#like hell even the side characters in BIA are more than the ones in MEN. like i said before the only two we vaguely know something of are

[the-acid-pear]

Like look at another movie that was really weird and divisive with wacky visuals and sexual themes, just like men had: Beau Is Afraid.

Beau too was a fucking trip but in that movie we had an story. We had a starting point and an end goal. You'd even argue this is a vague take on the odyssey too. Sure it was kind of insane for better and for worse but all of its scenes and themes tied to a bigger picture.

MEN is so over the place trying to bring in so many details but refusing to give them a reason to be. In BIA at least you can go "Beau is hallucinating/living out his intrusive/paranoic thoughts" and it makes sense because if you have mental illness similar to him (I do) expecting the worst to happen is what you do, but here it's taken to 11 bc well he's imagining it a little too close. In MEN there's not a single semblance of an explanation on anything. They vaguely maybe imply paganism but I'm just making huge assumptions.

Like BIA is a movie that gives you stepping stones to tie it all together, while MEN is a movie where you just gotta write fucking fanfiction for any of it to make sense. And I'm so upset about it. -_-

[tothemeadow]

Is there anyway you could do a fic with pegging inosuke from Demon Slayer? I've read the one with Tanjiro but I cant seem to find any sub Inosuke fics.

alright, so this is a bit different from how I usually write, but I hope this is still enjoyable!

'breathtaking beauty' / Inosuke x Reader

warnings: NSFW, dominant reader

words: 1,404

notes: aged-up character, imperial AU, concubine Inosuke, no pronouns used but female terminology used, like, once

-

The ways of a woman are soft, gentle. A tender touch here, whispers of a flowery nothing, delicate skin flushed and supple. It’s all so delightfully pure, beautifully charismatic. How could one not be persuaded by such luxury, to hold petite frames filled with curves?

To Inosuke, though, he’s far from the feminine charms.

His face carries such particular beauty: a shapely jaw, slender nose, doe eyes with impossibly long lashes. His lips are no different than a rose at full bloom. His hair is soft to the touch and smells of springtime. He’s gorgeous for every explainable reason, yet he lacks the luscious bosom and backside of his counterparts. He’s rather sturdy and chiseled with hard lines corded with muscle. It’d make more sense to model for those risqué novels held in the study – the ones tucked away from wandering eyes, the ones with drawings of men in the throes of passion.

Despite his impeccable looks, his behavior and speech are much to be desired. He’s often told to keep his pretty mouth shut. His deep voice doesn’t match his appearance, not in the slightest. It’s rather funny how his existence is a juxtaposition to itself.

You’re rather particular in the type of employees you take under your wing. The handmaidens and guards aren’t lacking in the attractive department; hell, even the horses in the stables are the most exquisite of the bunch. The concubines living on the estate are no different. Each lady is prettier than the last, the entirety of their numbers more akin to freshly plucked flowers than people bought off the streets or gifted from their fathers.

Naturally, a bigwig such as yourself only wants the best. The other noblemen and women living on the grounds hold no candle to your level of power and authority. No one can argue against you without being humiliated beyond belief; even when you pick up the sword, you are a force to be reckoned with. As the saying goes, the devil is in the details; on your long journey of climbing to the top, you tore others from their pedestals and kicked them while they were down.

Inosuke would be lying if he said he didn’t admire your ruthless ambition. Rather than being someone’s trophy wife or a senator’s arm candy, you chose your own fate. Now, as the governor of the state, you’re only a few steps below the great emperor himself. It’s impressive, to say the least.

It has nothing to do with you handpicking Inosuke off the streets. At the time, he was a bloodsucking leech, working for meager wages to keep the ratty clothes on his back and something hot in his stomach. Even covered in a thick layer of dirt and dust, he stood out from the other street rats; the other concubines even said his eyes were his finest point. Shining like brilliant emeralds, you caught them in the crowd and decided right then and there that you wanted them.

And so, only a couple months later, Inosuke has shed his former shell and lives in a life of luxury.

It beats having to fight others for scraps or doing backbreaking work on the docks. Frankly, Inosuke would rather cut his tongue out then lug another sack of rice. While it’s physically uncapable of carrying future generations (he side eyes a few pregnant concubines as he thinks this), Inosuke does possess certain qualities that makes him stand out from the rest.

He is your favorite, after all.

At first, Inosuke thought this blatant bias was all a show. You had countless people working beneath you, all stunning to the eye and willing to do anything, yet you chose him. Now, Inosuke isn’t the bashful type – hell no. He’ll proudly boast about his special ranking, declare how incredible he is. He’s the all-powerful Inosuke, after all! How dare the other servants and concubines compare themselves to him?

It’s not like he purposely throws his weight around to catch your attention. His big mouth does all the work for him, with or without a careful thought. You just happen to like putting him in his place, that’s all.

Inosuke simply won’t admit that he enjoys it.

You find his boisterous behavior annoying and unsightly. In front of visitors, he is to keep quiet and look pretty. His voice is too deep to sound natural if he raises the pitch or intentionally makes himself sound squeaky. He is to be a good concubine, to make others jealous of how you snatched such a delectable snack off the side of the road.

His high ranking comes with “special treatment.” Like the man-on-man smut novels in the study, you have other ones – more tasteful. (That’s how you describe it, anyway. Inosuke can’t read.) Your preference tends to lean the dominant direction, naturally. Apparently, the power outside the bedroom isn’t enough to make your ego inflate.

The red rope always looks so stunning compared to the fairness of Inosuke’s skin or the brilliance of his eyes. You always take your time, carefully threading each knot into their correct positions. It leaves Inosuke breathless. The blush on his face and the swelling of his cock gives him away long before he voices any pleasure.

He’s so pretty. Those petal lips gasp for breath, red and swollen from the searing kisses you press to them. He pants while your tabi-clad foot massages his cock, your toe catching on the underside of the head. He always makes a mess of himself, precum soaking his thighs and the floormats below. No problem, you tell him. It makes things more exciting.

Inosuke wonders what he did in a previous life to deserve such treatment. He feels safe cradled in your palm, never caring about the fact that you could crush him into fine dust if you truly wished for it. Your words remain soft while your palm is sharp against his skin. The concubine is supposed to be the one whispering such sweet words, yet it’s you who talks to him like you’re softly berating a child.

He’s completely powerless when you use your tongue on him. Whether it’s the wet heat of your mouth encasing his cock or that delicate muscle licking his hole, Inosuke reduces himself to a sweating, panting mess. He truly becomes the whore you took him in to be.

And when you bring out that fine wooden toy, he nearly cries in joy. Of course, you only bring it out when you’ve already made him cum numerous times; he’ll already be wet from your spit and the lavender oil, his cock a drooling mess between his milky thighs. The sight of you strapping the toy to yourself with the leather harness has long since ingrained itself into his brain.

You don’t seem to mind his lack of a pussy. You’re rather obscene with your gentle murmurs, actually. Sometimes, when you’re in the mood, you’ll refer to that tight ring of muscle as the female counterpart, call him your precious princess, and tell him you’ll stuff him so full of seed that he’ll bear a set of triplets. It’s so filthy, so degrading, but Inosuke lives for every second of it.

He’s a crying, shaking mess when you press the dildo into him, your hands tight on his lithe waist. While he doesn’t have a feminine body, he’s still beautiful. You tell him time again and again that he doesn’t need breasts or a weeping pussy to make you want him. It’s even more delightful when ragged moans and whimpers spill from his mouth, each sound piteous.

His walls clench hard around the intruding object, desperate to suck it in further. Gone are his arrogant words; eager pleas of more, more, please! echo in their stead. Inosuke doesn’t mind others listening to his whorish noises or the wet sounds of you fucking him thoroughly – and you don’t either.

Even when he cums for the nth time, you proceed to fuck him, not stopping until he’s a blubbering, slobbering mess. Somehow, Inosuke still retains his ethereal beauty when covered in cum, sweat, and snot. His blissed expression is more breathtaking when you ride him to completion, his body limp yet willing. You’ll coo as you kiss him, telling him how wonderful he is for you.

And yes, while he lacks a female’s undeniable charm, he holds his own for being a perfect little slut.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

a thing worth noting that with the examples the reblogger gave about "female obsessive characters" is that when it is a female character that's obsessed with boys or men it is almost always played as either a joke or meant to be seen as dangerous and creepy - usually both. All the "boycrazy" female characters in the example are meant to be seen as antagonists and/or comic relief, and we know the classic trope of the "maneater". Meanwhile when a male character is "girlcrazy" and behaves in a similar way as the girl characters more often than not he is meant to be seen as an underdog, an aspiration, a guy who is "maybe overdoing it a little" but who you are meant to root for anyways. Take for example the guy in Love, Actually whose only character trait is wanting to sleep with as many women as possible and whose sole goal in the movie was trying to get to US america bc "it is full of hot babes" and who you are clearly meant to root for when he immediately gets flirted with by not one but three "horny sex manic" women at the same time (all of whom he ends up sleeping with at the same time) as soon as he arrives there. The only times I can think of something like that happening to a "boycrazy" female character and being meant as a positive thing may be romance movies targeted at a female audience already, while male characters like that can be found in almost every movie or show there is

That is a good point - usually, the joke is that the woman is being "hysteric/insane/axe-crazy" like the character I think they mentioned from Fairly Odd Parents but not really someone you should sympathise with like we are expected to with the Big Bang Theory guys. Plus, there is also a lot of attractiveness-based dehumanisation happening there. (In fact, ironically, Barney Stinson even directly says this in an episode, describing women on an acceptable hot to crazy ratio)

Plus, I also think it's important to consider that a lot of the bias against women is expressed in a misogynistic, patriarchal framework, not an egalitarian one. Obviously, our point of view (I hope) would be to look at the action that was committed and evaluate the moral implication of that action, regardless of gender. To say: "This Action is bad and you shouldn't treat anyone like that, no matter what gender you are or they are". But 2000s sitcoms do NOT operate based on that standard of morality (hell no, that's kind of the issue here).

(in fact, a lot of media still doesn't do this, that's why movies constantly have those scenes about women slapping their boyfriends which make me want to rip my own hair out. Which is a good example of why this isn't simply a dynamic of 'women are allowed stuff and men aren't': It's a complex interplay of various aspects of heteronormative culture and patriarchal tradition. Most of these movies are made by men. And these men certainly are not some dedicated feminists, otherwise they wouldn't portray (and treat) women like they do. Hollywood certainly doesn't historically or culturally come from a feminist perspective of "abuse is abuse, regardless of gender" and they are certainly not those evul, conniving misandrist manhaters that the right likes to imagine going: "I think physical abuse is okay when a woman does it, so I will portray her slapping around men" (in fact, the right rarely takes offence to these things UNLESS it is to silence conversations about misogyny in media)

The truth is: A lot of writers who write these tropes simply do not consider it abuse. We talked about why they excuse it in men like Barney Stinson (usually by focusing on the men's side of things and using the female characters as props) but that's not how it works for female characters. In fact, the men getting slapped around ARE characters whose interior workings the movie or show addresses. And we are not supposed to find either more or less sympathetic for this. If these writers came from the perspective "this action is bad, regardless of who does it", why would they make light of their lead characters suffering physical domestic abuse? Why would they still treat the woman like a viable love-interest (and her action as justified when they would never portray it vice-versa?) Even make it a punchline? - The reason is that they come from a place where a) women are by nature ineffective creatures for better or worse and b) that a manly Man-Man(TM) cannot be hurt by a woman through the same action through which he might hurt a woman. Because of Man Strong and Woman Weak. A male character who genuinely reacts to being slapped is portrayed as being whiny and weak.)

And I think if we look at the issue in that context, we realise there is in fact (back to the original point of my post) a lot of predatory (or perceived as predatory) behaviour that female characters are criticised for by the narrative that don't really play a role for a male character - BUT: It's usually not about getting The Sex.

The patriarchal, heteronormative narrative is that a) "men always want sex" and b) sex is a resource that women possess and must be "convinced" to give to men (and the more Manly Points you have, the more easily women will drop that sex-loot for you.) - that, on top of the 'women are ineffective' theme is why there are so few shows genuinely judging male and female characters the same just based on their actions. That is the reason why a lot of the time when a (conventionally attractive! of course!) female character commits what is basically sexual assault against a male character, that man is portrayed as happy about it in the end (especially when it's about scenes where he loses his "virginity") - it's because the patriarchal reading of this situation, fucked up as it is, is "she gave him a gift". (She is only treated as predatory if he finds out that he doesn't consider her attractive later) This is also the reason why a lot of men feel more attacked by something like the Barbie movie than all those classic sitcom tropes of men being slapped by their girlfriends - because for them, one of those upholds their worldview of Man = Strong / Woman = Weak and one challenges it. And the one that challenges that view is not the one where a woman slaps a man).

A lot of the time, when movies and shows conceived in this patriarchal framework actually want to portray women as predatory, they (unsurprisingly) also conceive predatory behaviour (in women) in the same patriarchal framework - or rather, their patriarchal framework informs them of what kind of behaviour is predatory in women - something that is usually informed by real-life misogynistic stereotypes and narratives - like the femme fatale, the succubus, the maneater, the vampire).

[fozmeadows]

race & culture in fandom

For the past decade, English language fanwriting culture post the days of LiveJournal and Strikethrough has been hugely shaped by a handful of megafandoms that exploded across AO3 and tumblr – I’m talking Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, Star Wars, BBC Sherlock – which have all been overwhelmingly white. I don’t mean in terms of the fans themselves, although whiteness also figures prominently in said fandoms: I mean that the source materials themselves feature very few POC, and the ones who are there tended to be done dirty by the creators.

Periodically, this has led POC in fandom to point out, extremely reasonably, that even where non-white characters do get central roles in various media properties, they’re often overlooked by fandom at large, such that the popular focus stays primarily on the white characters. Sometimes this happened (it was argued) because the POC characters were secondary to begin with and as such attracted less fan devotion (although this has never stopped fandoms from picking a random white gremlin from the background cast and elevating them to the status of Fave); at other times, however, there has been a clear trend of sidelining POC leads in favour of white alternatives (as per Finn, Poe and Rose Tico being edged out in Star Wars shipping by Hux, Kylo and Rey). I mention this, not to demonize individuals whose preferred ships happen to involve white characters, but to point out the collective impact these trends can have on POC in fandom spaces: it’s not bad to ship what you ship, but that doesn’t mean there’s no utility in analysing what’s popular and why through a racial lens.

All this being so, it feels increasingly salient that fanwriting culture as exists right now developed under the influence and in the shadow of these white-dominated fandoms – specifically, the taboo against criticizing or critiquing fics for any reason. Certainly, there’s a hell of a lot of value to Don’t Like, Don’t Read as a general policy, especially when it comes to the darker, kinkier side of ficwriting, and whether the context is professional or recreational, offering someone direct, unsolicited feedback on their writing style is a dick move. But on the flipside, the anti-criticism culture in fanwriting has consistently worked against fans of colour who speak out about racist tropes, fan ignorance and hurtful portrayals of living cultures. Voicing anything negative about works created for free is seen as violating a core rule of ficwriting culture – but as that culture has been foundationally shaped by white fandoms, white characters and, overwhelmingly, white ideas about what’s allowed and what isn’t, we ought to consider that all critical contexts are not created equal.

Right now, the rise of C-drama (and K-drama, and J-drama) fandoms is seeing a surge of white creators – myself included – writing fics for fandoms in which no white people exist, and where the cultural context which informs the canon is different to western norms. Which isn’t to say that no popular fandoms focused on POC have existed before now – K-pop RPF and anime fandoms, for example, have been big for a while. But with the success of The Untamed, more western fans are investing in stories whose plots, references, characterization and settings are so fundamentally rooted in real Chinese history and living Chinese culture that it’s not really possible to write around it. And yet, inevitably, too many in fandom are trying to do just that, treating respect for Chinese culture or an attempt to understand it as optional extras – because surely, fandom shouldn’t feel like work. If you’re writing something for free, on your own time, for your own pleasure, why should anyone else get to demand that you research the subject matter first?

Because it matters, is the short answer. Because race and culture are not made-up things like lightsabers and werewolves that you can alter, mock or misunderstand without the risk of hurting or marginalizing actual real people – and because, quite frankly, we already know that fandom is capable of drawing lines in the sand where it chooses. When Brony culture first reared its head (hah), the online fandom for My Little Pony – which, like the other fandoms we’re discussing here, is overwhelmingly female – was initially welcoming. It felt like progress, that so many straight men could identify with such a feminine show; a potential sign that maybe, we were finally leaving the era of mainstream hypermasculine fandom bullshit behind, at least in this one arena. And then, in pretty much the blink of an eye, things got overwhelmingly bad. Artists drawing hardcorn porn didn’t tag their works as adult, leading to those images flooding the public search results for a children’s show. Women were edged out of their own spaces. Bronies got aggressive, posting harsh, ugly criticism of artists whose gijinka interpretations of the Mane Six as humans were deemed insufficiently fuckable.

The resulting fandom conflict was deeply unpleasant, but in the end, the verdict was laid down loud and clear: if you cannot comport yourself like a decent fucking person – if your base mode of engagement within a fandom is to coopt it from the original audience and declare it newly cool only because you’re into it now; if you do not, at the very least, attempt to understand and respect the original context so as to engage appropriately (in this case, by acknowledging that the media you’re consuming was foundational to many women who were there before you and is still consumed by minors, and tagging your goddamn porn) – then the rest of fandom will treat you like a social biohazard, and rightly so.

Here’s the thing, fellow white people: when it comes to C-drama fandoms and other non-white, non-western properties? We are the Bronies.

Not, I hasten to add, in terms of toxic fuckery – though if we don’t get our collective shit together, I’m not taking that darkest timeline off the table. What I mean is that, by virtue of the whiteminding which, both consciously and unconsciously, has shaped current fan culture, particularly in terms of ficwriting conventions, we’re collectively acting as though we’re the primary audience for narratives that weren’t actually made with us in mind, being hostile dicks to Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans when they take the time to point out what we’re getting wrong. We’re bristling because we’ve conceived of ficwriting as a place wherein No Criticism Occurs without questioning how this culture, while valuable in some respects, also serves to uphold, excuse and perpetuate microaggresions and other forms of racism, lashing out or falling back on passive aggression when POC, quite understandably, talk about how they’re sick and tired of our bullshit.

An analogy: one of the most helpful and important tags on AO3 is the one for homophobia, not just because it allows readers to brace for or opt out of reading content they might find distressing, but because it lets the reader know that the writer knows what homophobia is, and is employing it deliberately. When this concept is tagged, I – like many others – often feel more able to read about it than I do when it crops up in untagged works of commercial fiction, film or TV, because I don’t have to worry that the author thinks what they’re depicting is okay. I can say definitively, “yes, the author knows this is messed up, but has elected to tell a messed up story, a fact that will be obvious to anyone who reads this,” instead of worrying that someone will see a fucked up story blind and think “oh, I guess that’s fine.” The contextual framing matters, is the point – which is why it’s so jarring and unpleasant on those rare occasions when I do stumble on a fic whose author has legitimately mistaken homophobic microaggressions for cute banter. This is why, in a ficwriting culture that otherwise aggressively dislikes criticism, the request to tag for a certain thing – while still sometimes fraught – is generally permitted: it helps everyone to have a good time and to curate their fan experience appropriately.

