#let's get this party (re)started my dudes

[zyonsay]

Wildfire, Chapter Two MV1

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: You almost scored a win, but Max wouldn't let that happen. The McLaren boys want to take your mind off of things!

Warnings: Swearing, Max is a bit of an asshole,Reader has anger issues, Slight Violence, Alcohol, Ki ki ki rah sweat sweat

Now playing: 'Monaco' by Bad Bunny

AN: This was a STRAIN! School is beating my ass recently and it's really difficult for me to get anything done BUT i really want to write this fic!

(Here is the previous chapter)

(Here is the next chapter)

The race season was in full swing, and you’d been doing well. Max had, as per usual, always taken the victory, but most of the time you were on the podium next to him. You were a great new asset to Red bull, and many of the fans seemed to like you. You started discovering more and more memes about you on Instagram and Twitter that would make you chuckle. (Or X? Man idk)

People saw you as a two-sided coin, since your charismatic, silly moments were accompanied by boiling, blood red rage when something messes up the race. Numerous fans compared you to Max when he first entered F1, calling you a “Smaller version of Mad Max.”

You guys’ interactions felt like witnessing two proud stags smash their antlers against each other. No full-on fights have ensued yet, but the tense feeling between you two can be felt by everyone from miles away. It was like the calm before a storm, electric energy surging through the air, waiting to strike when things get any more heated.

Your sassy, provocative nature could bring his blood to a boil easily, often causing him to glare at you from far away or leave some snarky remarks while passing by. This dynamic wasn’t optimal for Redbull, having two drivers who clash off the grid might also clash on the grid. As long as the situation wouldn’t get worse, they’d let you two entertain the fans bit more, but Christian kept a close eye on both you and Max.

Usually your bickering was harmless,

But today you could’ve strangled him right then and there in the paddock after the race. Luckily Horner got a hold of you and dragged you away, you felt like an angry dog being put on a chain outside the house by its owner.

What happened a few minutes before angered you deeply. Max profoundly refused to let you pass him, even if you had to brake to not crash into the rear end of his car. You could’ve had the first place if it weren’t for him blocking your way. Saying you were enraged was a pathetic understatement. You were steaming with rage and wanted to smash his head against a wall.

You, Lando and Oscar were strolling towards an Ice cream truck that Oscar had found on google maps. The race weekend was over but many of the drivers decided to stay a bit longer in the beautiful city. Tough it was extremely hot, which was the reason why Oscar and Lando wanted to go for Ice cream, what they didn’t tell you tough is that they wanted to distract you from your conflict with Max.

After paying for your Ice cream, you three made your way to a bench, sitting down and enjoying your refreshments. You chose pistachio ice cream, savoring the sweet, nutty taste. “Have y’all heard about the party tonight?” Lando glanced at the buildings nearby, enjoying the fancy exterior, thinking about snapping a pic for his .jpg account. “I mean, we all know that there will be one, but I didn’t catch any specifics.” Lando now looked at you and Oscar. “Danny told me about it, it’s in the grand Casino at eleven O’ Clock. I really want to go, but I wanted to drag you both with me. Are y’all coming?” He mustered up his best puppy eyes and began pouting. A hearty laugh escaped you, almost causing you to drop your ice cream. “Sure dude! I can’t wait to have some fun.” Oscar grinned, agreeing with what you said. You guys spent some more time shopping and checking out some must-see sights of the city. Lando bought Oscar a little Koala plushie with sunglasses calling it "Oscahs Doppelgänger.” You really liked hanging out with the two McLaren boys, spending time with them meant lots of joking and messing around.

“Hurry the fuck up Y/N, its almost eleven!” Landos voice rang over his obnoxious banging on the door. You rolled your eyes and checked your outfit one more time in the mirror before heading out. You were greeted with a friendly smile from Oscar and Lando who looks like he’ll bounce around the walls like a gummy ball. He could’ve well exploded on the spot with excitement. He and Piastri were both a tiny bit older than you, but Lando was still a kid at heart.

Lando, Oscar and you walked through the city, heading straight for the big, fancy Casino. Even from far away you spotted a familiar, smiley face. “Oi! Danny!” You waved at him, gaining his attention. He was smiling broadly as usual, walking up to your little group. “Hey guys! Looks like Lando managed to drag you along, eh?” He was obviously wearing one of his flash banging party shirts, it wouldn’t be Daniel Ricciardo if he wasn’t wearing something obnoxious, right?

The four of you chitchatted for a while, when Oscar asked: “Were you waiting for someone?” Daniel looked down at his wristwatch; it was already five past eleven. “I was actually. Me and Max wanted to meet up at eleven. Don’t know where he is, maybe he already went inside.” He shrugged, glancing you way as he noticed you tensing up at the sound of the Dutchman’s name. You definitely haven’t forgotten the race earlier that day. The guys stayed quiet for a few moments as the chilly night air blew around your legs, contrasting with the warm weather during the day. Lando was the first to break the silence. “Can we finally go in?”

Once you entered the gigantic building, colorful lights and the smell of overly expensive alcohol flooded your senses. A few familiar faces were dancing, drinking, and laughing, but there were also many you didn’t know. Daniel led the group towards the bar, buying you all a round of shots. “Gotta start the night the right way!”, he laughed before downing the burning liquid. The vodka fueled the sparks in your guts and turned them into a fire. You were going to have fun tonight.

Suddenly a loud voice appeared behind you. “Hey Danny!” You froze for a second before turning around and facing the man you’ve been wanting to murder since this morning. “Oi, Max! Thought I’d never see you!” Daniel abandoned the bar stool to pat Max on the back. Oscar, who was sitting next to you, turned in your direction and whispered. “We don’t have to hang around with him. Let’s just leave- “, you interrupted him, “No. Its ok.” You were too busy glaring at Max to notice Oscars worried expression, not that he thought you’d attack Verstappen out of nowhere, but he was concerned that a teasing comment from Max was enough for you to snap. As he later would find out, it was.

Max didn’t pay any attention to you, obviously not feeling as irritated as you were. The casino was warm from the sheer number of people inside, the loud music mixed with laughing and chatting. Daniel was going on about some experience he had the day before while exploring the city. You were halfheartedly listening to your friends rambling while you were observing your friends’ mimics. Your eyes landed on your fellow Redbull driver. He was listening carefully, asking a question every now and then. He then glanced at you quickly, catching you looking at him. Max then quickly looked away again.

After a while, Lando pulled you away from the bar and towards the dance floor. He was definitely drunk by now and was all giggly and happy. “C’monnnn, dance with me!”, Lando slurred.

It must’ve already been a few hours since you arrived at the Casino, but time flew by so fast. Oscar stated that he was getting tired and wanted to go home in the next hour or so, while Lando was as lively as ever and could go the whole night. You agreed with Oscar though, since you were tired and had an appointed Press conference for tomorrow. Daniel and Max wanted to stay a little longer but agreed to accompany you outside to say goodbye. Once outside, a cold shiver ran down your spine. The city was illuminated by bright lights and a howling wind was brushing through its streets. Daniel stopped, facing the rest of the group.

“We definitely gotta go out together more often!” Lando nodded enthusiastically, glancing your way as if inviting you to go out with him more often.

“Yeah, once Y/N doesn’t hold a grudge against me, I saw those glares.” Max laughed, but you couldn’t help but judgingly glance at him. His face was red and his posture a bit wobbly.

“You’re the one complaining about me during Interviews.” The venom in your voice was very apparent, you made no effort to hide your disdain. Max looked hesitant for a second before his expression hardened. Daniel seemed to feel awkward, not exactly knowing how to deal with you two firecrackers. Max focused his eyes on your face, not wincing under your glare. “And you were the one crying around about me winning this morning?”, he laughed again, seeking eye contact with the others as if to justify his words. The McLarens Aussie next to you looked deeply worried, as If he already suspected what happened next.

The blood in your veins began boiling, you could literally feel it. A heavy push from your side caused Max to stumble back. “Don’t fucking go there you dick. You just couldn’t handle me winning, right?” Your fellow Redbull driver was now shaken awake, glaring at you with a bitter look on his face. “Don’t get mad at me because you lost, fucking Dickhead.”

You were SO ready to ruin his stupid face with a good punch.

…but before you could actually get violent a certain Honey badger stepped in. “Lads, calm your tits! I think it’s best if we all go to our hotel rooms now.” Oscar was holding you back, worrying what would happen if he’d let go of the raging man in his arms. The other McLaren boy was standing next to you guys, unsure what to do. Daniel gave Max a heavy pat on the shoulder and gave him a serious look. “Let’s go get some sleep, buddy.” Max’s eyes never left yours, like a hunter stalking its prey.

But you won’t budge under him.

[scarletwinterxx]

i was enchanted to meet you - jeno

hiiiiii - 7llin with dream got me writting again🥺 Jeno's just soooo cute in that content, my heart is so weak for him. Enjoyyyyyy

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Pst"

You look over beside you, coming face to face with Jeno

"What?"

"Why are you glaring at the screen like that?" he asks, he's been watching you stare at your laptop screen like that for a few minutes before deciding to ask you. That made you relax your face "I was squinting, I forgot my glasses in my other bag so I can't really see anythi-"

Your sentence got cut off when you see Jeno take something out of his bag, "Knew you'd forget it"

You take it from him, quickly putting your glasses on. Immediately everything becomes clearer

"That's so much better, thanks Jen" you smile at him which he gladly returns

Jeno has become some sort of human reminder for you. He's always there whenever you forget something, from your glasses to your keys to your appointments you sometimes forget.

He sometimes teases and nags you about it but secretly he loves it. He likes how you need him, and he likes taking care of you. It's like second nature to him now.

You on the other hand is like Jeno's defender, he's an introvert and you have no problem dealing with everyone and everthing else. The two of you balance each other out.

"I can't find the salt we need, should we go to another store?" he asks you.

The two of you are getting groceries, one of your favorite activities to do together. It's very domestic, but even the most mundane activities excites you when you do it with him

"Did you ask someone, maybe they have some in the back or something" you tell him, putting some other things in the cart

When he didn't reply to you, you looked over at him seeing the small pout on. You already knew what that meant.

Walking towards him, you loop your arm with his pulling him to the other aisle "Do we need the salt, like really need it?" you ask

"We have salt at home, but the recipe said we need this one" he answer

"Salt is salt, let's just use the one at home" you tell him, resolving the mini dilemma of your introverted boyfriend.

You grab other necessities like ramen, bread, milk and cereals.

“Who puts ice in milk and cereals?” Jeno asks, watching you put the mlik in the cart

“I do, and don’t hate on it until you’ve tried it. I've been telling you for so long to give it a try”

“Sounds... disgusting"

“It’s just cold milk, dude” you tell him. The first time you told him you enjoyed your cereal in the morning with ice and milk, you thought he'd be weirded out but instead he just nodded and got you a glass of ice to put in your cereal.

From that moment on you knew he's the one for you.

The memory made you smile, looking over at Jeno before hugging him sideways.

"What?" he asks confused

"Nothing, just remember how you didn't say it was weird when we ate breakfast the first time. You even got me ice"

He chuckles, putting his arm over you to hold you by the waist. One hand on the shopping cart.

"Definitely left a lasting impression, I would say"

"Oh so me eating my cereal with ice left more of an impression than the night we met?" you ask jokingly

He smiles, then leans down towards you "I mean I'll never forget the night we met when you literally fell for you. Like landed right on my lap"

"It's been years, I told you Renjun pushed me"

"Mhm, love you too" he teases you

He remembers that night too, like it happened yesterday. The night started out like any other party he's been too, he was just lounging in the living room when all of a sudden someone lands on his lap.

That was the first time he met you.

You apologized over and over again, embarrassed out of your mind but Jeno being the gentleman that he is assured you it was okay. You thought that was the last you'll see of him but turns out it was the start of a beautiful relationship.

"Question, can I take this hoodie home with me?"

Jeno hears you from behind him, taking a quick look while the game loads to see you wearing one of his many hoodies.

One of many you claimed your own ever since you started dating. He wonders why you still ask until now when you always end up wearing it

"Take your pick" he says, "This is my pick for the week, also remind me to buy your fabric softener. I love this smell"

Jeno smiles at you, opening his arms inviting you in for a hug. You trudge towards him, letting his arms wrap around you. He pulls you on his lap, the gaming chair moves a bit before he turns it back towards his computer.

"You're going to play like this?" you ask him, your adorable boyfriend nods before giving your nose a peck

"You sure?" you ask again, instead of answering you with words he just hugs you even closer. Tucking you under his chin while you hear him type away on his keyboard

"Alright then, not gonna lie I can take a nap like this" you yawn, resting your head on the crook of his neck

"Go rest, baby. I'll hold you"

You smile at his words, feeling relaxed in his arms. Jeno knows you struggle sleeping. It gives him joy whenever he sees you asleep on his bed or on the couch in his dorm or most times on his lap whenever the two of you are cuddling.

It's like a super power only he has, you feel safe and comfortable with him your mind just forgets all the noise and finally get the rest it needs.

If you're being honest, you've probably slept more soundly on his bed with him than on your bed. The only time you can fall asleep easily on your bed is when he's with you.

After a few rounds, Jeno logs out and turns his computer off. Gently lifting you up in his embrace before walking towards the bed to lay you gently.

He goes out the room to check around the apartment before going back into bed with you. Plugging both of your phone on the charging dock before turning to face your sleeping figure, he can't help but admire you.

Even when you're asleep, you still amaze him. He's enchanted with you. Ever so gently he scoots over to cuddle you, tucking you in his arms like he's shielding you from the world before whispering a quick 'good night, i love you' in your ear.

[moldybonessmell]

Valorant agents age headcanons

There is the list of my headcanons for valo agents' age

Disclaimer: Realistically even 18 yo go to army but in my mind 18 yo are actual babies so in this tier the youngest are 21 yo

21-25

Gekko as the main gen z falls into the youngest tier, followed by Neon and Jett, the choice is pretty obvious ig

This might be controversial but Iso gives just as much of gen z energy as Gekko, the only difference is him adopting Stiles Stilinsky's personality growing up, this is how we end up with the sarcastic deadpan delivery guy (yes this one is relatable to the op aka me)

Deadlock in the group might be controversial but I think it's funny af if the serious suspitious woman ends up dragged into the least serious friend group in existence (I bet she would make friends with Iso lol)

26-30

Everyone thinks Sova is a serious adult-ass man and gets surprised when they realise he's gen z, he just has a scary accent and doesn't smile and people think he's older than he is (the russian unapprouchable and quiet nature doesn't help this either)

Sage struggles from the same desease called looking serious and being a mom friend but she's actually on the younger side of agents

You might argue Phoenix is younger, but he's the texbook example of the 26 yo dude who one day woke up and decided to be a DJ /affectionate No way the dude collecting shoes would have money for all that in his early 20s (even tho it's debatable)

Yoru might be older, but for a dude who spends his free time by fighting gangs he must be under 30. I know difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean he's young but it would make sense

Raze is fun and energetic but more on the party-person side than anything-for-a-trouble side so she's in this tier. She just gives off the energy of someone who was working in customer service for years and finally quit but still has her violent urges /joking

KJ gives off younger energy, but as someone known for her incredible tech abilities and robots she must be closer to 30. You can't tell me this woman didn't work in IT with tech-bros for several years just to realise she wants to kill people /joking unless

31-35

I kinda doubted myself on making Chamber 31 (as he's a famous weapon-maker but let's pretend he got successful pretty early) but he just gives off the energy of the guy who just entered his 30s but acts the same as when he was 20 (immaturity-vise)

Breach kinda falls into same category but for a completely different reason of being in prison (probably for a long time and probably for something he did in his early 20s) so he kinda stopped maturing after this

I can kinda imagine Harbour to experience similar stuff, knowing he used to make money by stealing and selling relics and there's no way he never got caught, right? Harbour and Breach could make good friends me thinks

Skye gives off energy of a woman who was working her entire youth non-stop and them turned her gaze back and she's already in her 30s and realised she doesn't know anything either about herself or what she even wants in life. I imagine this is why she's so concerned for environment. She started to get really into being eco-friendly after going through existential crisis and realising our planet is dying (I can also imagine her using re-usable stuff, wearing tote-bags and making effort to recycle as much as she can).

Astra just gives off energy of this one cool rich aunt who has no children and always brings presents to her nephews when visiting (and to be this aunt you usually need to be 30+ even tho it's optional ahaha)

No one knows Fade's real age and people kinda assume she's younger bc of her style, but she's at the age when she doesn't care what people would think and wears whatever she wants (tho she should take care of herself better, drinking this much coffee can only go without concequences when you're 20, girlie please get proper sleep)

36-40

People like to imagine Reyna as a young woman but in my mind she's on the older side. She just gives off the energy of someone going through hell and back in her life (I know she has a younger sister but siblings can in fact have big age differences) I also may or may not like older women but this one is between me and my ao3 history

Cypher is around 40 I think, simply because he used to have wife and a child and I imagine it's been some time since they passed. Tho probably no more than 10 years, as he still thinks about reviving them (the voiceline about him asking Sage if she can revive anybody), but not to the point of actually following through, as if he mostly healed, but not moved on completely

41-46

Is for Viper and Brim because they are way too tired of others' shit to be younger

If talking seriously, there's no way Brim is not pushing 50s as a literal commander, even tho his problems with electronics might be questionable even for this age group, but I don't see him being older

As for Viper, she as well as Reyna just gives off energy of someone who has seen some shit, also her being a scientist I can imagine it takes many many years to have such recearch it also may be or may not be same situation as with Reyna but this is not a crime

kinda immortal

Tier explains itself, these are agents whose age doesn't affect their mental state/maturity like Kayo and Omen

Even tho Omen used to be one of the agents and is probably in the same age group as them, if I had to guess he might be somewhere in 36-40 tier

Also Kayo is probably not even manufactured yet in this timeline, but I can't make "-25" tier ya know

This is it, thank you for reading, let me now if you have any thoughts about it!

[gerrystamour]

here i have found some peace of mind [chapter four]

Rated E | Steddie

[ FIRST ] [ PREVIOUS ]

The boys figure their nonsense out. I meant to say this in the last update, but I have bandcasted the band Green Lung as "Corroded Coffin" re: their sound and vibe? I have actually made a "setlist" as well! Also!! The transphobia introduced in chapter two is resolved in this chapter ;p CW: There is smut in this chapter! Phone sex to be specific!

[ READ ON AO3 ]

soon as the summer comes, i will step out of time

“Just call him,” Robin groaned, dragging her hands down her face dramatically.

“I can’t,” Steve insisted, picking at the muffin Robin gave him the moment he stepped into Dustin’s office.

It had been three days since Steve had watched the YouTube videos, and he was admittedly miserable.

That night, when it sunk in how Eddie felt for him, Steve had texted Robin, not wanting to interrupt her if she was busy with Nancy.

