#leif x ezra | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-marvel-imagines-blog · 5 years

Text

Madness | Chpt. 19

Chapter Title: “A Bleeding Rose”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character (Eva)

Word Count: 12,364 (I got really carried away)

Warnings: slight angst (what’s new?), treason, mentions of violence, some madness...

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

Summary: Upon returning to Asgard with Harley and Kaia, Eva is surprised to discover where loyalties lie throughout Asgard, and she finds that her plan to visit her beloved has been made easier than she thought it would be.

A/N: I’m sorry for the longer wait this time. I’ve been in Maine for the past few days, and I just got back yesterday afternoon only to be met with the normal chaos. I drew a lot of inspiration from the ocean, and I plan to pour that into my writing over the coming chapters and some oneshots/imagines. Once again, thank you all so, so, so much, and I hope you enjoy this installment <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu @mynameisyara @j-j-ehlby-writes @jillilama-blog (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

After a full day running through the woods, making friends with the wolves, horses, and other gifts of nature that were contained within the large spanse of forest, father called me inside. Childhood was too boring for me, especially since Hjalmar was old enough to wield a sword, and I wasn’t. Hjalmar was allowed to train with the eldest prince already, but father was always certain that my next nameday would bring about an age where I could learn to fight with my brother. It was always the next nameday, and when that one came around, it was postponed to the next one, and so on. I had met Loki that morning in the garden, and he snuck out of the palace to run through the forest with me. The animals within the woods settled when in my presence, so Loki could get close enough to pet them. They always liked him anyway, just as I did.

Loki always got into trouble for leaving the confines of the palace, just like I did for leaving the walls of my home. Our punishments were different, though. Father didn’t yell at me, but he spoke to me with a sternness that let me know how dangerous the outside world was. He tried to explain the unexplainable. His reasoning was something I didn’t understand. I had seldom seen Asgard in all her beauty. I saw the rivers and brooks, the inside of the palace when the queen invited me to join her, the beauty of the trees, the life of the forest, but I never saw the bustling streets of Asgard or the famous rainbow bridge. I wanted to explore, but I wasn’t allowed. Loki wasn’t supposed to leave the palace, but he did. Often times, we would lay on opposite sides of the shrubs that separated the castle garden and the forest, and we would speak to each other or just bask in the calmness of knowing that there was someone close.

I’d always fancied the younger prince, ever since I could remember, but I knew that it wasn’t my place to speak of those feelings. He was a prince, and I was a common girl with nothing to my name. I had nothing to give him other than an adventure. Father didn’t know of my feelings for the young prince, which was beneficial. It meant that he wouldn’t try to keep us apart. He wouldn’t put an end to my adventures in the woods or the many occasions when my father would invite Loki and Thor over to our humble cottage to give Thor time to train with Hjalmar and Loki time to roam the forest with me. I didn’t want to think of giving up the time I spent with him, or the places we explored. I didn’t want there to be an end to our friendship, but so many of the good things in my life did just that: came to an end.

I sat in front of the fireplace with father, upset that I was being confined to the house once more. There was no true anger that I felt for my father, but I was mildly irritated that Hjalmar wasn’t held to the same standards as I was. Hjalmar could venture out into the world beyond the forest, but I wasn’t allowed, “I know that you like the woods, Eva, but...you can’t run about all the time. The world isn’t meant for you to explore,” he told me, his voice as gentle as he could make it when his words were anything but. He knew that the rule broke my heart, that it slowly broke my spirits, but he also knew that it was a rule I couldn’t follow.

“But Hjalmar gets to explore all the time!” I cried, my voice threatening to give way to my emotions, “why is it that I’m kept hidden in this cottage? Why can’t I see the world? Why can’t I wander the woods? Why am I not allowed to do as Hjalmar does?” I asked, truly not understanding the reasoning behind the vastly different lives we lived.

Father grasped my shoulders in his firm, calloused hands, hands that had seen so much war, so much pain, “I want you to explore, Eva. I want you to be as free as Hjalmar. I want you to wander the woods and make friends with the animals and the trees. I want you to see Asgard and all she has to offer. I want you to run and play without boundaries, but there need to be boundaries because...the people of Asgard won’t understand you,” he explained, trying to be delicate with my heart. One thing I knew about my father was that he always tried to avoid causing harm, and it was especially true for his children.

I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering, “but they’ll never understand me if I’m locked away.”

When my eyes opened, the light of the Bifrost had faded away, and I stood before Heimdall once more in Asgard. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the two Midgardian children who clung to my body. While I knew that he had watched me struggle with grasping the sad reality that the children would experience should I leave them on Midgard alone, he was still shocked that I followed through with my plan to bring them back to Asgard. While I was known to bend the rules and keep secrets from Odin, I wasn’t a criminal. I followed the laws of the land, but bringing Midgardian’s back to Asgard was a crime, a crime Heimdall didn’t expect me to make. I also wasn’t known for leaving alone and returning with others. In fact, it was the other way around, “we’re home,” I whispered to Harley and Kaia.

Kaia lifted her head from my shoulder, and Harley turned around. Both of their eyes fluttered open to take in the beauty of Heimdall’s observatory as well as the man who inhabited it. The gold armor that clung to his skin was reflected in Kaia’s blue eyes, and her jaw hung slack as disbelief filled her. I released my grasp on her, and placed her down onto the floor of the observatory next to Harley. Their eyes scanned the intricate designs of the walls as my attention turned to Heimdall. Even though he was shocked by their presence, he still offered them a warm gaze before turning it to me. I could sense no anger or frustration from him, which was unexpected since I knew that I had broken the law. He looked almost relieved by the decision I had made, almost like the old version of myself was coming back to life, the part of me that I thought had died when I forfeited my life.

Before we could exchange greetings, he spoke, “there are two guards outside Ezra’s cell in the dungeons, Sten and Erna; two standing guard at the top of the stairs, Ingvild and Magni; and two at the bottom of the stairs, Ephinea and Leif. There’s a horse waiting for you right outside the observatory, and Sindri is waiting at the palace stables for your arrival,” he explained, clearly understanding my intentions for returning to Asgard. While it took me by surprise, Heimdall had always been partial to Loki and I, even after Loki’s betrayal. He cared for us and believed in us the way Odin failed to. I watched my eyes brighten in the reflection of Heimdall’s amber ones, “each of the guards in the castle will allow you safe passage to the dungeons. They’re all expecting you and have given their word to not say a single word about your presence to anyone, not even to the King himself. Ephinea may have used a few empty threats, but they didn’t need much persuading. You’d be surprised where loyalties lie throughout Asgard,” he explained.