But when white and/or western fans fail to educate ourselves about race, culture and the history of other countries and proceed to deploy that ignorance in our writing, we’re not tagging for racism as a thing we’ve explored deliberately; we’re just being ignorant at best and hateful at worst, which means fans of colour don’t know to avoid or brace for the content of those works until they get hit in the face with microaggresions and/or outright racism. Instead, the burden is placed on them to navigate a minefield not of their creation: which fans can be trusted to write respectfully? Who, if they make an error, will listen and apologise if the error is explained? Who, if lived experience, personal translations or cultural insights are shared, can be counted on to acknowledge those contributions rather than taking sole credit? Too often, fans of colour are being made to feel like guests in their own house, while white fans act like a tone-policing HOA.

Point being: fandom and ficwriting cultures as they currently exist badly need to confront the implicit acceptance of racism and cultural bias that underlies a lot of community rules about engagement and criticism, and that needs to start with white and western fans. We don’t want to be the new Bronies, guys. We need to do better.  

[rumblelibrary]

Hello 👀❤️

So... I don't know if this will work or not, but I thought why not, I send it in... And if you don't like it, that's completely fine ❤️🔥

I really like how you write the characters' mind... What they are thinking or how they act... I was thinking, maybe a new mechanic (Reader) at Ferrari (yes, it's a Niki Lauda fic, you know me❤️🔥) who is really shy, but very good at their job, and Niki likes them and he is an asshole with everyone (which is normal from him) EXCEPT with the Reader... And like... Maybe at first he doesn't realize this, but then he does, and gets all conflicted like why is he getting soft suddenly, out of nowhere... (It is obvious, but not for him)... I'm curious how you would see this, write this... The ending of this story is up to you ❤️❤️

Love you ❤️🔥👀

What Is This Feeling [Niki Lauda x Mechanic!Reader]

Word count: 2.5k Warnings: lot of swearing by our favourite Rat King Author’s note: Niki is quickly turning into my comfort character to unleash my sass, thank you for giving me the chance to write him!

Part 2

On your first day at Ferrari nobody took you seriously, but to be a mechanic wasn’t exactly typing letters, it was not a place where somebody high up in the ranks would set a lover to give her some benefit and a free pay check.

You didn’t talk a lot, you stood your ground from the moment you put hands on any part of the car, but you weren’t exactly the chatty type and, being the only woman, it took you time to be allowed to the after work beer, to the birthdays and all the balancing that came with a good team spirit.

In a world full of bias about women, you were spared thanks to your abilities and knowledge. Or maybe, because the mechanics team had someone bigger to fight: Niki Lauda.

To work with him was thrilling, but stressful.

He would walk in at any hour of the day, break some egos, pile up an amount of changes that to make a brand new car would be a faster option.

You sat on the floor beside the baby, yes baby was the car, it wasn’t like you had to stay on the floor, there were more than plenty working stations, but it felt more comfortable for you: it gave you the chance to stand and look at things from afar, you were in need to touch, to understand, to put things together. It was your skill, but also your curse, because it was hard to gain yourself a space on the floor in such a fast paced environment like the one at Ferrari. You were working on the ignition when he stormed inside, the soft chats died fast and the noise of the radio was the only thing left, but he didn’t seem to mind the effect he had on people.

In a couple of long steps he was in front of one of your colleagues.

“What is this?” The man looked down to his sandwich like it was self explanatory, but the following silence brought him to answer “my lunch”

“Nice” Niki said, his lips curling downward in a very sarcastic amusement “well, take your lunch out of my garage because I don’t want your crumbles in my engine” he hissed picking the crumbles that effectively fell on the working table and sprinkling them like salt on the man’s face.

The man frowned and left to eat outside and avoid to punch him as Niki proceeded to his next victim.

“And you call this a design development? I call this dog shit”

“If this is a well done job, I’d better retire already before I get your good job to crack my skull open”

“Just begin again, don’t even ask”

“Are you sure you don’t work for McLaren? Because by the quality of your work I am starting to wonder”

One after the other all your colleagues fell under the axe of Niki’s commentary.

Nobody was spared, it was a butchery.

“So? What is this?”

You looked up at him as he towered over you, Satan himself would be less scary, and probably less attractive, to your eyes. His standing figure with rebel curls and his Ray-ban glasses in his left hand, the polo shirt under the fancy jacket, even his bad character gave him the edge so many men more conventionally attractive lack.

“I am working on the ignition” you said as he bent down crouching beside you as you showed him, his cologne filling your nostrils like the best smell your nose ever encountered.

“Okay, in what way?” He asked resting his elbows on his knees.

You gulped softly “Well, I am trying to experiment if I change this in here” and you pointed to a section in particular “maybe the car will have a better performance at the beginning of the race”

“Have you considered that it could over work the battery?”

“I did, but I wanted to see if I make here something like this” and you took a little tube showing how you lace it around the section “if I use this to push the cooler to work into this part as well, we might avoid over heating”

He listened touching his chin with the edge of his glasses thoughtfully.

“Give it a try”

He just said standing up.

Your colleagues looked at you shaking their heads as he turned around and everybody looked down to their tasks again, so then he left.

______________________________________________________________________ This wasn’t the first time, he wasn’t letting you do things he didn’t approve, but he always listened to you, he advised you, and the harshest thing he said was probably “I think you’re not looking at the bigger picture”

Nobody commented on it and beside some joke here and there, the little preference he had over you seemed to pass unnoticed mostly by him.

“You know, you really need a girlfriend” Clay, the other driver of the Ferrari alongside him, said during some tests.

Niki looked at him.

“Why? Do I look like one that has to fuck a woman to be fine?”

He laughed as Niki was always so overaggressive “No, but you treat everyone like bullshit beside the new girl, so you either can be an asshole only with men or your seduction technique needs a real check”

He frowned, eyebrows furrowing together as his lips parted in disbelief

“You nuts”

“Maybe, but I haven’t heard you complain about her as much as you complain about the rest of the world”

He shook his head “You are just letting you Italian genes getting your head stupid”

Clay laughed at him nodding knowingly “Sure, sure” he patted harshly on Niki’s back knowing how much he hated to be patted around like that as he moved to talk to one of the mechanics working on his car.

Niki crossed his arms resting against the wall of the garage, his eyes instinctively looking for your figure finding you to one of the working table writing down some notes over the changes applied while looking at the projects.

His eyes dropping on your ass like it was the first time he checked it, realising it wasn’t the first time he mentally noted it.

Well, he couldn’t really say you were unattractive, or not his type, or a good mechanic.

His thought process was suddenly interrupted as Clay himself approached you and you moved on side showing him the papers you were just writing on.

He nodded and said something to you, his hand casually resting on the small of your back making Niki’s jaw almost snap for how much he was gritting his teeth.

You shuffled on side avoiding the touch with a casual smile, but Clay kept talking to you and from afar Niki saw him say something and wave his pointed finger between himself and you. You shook your head and smiled turning down whatever he just offered with all the politeness you had, Niki pursued his lips slightly in amusement for his best girl’s behaviour.

Wait a second. Best girl?

He glared at Clay that smirked at him from afar, a big ‘I knew it’ smirk on his lips.

Niki bit the inside of his cheek not liking it.

He was with you like with everybody else, what the hell.

Niki ignored you all day, when you showed him something he himself requested to be shown, he shuffled away, when you handed him something he was looking for, he looked for it somewhere else, he just wasn’t meeting your eyes and hell and thunderstorm fell upon anyone that even tried to engage a talk with him on that day.

“I can’t with your boyfriend anymore, I swear” one of your colleagues muttered to you.

“He is not my boyfriend” 

He looked at you “Then he’d better be soon, maybe he’ll chill out”

“Are you even paid to stand and do nothing?” Niki shouted from afar and you two parted ways faster than two kids smuggling candies during class. ______________________________________________________________________

The next day was the judgment day for all the changes done on the car, your nerves were cracking as Niki arrived in his driving suit and your eyes immediately snapped a mental photo on his figure.

Did you ever went home wishing to have his company? Yes.

Did you ever wondered if he was so aggressive ever in the intimate times? Way too much.

Did you have any chance? Probably no.

You let out a big sigh as your colleagues reassured you “Hey, if it doesn’t work we either get rid of the rat or have some more time to work on it” he joked but you didn’t feel any better.

Niki looked up as he noticed your worried look, your lips nibbling down on your lips, your foot tapping rhythmically and nervously, the sudden instinct to lean his hand on that waist of yours, to rest his leg beside yours to make it stop that nerve wracking dance, to forbid your lips any more damage not caused by him.

All of that crowded his mind and he growled tiredly.

Stupid Clay, with his stupid theories.

He finished getting ready and put on his helmet settling down in his spot rolling his shoulders back, he needed to focus.

The head mechanic came over him repeating all the changes and just annoying the hell out of him, he is not always around the car only to check you out.

“When you're done telling me what I know, tell me something I don’t, I beg you”

The head mechanic did a big effort not to spit into his face and just left him waving his arms in the air.

You touched on your forehead nervously, if you failed it would show in the timings or maybe the car won’t even start.

You looked at him, seconds before he pulled down the dark lid of his helmet, his dark eyes so focused a shiver creeped over you.

You gasped as the signal was given and the car started.

Your fingers finding their way to your mouth as you nibbled your skin.

The car was fast, that was sure, you leaned beside the head mechanic that was taking the time. You breathed heavily, your mind going through all the changes you did, all the small settlements, the little details.

An eternal list that kept repeating itself.

Then the question as he was halfway through the leap, what if you disappointed him?

What if he asked you to be sent away?

Then you looked down to the chronometer, he was already almost two seconds earlier than usual.

A smile started to grow on you, the excitement filling your veins.

The sound of the engine roaring beautifully, you made it!

Then it happened, some smoke raised up to the sky, one of the wheels snapped, the breath died in your throat.

The car flexed on side but Niki controlled it and guided it against the sandy side of the track that slowed it down until it stopped.

“He was breaking his record” the head mechanic sighed “now he is just going to break our balls”

Niki moved out of the car throwing his helmet on the ground pushing off roughly anyone that tried to help him or check if he was hurt, some of the mechanics moving to the tow truck to recollect the car, Niki moving past you, his face tense and his posture of someone ready to snap some necks. You didn’t see him for the rest of the day, nobody talked about him, nobody mentioned anything as the storm will fall on all of the team the next day.

Now it was the head mechanic to face it for all of you.

______________________________________________________________________

That night you stayed over time, the other colleagues told you to just go home, to not let the thing sink of you, to look at it with fresh eyes and all those circumstantial phrases people gift you when they try to cheer you up. 

As always on the floor, you had now the chance to spread the pieces out, collect them into branches of types and use. You pulled closer your notebook writing down the ideas and things to remember to check, the image of Niki almost crashing gutting you even if you soon realised it wasn’t your change that set off the wheel, but it was part of the cause, the car was now too powerful and the stress on the suspensions was deadly.

You yawned lightly pulling a catalogue of replacements parts trying to find the best mix you could manage, but you surely had to make up something about it. You didn’t expect to solve the problem or to find the solution for everything with a creative twist, but to, at least, plan a sequence of possibilities to present to your chief the next day.

A hand slowly leaning a mug of steaming coffee beside you.

You looked up to find Niki there, another cup in his hand, those messy curls calling to be touched, his impeccable style always winning you over with a dark turtleneck and his tweed jacket.

“Found the problem?” He asked sharply as always.

He was surprised to see you there, he spent the rest of the afternoon after the malfunction with the head mechanic and some of the administrators as he needed a solution in time for the upcoming race.

So he decided he couldn’t trust their promises and reassurances, but take the matter in his own hand, for a change. But when he arrived he saw the lights still on and you there. He was almost tempted to leave, it wasn’t a good moment to screw things with one of his most talented mechanics.

But you, again, were so into it, you looked so beautiful with your working jumpsuit and the hair messed up nibbling on that pen like it was a matter of life and death.

He couldn’t just let you stay so beautiful and alone, who knows who could approach you.

You nodded “I think so” you said showing him the piece, he leaned his head on side studying it 

“May I?”

You nodded as he took off his blazer before joining you on the floor, he crossed his legs, your knees touching as he stole those papers from your hand.

“Signal to the administration this night shift, or they won’t ever pay you” he muttered without looking away from the papers.

You smirked “I know, but it is more a matter of principle than money, I didn’t like the heart attack you gave me today”

You were surprised by your own words, maybe it was because you really were over caffeinated or just realising how it was the first time you were alone and how you felt comfortable around him. No, not comfort, it was trust, you trusted him.

He looked up from the papers up at you, he didn’t replied to your comment straightaway, he let it sink in, he let your presence sink in.

A one-sides smirk appeared on his lips

“It is going to be a long night, then” Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra Let me know if you want to get added <3

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

Enhypen reacting to you cheating in a game to win

More enha timeeee I've got more stuff in the works for them so soon I'll make a masterlist! Doing a mixture of both video games and arcade games in this. If it's not obvious to tell from my past fics I love me some video games I'm now super into Genshin atm!! Heeseung is absurdly long btw sorry about that he's the only one I actually had an idea for from a random tropes list on Wattpad the rest I wrote the prompt games and ideas for sitting through a school lecture

Pairing: Enhypen x reader

Genre: fluff, crack

Warning: swearing!

Gif credits to rightful owner ✨

Heeseung

Thinking of a way to spend time with your boyfriend and have a fun date

You went to play laser tag, there's no physical harm in laser tag

Problem here is you're both competitive

And deciding against being on the same team

Decided to go being on opposite team

Whoever lost has to buy lunch

So going into the game in the black out neon room full of obstacles you both had one thing on your mind

"I'm going to win" was the one thought racing through both of your heads (spoiler alert you won in the end)

Protecting your chestplate for your life in fear of someone shooting you

The game got very heated but you thought strategically

You didn't try to find him (that was his goal to find you, but by his height yells or cheers of success eliminating a player you knew where he was 99% of the time) you actually avoided him

You went to get out all of his teammates

It wasn't hard you where in it to win it

You realized there's no way it's not just you and Heeseung now

An idea came to mind

Yelling to him you said

"Heeseung I have an idea to make this fun for us , meet me at the middle since I don't want to yell"

You both made your way to the middle very cautious of eachother but he was very curious of the challenge

Quickly you explained that you two should go on opposite ends of the laser tag maze but each step you take you have to do one shot no matter what

Due to your limited amo this intrigued Heeseung

How he could strategically move his lanky body around the maze without loosing tok much amo

He agreed

And you leaned in for a kiss before "putting the plan to action"

He quickly accepted the kiss closing his eyes taking in the moment before having to head to the opposite corner

That was until he heard the "Defeated" noise come from his chest plate as you shot him in the chest neon red lights covering the what used to be blue chestplate

You giggled as you broke the kiss

"UNFAIR" Heeseung yelled

"We can talk about it over lunch" you said putting your hand in his

You explained your true strategy to him at lunch and how you made that plan up just so he wouldn't kill you on spot

He peas so pouty

Just ate his food and sulked

"You owe me a fist game and next time let's try that challenge I was excited baby"

He'd say with just 🥺 eyes

Pls win this boy some sort of gift he deserves a pick me up

Jay

You guys where having a great time having an in home date

Then you disrespected man's gaming skills

Oh all hell broke loose into a heated argument

"I totally bet I could beat you in Tekken"

"Oh you fucking wish"

"Who do you main"

"Roger" (Roger is a Kangaroo)

"What the fuck are you doing? Representing Jake's home? That character takes no skill to beat people as"

"Yeah well who do you main"

"Is that even a question? Alisa Bosconovitch. A cyborg robot lady with fucking jet legs and chainsaw arms you can't tell me that's not cool"

"You're telling me I'M the one that plays someone that takes no skill to play as?"

You both knew there was only one way to settle this

Jay got out Playstation and everything for it and put it as a 5 match game

Settling yourselves into the game you both where doing actually really well

Way too well actually it was 2 to 2 so whoever won this round one the game

Your anxiety got too high

You where not gonna let this dude win

He'd be too cocky for his own good holding it over you

Quickly you had an idea as you saw his health was only 50% of the way nearing death and your ultra power and held up enough exp

"BABY IS THAT A SPIDER" you yelled looking at the ground near his leg

Causing him to roll away from his spot fearing a spider near his leg loosing focus

That's when you charged at his character

You could see the soul leave his body

When he saw the pink and magenta hair move speedy across the screen straight to his sweet little kangaroo in boxing gloves and a neck tie

"K.O" filling the screen you knew his yell was coming before he even did it

"AAAAAAAAA"

"WAS THERE EVEN A SPIDER"

"No baby I just had to through you off your rthym"

Man he was HURT

"I can't tell if that was foul or not. I'm going to talk with Niki on if what you did was fair or not"

"Babe it's not that deep-"

"No No No you owe me a rematch, kiss and patience as I consult with Niki"

Jake

Gosh this sweet boy

You two where playing dead by daylight on switches laying on opposite sides of the couch so you couldn't see eachothers screen

And you just kept scaring Jake coming up out of no where behind him

"Baby please just kill me you don't have to run up behind me" he was so scared please(〒﹏〒)

He was giving you puppy dog eyes that quickly went to fear as he shrieked from you running up behind him as he tried to start the car for the 18478282 time

You realized he was actually almost done fixing the car due to his pears so you went on a killing spree it was just you, Jake and some girl who was searching for fuel that you couldn't find

Getting back to Jake you realized he actually started the car and was ready to drive it and win the game

You hid behind a tree so he wouldn't see you

So in that moment you said "Jake can you toss the blanket I'm really cold"

Jake is too much if a gentle men he did so immedietly with a smile on his face you felt a little bad for what you where doing ngl

You took this chance and killed Jake's character

He knows that's how the game works that you you still could've done that without

But boy still yelled that it was unfair

Another boy who would just pout

Beware next round he's not going to be nice and will play the murderer

Sunghoon

Who knew a game of thumb war would get so aggressive

You where just waiting for the time to pass for a cafe to open up since you guys where too early before opening

The glares you shot eachother where unreal

Neither of you wanted to loose and both where confident in winning

But one thing was tempting you

The sign flipping over to open on the front door

So in that quick moment you felt really bad

But you stepped on his toe as you lifted your arms down and quickly put your thumb over his

"12345678910 I WIN"

"NO YOU DIDNT THAT WAS TOTALLY CHEATING"

He was so upset omg

The glare on his face

You know the look like just 😐 but definitely angry

But he couldn't hide the smile on his face when you leaned in to kiss his cheek

"I needed the game to end the cafes open now baby,,,"

He went blank for a second confused then

"OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT WE WHERE IN LINE FOR THE CAFE LETS GET IN"

A smile filled his face and he moved your hands to be in an actual hand holding way as you too went in

But don't get me wrong

This boy getting a rematch

And if you playing dirty he'll play dirty too

But for now he'll be fine having this cafe date of coffee/tea and pastries with you

Sunoo

Rthym games aren't a competition

But you guys made it one-

Who could get a higher score??

