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waywardsalt · 1 year

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thoughts on totk now that i’ve beaten it

under the cut bc of length and bc there is honestly a fair bit of negative stuff

i don’t really think i can say that i liked totk.

it’s fine, it’s genuinely fucking incredible from a technical standpoint with ultrahand, recall, the three map layers and with how smoothly it ran for me. as a game it’s fine.

i’ll start with the things i dislike and end with what i actually liked

i honestly didn’t really like ultrahand? i disliked how much the game leaned on it, since so many puzzles and whatever just boiled down to ‘make something that’ll work’ and it just... it was far too clunky for me to really enjoy using it, outside of using some of the same few designs for traversal. there were a few times when i could see what the game wanted me to do with ultrahand and the given zonai parts and sometimes it just... didn’t work at all. more often than not ultrahand was frustrating for me to use so the game’s reliance on it just made it into a chore sometimes.

in a similar vein the dungeons were serious letdowns. i mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re fine, they had good themes and (mostly) had good aesthetics and general looks and identities to them, but the fact that they were just... basically twenty-ish minute little things was kind of disappointing. i hate that they all had the exact same ‘go hit x number of switches’ gimmick. it really limited what you could do and fucked with the dungeon design, too. the only one where that really worked for me was the fire temple, which was my favorite overall. the water temple was especially dismal, with the least inspired look and just being an astoundingly easy experience. the puzzles in those dungeons were so awfully easy, too, especially since half of the time they just hand you what you need so you barely need to really assess the situation and put a plan together

i hated the water dungeon’s little mini-areas where you do a single piss-easy puzzle to automatically get your prize, i hated the wind temple’s god damn ‘pull a lever and get your prize’ kind of puzzles, i hated how soul-crushingly disappointed i felt when i took a look at the lightning temple’s map and realized that every fucking floor had a singular room just for the switch puzzle. god forbid it’s as fun as the lowest level of that temple. i really miss stuff like mini-bosses or rooms where you have to do a puzzle in order to just... progress, i miss dungeons that i could get lost in or spend a while in or just had... something more interesting or some more substance so that i can’t just breeze through like it’s a glorified shrine. most of the puzzles in those dungeons were simpler than some shrines i did.

i didn’t care to do much exploration since there honestly isn’t much motivation to explore the surface map if you’ve already played botw, and the scarcity of materials this time really got to me, it took me a while to have a half-decent stock of materials, and i still had trouble not running out of stuff even though i was using amiibos to stock up on some things. the money situation was rough, too... a lot of things are cheaper to sell, but some armor is still really expensive plus you have to pay the great fairies to upgrade your equipment in addition to having the correct materials. that especially felt odd- having to grab a handful of (goddamn hard to get) lynel guts is hard enough to upgrade the soldier’s armor, but you want me to cough up 500 rupees, too??

(the scarcity of monster guts also got on my nerves, but i’ll just chalk that up to just some kind of really weird difficulty thing. it was annoying until i tracked down the stronger monsters.)

the story is probably the weakest part of the game to me. it’s really hard to have a baseline investment when you don’t care about these characters, anyway, and what i saw in this game’s story still failed to endear me to hardly any of them. link’s role frustrated me; he just comes off like a tool rather than a character this time through, he barely has any actual relevancy to the story segments beyond being the guy who can use the master sword and being the player’s vehicle to get from point a to b in the story. the blank stare and limited emoting worked in botw because... there’s a given reason for his lack of outward emotion in the past, plus he has no memory in the present. it makes sense. but this time around, he’s gotten memories in the years between this and the last game, but he just feels like a background character in most of the story beats.

he has no role in the memories and in the present just exists to gather some stuff for other people, he gets the master sword from zelda and then helps the other sages get their secret stones, but he’s barely addressed as his own character in the grand scheme of things unless he’s being directly spoken to. he’s just the swordsman capable of wielding the master sword and zelda’s chosen protector as far as the story is concerned. he has no opinions outside of doing what he’s told and looking for zelda. at least not as far as i could really tell. at least in botw, the story directly concerns him, and it’s his story we’re following. this time around zelda and the sages seem like the most important characters, link’s just... there, doing what he’s been told to.

the new sages are fine, none of them really endeared themselves to me, and i will say that making the player watch essentially the exact same cutscene each time you finish a dungeon was BAFFLING. they were long and you learned almost nothing new after the first one, and there was nothing done to make them very distinct to each individual pair of sages or their respective regions; at the very least, it could have been interesting to meet the ancient sages not in the exact same stone garden, but perhaps at the top of a snowy mountain for the rito, near a volcano or something for the goron, maybe in a shallow pool of water for the zora, and in the desert for the gerudo- but no, they’re all effectively the same thing just with the speaking character swapped out with some minor changes.

