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tippedbykreider · 3 years

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it’s all coming back to me | c. kreider (i)

Word Count: 8.2k Warnings: Slow burn, exes to friends to lovers, relationship breakdown, swearing, alcohol mention. Author’s Note: So many of you have been requesting for this to be brought back! The consensus was that you’d rather have it in smaller chunks so I’ll be posting each new part weekly and they’ll come in between 6 & 9k per chapter. Not only is it more manageable for you guys but it also gives me chance to keep writing new content for it 💖 There is a playlist for this fic which I posted separately, it gives a chronological feel for their relationship and their story. This has been a tonne of fun to write so far and I can’t wait to tell the rest of their story. Summary: Chris Kreider x Reader Insert. They say that all good things come to an end, that you can never have too much of a good thing, but when Chris decided to end your relationship you wondered how anything could ever be good again. A chance meeting 9 years later drags up all those feelings you both thought you were done with. Can you work through your hurt and pain to see what it is that Chris is trying to show you? Or are some things better left forgotten? Tagging: @danglesnipecelly - this girl deserves a writing credit on this thing because she’s pushed me to keep going with this and her input and advice has been invaluable. Thank you for all the support on this one, K 💖

*Italics indicates a flashback*

The notion of fresh starts is often something that is associated with the arrival of the New Year. People use the turning of the calendar to turn over a new leaf, to learn a new skill, to challenge themselves to be better than the year before and to let go of all that was and focus on all that will be. There’s something inherently magical about a new beginning, a fresh start; sometimes it’s the excitement of what might lie ahead and other times it’s the comfort in knowing that you can seize the opportunity be whoever you want to be and to reinvent yourself. It’s the line in the sand and the final full stop at the end of the chapter and it’s the anticipation of picking up the pen and writing those first few words on the new page.

For Chris Kreider this feeling wasn’t one that was brought about by the strike of the clock at midnight on New Year’s Eve because while the date on the calendar changed and while he still spent the next couple of weeks dating things with the wrong year just like everybody else, it still often felt like nothing really changed for him. Chris could only feel like the year was truly coming to an end when the first petals of spring exploded like fireworks in a symphony of technicolour blooms and he found himself giving the locker-room clearout interview. That was the end of the year, the full stop, the line and the warmer days and the balmy nights would give him the opportunity to decompress ready for the turning of the page come September when his focus would once again turn back to hockey.

Chris loved New York; that much was undeniably true. He loved the vibrancy of the city but he also loved the way that he could melt into the background or enjoy the feeling of quiet solace his apartment gave him. It was oftentimes a bolthole, an oasis of peace during an otherwise hectic few months between September and May but the end of the hockey season and the arrival of summer had him seeking the cry of gulls on the breath of a gentle breeze and that crisp, purifying sea air that always managed to fill his lungs differently. Rowayton wasn’t far, a little over an hour on a good day but with its coastal Connecticut charm, slower pace and pretty houses, especially the ones that overlooked the water, it was a world away from NYC and exactly what Chris needed to reset and recharge.

It was a Saturday morning in mid-July and for the first time in a long time, longer than Chris could recall, he allowed himself to sleep in. His bedroom window had been open all night and the welcome breeze snaked through the slats in the blinds and carried on it the faintest smell of salt and sunshine. Chris stretched his muscles in big pulls around the bed before he settled on his back and inhaled deeply, the fresh air clearing his mind and filling his body as the last remnants of sleep slipped away on the exhale of breath. Imbued with energy, he climbed out of bed and pulled the blinds all the way up, flooding the bedroom with beautiful incandescence born out of a cloudless sky. He didn’t make his bed though, not yet, because while he had left his room and was padding down the stairs, he had every intention of returning to the still warm sheets to read a chapter or two of the book on his nightstand with a fresh cup of coffee, a cinnamon and raisin bagel, that invigorating coastal air and the oceanscape outside as the soundtrack.

One chapter turned into two and two became three and before Chris knew it, the sun was high in the sky and lunchtime beckoned. It was shaping up to be a beautiful summer day in Rowayton and Chris thought it would be a crying shame to spend his time at home, even if the page-turner he’d held in his hands moments ago seemed incredibly appealing out on the back deck overlooking the water. It was then he decided to take advantage of that gorgeous sunshine, take in the scenery and stretch his legs by going for a walk into town to pick up a few essentials at Rowayton Market. For all it was a small, it contained everything he would need to keep him going for a few more days until he’d finally need to drive into Norwalk to do a more substantial grocery shop, something that he’d admittedly been putting off. The Market also had some of the best baked goods and fresh coffee in the village and if you asked Chris it would be pretty rude to not take advantage – it was right there, after all, and Chris never could say no to a still-warm Danish and Americano.

He walked slower than he usually would, a conscious effort on his part due to the fact that his legs seemed to want to go into an auto-pilot primed for life in New York City. He was in no rush though, he never was whenever he came here and even though it was a route he’d walked hundreds of times before, and one he would walk hundreds more, Chris still wanted to soak in all the pretty trees and shrubs that were nestled in amongst those classical New England style homes, all shingled exteriors and white, gridded windows in soft muted colours that mirrored the coastal landscape of the village. It was a world away from the brick and the concrete and the bright lights of the city and while Chris loved all of those things about New York and loved wandering through the streets of Tribeca and Soho, getting lost in bookstores and hole-in-the-wall cafes, he also loved the sand, shale and stars and those were things that he just couldn’t find in the city that never slept.

There were quite a few people out and about, Chris noted, most of them he recognised as being residents with their friendly smiles and waved greetings, but there were a handful of tourists too; there always was on weekends during the summer. Not that Chris minded, of course, because for all the village was a popular escape for those seeking a break from the metropolitan life of the nearby hub of cities, it never succumbed to the all-too-often inevitability of commercialisation and still managed to hold on to its peaceful charm, despite it not quite being the quaint fishing village it once was back in the days before the Civil War.

It was one of the reasons why Chris found himself retreating here in the summer and not making the trip back home to spend the off-season in Massachusetts. He would go back to Boxford for a couple of weeks, naturally, because family was something that had always been important to Chris and he would never miss an opportunity to spend time with his parents and sister, but if he had the choice between spending his entire summer being bitten to death by mosquitoes back home (his father always did say that they were the town bird, after all) or feeling the gentle kiss of the ocean breeze against his skin, there was no real contest. Rowayton would always win.

The main street through town was busier, which wasn’t exactly unexpected and if anything it only seemed to add to the charm of the village. Chris decided to head straight to the market to pick up his groceries, if only to facilitate the Danish eating in a more timely-fashion. He picked up a basket as he entered and proceeded to add only the essentials he’d need to get him through the next couple of days. He’d pay for his shopping before going to the coffee bar, because trying to pack his reusable grocery bag with a full takeout cup was a mistake he’d made once before and was sure to never repeat again.

With his groceries purchased and bags packed in such a way that the couple of bottles of wine he’d picked up wouldn’t clink together when he walked (it was three to be exact but after seeing the selection of cured meats, cheeses and olives available he thought it’d be a crime if they didn’t find their way into his basket to come home with him, and if there was cheese there had to be wine), Chris made his way to the coffee counter situated near the Market entrance.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d taken a trip away without the company of anyone else but the last couple of months at work had been incredibly stressful, with projects seemingly coming out of your ears and while you knew your mother had been worried by your suggestion of taking off somewhere alone for the weekend, she also knew better than to fight you on something you’d quite clearly already set your mind to. If you were being completely honest, your plans for the first full weekend you’d had off in months would have consisted of not setting foot outside of your apartment or engaging in any kind of unnecessary conversation had you decided to stay home in Hartford, at least this way you’d be getting some fresh air and the sun on your face.

It was just shy of a two hour drive down to Rowayton, which had the dual benefit of being close enough to home that it didn’t feel like a huge trek just to get there, but also being far enough away that you would be a complete stranger in this town and could take the time to decompress and recharge while blending into the background, and the place was pretty to boot. You’d found a little studio Airbnb not too far away in South Norwalk, figuring that you’d only be using it as somewhere to sleep as you’d planned on spending as much of your time as possible being right by that ocean with the wind in your hair and the warm sun on your skin.

That’s how you’d planned on spending your Saturday afternoon, sat on the sand of Bayley Beach with a good book and a cup of coffee. It was set to be a balmy day, with temperatures sitting in the mid-eighties and the last thing you wanted to be doing in the heat was any amount of excessive walking. So with that in mind, you’d spent your morning exploring the village and taking in the sights and sounds. The gentle protest of your stomach told you it was lunchtime before you’d even taken the opportunity to glance down at your watch and a quick Google search pointed you in the direction of somewhere to get that all important cup of coffee and a small bite to eat.

Rowayton Market didn’t look like much from the outside in the sense that it was a little on the petite side, but the reviews were great and the coffee was allegedly some of the best in the village and that was good enough for you. You were greeted with the smell of freshly baked goods and ground coffee, which was welcoming enough before you even saw the bright smile of the girl behind the counter. Your eyes drifted over the selection of pastries, each one more delicious looking than the last and you knew that you were going to have a hard time choosing just one. You knew you’d have to make a decision, though, suddenly aware of the small line that had seemingly materialised right out of thin air behind you and while you were sure that these people were more accustomed to a slower pace of life, the city girl in you, who was so used to living life in the fast lane, didn’t want to keep these good people waiting while you deliberated. You’d go with your usual and that would be that.

Chris’s attention was fixed out of the large glass windows at the front of the shop, watching as people milled in the street and went about their daily business. It was something he quite often did, whether he was here or back home in New York. There was something oddly soothing about watching the world go by, he thought, and occasionally he’d catch something that would quirk his lips up into a smile, like the sight before him now of a rather large gull in the process of committing larceny against what he could only assume was an unsuspecting tourist. Their sandwich was held high above their head while their free hand attempted to shoo the bird away with little success. He chuckled quietly to himself then, not least because the gulls seemed to get more brazen with each year that passed and he was sure that one of these days he’d see someone’s lunch get snatched right out of their hand by the feathered menaces.

Chris had no reason at all to believe as he stood in that line that everything was about to change. Why would he? The day had started like any other. He’d picked up his groceries in this store more times than he could count, he’d waited in a line just like this one for his coffee and Danish and yet, in that moment, something as innocuous as a woman’s voice would bring feelings that he thought he was done with, and memories he thought had strayed out of his mind for good, flooding back to the surface. But it wasn’t just any woman’s voice, no, it wasn’t as detached and neutral as that. It was your voice; a voice he hadn’t heard in nine years and it was something as simple as a coffee order, an order that he now knew to have remained the same since the day you’d first met at Boston College all those years ago, that blew the dam wide open and every word the two of you had ever spoken, from day one to the last thing you ever said to him, came rushing back.

The sound of Chris’s voice calling your name was something you never thought you’d hear out loud again. It was a voice you’d only heard in your dreams for many years after he walked out of your life, but even that had faded beyond memory to where you weren’t a hundred percent certain that you’d be able to remember what it sounded like anymore. And yet, in the middle of a tiny supermarket in Rowayton, you heard him clear as day with his tongue rolling around the syllables of your name with the same fondness, even after all this time and it was like you’d never forgotten the sound at all.

Autumn was beginning to make her presence felt in Boston. The palette on campus had shifted from a spectrum of vivid greens to shades of deep russet, amber, ochre and vermillion; but even above the changing leaves, the turning of the calendar brought a slight chill to the air that had you reaching for your jacket on a morning as you left your dorm.

Today was no different. The temperature had dropped again overnight as November creeped ever closer and it was chilly enough that you had to draw your coat tighter around you as you walked across campus towards class. Your brisk pace had bought you enough time to make a stop at the coffee stand just outside of Campion where your first class of the day was being held. There was a decent selection on offer, but it wasn’t enough to sway you from ordering your usual.

You rooted around your backpack for your wallet while the barista prepared your coffee and grabbed you your cinnamon roll, unaware of the new presence to your right, before handing over the money and taking the coffee and pastry bag from the young man’s hands.

“Coffee and cinnamon roll, eh? Now that’s the breakfast of champions.”

You turned your head towards the source of the voice, lips quirking into a small smile at the sight of the stranger beside you who looked to be not much older than you were, incredibly tall and broad for his apparent age but not for his height. He was grinning at you with a fullness that made his eyes crinkle at the corners and gave him a unique kind of softness.

“My mom would disagree,” you replied with a smirk. “If she found out I was having this for breakfast she’d be in her car so fast and dragging my ass back to Hartford.”

He laughed at that, loud and bright with his head tipped back slightly before running a hand through his dark brown hair that was shorter on the sides but had the faintest hint of a curl at the longer strands on top.

“I won’t tell her if you don’t.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not telling her,” you grinned as you swung your backpack over one shoulder. “So looks like you’re sworn to secrecy.”

You studied him for a brief moment, with the way he was still grinning at you and his eyes that seemed to sparkle behind his dark lashes before your brain gently reminded you that you, in fact, had somewhere you needed to be. “Well, I hate to impose a vow of silence on you like some sort of mafia boss and then immediately split but I uh I gotta head to class.”

“No problem at all and hey, your secret is safe with me. In fact, I’ve forgotten already. What were we talking about?”

There it was again, that smile of his that made you want to stay rooted right where you were standing and look at it all day, but class beckoned and so you gave an awkward wave of your hand and a soft laugh before you turned and headed into the building behind you without another glance back. If you had you’d have seen the stranger from the coffee stand watch until you’d disappeared from view, with that smile still on his face.

This little routine of yours would continue over the course of the next few weeks. Every Tuesday morning, at around 8:45am, you’d find yourself stood at that coffee stand outside of Campion to get your coffee and cinnamon roll, and every Tuesday morning, at around 8:46am, the tall stranger would appear beside you with his kind eyes and his bright smile. You’d exchange a ‘hello’ and a friendly grin and you’d laugh more often than not too while you made pleasant small talk before you both said your goodbyes and went to your respective classes, though you would always leave first and he would watch you go until you’d disappeared into the building.

It was mid-November, now, and the campus of Boston College was firmly in autumn’s frigid grasp. The temperatures continued to drop, seemingly overnight, which had you bundled up in your hat and scarf and the trees had shed their branches of leaves, crunching underfoot with the slight frost as you made your way towards Campion. Your hands were shoved deep into your coat pockets to ward off the gnawing chill and you were looking forward to being able to warm them around your coffee cup.

You approached the stand as normal, rooting through your backpack for your wallet ready to order.

“Hey!”

You looked up, your features fixed in a state of mild confusion while you looked for the source of the voice you recognised but couldn’t quite place. It was then you saw him though, all bright eyed and bushy tailed with a medium coffee and pastry bag held up in one of his large hands as if on display. He was grinning at you and cocked his head, beckoning you over with the wordless gesture.

“Hey, yourself,” you smiled as you approached. “What’s this then?” You tilted your head slightly at the items in his hand as he offered them to you.

“Breakfast of champions.”

Your eyebrow quirked as you took the coffee from him before taking a tentative sip, smiling while the warm liquid slid down your throat.

“You got my coffee order right.”

“It wasn’t hard,” he smirked. “You order the same thing every week and if you open that little paper bag I think you’ll find a cinnamon roll in there.”

Sure enough, as you opened the bag you were greeted with the sight of a perfectly formed cinnamon roll and you couldn’t help the grin that sparked at your lips and spread the full width of your face.

“I don’t order the same thing every week.”

“You do,” he replied with a laugh. “Every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks you’ve come to this coffee stand and ordered a medium Americano with half and half and a cinnamon roll and every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks I’ve been meaning to ask you your name.”

Your face flushed warm at that, not only at his words but at the sure little smile he was giving you and the way his eyes were sparkling. In fact, now that you were really looking at him properly, you were knocked back a bit by the perpetual kindness that seemed to rest in them and you couldn’t help but notice how they really were the perfect shade of hazel, like a forest with a deep bark heart surrounded by leaves that were every shade of green. You’d been quiet a little too long though and so you took a settling sip of coffee to give you enough time to find your voice again and tell him your name.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled as he offered you his hand, which was large and warm as you shook it.

“And who should I thank for the coffee?” you asked.

His smile grew into a grin then, the kind that you’d noticed over the course of the last few weeks that made his eyes crinkle and happiness radiate from him, before simply replying:

“Chris.”

“Chris?”

It was as if time had stood still in that little Market in Rowayton, where your surroundings become a still-frame and there’s nothing but static in your ears. You’d often thought about what it would have been like to see him again. Those first couple of years after he’d left Boston College had you imagining all kinds of scenarios, much like the one you were in right now where you’d bump into each other in a supermarket or a pharmacy, anywhere really, but now that you were living it, seeing it, breathing it, there was nothing you could have conjured up in your imagination that would have prepared you for what it would really feel like to see him again. If you were to be completely honest, you were glad that your coffee and cinnamon roll were still on the top of the counter because you were certain that they would have fallen right out of your hands and onto the Market floor.

He abandoned his position in the line then, as if you speaking his name was a call to him, and maybe it was, on some level, but the truth and simplicity of it was that you were suspended in a state of pure disbelief and even in the short time it took for him to close the distance between you both, you were still yet to move and fix your features to something more neutral.

“Hey.”

It was a simple greeting that he gave you and logically you knew that there wasn’t really any tangible meaning behind that single word he spoke and yet there was something about the look in his eyes and the warmth in the smile he gave you.

“It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you replied, finally finding your voice. “You look, you look good.”

It wasn’t a lie either, he did look good. The tall college boy you remembered, who was just a little too slight for his height, had filled out; you could tell that just from the way the fabric of his t-shirt stretched across the broad plains of his chest and strained around his biceps, and he was no longer clean shaven, which was something that had always made him look quite baby-faced. Instead he was sporting a neatly trimmed goatee and while he had kept his hair short on the sides, just like you’d remembered it, it was longer on the top than it had been in college and the curls were sweeping in a way that reminded you of the waves just beyond the Market door. He looked older, yes, which is exactly what you would have expected in the nine years since you’d last seen him but his eyes were still exactly the same, sparkling and full of mischief , yet still soft, perhaps even softer than before on account of the faint lines around them drawn by time’s fair hand.

“So do you,” he grinned. “You cut your hair.”

“I did,” you looked down as your face flushed with warmth, unsure exactly what you were supposed to say to him.

It was something you’d thought about during those imagined scenarios where you’d magically bump into each other again and you’d thought about all of the things that you would say to him. You would tell him about how much you’d cried when he left you behind to live out his boyhood dream and how angry you were that he didn’t want you to be a part of that, how it felt like all the plans you’d ever talked about were nothing more than empty words and how hurt that had made you feel. You felt like you at least deserved that, especially given that it was never just a casual fling between you both. After all, you’d been practically inseparable for two years. You’d been inseparable ever since he’d said those three words that mean so much. But now that he was here in front of you, all those words that had swirled around in your head and in your chest like a hurricane for so long, dissipated into nothing and you found yourself clutching at straws to find something, anything, to say.

Chris could sense this though. Of course he could because he was Chris and he had always been so in tune with you and your emotions and the fact that he was still able to read you so well was both a comfort and a knife in your chest, and while he internally grimaced at the fact he was having to fall back on using small talk between you both, he felt like it was what you needed in the moment. He wouldn’t expect things to go back to how they were after all this time, he couldn’t, and so he started with something simple, something he knew you would be able give him an answer to.

“So, what brings you to sunny Rowayton?”

“I could ask you the same question,” you replied.

“Ah,” Chris grinned, trying to keep the mood light. “See I asked you first and also, I live here so therefore the ‘question answering’ responsibility falls back to you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, at both his words and the silly little expression he was wearing and despite all the years that sat between you both like a void and all of your hurt that was held within it, it all seemed to briefly melt away and in that moment it was like you were back at that little coffee stand outside of Campion.

“I didn’t realise this was an interrogation. Wait is this one of those little weird cult towns? Should I be worried?”

Chris knew by the little smirk you were wearing that you meant no malice behind your words and so he responded by sucking in air through his teeth before speaking again with one of those smiles that went all the way up to his eyes.

“Watch it, Pickle.”

Your stomach fell right into your shoes in that moment, that name he used only for you slipped from his lips like it was the easiest thing in the world for him to do, like he’d never stopped calling you it and like it hadn’t been nine years since you’d last spoke a word to one another. Chris knew all this of course and he didn’t need to rely on intuition either because he could see every emotion written all over your face.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly on the exhale of a breath. “I um.. Force of habit, I guess.”

“It’s okay,” you muttered, not quite meeting his eyes. “Although not exactly ‘habit’, it’s been how long?”

Chris winced at that, the reality of how he left things between you both slapping him in the face and he was filled with the guilt that he’d spent almost a decade pushing out of his chest and shoving into the darkest corner of his memory where he would hope it would rest undisturbed. He knew that you were angry at him for leaving things the way he did, how could you not be? After all, he was the one who had broken your heart and left you in Boston, but it was never as simple as that, even back then there was so much he should have said but that was something he wouldn’t realise until much later when it was too late to repair the damage. The thinly veiled hurt in your eyes and the way your mouth was downturned was demonstrative of that fact.

“I know,” he all but whispered. “It just-“

“It’s fine, Chris. Can we just forget about it? Please?”

He nodded, watching with a quiet kind of sadness on his features as you turned to finally pick your coffee and cinnamon roll up off the counter before he cleared his throat softly to continue speaking.

“You never did say what brought you into town.”

You took a sip of coffee to give yourself long enough to settle the thundering in your chest before answering him, because for all your heart felt like it was about to burst from all the hurt you’d managed to hide away up until now, there was also a weird sense of nostalgia that came with seeing him and hearing his voice again, and even though he’d shattered your heart completely when he decided he no longer wanted you in his life, your mother had raised you right and you knew the proper thing to do was to indulge him in a little small talk, even if for nothing more than old time’s sake.

“Just here for the weekend,” you replied. “Work has been nuts lately and I needed some time away from home.”

Chris shuffled on his feet for a moment as you spoke while his eyes darted between you and the door that would lead to the outside world and the possibility of the two of you parting once more. It was an unexpected pull that he felt in his chest at that thought, you reappearing in his life out of the blue only to slip out of it just as suddenly by doing something as simple as walking out of that supermarket back out into the wide world. For nine years he’d thought about where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay, if you were happy and with each year that passed without seeing your face or hearing your voice, he’d resigned himself to the fact that you were lost to him, drifting out there in the seas of life never to see you again. He didn’t know why you’d suddenly come back to him now, whether by some stroke of luck or twist of fate, although Chris couldn’t have cared less which one it was. All he cared about was the fact that you were here at all and it was an opportunity that he was sure he wasn’t going to waste. He didn’t even know for certain that you would want to give him any of your time after what had happened when he left Boston, but he wanted to at least give you what he should have all those years ago and that was an explanation and an opportunity for you to tell him how his actions had made you feel.

“Hey, what are you up to this afternoon?”

“Not much,” you shrugged. “I was just going to sit on Bayley Beach and enjoy the nice weather.”

“Would you mind some company? No pressure, of course, I understand if you… I understand if you’d rather not want to spend any time with me.”

You exhaled then and Chris’s shoulders visibly sagged, bracing himself for your polite refusal, but your response was not one that he was expecting and truthfully, it wasn’t one that you had expected either.

“Honestly?” you started, getting swept up in the nostalgia of seeing him again before the rational part of your brain could catch up. “That would be nice.”

“Great,” he smiled in what you could see was pure relief. “Do you mind if I grab a coffee before we head out?”

“Sure,” you replied. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

You headed out the door and were sure to stand where Chris could see you, knowing him well enough to realise that he’d be worrying, at least on some level, that you’d slip off into the crowd. You’d never do that to him, of course, even after everything, because while he had broken your heart, he was also the first person you’d ever truly loved and when you’d put the pieces back together, you couldn’t help but keep a part of him wrapped up amongst the tape and string holding those pieces together while you healed. It was in doing that that you understood that he would always have a special place in your heart and honestly? You were kind of okay with that because while the ending hadn’t exactly been perfect, the two years you’d spent together were and you wouldn’t have changed that time for anything.

You weren’t sure what exactly had possessed you to let Chris talk you into venturing off campus and out in the early-February snow to get burgers at Eagle’s Deli but you were cursing those sparkling eyes and that roguish grin of his for wearing down your sensibilities as you righted yourself after what felt like the hundredth near-fall. It was slushy underfoot, the kind that’s a twisted ankle or sprained knee waiting to happen and while you’d dressed weather appropriately in your winter boots and heavy parka, you were still very newborn lamb-like in your movements which was amusing Chris to no end.

“Come on, slowpoke,” he called from up ahead as he grinned at you over his shoulder.

“Not all of us can be hockey prodigies and thrive in this kind of inclement weather,” you grumbled, shuffling slowly so as not to slip.

Chris laughed as he came back towards you with confident and purposeful steps, surprising you when he offered his arm for you to loop yours through.

“Now, I’m no expert in geography or meteorology but it snows in Hartford, no?”

He was grinning at you, the kind of grin that you had to fight with every fibre of your being not to reciprocate because you’d already committed to your grumpy act and you couldn’t have him thinking he’d cracked you already, even if he, in fact, had.

“Yes,” you stressed. “But I don’t make a habit of going out in it to get burgers like a crazy person.”

The cackle you received from him in reply was loud and a little wild and you couldn’t help but be completely captivated by the way his cheeks were ruddy from the cold and the snowflakes clinging to the curls on top of his head and long eyelashes. Tuesday morning coffees with him outside of Campion before class had turned into coffees in actual cafes during free periods and getting lunch together. It was even dragging your body out into the cold to the Alumni Stadium with your blanket and your thermos to watch Chris play with the BC Eagles because you couldn’t say no to that damn smile and those damn eyes and even now, as you looked at him taking in the scenery along the Chestnut Hill Reservoir pathway, you knew that they were going to be the death of you.

“It’s really pretty along here,” he spoke, more quietly than before; softer too. “You wouldn’t think we were in the middle of Boston.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice walk,” you agreed before shooting him a smirk and a look. “Would be nice in the spring sunshine too.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, Little Miss Chilly.”

“I don’t know what you have against being warm, Kreider. Warm is good, warm is nice-“

You shrieked as your feet went out from under you, courtesy of a patch of black ice hidden under slushy snow and you squeezed your eyes shut in preparation for the impact of your ass hitting the cold, hard ground. But it never came.

“It’s okay,” Chris spoke reassuringly, one hand tight around your bicep while his other arm was curled around your waist, holding you upright. “I’ve got you.”

You opened your eyes then to be met with Chris’s looking right at you, all moss and bark and warm. He was smiling at you but it was different to the easy grin he usually wore around you, this was softer somehow and all rational thought was replaced by one of those monkeys playing the cymbals. For the briefest of seconds, and for reasons completely unknown to you, the monkey tried to take the wheel and the idea of kissing him right there, in the middle of the pathway that had made an attempt on your life, flashed into your head.

Maybe it was the snow and how perfect and picturesque the scene around you felt? Maybe it was the fact he’d just saved you from slipping? But the reality of it was that those eyes and that smile held some sort of power over you that you couldn’t yet fully understand. You shook your head quickly, if only to take back control of the situation before you did something more embarrassing than almost falling on your ass.

“Thanks,” you muttered as you regained your composure. “This damn pathway.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Chris grinned as he turned so his back was to you and stooped slightly. “Hop on.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I never joke about piggy-backs,” he replied in a faux solemn tone with the face to match. “Come on, we’ll get you to the Deli in one piece one way or another.”

And that was how you ended up with your arms looped around Chris’s shoulders and his strong hands holding the backs of your legs as he carried you on his back to Eagle’s Deli.

Not twenty minutes later, the pair of you were shuffling into a booth as you shed your coats, gloves and scarves, Chris grinning at you while you blew on your fingers in an attempt to restore warmth into them.

“See, told you I’d get you here in one piece.”

You scoffed at him and shot a playful glance across the table separating you both.

“You’re not human, that is the only explanation for how you’re able to walk in that,” you nodded towards the window where the snow was still falling to illustrate your point before continuing, “and not fall flat on your face.”

“Or my ass,” he added with a grin.

“Hey, that never actually happened!”

Chris’s face split into an even bigger smile at your little protest and the pout that had formed on your lips and while the gentle teasing between you was simply a part of the dynamic of your friendship, Chris would have been lying if he didn’t admit that the reason he did it so often was because you always looked so adorable trying to rebut him.

“No, you’re right. It didn’t,” he mused with a smirk, not needing to remind you that it was him who had come to your rescue judging from the unimpressed look you were throwing his way.

“All I’m saying is that we could’ve just gone to Hillside for lunch.”

