talk to each other if it’s the last thing I do’. Also the sheer readiness with which he expects Julian to be Garak’s safe place. What on earth does this relationship look like to outside observers. Especially to Odo, practiced observer of humanoid folly, who completely nails Garak’s whole deal in Improbable Cause to the point that Garak lashes out defensively over it.   

- My solitary confinement was agony. The only way I got through it was to rethink all my attitudes about the Pit and the Wilderness and to focus on how I could make my stratagems more effective. Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?

Going through the whole book it is so stunningly awful that this IS the logic his inner world is shaped around for the vast majority of his life, right up until the ‘present’ part of the storyline where it’s being slowly deconstructed and reassembled. 

- I apologized to the others for disrupting their family; I explained that I had great need of this creature. Not only was Mila (as I eventually called him) the answer to my current problem, he was as important as any of the docents at Bamarren, with the possible exception of Calyx.

;_______________________________________________________________; there’s no part of this that isn’t crushing

Unlike the last time, I had preparation and an ally.

Tain really had to work at deadening Garak’s ability to form loyalty to anything else but him, because left to his own devices and natural instinct Garak will clearly packbond with ANYTHING. He’s so desperate to belong to someone and be loyal to them. 

- As the sun came up, the otherworldly beauty of the Wilderness was gradually revealed by each succeeding gradation of light. I was deeply moved by the presence of so much color in what had initially looked like a dead world to me. Beginning with a cold pale gray, the dawn flowed through a range of blues and into the softest rose and pink and then to a hot red that soon gave way to the merciless bleached bone-white of midday. I was able to see how much territory I had covered the previous night.

Can I just say how unspeakably tender it is that he takes the time to write this out in this. It serves literally no purpose in this narrative but sentiment — to be beautiful. He saw something beautiful once that moved him and he wants to share it with someone. What the fuck. 

- I became increasingly concerned; the sun was getting higher, and the overhanging ledge was now my last source of shade. At one point I took Mila out of his wrapping to check on his condition. At least that’s what I told myself. I was afraid that if I was honest and admitted that the real reason was to solicit help from a regnar, the slide into total insanity would be swift and sure. I was getting desperate.

The funniest and saddest thing I’ve ever read fhdskjfas emotional support regnar that he names after his fucking MUM hours. There are things going on with Garak no psychologist could ever hope to get to the bottom of 

- Three more members of the Furtan group were on the other side of the rock formation, but Mila had found a hidden depression that required some quiet digging to get into, and we avoided detection. We settled in and resealed the opening with sand and loose rocks. After an indeterminate period, the Furtan hunters left. As we waited for nightfall I fell into a deep sleep. 

BB!Elim and regnar Mila like ‘OUR secret hiding spot’. (Seeing how much garak both craves and thrives on getting to have that sense of ‘we’ and fellowship tho. And knowing that’s going to be not only deliberately kept from him but made psychologically impossible for him for a very long time. We should bring Tain back to life so we can kill him again and more painfully actually. Mercymorn acid jail for a thousand years time.)

- While I understood that I would have to watch my step with One Charaban, I also acknowledged that I had never been in a manlier or more attractive presence. It was like encountering an ideal that I’d only dreamed about. As I walked back to my section and accepted the congratulations of my mates, I was baffled not so much by the appearance of this new and commanding person in my life as by my recognition of his strong connection to me. But what connection?

Baby pansexual disaster at his finest

- The other day, the Doctor, Odo, and I were at the Replimat having lunch, an event that Odo, after our conversation, had taken it upon himself to organize.

. . . 

“But what about you, Doctor?” I asked, returning to the business at hand. “It seems there’s a movement afoot to have you replace Captain Sisko.” The doctor winced.

“Is this true?” Odo asked. We both looked to the doctor for confirmation. He sighed.

“There’s a group of … genetically enhanced people who feel that one of their own should be guiding the station during this emergency, and they’ve petitioned the Federation Council, but it’s Jack and his group, and no one takes them…” Exasperated, he broke off. “Garak, how did you hear about this?”

“My clientele talk and I listen.” This was also true: an idiot savant who wears his presumed genetic superiority like a badge of privilege walked into my shop and never stopped talking. Of course I encouraged him, and by the time he left I had heard all about some organized attempt to elevate Dr. Bashir to the leadership position. I could see that the doctor was upset that I’d divulged this information. Clearly this genetic business was not his favorite topic of conversation.

“Is this something we should keep an eye on?” Odo asked, studying us carefully.

“No, not at all,” the Doctor assured him. “It’s just Jack’s people. This was nearly a year ago, and I’m afraid they have too much time on their hands—like some other people I know.” He pointedly looked away from me as Odo continued to study us, trying to decode the undercurrent of this last exchange between us. No wonder he was such a capable security operative. Odo registered every change in tone and temperature and tracked the change down to its cause.

“Tell me something, Garak.” It was clear that he had found an opening for one of those deferred questions he kept on a prioritized list somewhere in his changeling head. He was still a basically shy and tactful person, especially when it came to other people’s business, but lately he’d become more openly inquisitive. I wondered if it was Major Kira’s influence.

Matchmaker/self-appointed and woefully under-equipped marriage counselor Odo……….you are Everything to me you dumb beige bitch. Garak goes a bit aggro in return when he tries to get too close to something tender but honestly odo buddy gooey friend of my heart maybe you shouldn’t barge into this particular glassware shop like a rampaging elephant huh someone’s going to get cut. Also Garak could have refrained from pressing on Julian’s bruises for attention here and we may not have had the rest of the scene, but alas. 

This must be the lunch where we deal with uncomfortable subjects.

“But if Cardassia is liberated from Dominion control …” Odo went on.

“When Cardassia is liberated,” I interrupted.

“Would you return?”

“Would you return to the Great Link?” Odo reacted with sharp annoyance to the question.It wasn’t a fair one, because although we were both exiles, we were in very different circumstances. With the humanoid shape he was still learning to live with, and his deepening relationship with Major Kira, Odo was discovering a new mode of existence, a new link. He had an alternative, however difficult the choice. I didn’t.

“Yes, I know. You can’t say.” I was sorry I had asked again. It was a question he was obviously struggling with.

The feeling Garak seems to have towards Odo in this period where like… you know when you have a friend who has a lot of the same mental health issues as you do and you see them get better and start to flourish and you are genuinely so happy for them but also feel just how deep in the muck you yourself still are with no prospect of getting out. And the way Garak consistently wistfully includes Odo’s romantic relationship to Kira when he observes how he’s coming out of his shell and why he has reasons to stay. 

“Would you return to the same Cardassia?” the doctor asked.

“What do you mean ‘same’?” But I knew perfectly well what he meant.

“To a Cardassia containing the political and social elements that made the current situation possible.”

“My dear Doctor, that’s also the Cardassia that made me possible.” I half-hoped my joke would end this conversation … but I knew better.

Julian baby please read the room and take this up some other time somewhere private maybe (and yet I understand how you wouldn’t think of that until later once Garak’s had a rare public freakout)

Absolutely heartbreaking in every way that garak seems so convinced he must have done something wrong or simply doesn’t have anything more of interest to offer julian and that’s why they’re drifting apart, when a just as likely reading from what’s actually on the page here is that julian feels he keeps getting it wrong and hesitates in case he makes the damage worse. Garak have you considered who this man is before you decided you must have fucked up and resigned yourself to the dark closet of self-isolation tain put in your head. I’m in shambles. 

Also Julian is saying a lot of very true things about Cardassia in this scene that Garak needs to hear and that he’s clearly processing all through the rest of his time on DS9 and beyond, as angry as it makes him, and the good doctor means so well but he IS being incredibly condescending, and he keeps pushing even as Garak is signaling he’d rather not go in depth on this, especially in such an exposed public setting. (This is a conversation they SHOULD be having in private, both for emotional reasons and b/c Garak’s position on this station is a lot more vulnerable than I think Julian realizes, as the hostile comments he immediately starts getting during this convo show.) I mean I guess it’s not this man’s fault he is fundamentally British and autistic what can a bitch do fdjslkfhasj (I say this with all the love in my fellow autistic heart, please do not misunderstand me here). But it’s a very Julian well-meaning but flawed thing to do — he’s focusing on the principle and intellectual side of it, but he’s not taking into account that just maybe having to deconstruct the entirety of your worldview and belief system and then feel responsible for implementing them to create a better world afterwards could be an emotionally fraught process that requires not only reasoned political debate but personal, emotional support from a friend. He isn’t getting that Garak isn’t so much categorically resistant to the basic ideas he’s setting forth — it’s that he wants to be convinced on a practical level that it could even work, because otherwise it’s just a useless pretty picture. 

