#life is seriously a big fat joke where all people do is pretend and all i become is envious

[dailyjournalsblog]

I do not want to talk highly about anything anymore. Not my friends, not my life, not my dreams

I just want to exist. Everything eventually disappoints and I hate looking stupid.

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[leossmoonn]

Temptation

masterlist

pairing - silas x forbes,fem!reader

type - fluffy smut, angst

note / request - “can i request a silas fic where the reader is Caroline's lil sis and Silas likes to annoy her, and he likes her a lot. Then Care and Damon are always into protective sibling modes where silas is around y/n. So one day they catch y/n making out w him, and then theres a lot of banter again” this was really fun to write! im not gonna rewrite background info lol so make sure to read the request. also the timeline of events is a little fuzzy so i apologise if i make a mistake. enjoy :)

summary - damon and caroline find you making out with the enemy, who just happens to be silas 

warnings / includes - language, sibling fighting, steamy make out, sexual tension heheh, you’re in your senior year of high school, suggestive

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Hello, doll face,” Silas greeted behind you.

You jumped at his voice, but quickly settled down. “Hey, Silas,” you said dully.

“Why the long face, princess?” Silas asked. 

“Because you’re here,” you said. “Oh, that’s so mean. You’ve hurt my feelings,” Silas pouted. 

“Well, I’m not supposed to be talking to you anyways,” you stated matter-of-factly. 

“Ugh, you are such a goody two shoes. It’s cute, but annoying. Why not break the rules? I know you want to,” Silas said, leaning over the top of the couch, his face going right next to your’s.

You inhaled deeply, your heart pounding against your chest. You were attracted to him, no doubt about that, but if you even considered shaking his hand, Caroline and Damon would kill you. And you definitely didn’t want that.

“I can read your mind, Y/n. I know you want to kiss me, so go ahead,” he whispered. 

You didn’t turn your head, but your eyes wandered to the left. You got a good view of his lips, which made butterflies flutter in your stomach. It was so tempting to close the gap between you two, but you knew better than that. You turned your head the other way, standing up from the couch. You packed up your school work, deciding to leave the Salvatore house and go to your own. 

You were at the Salvatore house because Damon had offered to help you with your history homework. You took the offer and you two had been studying for a few hours. He had left you for 30 minutes to go and get you two lunch. In those 30 minutes, Silas had wandered into the house, looking for you. 

You pulled out your phone, texting Damon to go to your house instead of back to his. 

“Where are ya going?” Silas asked. 

“Home,” you mumbled, keeping your head down and walking to the front door. 

Silas stood in front of the door, making you look up at him with an annoyed frown. 

“Please let me go,” you said. 

“No, I’d rather see you beg,” Silas smirked. You rolled your eyes. “Please. Damon is waiting for me at my house with food.”

“Oh! Well, why don’t I just go with you, then? I’d love to see Damon.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you chuckled. “Why not? I can just pretend to be his brother! I’ve fooled lots of people already,” Silas smiled. 

“I think Damon will notice. Especially if I’m there,” you said.  “I’ll just sneak in then,” Silas suggested. 

“No, Silas! I just want to go home alone. Leave me alone,” you said sternly, looking him straight in the eyes. You went to push him out of the way, but his hands grabbed ahold of your wrists. His strong grip made goosebumps rush up your forearms.

Silas couldn’t help but smirk. You rarely ever had outbursts. He thought it was incredibly sexy and cute when you put your foot down. Especially when it pertained to him. 

“You are so adorable when you’re mad. You're so small, too. I can’t help but not take you seriously,” Silas chuckled. 

Your eyes went wide and you opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You masked your embarrassment by groaning and running your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Just let me go! Please. I’m hungry and tired and really need to study for my test.”

“What is your test over, anyways? History? Cause if so, I could help you out. I bet I know more than Damon,” Silas said. 

“No thanks, bro, she’s all taken care of,” Damon said from behind Silas. 

“You tattled that I was here! So naughty of you,” Silas glared at you playfully. 

“Step out of the way, Silas. Otherwise I will snap your neck,” Damon sneered. 

Silas sighed. “Fine! I’m only obeying because I want to kiss you before I die.”

“Fat chance of that. C’mon, Y/n. I got you a burger and those onion rings you like,” Damon said.

“Thanks, Damon,” you smiled gratefully at him. 

“See you later, doll face!” Silas called out as you walked to your car. 

“I’m sorry about him. I should make you the owner of the house,” Damon said. 

You shrugged, “It’s alright. He would never actually hurt me.”

“Well, we don’t know that,” Damon said. 

“Yes, we do. Sure, he might threaten to kill me sometimes, but his liking for me trumps any chance of him killing me. I don’t fear him, he’s just extremely annoying,” you said, getting in your car.

“Agreed,” Damon said. 

You two drove to your house, eating lunch and studying for a few more hours. Caroline and Elena then came home, talking to you and Damon about a party at the Grill. 

“Can I come?” You asked. 

“Um, yeah, sure,” Caroline nodded. 

You smiled excitedly. You barley went to any of these parties. You usually were at home studying or hiding away in your house because Caroline and Damon were always worried for you, but Caroline figured that since she and Damon and everyone else would be there, they would be able to protect you. 

So you took a quick shower and got ready for the night. You put on ripped jeans and a black, spaghetti-strapped top with a jean jacket. You put on heeled boots and put on some silver jewellery, as well as lined your eyes with eyeliner and painted your lips red with lipstick.

“Oh, you look so cute!” Elena exclaimed as you walked out of your room. 

“Thanks, Elena,” you smiled at her. 

“No, go change,” Caroline said. “Why?” You frowned. 

“Because Silas could be there and that outfit would tempt him even more,” Damon explained. 

You rolled your eyes. “So when Klaus was here, Caroline could wear anything, but I guess since I’m younger and a human, I can’t? That’s so unfair.”

“She’s right, guys. I hate Silas as much as you two, but let her dress how she wants. We’ll be there to protect her. Plus, if Silas thinks she’s hot, then good for her. She is,” Elena agreed with you. 

You smiled at her. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” she smiled. 

“Ugh, fine! But no drinking, okay?” Caroline said. 

“Ay, ay captain,” you said. You four went out to Elena’s SUV, driving to the Grill. 

Loud music blasted into your ears as soon as you stepped inside. You smiled as you saw everything dancing and having the time of their life. 

“Shots?” Caroline suggested. 

“Hell yeah!” Elena squealed. 

“Iced tea for you, Y/n?” Caroline asked. “Yes, please,” you nodded. 

“Alright, you guys go to the pool table. I’ll be back,” Caroline said. 

“Where is Stefan?” You asked, looking around the bar and walking to the pool table that was conveniently empty. 

“Right here!” 

You turned around, smiling once you saw Stefan in a grey shirt, jeans, and his leather jacket. You went to hug him, but Damon stopped you. 

“Ah, ah, ah. How do we know it isn’t Silas?” Damon asked. 

Stefan rolled his eyes. He pulled out a blood bag from his pocket, taking it and drinking it quickly. 

“Alright, alright, we know it’s you. Cool it on the blood, brother. Don’t want to go into a bloodlust,” Damon said, taking the empty bag and throwing it in the trash. 

“Well, I don’t really know how else to prove I’m not Silas,” Stefan sighed. “Can I get that hug now?”

You smiled and nodded, wrapping your arms around him. 

Between everyone else, Damon and Stefan were your best friends. They were like the brothers you’ve never had, protecting you and teasing you whenever they felt like it was necessary. You hadn’t seen Stefan in a while since he was found in the safe, but you were glad to see he was okay. 

“Glad to see you’re okay, Stef,” you said, pulling back. 

“And I’m glad to see you haven’t fallen victim to my doppelgänger,” Stefan smiled. 

Caroline came back with shots, pleasantly surprised to see Stefan. 

“Stefan! You’re here! Oh, my God the whole gang is here!” She squealed, putting down the shots and engulfing Stefan is a big hug. 

“I’m excited to be here, too. This is the first time I’ve really gone out for fun. I hope nothing goes wrong,” Stefan joked. 

“Well, if any of you spot Silas, make sure to not let him get close to Y/n. We don’t know what he could do to her,” Caroline said.

You rolled your eyes at her concern, but didn’t say anything. You knew it would end up with you two arguing and that was the last thing anything wanted. Forbes were very controlling and heated when they got angry.

You took your tea and sipped on it as Damon downed the first shot. 

“Wait, are we playing in teams?” You asked. 

“Yeah, which one do you wanna be one? Damon and I’s?” Stefan asked. 

“Definitely yours,” you said. “Oh, what! You know I win all the time,” Damon said. 

“Yeah, but when you lose you get so mad. It’s hilarious,” you giggled.

“True, it is cute,” Elena smirked. 

Damon rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You two are so annoying.”

You smiled and played with your friends for a little while. It came to a time where everyone was too tipsy to where they could barely walk, so you were in charge of getting the drinks. Damon and Caroline, despite being pretty much drunk, stayed close behind you. 

“Hey, Matt,” you smiled at the boy working behind the bar. “Hey, Y/n! Let me guess, more shots and another iced tea?” He asked. 

“You guessed right,” you chuckled. 

“So, how is school?” He asked. 

“Pretty good. History is kicking my ass, per usual. It’s weird because I’m surrounded by history buffs,” you said. 

“Well, I know you have Damon helping you, but Stefan is a lot better at tutoring, in my opinion. I know he’s been having a rough time, though,” Matt said. 

“He has, which is why I should be your tutor,” Silas smirked next to you. 

You jumped slightly, surprised to see him there. You looked at him, seeing him wearing a dark navy shirt and jeans. Your eyes stared at his biceps and his strong, broad shoulders. Once you noticed him smirking at you, you looked back to the drinks Matt was filling. 

“Now I get the silent treatment? C’mon, not fair,” Silas whined.

“You shouldn’t be here, man,” Matt said. 

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about, it huh?” Silas taunted, looking at Matt with narrow, menacing eyes. 

Matt rolled his eyes, putting the tequila shots and your drink on a tray and handing them to you. 

“Thanks, Matt,” you smiled.

You took the tray, ready to turn around and walk away from Silas. He put his arm up, planning to grab your arm to stop you, but Caroline and Damon used their vamp speed to push him back. 

“Don’t you dare touch her,” Caroline sneered. Veins were circulating under her eyes and she bared her fangs. 

Silas smirked, not at all fazed. “Oh, please, I could kill both of you so fast, you couldn’t have chance to say bye to Y/n. Now, let me go, Damon.”

Damon’s grip on Silas’s arms tightened. “Not a chance. We’re going outside and I’m gonna make sure you are far away from here.”

Damon then took Silas to the exit, Silas looking back at you and giving you a wink. Caroline groaned in disgust and took the tray away from you. 

“You okay?” She asked. 

“I’m fine, Care! He wasn’t going to hurt me,” you glared at her. 

“You don’t know that! Why are you defending him? Doesn't he annoy you?” Caroline asked. 

“Yeah, he does,” you said, your voice trailing off at the end, alluding to something else.

Caroline stared at you intensely, gasping once she put the pieces together. “You… You like him? Ugh, why! He’s a monster.”

“I don’t like him! God, why is that always your first assumption?” You asked.

“Because you obviously are having physical reactions to him. We all see the way you look down in shyness when he flirts with you, and we can hear your heart racing. We just hoped you wouldn’t give in,” Caroline sighed. 

“I’m not! I don’t like him in any way, okay? Just because I defend someone doesn’t mean I automatically like them!”

“That’s what you always say! You need to get rid of those feelings, Y/n. He’s not a good person.”

You closed your eyes in frustration, sighing roughly. “I’m going to the bathroom to cool down. When I come out, you better not say anything else about me liking Silas.”

You spun on your heels, storming off to the bathroom. You washed your hands, putting them to your forehead to cool yourself down. 

“Feelings for Silas, please,” you scoffed to yourself. 

“She’s right. I know it, you know it. Everyone does.”

You looked in the mirror, jumping once you saw Silas behind you. You turned around quickly. 

“H-How did you get in here?” You asked.

“I knocked Damon out,” he shrugged. 

“What?! Is he okay?” You asked. “Yes, he’s fine. I know that you would hate me if I killed one of your friends,” he said.

You sighed, “I have to go. They’re waiting for me.” You went to the door, but Silas once again blocked the entrance. 

“You gotta be quicker, Y/n. Someday you might find yourself in real trouble,” Silas smiled down at you. 

“You are real trouble,” you retorted.

“Oh, we both know that’s not true. If I was then you’d be screaming for your life. But you’re just standing there, looking so incredibly kissable,” Silas said, shamelessly looking at your lips. 

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you looked down to hide your face. “No, I just don’t want to make a scene,” you mumbled. 

Silas put his hand on your chin, making your eyes meet his. “While that is true, you also having feelings for me.”

You stepped away from him, his hand falling to his side. “I don’t. You’re evil and cheated on your girlfriend. No girl wants to be with a guy like that.”

“Elena practically cheated on Stefan emotionally, you’re still friends with her,” Silas stated. 

You furrowed your brows, not sure what to say back. He was correct, but you knew that wasn’t the point. You needed to get out of there otherwise Caroline and Damon would freak out. 

Silas walked towards you slowly, like you were his prey that he was stalking. You turned around, not wanting to look at him. Silas grinned, seeing as his plan would work out even better now that you were facing the mirrors. 

He put his hand on your bare arm, dragging his fingertips up your skin. 

“I’m so glad you took off the leather jacket. Your outfit looks so much better without it,” he murmured. 

You immediately froze. Your eyes were glued to the two of you in the mirror. You watched as his hand went up to your shoulders, pressing down lightly on your muscles. 

“Shouldn’t you be running, Y/n?” Silas asked, moving. your hair out of the way so he could get a better view of your neck. 

You knew you should, but his touch felt so good. It weirdly calmed your nerves down, but also made you flustered as hell. You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to stay in this bathroom and let him take you. Silas smiled at your thoughts, lowering his lips down to your shoulder. 

“I can totally take you right here if you want,” he whispered, his lips making contact with your skin. 

You inhaled sharply, finding yourself stumbling back into his chest. His other arm went around your waist, holding you close to him.

“Your skin is so soft, doll face,” he said while kissing up your neck. 

You watched him in the mirror, your stomach doing flips. Your legs felt weak and heat gathered in between your thighs. You had honestly wanted to kiss him this whole time. You decided a few more minutes in the bathroom couldn’t hurt. 

So you turned around, crashing your lips onto his. Silas smiled as you kissed him, his hands trailing down to your legs. He lifted you up with ease, taking you to the sink and placing you on the counter. Your legs wrapped around his waist, your hands running themselves through his hair. 

“Silas,” you breathed out as you felt his hands on your thighs, going higher and higher. 

“You like that, princess?” He hummed, his fingers going higher until they reached your clothed entrance. He pulled away, grinning and looking you in the eyes. 

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, pulling his face close to yours roughly.

Your lips collided again, your heart and brain exploding. Kissing him felt like heaven.

Silas mirrored your neediness and put his hands on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. You pressed your chest up to him more, your hands going down from his head to the bottom of his shirt. You lifted it up, Silas pulling away so you could pull it off of him. You sat back and admired his abs and muscles, excitement growing in between your thighs. 

You dove down to his neck, kissing and sucking lightly. Your hands explored his chest, tracing along his prominate abs. Silas breathed heavily into your ear, groaning as you found his sweet spot. 

“Oh, Y/n,” he panted. 

You smirked against his skin. Before you could put your hands on his belt, the bathroom door burst open. You saw Caroline and Damon standing, eyes huge and mouths agape. 

“What the hell!” Caroline shrieked. 

Your eyes widened and you pushed Silas away from you, getting off the counter. 

“Really, Y/n? You pick him to make out with in the bathroom?” Damon groaned. 

“It is just happened,” you shrugged sheepishly. 

“Yeah, she’s a really good kisser,” Silas smirked. “I never would have expected it since she’s shy and all, but man, she is wil-”

“You shut the hell up. And you,” Caroline pointed to you. “Are going home. now.”

“He wasn’t hurting me, Care,” you said. 

Caroline looked at you two incredulously. “You’re making her say this! You pressured her, didn’t you!” She pointed to Silas. 

“He’s not! I was the one who kissed him first,” you admitted. “Yeah, but I helped a little,” Silas smirked. 

Caroline made her vampire face and lunged at Silas, to which Damon pulled her back. 

“Alright, blondie, why don’t you take Y/n home and I’ll deal with Silas, okay?” Damon said. 

Caroline huffed and nodded, grabbing you by the arm roughly. 

“We’ll continue another time, doll face!” Silas exclaimed. 

“No, you will not,” Damon glared.

————

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[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

You messed with my heart too long

A/N: I posted this anonymously on ao3, but I’m really proud of writing this so decided to post it on here as well. Please, please let me know what you think, it would mean the world to me. 

Summary: When Richie accidentally burns his food right at the same time as Eddie arrives home, he fears he's in for a verbal beat down. He's used to that thank to his ex-boyfriend, who mentally and emotionally abused him before Richie realized what he was doing to him. Once Eddie works out what is happening, he is quick to assure Richie he would never treat him in the same manner.

Warnings!: mental abuse, mentions of physical abuse and Bev’s abusive ex, Richie thinks Eddie going to react badly (he doesn’t but he still thinks about it) 

read on AO3

Richie, in all fairness, has never had any confidence in any way, shape or form. He’s not sure why that is. His mom and dad were good, loving parents that indulged into his secret little hobby’s, and when Richie at age 24, a fresh college drop-out, told his parents he was going to take a gamble and try to make it as a comedian, they supported him wholeheartedly. Of course, they were a little disappointed that he never got a degree in case things in the comedy field didn’t work out, but they were convinced of Richie’s talent. They were truly the best parents anyone could ever wish for, at least in Richie’s mind.

The losers were also nothing if not supportive towards him, though they had been long gone before Richie turned 24. They made fun of him sometimes, on the occasions where a joke ran too far or failed miserably, but they also made sure that Richie knew how much they adored him in reality.

Beside from getting scolded at every now and again by Eddie or Stan, about his hygiene or lack of self-awareness, they also never tried to change him to fit their wants. For some unknown, nonsensical reason, they liked Richie with his flaws and all.

Truly, Richie has no inkling as to where his insecurities came from, but he does know that he never let them stop him from doing anything when he was still friends with the losers. Quite the opposite even, if he got nervous about performing in front of his class, he would loudly ask to go first, laughing boisterously and slouching against the teachers desks, pretending like the activity wasn’t even a blip on his radar. When Henry’s taunt would hit a particular soft spot, and Richie felt the urge to sulk or mope, he’d double down on the thing Henry found annoying, and get a bloody nose for his troubles.

He fought hard to be ready to perform in front of people that weren’t the losers or his parents, and the losers departing from Derry just made that worse. With the losers, he felt confident enough to try and be himself, without them, he saw himself as useless in every sense. His very first live performance sucked, and in retrospect he’s really glad none of the losers were present because within five minutes of walking on the stage, he had forgotten his lines and threw up in full sight of the audience.

If his mother hadn’t persuaded him into trying again a few months later, and that one actually working out, Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier would have been buried before it began.

But that was before all the progress Richie made in all the years he’s been doing comedy. Despite having the occasional setback, he mostly outgrew throwing up before an act, and he could objectively look at himself in the mirror and conclude that he wasn’t the most hideous person the world had ever had the displeasure of seeing.

In fact, according to people on his twitter page, he was being described as hot and possessing a form of appeal that drew people in. He didn’t find himself good looking by any means, but there was a huge difference between hating everything about himself, and accepting that he was not as hideous as the beast from the Disney fairy tales he was a big fan of as a kid.

And then, in the prime of his mental health, he had met David, and every ounce of self-worth faltered like snow under the burning scorch of the sun. It only took five weeks for David to absolutely destroy the very thing Richie had toiled at for over twenty years.

David was his first boyfriend, who he met just shortly before his thirtieth birthday, and he took more than advantage of that. The first night they first laid eyes on each other, after one of Richie’s shows, David had walked up to him at a bar and promptly declared his show was absolute shit.

Normally Richie would feel hurt by these comments and would pretend to brush them off as if they were never uttered, but something about the way he said it caused Richie to laugh so hard he snorted part of his beer through his nose. It wasn’t until he saw Eddie with Bill and Mike at Jade the Orient ten years later, that his quarter fell. In the beginning, David had reminded him of Eddie. It wasn’t until much later that it became clear David’s intentions were not as innocents as Eddie’s.

Richie assumed the guy was pulling his pants, because who would dedicate their time to flat out insult someone they had never met, and so he had greeted him and bought him another beer. David wasn’t particularly funny, and he never laughed at Richie’s jokes throughout the night either, but he was very eloquent and could keep up with Richie’s conversation topics, though he always seemed to be able to turn and twist the subject so that it gave away another one of his qualities.

