#lemme just cry over here in silence

[sea-of-dust]

You gotta be kidding...

5wirl x GN! Reader

Summary: They make a reference to something personal between you two while performing live. Almost putting a spotlight on you.

Notes: Modern AU, mention of irl video game and band: Remmber Sports (they're good recommend Tiny Planets),

Warnings: suggestive humor, swearing, never expect proof reading

He met you before he was an idol. High school to be exact. You two were in the same music class bonding over how much you dreaded your music teacher. "He sounds like a divorced mom.." "isn't he married?" "Exactly" you flop onto your desk

You two have been in almost every class together years afterward, just so you didn't have to work with a stranger for group projects. People would would find you two around school alot and walking home together. "And they were roommates," one of your classmates giggle as you two casually hold hands while speaking to eatchother, in reality, you both didn't notice

He was always so calm but also somehow could smell your problems?!? "Ughhhh" "Lemme guess they chewed gum loudly again?" You spring up placing your head back down. "Stop knowing based off my grunts!" "And you're mad at me for not noticing something earlier" "HA!-" "nm it's because I didn't let you sleep in" "...I genuinely despise you"

He started catching feelings midway through your first semester of the new school year. You did notice he sometimes hugged you tighter, looked at you a little longer, he even got small trinkets for you, noticing how fond he looked when you casually wore them.

It was by the end of the year he had told you he got a scouted as an idol, it took alot for him to tell you but it worked thank god you didn't ditch him like he thought.

"So uh..." "?" "I got scouted" your eyes widen, he thought all his fears came to life before you hugged him tightly and squealed. "I TOLD YOU YOU HAD A NICE VOICE!!" "You didn't have to yell" "Shut up you cry over stuff like this!" Now you were the one that oddly knew things about him...you were right...he did cry...alot like the whole group knew the next day.

The group try to hype him up into asking you out. "DUDEEEE COME ON THEYRE NOT GOING ANYWHERE" "I can ask to hangout" he mutters holding his phone in his hand "COME ONNN" venti and heizou sync up kazuha speaking up "ask them to go for dinner" his cheeks turn pink almost instantly "UH MAYBE NOT COME ON- WHAT IF-" "and sent" "WHEN DID YOU TAKE MY PHONE?!" "You'll live" Xiao rolls his eyes as aether bickers with him, his phone noti goes off. "Sure what time?" There's a silence in the room as Xiao gives him the phone. "At 4?" "bet ☆" you and those star emojis how are you like this. "ITS A DATE!!" "YEAAAAAAA" they sounded like a frat house.

He gets all giddy on that date and when you two finally go on one you finally hit the maybe were dating phase but you both don't wanna admit it to eatchother. So the rest of 5wirl planned something for you two. "Alr we know he likes them nowww...." "we...." "Why don't we perform for them" "on their friend ani?" "How do you know that..." they turn to heizou "because he saved it on his calander" "..." and so they planned out your ani for you two.

And so their evil plans acted out perfectly, you two went out on another date and later that day you dropped him off at the concert. What you didn't expect was heizou dragging you to a seat. "Stay right here and don't move alright" you watched them get on stage aether seeming to be looking for you, they get to performing when one of the lyrics hit you. "Hey why don't you meet me at four?" An almost slured pronunciation followed by aether finally finding you. His eyes so tender yet teasing. You felt your heart skip a beat a small wink only making you more bashful.

To think the performance would end there nope. As you tried to get off your seat aether greets you with a cheeky smile a small ring in his hand. You turn around quickly. "I guess I flustered you more than he ever will" he leans on you wrapping his arms casually around your waist while you continues to fluster you. "He was just a small crush..." "enough to have you gush for 4 months about it" he laughs softly kissing you cheek. "When did you even gain this much confidence" "small words of advice" your mind immediately goes to Heizou. "Alrighty then..." without a warning you pull your face closer forcing him to slouch over you. "Did heizou tell you what to do incase of this situation aswell?" Thank god that concert hall was almost empty and the seat you were at made it almost impossible to see you two because the next thing you see and hear are a bunch of idiots going YEAAAAAAAAAAA. Aether x y/n shirts and a poster held up by Xiao. They ship it.

You made cute accessories! He's seen your work on social media and reached out. "You're accessories are so cute do you have a store?" "Nah I only sell locally near my college" turns out you both went to the same college he's never did a double check so fast in his life. As soon as he saw you he cupped one of your hands, his eyes sparkling in pure joy. "GIMMIE EVERYTHING IN STOCK!" "HUH?!"

Number one fan he's following you around. He'd be your personal advertisement always wearing your stuff and flexing it to others. He WILL be the most annoying person on campus

When you tell him to stop he just kinda tilts his head until he realizes what your saying as if he finally loaded. "Oh! Alright!" That's when you make an almost massive mistake "I did enjoy your support tho but youre-" "SO YOU LIKE HAVING A FAN?!" And so began the simping. He's all over you. Every class your with him? He's leaning into you, whispering random stuff in your ear. Your eyebags got darker everytime he did this but he was more chill than your online fans.

The days you also leaned into him are the days you've never seen someone more flustered. "Hm?" You lift up your head watching him cover his face quickly. "Venti?" He turns away from you even more. "Don't look at me! Where did you even learn that-" "I mean you do that to me all the time" "don't say it outloud-" "did you just whimper?" He stops suddenly using is braids to cover his face as he mumbles to himself. You bring that up to traumatize him

He had to get used to you showing affection, you weren't even dating yet! Come on, don't do this! Even a small smile he'd tease you for it but he'd definitely scream into his pillow about it.

He only asked you out when you made your feeling for him known. A small note under his door telling asking him to meet up at an amusement park later that weekend was where it clicked he looked and sounded like a little girl you could hear his "YEAAAAAAAA" from your room.

He's doing everything he's on a call with the others he just needs them to hear his my story animated from start to finish. "Can you not play that effen punk music main stream shit can barely hear you" "Shut the fuck up hot topic this is important!" "This is why you fucked up your eyeliner" "I DID?!?!" He checked in his mirror realizing he didn't and mostly argued with Xiao. "If they ditch you you deserve it" "quit being a downer! Good luck Venti!" They all mostly wave at the camera before hanging up leaving you and him alone for the evening

He loved it. He was like a child pointing at things he wanted. "Do you have the money?" He looks away pounting "not an actual question I'll play for it" his eyes widen almost sparkling. You two left flexing your carnival game knowledge and venti covered in plush prizes you won for him.

As payback for the newfound plush army, he invited you to a concert. "Oh so you did have money" "Shut up" "hehe" your teasingly small laugh is so cute stop doing that. What you didn't know is that he strapped some keychains you made on his belt, and he NEVER STOPPED WINKING, if you had to drink everytime he found you in the audience and winked you'd have five drinks...per song. It was cute seeing him smirk whenever you slightly blushed at him.

"Y/n!!" He smiles as you wait for him outside the concert hall. "Lets go to another amusement park!" He giggles embracing you "right now?" "Yea!" He nuzzles his face into your chest "sure..when you take off all of those keychains Jesus how much did you-" "200 bucks" "...VENTI" "THEYRE CUTE I KNOW YOU EYED THEM!" You blush slightly smirking "I did...they look adorable on you" you struck him right in the heart leaving both of you flustered. "The amusement parks a few blocks away" "LETS GO!" as if it never happened you both headed to the amusement park.

You beat him at a rhythm game he liked. You got first in a video game event he liked since then him he's declared you his rival. "Who the hell is this guy getting in the way of the number one spot" he grits his teeth checking your profile. "347 full combed songs...300 all perfects...and maxed out cards" he rolls his eyes

He wanted to let off some steam at an arcade only to find out he got beat in that game also! With the same name tag as the rythum game champ. He nearly smashes the machine when he notices you step up to it. "Shame, this games kinda better when I'm kicking someone's ass..." You sigh only now, noticing him, smirking at this chance you take it. "You mind playing this with me?" You perk up. Thinking this is a good way to let off steam, he accepts. "I won't go easy." "Alright!" You let him pick the song and almost immediately grab the handbar

Strange, he thinks he doesn't need it. As soon as the song starts, he hears your feet absolutely slam on the board. He's shocked but doesn't look over he's focused on his side of the screen. By the end, you huff heavily, looking up. "You won." You put your fist up for a fist bump. "Ah that songs so annoying~" he dosent give you one back putting in his names for national ranks. That's when he noticed that you put in the name the person on every rythum game had and as soon as you pressed confirm he nearly pounces on you. "SO YOURE THE ONE TAKING THE NUMBER 1 SPOTS EVERYWHERE!" "Yea what about it-" he looks at you angrily, calming down a bit before turning back to you. "I declare you my rival" "well...If you wanna we could rematch sometime gimmie your number?"

Ever since then you two have skeduled days to go to the arcade to whale on eatchother and going out to eat afterword. "I'm pretty sure you'd like it reminds me of your face ☆" you say as you point to a horrible cgi skeleton. "Screw you" "heh". You'd eventually open up to him more and invited him out to places more often. He didn't wanna say it outloud but he genuinely enjoyed those moments

One of the times you two went, you try to teach him gutair hero, he kinda mumbles to himself. "You can just play on your lap" "hmmhmm mhm em You can't be this msm hm" "what-" he realizes he said that outloud and covers his face nearly dropping the gutair. "I didn't hear that last part" he sighs in relief "but do you think im cute?" And so he's even more ashamed of himself. "Context clues" you scratch your cheek in a bit of embrassment "I think you're pretty cute too" you embarssingly laugh leaning away

you're pretty sure you could see his heart skip a beat as he looks up at you, his face nearly entirely pink. Peaking at you through his hand. You decide to tease your friend. "Seems like you wanna date me~" He moves back quickly, covering his mouth to hide his blushing. "I'm fine with that ya know~" you lean into him him still covering his face. He looks away looking back at you,his eyes softening "I'm fine with the thought of kissing you..well maybe a little more than fine but-" your words were cut off as you feel his lips touch yours. Quick yet soft, his hands wrapping around your shoulders. You lean back trying to catch your breath "...how long have you've been waiting to do that?" "...a few months now" "That's kinda adorable Xiao" you lean in for another kiss. You two recount that day as your first date

Ever since then he's more willing to hang out a little more clingy too. Whenever he had a show he would ask you if you were busy that day before sending you the ticket link. "Hey are you busy on the 14th?" "No why?" He'd send you the link without a secound thought "you know I'm not really into idols that much" "I'm in the group..." "...bought"

He actively looks for you in the audience. You would text him where you were sitting beforehand, yet he'd still look like a lost puppy. As soon as he finds you, his eyes sparkled. He forced himself to calm down before giving you a small wave

It was by the end of the show where he was performing the last song and you noticed something about their dance it kinda looked like what you would do on a song you knew well. It was then that you realized Xiao made a dance routine inspired by your sweaty gaming dance. You covered your face in embrassment but peaked through your hands. You couldn't believe he paid that much attention to you. He smirks noticing this

As the show ends, he runs over to you, "That was...a little embrassing" you blush a bit. "..." "dosent mean I didn't like it tho!" Trying not to offend him further you mumble on of how great the performance was. At first he's pretty stiff with his arms crossed you'd think he was annoyed till he kissed you again leaning in to hug you. "I'm glad you liked it" he whispers ever so softly in your ear.

He offen saw you working on projects for bands he likes and decided to commission you. He invited you to a studio and you both began to focus on what he commissioned you on. "I'm looking for something calm yet something someone would listen to in the morning to wake them up..." "hmmm" you play a calm chord progression on your gutair. "Speed up a bit" he taps his foot as if keeping pace as you speed up your playing. "That's pretty good! Sounds like a Remmber sports song" " YOU LISTEN TO THEM?" "Yea?" "Oh my god I thought you wouldn't catch that-" "they're a bit of a guilty pleasure"

You two always worked together after that whenever he would be lost in thought you'd just play hall of the mountain king behind him. He'd turn around slowly as your playing got more intense. "You think of something?" "..."

You pretty much became 5wirl's offical gutairst after kazuha recommended you. They'd make fun of him for how long you two stayed at the studio together. "Kazuha~, you left us sleeping in the shopping cart again!" Venti grins ear to ear "must really like that gutairst." Kazuha smiles."They're just a friend I find it easy to get along with" he thinks about what you two were talking about his eyes softening as if it were an old fond memory "and he's doing it again" heizou sighs jokingly

A few months of performing together, they treat you as family, almost apart of 5wirl. As soon as Kazuha ever left the room they'd turn to you in a heartbeat. "You sure you don't kiss when we're not looking?" "Eh?!" "Does kazuha usually get all mumbly around you" "he does but-" "I KNEW IT" "dose he show you his unironic leaf collection" they all lean in expectingly. "No wha-" You made sure kazuha was too far to hear what you were about to say "...OK so this one time..." they listened to you like their lives depended on it.

The day you told them about that is the day you regret the most, they always looked you and kazuha up and down. Snicker to themselves. "How much you wanna bet they might kiss today" "CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT" you let out a sigh walking into the recording studio to practice, a familiar humming following you in a few secounds later. You two sing together and when you finish he finally speaks up. "You know... this the song I was playing when I first realized I was into you" "heh really" you stop strumming, realizing what he said "wait what-" he laughs softly at your reaction placing a hand on your cheek. "That songs kinda special to me..." he holds your hand tenderly with his unbandaged hand. "Reminds me of how much I love you" your eyes widen a bit as he looks at you with the most soft eyes. "I love you too kazuha" you smile gently, letting him lean in to kiss you

All of them noticed you two were dating it was odvious, the way you two acted around eatchother gave litterally everything away. "You two give eatchother less personal space than before are you dating?" "What?" "And you smell like him-" "how do you know what he smells like" "so you're dating?!" "How did you come to that conclusion?!" You and venti would bicker trying to hide your relationship with kazuha after he forgot to tell you he already told them.

Finally a show came along a small gig surprising a popular idol group would show, but still nice. You looked at the music sheet for the song looked up at him, sighed, and looked back. He looked so pleased giving you a few riffs and you look down to see another reason to go to therapy.

What he didn't put on hell on paper was a very veryyy familiar cord progression. He played it himself and put it in post. Making another version so if you ever asked you wouldn't notice, and a few weeks later they went live

You watched them in the audience, hearing the song you helped on and felt your smile fade into a straight face as you heard your solo along with the memorable melody gutair. He saw this trying to avoid a giggle while performing, he's suffering from you brainrot the rest of the show, some fancams caught him getting kicked by heizou or Xiao.

"So how did you like the show~" "Xiao almost kicked you off the stage..." There's a silence. "He dosent kick hard enough for that...but at least you enjoyed it" he smiles, pinching your cheeks and rubing your face, you look away hearing him giggle at your behavior. "I'll make you a coffee-" "don't you dare make a reference" he smirks at you "hehe"

You were online friends usually playing main stream games or random stuff you found. Youd always play together though, never single player! He hates that

"Are you playing a single player game..." "no-" "LIAR ITS ON YOUR STATUS" "SHIT- I mean I have no idea what your talking about" "...atleast stream it" he always got all pouty when he couldn't play with you

He'd definitely randomly interrogate you because you found something out on someone you both knew. "IS IT ABOUT-" "shush shus shu stfu quiet" "oh come on dude what is she gonna hear you?" "We're in a public call" "oh...LMAO" "DUDE"

When you combine both these loves, his love for you playing a co-op detective game with you has become the best thing for him to ever experience. "Who will be first to solve this?" "We're supposed to work together heizou" "oh...oh 😏" "nevermind I'm gonna play hitman without you" his avatar suddenly turns to face you and emotes a shocked reaction "OH COME ON"

He started catching feelings for a while. Ever since you two got on a call for the first time, your voice kinda intransted him. "Your voice Is so nicee" muttering into the mic yet you heard him clearly. "Thank you?" "It really is" its like you can see him currently slumped over his desk just day dreaming about you.

Didn't stop your offline friend for teasing you about him too. "Ooo he's into you~" "nuh uh nope nope!" The tips of your ears turn a pink. "And you like him back might aswell seal the deal" "STOP IT!" Blushing heavily you slam your hand down. Unsurprisingly Heizous in a simular situation 4nemo teasing him over just how much he talks about you. "Ohhh they're so cool" "they smell nice" "stop mocking me" he huffs "then get with them" they say in sync "stop weirdly harmonizing" he sits down covering his currently pink face.

Didn't help when you two first saw eatchother. "What the hell you live so closeby" "I know right what's next you're at my favorite Cafe conveniently the next table over" you turn over your shoulder seeing someone smile at their phone turn back and type "you mentioned before you had moles under both eyes right?" The persons face dropping looking around."Yea?" Without typing back, you walk over sitting infrot of him. "Bro, someone's sitting at my table, hold on" you smile at him typing back "oh sorry lemme just leave then my mistake 😔" "WAIT HUH?!?!" his eyes widen as he grabs your wrist "y/n?" small tears forming in his eyes pulling you into a hug with desperation. "Heizou" he hugs you tighter when he hears his name come out your mouth. "You're as pretty as I thought you'd be..." patting his head as he nuzzles into your chest. "You wanna go back to mine after this" "Yes!" With sudden enthusiasm, you two talk about your irl lives while bullying his drink of choice. "Pumpkin spice.." "oh my god shut up my again" "it's nasty" "it's good to me!!" "Shut up mom with 2 kids living in a van"

He's been going to your house at least once a week now "we should play together" he overbites his lip "I barely charged my secound controller" you overbite your lip back at him "then let's just hang out then I got news bby" visibly cringing at that last bit you let him in with him near instantly showing you a picture of him being accepted into an idol group. "Ohh you're gonna have real fangirls now" "Shut up!" "I'm gonna lead them just to make fun of you" "you're the only fangirl I'd date" "..." You visibly cringe "OH COME ON" "HAHAHA"

And so you were invited to the hell known as a debut concert and dear god was it near impossible to not be as hype as the crowd. Especially catching the fancams with him winking at you. Anyone could tell he was super inlove with whoever he was winking at especially after the group stopped in between a song witch you were barely paying attention to until you heard "I hope you guys never have to play solo!" Could have swore you felt him glare at you "speaking of solo the next songs title is-" all you paid attention to yet you look like you just woke up from a really loud noise.

"Y/n! Did you see it! Did ya like my moves" he smiles at you like a happy little dog. "It was surprisingly great Heizou" "surprising huh?" He pouts as if saddened by that comment. "But the show was amazing Heizou I'd go again" that bright glow of a smile you had is something hell never let go of, without hesitation he holds your hand "marry me" "come again?" "I mean it we should date!" Accidental slip up. He's screwed, you're gonna reject him so blatantly he's never gonna bother you again. "Heizou...that's so sudden" your eyes meet warmly "but I've been thinking the same" kissing his cheek you walk off letting him process what just happened. "WAIT WAIT WAIT YOURE NOT DITCHING ME AFTER SAYING THAT" "MAYBE I AM!" You had to run home that day but it was worth it laughing at him trying to keep up.

[enwifen]

… 𝓚iss me ౨ৎ

🫧 𓂃 (추) kisses can be scary, especially when you have no idea how, but when your best friend offers to show you the ropes you wonder… how bad can it be?

or

a fic about jakey and kissing cause meife wants to be kissed (sigh)

warning: suggestive at most, making out wc. 1.8k

When Sim Jaeyun became friends with you, never in his life could he have imagined the current situation that the two of you were in.

A random episode of Friends plays on your tv acting as background noise. Closing your eyes, you attempt to stop the tornado of thoughts chaotically swirling in your mind. Jake eyes you curiously, noting the way your eyebrows pinch together slightly which was a telltale sign that something was bothering you.

“You okay?” Your eyes shoot open which startles him a little.

“Yeah, fine.”

Jake gives you a ‘I know you’re not fine so tell me what’s up’ look. “Seriously, I am.”

“Y/n.”

“What!”

Jake sighs softly “Tell me what’s wrong.” He can see all the emotions wash over you, your mouth opening and closes as you try and find the right way to voice your thoughts without sounding like a mess.

Sitting up from having your head in his lap, you switch to facing Jake sitting cross legged on the couch. “I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

Nodding slowly, confusion is evident on your friend’s face. “Right… what’s wrong with that? Plenty of people our age are in the same boat as you.”

“Well— yes but, I’m scared that when it comes to it, I’m gonna be an awful kisser.”

“You can’t be that bad, either way it’s expected since it’ll be your first, all first kisses are bad.”

“No they’re not.” Jake squints at you before laughing.

“Yeah? And how would you know?”

Realising the irony you quickly backpedal. “I meant I don’t want mine to be bad.” The corners of his lips turn downwards as he nods, understanding where you’re coming from. A small beat of silence passes.

“What was your first time like?”

A smirk makes its way onto Jake’s lips. “Woah are we still talking about kisses here— ow!”