(Which is a big part of their dynamic on many levels, I’ve always felt. All those times he challenges Julian’s more hopeful and idealistic world view — ultimately he doesn’t do that because he wants to break Julian’s faith down until he agrees with him, he does it because somewhere deep down Garak wants to be convinced. He wants there to be hope somewhere in the world, even if he won’t buy the quick and glorified ‘it’s easy to be a saint in paradise’ Federation version of it. And Julian’s version isn’t that, in the end; it gets tested again and again and he really, genuinely means it, even when it’s hard. Which is one of the most healing things about his presence in Garak’s life overall.) 

Ironically I also think Julian believes so much in Garak and his capabilities that it simply doesn’t occur to him that Garak as a private person might just be like. Too scared and overwhelmed to even contemplate this, at least until Garak is upset enough that he can’t gracefully hide it. (“With your background and experience, Garak, I’m certain that you could serve as a liaison between a new Cardassian government and the Federation.” The Doctor paused and waited for a response. None was forthcoming. “I once suggested that you visit Earth as a member of the Cardassian government-in-exile….” oh so no biggie then Julian that sounds easy and painless and I’m surprised no one has thought to do this yet, this Obsidian Order wilted leftover sandwich of a guy is surely going to be welcomed with open arms wherever he goes among his people fhsdakjfas!)

I feel like this is one of Julian’s less sympathetic traits that he would probably feel such intense self-loathing about once he realized it’s one he shares with his father — this instinct to try to shape someone into a ‘better’ version of themselves. I think Julian’s version of this primarily comes from a much, MUCH kinder place than in his father; he has the will and ability to see the best in the world and in people, and he can’t help but want them to live up to that once he’s seen it. He fundamentally believes people can be better, can be good, when given the help and tools they need, and that’s such a beautiful part of him. BUT along with that there is also a danger of that tipping over into becoming paternalistic and controlling, of overly privileging the ideal you see over the person who is actually there right now, and trying to forcibly change the one into the other ‘for them’.  

Considering Garak’s past experiences of being shaped and controlled by someone else’s idea of what he should be, I’m if anything surprised he doesn’t react worse to this, honestly! I think it speaks to the basic trust and goodness that exists between them that he doesn’t. Julian is clumsy but not malicious, and even here Garak does recognize that on some deep level.   

(Probably because he’s also been touched by Julian at his best, in The Wire — where his support and acceptance is absolute and unconditional, free of the instinct to control anything.)

My voice had risen to an uncharacteristic pitch. It was still ringing in my ears as the Doctor stared at me as if he were studying a baffling microbe. I, too, was baffled. I had no idea where this outburst came from. I know that a distance has widened between us during the past year or so and I know that the holosuite program incident and the revelations of his genetic enhancement are the symptoms of this distance rather than the cause. It’s only natural—we’re very different people. I also know that he had only the best intentions in suggesting that I use the Federation model in order to influence the future of Cardassia. Misguided, yes, and somewhat patronizing and arrogant, but hardly sufficient to elicit this embarrassing and public loss of control.

I mumbled some sad excuse which the good Doctor and Odo were kind enough not to challenge and left the Replimat to return to my shop. As I passed Quark’s I caught his eye and we nodded. Why I included him in my outburst also puzzled me; I rather admire his industry and resourcefulness. I especially admire the way he consistently bends Federation rules so that they work for him.

That’s such a fair evaluation of Bashir’s intentions and personality honestly. Even this upset and feeling that distance between them, Garak still has complete trust in the Doctor’s basic good intentions and nature. (Are you really such very different people at the end of the day, though, Elim. Should the genetic enhancement arc maybe be telling you something here.)

Also such a hilarious element of the Garak-Quark relationship.’Sorry to get you caught up in the crossfire bro I’ve never thought of you as anything but an avaricious opportunist (complimentary)’  

What is important is that I feel that I am necessary, that I function with all my faculties in the service of a greater cause. And while I wait for this invasion, is making Odo more attractive to Major Kira a greater cause?

It is in fact nothing but the greatest cause Garak. Getting Kira happily lovingly laid is priority one at all times. 

- I had no real friends to speak of, and told myself that loneliness was the price I had to pay for success. I considered the games and behavior of my mates to be childish, and that any unnecessary interaction would only distract me from my work. The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

(I feel like this whole part is going to hit Julian in some kind of way lmao)

Literally just. Put me in a little box on the bottom of the ocean and leave me there forever I can’t go on. Also he’s SUCH a clever-but-socially-inept teenager in this part around the people in his group he doesn’t like fhdkjsa. Ugh they’re all so annoying and fake just leave me alone *eyeroll emoji* I didn’t want to be included in their idiotic conversation bb elim… I would die for your lightly insufferable but entertainingly snarky teenage butt in a way that actually makes me feel more kindly towards my own inner idiot 16 year old.

Also it’s no wonder he’s so out to sea when it comes to interacting with his peers — by all accounts he didn’t play much with other kids as a child and then he’s dropped straight into a social Lord of the Flies piranha tank shot through with Class Shit. 

Inspired by my guide Mila, I would experiment at withdrawing my presence when I had to remain in the same room with people I didn’t like.

Honing his future customer service worker smile 

Here follow some Bamarren and beyond observations I’ve elected to call ‘Sex Stuff’:  

- Oh ok so garak gets some sexual Thing out of being beaten to a pulp after mouthing off through the same mechanism that made spanking known as the ‘English Vice’ across Europe when that was the go-to punishment in British boarding schools. I see. Many things are revealed to me

I looked from the pale, frozen face of Three to the others. They all looked like statues commemorating fear. And I was pleased. I realized at that moment that they were in my control, and that I would no longer have any trouble with them. Especially Three. I felt the power like a drug surging through my system.

And then, of course, the other side of the masochism/sadism scale smoothly coming in, he contains those multitudes. In Garak’s defense idk if you could go through a psychosexual development that wasn’t deeply, deeply weird in this sort of environment 

“What do you want me to do?” I was trembling as if my body were chilled.

Well, I mean. You know fhkdsjha. And he’s rewarded with the first non-aggressive physical contact he’s had here, you say. (For reference he’s talking to Barkan, of the aforementioned ‘manliest presence’.) I’m sure this didn’t awaken anything in him or anything.

“Elim, why do you think we have these ridges?” She stroked the scalloped cords of cartilege and bone that ran along her neck and down her shoulders with a delicacy that stopped my breath. The energy had turned into molten liquid that was now flowing into my groin. The rest of the world was swallowed by complete darkness and I was back inside the tunnel.

“Because … we do,” I replied stupidly.

Fhdjskfhsdjkfhadskjfhas he’s so easy fdsjkfhas. And what a one-two punch of sexual confusion he got there. That one afternoon did irreparable damage to the libidinous development of this poor man and now he has to live like this.

For the second time tonight I was spellbound by another’s passion. In very different ways, Charaban and Palandine held me in their orbit, like powerful suns.

I was learning something new about myself—an emerging desire for power, but a power that had less to do with mastery over others than it did with connecting to them. The way I felt the connection to Charaban … and especially to Palandine.

And, I’m so sorry to have to break it to you like this, your biodad. I’m sorry Elim you’ve got something truly unfortunately Freudian going on here. It’s not your fault.  

“I love the Blind Moon,” Charaban said softly.

“Why is it called that?” I asked, deeply relieved by the mysterious change that had come over us.

“It’s the time for lovers’ assignations,” Palandine answered. “The moon will give them enough light to meet, but not so much for them to be discovered.”

“So if you and Elim were true lovers I wouldn’t have been able to find you,” Charaban teased.

“That’s right, Barkan,” she said with a direct look. I shifted position in the ensuing silence and tried to hide my disappointment with Palandine’s reply, but at the same time, the pleasure I felt in the company of these two people kept growing.

“See?” Palandine suddenly addressed me. “You can do it.”

“What?” I was startled by her delighted burst.

“Smile. Look at that, Barkan. Wouldn’t you tell someone with that smile everything he wanted to know?” she demanded.

“The first time I met him—well, the second…” he corrected himself, “he had a smile that I wanted to wipe off his face.” He was referring to that early morning in front of the Central Gate.

“But it wasn’t that smile,” Palandine insisted.

“No,” he conceded. “Definitely not that one.” And the truth was that I could feel this smile throughout my entire body.

Noooo this is about to go so wrong…it’s all fun and games and bisexual poetry recitation under the blind moon until someone gets stabbed in the back like the Caesar (well caesar notably got stabbed from many many directions but you see what I’m trying to get at here)

- [The Klingon] looked up, and I immediately knew two things about him: he was inebriated beyond reason and he was one of their shock troopers, a callused veteran of hand-to-hand combat. I took a deep breath; as dolts go he was quite impressive. My spirits were suddenly and immeasurably lifted.

“You spoonhead!” he growled at me. I hated that word.

“And you … a great warrior who brings down dabo girls with a single blow,” He looked at me trying to decide if I had insulted or complimented him.

