#yeah i’m life is strange posting in 2023

[pinkfey]

rachel amber haters were literally like ugh i can’t believe she cheated on chloe with these two grown ass men twice her age, one of which being her violent drug dealer, the other being the guy who literally groomed drugged kidnapped and murdered her….. what a manipulative snake!!!!!

[kanmom51]

Jungkook 28 Feb 2023

*Disclaimer:  this post is written by an opinionated blogger that usually is not afraid to speak her own mind.  I say it now and I also repeat it throughout the post – these are MY opinions, my thoughts.  You can agree or disagree.  Just don’t be an ass about it!!

Cr./ to all the creators of the media used in this post.

28 Feb 2023 started out as a lovely quiet peaceful uneventful day.

Until it was no longer peaceful and uneventful, cause Mr. Chaos himself, a.k.a Jeon Jungkook, decided it’s time to liven things up.

28.2.2023 at 13:31 SKT Jeon Jungkook started a live.

*Anecdote time:

Just for a second here, before I go into the live, I would like to talk about the coincidental numbers playing here.  Yes, we have another coincidence.

From the date:

2+2+2+2=8

8+3=11

8/11

You can also go with:

2+2+2+2+3=11

And the extra 8, bringing you to the same place:

8/11

Oh, and the time: 13:31 – 2 thirteens, mirrored (well the numbers are).

So, yeah, again, one of those strange coincidences that kind of keep happening time and time again with those two.

Moving on to the live itself. 

This time it was on the shorter side, just under 30 minutes, JK letting us know in advance that it probably would be, as he had to leave for work soon. 

And yet, he decided to do the live cause he was bored (and even though he hasn’t washed up yet either, a piece of information he shares with us later on).

J-Hope and JM showed up at the start, in the comments, once again.  JK with his “oh, J-Hope” reaction and his special “JM’s here” one including his unmissable JM smile.

JM's last comment was Hyung is going to a shoot (filming), as in JM is.

And a special prize goes to JK's very special JM smile.

Now, I know there was a whole wave of (add annoying voice effect here): “JK asked JM and Hobi how they are doing” and “JK told them to be well”, followed by, of course: “boo to you, you lose, that means JK hasn’t seen either of them for a long time” and “clearly JK hasn’t seen JM for a while now, heh heh heh, we win”.  If only you could see my rolling eyes at this point.

So, as usual, idiots will be idiots, and of course they twist things up to suit whatever and whichever narrative they want at that moment in time (cause the narratives, they keep changing as well, like constantly). 

I will start by saying that even if that WAS the actual translation or WAS what JK was saying, then: SO WHAT?  In what world can we not ask our significant others how they are or tell them to be well during the day, even if we saw them off to work that very morning?  I mean in the actual living long term relationship world and not in the “we don’t have an idea about what a real relationship is and live in fantasy” world that is.

But you know what?  We didn’t even have to go there, to that real life relationship world.  Because JK, he wasn’t talking to JM and Hobi at that point. 

He was talking to bloody army.  Pity these ‘army’ didn’t realise JK was asking them how they are and to keep well.

So this is how it went down:

JK sees Hobi and JM.  He reacts the way he does (you know, JM smile and all) and then says “it’s nice to see the members”.

Then he moves on to that Japanese word they were commenting about.

And only after that he goes on to say:

“Yeah, everyone, be well.  Are you doing well?” followed by: “I’m growing my hair.  What do you think?”

These 4 short sentences were all connected. The “everyone” is meant for us, the viewers.  I also have to ask, do these idiots think the question about his hair was also meant for Hobi and JM?

Later on, around the 6:54 min. mark he once again asks: “everyone, what are you doing?” was that for JM and hobi as well?? She asked sarcastically…

Before I go on, and because I need to calm down for a second, can someone tell me please….

Is this person real????

Is it actually legal?

Ok, moving on…

JK telling us he doesn’t want to wash up, too lazy, and asks who wants to help him.  Lol, JK, you don’t ask your fans something like that.  I bet that ring at the door was someone coming to help you out… (I don’t believe I’m laughing about that, it was probably a bloody sasaeng…).

But you know, that “I’m too lazy to wash up” did sound a little familiar.

So, let's remember for one second a certain other who stated just that, and a clear solution to it all.

JK explains Bam is in a new training centre, but also that he hasn’t been well.  It seems this is an ongoing issue, well a few issues (stomach, spine, skin).  Poor Bammy, and poor JK too, he does seem really worried (Bam post will come…at some point…I promised and I will deliver).

He talks a little about the new centre and explains that they have camping options on site, and that:

“We’ll gather around all cozy and nice, and drink some beer”.

I’m kind of wondering if this translation is accurate and if it is, then who the “we” is that he is referring to.

JK talks about going out for drinks with friends the night before the live.  He also talks about having a full pork belly delivered and grilling it, so now the whole place smells of meat (me asking: do they not have proper ventilation in the kitchen in such a high end apartment?).

JK says he made himself a hearty meal, but couldn’t finish it off, as his stomach shrunk.

Ahm, yeah, frown.

Editorial:

I, as opposed to those that think JK is great, happy, doing well, don’t think that at all.  I think he is going through something.  Maybe, as a very good friend of mine called it yesterday, a quarter life crisis.  But he’s not ok.  And him calling himself lazy, which he does after saying he doesn’t want to wash up and will someone come help him, and before saying “I don’t want to do anything”,

doesn’t explain it all away.

It doesn’t explain this, for instance, assuming this translation is correct:

Yes, I think Bam’s health is weighing on him.  But I think it’s more than that too.  He told us in the previous lives that he hasn't been working, although he hasn't finished his album yet. There was also a sense of loneliness, talking about how quiet the place is without Bam (read between the lines too). It probably isn't easy for him this new reality, in which he's separated for long periods of time from the person he has been practically connected at the hip to for almost 24/7 almost 365 days a year for 10 years.

That’s my gut feeling.  You can take it or leave it. 

One good thing I did notice and am happy about is that he has put on some weight again.  That last live at the gym, his jaw line, he was unhealthily thin.  Evidently (by him), he’s eating again, so that’s good.

End of editorial.

At this point JK moves on, to the thing that he feels most at ease with, and that’s singing.

He sings “To find you” – a beautiful love song.

A song he says he’s heard recently.  I’d say more than heard once. 

He KNOWS the song. 

And this isn’t the first time he’s singing this song either.  I’d go so far as to say JK knew the lyrics off by heart, well at the very least some of them.  He clearly likes the song. 😊

He starts singing and stopped by the door bell ringing (well, probably not door bell, more like downstairs entrance).- that’s when he doesn’t recognize whoever it was and doesn’t let them in.  He looks at the camera and then comes back to us saying he doesn’t let in someone he doesn’t recognize.  He giggles after saying he should sing a bit quieter, but then he looks back at the monitor (the door monitor), he does that again mid song.  It felt like he wasn’t at ease then, which does makes me think:  sasaeng?

Side note: love the way he just climbs and jumps over the sofa. Not first or last time we'll see him do that in this live, lol.

JK goes back to sing the song.

1st time:

JK sings the song twice, cause the first version felt to him like it wasn’t heavy enough, the backtrack.

Mid 2nd performance he goes, well jumps over the sofa, to fetch another mic, and then continues to serenade us with the 2 mics.

2nd time:

Then he does a Jang Beom June song.  A couple of times, first his version, then imitating him, well trying to in any case, lol.

After those performances JK asks for song recommendations.

And then comes the second bell, and JK talking to whoever that was (from the company probably, because he straight away tells/warns them he’s doing a live).

JK then comes back to explain about a garbage disposal unit that isn’t working (not him causing the damage – but why would that matter if the apartment was his?) and they are coming to take it away.

JK ended the live.  And us mere mortals were sure that’s the end for today.  We got to enjoy our boy.  And when I say boy I mean young man (it’s just enjoy our boy rhymes…shoot me…well actually please don’t, but that’s what you get from someone that has year 4 level poetry). 

JK came to be with us at a normal time of the day, when we are actually still awake (and when I say we I mean me of course), even though he was supposed to be getting ready for work.  I mean, he kept saying on repeat that he was bored and that’s why he started the live, but dude, you have to get washed up, dressed and off to work in no time, so you do a live?  Not that I’m complaining…

But low and behold, Mr. Jeon Jungkook decided that the 28th of Feb 2023 (you remember 8/11, wink wink) is going to be a super dramatic day, and approx. a couple of hours later, Mr. Jeon committed the mortal sin of obliterating his IG account.  Wiping it out.  Deleting it.  Even deleting the app from his phone (his words).

JK came to us a little after that heinous and deliberate act to tell us:

Whoever thinks JK doing this, including letting us know he deleted the app, is not a statement, well idk what to say to that.

Why he did it, only he knows.

Do we take what he said at face value?  We can.  But then, if we think that they tell us everything without embellishment at times or without omitting at times, then that would make us super naïve.

My thoughts?