Steve [sent at 05:02]: u busy? Robbie [sent at 05:03]: dude, we’re getting ready for work. did u even sleep?

Steve hadn’t even realized how long he’d been on Corroded Coffin’s channel, and sure enough his alarm went off a few seconds later. Getting up, he shuffled out into the apartment and found Robin in the kitchen making a coffee.

“Robs,” Steve said, his voice a bit rough with lack of sleep.

Robin turned around and frowned worriedly. “Seriously, Dingus, did you even sleep?”

“Robs, I fucked up,” he said sadly, dropping onto one of the stools at the island and holding his head in his hands.

“Well, yeah, you didn’t sleep,” Robin said nervously, coming around the island to sit next to him.

“No, this,” Steve said, unlocking his phone to play the end of the video he last watched.

Robin blinked down at the phone when the video ended. “Oof,” Robin started slowly before looking at Steve. “I don’t think you fucked up.”

“Robin, did you watch the same video? He was so—and I was so mean!” Steve groaned, crossing his arms on the counter and dropping his head on top of them.

“Okay, listen, yeah you were a bitch, let’s just get that out there. That doesn’t mean you’ve fucked up. You just need to call him and listen to his apology, and then you can decide how you want to move forward,” Robin said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

And theoretically, it was. The ball was in his court when it came to making contact with Eddie again, Steve knew that much. Steve was still the hurt party, even if he had been wrong about Eddie’s intentions, and he told Eddie to lose his number.

If anyone was going to reach out, it would come down to Steve.

Except Steve had been mean, stubbornly mean, even. It was hard to come back from being that way, to admit he had been cruel and that he was wrong for it. It didn’t help matters that he was watching that video repeatedly to punish himself either.

So Steve was at a stalemate of his own creation, and he had finally worn Robin’s sympathy out.

Dustin groaned. “Can we please stop talking about this? You keep talking around in circles, you won’t tell me all the details for some stupid reason—”

“It’s confidential,” Steve said, smirking when Dustin gestured at Robin, offended.

“You told her!” he said.

“And she’s an adult. And also my roommate,” Steve replied and Dustin turned red.

“I’m an adult, too—”

“Okay! I’ve gotta get back to work,” Steve interrupted with a loud clap. “See you around, Dusty-buns—”

“Stop calling me that, man,” Dustin whined, and Steve just laughed as he left the storage room.

“Hey, Dingus, wait up,” Robin said as she hurried after him, grabbing the sleeve of Steve’s cardigan as they walked. “I’m serious, Steve, call him. If he’s even half as in love with you as he seems in that video, he’ll forgive you instantly. If he even held what you said against you.”

“It’s worse if he didn’t,” Steve grumbled and shrugged Robin off, waving as they went their separate ways in the lobby.

It was shaping up to be another long day of self-pity and Steve was resigned to it as he returned to his desk. It was just his luck that his phone would ring the second he settled into a proper sulk.

“Thank you for calling Chicago In-Terminal Events, this is Steve,” Steve greeted in the happiest voice he could muster as he glanced at his phone. He froze when he saw the phone number and realized he recognized it, even if he only saw it once.

“Hey, Steve,” Eddie said, his voice tentative and unsure.

“Mr. Munson,” Steve replied, his mind reeling with relief, even if he was defaulting to professionalism.

There was a silent pause before Eddie chuckled a bit. “Honestly didn’t think you’d pick up,” he confessed.

“I didn’t realize it was you calling,” Steve said, and he grimaced at how bitchy he was still sounding.

This is what he wanted. Steve wanted Eddie to call again, to reach back out, to try and apologize again so that Steve could actually listen and maybe even accept it. And what, he was just going to screw that up because he had committed to being mad about it?

“Okay, I deserve that—”

“No—”

“Steve, I get that I’ve got literally zero right to ask you for anything, but please just listen?” Eddie asked in a rush, and Steve closed his mouth.

“Go ahead,” Steve said after a moment, realizing belatedly that Eddie was waiting for him to give him the okay.

Eddie took a deep breath. “It wasn’t fair to you, and I should’ve come clean a hell of a lot sooner. I just… really liked talking to you, and I was afraid you’d stop talking to me if you knew,” he said, and Steve’s heart ached at how sad Eddie sounded. “But doing what I did took away your choice, and it was really selfish of me because I got to hide behind this extra fuckin’ layer of armor or whatever while you were being real.”

Steve couldn’t even argue that Eddie’s fear was unfounded. Had Eddie come clean at the beginning, he would’ve put an immediate stop to their conversations. He wasn’t really forbidden from speaking to the performers, but it wasn’t encouraged either. Also, Steve would have had no interest in talking to Eddie; he was the frontman of a metal band, and Steve almost exclusively listened to what was most popular at the moment. But that was before he had gotten to know Eddie, even if he hadn’t been truthful about who he was exactly.

As he was mulling those thoughts over, he realized that had Eddie cleared up the misunderstanding immediately, they wouldn’t have talked at all. Steve would never have known that Eddie even existed, really. It was a bit annoying to consider that Eddie had ultimately done the best thing by hiding behind a fake identity.

“I really like you Steve, and I really want to keep talking to you,” Eddie continued after a few moments of silence and Steve let a slow breath out through his nose.

“The only reason I was able to chat with you on company time was because I thought you were my client,” Steve said slowly as he picked up his pencil and jotted down Eddie’s number from the screen on his phone. “I can’t really justify talking to you that much now.”

“Then give me your number? Like your personal one and we’ll keep it off the clock,” Eddie said quickly, and Steve raised his eyebrow at that, even if his stomach fluttered at the request. Eddie seemed to realize what he did and quickly added, “please?”

“Hm,” Steve hummed thoughtfully, and he hoped it sounded as playful as he had intended it. “I’ll consider it. I have to go now.”

“Steve, I really am sorry,” Eddie said quickly, and Steve chuckled a bit.

“I know, and thanks. For apologizing, I mean,” Steve replied, and finally he was apparently able to drop the bitchy tone, as if the mean, hurt part of him was waiting for those two words to finally drop its guard. Eddie seemed to hear the change in his tone, sighing out a small laugh.

“I will apologize as much as you want,” Eddie breathed, and Steve chuckled.

“Goodbye, Eddie,” Steve said, his voice soft and quiet, and he hung the receiver up before Eddie could respond.

Steve smiled down at his phone as he typed out a quick text, but he didn’t send it immediately. It wasn’t entirely intentional, as he was called away from his desk because Tammy needed assistance with one of her clients up in the meeting rooms. When he finally had a chance to sit back down and unlock his phone, it was roughly an hour and a half later.

‘Hey it’s Steve,’ his text read, and Steve got back to his work. When his phone almost immediately vibrated, lighting up with the notification from Eddie, Steve’s stomach filled with butterflies.

His good mood was interrupted when his computer pinged, reminding him that he was at work. Putting away his phone, he saw an email in his inbox from the sales manager he hated. Steve didn’t want to open the email, not wanting to be misgendered for the first time in weeks, but the woman had marked the email as “urgent” so he couldn’t reasonably ignore it.

“What the fuck?!”

Steve jumped and looked over at Joyce’s office, eyes wide as she continued to rant with a truly creative use of expletives. It wasn’t uncommon for Joyce to cuss, far from it even, but she wasn’t known to go on a tirade for that long.

Suddenly, she appeared in the doorway of her office with her kindest smile on her face as she looked at Steve. “Steve, can I speak with you for a minute?” she asked, and dread settled in his gut.

‘Oh fuck, she knows about Eddie,’ he thought as he nodded and locked his computer.

When he sat down across from Joyce’s desk, she glanced at her monitor and made a disgusted sound before meeting his gaze. “Why is Carol calling you by that name, Steve?” she asked calmly, and Steve just blinked at her, his mouth dropping open.

“What?” he asked, brow furrowed.

“The email she just sent, she referred to you as your birth name and then your real name in parentheses to the client. Do you know why she’s doing that?” Joyce asked again, and when he just blinked at her, still confused. “Did you look at the email, Steve? She copied me in it, so that’s why I saw it.”

Steve grimaced. “I was… stalling opening it. I was feeling good and didn’t want to be misgendered. I know it’s marked urgent, so I wasn’t going to ignore it forever, I promise, just—”

“Steve, honey, slow down! I’m not mad at you, you’re not in trouble, I promise! Are you telling me this has been going on for a while?” Joyce asked, horrified.

Steve shrugged and looked away, his face hot with embarrassment. “A couple months, I think? She didn’t always do that, so I dunno,” he said quietly, shrugging again.

“Why didn’t you say anything? No, don’t answer that, that was worded terribly. Let me start over,” Joyce said, waving him off when he tried to interrupt. Taking a deep breath, Joyce started again, “I want you to feel like you can come to me when you’re having problems, Steve, and this is a huge problem.”

Steve swallowed thickly, a bit emotional at how fired up Joyce was about this without him bringing it up to her first. Realizing she was waiting for some kind of response, Steve nodded quickly and looked at his knees.

“Carol’s behaviour must be addressed, Steve. If you don’t want to talk to me about this, I can absolutely bring HR in on this. Just let me know what would make you most comfortable moving forward,” Joyce said gently before she quietly added, “And I’m sorry, Steve, for anything I’ve done that made you feel like you had to deal with this on your own.”

“You didn’t do anything, Joyce,” Steve said quickly, looking up to meet her eyes. “I just—I don’t think I can really explain how it feels, but I just—standing up for myself about this is scary. It’s—yeah, so far I’ve had a ton of support, but that’s all been because it’s been easy. What Carol’s doing…”

Steve trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck to stop himself from shrugging again.

“Is there anyone on the team you worry about siding with her if this becomes a problem?” Joyce asked and Steve quickly shook his head.

“It’s not like I think anyone’s secretly hating my guts, just… in my experience, people show where they actually stand the second I get firm about my name and pronouns,” Steve said carefully, staring at the ceiling. “I’d rather deal with the dysphoria than find out who only respects me when I’m not making a fuss.”

Joyce let out a slow breath and when Steve looked at her she had tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this, and I’m even more sorry that you feel that way. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with this now that I know she’s doing this. It’s up to you how involved you are.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“You can either file a formal complaint against her with HR, or I can take it to HR and file the complaint myself as your manager,” Joyce said, holding her hands out on the desk between them. “I can make it about how I feel about my employee being discriminated against like this.”

Steve considered the options, and he was tempted to let Joyce file the complaint. At the same time, he knew Joyce had his back, even without him asking, and that alone felt like enough to deal with whatever fall-out came of this.

Shaking his head, Steve said, “I’ll file the complaint.”

Joyce tilted her head with a soft smile. “Only if you want to, Steve. I don’t expect you to, and this isn’t a test,” she insisted, and Steve laughed a bit at that.

“I know, Joyce. Just—I’ll file the complaint,” Steve replied. “How do we actually do this?”

“We’ll take this to HR, and they’ll help us with the next step. Since this is a sensitive subject regarding discrimination in the workplace, they will likely take over completely and work with Carol’s HR department to do an investigation,” Joyce answered, taking a deep breath. “Can you forward me every email you’ve received from her that you still have?”

“Yeah, of course,” Steve agreed.

“And can you also forward me any emails you’ve sent to her with your signature attached?” Joyce asked, pulling up a blank email on her screen, starting the message to HR.

“Yep, absolutely,” Steve said, nodding quickly. At that, Joyce turned in her chair to face him fully.

“Steve, I really want you to know that I’m in your corner, no matter what. I will deal with anyone—and I mean anyone—who treats you poorly,” she said, her voice deathly serious before she turned back to the computer. Then her face scrunched up as she asked, “You know what’s stupid?”

“What?” Steve asked with a startled laugh.

“She has her goddamned pronouns in her signature, and she can’t get yours right?” Joyce said and Steve laughed.

“Right? I thought I was having a stroke when she first deadnamed me and I noticed those,” Steve joked, and Joyce made a disgusted sound.

“And right at the start of Pride Month, too? The CEO just sent out an email about inclusion, especially around trans rights, and she sends this?” Joyce ranted before shaking her head and then shaking out her hands. “Okay, I need to calm down before I send this email. You want a coffee, Steve? Let’s go grab a coffee.”

Just like that, Joyce was jumping up and grabbing her blazer and wallet. Steve barely had time to react before she gestured impatiently.

“C’mon, Steve, let’s go,” she insisted, and Steve jumped up with a laugh, following her out of the office.

❖

When Steve got home, he forced himself to get changed and make himself dinner before he picked up his phone and responded to literally any of the texts Eddie had sent. Yes, there had been multiple over the day, though Steve could tell from the previews he saw when he glanced at his phone that they were largely just stream-of-thought type messages. None of them were demanding his attention immediately.

It was cute, surprising even.

Finally, Steve settled on his bed and opened the texts from Eddie.

Munson [sent at 13:41]: hi❗❗❗ ur off at 5, right? 😁😁😁 Munson [sent at 14:01]: u have to see this ✨✨ugly✨✨ ass bug i just found❗❗❗ Munson [sent at 14:01]: wait r bug pics okay 😬 i'll wait til u tell me before i send it😋😋😋🐜🐜 Munson [sent at 15:46]: gonna be playing tonight 🎸🎸🕺🏻 but w timezones and shit we should still be at the hotel when u get home 😋 Munson [sent at 17:00]: lmk if i can call u 👉🏻👈🏻 txting is fine too tho❗❗❗ just like hearing u 😚

Steve grinned at the messages, especially the liberal usage of emojis. It was honestly adorable, especially imagining a man who looked like Eddie Munson punctuating every sentence with at least one emoji. The last message made his heart give a fluttery little squeeze, especially when he noticed it was sent around the time Steve was clocking out.

Steve [sent at 18:21]: hey, home now, u can call whenever. I’ll be up for a few more hours probably Steve [sent at 18:22]: bug pics are fine, btw

It took about five minutes for Steve’s phone to start vibrating with the incoming call.

“Hey,” Steve greeted, just to be met with raucous laughter and the wailing of his name from the other band members. There was even a voice that sounded suspiciously like Chrissy in the mix.

“You’re a bunch of embarrassing fucking animals!” Eddie was barking at them, and by the way their laughter got suddenly quieter with a click, Steve could guess they had been hanging out in one hotel room. “Sorry about that,” Eddie said into the phone, his voice quiet and nervous.

“It’s all good,” Steve said, blushing deeply at actually hearing that dumb bit live.

“They’re so dumb. I swear, the moment they start dating anyone outside the band I’m gonna be ruthless,” Eddie promised grumpily, but it was punctuated with a chuckle. “Anyway, how was work?”

Steve’s heart squeezed again, overwhelmed by the question in a way that was beyond stupid. It was small talk at best and taking it as what, domesticity? Just setting himself up for heartbreak later.

“Work was work. Getting into the summer here, so tours and entertainment groups are picking back up and it’s getting pretty busy,” Steve responded, shrugging a shoulder despite Eddie not being able to see him. Then he said, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Eddie immediately replied, and Steve could hear the sound of a door shutting. Steve assumed that meant Eddie was now in his own hotel room.

“Why did you actually lie? Like, assuming I would stop talking to you aside like… why was it so important that I kept talking to you?” he asked, frowning a bit. “You didn’t really know me for the first few calls, so I just… don’t think it started with your feelings about me.”

Eddie let out a huff of laughter followed by a small oof as the phone was jostled a bit. “You’re so fuckin’ smart, Stevie, it’s scary sometimes,” Eddie muttered, and Steve blushed.

“Not a whole lot of people would agree with that,” Steve teased, and Eddie made a disgusted noise.

“Those people are just lying to themselves,” he said firmly before sighing. “I haven’t had like… a real conversation with someone in, like, forever. Since we started proper touring as openers and stuff. The only people I could talk to about things were the boys, Chrissy, and my uncle.”

Steve frowned at that but didn’t interrupt, even when Eddie paused for several seconds.

“When you called it was nice to not be Eddie Munson Of Corroded Coffin, and when I flirted with you, you—it was just nice. The way you reacted when I flirted,” Eddie said, his voice quiet. “It made me feel like I was a normal guy.”

“What—I don’t even remember how I reacted the first time,” Steve said, trying to recall that conversation two months ago.

“It wasn’t just the first time; it was every time. Like you would get shy and then give it back as good as you got, y’know? I’m used to flirting with people and them just…” Eddie trailed off, groaning. “I hate how this sounds out loud, but people normally just… throw themselves at me. Like, if I’m giving them attention, they need to get in my pants immediately, as if getting to know them at all is off the table. Like they think I won’t want to spend time with them if I actually knew them.”

“Sounds really lonely,” Steve confessed, his heart aching for Eddie and a new wave of guilt washed over Steve about the ‘groupie’ comment.

“I’ve got the boys and Chrissy, plus my uncle back home,” Eddie deflected, and Steve let him have that space.

“I’m sorry, too. For the groupie thing,” Steve said instead of pushing it, and Eddie laughed.

“Hey, it’s fine—”

“No, it’s not. That was—I was hurt, and sometimes when I’m hurt I get mean,” Steve insisted firmly, talking over Eddie. “It’s something I’ve been working on, and you can’t let me get away with it, even if you think you deserved it, got it?”

There was a pause. “Got it, Stevie,” Eddie replied, laughing softly before he hummed. “I just want you to know I’m really happy you’re giving me a second chance.”

“Honestly, Eddie, I regretted telling you off pretty much immediately,” Steve admitted, chewing on his bottom lip.

“You still sounded pretty angry when you answered the phone earlier…” Eddie pointed out and Steve grimaced.

“Like I said, when I’m hurt I can be an asshole, and I was still a bit hurt because you did lie and it was kind of embarrassing as a professional fumbling like that in front of Chrissy,” Steve pointed out. “I’m lucky Chrissy isn’t super uptight, because that alone could’ve cost me my job, Eddie.”

“Yikes, sorry, again,” Eddie replied sheepishly. “What changed your mind?”

“I, uh, looked you up,” Steve admitted, and Eddie went very silent on the other line.

When Steve didn’t elaborate further, Eddie let out a strangled little, “Oh?”

“Yeah, kinda just figured out what band you’re in first and stuff, saw some of your promo stuff for your newest album, read an article about your disability,” Steve explained, clearing his throat nervously. “Then while I was reading another article, I clicked a link to your YouTube—”

“Oh, fuck me,” Eddie groaned, his voice muffled as if he had buried his face into a pillow. Then, with his voice a bit clearer, he added, “Please tell me you haven’t watched the Tour Diaries, I’m begging you, Stevie, even if you have to lie.”

“I don’t like to lie, Eddie,” Steve said with a grin, blushing as he thought about videos again. “They were sweet—”

“It’s so embarrassing, and I swear I was only letting Gareth keep the stupid Steve Spotting segment in there because Steve is a super common name and you said you didn’t know or care about who we were, but I can absolutely get Gareth to remove the segments—” Eddie rambled, sounding a bit panicked.