“P’tak!” I shouted, “I mean that you’re the biggest coward in the Klingon Empire,” He released the dabo girl, and as he moved to the narrow stairway I thought that he was also the biggest Klingon in the Empire.

I looked for my advantage. This was not an equal match, and my gigantic friend was in the full flush of a berserker blood lust. I sighed. I’m too old for this, I thought. 

. . .

“Get security, Chief, and tell them to prepare the biggest cell they have … or a smaller coffin for me,” I said as I moved into the alcove and squeezed through the opening where the panel had been. 

 Listen I would apologize for including this here but he’s clearly getting off on this and I couldn’t do anything about it if I wanted to. 

I cannot convey just how much my already intense enjoyment of canon is enriched by the knowledge that Garak is up to these kinds of hijinks constantly in the background when the camera isn’t on him. In his defense he was left unsupervised. O’Brien’s fond mildly exasperated help is just the cherry on top. ‘Well I GUESS Julian would be upset if I let you get beaten to death by a drunk Klingon so fine I’ve got your back’  

(I made for the upper Promenade—and wondered if Calyx might be enjoying this spectacle from wherever he was. ;______; I like how much of an impact Calyx has on his development, considering how briefly he was actually in his life. Plus: Calyx; the Aiglamene of Bamarren? Locked Tomb/DS9 fandom overlap people, Let’s Discuss.) 

“Help me,” he croaked. I was touched by the giant’s childlike surrender. I knew the feeling well.

“I will,” I replied and immediately wondered why I had agreed. I’m getting soft, I thought. 

The greatest joy to me of a lot of this is, like… idk if these are all exactly the things that happened at every turn. In fact I’d say they very likely aren’t, Garak’s entire character taken into consideration. But they are certainly the things he wants someone — someone he trusts as far as he knows how, someone he earnestly wants to be closer to than anyone else, and also wants to see all of him — to know about him, to share in. This could just have easily been a story he told Julian in person over lunch to make him laugh. It’s silly and frivolous and fun, and as much at his own expense as a ludicrous person as to show off. To a true lying liar who lies connoisseur, unreliable narration tells more than it obscures etc. lol  

- (About Barkan) It was the appearance of warmth that made his charm so attractive. A part of me wanted to tell him everything, to challenge the duplicity of his negative evaluation, but the clarity I found in the Lower Prefect’s office was still with me. Looking at him, I was reminded how Palandine had taught me to smile when I asked questions.

Apart from Pythas, who gets his own little twink corner, most of the people Garak is attracted to throughout this are his height or taller and slender but athletic. I’m just saying that when he spotted Julian in the Replimat for the first time he really saw a young man with the face of an angel who is exactly his type fhdjskah maybe he should have seen this coming for himself. Too high on endorphins and hubris to think this would awaken anything in him irrevocably and now he’s stuck with the consequences.  

Why? I asked myself. Why?! For the life of me I could not understand why it was important to her that I respond. Why should she—so beautiful, so alive—be disappointed if I didn’t return her … what? What did she want from me? Friendship? Why me?

I was in turmoil. Her grace and manner, the way she tilted her head and half smiled when she listened, as if everything amused her … it was like a forbidden dream of the unattainable. The attraction was painful because I instinctively knew that while my life would be simpler and more controllable without her, it would also be as drab as my Bamarren uniform.

. . . 

“Are you making fun of me?” It was at that moment, when I asked the question, that I realized just how afraid I was of being the object of her ridicule. She stopped laughing and for the first time she was speechless. 

Losing my entire fucking MIND about how Garak is basically taking Palandine’s place when he approaches Julian at first. Odo and Garak ‘I love you so much I want to become you because it’s the only way I can imagine really being close to you’ handshake meme

Sex stuff end. For now.

I was about to leave when Odo asked about the designs for his “new” sartorial look. I could see that he was masking his concern, so I assured him that the sketches were some of my finest creations, and would be ready within the week. He grunted his thanks and I stepped out onto the Promenade. Love does make fools of us all.

I’m clawing at my face with emotion. Odo… And Garak did finish those sketches even after his moment of existential ennui over them before. 

- Please for the love of god stop putting Six out in the merciless sun T_____T how many times must a poor lil nerd boy pass out before he can rest in the sand etc. 

- “It’s not every evening we find Barkan Lokar strolling with a murk through the Grounds.”

“Lokar? My father buried the Legate, Turat Lokar,” I said without thinking.

“Did your father kill him?” Palandine joked. But I didn’t laugh. The Lokars were a legendary family, and the old man’s funeral was the largest I had ever seen.

Why is this so funny. Garak you are so fucking weird. ‘Oh yeah I know that guy my dad did the flower arrangements for his funeral’ 

- A spirited dabo game involving several Klingons and a serious-looking dabo girl I hadn’t seen before caught my attention. If Quark had been present he’d be giving her one of his congeniality lectures. I truly sympathize with the young woman; if I had to spend all day with these drunken dolts….

Literally so hilarious that’s his first thought. First impulse: ‘surrounded by idiots’ solidarity. Garak what were you doing day drinking at the devil’s sacrament/quarks at midday girl…

- Rom soon appeared with a small container of kanar. He was wearing an outfit I had made for him.

“H-here you are, Garak. I hope you enjoy it.” Ever the gracious host.

“Thank you, Rom. And please, try not to let your collar lie there like a dead targ.” I adjusted the offending fabric, and Rom sweetly tolerated my fussing.

I’m fucking crying what the HELL. Surprise wholesome dynamic that keeps going through the whole narrative. Garak just uncomplicatedly likes and appreciates Rom, with no particular ulterior motive. Plus: fussing is also how we see Mila express affection, like mother like son.   

- I realized as I took a sip of my drink that I was in a dangerous mood. Drinking in the middle of the day. The Doctor would be quite disappointed with me. When I’m unable to immerse myself in work my mind becomes occupied by an invading army of thoughts intent upon conquering all equilibrium and peace. Kanar is a valuable if unreliable weapon I employ against this army. The pills the Doctor gives me are a poor substitute.

Julian, severely unimpressed: uh-huh

‘Would Julian want me to do this to myself? No. However he’s too busy playing soldiers with O’Brien to tell me so, apparently, so that can’t stop me.’ You petty lil bitch garak (affectionate)

The fact that he’s doing the The Little Julian Who Lives In My Head thing already here, where the real Julian is actually around but not engaged with him. I’m so sad. He’s managed to discover shrimp colour spectrums of loneliness and pining.  

- Ever since the Romulan business and Captain Sisko’s near breakdown (outside of the Doctor, whom I told shortly after the incident, no one knows about this, but one recognizes the symptoms), I’ve been obsessed with memories of Bamarren. 

The fact that he tells Julian about that. Presumably partly in a practical way to make sure Sisko doesn’t fall to pieces completely but he doesn’t seem to have any shame about it or expect Bashir to react too badly over it either. The trust…

- I must admit that I was quite taken aback. Evidently there is honor among dolts.

I’m genuinely impressed by how enjoyable it is in this book to be party to Garak’s inner voice. It’s so fun in here, among all the horrors. 

- Nine approached me as I sat alone in our quarters reading the first part of Cylon Pareg’s Eternal Stranger, a saga spanning several generations of a Cardassian family during the early and middle Union.

*whisper of agonized affection* between this and his happy place being studying wormhole theory… he’s such a little nerd. 

Nine swallowed again, an even more bitter taste, and marched off to a life of diminishing returns.

LMAO burn. And, as we shall see, not necessarily inaccurate.  

- As I walked away I heard the custodian ask Tarnal what it was I had done to deserve this punishment.

“Nobody told me. But I know he’s got a mouth on him,” Tarnal replied.

The more things change I guess fdhsakja. Known across the school for being a) a sneaky lil bastard and b) never ever shutting the fuck up when he really really should 

- “And you have to use that wonderful smile of yours more often, Elim.”

“What’s that got to do with listening?” That was the subject, and Palandine had typically made a jump in logic I couldn’t follow. She also forgot that I was a Cardassian male and smiling was not one of our strong features.

“If they feel comfortable with you, people will tell you stories about themselves that will reveal their deepest secrets.”

“But what if the stories aren’t true?” I challenged. “I could smile till my cheeks hurt, and you could tell me any kind of story you wanted—and what would I know about you except what you invented?”

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted.

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not? Because it’s not what you believe? Or it doesn’t fit a definition of the truth that someone taught you? Look at people, Elim.” Palandine gestured as if the enclosure were filled with people. “Observe them. The way they walk and talk, the way they hold themselves and eat their meals. That’s what they believe about themselves. Is it the ‘truth’? Are they really that way? I don’t know. Perhaps it is a lie. But what people lie about the most are themselves, and these lies become the stories they believe and want to tell you.”

“As long as I’m smiling,” I mumbled.

. . . 

