#lian bai-long

[cabbage-shack]

I am LIVING for the head cannon going around that Xie Lian has actually lost it centuries ago and his beautiful husband, Hua Cheng the Crimson Rain Sought Flower Ghost King himself, is actually a putrefied abomination/horrific creature of the night and he just doesn't see it.

BUT! Why leave the other calamity ghosts out of this fun filled horror fest??

🤩

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

in my opinion

[jayktoralldaylong]

MASSIVE TGCF SPOILERS. DO NOT ENGAGE UNLESS YOU'VE FINISHED THE BOOKS.

Xie Lian spent like 800 years being terrified of the white calamity. He'd go deathly scared at the mention of his name. In his presence he'd start having all forms of mental breakdowns, trembling and screaming and crying. Yet the second he found out who he was.....there was none of that.

It was almost amazing, and it can be chalked up to Xie Lian prioritising the safety of his friends, but he wasn't even angry. You'd think all those years of fear would turn to rage but what Xie Lian seemed to feel the entire time...was a large amount of confusion.

Like his brain was going: You? You're the one who's hurt me all my life? But that doesn't make sense. I thought....I thought you liked me. All this time I thought you were being kind because you saw in me potential that I could no longer see in myself. When I was around you, you made all the scary monsters go away. I no longer had a reason to be afraid. I never once felt scared of you.

And that's where it clashes. Xie Lian's fear of this unknown monster that had no origin but insisted on haunting only him dissipates when compared to how safe he often felt around Jun Wu. Now that he understood that Jun Wu, aka his father figure, wouldn't ever kill him, he didn't feel scared anymore, just confused. Like "Why did you do it then? You're the most powerful being in our universe. You had nothing to gain so why did you hurt me?" He chased the answer to that question all the way to Guoshi.

Me personally, I was furious with Jun Wu, I felt he was an unforgivable monster. He had no business doing the shit he did to Xie Lian, especially when Xie Lian didn't cause him any harm. Xie Lian was therefore confusing me by not being angry, just curious. He wanted to know why. So he sat down and listened to Guoshi's story with more enthusiasm than I ever expected. He wanted to know all about Jun Wu's past and even sympathised with it (Xie Lian's a better person than most of us). Even the final scene with the bamboo hat. All those years of fear, I guess, got beat away by Hua Cheng's love and his friends standing by his side and Xie Lian realising that the monster wasn't actually a monster. It was a person, who was once as cursed and unlucky as he was. A person who no one had loved and was crying out like a wounded child.

Xie Lian might not forgive Jun Wu for what he did but he's not particularly angry with him. He just sees through all of it now. Like the unmasking in Scooby-Doo when the Ghost was just a bitter employee.

We might have wanted a bigger reaction out of him but Xie Lian has always been the 'best-revenge-is-living-well' kind of guy. Plus, he was also tired. It's been 800 years, he's got a boyfriend. Jun Wu kinda has one too. How about they just leave each other alone. Xie Lian would like that very much.

[catradoraism]

idk if mxtx said this or this was fan interpretation but the idea that he xuan is “weaker” than hua cheng bc everything hua cheng did was out of love while he xuan was entirely fuelled by hate just ?? idk seems wrong to me? he xuan’s desire for revenge wouldn’t have been all consuming if he didn’t love his fiancée or his sister or his parents. he hates shi wudu so much, not because he has unquenchable rage that renders him devoid of love but because his righteous anger is a result of love. the only thing stopping hua cheng from becoming exactly like he xuan is that the love of hua cheng’s life is safe and happy while he xuan’s loves suffered til their dying breaths

[nova-myths]

lol heavens horizon height sheet and names

[tea-cat-arts]

Ranking mxtx couples by whether or not I think they'd be good parents

(I'm 90% sure I'm forgetting someone)

Yep, next question (S)-

Wangxian: tried and tested good dads. I wish them luck with the whole “trying to get wwx pregnant” thing 

They have some shit to work through, but after that I think they'd be fine (A)-

Ling Wen/ Bai Jin: if we're just going off the original publication, I would put them in a much lower tier, but since the revised edition added that thing about them raising orphans together and said orphans turning out alright before unfortunate circumstances, I'm putting them up here. I think they'll be alright once they work through the miscommunication

Xiao Xingchen/ Song Lan: They obviously have a lot of trauma they're working through, but I'd like to think they and A-Qing will be a loving family in the long run 

One of them would be a good parent, the other wouldn't be a bad parent (B)-

Jiang Yanli/ Jin Zixuan: there's no canon reason for me putting them this low. Jin Zixuan just gives off a mediocre parent vibe to me (and we all know Jiang Yanli is the best)

Yushipei: Yushi Huang has good mom energy, and Pei Ming has been shown to be a not terrible mentor. I'd want the misogyny fully beaten out of him with a mace before I'd think he should have kids of his own though 

Lang Qianqiu/ Little Guy: at the very least, they're making sure Guzi is fed, clothed, washed, vaccinated, and has access to education. Neither of them know what they're doing, but I think Little Guy is good at faking it. I wish them luck in their upcoming custody battle  

You know what, surprise me/ I'll hear you out (C)-

Bingqiu: My first instinct is “no, do not bring kids into this,” but then I remembered tharnShen Qingqiu has a surprisingly decent track record? Like, Ning Yingying and Ming Fan both turned out a lot more health than they did in the original novel, and though I wouldn't call him in a good place, Binghe is doing a lot better than Bingge. The wild card for me here is Luo Binghe because I have no idea how he'd be with kids

Quanyin: Yin Yu had a decent track record until he was pushed into snapping. I think rn, he needs a couple centuries of being a babygirl before he's ready to parent again. No idea how Quan Yizhen would do though 

Born to “dual income, no kids, rich uncles/aunts” (D)-

Fengqing: Feng Xin is canonically a bad dad. I know he's working on it, but it is what it is. Mu Qing has been shown to be decent with kids, but I think he’d have a melt down if he had to deal with the mess constantly. 

Hualian: I mean, Xie Lian has raised three kids at this point and one of them became a god, another became state preceptor and then sorta complicit in a genocide, and one became god AND committed genocide + he babysat a ghost king for months and didn't even realize that's what he was because it was a miracle if he remembered to feed him… so, a mixed bag. Hua Cheng may be schrodinger’s child hater, but I'm intrigued by the idea of him raising kids just because I want to know how his own childhood would influence his parenting abilities. They should probably just stick to babysitting for now though 

Mingling: Liu Mingyan is too busy writing gay porn to be dealing with kids, and I just can't imagine Sha Hualing as a mom

Please don't bring a kid into this mess (F)-

Beefleaf: Do I need to explain this one?