“Eddie, the segment is fine! It’s great, I don’t—Gareth can keep the segment in the videos. It was that segment that got my bitchy head out of my ass,” Steve interrupted, and Eddie sputtered, and Steve liked to imagine that he was blushing.

“But… can you pretend to have a problem with it so the boys will leave me alone?” Eddie asked in a dramatically pouty voice.

“Absolutely not,” Steve replied with a grin.

“Ugh,” Eddie groaned before sighing, and letting the conversation lapse into silence that was not awkward or uncomfortable.

“Tell me something about yourself that you haven’t told me before,” Steve said quietly after a minute, smiling at Eddie’s soft hum.

“I can tell you about how I got burned,” Eddie replied and Steve frowned.

“You don’t have to. I know you don’t like answering questions about that—”

“I only dodge that question with strangers, especially strangers who are reporters. You, Stevie, are neither of those things,” Eddie said flippantly, taking a deep breath. “In twelfth grade I, uh, set myself on fire.”

“Oh shit,” Steve said, eyebrows shooting high on his forehead.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t just like… oops, dropped a lit match on myself. I had the bright idea to do the whole… flamethrower thing with a can of hairspray and a lighter,” Eddie continued and Steve grimaced. “Before you ask, there was next to zero thought process behind that decision, it was almost entirely impulse.”

“How’d you end up on fire though? I thought the hairspray flamethrower made the flames pretty directional,” Steve asked, though he was definitely not completely positive on that either.

“Yeah, well, the wind changed direction and suddenly my pants, my shirt, and my hair was on fire,” Eddie replied with a put-upon sigh and Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “The worst part was the hair. Not only did that shit stink, but man, my hair was glorious.”

“I don’t know, your hair is pretty glorious now, too,” Steve said appreciatively, thinking back to the black and white photo and the way his long curls spread across the vanity and fell over his shoulders.

There was a slight pause before Eddie let out a soft, almost shy giggle. “Stevie, I don’t know how to handle compliments from you now that I know you’ve actually seen me,” he admitted and Steve grinned.

“Good to know,” Steve hummed cheekily, laughing when Eddie groaned a bit.

In the background at Eddie’s end, Steve could hear a knock and a muffled voice. “Yeah! Heard you loud and—shut the fuck up, we’re only talking!” Eddie yelled, before saying to Steve, “Duty calls, Stevie. Can I call you after the show?”

“If I’m still up,” Steve replied instantly, still grinning up at the ceiling of his room.

“Awesome, I’ll text you! Later, babe,” Eddie said in a rush and hung-up before Steve could properly respond.

Steve held the silent phone to his ear for a while, repeating the term of endearment in his head over and over again while blushing up at the ceiling. His phone vibrated and startled Steve out of his thoughts.

Looking at the screen, it was a picture from Eddie, and for a second Steve was excited about potentially receiving a selfie from the man. When he opened it, he was confused to be faced with an image of a truly hideous bug.

Munson [sent at 18:57]: look at this ✨✨ugly✨✨ ass mf❗❗❗❗❗ he's so ✨✨uuuuuuuglyyyyy✨✨  Munson [sent at 18:58]: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Steve laughed, grinning at the image and the truly comical number of crying emojis that followed the message.

❖

Steve and Eddie spent the next couple of weeks talking daily. During his breaks at work, Steve would text Eddie, and when he would get home for the day, they would call each other. Most of their conversations were Eddie retelling a few stories about himself without the lens of Chris talking about the “frontman”. Even though Steve had heard the stories before, they were so much richer being retold in first person and had more details that Eddie had to previously omit.

They also made a few video calls, usually when production brought the boys to a local landmark to film them “seeing the sights” and Eddie wanted to show Steve something cool. Steve was pretty set on limiting how much time they spent on video calls, knowing it would just make him even more obsessed with Eddie.

Though, that ship had definitely already sailed, and Steve knew it deep in his heart. Even on days when he was too busy at work to spare a few moments to check his texts, he would look at his phone every time it vibrated and grinned when he saw Eddie’s name in his notifications.

When there was only two weeks before the band arrived, Steve went upstairs to meet with one of the front office supervisors, Will.

He was largely responsible for doing room assignments and communicating about groups to the rest of the team. Will was a great kid, super polite, charming, and great with guests to the point that literally every guest that dealt with him and left a review mentioned him by name. So many guests seemed to actually fall in love with the kid, and most of the time that seemed to go over the kid’s head.

Regardless, when Steve left the front desk to join events, he put Will’s name in to replace him.

“Hey Will, you got a minute?” Steve said as he poked his head around the corner to look in on Will’s workstation.

Will looked up at him with wide eyes before smiling and reaching over to his phone to pause his music. The song that had been playing was familiar to Steve, even if it was heavier than the music he typically listened to. After a moment, it clicked that he knew exactly what, or more whose song that was and grinned.

“Yeah, Steve, what’s up?” Will asked, turning to face Steve expectantly. He paused when he saw the gleeful expression on Steve’s face, raising an eyebrow.

Grabbing one of the other chairs in the back office, Steve sat down and handed Will the group summary for Eddie’s band. There was nothing identifying on the page, as it only contained the information that had been turned over to him and then elaborated on by Eddie and Chrissy over the past couple of months.

“We’ve got an entertainment group arriving in a couple weeks. I wanted to go over this with you personally, along with the riders,” Steve said as Will began reading the summary. “It’s a band and film crew. They arrive on the thirteenth, depart on the sixteenth. Their concert is on the Fri—”

“Who is it?” Will interrupted, a bit uncharacteristically, and Steve smirked just a bit when Will’s eyes shot up to meet his.

“They’re a metal band,” Steve responded airily, his smirk fighting to become a grin when Will seemed to vibrate for a second.

“Who is it, Steve?” he asked again, leaning forward.

“Corroded Coffin,” Steve finally said, grinning properly when Will actually stomped his feet excitedly. The kid tended to be pretty reserved, except when he was passionate about something like Dungeons & Dragons, or apparently metal bands.

“This is so cool. I love that band,” Will said, turning his music back on.

“You going to the concert?” Steve asked, and his smile fell a bit when Will frowned.

“The show sold out before I could afford a ticket. They went on sale right after rent and my student loans got pulled,” Will complained, shrugging slightly, but his expression was still excited. “This is so cool though. If I promise not to be weird about it, would it be possible to meet them?”

Steve laughed and nodded. “I think I could make that happen for you,” he said with a wink before standing up.

As Will exploded into a full rant about Corroded Coffin and their music, Steve took that moment to unlock his phone and read the steady flood of texts he had received from Eddie over the day.

Eddie [sent at 10:03]: holy shit i saw another ✨✨fucked up bug✨✨ wth 🤮 Eddie [sent at 11:17]: garebear thinks these candies taste good 🤮🤮🤮 pls tell me ur normal and agree theyre the nastiest shit on the planet 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Eddie [sent at 11:21]: ik ur busy but i'm taking ur silence as agreement and saying u agree w me to garebear 😤 Eddie [sent at 12:02]: wtf 😤 the pigs pulled us over for no gd reason❗❗❗ searched the whole gd bus and now we’re gonna be fuckn late for soundcheck❗❗❗ wtffffffffff 🤬 Eddie [sent at 12:37]: yo baby isnt it lunchtime there?????? u better be taking ur break soon❗❗❗ gotta eat food and stay big and 💪🏻strong💪🏻 and 🥵hot🥵❗❗❗ Eddie [sent at 13:07]:  srsly stevie u better be eating 😠 even if ur not texting me back❗❗❗ 😘

Steve smiled fondly, his heart squeezing at the concern about his eating habits while he was at work. Turning his attention back to Will, he decided to keep what he had with Eddie a bit of a secret as it wasn’t something he wanted getting into the gossip pool. Anyway, Will didn’t need to know that Steve had some extra privileges with the band, or at least the frontman.

❖

The bus was noisily driving down the highway as Eddie lay on his stomach, propped on his elbows in his bunk and talking quietly on the phone with Steve. The curtains of his bunk were drawn closed for as much privacy as he could manage, and he was using earbuds so that his hands were free to fidget with all of his pent-up energy.

They were only a few days away from arriving in Chicago and Eddie was practically vibrating out of his skin about it. Currently he was in the middle of picking his nail polish off, which was making an absolute mess of his bunk that he would be super annoyed about when he finally hung-up with Steve and went to bed, but whatever. 

Eddie would deal with that when he had to.

“Have you listened to any of our music, Stevie?” Eddie asked and he hoped he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt asking. He’d been avoiding bringing up their music with Steve, worried that he wouldn’t like it at all.

“I’ve listened to a couple songs, yeah,” Steve responded with a chuckle.

Eddie waited a couple moments for Steve to say more on his own before asking, “What did you think?”

“I don’t really listen to metal, but your stuff is good,” Steve elaborated, and Eddie couldn’t help the way he wiggled happily at that. “There’s this kid at my work, at front desk, he loves your band. I told him about a week ago that you’re coming to the hotel, and he nearly vibrated through the floor.”

“Oh shit, that’s awesome,” Eddie said, his grin huge.

“He asked if he’d be able to meet you guys while you’re on-property,” Steve added, his voice full of mirth. “I said I would see what I could do.”

“Oh, Stevie, are you trying to exploit our little thing to get your coworker an exclusive meet and greet?” Eddie teased and Steve snorted.

“Nah, I was just gonna ask if it would be possible with your schedule. You can let me know when you do or whatever. No pressure,” Steve replied, and Eddie could tell he meant it.

“Well, he’s going to the show, right? I’ll see if I can upgrade his tickets,” Eddie said easily as he picked another chunk of nail polish off, but Steve sighed a bit sadly.

“Your show sold out before he could buy tickets,” he said at Eddie’s questioning hum, and Eddie frowned.

Well, that wouldn’t do. He’d have to talk to Chrissy about that.

Then Steve let out a little moan that Eddie knew was the noise reserved for stretching. He’d come to learn that Steve made a lot of little noises, when he stretched or was thinking particularly hard about something, or even the few times he fell asleep while they were on the phone. Each little noise was precious and drove Eddie insane with thoughts about the many other ways he could make Steve make such sweet little sounds.

So he cracked the same joke he did every time Steve stretched and moaned directly into his ear.

“Touching yourself over there, baby?” he asked, tone teasing and ready for Steve to scoff, tell him to keep it in his pants, and then go back to the conversation they were having before.

But Steve just hummed thoughtfully before asking, “And what if I was?”

Eddie’s thoughts came to a screeching halt as he tried to come up with a response to that. “What?” he asked stupidly, grimacing at himself.

Steve laughed. “What if I started touching myself?” he asked, his voice turning downright sultry.

“A-are you?” Eddie asked in a whisper. See, the rest of the boys could tolerate his late-night chats with Steve, but they wouldn’t for a second put up with Eddie saying filthy shit into the phone.

“Maybe… was considering it,” Steve replied, and Eddie could hear him shifting, maybe even undressing. That had Eddie’s attention and he shifted his hips as he felt his cock filling out against his bed. “Been thinking about our date a lot lately.”

“Steve, I can’t—I’m on the bus,” Eddie hissed into the phone and Steve made a small sound.

“Alright, I’ll hang up then—”

“No, please don’t hang up,” Eddie quickly interrupted, and if he wasn’t so hot and bothered already, he would’ve been embarrassed at just how desperate he sounded. “I just can’t, like, say anything right now.”

“Don’t have to,” Steve breathed down the line and Eddie shuddered. “Just have to listen, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Eddie replied, quiet and strangled. “Video call?”

“Hmm, no, I don’t think so,” Steve sighed, even if the thoughtful hum sounded interested. Eddie would file that away for later.

“Then tell me what you’re doing,” Eddie whispered, biting his bottom lip roughly as he reached down to reposition his cock between himself and the shitty mattress of his bunk.

On the other end of the line, Steve let out a sound that was breathy and sweet, and Eddie wanted to taste that sound so desperately.

“Just touching my dick, thinking about getting your mouth on it,” Steve moaned, letting another sound tumble out that was much deeper, more guttural, a sound that Eddie felt all the way to the tip of his own cock. “Bet you—oh, fuck, bet your pretty mouth was made for eating cunt.”

Eddie shivered, staring down at the mess of nail polish on the bed, eyes wide as he tried to understand what was happening. Obviously, he was listening to Steve jerk off, listening to him openly fantasize about him, but that didn’t make sense to Eddie. He wasn’t going to complain at all, except for the fact that he couldn’t actually respond. Eddie knew that if he tried, if he opened his mouth and tried to speak right then, he would just moan and alert the three assholes plus Chrissy to their activities.

“Jesus, Eds, I’m so fucking wet thinking about it,” Steve sighed, letting another deep sound of pleasure loose.

Eddie let out a strangled, breathy sound and rocked against the mattress, a furious blush overcoming his face, ears, and throat as he literally humped his bed like a fucking teenager.

“Shit, Eds, gonna—fuck, can’t concentrate anymore. Gonna get myself off, just listen,” Steve eventually said around a thick, desperate groan.

“Got it, Stevie,” Eddie managed to say, his tone shockingly even and quiet.

Then he was treated to the sounds of Steve getting himself off, the way he gasped and moaned, the guttural noises as the pleasure mounted and strangled whines as he seemed to back off a bit. Like he was edging himself, just a bit, dragging it out to torture Eddie.

And fuck, if Steve didn’t moan like a goddamn porn star, like he was being paid to sound so fucking hot. There was a delirious moment where Eddie thought about recording these sounds to sample in a song somehow while he grabbed his body pillow and shoved it between his legs for better friction. Grabbing another pillow, he bit it to better muffle his own noises as he got closer to his own release.

Eddie Munson was about to come in his own boxers while humping a pillow. The thought of it was so humiliating, it looped right back around to being the hottest fucking thing to ever happen to him.

“Shit, Eds, gonna come,” Steve whined, and Eddie shivered, imagining Steve arching in his bed, fingers working his dick and cunt furiously. Then Steve gasped, his voice wavering just before he shouted, “Fuck, Eddie!”

That was it for Eddie. Grinding his teeth around his mouthful of pillow, Eddie rocked his hips hard and fast, breathing heavily through his nose as the front of his boxers became sticky and warm against his skin. With gasping, panting breaths, Eddie quickly rolled onto his hip to avoid too much cum seeping through the layers and defiling his body pillow more than he already had.

“Holy fuck, that was way hotter than I expected,” Steve gasped through is own post-coital panting. “Fuck, Eds, you sounded so hot trying to be quiet.”

Eddie laughed breathlessly. “Wish I didn’t have to be, but hey, as long as it worked for you,” he teased, pushing his sweaty, curly hair up off his forehead.

“It definitely worked,” Steve confirmed with a tired hum, then he audibly yawned and sighed. “Okay, I’ve gotta get to bed, okay?”

“Same. I’ve gotta also change real quick,” Eddie replied in a whisper, grinning at the groan that got out of Steve.

“Shut up, you’re gonna get me going again,” Steve laughed. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely,” Eddie agreed. “Night, Stevie.”

“Night, Eds,” Steve yawned just before hanging up.

Before Eddie could even really think to move from his spot, the curtain of his bunk parted just enough for Gareth’s upside-down face to poke inside with an unimpressed glare.

“If you ever keep me up with freaky phone sex again, I’m putting Nair in your conditioner. Do not test me, Munson,” he bit out.

Eddie just narrowed his eyes. “You’re just jealous I’m getting freaky phone sex and you’re not,” he replied with a haughty sniff. He knew better than to call Gareth’s bluff.

“Of course, I fucking am,” Gareth snapped back before wrinkling his nose. “God, now the whole bus is gonna stink like jizz. Chrissy’s gonna strangle you and I’m gonna let her.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Garebear,” Eddie cooed as he began stripping out of his wet pajama pants and boxers, not even waiting for Gareth to look away. Honestly, it worked better to threaten his childhood best friend with his nudity to get him to look away faster.

“You’re fucking gross, man,” Gareth groused as he disappeared from view, and Eddie just grinned.

[ NEXT ]

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[warmaidensrevenge]

If you are taking requests…. Eddie x plus-size! Reader/BFF

eddie x reader have been friends since childhood they recently started a FWB deal reader likes eddie but thinks it’s just a deal for him to get his needs met immediately it becomes them attached at the hip doing everything together seeming couplish but not realizing it ….eddie takes reader to a party where Steve Harrington is unaware of their situation ship and he immediately starts flirting and eventually asks reader out…eddie gets a little jelly jelly causes a scene by throwing her over his shoulder and taking her out and home where they have the most intense /possessive (the hot kind) sex and he tells her she has to be his….

I love this idea. So I kinda changed it a little. And it kinda got away from me.

FWB

Pairings: Eddie Munson x BFF!plus size reader

A/N: Hey guys. This is a request I had for a while now and thought I would finally get to it. I know it's not exactly like the suggestion, but I absolutely love it. Thanks for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated and asks/comments are always welcomed. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.

Word count: 7,058

Warnings: 18+ sexual situations/implications, oral (M&F receiving), unprotected sex, slight degrading, slight breeding kink, use of bondage, little bit of dom!Eddie, language, and not proof read.

I do not give permission for my work to be used or published anywhere else. Please respect all creators.

Summary: Fucked around and fell in love.

🖤💚

Eddie was sitting on his bed re reading the Hobbit, when his roommate and best friend stormed into his room. Throwing yourself on the bed.

A deep sigh left your lips.

" Rough day?"

" Ugh! Like you wouldn't believe."

Eddie closed his book and grabbed a small bottle of lotion and took off your shoes and socks.

" Tell me about it."

You shook your head. " I'm just really fucking tired of working there. I swear to Buddha, if one more guy tells me 'do you have fries to go with that shake?' I'm punching him in the throat."

Eddie smirked. " Dude, can I be there to see it?"

You laughed. " Sure. But I'm warning you, if you don't stop me from kicking ass. I'm gonna go to jail."

He chuckled while massaging your feet. 

" Dude, this guy grabbed my ass today."

Eddie's brows pinched together and jawed flex as he looked at you.

Eddie was pissed. 

" And you know what he said after?"

" He said. ' Sorry sugar, I just can't help it. I like that wagon your draggin'"

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips. That had to be the funniest shit he ever heard. He was trying so hard not to laugh but he just couldn't.

You pulled one of your feet away and pushed him a little.

" It's not funny!"

" Yes….it…is" he said through his laughs. " To be fair sunshine. You do have a wagon back there."

" Hey, it's not my fault. Big butts and big guts run through the family. It's a curse. Destined to be ugly and fat."

Eddie stopped laughing and gave you a frown. 

" Sunshine stop that. You know you're not ugly. You're actually very beautiful."

You shrugged and pulled your other foot away. " I guess."

He put away the lotion and pulled you to lean against the headboard with him. Putting a hand on your thigh.

" Honestly sunshine. Why do you think guys hit on you at Benny's? Because you're one of the best looking girls in Hawkins."

You shoulder bumped him. " Thanks bud. But let me ask you something… why don't I have a boyfriend?"

