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#shes capable of understanding her own mistakes but
nevermorgue · 2 days
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hello i'm asking another question
what do you think the main cast's mbti are? i don't really agree with personality database's assigned mbti, like I don't think Lenore is an ISFP, and I think Eulalie is rather extroverted to be an infp 😔
oh i’m so ass at these. Tbh the only way Id be able to confidently answer is if i took the quiz as all of them, and i’m not doing that because not only would that take ages, but it would be a pain in the ass to read for you too LOL
so let’s discuss each letter and maybe think about who fits where!
Extroversion (E) vs Introversion (I) So my definition of this is how you get your energy. Do you thrive more doing solitary activities, or do you recharge by being with people? I can see Eulalie being both, or an ambivert. She likes social gatherings/spending time with friends, but doesn't mind doing things on her own either. People like Duke thrive off other people, getting their energy from social interaction. Montresor may be a very "social", outward person, but definitely prefers leisure time on his own with nobody bothering him. So using these as examples, I'd do this: E - Duke, Berenice, Morella, Eulalie, Lenore, Ada I - Pluto, Prospero, Annabel, Montresor, Eulalie again Will is a wild card because I think he craves social interaction, but it doesn't really "energize" him. And being alone means being alone with his thoughts/feelings that he can't understand. Next: Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
So I’m using the MBTI website for reference here. “S is for the Sensing preference. People who have the letter S in your MBTI type tend to process things in a step-by-step linear sequence and observe and remember specific information. They also tend to focus on the facts and what can be observed via their five senses.”
“N is for the Intuition (because we already used the letter I for Introversion) and people who have a preference for Intuition generally learn by seeing the big picture and themes, and thinking about how specific information is connected.”
Using these definitions, here’s the people I think might fit with each.
Not to say that these people are incapable of intuition, it’s just how I categorize them based on how I think they naturally…well, think. Of course, everyone’s capable of doing the opposite one that I put them in. It’s not so black and white.
S - Berenice, Lenore, Eulalie, Prospero, Morella, Ada, Duke
N - Annabel, Pluto, Will, Montresor
Berenice and Lenore are more straightforward. I think they’re very similar in terms of how they carry themselves. They want to rely on their bodies and senses to perceive information. What they see, hear, taste, etc. Eulalie is the type to observe things in order and pick out specific things to focus on. Prospero is the same. Morella also likes to use her own senses to perceive, wanting to be able to connect to whatever it is using her own body. Ada does something similar to Morella, aching to connect with whatever she is perceiving and therefore by using her own senses, feels smarter. And Duke, as a performer, uses all of his senses ALL THE TIME. When on stage, he has to be aware of every single thing to avoid a mistake. The big picture is the show- he cannot afford to hyper focus on one little thing, because everything else will suffer in quality.
Annabel I put in N because she tends to overanalyze- she will look at EVERYTHING to come to a proper conclusion. Will because he has to look at every single factor in terms of studying others- he has to maneuver very carefully in general to avoid being tossed aside. Pluto is vibes tbh. Montresor I put because he’s chaos. He isn’t gonna look at something in a linear way and come to a conclusion based on facts. He’s going to jump around and pick out what interests him.
Next: Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Pretty self explanatory. Decisions based on logic vs feelings.
T - Prospero, Annabel, Eulalie, Will, Duke
F - Lenore, Berenice, Pluto, Morella, Montresor, Ada
Prospero and Annabel are self explanatory. Eulalie because I think she is more of a blunt thinker. Like she’s more inclined to say something because it’s true, not because of a feeling. Will is an over thinker; his feelings don’t matter. And I think Duke is honestly a mix of both but I put him in Thinking because of his tendency to want to be perceived as someone who isn’t bothered/consistently charismatic. So he might disregard his own feelings to make a decision.
Honestly I think everyone else is self explanatory. Montresor in Feeling because he makes his decisions based on what HE wants.
And lastly, Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)
Using the website definitions again. Judging = people who have preferences for plans, lists, structure.
Perceiving = They crave flexibility, more open minded to spontaneous decisions, make sudden decisions, more likely to do things last minute.
J - Annabel, Prospero, Pluto, Morella (but wants to be P), Will
P - Lenore, Eulalie, Berenice, Duke, Montresor, Ada
Now a lot of these are self explanatory again but I’ll explain Will’s. I think having a strict plan/everything set out in front of him puts him at ease because he knows he’s prone to messing up.
So mix and match these and I guess you get what I’d think their types are? Maybe!! This was honestly so fun so thank you!!
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dailykugisaki · 6 months
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Day 148 | id in alt
Kugisaki is fine because she blames the one at the root of it all (Weird white haired people: excluding Inumaki)
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"Let's Have a Talk, First"- Stereotypes, pt 1
Come sit down. You and I, before we get into any of the things I'm sure you're impatient to know: we need to have a come to Jesus talk, first.
There are some things that I've been asked and seen that strengthens my belief that we need to have a reframing of the conversation on stereotypes in media away from something as simple as "how do I find the checklist of stereotypes to avoid". Because race- and therefore racial stereotypes- is a complex construct! Stands to reason then, that seeing, understanding, and avoiding it won't be that simple! I'm going to give you a couple pointers to (hopefully) help you rethink your approach to this topic, and therefore how to apply it when you're writing Black characters- and even when thinking about Black people!
Point #1: DEVELOP THE CHARACTER!! WRITE!!
Excuse my crude language, but let me be blunt: Black people- and therefore Black characters- will get angry at things, and occasionally make bad choices in the heat of the moment. Some of us like to fuck real nasty, some might be dominant in the bedroom, they may even be incredibly experienced! Others of us succumb to circumstance and make poor decisions that lead to crime.
None of those things inherently makes any of us angry Black women and threatening Black men, Jezebels and BBC Mandingos, and gangsters and thugs!
Black people are PEOPLE! Write us as such!
If all Black characters ever did was go outside, say "hi neighbor!" and walk back in the house, we'd be as boring as racist fans often accuse.
I say this because I feel I've seen advice that I feel makes people think writing a Black character that… Emotes negatively, or gets hurt by life and circumstance, or really enjoys hard sex, or really any scenario where they might "look bad" is the issue. I can tell many people think "well if I write that, then it's a stereotype" and to avoid the difficulty, they'll probably end up writing a flat Black character or not writing them at all. Or- and I've seen this too- they'll overcompensate in the other direction, which reveals that they 'wrote a different sort of Black person!' and it comes off just as awkwardly because it means you think that the Black people that do these things are 'bad'. And I hate that, because we're capable of depth, nuance, good, evil, adventure, world domination, all of it!
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My point is, if you write your character like the human being they are, while taking care to recognize that you as the writer are not buying into stereotypes with your OWN messaging, you're fine. We have emotions, we have motivations and goals, we make decisions, and we make mistakes, just like anybody else. Write that! Develop your character!
POINT #2: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE READERS!!
Okay. You can write the GREATEST Black character ever, full of depth, love, nuance, emotional range, all those things…. And people are still going to be racist about them. Sorry. There is absolutely nothing you can do to control a reader coming from that place of bias you sought to avoid. If it's not there, TRUST AND BELIEVE, it'll be projected onto them.
That passionate young Black woman who told the MC to get her head out of her ass? Yeah she's an angry Black bitch now, and bully to the sweet white MC. Maybe a lesbian mommy figure if they like her enough to "redeem" her. That Black gay male lead that treats his partner like he worships the ground he walks on? Yeah he's an abusive thug that needs to die now because he disagreed One Time with his white partner. That Black trans woman who happened to be competing against the white MC, in a story where the white MC makes comparable choices? Ohhhh they're gonna be VILE about that poor woman.
It really hurts- most especially as a Black fan and writer- knowing that you have something amazing to offer (as a person and creative) and people are gonna spit on that and call it "preference". That they can project themselves onto white characters no matter what, but if you project your experiences onto black characters, it's "pandering", "self insert", "woke", "annoying", "boring", and other foul things we've all gotten comments of.
But expect that it's gonna happen when you write a Black character, again, especially if you're a Black writer. If you're not Black, it won't hurt as personally, but it will probably come as a shock when you put so much effort in to create a lovely character and people are just ass about them. Unfortunately, that is the climate of fandom we currently exist in.
My favorite example is of Louis De Pointe Du Lac from AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Louis is actually one of the best depictions of the existential horror that is being Black in a racist White world I have ever seen written by mostly nonblack people. It was timeless; I related to every single source of racist pain he experienced.
People were HORRIFIC about Louis.
It didn't matter that he was well written and what he symbolized; many white viewers did NOT LIKE this man. There's a level of empathy and understanding that Black characters in particular don't receive in comparison to white counterparts, and that's due to many of those stereotypes and systemic biases I'm going to talk about.
My point is, recognize that while yes, you as the author have a duty to write a character thoughtfully as you can, it's not going to stop the response of the ignorant. Writing seeking to get everyone to understand what you were trying to do… Sisyphean effort. It's better to focus on knowing that YOU wrote something good, that YOU did not write the stereotype that those people are determined to see.
POINT #3: WHY is something a stereotype?
While there are lists of stereotypes against Black people in media and life that can be found, I would appreciate if people stopped approaching it as just a list of things you can check off to avoid. You can know what the stereotypes are, sure, but if you don't understand WHY they're a problem and how they play into perception of us, you'll either end up writing a flat character trying to avoid that list, or you're going to write other things related to that stereotype because "oh its not item #1"... and it'll still be racist.
For example: if you wrote a "sassy Black woman" that does a z formation neck rotation just because a store manager asked her something… that's probably stereotype. If you thought of a character that needed to be "loudmouthed", "sassy", and "strong" and a dark-skinned black woman was automatically what fit the profile in your mind, ding ding ding! THAT'S where you need to catch your racist biases.
But a dark-skinned Black woman character cursing out a store manager because she's had a really bad, stressful day and their attitude towards her pushed her over the edge may be in the wrong, but she's not an "angry Black woman". She's a Black woman that's angry! And if you wrote the day she had to be as bad as would drive anyone to overstimulation and anxiety, the blow up will make sense! The development and writing behind her led to this logical point (which connects to point #1!)
I'm not going to provide a truly exhaustive list of Black stereotypes in media because that would ACTUALLY be worth a college credited class and I do this for free lmao. But I am going to provide some classic examples that can get y'all started on your own research.
POINT #4: WATCH BLACK NARRATIVES!
As always, I'm gonna push supporting Black creators, because that's the best way to see the range of what you'd like. You want to see Black villains? We got those! Black heroes? Black antiheroes? Assholes, lovers, comedians, depressed, criminals, kings, and more? They exist! You can get inspired by watching those movies and reading those books, see how WE depict us!
I've seen mixed reviews on it, BUT- I personally really enjoyed Swarm, because it was one of the first times I'd ever seen that "unhinged obsessed murderous Black fan girl" concept. Tumblr usually loves that shit lmao. Even the "bites you bites you bites you [thing I love]" thing was there. And she liked girls, too. Just saying. I thought it was a fun idea that I'd love to see more of. Y'all gotta give us a chance to be in these roles, to tell these tales. We can do it too, and you'd enjoy it if you tried to understand it!
POINT#5: You are NOT Black!
This is obvious lmao, but if you're not Black, there's no need to pretend. There's no need to think "oh well I have to get a 100% perfect depiction of the Black person's mind". That's… That's gonna look cringe, at its best. You don't have to do that in order to avoid stereotypes. You're not going to be able to catch every nuance because it's not your lived experience, nor is it the societally enforced culture. Just… Do what you can, and if you feel like it's coming off hokey… Maybe consider if you want to continue this way lol. If you know of any Black beta readers or sensitivity reviewers, that'd be a good time to check in!
For example, if your Black character is talking about "what's good my homie" and there's absolutely no reason for him to be speaking that way other than to indicate that he's Black… 😬 I can't stop you but… Are you sure?
An egregious example of a TERRIBLE way to write a Black character is the "What If: Miles Morales/Thor" comic. I want to emphasize the lack of good Black character design involved in some of these PROFESSIONAL art spaces, because that MARVEL comic PASSED QA!! That comic went past NUMEROUS sets of eyes and was APPROVED!! IT GOT RELEASED!! NO ONE STOPPED IT!!