Mobeishang: Shang Qinghua should not be put in any position where he has to teach someone about consent (Binghe’s early attempts at flirting being a prime example of why that's a bad idea). I also think Mobei Jun is still working on the whole “why hitting people is not cool” thing. 

QiJiu: I think the original timeline is a prime example of how they're just not in a place to be raising kids 

Jun Wu/ Mei Nianqing: Xie Lian would like a refund on his adopted father figures. They had one kid and he only made it to age 20 because he was cursed to not die

[pichirobi]

fire, air, water, earth.

prince xie lian is one of the most promising up-and-coming avatars the world has yet to see. that is, until disaster strikes his home earth kingdom of xianle. when his people die out at the hands of a plague spirit, bai wuxiang, the nations blame the avatar. with his reputation destroyed, xie lian joins the air nomads for 20 years and travels the world as a scrap-collector. although he has lost the respect of the people he is destined to protect, the spirit world is thrown into chaos without his guidance. xie lian works thanklessly to maintain global balance all on his own. but unbeknownst to him, there's one person, upon the throne of the fire nation, who still believes in the avatar.

welcome to my tgcf x atla au!

click here to follow this tag for updates. read more below for my story notes.

STORY

xie lian is born to the king and queen of an earth kingdom city-state, xianle, and is quickly discovered to be the avatar. a wildly talented one, at that. he learns firebending second, and waterbending third. still young and pampered, xie lian struggles with the humility associated with airbending principles.

at just the age of 17 he begins to travel the world to master the four elements and [katara narrator voice] to restore peace and balance in the world. he acquires a servant (firebender mu qing) and a bodyguard (earthbender & childhood best friend feng xin). it's during this time that he tours the fire nation, meeting with political figures and impoverished citizens alike, gaining a positive reputation for his determination and skills. to celebrate the summer solstice, xie lian is the face of a festival in which he proves his elegance, combative strength, and firebending prowess. during the ceremony, he controversially interrupts it to save the life of a 10-year-old urchin boy.

the lines between the spirit and mortal worlds bleed together during solstices. it's xie lian's festival which attracts a particularly violent spirit to emerge into the mortal world: bai wuxiang. the white-clothed calamity.

xie lian's life is filled with promise until he turns 22. he catches word of a disaster taking place in his home kingdom. he puts a pause on his tour of the nations to return to xianle. there, he finds that a strange and highly contagious disease has begun plaguing his people. its symptoms are unnatural; the work of an angry spirit. xie lian works himself to the bone trying to save his common people. he fails.

when xianle falls to plague, to chaos, to fear, its people blame the avatar. he is dubbed the avatar of misfortune. a failure. xie lian's reputation crumbles to dust and he is helpless to restore his people's faith in him. when the rest of the world learns of how xianle came to ruin, the avatar becomes not a figure of peace to be revered, but a bad omen.

having lost his two companions, his parents, his kingdom, and the global adoration he's come to rely on for his self-worth, xie lian runs away. he disowns his past identity and seeks to start a new life. he finds himself in the northern air temples, where the air nomads pay him no mind, although xie lian is a bit of an oddball. (xie lian might look rougher and jaded but they certainly recognize the avatar. they pretend to not know him—the nomads keep to themselves and as long as xie lian doesn't cause trouble, he is welcome.) he eventually befriends a monk named shi qingxuan.

xie lian seeks enlightenment. he incorporates himself into the monks' way of life, releasing all ties to material possessions and worldly indulgences. he abstains from sex, alcohol, anger, and, hardest of all, grief. he goes on to live 20 years as a scrap collector, practicing what he was taught by his teacher and guide, monk wu yong. xie lian knows it's time to leave the temples when he finally masters airbending.

humbled, xie lian rekindles his fighting spirit. the common people loathe the avatar, but he forgives them. he will save them.

as xie lian wanders the nations, he learns that during his darkest years, literature, art, and scholarly works of the avatar have been destroyed. most people don't even remember what he looks like and much less have the means to learn anything about him. (hua cheng carving xl's face into the side of a mountain: HOLD MY BEER)

meanwhile, there is a fire nation urchin boy who has grown into someone powerful enough to be feared. through his unmatched wit and charisma, he has worked his way up the capital's political hierarchy. a city governor who calls himself hua cheng, is the first aristocrat to challenge the firelord to an agni kai. he is also the first to win. he delegitimizes the royal bloodline and single-handedly reshapes a generation's idea of a competent ruler. bonus points for the previous firelord being xie lian's indecent cousin, qi rong.

now 35 years old, the new firelord, terrifying yet respected by all, leads his people to prosperity and vanquishes every enemy. peculiarly, he seems somewhat uninterested in his position of power. instead, he enjoys turning his attention towards erecting a shrine, a palace, in honor of avatar xie lian.

HUALIAN'S BACKSTORY

the avatar preceding xie lian, jun wu, oversaw great conflicts between the four nations. it is during one of these wars that a seemingly insignificant teenager dies. his soul drifts aimlessly in the spirit world, vulnerable, alone. he encounters the trickster spirit koh who steals his face. time is hard to account for in this realm, and the once-a-teenager forgets his past life, his own identity, simply choosing to refer to himself as wu ming: nameless. many years later, the avatar cycle begins anew with the birth of xie lian.

at 7 years old, prince xie lian and his best friend feng xin are outdoors playing with swords. feng xin takes a break, as he is called inside by the king of xianle, leaving xie lian outside and unsupervised. (feng xin will shortly be told that xie lian is not only his friend, but now his responsibility.) meanwhile, xie lian is left without a sparring partner. until a ghostly silver butterfly flits in front of him. it playfully weaves around the flourishes of the blade. xie lian chases it, away from the palace grounds, across the fields and into the brush, where he falls head-first through a burrow. when he stands up, his sword has disappeared, but not the butterfly. it pulls his attention upward, where he takes in his surroundings: the spirit world.

xie lian continues to play and greet spirits, who are all pleased to meet the new avatar, eventually finding a sad, dissipating ghost fire. the ghost introduces itself as wu ming. xie lian works very hard to cheer it up, promising they'll be friends in this lifetime and the next. wu ming brightens and confesses that koh has stolen its face. xie lian fails to tolerate this news: if he's to be the avatar, he must protect the innocent and slay monsters. with wu ming's warnings, he marches to koh's den to demand his friend's face back.

xie lian succeeds. wu ming doesn't remember much these days, but he's sure that no one has ever showed him such incredible kindness. when wu ming expresses his desire to disappear, xie lian gives him a mantra: "live for me."