" You want a boyfriend?"

You put your head on his shoulder. " Well no. What I really need is to get laid. It's been ages."

Eddie raised his brow. " How long is ages?" 

You sighed. " 7 months."

" JESUS!" 

You lifted your head and punched his arm. 

"Shut up! It's not like you're bringing girls back like you used to. How long has it been for you?"

" Uhh let's see….hmmm carry the two…."

" Eddie!" You punched him again.

" Ouch. Okay! Geez! It's been like 5 and counting."

" See. I'm not the only lame one here."

You sat there for a minute studying Eddie's expression. 

" Oh no." You sighed. " What's going on in that big head of yours?"

Eddie had a thought. Maybe it wasn't the best but fuck he really needed to get laid.

" Uhh you know how Gareth is friends with Alex?"

Your eyes widened. " You're not suggesting what I think you are?"

He chuckled nervously. If he was honest with himself, the only reason he didn't hook up with anyone was because of you. He didn't remember when it actually happened. But somehow he started having these…feelings. They weren't much at first. It was just after a long day at work, he couldn't wait to come home and talk to you. Or when he had a show all he wanted was to see your face in the crowd. You never went to his shows because you always worked the night shift on Tuesdays. But he really wanted you there. For some reason even though he saw you everyday, he felt like it wasn't enough. So maybe if he suggested something outlandish, you would agree. Then he can get closer than he'd ever been.

" I know it's weird because we're friends. But what if we did what they do?"

You shifted a little and Eddie could tell you were a little uncomfortable.

" I-I mean we don't…I just thought-"

" Just sex?"

He looked at you surprised by your question. Were you actually considering it?

" Y-yeah. It could be like a stress release."

" Hmmm…so how often would you say we can do it?"

Eddie looked away. Another question he wasn't prepared for.

" I- I guess when we need to."

Or want to…

You were quiet for a minute. Eddie heard you gulp. You turned to face him.

" Okay. But a few ground rules first."

Eddie was in shock. All he could do was nod.

" Oral is a must. For both parties."

He sucked in a breath. " Of-of course."

" No kissing. That's too intimate."

Eddie nodded again.

" Umm so shaving. I trim but I don't go bald. Are you okay with that?"

He swallowed then chuckled . " Y-yeah. The wilderness must be explored."

You playfully pushed him and giggled. He grinned.

" Uhh I trim too. But I still have a bush. Are you cool with that?" He said.

You looked away and blushed. Eddie couldn't help the smile plastered on his face. You looked so pretty when you got shy.

" That's fine. As long as I'm not flossing with them."

He chuckled. " No you won't."

You guys were quiet again. Eddie noticed you getting nervous. You always chewed on your nails when you did. 

" So besides the obvious penetration, what else do you like that guys have done?"

You brought your hand down from your mouth and started picking your nails. 

" Well umm I like my nipples played with…and biting."

Eddie tilted his head. " Biting?"

" Well not like biting biting, more like nibbling. And I like it a little rough. Kinda when the guy grabs my neck."

Fuck that's hot! He thought.

"Like this?" He said, wrapping his long fingers around your throat.

" Uhhh no…don't put pressure on my windpipe… Squeeze the veins."

He readjusted his fingers and squeezed.

" Mmm yeah…like that." You moaned.

God just that little sound you made got him so hard. You pushed his hand away and started fidgeting with your ring.

" What do you like?"

Eddie wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and started playing with his rings.

" I uhhh well I like blow jobs."

You scoffed. " Who doesn't?"

" True….umm I also like when the girl rides me. Something about the way tits bounce. It's fucking hot."

You nodded. " I can do that."

Eddie smirked. " I umm this might sound weird. But I like using handcuffs."

" On you or the girl?"

" The girl."

" Hmmm…okay…I haven't done it like that. But umm maybe next time."

You guys were quiet again. 

Eddie cleared his throat. " So uhhh…are we gonna do this?"

You chewed on your lip for a second. " Only if it doesn't make things weird between us."

" I won't if you won't."

You nodded and got up.

" Where are you going?"

You looked back at him. " Gonna shower first. I got a little sweaty at work today. "

" That's okay. I don't mind."

You smiled at him. " I do though. Umm why don't you get ready and I'll be out in a minute."

Eddie got up and looked around his room. What should he do? 

He first took off all his clothes. Then put on some music. He moved the blanket to the side and laid down. His erection was fading and he didn't want you to see him soft so he started jerking himself off. After a few minutes you came back in just a towel.

" Woah. Okay you're naked." You said looking away.

" Yeah...you told me to get ready."

You climbed on his bed slowly holding onto the towel. 

" Can you get the light?" You asked, sitting by his feet.

Eddie reached over to pull the lamp string. As soon as it went dark he felt your hand rubbing his thigh.

" Can I put it in my mouth?"

He felt your hand slide up and grabbed him. 

" Yeah." He sighed.

His eyes rolled back feeling your lips press a soft kiss on his head. He groaned feeling your tongue lick a fat strip from his base to his tip. Swirling your tongue around his head then you sucked his tip gently giving him goosebumps. While pumping with your hand you took him deeper into your mouth.

Your mouth felt so good, so warm. And the way you sucked and licked him he swore he saw stars. 

Eddie's hand instinctively went for the back of your head. Then out of nowhere you let go of him with a little pop. Your hand continued to pump him while you sucked on his balls. His hips jerked up feeling your tongue circling each one.

"Fuck! Mmmm…god that's fucking good."

He felt you hum with one of his balls in your mouth. You let go after a minute and cupped them to keep them warm. Return your focus back to his throbbing cock. 

Shit how are you so good at that? 

He felt his release coming but as much as he would love to fill your pretty mouth with his load. He had to make sure he made you feel good too.

" Uhh sunshine?"

You hummed with a mouth full of him.

" Can I taste you now?"

You let up and kept pumping him and massaging his balls.

" Yeah."

You moved to lay down as Eddie got between your legs.  The towel fell towards your hips as you raised your knees. He spread your knees and got close, taking a whiff.

Damn you smell so good. 

When he ran his fingers between your folds you were so slick. 

All this for sucking me off? 

Normally Eddie would be very vocal about all of this. But this was already crossing that line between friends and just a hookup. To him this was more than that. You were his best friend and he didn't want to disrespect you. Or make you feel like just an object.

He stuck his tongue out and gave you one slow lick from your entrance to your swollen clit.

JESUS H….how are you so sweet?

After the first taste test, he dove in. You had been quiet for a second until he started flicking his tongue on your clit. The soft moans were driving him mad. He wanted more. Needed to make you say his name. But you didn't.

When Eddie looked up the soft amber glow from the light outside shone on you making you look so beautiful. You had pulled the towel off and were massaging your tits. Now that he saw you completely naked he choked on his own spit. Every roll and all your stretch marks were so sexy to him. And your tits…God he wanted them in his mouth. 

He readjusted so he could reach up and play with one. 

" Eddie…finger me." 

Your voice was so soft and sweet he got impossibly harder.

With his free hand he slid in his middle and ring finger while sucking on your clit. He then curled his fingers up in a come hither motion. He was gentle at first, making sure you adjusted to his stretch.

Fuck! So tight and wet.

" Press harder." You moaned.

He did so and your moans turned into heavy breathing and whimpers.

" Ohhhh… like… that."

You started moving your hips and your hand went into his hair. 

" Ohhh Eddie shit." 

He felt your walls pulsate and he smiled to himself. 

You gonna cum? Shit…not yet.

When he pulled out his fingers you whined.

" Condom?" He asked. Voice low and deep, full of lust.

" You have one?"

" Yeah"

He crawled up your body until he was face to face with your ample breast. Taking your nipple into his mouth and tugging it gently. He reached over to his nightstand and fumbled around grabbing a rubber. He moved his mouth to the other side and played with your nipple. He hurried and put in the condom. After, he aligned himself to your entrance, preparing himself to cross the line. He looked up at you and you had your eyes closed pressing your lips together.

" Sunshine…are you okay?"

" Mhmm. I just can't believe we're gonna have sex."

" We don't have to. We can stop and pretend this never happened."

You looked at him with a hint of concern. Then you smiled.

" Nope. You have to fuck me now."

Eddie smirked.

A guttural groan came out as he pushed himself in you. His body trembled. He was not expecting you to feel this good. It almost felt like you were a virgin. As he pushed further he stopped half way when he felt your already tight hole get even tighter.

Your body stiffened under him. He met your eyes and gave you a questionable look. 

" Umm can you kiss my neck?" You whispered.

He nodded and pressed tender kisses all over. Then he moved a little deeper and nipped at your neck. Feeling you relaxed again he continued to thrust in. He was almost at the hilt when he hit a spot that made you gasp.

" There?" His voice was husky.

" Y-yes…fuu."

He pulled out a little then went back in, hitting it again. Your moans drove him crazy. It honestly sounded like music. 

Picking up the pace Eddie sucked on your nipples again. Leaving small bruises around them. You dug your fingernails into his back. Not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to leave little crescent shapes. 

Eddie groaned and panted. He was so close. In order to get you there faster, he reached down and rubbed your clit. Your hips bucked into his and you cried out his name.

He latched his lips to your neck nipping and sucking. 

" Eddie…fuck! Gonna cum."

He grunted, thrusting harder.

" Cum sunshine." He said against your hot skin.

He then heard you go silent. He rested his forehead on your collar bone and screwed his eyes shut when he felt your release. His arms trembled while holding himself up. His load filled the condom. Once he was finished he just stayed there for a minute to catch his breath.

" Jesus…I really needed that." You said just above a whisper.

A small chuckle left him. " Same."

He pulled out and laid down. He wanted to grab you and cuddle but you quickly got up and put the towel back on.

" Same time tomorrow?" You asked.

" Uhh sure."

" Okay. Gonna shower again. Night bud."

"N-night."

When you left he just laid there in disbelief. 

Shit! That was great.

…

Over the next month Eddie got to have sex with you almost every other day. For the most part you initiated it by randomly sucking him off. Or showing up half naked in his room. He wasn't complaining though. He loved your mouth and your pussy. You always were so wet for him and gave the best head. Most importantly though he was falling deeper in love with you.

One particular day you were in the kitchen making dinner as usual when he got home from the shop. Something came over him seeing you in that red and white plaid apron. Things were calm that day. No stressful situations or anything that might need some type of release. When things started that's why you guys had sex. However, it quickly became more. To him if felt like you had sex with him not only because he could make you cum. But that you started to like him how he liked you.

He grinned at you and sat at the counter.

" So how was your day?" You asked with a smile.

" It was good. How was yours?" 

Eddie watched as you went to the fridge and pulled out a beer for him. He noticed that you weren't wearing any underwear. He licked his lips when you turned around. You were wearing gray track shorts. They hugged your big round ass so good, it had him wanting to drop to his knees and worship you.

You turned around to hand him his drink and smiled.

" It was good too. No assholes today. "

He took a swig and wiped his mouth. 

" That's good sunshine. So uhhh what's for dinner?"

You looked up from the stove. Your eyes meeting his made his heart pound. Your long eyelashes kissed your cheeks.

" Tacos."

" Mmmm love tacos."

You looked back to the pan and mixed the beef.

" I know."

" Do you need help?" He offered

" Umm no. I got this. Just relax."

He watched you move around the kitchen. You were so graceful. But then you bent over to grab someone from the lower cabinet. His eyes nearly popped out of his head. Your cheeks spread a little. When you stood up the fabric of the shorts got stuck between. 

Eddie stood up and took one more drink before heading around the counter. He wanted you so he was going for it.

He walked up behind you and slowly pressed his erection against your bottom. To his surprise you arched your back and pressed your bottom closer to his hips. He ran his hand up your side to your neck. Tilting it a little so he could kiss you there. 

" Mmm Eddie…I'm cooking."

" Turn the stove off. " He said between kisses. " The only taco I want right now is yours."

" Ewww!" You giggled.

He smiled against your skin. Pressing harder against your ass.

"Seriously Eddie. I'm gonna burn the meat or get burned."

He suddenly grabbed your hip and pulled you away from the stove. He quickly turned it off and returned his attention to you. You had put your hands on the edge of the counter to balance yourself as he took off your shorts. Once you were out of them he pulled your hips back so that you were bent over a bit. You threw your head back and moaned when he slid his fingers inside you. 

Eddie was so hard he couldn't wait to be inside you. With his free hand he quickly undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Pulling them down and letting them fall to his ankles. He removed his fingers from you and spread your wetness over his rock hard cock. He moved your legs further apart then slowly began to fuck you. 

" Such a good fucking pussy." He groaned.

" Mmmm such a good cock….so pretty…and thick." 

He smirked at your words. He remembered when you started talking during sex. It was easily in the top 3 of the best times with you. 

Eddie reached around and started rubbing lazy circles around your clit. Before he knew it you went quiet like you did every time you came. Your perfect pussy hugged him pulling out his cum. He immediately pulled out and stroked himself until he came on your ass. When he was finished he grabbed a paper towel and cleaned you up. He pulled up his jeans and helped you put on your shorts.

When you turned around you were in a blissful state. He moved to brush your hair behind your ear. He looked deep into your eyes. He leaned in to kiss you, but you moved and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

You went back to the stove. " Why don't you take a shower and I'll finish up dinner."

Eddie stared at you. His heart was telling him to confess. But he knew if he did, he would ruin everything.

Instead of saying anything he went to shower. 

…

The moment things changed for you, was when Eddie said that he loved you one night. He was a bit drunk and so were you. It all started a week after he tried to kiss you. See, though you wanted to kiss him, that would make things a hell of a lot more complicated. You should have known better to have sex with your best friend. But after the first time, you didn't want anyone else but him. 

So the following Tuesday you had to ask for the night off so you could surprise Eddie and the guys with a cake. Congratulating them on their 200th show. For just over 4 years Corroded Coffin had been playing at the Hideout every Tuesday. You never got to see them in action before. Only in Gareth's garage. So what a perfect time to see them. You knew Eddie would be happy. He had begged you for a whole year to go. But things never happened. 

You were so looking forward to seeing him. And tonight was going to be different. You knew you guys were gonna end up hooking up again. But this time was gonna be different. You knew it was.

And you would be right. Just not in the way you expected. 

When you got to the bar you sat at the counter, with the cake next to you. You smiled up at the stage when your friends came out. Eddie looked so good, he had you squirming in your stool. He hadn't seen you yet which was perfect. You had asked the bartender for a knife and he obliged. 

The show was just about over and you went to the back room and waited for the guys. But when they finally came there was some random chick hanging on Eddie. You didn't look at him when he approached you. You just faked a smile.

" Ummm surprise." You said trying to not cry.

" Sunshine! What?" 

Eddie and the guys looked at the cake and all gave you a hug, thank you. The hot thin redhead tried to wrap her arms around Eddie's neck but he pushed her arms away and went to hug you.

But before he could you turned around and started cutting pieces of cake. When Eddie followed, you asked without looking at him if he could get you a drink. Something strong. He agreed and when he came back the redhead was gone. You guys exchanged drinks and cake. You went to sit down with Gareth and started talking to him like if Eddie wasn't there burning a hole in the side of your face with his eyes.

You pounded the drink trying your best to not look at Eddie. Because if you did it would break your heart. Knowing that you and him would never be more than just friends.

As the night went on the drinking continued at home. Eddie was drinking his blue ribbon while you had rum and coke. After a few drinks you were feeling really good. You went to the radio and turned it on. Then you started dancing. Eddie sat on the couch and watched your wide hips sway. When you caught his eye you smiled and motioned him to dance with you. 

Eddie finished his beer and went to you. You grabbed his hands and rocked him side to side. He chuckled and spun you around. You lost your balance for a second. But he pulled you into his arms. You threw back your head and giggled, making him laugh even more. When you finally stopped laughing you looked at him. He looked back and forth between your eyes. 

"Can I-" he tried to ask if he could kiss you but you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room. You quickly got undressed then went to him and helped him out of his clothes. Once he was completely naked you led him to your bed and had him sit down while you got on your knees and started licking and sucking his cock. 

Eddie's hand went to the back of your head watching your cheeks hollowing around him. He moaned, feeling the back of your throat. 

"J-jesus!"

You hummed and massaged his balls. You bobbed and stroked him for a few minutes before he wanted to feel you.

" Ride me."

You let go of him and gave him a look. This would be the first time you did this. 

" Common sunshine. You can do it."

You nodded and he helped you stand. He moved back and laid down while you grabbed a condom. After sliding it down his thick long cock you went to straddle him. With your hands on his chest you spread your legs wide so that your thick thighs could open enough for him. Once you did he grabbed his length and found your core. 

He grunted feeling your warmth surrounding him. You returned his moans with gasps. With one hand on your hip and the other on your breast you began rocking. 

This felt so good. It felt like it was supposed to have happened all along. The whole time you rode him your eyes were closed and Eddie wished you would just look at him and see how much he was in love with you. And as if you read his mind you opened your eyes and stared at him. There was this moment of awkwardness and it looked like you were gonna cry. Without hesitation he sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist. As you rocked faster you said something that he'd been dying to do for months.

" Kiss me." you whispered

Your voice was small and so soft. He thought he imagined it. He then cupped your face. And for the first time since this started you didn't move away. He kissed you with everything he had. And by all the gods it felt amazing. So much so that both you and he stopped moving and just kissed each other. It was so perfect and beautiful that he started to tear up. You started moving again about a minute later. Only this time you went slow. This was no longer just fucking to cum. This was making love. Something that he never really did before. To him it was incredible. It was for you too. But for you it felt like it was the last time you were gonna do this. It felt like a goodbye. Like this friends with benefits thing had finally come to an end. And it broke your heart. How could you go back to being just friends when all you wanted to do was be in his arms? To be the only girl he touched like this. To be the only one who made him feel good. 

You had to stop. Because of these feelings. Feelings that should have never happened. 

You kissed him until you were close. 

"Eddie." You whimpered into his mouth.

" I feel it. Go ahead…I'm coming too." 

He pulled you back into a deep kiss before he felt you clench and soak him while he exploded into the condom.

That night he fell asleep with you. As he spooned you he buried his nose in your hair and moaned softly. He whispered three little words that made you silently cry because you knew that it didn't mean anything. You whispered them back but also added 'I wish we never did this'.

…

Two weeks went by and for some reason Eddie barely saw you. You had switch shifts so that you worked opposite of him and you picked up extra hours saying something about buying a car. Which he didn't understand because you could take his van whenever you wanted. 

Eddie missed you. His heart started to ache when he wasn't able to talk to you like he used to. It felt like a piece of him was missing. So he decided to ask you to come with him to a party this upcoming weekend.

You just got off of work and he was just about to leave when you guys had a minute together.

He smiled " Hey sunshine." 

You gave him a small thin lip one. " Hey."

He felt the tension.

" So uhhh listen. There's this party tomorrow." 

You put your stuff down and went to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

" Umm do you want to go…with me?"