Originally a joke gone TOO far

Since here you are playing one song from Superstar Woollim, Superstar SM and Superstar JYP

Just 3 main and random superstar rthym games

Each thing was going alright then you got to Woollim

You both played the same songs but each got to choose a song

Woollim you knew The Eye was hard so you chose it and had him go first

He was doing surprisingly well though

Too well🤔

But suddenly Jungwon entered the room

You knew what to do

Make that boy jealous

"Hi bubs! How are you?" You said looking up to Jungwon

Jungwon was very polite asked you how you where

And Sunoo was not having it

He's fine with you being friends with all of enha

He encourages it!

But bubs is a pet name that's for him and him only😔😔

This caused his attention to tare away for a second

Suddenly in the blink of an eye his heart dropped as the "missed" noise came through the phone

The yELL

He was so mad

Once the song was done he immedietly went

"Did you do that on purpose?"

"Sort of"

And then you just did your turn and this boy gasped and look at you likeヽ༼⁰o⁰；༽ノ

He would be pettyyyyy

He'd be so mad

Pouting and glaring at you

Just completely done

You'd have to go in with a LOT of cuddles and affection

But he'd still not budge for a while

You got a better score than him so you won

But he will hold this over you whenever he wants something he'll be like

"remember when you cheated in a game we where playing by making me jealous? That was a little too much don't you think? Now grab me one of the ice cream bars from the freezer"

Jungwon

Wonnie this precious boy

Ppuyo ppuyo Tetris is not a game to play with others

It ruins relationships, friendships, family bonds (from personal experience as someone who got grilled on their Tetris skills while playing 1v1 while my friend was also doing terrible)

He got it since the characters looked cute

And Tetris is fun!

So why not??

You guys started playing it on the switch and everything was fine at first

Then it started getting faster

Wonnie chose the annoying little wizard guy that just yells every 5 seconds

It was driving you both up a wall ngl

So you where like how do I cheat in Tetris,,,

You realized you where gonna get a 5 in 1 move so it was gonna fuck up his play real hard

But if he realizes that's your move he can make one just as strong if he puts his brain to realize what spots he has open and he's good at coming back from riskfull moments

So you digged deep in your brain to think of something quick

It hit you then

"Wonnie did I ever tell you who my Enhypen bias was"

His face just sort scrunched and he was like ¯\_���_ಠ_/¯ I thought it was me? Moment

"wouldn't it be me? I never thought to ask"

"Oh okay" legit you had gone in with the 5 in 1 move and he hadn't looked at the silver blocks that quickly started to fill his screen he wanted to know

"nonono who is it?" Turned to you he didn't even see the mess that was on his screen

Until he heard the god for saken wizard just yell in defeat

"wait no that's unfair you can't drop something like that on me while we where in a 1v1 match"

His eyes he would just ಠ︵ಠ

Boy so sad :((

He lost the game and now he doesn't know if you bias him or not

If you do bias him you'd just tell him and he'd be like you stressed me out for noThing??

If you didn't bias him he'd be fine with it but he'd need a little moment of confirmation

Idk give this boy some kisses you stressing him out

Niki

Intense DDR fight let's go

This boy don't go down without a fight

Neither do you

But as the levels kept going and the energy got more and more intense

You know it was very likely Niki could win

That boy is dancing prodigy type of guy

So he be doing these steps while also the hand work of the dance itself just to flex

Done with the cute boys snarky behavior

You did the one thing that would throw him of his rthym

Pretend to get hurt

You crouched in a way and made it seem like your knee was in pain but you where still doing the steps

Niki was gonna look over to you to be snarky and witty

But you looked in pain and this giant baby got panicked

"nononono baby are you okay? If you're in pain don't worsen your injury we can stop playing, what about your knee hurts?" He was panicking and you immedietly felt so bad

He stopped moving and so his score got worse and worse

You felt so bad you pretended to just act it out a lil more

"no don't worry Riki it's okay I'll be fine"

"don't say that you're in pain you could worsen your condition, let's find out what happened maybe you just buckled your knee? I've done that, be more careful please"

He legit went over to your board and tried to just stop your movements and left a kiss on your forehead

The song would end and your score would be higher but you would never do that as a cheat again

You didn't even have the courage to tell Riki after

He continued to be just so sweet and caring throughout the date

Would probably even text you afterwards like "Im sorry you injured your knee a little but I'm glad afterwards you felt better and I had a lot of fun :))"

Pls you better keep that all in till the day you die or tell him it's up to you but don't mess with this pore boy again like that pls(〒﹏〒)

[holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight]

Hothead

Summary:  Extended station scene from 1x03 between Carlos and TK, from Carlos' POV. A snapshot of how they started to mend things between them after TK had stormed out on the date that Carlos had tried to spring on him.

Rating: General Audiences

A/N: I do not pretend to know anything about the inner workings of a police station, their rules and regulations or what sort of things are contained in their reports. Tried to be as realistic as I could but apologies for any inaccuracies.I also do not claim any ownership of 9-1-1 Lone Star or the associated characters. Pretty sure they own me instead... (:

First foray into the 9-1-1 fandom but hopefully not the last!

Read on AO3 here.

* * *

Carlos was flipping through the files on his desk, making sure he had signed off on the last of them, when a familiar name being spoken caught his attention.

"TK Strand, yeah. He's a firefighter with the 126. Guess he got a little hot-headed."

"You can't keep reusing the same joke every time something involves a firefighter, Ben, seriously."

Carlos looked up from his desk to see two of his colleagues ribbing each other, all talk and no malice.

Jill was right – Ben liked to reuse the same heat-related jokes about firefighters, but his curiosity was peaked over the implication in regards to TK.

"What's that about one of the 126 firefighters? Did they get hostile at a scene we were at or something?"

The two cops looked over at him in surprise. He wasn't normally one to join in on gossip.

"Nah, he was off duty. Started a fight at a bar. Provoked two built men that were drunk off their asses. Bartender called it in after security tried breaking it up."

Carlos felt his worry double. What was TK doing? Why was he picking a fight? He knew he had freaked out on him the other day, making it clear there was a lot more going on internally than he was letting on, but volunteering to get pummeled? That had to be a cry for help.

"EMS clear him?"

"Yeah, he's fine, just some cuts and bruises. He's cooled off now; just gotta process him, give him back his shit, and do the usual stern warning that means bull."

Carlos seized the presented opportunity, hoping Ben would take the bait. "Hey, if it's that easy, why don't I take over? Your shift just ended and I owe you for staying late when I had my abuela's birthday to run to. I've finished the last of my reports from that three car pile-up earlier, so I'm free."

"Well, me and Ella were supposed to do date night tonight… yeah, all right, Reyes. He's all yours. Thanks, man."

"Of course. Have a good time." Carlos said, trying to play it off casual, like it was no big deal, even though he was itching to corner TK and ask what the hell he was thinking. He didn't need his coworkers knowing details about his private life so it was better they didn't know he knew the guy more intimately than professional overlap.

"I think you still owe Spencer, Reyes. Pretty boy is easy on the eyes, even if he is an idiot who started a bar fight." Officer Porter teased.

Carlos didn't bite; the station knew he was out, at least most of them did, so it wasn't that weird of a comment. Reacting would only make it obvious that something had gone on between them and he didn't need a lecture from the sergeant on duty about professional conduct or bias.

Ben passed over the folder on his way to his desk. Carlos immediately sifted through it, scanning the pages quickly to learn the basics of what had gone down.

Caucasian male, mid-to-late twenties, athletic build. 0.0 BAC on breathalyzer test. No abnormalities on basic toxin screen. No prior records with APD. No registered fingerprints in American database. New York driver's license – Tyler Kennedy Strand. Firefighter identification lists station 126. Charges of assault and disturbing the peace dropped by others involved. Release from policy custody with warning.

He read further through the other two men's files, piecing together that the story detailed matched what he had already been told.

Carlos looked up as another one of his colleagues led a handcuffed TK to his work desk and nodded in his direction. He accepted the plastic bag of TK's belongings from Jill and headed over to his… well, he didn't really know what they were.

He watched as TK held an ice pack to his temple, the odd cough wheezing out of him. He probably had a bruised rib or two, if not fractured, and it no doubt left his chest extra tight.

Carlos strode over and dropped the plastic bag of belongings onto the desk without a word.

TK looked up and groaned at the sight of him. "Seriously?"

Carlos grimaced as he sat down. "Austin's a small town, TK. Or should I say, Tyler Kennedy."

"Ugh." TK grumbled, eyes closed as he kept the ice pack against the side of his head.

"Bummer about getting arrested – people might find out your real name. Which marks the first actual thing I've learned about you."

Being good with his mouth, hands, and body notwithstanding…

"Isn't your processing me, like, a conflict of interest?" TK asked, a thin shred of hope clinging to the words.

It wasn't really an issue, given that Carlos hadn't been the deciding officer on charges and, technically, he wasn't even sure what their relationship could be classified as in order to consider it. If anything, it would be their definable working relationship that was the issue, but most officers in the precinct would have the same problem since they all crossed paths at one time or another on the job.

Carlos chose not to answer him, instead changing the subject. "The good news is that neither of your new friends want to talk about that little scuffle tonight…" he explained while unlocking the cuffs around TK's wrists, trying not to react when their hands brushed in the process. "…and since you blew a 0.0, we're not even giving you a drunk and disorderly."

He finally freed TK entirely of the metal, and TK rubbed his wrists, still not looking at him straight on.

Carlos pushed the bag towards him. "You're free to go."

There was a pause as TK digested that.

"And what's the bad news?" he asked as he picked up his stuff.

Carlos inhaled. "The bad news is that means you did this with a clear head." He swallowed before leaning on the desk to bring them closer together, lowering his voice so any nosy coworkers couldn't overhear. "I'm not trying to be your boyfriend, or even your friend if you're not into it, but you should probably talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal."

TK's eyes held so much pain as he looked back at him that Carlos had to look away. Needing something to do with his hands before he grabbed TK and refused to let go, he tossed the tissue box in front of him.

"You've got a little crud there, by the way." he added, gesturing to the side of his mouth.

TK plucked a tissue out and rubbed at the opposite side of his mouth to where the blood had piled up.

"Other side." he said, staring unblinking at the computer screen without taking any of it in. He was way too hyperaware of the man he hadn't been able to get out of his head to concentrate on the words on the screen.

TK wiped closer to the spot but still missed and didn't get the bulk of it, so Carlos sighed and grabbed a tissue of his own.

"Stop. Just… let me."

Deep green eyes bore into his brown ones as Carlos gently wiped the area, managing to get at least the worst of it. Their gaze was locked so intensely, Carlos was half-expecting sparks to explode in the air. God, he wished he could read TK's mind. There was some sort of storm brewing behind his eyes and Carlos had no idea what kind of emotion was rolling in.

He pulled the tissue away, crushing it up in his fist to stop him from saying or doing something stupid. He had already put his heart on the line enough with the man. No need to solidify his humiliation any further.

"Thanks." TK muttered, looking away finally.

Carlos didn't look at him, pretending to be wrapped up with finalizing the paperwork on the computer.

TK leaned over the desk, crossing an arm over the space between them. "Hey. I'm sorry I went crazy on you the other night." he said softly.

Carlos didn't want to reveal all of his cards, but there was no denying the thrill that rolled through him that TK was trying to apologize for what went down between them the other day. It had been eating him up inside since. And if TK was bringing it up unprompted, maybe that meant it had been bothering him too. And that he actually wanted to mend things between them.

Carlos managed to play it cool and indifferent. "I'm a cop. I'm used to crazy."

"Look, I just went through a really bad breakup. Like, nuclear bad. And then I relapsed."

Carlos had turned his body to face him but couldn't look him in the face, instead busying himself with a report on his desk. "You mean with me?"

Great, he was just a mistake. A 'relapse'. Guess that meant TK slept around, or used to, and it really had meant nothing to him.

"No. I mean with substances."

Carlos finally looked up at that. He wasn't expecting the confession, nor the way that TK was exposing himself to him right then. TK had addiction issues? Had given up substances likely due to misuse or overuse and his breakup had been bad enough to trigger using again?

Something clicked in his memory from the other night and he felt shame wash over him. "Right. Which explains your reaction to the champagne."

He had never asked if TK was even a fan of champagne or alcohol in general. He should've been more respectful and anticipated the idea that maybe TK had a poor relationship with it, or a bad experience, or just wasn't interested in it at all. No wonder he got his back up right away – Carlos had been trying to have a proper date with him but he didn't know this important thing about him. And TK was still probably pretty raw after his relapse that even the pressure to be polite would've been enough to set off some ugly emotions. That he'd have to come up with an excuse or lie, because who wanted to reveal their deepest secrets that early on?

"I'm such an idiot. I'm-I'm sorry…"

TK cut off his stammering. "No, it's fine, okay? I just… ever since I got here, it's just… it's just grey. And I just feel numb, all the time. I guess I just… I wanted to feel something."

TK's eyes were wet now, and there was nothing but heartbreaking honesty reflecting out of them.

Carlos felt his own eyes filling with moisture. He didn't know what to say. Hearing that TK had been hurting so badly, that he still was struggling so much… it broke his heart.

TK slipped his wallet and phone out of the clear bag finally and stood up to leave, heading in direction of the exit without another word. It seemed he had said all he needed to say.

Carlos couldn't let him go yet, couldn't let that be the last thing said between them tonight. "Judging by that lip, I'd say mission accomplished."

TK stared at him in irritable disbelief, the barest hint of amusement at the edges. "You really busting my balls right now?"

"Yeah. I suppose I am." Carlos replied.

He couldn't help the way the corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smirk, and he felt his heart pick up its pace when he saw TK's expression break into one of his gorgeous smiles.

TK shook his head at him in mock-disappointment. "And all this time, I thought you were too good for me."

It was clearly meant in jest, but Carlos could detect the hidden truth behind the words. He was a little too stunned to say anything to dispute it, their easy banter normally coming naturally to him but he was drawing a blank.

It wasn't until the door closed behind him that Carlos moved, and then he was crossing the station to chase him outside.

"TK! Wait."

TK turned from where he was walking down the sidewalk, his movements more ginger now than they were in the station. He likely was in a lot more physical pain than he had let on.

Carlos stood in front of him and inhaled a breath in the hopes that it would instill some courage in him.

"Thank you for telling me all of that. I know that couldn't have been easy. But I want you to know, it doesn't change anything for me. I still want to be with you. Whenever you decide you're ready. I…" He exhaled shakily, glancing down at his shoes as he tried to dig for that bravery somewhere deep inside him. "I really like you, TK. Not just because you're the best sex I've ever had. I… there's something here. I feel it when I'm around you. You're… you're special. You make me feel… so many things I don't know how to name yet."

Great, now he was rambling. Even better, making it clear how much of a lovesick fool he was over the guy. That wouldn't freak him out or anything.

He corrected his throat, trying to calm his anxiety. "Look, all I'm saying is that if you feel anything for me, I can be patient. I can wait until you're more ready. I think you're worth the wait."

TK's responding smile could outshine the sun. He wasted no time in coiling his arms around Carlos' waist and burying his face in his shoulder.

"I really like you too. And I do want to give this a shot. Just… when it has a better chance of not blowing up before it gets started."

Carlos pressed a quick kiss to his good temple before pulling back.

"For now, try to stay out of trouble, okay? You won't always be so lucky to get such an understanding cop like me processing you at the station."

TK blew out an exasperated breath that turned into a laugh. "I'll do my best."

Carlos couldn't help grinning at him, a much bigger fan of a laughing and teasing TK than a shattered and beaten one.

"I should get back. You gonna be okay to get home?"

TK nodded. "Yeah I already called a ride."

"Well, see you later then." Carlos said, not really sure how to be less awkward as he headed back up the stairs to return to the station.

"Hey, Carlos?"

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Best sex you've ever had, huh?"

TK was sporting his cockiest grin, and Carlos wished he could kiss it off of his stupid smug face.

"You would pick that as the only takeaway from that whole speech…"

TK chuckled. "No, I remember it all. I just latched onto that because it was the same for me too."

Carlos took an extra second to process and then he felt himself flushing in pride.

TK's smile softened, no doubt reading his reaction even from several feet away. "Goodnight, Officer Reyes." he said cheekily as he moved towards the car marked with the Uber sticker that had pulled up.

Carlos could only watch as the car drove off into the night.

He felt a little bereft being apart from TK after all the honesty of the evening. Something about being so vulnerable together gave him the urge to be within close quarters, not wanting to give up the resulting rush that came with exposing your heart and having it be safe with the other person.

But Carlos knew that TK needed time. And he was willing to wait as long as it took.

For now, he returned to his desk, this time with a little more of a spring in his step.

[butwhatifidothis]

For a change of pace I’m going to actually say something nice about a character, and that’s Claude (under the cut cuz it got a bit long and I remember!! that’s a fucking thing you can do lmaooo).

Like, there’s honestly a lot to this character that I find very striking and sadly gets overlooked in favor of either making him a complete joke or a complete/near complete sociopath. I like that Claude initially believes himself to be this beacon of hope to this silly land of Fodlan because of his view as an outsider... and then realizing and acknowledging he’s not, that while an outsider’s perspective takes away the bias of growing up steeped in certain ways it also leaves holes that he just can’t catch without someone showing him due to his ignorance of said culture. He thinks he has Cyril and Rhea pinned down to rights because of course he would, why wouldn’t he... and then he actually talks to them and is shown wrong, and he listens! With Cyril he likes being shown the truth even if it means it puts him and his previous beliefs in a nonperfect light! With Rhea he doesn’t just reject her words even though they blow a giant hole in what he thought of her for the vast majority of the game!

And the way his trust issues are handled, while I do think could have been dealt with better had the route focused on his character more, I still absolutely love it. It’s so subtle but consistent throughout pre ts/post ts VW, how often he “makes sure” the Golden Deer are by his side, how he always has to find the “right time” to reveal his plans to them because he genuinely thinks they won’t trust or believe in him, how he genuinely thought that Hilda and Judith would abandon him if things got too dangerous for them personally (in AM for Judith, Hilda for both CF and AM), how you never really get Claude’s full story anywhere even in the end or the S support (almost like that’s a big source of trauma for him and he’s a secretive guy because of that trauma that doesn’t magically stop being a thing because you wanna kiss him! Congrats IntSys for once you managed to get something kinda right!), how even something like you calling him a stalwart ally is responded with a wink and a deflection saying that you’re just flattering him (because you can’t actually believe he’s a good ally too, right?), but then you see him actually trust someone and oh. Oh man. The difference is night and day. How he pleads with Dimitri to stop fighting and join forces in both AM and VW despite Dimitri being off the fucking walls at the time, how he honestly believed that Dimitri would not only recover from his madness but still come to his aid in AM, hell even in CF he honestly believes that there’s no way Byleth would kill him despite them deliberately forcing the Alliance into the war by invading them, shown by his shock and hurt if you actually do - Claude puts his trust in few people but when he does he does and that’s honestly so indicative of how drastic his trust issues affect him.

You see that growth more blatantly in his supports as well - compare how worriedly Claude deflects Hilda’s observation about his knowledge of how Almyrans see the Gonerils pre ts to him inviting her to meet his parents post ts. Similar with Leonie, how he offers to take her to his homeland, something pre ts Claude would never dream of. 