xie lian has to leave, to return to a very worried feng xin (who is scared he's already failed his new bodyguard job on day one), but wu ming is invigorated with life like never before. his soul persists, stubbornly, for the avatar. he is reborn back into the mortal world as a fire nation boy. although, the encounter with koh would leave a mark on his body: the sclera of his right eye would be an unsettling blood red. the people of his village would know him as hong hong-er.

elsewhere in the spirit world, the ghost of avatar jun wu senses young xie lian's presence. he also senses the persistence of the ghost fire—a soul reborn. could he, too, return to the mortal world? jun wu entertains a simple but horrifying thought: by swapping places with xie lian, could he achieve immortality as the world's last avatar? thus, jun wu hatches a plan. he strikes a deal with bai wuxiang, the white-clothed calamity, a malevolent plague spirit. bai wuxiang would possess the body of jun wu to eliminate the new avatar. to kill xie lian, and to be reborn.

the plan doesn't go—well, according to plan. the people of xianle are wiped out before he can get his hands on xie lian, and the destruction of a people leaves behind a universal distrust of the avatar. jun wu realizes he would be unable to seize power in such an environment. his new strategy must involve controlling young xie lian, manipulating him into a puppet. it takes a while to pin him down, but jun wu eventually finds him settled in the northern air temple, at his most emotionally vulnerable. jun wu will impersonate a monk teacher, changing his name to wu yong. he will bide his time and play his cards until the world is ready for his return.

EXTRAS

hualian are middle-aged men in this au because it makes sense timeline-wise, but also because sexy silver fox xie lian is what i see every time i close my eyes.

narratively, i'm torn between hua cheng loving the avatar, or hua cheng loving xie lian. thinking about this timeless lovestory, "you, not the state of you," i can see it both ways. hua cheng might love the avatar, xie lian and all of his reincarnations regardless of their body. or, he might love xie lian, regardless of the "avatar" title. ("avatar" may also be this world's equivalent to hua cheng respectfully calling xie lian "dianxia".)

firelord hua cheng presents himself at what he believes is his ugliest, most intimidating form: exposing his burned right eye. as san lang, however, he is at first ashamed to reveal such a vulnerable part of him in front of his love; he covers it with an eyepatch. (the people of the fire nation are like: "a platypus?" [san lang takes off his eyepatch] "PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!")

hua cheng teaches xie lian how to bend lightning. they easily trade bolts back and forth to each other in a cute and intimate way. feng xin and mu qing are horrified when they first see this in action.

hualian's first kiss happens when they're battling a sea monster underwater and xie lian loses his concentration enough to accidentally pop hua cheng's air bubble. a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation will do the trick until they can float back up to the surface.

ruoye = xl's spiritual serpent guide (kind of like roku's dragon)

e'ming = hc's super clingy fire ferret

[lttawnymadison]

TGCF Revised Version Afterword by MXTX

Since I kept seeing snippets of this, I wanted to read the whole thing for myself. I'd already bought the book on JJWXC and did an MTL for this. It's so wonderful that she's back and sharing new things and that the revised is finally done! - Tawny --------------------------------------------- The author has something to say:

Seeing the small red clay stove again.

———— Afterword of "Heaven Official's Blessing" 2022

■ Finally done!

Long time no see! It's another afterword starting with "finally." Without further ado, seasoned readers would know that I make substantial revisions. For instance, scenes like the Bai Feng Mountain Hunt and the ending recognition of Sizhui in the serial version of "Mo Dao Zu Shi" were not originally there.

The revisions in "Heaven Official's Blessing" are the most extensive of all my works. It was a huge project, as it is also the longest in terms of length, serialized over eight months. Due to poor health and other reasons, the revision process was interrupted for a long time before I picked it up again, and it sporadically took about five to six months over several years.

In the era of web novels, there are endless new entertainments, and honestly, not many people re-read a story. Plus, some problems in the serialized version are structural and can't be changed, but I still tried my best to address my regrets. After all, when I was serializing it, I was almost always in a feverish and sick state, barely pushing through. Additionally, I often enjoy comparing different versions of my favorite authors' works back and forth, finding pleasure in the process. So, for readers, discovering "Wow, this part has changed!" is like starting a new journey with Easter eggs in a second round.

■ The new revised version includes about 100,000 words of new content!

These 100k words are mainly concentrated in the latter half of Volume 1 and Volume 3, but there are plenty scattered throughout the text. For example, I fulfilled a promise to A-Hua, giving him several new outfits. Seeing A-Hua dressed beautifully in a new hairstyle to meet his gege made me happy.

In terms of the intensity of revisions, personally, I feel it goes like this:

Volume 1 and Volume 2 > Volume 3 > Volume 5 > Volume 4.

Additionally, the new version cuts some redundant words and plots that weren't very meaningful. However, I tried to keep all the original interactions between Hua Lian as complete as possible. If some minor interactions are missing, they weren't deleted but moved around.

■ One day, I suddenly dug out something.

An antique from 2017, a folder called "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection."

Curiously, I opened it and read with interest.

● Comparing the original setting outline and the main text, the highest fidelity is in the main storyline between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian.

A-Hua, restored at a ratio of 1:100.

Hua's character setting is the most detailed, and virtually every point made it into the main text, including details like "ghosts don't like the sun, so Hua Cheng sometimes drapes a red cloth over his head"...

Points not used, listed a few:

As a child:

· After being saved from falling off a city wall, he foolishly followed a parade over and over again, grabbing people to ask, "Who is that? Who is that person?" People told him, "That's the royal son, the future Celestial God, the most outstanding Crown Prince of Xianle Nation ever!"

(This point couldn't be used because in the text A-Hua was held in the Crown Prince's arms after being saved)

· At home, he was often punished to stand or kneel, not given food, and wore old clothes, accused of stealing money. Whenever he argued with his family, he would stubbornly sleep in the Prince's temple overnight.

· Went to Mount Tai Cang to volunteer sweeping red leaves at Huangji Observatory, just to sneak peeks at his future wife happily swinging.

After becoming the ghost king:

· One of his hobbies is buying and building houses everywhere.

· Very protective of his leather boots, would (badly) polish them until they shone.

· To other devout followers of Xie Lian, he said: "You have good taste."

· Secretly prepared many betrothal gifts for his beloved god, wanting to marry him!

The character setting of Xie Lian as a teacher in the serialized version compared to the initial draft, the serialized text subtly differs. The initial draft was more... exquisite and elegant, very serious. The serialized text is more... humorous. I think perhaps because some plot points were tragic, Xie Lian thought he should be happier to make the readers more relaxed, so he drove me to adjust his mental state! But due to the spiritual oppression at that time, the character's depth was not enough, while in the new revised version, I hope he can show a more self-content state on the same core basis.