I'm sorry, it was just so racist-ly bad that it was hilarious. Like you couldn't make that shit up.
Anyway, unfortunately that's how some of y'all sound trying to write AAVE. I promise that we speak the Queen's English too lmao. If you're worried you won't get it right, just use the standard form of English. It's fine! Personally, I'd much rather you do that than try to 'decode AAVE' if you don't know how to use it.
My point is, if you're actively "forcing" yourself to "think Black"… maybe you need to stand down and reconsider your approach lmao. This is why understanding the stereotypes and social environment behind them will help you write better, because you can incorporate that Blackness- without having to verbally "emphasize how Black this is"- into their character, motivations, and actions.
Conclusion
We need to reconsider how we approach the concepts of stereotypes when writing our Black characters. The goal is not to cross off a checklist of things to avoid per se, but to understand WHY we have to develop our Black characters well enough to avoid incorporating them into our writing. Give your Black characters substance- we're human beings! We have motivations and fears and desires! We're not perfect, but we're not inherently flawed because of our race. That's what makes the difference!
And as always, and really in particular for this topic, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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navybrat817 · 4 months
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Jawbreaker
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.
He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.
But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.
Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.
Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.
“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.
The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”
Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”
You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.
Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”
A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.
“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.
The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”
You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.
You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.
The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.
And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.
Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.
Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”
“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?
“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.
The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.
The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.
And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.
A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”
He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.
The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”
Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”
“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”
“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.
Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.
“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”
You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.
And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”
“Yes, Sir.”
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Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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cherubfae · 7 months
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accidentally shrunk! || hazbin x reader
with alastor, lucifer, husk, angel dust, & vox
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tags: gn!reader, ftm!reader for angie, fluff, comedy, established relationships,
Alastor
He is quite amused by the whole ordeal, if not a touch worried for your wellbeing. You're utterly tiny, capable of sitting in the palm of his hand like a tiny doll. His claw gently nudges your cheek, tilting your chin up. Using his own magic proves to be futile. After several attempts he's still unable to change you back to your normal self. He isn't sure why his powers don't seem to be taking effect.
Alastor doesn't let anyone else touch or hold you. Legit will hold you in his hand above his head should Vaggie or Charlie try to get a better look at you.
"No, no, no," Alastor clicks his tongue. "I'm afraid I'm not comfortable in letting my dearest love be held by anyone but me. Surely, you understand." He gives you a little smile, his thumb gently stroking your head.
You aren't a little toy and the last thing he wants happening if Niffty mistaking you for a roach, so he prefers to have you sitting atop his shoulder, his head, or safely tucked into the pocket of his waistcoat with your tiny little head poking out to watch the world around you. As much as he finds you adorable and vulnerable in this state, he does prefer you as yourself. He'll probably head to Rosie first, he wants nothing to do with Lucifer. She always has her ear to the ground and he's certain he'll get you returned to normal soon.
Lucifer
Well, that's new. Lucifer is easily able to turn you back to yourself but he wants to have a little fun first. He lifts you up and presses little kisses all over your face, giggling to himself when you press your hands to his rosy cheeks.
"Can't help it, sweetheart! You're too cute!" He gently nuzzles your cheek, placing a loving kiss to the top of your head. He'll shapeshift himself into a mouse and pretend that you're a little fairy about to battle for Narnia.
When he finally turns you back, he is relieved. He much prefers you as your lovely self where you're able to snuggle into his side and hold you properly to his chest, sharing many kisses between you two.
Husk
Shit, this ain't good, but at least yer havin' fun, baby. Husk sighs, leaning his chin against his paws. His yellow eyes flick back and forth in amusement as you treat the bar counter like your own slip-and-slide, watching as you spin around on the shiny wood with a small squeak.
Husk catches you with his tail before you can slide off, lightly placing you back on your feet mirroring the grin you give him. "I'm glad you're having a good time but we gotta figure out how to turn ya back, hun." He leans back against the stool, hoping Charlie has found something or someone who may be able to offer some help.
Charlie, on queue, comes rushing down the stairs holding a light pink pearlescent vial in her hands. "Let's try this!" She stands triumphantly, proudly holding out the vial in her hands. "A drop or two on their head should bring them back to normal height. I have a feeling this will work, but as Plan B we can go to my Dad!" She beams.
Husk nods, giving you a tiny peck on top of your head that only serves to make Charlie coo. Placing you on the floor, Charlie uncaps the vial. A shimmery fuschia-purple liquid smelling of sweet berries oozes out and gently drops onto your head.
A whoosh of pink and yellow unfurls out and soon you're standing before them as mostly yourself. Your hair is now a dyed vibrant pink. Across the room, Alastor who is casually reading the newspaper, snaps his fingers and poof! Your hair is back to normal!
"You could've helped them this whole time?!" Husk hisses, fur bristling. Alastor hums, taking a sip of his black coffee, "Hmm no, just their hair. Good thing they're back in one piece, yes?" He grins. "Too bad you didn't play a little cat and mouse with them. That would have been a sight to behold!"
Angel Dust
As adorable as you are, Angel is fuckin panicking. He's not quite sure what to do and he's terrified of someone accidentally stepping on you. "Okay, baby, I've got ya, hang on!" Angel places you on his chest fluff, his hand holding you in place. Upon returning to his room, Angel begins to pace, wracking his brain for some sort of quick fix.
Depending on how long this magic lasts, Angel will 100% want to play dress up with you and have you try on cute outfits or perhaps make a cute little dollhouse for you. He's too scared of crushing you in his sleep so until this wears off, he doesn't want to risk anything happening to you. He's also worried about Niffty mistaking you for a bug, so when he's out and about, he keeps you close to him at all times. If he has to leave and can't take you with, he instructs Vaggie and Charlie to look after you.
"Do not let Niffty or the Egg Bois around them, got it?" His stern eyes are narrowed, making an expression that he's watching Sir Pentious. "Keep the Eggies in line."
Vox
What the fuck? He blinks, a jolt of electricity nearly short-circuiting himself. "Babe, what the fuck happened to you?" Vox scoops you into his hands, holding you to his chest. He's doing his best not to panic, convinced this is another one of Alastor's stupid fucking pranks. (Alastor has done absolutely nothing. However, Vox swears any inconvenience that happens to him is caused by Alastor's hands.)
Thankfully whatever has happened wasn't permanent. A tiny explosion of sparkles and a poof blue dust has the futuristic demon stumbling back, sighing when you're standing there at your normal height with a hand pressed to your head.
"Holy shit, what the fuck happened?" Vox presses, grasping your hand and pulling you into his lap. He's cupping your face between clawed hands checking for any sign of injury. "Was it Alastor?" You shake your head, coughing out some blue sparkly dust.
"Nah, got caught under some pollen demon's magic on my way to HQ." You grumble, leaning your head onto your boyfriend's shoulder. Vox sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Ok, ok, well, you're back," he grumbles. "Don't do that to me again."
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uranometrias · 4 months
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goodbye love, you flew right by , spencer reid
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this was inspired by the season fourteen episode 'truth or dare'... it's my take on the jeid confession aftermath. listen to ceilings while you read, but don't think too deeply into it, because the story has a happy ending... this is only part 1 though, and it ends on a awkward/angsty note, so sorry. reader passes out from a head blow.
i wanted it to be short, but i have no self control.
you tried to keep your mind on your training, you didn't really have time to panic, you needed to stay calm. you focused all your energy on your breathing, willed your fear away with thoughts of better things. you didn't even want to focus on the fact that spencer was across from you, hands pinned behind his back as he stared up at the manic man that was currently holding you, your boyfriend, and your closest work friend hostage. you believed in your team, and what you were capable of, you knew without a doubt you'd make it out alive.
"casey..." spencer speaks, his voice has matured over the years, rightfully. he sounds so official, and you find yourself sitting a touch straighter at the sharpness behind his words. jj was standing up, eyes glued directly on your captor, her face was pinched up with the proof of her worry. she catches your eye, and looks forlorn, you only hope that she sees the resilience resting in your own eyes, as you try and offer a semblance of hope through your own gaze.
"shut up!" he shouts, and his gun is aimed at spencer. he spits the words out, quickly stomping towards jj as he forced her to the floor.
"okay, okay!" she exclaims, and it's clear that he's hurting her. his patience has run thin, and jj's plan of getting through to him by playing along with his sick 'truth or dare' game was proving to be all for not. your foot unconsciously begins to tap, likely a nervous habit that you have no time to unpack. you're still too busy trying to appear unbothered, it always seemed to tick the unsubs off when it seemed like their bravado meant nothing. that's what you needed. you couldn't afford to let him think that he scared you.
"last chance." and his gun's trained directly at jj's head. "something you'd never say aloud, not even to your friends here." and casey's whirling around to point the gun in your direction, you think it might have been a mistake for him to turn around. when he sees your foot tapping his face contorts, he's annoyed with you, angry with you. your arms are uncomfortable from the way they were taped together behind your back, and the foot tapping has become involuntary.
his reaction is almost instantaneous, and you think you understand why the team's always telling you not to get so lost in your own mind.
casey's grabbing you by your arm and it hurts, especially as his nails manage to pierce through the skin. he seems to be doing it on purpose, yanking you up to your feet as jj and spencer both surge into action. "wait, wait, please-" jj's leaning forward, eyes wide and full of fear for the first time since this whole ordeal began. spencer's scared too, but he hides it much better you think.
"please, don't hurt her." he begs, and you find it a bit annoying that he's brought them to the point of begging, of using manners to appeal to his ego. casey's eyes jump from spencer to jj, and then to you, and he's sneering. he whirls you around, arm looping around your neck as he presses the barrel of his gun directly to your temple. you sing along to your favorite song in your head, using it as a way to stay grounded, it likely made you look like a mad man.
you supposed that it was your superpower, your ability to look death in the eye, and not flinch. the team often mentioned they weren't sure if you or emily was more stone-faced in a crises situation. "oh, you don't want me to hurt her?" he mocks, and you don't look at spencer, no, you keep your eyes on jj, because she's the one that has to play the game. if you didn't know spencer so well, you never would have noticed the slight movement of his arms, he was up to something.
he was fine.
jj was the one in the hot seat, and she needed you to be calm. freaking out would only make her all the more anxious. so you offer her a stern look, a look that expressed that you all would be okay. she doesn't look convinced. "i want your deepest, darkest secret." he insturcts, "impress me, or i'll kill her." and he slams the gun deep into your temple, the action dizzying as you try and maintain your balance. you feel pain blooming behind your eyes. "and then i'll kill him." he nods his head towards spencer, and jj's on the verge of tears.
you have no choice but to watch her, he's given you a first-class seat to the action. jj's eyes don't land on you though, instead she's looking over to spencer. he looks back at her, face pensive, but otherwise calm. she shudders for just a moment, and it looks like she's trying to work up the courage. "come on!" casey suddenly screams directly in your ear, and you flinch violently. it garners both jj and spencer's attention. casey tightens his hold on you, gun at the ready. "do you think this is a joke? do you think i won't blow this bitch's brains out?"
you're not too fond of being called a bitch, and the drama of it all, takes you out of the moment a bit. why were all unsubs so cliche?
jj takes in another shuddered breath, this one bordering on a sob as she takes in a puff of air. it takes her a moment to get her bearings, but then she's looking at spencer again. she offers him a weak smile, and you get a tingle up your spine, it feels like a warning for disaster. "spence..." she says his name weakly, voice harsh as she croaks. he's looking away from you finally, meeting the gaze of his best friend. "uh..." she inhales sharply. "um..." she looks at you then, and you're eyes are wide, confusion swirling there and she's exhaling.
there's a heaviness, a guilt that stares back at you, and you find yourself scared for the first time, but not of casey. no, you're scared of your friend. "i'm sorry." she mouths to you, and you watch as she looks back at your boyfriend, the clear love of your life. you feel dread then, because you know jj, you know her too well, and you know what's coming. why else would she be so worried, why else would she be looking at you with so much shame in her eyes. "i've-" she stops.
spencer's none the wiser, he wouldn't get it until she said it in full. so while you spiraled into despair, he sat patiently, doe-eyes wide and full of whatever innocence he still had left. you wish you could go back to before, you wish you hadn't been assigned to go with jj and spencer, if you were with the team you'd be none the wiser. you wouldn't feel so heartbroken, displaced, uncertain. but you're here now, and all you have to do is wait for the other shoe to drop. jj inhales, and you wish she would get it out. "i've always loved you."
and there it is.
you'd come to recognize the signs and signals of tears, it always started with your eyes burning like you'd been sitting in smoke. your nose stings next, and you bare down harshly on your tongue to keep them from falling. "and i was just too scared to say it before." it's a gut-punch, it would have likely knocked you on your ass had casey not been forcing you to take it all in. "and now things are just really too complicated to say it now." and she's crying, and that's how you know that she means it. that only makes you feel much worse.
jj, for all intents and purposes was a great actress, she could make any story believable, but she'd never been a good 'fake crier'. she could hide every single one of her tells when she spoke, but emotions were harder to manage. you remembered how she'd told you that one day while the two of you were hanging out. you don't know what brought you there, but she'd made it clear, that tears for her were hard to fake. which left you with what? a best friend that was in love with your boyfriend?
