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gothamstreetcat · 1 year

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Putting under the cut what ended up being such a long sad/angry rant about Wesley and how he was treated on the show. I just want to say how I feel. A lot of this is personal and I apologize.

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days about how it really boils my blood that I feel there was so much pressure for Wesley to be in love with Fred. If he was not "in love" (I really don't even want to say that) with her he had to be a creep and if not that he had to be obsessed (based off of how the show was really portraying him at points). It’s almost as if he had no value unless he was in love with her or his entire being didn’t revolve around her. Like, if he wasn’t the bumbling fool for everyone to make fun off he just had to be so obsessed to the points it made him look bad. Almost as though the writers took his little "crush" from one fucking episode and decided to run a train without the tracks.

It's such a shame because this idea of Wesley being infatuated with Fred came across as though it had to be his whole personality as though Wesley himself couldn't be loved for anything else (like being smart or funny). And the entirety surrounding Fred was also used as a foil for his relationship with Lilah, which in my opinion is so stupid, because this crush with Fred was -again- so fleeting and ended so badly, yet at the same time it consumes Wesley's being.

And I know I’ve said this in the past, but Wesley during Billy was not him; and I really believe it has everything to do with his father and how he was raised and someone he was scared to become. Wesley does not come off to me as the kind of person to feel that was towards women or have monstrous/evil thoughts. Even for "dark" Wesley that's really pushing it. He's just the kind of guy "that makes the tough decisions even if he's making them alone." Not only that but Wesley constantly has moments where you know he's been abused, and for me, I see that as he's not going to be an abuser because he's already the abused, even as an adult. Even when his not-dad showed up he fell back into his old self and was suddenly never good enough. So, going back Billy it just seems hard for me to imagine Wesley ever trying again after the traumatic events that ensued for him - that also had him struggling with himself as a person. Having him be so infatuated with Fred after this - to me - is just so disrespectful to his character, especially if only to hurt him in the end and further isolate him. Wesley is not a perfect person, I know that but some of the shit he went though on the show just seemed over the top.

I don't actually know or personally understand why people even want Wesley and Fred to be together but let me say how I've been feeling that Fred is just a more loved version of Wesley - another thing that really makes me upset/uncomfortable. They were both smart but somehow Fred was smarter (during that episode when those demons came and wanted her brain instead of Wesley's) yet, at the same time everyone needed Wesley's help when he wasn't part of the team anymore. Which, of course there are different ways to smart and should be recognized but at the same time Fred was just seen as so cute and quirky for everything she did while other times Wesley was not appreciated. Anytime Fred became upset or triggered over what happened to her she was comforted and emphasized with. When she was rescued from Pylea she was given space and everyone worked with her and tried to help her. Anytime Wesley talked about his dad he was looked at as strange or talked to in such a casual manor (because the characters were so bluntly blind to his abuse (i.e when he killed his not-dad in season five). Even when he was clearly feeling a certain way after the events in “Lineage” Angel and Spike treated it as if it was no big deal and I get the assumption that when Wesley killed his not-dad it was more about protecting Fred rather then freeing himself (which is what it should have fucking been about. This man literally stood in front of him and said “don’t make me shoot you,” and I wonder how many threats were made on Wesley’s life for him to not be stunned by that.)

I will however say that when Wesley got shot he was well loved and cared for. This was, of course pre-Fred and pre-Conner but was looked after during this time (by this two best friends I might add who ended up fucking losing completely to the mess that is season 3).

Another thing I've gathered from the grapevine is that it appears losing Fred was somehow a breaking point for Wesley (but also everyone else too) and I would really like to fucking understand why. Fred is beloved, I get that but at the same time they also lost Cordelia who was very loved and had some so far as a person - and as for Wesley that man has been through some fucking shit, but why is losing Winifred some make or break for him?? Wesley literally lost his entire family because of what happened, he had his throat cut and was literally fucking dying as some homeless man dragged him into the bushes before stealing his money. He was so cut off from everyone and pretty much had the metaphorical door slammed in his face - unless of course he was needed - and I know I talk about the park scene a lot, and I know fans get mad over what Wesley did they're entitled to feel that way, of course, but at the same time - no one is going to be more mad at Wesley then the self-loathing man himself. He knows he screewed up.

On top of that, Angel, everyone's literal champion, went to the hospital and tried to fucking kill him. And a lot of people point out how Wesley never apologized for what he did, but when Angel apologized for what he did it was literally only because he needed something. And everyone was so wrapped around Angel's dick and what he wanted so nothing could be mended, mind you, this was also the man that signed them off to work for the literal Devil without their consent. Now, I get he was doing it for his son and that's admirable- he's just a tired dad trying to do his very best - but you literally didn't have to drag everyone else with you (especially since the only reason Wesley was there in the first place was to give Lilah peace he believed she deserved for her suffering. Show me a greater act of true love and I'll shut the fuck up.)