And then there’s his empathy and compassion! Like often he’s very careless when it comes to trying to discover the truth yes, but when he sees there’s a line he’s going to cross if he does? He steps back, always. His supports with Marianne show this amazingly, with him thoughtlessly stepping on her insecurities, trying to apologize and make her feel better but failing, and then ending with him opening up to her about his own life - something he very, very rarely does - to make her feel less alone with her struggles. His ones with Flayn even say straight up that he dislike forcing secrets out of people, and when he says he’ll give up trying to get Flayn to talk herself... he does. Legitimately. Afterwards he just spitballs theories to her. Even when he sees he’s hitting close to home when he correctly guesses Flayn and Seteth’s relationship he doesn’t push farther than that despite the huge implications of what that means. And this “I don’t like to force secrets out of people” line is backed up by you losing support points with him if you try to dig at Flayn after Remire.

And we know that Claude doesn’t immediately think of the commonfolk in his dream via his supports with Cyril, but damn, when they’re in front of him, when they’re directly in his care? Claude arguably goes the farthest of the three lords to portect them. Mr. “Tactical Retreat” suddenly puts himself in direct danger by painting himself as a prime target for the Empire to attack in AM and CF. He involves none of the other houses and tell his men to retreat should things get dangerous for them (as shown in explore dialogue with CF!Lysithea and what he says if Judith and Hilda die in AM/CF in their respective maps). He calls in the Almyran army in CF and on the Kingdom army in AM - forces with trained soldiers ready to fight, not civilians desperate to live. And speaking of civilians, he evacuates all of Derdriu’s civilians and closes down entry into Derdriu. Even with him planning on retreating himself should things go badly that takes some nards to go through with given how easily things can go badly for him should just about anything go awry; he goes the distance for those under his care.

And also how readily he offers his support and understanding to the more emotionally abused characters. Look at his talk with Dimitri during Golden Deer’s Plea, back at his supports with Marianne, how he sympathizes with Rhea - someone he actively disliked/distrusted for most of the game - once he hears her story.

And yo, man, his backstory? Imma be real, very rarely do I get invested in “racism bad” storylines because so often they fall into “white man bad POC good” black-and-white (lol) mentality, but this? I actually felt this. So rarely is a mixed race person’s perspective shown in regards to racism since it’s more complicated than “whitey bad POC good”. No, both have people in them that are raised with beliefs that breed racism. They’re not evil people, they’re a result of the culture that raised them, and that raised those that raised them, and so on and so forth. He gets that his dream is unrealistic and that it’d take a very, very long time to implement even if it did happen and even then would face extreme backlash from people from both sides, but he believes in this dream. It’s what lets him face on Edelgard in CF despite the insignificant chance he has of winning if he does so, what pushed him to go beyond his familiar home of Almyra into the completely unknown Fodlan, what drives him to aim for Almyra’s throne despite his position as the youngest prince (aka his weak connection compared to his half-brothers).

And like, Claude shares with Rhea in that IntSys dropped the ball on their characters anyway, despite how much thought was put into them. Rhea is stripped of damn near any agency in post ts, non-CF routes and Claude has noticeably less direct attention given to his upbringing compared to Edelgard and Dimitri (and small things like no appearance from either of his parents’, no child portrait, stuff like that). This is most likely due to their routes basically being copy-pastes of each other so it had to be compatible with both characters so both characters had to suffer for it. But like, for what we got? I still love it.

[masterthespianduchovny]

Some people gon be mad at me, but I gotta say it...

Some Scully fans don't understand Scully or her relationship/feelings with/for Mulder.

Scully's relationship with Mulder is this utterly pure thing that is grounded by how much she genuinely cares, respects, and supports him as a person. When you understand Scully's perception of Mulder in this view, seeing her as some long suffering woman doesn't make any sense.

Most of the time Scully sacrifices or choosing Mulder isn't based on romantic feelings, it's based in moral and ethical values and what she holds important. The show sets this up early.

In Squeeze, Tom asks "who's side are you on" and Scully says, "the victim."

This coincides with the side Mulder is on.

Tom was obstructing the case due to his on bias and hatred of Mulder. Despite Mulder's pettiness, Scully understands that Mulder will always prioritize the victim. She chose justice (Mulder) over pettiness (Tom).

When Scully declines a second date with the single father, she's choosing knowledge and curiosity over romance and her personal life.

Interestingly enough, Mulder never asked her to choose him. He's always asked her to be honest about the truth, but he never put her in that situation to prioritize him over her own professional goals or personal life. In fact, he would've understood if she did and said as much.

So when I say some Scully fans don't understand Scully, I'm not being insulting or intentionally rude, I'm saying they're overlooking small character moments that inform her characterization throughout the series.

Scully was not only a workaholic, she LOVED her work. And there wasn't just an obligation to Mulder, it was to the victims as well. I often think about how in this universe, if Mulder and Scully hadn't investigated these cases, either no one would've or it would've never been solved. It must've been something Scully also thought about as well.

Scully mentioned a few times that she joined the FBI to make a difference. Not for prestige or make a name for herself, but to make a difference. She didn't throw away her career for Mulder, she was exactly where she wanted to be. Those other cases handled by mainstream agents were always going to be investigated and solved (if possible), but x file cases?

There's a reason Mulder was called from bumfuck, Kansas or backwoods, West Virginia. There was no one else. Her and Mulder were the only two who took these things seriously.

But also, Scully genuinely genuinely cared for Mulder. Not because she wanted to fuck him, thought he was hot, or really wanted to date him. She enjoyed him as a person. Like truly. After working with him, understanding this beliefs, and meeting many victims, the x files became her passion project too. She attached herself to Mulder because there was no one alive she respected more than him. Someone who stood by their convictions regardless of what others thought to the betterment of people besides him.

He had his flaws, but the great parts of Mulder truly outshined the worst parts of him.

People often overlook how much the x files and her experience changed Scully. The deadpan, straight to the point Scully we know and love came to fruition in season 5. Believe me, I checked. Remember, Scully used to be goofy, open, and free. Then she was abducted, given cancer, kidnapped, sister killed over mistaken identity, etc. That changes a person.

But none of this is Mulder's fault. Mulder changed her in the best way possible. He opened her mind up and challenged her--it was intellectual. Those other things I mentioned made Scully pull within herself and close off. It made her guarded. So suffered so much emotional and mental and literal physical trauma.

As a result, her social interactions changed.

As a reminder, she became a workaholic because of her passion for the x files and she enjoyed it. Then to add on to that, her work was wild as hell, hard to explain, and some of it classified. Scully lived such a unique experience that regularly interacting with others would've been frustrating, exhausting, and her having a sense of feeling misunderstood. And dating would've been a minefield.

Thing is: Scully didn't mind this change to her life. This isn't to say that Scully didn't want or have any friends, it's to say that she didn't strive to have a booming social life nor did she care. Again, she VOLUNTARILY became a workaholic and threw away a normal life for paranormal shit. Someone who does that isn't trying to meet friends for happy hour on Friday or planning to have serious relationships any time soon.

Not only that, some people live lives like this right now and have incredibly fulfilling lives. Some people just work and have one or two friends and they're living their best lives. The idea that just because Scully doesn't have an active dating life and a circle of friends she regularly talks to means that her life is dour is so flawed.

Scully's eventual dissatisfaction with her life was rooted in her believing she should want things that she didn't want. Scully could've walked away. She could've said enough, instead she kept finding reasons to stay because she wanted to be on the x files. And it's quite clear that you can't work on the x files and have a normal life. She didn't want both, she wanted the life that she chose.

At that time, Scully was unable to articulate just how much she wanted to be with Mulder, which is why she positions, "Don't you want to get out of the car?"

She wanted moments of normalcy with him.

And it isn't just because Mulder gets that life because he lives it, its because Scully is actually in love with Mulder for who he is. She's seen Mulder at his best and at his worst and loves every part of him.

Whatever feelings Scully had for Mulder in the past that she pushed away, she couldn't do it anymore. She loved Mulder in a way she couldn't put into words. It was the truest feeling she ever felt, the most sincere thing and she hadn't realized it yet. Then, when she does, it takes them time to get there because Mulder is literally the most important person in her life.

Which seeds were planted back in season 2. In "Little Green Men" (I think), the thought of not working with Mulder saddened Scully because it meant she wouldn't get to see and talk to him. Mulder made a huge impression on her and became important to her very quickly.

So imagine 5-7 years down the road...embracing this feeling and the thought of losing Mulder if things went south would've been devastating for Scully. She wouldn't lose just a partner, she'd lose a best friend too.

Because she genuinely cared for him and he's her literal best friend.

The love Scully feels for Mulder surpasses known definitions of romantic love because her feelings aren't centered in that. She loves him on levels that most people can't imagine. Scully cares for Mulder so much and she shows that by listening to him and protecting him even if Mulder doesn't think he needs protection. She validates him and doesn't trivialize his beliefs even when she doesn't agree with them. It doesn't matter who the person is, Scully will always go to bat for Mulder because he only ever had himself and he needs to someone to say "hey, you're not alone and you're taken seriously."

I bring this up to say, the idea that Mulder doesn't deserve Scully when Scully clearly wants him is flawed. The idea that Mulder should be lucky that Scully "puts up" with him is flawed. The idea that Scully would ever tell Mulder as such or anything resembling (and stressing how she could've been happy with this perfect other man) is flawed. Those first two things are categorically wrong and the last is something Scully would never do because she loves Mulder and that is harmful. Scully would never tell Mulder something that would harm him or that she believed could.

All Things is so pivotal because Scully stops concerning herself with what she believe she should want and embracing what she actually wants: investigating x files and living an unconventional life with Mulder.

Scully wants that.

Not dating around, girls night, or frequent intimate get togethers with her family. She wants to investigate haunted houses on Christmas Eve and discover invisible bodies and help victims find justice.

After her and Mulder get together, she's committed to him. She waited so long to be with him that even while he was in hiding, she never considered dating anyone else. Emotionally and spiritually, she'd been married to him. Now that they'd been together, she didn't want anyone else but him.

Like there's so many layers to this, which hasn't even taken the "like a switch" speech. Or her reaction to Diana, which had multiple levels--romantic, platonic, and professional.

Lastly, the idea that Scully was waiting around for Mulder (to ask her out) is such a basic take. Scully wasn't waiting on Mulder, she prioritized their working relationship over romance AND she knew Mulder had his own stuff going on with himself. Even if she had wanted to date then, she didn't fault Mulder for not asking her out. All the shit he'd been through and was going through, Scully was more concerned about his emotional well-being opposed to upset that he hadn't pursued her.

Although I do get the criticism and the desire for Scully to date, have on screen friends, and shit, it just doesn't track with what we've seen and know of Scully.

Like, this woman almost went on the run with Mulder after knowing him for 2-3 years. They only reason they didn't was because she wanted to see her sister who'd been shot. The reason she almost went on the run was due to moral and ethical reasons and not romance, however, my point is that Scully's convictions and priorities is why her life was the way it was and that's the way she wanted it to be. She then went on the run with him when she didn't have to, but we know she would because 1. his sentence was an injustice (we know how Scully feels about justice) 2. she was madly in love with him and refused to continue living her life without him.

Once again, Scully is discarding any notion of normalcy because she didn't want it and hadn't wanted it since getting assigned to the x files.

And that's on that.

(And it's why I object to the characterization of their relationship in IWTB and seasons 10 and 11. Although it's fine and makes sense for their relationship to have issues at times, the writers handled it so cavalierly and without thought. You cannot have the backbone of the show in a romantic falling out and not address it--not really. They don't try to genuinely deal with such a situation because it's melodrama, but my question is: why introduce it in the first place. If it isn't worth being addressed, it's not worth being introduced. Mulder and Scully had a chat or two, but it was so superficial and lacked teeth. It's not that I wanted the show to focus on them romantically, I just want the show to not bullshit or half ass shit they're introducing and bringing up is all.)

[stillness-in-green]

Ahistorical, Absurd, and Unsustainable (Part Four and Conclusion)

An Examination of the Mass Arrest of the Paranormal Liberation Front Introduction and Part One Part Two Part Three

PART FOUR: Thematic Problems

For all that portions of the Western fandom look at the MLA and see Evil Quirk Eugenicists and Hypocritical Ultra-Rich, they had legitimate complaints, and their goals, while overly radical if taken to their logical extremes—see Geten[51]—still offer a way to address a huge number of the problems this society faces. Locking them up and throwing away the key is shutting off one of the most prominent angles on addressing those issues. Consider:

The Problem of Heroics

Quirk-based prejudice is real, and a huge amount of it is based in the hero/villain dichotomy. This isn’t surprising; when you set up a group of people as “heroes,” it follows logically, linguistically, naturally that the people they fight must be villains. Villains are bad, are evil, are black-and-white figures with no motivation worth considering. Toss them in jail; who cares? They earned being in there with their Bad Actions. But that kind of thinking is insidious—it spreads.

If someone looks like a villain, if someone has a bad quirk, they may well be a Bad Seed. And if they aren’t, well, the responsibility is on them to rise above that prejudice, to become better than the people around them think they can be—but no one asks the people around them to maybe stop being so damn prejudicial all the time.

A horrifyingly stark example shows up in Chapter 310, in which a woman is being attacked by a group of three men for no reason save that they think she looks like a villain, so they assume she must be a villain. Her obvious villain trait? She’s a heteromorph—unusually tall, with a vulpine face. That’s it. She’s not dressed in a threatening or antisocial style; she’s not aggressive or angry. She’s just a heteromorph who didn’t go to a shelter right away because she thought things would calm down if she waited it out.

Love Midoriya following this up with, “I bet they were just scared too.” Way to chase an aggression with a micro-aggression there, hero. (Chapter 310)

Of course, tensions are running high right now, higher than would ever be the case under normal circumstances, but even in “normal circumstances,” this uncomfortable bias persists. Consider Class 1-A’s Shoji: Shoji wears a mask because he's a gentle soul who doesn’t want to scare small children, but maybe instead, people should be teaching their kids not to judge by appearances? Then maybe their kids wouldn’t grow up to be the kinds of people who attack others for looking a little scary and not going to sufficient pains to hide it?

As far as bad quirks go, meanwhile, Shinsou is the classic example on the hero side. He was told by classmates, laughingly, that he had a good quirk for a villain; he carries himself at all times like he’s got something to prove. I suspect the only reason he’s at U.A. and not running with the League of Villains is a supportive home life,[52] but either way, people are all too ready to apply a villain label to him based on an ability that was nothing but genetic lottery, and that’s because the existence of heroes defines itself by the existence of villains.

Of course, the otherization of villains and people-who-kind-of-seem-like-they-might-be-villains is only part of the problem. The other and frankly larger issue is the effect that limiting quirk use to heroes-only has on the cultural mindset—heroes, villains, and civilians alike.

Japan in real life fosters a sense of community support so profound that children as young as four can be sent on small errands[53] around the neighborhood, safe in the knowledge that if they need help, they will be able to get that help. It’s far more common for young children to walk or take public transit to school than it is in the U.S. Another example is the country’s enthusiastic embrace of publicly available AED machines, complete with easy-to-understand printed and audio instructions about how to use them on people suffering heart attacks, a movement that has saved the lives of many who might not have otherwise survived long enough for an ambulance to arrive.

In My Hero Academia’s Japan, though?

You wind up with people who don't even particularly want to become heroes enrolling in hero schools anyway because it's the only way they can imagine contributing to society. Uraraka and Gran Torino are obvious examples—Uraraka becoming a hero less because she felt a calling to and more because it seemed like the best way to ameliorate her family’s hardscrabble lot in life; Torino getting a hero license not because he cared about being a hero at all, but because he was in on the One For All situation and needed to be able to use his quirk freely to help fight that secret war.

An even more telling case is that of the main character himself. Midoriya desperately wanted to “save” people, and from all the evidence we have in the early manga, as far as he was concerned, the only way for him to do that was to become a hero. He never even considered e.g. signing up for any volunteer programs around his neighborhood or joining the police. It’s like he never even considered the possibility of helping people via other channels.

And this is a consistent issue! People who don't think that they can become heroes train themselves (and are trained by society) into believing that they are powerless, that it isn’t their responsibility to help when they see trouble, leading to things like Shimura Tenko's “long walk,” where countless people look at a child of five, bloody and alone, and then make the conscious decision to look away, because “a hero will help.”

Hell, it even spills over onto actual heroes, who in the first chapter stand around like chumps waiting for “someone with a better quirk” to come and do something about the sludge villain, because they don’t have the perfect quirk to solve the problem themselves, so they don’t even try.

Of course, even if they did try, it might not be welcomed. Consider cases where people wanted to do good, like Gentle Criminal or Vigilantes' Koichi, but had their road to heroism blocked—this led them to villainy or vigilantism, which in turn can lead to arrest and possible prison time, with all the attendant stigma.

Restricting quirk use to heroes-only has impacts beyond just how it distorts people’s desire to help, too. Evidence in the manga suggests that some people feel a stronger biological drive to use their quirks than others. What options do those people have, then, if their quirks—or their personalities—don’t seem naturally cut out for heroism?

In Tamaki Amajiki’s flashback in Chapter 140, a teacher tells his class, “People make fine use of their quirks at any number of jobs. Being a hero’s not the only option. How will you be useful to society in the future? That’s what we’re here to explore in quirk training.” This is the scene in the manga that most explicitly tells us that other avenues for quirk use exist, but we’re never once shown what those avenues might be. At best, this suggests that those avenues are drastically limited (e.g. only available to those whose quirks are deemed “useful to society”) and/or poorly explained to people in-universe—else why would Uraraka have chosen heroism despite her lack of interest in it if she could have just gotten some kind of job license for her quirk? At worst, it’s an example of Horikoshi throwing in a line that contradicts the surrounding canon. Either way, we’re left with people who feel a strong drive to use their quirks being pressured into heroism or straying into villainy for lack of other acceptable outlets.

All of these issues could be mitigated by less draconian restrictions on quirks—which Destro's followers are the only characters in the manga we've actively seen pushing for, rather than just heard about second-hand—and by not using an ideologically charged word like “heroes” to describe a glorified independent police force. Allowing people to freely use their quirks[54] means fewer people being pushed into a heroics job they're unsuited for, means fewer people being pushed into villainy, means a more rounded view on how quirks can be used, leading to less quirk-based prejudice and less—well, let’s talk some about false dichotomies.

All For Nothing, Nothing For All

Shigaraki stands as a fundamental accusation of the way the hero/civilian dynamic exacerbates the Bystander Effect, making people think of themselves as powerless, while at the same time putting untenable pressure on heroes to be perfect victory machines who don't experience pain or doubt or weakness. He further attests that this dynamic pushes out people who don't fit either category—victim or hero—making them villains. This is one of the fundamental thematic conflicts of the series—is one hero enough? Are heroes themselves enough? What are heroes, what do they fight, and what should they be fighting? Who deserves to be “saved” and what does it mean, anyway, to “save” someone? What happens to the people who aren’t saved? How will the world grapple with the consequences, the resentment, that stem from that failure?