“But the burgers here are superior,” he countered, smiling at you. “And you got to enjoy a beautiful walk in the snow with me so who’s the real winner he- mmpf!”

Chris was cut off by your damp mitten hitting his face, brows knitting into a slight frown before laughing at the proud grin you wore at the accuracy of your throw.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said with mock hurt.

“Maybe I’m not a very nice person.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” he replied, but there was no teasing in his tone this time, only the kind of sincerity that had your face flushing warm and had you reaching for the menu to hide behind under the pretence of looking at the choices available.

He couldn’t help but smile at the awkwardness with which you were trying and failing to hide from him but soon joined you in picking up a menu and perusing it, despite already knowing what he was going to order.

It was a few moments before the waitress came over and while neither of you spoke the silence between you both wasn’t exactly awkward even though Chris knew there was something about his last words that had had some kind of effect on you. He was right, of course, because despite the fact that you’d had hold of this menu for a good couple of minutes already, you hadn’t actually looked at a single thing on it even though you’d made such a show of doing just that and now that Chris had ordered, a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake, the waitress was looking at you expectantly. Unable to form any kind of rational thought under that kind of pressure, you found yourself simply saying “same” and soon enough it was just you and Chris at the table once more.

Chris was looking at you like he had something he wanted to say and the unreadable expression on his face had you feeling somewhat uneasy for reasons you hadn’t quite ascertained but probably understood on some level if you let yourself think about it for more than a second. He could feel the nervous energy radiating from you though and so rather than pursue his current train of thought, he picked a topic of conversation that was much safer and knew you’d be comfortable with: school.

You talked about your classes and upcoming assignments while he listened intently and you returned the favour while he spoke earnestly about hockey and his own academic workload. It was so easy to settle into a natural rhythm with Chris whenever you talked, as if you’d been having conversations like these for years when in fact it had only been a few months of knowing him and a few weeks of meeting up like this. None of that seemed to really matter though, not when the conversation was good and the chemistry felt right and especially not when it was clear that you were both on the same page when it came to your friendship. There was something else there though, something that was beyond being purely platonic, that much was becoming crystal clear and yet despite the ease in which it was to talk to him about literally anything else, there was something that had you stumbling over the thought of bringing it up.

You were saved from falling down that particular rabbit hole by the reappearance of the waitress, two burgers that were big enough to have your eyes popping out of your head in her hands. Chris chuckled from behind his milkshake at the look of disbelief on your face as your burger was set down in front of you before he reached for the bottle of ketchup between you both. You took the top of your burger bun off, nose immediately wrinkling at the sight of four pickle slices resting on top of the lettuce and tomato.

“Ugh, I forgot to ask for no pickles.”

Chris looked up from where he was squirting ketchup onto his bun, his eyes meeting yours briefly as his face split into a grin.

“You’re not one of those people, are you?”

“Shut up,” you grumbled as you began to pick the offensive green menaces off your food and set them at the edge of your plate. “I like what I like.”

Chris reached across and began to transfer the pickles from your plate to his burger, smiling widely at you as he did so.

“Well, I might have found a solution to this particular pickle you find yourself in,” he chuckled at the exaggerated groan and roll of your eyes at the expense of his joke. “You see, I love pickles.”

“You love anything,” you countered. “You’re like a human dumpster.”

“Hurtful,” he replied as he clutched at his chest. “But also true so I’ll allow it.”

You picked up a fry from your plate and threw it at him, immediately filled with equal parts surprise and a strange sense of awe as he reflexively moved and caught it in his mouth.

“You really are a dumpster,” you grinned as you shook your head at the proud little smile he was giving you.

“I am, so how about you don’t ask for no pickles on your burgers and you just give ‘em to me instead?”

It was easy to agree to his proposal, not least because his logic actually made a lot of sense when you thought about it, but mostly because of the way his eyes were sparkling and the way his smile made you feel warm all over, like the falling snow and freezing air outside didn’t exist, like your fingers and toes hadn’t been numbed by the biting cold during your walk here, like there had only ever been sunshine. It was also why you’d agreed to let him carry you back through the snow to your dorm, his large hands hooked around the backs of your thighs and your arms draped over his shoulders much like during the walk to the diner. You’d protested initially, of course, not wanting to burden Chris or put you both at risk of an injury due to the slippery conditions, but he wasn’t about to be convinced otherwise and remained unperturbed by the weather, gently reminding you that he had in fact got you to the diner in one piece in the first instance at your objections.

Truthfully, despite the mild embarrassment you felt at your complete ineptitude when it came to walking on ice, you couldn’t help but be more than a little impressed at Chris’s sheer strength. You wondered then, about how hard he must work in the gym to develop such a strong core because while you knew from first-hand experience how slippery it was underfoot, he didn’t falter once throughout the entire walk home and with the way he was talking amiably about his favourite places in the city he called home, and how his hands were holding your legs so surely and securely, you felt safe as houses with your chest pressed into his back – even with your thick coats and layers of winter clothing between you.

He walked with you on his back right up to the entrance of your dorm, setting you down carefully on the pathway that looked to have been newly shovelled before he turned to face you, his cheeks once again ruddy from the cold and your walk home.

“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ twice in one day,” he grinned, sucking air in through his teeth and shaking his head slightly. “But didn’t I say that I’d get you home safely?”

“So what if you were right twice?” you rebutted with a playful nudge. “It’s not like it’s ever gonna happen again.”

“Watch it, Pickle. I’ll have you know that I’m right about a lot of things.”

“Pickle?” you barked out a laugh, watching as Chris walked slowly backwards down the path away from you with that smile still on his face. “What kind of a name is that? I don’t even like pickles.”

“I know,” he called out into the growing distance between you both. “But I do, remember?”

You shook your head at him, chuckling to yourself with a smile on your lips that mirrored his as you watched him.

“See ya Tuesday then, Trash Can!” you hollered.

His raucous cackle cut through the silent flurry as he continued to walk slowly backwards, his grin clear as day even through the falling snowflakes.

“Trash Can! Fucking, Trash Can! Man, you got some serious chirps, Pickle. Can you throw hands too? I mean, I know you suck at keeping your balance on the ice but we could use an enforcer! I could push you around?”

“Anytime, anywhere!” you laughed, watching him with a grin until he had waved his goodbye and turned away before he retreated into the heavy snow.

Part ii

#it's all coming back to me fic #my writing #chris kreider #chris kreider fic #chris kreider x reader #nhl fic #nhl writing #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing

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niksixx · 4 years

Text

Close as Strangers

Requested: Nope!

Pairing: The Dirt!Tommy Lee x Fem!Reader

Description: Based on the song ‘Close as Strangers’ by 5 Seconds of Summer. Lyrics are bold and italicized.

A/N: Reblog and leave your own tags!! Thanks for supporting me :)

*GIF is NOT mine. Found on Google. Credit to the owner.*

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Six weeks since I’ve been away

And now you’re saying everything has changed

And I’m afraid that I might be losing you

And every night that we spend alone

It kills me thinking of you on your own

And I wish I was back home next to you

Tommy had a job to do whether you liked it or not. Mötley Crüe was at the height of their success, landing tours in countries all across the globe. Being unfamiliar with the music scene, having a rockstar boyfriend was much harder than it looked. You supported him in every way, being there for him as his fame grew, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said it wasn’t difficult at times.

Shortly after Mötley Crüe’s debut in America, your relationship crossed over the line from casual to serious. You and Tommy adored each other, two halves of one whole, but lately you felt your relationship slipping right through your fingers. And the worst part was there was no motivation to save it.

“I’ve only been gone six weeks, honey.”

Six weeks too many. Now on his second tour, Tommy was busier than ever. Phone calls after every show were either late or nonexistent. In the event that he didn’t call, you tried not to take it personally, finding random things around the house to keep you busy, to keep your mind from wandering.

And then the plethora of rumors started and knocked the wind out of you. Tommy would never cheat on you, his heart was too loving, his soul too pure, but the paparazzi pictures did their job of convincing you that maybe Tommy had been unfaithful.

There was no denying that your relationship was dwindling, changing for the worst. In your bed, the side Tommy slept on grew colder and colder each night he was gone. The body pillow that rests in his place was too soft, lacking the firmness of Tommy’s body that you’d grown to love as you fell asleep beside him. The blankets didn’t compare to having his arms wrapped tightly around your frame.

Everything was just...different.

“Am I...am I losing you?”

No.

It was the word you wanted to scream out to him on the other end of the line, but it wasn’t the word that came out.

“I miss you so much, babe. I hate that I’m not there with you. I’d do anything to come back home to you.”

And you’d give anything to have him back, too.

Are we wasting time? Talking on a broken line?

Telling you I haven’t seen your face in ages

I feel like we’re as close as strangers

Won’t give up, even if it hurts so much

Every night I’m losing you in a thousand faces

Now it feels we’re as close as strangers

On the other end of the line, you can hear Tommy’s name being called either by his bandmates, groupies, or partygoers that found their way backstage after the show. He was easily distracted, shouting back and forth or laughing, forgetting that you were patiently, tiptoeing the line of impatiently, waiting for him on the other end.

“Tommy.”

“What? Oh, shit, I’m sorry babe.”

He was always sorry.

Sorry for leaving.

Sorry for forgetting to call.

Sorry about the photos.

Sorry for the excessive drinking.

Sorry for becoming distracted midway through your conversation.

Overtime, the word ‘sorry' lost its value.

And when it did, you became even more distant, intolerant of his inconsistencies.

“Baby?”

“Tommy, I haven’t seen you in three months. The least you can do is give me five fucking minutes on the phone.”

“Woah. Damn. Chill out. I was just talking to Vince.”

“Chill out?” You ask dramatically, now sitting upright in bed. “Chill out? You see Vince every day, Tommy. All I want is a sliver of your time, five minutes, and you’re giving me a hard time about that?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Tommy sighs sadly, scrubbing a hand over his face. Cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, he hastily digs a cigarette from his pocket. He lights it and puffs out a cloud of smoke. “Are you okay, baby? You’re awfully snippy.”

You had every right to be snippy. Miles away in a foreign country, Tommy was living the life he always wanted for himself, all the while you were at home, going through the motions of an ordinary day seven days a week.

At times you were jealous of his success, as it had been the factor that took him away from you. It was hard being cooped up alone in a house that was meant for two people.

In theory, you’d be fine if the effort was there. But amid Tommy’s hectic lifestyle, you were floating in the background unseen.

The sigh from your lips was one of defeat. “No, Tommy, I’m not okay. I feel like my boyfriend is a stranger to me now. I miss you more and more every night, but lately I feel like giving up.”

Tommy pauses, heart racing. His grip on the cigarette tightens. He didn’t like where this was going. “On what?”

The lump in your throat grows, fingers gripping the phone tighter. You almost choke on the words, wondering if it’s a sign to hold them back. “On us.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Tommy repeats in a rush, hand firmly planted against the cool brick wall behind the payphone. “Don’t say that, baby. Don’t you dare say that. I love you. I love you so much, you know that, right? And I miss you. I miss you all the time. When I’m up on that stage and I look out into the crowd, the only face I don’t see that I really want to see is yours.”

Maybe you should’ve kept the words at bay. But what good would hiding your feelings do? Even thousands of miles away, Tommy could pick up on the cues. The slightest change in your voice could send him into a panic.

“Tommy, being away from you for so long is so exhausting and I just...I don’t want to spend my time sulking and crying and waiting for you to come home. You’re struggling to make time for me when all I want is a five minute phone call, the media keeps reporting that you’re drinking more than usual, and the photos...the photos are tearing my heart in pieces.” You try not to think of the photos or of the groupies that made it their priority to sleep with men like Tommy, but the images were burned into your brain. “I feel like you’ve been on tour forever and I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

Tommy’s world comes crashing down around him. Just thinking of you ending the relationship has him sucking in nervous breaths, mind whirling with possible solutions to save your relationship. There was no way he was letting you get away from him. He wouldn’t give you up so easily.

“What if you come on tour with us?” He questions suddenly. “You wouldn’t have to worry about seeing me because we’d always be together. Come on baby, let me show you the world.” He’s sure this idea will work. You’ve mentioned before how the rest of the world seems nonexistent, as you’ve never traveled anywhere outside your immediate country. He’s giving you the chance, and he hopes you’ll take it.

But his high hopes come crashing down as you don’t think twice about rejecting his proposal. “I have my own life to live, Tommy. I can’t drop everything and spend the next four months in twenty different cities. I have to work so I can pay rent and pay for groceries and bills. Be realistic.”

Tommy frowns, crushing the butt of his cigarette under his boot. “You were just complaining about not seeing me. I give you a way to do that and you shut it down.”

The tips of your nails suddenly become important as you cradle the phone between your ear and shoulder. You pick and pick, teeth biting the corner of your bottom lip as you do so.

“Baby, tell me where your head’s at,” His voice is small now, unsure. “Tell me you’ll always be here. Please tell me I’m not losing you.”

“I want to be able to say those things. But you’re halfway across the world right now and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I need you here.”

There’s a heavy sigh on the other end of the line as you find yourself sliding off the bed and trudging to the window, staring out into the dark sky. The crescent moon is the only thing illuminating the outside world along with a few street lights on the pavement. Around you, the world outside is quiet. The thoughts in your head? Not so much.

It was a conversation you never wanted to have, but it was necessary. You and Tommy were two different people who needed different things. Was there a chance you were acting selfish by pleading with him to come home? No doubt.

You knew Tommy would never give up his job despite his immense love for you. And while you wanted him to come home, you couldn’t force that decision out of him.

Which is why you had to make the decision yourself.

On the phone I can tell that you wanna move on

Through the tears I can hear that I shouldn't have gone

Everyday gets harder to stay away from you

“Don’t do this,” Words break through Tommy’s quiet sobs as his body is curled in a ball on the floor beside his hotel bed. After receiving what had been the worst news of his life, his legs had given out from underneath him, his body crumbling to the ground. “Please, baby. Don’t do this to us.”

After sleeping on it for a few days, you realized that the only thing you could do was break things off with Tommy. The road to your decision was a long and rough one, but hopefully it would be worth it if there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

But it was hard. Leaving your love behind wasn’t supposed to be easy. You had your doubts, and numerous what-ifs made you question your decision.

In the end, you knew it was the right choice even if your stubborn boyfriend wouldn’t agree with you. It wasn’t fair to make Tommy give up his dream in the middle of the band’s success. It was okay to be selfish at times, but this wasn’t one of them.

“You don’t know how hard this is for me,” There’s a crack in your voice, and soon a few tears leak from your eyes. Curled in a ball as well, your body sits heavily on the kitchen floor, back pressed against the stove. “I don’t want to do this. I really don’t want to do this, Tommy. But I can’t ask you to give up your dreams and come home. That’s selfish, and I love you too much to make you choose.”

“You’re not even giving me a choice,” Tommy says angrily, tears flowing freely. He runs a hand through his hair, dragging it down over his face, before slapping it lifelessly against his leg. Exhaling a shaky breath, Tommy leans his head back against the side of the bed. “I shouldn’t have gone. Fuck this, I’m coming home.”

“Tommy, no.” The tone of your voice is firm. You won’t let him sabotage his dreams on your account. “Listen to me. I love you. I do. But this isn’t working for us.”

“It’s not working for you,” Tommy corrects sarcastically, wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand. “Last I checked I wasn’t the one ending our relationship.”

You should have expected this, but his words stung as he spit them back to you. There’s no way you can blame him. He’s hurt. He’s angry. You deserve the lashing out for blindsiding him.

“You know I never cheated on you, right?” Tommy sniffles. The thought of being unfaithful to you had never even crossed his mind. “The photos, I mean.”

You nod. “I didn’t think you would.”

The long pause between the phone line is eerie. Tommy’s labored breathing is audible on the other end of the phone, and it’s not the type of breathing from the exhaustion after a wild show. It’s panic. It’s fear. It’s the feeling of loss.

“I told myself I’d fight for you, but if this is what you want, then I’ll let you go,” The words surprise you. Part of you had already imagined Tommy packing for the first available flight, but the defeat in his voice told you otherwise. He was staying put. “You deserve to be happy, and if I can’t do that then--.”

“Tommy, you’ve made me so happy. The happiest I’ve ever been,” There was no denying that. You had never laughed more, smiled more, loved more, than when Tommy became an integral piece of your life. “But it’s just--.”

“Right person, wrong time?”

The last piece of your beating heart shatters. The phone almost slips from your clammy palm as the reality of his words hit you. “Yeah. Exactly.”

Your life would be different if you’d met Tommy at the right time. There’d be no hesitation, no confusion, just blissful love.

Tommy clears his throat and it sinks into your bones that there was a large possibility this would be the last conversation you’d have with him. “Before you go, I want you to know something,” Tommy pauses to gather his thoughts. “I want you to know that we’re going to be together again one day. When all this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m never going to let you go. You’re the one for me, Y/N. I’m letting you go now because I love you, but I’m going to win you back again. That’s a promise.”

One final tear slips down your cheek. “I hope you do.”

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lia-jones · 3 years

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Growing Together - Chapter 18 - What We Leave Behind

“Listen carefully, my love. You don’t get a say about your life. You don’t get a say about that baby’s life. You don’t even get to decide where you go. I’m the one who decides who stays and who goes, and I decide who gets to live. Let me tell you what I have decided.”

I tried to focus on the file again, trying to let the numbers printed on it grab me. It was useless, I couldn’t concentrate on work. I put the file aside and turned on the TV. I let my eyes zone out on the image, I had no idea what was on. My mind was somewhere else already.

Victor didn’t tell me much about the conversation he had with Gavin after the double date, acting evasive every time I asked, trying to distract me with other subjects. I knew that I wouldn’t get a lot from him, at best a censored version of the truth, so I went straight to the horse’s mouth. I called Mia. Although she seemed very uncomfortable talking about it, most likely coached by Victor to keep silent about it, I managed to pull from her whatever I needed to know.

Apparently, Daniel had seen the article about my engagement and planned his crime very carefully. He bribed one of the caterer workers to gain entrance to the venue, posing as paparazzi. He climbed the tree next to the reception tent, and waited, rifle in hand, hiding from the commotion. His plan was to shoot me as we entered the reception tent, and then run to his hotel room and kill himself. If not for Mia’s careful eye for details, spotting some of the tree decorations fallen on the ground, and if not for her cool head, calling Gavin discreetly and sending us away from danger without as much as a peep, I would have been dead. I owed Mia my life. From that moment on, I was more than willing to give her any interview, any article she could ask for, without hesitation. She was the reason Victor still had a wife, and I lived to see the day I would become a mother. She was the reason Daniel was in prison, unable to hurt me anymore.

It didn’t really surprise me that Daniel would try something. To be honest, I was more appalled as to how I could forget about him. The last time I had seen Daniel, I had faced him for once and practically humiliated him, and Victor had made some very real threats. Obviously he wouldn’t just quit, especially now that his ego was hurt. He wasn't the kind of person to just let that go.

Despite my best efforts to build myself a new life, Daniel had become my curse and I would never be able to get rid of him. It was like I had been invisibly branded, and every time I would find relief and happiness, he would come to remind me that he could still hurt me, that he still owned me in some way. No matter how many roles I played in my life, the happy wife, the mother, the successful career woman, a part of me would always be the battered girlfriend. That was my burden to bear, and I felt like I would have to carry it until my very last breath.

However, there was a silver lining: Daniel was in jail for attempted murder, and he would remain there for at least a couple of years. For now, I was safe, and I could go on living my life. And that’s exactly what I planned to do: live the present and leave the past behind the best I could.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

I jumped from my seat on the sofa, surprised to see my husband looking at me with an amused expression.

“Jesus, where did you come from?”

“Where did you come from?” He chuckled. “You were so distracted you didn’t even notice I sat down beside you.”

“Nowhere in particular.” I took a good look at Victor, noticing his ruffled disheveled hair, the loose tie on his neck, the dark circles under his shiny eyes. “How was work?”

“Are you still worried about that piece of scum?” Victor insisted. “He is in jail, and he won’t leave for a very long time. You have nothing to worry about, I will not let anyone hurt my family.”

“I know.” I moved closer to him, combing his hair with my fingers. “It just… reminded me of old wounds.” I downplayed it. “Now tell me, what was so important that I had to spend my evening minus a husband?”

“A meeting with the board of directors.” He pulled me closer to him. “How did it go with Olive? Do you have a date for releasing the final study?”

“Yeah, we decided to do it next year. There is still a lot of data to be analyzed and there are some cases I want to follow more closely.”

“That’s excellent news.” He gave me a mischievous smile. “I plan on making you a very busy woman this year.”

“Sure, since I’m so tired of twiddling my thumbs.” I joked. “What’s on your mind?”

“I want your educated opinion on creating a branch in Europe. In France, to be more precise.”

“You’re thinking about expanding?” I leaned back, surprised. It was the natural next step, business was going well overseas, but he never mentioned it.

“Do you think the timing is wrong?” He frowned.

“As your consultant, I think the timing is perfect.” I answered, putting on my CEO shoes. “LFG is investing more and more in Europe, it’s only natural that it localizes the operations there. Additionally, companies will trust us more if we are neighbors, even if distant ones. And France is a fertile market for the foreseeable future. It’s a brilliant choice of location for a first branch.”

Victor studied my expression.

“And my wife, what does she think?”

I raised my eyebrows, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Things will be pretty hectic.” I looked down. “You will have to travel a lot. We just got Owen.”

Victor’s lips curved in an understanding smile as he ran his hand softly on my hair.

“Not as much as you would think.” His voice was warm and hushed. “I will always find time for us, no matter how busy I get.”

“Promise?”

“You have my word.” He gave me an earnest look, followed by a playful nudge. “Although it will be nice to not always have an ankle biter bossing me around.”

I pulled him closer, my lips almost touching his.

“Admit it, you can’t live without me.” I whispered.

He brushed my lips with his, his eyes dark with passion.

“Got me there.”

Business in the financial world runs fast, but when it came to LFG and CEO Victor Lee, it surely ran faster: my husband wasn’t one to spend his time on something unless it gave him some kind of advantage. Since LCG was LFG’s consultant, and I already knew the market very well, it was no surprise when, a few days later, I found myself surrounded by folders of potential French clients and my schedule packed with meetings for LFG France. In fact, everyone was a lot busier than usual, and it would be normal for some exhaustion to start to show, but surprisingly, there was more of a feeling of excitement in building something new. My team was clearly up to their heads with work, but they were also happy and willing to help out in whatever way they could.

“Alright, so this is it for today. Go home and get some rest.” I concluded yet another meeting with my analysis team. “If you have any questions, either look for me, or Diane, if I am stranded in a meeting. Do not hesitate to ask for help when in doubt. These clients are crucial for us now and we can’t allow for any slip-ups. Got it?”

Everyone nodded, while they gathered their belongings and left the room. I also took my things, going to my office to answer some last minute emails until Victor came from picking Owen from school. At my office door stood a very nervous Kenny.

“You have someone here to see you.” He announced, looking jumpy.

“Well, it can’t be Victor, he left to pick Owen up.” I joked, knowing how nervous my husband made him.

“No… Actually… The lady says she’s your son’s grandmother?”

I felt the blood freezing in my veins. The woman my son’s mother had run away from all her life, the one she had tried to hide her son from, had found us. And God only knew what she had in mind.

I took my phone and stared at it for a moment, wondering if I should call Victor. He was probably driving to Owen’s school, he wouldn’t be much help, and all I would manage was to worry him. The best would be just to talk to the woman and find out what she wanted.

“Send her in.” I prepared myself for battle. I didn’t know what she wanted, but it was probably no good.

From what I had read from Rebbeca’s letter, I imagined her mother much differently than how she presented herself. She was elegant, well dressed, hair impeccable and sporting perfectly natural make-up. She didn’t seem like someone who had given birth in an old car, or who had lived in a trailer park with a drunken boyfriend that molested her daughter. If anything, she looked like my mother.

“Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Lee.” She calmly extended her hand. “Pamela Cole.”

“How can I help you?” I cut to the chase, uninterested in pleasantries.

“I heard you are going to adopt my grandson, Owen.” She looked at the chair in front of my desk, waiting for me to invite her to sit. I didn’t sit either. She wasn’t welcome there, and I wanted to make this visit as brief as possible.

“That still doesn’t tell me why you are here.” I retorted, unwilling to let my guard down.

“I want to see my grandson.” She asserted.

“No.” It came out before I could stop it.

“He is my grandson. I have the right.” She shot back.

“Why now? He spent a year in an orphanage, you never tried to see him once.”

“I didn’t know my daughter had passed away. It was only when I hired a private investigator to look for her that I found the truth.” Her voice caught on her throat. “My poor baby.”

I kept silent, looking at her, my walls fully up. She fidgeted with her purse.

“I imagine Owen is doing well with his new family, and I will be the last to interfere with that.” She continued with a pleading tone. “I just want to see him once. I want him to know that I exist, that he has a background. So one day, when he is older, if he wants to find out more about his family of origin or his mother, I can tell him all about her.”

“His mother spent her very short life trying to keep him away from you. She specifically said the social services shouldn’t look for the next of kin.” I gave her my best hard look. Her eyes instantly filled with tears.

“I can’t say I was a good mother, I was not. I was a terrible mother, because I had a terrible mother myself and I didn’t know how to be a good one.” A tear escaped her eyes. “I became a monster, with a heart filled with hatred and selfishness. But if I didn’t give, it was because I didn’t have anything to give.”

She paused for a moment, trying to compose herself. Despite my best efforts to keep my defenses up, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

“All the mistakes I made, I paid for them.” Tears kept rolling down her face. “I have lost my child, can you imagine a greater price to pay? She was all I had left that was good in my life, and I sought her out to ask for her forgiveness, only to find out she was dead. Owen is all I have left. Let me at least see him once, and ask him for forgiveness.”

I didn’t know what to say, torn between protecting my son and giving him a chance to meet his real family. I looked at the time, it was 5:50. I took my coat from the hanger, moving towards the door.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cole, but I need to ask you to leave, I-”

“You are a mother now, you know what it feels like.” She held my hand. “If you did wrong to your son, and his son was the only thing you had left of him, wouldn’t you do everything to make it right? Owen is my last chance. A visit, that’s all I ask.”

My phone buzzed, it was a text from Victor.

We are almost there. Get ready.

“Mrs. Cole, if you want to do right by your daughter, respect her wishes. Stay away from Owen. Now, If you’ll excuse me, I have to leave.” I opened the door of my office, waiting for her to exit.

I was suddenly out of breath, my mind reeling with the new events. I tried hard to make sense of what had happened, tried to reach a conclusion but none would come. I just could feel the tightness in my chest. When I looked at my hands, they were shaking.

For some reason, I couldn’t tell Victor right away. On the drive home, I let myself sit on the luxurious leather upholstery, go only where my mind wanted me to go, watching the city lights outside, the banter between Victor and Owen as background to my thoughts.

“Mr. Sawyer called me to his office again today.” That piece of information quickly took me out of my stupor.

“Again?” I couldn’t help the venom in my voice. “What did that idiot want?”

Victor glanced at me sideways, surprised by my sudden outburst.

“What did he want?” He asked, his tone way calmer than mine.

“To apologize for accusing me of stealing the geode.” Owen chirped, happy. “I said it was ok, that Mom always says we should be forgiving with ignorant people, they don’t know better.”

Victor let out a hearty laughter. Me, on the other hand, could feel the blood rise to my cheeks.

“You said it like that?” I turned to my son, stunned. “What did he say?”

“He got really red and sent me to recess.” Owen shrugged. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You did absolutely nothing wrong.” Victor chimed in. “You didn’t say he was ignorant. If the shoe fits, it’s his problem.”

“So you support this?” I glared incredulously at Victor. “Like father, like son: no filter whatsoever.”

Victor was too amused to care for my scolding, still chuckling at Owen’s boldness. I resumed my meditative state. I felt exhausted.

“It wasn’t that bad.” He took his hand from the gear shift, lacing his fingers with mine. “But Mom is right, Owen. Although some things may be true, doesn’t mean we should say them.”

“Thank you.” I pretended to be upset, but couldn’t help my smile. “I wish I was there to see it.”

“To be a fly on the wall…” Victor declared, making us both laugh.

Back at home, helping Victor cook dinner and hearing about his day, I was able to relax a little. Victor in the kitchen was a totally different person, relaxed and witty, making silly puns to make me or Owen laugh, or humming some tune while he prepared the food. It was a treat to see him like that, juggling spice jars and tapping the lids of the pots with spoons, letting all his silliness come out for us to see. I couldn’t help but watch him in endearment, laughing to myself when he would catch me staring and blush slightly, my heart slowly letting go of all the problems, focused on feeling this bliss instead.