Excerpts from the unused original setting:

· Super easy-going. Easy-going means: if given fifty bucks, he would happily dress in drag and dance. Accepts haggling. Thirty bucks works. Twenty bucks too!

· The observatory is small, the house is broken, wants to grow flowers. Leaks during rain, so he uses a bucket to catch rainwater.

· Because he can't afford a caretaker, he cleans himself, and also feeds chickens. Chickens eat flowers. Keeps a cat.

· Completely engrossed in discussing serious matters, he unknowingly finished all the broken sweet dumplings!

● Water, Earth, Wind original setting:

The highest fidelity is the main line between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, followed by the Water, Earth, Wind subplot.

The main conflict hasn't changed. Just... how could the original setting of Water, Earth, Wind be so dark and terrifying!

The character morals in the main text improved a lot, otherwise, the original Black Water would be sheer scheming + murderous! The ending for the Wind Master would have been more tragic.

The Venerable of Empty Words suddenly became an improvised character. It seemed like an ancient fable-like monster, making the main text more interesting than the original setting.

Overall, the formal version is a bit better written than the original draft.

● The unfortunate life of Lang Ying:

Lang Ying? Is there such a character? I don't remember!

Ah? It seems there was such a person, but I don't remember any of his plotlines.

This is most people's feeling towards the character of Lang Ying. It's not a delusion because he barely had any significant plot. In fact, any valuable scenes could have been replaced equivalently, so in the new revised version, I deleted this character.

But, in the 2017 setting collection, I suddenly found that I had actually opened a separate document for Lang Ying, and his role was defined as a "growing-type BOSS!"

I was silent.

And immediately opened the document, curious about my initial setting. A "growing-type BOSS," how did he become someone whose deletion went unnoticed...? (I even don't know how to address him!)

Who knows, perhaps out of excitement, I accidentally pressed the wrong shortcut, and somehow it became irreversible, leaving only an empty document for me to stare in disbelief. The once "growing-type BOSS" has now forever become a mystery!

This is the unfortunate life of the deleted Lang Ying.

· There was another document in the setting collection called "Swordsmith." I opened the document and read it with interest.

I was shocked. Because I completely forgot I had conceived this story. Why didn't I write it?!

Darn.

I know why I didn't write it. This story... it had no ending!

——————— Thus, the magical glimpse into the "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection" concludes!

■ I like men with stories!

Maybe because I watched an outstanding work as a child. It was a memoir, the protagonist in the biography was gentle and affable, and the protagonist in the memories was cold and ruthless. The story was scattered with the poignant fragrance of white plum blossoms amidst bloody and stormy circumstances.

This almost perfect work deeply influenced my aesthetics, leading me to be most interested in the memory parts of characters in various works. Although many viewers prefer the present scenes, often asking when the memories will end, I actually find these intense and painful memories to be the most fascinating!

A story is the history of a character, as well as the key to their personality. A person with a story stands before me like a puzzle. The way to solve this puzzle is to understand their story. Because the biography makes one curious to know more about a character they like, loving them more now because of their past. When serializing "Heaven Official," my greatest pain initially was telling myself, "This time I don't want to write a memory slaughter," deliberately trying to avoid a structure similar to previous works, yet I still hadn't found a better way to express it, resulting in my deep dissatisfaction with the later part of Volume 1. I was also hesitant to fully commit to the memory scenes in Volume 2, and with the heavy mental burden, this part was very painful to write. When revising, looking at Volume 2 was almost unbearable, because I'm the type of person who, as a child, would immediately switch channels when a TV show's protagonist was about to be wrongfully accused or embarrassed. I couldn't help but knock on a friend's door and ask:

Me: Was the author suffering some kind of mental trauma at the time? This negative energy is too horrifying, the protagonist is so pitiful, I really admire anyone who could read through Volume 2 completely.

Friend: Do you even have the right to say that?

But the memory slaughter in Volume 4 was much freer, written in one breath, so the revisions for this volume were also the least.

So, will you still write large segments of memory slaughter?

Um, well, we'll see, haha, hehe...

■ Closing Remarks:

Lastly, I'll address the question some asked me, "Will the new revised 'Heaven Official's Blessing' be more torturous?"

Me: You're talking nonsense. 'Heaven Official's Blessing' is a sweet pampering story, thank you!

Acknowledgments:

Shi Nai'an wrote in the preface to "Water Margin": "On snowy nights, about five or six people listen to my storytelling; on rainy days, about seven or eight; on bright and sunny days, about ten. I read, everyone listens, and we are all happy, with no other thoughts." When I read this as a young person, I was delighted. What divine days! Writing first to entertain oneself, then to entertain others. Self-expression and self-acceptance are certainly primary, but the affection of others is also a significant positive feedback. Thus, first, I thank the steadfast readers who have accompanied me all this time. I've thought about just walking away amidst the noisy disputes; abandoning the account amidst the tumultuous world! It seems not bad. But looking back, I can't bear to leave some truly sincere readers.

I've had authors I liked disappear from the internet, and I always feel like a part of my youth has vanished, a feeling quite distressing, reminiscent of overly grand and harsh things like the tears of the era or the torrent of history. So, I want to accompany my readers as long as possible, hoping that the day of parting comes later. Perhaps I'm not good enough now, but I will strive to be better in the future. Or perhaps you've never truly understood what kind of person I am, or even completely misunderstood me, but as long as you genuinely like my stories, we can sit down and chat.

And, I must mention my friends, who can be described as having the courage of a hero. Long time no see, Teacher Changyang's illustrations are still as beautiful as those of a celestial being, I hope Teacher CAS can go to bed earlier and worry less, and Teacher Kuohao, who despite a heavy workload, still fully honored our agreement. The "Heaven Official's Blessing" radio drama is really fantastic! It reminded me of the original intention of writing this story, and I was very moved. If it weren't for the silent companionship and efforts of these old friends, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu might have stopped writing back in 2016, disappearing from the world of martial arts, and thus, "Heaven Official's Blessing" would not have been born. I look forward to retracing the paths we once walked together when gathering ideas. And many friends who reached out to help and encourage me, thank you for accompanying me through the snowy nights.

[149panda149]

TGCF: My theory on the inspiration behind the 4 calamities

In some of the oldest Chinese myths and legends, there are 4 guardian gods of the four cardinal directions - the green dragon, white tiger, crimson bird, and black tortoise, and each have a colour, season and element associated with them. I'm not sure if anyone has made this connection before, but I'm writing it down if anyone is interested. There are spoilers about the calamities' identity.

First, the 青龙 （qing long, green dragon) --> Qi Rong, Night-touring Green lantern.

The qinglong's territory is the East, and its colour is qing, which means green, or turqoise. Its element is wood, and its season is spring. Closely associated with royalty and the imperial family.