In his work Underground, written to grapple with and criticize the way Japanese media covered the sarin gas attacks, author Murakami Haruki talked about the response to the incident being to call the members of Aum Shinrikyo evil, insane, diseased, other. They were spoken of as a monstrous fringe that could not have been predicted, about which nothing could have been done, rather than examined as bright, well-educated young people who by all accounts ought to have had good futures ahead of them but instead spiraled down into a doomsday cult. Murakami asserted that, because the Japanese public was unwilling to ask how and why that happened, was unwilling to self-examine, the country was locking itself into a repeating cycle. Memorably, he wrote, “Most Japanese seem ready to pack up the whole incident in a trunk labeled THINGS OVER AND DONE WITH,” to describe this resolute incuriosity, the strong aversion to looking into the face of evil and trying to find the humanity within it.

In this post and its follow-up, tumblr user @robotlesbianjavert discusses the problems that stem from that exact tendency as portrayed in My Hero Academia. She says, “Only making decisions that benefit the greater good is not the real solution that the narrative is rooting for. Not so long as it fails to recognize and address the needs of the victims that still come of it.” Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.

I would also like to highlight her point—which I hope she one day posts her own full essay on—about the way All For One and One For All serve as two extreme poles of equally unsustainable visions for society. This dynamic is all over the manga.

There are the characters of AFO and his younger brother themselves, each forever locked in battle to prove the correctness of his own way of thinking, and forever talking past the other even when they’re face to face.

There’s the contrast of heroes, giving their all to help strangers even when it hurts the people they love, with villains, giving their all to help the people they love even when it hurts strangers.

The flaws in the One For All model can be seen in the multilayered ravages it inflicted on All Might physically, emotionally, and socially. Thus, one for all is not always ideal.

The strengths of the All For One model can be seen in a team of heroes and police combining their efforts and will to help one single person—Eri. Nighteye even highlights this with his speech about everyone’s efforts coalescing into Midoriya and helping him to “twist fate.” Thus, all for one is not always about selfishness.

Once you start looking for it, this duality shows up everywhere, and I think—I hope—it’s an angle Horikoshi is conscious of. The obvious solution is that the extremes of this society are all undesirable—that total selflessness and total selfishness are equally unsustainable, and both are, ultimately, damaging. A more holistic approach is needed, yet if a holistic approach is what the manga ultimately proves to be seeking, it makes the mass arrest of the PLF particularly problematic, if it’s allowed to stand unchallenged. You cannot just choose not to see 115,000 dissatisfied people—some way or another, you have to reckon with them, and if you don’t do it in a way that actually helps them address whatever their core problem is, you’re just setting yourself up for more of the same further down the line.

The MLA believed that they were fighting for a just cause, for freedom, for the future. They absolutely had issues—Geten’s words indicate that much—but they were issues that would have been much better addressed by actually challenging them openly, rather than suppressing them. If they couldn’t get society to agree right away that the use of one’s quirk should be as unregulated as the use of one’s hands, maybe they would have accepted a tiered license approach to quirk use as a good starting compromise. If they wanted totally unhindered quirk use, such that people could murder with impunity? Well, that would never have gotten past the House of Representatives, but maybe a bill declaring that crimes committed by quirks should be treated no differently than crimes committed via any other means would have. A weeklong debate on the Diet floor would have stood a much greater chance of e.g. addressing the needs of the quirkless than the MLA alone would have bothered with.

The MLA didn’t get to have that kind of debate. Instead, they ran headfirst into Shigaraki Tomura, who made them far more dangerous. And yet… For all that Shigaraki twisted them, he didn’t change them so much that Re-Destro couldn’t still see the light of his ideals within them. Furthermore, even though the PLF didn’t win the battle we call the War Arc, it may be that they’re well on their way to winning the actual war.

“The Seeds Are Already Sown”

So what did the PLF actually want? Well, we have a few sources on that—Shigaraki’s desire to destroy “everything,” the cloned Re-Destro’s vision of liberation through “order without order,” and so forth. But a very instructive place to look is Hawks’ doomsaying in Chapter 258. While the PLF is a bit too scattered or imprisoned to appreciate it, a shocking number of the things Hawks laid out for the audience have actually come about, even if they didn’t happen exactly as the PLF planned. Consider:

Bring down the status quo by annihilating all heroes. Heroes—a number of whom died the day of the raid—are retiring in mass numbers. As the manga describes it, they are “being put through a sieve.” They certainly haven’t all been annihilated, but the ones remaining are having to do the work with little in the way of thanks or glory—the false heroes Stain spoke of have left the table.

They plan to attack all major cities at once throughout the nation. Gigantomachia stampeded over more than twenty cities in the space of less than an hour. A bunch of them were surely not major cities, but all the same, it was a rampage that caught the heroes almost completely off-guard (because they were all tied up arresting the PLF and didn’t think Machia would be an issue), leading to massive collateral damage and unspeakable loss of life.

With society brought to a lawless standstill… Thanks to AFO’s prison breaks, a bunch of villains are now out there raising hell to their hearts’ content, and there aren’t enough heroes around to always respond in a timely fashion. They’re having to open up schools as shelter zones, evacuating entire cities, which the common people respond to predictably poorly, leading to groups of people who were not previously villainous deciding to take the law into their own hands.

…Re-Destro and the Hearts & Minds Party will storm the political world. In Chapter 297, the less openly fascist guard worries that the remaining factions of the HMP[55] will still be stirring up trouble on the political front, especially given the enormous wave of brand-new complaints about human rights violations that he doubtlessly figured were incoming.

They will distribute weapons and extol the virtues of self-defense, calling it true freedom. Whether Detnerat picked up the pace of its black-market support goods sales, bankrolled Giran doing the same, or some other groups—yakuza, perhaps—stepped up, we already know that there are weapons and support goods circulating throughout society, and that people are using them for self-defense.

These people will throw the world into chaos and enthrone Shigaraki atop the rubble. The second coming of All For One. Far more so than anyone in the PLF would have wanted, this one has come horribly true with the AFO vestige’s possession of Shigaraki.[56]

While it is perhaps karmic that the PLF is in no position to enjoy the fruits of their villainous efforts, it’s striking how much of what they wanted has come about anyway. And how much of this can really be undone or wound back? Complete societal breakdown isn’t the kind of genie you can easily rebottle, and this, I think, is particularly illustrated by the civilians Yo and Tatami encounter in Chapter 307.

I’d like to wind this essay down by zooming in on that encounter somewhat.

The group of people the Ketsubutsu pair encounter in 307 are not nice, but neither are they violent. Having, like so many others, lost faith in heroes to protect them, they want only to protect their hometown and for heroes to leave them be. They’ve fended off a few small-time villain attacks and are bluntly uninterested in cooperating with condescending heroes (an impression Yo is not helping to mitigate) who have done nothing but disappoint them.

The spokesman in particular feels to me like someone who’s suffered a significant personal loss. The shadow over his eyes here is telling. (Chapter 307)

When Muscular shows up, they are 100% ready to put their lives where their mouths are. They are all in the process of charging outside, first to stop their town from suffering more damage, then to back up a hero kid they just got done telling to buzz off. And you know? It’s possible—probable, even!—that Muscular would have murdered every last one of them, and them charging in to fight him would have led to a horrific tragedy, one more to stack atop the pile.

And yet, while the narrative doesn’t allow them to actually assist,[57] neither does it entirely rebuke them, in the end. When all is said and done, the civilians agree to hear Tatami and Yo out, and they help Tatami get Yo inside for medical attention. The leader is a little abashed, but he doesn’t bow his head and admit to being wrong; his group doesn’t meekly submit to being herded to shelter. And that’s because the narrative is—wisely—unwilling to say that they’re wrong.

After all, how could it?

Midoriya Izuku and the jaded civilian's instincts. (Chapters 1 and 307)

For a last comparison, remember that in the first chapter, Midoriya Izuku—quirkless, untrained Midoriya Izuku—dove into a fight he had no way of winning, no way of even affecting. All he was doing was endangering himself and making the sludge villain even harder to target. Still, All Might and the narrative alike praised him for his action, because it was driven by a “desire to save.” In Chapter 307, a group of undertrained civilians witnesses a high school boy being attacked by the highest tier of villain their society knows, a Tartarus escapee, a gleeful and unrepentant serial killer with a devastatingly powerful quirk. Their response is to gather up their weapons and numbers and dive in to try and help. Regardless of the weakness of their quirks, regardless of their lack of training, regardless of the danger to their lives, their instinct is the same as Midoriya’s was back then—“the desire to save.”

How could the narrative possibly tell us that they're wrong?

And if they aren’t wrong, this group of people who are so very close to the vision the PLF had for the world after their revolution, the narrative simply cannot expect to retain the slightest hint of credibility if it tries to tell us that the PLF are worth nothing more than an authorial handwave and the slamming of a cell door.

Conclusion

What we are seeing in the manga now is a society that is fumbling towards a new way. It isn’t perfect; it has a lot of wrinkles to iron out. Yet in some ways, if this is a society that has gone back in time, it is also a society that has a chance to chart a different path forward than it did before, a more inclusive path, a more balanced one. Heroes can still exist in the same way that surgeons and emergency responders exist, but that doesn't mean people throw their first aid kits in the garbage.

People protest that untrained civilians using their quirks leads to collateral damage, and that's true. The same would be true, however, if a nation that relied solely on public transit suddenly faced the total breakdown of that system and found that, if they wanted to get anywhere farther than walking distance, they had to get behind the wheel of a car and drive there themselves with no previous experience handling a motor vehicle. With some basic training, or perhaps a test and associated license that is as ubiquitous as a driver's license, how much of the collateral damage caused by civilians fighting might be reduced? How might people feel more empowered to act when necessary?

I very much want to see that future in the manga. It will feel terribly bitter, however, if the people who always believed in that future the most don’t get to see it themselves.

Bit characters are bit characters, I know. Terrorists in fiction don’t typically get to walk away scot-free. But numbers aren’t just numbers, even in fiction, even when they’re villains. If all Horikoshi wanted was a sufficiently large, scary threat to throw his heroes up against, he should have stuck with mindless Noumu or maniacal robots. He didn’t. He chose to make that threat human. He cannot now choose to dehumanize the threat, just because those humans are no longer convenient to his story.

Or at least, he can’t make me look at his doing so as anything other than appalling—ahistorical, absurd, and unsustainable.

Come back next time for sources and further reading.

-----------------------------------------------------

[51] And yes, as always, I do think that Geten-whose-name-means-Apocrypha is a radical, not a reliable barometer for the MLA norm.

[52] Contrasting Toga, the standard-bearer for bad quirks on the villain side.

[53] We don’t know if that practice—so widespread it became the subject of a long-running TV program—survived the Advent and raised crime rate, but if it didn’t, that only further suggests that kids wandering the streets unattended are probably in need of assistance.

[54] Within the same bounds other freedoms exist, e.g. they’re not unduly burdening others.

[55] Small political parties in Japan merge and fragment all the time, particularly in times of crisis, so it’s not surprising that the HMP has some sub-groups. I am somewhat surprised that these factions themselves weren’t dissolved as well, given the heavy-handedness on display everywhere else. This is about the only thing that suggests that the arrests might not be as totally over-the-top as is otherwise implied, though really, if that’s the case, it just brings us back to the problem of all the people who probably slipped the net if the HPSC did opt to undercompensate.

[56] Another enormous thematic issue I have with tossing away the PLF like this is that it renders Shigaraki and the League’s hard-fought victories in My Villain Academia all but meaningless—worse than meaningless, since settling into the villa instead of staying on the run or bunking up with Ujiko wound up losing them Twice—but that’s more a problem with the writing of Shigaraki’s arc than the themes of the series as a whole. Certainly, fumbling Shigaraki’s arc will have a nigh-incomparable impact on the themes of the series as a whole, but there’s time to salvage his situation yet, so I’m crossing my fingers and reserving judgement on that for now.

[57] It should have.

[creative-hanyou-girl]

The Witch’s Daughter (Pt.2)

Now with a cover!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha/Yahahime or any of its characters. All InuYasha characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Sunrise, and Viz media.

Genre: Family/Romance/Angst

Rated: Teen (for some cussing and depictions of violence)

A/N: First off, I want to give a big fat “Thank You” to all of you guys who left likes and reviews and for reblogging the 1st chapter of The Witch’s Daughter! I am so sorry for the long wait. A lot of stuff happened over the holidays and beyond that, and college has kept me pretty busy too. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I’ll try to be quicker with the next one!!!

I should also say that while Touga holds both these titles in the story, in this universe, the title of Emperor is not the same as the title of Inu no Taisho.

Emperor: Ruler over the people, responsible for governing the country; Sesshomaru to be successor.

Inu no Taisho: Commander and General of all armed forces, literally translating to “Great Dog General”; InuYasha to be successor.

(trust me, knowing the difference is important.)

Chapter One 

FF.Net 

With that said, on with Chapter Two!

Chapter Two

Swinging the sword in his grip at a downward angle, Lord and General InuYasha huffed in satisfaction. His sparring partner and friend, Miroku, had his own weapon knocked out of his hands as a result of the half dog-demon’s offensive maneuver, the force of the technique even toppling the human man over to land on his butt.

Scenting the approaching threat from behind, InuYasha whirled around smoothly, his blade clashing thunderously with the sword that was about to come down on him. 

This time facing off against his rival and soldier, a wolf-demon named Kouga, the two demons went at each other fiercely, weapons clashing and clanging loudly and violently at speeds that’d be impossible for a human to achieve no matter how skilled a swordsman they were. Sparks flew as the two sparring men met each other’s attacks with vigour.

Miroku, seeing an opening, grabbed his own sword and went to attack the young dog-eared general. Rushing at his seemingly unsuspecting target, Miroku’s blue eyes widened in alarm when InuYasha ducked, hunching his broad shoulders and back forward to avoid Kouga’s blade coming at him from the side. The human soldier couldn’t stop himself fast enough, resulting in him barreling atop his Lord’s back, only for said Lord to adjust his movements in order to have Miroku’s slightly smaller frame roll over the curve of his spine. 

Kouga had no time to react before his fellow soldier rammed into his stomach, losing his grip on his own sword as both he and Miroku toppled over in a heap not too gently on the marble floor. 

The two soldiers looked up at their General as he aimed his trusty blade, the Tessaiga, to be level with their eyes.

InuYasha smirked triumphantly down at his fallen comrades, his golden amber eyes dancing with victory, before swiftly shelving Tessaiga in its sheath and offering a clawed hand out to Miroku. 

Grinning and shaking his head, the human male accepted, the two friends collapsing hands as the demon lord pulled the dark-haired man up before collapsing his shoulder good-naturedly. 

Kouga grouchily climbed to his own feet once Miroku was off him, crossing his arms as he scowled at his rival, “How the Hell do you always manage to one-up us every time, dog-turd? Call me crazy, but I’d think you were playin’ dirty!”

InuYasha glared right back, “There ain’t no such thing as playing dirty on the battlefield, wolf-boy. You know that as well as I do; when you're out there facing a shit-ton of soldiers tryin’ ta lop your head off, ya don’t got the luxury of playin’ fair!”  

“Yeah well the wolf tribes know to fight with honor, unlike you and your sad excuse of an army, General,” Kouga retorted, emphasizing the word ‘general’ in a demeaning, sarcastic tone.

The aforementioned general growled, shoving his snarling face into Kouga’s, his large, clawed hand cracking as he stretched the tendons in a threatening gesture. 

He and Kouga had never gotten along ever since the wolf-demon was enlisted to serve under the Inu no Taisho’s armed forces, only to be surprised and furious when he found that the Emperor’s youngest son, a half-breed, had already taken charge of many of the imperial forces, as he was set to succeed his father in becoming the next Inu no Taisho. Under that position, he’d serve under the next Emperor, his brother, as the commander of all of their Empire’s armed forces, leading himself and his men into the battlefields while the Emperor governs the rest of the country.   

Kouga was angered to be placed in one of InuYasha’s troops three years ago when he enlisted to be under the command of the current Inu no Taisho and Emperor, Touga.

He made it very clear to InuYasha from the get-go that he was displeased to be bossed around by an ‘honorless half-bred mutt’, though he knew better than to say as such around the Emperor and his family. 

That didn’t stop the wolf-demon from expressing his disdain for his general with his fellow soldiers, many of whom also shared his bias, and to InuYasha himself when the imperial family wasn’t around. 

The feelings were mutual, as InuYasha hated the wolf’s stench and despised his high and mighty attitude. But while the half-demon lord loathed to admit it, as his father had pointed out when the two of them were overseeing recruit training, Kouga was a strong and resilient fighter, quick on his feet and great at tracking scents from miles away.

“Almost as good as you,” his father had commented.

Almost. 

Keh!

At the end of the day, InuYasha knew he’d be a fool not to enlist the canine demon just because Kouga held a prejudice against him.

Didn’t mean he had to like it though.

“Well we ain’t in the wolf tribes now, are we ya scrawny wolf!” InuYasha exclaimed back in the present.

The two canine demons continued to snarl and bark back-and-forth, until a previously forgotten Miroku shoved his way in-between the two feuding men, breaking them up after some struggle as his human body was much weaker compared to those of his demonic comrades.

“I believe it’d be wise to step away from each other for a while. We did just return from a five-month trip in the North, after all. Perhaps now’s the time to relax and take a breather after all our hard work, do you not agree?” the human male reasoned, his tone soothing and placating. 

Kouga continued to glare as he looked between the two human and half-demon men, before huffing haughtily and stomping out of the in-door combat training room.

InuYasha watched him go before snorting and going over where he stashed his red cloak and armor, stepping next to the large water basin to wash his face of the sweat and grime he’d accumulated from the return journey and the sparring match that he had just won. All the while, Miroku walked along with him, washing his face and grabbing his own gear.

As the two friends strapped back on their heavy armor over their under garments, Miroku looked over at his companion.

“You know Kouga says that stuff at this point just to get a rise out of you, right?” he asked, locking the straps for his armor to his right arm.

“Pfft. Whatever, not like it matters,” the general mumbled, clipping on his ragged and torn up cape.

“Just take a break from him and other troops, InuYasha. Use this time to spend with your family for at least a few hours! Nobody will blame you, and who knows when we’ll be sent out to fight more battles again.”

“Ain’t that simple, Miro. I ain’t no ordinary, run-of-the-mill soldier like you; I’m gonna have to become the Inu no Taisho after my father. I have ta be on my toes all. The damn. Time. Add to the fact that I’m a half-demon, and that makes my job ten times more difficult since more and more people are questioning my authority and capability to lead them into battle. I don’t got time for a break, not yet anyways,” InuYasha argued, a hint of bitterness seeping into his tone.

It had become such a sore spot for him, being a half-breed. A mutt. When he was young, while there might’ve been a whisper here and a distrustful glare there, InuYasha had been fortunate to not have had to face too much discrimination for his mixed blood, but he now knew that was due to his status in the royal family. It was only when he snuck out at age thirteen in commoner clothing that he experienced first-hand how half-demons are really treated by the outside world when they have no status of nobility or royalty.

It was horrible; he returned home hiding the bruises and scars under his clothes before they healed by themselves. He never told either of his parents.

The incident still didn’t stop him from sneaking out to explore, though.

And then he was announced to be the next Great Dog General, the Inu no Taisho, after his father when he turned sixteen, and that news shocked and appalled many in the Emperor’s court and beyond that. Everyone had expected, nay, hoped that Touga would’ve named his eldest, pure demon son Sesshomaru as both the future Emperor and Inu no Taisho, seeing as Touga himself held both titles. No one had anticipated that his younger, impure half-bred son would’ve been named as Touga’s successor to anything!