This is something JK said during the live (again, assuming Weverse translation is correct):

And yes, it was said in the same context of him getting ready, washed up, being lazy.  But it means more than just being annoyed at having to get ready. 

His words:  “annoyed with everything…”

So my thoughts are that just like JK didn’t tell us all the story with the J and M tattoo, the placing, the connection, the meaning, he didn’t tell us the full reason for him deleting his 52 million follower JK branded IG account.

That just like we didn’t take what he told us during the Vminkook live in LA about how he would go to JM’s room 3 times a day because JM’s room was the closest to his, at face value, I don’t think we should with this either. 

And these wouldn’t be the first or last times we’ve been told partial stories/ partial truths, parts of the stories being omitted or maybe even changed to suit our ears (cough hickey cough).

So, I believe this is bigger than just JK being bored with the app.  Also the him being stressed by IG theory is not one I go for, as this was something we were told back in May 2022 when he deleted all his personal posts and turned the IG account into pure business/professional.  Again, back then, in my opinion, not divulging the actual reason for doing so, but it doesn’t take too much to understand what led to it, including the timing of it all.

Just like JM (since around mid 2022) this account was used mostly for promotional purposes only (with a couple of exceptions for JM).  When they had something to promote they posted on IG, otherwise they didn’t.  And he could have continued doing that.  No pressure what so ever. But he decided out of the blue, or not so out of the blue really, to end the game (pun intended -  end game, you know…).

Does it have to do with the invasive video of his posted on IG just a few days earlier?  Does it have to do with the dating rumors circulating?  Does it have to do with his friends/colleagues/and friends of friends being harassed on IG by TKKs and possibly other fans?  Does this have to do with companies following him to get traction and free publicity (cough CK cough)?  Is this some kind of defiant act against the company, a rebellion of sorts?  There could be 1001 reasons why JK did what he did, we will probably never really know why.  But in one sweep of the finger JK deleted a buying force of over 52 million. 

And yes, JK’s brand hasn’t been ruined, it’s not about his brand, it’s about how the company will use that selling power, how they are supposed to reach the audience.  That was one of the biggest reasons the company set up those accounts for the members.  Not out of the good of their hearts.  Not because they wanted to give them a way to stay in touch with the fandom.  MONEY folks.  It’s always about money.  And big money at that.

The IG accounts were there for promotion, for staying in touch with the fandom on a personal level (sells more) now that they were doing their solo acts, but also a lot of money exchanged hands when they opened those accounts (and I'll leave it at that). 

There are those that say “well BH have their own IG account for promotions”, and indeed that’s true.  But be real people.  It lands different when the company is posting and when the idol himself is.  It’s more personal.  It’s the idol himself reaching out to the fans saying “look, this is what I’m up to now, please support me”.  That by itself generates more sales.  But also, the idol posting a pic of himself in a Dior outfit – everyone running to buy Dior.  With no IG account where will said pic be posted?  Weverse?  Twitter? Not every IG follower is an actual fan of BTS.  Many don’t even know what Weverse is. IG at this point has a wider reach than Weverse does.

What I’m saying here is that this action has financial consequences.  And JK knew that.  Stress or no stress, this is something he knew the company would not be happy with.  Because this isn't a decision that affects him alone. It's a decision that affects the company as well. And he did it anyway.

Good for him.

Whatever the reason behind it.

Be it retaliation for his breach of privacy.

Be it a defiant act against the company.

Be it both and more.

Good for him.

I just hope, as impulsive as he is, that he got some form of legal advice prior to doing so, because this could definitely be in breach of contract, something that could have real consequences for him.  This is not going live when told he shouldn’t or without staff present.  This is big.  This involves a lot of money.  This might very well be him breaching a clause of his contract, requiring him to take part in whatever promotional activities the company deems necessary.  And we don’t know what that contract looks like, but I do know that some contracts have set penalties for parties breaching this clause or another. 

All I’m saying here is that it’s not as simple as pressing a delete button. There are complex issues here.

This is an action that can have consequences for JK if this is a step too far as far as they are concerned.

I guess we will wait and see how things work out. 

Will JK keep in touch with us via Weverse?

Will we get more lives from him? And if so, how often? 

Will these lives be from ‘home’, given what he told us in the past about permission from the company?

One thing I’m also curious about is where to now?  Does him deleting IG mean he has no brand deals in the horizon and/or no solo releases planned any time soon?  I'm not going to ask the next question that comes to mind. I think there are quite a few that have thought it already. And I don't think the answers are as cut and dry as some might think. All I'll say is, god I hope not.

I will end this post with my wishes:

I wish for JK to find his way if he is feeling a little lost, be happy, be content.

I wish for all the obstacles that stand in their way as a couple to just fuck off, including effing military service.

And if ms doesn't just disappear, I wish for it to pass as fast as possible and for us to be on the other side of it all. Them and us.

And if I'm already wishing for ms to be over, let's wish to be on the other side of the rainbow and meet them all healthy and happy for Festa 2025 and a comeback.

There are a few other wishes I'll keep to myself, you know, like win the lottery, for one...

I would wish for world peace, and end to racism, bigotry, hate, homophobia, transphobia, and all that crap, but let's be real here, I might be delusional, but not that delusional.

[skits-things]

Jitterbugs

@ironstrangehaven Here's my entry for IronStrange Week 2023 Day 2: Nervous | Orange. Will post on AO3 when the DDOS attack is over. This was betaed by @darkkitty1208. Fic is under the readmore.

Summary:

“Ahaha… Phew. Oh, it’s finally happened. You’ve got your first schoolboy crush, you big baby.”

“I don’t have a crush. There is no crushing here. I’m not nervous, and I didn’t do any of that! As often as you’re saying.”

Tony lunges for his phone and punches in a number he’s long since known by heart. Thankfully, and likely motivated by some sort of conditioning, Rhodey picks up near instantly. “Rhodey. Rhodey, something’s wrong with me.”

“Tones, what’s going on?” Rhodey asks, all cautious alertness. 

“My heartrate’s skyrocketing, I’m sweating and I can’t focus on anything - not even my projects. Rhodey, what good am I if I can’t get into the zone? All I am is my mind Rhodey. I NEED my mind.” Tony paces and runs a hand through his hair. “Something’s seriously wrong if I can’t make shit.”

A pause. “FRIDAY, is Tony dying again?” 

Offended, Tony says, “I’m right here.” 

“Yeah, and you never tell us anything if it has to do with your health. Thus, the big baby monitor protocol.” 

“It’s called the Tony Monitor.”

“That’s what I said.”

Tony scowls, but is cut off from arguing further by FRIDAY saying, “Boss, while exhibiting symptoms of an anxiety attack, is not currently experiencing an attack. After cursory research, it seems to be nervousness.”

Rhodey groans and Tony can practically hear the eyeroll. “Tony, you’re killing me. What are you even nervous about?” 

“I’m not nervous.” Tony denies. “I don’t get nervous. I’ve had nerves of iron my entire life.” 

Rhodey hums in thought. “You know, you might have a point there. I’ve seen you get defensive from trust issues, but I don’t think you’ve ever been nervous-nervous.”

“See!” Tony exclaims, vindicated. 

“FRIDAY, what’s making Tony spazz out?” Rhodey mercilessly kicks Tony back down to Earth. Tony makes a sound of indignation, but FRIDAY, the traitor, proceeds to answer Rhodey’s question. 

“Dr. Strange is due to come by for a meeting regarding maintaining relations between Kamar Taj and the Avengers going forwards.” And then, because he doesn’t get to keep anything to himself apparently, Friday says, “Boss has checked the schedule three times and has shifted things in his workshop twice. He periodically stops working to clean up after himself and has changed five times.” 

Tony doesn’t get to do more than squawk in protest before Rhodey's raucous laughter pours over the phone. Insultingly, it goes on for several minutes. A couple of times, Rhodey pauses as if to say something, only to burst into suppressed giggles that Tony could still hear. 

Tony’s scowl grows deeper. 

“Ahaha… Phew. Oh, it’s finally happened. You’ve got your first schoolboy crush, you big baby.” 

“I don’t have a crush. There is no crushing here. I’m not nervous, and I didn’t do any of that! As often as you’re saying.” 

“Sorry boss.” FRIDAY apologizes, without a speck of actual regret in her tone. “You did, in fact, do all of that.” 

Tony scoffs. He changes the subject. “And what’s with you, Platypus? Even if I did have a crush on Strange, which I don’t, you’ve never approved of anyone I took interest in before.” 

The unimpressed silence stretches for just a fraction of a bit too long. Tony winces. “Because the only people you’ve ever had around were gold-diggers or mindless parrots.” Rhodey says flatly. “Strange is just you, but more on the opposite scale of things. You two balance each other out.” 

Tony only gets to feel touched for an instant. “Besides,” Rhodey continues, “Stephen might be an asshole, but underneath that shell of his, he’s all gooey insides. He’s a pretty fun guy.” 