By the end of the night Richie never expected to hear from him again, and he was okay with that. His conversation partner had been interesting, but not to the point where Richie wanted to know everything about him or see him again.

David felt otherwise, as thanks to a mutual friend of theirs, he’d found Richie’s number, and when he texted him to ask him on a date, Richie had been too thrilled that someone was interested in him to containplat if he even wanted to go.

That same day the date took place, David had granted himself the title of boyfriend, and Richie went right along with him. They never officially verbally agreed to date, but they held hands and David slept over most nights then not, and his mother got so happy that she saw him with someone that things progressed naturally.

At first, Richie didn’t notice that David was influencing him in a negative way. He only had one close friend, Steve, who was simultaneously also his manager, and he constantly praised David for making Richie a changed man. Because Steve saw it as something positive, so did Richie.

His voice got progressively stiller, as David would ream at him multiple times a day that he was annoying everyone around them with his booming voice, and that he was an attention-seeker who would do anything to get the limelight on him. Richie practiced his voices less and less when David started to critic every aspect of them every time he would overhear him. It got worse once they started living together full time.

‘Hey Rich, no voices? Come on I want to know if you’ve improved over the years, let us hear it.’

He cut off all fatty foods when David glanced at his plate and grimaced, asking if he was really going to eat everything on the plate. He didn’t say it in so many words, but Richie could connect the dots that led him to believe David found him too fat. Lying became a sort of second nature to Richie, as he dared to eat a small pack of chips when David was away, and deluded him the next day by stating he hadn’t eaten any. Sometimes, at times where David thought Richie was away, he would observe him going through their trash to catch Richie in the lie. He’d fight tooth and nail to deny the accusation, and never admitted to it.

David complained just about everything Richie did, including the way he held his towel whilst drying the dishes, ‘For god sake Richie don’t rumple up, hold it in your palm and open it up so you can get to the surface more.’ When Richie tried to joke that David’s way didn’t necessarily mean the best way, he’d yelled that Richie was an ungrateful bastard and that if he had to do it his way because the way he was doing it was useless.

Useless, that was a word Richie learned to associate with himself as whatever he did would get dragged down by David, until there was barely any Richie left. Once again Richie began getting stage fright, worse than when he was a child, and on one evening David witnessed his total bomb of a show, and told Richie he had pretended he didn’t know him to the people watching. That hit so hard, the fact that someone was disgusted to be linked to him, that he stopped writing his own comedy and hired someone to do it for him.

There was so much negativity surrounding him and David, but when Richie tried to address his problems, David would make him seem like he was the one that was crazy. Like he was seeing things that were not there. David rolled his eyes and waved off any of Richie’s attempts to defend himself, but then denied doing it after the fact.

‘You’re a loser Richie, I can’t believe you’d be so stupid to take my ribs seriously. Aren’t you supposed to be a ‘comedian’? You’d think you’d know what’s a joke and what isn’t.’

A can of coke being set down too hard on their dinner table was enough to get David off of the couch, where he’d been watching football and ordering him around, and into the kitchen, striking a tirade that Richie was ruining their furniture with his fumbling. Richie was constantly on edge that he was doing something wrong - and he was according to David -. He avoided David as much as he could, but the latter would find something to fault him on regardless. Life had transformed into a prison cell.

Later Richie would scold himself for not leaving, but how could he? David manipulated him to the point Richie truly believed he was doing all of those things wrong, to the point where he was the one crying and begging for David’s forgiveness. He was gaslighted, manipulated and blackmailed at the same time, with gifts that weren’t a one-off after Dacid crossed a line too far, and they often contained a very expensive item that Richie had eagerly awaited for a long time. Richie felt like he owed it to David to stay, if only for all the money he had spent on him.

There were days Richie would get so furious he was prepared to scream back at David, to let his anger be set free and unleashed upon the one person who deserved it, but then David would show up with a gift out of the blue, or would grant him a loving caress, and Richie was gone for him again.

Not to mention that Richie’s self-esteem had sunk so low, he wasn’t ready to face a world without having David there to guide him along with things.

Barely five months before Mike’s earth shattering phone call, Richie ran out of all mental capacity to deal with the torment a moment longer, and packed his things, disappearing on a cold blistering night. David called him, of course, but Richie was a coward, and never answered the phone.

He only sent David one text to tell him it was over, and then promptly blocked his number without waiting for a response. He heard from gossip that David spread lies about him, and told other people about how much of a terrible boyfriend he had been, but Richie never objected to the claims. He agreed with him anyway.

Mike’s call had been, for a large proportion anyway, a saving grace. Reconnecting with his best friends and destroying the thing that loomed over him for so long was liberating, and Richie viciously wished that Pennywise had come back sooner, so that his tortures road would have been that much shorter.

There was no lingering bitterness inside of Richie because of this though, not when his life was finally in the best possible place it could be. Eddie and him got their heads out of their asses, or more like Eddie got out of his and decided to yet again be the brave one out of the two of them, and they started dating almost immediately after defeating Pennywise. In only a week's time, Eddie made the move from New York to Los Angeles, and with him he had brought the happiness Richie had long forgotten he could ever possess.

His marriage with Myra had been just as much a scam as the relationship between Richie and David, and his divorce was swift - no surprise there with the way Eddie always prepared for every possible scenario-, but Eddie almost always avoided talking about it. In a way, Richie was disheartened by that.

It was no secret Eddie married a woman that was basically a mirror image of his mom, and at times Richie caught himself wondering if Eddie had realized how smothering she was or if he had been so hunkering for the normality of life as a straight, married man that he never paid her enough attention too. He wonders if he was the only one stupid enough to not realize the gravity of what was happening to him.

Richie has debated on flat out asking Eddie about it, but, and there’s always a but, that would mean he would have to tell Eddie about David, and he is overcome with a rare form of anxiety, something deeply ashamed nestling in the place where his trust is supposed to be at the mere idea.

Swearing on the holy turtle god that managed to save them from Pennywise’s claws, Richie was originally planning on confessing the whole thing to Eddie on day one of their relationship. He truly was, and he had even conjured up humorous escape alternatives to duck his way under a fire load of questions Eddie was surely about to ask him after.

He even prepared himself to tell Eddie in Derry, right after overhearing Eddie’s phone call to his wife, feeling empowered that Eddie would come to understand. Bev interrupted before he could, perhaps a blessing in disguise. Before Eddie fully put down his phone, Bev had sweeped in the room, requesting a meeting downstairs to talk. Richie had been helpless to follow and listen intently, and if he was being honest with himself – he wasn’t – he felt a tiny bit of relief that he wouldn’t be subjected to any negative attention. Until Bev started to confess how her life had been before Mike called them.

All at once, a sickening hatred from himself overwhelmed Richie. He was so angry that he had dared to feel sorry about himself, and here Bev was, with a situation that was incomparably worse. The more details Bev entrusted them with – Richie may have promised to never kill anyone again, but he an exception could be made - the more Richie’s food from a few hours before threatened to choke him, and not even Eddie’s cream smoothed hand holding his distracted him.

Near the end, after they’d progressed from such an melancholically topic and began drinking away the booze in their hotel, Richie had drawn Bev’s attention with a call of her name, to either make her smile or to assure her that she wasn’t alone, Stan send him a withering look, as if to warn him not to open his mouth. Stan’s assumption was fair, it was in Richie’s nature to find humor in places there shouldn’t be, and he had no idea about Richie’s past to think otherwise. Still, every time Richie considered telling Eddie, the look flashed in his mind and sewed his mouth shut.

Not telling Eddie hasn’t impacted things the way Richie had predicted it would. Really, Richie was doing fine. Eddie chastised Richie on certain things, but Richie didn’t freak out or experience any sort of flashback. He would be given a peck on his forehead, or a hand running through his hair, and he’d know that Eddie was never mad at him. It was the littlest details that had Richie out of his mind with love, that highlighted just how different Eddie and David were.

By now, Richie had decided he was fine with not telling Eddie anything about David, and the extra weight of keeping something a secret was his boyfriend was just another fee to carry around with him. But life always throws a curveball Richie Tozier’s way when he has finally made plans.

This curve ball comes in the form of soup. A horrendous chicken soup that Eddie cooked up two days in advance, an experiment of different herbs that clashed into a symphony of flavors all competing to be the primary flavor. There are two things to know about Eddie as a cook. Number one is that he is not an impressive cook – and it’s not for the lack of trying - but Richie doesn’t mind. Eating food that doesn’t please his taste buds but getting Eddie in return for it is a fair deal in Richie’s books.

The second thing to note is that Eddie is a lazy cook. He turns the kitchen into a battlefield of different sauces, with jars a million different pots and pans skewed across the stove and no more room to place anything else left. It’s gotten to the point that whenever Eddie is in charge of cooking, they will not even put their dinner on a plate anymore, but instead leave it in whatever it’s made in, because it eliminates dishes to wash. That’s what starts the mess that day in first place.

Richie isn’t an idiot. Yes, he can be dense at times, and when it comes to loving Eddie he’s more than a bit moronic, but he’s not stupid. He’s had to survive on his own – and with someone who didn’t lift a finger - for a long time, thus there was no other way. He’s aware of the danger of putting a metal bowl in the microwave, and how it can cause the metal to heat up and start a fire, and therefor has never been stupid enough to try it. But today, Richie is stressed.

Steve has been calling him all day to try and persuade him into doing an interview for a magazine, and no matter how many times, how loud or agitated Richie says no, Steve still insists. Richie paces annoyed towards his fridge phone locked between his shoulder and ear, so he can take out the metal bowl of soup with his hands, and place it in their microwave without a second thought.

‘Steve I don’t care how much publicity you think it will get me, I don’t want to do it,’ Richie mutters, turning around with his back towards the warming soup. The consistent arguing with Steve has his teeth grinding, his shoulders tense and his anxiety sparked.

Eddie is still out for work, but it’s closing at five pm, the time he ensures he’s at home, and Richie thinks he can hear his car driving up into the gravel parking lot. The absence of his boyfriend is about to be filled, and Steve is yapping away in his ear, not content to admit defeat just yet, it’s maddening.

‘Steve… Steve listen to me, don’t get your panties up in a twist, I have to go. Don’t book the interview. I won’t take any part in it.’ His denial doesn’t put a stop to Steve’s yapping, but at that point Richie is over his nagging. He pinches the bridge of his nose and utters; ’Okay nice chat’, and hangs up without waiting for a response back.

He lets the phone clatter on top of their kitchen surface and says that Steve got the message, if only for the rest of the day. His phone doesn’t vibrate again, leading Richie to assume he has won this round. He can’t help but lean forward so far his head rests against the cold tiles of the kitchen counter, just sighing for one long, extended breath. A night in on the couch with Eddie spooning him has never allured him so much. His back cracks with a satisfying pop as he readjusts his body, and he groans in gratifications.

Their alarm dings loudly in the open concept kitchen, a warning that someone has just entered their driveway. Richie doesn’t need to go look to know that it’s Eddie and his large, black suv, but he wants to anyway. He’s about to walk towards the front door to greet Eddie like he’s a pet that has been waiting anxiously for its owners return – and some would describe him in the same manner - when the air fills with smoke and a rancid smell. It’s barely detectable at first, nothing more but an insentient odor that is unpleasant but not resolute and easy to ignore. But then actual smoke begins to wash it’s way around Richie, and he has a split second of blissful unknowingness left, until the problem dawns on him.

Richie follows the smoke trail, and is shocked to find their microwave steaming and actually crackling, like it’s on the verge of exploding. It probably is. Still, it’s nothing compared to the cluster bomb of fumes that spread throughout the room when Richie actually opens the microwave door and gets slapped in the face with the enormity. It’s a surprise that their smoke detector has yet to erupt.

Instantly, his airways fill up smoke, prickling his cough reflection so tremendously he doubles over in extortion. The coughs rattle his body in a painful manner, his chest and back start to hurt from the brutal movements and the fact that he can’t grasp fresh air no matter how wide he opens his mouth. Objectively, Richie should understand it can get a lot worse - their smoke detector hasn’t gone off, and there are no flames to accompany the smoke and therefore turn their house into a major safety hazard - but a panic he hasn’t felt since David has shut down his logical thinking skills.

A key is slotted into their keyhole, and it turns a first time to leave. Eddie is about to open the door, in give or take in about a minute – it always drags out because despite living here for give or take two years, Eddie still can’t remember this lock unlatches via the left side and not the right – and walk in on an absolute shit show that Richie’s engendered.

So far there was indication, no sign that hinted to Richie he still had leftover, undealt trauma left from his time hanging around David, but now, his only thought revolving around how mad Eddie is going to be, how much trouble he’ll be in once Eddie sees everything, he starting to realize he might not be as over things as he originally believed.

He ignores the way his lung burn, and reaches forward to grab the pot – with fogged over glasses rendering him blind - protection less, not even grabbing the oven mitts to provide some shelter for the warmth. He can’t comprehend how dangerous that is, can only focus on the red lights blaring in his mind, telling him he needs to get rid of the evidence before Eddie gets here and unleashes hell upon him.

Unfortunately, he’s too late. A door unlocks and Eddie enters the house. His feet pad on their wooden floor, brazen and fast, like he’s been waiting for a shot at grilling Richie and he can sense his opportunity to do so has arrived – the motion is so un-Eddie Richie dismissed it as absurd then and there, but a seed of doubt remains -.

With time, Richie comes to learn how to listen to the different footsteps, and he can now recognize who’s walking towards him and in what kind of mood they find themselves in, without taking one look at the person's face.

Eddie’s footsteps, after every work day, drag across their floor, as if a thousand pound weight has been added to his back. The bottom of his shoes wear out a lot faster than Richie’s do, and it drives Eddie nuts because out of the two of them, he’s the one that treats his material objects neater than Richie.

Richie’s always delighted to notice how light his footsteps get after just a few minutes spent with him or the losers.

Now, he is too scared to pick up on such little details. His palms tingle unpleasantly, the boiling liquid burning them more with each second he hangs on. He stands in the middle of their kitchen like a fool, turning his body every which way and letting his eyes dart out an escape plan. The smoke is nowhere near gone, and there’s too much of it for Richie to open a window and it to be blown away. Eddie’s going to notice, there’s no way he can’t.

‘Richie, you won’t believe what this imbecile Josh did at work today. I swear, I don’t understand how some people can get fucking hired sometimes.’

Eddie trudges into the kitchen, his suit wrinkled from a long day of frantically working on a report that should have been finished by some other incompetent coworker. The groves in his face are more prominent today, acquired by the years of unhappiness he experienced with Myra, the ages of his life cut off by the shock of Pennywise's return and the occasional busy work day his job supplies him with.

A nausea craters in Richie's stomach, filled with guilt for turning Eddie’s night off into a stressful event that requires a ton of clean up. Eddie stops dead in his tracks when he notices the mess, his mouth slips shut, the word dying on his tongue.

He’s waiting for Eddie’s frown to deepen, for his lips to cresting into a fury. He’s waiting for the waterfall of insults that will be hurled at his head, each one meaner than the last, honing in on his deepest insecurities and having them exploited because Eddie’s so angry he’ll do anything to strike a verbal blow. And it’ll be worse now, because it’s Eddie. It’s the love of his life doing it now, the one’s approval he seeks most.

Eddie’s the person that knows him inside and out and knows exactly what boundaries to push and prod out to crack Richie open from head to toe. He waits for all that, with his hand still clamped around the bowl of burning hot soup, scorching his palms – by this point, Richie is sure there will be blisters by the time he finally unclasps his grip.

Eddie’s frown does deepen, but it’s not out of anger. ‘Rich, be careful you’ll hurt yourself.’ Richie doesn’t let go, but holds onto the sides of the bowl tighter. Part of him wants him to experience the pain, to let what he did sink in like David’s words always did.

‘Richie’, Eddie says startlingly firm. He’s not trying to approach Richie or the bowl, but he’s capturing Richie’s attention just by his firm voice. ‘Put it down.’

Richie drops the bowl of soup, watching helplessly as it splatters all over their freshly painted walls and the ground. Out of the corner of his eye a flat glob of liquid drips down the wall, dirtying a whole line down to the floor. Richie cringes, his heart beating so fast he could swear it’s about to jump out of his chest, and his mind a mantra of ‘look what you did, look what you did, look what you did.’

‘Fuck Richie, did you burn it?’

And Richie knows he’s caught. He was, up to two seconds ago, holding the evidence right in his hands, but he’s so petrified logic is not operating in his brain at the moment. The only thing he can focus on with great clarity, is that he’s willing to try anything to get him out of a verbal tear down.

‘No..’, he tapers off at the end, leaving his statement much more alike a question than he would have preferred. Eddie raises one eyebrow suspiciously, pointily averting his gaze towards the smoke floating around them.

‘No?’ He asks back equally confused, head tilted to the side. Richie can feel his throat closing up in panic, bracing himself for an onslaught. He doesn’t foresee Eddie’s nurturing and concerned approach. ‘Let me take a look at your hands’, Eddie murmurs tenderly.

It’s technically nothing new, the way Eddie treats him. After Neibolt and Richie’s big coming out, Eddie commenced all his vacation days and flew Richie all the way to Hawaii, for the pure intention of getting him away from any and all consequences. He’d allowed Richie to eat what he desired - within reason of course, there was no way Eddie was allowing Richie to eat pizza at 8 am-, waisted their days sitting by the pool and indulged in Richie unchancy pranks - one of which ended up with Eddie scrubbing out blue glitter out of his hair. Eddie had been kind then, so it shouldn’t be surprising he is in this situation.

It doesn’t take away the fear Richie is left with. David had good days too, days that he was the perfect boyfriend, but that would never last long, and Richie is left to speculate if it’ll be the same thing with Eddie.

Maybe it’ll be hidden in a secret message, maybe Eddie is busy hatching a plan that will utterly deploy Richie from the inside out. Eddie’s hands are gently skimming over Richie’s palms, inspecting the damage without irritating the skin even more. ‘It doesn’t seem like it’s bad. It hurts right?’

‘Yeah’, Richie croaks when he figures out the question isn’t rhetorical. He isn’t sure at the moment why that’s supposed to be good.

Eddie tips forward, stretching up higher so he can kiss Richie’s forehead tenderly. Against his skin he explains. ‘That means the burn isn’t too deep, but hold it under the water still.’

‘No but you know what does go deep?’

‘Nothing if you don’t treat your burns,’ Eddie teases with a smirk. He gently ushers Richie closer to their faucet, and holds his own palm under the stream of water, twiddling with the different temperature taps until he finds one that he deems just lukewarm enough to allow Richie’s hand under it.

The smoke in the air remains unspoken about. It’s almost as if Richie is more important than a potential house fire to Eddie, but that’s absurd. Not only because this is the house that both of them felt was the right one, and subsequently paid a lot of money for, but also because Richie isn’t that special. He’s not even trying to be condensing towards himself, because he truly believes that.

‘How did you manage to do this huh? Idiot.’ Eddie jokes while guiding his hand under the water at the correct angle, his salutation gets smoothed over by a hand ruffling his hair. Coincidentally, or perhaps the exact opposite, a part of the stress Richie accumulated falls away when Eddie calls him an idiot. It helps to underline why exactly Eddie will never be like David, why the two aren’t in the same league of each other even.

When Eddie says idiot, it’s a nickname, it’s a middle school jab when Richie runs too fast and trips over his own feet, it’s the symbolic soothing pat on the back he receives after he can get all of the losers to laugh at his humor. It’s their love langue no one understands, It’s Eddie’s way of hiding how deep his adoration goes with a job that’s unusual to others.

David’s condescending tone alone tipped Richie into the deep end, into a cave that echoed his deepest flaws and slammed it into the cavity in his chest every time something didn’t go according to plan. Idiot for David did not mean the same things. For David, idiot was shoving aside Richie’s concerns, it was disinterested in all his quirks and his passive attitude. He meant what he said without sarcasm.

A first tear tracks down Richie’s cheek. ‘Rich?’ Eddie inquires startled. His hand previously stroking Richie’s curls slides towards his elbow in a smooth motion.

Richie tries to tell him it’s okay, that he needs a minute to regroup but that he’s fine, but instead of that he sobs, more tears spilling over with no regards to him uneasy Richie is to cry in front of someone.

‘Richie shit I’m sorry. Does it hurt that bad? Do we need to go to a hospital? We’ll go right now.’

‘No, no hospital,’ Richie waves him off with his injured hands. Eddie leads his hand back without response, tracking his face to see if he gives away anything. Richie had forgotten his hand hurted in the first place, so he definitely didn’t require any treatment beyond what he was doing already. His tears are the result of being overwhelmed by his emotions, and his default response to that is to cry.