"i'm sorry, but you should know." and you'd hoped she'd at least have the decency to look at you. she doesn't. instead, she's still looking at spencer, and you feel like you're intruding. more than that you feel so stupid. spencer's got this look on his face, this shock and awe and confusion that makes you want to vomit, it makes you want to throw yourself to the ground and throw a tantrum. you want to open your mouth and scream, remind them that 'hey, you're here too'... remind them that you were apart of this, that this was a very very bad thing.
hope was not the sort of look he should be wearing, it's not how he should be responding. you don't know what you'd expected, but certainly not for him to look so relieved, not while you were sitting right there in front of him with a gun to your head. he gives her a half smile though, and you crumble. casey's suddenly chuckling, shoulders rocking as they're pulled out of their little moment. "hot damn!" and he's releasing the gun from your temple, holding it like a little prop, as he forced you back to the ground.
you don't resist, your knees slamming into the floor as you conceal your wince, conceal everything.
"now that's what i'm talking about." casey mutters excitedly. "now those are some last words right there..." he nods his head. he then looms over her, gun pointed directly in her face. "but not good enough to save your life-" before he can hope to pull the trigger, spencer has shot him. the shot echoes all around you, but it doesn't seem to pull you from your muffled mind. casey falls to the floor, jj jumping as he lands down next to her. she shudders violently.
then she's looking back at him, at spence. your spence.
you don't like how it makes you feel, that they've conjured this small habit of getting lost in one another. you clear your throat, and they're finally, finally looking at you. jj looks mortified, but you can't read spencer at all. he doesn't look at jj again, doesn't say a word, instead he's looking at you. you should feel something other than rejection, but you don't. not even when his eyes seem to brim with all those feelings that you know he has for you, because now it feels fake.
he's quick in the way he rushes towards you, kneeling as he inspects you like porcelain. his dominant hand moves to gently brush over where you'd been hit with the gun. you don't want him to touch you though, so you pull back, it's more like a hard jerk, like you were frightened of his touch. you try to play it off, pretend it never happened, but you know that he knows. it felt like the beginning of the end, like the prerequisite to something god-awful.
he looks so upset, hurt by the action, but you think out of the two of you, you're the one who's really hurt. "can you just get me out of these, please?" you don't sound like yourself either, instead you sound hollow, like a grieving woman. you probably are, grieving that is. spencer gives you a worn down nod, but maneuvers until he's behind you. he gently tugs at the tape, but it still hurts as it strips at your skin. you bare your teeth, but don't say anything, head hanging low, until he was done. he offers you his hand, you ignore it.
"y/n." jj calls, and she sounds so distraught. you ignore her too, you don't know what other choices you have. the room's not big enough to hide in, so instead you find yourself rushing over to melissa. you think it's silly, to leave the two of them alone while so much hung in the air, but it was better that way. "melissa." you say her name quietly, kneeling in front of her, despite how shabby they felt. "i need you to hang on, okay?" you exhale shakily.
"help will be here before you know it." you promise, and you're pressing on her wound, blood smearing your hands and your fingertips as she winced painfully. you don't hear anything from jj and spencer, but it doesn't make it better. clearly a glance was all it took for the two of them now. you hate the way this has thrown you, you don't exactly know why you're so fearful. jj was married, she had two sons she adored, and a marriage she was happy in. so why did it feel like the confession was the start of something bad.
were you so insecure that you felt like you didn't stand a chance?
you don't want to think about that, it might actually be enough to make you upchuck. instead, your masochistic mind has you chancing a glance back to where it all went down. you see that spencer has taken the tape off her hands. she's looking up at him, and he's staring down at her. you think that you hate them then. the door bursts open a second later, and you're glad. soon enough a medic would come to see to the wounded, and you could get the hell out of dodge.
"we're going to need an EMT, we've got three down." you exclaim. the room immediately jumps into action. you hear the incessant thrum of conversation as everyone jumped into action, and you're more than grateful when you feel someone looming. your mistake was believing it would be a medic, your face falls flat when you're met with the sight of jj. she had always had a bad habit of trying to force the hard conversations. today though, you were determined to stand your petty ground. you avert your gaze, attention back on melissa.
"y/n, please don't do this." she says this quietly, and you hear the genuine anguish in her voice. it doesn't sway you, it can't possibly.
"it's already done." you quip, and you're grateful to have slowed the bleeding of melissa's wound, as a medic takes your place, finally. you stand to your feet, bloodstained hands itching to smear against your jeans, but you refrain. you ignore rossi and tara's questions, not really in the mood to answer different variations of the 'are you alright?' game. you needed air. silly you to think it'd be over just because you'd willed it to be. just as you're stepping outside, you feel a warm hand encompassing your wrist. you don't want to stop, but it's habitual.
"let me go, spencer." you try quietly. you don't want to be that girl, the one that lashes out, and causes a scene. diplomacy was the name of the game. your eyes are glued to the ground, you didn't want to picture him with that stupid hopeful look on his face anymore. you knew that night when you closed your eyes you'd see it over and over. it would taunt you, play on an endless loop while you tore yourself to shreds. what was it about her? why was this happening to you?
"i can't." he replies, and you wish he'd spoken to you earlier. you wish that he had communicated with his mouth, rather than with his eyes. maybe you wouldn't be so far gone. it didn't have to be a big deal, because at least you would have known that it didn't matter. that her confession hadn't changed anything, but he'd stayed silent, and he'd looked at her in a way he'd never looked at you before. you knew there was history, you'd heard whispers from derek and penelope about a football game from years and years ago.
you had never expected for it to matter now.
"you can, you're just choosing to hold me hostage." you mumble, and despite your anger, you can't lash out. you can't be irrational.
"i'm not going to let you leave angry with me." and you hate how he knows you so well. you think it's something you'll miss. "i want us to talk about it, i think that we need to." he says in that voice he often used when he was trying to gently guide you towards the right choice. you don't want to be policed or treated like you were the one that had messed things up. all he'd needed to do was shut it down, all you'd wanted him to do was not look so happy, like it was something he'd spent his entire life waiting for.
"what's there to talk about, spencer? it's happened, okay? let's just move on, before this turns into something it doesn't need to." you shoot back, and he's not convinced, nor is he willing to budge.
"you're treating me like some stranger, as if i don't know you well enough to see when you're lying to me." he's gaining that disappointed lilt to his voice, and you think long gone are all your chances of getting out of this place without it turning into a full blown soap opera meltdown. "we're not going to get anywhere if you can't be truthful with me." he adds, and you don't want a lecture, because you'd done nothing wrong. you were the one casey had held, you were the one that had a gun pressed to your temple.
you weren't the one that made the life changing confession.
"i'm asking you to drop this." you say sharply, and you're hoping to snatch your arm away from spencer. he doesn't let you, and on any other occasion you'd feel so protected, so wanted. now though, you feel claustrophobic, trapped, you didn't feel safe. "i understand that you're trying to preserve our relationship, and i wish i could tell you that this doesn't change anything..." his face morphs, eyes screaming at you not to proceed. "but i just need a second to wrap my head around all this, okay? can you give me that? space?"
to him space always felt like the beginning of the end. he thinks that's why he's determined not to let you go. "will you come back? if i let you go?" and he's already dropped you wrist, so you know that he's not really talking about right now. he sounds uncertain, scared, and it does remind you that there was love he felt towards you. the fear wraps around you, and you're not sure how it really makes you feel. you exhale shakily, and you don't want to give him the wrong answer.
"agent l/n." you're both being pulled back to reality, back to what was going on around you. you note the bleeding gash in his hand, likely from the shard he'd used to free himself from the tape and you sigh.
"i don't know, spence." and it's true. "i'm just a little bit confused right now." you admit. "and my feelings are hurt," you shake your head rapidly. spencer doesn't know how to express the way his mind is running. all he knew was that jj's confession would not be enough to make him want to throw away his time with you. he wanted you to know that you weren't a consolation prize, but he didn't know how to say it now without seeming ingenuine. he knew how it looked, he knew how he'd feel if he was in your shoes.
but, he wasn't in love with jj. he remembered a version of himself that tripped over himself at her gaze, the version that stayed up late at night replaying conversations in his head. a part of that guy would always exist, he couldn't lie and say it didn't. he loved her so wholeheartedly that sometimes it still managed to scare him, but she was an illusion, a fantasy. realistically he doubted they'd make sense in a romantic sort of sense, it was only something to think about... not something to uproot lives behind.
more than that though, he'd never felt for jj the way he felt for you. he remembered the first time you'd waltzed into the bullpen. you'd knocked him right on his ass, took every thought in his head, and made it your very own. you consumed his time, and he was willing to let you. he wanted you to be the only thing that could quiet his running mind, he wanted you to be the only person that could help him sleep. he didn't want to give this anymore attention than it needed, because he was set in his heart. it wasn't a question.
he didn't know why he couldn't just say that. why everything felt so lopsided and off focus now. his lips curve down into a deep pout.
"my head hurts." you mumble, your bottom lip trembling as spencer's frown deepens. he wants to hug you, but after your initial rejection he doesn't know if he can take another one. you feel a bit drowsy, likely a side-effect of the way casey had manhandled you.
"i know, you'll need to get checked out." he says quietly. "you might have a concussion, he really did a number on you." and despite his initial protests, and your earlier reaction, he's reaching for you again. you don't know if you're insecure, or if your profiling skills are allowing to see him for who he is, but the look in his eyes pushes you to relax. his fingers are gentle in the way they cradle your face, and instinctively you're leaning into his palm, cheek pressing against his hand. "i'm sorry." and you don't know which part he's apologizing for.
"can you come with me?" a quiet and still hopeful question. "we could sit together in the ambulance, pretend everything's alright just for a second?" you offer, and you think that's an answer to his question in itself. you didn't know how long it would take to get checked out, you didn't know how long it would take for them to bandage his hand and assess him for other scrapes and bruises, but you could take advantage of it, just the two of you. you could sit in silence, and dance around in that space between love and betrayal.
it was possible.
"y-yeah." he didn't stutter much anymore, so it stands out and makes you want to frown. "we can do that." his expression is torn, and you want to know what's on his mind, what he was thinking. you needed to know, you wanted some sort of sign, anything, that would show you he hadn't given up on you all because jj was in love with him. you hoped you weren't that disposable. "i want to." he adds, and he blinks harshly, almost like he's warding off tears, and it feels so awkward. the usual banter, the back and forth, the flirty remarks that always managed to leave you both shy were all gone.
in a matter of moments.
"good." and at the very least, he's here with you right now. "give me your hand." and you're careful not to grab the one he'd split with the glass, instead stepping around him to pull his clean palm into your slightly stained one. your fingers interlock, and it's a habit, a natural one at this point. "don't think too hard about it." you instruct, and he scoffs at you. he's upset, he's disappointed, hurting, angry, confused, you can see it. all his emotions seem to pile up on one another.