However, as we were kissing Owen goodnight, the tightness in my chest returned. I had to tell Victor about the unexpected visit I got, and I had no idea how to go about it. Whose side was I on? Part of me found that Owen had the right to know more about his family of origin, his culture, his heritage, and even build a healthy bond with his grandmother. If she really had changed, if she saw the error in her ways, they both deserved that chance. But what if she didn’t change? What if I would open a door, only to have a lot of ugliness coming into our lives, into my son’s life? I couldn’t risk that.

I went to the kitchen under the pretense of making us tea to give my heart some time to figure out all it was feeling. And to build the courage to tell Victor. My guess was he wouldn’t like it one bit.

“Are you listening?” He startled me once again, making me drop the wooden box I was holding, sending tea bags everywhere.

“Bell. You definitely need that bell.” I snapped, while I arranged the tea bags back in the box. “What were you saying?”

“You’ve been acting strange since I picked you up from work.” I could feel his eyes studying me as I turned to get the boiling water. “Something is clearly upsetting you.”

“Upsetting me? No, what makes you say I’m upset?” I played dumb, trying to buy myself some time.

“You rub your forehead when you’re upset.” He said matter-of-factly. “Will you tell me why?”

“Which flavor do you want?” I showed him the box, unable to look at him for some reason.

“Why are you upset?” He insisted. “Is it still because of that spineless prick?”

I sighed in resignation, knowing all too well Victor would not drop the subject, especially knowing he was on to something. Apparently he understood that I was about to spill the beans, as he patiently waited for me to finish preparing the tea and sit on the counter next to him.

“Someone came to visit me today.” I started.

“Can you please get to the point already?” He was starting to get exasperated. “Who visited you?”

I braced myself for impact, not really sure why.

“Owen’s grandmother.”

Victor stared at me for a moment, although I knew he wasn’t seeing me at all. I could almost hear the wheels turn inside his head, analyzing all the implications of such a visit. In a second, his relaxed expression was gone, replaced with a steely look and his characteristic poker face.

“What does she want?” Victor’s eyes were set on the counter as he spoke, cold and emotionless.

“She says she has changed, and was looking for her daughter to reconcile, when she found she was dead. She wants to see Owen.”

“You told her no.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a statement. It almost felt like a warning.

“I told her Rebecca didn’t want her seeing Owen, and that she should respect her wishes.”

“Did she say anything about the adoption?”

“Only that she knew we were adopting him and she knew he was safe, and that she wouldn’t interfere with it.” I sighed. “Victor, I think she has really changed. She wants to do well by Owen.”

“You want to let her see him?” He frowned at me.

And there it was, the reason why I had been so nervous the entire time. I was indeed inclined to facilitate things, and I knew Victor wouldn’t be. I was afraid we would fight.

“You believe in her?” He raised his voice, seeing I was hesitant to answer.

“I believe people can make terrible mistakes, but they can also change. I’ve seen it countless times with my mother’s patients.” I kept my tone calm, hoping Victor would adjust his. “Besides, it’s his grandmother.”

“Correction: it’s his abusive grandmother, who his mother tried to keep away from him. In fact, we have a letter stating exactly that, that she doesn’t want her mother near her son. So no, she doesn’t get to visit him.”

I suddenly remembered the reason why I came to Loveland, to make a life for myself, to let go of my past, and still it followed me wherever I went. And even though the circumstances were different, even though Pamela was the abuser and not the abused, I couldn’t help but feel angry at the thought that she was trying to do the same thing I did, make a better life for herself, only to have her past following her as well. And that, I could not tolerate.

“So what? She gets endless punishment for her sins? She doesn’t have the right to turn her life around, correct her mistakes?”

“Not this again, Andrea.” He shook his head. “This is just like my father, you wanted us to allow him to get closer, look where it brought us.”

“So now I’m supposed to take the blame for your father’s actions?” I raised my voice. “All I wanted was for you to have a good relationship with him! All I did was for your happiness!”

“I almost punched my father on our wedding day! How much happiness do you think that brought me?”

“Well, I’m sorry, Victor, I really am!” I threw my hands in the air. “I’m sorry I convinced you to give your father a second chance, and I’m sorry he didn’t take it! I am really sorry that he was such a prick, but that is not an excuse to act like one!”

My voice echoed through the apartment, only to be met with silence. Victor stared at me, eyes wide, surprised at my outburst, while I paced back and forth, trying to calm myself down.

“We are going about this the wrong way.” He spoke softly after a while. “Come here.”

I kept on pacing.

“Andy, come here. I don't want to fight.” He pulled me by the wrist to stand in front of him. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes, still feeling somewhat frustrated.

“Look at me.” He held my chin softly, coaxing me into looking at him. “I don't blame you for my father’s actions, and I don’t blame you for trying to bring us closer. I know you meant well.”

Victor pulled me closer to him, enveloping me with his strong arms. I couldn’t help but melt in them, my anger suddenly gone.

“See, this is the exact reason why I fell in love with you, and incidentally why you fell in love with me. You have this ability to see the best in people, their potential, even if they can’t see it themselves.” He spoke into my hair, gently, while one of his hands laced its fingers with mine. “But sometimes, there is no best. There is no potential. Some people simply won’t change, even if they try to convince you they will. It’s just wishful thinking.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of his chest. He wasn’t being a prick, he was being protective, like he always was. And I loved him for it.

“So maybe instead of a final no, we can decide for a not yet.” He continued. “I will do some research on the grandmother, see if she really turned her life around like she says she did. But until then, we respect Owen’s mother’s last wishes. What do you say?”

“I say I’m sorry.” My voice trembled slightly. “For calling you a prick. I don’t know why I’m so invested in this, but I am. I got carried away.”

“Because you have a kind heart and you believe in happy endings.” He smiled warmly at me. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

He was right. I did believe in happy endings. More than that, I desperately needed to believe in reinvention, and in becoming a better person, worthy of a better outcome. Because, in fact, that was all I was hoping for me. To let go of my past fully, and embrace my future with my new family. To fully let go of the Andrea I was before, and be the Andrea I fought so hard to be.

#mldd fanfic #mlqc fanfic #love and producer fanfic #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc victor #mldd victor #mister love queens choice #mister love dream date #love and producer #victor X oc #Growing Pains - Series #growingtogether

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ppangjae · 4 years

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CUTS HEAL IN TIME | 01

Summary. Jung Jaehyun is the man every mother would want their daughter to have. He has everything you would ever want in a guy; a beautiful charm, a handsome face, a successful business, and an overflow of money. While Jaehyun has everything he needs, he can’t seem to get what he truly wants. And what he truly wants is a woman he’s been in love with for years. But she’s getting married to someone that’s not him. To make things worse, she’s even asked for his help in planning her wedding.

→ or, alternatively: Jung Jaehyun thinks the love of his life is his long lost childhood friend. But that’s only what he thinks.

Word Count. 9.5k+ words (someone please stop me)

Genre. fluff, angst, light smut (in the last part!) + ceo!jaehyun and long lost childhood friend!au (this addition was last minute, in case you were wondering)

author’s note. i’m happy that the first part is out! since the whole one shot is roughly 20k words, i decided to split it into two parts. this will sort of benefit mobile readers. the second (and final) part will be posted soon, i just need to make final touches and edits before it’s good to go. and before this author’s note gets longer than it should, i highly suggest listening to Cuts Heal in Time by Mac Ayres while reading this!

part 01 | part 02 (coming soon!)

When people meet Jaehyun for the first time, he gets one of four common questions:

How does it feel to be one of the top CEOs in South Korea?

How does it feel to be a billionaire architect in the making?

Are you single? I know someone you might be interested in!

When are you planning on settling down? Are you planning on getting married soon?

Jaehyun is all about first impressions. In fact, because of his luxurious life, people’s first impressions of him are already made up. He’s one of the top CEOs in the country, a billionaire architect in the making, and a good-looking bachelor. But all of this is a product of his hard work. He has been running the family business ever since his father retired. His business is only going up from here. Having everything he needs is an understatement. He has more than what he needs.

But he can’t get what he wants. He wants to fill up the empty spot in his heart. Sure, he’s a good-looking bachelor, but that’s because he can’t bring himself to pursue the woman he’s been in love with for half of his life. What he was is her, and once he has her, his life is considered complete. But that doesn’t happen overnight, and that doesn’t happen as easily as he thinks.

After all, you can’t have everything you want.

BREAKING NEWS: Song Misun of Song Associates is engaged to Kim Junhwa of Kim Garments.

Jaehyun grabs the remote and immediately turns the widescreen TV off. He couldn’t bear listening to the news anchor’s voice rambling on and on about the engagement. But even with the TV shut off, he can still hear the words engagement and Song Misun echoing and chanting in his head like a mantra. But in an instant, the voices in his head are cut off by a soft, gentle voice.

“Mr. Jung, would you like a cup of coffee?”

As he turns around and tosses the remote onto his desk, he spots you, his personal secretary, standing at the door. You wait patiently for his answer while hugging the daily planner to your chest. He purses his lips into a tight line and his eyebrows start to knit together. You internally sigh, making note of how your boss is definitely not in a good mood today.

“Maybe a cup of coffee will help,” he replies after some thought and takes a seat at his desk.

You muster up a smile because it’s all you could do. “I’ll be right back with your coffee then, sir.”

As you walk through the HR department, you stop in front of one of the cubicles. You lean against the frame of the cubicle to see Johnny typing away on his computer. Stuck around the perimeter of his computer screen are a collection of polaroid pictures of him and his younger brother Mark, both of you sipping cups of coffee at cafes, and candid photos you took of him.

A warm smile appears on your face. Clearing your throat to catch his attention, he stops typing to crack his knuckles and turns around to face you.

“Nice to see you on this lovely morning,” he greets you while wiggling his eyebrows. He nods his head at the door to Mr. Jung’s office. “Is he in a good mood today?”

You sigh sadly while shaking your head. “I don’t think so. He might ask me to work overtime, so I might have to cancel our plans tonight. The whole merge with the Park’s is making me busier than usual.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I might have to cancel too. A new intern is coming this afternoon and I have to train him. God knows how long that will take.” He groans and rubs at his temples as if it’ll make his stress disappear. “By the way, any updates on that childhood friend you’re looking for?”

Childhood friend. A warm smile unknowingly spreads across your lips. Johnny stares at you as your face lights up at the mention of a special person whom you know nothing about. It is what it is. A childhood friend. This childhood friend remains a part of your childhood memories, but with a sudden move to the city, the little boy in your childhood pictures remain nothing but a childhood memory. However, after a heart-wrenching breakup that left you hopeless, you decided to find him, your childhood friend.

“No updates so far. I’m not quite sure where to start. All I have of him are childhood pictures.” You reply as a frown begins to settle on your face. Johnny pouts cutely and your frown is replaced with a small smile. “But I’ll find him somehow.”

He smiles, “I’m sure you’ll find him somehow. He might be closer than you think.”

“I hope so.” You mumble. “Anyways, do you want me to make you a cup of coffee? I’m heading to the lounge to make Mr. Jung one too.”

“Yes, please, I need it.” He slaps at his cheeks to wake himself up. You chuckle at the cute gesture, reaching out to ruffle his hair before heading towards the lounge room.

As you head to the lounge room, you can’t help but notice the new set of plaques hung up on the wall. Hung up on the wall were awards won by your boss, Mr. Jung. You can’t help but think about how your mother would be more than thrilled if she found out that the man you’re dating so happens to be Mr. Jung Jaehyun. In fact, Jung Jaehyun is the man every mother would want for their daughter.

It would be a lie of you to say that you don’t admire or have some sort of liking towards your boss. Mr. Jung has an indescribable charm, and intimidating yet mysterious aura that instantly draws anyone in. There’s no denying that you find him very appealing to the eye, and you often think that the heavens took a lot of time to create his handsome face.

But you can only dream on. Jung Jaehyun, your boss, the man who’s helping you pay off your student debt, the man helping you pay your rent, is way out of your league.

The lounge room is filled with a couple of employees and interns. As you enter the lounge room, everyone looks at you for a brief moment before bringing their attention back to their own conversations. You quickly brew two fresh cups of coffee, putting in some sugar and creamer in each cup. Stirring the hot drinks with a teaspoon, you hear a couple of gasps and chatter in the room. There are two employees seated on the couch in front of the TV, whispering to each other. You look at them with curiosity, following their gaze towards the TV screen. You read the large headline displayed on the news channel.

A soft gasp escapes your lips and the teaspoon in your hand clatters to the floor.

Soon enough, news about Song Misun’s engagement spread throughout the whole company building like a wildfire. Song Misun is the lucky woman who could potentially fill up the void in Jung Jaehyun’s heart. Her and Jung Jaehyun go way back, for they were childhood friends. Jung Jaehyun is known to be hopelessly in love with her, heck, he’s been in love with her for the longest time. The only problem is that he never got around to pursuing her due to his hectic business. It was also rumoured that Song Misun had returned some sort of feelings for him, but never acted on it either. And so when Song Misun’s engagement news appeared on TV, people showed nothing but mixed emotions after realizing that the man she’s engaged to isn’t Jung Jaehyun.

“Do you mind going over today’s plans?”

You open your daily planner and flip to today’s date, eyes squinting at the written schedule. Mr. Jung is busy catching up and replying to emails from business partners. You look up at him and he stops typing to glance at you.

“You have an appointment with a client at one, followed by a shareholders meeting with Kim Doyoung of Kim Architects and Co. at two-thirty.” You explain. “As for your business trip to Greece, I already booked your plane ticket. I’ll forward the confirmation email and itinerary to you when I get back to my office.”

“Did you manage to get yourself a plane ticket as well?” He asks and you nod your head.

“I called the dry cleaners this morning and your suit won’t be ready for pickup until Thursday.” You add.

“Great.” He nods, leaning back against his chair and letting out a tiring sigh. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Y/N.”

You smile. “I think you’ll do just fine without me, sir. You already built up a successful business for yourself. My help is nothing compared to the success of the company.”

“We’re glad to have you.” He reassures you. “Anyways, I’ll let you get back to work. With the business merger, it’s only going to get busier from here.”

“Alright, sir.” You gather your things. “Just page me if you need anything.”

As you’re heading towards the door, you hear Mr. Jung call out your name. You slowly turn back around, looking at him questioningly. He looks quite hesitant.

“Yes, sir?”

“Has anyone seen the news lately? Have you seen the news lately?”

“What do you mean, sir?” You ask, acting oblivious and innocent. He scratches the back of his neck.

“Song Misun just got engaged—” His sentence is cut short by a knock at the door. You look over your shoulder to see one of the lobby receptionists, Luna, standing at the door. “Luna-ssi, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Song Misun is here to see you.” She announces while nervously fiddling with her fingers. You glance at Mr. Jung and you could see his face turn pale. You and Luna share a knowing look.

“You can let her in.” Jaehyun insists and gulps nervously.

As you both step out of his office, you notice a woman sitting right outside of his office. She has a pair of black shades covering almost half of her face. She’s wearing bold, red lipstick and a black fitted dress. You knew that she’d look blindingly beautiful once she took her sunglasses off.

“Mr. Jung is ready to see you, Ms. Song.” Luna tells the woman and your eyes slightly widen. She takes off her shades and you almost choke on air.

You were right. She looks stunningly beautiful. Her beauty is foreign and incomparable. She has a nice set of eyes that formed into crescents. She had strong structures and her lips are plump and soft. This is the first time you’ve seen Song Misun in person and the elegance and beauty she has makes you feel insecure. This is the woman that Mr. Jung is in love with?

As she’s thanking Luna and heading inside Mr. Jung’s office, Luna calls out for her one last time. She looks over her shoulder and quirks an eyebrow.

“C-Congratulations on your engagement, Ms. Song.”

Two years ago…

“How long have you been seeing her?”

He looks at you from across the table. You fold your arms and try to resist chucking your hot, steaming cup of coffee at his face. Your bloodshot red eyes are enough to show how much wrath and anger you have within you. The woman that the love of your life has been seeing remains unknown, and although you want to find out who she is, you’re not sure if you have the strength to do it. He doesn’t even want to reveal who she is and it makes you sick.

He cheated on you.

“For a while now,” he replies.

“Are you in love with her?” You whisper. He winces and looks away from you. At that moment, you knew that he was a goner. You lost him, the man that once fell in love with you and the man that you’re in love with. You scoff. “Kim Junhwa, I’m asking you a simple question. Are you in love with her?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he gathers his things in silence. You watch him, your eyes tearing up. You bite your lip to stop yourself from crying. You’re tired of crying. You’ve been crying for three days straight. And it’s all because of him and the woman who replaced you.

“Are you in love with her?” You ask again, your voice cracking, hoping that he might answer this time. “Just tell me, Junhwa, to spare me the pain. It’s the least you could do.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You watched him get up and leave. You promised yourself not to let him see you cry, and you never break your promise. Once he’s out of sight, you start to break down, soft sobs escaping your quivering lips. Slowly looking out the window, you see him start his car and drive off.

You made another promise to yourself that day. You promised yourself that you weren’t going to let another man hurt you like this.

“I want you to help me plan my wedding.”

It takes a while for her words to sink in. But as he’s letting himself comprehend the words she had just said, he’s taking a quick sip of coffee. When her words finally occur to him, he immediately chokes on his coffee. She looks at him alarmingly, eyes widening like saucers. He waves it off, trying to catch his breath.

“You want me to help—help you— plan—plan your wedding?” He repeats, coughing in between words.

When he finally catches his breath, she replies with a slight nod of her head. He places his palms against his desk and lets out an airy chuckle. She wants him to help plan her wedding? Oh how he wishes it was their wedding. He slowly looks up at her only to find her already looking back at him, awaiting his answer.

“You do know that you’re only asking for trouble, right?” He smiles with his dimples flashing.

She folds her arms, walking around his office. The sound of her heels clicking against the floor echo throughout his office. She finally stands about one metre away, looking out the window. The large window in Jaehyun’s office overlooks the whole city of Seoul. She glances at him.

“You’re my best friend,” she shrugs her shoulders. “It would be great to have my best friend help me plan my wedding. Besides, I need a second opinion with everything. I want my wedding to be perfect, don’t you want that too?”

He turns around and joins her in watching the hustle and bustle of the city. He finds himself sneaking a look at Misun, and when he does, he grows devastated. It’s official. She’s the one that got away. She’s the best thing he’s never had. She’s the love of his life… and she’s getting married to someone else.

He tears his gaze away from her.

“I’ll help you plan your wedding. I only want the best for you.”

“You guys looked really close.”

Johnny takes the photo from your fingertips to take a closer look. You briefly look at him before taking a quick sip of your coffee. Setting your drink down, you look at the photo with Johnny. It’s a childhood photo of you and a little boy your age. There are only remnants of this little boy planted in your mind. You remember him living a couple of blocks away from your house. You remember him being your classmate in senior-kindergarten class up until the third grade. You remember forming some sort of bond with the boy. That bond was cut short when your family decided to move to the city.

And so all you have left that reminds you of the little boy are your childhood photos with him.

“We were very close,” a faint smile spreads across your lips. “If only I got his email address or a phone number before I moved, I would’ve kept in touch.”

“Do you remember his name at least?”

You tear your gaze away from Johnny to look at the photo. The faint smile that spread across your lips grows wider. The childhood photo shows you sitting on a swing at the park with the little boy standing behind you, pushing you on the swing. Surrounded around the swingset is an abundance of purple bellflowers. Your eyes squint to see a bracelet on the little boy’s wrist. It’s a silver chain bracelet with a Y charm on it.

“His name is Jung Yoonoh.”

An adorable girl sitting on a swing with a chubby-cheeked boy pushing her from behind. Jaehyun stares at the childhood photo and smiles. It’s a picture of him and Misun when they were four. His eyes trail down towards the necklace worn on her neck. It’s a necklace with the letter M on it. There are a lot of questions that fill Jaehyun’s mind. Did Misun fall in love with someone else because he was too late? Did Misun give up waiting for him? What did Kim Junhwa have that he didn’t? Is it still too late? Why did she—

“Sir?”

He snaps out of his thoughts. You’re standing at the door with his grey tuxedo carefully thrown over your arm. As he stands up, he places the picture of him and Misun into one of the drawers. He heads towards you and gently grabs the suit from you.

“Thanks for picking it up,” he smiles as he hangs up the suit on one of his racks. He dusts off his hands and turns around to face you. “I’m glad you came in early because I have an important and private matter to talk to you about.”

You nod your head, turning around to shut the door behind you. You make yourself comfortable on one of the chairs in front of Mr. Jung’s desk. He clasps his hands together.

“I’m sure you saw Misun come to the office yesterday,” you nod for him to continue. “She had asked me to help plan her wedding.”

“Oh,” you mumble, eyes wide. “But sir, we’re already busy with the merge—”

“Yes, we are, which brings me to my next point.” He says and your hands grip tightly onto your daily planner. “I need you to be with me at all times. There may be last minute meetings, important phone calls, anything, and it’ll be difficult for you to get a hold of me if you aren’t with me. Is that fine with you?”

You nod your head. “It’s fine with me, sir. Do you mind giving me the breakdown of the plans you’ve made with Ms. Song to put in my daily planner?”

He gestures for you to open your planner. As you place the planner onto his desk, he looks at you for permission to go through it. You gently push it towards him and he grabs a pen from one of the pen holders and starts scribbling things in the planner. You sit there awkwardly, looking around his office in silence. Sounds of his pen moving against the paper fill throughout the office.

“I’ve written everything down,” he mumbles, closing the planner and handing it back to you. “But I’ll give you a breakdown right now just to keep everything in check.”

“Alright, sir.”

“For the next week, we’ll be making trips to the flower shop to pick flowers for bouquets and decorations. The location of the flower shop is near the building, so I see no problems with cancelling meetings that week.” He explains. “After that, we’ll be spending a week and a half cake tasting.”

“Is the bakery far from the company building?”

“We have to take the highway to get to the bakery,” he replies. “I suggest looking at the meetings booked during that week and if time doesn’t permit or coincide, then I give you my permission to cancel them and rebook them for a different day.”

“Got it.” You nod your head, noting it down in your planner.

“After cake tasting, we will spend two weeks picking a wedding dress.” He explains. “The dress fitting and selection will be happening at Misun’s house which isn’t far from the company building, so anything planned that week should be good to go.”

“Alright, sir.”

“And last but not the least, we will spend three to four weeks searching and picking a venue for the wedding and reception.” He finishes it off. “The venue locations may vary in terms of distance, so I will locate the venues in advance and let you know how far they are. At your own discretion, I expect you to rebook meetings on a day where the venue is a bit far from the company building.”

“Understood, sir.” You flash him a smile.

“Luckily enough, the business trip to Greece happens right after the venue searching.” He adds. “Do you have any questions or concerns?

You look through the notes you’ve written in your planner and your focus seems to settle on Mr. Jung’s writing. It’s quite neat, you note, before looking back at him. You shake your head in reply.

“None so far, sir.” He clasps his hands together.

“Great. Go grab your things and get ready. We have a flower shop to go to.”

Song Misun does not have a knack for flowers. You let out a sigh for the nth time as you follow your boss around, who follows Misun. The three of you have been staring and sniffing flowers for God knows how long. Luckily enough, there weren’t any meetings or phone calls booked for the day. Unfortunately, this day was supposed to be a day where Mr. Jung can catch up on his sketches and blueprints. Mr. Jung seems to notice that flower picking is taking longer than it should because he gives you a brief glance.

“Misun-ssi, is there a specific type of flower that you like so far?” The florist asks, and you can’t help but hide a smile that’s creeping across your lips. The florist looks at her wrist watch for the third time, growing impatient and tired.

“I’m quite enamoured by those purple flowers… What were they called again?” She asks, dumbfounded. You couldn’t believe it. Misun had dragged you and your boss to the flower shop to pick flowers for her wedding, and after making several rounds in the shop, she still hasn’t made up her mind.

“We have about ten different types of purple flowers, Misun-ssi…” The florist trails off. “Which one did you like?”

Misun’s eyes wander throughout the flower shop, scanning for the particular purple flower that she had taken an interest in. Mr. Jung glances at you with a knowing look and you slightly shrug your shoulders. You follow Misun’s gaze that falls upon one of the flowers. You could tell it was probably her favourite because her stare lingered on it longer than the rest.

“I really love how those flowers look—”

“Bellflowers?” You and Mr. Jung blurt out in unison, before looking at each other with slight surprise.

“Right!” Misun exclaims. “Yes, it was the bellflower!”

The florist holds in a sigh of relief. “Did you want to settle with the bellflowers or do you want to keep looking?”

“I’ll take the bellflowers,” Misun replies, glancing at Mr. Jung. “What do you think, Jae?”

Jae. You try to stop yourself from smiling at the cute nickname. As you look at your boss, you can’t help but notice how red his ears had gotten. He scratches the back of his neck.

“You know I have a special connection with bellflowers.” He smiles.

Jaehyun has always had a special connection with bellflowers. Whenever he saw bellflowers, it’s almost as if it takes him back to his childhood days to when he met Misun. They would always race through the neighbourhood to their favourite spot; the swings at the park. Whoever reached the swingset last is forced to push the winner on the swing. He cherishes those memories the most. But those bellflowers… those bellflowers remind him of her. They remind him of the moment where he realized that Misun is someone very special to him.

You know that look on Mr. Jung’s face. They mean one thing and one thing only; love. He really is in love with her. The look on his face makes your heart ache for him. It sort of reminds you of yourself. It reminds you of the time when your ex-lover was in love with someone else. You know that look so well. While you were busy being in love with your ex-lover, he was busy falling out of love with you. You were in love with someone who was falling in love with someone else.

You wish your boss will fall in love with someone who will love him back, because that’s all you could ever do for him; wish.

“How romantic,” the florist muses. “Both of you suit each other very well. I can tell that your husband is very much in love with you.”

It catches him off guard. He snaps out of his thoughts and starts vigorously shaking his head. The florist looks at the two in confusion. You, on the other hand, stand there awkwardly, pondering on whether you should pretend that you didn’t hear what the florist had just said or make an immediate effort to correct her.

“I think you got it wrong, miss.” Misun chuckles sheepishly while waving it off. “He’s not my fiance.”

The florist looks at her in pure horror. Jaehyun bites back a smile but he can’t seem to stop noticing how his heart is breaking at the same time.

“I’m so sorry!” The florist blurts out. “I had no idea.”

Misun waves it off. “It’s fine. We often get mistaken as a couple, don’t we, Jae?”

All of the attention is directed towards Jaehyun. He looks at the florist, then towards you, and finally towards Misun. Misun bats her eyelashes innocently and he clears his throat.

“Y-Yes, we do. We do often get mistaken as a couple.”

You wince and your heart aches for the young man.

Two and a half years ago…

You look at the two necklaces in confusion. Both of the necklaces looked identical. Wrapped around your neck is your necklace with the first letter of your mother’s name, an M. On your right hand, is a similar necklace with the letter M. Nothing but suspicion crosses your mind.

You look over your shoulder to see your boyfriend, Junhwa, fast asleep on the bed. He had come home reeking of alcohol and an unidentified perfume. It definitely wasn’t your perfume. Comparing both necklaces one last time, you gently place the similar necklace back into the pocket of your boyfriend’s jacket before he wakes up.

Cake tasting. In your opinion, the best part about planning a wedding is choosing a wedding cake. You say this with your whole chest. There’s nothing more exciting than having a table set up with several slices of different cakes waiting for you to taste. As you, your boss, and Song Misun enter the bakery, you are greeted by the baker slash owner of the shop.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kim!” The owner exclaims and you try to stop yourself from facepalming for the second time. The two close friends look at each other sheepishly before quickly correcting the owner. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought your fiance was coming along as per our conversation this morning—”

“My fiance got caught up with work so he wasn’t able to come.” Misun explains. It is only then that it occurred to you; where was her fiance and why isn’t he making an effort to plan their wedding? But it wasn’t any of your business.

“That’s unfortunate.”

“It’s fine.” Misun says, grimacing. She musters up a smile. “Shall we get to the cake tasting?”

There is an array of cakes set up on the table. Jaehyun pulls out a chair for Misun before pulling out a chair for you. The owner looks at Jaehyun with pity, almost as if she knew what he was going through. You and the owner share a brief look before taking a seat across the other two.

“As per our phone call conversation, I prepared three types of red velvet cakes. They all taste the same, but I want your input on how you want them decorated.” The owner explains, pointing at each of the cakes.

While the three of them are conversing, you decide to flip through your daily planner. There are a couple of meetings scheduled later on in the day. You had rescheduled the meetings in advance since you were aware of the long drive to the bakery shop. As you’re looking at the meetings scheduled in the next few days, you could hear your name being called out by Misun.