His words caught me off guard. It was shocking to hear that so many people-so many of Odin’s Kingsguard-would willingly keep secrets from their King just for me. Heimdall had obviously heard of my plans and sensed my urge to return to Asgard and spend time with my love, so he did the heavy-lifting for me in order to give me more time. Heimdall, the one who followed orders, would be disobeying his King, and it was for me. While I wanted to ask him what made me so special, I knew that it would be doing him a disservice. He did all of the planning in order to give me the time I desired with Loki, so to waste the precious time I did have would’ve been undermining all the work he had done

Instead, as I passed him, I grasped his right shoulder with my right hand and gave a slight bow of my head. When I lifted my eyes back to him, I watched as his gaze landed on my hand, and a warmth blossomed between us like it used to before I built up the walls around my heart-before my innocence was lost. It was a breath of fresh air. I could sense his joy-the pride-that built up in his chest. His eyes reconnected with mine again, “before you destroy his cell to get to him, just ask Ephinea to open it. I gave her the code before you arrived,” he advised me, once more showing me how loyal he was to me. His voice lowered to nothing more than a whisper, “the children...I don’t need to tell you that it’s against Asgardian law for them to be here. Our king-”

I cut him off, “he is my king no longer,” I hissed, thinking about what he had done to myself and my family for so long. If Ezra was truthful, and my visions were correct, Odin had torn my family apart, ripped me away from my only family. If he had no great love and care for me before, how could I assume that my actions would be overlooked? The repercussions of my decision to bring Harley and Kaia back with me would be serious. If Odin were to find out about the Midgardian presence on Asgard, he could have me tried and thrown into the dungeons for an indefinite amount of time. I could be banished from Asgard, or the children could even be sent back to Midgard.

If he tried to take them from me, though, he would be met with a fury and rage that Asgard has never known before. I knew what I was willing to do for the ones I cared about, and Odin wouldn’t receive any special pardon just because he sat upon a throne. He had betrayed me after I pledged my life and sword to him. If my visions were true, he had betrayed me and my family before I had even outgrown my bassinet. He wasn’t my king. I sighed, knowing that Heimdall didn’t deserve my exasperation, “my hand was forced on this matter. They will be under my protection here. I will leave them with my father in the forest, and he will see to it that they are kept hidden there,” I whispered, not wanting to alarm Harley and Kaia. They had known too much fear in their lives, and they didn’t deserve anymore of it.

Heimdall gave a curt nod of his head, understanding that this was who I had always been. I knew that he hadn’t forgotten me, the person I was before my heart was torn apart. He trusted my judgement, “your secrets will never be upon my lips, my princess. The Allfather will never hear of this from me,” he promised.

“Thank you, Heimdall,” I muttered, my appreciation clear on my face. His loyalty to me had never wavered, and I knew it wouldn’t start now. He had always been the most surprising comrades. For a man who was sworn to be true to the throne, he had often ignored that oath to show his loyalty to me. He kept my secrets, lied to Odin about my whereabouts with Loki when we left for Midgard, used the power of the Bifrost to help me, and defended my honor to Odin time and time again. He placed his faith in me and knew that I wouldn’t fail him.

With one final nod of approval from him, I lifted Kaia into my arms and grasped Harley’s hand before hurrying out of the observatory. Like Heimdall had said, there was a horse waiting right outside for me. Small gasps emitted from Harley and Kaia as they took in the wonder of Asgard. Even though I’d seen it countless times, each time I returned, the view seemed even more beautiful than before. I fell in love with the landscape time and time again. No matter how much indifference I felt for the Allfather, I couldn’t deny the beauty that was my home. As Harley and Kaia took in the sights of the golden palace and all that surrounded it, I lifted them onto the horse before hoisting myself up onto the back of the majestic beast behind them.

The ride to the modest cottage in the forest was familiar. It was a ride I had taken time and time again throughout my life, but my fear of returning home with two children in tow was similar to the fear I felt returning home without Hjalmar with me. The path leading up to the cottage was dark, lit only by the shimmering lights in the sky that reached through the forest canopy and down to where we were. When we were close enough to the cottage, I saw that there was that familiar torch still lit outside. Each time one or both of his children were away from home, he would light the torch at night. He told us that-should we return in the middle of the night-the torch would be there to guide us through the darkness and back home to him. He lit it each night until I decided to return home after Hjalmar’s death, but there were other times he lit it when Hjalmar and I were both safe at home. On the same day each year-shortly after my nameday-he would light the torch, and it would be left burning until the morning. When I asked him about it, he’d cast a knowing look at Hjalmar, but he would never utter a single word of it to me. It was a tradition that happened all my life, but I never understood it.

Right before I made it to the cottage, the front door swung open, revealing my father. His shoulder-length, dark hair was pulled back into a small bun, much like the one Hjalmar used to wear. A smile was clear on his face once I got close enough, but that contagious smile fell when he saw the two children I had brought back with me. The look on his face wasn’t one of disappointment, but it was one of understanding and mild concern. The law I was breaking was a serious one, but if my visions were correct, he had bent the rules in his favor a handful of times. I learned from my father. I brought home stray animals all the time in my childhood, wanting to give them a good, happy life. Now, I was bringing home children in hopes to do the same.

Pulling on the reins, the horse came to a halt, and I leapt from her back, guiding Harley and Kaia off of her and onto the sturdy ground below us. Once I had steadied them, I turned my attention over to Aaldir, who stood with tears in his eyes, “father,” I breathed out, my voice quivering in unchecked emotions. I closed every ounce of space that sat between us and threw my arms around his neck. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me off the ground, holding me tightly against him.

“My little wolf,” he greeted me in a whisper, his voice calm and quiet as he kept the nickname between the two of us. Even after he lowered me back down to the ground, I kept my arms wrapped tightly around him, not wanting to let go. I had so many questions to ask him, so many words to say to him, so much to learn from him. I hadn’t seen him in what felt like years but what was only a few days. In that time, though, I was left with so much uncertainty and instability, and I needed his guidance once more. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of myself. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of what I was capable of and the impact it could have on others. Aaldir was my rock, my foundation, my guide, my protector. No matter how many namedays I celebrated, I would always need him by my side.