If he was being honest, InuYasha was shocked too, but he didn’t want the role. 

He’d never told his family, since he knew it’d hurt them, but the then teenage InuYasha had always hoped for a life outside of the castle walls. Even after the incident that happened when he was thirteen, the half dog-demon still wanted to go out in the world where nobody knew who he was, and explore with no obligations or responsibilities to anyone. The brief experience with the outside world when he was thirteen had opened his eyes to how fake court-life truly was, and he hated it. 

Still, seeing everybody who didn’t even know him, already doubting and questioning his capabilities in such a rigorous, brutal, and powerful position just on the basis of him being a half-demon motivated him to take up the mantle he had previously tried to avoid. 

He’d prove to them, all of them, that he was the man for the job, and that his mixed blood didn’t matter.

That was his motivation that still drove him even now.

“Enough about that. Whatta ‘bout you? S’not like your working to become General; Why dontcha go see Sango and the kids. Bet they’ve been missing their old man,” Present InuYasha said, intentionally driving the conversation away from himself.

Miroku suddenly grinned dreamily at the mention of his wife and kids, and InuYasha still couldn’t believe this was the same perverted seventeen-year-old soldier he’d met all those years ago.

They’d met when Miroku joined InuYasha when he had taken charge of overseeing his first troop of soldiers. When he wasn’t giving them orders or training them, InuYasha kept his distance from everyone in his troop as much as possible, just as everyone had kept their distance from him. 

That all changed when Miroku approached him one night when they were traveling along the Eastern borders. The human had grinned mischievously, but no less kindly with a jug of sake and had asked to talk with him.

“Just want to get to know our fearless new general, is all,” is what he had said.

From there, their friendship grew, though it took months for InuYasha to start warming up to Miroku. It didn’t help either that the young soldier had the bad habit of rubbing up along any pretty woman’s ass and asking them to “bare his children” for him, whether the woman was human or demon.

And then Miroku met Sango, a female soldier and the only woman who knew how to put him in his place. From that moment on, the perverted soldier only had eyes for the no-nonsense woman, and InuYasha watched as his two only friends grew closer and closer for the next few years, eventually getting married and having a shit-ton of kids.

Now they were awaiting baby number...eleven? Twelve? The half-demon had honestly lost count. All he knew was that they were expecting yet again, and Sango was pissed not being allowed into the troops again until the pup was born.

The kids adored InuYasha, or ‘Uncle Inu’ as the little ones and even the oldest three, Kin’u, Gyokuto, and Hisui, liked to call him, and InuYasha, in turn, adored them all right back.

 An old, but familiar lump settled in his throat. 

 He was happy for his friends. He really was, but InuYasha couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy and longing to swell up to the surface.

He wanted what they had.

He wanted love.

He wanted children.

But he’d never have any of it.

Because he was a half-breed, and half-breeds, royalty or not, never find love, real love, let alone have children.

“My Lord! My Lord InuYasha!!!” cried the familiar, but no less annoying voice of his brother’s servant, Jaken.

 The aforementioned lord sighed in aggravation as both he and Miroku turned at the squawking cry, just in time to see the small imp-demon come barreling in only to trip over himself in his haste.

“Lord InuYasha! It is important, your father needs to speak with you at this very moment! It is urgent!!!” Jaken continued on.

Both half-demon and human arched their brows in confusion, exchanging concerned looks.

“You go on back to your family, Miroku. I’ll deal with this,” InuYasha said.

“You sure?” Miroku asked, still concerned.

InuYasha simply nodded.

With that, the future Inu no Taisho with his armor fully on once more, turned and followed the panicky little demon out of the training room without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making their way through the halls leading to the throne room, InuYasha contemplated the matter Jaken had frantically informed him his father wanted to discuss.

It wasn’t unusual for Jaken to overreact over certain matters, but the half-demon had never seen the servant as panicky as he was at that moment, even during the times he’d displeased Sesshomaru. 

When he first followed after the imp-demon to the throne room where his family was stationed, the young general had briefly feared it was another marriage proposition his father had arranged for him. There had been quite a few of those over the years, all of which didn’t work out as they should have. It wasn’t necessarily that all the women the Emperor picked for him were bad choices (although there were some who were stuck-up bitches who only wanted him for the rise in status and wealth), but none of them ever seemed to...click, with him.

He could never explain it, but being with them just felt wrong.

Like he was betraying someone by doing so.

Someone who haunted him in his dreams the few times he slept, but could never identify by face or scent.

Someone he didn’t know.

Or perhaps….someone he didn’t remember.

As they got closer to their destination however, the less InuYasha began to believe the situation to be about something as trivial as matrimony. Jaken wouldn’t be reacting the way he was if it was simply about him being offered the hand of a noble woman.

The more he thought about it, the more apprehension and dread he felt in the pit of his stomach at the unknown situation that awaited him.

Stopping in front of the sliding doors separating him from the unknown, InuYasha glanced down at Jaken, who bowed in understanding at staying put outside the room. The demon lord and general huffed and slid the doors open, expecting but unprepared for the worst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How’s that feel, sweetheart? Is it too tight?” Kagome asked gently, wrapping the young girl’s injured arm in gauze.

Her silent patient nodded hesitantly, staring at the pretty woman treating her wound and glancing at the silent quarter-demon girl who’d saved her.

Kagome finished wrapping her up and patted the child assuringly on her back, “You're going to be just fine, little one. Now why don’t you take one of the beddings we have here and get some rest, hmm? In the morning, Moroha and I will take you back home, okay?”

The little girl hesitated for just a moment.

“...Th-Thank y-you.” she stuttered in a soft voice, averting her brown eyes shyly when the mother and daughter pair blinked in surprise.

The experienced spell-caster smiled pleasantly, nodding her head.

“You are very welcome, my dear. That’s what we’re here for, and I’m glad that you are okay.”

The child blushed, then glanced at the teenage girl still staring at her in shock, before bowing towards the teen in gratitude, which only served to shock the poor quarter-demon even more.

“...And th-thank you, too. F-for rescuing me from th-those big men,” the human girl said, keeping her upper body lowered in a bow of respect.

Moroha was beyond surprised; She was flabbergasted. Never before had anybody who wasn’t her mother thank her, much less genuinely. She was more used to people belittling and repaying her and her mother’s kindness with cruel words and actions. Yet, here this young human child was, wholeheartedly and genuinely showing them, showing her, gratitude for saving and treating her, knowing or at least suspecting very well who they were, what they were. 

The young spell-caster blushed, flustered, “K-Keh! It wasn’t a big deal; I was just passing through!” she explained, defensive.

“Yes...just passing through.”

Moroha froze at the deadly calm tone. Cringing, the teen glanced slowly at her mother, flinching at the angered glare the older woman was shooting her.

Oh crap.

Turning back towards her slightly confused patient, Kagome adapted a cheery smile and clapping her hands together.

“Well, I believe that’s enough for now! Why don’t you go and get some rest, dear, and then we’ll get up bright and early tomorrow to take you home! That sound good?” the woman asked, her tone motherly and upbeat.

The girl nodded, getting up and taking a few steps towards one of the beddings close by. Before she got there though, the young brunette turned her head to look back at her temporary caretakers.

“Miss Pretty Lady, Miss Demon Lady? Really, thank you for saving me. I was really scared,” the child thanked them for the hundredth time, her words more confident and assured.

Moroha’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance, “Demon Lady?”

“Hey kid! We have names!” the spell-casting quarter-demon exclaimed, aggravated. 

“Moroha!” Kagome scolded, her message clear.

Don’t dig yourself deeper into the hole you're already in, missy.

Understanding the silent threat, said ‘missy’ gulped and shut her mouth, not daring to utter another word that could get her in even more trouble than she already was.

Huffing, Kagome once again smiled kindly towards the younger girl.

“Please excuse her, she can be a bit brash. She’s right though; we haven’t introduced ourselves yet, have we? My name’s Kagome Higurashi, and that troublemaker over there is my daughter, Moroha. What is your name?” she asked.

The girl, again, hesitated. Only for a split second, though, as she soon opened her mouth and answered.

“My name is Rin.”

Kagome nodded, standing up and leading her previously unnamed charge over to the bedding, a gentle hand on the small of the brunette girl’s back.

“Well Rin, it's late, and you must be exhausted, so go to sleep and we’ll get you up in the morning. I’m certain your family misses you terribly and won’t be too pleased if you come back to them dead-on-your-feet tired, now will they?” 

Rin shook her head as Kagome tucked her in. Unsurprisingly, the young girl was out within seconds, the craziness from the day catching up to her.

Once she was sure her charge was fast asleep, the spell-caster turned back to her nervous daughter, arms on her hips as she frowned at the teenager.

“Mama, I-” 

Kagome put a hand up, abruptly cutting off her child’s excuse before it could begin, “Come with me over here. Now.”

Moroha shivered at the serious, deadpanned tone. Her mother only used that tone when she was about to give her a tongue-lashing. No doubt about it, she was in trouble.

Deep trouble.

The mother and daughter pair strode over towards the treeline that surrounded their camp. It was far enough away to where they could talk in private and not disturb their sleeping guest, but close enough so that they could still see and check in on the child if any danger invaded their camp. 

Sighing and rubbing her temples, Kagome started, “Moroha, what were you thinking! I told you to not go any farther than you absolutely had to to deliver that medicine, and then you come back with bruises and scratches, blood on your clothes, and an injured child in your arms, telling me there was a mob riot in the village!? And that you used magic to eviscerate a demon’s arm!? Do you know what kind of danger you put yourself in!?” 

Moroha winced, trying to keep the bruises on her neck hidden from her mother’s sight. When she had burst through the treeline back into their camp, carrying Rin who’s arm wound was still sluggishly bleeding out onto her and her clothes, her mother took one look at the injured child and sprang into action, having to clean and then stitch up the wound before it could get infected. So focused on ensuring the child be taken care of, Kagome had only noticed in passing the light bruises and few scrapes on her own child’s arms and legs, but they were superficial and were already healing, so Kagome and Moroha paid them no mind. Not when they had a much more serious, much more human injury, to be taken care of. 

The demon girl was grateful that Kagome had been more focused on the human child as soon as she saw her. Otherwise, the dark, yellow and purple bruises on her neck from where the demon had a tight hold on her would have instantly been spotted on the older woman’s ‘Mom Radar’, as she liked to call it. 

Moroha hadn’t wanted to cause her mother any more worry, so as soon as she was sure Kagome was too preoccupied with the human child to pay any mind to her, Moroha had taken the scarf she wore around her neck and readjusted it to hide the bruises that were still there. With how tight the demon had clutched onto her, the bruises were quite nasty looking, and would take longer for her demonic healing to get rid of them completely. 

Of course, this act of secrecy equated to not telling her mother exactly why she’d had to eviscerate that demon’s arm with her magic. She still wasn’t so sure telling the truth about that was a good idea, but she had to say something!  

“He gave me no choice, Mama! I had to use magic!” the teen defended, hoping her mother wouldn’t press the issue from there.

“And why was that, Moroha? What did he do to make you blow your cover and the cloaking spell to destroy his arm using magic?” 

And of course, her mother pushed the issue.

“Uh…” was all that came out of her mouth, her mind running double-time to come up with a valid, but less severe explanation than what had actually happened.

Unfortunately, the world seemed to be out to get her that day. While Moroha fumbled, trying to make up a random excuse, Kagome had finally noticed the unusual way her daughter’s red scarf covered the quarter-demon’s neck, and had reached her hands out to remove the scarf.

“Wait! Mama, don’t-” Moroha panicked once she felt her mother’s hands moving the scarf.

“Moroha!!! What on Earth happened to your neck!?”

Too late.

Moroha winced when Kagome gently poked and prodded the darkened, abnormally large fingerprint marks on her neck. They weren’t as sore as they were hours ago, telling the inexperienced spell-caster that the healing process was already underway, but with how dark and severe the bruises were, it’d take longer for the bruises to completely vanish from her skin. 

Prying her mother’s hands away from her injured flesh, Moroha cringed even more at the panicked expression, as well as the unshed tears, that she could see in her eyes and face.

She hated making her mama look like that. 

“These were why I had to use magic; he had me by the neck,” Moroha swallowed, figuring there was no point in lying or trying to come up with another excuse anymore. 

The older magic-user stared at the marks that dared to mar her baby’s lightly tanned skin before pulling the demon girl tightly into her arms, embracing her most precious treasure like a life-line, her anger completely forgotten. 

Surprised at first, Moroha quickly regained her composure and wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist, embracing her just as tightly as the severity and exhaustion from the day finally caught up with her, and she buried her head into her mother’s shoulder as her small frame shook from her emotional turmoil.

For the first time in a long while, Moroha was desperate for her mother’s comfort.

She didn’t cry, but it finally hit Moroha just how much danger she put herself in that day, and how scared the whole ordeal made her, though she’d never admit it out loud.

Even so, the partial-demon couldn’t find it within herself to regret stepping in to help a child in need, and she expressed that sentiment to her mother, her voice muffled slightly from her face still being buried in her mama’s shoulder. 

Kagome sighed and pulled herself and her daughter out of each other’s arms, though she still had a grip on the much more petite girl’s shoulders. Her face was resigned, but understanding as she addressed Moroha.

“I understand, sweetheart, and I would’ve done the exact same thing if I were you. But I’m your mother, and I just worry for you is all. I know you can take care of yourself, and I know you did what you thought was right, but I just can’t help it; I want you to be safe. You’ll understand one day when your a mother,”

Kagome grinned when Moroha blushed at the last part.

Moroha coughed awkwardly, shuffling her feet as she looked away from her mother’s grinning face, and Kagome had to stifle a giggle at just how familiar Moroha’s countenance was.

“She’s truly her father’s daughter, that’s for sure…”

“So, um...are we good?” Moroha asked, nervous despite herself.

Taking pity on her poor child, Kagome smiled and looped an arm around her daughter’s shoulder as they walked back away from the trees and led her to their own beddings for the night.

“Yup, we’re good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You wished to speak with me, Father?” InuYasha asked, bowing respectfully before the Emperor and the rest of his family.

The second he entered the room, InuYasha sensed the tension in the air. His family all had grim expressions upon their faces, save for his mother who had a clearly worried look upon her soft features.

The feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach only intensified when he noticed Sesshomaru and his twin daughters clenching their clawed hands into fists, enough to draw rivlets of blood from all three of them. Sesshomaru’s eyes were also bleeding a light pink, telling InuYasha that whatever the issue was, it was enough to rile up the normally stoic demon lord that he was holding back from transforming.

But the most telling, and ultimately the most concerning, indicator was the absence of his young, cheerful adoptive niece. 

InuYasha’s mouth went dry.

“Where’s Rin?” he asked, fear creeping into his heart.

“Missing,” his father simply stated.

A reverberating growl from the Emperor's eldest son rent the air in the room at the word.

“We need you, Sestuna, and Kouga to go and search for her; try to scent her out,” Touga continued, his tone authoritative and resolute like the leader he was.

InuYasha, stone-faced, kneeled on one knee before his father and family, head bowed as he addressed them.

“I will not rest until she is found and safe, Your Highness.” the half-demon general vowed, determination clear in his voice.

The current Emperor and Inu no Taisho nodded, eyeing his Setsuna imploringly. Catching her grandfather’s gaze, the half-demon princess nodded back and stood up, taking her naginata with her as she stepped off the raised platform to her uncle’s side.

“I have already sent a messenger to retrieve Kouga; he will meet you at the front gate. Now go,” the Emperor commanded firmly, to which both general and princess nodded sagely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “InuYasha!”

InuYasha and Setsuna turned at the call, seeing his half-brother striding up to him with a serious glare.

“Father, what is it?” Setsuna asked, her tone deadpanned like her father’s often was. 

The future Emperor stopped before his daughter and brother, his gaze steady but no less imposing.

“I urge you, little brother, to not be your stupid, impulsive self with this matter. It does, afterall, concern my daughter,”

Normally, such a reminder would cause InuYasha to roll his eyes and respond with a smartass retort.

But this time, InuYasha knew the severity of the situation, and he could easily spot the worry in his half-brother’s golden eyes.

They were the eyes of a father, worried for the whereabouts of his child.

Something InuYasha was sure he was never going to experience.

He nodded, his face grave and resolute.

“You have my word, Sesshomaru, that I will find your daughter and bring her home,” 

The young lord glanced over at Setsuna, his niece catching his gaze.

“Both of them,” InuYasha concluded.

The older demon stared down at his brother, as though assessing the half-demon’s sincerity of his promise, before giving a single nod of acceptance.

With that, the two half-demons turned and made their way to the front gate, set and determined to bring back their loved one.

To be Continued....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it! 

Tagging: @misteria247 @loveanime89 @xfangheartx @keichanz @holi-holy @jgomz92 @lostinfantasyworlds @born-for-eachother @littlestuffstohide @nat-the-cat-123 @cnderpaws @mymidnightnightmare @butterflyhufflepuff @bluehawaiicat @pinkweirdsunsets @sangoslays @disneysooner @blairex @shinidamachu @thisisthebesticando @squeep123 @redflamesofpassion @lavendertwilight89 @sailorbabydoll92

Let me know if I missed anybody or you want to jump on the tag train for any of my InuYasha fanfictions!

[smileybokuto]

10 reasons to love | Touya Todoroki

warning: A lot of Endeavour slander in here... read at your own risk. I take no criticism on endeavour. 

𝟙𝟘 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 | 𝕋𝕠𝕦𝕪𝕒 𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚

Reason 1: He’s a villain. Ain’t nobody stealing your ass and if someone is stupid enough to do it mans would literally burn the world down to get you back. Dabi don’t give two shits about other people. But for you he will kill everyone to get you back. Also dating the villain isn’t that bad. You will literally be there whole world. They will always come home to you. They don’t have fangirls like heros do. 

Reason 2: This man is SMART. He is very cautious not to divulge too much information which makes a great villain. They don’t need to know your plans that how things get ruined for the villains. While fighting endeavour he was smart enough to retreat when Miriko came. 

Reason 3: This man has been through hell. Literally psychological warfare. and yes it fractured his psyche but he still is high functioning. He doesn’t spiral even when up against Endeavour (I fucking hate this bitch) the person who broke it in the first place. He is very calculated about when he revealed his identity which is impressive to say the least. Speaking purely from a psychological perspective this is a rarity, people who fracture like this normally spirals and goes on a killing spree with no control. However dabi is able to contain his composure and attack and tackfully retreat that’s impressive. 

Reason 4: If he believes in something. He believes with his heart and soul. This man will fight tooth and nail for what he believes in even if society doesn’t agree. When he says he wants to kill all fake heros he is saying this with his full chest. However unlike Stain he doesn’t see growth in peoples character and he places his own bias on them (This is in no way me side with endeavours bitch ass). Even still he will fight for what he believes in which is honorable. 

Reason 5: Another reason is Quirk is Awesome. The mans flames are hotter than Endeavour (take that hoe). Endeavour could never. But anyways he can literally hotter than the sun fam. hotter than the SUN. He also has amazing control over something that is literally destroying his flesh. The pain tolerance is immaculate. 