“Truth, as we’ve learned to define it, is not only overrated,” she went on with a controlled passion, “it’s designed to keep people in the dark.”

This last statement stopped me.

“You mean the way we’ve been taught?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“What about our government?”

“They tell us the stories that we need to know in order to be good citizens,” she replied carefully.

“They don’t tell us the truth, is what you’re saying,” I concluded.

“There you go again. They tell us their truth, Elim, and we are here to learn how to listen.”

. . . 

“Let the ones without power scowl and make fierce faces.You smile. It’s an invitation to connect with another person. And once the invitation is accepted, relax and listen … you’ll come to know as much as you’ll ever need to about that person,” she said with a smile that I greedily accepted.

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted. 

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not?” 

SO when I was saying he’s taking Palandine’s place in this dynamic with Julian early on I was not kidding and I was not wrong hahaha. And it’s also what this entire book is, in the end. Trusting Julian to ‘truly listen’ to the story under the stories is maybe the biggest show of trust and vulnerability Garak could ever extend to anyone. Extremely The Wire-core once more.

The idea that tiny Garak was too outwardly glum and serious is. Amazing and brainbreaking. People feeling uncomfortable under his gaze b/c he’ll just like scowl distrustfully at them. Palandine I don’t know if you fixed him or made him worse but you certainly did something fundamental to him and committed him to the bit and for that I cannot thank you enough

- I no longer had Palandine to myself—but surprisingly, I didn’t mind, in fact I was pleased that Charaban was here. His stillness, like everything else about him, had grace and strength. I sneaked another look in his direction and marveled that this was the same person I had first encountered in the storeroom. He returned my look, and in the next few moments a bond grew between us that I had never thought possible. 

You know if Barkan was really smart or had the capacity for extended self-control he would have just kept stringing Garak along as the third in his disastrous marriage. Garak is used to subsisting on the merest scraps of affection and consideration, you’d barely even have to feed him. (Ala Daisuke Jigen with many an evil ex, for the Lupinheads out there lol) A threesome here and there and maybe gently stroking his hair afterwards and you’d have him for life, probably. Alas or perhaps thankfully Barkan is ultimately just an asshole and not that smart. 

- A Bolian client came down the steps outside the door and was about to enter the shop, but for some reason he stopped at the threshold. He looked at us, turned, and went back the way he came.

LMAO that guy was like ‘something really fraught and homosexual is going on here and that is frankly none of my business, as you were gentlemen don’t mind me.’ A real ally and a bro.  

“I’m keeping you from your business.” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door.

“No, you’re not,” he said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’” he explained with the same faint smile.

“What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude.

“It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who lack character’ and insist on airing their needs—especially in public—are subject to ridicule… and worse. Does this sound familiar?”

“Perhaps,” I replied softly.

“But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door.

I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familiar. But as to the question of which group suffers the most…

. . . 

After Charaban’s betrayal I became as withdrawn and solitary as I had been when I first came to the Institute. I tried to spend time with Palandine, but it never quite worked out; between her regular duties and the recruitment and planning for the female Competition, she had little time for anything else. But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

1) Going NUTS over the fact that these are separated by ONE paragraph. Andy Robinson staring directly into the camera making parallels between the main love interests in this book like ‘Am I making myself clear here. Do you get it yet’. Also really interesting to make this relationship pattern a, well, pattern in Garak’s life, and not a unique element of his and Bashir’s thing (which Doylistically was basically a byproduct of cowardly 90s standards for tv writing more than anything else lol)

2) But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

 The Palandine/Bashir parallel train barrels on, scoring a deep trail of heartache into my soul. Also in that case it’s so sad because he really hasn’t done anything wrong or anything to be ashamed of, Barkan and Palandine are the ones who fucked him over :’( 

3) I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. + Tolan’s grief at seeing Garak after Bamorren: “He’s hard, Mila,” Father said. . . . “But to the point where he’s unreachable?” Father asked. “Where nothing penetrates? How can he express even his basic needs if he’s trapped inside a shell?” + Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?...........................................................................

4) More proof to my eyes that Julian’s side of this whole thing seems to be more about thinking Garak doesn’t actually want him to be there. He doesn’t think he’s welcome here or that he’ll be able to help more than he hurts with whatever’s going on for him. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’ AUGH 

Garak buddy… every time he tries to get closer to you or extend some care, you bristle like a hedgehog even though you’re trying to do it in as polite and decent a way as possible — what is the poor guy supposed to think beyond a certain point lmao. (Though on the hopeful/beautiful side… what is this entire book but Garak actually taking the advice/suggestion Bashir gives in this scene to reexperience his past and put it in context — not in the holosuites, but in his own way by writing it all out in a way that makes sense to his Cardassian brain and then sharing that with Julian directly. Like. The last line of the book is ‘You’re always welcome, Doctor’. Elim ‘I will become emotionally healthy enough to ask Julian to come visit with an open heart if it fucking kills me’ Garak)  

I’m so soft for how careful they both are with each other in this scene, though. Even in this difficult place where there’s stuff they don’t understand about each other and they are having difficulty connecting for… several reasons, they are trying so so hard to be good to each other. Which is why I think they have every chance of working out brilliantly long-term; once you’ve got a mutual respect, willingness to keep working to understand and communicate with each other even when it’s difficult, and that fundamental ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ good faith in a relationship you’re a good chunk of the way there, from what I have observed. 

Julian cares that Garak was upset, much more than he cares about being right, and this time he shows it in a more private setting where Garak can take it in. They’re trying!  

5) The implication in But as to the question of which group suffers the most… that Garak also realizes how much he’s hurting Julian by not being able to let him in…

Most of all the fact that Bashir in this scene is like ‘Listen Garak I get emotional repression. I’m literally British.’ is one of the funniest things that happen in the whole book. To me. (I’m Norwegian, culturally this has. Some overlap with my experience, let’s say lol) 

- Six had long since gone home. He wanted to succeed so badly, but his body couldn’t withstand the constant assault of the training. I’m sure he found an academic situation. 

Oh thank GOD. Genuinely so relieved to hear this. This is how many times a nerd boy must pass out before he rests in the sand and gets to go to normal university instead of murderschool, the question is finally answered.  

- Tain has shown up again and I want to throw rocks at him until he goes away. And I know he won’t. 

- My shed has become somewhat more bearable, but the clutter and confinement of the interior space requires that I leave the door open. To keep myself busy when I’m not working with the med unit, Doctor, I am engaged in a project I must tell you about. It baffles me. Perhaps you can tell me if I’m losing my mind altogether.

. . . 

[Parmak] turned to me with the strangest expression on his face—and looked me directly in the eyes for the first time.

AUGH. (Plus, the fact that Parmak consistently calls him ‘Elim’.)

But what baffles me, Doctor, is that I attach no meaning to what I’m doing here. I’m just doing it because I need to. And to be truthful, I don’t see this as a memorial at all. On the contrary—if I could, I’d singlehandedly rebuild this city myself, piece by piece. I stood here watching Parmak’s blood dry on this pile of rubble, engulfed by a feeling of loss and utter mystification as to what these piles mean.

Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor.

This whole section is the biggest mood and I’ve rarely felt closer to a fictional character haha. His quietly dissociated tired bemusement both with himself and what he’s doing and Parmak’s reaction is… yeah that’s exactly what that feels like. And ‘Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor’ has done irreparable damage to my psyche, I’m going to be thinking about this forever

- Palandine gestured that she would deal with me and sent the mate on her way.

“So what did you use me for?” I asked.

“What do we ever use each other for?” she replied without hesitation.

“Answering a question with a question is an old trick, Palandine.”

“No trick. I needed a friend.”

“And you don’t need a friend now” I hated the tone that was creeping into my voice.

“It’s complicated, Elim.”

I was afraid to ask why.

“What did you use me for?” she asked.

The question truly baffled me. I only wanted her love. Was that using her? I would gladly have given mine in return.

Still gnawing on concrete over Garak partially reenacting Palandine’s way of approaching him with Bashir in the beginning. At that point he also needed a friend (and he needed someone to run to Sisko like ‘THE SPY TALKED TO ME :D’ to deliver intel through so he was also using him lol.) The way Garak picks up traits from the people he loves like he’s doing the soul version of Odo’s shapeshifting-as-closeness thing because it’s the only way he knows. 

- “So it’s Eight,” he said, dismissing me from his world.

“I don’t think you understand, Barkan….” Palandine began to say.

“It’s not necessary that he understand,” I dismissed him from my world.

Barkan… you did not understand what you were doing, getting into an emotionally and sexually charged petty-off with this man. RIP your stupid ass I guess lmao

“I wanted to tell you. But when I realized … I didn’t want to hurt you,” she said with a gentleness that rankled me.

“I’m not hurt. Neither one of you can hurt me. I wish you a successful… partnership.”