Still armed with your weapon (a fluffy pillow) you flinch at him in an attempt to be threatening. “You know what I mean!”

“I do, I do, lemme think…” he trails off, looking up as his memory takes him back a few years. With Jake’s gaze averted, you’re able to admire him a little (platonically, of course). His fluffy bangs hide his brows that are bunched together in thought, plush bottom lip caught between his teeth — a bad habit you noticed he had. “Ah! I remember, it was about two years ago.”

The fluffy pillow serves as a source of comfort as you hug it to your chest. “You remember my ex, Ahrin, right?” Of course you did, you never really liked her all that much. She was whiny and took up all of Jake’s attention, the period of time that they were together was the longest you had went with seeing him so irregularly.

Not that you wanted to be in her position or anything. You just missed your bestie. So much so you lost sleep at night due to how much you would cry but, like, aren’t all friends like that?

Don’t all friends do that?

Don’t they repeatedly check their phone to see if the other had texted; typing and deleting hundreds of messages only for them to be left unsent? Even after the last time they had spoken was just a couple days ago?

Don’t they apologise for leaving you on delivered for so long and spend hours promising to make it up to you, calling you ‘baby’ and ‘love’ because they know you like it?

And don’t they come over the very next day because he couldn’t wait a day longer, hugging you as if his life depended on it.

Maybe they do all of that, maybe they don’t. You and Jake did though.

“…so yeah, I guess it wasn’t terrible but- are you even listening?” Jake asks in slight disbelief, finally glancing at you who seemed to be zoning out.

“Huh? Oh- yeah! Of course I was.”

“Repeat what I just said then.” He deadpans and you’re caught, slumping in defeat.

“Whatever- my first kiss was with Ahrin, it felt kinda good back then but looking back it wasn’t that special.” Jake shrugs though you sense there’s a little more to the story.

“So you didn’t… feel any fireworks?”

He snorts at that “you watch too many movies.”

“Is that a crime? Not my fault I enjoy romanticising things… especially firsts.”

“Romanticise all you want, as long as you know none of it’s real.”

You mimic Jake’s tone earlier “and how would you know? Have you kissed anyone besides Ahrin?” Jake shakes his head and for some reason that makes you happy.

“Did I manage to ease any of your worries with my story- well I guess you didn’t listen, huh.”

“I did!”

“Oh yeah? Where did we kiss then?”

You blush, immediately giving yourself away again as you name the first thing that comes to mind. “The school library…?”

“You really think I’m that much of a nerd?” Your silence makes Jake reach for the pillow in your lap to deliver a blow of Karma though you successfully manage to block it in time, letting out a squeal.

“I surrender!” Jake grins and puts the pillow down.

“Anyway, like I said, don’t work yourself up so much about first kisses… you could always redeem yourself with the second.”

Biting your lip in thought, you nod “I guess you’re right…”

“You’re still worried about it, aren’t you?”

Guilty again, you nod.

“Babe, I promise it’s not that deep- I could even help you out if you wanted.”

You blink once. Twice. Three times for good measure.

What did he just say?

Chuckling softly at your reaction, Jake repeats himself. “I said that I could help you out… if you wanted, like, teach you how to kiss or whatever.” He adds, trying to seem completely casual as if he didn’t just basically ask to blur the already fuzzy lines between you two.

An itch in your throat causes you to swallow, trying to digest your best friend’s proposal.

He was someone you trusted a lot, Jake wasn’t some mediocre looking guy either — he was attractive, and you’d be damned to turn down the opportunity to have your first kiss with him.

“Okay.” Jake looks surprised for a moment but his shock is quickly replaced by a warm smile. Just that alone is enough to comfort you, easing the nerves that had begun to make your body feel like it was vibrating.

He shifts a little on the couch to sit more comfortably before patting his lap, gesturing for you to sit. It’s not like this would be the first time but, now with the given circumstances everything felt different. The poor pillow is tossed aside as you climb into Jake’s lap, rough denim of his cargos brushing against your thighs.

Anxiously you look up at him, clutching the fabric of his sweatshirt. He smiles again, reassuring you with his warm hands gliding up and down your sides in a comforting manner.

“We’ll start off slow, okay?”

“Okay- wait.”

“Hm?”

You reach back into your pocket and pull out a small tube of watermelon flavoured chapstick. Sure this was just practice but the next worse thing after being a bad kisser was having chapped lips. Jake watches, amused until you tuck the tube away. “Good to go?” You exhale.

“Yeah.” Jake advises you to take a few deep breaths before starting. He gives you as much time as you need, even breathing with you because, frankly, he’s kinda nervous too. Not so much about kissing but more, wanting to make sure to give you the experience that you wanted. Yes it was ‘just practice’ but this was also literally your first kiss so, Jake had to take this seriously.

“First, try leaning into me.” Slowly you do, now close enough to where your foreheads are touching. As pretty as Jake’s hair was, it was a little itchy- but not uncomfortable, maybe ticklish? Focus!

Jake chuckles a little deeper than usual. “I can practically hear you overthinking, relax.”

“I’m trying.”

“We’ll try harder.”

Worry evaporates as you get used to being so close, reminding yourself that it was just Jake, just Jake who was inches away from your lips, just the same, good old bestie Jake.

You rub your lips together in anticipation, eager to progress onto the next step. Jake initiates the kiss, tilting his bed to leave a soft peck on your lips. It was barely there, barely even lasted a second but you still felt it and boy did it leave you buzzing. Like a bee to a flower, eager for more pollen.

“You try.” He whispers, licking his lips. Greeted with the sweet yet artificial taste of your chapstick. Jake is patient, not commenting on the long pause until you finally close the gap between you two. Yours was definitely longer than Jake’s, maybe lasting .5 more seconds.

“Sorry…” Jake smiles wide with a slight shake of his head.

“No, no, you’re good… how.. how did that feel?”

“Nice..” you mutter, shy. You’re rarely ever shy in front of Jake — this guy had practically seen all sides of you but now? You guess he was bringing out a new side of you even you didn’t know existed.

“Good, that’s good.” He mumbles. Time seems to tick away impossibly slowly. The room is silent except for your breaths, Netflix questioning whether or not anybody was still watching when the only thing you were watching was Jake and vice versa.

“Now try doing what you just did but longer.” You oblige, pressing your lips to his again. Plump and pillowy would be the right way to describe Jake’s lips, plump, pillowy and red, most likely from how often he bites them.

This time you only pull away once you need a breath but two fingers grabbing your chin gently pull you in again and you can’t find it in you to stop him. It’s now that you realise kissing isn’t as complicated as you had thought, following Jake’s lead of some sort of pattern.

One long kiss, pull away, a few shorter kisses, pull away and… that’s it, you’re kissing him.

Somewhere along the way you grew even more comfortable, arms now wrapped around his neck whilst one of Jake’s encircle your waist, his other up as his hand cups your cheek. How long you’ve been like this you don’t know but you’re certainly not complaining.

There were tons of other kisses out there but you were perfectly content with these ones for now. Safe and comforting — not at all intimidating like you had previously thought.

After a particularly long pause in activity, Jake rests his forehead against yours again. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

He opens his eyes to give you the same look he did earlier. You smile until your nose scrunches and giggles escape.

“For real this time… now kiss me.”

[caffeineforbucky]

Cruel Summer

Summary: After a two-year absence from your family, you return home for your father's birthday and unexpectedly reconnect with his friend, John Price. A serendipitous attraction emerges, leading to a challenging summer.

Pair: 'Captain' DBF!John Price x AFAB!Reader

WC: 2,008

Warnings: Minors DNI 18+, Age gap. Reader is 26 and John is 37, swearing, longing, some fluff...? Lemme know if I missed any

A/N: I fear it's been a minute since I wrote anything for this blog. This fic might be a few parts. It's been sitting in my drafts for freaking months and I was too excited to get the first part out.

BY CLICKING KEEP READING, YOU ARE CONFIRMING THAT YOU'RE 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

"Come on, honey," Your mother's voice resonates in the emptiness of your small kitchen, and the sting in your eyes makes it hard to focus, vision blurring with a haze of murkiness.

With the heel of your palm, you brush away the lamentation on your lashes, heedless in your movements, as you shove a couple of hoodies, books, and other insignificant items into a box—a box of your ex's things. The things he left behind.

"Your dad hasn't seen you in two years. His birthday is coming up in a couple of days, and the only thing he talks about missing his little girl."

That manages to make you smile, if only for a moment. A fleeting glimpse of happiness amidst your heartbreak. "Ryder's there. Dad can have his little boy there instead."

Ryder—your older brother. He was only five years older than you, but while growing up together, you two were inseparable. There was the occasional bickering and fighting, but like all siblings, you grew apart.

He had his life, and you had yours.

"I can hear your dumbass, you know that, don't you?" He tuts through the speaker of your cell phone, and it causes you to snort. He was already with the rest of your family since flying in the night before. Ryder's remark is met with hushes from your mom before she playfully shoves him to continue the phone call with you. Just like old times.

"I don't know, ma..." You mumble, trying your bestest to make it sound like you aren't crying. You knew she worried about you. More than you would've liked, but she was your mother. My job is to worry. She would say. "I've got a lot going on over here and—"

She cuts you off before you can finish.

"Please? I will have to tell your dad when he asks, and he'll start crying and... just come. Even if it's for a day or two. He really wants to see you, and so do I. I miss my baby."

A heavy sigh escapes you, letting your face fall into your palms to wipe the rest of your tears with the tips of your fingers. As badly as you want to refuse, the guilt of not seeing your family in so long starts to creep in, trying to gnaw its way into your conscience.

"Okay, Mom," You finally relent after a couple minutes of silence. You knew how much your parents missed you, and you'd let the lust for independence take you away from the people you loved most, and that was something to feel guilty about. "I'll come."

Your mother's excited squeal makes you flinch, and for some reason, her felicity causes a few more tears to slip down your cheeks, even if you manage a soft chuckle. "Oh, I'm so excited. Your dad is going to flip. I gotta make up your room and—Ryder! I'll talk to you soon, baby. We can't wait to see you."

There were a plethora of responsibilities John had to fulfill when he agreed to attend his best friend’s birthday. He had a job; a task force to forefront. A war to conquer. Nevertheless, he was here, in the backyard of said friends' beach house.

He was used to noise. The bustling crowds of civilians, obnoxious music, and the occasional yelps of children chasing each other around. It all resonated as white noise; his ears filtering out what wasn’t of import.

The smell of grilled hamburger patties permeated the air, his eyes focused on the finesse of each flip.

The tap of his fingers drummed rhythmically against the neck of his beer bottle, smiling and nodding as your father went on and on about his endeavors during his time in the Army.

A broken record; really. The stories weren’t new, at least, not to him—having been a part of those tales himself. The hardships and challenges of having to partake in such horrific adventures. If you can even call them that. Your father had such a colorful vernacular.

John’s eyes looked up in a lazy sweep as he heard the sound of your mother’s voice emitting as the back door slid open. As he took another swig of his beer, there you were.

The man almost choked. The beer comes back up in a fit of coughs, earning a few swats on the back from your father.

“You okay, John?” Your father eyed him humorously, chuckling as he flipped a couple more burgers.

John couldn’t speak, solely nodding as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, mindful of drying off his facial hair.

Fucking hell…

Clad in a cream-colored sundress, every dip and curve of your body was accentuated, the swell of your assets making his mouth water. You were an absolute dream. A fantasy he couldn’t imagine ever thinking of. You were stunning.

He let his eyes trace the outline of your body, from the cherry pattern on your dress to the pretty little red ballet flats you had on.

John had prided himself in being devout to his career. Nothing came between him or it. In his thirty-seven years of being alive, he never once tried to settle down or even dabble in a relationship for fear of never giving enough or never being present. He’d have the occasional fuck, but that was once in a while.

His life wasn’t promised; not in the way he had any control over. Then again, who does?

For the first time since joining the Army, he thought of marriage, and he immediately shook that thought away.

He nudged your father, making him turn toward the profile of his face. With his hand still wrapped around the neck of the bottle, he gestured towards you. “Is that—“

“Ah, there she is!” Your father rejoiced, setting down the spatula as you headed towards where they both stood, your mother trailing behind. John stood idle as he watched you move into your dad’s arms with a semi-forced smile.

“Hey, Dad.” You greet him, letting him rock you back and forth in a tight embrace. “Happy birthday.” Regardless if you’d arrived the day before, your dad was still excited that you were here.

"Thank you, pumpkin."

John watched the interaction from the corner of his eye, a strange feeling tugging at his gut. You were no longer that little girl he remembered—you were a woman now. He took another swig of his beer, curiosity and desire brewing within him.

Once your father had released you from his bear hug, your eyes met with John's. A surprised expression graced your face, recognition flashing across your eyes as if you had completely forgotten that he could also be there. "John?" You questioned, your voice softer than he remembered. 'That you?" There was a hint of a tremble, but it was quickly masked by a polite smile.

"Hey there, sweetheart." He greeted, his voice firm yet gentle. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over you once more, drinking in the sight of you. It was almost as if he was seeing you for the first time. "Aye. It's me."

You chuckled softly, shaking your head in disbelief. "I can't believe it's been fifteen years. You haven't changed much, you know."

John couldn't help but chuckle at your comment, feeling a sense of warmth spreading through him. Fifteen years…

You had to be around twenty-six now.

"I would say the same about you, but—" he replied, letting his gaze linger on yours for a moment longer than necessary. "You've grown up beautifully."

The compliment seemed to take you by surprise, your cheeks flushing a soft tinge. You quickly turned your gaze away from him, focusing on your father who was grilling the patties. "Thanks, John." You muttered, the unease in your voice not going unnoticed by him. Neither did that color on your cheeks.

You could recall the little girl crush you used to have on him all those years ago, when it was adolescent, innocent, and pure. Something to laugh off because it was cute.

But now, standing here as an adult, the feelings that stirred within you when John's gaze lingered on you were anything but innocent. It was a confusing, frightening, yet somehow thrilling realization—one that you knew you would have to confront sooner or later.

Your mother, who had been watching the entire exchange with the sharp eyes of a hawk, nudged you gently, whispering something about helping her out in the kitchen. You took the opportunity to escape, excusing yourself from the men's company. As you turned to leave, you felt John's eyes on you, following your retreating figure. A shiver ran down your spine, but you forced yourself to ignore it.

After you'd left, an awkward silence fell between the two men. John took another swig of his beer, trying to shake off the strange feelings that your presence had stirred up within him. The tension was palpable, a thick fog of unspoken words and hidden desires. It wasn't like him to be so affected, and yet, there was something about you that left him in a state of bewilderment.

His gaze lingered on the spot where you had stood moments ago, the image of your flushed cheeks and the softness of your voice etched into his mind. He raked a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips. This was dangerous territory. He knew it but seemed powerless to pull himself away from the allure.

Your father, completely oblivious to his friend's internal struggle, continued flipping burgers, a contented smile on his face. He hummed a tune under his breath, his eyes bright with happiness. Every now and then, he would glance towards the kitchen door, awaiting your return.

"John," He started, his voice pulling John out of his reverie. "You've gone quiet on me, mate." Your father’s jovial tone contrasted starkly with the turmoil raging within John.

John managed a weak smile, forcing out a chuckle. "Just lost in thought, I guess," he replied, not meeting your father's gaze. He took another sip of his beer, the cold liquid doing little to ease the heat creeping up his neck.

Your father simply laughed, shaking his head. "You've always been a bit of a daydreamer, haven't you?" He said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Just don't go getting lost in your thoughts. We've got a party to enjoy."

John nodded, forcing himself to focus on the present, on the sizzle of the burgers, the sound of laughter from the crowd...anything but his best friend's daughter. But no matter how hard he tried, his thoughts were preoccupied with you.

As the sun began to set, the party continued in full swing. The laughter and chatter grew louder, the music more upbeat, and the atmosphere more festive. But amidst the sea of faces, John's gaze kept drifting back to you.

Your laughter echoed in his ears, your smile imprinted in his memory. Every now and then, he would catch glimpses of you, your silhouette illuminated by the setting sun, your face glowing with genuine happiness. You were like a beacon of light, drawing him in, and he found himself unable to resist.

You were everywhere he looked, in every corner he turned. With each passing moment, the pull he felt towards you grew stronger, more potent. It was like a magnetic force that seemed impossible to resist. It scared him, baffled him, yet excited him in a way he had never experienced before.

He watched as you interacted with the guests, your laughter filling the air. Your eyes sparkled with mirth, your cheeks flushed with excitement. You were the life of the party, and he couldn't help but be captivated by you.

And as he watched you in the warm candlelight of your father's birthday cake, your smile wide as you sang along with your family, he knew he was in trouble. Because for the first time in a long time, he found himself wanting something he knew he couldn't have.

You.

Oh god. It's so embarrassing how long this took to actually write. Please please lemme know what ya'll think. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Should I continue this? ;) Enjoyxx

[remlionheart]

* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦ ˚ *

Marinade

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ when i first decided that i wanted to write some yuuji angst, i had a v vague idea in my head of what it might look like, but when i tell you that this fic took me for a ride, i mean it. angel boy yuuji itadori finds himself mourning his 22nd birthday rather than celebrating it. sitting alone at a bar, overwhelmed by grief when he's suddenly greeted by the one part of his past that doesn't hurt to look at. 4.9k words. hurt/comfort, angst, smut, fluff, slice of life, shonen, literally everything and anything going on here. i was crying and smiling and rooting for these characters and i'm not sure that i'll ever emotionally recover from writing this, but i'm really happy w the outcome so lemme know whatcha think, luv you ♡ (also shoutout to my girl @bratbby333 for always being my biggest hype-woman and proofreading for me when i've looked at a fic for too long and start to hate it) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

now playing: marinade by dope lemon

Yuuji hadn't seen you since middle school.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

He remembered you as the girl who had pretty handwriting and a serious affinity for the color blue. The girl who would leave pastel origami hearts on his desk without ever saying why. The girl who'd hide away in the library during lunch instead of eating with the rest of the class. The girl who he'd watch on the bus ride home with a sinking feeling in his stomach, catching the way your eyes glossed over each time the driver stopped in front of your house.

He learned how much you loved to read and write that year. Glancing at you from across the study hall room, secretly jotting down what number was printed along the spine of your book so that he could get you the next one in the series. He'd leave it on your desk before class started, the same way you did with his origami hearts. Never saying a word about it.

He watched you fill countless journals, your face always so concentrated as you poured your thoughts into them. He’d stop by the shopping plaza near his house after school every time he noticed that you’d reached the last page, spending his allowance to make sure there was a new one waiting for you the next morning. Each one he gave you, a different shade of blue.

But it wasn’t until the last day of eighth grade that he finally mustered up the courage to break the not-so-silent-silence the two of you had been sharing for the last 6 months. He sat down next to you, introducing himself even though it went without saying. His eyebrows furrowed a bit when you wordlessly slipped out an earbud and handed it to him. A rare, but visible smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. He held it in his palm for a moment, his eyes drifting along your face as he brought it to his ear, letting the tangled white cord tether the two of you together.

He’d never heard the song before, but he still remembered thinking how fitting it was. Dreamy and melodic - just like you. The singer's voice was full of raw sincerity, adding another layer of atmospheric haze to the already heady beat while the chorus gradually filled the space between you.

He didn't have the right words to explain it at the time, but he felt lucky as he watched you stare out the window that day. Lucky to know how pretty you looked when the sunlight caught the side of your face. Lucky to know which fantasy novels you liked to spend hours losing yourself in. Lucky to know what type of music you listened to when you were deep in thought. Lucky, just to be sitting next to you.

His heart jumped around in his chest when your eyes met his again. Both of you exchanging the same somber smile as you realized what road you were on.

He handed his half of the headphones back to you, secretly relieved at how calm you still seemed despite the fact that your stop was next.

“That song,” he hesitated, the lyrics still swirling through his mind. “what was it –”

But his question came to an abrupt end as the bus began to brake, a new and overwhelming warmth dancing through his veins when he noticed how close you suddenly were to him.

His pupils doubled in size, his breath catching in his throat while you leaned in carefully, pressing the softest kiss against his boyish cheek.

"Have a good summer, Yuuji." you whispered, grabbing your backpack off the floor.

His hand rested where your lips had been, his gaze following you off of the bus. You made it about halfway up your driveway before pausing to look back at him over your shoulder, two lingering smiles blurring past one another as the driver hurried on with her route.

The next two months were filled with sunshine and soccer practice for him. Bike rides and camping trips and basketball courts. His days were usually full, but no matter what he was doing or where he was going, there was one song that was always on the tip of his tongue:

♫⋆｡ ♪ ₊ ﾟ“Do you want me? Just how I am? Do you need me and where I stand?”