‘If you don’t want me to do that, that’s okay you know?’

Because his hand is incapacitated, he wipes his nose on the corner of his shirt, watching as Eddie’s wrinkles his nose at that. Still, even with the disgusting move on Richie’s part, Eddie leans in closer, molding Richie so he fits in the fold between Eddie’s neck and shoulder. There, he resumes his path of caressing Richie’s hair, and kissing his temple. Richie fists one of his hands in the back of Eddie’s shirt, pressing them as intimate as he can.

‘Hey sweetheart, it’s okay. What’s wrong?’

Richie sobs harder, not particularly keen on telling Eddie why he’s this upset. It’s a difficult topic to talk to anyone about, Eddie and the losers included. There were days that Richie twisted his mind to convince himself that it was all in his head. That David was the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for, and that the tirades he had to endure was just the cost of that. He was afraid he added things in his mind that hadn’t actually taken place and he created his own narrative.

Apprehension held Richie back, dreading what Eddie’s response might be. He could exclaim Richie to be a complainer that should have praised himself lucky to get the abuse he got, or he could say that Richie was a sourpuss, turning a fly into an elephant.

‘Shouldn’t we get rid of the smoke first?’, Richie questions to stall.

‘Later’, Eddie soothes with another kiss to his temple. ‘Talk to me. Please Rich.’

‘There was this guy I used to date, David.’

Eddie’s head shoots up in bewilderment, his brow furrowed. ‘You never told me about him.’

‘Yeah well we never talk about your wife either and I thought that would mean we wouldn’t disclose our previous hang ups.’

‘Ex-wife. Remember Rich? She’s my ex-wife. There’s nobody in the world I would rather be with then with you.’

‘Stop it you bastard,’ Richie sniffles pathetically. ‘You know I can’t deny you anything when you sweet talk me.’

‘That’s the plan.’

Eddie thumbs underneath Richie’s eye socket, brushing in a hypnotic rhythm that ankers him to reality. If Richie nuzzles into Eddie’s palm, then no one else but then needs to know.

Talking about something that brings forth a lot of anxiety goes smoother with closed eyes, Richie’s come to find, so he does that before revealing what he should have revealed a long time ago.

‘He was.. not so kind’, he chuckles humorless. ‘He really thrived when he pointed out everything I did wrong, liked yelling too.’

‘Rich?’

‘Wait let me finish. If I don’t say it now I’ll never get the courage to again.’ He opens his eyes only to see Eddie nod in agreement, and his face starting to tang a bit red.

‘Sometimes I couldn’t even walk right without him being all up in my ass about it. At parties he would gladly tell everyone embarrassing things I did, or he would pretend like he did all the work at home while really he was the one that did nothing. And the way he spoke to me.. like I was a child and he was a teacher or something. And he had this way of saying things so I’d know I was a breath away from being yelled at, but so that he could still claim he never once raised his voice at me. I guess I was scared you were going to do the same thing after seeing what a major fuck up I am. . He kept insisting I didn’t do things good enough, but I was really trying my best. I fucking swear Eds. I can’t help that my best isn’t good enough.’

The repetitive motion that Eddie kept up during his long monologue abruptly ends, and Eddie instead balls his hands up into two fist, pulling away from Richie to lean on the counter. He bounces on his heels, unable to stand still any longer as he is now the one to squeeze his eyes shut.

‘Eddie?’ Richie implores, the panic from before quickly flooding through his bloodstream and entering every part of his body.

Eddie opens his eyes, and something on Richie’s face must give away what he’s experiencing, because he’s quick to assure Richie did nothing wrong. ‘No, shit Richie it’s not you sweetheart. I love you, you did nothing, nothing wrong.’

He pecks Richie on the lips twice, very softly and barely noticeable, almost a goad to get Richie to cram their lips together tighter. For a long moment, they don’t move. Their lips stay hovering just out of reach, and one of Eddie’s palms slide down Richie’s chest down to his belly and up again. It’s an effort for Eddie to try and generate as much love towards Richie as he possibly can, before his resolve breaks and he has to let his resentment for David out in some way.

‘I’m going to kill him.’ Eddie turns away from Richie, but his hand remains on Richie’s stomach, a connection so they don’t separate. His chest puffs up, almost like he’s gearing up to go fight David right now. He would if he got the chance.

‘Spagheddie you don’t have to do that for me. I don’t even own his number anymore.’

‘I don’t care Rich,’ Eddie’s voice trembles but is laced with a deadly amount of venom. ‘He should have never done those things to you. If I ever see him I’ll fucking strangle him with my bare hands.’

‘It’s fine Eds, it wasn’t that bad.’ The denial burns in his chest. He wondered for a long time if he could qualify what he went through as abuse, not because he was actively hoping to label himself as an abuse victim, but because he questioned if what happened to him was worth being this upset over. In conclusion, Richie decreed it wasn’t. Eddie's eyes snap up, burning behind a sheen layer of glass.

‘He never hit me like Bev’s husband did to her.’

‘That doesn’t fucking matter. What happened to Bev is terrible, but that doesn’t make what happened to you any less dire. Both of you were victims of abuse, save for a different kind.’

Are they comparable? If they were talking about another person Richie would say yes, that both leave lasting scars, but because he’s the subject of the question, he can’t say for sure. He’s not lenient enough with himself to allow such a statement to be made. Bev can suffer from the consequences of her abuse, but from Richie’s perspective, he should be over it by now.

‘Oh fuck,’ Eddie curses explicitly, ‘and I called you an idiot. Richie I’m so sorry.’

Eddie’s little crease that only appears when he’s discontent about something appears again, and he avoids eye contact with Richie. There’s no need for any of that. Richie hadn’t even taken that big of a notice about the word. He was reassured Eddie would never use it as a true insult, and even if he wasn’t convinced of that, the tender way Eddie reacts towards him otherwise would be enough to convince him.

‘No Eddie. I don’t mind, really. I don’t want things to change between us because I told you this. I like our banter.’

He finally takes his hand from under the lukewarm water stream, and dries it on his pants -the water, come Eddie’s prediction, has eased the aflame skin -. With both hands now free, Richie cuddles up closer to Eddie, using his arms to tug him closer. Eddie is still dressed in his suit from work - and it might deem handsome, but it is not very comfortable - but has not mentioned getting changed once, too enraptured with taking care of Richie.

‘They won’t if you don’t want to, but we’re making a deal. If I do something that hurts you, you need to tell me, so I can apologize and tell you I didn’t mean any of it. Are we clear?’

‘Aye aye captain. Shall we pinky promise on it?’

‘No, I’d rather kiss on it.’

They do, and this time the kiss progresses further than just a simple peck. Eddie cups Richie’s face in between his palms, a soft, sentimental smile ruining it a little. It doesn’t matter, Richie still greedily savors the moment as it comes.

‘All those times that you went on stage and rocked that whole performance I was already infinitely proud, but shit Richie, now that you’ve told me I’m even prouder. He tore you down but you spit in his face and said fuck no, I’m still going to be my own person. I’ll never let him treat you badly again. More importantly, you’ll never let him do it again. You’re so strong sweetheart.’

Richie sniffs, ‘why the hell are you still being so sappy? I told you everything already, there’s no need to spawn me further.’ He giggles, and Eddie can’t help but chuckle at the sight too, then he turns serious again.

‘Okay, now let me take care of you. I’m going to clean up, hush I am and you’re not going to lift a single finger, and then we’ll order in, watch tv from the bed and cuddle. That sounds good? We can talk about the heavy things in the morning.’ Richie has been through enough for one day.

‘That sounds perfect Eds.’

They let go of each other, but not before Eddie sneaks in a kiss on his forehead, cheek and jaw.

While dating David, Richie never used the word love. He knew, with manipulated affection and all, that he did not love David. Love isn’t supposed to change us, it’s supposed to accept us, makes us laugh and cry at appropriate times, and cocoon us in her warmth. Love doesn’t change us, but it adds something more to the previous person we were yesterday. Eddie adds something more to Richie every single day, be it by teaching him or standing by his side when he messes up. Richie loves Eddie, and he gets loved back equally as fierce.

[ravenforce]

Stark Legacy 1

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Carol Danvers x Wanda Maximoff x Maria Hill x Reader

Word Count: 3877

A/N: It has arrived. The Imagine I teased you all about a month ago. Thus the unholy pentagon arrives. I tried writing a summary but I think I suck at writing them, and I didn’t wanna spoil the plot by talking too much. I hope you like this. Comment your reactions, bloody or otherwise. Also, I proofread this twice but if there are still some mistakes that escaped me, forgive me. xx

Parts: 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

***

Interrupted

“Funny how tragedy brings people together,” Maria thought as she stands on the balcony watching not the city below her but the sight of her girlfriends Natasha and Carol goofing around the kitchen while Wanda helplessly continues to try to make dinner. Who would have thought that after being dusted she’d end up being asked out by the most powerful Avengers? Okay, it was Natasha who asked her out with Carol’s permission to do so.

“Are you high Natasha?” Maria asked after Natasha gathered all the courage she could get to ask S.H.I.E.L.D’s Deputy Director out for dinner. 

Carol was watching the interaction, saw how fast Nat tries to build her walls up. So, she flew to her ex-assassin girlfriend before she can bolt in humiliation.

“No, no, she’s not high. As you know, the Black Widow doesn’t joke either. She’s serious,” Carol paused. “We, we’re serious about this. We want you to be our girlfriend but if that’s too fast for you, we can just hang out. We’d still love to have you around.”

Maria cocked her perfectly sculpted eyebrow while Carol vomits her words. She thought it was adorable that the two strongest people she knows was nervous about asking her, a mere mortal, out. 

“Why me? Why now?” Maria asked the burning questions in her head. She may be Fury’s best soldier but she’s not just about to do something because people told her so. 

“Well,” Carol started before nudging Nat with her elbow. Natasha looked up at Maria. 

“Well, life is short, Hill,” Natasha said. Carol rolled her eyes. 

“That’s very romantic, Agent Romanoff,” Maria deadpanned. Carol chuckled. 

“What Natasha meant was life is short, and she’s had a fat crush on you since she met you forever ago but,” Carol paused to think her words over. 

“But the world kept needing heroes,” Natasha finished her girlfriend’s sentence. “And I kept waiting for the right time.” 

There was never a right time went unsaid but duly understood. She’ll be damned if she says she never thought about kissing the redhead senseless before, especially every time Natasha goes on her way to save the boys, even if meant endangering herself. Maria looked at the two women before her, as they wait with bated breath. 

“Fine,” Maria said after what seems like an eternity. Carol started grinning instantly, Nat tried to bite the inside of her cheeks to hide her excitement but the blush on her neck and cheeks said otherwise. “Let me know when and where.”

Six months after, Wanda came back into the compound. Wanda joining them was gradual, as they’re all respectful of her grieving process. It took months before Wanda herself opened up about joining their little family. 

“Aren’t you guys going to ask me to be your girlfriend?” she asked, direct to the point. No dilly-dallying, while they’re all cuddled up in the couch watching the end credits of Netflix’s Altered Carbon. Carol was lying on her side big-spooning the deadly Natasha Romanoff. While Maria was sitting in the middle with Wanda’s foot cradled on top of her thighs. 

Carol and Nat nearly fell on the floor in their haste to look at the young witch. Wanda watched as they gather their thoughts, Maria laughed at how surprised the two were.

“We are planning on it,” Maria says as she massages Wanda’s soft feet. “We just didn’t know if you’re actually open to it.”

Wanda wanted to sass but Maria’s hand on her feet is doing magic to her, rendering her soft and non-combatant. She still rolled her eyes playfully though. “Now that we’re on the topic. Ask me now,” Wanda says cheekily. 

Natasha sat on the floor beside Carol. “Be our girlfriend,” she says confidently. “Officially.”

Wanda smiled before she beckoned the redhead forward so they can seal the deal with a kiss.  

***

“Deputy Director Hill! Maria! Bubba!!” Wanda yelled to get Maria’s attention.

“Sorry, I was elsewhere,” Maria apologized for spacing out. “What do you need?”

“I need you to remove these children out of the kitchen,” Wanda teased Nat and Carol.

Maria took one huge sip of her red wine before walking inside their shared apartment and towards her favourite witch.

“You know you can put these two in their place with a flick of your wrist,” Maria teased.

“It’s more fun to watch when you’re the one punishing them,” Wanda answered smiling, igniting a laugh from Nat and Carol as well.

“That sounds dirty,” Carol whispered before throwing a mushroom at Nat’s head again. Wanda sighed as she gets the pans out from the bottom cupboard. Nat glared at her blonde girlfriend before reaching for the broccoli to retaliate but Maria caught her hand on the counter.

“Enough,” Maria said sternly. Nat pouted while Carol stuck her tongue at the redhead.

Maria turned towards the blonde. “You too,” she said, effectively cutting the shenanigans.

Wanda walked past Maria and gave her a kiss on the cheeks before setting the pan on the stove. “See, the children only follow you,” she said before tossing the ingredients of her beef with broccoli on the pan.

“Uhm, we’re actually older than you two,” Carol blurted out.

“Speak for yourself, fossil,” Natasha teased. Yes, Natasha Romanoff, the deadly Black Widow actually knows how to tell a joke. Don’t get it wrong though, Natasha’s only soft and relaxes when she’s home. Out there, she’s still as deadly as she used to be.

Wanda laughed melodiously, causing Maria to smile a little wilder. They all lost people after the war - Tony, Clint, Steve to name a few but nothing compares to Wanda having to kill Vision to save the goddamn world. Maria’s really happy that a year after, Wanda’s coping, and smiling again. Their little family may be unconventional and incomprehensible to others but their relationship saved the four of them from spiralling into the abyss of pain and loss.

***

“Hill,” Nat called out for her, cutting through her obvious daydreaming. She blinked twice at the redhead.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked still slightly dazed.

“Are you okay? It’s the second time in the hour that you’ve spaced out,” Nat asked clearly worried.

Maria only smiled as an answer before her phone started ringing again. She pulled out the device from her back pocket. It’s Fury. She accepted the call.

“Nick,” she answered simply. She pursed her lips together while listening to intently on the other line. After receiving the directive, she unconsciously glanced at her girlfriends as they make the dining table.

“Okay. I got it. I’ll be there in 30,” she said before hanging up the phone.

Nat, Carol, and Wanda stood straight looking at her. Maria smiled, knowing her girlfriends are ready to move out on her command.

“Sorry, you’ll have to sit this one out,” Maria said causing the three to frown instantly. They don’t like the idea of Maria going without one of them since they started going out.

“Take at least one of us,” Nat suggested. Maria walked towards the redhead and forced her to uncross her arms, so she could settle in and give Nat a hug. Nat instantly melted but the frown didn’t leave her face as well as her worry.

“I can’t. Nick didn’t say it’s ‘take one of your hot girlfriends to work day’,” Maria murmured cheekily against Nat’s chest. Nat rolled her eyes playfully but Maria could hear the rumble on her chest as she starts laughing. Carol and Wanda watched the two fondly.

“Be serious,” Nat sassed, pretending to be annoyed.

“I am! Besides, Wanda worked so hard to get this dinner ready. Especially harder since you and Carol can’t stop being a goof,” Maria teased. Carol stuck her tongue out at Natasha, causing the redhead to roll her eyes.

“Fine but you’re wearing your tracker,” Nat said seriously. Carol bounded to them like an excited child with Maria’s necklace tracker on her hand. It’s one of the two pairs, they asked Pepper to have made at Stark Industries. It’s in the design of Tony’s arc reactor.

“Thank you,” Maria said after Carol secured it around her neck and gave her a soft kiss on the shoulder.

“Just activate the emergency beacon,” Wanda said softly as she sidled up with the group.

“And we will come for you,” Nat finished the sentence for Wanda. “Come hell or high water, we will come for you.”

Maria’s heart soared. She was doing fine on her own before, she didn’t know it could get better.

“Saps,” she teased softly before adding. “I’ll be okay. I’ll have Bruce, Bucky, and Happy with me.”

Natasha laughed. “Yeah, like that’s gonna compare to us,” she said confidently, and all Maria could do was laugh before begrudgingly walking away from her home. She knew if she stays for another minute to banter, she wouldn’t be able to go at all.

***

Classified

“Nick, it’s been 5 days since we’ve heard from Maria,” Carol said after slamming her hands on the Director’s table.

Nat nearly bristled as she leans on a wall across the room, watching Nick unfazed by Carol’s attempt to intimidate him. Wanda’s pacing back and forth beside Carol.

Nick looked up at Natasha. “Do I need to remind you that Hill is my deputy? If you can’t trust my decision to send her without the three of you. At least trust that she can protect herself well,” Nick said calmly.

Carol opened her mouth to respond but she heard Nat pull away from the wall. “Sorry to bother you then, Director,” Nat said simply, a deep frown adorning her beautiful face.

Carol and Wanda wanted to protest but the look on Nat’s face told them otherwise. The two followed Nat silently all the way back to the compound. When they reached their shared bedroom, Nat went directly to boot her personal laptop.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked, sitting in front of the assassin. Carol plopping down next to the redhead on the bed.

“Nick’s not gonna give her location. So, I’m just going to find her,” Nat answered just in time as the tracking program opened. Wanda and Carol nodded.

“Okay, we’ll prepare our bags,” Wanda said before hopping out of the bed. Nat glanced at Carol who was staring at her.

“What?”

Carol beamed. “Nothing, I just love you so much,” she said before leaning in and pecking Nat’s soft plump lips.

Nat smiled when Carol was safely out of sight. Who would have thought that being home and being loved by these amazing women is what her future held for her? A silver lining from everything and everyone they lost in the war, Nat would like to think so.

“I got a location,” she yelled before sending the coordinates to her phone.

When she walked out of the bedroom, Carol and Wanda are all geared-up and packed. Carol opted not to wear her Captain Marvel uniform as to not attract too much attention. She just wore one of Natasha’s old Black Widow uniform.

“What?” Now it’s Carol’s turn to ask.

“Nothing,” Nat answered while Wanda and Carol file out of their room.

“If we’re not in a mission to find Maria, you won’t ever leave the bedroom,” Nat murmured under her breath as she follows her girlfriends out of the door.

“I heard that,” Carol sing-song after throwing her backpack at the trunk of Nat’s Rubicon.

“I’d help you tie her in the bed some other time,” Wanda whispered after Natasha got on behind the wheel.

“I heard that too,” Carol laughed as she enters the passenger seat.

Nat just rolled her eyes at her girlfriend before pulling out of the compound.

***

Nat drove like a madwoman towards the location. Thankfully, it was a driving distance and she didn’t have to borrow the quinjet that would surely let the Director know what they’re up to. Nat was thankful to have brought her Rubicon, they’re able to drive through rough terrain and all the way to the entrance of the facility. The entrance was inconspicuous, almost hidden by the shrubs growing around the area. Wanda stood in the mouth of the cave, a look of concentration on her face while Carol gets their bags from the car. 

“She’s here,” she whispered when Nat sidled up to her. “She’s unharmed.”

Nat sighed in relief. “What is this place?” she asked quietly as she fixes the weapons on her waist. 

“It seems to be Stark facilities,” Carol answered. Before the others can question where she got the information, Carol cocked her head to the side, motioning them to the House of Stark insignia, and Stark Industries logo carved on the wall of the cave. 

Nat and Wanda held their questions. There isn’t supposed to be any more of Tony’s secret labs in operation, Pepper made sure all of them are identified and catalogued on their database. This place isn’t on the list, Nat checked. They know all the answers to their questions, lie on the other end of the cavern. So their trek begins. 

The cave was dark and eerily quiet. No hostiles along the way, which doesn’t put any of them at ease. Either there’s really no threat or all threats are waiting for them on the other side. It took almost thirty minutes of walking in the dark, with just three small flashlights before they reached the end of the line, a heavy metal door. Knowing Tony, the door is supposed to be automated by F.R.I.D.A.Y but no AI greeted them. 

Carol’s hands started to glow. “Should I blast it open?” she asked with a small smile on her face.

Before anyone can say something though, the door slid open revealing Happy. 

“What the duck!” he exclaimed in his surprise.

Wanda gaped but got over her surprise first. She quickly jumped into Happy’s arms. “Happy!” 

“What are you three doing here?”

Nat noted the shift in Happy’s tone. He was confused at first but then he’s nervous. He’s hiding something but then again, Nat was pretty sure Maria told them this mission is classified but they’re already there. There’s no turning back now. 

“You’ve been gone for five days. We’re worried,” Nat answered simply. 

“Where’s Maria?” Carol asked while walking around what seems to be a disinfection area. Happy nearly shoved Wanda on his haste to stand in front of Captain Marvel when she reached the main door to the facility. His smile wavered, while Carol just cocked her eyebrow at him. 