Wesley lost his best friend to the higher powers (his friendship with Gunn was so long gone at this point) and the love of his life (because the only time Wesley wasn't so wrapped up in Fred was when he was grieving Lilah) but somehow Fred had to be the be all end all. Even in his death he couldn't escape it and it still had to be about Fred and being lied to and being with her. I see a lot of fans talk about how he was in love with the idea of Fred and being a hero and getting the girl and finally being loved but in reality all those things Wesley thinks heroes get in the end are a fantasy. He's not going to be loved, Angel is not going to get over Conner and his dad is never going to love and respect him as a human being. In fact, I feel like the only thing Wesley had to resemble being a hero was the fact that he died in the end. I mean, of course he was a good person and did his best and he did help people and save them - but at the same time he went through so much shit just to die in the very end and he couldn't even have that to himself.

The Writers liked to put on this face of Wesley being happy when he sees Fred doing her little speech, and it could have easily been about missing his friends and missing people he was close to but we know that's not the case. Not only that, but Wesley went through something so traumatic and you can't always some back from that. He was literally so changed from what happened to him and he was never the same (he literally reminds me of Bruce Wayne in so many ways with the trauma and the turtlenecks and the stone facial expressions; they literally are the same person only Bruce hates guns). Even when he came back into the group or went to work for W&H and everything was erased. Yet somehow Fred just has to be what keeps him connected to something more human... and I really can't understand why when The Writers (I mean, obviously to hurt Wesley because they don't value him) would even want Wesley to be with someone who is so nasty to him.

Fred was understanding when her and Gunn were ransacking Wesley's apartment (which they didn't even clean up by the way) yet, to his face she told him never to come back and also didn't even look at him when she talked about the prophecy being false and everything being a waste of time. Telling Wesley how wrong he was but literally everyone makes mistakes (Angel literally said Conner had been smelling like food and fucking told no one until he had a meltdown). Wesley during that time was just mentally going through it and he didn't think he could tell anyone and did everything he thought he could do - and then for Fred to be upset with him for fucking being with Lilah when he was literally so alone and she was the only one to give him a crumb of human decency. She really only bothered him about the job once and every time they talked you could tell how much they really bounced off one another.

Fred was also the only one who was so mean to him after Lilah's death when he was being vulnerable and trying to open up to her. Now again, this is partly The Writers who think it's okay to compare Wesley's consensual relationship with Lilah to Not-Cordelia sleeping with Conner (which was basically Conner being raped by his unborn woman child using his mother's body), which is disgusting, but also for Fred to fucking roll her eyes and try to gaslight Wesley and his emotions when he's being vulnerable. Again, something I bitch about a lot but it's only because I know what it's like to be that person being vulnerable to their friends, only to have said friends literally roll their eyes and dismiss my feelings - it's disgusting. Wesley had literally just lost Lilah and had no one to talk to about it but he tried *twice* with two people who used to be his closest friends. But I guess that is just more of a way to affirm how Lilah is for Wesley (despite the fact that she is literally perfect for him but I don't know if I want to get into that now).

I feel like Angel never got over Conner (it being mentioned in season five) and that is what it is - I get it, but at the same time I'm also so bothered by the fact that Wesley is always going to have this big terrible thing hung over him. Gunn also made a huge mistake but that was what is was, a mistake and okay because "Gunn is a good person" (and I'm okay with that, I'm in no way trying to shit on Gunn but I am aware there was controversy surround this back when the show was on). However, I have an issue with Wesley having to be so punished for his mistake when others are empathized with. And I know what happened with Holtz was about Angelus and that Angel has a soul and he is good - but this is also the vampire with a soul who tried to fucking suffocate Wesley to death. It doesn't feel fair to entirely blame Angel for Angelus's actions against Holtz's family's, However, that's still a huge part of his past, and not everyone is going to have empathy and compassion for you just because you have a soul. I'm not trying to say that as a way to excuse Wesley's mistake but I feel that so much is always put on Wesley and him alone.

I'm sorry this post is so long and messy. I was going to spend a little bit of time talking about his relationship with Lilah, however, I want this to be more about Wesley as an individual - so I'll shut up here and save that conversation for the tags.

This was four pages long in google docs, why can't I write my fanfiction like that?