One song that would forever remind him of you:

"Let's go steady, let's make a plan. Marinade on that for a little while." ⋆｡ ♪ ₊♬ ﾟ。

And he did.

He marinaded on the infatuation he felt for you the rest of that entire summer.

When August arrived that year and brought everyone back for high school, he was ready.

There were stories he wanted to tell you, questions he wanted to ask you. Playlists he wanted to make with you. Books he'd found while thrifting that he wanted to give to you. Daydreams he had of roaming the halls and laughing with you. Visions of bringing his lunch into the library so he could eat with you. He couldn't wait to hear about your summer. Couldn't wait to catch up with you. Couldn't wait to see you.

Unfortunately for you both though, life had other, much darker plans in store for the pink-haired boy who just wanted to carry around your books for you and hold your hand during passing period.

He was called out of class early on the first day. Forced to leave the building before he even had the chance to see you as he frantically tracked down the nearest shuttle and rushed across town to get to the hospital. His grandpa’s health had been on a slow decline, but after his most recent fall, it had suddenly started to plummet.

Yuuji missed the majority of that week, dedicating all of his time to the man who had essentially raised him. He would bring him food and sit with him for hours even though he was mostly incoherent. He’d tell him about his day and leave flowers by his bedside. He'd watch reruns of old game shows with him that they used to watch when Yuuji was little, completely ignoring the nurses who would say things like, "You need to give yourself a break.”

The hospital staff tried their best to get him to take a day off. To go back to school and live his own life, but Yuuji just couldn’t. His grandpa was the only family he'd ever really had. There was no way he was going to leave him. He ditched the comfort of his bedroom and began sleeping on the cramped hospital futon next to the grey-haired man, teaching himself what each machine hooked up to him was responsible for and what vitals they monitored. He’d sometimes leave throughout the day, but it was only for a couple of hours at most. He'd return with more flowers and books to read to him. By the third week of school, he'd missed almost every single one of his classes, but he didn’t care. His priorities were firm.

Yuuji stayed by his side - day in and day out, until the very end.

When he woke up to the sound of erratic beeping and codes that he didn't understand being called out by nurses, he knew. He knew in his heart that this was it. Amongst the chaos were two sets of shaking hands reaching for each other, his grandpa's last words hanging heavily in the space between them,

“Yuuji... You're a strong kid, try your best to help others, okay?”

He remembered thinking at that moment that there couldn’t be a worse feeling. That he couldn’t possibly have anything else left to lose. He was only 15 and he was now officially all on his own as he watched the only parental figure he had let out his last breath of air.

He had no family, no future, no chance.

Fate was a cruel and calculating thing though. A few days after the funeral, Yuuji discovered that he did have a future. One that was irreversibly sealed the minute he stepped foot into Jujutsu High. He had to let go of everything he'd known in exchange for the damning task of becoming a vessel for Ryomen Sukuna. He had to trade in his mundane role of being a high school freshman for the daunting responsibility of becoming a first-year sorcerer. And arguably the hardest thing of all, he had to give up the simple pleasure of sharing a set of tangled headphones with you to try and save a world that didn't truly care about him.

There was no room for normalcy anymore. This was his new life and it was ending, one day at a time.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

He sat at a nearly vacant bar by himself, staring down the empty glass in front of him, watching the ice melt as he ran a shaky hand along the back of his neck.

It was 4 o'clock and he was only one of two people here this early. The lights and music were still being adjusted by the workers. Cups being stocked and coolers being filled for the inevitable Saturday-night rush that would come in the next few hours. His goal was to be absolutely obliterated by then - to already be on his way back home before the swarm of college students took over.

He paused, noticing the calendar hanging by the craft beer list in front of him. His heart stuttered a bit as he blinked back at the date. No wonder he'd been feeling so reminiscent lately.

He leaned over the counter hoping to find the bartender who'd poured his first drink, but to no avail.

He grabbed his glass, sucking down the very last drop of whiskey it had to offer, trying desperately to drown out the realization that today was his 22nd birthday and the people who should be here with him weren't.

Almost every friend he'd made over the last ten years had been ripped away from him. They were scattered memories. Familiar voices that he did his best to hold onto. Faces, names, deaths that followed him everywhere he went.

Middle school and the innocence of just wanting to hold a pretty girl's hand while she walked down the hallway were long gone. He was an adult now. A very tired and traumatized adult.

He peered around the corner again, half-tempted to jump over the bar and pour himself another drink when the stereo kicked on, an overwhelming wave of pure, deep blue nostalgia flooding over him without warning.

His back straightened, his eyes suddenly darting towards the speaker as the lyrics drifted across his skin, causing every hair on his body to stand up at once.

"She wanted to die by a river. She wanted the tide to come up and drag her away, so that when she's dreamin', she can watch the tree line fall away." ⋆｡ ♪

It was the same hazy melody that he'd spent an entire summer listening to on repeat. He still knew every word, every beat. It was muscle memory the way his fingertips began to drum along the counter when a bartender finally emerged from the back.

"Sorry, do you need a –"

Time stilled, the glass nearly slipping from his hand as your gaze caught his.

"Yuuji?"

Despite how much you'd changed since the last time he saw you, your voice was somehow just as soft as he remembered it being.

He stared back at you in quiet disbelief, guilt quickly settling in the pit of his stomach as he thought about how fucking strange and unexpected this all must feel for you too.

From your perspective, he'd spent all of 8th grade trying to befriend you only to up and leave without even saying goodbye. And now, 7 years later - he was at your work, looking back at you like you were an actual angel, and forgetting every word he knew.

Your eyes stayed locked on his for another moment, both of you studying the person in front of you before you finally let out a shaky breath and smiled at him.

"Here," You offered, suddenly feeling the need to soothe your own nerves too. "On the house."

He tried to tell you that he could pay for it, but it was too late. You were already pouring two shots and motioning for him to put his wallet away.

"Okay, fine. But..." There was a glimmer in his eye as he pulled his glass away from yours. "What are we toasting to?"

The smile he gave you felt like a warm hug. One that you didn't realize you needed until you had it again. "Oh," You stammered, trying to ignore the blood that was rushing to your cheeks. "What about... To old friends?"

He nodded, still wearing the same expression as your drinks lightly knocked together. "To old friends."

He couldn't help but grin again at the little shiver that swept across your body as you finished yours.

Your hair was longer, your features a bit more mature, but your mannerisms were all the same. You were still the girl that was made up of mid-day sunlight, handbound books, and shades of blue that were too pretty to exist in this world.

You grabbed a beer out of the cooler and slid it to him, once again ignoring the credit card he tried to hand you. "Yuuji, relax." you leaned against the counter, resting your head in your hands so that you were eye-level with him. "They're not gonna go bankrupt over a $2 IPA, I promise."

"If you say so."  

You both exchanged the same small smile, his finger lightly running along the counter. "So," he cleared his throat, completely unsure of where to start. "How've you been?"

It was a loaded question, maybe even a dumb question considering how much time had passed, but he didn't care. He really did want to know how you'd been. What you'd been up to. What type of things you'd been writing about. What your Spotifty playlists looked like. What you did on your days off. He wanted to know everything. All of it.

"Well," you exhaled, trying to find an easy way to condense the last seven years of your life. "My parents..." your eyebrows furrowed, realizing that you'd never gotten the chance to tell him why you used to dread your old bus route so much. "My parents finally got divorced..."

“Oh shit, I’m sorry -"

“No,” You said swiftly, not wanting him to feel bad for asking. "It was more of a relief than anything. They used to fight, a lot. My mom wasn't always the nicest when she drank... It probably should've happened way sooner to be honest."

His breathing slowed as memories of you with tears in your eyes walking up your driveway smashed through his mind. He'd promised himself that he would ask you about it one day, but he had no idea it'd be this much later on. He'd wanted to talk to you about it as kids. Wanted to know what scared you so much about going home, but he didn't know how. It was the reason why he left journals on your desk. The reason why he never let you go without the next book in your series.

For everything he couldn't say, he tried to show. But he'd failed you on both accounts the day he disappeared.

"My parents separated my -" you paused, eyes dragging to his as you corrected yourself. "our graduation year."

He nodded, doing his best to digest the thought of you walking down the aisle in a cap and gown with the weight of your parents' downfall on your shoulders.

"But, after that," you smiled slightly. “I applied to college and got accepted. Started working here. Got my own apartment. And I don't know...” you shrugged, "I think in a weird way, things happened the way they were supposed to. It was like everything needed to fall apart before it got better, you know?"

He smiled back at you, your last sentence lingering in the space between you as he reached for your hand. He probably wouldn't have understood that sentiment a year ago, but watching your eyes widen while your fingers slowly tangled into his, he knew exactly what you meant now.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't there..." His thumb brushed against the side of your hand, steadying himself as he let 15-year-old him and 22-year-old him come together to say what they had both been holding onto for so long. "I didn't want to leave. I just -"

Your heart swelled in your chest, watching him blink back tears he wasn't prepared to shed. "Life got really hard for a really long time for me too. But, whenever I felt myself drifting... I thought of you. Thought of the way you'd glance at me from over your book during class. Thought of the way you smiled when you thought no one was watching. I thought of you... all the time. And it was like, no matter how dark things got, it reminded me that life could be good, because it was at one point. So..."

Your hand tightened around his, two sets of glossy eyes now staring back at each other as he forced himself to say what he should've years ago. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there, but... I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere."

You were dizzy with emotion. Swimming through feelings that you'd kept buried for nearly the last decade. The thoughts you'd only been brave enough to write down. The overwhelming urge to kiss him again and again and again until neither one of you had any air left in your lungs.

Your mouth opened and then closed, your body saying more than you were capable of with how desperately you were holding onto him.

You weren't sure what you were doing. Didn't have time to think or care about the repercussions of your impulsiveness.

"Hey Mai," You called out, "I'm really not feeling well. Think I'm gonna go home."

Yuuji's head was shaking no, but the surprised smile tugging at the corner of his mouth was saying otherwise. "What're you doing?" he whisper-shouted, watching you run around the bar to grab his hand again.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mai yelled from the back, but it was too late.

You and Yuuji were already gone, practically sprinting alongside each other, laughing as you booked it across the parking lot.

"First the free beer and now this?"

"They won't go bankrupt over me missing one day." You winked. "C'mon, I wanna show you something."

You may have been leading the way, but he was still the athlete between the two of you, purposefully slowing himself down to not be right on your heels. But when he noticed you starting to pant as the road curved into an upward slope, he reached out for you, gently spinning you around to face him.

"Come here." he knelt down, positioning himself so that you could easily wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.

He carried you piggy-back style up the hill, the sun fading into an array of pink and orange as you pointed out every bookstore around campus, explaining which ones were your favorites and why. Promising to get matcha with him tomorrow at a local coffee shop you passed. Asking him about his time at Jujutsu High and trying to wrap your mind around what little he was able to tell you as he swore that he'd fill you in on the full story when the time was right. You caught him up on what he'd missed the last three years of high school and how your college classes had been going. You talked about libraries and ghosts and laughed about how in 7th grade he'd joined the occult club just because he thought it'd be an easy after-school credit.

By the time you'd finally reached the spot you'd wanted to show him, the moon had almost completely replaced the sun. Your cheeks hurt from smiling and your hands were full of a mixture of different flowers that he'd picked for you along the way.

"This is..." he trailed off, watching the sky shift into a deep blend of blue and silver. "Beautiful. How'd you even find this place?"

It was an abandoned park surrounded by overgrown trees that overlooked the city, only one rusted swing set left to its name. The hike you had to endure just to find it had more than likely been the cause of its demise, trekking up here with a backpack was hard enough, let alone a stroller.

"I kinda found it by accident." You shrugged. "I was working on an art project and needed a good view of the skyline. I looked up a bunch of different places online, but then I saw this spot and just knew."

Yuuji pulled off his hoodie, sweat trickling down his neck from the late-summer heat as the two of you sat in the grass, his arm gently wrapping around your waist.

There had been so many times you'd sat in this exact same spot by yourself, wondering what the odds were that you were both somehow looking up at the same star.

Your head rested on his shoulder, a warm gust of air swirling around you as you both looked out into the distance, watching the way the stars faded into the Tokyo lights.

"Hey, Yuuji?" You twirled a blade of grass between your fingers, not wanting to ruin the moment, but still needing to be sure.

"Yeah?"

"You promise, right?"

"Hm?" He could hear the concern in your voice, his grip tightening as he pulled you closer.

"You promise that... you're not leaving again?"

"I swear, I'm not going anywhere. And if I do," His eyes returned to yours, his free hand attentively resting under your chin. "I'm taking you with me."

You nodded, warmth washing over you as he traced along your jawline, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

Your fears were lost to his touch. Your worries dissolving into the sincerity of his voice. Your need for reassurance wholeheartedly met when his hand cupped your cheek and his lips finally caught yours. Seven years' worth of pent-up feelings pouring out between the two of you, hands roaming and little moans slipping out between breaths while you tugged on the collar of his shirt to bring him closer. He was gentle but eager. Soft but secure. Perfect, in every way.

He hovered over you, easing you onto the grass as he made a makeshift pillow out of his hoodie for you to rest your head on.

You smiled as his lips drifted from your mouth to your neck, his palm delicately traveling up your shirt, pulling your bra to the side while he helped slide your tank-top up over your head. He kissed your collarbones, whispering sweet little praises into your skin. "You're gorgeous, you know that?"

He rested a hand under your back, steadying you as his tongue flickered across your chest. He took his time, making sure to give each nipple the same amount of attention, still humming things like, "the prettiest girl I've ever seen" while his hand traced over your hip.

He tugged at the waistline of your shorts, looking up at you through his lashes as he began to leave featherlight kisses along the inside of your thigh, his blood racing at the sounds you were suddenly making.

"Does that feel good, baby?"

You whimpered out a broken "yes", practically dripping when his fingers spread you apart. He watched you writhe beneath him, drawing slow but firm circles around you. Trying not to lose himself to the way your legs were already shaking for him.

"Yuuji," you whined. "I -" his mouth was ghosting your center, his fingers still playing with your clit while he held you in place. "I n - need you." your voice was heady, lost somewhere in the clouds the faster he went. "I wanna f - feel you, so bad."

"Yeah?" He smiled, his breath still fanning across your core as his digits prodded carefully at your entrance. He groaned at how beautifully your walls swallowed him. "I wanna feel you too."

Your head lulled back, eyes pointed at the sky while your hand tangled into his pink hair. His mouth was warm and heavenly, his tongue running uppp and dowwnnn your center, saliva mixing with slick while his fingers plunged into you.

"Oh, fuck."

He only went deeper the louder you got, flattening his tongue against you with just the right pressure to keep you saying his name. His ring and middle finger hitting spots you'd never been able to reach yourself. You were clenching around him, your thighs locking around his head as you rocked against his tongue.

"Yuuji - you're gonna make me -" he thought it was adorable the way you struggled to get more than two words out at a time. "Fuck, I -"

"Mhmm, just like that."

He was in the same daze you were, sliding in and out of you feverishly until he finally felt the blissful release of your walls spasming around him. Your body suddenly unable to hold it in any longer as you gave him the privilege of really tasing you.

"Oh my god," he moaned, faithfully lapping up every bit of you he could get, only pulling away when you started begging for him.

"Yuuji -" It was needy and light-headed. "Come here, come here. Please."

The way he lifted his head up, smiling at you with your cum dripping down his chin made something inside you ache.

You pulled him towards you, desperately wrapping your legs around his waist as he began undoing the buttons on his pants. He kissed you, again and again and again, using it as a pleasant distraction while he wriggled himself free.

He took a breath, both of you watching in blitzed out awe as he lined himself up with you. "I love you." he whispered, your eyes widening from the blend of his words and the feeling of his tip slowly entering you. "Always have."

His hair brushed against your forehead as he parted your lips with his tongue, your nails digging into his neck with his first full thrust. You were so tight and warm around him.

He tried to ease into you, encouraging you while also making sure you were comfortable. His voice sweet as honey as he asked you things like, "Is that okay, baby?" and "Aw, you like when I go deep like that, huh?"

Your gaze locked with his, your eyebrows knitting together the faster his rhythm became.

You'd thought about this moment before. Thought about what it might feel like, but nothing could've prepared you for the way your heart would race at the sound of him moaning, "You're doing so good for me." The way he'd hold you, looking back at you with stars in his eyes as he filled every inch of you.

"Yuuji -"

"Let it out, baby. S'okay." He whispered, his hand reaching for yours. "I've got you."

Your vision was blurred by the feeling of his tip meeting your cervix, warm summer air brushing against your skin as you reached your breaking point.

"I love you." The words left your mouth so fast you barely had time to register them, but then... they wouldn't stop. It was the only phrase you remembered how to say. The only emotion you remembered how to feel. "I love you." you whimpered again, feeling yourself tighten around him as your confession became more frantic. "Oh - mygod, Yuuji. I love you. I love you. I love - you."

His movements were suddenly beyond his control, his body completely succumbing to the grip of yours. "Fuck, baby - I -" He didn't know if he should pull out. Didn't know if he could pull out. His head was everywhere, his mouth dropping open the longer he watched you.

Your legs locked around him in heady reassurance. "Mm'mm, d - don't stop." You panted. "Cum with me."

It was a sentence he'd only ever thought he'd be lucky enough to hear you say in his dreams.

His hips stilled after one more thrust, your walls holding him tight as he began to twitch inside you. His forehead pressed against yours, his arms struggling to keep him propped up.

You exchanged the same exhausted smirk, leaning up to kiss him while he carefully pulled out of you. A blend of fluids spilling out onto the grass beneath you as he laid by your side with his forearm over his face, trying to regain his composure.

There was a calm silence that settled between you, the both of you looking up at the stars before you rolled over to reach for your shorts, letting him catch his breath while you dug something out of the back pocket.

"Here." You said, unraveling a tangled pair of headphones and handing him one.

His eyes widened with the same curiosity they had 7 years ago as he held it to his ear, your head resting on his chest while a song he knew all too well flowed through the small speakers connecting you. A smile splitting across his face as he held you closer.

"You know, I think you were right." he exhaled, running light fingertips along your arm. "Everything did have to fall apart before it got better."

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[seaslugfanclub]

Hi! I really love your Disney Villains x reader content! Especially the "Scaredy Villain", "Time in the Spotlight", and the "No, I'm their favorite" one. Speaking of that, I remember Hades mentioned that he was one of the first to meet Y/N, which got me wondering, what were Y/N's first interactions with each of the villains like? 🤔

Once again, I love all of your works! And I can't wait to see you do more in the future at your own pace and time! 😊 💕

So I’ve actually gotten a couple asks about this, so decided to answer all of them with this! Since all the Villains meeting (Y/N) would take way too long to write in one post, I’ve decided to make this a series of one shots, so stay tuned!

I, of course have to start with Hades. (Since his introduction is my most fleshed out) but I’m slowly but surely getting all the Villains interactions in order! Hope you enjoy 💙

Meeting the Villains: Prt. 1

Hades

TW: panic attack

—————————————

It was (Y/N)s first day working at the Disney Parks, and they were on the verge of the panic attack of the century

The crying babies, excited children, sickly smell of sweat mixed with the food stands, multicolored rides, and the unrelenting heat all melted together to create the perfect sensory overload

They felt like they’re about to throw up. Or pass out. Or throw up and then pass out. Screw employee training, they needed to get out of here.

Near hyperventilation, (Y/N) quickly stumbled to the quietest location they could find, leading them to a skinny alleyway between two buildings. Immediately they got on the ground, putting their head between their legs and taking deep breaths

Slowly (Y/N) began to calm down, the relative silence of the alleyway a balm to their ears, and the nostalgic scent of cigar smoke really helped ground them— wait….

Lifting their head up to make a spare glance to their left made (Y/N) scramble onto their feet. There — hidden in the shadows of the alleyway was the lord of the dead himself, his most lugubriousness, Hades, smoking a lengthy cigar and staring down at (Y/N) with a sardonic grin.

(Y/N)’s heard about these “holograms” Disney released into their parks, hell, it’s all they’ve heard about since they’ve been hired. And sure, (Y/N)’s seen a couple characters from afar as their employment trainer toured them around the park. But to see an actual one up close? This was a first.

Hades looked so… real. The blue flames atop his head flickered into the air, fanned by the light breeze of the afternoon. His skin was chipped and pitted, a similar texture to granite. Even his chiton looked like something spun from the finest silks, his whole body too detailed to be a simple projection of light.

…..

“So are you just gonna stare at me like an idiot, or…?” Hades took a drag of his cigar, blowing the smoke in (Y/N)’s face, causing them to hack in response.