(the sages themselves are a pain in the ass to use, having to chase them down to activate their power or accidentally activating a power when you don’t want it; yunobo was honestly my favorite, but because i generally defaulted to having them all activated at all times, i had a lot of trouble with tulin blowing shit away from me when i was trying to grab it while midair. they’re half-decent for combat)

i didn’t really care for rauru or sonia, either. rauru in the present as a ghost was fine, he was kind of interesting and seemed to have changed from his time in the past, but he never managed to be a character i particularly liked. i wasn’t really a fan of his... arrogance? or something in the past scenes, and he never really came off as very interesting. sonia was nearly completely uninteresting which is a shame since she has an interesting design, she just felt delegated to the role of supporting rauru and zelda and then dying to motivate them.

ganondorf is a character i was really looking forward to seeing, and it really fucking sucks that he’s so god damn one-dimensional this time! the story can’t be fucked to delve into him beyond just giving us scenes that just tell us that he’s evil and wants to rule hyrule and get the secret stones and nothing else because fuck having complex villains, i guess. especially frustrating because within the game itself you can draw more interesting motivations up for him, but the game really just doubles-down on him being evil for the fuck of it and wanting to end the world because uhhhh... he’s evil don’t fucking worry about it

the ignoring of the triforce in this game sucks in that way, too, because the way the triforce works and how it can grant wishes made it a much more interesting goal for ganondorf to attain, rather than some poorly-named ‘secret stones’ that do nothing more than just amplify power or something. it sucks how black-and-white this damn story is and how it seems like it just wants to do away with any possible nuance or gray area. no one but the bad guys or side characters are flawed in any actually interesting or significant way.

at least ganondorf was still the most interesting character in the flashbacks.

and then zelda, oh god ZELDA. i honestly really liked her in botw. i liked how you saw her as a flawed, insecure, pressured teen, and how you saw her struggles to relate to link and how she eventually warmed up to him. you saw her as a flawed person who develops and as someone who cares deeply about her friends and her duties and gets frustrated by her failings.

and then in totk a lot of her more interesting traits- her interest in sheikah tech, her excitement over field study and research, her more defining traits as this incarnation of zelda- are basically sanded down and she’s just this perfect flawless princess with great power and an insanely passive role in the past beyond finally taking some kind of action after one of her friends dies and she’s pushed to the brink. cool. great.

she has practically no flaw in totk. if anyone in the present talks about her, they have nothing bad to say and just want to please her and follow her orders, she is right in telling the gerudo how to train their troops she is right even when misheard to tell people to put themselves in danger and she is hardly meaningfully questioned when her imposter is doing very clearly suspicious shit. neither the story nor any of the characters wants to let her be flawed. she’s just perfect in damn near every way and barely retains any interesting characterization she got in botw. there are some interesting snippets in her being a teacher and setting up memorials to those who died in the calamity, but there’s hardly any more than that, and it makes it really hard for me to give a damn about her. she’s not interesting this time.

the whole thing with zelda becoming a dragon too, is... it’s fine. it’s ok. but the fact that she turns back at the end with no problem whatsoever is one hell of a fucking misstep. why talk about draconification being forbidden for a good reason anyways if it doesn’t actually matter anyways??? if you never actually see any of those fucking repercussions why even bring them up??? i really feel like it would have been more effective for there to have been actual consequences for zelda beyond just fucking flying around half-conscious for a millennium or whatever- have her lose her memory when she’s brought back! there you go! there’s the reason why draconification is forbidden! there’s the thing about losing yourself! plus, zelda losing her memories as a result would mirror link having lost his memories in botw! that has so much more weight and significance then ‘oh uh ignore the warnings from a while back she’s completely fine dw abt it’ i hate that she’s back just like that without any of the consequences that the game suggests.

the dragon’s tears in general kinda just felt weaker than botw’s memories anyways bc you’re more just. watching stuff happen then actually learning anything. it has less characters and yet i feel like you only get to know like half of the important ones. like three of them are all about the same event. a few times they just replay parts of old memories in new ones. if they ever reference a past memory they just show you what they’re referencing instead of leaving you to piece it together. just play the voices or something don’t break the flow of things to play a clip of something i’ve already seen.

plus the fact that totk... barely acknowledges that it’s a sequel to botw really rubs me the wrong way. i understand that loz is extremely loose with its lore, but totk is a direct sequel set in the same world a few years later, and yet the events and characters of botw have might as well been forgotten and its all either ignored, brushed aside, or straight up replaced by something else for no good reason. the continuity between these games is absolutely dismal and to see the different ways in which the events and concepts or botw are just... disregarded really just left a bad taste in my mouth.

just- i love good stories and worlds in video games, and while some games can coast by for me by feeling good to play, having a good and engaging story and characters is usually essential to my enjoyment of a game, and when i don’t care about to the point of disliking the story and characters, and when none of the important areas are fascinating or distinct enough from each other, and when the game even fails to really reel me in with the gameplay...

i wanted to like totk, but it really just did not work for me. i just ended up feeling frustrated and disappointed and even sometimes bored with all of the major stuff and man. totk is really, REALLY, not for me, and it just left me wanting to play older zelda games instead.

...