You look up at her. “Yes, Ms. Song?”

“What’s your favourite cake?” She asks, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

Everyone looks at you and you suddenly feel overwhelmed. You close your daily planner and look at the cakes sitting right in front of you. Your eyes scan them before stopping at your favourite.

“I really like the black forest cake.” You reply, eyeing the black forest cake on the other end of the table. “It’s very rich and has a distinct flavour. I personally think the chocolate goes perfectly with the cherries. It also looks very elegant.”

“You have a great taste in cakes, young lady.” The owner smiles.

“Well, actually, it reminds me of a friend I had before I moved to the city.” You say, reminiscing about your childhood years. “He really liked strawberry shortcakes. I remember having a black forest cake for my birthday and it was his first time trying it… and to my surprise, he hated it.”

“That’s cute.” Misun mumbles, glancing at Jaehyun. “What’s your favourite cake, Jae?”

Jaehyun’s in the middle of eating a bite of the red velvet cake when the attention is shifted towards him. He smiles sheepishly while quickly eating the cake.

“Coincidentally, my favourite cake is the strawberry shortcake.”

Song Misun’s house is somewhat similar to your dream house. Mr. Jung’s car stolls up at her driveway and you can’t help but look at her house in awe. Her mansion is securely blocked with a huge fence guarded by two muscular security guards. The guards seem to know who your boss is for they open the gate for you right when you hop out of the car. Standing at the door is Misun, clothed in a silk robe.

“Hurry on in, this will take the whole afternoon!”

She’s so rich that it’s ridiculous, you think to yourself. In each room, there’s at least two chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Leather couches, wooden furniture, walk-in closets, a walk-in pantry, expensive fridges and toasters, everything in her house screamed rich.

Mr. Jung sits beside you on one of the couches and places a freshly made cup of coffee onto the coffee table. The tailors and the designer arrived before you and are already prepping the first wedding dress.

“Is Junhwa here?” Mr. Jung asks and Misun frowns.

“He’s busy with work. Also, isn’t there a superstition where you will have bad luck if the groom sees the bride in the wedding dress before the actual wedding?” Misun replies.

Your boss doesn’t seem to believe it and looks at you to confirm. You look back at him and shrug your shoulders. He purses his lips into a tight line and reaches out to grab his cup of coffee. A silver glint catches your eye. You look at your boss’ wrist, seeing a silver chain bracelet. Your eyebrows knit in confusion and your eyes squint to take a closer look. It looks oddly familiar—

“Here’s the first dress!”

You look up to see Misun standing at the doorway with a wedding dress on. It’s a fitted wedding dress, showing off her curves. From the corner of your eye, you can see your boss’ lips slightly part in shock. You smile. Your boss’ feelings for the engaged woman are incredibly obvious, but you have no idea why the both of them can’t see it.

“What do you think?” Misun asks.

“You look great in that dress, Misun.” He replies. “But I think you should try on the other dresses before you make a final decision.”

“How about you, Y/N? What do you think?” She questions you and your eyebrows raise.

“You look beautiful, Ms. Song.” You smile. “But I also agree with Mr. Jung. You should maybe try on the other dresses before making a final decision.”

“You’re right.” Misun nods her head before excusing herself to try on the next dress.

As she leaves the living room to try on the other dress, you could hear Mr. Jung let out a breath that he’s been holding in for God knows how long. You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“Am I too obvious?”

You raise an eyebrow, looking at him. He’s already looking back at you. “What do you mean, sir?”

“I know you can see it, Y/N.” He says softly. You scratch the back of your neck, nodding your head to confirm his assumption. He sighs. “Am I too obvious?”

“Sort of, sir.” You mumble. “It’s pretty obvious that you’re in love with her.”

“Really?”

You giggle. “Really.”

“What should I do to make it not obvious?” He asks.

“You should probably stop making heart eyes whenever you see her, sir.” You suggest and he nods his head, taking your advice into consideration. “You should also stop caring for her a bit too much, sir.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely right—”

“Dress number two!” Misun cuts your conversation short and both of you snap your heads towards her.

She has a long dress on. It’s a strapless dress with a corset hugging her upper body before flowing out into a beautiful puffy skirt. You’re completely speechless. Anything that Misun puts on looks great on her, and you could definitely see why she asked Mr. Jung to help her decide. If she couldn’t make the decision, she wanted someone else to make up their mind for her.

“What do you think?”

“I think you are the one—no—I think you—I think this is the one.” Your boss replies almost instantly and you slightly fake a cough. He glances at you and you look up at him with wide eyes. He’s making it too obvious. “I mean, I look good with you—no—it looks good on you—”

“The dress looks beautiful and perfect on you, Ms. Song.” You add, just to lighten the situation.

“Really?” Misun says with a wide smile spreading across her lips.

Both of you nod your heads. “Really.”

“Alright. I’ll take this dress, then. I’ll go and get this dress tailored! But please stay and wait for me, I want to treat you guys out for dinner!” Misun exclaims before scurrying off into one of the rooms.

Once she’s out of sight, you sigh with relief. Mr. Jung looks at you with a nervous smile.

“I owe you one.”

Prepared in front of you is a barbeque grill filled with assorted meat and vegetables. You glance at your boss, who gestures for you to start digging in. You look at Misun for approval and she flashes you a smile. The three of you dig into your food, grabbing whatever is cooked and placing it onto your plates.

“I just wanted to thank you both for helping me plan my wedding.” Misun says. “Wedding planning is really difficult and with our busy lives, I appreciate the time you’ve taken off just for this.”

“It’s no problem, Misun.” Mr. Jung smiles.

“My fiance will be joining us for dinner, I hope you don’t mind.” Misun announces. “He’ll be arriving in a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t mind.” Mr. Jung shrugs his shoulders.

You glance at Misun who’s waiting for your reply. “I don’t mind either, Ms. Song.”

“Great! Let’s eat!” She exclaims.

The three of you are busy eating to even bother opening up a conversation. It’s been a tiring and busy day. There were a couple of business meetings in the morning before you and your boss were scurrying to get to Misun’s house. Luckily enough, the dress picking and fitting didn’t take too long. However, you’re not sure if choosing a venue will be easier than you think.

“Sorry I’m late.”

A familiar voice makes you freeze in your seat. You slowly trail your eyes up and meet a familiar pair. You could feel your heart drop. He looks back at you with nothing but utter shock. It was clear that both of you did not expect to see each other, especially in this setting.

“Junhwa, baby, you’re finally here! Come take a seat, I already placed food on your plate. You’re probably really hungry.”

Kim Junhwa. The man you were hopelessly in love with. The man who made you feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world. The man who made your heart skip a beat too many. The man who loved you. The man who fell out of love with you. The man who cheated on you.

Your eyes tear up and you blink them away immediately. You clear your throat, tearing your gaze away from him and looking down at your plate with food. You grip tightly onto your cutlery utensils as if it would help you try to not make things obvious.

“I didn’t know that you brought two friends along with you.” He chuckles uneasily. You can feel him burning two holes through your forehead. “I’m assuming that you’re Jung Jaehyun, right?”

Your boss smiles and shakes his head. Both of them are looking at each other with such intensity. Jaehyun, on the other hand, notices how tense you’ve gotten ever since Misun’s fiance had arrived. He looks at you to check up on you and you look up at him, mustering up a smile.

“And you are?” You shift your gaze towards your ex-lover, who’s looking at you questioningly.

You try to bite back a scoff. Did he really want to pretend and act like he has never met you before? Unbelievable. Your eyes stare at his extended hand, and you look back up at him.

“Y/N.” You reply weakly, shaking his hand. “You look oddly familiar.”

“Do I?” He asks. He looks like he’s panicking on the inside.

“You do. But it was probably just a fleeting moment.” You shrug your shoulders. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

“T-Thanks.” He stutters and the four of you decide to dig into your food.

Jaehyun looks at the couple with jealousy. Both of them suit each other very well. He could feel himself getting sick and nauseous because they look perfect together. He can finally see where he’s lacking, what he’s missing, and what made Misun choose Junhwa over him. He was starting to feel insecure. But at the same time, he was starting to blame himself. If he weren’t too late, if he just confessed… maybe things would have turned out different.

“Are the both of you dating?” Junhwa asks.

“No. He’s my boss.” You answer.

“Ah, I see.” He nods his head. He looks at Misun. “Baby, your hair is too long, it’s getting on your food. Let me tie your hair back.”

As Junhwa is pulling her hair back to put it up into a pony-tail, another silver glint catches your eye. You look at Misun, and you notice a necklace wrapped around her neck. It’s familiar as well. It’s a silver necklace with the letter M, just like yours. You feel yourself getting sick. It was all starting to make sense. Your eyes flood with tears and you look away from the necklace, afraid that if you stare at it longer, you’ll burst out into sobs. You blink away your tears.

“Sorry, excuse me.” You say softly, slowly getting up from your seat.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Misun asks concerningly.

You wave it off. “I just feel a little bit sick.”

“Let me drive you home, Y/N.” Mr. Jung insists and you shake your head. He looks like he doesn’t even want to be there either.

“I’m okay, sir—”

“No, let me. Besides, I have a meeting tomorrow morning and it’s getting quite late.” Mr. Jung gives you a knowing look.

“O-Okay.” You mumble. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Song, Mr. Kim.”

As you start leaving, Misun grabs your hand. You look at her and she smiles.

“Thank you for all your help, Y/N.”

“No problem.” You muster up a smile, before looking at her necklace again. “Where did you get your necklace? It looks really beautiful.”

She looks at her fiance, before replying, “Junhwa gave it to me. It really looks beautiful, doesn’t it?”

A tear threatens to escape your eye. “It does.”

Two and a half years ago…

“You’re back.”

Junhwa stops in his tracks, looking at you from the door. You’re holding a glass of wine in your hand and you bring it to your lips to take a quick sip. He kicks off his shoes and heads into the living room, where you are. He walks into the kitchen and starts pouring himself a glass of water.

“Where have you been?” You ask.

“I was out with my friends.” He replies.

“Out with your friends?” He nods his head. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Thursday?” He says, confusedly.

You scoff. “Just an ordinary day, huh?”

He shrugs his shoulders. He downs the cup of water before placing it into the sink. You watch him as he heads into the room, calling it a night. Once he shuts the door behind him, you sigh, placing your glass of wine onto the coffee table. A tear escapes your eye.

It was at this moment where you confirmed that you were starting to lose him. To him, it was just an ordinary day. But to you, it was your second anniversary together. You look at the pan filled with pasta that you made for the two of you, and you feel nothing but shame because you made a meal for nothing.

You were losing him.

You were losing a part of you.

It’s the first day of venue picking and you have never felt so exhausted. The first venue is surprisingly at a university campus. Supposedly, the wedding would happen at a beautiful reserve forest on campus grounds. It has tall pine trees forming a circle, leaving a beautiful space for a wedding in the middle of nature.

“There are a few things to consider here,” one of the owners of the university begins. “If you’re not into insects flying around you or having birds chirping during the ceremony, then you might want to have an indoor wedding.”

“I’m really liking the whole mother nature vibe.” Misun replies, but she purses her lips into a straight line. “But I’m not sure if Junhwa will like that.”

He doesn’t like insects, you think to yourself. Somehow, Junhwa doesn’t show up for the venue picking just like how he doesn’t show up for the cake tasting, and even the dress fitting. You were starting to wonder how busy he could be that it’s been holding him back from showing up and making an effort to plan a wedding… his wedding. It was quite questionable.

“Are you okay with insects, sir?” The owner asks and Mr. Jung looks at him.

“Sorry, sir, but I’m not the fiance. I’m just a close friend helping her out.” He replies.

How many times does Mr. Jung have to be mistaken as the fiance? Maybe Junhwa should be showing up so that things like this wouldn’t keep happening. You internally sigh, shifting your attention down to your daily planner.

“Yeah, I don’t think this is it. Thank you for showing us around, but I think I’ll keep looking.” Misun suggests. She turns around to look at the both of you. “Shall we get to the next venue?”

The next venue is at an art gallery. Now this would be something Junhwa would like, you think to yourself. One of the tour guides of the art gallery is touring the three of you around the art gallery. All of you reach the wedding venue, which is in one of the rooms surrounded by a couple of statues and paintings. You smile.

“I really like what we have going on here,” Misun says as she looks at one of the statues.

“What about the fiance?” The tour guide asks as she looks at Mr. Jung.

Not again, you think to yourself. You wince. Mr. Jung looks at the tour guide and you can see him internally sigh with frustration. He shakes his head.

“Sorry, I’m not the fiance. I’m just a close friend helping her out.”

Misun looks at Jaehyun with an apologetic look. Mr. Jung shrugs his shoulders and sighs, pulling out his phone to distract himself. Misun frowns, glancing at you and you look down at your daily planner.

“Sorry, do you mind giving us a minute?” Misun asks the tour guide.

“Sure.” The tour guide answers and leaves the room.

“Y/N? Sorry, I just want to speak to Jaehyun in private.” Misun mumbles and you nod your head, leaving the room.

Jaehyun watches you as you leave the two of them alone. Once you’re out of sight, he looks back at Misun. Misun places her face into her hands. “I’m sorry, Jae. They keep mistaking you for—”

“It’s fine, Misun.” Jaehyun cuts her off. “But it’s getting a bit tiring, don’t you think? I keep getting mistaken as your fiance and I keep correcting them.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry.” She apologizes.

“You know, I’m starting to get concerned about your fiance. Why isn’t he showing up? If he just showed up to plan the wedding with you then maybe I wouldn’t be mistaken as your fiance all the time.” He snaps and Misun knits her eyebrows in frustration.

“You know that we have busy lives, Jae—”

“I know. But I made time for you. Can’t he do the same? He’s your fiance. This is your wedding.” He interrupts her. The frown on her face seems permanent.

“Well I’m sorry for taking up your time. I didn’t know that I was being such a burden to you—”

“And I’m sorry for being a concerned friend. I’m sorry for being painfully in love with you—”

“You’re in love with me?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Misun. What matters is that your fiance should be showing up and making an effort to plan your wedding. I can’t let this happen all the time, and neither do you.”

“It matters, Jae.” Misun shakes her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” He scoffs. “Tell you that I’m in love with you? Misun, you’ve been blind all this time. You barely noticed me. It seemed like you even disregarded my feelings for you—”

“I would never.” She argues back. “I never disregard your feelings—”

“I’ve always been there for you, Misun. Have you ever been there for me?” He sighs. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re getting married. What can I do?”

“Jae—”

“I know I agreed to help you plan your wedding but I think I’ll have to step down, Misun. I don’t think it’s good for me. I don’t think it’s good for you either.” Jaehyun suggests. “I’m sorry.”

Before Misun could call out to him, he’s already out of the room. You jump in your stance when Mr. Jung slams the door shut. You look at him with wide eyes, but they soften and grow concerned when you see him wipe a tear from his cheek. You look back into the room to see Misun frustratingly running a hand through her hair.

“Sir, is everything okay?”

“Let’s go. I don’t have time for this.”

The car ride is silent. There’s nothing else booked for the day. The only exchange you both had since you left the art gallery was your boss insisting on driving you home. Other than that, the only thing making the car ride less dreadful is the faint music playing from the radio.

You use up all your power and bravery to strike up a conversation.

“Sir, is everything alright?”

The car reaches a stoplight. As pedestrians are crossing the road, he lets out a sigh. He hits the steering wheel in frustration. “No. But does it matter to you anyway?”

“Sir, I know that you’re just my boss but I care about you. You’re human. You have feelings too—”

“But you don’t know how I feel.” He cuts you off. “It would be a waste of your time to try and understand me, Y/N.”

“We both know that you’re very much in love with her.” You explain. “What makes it any different for you to just let out what you’ve been holding in for so long?”

“The difference is that you don’t know how I feel because you’ve never experienced it.” He mutters, stepping on the gas pedal once the stoplight turns to green. “Don’t even bother. You’re only wasting your time. You know nothing about me—”

“And you know nothing about me either, sir.” You cut him off. “With all due respect, but please stop acting like you know about my love life. You don’t know what I’ve experienced—”

“Do you know how it feels to be in love? Do you know how it feels to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back? Do you—”

“I know that feeling all too well, sir. But let me ask you this,” you force yourself to look out the window because if you look at him, you might burst out into anger. You’re only trying to help. “Do you know how it feels to be cheated on? Do you know how it feels to find out that the man you love, is getting married to the woman he cheated on you with?”

Jaehyun tears his gaze from the road. He looks at you as you stare out the window. There’s deep sadness spread across your face and suddenly he regrets lashing out on you. He doesn’t know you, and while he was complaining and placing his burdens on you by dragging you along on this wedding venture, he had no idea about what you were going through. Or what you had gone through.

“Y/N, I—”

“You don’t.” You chuckle bitterly, looking at him. “The man that cheated on me is the fiance of your close friend. What a coincidence, right?”

He looks at you with confusion. His eyes soften. “Y/N, I had no idea—”

“The other woman that my ex-boyfriend was seeing is the woman you’re in love with. Look, I know you’re going through a lot of pain, sir, but I’m going through so much more. So please, stop pretending like you’re the only victim here, because you’re not.” You say sadly.

The rest of the ride is awkward and quiet until you finally reach home. As you get out of his car, you grab your things with you. To make things lighter, you look at your boss and flash a small smile.

“Thanks for the ride, sir. Take care.”

“I can’t believe he said that to you.”

Johnny clinks his glass of wine with yours and the both of you take a quick sip. You sigh, placing the glass down. Your late night wine-drinking with Johnny has been long overdue. It’s nights like these where you find yourself talking about life with Johnny over a bottle of wine. With everything that’s going on, you knew that you had to settle down and catch a breath.

“How’s the new intern?” You ask.

“Horrible.” He groans. “He keeps forgetting everything I tell him. Who even hired him, anyway?”

“Sounds like a nightmare to me.” You sigh.

“How’s the childhood friend search going?” You look at him before letting out a soft ‘oh!’. As you head into your room, you open a drawer at your desk and pull out a photo album. When you come back into the living room, Johnny eyes the photo album.

“I found this album when I visited my mother a couple of days ago,” you mumble, handing him the photo album. “It has a lot of pictures of the little boy and I. However, when I asked my mother if she remembered who he was and where he could possibly be, all she knew was that his name is Jung Yoonoh.”

He flips through the photo album and he looks at each photo. As you’re taking a seat on the couch, you watch him as he intently observes each photo.

“He looks really familiar.”

“Does he really?” You say softly, your eyelids drooping. You’re more than slightly tipsy and you could knock out any second now. You stretch out your arms and lean against your couch, your eyes threatening to fall shut.

Johnny flips to the next page in the album and he lets out a soft gasp. There’s a photo of you and the little boy. He’s blowing out a few candles on what seems to be his birthday cake. The cake is a strawberry shortcake. In the picture, Johnny spots you standing right behind the little boy with a huge smile plastered on your face.

“You know, he kind of looks like Mr. Jung. Don’t you think?”

Johnny glances at you and his gaze softens. You’ve already fallen asleep.

"Yoonoh? What are you doing here?”

Jaehyun looks at his mother. His eyes trail down to her hands that are covered with oven mittens. He picks up a strong whiff of chocolate chip cookies. This is his home, or should he say, used to be his home. It’s quite evident that he’s presence was unexpected, for his mother just stares at him with a mix of confusion and concern.

“Can I come in?”

She moves aside for him to step into the house. It’s warm and cozy, he notices when he steps into the house. He turns around and watches his mother remove her oven mittens. She heads towards him.

“Did something happen at work?” She asks hesitantly.

He shakes his head. “No, work is doing pretty fine.”

“Yoonoh, you’re freaking me out.” Her eyebrows furrow. “Is something wrong?”

He glances at the freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter top. His eyes shift towards his mother and he mumbles, “do you still happen to have childhood photos of me?”

She throws him a funny look. “That’s such a weird request, but yes, I still have them. Why don’t you take a seat in the living room while I go get them for you?”

“That would be nice.” He smiles.

She mirrors his smile and rushes over to the bowl filled with cookies before handing them to him. “Take these too.”

As he takes a seat on the couch in the living room, he observes the photos hung on the walls. They’re a collection of family portrait photos and graduation photos. These were the only photos that made it when him and his parents experienced a house fire when he was a little kid.

His mother returns with a small stack of photo albums. She takes a seat right next to him and hands him the photo albums.

As he opens the photo album, the first page he flips to is a photo of him and Misun. In the photo, it shows the two of them chasing each other out on his lawn. The photo seems to be taken by his mother, he assumes.

“You know, even though her mother passed when she was young, she was still such a lively young girl.” His mother says softly.

He glances at her and raises an eyebrow. “Misun?” His mother looks at him with confusion. “This little girl, her name is Misun. We reunited when I moved into the city to take care of the family business.”

“Misun? Her name is Misun?” His mother questions and he nods his head. “I don’t remember her name being Misun, Yoonoh.”

“The M on her necklace stands for Misun, doesn’t it?” He asks. “I’m sure you forgot, mother.”

“No, Yoonoh,” she shakes her head. “The M on her necklace stands for her late mother’s name, Mina. Your childhood friend’s name... what was it again? I don’t seem to remember. All I know is that the M on her necklace does not stand for Misun.”

“W-What?” He stutters nervously.

“Yoonoh, perhaps this Misun girl isn’t your childhood friend. You must’ve mistaken her as your childhood friend.” She places her hand on his shoulder.

“It can’t be.” He says, not believing it.

“Ah!” She exclaims. “I think I remember her name! It’s natural for me to have forgotten her name because her family moved out to the city when her mother passed.”

“What’s her name?”

Jaehyun’s face pales.

“Her name is Y/N.”

author’s note. i hope you guys liked it! this took me a fat month to write, so i really hope you guys enjoyed it. and as i said from a while back, this is in celebration of jaehyun’s birthday! kjshdfjdhf i love him with my whole ass heart. ALSO nct 127 comeback is soon! i am! not! ready!

feedback is very much appreciated! comments? let me know!

#jaehyun scenarios #jung jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun blurbs #jaehyun fluff #nct jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 #nct #nct 127 scenarios #nct scenarios #jung yoonoh scenarios #yoonoh scenarios #nct fluff #nct blurbs #nct 127 blurbs

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coffee-obsessed-writer · 4 years

Text

When You Least Expect It, Part Sixteen

Jensen Ackles x Musician!Reader

Masterlist - Contains Chapter Links & Wardrobe Collages

A/N: This is a much shorter chapter than the rest, but I hope you enjoy it!

Spotify Playlist

Series Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him.

What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.

Series Warnings: Language, Break-Ups, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mild Violence, Talk of Domestic Abuse

Chapter Summary: With the festival rapidly approaching, everyone is both on edge and excited for what lies ahead.

Chaper Warnings: None

WC: 6.5K

Series Beta’d by @closetspngirl

Dee

The private investigator Dee hired last Spring had been worth every penny. The information he delivered on Jensen’s new girlfriend gave her more than she could have hoped for. Her plan to contact the little twit’s ex-boyfriend seemed like a good idea at first; but as the weeks turned into months, even Dee could see Nathan’s instability grow. Once word of the incident at Jensen’s brewery reached her, she knew that maybe things had gone too far. All she wanted to do was try and cause some drama, hoping Jensen would shy away from the beach brat he was suddenly so obsessed with and come back to her. But as she sat, nipping at her cuticles while waiting in her rented Beamer for Nathan to show, she realized what a futile effort it had been.

The plan completely backfired, only pushing the two of them closer. Gen had let it slip that Y/N was now living in Vancouver with Jensen, completely bringing Dee’s hopes of a reconciliation crumbling to the ground. Even she had never been asked to move to Vancouver with him while they were together, and was instantly crushed when she heard the news. There was no chance of Jensen coming back to her; Dee knew that now it was a matter of protecting herself. Only God knew exactly what Nathan was capable of, but with the glimpses Dee had caught of him, she seriously began to fear how this would backlash onto her, if her part in everything had come out.

Everything she had done up until that point hadn’t been illegal, really. All she did was make a few phone calls and provoke a stranger into reacting. Yet somehow she knew that if Nathan was caught, and started talking, her name would be spoken and she’d have some things to answer for. Knowing the light it would paint her in, knowing how it could affect her career, Dee needed to be sure that Nathan would keep her out of it. After all, HE was the one who took things too far.

Dee turned her delicate wrist and checked the time on her watch; already a quarter past ten in the morning. Nathan had promised to meet her early that day outside of a small diner located in the outskirts of Austin. It was two days before the festival was to kick off, and she just needed a few reassurances before the big day. She still hated Y/N and loved Jensen, but deep down she finally conceded that SHE wasn’t the one he loved; Y/N was.

Another twenty minutes passed with no sign of Nathan. When she checked her watch again and saw it was nearly eleven, she closed her eyes and felt her stomach bottom out. Dee pushed the start button on her rental and hung her head, long strands of red hair obscuring her face and the handful of regretful tears that ran through her makeup. A soft, yet shaky laugh turned into shaking sobs as the air conditioning began to blow her hair back lightly. She drew in a deep breath and brought her vision back up towards the windshield. Off to the right of the old titanium plated diner, stood a tall, lanky man in a grey hoodie and ripped jeans. She felt his eyes on her and a mild bout of nerves raced through her veins. The man’s hood was drawn tightly around his head, leaving his face in a swirl of shadows. Regardless, she could feel his eyes on her and knew that it was Nathan.

They had only met in person once before earlier that Spring, and it was a brief encounter at best. Dee had been hesitant to meet face to face, but Nathan insisted. He said he was worried for Y/N, and the kind of people she’d gotten involved with. He was pushy and borderline manic, so Dee agreed to meet at the same diner she was now parked in front of. They drank coffee and Dee listened as Nathan recounted his surprise visit with Y/N. The way he explained it, she had turned her back on him, and then provoked Jensen into attacking him. His expression was concerned and fretful, but Dee knew it had all been an act. She was an actress, after all, and she could spot his lies a hundred miles away. Yet, it didn’t stop her from encouraging him to fight back, and fight for his girl.

The break-in at the condo hadn’t been all her idea, though as she sat in nervous self-reflection, she wouldn’t be able to deny planting the seed of thought in Nathan’s head. But, her little birdies told her that the amount of destruction that had been left was extensive, and far more than she felt comfortable with.

She killed the engine of the car, again, and slowly opened the driver’s side door. The minute it cracked open, Nathan began to approach her. When he was closer, she could see his features were drawn and his complexion turned ashy. The dark circles under his eyes and the pale tone of his lips caused her brow to furrow.

“Jesus, Nathan. What the hell happened to you?”

Nathan shrugged. “Life.”

“Well, maybe you should rethink the life you’re living if it’s leaving you looking like that.” Dee gave him a good once over, and noticed his hands were shaking. “Are you on drugs?”

He let out a deep, haunting laugh. “What the fuck you know about the drug life, Princess?”

“N-Nothing really, but I’ve been around enough people that do them to know what a junkie looks like.”

“You don’t know shit about shit. What the hell do you want, hm? You nagged me to get here so you could just put me down like everyone else?” His words weren’t threatening, but the tone and body language he delivered them with, was.

“No, I just… shit, man… this all got out of hand. I just wanted to check in, make sure you were okay,” she lied, doing her best to keep her face from betraying her. “I’m concerned.”

“Are you now?” Nathan snorted, and pushed the hood off his head, revealing his shaggy, dirty hair that was plastered to his head thanks to the heat of the Austin summer. “What made you so concerned? I did what you asked. I tried to break them up. But…” he trailed off, his eyes looking in Dee’s direction, but it was clear that he wasn’t actually seeing her.

“I was wrong, okay? Clearly those two idiots are happy together. So, I wanted to tell you that you could stop trying to break them up.”

Nathan shook his head slowly, and in a way that caused a bolt of anxiety to run down Dee’s spine. “Naw, can’t do that.”

“Can’t--can’t do what?”

“Stop trying to break them up…. Y/N is all I got left in this world.”

“But, what if she doesn’t want you? Then what? Do you really want her if she doesn’t want you? You deserve someone who loves you for who and what you are. Don’t get hung up on some past relationship because you think it's what you deserve. Trust me, Nathan, I speak from experience.”

“I give two shits about your experience. Y/N is my girl,” he snarled at her, “...always has been. So why don’t you bug the fuck off and leave me alone.”

“I will, I promise. But first I just need to make sure…” Dee let her words hang in the air, hoping he would get their meaning without her having to actually say it. From his expression, she knew that he got her point, but the concerning grin that unfurled on his face told her he wasn’t going to cut her an inch of slack. “...are you… I mean, can you, leave my name out of it?”