“ *cough*—Sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just—“

“Ya first time seeing one of us?” Hades interrupted, “yeah, I figured. And lemme guess, it’s your first day at the circus, huh? Don’t think you’ll last long if you abandon your post because your a little nervous~”

(Y/N) grimaced at Hades jab, retreating into this alleyway was supposed to be a brief respite. Their brain was too fried to think about the consequences of talking back to one of Disneys prized characters, the only thing (Y/N) felt looking up at Hades was indignation

“Oh please, I’m not the only one here who’s supposed to be somewhere else. And smoking??? At THE Disney parks??? It’s my first day, I’ll get off easy, but you? If we’re caught, I’m only gonna get chewed out once.”

A multitude of expressions passed over Hades face. Surprise, anger, disgust, amusement, before finally settling into one of forced resignation. It was a hard pill to swallow knowing he wasn’t the one in charge here. The fucking mouse was.

“Ohoho, I bet. I’m sure any consequence of yours will be dropped if you go off and tattle on me~” Hades seethed, finishing the cigar off in one drag as his flames sparked red.

(Y/N) huffed, going to lean against the wall again, “Are you kidding me? I’m not a narc.” They waved off the imaginary scenario, “I’m here the same reason you are, so why not make a deal. You like those don’t you? If you won’t say anything, I won’t either. Let’s just enjoy what little privacy we can in peace.”

Hades stood in silence for a bit, he didn’t want to sound stereotypical, but this newbie wasn’t like the other park employees he’s had to deal with.

Usually the park members would act one of three ways; either they’d cower in fear, submissive towards his biting remarks (his favorite), they’d fail to see his sentience and pass him off as a lifeless hologram (his least favorite), or act all high and mighty always admonishing anything he enjoys.

But to have someone talk back to him, but not follow the parks rules to a T? Well, Hades had to see where this went.

“Y’know what, kid? It’s a deal.”

————————————————————————

I can’t wait to share with you all what I have planned, I’m so excited!!! I also want to thank you all for your continued support of my work, I seriously didn’t expect so many people to like my silly writing, but here you are!!!

I see all of your asks and I promise I’m working on them! Just expect turnout rate to slow down with my college’s spring semester rolling around❤️

[crunchietoast]

ᶜᵒᵒᵏⁱᵉˢ & ᶜᵒʷᵇᵒʸˢ| ʲ.ᵐ

Pairings: pre-outbreak Joel Miller x fem!reader

Word Count: 2883 (✨Including Bonus Scene✨)

Summary: You loved days like this. Days sitting on his couch in the dark living room of your neighbour’s house. Yes, that's right, you were spending your Saturday afternoons on your neighbour’s couch on a rainy day. But the term neighbour might be a little insensitive after all he was more than any other neighbour you have ever had.

Warnings: implied NSFW, cheesy cowboy books, Tommy being a little shit, eating; cookies and popcorn, mentions of shirtless Joel, swearing, FlirtyJoel™️, use of Y/N unfortunately, low-key cowboy kink, most likely writing errors leave meh alone :') (lemme know if there are any more <3)

You loved days like this. Days sitting on the couch in the dark living room of your neighbour’s house. Yes, that's right, you were spending your Saturday afternoons on your neighbour’s couch on a rainy day. But the term neighbour might be a little insensitive after all he was more than any other neighbour you have ever had.

Since you moved in next door, you and Joel have become very close and spend a lot of time together. You hate to be cliché, but you have grown especially fond of him, more than neighbours should, or even more the friends should. Yep, that's right you had a huge fat crush on the boy next door. But the boy next door wasn't actually a boy, in fact he was a man, a very single man that just so happened to be a loving father, and as you have recently found out, someone very cozy to share a blanket with.

You and Joel’s friendship was interesting to say the least. You two were flirty, very flirty, but you both knew the line and tiptoed on the edge; never dare crossing it. Being close with Joel was just easy, you knew what one another needed.

For example, crying at his front door, face smothered in his shoulder after a hard day. You knew he’d be there. No questions asked but the silence was loud enough. Comforting in a way.

He has made it very clear you were welcome over any time but Sarah on the other hand, uses a tactic you like to call broad-line trickery. You really couldn't say no to her puppy dog eyes when she begged you to stay over for movie night.

“C'mon Y/N! Dad doesn't cook the popcorn like you do!” she pleaded, knowing full well you and Joel made the popcorn the exact same way.

“Well if you insist,” you playfully rolled your eyes and making eye contact with Joel, acting as if it were a chore to be around the adorable curly hair girl and her absolute DILF of a dad.

Joel scoffed and rolled his eyes back as he chucked Sarah’s bedding on the couch that she insisted on having to make a blanket fort with.

“Only if you're Dad says it okay though.” You say again with a smile on your face. Sarah exclaimed in joy.

“Okay with it? Pft! Dad would make you move in if you'd let him” Sarah made sly eyes at Joel as his eyes widened before he threw a pillow at his daughter.

“Okay, that's enough! If you want Y/N to stay you better go get more blankets and pillow, hurry up or the pizzas gonna come and you’re not gonna get any…” Joel teased as he picked up the home phone from the coffee table. Sarah ran upstairs with loud thumps you and Joel chuckled quietly.

“Move in huh?” You battered your eyes.

“You shush girl, or no pizza for you either” he narrows his eyes at you.

So yes, you loved sitting on his couch on a cold rainy day more than anything. You two didn't even need to talk really, simply sitting on the couch with your legs laid on top of his lap as you read a book, his thumb gently rubbing your ankle where your sweatpants and socks don't exactly meet as he watches whatever is on the tv on a quiet volume.

Some would think you’re a couple, which in all honestly would make sense, but nope. Neither of you says anything for fear of ruining the comfortable abode you’ve made yourself. So, sitting here will have to do for now.

“When is Sarah gonna be back?” You asked glancing up from your cheesy cowboy novel.

“Why? My company not enough?” he pretended to be offended and you giggled and shook your head as your eyes rolled, “she’s gettin’ dropped off at Tommy’s tonight, she wanted to have a slumber party with her uncle apparently. Gon’ get him to tell her all bout’ his date on Tuesday” he deadpanned. You chuckled slightly at the thought of Tommy and Sarah having a ‘slumber party’, you can imagine it now, Sarah braiding his hair as he rants and swoons about the pretty girl he just went on a date with. “He better keep it PG, don’t want Sarah coming home tellin’ me all about how Uncle Tommy just got laid” he said, which only made you laugh louder, head thrown back against the arm rest of the couch.

“Now that would be hilarious” you said as you stood up from the couch, throwing the fluffy blanket and book onto the couch next to Joel as you walked to the kitchen.

“Yeah,” you heard him scoff from the living room as you got a bag of popcorn out of the cabinet. “For you. I’ll be the one that has to give Sarah the talk unless you wanna give it a go Darlin'” He laughed loudly at the thought.

“I’ll leave it to you, thanks” you say sheepishly as you pressed the buttons on the microwave, then grabbing a cookie from the jar above the microwave, which are surprisingly still here. Joel and Tommy love the cookies that you and Sarah make, they never usually last a week.

A few seconds past with nothing but the sound of the popcorn popping, the TV on low volume and the heavy rain hitting the windows and roof outside. It was peaceful.

“His hands were rough, just like she imagined. Real hard-working hands must be from all horse riding and heavy lifting he’s been doing she thought to herself. Those same hands now moved down her body slowly,” You heard Joel say from the living room.

‘What in the world is he on abo-’

Your book. He’s reading your book.

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing not getting touched the way she shoul-” he continued.

“JOEL NO! PUT IT DOW-” you ran into the living room diving onto the couch scrambling to get the book from his grasp. His laughter boomed loudly as he held the book out of her reach.

“Is this what you've been readin’ all this time sweetheart? Paper porn?” Joel laughs loudly as you’re still trying to reach the book, climbing all over him in the hopes of getting it back.

“Joel! give it back, it’s not what it looks like!” you said smacking his chest with a bright red face.

“Oh baby, I think it’s exactly what it looks like, see the page was even dog eared,” his laugh only getting louder as you straddle his lap, pulling at his arm that’s in the air with the book.

“No fair Joel, give it back!” you whine as he laughs slow down.

“Alright Alright girl, calm down,” his hand comes up to grab at your wrist that’s trying to get the book. You glare at him crossing your arms with your hand, that Joel was holding, out waiting the return of your precious book. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, here’s ya porn-” you jab the side of his ribs “OW! - okay okay here’s your…literature” he said finally handing the book to you as you snatch it out of his grasp, holding it tightly against you, the glare remaining.

“Cowboys really do it for you?” Joel askes curiously.

“Shut up, didn’t your Momma ever teach you not to touch what isn't yours? Or did you just not listen, hm?” You said pulling his ear gently to add emphasise to your words. Joel grabbed at your wrist again.

“Oh no Darlin, don’t worry I listen real well.” he said smirking as your face burned.

“Dick.” you scoffed, slapping his shoulder with the book before getting off of Joel, trying to ignore the fact you realised you were sitting on him a few seconds ago. Joel just laughed.

“Yeah Yeah, now would you be an angel go get the popcorn for your handsome rugged cowboy?” Joel said reaching for the TV remote nonchalantly.

“Ughh, I hate you” you whine throwing a pillow at his head as you walk back to the kitchen placing the book on the counter, away from Joel, and emptied the popcorn from the microwave into a bowl.

“Where's the book?” Joel asked as you sat back down on the couch, your legs bent with your cold feet under his thigh in hopes of some warmth, bowl of buttery popcorn in hand.

“I’m going to burn it.” You say dead serious as you tug the blanket back over you, Joel shuffling under as well, munching on handful of popcorn.

“What?!” He groaned “I was really getting into it” He continued, smirking as you glared at him again.

“I’ll buy you one for your birthday.” you say still serious as you smack his arm coming to pinch at your chin affectionately.

“Na, why would you do that when we can just read it together, huh? Go on off you go, get the book” he said throwing his arm on the backrest of the couch and shooing you away with his other hand.

Bright red covers you from you neck to the tip of your ears at the thought of reading a dirty book with Joel. With him.

“Absolutely not. There is no way in hell I’m reading that book near you ever again, let alone with you!” You said throwing a piece of popcorn at him. Joel laughs.

“Don't let me ruin it for you, I’m sure you were really into it. Up to the best part of it as well” Joel replies, chuckling as you shove your face into the pillow you grabbed from behind you, groaning loudly.

“You’re such an idiot, I’m never making cookies for you again!” you threaten as your face is still shoved in the pillow.

Joel grabbed behind you knees and pulled you closer to him, so your legs laid over his lap completely, you squealed into the pillow. He put his hands on your waist where your his hoodie had rod up and started to tickle, your head shot out from the pillow and screeched bloody murder as you tried to wiggle from his gasp.

“Don’t be so mean to your cowboy, he loves eating his girls’ cookies!” he said as he continued the assault.

“Joel stop!” you squealed again between words as he just kept pulling you closer every time you managed to crawl away. “Let me go!!” you're screams began mixing with uncontrollable laughter.

“Na-uh girly, you’re not going anywhere. I will not hesitate to lasso you up!” Joel kept the cowboy joke going because he loved the reaction it got out of you. And this, for one was definitely a reaction.

You laughed harder, the joke now becoming more funny than embarrassing. Still embarrassing of course but funny too now.

“Pl-please! I-I can’t!” you screamed as tears welled at the corner of your eyes from the laughter. Joel was laughing loudly as well, showing dimple on his right cheek that you loved so much.

His fingers finally stopped moving and your laughing slowed down, you opened your eyes to Joel’s shit eating grin pasted all over his face. He was sitting on his heels now, facing you, between your thighs as your legs were over his thighs and down by his sides. His hands on the couch, either side of your hips to hold himself up.

You’re smile hurt your cheeks and the tears from laughter rolled down the side of your face. Joel was quick to wipe them away with his thumb.

“Fine I’ll make more cookies.” you say quietly, like a whisper for only him to hear.

“Promise?” Joel whispered back as his smile went gentle.

“Promise.”

The words felt like they had more meaning than they lead on. Like it wasn’t about cookies, or cowboys. Like you were promising something more than his favourite home baked goods. And it felt okay. You didn't know what it was at the moment but whatever it was, it felt okay.

“Good.” Joel concluded. “Can’t live without em’” he said as his thumb gently touched your waist again.

“Me either” you giggled.

This definitely wasn't about cookies or cowboys.

✨Bonus scene✨

WC: 846

“Yes, the bear with the blue ribbon, I got it! Just stay in the car, won’t be long girly!” Tommy called out to the car as he walked into the kitchen from the back door.

“Hi Tommy, whacha doin?” you asked him as you stood at the stove pulling out another tray of cookies, as Joel ate the rest.

“Hiya sweets, just picking up a few things for Sarah she forgot. Apparently, she can’t live without em’ for even a day,” he said as he looked around the kitchen “where is Joel at?”

“Oh, he’s in the shower, shouldn't be too long” you said as you took the oven mites off your hands, chucking them on the bench next to the stove.

“You guys been behaving?” Tommy smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes at him and ignored the blush on your cheeks.

“We always do” you smiled at him with a warning eye, that if he were to ask again you would hit him with a wooden spoon. He got the idea.

“Hey Darlin’ do you have my shir-” Joel said as walked into the kitchen as soon as he saw Tommy he huffed and leaned against the counter.

Oh, you forgot to mention, shirtless as well. Since you were indeed wearing his shirt. Why you ask? Don’t.

“What are you doing here?” Joel asked Tommy bluntly.

“Hello to you too brother,” Tommy said smiling slyly at the sight of you wearing said shirt, Joel not wearing said shirt and…wait what’s that, a book on the counter? “Just picking up some stuff for Sarah, the girl really needs a bear with a blue ribbon apparently”.

“Armchair in the Living room on the right” you said as you walked into the laundry room near the kitchen, grabbing Joel a new shirt.

“Thanks” Tommy said as he walks closer to the counter with the book. Joel is so distracted to by the cookies that just came out of the oven, attempting to make it look like he’s not drooling as he stood near the stove top with the tray on top, that he doesn’t even notice Tommy looking at the book.

“’Save a horse, Ride a cowboy’?” Tommy read the cheesy book cover out loud as he picked it up.

You rushed back into the kitchen throwing the new shirt at Joel’s face as he wiped around from the stove top to get to Tommy as well.

“NO!” You both said in unison. Somehow Joel got there first and snatched the book out of his brothers’ hands. Tommy was extremely confused, it took a bit for the book title and the reaction of you both to process, but when it did, and he knew what the book was most likely about a huge smirk smeared disgustingly over his face.

“A cowboy book?” Tommy said as Joel and your faces went red. Joel fiddling with the cover of the pages.

“It’s Joel’s!” you said quickly. Joels eyes instantly went wide as he panned his head towards you. His grip on the book tightens. Tommy looked between the both of you.

“No, it’s not! Y/N, its hers she loves cowboys!!” Joel shouted whipping his head to Tommy as if he was a kid caught stealing candy. He swung his head back over to you with eyebrows furrowed and jaw swingling open. “How DARE you.” He emphasized the word dare.

“Joel it’s okay, your allowed to like what you like. Nothing to be ashamed off.” You smirked at him as you (fake) empathetically patted his shoulder. See how he likes it.

“Okayyyy…. Well, I’ll leave you to cookie making” he pointed to you, “And I’ll leave you, dear brother, to cowboy readin’” tommy said patting the shoulder of Joel. You kept in the snort of laughter as Joel once again snapped his head to his brother, glaring firmly at the younger man. Tommy nods at the both of you and walked backwards to the Livingroom to finally get the bear Sarah wanted.

“You little shit.” Joel said looking over to your sheepish smile. His eye twitched as you shrugged your shoulder and giggled guiltily.

“What? You did say you loved the book…” you said, still smiling, as you picked up the shirt you threw at Joel in the struggle and dusted it off before handing it to him with both hands.

Joel snatched the shirt and tossed the book back onto the counter, aggressively pulled the shirt over his head.

“Tommy, did you find the bear?” Joel asked keeping his glare on you.

“Uh… Yep! found it right he-” Tommy said from the Livingroom.

“Great. Get out.” Joel said firmly. Tommy got the hint and began pacing for the backdoor again.

“No! Tommy please don’t leave, here have a cooki-”

“Bye Y/N!! Goodluck!” He said as the door closed behind him. Your eyes went back to Joel’s which had yet to stop staring. Joel waited until he hears Tommy’s truck drive away.

‘Those cookies better be the best damn things I’ve ever eaten. Or you’re screwed.”

[netherfeildren]

The Cassandra Complex : Chapter X : Geryon

Series Masterlist : Moodboard

(Din Djarin x F!Reader)

Content Warnings: Angst; Lemme say it again for those in the back, ANGST; Hurt/Comfort; Din's kinda being an asshole but he's hot and his dick is 10 inches long and he's also sorry; Dark themes from previous chapters continue

A/N: Hello and surprise and I'm sorry. I promise one day *ONE DAY* they will be happy again!!!

Geryon is my favorite figure in Greek mythology :) He is a very special monster to me :)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 8.1K

Read on AO3

CHAPTER X : GERYON

Who can a monster blame for being red?

Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red

“We have got to stop meeting like this.”

He’s been pacing back and forth across the hull of the Razor Crest, the metallic jilting song of his heavy gait, the clank, clank, clank, threatening to lull you back into unconsciousness. There should be no comfort to be found in this moment, and yet, just the sound of him is enough for a measure of peace. You can’t believe you’re here right now, lying in your pile of blankets as if no time had passed at all. His anxious pacing stirring you back into wakefulness, your head all muddied and muffled, your ears seeming to pop into a pressurized silence and then ebb back into clarity. 

You feel, suddenly, that you’re more tired than you’ve ever been in your entire life. A bone deep tiredness after a life that’s been too long and too heavy for someone who is, for all intents and purposes, so young. 

He whips around at the sound of your voice, snapping forward to loom over you, voice deep with the intent to intimidate, maybe even hurt. “How did you know about him?” He demands without preamble, picking up right where the two of you had left off before you’d stupidly fainted from pain and exhaustion. You shiver and shrink back into the blankets, pressing the tips of your fingers against your mouth to stifle the too loud hiccup of your breathing. You’re not going to be afraid of him, he doesn’t deserve that. 

You try to gather yourself, swallowing the bitter nausea that sits heavy on your tongue and push yourself up into a sitting position on shaky, weak arms as he falls with a heavy thud to kneel before you, spits your name, sharp and angry, quickly losing patience. “Who told you about him? What have you heard?” You hold out a warning palm as he leans forward, trying to bully you into compliance with the urgency of his tone. 

“Don’t touch–” you warn, and then all soft, helpless hurt and accusation, “You have a son?” And you wish your voice didn’t sound as it does, like a child begging for the truth to not be what it already is, and you won’t cry, you’ve already promised yourself you wouldn’t, but your mind is so weary, your heart so vacant, it’s hard to remember the things you have and have not promised, the things you should and should not do.

“Who told you? You promised you wouldn’t ever rifle through my head, and I swear to the Maker–”

“I can sense him in you,” you snap. “I haven’t been rifling through anything! You’re so annoying. And get back–” you bare your teeth at him in a tiny snarl, nose scrunched with the exertion it takes to push a weak tendril of the Force against his chest and shove him back just barely. If there were a well within you, measured by the will of your strength and power, the Force, it would be bone barren dry right now. 

He’d gone and had a child, a son, without you. He’d left you, or let you leave him, what did the details matter anymore – and he’d had a child with someone. 

He snatches you up by the elbow, dragging you towards him, weak and shapeless as you are, barely any strength to hold yourself up, much less defend yourself, and his grip is tight enough, punishing enough, that you know it’s meant to cause pain. Harsher than he’d ever handled you before, on the verge of hurting you in a very real way. And after everything that’d been done to you… you’re like a raw, scalded nerve, nowhere left to touch that isn’t covered in hurt. Every inch of your skin screams in pain, and you swallow your moan of agony, trying to suppress your animal sounds. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, stopping you from twisting away and squeezing the frame of your face so tight in his strong fingers, you feel your bones creak. “Explain. Now.”

“Please, Din,” Please, don’t touch me. “I can– I can sense him– inside you,” you gasp. “He’s strong. He – he has the Force?” You shake your head in his grip, brow folding in on itself, trying to make sense of what it is you’re feeling, the confusing amalgamation of Din and the Force and memories of something, someone young and innocent and pure beyond imagination. Like a well of the Force, of greater depth and strength than you’ve ever encountered before, but viewed, or felt through the veil of his memory, from afar. “You– you still carry him with you.” A child, his child. A little boy, the picture gains clarity in your mind, and then more confusion, as if there were a block in his mind, some protective encasement that keeps the truth of his precious secret safely guarded. 