Tony blinks. He tries to clean out his ears. “I think I have tinnitus. What did you just say?” 

Rhodey laughs mockingly. “We’ve talked every once in a while. He wanted to give me some options I didn’t have before. Did you know the wizards can use magic to move paralyzed limbs?”

A lump instantly forms in his throat. No, Tony didn’t know that. His mind races with the implications. 

“I said no. And don’t you try and talk me out of it.” Rhodey chides without missing a beat. Tony closes his mouth. “What happened, happened. I’ve made my peace with it. Sure, it would be nice to stand on my own two feet, but magic’s not for me.” And both of them know, no matter how much he trusts the ones who wield magic, Tony will never be fully comfortable with it being used around him. 

“You’ll figure something out, Tones. I’ll just wait until you can science me up a solution instead.” 

Tony takes a minute to process that. He clears his throat. “Well. Of course I will.” 

He searches for a way to divert the conversation away from feelings, only to feel like he’s been hit by a clue-by-four. “Wait. What do you mean you’ve been meeting with Strange? And did you call him Stephen?” 

Rhodey chuckles. “We meet once a month to chat. He translates some of the nonsense from my doctor’s appointments. He’s a damn good doctor, too. Remember that crick in my hip? Three different docs could only tell me something was wrong, but Stephen managed to sort me out after I told him about it. It wasn’t my spine, it was my skin - I’m mildly allergic to the muscle relaxant. It’s why the symptoms were only showing recently. Some exposure is fine, but overtime, the effects added up.”

Tony’s face does something. He’s not sure what he’s more conflicted about. That Strange went over his head to talk to Rhodey about using magic or that Rhodey’s apparently been meeting Strange for months - enough to call him Stephen (seriously Tony can’t get over that) - when the asshole knows that Tony’s been trying to get Strange on the team for just as long. 

(Unsuccessfully, but Tony prefers to think of it as a work in progress.)

“And don’t think you’re going to distract me.” Rhodey pauses and if he didn’t have a smirk the size of the Sicilian, Tony would eat his suit. “This isn’t about me and Stephen, this is about Stephen and you.” 

“What, our working relationship as heroes?” Tony tries to deflect. 

“Aha- nice try. It kills me that I can’t be there to watch you fall over yourself right now, but I’ll have to settle for prying your mouth open for the details. When are you going to ask him out?” 

Tony twitches and argues, “I’m not going to ask him out, because I don’t like him. He’s an asshole wizard who refuses to do the smart thing and become an Avenger.” 

Rhodey scoffs. “Pull the other one, it’s got bells on. You haven’t been this much of a mess since that time in Philly where-” 

“Alright, fuck- I thought we agreed to never speak of that again.” Tony cuts him off hastily. 

“You agreed. I hold veto rights.” 

He does, which Tony likes to pretend to forget about. He tongues his teeth in thought. “I dunno Rhodey, I still feel like this is all about something else.” 

Rhodey says something, but it’s covered up by interference. After a moment, his voice comes through loud and clear. “Alright Tones, I’ll let you believe that. But when you get your head out of the ground and take a hint, don’t try and push him away. Stephen likes you a lot or he wouldn’t have stood for having you hound his every step. Just man up and ask the guy out.”

There’s a lot for Tony to unpack in that (Stephen likes him?), but he doesn’t get the chance to think it over. More noise can be heard over the call. “Listen, I’ve got to go- keep me updated alright?”

There’s a tone to his voice that brooks no argument, and Tony knows he’s talking more than just about whatever crush Rhodey thinks Tony has. The soft warm feeling in his chest is more familiar than the way his guts nearly overturned just a few minutes back. “Yeah, yeah. Go do whatever it is you’re needed for.” 

The call ends and Tony’s left feeling better than he had before he talked to Rhodey. His Platypus really does know him best. Even if he HAS to be wrong about Tony liking Strange.  

Just to prove it, Tony pictures the wizard. His lithe, graceful movements. The way he somehow makes robes from ancient history look like some sort of fashion statement. His smug smirk, cheekbones sharp enough to cut diamond, and the ever changing color of his eyes. 

Tony flushes. Fuck. Maybe Rhodey has a point after all. He laughs uneasily, but Rhodey’s words come back to mind. 

Stephen likes him? Well, if Rhodey’s right about Tony, Tony won’t bet on Rhodey being wrong about Stephen, too. Plans start building up in his head. He’s going to charm the pants off the wizard- and hopefully a lot more too. 

Still late posting this, but not as late as last time. Maybe I'll actually post on time at some point!

[majaloveschris]

How on earth does he not know that he couldn't have lived together with her for a year in Atlanta when he was shooting and working somewhere else? She was doing the same in different countries, and he himself wasn't living in Atlanta for a year.//

Hi Maja! I hope you see this and post it.

I completely agree with you and I love how you say this part specifically!

He himself wasn’t even in Atlanta for that long.

At the beginning of 2022 he was traveling ( we know what that was for aka the staged pics and ig dump bs), then he was filming for Ghosted. Afterwards he was likely in MA and LA in between before he began promos/press/interviews and appearances for Light Year and then TGM and then went back to MA. That’s a few months right there. Then he was filming Pain Hustlers- he was in Florida first in August and then he finally went on to ATL in September/October. He had been in ATL from fall 2022 until he finished filming Red One in January February 2023. And I’m sure he went back and forth to MA and NY in between filming for breaks and we even know he went to WDW and VT for two separate holidays and even then he went to MA before going to the other places.

So NO- he was NOT in ATL for a year. He was barely there for 6 months.

And I’m even going to add that she was also busy in 2022 with her projects/filming/going to PT and traveling with her friends.

Chris and her have not been around each-other steadily like a real couple in all of 2022. So the “living in ATL for a year” is BS. Maybe he said it strangely because a lot of how conversation and words are fumbled in that article and he didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Maybe he did say it just how it’s written in the article and it was a way to touch on that timeline- either way it digs a deeper hole because we know it’s not the truth.

Exactly! There is no way they were around each other steadily for a year, let alone lived together in Atlanta.

I think they always try to add to the timeline, to fill some holes, and to make it more believable. I guess it works for those who haven't been as invested as we have. For those who don't care that much about his love life or haven't been following up with the gossip, what he said and the whole timeline they present don't seem bullshit, and for them, it makes sense. Most people don't even think about this; they just accept that they were living in Atlanta together for a year and don't realize it's not possible or won't hit the internet up to search whether it can be true or not.

But yeah, this whole thing is a big mess.

[shyanshippingsociety]

Shyan Shipping Society Fic Promo - February 2023 to April 2023

last post

hey everyone! a long overdue post, but i’m happy to bring you all the fics written in the shyan shipping society from february to april! there’s a lot, so strap in and get ready to read some incredible fic!

february

Haunting Hometowns by ÉcrivainFantôme | E, 45K, complete

“Just keep reading,” she says. Her face is undecipherable, so he continues. As soon as he reaches his band’s name drop in the article, his eyes shoot back up to hers. There’s a certain sparkle in her eye. “You haven’t gotten to the best part yet.”

“Did he – Did he call me Dave Grohl and then immediately shit on my music? I think I have emotional whiplash from this. I have so many questions.”

***

Ryan is the frontman of the popular band ‘Ryan and the Phantoms’.

'Hunters and Gatherers’ is Shane’s one-man indie band from Illinois.

Their paths cross while out on tour.

The key to your heart by tasty_littl_snack | T, 2K, complete

Shane arrives to the office at his usual time but sees that his seat is already taken.

There’s someone there, who is similar to him, who’s wearing identical clothes as him, and looks up from the screen when Shane enters.

What the hell?

Ryan is the one who comes in right after and looks at both of them.

“No.”

“Yes, Ryan. It seems like I’ve been cloned.” Says the one sitting in his chair, and both Shanes’ look at each other.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation by ÉcrivainFantôme | E, 25K, complete

Fr. Ryan Bergara lives a simple life as leader of his parish, involved in his community as an upstanding member. He's a believer through and through. Shane Madej is a recent transplant to his neighborhood, and despite being a skeptic atheist, they strike up an unlikely friendship.

But -

Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? Proverbs 6:28

Stim Boys Drabble Collection by Gilded_Quill | T, 20K, on-going

A collection of one-shots and drabbles based on a list of Autism-Centric Writing Prompts.

Featuring Stimming, Special Interests, Hyperfixations, Meltdowns, and two boys navigating the highs and lows of neurodiversity. Each chapter will be a stand-alone, and their relationship status won’t be consistent throughout. Nor will the timeline be.

March

All the Stars and Planets Aligned by ÉcrivainFantôme | E, 19K, complete

“Do you trust me?” Ryan asks after a moment. “Yeah,” Shane answers, without hesitation. “I mean, of course I do. I have no survival instincts.”

*

Every now and again, all of the planets and the stars feel like they’ve aligned so that certain things can occur. It can make you feel like you've won the lottery. Especially when you have, in Ryan and Shane's case, literally won the lottery.