HOWEVER! there were actually some things i really loved about totk! it’s not all doom and gloom! (well, not all doom, at least)

so! the music was great! not all of it really fit or made a lot of sense with the context in which they played or failed to evoke the feeling they were meant to, but the new tracks in this game were great! i especially love the first two phases of the fire temple’s theme, the depths music, and most of the new battle and boss themes. zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music.

i did genuinely like the fire temple- yunobo’s ability was used the best in this dungeon, and it had the best five switches gimmick, i loved how you had to hit the gongs (sometimes having to construct a path to account for the weaknesses of yunobo’s ability) and how it then ‘scared’ each of the five statues holding a part of the gate- it was very cute and fit in very well with the general feel of that part of the story. it was the best in terms of difficulty and complexity, but it didn’t have the best boss- the lightning temple had the best boss, and i will admit that even if most of them were easy, i really enjoyed the mirror puzzles, as well as the process to unlocking the dungeon. the wind temple had my favorite visual identity and aesthetic, though, i liked it being a part of this old rito song, and how it was the most distinct in looks from the other dungeons.

the sky islands were honestly fun, even if they weren’t all that interesting. getting to some of the harder-to-reach islands were some of my favorite times i had to use ultrahand, and stuff like the zonai forge island and the one orblike island with the mirror puzzle, and pretty much all of the more complicated parts of the sky islands were a lot of fun to explore and figure out.

being able to ride on the dragons was just really cool, and the fact that they come out of the chasms was fun.

the new horns for the monsters were cool, it helps differentiate the different monster strengths and i just thought they were really neat.

the quest with lurelin village was fun, even if the pirates just being monsters was a real let-down.

the stable trotters were also a fun bunch of characters, that was a good, new way to open up fairy fountains.

all of the new stuff with the yiga was really fun, like getting their outfit and being able to pretend to be one of them and learning the blademaster attack- so much fun it was so cute.

most of the new outfits are really good and useful, and while a bit janky and not that great, the house-building bit near tarrey was endearing.

while none of the main characters interested me, i really, especially liked tauro and yona and penn. for some reason they just appealed to me and i really wish they had bigger parts in the game because they’re interesting and they have good designs and i’d really like to know more about them.

the underground gerudo shelter was pretty cool, to be honest, and the look of the caves was really cool.

i adored the proving grounds shrines- easily my favorite shrines in the entire game, i had no problem spending a decent amount of time in those kinds of shrines, they were fantastic.

the new ingredients and recipes and new weapons were cool.

the way you basically return to the area you started at on your way to ganondorf is pretty cool, that whole path is really neat.

ganondorf in general was a pretty cool boss, even if he ended up being kind of easy for me. the whole final boss sequence was neat.

by FAR, though, my absolute favorite part of this game was 100% the depths. the fact that there was just an entire second layer to the map that was the same size as the surface, just inverted and dark and filled with new bosses and locations... i spent hours down there without going back up to the surface and absolutely had a BLAST screwing around in the dark, lighting up my path with brightblooms and tossing together little vehicles with lights so that i could get to the next lightroot off in the distance. the depths was probably where i ended up using zonai vehicles the most, and it was honestly pretty fun to go around spotting and reaching every lightroot, coming across different mines and weird little landforms and coliseums and yiga camps. the music and plantlife and look of the depths were so good, and it really felt distinct from the rest of the game in a very good way. doing all of the lightroots and getting enough zonaite to max out link’s energy cells was definitely a good move since it made finding shrines and dealing with later zonai machine stuff easier.

overall, tears of the kingdom was a severely mixed bag for me, and while there was stuff i did like, i don’t think it’s enough to really get me to say that i really liked this game overall- after all most of the stuff i disliked was unavoidable parts of the games, and it definitely put a hamper on my interest in the rest of the time. totk is fine, but it’s really not my thing.

#i just- *slams head into brick wall* bro i did not have a good time with this game #going back to my silly little comparison point; totk was $70 and my copy of phantom hourglass was $70 #$70 is a bullshit amount for a game but thats no the point here #totk from a technical baseline standpoint as a GAME is worth $70 #its story and the amount of enjoyment it gave me was not worth $70 tho. the story and enjoyment i got from ph was more worth $70 to me #salty talks #loz #legend of zelda #totk #'zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music' if you talk shit abt ph's soundtrack i'll kill you. i like the dungeon track #i partially have the shinji chair image saved for this but i did also initally save it yesterday when i finished nge #listen this was fine on a surface level but it just wore me the fuck down #link was just some flavor of stonefaced or surprised or determined in any given cutscene and like. idk. wasnt too interested in him either #look i know about the silly little dialogue options. still didnt do it for me #link getting his arm back only makes sense to me bc i got every last light of blessing and heart container and stamina vessel #the gloom in his body is 100% gone hes squeaky clean for me. whyd you take his shirt off tho. at least keep his hat. cant take it seriously #put him in the archaic set or smth his arm is fully visible that way at least and its full circle thats what he wears at the start #couldnt take the whole grabbing zelda sequence seriously bc i missed the (hold) prompt and link flew away lol #totk spoilers #also wasnt really a fan of most of the voice acting yeah sorry. kinda rough all around aside from like ganondorf and dimitri- i mean rauru #mineru and the rito sage were fine too ig. im not going to bother watching any vids or whatever to check again #riju and sidon were fine too #sonia was cool too but everyone else was a lil rough tbh esp with having to say 'secret stone' that name sucks shit #my switch died in the middle of the credits. i had like 25% when i started fighting ganondorf.#it died twice actually cuz i charged it for a few minutes and what like yeah 5% should be good and nope. died again #anyways whatever. im not giving it a rating im tired of this game i dont think i'll be replaying or even just touching it any time soon #music was top notch again tho. made me feel stuff more than the actual story did. cool ig #bitching abt totk