His hands snaked between us, breaking the hold I had on him. He cupped my cheeks in those calloused hands, pressing his lips to my forehead. My erratic heartbeat became clear to me, and I wondered how long it had been like that for a moment, but it finally began to fall into a steady rhythm in my chest. He pressed his forehead against mine, mirroring what I had done to Harley and Kaia in order to settle their nerves as well as what my father had always done to me, “I’m so glad you’re home, little one,” he rejoiced in a low voice, causing his chest to rumble. A smile spread across his lips as he spoke the words of joy, but I knew that I would be forced to break that joy.

“Actually,” I began, pulling away from him and casting my gaze over at the children I had brought back with me. My eyes flickered between them, and I offered them a comforting smile, wanting them to feel as at-home as they possibly could. I turned my attention back to my father, “I’m only returning for the night. I came to see Loki and to bring them here...where they will live under my protection,” I confessed, not wanting him to get his hopes up that I was finished with my business on Midgard. There was still a very real possibility that I wouldn’t return home, and that was why I was trying to tie up every loose end I could find. I didn’t want there to be a single word unsaid or a stone unturned, which was why I would visit Loki and confront him as myself, instead of an illusion.

He sighed, the smile fading from his lips as I anticipated it would. He turned his attention over to the two small children before him, still standing patiently at the side of the horse, “so, who’s going to introduce me to the newest additions to the family?” he asked, a sincere, paternal smile spreading across his lips. He knew what I was doing by bringing them here. Even though it could be detrimental to my reputation and safety, he understood why I needed to make my decision.

I nodded my head, walking back to stand between Harley and Kaia. It was clear that neither children had too much experience with strangers, which was a good thing, but I knew how sudden all of this would feel for them. It was probably best to bring them to Asgard in the dead of night, when the majority of the population was asleep. If I decided to bring them back during the day, they would’ve been even more overwhelmed by the amount of people in the streets of Asgard. Still, this was an entirely new world for them and a new person who would be introduced into their lives. It was a lot to take in, but I knew that my father would be gentle with them. He knew how to make people feel at ease.

Kaia clung to my legs, and Harley wrapped his arms around my waist, both children trying to hide their faces against my body, “this is Harley and Kaia,” I introduced them to my father, gesturing between the two of them. I gazed down at them before gesturing over to my father, “and this is Aaldir, the man who raised me...my father,” I introduced him to them.

Aaldir knelt down onto the ground, understanding that his height-which was equal to that of my late brother, and thus slightly greater than that of the God of Thunder himself-could be intimidating to such small humans. His frame relaxed, and he made himself smaller, more approachable. His eyes flickered over to Harley, “you, young one, look like a little warrior already. I suppose you’ll teach me more than I’ll end up teaching you,” he laughed, and I watched as a proud smile spread across Harley’s face. My father had a way with people, with easing their nerves and making them feel welcome no matter what the circumstances. He was a force to be reckoned with when he was angry, and he was one of the greatest warriors Asgard had ever seen; however, throughout all my life, he made it clear that he was a father and a caretaker before anything else. He reminded me of my younger years as he spoke to the children.

Before he looked back up at me, his eyes caught Kaia’s little blue ones, and he gazed up at me, “you, my fair little lady, will be a princess one day, or you may even be a warrior like your brother. If you’re lucky, you can even have both, like my daughter,” he whispered, gesturing over to me. I never understood how people could use the term “princess” so loosely that they would associate it with me; however, I didn’t care much for semantics. Aaldir’s eyes flickered between Harley and Kaia, “both of you will have beautiful futures here on Asgard, and I’m going to make sure of it,” he promised, his eyes soft and welcoming just as they had always been. Everyone who was ever lost could find a home in our little cottage. My father loved to host people, and as long as he was around, no one ever went without. If I didn’t return from Midgard, I was calmed by the knowledge that he would take care of Harley and Kaia the same way he took care of Hjalmar and I. They would live prosperous lives, lives filled with joy and laughter.

Kaia was the first to break away from me, her arms dropping from where they had once been wrapped tightly around my legs. I didn’t try to hold her back from closing the distance between her and my father because I knew that he would never bring harm to any child, especially not ones I was taking in under my protection. Kaia’s eyes scanned his body before she moved over to him as slowly as the breeze on a lazy summer morning. She was testing the waters, still unsure of him. It was so different from how she was with me, immediately running up to me and throwing herself onto me. As soon as she stood face-to-face with my father, she reached up and cupped his cheek. A smile spread across his lips, and his brilliant white teeth were exposed for a moment. It was a rare occurrence when he smiled like that, but with them, he did, “hello there, little bird,” he mused, mimicking the nickname I had given to her.

“I know you, too,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck as a sign that she was ready to give her full trust to him, much like she did with me.

His large arms encased her little body, and he smiled to himself. It was a sense of pride that he was accepted into her heart, and it was similar to how I felt upon meeting both Harley and Kaia. He stood up, lifting her up off the ground and holding her against his side. His eyes locked with Harley’s, “would you like to come inside?” he asked, his voice soft.

Harley nodded his head slowly, slightly hesitant. I knew that everything was so new to them, and Harley was having a difficult time accepting the changes. I had taken him to a new realm, and I was introducing him to a new man. He was comforted by the fact that I knew Aaldir. Harley had faith in me, and I had faith in my father, meaning that Harley-in a roundabout way-had faith in my father as well. He trusted me not to put him in danger, and I’d never break that trust. I rested my hand on Harley’s shoulder and kept him close to me as we walked inside. The fire was still crackling in the fireplace, and the sound alone brought me back to the countless nights Hjalmar and I would sit by the fire as the rain poured down against the roof. He would wrap an arm around me and hold me close as my eyes studied the flames that licked the cobblestone.

I took my seat on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, and my father took a seat in the one right across from me. Kaia climbed out of my father’s lap and curled up onto my own while Harley sat at my feet on the floor, wringing his hands in his lap. There was seating around the fireplace that he could’ve taken up, but I knew this behavior well. He found himself in a new place, and he wanted to attach to what was familiar. I held Kaia close and ran my fingers through Harley’s hair. My father smirked, “it’s a modest little cottage, but this is where I raised my children. It’s much more inviting and beautiful during the day, and there’s always plenty to do,” he explained, gesturing around the house.

I nodded my head in agreement, “this place-this little cottage-will be your new home as well,” I added, gazing down into the beautiful, wonder-filled eyes of the children I was able to protect, ones who I wouldn’t fail, “the house of fear and pain you both grew up in will never be replicated here. You’ll never know hunger, abuse, or loneliness again. This is a place where you will be loved, protected, and cared for. You will know warmth and joy,” I promised, brushing Harley’s hair back before gazing into Kaia’s eyes, “you will be free to live as children. You will receive an education that is tailored to you, and I’m going to support you in whatever lies ahead,” I continued, knowing that support, love, and protection was what they needed in order to grow into the people I knew they could be.