Now, for the similarities with our favourite green goblin. "qing" is literally the colour in Qi Rong's title, and his colour scheme. Qi Rong has a habit of hanging corpses from trees, which may be his relation to the element "wood". He does not have any obvious coleration with the season "spring"- perhaps he was born in spring. He is royalty, part of the imperial family as cousin to the crown prince.

Second, the 白虎 （bai hu, white tiger)--> Bai Wuxiang, White Clothed Disaster upon the Earth.

The baihu's territory is the West, its colour is white, element is gold/metal, and its season is summer. It is the king of all beasts, associated with disease and war, often used as a guardian symbol by soldiers.

On the other hand, Jun Wu's title, alias and colour scheme are all white, and has plenty of weapons that may be his link to the element of "gold/metal". I don't think he has anything to do with summer, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. He is king of the gods, a god of war, and the one to spread the human face disease.

As east and west are considered a pair, the guardian spirits are meant to reflect each other. In Chinese poems and such, symmetry is important, and both Qi Rong and Jun Wu were princes, one becoming revered by the highest of gods, covered with masks and false identities, one becoming the object of disgust by the lowest of ghosts, using his real name and face. There is a certain poetic symmetry to it, don't you think?

To the second pair. The 朱雀 (zhu que, crimson bird)----> Hua Cheng, Crimson Rain Sought Flower

The zhuque rules over the south, its colour is red, element is fire, and its season is summer. It is the king of all birds, more powerful than even the phoenix, immortal and undying. As such, in many places it is also considered a symbol of life.

Now, to the most popular ghost king: Hua Cheng. The english translation of his title is "crimson", and his colour scheme is indubitably red and autumn-y shades. He also re-re-met Xie Lian in autumn ( I think - I mean, the leaves were all red in the donghua??), and has died again and again to return like the zhuque. He is the king of all ghosts, with a great determination to live(sorta? are ghosts alive??) for his love.

Lastly, my personal favourite, the 玄武 (xuan wu, black tortoise)---->He Xuan, Black Water Sinking Ships

The xuanwu, also called a tortoise, is actually the only spirit to be a combination of 2 animals, a snake and a tortoise. It rules over the north. Its colour is black( sometimes depicted as dark blue), element is water, and its season is winter. In earlier legends, he is considered a guide and guardian to the netherworld, of death and of long life.

Thus, to our poor indebted water ghost. He Xuan's name is "xuan", the same! goddamn! character! as the spirit! His title and colour scheme are all to do with the colour black, and he is a water ghost because he died because of the Water Master. He has been marked by death, yet survived and vowed revenge. This, and the fact that his house is called the Nether Water Manor, is probably his relation to the netherworld of the xuanwu.

To the pair of south and north. Both Hua Cheng and He Xuan have suffered and suffered again, yet Hua Cheng chooses to linger on due to hope and love, and He Xuan due to revenge and hatred. But hatred and love are two sides of the same coin. If Hua Cheng hadn't experienced the hatred from his childhood, he wouldn't have thrown himself from the city wall and met Xie Lian. If He Xuan hadn't loved his family, so much, he wouldn't have broken that hard after their deaths to lose himself to hatred and empty vengence.

Aaaaaand that concludes this essay. Keep in mind that this is a theory, and probably even isn't true, but if anybody wants a more detailed description of the guardian spirits, or to know more about the similarities between the mythical creatures of ancient china and tgcf, I will be more than happy to make a part 2.

Thanks for reading!!

[one-flower-one-sword]

His fingers curled into claws, and he aimed directly for Hua Cheng's right eye!

It all happened in under a second. Hua Cheng dodged just as fast, but the attack still left two bloody scratches on his cheek.

For the first time, Hua Cheng faced an opponent he couldn't overtake in speed. His gaze turned sharp, and he changed tactics on the spot - he called forth millions of wraith butterflies, and they swarmed the man in a frenzy. The myriad butterflies wrapped the white-clad man inside a large, shimmering silver chrysalis, but that likely wouldn't last long. Hua Cheng was about to grab Xie Lian when the silver butterflies shrieked and exploded into sparkling powder!

Seeing the subtle change to Hua Cheng's expression as so many wraith butterflies were destroyed at once, Xie Lian knew that this wasn't good. The white-clad man had blown apart the wraith butterflies, and now he was hidden within the shimmering silver powder that choked the air. His newly grown hand struck out once more, aiming again for Hua Cheng's right eye!

TGCF Volume 6, page 76

In this previous post, I've speculated about the logistics of Hua Cheng being blind on his right side and his usage of the wraith butterflies as a sort of disability aid in some instances. This above scene of his first direct clash against Bai Wuxiang is another one of those moments where the text isn't directly stating something but it's possible to extrapolate from what is described and from what is implied.

Hua Cheng is extremely skilled at direct combat at a very young age already, evidenced by the way he manages to injure several of Qi Rong's lackeys when they capture him as he's only ten years old:

"I called for five or six guys, and they still couldn't catch the brat. He trashed and bit them until they were bloodied all over."

Volume 2, page 351

And then later as a young soldier in the army:

"Although the boy was carrying nothing but a worn sword, he was still highly effective and struck down many of the binu. [...] "You've never used a saber before, right? You use a sword, but the sword is tricky. Although it's fast and extremely aggressive, its range is fairly limited. If you've never used a saber before, try it next time. I think you might be even stronger with it."

Volume 3, page 124-127

(The horrifying thing about this is of course that while Hua Cheng probably possessed natural talent, the reason why he had to learn to defend himself against adults as a mere child was that he was so severely and frequently beaten by them)

Also in my previous post, I speculated that Hua Cheng always keeping his right eye covered likely meant he learned early how to compensate for his blind spot in combat, since that obvious weakness is something his opponents would immediately notice and try to take advantage of. Until Bai Wuxiang, we never witness him fighting anyone who can actually injure him, not since he's become a Supreme Ghost King. He defeats 33 heavenly officials in a row, and even fighting two against one with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, he defeats both of them with ease.

I would argue that, aside from being extremely skilled with a saber and having immense spiritual powers, it can be extrapolated from the above quote about his fight against Bai Wuxiang that it's also Hua Cheng leveraging his superior speed against his opponents that prevents them from taking advantage of his blind spot.

(As an aside, I would assume that even when Hua Cheng is in a fake skin that has both eyes and not in his true form, he's still blind in the right one because it's, well, fake. If the text ever actually contradicts that (I've not read volume 8 yet) I will add corrections)

But now, he's facing Bai Wuxiang, who is just as if not even faster than him. Judging by the fact that Bai Wuxiang aims his attack at Hua Cheng's right eye twice, he's correctly judged his blind spot to be the most vulnerable place to go for, thereby managing to bypass his defense long enough to injure him.