You turned and looked at him. He swore you never looked so beautiful.

" Will there be alcohol?"

He smirked. " Tons."

You nodded, taking a swig of your drink. 

" Great! Umm well I got to go. I'll see you later."

He was going to hug you but you held up your hand waving him goodbye taking another drink and headed to your room.

He wanted to not go to work. What he really wanted was to follow you. To kiss and hug you. Make love to you all day. But, he chose to wait.

He said a silent "I love you' and went about his day.

The next night he was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom, so that you guys could go. When you did, you were wearing the cutest sundress and sandals. You gave him a smile and grabbed your purse.

" You look…wow."

You giggled a little and playful pushed him. " Common Eddie. Let's go get drunk."

He quickly opened the door for you and you pushed him again. He grinned watching your wide hips and perfectly big ass sway in the dress. He jogged to open the passenger door. You smiled again and got in. 

Once at the party you immediately separated from him. He looked everywhere but it was like you just disappeared. About 15 minutes in he went outside to hit up the keg. That's when he was bum rushed by the girl he met at the Hideout. She threw her arms around his neck and planted a harsh slobbered kiss on his mouth. 

When you saw that you looked away and tried to focus your sight on something else. Everything Steve Harrington said to you went in one ear and out the other. When you got to the party all you wanted to do was hide in the bathroom and drink. But on the way there you ran into the very handsome Steve " the hair" Harrington. He accidentally spilled his drink on your shirt when he came out of the restroom. He apologized profusely and offered you a dry shirt. The awkward silence that followed was damn near impossible to stand. Steve knew that uncomfortability right away. His older sister had insecurities about her weight as well. Without another word he grabbed your hand and led you to a room and rummaged through his sister's dresser. He pulled out a few options and turned around to give you your privacy so that you can change.

Now you were having a wonderful conversation with him in his backyard. Then you saw Eddie kiss that girl from the bar. It was in that moment you knew, you loved your best friend. But you would never be his. And though it tore you to pieces you faked a smile and started the conversation back up with Steve. For the most part it was innocent enough. Until Steve leaned in and put an arm around your shoulders while Robin Buckley and her girlfriend joined the conversation. What possessed you to lean into Steve had you at a loss. Maybe it was coming to the realization you could never have your best friend the way you've been wanting him had finally caught up to you. Or maybe it was because Steve was handsome and charming. Either way you flirted back so hard that if you replayed the night again and watched from an outside perspective you would cringe like no other. 

Which was what Eddie did. After the chick kissed him he pushed her away and just shook his head. " Look, I'm here with someone. And if she sees you talking to me, we're both dead." 

The girl scoffed and walked away. Well more like stubbled away. He again shook his head and watched her disappear into the house. When his eyes scanned the backyard he saw you. And to his surprise, you were flirting. Like flirting flirting. With Harrington of all people.

Eddie squeezed his red solo cup, spilling his fresh beer all over his jacket when he saw that dick put his arm around you. Eddie's heart started to race and his thoughts went bezerk. He wanted to march right up to you, punch Steve square in the jaw and take you home and punish you for flirting. But then you leaned into him. You did that thing you do with your hair. You were never really a girly girl, which Eddie loved about you. But you did this thing where you would twirl your hair around your finger when you were thinking about something sexual. That's how Eddie knew when you needed a good fucking. It was your subconscious signal to him. Now you were doing it for Steve. That's when he saw red. He…was…furious. He tossed his cup and walked towards you. He took a few deep breaths to calm down so that he didn't cause a scene. Even though he really wanted to cause a mother fucking scene. 

" Sunshine?!"

When you looked over to him you immediately knew he was pissed. You quickly pulled out of Steve's reach and grabbed Eddie's arm.

" What happened bud?"

You studied his jacket and shook your head.

" Eddie, the alcohol is going to ruin your jacket."

" Can we go?" He asked.

You nodded and said bye to everyone.

Once at home you were in the kitchen making some soapy water to clean his jacket. Eddie was on edge. He was about to do something that you guys never did before. You were mid cleaning when he grabbed your hand and pulled you to his room.

" Eddie?"

" Be quiet. And take off your clothes."

Your eyes went wide. " W-what?"

Eddie tore off his clothes and started to undress you.

" Eddie?"

He met your eyes and you just knew. Things were about to get intense.

Once you were naked he stepped back and stared at your beautiful luscious body.

" So fuck sexy." He said in a lustful deep tone that shook you to your core. " Hands together."

You swallowed and brought your wrist together. He reached over to his head board and grabbed his handcuffs. Snapping the cold metal around your wrists. He pushed you on the bed and lifted your arms above your head and hooked the cuffs to the board. After he looked at you and got so close to your face.

" I'm gonna fuck you until the thought of being with anyone else is out of your head."

You tried to say something but he stopped you by kissing you roughly. His tongue swirled in your mouth and his big rough hands grabbed you everywhere. You moaned against his lips when his fingers slipped through your folds and started rubbing figure eights around your clit. 

" So wet for me sunshine."

" Mmmm" you hummed.

" Does anyone else get you this wet?"

His question seemed more like a statement than a question. And before you could answer he slipped two fingers in your warmth. Pumping steadily. You arched your back pressing your ample breast against his flexed chest.

" Mmm yeah sunshine? Like my fingers in you?"

It felt so good that you couldn't say anything. You just whimpered and nodded. 

" Such a good fucking girl. A good little slut….just for me."

His words were driving you crazy. He never said anything like this before. But by God did you love it.

He started pumping hard and adding a come hither motion with his fingers, teasing you g-spot. While moaning his name, Eddie took one of your tits in his mouth. Tugging at your nipple. You threw your head back and cursed. Eddie smirked to himself. 

" That's right…only I know how to get you to cum so fast."

You whined and squirmed. Feeling your release come. And just before you did Eddie moved down your body, removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. He thumbed at your clit and lapped up your wetness. This release was brief, but it felt so good doing it on his tongue. You were panting trying to get your bearings when he flipped you over and pulled at your hips to get you to your knees.

" Scoot up" he ordered.

You moved up a little and grabbed a hold of the long chain hanging from the cuffs.

" That's it. Such a good girl."

Eddie stroked your ass and gave you a tap. You gasped at the tiggle it left behind. 

" Think you can flirt with other guys in front of me?"

He tapped your ass again. Harder this time causing you to whimper.

" E-eddie?"

" Sunshine…I'm gonna fuck you now. And I'm not gonna wear a condom."

You were quiet for a second until he smacked your ass again.

" Oh-okay."

Eddie grabbed his cock and moved it through your folds. Spreading your slick all over him. He eased in slowly until he bottomed out. His eyes rolled back feeling your cunt pulsating around him. Fitting him like a glove. You whined when you wanted him to move and he smirked. His hand went down your back and wrapped in your hair. His thrusts were hard and slow. Once he found your spot he set a steady pace and your breath sighs and moans got louder. 

" Yessss. Fuuu….take it…yeah take this fucking cock like the good little slut you are."

" Eddieeee."

" Yeah…say my name…."

" Ed-ed-"

" Damn sunshine. You're taking me so well. Love your pussy…such a good fucking pussy."

Eddie looked down and watched his cock going in and out of you. With your tight walls slightly following his dick as he pulled out a little. 

" This is mine. Baby this perfect pussy is mine."

" Oh Eddie….I'm gonna-"

" I know….ugh….feel it….you want me to cum in you or pull out?"

You didn't even take a second to think before you answered.

" Cum in me…fill me up."

Eddie was shocked. But to be honest he'd been wanting this forever.

" Yeah?"

"Y-yes ed-eddie…please!"

" You want it? You want me to fuck a baby into you?"

Your eyes rolled back and the thought of having Eddie's baby did it for you. All you could do was whimper a small yes. With that, Eddie came long and hard into you. 

When he was finished draining he pulled out and uncuffed you. Your body went slack and you practically fell on the bed panting. Eddie was trying to catch his breath too and he laid down next to you. He grabbed your wrist and kissed them gently.

" You okay sunshine?"

" Mmhmm…so good."

Eddie grinned. " I'll be right back."

Eddie returned with a warm washcloth and a Gatorade. He gave you the drink and cleaned between your legs before cleaning himself. He left again to grab you a shirt and panties from your room. He put on a pair of plaid boxers. You handed him the Gatorade and got dressed too. Once you were clothed you went to the linen closet and pulled out new sheets for his bed. This had become kind of a force of habit. You would always leave a wet spot on his bed after. So not wanting him to sleep on that, even though he would love it. You changed his sheets. Eddie had already taken off the previous ones when you went back and began helping you put the fresh ones on. Once his bed was made you started for the door to head to your room. But Eddie grabbed your hand.

" Sleep with me sunshine."

You hesitated for a second. But nodded. You both laid there looking up at the ceiling. Another first when it came to the weird relationship. You never slept with him after well just once before. But after that time you made sure to never do it again. You started getting in your head about him and that girl. But Eddie was about to make you forget all about her.

As Eddie laid there he was debating with himself on what he would say. There was a lot that just went on and he wanted to address every single thing. But the first thing he was going to bring up was him and you.

" Don't do that again."

You turned your head to look at him. He was still staring up at the ceiling. Confused on what you did wrong, you asked.

" Do what Eddie?"

He looked at you with his serious face that always made you laugh. Except this time. You were worried that you fucked up somehow and now he was pissed off at you.

" Flirt with other guys." Eddie saw you furrow your brow and realized he needed to be more clear. " We're together okay. So don't flirt with other guys."

You blinked a few times before you answered.

" O-oh…umm sorry. I-I didn't know."

" Well now you do."

You smiled to yourself. We're together.

Eddie then pulled you into his arms and gave you a quick but very passionate kiss. 

" Sleep in here from now on, yeah?"

You nodded. But then the thought of that girl came and ruined your brief moment of bliss.

" Eddie, what about that girl?"

He smiled seeing the little look in your eye he knew all too well that was jealousy.

" Sunshine, I'm yours. Always have been and always will be."

" Promise?"

" Promise promise baby."

You said a small okay and snuggled closer to him. Out of nowhere you started to giggle.

Eddie lifted his head to look at you. " What's so funny, chuckles?"

" I'm sorry…but 'fuck a baby into you'."

Eddie smirked. " Yeah so?"

" Oh it's nothing…it's just…I'm on the pill."

Eddie sat up and stared down at you. " You're telling me all this time I could have done that without a condom?"

" Well it is for your protection and mine."

" Sunshine, I haven't been with anyone but you since we started doing this."

You looked up at him with big eyes. " Really?"

" Yeah duh. All this time I just wanted you."

You looked away and smiled. " Me too."

Eddie laid back down and cuddled with you again. After a few minutes he cleared his throat." Uhhh can we do that again?"

" Right now?" 

"Yes please."

You laughed. " Only if we can use the handcuffs again."

"Shit...yeah definitely."

You laughed again and quickly took off your panties. " Let's do this."

Eddie chuckled and grabbed his cuffs. Before he put them on he kissed you. When he pulled away he looked you deep in the eyes and smiled.

" I love you sunshine." 

You smiled. " Love you too."

…

@salenorona23

[arilynn170]

The Begin (2023)

Me (age 16) and my friend Poppy (age 19) are going to The Jackalope she tells me its a calm to get away from asshole boyfriend Brandon/Gabriel (40 year old) i left without him knowing...

Poppy Summers: You got your fake ID?

Me: Yep I always have it with me when we're doing stuff together.

Poppy: Why are you wearing a dress we're not going to a party or some club it's a bar plus there won't be guys that looks like Ryan Gosling or Harry Styles. There's ugly old fuckers there.

Me: I just like being cute.

Poppy: Well your always cute without the dress wear some like big t shirts and jeans.

Me: Welp to late.

Poppy: If you touched by old pedophile it's your fault.

(I roll my eyes I get in her car and made there it was empty in the bar)

Me: It's all for us.

Poppy: Hm... Weird... Usually there's like I don't know 5 or 10 people here.

Me: Really? Huh well this is my first time being in a bar.

Poppy: I know it's your first silly goose. Im going to get drinks

Me getting sleepy: Ok... I guess.... (Sleep on the table for a little bit I wake up by a tap on my back) I DON'T TOUCH MY BACK!

Lawrence (age 26): Oh I'm really sorry...

Poppy: Are you ok Ari? Who are you?

Lawrence: Lawrence... You?

Poppy: Poppy, why you touch her back she has a scar on her back.

Lawrence: Look I'm really I...

Ren (age 21): Lawrence what's going on? (I look at the black and red hair woman that is next to the blonde hair girl)

(I look at Ren) Hi I'm Ariana Lynn

Poppy: I'm Poppy

Ren: Well hello Ariana and Poppy I'm Ren Hana. Me and my friend Lawrence are just about to get drinks for each other if you want I can buy y'all's drinks

(I fell in love with him I started blushing)

Poppy looked at Ariana: Ari, why you blushing found someone you like?

Me: Huh? Oh I'm just thinking about.... Justin Timberlake nudes... Yeah hahaha...

(Lawrence and Ren look at each other with confusion)

Ren clears his throat: I'm going to the drinks (Ren and Lawrence go get the drinks)

Poppy: Not going to lie Lawrence looks fine he seems chill

Me: Yeah I think I like Ren he's pretty nice and handsome... *Blushing more*

Poppy: You should cheat on Brandon for Ren, because I don't Brandon to keep on hurting you and make isolated

Me: I still love Brandon

Poppy groans

(Ren and Lawrence came with 4 cups whiskey)

Me and Poppy: Thank you

Ren: Yeah no problem *I look at Ariana*

(I took Lawrence drink and then Ren's and Poppy's)

(Ren was shocked and surprised) Oh wow...

Poppy: Really Ari?

Me: What I wanna have fun.

(Ren and Lawrence walk away from us and I hear them arguing)

Poppy: Wanna leave Ari?

Me: Yeah I'm ready to go to your place

(We go outside and then Lawrence come to us he seems upset me and Poppy looked at him and then each other)

Lawrence: .... Ren's path...split from mine...

Me: I'm sorry I guess...?

Poppy: Ari let's leave

(Lawrence then swing his fist at Poppy knocking Poppy out)

Me: Poppy! (I run to the alley I see a fox tail next to a trashcan I go to it, it was Ren)

Ren: Ariana, you ok?

Me: Please help me... He.. he... (I fall on the ground)

(Hours later, I woke up to a beautiful living room) Huh... Where am I?

Ren: Hey your awake, are you ok. This is my house by the way (Smiles at her)

Me: Oh cool, I see your just like me... A beastkin.. I'm a cat girl

Ren: Oh how cute I'm a fox boy...

Me: Oh nice, hey I need to go home

(Ren look at me and then clear his throat) I'm making food for us can you stay for a little bit longer?

Me: Oh ok... What you making fox dude

Ren: Well mashed potatoes, green peas and steak

Me: Do you have steak sauce

Ren: I'll check

Me: Ok (After he left the living room I tried to walk but I heard a chain rattle I look behind me I'm chained and there's a collar on my neck) What the fuck?!

(Ren comes back from the kitchen) Hey you okay? Oh you see the chain

Me: Why are you doing this?! Are you crazy or something?!

(Ren give me displeased look) Well I need a friend

Me: But that doesn't work chaining me like a  goddamn prisoner!

(Ren pull out a remote from his hoodie pocket and then push a button)

Me: AGH!!!! (Fall on the floor)

Ren: I'll be back to get the food

Me: YOUR A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH I'M 16!

Ren: I beg your pardon…? Your 16... Are you kidding me... Well why were you in the bar with that Poppy chick?

Me: Look I had a fake ID so I can get away from my abusive boyfriend

(Ren felt guilt and sadness he turned to me) Why didn't you leave him like break up with him and find someone now?

Me: If I do he'll kill me or sell me... He is a Mexican cartel leader... Has his own cartel... (Started to cry)

Ren: I was in that type of situation but I was kidnapped and but he wasn't a cartel leader he was a murderer and dark web person... You see the faded cuts on my body that's from him...

Me: Who?

(Ren started to tear up) His... His name is Strade... He kidnapped me when I was 19 I met him at a bar I started liking him and then I exited the bar he followed me without me knowing he than attack me and threatened me with a knife... I thought he was a nice person... But he has a dark personality...  After that he tortured me and raped me (cries) But in my heart he loved me because I didn't have anyone that cared about me.. but he did... But he got killed by the person he kidnapped and then both of them died... I should've had saved him... (Cries hard)

(I pull him and hug him)

(Ren hugs me back) I miss him

Me: I don't want to be rude or anything... But he's a bad person he doesn't loves you, he made you feel broken and now you have Stockholm syndrome and PTSD because of him... You should have someone better than him... But you can't trapped or chain a person for no reason your copying what he did to you chaining shocking me or anything awful you feel me...?

Ren: Your- your right... Why am I doing this to a girl like you... Fuck I don't want to be like him, I'm really sorry Adriana I mean Ariana, sorry... Do you hate me for doing this to you?

Me: No. You didn't kill me or anything but you shock me with collar

Ren: I'll take it off of you (Unchain you and take the shock collar off your neck)

Me: Thank you... If you want I'll give you my phone number if you like

Ren: You'll do that...? I can call and text you?

Me: Yes

(Ren hugs me)

Me: You deserve a friend I'll fix you ok I'll send you memes and stuff to me you happy

Ren: Thank you Ariana

(I leave his house)

(I hear the door open it was Ren)

Ren: Ariana you left your purse (walks to me)

I take it: Thanks Ren

(This took forever I was thinking and remembering the some of the lines from BTD2 I did this since July)

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

I'm sorry if this forces you to re-type a bunch of deleted stuff but once you mentioned you had a whole list of what your version of fire and blood volume 1 looked like, I wanted to read it immediately. only if you want to, of course!

Absolutely dude! Let’s see if I can remember it off the top of my head

5. Give every woman mentionned a personality. And actual character. Tbh I think this might just be my base need for any book-

4. A lot more dragons. And a lot more descriptions for all the dragons. I’m still not over how there were FIVE dragons ridden by actual royalty and there wasn’t a single description for any of them!!

3. Spend a lot less of the book simping over Jaehaerys’ reign. We don’t need to know every minute detail of this guy’s life, spend more of that page time on Aegon iii’s reign so we can close it off with his death and the cliffhanger of Daeron’s reign

2. More toxic yuri. I’ve said it last time and Rhaena/Elissa are doing great with their bitter divorce but I need more of that!! I don’t fuck with the dragon show but maybe they were onto something there with Rhaenyra and Alicent!!