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idiosyncraticrednebula · 7 months

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I clicked on a video essay about Snow White and off the rip, the guy called Snow White a "passive domestic weirdo with no personality" and quickly figured out he is one of THOSE critics. He also got one about Ariel and you bet your ass he is one of these "gave up her voice for a man", "The Little Mermaid is misogynistic" dipshits. I have yet to watch the video, but I know for a fact he is one of those guys. His videos reek of that smartass, sanctimonious, leftist bullshit just by reading the titles and looking at the thumbnails. This guy also has a video defending Twilight. You can't make this damn shit up.

#disney #video essay #txt #i'm sorry but i'm so sick of people ripping the princess movies apart #like holy fucking shit i have never seen a children's entertainment property be so fucking bashed and disrespected the way disney princesse #have been disrespected and so grossly misunderstood #all because fucking cunts on the internet didn't like certain aspects about the original movies #yet fucking bratz has never gotten NOWHERE NEAR the same amount of fucking hatred they have been and they are WAY WORSE role models #these are sexualized ass dolls and materialistic directly marketed at little girls #but no the princesses got married and saved only once so that means THEY ARE THE FUCKING SCUM OF THE EARTH AND DESERVE ALL THE DAMN SCORN #i hate you fucking cunts who made it popular to shit on them #i fucking loathe you with all my heart i can't stand you #there are faaaar worse “role models” for children including little girls than them yet are blamed for every fucking evil on the planet #“these are just characters” ok but it isn't them precisely that get me mad it's people not getting the messages of the movies #it's indicative of an on-going of shitting on everything that's feminine in a positive light. that's what's pissing me off about the #bashlack. y'all notice how the characters who are more tomboyish or less traditionally feminine are seen as superior #i will defend them with every fiber of my body. i do not give a fuck if people think i'm utterly insane for that #i'm so sick of all of you #like i said i have yet to see his analysis of tlm but i just know he is gonna say some bullshit about ariel #i find it funny how disney princesses and barbie have been blamed for years and years for every bad thing on the planet and repeatedly #bashed for all the supposed “bad” messages and themes they teach to little girls because of miserable grown ass women who projected their #anger onto these fictional women that are supposed to represent the best of not just women but humanity as a whole even if they have flaws #and all yet bratz gets nowhere near the same amount of bad press despite them being clearly sexualized and materialistic as hell. they are #more damaging to little girls than barbie and disney princesses ever were. barbie and dp's have taught good things but these bitches? they #were pretty bad role models yet don't get the same amount of flack #don't get me wrong i grew up loving bratz but now i clearly see the ugliness of those characters being promoted to children as “role models #they are everything dp's and barbie have been accused of for years but no hatred for them

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ikkaku-of-heart · 1 year

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The High Priestess and the Magician

(Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. True insanity comes from getting that result.)

Stalking into his quarters, Basil Hawkins slammed the door behind him so hard a few straw dolls on his bookshelf fell over. It was unusual for him to show much emotion, but his temper had been growing dangerously short as of late. Even Faust was not exempt from his displeasure. A rare thing, as he valued the feline Mink more than the rest of his crew, but his mind had been ill at ease since his reading one hundred days ago.

In truth, he should have known better than to ask them such a dangerous question. It had been his own hubris that had driven him to ask about his own future. To demand to know when he would reach Raftel and claim the title of King of the Pirates.

Instead, the cards had foretold his failure. Predicted his eventual, inevitable death. They hadn’t specified exactly when, but he had received enough information to paint an unpleasant picture. At the time he had brushed it off, as the Tarot was up to interpretation, even if his readings were generally highly accurate. Except he received the exact same reading when he’d tried again the next day. And then the next. And every day since.

Ninety-nine days. Three cards. Always the same.

The Magician reversed. The Ten of Swords. The Emperor reversed.

Hawkins had always treated the Magician as an avatar for himself. He had claimed it as his epitaph for a reason, after all. Even reversed he accepted it, and the cards had never presented it in a reading that did not end up directly involving him. So it was concerning he had drawn it in succession with the two other cards. The Ten of Swords meant painful endings and betrayal. The Emperor reversed referred to domination and lack of discipline, which made him think that his fate was in the hands of one who embodied these traits. And there were four Emperors standing between him and the title of Pirate King…

Growling in frustration, he shoved a pile of books off of his desk, the hardcover tomes scattering as loose pages flew about. Since the twentieth identical reading, he’d been furiously researching ways to potentially avert his fate. The cards did not lie. Not to him. They told him the odds of overcoming any obstacle that stood in his path, allowing him to act accordingly. They gave him an undeniable advantage. At least, they did most of the time.