“When you wake up in the morning, you will be introduced to the life we lead here. My father will show you both around the cottage and the land we tend to. Perhaps he’ll even bring you to the tree and tell you the story of it as he once did with me at a young age,” I suggested, glancing over at my father with a raised brow, “but for tonight, I must leave you. I have matters to tend to at the palace, and it’s already far too late for you two to still be awake,” I stated, smiling down at them to ease the tensing nerves I sensed when I mentioned that I’d have to leave them again. It was similar to when I mentioned it before tucking them both into bed. When I was finished in the dungeons, I’d head back to Midgard, so this could potentially be the final time they saw me. Still, I had complete faith that-should I perish on Midgard-my father would take care of them and raise them as he did me.

Neither of them protested the plan, but they just brought themselves closer to me. As soon as Kaia let out a little yawn, her eyelids becoming heavier over her doe blue eyes, I knew that it had been the longest day of their lives. So much had transpired, and they were both ready for bed. The warmth of the fire, the smell of the hot cobblestone mixed with the smell of the forest that was carried in by the soft breeze, and the sound from our family stable and the rustling leaves were enough to make anyone tired. I lifted Kaia up, settling her body on my hip, and I held my hand out for Harley. Once he rose to his feet, I led him into my bedroom, opening the door to reveal the place I grew up. It was my little section of the cottage, a place that belonged to me. Surely, my father would end up building onto the house once more to make extra room-a plan he spoke of often-but for the time being, Harley and Kaia needed a place to rest their heads.

I lowered Kaia into the bed first, watching as she nestled into the warmth of the blanket and pillows. Loki always teased me for the sheer amount of blankets and pillows I always requested on any bed we shared, but he was no better. Once Kaia was settled into the bed, Harley climbed in next to her, pulling the blankets up to his chin. I situated myself on the edge of the bed next to Harley, “I’m going to return before daybreak to see you both prior to me going back to Midgard. Don’t wait up for me, though. My business at the palace will take some time, and you both need your sleep. The man I’m leaving you with is the man who raised my brother and I, so I know the type of man he is. If I didn’t think he would treat you as his own, I wouldn’t be leaving you with him. He’s going to make you both feel at home here, and by the time he finishes showing you around tomorrow, I’ll be back, okay?” I asked, wanting to make sure they were as comfortable as possible before I left them.

“But you will come back, right?” Harley asked after nodding his head. There was a clear look of concern in his eyes, mirroring the concern he wore when I was preparing to leave with Tony. He was worried about me. It was the same worry I had when I was a child and my father was leaving for battle.

I knew that I couldn’t lie to them, but I also couldn’t let them down, not with their expectant eyes on me with so much hope. I sighed, knowing that my answer would need to be delivered in the most diplomatic way possible. It was a balancing act. I didn’t want to startle them by being too hopeful, but I also didn’t want to tell them about my situation with my sudden lack of strength and high probability of not returning, “I don’t know what the future holds, little one, but I do know that I have more reasons to return now than ever before,” I answered, grasping onto his hand as my eyes flickered between the two of them, the two additional reasons for me to fight as hard as I could.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his forehead, lingering there for a moment as I tried to pour every ounce of maternal love I had into that one simple gesture. When I pulled my lips away, I rested my forehead against his own for a fleeting moment before moving on and repeating the process with Kaia. I transferred the most beautiful dreams to both of them, wanting them to sleep soundly without the fear that had continuously plagued them. I sat upright on the bed, gazing down at them, and the memory of my meeting with Frigga after Hjalmar’s death resurfaced. She spoke the comforting words I wished I had heard from him, comforting words that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. In that moment with the children, it was my turn to pass on that wisdom to them, “know that if something happens-if I don’t return-that nothing truly dies, it simply retires for a while only to return again when we need it most. If I don’t return, look to nature, and you’ll always find me there,” I smiled, “I love you both so much that nothing-not even death itself-could part me from you.”

The plan at the stables worked exactly how Heimdall said it would. Sindri, the man who was in charge of the palace stables, waited patiently for my arrival. While he couldn’t hide his joy that I had returned, he didn’t make a scene about it, either. There was a joy in his eyes that I’d only seen when the common people looked at Thor or Odin. They were almost...awe-struck. I didn’t understand why I received the same attention, but it was clear to see that I held a place in certain hearts around Asgard. Sindri whispered to me about how glad he was that I had returned, even if it was only for a short time, and as he stumbled over his words, I wrung my hands slightly, feeling the anticipation creeping up with the thoughts of seeing Loki in person once again. The previous time hadn’t ended well at all, so I was taking another calculated risk.

I handed the beautiful, chestnut mare away, understanding why Heimdall had chosen one that was so plain. It was so that just in case anyone had caught a glimpse of the horse, they wouldn’t know if it was me. My own horse, Aria, was pale white. She had carried me into battle more times than I could count, and she left the battles with me, oftentimes covered in blood. She came to me in the strangest of ways, too. There was one night, late in the evening, when I heard a voice in the forest that sounded familiar but foreign all at the same time. It was the voice of a woman, but I couldn’t decipher her message. Instead of waking my father and brother to accompany me, I grabbed a torch and wandered through the woods, following the strange voice. It seemed to pull me in each direction, never staying in one place, almost like the voice wanted me to get lost.

Every step I took that night felt like I was growing both closer and farther away from the voice I desperately wanted to make myself acquainted with. With each step, though, her voice became clearer, even when it did seem to distance itself from me. My name was upon her lips, an enchanting sound that I hadn’t heard before then, but it was a sound I had familiarized myself with through my visions of the past. While I didn’t know who it was at the time, I knew her now. Death. That night, Death called to me, lured me into the forest, and left me a gift. Her voice did nothing but pull me in. Each time I heard it, whether I was dreaming, having a vision, or in the comfort of my own home, her voice captivated me and left me unable to fight back the urge to seek her out.