Palandine is so interesting!!!! And like here’s one of the things that I think make a big difference in Garak’s relationship with Palandine vs. his relationship with Julian — who tells him exactly the same thing in ‘The Wire’, after all! (I don’t want to hurt you) Because Palandine doesn’t really mean it, does she? She doesn’t mean ‘I don’t want you to be hurting, I want to protect you from being harmed’, she means ‘I didn’t want to be the thing that hurt you; I didn’t want to be faced with your hurt’, while she is doing things that will inevitably hurt him. I think there is genuine affection and care on her side, but they’re in such a fucked up, brutal world and they’re so young. 

‘I’m not hurt. Who’s hurt’ says teen crying quiet tears of blood as his world falls to pieces 

“I love him, Elim. And I’m also ambitious. I want what he wants. You’ll understand this when you find someone to share your….”

Not me wondering how much of this has echoes to Mila’s relationship to Tain and how that’s part of what Garak reacts to — that survival mechanism of ‘I want what he wants’, subsuming and submitting yourself completely. Which of course is what a Cardassian is supposed to do to the state, and that Garak also does with Tain for the vast majority of both of their lives. The worst part is that Palandine really had some reason to hope for more — she and Barkan start out in a more equal position than it’s implied Mila and Tain ever did, that’s always framed as an inter-class thing, and while Palandine’s family situation is not as grand as Barkan’s it doesn’t seem like it crosses the service class/ruling class barrier. But the structure of the state imposed on every level of society right down to the most intimate and personal areas of life is going to crush the life out of that hope real fast. I’m sorry girl. Wanting to have a fighting chance in this world isn’t the worst sin anyone’s committed and tbf you are like a teen by all accounts

- “My name is Elim Garak. I don’t know where I’m being sent, but I hope you’ll remember me as your friend.”

“When I was told today that I was One Lubak, I was honored… and afraid that I’d lose you as a friend. Thank you. My name is Pythas Lok.”

Neither one of us ever took our eyes off Mila, who was still trying to blend into his surroundings.

Crying gently into my cereal

Garak ‘I wasn’t sure I could ever call him a friend’ vs. Pythas ‘Afraid that I’d lose you as a friend’

Something powerful was stirring deep inside me, and I began to shake. Mila snapped his head to the side, the way he does when he senses light or heat change. Convulsive waves pushed up from my center and tears filled my eyes, blinding me. I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. By the time the convulsions subsided and my eyes cleared, Mila had disappeared into the rock-and-sand home he came from. 

Absolutely sobbing my eyes out into my cereal 

Spoiler warning: Garak having to go somewhere to be alone after something calamitous happens in his life because that’s the only way he can cry is a theme that will reemerge later and do unspeakable emotional damage to me personally haha

As I hiked back to the Institute, I had the thought that maybe somebody was doing the same thing for me and bringing me back home.

No baby you see someone is doing the exact opposite of this to you right now because you have a basic goodness and capacity for real honest love that Tain doesn’t and he’ll never in a million years set you free just because he loves you and it’s the right thing for you 

- And Jadzia is gone. The station is a sadder and grayer place without her. I’m surprised at how keenly I feel her absence. Even though I know that her symbiont has been “joined” with another person … well, it’s not the same, is it? Indeed, knowing that Jadzia’s personality is somehow contained along with several others within this other person, I wonder how I would react if we were ever to meet.

:(

The doctor has reminded me that these are personal choices, and it’s not for us to judge how one chooses to mourn. Quite so. Who can even begin to understand another’s grief? “Do you judge people by the clothes they ask you to make?” the doctor asked once. I bit back my response, but the point was well taken.

:’) little soul-healing brush of Julian kindness time 

- “What does Tir Remara want with you?” Colonel Kira demanded, ignoring my offer of tea. Immediately an entire picture formed in my head of the scenario her abrupt question suggested: Tir Remara—a spy, perhaps even a changeling, preying upon a lonely Cardassian who was working for the Federation and engaged in top-secret work.

“She wants to have my children,” I replied with a serious look.

“You can’t be serious,” she managed.

“I’m not. Now do you want this tea or not?”

Kira should just have strangled you all those times she wanted to you snarky asshole fhdskja

[finniestoncrane]

As a fallout new vegas super-fan I can confirm that one of the ways you can kill benny involves seducing him (regardless of player gender) and giving him a foot job

HOWEVER

This is simply par for the course, in new vegas you also:

- Help a strip club recruit a robot called 'fisto' (not before trying it out yourself)

- Help that same strip club recruit a leather kink ghoul lady who has a whip

- Flirt with sentient light switches

- Be held at gunpoint by a child with a toy ray gun that just so happens to be connected to a satellite system which fires an orbital laser

- Seduce one of the companions by being a himbo (God bless Arcade Gannon he has a type and its a good one)

- Help a cult of Elvis impersonators find a new brain for their dog

- Assist (or sabotage) a cult of ghouls in flying to the moon

- Assasinate the president

- Help a tyrant with his brain cancer

- Alot more

All in all 10/10 game, also I recommend going on YouTube and looking at Ulysses, Legate Lanius, Joshua Graeme, and Vulpes Inculta's voices because god dam

i need this game to fuckin run for me stat. unfortunately i am now deep into a fo4 playthrough, and then i have to go back to 76 to see this new nude ghoul that exists now, BUT THEN i'll be stripping and slutting my way through the mojave u-u

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Do you want to learn about military economics and agricultural reform in the Roman republic? Of course you do! Because history is awesome.

So. You know how the Romans had "patrons" who provided money and assistance to "clients," who in turn supported their patrons politically. One of the theories about Why The Roman Republic Fell™ is that eventually whole armies eventually became "clients" of generals like Caesar and Pompey. In this view, soldiers became more loyal to their generals than to the state, because the generals were responsible for paying them, not the Senate. Gaius Marius is usually blamed for making this possible, since he opened military recruitment to the poor, not just property owners.

However! There are Problems with this theory!

The property requirement to enlist had been dropping for decades, and was mostly ignored by Marius' time anyway.

There are only two instances of a Roman army marching on Rome in the late republic, and both times, the soldiers believed they were upholding the rightful government. Sulla was the lawfully elected consul when he marched on Rome in 88 BCE, and in 49, Caesar argued that he (and the army) were defending the people's representatives from a violent faction that was interfering in free elections.

There are no known examples of a Roman army defecting to another state during this time, but they did mutiny against specific commanders. Mutinying troops quickly accepted new commanders sent by the Senate. In other words, they felt no client-like obligation to their generals, yet remained loyal to Rome itself.

There are many examples of discharged veterans waiting years at a time for their pensions from the Senate. They were clearly not trying to overthrow the state.

The idea that soldiers from poor families would be more greedy and willing to betray their country, compared to rich soldiers, is uh. Actually pretty classist. We know the Roman aristocracy was greedy as hell.

Verdict: There were no client armies. Generals had to convince soldiers both that their cause was legitimate and that the general could lead and provide for them.

What does "providing for" the troops mean?

Wages! Roman soldiers were paid barely subsistence money in 100 BCE and got no wage increase until Caesar doubled it 50 years later.

Plunder! Every ancient army did this, but the Romans had a whole system for defeating, securing, and then thoroughly stripping an area of its valuables. And its people. They enslaved a lot of folks.

Bonuses! Generals and legates got the big bucks but they'd usually hand out extra at the end of a campaign.

Last and most explosive, land grants! Because the Roman dream was apparently to own your own farm. Not to actually work it, of course, you'd use slaves for that. But you'd take the credit of being a Real Farmer anyway.

There was no better way to start a riot in the late republic than to start talking about land grants. See, the city of Rome was Fucking Huge, and 98% of its inhabitants were Poor As Fuck. Most of the legionaries were also Poor As Fuck unless they got lucky with plunder. So there was a recurring problem of what to do with all the veterans coming home, and also all the poor people struggling to feed themselves in Rome itself.

Solution: Parcel out state land for the poor. The poor folks get farms and can now happily provide for themselves (on the backs of slave labor). They're less likely to burn the Senate house down that way, right?

Problem: The rich didn't want to redistribute land. Even if it wasn't their land, they were often squatting on it unofficially. (I told you the aristocrats were greedy.) Plus, whoever was in charge of allotting the land would have a great opportunity to enrich himself and turn the new farmers into his clients.

This led to multiple Very Necessary humanitarian bills getting shot down in the Senate. The veterans and urban poor were not happy. It's likely that the defeat of one of these bills, in 63, provided some of the impetus for the Catilinarian revolt afterward.

It also became the flashpoint for Julius Caesar's consulship in 59, when he attempted to introduce a very moderate land bill, got stonewalled in the Senate for no reason other than "We don't like you," and had the bill ratified by the public assembly instead. Which was legal, but pissed the senators off, and set a hostile tone for the rest of his consulship. (Also, the bit where Caesar's friends dumped shit on his colleague's head didn't help.)