His hands tighten around the curve of your jaw, jerking your face up to force your eyes to look right at him, and he holds you trapped there for one breathless moment, his gaze like this is worse than any torture you’ve endured thus far, burning but hidden, and then the miniscule shift of the helmet, and you feel the light brush of a single finger against the gem of your earring, and you think: It’s so scary out there. Do you recognize me? We used to know each other. 

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“Look how strong you’ve become,” you say by way of an answer through your smooshed cheeks and clenched teeth Like an insult more than anything else. “Whatever it was that was done to me… something far worse has happened to you. The great Mandalorian, come to save the poor little Sith, huh?”

His fingers dig into the tender skin of your cheeks, your upper throat, harder, hard enough to squeeze a moan out of you before he’s shoving you back with a revolted scoff, pressing up to his feet to pace away from you again. You’d told him once you didn’t like it when he treated you like this, roughly, all that time ago, and he’d always remembered before now, had always measured himself, but it seemed that two years was long enough for him to forget this. 

“You are not a Sith,” he reminds you without turning back, that reminder that he knows what you truly are, perhaps, even better than you yourself know, and you panic for one second that you’ll vomit. But then he gentles: “There’s blood on your earring,” and you sag forward, trying to breathe slowly through your mouth, stretching your eyes as wide open as they’ll go, forcing yourself not to blink so that the tears brimming there won’t fall. I hate you, you mouth the words silently down into the blankets, unsure who it is you’re directing them at. 

“You’re going to tell me where the fuck you’ve been,” he says, turning back to pace towards you, hands on his hips, the snap of his cloak as he whips away again, as if he can only stand to look at you for so long. “And what in the Maker’s wrong with you?” He continues. “Did you get into a fight or something?”

You shake your head slowly down at the weave of the blankets. They’re the same ones from before, he’d kept them, and you are so sad and scared and terrible, and when you lift your head back up to look at him, standing just there looking so defeated and suddenly so singularly powerless… You can’t remember what the point of all this was supposed to have been. 

“I’ve been here,” you say, for the truth is the only thing left to you now.

“On Corellia?”

“Yes.”

“And you… you can sense him on me?” And his voice has gone suddenly soft, suddenly quiet. A father speaking of his child with care, even in the tone used to address him. All the fight’s gone now, and that tiredness sets in deep where the spirit meets the bone. 

You nod, full of so much grief, unbelief that the two of you are here again together, swallowing the gasp that wants to force its way out of you, but you surely can’t help the seeping of it, for there is so much held within your heart when you say up at him with those infernal tears so close to falling: “You had a son with someone?”

He whips back around, pacing finally come to a pause. “With someone? What? N– no. No.” He shakes his head furiously, rushing back towards you, falling back to his knees so that you’re pressing yourself back and away from him. “No, cyar’ika. No. He was a foundling. I– He was a bounty, but along the way he– he became…” He shakes his head again, and you watch the tightening of his fingers around the cap of his knee, the creak of the leather of his gloves as he wrangles his restraint into control, trying not to reach for you. Please, don’t touch. Please, don’t touch. If he takes you in hand, if he puts his hands on you in gentleness or care, you’ll lose. You don’t know how, but you know you’ll be lost. But perhaps the battle is already lost, for when he says, “I would never do that to you. Never with anyone else but you,” it doesn’t matter if he’s touched you or not, the hole in the ground, the two years, the endless, endless darkness and the pleas for something worse, for end or a quiet that doesn’t stop, none of that matters anymore because the battle is lost here and now in this moment. 

Your breath comes in painful, sharp pants. The icy air gusting out of the ship's vents turns your breath to hurt in your lungs. You shake your head at him, trying to swallow the barren dryness in your throat away. “You should have.” And you don’t mean to hurt him worse than you already have when you say it. You don’t mean to hurt either one of you. These are words only of sincerity. “That’s what I left you for, so that you could have that.” But you miss the way they’d pulled your bones from your skin as you say it anyways. A terrible lie wrapped in the hopeful intention of truth. 

“I would never.” You can imagine he’d used this same tone of voice when he’d sworn his Creed as a child. All staunch honor and unwavering conviction. 

You whip your head away at that, unable to bear the sight of him, the sound of him. Even if you want to smell him more than anything. To bury your nose in the crevice between helmet and cowl and inhale deeply right there where the scent of his warmth and sweat and skin is the most concentrated. “Well that’s what I wanted. What couldn’t you understand about me leaving you? You should’ve made your own life. Forgotten me.” Snakelike and spitting and full of venom.

“Is that what you did? Forget? How? Tell me. Tell me so that I might remember for next time.” He stands to pace away again, slow measured steps now. Chewing on a thought, thinking, thinking, and then a death dealing sort of blow when he says, “I could have. I could’ve had all that, you know… There was a woman,” and his voice wavers.

So many terrible things in a terrible, terrible life. You close your eyes to it, accept, even now already, that this is how it should be. You think of your time in your beloved hole, all of your choices that lead you there to such a terrible fate, your time with him, so lovely and so full of light. To have been granted the opportunity to love and be loved, even if you’d never said it, it was the greatest gift the Maker had ever granted you. Such a recompense after everything you’d suffered. The death of your parents, a childhood alone and enslaved and abused, that moment when you’d finally put blade against the only terrible father you’d ever known, the creature who’d put you in chains and ensnared you to this dark fate, master and father and monster all in one, even that had been painful, the taking of your so fiercely desired freedom. And so this now… worse than all the rest, but you’ll accept it too. This is what he deserves. This is why you had let yourself be put away. 

“There was a woman,” he says again, voice unsure, uncomfortable. Almost like he doesn't want to, but feels he must. “A time back– we were on Sorgan, and she wanted me… she wanted me.” And he says your name again, softly this time like an apology. “To be with her, to stay with her and her daughter. She wanted us to be a family and I– I considered it… for a moment. What that would be like, to have someone want me to stay with them. To want to make an end with me.” He shakes his head down at you again, from his great height and you break. Fuck acceptance. A condescending sigh and, “You ruined that for me too. You wouldn’t let me, your memory, you wouldn’t let me be with her.”

“I hate you,” you spit through clenched teeth. You wish you had the strength right now to get up and fight him. 

“That’s fine. That’s your right. It doesn’t change the fact that she wanted me to be with her, and that I thought about it for one brief, delusional moment,” He sounds like he’s laughing through the modulator, “And then just… couldn’t. I couldn’t, cannot even fathom staying for anyone else that isn’t you.” And the laugh fizzles out into a crack. “How does that make you feel? Powerful?... Over me. Does it make you feel like you have power over me? Like you own me? Like I belong to you?” Now tears, perhaps, like he’d cry if you gave him the chance. Like you’ve hurt him enough to drive him to that. The nausea is back. The need for violence is back. The fucking fire in your back and your skin and all over… why, why did you let them do so much to you? You’d been so stupid. It’d all been such a terrible mistake. You should have never let him go. 

“No.” You won’t cry. You won’t cry. “It doesn’t make me feel powerful.”

He suddenly seems to lose all strength. Falling back into a crouch, his knees folding in under him, the clash of the armor against the durasteel floor sharp as a cracking bone. 

“Because you do– own me, that is. You do.” And he says it so simply. Like it’s the basest thing in the galaxy, as simple a thing as the birth of new life, the birth of a star, a black hole sucking an entire planet and all life into nothingness, death. Things that are really not simple or base at all. 

So you shake your head, refute his truth. “I don’t. I don’t want to – I let you go.”

“But you didn’t. Don’t you fucking see that?” And his voice is gentle, but he slams his fist against the steel floor all incongruous rage, and it echoes and rings between the two of you, his violence. “You didn’t let me go, you only took yourself away from me– left me chained.”

“What was she like?” You cut him off, an envious, ravenous thing all tinged the hue of bile – something poisoned, churning within you. “Was she beautiful? Was she kind? Was she good? All the things you could ever want a woman to be? Would she have promised to stay forever?”

“She wasn’t you.” And oh, how you hate him in this moment. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. This is guilt, this is punishment, this is retribution of the cosmic sort. Something from the Maker sent to remind you that she who sins shall be made to atone. But haven’t I atoned enough? Haven’t I paid my pound of flesh? This man and that soft heart is your punishment for all you’ve done. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you tell him because there is nothing else to tell. Because it’s the truth, and you are, you’re so sorry that he couldn’t find someone else, someone better, kinder, more alive. And then, because if a thing’s going to hurt, it should hurt all the way, a glutton for punishment but a coward for consequences you ask: “Did you fuck her?”

“I didn’t kiss her.” Consequences. You bare your teeth at him, an approximation of a hiss and a snarl and a howl of grief so ragged it rips through your throat. Folding in on yourself like a dying star you turn your face away, trying to gather yourself and get away from the sight of him.

“I hate you,” you spit the lie again, again and again as many times as necessary until it becomes truth. “I fucking hate you. You should’ve stayed lost, you should’ve gotten sucked into a blackhole for all I care, you fucking asshole. You stupid metal beast! You should have died out there, left me to rot anything, anything but this,” you heave. 

“I could’ve had a family.” And you want to ask him why he’s doing this to you. To tell him you don’t deserve such cruelty. But you know that isn’t true. 

“Then you should’ve fucking stayed with her.”

“I wish I could have. Instead, I waited for you… I looked for you.”

Blow after blow, and perhaps, you think, this is not cruelty after all, but necessity. There had always been so much left unsaid between the two of you before. Perhaps, it’s finally time only for honesty. “I didn’t ask you to wait for me,” eyes cast down at your hand twisted in the blanket, voice small and pitiful. You have new scars there now, faint and glimmering like cobwebs beneath your skin. They’d wanted to see how much it’d take to leave a mark for good. They’d found their answer. 

“You didn’t–” He scoffs, hands braced against his knees he shoves up again and turns in a directionless circle, all coiled tension and so much rage with nowhere to go but the pitiful sac of girl shaped tragedy littering the floor of his ship. He brings both hands up to clutch the curve of his helmet. “You didn’t ask me to? I didn’t fucking ask for this either.” He turns back to shout at you, a real shout this time. One so full of anger it makes you flinch. “You think this is what I wanted? To wait for someone who abandoned me out of pure selfish fear? No. No, it’s not what I wanted either. But how was I supposed to forget?” He asks. “Hm? Tell me. How was I supposed to let it all go? Tell me how you did it, and I’ll go and do the same since you’ve been so successful. Tell me how you did it and I’ll–”

You surge forward on your palms, teeth bared. “I trapped myself in a hole in the ground until I forgot my own name and still I wasn’t able to forget you.”

“What?”

“Oh?” You coo at him, eyes going all wide, you bat your lashes at him mockingly. Your shoulder suddenly feels like it’s about to pop out of its own socket with the way you’re bracing yourself on your arms. “What? You weren’t expecting that?” You sit back slowly, bones creaking. “To know while you were off fucking someone else, wishing for a family, I was trapped in a grave having my skin pulled from my body over and over and–”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m leaving.” You try and push yourself up, clawing at the walls to pull yourself to rights by your fingernails. “I hate you,” you say again, and again you don’t know which of the two of you it is you’re talking to. 

He sneaks up behind you, taking you in hand by the elbow again, Maker, your shoulder, and whipping you around to face him, clutching your other bicep to pull you up onto your tip toes and to his level. “What are you talking about?”

You let your weight go heavy and sagging in his grip, head falling back on your neck to look up at him, and he plants his feet firmly apart, locking his arms so that he’s bearing your weight entirely. He gives you a tiny jostle. “You’re exactly as I am, you know? We’ve always been the same. A creature in a mask.”

He’s quiet for a second, confused. His chin tipping to one side and then the other. You know he’s reading you for what you’re worth in this moment, which you must admit is very little. “Is that what this was all about? The whole time? My face?” Your heart goes colder than ice, and you’re glad he’s bearing your weight for you. You think, suddenly, that you’d not have been able to remain upright on your own. 

“N– no. No. I don’t care about that. I let it go years ago.”

“Let it go?”

“No. I mean–” Stupid. “Nothing.” Tongue muddled, caught. Terrible. 

“But it was something? Then? Answer me.” He jerks you again, harder this time so that your teeth click together. 

You shake your head no, but say, “Would you have been okay with it? If it had been you, the one kept in the dark.” Always the dark, again and again. “Would you have been okay never really knowing who I was?”

“You know me, cyar’ika.”

“Don't call me that.”

“You’re the only person in the entire galaxy who ever has.” And his touch is gentle and cradling now, supportive in a different way. 

“Would you have been okay with it?” You ask again stubbornly. 

“Do you think–”

“You say I’m the one that can’t ever give a straight answer, but you’re just as bad!”

“Do you think,” he repeats more forcefully, talking over you, “That your very first night on the Crest, when I gave you my name, when you told me you could see inside my mind, that I would have stayed had I not understood the reality of what it was we were getting into? What I was getting into? That there was that possibility. You told me, don’t you remember? That you could’ve looked any time. You’ve always had me in the palm of your hand, and I’ve always wanted to be just there.” His thumb starts to move gently up and down the inner slope of your bicep, it’s the first soft touch you’ve felt in two years. 

And it was something you’d always known. Of course. The most obvious thing between the two of you, besides the love. You bring your hand up slowly, pinching the lip of the helmet between your thumb and forefinger, tremulous and terrified, you pull him down slowly so that the hard curve meets your forehead in a soft press. The two of you are so still for a moment, shivering, but still. Soaking up the proximity of something so necessary for survival after going so long without. “I should have never left, but a thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts. And I am more sorry than you will ever be able to know. For all of it.”

“Tell me what happened,” he whispers, voice smooth and deep, fathomless through the modulator. You close your eyes and think of the warm cave, the pool of water, the feel of this man that you love moving inside of you, using his body to translate all he’d felt for you with his touch. You think of the amazing ability people have to hurt those they love in ways no one else possesses. It is a cruel realization the business of loving someone brings about, the reality that to truly hurt someone, you must truly know them, and that to know is to love. 

“I was taken. Put in a very dark place. Hurt. They tried to make me forget, and I could not help but remember. It was all such a terrible mistake, Din. I made a terrible mistake.”

“Taken? Taken where? By who?” Voice full of panic and urgency. Everything you never wanted him to know. He brings one hand to his mouth, pulling the glove away by the edge of his teeth, and you follow it with your eyes as he lets it fall away, slowly, the dull thud of leather hitting steel, and then his skin, his skin on your face.  He cups your cheek in the palm of his hand, and it’s two years of heartache and a terrible noise coming from either one of you, an animal dying or coming to life, something painful and raw. He holds you so gently, and you let so many terrible things happen and now what will the two of you do? How will he ever look at you after he knows everything you’ve done? 

Everything you’ve ever done. Your eyes shift upwards again, the black transparisteel T-visor. That last, eternal barrier. That haunting flash of beskar in your mind, buried deep, come to the surface.

“A grave. Zealots. Servants of the Dark side.” You bring your hand up, run a slow, gentle finger along the edge of dark protecting his eyes from you. 

“Tell me,” he says gently.

But you shake your head, mouth pursed. Not that. Something else though… “I never looked, you know?” 

He knows you mean his face. “Why not?”

“It wasn’t mine to take. Not mine to have. It wasn’t the right time.”

“If there was ever going to be anyone, it would’ve been you.”

“There is one more thing.” Your voice sounds very far away. One of those terrible moments when your life suddenly branches out before you again, and you always know how a thing will end and there was never any other recourse but for the two of you to end up exactly here in this moment from the very first time. 

“I killed a Mandalorian once,” you finally, finally tell him. “Many, but there was one worse than all the rest.” 

I’ve never met a Mandalorian before, a lie and a truth. You’d never met one you hadn’t killed in the end. 

He goes shocked into stiffness, hands rigoring into cold shackles around your arms. They drop from where he grips you. He steps back, and in a way, it is such a relief. The truth you’ve held on the tip of your tongue, the thorn beneath your nail bed for so long, finally come into the light. 

“What?”

“Have you– have you ever done something so– so terrible that you regretted instantly? Something you felt in the moment you had no other choice but, and then– and then suddenly clarity sets in, and you realize you could have done everything else but what you’d just done? Wished you could turn back time in that very instant, and go back and change everything?” You press forward to clutch at his cloak, fingers twisting in the coarse fabric to force him to stay with you, but he pulls you away with fingers wrapped around your wrists, steps back again and again. 

“I’ve done terrible things–” you whisper, your eyes so wide, terrified of the thing you’re about to confess, of yourself, always, more than anything. “Things that you’d hate me for, if you knew the truth of them. To myself, to others.” You bring your hands up to your throat, wrapping your fingers around yourself there, feeling the patter of your thundering pulse against your palm. 

“Tell me,” he says again, and this is the last moment, the last stretch. The end is so near. You will look for relief in this feeling of horror, you decide. Like all other times when you’d been so entrenched in the pain of it all, in fear or loneliness or violence, you’ll look for the relief this confession will grant. Perhaps, absolution will finally be possible by way of confession. Exile, too, surely, afterwards, for you know there’s no way he’ll ever stay with you, look at you, after you tell him of your killing of his people. And you think again, that you have always been a monster, red, but if you’d been given a chance, a choice, then perhaps, you could have served as mantle and protector for a family that had never been afforded to you. You know that he could have been that, that you’ve lost the chance now for good. 

“After the fall of the Empire, the Dark and Vader, my master was weak, his acolytes dispersed and felled, their power waning. And for the first time in my life, I saw hope.” Your voice fluttering up with an airy note of that childlike wonder you’d felt in that moment of realization, when you’d recognized what it was you could become in that moment of freedom. “I took it, seized it. I killed him.” You walk backwards, blindly, needing the support of the wall to tell of this. “You know, my first memory is of my master. I can’t even remember my parents anymore. And he was never kind, surely. Never gentle, and caring only in a way that served him. But I belonged to him as any tool, weapon, belongs to a man, and there was something about that, that was meaningful. A child, alone, belonging to someone who would keep them no matter what. Sometimes, I try and remind myself of this, when I think too much on the things he had me do, the things I did for him, sometimes even gladly… I remind myself of this as a way of consolation. What else did I know? What other choice did I have? Death? Perhaps… But strangely, before… or,” You shake your head, your eyes falling closed as you search for the words or answers within yourself, “Strangely, I– I can’t remember when that changed, but it did because I didn’t always want to die. I– I wanted to live, even if it was for him. To please him or serve him or be useful in any way. They hoped to fill me with fear. But fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate… leads to power. I was only ever the thing he wanted me to be in the moment I was powerful enough to defeat him. And you can’t know what that means, to live such a fruitless existence, to have no purpose… it’s terrible. But he finally gave me that in the most terrible and glorious of ways.” You open your eyes again to take him in, Din with the heart of a sun. 

“I don’t mean it as an excuse, but– but I think it’s important to remember. That he was ever the only one… it feels that, before I met you, he was the only other person I ever really knew. Only ever him, but then I met you, and then I knew you. And can a girl ever be more animal than girl? I don’t know… but surely if it was possible, then that’s what I was. So when I escaped, when I killed the only father I’d ever known, who was also a monster, yes, but also all I’d ever known, I was more animal than girl in that moment. You understand, Din?” You ask, but he gives no hint that he does, more droid than man now, and so you continue on anyways. “I killed the remainder of his following. I was stronger than them, stronger than him sometimes, and I know he feared that. I escaped to Corellia. The chaos of the planet was easy to hide within, but you must remember, again, I was more animal than anything else at that moment.” You give a short laugh, “I don’t know why all of my tragedy always seems to start and end on that planet. Perhaps, it’s why I keep going back there. And he–” You want to turn away, but force yourself to remain facing him. “He ended up joining me in that tragedy. He tried to help me, the Mandalorian, found me broken and discarded, waiting to die in the gutter like a street rat, entirely unaware of what it was to survive without the guiding hand of someone else.” You’d been so terrified, delirious and confused and reborn again – like an infant, come straight from a hostile and poisoned womb, newly birthed unto the galaxy and left to fend for yourself. Mind and body, savaged, yes, but with a soul that sang and howled with victorious growing pains at your newfound freedom. It had been so long, trapped, so long you’d forgotten the sound of your mother’s voice, the feel of your father’s strong hand on your child softened cheek, but you’d been free then, and you’d thought that even if you were to die like that, in the slums of Corellia, on the street like a pauper, at least you’d die clutching freedom in your hand. And then he’d found you. 

“But I had never known help, Din. Never. I couldn’t recognize such a thing. He led me to safety within the city, saw me for what I was, a broken, haggardly thing, perhaps, and he helped me. And once he was done showing me his kindness, I killed him. For no other reason except mistrust and habit. I– I didn’t know there was another recourse, that that wasn't what I had to do. I didn’t know I had other choices besides violence. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I killed him, Din. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m sorry I am the thing they made me. I’ve tried to be better, I’ve failed bitterly, and I’m sorry.”