Reason 6: Dabi is a great villain. His ambition is purely fueled by anger and the wrongs done onto him by someone who was suppose to nourish and protect him. he is cunning enough to plan ahead for all outcomes. he is also meticulous when strategies it may seem like his plans are half cocked but in all actuality everything that happens he allows. Dabi doesn’t trust very easily so he is always cautious and observant. He also weaponizes information against his opponents i.e his identity and Hawks identity *lowkey spolier but not really. Also he’s powerful and knows when to back down and regroup unlike my baby shigaraki.

Reason 7: Another reason is he is not an abuser because of how endeavour treated him he definitely will not abuse anyone. (Killing is not abusing btw. It’s murder. I’ve had to explain this in class before lol. Thought i’d just clear it up before someone comments it.) He wouldn’t intentionally inflict pain on someone else. Even when he taunting someone it’s never psychological torture. He would never want to be like his father. He wants to destroy his father and never be like him. (as you should 😌)

Reason 8: Okay time to flip him and think about his potential as a hero. He would be a great hero and Shoto would literally worship the ground he walked on. Bakugou would be outmatched and he would take U.A by storm and I mean that. He however would denounce his father and probably never speak to him again after execling so well. You know how we have emancipated minors that would legit be Touya and Natsuo. Touya would try to be the best to spit Endeavour. He would become the number one hero just to be like suck it old man. You. lost. (as he should 😌). As much as everyone like to forget Touya cared about his siblings alot so he would have helped Shoto control his powers. 

Reason 9: If he wasn’t pushed to be separated from his family. He would be a family man through and though. Like I said before everyone likes to over look the fact that Touya loved his siblings and protected them from there tyrant of a father. Touya would cared about Natsuo even as a villain but his hatred for endeavour outranks past familial loves. 

Reason 10: Touya has a lot of potential to grow as a person and as a character even if it’s for good or bad. I get that some people can’t get past him killing people and I am in no way justifying what he did but Touya is more than just that action and there was a lot of potential snuffed out by trauma and abuse. But he still has potential to be amazing. Even though he sent someone to kill his brother he still cares for him. If the Todoroki’s (not including endeavour and his fuckery) band together and try to talk to him and defeat him (They have to defeat him or he won’t listen. It’s a reassurance thing. His inferiority complex won’t let him listen to anyone weaker than him. Like for instance if Midoriya talked to him after pummeling him he would listen might not apply it but he will take it into consideration.) To be honest Touya is very much so a cause of his environment. The love he knew quickly turned into abandonment and solitude. It’s actual heartbreaking. Touya basically did die during that fire at least his psyche did. 

Wow I didn’t even explain why I love him. I love his potential not his actions I am a big believer in people can change if you understand them enough you can sympathize and help. Touya Todoroki is a perfect example of how a parents bad action reflect on the child. I love that. The entire todoroki family is a beautiful portrayal of abuse and the effects it can have on someone. 

A/n: Fun fact about me but most of the anime men I simp for are normally born on january 18 or january 19 and my birthday is january 20 so. I don’t know what that means 😂. But theres a useless fact about me. 

[ponreviews]

The Circle US Season 3: Alliances Run Deep

Category: Reality TV, Competition

Overall Rating: 5/10

Synopsis:

The Circle is back with new faces (real or otherwise)!! Watch these lovable (debatable) characters compete for $100k by building relationships, forming alliances and taking each other down all while being locked in their apartment. From an MIT techie to a 52 year old southern belle, this group of Circle contestants really know how to bring the heat in competition.

[SPOILERS FROM SEASON 3 AHEAD]

Review:

WOO This is a long one! I needed some time to get my thoughts in order, and as you can tell by my rating, I have very mixed feelings about this season. First impressions are always important, especially in this literal popularity contest. It was really easy to pick out who I liked and disliked from the start, much more so than the previous two seasons. Kai, Ruksana, and Michelle were my top 3 hopefuls from the first batch of players. They are genuine souls who really wanted nothing other than to be themselves in the game. The one player that left the worst impression on me from Day 1 was Nick... I know. People are going to be mad at me for that. Nick is probably the most popular player this season among fans, but I have my reasons.

To start off, he was a computer science major from MIT. Before everyone gets mad at me for pointing that out first, I also graduated college majoring in computer science. My experience with men who are computer science majors is not great. Many I worked with (not all of course) came off as arrogant and look down at people who might not get the concepts as fast as they do. I also was a fan of Shubham who didn't need to hide the fact that he's a tech nerd. There are exceptions to what I experienced, but Nick's introduction fit that description to the T. He does a good job at hiding that level of arrogance in the Circle, but that doesn't make me want to root for him. I also wasn't a fan of his hyper fixation on the girls in the game. First there was Ashley, then Ava, then Isabella, and even when Jacki came in he was thirsting so hard.

I could go on about how I don't like Nick, but that doesn't mean I don't respect his game. He did well to focus on his strong bonds and he definitely deserved to be in the top 5 because of that. He solidified a strong alliance and kept close tabs on strong players he wasn't as close to. That being said, it's the same for my girl Kai. Nick and Kai were two sides of the same coin this season. Both had strong alliances and overall great relationships with the other players. Their overwhelming popularity ended up costing them in the final rankings, as Nick and Kai ranked 5th and 4th respectively.

Before we get into the Top 3, I should probably talk about how the events led up to the dramatic finale. This season really knew how to piss me off by doing Michelle dirty like that. Granted it was Ava and Chanel who chose to be Michelle, but you can't blame them either since it was their only way to stay in the game. Unfortunately, I did find Ava and Chanel kind of annoying, so insult to injury when the real Michelle got blocked. There had been a lot of criticism against Michelle for choosing to go see the fake Michelle, but how would seeing anyone else benefit her? She lost and just wanted answers. The viewers want things to be interesting, but she just wanted to leave knowing who was behind fake Michelle. I know if I was in her position I would want to do the same thing.

Ava and Chanel didn't make it far after Michelle, just as she predicted. Honestly, they weren't all that interesting aside from the whole Michelle situation anyway. It makes sense for them to be the ones out fast. The surprising player to me was Calvin. He didn't give me a good first impression. He gave me a similar vibe as Nick, but the difference between him and Nick is that Calvin wasn't as strategic as Nick. As his relationship with Kai grew, we really see how vulnerable he really let himself be at this point in the game. He took more things to heart than a lot of people in the game, but he stayed loyal to the ones he kept close. Yes he had strategy, but all he really wanted was to make it far with his friends. I was disappointed that he chose Nick for the burner profile but I was more upset that he was gone so soon.

Calvin was the one link between the alliances with Nick and with Kai. With him gone, the divide was clear as day. Nick, Ashley (Matthew), Isabella (Sophia), and Jackson (Rachel) against Kai, Ruksana, Daniel and James. The next blocking would be one that no one is happy with. Jackson/Rachel getting blocked made the most sense to me. Even with James having less time with the other players, Rachel couldn't really solidify her bond with the others, and the most crucial player she needed was Daniel. Ruksana getting blocked also made sense (much to my dismay...). Nick's biggest threat is Kai, but if he got rid of Kai, Ruksana can raise hell in the Circle. His alliance is unified against Ruksana but only because of Kai. If Kai went out this time around, Ashley and Isabella could potentially be swayed towards Ruksana. The double blocking kept the alliances balanced, but introducing Jacki tipped the balances.

Jacki had the biggest disadvantage being the last person in the game. Being new was the only thing keeping her from getting blocked as soon as she moved in. The only real advantage of keeping Jacki strategically is that she is malleable. James was the first one to get a good impression on Jacki, so even if she wasn't exempt, I'm pretty sure James would've saved her. It's easy to criticize James for not fighting for Daniel since the alliances were so clear, but in the end he did have a deeper connection with Ashley/Matthew. Daniel's choice to visit Isabella/Sophia was an interesting choice. If the pattern was gonna be the same I would've assumed he would've went to James and demanded answers, but because of the attention towards Isabella being a catfish, who could blame him for wanting to find out? Their meeting ended up being really wholesome anyway. They were on opposing sides, but in the end it's every player for themselves. He got along with Sophia when they actually met and he chose to give her support (and tea).

After that blocking, Jacki's blocking doesn't seem worth mentioning because it's so obvious with James and Nick as the secret influencers and the fact that she had so little time, so let's talk about the top 5! I was honestly worried about Nick winning the whole thing until everyone gave their thoughts in the final rating. In the end, everyone's ratings were strategic because I was surprised to see Kai and Nick rated the absolute lowest out of the 5. By the final ratings, I was honestly hoping Ashley/Matthew would win. Don't get me wrong! I was still hoping that Kai would win, but the way that everyone was talking......... That win for Kai was gone.

Now the most controversial part of the season: James won. Throughout his time in the Circle, he was the funny one, the one with no filter, and he genuinely left a great first impression on the other players (through to the end). However, him giving up Daniel and Jacki brought him a lot of hate from viewers, and initially I felt the same. Does him winning piss me off? No. It makes sense. I'd like to think this is my Libra moon coming out because I can understand why he made those decisions and why the other players would rate James so high. Literally, Isabella/Sophia is the only one I would imagine rating James low due to the persistent catfish suspicion and the betrayal for Daniel. Kai, Nick, and Ashley/Matthew all had positive experiences with James.

I do give this season a 5 though because it's not as wholesome as Season 1 nor is it as dramatic as Season 2. James winning was a disappointing one to many. He folded to Nick so fast and that angered a lot of viewers. It definitely wasn't what I hoped for considering I was rooting for Kai and Matthew at this point, but at the same time, I was really just hoping that Nick didn't win because of my own bias against him. Because of that, I'm fine with the end result. I wasn't excited about his win like I was about Joey in Season 1 or Deleesa in Season 2. You could feel how much love the other contestants had for the winners for their respective seasons, but with James it felt more obligatory from the others. This may be because he wasn't there in the beginning. Players like Michelle and sisters Ava and Chanel didn't even know him since they were eliminated before he came in. The season may have been too polarizing in the sense that the eliminations became predictable and disappointing. The only really satisfying thing to me was seeing Nick disappointed in the finale. Again, my bias against him is speaking here, but I could not help but laugh my ass off when he saw Sophia.

To sum it all up, it was very easy to pick favorites at the start, but once Calvin left, it gets muddy from there. I still have strong opinions about certain players, but they all played a strategic game. If you say even one person wasn't strategic (with the exception of Michelle) you are lying!!!! The players that made it to the end had very understandable reasons for playing the way that they did, but doing that doesn't make everyone happy. The finale kind of proved that. In no way did I feel as excited for James to win as I did Deleesa or Joey. Honestly, the only person I would be excited for in that top 5 would be Kai. I did however find it sweet that James could finally propose to his girlfriend of 12 years. I'm not mad at how things ended, but it's definitely not my favorite.

[mc-doppomine]

Day 20 Bonus: Bad Ass Temple vs Matenrou

I’m just going in order of the battle dates at this point. And I’m just going to go from the music to the character stuff again because I feel it would just get long again. Look, I wanted to go for Bad Ass Temple. Sometimes you want to hope for an underdog. However when it comes to style...I just couldn’t get into BAT as much. Which is a shame because they have the same foundation of their team as MTR and going in the fight a similar way. But in terms of the individual songs, they’re actually pretty even. I didn’t have many songs that I really liked from either side besides One, Two, Law and Black or White. 

I feel this is also the time that I have to say, with music a lot of the time, I’m basing it only as music. It’s lyrics and the like are secondary and mainly used to like inch any song forward if I was truly stuck. So sound wise, it’s been all over the place. Between having flashbacks to high school with Jyushi and feel like I’m being taken to church by Jakurai...it’s been a time. But of course the ones I like are the ones that are ultimately the ones about more mundane stuff I guess? 

And with the group songs...I had to grow to like Kaigen. It’s just a personal thing with slow build up songs, I don’t usually have patience for them which is why I usually like fast paced songs over ballads (there’s always exceptions). But when you get to it though, it is good. I won’t deny that. (Yosh, Jyushi part and then him going off, is such a fuck yeah moment!) Well, Kirei, Kaigen is more fast paced than Tomoshibi, what gives? There’s always exceptions. One is that Tomoshibi doesn’t have as slow a build and that it caught my heart without me knowing what’s going on. Like a lot of my initially crying over Tomoshibi was over how it SOUNDS, not their lyrics. Also it’s slow but not ballad slow. 

Which then brought us to the actual battle. And they would not make us wait. I was gut punched when they let Jakurai and Hitoya go from right out the gate. Anyone else notice how they mirrored each other’s final line of defeating the other with everything they have? Shivers! I initially wondered why these two were put together to fight but it makes sense after Light & Shadow because they have essentially the same ultimate desire of finding safety and growth with their teams but how they go about it is very different. Neither of them are wrong but it’s a matter of the clash between those difference. 

If I had one thing that threw me so thoroughly in this battle though was Hitoya. Like I bet he was the real threat of BAT and I don’t feel I was wrong. But his angle was way different from what I was expecting. Like it seemed like his perspective changed before the 2nd DRB happened. Which ends up coming up really strange, at least for me, in this battle. Because HE is the one that initiated a fight with MTR by challenging Jakurai and was determined to take him down. Not that he still isn’t but he’s already had his chance of reflecting and changed why he’s fighting Jakurai from wanting to drag him down from his high horse to wanting to do this as a challenge against himself. Which isn’t bad, it just makes for a strange dynamic when it felt like it was set up for settling this grudge and he settled it himself before even getting on stage. 

As for the rest of the battle, I don’t have as many memorable lines as they go so fast in this one. It’s a lot easier to lose them but considering this track was designed like a final boss encounter, I guess that’s to be expected. But overall...I just felt like Kuko and Jyushi were too...not that they didn’t take it serious but too green to this kind of scene? Like it reminds me of Jiro and Saburo in War War War except I think Kuko and Jyushi delivered some great lines such as ‘you’ve been so shaved off by society, there’s nothing left of you.’ But they also didn’t seem to hit with me? Although I guess there is a small bias there as like...I feel weird hearing them say ‘middle-aged men’ when I’m not that much younger than Hifumi or Doppo. And know that it’s really not that old...it reminds me of my younger sister.

Lyric wise, it felt like they were fighting two completely different ways and I don’t know how it worked out honestly for me. Like I’m really glad for the sound because a lot of it...wasn’t nonsensical but just didn’t feel like they were going at the same thing. Like MTR didn’t even seem to really focus on beating down on their opponents whereas BAT did. And it makes for such a weird confrontation. So I basically defaulted to what I usually do with the music and go with how I feel from the music and I felt MTR through it. To me, I felt more passion from their delivery and also I’d be lying if I I was living through Hifumi’s haughty laugh, Kuko’s roll of words and Doppo’s screaming (how does Itou-san do it???). 

So yeah, MTR got me with music. 

I said I did the character thing because it’d be shorter to do the music...I didn’t realize I had to so much to say about the music until I was writing. I’m so sorry that this just ends up being super long as I add the character/story aspects...which honestly I guess would be shorter because in the grand scheme both BAT and MTR just have a lot less to lose of going against other teams. Which could be argued is their charm but I don’t know if that alone could save them from future shenanigans to happen in this DRB. But let’s get to the team stuff

BAT vs DH would have to be the most even chance music wise for both teams because they’re new to this battle season. Although I am absolutely terrified of what kind of sound would come from mixing their sounds together. I’m sure all the talented folks behind the DRB music can do it...I just can’t imagine it. I can’t really think of the conflicts here since for the most part they don’t know each other outside of Kuko and Sasara being in MCD for a time. 

BAT vs BB would be a chance to make the ‘koi yo Bad Ass,’ ‘Ou yo Bus Bros’ from Division Battle Anthem+ come true. I’ve hung onto that direct call out since I’ve heard it. There should be answers to their fall out. Ichiro didn’t forget it and feels like Kuko had to have some kind of revelation with it. This would be the chance to resolve this. Meanwhile I also entertain that this iust good hearted fun of like Ichiro, Kuko, Jyushi and Jiro all being around the same age and just being boys having fun. All the while, Hitoya is groaning as he pulls out another set of adoption papers. 

BAT vs FP...I can’t think of anything really since they haven’t had any real connection outside of Ramuda--and I think it was OUR Ramuda--thinking Kuko was too irrelevant for his plans. What a kick that’d be for Kuko to be like ‘so, I heard you were talking shit!’ 

BAT vs MTC, I also have a problem seeing as much of an issue. Outside of Hitoya trying to not have a whole ass conniption. He needs to bring like most of these bastards to court. And also dadtoya because he would not want to drag Kuko and Jyushi around these guys. I fear of Jyuto eating Jyushi alive. Although there could be a slight chance of anger from Samatoki towards Kuko because he’s one of the few people that know the extent of Kuko’s abrupt departure left with Ichiro and even if he doesn’t forgive Ichiro, I don’t think that erases that nasty taste in his mouth. 

And then to reverse around with MTR vs DH, I still think of it being more light-hearted of Hifumi and Doppo being like an accidental rival manzai to Sasara and Rosho. And just ending up petty over it. Watch Hifumi insult Sasara’s suit, ohmygod Hifumi can you not--And meanwhile I’m pretty sure Rei knows that Chuuoku is trying to use Jakurai’s rap ability and I can’t tell if he’s interested in how it goes or if he’d stop it. Because Rei I feel has less hesitance in doing extremes to eliminate what’s in his way. Be that incapacitating Jakurai’s ability or Jakurai himself or ruining Jakurai in a way that he can’t help...that’s all doesn’t seem outside the realm of possibility for Rei to me. 

MTR vs BB would also be a lighter affair as it just seems like bros just going against each other as I don’t know, I think MTR has a softer spot for BB than all the other teams. And to BB it’s like going against dad because I will die on the dadkurai hill. 

MTR vs MTC is rematch REMATCH. DEATH RESPECT PART II. Let’s get it. But yeah outside of sore feelings from last time, I don’t think it’d be as bad as last time. It’s really a ‘nothing personal but you’re in my way’ sort of thing. There is a meeting for the anti-Honobono club that goes on, maybe? Maybe there could be some bad blood if Samatoki knew about Jakurai thinking of helping Chuuoku with perfecting the thing that, at least for a long time in his head, took Nemu from him. 

But unsurprisingly most that would happen is if they did MTR vs FP. Because on one hand, it’s a REMATCH and one I’d personally love because their rap battle was my favorite. But they have the most story threads. I glossed it in the previous but it’s a chance for collaboration or using the other team if Honobono came up. Such as FP throwing MTR at her to distract her from getting Ramuda. They’re cutthroat enough to do it. Or if they could see past their rivalry and work together to save both of their sides from this mutual threat. I think this would be a time for Ramuda and Jakurai to REALLY go at each other. 

Because despite their disdain of each other, I don’t think they hate each other as they like to proclaim. Chuuoku seems to know this feeling on Jakurai’s end as they dangle Ramuda’s well-being in front of him time and time again. Even if he can’t get along with Ramuda, he sure as fuck doesn’t want him DEAD. And it seems to get forgotten but Ramuda IS Jakurai’s MENTOR, the person that taught him to survive in the new direction of the world. Even if this was orchestrated, that bond still exists. And it’s not one-sided because I can’t imagine Ramuda being pleased with Jakurai willingly going with the bitches that made his life hell. He’d be pissed as to how Jakurai could roll over to them (as he might perceive) and his effort to keep Jakurai from them failing. 