When I had finally reached that familiar tree-the tree of life and death-the voice suddenly stopped as I gazed upon the beautiful horse. She was magnificent. Her body looked strong, and she was taller than any horse in Asgard, but she was more agile than any other, too. She was a majestic beast with a pale white coat and an ashen mane and tail. She was beautiful, strong, and brave. She was a creature infused with a strange sorcery. She had received wounds and blows that would’ve killed any other stallion or mare, wounds that should have killed her, but she continued on, strong as ever. By the time I brought her back home, her wounds had healed completely, and she was only left in her blood, my blood, or the blood of others who perished on the battlefield. She was famous for being my horse, so when she was seen around Asgard, people knew I was present. That was the last thing I needed when I was trying to sneak around.

With my gown flowing behind me, I walked through the halls of the palace as quickly as possible, passing by a plethora of guards who simply gave small nods as I passed by, but they never brought any attention to me as they normally did. Normally, most of the guards would strike up a conversation, but that night was different. It was just as Heimdall had said. My presence wouldn’t be spoken of in the morning. The guards would keep my secrets, looking in the opposite direction as if they were oblivious. As I padded through the winding halls of the palace, trying to avoid the places I feared I’d be caught by Frigga or Odin, I passed by one of the many balconies Loki and I had stood upon to gaze out at the world we loved so dearly, a world that never fully accepted us.

Upon crossing that balcony, I cast my eyes out to catch a glimpse of Asgard only to find that the balcony had not been empty. With her back facing me, I hoped not to catch the attention of my queen, the woman who helped raise me, the woman who knew more about me than almost anyone else. I knew that Frigga had often taken late night strolls through the castle, which was something I partook in when I spent the night in Loki’s chambers-a frequent occurrence. When the moon hit a certain position in the sky, I knew that it was time to leave the warm arms of my life, dress myself, and walk the halls of the palace with his mother, listening to stories of his boyhood. Most of the memories were ones I had been present for, as there had rarely been a moment Loki and I weren’t together, but there were others as well: beautiful moments.

Not wanting to risk being caught and kept from my plans to visit Loki, I tried to step back as quickly as possible. There were other ways to the dungeons, other hallways that wouldn’t result in my presence being discovered by the Allfather. I knew the palace like the back of my hand, almost as if I had grown up there. While Odin rarely appreciated my presence within the walls of the castle when I was a child, Frigga argued on my behalf time and time again, telling him that it was just as much my home as it was Thor and Loki’s. She knew that wherever Loki was, that was where I wanted to be, regardless of where that was-in the middle of the beautiful palace gardens, or in the middle of the battlefield.

Before I could walk away, her voice pierced through the silence, “your presence has been missed greatly throughout Asgard,” she murmured as she turned around to face me, “the people here feel lost without you,” she added, a smile forming on her lips as her eyes took me in. The dress I wore was one Frigga had made for me upon my request. She often sent tailors to the cottage in the woods to inquire about new gowns, and the one I stood in front of her in was one I hadn’t worn in too long. It was the one I wore on the last beautiful day, the day my life came crashing down, the day I realized I’d have to face so much on my own, the day Loki left. Loki had often called the gown ethereal, and every time I wore it, he reacted as if it was the first time he laid eyes on me.

Knowing that I’d been caught, my heart sank. There was a very real possibility that she would divulge the news of my return to Odin, and I wouldn’t be able to visit Loki as I had planned. I forced a half-hearted smile onto my lips, trying to keep myself from crying. All the planning that Heimdall had done, all the oaths the guards were breaking, all the people who turned a blind eye to my presence to allow me the freedom I desired-their efforts would be in vain. Frigga motioned for me to join her on the balcony, and she turned around once more to face the wide open horizon. I took my place next to her as I had done so many times before. She often found Loki and I on the same balcony, the two of us dreaming of the world we would create together. Her voice sounded from beside me, “I understand you’re on your way to see him, and I don’t want to impede on the already limited time you have with him. I just hope you know that I’m glad you’re back, even if it’s only for tonight.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I gazed over at her, the moonlight catching a stray lock of hair that brushed against her cheek. My eyebrows furrowed as I thought of why she had always taken my side. Keeping my secrets was nothing new for Frigga, but I didn’t know whether or not I could expect the same kindness upon returning from Midgard after leaving in some of the more dire circumstances. A part of me felt like I had abandoned my people, the people I looked after for more than a thousand years, and I was certain they would see it in a similar light. Only a handful of people understood my love for the Midgardians, and even fewer understood why I would sacrifice my life to protect even one of them. Frigga was one of those people, but I didn’t expect her to be so welcoming after my “betrayal” of sorts. In a time when Asgard was in need of our best defenses, I disappeared to Midgard. Why would she extend a hand to me? What made me special in the first place? I cocked my head to the side, “you’re not going to tell the Allfather?”

She smirked as a feather-light chuckle was held back by her lips. Blue eyes that I’d stared into a thousand times throughout my life when I needed guidance locked onto mine, “you’d be surprised where loyalties lie around Asgard, my dear,” she murmured, her words mimicking those of Heimdall after he described the plan he helped devise for me. Frigga made it abundantly clear that she had been in on that plan, and I knew, deep down, that she must’ve played one of the most vocal roles in it. She brought her hand up to rest on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I do what I believe to be right, and I believe in you and my son, my little trickster. Go to him,” she urged me, gesturing to the hall I had once inhabited before our encounter.

I glanced back at the hall, feeling just how close I was to Loki, how close I was to what could be the end of my life. There was so much that was left to do, so much that was left to be said. Loki and I lived so many beautiful years together, and the idea that this could very well be my last time to be with him made me want to postpone it and hurl myself right into it all at once. There was also the fear that he could’ve changed his mind again. Since he left me that day in the garden, there had been a constant back and forth between the two of us. How was I supposed to know if his feelings were still the same as they were when I visited him in his moment of fear and need? Before I could bring myself to move, my eyes met Frigga’s hopeful ones once more, “could I ask something of you?”

“I will check on them both first thing in the morning,” she answered before I could even ask the favor of her. She knew exactly what I was going to request: that she look out for the children I brought back with me. I didn’t know how she knew about them, but I’d never been able to keep secrets from Frigga for very long, “do you think you’re the only one who watches?” she asked, clearly referencing the amount of time I spent at the edge of Asgard, inquiring about the many souls I looked after. Loki was one of those souls as well. When he cut all ties with me, I still wanted to keep an eye on him, to make sure he was okay. I’d ask Heimdall to check in on him every night when I snuck out to his observatory. Frigga broke me away from my thoughts, “when you’re gone, I keep a close eye on you just as you do everyone else. I knew you’d be bringing them back from the first moment you laid eyes on Harley. I’ll have clothes made for them immediately, and they will be taken care of until you return home. While you’re on Midgard, I want you to focus on nothing aside from making it back to us, so know that they’ll be in good hands.”