You hope he understands that you hadn’t thought before you’d acted, more animal than girl, you’d performed on base instinct. And worse than anything else, he’d had a son, that Mandalorian, like Din does now, and you can still bring forth the memory of the child’s face in your mind even after all this time. You’d seen him as you’d ripped through his father’s mind, pilfered and savaged his memories and left him for dead in a filth strewn, back alleyway. An entire life torn apart in a single moment, and in the very millisecond before his soul had left him, the last thought you’d laid eyes on within his mind had been the image of his own face reflected back at him as he’d seen it earlier that day just before he’d hidden behind the protective helm of his Creed. You’d stolen his future, stolen a child’s father, and desecrated a life’s worth of dedication all in one single foul, unthinking instant. You’d not even given him the dignity of dying with his Creed intact. 

After all this time, you still felt that was what made the sin all the worse. That unintentional theft, to openly spit in the face of his benevolence and generosity, an unforgivable thing. 

And it would be easy to say that you hadn’t recognized that which he’d been offering – the sight of a merciful and helping hand extended to you without malintent or pretense. That you hadn’t recognized it, and perhaps, it was the truth, but you were sure it didn’t really matter at the end of it.  A thing worse than all the death and destruction and pain you’d dolled out in the name of the dark side, that one act was singular in its unencumbered horror for you’d not had the farce of your master's orders to hide behind, the helm of the dark whispering in your ear, stealing you of your choice. This had been wholly your own action, entirely your doing. 

The first thing that had ever belonged only to you in your entire life. And strange because during your time as a Sith, you’d undoubtedly killed any number of the beskar covered warriors, but this last one, it had been a kill without thought, without necessity, without influence. Only as yourself. Perhaps it had set the stage for all the rest. Perhaps it had set the stage for your own fall. 

You aren’t aware you’re crying until you feel his mouth on your face, his throat vibrating with low growls as he licks at your tears, the hollow thud of the helmet hitting the floor finally registering in your ears. Stop, it’s okay. Please, don’t cry, little one. You squeeze your eyes shut tight as you can, trying to pull away, escape him again, but he pulls you close. The long, uncompromising line of him pressing all the way along your softness, inciting the chill of death inside of you back to life. 

“Do you really think,” he starts low, the sound of his unmodulated voice for the first time in so long, “that there’s anything you could ever do, that I’ve not forgiven you for already a thousand times over?”

You begin to thrash in his grip, feral and wild and not wanting to be tamed this time, but he does not let you run, not again. His arms like bands of iron around your waist, stitching you to the cold steel of his chest and crushing your protests from your lungs. The two of you fold slowly to the ground. Huddling you between his crouched thighs, you try and push back, but he cages you between his knees and arms, and you turn your face away from him, trying to escape his wet mouth, the damp of his lips catching against your tear soaked lashes. “I never wanted to be this– this thing,” you gasp by way of another apology. “I never wanted to live like this – strange and violent and obscured in the shadow of something I was too young to ever understand until it was too late. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I lied or deceived you or made you feel something for someone that never really existed. Most of all, I’m sorry that it could not be true,” you gasp. “I’m sorry that I could not be true. That I couldn’t be something else.”

“You have nothing to apologize to me for. You think…” he says very slowly. Measured. “You think that I haven't done terrible things, as well? That I haven’t killed when I, perhaps, could have been merciful? That I’ve never been afraid or lost or weak? That I’ve never let violence overtake me? Worst of all, that sometimes I even liked it. We’ve all done things to be ashamed of. We will all, at one point, do things to be ashamed of. That is what it is to be human.” Human. You don’t know if you’ve ever truly been that. “What means more to me is honor and loyalty and character – these are things you’ve shown me.”

“I haven’t,” you cry.

“You have,” he growls, and he takes you between his hands violently so that you’re crying out in pain from your wounds or shock or fear of what he’ll do to you now. Crushing you to him so fiercely you feel as though he’s trying to squeeze your very heart from your chest so that he might look upon it with his own two eyes. “You exist. You exist, and you are here and you are mine. You were never given a choice. You were a child, stolen and abused and turned into something you were never supposed to be. The Force within you is a gift, and they tried to corrupt it into something it should have never been, but they did not succeed.” You try and shake your head at him, push him away, scream and cry and tell him that he’s wrong, that you are bad and poisoned and that even he, the great warrior, cannot save you. But he grips your jaw in his long fingers, grinding your bones between his strength, and halts your disagreement. He snarls at you, so furious at what had been done to you. You realize, suddenly, that he is vibrating with barely restrained rage. For you. Not at you. 

“They did not succeed. Your presence here, your regret, your wish for more, for better, your very escape, proves to me that they did not. You were too strong, too good.” I am not, you moan, starting to thrash and claw in his arms again. You don’t know, you’re wrong. “I know your true heart, I see you. As much as you hate it, as much as you wish it were otherwise, I know the true desires of your mind. As much as it pains you to be seen, to be known, I do. I always have, from that very first moment in the darkness, I saw you.” And his voice holds so much conviction, so much surety, you’re left with no other choice but to believe him, for Din is good and honest and true, and if he says it’s so, then it must be so. 

You go loose and weak suddenly, eyes pressed together tightly, squeezing tears out through crinkled lashes. Din is good and honest and true, and if he says it’s so, then it must be so. Your entire body is trembling, fraught with nerves and a surging of truth inside of you so overwhelming your heart beats in your ears, behind the fragile membrane of your eyelids. 

They’d done such terrible things to you, over and over again, and you were nothing but a single blip in the galaxy of stars, a singular pinpoint of terrible pain. That’s what they’d turned you into, but here, in his arms, you’re beginning to realize they’d failed at their goal.

He pulls your face into the space between his jaw and shoulder then, so tenderly, and you finally open your eyes to take in the skin of his throat, the growing stubble there. “Come here, sweetheart. It’s okay. We’re together now.”

“I’m not sweet, don’t call me that.” But there is no conviction behind your words, and you clutch at him more tightly. Your fingers twisting into the folds of his cape, clawing at the skin of his cheeks. 

“You are for me,” he says. And it’s true. There’d always been something about him that’d made you fragile in the face of his strength, in a way you’d needed, in a way you’d never had before.

“No. No.” You try and push and pull at him weakly, fruitlessly. “I’m leaving soon. I just need to catch my breath, and then I’m going.”

And he clutches you tighter at that, fingers twisting through your hair to jerk your head back painfully. You snap your eyes shut, mouth falling open on a gasp. “You’re not going fucking anywhere, do you hear me?” 

He’s being so careless with his face, dangling it before your closed-eyed face. “I won’t open my eyes. I don’t care what you do.”

He gives a rough sound of frustration, pressing his panting mouth to your cheek, growling against your skin, “Try to leave me again and see what fucking happens,” and there’s no doubt or wavering in his voice, only a great sort of conviction laced in terrible fury. “Go anywhere in the galaxy and see how long it takes me to find you again.”

“Please, Din– it hurts.” You can’t help it, he’s being too rough for the state you’re in now, barely holding yourself together at the seams. His hands leave you immediately, pulling back so that you’re sagging between his crouched thighs. You listen to the sound of him picking up the helmet, the hydraulics engaging once again as he fits it over his face. 

The two of you are quiet for a moment, catching your breaths. Your lungs feel set to burst, your vision jumping from bright light to murky dark and your stomach twists a sharp, brutal pain. Everything hurts everywhere. 

“How long?” And you know he’s asking about your time captured. 

“I don’t know,” you say, bracing your hand against the hard strength of his thigh, barely able to keep yourself upright. “I lost track of time, but it was winter when they took me away.”

“It’s winter again now.”

“Yes.” And the truth sits like a heavy smog between the two of you, a very long time. “I don’t want you to forgive me,” you say then. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Which is why you won’t look at my face.” He pets your head so gently, and you lay your cheek against the beskar over his thigh, letting the coolness of the metal settle the flames running beneath your skin, and think it is terrible, sometimes, to be understood so deeply. Tears drip over the bridge of your nose and lose themselves in the weave of his pants. 

He shifts, settling on a folded foot beneath himself, bringing you in closer to his chest, careful, careful, as if you’d been made of nothing but breakable hurt. Silence swells, fraught and unbearable, between the two of you, and your heart beats in rebounding thumps. You feel you know what he’s going to say before he even says it. “I told you that there’s nothing you could ever do I’d not forgive you for. I think… I think that love allows for forgiveness.”

You choke on your breath. “Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it,” you beg. He continues to pet your hair slowly. 

“I love you. And you’re going to listen to me say it. If I have to live with it, then so do you.”

“This doesn’t feel like love, this feels like punishment,” you whisper, tears falling faster, soaking the duraweave beneath. 

“How would you know? You’ve not had it before.”

Your eyes snap up to the face of his helmet, and you try and jerk away, but he holds you in place with a hand fisted in your hair. His voice is still gentle, not meant to hurt. “Fuck you,” you spit, hurt anyways.

“But neither have I, and yet, I know that’s what this is.” You shake your head in his grip, so full of confusion, listening to the wheezing whittling of your breaths pass in and out of you. You can’t understand. You don’t. Or you don’t want to. 

There is something humiliating about the easiness of his forgiveness. He forgives you now, and so what was all that for? Where does the point of all your suffering go now that he’s so swiftly given you that which you’d craved for so long? 

“I don’t give a damn what you’ve done. I’d let you stab a knife through my heart if it pleased you and die still loving you.” He cups the side of your tear soaked face, drags the warm, dry pads of his thumb gently beneath one swollen, aching eye. The callus of his trigger finger catches on the paper fragile skin, and there is a writhing, howling pain working inside of you, inside your heart. 

I love you too, you mouth up at him, words made only of air, but no less true. “But I can’t look yet,” you tell him, “I’m not ready yet.” Not strong enough to grant myself that. 

“I know.” And you’re grateful. Grateful for this, for his understanding, even if it is terrible. Grateful he’d not kissed you yet; you’re not ready for that yet either. 

“How can you not be angry with me? How can you not hate me?”

“The only thing I’ve ever been angry at you about, is that you forced me to betray you.”

“I didn’t–”

“I should have never let you go.”

“I didn’t want you to,” your voice breaks. “I wanted you to fight.”

“I know, cyar’ika. I should have seen that.”

There is, with startling clarity, the realization that there was no point at all. That there is never any point, justification to suffering. It just is, and then it is not. 

“Why did I do all of it?” You plead, cry.

“Why did you do all of it?” He asks you instead, for at the end, you’re the only one who can say. 

And there is no justification, and no point, and it all just is. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“You did what you had to. Or what you thought was right. I know. I see who you really are. I understand.” And absolution is a very specific sort of thing, and it lives here between the two of you. It always had

Chapter XI

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog!

[jayke0]

Moron

Pairing: Blue Jones and Cecil Dennis x fem reader

Summary: kinktober day 15, Free Use

Rating: 18+

Warnings/content: Free use (though probs not as much as expected), drunkeness, alcohol mentions, degrading, blowjob/facefucking, p in v, protected sex (condom), oral (f receiving), squirting, threesome, hair pulling, crying, Blue is his own warning, name calling, Cecil just being an overall dummy and saying funny things, lmk if there's anything else i should add :).

Word count: 1,982

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

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As much as Blue hates to admit it, you don't belong to him. You've had enough other men's cocks inside you by now for it to quite frankly be stupid of him to say it; yet he still does, he still tells you every time he's balls deep inside you that you belong to him and him only.

You have someone else that says the same kinda thing, but it's just the other way round. Cecil likes knowing that he's yours, and unlike yourself, he actually sticks to it… not that he could find any other girl that'd take his pathetic ass anyway.

The man comes stumbling into the club as usual, bottle in one hand and red stained cloth wrapped around the other. He asks around for you of course, but when he's directed towards the head of the club's office he's faced with something he didn't want to see in a million years; you, cheek pressed harshly against the desk as Blue Jones pounds you from behind, and the worst part is that you seem to be loving it.

Cecil bursts in, making both of you stop in your tracks.

"Heyy! You can't do that! She said she's for me!" The disheveled man protests.

Oh my god.

"Cecil– ah– get outta here! You dunno what you're getting yourself int—" you're silenced by a hard thrust from Blue, who'd only seemed to stop for a second at the disruption before continuing to slam into you harshly.

The sight makes Cecil wince, and he can already feel the tears welling in his eyes as he wipes his face on his sleeve.

"This your other man huh?" Blue leans over you and sneers in your ear. "The one you like to just give yourself too? Without even a care for the money he doesn't make me?" Blue eyes the other man before gesturing for him to come over to the both of you. "She's told me how pathetic you are, you're just a bumbling moron looking for a quickie, ain't you?"

Cecil shakes his head quickly, but the tears start falling down his face as he sniffles and tries to hide it in his jacket. His cheeks are so rosy and flushed, strands of curls falling in his face as his shoulders shudder. It's a sight that you're quite familiar with, and one that makes you more aroused than it probably should.

You manage to look up at Cecil despite the other man's hand wrapped around the back of your neck and pressing you against the hard wood. "Cecil baby, c'mere." You gesture for him to come closer after smacking Blue's wrist to slow down, which he surprisingly obliges to.

Cecil stumbles towards you and puts the bottle on the desk. Feeling your arms wrap around his waist is somewhat reassuring to the man and he sighs shakily, showing you his bloody hand with a pout. "I tried fucking some other girl, but she got pissed when I swallowed one of her rings by accident when I was sucking on her fingers."

You try not to laugh, but it's incredibly hard when the man just naturally gets himself into moronic situations.

Blue isn't as ashamed to hide his laughter, a raucously snarky chuckle coming from behind you.

You manage to prop yourself up on your elbows and you stroke his wrists, carefully running your fingers over his. "I want you to join, Cecil, will you do that for me?"

You know he's a sucker for pleasing you… and for getting his cock sucked whenever he can.

"Only if he shuts the fuck up." He points at Blue, which warrants a hard thrust from the club owner.

You gasp and nod. "He will baby, he will. C'mere, lemme make you feel better."

Your hands start working on Cecil's trousers, which is hard to do when you're getting your back blown out by your boss, especially one that favours you the most. Eventually you pry his slacks open to paw at his cock. You wrap your hand around the clothed flaccid length while the other holds onto his good hand; you know he loves that too, it makes him feel wanted.

It doesn't take very long for Cecil to get hard, despite being face to face with his 'contender', and soon he's rolling his hips into your hand and begging for your mouth.

"Damn, you get excited quick don't you?" Blue mocks, which makes Cecil whine and buck his hips into your hand.

You feel him rest his bad hand on your head and a little part of you hopes he doesn't get any fucking blood in your hair. Your attention is drawn back to the pathetic man that's now whaling for you to suck his dick.

"Please baby! Please please, I've been good— well apart from earlier but that don't count 'cause I didn't even get to stick it in."

You moan softly, since you love it when he tells you he's been good, before you pull his cock free of his underwear, the tip throbbing and leaking already.

Blue's pace seems to stop for a moment as he watches you take the blunt head in your mouth, wrapping your lips around Cecil's shaft while the man in question whimpers.

The club owner's cock twitches as he observes you taking it deeper and deeper till your nose is pressed against the scruffy man's abdomen, unkempt pubes tickling your skin.

"Shit, honey, you're so good at taking it in the throat aren't you?" Blue's hand runs over your head and you nod dumbly, loving the feeling of being full at both ends.

"Let's see how you fair while I'm fucking your brains out."

You whine and choke as Blue starts thrusting again. The way you get pushed forward only pushes you further down on Cecil's cock, who lets out a strangled moan.

Eventually you get your bearings and you're able to wrap your hand around the other's cock and pull off of him, just to take him all into your mouth once again.

Both the men moan at that and you feel Blue's hips start to stutter as he struggles to hold himself together, curses and moans coming out through clenched teeth.

"God, I love watching you being used, you like it don't you? Like having both your greedy holes filled? Just like the whore you are." Blue tugs your hair, which in turn pulls your mouth off of Cecil with a loud pop and a gurgled moan from you.

"I do, Blue! Fuck I love both your cocks." You whine, scrambling to get your mouth on the other man again.

Cecil tries to rock his hips forward with desperate cries, but the club owner keeps your head firmly pulled back.

"Beg for it, beg to suck his cock again."

"Oh c'mon! I thought you said you were gonna be quiet—" Cecil complains.

You whimper and whine, but Blue's grip is tight on your hair, and if you wait any longer you're going to cum all over the harsher man's cock before you even get your mouth on Cecil.

"Please Blue— please lemme help him— ah— he's so desperate for it I can't help it!"

That seems to work, the man letting go of your head to let you go back to what you were doing.

Cecil feels like he's going explode if he doesn't feel the warmth of your mouth soon, but finally your lips are wrapped around him again and he can hold the back of your head; this time going not so easy on you.

He fucks into your wet heat with staggered thrusts, his head tilted back in pleasure as he uses your throat for his own gain, loud pathetic whimpers coming from his lips.

" 'atta girl, all for us to use—" Blue pants. You can hear in his voice that he's getting close too, which you're relieved about, because you think if he continues fucking you like this your legs are going to give out and he'll have to hold you up.

"I wanna use you like this more— please lemme do this more, it's so nice." Cecil begs, but you're unsure if it's for you or for Blue.

"Wonder how many others I can get to fuck you, maybe one in this tight little hole here—" your boss runs his thumb over your other hole and it makes you choke out a moan.

The constricting of your throat is enough to make Cecil spill suddenly, his cock buried so deep in your throat that it bypasses your taste buds and pumps straight down your esophagus.

Blue is next to fill you up, his growls and moans making you whimper as he grips your hips and fills the condom with his arousal, his head tilting back to enjoy the feeling.

Your legs are shaking by the time the men both pull away, but you're left still strung high on that cliff, hoping to God that one of them will take mercy on your poor throbbing cunt.

Your prayers are answered sooner than you expect.

Blue's arms wrap underneath your knees and pull you up against his chest, your legs crushing against your own chest with your throbbing heat on show for Cecil.

All you can do is scramble a little in Blue's grasp; if you know him well enough, you know what he wants, and it's going to make you scream and claw at his arms from being so sensitive.

"I see you looking at her. Go on, use that stupid mouth for something good."

Cecil is drooling at the sight of your cunt spread for him like that and he drops to his knees, gazing up at you as if you're some kind of deity blessing him with your presence.

Your arms hold onto Blue's, bracing yourself for the way Cecil's tongue is going to make you squirm, but before you can, you feel hardness bumping against your cunt.

How the fuck is he hard again already?

You don't have time to contemplate before your boss is shoving his thick cock inside you once more, fucking you open by bouncing you on himself.

"Shit, I love this cunt, honey."

All you can do is shriek and clench around him, the feeling being enhanced when you feel Cecil's tongue working on your clit… He may not be the best at holding his load or fucking, but he definitely knows how to use his tongue.

You're driven closer and closer to ecstasy each time you're brought down on Blue's cock, Cecil's tongue waiting for you mercilessly every time the other is buried deep inside your cunt.

Your body feels like it's on fire, and it's only a matter of a few more thrusts before you're crying out for both of them, your body squeezing and tensing on Blue so much that you're pretty sure it winds him for a second. You feel pleasure rush through your body and out of your cunt, and it's only once you open your eyes that you realise what happened.

"Oh sh–shit... I'm sorry, Cecil..."

The man looks up at you in pure awe before shaking his head, pushing his dampened curls out of his face as he wipes your dripping arousal from his skin. "I had a girl actually piss on me once, so that was a much better surprise."

You aren't able to hold back a laugh this time, though it's definitely a shaky one... and you even hear Blue let out a quiet chuckle.

You're about to let yourself down, but the harsher man tightens his grip on your thighs, and that's when you realise he didn't cum. "Ah ah, where'd you think you're going, honey? You still owe me another orgasm, and I think I got a lot more friends that would wanna get in on this too, sweetheart."

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Prompts by: @/flightlessangelwings

Tagging people: @cowboymarcs @sad1st1c-wh0re @poopoobuttsy @boredzillenial @mllover260 @simpforbritgents @saevenswelt @partssoldseparately @keira-kaz2y5 @theincredibleinkspitter @l-lune @red-hydra @queerponcho @summonthesoups @motleyfolk @steven-grants-world @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[iliektehhaxs]

Thigh Riding with the FFXVI Boys

Rating: 18+ Pairings: Reader/Clive Rosfield, Reader/ Cidolfus Telamon, Reader/ Barnabas Tharmr, Reader/Joshua Rosfield Author's note: I had some vile thoughts about Clive's thighs, which evolved into this. I truly have no shame.

Clive Rosfield

You’re both lying in your shared bed chambers, what started as a chaste kiss soon turned into more, the heated exchange leaving you aching for more. His lips assault your own, large hands bringing you closer and closer into his lap as you grind against him.