"how can i not?" he asks, and he sounds so tired. "it feels like you're seconds away from telling me that you're done with me." you're a not surprised at the pivot in his demeanor.
"isn't that what you want now?" you've started to walk, and spencer's letting you lead him, not quite ready to let your hand go once you reached the medic that was currently trying their hand at getting your attention. "i mean the girl you've always loved just put herself on a silver platter." you adds with a quiet sneer a second later. "what do you need me for?" you question, and he hates the feeling of his heart mimicking the sensation of pulling and squeezing. it hurts.
"y/n..." he tries, and you shake your head. "you have to know that nothing has changed." he promises, and you scoff. it stops you in your tracks.
"everything's changed!" you hiss. "she's in love with you. jj, our friend. she's been harboring feelings for you for years, but nothing's changed?" you huff, a tear seems to find joy in slipping from your eye in that moment. it's just one, but you know it's a opener to the main event. it's probably because despite everything, he makes you feel safest. part of that safety came an inability to shield your emotions and reactions from him. you'll have to try your darndest to do so now.
you don't really know if you can conceal them, but you don't want them to turn into full blown sobs. a few stray tears were easy to ignore, but the second it became a meltdown you knew you were finished. this wasn't your secret to share, and despite how angry you were with jj, you knew that it wasn't her fault. things were complicated, and you couldn't fully blame her for how she felt. you just wondered if she was biding her time, if she thought she was better suited for spencer than you. did she actually like you?
did she actually believe all that she'd told you regarding your relationship with spencer?
'i've never seen him smile so big' ... 'you guys are actually perfect for each other' ... 'tell us y/n, are you gonna be the one to give spence a few baby geniuses? the boys need some cousins'. your heart aches at the thought of it all being nothing but lip service. but you'd never expose her to the team, you'd never hurt will and the boys like that. which meant you'd have to shape up before the team was back.
"i mean for myself. nothing's changed for me and the way that i feel for you." he presses. "i wouldn't just toss our time together away like that." spencer looks stern as he scolds you. "was there a time that i thought about what it would be like? to be with jj... to-to have her love me back? yes... i won't lie about it." he says, and your face crumples up, and you want to run away. you don't know what he's getting at, but his words don't help as much as he might've hoped.
it causes you to yank your hand away, head shaking back and forth as you step back. "i said that i didn't want to talk about it." and you feel hypocritical because you'd thrown a few rocks to get you to this point in the conversation. "so stop it, okay? we're going to let it go, and we're going to talk about something else." you try your hand at deflecting. spencer's got an exceptional amount of patience, you see it wearing thin on his face, but you're not willing to budge.
"no, we need to talk about this." spencer argues. "i'm not going to pretend with you, and we've been together long enough for you to realize that you don't have to pretend with me, either." he adds. "if we don't now... i'm scared that we never will, and you're- you're angry with me, and i need you to tell me why." he pleads. "if we can't deal with things like this, we'll never make it past the hard stuff." he exhales, "i really want to make it past the hard stuff with you."
"i don't want to talk about it." you feel yourself getting a bit more irrational, angrier. your head feels like it's hurting even more, throbbing as it passed behind your eyes.
"why are you acting like this?" he's growing a bit frantic, he's got abandonment issues, and it feels like you might leave. he's lost a lot of people in his life, he's never been the best with change, he's never been the best with moving on, getting past the hard stuff. he doesn't want to push you too far, but he feels like he's got to hold on tight or risk losing you forever. "why can't you just tell me what you're thinking? if you're gonna vent, why not with me? let me help-"
"i don't want you to do anything for me!" you snap, and you're getting looks from the officers outside. you see rossi and his eyes are directly trained on the both of you. the rest of the team is scattered about, but much like rossi they're looking your way. it's officially become a scene. you run your hands across your face, dried blood caking over your skin, as you press your hands together, taking in a shaky breath. "i told you that i didn't want to talk about it." you remind him harshly.
"y/n-" you don't give him the chance to say much else, because you're immediately cutting him off.
"no!" you're ensuring your volume stays at appropriate levels, especially now that you seemed to have garnered a small audience. tara's still looking, and you know that every so often jj's taking it all in too. you at least owe it to the both of you to not go too far. "i want you to respect that maybe this isn't something you can fix with your extensive knowledge." you proceed. "you're smart as a whip, but boy do you still have a lot to learn about emotions." and you think you might have gone too far. you've definitely gone too far.
your head is really hurting though, and your vision's getting spotty. you don't have it in you to be politically correct, but you see the way his face morphs, how he looks so hurt. he towered over you, but he never looked more like a little boy than he did in that moment. "and my feelings... whatever they may be aren't just something that you can push out of me to make yourself feel better. this isn't just going to go away and be fixed by bed time, doctor reid."
he blinks.
"i wasn't-" he exhales, heartbeat wanting to rise in his chest. "that's not-" he's not prone to panic attacks, but he knew a lot about them. he knew how they could come out of no where, and be crippling. he was panicking, freaking out, mostly because he was being misunderstood. he never wanted you to misunderstand him, especially as it pertained to his intentions and his feelings towards you. "i wasn't trying to manage your feelings... i-" he's trying to breathe. "i just want us to be okay, i don't want to lose you."
you want to reply, really you do. you don't think you can though, because your brain feels like it's about to erupt. your knees lock, and you almost jerk. spencer's eyes widen and he's surging forward to catch you the second you start to fall. it brings him to his knees, split hand be damned. "y/n." and his suspicions about your concussion were confirmed, it makes guilt lash at him instantly. if he'd just bit his tongue, you wouldn't have passed out. he'd let you get too overwhelmed, you'd told him your head was bothering you.
he's so busy beating himself up, and trying to ensure that you were breathing, he doesn't even realize that matt's trying to garner his attention. "hey, what happened?" and he snaps out of it when tara's gently shoving at his arm. he feels like everything's going in slow motion now, he's just concerned about you. that's nothing new.
"i think she has a concussion..." he mutters. "casey-" he tightens his hold on you. "casey hit her in the head." he explains, and he wonders why he hadn't been more diligent earlier. the EMTs are joining next, and he should feel more relieved that you'll be getting the care you need. he knows most times unconsciousness wanes about fifteen minutes from the time that the victim passes out, but it doesn't calm him down. guilt was one hell of a problem.
"she's gonna be alright." tara is telling him, as they're rising to their feet, eyes following the stretcher you were laid out on. "she's a real fighter." and he already knows that, he thinks you're the strongest person in the world, but he should've never pushed you.
"spence!" jj's calling him, and she's approaching before he can reply. "what happened?" she sounds about as worried as he feels. guilt clearly was a dinner for two. "is she okay? w-what's wrong with y/n?" she fires off, and spencer thinks he should be the one talking to the EMTs and not tara and matt, but he can't seem to move. or respond, based on the way jj's face contorts. "spence!" she calls him again.
that snaps him out of his reverie.
"she's got a concussion, it's all my fault." he says what he's thinking. "i shouldn't have tried to force her to talk-" and he hates that right now is the moment he decides to word vomit. "i just-" he looks up at jj, who's got a mixture of emotions swirling in her eyes. "i should have let her go get checked out." he explains.
"this isn't your fault. spence, you're not the one that gave her a concussion. you're not the one that hurt her, casey was." she insists.
"casey's not the one that blew everything up." his retort is quick, and in hindsight, he doesn't blame jj for anything. he knows things are complicated, tricky, weird. but he doesn't want her to be the one to comfort him, and tell him everything was going to be fine. not right now.
"what? are you blaming me now?" jj asks, and she sounds heartbroken. spencer thinks he's getting used to the feeling of his foot being in his mouth. there's a moment of tense silence, a stare off that occurs where neither of them knows what to say. they don't know how to proceed, and he doesn't know why he keeps getting caught in this limbo of not knowing what to say. "i didn't mean to make things difficult." she finally says. "i never-"
they're pulled from this moment by tara. "spencer." and his head turns. "are you going to ride along to the hospital?" and it should've been the natural decision, except he's not feeling particularly ready. he takes a small step back, and it's one everyone seems to notice. the only people that were privy to what went down in that room were you, jj, and himself, and yet it felt like in that moment the entire team was given a front row seat to the obvious aftermath.
something had shifted, changed.
"y-" he shakes his head. "you go ahead." he offers, and tara's eyebrows raise. her shock makes him feel worse, but she doesn't question it. she climbs into the ambulance, and soon enough they're peeling out. his hand still hurts, the gash gnawing at him, but it's a welcomed pain. he'll have to bandage it soon though.
"spence." jj's wearing this look, a mixture of emotions he doesn't want to deal with. "it wasn't your fault." she insists. it doesn't make him feel any better, instead he's forced to come to terms with the decision he'd just made. you'd been taken to the hospital, and he'd stayed behind. he'd stayed behind and been reassured by jj.
you were never going to forgive him.
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igotanidea · 7 months
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Despite everything: Damian Wayne x reader
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part 1 : Family rules
part 2: A moment of weakness
***
Damian Wayne was not the one to get scared easily.
Of course not. He was Robin, after all, fighting crime alongside Batman nearly every night, beating the shit out of the villains that dreaded at the sound of his name (as for the last part, that was more like something he wanted to believe rather than truth).
But when across the school corridor he noticed Y/N, with her face flushed (prettily though he quickly discarded that thought), eyes gleaming and walking towards him like an enraged bull, he shuddered involuntarily. His older brother(s) had enough experience with girls to give him countless advice on the girls, but there was only one Damian actually listened to.
Do not mess with a girl. Furious woman is more dangerous than all Gotham’s criminals combined.
And as for now, it seemed like he was going to experience that first-handed.
Or not-
Given the fact that before she could reach him, the school principal appeared out of thin air grabbing her shoulder and guiding Y/N towards his office, not giving her the slightest chance to slap Damian’s face or tear all his hair out. All she was capable of doing, evading the watchful gaze of the most important school official was send him a murderous glance, to which he responded with a vengeful smirk and a shrug of shoulders enraging her even more.
“Mr. Wayne!” the principal turned around following the girl’s gaze and spotting his second least favorite student. From the get go he knew Y/N Y/L/N and Damian Wayne would be giving him constant headaches and causing troubles. Maybe it was a mistake on his part to accept them to the same class. “You’ll come with us as well.”
“I refuse to be in the same school as this *** let alone the same room!”
“Miss Y/L/N! Control your language or I’ll put you in detention!” the head teacher tried to put the situation to order, failing spectacularly as nearly every student was now recording the event.
“Exactly, Y/N. I don’t understand the sudden rage of emotions in you, you are acting so irrational and erratic.” Damian smirked, once again feeling the need to take control over the situation. “you need to calm down.”
“You little prick!” now she almost threw herself at him, not caring about the comments or making a scene. He was going to pay for everything he did.
“ENOUGH!” the principal yelled. In his own opinion, the tone and volume of voice made the glass in the windows shake but in reality no one cared about the outburst. The corridor  did not go quiet as expected, students did not put down their phones and Damian and Y/N did not freeze in the middle of their respective movements with shock written all over their faces. The principal sighed in the sense of ignominious failure. ‘You.” He pointed at Y/N “and you” he gave Damian a look “with me. Now. And I don’t want to hear a word.” He hissed.
“Couldn’t you have just asked?” Y/N raised an eyebrow
“Really, Sir, given your position, you should have developed better self-control.”
They exchanged glances (that were calm and friendly at first before quickly giving way to the hateful and threatening ones) and followed the principal to his den, officially known as study.
If only they knew what was going on inside each other head.
If only she knew, that under all that pose and cold exterior he was actually feeling a little guilty of getting her into this mess and getting the sudden urge to become even colder to not let her get burned even more due to becoming too attached. All because he didn’t regret the kiss they shared and actually wanted more.
If only he knew that below all that enragement, she actually felt like crying her heart out letting out all the unfairness and showing how hurt she felt because of what he did (allegedly), begging for an explanation like a broken, pathetic child.  All because she didn’t regret the kiss they shared and actually wanted more.