Hua Cheng immediately reasses the situation, realizes he needs to create more distance between himself and his opponent, and switches to use his wraith butterflies as a sort of distract-defend-attack combo. And against everyone else, this would have worked - we see this when he uses them to drive Feng Xin and Mu Qing back after they kidnapped Xie Lian away from him:

The butterfly deluge was blocked by the formless spiritual shield and shattered into shimmering silver light, which rapidly recrystallized into new silver butterflies and attacked once more. The onslaught was completely unstoppable - Feng Xin and Mu Qing gave ground slowly as they kept their shields up, and Hua Cheng steadily advanced step by step.

Volume 6, page 63

And then again to keep Feng Xin away and occupied while he faces Mu Qing with Eming:

Meanwhile, each arrow Feng Xin shot at the butterflies was snapped by their sharp wings. The sheer number of butterflies was ultimately too difficult to deal with!

Volume 6, page 64

But Bai Wuxiang is infinitely more powerful and simply destroys all the wraith butterflies at once, which then gives him the opportunity to immediately go for Hua Cheng's blind spot a second time and aim his attack there again.

If we continue to read the wraith butterflies as not only a weapon but also a disability aid of sorts, these fight scenes demonstrate both the possible uses of them as such and also their limits. While they're feared for good reason and have multiple functions - acting as his eyes and ears like spies, defending like a shield or cutting like a blade - they can help him make up for his blind spot to a certain degree, but they can't erase it. They're an aid for his vision loss, not a replacement.

(Which is a good thing imo, just to make that clear. I feel like it's always such a wasted opportunity when characters sustain a disability and then it's either magically fixed or they continue on as if they're still able-bodied. But Hua Cheng is disabled, and the ways he's found to empower himself and to navigate a world that's pretty hostile to people like him, don't take away from that)

Like I mentioned above I haven't read Volume 8 yet, where as far as I know there'll be more fight scenes, so I might come back to this post in the future to add further observations or correct previous ones!

[maxescheibechlinichacheli]

Before / After colouring 🎨

I got tagged such an embarassingly long time ago that I don't remember who it was. Anyways, thank you so much to whomever lovely it was, I really appreciate the tag and finally found time to do a post about my colouring.

I started gifing less than a year ago and learned a lot since then. I gif online in Photopea as Photoshop is just to expensive for me atm (and my old laptop probably wouldn't survive running Photoshop). So, if anyone wants a detailed process of gifing in Photopea, jhmu.

Bed Friend | King and Uea I love how King's desire for Uea is shown in this gif. He is just gone on Uea and barely can hold himself back.

The Eclipse | Akk and Ayan Loved the sun shining from behind Akk's head and had to colour the gif in a way that the sun would stand out a bit.

A Boss And A Babe | Gun and Cher Them and their adoration for each other made me love this show.

My School President | Tiw and Por TiwPor my beloved side couple 💖

The Eighth Sense | Jae Won and Ji Hyun The story of Jae Won and Ji Hyun was the first of a few series that I call "The Right One", i.e. series that just capture me and leave an impact ✨

Naughty Babe | Yi and Lian My favourite ghostship. Also the colours in this scene were just too good to not gif.

Never Let Me Go | Palm and Nueng Just Palm having his big entrance 🤩

Bake Me Please | Shin and Peach This kiss was sooo cute and lovely.

Moonlight Chicken | Alan, Wen and Jim MLC was everything, especially this scene.

Be Mine Superstar | Mingmueang and Namning Aka how to seduce a doctor. I'm excited that we get a new series with Bosston and Jo.

Kiseki: Dear To Me | Bai Zong Yi and Fan Ze Rui A couple and a show that left me speachless. Their story was so just so good.

Wedding Plan | Sailom and Namnuea Loved their story and how insatable they were.

Laws Of Attraction | Tinn and Charn Forever one of my favourite couples and series ✨

My Ride | Mork and Tawan Had the most fun doing a rewatch of this series.

Playboyy | Teena and Zouey The way this show combines gorgeous cinematic shots with that storyline makes me feel like I'm watching a stage show. I love it.

The Sign | Phaya and Tharn Every week this show leaves me spechless it's that good. One of the shows that I call "The Right One"!

Bonus:

The Sign | The colours As I sad in another post, I'm rolling in the colours of this show like a cat in catnip 😎

Edited to add a few people who I'd love to see doing a post about their before / after colouring: @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pharawee @liyazaki @bunnakit @khaotungsfirst @gabrielokun @spicyvampire @zhaozi @guzhu-furen @25shadesoffebruary @chinzhilla @crispywizardtale as always please ingnore if you don't want to do it.

[golden-flute]

I’ve got Hualian brain rot and have to rant about one smaller part from book 3 that, for some reason, ended up being one of the most memorable moments in the series for me. (Spoilers for tgcf books 3 and on)

.

.

Remember when Xie Lian was hunting Cuocuo down and got the needle embedded in his foot? And then after Hua Cheng gave him their first “kiss of life,” he realized Xie Lian was wounded and took him home to perform minor surgery?

I. Love. That. Moment???

I’ve seen others talk about it too, and I think what I loved most about it is it’s such an intimate scene. Xie Lian isn’t used to being cared for in this way, at least not anymore, so it really is challenging for him to accept help, especially since he’s also battling his growing feelings for the guy who just kissed him and is now handling his injured foot (an arguably intimate gesture).

I love all the implications this moment brings. I love how gentle and understanding Hua Cheng is, and how receptive he is to Xie Lian’s discomfort about the whole situation.

Other fans have mentioned this too, but I also found it interesting that Xie Lian, who is known for his inhumanly high pain tolerance, actually expressed pain in this scene. Bai Wuxiang, Qi Rong, and others had reveled for so long in his physical and mental suffering that it became ingrained in him to keep a stiff upper lip to avoid fanning the flames of their hatred. Trusting Hua Cheng with his pain as well as his injury turned this little scene into a beautiful moment where Xie Lian learned he could actually express himself without fear of punishment.

It’s romantic and sweet, yes, but it also explores Xie Lian’s inability to accept help and Hua Cheng’s desire to show him that he’s worthy of asking for help when he needs it.

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SCENE. 💕 If they green-light more TGCF donghua seasons, I imagine we might get this moment in season 4. At least, I hope we can. I feel like it would be possible to avoid censorship by taking advantage of the already baked-in subtext.