“Founder, you’ll kill me,” he groans with a smile, rolls his eyes as you straddle his leg. 

“Come on Clive,” you whine. Dragging yourself higher and higher on his thick thighs. “Lemme ride you? Please? I promise it’ll feel good, just let me—”

A clench of his thigh and you shut up, whatever you were going to say interrupted with a cry of his name.

Clive shakes his head, holds you down and moves your body faster. “This is your punishment, for being a tease the whole day—”

You’re aware of your actions, how you had bent over in his favorite sundress, pressed your ass against him as he walked past and let him wanting in the middle of the hideaway. Even so you beg for forgiveness, cradling his head between your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you plead, kissing at his jaw. “I just wanted to mess with you a little, please—”

“You certainly did,” he grunts, watching your body shake with fascination. “And now you reap the rewards. You come like this or not at all, understand?”

You want to argue, but his steel gaze makes your words die on your tongue. Another whine, your hips move on their own, faster and faster still. Pawing at his bare chest, the hard plane serving as an anchor as he manhandles you.

He swallows every noise you make, every high-pitched sob and wail you make only spurring him further. “What’s wrong? Can’t take what you dish out?”

There’s a cruel laugh that leaves him, but you’re too far gone to care, aching for more until his fingers find your clit.  You fall to ruin with his name on your lips, your release dripping against his thighs. 

You share a moment of calm, breaths entangling with each other, the silence broken when his cock presses at your entrance.

Strained, he sighs into your mouth. “You’ll be the death of me,” before flipping you onto your back.

Cidolfus Telamon

When Gav mentioned Cid needed you in his solar you had an idea of his intentions, but you never expected to find him shirtless in his chair, legs spread.

“I was just thinking about you,” he said as you entered. Fully turned and beckoning you toward him, his voice invites you closer.

“Here, come take a seat on your commander's lap.”

He’s a tease to the highest degree, you knew this already, but he still manages to surprise you. You look to his legs, and back to him, biting your lip in hesitation. 

“Come now,” he drawls, patting his leg. “I know you’re interested.”

Damn him and his smug grin because he’s right, and it only grows wider when you walk forward. One step, and then another, his eyes follow you closely as you straddle his leg, finding just the right spot that makes your breath catch in your throat.

Observant as he is, he feels your reaction, leans in close to say: “Right there?”

He moves your hips just slightly and you answer with a sigh. “Yes, right there.”

He makes a noise in agreement, and then rocks you back and forth, drawing out the cutest moans from your lips.

“Told you it’d feel nice,” he sighs. His voice echoes in your ears, makes your body hotter as he drags his thigh against your pussy. 

“Suppose that’s all you need then,” he teases. His hands grip your ass tighter when you grind into him. You’re lost in the feeling of the soft leather against your clit, your head hanging down as you pick up the pace.

Don’t, don’t say that—” you gasp, whimpering when he lands a slap to your rear.

“That’s not what it looks like to me.” Another slap echoes through the air. “Seems to me you’re enjoying yourself plenty. Willing to bet I don’t even need to fuck you, just let you sit pretty on my lap just like this—”

His leg rises higher and higher, laughing as you tremble above him. “I’m right aren’t I?”

Grunts bounce off the walls, a rhythm forming between the two of you. “Don’t even need my cock, do you?”

“I do,” you moan, uncaring of how loud you are. “I need it, please—”

“What was that?” He huffs, bites at your neck and licks at the marks he leaves behind. “I can’t hear you dear, speak up.”

“I need your cock, please Cid!” you cry, holding onto his shoulders. Your legs burn with exhaustion, back arching into his touch. He bounces his thigh once, twice, growling in your ear as he does.

“Come for me love, and I’ll let you have it.”

There’s a moment when your body goes numb, before you become awash with emotion. He comforts you through your orgasm, mumbling praise as you press yourself into his hold, shaking.

A moment of quiet, you feel the press of his bulge against the side of your leg as he speaks.

“That was only the beginning, we still have the rest of the night.”

Barnabas Tharmr

Sleipnir informed you that Barnabas would be missing all day, with him being unable to return until nightfall. Diplomatic duties, he called it, and even though you knew it was a requirement of being king of your own nation, you couldn't help but feel just the slightest bit lonely. That loneliness soon turned to longing, and when he left you alone in your shared bed to continue his work, that longing turned to lust.

You knew he was busy, but you didn’t really care. You wanted to see your husband, manners be damned.

Your entrance is announced with the gentle creaking of the door. Instantly his head lifts to admonish, only for his gaze to soften at the sight of you.

“My love, what are you doing here?” He asks, neck deep in a stack of papers. He usually looks exhausted, but it’s as if the sight of you alone gives him a boost of energy. 

Wordlessly he opens his arms and you stride toward him, falling into his embrace. He holds you tight, breathes in your scent and sighs blissfully.

“I’ve missed you, my king,” you mumble in his hair, your voice carrying an all-too familiar whine to it.

“Is that so?” He chuckles, watches you nod with a pout on your lips. “I apologize for neglecting you, my dear. As you can see, I have been otherwise occupied.”

He waves towards the messy stack of documents half-heartedly before looking back to you.

“I know, I know,” you agreed. You move to sit onto his lap and he lets you, the feeling of his warm hands against your waist making your body relax. “Couldn’t you take a break? For me?”

For once you take advantage of your charms, give him the best doe-eyes you can and stroke his jaw. There’s a moment of weakness, the temptation to give in visible in his eyes, but he soon shakes his head.  “Unfortunately I cannot.”

The disappointment is visible on your face. A kiss to your temple does little to help.

A beat, he takes your chin between his fingers and gives you a sinful smile. “I have an idea, if you’re interested.”

You nod, following the movement of his body. He relaxes further in his chair, pulling you forward.

“I can’t stop my work, however…”

He shifts, places you fully onto his leg and purrs into your ear.

“...you are free to take what you need.”

He looks at you expectantly, your facing getting hot at the implication. Your eyes flick between him and your position, easing yourself onto the thick muscle with a languid pace. Slow, calculated, you glide onto him until your lust catches up with you, burying your face in his chest as you rock back and forth.

“That’s it…” he coos, leaving a kiss to your cheek before working on his papers once more. “Behave, and when I’m done I will make sure you’re taken care of.”

Back and forth, you move erratically, and even though his eyes are on his paperwork his attention is on you, the slight bounce to his leg bringing you to new heights. You whine into his tunic, a familiar heat blossoming in your core.

He takes notice immediately, holds you down and presses you further as he clenches his leg, comforting you as you shake and shudder on top of him, struggling for breath.

“Such a pretty sight, my beautiful queen falling apart.” he mutters, his eyes ripped from whatever he was doing before to watch you. You’re certain you’ve left a mess of his pants, but he doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. 

“I barely have to touch you, desperate thing that you are.” he hums. His words bring you to completion, thighs shaking with the force of your orgasm. His strong hand rubs your back when you collapse on top of him, kissing at your face and tasting the sweat from your brow.

“So well behaved,” he quipped, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Now, are you satisfied or would you rather I lend my efforts?”

Joshua Rosfield

When Joshua suggested trying something new in the bedroom you were on board immediately. You fully trusted him heart and body, but you will admit, you had your doubts in the beginning.

“So, I just sit?” You ask. He nods excitedly, beckons you close and pats his leg. You follow, letting yourself settle into his embrace.

“You trust me, right?”

“I do, it’s just…a little simple, don’t you think?”

He kisses away your doubt, your body relaxing under his touch. “Have I ever left you unsatisfied?”

The answer comes to you easily. “No, but—“

He interrupts you with another kiss. “Then trust that I will not start now.”

And so he kept his promise, within minutes you were helplessly moaning into his mouth, descending into madness with each push and pull, his hands glued to your waist.

Somewhere between begging him for more and crying out his name you apologized for ever doubting him.

The desire you feel suffocated you, grips you tight and doesn’t let go. A particularly hard bounce has your eyes closed in pleasure before Joshua brings your attention back to him.

“Don’t close your eyes dear, look at me,” he whispers. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders, but you look up anyway and stare through half-lidded eyes.

“There you are, that’s it,” he gasps. “I knew you could do it.”

He surges forward, capturing your lips as you squirm on his lap. He swallows every noise you make greedily, a desire to consume your very being. His fingers sneakily find your clit and circle the sensitive nub, forcing you to pull away and cry out in bliss.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he coos. “I’ve got you, just let go for me.”

You do as he asks, letting your juices run down his leg. Your hips stutter against him, body soon falling limp and succumbing to pleasure. Your mind still feels heavy with lust, mouthing half-finished sentences until you can manage to catch your breath.

“Where the hells did you learn that?” you mumble.

He chuckles at your weakened state, running his hands across your body. “I may have heard Cid mention the idea.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

Your laughter falls in sync with his as he speaks. “Even so, I thought it was interesting. I enjoy looking at you. It’s not everyday I get to witness someone so pretty.”

Your face runs hot at his words. “You see me every day though.”

He places a chaste kiss on your lips. “And yet it’s never enough.”

He maneuvers you onto the bed, crawls between you and plays with the waist of your underwear.

“Now, be a dear and let me see more.”

[shittyassffblog]

Free Bird - Part 5

It's been a while, sorry guys. Been kinda tired lately and haven't really had that much inspiration to write but here's part 5! Lemme know if you want on the taglist! this is probably the second to last part though;/

Warnings: fingering, p in v sex, riding, missionary, fluffy falling-in-love shit

Part 4

Taglist: @concretmatilda @xxdel-inkxx @lilhobgobbler

After the mini golf was over you went over to Noah's car and drove over to a cliff to watch the stars. Noah surprised you by bringing a mattress in the back of his car and some string lights, making it cozy for you. You laid in the back and looked at the stars, talking for hours, laughing and cuddling.

"Thank you for making me feel so special." You said as you snuggled closer to Noah, the cold of the night creeping up on you. He held you, kissing you on top of your head.

"You are special to me, of course I wanna treat you accordingly." He said simply and you smiled. You really had won the lottery with him. Tears were stinging your eyes, making them glossy. Noah smiled at you and his eyes softened.

"Are you crying again?" He asked and you softly hit his chest.

"Shut up." You said and he laughed. He pulled you closer, letting you hide in his chest.

"I'm sorry babe." He said softly and you sighed happily. You looked out into the sky, appreciating the absence of clouds, the stars in clear view. Neither you or Noah spoke for a while, enjoying the silence for a bit, and you got a little lost in your thoughts.

You reminisced on the time you met Noah.

"Thanks so much, have a great day!" You said in a fake cheerful voice. The customer you just served had not been nice enough to warrant that tone, but you were pretty sure you'd get fired if you did any different. You played with your lip ring as you looked out in the store, making sure everything was in order. You saw a few shirt were unfolded so you went to fold them again.

As you finished folding you felt a presence behind you.

"Excuse me do you have this in a size large?" the person asked and you turned around, looking first at the guy, then at the shirt.

"I'm sorry sir someone just got the last one." You said, looking back at him. He had a surface piercing on his cheek and his hair was the stuff of emo dreams. You smiled at him. He was kinda cute.

"Oh okay. Do you have any other A Day To Remember stuff that you haven't stocked yet?" He asked shyly and you pretended to think about it. You knew you didn't, you had just restocked everything and you didn't remember any ADTR stuff. But he was cute, and you didn't wanna disappoint him, so you told him you would check. He followed you awkwardly until you got to the back room and you went into the break room, silently screaming. You were used to emos coming into your store, hell, it was a Hot Topic of course there's emos there's every day. But none of them were as cute as this guy and you wished you could shit ADTR merch just to make him smile. You went back out with a regrettable expression on your face.

"I'm sorry sir, everything is restocked and the sizes there are out there are the only ones we have I'm afraid. Are there any other bands you would be interested in?" You asked. You would normally never be this helpful, but this guy had you actually doing your job. It was annoying.

"I guess Bring Me The Horizon?" He asked, and your eyes lit up. He had the best taste in music, you realised.

"Yeah we just got some new shirts in, come take a look." You said, waving your hand to signal that he should follow you. He did, very closely even.

"So I like this one, definitely gonna get one as soon as my pay check comes in. But we also have older stuff over on that wall." You pointed to the left. He nodded, his eyes scanning the shirts in from of him and you looked at him. He was really cute you realised and you wanted desperately to keep talking to him, but knew that he was probably just another customer who would leave as soon as he got what he came for.

"The one you showed is pretty cool. Are you going to their show next month?" He asked, looking back at you with a small smile. You smiled back and nodded.

"Yeah, I begged my mom for weeks to get floor tickets so I can finally see them. They're my favourite band." You said and he smiled wider.

"Me too! Do you wanna go together? I mean..It's cool if you don't, you probably have other people to go with." He said, and you shook your head.

"No actually none of my friends managed to get tickets." You said and his eyes twinkled. You both went up to the till to have him pay.

"Oh okay cool. Could I like, get your number so we can meet up before? If you want?" He asked and you smiled impossibly wider.

"Yeah! 'Course!" And you pulled out your phone and handed it to him. He put in his number and called himself, hanging up and then handing it back to you.

"Great so I guess I'll see you soon. Thanks Y/N." He said, waving back at you.

"Yeah, can't wait!" You said as he left the store. You quickly saved his number and sent him a text.

Now that I think about it I never got your name lol xD

+15716776132

Haha, it's cool, my name is Noah

"You were so emo back then." You said, looking up at Noah. He grinned down at you.

"You're one to talk, you would buy leggings just to cut them up every day" He laughed and you giggled.

"It was the style!" You defended and he rolled onto his back and started laughing. You scooted closer to him and threw your leg over his hips, hugging him from the side. He looked down at you, still giggling.

"I love laughing with you." You said and he smiled, rubbing your cheek with his thumb as he held your jaw with his tattooed hand.

"I love making you laugh." He said as he looked at your lips, then back to your eyes. You blinked up at him as he leaned down, his lips ghosting yours. You grabbed him by then neck, slowly reaching forward to catch his lips, finally kissing him like you wanted to the entire night. You felt a warmth spreading in your body, one that made you feel utterly loved like never before.

Your lips moved against each other, no sense of urgency or haste. You were just there with Noah, holding each other as the time went by, your lips never disconnecting.

You soon needed air so you broke apart and looked at Noah like he put the stars in the sky. You never wanted to be without him, you realised. Little did you know, he was thinking the same thing.

"You wanna come back to mine?" Noah asked and you nodded, wiping away some of his hair from is face. You kissed his lips once, twice, three times before sitting up and putting your shoes back on. You got into the passenger seat as Noah got in the driver's seat. He started the car and you drove back to Noah's apartment.

When you got there, you got out of your side of the car before he could come open the door for you. You didn't miss the pout on his face, so you grabbed his hand and walked with him to the door of his place. He unlocked the door and immediately you both were met with yells from the living room.

"I'm sorry I didn't know there'd be anyone here." Noah said, and you smiled.

"It's okay, we can just go watch a movie in your room." You said and he smiled back at you, nodding.

"That's a great idea. You go get comfy, just put on any shirt you'd like in the dresser, I'll go get us some snacks." He said as he kissed your hand and you blushed, hurrying down the hallway to his room. You shut the door and went to find a shirt in Noah's dresser. You chose one of his Bad Omens merch shirt and you stripped down, placing your clothes neatly in his office chair, and putting on the shirt, which fit you like a dress. You got under the covers and turned on the TV, finding Disney+.

Noah entered the room with a tray filled with various snacks and beverages.

"Delivery!" Noah said and you laughed as he set it down on his nightstand. "Let me just get into something more comfortable." He said as he took off his shirt and pants and changed into a thin loose hoodie and some shorts. He got under the covers with you, getting really close to you and you blushed a little, feeling like a teenager again. The soft touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin, the not knowing what he was gonna do next. It was all so romantic and you wished this night would never end.

During the movie you had been quiet, not knowing what to say or do. You felt Noah's hand move as it edged closer to you when it suddenly touched the side of your ass and he pulled his hand back.

"What?" You had asked and he looked at you with a definite blush on his cheeks.

"I was going for your hand, didn't expect you to not be wearing pants." He said shyly and you laughed breathily.

"Well pants under the covers don't feel comfortable." You said simply, taking his hand and placing it on your bare thigh. "You can still touch me though."

He let out a slow sigh, his hand resting stiffly on your thigh. You moved closer to him, has hand then falling into the space between your thighs and you heard his breath hitch. You smirked, suddenly not very interested in the screen in front of you.

"You don't know what you do to me." Noah said lowly and you giggled.

"Show me then." You said and he turned towards you, grabbing your face and kissing you lips. It was immediately heated, but soon turned more relaxed. You wondered if he didn't want to do anything tonight, which would be fine, but he soon ran his hand along the waistband of your underwear, holding your hip and pulling you closer. You smiled against his lips, enjoying his hands roaming your body. You hummed as you leaned more against him.

"Love your body so much. So beautiful." He said as he kissed down you neck, then back on your lips. You pushed out your chest a bit more and straddled him, grinding down onto his semi hard cock. You pulled a moan from his lips and it only got you more horny for him.

"I want you so bad Noah." You said and he growled as he gripped your ass tighter in his hands, forcing your heat down onto him.

"I wanna give you everything. So beautiful, want you forever." Noah mumbled as he kissed down your neck. You felt chills run down your spine at his words, loving how he was worshipping you. His hands moved under the waistband of your underwear and pulled them down over your ass, a single finger picking up some of your wetness and smearing it all over your clit. You moaned at the feeling and suddenly you were impossibly impatient so you pulled your underwear down and off, and slid his shorts and underwear off him too.

He let you kiss him down his neck as he found a condom, hurrying it on his dick and giving it a few pumps.

"Wanna sit on my dick sweetheart? Hmm? Want me to fill you up?" He asked and you whined as you nodded, lifting yourself up. He rubbed the head of his cock along your slit and then pushing in, the feeling of him stretching your hole made you groan loudly and none of you seemed concerned with Noah's roommates. He grabbed a hold of you neck, just holding your neck and making you look at him.

"Such a good girl, taking my dick so well. Gonna make you feel so good baby." He said as you set the tempo, not wanting to have this over with too fast. He forced you to look him in the eyes as he slowly thrust into you. You whined out your moans, looking him in the eyes begging for him to go faster.

"Please baby...Fuck me." You said and he smiled. He guided your hips with one hand, making you remove yourself almost all of the way and then guiding you down onto him agonisingly slow. You whined and he got the message, speeding up his thrusts and you hugged him close, his hands grabbing your ass to hold you up as his pounded into you.

"Baby...Look at me." He said between breaths and you obeyed, looking into the dark pools in his eyes. He rested his nose on your, your breaths mingling and making you feel like one. You didn't know it now, but this is when you fell in love. This is when you were absolutely and irreversibly in love with Noah.

"F-feels so good Noah, god." You moaned and he smirked.

"Touch yourself. Make yourself cum baby, I love it when you touch yourself." Noah said and you blushed but complied, reaching a hand in between your bodies and rubbing your clit. Your moans and breaths quickened and Noah's smile widened.

"That's it baby, cum on my cock. Love it when your tight pussy squeezes me. Can barely hold it in myself when you do that." He said breathily and you smiled, resting your forehead on his shoulder to try and focus on your orgasm.

You felt it washing over you, the pleasure overwhelming as tears struck your eyes. You were so entranced in your orgasm you didn't even notice how loud you were being, but Noah didn't seem to mind. He himself was nearing his orgasm, so he grabbed your waist and rolled you over so he was on top. You paused him by placing a hand on the bottom of his neck and he looked at you with concern in his eyes.

"Use my cunt Noah." You said in an almost pleading way, your eyes big and still glistening from the tears and intensity of your orgasm. He held your cheek with one hand, the other on your hip and then started thrusting mercilessly into you until he came hard into the condom. You could feel the pulsing of his member inside you.

He collapsed on top of you and you rolled him off you, not being able to breathe. He smiled at you, almost dazed. You returned the smile, feeling absolutely satisfied.

"Fuck baby, you are really good at that." Noah said and you laughed. He lifted your shirt, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and sucked lightly on it before he got up.

"I'm gonna be right back, I really need to pee." He said and you laughed, watching his naked ass as he ran out to the en suite bathroom. You looked up into the ceiling, smiling to yourself. Soon Noah joined you again, and you rested on his chest, regaining your breath.

"Snacks?" You asked and he nodded so you sat up and brought the tray over to sit in the middle of you. You talked as you snacked, no topic to taboo or cringe or anything.

The movie's credits were playing on the screen, but neither you or Noah were much concerned with that. The tray of snacks was half empty and discarded to the edge of the bed, you were facing each other, yet sitting closely, talking about anything and everything and you felt so comfortable with him.