Agricultural reform didn't cause the republic to fall apart...but it widened the divide between Caesar and his enemies, which would culminate in a fight over whether he could run for office again in 50, and the civil war breaking out in 49.

(Adapted from Erich Gruen, The Last Generation of the Roman Republic, pp. 365-404.)

[stephensmithuk]

The Greek Interpreter

Another one from Memoirs.

Diogenes was a Greek philosopher of the Cynicism school, best known for his unsocial behaviour.

London had a lot of private clubs at this time for wealthier men, catering to all tastes and politics. Pall Mall in particular was, and still is, famous for them.

Joining these clubs generally required other members to propose and second you; being "unclubbable" meant no-one else liked you enough to let you in their club.

Watson should stop fat-shaming people!

The Diogenes Club, which has turned up in a bunch of other works, is believed to have been based on the Athenaeum Club, which is still there.

Wandsworth Common is a green area in SW London, not the biggest still present in the city by any means,

Clapham Junction, actually in Battersea, was and still is a major railway interchange with trains going to Victoria and Waterloo in particular. Major as in having over 100 trains an hour use it, the busiest station for interchanges in the UK and the only station there with more interchanges than people starting or ending their journey there.

The Daily News was a 'radical' paper originally founded in 1846 by Charles Dickens of all people, who was its first editor. It eventually ceased publication in 1930 with its merger with the Daily Chronicle to become The News Chronicle, which eventually folded, very strangely given its liberal editorial line, into the Daily Mail.

Legations were a lower form of diplomatic mission, below an embassy; only Great Powers could send and receive full ambassadors - and historically only monarchies; France by this point was a republic and so of course was the USA. Greece, as a small kingdom at the time, was not Embassy worth. The last legations became full embassies in the 1990s.

The Metropolitan Police District covered a large area outside of London too, including Beckenham and even areas that would not become part of Greater London in 1965. It now matches the Greater London boundaries.

Beckenham, then in Kent, had become a full town already by this point due to rapid expansion fuelled by the railway. The main station at Beckenham Junction also serves as the eastern terminus of the Tramlink network, London's revived tram system.

Another case of "I've run out of word count - let's have the villains die off-screen!"

[queen-scribbles]

Since she's on my summer exchange refs, figured I should actually make a post about how things play out for Ody--specifically relating to Chance--post-class story. (This wound up. uh. long than planned at just over 1k. heh)

As I've mentioned, their relationship starts with her visiting him after the end of the Agent story. She sneaks into Coruscant, visits him in rehab. She smuggles in that drink he offered bc she doesn't want to wait until he's out and they talk. There’s a lot to talk about, starting with him apologizing for using her control word even though he knew it was wrong. (Being afraid to die explains but doesn’t excuse) She forgives him-more easily than he thinks she should-bc it’s the nature of spy business and Kothe wasn’t wrong about her being a plant. She maybe teases him a little about being too soft for spy work. He takes it in stride("Maybe I am. Might wind up a moot point." with how extensive his injuries were, there's low odds he'll go back to field work for a long time, if at all).

At the end of a few very frank conversations, they acknowledge there’s definitely an attraction between them still, and agree to see where things go. She told him about the Star Cabal, some of what she’s been through, being a double agent for Kothe, and promises to check in when she can. She is supposed to be maintaining cover in Sith Intelligence, so it’s not like she can pop over to Coruscant whenever she feels like it. They trade real names. She knew his from tracking down where he was for rehab, but Chance tells her before that clicks he's still on a lot of meds and Ody reciprocates. She was planning to tell him anyway so he didn't have to keep calling her Legate. (He is the only one who calls her Des or Dessa instead of Ody as a nickname)

She finds a way to actually visit after finishing on Yavin 4. While there's a very small part of her that couldn't help wondering if he was a Revanite through the Rishi portion, she always shushed it. That's her paranoia talking, Kothe and Watcher X rubbed off on her etc etc. She finally shuts it up for good when she finds the complete list of Revanite agents and his name's not on it(SEE!!)

She doesn’t give him all the details, just enough to convey what they were up against before changing the subject to ask about him. How’s his recovery going, will he be shifting career focus, made any friends in rehab? Chance accepts the redirect since she clearly doesn’t feel like talking about it anymore. (He’s coming along, still limps and probably always will, but at least he can walk. It does look like he’ll be switching to desk duty, probably as an analyst but maybe a handler. Not sure how he feels about the latter option.) They get a few days together before she has to leave so her people don’t get suspicious. There's a small boring period where they think about each other, she maybe hacks a couple systems to check up on him, and they make a habit of finding ways to contact each other with short messages that won't get either of them in trouble. Things are too tense with renewed hostilities for her to actually visit Coruscant again for a while.

After Ziost she comes back and she’s a wreck. Chance is semi-out of rehab at this point; it’s like monitored independent living. Doctors on site and biometric tracking but they largely leave you alone unless you call or the biometrics alert them to an emergency, so they have a bit more privacy. He’s immediately just “What’s wrong?!” and she tries to hold it together at the beginning, but by the time she gets to watching Vitiate consume the entire planet her hands are shaking and her voice cracks and Chance is pulling her in for a hug. It turns into their first kiss. Ody stays for awhile. Intelligence isn’t tracking her currently, Lana trusts that she knows what she’s doing(and she’s infiltrated the Republic before, she has three separate excuses prepared if anyone questions). She takes some time for her, for them, to really solidify the relationship. Her family is from Ziost, even if they've since relocated to Dromund Kaas, so she's really rattled and in a mood to prioritize personal stuff. Focus on the "little details" that matter. She spends a week or two there, and barely does any "work". Sometime in there also comes sex as part of that focus on being alive and both of them want it(they double check) and Chance is healed enough it’s not going to cause problems for him.

It's shortly before she has to leave that Chance brings up the possibility of just... walking away. Not from her hunt for Vitiate; he knows he can't talk her out of that. But from their respective intelligence agencies. Set up their own freelance investigative service, or walk away from that line of work entirely and do something different. It's very, very tempting, especially with her feeling on the Empire now, but she says no. The resources of Sith intelligence/Darth Marr are too vital in this hunt, she can't give that up o matter how big a problem she has with them. (Plus there's this new mysterious army that's started hitting both Republic and Imperial targets to worry about...) Chance says he figured but had to try, Ody promises she'll be safe, she'll visit again as she's saying goodbye.

They get one more visit between Ziost and the Wild Space Expedition, and it's not a long one. A day, at most. Stolen time in the middle of chaos. Then she has to leave for the Wild Space Expedition and that's the last time they see each other.

Ody comes out of carbonite five years later and, at some point after all the running and fighting and almost dying, finds out Chance was killed while she was MIA, sometime year 3 or 4. I'm still deciding whether it's the Sith or Eternal Empire that's responsible, bc either is a whole lot of juicy angst. Either it's one more thing the Empire she swore to uphold took from her, or it'll make her interactions with Arcann really interesting and I'm not sure which would be more Fun. 😈

So she's trying to process the grief of that, wondering if things would be different if she'd agreed to his "Let's just go" suggestion since he was KIA, while also standing against the Eternal Empire and trying to get Valkorion TF OUT OF HER HEAD. Not a fun time for her.

This is already longer than planned for it to be, so. Basically. Healing process from KotET through EoO, then she's gonna flirt with the cute space pirate Mandalorian and hopefully that'll end better.😊😉

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 1.3 (before 1960)