“You can’t go there,” Happy said, voice shaking. “Bad egg smell, seriously. It’s deadly.”

Nat narrowed her eyes at the poor man before side-stepping him and entering the other room. Carol and Wanda quickly following their redhead girlfriend inside. Happy couldn’t do much more than just heave a sigh before following everyone.

***

When they entered the room, no one paid them any attention thinking that it’s just Happy coming back inside. Nat, Wanda, and Carol noticed Bruce first, standing behind multiple computer screens and clearly absorbed on his work. Then they noticed Maria standing over what seems to be a medical table, tablet on her hand with some Stark Industries personnel and Stark Industries machinery working on something. They couldn’t really see from their vantage point, so they walked a little further inside to see better. 

“What the?” Wanda whispered loud enough to get everyone’s attention.

Carol bumped into a metal counter, causing everything on it to shake. Nat couldn’t do much more than stare. Maria turned around, mirroring the surprise on her girlfriends’ faces. 

“Happy?” Maria asked, still not quite processing that her girlfriends’ are all there. 

Happy scratched the back of his neck. “I bumped into them on the way to out,” he explained a little sheepish.

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose to prevent an incoming headache. She sighed before turning back to the lab people and ordering them to keep going. She walked towards Wanda and Carol first before giving both of them a quick kiss on their cheeks. Then she stood in front of Natasha. “I’m sorry I made you worry, I just have my hands full here,” she explained. 

Nat couldn’t stop staring at the body on the table. “What is that?” she asked bewildered. 

“It’s a robot, isn’t it?” Carol asked as she walks closer to the table. “I saw Rocket repairing Nebula once. This one’s way too human though.”

Wanda walked closer to the table too. “Isn’t that?” Wanda started to asked but before she could continue, the machines started powering down. Happy looked at the lights to check if they’re having trouble with the power again.

“Miss Hill, repairs are complete,” a lab tech said. “She’s booting up now.”

Everyone held their breath in anticipation. A minute after, the robot’s eyes opened. She blinked a few times before putting her hand up to shield her eyes from the harsh light. Maria walked towards the table to remove the light on its face. 

“Hey,” Maria greeted tentatively.

She’s not exactly sure what’s supposed to happen next. After five days, she still hasn’t reconciled the fact that Tony left a robot with an active program unaccounted for in the facility.

“Hi,” it said before sitting up. Nat gasped when she got a good look at the robot’s face.

“Is that?” she whispered under her breath. Carol looked confused, everyone seems to know the identity of the robot, she doesn’t. She reckons it must be someone dusted at the first snap or someone who died before she got back. 

“Are you really in there?” Maria asked, confusing Nat, Carol, and Wanda. 

The robot looked down at her hands and made a show to close and open them like a child learning to use their extremities for the first time. The robot looked up at Maria. 

“I am,” you answered. “How long have I been out?”

“Dead or lying here dormant?” Happy asked from behind Maria.

The robot recognized the voice immediately. She leaned to the side to see the man himself. Everyone watched as the robot’s features lighten up with a smile.

“Haps!” the robot exclaimed before jumping with robot precision into Happy’s arms. 

Nat shivered at how eerily human this robot is. She turned slightly to look at Wanda, who looked exactly as she expected her to be facing another Stark robot creation once again. Carol seems to have caught Wanda’s reaction as well by the way she moved closer to the witch to offer her silent support. 

Happy wrapped his arms around the robot. He nearly sobbed at point of contact, no one calls him Haps, except. Tony outdid himself with how well he made the robot to imitate a human body. The skin is made of top of the line synthetic material that it’s almost human-like. 

“So, how long?” 

Happy let the robot go reluctantly. “Five years give or take when we buried your body,” he said solemnly. The robots’ eyes glazed for a second before he looked at Happy again. 

“So, what did I miss?” she asked with fake enthusiasm Nat can smell from a mile away.

“Tony’s gone,” Bruce who was silently watching the event unfold in front of him said softly.

“I know,” it said, frowning. “He left a message on my hard drive.”

A silence fell into the room. Leaving Nat, Carol, and Wanda with so many questions, and zero answers. 

“Hi, excuse me,” Carol said shyly to get everyone’s attention. The robot turned to her and smiled softly. “I’m sorry but can someone explain what’s happening here?”

“Hi, I’m sorry. We haven’t met, I’m Y/N. Y/N Stark, Tony Stark’s younger sister,” the robot introduced herself. 

You can hear a pin drop in the floor with the silence that follows. It was deafening.

“That’s not possible,” Natasha blurted out. You turned towards the redhead with a smile. It’s been ages since you’ve seen the woman, or anyone of them, after all.

“Oh, Natalie,” you said with a smirk. 

Nat shivered, remembering the first time she met you years ago while she was still Tony’s undercover secretary. She remembered how you bantered and flirted with each other relentlessly. She had to summon all her Black Widow training not to blush at the intensity of your gaze. 

“But it is,” you continued. “Wanda can prove it.”

Tag List: @subject7creed​

[taeguboi]

BTS Reaction to you bumping into an ex that was emotionally manipulative / abusive

... (and in which the BTS member is your current boyfriend)

So first of all, a big fat [!]Warning[!] about the themes about abuse - it’s not like highly descriptive or visual, just mentions about it but I don’t want to upset anyone. 

Like seriously, please don’t make yourself read this because it’s BTS themed or because you think you should force yourself to read something like this when you aren’t ready too. Sending much love to everyone who might have had similar experiences <3 

EDIT: here’s my Reactions Masterlist if you would like to pick out some content to read that’s more your jam :)

RM

Calms you down

You see your ex one day when you and Namjoon are just walking down the street before a nice stroll in the park. Today was supposed to be about you relaxing and forgetting about all of life’s problems but you can’t help but feel a bit sick in the stomach at the sight of your ex who was very emotionally abusive and manipulative. He’s right there in the near distance; across the road but heading in your direction. You start thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about yourself like maybe he was right about your appearance, weight or ambitions… 

Without you even saying a word, your current boyfriend Namjoon just knows there is something the matter. Just a second ago you were extremely chatty and having a laugh and all that, and the next thing he knows, you’ve gone silent, so pale, almost grey, in the face. 

He looks around, in front of the two of you, behind, then finally as he turns back, he can see across the road, a lonely figure. From description, he initially wonders if it’s this ex you opened up to him about even though you still haven’t said a word about it right now.

The aim here for Joon is to stay calm and ensure that this doesn’t get made into a scene. For now, at least he thinks so anyway, the ex hasn’t caught sight of the two of you yet. But in order for this to have a chance at being handled well, he needs you to talk to him (to Joon).

“Um… is that…?”

“Afraid so” you reply.

“Don’t worry about it honey, all you have to do is have a normal conversation with me, yeah?”

“Okay” you utter.

And that’s exactly what the two of you do. He asks you about how your work / studies are going and you manage to think just about straight enough to send calm, constructed replies and the two of you even get a giggle in when your boyfriend responds to something you just said with a joke.

In the corner of your eye, just as you are laughing with Namjoon, you can faintly see the figure walking across the road, now passing you. It seems Namjoon’s idea worked. The ex doesn’t seem to have any intentions of talking to you and as a bonus, he looks unhappy at the sight of you with someone else. You moved on and now he knows you are happier than you used to be. Just the kind of closure you didn’t realise you needed.

Jin

The defensive boyfriend

As your best friend even before the two of you got together, Jin was always very protective of you. In fact, he was your ex boyfriend’s worst nightmare, not that the latter would have ever admitted that to you.

Your ex was… let’s say not the nicest of human beings in the world, and whenever an argument arose - usually caused by this ex - the subject of Seokjin would always arise. Constantly, you were accused of cheating on him with Jin or that you spent more time with Jin, and so on… You ultimately plucked up the courage to break up with him when Jin agreed to be present when you had the conversation to break things off.

Fast forward about 6 months and you’ve been together with Jin for about 2 months now after finally getting over the trauma you experienced and allowing yourself to think about other people in a romantic way.

But just as life for you finally seemed to be turning around, the sight of your ex really put a cramp on your day. There you were just minding your own business in the supermarket, and he just so happened to be shopping in the same place at the same time.

Immediately Jin notices who is nearby and wants to go up to him and tell him to leave you alone, but you insist that he doesn’t act rashly just incase the ex actually doesn’t even bat an eyelid at the sight of you two; for all you and Jin know, he could just honestly be shopping there and not around only to bother you. This could be a coincidence.

However, a few minutes after spotting him and when the two of you are browsing the veg aisle, really putting some thought into what you’d like to cook this week, you can’t shake this feeling that your ex is sort of… lingering… and it sends a unpleasant shiver down your spine, causing you to twitch.

Jin, sharp as ever, notices this sudden movement you make and your ex happens to catch his sight. He could have sworn he was there like 5 minutes ago. And there’s nothing in his basket STILL. What’s he playing at…?

You give Jin a look though, giving him the message that you don’t want any trouble and he nods to show that there won’t be any trouble. Instead, he just gives your ex a hard glare, giving the message without using words that he should probably stop this suspicious business. Jin would never let anything bad happen to you and it seems he warded away the ex boyfriend for the rest of your shopping trip, the rest of your day and hopefully the rest of your life.

Suga

He won’t give trouble as long as he doesn’t get trouble

You were a bit shook when you were out alone one day. You were just walking back home from a friend’s house when you saw your ex. Now, you weren’t sure if he had seen you, but just you seeing him was enough for you to feel like your lungs were about to go into overdrive.

Hands shaking, you reached into your pocket and hit Yoongi’s number, being sure to whisper as you tell him what’s going on.

“Hey, y/n! I was actually just about to...”

“Yoongs, he’s here” you tell him a little breathlessly

“Hey, hey, calm down and start over” he says, his voice having a bit of a soothing effect on you

“Okay, so you remember... do you remember when a while back, I told you that thing? The thing about my last relationship...” and you’re trying your absolute hardest to keep the breathing pattern regular

“Yeah, of course... what’s the matter?”

“Can you come meet me... please? Like could you just walk up the street as if we were walking up to [y/f/n]’s house?”

“Yeah, sure, sure... Is there any way of telling me what’s happened sweetie?”

“Um, yeah, I think... Um... Well, about what I just said....” You beat around the bush a little, worried that your ex might be within hearing distance. “About what I just said... I can see him; it’s him”

Yoongi immediately hangs up and pretty much races down the route you asked him to go to come find you.

To your relief, it only takes your boyfriend a matter of minutes to find you, now much calmer than you had sounded over the phone. It seems the ex was out of sight now and once you think about it a bit more rationally, you’re quite sure he didn’t see you anyway and you tell your boyfriend you feel silly for causing such a fuss.

Yoongi doesn’t mind though. He will always be there for you. Though Yoongi didn’t come across your ex this time, he imagines some scenarios in which he could just get the opportunity to talk to him. There’s questions. What is wrong with that brain of his? Did he consider therapy? How could he treat anyone like that let alone the wonderful being that is you?

And although no trouble happened in this situation, if there is ever a time this ex tries anything with you, Yoongi knows he will be there to defend you. If the ex is civil, Yoongi will be civil. If there’s trouble, then your ex will probably regret his actions.

J-Hope

“Nope, she’s not here...”

You had another bad nightmare again and had asked Hoseok to stay the night with you. Whilst it felt a bit odd roaming the streets at 1am, he didn’t mind coming to comfort you.

He let himself in with the key you gave him and everything felt great again. A sudden knock on the door makes you both jump and your boyfriend Hoseok offers to answer it for you because a) you’re still in a bit of shock about the dream and b) this is an odd time for someone to be knocking on your door...

Since you were both in your living room, you’re sat pretty close to the door, within hearing distance anyway. Your heart sinks when you hear the voice other than your boyfriends in conversation.

“Uh, oh, is y/n here?” you can hear him asking. You don’t believe it. You thought that was the end when you broke up ages ago and that he’d quit bothering you.

“Who’s asking?” replies Hoseok, being certain not to reveal anything too soon.

“I’m [your ex’s name]... I’m uh... a friend of hers...” 

Hoseok knew instantly who he was talking to as soon as he heard the name. Whilst the two had never met, you had recently opened up to Hoseok about your past.

“Y/n you say?” replies your boyfriend, playing dumb.

“Yeah, I...”

“Well, I don’t know if this y/n was nocturnal or something but she moved out. A couple of months ago... did she not tell you that as her friend?” he challenges but still pretending to be some unknowing tenant of the house.

“Oh, right...” sighs [your ex] unsure what his next move is. “Did she leave like any details of where she moved, like a place to forward her mail, or...?”

“Afraid not fella. Have a good night anyway” Hoseok tells him, warding him away now.

Shutting the door behind him and coming back into the living room, you can’t speak. All you can do is stare at your boyfriend in shock at the ex’s appearance and mouth ‘no fucking way’ and he can see the worry on your face. He instantly comes to cuddle you on the sofa as you get emotional but he reassures you that [your ex] won’t be bothering you anymore any time soon. After all, thanks to Hobi, your ex now believes you no longer live at the address he thought you did.

Jimin

It’s all about the future

Jimin hated to see you feeling this way. Worried, emotional, even scared. There were an increasing number of incidents in which you had passed your ex: the one that flipped your world upside down and took everything away from you that was in your personality - your confidence, your self-esteem, the lot.

You had started to get back on your feet but you couldn’t shirk the feeling that either you were being followed or there was these set of coincidences that meant you saw your ex at the local shop, the park, and on one occasion, work.

So Jimin made it his duty, his mission, to help you move on. He believed that your best defence against this situation, to ward this dude off, was to show him how happy you are now, or at least show you’ve moved on. Once your ex gets the message that you’re no longer available, he won’t be as interested in the idea of pursuing you, right?

Jimin starts by just taking you on days out just because, you know, to make new memories with him. Sometimes he takes you out of town and sometimes, he takes you to some of the places you went to with your ex but at first it’s only the places that don’t hold strong memories like that one takeaway down the road that you maybe went to twice ever or that one pet store you think you walked into once like a year ago.

Once he thinks you might be feeling more up to it, one day Jimin suggests you go to that park with him for a stroll. It’s a sunny day, you should go and appreciate the nature, but... you’re hesitant

“I don’t know Jimin, it’s just that last time I went there...”

“Exactly! The last time you went there. This time it will be us going there. I’m here for you...” he replies, coming in closer for a cuddle.

“I’m always here for you now he assures you, kissing your head.

V

Pulls you in closer

Okay I may or may not have sort of based it on this even if I wrote it like 3 years ago lmao (the post’s date is actually Feb 2017 woww)

You want to run out of the local convenience store as soon as you see your manipulative ex already in there as you enter with Taehyung. Your boyfriend keeps hold of the arm you have linked through his and you wonder why he is even making you stay.

“No, no, no, don’t worry sweetheart, you’ve got this. I’m here, yeah?”

He un-links his arm from yours and instead puts his arms around your waste, keeping you close. This both makes you feel a bit safer and gives your ex a stronger signal that you’re taken. 

With Tae’s confidence and smooth acting skills, you both manage to pretend you didn’t even see your ex and he’s none the wiser. But, just to be certain about the whole making it clear you moved on thing, whenever Tae thinks you’re both within hearing distance from your ex as you navigate the store to shop for essentials, he just makes little comments to sort of hint at the life you now have with him like

“What should we get in for dinner this evening?”

“Ah, I haven’t had this wine since we sat out in our back garden...”

Before you know it, your ex is out of sight, out of mind. Taehyung is all you need to focus on to make you feel better and to have a happier life with

Jungkook

Tells him to go away

One night, you and Jungkook were sat in watching a movie. You were waiting on the takeaway order of both your favourite pizza so you were listening out for the door.

You shoot up from the couch at the sound of the doorbell, open the door, and to your shock... there stands your ex with your order.

“Oh, um, hi...” you say.

“Yeah, hi...” he replies awkwardly

Worry fills you; you aren’t even sure you can recall your ex even mentioning a job like this. Granted, it’s been a long time but still...

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yep, great” you abruptly reply, not even caring to ask about him.

“So, it’s been a while...”

“Yep”

“Uh, can I come in?” he asks, really sending panic through your system.

“No, thank you!... Mr delivery guy” you boom, sort of being over the top in your state of panic.

Jungkook hears this from the other room and decides it’s been a while for the pizza delivery person to have only brought the pizza.

“Hello?” questions Jungkook, eyeing your ex up and down as he comes to the front entrance next to you.

“Oh, hello... I...”

Something in Jungkook just sparks because he knows exactly who this dude is as you all went to the same school together.

“Listen mate, thanks for the pizza, now I think you have better things to be doing now than harassing my girlfriend...”

“I wasn’t harassing, I was just...”

“Come on, what sort of pizza man asks to come in? No. They give the pizza,get paid and leave. We have the pizza” Jungkook tells him crossing his arms. “Now leave.” 

Your ex tries to as about the payment part but Jungkook is one step ahead “And since I’m sure you wouldn’t want your boss to know about this incident... let’s say this one’s on the house, yeah?”

You were amazed at how confident your boyfriend had suddenly become all because of this situation. Usually he was so shy, never dared even speak a bad word about his older friends.

The ex admits defeat, albeit in a huff, and walks away, allowing you to finally shut the door.

“Wow, Jungkook, that was...”

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened” he laughs nervously. “I guess it was just not seeing him after all this time and I guess I didn’t realise just how angry I was about the way he treated you, and...”

“Kookie, there’s no need to say anything. Thank you”

He never really realised he had it in him, but now he knows... he really can and will protect you.

***

I don’t know why but I felt like I needed to write about this; I think it’s just that with lock down and all that, my mind sort of casts back to weird, bad and confusing times in my life because I guess I’ve been left alone a lot with my own thoughts and then there’s the bad dreams which don’t help, and sorry that’s really enough about me, I just thought I’d explain in case anyone was wondering why I would want to make this kind of piece. Also I guess I have less angsty stuff on my blog because of all the fluff and more so the smut I wrote over the years lmao

[ubernoxa]

The Token: A GNR FanFic

Chapter 3: You’re Insane

(Masterlist)

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist.

Chapter Summary: Betsie confront Michelle aka Duff about how stupid her plan is. Michelle realizes that keeping up the charade might be harder than she originally thought

Taglist: @smokeandmirrorz

“Are you fucking insane,” I looked up into the bathroom mirror to see Betsie standing behind me. She knew who I was no doubt about it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied before drying my hands.

“Give it a break Michelle, I locked the bathroom door, so it’s just you and me in here. You don’t need to keep up the act,” it was clear that Betsie had seen right through my act, but here was no way I was admitting it.

“Michelle?” I continued my charade hoping she would leave.

“Don’t play dumb bitch, I know your eyes! Don’t forget I’m the one who would do all of your eye makeup when you were apart of Pixie,” she shot back while I remained silent staring her down. Maybe if I don’t talk, she would leave?

“Oh fuck this,” it was in the moment that Betsie jumped towards me and placed her hand on my fake dick.

“Is that a sausage,” I pushed her off of my before he could continue messing with it.

“Well yeah, I’m a guy so I have a dick,” I replied trying to keep it nonchalant. Spoiler, I was failing. I wasn’t ready for someone to lunge at me and grab it.

“Jesus fucking Christ Michelle, I know it’s not real because it’s currently sliding down your leg,” she shouted back. For the first time all night I was glad that the music was loud.

It was there in the bathroom that I admitted my defeat and pulled my pants down to fix my sausage that was currently sitting at my knee.

“Didn’t know you were so religious,” was the only comment I could muster as I fixed myself. There was something wrong with adjust my sausage in front of Betsie, and by something I meant everything.

“Cut the crap, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m dressing as a guy to join a band. After I ‘left’ Pixie six months back I’ve been apart of 5 bands. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being treated different than any other male bassist ....People don’t take female musicians seriously, you know that. I just don’t understand why they treat me differently. I’m just a musician no different than them.......this was actually Walter’s idea,” by now the two of us were sitting on the countertop talking.

“He seriously recommended you to do this?”

“Why? You don’t think he would recommend it?” I quickly shot back earning a giggle from Betsie.

“I would pray he wouldn’t. He the most sane out of the three of you,” without thinking I let out a quiet snort.

“I like to think I’m pretty sane,” I teased back causing laughter to fill the bathroom.

“What?” I quickly questioned only earning more laughter from Betsie.

“You? Sane? You have a sausage taped to your fucking thigh! Sane people don’t do that,” she gestured towards the sausage.

“He meant it as a joke, but it actually worked. It was the easiest band audition I’ve ever had. We didn’t play music until like two to three hours into it. It’s different you know. Being a boy musician versus being a girl. I feel like I’m actually apart of the band, not just the token girl. They weren’t dicks when I started playing, and we just had fun!” I sent Betsie a warm smile to only receive a frown.