“It?” he asked, goading her into having to say the words.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“Jesus.. Fine. Please leave my name out of any involvement with whatever scheme you come up with next? Yes, I wanted them broken up, but the things you’ve done… I can’t be a part of it.”

“Too late, Princess. You’re part of it. And if I go down for any of this bullshit, so do you.”

Jensen

In the few weeks after their vacation at the shore, Jensen and Y/N were busier than ever. Each day brought some sort of hurdle that one or both of them needed to clear. As days dwindled down towards the start of the festival, they were more determined than ever to make it the best weekend Austin had ever seen. A few last minute additions to the various stage line ups caused some headaches, but they made it work and in the end. Jensen was still in awe watching Y/N handle the musicians, the vendors, the sponsors, the various charity groups involved, and all while she was trying to get her own music set list together. Not to mention practicing via video conference with Robbie and the rest of Louden Swain.

For most of his life, Jensen always wondered if a woman like her existed. Y/N was by no means perfect; she could be moody, and a bit of a slob which sometimes drove him crazy. Then, he would see her sitting on the couch, legs crossed in some ungodly way, with her head buried in her computer or a guitar on her lap, and any of her imperfections just melted away. Y/N did little else other than eat, sleep and breathe the festival. There were times in those weeks where despite the hectic schedule of planning and also filming the show, he half wished it was over already. Jensen wanted to start his life with Y/N, be with her without the current pressure that sat on both their shoulders. He and Jared had discussed on numerous occasions that maybe it was time for Supernatural to come to an end, giving them the opportunity to explore life outside of their precious Impala. But it wasn’t until those weeks between Seaside and the festival, that he was seriously considering it.

The idea of not living and working in Vancouver with his best friend normally caused a mild panic to settle into his gut. However, the last time he and Jared had discussed it, they both felt that the end was in sight. Jensen never brought it up to Y/N, never felt like the right time. With all their respective traveling and work loads, trying to plan a future needed to be put on the back burner. As much as it killed him to do so, he knew it was best for both their sakes. He decided once the festival was over he’d bring it up to her. Then, they could make a plan. If there was one thing Jensen knew for absolutely certainty, it was that he didn’t see any type of future without her in it.

They were knee deep in filming the seventh episode of the season, so if a decision was to be made about the future of the show, it had to be soon. Production was shutting down for five days solely so the entire cast and crew could fly down for the festival. Every single one of them had agreed to volunteer, or help out somehow, and it warmed his heart more than he could put into words. These people had become his extended family, a support system when he felt he had reached rock bottom, and some of the best damn human beings he’d ever met.

Filming had wrapped for the extended weekend, and Jensen was feeling that last scene in every muscle and bone. Fight scenes were always fun to block out, but once it got to actually throwing the stuntmen around, and executing the moves on camera it tended to wear him out. As Jensen plodded back to his trailer, both relieved and exhausted, he noticed a light was on inside, and saw the shadow of his best friend moving about. A little smirk twitched on his face as he climbed the metal steps to the trailer and quietly pushed open the door.

Jared was singing under his breath as Jensen walked in unnoticed. Jensen leaned against the door watching him, trying not to laugh as Jared’s head bobbed to the song stuck in his head. It was when Jared started making guitar riff noises that Jensen’s resolve broke, and he started clapping loudly, making his best friend nearly jump out of his skin.

“Bravo my man!” Jensen teased and walked slowly through the large trailer. “Hey, how come we didn’t find you a slot in the festival? With pipes like that--”

“Shut up,” Jared sighed and sat down on the leather couch, still clutching his chest from Jensen’s sudden intrusion. “Damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“Yeah, well, now you know what your singing does to me.”

“I’m sorry, DEAN, I thought we were done filming for today.” Jared rolled his eyes, but was unable to hide his own smile at their banter. “Seriously though, I thought we were done. Took you long enough to get back here.”

“Had to re-block one of the fight scenes. I was completely off my game, man. I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or what, but I could feel myself half-assing it.”

“Dude, do you not realize the year you’ve had? There are times I am amazed you’re still standing.”

Jensen shrugged it off and grabbed two cold beers from the mini-fridge, before handing one to Jared and sitting on the recliner across from him.

“Not like we haven’t been here before,” Jensen replied, but he knew what Jared really meant. Ignoring the look he could feel coming from the other side of the room, he leaned forward in the chair and finally met Jared’s eyes. “Speaking of… I think me, you and Misha really need to sit down and talk.”

Jared snorted a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I agree. It’s why I’m here, actually.”

After so many years together, the two friends could talk without words. Due to previous discussions and the telepathy that had developed through more than a decade of friendship, neither had to say what was on their mind.

Jared raised his beer and Jensen followed suit. They clincked the bottles together in cheers and each took a long draw of the dark brew.

“To one final season of Supernatural,” Jensen said with Jared nodding in agreement.

“To one more kick ass ride,” Jared smiled and took another pull from the bottle.

They sat in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of the decision slowly rolling off their shoulders. The air in the trailer felt lighter somehow, as if just saying the words out loud relieved some of the tension it had contained.

“Misha on board?” Jensen asked and looked up to see his friend nodding.

“He is. He’s broken up about it as much as we are, but he knows its time.”

Jensen just nodded and sat back in his chair. “Think we got one more year in us?”

“Damn straight we do. Hell, I know we have another FIVE years in us. Truth is, I think we are just both ready for the next thing… whatever that looks like.”

Again, Jensen nodded in agreement but sat quietly, contemplating what that thing was. “Do you know what you want to do?”

Jared shook his head. “Not really. A few offers have come in for movies, a new show or two, but nothing that really jumps up at me. I just know I want to be home more, help Gen with the kids. Actually be there and see them grow up.” He paused and looked at Jensen, who seemed a million miles away despite sitting two feet in front of him. “Jay? What about you? Do you know what comes next?”

A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of Jensen’s mouth. “I sure do, my brother. I sure as hell do. I want what you have with Gen. Wife, kids, house… the whole nine. When this festival is over, I’m going to ask Y/N to marry me. Whatever happens after that, doesn’t matter. I just know that my life isn’t complete, unless she’s in it with me.”

Jared nodded in agreement, and despite the heaviness of the decision they had come to, he could see the love and excitement in his best friend’s face. He raised his beer again, “That, is the best damn thing I’ve heard you say in forever. I admit I was skeptical at first, but Y/N brings out something in you I’ve never seen before.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Pure, unadulterated, happiness.”

Jensen leaned back in his chair, and for the first time in his life, he knew that no matter what came next, he would be okay because Jared was right. Y/N made him happier and more alive than anything else ever had. The life he had always wanted, with the woman he always dreamed of was right in front of him for the taking.

Y/N

Forty-eight hours from the start of the festival, and Y/N’s nerves were showing signs of strain from the pressure she had put on herself. She wanted everything about the weekend to be perfect; from the many venues, band line ups, vendors and volunteers. She oversaw everything, right down to the signs that she had the local schools help make that marked each section of the festival.

The idea had hit her months ago, to divide up the Austin Hometown & Brew Fest into little representations of each major city that was contributing food, drinks and music. Each school district in Austin was responsible for creating colorful signs for each “town”, and as she stood looked through the pictures of each one, her tired heart soared with pride and a surge of adrenaline she desperately needed. When she had been offered the job by Jensen, Y/N never believed for a second she would have the knowledge or drive to pull it off. Yet somehow, here she was--in the home stretch and still running.

Y/N stared at her phone flipping through the images Bri had sent her, as she walked barefoot through the Vancouver apartment waiting for Jensen to get back from filming so they could leave for the airport. They had a late flight to Austin, which didn’t give them much time, but they could make it work. Somehow, they always found a way. With Robbie, Bri and Mama already in Austin, Y/N knew that everything would get done that needed to, because they were just as invested in this as she and Jensen were and she couldn’t ask for much more than that. Y/N had an amazing crew behind her, a boyfriend she loved more than life, and a future with endless possibilities.

Just as she felt her stomach rubble, and made her way into the kitchen, the phone in her hand began to buzz. Bri’s name popped up, causing Y/N to smile and forget the hunger pains that nagged her.

“Hey Bri,” she answered with tired enthusiasm, “everything okay down there?”

“Stop being a worry wort, everything is FINE! I’m calling to check on you. How’s the nerves? Holding steady?”

“Eh, let’s just say I am holding it together. Too much to think about for me to start feeling the heat now.”

“Mhm, okay. Now, you want to try to say that in a way that will make me believe it?”

“Hush, I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

“If you say so. Honey, I promise you, everything is on track here. Robbie has the venues locked down. The stages are finishing being built, all the lights and equipment have been tested. Mama has the two theaters ready to rock n roll. Hell, even Gen is getting in on things. Do you know she took the kids down to the elementary school and helped them finish up the last few banners. I am telling you, there is nothing to worry about.”

Y/N felt a surge of relief, and let it wash over her taking with it the stress of last minute details. Yet, there was a nagging feeling left she didn’t like. One that settled in the pit of her stomach like a led weight.

“Bri…” Y/N paused, unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to ask. “...has there been any signs… or even a whiff of--”

“Nathan? No. There hasn’t.”

Y/N sighed audibly and felt her knees weaken at the sound of his name. She hated that even after the months that had passed since the breakin and incident in the brewery parking lot, the sound of his name could bring her such anxiety.

“You sure?”

“I swear. The police still have an APB on him, all the volunteers and security guards have seen his picture and know what to look for should he be stupid enough to try and get into any restricted areas.”

“Okay.” But Y/N wasn’t totally convinced. She felt it could be her own paranoia and years of history with Nathan, but she needed to focus on the tasks ahead, and not look back on a past that would continue to haunt her, if she let it.

“Listen, it’s late. Tomorrow morning, I’ll meet you at Jensen’s place here in town, and we will spend the entire day going over every last minute detail. You can bite your nails and stress the day away, but for now, go grab some food, take a nap, blast some music… whatever is going to make you chill out. Robbie and I got this. Mama, too. That lady is a force of nature and loves you somethin’ fierce. So if there is any one thing out of place, I guaran-damn-tee, Mama June will handle it.”

Y/N laughed, and immediately conjured an image of Mama bossing Robbie around, while Bri sat back chuckling. “You’re right. Between her, you and Robbie, I really have nothing to worry about.”

“Good girl. Now, how long before your flight leaves?”

“We have to be at the airport by ten, and I think it leaves at twelve thirty.”

“Okay, I’ll have a car there waiting to pick you guys up. Now, I know you two horn dogs can’t keep your hands off each other, but may I suggest some SLEEP when you get to Austin. Big days ahead, and we need you both well rested and ready to kick this in the ass!”

“You know Briana, there are days I truly, from the bottom of my heart, cannot stand you.”

“What can I say, it's a gift. I’ll see you in the morning,” she laughed and made three loud kissing noises.

“Love you too, Bri,” Y/N laughed and shook her head, “See you tomorrow.”

As Y/N ended the call, her stomach reminded her of her promise of cold pizza from the fridge. She placed her cell phone on the counter and began to rummage through the two left over pizza boxes. She grabbed two plain slices, and just as she took a huge bite, her phone began to ring again. Assuming it was Bri calling back, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

“I swear, I am going to eat and take a nap!” she mumbled in protest as an answer, with a mouth full of cold pizza, but no response came. Y/N chewed and swallowed as quickly as she could, thinking that her jumbled greeting may have thrown Bri off. “Sorry, had a mouth full of food. Miss me already?” she teased.

Again, no answer came, and that weight in her stomach twisted up like a tornado and clogged her throat.

“Hel--Hello? Bri?” She moved the phone from her face and looked at the screen. Bri’s name wasn’t there, nor was Robbie’s. Instead it just said, Private Caller. “Who is this?”

Five, maybe ten seconds passed, but for Y/N, it felt like an eternity. She could hear someone breathing on the other end, and in her gut, she was convinced it was Nathan.

When the person finally spoke, it was not the voice she suspected to hear. Not a man’s voice, but a digitally altered one. “Just a warning… cancel the festival, or there could be consequences.”

Y/N was speechless. She stood in Jensen’s kitchen, frozen in place with the phone glued to her hand. Slowly she brought the screen away from her face again, staring at the Private Caller and their ominous warning. She wanted to yell into the phone, curse off anyone who would try and scare her away from everything she’d worked so hard for. But her nerves had been pushed to the edge, and no words were coming from her lips.

The caller hung up before she could find the strength to reply. Her hunger faded instantly, taken over by a swell of bile rising in her gut. Her good feelings from just moments ago were gone. As she felt herself on the verge of puking, she dropped her phone on the counter, and ran for the bathroom so her empty stomach could purge itself. Once she had gotten up whatever had been left in her gut, she sat back on the cool tile, and rested her head against the wall. Y/N had no strength or will to move; the stranger’s words “...there could be consequences…” continued to repeat over and over in her head.

Y/N never did get up to get back to the kitchen, and when Jensen returned home a short time later, that’s where he found her; half asleep with a tear streaked face sitting in the corner of the bathroom. He didn’t ask her any questions, but instead sat beside her and gathered her into his arms, leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“Whatever it is baby, I promise you, we’ll get through it,” he cooed in comfort as she felt herself melt into his side. Assuming it was stress and anxiety over the festival, he held her close there on the bathroom floor until it was time to leave for the airport.

That’s when she knew for complete certainty, she wasn’t going to tell him about the call. She would NOT let anyone interfere with all they had worked towards; certainly not some piece of shit like Nathan, or a petty schemer like Dee. Y/N would never let either of them take anything from her, again.

Nathan

He watched as the snotty little redhead and her fancy ass Beamer pulled out of the diner parking lot. Nathan’s face remained stone-like as Dee’s gaze didn’t leave his until she had turned left and sped out of view. Nothing she had said to him gave him a second of pause; no reconsidering, no backing down. Nathan had reached the “couldn’t care less” portion of his actions months ago, and now all he could think about was how to enact the best possible revenge, on all of them.

Getting lost in his thoughts, he stood motionless in the parking lot, absently watching the traffic pass him by. Austin had a ton of traffic, and people, making it easy for him to blend into his surroundings and stay unnoticed. He knew the cops were looking for him, so he did his best to stay off the radar. It wasn’t until an Austin City cop car slowly passed the diner, that his feet finally decided to move. He still had too much to do before he could put his last plan into place.

Nathan pulled his hood back up, then shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets as he casually strolled down the busy Austin streets. He cut through a few alleyways, and popped out a few blocks away. Though he looked like a citizen going for a casual stroll, he knew just where he was going. It had taken a while to get the cash he needed, but snatching a few purses from some old ladies, and that one grab ‘n go hold up at the gas station finally gave him what he needed. His fingers felt around in his pockets for the wad of cash that was now bundled there, giving him an odd sense of security.

None of his plans had worked out since landing back in Jersey last winter. He had tried being friendly and getting back into Y/N’s life the right way. He gave her space and time to realize her own mistakes, as well as hopefully accept and forgive his own. Nathan thought for sure that would bring them together, but instead, she just ran back to this new guy trying to forget all they had meant to each other since they were kids. Just thinking of it caused his heart to pound, and his fists to clench around the silky bundle of bills stashed in his pocket. That money was the key; it would get him what he needed to make one final convincing argument on his own behalf. If she didn’t see how they were meant to be after that, then he would have to go with Plan B.

Hours later, after he purchased the items he needed, he began to wander the streets, trying to clear his head some. As Nathan passed by a hulking skyscraper, he caught his reflection in the mirrored panels of the structure. He saw what a dirty mess he was and decided to head back to the abandoned warehouse outside of the city where most of Austin’s homeless settled in for the night. It was a risk since the cops liked to come in randomly and bust up the encampment, but one he was willing to take. There he could clean up some, find a change of clothes and try to look the part he needed to play for the next few days in order to win back Y/N, once and for all.

Nathan successfully bartered for a clean pair of jeans, an almost new shirt and one use of the make-shift shower. Once he was clean and newly clothed, he found a quiet corner where someone abandoned a sleeping bag, pillow and even a few packets of Ramen noodles. Being an expert at living on the street, Nathan found a way to make the food, then hunkered down onto the sleeping bag. As the soup cooled, he transferred the items from his old jeans to his new ones and then tossed them aside. He wouldn’t need them anymore, because after he talked to Y/N, they would be together, and she could buy him a whole new wardrobe. After all, she was working with the bigwigs now and he was certain she could afford it.

Picking at the hot noodles, Nathan let himself reminisce on the days when he and Y/N were happy and carefree. Days on the beach, nights on the boardwalk, him and her hand-in-hand. Countless days spent out on her dad’s boat with her and her brother Dave, and just as many nights drinking under the boards, dreaming of what life was like far away from Seaside. Y/N dreamt of being a rock star or some dumb shit, but Nathan knew she wouldn’t have the guts to really leave their hometown. She was a born and bred local, and no real locals ever got too far away. When she actually left and went on to make a new life for herself, he felt betrayed. He felt abandoned and hurt that he wasn’t enough to keep her put. Now, as he sat on the rumpled sleeping back with a cup of steaming, tasteless noodles in hand, he let his free hand slip into the pocket of his jeans again. This time it wasn’t the bulk of cash giving him comfort, but the touch of the cool metal that lived in his pocket.

“One way or another,” he mumbled, tossing the soup aside with disgust, “I will have my girl and my life back.”

Austin, Day Before Festival Kicks Off...

Thirty-six hours from the start of the festival, Jensen, Y/N, Briana, Robbie, Jared, Gen, Mama and about two hundred volunteers stuffed themselves into the theater where the Burlesque troop would be performing the following evening. The seven of them stood on the stage watching as swarms of people claimed a seat, all talking excitedly about the events that were to follow. Most of them were familiar faces to Jensen and Jared, having worked on the show with them for so long, but the ones they didn’t know, didn’t give them a second of pause or concern. They were all here to lend their time and services for free in an effort to do their part for the city. Every single person that walked through the doors of that theater had been background checked, and vetted through a private sponsor to ensure the safety of the festival goers, the bands, and especially those behind the scenes putting it all together.

That was one thing Jensen had insisted on when the idea of community volunteers had first come up. It was well before he and Y/N had fallen in love and had run-ins with Nathan and Dee. He needed to be sure that everyone involved would be safe, and in turn the weekend could be a huge success. Two separate private security firms had been hired, with special attention focused on keeping Nathan out. Jensen didn’t think Dee would have the nerve to show her face, but he made sure that each member of the security team had Nathan’s photo and full description.

Getting lost in his own thoughts as the stream of volunteers finally closed the vestibule doors, he barely noticed Robbie setting up a microphone and begin addressing the crowd. It wasn’t until Y/N casually made her way to his side and brushed against his shoulder, was he able to pull away from his own mind and come back to the present.

“You okay there, Hollywood?” she whispered, casually glancing at him from the corner of her eye. “Big crowd here. You got stage fright all of a sudden or something?”

“Huh?” he asked, then quickly shook his head, “No, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“All of this,” he said and snorted a laugh. “I mean, look at what you put together… all of these people are here because they believe in what you created--”

“What WE created. Jay,” Y/N grabbed Jensen’s hand, and despite two hundred pairs of eyes watching them, turned him towards her and kissed his lips. “I didn’t do this, you didn’t do this. Not Robbie, Bri, Mama… But ALL of us together.”

Before Jensen could respond, Robbie turned his attention towards them, holding out the microphone. When neither of them knew why, he raised his eyebrows then covered the top of the mic with his hand.

“You wanna jump in on this pep talk, kids?”

Jensen cleared his throat and passed Robbie a sarcastic smile. “My pleasure.” He took the microphone in hand and before he could speak, the applause radiated towards him from the theater like a shock wave. He felt his heart surge at the entire crowd, much like it did every time he was on stage at a convention. The overwhelming love and gratitude was hard to miss when in this type of setting.

“Thank you guys, really. Y’all are far too kind. It's us who should be applauding you! Because no matter how hard we have collectively worked to put this whole thing together, without you guys lending your time and efforts, it just wouldn’t be possible.”

Another surge of applause from the captivated audience caused Jensen to lower the mic and just enjoy the moment.

“Seriously, from the bottom of all our hearts, we thank you for not only the love and support you’ve shown us from the get go, but for the love and dedication you are showing to the city of Austin. All the proceeds from ticket sales this weekend will be divided among various city organizations that work towards education enrichment programs, women’s shelters, soup kitchens, including a new music and arts program that will benefit children and teenagers from all across the city.”

Applause again, but this time even more deafening. The sea of faces before him were smiling ear to ear and cheering loudly. As Jensen moved his vision to the right in what felt like slow motion, he caught the wide grins of his closest friends who were sharing the stage with him, who were also clapping along with the crowd.

Jensen brought the mic up to say more, but he was at a loss for word. The energy and vibe in the theater that night left him speechless, and it took all his will to not let himself shed a tear. Y/N could see his emotions building under the surface, and gently took the mic from his hand. He smiled at her thankfully for it, and took a step back as she proceeded to prepare herself to address the crowd.

“We can’t thank you all enough for the support, and love you brought with you here not only for tonight, but for this entire weekend. Now, we don’t want to take up too much of your time, so I am going to pass the mic over to Ms. Briana Buckmaster who has a few quick things to go over with you. After that, Mama June and I will be at each end of the theater exits handing out your official volunteer shirts for the weekend. One last thing before we get to the nitty gritty, while you are out there working hard to make sure our guests have fun, don’t forget to stop and enjoy the festival yourselves! We have done our best to make sure that all volunteers get plenty of breaks to go enjoy the food and music, as well as give each of you a free admission voucher to pass along to a family member, friend, or just someone you know who would enjoy the event but can’t afford to buy their own ticket. We want this to be an all-inclusive event. So have fun, work hard, and let’s make this something not only the city of Austin, but every other town and city represented here, will never forget!”

For the last time that night, the volunteers cheered and applauded the words of love and encouragement bestowed on them. Y/N passed the microphone to Bri, who’s smile lit up her dimples nearly as bright as the lights of the theater. Briana pulled Y/N into a big hug and held her tightly. Right before she let go, Bri squeezed her and whispered in her ear, “You’ve come a long way from that scared, nervous woman I met New Year’s Eve. I am so fucking proud of you!”

With that, Bri released her from the embrace, reset herself and turned to address the volunteers. Y/N took a step back to stand beside Jensen, and immediately felt his hand snake into hers. They watched on as Bri continued to captivate the audience with her distinct and charming way of explaining the processes and procedures for the weekend. Just as Bri wrapped up her part of the speech, Jensen and Y/N took a moment to meet each other’s gaze. Y/N had all but forgotten the call from the day before, and found herself feeling more confident than ever that everything they had worked so hard for would unfold without a hitch.

Tag List:

Everything: @coffeebooksandfandom / @sorenmarie87 / @yallgotkik / @thefaithfulwriter / @sister-winchesters99 / @thymeheals / @keymology / @divadinag

SPN RPF (Jensen): @screechingartisancashbailiff / @winchesterxfamilybusiness / @sandlee44 / @wings-of-a-raven / @negans-wife / @kazosa / @deans-baby-momma / @teaspoin / @whiskeyandapplepie / @hobby27 / @breereadsthings / @maddiepants / @adoptdontshoppets / @squirrelnotsam / @faughnphotography / @katehuntington / @his-paradox / @deansenwackles / @destielhoneybee

When You Least Expect It: @mrsjenniferwinchester / @vickyfarley / @winchest09 / @jerkbitchidjitassbutt / @aomi-nabi / @luciathewinchestergirl / @alexiswinchester / @seppys-return-to-madness / @donnaintx / @deans-baby-momma / @the-is13 / @stoneyggirl / @captaindorit0 / @fanfictionjunkie1112 / @focusonspn / @deanwanddamons / @theebeee / @ultimatecin73 / @deanwinchesterswitch

Wanna get in on one of my tag lists? View the different Tag Lists, and send me an ask with which one you’d like to be on! Series Tags are on one sheet, Character tags on a second sheet.

#Jensen Ackles RPF #Jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen x reader #spn rpf #WYLEI

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ryuubees-moved · 3 years

Text

summary ; ryuunosuke finds that the moments he spends with his new friend hachimitsu are like espresso shots: small and fleeting, yet nonetheless revitalizing...then again, perhaps it’s more than a simple friendship that’s brewing.

pairing ; ryuubee (ryuunosuke tsunashi x hachimitsu aino)

a/n ; let me just start by saying that love is one hell of a motivator, apparently—i wrote this in 5 days and it ended up just under 4.5k words?? which is the most i’ve ever written in that short of a time period,,,crazy.

anyways!! i thought it’d be fun to do something special for our three month anniversary (especially considering i forgot the day and missed the last two but shhh), so this is a little trip down memory lane with a little lot of oblivious pining on ryuu’s end. it’s a far longer read compared to my last fic, but i hope you give it a go and enjoy it!! 🤎

ryuu remembered their first meeting like it was yesterday.

night had begun to settle over the city, bringing with it a faint chill as he walked home from a hectic day. it was still hard to believe that they had won at the black or white competition little more than a month ago, but, since then, the skyrocket in popularity that came with their victory had left him with busier schedules than before. it wasn’t that he minded—though it was hard work, he still enjoyed it—but he’d found that free moments like these were becoming increasingly difficult to come by. and when work typically consisted of not only rushing between rehearsals, publicity stunts, and the like, but mediating the ever-frequent spats between his two groupmates as well, he’d come to appreciate these quiet moments where he finally had time to think and unwind.

it seemed that the night had other plans for him, however, as his train of thought was cut short at the sound of a familiar melody playing from nearby—all too familiar, in fact, he noted as he stopped in his tracks for a moment. after all, that was definitely one of their songs he was hearing, wasn’t it? it may have been one of their newer releases, but it was still easily recognizable—and, from what he could hear, whoever was playing it sounded good.

his curiosity piqued, he resumed his walking, the melody growing louder as he followed it to its source. eventually, he stopped at the door of a small café situated along the street, the sign hung above the door reading "kumamai café," accompanied by a little bear drawing that he assumed was the store mascot. his hand rose to the door handle, resting there for a moment as he debated whether or not to enter, but eventually made up his mind, readjusting the mask on his face before stepping inside.

the bell by the door chimed softly as it closed behind him, though it was paid no mind as he laid his eyes on the singer. she was seated on a stool towards the back of the café, her gaze on the guitar she was strumming as she led into the chorus of the piece. it was new, hearing a song like theirs in an acoustic form like, but it was far from bad. maybe it was the way the accompaniment carried through the microphone, or the way her voice lilted along every phrase, but he soon found himself lost in the melody, hanging on to the notes he knew by heart.

and then, as suddenly as he’d heard her, it was over, the strum of the final chord snapping him from his trance. as the guests began to applaud, and him with them, she looked up from her instrument with a smile.

"alright, that’s all for tonight!" she announced cheerily into the mic. "thank you all for coming to listen!"

oh, that was it? it seemed he’d only caught the tail end of her performance. the applause quickly simmered down, the members of her audience returning to whatever conversations they may have been engaged in before. his attention remained on her, though, watching as she slipped off of her stool and began to set about clearing her things. noticing she seemed to be stuck doing so alone, he made his way over to her to offer some assistance.

"need any help with that?"

"oh!" the girl glanced in his direction as she continued wrapping up the cord from her microphone, flashing him an appreciative smile. "if you don’t mind! i just need a little help carrying all of this back to store away until next time."

he gave an affirmative hum and set about picking up some of the heavier-looking items, following after her as she led him to the storage cabinet in the back of the café, directing him as to where it all went.

"…and that should be the last of it!" she concluded, brushing off her hands on her jeans before turning to face him fully. "thanks for your help, um—"

she cut herself off abruptly as her eyes landed on him, shock and realization slowly dawning on her face. "wait…you’re—!"

she’d recognized him? well, considering she had just been performing one of his group’s songs, maybe it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise. tenn had always told him that he and gaku were still pretty noticeable despite their disguises, especially now with their popularity on the rise. "ah, yeah," he confirmed her discovery, his hand rising to the back of his neck as he chuckled sheepishly.

at that, she clasped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide as saucers. "oh my god, i’m so sorry! i didn’t even notice, and you…" she trailed off, struggling to find her words amid her disbelief. "…you heard me?"

he nodded, lowering his mask and offering her a smile—they were the only two back there and she’d already figured him out, so he supposed it was alright. "only that last one, but you sounded good! i was impressed by what i heard, especially considering that son hasn’t been out very long."

a squeal escaped through her bit-back grin, practically bouncing in her place as she flapped her hands excitedly. he had to admit, it was quite endearing to see.