"So did I do good?" Noah asked and you smiled, as you nodded.

"Yeah, it was perfect." you said as you admired him. His hair tousled from your activities, his hoodie slightly askew and the sneak peak of skin from his thigh under the covers. He smiled at something you said and you couldn't stop looking at his lips.

You were so gone for this man, which scared you to death.

[theworldofotps]

Betrayed (Drabble)

Pairing: Damian Priest x Reader Word Count: 451 Pintrest Prompt: From the day we met, I knew I'd hurt you eventually.

Just wanted to pop a little prompt out for you and Pintrest has some really great ones. I hope you enjoy thanks for reading! Warning: Mentions of cheating. _________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic​ @writtingrose @99hook @sjwrites22​ @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter​ @wrestlersownmyheart​ @vebner37​ @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars​ @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234​ @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaanna @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _________  “From the day we met, I knew I would hurt you eventually.” The words Damian had said to you right before walking out of your apartment played in your head over and over again. That was almost a week ago and the pain still felt so fresh, the image of him carrying his suitcase full of stuff burned in your mind's eye. 

You didn’t know how things fell apart so quickly. One moment everything was going so perfectly, then the next he told you he had made a drunk mistake and slept with one of his old friends. ‘She didn’t mean anything, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just missed you so much baby and before I knew it I was waking up in my hotel room with her in the bed.’ He apologized over and over again but all you could hear were the words ‘I cheated’ bouncing around your head. A sort of numbness had set in where you managed the strength and told him to leave. You wanted to be left alone, given time to think, time to grieve by yourself. Damian tried getting you to reconsider but your mind was made up. Even if you did forgive him, for the rest of your lives the thought of him sleeping with that girl would always be in the back of your mind. 

So here you sat, a glass of your favorite drink in one hand, one of your favorite movies on mute and the silence of the apartment to keep you company. You shut your phone off after telling work and your family you were dealing with a nasty case of the flu. You didn’t want Damian to even attempt contacting you right now. Sure, he’d have to eventually come collect his things, but you couldn’t face him right now. Couldn’t really face anyone while your heart felt like it was broken in two.  Staring at the wall your eyes drifted over the pictures you and Damian had scattered about, your vision focusing on one in particular. It was shortly after the two of you had gotten together. You were pointing at the camera, your best friend stood behind it taking pictures. Damian’s sole focus was on you a smile gracing his features, he looked like he was in love. Like nothing else in the world mattered than the fact he had his arms around you. 

That was nearly three years ago and yet here you sat alone in your apartment, crying your heart out over a man who knew from the very start. That he was going to eventually hurt you one day, you just had no clue it was going to be this badly.

[itcanbegoodagain]

Pregnancy Cravings

Word Count: 1288

Rating: N/A

Inspired by this video.

"There's no rules, baby," Peeta says softly, the corner of his lip quirking up in amusement at my frustration. "Do what your instinct tells you to."

I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. Then, carefully, I dip the brush into the light pink I made, swirling together white and red. I bring it to the canvas and begin to fill in the gentle lines Peeta drew for me. I start at the edges of the petals, bringing the color down in quick strokes. I've learned that if I think too much about how I move the brush, the more I mess up.

A few minutes of silence pass by before Peeta murmurs that I'm doing well, and the primroses look beautiful. I smile, not taking my eyes off the painting in front of me. "Eyes on your own work, Mellark."

He laughs next to me, and I hear him shift before putting his palette down. He holds my head steady, pressing a kiss to the side of it. "What can I get you to eat? I'm going to the kitchen."

"I'm okay," I reply.

"Yeah, sure, the noises coming from your stomach totally mean you're not hungry," he says with an eye roll I can hear.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, clearly admitting he's right. "Do we have any leftover cinnamon rolls from yesterday? I could probably eat a whole baker's dozen in three seconds."

"Lemme check." Then he's out the door, taking the warmth of his hands on my head with him.

Cabinets open, then he yells back. "No cinnamon rolls."

Immediately, tears spring into my eyes. They blur my vision slightly, but I focus on the flowers and holding the brush correctly. Slowly, one drips down my face. Down the drain that hope goes.

He walks back into the room, holding a small plate of date bread he made today. "I brought the bread from this morning to hold you over until-" he breaks off. Peeta sets the plate down with a quiet sigh. He nears, frees my hands, then kneels in front of me. He holds my hands to his chest and looks up at me. "What's up, Katniss?"

I sniff, feeling ridiculous, and say, "I just... cinnamon rolls sound really good right now. I wasn't lying when I said I could eat a lot of them."

He laughs quietly. "I know -- you can always eat a lot, even when there isn't a baby asking for more." He brings my hand to his lips for a kiss. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you make some?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't have everything here," he says, protesting when my face breaks again. "But hey, hey, there is some dough at the bakery that I've had proving since last night. I can go get it and make you some fresh rolls in less than an hour."

"No, Peeta, I don't want you to go all the way there for me."

He smiles, shaking his head a little. "What, like that's the most taxing thing I've ever done for you?"

"Peeta, I'm serious," I cry.

He pulls me into a hug. "Me too, Katniss, okay? I love you and our baby you're carrying, and if you both want some cinnamon rolls, who am I to deny you?"

I brush my hands over my face, wiping away the tears. I look at him, and my heart feels so close to bursting it's hard to breathe. "Are you sure?" I ask quietly.

"There is nothing else I want to do right now," he replies. My stomach does a little flip at his words.

"Okay," I whisper. "Thank you."

He grins at me, leaning forward to press a kiss to my lips. I hold him there for a moment, relishing in his warmth and comfort and love.

"I'll be back soon. Get comfy, or keep painting, and there will be cinnamon rolls before you know it." He presses one more kiss to my lips before walking to the doorway. Once there, he pauses for a moment, leaning against the doorway to watch me compose myself. When I start painting again, he taps the wood with his hand a couple times and he's gone.

--

I'm in the living room when I hear the timer go off for the oven. I'm curled up on the couch with a blanket, stroking Buttercup's fur.

Soon, Peeta exits the kitchen with a large plate in hand, a knife and napkins in the other. He sits beside me, setting the plate on the small table before us. "There, fresh and warm. All for you," he tells me, laying an arm across the back of the couch.

I reach forward and grab one with my fingers, ignoring the knife completely. As I bring it close, I get a close whiff of its smell, and my stomach turns. My mouth closes, my face turning away from it and Peeta.

"Katniss?" he asks. "What is it?"

I break down into tears again, putting the roll back on the plate. I cover my face, getting a little bit of frosting on my forehead with the movement.

I cry and laugh simultaneously, not believing the state I'm in right now. This is absolutely stupid. "I..." I begin. I feel his hands on my back, rubbing soothing circles, and I cry harder.

"Katniss," Peeta says again, real concern pushing through.

I drop my hands and look at him, tears running down my cheeks. "I know I said that cinnamon rolls sounded good, but... But they don't anymore. And you went all the way to the bakery to get the dough and make them for me, and I don't even want them anymore, and I'm so picky and ungrateful-"

"Woah, hey," he says, cutting me off. "First of all, you are not picky. You would eat food off the floor. Second, you are not ungrateful, Katniss, okay?" His hands move to my face, brushing away the hair there so he can get a good look at my tear-stained cheeks. "You thank me all the time even though you don't need to. We're married, so you never have to feel bad or thank me for taking care of you. It's the pride of my life."

Without conscious thought, I crawl into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms circle me, pulling me close. Slowly, he rocks us back and forth, and my slight hiccuping sobs grow smaller before they fade away entirely. He presses kisses to the side of my head the whole time, whispering little things about his love for me in my ear.

"Okay?" he asks, minutes later.

I take in a shaky breath. "I'm okay," I tell him quietly. "And I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," he replies. "You're doing something incredible, giving over your body for months for something we both get to enjoy for the rest of our lives. I don't have to feel what you do. I want to take care of you, no matter what that looks like."

He pulls my head from his neck. "I love you, Katniss, and the baby you're growing in your stomach. If I wasn't in it for the ups and downs, for the long haul, I wouldn't have married you. But I am, so I did."

"I love you, too," I say, leaning forward to kiss him. It's a little snotty, a little teary, but that's okay. "You make me feel so safe. I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

Peeta hugs me close for a few minutes more. "Katniss," he says quietly, "I can literally feel your stomach growling. What sounds good?"

[ibims1seb]

The silent treatment

TW: panic attack, implied past trauma, not described bad memories, a hell lot of comfort

Whumpee had always had these episodes. Times, where anything and everything was just… too much, and their body shut down completely to leave nothing but a shaking mess for the outside world to see. They’d usually just stay in their room and wait out until they could do something again. And usually, no one cared about that. Well, at least, no one came to check if they were ok or to ask, why they were staying here.

Today, the memories came a lot sooner. It was normally around the evening, when they were tired and couldn’t control their emotions. But today, it was in the late morning hours.

They were sitting at the edge of the bed, knees slightly apart so that their elbows could sit on them comfortably and their head was resting in their hands, prompting them to stare into the abyss of painful memories. Their entire body was trembling while they let the waves wash over them again and again and again.

They were so consumed by the flashbacks that they didn’t even hear the knocking. They didn’t notice the door open and only when Caretaker was crouched down right in front of their vision did Whumpee realise they were there in the first place.

The newcomer just looked up at them. They didn’t start a conversation, question what was going on, or told them that everything was okay. They were just there, and that was all they needed.

Without thinking, they leaned forward, closing their eyes and connecting their foreheads in a silent touch of comfort. The crouched figure just let that happen. The two sat in silence. A comfortable and gentle silence.

Usually, Whumpee wouldn’t cry during these episodes, but this wasn’t usual. And that was okay. So, they did nothing to stop the tears from spilling. They let it happen. And it actually felt good! It felt good to let the hidden emotions take their toll and let them wash over their body. It felt good to break down the dam.

After what felt like an hour, but was probably just some minutes, Caretaker spoke up with a soothing and gentle voice: “Is it ok if I touch you?”

They weren’t sure why they asked, but that didn’t matter right now. They nodded, first hesitantly, then with a little bit more enthusiasm. The other just smiled at that before moving his hands towards his shoulders, stopping to talk again.

“I’ll touch your shoulders now,” they warned, and with a grip as light as feathers, they guided Whumpee’s broken form towards the bed, laying them down completely. At first they didn’t realise what they were trying to do, but when they did, they happily complied.

When they were fully laying on their side, they could no longer help it. Through the tears, the sobs and the trembling they smiled at the other. It was the only way they could think to thank them.

Caretaker smiled as well, and that was the last thing they saw before their body, exhausted from the overwhelming feelings, slipped off into blissful sleep.

———

Wanted to do this with two of my Ocs, but my Oc stuff doesn’t get acknowledged as much as my other stuff so here is a prompt! Lemme know if you would like to see what I would have done with the Ocs :)

Masterlist

[emperor-palpaminty]

Peace, For Now

In which you (GN) and Echo discuss next steps. Takes place at the end of TBB. Sweet and fluff and a love confession on a beach??? Whaaaaat???

(also lemme know how you like the "you" vs third person reader inserts. I'm currently writing Cat and Mouse pt 4, so I'm trying to decide how I do that! I personally don't like "you" when i read, but if yall do I am flexible!)

The beach was a ways away from the middle of town, but you could still hear the sounds of celebration. Your toes dug into the sand, the gentle waves filling the holes they left behind. It was surreal. Your body felt empty and light, but also... tired.

You were done. For now.

Unanswered questions looped around your mind again. Sacrifices were made, and they could not be undone after the war. It was always hard to come to terms with, but somehow coming to terms with the end was harder, in ways. If your largest battle was finished, was it a gulp of fresh air or the finale of an aria?

What did you even know outside of war at this point? The breeze that tugged at your face promised a vague hint of hope, but...

"There you are."

You didn't bother turning all the way- you knew Echo's voice anywhere, even across a ship full of his brothers. You smiled, softer than you felt. "I needed a breather."

"I could tell." There was a soft scuff, shoe against a rock, and a soft thump that followed as Echo landed softly in the sand. "It's quieter over here, anyway." He padded over gently, moving meticulously. That was Echo as everyone knew him. Quiet and thoughtful, but brave, honorable, independent. Sassy when someone needed it, and he had a sense of humor that could appeal to everyone. Echo was loyal to a fault- dying once and then being willing to die again for the brothers that took him in.

He was legendary among clones. But he was just... Echo.

You finally cast him a glance, smiling when he met your gaze readily. After a shared moment, a pause, you chuckled and shook your head softly. "What are we, Echo?"

"What do you mean?"

You closed your eyes and tried to stead yourself. The waves were moving, lapping closer, but not quite reaching the two of you in the close moment. It was a welcome guest, but you were fine that it hadn't invaded the intimate space yet. You steeled yourself, blinking quietly as you fought off a prickle of tears at the corner of your eye. "All I've ever known- and all you've ever known, I would think- has been war. Fighting. Being soldiers." The shrug you gave was helpless.

The words hung in midair. They stayed for a while, the silence of them almost louder than the incoming tide or birds flying by. You blinked, a hand reaching up and touching your cheek to pull away with a wet tear. "Oh," You said, not quite realizing you had been crying.

Echo reached out quickly. He touched your back, the human hand landing on you. "Hey." He said. "There's no rush."

"I know, but-"

"Fighting will always exist. You'll find something to fight for." He licked his lips, brows narrowing in determination. "Tomorrow."

Your lips drew into a smile. You nodded, faith falling into place. "Yeah," You muttered, as sound returned to the world. "Tomorrow."

[sagetheenbymage]

What if you did the classic “Had a nightmare and got in bed with caretaker” with Katniss and Haymitch? Cause- ya know- Katniss??

THIS TOOK SIX MONTHS BUT I GOTCHU

Nightmares

Haymitch often stayed up late, often nursing a beer, often only sleeping for a couple hours. He was just about to open his second beer of the night while resting on his couch, when he heard a knock on his door. He sighed, setting his unopened drink to the side. Who the hell was up this late?

“Can I help you?” Haymitch mumbled tiredly, running a hand down his face, not even bothering to look at who it was. There was silence for a bit, until he heard their breath hitch and stutter and looked up. Katniss. Shit.

“Haymitch,” Katniss eventually whispered tearfully. She was soaked, she’d likely walked through victors village to his place in nothing but her pajamas. Her eyes were puffy and red from her crying, and she was shaking like a leaf. Not to mention she was obviously Little, her fingers hooked onto her bottom lip.

“Sweet girl, hey,” Haymitch greeted softly. “What’s going on? Here, come in, kid.” He gently tugs her inside when she doesn’t make any move to come in herself. He quickly shuts the door behind her to stop any more rain or chill to come inside. “I’ll grab you a towel, here.”

When Haymitch tried to walk away slowly to grab a towel from the washroom, Katniss looks like she’s gonna start crying all over again, and clings onto his arm with a strength that's slightly bruising, "No."

He pauses, "Hey, okay. I hear you, kiddo. I'm not going anywhere without you. Shh," he tries to soothe her gently, pulling away his arm to scratch her head. "What happened? Couldn't sleep?"

She nodded, her chest tightening, "Couldn't- had-," she trailed off. "The games," she explained eventually. Ah. That tracks. He continued to scratch at her head.

"I know, sweet girl," Haymitch hums. "I get them too, they suck," he gives her a sad smile, bringing down his hand and thumbing away her tears. "You did what you had to do, honey."

She eventually nodded, still looking unsure. "Let's get you dried off, okay? Then we'll get you back to bed, sweetheart," he explained patiently, leading her to the washroom and grabbing a towel.

He made quick work of drying off her hair the best he could, not bothering to brush out her tangles. He really didn't want her to cry anymore tonight. "You bring a change of clothes, kiddo?" Katniss shook her head and Haymitch bit back a sigh, wasn't her fault. She was pretty little, of course she wouldn't have remembered something like that. "Okay, that's fine, kid. I have extra clothes."

he quickly grabbed her a hoodie of his and some sweatpants, handing them to her gently, “You want me to leave the room?” He questioned, not all that surprised when she quickly shakes her head. “No, alright, I’ll just turn around then, kid. Lemme know if you need help.”

She made decently quick work of getting changed, which Haymitch was pretty impressed by. “You all done? Ready to head to bed now, sweet girl?” He questioned gently.

She shook hehead scrunching up her nose, “No!” Haymitch frowned, he really should’ve expected that. Of course she wouldn’t wanna go to bed after a nightmare.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he whispers. “I get it, but you have to get to sleep. Can we problem solve here?” Katniss shrugged, sniffling loudly. Haymitch paused to think about how to get the fussy little to sleep. “Would it help if I just walked around with you for a bit maybe?”

Katniss scrunches up her nose, “Don’t wanna walk,” she protested and Haymitch shook his head.

“I didn’t mean that you’d have to walk around. I meant that I’d carry you, kid, walk around for a bit to calm you down, that sound good?” Katniss eventually nodded hesitantly, reaching her hands out for him to pick her up. “Good girl.” He praised softly as he picked her up.

It didn’t take very long, with the gentle rocking, for Katniss to fall asleep in his arms, “Night, sweet girl,” he whispered, kissing her hair. “Sleep well this time.”

[cerseis-fav-maiden]

A/N: I’m feelin some angst comfort today soooo I’m gonna write this tho no one asked for it lol

Oh ok….going home?

Melissa Schemmenti x FemReader

(Not my gif)

You and Melissa had been dating for about 5 months now but this was your first Valentines with her you were so excited you were gonna take flowers to her at Abbott and some pasta you made…plus you decorated the whole house…she always loved that you enjoyed cooking as well you get all dolled up and get onto your car heading to Abbott then you text her about your arrival because she hates surprises and she has a new kid who’s really rowdy so she’s most likely stressed

You: Hey mel I brought you lunch I’m almost there your in the kitchen right?

🩵mel🩵 : I am.

You: okie!!

You begin to think you shouldn’t have done this by her response..but to late now your already flowers in your purse and pasta in hand… you walk in immediately greeted by Barbara who adores you “awe you brought her food on Valentines how sweet y/n!” Melissa sits grading not even acknowledging your presence you really thought she’d be excited…you slowly walk over “hi mel…” you say timidly putting the Tupperware of food next to her on the table “hm?” She responds “oh thanks you gonna go home now? Cause I have my hands full right now and I don’t need you here right now” You’ve always been sensitive but that really hurt you you being to tear up “um yeah sorry to bother you” you practically run out of the room as soon as the door shuts behind you everyone’s eyes turn to Melissa

Then out of silence barb says “Melissa Schemmenti what in gods name is wrong with you?!” Melissa scoffs “nothing? Just busy why?” Barbs turn to scoff “PLEASE LIKE YOU DIDNT JUST ENTIRELY DISMISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHO DID SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU ON VALENTINES?!?” Melissa starts to think and goes “oh please I’m sure she’s fine” barb laughs “ok lemme call her” she calls me I answer clearly stuffy nose and wobbly voice “what’s up barb?” “Are you ok hunny?” “Sure, yeah it’s fine maybe she just didn’t want to talk to me on Valentines I get it it’s ok” I say crying again Mel tears up and signals for barb to hang up “ok well I’m taking her class for the rest of the day and she’s coming to you” Mel is quick out the door and in her car…

You meanwhile are at your shared home sobbing on the couch flowers on the floor in front of you you hear a car pull up and panic you don’t want her to be even more mad so you run and lock your self in the bathroom she comes in seeing all the decorations and she feels so horrible “where you at sweet girl!?” She yells into the house walking down the hall hearing you in the bathroom she stop’s outside the door “hun?” You choke out a response “yes? Are you ok?” She sighs “come out here please I’m sorry” you cry a bit “your not mad?” She tears up “no hun I’m not I promise I’ll explain I just want to hold you please I’m so sorry” you stand opening the door standing there shyly tear stained face and say “hi” she chuckles sympathetically “hi pretty girl” she reaches out but doesn’t hug you yet asking silent permission in which you nod she repeats over and over while hugging you “I’m sorry I’m so sorry” you pull away walking to the living room picking up the flowers and half heartily handing them to her she takes them “thank you baby” I smile lightly “um I hope you liked the pasta there’s more in the fridge” she tuts at you “nu uh dearie we are talking about this you can’t just let people hurt you hun” i sigh “I know Mel I just can we change into pj’s and lay on the couch first” she smiles brightly “anything you want darling”

We both change and I beat her to the couch she quickly follows pulling me into her lap “ok love I’m sorry I know I’ve said that a lot I snapped at you over stress at work something I should never do none the less on Valentines” I nod accepting her apology burying my head into her neck “ok so wanna bake together after a well deserved nap?” she asks trying to cheer you up “yes Mel that sounds perfect thank you!” You forgive her understanding her reasoning and the rest of the day is perfect…