***
“This is simply outrageous behavior! Gotham Academy has always pride itself of raising its student in the understanding of social norms and rules of decency. And you two have now put that reputation to harm.”
“Harm?” she scoffed “this is Gotham’s school. What kind of reputation are we talking about here? Last week, we had to evacuate the classrooms because of the sudden leak of fear gas.” She put the fingers in the air mocking the quote that was used in an official statement “we have zero reputation.”
“Well- um…”
“Yes, precisely. And what kind of indecency do you have in your mind, sir?” Damian smirked “this was all a pose for the press, just to gather the attention to my father’s event. Besides, are you suggesting that it was more than just a kiss, prey tell something forbidden amongst teenagers?”he mocked.
“Well- um…”
“I cannot quite comprehend why exactly are we here.” She continued, crossing arms over her chest and leaning back on the chair with a daring face expression “Do you, Wayne?”
“Not in the slightest Y/L/N.”
“You two are-“
“We are what exactly?”
“Well… um-“
“Not to be mean but I think there’s nothing you can accuse as of” she smirked, feeling the surge of victory.
“Your behavior actually make me think it’s kind of convenient to you to bring attention to your two students, isn’t it. Sir?” Damian made the same action as Y/N and neither of them realized how similar it made them look.
“So, what kind of punishment will you impose upon us? Breaking wheel?”
“Don’t be stupid, y/l/n. I’m sure it’ll be nothing less than cangue.”
“Maybe gag to stop the flow of those meaningless words out of your mouth.”
“I’ll suggest burning on the pile for you witch.”
“Asshole.”
“Dumbass.”
They both smirked again their faces full of vengeance and then their eyes landed back on the face of the principal who seemed distressed and kind of desperate, not sure how to get out of this situation while keeping his face.
“So, sir?” she smiled innocently “what shall we expect as a punishment?”
“Do not keep us in the dark sir, we will gladly submit. Just try to think what my father might do if he finds out? Stop funding the school maybe?”
“Oh my God, you had to use the wealth argument! Low blow Wayne!” she rolled her eyes “maybe my father will stop organizing the students’ internship then huh?”
“I thought you were going bankrupt?” he mocked
“Will you shut up! Take your money and choke on them!”
They both rose from their feet standing mere inches from one another, threating to wage a war if the other did as much as blink in the wrong way.
“I hate you!”
“I hate you more!”
“You arrogant, selfish, ignorant, conceited prick!”
“You reckless, emotional, distracting, competitive freak!”
“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!” the principal finally reached the limits of his patience towards those two. It was impossible to fight two students, who were this dead set on making his life a living hell. And the truth was, that he couldn’t actually hold the kiss and the press against them. He had no legal or factual ground to interfere with students’ private life and if he did, either Y/N and Damian or worse – their fathers – or the worst -their lawyers would gladly remind him of that.
All there was left, was to hope that Wayne and F/L/N would have a talk with both of them respectively about fraternizing with the enemy.
“Get back to class. I can’t stand your faces, but I swear if something like that happens again –”
They were gone before the principal could even finish the sentence, showing him exactly how little respect he held in the school.
***
“that was fun.” She laughed wholeheartedly, for a second forgetting about all the negative feelings she was holding towards him after all the press incident and actually send him such a bright smile that made his legs tremble a little bit.
“I guess we played him well enough, huh?”
“I don’t think he was the only one who got played here.” she muttered picking up the pace not wanting to see, hear or think about Damian. All she wished was to go back to how things were before the gala, the photos, the press.
But he didn’t let her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around so she was facing him again.
“Let me go…” she said, but it came out weaker than expected
“I didn’t do it Y/L/N. I didn’t leak the photos.”
“Are you explaining yourself to me now?”
“You wish.”
“Then just let be me!” her voice echoed through the empty corridor and the door to the right creaked slightly. However before the teacher could spot the source of the noice Damian dragged her to the empty classroom putting a hand to her mouth.
“Will you shut up?!”
“Get your dirty hands of me!” she barely stopped herself from biting his hand.
“You are insane.”
“Huh! You think you’re normal with all that snooty, all-mighty behavior? We’re seventeen! We’re teenagers!”
“And that exclude restraints? Look-” he sighed running fingers through his hair. “You’re mad because now the whole school is abuzz with rumors, I get it, but I’m a part of it too. And I’m telling you I didn’t leak those photos! Think rationally – why would I want to be on tongues? Especially given the fact that it was you I kissed.”
The way he said it, like some sort of insult made her heart break. Not because she cared about Damian Wayne, obviously, but because he actually joined talking shit about her.
“I guess we both made a mistake then.” She hissed “we should get back to class.”
“No, wait! I didn’t mean it like that!” Damian muttered looking down, quite ashamed that even after years of leaving the League of Assassins’ and being raised by his father he still couldn’t quite comprehend basic human interactions sometimes.
“Then how?” she looked into his eyes.
And there it was again. The same wave of emotions he felt at the gala when he was holding her to his chest. The same feelings that coursed through his body when he kissed her away from the main event. He couldn’t quite decipher what it was, but that little voice inside his head (that sounded awfully like Grayson’s) was screaming at him to clear this thing out. To not let her go feeling like he just dismissed her, having zero regards towards her.
And it was weird. And right.
Weirdly right.
With heart almost beating out of his chest, feeling the air almost crackle with electricity, breath heavy and mind fogged he leaned slightly forward, not being fully in control of his actions. Forgetting the fact that they were in school and that they were supposed to be enemies. They were hostile for long enough and he was done.
For the first time in his young life he actually wanted someone to like him for him. Not because he was family (even if adopted), a relative of sort or a useful sidekick vigilante.
For the first time he felt the need to be needed as a human being, as a boy. He wanted her to give him that smile she did a few minutes ago when they left the principal’s office. He wanted to see her eyes shine the way they did at the gala, to feel her hug him and hold him as if she was feeling safe with him.
Despite everything.
So he leaned forward.
Slowly, hesitantly, not sure what to expect but ready for everything, gauging her reaction. Giving her time and space to back out, to run away, to call him names – unlike the way he was behaving in his Robin uniform.
She was not a villain.
She was –
Someone important.
And when she met him halfway, he melted.
Grabbing her tighter and letting the whole world disappear, focusing solely on that warmth he lacked through his entire life. Her scent, her hair tickling his face, her hand on his cheek.
So good. So right. So nice.
So terrifying.
Damian Wayne was --
***
--in love.
part 4: New rules
@gabriiiiiiii @6000-fandoms @jinviktor @atadoddinnit @celestair
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yandere-wishes · 2 months
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A thought for you, Diluc meeting his darling when they were knights together when they were younger but when his dad dies and he leaves but only comes back to see his darling is now a high ranking offical and he panics, what if she gets hurt? She isn’t cut out for this sort of thing. So now he is torn, he can’t let her get hurt but it’s not like he can just pull her out of the knights, can he?
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He plays hero in the dark.
Maybe cause the dark obscures beauty and beauty is the last thing he needs right now.
Maybe he's a bit too scared to see too clearly.
Besides everything looks better in the dark.
Diluc doesn't thrive in order, he prefers solitude. The quiet of the estate away from town. The calm of the tavern during closing hours.
The solitude is safe.
Away from fickle lovers and family secrets.
He sees you in the dead of day. Standing outside the tavern with your brigade. Dressed in that loathsome armor with the sun's rays bouncing off the silver metal.
Gleaming.
Bright.
A beacon of hope in every way.
Diluc swallows his anger, his astound. There really shouldn't be room for surprise, it was to be expected. You had trained with him, fought alongside him. Captain is the lowest rank you should have by now
Still, you are not ready for such duty, such burdens.
You must taste experience, bite it, and let the crumbs mar the corners of your lips. You can not simply know by hearing tales of others' endeavors. They are as pointlessly purposeful as the stars. Distant lights you can never understand.
And Diluc refuses to see you as anything more than the little girl who'd drag him to the lake to hunt turtles.
Jejune in every way.
Diluc is not careless, he is not reckless.
The young boy who used to rush headfirst into everything be it battles or turtle hunts, died the same night his father did. The man born of his ashes, is scrupulous, vigilant. He calculates every mistake before attacking.
He lets you see him in the dark. Masked vigilante stalking the streets while you do your patrols. He leads you through the streets, weaving through the nooks and crannies of the cramped port city.
He wonders if this is how the turtles by the lake felt all so many years ago.
"Halt" You're voice holds authority now, no longer airy and melodic. It makes him discomfited.
He leaps past the high walls of the city, disappearing amongst the threes. He sees you cease at the threshold of the bridge. Defeat painted across your tender lips.
The game has ended.
At least for tonight.
He plays hero in the dark.
Dancing as he blocks your attacks.
Metal sings metal as sword and claymore clash.
The nostalgia seeps through no matter how hard he struggles, the familiar hyms of weapons clashing. Your taut frown of concentration. He's drowning in his crush again.
But is such a fickle thing really capable of throttling a man such as he?
Maybe this is truly love?
It's a sparse moment. He's too caught up in you, how tall you've gotten, how astute your stance has become. You've grown. But he still hears your sweet voice ringing across the north winds.
He doesn't notice the hilt of your sword until it's pounded against his skull. Since when have you learned such dirty tricks? His head buzzes on impact, the mask clashing violently on the ground.
The night is still.
But the beating of his heart is far too loud.
"Dily?
You're sword falls, face torn between shock and laughter. "You're the Darknight hero?"
He doesn't answer right away. He lets you laugh and ponder. Lets you come up with your own answers. He's about to interject. Throw some comment about being on opposite sides. But you beat him to the punchline. "Well, I guess I still got to take you in..."
"That's unfortunate, I can't say I'm particularly fond of being arrested by a Favonius knight."
"Captain" You correct and the pride flashing across your face makes him burn in anger. No, no you're not.
You approach him, carless and intrepid. Plucky steps as you reach for the cuffs on your belt. Diluc can't help but roll his eyes. Really? Has being made a captain taught you nothing?
Shouldn't you be more jaded? Wry of any potential threats.
Well, he guesses it must be hard to think of the boy who talks to his pet turtle as a threat.
The blaze from his vision washes over you, painting the night into a faux dawn. The fire melts through your body, peeling the flesh of your arm.
The Darknight hero stands tall amidst the inferno. Eyes aflame with the delicate sight of you.
Diluc licks the embers from his fingers as you cradle your burnt hand.
He didn't mean to do this, but he needs to stun you, he needs you to submit. Gingerly he picks you up, cradling your body close. He can't wait to get you home and burn away that dreaded armor. To dress you in soft silks and precious jewels.
"You're really not cut out for this knight thing. But it's fine I'll keep you safe"
He's only met with soft whimpers as he scales the back walls and dashes towards the winery.
Diluc plays hero in the dark.
And he still believes that.
Even as he opens the door to his mansion.
With you sobbing from pain in his arms.
He is a hero.
And heroes are meant to keep people safe.
Especially helpless little girls who try to play knight.
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aphroditelovesu · 10 months
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Yan!Husband Maegor the Cruel/Yan!Mother-In-Law Visenya Targaryen Headcanons
❝ 🐉 — lady l: Am I obsessed with Visenya Targaryen? Yes I am. Lol, this takes place before he becomes King, except for the ending, so I hope you like it! Forgive me for any mistakes because it's 3 am where I live ❤️.
❝tw: not compatible with canon, mention of death, forced marriage, death, manipulation and usurpation.
❝🐉pairing: yan!maegor the cruel x female!reader and platonic yandere!visenya targaryen.
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Your marriage to Maegor was rushed and you didn't have the chance to refuse or say no. Not when the Dowager Queen was the one who chose you to become her son's wife. You were doomed from the beginning.
Everything happened very quickly, you only remember your parents receiving a letter from the Queen ordering you to come to Pentos immediately. Neither your parents nor you have thought much about it. One mistake and soon you were placed in a ship and shipped off to Pentos without knowing the reason.