“You know this is wrong..right? This won’t work! I get you’re able to hide your boobs and shit, but they will find out one day. This is going to blow up in your face, and you won’t recover from it. Enjoy it while it lasts, but one day you’re going to slip up. Everything you’ve worked for will disappear, and you will forever be known as the girl who dressed as a guy to get in a band. Guys will hate you because you pretended to be one of them...they’ll probably think it’s weird as fuck. The girls though..we will never forgive you. You’re betraying all of us. You’re sending the message that a girl can’t make it unless she is a guy,” I immediately cut her off.

“I’m showing the guys that I’m just as good, maybe even better than them. I can play the drums, guitar, and bass, but you don’t see ANYONE coming and knocking on my door asking me to join their band. You wanna preach how I’m betraying girls everywhere? You wanna bring up how I’m not ‘loyal’ to the other female musicians on the strip? Take a moment to look in the damn mirror, and think about what you and Pixie did to me when I was forced to leave the group,” before I could continue, it was her turn to interrupt me.

“We didn’t force you...”

“Oh really? Don’t get on that bull shit! You kicked me out and then spread shit about me. Do you know what it’s like when you show up to an audition and everyone thinks you’re a whore? Do you know how differently guys treat you? Pixie destroyed my reputation with the bullshit lies y’all spread. Don’t you dare give me crap about how I’m betraying the girls of the strip. Y’all betrayed me a long time ago,” I shot back. Silence filled the bathroom as neither one of us was going to break eye contact.

“You can’t just throw us all in a group and blame me for what was said about you too!” Before she could continue, I interrupted her again absolutely don’t with her bull shit.

“When you sat quietly and did nothing while they spread those rumors about me, that’s when we stopped being friends. Actions speak louder than words. Your action of doing nothing spoke volumes,” I shot back.

“They would have kicked me out of Pixie, Michelle.”

“Oh shit! They would have kicked you out of the band? Pixie has never done that before! That sounds terrible...so sorry to hear,” I sarcastically replied. I wasn’t bitter, I was pissed.

“I don’t give a damn what you think of me. All I want to do is to play my bass. I want to do what I fucking love, no matter the cost,” I added breaking the silence.

Betsie nodded her head before she headed towards the door. It must have been clear to her that there was no way she could talk any sense into me that would result in me changing my mind. Before she left, she turned to me and asked, “What are you going to do if you actually make it big? You know you can’t keep this charade up forever.”

I didn’t answer. Not out of stubbornness, but because I didn’t have an answer. The truth was that I had no fucking idea.

“Just promise me you won’t forget who Michelle is,” with that final statement she left me alone in the bathroom as I pondered what the fuck just happened.

After carefully splashing some water on my face and trying to calm myself down, I was left with one question. Could I trust Betsie with my secret? As I stared myself down in the mirror, still not used to my own reflection, the answer was yes. Not because I trusted her or knew she would never betray me or some shit like that. The answer was yes because that was the only answer. I had to keep the charade going. I had to keep being Duff.

————————-

I stood in my uncle’s coffee shop sporting a brown wig as I took orders from the next customer.

The wig was rather annoying and created several problems for me during my work shift. The first was that you could tell it was a wig by the fake hairline, so I had to wear a hat at all times. The second propblem was that it was hot as hell under that wig and my head was sweating like no tomorrow. The third was that I could only pull it back in a low lose pony which sadly was the hairstyle I spotted throughout middle school. Also known as the highly debatable worst years of my life, but who know that might soon change. It all depends on if Betsie opens her big fat mouth about me dressing up as Duff.

“Did you do something to your hair Mic? It looks different?” I perked up at my Uncle’s words.

“Just dyed it. I was tired of the old color and Macy offered to do it for free,” in my defense it wasn’t a complete lie, so he shrugged it off and went back to his office to work.

“What did you really do to your hair?” My coworker Derek quizzed once my uncle left.

“Dyed it a color he wouldn’t approve of,” I answered the questions just like I practiced with Macy maybe it wouldn’t be too hard.

“Ohh how very punk rocker of you. The wig looks realistic thought, where’d you get it?”

“Stripper friend of Macy. How’d you know it was fake?”

“I saw you take you hat off to scratch you head. The hairline is a dead giveaway. Don’t worry your secret is safe with me,” he whispered before heading to the back room to do inventory.

I peeked up at the sound of the door creeping open. Great, just what I needed. I watched as Axl and Izzy cautiously walked into the small coffee shop.

I was thrown for a loop as I watched them get in line behind an older woman who was a frequent customer who seemed to be holding her purse a little bit tighter than she was moments ago.

“Be careful of those two boys behind me. I think they’re up to no good,” I smiled at the older woman and promised that I would make sure everything was going to be okay. I looked around the room and like clockwork my uncle offered to make her order. There was no doubt in my mind that he had a crush on her

“Can I help the next customer please?” I put on a fake smile as Axl and Izzy stepped forward.

“Is this a joke?” I crossed my arms as the pair stood in front of me.

“What I’m not aloud coffee?” Axl protested as he seemed determined to keep up the charade.

“Only paying customers are aloud it,” I turned to Izzy before continuing, “What are you here for?”

“Did you dye your hair? It looks different,” I took a deep breath as I nodded my head. There was no way Izzy knew I was wearing a wig.

“Yeah, Macy offered to dye it, so I thought why not. I could use the change. Now cut the small talk, why are you here?”

“We’re looking for Duff, thought you might know where to find him,” Axl admitted after a couple seconds of silence. It was weird seeing him cooperative.

“Yeah, I know where to find him. I live with him. What’s up? You kicking out of the band or some shit?”

“No, he’s one of the best bassists we have had in our band. We have a gig coming up and we wanted to tell him our new practice schedule,” Axl continued before he handed me a piece of paper. I bit my tongue hard at his comment. Interesting on how yesterday he said Michelle was only mediocre.

“Does he have a job?” Izzy’s words pulled my attention from Axl. I didn’t know why, but he was staring me down. I didn’t like it, not one but.

“Yeah, works for Walter’s father. Walter was nice enough to get him a job so he could feed himself,” I was rather proud of how casually I was able to respond with another rehearsed lie.

Izzy remained speechless, but nodded his head. By the way he was staring my down I thought he was trying to look into my soul or some shit like that. Long story short, I felt uncomfortable.

“Will he be able to make these practice times?” Axl asked breaking the awkward tension between Izzy and me.

“From what I’ve heard, he will be working mornings, but I don’t know if that is his entire schedule,” I shrugged back. I was relieved to see that the practices were all in the afternoon which worked perfectly with my work schedule.

“Practice starts tomorrow, so just have him stop by. He knows the address,” Axl and Izzy began to walked towards the door, but before they left Izzy stopped.

My heart sank as he turned around and walked back towards the counter. Luckily I was just cleaning and there wasn’t another customer.

“Do you have a pen and paper?” I raised a brow at his question.

“Yeah,” I calmly replied curious to see what he was up to.

“Don’t worry, it’s just our number so Duff can call us if he can’t make the rehearsal,” Izzy said as he seem to write a lot more than a phone number on the paper.

“See ya,” Izzy said before hurrying to join Axl who was still receiving several glares from customers.

Once they left, I opened the note which caused my heart to sink.

Duff,

Below is our number if you can’t make it to practice.

*insert number here*

- Iz

Also, blonde was a good choice Michelle, brings out the color in your eyes.

Fuck. He knew.

[sokkathebluewolf]

A review Why you do that? Making Sokka mention 28 in his vows now everyone think he slept around after the best time of his life? They both dont deserve this June slaves Hina Tylee now this Please don't make more girls fall for him involve with him feels like the whole fic turned around this Haru deserves better Tylee is flirting around

Don't get me wrong This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit I'm merely giving an opinion ''cause Gladiator has things which you handled the best There is a Reason for this success I just hope this plus 1 girl thing in Sokkla relationship Stops But I always respect you with your great work(:

You do realize how utterly laughable it is to tell me “DON’T MAKE MORE GIRLS FALL FOR HIM IT FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE FIC IS TURNING AROUND” and then say “you can do anything you feel fit, I respect your work (:”, right?

This is not respect. This is not “constructive criticism”. This is not an opinion so important and valuable that it warrants being repeated about a million times across A YEAR. Most people? They give out their opinions, negative or positive, ONE TIME, and leave it be, because what matters to them is CONVEYING how they feel, not forcing a writer to constantly explain themselves or write whatever they would be comfortable with. Actually? Most people who have given me negative opinions so far have been like that, except one guy who was outright flaming my story because he wanted to wank to it, and he couldn’t believe he had to read 97 chapters to finally reach the smut. That I’m comparing you to this reader and reviewer is PROBABLY a bad sign, don’t you think?

Sokka didn’t MENTION 28: Sokka acknowledged his past mistakes because he’s a grown man who knows to feel remorse when he hurts people he loves. That he brings up having hurt her, to this day, isn’t in the purpose of going “HEY HEY AZULA REMEMBER WHEN I BROKE YOUR HEART LOL”, it’s in the purpose of saying: “I’ve learned from my mistakes and, as it has been for YEARS, I will devote myself to NEVER hurting you again”. That, anon, is a PERFECTLY VALID SENTIMENT for a wedding vow, and one that requires far more character growth and complexity than “Lol I’m so happy we were both virgins because that is the only kind of pure love that has ever been valid in the universe, anything else doesn’t count”.

Hell, you’ve literally made me go right back to the chapter to look at what he says, exactly: “I messed things up between us over my damn stupidity”, he... is literally beating himself up about this. To this day. He’s not talking about it proudly. And yet you’re here complaining as though he were?

SPOILER: More people will have feelings for Sokka in future chapters. In fact, I want to make it even MORE people than I’d originally planned after receiving all these asks. I’d rather derail my story into something you can’t stomach reading than cater to you. Azula will outright JOKE about being “jealous” in a future chapter, and Sokka will know it’s a joke! :D And I’m NOT lying about this to mess with you, it IS going to happen and your persistent asks absolutely WON’T make me alter my content. And why is it going to happen, you’ll ask? Why, because nice, charming, charismatic guys like Sokka attract people whether they want to or not. It’s what they DO about attracting others what matters to me! :’) And that Sokka rejects other people who attempt to be with him should be, I think, a much more important message about loyalty to someone you love than “I ONLY EVER ATTRACTED ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE AND MARRIED THEM”. Because I know that’s virtually the only thing you appear willing to accept, going by the first ask.

And holy crap, Ty Lee is... flirting around? Flirting around... with Haru. The guy she’s in a committed relationship with, whom she’s going to marry. The whole situation is meant to be insanely ironic considering Ty Lee is with the guy she SHOULD be with but it looks like it’s something else? (Hell, nobody even KNOWS it was Ty Lee, Mei Xun didn’t stick around long enough to discover the woman’s identity, so her reputation’s actually safe?) But you’re just so emotionally compromised by anything regarding Sokka being with anyone else, even if it’s 1. not true because he’s MILES away, with Azula 2. a joke 3. a plot device for a FUTURE EVENT, that you just can’t grasp this irony at all?

Ty Lee, by design in this story, has ALWAYS been pretty damn liberal about flirting and relationships. Despite we’ve mainly just heard such relationships mentioned on the side, rather than witnessing them directly, she is objectively the cast member who’s had the most relationships, whether serious or casual or just occasional, with other people. And even then, she’s getting married. Even when she’s had so many people in her past, she’s settling down with Haru for good. And Haru? Haru is THRILLED. Because he loves her. Because she loves him. Because HER past does NOT have a single thing to do with THEIR future. And yet you seriously read these chapters, where Ty Lee is having a lot of fun with her fiancé, and your brain just translated this as “OMG TY LEE IS A SLUT HARU DESERVES BETTER!”? Seriously?

I feel like I’m getting asks from a childish version of Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything that isn’t straightforward needs to be explained point by point, apparently, and even then, you don’t get it. I literally went to literature school and was told to write intelligent fiction so readers would feel compelled to unravel its complexities themselves... apparently that was a big fat lie? :’) Your persistence actually has convinced me that it is.

Oh and, for future reference (because I KNOW you’ll come back, that’s all you ever do): not because you throw compliments at me later to “cushion” your complaint does it mean you’re respecting me and my story. You can’t slap someone in the face and then go “Oh your cheeks are so plump that I bet it doesn’t hurt”. You can’t just disregard my request that you keep these sorts of questions to my PERSONAL blog rather than the fic’s blog, and pretend you respect me. You can’t come to me time after time with the same complaints and attitude, watch how I’ve basically gone from initially responding with discomfort (because, in my personal blog, there are MANY asks that predate yours, where I’d already explained my reasoning to someone else who apparently didn’t get it, which means the subject wears me out, A LOT), then seeing that I started ignoring your asks, then seeing I closed the inbox so I could regain some sense of normalcy in my life that you refused to let me reclaim, and then seeing that I’m answering with outright hostility, and pretend that it’s ME who has a problem. 

If someone I respected responded in any similar manner to ANYTHING I said to them, I’d basically feel like shit and never talk to them again because I don’t want to be a burden or a problem for someone whom I value in any way. You, apparently, would rather be a problem, and to no avail, because all you’re achieving so far is convincing me to continue writing things that will make you riot until you stop reading my story. If you CAN’T stop reading regardless of the horrifying, amoral, dreadful decisions I’ve made? Congratulations: you still don’t have the right to tell me what to do with my story. And until you GENUINELY understand that, your compliments don’t mean anything to me. I have readers I value who have conveyed complaints, MANY TIMES, in an actual respectful manner. Readers who are even bothered by the same thing you are. And yet I’m even FRIENDS with them. Imagine that :’) It’s almost like the problem isn’t having whatever opinion you do... but rather, the intent of IMPOSING your opinion constantly and persistently until you’ve driven me to lash out as bluntly and cruelly as I may! To the point I’m outright saying I’m going to rewrite my story into becoming EVERYTHING you don’t want it to be so you leave me alone!

And if you’re not the one who’s been here for a year, and this is not really an echo chamber (despite all of these messages have the same complaints, wording, tone, format, style, punctuation and grammar mistakes), yet you SAW that other people have been doing this for a long time, and thought it was PERFECTLY FINE to join the party? You’re no less of an asshole than the rest of them. No matter if it’s your first time voicing your “opinion”. Because it’s NOT about what you’re saying: it’s about HOW you’re saying it. It’s about trying to guilt trip me into writing whatever you want and claiming the story is going off the rails because something makes you personally uncomfortable. This is NOT objective criticism. This is SUBJECTIVE, ENTIRELY. This isn’t a real problem in storytelling, it’s a personal problem for you because it clashes with your moral values. And NO ONE is forcing you to continue consuming content that goes against your moral values, you’re choosing to do that yourself.

If you’re to live by any of the words you said in these two asks, make it “This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit”. Because that’s literally what I’m going to do. It’s what I’ve done over EVERY complaint in poor faith I’ve gotten, ranging from “quit writing so much happiness it’s boring” to “where’s the sex you prude”. And it’s what I intend to continue doing. What kind of criticism do I value? “This particular scene features a factually contradictory line with a previous event”, such as Zuko claiming he never went to Sokka’s house when he in fact did, and I plain and simple FORGOT about it. What more kinds of criticism do I value? “You need to work out the Gladiator League’s system better because it’s not a solid business venture”, and this one was right? And yet it was too late to fix it, despite it’s 100% spot-on and I should’ve worked it out way better than I did. Another? “Sokka may have gotten over the fact that Azula captured him and tossed him in a slave market too easily”, because? It’s a perfectly valid sentiment? I disagree because Sokka is canonically shown to get over grudges relatively quickly, and yet I CAN see why it seems too fast for some people. What else do I value? Maybe suggestions on wording problems! I’ve made a lot of stupid wording mistakes, in virtue of being a non-native speaker. I’ve done my best to amend those, but it’s a work in progress even now.

Point and case being: in literature, and thus, in fanfiction? Constructive criticism isn’t “WRITE WHAT I WANT TO READ BECAUSE I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH ALL I CONSUME”. Constructive criticism is given by people who KNOW storytelling. So I’d only consider it constructive criticism if it’s given by people who can read those chapters and see that the ENTIRE purpose of that conflict is to trigger growth and development as both Sokka and Azula realize their own mistakes and shortcomings with each other. So, someone who’s giving actual constructive criticism wouldn’t come to my inbox a million times with the same complaint... someone who’s giving constructive criticism would come to my inbox, ONE TIME, and say “Hey, maybe this alternative to conveying Azula is instinctively jealous over her canonical insecurities about being a monster and earning people’s love and loyalties COULD have been preferable, despite I know you can’t change that anymore as it’s fundamental for your story”, or “Hey, I thought of another way for Sokka to convey that he realized their interest in each other could result in something TERRIBLE if they ever acted on their feelings, a way for him to not act on that specific impulse to flirt with Suki to push away Azula, but to act on ANOTHER, believable, IC Sokka-compliant impulse that might still convey exactly what you needed to”. But again, even if it were complaints like THESE? I can’t change anything anymore. It’s TOO LATE. If I think it’s too late to fix Zuko saying “lol I never went to Sokka’s house” when it’s not true? It’s WAY TOO LATE to rewrite chapters that are over SEVEN years old, and I don’t even want to do it to begin with. But I WOULD concede these criticisms. I would accept them. I wouldn’t consider them offensive to me, or my work, or disrespectful in any way.

Constructive criticism is NOT about forcing an author to agree with you, or to do whatever you ask them to. Constructive criticism is about helping an author convey what they were conveying in a better, smoother way. If you CAN’T understand what the author was conveying? You don’t qualify for offering constructive criticism. If you need explanations as to why the author did anything they did? You’re, again, not qualified to offer constructive criticism. Your criticism, in any such cases, is NOT constructive, no matter what you’re telling yourself. This is a VERY important distinction, and one you can’t pretend isn’t valid just by throwing a bunch of compliments at me after telling me I’m ruining my story.

Until the day you DO understand the difference between constructive criticism, and subjective complaints? Your opinions will not be considered valuable enough to affect my story in a positive way. And the more disrespectful you show yourself, by continuing to disregard my DIRECT request for you to stop coming back with these complaints, as well as the direct request to stop sending these questions to this blog? The less your opinions will count for me. I don’t bend over backwards for anyone. And I’m definitely not going to do it for you.

[knicole0527]

How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though .  But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

[freddiesaysalright]

Catching Up Part XI

A Joe Mazzello x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader is a writer for an entertainment news network and after Joe comes in to do an interview, they reconnect. Unexpectedly, they’re having a child together.  

Word Count: 2.9 K

Tag List: @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @jennyggggrrr @somethinginthewayiam, @grandaddy-roger-trash, @rogerloveshiscar, @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing, @danamaleksworld, @mrsmazzello, @reedusteinrambles, @rexorangecouny, @caborhapch, @kurt-nightcrawler, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @queendeakyy, @hotttspace, @anxious-diabetic, @someone-get-a-medic, @psychosupernatural, @lizvxx, @cobra-anon, @anotherhystericalqueen The story’s almost over, but it’s not too late to be added to the tag list! Let me know!

A/N: This chapter is super fluffy. But, once again, setting some important stuff. Little Joey is arriving soon! Also, special appearances from Bri and Rog in this one :)

Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV  Part V   Part VI Part VII  Part VIII  Part IX  Part X

Part XI here we go!!!

You were free of Nick, but you could not force yourself out of your anxiety about cameras. You were doing so much better now. You were at a point where Joe - but only Joe - could take your photo. After you got your closure with Nick, you allowed him to post one of you onto his Instagram. It made you nervous, and you wondered if people might discover your old shame, but you pushed that all away. Joe posted a photo of you, holding your little bump right after he’d made you laugh. It was a great shot.

That was something that helped. When Joe made you laugh, you were immediately relaxed, almost unaware that he was taking a picture at all. He knew just how to make you comfortable enough to get an amazing one of you. Even you couldn’t deny they looked good.

His captions melted your heart as well. The first photo he put up that included your face read: “This is my beautiful girlfriend. She’s amazingly brave, talented, and smart. She’s also giving me the greatest joy of my life. Y/N, I love you. I can’t wait to see our son grow up guided by the greatest mother in the world.” It got you choked up.

Everything would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for your pregnancy making you feel sick and tired all the time. Your headaches were pretty intense, and you still had nausea. You also had swelling around your ankles that you were positive couldn’t be normal. You had a doctor’s appointment before you would leave for Los Angeles, and you made a note to tell Dr. Barrow your concerns. Joe wouldn’t be going with you because he’d be in London for the UK premiere of BoRhap. You promised to send him a picture, though.

You weren’t sure you liked Dr. Barrow much. When you told him about what you were going through, he insisted it was normal pregnancy stuff. He seemed a bit uninterested and overwhelmed by the fact that he also had Dr. Jones’s patients. You felt completely dismissed and unheard.