Hell and High Water by ouijaboy | T, 9K, on-going

“I’m telling you, there’s something evil downstairs.”

“And I’m telling you that there’s something disgustingly holy upstairs,” Shane retorts, “but what else is new? It’s been years, Ryan. I really do think they’ve forgotten about us.”

When Steven Lim moves his restaurant into a strange industrial block, all manner of prophecies and switcheroos start creeping into the forefront. Luckily, Steven’s managed to team up with an angel and demon duo… And they might even be halfway capable at saving the world. (Hopefully without bickering each other to death.)

A Good Omens AU. In progress.

The Call of the Forest by ÉcrivainFantôme | E, 25K, complete

If you’d have asked Shane five years ago what his five-year plan was, he’d have had a very different answer to the one he's living now. Today, Shane starts his first summer as a fire lookout in California. He's miles and miles away from civilization, and the closest person to his lookout tower is a strange man who keeps asking him questions about Bigfoot.

But, like The Rolling Stones say, "You can't always get what you want", but Shane sure hopes he'll get what he needs.

Third time's the charm by tasty_littl_snack | G, 400, complete

They're at the Winchester again and Shane wonders if it's the last time (but knowing Ryan probably not).

The Young and the Hopeless by mccxxvi | E, 54K, complete

He lifted the towel to wipe his small mirror, when he saw it. There was writing on the mirror, a single word wiped into the condensation, written with a finger, a set of tidy, straight letters.

Alexander.

Ryan almost screamed. The ghost wanted Ryan to find his murderer and bring him to the light. Alexander must have been whoever murdered him. Ryan sighed, resigned to be the detective responsible for it.

“Fine, I’ll find this Alexander you want. But I don’t know what to do afterwards,” he said to his empty room.

A 1960s Professor!Shane/PhDstudent!Ryan gothic novel flavored AU fic, because i know a market gap when i see one.

A mystery by tasty_littl_snack | G, 400, complete

You’re looking at Ryan’s face and you know that you love him. You know that you’re ready to spend many more years next to him in empty houses where nothing happens.

Dance With Me, Dancing King by TallNeckClimber27 | E, 11K, complete

I'm kinda faded but I feel alright Thinking about making my move tonight I can't pretend that you're only my friend When you're holding my body tight - Faded - SoulDecision

The Priest and The Gardener by TallNeckClimber27 | M, 48K, complete

A priest and the church gardener are friends. One is devout and the other hates to enter the church. Nightmares and rough weather bring them even closer, but for the priest there's always that line the Church has drawn and the vows he has taken. How far is he willing to go to be happy?

April

What’s all the buzz? by Luxra | NR, 9K, complete

Fresh out of college, Ryan Bergara finds the prospects of working in an office uninspiring. He sets out to find a place for himself and on his way he meets someone, what does Ryan’s life have in store?

courtship for dummies by icantturnthisthingoff | E, 18K, complete

“I have a question to ask, how well do you know Lord Shane Madej?” Steven asks.

Ryan has a think. “Not very well truthfully, we have only really met in passing. Why do you ask?”

“Because he has announced his intention to court you.” Steven reveals.

an a/b/o nobility au that nobody asked for.

6H0ST Air by ÉcrivainFantôme | E, 79K, complete

The year is 1993 and Ryan Bergara runs a semi-popular underground radio show for "6H0ST Air" under the pseudonym 'The Revenant'. Each week, he regales his listeners with unsolved crime stories and supernatural disturbances, asking them for their own theories and stories that they can post on his forum.

Soon, another poster starts populating his forum - a person by the name of $K3PT1C who enjoys poking holes in everyone's theories.

The show will be forever changed when the two decide to team up to discuss and research, using a more... hands-on approach.

I'm the weird you're the wonderful by tasty_littl_snack | G, 500, complete

This show back then felt like something they can do beyond ghost hunting and telling each other stories. Maybe something stable to do in the future, just him showing Ryan the weird of the world (because Ryan himself embodies the wonderful part).

Lighthouse Dreams by TallNeckClimber27 | E, 9K, complete

Shane wants to be Ryan's daddy.

it's all the brain chemicals (something called love) by Cancer | G, 3K, complete

"The ‘I have been living eating your liver’ also does not sit well with Shane. So, he starts asking questions. “Alright, mister liver eater, what do you want with little old me? How can I help you find your way back home?” The creature slithers through the inside of his body, and it’s one of the strangest sensations Shane’s ever experienced. He realizes later that it’s almost like the alien is laughing. «There is no going back home, Shane. We came to stay. You are my home now.» Shane blushes, sue him, it may be the most romantic thing he’s ever heard, nevermind been told."

the venom au that turned out to be more comfort talking about food than anything else. oops.

dust in the wind by idkspookystuff | E, 3K, complete

Shane’s relentlessly horny, and apparently he’s horny for Ryan.

He wasn’t this horny last night, as far as Ryan knows. In fact, he’s never seen Shane like this. What about being in a creepy, dusty park made Ryan suddenly irresistible?

Dusty? Ryan gasps. “The baby making dust!”

or

on a ghost files shoot, shane and ryan get cursed by sex pollen

if you want to read some more fics, you can always check out our ao3 collection! see you soon! ♡

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 29: New York Christmas Serenade (2/4)

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 1868

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 30 31 32

CS Genre: Canon Divergence (missing year between 3a and 3b)

Killian felt an unaccustomed stab of nervousness flow through him as he walked the steps leading toward Swan’s abode.  He knew very little of what was transpiring in Storybrooke, only that the kingdom had once again been transported to the Land Without Magic via a curse and they needed the savior. 

Much was riding on Killian’s success in restoring Emma’s memories, and he felt the weight of the responsibility placed upon his shoulders.  While he’d have traded away the Jolly and done all in his power to find Swan simply for her own sake, the fact that her parents were counting on him spurred him on even more.  It had been centuries since he’d truly belonged anywhere and he had no intention of mucking this up.

Truthfully it was a minor miracle she’d invited him to spend the evening with her and the lad at all, but from what he’d gathered as he’d wandered the streets of this strange place called “New York” Christmas was a time for miracles.

Taking a deep breath, Killian raised his artificial hand and wrapped on her apartment door promptly at 7:00 pm.  He tapped his fingers against his leg as he waited, and then suddenly the door was opened and she stood there and literally took his breath away.  She wore a soft green sweater that brought out her eyes, jeans and brown boots, her hair was pulled back into a soft pony tail.

“You’re stunning, love,” he said in wonder—almost reverence.  His heart rate picked up as he saw her color prettily at the compliment.  If he didn’t know better, he’d swear Emma Swan was flustered by his presence in her home.

“Thanks,” she said, “you look pretty good yourself.”

Killian looked down at his black jeans, his blue button down shirt and his leather jacket, glad he’d thought to find attire more suitable to his environs. 

“Aye, well..” he said, giving her a flirtatious grin, “I have been called dashingly handsome, love.”

She rolled her eyes but laughed softly, breathily.  Killian leaned toward her, drawn to her, wishing nothing more than to repeat their mind-blowing kiss on Neverland.  For a moment, Emma leaned forward, lifted her head.  Was she actually going to allow him to kiss her?

“Hey guys, are you coming in soon?” came Henry’s voice from the kitchen, “I’m starving.”

And with that the spell was over.  Emma took a healthy step back, held onto the door and waved him in.  “Yeah, um…” she said, “come in.  Dinner’s ready.”

Killian obliged, shedding his jacket and placing it on the rack beside the door.  He looked around in interest, admiring the large, open feel of the apartment, impressed with the large, well decorated pine tree in the corner near the windows, enjoying the delectable aromas wafting in from the kitchen.

“It smells tasty, love,” Killian said, taking the seat Henry indicated at the head of the table.  “Did you prepare our meal yourself.”

Henry laughed.  “Mom doesn’t cook; especially on Christmas!  Of any day of the year, we ought to at least have edible food on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.”

“Excuse me?” Emma said feigning great offense.  “You better watch yourself, Kid.  Santa’s still watching.  Don’t want to get on the naughty list.”

Henry grinned.  “Hey, I’m only telling the truth.  I’d say being honest ought to keep me on the nice list.  But seriously, Killian, we had our dinner catered from this little Italian place down the street.  They have the best spaghetti and meatballs you’ve ever eaten!”

Killian smiled at the playful ribbing between mother and son.  Though he knew his Swan would wish to have her memories and know the truth, he was grateful to the Queen for giving her and the lad such pleasant memories and such a close relationship in their false life.

“I’ve no doubt but that you’re right, Henry,” Killian said, taking the bowl of long, thin pasta Swan passed him. He placed a healthy serving on his place, and then topped it with the red sauce placed before him on the table.  “As it happens, this is the first time I’ve ever consumed this particular dish.”

Both Swan and her lad stopped what they were doing and shot him astonished looks.  “You’ve never eaten spaghetti and meatballs before?” Henry asked.