It was only after your arrival at the Red Keep that you knew what would happen. Your reason for being there. You would become Maegor Targaryen's wife.
You didn't want to marry him, you knew his reputation well but you no longer had a choice. Not when he had taken an interest in you and the Dowager Queen too.
Everything was done quickly. You were bathed, dressed like a doll and during the night, under several looks of pity and fear, you married Maegor, becoming his first and only wife.
It wasn't that bad, you quickly decided. Maegor was a kind husband to you and tried to make you happy. He let you have your freedoms and do what you wanted, as long as you never left the house in Pentos. Visenya was nothing but sweet to you, your mother-in-law was very affectionate and spent a lot of time by her side. You were grateful for that.
He was a decent and even good husband. You had to deal with his jealous outbursts frequently and his often painful touches, but it wasn't that bad. It wasn't bad when you slept with him or when he killed a guard by ripping out his heart because he looked at you for too long. It wasn't that bad, you told yourself every day.
When everything seemed too much to handle, you turned to Visenya and she always comforted you. Everything was fine, she said. This is his way of loving you, that everything would be fine in the end. Visenya knew how to manipulate you with sweet and poisoned words.
There were times when you loved your husband, times when Maegor was your caring and loving husband. This happened when you were on your period or more sensitive and he was a completely different person. His touches weren't harsh, his kisses were soft and his body was soft. You loved these moments.
He had always been possessive and you knew that the best thing to do was not provoke him. You knew very well what your husband was capable of doing, you still had nightmares of when he forced you to watch the terrible murder of your guard after he accidentally touched you.
When this happened, you would curl up on the bed when he left the room and call for Visenya. The only one capable of understanding, you thought. She smiled as she sat next to you and stroked your hair, always repeating that everything would be okay. Your heart hurt, but you blindly trusted your mother-in-law.
With tenderness, Maegor presented you with splendid jewelry, but your greatest treasure was the time you spent together, away from the judgmental eyes of the everyone. He protected you, not just with his warrior skills, but with kind words and gestures of affection.
You came to love Maegor in your own way. And he loved you dearly in return. Although you were still afraid of him, you learned to like him. You would always fear him, but you could ignore that. Because you knew Visenya would never let him hurt you, especially when you found out about his pregnancy.
It was Visenya who discovered it. She always had an eye on you and when one of your maids came up to her and whispered in her ears that you hadn't bled in two months, she smiled huge and knew it was time. It was finally time for Maegor to ascend the Iron Throne.
Maegor was delighted when he found out about your pregnancy. Now everything was falling into place. You will always fondly remember his reaction. How he knelt in front of you and placed his head against your belly, smiling widely and you could swear there would be tears in his purple eyes.
Now everything could fall into place. Maegor would have a secure succession and together with Visenya Targaryen, he usurped the Iron Throne and became King of the Seven Kingdoms. You were present, watching as Visenya crowned her son with his father's crown and everyone watched in awe as the new King ascended.
You clutched your belly as if you were protecting your baby. Maegor stood up and walked over to you, taking a crown that he had ordered forged for you and placed it under your head, crowning you Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Visenya watched with pride and satisfaction. Everything was coming together.
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alluratron · 1 year
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Thoughts on Gojo Satoru
Gojo Satoru is a character with nuance.
With the release of JJK chapter 236, many people are shocked, confused and outraged at his characterisation at the end of his run in the manga. There are claims of character assassination, of blatant disregard for everything he has done so far, of telling instead of showing. The portrayal of Gojo as someone whose primary motivation was strength has left multitudes of fans reeling.
Nanami states that Gojo’s reason for wielding jujutsu was not his own survival, nor the protection of others, but rather in pursuit of wanton satisfaction. Gojo does not deny this and neither can we. After all, in chapter 233 it was stated by the narrator that as the possibility of defeat crossed Gojo’s mind, an intense feeling of satisfaction bubbled up in him as well. The truth is, Gojo loves jujutsu. He loves his own strength. He loves to use it, to show it off, to flex. He revels in his own power.
Gojo enjoys being The Strongest.
However, he doesn’t enjoy being The Strongest, alone.
The contradiction in Gojo is that, much like Sukuna, he sees himself as More Than. They are beyond humans, beyond curses, beyond anything of this world. They exist in a realm of their own. Make no mistake, Gojo harbours great affection for those around him. He says as much in 236 (みんな大好きさ寂しくはなかった - I really liked everyone and I wasn’t lonely). But he also admits that there was a separation between himself and other other living creatures. This phrasing is crucial. Gojo is effectively admitting here that from his perspective, other humans are as different from him as any other creature of this world. He doesn’t even really consider them to be the same species. This is further reinforced through his analogy of flowers. He states that you can admire a flower and make it bloom, but you don’t wish to be understood by it. Gojo cares for those around him and he cultivated his students to help them blossom, to achieve their potential, but they were flowers to him. They were inferior beings, incapable of understanding his superior existence, and so why should he open himself up to them? Shoko mentally chastises him for this in chapter 220, pointing out that she was right there alongside him even with the loss of Geto, that all his talk of being alone was idiotic because she was there and he could’ve relied on her. But he didn’t because in his mind, Shoko, like everyone else, is inferior and incapable of understanding him. To him, it is pointless to try.
But where Gojo differs significantly from Sukuna, is that Gojo desperately wants to be understood.
Gojo is so painfully human in that way. Perhaps he wouldn’t be, had he never known Geto. But he did know him, and for those 3 years, Gojo knew companionship. He felt understood by Geto because Geto, being equally The Strongest, was capable of understanding Gojo, in Gojo’s own mind. When Geto defected, he called Gojo arrogant in his own strength for saying killing all non-sorcerers would be impossible for Geto and attempting the impossible was pointless, when such a task would not be impossible for Gojo himself. He asks of Gojo, “are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?”. This exchange, unfortunately causes Gojo to misunderstand Geto’s reason for defecting, or at least to oversimplify it. Gojo’s takeaway is that the issue was in Geto’s inability to keep pace with him. This would further solidify his belief that he exists apart from all of humanity. Yet he could not make peace with that. He mourned Geto’s departure and disliked his newfound loneliness (which, mind you, was only the case because of that very belief that only an equal in strength can understand him).
This would drive Gojo to seek out Megumi, something he could have done at any point in the year since Toji’s death but had no motivation to do. The words he says to Megumi are crucial - “強くなってよ。僕に置いていかれないくらい” or “Get strong. Enough to not be left behind by me.” From this, two things are clear. First, that Gojo has no intention of slowing down. Second, that Gojo wants Megumi to be on his level. He’s essentially seeking out another Geto, one that he won’t lose to their own inability to keep up with him. He’s not willing to come down from his superhuman level to connect with the average - as previously said, Gojo revels in his own strength - but rather he wants others to ascend to his level. Gege stated in the fanbook that the reason Gojo went to find Megumi was because he’s seeking talented people, and the reason he helps problem children like Yuta and Yuji is because they’re strong so he doesn’t care about the other details. There is no mention of righteousness or kindness in his actions here. Now, the fanbook is secondary material so I will always err on the side of the main text taking precedence. But since the main text does not give us any explanation from Gojo as to his true reason for saving Yuta and Yuji, and Gege’s explanation in the fanbook on Gojo’s recruit of Megumi aligns with what we see in the manga, it’s likely that his interest in Yuta and Yuji is indeed purely due to their strength potential, at least at first. He does grow fond of them as people, and he wants them to enjoy their youth. But ultimately, his reason for raising them remains that, selfishly, he doesn’t want to be alone at the top.
His idea of “resetting the crappy jujutsu world” is making it so that life as a jujutsu sorcerer is as fun for everyone as it is for him, or at least as he imagines it would be if his youth hadn’t been interrupted by Geto’s spiral. Being a jujutsu sorcerer is Gojo’s job, but he doesn’t resent it at all. Because unlike all the other sorcerers who are here because they have no choice, or because they feel a sense of responsibility to protect the defenceless, or because they fear being killed by curses and using jujutsu as a retired sorcerer is illegal (looking at you, Kusakabe), Gojo is here because jujutsu is fun. He doesn’t feel that inherent drive to protect the defenceless (he actually finds that part of it kind of exhausting) and he doesn’t feel that fear because no curse could remotely threaten him, so he just gets to enjoy jujutsu for what it is. Gojo wants the same for his students. He wants them to enjoy the experience of life as a jujutsu sorcerer, without fear, and without suffering and being forced to question what the hell they’re even doing this for. If they can be as strong as him, there is nothing to worry about - nobody dies, nobody gets left alone, nobody falls behind. It’s an idyllic picture for Gojo.
There seems to be a misconception that 326 suggests that Gojo’s only reason for training the students was to eventually fight them at their best. That is not the case. Gojo’s love of fighting and Gojo’s desire for an equal are two separate things that only got amalgamated in Sukuna. After all, Gojo never sought to fight Geto. We know they scuffled sometimes, but it’s not like Gojo was constantly trying to instigate a death match. His desire for an equal is, on its own, simply a desire to be understood, something he does not believe is possible by a weaker being. He longs for companionship but won’t let himself find it in people he views as inferior. Regardless of having an equal, Gojo still loves his own strength. He loves toying with opponents, and showing off, and brutal violence. The more challenging the opponent/situation, the further he gets to stretch his limbs.
Fighting Sukuna presented Gojo with an opportunity to satisfy both of these things.
Does Gojo have anything against Sukuna or the way he lives his life? Not really. There isn’t an ideological opposition at play here like there is between Yuji and Sukuna, they just happen to be allied with parties who are in conflict. And, with them both being the jujutsu-loving, strength merchants that they are, they’re genuinely excited at the prospect of fighting each other. Gojo does want and plan to save Megumi, sure, but in any case that requires defeating Sukuna. He wasn’t bluffing when he said he’d worry about that later - fighting Sukuna genuinely takes priority, both strategically and selfishly.
In terms of the fight, Gojo has a blast. He gets to go all out like he’s never gone all out before. He’s pushed to invent things on the spot or legitimately just die. He doesn’t even have to toy with his opponent to keep the fight going, he’s sprinting from start to finish and is giddy with it. This is possibly the most fun he’s ever had.
In terms of the emotion, Gojo has been desperately trying to find someone as strong as him because (he believes) only they can understand him. It’s to the point that he has spent the past decade trying to basically build-a-bear some equals. Suddenly, he’s presented with one, fully formed, requiring no additional shaping on his part. It’s believable that he would be excited to take that chance of being understood, being seen wholly, by the only person alive in the world at this moment that he believes capable of wrapping their mind around him, since they’re both so far above every other living being.
And so Gojo fights Sukuna and pours everything he is into it. He pushes his body to its physical limits, he uses every jujutsu ability he’s ever learned, he comes up with new ideas on the spot, he throws out multiple max output attacks. Everything we have ever been told that Gojo is capable of doing gets put on show in this fight. He does all this because he wants Sukuna to see him in his entirety, because nobody else ever has. If he tried to unleash all of this on anybody else, it would kill them before he could even get a quarter of the way through.
See, on the one hand, Gojo’s self imposed isolation is born of his own arrogance but on the other hand, he’s also right in a way; because jujutsu is a part of the makeup of Gojo Satoru - its something he enjoys and it will always be a part of him. Yet he does not fight with allies because in doing so, he would be forced to limit himself. Like Yuta acknowledges in 235, if they were on the battlefield Gojo would have been unable to perform that AoE purple blast without harming them too. He must choose between being alone when doing jujutsu, or restricting himself in this thing that he loves. This feeds into the notion that they can’t understand him - he literally has to contain himself so as not to be too much for them.
He’s not too much for Sukuna, though.