1. Have Jaehaerys croak it right before the heir is announced at the council of 101. Just think of the comedy potential: old dude dies before he can announce his heir, and through some looney tunes ass stunt his paper gets destroyed, dance maybe starts a lot sooner cause each party assumes they’re the rightful heir and that the other killed that old man not knowing he just keeled over from old man disease. It’s silly. It’s some kinda justice for me after having to slog through ten thousand pages of that fuckass Jae’s reign <3

[corrodedcoughin]

Hello, so @metal-dads and @kkpwnall made some truly excellent points of Christmas pun lover Eddie and I’m here to add some nonsense

I'm thinking as soon as it turns to the first of December the campaign turns to 'elf-fire' and all of the party has to create elf-sonas. The whole story is that they have to slay Satan, oops sorry, Santa (‘Did you hear that everyone? sleigh? oh, you did? well, I didn't hear any laughing, so I'll say it again and maybe this time you'll get it. oh, you don't find it funny Gareth? well look who has a life-threatening curse that means they are always at half hp, its Ga-wreath the christmas elf! Shut Up! if you appreciated my comedic genius, you wouldn't be in this mess’)

As the weeks go on he slowly adds and adds to his santa costume but none of the red tones match, the beard is just cotton balls glued to an old tshirt and he's doused his hair in talc to make it white that just ends up coating everything when Eddie starts getting into the game and shaking his head at each roll of the dice.

Each time Eddie makes an atrocious christmas pun, be it at the club or out in the wild, the party laugh too enthusiastically, knowing the vengeance he'll take out on them if he doesn't.

Then on the final night, Steve comes to pick the kids up but he's early and outside is freezing so he takes himself inside to sit in on the last part of the campaign. Eddie makes yet another terrible play on festive words and all of 'elf-fire' laugh too loud and too long. When they stop Steve just looks up and states quite plainly and unbothered

'dude, that was shit'

The party go silent, but then they realise, Steve doesn't have a character, he isn't at risk in this situation. They all cheer much to Steve's confusion and Eddie whips his head around, feeling brave in his dungeon master persona. Stares Steve down and mischeviously smiles 'hmm don't like my puns? maybe you should find a way to shut me up then'

and Steve? Steve didn't get his reputation for nothing, sure his heart is beating like a hummingbird, and he feels lightheaded and the thought off what Eddie is proposing but he doesn't let it show, not yet, not when he doesn't know if Eddie is serious

'oh no santa is mad at me, have I been bad?' with a roll of his eyes and smirk of his own.

Eddie turns immediately back to the party face as red as his Santa hat and ploughs back into the game, maybe not so focused as he had been before. The campaign is successful, absolutely annihilating Santa/satan as Eddie dramatically re-enacts the death (‘and to all a good fright ho..ho…ho…AND SCENE’)

If Steve hangs back after the kids file out and gets back to the car with a bashful smile and white powder suspiciously similar to the talc in Eddies hair on his face and clothes well, that's Dustin's mystery to solve. And he will, have no doubts about it.

[jamneuromain]

Can you do the slumber party bingo with Coke turner. The wrong number one?

(I love your writing btw)

Yes Ofc! Thank you for your compliment, it means a lot to me <333（and coke turner really has me laughing out loud which inspires me this:

At A Cost

Cole Turner x You (Reader)

Warning: Fluff, Wrong Number, Miscommunication

Summary: Cole is nervous. He is trying to make a reservation at a restaurant, but a wrong dial and a local cell tower maintenance bring him something totally unexpected.

A/N: My fifth entry to the bingo challenge hosted by @the-slumberparty.

"Hello? Hi. I need to make a reservation for two. Is Wednesday night okay?"

There was a stupid drunk dude who crushed his truck directly into a cell tower this early morning. The tower was not that kind of iron monster on the top of the mountain, rather, this cell tower is a simple pole.

Was a pole, with wires tangled at its base, about seven feet or so.

And now it is down. On the ground. Leaving almost every wired phone in the district unavailable.

Well, unavailable is a strong word. The reality is, since the tower-pole is down, every call towards a landline is directed manually, hence creating a long waiting line and static-buzzing calls.

Cole has been pacing in his room, his balcony, and even the edge of the farm five times, just to wait for someone could patch his call to the new restaurant. He has been on two dates so far and the girl he is dating asked him whether they could go try this restaurant next time.

And of course, he says yes.

"Hello? Hi? Can you hear me?" He has to take away the phone from his ears to make sure that the line is open, and after he is certain that the other end is still on the phone, he re-attaches the phone to his ear, "Hello? Anyone there?"

Static buzz annoyingly irritates his ear, but luckily, he captures someone speaking on the other end of the phone.

"We are fully ... Please hold on, I just saw an... available slot. Does ... work?"

A soft voice rings on the other end of the phone, bringing his thoughts back together. "I'm sorry. When is the slot?"

"Thursday ... pm. Is this okay?"

"I'm sorry, Thursday when?"

"... 7 pm."

"That sounds perfect." Cole lets out a long breath. For a second, he was starting to imagine the disappointment and the frustration of his date, Emily. Who is a very nice girl from L.A., but he accidentally overheard her being mean to someone over the phone after their first date.

He would rather not jump to conclusions without knowing more about Emily. For now, he doesn't want to get on her bad side.

"Can I take ... name please?"

"Yeah, sure. It's Cole. Cole Turner."

"Okay, Mr. Coke."

"Nonono, it's Cole. C-O-L-"

"My apologies, Mr. Cola."

"It's not Cola. It's COLE, COLE TURNER-"

"We'll have your ...-vation on Thursday the 24th, by 7 pm sharp, Mr. Coca Cola. Is this your re-... number?"

This has become extremely frustrating. Even without his date present. He hates dating.

"Just book a table under the name Mr. Turner. And yes, this is my number."

"I'm sorry, Sir. Are you saying you want a table booked under the name ...a ?"

"Sorry?"

"... I'm going to need you ... " static, buzz, "Sir, are you there? I'm ..." buzz "Am I ..."

Before the line goes dead.

Yup, this is going to be perfect.

To add insult to injury, it is not until three hours later that a confirmation text sent to his phone that he realizes, he messed up with the restaurant.

Hi Monica Cola, thank you for booking at restaurant Savory Soiree. Your booking is on 08/24 at 7pm. Enjoy your meal.

Monica Cola??? How the hell did the lady get that name?

And he wasn't intended to book at this Savoir... Something! He meant to call the restaurant named Plate & Grill!

Cole has no other choice but to drive to Plate & Grill, since his phone is completely useless right now, thanks to the idiot drunk guy who crashed his car onto the cell tower-

When he gets there, he is even more speechless when he finds out that the restaurant, which is scheduled to open from 10am to 10 pm today, which is Monday, has a big poster sign outside stating that they are having some problems with the local power grid, and won't be open for another two weeks.

Perfect. Just perfect.

Luckily, Savoir...Savory Soiree is just across the street, but with tinted windows and marble black steps, it seems like a slightly fancier restaurant than the Plate & Grill.

After a few apologies in a phone call, Emily agrees to the change of location.

Which is the start of his more-than-miserable third date.

Before Cole was able to reach the restaurant, he stepped on his toes, tripped himself over once, and banged his arm on the cabinet edge.

He should've taken it as a sign and cancel the date. He really should.

But no. He chooses to wear his nice suit and tie, be there on time despite all odds.

"Welcome to Savory Soiree, do you have a reservation?" A woman at the front desk smiles at him. Even though wearing the white shirt and black bowtie uniform, something about you seems different than the rest of the waiters and waitresses. Cole brushes it off as you look more leisurely working at the reception desk, not needing to take care of multiple guests at once.

Cole hastily takes out his phone, showing you the text message he got, rather than saying his "assigned" name in the text.

"Mr... Ms. Monica Cola?"

You try your best not to laugh, as this was the reservation call you took, and the jumpy phone line only allowed you to capture a few syllables rather than his full name.

"It's Cole-" He explains in a rush to Emily, who is looking at him with a mixture of confusion and doubt, "It's Cole- Bad connection, a drunk guy brought down the cell tower and- Can we get our table please?" Almost desperate, he turns to you for help.

You raise your head from the computer, nodding, "Of course, if you will just follow me."

The interior design of Savory Soiree is similar to its outside. With dim yellow glow and a glass jar of candlelight on the table. Dark tiles and dark leather sofas instead of regular chairs. Simple black-leather covered menu with two sheets of paper, containing the French-Italian fusion dishes with a few words of explanation. White plates with golden rims. Even the knives and forks are warm to the touch.

In a cute floral dress, Emily fidgets on her seat.

"Hey. You look amazing." Cole reaches out to take her hand, calming her nerves, "I heard that the lobster here is pretty good."

Emily looks over her shoulder, but doesn't take away her hand.

"I'm sure it does." She manages a smile, withdrawing her arm from his touch as soon as you approach their table.

"Hi, are you ready to order?" You step near with an iPad, "Would you like to start with some drinks? We've got excellent wine, both red and white. If you would prefer some non-alcoholic drinks, we have soft drinks and water."

"Yeah." "No." Cole and Emily say the same time.

They look at each other. Emily looks down at the menu again.

Cole quickly amends his words, "I think we are going to need a couple more minutes. Thank you."

"No problem." You gesture at the side of the table, where there is a small silver button visible, "If you are ready to order, just press this. I'll be with you shortly."

Then you walk away, leaving Cole and Emily at the table.

For the rest of the shift, you were called to the kitchen to help out with inventory. The tables originally assigned to you were allocated to other waiters and waitresses.

It is after an hour and a half that you finally finish all your work and clock out. "Clock out" is more of an overstatement. It is only eight forty in the night and plenty of guests sitting by the table. But none of that is your concern.

After all, you were only here to help out with this "short-staff" situation during rush hours.

You are waiting for your ride home when you notice the man standing right next to you.

"You're ... Cole, right?" Fairly certain of his name this time, you open up to talk, "I was originally gonna serve your table but I got called to the back. Did you enjoy your food?"

Cole takes a little while to realize who you are.

"Oh sure. The food is great. Excellent. The Osso Buco? Perfect. I haven't had such soft and juicy veal for a long time. Pricey, but worth the cost."

He can't help but sigh at the end.

"Ok-ay. Is it anything else you're not satisfied with, if I may ask?"

Mr. Coca Cola does spike your interest. He doesn't strike you as the type of rich folks who would normally come to your restaurant to eat. His suit and his wristwatch say so. Not to mention his plus-one, looking far from blending in.

Cole chuckles at your persistence, "It's not your place that's the problem. Date gone wrong, that's all."

It has gone wrong. Terribly wrong.

Emily didn't like this fancy place and everyone speaking in a low voice. She moved around on the chair as if she had nails under her ass. And when her dish arrived, she claimed avocado is harmful to the earth environment - even though she ordered the dish herself.

She was worrying over the price of this meal. And at the end of this date, after continuously worrying and fidgeting, she gasped in shock at the bill and told the waiter they must be overcharging.

And ran out of this place as fast as she could.

He eyes you somewhat curiously, "I thought you guys would be working till close, like, 10 pm, if not later."

"Nah, I'm just here to help out." But you feel bad about his date and the terrible choice his date made for her dress.

Sundress and fancy restaurant don't really go well.

So you shrug and give him a sheet of paper with your name and number, "Call me, if you want to eat here again. I can get you a slot."

"Y/N Y/L/N..." He mutters your name. Cole doesn't really believe that a waitress, no offense, can get him a decent booking for Savory ... Savoir, or something. But as your ride stops in front of you, he doesn't really believe that a young waitress could get a chauffer to open the door for her and get on a fancy BMW either.

But he really wants to eat here again. The tasty veal and the marvelous red wine made sure of that.

"You don't look like you work for this restaurant." Cole places the piece of paper carefully in his pocket, tugging at his tie because his throat feels dry all of a sudden. Gesturing at your ride and your coat, he grins, "You're not gonna be Hannibal, are you?"

You choke out a laugh, "No promises."

"As long as veal is on the table," He purses his lips, posing a care-free expression, "I'd do anything for a slot."

"Right." You don't buy that. Not a single bit. "Nice meeting you, Mr. Coca Cola."

"It's Cole-" He snorts at this inside joke.

When you wave and roll up the car window, telling your chauffer to drive.

Find my The Slumber Party Present Bingo Challenge here 👈

Questions? Comments? Requests? 👉Send them to my inbox 👂

[grumpycakes]

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT.

DAY 4 • October 20, 2023 • Third Vote, bye bye Jordan

< Previous (Day 3 Oops No Vote)

HOOO BOY MY DUDES.

So for some reason they planned this vote at 10am (cause they hate the west coasters??? Oh. Oh wait yeah, they probably wanted to make it more inconvenient so people want to get it done.)

Also C-Span hecked up??? And didn’t come on till a bit into ten and while the ALTERNATE CHAPLIN WAS ALREADY PRAYING.

This guy is NOT NICE CHILL LADY CHAPLIN. He sounds chill, but he said shit about "We need more of you (God)," and "[Lord] Lead us in your will." which again AGAIN. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. AT LEAST nice Lady Chaplin asks god to lead us for what is best for the people. WHERE IS OUR NICE LADY CHAPLIN.

They do the pledge and then do their "Call of the House" (head count buzz in to make sure they have a Quorum/majority of the reps). This also serves to find out what the total number is to base the needed votes for a majority. This is why they let the timer lapse around as long as it was going, to make sure they have all the votes possible for better chances at getting majority.

C-Span actually had journalist/reporters going today??? Which they hadn't all week. But good info was had that I'll add in the takeaways. Made me jump tho during roll call rofl.

We hear that one Republican is out on a """Fact Finding Mission to Israel""" and he is one that votes Jordan so, not great for that. Apparently NORMALLY there are 435 seats for a majority of 218 votes needed, but there's been 2 vacancies so that's why it's been 433. 2 Democrat Representatives are out (V. Gonzales and Payne, no word why but not really an issue). Roll ends with 427 Present (Which would mean 214 to have a majortiy but by final vote it was 429 votes, so really only 4 ppl MIA instead of 6 and 215 needed)

SPEECHES

lolol So McCarthy gave this nomination speech for Jordan and like, I know they don't hate each other but I hope that hurt.

Says, contrary to Dem talking points, Jordoran is an effective legislator (WHICH GETS FUCKING LAUGHTER, AMAZING)

Continues that the Speakership is about compromise and working long hours to get it done (implying Jordan can and has done these things) GETTING MORE LAUGHTER AND CHATTER and McHenry even fucking calls us to order about it lol

"Democrats are attacking Jim" because they don't want secure borders (my dude it is YOUR PARTY not electing him)

Called Jordan selfless (DOUBTFUL)

Quotes people who worked with or under him (stupid and ofc only the good ones)

Goes into an example of Jordan and like, man I hate the way McCarthy speaks/tells stories/way he talks. Grates on my nerves

We've got a job to do (yeah, yet you seem incapable so far)

Does more Jabs at democrats cuase he's exhausting and desperate to blame anyone but his party

BLessedly not the longest but still annoying

Clark, Rep of Massachussets is here to give us a speech (OOOooo she's new to me)

Blah blah 212 consistently, we rock and are united

Republicans are disconnected from the people

Pointed out Jordan voted against healthcare for Mothers, chlidren, elderly and Veterans (haha which got angry dissent noises, sucks to suck)

Also notes he voted against lowering the cost of insulin multiple times

That he's a reproductive healthcare extremist

Reminds us Jordan's an election denier, misinformation spreader, and a threat to our democracy

American people want us to work for them and re-open the house, but the republicans keep fighting each other instead

blissfully short and with a good pace and snappy delivery, I like you Clark

The fucking dems started chanting Jeffries name again and this time McHenry tried to gavel them back to order but tHEY STARTED CHANTING LOUDER FASTER TILL THEY DEVOLVED INTO CHEERING. and Honestly, go off since you have to keep coming back to this bs

VOTING COMMENCES 429 Present • 215 To win •

Jordan can only lose 3 votes

NOTABLE VOTES (key: *change in voing, + same as last vote)

Bacon - McHenry * (Voted for McCarthy last vote, AND WE'RE OFF)

Bilirakis - Jordan +

Bost - MIA/Votes Jordan on recall

Buchannon - Donalds + (-2 votes)

Buck - Emmer + (-3 Jordan can't lose any more votes)

Chavez-DeRemer - McHenry* (-4 murmuring from crowd cause Jordan has lost)

Cohen - "For the 18th time Jeffries" (gets laughter about it)

Conolly - Did his long sentence for Jeffries

D'Esposito - Zelden + (someone tried to clap about it rofl)

Diaz-Balart - Scalise +

Elllsey - Mike Garcia +

Ferguson - Scalise +

Fitzpatrick - McHenry* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE WOO)

Fox - MIA/Votes for Jordan on recall

Garbarino - Zelden +

Gimenez -McCarthy + (loll one of the few that doesn't switch to McHenry)

Gonzales (T) - McCarthy +

Gonzales (V) - MIA/does not vote on recall

Granger - Scalise +

Hunt - MIA/does not vote on recall

Isa - Votes for Jordan but is standing in the democrat side, so the house is temporarily confused at a vote for jordan coming from there, laughter ensues)

James - Donalds* (Voted for Candace Miller of MI last time)

Hearty cheers when Jeffries votes for himself, lack luster cheers and polite clapping when Jordan votes for himself

Kean NJ - McCarthy (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE-)

Kelly PA - Scalise* (Oh we decided against Boehner this time???)

Kiggans - McHenry* (haha i'm loving all these people dropping McCarthy for his bud)

Kilde - gets claps for voting Jeffries, unsure why

LaLota - Zelden +

LaMalfa - Jordan + (sticking to it)

Lawler - McHenry* (voted for Granger last time)

MccCarthy - Jordan (gets none attention haha)

Miller-Meeks - McHenry* (Voted Granger last time)

Molinaro - Zelden* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE W-)

Payne - MIA/does not vote on recall

Pelosi gets claps for voting but they're not crazy

Rutherford - Scalise +

Scalise - Jordan +

Spartz - Jordan +

Stauber - Westerman +

VanOrden - MIA/Does not vote on recall (out)

Vargas - yells Jeffries and gets laughter for it

Womack - Scalise +

Recall happens and McHenry does the normal, talk to vote talliers if you missed voting or need to change ur vote.

429 Voted • 215 to win

Jordan - 194 votes (HE LOST 3 MORE PEOPLE)

Jeffries - 210 votes (2 dems missing)

Scalise - 8 votes

McHenry - 6 votes (McHenry laughs as he gets cheers for it and does gently call for order)

Zelden - 4

Donalds - 2 votes

McCarthy - 2 votes

Emmer - 1 vote

Garcia (M) - 1 vote

Westerman - 1 vote

NO MAJORITY, NO SPEAKER CHOSEN McHenry immediately calls recess

TAKEAWAYS AND NEWS

The thursday closed meeting was 4 HOURS and Jordan had a SECONDARY MEETING with the holdouts for 2 MORE HOURS after that. DURING that meeting Jordan was REPORTEDLY told "He'd never be speaker."

Spartz had said that she'd back Jordan one more time, but if he lost again she would vote for someone else.

Jordan supporters said something to the effect of, It's not Jordan's fault Republicans who don't vote for him are getting death threats, it's their fault for not voting for Jordan. (AND LIKE HELLO???) Another Republican lady was like, I get death threats all the time, and I'm sorry for them but suck it up, so .. a lot of sypmathy.