“Not even once.”

“Well are you in for a Christmas treat!” Henry assured him as he began to eat with typical preteen gusto.

And as Killian ate his meal of spaghetti and meatballs, salad and garlic bread, he had to admit the lad was correct—although whether it was the deliciousness of the food or the pleasantness of the company he enjoyed most was a matter for some debate.  As the evening continued, Swan lost the last hint of her nervous awkwardness and began talking and laughing with him—far more open than she’d ever before been in his presence.

After dinner, Killian followed the lad into the living room to choose a movie for the evening, after which came a ritual that left Henry nearly writhing in excitement.

“We open most of our gifts on Christmas morning,” Emma told Killian as Henry rushed toward the tree, carefully picking up each of the brightly wrapped packages which bore his name, shaking them, looking them over, weighing them in his hands, “but a few years ago, the kid talked me into starting a Swan family tradition of him getting one of his presents on Christmas Eve.  Choose carefully, kid.”

And suddenly, with the mention of gifts for the occasion of Christmas, Killian came up with a plan.  What if he was able to jog the lad’s memories?  With Henry on his side, perhaps the two of them could find a way to remind Emma who she truly was.

Killian grinned as Henry opened his chosen gift.  The lad’s enthusiasm and exuberance were contagious.

“The video game I wanted!” Henry said as soon as the bright, colorful paper was ripped away.  “Thanks mom!  This is great!”

Emma ruffled his hair.  “No problem kid,” she said.  “And just you wait.  You may be an expert at the other games, but I’m determined I’m going to beat you at this one!”

“Sounds like a challenge to me, lad,” Killian said teasingly, reaching over to playfully squeeze Swan’s shoulder from her perch beside him on the couch.  “Are you going to let it go unanswered?”

“No way!” Henry said.  “You’ll see, mom!  You may be good catching real bad guys, but I’ve got the video bad guys quaking in their boots!  Can I play it now?  Please?”

Before Emma could answer, Killian put a up his artificial hand.  “Just a moment, lad,” he said.  “If you please, I have my own gifts to bestow.”

“Killian,” Emma said, looking over at him, “you didn’t need to…”

“Nonsense, love,” he answered.  “You were so kind as to allow me to share your holiday.  The least I can do is offer a few small tokens of my gratitude.”

“Seriously, we don’t expect…” Emma began again, but this time she was interrupted by her son.

“Did you bring me something?” he asked Killian, stepping up to him.

“Indeed I did, lad,” Killian said, reaching for his satchel.  “If I don’t miss my guess, you have the heart of a true believer.  The truest believer, even.  I thought perhaps you might find joy in perusing the stories of other heroes and believers.”

With a flourish, Killian pulled Henry’s old storybook from his bag and presented it to the boy.  It was this book that had ignited Henry’s belief the first time.  Was it possible the item would do the trick for a second time?

Henry accepted the offering, muttering a quick “Thank you,” before peering in confusion at the tome.

“A storybook?” Henry asked, brow furrowed.

“Aye,” Killian said, “a storybook, but I hope you’ll find it so very much more.  Go on lad, open it.”

Killian watched eagerly as Henry opened the book to the story of his grandparents.  He hadn’t long to wait.  Henry couldn’t have read more than a paragraph before his eyes got wide as saucers and he quickly looked up at Killian.

“Hook!” he said slowly.  “I…I remember!”

Waves of relief covered Killian like a blanket.  He may still have quite the uphill task in front of him, but for the first time since finding his beloved Swan in her apartment home, Killian knew without a doubt that he would.

–Up next: Emma wakes up on Christmas morning—and ends up spending a very pleasant full day with both her son and the pirate she doesn’t yet remember she had feelings for.

NEXT CHAPTER->

[iwannawritelots]

Heartbeat: Squish

Originally written April-May 2023

AO3 - I usually post here first!

Part 2

Human AU Masterlist

Characters Active: Solomon (14), Asmodeus (14)

Trigger/content warnings: none

Headcanons/notes from the author: I love writing about these dorks… -3-

Brief Blurb: Solomon meets Asmodeus for the first time in high school.

Taglist (feel free to ask to be added): @graveswrites

Solomon stared off into nothing, not knowing how approach anyone. He was often written off as the strange kid, and it seemed like high school wouldn’t change that very much. Everyone else knew each other already. He snapped his attention to the door when it loudly opened, and the thought he instantly had upon seeing the person coming through would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Damn, they’re tall as fuck.

He watched them sit down, not really realizing the entire time. Their backpack was bedazzled with jewels and pins. The skirt and high heels they wore complimented each other well. When the teacher called for attention, Solomon’s face flushed bright red. He finally registered that he had indeed been staring — at someone he didn’t even know! — for at least five minutes.

The teacher welcomed everyone and began to have students stand one by one to introduce themselves. When she began to call out last names starting with “M”, the tall person Solomon had stared at stood up. “I’m Asmodeus Morningstar.” They took a deep breath, smiled, then continued, “My pronouns are they/them today. I moved here with my siblings about five summers ago…” Asmodeus curled their hair around their finger, then uncurled it. “If I were an animal, I would be a bunny.”

Without another word, they sat down. Of all animals, a bunny? Solomon stared at his hands. What kind of animal was everyone else saying? Wait, what was he going to say?

Wait! They said they/them pronouns!

Solomon fumbled with his hands. He never wanted to be friends with someone so badly in his life. Another trans person, and someone who dressed so cool, and shared an interest with him!

Once introductions were over, the teacher told them to partner up. Solomon scrambled to Asmodeus. “Hi, Asmodeus.”

They flashed their beautiful grin at him. “Hello Solomon.” They hummed and inspected their nails for a moment. “Are you wanting to be partners?”

“Ah, yes.” Solomon nodded and grinned. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“I see no issue with it.” Asmodeus took the paper the teacher was passing out when she walked by. “We’re supposed to ask each other the questions on this list, it looks like.” They frowned at the bottom of the paper. “Some of these are going to show the ugly side of me.”

Solomon brought his hand to his chin. Having heard this, his anxiety simmered down a bit. “Oh? Whatever could be the ugly side of you?”

“Well… ‘something that bothers you’ is one of them.” Asmodeus gazed at Solomon for a moment, then set the paper down on their lap. “I suppose we’ll start with that one.”

“Okay.” Solomon raised an eyebrow. “What’s something that bothers you, then?”

Humming for a moment, Asmodeus stared off. “I guess… sand.”

Solomon snorted. “Sand?”

“Yeah. It’s coarse, and rough, and it gets everywhere.”

A fit of giggles erupted from Solomon, and he quickly covered his mouth in attempt to muffle it. “D-Did you just… reference Star Wars?”

“You have a Yoda keychain on your backpack. I thought you’d appreciate it.” Asmodeus bit their lip to stifle an obnoxious laugh, but it didn’t cover up the way they were beaming. “Plus… sand actually does all of those things and I hate it. Anakin has a point, y’know?”

Solomon nodded, unable to stop giggling. Maybe they wanted to be friends, too…

reblog divider story divider

[a-earthssprout]

🥀🍯 OOC. a message that’s a tad more thoughtful than a quick update, since I really do have a lot of things to say … I do apologize, however, if this post is rather … messy 😭 my brain feels square rn, but it also wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t share a bit of what’s in my heart—so, I’ll do my best with what I have ! 😊

for many reasons—some more obvious, others more personal—the 2020s have been quite a ride so far. personally, 2022 has been a real struggle for me; I’ve braved some things that I was not yet ready for & it really felt like the year where my life was adjusted in such a permanent way—change is exciting, but admittedly I’m not always comfortable with it … I much prefer consistency 😔

that among other things has made my early 20s a very strange ride so far—it has been difficult, it has been trying, it has been taxing, & sometimes, it has even been a little scary, I must admit … but I’ve had so many blessings by my side that have all been such a comfort to me on this wild trip. this blog—& the company kept on it, especially—is a MAJOR one indeed; the fact that I have a place to turn to, where I can forget about everything that overwhelms me & have a bit of fun, plot some cute things, & admire all you talented writers on my dash … 🥺🌼 I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel that I truly cannot say it enough. I am so grateful for this place & the warmth it brings me, the joy it fills me with, & the opportunity it allows me ! 🌷

but this place would also not be so wonderful if it was without—again—the company that I have here. my closest, dearest friends, whom I am overwhelmingly thankful for, & pals of different but equal value, who make this place the source of sunshine that I feel it is. when light seems so distant in other places, I feel as if it is never quite as far out of reach here. it is so friendly here—so gentle, so kind—& I only hope to give a similar feeling to all of you, too. if you are reading this, do not doubt for a second that I do not mean you—each & every one of you has made me smile before. I can guarantee that. & there are no words that I could use to express just how precious that is to me … truly, it is so 🌼

to those who are closest to me … thank you for being my family. yes, you are my family, & you will always mean the world to me. while I do not want to tag anyone directly as to not accidentally make any feel left out or forgotten, I do hope you know who you are when you read this 😊🌿

with roleplaying matters … the amount of support & love that I receive on here is overwhelming, & that is yet another thing I am so thankful for—to each & every one of you, I appreciate all your interest, all your encouragement, all your excitement—every precious thing you have given to me ... I appreciate it all so very, very much 🌻 please know that you have my support, too—I hope do to a better job showing this in the new year! 🙏