Against Sukuna, Gojo gets to exist in his entirety, unrestrained, and for that he is appreciative. But we also see Gojo’s kindness, or rather empathy. He personally was satisfied by the fight - he was able to be seen wholly. He could simply have a “fuck you, got mine” mentality about it, but we see that he actually feels sorry to Sukuna for not being able to take everything Sukuna is the way Sukuna was for him. Sukuna could not afford to go all out if it meant dying to the other sorcerers as soon as the fight with Gojo ended. I believe this is why he looked less impressive throughout the whole fight - a Gojo giving it his all puts on more of a display than a Sukuna sticking to a pre-determined plan and doing minimal improvisation. But even though Sukuna didn’t let himself go all out, he still won. This would lead Gojo to believe (and it’s not an illogical conclusion) that if Sukuna had been going all out, Gojo wouldn’t be able to take it all. Gojo feels bad about it because he was unable to be for Sukuna what Sukuna was for him, he feels bad that Sukuna will seemingly never experience that same satisfaction (because, of course, if it’s not Gojo himself giving him that, he thinks nobody else can). This isn’t Gojo feeling bad about himself for being weaker, it is genuine empathy for Sukuna because Sukuna is someone that Gojo does actually perceive as the same species as him, not someone he necessarily considers evil or an enemy.
It’s not as bad as he thinks, though, because Sukuna did take immense enjoyment in this fight. It’s true that he wasn’t pushed to the point of having to give everything here, but he was still pushed further than ever before. Many people have confused “he wasn’t going all out” for “he wasn’t even trying” and that’s such a dichotomous way of looking at things - zero or one hundred. Sukuna was absolutely trying in this fight. For the first time in a thousand years, he actually felt the nervousness of possibly losing, because Gojo’s final purple could have killed him. It’s only because it was an AoE attack and not directly aimed at Sukuna that he survived, and visibly in the worst condition of his life. And after slicing Gojo, he praises him (“you were magnificent” is crazy levels of acknowledgment from Sukuna!) and admits that he will never forget him for as long as he lives. This is coming from the guy that called Gojo ordinary and unenlightened just 6 chapters prior. Gojo moved him, this much is undeniable. And Gojo’s smile in his final moment suggests that he heard Sukuna. In the end, he knows that he did reach him in some way.
(Brief side note: Gojo never says he would definitely have lost to Sukuna even without the ten shadows. What he actually says is simply that he’s unsure as to if he would’ve won. And that’s because he, unlike much of the fandom, recognises that Sukuna’s skill and genius understanding of CE and jujutsu mean that without the ten shadows, he would’ve approached the fight very differently, especially those domain clashes, during which it’s clearly stated that Sukuna refrained from using his CT or even domain amplification too much so that the ten shadows could continue adapting in the background. Take out that element and of course Sukuna has more resources freed up to put into fighting Gojo actively.)
So this is the nuance of Gojo’s character. He’s selfish, yet capable of true empathy. He cares deeply, despite his unfathomable arrogance. His motivations are questionable, without being malicious. He sees himself as beyond human, yet at his core is painfully so. He’s not a hero, nor even really a “good” person. But he influenced those around him in ways they will carry forever.
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sokkastyles · 4 months
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Whenever I see antis saying that Zuko was rude or selfish to confront Katara about her anger towards him, I always have to roll my eyes at the attempt to make a big deal out of a conflict that was already solved in canon, and there's a lot to be said about how Zuko is actually the only one to care enough about Katara's emotional state to recognize that she needs help, and that's something the show literally spells out by having the others just sit there confused (even though they were there when Katara told them about how she felt about Zuko and his betrayal in Ba Sing Se, so it's odd that none of them seem to understand what's going on when it's quite obvious to the viewers.)
But another aspect of this is that Katara's behavior is explicitly a cry for help. A lot of her angry and dramatic reactions towards Zuko are extremely over-the-top, not to characterize Katara as unreasonable, but to show that Katara's bitterness towards Zuko is masking the hurt she felt towards him. In "The Western Air Temple," she spells this out to the gaang, telling them that she felt like he was really confused and hurt, and that she felt sorry for him, but then states that he was just pretending to be a real human being. Of course, Katara does not really believe that Zuko is not a real person with feelings, and her confrontation with him later in the episode reveals that her anger at him actually stems from knowing that he's actually all too human. Because she knows now that he's capable of making mistakes, even when his intentions are good.
The fact that Katara chooses to confront Zuko alone at the end of this episode also makes Zuko confronting her at the beginning of "The Southern Raiders" a circular part of their arc. What's that about yin and yang always circling each other?
But what's more, is that Katara continues to have these exaggerated reactions to Zuko, often going out of her way to needle him. This is not the behavior of someone who wants nothing to do with another person. It could be behavior indicative that Katara wants to hurt Zuko because he hurt her, but then you have situations like her asking to hear his tea joke, which she wouldn't do if all she wanted was for him to stay away from Aang.
Then, when Zuko saves Katara from falling rocks at the beginning of "The Southern Raiders," her reaction is immediate and accusatory at him landing on top of her. It's a very obviously romantically coded scene, and a large part of the humor is derived from Katara acting like Zuko is doing it on purpose, which of course he is not. There's no way Katara would really think that, right? So why does she accuse him of it?
I would argue that she did it for the same reason she confronted him alone in "The Western Air Temple," the same reason she makes exaggerated statements about his lack of humanity, the same reason she is constantly needling him.
Katara wants Zuko's attention. She wants him to know how she feels, all the anger, hurt, and betrayal, and thus, all the things she did feel under Ba Sing Se, when she thought it was possible that he was someone she had connected with. And she wants to know if he feels the same way, and is angry if he doesn't, or angry if he does, because that makes the betrayal even worse.
So when Katara makes another needling comment towards Zuko before stalking off, while everyone but Zuko continues to sit and puzzle over what could possibly be wrong, I'm pretty sure that some part of Katara wanted Zuko to follow her, to ask her what was wrong, to care.
The fact that she forgives him at the end of the episode is confirmation of this. Zuko is not admonished by the narrative or told that he should mind his own business, or forced to learn a lesson about how it was selfish of him to ask for forgiveness. The focus is on Zuko trying to figure out what Katara needs, recognizing that she needs something from him, and even being able to admit that he doesn't specifically know how to give it to her but letting her figure it out for herself.
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wonnieluvr · 4 months
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photographs of you
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pairing -> grayson hawthorne x fem!reader
summary -> when avery asks about the photos decorating the foundation grayson is reminded of you... and how he let his family drive you away.
warnings -> angsty :(
a/n -> this is sad im ngl :/
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grayson was reluctant to show avery around the hawthorne foundation. but what could he do when she owned it? besides aunt zara had asked him to and he couldn't disregard her wishes like that because of his own personal feelings.
as he showed her around the building he was reminded of why he tried to avoid these rooms.
"these are beautiful" avery remarked, her hand gently reaching for the photographs that filled the hall.
he paused, surprised. his eyes landed on the one she was reaching for.
his favourite..
-----
"gray?" you were so pretty.
you were smiling, laughing. at him, with him, all for him.
his chest felt tight as he held a camera to his eye, adjusting the lens to capture all your beauty.
that was impossible, he felt himself bite back a smile at the thought.
you had taken him to the beach. it had been your turn to choose the outing. you had almost cancelled the trip because of the weather, trying to convince him you should both stay home. but he hadn't let up.
so here you were, standing on an empty beach in a summer storm. you had laughed as he took picture after picture, shying away from the camera.
eventually, as usual, you stopped caring. you were used to the shutter click now.
you had smiled at him as you took your shoes off, wading out with your clothes pulled up to avoid getting wet. you stood on a rock, reaching your arms out and letting the wind fly through you hair.
you might not have come from a family as well off as he had but he loved you just the same. you never asked him for anything, he never felt like you were taking advantage of him.
you showed him normal, your normal and in return he showed you his.
when did that become a mistake?
family first. that's what the old man had always drilled into them.
but what about when you felt like family? what was he meant to do then? leave you?
"how can you be sure she's not just using you, gray?" skye had raised a skeptical eyebrow at him from her perch on the couch. she held a coffee in one hand, a magazine in the other.
zara hummed from behind him, agreeing. "you don't know what this girl is capable of. you barely know her"
why had he believed them? he had known you well enough to make a proper judgement. he knew you better than anyone.
at least... he had believed so.
he had brought you over that day, his first mistake, because he wanted you to meet his family, his second. he wanted you to be a part of his life. his world practically revolved around you and what you were doing, he wanted you to understand, to know what it was like for him.
his brothers had accepted you easily. of course they had, they understood better than anyone had what you meant to him.
he had never seen you as upset as he had that day. he never had reason to, you made each other happier than he could ever believe. he knew one thing for sure, he wasn't ever going to feel as good as he had with you.
"i thought you were done with her" skye hadn't asked, it was a statement. she had barely offered you a single glance since you had stepped foot into the hawthorne house.
he didn't care much for what his mother had to say, she would never understand love, he had never once seen her truly love anyone. and yet, he couldn't find himself saying anything.
he didn't defend you, he didn't shield you from their concerns. he was used to them. but you weren't.
it had really hurt you when you went down to dinner. the comments made when you entered the room had really rattled you. various implications that you were a gold digger. that you had come to suck the money out of them.
he hadn't even noticed, how stupid could he be?
"gray, darling? we need to have a word about your future soon" skye had been trying to hurt you, trying to get rid of you. "i know a few lovely, respected women you may want to court"
that had been obvious. and yet..
"grayson?" you had asked, eyes filling with tears.
when he said nothing you stepped away, pushing back your chair and standing. you stepped back from him. him.
he was supposed to protect you, keep you safe and love you. he had told you so over and over again, making promises he now knew he would never be able to keep.
he could blame it on how young he was. he could blame it on his grandfather and their stupid family first rule. he could come up with a million excuses. but you weren't worth excuses. you deserved so much better. perhaps, that was why he had let you leave..
"grayson?" when he blinked he realised that it wasn't you standing there but avery. she no longer had your features, your hair, your smile.
he blinked twice more, trying to shake himself back to reality.
"let's continue" he swiftly turned away from her, forcing himself to talk about the foundation instead, what she had come here to do.
but still, he couldn't help how his mind was plagued with thoughts of you.
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k8lynjoy · 4 months
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I genuinely want to know what show the people who say that Aang never respected Katara are watching. "Aang never let Katara feel anything other than what he wanted her to feel" "He idealized her" "He didn't care about her feelings" "He didn't support her the way she supported him". WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FROM??? That's a rhetorical question because I already know what episodes/moments they're using to make those assertions (The Southern Raiders and the kiss in Ember Island Players), and even then, THEY'RE WRONG.
Let's start with TSR. This episode gets so misinterpreted it's not even funny. First off, Aang was never even upset with Katara in this episode, he's just warning her against killing someone??? He never gets mad at her or berates her. He just talks to her with a level head??? He openly acknowledges that he knows and understands how much rage and pain Katara is in, and he never tells her that she shouldn't feel it, he just advises her not to act rashly because of it??? Where is the lack of respect? Where is he ignoring her feelings or getting upset with her for not acting the way he wants her to? He lets her take Appa and even tells her that he understands that this is a journey she needs to take and supports her doing so, he just doesn't want her to kill someone. Honestly Aang shows more respect for Katara by knowing who she is as a person and not enabling her in her revenge than Zuko who is only going on this trip with her so that she'll forgive him, not because he actually cares that she's upset over the death of her mother (and this is not Zuko slander before people take it as such, I love Zuko, but it's not even subtext that his motivations in this episode are selfish and not about Katara).
As for the kiss in EIP, yes, it was not okay. Yes, it was a mistake. Yes, he shouldn't have done it after Katara laid a clear boundary, but he recognizes that immediately. After Katara- rightfully- gets upset with him, he gets upset with himself. We also see that he never repeats that mistake again and is fully okay with letting Katara lead after that. Which is why it's Katara who initiates the final kiss on the balcony. And if you still don't think he learned anything from it, he starts to ask for her consent in the comics before kissing her, showing that he absolutely DID grow from that mistake. So, we're really going to let one moment where a 12-year-old boy made a mistake dictate the entire show and negate everything that came before it??? That's coocoo banana's behavior.