Now, they spoke of his inevitable failure.

So far, the odds were nearly 100% that he would not succeed in his ultimate goal, and in fact he would fall disgracefully. He was a man of control. He enjoyed telling others that their fates were out of their hands. He did not appreciate that misfortune being reversed. He did not appreciate his own cards defying him.

“You don’t scare me, Hawkins. I’m from Joras. As far as I’m concerned, your spooky ass barely registers a 7/10 on my weird shit-o-meter.”

A feminine voice danced blithely through his head, its very presence as mocking as the words themselves. The speaker had been the catalyst for his current fit of anger. He’d encountered one of the Heart Pirates while attempting to find more obscure literature that might help him reinterpret his cards’ message.

Ikkaku, the submarine’s engineer. The sole woman he knew of aboard Trafalgar Law’s vessel. He’d glimpsed her in the past when his and the fellow rookie’s paths had crossed. A pretty face, and an attractive figure that was shamelessly put on display in her wanted poster. A point he would acknowledge briefly on lonely nights, but no more than that. He was not one to be brought to his knees merely by a woman’s body. However, despite recognizing her, this was the first time she’d spoken to him. It had started as empty politeness on her part, which he’d responded to with an idle threat to her life. He had no time for pleasantries. Yet instead of cowering or even just leaving, she’d jutted out her hip and spat out a disrespectful retort. The woman was far bolder than she had any right to be. She didn’t even have the decency to fear him despite their clear gap in power! She was a normal woman with a distinctly non-combative role, while he was a powerful pirate captain and a Devil Fruit wielder!

She was as infuriating as her smug bastard of a captain. Had Marines not stumbled upon them, he would have gladly shown her their difference in strength before handing her over to Trafalgar in pieces. Or perhaps challenged the man to a fight and used his Straw Man technique, making her captain slaughter her in Hawkins’ place. That would serve them both right.

Inhaling deeply, Hawkins forced his face back into its usual stoic expression. He needed to focus on the task at hand, not some irritating woman. She was hardly worth his attention, much less his fury. Just a subordinate of one of his rivals. Nothing special. Her arrogance would get the better of her sooner or later.

He had no reason to concern himself with her fate, anyway. He had his own to consider.

Sitting down at his desk, he pulled out his deck of tarot cards. There was only one question on his mind – was his fate truly set in stone? Was his death 100% certain?

One hundred days. Ninety-nine identical card readings. This would be the last attempt, no matter the outcome.

He shuffled the cards for a solid ten minutes, though he acknowledged deep down he was merely stalling for time. It didn’t matter how he cut the deck – the cards would be drawn as they were meant to be.

With a sigh of acceptance, he gracefully slid the first card off of the top of the deck, setting it down on the surface of his mahogany desk face-up.

The High Priestess. This was…unusual. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d drawn her. Yet there she was. She symbolized the divine feminine, sacred knowledge, and the subconscious mind.

Why did he draw her?

Brow furrowing, he set down the second card. The Tower reversed. Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster. Now that was far more positive than anything he’d drawn in months. Were his cards telling him he might have a chance to avoid his fate? He scarcely dared to hope.

His hand shook faintly as he pulled the last card. The Devil, also reversed. Releasing limiting beliefs, exploring dark thoughts, sexuality, and detachment. Quite the swerve from the past two cards.

He sat back in his chair, attempting to make sense of his reading. He felt as much confusion as he did relief. Three of the major arcana had been drawn, which was unusual. More than that, they implied a woman was involved. But whom? Could she really avert his fate? And where did the Devil come in?

“You don’t scare me, Hawkins. I’m from Joras. As far as I’m concerned, your spooky ass barely registers a 7/10 on my weird shit-o-meter.”

Ikkaku’s voice once more drifted through his skull, and this time he actually listened. Joras. She was from Joras. Of course he knew of that bleak, superstitious island. It was a land once known as Innsmouth before it had been heavily industrialized. A place of fog and darkness, full of stories that were fantastical and frightening. Dead bodies rising from their graves, plagues that drove people mad, ancient rituals and sacrifices that were used to gain favor from eldritch horrors that slept deep beneath the ocean waves.

It was a land Hawkins had often been accused of coming from himself, and while it was not true, he had always felt a sort of longing for it. He’d greedily read every bit of information he could get his hands on, enthralled by the twisted lore of the Old Ones. He’d always held a strong inclination toward the morbid and the supernatural, and though he’d concluded they were likely nothing more than stories, he’d still gladly taken a copy of the Necronomicon from a book seller who had attempted to sell it to him for an extortionate price. A book bound in human skin and written in mermaid blood made a lovely addition to his collection, regardless of the validity of the myths and rituals etched on their pages. He’d even taken the time to learn the language of Innsmouth so he could read and appreciate it properly.

His earlier irritations towards the woman shifted into intrigue. Now her lack of fear made sense, and his ego was soothed. It was rather hard to measure up to eldritch horrors, though he’d still be happy to give a demonstration of his powers to remind her that while they were stories, he was very much a reality.