“Dr. Barrow,” you said. “I don’t think you understand. These headaches are splitting -”

“They’re always ‘splitting’ to you ladies, aren’t they?” he returned with a tired wave of his hand. “I assure you, what you’re going through is normal.”

You frowned. “And it’s still okay for me to drive all the way to LA?”

He nodded. “Of course. As long as you get plenty of rest and continue to take your prenatal vitamins, you and your baby will be fine.”

You felt a little uneasy about him, but took his word that you’d be fine. That afternoon, when you told Joe about it over FaceTime, he seemed concerned, but unsure how to handle it.

“I guess we have to trust him,” he said. “He’s the professional.”

You shrugged. “I suppose so. Hey, do you want to see the picture?”

“Of course!”

You held up the sonogram. “Behold, my love, your child.”

He chuckled. “Aw, he’s amazing! I miss you two.”

“We miss you too,” you replied. “But I’m sure you’re having loads of fun in London.”

He began excitedly telling you what he and  the guys had been up to. You smiled and listened carefully, laughing a few times. Your hand rested limply on your baby bump, phone dangling from the pop socket. All of a sudden, Joey gave a mighty kick, knocking your phone right out of your hand and it slid onto the bed.

“Joey!” you gasped, poking him gently. “That was rude!”

“Baby?” Joe’s voice came from somewhere in the covers. “What just happened?”

You picked up your phone and held it properly. “Your son just kicked the phone out of my hand.”

He laughed. “Wow, he’s a strong boy.”

“This is hardly congratulatory behavior,” you returned.

“Is he still moving?” he asked. “I wanna see.”

You lowered phone to your protruding belly, and focused the camera so he could see Joey’s little feet popping up. Joe gasped.

“It only gets more awesome every time I see it!” he said.

“Do you miss your daddy, Joey?” you cooed to your belly. “I miss him too.”

“I’ll be home soon,” he said as you brought the phone up to your face again. “Just one more day and then I’ll be on a plane.”

Shortly after, you said goodnight and tried to get some sleep. It felt awfully lonely in the house by yourself, but you took comfort in the fact that Joe would be home soon. Then you would start your first family road trip.

You followed the premiere coverage from your desk at work. Several people were watching, since you worked in entertainment. Emily sat with you, shaking her head in amazement.

“I can’t believe you’re going to the one in LA,” she said. “It looks so glamorous.”

“Or terrifying,” you said with a gulp.

You could see all the cameras and flashing lights as Joe and the rest walked down the carpet and into the theater. Your heart gave a nervous flutter.

“Oh, Joe’s talking,” she said. “Turn it up.”

You did so and you caught that the reporter was asking about you and the baby.

“Yeah, Y/N is doing great and so is the baby,” he said, beaming. “I’m so excited, I feel like I have so many blessings right now. Between this film and having a family, I just...I can hardly believe I’m so lucky.”

“How did you meet Y/N?” the reporter asked.

“We actually knew each other as kids!” Joe told her. “Fourth grade. We were friends and then she moved away, but we found each other again through work.”

“Wow, that’s amazing!” the reporter said.

“Right?” Joe agreed. “Where’s our Hallmark movie?”

She laughed. “So, are you two hearing wedding bells?”

“We’ve talked about it, and we know we want to commit to each other,” he said. “No plans to bite that bullet just yet though. We’re focused on getting the baby here.”

“That’s a good thing to focus on,” she said. “Thanks for talking with us, Joe. And congratulations!”

“Thank you!” he returned and walked over to the next camera.

Emily sighed. “The way he talks about you is so sweet. I mean, his eyes just light right up. That must be so nice.”

You smiled. “It’s wonderful. He’s wonderful.”

Forty-eight hours went by, and before you knew it, you and Joe were on the road, heading west to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to stop and sight see because you were on a tight schedule to make it there in time for the premiere. Even so, Joe made it fun. He told you a bit about LA, since you’d never been before. Nervous as you were about the premiere, you were excited to be there with Joe.

The night of the premiere came. You and Joe were staying with Rami and Lucy. You honestly considered pretending to be ill to get out of it. You were so nervous, your body shook. Lucy had to help you into your dress and do your hair because you were just unable.

“Y/N, if you can’t do this, you don’t have to go,” Lucy said gently as she laid a curl across your shoulder. “Joe will understand.”

“No, I promised him I would,” you insisted. “Besides, like Joe always tells me, I can do anything.”

She smiled. “You two are adorable.”

“How do you do this, Lucy?” you asked. “What a good trick to keep in mind?”

“Focus on one thing at a time instead of the big picture,” she advised. “That way it doesn’t seem like so much. Stick close to Joe, and you’ll be alright.”

You nodded.

When you met Joe and Rami downstairs, they both gaped at the two of you.

“You look wonderful,” Rami said to his girlfriend. “You both do.”

“Lucy looks wonderful,” you returned playfully. “I look like a planet.”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about,” Joe said, feigning offense.

You all chuckled.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said seriously, kissing you on the cheek. “I love you.”

The four of you headed out to the awaiting limo to take you to the theater and the premiere. You felt so on edge that even a bump in the road made you grip Joe’s hand tighter. You hadn’t gotten to try having other people take photos and videos of you, and you were unsure if you could handle it.

“Fuck, I wish I could drink,” you said under your breath.

Joe laughed. “I wish you could too. I’m pretty sure you’re breaking my fingers.”

“Imagine what it’ll be like during childbirth,” Rami joked.

“Oh please, childbirth isn’t nearly as bad as they make it out to be in movies,” you said.

“You’re not scared, Y/N?” Lucy wondered.

You looked at her and shrugged. “Not really, no. My body is made to do it. And with an epidural, I won’t feel much besides pressure.”

She looked impressed. You gave Joe’s hand another nervous squeeze.

“I’m gonna check your pulse,” he said. “You still have feeling in your fingers?”

You nodded. “So far.”

“That’s good,” he said gently. He pressed his fingers to your neck. “Definitely got a quick pulse, but you’re doing so well, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“I hope you’re not speaking too soon,” you muttered.

“I’m not,” he told you. “We’ve arrived.”

The car came to a stop. You sucked in a breath and looked wildly at him.

“You guys go,” he said to Rami and Lucy. “We’re right behind you.”

They shuffled out of the car. Joe took your face in his hands and held your gaze fiercely.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said. “Everyone here loves you. You got this. Stay with me.”

You nodded. He placed a swift peck on your lips. He moved so he could exit the car first. When he opened the door, you gulped. He stepped out, and you briefly considered telling the driver to go and take you with him. But you would not abandon Joe. Carefully, you scooted to the door, sticking one foot out and letting it hit the carpet. You reached out your hand, and Joe’s found it. You held your swollen belly and Joe practically lifted you out of the car.

The roar was deafening. The cameras clicked, reporters shouted questions, and music blasted from somewhere else. You held Joe’s arm and took a deep breath. The car pulled away as you stepped forward and you were forced to resign yourself to it.

You glanced at the cameras and felt your stomach drop. Joe’s arm secured you around your waist and you met his eyes.

“Stay with me,” he said again, and kissed your temple.

You let him lead you down the carpet closer to the cameras. Joe walked up to the first reporter, who was from the LA office of Everything Entertainment. You beamed at his consideration. He thought that if you knew the company you were talking to, you might feel more comfortable.

“We’ve been dying to see your beautiful baby mama up close, Joe,” the reporter said before grinning at you. “You look stunning.”

“Th-thank you,” you managed.

“How far along are you?” she asked.

“Just over six months,” you replied.

“Really?” she gasped. “You seriously look great to be six months pregnant. When’s the due date?”

“February 20th,” Joe answered.

“You guys excited?”

“We’re positively giddy,” he said.

The next few interviews went similarly. You found yourself relaxing more and more each minute. Everyone told you how great you looked, and you let yourself believe them. The security of having Joe beside you made you feel at home. Then, you saw two people who made your heart skip a beat: Brian May and Roger Taylor. You slapped Joe’s arm with excitement.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Holy shit,” you breathed, nodding your head toward them.

“Oh, yeah, let’s go say hi,” he said, grabbing your hand and taking you over.

They were talking to the rest of the cast already so you were grateful you could blend in. Joe clearly wasn’t letting that happen.

“Bri, Rog,” he said. “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My wonderful girlfriend who is having my baby.”

They both shook your hand and smiled kindly at you. You opened your mouth to say hello, but at that moment, little Joey kicked out once more. You gasped and clutched it.

“You alright?” Joe asked.

“He’s kicking,” you returned. “I guess he wants to say hello too. You guys wanna feel?”

They both agreed and placed their hands softly on your belly. You could hardly believe the founding members of Queen were gushing over your baby bump. They also told you you looked beautiful.

“A little boy, yeah?” asked Roger

You nodded. “Little Joey!”

“Very sweet,” said Brian. “Congratulations, to both of you.”

He hugged you and kissed your cheeks. Roger followed suit. Now you really thought you might faint.

Ben came bounding over to you suddenly. He embraced Roger first, then Brian, and then he practically tackled Joe, kissing his neck. Joe laughed, clapping Ben on the back as they swayed together for a moment.

“I missed you, mate,” Ben said.

“It’s been like five days,” Joe returned. “But that is five days too long, huh?”

Ben nodded and then came over to you. He grinned and rubbed your belly as he hugged you.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said.

“Hi, Ben,” you returned.

“You feeling alright?” he wondered.

You smiled and nodded. Gwilym came over next and greeted you just as warmly, though without nearly knocking Joe off his feet. He also kissed your cheek.

“Hi, Y/N,” he said. “You look so lovely. How’s the baby?”

“He’s fantastic,” you said. “Thank you for asking.”

Allen approached next, extending his hand politely before introducing himself. “It’s great to finally meet you in person!”

“You too!” you agreed.

When Rami and Lucy joined, the photographers started yelling, desperate for a shot of everyone together with Brian and Roger. You started to back out of the frame, but Joe and Ben each took one of your arms and forced you back in. You giggled and accepted it. You truly didn’t think this night could get any better.

The movie was fantastic. You were a sobbing mess by the end of it, because they told the story well, and you were so incredibly proud of these people who had become your friends. You felt it was a great success.

The afterparty was also so fun. Originally, you had planned to go back to Rami and Lucy’s, but Joe insisted on going to the afterparty. He said it was going to be great and you needed to be there. Rolling your eyes, you indulged him, but you really did end up having a great time. They got Queen karaoke going, and Joe was perhaps the most enthusiastic of everyone.

“If I could have everyone’s attention for a second,” Joe said, when  the party was in full swing. “I have a little dedication I’d like to make to my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N. This song is called Misfire and it’s written by John Deacon.”

Everyone laughed, including you, but the music didn’t start.

“I’m kidding,” he said. “I’m not singing Misfire. But, Y/N, if you could join me up here.”

Rami helped you to your feet and onto the stage. Your heart was beating wildly as you felt the room of eyes on you. You turned to Joe, holding his gaze.

“Y/N,” he said, and you saw tears begin to form in his brown eyes. “This is a really special night, for a few reasons. First is the release of our wonderful film, Bohemian Rhapsody. Second is...well...I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love a person. And you’re giving me something that I can never even hope to repay you for. Our son.”

“Joe…” you sighed, choking up.

“Hold on, I’m not finished,” he said. “I knew from the minute I met you - back in fourth grade - that no matter what happened, we’d be together. It was just a physical law of the universe. The years and geography kept us apart, but we’ve certainly done a lot of catching up since then.” The crowd chuckled. “I don’t want to waste any more time.”

He sank to one knee and your heart leapt to your throat. He pulled a ring from his pocket and held it out to you as you - and everyone else - gasped. The ring was beautiful. The stone was not a diamond, but a pearl. It was unique, like you and Joe, and your story.

“Y/N,” he began again. “Will you marry me?”

You could barely form words. Your brain buzzed with elation. Slowly, you nodded, tears falling from your eyes.

“Yes!” you finally choked out and he slipped the ring on your finger. “Oh my God, Joe, yes!”

He leapt to his feet and pulled you in for the kiss of a lifetime. This kiss was the seal of your promise to each other. The people around you erupted into applause. Ben whistled loudly. You and Joe came down the steps together, immediately getting hugs and kisses from your friends. But nothing else mattered when you locked eyes with Joe again. He was it for you. Your whole future. Your whole heart. Everything was just you and Joe.

[popatochisssp]

dunno if this is a weird one, but do the skeles have any hangups/insecurities about their own bodies? i absolutely adored the post you made on their appreciation of physical attributes in their s/o, but it brings to mind the potential of feeling self-conscious themselves, maybe especially with a human s/o whose body is so fundamentally different from their own?

As a matter of fact, they do have a couple of physical insecurities!

Below the cut for length…

Sans (Undertale): With a human partner especially, he worries about being too hard. He’ll be the first to throw a ‘that’s what she said’ joke in there, but it really is a genuine concern of his– comfort and being comfortable is a big deal for him so he wants his loved one to be comfortable too…and they’re a soft, squishy human hugging and kissing and cuddling a hard, bony skeleton. He’s very conscious in those moments of how he’s pressing up against his s/o and where he might be poking them with a rib or something. Once he starts seriously dating them, they may start to notice him wearing fluffier clothing, even just to bed, trying to counteract the hardness and keep everybody as comfy as possible.

Papyrus (Undertale): He worries a lot that his skull isn’t expressive enough. He can manipulate his skull a little bit, but his jaw isn’t very malleable and it’s hard to convey quite the same levels of expression and nuance that humans can. If his s/o is a human, it’s something he might get self-conscious about, worrying that they may find him hard to read at times or sending off incorrect signals to them. What if he’s angry about something and they think he’s happy because he still pretty much always looks like he’s smiling? Or what if he is happy, but they think he’s angry because he’s not conveying enough of a difference to them? It seems like a little thing, but he actually spends a lot of time thinking about it and putting more effort into his body language and gestures to compensate.

Sky (Underswap Sans): Really conscious of how often he’s mistaken for a kid. He has bright eye-lights and a chipper smile and isn’t that tall (5′3″ with static instead of relative heights). A lot of people see that and think ‘kid’ before ever hearing him open his mouth. If it’s not ‘kid’ then it’s ‘adorable’ and that’s…really not what he wants to be thought of as by his s/o. He’s a grown-ass skeleton and he wants to be taken seriously as one so he gets a little self-conscious if they ever call him ‘cute’ or do anything like…teasing him with baby-talk for whatever reason. It’s a real blow to his ego, actually… He generally doesn’t care what people think of him, but when it’s his s/o, it affects him and he’ll start to watch his behaviors a little more trying to avoid anything that could be considered childish– games, activities, certain styles of clothing, no matter how much he may enjoy something if he thinks his s/o might make fun of him for it, even jokingly, he might start to avoid it. So if you’re his s/o……don’t do that?

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): He’s worried that he maybe looks a little bit too much like a human skeleton, especially when his partner is human. He likes that he and his s/o both sorta share the same basic structure– he actually thinks that’s really cool– but he also knows that skeletons remind humans of their inevitable demise and he worries that his s/o isn’t gonna find it as neat as he does. The thought that they might look at him and think about the fact that they’re gonna die one day instead of…y’know, actually seeing him, it…it hurts a little bit and it’s something he worries about more than he’d like to admit.

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He’s, uh…he’s a little wide-set? He’s a very broad guy and like the other Sanses, not particularly tall in order to balance it out, so pretty much any clothing he wears is gonna hang on him in a particular way and make him look like he’s…well, like he’s fat. He didn’t really care about it as much Underground, that kind of thing was never important to monsters, but up on the surface, it seems like people care a lot about looking skinny and he just…doesn’t. Ironic, he’s literally a skeleton, and that just makes him feel dumber for even letting it matter to him, but he doesn’t want his s/o catching any hell for dating a skeleton that looks fat, or worse– his s/o taking issue with it. He’s not gonna say anything about it and there’s really not much he could even do about it…but it is something he’s more aware of than he’d like to be.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’s self-conscious about the scars over his eye-socket. Whenever they come up, he brags about them because they’re glorious battle scars, of course! …But privately, he thinks of them as a personal failure that he took a hit that literally disfigured him and gets very quiet and shy whenever his s/o touches them or even around them. They embarrass him and he worries that his partner thinks they’re as ugly as he thinks they are, but since there’s not much he can do to hide them he just pretends like he’s proud of them or doesn’t care when he really, really does.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): He’s extremely conscious of his claws with a human s/o. There’s no such thing as a thoughtless touch from him, he is always, always aware of how and where he’s touching them so that he doesn’t accidentally nick that delicate human skin of theirs. Even in rough moments when some clawing may actually be encouraged, he’s still hyperaware of what he’s doing with his hands so he doesn’t slip up and hurt them more than he intends to. It sounds courteous– and it is– but there’s also a pretty negative psychological component that tends to accompany it, that he feels like he was born to inflict pain and can never just touch his partner or that’s what he’ll do to them without even meaning to.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): Very shy about his gold tooth, mostly because of the story behind how he got it. It was a really stupid thing, he was young and wasn’t paying attention and somebody clocked him pretty hard and knocked it out. His bro helped him replace it and then rained unholy vengeance upon the monster that dared to attack him in the first place, but he’s just really embarrassed by the whole thing because he feels like it was his own fault. If he hadn’t been so careless, he’d still have the tooth and it feels like such a little thing, but he sees it in the mirror every day and has to remember that time he had to come crying home to Mal with a missing tooth all because he let himself space out and got sucker-punched by the first opportunistic monster to walk by. Dumb. Dumb and avoidable, he’d rather just forget it ever happened…

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Shouldn’t be too surprising, but his whole…skull-situation is the thing he tends to be most self-conscious about. The jagged hole is part of it, but so is the giant red eye-light in just one socket, which somehow makes it look scarier and he’s very aware of that. He’s glad for his height giving him an excuse to avoid eye-contact with people because the looks of intimidation and fear are…really not great for his self-esteem, lots of hurt feelings, and that’s just when it’s strangers. He’d be devastated if he ever accidentally spooked his s/o because the last thing he’d ever want is for them to look at him like he’s something to be afraid of– much as he sometimes feels he’d deserve it.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Depends entirely on what portion of his life he meets his s/o in. If it’s before he’s gotten his braces, then yeah, it’s his teeth, he’s very self-conscious about those. They’re crooked and jagged and…very unpleasantly stained and tend to terrify people on sight. He doesn’t like being thought of as scary any more than his brother does and his teeth are only like that because of a long story with a lot of painful baggage attached to it, so the whole thing is just very upsetting for him to even think about. Post-dental work, though, the thing he’s most concerned about is his height. He slouches and bends down a lot to accommodate more averagely sized people, but he knows that his full height is probably a little intimidating or awkward for his s/o and he just…really hopes it isn’t too off-putting to them. It’s something he thinks about a lot.

[rogerina-yee-haw]

“at least I’m one”

sd!gwilym lee x reader

chapter 6: “- the happiness”

[the goodbye] [the sadness & tenderness] [the broken rules and true affection] [the pain and eternal bliss] [the anticipated sweetness]

summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.

word count: 4,3K+

warnings: fluffy fluff, angst, mentions of negative body image, mentions of abuse, typos

a/n: well, this is it!! it’s been almost three months since i posted “the goodbye” chapter, and now alio is over!! yikes!! 

but, seriously. i can’t thank all of you enough. you’ve shown amazing support to this fic and it caught me completely off guard. it’s my first fic in English that i’ve finished (sorry, “Truth or Dare” kssjsjdksksjsk) and i’m so thankful for all of you. i have found amazing friends through this fic, through this fandom - and i’m really, really thankful for the love and support you have for alio. thankuthankthanku. i love you all dearly, and hope that you will enjoy the last chapter. i’m still going to write some side pieces to the fic, but for now, alio is over. again, i love you all so much and thank u.

p.s. hope this chapter doesn’t suck ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Whatcha doin'?"

You raise your head from the book to look at Gwil - he stands in the doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily and wearing nothing but boxers. He looks so soft and sweet, that you can't quite process the fact that he's all yours. It all still feels like a dream.

"Reading".

"At three in the morning?" his eyebrows rise, as he comes closer to the couch and takes a seat right near you; Gwil doesn't seem to be bothered about personal space at all - he sits down so that your hips are touching. 

"What's wrong?" Gwilym brushes your cheek with his fingers, looking at you worriedly.

You put the book on the tea table in front of the couch, and turn yourself to Gwil so that you're facing each other. "Nothing".

"Something's wrong, I know it", he insists, and you sigh. "C'mon, love. Tell me".

Can he get any more perfect? you think to yourself while looking at him. How is it possible that he knows something is wrong before you even tell him? Is he some kind of psychic or something?