I hope for many things in the year to come—improvement in some areas, growth in others, & healing in parts that are necessary. change is scary … it may never be something I’m ever totally comfortable with, but … being able to go it with company like you all by my side ? yeah. that is definitely my strength 🤗✨

I wish you all a healthy, happy, & rewarding New Year—whether you believe it or not, you are deserving of good things, & I hope that mentality thrives for everyone in this new chapter 🌼 may we write many sweet things together & become closer in 2023 ! here's to all the writing adventures awaiting us ! I lava you all with all my heart, & again … thank you so much. for everything! 🥀

“ I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. ”

[frankbelloriley]

2022

The year started with promise and then two weeks later I got a call of my uncle’s suicide, so that of course detracted some things. (God, I know you and I haven’t been on much speaking terms since my teenage years, but I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for my mom who has stuck with you through it all: be nice to her in the upcoming year.) A lot of it was spent waiting for a memorial that still hasn’t come. Might be on what would’ve been his upcoming birthday in April after delay it from the one year anniversary. In a weird way, it’s very fitting for a man who, in his last months of life, decided he wanted to show up to my cousin’s wedding three days before the event itself to make it a surprise. However, the man did instill three loves in me which continue to this day: dark beer, prog rock, and the most awful, dogshit bilingual puns.

To say it was a strange year even aside from that would be an understatement. I routinely confuse things that happened last year with this year or vice versa or sometimes things from 2020 get in the mix, and sometimes 2020 feels like a decade ago. Moving three times in two years will do that.

I did my best writing this year. I also did my best therapy this year. I feel like those have to go hand in hand. I’ve tried to do “writing as therapy” and while writing is therapeutic for me, when I do it as my therapy...I’m not sure it works. It’s not that I don’t see the worth in it, but that should be reserved for myself, and I don’t think it adds to what I write. My writing is always going to be some of a reflection of my psyche anyway, so why force it?

Therapy has been about getting rid of old ghosts and the emotions attached to them. Grief brings about a lot of old hidden things, and that was true for me. Some in expected ways, and others in long dormant ones. The good thing about being in therapy this long (or in my case, starting it back up in the pandemic) is sometimes an episode happens, and for a brief second I’ll think, “therapy didn’t help,” and almost immediately another voice will come in and say, “no, you know what’s happening now and you also remember what it was like when this happened before therapy.” It’s nice to remind myself of these...reminders. It’s been helpful to understand the ghosts are a reflection of a conversation I need to have with myself. I’m getting better at asking myself what I need. 

A fun thing about this is that this is the second draft of this post. I don’t know how long I’ve kept up these end of year blogs. Gotta be up there, right? I feel like I’ve been doing them since 2014, and...Jesus. Anyway, I wanted to say that I finished the first draft, looked it over, and was like, “yeah, I don’t want anyone else to see this except me,” but I’m glad about that draft, and I’m going to end this post and that draft the same way. 

I go into 2023 with a truly open heart for the first time in a very long time.

[rustedskyprisms]

So my sister is a heroin addict, and, overall, her opinion, at this point, on “hard drugs” (I’m not here to debate or get into what exactly that means) is pretty negative. But she did say something the other day that I don’t think I have ever heard her do, and, it actually made me, in a very strange way, glad; she acknowledged how pleasant heroin felt. Let me explain why that made me glad.

So much of the narrative around addiction is just, this is how this ruined my life, this is how I hurt everyone, this is how I got into legal trouble, etc. It’s very rarely acknowledged that at some point, yeah, it wasn’t a completely negative thing. And the reason this made me glad is absolutely not from a “pro-drug” place; it made me glad because she was honest. If you get addicted to something, I think it’s fair to say, 98% of the time, you enjoyed it at some point. But you’re not really allowed to acknowledge that, socially. But it really got me thinking about the ideas around addiction, and I’d say the two most popular ones are either, “it’s all a choice/everything that happens to you is your fault”, or “it’s all due to things you can’t control/you did nothing wrong/you’re a victim of your circumstances/etc” and I think both of those are incorrect.

And she’s never really opened up to me about the actual emotional stuff, beyond just “it’s bad/etc” and I’m just really glad she did that. And I know there’d be people, if they heard what she said, who would accuse her of glamorizing/romanticizing/promoting/whatever the fuck people want to accuse you of, but that’s not what it is. She was just being extremely honest about her experience with it. But if you acknowledge that, it’s this horrible thing to a lot of people. Hell, I’d probably get accused of the same thing for saying this. Really, the only point I have is that drugs are complicated, addiction is complicated, and the way people who have done, or experienced, those things, feel about them can be very complicated.

It’s annoying though, because I left out something that I originally typed out that she said, because I don’t want to deal with people misinterpreting this, because that’s exactly what they’ll do. You really cannot be honest about drugs, unless it’s weed or something else that is accepted by the general mainstream (so…weed and alcohol, to an extent certain hallucinogens (but yeah the reputation of those is a whole other discussion and I barely even feel right including that, but it’s accurate in 2023)) without people accusing you of romanticizing them. Obviously that depends on who/where you are and other factors like that, but broadly speaking it’s true.

All I know is, I completely appreciate her honesty and for some reason it really affected me. It might be because she and I are rarely vulnerable with each other. If I didn’t feel like such an idiot doing so and it wasn’t such a loaded subject for her, I’d tell her some of what’s gone on this year but yeah. It’s absolutely nothing like what she’s been through but it’d be nice to be able to open up.

I’m seeing a shift in the way she talks about this subject though, and I’m not sure why, or what is going on there. But that’s exactly what I mean about how your relationship with this stuff can be complicated-even if you’re not actively using it. Once you get clean you’re expected to do the “it’s evil, it’s the devil, it’s this, it’s that”, and I think that’s weird, to expect everyone to have that mentality and at all times.

I am not going to get into the negatives caused by addiction or anything like that in this post. And that’s the other thing that annoys me-I can just hear people, in my head, screaming about that. And I’m not “making up a guy to get mad at” in this situation because that’s really how it can be. Because yeah obviously it causes/makes a lot of bad shit worse, but that is not the point of this post.

[swxppedshitposts]

Louise, painting the kitchen ceiling black: (humming softly)

Alex, walking into the kitchen: ..................What are you doing?

Louise, casually: Painting the ceiling.

Alex: ...................Why?

Louise: Because I think it would look better black!

Alex: ........And did you think that perhaps you might ask first?

Louise, looking down at him from the ladder: ......You told me to make myself at home!

Alex: I meant by not being afraid to explore, or to eat the food inside the fridge. Not by redecorating my fucking kitchen.

Louise: Hmm...must’ve got confused! (continues to paint)

Alex: ........You're doing this on purpose. Aren’t you??

Louise: :) (finishes painting) There! Finished! Isn’t that a better look? (she climbs down from the ladder)

Alex: Than the mural that took the artist six months to finish and which cost thousands of pounds? Not really, no.

Louise: Oh! By the way. The postman came this morning. This came for you. (she hands him an open letter)

Alex: ...You opened my post?

Louise: Yeah. (she sits on the kitchen counter and swings her legs) Somebody is VERY unhappy with you, Alexsander!

Alex: Get off of there! And STOP OPENING MY LETTERS!!! Let’s see what it is you’re bloody going on about, shall we? (he opens the letter) ...This just says “FUCK YOU” in cursive.

Louise: I know! Very strange!! Any idea who might’ve sent it?

Alex: Louise, dear, when you’ve lived as long as I have and you’ve built twice as many grudges, it could be pracitcally anybody.

Louise: Do you think it’s an omen? Are you concerned?

Alex: I’m always concerned but it’s usually just my default. About the letter, not particularly. I receive death threats on the weekly, I'm quite certain a handwritten “fuck you“ will not be my downfall.

Louise: Can I have another look at it? Maybe I can decipher some clues!

Alex: Who the Hell do you think you are? Sherlock Holmes?

Louise: Ugh!! You never let me do anything around here!

Alex: Says the woman who just painted my entire ceiling black on a whim...

Louise: I want to go out!! Why do I have to stay inside while you’re working?!

Alex: Because, Louise, you still have great trouble understanding the concept of debit cards, let alone trying to navigate your way around 2023 London on your own. You very nearly fainted the other day because you saw a woman wearing a miniskirt at the park!

Louise: SHE WASN’T EVEN WEARING BLOOMERS!!!!! I’VE NEVER BEEN SUBJECTED TO PUBLIC IMMODESTY LIKE THAT BEFORE!! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK?!