More importantly, her appearance had broken his losing card streak. The cards had ceased predicting his failure to instead speak of her. There had to be a reason for that.

“Tell me more about this woman. Who is Ikkaku of the Heart Pirates?” he whispered to the deck, praying his cards might give him more insight.

They did not disappoint. First, he drew the Sun. Not that he needed the cards to tell him she was a woman of positivity, warmth, and vitality. The woman practically glowed with it, especially compared to her dark captain. Perhaps that was why Trafalgar kept her at his side. He could imagine many found her easy to like and were drawn to that warmth.

Nine of Swords reversed. Inner turmoil, deep-seated fears, and secrets. How interesting, considering the previous card. Perhaps she hid some insecurities beneath that sunny shell. A dark secret, perhaps? She was a subordinate of Trafalgar Law, after all. No one innocent would bear to be around that man, or if they did, they didn’t remain innocent for long. And she spoke so casually of being from an island renowned for twisted beliefs. People with happy, well-adjusted pasts didn’t become pirates. There was certainly more to Ikkaku than meets the eye.

Long, pale fingers set down the final card. The Star. It represented hope, faith, and purpose. Another card seldom associated with someone who sailed with a pirate crew. Stars were often used to guide the lost. To navigate vast, unforgiving seas and guide them to safety. But she was no navigator as far as he knew. That job belonged to the polar bear Mink. So why was it associated with her?

It was all quite interesting. He’d drawn two forms of light when he’d asked about Ikkaku. Very curious, especially for a pirate who willingly followed a man like the Surgeon of Death. Especially for a woman who came from such a bleak, oppressive island. Yet he could not deny that the cards suited her. It appeared despite the darkness that surrounded her, she kept a bright, almost blinding aura.

An old story tickled his brain. Most of the tales of the Old Ones he’d heard whispered throughout the North Blue, as they were common campfire stories and bedtime fables to scare the cowardly and superstitious. But the Necronomicon had told him tales he’d never come across before. Getting up, he strode quickly to his bookshelf to pull out that morbid tome. Flipping through the pages, he at last came upon the deity he was looking for.

The Creator Turtle. The sole being of light in the pantheon who existed to counterbalance the twisted and shadowy Old Ones. He had gifted the humans he’d vomited into existence with the lighthouse that sat upon Joras’ jagged cliffs. The story stated he’d given his chosen Light Keepers the power to stand against the darkness and alter reality with their belief. It claimed they’d willed a weakness into the otherwise unstoppable Old Ones’ reality.

Through pure belief, they’d found a way to make the impossible possible. To rewrite reality and fate.

A fantastical story? Most certainly. But his cards did not lie. They had shown her to him for a reason. Was she a Light Keeper? Were the legends true? Did such a power lay within the heart of such an ordinary woman?

Maybe, maybe not. Yet even if the stories were just fables, it was undeniable that Ikkaku was still a key player in avoiding his fate.

Hawkins hated jokes, and because of that, he was a man who seldom laughed. Yet the raspy sound of elation that escaped his mouth and throat could only be described as such.

At last. He had his answer. A way to cheat destiny. It was a 1% chance, but it was still a chance. An opportunity Hawkins would greedily grasp with both hands.

Being told ninety-nine times how you would die was enough to crack even “the Magician” Basil Hawkins’ mind, it seemed. And like a weed in a sidewalk, an idea sprouted and began to grow through that narrow opening.

“To think I considered killing you,” he chuckled, a twisted grin on his lips as he stroked the illustrated cheek of his High Priestess. The woman on the card even bore a stunning resemblance to Ikkaku, now that he looked closely. A warm smile and dark curls peeking out from beneath her veil. He found himself wondering what they would feel like between his fingers. He pictured them twisting like tentacles around his digits, her disrespectful tone now full of reverence as she gazed up at him with adoration.

Was he the Devil? Were the cards telling him he needed to release the beliefs he had and instead explore darker thoughts? Because oh, his thoughts were already straying into rather unsavory territory. If she was the key to diverting his path, he couldn’t simply let her galivant about with Trafalgar. No, he needed her at his side. He needed her to be utterly devoted to him. To believe in him enough that perhaps this fabled Light Keeper power could make him unkillable. Failing that, perhaps she could spill the secrets of the Old Ones. Tell him who might give him the knowledge and power to twist reality himself. Perhaps in exchange for a lovely sacrifice upon their limestone altar?

Even the more mundane option of her simply dying in his place to whichever Emperor he was unfortunate enough to cross was an acceptable outcome. Sometimes the best solution was the simplest.

But how to do this? Well, she was a woman. Were they not all slaves to love? Puppets pulled by the invisible strings of emotion? Surely, she was just as easy to manipulate. Hawkins simply needed to take advantage of that weakness. To seduce her and make her love him. Surely, that would not be difficult. The only real complication was her captain. He would be forced to either kill Trafalgar Law or manipulate Ikkaku into betraying him. The former would take cunning and force, while the latter would take subtle seduction and perfect timing.