"Are you some kind of psychic or something?" you repeat your thoughts out loud; Gwil chuckles and licks his lips.

"That's the ultimate dream of mine, y'know", he's even closer right now; his hand is on your thigh, squeezing it gently, while his other hand cups your cheek, "being a psychic, read people's minds", the corners of your mouth quirk up at Gwil's attempt to joke. "But I'm not, in reality", he says softly, "I just feel that something is wrong". Gwilym is silent for a moment; his gaze wanders all over your body, stopping to look at your hands that are covered with the long sleeves of your hoodie. He sighs deeply, adding another thing to many of his suspicions about your weird behavior. "You've been ignoring me for the past two days. Just tell me what I've done wro-"

"It's not you, baby", you don't let him finish. "It's just..." you stutter for a moment. "I still can't process that. Still can't believe we're here. Getting married, and just... Being together. Like a normal couple".

Gwil lowers his head to look you in the eyes; his hand is still on your face. "Baby", he brushes his thumb over your cheek slowly, "what are you afraid of?"

It's weird. Weird how he feels you, knows you. Before you could even think about it, he already knows the answer. You're scared. You've been in a serious relationship before, but it turned out to be complete garbage. You loved too much and got hurt terribly. You don't want to witness the moment when tenderness leaves Gwil's eyes and he falls out of love with you. You're afraid of losing him - you almost did, and it made you go nuts - and you don't ever want for this to happen again. The love you have for him is immeasurable, and you're scared that once this bliss will go away. You're scared he'll stop loving you.

"I don't want to lose you", your voice is almost a whisper, but Gwil hears it. And it breaks his heart to know that you think this way.

"You won't", he reassures you, "I'll always be here. You'd get tired of me first", Gwilym jokes, and the corners of your mouth turn up, giving him a small smile.

"I can hardly believe that", you mutter, turning your head away and losing Gwil's touch on your face. He furrows his brows; he doesn't understand what's going on.

It's been five days since the two of you came back from Dublin and two days since you've been acting weird. Your mood would swing from happiness to crying in the bathroom. You wouldn't talk to him. You wouldn't let him touch you. The two of you barely kissed - Gwil only got quick pecks on the lips before going to work. You were never like this: you were always affectionate and loving towards him (and everybody) and seeing such a shift confused Gwilym to no end. When he woke up several minutes ago without you in bed, he immediately thought that you left him - for ever. That's the only thing that's been going on his mind for the past two days.

"Do you regret it?" the words leave his mouth before he can stop them. Your brows knit and you look at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you regret being with me?" Gwil is everything but calm now. "Do you regret saying "Yes"? Do you regret all of it?"

Your breaths quickened at his words. "Why would you even say this?"

"Because that's what I'm afraid of", he is silent for a moment. "I'm scared of you just pretending. I know you're not - I trust you and I love you and I know that you love me - but I'm scared that you don't want to be with me. That you'd better be free now, doing something - being with someone else. I'm afraid you regret all of it, like everything that happened in between us - I'm just so scared that it's not-"

"Gwil", you cup his cheeks before he can say something else. "I don't regret it", his eyes are glistening with tears. You hate it. "None of it, baby. I love you so much, it's even impossible for me-", you sigh. "I'm scared that you regret being with me".

"Why would I ever regret being with you?"

"Because it's me. I'm not like every other girlfriend you had. I'm not skinny, not pretty, not-"

"Woah", Gwilym takes your face in his hands and examines it thoroughly. "Don't say that. You're amazingly beautiful. Mesmerizing. Y/N, I haven't been dating anyone for some good amount of years. Or what-" he looks you in the eyes, "you think Zoe was my girlfriend? Or, god forbid, Alice?" Gwil huffs. "No. That's the point. I fell in love with you immediately, like it was something in my mind telling me to come and talk to you. I'm not going to - I won't ever say bullshit like "You're not like other girls" and shit, but, baby, you're so fucking special to me. Everything about you is unique. You've changed my life in so many ways, and there you are, sitting here, and telling me that you're not pretty enough for me?" you sigh deeply, and he licks his lips, a grin creeping onto his face. "How dare you, Mrs. Lee".

You raise a brow and look at him, startled. "Mrs. Lee?"

"Soon to be", Gwil smiles softly. "Only if you want to", he adds quickly.

"’Course I want to", you bite your lip, and Gwil feels his cock twitching in his boxers. "Wouldn't ever follow you to Dublin and lose my job if I didn't want to".

Gwil kisses your forehead and intertwines his fingers with yours. "Please, don't push me away if you feel insecure. Please". He puts his forehead to yours and looks you in the eyes. "You're everything I've ever wanted. I love you, Y/N", you can feel a lump in your throat.

"I'm just-"

It's been building up for so long.

You have never been following the standards of beauty. But you did that unknowingly when you were a teenager; you had all of it that every magazine required from a woman - a flat stomach, a skinny body, and long, perfect hair. But you never saw it - you were drowning so deeply in your insecurities, that you saw yourself only as something "fat and disgusting". It took you a lot of time to come through this terrible period when you considered fatness to be something awful; it never has been awful, and you're happy to know this now. But no matter how much you stood up for body positivity since you've learned about it, no matter how many times you've been praising your friends' bodies and souls, you could never bring yourself to this concept of "self-love". For many years, especially when those ones you had spent with Luke, you've been asking yourself daily, "What is self-love?"

Your mother couldn't explain it to you. Your sister couldn't. Your best friend since the university days, Janet, put it as, "Self-love is when you love yourself. Easy, right? Very easy, Y/N. You just gotta look at yourself in the mirror and see how perfect you are. You've got big boobs, nice ass, thick thighs - well, a bit of extra weight on your stomach, but that's fixable - come on, how can you not love yourself? You have to remember that if you don't love somethin' about yourself - you can fix it. Lose weight and shit. But it shouldn't ever make you insecure! Guys love thick girls too!".

Janet has always been a bit of an asshole, as Billy puts it up. You used to tell him off for such words, but after her speech on body positivity, you stopped. You knew Janet meant only well, but her words made you feel worse. "If you don't love somethin' about yourself - you can fix it". It was echoing in your head every day. When you looked in the mirror especially.

When you were a teenager, you saw a lot of extra weight in yourself, you were never able to see yourself as you really looked. James never actually complimented you, but he loved to tell you, "How fuckin' big ya tits are, babe, just fuckin' made fo' me to touch". Some years later your therapist would tell you it wasn't a compliment. At least, not the type of compliment to help in your self-esteem increase.

These words were steady, always at your side when you and Luke were together. He used to praise you, but this praise was never genuine - it was when he was guilty and tried to buy your trust back or when he needed something from you. He told you that you had an amazing body and later that day said you needed to lose weight - as he would state that - because he was ashamed to go out with "Such a whale".

You starved yourself for days. Tried to keep up with this "diet" when the only thing you could "eat" was water. You never stuck to it for too long, though. Your mum and Becca always made you eat - and you were grateful for this. But you still felt terrible. You couldn't love yourself. Even though you were sure everyone is beautiful, you never thought that you were too.

Several years later, when you were twenty-three - just some days before you met Gwilym - you and Billy were at one of the family gatherings when you asked him about self-love. You remember him being silent for a moment; when the two of you sat down on the bed in your childhood room, he sighed deeply. "I have no fucking idea, Y/N", he said in a shaky voice. "I can't say I love myself. I mean, sure, I work out and I got abs and muscles and girls fall for it, but-", Billy stuttered, looking at you. "All of it doesn't make me love myself. I don't know what self-love is, to be honest". He lied down on the bed and you did the same; you heads on the pillows were touching and both of you were looking at the ceiling. "Mum always says that no one would love you if you don't love yourself".

"Do you agree with it?"

Billy shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. It feels like truth, but whenever I shag a girl and she tells me how hot I am-"

"Jesus, ew".

"Yeah", he chuckled. "I have the same reaction all the time. Always ask myself, 'Is she really into me? Why is she into me? Is this because I'm ripped?'"

"Have you found the answer?"

He sighed, leaning in closer to you, so your shoulders were touching too. "Not yet. I'm just thinking, Y/N - how does it feel to love yourself? What should happen in your life that you just wake up and... Feel it? Feel that you don't look like shit, feel that your body doesn't have imperfections. How does this happen?"

You gave a half shrug. "I don't know. But from what I've read and what my therapist told me - self-love isn't about seeing yourself as something "perfect". It's about accepting your flaws and loving them. It's about accepting yourself, no matter what you look like".

"Oh, I get it", Billy answered quietly, "I've read about such shit on Twitter".

"Not the best source".

He shushed you. "There was like a thread - I don't remember exactly everything, but there was this thing that got into my mind. It said, that no matter how ripped you are, no matter how much you look like these Victoria's Secret's models - if you don't love yourself, you'd still hate the person in the mirror. Even if you look "perfect".

You nodded and let out a deep sigh. "Well, that's true. I mean, you look like a fucking bodybuilder and still hate yourself".

"At least I'm not the one listening to my bitch of a friend who says I have to lose weight to look good".

You poked him in the ribs playfully, and both of you smiled.

"Alright, we're both fucked up, I admit it", Billy replied. "Let's make a deal".

You turned your head to look him in the eyes. "What kind of deal?"

"Let's try loving ourselves", he said in a soft voice. "Let's say something nice to the reflection in the mirror. Maybe something dumb like, "That dick is poking out good today" or whatever. You can say the same 'bout your nipples".

"Why do you always have to make it sexual, Billy?"

"Oh, come on, Y/N!" he said loudly, propping onto his elbows. "That's the bare minimum! And I make it sexually related because I don't know what to praise in myself except for the dick. Not yet", he added quietly.

"At least, you admit you can praise your dick. I hate every part of my body. I don't know how it’s even possible".

"I would say that you have nice tits, but it would sound really weird".

"You already fucking said it, you dumbass".

"Y/N, look-", he was determined to convince you, "everyone hates something 'bout themselves. But we've gotta work on that. We've gotta get out of this pit full of hatred and self-pity, just 'cause-", he stuttered, "just 'cause if we don't - we won't end up well. And that's certainly isn't something anyone wants".

"Come on, Y/N", he continued when you didn't respond, "I know it's hard to believe it, but you're really fuckin' gorgeous. But what's most important is that your beauty isn't the only thing to admire. You graduated with honors, you can outsmart anyone everywhere - and you're literally throwing good opportunities away because you're insecure. Remember that job you were offered last month?" you nodded. "You fuckin' declined the offer. ‘Cause you're too scared you won't fit in. It's written all over your face that you think everyone would discuss how fat you are".

"How'd you know that?" you mumbled.

"'Cause you wear nothing but baggy clothes all the time!" Billy almost yelled. "You've got a nice body down there - I have never checked you out in my life - 'cause it's disgusting - and I know it because everyone's body is beautiful. Isn't it a thing you're telling everybody on a daily basis?"

You let out an exasperated sigh, even though you knew Billy was right.

"A bit hypocritical, innit, Y/N?"

"Alright, alright, yeah", you said finally. "I admit, I don't even try to love myself".

"And you're too scared of the society's attention", Billy added. "Like, remember our senior ball? You looked really good in that pink dress. The makeup though? T'was great, made me feel jealous I didn't wear that eyeshadow instead of you", his comment made you laugh. "Everyone was startled, but when Jemma Cham said you looked ugly... You only saw that. You always see only the bad things, Y/N, and ignore the good ones. That's what I meant. You should start appreciating the good things around you, at least", you both looked at each other for a while, before Billy rested his head on the pillow again. "Come on, mate. Let's make a deal".

His pinky finger was at your face in an instant; and sighed deeply and gave up. At least, Billy wasn't offering to do something terrible.

"Let's say good things about ourselves every day", he said, when you gave him a pinky promise. "No hate, no irritation - just the good things. Agreed?"

You nodded, smiling at him. "Promised".

"Alright", he said. "I'll start. I will try to love my first name, that my poor, fangirling mother gave me twenty-three years ago when she thought Billy Bob Thornton to be the best manin the world".

"It still sucks. Try something else, bub".

Billy sighed. "You don't make it any better, Y/N".

You were bad at keeping promises. Of course, you tried to start this journey to the anticipated self-love - and, to be honest, you hated yourself a bit less now. You acknowledged that your body had some good sides; you started to understand that stretch marks weren't a bad thing. Especially after Gwil kissed all over your inner thighs with stretch marks on them the first time you had sex. Gwilym made you feel a lot better about your body - he never stopped worshipping it and telling you how good you looked, no matter what you wore. That made you feel better. But only before you met Alice.

Of course, now Alice isn't a problem - she's being charged with breaking and entering into Gwil's apartment and won’t ever bother the two of you - but she certainly had been a problem in the past. With her long, beautiful black hair, perfect body and witty personality - you felt like you were out of the competition. She had made an impression on you during your multiple encounters - that one on Christmas, in the pub where you were with Billy and Janet, in the mall, or when you were grocery shopping... The last one wasn't quite good, though.

"Doesn't Gwil give you money to go to some better places for shopping?" she asked, while the two of you stood near the shelves with vegetables.

"I've gotta the same question to you", you muttered under your breath, trying to ignore her presence by looking at the price of tomatoes.

"Oh, my mum asked me to buy something for her here", you looked over at her shopping cart; something about it told you it wasn't for Alice's mother. "I don't go grocery shopping at all. Gwil has bought me a maid for it. And for cleaning my flat too".

You had to restrain yourself from laughing. Of course. "That's very kind of him", you said, turning to face her. "Guess, he gave all of his money to you, since he can't hire someone to fix up his place", a muscle in Alice's jaw twitched. "You've been to his flat, right? It's a mess", you looked at her with innocence written all over your face, "he can't even do laundry or wash this pile of dishes - that's how busy he is. And still, there is no maid helping him out. Maybe you'll share yours with him?"

Alice was almost burning; her face went completely red and she was heavily breathing. "Maybe you will do it?" she asked a couple of seconds later when she got herself together. "You've got quite a personality for it".

You frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"People like you..." Alice looked you up and down. "Are just destined to be the second best. No, probably, even the tenth best. But never the first".

Alice won back then. She made you feel terrible in every way possible, and - it was pretty stupid, as you thought - you couldn't stop remembering about this moment now especially. You never tend to be the first. Never. Never. Never.

"Baby", Gwil whispers, looking into your eyes, "what is it?"

You close your eyes and sigh deeply. His hands are on your cheeks, and his touch is so tender and soft that it makes your eyes swim with tears. This is too much. He is too much. No one has ever cared about you like this before. 

It all has been building up for so long - probably since you were a teenager. 

James never understood the basics of human nature, never understood why you needed his shoulder to cry on, why you needed his constant reassurance that he loved you. And Luke... Luke is a different story. He would tell you he loves you, and the next moment you were crying on the floor because at this specific time he hit you too hard. Luke was never caring or loving. Luke was - and still is - harsh and cruel, violent. And even after ten months with Gwil, you're still not used to being admired, worshipped. You still aren't used to being loved.

"I'm just-", you barely open your mouth, when you feel the lump in your throat. You're afraid that the next time you open your mouth - you'll be choking on tears.

"What's wrong?" even though your eyes are closed, you can still feel Gwilym looking at you. He's worried, sad and anxious. He's still scared that you're going to get up and leave him forever. Gwil thinks that he won't ever get rid of this fear. "Baby", he presses his forehead to yours; you bite the inside of your cheek just to stop the tears - but they uncontrollably stream down your face anyway. "I understand. You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. You don't have to" when Gwil repeats it, your eyes are flushed open.

"No, I-" wow, you really are choking on tears, "I want to. I just...don't know how". You're crying - sobbing now, actually - and Gwil still has his hands on your cheeks. Because he knows that you need his touch. Need it more than anything. "No one has ever - ever cared about me as you do. And I don't know - I don't know where to start, what to say - I just-" you stutter again, unable to continue. You feel as if all the oxygen has been taken from - you can't fucking breathe.

Gwil kisses your forehead and pulls you closer, putting his hands around you. You nuzzle his neck, tears glistening on his skin in the dim light of the living-room. You feel warm and safe - and for the first time in your life, you feel comfortable crying. He holds you close, stroking your hair and whispering sweet nothings. That's the thing you've been craving from James and Luke - the thing they never gave you. Reassurance.

"I love you", Gwil whispers, when you finally pluck up the courage to look at him. "I love you more than anything".

"I love you too", you say breathlessly and kiss his stubbly cheek lightly. And when he looks at you - with so much love and fondness - you start speaking. You don't know how to stop yourself, but part of you knows that you don't want to.

You keep telling Gwil about everything: starting with your classmate calling you a "cow" in the sixth grade and finishing with your fears. You can't stop saying all of it, and Gwil doesn't want you to - it's probably the first time when everything is focused around you. You're not much of a talker, and sometimes saying "I love you" to your parents is a hard thing to do - but tonight you talk, and talk, and talk. All because you're tired of keeping everything inside. And if you don't spill it out, you'll blow up.

And Gwil deserves to know what's going on inside your head - he's going to marry you, you can't keep having secrets from each other. Every relationship must be built on trust, and tonight you finally let all of your walls fall down, opening up to Gwil like to no one else. You trust him. That's the most important reason why you're being so honest. You know he won't laugh at you, you know he would never judge. He'll accept you no matter what. Because now you know that he loves you.

When you finish, it's already the break of dawn. You're in Gwil's arms, with your head oh his shoulders, and his arm around your waist. He's playing with your hair, while the two of you sit in silence.

"Still wanna marry me?" you say jokingly.

He smiles and kisses the top of your head. "Always. Can't wait to call you 'my wife'".

You chuckle and snuggle closer to him. All of it feels like home. And you know that you have finally found the love of your life.

He’s so warm and sweet and lovely. You’ve never thought you’d be so in love with someone that even their smile would make you go crazy. He’s the guy you’ve been dreaming about your whole life, he is your Prince Charming. And you are his Princess. Even though you don’t need this - you just need him in your life. You feel so much love and happiness while kissing with him before you two fall asleep in your bed at six in the morning - and you can’t keep yourself from beaming when Gwil’s pulling you closer to him and whispering “I love you’s” into your neck. Now you don’t know yet that in two hours you’ll wake up with the worst nausea in your life; you still don’t know that three days later you’ll find out about your pregnancy. You don’t need to know that yet. Now you’re in the state of total bliss and love and what you’ve craved for years - eternal happiness - is given to you by the man right next to you. And you that’s exactly what you need.

_______________________________________________________________

“alio” taglist:  @majesticdiscodeaky @heartsarecompatible @all-my-friends-are-german @magicwithaknife @longing-hiraeth @thelondondreamer5 @roger-taylors-drumsticks @runningoutofwordstosay @chlobo6 @you-and-i-deserve-the-world @queenficarchive @murydedeus03 @alis-volat-propriiis @deacycomics @hollandspcter @gwils-bitch   @crazylittlethingcalleddub-step @painthatiusedto @kaylaylaylayla @rogerinastolemyheart @broken-pieces @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @leah-halliwell92 @brianandthemays  @murydedeus03 @rogerfxckingtaylor  @zvzxs

[kob131]

The Failures of FMF: Volume 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdqeLSnvwg

So, who wants to see just HOW MUCH FMF fails?

This only goes up to the 11:44.

So his first minute consists of him entirely failing to understand Weiss’ arc from Volume 4 and in fact the whole series. No, seriously. He says that Weiss’ arc is about her not being an entitled spoiled brat, emphasizing this in Volumes 3 and 4 were she avoids her father and talks back to him. All while claiming she’s just as bad as the woman who bad mouthed the fall of beacon as well as claiming that she wanted to get special treatment from her father. … Weiss’ arc, ever since Volume 1, was that she came from an abusive household that justified her attitude since she was a victim of abuse. Jacques in Volume 4 outright says and does shit from Parental Abuse 101 like locking her away, keeping her close by and managing her life. It also long since put down the idea that Weiss was a sheltered princess (heiress!) and the woman from Volume 4 Episode 7 had acted far worse than Weiss ever did. 

This is blatant story telling. This is shit you learn about when you first begin analyzing media. He’s been doing this for 5 years while claiming he’s better than the writers the whole time. One minute in and it shows that even if Miles and Kerry don’t know what they’re doing most of the time, they know more than FMF.

The next three and a half minutes consist of him wasting our time pretending that he approves of the Weiss and Yang talking scene in Volume 5 episode 8. To cut down on the fake positivity: he pretends that the episode is referencing Volume 1 Episode 15 + 16 despite the talk referencing the events of the Fall of Beacon as well as their overall time together, blames the show when he doesn’t pay attention/is being willfully ignorant, he treats the Volumes as separate stories as he says that Volume 3 never shows Blake letting her metaphorical walls down despite showcasing that in Volume 2 (and Volume 3 Episode 8 ironically enough) thus implying that he sees them as not affecting the future installments, says that Yang being angry at her mother for insulting her father and uncle a ‘temper tantrum’ (somebody link Dudeblade that moment, it’s at 3:57) and acts as though Yang doesn't fight defensively in the bandit fight while cutting out the beginning where she defends herself. So we have FMF being willfully ignorant, being disingenuous,, blaming the show for his mistakes, treating parts of a continuous story as separate entities and misrepresenting moments. All in three and a half minutes.