Alex: My point is, you need accompaniment in order to avoid getting yourself sectioned, Louise. You went like a madwoman when Caroline showed you how to place an order at the self-order kiosk at McDonald’s. She then had to phone me from the loo to come and sort you out because you were having a fit!

Louise: I mean, it was rather ludicrous to expect that big, clunky machine to be able to convey my order to the workers inside the kitchen...but then it WORKED!! And it was fantastic...I must admit I was rather moved. (wipes a tear)

Alex: Really? We couldn’t tell by the way you left the restaurant - I use that word lightly - sobbing and wailing with unspeakable joy because ‘technology is modern sorcery’.

Louise: I’ve never been so impressed in my life!!!!!

Alex: You said the same thing about Jurassic Park.

Louise: But Alexsander, I’ve counted all the doorknobs twice and I’m afraid I’m running out of things to keep myself entertained all day!

Alex: For goodness sake, Louise, read a book !!!

Louise: I CAN’T!!!!!

Alex: WHY NOT?!?!?!?!

Louise: I tried to read one of Caroline’s books from her unread collection but they’re all about things of which I’ve no understanding. I mean, seriously?! WHAT in the world is a ‘Windows Vista’?!

Alex: It’s an operating system fo- oh.

Louise: YOU SEE?! Also, I pressed a button on the television remote last night and it started screaming at me so I panicked and I put it in the pond. 

Alex: ......................................You ripped my TV off of the wall and threw it into the pond because it made a noise? Louise, I understand that you’re having a troublesome time adjusting to this era, but you really are GETTING ON MY BLOODY NERVES!!!!!!!!!!

Louise: DON’T SHOUT AT ME, IT’S NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!! I WAS ALONE AND CONFUSED...MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T LEAVE ME ON MY OWN ALL DAY THEN THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED..!

Alex: Oh, I do so apologise for having a career!

Louise: WHICH YOU LIE TO MAINTAIN!!! I mean, seriously...you actually managed to convince the entire nation that you’re not a monster?

Alex: What do you think you’ve been doing this entire time? You don’t go out looking like that and get captured by the fucking hunters. Why do you think that is, Louise? It’s because you’re with me. People think we’re artists. That all this (he gestures to her undead body) is just an elaborate costume to enhance your persona. Soon, you’ll have people taking photographs, and then when you’re forced to explain, you’ll tell them exactly what I’ve been telling people for years. You wouldn’t have gotten away with this back in the day. You would’ve been hunted, like I was. People would’ve been immediately suspicious of you. But now? People think it’s cool and quirky to look like this. They just don’t know that it’s real and I intend to keep it that way. For both our sakes.

Louise: >:C Well, I don’t want to be an actress! I want to be me!

Alex: If it were that easy, then so would I. But it isn’t. So, suck it up.

Louise: ...83.

Alex: Excuse me?

Louise: There are 83 doorknobs in your house.

Alex: Thank you, Louise. I’ll be sure to put that information to good use in the future.

[rantsbyrei]

Quick Life Update

June 4, 2023

G3 N15 - Rosalia

Damn, it’s been a while. Hey, just a little small life update since the last time I posted, which was like maybe eight/nine months ago. Damn frr...  So, I just finished my third year of college this past May, but let’s do a quick run through from where I left off in like August? September? So, I started my third year of college last fall. That was super cool, Honestly, best year so far. It was like I was finally living in a post pandemic world for real meaning I finally got somewhat of a normal college experience. I made new friends and got closer with some of the ones I had made in the past two years. I started talking my musicianship a lot more seriously. Which, I’m not sure if I’ve said on here yet, but I’m going to school for music. (BM in Voice) I got to take part in some newer experiences and got more comfortable on the stage. I got to be a part of my first opera production and had some opera scene classes, which was really fun. However, I didn’t pass my upper divisional, which at my school is a performance in front of the entire music faculty and they tell you if it was good or not, so that wasn’t fun. It was a very depressing week or so after finding out that news, so I think I’ll right about it maybe soon. I also had my first recital. That was really fun and exciting, but also anxiety inducing because I didn’t want it to be bad, which I don’t think it was. Overall, this school year went rather well despite some low points. Other things that have happened since my break: I’ve gone to a few concerts. I got to see Harry Styles back in October which was really fun. It was my first time seeing him and I was really excited. I looked really cute and had so much fun. I also saw Waterparks in May with my sister and Kali Uchis the week after with my cousin. Both really great concerts. I’ll try to make posts for those later with the videos and pics I got. On a separate note, I’ve gotten back into reading recently. I finished American Gods and After Dark recently and I started The Woman Destroyed not too long ago and I’m having so much fun finally enjoying reading again for the first time in a while. Some other stuff probably happened that I’m forgetting, but yeah. That’s been my life over the past months. I’ve been really happy which has felt strange, but good so yeah. Till next time, I guess. Also happy pride month! <3

[madillhethen]

After a long while, I finished Heaven’s Feel.

I have soooo many screenshots I need to organize. I don’t think I’ll post them all because I think I’ve said some things I already wanted to say but the ones I feel are important I’ll post.

It’s just, I don’t know, I have so many feelings. This definitely went from bottom last after Apocrypha from the movies to probably on par with Zero, if not above it (UBW and Zero were my top two Fates). I still have some issues with it personally, but that ending, the full circle, just seeing them all happy together really made the pain of that route worth it mostly.

It tied up everything so nicely. I feel like the epilogue in Heaven’s Feel was really great compared to the epilogue in UBW--if the anime epilogue (Of UBW) was in the VN it would’ve been great, but obviously, it’s hard to compare the UBW/HF because they focus on two different people. UBW’s VN epilogue was about Archer’s choice in the past mirroring Shirou’s for the future so it was really bittersweet whereas HF’s was focused on the happiness of the group, Shirou being human and living a peaceful life so the ending was really sweet. 

I’m going back to read all the scenes I missed from choices and the Tiger Dojos. Once I finish those I think I’m either going to start HA right away or Extra. I kind of want to dive into Extra because I feel I need a change of pace (I heard the battle system is crap though so...). As for Fate manga, I was wondering if I should start in chronological order--well, I think that’s actually impossible considering UBW just got released so it would have to be FSN, and I believe HF is still ongoing. I guess I can overload my brain and just read them all. Maybe I’ll start Redline. I don’t know, mutuals, give me suggestions on which Fate Manga to read or a light novel? 

I think there’s like:

FSN

Heaven’s Feel

UBW (I think there are only 3 chaps here so I might just read this...sadly I think it’s a monthly update. I’ve gone full circle to how manga was back when I was 13...)

FGO: mortalis stella

Prisma Kaleid (I know the general reception over this. I’m just torturing myself plus I read this in 2009 so...yeah...I--I want to complete it)

Fate/Prototype?

Strange Fake

Requiem

Apocrypha 

I think KnK is in translation hell? 

I know that when I finished HA, I’m going to start vintage Tsukihime (since I don’t have the remake and the translations are still in the works); Mahoyo I’ll just wait for the official release since Hollow Moon’s version was never completed. (I have the power of turtle speed so expect anything to get done in 2023 December)

[damn-stark]

Crossed Stars Bonus Chapter

Takes place between Ch.7 & Ch.8

A/N- we’re moving onto endgame! You know what that means five year time jump! And for that I decided to make this cool bonus chapter! There is some writing that matters to the story coming forth so 😏 but beside that this will include just “posts” from the characters! Let me know what you thought!! Also I couldn’t post a lot of the posts because I can only post 10 pictures but if you all want more let me know! I have way more “posts”

Warning- fluff, ANGST

Pairing- Poe Dameron x reader, Steve Rogers x reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

2020

2021

2022

2023

—

Its crazy to think that five years have passed, that you have been down in this strange planet for five years. What’s even crazier is that Steve and you have been together for four of those years (almost five). Well maybe dating him for that long wasn't that strange now that you thought it through, mainly because throughout those five years Poe has stuck around, even after the disaster confession that almost destroyed your friendship completely.

And saying that it wasn’t completely changed after that day was a lie, it was just you trying to be optimistic and trying to forget the fact that he hardly talked to you for a year, that he had confessed his love for you, a confession you neither returned or commented anything at all actually. Just left your own confession, the whole conversation locked in a box to never be opened (hopefully not anyway)

Why was the need to do so anyway? It’s been five years. Five years of the both of you just living life and acting as if nothing happened, him trying to date and you forgetting your feelings for your long time friend and being....happy...with Steve. It was all just going great. Really great!

To the point where both Steve and you chose to go on a double date with Poe and his date.

Great.

“It’s not to late to leave, you know?” You whisper to Steve as you get walked to your table, “we can still catch that Rom-com movie we wanted to see.”

Said man chuckles as he pulls your chair for you to sit, pushing it in a couple seconds after before commenting with the same humor, “and miss this great date? No.”

You groan dramatically and drop your head on his shoulder. Letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder and rest his own head on yours, “it won’t be that bad. Poe and you are good right?”