"you’re kidding! you really—" she cut herself off with a breathless laugh, growing more awkward as she began to settle. "sorry, i just…i’ve been doing this for years, but i never would’ve expected this! it’s like a dream...i mean, you’re here, and you heard me singing your song, and you…you liked it?"

once again, he answered with a simple nod, which seemed to be more than enough to brighten her features once more. even so, she cleared her throat in an attempt to calm herself.

“well, i suppose i probably shouldn’t keep you! i’m sure the life of a black or white champion is a busy one, and i wouldn’t want you wasting your free time like this,” she mused, adjusting her glasses with a sheepish expression. “thanks again for your help, ryu—er, tsunashi-san.”

“happy to help,” he replied with a chuckle. “and it wasn’t a waste at all! this was just the break i needed to end my day.”

“really?” she blinked at him owlishly. “well, if that’s the case, i’ll be doing another one of these again a week from now, if…”

she trailed off, but it wasn’t hard to figure out what she was implying. then again, maybe it was because he had found her hopeful proposition so appealing. “i’ll keep it in mind, um...”

“aino hachimitsu,” she finished for him. “sorry, i guess i forgot to introduce myself.”

“it’s alright, don’t worry,” he assured her. “well then, aino-san, i’ll try to stop by if i can.”

sure enough, he’d managed to stop by that next week—and the next, and the next, until the two found themselves settling into their own little routine before they even realized it. they certainly had their share of awkward moments, of course, but even so, he found that being around her brought him an odd sense of comfort he couldn’t quite place. he’d come to appreciate the nights he got to spend just talking with her in the back of the café, away from any stresses of work or fan’s prying eyes.

"you seem tired today, tsunashi-kun. you didn’t have too much trouble at work, did you?"

well, away from all but one.

"no, work’s been the same as usual," he assured her, though he could still see the doubt in her eyes as she stared him down from her chair. "things have just been a little busier with the concert coming up, that’s all."

"oh, that’s right! that’s in a few weeks, isn’t it?"

"mhm. are you going?"

"of course, i have my ticket and everything! i even splurged a little and got myself a good seat," she declared, puffing her chest out proudly while he chuckled at her response. "i was glad i managed to get one before they sold out, honestly."

he was relieved by the fact, too, though he didn’t mention it. it was true, their notoriety made tickets hard to come by, typically selling out within a day or two. he was certainly experienced in his work by now, but that wasn’t to say that he didn’t still feel that pang of nerves before a performance. just knowing he’d have a friend out there in the audience cheering him on already helped to put him a little more at ease.

"how have you been, though?" he asked after a moment, moving their conversation forward. "i assume things have been normal here?"

"yep! business has picked up some, but otherwise it’s all good here," she answered, though she grew more sheepish as she went on. "between you and me, though, i think some people have caught on to the rumor that you’ve been coming here. i get questions every once in a while from a couple customers."

"oh, really?" that was a cause for concern. his visits hadn’t caused them any trouble, had they? hachimitsu seemed to be fine with it and her boss had never complained, but he didn’t want to end up making them overwhelmed later on. and what if it sparked some odd rumor about the two of them? tenn and gaku would never let him hear the end of it, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know what president yaotome would say on the matter, considering it definitely wouldn’t be anything good.

"oi, earth to tsunashi!"

a poke on his shoulder accompanied by her raised voice served to startle him out of his worries, and he looked to his companion to see her staring at him with her brows furrowed. however, as she heaved a sigh, her expression softened upon successfully regaining his attention—he wasn’t sure how long she’d been trying.

"it’s nothing to worry about, okay? i promise we’ve got things under control here," she told him sincerely, a laugh escaping her as she continued. "it’s not like this is some sort of big scandal or anything, after all! i’ve just had to disappoint a curious fan or two with a little 'oh, i wish i could say i’ve met him!' you know, waxing poetic and all that.”

finding her laughter infectious, he couldn’t resist the amused smile that tugged at his lips. "little do they know, huh?"

"little do they know," she echoed, a similar look gracing her features. "so no stressing here! i wouldn’t wanna lose my vip audience because of a couple fangirls. that, and i really enjoy your company."

"alright, i’ll take your word for it, then." his smile had only grown at her comment, touched by her reasonings and glad to hear that she appreciated these moments as well. in only a few weeks, it seemed that she already had a knack for knowing how to make him feel better. "thanks, aino."

"of course! now, moving on...since you’ve obviously been spending a lot of time prepping for your concert, are there any fun work stories you can share with me?"

he laughed at her request, his concerns dissipating as he put them behind him. "well, there was this one moment today when—"

"hacchan!"

a voice cut in on their conversation, and the two turned to the doorway to see the café owner standing there.

"sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt you two!" he apologized, bowing to them both before turning to his employee. "i just wanted to let you know that i need to head out for the night. you don’t mind closing up tonight, do you?"

"not at all! i’ve told you i can take care of closing on these nights, kumamoto-san," she replied, getting up from her seat to grab the keys from the man. "did you want me to go ahead and do that now?"

"no, no, you two take all the time you need. i just thought i’d let you know. goodnight, both of you!"

they both offered their goodnights, and ryuu watched as she stared after her boss for a moment before turning back to him, hurrying back to her seat with an eager grin, one that he couldn’t help but mirror.

"so, where were we?"

"happy new year!"

hearing hachimitsu’s voice through the phone, cheerful as ever, immediately brought a smile to his face. it was still hard to believe that a year had already come and gone, especially considering all that had happened within the past months. between all of the concerts and events they’d participated in (or not, he noted, considering the sound ship incident), their newfound rivalry with the still-new idolish7, and, as of that night, their big showdown at black or white, the past year had felt full of unforgettable events.

"happy new year! did you watch the competition?"

an incredulous scoff sounded from the other end. "are you kidding? me, watch black or white? i wouldn’t miss it for the world!"

"just thought i’d make sure," he said amusedly, a soft chuckle escaping him. "so? what did you think?"

"oh my god, it was amazing! i’ll have you know i got chills watching both of your performances, even from the television," she told him. even without seeing her, he could recognize her excitement from her voice, easily able to picture the grin on her face and the sparkles in her eyes she always had when talking about things like these. he always enjoyed listening to her ramble on about the pieces she got interested in, whether he knew them or not.

"yeah, idolish7 did a great job, didn’t they? i think we all nearly started cheering them on."

"right? they just have this draw to them or something."

"i think so, too. they definitely earned that win tonight."

"hey, you guys deserved it just as much! i was impressed that the votes were so close," she noted, quick to jump to their defense. "i’ll have you know i voted for you guys, of course. i even got my family in on it, too!"

"really?"

"yeah, of course! what, you think i wouldn’t be rooting for you? i thought you knew me better, ryuu."

"no, that’s not it! i’m glad to hear it, hachi." he laughed at her antics, but couldn’t ignore the fluttery swell in his chest at her words of support. well, he supposed it was just because he was happy to hear that she was that dedicated to his group, like when their fans started cheering for them after the winners announcement at the competition. settling on that conclusion, he pushed the feeling away, moving the conversation along. "let me guess: you’ve already started trying to learn the songs, haven’t you?"

it was silent on the other end for a brief second, giving him the answer before she even spoke up.

"…i may have recorded the show so i could go back and try to figure out the chords, yeah."

"i thought so," he mused with a laugh. it seemed that every time they or another group released a new song, she’d always managed to pick it up within the next week or two that he saw her. then again, he may have been one to help every once in a while when he could. "how far have you gotten?"

"ryuu, you guys only sang them earlier tonight. i’m not a wizard, y’know," she answered jokingly. "the melodies are easy, but i’ll have to go back and listen to you guys a couple of times first before i really get the hang of the accompaniment. i might try to pick up re:vale’s song while i’m at it, too…"

"you should! they were phenomenal—though i guess i shouldn’t expect less from the overall winners."

"right? they were bound to come out on top with that!"

"well, if you want, maybe i can let you take a peek at my sheet music the next time i’m there?" he offered, "that way you can focus more on the other two, if you think it’ll help."

"ryuu, what do you think i’m going to say?"

he couldn’t help his amusement upon hearing the barely-suppressed excitement in her voice. "alright, i’ll be sure to bring it with me, then."

"yes! i can’t wait!" she cheered, going on hopefully. "next week?"

"next week," he agreed with a smile, feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling again at the prospect. it had been a little while since they’d last met up, what with the holiday rushes and crammed schedules, so he was looking forward to seeing her again. he opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted as another voice cut in.

"ryuu, are you coming? you’re the one who said we should do this…"

"i’m coming, just give me a minute!" he called back, before returning his attention to his phone. "sorry, we’re going out to celebrate our performance. i probably shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer."

"even though you lost?"

"yeah, i thought it’d be good for team morale!"

"oh, gotcha! yeah, i wouldn’t leave them hanging like that," she reasoned amusedly. "you go have fun! i’ll be waiting for you next week!"

"we will," he replied, "and don’t worry, i’ll be sure to remember my music. goodnight, hachi."

the little bell chimed softly as he entered the café, exhaling a content sigh as warmth returned to his body after the winter chill outside. his final rehearsal for the day had run longer than expected, so he could only hope he’d gotten there before she’d gone.

"oh, you’re here!"

looking over to the counter, he was relieved to see her standing there, thus proving his worries unnecessary. she placed the dish she’d been cleaning in its rightful spot before bounding over to him, face alight with happiness.

"sorry i’m late! gaku arrived a bit late from a shoot, so we started later than planned," he apologized, a sheepish smile on his face. "i left as soon as we were done."

"no worries! i figured it had something to do with work since you never texted me about cancelling," she assured him, though her attention quickly shifted as she eyed the folder in his hand, breaking out into a grin. "is that what i think it is?"

"i promised you i’d bring it today, didn’t i?"

"hey, i’m just making sure!" came her defensive reply, though her eyes danced with amusement. "i have to finish up a few things for kumamoto-san first, but can i take a look at it after that?"

"that’s what i brought it for," he pointed out with a laugh. "if you want, i can help you with those, too."

"are you sure? it’s my job, you know. i don’t wanna put you to work after you’ve come here to wind down and all…"

"i don’t mind! besides, the quicker you finish them, the more time you can have to read over the music, right?"

she pondered over his reasonings for a moment as he made his way behind the counter, but eventually gave in with a nod. "yeah, i can’t argue with that," she admitted, before sighing exasperatedly. "honestly, ryuu, you do too much for me."

he only chuckled at that, and the two set themselves to work finishing up her tasks for the day. a comfortable silence settled over them as they worked, save for the occasional bits of small talk they’d throw out to pass the time. he couldn’t help but find the situation comfortably domestic, a thought which sparked a flutter in his stomach that caught him by surprise. it wasn’t a new feeling by any means—in fact, he’d felt it a small handful of other instances in their times spent together—but he had never been able to place exactly what it was. still, he wasn’t given much time to dwell on the matter, not as hachimitsu brought up another story of hers that quickly stole his attention.

the minutes passed by on the clock above the counter, but between the two of them, it didn’t take long until each of her assigned chores were taken care of.

“...and that should be the last of it! thanks again for pitching in.”

“of course! i told you i’m happy to help,” he answered as the two stepped back from the counter.

“yeah, i know, i know,” she sighed lightheartedly, giggling softly as she removed her working apron. “i’m gonna go put this back real quick, but i’m checking out that music as soon as i’m back!”

he had no time to respond to her claim as she rushed off eagerly, staring after her retreating form for a moment before making his way back over to where he’d laid the music in question down upon the counter. surely she’d want to waste as little time as possible, he thought to himself, chuckling lightly at the notion as he opened the folder to the first page.

“okay, okay, i’m back! let me see!”

once again, he was given next to no warning other than her call before she was back by his side, nearly bouncing with anticipation as she began to look over the notes in front of her. ryuu, however, found himself more focused on the fact that she had practically pressed herself flush against him to get to it, a realization which only brought back that fluttery feeling, along with a warmth to his face.

seeming to notice their proximity only seconds after him, she quickly jumped back, a blush dusting her own cheeks (it was cute, honestly...not that that was important, though). “oh my god, i’m so sorry! i was so excited, i just—”

“i-it’s alright!” he cut her off with a response he could barely squeak out, clearing his throat in an attempt to both calm and hide his sudden nerves. “you just surprised me, is all.”

she eyed him a moment longer, but said nothing, simply settling back into her position as she pored over the melodies. despite his initial reaction, he settled back in close beside her nonetheless, answering her questions and providing commentary on some of the sections she found tricky or confusing. her body felt warm against his own, fitting against his side like a puzzle piece, and he couldn’t help but admire the way her eyes seemed to shine behind her glasses, her gaze trained devotedly on the pages in front of her, or the way her lips pursed in concentration, humming a line or two to herself every so often.

he was certain he was staring, but couldn’t bring himself to look away. that fluttery feeling returned, but this time he found it bearable…almost comfortable, even.

and though he still didn’t quite know what it was, as the night drew on in her company, he hoped it would last forever.

"oi, ryuu!"

he jumped, startled, as he was quite literally snapped out of his reverie, turning in time to see gaku’s hand return to his side as he stared at him exasperatedly. "are you even listening?"

"ah—no, sorry," he admitted sheepishly, offering his friend and groupmate an apologetic look.

the group leader only sighed, hands braced against his hips. "honestly, you were like this all of rehearsal, too! you know you can tell us when something’s bothering you, right?"

"oh, no, nothing’s bothering me!" he assured him, feeling a pang of guilt over potentially causing them any concern. it was true, the thoughts plaguing his mind were anything but concerning. it was just that—

"you’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?"

his eyes widened, and he turned to face their center, who he found eyeing him with a pointed look.

"what was her name again? something like—"

"hachi," ryuu answered quickly—perhaps a bit too quickly, he noted, judging by the identical looks of surprise on tenn and gaku’s faces.

tenn was the first to recover, though, a faint huff escaping him. "well, you can do what you want with your time. just do us a favor and don’t let your little crush get in the way of our work."

wait, what? as his words registered, ryuu felt a rush of warmth to his face. "no, wait, you don’t understand! it’s not like that!"

"i’d say! your crush is anything but little," gaku noted with a teasing smirk, though it was quickly replaced with a glare to their third member upon hearing him mutter a judgmental "like you’re one to talk."

but as the two soon devolved into their usual bickering, he couldn’t bring himself to step in and break them up, his focus occupied with mulling over their claims, however teasing.

that couldn’t be it, right? they were just messing with him. sure, despite what his public image might’ve suggested, he’d had very little romantic experience, but he was certain he’d be able to recognize if he’d fallen for someone.

hachi was just a close friend, after all! they’d known each other for a little over a year now, which was certainly enough to consider her such. it was natural for him to look forward to seeing her, or want to be close to her, or feel his heart swell whenever he made her smile or laugh, or—

oh.

the realization crashed over him all at once. that was it. the nervous jitters, the giddy rushes, the warm, fuzzy feelings...it all made sense, and at that moment he wondered how he’d failed to notice it sooner. how was it that his friends managed to piece it together in teasing, when with all the time he’d spent with her, he hadn’t figured it out?

he couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation, the sound of which caused the other two to break off their argument, turning to him with curious expressions.

“sorry, sorry!” he managed to say as his amusement died down. “i just realized that you two might be onto something.”

they shared a look, before turning back to him.

“might?” gaku asked incredulously, raising a brow.

“okay, fine, fine, you’re definitely onto something.”

and despite the grounding realization, he felt as though his heart was lighter than ever.

#honeyed harmonies #okay to rb!!#i'm so impressed i got this done in time ngl i'm usually atrocious with sticking to writing deadlines #but!! i love him and this lots so perhaps that was it <333 #happy anniversary ryuu you oblivious dork 🥺🥺 i adore you #self ship writing

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wolfpawn · 4 years

Text

I Hate You, I Love you, Chapter 75

Chapter Summary - Danielle gets ready to leave for the reshoots, meaning that since their moving in together, it is the first time Tom is left behind, an odd sensation for him.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

The break was everything Tom needed to get himself back in a good frame of mind, his body needed the massage to get out the knots he seemed to have given himself after the stress of everything, the break away got him out of the eye of the public, and finally being able to be intimate with Danielle again made him feel as though he was not falling apart completely. If her masseuse was to be believed, she too was carrying a large burden on her shoulders, but she had not shown it in his presence. After more than a little prodding, he had gotten her to admit that study was getting on top of her as well as trying to get back to work, with at least another fortnight before her brace could come off, she was worried she would miss the opportunity to interview for the US job she had been eyeing for the summer. He sensed she was also worried about him but did not say anything on the subject.

Their return to the city was fairly quiet, getting immediately back into a routine, though with less studying from Danielle's perspective. Instead, she readied to go back on location for Game of Thrones for the reshoots, packing large hoodies and jackets to take attention off her injured arm, which she was hoping to keep hidden. Tom worried that it was not a good idea to go if she was injured, but part of him knew it was not a concern, but selfishness that was causing him to think that way. He knew she would be fine, she was more level-headed than most, bar the incident that led to said injury; she would make sure to be careful so that it would be off sooner rather than later.

"I am after clearing the downstairs area of all things 'me' related," Danielle informed him as she entered the bedroom. Tom turned to look at her, conveying his confusion as he did so. "You said you were inviting the writer here for the interview?" "Yes." "Well, we don't want to go parading it all, so I have all my stuff tidied away."

"You erased all trace of yourself?"

"No, simply tidied my things downstairs until I come back." She corrected. "Our room is the same, as you can see," She pointed around. "About Mac, do you want me to put him in somewhere or will he be okay with you?" "Are you saying you think I cannot mind our dog?" Tom asked putting his arms around her.

"I am saying you might not have the time or the wish to mind him if you are busy." "I am not too busy for him, he will stay here with me." "Okay, and what are you planning to cook for…what is her name again?" "Taffy." Tom smiled. "I was thinking of cooking something simple." "Make it something reheatable, do it earlier in the day to allow you to no seem ignorant and ignore her while cooking," Danielle suggested.

"You are so considerate." Tom kissed her. "You don't mind her coming here?" Danielle frowned, "Why would I even care?"

"Well, another woman…" "Tom, she is a magazine writer, this is not some seedy rendezvous behind my back, if I was not working I would be here or close by, you are making it sound as though you plan on the two of you having some heated saucy affair." Danielle scoffed.

Tom looked at her for a moment. "Thank you." Danielle cocked her head slightly. "So many partners get jealous." "Tom if I get jealous at you meeting women you need to work with, this is not going to last particularly long." She laughed. "I mean, safety control means I work with the set crew, which to date, has had zero women on the construction side of things, zero, nada, zilch. If the same logic was to be applied to me, you would be bald, grey and going crazy."

Tom's brow furrowed. "Not one other woman in the whole area?" "Well there are set designers and other such women, but the construction guys, the ones that put the sets together, that's pretty male-orientated; not to mention I am the first woman a lot of them have worked within my role." She shrugged.

"Really?" "Yep." Tom pulled her into him. "That's my girl, breaking down barriers."

"Just wait til I am finished my study and get back my paperwork," She smiled. "Now, since I mentioned saucy already, there is Bolognese in the freezer, your one, you should just defrost some and give it to her."

"Why the Bolognese?" "Because you make a damn good one." Danielle smiled, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"What am I going to do without you?" Tom stated, looking at his smiling girlfriend. "Get on with it, it's about three days, a week at most." "Hey, there's a big difference between three and seven days," Tom pointed out.

"There is, but they won't say until we get there what is being reshot, so we can only hamper guesses and that's the best I can give. When I get there, I will be told what it is and can give you are a better idea of when I am back," she stated with a smile. "Sure, you are meeting Taffy and have the Graham Norton show so that's half the week gone alone," she explained.

"Then a small recess until hectic schedules again."

"Yes, being proper adults with responsibilities isn't always fun." Danielle agreed, "But I mean, the Kong premiere run is what, two weeks? We can handle that, right?" "Three, but yes, phone calls, texts, skype." "I am not skype sexing, I am saying that right here and now, people can hack that and the last thing I want is my hoo-hoo on the internet!"

Tom chuckled. "Agreed, that would not be advisable. So phone calls and texts then?" "Phone calls, texting while trying to have a bit of fun is not easy I would imagine." "No, it's not." Tom agreed, leading to a raised brow from Danielle, "I was far younger, and it was back before predictive text." Danielle erupted in laughter. "God I was tragic." Tom groaned as he joined in. "'Was'?" she jested. "Was that far younger, curly-haired Hiddles?"

"With obligatory oversized jeans and thinking I was cool." Danielle erupted in fresh peels of laughter. "God I have come so far."

"Thank fuck." She forced out between laughter. Insulted, Tom grabbed her and began to tickle her leading to Danielle falling onto the bed in laughter. "Stop!" "Are you saying you would not have had time for younger me?" Tom asked.

"God no, younger Danielle would probably have been in this same position, though probably with a bit more drinking and going out." Danielle smiled.

"Wait you used to drink more, what happened?" "Myself and a friend, we drank a whole bottle of vodka between us one night," Tom winced. "It was the last time I did that." She nodded.

"How old were you?" "Nineteen, maybe twenty. Before that, I went out to nightclubs, drank my weight in alcohol and eating dodgy takeaway like every other youth." "Young, irresponsible Danielle, I would love to have seen that."

"And you?" "I don't think people realise how much alcohol a bunch of lads on a rugby team can drink." "Weren't you on the rugby team when you were in Eton, underage?" Tom shrugged. "Bold boy." "Then the Drama society in college, it wasn't a day if we weren't drinking it was a day wasted in some of their opinions." "But you ran the London Marathon back then, didn't you?" "Jesus, that was the hardest day of my life." Tom groaned. "Wait, didn't you say before you were going to do an IronMan?"

"Was." "What happened?"

"Work, I can't dedicate as much time to it now." "So you have given it up?" "What, no. I just have to wait for this to heal so I can cycle and swim, not to mention the weather is crappy, but I have found a pool to train in. The cycling is harder, there are a few places, but the city is far harder to navigate with all the traffic." She stated, holding up her hand.

Tom smiled in relief. "I thought you had given up something you love."

"Nah, not going to happen. I mean, I won't get to an IronMan for a while, but I am not after giving up. I am just a bit busier now, but it is short term, I want to get this all under my belt first." turning slightly, she gave the bed sheet a small smell. "I may need to give these a wash before I go, it stinks of my deodorant." "Don't, leave them as they are," she looked at Tom. "This is odd for me, being the one left at home." "It's only for a few days, you'll be abandoning me for longer." She smiled, toying with his hair.

Tom moved around so he was over her, smiling down at her. "I know, I am sorry, I wish I had a regular job." "I don't, you are incredible at what you do and you love it. I am so happy you get to do what you love so much, and if it means that for a few weeks here and there, I have to wait at home, or even skype or call you from wherever I am, I am okay with that." Tom leant down and kissed her. "My flight is in a few hours." she reminded him.

"Are you packed?" "Mmhmm." "Well then, I am going to ensure you go well satisfied," Tom swore as he leant to kiss her again.

Tom - Well, that went well.

Danielle - Done and dusted?

Tom - Yes, I went to speak to her at the hotel today, clear up some of the points that may not have been as clear as I wanted them to be.

Danielle - Good stuff.

Tom - How is work?

Danielle - Fine, cold, wet, dirty, but hey, that's why I signed up for, right?

Tom - Sadly there is good and bad. BTW good call on the Bolognese.

Danielle - Called it! No, seriously, it is lovely.

Tom - Minus the celery? :)

Danielle - what can I say, I'm not a fan.

Tom - duly noted.

Danielle - where did you eat the first night?

Tom - Can't say, you'll be mad.

Danielle - …..you went…..without me…..That's it, we're over, goodbye! Tom - Darling...

Danielle - You think you can grovel at my feet? Don't darling me!

Tom - We can go when you come back.

Danielle - I cannot believe you brought another woman there, I am heartbroken!

Tom - I'm sorry.

Danielle - Bite me!

Tom - If you keep acting like this, I might have to!

Danielle - …..really? You kinky fecker!

Tom - And I'm off the hook!

Danielle - so what else did you do?

Tom - Well, after she left last night, I watched Moonlight, as good as expected, but we did the interview yesterday, partly in Regents park, partly at the house.

Danielle - I haven't been there since New Years.

Tom - God it was gorgeous that day, the fog was so thick.

Danielle - We lost Mac about fourteen times in it! Tom - that only made it more fun.

Danielle - I suppose :)

Tom - So, now that you know what they are filming, do you know how long before you are home?

Danielle - My flight is booked for Friday, should be in about half seven to Gatwick.

Tom - Three more days? :(

Danielle - I know, it is almost done putting it together, I have to sign off on it in the morning, then film all tomorrow and Thursday, back Friday.

Tom - I'm collecting you from the airport.

Danielle - Well you have then time :) I'll make a deal with you, we will spend all of Saturday doing what you want?

Tom - So not leaving bed then?

Danielle - If that's what you want.

Tom - Bed is horrible without you.

Danielle - only three more nights. Xx

Tom - Mac misses you too, by the way, he is barking at the stairs every morning for you.

Danielle - Please stop, I can't know that! Tom - It's just him and me, all alone, without you here, all alone.

Danielle - Feck you anyway!

Tom - You want to come home?

Danielle - I wasn't overly happy to leave in the first place.

Tom - you'll just have to rush back so.

Danielle - Aren't you supposed to be at the BBC?

Tom - I am there now.

Danielle - Good.

Danielle - I am being called to set now, enjoy and talk to you this evening, tell me everything then. Bye xxx

Tom - Let me know what time to ring you, have a lovely day. Xxx

Tom put his phone in his pocket and smiled at Danielle's pretend anger at him going out for food without her as well as her enthusiasm to return home soon before getting to his feet and readying to go on stage for the Graham Norton show again.

#I Hate You I Love You #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #chapter 75 #wolfpawn

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honeymoonjin · 5 years

Text

the daily grind - jjk oneshot

A/N - 2k word count. No warnings needed.

Jungkook would love to ask out the cute girl that always comes to the coffee shop. If only she would actually look up from her textbooks.

Every uni student and their grandma had done a stint at a coffee shop. Most did it for some work experience and easy cash, ditching the job as soon as they found one where they could spend the shift sitting down instead of being on their feet for six hours.

Jungkook was happy to say he was different. Yes, he was doing the same-old coffee shop gig, but he really loved his job and had no interest in doing anything else until he graduated. He liked the coffee making process, sure, but one of the best things about this particular café was their bottomless refills.

If you ordered a black coffee at the Daily Grind, you could pay an extra two dollars for bottomless refills, and Jungkook would just pop out from behind the bar whenever he got the chance to come top up the drink for you. It meant that the number of actually difficult, elaborate drinks went down, and the number of easy customers who just wanted to stay wired in the most efficient way went up.

For being only a five-minute walk off campus, very few other university students actually came to study. Most were too entranced by the Starbucks on campus by the library to even think about outsourcing their caffeine.

There was one regular, though.

Jungkook figured she probably wanted a little more peace and quiet to get her work done, as she always had a bulky backpack filled with textbooks and stapled papers and stationery that she’d rotate through for hours at a time.

Maybe if the café was a little busier, Jungkook wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about her. But as it was, she was one of the only regulars that came in the afternoons while he was working, and over time he learnt more about her than he ever would have expected from a strange customer.

She was probably at least a year or two above him at uni judging by the long, super scientific titles of her engineering textbooks, and he had heard from his friend Jimin, who’s boyfriend was in third-year engineering, that by the time you got to that point, the pressures of good grades were heightened to the max, as well as the importance of trying to apply for apprenticeships and internships at a good company to get your foot in the door.

The stress of that whole situation certainly seemed to apply to her. He was pretty sure he could count on one hand the number of times she had actually looked at him when he came over to fill up her cup. She was either on hyper-speed, scribbling out equations and punching away on a calculator, or she was staring blankly at the page, half-heartedly doodling on a napkin to try and keep her mind occupied. Every few minutes or so, she rubbed her eyes gingerly like she had allergies or something.

That was another thing he had taken notice of over the several weeks she had been coming here. Her cute little drawings. Sometimes they were little blueprint diagrams as she worked out problems, but most of the time they were of a different style entirely.

Jungkook prided himself on having a good eye for art, seeing as he was two years deep into a photography degree at the fine arts school within the university, and he knew that she had a real gift, even though this was clearly the only practice she was getting. An empty cup with some dregs at the bottom; a shoe sticking out from behind a booth wall, a hand clasped around a coffee plunger handle that looked remarkably like his own. When she couldn’t think straight, she’d start drawing things she saw in the café.

One day, Jungkook noticed if she ran out of napkins she’d stop altogether and switch to impatiently drumming her fingers on the table and huffing. From that day on, he’d always bring three or four extra napkins every time he came over to top up her coffee.