I finished reading the novels like a month and a half ago now, but I already want to re-read them. My TBR pile is giving me anxiety. 😬 😭

Ugh, I love this series so much. 💕

[mdzs-trash]

Apologies in advance for my Qi Rong ramblings 🥲🙏

So more suggestions to QR not actually being insane; he said awful things to Xie Lian about his parents and home, then lay in wait for XL to visit his parents' tomb! I'm sorry, but there is no way he could be considered insane after making such a calculated move.

I'm not saying he's on the same level as Hua Cheng with his plans, but he's still very careful with what insults to use in order to get an intended reaction.

As much as HC hates the idea (though is probably still very much aware), QR does actually know XL enough to spin his feelings around to hurt him. He has spent just as long as HC thinking about XL, though as an opposition, his thoughts have been on how best to humiliate and hurt XL. I mean, he's hurt too, he watched his whole family get murdered or exiled or (in his mind) kept as a pet in the new Yong'an court. Not to mention the person he admired, idolized, and worshipped, was the cause of it all (again, in his mind).

He's angry, and sad, and confused, and so so hurt. So he uses everything he has in order to bring everything and everyone down to his level, to feel as worthless and helpless as he does.

Calling back to a post made by @149panda149 (I loved your thoughts on that post btw!) in which I was specifically very interested in the parallel between Bai Wuxiang and Qi Rong, where they are both attached to Xie Lian through obsession and hatred; I think in Qi Rong's case it is definitely far more personal (how could it not be? They are family), and even potentially closer to Hua Cheng's feelings (obviously not the same!). And I would hesitantly put the thought forward that Qi Rong's reason for not passing on is the same as Hua Cheng's; an unyielding obsession with his Dianxia, two sides of that same coin if you will.

I personally would have loved to see this parallel drawn between them more obviously in the novel, but alas, there wasn't much to go on with Qi Rong's character. Not to mention the potential LANDMINES worth of issues with the implication of XL's cousin having the same attachment to him as his husband! (Though that... 'concept'... wouldn't be a first for MXTX to tackle, I'm lookin at you Jin Guangyao 😠📸)

But regardless! I think there is definitely huge potential for this idea, and I sincerely wish there was more context behind Qi Rong as a character.

Alright! End of ramble! I apologise for my Qi Rong brain rot, he latched on and is refusing to get off! The needy bitch!!

[bl-bracket]

Best Kiss in a BL Bracket

Round One

Pat and Pran First Kiss (Bad Buddy) vs Kochi and Mitsuru Bed Kiss (Eternal Yesterday)

Jaewon and Jihyun Ep 9 Kiss (The Eighth Sense) vs Gavreel and Cairo First Kiss (Gameboys)

Seojoon and Jiwoo Ep 4 Kiss (To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories) vs Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi Drunk Kiss (We Best Love: Fighting For Mr. 2nd)

Tinn and Gun First Kiss (My School President) vs Hira and Kiyoi Hand Kiss (Utsukushii Kare)

Vegas and Pete Hospital Kiss (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Wan and Kitae First Kiss (Our Dating Sim)

Kan and Thua "Asleep" Kiss (The Eclipse) vs Sean and White Final Kiss (Not Me: The Series)

Siwon and Duan First Kiss (Blueming) vs Phupha and Tian Forehead Kiss (A Tale of a Thousand Stars)

Akk and Ayan Underwater Kiss (The Eclipse) vs Tin and Tol Final Kiss (Triage)

Nozue and Togawa First Kiss (Old Fashion Cupcake) vs Ai and Nhai Cheek Kiss (Ai Long Nhai)

Palm and Nueng Ep 9 Kiss (Never Let Me Go) vs Korn and Intouch Stolen Kiss (Until We Meet Again)

Pat and Pran Ep 7 Kiss (Bad Buddy) vs Ram and King Tent Kiss (My Engineer)

Kinn and Porsche First Kiss (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs King and Uea Morning Kiss (Bed Friend)

Hira and Kiyoi Final Kiss (Utsukushii Kare 2) vs Puen and Talay Forehead Kiss (Vice Versa)

Teh and Oh Aew Underwater Kiss (I Told Sunset About You) vs Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin Drunk Kiss (Addicted)

Sound and Win First Kiss (My School President) vs Dean and Pharm First Kiss (Until We Meet Again)

Sean and White First Kiss (Not Me: The Series) vs Ye Guang and Xu Qi Zhang First Kiss (About Youth)

Kinn and Porsche Goodbye Kiss (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Tongfah and Paper Ep 3 Kiss (Second Chance: The Series)

Nuea and Toh Ep 7 Kiss (Secret Crush on You) vs Tin and Tol Bed Kiss (Triage)

Hojoon and Jaeyoon Final Kiss (Roommates of Poongduck 304) vs Zi Xuan and Yu Hao Net Kiss (HIStory 2: Crossing the Line)

Sky and Prapai Final Kiss (Love in the Air) vs Siwon and Daun Dream Kiss (Blueming)

Vegas and Pete First Kiss (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Palm and Nueng Beach Kiss (Never Let Me Go)

Payu and Rain Victory Kiss (Love in the Air) vs Yi and Kon Diao Sofa Kiss (Cutie Pie: The Series)

Mark and Vee Ep 3 Kiss (Love Mechanics) vs Arthit and Kongpob Ep 14 Kiss (SOTUS: The Series)

Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi Bridge Kiss (We Best Love: No. 1 For You) vs Gun and Cher Ep 10 Kiss (A Boss and a Babe)

Jaeyoung and Sangwoo Ep 7 Kiss (Semantic Error) vs Bai Lang and Jin Xuan First Kiss (My Tooth Your Love)

Seojoon and Jiwoo Final Kiss (To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories) vs Pluem and Kevin First Kiss (Ghost Host Ghost House)

Milk and Uncle Final Kiss (Choco Milk Shake) vs Payu and Rain Ep 5 Kiss (Love in the Air)

Tan and Bun Couch Kiss (Manner of Death) vs Mark and Vee Shower Kiss (Love Mechanics)

Neo, Shin, and Mew Beach Kiss (3 Will Be Free) vs Sound and Win Forehead Kiss (Our Skyy 2 x My School President)

Lian and Kuea Siam Paragon Kiss (Cutie Pie) vs Win and Team Be Brave Kiss (Between Us/Until We Meet Again)

Tinn and Gun Park Kiss (My School President) vs Khai and Third First Kiss (Theory of Love)

Akk and Ayan Dream Kiss (The Eclipse) vs Seriyo and Yuzuru Bedroom Kiss (Seven Days: Friday - Sunday)

[mxtxfanatic]

sometimes i do find the state of the mxtx protag's post canon social lives funny like.