I also think that those assertions are completely baseless because when does Aang idealize Katara? When does he hate her rage? When does he not support her? Is it when he laughed with her after she stole from pirates? Or in that same episode where he constantly reaffirms her skills as a waterbender- first by saying that he's able to pick it up so easily because she's a great teacher and then later when he refers to her as a waterbender which makes her so fucking happy? Is it when he gets so upset that Pakku refuses to teach Katara how to waterbend that he tries to walk away from his own waterbending training? Is it when he goes behind Pakku's back to teach her anyway? Or when he stands by actively cheering her on when she's raging against the patriarchy and fights Pakku? Is it when he calls her Sifu Katara because she expressed that he referred to Toph that way but not her? Is it when he helped her commit ecoterrorism and told her she was a hero for helping the people in that Fire Nation village? Is it when he holds her after she breaks down because she learned how to bloodbend? Is it when he comforts her after Jet's death? Is it... you get the point, don't you?
Aang recognizing Katara as someone who is strong and capable is not him idealizing her. Him not enabling her committing murder is not him hating when she feels rage. Aang actively supports Katara's rage on multiple occasions, he just doesn't enable her when he knows she's acting out of character. If you don't ship Kataang, that's fine, but please don't make up baseless accusations to try and tear them down just because you're mad that a ship that had no basis in canon (potential is not evidence) wasn't canon.
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yannaryartside · 8 months
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Sydney Adamu; Donna's antithesis
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THE BIG PARALLEL: THE QUEEN OF THE KITCHEN
Donna's introduction to the audience is in her kitchen, where she is the leader, the center of the action; all orders come from her, and the dynamic in the family is created primarily by her. She has assigned (indirectly or so) the roles of all the family members that keep the family working in the way it does. She is the queen, the leader—a role she was given by nature.
And what is Sydney's job in the kitchen? The CDC, even when she was a sous, she was already taking the responsibilities of the CDC. She is their queen, their leader in their kitchen—a role she was given by choice.
The writers had given Sydney every opportunity to be Donna so they could show us how much of Donna she is not. Here are my favorite examples of it. 
Donna brings guilt, and Sydney brings grace.
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Donna created her daughter's nickname after a mistake she made as a kid (probably when Nat was nervous and afraid to fail her), messing up a recipe.
Sydney gave grace to Tina when she messed up the recipe for the mashed potatoes. Sydney could have used that opportunity to get back at Tina for making her look bad in front of Carmy and all the other stuff. Sydney decided to be the bigger person; God, Sydney was not trying to make Tina own or like her. She just decided that is not what she is. She acknowledged that Tina was trying something new and wanted to be available in case Tina needed help. Sydney gave Tina clear expectations, recognized the task's difficulty, and offered help. Later, she was graceful when a mistake was made, and gave positive reinforcement when the job was well done. We learned then that Tinas was terribly afraid of being displaced or not good enough. Sydney is giving Tina all the things Donna should have given Nat.
Another exmaple of this is when Richie and Sydney are shopping for caulk. She just buys the right one; she doesn't rub it in his face or call him stupid or careless. In all their conversation, Sydney tried to understand more, not put more fire into the pile. Richie recognizes that, and I think this is when he starts to respect her, even a little.  
Donna brings chaos, Sydney brings order. 
Both women have the role of being the center (heart) of the kitchen. Only Donna can touch the food in her kitchen, while Sydney delegates the kitchen tasks to the restaurant employees.  
Donna gives the absence of self, and Sydney brings purpose. 
To please their mother, try to win her love, or just survive the household dynamics, the Berzatto siblings had to adopt behaviors/personalities that were not natural to them. Mickey was at least 18 when his father left; he took the provider position by helping her mom run the restaurant. He also took care of his siblings. He was his ultimate ally in helping the family feel like a family, particularly by always being capable of "dialing a room" to make everyone feel entertained, appreciated, have fun, and be a family. For all these reasons, he was Donna's favorite, and the other two siblings were neglected because of it. Neither Nat of Carmy felt really like she was there for them; she probably didn't encourage Carmy to draw or Nat in anything. Nat and Carmy grew up believing their talents/nature were useless because they didn't please their mom. Neither of them recognizes the things they are good at outside the kitchen: Nat diminishes her husband's compliments on her hard work, and Carmy ignores compliments on his drawings. 
Sydney, on the other hand, can encourage Marcus to follow his passion for baking. She supports Tina in her culinary journey to the point of her becoming the third person in charge. She asked Nat to be the project manager because, in the few interactions she had with her, she perceived (or it was intuition) Nat's attention to detail, caring nature, and responsibility. In the climax of the second season, she trusts Richie to do the calling of the orders when she has no reason to believe he can, and he solidifies his purpose. Sydney "nurtured" everybody's natural talents and trusted them to walk independently. That is what a good parent or leader does. It is such a brilliant subtext. Important to note she doesn't do that with Carmy, because Carmy is her equal, her partner-to-be.
Other ones:
There is also to mention the fact that Sydney was a professional driver, and Donna tried to crash a car in her own house. Talking about metaphors. 
Also, Sydney doesn't indulge in any of the toxic behaviors that the Berzattos learned from Donna, neither Carmy nor Richie's bullshit nor the rest of the staff. Little by little, she fought fire with water, and she won, maybe because she is more like a river than a drop. She had a purpose on her own, an identity, a past that she kept to herself, and a desire to move forward. People started to respect her the more they relied on her and the more she didn't give in to the toxic traits that were ruling them before. They saw the good and followed it.
Sydney may not rely on toxic dynamics to lead her kitchen, but she will not let others take advantage of her. She did not pick on Carmy's slack last season for him but despite him. She doesn't believe that is what she is supposed to do, not only as her employee but friend and possible romantic interest. She calls the bad behaviors/tendencies by it's name. And communicates she won't have it, while also saying she belives in him.
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I think most of the audience (besides the ones in this fandom) really doesn't understand how extraordinary Sydney is. If she wasn't as well-written as she is, with defects and fears, people would think that she is the "saint woman/magic woman" archetype, making everything previously broken work in her presence. I also think it is because she is a woman, and women are expected to bring magic and be fixers and helpers. There is also the fact that she is a black woman, and everything that comes with that, but I cannot comment on that, so I am not going to. Just saying she is one of the most amazing role models I have seen, decorated with the price of also being one of the most complex female characters on screen. She is not perfect as a person and has not reached her whole potential, and she wants it. I respect and admire her so much. Even when Carmy seems to have a longer path of healing ahead, I want Sydney to win the most, not just heal. I want to know more about her, her intimate desires, and why is her heart broken. Long gone are the days when women lived on screen to make everybody around them better and happier. All the things she is extraordinary for, the ones I talked about, are not just reasons why Carmy had admired her or fallen for her. She is, for me, a champion preparing for live-defining battles. We know who she is, and we get to discover what else she could be, to grow in her self-confidence, her purpose, and what brings pleasure to her soul. She is considered now the show's co-protagonist.
And I hope in s3 we are in for a journey. She made all the difference. Thank you for reading.
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deaddovedecadence · 11 months
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hello ! I hope you’re well I wanted to ask you if are planning to do something about the platonic batfamily ? Thank you for your work, you’re literally my favorite blog 🥰. (sorry if there are spelling mistakes)
Ah thank you for the question i love it so much! What we’re doing today is breaking down each yandere and how they treat you in order
Alfred: very gentle, very caring. He makes you think that he’s on your side only to betray you if you ever try to run away. His loyalty is to the health and well being of the family and if you left it would nasty for all parties involved. He isn’t overly possessive, and is the most likely to let you out and about (so long as you’re with him or another trusted member of the family)
Bruce: At least you were a tool for making up with his son, but he grew to see you as his own child. You’re younger then Dick so he treats you as such, and is very unlikely to let you out of his grip,/let you out of the house because he’s paranoid. He’s the ultimate possessive yandere, wanting to keep you safe in the house at all times. He’s like this with his children too but because they’re fighters/have proven themselves it’s a lot different
Dick: Good luck with this. Dick sees you as someone who deserves childhood, who deserves to be young, so he treats you younger then you actually are. He’s very possessive, and almost doesn’t realize that you’re capable of taking care of yourself and he’s ver y smothering because of that. He’s the type of yandere to be in his own world and not really see. things as they actually are..
Jason: Caretaker to the fucking MAX. He likes. taking care of people and things that he considers his and you are absolutely one of those things to him. He needs to tak3 of things because it makes him feel real, feel. focused again especially when he’s tired of angry. The least likely to ever hurt you but will break you mentally if he has to.
Cass: does not get it, at first. She doesn’t understand why her family wants something that she perceives as helpless as one of them. Cass is all about getting her shit done and you interfere with that. It isn’t until she sees Jason visibly relax around you and stay in the same room as bruce that she understands. You keep things stable which means that you need to stay. She‘ s obsessively, can be cruel and uses physical punishment like forced dancing or sparring to keep you in check if you leave or deny your place in the family.
Tim: Oh good fuck. Tim is pretty close to yandere in canon, he’s terrifying, possessive of what he thinks is his and cruel as hell. with you he’s cruel cold, only to turn gentle when he deems it the right moment. Tim wants to break you because that means that you won’t run away and try to go and be somewhere else (with someone else). Tim is sadiastic and if he and damian are working together it’s best to go and beg jason for sanctuary from them.
Duke: Honeslty you aren’t sure whether he’s like you or like them at first because Duke is so easy doing, listens to your problems so well and makes. you feel like you’r valid for being angry. It’s all true what he says, it’s just that he also is on his family’s side about you and is slowly working his way into your heart in a way that the others can’t because they’ve never been where you (and he) has. Duke is the gentle yandere unless you really manage to make him angry by getting hurt in any way.
Damian: I wish you the best of luck. Damian is the son of thalia and bruce. His ver y nature is to be possessive over anything that he considers his and you are his. You’re his older sibling in a way that Dick is, someone to be trusted, someone to ask questions too, but that does not mean he’ll let you escape. If anything the thought makes him infuriated and he’s likely to blow up. Damian is obsessive, and sadistic, willing to do anything if it means that you’re safe at home with him.
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cinnamonest · 1 month
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thoughts about razor with a spoiled brat darling? she would def complain about it more than other darlings, having to adjust from a lavish lifestyle to living in the woods will be v hard on her, no survival skills whatsoever because she's used to having everything handed to her on a silver platter. i imagine razor having to do everything himself because she squeaks at the sight at even a small bug. also, since wealthy families take highly of their childs virginity cause it's symbol of status or smth like that, imagine how darling feels when he mates with her for the first time. she would be crying and hyperventilating about how he ruined her and that her family will be so angry at her for getting impregnated by a peasant.. meanwhile razor is daydreaming about her cute belly and all the pups they're gonna have <3 
as for how they met.. idk, she probably decided to travel to monstadt and saw him wandering. treated him as a charity case cause she sees him as a poor orphan boy who can't even spell properly. all of those thoughts are thrown out the window when he kidnaps her though, so now she just feel grossed out by him.
Another very amusing trope is the idea of darling playing with fire, completely unaware of just how much danger you're putting yourself in.
You think you're so benevolent, being nice to this weird boy and his struggle to socially adapt, treating him more like a public display of kindness for your own self-image, praise and recognition from others as such a sweet girl, going out of your way to show him some pity.
Completely unaware of just how much of a threat he is, blind to the intense staring, not realizing you're being sized up as a mate. Not understanding that he isn't just some puppy-like, harmless little thing, that he is very much a danger to you and is more than capable of brute forcing you into anything he wants. That he's mistaking your feigned kindness for genuine affection, and taking it as a step of progression of the mating process. That you take for granted the assumption of how normal people work, how normal people have basic respect for the autonomy and will of others, the capacity for forethought, inhibition, and a fear of consequences, because you'll soon realize he has none of those qualities.
You'll certainly be in for a rude awakening when you're confined to the woods with these literal animals, kept as a chew toy of a mate… the absolute despair when you, as per usual when met with any inconvenience, start throwing around threats involving your family’s status and power, or promising money if he lets you go, only to see the blank stare in his eyes and realize that none of that means anything to him. The cold, sinking feeling in your stomach when the realization hits that what is normally an infallible, surefire means to get you out of any bad situation, isn't going to work this time… you'll just have to come to terms with your fate.
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