69 – The Roman legions on the Rhine refuse to declare their allegiance to Galba, instead proclaiming their legate, Aulus Vitellius, as emperor. 250 – Emperor Decius orders everyone in the Roman Empire (except Jews) to make sacrifices to the Roman gods. 1521 – Pope Leo X excommunicates Martin Luther in the papal bull Decet Romanum Pontificem. 1653 – By the Coonan Cross Oath, the Eastern Church in India cuts itself off from colonial Portuguese tutelage. 1749 – Benning Wentworth issues the first of the New Hampshire Grants, leading to the establishment of Vermont. 1749 – The first issue of Berlingske, Denmark's oldest continually operating newspaper, is published. 1777 – American General George Washington defeats British General Lord Cornwallis at the Battle of Princeton. 1815 – Austria, the United Kingdom, and France form a secret defensive alliance against Prussia and Russia. 1833 – Captain James Onslow, in the Clio, reasserts British sovereignty over the Falkland Islands. 1848 – Joseph Jenkins Roberts is sworn in as the first president of Liberia. 1861 – American Civil War: Delaware votes not to secede from the United States. 1868 – Meiji Restoration in Japan: The Tokugawa shogunate is abolished; agents of Satsuma and Chōshū seize power. 1870 – Construction work begins on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York, United States. 1871 – In the Battle of Bapaume, an engagement in the Franco-Prussian War, General Louis Faidherbe's forces bring about a Prussian retreat. 1885 – Sino-French War: Beginning of the Battle of Núi Bop. 1911 – A magnitude 7.7 earthquake destroys the city of Almaty in Russian Turkestan. 1911 – A gun battle in the East End of London leaves two dead. It sparked a political row over the involvement of then-Home Secretary Winston Churchill. 1913 – An Atlantic coast storm sets the lowest confirmed barometric pressure reading for a non-tropical system in the continental United States. 1913 – First Balkan War: Greece completes its capture of the eastern Aegean island of Chios, as the last Ottoman forces on the island surrender. 1920 – Over 640 are killed after a magnitude 6.4 earthquake strikes the Mexican states Puebla and Veracruz. 1933 – Minnie D. Craig becomes the first woman elected as Speaker of the North Dakota House of Representatives, the first woman to hold a Speaker position anywhere in the United States. 1944 – World War II: US flying ace Major Greg "Pappy" Boyington is shot down in his Vought F4U Corsair by Captain Masajiro Kawato flying a Mitsubishi A6M Zero. 1946 – Popular Canadian American jockey George Woolf suffers a concussion during a freak racing accident; he dies from the injury the following day. The annual George Woolf Memorial Jockey Award is created to honor him. 1947 – Proceedings of the U.S. Congress are televised for the first time. 1949 – The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, the central bank of the Philippines, is established. 1953 – Frances P. Bolton and her son, Oliver from Ohio, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress. 1956 – A fire damages the top part of the Eiffel Tower. 1957 – The Hamilton Watch Company introduces the first electric watch. 1958 – The West Indies Federation is formed.[ 1959 – Alaska is admitted as the 49th U.S. state.

[theoutcastrogue]

Bret Devereaux or Roman CIA/FBI equivalents

“Were there pre-modern equivalents of such government institutions as the CIA (for spying) or the FBI (for crime investigation)?

So I cannot answer for every society here, but for the Romans I can provide something of an answer, which I would frame as “No, but.”  I think the key issue here is both the degree of centralization in what these organizations do and also their purpose.

Sending individuals into another country to get information on it – even in a clandestine manner – was not an unheard of thing to do in the ancient world, though given the limited control ancient states had over the movement of peoples such ‘spying’ often consisted simply of sending a few trusted members of court to go visit the other country’s court as ‘diplomats’ or as guests of local notables and report back everything they saw.  But that’s not really what we mean when we think of the CIA – we imagine a centralized bureaucracy with an official head that reports to the government, gathers large amounts of data on foreign countries and writes reports.  That the Romans did not seem to have had.

We do hear, once in Ammianus of ‘areani‘ (or arcani; the reading here is unclear) whose job was to travel and inform Roman generals of what was going on in neighboring countries, but these seem likely to be scouts and are only attested in Roman Britain, so this might just be a special unit of scouts that ranged north of Hadrian’s Wall to keep tabs on the people to the north.  There’s no sense of a larger or more pervasive intel operation and keep in mind we have the writings of senior commanders and senators (e.g. Seneca, Pliny, Cassius Dio) who would surely have been aware if there had been such a state organ.

Meanwhile when we think about the FBI, we imagine an internally directed organization whose goal is to detect and investigate crime.   Ancient societies (including the Romans) generally had no investigative police of any kind.  In the imperial period, Rome did have a sort of police force (though their primary job was as firefighters), the vigiles, who in addition to putting out fires kept a night watch and might respond to cries of alarm for things like burglaries, or do riot control.  But as far as we can tell they didn’t investigate crimes.  The Roman legal system lacked a public prosecutor in any event: if someone did a crime against you, you didn’t wait for the police to investigate and the state to charge, instead you went to a magistrate (here this might be the tresviri capitales or a praetor (either the praetor urbanus or praetor peregrinus, depending on the issue) and laid the charge yourself (and then you or your representative or patron, would prosecute).

What we do see emerge in the imperial period are what we might call ‘state security forces,’ but these are less the FBI and more akin to the KGB: their role wasn’t to investigate crimes but to detect threats to the state and the rule of the emperor (which means yes, ‘secret police’ predate modern investigative police by centuries).  Emperors used various formal and informal networks of spies and informants to try to root out conspiracies against their rule and almost any kind of official who moves around the empire but reported to the emperor (instead of a governor) might be suspected of being a way for the emperor to spy on the most dangerous (to him) people in the empire: his own legates who held military commands.

And so we get, for instance, the frumentarii, literally ‘grain guys’ (after frumentum, grain) whose job ostensibly was to ensure the food supply to the legions and deliver messages from Rome, but who rapidly got a reputation as the emperors spies (against his own subordinates), secret police and even assassins.  Likewise, Roman generals in the imperial period had bodyguards called speculatores (‘look outs,’ – they’re not praetorians anymore because these are legati, not praetors or consuls), who served also as scouts and message-runners and thus naturally as spies the emperor might use to keep tabs on his generals or on the loyalty of a province.  And later we hear of agentes in rebus in the Late Empire who were official couriers who – wait for it – emperors used as spies and informants against their subordinates in far-flung provinces, particularly after disbanding the frumentarii, whom the agentes in rebus replaced doing essentially the same job.  And this was doubtless alongside of other informal domestic spies.

– Bret Devereaux, Referenda ad Senatum: January 13, 2023: Roman Traditionalism, Ancient Dates and Imperial Spies

[flyingfanatic]

WTF is up with the Cohort rank structure

I realise there are many other, larger issues to have WTF moments with about the Cohort, but.

How many branches of service are there? Where did the rank system come from? What military is John basing this all on? Or what fucked up info did he give to Gideon and Pyrrha?

On the Erebos we have Admiral Sarpedon, one Admiral of many fleets. Okay, NZDF only has one, but it’s a logical step if you’re gonna have a huge space navy. More brass. Sure.

But then we have first lieutenants. That’s a rank in the USAF and a few others, but not the NZDF. We also have Sergeants on the Erebos which, again, makes most sense if the system is based on the USAF: the Cohort Fleet being commanded by the “Navy”, hence Admirals; while the boots-on-the-ground section of the Cohort are closer to Marines, who can hold the rank of First Lieutenant or Sergeant.

If that’s the case... why? Why is John basing the Cohort on the USNAVY, of all his possible options? Did he just want to have a little private giggle about having Space Marines? Then why not go full hog and base the ranks on the damn space marines as well? It would fit with his whole eternal emperor spiel.

And why call them the Cohort then use modern ranks? That’s more in-keeping with his passion for Latin, although a term for a sub-unit is an odd choice, but why stop there? Why use modern terms, instead of Roman military terms? Why not Legate, Praefectus, and Pilus?

[safyresky]

I wonder how the Legendary Council would react to The Rise of the Guardians it would be a great movie for them to all watch. I can totally picture Jack Frost being so excited to watch the movie for the first time and be like “Finally a movie where I am the star instead of Santa Claus being the star because there is too many Santa Claus movies out there.”

I have THOUGHTS about this lmao! Of course, they include light OCs, much no NOBODY'S surprise here at SafyreSky Industries ;)

Jacqueline takes Jack with her to see Rise of the Guardians. He gets very upset bc Jack is more like JACQUELINE then the actual Jack Frost. Jacqueline thinks this is hilarious.

Jack however CAN'T DENY the upswing in belief for him that the movie causes. He deals with Jacqueline's I told you so's, may as well let her have this one

The Jack's sister plotline really hits Jack 🥺🥺🥺

He does, in fact, enjoy the movie, but refuses to admit it to his sister. But she be know.

Jack's also a fan of the Rankin Bass special--he's a big fan of the Jack Frost song though he thinks their system of bringing storms is silly. CUTTING all those SNOWFLAKES? INSANE.

yo. I totally wrote a Smile Shot about this lmao, I forgot all about it! Here u go, if fanfic is ur thing (no obligations, of course!) Movie Night

Mother Nature probably loves it, but is sad she isn't in it. She finds the books and, anon, idk if you've read the Guardians of Childhood books, but they are a WILD ride and in them [SPOILERS] Mother Nature is actually Pitch's daughter who he's totally like, abandoned and she keeps hoping he changes then he doesn't so she's very. Like. >:| (If I recall correctly. Feel free to correct me! It's been since 2018 that I've read the Guardians series!) [/SPOILERS]

So she definitely reads the books and enjoys them quite a bit and thinks that Mother Nature in the books is very strong and has a lot of empathy for her

Sandman I think would LOVE RotG Sandman. You know, assuming he stayed awake for the movie

Father Time enjoys the soundtrack the most! He borrows the books from MN and quite likes his Guardians counterpart :)

Easter Bunny is like, wow, Bunnymund is a BAMF and my hero. And is also maybe a bit jealous of the portrayal lmao

Santa would have thoughts, I am SURE. Idk WHAT thoughts, but I think he'd be critiquing it quite a bit. Only for Jack to reply "you're just jealous that I'M the star!" and Santa to snap "YOU? that was Jacqueline, 100%". It gets violent after that.