Without fully understanding why she would be so kind to me, I was overcome with so much joy to have someone like her on my side. It drove home what I’d always known. Frigga would have my back and support me in every single thing I ever endured, every journey I ever embarked on. I threw my arms around her, breathing in the familiar scent of her. It was a feeling of comfort, a moment of peace I had in a time that seemed so chaotic. Frigga had-for my entire life-been the only mother I’d ever known. She did what I dreamed my own mother would’ve done for me. The thoughts of my own mother, the mystery surrounding her and her identity, brought up the many visions once more. I tried to suppress those thoughts as Frigga’s arms wrapped around my waist, “if you decide to bring someone else back home...I still have the dress I made for her as well.”

*Loki’s POV*

I laid in bed, my back facing the cell wall that would remain sealed until the day I died. Odin would never release me, nor should he. I didn’t deserve another sunrise, not after all I had done, but I’d be lying if I claimed not to yearn for the warmth against my face once more, or the cool night air against my cheeks as I ran through the woods with my love. I faced away from the wall partly to keep myself from facing the people I once knew as friends and partly to avoid the ever-watchful eyes of Ezra. His manipulation was continuing to take its toll on me. I had to constantly keep my mind locked up in order to keep him out, but it also meant that I was keeping Eva out as well, a person I never wanted to push out again.

Every time I closed my eyes since that night, I saw the same view of her dead body on the streets of Asgard. I couldn’t sleep because I was forced to relive that nightmare, hearing her scream out to me for help, seeing her lifeless body covered in blood. It was the most intimate pain he could’ve put me through. It was as if he could just sense what I was most afraid of and use that fear against me. My greatest fear always had been and always would be the thought of losing her. Thanos knew it, and Ezra discovered it. I had done heinous things when Eva’s life was on the line. Thanos used that fear against me in order to control me, and when I slipped far enough into the madness, he didn’t even need to use that fear anymore.

In my state of madness and delusion, I told myself that I was far too damaged at that point for her to ever love me again, so I began my path of destruction and chaos. I took my anger and pain out on everyone else in my wake, tearing apart the lives that I promised to protect at one point. Her and I had made sacred oaths to do all we could to protect the people of Earth, believing them to be some of the most intriguing, fragile, and even resilient people. I tore that oath apart when I attacked New York. It was the day the madness tried to kill away the last part of who I was. The most terrifying thought was that Ezra could so easily build back up that fear and delusion because he knew what made me the most vulnerable.

Suddenly, there was a silence that fell upon the entire dungeon. Normally, the other prisoners were beating on their cell walls, yelling, trying to provoke a fight with one another, or trying to provoke fights with the guards. They were an unruly group, and Ezra was the only one who had been restrained in his time in the dungeons so far. His silence came as no shock to me, but the sudden silence that fell over everyone was uncharacteristic. Still, I couldn’t be bothered to even roll over to look at what had caused the sudden disruption. Instead, I continued staring at the wall where I had begun to hang Eva’s many letters, wanting to surround myself with their love. Even though I couldn’t have her presence in my mind, I could feel her presence through the beautiful words she had written to me over the millennia.

“Loki,” I heard that all-too-familiar voice from behind me. For a moment, I wondered if Ezra had broken past the walls of my mind once more, if I somehow had failed to keep him out. Still, I couldn’t pass up any opportunity to see her. Hoping it wouldn’t be a disembodied voice, I rolled over to see her standing inside my cell.

Knowing that it was impossible for her to actually be there, I sat up in bed, groaning as I pushed myself up. Either she was visiting me as an illusion-which would be incredible, since she was on Midgard-or Ezra was building up another horrific narrative that I’d be forced to go through. No matter what it was, I didn’t have the strength to have my heart broken once more. I turned my attention over to Ezra in his cell only to see that he was looking at her with just as much confusion and disbelief as the rest of the prisoners had. She was the only one who could ever silence them. Before my fall, Eva used to frequent the dungeons and speak to the prisoners, claiming that every living being deserved to experience life. By visiting them, she was restoring pieces of their humanity. They always stopped bickering and yelling when she arrived, and they did the same that night, “the illusions are cruel, Eva,” I growled as I narrowed my eyes at her, certain that it was a vision since Ezra looked to be taken aback by her presence. Still, if she was visiting me as an illusion, it didn’t make sense that other people were able to see her as well.

“It’s not an illusion,” she claimed, the side of her mouth pulling up into that crooked grin that I fell hard for in our younger years. Ever since our childhood, I was wrapped around her finger. Every free moment, we spent together. Even when we were meant to be busy doing other things, we found our way to each other. The crooked grin was one of those little quirks about her that I still found to be lovely.

“Pfft,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her claim, not believing her for a single second, though it would’ve made sense as to how the rest of the prisoners were able to see her, “and I’m going to be the King of Asgard someday,” I mocked, not wanting to get my hopes up. Holding her was something I yearned for since the very day I left her in the garden, since the day I broke her heart in two. However, I knew that I would die without receiving that connection again. I’d never be able to feel the delicate, sweet touch of my love ever again, and I’d never be able to feel that soft, supple skin against my own for the rest of my days. I deserved every ounce of punishment I was given. Odin didn’t want to put me out of my misery. He wanted me to live every single day with the guilt and shame I felt. Killing me would’ve been too merciful.

“I should probably start referring to you as ‘majesty’ then, shall I?” she asked, mocking me right back as she always had. Eva had never once given me a reason to question her. When she made promises, she kept them, and when she said something, she meant it. She wasn’t the type to lie or be deceitful, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to start now. Still sensing that I wasn’t fully convinced, that I wasn’t willing to throw myself at her feet until I knew-without the shadow of a doubt-that she was actually standing before me, she sighed, “close the doors of your mind. Shut me out. You’ve done it before,” she instructed me, referencing the handful of times when I had pushed her from my mind, when I strained the connection we had to one another. Eva always told me that we were bound together by a thread of stardust, and I was aware that whenever I pushed her away, it put pressure on that thread.

The process of shutting her out, of ripping her away from me, left me feeling cold and isolated. It took its toll on my emotions, but I wanted to prove her wrong in that moment. Coming to me as an illusion was one of the cruelest things she could’ve done, but she didn’t understand that, and she never should. It was similar to holding a piece of red meat in front of the face of a starving predator. I was starved for her touch, the feel of her gentle, loving, beautiful, sun-kissed skin against my own. I yearned to hold her, to wrap my arms around her just one more time, even though I’d be hard-pressed to let her go. I wanted to fall asleep in her arms, to hear her sing me to sleep as she had so many times before. A part of me would rather see nothing than see a vision of her.