And, well, if that failed, there was always old-fashioned kidnapping and torture. Even the strongest will could be broken with enough pain and creativity. And a man desperate to defy his fate was willing to commit atrocities a lesser man would balk at.

Plan taking shape in his mind, Hawkins opened his cabin door, calling out for his first mate. “Faust! Did you happen to see which way Trafalgar’s ship sailed?”

The cat Mink paused mid-step, surprised at the uncharacteristic grin on his captain’s face more than the question. Had he not been angry less than an hour before? “Trafal-nya’s ship? It seemed to be headed towards the next island, based on the log pose.”

“Excellent,” Hawkins purred, patting Faust’s head before heading towards the top deck. “Tell the helmsman to stay close, but not overtake them. We don’t want them thinking we’re following them.”

“We don’t?”

Blonde locks draped over Hawkins’ shoulder as he glanced over it. “No. Because we’re not following them. We’re following her.”

“‘Her’?”

“My High Priestess. The woman who will make me a god,” he replied before leaving a confused Mink with no further explanation. Not that one would have made sense to anyone but Hawkins. But he didn’t need his crew to understand. He just needed them to obey. To remain devoted, just as Ikkaku would be when he was through with her. She’d sealed her fate the moment she’d crossed his path. The cards had spoken. Light would succumb to darkness. The High Priestess would submit to the Devil. The Magician would become Pirate King.

Hawkins would not die. It was not his fate.

Deep beneath the waves, shadowy tendrils writhed as an ancient being laughed to itself, pleased that the seed of madness it had planted in the mortal’s fragile mind had taken root so perfectly.

#Imaginative Blueprints (Drabble/Fanfic)#The Engine is the Heart of the Ship (canon)#Light Keeper (Old Ones)#High Priestess and Magician - Hawkins x Ikkaku #Major Arcana (Hawkins)#Wear My Heart on My Sleeve (Shipping)#obsessive behavior cw #madness cw #(*kicks my feet back and forth*)#(writing Hawkins was fun)#(it's a blast watching this terrible man obsess and spiral and I'm sure if he got his hands on her my girl would be in for a bad time)#(this is why being fixated on fate is the worst)#(thank you to everyone who is tolerating my bullshit with this recent obsession. you are very much appreciated)#op ikkaku #basil hawkins #op fanfic

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skullmoss · 4 months

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cripes i love lae’zel rebellion leader ending and now that any romance character can join her and support her it’s perfect

flawless

i would follow her to the ends of the universe and back

#plus the egg hatching and the child being free to choose who he wants to be????#i yell!!!! it’s perfect!!#and again i stand behind orpheus going illithid being the ‘best’ so long as lae’zel is there to carry his light.#it’s more poetic that way also no chance of just slapping up another monarchy in place of another.#”true leader” is bullshit. let the gith be free from it.#unrelated/related but gale/lae’zel is under rated i saw a gifset of him joining her on a red dragon and i just /hand to heart.#shadowheart/lae’zel is OTP for me but her dynamic with gale is also v precious to me.

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alittleemo · 5 months

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GIRL . i support the spotify girlies w my life i love making playlists like anyone else. but be so fr those boys from 1936 would NOT be listening to taylor swift. please im looking for a vintage music playlist this isnt it

#all light hearted of course of course #but girl. like RIHANNA????? be so real w me rn #anyway im back on my boys in the boat grind bc i went to watch the movie again yesterday <333 #lee's bullshit

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natequarter · 7 months

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the philip ii discourse is so funny. "he attacked the girlboss queen of england >:(" sorry but you just said you disliked philip for the colonialism. you know who also did a colonialism? elizabeth i,

#they all suck! monarchy is bullshit!#(btw this is not a genuine attack #just a light-hearted point)

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accidentalautomaton · 1 year

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Wait a minute. If I. Was able. To make a Jane prentiss animatic. I can make a gerry one. I have that power. My god. My fucking boy.

#only question is what song… thinking turn off the lights crane wives #or..#OH. MICHAEL ANIMATIC WITH FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE BREAKINF DOWN #OR UNDER MY SKIN.#I’m sorry I’m supposed to. e in bed. sleeping. but my god.#cally’s bullshit #struggling to find a Gerry song. Hmmmm #edit: guys dread in my heart mother mother. Thoughts

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sashimiyas · 1 year

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how would one hypothetically tag an ao the previous blue dragon not the squirrel x reader fic?

#reinas.inretrograde #there is something about not even being a lover bc he couldn’t allow himself relationships like that #just an admirer from beyond your periphery #where he once saved your father from bandits and though you take after your parent and cast him away from your home despite his help #you cannot help but seed a fondness in your heart #so when you hear he is going blind you visit him one last time #and let him witness you in a light he’s never seen. with a clarity he’d never been allowed to have #by dragging his hands over the curves of your body and letting his fingers map out softness of your skin #anyways back on my yona of the dawn bullshit #hak makes me yearnnnnn so deeeeepp

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haleelah · 2 years

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So this morning I am entertaining the thoughts of ratatouille x princess and the frog mashup jaydick au

One where for some unfathomable reason Dick would choose to become a chef involuntary, and he is struggling, that is until he encounters Jason the potty mouthed yet kind hearted rat with a great passion for cooking.