shen qingqiu has:

one (1) liu qingge (he's one of the only peak lords i'd actually call shen qingqiu's friend)

one (1) shang qinghua (possibly, i think they could have a pretty good post canon friendship but as of the books i think they're more allies out of necessity)

one (1) set of qing jing peak disciples

that's it.

wei wuxian has:

one (1) wen ning

one (1) flock of extremely devoted juniors

one (1) sect leader nie huaisang (possibly. unlikely but they could)

one (1) set of mianmian and her husband (possibly)

that's it.

xie lian has:

The Entirety Of The Cast Likes/Respects Him On At Least Some Level Sans Like Three People One Of Which Is Qi Rong Who Doesn't Count.

i mean!! the one you wouldn't expect to succeed the most in this area has the most friends out of all of them!! lmao and it's not necessarily wei wuxian's fault given the whole over-a-decade-long propaganda campaign against him but still... no excuses for shen qingqiu though lmfao. i do like to laugh about it

I would 100% expect Xie Lian to be well-liked, cause other than his circumstances, he is very charming and people who do not know him like him. Same for Wei Wuxian: people who do not know of him and his reputation love him upon interacting with him. The only downside to his social life is that no named character his age outside of his husband, Mianmian, and Wen Ning is worthy of his respect, let alone friendship, so why would he take the time to get to know them? While both Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian are charming characters, neither of them seem to want to maintain a large circle of friends.

But Shen Qingqiu??? Idk what you’re on about with him, everybody in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect—except for the Bai Zhan Peak disciples, maybe— loves him! His fellow peak lords are constantly complaining about how he never visits enough because he’s on his forever honeymoon. They find out he’s come back to his peak and they gather at his house to force their way in. I feel like he’s also not one to care about having a large circle of friends, but his martial siblings sure as hell won’t let that stand!

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

The aftermath

Tw: spoilers for tgcf volume 6, gore, psychological horror, trauma, Bai Wuxiang

Summary: the aftermath of that incident in the temple that changed everything

--

There is always an end to everything, a conclusion, a stop. Fleeting, temporary, there is nothing that goes on forever, there are no eternities on Earth – death is the one certainty that never fails its due.

Almost.

If one were to ask Xie Lian how long he has been laying there, an open wound laid across an altar warmed with his own blood, he would not have been able to tell whether it has been an hour or a thousand years. He’s still somehow breathing, alive against any and all laws of life and nature, his body barely still held together by fragile pieces of tissue and the curse of his immortality. He’s spilling over the edges of the cold, carved stone, his hair flowing around him alongside thin rivulets of blood, tracing an unseen path down the ashen floor.

His eyes stare, empty and unblinking, at the door of the charred temple, as if attempting to peer beyond the limited field of vision, out into the good, kind world he had sacrificed so much for, into the world where this never happened to him. He cannot see anything, only a blur of faded colors and bleak sunlight, and he knows such a world does not exist.

It’s quiet.

Or maybe he has lost the ability to hear at some point during the torture, maybe a sword pierced through a nerve in his spinal cord and cut him off from hearing sound, locked inside the bits and pieces left of himself, imprisoned.

He used to love being alive, being nearly invincible, daring fate to stop him from helping the common people. Ascending, being a god, doing the best he could to save, to protect.

He resents it now – resents them all. Are these the people he has endured so much for? Are these the people he cast himself out of the heavens for?

This is who he has been protecting? This is who he has been defying every rule for?

Is this how the common people really are? Cruel, unfeeling, selfish?

The very people he loved so much were the same people that sacrificed him over an altar like an offering to a merciless god.

Are these people worth loving?

Is anyone?

He feels Bai Wuxiang before he sees him, his presence unmistakable even in Xie Lian’s miserable state. Somehow, he doesn’t feel startled or horrified by him anymore, placidly resigned to whatever the other may decide to subject him too. After all, he doubts there is enough of him left to even torment anymore.

“Have you learned your lesson yet?” Bai Wuxiang asks, his voice deceivingly kind and warm, like a parent talking to their troublesome child. “This is what the common people will do to you as soon as they have to choose between you and their own skins, Your Highness.”

Xie Lian does not have the energy to lift his eyes to look towards the order, his eyes still distantly tracing the contours of the forest. He feels so tired, too tired to even argue anymore, and all out of things to say in response. And he cannot even speak anymore either, his vocal cords torn somewhere into the remnants of his throat.

“But you shouldn’t think about them anymore, Your Highness.” Bai Wuxiang continues, a cold, soft hand against Xie Lian’s cheek. “Now, you should think about yourself.”

What is there to think of? Xie Lian would have asked if he could still speak. There is nothing left of me.

“All of this will heal.” Bai Wuxiang speaks again, the tenderness of his tone feeling every bit as condescending as it is warm, sickening, “Think about what comes after that, Your Highness. What will you do?”

Xie Lian doesn’t know, he doesn’t have the capacity to imagine the future right now. Is there any?

“I will take care of you. I will guide you.” Bai Wuxiang promises, caressing the side of Xie Lian’s face gently, soothingly, “All of this will not have been for naught. But you had to understand.”

Xie Lian finally wills himself to look at the man, meeting the sight of the half laughing, half crying mask. He feels so tired, drained of life, devoid of heart, a husk, a corpse rotting after its soul has dissipated.

The world has never felt so empty and cold.

He feels Bai Wuxiang scoop him up into his arms, his body protesting with every movement and every touch.

He’s afraid to look at himself, even though he knows what he must look like right now. Instead, he lets his eyes stare into the distance again, pain throbbing through him with every step the other takes, his cold hands burning like fire through the tatters of Xie Lian’s clothes.

Why can’t I die?

--

The white robes fit over his body with surprising ease, as if they had been made specifically for him. It is easy for him to recognize the cut and the material – funerary clothes.

Fitting, he thinks.

When he looks into the mirror, he thinks it again. He looks like little more than the living dead, pale and emotionless, features pulled into a blank expression.

“I told you that you will get better.” Bai Wuxiang’s voice rings through the room, almost happy. The sound grates Xie Lian’s ears. “It’s been two months. Are you ready to return?”

If Xie Lian still had it in himself to feel anything, he would have glared at the other, feeling his self-satisfied smile behind his mask even though he cannot see it.

“What will you do now?”

Xie Lian doesn’t reply, walking past Bai Wuxiang like he isn’t even there. The action elicits a laugh from the man.

“You will come back. I know you will.”

The kind, gentle voice from before takes on a darker edge, the sound of it making Xie Lian’s steps falter for a moment. “We are the same now. I’m all you’re left with.”

And for a moment, Xie Lian wants to disagree. He remembers, in the fragmented memory of that day, a little ghost fire, a screaming boy laid over the steps of the altar of his sacrifice.

But the image fades as soon as it appears.

--