Gaetz and the other 8 repubs that voted to ouster McCarthy (sealing his fates as none of the dems would vote for him) have come forwar offering themselves if that's what it takes to get Jordan nominated. Offering that they'd take sanctions and removal from the conference (basically getting kicked out of the party though they're saying they'd still be repubs??? and it would kick them off of their committee seats... so could we do it anyway??? llol). Gaetz says that he thinks this BS is actually GOOD GOVERNING (sure Jan) and tHEN ASKS, What else do they want, except a pound of our flesh?" (Which like... they want NOT FUCKING J JORDAN AS THE SPEAKER)

Jeffries did a Press conference and offers bipartisan stuff but like, man am I sicsik of that being kinda empty cause the Repubs will never and the Dems wont sacrifice human rights, so it's a moot point.

A lot of Republicans were defending this BS by pointing out how may times McCarthy had to run the vote but like THAT WAS ALSO BAD AND A SHIT SHOW

It was PROJECTED that Jordan would lose 5-8, 10max, voters, he only lost three but still

THE LAST TIME SOMEONE GOT THIS LOW OF VOTES WAS 1923, FINNIS GARRET GOT 195 VOTES. JORDAN SURPASSED HIM... MAKING HISTORY....

Brian Tyler Cohen made a interesting correlation of Jordan being an election denier making sense as he was refusing to accept his losses.

AFTERMATH

The Republicans held another closed door meeting (THEY'VE BEEN CALLING THEM ""FAMILY MEETINGS"") where they held an anonymous vote as to whether or not Jordan should continue as the nominee. HE FUCKING LOST in his OWN PARTY'S MEETING.

HE HAS removed himself as a nominee. We are back to square one.

McHenry announced that they were taking a 72/weekend break and would be back on monday to do a candidate forum (to some dissent, and many lawmakers just WANT THIS DONE WITH)

The repubs that have offered themselves as tribute

(With the assumption that they are boilerplate Repubs. over LGBTQ+, Abortion, Taxes, Immigration, etc etc. *Election denier means they have made statements, did not support the ratifying of the electoral college votes, voted against impeachment and investigations.)

Tom Emmer - not an election denier at minimum, current GOP Whip (assistant leader)

Kevin Hern - Already tried before Scalise got nominated and dropped out (election denier)

Austin Scott - Was close to Jordan in numbers for the repub speaker nominee (didn't argue electoral college shit and has said USA voting is solid, but didn't go after Jan 6/trump)

Byron Donalds - the dude the Fuckaround 8 kiiinda backed against McCarthy in JAN. (election denier)

Jack Bergman - apparently wanted to challenge Jordan but didn't, JUMPED when jordan was out (election denier)

Jodey Arrington - only said he was considering, but apparently others have brought him up as an option (election denier)

Mike Johnson - has been calling around to see if ppl support him as speaker (election denier)

Pete Sessions - ALSO jumped when jordan was out (election denier)

FINAL THOUGHTS

So ends our sordid tale of Jim Jordan. May he feel stupid about this for the rest of time.

No Republican speaker is going to be good but jfc can we not have literal government destroyers????

I guess the pass on the budget was for 45 days, we have spent 18 (to be 20) of them on this bs.

SHOULD I KEEP NAMING THESE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO since it is still technically the 2nd speaker vote of this congress, or should I name it something else now that Jordan is out?

Next (Starting Over) >

[isekai-crow]

Mashle: Magic and Muscle Season 1 Re-Cap + Season 2 - Episode 1

Other Episodes-> ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5

This anime shits all over JKR in the best way possible. Highly Recommended if you can make it through the 2nd half of Season 1.

Overall Rating So Far: 8/10 with hopes it will stay there.

For comparison, season 1 ended up 6/10. TToTT as to why...

I'm writing this while re-watching season one, and maaaaan what a strong start Season 1 had!! 9/10 for the first 4 episodes!!

How is this avoiding copyright? I don't know but I fully support it.

I LOVE MASH AND HIS REALISTIC TAKES.

The pacing got completely thrown off after episode 5. Did we really need those fight to be THAT long and drawn out?? No. I get that animation studios are limited in how far into the manga they can go in a given season, but I would have preferred anime original filler over 2 episodes of metal punch dude, and the whole "chamber of secrets" esque episodes...

Despite being sorely disappointed by the second half of season 1, I did finish it. Starting episode 1 of Season 2, I completely forgot where the last episode had left off and it hasn't even been that long!! I had to laugh at just how much my brain had tuned out by the end, which is sad, because this is such an amazing premise.

HOWEVER

SEASON 2 EPISODE 1 BROUGHT BACK THE DRIVE TO WATCH!!

The first episode of season 2 doubles down on poking ALL sorts of holes in the plot of Harry Potter and sidestepping any massive overlaps to avoid copyright. BUT IT'S SO OBVIOUS, I LOVE IT.

May I introduce you to...

"Harry Potter with just enough serial numbers filed off to avoid a lawsuit." - Capybara

Spoilers for Episode 1 Below the Cut

We started off with a small recap of the end of season 1 and honestly I don't remember most of it happening.

Woo they beat the Tom Riddle/Abel Walker, Woo they won tons of points for their dormitory, Woo Mash's super special "magic spell" the Suplex!!!

But oh no! There is a rumor that Mash can't use magic has gotten out! To be fair, it was only a matter of time. Bicep Smash Magic can only get you so far lolol.

The little celebration party is very cute, and suddenly Abel and Abyss show up, and Mash is just totally chill with them joining in their party. Abel even brought a deck of cards and they're playing bullshit of all games lmfao

Personally I want to know why Dot has his mouth and face all bandaged up, but I assume that's Lemon's doing for some reason or another lol

Let me just say, I love Abel and Abyss. Abel is terrifying and carrying around his creepy doll and freaking Finn out, and literally just wants to have fun with everyone. He's far more incompetent, or maybe just normal? than he seems. And cares about Abyss!! And Abyss is doing his best to take care of his master, and thanks Mash for stopping them both. And can't talk to women!!

We love a traumatized bishonen.

Mash gets called to the Bureau of Magic and basically gets called a Mudblood to his face for not having magic and is being sentenced to death.

AND DRACO MALFOY SHOWS UP TO SAVE HIM.

You cannot dissuade me that this isn't another Draco.

And of course, to counter Draco/Ryoh Grantz, we get Knock Off Harry Potter and gang!

Neville with a dragon? Snow girl is Luna? The one with the book is Hermione? Obviously these are also original characters and there is no one to one with characters, but it's fun to try and place them.

Fake Harry Potter / Orter Madel says the most Not Harry Potter thing ever, and its hilarious that a character known for going against the rules has a caricature doing exactly the opposite.

Fuckin' mood Mash. Where the hell did RON come from??? ah.. his only purpose is to narrate what's happening. Makes sense.

The magi-parasite shows up, mob deals with, and it should be a done deal, but Orter continues to push the issue as Ryoh tries to stop him.

Will Mash be taken away and executed? He's not budging. Will Draco and Harry fight? What will become of Mash now that Dumbledore and Finn's Big Bro have shown up?

Until Next Time..

What the fuck is this show I love it so much.

[teecupangel]

Just came to me even though I saw the D&D movie ages ago (along with a few re-watches) and- Ezio would either love or hate D&D bards so much. They're bards- something he hates; but they also have the spell Vicious Mockery which he really, really loves/wants. Killing his enemies by just trash-talking them? Might be the only redeemable thing about these newfangled magical bards.

Oh god, yes, Ezio would have complicated feelings for bards soooo much because he hates minstrels in canon.

But also: (me vibrating at finally being able to talk about my AC D&D ideas)

I have been thinking of how Desmond and his ancestors would play D&D and, really, when you think about it, these guys would be multiclassing different kinds of Rogues.

So my idea is:

Altaïr:

Main class: Rogue, focus on stealth, intimidation and loves sneak attacks.

Secondary class: either Soulknife or Artificer as a reference to the power of the Apple and his legacy of creating tools and devices beyond what should be available during his time. Go Soulknife route if you want him to be more on the side of hidden death, go artificer for more utility.

I did think of making him an Arcane Trickster but the spells of an Arcane Trickster are more about deceiving targets and Altaïr is less of a deceiver and more of a stealth-based assassin. (Unless you play him as more on the side of ‘fuck stealth, let’s chase our targets!’)

Ezio:

Since he wasn’t trained to be an Assassin since birth in canon, we can make a case of Ezio having a different main class with Rogue being his subclass. It would be funny if we make Bard his main class OR Ezio could be one of those d&d players who decide to multiclass… a lot of classes. It’s a risky move but definitely something teenage Ezio could do (ah, the hubris of a rich noble youth).

Hell, he could have decided to be a bard to get Cristina’s attention XD

I didn’t see Edgin’s stat block (because I don’t wanna sign up for D&D beyond) but my headcanon is Edgin leans heavily to Charisma and Ezio would be the same.

Definitely the party’s main healer XD

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Main class: Druid for Wild Shape as reference to the DLC and his natural affinity to nature.

Possible Druid Circle choices: Circle of the Land would be the safest choice as it works well with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s connection to his land (Grasslands has Pass Without Trace which is super good for stealth checks) BUT Circle of the Moon focuses on Wild Shape combat which would make Ratonhnhaké:ton more formidable in any of his Wild Shape forms.

Secondary Class: Rogue (or maybe Ranger or Fighter? Barbarian is also possible but Fighter gets freaking Extra Attacks). But, as a Rogue, he focuses more on investigation. Definitely the "I look for traps" type of player.

He’s definitely their main attacker AND he can transform into a bear OR an owlbear.

Desmond:

For Desmond, it would be fun if he did start off as a Rogue as a reference to how he was raised on the Farm but immediately focused on his secondary class as soon as it was available.

Possible secondary class: Arcane Trickster with Warlock because of the whole ‘spells to deceive targets’ kinda vibes with his whole ‘deceiving everyone that I’m just a normal dude’. I picked Warlock because now he has to have a patron that will grant him magic and it could be an Isu (Minerva is the most common choice but… Juno is also there XD). He can also be an Oathbreaker Paladin multiclass I guess? It doesn’t really work all that well since Oathbreakers are usually seen as ‘evil’ for breaking their oath to their god but if Desmond’s god is Juno, he has all the reason to be an Oathbreaker.

If you want Desmond to be a DM, his character will be a high-level DMPC and more like Xenk who helps out the players for a brief period and pops in and out. Oh, oh, oh! His DMPC could be the tavern owner who works as kinda like a secretary to the party and keeps all the quest requests they get because they always return to his tavern after every adventure to drink and relax. The hint that he’s a high-leveled DMPC could be that an 18+ roll to persuade him to give them drinks for free did not work.

Possible DMs:

Of course, depending on who their DM (if it's not Desmond) would be, the restriction of certain spells could be lifted so, for example, Ratonhnhaké:ton could be a Circle of the Moon Druid but have been allowed to have ‘Pass without Trace’.

I honestly think Clay would be a good ‘I’ll allow it’ kind of DM who thrives in chaos and improvisation, letting them go off track.

Shaun would also be a flexible DM but he tends to railroad them when he’s excited because he thought of a good plot.

Rebecca feels more like she prefers to be a player than a DM tbh.

Lucy would be a rules-lawyer type of DM. Always asking if they have the ingredients they need for spells and such but doesn’t like to KO players.

Malik would also side with the rules more often than not but it’s more to keep his side organized and he let them get away with a lot of things if he thinks it’s particularly an interesting idea.

Leonardo would be the type of DM who would remember all the rules but only cherry-pick whichever rules he wants to implement. Might also be the type of DM to level them up by milestone instead of EXP.

It would be funny if Kadar is the one who has a habit of TPKO-ing not because he’s being mean but because he overestimates everyone’s characters (especially Altaïr’s)

Possible Races:

I really, really like the idea that they’re all Kenkus because the bird motif is right there! But instead of being corvids birds, they’re different kinds of eagles.

Maybe Ratonhnhaké:ton is half-Kenku instead with Haytham being a Kenku while Kaniehtí:io is another race (Wood Elf would be the most common chance but Eladrin or Owlin are also good choices imho). Of course, this would mean Half-Kenku would have to be homebrewed.

If you don’t want Kenku and don’t want them to be one of the more common races (humans, elves, etc), Aarakocra (birdfolk) would be good as well (which has a +2 on Dex is rogues need to excel in and can fly). Kenkus also have +2 on Dex too btw and they can't fly (it's part of their backstory, wishing they could fly again).

Altaïr can also be a Genasi as the whole ‘descendant of djinns’ background of a Genasi would be a reference to his birthplace in canon. Personality-wise, Altaïr would probably be a Fire Genasi, especially if his personality is based on the beginning parts of AC1.

Alright, for Desmond, if you don’t want him to be a Kenku, human might be a good idea as a jack-of-all-trades kind of thing (+1 to all). BUT if you want to lean into his connection to the Isus, Aasimar would be your best choice with Protector Aasimar having Radiant Soul at level 3 which will give Desmond wings (and glowing eyes) for 1 minute in combat. Or, if you want a reference to how Desmond burned, Scourge Aasimar’s Radiant Consumption is more or less a burst of divine energy that erupts from the Aasimar, with the description including “threaten to char you”. If you want to go down the “William Miles tried to make him a soldier” route, Desmond could be a ‘failed’ Warforged which would make him a bulky (and most probably the tank) rogue. Also… ‘absolutely normal NPC tavern owner’ turns out to be an Aasimar or a Warforged would be a funny plot twist.

Other Notes:

Edward is a swashbuckler rogue. Even if he's already a grandpa, he would definitely play with them.

Ratonhnhaké:ton's character's father could be based on his real father OR could be based on his father's own D&D character (if he plays)

Bill plays D&D too but Desmond absolutely does not invite him. Ever. His books and dice did come from Bill though.

Ezio has the most expensive dice. They’re super pretty.

Ratonhnhaké:ton prefers to buy dice made by small-time creators. Would definitely join Kickstarter projects for dice that look cool or are nature-themed.

Altaïr would probably have metallic dice.

They have a banned 20d. It ‘always’ gives nat 1 during critical times and give nat 20 for the most mundane insignificant rolls.

(whispers) if you like TTRPG, I made starting character sheets for a Blades in the Dark AU.

[totallyexhausted]

Heahcanon for JJK Kid!Megumi/ Dad!Gojo sickfic that my computer deleted that I'm thinking about re-writing...

okay so i know i had at one point (like climax of story) Megumi ( i think no older than 12- maybe like 9/ 10... idk) basically being one of those overly emotional and exhausted kiddos. Like his fever is high, he keeps puking, he's sticky and sweaty- Gojo gave him a bath earlier and meds---- but maybe because megs is overly exhausted he can't sleep, or you could have the noisy neighbors aspect (like they are throwing a party or something so everytime Megs goes to fall asleep or starts to relax, the music gets louder which jolts him awake and stuff). Anyway, Gojo has been walking around his apt with Megumi in his arms for over an hour or two because the kid will not stop cryin g(like that loud overly exhausted/ emotional crying kids do) and he's clinging to Gojo (something alarming in itself, and megs keeps crying about how he wants his sister - in my timeline, Tsumiki is already in the hosp and stuff). And Gojo is trying his best to calm the kid down but lets be real, this man is lost most of the time like if Reigen had to take care of Mob, like bruh. Anyway, he lowers infinity at some point and Megumi clings tighter to him, his hot fingers gripping Gojo's shirt/ arms and stuff- and Gojo starts panicking because touch...... eventually Megs falls asleep and Gojo continues walking around his apt (it's like 3/4 am) for a little while for good measure, the kid sagging against him, his tiny fingers still clasped around Gojo before the older man deposits the kid in Gojo's bed (i think i might make it where Meg was pretty sick and accidents happen dude), and basically Gojo lays the kid out on his bed before going into the bathroom and having a panic attack because this is the first time he's lowered infinity in quiet a while. Then he has a flashback to him cleaning Megs scrapped knees and hands or like a busted lip or something a few months back because Megs always got into fights (its a caring situation but also funny.... maybe Megumi defended someone and Gojo actually felt proud of him) and that brings Gojo back/ down from his PA. Eventually he falls asleep next to Megumi, the kid nuzzles in closer next to him when Gojo lays down next to him (at first, Gojo is like, ew child... but I think he'd offer comfort if Meg wanted it) and he rubs his back (because im a sucker for that soft affection), and falls asleep. He wakes up (idk probably like 1pm or something) to tiny fingers poking his cheek and he cracks an eye open to Megumi hovering over him demanding Gojo make toast. Gojo yawns, sitting propping his head up slightly, raising an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

Megumi, kneeling next to him- "Toast. Make some."

Gojo, smirking slightly, "I see the fever burned away all your manners."

Basically ending on a funny sweet note 🙂

But the start or at least the run down, i had i think Gojo knowing the kid was sick and Megumi being like, no, im fine. And Gojo still kind of hovers (like he makes sure the kid eats, takes meds, that kind of stuff) and then later in the night Megs gets obvi worse.

And like i had a few flashbacks- Megs and Gojo meeting/ Gojo "saving" Megumi from his Devil Dogs (because it was around the first times Megumi summoned them- like he didnt have control over them and they scared him because he's like 5/6). and Gojo being like, "No, it's okay. See? They won't hurt you..."

Basically theyre puppies lol

Then another flashback to Megs visiting Tsumiki, and Gojo would take him to visit when he wanted, but he'd wait in the hallway to give the kid space.

I kind of want one too where Gojo defends Megs, or like he punches another parent (like the kid got into a fight with Megs over something and Megumi was in the right, but the parent said something about Megumi like, "no wonder the kid's fucked up" or something, and Gojo gets mad (maybe he presses Megs behind him) and he ends up punching the parent or something). idk lol

[the-lil-exorcist]

Time for a Re-ban

PARTIES:@the-lil-exorcist and @uncannysam TIME: Recent WHERE:  Wendy's SUMMARY:  Lil finally gets unbanned from Wendy's! Unfortunately for Lil and Sam, Steve never got rid of that poltergeist :/ WARNINGS: Unsanitary tw

Sam was craving a Frosty. Not vanilla or that new creamsicle thing that was out, but the OG…chocolate. And considering she hadn’t had dinner yet, she figured she would treat herself to some spicy nuggies and fries as well. But first, she had to lock up and take Scout upstairs. This, unfortunately, would not be a Scout thread, as dogs aren’t allowed in fast food establishments.

Once she had said goodbye to the best boy, Sam made her way back downstairs and out to her Bronco. Climbing in, she started up the truck and put on Simple Plan as she left the parking lot and headed towards Wendy’s, “Chocolate Frosty and chicken nuggies here I come!” She could already see it being the best part of her day.