My eyes connected with those brilliant green ones. Each time I saw them, they were more beautiful than last time, but they were also much more despondent. It was as if she took in the most breathtaking sights from her travels, and her eyes reflected that, but they also reflected the horror and sorrow she witnessed along with the beauty. So much of that pain happened after I left her in the garden, after I spoke with Odin, after I tore us apart in order to save us both from the long-term misery. Before that moment, the pain in her eyes wasn’t as prevalent. Her eyes were a window into her free-spirited soul, and I had a hand in tainting that.

As I closed my eyes, I came to terms with the fact that when I opened them, she wouldn’t be in my cell with me. The only two explanations as to how she was in my cell on that night was that Ezra put her in my head or that Eva was projecting herself to me. Either way, the process of closing my mind would push them both out, and she would be gone. A stray tear cascaded down my cheek as I wished for my suffering to come to an end. I wanted to hold her, and seeing her as a vision was a constant reminder that I’d never be able to do that again. It was a reminder that I threw away my one chance at happiness when I distanced myself from her. The woman who stood by my side was the one I cast away.

Upon opening my eyes, the pain having run its course, I expected to see an empty cell. Instead, I was caught off-guard to see that she was still present, a tender smile making its home on her lips. She still stood on the other side of my cell in the dress I found to encompass her eloquent beauty better than any other garment. She knew it was my favorite gown of hers, as it made her look like a proper goddess. When she wore it, we would often find our peace in the forest, and I’d busy myself making a crown of flowers, leaves, and twigs for her to wear. Upon placing the crown atop her head of wild, dark brown hair, I’d call her a proper wood nymph, which always elicited a laugh that spread happiness and joy into my very soul.

Before she could speak, before I could even comprehend that she was standing before me in the flesh, I shot out of the bed and scrambled over to her, throwing my arms around her slender frame. My arms wrapped tightly around her waist as I tried to pull her closer and closer into me. It was almost as if we would never be close enough until we molded into one being. Suddenly, my entire world felt like it exploded with life. As I held her, the colors in the room seemed to become more vivid than they had once been. I buried my face into her neck, breathing in the sweet smell of her. She always smelled of the forest, which wasn’t uncommon since she spent the majority of her time there, but she also smelled like a fresh spring morning. In those small details, I knew it wasn’t just a dream.

Her arms wrapped around me, holding me close to her as the joy overcame me and manifested itself in a way it had only a handful of times in the past. Tears began to freely fall from my eyes as I held onto the one thing I let go of because of my fear and pain. She was like a breath of fresh air when I was drowning, and even though I was undeserving of that, it didn’t mean I appreciated it any less. I shook my head, still in utter disbelief, as my tears soaked into her shoulder. It was as if every ounce of pain and grief had led up to that very moment, and I could truly feel just how heavy my actions weighed on her. I pulled away from her just enough to gather her face in my hands and turn her head up until our eyes met.

Her cheeks were wet with fresh tears, and I watched as droplets of both joy and sorrow continued to spill from her eyes. I shook my head, wiping them away with the pads of my fingers just as quickly as they were falling. The last thing I wanted was to see her cry, but the moment was overwhelming for both of us. For some reason, she missed me just as much as I missed her. It would’ve been easier on her heart if she just tossed me aside and forgot about me; however, I knew her well enough to know that she’d never do something so cruel...not like me. My bottom lip quivered as I held back a sob, “I’m sorry, Eva. I’m so sorry. I cannot say the words enough to make up for all the harm I’ve caused you, all the pain and suffering I’ve put you through. There was always a reason for it, but that reason is foreign to me now. I’ll spend my entire life trying to make it up to you,” I promised, pressing my forehead against hers and relishing in the feeling of her skin against my own. Gods, I missed that.

Before I could move away from her, she grasped the back of my neck, and in one swift motion, she pressed her lips against my own. It was very much like our first kiss. It started quickly, but the moment our lips met, we began to melt into one another. Our lips molded together perfectly, much like our bodies always had. After a passionate night, I would hold her close to me, our bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle that we both knew how to solve from the beginning. No matter how we held each other, our jagged edges just fit into the other perfectly. Our broken hearts still had plenty of room for each other, and I felt that once again. For the longest time, I debated whether or not she wanted to see me again, and if she saw me, I was sure we’d never again share the love we once had. My doubts were put to rest the moment she kissed me, though. The soft, tender touch of her lips against mine pulled me back to the man I was in the garden...

The man who stood before her with a ring in his pocket.

As the initial shock wore off, I gathered her body in my arms and pulled her flush against me. Her body arched into mine as our lips danced to a song only we knew the words to. Her right palm was flat against my cheek, and she draped her left arm over my shoulder and tangled her slender fingers into my wild black waves. The kiss was needy in a pure sense. Throughout the course of our lives, we were with each other. Even as children, we found comfort in each other far more than we found comfort being apart. We never spent more than a day without one another, and our love blossomed through that closeness. Being with her, I never felt lost. I always felt like I belonged somewhere, and that was in her warm embrace. She was my home. The kiss we shared was our acceptance that this was where we were meant to be: together.

“I wanted to hate you,” she confessed as she pulled away from the kiss that left the sweetest taste upon my lips. I continued to hold her against me, feeling that the closeness was what she desired more than anything in that moment. Her conflicted eyes met mine once more as she spilled her heart out to me, “I wanted to hate you so badly because maybe if I did, the pain would’ve died away, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate you even after everything you had done, after all the promises you broke, after all the lives that were lost, after all the time that was taken away from us. It took me so long to understand that the man who did that-the man who broke my heart-wasn’t you. The man who tried to kill away my love took every ounce of happiness I’d ever felt in my life, but...I still love you because that wasn’t you,” she added, the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks.