But Santa is 100% bitter he's not the star. Jack THRIVES. He suggests the movie every Council Movie Night, just to piss off Santa

(It's the little things, post thaw. Sure he's nicer, but Scott is so easy to rile up and Jack LIVES to bug the man. That's what you GET for overshadowing the man's season!)

Cupid would prolly be like "Am I in it? No? Then I've lost interest." And would probably partake in the teasing Jack about how his STARRING MOVIE caters more to his Legate than to him, haha.

I think Tooth Fairy would enjoy it! I think he'd like the nontraditional take on Toothiana--not really a traditional fairy, an absolute sweetheart, and LOVING blood and guts on teeth? Yeah, he'd vibe with it. He'd vibe with her! He'd probably borrow the books from MN too, come to think of it :)

So yeah. I have some THOUGHTS lol :)

[hellostarfleet]

hello i finished new vegas

wall of text thoughts. under read more bc sooooo many.

was kind of wishing by the end i'd known how much the game rewards rly picking and choosing what to make your stats... i didn't really appreciate this until i went from like 45 in energy weapons like this feels fine to 75 and was like I AM A PLASMA GOD!!!! so noted for next run (i did end with 100 in science and energy weapons I GOTTA be nosy and hack every terminal i see. or my courier will die.)

rly thought this about hour 5 but i wasn't expecting the legion to be so cartoonishly evil actually i knew they were bad but like. lol. CMON GUYS PUT SOMETHING BACK ON THE SHELF FOR OTHER BAD GUY FACTIONS... instead of the vipers/jackals/powder gangers/fiends just kind of being. free karma estate. (in retrospect i don't rly understand the point of karma as a system because after like level 5 i never even dipped to neutral karma. my courier was an angel. an angel who stole every cap, stimpak, box of ammo, and piece of scrap metal she could find from everyone and anyone in the greater mojave area. and killed. SO MANY PEOPLE.)

was kind of expecting the hoover dam battle to be like... bigger???? like just having more guys around. more chaotic. actually have a reason to go down into the hoover dam sublevels that they. built and modeled but i had no plot reason to go into and did wander into the first time i was there (mostly i was like "how much does this look like the real hoover dam" and then realized i don't really remember enough about the particulars of the interior to judge that kdjhdkdhdkj).

also maybe im just too much of a bioware kid but i also think it was kinda weird to not have all the little guys you recruited there but shrug. (also i wanted to see the superfortress. WHERE IS IT) anyway i did independent ending bc OBVIOUSLY the ncr has problems and OBVIOUSLY my courier could do better. i mean she has already almost single handedly solved every personnel and supply chain issue the NCR was having. she will definitely TOTALLYYYY set up some sort of council of local factions as soon as she's done having some portion of the securitrons clean up all the fucking rubble laying around in freeside bc it's bothering me. WHY HASN'T ANYONE EVER SO MUCH AS SWEPT MCCARRAN AIRPORT TERMINAL. i bet everyone would be slightly less miserable if you could walk down the street without the threat of tripping on rubble and impaling yourself on rebar. sorry what. you want local governance. citizen. pick up that can. then we'll talk.

anyway idk handwaving not storming through the legate's camp to the main part of the fort to get caesar with the securitrons was kind of weird. i wanna kill. which means i also apparently i missed my chance in life to kill vulpes. SAD. but i got to order yes man to throw a guy off the hoover dam. AND HE DID. so that ruled. (the duality of courier: last week she saved your president from assassination. this week she went hmm. i see. and tossed your top general off a dam.) also im sure yes man installing some updates to become more assertive will definitely not cause any issues. it's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!

ANYWAY despite all that i had a good time as evidenced by finishing it in the time i did oops. i had a good time. i actually didn't realize this game had a companion system i just thought it had a collection of pathetic men. which it does. but also i love having companions (although did get kind of tripped up on only being allowed to have one humanoid companion and one ed-e/rex. it was always ed-e btw bc rex was like continually under my feet im sorry boy.) i also travelled with boone for like 20 hours so it took me a while to realize like any other companion talks a lot more since im pretty sure stringing more than 3-5 words together causes him physical pain. i love that there's a scene for if you do give veronica a dress!!! i am still thinking about how hard arcade dissed me the first time i asked if he wanted to travel with my courier!!!!! i also asked if it could wait when i got his quest and he was like no actually im gonna keep talking and like. lmao. STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ENCLAVE DOES I FEEL LIKE THE ANSWER IS JUST "GO PLAY FALLOUT 3"??? kind of like how visiting jacobstown was just "go play fallout 1 & or 2"

misc briefer thoughts ig:

WHY IS THERE A SNOWGLOBE IN SARAH'S VAULT 21 ROOM. HASN'T SHE LOST ENOUGH TO MR. HOUSE. i did not sell this snowglobe. please clap bc $$$.

loved exploring the vaults in that i hated exploring the vaults man. i think vault 11 wins for most fucked up and vault 34 wins for most times i thought "i fucking hate this" while i was there (but that's a personal problem bc feral ghouls. ueueuueueueueueue cries in a corner while arcade and ed-e shoot everything. nice moral dilemma at the end though. i saved the groundwater but oof. oughf.)

why do the options with dealing with the great khans suck so much lmaooo.... shoving ncr soldiers up against the wall for being like HA we showed theM CHASED THEM RIGHT OUT!! like girl no i told them to leave bc UR COMMANDING OFFICER SAID SHE'D USE THEM FOR CANON FODDER IF THEY ALLIED WITH THE NCR

also honestly same for all the dialogue about neslon bc sorry WHOOOOO kicked the legion out. bc it wasn't you guys it was boone and i doing a sidequest and then just going fuck it kill them all actually -

ok but speaking of NCR guys sorry to the misfits bc i did not have enough explosives to teach u how to explosives and then u all deserted and were hung. skill issue but sorry but skill issue -

because i had done all the vaults i. did finish most of the brotherhood quests ig and honestly was probably going to leave them alone except then i triggered veronica's quest and they wiped out that followers station so. hot take maybe you guys shouldn't have had like three terminals of kill everyone dead. also maybe don't preface yay we can leave again with thoughts on going at it with the ncr again imMEDIATELY what is wrong with you guys.

i feel like some other run im gonna go all in on punching and sneaking that sounds fun. or lead pipe run. i hope primm appreciated me liberating their big hotel in town and didn't think too hard about the piles of guys beat to death with a lead pipe.

the powder gangers and guys in vault 19 rly didn't do anything to me but if it will get me better epilogue slides. well i did get this gauss rifle too late in the game to really use it (ENERGY WEAPON SNIPER RIFLE. IDEAL WEAPON!!!)

i can't believe i have to pay $5 to experience mormons. actually is it even specifically mormon bible thumping or am i just assuming bc it's utah. anyway im gonna do it. but. lmao. (i was also surprised how much man on fire stuff was mentioned in the game proper since it is apparently dlc.)

is the ideal dlc order release order btw

[lamilanomagazine]

80° anniversario di Treviso, Assessore Caner: "Dalle ceneri di quel tragico venerdì è rinata, con orgoglio, la Treviso che tutti noi oggi conosciamo"

80° anniversario di Treviso, Assessore Caner: "Dalle ceneri di quel tragico venerdì è rinata, con orgoglio, la Treviso che tutti noi oggi conosciamo". "Per la città di Treviso questo evento ha un significato profondo, il centro della città finì sotto il più pesante dei bombardamenti della Seconda Guerra Mondiale, perse la sua immagine medievale e l'anima degli abitanti della Marca è rimasta segnata da una ferita insanabile. Quel tragico venerdì del 1944 ha impresso un segno profondo sull'intero capoluogo e i suoi abitanti, che all'indomani hanno saputo però rimboccarsi le maniche e hanno ricostruito, mattone su mattone, il paese che oggi tutti noi conosciamo". Così l'assessore al Turismo della Regione del Veneto, Federico Caner, ricorda l'anniversario del bombardamento alleato che colpì Treviso e le 1600 vittime fra i civili. "Dopo quel tragico e triste momento, la città, come l'araba fenice, è risorta ed è diventata quella che oggi è conosciuta in tutto il mondo per le sue imprese legate, come quelle dello sport system, la produzione enologica della provincia, la qualità della vita e l'affermazione economica – prosegue Caner -. E specialmente in questo delicato momento internazionale, con il coinvolgimento di molte famiglie e bambini innocenti, di tutte le nazioni, che non riescono nemmeno a immaginare quale sarà il loro futuro e la terra in cui potranno crescere, da Treviso lanceremo un messaggio forte di pace che possa arrivare in tutti i luoghi colpiti oggi da tragedie simili".... #notizie #news #breakingnews #cronaca #politica #eventi #sport #moda Read the full article