Sam had lucked into a spot near the front door. Shutting off the engine, she climbed out and started making her way to the front door, but as she did, she could see some commotion just within the doorway, “I swear if someone ruins my chance at spicy nuggies, I’m gonna riot...” The comment was under her breath more or less, but after a rough day of one rude customer after another, she was being serious.

—

Lil was having a fantastic day. Her decade ban from Wendy’s was going to be done and she was grinning ear to ear at the idea that she could just walk in and get a frosty no problem. She even told Jonas excitedly, marking it down on a calendar that for the first time in her adult life she wasn’t banned from Wendy’s. 

It didn’t occur to her that the Wendy’s location that she had picked had been the one that the owner was still weary of her. “Steve - Steve I’m not banned anymore - You can’t just throw me out.” Lil said, trying to reason with the franchise owner. “Oh god I have the letter and everything.” 

The manager didn’t look amused and Lil was getting more and more angry. “Dude really? Look at the letter my ban is lifted. Just let me have the frosty.” Lil couldn’t hear the ghost sitting behind the counter laughing, knowing that Lil was about to get banned again as the lights flickered a little.

_

Squeezing her eyes together, as much as she didn’t want to end up in the middle of an argument, Sam reluctantly opened the door. If she wanted her nuggies meal and Frosty, she was gonna have to make it past this commotion. Just keep your head down. You can make it. Just a few hundred feet, and you’re in the clear.

Sam had her eyes on the prize. The counter where the cashier was looking on at the argument going on, in amusement, along with the rest of the kitchen staff. Apparently, Sam had chosen a slow time to come in. But that didn’t matter. She wanted her food dammit, and food is what she was going to get.

As took a deep breath and let out a heavy, low sigh, she cautiously moved forward keeping her head low. No sense in looking the beast right in the eye, when it would just draw attention to herself. No, the key was to be sly. As sly as…

_

Lil’s eyes went up to the flickering lights squinting at them and then back at Steve. “So you going to serve me?” His eyes flickered up as well and back at Lil staring at the letter in her hand she could see he was wavering. 

“Fine, Kid but if you do something weird again - I’m never letting you back in no matter what corporate says god it? ,” He said in a gruff voice signaling her to get closer so she could order. After all, she wasn’t seventeen anymore and even back then she had been a good kid - just messed up the frosty machine somehow.

For a moment Lil looked stunned that it had worked - something finally looking up as she heelied up to the front with a smile on her face. Something genuine and actually excited and not her normal half smile. For a moment she looked her age again, the dark circles disappearing. 

“Alright alright alright,” She said, her hand going to the counter as she started ordering the frosty. Once Lil turned slightly to see the woman behind her she continued, “Hey I’m having a great day - what do you want? Pass it on and everything.” 

The ghost whispered trying to get Lil’s attention, wanting the exorcist to notice him - and Lil heard nothing causing a little electric spark to go through the lights above. She wasn’t going to ignore him again. 

_

“Uh, yeah, sure, if you’re offering.” Sam had made it successfully, but had still been noticed. At least it hadn’t been in a ‘please help me convince this man to let me into the store’ kind of thing. That’s what had worried her, but instead of zigging, the situation zagged, and now, she was about to get dinner for free, “8 piece spicy nugget, medium fry, and large chocolate Frosty?” She hoped that wouldn’t be too much, and if it was, she was fine paying for her own food and would still find a way to pay it forward.

It wasn’t until she was standing at the counter, that she noticed the lights flickering above. And while it had caught her attention, she hadn’t thought anything about it. The building was old, right? Probably the first and only Wendy’s built in Wicked’s Rest.

Letting her eyes drift back down, Sam looked to Lil attempting to make small talk, “So great day for Wendy’s huh? You come here often?” Yes, she had heard the conversation, but her nerves had easily gotten the better of her, causing her to sound like an idiot, “Shit…sorry, I…yeah.” Sam looked down at the floor trying to stifle an unexpected laugh from her ignorance.

—

Lil nodded and added it to the order feeling delighted in herself that she was finally getting a win. She was pretty sure everyone needed a win lately as she paid for it. Leaning against the counter waiting for the frosty and the other’s food. 

At the question Lil chuckled, “No actually I’m not here often but hey! That can change now. See when I was a teen I got banned and bans only last for like ten years so I’m back now.” She said with a little grin. “Sorry - my name’s Lil - Lil Ballard and you caught me on a good day. Not everyday I can come in and get my own frosty. So are you new in town or have you been here awhile?”  

The ghost shook the frosty machine slightly wanting the exorcist's attention. It wasn’t fair that he was still here and that she hadn’t noticed him yet yelling out loud at the audacity. He wanted someone to talk to and this medium was going to recognize him or he would do something about it.

_

Sam raised her head and listened intently at the story of how the woman standing in front of her was banned. Even though she didn’t know her and hadn’t seen her around, Sam had felt bad for her. She couldn’t imagine living a decade without Frostys. That must have been so hard, “Whoa! An entire decade without the chocolatey goodness of a Frosty? I don’t know how you did it. And that’s not me being sarcastic, by the way. If I’m having a shit day, Frostys always seem to make it better. I’m glad you know this freedom again. And hey, thanks for dinner.” She smiled warmly. “Name’s Sam, Sam Walker. I moved here with my parents when I was about nine. What about you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

The shaking of the Frosty machine had caught Sam’s attention. Shifting her eyes from Lil, she couldn’t help but stare; her heart rate picking up slightly at the fear of this easily becoming a McDonald’s situation. “Speaking of, I really hope the machine isn’t about to die. I think we both came here with one thing on our mind, and I’m not ready to walk out of here empty handed.” She motioned towards the vibrating machine with her head.

—

“Oh my brother usually will come in and get me one, but it’s not the same you know?” Lil said knowing that Jonas never minded, but it didn’t feel the same. “They really do, don't they? They aren't too sweet and I really just like them a lot. - Oh really? Yeah I’m originally from here too, but I left for like ten years. Unrelated to the frosty thing to be clear.” Lil chuckled. “Nice to meet you Sam and no problem at all.” 

Lil’s eyes focused on the frosty machine a light frown on her face. “It better not - I would like to have a frosty.” Something felt off, a weird sort of feeling in the pit of Lil as she felt the room getting colder. She hadn’t noticed it before - too excited about the frosty - but she could feel it now as the machine rattled more in it’s place. 

“Oh not again,” Lil muttered under her breath as she leaned on the counter looking over to see a ghost grinning at her. “No - don’t you dare.- Not again you little brat.” Her hand going to her pocket to get salt to quickly dissipate the ghost for now she didn’t pay attention to how the machine sounded a weird keening noise as it started to vibrate at a higher frequency. 

___

“Yeah, I get that. And unless you’re waiting outside or in the car, it’s usually melted somewhat by the time it makes it back to you. Not to say that melted Frostys aren’t good as well, but you know…not the same.” Sam laughed. “That was nice of your brother. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you can get your own Frostys now though.”

Sam had noticed the frown start to come over Lil’s face. If both girls had a feeling, this couldn’t be good right, “Did it just get colder in here?” She looked around as if to spot the culprit of the coldness, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Turning her attention back to Lil, Sam narrowed her eyes, “Lil…” Trying to understand what the woman was seeing, she looked towards the Frosty machine immediately noticing the noise. “Is everything okay…” It didn’t take long for the barely noticeable shake to turn into something more intricate and a little on the scary side. “I don’t think we should be this close…” And with that, Sam slowly started to back away, along with one of the employees who was just about to approach the machine.

—

“Exactly frosty’s are always good but having one in hand is just the best,” Lil said as the place got more and more hostile. 

She had been so sure she’d gotten the poltergeist last time. She could have sworn she did, but perhaps she hadn’t? Maybe it was a new ghost and this Wendy’s just hosted a lot of ghost vibes. Maybe spirits loved frosty’s just as much as the living did. 

In anycase, she could understand - but it didn’t change the fact she got a sinking feeling this was about to be her fault again. Lil’s hand reached for the salt, but before she could pour it out on the ghost, the machine started worryingly vibrating more and her eyes moved to it. Hearing Sam’s warning she moved backwards ducking at the counter just in time as the frosty machine exploded. 

Chocolate Frosty went everywhere as Lil tried to shield herself pulling the nearest cashier down with her so they didn’t get hit badly. 

Again. Lil had a frosty machine explode at her again. She really needed to teach Wendy’s to ghost proof their places as she said “Sam - you okay? Is everyone okay?” She asked as she felt the ghost’s presence behind her. 

Lil couldn’t hear it but she could feel him snickering. “Oh Pal I’m going to ruin your afterlife -”

_

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. The machine became increasingly worse as the lights flickered again above where they were standing. How this was possible, Sam wasn’t sure? Mechanical error? Faulty wiring? Creature that went bump in the night? She couldn’t put that past her with all she had come to see within the last few months, and here she was again. Finding herself caught up in a freakish situation with nowhere to go, but down.

Ducking as the loudness in the restaurant increased, she finally pulled her head down with her hands out of safety as she heard the machine combust, sending a massive amount of creamy cold chocolate and creamsicle all over the front of the restaurant and its current occupants. It was cold when it splashed down on her and gave her a chill to match that of the cold air circulating within the restaurant.

When all was said and done, Sam slowly raised up to see if Lil and the workers were okay, including a very angry manager who came storming up from the back. Expected, but not what caught Sam’s attention. Instead, it was Lil who had said something about the afterlife, “I’m fine, but…what do you mean afterlife, Lil?” She moved in closer, with the sense that this was probably a conversation that didn’t need to be heard by all the Wendy’s employees who were flocking up front to see what had happened.

—-

Lil should have just pretended she didn’t know what happened. Last time Steve had gotten mad because she had ranted about ghosts and how a poltergeist had caused the frosty machine to explode- but even now she couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

“It’s a ghost. There’s a poltergeist here - I know you probably can’t see it but that’s what’s happening. I’m about to get banned again so uh - probably don’t follow me. I’m sorry you aren’t getting a frosty today.” 

Without any more thoroughfare Lil jumped the counter sliding through the chocolate frozen treat that she was hoping to you know - have again. 

“Ghost. It’s a god damn ghost in the machine - Steve I was right, ” She huffed angry as she went to pour salt around the machine realizing that the ghost had jumped into the object. “Oh no you stay back for a moment - don't you dare try to kick me out yet. This is god damn personal.” Gritting her teeth she put her hand into the machine hitting the machine inside. “Come out you son of a bitch.” 

Lil realized that Sam wouldn’t understand what she was doing, that she probably looked crazy but the ghost did appear over the machine smirking at her as she glared up. She would have looked intimidating if she wasn’t covered in chocolate. “It’s the same god damn ghost - Steve I swear to god.” 

_

Sam paused, and in a quick jolt at the word ghost, her mind spiraled. The eclipse. Zach. Zach was a ghost that was really there. It wasn’t a dream or just in her head. That day had really and truly existed, and it was just something to add to an already confusing town that Sam was slowly adjusting to more and more each day, “A…ghost? Is there anything I can…”

Before she could finish that thought, she watched as Lil jumped over the counter. There was clearly a goal in mind, and she could tell the woman was pissed. With each passing word, she realized that this was the thing that had gotten Lil banned a decade ago, and Sam definitely didn’t want to be a part of that. She needed her Frostys, even if she was currently covered from head-to-toe in one.

Just as cautiously as she had come in, Sam had started to slowly back out. At least one of them had to be able to still get sugary, chocolaty treats for them both, right? And besides, this crap was cold and was starting to congeal to her hair, skin, and clothes, and it wasn’t very enjoyable either. “Uh, I’m just gonna…” Without much of a word, Sam skedaddled out the door, not wanting the wrath of Steve or the ghost to come down on her. She had enough stuff to process and figure out, like how she was going to drive home without messing up the seats of her Bronco. But she would find Lil again, because she absolutely wanted to know how this story ended.

[koyunsoncizeri]

WTF is going on in Turkey, and why this is the MOST screwed up time in 10 or so years? Especially for LGBT young and Women.

-Long post-

TW: mentions of r*pe/ s**ual harassment/women being force-married, losing rights.

This will be a heavy post so please scroll down if you are affected, i know I was, i cried myself to sleep yesterday but I need to get this out.

As you may or may not know, yesterday we held a second election (as in the first one none of the candidates reached over %50) and we, women, lgbti people, all of Turkey lost.

What do I mean by this?

There were 2 main people. One whose name i will not even utter here, as you know him since he is the prime minister for more than 20 years, and the leader of the opposition party. They each had parties under them, supporting different ideas. The oppositon party we all hoped would win (CHP) lost, the votes were nearly divided into two.

The winners..have .. Some.. things they want to implement. But before I get into that, what does their mere win mean for us?

What has been going around that has been powered and will increase by their win? Let us take a look:

But there is, unfortunately, more:

And the final straw that made me SICK to my stomach so much so that I near threw up:

So.

This is what we have been dealing with for the last couple 4 5 years, but these only increased in the last 2 -3 years to an alarming rate.

For the first time in my life I am scared shitless. I am SCARED shitless. I am SCARED for my life. No. Im TERRIFIED. Wish i was exaggerating. Wish I was just being extra.

MOVING ON to what they are thinking of implementing in the upcoming 5 yearz:

The law preventing "violence against women" will be done away with. (Mind you we re no longer in istanbul convention so we have had already near 0 protection)

Girls and boys will be separeted in schools.

The word "Turk" will be done away with in all const. and places. (..We are Turks)

Quran should be taught early, starting at age 7 and in all schools.

Women should only work among women

Single women should be "homed" (which is ..they should be married off to someond)

(mentions of) women not being equal to men when it comes to inheritance

And many more, more disturbing things i cannot even write. Just know that ..im scared to write everything :)

This is where I am rn.

Today i woke up and felt ..nothing. didnt wanna eat anything, do anything. Cant even watch Gargoyles my latest obsession.

All i am thinking about, how will I go to hospital to get my weekly shots, walking among people im scared of.

I dont know dudes. I really dont know. You know we opened a group to share info about how to seek asylum? :)

Sigh, my dudes. I love my country, i dont want it to be turned into Pakistna or whatever (please dont come at me for saying this, just search the news and u will see)

I was trynna get away from my abusive fam and now i cant even go to another city feelin good about it.

LASTLY

Ataturk fought so hard to get women from under the feet of sharia and men, we were one of the first women to have the right to vote.

Our pilot, Sabiha Gokcen is the first female fighter pilot. (Not to be confused with First combat pilot, Marie Marvingt)

She was selected as the only female pilot for the poster of "The 20 Greatest Aviators in History" published by the United States Airforce  in 1996.

We attended beauty contests, after years of being forced to wear hijab and whatnot, and now. We are going back to square 1.

I'm .. trying to be hopeful. But it's getting harder my dudes.

[neverbelessthan]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

I was tagged by @adickaboutspoons and @edsrosetattoo. Thank you for thinking of me! ❤️❤️❤️ I love this shit. And sorry for taking so long to do it, I had so. much. uni. work.

Are you named after anyone?

Katharine Hepburn. And my mother gave me her middle name ('her' as in my mother's, not 'her' as in Hepburn's - although, Houghton? What a bitchin' middle name jfc), which has pissed my sister off literally from the day I was born because she got given a(n arguably lovely) random middle name instead. Suck it.

When was the last time you cried?

Today.

Do you have kids?

Yep.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I’m an equestrian (dressage, specifically) although I’ve been out of it for a while because I had to have some surgeries, also because I’m broke, and horseriding is basically like burning money. Also figure skating. Group sports are the devil.

Do you use sarcasm?

I honestly wouldn’t know how to get through life without sarcasm. I’m like, 75% sarcasm (in person, at least - online I tend to be a bit more sincere because I generally obsessively re-read anything I post or comment before letting it loose in the world and if it comes off too sarcastic in my own head I’m like dude … stop being a dick).

What is the first thing you notice about people?

I’m hyper-sensitive, and I have acute sensory-sensitivity issues, so generally I pick up on the minutia of how someone presents at any given time (sometimes because it’s all my brain can take in, because wider general observations are too much), like I’ll pick up on shit people aren’t even aware that they’re putting down. Ask me how much fun I am at parties.

What’s your eye colour?

Brown. Very much towards the uniform brown/black end of the spectrum though, not hazel.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Neither.

Any talents?

I’m weirdly excellent at claw machines? Someone pointed out to me the other day that I’ll need to budget half a suitcase and a not-insignificant amount of my travel budget to The Claw Machines because Japan is full of them, and it honestly hadn’t even occurred to me. And by ‘weirdly excellent’ I mean weirdly excellent - like I can’t remember ever having started on one and not ended with a sizeable audience. I recently had a worker at one stop me mid-game to open the box and reshuffle the toys and then watch over my shoulder because he thought I was cheating. I’m also really good at mimicking people’s handwriting. I don’t have a gag reflex. I have full-body hyperextension, so I can do weird/terrifying joint-related things. Are we supposed to be picking weird stuff? I do have normal talents but they’re boring.

Where were you born?

Sydney, Australia.

What are your hobbies?

Sculpture, photography, crochet, knitting. I like small-scale art - miniatures, origami. Music (I play the piano, cello, guitar, and sing). I like plants (hoyas, particularly). Is travelling a hobby (my brain would like me to accept that no, it’s a coping mechanism for escaping the nihilistic futility of existence :)? I’m doing two university degrees right now, so I find that my hobbies don’t get much bandwidth and when I’m not reading about neuroscience or philosophy I’m usually just staring into the middle distance letting my brain power down for 5 minutes. Is that a hobby?

Do you have any pets?

I have a cat. And some tropical fish. And a semi-domesticated water dragon named Richard.

How tall are you?

5’2”. Or, as people often enjoy pointing out: pocket-sized.

Favourite subject in school?

I hated my school, and therefore generally hated all subjects by extension. I loved anything creative: art, music, drama, creative writing, but I was too much of a social weirdo to not get bullied about it all, so I stopped bothering because I wasn’t willing to make/do what I really wanted to because I was too terrified of getting shat on about it, and there didn’t seem much point in doing any of it halfway. Plus it was an academically selective smartypants-assface school, so they didn’t put much stock in anything creative, unless you could top the state in it, and I didn’t really want that sort of pressure, thanks.

Dream job?

Some sort of very well paid, very infrequently required consultant.

I tag, with absolutely no pressure at all (and with profuse apologies to anyone who hates these things or who has already done it and i somehow missed you doing it because i’ve been buried under research and only on here sporadically the past week): @jessystardust, @majesticartax, @follows-the-bees, @theangelyouknew, @iamadequate1, @jeffsinnbythesea, @tositandadmire, @ameryth74, and literally any other mutuals who I haven’t tagged and who haven’t done it that would like to do it. I get such insane social anxiety about participating in these things, but also I love them: The Horrors. Also I know that I didn't tag 15 people, but … anxiety (I've tried to not include people who I've already seen tagged, and have literally gone through the last 50 or so posts of the people I have tagged to try and make sure they haven’t already done it, because i’m an idiot, and you know, being an idiot like that takes time).