They help each other. Dick gets to learn how to be an actual chef from someone who is willing to teach him kindly, while Jason finally gets to practice this craft. To finally get the chance to cook as he needs.

I don't know. Maybe Jason is turned by some witch/wizard for some reason, the transformation also results with him losing memories of his human self. Jason was a renowned genius in the his field of work, despite his young age, and his sudden disappearance made quite the uproar. Dick of course can not manage to link chef Jason Todd to Rat Jason ( it's already to much that a rat sits hidden in his hat whispering the secrets of cooking gods to him)

They grow closer to each other over the time (and their hearts do so ♡). The story climax at Jason being at the risk of death, and he loses consciousness. Dick in his grief bestow a kiss upon his mouth, then violent swirls of light and sparks take place only for Dick now to be holding none other than Chef Jason Peter Todd breathing softly in his arms.

#jaydick #i am dying of laughter writing this #anyways #the thing about Jason is while is is stern and has no bullshit policy in the kitchen #he is utterly kind to those who really want to learn #unlike the many asshole chefs he was taught by #following the example of one master he values greatly in his heart #and that's chef pennyworth #plus there's something about Dick that makes him want to be utterly soft with him #maybe it's his beautiful oh so beautiful face and thise lovely hands with those deftly fingers #not to mention his soft black mane that he gets to settle in everyday #the glow in his beautiful brown skin illuminated softly by the soft lamp light when jason is teaching him of some techniques late at night #how hard he works and how eager he is to please jason #his laughs and smiles #jason is younger that dick here

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certifiedyapperx · 2 months

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imagine you’re dating ghost and no one knows. the two of you have kept it a secret on your end and his just for your protection— because ghost knows what could happen if someone finds out, how someone might try and target you to get to him, or worse, given his line of work.

but then imagine that he’s on a mission, interrogating some piece of filth ready to decorate the fucking wall with his brain matter when the guy says “you know what, simon, killing me would be the biggest mistake of your life.”

immediately ghost would pause, eyes narrowed, though his hardened demeanour wouldn’t fade much, he’d just blankly stare at the prick like “oh yea? n’ why don’ you tell m’ why.”

the shit-eating grin that would crawl across that fuckers lips would have ghost ready to kill him right then and there, but then he’d say “reach in my pocket. pull out my phone.”

id like to think ghost would have absolutely none of this assholes bullshit, not at all entertained by his theatrics. i’d like to think he’d just press the muzzle of his gun to the fuckers temple within an instant, all teeth barred and ready to get it over with when the guy would add,

“your girlfriend is a fucking beauty, isn’t she?”

everything would pause. ghost, time, the world, air, the universe itself—the life that would drain from ghosts face would almost be enough to make his alias a reality. his heart pounding in his throat, his fingers fucking trembling as he immediately reached into the assholes pocket to find his phone—a picture of a woman tied up (face not in view however) lighting up on the home screen. there’d be no thinking rationally, no thoughts in ghosts head except for making sure you were fucking okay. he’d do whatever he’d have to do, kill the guy, leave him strapped there, whatever—he’d be out of that room in two seconds flat and personally flying the helicopter back to your house calling you nonstop every fucking second until you answered.

“hello? si?”

he’d wait a second before answering. taking everything in. background noises, the inflection of your voice. it sounds calm, maybe too calm? he’s grasping his phone so fucking hard it’s a miracle it hasn’t shattered between his fingers.

“princess,” he breathes, fighting with everything in him to keep his voice steady. “see any birds today?”

though it was a genuine question, it also was an established one. ghost had set up a series of questions for a situation precisely like this. if you said blue jay, it meant you were fine, at home, as usual. if you said crows, it meant you weren’t.

“oh just the usual blue jays, si.” he could almost hear the smile on your lips. “everything okay? i miss you.”

ghost would exhale a shattered breath. “i’m coming home.”

and then he’d show up, not all but a few hours later, hands still trembling slightly, heart rate still struggling to regulate. it was too much, reminding him too much of his past traumas, he knew he needed to find better protection for you, but that was a conversation for another time.

he’d come in the house, barely even taking the time to shut the door behind him, almost frenzied again, relentless, unable to relax until he could finally lay eyes on you. and then, the second he did, he’d just pause and look at you, all messy hair and pyjamas still on, in the kitchen cooking breakfast for you both since you knew he was on his way.

and he wouldn’t say a goddamn word, he’d just come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you so tight you’d hardly be able to breathe, his face buried in your hair and his heart thumping at your back. you’d feel the pain the fear the anxiety radiating off him and you wouldn’t try to say anything because you knew he needed this, you knew he needed to see you, hold you, feel your pulse stable and alive. you knew he just needed a moment to breathe.

and so the two of you would stand there like that for a while, and then he’d take a big inhale and spin you around to face him, pulling up his mask to plant soft kisses on your jaw.

“i love you so fuckin’ much.”

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