The guilty pleasure of working here, one he’d never admit to but couldn’t help from doing, was that every time she left, he would dart over to her table and grab all the napkins for himself before the table got cleared by the cashier.

Whenever he found himself in a rut, not knowing how to photograph something original, he would take out those napkins and look over her drawings. He liked the way she saw the world. She focused on the details but made them look larger than life, in a way.

He would tell himself at 4pm every day of work, as he was tying on his apron, that today would be the day he’d work up the courage to talk to her. He would create elaborate fantasies in his head, the way she smiled and blinked up at him as he spoke, like he was the only thing in the world to her. The way she would invite him to sit so that they could talk about their favorite classical artists and after his shift ended, she’d ask for his number.

But he could never do it. The pretty angles of her face would tense up with worry and stress the moment she opened up her hulking bag and dumped some more study material on the table. Her eyes never blinked up at him at all when he came over to her, and he didn’t even think she was aware of the extra effort he went to to provide her with drawing materials.

Jungkook just wasn’t headstrong enough to talk to her and risk a bad reaction. God, what if she got annoyed at him and left? What if she found another café where she wouldn’t be bothered and never came back?

He had gotten so used to seeing her four times a week while on duty that he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he messed that up.

So, he just refilled her coffees and kept giving her more napkins. Over time, as the middle of the semester approached, she was bringing more and more textbooks and practice papers, was typing more furiously into her calculator, and the soft, introspective lines of her napkin vignettes became aggressive chicken scratch of the ‘wet floor’ sign and the lines of electrical wires on the ceiling and her own massive calculator.

He had come to expect this dead-eyed, clenched-jaw version of her, and it came as a great shock to him when a man, still young but definitely older than Jungkook, opens the door to the café with a little bell jingle, and immediately paces over to the booth she’s tucked into, loudly proclaiming her name and sitting across from her.

To Jungkook’s complete surprise, it’s like the sun has risen inside the room. She looks up and beams at him, pushing the stack of work between them to one side.

As they chat back and forth like old friends, Jungkook can barely focus on the takeaway order he’s supposed to be making. Why did she never smile like that to him, even before things got so hectic? He suddenly had a desperate longing to have her look at him like that, even once. The way her eyes lit up as she listened to the guy wax poetic about his philosophy paper and scrunched up her nose a little when she told a joke. The light but hearty resonance of her laughter that pealed out through the shop periodically. All these things were completely new to Jungkook, but he knew he wanted more.

At one point, the man hops up and comes over to the counter. The cashier is on her break, so Jungkook takes the order.

“Could I please get a croissant and she’ll have a…caramel slice, please. Oh, and could I have a large chai latte? Thanks.”

Jungkook has to clear his throat to keep from freezing. Since when did she ever order anything else other than the one bottomless coffee? Was it a date? “Yeah, sure. That’s just twelve dollars, fifty cents.” The man pulls out a card to pay with, and as the order is processing, Jungkook can’t help himself. “You two are a cute couple,” he offers.

Thankfully, the man just laughs. “That’s nice of you to say, but we aren’t a couple. Old friends, actually.”

Jungkook nods and muffles his relieved grin, pulling out a takeaway cup. “Could I have a name for the drink, sir?”

“Namjoon.”

“That’ll just be a couple minutes away.”

The man sits back down and the two resume their lively conversation, but Jungkook tunes out, already planning what he can say to get the girl to smile at him the way she’s smiling now.

Jungkook doesn’t see the girl for five days. Of course, two of those days are a weekend, but she doesn’t come to the Daily Grind on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and he can’t help but be saddened by the lack of her presence. Shifts seem so much longer, and for today, a drizzly Thursday, he is not looking forward to going back there.

For the first time since the start of the year, almost twelve weeks ago, Jungkook finds himself on the main campus, tasked with borrowing a book from the library about contemporary lighting techniques. The waitlist was thirty students long, but finally it was his turn.

The online catalogue told him it was on the fourth floor, so stairs were most certainly not an option. He gets in on the second floor, but to his shock, someone familiar is already in there.

It’s the girl from the café. His heart races as he stands next to her, but she doesn’t react.

He clears his throat. “I, uh, I haven’t seen you drop by for a while?”

She starts at the sudden noise, her eyes blinking wildly as she looks him over. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Oh,” Jungkook sighs. “I guess you probably don’t recognize me. I’m the barista at the Daily Grind, I do most weeknights.”

Her face lights up, though her eyes are still a little glassy. “Oh, Jungkook, right?”

“Y- Yeah.” She knew his name? Then why the weird reaction?

“I’m so sorry, I lost a contact earlier today, so I’ve been wandering around like a zombie, trying not to bump into things.” She gives him a little laugh, and he’s struck by how different she is here than she’s ever been in the café. She’s acting almost as friendly as when that Namjoon dude came into the store.

“Have you, uh, have you found a new café to go to?” The elevator stops on the fourth floor, but he makes no move to get out, and the doors close again. “I haven’t seen you around recently.”

“Oh, no, no more bottomless coffees for me. I’ve been studying like crazy for the midterm for way too long, and now that it’s over, I think I need to give my body some time to filter out the percentage of caffeine in my veins. Thank you for giving me extra napkins, by the way. I’m sorry I go through them so quickly, nervous habit, you know?”

His heart beats so strongly in his ears it almost sounds like waves crashing. So, this whole time, she had noticed him. And she had kept on coming back. “You’re all finished with the midterm, then?”

More people file in to the elevator from the sixth floor, but she takes no notice, swiveling around so she’s facing him head-on. “Yeah, actually, I got it back this morning, and I managed to get an A-! Honestly, I have no idea how that happened, but I guess all the desperate cramming paid off.”

“That’s amazing,” he enthuses. The button she had pressed, floor eight, was steadily approaching. This was the chance he had spent way too long dreaming up. “You should celebrate all your hard work,” he begins, giving her a soft smile, “I know this great little café you might like.”

#bts oneshot #bts au #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook oneshot #jeongguk x reader #jeongguk fic #jeongguk oneshot

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bmwiid · 6 years

Text

Eric grinned as he took another sip of his coffee. Sure, you could say what you wanted about Providence and the cold weather that accompanied this time of year, but there was something so special about walking through the fall leaves, with the cold biting at his cheeks. He had checked his outfit in the mirror before he headed off to work and he personally thought that he looked cute as hell with his new gloves and a long scarf thrown over one shoulder - he should have been wearing the hat the accompanied the set but he’d spent too long on his hair that morning to arrive at the office with hat-head. No thank you.

As he walked, the wind, brisk but not bitter - not yet anyway - tossed gold and bronze leaves across the street from the park. With his pumpkin spice coffee and his super cute outfit, he felt like he was in an elaborate stage, a movie where he was front and center. It made him smile to himself as he walked with a little more confidence, the idea seeping into his muscles.

He’d taken the bus from his terrible apartment to the stop by the coffee shop just so he could get his morning fix before walking the rest of the way into the busier area where he worked. The park on the other side of the road was always busy in the morning, joggers and moms with strollers and people with pets always seemed to be making the most of the open space and quaint tree lined paths. It was one of the reasons that Eric hadn’t tried to head off to a larger city when he’d graduated - the way that Providence still managed to feel picturesque despite its large population.

Maybe (definitely) he wasn’t paying enough attention to where he was walking as he made his way down the street, eyes drifting over to the joggers and dog walkers on the other wide of the street. However, in his defense, the guy getting out of the car was also not paying enough attention to his surroundings either.

They collided with just enough force to have Eric bouncing back on his feet, but not enough for him to spill his coffee - which was just as well, he was only half way though and had a long day ahead of him where he’d need every drop of caffeine that he could get.

The man had started to reach out to stop him from falling but had stalled when it was clear that Eric wasn’t going to either land on his butt or spill his coffee, his hand kind of awkwardly hovering in the air between them.

He looked familiar. So familiar in fact, that Eric had a slight panic when he could not for the life of himself remember what the man was called. Had he spent so long in a big city that he’d become one of those people who forgot the names of people he knew?

“Well hello!” He managed, after a moment too long as he tried to remember where he’d met this man before. He was tall - so much taller than Eric - with a shot of dark hair and large, sad blue eyes that drooped down at the edges. Eric wracked his mind for some clues as to where he knew this man from but was coming up blanks. “So sorry about that, I really should pay more attention to where I’m walking.” He grinned, hoping that the dark headed man might laugh and give Eric a few moments to remember.

“Ah, no. It’s okay.” He said instead, oddly serious for first thing in the morning. He had an accent that Eric just could not place.

“No harm done though!” Eric said, lifting his coffee a little. “Lord knows what I’d have done if I’d lost my coffee this early in the morning.” He paused, looking the man over quickly. “You know how I get!” He laughed, taking a sip. Good lord, he should be able to remember this guys name!

“Ha ha, yeah.” Sad eyes said, giving a small smile that seemed a little shy. He was tall, well built - enough that Eric walking directly into him didn’t so much as make him blink - and Eric was quickly trying to put two and two together.

“How have you been looking after yourself?” He said, with what he hoped was a welcoming smile, only to have the taller man draw back a little, eyes narrowing.

“Fine?” He said in a voice that made Eric think that he wasn’t exactly sure of the correct way to answer.

“Oh, glad to hear it!” He said, with a smile. “It’s been so hectic recently - can you believe it’s almost December? It feels like only last week it was summer and now it’s pumpkin spice season!” He grinned and took a sip of his coffee. “Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“Pumpkin spice?” The man (good Lord, Eric was never going to forgive himself if he couldn’t remember this guys name! Where did he know him from? Work? School?) said, glancing at the coffee cup in Eric's hand again.

“Oh don’t you dare try to chirp me over my coffee choices, sir.” Eric laughed, “I will fight you, and I might be small but don’t think I won’t crush you.”

The sad blue eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled and Eric got a sudden shock of just knowing that he wasn’t the kind of man who smiled a lot. “Oh, I don’t doubt it.” He said, voice dry. “I consider myself well warned.”

“Darn right.” Eric said, before remembering that he was going to be late for work if he didn’t haul ass right now. “Well, it was great to see you again!” He said, bright and cheerful, “But I’ll get my butt fired if I’m late for the second time this week.”

“You’d better get moving then.” The tall man said, with a smirk. “I’ll see you around, Eric.”

“Yup, you too!” Eric said, and cursed himself all the way down the street. He wasn’t paying attention to the bus that passed, with a blue and yellow banner advertising the local hockey team, a man with sad blue eyes blazoned on the side as it drove by.

Jack picked up his mail and stuffed it into the side of his duffel as he thought about the small blond man who had walked into him on the street. It was obvious that he recognized Jack, but just couldn’t seem to place where he knew him from - and just assumed that they had known one another. Honestly, it didn’t often happen, and Jack had found it a little funny. He probably shouldn’t have called him Eric though - the name on the side of the cup that he’d been holding, but honestly it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Especially since it made the shorter man look even more frustrated at not being able to place Jack at all.

Jack had stood and watched him go down the street, moving a little faster after obviously remembering that he was late - and thought for a moment that he’d notice the bus that drove by him, but no - Eric (a name that suited him, in a weird way) didn’t so much as glance at it as he hurried around the corner and out of sight.

#zimbits #check please #omgcp #fanfiction #writing

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broomballkraken · 5 years

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Title: Here In Your Arms

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Pairing: Sylvain/Lorenz

Word count: 1421

Warnings: Rated M for suggestive banter, naked cuddles, and implied sexual content

Summary: The new Margrave Gautier and Count Gloucester were busy men, so early mornings were a small window in their hectic schedules where they could just enjoy each other’s company, even with Lorenz’s many complaints about being late. Sylvain didn’t care as much, as holding the love of his life in his arms was more important than any boring political nonsense.

Written for @ferarepair-week 2019 Day 5, Prompt: Cozy

Leading a noble house was a daunting responsibility, Sylvain was well aware by now, and it was even more so when his husband had his own separate territory to govern. Lorenz was just as busy as he was, maybe even busier due to the fact that he often had to make trips back and forth between Gautier and Gloucester territory to make sure everything was running smoothly. They never seemed to have enough time to themselves, so Sylvain relished in the early morning hours when he could relax with Lorenz tucked away against his chest.

Sylvain let out a content sigh as he slowly awoke from his deep slumber, his eyes cracking open to a wall of purple. A small smile crossed his face as he nuzzled his cheek against Lorenz’s perfect purple hair, his arms tightening around his husband as he pulled him flush against him. Sylvain glanced over Lorenz’s shoulder to gaze at his sleeping face, so beautiful and calm despite the constant stress he was under. Sylvain admired his dedication to his position as Count, but he really wished that Lorenz would relax more; it wasn’t good for his health to be stressed out all the time.

Lorenz shifted against Sylvain, groaning as he woke up, and Sylvain loosened his grip on him as he stretched out his long limbs. Sylvain placed a tender kiss on Lorenz’s shoulder, and a pair of amethyst eyes met his brown. Lorenz rolled over, gently cupping Sylvain’s face as he ran his thumb over his cheek.

“My darling, I swear you get more and more handsome every morning.” Lorenz whispered, placing a light kiss on Sylvain’s lips.

“Heh, you think so? That goes double for you then.” Sylvain said, earning a laugh from Lorenz as he pulled Sylvain into a loving embrace.

“Careful, my dear. I would not want you to inflate my ego too much.”

“Ha! It’s way too late for that, Lorenz.” Sylvain laughed as he held up his arms to block the pillow that Lorenz tried to smack him with, and Lorenz’s laughter joined his own as they wrestled each other on the bed, resulting in Lorenz rolling on top of Sylvain and pinning his arms to the bed.

“Oh no, I’m at the mercy of the strict and intimidating Count Gloucester. Please be gentle with your punishment, sir.” Sylvain pleaded, his eyebrows wagging suggestively. Lorenz rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaning down to place a light kiss on Sylvain’s lips.

“As much as I would love to punish you until you cannot walk straight, my dear Margrave Gautier, I fear that I need to get ready for the day.” Sylvain pouted when Lorenz released his arms and sat up on the edge of the bed, reaching over to the nightstand for his hair ribbon.

“Aw, you’re no fun…” Sylvain grumbled, flopping back onto his pillow. He turned his head and his eyes wandered over Lorenz’s bare back as he pulled his long, luscious hair up into a neat bun. The scars that criss crossed over his beautiful porcelain skin only enhanced his attractiveness, and the lean muscles of his arms and shoulders were those of someone well versed at handling a lance in combat.

“Do you like what you see, my dear?” Lorenz said as he glanced over his shoulder. Sylvain grinned as he rolled onto his side, propping himself onto his elbow.

“Always, babe. Don’t know how I got so lucky, getting to marry such a sexy, smart, and passionate man.” Sylvain snorted to suppress his laughter when Lorenz’s face flushed and he turned away.

“Must you always say such embarrassing things?” Lorenz grumbled, his hands falling from his hair when it was just how he wanted it. He moved to stand, but Sylvain’s hand shot out and he grabbed Lorenz’s wrist.

“C’mon, Lorenz, it’s still early. I don’t wanna let you go yet.” Sylvain whined, pouting as he tugged on Lorenz’s arm. Lorenz shook his head and tried to pull away, but Sylvain had a vice grip on his wrist.

“I really need to get going, Sylvain. You know that I am leaving for Gloucester territory tomorrow, and there are still many preparations to be made.”

“That’s exactly why you should stay in bed a little longer. I...always miss you terribly when you leave.” Sylvain said, his voice dropping to a whisper as he averted his gaze. Lorenz was silent for a moment, before he sighed deeply and nodded.

“Very well, just a little longer. You are lucky that you are so cute.” Lorenz smiled when Sylvain beamed at him, and he let Sylvain tug him back onto the bed and under the covers. Sylvain wrapped his arms around Lorenz and pulled him close, resting his head on Lorenz’s chest.

“Hehe, I knew you couldn’t resist me.” Sylvain teased, reaching up to untie the ribbon holding Lorenz’s hair in place. Lorenz let out an irritated huff as his hair tumbled down over his shoulders.

“Really? That was a perfect bun too.”

“Mmmm, but I can’t do this if your hair is tied up.” Sylvain said as he ran his fingers through Lorenz’s hair, from his scalp all the way to the ends. Lorenz sighed deeply and closed his eyes, a content hum rumbling through his chest. “I gotta say, your hair has really gotten long. I’m glad you haven’t cut it.”

“I was just thinking that it was getting too long. You really like it that much?” Lorenz said, raising an eyebrow at Sylvain as he ran a lazy hand over his back, causing Sylvain to shiver.

“Yeah, especially when you wear it in a bun. You look damn sexy like that. It gets me all kinds of hot and bothered.” Sylvain said, smirking as Lorenz rolled his eyes.

“Everything gets you hot and bothered, you horny degenerate.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain buried his face into Lorenz’s chest as he started laughing uncontrollably.

“You got me there, but are you really gonna complain about that?” Sylvain said between laughs as he rubbed his cheek against Lorenz’s chest.

“Not at all, but I will complain about this.” Lorenz said, wincing as he grabbed Sylvain’s chin and lifted his face from his chest. Sylvain glanced down and saw small red scratches left in his wake. “Your facial hair is irritating my flawless skin.”

“Hmm, I guess I have been neglecting shaving my face. I haven’t really had the time this week.” Sylvain said, shrugging as Lorenz let go of his face, allowing Sylvain to nuzzle his neck.

“It...is not so bad.” Lorenz said, reaching over to cup Sylvain’s face and run his thumb over the scratchy orange stubble. “I daresay, it does give you a rather...ruggedly handsome look. I am most curious to see what you would look like with a full beard.”

“Wow, you actually want me to grow it out? I thought you hated facial hair?” Sylvain said, raising an eyebrow at his husband’s surprising statement.

“I hate facial hair on myself, yes. I feel like I could not pull off the look. You, however, would most certainly look quite dashing.”

“Yeah, you’d probably look pretty weird. Weirder than normal, anyway.”

“You are a rude bastard, you know.” Sylvain laughed as Lorenz grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the bed as he rolled on top of him. Sylvain leaned up and placed a kiss on the tip of Lorenz’s nose, and he grinned when a dusting of pink appeared high on Lorenz’s cheeks.

“Yeah, I know.” Sylvain said, licking his lips when his eyes locked with Lorenz’s. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Hmm, maybe I will have to issue that punishment from earlier after all.” Lorenz growled low in his throat, leaning down to nip at Sylvain’s neck. Sylvain shivered and bit his lip to stifle a groan.

“P-Please do, babe. I’ll gladly take any kind of punishment from you.” Sylvain breathed, gulping when Lorenz cupped his face and moved to brush his nose against his own.

“Well, how could I refuse a request like that from the love of my life? Very well, my darling, I will make sure your punishment is well suited for your crimes.” Lorenz whispered, and his lips captured Sylvain’s in a heated kiss, one that Sylvain gladly reciprocated. The Count and Margrave would have to return to their duties all too soon, but right now, all they could think about was yet again proving to each other just how deep their love ran.

#ferarepairweek #fire emblem three houses #sylvain jose gautier #lorenz hellman gloucester #sylvain/lorenz #fanfiction #jade writes fanfiction #sylrenz

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beneaththetangles · 5 years

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Ghibli Month Guest Post: When Hannah Was There

As we continue our month-long celebration of Studio Ghibli, we’re proud to present guest piece by Tonie, a close friend of the blog and frequent contributor through Facebook.

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“In this world, there’s an invisible magic circle. There’s an inside and an outside. Those people are inside of the circle. And I am outside.”

These are the protagonist Anna’s opening words in “When Marnie Was There,” and boy, how they resonated with me the first time I heard them! It’s always been a challenge for me to make close friends. Naturally, the moment I learned in 2015 that the great Studio Ghibli’s latest movie focused on a lonely girl forming a special connection with the titular Marnie, I knew I was in for a treat! When Marnie Was There enchanted me with its powerful and eloquent portrayal of true friendship, so much so that I began asking God to send me my own “Marnie.” As is often the case with God, His plans were a bit different than the dream I envisioned for myself. But as is always the case with God, what He had in store for me was much better!

Fast forward to April 13th, 2017. Funny how one day can completely change your life! I remember feeling particularly lonely that day. I’m ashamed to admit this now, but I had been seriously considering giving up on my petitions to God for a friend and resigning myself to being a “lone wolf.” A book I was reading at the time provided a daily “Act of Kindness” suggestion. I’m paraphrasing, but this day’s prompt was, “Reach out to a stranger today and give them a compliment.” I kept that thought in mind while reading a fanfiction story I happened across. It was such a cute story, and the author seemed like a very sweet person. An excellent target for my act of kindness! I sent her a PM telling them how much I had enjoyed what she wrote. The response was quick. She was flattered by the compliment, and the PM became a warm, pleasant conversation. A friendship was born!

Upon meeting Anna in the film, Marnie decides that their relationship should remain a “precious secret” from everyone else. “There’s all sorts of things I want to know about you. But, I don’t wish to find out too fast. Let’s take it slow as we go along,” she suggests. And so it was with me and my new online pen pal, a young college student named Hannah! We learned about each other gradually through fascinating discussions. Though we lived on opposite sides of the country, we bonded immediately and deeply. We discovered that we had a great deal in common, such as a love of writing and psychology, and similarly introverted dispositions. Best of all, we were both devout Christians! Hannah let me know how wonderful it was to talk to a kindred spirit. Befriending her classmates was hard, in part because many of them were somewhat hostile toward Christianity and faith in general. And she said that she hadn’t mentioned me to anyone in her life, for it was so fun having a “secret friend.”

It soon struck me that Hannah did indeed resemble my “dream friend” in the vein of When Marnie Was There, but not in the way I’d presumed she would. Anna was Hannah’s “fictional twin” far more than she had ever been mine. Both girls were artists, for one thing, and fine ones at that. There was a bit of a physical resemblance, too, as their eyes were a pretty, unique shade of blue. Mainly, Hannah was deeply shy and had been struggling with bouts of depression since she was 12-years-old, but had been happier and more outgoing in her younger years. These lingering issues often crippled her ability to reach out to people. We learn early on in the film that 12-year-old Anna was once more expressive and had only recently grown moody and withdrawn.

Like I said, our God is full of surprises! It became clear that Hannah needed me more than I needed Hannah. She mentioned again and again how much she appreciated my unwavering faith in Jesus, which was stronger than her own. I spoke candidly about my experiences with anxiety and isolation throughout my life, and she said that my commitment to optimism was so inspiring. Hannah considered me a mentor, so she told me, and she would ask for my perspective on various issues. She was like a sister to me, my little Anna, and I was her Marnie. Our anime counterparts even had oddly similar names, Tonie and Marnie, Hannah and Anna! In the film, Anna admires Marnie’s deftness at rowing the boat when the girls are on the lake together. “You are much better at rowing than I am,” she remarks. “Anybody can do it,” Marnie smiles, proceeding to teach Anna how to row by herself. Likewise, I was helping Hannah to (g)row in her faith and step outside of her comfort zone.

Of course, friendship is a two-way street, and Hannah was one of the most understanding, empathetic, and sincere people I’ve ever met. I felt so comfortable confiding in her. In October of 2017, my mom and I were preparing a trip to Oregon by airplane. I had what I’m convinced was a precognitive dream before we left, wherein God told me to get on board without taking the mild sedative I used for plane rides. Traveling had triggered panic attacks in the past, I told Hannah, and the thought of riding a plane unassisted by something like that was a scary one. My friend was so encouraging! She urged me to take the leap of faith. She even drew a picture of me as a superhero to calm my nerves. I was so touched. I’d never been drawn before! My faith, combined with support from my precious friend, gave me the courage to do something I’m certain I couldn’t have accomplished alone. The plane rides to and from Oregon went perfectly well! I told Hannah as much when I came home. I’d conquered my anxiety, and she was so proud of me. During one tender scene in When Marnie Was There, Anna helps Marnie overcome her fear of the spooky, allegedly haunted local silo. “I don’t want anybody making fun of me, but I haven’t the courage,” Marnie whimpers. “You have courage! Look, you came up here,” Anna assures her. “You did well, Marnie. Real well.”

Time passed, and by late 2018, Hannah and I had only been talking about once a month for the past few months. She’d been increasingly engrossed in her hectic college life. It seemed as though we were beginning to grow apart, and I kindly asked if she felt the same way. She did, and I admitted that I had sensed God telling me when we met that our friendship would be wonderful but temporary. “I can’t promise anymore that I’ll be around to talk whenever you need me,” Hannah said. “My life is most likely only going to get busier. And you deserve so much better than that. You deserve a friend who will always be there.” Thus, we lovingly bid one another farewell in April of this year. I managed to send my final message to Hannah on the 13th, exactly two years since the day we met. That felt so poetic! We agreed that we couldn’t wait to meet face-to-face in Heaven someday. We thanked each other profusely for our friendship. She insisted that I never worry about her again, for I had changed her life. Her depression was gone, her faith in Jesus was stronger than ever, and she had recently made a new, younger friend whom she’d begun to mentor, just like I had mentored Hannah. She had even gotten a role in her high school’s production of “Newsies” and was learning to tap dance. Dancing was great fun!! In yet another beautiful scene, Anna joins Marnie at a party disguised as a flower girl. Marnie helps her bashful friend come out of her shell by dancing with her.

Near the end of the movie, Marnie tells Anna that she cannot stay with her any longer, and the two girls share a tearful, poignant goodbye. During the climax, Marnie’s true identity is revealed. She was the ghost of Anna’s grandmother as a little girl! “I have overcome many frightening things in life,” the elderly Marnie coos to baby Anna in a flashback sequence. “And Anna, so will you. After all, you’re my only grandchild. And you have my love now and forever.” Anna weeps openly, but she’s found perfect peace.

Strange as it may sound, this, too, has meaning for me! Hannah had told me that her battle with depression began when her beloved grandmother died. I believe that, by God’s grace and in a tiny, humble way, I was able to bring Hannah’s grandmother back to her in wisdom and love. To reunite her with her genuine self. If she were here with me now, I think she’d agree that she found her own “precious secret” in me. I know I found my own “flower girl” who needed a little help blossoming. Eerily enough, the Japanese word for “flower” is, in fact, “hana.” And, just perhaps, I also inspired mine to dance.

I will carry the lessons from this relationship with me wherever I go! First and foremost, that if you wish to avoid misunderstandings, it’s crucial for one’s hopes and dreams to be aligned with God’s will, not the other way around (Thankfully, the surprises in this case were all pleasant!). That no matter how isolated one feels, nobody should resign themselves to being a “lone wolf.” It’s not Biblical, and God is constantly working behind the scenes. Valuable things often take time, but they’re well worth the wait. After all, if I met Hannah at a different point, I don’t think that my friendship would have made as deep an impact on her life. That the best of friends bring out the best in oneself! I had anticipated finding the Marnie to my Anna when I was destined to be someone else’s Marnie. I know now that my faith is stronger than most and that my naturally cheerful disposition is a real miracle. A childhood friend of Marnie’s tells Anna that Marnie “had a lonely life, but she always lived it to the fullest. She lived life with a smile, determined to be happy.” I never required any help in that area. God had been providing me with everything all along. And I know that I can be a great mentor to a friend in need. Would I have ever discovered these truths on my own? I highly doubt it. Hannah provided me with the objectivity I needed to gain a more nuanced, well-rounded view of myself, as I believe only she could have done.

Finally, the memories of our friendship are a reminder of the importance of never underestimating one’s contribution to this world! Every single decision we make affects something or someone, whether we see it or not. Hannah and I were both firm believers in the Butterfly Effect! I will eternally be in awe of the fact that my journey with her began with a random act of kindness, with a fanfiction story and a few sweet words.

I know we won’t understand everything until we get to Heaven. We need to wait a lifetime to see all the differences we’ve made here on Earth. But for however short a time, I did see the change I was making in one remarkable young lady’s life. Over the course of two incredible years and many conversations, I watched my friend evolve from a shy, anxious, depressed girl into a strong, cheerful Christian involved in her church and community and feeling very excited about the plans God had for her life! I told Hannah I would have rather had two years talking with her than fifty years with my old friends who hadn’t been half as good to me. She was confident that God would continue to fulfill every purpose He had for me so long as I continued to trust Him, and unlike poor Marnie, my story has a happier ending! I view my life as a blank canvas waiting to be filled with glorious possibilities. At a period when I’d nearly given up on my dreams, meeting Hannah made me positive that there are other best friends to be found if you never stop searching and always keep your heart receptive to whatever and whomever God brings your way. I will be forever beholden to her for that alone. And Hannah knows that she has my love now and forever.