Phew...done...with the thing. But yeah in terms of like story/character....mmm, yeah that would have to go to MTR too. I really don’t feel like it’s BAT fault. I just think they’re at a disadvantage for coming new to a battle season. 

[thegoodomensdumpster]

ABOUT SHADWELL AND TRACY

OK so. This is probably going to be the meta nobody asked for + the meta that has already existed for 30 years ( I read a bunch of it before the show came out, but I never found one tackling what I’m going to talk about, so chances are it exists but I missed it and now it’ll be impossible to find ). I’ve been wondering, a lot, how exactly the relationship between Tracy and Shadwell was narratively useful. (Especially Shadwell, what is up with Shadwell, really??? Why did he have to be ... the way he is???) Don’t get me wrong : I know perfectly well how nearly everything / everyone in Good Omens mirrors something / someone else. The Four Horsepersons / The Them obviously, a perfect mirror of humanity’s problems (self made be it for Death ) and how to fix them ( with hope, courage, love, and proper education for newest generations who are dealing with passed mistakes… )

And then all the duos echo each other and act as informations about every character . Crowley / Aziraphale Newt / Anathema Tracy / Shadwell So I had the nagging suspicion that Tracy and Shadwell would, perhaps, make more sense to me if I started comparing them to each other and to their counterparts.

After all, that’s how me (and dozens other meta writers) have managed to understand Newt and Anathema.

Newt is reasonable and rationnal, and he is also free and questionning. Anathema has lived a life devoided of surprises, all according to the Great Plan prophecies of a long dead ancestor she can not directly talk to.

Newt and Anathema get together because of the prophecies, but STAY together because they chose to, and Newt is the one to bring that choice to Anathema. Do I need to say which of them echoes Crowley and which of them echoes Aziraphale ? What about Shadwell and Tracy then ?

Welp. Let’s dissect them, shall we ?

Madame Tracy is, arguably, the most formidable character of the lot. OK, I may be a bit bias, I adore the woman. But with good reasons !

Deep down, she’s got one of the – if not the – strongest moral compass of the whole characters cast. She has confidence in her morals and ethics enough to trust a supernatural entity who just invaded her body( after being rightfully offended and scolding him a little ) AND to then go against said entity, an angel of the Lord, when he’s about to do something reprehensible. 

Badass. But on the surface, what is she ? She’s a marginal, a prostitute, a con artist (something that I’m not entirely happy about as I find it morally reprehensible, but it is very likely she pretends to be a medium to be some sort of cheap psychiatrist to people who can’t afford it so… I’ll allow it. But anyway, it is also important that she’s not a parangon of pure unaltered virtue, so this makes sense). She is all the things Shadwell says she is, and in his mouth ( as well as in the eyes of society) they are insults. Worse : she exudes femininity, she is comfortable in her sexuality, she’s a businesswoman, she’s self-sufficent and financially independant (she’s even the one who gives money to Shadwell…). None of this is bad, but most of it is (or, hopefully, was) regarded as bad.

Ok, we got Tracy figured out. Let’s try to understand Shadwell now. Shadwell… Is also a marginal, in a way (he has been to prison, after all, if we include TV Omens canon). But he’s another kind of marginal.

He is not financially independant (again, see : asking money to Tracy, and also, scamming Crowley and Aziraphale for years, which is a way bigger and morally reprehensible con than whatever Tracy is doing with her fake medium act. But tbh, I’m so impressed he scammed not one, but two supernatural entities for funding the same useless organization, I can’t be mad at him. Not for that, I mean.) He isn’t nice, he isn’t polite, he … seems to be everything Tracy isn’t. And, as Tracy is a beacon of light and kindness, it makes sense Shadwell would be a rude blackhole of hatred. But, more than being a lightsucker, Shadwell’s opposition to Tracy makes sense if we shift the way we look at them. Tracy is what society deems morally reprehensible but she isn’t immoral, and more than that, she is very modern. Confident in herself. Taking her fate into her own hands. Turned towards the future.

Meanwhile, Shadwell is entirely turned towards the past, so much so that his traditionnalism is too much by present’s standards, and that is the bit that makes him the most marginal. He wears his sexism and his homophobia as badges of honor, and runs A WITCHFINDER ARMY. A very definitely outdated organization that has for goal : BURNING WITCHES. And gays, too, but mainly witches. This is an activity that was once considered ethical, necessary, ultimately good, but isn’t anymore. Heaven approved of the Witchfinders’ Army on these « morally good » premisses, and Hell approved of it on the cruelty and horror it was actually responsible for. Society has moved on. Shadwell hasn’t. At least in surface . Because, just like Madame Tracy’s activities as a prostitute and self-made woman can raise eyebrows but ultimately don’t define her as a moral person, Shadwell… hnnngh, this is more difficutl to say this about him, but when time comes for him to act on his rotten outdated thrown in our face moral principles, he is actually siding with Tracy. He protects her, he refuses to shoot Adam, he chooses to do what he finds to be morally good, and he and Tracy share the same morals. 

(Also the one time Shadwell thinks he has killed someone he is genuinely shocked, so he is far from being a cold blooded killer. Only when he wants to protect Tracy or prevent Armageddon - and after Aziraphale has shown he isn’t really dead - does he threateningly raise his finger again. ) ((But homophobia and sexism aren’t a good look on him. Or on anyone else, for that matter. It’s not charming. Tracy, why were you charmed ???? WHY ???? ))

And we can only suppose that Tracy, beacon of light that she is, able to see the best even in the scum of the Earth, already knew that Shadwell and her agreed about what was ultimately important. They’ve had, possibly, years of interactions before the plot of GO kicks in, and maybe Shadwell hasn’t been so consistently horrible all this time and showed her a better side ? I hope ??? But, anyway, the thing is : these characters, Tracy and Shadwell, are made to mirror some of the best and worst things coming out of humanity. Tracy being kinda the worst possible carreer and personnal choice for religious bigots, and Shadwell being so deep into bigotry that it made him terrible even by bigots’ standards. Shadwell’s speech would have made him a hero a few centuries ago, now he’s just a lunatic. Tracy would have been burnt at the stake for her life choices. Now she’s… well, not in danger, at the very least, and besides Shadwell, all the GO characters seem to respect her. ( Or fear her, as is the case for Newt. ) ((I’m joking, I think he likes her, but confident people intimidate him.)) So. We’ve got Tracy who has built herself her own moral compass and is confident in the choices she made despite the hostility and difficulties she may have encountered, and Shadwell who lives according to a bunch of bigotted outdated rules he doesn’t actually believe in all that much. HA. Why does that ring a bell, I wonder… For the sake of not letting any ounce of ambiguity floating in the air, I’m going to spell it out :

Shadwell and the Witchfinders’ rules echo Anathema and her prophecies, and Aziraphale and Heaven’s indoctrination. Meanwhile, Tracy echoes Newt and Crowley for their marginality and self-made moral code (ok it’s less obvious for Newt especially if you haven’t read the book but he is the kind to question stuff constantly, to the point he hesitates a lot and has troubles finding his place in the world, but his – tiny - character arc is that he becomes able to question correctly and make decisions and help others make decisions).

The interesting thing is, in a way, Shadwell embodies the worst surface aspect of being a bigot blindly obeying outdated rules, while Tracy is the best possible outcome of a marginal making a life for themself. Newt and Anathema place somewhere in the middle, Anathema being able to let go of the thing that was ruling her life, and Newt is in the process of learning who he is, getting comfortable with that person and finding a place for himself in the world.

As for Crowley and Aziraphale, their long lives has thrown them in morally grey areas for a looong time, but at the end of GO, once freed from Heaven and Hell -but especially Heaven as Aziraphale has the most work to do to also get rid off his endoctrination completely- they are free to join Tracy, Shadwell, Newt and Anathema into finally becoming the most blooming versions of themselves. It is not too late, no matter how dark or how far back they’re coming from.

But !!! I am not entirely done.

The sword. And the gun. Both weapon given - more or less – to humanity by Aziraphale. The flaming sword, given at the very beginning to Adam and Eve hoping they’d use it to protect themselves, and that ends up in the hands of War. The thundergun, not given but required by Aziraphale to be put to use, right as the Armageddon is about to put an end to humanity, and to be used, this time, to kill someone. And, as I mentionned, both Shadwell and Tracy refuse to shoot.

Aziraphale cannot make humanity obey him, now can he ? Because that’s what it is, ultimately. Humanity. And, as always, free will. Because Tracy and Shadwell represent certain extremes and a lot of grey areas of humanity’s morals and diversity of personnalities, they are -almost- perfect ambassadors of humanity as a whole. Good and Evil bear no meaning around them, they refuse to fit neatly into any category, especially when scrutinized through the lenses of different places and eras as ethics shift constantely. Shadwell shows that even garbage trash men can show empathy, Tracy is the most merciful and kind person, which doesn’t prevent her from being surprisingly strong and adamant when needed. Shadwell and Tracy are part of each other’s life, against all odds, and even if it might have been just because they were neighbours at first, they ultimately chose to remain together. All duos chose to stick to their counterpart in the end. All of them represent the many contradictions of humanity, and how love is the ultimate way to live along together. And they use their free will for love. And while I would not, ever, EVER want to interact with a Shadwell IRL, I now see why it was important to make him the way he is depicted. From a narrative point of view, it was important to make him seemingly irreedemable, only for the one character he harrasses the most to trust and love him, because Tracy knows he, actually, isn’t as bad as it may seem. Because people who might seem horrible are not necessarily the ones who are. Because even Shadwell can love and be loved. And because everybody can improve.

Now, I do not know why the sexism and the homophobia had to be the main choices to convey how much of a bigotted idiot Shadwell was (No, I mean, I think I know why: probably because killing witches and gays were the Witchfinders’ Army main goals, but still, it’s tough on modern audiences - whether this should be taken into account by authors is... quite a debate to have, and maybe the main reason it bothers me? idk idk, I’ve already thought too much at this point). Because despite the fact that some of his lines and his excellent actor made him nice to see on screen (or read in the book for that matter), I have a very hard time liking his character. But that might be the point. I don’t know. Only Tracy can love him. But at least now, it makes more sense to me.

[good-omens-classic]

Hi Good Omens fans, ever since making this blog, and trawling through the archives for old art, I have been thinking again about trends from before the TV-show, and the way people draw Aziraphale and Crowley.  I wanted to make this post addressing it but this is not “discourse” or to start a fight, in fact I would be perfectly content if all I did was make people think critically about what I am about to say and not even interact with this post at all, but I feel like I need to say it.

Talking about any racist undertones to the way people draw our two favorite boys usually makes people dig their heels in pretty fast.  This is not a callout post for any artist in particular, this is not me trying to be overly critical of artists especially since they have more talent and skill than I do, and I’m going to address some common counterpoints that I frankly find unsatisfactory.  Let’s just take a moment to set aside our defensiveness and think objectively about these trends.  It took me a while to unlearn my dismissive attitude about these concerns so maybe I can help others get over that hurdle a little faster.  Now let’s begin.

I’ve been kicking around the Good Omens fandom since maybe 2015 and for art based in book canon, whether it was made before the TV show came out, or because the artist is consciously drawing different, original designs, I’m going to estimate that a decent 75% of all fanart looks like this

Aziraphale is white and blonde and blue-eyed while Crowley is the typical “racially ambiguous” brown skin tone it’s become so popular to draw podcast characters as nowadays.

And the question is why?  With the obvious answer being “it’s racist,” but let’s delve a little deeper than that.

A common thing I hear is that people get appearance headcanons fixed in their mind because the coverart of the book pictures the characters a certain way.  My first point is this only shifts the question to why the illustrators drew them that way, when there aren’t many physical descriptions in the book.  My second point is that while there definitely are cover arts that picture Aziraphale as cherubic, blonde, and white and Crowley as swarthy, dark-skinned, and racially ambiguous...

(side note: why is Crowley’s hand so tiny?  what the hell is going on in this cover?)

It’s much more common for the covers to simplified, stylized, and without any particular unambiguous skin tones

I don’t know about the UK but the most popular version in the United States is the dual black and white matching covers

And while you could make an argument that the shading on Crowley’s face could suggest a darker skintone, it seems obvious to me that lacking any color these are not supposed to suggest any particular race for either of these two, and the contrasting colors are a stylistic choice to emphasize how they are on opposite sides.  If anything, to me it suggests they are both white.

In short I simply do not buy the argument that people are drawing Aziraphale and Crowley this way because that’s how they were represented on the cover art of the book.  If you draw them the way they are on the cover then whatever, I don’t care, but I don’t believe that’s what’s driving this trend.

The second thing people will say is that Good Omens is a work of satire, and it’s based in Christian mythology which has this trend of depicting angels as white, and it is embodying the trope of a “white, cherubic angel” paired with a dark-skinned demon for the explicit purpose of subverting the trope of “white angel is good, dark demon is bad” since Aziraphale is not an unambiguous hero and Crowley is not a villain.  “It’s not actually like that because Crowley isn’t a bad demon, and Aziraphale isn’t actually a perfect angel” is the argument.  This has a certain logic to it and allows some nuance to the topic, but to this I say:

Uncritically reproducing a trope, even in the context of a satire novel, is not enough to subvert it.  Good Omens is not criticising the racist history of the church, and while the book does have some pointed jabs at white British culture (such as Madam Tracy conning gullible Brits with an unbelievably ignorant stereotype of a Native American) it is not being critical of the conception of angels as white and blonde or the literal demonization of non-white people.  That’s just not what the book is about.  So making the angel white and the demon dark-skinned, playing directly into harmful tropes and stereotypes, is not somehow subversive or counter-cultural when doing so doesn’t say anything about anything.

Please consider fully the ramifications of the conception of white and blonde people as innocent and cherubic and dark-skinned people as infernal and mischievous, especially in modern contexts...

Black people are more likely to be viewed as violent, angry, and dangerous.  Priming with a dark-skinned face makes people more likely to mistake a tool for a gun.  Black people are viewed as experiencing pain less intensely by medical professionals.  Black men are viewed as physically larger and more imposing than they actually are.  The subconscious racial bias favoring light skin is so ingrained it’s measurable by objective scientific studies, on top of the anecdotal evidence of things like news stories choosing flattering, “cherubic” pictures of white and blond criminals while using unflattering mugshots for non-white offenders.

This is why I say that if you’re going to invoke the “whites are angelic” trope, you better have a damn good subversion of it to justify it, because this idea causes real harm to real people in the real world.  And Aziraphale being a bit of a bastard despite being an angel, I just don’t see that as sufficient.  I am especially cautious of when it’s my fellow white fans that make this argument, not because I believe they do this out of any sort of malice or hatred of people with dark skin, but because I know first-hand it stems from a dismissiveness rooted in not wanting to think about it for too long because it makes us uncomfortable.  Non-white people do not have the luxury of not thinking about it, because it’s part of their life.

Now the strongest textual evidence people use, in the absence of much real descriptor, is this:

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort" 

This piece of art has circulated in the fandom for so long I don’t know the original artist and it’s been used for everything from fancovers to perfume.  This is where I found it and it’s one of the first things that come up when you google this quote about Aziraphale.  

Doesn’t it just feel like this is the man that’s describing, some blonde effeminate gay man?  Well guess what, there’s the “blonde as innocence” trope rearing its ugly head again, because the stereotype of gay men and effeminacy as being a white and blonde thing is--ding ding ding you guessed it--racism.  And why would intelligent suggest a white and blonde person, except if the stereotype of a dark-skinned person is less intelligent?

Now the point of “people assume Aziraphale is British” is another sticking point people will often use, claiming that the stereotype of a British person is white and blonde.  I guess this has some merit, since the British empire was one of the biggest forces behind white colonial expansion, and it seems disingenuous to assign “British” as “nonwhite” as soon as we’re being satirical, in the same way I found it distasteful that the TV show made God female when so many of the criticisms of the church are about its misogyny and lose their teeth as soon as God is no longer male.

However consider that 1.4 million Indian people live in the UK.  I heard a man say aloud once that the concept of a black person having a British accent was a little funny, as though Doctor Who doesn’t exist and have black people on it.  And I’m not overly familiar with the social landscape of the UK, but I understand they’re experiencing a xenophobia boom and non-white Brits aren’t considered “really British.”  The stereotype of non-white people not being British only exists because of reinforcement in media.  If you really want to be subversive, drawing Aziraphale as Indian goes way further than drawing him as white IMO.

Now let’s talk about Crowley.  He is almost always drawn with a darker skin tone than Aziraphale, even when they are both white, and while I’ve outlined above how this is problematic on terms of linking light skin with innocence, I think it does have an extra layer.  I think it also has to do with the exotification and fetishization of brown skin and non-white people.

This artist’s tumblr is gone now but their art is still on dA and while it’s definitely beautiful and well-done, I think this is a very good example of what I’m talking about.

Crowley and Aziraphale necessarily contrast each other, so describing Aziraphale as “British” might suggest that Crowley is “foreign-looking.”  I also know *ahem* that the fandom generally thirsts over Crowley to hell and back, so making him a swarthy, tall dark and handsome is not necessarily surprising.

An interesting thing happened when the TV show came out, and everyone started drawing Michael Sheen!Aziraphale and David Tennant!Crowley more and more often:  It’s not ubiquitous, but it does happen that sometimes artists will draw David Tennant’s skin darker than it actually is.  The subconscious urge to see Crowley with dark skin is for some reason that strong for many people.  And I really encourage people doing this to think about why.  Not naming any names but I’ve working with fanartists before for collabs who I had to ask to lighten “bad guy” demon’s skin tones because it looked like they were making the skin darker on purpose to make them look scarier.  This person is a perfectly pleasant person who tries not to be racist!  And we both still fell into it accidentally, and it took me a while to notice and point it out, because the ingrained stigmatization of darker skin is pervasive yet often goes unnoticed.

What is the solution?  I don’t know, and as a white person I’m not really qualified to make that call.  Do we draw them both with the exact same skin tone?  Is it better to make them both white?  Should we make both of them non-white?  Should we only make Aziraphale non-white?  I am consciously aware of the fact that the Good Omens fandom is mostly white people, so most of the art we make is being both made by and consumed by white people, so I don’t feel comfortable saying “draw these characters of color specifically” because that can also veer into fetishization territory very quickly.  This is not specific to good omens but I think we should pay attention to what fans of color say in all fandom spaces and weigh our choices even if they seem insignificant.  And it’s important to realize that fans of color will not be a monolith in their opinion either, and it’s our responsibility to recognize that everyone can be affected by racism and social issues differently, the same way all women are affected by misogyny differently so just because one woman says such as such is misogynistic and another says it’s not.  I’m sure there are non-white fans who think it’s perfectly fine to draw Aziraphale as white and Crowley as ambiguously non-white.  I’m not saying they’re wrong.  And I’m not saying you can’t reblog this kind of art, or that people who make or made it should feel bad about themselves.  But so often this sort of thing goes unaddressed just because people don’t like thinking about it, and well, avoiding hard questions never really goes well I think.