Also he ends this with the basic ‘smash cut to black while the writer pretends they fucked up’ then proceeds to ruin the joke by providing visual aids to clearly indicate he doesn’t mean this. One of the simplest Youtubers jokes, can’t even do it properly.

Then we lose yet another two and a half minutes when he tries pretending he knows anything about the Illa Vs. Blake fight. He tries talking about how Illa knew that her whip’s range would allow her to push back Blake...in a blade clash...by creating sparks from her weapon...which has nothing to do with her weapon. He makes a point about Blake freezing Illa’s weapon with ice bullets...but then ruins it by saying that ‘Blake threw it half way across the room’ even though we never see where it lands in his review with the only assurance being his edit where he says where it SHOULD be. This after he’s shown to manipulate his audience to make a point. Also he complains about Illa standing around doing nothing even though in the show, it’s because she’s deciding what she’s gonna do. 

So we can add ‘removes context’ to the list of critical failures. Right next to ‘pandering to the base’ with his ‘but we need something to keep the Bumbleby shippers invested’ line. (The one where he panders to the rabid anti-bumblebee part of his fanbase.)

Next: he drops any pretense that he’s trying to be at all trustworthy by trying to say the writers are bad at their jobs because ‘they said that Yang was trying to keep her emotions under control but LOOK, she’s NOT doing that!’ while showing scenes from two different episodes so we know this isn’t directly ripped from the commentary and for all we know, he edited out context to make a point. You know, like he did before. Funny how being a manipulative little bitch ends up making you look worse and worse. Oh and reminder, the ten minute mark of this nearly two hour review isn’t here yet. 

(’they don’t have any self awareness’ he says as his intro directly references Kerry calling the writing silly and he shows no awareness to his lying nature.)

‘Hurr durr, the story the writers are trying to tell is tangential to the actual story because Kerry said that Yang was brushing Shady off when she punched him’ even though THIS directly happened before:

‘Shady Man: Are you telling me you're too young to drink? You look like a regular Huntress. And a beauty at that. Yang: I'm good. Thanks, pal. Shady Man: (approaching Yang undeterred) Seriously. Not too bulky. Not too lean. You're... Yang: Just right. Yup. Like I said, I'm good.’

But yes FMF, keep talking like you’re a big boy critic.

Oh look, apparently inspiration means ‘must be EXACTLY the same’ because they have different shooting styles, never mind how in the clip of the Book Of Eli, the main character and Yang are MOVING THE SAME WAY. Guess someone never learned what ‘plagerism’ was eh?

Ah yes, someone violating your personal space after repeatedly showing that you want nothing to do with them is ‘picking a fight’. Oh wait, you CUT that part out didn’t you? Hm, it’s almost like you’re not trustworthy in the slightest...

‘Jump cuts happen too much!’

*cites FloofArtist*

OOoooooh! A dishonest shitbag is quoting ANOTHER dishonest shitbag! It’s bullshit squared, like CNN citing Buzzfeed.

‘Not that that’s an acceptable excuse-’

*brandishes everything above*

Still more than you’ll ever have.

Yes, yang is TOTALLY the same as she was before. Having emotional breakdowns, not smiling at all, constantly moody-that’s Yang from the Yellow Trailer right? Oh no, wait. That’s the exact opposite...Hm...why does it seem like every word coming out of your mouth sound like constant farting?

Also: FMF directly said earlier that Yang’s arc was about her becoming her previous self before. Ignoring how wrong he is- Suddenly it’s a bad thing when he was praising it before. This is the same guy complaining about continuity errors when he can’t keep himself straight for three minutes.

Oh man, lightening round-

‘No fights’ Yeah, one punch is not a fight scene.

‘Yang was avoiding confrontation’ - Yeah, mind showing me the UNEDITED scene where that was said in Episode 4?

‘Yanag doesn’t beat people up anymore’ Uh oh, look’s like FMF got into the wacky tobaccy.

‘Or did she leave her bike there-’ Show shows that she brought her bike back in Episode 6 and she was walking towards it after the fight. And no, they don’t have to show it. FMF read ‘context clues’ earlier so he doesn’t get a free pass here.

‘Stair joke better than slapstick and cringe humor!’ Dunno, sounds kind of stupid eh FMF? Almost like...cringe humor?

‘Crazy Thursday-’ ‘HURR DURR, THEY SAID THOR’S DAY!’

Yes, keep going Mr. Fat-tastic!

Unfortunately I’m gonna have to duck out. Pretty sure this is getting repetitive. But hey, within the span of twelve minutes, FMF has basically rendered himself unable to be taken seriously. In twelve minutes, he failed, at best, thirty times. At best since I cut out some of his shit. Most of it having NO EXCUSE as it's intellectually dishonest, basic critical thinking failure, contradicts what he said earlier or a combination.

Not much else I can say aside from- He failed more times in the first twelve minutes of his review of Volume 5 than the entirety of Volume 5.

And I can’t help but take a sadistic glee in that.

[thebrownblog]

Different Seasons: Two Years in Quebec

Well, once again it’s been a while (I won’t even pretend at the end of this entry that the next one will be soon, it’ll be some time in 2021 if I follow the average posting frequency). What’s up folks? What could I possibly be here to talk about today? Probably the one thing that distuingishes and defines my life, the fact I moved thousands of miles from home to a place that seems to be frozen half the year, and doesn’t have English as a first language…and then decided not to move on again, stubbornly at times.

Before starting this, I just read back through my previous post from October 2017. “A hundred thousand changes, everything’s the same” sums it up nicely. It was clearly written by a younger, more enthusiastic version of myself who was still on a high from just arriving, and hadn’t yet experienced 2 brutal winters. I’d say I’ve probably matured and grown more in 2 years here than in the previous 5, however difficult Paris was. The foundations were laid by the Parisian struggle, but it’s definitely Quebec that’s put a few hairs on my chest. 

This is a very seasonal existence, and there’s no way around it. The euphoric highs of summer and the beauty of autumn juxtaposed with the looooong slog that is winter. The euphoria of being out on the road all the time seeing beautiful place after beautiful place vs being stuck at home because of the gloomy and sometimes dangerous conditions (I will NEVER forget for as long as I live, how close I came to death in a sudden snowstorm in Maine last October, when visibility suddenly dropped to about 20cm in front of the car on a winding mountain road with moose out and about at night). I’d go so far as to actually call it a bi-polar existence over the course of a year, a life of extremes for sure. Am I capable of growing old in conditions like these? Probably not, but I’m not ready to give it up yet, and if I ever do I’m not sure it would be to go back to England anyway. Who knows?

However, I loved it here at the beginning, and I still do today. Why? Same reasons, by and large. Open space, open road (weather permitting). My own slightly bizarre version of the American Dream probably (Well, it IS just 25 minutes away). Ever since I was a kid, I was going to end up on this continent somehow. I always wanted to go to the USA. Why? Most likely being a big reader and film fan. Everything I loved reading and watching was always set in America. America to me was not and still is not defined by who is president at the time, and what crazy sh*t is happening politically. It’s more of a concept. To me it represents vast open space where you can go anywhere, and become anything you want as long as you have the will and the fortitude to make it happen (if the American Dream is dead I certainly never got the memo, and don’t really want want to either). In the end I ended up close enough, AND with a humane healthcare system.

What else do I love about here? The fact I feel like I actually have a chance in life. You can still work hard here in a ‘regular’ job here for a few years, save up and buy a house. This is completely dead where I come from, the idea of home ownership for me one day in London is a sick joke, and Paris was no better. I recently just moved into my own place for the first time, and actually have a spare bedroom…and it all costs less than a box room with barely enough space to swing a cat in in London. These things would have mattered less to me at 21, but now rapidly approaching 30 (yikes!) they matter more and more. Quality of life now matters a lot more to me than a place being hip and vibrant, and I have it much better here.

Some people understand completely, and others think I’m crazy, but that’s okay, crazy’s always worked for me.

I think to really understand me on this, you have to understand that I’m not attached to where I come from whatsoever. I miss my family a lot, and it’s painful at times, especially knowing my little sisters are growing up seeing me twice a year, but the place itself I could happily never see again. When you understand this, you can better comprehend how I’ve lasted this long already without the end being in sight yet.

Another big question is how someone from London feels more at home out in the sticks, and I think there’s two valid answers to this question. One is that I was completely and utterly burnt out with big city life after my negative experiences in my last years in London, and then the backbreaking experience in Paris in which I couldn’t even see just how miserable I’d become until I left. I clearly just wanted peace, affordability, a slower pace of life, and no more f*cking public transport!

The second is connected to childhood and Sweden. I grew up in London but I would always go to visit my grandparents a few times a year in Sweden, where they lived in the countryside. It was always a magical place for me, and everything that’s come out of me here (love of peace and quiet, nature, and nature photography etc) all actually started over there when I was much younger, but came out with a vengeance in Quebec. Funny how nearly everything about us all is programmed by our childhoods one way or another, whether we see it or not. 

It is also my theory that people always crave the opposite of what they grow up with: those that grow up in the country want the bright lights of a big city, and those that grow up in cities often want a slower pace after a while.

Ironically, my life has also been busier living in a small place than it ever had been before. I came to learn quickly that doing nothing in these weather conditions is not an option unless you want to find yourself fat and depressed in a hurry. There ARE things to do here, you just have to find them yourself, the internet isn’t going to tell you much. Aside from private tutoring, I’ve kept busy in a wide range of eccentric ways. I’ve joined a rugby team, a football (’soccer’ to all you North American lunatics) team, played a lot of badminton, and got myself more seriously involved in photography. You’ll notice a lack of winter sports, which is a shame I know, but sadly I know myself and know I was born with two left feet. I don’t want to risk injuring myself in a way that would keep me from driving for any period of time as I’d lose all of my income. You drive or you die out here. A train?? What the hell is that???

So, what’s really changed for me since the post I made near the beginning of the experience? The biggest thing is probably integrating. I couldn’t understand a word anyone said to me here for the first 2 months. I spoke French well enough already after a year in France, but the dialect and accent here is so different it was often basically worthless. Nowadays I communicate just fine, and have integrated into the community. It’s been a new social experience for me being known pretty much everywhere I go. That’s what happens when you work at schools in a small place and you have something about you that is unique (a Brit who actually speaks the language and lives here…yeah, there aren’t many….). 

It’s very different from the anonymity of a big city, and like all things has its pros and cons (sometimes you just want to go into a shop and buy something without being recognised by a current or former student), but mainly pro. Community spirit is a good thing that’s been pretty much lost in larger places. There’s definitely a kindness and willingness to help here that is more prevalent than anywhere else I’ve lived previously. Some of the families I private tutor for seem to have adopted me as one of their own!

Another big change was getting a new 2-year VISA in April which allows me to have any job, my first one was very restrictive, and made it tough to earn decent money at times. After getting it, I finished the year by supply teaching for a few months which was great experience, and certainly an adventure in itself as I ended up subbing for just about every subject on the curriculum. Obviously with the exception of English classes, this meant I had to do it in French all the time. If subbing for Maths, Science, and French isn’t a testament to how far I’ve come with the language from not being able to understand anything at all during the first two months here, I don’t know what is! However I drew the line at doing dictation in French one time, and put Netflix on instead, there are limits!

VISAs, VISAs, VISAs….well I’ve got myself started now. There’s been a constant stress from the moment I decided to stay on in October 2017. With the VISA I currently have, and the year I’m entitled to with my Swedish passport, I could fairly easily stay here until April 2022. However, I’m really tired of temporary solutions, and all the admin and costs that go into obtaining each one. I want to become a permanent resident, which is a more daunting and complex beast. When I come back from my trip home in early September all my energy will be put into finding a full-time job. You can’t get permanent residency without one. Whatever subbing and tutoring pay me is irrelevant because neither count as full-time, and I can’t go and study anything without swapping my working VISA for a restrictive study one (the headache never ends you see).

In many ways this next phase of the journey is going to be the acid test in terms of where I will end up. I will walk away from the teaching world temporarily or permanently if I need to, in order to find a full-time gig and get my residency. However, the job will have to involve my being an anglophone who speaks French to a high level. This is my advantage in this town, and the card I will always look to play in the employment game. If it can’t help me here like I’ve always thought it could, I would have to look elsewhere in the province eventually, and if there was still nothing cooking, I would have to ask myself the question for the first time about whether I would prefer to live amongst other anglophones in Canada, all opportunities being equal. 

These are all ultimately questions for another day though. What’s certain is I have a good chunk of time left, and in that time I will continue to travel around Canada and the USA as much as I can within my means. I often feel like a born nomad, and I love nothing better than hitting the road and seeing new places. That’s my pleasure in life, and long may it continue. Everything else will work out how it’s supposed to, it always does.

Tomorrow’s flight back to England finally signals the end of the beginning in this long, meandering, and very seasonal story.

TL;DR:

Winter is too long and I need a full-time job to become a permanent resident, but I still like it here, and people are nice.

[savagegardenforever]

Daniel Quotes

What would you fly to the moon and back for? "The hell of it"

I believe today it’s still the strongest song we’ve got - erm, not that we’ve got worse!" - on "To the moon and back " "Darren’s like a skateboard bowl. You go up one side and then the next - it’s a really enjoyable ride, you’re just like, Wooo!"

"You lead, I'll follow."

"Without success, we'd still be writing songs, with success, we're doing it and enjoying it more."

"We’ve got our foot in the door and now I’d like to do cartwheels in the room."

"I got some photos of Darren performing on stage when he was a teenager with short blond hair, and he was always fascinating to watch. You couldn’t help but watch."

"I'll hint at an attraction, and let it grow."

"movies?? I loved Et...though I'm not sure why?"

"Well it's getting a bit silly now isn't it?" - on SG getting their 6th ARIA award "Well, he gets up 3 weeks before he has to go out!" - On Darren

"I like junkfood, but the Americans have taken it beyond a joke" - On what he thinks about American breakfast

"We’ve got our foot in the door and now I’d like to do cartwheels in the room."  

"If I ever do that, I am leaving the business!" - to Darren when he saw a member of U2 falling off stage, this was before Daniel himself fell off stage on the first tour. (But I can’t see how because he doesn’t move around the stage that much!)

"Once people listen to the difference between our record and a Backstreet Boys’ or something like that they will hear it. And if they can’t hear it, then they were never really meant to be Savage Garden fans in all honesty."

"I think this works" (licks finger and touches Darren) "Ah let me take you home and get you into something dry" - His favourite chat-up line "Why isn't the kangaroo playing the drums?" "Um... So, Darren, when did you actually meet me?" - Entertaining himself "We were just playing around a lot of pubs and clubs in Australia, playing basically whatever drunk people liked.... " - On the early days I guess Darren and I just have this sort of vampire-like connection, that we're always aware of each other being in a room, but never really have to cross into each other's territory... " "This is about putting a guitar over your shoulder and being a hero..for me." - About Break Me Shake Me "I was a big soccer fan when I was a kid and before I got into music and .. you probably couldn't put this microphone any closer to my mouth."

''Anybody's!'' -on what he's like after a few drinks

''I've got great talent! If you want to know why I don't sing, listen to me in the shower.'' - on why he lets Darren do the singing.

''Go after your dreams because you never know how easy they may be to achieve.''

Savage garden is an erotic name, Dan? "Umm… I think so, according to Darren yeah!"

''Why they get moody every month.'' *laughs* - on the thing he doesn't understand about the female sex

''One time I stalked a girl for 3 months.'' - when asked if he's ever done phone terror on a crush

''3... but I was 14 [years old].'' - on how many people he's kissed in 24 hours

''I have a lot of girlfriends but I'm always open for more.''

''Music is like a drug... *after thinking about what he has just said*... but a positive one!''

''One time I hit my head so hard we had to stop!'' - on the most embarrassing thing that he's done in bed

''Oh well, she's into that sort of thing so we could just share each other.'' - on what his girlfriend would say if Elizabeth Hurley came onto him

''I turn on my charm and pretend to be cuter than I am... and it actually works.'' - on how he acts when he's got a secret crush on someone

''He thinks he is funnier than he is.'' - on Darren

"Yeah what he said."

" We don't have a least favourite spice. Savage Spice is our least favourite." " I think when you do something that deserves a reward, yeah great. When you don't do something that deserves a reward and you get one then sometimes it's a little hard to perceive where that's come from"

"I wouldn't mind just sitting out in the sun for an hour or two on a beach somewhere in Australia with nobody there. That'd be cool."

" I like the presenters."

"It's taken 12 months for the whole world to basically hear Savage Garden and it has happened very quickly and they do like it. So I think the secret is maybe there are some good songs on this album and people like good songs."

"Everybody's fascinated by Australia and Australians." (Today Tonight)

" See what happens when you write songs, they make you do stupid things in front of the camera."

"I think a lot of it's got to do with songs first off because the only thing we've got to speak for us is our music. I think there's a definite chemistry between Darren and myself when we sit down and write a song. I think Darren's voice is a superb voice and the way we deliver emotion within songs is real and I think real people have heard this music and real people have got behind it."

"It has been fun, there's been moments when I've been in hysterics you know laughing. It's been really hard as well. It's the hardest I've ever worked in my life. The pace that it's been set at it's hard to keep up at times." "I have heard [I Want You] in the odd Woolies or Coles and it's pretty embarrassing."

" I think at sometimes we have taken ourselves a little too seriously and I think we may loosen up a little bit more musically."

" I think also we wanted to do the Australian tour more than anything so it didn't matter what was kind of happening we wanted to come through and tour."

"We're still good friends."

"I said hello then spent the rest of the show trying to smell her." - on watching Popmart next to Helena Christensen

"It was pissing me off. Music was becoming more about talking about it than actually making it. I had to get back to the studio. I enjoy it and I miss it. The whole monster size of this machine takes if away from you."

"I was never a nerd."

"Darren is brutally honest, even to himself. Sometimes he's his own worst critic. He's so honest that anything he's feeling comes to the surface, which really helps to clear the air in the type of intense relationship we have. He reminds we of a kid, not in a bad way, but in his naivete."

"I'd be skinny Spice."

"I think naturally I'm a bit reserved and a bit shy and I tend to shy away from rather than seek it."

"The last two years have been a hell of a ride for us and we just want to take the time to thank you!"

"I'm not the frock wearer. It's not frockin healthy."

"Someone sent me three boxes of Time Out bars and I was sick for a week cause I ate 'em all."

"It's a bit like getting changed in front of your parents, you love these people but you just wouldn't do this much in front of them."

"I just sort of remember picking up the phone and hearing Darren swearing."

"When I see one of our videos on TV I hope my ex-girlfriends are watching!"

"My best features are my hands. After all, they do most of the work."

"See what happens when you write songs? They make you do stupid things in front of the camera." - when Darren and Daniel went on Splash Mountain at Disneyland and gave the camera the middle finger. But they didn't get their photo. "Or we could be fat and bald and go, 'I was a pop star once.'" "Yeah, many times, it happens all the time, and it's usually when you're dressed the most daggiest!" - on getting recognised

"We've never really taken into consideration this title. although ... I do have to agree with you, I AM very sexy!" - answering the question "What's it like being labeled 'sexy man'?" "I've always been a very stubborn person, stuck in my ways." "In Brisbane, we live as far away as possible from each other." - addressing the rumor that he and Darren live together "I tried to make my hair as spiky as an ARIA award... but he beat me to it!" "It makes him sing higher." - watching Darren put on his tight bodysuit for a concert Interviewer: Now look we haven't touched on Darren yet, so we probably should. Have you had to give him a backhander to settle him down a bit? Because I've seen him perform live, sometimes he gets a little bit out of control, have you given him a bit of a slap? Daniel: No, he does it himself, mate, he falls off the stage every other night. Daniel: This track is called "The Lover After Me." Interviewer: And what's that about, quickly? Daniel: Uh, the lover after me.

"It just appeared. No one really knew what to call the song and then everyone was just referring to it as 'The Animal Song.'"

"I've been stung by bees before." - answering the question, "Have you ever been savaged by a garden?" "Why isn't the kangaroo playing the drums?" "I've never done that old, 'Hey, babe, I'm from the Garden!' pickup line thing, either!"

Interviewer: Daniel, your mum's nickname for you? Daniel: For me? Caniel, because there was a misprint in a paper one day when I scored a goal at soccer.