You shrug and lift your head off his shoulder, “yeah. He’s been distant lately but we’re good.”

As if you had been summoning him said man appears, following after the waiter with a small and pretty brunette at his side. They both sit across from Steve and you, the girls eyes landing on you before landing on Steve sitting next to you, a wide grin appearing on her soft features and her eyes almost seeming to give a glow as she keeps staring at Steve all star-struck—a look you now recognized only after seeing them another other people before.

“Hi, I’m so glad you guys could make it.” You greet with a forced smile, “almost thought you were going to bail.”

“You wish.” Poe jokes making your eyes roll. He then moves his hand and places it on the girls back, whispering something in her ear that made her look away from Steve to look at you with the same happy grin. An action that ticked you off for an unknown reason. “Kacy, this is y/n.” Said girl extends her hand out to you.

“Hi it’s so nice to finally meet you! Poe talks about you a lot, almost thought he was making you up.”

You shake her hand and keep your forced smile plastered on your lips, “it’s nice to meet you too.” You glance at Steve to try and introduce him, even you knew she him, “this is Steve.”

Kacy moves to shake his hand, her green eyes once again giving off that sparkle, “it’s such an honor meeting you.” Steve smiles and her eyes keep glued on him as she speaks to Poe, “you never told me we were coming to dinner with Captain America.”

Poe responded with a serious tone that didn’t match his smile at all, “It was a surprise.”

-

After ordering your food, after getting it brought to the table the girl never stopped talking. But unlike the other girls Poe’s dated, Kacy was...how do you say it in a way that didn’t sound rude, uhh..less of an airhead. She actually talked about dilemmas that went on around the world, and or talked about her job as a fashion designer. She was smart, but here’s the thing, every time she talked it was all just directed to Steve. And yes you couldn’t blame her, in her planet he was a famous hero, but she could be considerate to her actual date.

The only moment she even slightly included anybody else was to talk to you, to ask if Steve had proposed yet. It was question that you simply answered with pressed lips and a shake of your head. While Steve chose to stay silent, just making the whole conversation more awkward. Making Poe chug the remainder of his beer to ease the awkward situation on his part, his mood deflating and growing quieter than he already was. Something that let you speak to him to try and at least make him feel somewhat better.

“How you liking it so far?” You questioned Poe, who’s eyes were fixated on his plate, his hand just mindlessly twirling the pasta on his fork, not noticing you asked him something until you repeated your question.

“Oh, uh. It’s good.” He forced, a half smile tugging at his lips, “wouldn’t mind food from home though. I miss it.”

You nod in agreement, sharing a small laugh at a passing memory, “you know what I miss the most? Snaps food creations. His mixture of food from the rations we would get!”

“Yes exactly! Man even if the rations by themselves were tasteless he had a way to just make them taste gourmet.” Poe beamed, “he would always say he was going to retire and become a chef.” His smile faltered at the memory of his fallen friend, “I miss him.”

“Yeah me too.” Noticing Poe’s mood begin to drop back to what it was before, you decided to leave Kacy unbothered and let her talk Steve’s ear off. “I never told you but when we were starting out in the defense fleet, I uhh....” you pause and cringe at your next comment, “I had a crush on Captain Antilles.” You glance up at Poe who now had a wide grin, his white teeth showing perfectly.

“Oh sweetheart I noticed. I would hear you and the other girl pilots gush about him. I would also see the heart eyes you gave that man when he wasn’t looking. But I do think your eyes widened more when we saw Luke Skywalker.” Poe teased, dropping his fork on his plate and fully engaging with your conversation.

“I could’ve died happy that day we saw Luke Skywalker.” You laugh, “plus you can’t blame me, Antilles was a war veteran. He fought alongside Luke Skywalker and General Organa. He was a walking legend and one of my favorite pilots.”

“You said that about Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Anakin Skywalker.” His grin turns smug, leaning himself closer to you to ask a ridiculous question. “If you had to choose between those three and Captain Antilles, who would you chose—”

“Don’t.” You interrupt, “I’m not choosing favorites, that’s impossible.”

“Fine,” Poe shrugged, his smug demeanor never fading, “then who would you choose to join your squadron?”

“Pfft,” You breath, rolling your eyes in a lighthearted way whilst leaning in as he did to respond with the obvious answer, “Easy, Han Solo. Only because he did the Kessel run in 15 parsecs.”

“Ah,” Poe shook his finger before you both corrected your answer in unison, “12 parsecs.” The both of you share a hearty laugh, the moment being like it would be before. Feeling like it was just you two and no one else in the room.

The feeling quickly vanishing as Kacy joined the conversation, “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, uhh.” You glance at Poe, both of your laughs dying off and only leaving faint smiles, “just stuff from back home.”

Kacy nods before turning to Poe, “I think it’s time to go. We’re all done with our food.”

“Sure thing.” Steve agrees, waving over the waiter for the tab.

“How about we all go back to the compound?” Poe oddly suggested, his eyes sliding over to you, “I learned a song on my guitar I would love to play.”

Without verbally asking for an answer, Steve and you shared an unspoken conversation as you both looked to each-other, minutes later sharing out loud your response, “sounds great.”

-

“How about you come over tonight?” Steve asks while tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, while you wait for Poe to come back down with his guitar. “We can watch a movie? And in the morning I can make you breakfast?”

You wrap your arms around his neck and smile, “watch a movie?”

“Or whatever you want to do.” He grins.

You bite your bottom lip and nod, “a movie is fine.” At the sound of approaching footsteps you pull away and sit on the couch beside Steve, with Kacy sitting at his other side, a huge smile on her red lips as she watched Poe.

“I just learned this, so don’t judge. I’m looking at you y/n.”

“I would never,” You snicker before propping your elbow on the couch’s arm and resting your head on your hand, “go. I won’t judge.”

Poe takes a deep breath before he begins to strum the strings, his eyes downcast and focused on what he was beginning to play, the silent strumming beginning to sound like the tune of a song. A quiet humming coming from the back of his throat before he drawled in another deep breath and slowly began to sing. His voice sounding soft and sweet like the melody of the music, the tune slowly picking up like the lyrics he sang.

His brown eyes coming up for a few seconds to meet your own, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he noticed the amazed expression you carried on your features. Tears slowly thereafter brimming your eyes, the soft smile on your own lips never leaving, the sound of your heart thumping in your chest picking up gradually at the brief glances Poe would share with you. Or at the little things you noticed, like the way his, his eyes briefly closed at certain moments, or the way his eyes crinkled when he sang certain lyrics.

Stars.

The tears that pooled your eyes, quickly ran down your cheeks as the sound of lyrics Poe sang hit your ears, words that touched your heart more than it should have ‘and its been a while but I still feel the same..Maybe I should let you go.’

More hot tears streamed down your cheeks as he continued singing, words that tore your heart in two and made you question everything all over again. Slowly coming to realization about something more, about feelings that never left. The feeling becoming overwhelming to the point that it made you rush out of the room and close yourself in the bathroom.

“Fuck me.” You cursed under your breath, running your hands through your hair before placing them on the counter-top. “What’s wrong with me?” Turning on the faucet you placed your hands under the running water, pulling them to splash your face only to drop the water as you remembered the makeup on your face—which was mostly ruined by the stains the tears left behind. “Stupid.”

The sound of the light tapping on the door made you pull away from the mirror to slowly open the door to see Steve with a worried expression painted on his face—“are you okay?”

You nodded and lied, “yeah, I just wasn’t feeling good.”

“You sure?” He pressed, his hand reaching to caress your cheek.

Responding with a silent hum you walked out back to the living area, meeting Poe gaze for a second before looking away and excusing yourself out to the group.

“It’s been a fun night, I really enjoyed it,” you feign a smile, “but uh I’m not feeling that well, you know I—”

“You’re pregnant?” Kacy interrupted abruptly and too enthusiastically, causing Poe to choke on the water he was drinking and for your eyes and Steve’s own to widen alike.

“What?!” You squeak, “no! Haha no. No. No.” Was that too many “No’s?” “It was the food, I just don’t think it sat well. I’m going to go to bed. It was nice meeting you Kacy.” Without waiting for an answer from anyone you walked away knowing Steve was following.

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay?” He stressed again.

Turning around you stop before him and nod, “yeah. Is it fine if I go over another night? I’m not feeling okay.”

“Sure.” Steve agreed with hidden disappointment, his eyes catching Poe’s curious gaze on you before he turned away. “Goodnight. I love you.”

You smile sweetly and press a light kiss on his lips, “night.”

—

May 5 2023, couple days before the events of endgame. (Since I don’t know the actual month the events actually take place I just guessed)

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(A/N- this chapter just complicates my feelings for both men..UGHHHH!! The bonus scene literally made me cry, ughh So again I ask, Team Dameron? Or Team Rogers?!! Also these relationships, especially the one with Poe and reader has been one of my favorites to write and develop. I’m so proud of it and I hope you guys like it too.) Also Future chapters is finally Endgame!!!

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