#me rambling messily and angry #not sure if I should post this or not #but here we are #i just want to say how i feel. can't seem to do anything else unless i sit with this\#also. off topic but i read this fanfic recently (honestly one of my favs)#and it was written so well character wise as well as writing wise and it was written during season three #i'm going going to go into detail bc it's awful but basically something really terrible happened to wes and in another version of events in #the fic anther wesley had the same terrible thing happen but with different results and in the end he went crazy and had to be reverted to #a child-like state and it was so awful because the wesley in the main universe was treated well but there were times when the characters #were happy to have him because he wasn't crazy and was useful to them. in my opinion (and i could be very wrong) it felt like they only #loved him because this terrible thing happened to him and there were other times everyone was so overbearing it bothered me #again. nothing to do with the writer or the story because they were both written so Perfectly but just in general it was sad to me #wesley should not have to be useful to be loved #but that is me taking this train off the tracks #angel the series #wesley wyndam pryce

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diordeer · 4 months

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౨ৎ HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

“i want you for worse or for better, i would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, i'll put it back together, i would wait for ever and ever” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both star in taylor swift’s ‘how you get the girl’ music video (i accidentally made the bsf so bitchy so have fun with that)

description: we are doing our yearbook quotes… do u guys think “tell me your deepest fantasies: 8-12 hours of uninterrupted sleep” is okay?! or is it cringey bc this is STRESSING me out!!

requested by: anon 🫣

yn.ln just posted on their story

Seen by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others

Direct Messages:

taylorswift: 😘😘

↳ yn.ln: love uuu!

user1: UMMM WHAT IS THIS?!

↳ yn.ln: idk 🤷‍♀️

user2: U AND MISS TAYLOR? GIRL WHAT IS HAPPENING

user3: ugh ur jacket is gorg

iamcharliebushnell: i cant wait!!

↳ yn.ln: im actually like about to combust

bsf: i still think ur lying about this

↳ yn.ln: i cant believe u would think that of me 😢

Liked by selena.gomez, ayoedebiri and others

taylorswift ‘how you get the girl’ (taylor’s version) music video out now!! with my lovely lovely cast yn ln and charlie bushnell 🩵🩵

tagged iamcharliebushnell, yn.ln

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yn.ln this was literally the funnest thing to film everrr!

↳ iamcharliebushnell i miss you!!

↳ yn.ln miss u too 😣😣

user1 GUYS WTH IM GOING CRAZY

selenagomez love u 😘😘 so proud!

user2 THE LONG AWAITED MV

user3 dare i say best music video so far

sabrinacarpenter another release another world record 😍

↳ yn.ln girls unreal

user4 I WANT U FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER

↳ user2 I WOULD WAIT FOR EVER AND EVER!!

user5 CHARLIE AND YN AND TAYLOR?! I CANT.

↳ user6 my 3 fav people 🫣🫣

user7 im in love with director taylor era

gracieabrams aahhhhh!!!

user8 this music video gave my eyes ecstasy

user9 yn and charlie are so cute together 🥺

↳ user10 kinda ship them !!

Likes by gracieabrams, sabrinacarpenter and others

yn.ln i’ll open up the door and say are u insane?!?! (I love you so so much taylor thank you for letting me have anything to do with you, and being a part of this mv!!)

tagged taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell, selenagomez

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taylorswift i love our little gossip sessions

↳ yn.ln im always free for one 📞

↳ user2 what i would do for a gossip sesh with taylor

iamcharliebushnell its been a long six months 😢

↳ yn.ln it has and i must see u NOW

↳ user1 and u were too afraid to tell her what u want!!

user6 the editors having a field day with this one

bsf so u werent lying 🤨

↳ yn.ln i told u i wasnt 😣

↳ bsf ok well now u HAVE to let me meet taylor swift

↳ taylorswift 😉😉

user3 yn in the first pic!! 🩵

user4 and the hottest onscreen couple goes to 🏆

↳ user5 and offscreen!!

↳ user4 are they together?!?!

↳ user5 no… but did u see how they looked at eachover in the vid?? No acting can do that 🙏

user7 well now i need a romcom with these two ASAP

↳ yn.ln I WISH

Liked by walker.scobell, yn.ln and others

iamcharliebushnell thank you so much taylor swift for letting me be apart of this project! and thank you yn for being such a great partner to work with😋

tagged yn.ln, taylorswift

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yn.ln ugh i know we are unstoppable

↳ iamcharliebushnell so unstoppable i might do a backflip on stage

↳ yn.ln I BEG

↳ taylor.lautner 🤸

↳ yn.ln i love you taylor

taylorswift you are so so amazing!

user1 anyone else notice how everyone has posted the usual pics for the instagram posts but charlie is only posting him and yn together (and ofc taylor)

↳ user2 their chemistry a bit too good 🧐

↳ user3 IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I WOULD GO FERAL

leahsavajeffries OMG!

user4 taylor told u how to get the girl… you acted out how you get the girl… now you have to go get the girl!!!!

walker.scobell man gets cast as the villain in MY show and now HE gets the music video with his celeb crush 🙄

[this comment has been deleted]

↳ iamcharliebushnell walker…

↳ yn.ln 👀

dior.n.goodjohn WALKER HAS NO FILTER LMFAOOO

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @highfidelities

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #taylor swift #how you get the girl #instagram

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