My final request to Hannah as a friend was that she would please watch When Marnie Was There, the last, perfect platonic love letter I could send to her. She promised me that she would. Thank you, God and Studio Ghibli, for creating such a life-altering movie!

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Your friendly neighborhood Asper-girl, Tonie is an amateur writer, daydream believer, part-time cloud cuckoo lander and all-around Jesus freak! Be sure to follow her on Facebook.

When Marnie Was There is available for purchase on Amazon.

#Anime #Christianity #When Marnie Was There #Omoide no Marnie #Studio Ghibli #Friendship #Ghibli Month #Guest Posts #Articles #Author: Tonie

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alippy711 · 6 years

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Falling Away With You- Ch.25

Definitely rushed the ending because my aunts were flittering about cleaning up my grandparent house before everyone comes down. So I apologize. Oh there are a few guest appearances.

Also I think there are five more chapters left? I basically have it all written just need to break it up the right away. So enjoy

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Chapter Twenty-Five: July 3rd

“Matt said I could find you here”

His voice brought a smile to my lips pulling me from my trance as I watched the waves crashing on the shore. I turned to my right and was met with his bright smile and those adorable cheeks as he walked closer to me. I stood brushing the sand from my shorts and greeted him.

“Well if it isn’t Chuckie Bright Lights himself” His cheeks blushed as I walked into his open arms for a hug.

Hey Ash. it’s been too long, I missed you.”I nodded into his chest giving him one last squeeze before pulling away.

“Way too long, im glad you made it, where’s Ki?” I looked around him hoping to see Kiley somewhere on the beach.

“At your house, she ran into Addie and you know how those two are” I chuckled as he rolled his eyes, knowing exactly how they are.

“How was your run?” Charlie asked eyeing my running attire.

“Exactly what I needed this morning. Perfect way to detox before the copious amounts of alcohol I plan to consume in the next few days” He let out a deep laugh before looking out at the water.

“Don’t tell Kiley this, but I think I like Marshfield better than Duxbury, so far” I smiled looking around my perfect little beach. It was definitely showing off today with the tide out low letting the sand stretch out for what seemed like miles.

“Duxbury has its perks but Marshfield, specifically where we are, is great because it’s usually quiet. It will be low tide all day which is even better.” Charlie nodded as he listened to me ramble on about my favorite place before a silence fell over us. It wasn’t awkward, more so just both of us waiting for the other to bring up the elephant in the room. I sat back down in the sand nodding up at him to join me.

“How you holdin up?” Charlie asked nudging me with his shoulder.

“At this point it changes every day. I was a fucking wreck in the beginning.” I let out a light laugh. “But now it comes in waves. The busier I am the better. It’s when I have too much time on my hands that I get lost in my head.”

“Well you have enough people in your corner to help keep you busy all summer” He smiled softly and I returned it automatically. He shifted his eyes back towards the beach scanning the shore as people walked by us.

“Have you talked to him?”

“Not really. Texted him on his birthday then that opened up communication but it became too much. Told him we had to stop. What about you?” I asked looking over at him.

“We talked a little right after we left for Worlds. How do you feel about his choice? I hope you don’t think im on his side, I mean I basically met you both at the same time so I consider you both my good friends”

Oh sweet Charlie, what did this world do to deserve you?

“Aww Charlie you’re the sweetest.” I cooed nudging him as his cheeks flushed bright red.

“I appreciate you saying that. Im still not totally clear on why he needed time but if im being honest I think I needed it too.” I had yet to read the letter, still too nervous about my reaction to pull the trigger but I knew it needed to happen soon.

“How so?” I turned my focus back to Charlie as he pulled me back to the present.

“I didn’t realize how much of myself I lost in David. I was so wrapped up in his world that I forgot about mine. This has given me the opportunity to balance my life out again”

“That’s so important, especially when you’re with someone like us. Our lifestyle is so hectic it’s easy for our significant other to get wrapped up in our world. David always talked about how independent you are and how much he loved that. Im happy you’re working to get back to you.” I smiled over at him feeling my heart swell with his words.

“Damnit Charlie can you stop being so damn sweet? Thank you, I really needed that.” Charlie threw and arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him.

“Anytime Ash. I know you two will find your way back to one another.” If only David had as much sense at 22 that Charlie did at 20.

“Hey, you two done having your heart to heart? It’s time for some day drinking!” We turned towards the source of the voice and saw Kiley standing next to Addie holding two beers a piece.

“Welcome to July 3rd in Marshfield Chuckie! Buckle up kid.”

I managed to block out all the commotion around me and become lost in my thoughts watching the steam curl up from the middle of the hot tub dissolving into the cool evening air.

“How you feelin?” His voice pulled me from the stare off I was having and I tilted my head up to find him standing on the patio inches from the sunken hot tub.

“I have a really solid buzz going right now, so im fantastic” He laughed and I was easily distracted by his body as I watched him step down into the water finding a seat across from me. He leaned back against the tile, stretching out his legs propping them on either side of the bench I sat on, essentially blocking me in.

“Yet you’ve been sitting in the hot tub alone for a good 15 minutes” He eyed me trying to see through the smile I wore.

“Evan, im fine. Just taking a little break from the drinking games before I dive back in to achieve my end of the night drunk status.” The laugh he let out had me curling my toes beneath the water and I had to shift my body out of the water to alleviate some of the heat which was suddenly stifling.

“Just checking. Didn’t know if Charlie being here would stir anything up.” He pulled his arms from beneath the water draping them around the out outside tile of the pool patio and I was quickly lost in the muscles along his biceps. Fuck, I needed to get laid.

“Nah, im glad Chuckie is here. We had a really good talk earlier. Im in a good place when it comes to David, which means I don’t need you keeping an eye on me” I teased and he threw his hands up in mock surrender while he laughed.

“Hey im just tryin to help. You did tell me to help distract you because all the drinking would make the temptation to hit up David even stronger.” I pushed out a frustrated groan, knowing how right he was.

“Well then keep me distracted!” He laughed at the high pitch of my voice and I let out a laugh.

“Play beer pong with me, you’ve had enough of a break” He stood from the water, holding his hand out for to grab and my eyes fell to his chest as the water dripped down his body. I sucked in a breath and looked away, hoping he didn’t catch my reaction. Drinking and the hot tub were not a good mix for my overly turned on nerves. I was glad Evan showed up today I had a feeling he would be a good distraction for me.

I knew once Evan joined us all for Rose’s birthday a few weeks ago he would be back within my circle shortly. After that he started hanging out at our place more and we found ourselves in a familiar pattern, I enjoyed spending time with him again. I was dreading the first time we would see each other post break-up figuring he was waiting for an opportunity to say, I told you so, but he never did and I was thankful for that.

Two hours and a few beer pong wins later I was sufficiently drunk and about to do something kind of stupid. I successfully snuck out of Rose’s house without being noticed so here I was pulling up his contact hitting send on the call. It was late there and took a good three rings before he answered.

“Hello?” His voice was groggy with sleep and if it weren’t for the alcohol I probably would have felt bad for calling him at two in the morning.

“Willy!!” I called out loudly with a giggle.

“Ash? Are you ok?” The concern in his voice warmed me.

“Of course im ok! Im talking to my favorite Swede” He chuckled on the other end and I heard some shuffling before he finally spoke.

“Well I think someone is drunk” I giggled again.

“Yup. Been drinking for hours” I spoke dragging out each syllable in hours.

“Glad you’re enjoying your summer. To what do I owe this drunk dial?”

“Don’t be silly Willy, you know why im calling. Hey that rhymed!” He let out a deep laugh and I smiled wide picturing that beautiful smile of his.

“I mean word on the street is you’re single now, but I figured you would have called sooner rather than later to let me know.” The mock hurt behind his words had me rolling my eyes.

“Had to keep you waiting” I smiled as I continued to pace around my yard ignoring the sounds of my friends partying across the street.

“Ash, why did you call?” The seriousness in his tone had me sobering up and let out a sigh before answering.

“To keep myself from calling him. I miss him Willy. Charlie gave me no insight and I just-I just...need to know how he is? Fuck” I stumbled over my words as my throat tightened and I felt myself losing control of my emotions.

“Aw Ash, I hate hearing you like this.” I heard him push out a frustrated breath and I could picture him running a hand through his blonde hair. “And I hate that it was David who hurt you. I was shocked when he told me...” His words seemed to fade off and I pulled the phone away from my ear sucking in a deep breath to compose myself as I wandered across the street to the sea wall.

“You and me both” I let out a sarcastic laugh as I leaned against the cement staircase looking out at the dark ocean.

“We talked about everything when he was here a few weeks ago. He said he wrote you a letter not sure if you read it but that should help you understand where he’s coming from. He tries to be his usual fun loving self, but I can see through it. He’s struggling too Ash, but if im being honest he still needs more time. He needs to learn how to be a better person for you.”

I could feel the hot tears rolling down my cheek by the time Will finished talking. His words should have made me feel better, and they did, to a point. But it still hurt to hear one of his best friends say he still needs time.

“Thanks Willy, I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear. The longer we aren’t together the more I realize we both have to work on ourselves.” I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I turned to see Evan eyeing me suspiciously thinking I was talking to David. I shook my head no and turned away from him.

“See, you’ve always been the more mature one. I really think he will find his way back to you. He’s an idiot but he’s not that dumb” We both laughed and it warmed my heart to hear Willy’s laugh again.

“I mean you did say if he broke my heart you would fight him so I expect to see that next season”

“I can take him. I saw his fight with Girardi so I know his moves” I smiled at his words and turned back to Evan who was watching me intently.

“I guess I’ll let you get back to sleep now. Im glad I called you Willy. You may just turn into my go to when I have the urge to call David.”

“Im always here for you Ash. Im happy you called. I miss you”

“Miss you too Willy, sleep well”

“Thanks, go drink some more and have fun”

“Thought you could sneak away and I wouldn’t notice?” Evan raised an eyebrow as he attempted to scold me.

“Dude, I was out here a good ten minutes before you even found me” I smirked, leaning against the cool cement at the top of the stairs. He rolled his eyes taking a few steps towards me placing a hand on either side of me pinning me in the corner of the staircase.

“I assume that was William Nylander?” The proximity of his body to mine had my heart racing and my head going foggy making it difficult to speak so I simply nodded.

“You wanna talk about it?” His gaze was intense which only added to my heightened awareness of his presence and I shook my head again.

“What can I do to help?” I took in a deep breath and watched as his eyes fell to the rise and fall of my chest before looking back up at me as he took in the small smirk on my lips.

“Distract me” I flicked my tongue out wetting my lips smiling as his gaze dropped again and I felt his body press against mine.

“That I can definitely do” Before I was able to make a remark his lips were on mine in a fevered kiss. My body was so desperate for physical contact I felt my knees go weak, Evan caught on quickly slipping a thigh between me to hold me up. I sank my fingers into his hair as my tongue parted his lips as a moan escaped me. I was breathless when we pulled away as Evan ran a hand over my flushed cheeks and down my chest.

“Go grab a towel and meet me on the beach.” His eyes went wide with my words and I tilted my head up waiting for him to do something.

“Is that- I mean-are you sure?” I laughed as he stumbled over his words shaking my head.

“Yes Evan im sure. Im not that drunk I know what im doing, now hurry up before I change my mind.”

“Ok, yup be right back” He smirked before turning away, bolting down the street to follow my instructions.

I thought over my choice while Evan was gone and while I was still very much wrapped up in David I knew I needed to make the most of this break-up and one night stands were not my thing and I really wanted to know what Evan was working with.

#david pastrnak #david pastrnak imagine #david pastrnak fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey rpf #nhl imagine #nhl fic #guest appearances #charlie mcavoy #william nylander #falling away with you fic #I wanna be drunk like Ash

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lifeofnes · 6 years

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Wk 2

Ok so I was wrong. I think admitting that you are, quickly I might add, is a good habit for me to keep up. Not everything here is dripping with that peace. Well for clarity, life where my inay and tatay live-out in the boonies-is peaceful. It’s different when you aren't just on the farm, enjoying the fauna - when you aren't here just for the island hopping, enjoying a vacation. Outside of the bukid, it's MFin threat level midnight. Things are as busy if not busier than they are in the states. Oyo and I have been eating our way through Lipa’s gullyworks, and visiting family along the way. Some of whom he’s never met before. That’s not really surprising to me seeing as he’s a visitor too, albeit a more frequent one than me. What’s really taking me back is that most of them don’t really know or seem to care to know each other. Maybe it’s because i'm still part of the second generation. Most of the people i’m hanging out with are part of the third, and that gap to know each relative and how we’re related seems too tedious and uninteresting. Which makes me sad in a way that, I can't really explain fully. My cousin’s cousin's, the Marasigans, are close. LIKE REAL CLOSE. I thought I’d find that feeling here with the Mayors. That doesn’t seem to be the case, and so I get to finding out all the nitty gritty in my families stories. The time I have left here is a double edged sword working my my favor. Long enough to scratch past the surface of everyone's hospitality phase. And just brief enough to everyone that the time I have to spend with them is such a rare commodity they try to really get to know me and vice versa. Plus, being an outsider that hasn't known them adds to the level of candidness that they have with me. There aren’t expectations that are there as one who had known them growing up, going through their changes and turns in faith, world view, or beliefs. These stories filled with so many twists are so surprising, and when finally finished, are somehow so relatable, understandable. But again, with ridiculous plot details that they might be Teleserye worthy even. Two close siblings that both had strokes within weeks of each other. Both deciding to tell their respective families not to break the news for 6 months. Thinking that when they each found out, it would do the other harm enough to put them over the edge of life that was barely there. Newly wed husband, turned father, turned martyr leaving behind wife and child. Wives lost to cancer, new wives left due to cheating, old flames rekindled at the end of it. Abusive husbands concealed by hopeful wives. Sons ostracized by fathers for being gay, but accepted by other family. Running from gangs, getting basketball scholarships, dreams on pause due to children. Every scenario, every a, b, and c movie plot you could think of and then some. Relationships are messy and strained no matter where you are on the map. The human heart is complicated and difficult to suss out. Stories and stories and stories stacked up like a rainbow. Coloring what would be an otherwise gray-scale life. Hurt and joy and pain and reunion all here in even fuller effect than what I would expect. Than what I’ve come to experience in the comfortable pocket of my world at the beach. Those rose colored glasses that I saw only peace with start to change hue. That same peace I felt those first 2 days here is so easily snatched as inay gets hospitalized after turning purple and passing out. I'm reminded that peace can’t solely be defined by physical location or surrounding circumstance. Peace is something that preeminently begins within yourself. Between you and your god. That fact is so obvious to me now that I'm staring at her in a hospital bed. She seems at ease. Like pneumonia isn't a big deal for geriatrics. Like Parkinson's is reversible. And maybe it's this prideful, 'don't want to worry my family' attitude she's putting on display. That same attitude so many of my relatives put on for their own households, but she seems strong. I believe her. She's at peace. I can see it in her eyes as clearly as I see how weak she is to lift her legs, & the trembling in her hands. Those steady hands that raised me, now quivering to hold on to mine. I hold back a tear. I look at her face. She smiles. I thank God. She asks “Na kain ka na?” and the dishes she cooked for me as a child come flooding back to my mind. Tinola, with the overcooked chicken. Tulingan with gata that I never appreciated until recently. The buckets of spam, eggs, and corned beef. All the love and desperation to make sure I had enough to eat. The love. The love. The love. It’s what made the food so good. It’s what transcended it beyond daily sustenance. Now worked into a space that makes sense of the struggle that inay and so much of my family has fought through. Food is their medium for care, for compassion, for community. Their translation dictionary when communication is cut short. Their tether to peace in the midst of this hectic life. I’m so grateful that I get to share in that. So peace to you and yours.

#alloranes

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Until the Flavor's Gone (8/?) (Biadore) - Kitschy Pixel

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the delay in updates. I ended up getting distracted so I didn’t do any writing the week before last, and then this chapter decided to get tricky on me. Heads up though, I will be starting a new job soon that has a more varied schedule than what I have now, so updates might be less frequent until I can get into the groove of the whole thing.

In this chapter, Danny and Shane have a talk, we get a bit more background on Shane and Roy’s friendship, and Danny and Roy have to say goodbye – for now.

Usual language warnings apply, with added implied past potential Bitney (but not exactly?), and very casual, adult conversations about relationships without jealousy (no really - it’s true!).

Chapter Eight

With a lot of difficulty, and after every single excuse had been exhausted, Roy finally managed to leave the hotel room with the promise that they would have dinner later that night (which he had every intention to keep). He trotted down the hotel hallway wearing yesterday’s clothes, sunglasses, and a smile when he, quite predictably, crossed paths with a returning Shane.

“Nice sex hair,” Shane grinned, reaching out to ruffle it even more.

Roy just smirked and gestured to the rather unique way the blonde’s hair stuck out in an odd manner before remarking “I could say the same for you.”

Shane offered no commentary on his own evening aside from a shrug and smile before he tilted his head, “So where are you creeping off to? Figured you’d have a bit more ‘catching up’ to do.” Shane’s exaggerated use of air quotes earned him an eye roll that he couldn’t see but could still sense.

“Sadly, I have to recover. And get a fresh pair of clothes before meeting up with some people.”

“May I suggest something to cover up all this?” Shane circled Roy once, waving his hand towards the number of hickeys and scratch marks that marred the other man’s neck and shoulders as he let out a low whistle. “You look like you got mauled.”

“And I’m thrilled. Here…” he held up the keycard he’d nicked from Danny’s jacket pocket before he’d left. He held it just out of Shane’s reach for a moment before adding, “Be nice to him.”

“I’m always nice to him and I’m insulted that you’d insinuate otherwise.”

Roy handed him the keycard and repeated, sincerely, “Be nice to him.”

“Of course.” Shane tapped the keycard to his chin as he offered up another wide smile, “I really do like this look on you.”

“Shut up.”

–––––––––––––––––––––

Danny whined from under the covers when Shane toppled on top of him.

“Oh this looks like such a comfy spot, I think I’ll sleep right here!”

“Get off me!” Danny groaned into the pillow, upsetting Shane from his place when he rolled over to the side. He glared at that beaming face and that chipper ‘morning, princess’ before snarling, “I hate you.”

“Strong words from someone who’s had their brains thoroughly fucked. Are you going to just lie naked in bed all day?”

“Yes.”

“Wrong answer. Up up up!” Danny fought for the duvet as Shane attempted to drag it off of him, until he ended up curled up at the foot of the bed with it wrapped around his waist and still glaring murder.

“I really fucking hate you.”

“Liar,” Shane grinned and shoved his wardrobe off the armchair and onto the floor so he could sit down, cross legged, with his fingers interlocked, and putting on his best look of judgement. Danny ignored him, keeping the duvet clutched around his waist as he rifled around the mess of clothing on the floor for something that was his. When he didn’t offer any kind of conversation, Shane got fidgety. “Come on, can you at least tell me if it was good or not?”

“It was great,” Danny remarked, albeit on the distracted side, “We made-out, fucked… he gives great head… aha!” he held up the shirt that Roy had stripped off him hours earlier in triumph before pulling it on. “I missed pretty much all of Mardi Gras, but …” he trailed before shooting Shane a genuine smile. “Thanks.”

Shane shrugged and beamed another bright smile, obviously proud of himself. “I do what I can.” Danny nodded, pushing his bangs from his face as he wandered to his bag to pull out a fresh pair of pants. The silence seemed to buzz with unspoken questions before finally, Danny spoke up.

“Why do you care?” Danny paused as he looked at his pants. “Hold on, I need to fucking shower. This conversation is to be continued!”

Shane had his answer ready by the time Danny emerged from the bathroom – damp hair and fresh clothes – and plopped himself back down at the foot of the bed, grabbing a directory for nearby places that delivered as he muttered that he was starving.

“I told you before that I wasn’t kidding that he liked you, and that hasn’t changed.”

“So you dragged my ass out on a three day road trip just for us to hook-up?”

“Call me a romantic!” Shane drawled before he giggled and shrugged, one shouldered this time, “And outrageously curious. Let’s say it was an experiment.”

Danny raised an eyebrow before he slid across the bed onto his stomach, grabbing a nearby pillow and pulling it under his chin. He stared at Shane inquisitively until finally he decided to start at the beginning, “So wait, how did you and Roy meet, again?”

“B… well, Roy… was helping out on this tiny production that I was in a few years ago. He knew people who knew the same people that knew people that I knew… kind of a chain of association thing. I guess he owed a favor to someone, so he agreed to head the costume department… which was essentially just him and anyone else he could teach to sew a straight line. So mostly him…” Shane waved it all off, “Anyway, that’s how we know each other.”

“And you ended up with his number…” Danny added. He was curious as to who Shane knew to even be cast in anything in New York and exactly how he knew them, but he needed to stay on one topic at a time. He perked a bit and his lips curled mischievously, “Did you two fuck or something?”

“Oh, God no…” Shane huffed out a sigh and held up a finger, “Okay, don’t… that didn’t come out right. I’m not going to deny that there was… maybe a bit of a spark that… led to a little bit of very light flirting… but Bianca is nothing but a professional and acted as such.”

“Meaning you wanted to, but never got the chance.”

“Basically,” Shane noticeably drooped. “Both of our schedules were incredibly hectic,” he paused for a beat as he seemed to suddenly recall an added bit of vital information, “And he was in the midst of a very complicated situation with an ex.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Shane’s face twisted in a grimace at the memory before he shook his head, “But it turned out to be for the best. At the time, I wasn’t planning to move to the States, he had a schedule busier than the one he has now, and as I mentioned before – complicated situation with his ex, which he never gave me details on so don’t even try asking.”

Danny nodded in understanding before he tilted his head, “So then why exchange numbers?”

“Oh, well, that didn’t actually happen until after I moved and got a new phone. We reconnected when he was visiting LA for… I can’t even remember what. Still cute, still a charming asshole, and this time with a steadier schedule of employment and completely single…”

“And you didn’t jump him?”

“No. Something had worn off by the time we met again and we just… ended up friends. But who knows? If we had ended up sharing a night of unbridled passion that first time around? I could have it as bad as you.” He over extended his arm and leaned forward to poke Danny on the nose with a light ‘boop’. Danny snapped at it playfully in response and tilted his head.

“So you’re living vicariously through me.”

“Oh, exactly,” Shane placed the back of his hand on his forehead in a dramatic fainting pose, “Reminiscing about the ‘one who got away’.” He snorted and shook his head as he snatched the list of restaurants from where it laid abandoned on the bed. “Nice use of the word ‘vicariously’ though…” He perused the options before they both managed to decide on something and got out his phone to make the order. “We were just worried about you, that’s all. And yeah, maybe it was a bit of an extreme measure but it was fun, so why the hell not?”

“It was just a dry spell. It’s not like I ran off to a convent and took a vow of celibacy.”

“Dry spell of your own making. I mean, I don’t expect you to jump into the arms of every guy who takes an interest in you but come on, Danny… we all saw you favoring your phone over a cute guy trying to flirt with you…”

Danny wanted to argue, wanted to say how untrue that was, wanted to make a huge scene about how wrong Shane (and everyone else) was – but rolling back through (what he could remember of) the last nine months he realized what little ground he could stand on was slipping out from beneath his feet like rapidly moving sand. So he stayed silent, only speaking up with his order, until Shane was off the phone and finally asked the question of the morning.

“So what are you doing now?”

So far, Danny hadn’t thought past having dinner – something resembling an actual date – but he had a feeling that Shane was searching for a bit of a deeper answer than that. Sadly, he didn’t really have one. He stalled with a shrug, and when that didn’t prove enough, he settled on what he knew.

“We’re having dinner tonight, he leaves tomorrow, and we go back to living on opposite sides of the country, I guess”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Shane dramatically (as he did with most things) slumped into the chair with a long ‘why?’ for good measure. Danny, in turn, threw up his hands, “I don’t know what you expect me to do about it, man! I’ve gotta be an adult!”

“Then do the adult thing and don’t let the ‘what-if’ interfere with your actual life.”

Danny’s jaw dropped as he tried to counter with… something. Anything, really. Anything that wasn’t the weird strangled noise he was making right now. He finally managed to land a very cracked “I’m… not…” but the inflection lifted right at the last minute, making it sound like a question.

Shane just stared at Danny, that long lingering stare that said he was trying to break apart each and every piece of what Danny just said – anything Danny had said in the past forty-eight hours, the past week, the past nine months – from sentence to word to syllable, straight down to the core and between each line, before he finally just shrugged, threw up his hands and stood. “Fine. If you want to believe that so hard, then fine. I dragged you out here for some kind of closure so, fuck it.”

“You dragged me out here for a hook-up.”

“No. I dragged you out here because you needed to make a decision – either be with him or not be with him – you’ve made your choice. That’s closure.”

“I’m still going to be friends with him.”

“And I would never say that you shouldn’t be. It’s great. He’s a good friend to have. You can tell him that on this dinner of yours.”

“I plan to.”

“Great.”

Danny and Shane shared a long stare down with each other – Danny on the bed, on his knees, clutching at that pillow and Shane, standing over him and just waiting for everything to click into place.

“You don’t believe me!”

“Not a fucking word!”

–––––––––––––––––––––

Danny’s pre-lunch conversation with Shane weighed on his mind, all the way up to his dinner with Roy, even after the other man had arrived to walk him to their destination. The small talk was sparse, Danny’s eyes trailing to nothing as he spaced out. A nudge to his shoulder brought him back to the present, making him blink and look back to Roy with a weak smile.

“You gonna talk?”

“Sorry.”

“Mmm,” Roy hummed and nodded, “We’re both avoiding the inevitable, aren’t we?” When Danny didn’t immediately answer, Roy shoved his hands in his pockets, slowed his pace and proceeded to drive the conversation that neither of them really wanted to have out loud. “We’re going to have to have this talk, we can’t just keep putting it off.”

Danny sucked in a breath and nodded in agreement before they both stopped and moved off to the side. They leaned up against a wall, Roy with his shoulders back and hands in his pockets and Danny hunched forward with his arms crossed over his mid-section. They waited again, stalling for minutes, until it all cracked and everything Danny had been churning in his head fell from his mouth before he could start re-thinking it all for the millionth time.

“Okay… so first off, I want to just let you know that sex with you is so good…” he whined, earning him a laugh that helped thin out the tension that the silence had built up between them. He paused for another beat, hoping to slow his thundering heart before it burst and squeezed through his ears. “But not just that… I’ve really grown to like you… and…” He sniffed once, dropping his hand to his thigh, picking at the loose threads of the distressing on his jeans before he swallowed past the lump in his throat and shot a look to Roy, “… this just sucks.”

Roy nodded in agreement before he reached out and twined their fingers together, pulling Danny to him and wrapping his other arm around his shoulders, pressing his palm against the back of Danny’s neck. Danny curled into the hug, pressing his face to Roy’s shoulder and just taking in the smell of him. The warmth, the comfort, it helped him push forward.

“I don’t know what I want from you,” he whispered into Roy’s skin, feeling him nod in response. “And I can’t figure it out when you’re two-fucking-thousand miles away.”

Roy didn’t speak until their hug broke apart, Danny taking a step back and running his fingers across his eyes because he was definitely not crying. They fell back into their original positions, leaning against that wall as Roy conceded.

“I have a feeling this dinner we’ve planned isn’t going to do us a lot of favors…” he began before he got out his phone, mostly for something to fiddle with. He sucked in a breath, exhaled, before sucking in a second, holding it, and then breathing out slowly. “Sex with you isn’t so bad, either,” he smiled at Danny’s flat ‘gee thanks’. “And maybe it’s okay that you can’t figure out what you want from… what’s going on between us right now…” He gestured with his index finger between the two of them before unlocking his phone. “Because I really don’t know if I could… even offer much of anything, right now.”

Danny nodded in understanding before balling his hands into fists, “We’re saying goodbye, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we kind of are.”

“Texting still okay? I mean, as friends?”

Roy chuckled as he tilted his head, “Yeah, of course. You can always text or call me, you should know that by now. That offer still stands.”

Their hands came together again, squeezed, and then released. Roy asked Danny if he needed company heading back to his hotel. Danny declined. If Roy came back with him, there’d be too much temptation to make him stay.

So instead, they said their goodbyes and parted ways, hearts thrumming as they went separate directions. They walked back to their respective hotels, and locked themselves in for the night. Danny ordered a pizza and wallowed. Roy just tried to go to sleep to save himself the trouble. Both of them kept their phones in hand, contemplating and feeling like they needed to say one last parting word.

Neither of them did.

#bianca del rio #adore delano #courtney act #biadore #alternate meeting au #au #slow burn #tw crude language #kitschy pixel #rpdr fanfiction #submission #utfg #flavor #queen au

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