I cast my eyes away from hers, unable to look at what I had done to the woman I loved so dearly. I never stopped loving Eva, even during our time apart. The thread that bound our hearts together had never been broken no matter how many times I tried to cut it. We were one being, and nothing I had done was able to change that. All it did was cause the two of us so much unneeded pain. My decisions, my corruption, my descent into madness had caused her so much unbelievable pain and agony, and I felt it all when I looked into her eyes. It was the first moment we were able to speak of the tragedy that plagued our relationship, and it pained me so deeply that I hurt the woman I promised to protect so many years prior. The hand that still rested on my cheek turned my head until our eyes met once more. She observed me, her eyes flickering between mine as I opened my mouth to speak, “if I could go back with all the knowledge I now possess, I would’ve forfeited the rest of my life if it meant saving you from the agony I put you through. You deserved the very best of me, and I failed you. I never would’ve pushed you away in the first place. I would’ve grabbed your hand and asked you to run away with me, but I didn’t. I think about that every single day.”

She shook her head, “listen to me when I tell you this, Loki,” she urged me, moving the hand that had once been tangled in my hair to rest against the other side of my face. She cradled my head in her strong, loving hands. That was one of the most stunning things about my beloved. Her strength never diminished her beauty, and her beauty never diminished her strength. They worked in perfect harmony. She was delicate and fragile, but she was also strong and brave. She was fierce and protective, but she was also tender and quiet. It was the most incredible phenomenon, and I was still left in awe when thinking about the woman I had the privilege of loving for so long, “the man you became was not who you are, and I know that. I know you better than I know myself. The man who did those things was hurt, angry, and full of grief, and he tried to push you aside to make room for himself.”

“The man who left me in the garden that day wasn’t the same man who picked a small bouquet of flowers every single day like it was the first time we were seeing each other. He wasn’t the same man who laid awake with me after a private night of love to dream of what our future family would look like. The man who hurt me wasn’t the same man who loved me. You taught me some of life’s most valuable lessons, Loki, and you did it by loving me. For a thousand years, you stood by my side and picked me up when I fell. Now, it’s my turn to show you that I’m prepared to do the same for you because I still love you after all this time, after all the space that has been put between us. Nothing and no one has ever been able to change that, and they never will. I’ve loved you since before the first star began to shine at the beginning of time, and I’ll love you long after the last one burns out.”

My hands cut between hers and I caressed her cheeks with my long fingers. They had always been one of her favorite things about me-my hands. I was unsure as to why she was so fascinated with them, but when she described her love for them, her poetic nature showed through time and time again. She claimed that from the very first moment we lost ourselves in each other, she watched my fingers whenever we spent the night together. My anticipation for our first night together was clear in the trembling of my fingers, which was something I found embarrassing, but it was something she found endearing and memorable. It happened in the moments of excitement, love, and fear. My fingers anchored themselves against her cheeks. One of her hands covered mine while the other rested against my chest, directly over my heart. I sighed, “I hurt you in ways I can never make up for, and I’ll be searching for redemption until I take my last breath, Eva. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I’ve done,” I confessed, tears continuing to stream down my cheeks.

“I’ve forgiven you, though,” she whispered, her voice like a feather-light touch in the early hours of the morning. Her eyes filled with the same determination I saw from her time and time again, but there was more clarity than ever before, “I forgave you for all of it the moment I saw that you were alive on Midgard. I forgave you for what happened in New York when I saw how much pain you were in. I’ve forgiven you, and I’m going to help you forgive yourself no matter what it takes.”

I shook my head, unable to understand how someone who was filled with so much light would venture into the darkness to meet me where I had been dwelling for so long. She was still the embodiment of righteousness and purity. She valued life above all else, and when she fought, she fought for life. On Midgard, she saw a side of me that wanted to ruin that, a side of me that was selfish and cruel. I didn’t understand why or how she could possibly forgive something so horrific, “I’m a monster,” I reminded her, stepping away from her and disconnecting our bodies from one another. The cold set in once more, but it was more shocking when I had finally experienced the warmth again.

Frustration filled her eyes as my words sunk in. She hated it when I used the word “monster” to describe myself, but it was the truth. I had always been a monster, and I was convinced that she had just been too blinded by our love to see that. I didn’t see my goodness the way she claimed to, and after everything I had done, everything I willingly took part in, there was nothing good left within me at all. She refused to let me go, though, “you’re the man I love, the only man I’ll ever love. You’re Loki, the God of Mischief, a Prince of Asgard. You’re one of the greatest sorcerers this realm has ever seen. You’re a poet, a composer, a work of art. You’re my love, my light, and my life,” she explained, closing the space between us, her eyes pleading with me to understand, “you are so much, Loki, but you’ve never been a monster.”

“What about New York?” I pressed, wanting her to see me for what I had done.

“You were a man who was taken advantage of by a monster, a man who was manipulated and torn to pieces. Do I wish that things had played out differently? Of course, I do, but I don’t have the time or the energy to think of what could have been when I’m with you right now, ready to show you all the love I’ve saved since the garden. Besides, the monster in New York wasn’t you...it was Thanos,” she hissed, his name like venom on her tongue. It was startling to hear her speak his name. That was a name I never wanted to hear on the tongue of my beloved. She knew of him, and that was too dangerous. All I could think of was that she would try to avenge me for what I went through prior to New York, and she would be killed in the process.

Her eyes flickered away from mine, and I noticed a hue in them that I’d never seen before. A hint of red, like the color of a bleeding rose, infiltrated the color of the meadow. I’d never seen anything like it before, but by the time she blinked, it was gone, and I wondered if it was only in my imagination. She cast her eyes back up to meet mine, and I saw the rage in her, “when I find Thanos-and I will-he’s going to beg for death when he sees what I do to him. I’m going to tear him apart and make him hurt in ways he’s never even imagined. All the pain I’ve felt over this will pale in comparison to what I will do to him, and when I’m finally done with him, when I’ve finally had enough, I’m going to rip his life apart. Every person he’s ever loved, ever cared for, ever spoken to will feel my fire. His memory will be eradicated from the universe before I kill him in the most brutal way imaginable. All the while, I plan to enjoy the way he screams, the way he begs for his life. He doesn’t know death yet; he hasn’t met me,” she ranted, catching me off guard.

In all our time with each other, in the thousand years we’d spent together, I had never heard a single word of hatred and contempt upon her lips. She was the most merciful, kind-hearted, gentle woman in the known and unknown universe. She breathed life and goodness into everything she did. To hear her speak so harshly about a man she had never met, a man who could end her life with the snap of his fingers, was horrifying. I knew that she was a force to be reckoned with, but I never expected to see so much hatred in a woman who showed nothing but love. The contempt in her eyes, the brutality in her voice, the violent desires she had, I knew it all. I knew that look. I knew those feelings. It was dangerous. It was chaotic. It was destructive. It was…

Madness.

12 notes · View notes